#jess occasionally writes stuff

[burymeinwillow]

Joe, Heather and their time travel baby

The Heather/Joe story quickly(ish) summarized

- Heather Dawson travels back in time from 1994/1995 to 1865 Virginia City. - Gets work as an assistant to the Doctor in town (because in her own time she worked as a nurse). - Meets the Cartwrights, is not impressed by Little Joe trying to flirt with her. - Tells Joe she's NOT interested in him and she never will be. Her entire goal while being in the past is to simply get home, and she has no interest in getting connections. - Heather gets in trouble in town and ends up staying with the Cartwrights. She doesn't want to stay for free, so she offers to help around the house and also tend to injured ranch hands etc. - Joe and Heather are not friends at first, he's butthurt she rejected him so harhsly and she thinks he's annoying and charming - Heather starts catching feelings for Joe despite what she said (Joe was already in love from Day One) - After ALOT of pining and wierd communication, feelings are revealed and they get married. - Heather chooses to stay in the past with Joe and his family. Letting go of her own time and life. - Heather is married to Joe for three years. - Their first child is a miscarriage, it was a daughter. - In 1868 Heather finds out she's pregnant again, and she tells Joe. - The same year, some drama happens and Heather is forced to travel back to her own time after thinking Joe is dead (he "died" in her arms) - Heather finds herself back in her own time, 1998. Jesse is born 6-7 months later. - She raises Jesse on her own in her time and never remarries. - Jesse grows up and takes alot after his father, but Heather never told him the truth of who his father is. - He becomes a naval aviator. - In 2022, Heather passes away, but before she passes she tells Jesse about his father and he is not impressed at first. - After her death, Jesse digs into who his paternal family is and finds out Joe didn't die when Heather thought he did. - He decides to travel back in time and confront his father, but ends up getting along and he really enjoying the Ponderosa and The Cartwrights his family

[spideyhexx]

bfs billy and pat in modern au 😔

listen.

[loser4loserswhok1ll]

How i think slashers would hug, displayed in gifs.

this is just sillay cutie stuff while i write a shit ton of other things. these are all just what id imagine theyd hug like.

characters included: brahms heelshire, jesse cromeans, asa emory, rz michael myers, billy lenz, stu macher, billy loomis, thomas hewitt, norman bates

Brahms Heelshire

real desperate and touchy. hed swallow you whole if he could, sometimes he tries. he digs his hands into your clothes, breathes you in deep. he pants everytime you touch him like an overexcited dog. he will probably need help afterwards, so i hope you dont have anything to do in the next hour or two.

Jesse Cromeans

hugs you from behind in a possessive, "i own you" type of way. youre his, and having you in a vulnerable position like that, back to chest, lets him remind you both of that. occasionally he'll hug you from the front, but thats usually when you guys are going to have a night together to get kinky. when you arent hugging, he loves to hold your waist. especially around people. he loves showing everyone his little trophy pet.

Asa Emory

hes not much for physical touch, so when he hugs you its kind of awkard and aggressive. he tries to make it sweet if he thinks you really deserve it. he only does side or back hugs. when he does actually hug you, he holds your neck and shoulders in a near death grip, just reminding you who you belong to.

RZ Michael Myers

hes so fucked up the most youll get is he'll occasionally rest his head on yours or your shoulder. his arms are stiff at his sides but its pleasant regardless. really rare, so cherish it. maybe he'll warm up as time goes on, maybe not. if you guys ever actually hug, it'll remind him of his mom and you wont see him for a week or two because he'll self isolate.

Billy Lenz

hes the girl in the gif. he will jump you. i hope youre always prepared, because he does it randomly and he always gets a running start. he gets all shakey, starts rambling, nearly claws at you, digs his boney body into yours. he'll breathe deep but erratic, smelling every aspect of you as he babbles on. hes like a dog everytime you see him, wagging his tail and hopping up to lick you.

Stu Macher

always really playful. if he can pick you up, he will all the time. he also loves to hold you from behind while you sit on his lap. you probably end up making out for the 50th time that day.

Billy Loomis

if he actually loves you, the hugs are chest to chest and sweet. on a surface level, he uses back hugs with everyone else he has been with. but thats not because he loves them, its more of a 'im bigger and stronger than you' type of thing. it takes him a long time before the actually sweet and real hugs become frequent between you two. he still gives you back hugs, though. hes possessive.

Thomas Hewitt

he will bury his face in your neck and breathe you in. youre a reminder of the domesticity he craves. your scent is his home, you arms are his warmth, your breath is his music, you are everything hes needed his entire life.

Norman Bates

holds you so lightly you can hardly even tell hes there. hes so scared of breaking you, like youre a fragile bug he doesnt want to squash. if you guys can even get this far into a relationship (with mother and all), then hugs will be relatively frequent. his hands always shake, he always stutters, and sometimes you have to remind him that he can actually hug you instead of just gently hold you. when you arent hugging, he holds his hand on the small of your back as much as he can. hes afraid you'll slip through his fingers if he lets go for just a second, and he cant let go of you. youre the only good thing hes had in his life.

[w31rd0-art1st]

Even more clone trooper headcanons, because yes.

(courtesy of my sibling) Hunter has a list of all the different dirts of different planets he's been to and he's rated each and every single one. Ex: Tatooine: no dirt, only sand. 0/10. Kashyyyk: very nice, many different kinds of dirt. Overall 8/10. He puts more detail into his descriptions but I'm too lazy to write all that.

Tup gets away with fucking everything. Those Tooka eyes are deadly.

Dogma can also do the Tooka eyes but chooses not too.

Hardcase gives the best massages. Sore neck? He'll fix it in no time. Sore back? He's got ya. Rex, Kix, and the mechanics love him.

Once, after a very long and already overstimulating day, Hardcase jokingly messed with one of Dogma's things and accidentally just, broke Dogma. He just started yelling at Hardcase, Which turned into him yelling at Fives, Which turned into him just kinda yelling at no one in particular about things that upset him. Yes there are videos of it, and yes it haunts him every single day of his existence.

Crosshair = Cat. He gravitates towards warm spaces, knocks things off of tables to make room for his own stuff, his eyes do that reflective thing in the dark. And more.

Jesse occasionally just, faints. Kix can't figure out what's wrong and he hates It.

Tup needs glasses but he goes with contacts because A, glasses break easily. And B, they can't fit underneath his bucket. Also he can't find a pair he likes.

Rex is all responsible and stuff when it comes to his legion. But the second he's with the command batch he suddenly has no survival instincts and becomes so chaotic he rivals Anakin. This disturbs everyone In the 501st. (Also, this only happens when at least three other members of the command batch are present.)

Dogma has a little emotional support plushie that's weighted. Shaak-ti gave it to him when he was a cadet and he can't sleep without it. (It's a BLÅHAJ. I'm not even gonna try and lie. It's a weighted space BLÅHAJ.)

Bly has an engagement ring picked out for Aayla but he keeps chickening out whenever he goes to propose. Aayla knows about the ring and all his attempts. Aayla acts oblivious.

I'm just gonna keep making more of these I don't care if you don't like em.

More heaconons ⬇️

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

[pbaz7]

AN: Hellooo, a few people told me they liked the story so I’m back with part 2. Please please let me know if I should continue. I’m actually really enjoying writing this and I have ideas of where I want it to go if people are interested.

It’ll Always Be Her Part II

The sunlight peeked through the blinds, casting warm, soft streaks across the bed. Paige stirred first, her eyes fluttering open. A peaceful calm washed over her as she took in the sight of Azzi sleeping beside her, the morning light catching the subtle contours of her face. Her dark lashes rested against her cheeks. She looked beautiful in every sense, Paige couldn’t help but smile, the sight filling her chest with an unfamiliar lightness.

She didn’t feel the usual pang of guilt or confusion. Not this time.

Azzi shifted slightly, her brow furrowing as she blinked herself awake. Slowly her eyes found Paige’s, still groggy but already catching the look in Paige’s gaze. That look–a mixture of curiosity, affection, and something deeper–was unmistakable. It sent a ripple through Azzi that she immediately understood but knew they weren’t quite ready to act on.

“Good morning,” Paige whispered, her voice soft but carrying an edge of playfulness.

Azzi smirked lazily, her voice low and a little raspy. “Morning, You’re staring.”

Paige chuckled, her cheeks warming slightly. “Maybe, You’re just really pretty when you’re not yelling at me to wake up.”

Azzi rolled her eyes but laughed, the sound rich and warm. “I’ll keep that in mind for tomorrow.” She stretched a little bit but her arms stayed around Paige, drawing her back into their cozy tangle. “So, what’s on your agenda today, superstar?”

Paige leaned in slightly, their faces close enough that their foreheads nearly touched. “Mmm, not much. Gotta deal with a test, and we’ve got practice, of course.”

“Sounds thrilling,” Azzi teased, her hand lightly brushing against Paige’s arm. “Think you can keep up with me today?”

Paige arched a brow, a playful glint in her eyes. “Keep up? Please. You’ve been trailing me on the court for weeks.”

Azzi snorted softly. “That’s cute, You’re cute when you’re delusional.”

The banter flowed effortlessly, their voices barely above a whisper, intimate in the quiet morning. With each exchange, they seemed to draw impossibly closer, their breathing syncing, their words punctuated by the occasional brush of hands or shift of legs.

Paige’s heart raced as Azzi’s gaze dropped briefly to her lips, then back to her eyes. She felt the weight of the moment, the pull between them stronger than ever.

“You know,” Paige murmured, her voice carrying a hint of something unspoken, “if we don’t get out of bed soon, we’ll be late for lifting.”

“Probably,” Azzi replied, but she made no move to leave, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns along Paige’s arm.

Their faces were inches apart now, breaths mingling, Paige could feel the heat radiating from Azzi, and for a fleeting second, she thought about closing that last bit of distance. Azzi seemed to be thinking the same, her hand moving to gently rest on Paige’s hip.

The tension between them was electric, each waiting for the other to make the next move.

Then without warning Azzi’s smile faltered slightly, a flicker of hesitation in her eyes. “Paige,” she said softly, careful not to hurt the older girl's feelings, her tone shifting. “We can’t.”

Paige frowned, the warmth in her chest dimming. “Why not?”

Azzi sighed, her hand moving up to rest lightly on Paige’s arm. “Jess,” she said simply. “We both know this..we can’t go there while she’s still in the picture.”

Paige groaned, flopping back onto the pillow. “I was going to break things off with her,” she said, her frustration evident. “Before she dropped the family stuff on me. I was ready, Azzi.”

