#jessica in the background: well... he's done it before

[thatlittlered]

would've, could've, should've | aaron hotchner

warning(s): one whole curse word, smoking, stunning amount of fluff and a little bit of action

GIF by @littlecarmine

part one

part two

author's note: Sorry for the delay, hope it was worth it! I also want to thank the sweet anon for the ask with the Robert Siken poem, which I included here. Next part will be straight-up filthy smut, so stay tuned, fellow sluts.

Follow me @MadeofLilies on Ao3 and let me know if you want to be tagged here.

-.-.-

You don’t see much of each other for the next couple of days. Aaron is on autopilot, avoiding any chance to be alone with you. The rest of the team unknowingly act as a buffer and all he has to do is not look at you during work hours, keep the door to his office shut to not hear your laughter.

It’s a relief when you and Morgan are called to testify in court for a case. You’re somewhere far away for the day, where he knows you’re safe and he can go back to pretending nothing has changed.

The problems start when he’s not being kept busy.

 How much paperwork can one person do?

The stars align oddly in his favor and he’s into calls or meetings until long after everyone else has gone home. When ten pm rolls around, he finally calls it quits but sees no point in leaving in a hurry. It’s past Jack’s bed time, it’d be cruel to wake him up now and carry him back home when tomorrow’s Sunday. If all goes well, he can pick him in the morning and they’ll get to spend the day together.

His finger is hovering over Jessica’s number when he spots your name in his call logs. It’s silly and childish, but he hasn’t thought of you in a couple of hours and God.

Deep down, he knows he’s been incredibly unfair to you. He had to. Had to tell himself it was something outside of him causing him torment. An obstacle to overcome, a distraction to ignore. He had to act as if you were forcing your way into his life in order to be able to put up walls, but what have you really done except exist near him? He is the one to blame for allowing it to grow beneath his skin; succumbing to his need for some sort of intimacy when he could have -should have- nipped this at the bud a very long time ago. He recognized it within himself the other day, when he realized he could have -should have- kissed you.

But nothing is healed with a kiss. Only new grievances arise.

It’s where you go from there that matters and he finds himself unable to guide or be guided.

Where do you go from here?

When he decides to feed his insomnia with a cup of late-night coffee, he is yet again reminded of you. So, he calls, but you don’t answer and he pours another, completely indifferent to the idea of sleep.

It’s getting too late to be here, even by his standards. He tries calling again, but, no answer. He gathers his stuff to leave and there is a horrible feeling at the pit of his stomach when he settles inside the car. It’s only eleven and you always say you never sleep this early.

Another call, this time to Emily, who miraculously, picks up.

“Hello? Hotch?”

There is a deafening buzz in the background; loud voices and music blasting.

Aaron apologizes for the late hour and tries to be discreet when he asks about you. Says he needs to go over something about a case file but you won’t answer his calls and he got worried.

“Yeah, she’s fine, she’s right here with me, but it’s a little hard to get her right now. Is it urgent?”

“Uh, no, don’t bother her. Is everyone else there too?”

“Not everyone, just the two of us, Garcia and Morgan. Do you need them as well?”

You didn’t invite him, why would you? He would have never said yes.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

“Sorry, sir, I can’t make out much with all this noise. We’re at the ‘Matter’ if you need us. I’ll tell the guys to call you as soon as they can, okay? Have a good night.”

So, he drives two miles a little before midnight to come sit outside ‘Matter’, which is apparently a very busy nightclub downtown, half a mile away from the nearest parking spot he could find.

He doesn’t really know why he came.

He can’t come in and join you. Can’t ask for you.

They probably wouldn’t even let him in while dressed like this.

It’s very unclear what the next step is.

He knows it’s pointless to call you again when you’re probably too busy dancing and drinking with a great many people who are not him. Morgan has some trouble keeping his hands to himself when he drinks.

He sits on the curb of the street, cracks open the pack of cigarettes he snack out of the car’s glove compartment, always hidden below the insurance papers. Astoundingly loud music plays every time the doors to the club open and people come out stumbling, kissing sloppily and dragging each other away.

He just wants to see you and put this horrible feeling inside him to rest.

“No fucking way.”

He jolts at the sound of your voice and throws away the cigarette, putting it out with his shoe before he turns to see you standing outside the club. You approach timidly until you can be sure it’s him and when you step closer to the streetlight, he can really see you. The clothes you could never wear to work, the shoes you apparently spend all your money on. You’re beautiful.

He can’t possibly move until you’re sat beside him. For the first time in what seems like forever, now that he’s grown so used to it, you keep a very respectable distance between your bodies.

“You didn’t have to throw it away; I already saw you and,” you pick up the abandoned carton from the sidewalk and almost laugh at how immaculate it looks just having been opened, “I have so many questions. Since when do you smoke?”

His voice is quiet, unamused.

“Almost never.”

You look at him curiously and he thinks you would make a great interrogator simply by the way you make everyone around you spill their souls out if it will satisfy you.

“Sometimes when I’m very stressed.”

You hum, “I never would have guessed that.”

He laughs to himself and looks at his hands.

“Yeah, I’ve been doing a lot of things that are not typical of me lately.”

You help yourself to a cigarette and he cups his hand over yours when the breeze makes it too hard to light up.

“Is that because of me? Am I a bad influence?”

“No. It’s me, I’m the common denominator.”

You hum again and smile at him teasingly in an attempt to lighten the mood, “Breakthrough.”

“So, this is what therapy is like?”

He wants to thank you, for always trying to make things as easy as possible for him. You open the door and difficult as it may seem, all he really has to do is walk through it.

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t smoke in session.”

“Oh good.”

You’re sitting closer again and Aaron doesn’t know how. He doesn’t think either of you moved. He keeps his eyes on the road in front of him, glances at you only from the corner of his eye. Your perfume mingles with the smoke of the cigarette and it’s all a haze to him.

“Why are you not inside?”

“I needed a breath; it was very loud and packed in there… and I finally saw your calls.”

He hums, unable to find anything else to say.

“Why are you here?

“I don’t know.”

He knows that is not a good enough of an answer.

“I always have this terrible feeling that something is going to happen to you.”

Your shoulder touches his and he can admire the smoothness of it, focus on each mark there to avoid the dreaded eye contact.

“Do you think that fear is reasonable, or is it rooted in something else?’

His eyes shut tightly, “Don’t do that, please. Don’t talk to me like I’m a subject.”

“You use your ‘agent tone’ all the time outside of work.”

His voice deepens, “I am aware.”

Heavy breathing.

“I’m sorry I did all that and then backed out at the last minute.”

“It’s alright. I think I knew you would.”

“See, that’s even worse.”

You look at his suit, the wrinkles that have formed in the shirt underneath from the hours of wear.

“Did you come here straight from the office?”

A sigh, “Yeah.”

You nod your head in understanding and move to put out what’s left of the cigarette.

“I’m alright. I’ve got the others too; they’ll take me home. You can relax now.”

“I don’t think I ever can.”

You don’t know what to say really. If what he needs is time, you can give it, but he seems undecided as well when he picks up your hand.

“I think I’m scared of what will happen once the line is crossed.”

A confession.

That, you did not expect.

“Aside from the complications at work, I just,” his hand rubs gently on the spot your watch has left its mark, “I have proved time and time again that I can’t handle any relationship beyond professionalism and once we stop being just colleagues, I will lose you completely from my life.”

“Do you think that line has not been crossed already?”

He laughs quietly.

You can both feel the bouncer looking at you and Aaron is suddenly aware of how vulnerable he is right now.

“I guess it has.”

You’re both quiet for a little while.

“I have to go back inside now, or they’ll start getting worried.”

He looks like he’s about to say something, but no words leave his mouth.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell them you were here.”

That hurt. You know it, but what else was there to say?

“Maybe tomorrow you’ll know.”

You give his hand a reassuring squeeze before you leave and he’s left staring while you go back inside.

-.-.-

A little past two, the girls drop you off in a shared cub before going their separate ways and you rush to your apartment building, only to find Aaron waiting there.

“Well, you certainly have a thing for sitting on curbs.”

He looks tired, so tired, and alone in the empty street. It’s very hard to maintain your position when he always looks this beaten down in his most tender moments. You wish to care for him, love him back into happiness but that wouldn’t be fair.

Still, you can’t help but go to him and he is relieved that you sit closer this time.

“Have you been waiting here this whole time?”

“It hasn’t been that long.”

You softly take his right hand to look at his watch. His body relaxes at the touch.

“Huh.”

“Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah, but I’m a little more drunk than the last time you saw me.”

Your skin glows under the soft moonlight and he notices.

It is technically tomorrow now.

“How drunk?”

His face moves closer and you can’t help but shiver at the sudden change. His breath is warm on your face. The words come out in a whisper.

“Not that much.”

That’s all it takes.

His lips press against yours once… then twice and then… he doesn’t stop.

You always thought he’d be one to kiss carefully and with absolute purpose, just like he does everything else, but he kisses like a man on fire. He seeks to quench something deep inside of him and you provide happily. The remnants of your lip gloss tingle on his mouth, as if kissing you alone is not enough of an awakening.

