#jk i have 3 more left to do
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time to sleep for 500000 years
#jk i have 3 more left to do#😔😔😔😔😔😔😔#remy lebeau#gambit#psylocke#in my mind its#kwannon#but i did use the marvel rivals design as a bit of ref i fewr#fear..#xmen#kate bishop#clint barton#hawkeye#if i had a nickle for every archer duo i did in this series#….#avengers#marvel#marvel fanart#dc fanart#stephanie brown#steph brown#batgirl#helena bertinelli#huntress#batman#ughghhhgghhhhhhh#im actually verybexcited to do white and black…. eeeeee#color series#ashoss.png
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"Can't we push dying to a week from Friday?"
Another one down! this time, norn warrior Grif for my RvB gw2 au <3
man's got a stick to wack a bitch and he... might use it.
#rvb#red vs blue#rvb grif#rvb gw2 au#my art#batsy art#AT LASTTTTT#ive been sitting on this one almost since i finished kai's i just... could not finalize his fashion wars bc i didnt have any masc norns#to model the boots when i realized i wanted to do cultural boots for him so i made a keyfarm norn for once to finally sort him out#one more red left and then its just.. blues as far as the eye can see (jk theres only two 'blue's left bc im not counting wash)#but im getting there!! once i got the main blood gulch crew done i might slap them all into one image again.. for funsies#and bc the norn scaling only works if u have someone with them to make it clear how big they are lmao#but i digress!! bop stick grif <3
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dark. that was all he had ever known. cold, dark, damp. the boy shivers in the small room, painfully alone, only a book and his magic to keep him company. he tries not to use his magic very often, though. it seemed that the people above knew when he used it and they always always always refused to give him food until he “woke up” next, if they bothered to keep track of that. maybe this time he’ll learn their lesson. the boy whispers his spell, cur memini, and creates a small light in his fingers. this is the only spell he can cast safely, too small to be noticeable by the people above. he holds his hand over the fading book on the floor. the boy can’t read the letters on the page, but this book has pictures. he flips through it again, careful of the pages that were falling apart, admiring the figure in armor who always comes to rescue the figure in the tower, cut off from the world, just like him. the boy frequently dreams of a figure in armor coming to save him, despite the years he has spent alone. dark and cold and damp.
the room the boy lives in, the only room he has memories of, is empty besides himself and the book. sometimes the people above would give him water and stale bread to eat, and then there was a cup and a dirty plate, but otherwise it was just the boy and the book. the boy knows why the people above have locked him away, they told him that he was a freak of nature, unnatural, dangerous. but the boy could only make lights in his palm, and that wasn’t very dangerous at all. he thinks to himself that the people above are the dangerous ones, locking away a child for something like this, but he can’t say that out loud. he doesn’t want to die again.
the boy’s stomach grumbles and he curls in on himself, the light in his palm fades out. he longs to see the sun again, to play with the other children he can hear through the ceiling, to be normal. the people above must have decided to punish him again, though, as he doesn’t remember the last time he had anything to drink, to eat. his stomach would eat through his skin and he would still wake up the next day. why can’t he just die once and for all and be rid of the pain? why is the world keeping him here? why was he even born?
the boy closes his eyes, and falls asleep. maybe this time it won’t hurt so much.
---
how long has he been here? the boy doesn’t keep track of time. he knows he’s died at least a dozen times, but how long does it take for a dozen lifetimes to pass?
---
a clattering on the floor wakes the boy up. the people above decided he can eat today. stale bread and water again, but better than nothing to the boy. he crawls closer to it, listening to the door. it closes and the voices disappear. where was the sound of the lock? did they forget?
the boy scarfs down his food and water before tiptoeing up the stairs. he doesn’t hear any voices, but he needs to be careful. he doesn’t remember what the above looks like, but he needs to leave. he needs to be free.
slowly, quietly, he opens the door. it’s dark on the other side of it, but still much, much brighter than his room ever was. he closes his eyes but keeps the door open. breathe in, and out. opens his eyes again, blinking the brightness away. pushes the door further open. steps on the hard ground outside the door. he’s so close. closes the door quietly. turns around and holds his breath. where was outside? pick a direction and go. his legs hurt. turn the corner, listen for voices. voices are dangerous, get away from the voices. whisper his spell, create a small light. keep moving keep moving keep moving. window ahead. break it? open it? is he strong enough? lift the window up. too weak. voices coming. hurry hurry hurry must get out now. whisper spell again, hand on window. break the glass and jump through it. cuts on feet cuts on legs deal with that later. voices getting louder voices shouting. run run RUN.
the boy runs away from the building, away from his room. freedom is so close. first get to the trees, then… he hasn’t thought that far, but he will find a way. gunshots from the house. he runs faster, must get to the trees, must hide, must be free. cur memini, he whispers again, crossing into the forest. his spell can make lights and now break windows, but he needs it to protect him at this moment. run run run until the voices are quiet again. his legs are giving out, but he needs to run. he can’t die now or they’ll find him. keep running. bare feet on sticks and stones and sharp things, everything hurts but he can’t stop. he keeps running until the sun comes up. his heart beats out of his chest.
---
when he wakes up he doesn’t know how much time has passed. his heart beats fast and he sits up. did they find him? he looks around. trees, rocks, a gurgling stream. he’s free. he’s free. he sighs and lays back down. how far did he run? he needs to go further. away from other people, away from anyone who might lock him up again. he sits up again and forces himself to stand and walk towards the sound of the stream. he can start there. water is important, and he might be able to get food from the little stream too.
his first drink of the stream water is icy cold, quenching his lifelong thirst in just a few swallows. he washes his face with it, removing years of sweat and grime. he wants to sit by the stream forever if only he could, but the people will find him eventually if he doesn’t keep moving. but he allows himself a few minutes to bathe in the water, savoring the feeling of water on his skin. his stomach still growls, wanting something more filling than the freezing water of the stream, but that would have to wait. he needs to get his bearings.
the light of the outside world is almost blinding, he realizes. the sun and the snow made it almost impossible to see anything. he should get up above the trees. can he even do that? cur memini, he says, trying to get his voice to be louder than a whisper. his feet float a few inches above the ground. he closes his eyes and says his spell again with more conviction. Cur Memini. he feels himself shooting into the air before he opens his eyes. he can see the forest stretch out for miles around him. trees covered in snow in every direction. if the old house is behind him, he should fly straight ahead, towards the forests on the mountains. tentatively, he leans forward and focuses his magic on keeping himself afloat.
it doesn’t take much to exhaust what little magic he has, but he’s put more distance between himself and the old house and the people above now. he should be safe to rest, truly rest. but first he should find something to eat. is there anything to eat out here? something in his head tells him to look a little closer to the ground. to his left. there’s a bush full of berries. he’s never had anything but stale bread, and doesn’t know what to expect as he crushes one with his teeth.
the sensation overtakes him for a brief moment. the berry is sweet, yet tart, and delicious. it’s the best thing he’s ever eaten and he thanks the little voice in his head for the information as he picks several more berries from the bush. the juice runs down his chin and makes him sticky, but it feels good. he feels truly alive for the first time.
once he’s finished picking the bush clean of its fruits, he needs to find a place to rest, to stay warm. he’s shivering in the intense cold of the north, but it’s nothing he isn’t used to. the room was never very warm after all. he listens to the little voices calling out to him, guiding him towards a small cave, instructing him on how to make a small fire to warm himself up. a small rabbit brushes against his leg and he swears one of the voices is coming from it. and with the fire going, he thanks the rabbit before it hops away back into the snow. he would be roasting that same rabbit over the fire a few months later.
the boy can’t stay in the cave forever though. as days turn to weeks turn to months, he worries that the people above are getting closer to him. they’ll put him back in that cold, dark, damp room again. he needs to keep moving. he has been practicing his magic, casting stronger spells, and he needs to be ready to fly. it's been long enough. cur memini he says holding his hand out. a rough stick with twigs tied to the end flies into his hand. it’s a poor excuse for what he understands is a broom, but it will work. he climbs onto it and focuses. cur memini cur memini cur memini. he lifts off the ground and watches as the branches of the trees get shorter and eventually he passes above the treetops.
he takes a moment to gather his bearings. he no longer remembers the direction the house was in, but going up is his best bet of staying away from the people above. he laughs, realizing that he is the one above them now. after a moment, he flies into the mountains. the small voices change into bigger, unfamiliar ones as he gets further into the mountain range. they tell him to hide, to stay away. he doesn’t listen. they cannot be more dangerous than the humans he is running from.
the boy lands, still exhausted from using so much magic, but he was able to travel further this time. that has to count for something, surely. he gathers some sticks and looks for another cave to make his home in. the caves remind him too much of the room he left, so he chooses to stay close to the entrance, close to the light that reminds him he is free. the fire keeps the animals away, but the voices are curious about the new presence in their woods. they make him curious too. he should stay in the cave tonight though and regain his energy. maybe he can get some small game to fill his stomach before settling in for the night. he listens for a rabbit’s voice, or maybe a squirrel, anything that would be small enough to kill with his hands.
at last, a small fox’s voice is heard nearby. he wonders if fox will taste different from the other game he’s eaten thus far. he lifts a hand-sized rock and slinks out of the cave towards the voice. it takes a few minutes to find the source, but the fox is curled under a tree, shivering, hungry, just like him. the boy hesitates before bludgeoning it and slinging the corpse over his shoulders. there are more foxes. he is much more important.
the fox is only the first animal he hunts in those mountainous woods. he spends several years in that forest and eventually humans settle up there as well. the boy, or rather, the man now, has made a name for himself amongst the human populations of the north. he is no longer afraid of humans capturing him and locking him up. they are still terrified of him, but now he is in control of that terror. the hunters that left his territory alive whispered tales of the great wizard owen who inhabited the mountains and terrorized anyone who had the bad luck of running into him.
all of this is perfectly fine with owen. eventually his reputation will grow beyond himself, encapsulating atrocities that were impossible for even someone as strong as oz to commit, but that would be a problem for future owen. for now, he is still young and living in his cave on the outskirts of a small village and scaring hunters who stray too far from their boundaries. the wolves don’t like these visitors either and gladly listen to owen’s lamentations. it keeps his hands clean of the bloodshed if he isn’t casting the spell himself. the wolves don’t care for owen either, but they respect him. and that is enough for owen.
the first of the unwanted visitors was a young man, someone who wanted to provide for his family. he pleaded with owen and the wolves to let him go and he wouldn’t cause any problems. those pleas fell on deaf ears though as owen looked the man in the eyes. won’t your family be disappointed, he asked almost innocently, you don’t have anything to show for your efforts. the man stammered a response, they’d rather i come back alive with nothing than die trying to find food. is that so, owen reached out for the man’s chin, the distance between their faces was almost nothing. y-yes, sir, please just let me go and i won’t bother you anymore. owen grinned. oh i’m sure you won’t be causing us any trouble again. the wolves stalked out of the woods, drooling at the prospect of tearing a piece of that man for themselves. owen snapped his fingers, and they came running forward, only to stop mere inches from the now trembling man. there was a suspicious yellow stain in the snow beneath him. p-p-please sir, anything you ask, it’s yours! then make sure you tell the rest of your little village that this forest belongs to the great wizard owen. the man ran off, leaving behind a hunting rifle and a ratty sack. the rifle would be of use, but the sack became tinder for his fires.
despite the warning from that first man, hunters continued to enter into owen’s territory. and one after the other, they ran off screaming with their tails between their legs. this should have annoyed owen, that people would ignore all of the warnings and stories that had started popping up about him, but it doesn’t. their fear feeds into his magic power, only making him stronger, and that is all fine with owen. he is no longer a weak child locked in the damp, dark basement, and he never will be again.
#shay writes#mahoyaku#promise of wizard#mhyk fanfiction#owen#owen mhyk#owen mahoyaku#character study#my wips#okay putting. disclaimers in the tags bc formatting. i am still new to reading everything#i'm almost done with the ballads. i have one left and its the proud hunter one#and then i'm hoping to start the first anni story#so uhhhhh if anything past the ballads is wrong no its not#jk jk i just havent gotten to it but i also like to take creative liberties with some things#and i definitely have already#trust me this is going to be way longer than it already is#like this is 2.5k words and i'm only posting all of it now bc its owen's birthday#i have several more scenes i want to write out as well that will add probably at least#another 2k words to this#if not more. its gonna be a time#but i did force myself to get to a decent place to end where it wasnt like. the middle of the scene#or a sentence. which some of my wips do accidentally end midsentence. i need to get better at that#but yeah. okay i should go to sleep i am actually sick and need to sleep and pray#i can go to work tomorrw. though if i'm feeling worse thats fine w me#i can sleep in for once#anyway happy birthday owen my mippy <3
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jungkook fic recs list (part 3) ౨ৎ

i’m more than a month late i’m sorry :’( but part 3 is finally here!! i hope you enjoy these stories, all of them are sosososo good and well written! the authors are amazing <3 minors dni!
⭑ part 1, part 2
a- angst f- fluff s- smut
series (completed)
candles & flames by @taegularities
enemies to lovers, royal!au (a, f, s)
He wasn’t supposed to be yours. His foolery wasn’t supposed to target you. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
an abundance of luck & a sprinkle of fate by @borathae
ceo!jungkook x sexworker!reader, strangers to lovers!au, bdsm, hurt and comfort (a, f, s)
"When two souls, with different reasons for why life has broken them, find together, it needs a whole lot of a luck and a little bit of fate to make them see that maybe healing together isn’t as bad as it sounds.”
the farmhouse by @solecize
childhood friends to lovers/small town au (a, f)
every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision. despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart.
sinful lust by @oddinary4bts
bisexual boyfriend!yoongi x female!reader x jungkook, snippets of life!au (a, s, a bit of f)
in an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating...
evolution of a lover’s heart by @jeonstudios
college au, fuckboy au, bet au (a, f, s)
the rules are simple: first one to take the virginity wins
blackout by @jjungxkook
best friends to lovers, roommate au, college au (f, s)
Utility bills shooting up like this should be an international crime. Luckily, Jungkook has the perfect idea(s) to save up money and make your night sinfully unforgettable.
how many by @yoon-kooks
jungkook x tattoo artist!reader, bad boy!au (f, s)
To Jeon Jungkook, you're just the cutie who sits across from him in art class. He doesn’t have a clue that you're also the hidden face of his favorite tattoo artist on social media. When the bad boy notices you've taken a surprising interest in his ink, he dares you to explore every inch of his body until all of his tattoos are accounted for. Tempted by his irresistible smile and delicate touch, you might even let him in on your little secret.
series (ongoing)
something about you by @ahundredtimesover
friends au, vacation au, semi slow burn, romcom-ish vibe; ays jk; PE teacher!jk and researcher!oc (f, s?)