Azzi’s gaze softened. “I know. But doing it now? Over text, while she’s dealing with all of that? You don’t want to be that person, Paige. And you’re not.”

Paige exhaled heavily, running a hand through her hair. “It just feels so…messy. I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending everything’s fine.”

Azzi shifted closer, her voice gentle. “We’ll figure it out. Just…wait until she’s back. Talk to her face-to-face.”

Paige nodded reluctantly, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly. "Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

As she sat up, ready to start her day, Azzi’s eyes followed her. Paige was halfway to stretching when she caught Azzi openly raking her gaze up her body, lingering for just a beat too long.

"Really?" Paige teased, raising an eyebrow.

Azzi didn’t even try to deny it, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. "Can you blame me?"

Paige crossed her arms, leaning slightly to one side. "You’re supposed to be the responsible one, remember? Telling me to wait and all that."

Azzi shrugged, her eyes still shamelessly drinking Paige in. "I never said I wasn’t tempted."

Paige rolled her eyes, but there was a faint blush creeping up her cheeks. "We’re waiting," she said, her tone firm, though the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her resolve.

Azzi bit her lip, her smirk deepening as she slowly got out of bed. "If you say so." Her gaze lingered just a moment longer before she turned, the sway of her hips deliberate as she headed toward the bathroom.

Paige watched her go, muttering under her breath, "Impossible."

Azzi glanced back over her shoulder, catching Paige’s eye one last time. "You love it," she said with a wink, disappearing through the doorway.

…

The weight room buzzed with energy, the sound of clanging metal and low chatter filling the air. Paige and Azzi ended up in separate lifting groups, but that didn’t stop them from finding each other across the room.

Every time Paige moved to adjust a bar or add weight, she’d catch Azzi’s eye. The smirk that played on Azzi’s lips whenever their gazes met sent a thrill through her. Azzi, for her part, seemed to always be positioned just right—either brushing past Paige or standing close enough for their arms to graze when they crossed paths.

Paige wasn’t subtle, either. Her eyes lingered on Azzi’s toned frame when she thought no one was watching, appreciating the effortless way she moved.

Caroline, spotting Azzi leaning against a squat rack, sauntered over, towel slung over her shoulder. “Alright, spill,” she said, her tone playful but pointed. “What’s going on between you and Paige? Because whatever it is, you two are about as subtle as a KK coming into a room and the whole room can feel the tension.

Azzi raised an eyebrow, chuckling softly as she picked up a kettlebell. “What are you talking about?”

Caroline gave her a deadpan look. “Don’t play dumb. The eye contact, the lingering touches, the whole...thing.” She gestured vaguely in Paige’s direction. “Come on, I’m not blind.”

Azzi sighed, setting the kettlebell down. “It’s...complicated.” She wiped her hands on her shorts, her gaze flickering back to Paige, who was busy adjusting her grip on a barbell. “We want each other. That much is obvious.”

Caroline snorted. “Yeah, no kidding. So, what’s stopping you?”

Azzi hesitated, her voice lowering. “Paige has a girlfriend. Jess.”

Caroline wrinkled her nose. “Jess? The one who’s been a total bitch to you since day one? Please. Why does that even matter? What does that have to do with you two?”

Azzi let out a short laugh, shaking her head. “I might’ve given her a few reasons to be upset.”

Caroline raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

Azzi hesitated, then gave a wry smile. “Let’s just say I’m not exactly subtle when Jess is around.” She shrugged, almost sheepishly. “I’ll admit, I push it a bit sometimes—making Paige laugh, leaning in close, touching her just enough to make her flustered. All while Jess is watching.”

Caroline’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow. Bold move.”

Azzi leaned against the squat rack, her smirk returning. “Only because of how rude Jess is to me. From the moment we met, she’s been cold, making snide comments. I wouldn’t normally do it, but she brings it out of me.”

Caroline tilted her head, curious. “Like what? What does she say?”

Azzi shrugged. “Little things. She questions why I’m always around, makes passive-aggressive comments about me crashing at Paige’s place. Stuff like that. So, yeah, I might wear Paige’s hoodie when Jess is visiting. And, yeah, I’ve been known to brush my hand against Paige’s back or shoulder, just to see if I can get a reaction.” She grinned wickedly. “Paige gets this cute little blush every time.”

Caroline laughed, shaking her head. “You’re evil.”

Azzi grinned wider. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t do it if Jess wasn’t so nasty all the time. It’s not like I go out of my way to make things worse. Most of the time, Jess does that all on her own.”

Caroline considered this, then shrugged. “Still, if Paige is letting it happen, that says something. You sure she’s even into Jess?”

Azzi’s eyes softened as she looked across the room, where Paige was adjusting weights on a barbell. “She’s loyal,” Azzi said quietly. “And she feels guilty. That’s why she hasn’t ended it yet.”

Azzi’s gaze drifted back to Paige, who was stretching now, her shirt riding up just slightly to reveal a sliver of toned stomach. Paige caught Azzi looking and shot her a playful glare, which only made Azzi grin wider.

Caroline rolled her eyes at the two. “Screw timing then. Jess isn’t here, and it sounds like she doesn’t treat Paige that great anyway. Why are you holding back for someone who barely even likes you and who Paige is barely in a relationship with?”

Azzi considered that, her gaze softening as she watched Paige laugh at something one of her teammates said. “Good question,” she said quietly.

Paige glanced up then, her eyes meeting Azzi’s. The air between them seemed to spark, the weight room fading into the background for a moment. Paige’s gaze flickered down Azzi’s body, lingering just a little too long, before she quickly looked away, cheeks faintly pink.

Caroline nudged Azzi with a knowing grin. “See? You’re wasting time.”

Azzi smirked, picking up her towel. “Maybe you’re right,” she murmured. “Why should I push aside what I want for someone I barely know?”

With renewed determination, Azzi grinned to herself. Over the next few weeks, she’d turn up the heat. Subtle glances and light brushes wouldn’t cut it. She’d make sure Paige felt everything she did.

“Time to step up my game,” Azzi said, her tone full of resolve.

Caroline laughed, slapping Azzi on the back. “Now that’s the Azzi I know.”

…

Paige adjusted the weights on her barbell, her mind far from the task at hand. Her thoughts kept drifting back to that morning, to the way Azzi’s warm body felt against hers, the low murmur of her voice, and that damn smirk. The memory of Azzi’s lips—soft, so close—sent a shiver down her spine. She clenched her jaw, trying to focus, but it was impossible.

Her eyes wandered, almost involuntarily, back to Azzi across the room. The other girl was effortlessly beautiful, her skin glistening under the gym’s harsh fluorescent lights, her curls pulled into a loose bun that seemed to defy gravity. Paige's gaze lingered on the curve of her shoulders, the way her muscles flexed with every movement, and those lips, parted slightly as she concentrated.

God, she was a distraction.

The worst part was the heat building inside her—frustration, desire, and something softer, more dangerous. She’d tried to ignore it, to bury it under excuses and loyalty to Jess. But this morning, tangled up in Azzi, it was impossible to deny. She wanted her. She wanted the girl with the dark curls, the quick wit, and the way she always made Paige feel like the only person in the room.

And the way Azzi looked at her…like she knew exactly what Paige was thinking, like she was waiting for her to break.

Paige exhaled sharply, forcing herself to focus as one of her teammates called out that it was her turn to lift. She stepped up to the barbell, wiping her hands on her shorts, but not before catching Azzi’s eyes.

Azzi was staring at her, and for a moment, everything else faded. There was something different in her expression now—a determination that sent a thrill through Paige. It wasn’t just teasing or flirtation anymore. It was a challenge, a promise, a silent declaration.

Paige’s heart skipped a beat, and she quickly looked away, gripping the barbell tightly as she prepared for her set. But even as she lifted, the weight pressing down on her shoulders, her mind stayed on Azzi.

What was she planning? And how much longer could Paige resist?

…

Later that night the suite buzzed with energy, the air thick with laughter, playful banter, and the occasional sound of someone dramatically yelling about losing at cards. The movie was more of a formality now, its dialogue drowned out by the team’s antics. Paige sat on the couch, her legs stretched out comfortably, but her focus was entirely elsewhere.

Azzi was beside her, close enough that their arms brushed every now and then, each touch igniting a spark that neither could ignore. Paige felt bold tonight—bolder than she’d expected. Maybe it was the residual energy from the morning or the way Azzi kept glancing at her, but she found herself leaning into the tension.

"You always this handsy during movie night?" Paige teased, her voice low enough that only Azzi could hear.

Azzi smirked, her eyes glinting with mischief. "Only when the company’s good," she shot back, letting her fingers briefly graze Paige’s forearm.

Paige’s lips quirked up as she tilted her head toward Azzi, her voice dropping to a playful murmur. "You might want to be careful. People could get ideas."

Azzi chuckled, leaning closer, her curls brushing against Paige’s cheek. "Let them," she whispered.

For a moment, they simply sat there, the weight of unspoken words hanging between them. But Paige wasn’t content to let Azzi have all the fun tonight. As the room’s energy shifted, with some teammates moving around to grab more snacks, Paige stood up. She circled the couch and came up behind Azzi, her heart pounding with anticipation.

Azzi was mid-conversation with Ice when Paige leaned down, her breath warm against Azzi’s ear. "You know," Paige whispered, her voice just loud enough for Azzi to hear, "you’re making it really hard for me to focus tonight."

Azzi froze for a split second, her eyes widening before she quickly masked her reaction. "Oh, am I?" she said, her voice a little breathier than usual.

Paige grinned, enjoying the rare sight of Azzi flustered. She let her fingers trail lightly over Azzi’s shoulder as she pulled back, returning to her seat.

Azzi turned her head slightly, her cheeks tinged with a faint blush. "You’re trouble, blondie," she muttered under her breath, her lips curving into a small smile.

Paige arched a brow, her eyes glinting with playful challenge. "Takes one to know one."

The night went on, but the game between them only intensified. Azzi wasn’t about to let Paige’s sudden boldness go unanswered. She leaned in closer during conversations, her touches lingering a little longer, her voice softer and more intimate.

At one point, Azzi let her hand rest on Paige’s thigh for a moment too long as she reached for her drink, her thumb brushing against the fabric. Paige felt her breath catch, but instead of pulling away, she leaned in, her voice a teasing murmur. "Careful, Azzi. You’re making it hard to behave."

Azzi’s smirk was immediate. "Good," she whispered back, her eyes locked on Paige’s. "I wasn’t planning on making it easy."

The room around them faded further into the background as they continued their unspoken dance. Paige felt a heady mix of exhilaration and frustration as the night wore on, each shared glance, each touch, pushing them closer to a line neither was ready to cross.