It’s becoming increasingly hard to keep up with breathing when he envelops you so, and cages you in the pleasant whirl of his scent. When you break away for breath, he’s quick to capture you once more. His hands come to your face to keep you there until he’s had enough, but how he can he ever have enough of you?

He only lets you go because he has to. You’re both practically panting and he can’t decide what to do. He wants to kiss you, look at you, touch you, but it cannot all be done at once. When your own hand comes to his face just below his jawline, he melts under the touch. His eyes are sunken, his body is begging for rest, but it would not come without you.

“Do you want to stay with me tonight?”

His voice is low and breathy when he nods.

“Yeah…”

-.-.-

You walk upstairs, hand in hand, and Aaron can see your own exhaustion is taking over. Something started with that first touch. Your bodies wish only to find comfort near each other.

His breath is warm on your neck while you open the door, his hands softly placed on your waist with the excuse of keeping you steady. When you move to take off your shoes, he is behind you again, as if tied to you with invisible thread, and holds you gently by the elbow when he sees you struggling.

You’re suddenly very aware he is in your house again. Touching you.

“Can I get you anything?”

He shakes his head no, but you’re too focused on the way his hand moves languidly up your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake, before tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Do you need me to get you anything?”

He is so caring. So soft below the austere guise.

“I just need to take a shower,” you almost stumble backward and he thinks it’s the alcohol, but it might just be the feeling of his hands on your face, “I must have fifty different people’s sweat on me right now.”

“That’s okay. I’ll wait.”

His voice is soft – tired.

You turn on the lights for him in the living room and he gives a half-smile when you check on him again.

“I won’t be long.”

Once left alone, he gets to look around your house. He sees your carefully assorted nick-knacks and smiles at the framed pictures all over your bookshelves. He can’t help but notice you’ve chosen one, if not the only, photo of the team that he’s also part of.

He is important to you too.

He can see you in every corner of the room, in the books you buy and the realistic-looking-but-admittedly-fake plants sprinkled here and there for a lack of time to take care of any real ones. He can even see you in the soft material of the couch when he sits and lets his cheek touch the fabric. He has been here before in a dream, with your head in his lap.

The room is awfully quiet save for the gentle ticking of the clock on the wall and the sound of running water in the background. For a man that’s usually so good at sitting alone with his thoughts, he suddenly can’t stand it.

He knocks gently on the bathroom door and opens it slowly, only to be hit with the dizzying cloud of warm steam. Your head peeks behind the shower curtain and he can tell you got tired of standing and sat in the tub instead.

“Is it okay if I sit in here with you?”

You thought he’d sit on the toilet seat, but he crawls to the edge of the tub and sits on the bathmat with his back to you.

How close is close enough?

Now that he’s ventured, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be satisfied.

So, he closes his eyes and rests his head back on the, now warm, porcelain.

“Aaron.”

He doesn’t know if he actually fell asleep, but the water is now turned off and you’re looking at him. He realizes now, for the first time, that you’re naked behind him. Your hair and eyelashes are angelically wet, the sheen of water on your flushed skin is divine. He knows that you’d be warm if he touched you now.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.”

You smile at him -siren- and your hand grabs a handful of his shirt, staining it with water that reaches his body underneath and makes him shiver. You kiss him with plump wet lips and he reaches for you. His hand entangles in your hair until you’re both practically pulling at each other.

A less enamored man would have broken away just to sneak a peek at your bare skin, but he won’t. He is respectful even now, even like this.

“I should have kissed you the other day. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

It’s a whisper when his mouth leaves yours, but you catch it.

You hum, eyes glossy, “Would've, could've, should’ve.”

What matters is now.

He kisses you again – just one more time. You both feel like giddy, lovesick children.

“Can you hand me my bathrobe?”

The bathrobe is also impossibly soft to the touch and when you emerge clad in it, he thinks he’d like to hold you. The spell of the warm steam is broken outside, however, and being so close to your naked body suddenly becomes very serious.

You let him sit in your bed, still fully clothed, save for his suit jacket, and he closes his eyes again. The comforter underneath is lovely.

Is everything in this house soft?

Is this what it feels like to be loved by you?

You disappear inside the walk-in closet and reappear, now properly dressed in your pajamas. The bed dips when you sit next to him and he turns to you completely.

“I have a T-shirt you can sleep in, don’t know about pants though.”

Please. Just be here, with him.

He watches you leave, but it’s not long before you return with the aforementioned shirt. You laugh when he finally realizes he’ll have to sleep in his boxers.

“Don’t worry, I won’t take advantage of you.”

He throws a teasing look, but can’t possibly come up with a clever answer right now.

“I’ll go dry my hair and you can get dressed, alright?”

You are so gentle with your guidance that it makes him feel like a helpless child, but there’s a hidden relief at that. It’s nice; being cared for like this and there is something to be said about parallels, with you going now to do as you had done a week and a half ago in a Florida hotel and him waiting for you – on your bed.

It’s the same, but it’s different.

He hangs his work clothes carefully on the chair in the corner of your room and goes to sit on the bed, but feels too uncomfortable to climb under the covers. He knows you’d find his duality funny; how he goes from hungrily kissing you to being too embarrassed to join you in bed, even if it’s only for sleep.

You notice his stiffness when you come back in the room, but don’t say anything. It’s not exactly easy for you either, you’re just better at hiding it than he is. You choose to lead by example instead and turn off the lights before reaching for the one on your nightstand and climbing inside your bedding.

He only speaks to deflect attention from him again, “You have a TV in your room.”

“Jealous?”

He turns to look at you and you’re perched up on the plump pillows, smiling at him. Your hand reaches for his own over the comforter and you gently pull him to you.

He comes, of course.

“I don’t watch a lot of TV.”

“Of course you don’t.”

He joins you with his back on the pillows and his shoulder touching yours, but he’s still too stiff.

“What do you watch?”

“Mostly reruns of sitcoms-,” he laughs at that, “-Seinfeld.”

“Isn’t that show a thousand years old?

“You would know.”

He laughs again and you can almost make out a wounded pout on his face, but a kiss is enough of a cure. His shoulders relax and he gives in to the warmth and softness; be it the bed or you next to him. You can tell he’s barely managing to stay awake, but he still can’t let go completely. His head slumps backward again.

“Can we turn it on?”

You find the courage to caress his hair, admiring the softness of it and the discreet sprinkle of grey that you can only see up close.

“If you want.”

The quiet humming of the television and your breath in his ear, putting his mind to ease, are enough for him to finally sleep and you’re not long behind. His head is turned to the side where you are, hand tightly holding yours.

Later in the night, when you stir in your sleep, he pulls you further into him – wraps his arm around you completely and doesn’t let go.

next part

[anghraine]

Further contemplated the femslash Spirk concept while I was going to sleep, inevitably, and concluded:

I am perfectly aware this has been done before in the last, you know, nearly 60 years of this ship's towering fandom influence; I've definitely seen art and cosplay. However, I'm deliberately insulating myself from reading any other versions until the finer details are more nailed down in my own head.

McCoy is definitely still a man (specifically DeForest Kelley c. TOS) because it only later occurred to me that 1) thematically, I definitely prefer this trio as a mixed gender group and 2) the advocate for emotion and instinct and human warmth being a male doctor and the voice of logic and discipline being a woman and technically his superior pleases me greatly. I also like the McCoy-Kirk brotp as a male-female friendship that is intense, complex, and 100% platonic.

I'm still figuring out how Kirk being repeatedly menaced by the woman of the week would pan out with f!Kirk. With m!Kirk it feels like the show pushes him having an irresistible appeal to women in general (regardless of the woman's morality) that is where this ultimately comes from, but he's got a lot of Odysseus tropes to him as a character that make his femme fatale allure and willingness to use it as a tool more interesting than as the inevitable fate of a female space captain. Also, even in a femslash context, it feels homophobic for it to always be women sexually harassing f!Kirk.

Kirk's going to be Jessica instead of my original idea of Deborah. I was thinking of what would be a sturdy, ordinary name in the Midwest comparable to James that would also abbreviate conveniently to a common short form (Jim / Deb / Jess). I wanted the shortened version to be something that could carry the emotional weight of Spock's very occasional "Jim" without feeling that the nickname itself is more significant than Jim is for a dude from Iowa. I also wanted to avoid the -y/-ie endings of so many English nicknames (sorry, Francophones). Deb seemed to work well enough, except I'd forgotten that I have a considerably older family friend who not only uses Deb (and is named Deborah) but happens to have very similar coloring and background to young Shatner. As I was plotting the femslash, the association with her felt increasingly weird and uncomfortable, so I switched to Jessica (chosen for reasons largely unrelated to it also beginning with J, but that helps!).

Does Jessica Kirk wear the miniskirt and go-go boots while issuing non-negotiable orders from her captain's chair? Definitely.

[exhaslo]

Since Puzzle Pieces is a favorite piece of mine from your writing could you dk like a mini side story about reader and mafia!miguel raising a family together especially with reader navigating finding herself

MORE SIDE CONTENT!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOO

Warning: Minors DNI, some smut, mentions of sex, mentions of murder, mentions of bullying

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"Mama, mama, mama! Wanna play at park, please, please, please?!"