You and Jungkook have been friends for a decade. And while he’s the charming and dependable, often reserved boy-next-door, he’s also just been a friend - a constant in your life, a part of a whole, and someone who’s seen all the flawed and probably unattractive sides of you.
A resumption of your friend group’s out-of-town trips has caused you to spend more time with him. And somewhere in between the morning coffee in the forest, running around in the snow, and watching the sunset on a boat, he’s become something more. And you’re not quite sure how to deal with it.
teach me how to love by @kookooluvr
fwb!au, co-workers!au, professor!jungkook, professor!reader, fwb2l, slow burn (a, f, s)
jeon jungkook, a fellow professor at yonsei university, is your friend, co-worker, and secret bed buddy. you have rules set in place to make sure there are no misunderstandings in your little arrangement. the #1 rule is as clear as day; no catching feelings. simple, right? wrong. let's see how un-simple it gets when a certain economics professor falls for an emotionally unavailable political science professor.
bad decisions (ao3) by @alphabetboyluvr
bartender!jungkook x female reader | strangers-friends-lovers, fwb (a, f, s)
it’s simple: write your deepest darkest fears on origami birds and string them up on jungkook’s ceiling. when they fall—which they inevitably will, thanks to his cheap daiso washi tape—you have to face the fear. set it free. the issue? you’ve a fear of intimacy. jungkook, a fear of rejection. and you’ve both got the capacity to make some incredibly bad decisions.
oneshots
petal to the metal by @luxekook
jewelry-maker jungkook x florist reader, idiots to lovers (a, f)
every sunday, the farmers’ market took place in the center of town. vendors from near and far traveled to sell their crafts, their produce, their teas. as the local florist, you figured that running a booth each weekend would boost your business and bring in new clients. at least, those were your reasons in the beginning. but, now? now, you returned just for the handsome jewelry-maker whose booth was next to yours.
the kids aren’t alright by @sketchguk
fwb!jeongguk x pastor’s kid (p.k)!reader, f2l, fwb au (a, f, s)
sneaking around with jeongguk during your christian retreat is complicated when you’re both dedicated to your jobs as co-youth group counselors at your father’s ministry.
paddle with me (two-shot) by @yoongsgguktae
campcounselor!au, e2l, pwp (s)
when your camp leader forces you and jeongguk as partners in a team building activity. with frustrations and anger flaring during your journey down the river, how will all this pent-up emotion get released?
mind in the gutter by @kpopfanfictrash
bowling!au, workplace!au, rom-com (s)
Starting over is never fun. Especially not when you decide to take the phrase fully to heart; new job, new city, new coworkers and new relationships. When you are dragged to a happy hour by your new co-worker, Taehyung, you end up sitting beside a (very) cute, (very) shy IT worker named Jungkook. Several drinks later, he mentions he is in a professional bowling league with his friends and you rather enthusiastically invite yourself along. As time passes and you begin to grow closer, you still find it impossible to read Jungkook. Working in the same company and seeing each other so often, it is only so long before one of you snaps. But who?
sleepover by @personasintro
best friend's brother au (f, s)
Jeongguk is your best friend’s little brother who invites you to have a sleepover at his place. Nothing can happen, right?
#jungkook fic#jungkook fic recs#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#jungkook#bts jungkook#bts fics#bts fic recs#jungkook series#jungkook oneshot#jungkook x reader#alexia’s favs
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summary: in which for you, jungkook would commit crimes and his mother would peel oranges.
idol!jk x reader | fluff, angst | word count: 9.5k
warnings/content: oc passes out in the shower / jk does something crazy i’m literally insane about this / baby bam cameo 🥺 / stitches >:( / blood draw / mention of speeding / jealous not but rlly jealous oc is pissed owfffff at the nurse who has a crush on jk lmao / jk and his mom loves them to death tho so obv who wins / love is beautiful let’s all cry <3
> in which masterlist!
note: *sitcom sound effect of crowd cheering* I’M BACK 🥰 hope u enjoy the product of my madness during finals season hehehe. and special thanks to my cutieful proofreader rio!! you’re one of my most favorite people i’ve ever met 🥺💕 + my beloveds who came to the rescue when i had medical questions !! i didn’t expect to receive help from soooo many and i’m so freaking grateful i could cri :")
—
“i ordered it the other day. how did it arrive so early?”
jungkook walks back inside the apartment, arms occupied by a stack of boxes that arrived in the mail yesterday.
he arrives at the living room, head tilting to the side in confusion when he realizes that the netflix show he was watching on the television is no longer playing. instead, there is the news channel.
he gasps.
“baby, you’re alive!”
your swollen eyes flicker up to him.
you’re lying on the sofa with your legs lazily dangling on the edge. there’s a toothbrush in your mouth, foam of bubbles between your lips, but your arm barely exerts the energy to make it do its job.
“you were asleep from afternoon to morning. do you know that? you’ve never done that before!” he exclaims, carelessly tossing the boxes on the floor. “i was getting scared!”
you only hum to acknowledge his existence, pushing yourself up from the sofa and unknowingly dodging the hug your boyfriend wanted to greet you with.
he ends up collapsing face first on the empty space you left, hurt and offended.
the bathroom door opens and closes.
he flips over, whining. “yah, we didn’t see each other for a day. didn’t you miss me?!”
still not a single word from you. sleeping that long must not have cured your exhaustion, jungkook surmises. you tend to be glum and cranky when you’re feeling unwell, as is usually the case when you wake up as unrested as before.
he doesn’t always know how to make you feel better, but he always tries anyway.
“our new bedsheets arrived!” he announces from the other side of the bathroom door, making himself loud so that you can hear him despite the shower running. “do you want to unbox them with me?!”
he allows the seconds to pass, but with his hands on his hips, he eventually begins to tap his foot on the floor.
“baby? may i go in?”
he turns the knob, just to be prepared incase the answer is a yes, but it doesn’t turn. a sad pout forms on his face.
huh? why is it locked?
you must genuinely don’t want to be bothered today.
“guess that’s a no.” he mutters to himself before calling out to you. “okay, i’ll wait for you!”
with a crestfallen sigh, he begins to walk back to the living room.
he doesn’t go far, however.
only several steps later, a series of loud crashes is heard from the bathroom and his heart thunders in his chest with a combination of numbing shock and fear.
“____, what was that?! did you fall?!”
he aggressively pounds at the door, extremely desperate this time around. he has no plans on leaving until he knows that you’re safe and sound.
“baby! open this! are you alright…? are you hurt? you’re scaring me. please, answer!”
he pauses, catching his breath as his mind runs a thousand miles per hour.
“____!”
he strikes the door with an open palm one more time, more so to express his frustration that is only growing worse with every tick of the clock. he only ends up hurting himself in the process.
“that’s it! i’m opening the door!”
he frantically whips his head around, racking his brain for the location of the key. there are two copies of it somewhere in the apartment, but in his panicked state, he is unable to pinpoint either of their specific spots. and he can’t fucking afford to waste any more time.
“ah, fuck!” he curses, left with no other choice but to give in to the instinct of breaking down the door with the strength and durability of his body alone.
he would most definitely break his shoulder first before the door.
only after the first try, that much is clear.
and so, with madness inconsiderate of his agony, he resorts to kicking it over and over again.
the repeated loud collisions rattles poor bam from his slumber. not long after, the dog’s barking creates a booming dissonance with his grunts and kicks at the door.
when it finally swings open, the force of his own body sends him stumbling on the bathroom floor, but he doesn’t waste time in bouncing back to his feet.
the twisting of his stomach is instantaneous.
there lies your naked, unconscious figure behind the glass— surrounded by bottles of hair and body products that must have fallen when your hands were searching for something to hold on to.
his voice cracks, breathless.
“baby, no… no, no, no.”
he kneels on the floor, and despite the strong urge to carry you out of there, he tries to calm down. it’s the first rule in every emergency case; professionals reiterate in seminars and news channel segments.
keep calm. keep calm. keep calm.
he won’t be able to forgive himself if he ends up causing more harm than good.
“____, can you hear me?!”
his instinct tells him to inspect every inch of you for any sign of injury, but then his vision becomes too blurry. he curses at the hindrance and forces himself to turn off the showerhead that was left running.
he harshly wipes his face, rushing back to you.
“please, please, please. wake up.” he begs.
he has a feeling that it’s futile. you can’t hear him and he’s wasting his breath. the thing is he doesn’t know what else to do.
“baby…”
he carefully turns your head over, almost relieved because he hasn’t seen blood so far.
almost.
at last, he gets a full view of your face, and he finds blood dripping. this has always been one of his most paralyzing fears— seeing you get hurt. now that it’s become a reality, there’s a part of him that wants to believe this is some kind of twisted dream.
“how- how did this even happen…?” he cries out, his own blood running cold.
for everything that happens after, his body acts on its own. bam is a constant presence in his peripheral, but he is barely in his right mind to acknowledge the presence aside from, “bam, move. daddy might step on you.”
he carries you out of the bathroom, kicking aside the beaten up door. he has made up his mind about bringing you to the hospital, but he can’t bring you like… this.
he lays you down on the bed, all that gentleness switched off in a split second so he can sprint to the walk-in closet. he hastily grabs whatever is on top of your neatly folded stacks of shirts and pants; and then a fresh towel on the way out. the gentleness returns as he pats your face dry, the pure white stained with dark red. he flips the towel and uses the other side to wipe the rest of your body, in a race against time but mindful of treating you like fragile glass.
once that is over, he dresses you in a pair of gray sweatpants, and with some difficulty, an orange t-shirt.
any person with functioning eyes will be able to tell that the shades don’t go together.
if you were conscious, you’d definitely berate him for making you wear this outfit.
but you’re not.
jungkook effortlessly swoops you in his arms— dripping wet hair, his and yours, leaving behind a trail of raindrops from your apartment floor to the cemented parking lot.
—
your body feels like it’s floating.
are you dreaming…?
you must be dreaming.
you hear an uncoordinated symphony of voices, but you can’t comprehend a word. in pursuit of clarity, you force yourself to open your eyes.
the voices grow a little louder. faceless figures hover you; a bright light shines over your face.
your senses must be playing cruel tricks. now it feels like you’re drowning, sinking into the unknown, and your body has succumbed into numbing defeat.
you want to sleep a little more.
you must truly be exhausted. it’s okay.
you’ve fought hard until now. you’ve done enough… has anyone tried in life as much as you did?
just as your eyes flutter shut, you regain sensation of your hand; a soft squeeze and a call of your name.
—
jungkook gently strokes your hair, sighing for the nth time since you got transferred to a private room. he’s relieved that all the scans came back clean so serious head and brain injuries have been ruled out. the doctor also asked him questions and ran some other tests before concluding that electrolyte imbalance caused you to pass out; the culmination of stress and fatigue from work, as well as your strong period, most likely being the main reasons. he didn’t even know about the latter until you stained the white sheets with blood.
it was fucking frightening being in the sidelines as they rushed to check on your vitals and to administer oxygen. even now, it’s unbearable to see you with a needle in your hand and a few stitches above your eyebrow. he already anticipated you not being pleased with having to get stitches specifically either; gasping and sitting up as soon as you heard the word come from his lips post-consciousness. consequently, the dizziness hits you. the doctor wasn’t happy about that.
“this is so annoying. i don’t want a scar.” you whine as you study your face on the camera of jungkook’s phone. “did i have to fall on my prettier side?”
“what are you saying? you’re pretty from any angle.” he interjects. “be careful. the wound might open up.”
you jut out your bottom lip, looking up at him with glassy eyes. the sight instantly tugs at his heartstrings, and he pulls you in for a hug. maybe he’s a little sad that you don’t appear concerned about the fact that you passed out, but god is he relieved to finally hear your voice again.
“ah, i should call the doctor.”
but his face remains buried in your hair.
“they told me to do so.”
“you should-”
“why?!” he abruptly reacts, drawing back. “does anything hurt?”
“chill. you said that they told you to.”
“oh, that’s right.” he sheepishly smiles. he can’t help but to overreact; he hasn’t turned off the alarms in his head. “i’ll go tell the nurse to get her.”
he starts to walk towards the door, but a tug at his shirt holds him back.
you shyly look at him with a scrunch of your nose. “i’m nervous. hug me for five more seconds.”
fuck, he would move heaven and earth to protect you from everything that can cause you harm.
“why would you be nervous? i’m right here.” he scolds you lightheartedly, not hesitating to seize the chance to hug you again. “i love you.”
“i love you more.”
you pull away after five seconds, and he’d be disappointed about you being too true to your words if you didn’t kiss him on the cheek so ardently.
his heart almost jumps out of his chest when you gasp out of nowhere as if you just realized that you left the gas tank open at home. your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.
“bam!”
oh, right. your child.
“my brother’s house!” he eases your mind.
you breathe out in relief, the heel of your palm pressing against the left side of your chest where your heart lives. “good… i was worried. he was probably more scared because he didn’t understand what was going on. i feel bad.”
you love bam so much; it makes him so happy. you’re so concerned about him even when you’re the one on the hospital bed. you make pretty good parents, huh?
“that’s right. he was worried about you, too. that’s why you need to recover quickly so he won’t be sad!”
—
the doctor kindly asked jungkook to give the two of you some time alone, so he’s been idly sitting at the lobby after buying a bottle of water. he’s pretty much used to visiting the hospital for routine checkups considering the nature of his job, but it always feels strange to be here for the other different purposes of the place.
is there any other building sadder than this?
if you heard him utter this question, he could easily predict what you’d say: but is there any other building with more love?
if he tries hard enough, he could listen to your voice and paint you in his mind.
you see love in every place that you step foot into.
his curious eyes continue to wander around. he spots people carrying flowers, baskets, and containers of food. there’s also a teenage boy in his high school uniform, carrying a teddy bear larger than him.
not that he wants you to stay longer, but if you have to, he writes down a mental note to bring one of your favorite plushies.
he eventually gets tired; considers scrolling on his phone again, but he decides against it when his gaze lands on a little boy sleeping soundly on his mother’s lap. suddenly, he is reminded of his childhood before he moved to seoul.
how simple life can be when you’re innocently sleeping on your mother’s lap, trusting that everything will be alright.