When the movie ended and teammates started to gather their things, Azzi stood, stretching casually. Paige couldn’t help but watch the way her shirt rode up slightly, exposing a sliver of toned skin. Azzi caught her staring and bit her lip, her eyes flicking down Paige’s form in return.

"You heading to bed, P?" Azzi asked, her voice laced with suggestion.

Paige crossed her arms, leaning casually against the couch. "Maybe. You planning to behave yourself tonight?"

Azzi stepped closer, her smirk widening. "Depends," she said, her voice dropping. "Will it be more fun if I don’t?"

Paige laughed softly, shaking her head. "You’re impossible," she said, though the warmth in her tone betrayed how much she was enjoying this.

Azzi shrugged, biting her lip before turning toward the bathroom. But before she could get far, Paige reached out, gently grabbing her wrist.

"Wait," Paige said, her voice softer now, her eyes searching Azzi’s. "What changed? This morning, you were the one telling me we needed to slow down because of Jess."

Azzi tilted her head, her expression softening. "I thought about it," she said simply. "And I realized…I want you. I’m not going to ignore that anymore." Her eyes flicked to Paige’s lips for a second before meeting her gaze again. "But I’d never let you do something that goes against who you are. That’s not how this works."

Paige blinked, her throat tight. She felt the weight of Azzi’s words settle over her, the pull between them growing stronger by the second.

Paige lingered in the living room for a moment, her thoughts swirling as her teammates filtered out one by one. The air still buzzed with the energy of the night, but she knew she wouldn’t find any calm out here. With a deep breath, she pushed off the couch and headed toward her bedroom.

When she stepped inside, the soft glow of a bedside lamp illuminated Azzi, who was already tucked into bed. She was scrolling through her phone, her curls spilling over the pillow in effortless waves. She looked up as Paige entered, a slow, knowing smile curving her lips.

Paige leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms. "Settling in, huh?" she said, her voice light but laced with teasing.

Azzi chuckled, setting her phone on the nightstand. "You know it," she replied, her eyes flicking up to meet Paige’s.

Paige shook her head, smiling as she grabbed her sleep clothes from a drawer. "You’d better behave tonight," she said over her shoulder as she changed.

Azzi propped herself up on one elbow, her smirk widening. "What? You think I’m plotting something?" she teased, her tone playful but with that familiar edge of suggestion.

Paige turned back to her, hands on her hips. "I wouldn’t put it past you."

Azzi laughed softly, her gaze warm. "Relax," she said, patting the space beside her. "I just expect the usual cuddles. Nothing more…unless you’re offering."

Paige rolled her eyes, but her grin betrayed her. "You’re impossible," she muttered, climbing into bed.

As she settled under the covers, Azzi shifted closer, wrapping an arm around Paige’s waist like it was the most natural thing in the world. Paige let out a soft sigh, her body relaxing into the familiar comfort of Azzi’s embrace.

"Goodnight, Azzi," she said softly, her voice carrying a warmth that wasn’t there earlier.

"Goodnight, Paige," Azzi whispered back, her tone light but sincere.

Despite the tension that had simmered between them all day, the comfort of their closeness made everything feel just a little bit easier. Paige closed her eyes, a small smile lingering on her lips as sleep began to pull her under.

[admirationandromantics]

What would be every UD characters love language? Like, the type they like that their partner do and what they do to their partner?

Ohhh, I really like this one, and I have thought of it before. These are just personal opinions, but I'll try to explain some of them. This also features Hannah and Beth!

Matt: I definitely think Matt’s love language is words of affirmation. He seems like the guy who’s secretly very insecure, and therefore needs the extra reassurance. Tell him how you feel about him by saying how you love his kindness and generosity, he’ll melt like putty in your arms. This guy will get so incredibly flustered if you give him a genuine compliment. 

Mike: I think many people believe that his love language is touch, but I don’t agree. I believe it’s acts of service. He’ll do small things here and there. Get you a drink or  food when you didn’t even ask, carry you up the mountain if you’re tired, and drape a blanket over you when you sleep. He loves doing things, feeling useful and wanted. If he just gets over his commitment issues, he’ll do every small or big thing for you. 

Josh: I feel like this one is kinda obvious, but I definitely think touch is his love language. I’m not just talking about being sexually intimate, but also the small touches. Holding hands, carrying you, resting his arm somewhere on you at all times. It grounds him, reminding him that you’re real and not a figment of his imagination. This also applies to small pecks and kisses throughout the day. 

Chris: I find this one very difficult, and want to say both quality time and touch (always the small ones), but I settled on acts of service for this man too. He loves doing things for you, again, feeling useful and needed. He gets reassurance that you need him when he does these things for you. He always makes you a cup of tea, and loves to help you with different chores throughout the day. 

Sam: This one was quite obvious (I think), but I settled quickly on quality time. She wants to do stuff with you all the time, and often physical activities like hiking and climbing. That’s not to say that she likes the less physical activities as well, such as cooking dinner together or watching a movie together. When you’re apart, she’s always eager to send you pictures of what she’s doing and telling you how she wishes you were with her. 

Ashley: I’m a bit stumped on this, but I think it’s physical touch. Holding hands, cuddling and kissing is the way to her heart. She likes when you two do different things together, like reading separate books while entangled on the couch. She likes going hand in hand on late night walks and is definitely a hugger at heart. 

Emily: This one is gift-giving. She loves giving them, as well as getting them. She gifts from the heart, remembering that one time weeks ago when you said you liked a necklace. She adores when she gets the classic romantics like flowers, chocolates and teddy bears. I promise you that she also bought matching bracelets with your names engraved with them. Even better, they go with absolutely everything. 

Jess: I stand firm on this one, and that is words of affirmation. She has always felt like a piece of ass, like an object or just something beautiful for the eyes. She needs to feel like she’s more than that, that you love all her other sides, including her personality. She would melt if you told her how kind her soul is, how passionate and loving you find her. 

Hannah: She also loves gift-giving. It’s never necessarily things bought, but rather small projects and crafts. She gives small loving notes, occasionally writes a poem, telling you how you light up the darkness etc. She also loves getting small gifts like hand-picked flowers and a cute notebook. She’ll display the book on the bookshelf and dry the flowers to make a forever bouquet or small trinkets. 

Beth: This woman is an acts of service person. She’ll drape the blanket over you when you sleep, help you with your eyeliner and give you one of her sweaters when you’re cold. She loves prepping breakfast, making snacks for a movie night and surprising you with a picnic date.

[redsrooftopprincess]

💚 Master Post 💚

✨ASK RULES✨

Asks closed for now. HOWEVER. The Bruiser has agreed to answer questions as long as you follow the rules and aren't a dick. 😁

So you've found your way here! Welcome welcome, from me and the Bruiser. 😁

Here you will find fics and headcanons about Big Red and occasionally the rest of the boys. All the boys, et al, are a combination of a lot of different canons, as well as my own personal headcanons. Visually, however, they are Bayverse because...

(Thank you ILM, for all that you do. 🥵)

I have some spicy stuff, and I do repost things that are spicy. I will do my best to put warnings on anything that needs it, but if you see something that may trigger someone and there isn't a warning, please lmk so I can fix it.

Also, my style will occasionally change. I've never written narratively before now (just some poetry here and there), so congratulations! You get to watch me learn how to write in real time! 😅

That being said, I'm not your mommy (well, not *yours*, anyway 😏), so if you're a minor, GTFO. I'm responsible for neither your trauma, nor your deviancy, and that will not be changing. So either go away or don't get caught.

Anyway, without further guilding of my very tarnished lily.....

Links for joy and pain below the cut!

Character art for Jess (Red's princess), done by @truffle-draws-turtles 🥰

Gravity Fics

Raphael x Reader (Technically)

There is an overall story happening loosely and in out of order pieces that will eventually be cleaned up and combined into one. They are technically written with my OC, Jess, in mind (link to a bit about her below), but I have written them x reader and have done my best to make them gender neutral as much as I can. Expect continuity errors, which is why I'm posting them as individual fics, but they are posted in rough story order below.

Best Friends

Early

Nightmare

Damn it

Kintsugi

Stay

Falling

Nightmare Part 2

Soldier (Fem Reader) Part 1 . Part 2

Sunlight

Assassin (Fem Reader) Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 . Part 5

Coming Home (Fem Reader) Part 1, Part 2

Gravity - Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3

Marked (gn reader)

Other Fics

Pumpkin Sugar Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 . Epilogue (🌶️Fem!Reader)

Sunglasses (Teen Turtles, Bro Fic)

Oneshots

Where There's Smoke 🌶️🌶️🌶️ (AFAB Reader)

Christmas in August 🌶️

Sleeping Beauty

Hot Blood (AFAB Fem Reader) 🌶️🌶️🌶️

Distraction 💜

Hidden Talent

Bird

Awkward

Monster 🌶️🌶️🌶️

Turned Tables 🧡

Crushed 🧡

Poetic Justice

Mountains and Sunsets and You

Rough Night

Valentine (Fem!Reader)

Chills

Demi

Shackles 🌶️🌶️ (FemAFAB reader)

Maybe they have a point

Memory

Headcanons

Disabilities ♥️💙💜🧡

Secret Swiftie ♥️

Sleeping ♥️💙💜🧡

Drugs ♥️💙💜🧡

Witchy Shit ♥️💙💜🧡

Sweets ♥️💙💜🧡

Renfaire (Renaissance Festival) ❤️💙💜🧡

Twinsies!!! ❤️💙💜🧡

Gender and Sexuality ❤️💙💜🧡

AuDHD Reader ❤️💙💜🧡

OC Stuff

Jess, According to Jess! (and Me 😈)

Crush

Asks of my own

Happy Bruiser

Jess Art by @truffle-draws-turtles

....

If you want to be on the tag list, just let me know and I'll add you!

Thanks for dropping by, and for all the love you've been showing my little psychosis.

Much love, from me and the big guy. 🥰

[silentbeaves]

Hi! I'm trying to write a fanfic but I'm lacking on hcs for Petra. I was wondering if you'd be ok if I used some hcs of yours? Either way I rlly wanna know what your Petra hcs are :D

Ohh, this one's an interesting one. I totally don't mind anyone using my headcanons because they're not really that interesting, and I don't have too many headcanons that I keep. They mostly remain as little thoughts and ideas before I brush them away cuz I love to keep to canon, but I can totally share some headcanons that have stuck, and some little ideas I've had here and there.