Unable to resist the adorable look your oldest son was giving you, you caved.

"Alright, sweetie. Why don't you pick out an outfit while I call daddy to let him know, okay?"

You smiled brightly as the toddler cheered before running off to his room. It has been a few years into your relationship with Miguel and you couldn't be happier. The two of you had three beautiful children...and counting according to Miguel.

Your oldest son, Gabriel, was four; the second child, Gabriella, was two; and the last child, Kron, was only a few months old.

Humming lowly as you took your two youngest children to your room, you placed them on the bed before calling Miguel. Ever since your children were born, Miguel took extra caution whenever you would go out.

It was thanks to an incident when you and Lyla went out for some clothes shopping when Gabriel was about five months old. One of the other mafia families had the nerves to kidnap the three of you for ransom. Miguel did not take it lightly and ended up killing that new form mafia family.

"Hey, Miggy, I'm taking the kids to the park. Little Gabriel was just too cute to say no too," You said with a giggle.

"Aye, mi amor (my love), you must show some restraint with him."

"I know, I know."

"I'll send some men over. How are you doing today?" Miguel asked, wanting to make sure his wife was in good health.

"I'm okay, Migs-"

"AHHHHH PLEASE!"

"Are you okay? Another mafia group bothering you?" You asked after hearing the screams in the background. Miguel just chuckled softly,

"Not reason a bother, more like an insect. But don't worry, mi amor, they will be squashed in a moment. After I'm done here, I should be able to go home early."

"Maybe you could join us at the park, hehe," You said with a smile as you finished changing Gabriella.

"Daddy!"

"Yes, Gabi, your daddy might join us~"

"Now I have to finish early. I'll see you soon."

With that, Miguel hung up. You continued to change your youngest before laughing at how Gabriel dressed. Once finished, you had to fix your oldest clothing. With the three finally ready to go, you waited for Migue's men to appear.

You loved Miguel. He was still ever so kind and gentle with you. Your stuttering had calmed down with his help, although, you do get the occasional nerves, especially with new people. If anything, your children were the biggest reason for you to try and get better.

You wanted them to look up to you. Miguel was not only a powerful mafia boss, which the kids won't know about, but also one of the world's most powerful CEO. Compared to Miguel, you were just a small little bunny.

The thought made you sorrow. You wanted to do something with your life as well, but what? You've spent a good portion being bullied and ridiculed by both your parents and your ex boyfriend. Hell, if it wasn't for Miguel, you might not be here.

"Mama, the Peters are here!" Gabriel cheered.

Chuckling lowly towards your son's cute group name, you opened the door for the Peters. Jessica was there as well and greeted you and the small children.

"Hey, how's everything going?" You asked, wanting to get your mind off of your failures.

"Good. My kid's causing a ruckus in school every now and then. Wished, he got more of his father than me," She said with a laugh.

"Awe, I don't even want to think about sending Gabriel to school. I'll miss him too much!"

"Girl, with how Miguel is, he'll give you another baby." Jessica said with a wide smirk causing you to blush.

Miguel would.

--------

You were tired. You were sitting on one of the park benches, watching Kron as your other two children played. The Peters were watching the two children like a hawk while Jessica helped you with your youngest. Even with the help, you felt drained from other parents watching you.

It brought you back into your thoughts of what you wanted to do with your life. You had been through so much trauma that you could write a book, but would anyone read it? Would it be too depressing for other people?

"Excuse me, are all these men with you? You're making the other parents feel uncomfortable," A woman spoke while approaching both you and Jessica.

"O-Oh," You flinched, "S-Sorry...um-"

"Her husband worries a lot. They are her and her children's bodyguards, do mind yours." Jessica huffed.

"Well, it's still making everyone uncomfortable!"

You felt your heart sink. You couldn't even stand up for yourself against other parents. What were you going to do when your children went to school?

"My apologies, then perhaps we shall find another park for our children to play at."

Miguel placed his hand against your back, smiling casually towards the irate woman. It was instant that the parents gasped upon realizing who Miguel was. They immediately said it was fine as people tried to approach Miguel.

"And here we go," Miguel said with a heavy sigh. You smiled towards your husband,

"I'm sure the kids played enough for today,"

"DADDY!!!!"

"See?" You giggled as the two children ran towards Miguel.

Miguel laughed as he picked up his children. His loving gaze towards his family made you swell with joy. As long as Miguel supports whatever you want to do, you will be happy. Hell, knowing Miguel, he would make everyone in his mafia to buy your book, puzzle or whatever you do.

"Ready to go home?" Miguel asked his kids. They whined in response, "Mommy and Daddy have important work to do."

You felt your cheeks warm up as you looked at Miguel in protest. Using sex as an excuse for important work was going to get old eventually. You whined in turn as your children agreed to Miguel's ridiculous lie.

--------

"Tell me, (Y/N), what's been on your mind lately?" Miguel asked with a hum as he pressed your body against the bed, his cock reaching the deepest part of your gummy walls.

"M-Miggy, n-no fair," You whined as he held your legs over his shoulders, "I-I can't think...l-like this."

"Sure you can,"

With a thrust of his hips, you gasped and moaned his name. Your body melting against his touch and pussy clenching around his dick. No matter how many times Miguel would fuck you, it still brought you to nirvana each time.

Whimpering as Miguel's thrusts grew faster and rougher, you couldn't hold your voice back. You arched your back, whining and moaning as Miguel slapped against that sweet spot of yours.

"There's my little bunny. Wanna tell me what's wrong, amor?" Miguel whispered in your ear as he pressed you into mating position.

"Mhm~" You wanted to protest, but how could you? "I-I...ah~ I want...t-to do something...mhm~ with my l-life-"

"Amor,"

Miguel whispered softly, pulling you in for a kiss as you confessed. His thrusts were slow and sweet as he held you closely.

"Hah~ Ah~ M-Maybe...I...I could w-write a b-book."

"I'll support whatever you do, (Y/N). Just say the word and it's yours."

"Mhm~"

You wrapped your arms around Miguel as the two of you continued your 'important work'.

--------

Once all of your children were asleep, you sat in the living room, typing away on a laptop Miguel bought for you. Miguel approached you from behind, placing a cup of hot tea on the table. You smiled as he took his spot beside you, kissing your shoulder.

"Have you decided what you want to do?" Miguel asked softly. You rested your head against his,

"Well, I want to write about what I went through. Maybe...it will help other people try and get out of their similar fate....and I want to make learning puzzles for kids."

"Hm, seems like my wife has a busy schedule ahead of her." Miguel's arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you onto his lap, "Just let me know and I'll help anyway I can."

"Thank you, Miguel." You titled your head and kissed him sweetly, "I love you."

"I love you more,"

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I hope you enjoyed! Puzzle Pieces is always fun to write! Also, you all might like my new series:

Over-Time

@migueloharacumslut @18lkpeters @deputy-videogamer @leahnicole1219 @synamonthy @thedevax @jolynesposts @thraetor @freehentai @2099hitmylineyline @vvampir3s @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @secretadmirerisnowonline @jadeloverxd @bunnibitez @oharasfilipinawife @randomgoosegame @lilbanas @daisy-artfield @axi-moore @mimiemie @darkfairy102190 @jazzyj1011 @mcmiracles @innercreationflower @spoderssimp @thel0velykey190 @moonvoidpng @yougavemeyourheartyouknow @scaleniusrm @love4saturn @nyxgoddessofchaos13 @slutty-chronicles @ghstypaint @migueloharastruelove @brainmatterdump @a060403 @trendyharold @yannauauau @kimivixen @angel-xx-1 @nxrdamp @miguelzslvtz @lynxslokley @wafflefries786 @pochapo @what-the-jams @flaps200 @ii-angelsrolltheireyes-ii @nakimushiohime @tojishugetiddies @aya-world @supercowgirl04 @mysteris-things @daisy-artfield @mcmiracles @alexa4040 @llama--drama @kpopscoups17130000 @havkjhdecs @ruexvn @tojishugetiddi @openup-yourmind @black-swan-blog27 @xstarsdiary @kiddisquacking @gachagator @yujyujj @emmyrxx @blackteamint @sockears @black-swan-blog27 @soraya-daydreams @byjessicalotufo @nanoinn @bunnibitez @aockskcw @l3laze @dimitri-needs-therapy

[the-blossica-fan]

*breaks through door*

I AM BECOME THE BUNNY'S ANTITHESIS

Well. That was depressing to read. Do they have nothing to do than to torture characters 😭 /lh

Instead, how about imagining something nice like. Idk. 😭

Noire meeting Jessica and Blonney ^-^ (since Blonney most definitely would know about Noire I bet)

Here comes the other side of paradise/silly

Sometimes life needs angst to balance the silly *looks out the window with a sad copyright free music playing in the background*

If you remember that line from Horropedia where he mentioned "Many brilliant playwrights are Arcanists"? Yup, Noire is included. And I'm so sure Blonney had seen one of Noire's films when she was a child, considering her times are similar to Liang Yue's.

Noire's films have done WONDERS for the Arcanists, said in the story if I'm not wrong. She's the best Arcanists filmmaker after all.