“ah, i miss my mom…” he utters absentmindedly. “i miss my mom so much. i should call her.”
his reminiscing is interrupted when a wheelchair rolls by infront of him. it is leisurely being pushed by an old man who wants to bring his wife outside for some fresh air.
in a parallel universe somewhere, jungkook can imagine them as you and him.
he sits up straight, looking back at the clock on the wall.
how long has it been? he wants to be by your side again.
—
“jungkook!” your face lights up as soon as your boyfriend steps into the room. “what took you so long?”
“i know. sorry, baby. i got a little distracted outside.”
“i’ve been waiting.” you pout. “why? were people bothering you?”
“not at all. don’t worry.”
you pat the empty space beside you. “here.”
“i think the bed is meant for only one person- damn, okay, okay-”
he swiftly gives in upon seeing the hurt on your face, occupying the space you reserved for him. “i love you. don’t be sad.”
you’re aching too much to wait for him to get settled. you wrap your arms around his waist like you’re a magnet attracted to steel, clinging to him for comfort.
if you’re being honest, you don’t know how you feel about being in this situation. overwhelmed? maybe a tiny bit relieved. in the past, it didn’t matter whether you were sick or not. you needed to work or else it was guaranteed that you wouldn’t survive. life is easier now. you have the luxury to use this as a reason to take a break. you have someone who takes care of you as naturally as he breathes.
“how was the doctor?”
“she’s nice… she just asked me about the things i remember before i passed out. then about my work, diet, sleeping schedule… stuff like that.”
you pull away a little, just enough so you can see each other’s face. you squint at him suspiciously. “did you have to get an expensive room?”
he chuckles. “how did you know? they didn’t tell you that, did they?”
“i literally have the perfect view of the fountain from here!” you point at the large window behind you. “i just passed out. i would’ve been fine downstairs.”
“don’t say it like that. it could’ve been so much worse.” he says with knitted eyebrows, palm cupping the back of your head and caressing softly.
he heaves a sigh.
“i was so scared that you injured your head. seriously, i thought i’d go insane if i lost you! i went past the speed limit driving you here!”
the distress he was under is apparent. you can’t help but to be racked with the guilt. you always do this, making him worry himself to death. you don’t usually do it purpose, and that only makes you feel shittier.
“you’re right. i’m sorry.”
“well, i…” he sighs. “it’s okay. i know you didn’t want this either. it’s not your fault.”
you press your lips into a thin line. “it kind of is.”
your lost eyes meet, and a connection is established like it’s a constellation sending a secret message. your heart flutters when he giggles, dimples and starry eyes and crinkled corners.
“stop it. it’s impossible to scold you when you’re so cute and self-aware.”
“then don’t scold me.” you sniffle sadly to kindle pity in him. “i’ve had enough of it from the doctor.”
your brain still works well enough to help you escape from trouble. that’s a good sign, right?
“my poor baby.” he coos, cradling your cheeks.
his hands are warm. you put yours over them; a wordless signal telling him you don’t want him to go away.
“let’s not get hurt again, please. we need to stay healthy and take good care of ourselves so this won’t happen again, alright?”
you nod in obedience. your eyes are fixed on him but you’re not certain if you’re registering what he’s telling you in your pitiful, shaken brain.
“the hospital already did me many favors. if we go back, i might have to build them another fountain as a gift.”
and knowing jungkook, with his golden heart and his black card, jokes become half-meant.
“what do they need that for?!”
he bursts out laughing, yet again, after you chide at him for his ridiculous and unnecessary expenses.
“nothing, i’m just grateful! i was really so scared but i’m relieved now thanks to them. i can’t remember the last time i felt that way.”
“you’re not scared of a lot of things.” you point out.
“that’s right.” he agrees. “only you scare me these days.”
you grimace. “am i scary?”
“you are, sometimes.” he laughs, squishing your cheeks together. “but i mean the things that could hurt you.”
as if on cue, your stomach grumbles and bellows like a monster stuck in an empty cave. your eyes grow twice its size in bewilderment, which then morphs into embarrassment.
“my stomach hurts.” you say quietly.
your nostrils flare as jungkook miserably fails to hold back his laughter. one of his hands leave your face, rubbing your tummy over the thin hospital gown.
“oh no, what are we going to do? where does it hurt? here?” he pouts. “should we go feed you now to make it go away?”
“what is wrong with you?” you slap his shoulder in annoyance. “i’m not a baby!”
“yah, be careful!” he yells, wincing as if he is the one in pain. “be gentle with the one with the iv!”
—
“you know one good thing that came out of this?” you gush out of nowhere.
you’re mixing up the ingredients of your bibimbap bowl with a spoon and a pair of chopsticks.
jungkook noisily drinks the final sips of his banana milk. afterwards, he makes a game out of shooting the box in the trash bin.
“what could that be?” he asks, doubtful.
he sits on the chair beside your bed. you greet him with a delighted grin, licking your thumb stained with gochujang.
“you proved your love. you committed a crime for me.”
he gasps to humor you, body freezing as if he’s currently processing the newly-learned information in his brain.
“oh? you’re right- i did! and you know what? i’d do it again!”
with a mouthful of rice, you shake your head in disagreement furiously. “you’re cute. but that’s the first and last.”
“but how are you sure that it’s the first?” he raises an eyebrow quizically.
silly enough, you envy him for being able to do so.
you hum in thought. “i guess you’ve stolen a few things for me, too.”
“few? you mean a loooot?”
“you’re the one who brings home food and random things.” you roll your eyes. “i never ask you to.”
“you told me you wanted the service bell!”
you feel yourself become flushed with sheepishness. he’s not lying. you’ve always found the object fascinating as a child, so you couldn’t help but to tell him to sneakily take one home after filming a competitive run bts episode.
did you have a silly phase where you and jungkook used it to summon each other just to laugh together about it?
perhaps.
“well, you’re rich. you could’ve bought me one instead.”
“but it was already there.” he reasons with a wide grin, gesturing infront of him. “i wanted to give it to my lover right away.”
his lover?
jungkook has successfully replaced your frown with an enamored smile.
“i made your heart flutter just now, didn’t i?”
a hospital stay has never felt this comfortable— not terrifying. you have stitches on your face and to add to that, this hospital gown feels super unflattering. somehow, your boyfriend’s loving gaze remains steady and you are melting.
“shut up,” you mutter, flustered, handing him the pair of chopsticks. “please eat with me. i can’t finish this on my own.”
—
“why would you let them put the needle in my dominant hand?”
you stomp your feet on the ground as jungkook squeezes some toothpaste onto a newly-bought toothbrush.
“i’m sorry! i was too stressed out so i just pointed! i think i got confused with- with left and right.”
you didn’t realize this while you were eating; that you were unconsciously holding the spoon with your non-dominant hand because the other felt uncomfortable. maybe because it was a simple task, scooping food and bringing it to your mouth. brushing your teeth, on the other hand… can be quite an arm workout.
“eeeee!”
he shows his complete set of teeth, urging you to do the same. you stare at him blankly.
“eeeee!” he repeats with heightened enthusiasm.
left with no other choice— you copy his awkward smile.
“there we go!” he praises you with an over-enthusiastic beam.
he carries on to brush your teeth, gingerly holding your chin to keep you steady as he does his job.
this is the first time jungkook is doing this for you. today is definitely not one of your finest moments. it feels a bit silly to be in this situation, and you feel bad for putting your boyfriend in this position in the first place. you can see that he’s trying his best—unnecessarily focused—and that he loves you, but you just hate giving him a hard time.
with a soft smile, he wipes the bubbles that overflowed past your lips.
“okay, spit.”
you spit out more of the bubbles on the sink. you assume that he’s finished, except he’s making another vowel sound for you to mimic the mouth shape of.
“ahhhh-”
“this is embarrassing!”
“baby, really? this is where you draw the line?” he playfully squeezes your cheeks together. “it’s almost over! ahhhh!”
and you let him do this thing, but not without a glare that is masking the embarrassing truth: you might be enjoying this more than you care to admit.
“see? was that so bad?”
as he tenderly pats your face dry in the aftermath, he says: “i’m sorry. bear with it a little more. let me take care of you so you’ll be healthy again.” and you feel every ounce of his sincerity pierce through the barriers surrounding your soul.
“stop it…” your voice suddenly comes out broken.
you want to put all the blame on your period for the tears that are now brimming your eyes, but jungkook is your biggest weakness of all and that is an explanation enough.
“why are you crying?” he panics. “what did i say?”
“it’s your fault.”
you break down into loud sobs, incapable of even keeping your eyes open. you never understood why we close our eyes when we cry, but right now, you know that you can’t bear to witness his reaction.
“you’re so sweet.”
the towel that was wiping the water from your mouth is now drying the tears from your stained cheeks.
“am i making you sad?”
you furiously shake your head. how could he say such a thing? he is the greatest joy of your life.
“no?”
“no!”
“okay, come here then.”
he wraps his arms around your trembling figure, caging you in the solace of his entire existence. a sense of calmness washes over your system, especially as he runs his hand across your back in gentle strokes. this isn’t his goal though, it seems. you hear none of his quiet shushes beseeching you to stop breaking his heart. he hopes you let go of everything that has been weighing on you, but he has already eased all your pains by loving you.
“ugh, i probably look horrible right now.” you force a chuckle to lighten up the mood, wiping your face with the back of your free hand. “i feel gross.”
“that’s not true.” he gazes at you fondly, brushing your hair with his fingers. “it’s actually infuriating how you look so beautiful still.”
“i know. i’m nice to look at; that’s why you tolerate my attitude.” you conclude in jest.
“yeah, sometimes.” he rides on the joke.
“what…?”
“i’m joking!” he rushes to take it back with a laugh. “of course i’m joking!”
you pout. “are you really?”
“oh, come onnnn.”
he coaxes you with a kiss on the lips— a good morning kiss long overdue. you’ve been spoiled rotten with affection; he knows you need more than one. he interrupts himself several times to kiss you.
“you know i’ll love you until our hair turns white and our skin all wrinkly.”
to be brutally honest, you’re not fond of imagining that far ahead. it’s daunting. you doubt your capability to age with grace. you’re horrified by the thought of having the majority of your life behind you. nostalgia has always been more bitter than sweet. but maybe this memory could be the sweetest of all, if jungkook truly stays by your side until then. in a cottage at the countryside like he said once, or a cabin by the ocean.
you’re both so young; so arrogant when it comes to making promises that are a shot in the dark. so fucking in love.
“me too.” you half-smile, scrunching your nose— a telltale sign of your joy. “now, get out. i really need to pee.”
his face becomes drained of blood. “but you’re st-”
“i won’t lock the door this time.” you cup his cheek, looking at his eyes reassuringly. “we don’t need property damage added to the bill.”
—
“did you not hurt yourself?”
“me?”
“you broke down the door. that’s not easy to do.”
you and jungkook make the best out of a bad deal. you’re squeezed together on the bed, browsing through television channels that seem to never end.
“it was easy because you were on the other side of it.”
that is what he claims confidently, but you are not fully convinced.
“wow, why do they have more channels than we do at home?”
“you didn’t answer my question.” you pout. “did you hurt yourself?”
“i didn’t hurt myself. i’m totally okay. i promise.”
he maintains eye-contact as he speaks. given the assurance, your tight chest unrestricts. jungkook is not a good liar. it’s a trait that causes him inconvenience every now and then, but it helps you to sleep soundly at night.
“should we just watch funny animal videos on youtube?”
“i guess that’s fine.”
it doesn’t show but you feel excitement run in your veins aside from the iv fluids that feel peculiarly cold.
from under your cheek, his chest vibrates with a giggle. “okay, hold on.”
as he pulls up the application, you tangle your legs together beneath the thin blanket. you hear the rapid tap tap tap of the remote control navigating the keypad while he types on the search bar, but your attention is someplace else. you’ve found the crook of his neck to sneak into, lazily kissing every inch of his exposed skin. your lips eventually trail up to his jaw. he smells so nice. you’re addicted.
“baby, someone can enter any minute.”
“i’m not doing anything.” you mumble.
you smile against his lips when he gives you a kiss as sweet as honey anyway.
“i’m curious about another thing.”
“what’s that?”
“did you cry?”
he comes to a still. the answer to that question requires a little time and thought.
“almost…”
“why almost?”
“no time. i had to bring you here, of course.” he replies.
you huff a laugh, exhaling a twinge of melancholia. “don’t cry.”
“i won’t. i’m happy now because you’re awake and fighting with me.”
“ow-”
your cry of pain is silenced when he squeezes you in an embrace that makes it nearly impossible to breathe.
“red panda!”
a squeal assaults both of your hearing as soon as your eyes land on the wide screen infront of the bed.
“i want one so fucking bad.”
the enunciated curse makes your boyfriend crack up in amusement. “that much?!”
—
jungkook opens his eyes to a nurse lightly nudging him awake.
“i’m sorry, i had to wake you up. i need to check vitals and draw blood.”
“shit, i’m sorry.” he panics.
his brain is foggy from the nap, but he still carefully sits up on the bed, wary of the iv line connected to your hand.
“i… was tired and i fell asleep.”
“it’s no problem; don’t worry.”
she smiles at him, but he doesn’t see it.
“you look adorable sleeping.”
“ah, really?” he awkwardly responds, absentminded. “it’s embarrassing.”
he stands on your side, about to disturb your peaceful rest much as it makes his heart ache with guilt, but you’re already stirring due to the absence of his warmth.
your heavy eyelids blink at the nurse in curiosity. “oh… do you need my blood?”
“yes, but i’ll take your blood pressure and temperature first.”
“okay,” you mumble, offering your arm. “it might be higher now because i’m scared.”
she chuckles at your joke. jungkook tries to share an endeared look with her and non-verbally communicate adorable, right?
“i promise i’ll be quick. although we definitely want it to be higher than earlier’s.”
you wince as the cuff around your upper arm goes as tight as it could, and you sigh at the same time that it begins to deflate.
“good, good, good,” she chants with a mumble. “it’s back in the normal range again…”
she brings out a digital thermometer from her pocket.
“you know where this goes.”
she hands it over to you, and you awkwardly place it in your armpit, holding it in place. it’s quiet as you wait for the device to make the beeping sound, except for her pen creating friction with your chart as she takes down notes.
“how’s your stitches? do you feel any discomfort?”
“it’s fine. thank you.”
not long after, you hear the beep. you return the thermometer to her, but not before taking a peak at the numbers displayed on the tiny screen. 36.8°C. you think you’ll live.
“i’ll draw your blood now.”
the nurse’s voice is sweet and reassuring, but it doesn’t quite ease the nervousness evident on your expression. your pupils shake as you watch her disinfect the area, and then comes out the long needle.
another one, jungkook laments inside.