Might not be super organised, but here:

I love to think that Petra is a huge softie at heart (I mean it's almost confirmed atp but like hear me out), but no one has ever been able to pick that lock in her heart to let it out (until Jesse 🥰🥰 we love you Jesse). The only reason why she's so stone cold is because she's been forced to be within her adventures, and probably had bad past experiences opening up to people in the past. But as soon as you can get past that wall of defence, she's one of the most loyal, affectionate, and caring people you'll ever meet.

I like to think that her love language is a mix of gentle physical touch and lots of gifts. But it takes ages for her to get to that point, even with someone she trusts and loves.

I also like to think that her arm brace thing (idek what it is and I've spent ages analysing her design bro what is this woman wearing 💀) was just for fun at first and to function as a brace during adventures, obviously. But then, after the witherstorm arc, she kept trying to cover her left arm because of a scar that was left from her wither sickness. But, she uncovers it when she feels comfortable enough, mostly around Jesse, because she doesn't feel judged when around them.

Onto the more complicated stuff, the idea that Petra holds onto the past, be it by weapons, armour, or memories, is really interesting to me. Why she does it, I don't know, but from experience, it's either hoarding (lol) or a bad past, where she's struggled to keep what she once had (things like friendships, swords that broke (she loves swords she's such a nerd I bet she could name every single sword in existence), bases/homes) So that's kind of a headcanon I have. It also ties into the whole defence she's built up, so she doesn't become attached to people. But I like the idea that she becomes very attached to inanimate objects, like Miss Butter, because they don't skidaddle off and abandon her, unlike people.

I think that part turned more into an analysis, but do what you will.

Tying into the defence thing, I love to headcanon that she plays herself off as more confident and collected than she really is at times. I feel like it's more obvious in the witherstorm arc, where she's sick in the cave, can barely move, yet tells Jesse and the gang she's fine. She does this, not only to brush off the others from bothering her, but to try and convince herself that she's okay.

I also headcanon that, that defence was lowered within S2, because she had opened up more and learned what friends were. Beforehand, she was probably just some reckless mercenary, doing risky trades and stupid things to get the most out of life. She never really cared for other people, only rewards.

A really huge headcanon of mine that I enjoy delving into is that she developed PTSD and anxiety after the witherstorm arc, but hid it far too well for her own good, for ages. I love to think it all came back to bite her after S2.

EP7 is also really interesting for the whole trauma thing. I don't think she was traumatised by the events too much, but a few things got to her. She has occasional false memories and some minor flashbacks to the time she was chipped. Redstone machinery surprisingly doesn't bother her, though. What does bother her is seemingly sentient machines that talk back to you with a level of self-awareness that is just a bit too uncanny for her. For obvious reasons... Good thing her world doesn't have any of that... until Olivi- Ok, this one's kinda funny but I like to headcanon that Petra wasn't as built in S1 compared to S2, like look at the model difference on the arms dude SHE WAS GRINDING BRO LIKE DAAAAAANGGG

I think I have a pretty obvious headcanon (lol) that she's totally in love with female Jesse. Although she pushed it down during the portal arc, I like to think there were a few times where she went, "dang bro.. she's kinda sweet I can't lie...". And yet before this, she never had any interest in relationships or anything, but Jesse changed her just slightly.

These ones below are more like ideas, not really solid headcanons I have, but I still like the thought of them:

I like to imagine she has a resistance to eating rotten flesh because she had to resort to it so many times during adventures where she's gotten lost, or something. The thought of Jesse trying to down rotten flesh and gagging just by being in contact, while Petra is just munching on it like a snack, is hilarious to me.

Another small idea I looooovee a LOT is that Petra and Lukas were good friends before she met Jesse, Axel and Olivia. She probably trusted Lukas the most out of anyone in her life until Jesse swung around.

I'm not sure how useful any of these headcanons are cuz they're kinda minor and don't really affect much unless you're writing something really specific, but yea 🔥😎

If they're not that useful at all, uhhhh I hope you enjoyed reading miss yappertron 3000 talk about petra (and sorry if I may have repeated myself a few times during my yap, my ah ain't checking this over like it's an actual essay ok????)

ummm Ig that's it, SilentBeaver OUT 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🫡🫡🫡

[bettsfic]

new stuff & changes

i think it's been almost 10 years since i changed my blog colors/theme and 5 years since i changed my profile pic, but it is time. i am no longer Jesse Pinkman but Marilyn Monroe. this specific photo is widely acknowledged as her favorite.

it's been colorized though and i can't find that attribution. but the photo itself was taken by Cecil Beaton in 1956.

i spent a big portion of last year researching Marilyn's life for basically no reason. i just wanted to. and here i am, no longer a person but 10,000 Marilyn facts in a trench coat.

i took an accidental 6 month hiatus from my newsletter, but! i posted a new one this month to celebrate my fifth year as a writing coach.

i also launched an additional substack, unhinged morning pages, where i'll post my writing log, craft analyses, fiction, and personal essays. my lowkey writing-related newsletter will remain free, but unhinged writing pages will have paywalled posts.

if you want to support me as a writer, you can subscribe to unhinged morning pages for $7 a month or $70 a year. at the moment i plan to post 2-3 times per month.

coming up:

my August 2024 writing log (scheduled to post tomorrow on ump).

i'll be opening summer asynchronous @fanauthorworkshop applications and @oficmag issue #13 submissions soon.

i'm working on revising my novella, Coping Skills, to post to ump in 4 parts.

i fully intend to post another lkwrnl in May. whether or not this will actually happen remains to be seen.

as soon as i have H4H out to early readers, i'm pivoting back to fanfic. i've got multiple wips to finish, an anora fic idea, a sunrise on the reaping fic idea, and my FTH fic which i'm jazzed to start working on.

things are happening! just so, so slowly.

[nanawritesit]

Trent Lane Boyfriend Headcanons! (SFW + NSFW under the cut)

(i just finished daria and have major Trent brain rot… but there’s like no content for him so i guess i have to write it myself :p)

SFW:

He writes songs about you all the time (they don’t always make sense but you still appreciate them)

Probably shows his love through physical touch or acts of service because he’s too broke to buy you gifts or take you anywhere nice 💀

He always has an arm around your shoulder, a hand on your waist, or is at least linking pinkies with you. If you’re next to him, he’s touching you in some way

And if you ever need help with chores or a project, he offers to do it for you or help you finish it (which is saying a lot because he’s usually lazy af)

Always gives you his jacket when it’s cold without you even having to ask him :)

Loves to lay his head on your chest and fall asleep after late night gigs… you struggle to roll him off of you in the morning because he sleeps like a log 😭

Calls you his “muse” occasionally

But he mostly calls you a cuter version of your name (like how he calls Jane “Janey,”) or just a simple “Babe” or “Hon”

Most of your dates are at the bars Mystik Spiral is playing at

You’ll hang out there for a while and get pizza afterwards, then probably smoke 🍃 in the tank

He asks your opinion on song lyrics, and you’ll help him brainstorm rhymes

The man is nocturnal so you have a ton of late night phone calls

You’re basically his sugar mama because again, he’s broke and unemployed

You have to reassure him that it doesn’t bother you all the time, in fact he’s *almost* considered getting a job just for you because he loves you that much 💞

(you can call him a deadbeat all you want. i would have no problem supporting my sweet baby girl 😤)

He also gets insecure sometimes that you’ll leave him for someone more educated or successful… you’ll have to explain to him that you don’t care about that stuff and that you love him regardless of it

His idea of a perfect day is just laying in bed with you all day long… he’s big on cuddles, either laying his head on your chest or nuzzling up into your neck :)

Although he also enjoys spooning you, or having you lay on his chest while he runs his fingers through your hair (He’s the best cuddler ever, try to change my mind)

Also loves going to the music store with you, and any other shops you enjoy going to

If you like piercings, you’ll go on piercing dates together :)

If you’re nervous, he’ll hold your hand and talk you through it 💞

Keeping him company while he gets his tattoos

He likes to see what you buy for yourself so he can save up his money to buy you something nice for your birthday or anniversary 🥺

LOVES when you sleep in his t shirts ❤️ He thinks you look so hot

He doesn’t strike me as someone who has a specific type, he just likes whoever he gives with. You could be alternative like him or have the total opposite aesthetic, he just likes you for who you are 🥰

Desperately trying to get him to take care of himself by getting a better sleep schedule and maybe eating a piece of fruit every now and again 💀

Watching Sick Sad World with Jane and Daria

The two of them look up to you because you’re one of the few people they think are cool, they mostly ask you for advice on relationships, school, and resolving their disputes

Jane asking you to help her dye her hair after Daria ruined it 😀

You always encourage her and compliment her paintings, she sees you as a really cool older sister (except not actually because all of her relatives besides Trent are insane)

You try to help them out around the house with cooking and cleaning and buying groceries since their parents are never home

The other guys in the band tease him so hard because he talks about you constantly and always gets so happy when you call :)

Jesse was actually the one who set you guys up, and it makes him so happy to see you together

He keeps a picture of you on the dashboard of the tank just to make him smile whenever he sees it 💞

NSFW: (18+/ MDNI)

Lazy morning sex (even though it’s at like 4 pm) because it’s the best way to wake him up ;)

Having sex in the tank right before a show because he’s convinced he plays better after he fucks you

He’s a switch for sure, mostly because he doesn’t always have the energy to be on top

Really likes long make out sessions where you’re straddling his lap and he can run his hands all along your body

Looooves watching you ride him

But he also enjoys pinning you down and dominating you 👀

The cold metal of his rings against your skin drives you wild, especially when he’s fingering you

Will give you hickeys in the most obvious places because he thinks they look hot

Conversely, he loves it when you leave scratches down his back like you’re marking him as your territory

Listen, this man knows how to EAT 😤 (you’re probably the most nutritious thing he eats tbh)

He loves overstimulating you by making you cum on his tongue and then fucking you immediately after

But he also loves it when you return the favor… he can’t think of any better sight than you on your knees going down on him 😭

He knows that his voice turns you on and uses it against you to turn you on in public (which leads to the two of you running out to the tank for a quickie)

He’s really good at talking you through it 😫

Not super loud during sex, but he does grunt and swear a lot

And when he gets close to finishing he starts letting out some airy moans, mostly saying your name over and over

He’s not *super* freaky but he certainly knows how to show you a good time ;)

[enden-agolor]

hey enden!!

I have a few questions for you in regards of drawing and writing if you wouldn’t mind answering!