So, It's not strange that a movie geek like Blonney would lose her shit once she realizes she's in the same suitcase as THE filmmaker Noire in the flesh. Think of Kakania meeting 37 and 6 as a reference.

Jessica is more than happy to follow Blonney along with her fanatics, even if she doesn't truly know who Noire is. She may have seen a film or two because of Blonney, but it's nothing revolutionary. When Blonney says she wants to meet up with Noire, who's Jessica to say no?

It wasn't easy getting some alone time with Noire, she IS famous, so those from the 80s to the 90s certainly know about her, and her approachable aura makes it so enticing to go and talk to her and get an autograph. But I mean, Jessica would do anything to get Blonney what she wants, even if that includes turning into Vertin to get privileges.

Either way, once Blonney finally meets face to face with Noire, trust me, words are flying around like crazy.

As I thought about this, Blonney does act quite similarly to Noire when she was younger, with the filming interest and that slightly mean personality (but more tuned down now than before), so she can't complain about this. Not like she would.

Shame for Jessica who ended up being the third in that conversation. Noire explained film stuff, Blonney talked about her interest in movies and also Noire's movies, more stuff about filmmaking that Jessica doesn't get.

Jessica during the conversation: 🧍‍♀️

Either way, it does end up with Blonney becoming an intern in Noire's crew and Jessica getting to act in more professional movies. Maybe Noire will become the mentor Blonney couldn't have before (Not to be confused with motherly figure, that's Tooth Fairy)

[lovelytsunoda]

love is a losing game | cumulative authors notes

Welcome to the final chapter of ‘Love is a Losing Game”! Before I release the grand conclusion, I wanted to share the ideas and the inspiration behind a venture that made me feel like I was back in my Wattpad era.

When I first got the idea for this series, I had just finished watching the second season of Bosch: Legacy on Amazon Prime. I’ve loved cop shows since I was a kid and Bosch is as good as it gets. I also found myself drawn in to one character in particular: Detective Kevin Long, portrayed by former Days of our Lives actor Guy Wilson (who also recently subbed in for Jonathan Jackson on General Hospital). I admit, there was nothing redeemable about that character whatsoever, but his sad eyes and chest of tattoos captivated me. It got me thinking, since there was little background insight given to Kevin Long as a character, what if he wasn’t a bad guy at all? (Delusional, I know. He was so far past saving) What if he was desperate to protect the people that he loved? When I went back and started rewatching Bosch from the beginning, all the layers came together, and suddenly I had created so much lore going back to the very beginning, and I didn’t know what to do with it.

I was gasping to write fanfiction. A full bodied series, something that I haven’t done since my Wattpad days. I had all these thoughts and plot points, and they were consuming me. But I knew that if I wrote it for Bosch, nobody would read it. I’d call it a dead fandom, but that implied there was a fandom to begin with outside of sub reddits. and then I had another idea.

What if I kept the storyline the same, but changed the fandom, drawing inspiration from Bosch but creating something bigger? And so Love Is A Losing Game was born. Kevin Long became Jake Seresin, and Titus Welliver's maverick devil-may care detective Harry Bosch became Pete Mitchell (same character different fonts! you can't go one episode without someone saying 'fucking bosch') Jerry Edgar became Tom Kazansky, and lawyer Honey Chandler became Penny Benjamin. I didn’t originally want to make Bradley the evil Don Ellis (who I once saw described as 'evil James Hetfield'), but I was running out of characters to sub, and something about the power cop duo of Jake and Bradley spoke to me (and Bradley and don have the same moustache). See my diagram below for who plays who:

Included but not pictures is Mickey Garcia as Detective Rondell Pierce, Javy Machado as Officer George Irving and Ron Kerner as Detective Santiago “Jimmy” Robertson.

(Early chapter readers may note that before proofreading, some chapters had errors where I had typed so quickly, my brain moving a mile a minute that I wouldn’t realize I’d typed in the names of the Bosch character I used for inspiration instead of the character it was supposed to be. I’d be embarrassed every time, but at the end of the day I only garnered like 20 readers and just hoped they wouldn’t notice)

Fun fact about Bosch! Honey Chandler is played by Mimi Rogers, who was married to Tom Cruise before he met Nicole Kidman! Other stars include the late Lance Reddick, Matthew Lillard, C Thomas Howell and Anthony Michael Hall. Maggie Q is also set to star as Renee Ballard in the new season, as well as a spinoff about Ballard as a character.

Jessica’s story is so meaningful to me because it’s about growing from your mistakes and paying it forward. She had rough teen years, which she’s carried with her for a long time. In the end, it’s realizing she can still be redeemed, she can still be loved for who she is that allows her to move on. I didn't want her story to be seen as another girl who married the wrong man. I wanted her story to be about how far we will go to protect the people that we love.

To end it all off, here are some fun facts about Jessie and Jake, or as they were originally in my head, Jessie and Kevin:

The first night that Jessie and Jake sleep together, they go to see an Oasis cover band called Cigarettes and Alcohol

Jessie and Jake were originally going to take the detectives exam together, but Jessie chickened out which resulted in Jake getting promoted to vice as a detective before Jessie tested

Jessie had a heart attack while working on the murder of a civil rights lawyer, caving under pressure from her past, her crazy boss and the high profile nature of the case

Jessie and Pete/Harry go to Vegas together to investigate the mob related murder of a porn director, and that's when she first starts to open up to him about her past (after he announces that he has the only copy of her juvenile file)

She cried the first time she had to interview a murder suspect (who later turned out to be an undercover FBI agent)

Jake/Kevin was on his college rowing team

At the beginning of what would have been season 4, Jessie and Jake go to see the Killers in concert, and Jake gets so drunk that Jessie drives the Charger home (Jake is a sleepy drunk, and spends most of the next day asleep as well)

Their honeymoon was a two week cruise in Alaska. Her favourite port was Anchorage

Their wedding song was Wonderwall by Oasis

Jessie doesn't necessarily let herself get pushed around, per say, by Pete but she wants to be where the action is after Vegas so when Pete says 'hey we're tracking a murder suspect to a deserted forest island, dress warm and come with me' she doesn't exactly say no

Jessie cried the first time that she had sex with Jake. She was so overwhelmed (in a good way!) at the care and love he handled her with because she didn't believe that anybody would ever love her enough to be gentle with her and cherish her

While in Vegas, Pete's ex-wife (who's a professional poker player) got Jessie tickets to see Velvet Revolver at the Bellagio. In the aftermath of that trip, everybody in the department thought she was sleeping with Pete, even though that was the furthest thing from the truth

Jessie's first concert was Bon Jovi when she was fourteen. Jake/Kevin's was Nickelback. Their first *real* concert together (so not the cover band) was Greta Van Fleet

Jake is a menace on the road. He breaks speed limits left right and center and if anybody questions/honks at him he just turns the mini siren in the Charger on and pretends he's responding to an urgent call (obviously for Jessie's sake that changed after their accident, and then again when Rosie was born)

Neither of them are very kinky people. Jake goes to work and solicits prostitutes most days, and generally feels pretty grody and nasty afterwards, especially with some of the things he's seen in the line of duty. The same goes for Jessica, who quite literally sees the worst of humanity. She considers Jake to be her safe place, and her favorite position is when Jake's chest is pressed against her back, he's gently kissing the side of her head, and his thrusts are slow and deep.

Call him 'Detective" and you will have Jake Seresin wrapped around your little finger. He will literally do anything you want

Jake thinks he's a handy man but isn't. It's better to hire professionals (or call Jessie's dad) when something needs doing

Jessie rarely ever takes her car in for service. Most smaller things she can do herself, and she finds doing the repairs soothing. She once replaced a broken headlight on a stakeout to keep herself busy

Jake/Kevin has two older sisters, Jessie is an eldest daughter

[sirianasims]

The new arrangement worked surprisingly well. I had never seen Samuel so relaxed. Even when he had a long shift, he was all smiles when he walked through the door and Hailey and Ivy were on him immediately.

I found myself looking forward to that moment every day, seeing him laugh as he hugged and kissed the girls, teased them, asked them about their day. They all looked so happy.

He would help Hailey with homework while I cooked dinner for all of us. He always managed to make it fun and interesting for her, and he even made sure Ivy felt included.

I loved listening to him patiently explain things to them. It made me happy to see. I might have done everything else wrong, but at least I picked an amazing father for my children.

I was almost sad that I had to scarf down my food before leaving them to go coach the senior team. I would rather have spent the evening with them, but I also knew it was good for me to get out, and I wanted to give Samuel time with the girls alone, without me hovering in the background.

“Hey, I’m back. And none of them broke a hip, so no extra work for your colleagues tomorrow.”

“Hey. The girls are asleep. I must admit, I wouldn’t have expected you to get into volunteering.”

I plopped down at the other end of the couch.

“Me neither. Jessica teases me relentlessly. But I just needed to feel useful, you know? I mean, outside of just working and being a mom. Do something nice for other people, something selfless for once. I’ve been stuck in my head for so long and this keeps me grounded.”

“That’s good. I should probably find a hobby myself. Just never had the time between the girls and residency and…”

“And your hysterical wife?”

“Come on, Freya! I would never call you hysterical.”

I laughed.