“____, i’m right here.”
you crane your head, whimpering out his name. “jungkook,”
“it will be just a pinch. i’m inserting the needle now, alright?”
you take a sharp inhale.
if only he could switch positions with you, he would do it in a heartbeat. unfortunately, all he can do is caress your hair and whisper that it will be over soon.
“it hurts.” your damp eyelashes flutter, face twisting in discomfort. “i don’t like it.”
really, just a pinch? obviously a lie.
“hey, baby. look at the tv.”
the autoplay was left turned on after you fell asleep together. inside the screen is a puppy rolling around a snow-covered lawn. the wagging of its tail, the wide smile, and the pupils as big as boba balls: they all scream the happiness of an innocent.
“it’s so cute… i miss bam already. can we go to a dog park again?”
“of course!”
that promise sparks your smile. you turn to your side, and jungkook also catches a glimpse of the cotton taped to where you were poked.
“all done. you can go back to resting.”
“thank you. will you need to take blood again?” you inquire at the nurse.
“hm, probably. it depends on the doctor based on the results we get from this one.”
“can’t you just do it while i’m asleep? or is that not allowed?”
“baby…” jungkook snorts, hiding his face behind the palm of his hands.
the nurse laughs at your desperate suggestion. “that is honestly not a rare request, but the thing is… you might wake up in the middle of it and injure yourself. we can’t do that.”
“that won’t be a problem!” you passionately argue your case. “i’m a deep sleeper. seriously!”
“ah, thank you so much for your hard work!”jungkook intervenes, bowing to the nurse out of respect and gratitude. “i’m sure you’re busy. i will handle this!”
“oh yes, yes- thank you. please don’t forget the medicine for after dinner.”
“i won’t!”
“if you need anything, you know where to find me again.”
“yes,” he nods, chuckling. “thank you.”
“then i should leave…? but you’ll see me again later! bye!”
the door shuts, and his attention lands on your unimpressed form: a blank stare and arms folded infront of your chest.
uh-oh.
“did she seriously wink while saying that?”
“what?” he freezes, genuinely clueless. “i don’t know. i didn’t see anything. i was looking at you.”
“i’m right here- i’m the patient. why would you need anything from her? huh? why is she so excited to see you again?” you ramble angrily.
“right?!”
he climbs on the bed, reclaiming his spot next to you.
“that was weird.”
“what if she made it hurt on purpose? that…” you frown, glancing at your arm. “that didn’t really feel like a pinch to me.”
“ey, calm down. she wouldn’t.” he makes a doubtful face, laughing off the accusation. “…i don’t think so?”
you blink, exhaling in disbelief. “are you taking her side now?”
“of course not! baby, i’m just saying… a professional won’t do that.”
“why not? she’s still human. humans do stupid things when they like someone. she obviously likes you.”
“and so what?”
he grins with a spark of mischief, leaving an inch of a distance between your lips.
“i’m obviously yours.”
but you turn your cheek and your eyes fall on your lap, a pout highlighting your downcast mood.
“it’s so annoying.”
the regret sinks in after. he should’ve stuck to the golden rule: agree with everything that you say. there’s no point in having an argument no one will win. does it matter who’s right and wrong if each other’s sadness is contagious in addition to their own? your gut has almost always been right, and he’s old enough to be conscious of not allowing a stranger to put a dent on your relationship.
“are you serious? are you uncomfortable?” he tilts his head to try and get a better look at your face. “should i request for a different nurse?”
it’s quiet for a beat and he feels inclined to fill the silence with whatever enters his mind.
“i love you.”
almost immediately, your features soften and he knows your heart is also melting. the two of you bite the inside of your cheeks to hide a smile.
“no, there’s no need for that.”
but he still can’t help but to be worried. your peace of mind is his top priority. he doesn’t want you to be more stressed out, especially by things that he has the power to solve.
“are you sure?”
“she pissed me off. i need to piss her off too.”
of course, his ever stubborn and competitive lover. he sits up properly, amused and curious.
“and how will you do that?”
“i don’t know,” you nonchalantly shrug. “i’ll come up with something.”
—
“come up with what?”
to your surprise, a voice you haven’t heard in weeks echoes from the door.
“mom…?”
you’re stunned after only hearing yourself react to jungkook’s mother’s unexpected entrance. your head whips to his direction; your eyes wordlessly interrogating him.
“i need to go to work so i called her to watch over you.” he explains.
“why would you do that?” you argue with him as quietly as possible, lips barely moving as you try to hide your face from your mother-in-law. again, not one of your finest moments. “you didn’t have to. i can take care of myself.”
“but you don’t have to because you have us.”
jungkook marks the conversation finished with a kiss pressed to your temple, leaving you dumbfounded. he jumps off the bed and for a split second, you make eye-contact with his mother before he towered over her for a quick hug.
her kind smile is embroidered in your memory; a memory that wraps your heart in a type of warmth only a mother can provide.
“mom! i’m sorry. i really, really, really need to leave now. but! i’ll try to come back early so you can go home early too.”
“aigoo, stop stressing yourself out.”
jungkook receives a slap on the back, somehow more loving can scolding.
“i can stay the night so do what you need to do. you don’t have to worry.”
“it’s not only because i’m worried!”
she sassily puts a hand over her waist. it takes everything in you not to laugh out loud.
“then what else?”
“mom! what else?” he cheekily smiles. “of course i’ll miss ____ too much.”
did your boyfriend just…? to his mother? your jaw becomes slack from the shame.
“i missed ____ too!” she contests. “go to work and give us our alone time.”
you shyly smile when she transfers her attention from her son to you.
“hello, my baby. are you hungry?”
—
“does my son feed you well?”
“he does! but it’s funny- other mothers ask the opposite. are you feeding my son well? do you make sure he’s comfortable?”
you think out loud, transfixed on how she peels oranges with ease. your hands would always be stained by the juices, (and eyes red and teary from accidental splashes) (it’s too embarrassing to even think about) but hers are still magically clean.
“is that so?”
you graciously accept the slice she feeds you. she laughs when your face lights up like a christmas tree one more time. it’s way sweeter than you anticipated. you can’t get over how delicious it is.
“mhmm!”
perhaps you relied too much on dramas when it came to your expectations of what a relationship with your in-laws would look like. you imagined yourself running around like a dog trying to prove yourself worthy of their son, yet for some reason, it looks like they adore you for simply existing. it makes you feel extremely grateful, but you don’t understand.
“mom, i have a question… i know it’s probably too late to ask this now, but…”
“what could that be?”
“are you really not against me and jungkook living together?” you swallow your fear of the possibility of an unpleasant truth. “are you not… worried… that i’m receiving too much from him?”
because you would understand the apprehension. as a parent, one’s main concern would be their child. to outside eyes, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that jungkook is being taken advantage of and he’d be better off dating someone with the same status. sometimes you wish you were that someone too.
she utters your name sadly.
“he receives happiness and love from you. those are the most valuable things you could give to a person.”
she caresses your hair like she wants to erase the anxiety poisoning your mind.
“my dear, how come you’re worried about that until now? haven’t we told you? you’re part of the family. forget about my sister! i don’t welcome her negativity in our house!”
“living together is different. it’s a big deal. it normally happens in a relationship after…” the following words feel foreign in your mouth; they come out quieter than the rest of your sentence. “getting married.”
“then tell me. why did you agree to live with him?”
because you’re selfish. because you want more time that you can have him all to yourself. because you want to be accessible— the first person he runs to when he’s seeking comfort and stability. because you want goodnight and good morning kisses. because you were afraid of the risks but you’ve grown addicted to the thrill of love.
“he said… no matter how hard i push him away, he will stay within my reach.”
you hear your own shaky breathing. that moment— it’s still burned into your memory. you’re still holding on to it. it’s a promise he is yet to break and you pray that he never, ever does.
“i don’t want to push him away. i want to be within his reach too.”
you’re two people loving each other with everything within your means. after the endless pains and the deafening noise, you like to think that’s what makes this relationship worth fighting for.
“does my opinion still matter knowing that? will you let me stop you?”
“no, i won’t. i’d make you change your mind.”
if you had a machine connected to you, she would see how your heart rate has gone off the charts. but you’re known to say whatever’s on your mind and that, much to your dismay, isn’t switched off despite sitting infront of the woman who birthed and raised the love of your life.
you sniffle, pursing your lips nervously. “but i feel like there might be a right answer to that one.”
what you didn’t expect was her to laugh until her belly hurts; placing a hand over her mouth in an effort to calm herself down and keep grace.
“mom! stop, i’m so embarrassed!”
“no, ____, don’t get me wrong!”
she is teary-eyed as she gathers herself together.
“the more time i spend with you, the more i realize why jungkook loves you so much. i’ve seen him show incredible commitment twice. do you know that? first, when he went to seoul to become a singer. second, when he told us he got an apartment because he wants to be with you… of course, as his mother, i’ll admit that he’s young when he made those decisions, but he always proves to me that he’s smart and responsible.”
the urge to cry returns and strengthens as she speaks. you feel your eyelashes become damp with unshed tears. you don’t know how to act. you fiddle with your fingers. you stare at the strings and peels of the oranges you can still taste.
“i believe we both know jungkook’s personality well. he wouldn’t have let me stop him either. i’m happy to know that you’ll fight for him too.”
“thank you…”
“tsk, tsk, tsk- what is there to cry about? jungkook will get angry at me if he discovers that i made you cry.”
she wipes away your tears; however, the unmistakable scent of oranges that has clung to her hands and the affection in her tone bring forth a waterfall.
“seeing this makes me sadder.” she laments, referring to the stitches on your face.
“me too,” you babble in the midst of quiet sobs. “it makes me sad. it’s so ugly.”
—
you can’t remember the last time you felt this alone. perhaps it’s the effect of staying in an unfamiliar building of complete strangers. without your mobile phone, may you add. you managed to persuade jungkook’s mother to leave an hour ago because you didn’t want her to sleep on the uncomfortable couch.
the lights are turned off except for the lamp beside your bed, and with the television muted, you could hear a hairpin drop.
you’re alone and you can do whatever you want.
you dragged the visitor’s chair infront of the window to admire the garden like it’s a painting in motion. you watched people converse, stroll, and drink coffee. you watched them run for shelter when the clouds became too heavy and the sky began to fall. oh, so that’s why you couldn’t see the stars.
at this moment, there’s nothing left to amuse yourself with but the trembling of the leaves and the raindrops forming temporary rings when they fall in the water fountain.
your senses crave for more. you reach over and crack open the window, just enough to allow the sound of the rain and the scent of it permeating the earth to enter your room.
“this is kind of peaceful.” you whisper, amazed by the new lightness carried by your heart.
you close your eyes and you breathe in the petrichor deeply. you want nature in your lungs as a reminder that you’re alive. you welcome the cold wind kissing your face. you can feel your hair touching your neck. you always do, but for once, you’re choosing to acknowledge it. your thumb slowly brushes across the palm of your hand, perceiving the texture of your skin, the softness, and the lines. and your feet, they’re in the clouds, the fluffy slippers jungkook’s mother bought outside because she knows they’re your favorite to wear.
you’ve loved and despised this body for a million different reasons. your mind and heart have accepted defeat countless times, but your body wakes up to every brand new day without fail. your body implores you to live. did it finally give up on you today?
“baby!”
you look behind to search for the source of the sound.
you get your answer from the kiss planted on your lips.
you only saw his face for a split second, but even if you had your eyes closed, you’d know it has to be jungkook kissing you.
you can smell him. you’ve memorized the way the shape of his lips fits with yours.
oh, the sounds of his kisses too. you like to call them the butterfly call because they make butterflies appear in your stomach.
you could trace the scar on his cheek with your finger if you want to.
god, what a privilege it is to experience life in this vessel.
a knock on the door forces you to part too early. the same nurse from earlier enters and you internally scream all the curse words in your dictionary. jungkook acknowledges her with a bow and a quick ‘hello’ before squatting down infront of you.
“i committed another crime for you today.”
“huh?”
your wide, confused eyes take a glimpse at the nurse who is doing something with the controls of your iv line.
hahaha… she knows he’s not serious, right?
“what did you do?”
his smile is so big that his eyes have turned into little crescent moons. you’d make a guess but there is an infinite amount of things jungkook could possibly be this excited about.
…apparently, one of them would be strawberry cake.
you gape at the transparent box he was hiding behind his back all along.
“did you steal somebody’s birthday cake?!”
“it’s a producer’s birthday and he received lots of cakes, so he told me i can take one home.”
“how is it stealing if he allowed you to take it?”
he tosses his backpack on the couch as he sets down the box on the table. he rummages through the bag his mother left behind, successfully bringing out a spoon. meanwhile, you get your blood pressure taken again.
as he opens the box, he sends a smirk your way.
“no. i hid the strawberry cake because there’s so many who wanted to eat it.”
“are you crazy?!”
the nurse clicks her tongue. “don’t talk and stay still, please.”
“oh,” your hand flies to your mouth on instinct. “i’m sorry.”
“i’m sorry.” jungkook also apologizes.
you and your boyfriend secretly share a look, exchanging a smile that is stifled laughter inside. your lips remain zipped as the nurse restarts the process of taking your blood pressure. on the other hand, jungkook eats a spoonful of cake, teasingly wiggling his eyebrows at you. you roll your eyes and he tries harder to laugh without a sound.
seconds later, he grumbles about the room being too warm. he wipes the beads of sweat on his forehead using the back of his hand, and he does the worst thing he could possibly do at this moment. he reaches for his back, pulling his sweater over his head. naturally, his inner shirt rides up and allows wandering eyes a peak at his glorious toned abdomen.
passed out in the shower. busted your eyebrow open. front-row seat for a woman flirting and ogling at your boyfriend.
how fucking great.
“hello? i think it’s done.” you snap.
“a-ah, yes.”
you hear her swallow as she removes the cuff from your arm. she may be wearing a mask but she’s hot and red all the way to her ears. you’ve only read about it in books. you didn’t even believe this could happen in real life until now.
“i will check your temperature too.”
“go on.”
you repeat the same process from hours earlier, drumming your fingers on your thigh as you wait for the beep.
“yah, why is the window open? you’ll catch a cold.”
jungkook, yet again, steals the attention of every person in the room when he rises to his feet. his shadow casts over you as he closes the window.
“i wanted to smell the rain.”
“is the room getting too stuffy for you?”
you shrug. “i just wanted to smell the rain.”
you feel the nurse’s stare. you offer her a smile and her nameplate briefly gets caught by your vision. kang ji-woo.