Drawing Questions

1. What’s your drawing process like? Do you also freehand big drawings like you do with your doodles/small sketches?

2. What other fandoms do you draw for?

3. Have you ever tried animation? If not, do you plan to try and learn?

4. How often do you draw in a day? do you get artblock frequently?😓

5. What is your FAVORITE art work that you’ve ever made?

Writing Questions

1. How do you stay motivated to write? What keeps you in the zone?

2. Your chapters are always so lengthy, how long do you write for in a day?

3. Before you start writing do you already know what you’re going to write about? or do you make things up as you go/do you go with the flow?

4. Do you already know how you’re going to end your story or does the ending change as you write?

5. When writing for FDAU have you ever ran into some plot holes? If so, how did you fix them?

Sorry if its too many questions, please feel free to answer or not answer whichever ones you feel comfortable with!! I really want to start writing and I’m just having so much difficulty starting it.

Yes, almost all my art is freehanded. I need to actually get better about looking at references and stuff so I can eventually make my art more dynamic and appealing to look at, buuut I’m too lazy to go looking for that stuff.

I used to draw a lot of Kirby fanart a few years ago. I stopped once the fandom began getting way bigger and more toxic… Aside from that, I occasionally draw MLP, Mario, Pokemon, and OC’s from time to time. 

I did animation once before on my Nintendo DSi when Flipnote Hatena was huge back in the day (2010-2013). I stopped after my mom destroyed my DS though. Kind of killed my motivation to animate, let alone draw for many years. I’d like to try again some day. Having adhd makes it incredibly difficult to keep myself dedicated to a single project though. Idk, maybe someday. 

I usually only draw for a few short hours. I just don’t have time to do a ton of art anymore. Art block does come around frequently unfortunately. 

Favorite artwork? I don’t think I actually have one. I don’t really view my art in the most positive way, so it’s kind of hard to choose a favorite. If I had to, maybe that short comic with Admin Jesse? Because I was actually able to find the time and motivation to bring myself out of my comfort zone to color something in full. It was nice. I wish I could do something like that again.

When it comes to writing:

Motivation comes and goes, but knowing I have so much love and support from my readers keeps me going. Some days I’m completely out of it and don’t have the energy to write at all, so I’ll either draw or play a game instead. A big motivation too has always been how lacking the jesskas tag on Ao3 is. Lots of… weird and gross things come out of this fandom, so I really like putting my heart into something that sparks good feelings in people. I like seeing this ship happy and in love, and I now know so many others do too, so I strive to make the content that depicts that. 

Uhh I usually only write for a few hours. Like I just finished about two hours of writing and only got 1300 words in, which isn’t much… I work 8 hours Thursday through Monday and always take a hour and a half nap when I get home to recharge before I pick Andy up from work at 10:30 p.m. That gives me about 3 hours to work on the fic depending on how I’m feeling at the end of the day. I’ll write on my weekends too, but since that’s the most time I get to spend with Andy, I try to spend all my time throughout the day with him rather than alone in silence writing. 

I always keep goals to reach in a chapter. Like scenes I know will be in the chapter, so I just have to figure out how it is that we’re going to reach that point. That gives us a lot of room for Andy and I both to work as much world building, lore, dialogue, etc into the chapter as it plays out. 

As of now, we know how our stories will end. FDAU’s ending will stay the same as it always has. It’s just that lots of scenes building up to that point have been changed to make the story flow better. Not only that, but as the story goes on and the characters grow, there have been lots of instances where we thought characters would act a certain way, but once we reached that point, we re-evaluated the growth and feelings of said character and really questioned if this would be a realistic depiction of their actions. You can’t really force a character to act… out of character for a scene if it doesn’t fit who they’ve become, you know? So yeah, lots of things have changed! 

And surprisingly… We haven’t actually ran into any plot holes in FDAU yet. It has shockingly gone very well. I spend a large portion of my days thinking about the story and constantly thinking about the who, what, where, if’s, when’s, why’s, and all that stuff. I’ve never written anything this complex, and neither has Andy! So it’s super new to us, and we do our best to ensure it comes out well.

[phoenixyfriend]

Hello I am thinking about a Naruto crossover

Primary thought is a genin team of Ahsoka, Fives, and Echo. They are taught by Obi-Wan, because Naruto sticks pretty closely to a fifteen year age gap between teachers and students, with one glaring exception.

Another team is probably Rex, Wolffe, and Gregor. They are taught by Plo.

Kix, Jesse, Hardcase, taught by Alpha-17.

Cal, Merrin, Trilla, taught by Cere.

Idk who's joining Caleb and Hera. Maybe Boba or Omega? Probably taught by Depa, occasionally Zeb helps, but he treats them like tiny adult peers instead of students.

Cody, Fox, and Ponds, taught by Mace Windu

Anakin's already passed his exam so he isn't on one of the event teams, but he was on a team with Barriss (she graduated ninja academy pretty young) and Bly.

Bly was on a team with Aayla, and their third teammate got an early promotion. People were talking about how bb!Anakin needed to be on A Team instead of just apprenticed to Obi-Wan (like Kakashi and Minato), so they added him to fill the spot under Quinlan.

Then Aayla got promoted and Quinlan was needed for deep spy stuff, so Anakin and Bly got reshuffled over to be a new team with Barriss under Luminara.

There's no plot to this other than Vague Chuunin Exams setting, because I'm sure not writing it, but I wanted to make Teams. If I were an artist I'd probably draw the groups, but I am Not.

AND AS ALWAYS

AHSOKA GETS OWL SUMMONS

I wanted Anakin to be Ahsoka’s teacher but he's just too damn young for Ninja Land Standards, they stick pretty close to the fifteen year gap. Smallest exception is Kakashi and Minato.

But Obi-Wan getting lonely as Anakin gets older, and deciding to get a new team where Anakin shows up to "help" every day, makes sense to me.

Also I just enjoy Ahsoka + Dominoes. Default teacher for those two is Rex, but I didn't want to make him THAT much older than Ahsoka, because I like him being Anakin's age group.

So I'm going with Anakin Lurking to teach Obi-Wan's kids dangerous antics.

I think he takes them out on field trips (missions) when Obi-Wan is sick or busy.

(Padmé is on a team from a different village, and her teammates are two of the other handmaidens, led by Typho. Three of the other handmaidens are on another team led by Panaka.)

[sabrinatvband]

Notes on Comic Art #2: To Hatch or Not to Hatch, also some coloring stuff

One of the most influential things I've ever read on the subject of comic art is a piece Jesse Hamm wrote on Alex Toth where he talks about flatpacking.

[I discovered while writing this that Jesse Hamm passed away in 2021. He was a brilliant educator, one of the best in the history of the comics medium, and will be sorely missed.]

In the piece Hamm basically discusses how over-rendering objects usually makes them function worse as comic art. Many other people have discussed how using thicker lines for objects closer to the "camera" is good practice, how colors can seperate shapes and create depth, etc.

The question is, where does cross hatching fit into all of this? Or rather, various methods of adding more detailed rendering to artwork? I'm trying to figure this stuff out as I'm doing layouts for my comic, because I want to know the answers before I start inking the final artwork.

I try/want to have an uncluttered, clean, easily readable art style. I occasionally add hatching to my drawings, because hatching is fun, but I often feel like I've slightly ruined my artwork when I'm finished.

I've decided to look at some of the art that I feel like my own work is trying the hardest to emulate, at least philosophically, to see how other artists "weigh in" on this debate. It's important to remember that inkers embellish artwork [hence the alternate title "embellisher"], and so I'm going to try and find inkers most representative of a given penciller's intentions when applicable.

As I was working on this piece, I read Hamm Tips vol 1.1, and I discovered this diagram, which seems to relate with what I'm going to discuss later:

I think it's accurate to say that my desired approach is Uninflected/Deliberate; I think most people going for a clean and cartoonish look fall into that quadrant. Some people might describe Toth's work as being "clean", and so I should clarify that I'm talking about clean in the spirit of "lines meet neatly".

Some of the artists I'll discuss have lines that fall somewhere between being Inflected and Uninflected, and I think a lot of this comes down to inker approach. I feel like, in spirit, all of these pencillers are Uninflected, but some of the inkers use brushes, which creates a sort of middle ground. Brushes add different weights to a line, whereas crow quill nibs and pens have a uniform width. [The technical term for unweighted inked lines is "dumb line"; I believe this was coined by David Mazzucchelli.]

Let's first look at Adam Warren's work in the Dirty Pair volume Fatal But Not Serious. I'm a huge fan of how this comic looks; the flat, cel animation-style colors are very clean and easy to read. It's a very pleasant look, and I'm surprised more comics don't do this.

There is some hatching here, but it's not "serious" hatching. Just a few lines on cheeks, hands, etc. 98% of the artwork is shapes delinated entirely by a clean line and color. The convention floor panel is able to have a ton of detail without really changing the visual "rules" of the comic. An artist who does things in a more highly rendered way may've, for instance, reduced the crowd to a series of heavily shadowed figures, or colored in a single expressionistic wash to paper over things, etc.

Warren's Magical Drama Queen Roxy used a very similar approach to Fatal But Not Serious:

Let's now look at Rick Mays. I'm not a huge fan of Rick Mays, I've only actual read a single issue of a comic by him, but as I was reading Gen 13 he immediately stood out as being the best artist on that series, aside from Adam Warren himself [speaking only about issues Warren wrote]. It feels very telling that Rick Mays later did the final art for a graphic novel Warren laid out called Livewires.

These are from Gen 13 vol 2 #70:

The biggest difference between this piece has nothing to do with Warren or Mays, and everything to do with the coloring approach. I don't think the coloring here is bad, but the gradient-y colors do create a vastly different visual effect than the cel look I highlighted earlier.

The inking approach feels quite similar between the two artists; while Mays's art takes one or two steps towards realism relative to the Fatal But Not Serious stuff, texture is largely used to the same degree [with the grass and tornado being understandable exceptions]. What's interesting is that this issue has three different credited inkers; Karl Story, Rick Mays, and Jason Martin. I'm assuming this happened for deadline reasons.

I feel like I'm maybe starting to sound a little repetitive, and so I feel like I should share an issue of Gen 13 that I disliked, and then we can move to things that aren't Adam Warren-adjacent. These are from #43 and #44, with pencils by Lee Bermejo and inks by John Nyberg:

I'm not a big fan of this. The borderline chiaroscuro inking makes everything look heavily referenced, labored, and weird, and the "acting" in the comic suffers because of the over-rendered faces. It's a real shame the artwork is like this, because this two-part story is actually quite solid and would be a minor classic with better artwork.

I notice that many newer comic artists [which is to say, people who began their careers during the 90s onwards] put a lot of heavy shadows on figures in a way that feels too slavishly devoted to a certain kind of realism. I say a "certain kind" because the high contrast look of black spots being put onto a figure make the shadows way darker than they'd actually look in real life, so it almost makes the figures look dirty.