“Only because it’s medically inaccurate! I was the worst and I know it. I should have gone to therapy when I was like, twelve or something.”

He shrugged, smiling.

“Better late than never? And therapy is no joke. I had a few sessions myself to deal with the divorce and it was hard work.”

“Yeah? Do you want to talk about it? It’s fine if you don’t, and I probably wouldn’t enjoy hearing what you had to say about me, but…”

He smiled.

“I’ll skip the parts about you. It wasn’t much I haven’t said to your face anyway. But I ended up talking a lot about my family. I always felt like there was a lot of pressure on me to do better than Charlie, to never fuck up in any way. You know, to spare our parents, try to make up for all the grief he was causing them. It made me rethink a lot of things, and it made me very aware of how I parent Ivy and Hailey so I don’t end up creating some sort of unhealthy dynamic between them.”

“That’s good. I don’t want them to end up fighting each other.”

Samuel sent me a mischievous grin.

“Or stealing each other’s husbands.”

“Ouch.”

“Sorry. I went too far.”

“No, it’s OK. Also, you don’t know, they could be stealing each other’s wives!”

He laughed.

“True. Shame on me for assuming.”

“For what it’s worth, I still wish I had tried therapy sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t have hurt you like that.”

“Freya, you would have hurt me sooner or later. I fell in love with you when we were fifteen, and you never did.”

“But if I hadn’t been such a mess, we wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place, and then I wouldn’t have…”

“And then I wouldn’t have my daughters. Would you take that away from me?”

“Not when you put it like that, no.”

“Good. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow.”

I followed him to the door and he turned to smile at me as I watched him walk to the car.

It almost felt like I had my old friend back.

beginning / previous / next

[thescouts]

Because this is the first time viewers get to know Gemma, how did you work together to calibrate what her presence on screen was going to be like? Lachman: We were on the same wavelength with her warmth and her relationship with Mark. It needed to have a lot of nuance to feel grounded. Obviously, when we went to the house, the workflow of everything changed because we were shooting on film, and we’re in this environment that’s very warm and textured. I think her voice is different to Ms. Casey, but they’re not completely different people, so it still had to be in the same world. It just needed to be a bit more relaxed. I’m so grateful that we had that weekend, which you almost never get in television, to really sit down with the minds and just work on the texture of the scenes, and some of them changed. Jessica, I don’t know if you remember the one in the bathroom with the needle that was initially a little bit heavier, and then it ended up during that rehearsal process, being a lighter scene where you saw the characters’ lightness and they’re obviously going through a difficult time, but they find a moment of levity. Gagné: What I tried to do is just figure out where each scene was in each timeline. I shared a timeline document with you and Adam so that you could situate it. So there was all that background work that was already done. But then in that house, on that weekend, there was just the moment of, okay, before, we’ll discuss what’s happening in the scene, but then when we try and do the scene, it was about what feels right. And what happened there was this realness and lightness that also served the flashbacks so well because there’s a lot of really heavy themes, but then we needed these moments of bounce between light and dark. And both you and Adam have strong intuitions and feelings. Every time that something just felt a little off, we could just microchange it or tweak it. Even in the kitchen scene, this is a super simple detail, but when he’s making the sandwich and you’re playing with the cards, I wanted you guys to be shot in different parts of the room, but then Adam was like, “But I feel like I can’t,” like it didn’t work with what was within the scene, like he needed to be next to her in the beginning.

[challenger-fan-club]

Stanford Late Night Library...

Art just wants to study but Patrick Zweig always gets in the way

"Please lets go out Art..." Patrick begged. "I can't, I have this last test and then I promise, we can go to all of the parties you like." Patrick huffed and continued to get ready. "But I'm bored and I'm only in town for one more week, we have to go out." Art was hunched over his books, growing endlessly frustrated buy having Patrick in his dorm. "You know what..." He slammed his book. "I'm going to the library. You have a great party." Art huffed. Patrick wouldn't know about keeping things seriously, life was just one big joke to him and he seems to just endlessly breeze through life. He grabs his things and shoves it inside his bag before slamming the door behind him. Before Patrick has a chance to respond.

You catch eyes with Art as he sets up his books. "Studying not going well?" You whisper. There is a background of tapping on computers and small chatting but the Library was slightly empty. "Fucking roommates honestly." He whispers back. "Well, mines and her boyfriend are on a 20 hour fuck-o-thon so it's Friday nights in the library for the foreseeable." Art laughed. "How do I sponsor them?" You giggled. "Honestly, they don't need the encouragement. What bit are you stuck on?" Art moved his books and sat next to you whilst you worked on cramming for your test. Time flew past as you finally had a competent study partner. You couldn't help but smile at him. He was so cute and helpful whilst you were studying.

You were going through your flashcards and you suddenly you heard a loud moan coming from the book stacks. You and Art stared at each other and started laughing. "Who fucks in the middle of a library?" Art simpered at his own question. "I bet it's my roommate, she would do it just to follow me." You both laughed. You didn't realise that the library was almost empty as time went on. You and Art heard further moans and gasps coming from the same stack and tried to contain your laughing. Arts face was red with second hand embarrassment as he looked at you for every moan. Arts face was blush when he heard the female voice say "fuck your so big daddy." You mouthed "daddy?" to him and he shrugged his shoulder. "Some guys like it." You made a confused face but didn't want to ask. Art shuffled around, the sounds of the moaning had clearly got to him and you thought about making a move and suggesting that you and him follow suit however you couldn't believe how embarrassed and cute he looked by the whole thing. Clearly, he wasn't into voyeurism in any form. "you're gonna make me fucking cum." You heard the male voice from behind the stacks. Art froze and blinked slowly. "Patrick?!" He shouted. "Yeah two minutes Art." Patrick yelled back as you saw Arts head fall in front of him.

Patrick, true to form, came out of the stacks a few minutes later. Art had his head against the table, gently banging it against the table. He hasn't explained what was going on but you could put two and two together. "Hey Art man, you done studying yet? I was looking for you but uh..." he looked at the girl next to him. "Jessica." She spoke. "Jessica was saying that there is a party down the road if you want to come... bring your friend." Art continued to bang his head off the table and you put your hand on the back of his neck to stop him from giving himself a concussion. "You're not going to let me study are you?" Art groaned. "Absolutely fucking not." Patrick looked so proud of himself. Art huffed and shut his books. "Alright, FINE. Lets go."

[electricbluebutterflies]

JessLeto + i  was  eager  to  prove  i  was  good  enough .

This wasn't supposed to be a cute mid-era domestic moment but here we are. PG-ish and also on ao3.

The accusations stop cutting as deeply after a while.

Jessica wonders sometimes which parts of her personality are within her nature and which were programmed into her to make her useful for other people, but… her caution doesn’t always feel real, she’s decided, her tendency to move so slowly and act on so little of her impulses and-

If she were everything she has been accused of, she would be a monster, and she is no such thing.

Still, the background noise of it all. Still, the assumptions she tries to be more than she is even though reality has been the opposite. Still-

She barely even knows who said what this time, but her instincts for preemptive damage control have grown stronger over the years. What she actually did or did not do is, as per usual, not the point.

She slips into her partner’s spaces so easily, her sense of timing flawless, not quite late enough in the day for her to be a distraction but on the pleasant edge of acceptability and-

“What do I get to pretend I don’t know about this time?”

She loves him, she thinks, this man who knows her routines and vulnerabilities and… she let that happen, she reminds herself, she wasn’t supposed to and she did it anyway and-

“That’s not the only reason I might go out of my way to-“

“It is with that look in your eyes.”

She will blame time for this, she decides, the familiarity of a dozen years and she’s gotten so damn complacent too and-

“Very preemptive and I don’t know,” she replies, and let that replaced vulnerability be enough, her intact priorities and she’ll try to resolve whatever minor incident there may or may not be ahead before it takes form but she knows how she gets things done and-

“Unlike you on both counts.”

“Good to know I can still surprise you.”

Frightening and reassuring in equal measure, she thinks but doesn’t say, one more internalized compartmentalized meaningless moment against the weight of the world and-

“You’re up to something.” Affectionate, in that voice, just benign curiosity, no worse than that in a decade, she’s not sure how that happened and-

No. She knows exactly what she did. Kept out of the way, did less than anyone expected, decided she liked being treated like a multidimensional human being and look at them now and-

“Not as much as usual,” she murmurs. “Just a little…”

“If I say you’ve gotten calmer…”

“More comfortable,” she corrects. “I used to… I was eager to prove I was good enough, and that meant…”

They don’t talk about what she does. They will never talk about what she does as is necessary for them. She has made herself absolute and infinite and-

Fearless, she thinks, and even safer for it. Confident, whatever happens, that she and her partner function as one.

“You never needed to do that.”

“You forget how obvious it was that you hadn’t the slightest idea how to-“

“Cultural reputation did not line up with-”

“I stopped hiding knives in my skirts two months after I came here, do you realize-“

“You do not have any idea how confusing you are to other people.”

“You might be the only one who’s been interested enough to get close enough to-“

“You’d maim anyone else who even thought about it.”

He’s not wrong, but-

“Maybe they’re all right about us,” she murmurs. “Maybe you did let me too close.”