“ji-woo; that’s a pretty name.” you pay her a sincere compliment. “it’s healing, don’t you think?”
“yes? uh-uhm, y-yes…” she replies, unsure and confused by the sudden small talk. “actually, it’s been linked to a reduction in stress and anxiety levels.”
“thank you! babe, did you hear that?”
“uhuh, think about my stress and anxiety levels.” he leans against the window with his arms crossed, raising an eyebrow at you.
so now he’s flexing his arm muscles. cool, cool, cool. you know he’s not doing it on purpose and his entire existence is just naturally hot and it’s infuriating.
“i’ve been worried sick about you all day.”
his statement makes you frown for a new reason. at the same moment, the thermometer beeps.
“could you please tell him that i’m fine?”
“37.3, uhhh- that’s slightly above normal. how do you feel? does your head hurt? are you cold?”
“i feel fine though?”
“okay. please take a lot of rest and stay warm…” her gaze lingers at jungkook who is blocking the window. “keep the window closed. hopefully it won’t be higher when i check again later.”
seriously?! you could cry. you want to go home where it’s comfortable. where it’s only you and jungkook and bam.
but you bet somebody would be happy if you had to stay longer.
“i’ll look after ____.” your boyfriend sighs, pulling out a jacket from his backpack.
“you shouldn’t have kissed me. what if you get sick?”
your blatantness causes the nurse to pause in updating your chart. she awkwardly clears her throat. “yeah… that… that isn’t currently advisable.”
“i’m sorry. i’ll control myself.”
you earn a glare from jungkook, then he fakes a smile which you gladly return.
“before you go, may i request for a new blanket? sorry, i spilled something earlier.”
“sure thing! i’ll come back with that right away.”
—
“she seemed happy to leave.” jungkook remarks. “i can’t tell if you were actually being nice or being passive aggressive.”
you smile innocently, taking a bite off the strawberry you stole from the top of the cake. “i’m a fucking angel.”
damn it, why is he suddenly turned on?
were you serious about the no kiss rule?
“would you rather i be the type to pull their hair?”
he shakes his head with a laugh. “but you did slap someone once.”
“you want to see me that furious again?”
“never in my wildest dreams.”
he kisses the top of your head, producing an exaggerated ‘mmmwah!’ sound that makes you giggle happily.
“here, have some more cake.”
he offers you a spoonful of cake.
no, it’s bigger.
as a matter of fact, the piece could probably pass off as a cupcake.
you gawk at it as if you’re figuring out the logistics of putting it in your mouth. his heart does a flip when you tilt your head and do your best to take in the whole thing. however, in the middle of it, you decide that you can’t, and you end up biting it off a little more than halfway.
oh my god, he loves you. he loves you. you’re so fucking cute.
your cheeks are full as you struggle to chew. you cover your mouth with your hand but they don’t touch. you’re so elegant in your ways and sometimes he wonders how you’re still attracted to him after he acts stupid.
also, plain white nails? that’s new. you always want colors.
“your nails look pretty.”
he is so focused on you that he fails to take notice of another presence occupying the room.
“your mom did them for me.”
“i figured. she wants to do mother-daughter things with you.”
the short break of silence speaks volumes. you look at him, blinking with eyes hinting at a type of joy you’re lost on how to express.
“did you choose white?”
“no. we were watching a drama and it was the couple’s wedding.”
oh, that makes total sense.
“let me guess,” he trails off with a half-embarrassed, half-entertained smile. “she asked when we will get married?”
“why would she ask me that? how would i know?” you scoff.
his heart starts at a thousand miles per hour. fuck, are you hinting at him? are you messing with his feelings again? with you, he always needs to remind himself to be rational.
“i need more time to prove to you that i’m husband material.”
“what? stop it. i don’t care. i don’t need a ring.”
your unpredictableness pushes him to the edge of his seat.
“don’t pressure yourself. you already treat me way better than most husbands do their wives.”
the pride painted on your face is unmistakable. he feels his heart swelling in his chest. has he been doing a better job than he originally thought? after what happened today, he was terrified that he hasn’t been paying enough attention to you.
“i’m so happy with what we have.”
you offer him a delicate smile before eating the rest of the cake that was left on the spoon. he swears there’s a glowing halo above your head.
could your temperature have magically dropped in the past five minutes? would you kill him if he kissed you right now?
“is there anything else i could assist you with?”
and then he is rudely snapped out of his hopeless adoration and daydreaming.
“that’s all! thank you for your hard work!” you chirp.
he turns to the nurse with a lovesick grin.
“please come to our wedding.”
the unforeseen wedding invitation earns him a slap on the chest. he clutches the affected area, wincing in pain.
he hears you mutter. “don’t invite strangers to our wedding.”
the irritated glare he predicted to face isn’t there. rather, you’re wearing the flustered smile he only sees when he knows that he did something to make you fall for him all over again.
before ji-woo left, she tried to subtly reject the invitation by jokingly saying that she’d die to go, but most probably, she’d have to work that day. you know… being an overworked hospital employee and all. you caught her glancing at you with bitterness failed to be guised as indifference. you get it. you’d hate it if another person was in your place. frankly speaking, you could be miles pettier.
your boyfriend wipes the corner of your lips, thoughtless as he licks off the cake frosting from his thumb.
damn it, you wish she was also here for that.
“you haven’t stopped smiling.”
“you love me and you never let me forget that.”
you give an answer despite the lack of a question mark.
you just made his world stop spinning on its axis and you’re not even aware.
jungkook knows the heavenly feeling of knowing that he is loved, but he has never deeply considered the joy and relief when the person he loves believes that he loves them.
“i’m so lucky. i love you.”
you push yourself up to plant a kiss on his forehead. it’s a rarity he treasures and keeps.
“i love you too.”
he cries infront of you.
almost.
he excuses himself to the bathroom and cries in there a little.
you’re so easy to love— that’s why it makes him want to do difficult things for you. like commit more crimes?
#jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook drabble#jungkook scenario#jungkook imagine#jungkook one shot#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#jungkook au#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#bts fluff#bts reaction#jungkook smut
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anatomy of a vampire | 02

a young man returns to a small town he hasn't seen in years, and a house he hasn't lived in since before the last president was born, only to find that a stray cat has given birth to kittens in his closet.
pairing: vampire!jk x nerdy f veterinarian!reader (with a special interest in the science and biology aspect of the supernatural lol)
genre: sorta scifi-ish, fluff, minor angst, some smut later on
word count: 4.6k
warnings: none in this part really <3
rating: NC-17 – Adults Only
masterlist
part 2/?
<previous | next>
© anatomy of a vampire is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

Only a few days later, Momo knocks on the door to the small administrative office, where you’re busy entering info into a patient’s digital chart. She’s holding one of the clinic’s old phones to her chest.
“It’s Jeon. The guy with the cats.”
Your eyes widen slightly, and you accept the phone from her with a grateful nod, quickly pressing ‘unmute’. Honestly, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about the man and his kitties for more than a few hours at a time, so the reminder wasn't really necessary.
“Hello?” you greet once you have the device pressed to your ear.
“Hey, it’s… uh, Jeongguk. Jeon Jeongguk. With the kittens.”
You smile at his voice and how it sounds like he isn’t sure of what to say. Not like he’s nervous or anything, just… unsure of his words. But his voice is exactly like you remembered it, deep and smooth, and in contrast to his words: confident.
“I remember,” you say softly. “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, uh, mostly, but I’m not sure the smaller one is eating properly.”
The smile fades from your lips, and you use one hand to pull the wheeled chair you’re sitting on closer to the desk in front of you. “Is it trying to nurse? Are mom and siblings letting it?”
“Yeah, I think so, but… I don’t know. I weighed her, but she hasn’t gained much.”
Even though you don’t know the sex of the kitten, his use of ‘she’ doesn’t pass you by.
“What does she weigh?”
“Ninety-five grams.”
“Oh, okay,” you say, pulling up the digital chart from your home visit to find the kitten’s previous weight. Eighty-one grams. “Yeah… I’d really like for her to be gaining a bit more.”
“Would it be possible for you to stop by? Check her out? I’d take her to you, but they’re still so small.”
“Of course, let me check my schedule,“ you say, moving the phone to your left hand, scrolling through the day’s scheduled appointments with your right. “I have patients until five, but I could be at yours at… five-thirty? Would that work for you?”
“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you.”
“Good, no problem! If you can, maybe prepare some way to keep mom cat away. Or at least willing to cooperate like last time.”
“Sure, I’ll see what I can do,” he says, and you can practically hear the growing smile in his voice, even over the phone. You smile too, and while you’re definitely a little worried about the kitten, your heart definitely also skips a beat at the thought of seeing the kitten's person again.

The house is warm and toasty, feeling almost like a home, when you step inside, a stark contrast to the chilly old house you visited last time. Jeongguk steps back to let you through, and you slip your shoes off automatically this time, glancing down at the clearly freshly mopped floorboards.
“You cleaned,” you comment, smiling widely as you lift your head, meeting his eyes.
“I did.”
The way he’s looking down at you as he waits for you to remove your jacket has butterflies frantically flapping their wings in your stomach. It’s just something about him; how he looks and how he carries himself. It’s only been a few days since you saw him, but it’s like he’s even more handsome now. Maybe it’s because he’s only wearing a dark green t-shirt and black shorts, leaving a lot more skin visible. Not that the hoodie and jeans weren’t attractive, because they were, but with bare skin comes more muscles and veins. And Jeongguk seems to be covered in both.
As he leads the way like last time, you find yourself particularly distracted by his broad back and the veins running down the back of his arms, intricately spanning his forearms. Hot.
“They’re not upstairs?” you ask when you suddenly notice that he's walked past the staircase.
He peers at you from over his shoulder. “No, they’re in here. I started the fireplace, and she moved them all downstairs.”
He guides you into the living room, where the soft and slow crackle from the fireplace reaches your ears and the heat warms your skin through your scrubs.
Someone meows, and you turn your head. There, in the corner, placed at an appropriate distance from the fire, is the grey cat bed you recommended. The whole family is nestled into it, and even though it’s only been a few days, the kittens are definitely more lively.
“Cats like heat,” you confirm, grinning at the sight.
As long as the fire is properly secured from soon-wandering kittens—which it is, considering the black safety screen surrounding it—and the room doesn’t get too hot, you’d say it’s safe. Maybe even preferable, if the house is otherwise on the colder side.
“Yeah, I noticed,” he chuckles. “And read about it online.”
You set your bag down on the floor and lock eyes with Mother Cat. Her big, yellow eyes track your every movement, and while she seems calm enough with you in the room, you’d rather not upset her further.
“What do we do with her?” you ask nodding toward her.
“I figured I can just…”
You watch as Jeongguk approaches the bed, bends down, and lifts what you assume is the smallest kitten. No one protests; neither the kitten nor its mother.
When he turns back to you—the little black kitten presented in his large palm—he notices your surprise.
“I weigh them.”
“And she just lets you?”
Obviously you knew he’s weighed them, but you didn’t realize he could just grab them from the bed without their mother disagreeing.
“...Yeah?”
Your surprised face turns into a big grin and a laugh of disbelief escapes you because that’s so endearing. He can’t possibly be a bad man, right?
“She really, really likes you.”
He doesn’t reply, but his smile is happy as he motions for you to take a seat on the pale green velvet couch. You do, watching Jeongguk helpfully move your bag closer. The kitten cries a little in your hands, softly wiggling around but not as much as it probably should.
To make sure you didn't miss anything during your last visit and that nothing's happened since either, you gently pry open its mouth, looking inside. If it’s injured or orally underdeveloped in some way, that could cause problems eating. But you can’t see anything abnormal this time either.
“No injuries or deformities…” you mumble, placing the little kitten in your lap as you consider your next steps. There are essentially two options, each with their own pros and cons.
Jeongguk sits down as well, leaving an appropriate distance but facing you so he can see what you’re doing. Simply to make it harder for you to focus, he of course places his arm on the back rest, giving you a pretty show of his impressive bicep and that veiny forearm as it rests between you.
“So, what’s the plan?”
His deep voice breaks you out of it, and you turn your focus back to the kitten, biting your lip as you consider for a moment.
“Well, she looks pretty okay otherwise, so…if you want me to, I can show you how to hand-feed. Hopefully, she’s just had a bad start—maybe being pushed away by her siblings—and she’ll start to gain over the next few days even without help. Otherwise, we can try supplementary hand-feeding. Either you do it, say… twice a day for a few days until she gets back on track, or I take her with me and drop her off at a foster.”
Jeongguk doesn’t answer at first, and when you look at him, you see him watching the kitten in your lap, appearing deep in thought.
“But if she’s not with her mother then she’ll have to be bottle-fed a lot more often, right?”
You nod. “Yeah, every two to three hours or so.”
He lifts his eyes, meeting yours. “And ideally, you don’t want to move the others.”
“No. But we can.”
“To a foster? Are they busy?”
“Yeah. They… have a lot of cats to care for, but it’s something they want to do.”
He lets out a big breath, not disappointed, just as if to finalize his decision-making. “Show me how to do it, and I’ll try for a few days if she doesn’t get better.”
You look at him, trying to see what drives him. Most people who find a stray family of cats would be happy to send them off with a foster, especially if they don’t need to pay any vet bills or spend too much time taking care of them. And while you don’t get the feeling he’s ecstatic to maybe have to care for the kittens, he’s agreeing to it. ...Because he doesn’t want to burden the fosters more than they already are? That’s not a common thought process when it comes to men in your experience, but it's the only reason you can think of. Jeongguk’s dark, nearly black eyes watch you back. He’s… odd. Strange. Maybe not in the most obvious way, but there’s definitely something unusual about him.
“Okay. Here, hold her.”
He takes the kitten from you, watching as you kneel on the floor next to the bag, rummaging through it in search of the things you brought.
“So, this is kitten formula,” you explain, pulling out a small bottle already filled. “You never want to use regular cow’s milk. It can mess with their digestion.”
Jeongguk watches closely as you scoot closer to him, uncapping the bottle.
“You don’t want it too hot or too cold, just warm. Like body temperature.”
“Whose body temperature?” he asks, giving you a crooked smile that has your heart stuttering.
You grin. “Touché. Ours is easiest. You can touch a drop to the inside of your wrist like this to feel the temperature.”
He nods, carefully cradling the kitten in one hand. You can tell he’s being very careful, like he’s afraid of hurting her.