Look at comic art from the olden days and figures are largely defined by outlines/color. If a figure in an old comic has a lot of shadow on them, it's for reasons that are obvious and motivated; noir-y venetian blinds stuff, a mysterious villain being obscured, someone being underlit, or having half their face obscured, etc. There's a clear reason shadows are being used in these cases, rather than it being done to add usually unnecessary detail.

Anyways, let's look at Amanda Conner's work. Image on the left is from a Vampirella story called Fantasy Feast, and the image on the right is from Power Girl #12. Texture is used, like on the walls of the bathroom, but sparingly.

Looking at Conner's work in this context makes me realize, I don't think I've ever seen Amanda Conner's stuff colored flat [at least after she fully matured as an artist]. I don't think the more three-dimensional rendering used in any of these panels is bad, but I'm not going to be doing that kind of coloring in my book, and so it's not quite as instructive to me.

That being said, I really love Conner's style. I've noticed that Marvel and DC are increasingly using artists with styles that are broadly similar to Conner's; I've included an example below. Maybe it's because the artist below is too lazy to draw a proper background, but their work feels so much more flavorless than Conner's in comparison. I think it's because the "acting" is not as impressive, and Conner brings a fun-factor that feels completely absent in the page below.

I realize "fun" isn't always the order of the day, but this page doesn't really reflect . . . anything. It's completely bland.

Here's Kirby, who couldn't be bland if he tried. The left image is from the Young Romance collection Fantagraphics put out, and the right is from OMAC. The former is from the 40s, latter is from the 70s. [By the way, the Young Romance image is photographed from my own collection; there's no warping visible because Fantagraphics knows how to design a book].

Looking at these pieces side-by-side really challenges a lot of my assumptions about Kirby's artwork, because in some ways his artwork changed less than I previously thought it did without direct comparisons. There are some things that are more abstract about the OMAC page, like the wiggly shadows. Someone unfamiliar with Kirby might assume these were drawn by two different people, but only because 30-odd years of growth seperate these two pages.

Kirby's style, in my mind, is highly geometric and defined more so by abstract shorthand squiggles than hatching or other forms of rendering, but there actually is a fair amount of hatching on the OMAC page.

However, that OMAC page I believe was inked by Mike Royer, or at least someone using a brush. I noticed that, by sheer coincidence, almost all of the Kirby art from my first post in this series was inked by D. Bruce Barry, who didn't use a brush and also followed Kirby's pencils perhaps more literally than any other inker he ever had. In those images, it's clear that most of the hatching in Kirby's work was added by his inkers.

When Kirby did ink himself [using a brush], his style was oddly clean. He did add in hatching, but it was never particularly dense.

Anyways, I want to close this by including some Jesse Hamm quotes from his instructional PDFs:

-Simplicity is great, but often you need extra texture to seel weirdness.

-Another sign of experience is texture. The pro-level artist has learned to give different textures to grass, hair, tree bark, bushes, etc. Meanwhile, the amateur uses the same one or two shading techniques on EVERYTHING, giving it all a samey feel.

-Open spaces of black or white may be "activated" with a bit of texture. A few pebbles/ripples/etc will spur the mind to fill what's missing.

-We talk often about spotting blacks, but spotting greys (i.e., details/texture) is also crucial to clear compositions.

The lesson in the bit of Hamm writing I most often revisited, the flatpacking post, was that too much texture and rendering can make a comic exhausting to read. But reading more of his work, it turns out he had a more nuanced, texture-inclusive view of things.

What's the lesson here? Discretion.

[mcsm-confessions]

We need more what-book-would-the-cast-read headcanons, stat. Nobody's invented television yet (or perhaps cinemas) so what form of entertainment is both historically accurate and available in-game? Books!

I'll start:

Jesse, as a turbo nerd, loves the heck out of whatever the in-univers equivalent of superhero comics is (knights, not laser beams), owns special editions of the Lord of the Rings, has fun with those campy space-opera sci-fi books and and occasionally picks up the occasional nonfiction book about obscure interesting topics, which her friends will then hear about nonstop for the next week or so. She has a special fondness for Charlotte's Web, which she used to read to Reuben when he was younger. She sometimes leafs through the latest Cosmo in the convenience store magazine rack as a guilty pleasure.

Olivia also enjoys a decent sci-fi novel (albeit less space opera and more hard science), likes murder mysteries, secretly indulges in a few chastely romantic Victorian classics, eats Linux user manuals for breakfast and gets the latest edition of Popular Redstonics mailed to the treehouse every fortnight. She has occasional arguments with Jesse over the organizational system of their shared library, which tends to lapse into chaos when the latter is in charge.

Axel shares Jesse's enthusiasm for superhero comics and is first in the queue to get the newest volumes for the both of them. His memoir and travel literature collection is substantial—his stamp collection sits proudly between—and he secretly reads poetry and has attempted to make his own tentatively awkward verses. He also subscribes to Backyard Demolitionists Weekly in the mail.

Petra doesn't mess with 'stuffy old books written by dead people' (classics), but still rereads Treasure Island and other gallivanting picaresque type novels in her spare time. She digs the Count of Monte Cristo but completely missed the message about the costly and potentially futile price of revenge. Anything history related that doesn't have multiple wars in it is like pulling teeth. She used to secretly look at the Playboys hidden in a chest in her father's room when no one was around.

Lukas is invested in a wide range of literary fiction, from historical novels to the weirder avant garde novellas, and has a soft spot for little felines in his books. He's not the most well versed in philosophy but had a brutal period in his late teens when he discovered Schopenhauer. East of Eden has a special place in his heart for certain familial similarities, but he's never thought to voice that out loud. On the rare occasion that he's really irate he'll burn through a standard slasher horror novel and then discreetly return it to the library. In the future, a whimsical passage in his authorized biography will note that he's one of the few authors who isn't on outrageous (or any) quantities of drugs when writing.

Ivor reads romance novels, the sappiest, bodice ripping Mills and Boons stuff. He hides it under extreme lock and key and would probably vaporize whoever found out about it. It's another thing he has in common with his mother, which he is apparently unaware of. He also composed atrocious poetry in his sulky teenage years, which was burnt long ago. Those Gary-Stu edgy grim fantasy protagonists appealed immensely to him, and was a phase that lasted until he got the chewing out of his life from Ellegaard when attempting the same mannerisms in the lab.