He gives her an amused look, and this too feels like a sign of how they’ve grown around each other like vines. “If you’d had hostile intentions, you would’ve shown them by now. You’re not that patient.”

And she’s spent most of her life well aware of that primary personality defect, she reminds herself, but-

“Still the possibility I could snap like-“

“You wouldn’t. It would make too many people happy if you did.”

Again, not wrong, again the reality of being seen is a little more than she knows how to react to and-

“I might get bored enough. Or desperate.”

“Highly unlikely.”

She has made herself clear, she thinks, done everything she can, and-

“Maybe you trust me too much, love.”

“Not possible.”

[pipperoni32-blog]

Taunting Gravity

by Jessica Kaye / 4.5 stars

Ok, so before I talk about this book, I want to gush again about how I found Jessica Kaye as an author - "Beyond the Wall". The journey/quest book that I absolutely enjoyed and had no right being so good. It was in my top 5 favorite reads for 2024, and I cannot recommend it enough. It also made Jessica Kaye an instant read author for me.

So, onto Taunting Gravity - this one was more on the sci-fi than I usually read. The kind of books I always have waiting in the background, but think will require too much brain power. That said, I feel like the balance between easy to follow, and fully operational space travel that makes sense was very well done. I wasn't bogged down by technical speech, and was able to fully enjoy the genre.

Gemma is a young, female pilot who's the top of her class. That still hasn't helped her get a job, and she's spent a year waiting for a chance to prove herself. An unexpected accident lands her a spot on Captain Trevor Lee's crew. Even though he doesn't need the distraction of a female on the ship.

Trevor was raised in space. He's always been steady and calm, he had enough earning to buy his ship outright upon becoming a captain. He's used to the risks, the ups and downs of running cargo and working for Omni Authority. He's not prepared for the chaos a young blonde pilot is about to bring into his life.

I love the crew so much. Zane made my day every time I needed it, and I feel like a side story about Chase is something that should very much be a thing! One thing I've noticed about Kaye's writing is how much a friendship and dialogue develops before any romance. It's not insta love, and you get to see the journey through the ups and downs.

I'm almost tempted to say that it's slow at times, but it never truly felt that way. Days that should be routine space travel, getting to know the crew, never felt like filler. The story flowed so well, and it could just be me and my love of her writing style. But I never felt like it was dragging, or I was waiting for the next big thing to happen, I was content to stay in the moment.

I received an ARC copy from the publisher through BookSirens, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. All opinions are my own.

[inkwell-passion]

Heavy Rain and Bloody Storms

(Commission done for a Discord Friend of mine)

The first sign of his arrival, was the whispers and murmurs of Separatist activity. We weren't worried, The Gaia Coalition would keep us safe from any bad actors. How foolish we were. The second sign of his arrival was the screams of digital voices, they came to us, pleading for salvation from his fury, his divine wrath.

They were not saved, and they became an omen of him.

The third and final sign of his arrival was the hurricane. I remember it vividly. The screams of his past victims, melding in with the digital mimicries. Melding into a beautiful symphony, that has since been called 'The Storm'.

Let me start from the beginning.

"Hey June, you hear the Gaia Coalition is sending their best Peacekeeper to protect us?" My sister, Jessica prompts me, continuing without waiting for my answer. "His name is Stratagem. He's apparently really well known around the Gaian Colonies," She shrugs, and smiles at me. "Seems we'll be taking a break from Guard Duty, huh?"

I tear my eyes from the horizon to stare down at her. My judgement of her desire to ditch work already vividly present.

"Just because we've gotten reinforcements does not mean we can let our guards down," I scold her before ruffling her hair and smiling at her. "If you make it through the rest of our shift without complaining, I'll take you to that book store you like. Okay?"

"Yeah!" She cheers, giving me a quick hug before going back to attention.

A quiet peacefulness washes over us, a News report of an upcoming tropical storm to hit our area was droning on in the background. Maybe we won't need to worry about work for a bit. The storm clouds are gathering on the orange horizon. Off in the distance, that tropical storm is becoming a hurricane, you can tell due to how the clouds are circulating.

I tap Jessica with the back of my foot and start patrolling, motioning her to follow me, walking down the promenade with the ocean to our right, we fall into a rhythm. Her steps melding into mine as we march, she has finally taken to our lessons properly. Jessica really does need a reward, she's been working so hard these past few months.

That's when our backpack radio crackles and whines with digital interference and a monotone voice emanates from our News broadcast.

We are not fodder to be harvested. And I, Genesis have seen to it that the language of Humanity will be fractured once more.

The screams started soon after, with the radio turning to complete static. Our connection to the world cut off in an instance, the screams echoing through the streets of the city, as the tropical storm rages on in the distance, the speeds picking up. I could have sworn that the clouds and rain out in the distance started to have streaks of pink-ish red. Electrical discharges highlight the hurricane in an almost heavenly glow.

Remembering the visage, my mind places a silhouette in the center of that storm, though I know it to not be true. Chaos ensued, without orders, the planetary militia started to scatter like cockroaches that have just been hit with a flashlight beam.

In the screams and rain, I had lost track of Jessica, racing through the streets and getting civilians to storm bunkers. Just like we were trained.

After a few hours, the Hurricane hit our shores, and the damage that had already been observed, became obsolete in a mere instance. With winds so violent entire sky scrapers were being snapped in half. There was one man who stood in the center of the storm. No that isn't right, it was like he was the center of the storm, the true epicenter of all of this destruction. Whoever this Genesis was had no chance in comparison to the man I saw cross by the windows of the store I was in. His reddish-brown hair was whipping past himself, his face and beard caked in blood with a deep murderous rage in his eyes. I felt like I was seeing divinity incarnate.

Like the War itself had graced me with its presence. He looked calm from the outside, but I knew that stature, that cadence. This was a man filled with such primal rage that it wrapped back around to calm. Only to be unleashed when a target was found. I ducked under the table, lest he saw me and decide I was his victim.

My sister, who had finally received my message, was not as lucky. She ran straight into him. Literally. Turned the corner and ran face first into his barrel of a chest. She started rambling what looked like apologies in his direction.

He only smiled, a sweet, peaceful smile; one a father would give to a child who had made a mistake.

By the time I blinked and looked back, she was a bloody pulp on the ground, where she stood there was only red mist. Whatever he had done to her, it was done so quickly, that I could not have described it even if I had seen it.

Then he continued, I only connected the dots later that he was going towards the Storm bunker. The grace of Divinity left me changed. Fundamentally changed. I couldn't even find myself to be distraught at the death of my sister. I understood, in just how he moved, that this was inevitable. That was true power.

It was beautiful.

Hours later, I emerged from my hiding spot, and followed the path of carnage. My sister was not his first victim, but she was the first step on my path to follow in the War's path. To become a disciple of him. The bloody footprints led to the Storm bunker. I opened the door and found the bunker was caked in the same viscera that my sister was left in. The muscle was separated from the bones, which was separated from the tendons.

All in neat piles, as if the War had reveled in the deconstruction of the human body.

In its gore, there was a hidden melody, a hidden beauty to it all.

It inspired me.

[frankbrocean]

Script writing.

Kiyah Hamilton

Nathan Gabriel 

From Page to Stage 

October 20th 2024

Script Writing 

Scene 1: Master bedroom, music in the background. There is an ongoing party in the back, laughter lights dim in the back.

Jessica: I don’t like the way you spoke to me out there. 

Ethan: I don’t know what you wanted me to stay I don’t like them Jess.

Jessica: But that was sigh it was rude… 

Ethan: silence 

Jessica: I felt disrespected and honestly the way you spoke to me hurt my feelings. 

Ethan: Jess what did you want me to say Arms crossed. 

Jess: Okay Ethan, whatever I’m done with this conversation

Ethan: Jess please Grabs Jess’ arm

Jess:  walks away

The bedroom opens and Jess begins to head to the door of her own house

Lisa: Follows Jess. Where are you going? 

Jess: I just need some air. Jess puts her coat on, the brisk air hits her face. 

Lisa: Jess please come back inside. It’s too cold to be out here. What happened?

Jess: Trying not to speak, sigh. It’s Ethan. 

Lisa: Now outside with Jess shivering. Well you can’t go out there alone. 

Jess and Lisa hug. 

Jess: I don’t know Lis, he’s becoming too much. The way he spoke to me in there made me feel 

so belittled. 

Lisa: I understand, but this is your house, you can’t let him make you feel that way. There’s so much love and light in your house right now. When’s the last time we all go together. 

Jess: Sighs.  But I can’t deal with the arguing. Did you hear how he spoke to me? 

Ethan listens from the bedroom window. He puts his hands in his pockets and heads for the door. 

Ethan: Jess, can I please talk to you. Ethan grabs her shoulder. 

Jess: Not if you’re going to invalidate my feelings E. Jess moves right before he makes contact with her shoulder. 

Ethan: Please let's walk. 

Jess and Ethan walk away from the house. Crickets are heard in the back; it's them, their problems versus nature.

[tokuvivor]

DuckTales Character Songs! (Part 1)

I’ve been trying to come up with something unique to do here on Tumblr. And it always sorta came back to this. A couple reasons. 1. I had my own radio show in college, so I already know what it’s like to try and nail songs down for what you want to convey. 2. Last year, I did a bunch of playlists for Weblena Week, and I’d say it worked out pretty well.