“So this is a good temperature. And when you feed her,” you hand him the bottle before gently adjusting the kitten’s position on his lap instead, “keep her belly-down, like this. Having her on her back can cause her to choke.”
He shifts slightly, focusing intently. “Do I just…?”
“Yeah, bring it to her mouth, just like that, a little tilted. She might not latch right away, so just be patient.”
It takes a few seconds and a little bump against the kitten’s mouth before she realizes what she’s being offered and clumsily opens her mouth.
“Like that, exactly. Just hold still and let her set the pace. Don’t squeeze it.”
Jeongguk glances up at you, dark eyes definitely a tad brighter. Your own smile is wide and encouraging. Slowly, the kitten’s tiny jaw moves rhythmically as she suckles at the bottle, and you catch yourself watching them both more than you probably should. He holds her just right, steady and gentle in his large hands, the bottle angled slightly. Clearly very focused, his eyebrows are drawn and his lips slightly parted.
Seeing him handle the tiny kitten so gently definitely doesn’t do anything to lessen the attraction you’re undoubtedly feeling. It’s just something about that helpless little being in his big hands—and the way the green t-shirt reveals the impressive veins spanning across his thick, muscular arms. Unsurprisingly at this point, veins are definitely one of your favorite things on a man.
To stop yourself before he kicks you out for being creepy, you let your gaze travel across the room instead. He’s obviously cleaned in here too, not a speck of dust to be seen.
“Can I ask… how come you own this house?” you say after a moment, breaking the soft silence. “We all thought it was abandoned. Like, ever since we were kids. And I take it no one’s actually lived here for a while? No offense. I’ve never seen you around either.”
Jeongguk, still watching the kitten in his lap, chuckles lightly. “None taken. It was passed down to me. I haven’t had the intention to live here, but I like this town. I guess I just haven’t been able to decide what to do with it.”
You hum, watching the kitten move its white front paws as if trying to climb closer to the bottle. You figure he must be kind of rich if he can afford to have a house just sit entirely empty in today’s economy, but you don’t mention that, aware that it’s really none of your business.
“Can I ask something?”
You look up at him, meeting his eyes. “Yeah, sure.”
“What… mythical creature would you say is most likely to actually exist?”
Well.
You assumed he’d ask something about the kitten or cats, or even just animals in general. Holding your breath, you put on a strained smile.
“Are you making fun of me?”
He’s quick to shake his head. “No. I’m just curious. You seem really knowledgeable in biology and anatomy and such.”
Biting your lip, you hesitate. Do you want to risk being made fun of? Ridiculed? But would he do that?
…Fuck it. Knowing a feeding usually takes at least five minutes but sometimes up toward fifteen, you might as well have something to talk about in the meantime. So you reach for your bag again, searching for something you usually only take out when you’re alone or among like-minded friends.
“Technically, like… physiologically speaking, zombies already exist.”
You open the little notebook, separate from the one you enter the patient’s info into, and open it to a page with a large, detailed drawing of an ant. You stay kneeled on the floor, holding the notebook up to him.
“See the stuff coming out of the ant’s head? That’s a fungus. Cordyceps. It infects the ant and turns it into a zombie, essentially.”
“What?” He looks at you, his eyes wide as he then focuses on the page, gaze flitting between the drawing of the ant and the little info box of handwritten text next to it.
“Yeah. It infects the ant through spores. It takes control of its nervous system and muscles directly, making the ant climb toward higher grounds that are more humid and favorable for the fungus. Meanwhile, the fungus feeds on the ant’s insides. When the ant finally dies, the fungus emerges from its head, releasing spores in hopes of infecting a new individual.”
“Oh, that’s definitely a zombie.”
“Right?” you smile, and it’s more genuine this time. Speaking about these things excites you, even if you try not to let it show too much.
“Similarly, there’s a parasite called Toxoplasma gondii that only reproduces inside a cat’s gut. To get there, it infects a bunch of other warm-blooded animals first—especially mice—because they’re easy targets, and cats eat them. Inside the mouse, the parasite hijacks its immune system to get around the body and to the brain where it messes with the mouse’s fear response. It makes the mouse fearless of cats; even makes it seek them out and taunt them in some cases. All so that the mouse gets eaten and the parasite can reach the cat’s gut to reproduce.”
There's a mix of disbelief and amazement in his gaze. “So it makes the mice just... serve themselves up?”
“Mhm.”
“And you drew that?”
“Uh… yeah,” you nod, cheeks warming.
“Can I see it?”
It’s the way he looks genuinely curious—and not at all like he’s looking for bullying ammunition to use against you—that has you handing him the book. He takes it, trying hard to focus on it as well as feeding the kitten on his lap.
“I’ll take her. Looks like you got the hang of it already,” you offer.
“Thanks,” he says, handing you the kitten first and then the bottle.
Even if he seems… sweet, your heart still beats nervously as you see him inspect the page closer. Or maybe that’s partially why. Looking up to meet your eyes, he curls a finger under the bottom of the page, silently asking for permission.
You nod, turning your attention down to the kitten. She latches onto the bottle again, seemingly fine with being handled by you.
Focused, Jeongguk looks through the following pages, each featuring some of your favorite biological traits. A dog’s nose. A snake’s fangs and its unfixed jaw that allows it to widen and swallow large prey. There’s a great white’s multiple rows of teeth and its ‘retractable’ eye.
“I mean… I’m not saying I believe things like… traditional zombies or werewolves exist…” you resume the conversation, feeling a little more at ease letting your fascination shine through, but also making sure he doesn’t think you’re entirely insane.
“...But?”
“But I find the anatomical aspect of them fascinating,” you continue. “Things like vampires and werewolves and dragons have popped up in folklore all over the world, independently of each other.”
Jeongguk nods, his eyes glued to the pages in your book.
“Again, I’m not saying I think they exist, just that the biology of them wouldn’t necessarily be as out there as people might think. If you think about it, a lot of organisms live on other creatures’ blood. Others go through drastic bodily changes—like some species of fish that change sex depending on population balance or dominance hierarchy. And there’s a frog—the wood frog—that can survive being frozen solid in winter. Like, no heartbeat, no breath, totally frozen, and then they thaw in spring and essentially come back to life.”
“Really?” he asks, eyebrows lifting.
“Mhm. And to see any of those traits in a humanoid?”
“...Would be interesting?”
“To say the least.”
He turns another page, glancing down at what you can’t see. His expression shifts with quiet amazement. “These are amazing.”
You smile, shyly glancing down at the kitten, “Thank you.”
Suddenly looking up from the book, Jeongguk directs his gaze forward, into the air, as he considers something. “So, if all these things existed, why do you think we don’t have any evidence?”
You shrug. “I mean, that’s definitely the most compelling evidence to suggest nothing like that actually exists. How likely would it be that not only one but maybe multiple supernatural humanoid species could exist without us ever finding any real evidence? First… I mean, maybe we have evidence? Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but it could just be kept from the public’s knowledge for some reason.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s true.”
“But… say that there’s a kind of humanoid that’s… smart but different from us? If the population is on the smaller side, say a few hundred at most, I think staying hidden could be doable. But it depends a lot on the circumstances. A being that is visually indistinguishable from a regular human would have a much easier time fitting in without drawing attention than something with… I don’t know, horns or something.”
Jeongguk smiles lazily at your dumb joke before he returns to looking deep in thought. “...So they’d hide?”
“I think that would be one of the more plausible explanations, yeah. Humans are scared of the unknown, and we tend to react… irrationally. Especially if the humanoid is something like a vampire that supposedly sustains itself on our blood.”
“Yeah. I guess it could be dangerous for them. There are so many humans as well. Strength in numbers and all that.”
“Exactly,” you nod.
“So,” he continues, breaking into a wide smile, “do you have a favorite?”
You chuckle, trying to ignore the beat your heart skips at the sight. He’s got such an attractive smile too. It’s very youthful, with white teeth and the charming trait of slightly pointy canines. “A favorite mythical creature?”
The fact that he’s asking you questions as if he genuinely wants to know your opinion, instead of teasing you about your fascination makes you really happy and almost… giddy.
“Uh… vampires. And dragons,” you say without having to think very long about it.
“How come?”
“Dragons because they’re insanely cool and kind of terrifying. Imagine a fire-breathing dragon? Like, an enormous flying dinosaur that breathes fire?”
Jeongguk nods eagerly. “Like the dragon in Harry Potter? The white one at… Gringotts in the later films? Or Smaug?”
“Yeah! But not Smaug,” you disagree quickly, shaking your head. “He’s too human. I don’t like that.”
Not only is he human; he's scary.
Jeongguk tilts his head. “But biologically speaking… Our souls stem from our brains, right? Why couldn’t a non-humanoid—like a dragon if they existed—develop a human or humanoid brain? Or just the equivalent? And the vocal cords and such to talk, of course.”
The little kitten burps in your lap, a sign that she’s done feeding for now. You put the almost empty bottle down on the small coffee table and lift her, dabbing away her little milk mustache with the sleeve of the white shirt you’re wearing under your scrub top.
“I’d rather not think about that,” you admit, almost shivering from discomfort. “If I do, I won’t be able to sleep anymore. There’s just something so wrong with that.”
Jeongguk laughs quietly, a very warm, masculine sound.
“And vampires being my favorite is not because they’re apparently all sexy,” you declare in order to defend your honor.
He laughs again, and it makes you smile. “They're my favorite because they’re so interesting. Regardless of what portrayal you choose, they’re all fascinating. Being bitten and turned into something that now preys on your previous kind? Or being born to look indistinguishable from your prey? Maybe being allergic to sunlight? Being both stronger and faster than humans while maintaining the same physique, visually? Being… practically indestructible and maybe immortal? Having fangs and venom to perhaps turn someone from prey to predator?”
Your hand pets the kitten’s back while you list off the things you love about vampires.
“So you’d like to see one if they happened to exist?”
“Oh please, it would be a dream. It’s like, all supernatural elements combined into one,” you explain, the nerd in you frothing at the mouth at the thought of getting to discover the biological secrets of a vampire.
He hums, closing your notebook and laying it on the table. “You said some creatures already live on blood, but is there a possibility a non-human humanoid could manage that?”
You let your gaze travel around the living room again as you think. It’s definitely a complex subject.
“It depends. Looking at humans, we need a certain amount of calories and nutrients to live. We need protein, fats, and carbs—well... mostly protein and fats—and a lot of different vitamins and minerals. Then we need fluids; that’s the most important for short-term survival.
"Blood, of course, contains water, but also protein and some vitamins and minerals. However, it’s neither very calorie-dense nor nutritionally balanced. So technically—if we ignore the risk of bloodborne diseases—we could survive a little while on it, assuming we get enough fluid. And preferably calories too. But drinking enough to meet a regular human’s fluid or calorie requirements? You’d overdose on iron. So we can't do it, but maybe vampires could filter out the iron somehow and maybe just... extract other nutrients more efficiently than us?"
Your brain kicks into a whole new gear as you think about it. It’s truly fascinating; how a similar-looking being could (theoretically) develop to thrive where you can’t.
“What about the carbs and fats, then? Could they survive without those?”
“I don’t know? Carbs really aren't that important, but fats are. Maybe vampires would just be… entirely different? Like, their bodies run on something else other than glucose like ours do. Or maybe they’re just like really huge ticks. Or mosquitos?”
Jeongguk lifts his eyebrows, surprised but clearly amused. “I thought you liked vampires?”
“I do. I’m just saying? Although, I’d say most people consider both ticks and mosquitos a nuisance at best, so they’d probably dislike vampires too.”
“How would a vampire… eat, then?” he asks, dark eyes looking at you intently.
“What do you mean?” you ask, frowning slightly as you try to follow his line of thought.
They’d just drink the blood, and it would flow down the esophagus into the stomach, just like how a human would nourish themselves. Right? There wouldn’t be a reason for that to change.
“If people dislike vampires…? I figure they wouldn’t… want to be fed on, right?”
Oh.
“I feel like… Say the movies are right and vampires only consume blood, but they’re also very insistent on staying hidden? I’d say they’d have to be killing humans. Or, I don’t know… kidnapping them and farming their blood or something. But meeting a regular human’s daily fluid requirement just by blood every day would be a logistical nightmare if the vampire population is even a fraction the size of the human population. We can’t replenish that quickly, so there wouldn’t be enough to go around, even if there was a way to keep humans alive and only take as much as possible without killing them.”
“So, a vampire population would have to be kinda small," he concludes. "Unless they somehow wouldn’t have the same fluid requirements. Or if they’d be able to consume blood from other sources too.”
“Yeah. Like in Twilight?” you smile. “Where some of them drink animal blood?”
“I haven’t seen Twilight, but yeah. I heard the vampires sparkle.”
You nearly giggle at the look of disbelief he gives you.
“Yeah, it’s definitely an interesting portrayal. I read the books, and I think their skin is supposed to almost feel like… marble? Cold and hard.”
“Marble?”
“Mhm. I’m not one to deem something impossible, but that aspect feels a little…”
“...Impossible?” he continues, one eyebrow raised.
“Yeah. I mean, temperature can surely vary, but if the skin is supposed to move at all, it can’t really be that… fixed. Then again, I read them a long time ago, so maybe there was another explanation I can’t remember.”
“Interesting. There are definitely a lot more versions of vampires than any other supernatural creature, as far as I know.”
“Yeah, it’s super fascinating.”
“Wouldn’t you be scared, though?” he asks. “If they existed, why would you want to see one?”
You think about it. You’ve seen so many movies, consumed so much media containing supernatural beings like vampires, and all you ever think about is… how. But you’ve—of course—never had to consider actually meeting one.
“No, I don’t think so. And honestly, I’d probably be too curious to worry.”
He grins, amused. “Understood.”
Suddenly remembering where you are and what you're doing, you look at your watch, realizing that you need to leave. It’s almost scary how you completely forgot the time.
“Anyway," you start, looking at the kitten, who seems a lot sleepier. "She’ll lose interest on her own when she’s feeling full. If she falls asleep mid-feed, that’s also usually a pretty good sign. When she’s done, you can wipe her mouth with a soft, damp cloth. If she seems uncomfortable or maybe a little bloated, it’s important to stop feeding. If she does look bloated afterward, you can try to burp her.”
“Burp her? Like a baby?”
Nodding, you take the little kitten in your hands again, positioning her against your chest like you’d do with a baby. “Like this. And then gently pat or rub her back, and she’ll probably burp.”
He smiles, watching the little creature. “Honestly, maybe the most adorable thing I’ve seen.”
You laugh quietly, gently handing her back to him, your cheeks definitely a tad bit warmer. “Right? You wanna put her back with her family?”