Aiden doesn't read and is proud of it because he's an arrogant numbskull.

~~~

[vannyisinsanity]

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1. Intro:

Hiii!!! - I am a cis woman (she/her) in my late 20s who is a Terrifier enthusiast. I am bisexual with a preference for women, and I am diagnosed autistic/adhd + (I wont be yappin much about this as it gets exhausting to restrict my humanness to labels of any kind.)

This blog is multi-fandom/selfship/yumeship primarily with Sienna Shaw from the Terrifier series. I started self shipping myself with her during Terrifier 3, but I will from time to time reblog some stuff from Terrifier 1 + 2. I also self ship with my other fictional crushes, though not as much. This is a NSFW blog, so please be 18+. Mostly this is just a chill safe space for me to gush mainly about my yandere women boyfriends and occasionally my baby boy wives. I also ship Ronance (Robin x Nancy from ST) and Zadison (Zoe x Madison from AHS) - I might occasionally post about them. One of my current special interests is Teen Titans so I might yap. I have tried to keep it off of this account but it’s spilling over :,).

This is also a safe space for all of MY hyperfixations. I do not like pro/anti discourse and I do not exist to appease you and your tastes or opinions. If you don’t like that, don’t interact. I won’t list all my fandoms, but I enjoy many video games, shows, movies, animes, mangas, horror/gore, fantasy, and science fiction medias. Fiction is often my way to cope and express myself so be mindful of that while interacting with me.

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2. About me:

I like the 80s, anime, writing, making music, oil painting, thrifting, dark room + analog photography, and drawing expressionism + surrealism portraits. I have a weird obsession with clowns. I play a lot of Overwatch, Fortnite, Phasmophobia, Pokemon, and Stardew Valley (I play other things but I play a lot of those). My favorite author is Iain M Banks (I have the entire culture series collection), and my favorite book genre is sci-fi, though I also enjoy horror, poetry, classics, memoirs, mangas, and theology. I am bias to female solo artists like Halsey, Grimes, Lady Gaga, Lana Del Rey, but I also love 80s, witch house, and necrotrap. I enjoy horror franchises like American Horror Story, FNAF, Terrifier, and Halloween. I love Attack on Titan and I am currently collecting the manga box sets. I also enjoy Game of Thrones, but hate what they did to Daenerys. :,) (I will grieve forever). Thai girls love dramas are also cool :3 Stranger Things, Attack on Titan, and Teen Titans get 90% of my attention >>>

I love love love clowns, and if you can’t tell, i’m pretty bias to villains (and or) mentally ill characters. Of course I studied psychology as a result -.- …

Moreover, anything that I post about is fiction. I am not listing all of my ideologies here either, but just know that I believe that everyone deserves freedom, acceptance, peace, and lack of violence/bullying - even the people you don’t like. That being said, I DO NOT agree with any real harm towards others, especially children and animals. Keep that far away from me. Other than that, I have no dni. It’s your life, you do what you want with it. Oh and by the way, I know these mfs aren’t real - that’s the point. Don’t be weird or make this distressing for me.

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3. About my self insert (Sunny Joy Clover):

(Warning, Terrifier [1,2,3] spoilers ahead)

Lore:

T1. - Sunny (my Terrifier s/i) grew up on an affluent farm with her loving mother and her controlling father. In an attempt to get away from familial dysfunction, Sunny's mom moved them to the suburbs. Sunny's mom befriended Sienna's canon aunt Jess Shaw a year after moving to the suburbs (much to her dad's dismay), as he heard about the "trouble" that the Shaw family brings. The move happened the year before Art became active in the area in movie 1. Sienna and Sunny first meet that summer before Art begins to terrorize Sienna. Timeline wise, think of this as the Terrifier 1, before we meet Sienna on screen in the 2nd movie. They spend a bit of time here and there hanging out, but not much. Sunny is mostly seen as a family "friend".

T2. - By the 2nd Terrifier movie, Sunny begins babysitting Sienna's younger cousin Gabby for some extra money. It's that summer that Sienna and Sunny grow even closer. That is until Sienna is sent to a psychiatric hospital (cannon) towards the end of the second movie. She's there for 5 years, until the T3 movie. During that time away, Sunny writes to her for years. In between releases, they tend to hang out and share deep talks. Sienna grows semi-affectionate towards Sunny, as she's the only one that really listens to her. Sienna also sends Sunny these drawings from her sketchbook and entries from her diary. However, Sunny stops writing back just before her 18th birthday. Leading up to this, Sunny is the only one that takes the time to try and understand Sienna. She spends a lot more time with her than the other people in her life who genuinely seem disinterest and "burdened" by her problems.

T3. - Five years later during Terrifier 3 (canon time jump), Sunny's 18th birthday approaches. Sienna is excited because it's the first birthday in a long time that they get to spend together. However, Sunny mysteriously disappears into the hell pit, where she later finds Gabby (who canonically disappears in the hell pit at the end of T3.) Sienna feels sad about Sunny's absence, and assumes she must be better off without her (heartbreaking.)

T4. (TBD) - In the 4th movie (yet to be released), I assume Sienna at least rescues Gabby. However, she also finds Sunny - with nobody having any idea why she was wanted down there in the first place (to be continued.) If they kill my man, I will riot !!!

Family Background: Her mother is named Garden Jane Clover and her father's name is Rain Walter Clover. She has a younger brother named Cloudy who died on Easter Sunday when he was 4 because he drowned - in relation to me irl, this is symbolic of the trauma l began to experience around 3-4, although not written in an entirely personal way. It is written in a way that is expressed through the character in her own original way. Like me, however, this impacts how she relates to love and intimacy. It affects how she makes friends and trusts others moving forward.)

Both Sunny and Sienna can relate to one another, and Sienna deeply understands just how significant taking things slow with Sunny is. She wants to be the one person who doesn't hurt her or judge her for showing up how she is. She'd never leave Sunny the way other people have.

Sunny wouldn't push Sienna away because she shuts down. Sienna would encourage Sunny to let go of those who hurt her, and in return Sunny would teach Sienna how to hold onto what truly matters without sacrificing herself.

Likes: Music, pink, baby blue, yellow, legos, Peter Pan, pirate ships, circuses, victorian dresses, blue jean 90s overalls, bunnies, duckling (pet named Tulip), picnics, tea parties, Alice in Wonderland, horror movies, balloons (especially the orange and purple ones), animatronics like FNAF/Chuck-E-Cheese (idk why but this makes sense), spiders, gummy worms, rainbows, the 4th of july and halloween, clowns, butterflies, stuffed animals, The Sound of Music movie, baking fresh cookies.

Dislikes: Rain, winter (but likes Christmas), fear of water (often seen in a rain coat just in case), sports, ice cream, eating meat, snow, anything that can melt, the color grey, concerts, lady bugs, popcorn ("prefer jelly beans and potato chips during a movie"), rollercoasters, busy cities.

Appearance: Literally me lol - but think lots of clown core/kid core aesthetics. I try to make us very similar, but different enough to be able to insert her into the Terrifier universe comfortably. I like bringing my character to life and writing little quirks that make her “her”.

Current AUs in the works here

Stranger Things AU promo here

^ veeeerrrryyy [clownkisser🤡💋] coded. ~

probably somewhere cleaning my really brave girlfriend’s wounds.——————————————————————————————————

4. List of my (Current) F/O + crushes:

Ultimate/Primary (non sharing):

- Sienna Shaw - Terrifier 3

^ I am completely non sharing with Sienna

No doubles on this one, I beg of you. I will block doubles or AU(s) + fic(s) authors that conflict with mine. I write what I write for the prioritization of myself and my own comfort/expression.

This by no means is me trying to discourage writers and artists from creating original works. I am anti-censorship and encourage you to creatively engage with the media(s) you like. I know I do not own the franchise. However, I’m also not sacrificing my safe space by entertaining conflicting pieces of fiction over my blorbo. Goodbye.

Ship name Clown Kisser -> tag = clownkisser🤡💋

Crushes: (sharing 90% of the time, honestly?):

- Brooke Thompson - American Horror Story 1984

- Scarlett Winslow (Rubber woman) - American Horror Stories

- Clark Kent - DC Universe

- Reiner Braun - Attack on Titan

- Villanelle - Killing Eve

- Vanessa/Vanny - Five Nights at Freddy’s

- Love Quinn - YOU

- Michael Myers - Halloween

- Steve Harrington - Stranger Things

- Angela Ziegler - Overwatch

- Peeta Mellark - The Hunger Game

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5. Comfort Characters:

My 3 favorite non romantic characters are Geronimo Stilton, Bojack Horseman, and Jake from Adventure Time.

I do not ship myself with them, but I have a sickly obsession with them that makes my heart go boom boom boom. They mean so so so so so much to me, the goobers. Look at the mouse in space. Look at the feminist horse. Would you just look at the puppy with a sandwich !!! <3 All of them …..? may be alcoholics…

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6. Sienna Shaw (my man, my man, my man):

List of Sienna canon interests

List of Sienna head canons (I will add as I go)

Also, both me (like actually me) and Sienna have experienced extreme grief. I am drawn to her so much because she has tragically lost her family in her teen/early adults years, as have I. If you’re interested in my very personal grief analysis:

Here is part 1

Here is part 2

Anyways, I love love love my fictional girlfriend who I touch like my boyfriend to da moon and back. If you don’t like horror/gore, complex characters, villains, or anti-censorship - then this blog isn’t for you, and that is okay <3

LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL BOYFRIEND -

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7. Outro:

^ Currently blasting this while kicking my feet in the air giggling over my fictional lover who has anger issues and deep rooted traumas.

PSA - Please feel free to be my mutual/friend. I’m super nice and I really love to talk with & see other self shippers with their F/O(s) !!! Ship & let ship. x ~

- Sunshine ☀️ xoxo

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[admirationandromantics]

Going overboard, Prologue

Okay, so 10 hours early, but I've gotten several requests about the start of the story, so here it is! This has been a big project (still not done with the last 3 chapters...), but so worth it. Remining the readers that this story is 18+ cause of alcohol, smut, drugs (?), throwing up (cause of alcohol, not ed) and other darker themes. Remember that Josh is severly mentally ill, so if you struggle with themes like that, I don't recommend this story.

Some chapters will not feature interactions with him, and some will be longer or shorter, but I'll try to make daily updates, so no worries! This blog is purely for my creative expression, and I don't really want tips or tricks about how to do stuff better, thank you. This whole thing is a way for me to relieve stress and just write without thought. Hope you enjoy, and if you do, please consider following and liking <3

The booze was getting empty, and the night darker. The snowstorm outside had worsened, making the inside of the cabin feel like the perfect cozy place. Emily and Jess had been talking all night about some kind of prank. I don’t know what it was about, and I didn’t want to know. Knowing the lengths they’d go, I kept my distance. During the evening they’d been regularly going away together, whether it was in the bathroom or in the kitchen. They were alone, talking, occasionally giving loud snickers. If Emily wasn’t hopelessly in love with Mike, I would’ve thought she had a thing for Jess. 

Josh is slurring around, mixing up words and almost falling over. He’s basically being carried by Matt from place to place when he wants to go somewhere. Hannah is mixing drinks, leaving them on the counter for everyone. I guess it’s tiring being hosts. Well, not for Josh, but the others. I’m sitting on the sofa with Sam, Ashley and Chris. Ashley seems fine, as she doesn’t get very verbal while drunk, while Sam’s not drinking. She’s sketching on her notepad while talking, and I occasionally look over her shoulder to see the products. They’re gorgeous, every line perfectly in place. I’m mesmerised by her talent, her ability to create something so lifelike. She’s almost like Victor Frankenstein, just a little safer with her creations. She’s drawing Chris now, making sure to add that little glisten on his glasses. I look over at him, then the drawing, then him again. It looks so real. 

“I’m in awe” I comment, looking up at her. She gets a slight blush on her cheeks, clearly not used to such positive feedback. 

“Why thank you” she smiles back at me. 

“Ohhh let me see, let me see!” Ashley shouts, reaching out both of her hands for the pad. Sam complies, putting down the pencil and giving it to her. Ashley blushes as she looks at the drawing, biting her lips in an almost invisible manner. 

“Oh look-” she points at the drawing, holding the pat in front of Chris. 