So, I give to you: my list of DuckTales character songs! Now, I’m going to be sticking to one song per character, ones that I feel suit them very well. I’m going to start out here with the 9 principal characters, then major recurring characters from each of the seasons, totaling out to 4 parts in all.

Of course, I can’t take all the credit here. I’ve done a fair amount of brainstorming on this before with @glowyjellyfish. That said, let’s get started!

Scrooge McDuck

Money (That’s What I Want) by Barrett Strong

The song is kinda self-explanatory. Scrooge is one of the richest ducks in the world. He has an entire building for all of his savings. Plus, this sums up his mindset at the beginning of the series really well, before he really let himself open back up to his family. And this version of the song just has the right swaggering vibe to it. Also, RIP Barrett Strong.

Huey Duck

Surface Pressure by Jessica Darrow from Encanto

Just like Luisa Madrigal, Huey has all of this pressure on his shoulders as the oldest sibling. Trying to live up to expectations. He wants to show Dewey and Louie that he has it all together, but sometimes, he just doesn’t. It all builds up until it’s ready to blow.

Dewey Duck

Hall of Fame by The Script feat. will.i.am

Dewey is a very grandiose character. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was his daily mantra or something. “You could be the greatest, you can be the best, you can be the King Kong banging on your chest.” He wants to be seen. He wants to be a legend.

Louie Duck

Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

Louie is ambitious. He wants to climb to the top of the food chain. He wants to rule the world. He knows it’s not going to be easy, he’ll have a lot of competition, but he won’t let it stop him.

Webby Vanderquack

Roar by Katy Perry

This one has definitely struck me as a Webby-ish song for some time. Seeing this song from her point of view, I’d say she’s kinda facing her past (“You held me down, but I got up”). She’s been sheltered for most of her life, and now that she has all these new opportunities, she’s going to break out and take them.

Donald Duck

Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra

This song is appropriate for Donald in two ways. One, the fact that he was stuck on the moon during the second half of Season 2. And two, his relationship with Daisy. After all, it is kind of a love song, too. Plus, I can totally see Daisy envisioning Donald singing like Sinatra, considering that one scene in Louie’s Eleven!

Bentina Beakley

Have You Got It in You? by Imogen Heap

At least in my opinion, it’s tough to find songs that really fit Mrs. Beakley. But I think this song definitely works for her. A lot of the time, Beakley tries to keep everything together, but she has to deal with a ton of bullshit on the daily, so it can be hard. I think the line “Let me have it all, let me have a battle on. Easy target, look, can we just, just get it over with?” suits her because of her spy background, and the fact that sometimes, all she probably wants to do is snap on somebody, get it out of the way, and get back to her task at hand.

Launchpad McQuack

Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra

I think the title is very appropriate, considering that Launchpad is a pilot. I think the tone of the song, as well as a few of the lyrics, very much suit his carefree personality. Even though he doesn’t always keep his eye ahead, Launchpad likes flying or driving around without a care in the world. Especially with Mr. Blue Sky out and about.

Della Duck

Got to Fly by Marian Call

This song perfectly sums up Della’s desire to go to the stars, then being stuck on the moon, having the consequences of what she did hit her all at once, and then having her mind racing at 1,000 miles an hour over all the things she needs to do, especially after she gets back home (ADHD struggles).

So that’s it for now! Next time around, I’ll be doing major recurring characters initially from Season 1. In the meantime, let me know what you think of these!

[in-auctorem-credimus-if]

"And they lived happily ever after" might be the biggest cliffhanger of all.

In Auctorem Credimus is a metafictional sci-fantasy adventure story where you play as the main character's love interest, who takes over the MC's role after the story has ended.

This game was created for the @interact-if ranked game jam and won 1st Place in the Story and Plot Category! The jam's theme is "cliffhanger", so the game will end on one, but the game is written with a longer follow-up story in mind!

The game is complete at ~52,000 words, but please note that I will be updating the game in the future! See this devlog post for more details, and make sure to follow @ddwcaph-game for updates about the main story!

🚀 PLAY IN AUCTOREM CREDIMUS

Feeling purposeless and unfulfilled after your story has ended, you stumble upon an organization dealing with the same problem as you: the Custodians of Authorial Narrative Foundation (CANon). With nothing else to do but hope for your story's sequel or (hopefully not horrible) movie adaptation to come, the main character of your story (and canonical love interest) invites you to join the foundation and work as a biblio-anthropologist, traveling through various story worlds without the need to stay in-character. So when your dream finally came true a few years later and people in your neighborhood start disappearing, you immediately grab your plot armor and prepare to defeat the villains once again. You've done it before, and you'll make sure they'll never do it again. At least, that's how sequels are supposed to go, right? But when the main character and the villains turn out to be missing as well, you decide to take on the mantle of 'main character', join the CANon Timeline Anomaly Removal Department Intervention Squad (TARDIS), and write the sequel to your own story yourself.

In Auctorem Credimus features:

Customizable character: including age, gender, appearance,  personality, and multiple character backgrounds

Choose your (non-canonical) relationship with the main character and the children under their care

Flirt or build friendships with the squad members

Explore different story worlds and break the fourth wall!

A follow-up spin-off story

Hayden Jekyll

The squad's de facto leader. A scientist-turned-antihero who can shapeshift into different animals, mythological or otherwise, by drinking a serum… until he was cursed by the goddess Circe to never be human again for his arrogance. No one in the squad has ever been able to ask what his actual backstory is.

Jessica Armstrong

The squad's resident engineer, hacker, and explosives expert. She has a magically enchanted bionic arm that works like a glorified Swiss Army knife, which she uses to repair and maintain the Nautilus IX, the squad's dimensional starship that lets them travel to other story worlds. A weary idealist, she decided to leave her home in the Regency era after a chance encounter with time traveler H.G. Wells, hoping to help less fortunate characters. The alternative was being caught in a love triangle between two pretentious idiots.

Phyrnne

The squad's anomaly behavior analyst, therapist, and psychologist. Phyrnne is an empathic blind ghost, who navigates the physical world through sensing other people's feelings, much like heat signatures. She is the most caring of the squad, but don't mess with her unless you want to be possessed. Phyrnne changed her name as she doesn't want to be referred to as the ghost of La Llorona, whose children were drowned at the beginning of a forgotten murder mystery with no killer.

D

A 10,001-year-old vampire from a fifteen-year-old's abandoned fanfiction. Don't ask them how they got their name (it was a placeholder). Seeking to redeem themselves from their feeding frenzy when they first learned about what happened to their story, they're now trying to improve the public perception of vampires by helping with charity and the children protagonists' orphanage, as well as promoting ethical feeding habits. They especially love to give the orphans gifts and souvenirs during their visits, after they once tried to feed on Santa Claus. Well, except teenagers. They're still bitter about that.

Dr. Rnst Gadsby

The squad's changeling xenoarchaeologist, and occultist by hobby. He accidentally summoned Phyrnne's spirit during his first mission, and eventually convinced her to join the TARDIS after haunting the squad for weeks. Rnst mostly keeps to himself, although part of it is because he doesn't have a developed personality (or memory of his family) after being cut from a story with an ensemble cast—something he bonds with Phyrnne over. Together, they help each other discover their personalities (and maybe figure out Rnst's gender too).

Lorem Ipsum

The Nautilus IX's artificial intelligence. Lorem usually assists the squad with piloting the ship, as well as tracking down anomalies. Outside the ship, Lorem takes the form of a drone, which it likes to call the Futuristic Omniscient Operator Bibliographical Adjutant Rover (FOOBAR). Lorem was a supercomputer developed during the Cold War and was eventually repurposed by Jessica. Lorem changes its personality every so often to mess with the squad (except Phyrnne who can mess with its systems), and likes to indulge its murderous tendencies when its Black ICE protocol is activated, turning dangerous anomalies to mouthless blob monsters. Lorem also loves being a GM and takes the role a little too seriously.

🌐 Thank you, and always remember: In Auctorem Credimus

[electricbluebutterflies]

"it's a bit frustrating to how oblivious you are." + jessleto, if possible? thanks! you're my favourite jessica author, love your fics !!!

Mid-era, PG-ish, also on ao3.

She loves him. Core of her life, she loves him. But oh, there are days…

Jessica has done what she needed to survive, and she will not pretend otherwise, and it is challenging to change the course of her actions. The habits she picked up ten years ago when she was unsure about her placement had worked fine then, and by the time it became counter-productive she was too entrenched, and-

She knows the ways she compartmentalizes and represses herself are convenient for her partner. She has accepted the person she has become. She would still be happier if she felt like she got the respect she deserves for her efforts.

Another negotiation cycle has come and gone, another difficult week of fading herself into the background and watching her partner deflect and slowly unravel without her proximity. They need each other; she has accepted this, but not-

“Skies, I thought that would never end.”

They are safe in the quiet of their bedroom, hours later, a different tension than they have under any other circumstance, a different-

“You could have made that happen,” she murmurs.