Accepting her back, he nods, softly petting her little body. Maybe that’s the most adorable thing you’ve seen.
“If she doesn’t gain or if she seems uncomfortable in any other way, just give us a call. Or if you have any questions.”
“Sure. Thanks for stopping by.”
“No problem.”
You make sure to pack away the notebook in your bag. The bottle, along with a few packets of formula, you leave with Jeongguk and the kitten.

<previous | next>
author's note: hello my friends! i hope you liked it!! please leave a comment/reblog/ask if you did; i'd love to hear your thoughts and maybe theories.... <3<3<3
#had the worst day today but posting usually makes me feel better 😭🥺❤️#jungkook#bts#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#vampire jungkook#jungkook au#bts fanfic#bts ff#jungkook ff#jungkook imagines#jungkook scenario#jungkook series#bts jungkook#btswritersclub#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#bts x you#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x fem!reader#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#jeongguk
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bottle up old love (jjk) (m)
summary: Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.
pairing: Jungkook x Reader
rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)
genre: exes to lovers, the holy trinity of angst/smut/fluff
word count: 4.6k (this was supposed to be a drabble 💀)
prompt: JK + exes to lovers + "I'm sorry" + "I hate you" + "Don't fucking touch me" + "Leave" (for @btsborahaee <3)
warnings: language, a short harassment scene at the beginning (nothing too intense), explicit content including: unprotected sex (DO NOT), fingering, praise kink, biting, marking, spanking, cum eating (sort of?), big cawk soft dom jk, cowgirl (yeehaw), creampie, cockwarming, i think that's all but this also wasn't supposed to be too smutty so clearly idk what's going on lol
MASTERLIST
“Don’t fucking touch me!”
You spit the words at the man in front of you, pushing him back as he tries to make another grab at your arm.
“Why do you gotta be like that?” Seungcheol whines. “I thought we were having fun.”
“You and I have very different ideas of fun.” You take a step backwards towards your building. Somewhere down the sidewalk, footsteps clatter against the pavement.
“C’mon.” He matches your movement, reaches for you again. “Invite me up. You enjoyed the last time, didn’t you? I told you that was just a warm-up.”
The building’s brick wall is closer than you thought, and you bang your shoulder against it as you try to sidestep him. “Last time you didn’t follow me to a bar I didn’t even invite you to. How did you know where I was anyway?”
“Let me come up, and I’ll tell you,” he rumbles with a flicker of his eyebrows. He has you fully backed up against the wall now, and you press against the muscle of his chest to no avail.
“Stop!” you shout before he’s ripped away from you so suddenly that you’re left blinking in confusion, huddled against the brick.
There’s a thud–the sound of a fist hitting flesh–and a yelp before Seungcheol is reeling back with his hands clutching his nose. Blood seeps out from beneath his fingers, black even under the glow of the streetlamps.
“What the fuck?” he shrieks, and it’s only then that you take a proper look at your savior, looking every bit like he’s stepped straight out of the shadows with his dark hair, ebony clothes, and deep brown eyes.
And a lead weight drops into your stomach as you recognize him.
Jungkook sets himself between you and Seungcheol, looming over the latter as he continues to cover his face, whining. “I’m giving you ten seconds to get out of here.”
“Who the fuck are you?!”
“Ten,” Jungkook growls, taking a step in Seungcheol’s direction. “Nine.”
Seungcheol straightens–clearly a last-ditch attempt to look intimidating. Spitting blood onto the concrete, he peers at you over Jungkook’s shoulder. “This isn’t over, bitch.”
Then he spins and takes off running down the street.
Your hands grip your elbows. It may be a balmy summer night, but you’re shivering where you stand, unsure whether you’re more affected by Seungcheol’s behavior or the ghost who’s unexpectedly in front of you.
“Are you okay?” he quietly asks, gaze fixed on your face. You stare at your shoes and give him a brisk nod as a response before turning away, punching in your building code, and walking through the front door.
He follows closely, slipping in behind you and trailing a few feet. You let him for a little while, guiding him through the modest lobby and up the first flight of stairs. But when you’re halfway up the second stairwell–almost to your floor–you pause on the landing, spinning his way.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
His eyes are gentle, sincere. “Making sure you get in safely.”
“There’s no need for that,” you assert. “I’m already in my building. There’s a keypad. I’m good.”
“The keypad does almost nothing. I followed you in no problem.”
“So I should be worried about you then?”
He flushes, the tips of his ears going pink. “Please just let me see you inside.”
You want to argue back, want to shout at him and make a scene, but you know it’s no use. Know that he’s stubborn as a bull and will get what he wants one way or another.
It’s how he broke up with you after all.
You say nothing, only hustle up the last set of steps and down the dimly-lit hallway until you’re in front of your door, Jungkook tailing you the whole time with his hands in his pockets. You practically fumble your key in your haste to get it into the lock, letting out a satisfied sigh as the latch finally clicks open.
“There. I’m in,” you say as you step over the threshold, waving a dismissive hand at your unwanted companion. “Leave.”
But he hesitates just outside the doorway, teeth chewing at the corner of his lip. “What are you going to do if he comes back?”
“That’s my problem, isn’t it? I stopped being your concern when you dropped me out of nowhere a year ago.”
Your eyes sting at the memory, tears threatening to spill over. You don’t want him here. Don’t want to see him or have him anywhere in your vicinity. Not when it still hurts like this.
Though, truth be told, you don’t expect to ever be fully over him.
“We’re done, Jungkook,” you murmur. “You made sure of that.”
And you close the door in his face.
The distress subsides quickly once he’s out of sight–like he was never there to begin with–and you don’t linger, dropping your bag on the sofa and heading straight for the bathroom. This is how you’ve made it a year without him; it was weeks of crying before you realized that wallowing was doing you no good, only fueling your misery instead of providing any kind of catharsis. So you’ve done your best to simply push past it and cast away the anguish that bubbles up every time you think of him. Not allow it to linger like the shadows at the edges of the room.
You shed your clothes and turn the shower to a temperature that you’ll probably regret later. But for now, you savor the way the water sears your skin as you wash away the day with all of its unpleasant surprises. Taking your time, you scrub every inch of your body and carefully shampoo your hair (trying not to fall back into the fantasy that’s plagued you on occasion where it’s his hands and not yours spreading the bubbles over your form).
The self-care continues as you step out of the shower and leisurely work through your skin care routine, even taking the time to blow dry your hair. By the time you exit the bathroom, the fog on the mirror has dissipated, and you’ve once again successfully tamped down the memory of Jungkook and his hands and eyes and everything you ever felt for him.
Or so you think.
After popping into your bedroom to pull on some pajamas, you pad back into the living room for a glass of water, and your eyes are immediately drawn to the front door. Regret attempts to push its way into your consciousness against your better judgment. The man broke your heart, yes. But you do feel a little guilty slamming the door in his face after he just fought off a creep for you.
And speaking of Seungcheol, what if he does come back? You’re pretty sure he saw you punch in the building code the night you brought him home with you, and given his behavior, you wouldn’t be surprised if he filed it away in his head.
Anxiety winning out, you creep to the door and peer through the peephole. The hallway looks empty, drab beige walls taking up most of your field of view, but you jump as you spot a hulking shadow to the right. Your heartbeat races then slows, a closer look revealing hunched, unmoving shoulders wrapped in a familiar black t-shirt.
Jungkook swings his head to look at you as you open the door and glare down at him. His legs are pulled up, arms resting on his knees, and it might be endearing if not for the fact that he absolutely, positively should not be here.
“What are you doing?” you ask him for the second time tonight.
“He might come back.”
“And you’re going to what? Fight him?”
He shrugs. “If I have to.”
“Yeah?” You raise an eyebrow, challenging. “You’re going to sit out here all night?”
He shifts where he sits, wiggling his hips like he’s firmly planting his butt into his chosen spot. “Yes.”
You roll your eyes at him but don’t doubt that he would. Again, if there is anything you know this man to be, it’s stubborn. “You’re going to scare the neighbors.”
“Who, Mrs. Kwon?” A tiny smile plays on his lips as he glances in the direction of your elderly neighbor’s apartment. “I think she’d be delighted to see me.”
If you’re being honest, she probably would be. She’s always adored Jungkook and praised him as the “kind, handsome young man” who helped her put away groceries and fixed her leaky faucet one time. In the months following your breakup, she’d asked about him once or twice, patting your arm reassuringly when you awkwardly told her she wouldn’t be seeing him anymore.
“Don’t worry, dear,” she said. “He’ll come around.”
Well she’s turned out to be right in that he’s certainly back here again, still watching you from his spot on the floor. And you don’t know whether it’s his big doe eyes or the fact that he really would guard your apartment all night if you let him or the genuine fear that one of the other neighbors will make a fuss at his presence, but you feel yourself softening.
Turning abruptly, you stride into the kitchen for your glass of water, walking out of sight of the door, which is still wide open.
“You coming?” you call, pulling two glasses down from the cupboard.
There’s a rustle as Jungkook stands and shuffles into your apartment, closing the door behind him with a soft thud. For someone who was so determined to defend you tonight, he seems uncertain now that he’s actually inside. His hands are once again stuffed in his pockets, and his eyes flicker around like he hasn’t been here a thousand times. Hasn’t cooked you breakfast in this kitchen in nothing but his boxers. Hasn’t watched The Notebook with you on this TV and held you as you both cried.
Hasn’t made love to you on the couch.
You slide a water his way, and he murmurs his thanks, sipping at it lightly. It’s strange–seeing him here again–and you can’t help but think about the last time he stood in this room. It’d been a maelstrom of accusations and hurt feelings that culminated in him storming out, the slam of the door echoing in your ears.
“You never cleaned that?” He gestures at the rug that covers most of the sitting area in your living room, eyes on the dark purple stain roughly the size of your hand.
You gulp down your water and try not to follow his line of sight. Try not to remember how you’d knocked over a glass of wine in your haste to get his clothes off during another movie night less than a month before your breakup.
“I kind of forgot about it,” you say. “Stopped noticing it after a while.”
It’s a lie. There was never a time when you didn’t notice it, the memory of him haunting you every time you sit down on the couch and stare at the garish stain. And still, you haven’t been able to bring yourself to try and erase it.
Silence worms its way between you again. With only the soft light from the tabletop lamp glowing next to the couch, Jungkook’s face is cloaked in shadow. And so you barely see his lips move when he speaks. Barely hear it with how quietly his whisper slips into the room.
“I’m sorry.”
Your glass almost drops from your fingers, droplets splashing across your knuckles as you catch it at the last moment and steady it on the countertop. Turning to face him, you find his gaze already on you, melancholy tinting his expression.
“What?”
He tongues his lip ring, shoulders dropping a fraction. “For how things ended. I’m sorry.”
You can see the sincerity in his posture, can see the sadness in his form. And yet, his words only fill you with a hot anger that bubbles out of you before you can swallow it down.
“I don’t know why you would be,” you challenge, “being that you didn’t even respect me enough to give me a proper reason.”
Jungkook huffs at that; you think he’s resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “Did it really matter?”
“Yes.”
He gnaws at his lip again, no longer looking at you, and his lack of an answer only riles you up further.
“Was there someone else?” you demand, causing him to flinch. It was the same thing you asked him when he told you he thought you should break up, standing in almost this exact same spot.
“No,” he murmurs after a moment. “There wasn’t anyone else.” He pushes a hand through his dark, silky hair. “There hasn’t been anyone else since either.”
This surprises you. Jungkook is, in your eyes, the handsomest man you have ever come face-to-face with, but even from an objective standpoint, he is exceedingly attractive. There is no doubt in your mind that he would easily be able to land a woman if he so desired.
“So then why?”
He sets his jaw, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows and fixes his stare out the window. And it’s this final refusal, this steadfast dedication to not explaining himself, that finally has tears tracking down your cheeks.
The sight of you crying has his attention snapping back your way, hands reaching out as if to hold you.
“Don’t touch me,” you gasp, recoiling until you’re out of reach. “I…I hate you.”
It almost seems as if your voice lands physically, and Jungkook staggers back like you’ve slapped him, remorse immediately wiggling its way between your ribs. You know you don’t mean the words even as they fall from your mouth, but it feels pointless to take them back now, the sentiment already thrown out there and hovering in the hollow space between you.
Jungkook muddles towards the couch–more of a defeated slump dragging his steps than anger–and you think he’s going to sit down before he whirls back towards you at the last second.
“The gala,” he mutters. “That’s when I decided.”
You know which one he’s talking about. Hosted by your medical school to celebrate the end of the academic year, it had been a night of food, dancing, and socializing. You had, of course, brought him as your date and introduced him to your friends and classmates, excited to finally allow him to put faces to names. As you comb through your memories of the night, you can’t pinpoint any warning signs, only remembering the way he’d smiled at you throughout. The way he’d pulled you close and danced you around the room.
“I don’t…I don’t understand.”
He rakes his fingers through his hair again, tossing strands of night over his forehead. A sad chuckle looses itself into the thick air of the room, and the final dregs of his resolve flicker away. “I realized that I didn’t deserve to stand next to you. That you could do much better than me.”
Whatever you thought his reason had been–whatever theories or thoughts had kept you up night after night for the past year–this is not even close to what you expected. And while you always thought finally receiving an answer would be freeing, would offer you some semblance of understanding, you’re surprised at the rage that boils in the pit of your stomach, bile rising in your throat.
“Are you fucking serious right now?” you growl, taking an angered step towards him. “You were feeling insecure, and you made the decision to break up with me without even thinking to, I don’t know, discuss it with me first?”
His hand goes to the back of his neck now, embarrassment showing its face as he peers at you from under his lashes. “I was stupid–”
“No, shit.”
“But can you blame me?” he presses. “There we were: you, about to be this incredible doctor with all of your doctor friends…” His voice falters, sorrow lacing his tone. “And I’m just a tattoo artist.”
The defeatist way he says it helps to dampen your ire some, even if a heap of frustration remains–the sad shape of his doe eyes softening your edges.
“Just a tattoo artist,” you repeat. “Jungkook, I have always been so, so proud of you. I was never anything but proud to have you as my partner. You must’ve known that.”
His teeth worry his lip, and though he nods, he doesn’t seem fully convinced.
So you continue on, closing the distance between you a fraction more. “You started your own business from nothing. And I saw how hard you worked: to get the building, to hire other artists, train your apprentices.” You shake your head–half in irritation, half in awe. “And look at you now! You’re thriving. The last I heard, if you want an appointment at Golden Tattoo, you need to book months in advance.”