“She even got some of your freckles” she smiles, still blushing as she looks down on him. Chris doesn’t open his eyes. His head’s resting on her shoulder, and when she nudges him, he gives a slight “mmm” in reply. She gives back the drawing pad to Sam, leaning back so Chris’ head falls in her lap. Luckily she manages to catch his head with her hands, slowly putting him down. He nuzzles into her, and she runs her finger though his hair while breathing out. She’s probably scared he’s going to wake up. 

I turn, giving Sam a look before we both turn to her. The motions make her look up at us, confused. 

“Sooooo” Sam begins. 

“When are you going to ask him out?” I finish, smirking. I can’t help it. It takes a couple of seconds before Ashley realises what we asked of her, and when she does, her eyes widen and both hands immediately go to cover Chris’ ears. Sam grabs my thigh, squeezing a bit to release the energy so she doesn’t laugh.

“Shhhh he might hear you!” she whisper-shouts, looking at us. 

“Oh don’t worry, he’s out cold” Sam teases, grabbing a shot glass and filling it to the brim with tequila. 

“Well, the brain can still recognise things while sleeping”

“Nerd”

“They’re a perfect match”

“Stop it!”

We both laugh, while Ashley’s still pouting. 

“Fine, sorry” Sam continues, giving me the shot glass. I look at her, she’s got a funny look on her face. 

“What is this for?” I ask, taking hold of it and bringing it to my mouth. 

“You seem more present than the rest.” She smiles, nodding to the glass. I drink up, give a grimage and start looking for the lime. 

“There’s no more”, Ashley laughs, and Sam joins her. 

“Asshole”. I move to the kitchen, trying to find some kind of drink to make the shot not come up again. Beth joins me. 

“You look awful”

“Thank you Beth”. She gives me a beer, and I drink it as fast as I can, killing the gross aftertaste. As I look over at her, she gives me a concerning look. I finish up, another bad taste covers my insides, and I run to the sink, feeling like throwing up. 

“Fuck fuck fuck”

“Shit sorry, I didn’t think you would drink that so fast!” Beth exclaims, running to the refrigerator and grabbing some orange juice. As she hands me it, I drink like a feral animal once again, determined to not let this ruin my night. Beth stands behind me, rubbing my back and holding my hair. Just in case. Nothing comes up, and after about three minutes I stand up, giving her a bitch look. 

“Karma’s coming for you Beth, that’s not okay.” She’s still smiling softly at me, whispering for me to follow her. I take her hand, and she leads me to the bathroom. We both sit down on the floor, and I begin to feel my whole body pulsing. Every breath is grand, going to the edge of my fingers. Fuck, I’m going to be sick tomorrow. 

“I wanted to tell you something” she starts, not looking at me. 

“What”

“The others were trying to get you blasted tonight”

“You think I’m naive, of course I know that. Sam never offers alcohol to anyone, and you know how I get”

“Well, yeah. I was kind of in on it”

“I know”, I responded, laughing a little. She looks over at me. 

“You’re not mad?”

“Of course not, just fun, I wanted to let a bit loose on this trip”

“You know we have an agenda?” No I didn’t. I look up at her, her face slowly moving to the side, facing me. 

“And what is it?” She looks down in shame, and I get a weird feeling in my stomach. If this has something to do with Jess and Emily, I’m leaving on the spot. 

“Well, notice how Josh is also…”

“A little out of it?”

“Yeah, that”. Something clicks, a switch, a lightbulb, something, and I rapidly stand up. 

“Wait!” I exclaim, suddenly realising. My body is wobbling, and I grab hold of the wall so I don’t fall. Beth follows quickly, hands in the air around me in case I fall. 

“You’re trying to get me with your brother?!” 

“You like him don’t you?”

“Well Yeah"

“And you’re both drunk”

“So?”

“Drinks of bravery?”

“No”

“Yes”

“Absolutely not”, and I turn to leave. I go out in the hall, but she runs past me and corners me. 

“Okay, listen. Maybe this wasn’t the best approach, but don’t let the rest of the night go to waste, we’re having fun. No pressure on that area, okay? You’re just having fun tonight” she explains, a bit panicked. 

I can’t be mad at her, but I roll my eyes and give her a nudge, not feeling if I hit her or not. I grab her hand, and we both go to join the others. I know myself, and no matter how drunk I get, making a move on Josh is NOT something I will do. Ever. 

As we’re walking down the stairs, the people have gathered in the living room. Matt is on his way to the bathroom, walking past us and smiling. Such a sweet guy. We join the others, sitting down with Josh to my left and Emily on my right. Josh leans over. 

“Hey, want to get a smoke” he whispers, probably so Sam doesn’t hear. I look out the window, getting shivers just from seeing the snow. 

“The weather”

“We can do it through a window.” I look at the others, who are clearly busy. Nobody’s watching, and we could probably sneak out. 

“My room” he whispers, before drunkenly getting up, moving like a penguin up the stairs. He walks past Matt, who’s going down. 

“Need help Josh?”

“Do I look like I need help?”

“Yes”

“No I don’t”

Everyone laughs as Josh continues up the stairs. Hannah looks worried, but ultimately starts sipping her drink again. I don’t know how much time has passed before I decide to go. Emily, Jess and Mike went to the kitchen again, but not before drawing a bunch of stuff on Chris’ face. Nobody notices me slipping away, up the stairs and out of reach. 

I walk through the hall. Josh’s room is at the very end. The hall is spinning, doors getting mixed up. I open one of them, walking into a dark room. Makeup is spread throughout every counter, clothes everywhere. This is not Josh’s room. I drunkenly make my way out to the hallway again, noticing a door beside which is slightly ajar. 

As I arrive in Josh's room, his window is open, cold air flying through the room, giving me goosebumps. He turns around when he hears the door close, looking me up and down and smiling. He’s already got a cigarette in his mouth. I smile back, walking towards him. As I reach for the wardrobe to hold for balance, my hand slips. He’s quick to grab my arm, making a grunting sound when pulling me up. He’s got fast reflexes for someone who’s drunk so much. As I get my balance back, he grabs a pack from his pocket, opening it and letting me pull a cigarette out. 

“Got a lighter?” I ask. He smiles, taking the cylinder off my hand and holding it up to my lips. His eyebrows rise, and I take it as a sign to part my lips, leading to him placing cigarette in my mouth. His hand grabs hold of my chin, pulling me closer. He leans over, letting his burning end touch the end of mine. 

“Inhale” he whispers between teeth. I comply, lighting my own through his. I stare up at him, locking eyes. He doesn’t move away. Instead, his thumb shifts from my chin to my lips, caressing lightly. I’m drunk, he’s drunk, we don’t know what we’re doing. I pull away, away from his face and hand. 

“So we didn’t need a lighter” I say, leaning over to the window and blowing the smoke outside. He stands beside me, leaning over so we’re in the same position, arms brushing against each other. 

“You’re cold”, he tells me, looking up worried. His hand moves to my arm, grabbing. He’s warm, too warm. I sigh when he touches me, involuntary. Fuck. I blush, hoping he thinks my redness is due to the cold. 

“I don’t feel it”, I respond. A lie, but it’s okay. I’ll survive. 

“Damn, drank that much?” he says, walking over to the closet. 

“Not my fault”

“Really”, he sounds surprised. Walking back to me, a flannel shirt in hand. 

“The others are plotting” I state, as I put my hands out, letting him put it on me. When he finishes, he doesn’t button it, but leaves it open. 

“Plotting what?”

“Trying to get us together”

“Really? My sisters’ are in it too?”

“At least one of them”

“Shameless people. Trying to get her brother and best friend together”

“Yeah I know” I laugh, turning away and looking out the window once again. I take a few more drags of the cigarette, using too long, making it almost go out. He starts a new conversation. 

“You know, I thought about asking you out once”. I look surprised at him, he has his signature smirk plastered on. It’s my turn to be curious. 

“And?” He turns to me, looking down, I don’t know if he’s looking down my shirt or on my waist. 

“Well, friend group shit. Didn’t want to fuck it up”. My heart falls a bit, a heavy feeling in my chest. 

“Smart choice” I manage to answer. 

“I guess”. He sounds oddly disappointed, and I force myself to be more forward. 

“Especially since I would’ve said yes”

“What?” he asks, taking my cigarette and throwing it out the window. 

“Hey!”

“It was basically out anyway. But are you for real?” he continues, brows furrowed, and hands grabbing my shirt on each side of my waist. My face gets hot, arms wanting to feel him. 

“Yeah-”. Before I’m able to fulfil my answer, he drags me into him, chest to chest, meeting my lips in a sloppy kiss. Shocked, I pull away, walking a few steps back. I still hold onto the counter for balance, looking at him. He’s breathing heavily, a bit surprised by my response, and a little hurt. 

“Sorry, I got the signs wrong” he says, looking down. I take a breath, calming myself. 

“Is this a prank?”

“What”

“Is this a prank?” I say a bit louder, nearly shouting. Probably I am, I just don’t realize it. 

“Why would you think that?” he asks, a bit angry. 

“Because Jess and Emily were talking about some type of prank and people were getting me drunk and-” I ramble, breathing starting to get unsteady. I’m unsure about how to continue. I’m getting dizzy, needing to lay down. Josh notices. As my vision goes blurry, arms take hold of me, quickly moving me to the bed. My head is pounding, but the room doesn’t spin as much anymore. An arm is holding my head up a bit, and I feel a cold glass touch my lips. Instinctively I open my mouth, drinking the whole glass of water. He lays down beside me, and I can feel myself drifting off. 

When I wake up, it’s still dark outside. Josh is sleeping, so I make my way to the bathroom. The nausea is catching up, and I make myself vomit. Several times. Luckily, this means I’ll probably be spared in the morning. My head feels lighter, in a good way. When I’m done, I drink some more water and brush my teeth. I feel refreshed, and a little happy that was it. I don’t need to be stressed about being sick. 

As I walk out in the hallway again, I hear voices downstairs. They’re still up. I look at the clock, and notice I was only out for about half an hour. I decide not to join them. I’ve gotten enough tonight. As I make my way in the hallway, I notice Josh’s door which I didn’t close behind me. I walk over, looking inside. Josh is up, sitting on the side of his bed with his head in his hands. I walk inside, closing the door behind me. He doesn’t turn. 

“Hey” I say, trying to put on a light tone. 

“Hey”. His voice is emotionless, nothing to analyse, nothing to take from it. I walk over, sitting down in front of him on my knees. He still doesn’t look at me, only right down between his legs. 

“Can we talk?” I ask. He finally lifts his face, looking into my eyes. Before I can begin, he starts. 

“Do you really think I would do something like that?”

“What?”

“Toying with your feelings. Being part of Jess’ and Emily’s schemes?” Now it’s my turn to look down, shame filling my chest. 

“I was so drunk Josh, still am, but I panicked, and spiralled…” I feel a tear run down the corner of my eye. I was not planning on crying, but this night had been more eventful and emotional than most. He doesn’t hesitate to dry them, catching each one with his thumbs. 

“I know, now I’m the one spiralling, sorry” he whispers. I lean forward, hugging him around his waist. He hugs me back. 

“I didn’t mean to pull away”, I explain, not being brave enough to look him in the eyes while confessing. He pulls me away, looking at me. I can’t decipher his face, something hopeful maybe, but not too much. It’s now or never, I must tell him. Before he can ask, I get up, lean forward, and kiss him. He doesn’t back away, instead he grabs my thighs, leading me on top of him, still on the edge of the bed. The kiss is sloppy, as we’re still drunk and a bit dizzy. His hands wander to my waist, grabbing hold of the top of my bottoms. I bite his bottom lip, making him grunt in response. 

“Fuck” he mutters. Grabbing harder, making me gasp. He uses the opportunity to put his tongue in my mouth. I let him. He moves his hands, signalling me to grind on him, and I do. I want him. Bad. My body warms up, the window’s still open, but I can’t feel the cold. As I move on him, he pulls off his own flannel, before dragging my shirt off. I do the same to him. Feeling him up from the lower part of his muscular stomach to his shoulders. My breathing quickens, feeling every curve of his body with my fingertips, trying to memorise it all. He's warm, tense but calm, and I melt into his touch. I lean forward to capture his lips again, and he meets me halfway. I can feel myself getting wetter by the minute, and before I know it, he turns us around, laying my back on the bed, hovering over me. He leans down again, kissing my collar and neck. I can’t help the whines that come out of me. I feel needy, hot. I need him. He stops by my breasts, looking up. 

“Do you want this?” he asks. 

“Yes Josh, please. I want you” 

He smiles in response, and I can’t help but mirror it. 

***

Loud bangs are heard on the door. I wake up with a headache, but luckily no nausea. I poke Josh, making him wake up abruptly, grabbing his head, a painful look on his face. His headache seems worse than mine. 

“Someone’s in the hallway” I say, leaning down and kissing his head. 

“Fuck” he whispers. “Let’s get this over with”

“What is it?” he shouts through the door. 

“Josh, we need you!” I hear Mike shout. “Your sisters are missing!”