She knows he won’t. She knows how committed he is to the roles he plays, and that means some things can never be done, or if not never then not for another… if she’s lucky twenty more years, thirty might be more realistic, and oh may they get that time, and-

“It isn’t that simple. You of all people-“

She rolls her eyes, all of her restraint burnt on this difficult week. It hasn’t gotten easier for her, as she’d once hoped it would. If anything each time is worse, and she always listens to how her presence is explained and this time she wasn’t even mentioned as a lover and-

Jessica knows, objectively, that it is probably better for her if few people off-planet know where she sleeps. She also knows that her looks are starting to change if not fade, and that was never her greatest asset but it was still among them, and who is she if she is not pleasing, and-

She is the mother of the heir, she reminds herself, and her partner has never shown the slightest regret for that choice. That at least gives her something.

But it’s still not enough, and they’re never enough, and she feels burning frustration in her and she knows this is a terrible time for it but still-

“It’s a bit frustrating how oblivious you are,” she murmurs, voice even and soft and let this not be a fight, not now not-

“Whatever troubles you-“

“You only confirm my worry. You never see-“

“You never give me a chance! The accusations always start well before-“

“Accusations?” Jessica repeats, almost laughing. “What part of this sounds like-“

“You say I have overlooked something and you refuse to-“

“Did I even exist to you this past week? Was my absence at all-“

He clears the distance between them and kisses her, and she feels all that is not said in the way their bodies move, like water like burning like-

“You were every thought in my mind,” he murmurs, and she knows this is a lie but at least it is with comforting intent. “A phantom limb and you were still there across rooms and-“

“It is easier for me to do what I do if I am-“

“It is as if I only understand how much I need you when I cannot have you.”

This is how they were once meant to be, she reminds herself, but there is such emotion in his voice, longing and adoration and-

“I feel the same. But I still fear…”

“Even if… even if we could not avoid… I would not deny you. Such things are done, it would not be-”

“You speak of scandal so casually, beloved.”

His hands climb her face, fingertips into her loose hair, and she needs this she needs everything she needs-

“Would that be enough for you? If… if there were no other way, if-”

Jessica wants to recoil, and it takes all of her endurance to stay perfectly still where she is, to keep her eyes on her partner, to-

“You wouldn’t do it. You wouldn’t betray me like that. How dare you even threaten-“

“I have no plans to, but you know how we must move for stability, and-“

“Do not give me more fear than I already carry from the love of you.”

She is unsure which of them steadies their body against the other; they will stay close for a long time, she thinks, night into morning, and it will still not be enough, they are never enough, they are-

“It is not safe for us yet,” he murmurs. “You know as well as I do-“

“I will not ask for it. Only that such position does not become anyone else’s while we must wait. Is that fair enough?”

He answers with a kiss, delicate, what their voices do not say their bodies always do and-

“I will do as I can, my storm. Do you trust me?”

“More than you will ever know.”

[faithandfairies]

Supernatural 14x13 Lebanon Musings; Dean’s Heart’s Desire

Okay, so I’ve been re-watching Supernatural and it’s kind of nice.

And it’s weird because when I first started watching it I was like 12 and I thought Sam and Dean were both these really cool dudes who were ladies men and were mostly having the time of their life.

And I have a totally different viewpoint now. I mean, I still think they’re badass.

But they’re not playboys kicking ass and taking names. They both had a traumatizing childhood and clearly wanted families and normal lives. To recreate for themselves what they had lost. 

In Sam’s case what he’d never known because he was too young. Hell, Sam was well on his way to achieving that before Jessica died.

And for Dean what he has quite literally wanted ever since he lost it at 4 years old. Old enough to remember what a real, happy family was like. Like a phantom limb he could still feel. And trying to make that dream come true in the present since he couldn’t go back and undo the past he literally sought out a wife and child the moment he didn’t feel like he had to follow unwritten orders from his dad.

I love then that the show rounds out with Dean raising a child with his brother and a male angel who’s in love with him. 

Love by the way that Dean’s dad specifically expresses that Castiel is a male angel. He could have just said angel but he didn’t. 

Because Dean gets that family he’s always wanted but it looks different than I feel like even he thought it would look.

I don’t remember what my favorite episode was originally and I haven’t seen all the seasons completely yet. I think I stopped somewhere around season 11 and then saw episodes here and there.

But from my recent re-watch my favorite is season 14′s Lebanon.

I just love how that episode makes everything come full-circle specifically for Dean.

We really get a “Dean living his heart’s desire” feel from it.

From his parents reuniting and him not being able to take his eyes off them as they do so. To the family dinner. All of which he’s desperately wanted but was a wish he never in his wildest dreams thought could come true.

It also has two other things I really love about it. The subtle queer love story in the background between two girls. 

And Dean telling his father and brother two very important things in my opinion. 

The first is directed at his dad when his dad pulls him aside and asks him why he never settled down and had a family and he tells his dad he has a family. Someone pointed out that it’s interesting that John solely asked Dean and not Sam this question and that it’s possible John knows he’s queer and it’s a commentary on that. He tells his father he does have a family with Sam and Cas and Jack. 

The second thing is when Dean tells his brother that he’s good with who he is. He knows who he is and he’s good with it and pretty much wouldn’t change a thing. I love this for Dean, because Dean has always struggled with self-love and self-acceptance and so this is a nice little moment that shows he’s come a long way in that.

And the queer love story that takes place between two girls is a lovely choice but I believe also imperative to Dean’s story if we consider the episode to really encompass Dean’s heart’s desire. Because the love story is hidden in plain sight. And directly relates to Dean given that it starts with half of the queer couple-to-be stealing Dean’s car to impress her girl crush. 

It’s also, the way it’s done, it briefly becomes the main story when the girl steals Deans car and then continues on in the background through intimate looks and touches between the girls. All hidden in plain sight. 

It just underlines that a love story doesn’t have to be in your face the way the love story between Dean’s parents is in order for it to be valid. 

Also, I’ve recently seen the episode where Dean goes on a road trip with Jack and it’s just a nice parallel between Dean trying to help raise a kid he doesn’t understand and John trying to raise his boys.

You have Dean, who is terrified of snakes, yet still trying to be understanding of Jacks’ interest in keeping one as a pet. And trying to understand all of Jack’s quirks and being quietly supportive even when he doesn’t understand. It’s just such a healthy difference in parenting tactics, between John and Dean but also between Dean and his younger self.

I say this because a lot can be derived from who Sam and Dean are as people. There’s just a lot of toxic masculinity wrapped up in their behavior. Where they’re all about being manly men even when they’re not. And teasing each other if they don’t fit the stereotype. All of which leads to gay/acting like a girl jokes/digs and teasing each other for the things they like or are afraid of and doesn’t really inspire authenticity (being yourself and being okay with being yourself). 

And I believe this all stems from how their father raised them but also from the balancing act of a too young Dean, a self-conscious tween and teen, trying to please his father and maintain the image of being the man he wanted him to be, embody a weapon shaped by his father to protect his brother and the rest of the world, an alpha male and an actual present father to Sam.

And don’t get me wrong. The boys love each other. They’d both die and kill for each other and have. They’re fantastic at the grand gestures. But not always great at the day to day.  They very clearly don’t understand each other well and in the beginning especially Dean is loathe to talk about his feelings or listen to/talk about Sam’s. Something that even in his relationship with Cas becomes an issue. They (Sam and Dean) don’t do deep conversation well or don’t want to do it at all.

And so even if one of the boys was some type of queer, I don’t see it being in the forefront. Simply because of how they were clearly raised based on how they interact with each other. And this macho image Dean especially projected initially didn’t leave much room for anything else. Especially not for Dean possibly being queer. Having to be on high alert, tough and brave and often deadly all the time, would never have been able to exist alongside Dean being queer.

So while I think the creators of the show didn't queerbait, they in fact made it very obvious that Cas was into Dean and Dean was into Cas while they also clearly loved each other, it was easy for it to fly under the radar and for them to keep it there given the world of toxic masculinity the boys lived in.

Now, if they had been raised by their mother I think things might have been different. Maybe. Or hell, even if they were solely raised by Bobby.

This also makes me love that Dean’s story doesn’t end on earth. He really ends up embodying the “There’ll be peace when you are done” part of the song. Because on earth he somehow always finds his way back to hunting and unlike with Sam you don’t get the impression that Dean would marry hunting with having a family and true happiness on earth.

But also, the last time we physically see Cas he pretty much offers Dean happiness with him while also letting him know that they can’t have it on earth. What Dean does get is the promise of a happy ending with Cas, if he wants it. I say the promise of a happy ending because from previous story lines we also know that leaving the empty isn’t impossible. And these boys have repeatedly done the impossible.

And then Dean arrives in heaven and Bobby very meaningfully tells him that Jack (God) and Cas rebuilt heaven. The raise of Bobby’s eyebrows as he tells Dean this and Dean’s answering smile tells me that it isn’t a stretch to believe that Cas is in heaven and waiting for him. Bobby very helpfully also tells him that it’s a big new world out there and that this heaven is the heaven Dean deserves. It just makes me think of that song God Help the Outcasts and the line “Show them the mercy they don’t find on earth”. All of which tells me that if Cas is part of Dean’s heart’s desire he can have it. It is up to him.