His eyes are alight now, some hidden emotion glimmering under the surface, but he stays quiet as he soaks in your words.
“So how can you possibly act like you weren’t enough?” you push. “You are amazing, Jungkook. And I never gave a shit about any job comparisons people may have made.” One more step, and suddenly you’re almost chest-to-chest. As always, you’re unable to resist the pull of his gravity. Yanked right back into his orbit. “I only wanted you. I’ve only ever wanted y–”
He cuts you off with his mouth, strong hands snagging your hips to pull you against him, and your own fingers reflexively tangle in his black hoodie as your subconscious gives itself over to him. Like it’s been waiting for this.
“I’m not. Not thriving,” he mumbles against your lips. “Not without you. Been miserable without you.”
And in spite of your anger, in spite of the fact that you were ready to kick him out a mere hour ago, you find yourself kissing him back, relishing the slick glide of his tongue as he licks into your mouth.
You startle as the backs of your knees suddenly bump against the couch, and then Jungkook is spinning as he settles onto the plush seat, pulling you along to straddle him. He sucks at your neck until you can feel the blood blooming under your skin, painting you like the pretty ink on his arm.
Speaking of.
The fabric of his hoodie whispers as you pull it up and over his back and head, tossing it over his shoulder and into a corner. His arms now bare to you, you gloss over his tattoos with your eyes and fingers until you find the one you’d picked out for him; the lovely orange of the flower petals seem to glow even in the dim light of the room.
“Beautiful,” you whisper.
“Just like you.”
You look at him then, the twinkle of tiny galaxies in his eyes betraying his hope. And before you can go any further, you need confirmation.
“You left.”
“I did.” Fingertips press lightly against your waist like he’s afraid you might be the one to disappear now. “I’m sorry.”
“Jungkook, if…” You lick your lips. Can almost taste his regret. “If we do this and you leave again–”
“If we do this, I'm not going anywhere,” he insists, tugging your hips down to grind against him and ghosting a kiss at your jaw. “Just wanna be here with you. Just want you.”
And it’s all you need to hear.
You shed the cotton shirt you had thrown on after your shower and move to yank his own off, tossing it in the same corner as his hoodie. The muscles of his pecs and abs shift under your hands, burning hot where your fingers trace the contours of his torso.
“God, I missed this,” he groans as he buries his face between your breasts, nipping at the skin there before laving the spot with his tongue.
You’d agree–echo the sentiment that your body has been aching for this–if not for the fact that you’re too busy trying to get the two of you naked, thumbs hooking into the waistband of your shorts.
But a tattooed hand covers yours, eases it away to take its place. “No,” he rumbles. “Let me.”
Wide palms and long fingers span your hips and thighs, grasping as much skin as possible even as he drags your shorts and panties down your legs and helps to steady you as you kick them off. They join the tangle of his own clothes
“Fucking gorgeous,” he growls at the sight of you finally naked in front of him. And with such speed that it almost seems like it’s involuntary, an impulse outside of his control, he’s immediately stroking at the apex of your thighs.
“Baby, this wet for me already?” A breathy sigh passes from his mouth to yours, almost laughing at the ease with which he glides through your folds. “Hell, I could just–”
A finger slips in and you gasp, Jungkook smiling wickedly at you as he quickly adds a second and curls them against your walls. You force your eyes closed as they roll back in your head, and you keel forward, babbling incoherently against the line of his collarbone.
“Use your words, love; you can do it.” He says it as if his fingers aren’t currently buried in you down to the knuckle. As if he’s not making you see stars behind your eyelids right now.
You choke down a breath, desperate for the oxygen. “Insane,” you pant. “I said you’re fucking insane.”
“Only for you,” he says before sliding his digits out of you and dipping them into his mouth. He moans at the taste, and even with his lips closed tightly, you can see the way he’s working his tongue around each finger, unwilling to waste a single drop of your essence.
Like you said. Insane.
He gives you a moment to catch your breath until you’re the one who’s getting impatient, hastily undoing his belt and tearing it from his pants with a hiss. But as you shift off of him so he can slither out of his pants and boxers–his length springing free to slap against his smooth stomach–you’re hit with an untimely realization.
“Jungkook, I don’t have condoms.”
He freezes, the color draining from his face (though admittedly, that may be because all of his blood has clearly gone south). The two of you stare at each other for a long second before he suddenly leans over, rummaging back through his pants pockets. He pulls out his wallet, rifles through it, then tosses it across the room in frustration, head tilting back against the couch as he groans at the ceiling.
“Fuck, me neither.”
You chew at your lip, a loaded quiet settling over the room as Jungkook wipes a hand over his face.
“I’m still on birth control,” you whisper, and Jungkook whips his head around, eyes wide and questioning like he’s not sure he heard you right. But you don’t repeat yourself, only hold his stare until he’s tentatively reaching out to graze his fingertips along your thigh.
“I told you. There’s been no one else.” His expression is earnest, eager. You trust that he’s telling the truth, and yet you also know that if you refused him, if you said you weren’t comfortable, he wouldn’t push.
So you swing a leg back over his lap, drag your wet folds against his cock. He moans, gripping your thighs hard, but he leans in to bite at your lower lip with a growl before pulling back to search your face.
“You?”
It hurts that he even feels the need to ask. Because how could you even want someone else? Who could possibly measure up?
You brush a reassuring, barely-there kiss against his already swollen lips. “No one else for me either.”
This seems to please him, but you still see hesitation behind his eyes as he asks, “What about the guy downstairs?”
A drunken mistake was what that was. All sloppy lips and fumbling hands that had left you feeling more empty than anything, and which resulted in you sending Cheol away before he had even gotten a peek at your bedroom.
“We made out once,” you admit, hating that you’re even having to think about another man when Jungkook is here in front of you. “But nothing else happened.”
“Good,” he grunts, but his fingers dig into your backside like he’s trying to reclaim you. And just a fraction of a second later, he’s devilishly tonguing his lip ring as he winds his palm back to bring it down harshly against the meat of your ass, the smack echoing between the walls almost endlessly.
“Ride me, baby.”
You’re quick to line him up–desperate, at this point, to have him inside of you–and begin to ease yourself down slowly, trying to give your body the space and time to adjust to the burning stretch of his girth. He’s always filled you to your absolute limit, tested the furthest boundaries of how much your body can take with his size.
“Yesss,” he hisses, nipping at your neck once again. “You’re doing great, love. Always take me so fucking well.”
You gasp as he bottoms out, struggling to catch your breath with the relentless push of him. If you were a betting woman, you’d put money on your intestines being somewhere in the area of your throat right now.
He wraps his inked arm around your waist, continuing to whisper his praises against the shell of your ear as he starts to guide your body up and down. Intoxicated by the smooth slide of his length, you soon find your pace, and your shared moans fill the room–the whole city probably able to hear you right now.
You move that way until the pressure building becomes too much and your legs start to tremble, quivering against Jungkook’s own muscled thighs.
“It’s okay; I’ve got you.” He bands his arms around you and presses you to his chest, holding you in place so he can thrust upwards.
Hard.
You’re practically screaming now, burying your teeth into his shoulder so as to muffle your sounds and not scare the neighbors. It’s all you can do to hold on for dear life as he rapidly pistons his cock inside of you, the slap of your hips like a metronome.
It builds and builds until it breaks and you’re falling apart in his arms, the spasms of your inner walls pulling him over the edge with you as he empties his seed deep inside.
The silence that follows in unlike the others you previously shared this evening–tension traded for serenity as you sit on the couch holding each other, you still contentedly stuffed full of him. He traces the ridges of your spine in a soothing pattern that has your eyelids drooping, your cheek resting against the warm skin of his neck.
“I missed this,” you whisper once your brain has finally remembered how to construct human speech.
“I missed you.”
You pull back so you can rest your forehead against his and gently run a finger over the lines of his face. “Where do we go from here?”
He hums. Tucks a stray hair behind your ear. “Take it day by day?” he suggests. “We don’t need to rush into anything if you don’t want to.”
“Mm, that does seem like a problem for tomorrow.”
A dark eyebrow quirks, teasing. “And what about right now?”
“Now?” you ask. “Do you remember the way to the bedroom? Or…” You shift your hips, already feeling him twitching inside of you.
“Or.” He jolts forward to capture your mouth in a hot kiss, and you smile into it, whole again. “Or sounds good.”
a/n: pls like, reblog, reply, and/or send an ask if you enjoyed! <3
#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#bts x reader#bts x you#bts imagines#jungkook imagines#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#bts angst#bts smut#bts fluff#bts fic#bts fanfic
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all the things she said -> jjk (two)



summary: pretty much everyone knows the truth about you now, and you’re trying your best to carry on with your life, but duty calls and the show must go on.
rating: R18+ MATURE, minors please do not interact
genre: roommate au, angst, eventual smut
word count: 5k
warnings/tags: reader kinda spirals this chapter, tension between friends, reader kind of…relapses? is that a fair choice of words? idek, allusions to masturbation in public, jk x reader fight, much angst, confessions, jk gets a text that marks the beginning of a lot of drama to unfold!!! oh shietttt
notes: i have to preface this chapter by saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong with sex work so long as you’ve weighed out all your options and know you have a support system around you that allows you not to feel guilt or shame. You have so many options, but sometimes they just don’t work out— and that’s okay. y/n and her friends painting sex work as something negative is not how i view sex work at all, i respect it in its right, but it is not an easy job and the weight of it doesn’t come lightly! okay my lovelies? okay. buckle up for some more angst (: i promise things won’t be all bad throughout this fic. the first three chapters are heavy, but towards the end of chapter three things will become lighter <3
soundtrack: pushing it down and praying – lizzy mcalpine
⋆ ࣪. masterlist ˖ ࣪⭑
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You haven’t left the house in days. The only person outside of Jungkook that you saw was Jimin, who had shown up during the day to pick up something from your apartment that Jungkook had forgotten on his desk this morning. You had answered the door thinking it was Jungkook.
“Oh butterfly,” he cooed, a genuine look of softness in his usually mischievous eyes. “Who went and clipped your wings?”
You step aside, pulling the door fully open to allow him into the apartment with a lazy huff. You follow him into Jungkook’s room, leaning against the door as you watch him search his desk. It’s organised and tidy, because Jungkook didn’t like mess. It doesn’t take him long to find the black folder he’s searching for, and then he walks to you with a sigh, his hand hovers over your lower back as you walk him back to the door. You were lonely, you cherished the moments amount of company seeing a different face provided you. Jimin smiles at you softly, pats the top of your head and bids you a goodbye, leaving you alone just as quick as he came.
Your mother called you; it was a real miracle that she had believed you when you told her it was some bad practical joke someone was playing on you using AI. Yet of course that didn't make things much easier, she was still your mother; she still goes on an entire spiel about how the internet was going to kill everyone.
You let her spew nonsense while you forced down a cup of tea. It was supposedly meant to calm your nerves and ease your stress, that's what it said on the back of the box when you bought it. You only felt a little bit lighter when you tell her you love her and end the call.
The phone rings almost as soon as you put it down, and you throw your head bag with a groan, she must have forgotten to tell you something, but only it isn’t your mother like you anticipate, it’s Jungkook.
You answer promptly, bringing the phone to your ear.
“What is it?”
His soft chuckle makes you realise your entire body was tensing before, because you feel your shoulders loosen the moment it hits your ears. “Hello to you too, grumpy.”
“Sorry,” you mumble, bringing your legs up onto the couch to tuck beneath your weight. “I just got off the phone with my mum.”
Jungkook sucks a breath between his teeth. “Tragic.” It elicits the smallest giggle from your lips, and he lights up at the sound. You don’t see the way he grins from ear to ear; it would have probably made your heart swell if you had. “I’m taking you out tonight.” He suddenly says, smacking a hand onto his knee, swaying back and forth in his chair.
“What? No. I’m not going anywhere.” You’re quick to shut the idea down. You don’t even know what he has planned, but you could only assume it meant facing friends and familiar faces.
“Y/N, nobody hates you. They just want to know if you’re okay. Come on, it’ll be good for you. You’re usually begging for us all to spend time together.”
It’s true, you missed them. Even though you ignore their texts and calls, too frightened to open them to see what they have to say about everything. Your sanity is fragile, and you don’t know if you can handle it, you think. “They won’t look at me the same.”
“I don’t look at you any differently.” A lie.
How could he not see you differently? How could he not when he thought he knew you through and through? It was only fair when you had told him you worked at the grocery store doing night stock. Where were you going to take all these pictures? A motel? You had gone through those lengths just to make ends meet? He doesn’t let it fester in his mind any longer, because if he was actually going to be honest with you, those images weigh on his mind more often than he’d like to admit. But honesty isn’t what you needed right now.
It would have been more truthful if he had told you that he didn’t feel any differently about you. He bites his tongue, though. “You’re still you, Y/N.”
He pulls his phone away from his ear when he doesn’t hear anything in return. The call is ongoing, but when he hears the smallest sniffle ring through the silence. “Don’t cry, dove.” He sighs, and you whimper, your words struggling to leave your lips when you know they will crack and wobble. You were so ashamed. “When I get back, we’re going to wash up, and I’m gonna help you pick what to wear. Then we’re gonna drive to the restaurant, and I’ll be sitting beside you all night.”
You still don’t answer, your sad sounds increase when in his reassurance. A quiet sob makes the frown on his face lower even more. Jungkook bites on his bottom lip. “Okay?”
“Okay.” You whisper, inhaling shakily. His lips twitch upwards, but he can’t bring it in him to smile completely. He wishes he could make you smile.
“Jungkook?” Your voice is quiet and small, twisting the metaphorical knife further.
“Hm?” He hums, pressing his lip together tightly. There’s a sudden lump in his throat that he fights to swallow back down.
“You lied before,” you accuse, and Jungkook slumps back into his chair, lips parting to question you but you’re too quick to finish your thought. “I see the way you look at me.”
A dozen thoughts plague his thoughts, the weight of your words raising questions within himself to decode them. What exactly do you mean by that? His heart races. He’s never confessed to you because the timing was just never right; he still wasn’t sure if it was worth the thought of losing you because of his own selfish feelings. He’d rather live loving you from a distance than you lose you altogether, because the fact of the matter was that you cared for him so loudly, so much more genuinely than other people in his life did.
But that’s just you— you were too kind for your own good. A giver.
“How’s that, dove?”
“You look at me like you don’t even know who I am,” you squeeze the words out, unable to hold back your feelings, “You pity me.”
Jungkook exhales, shutting his eyes. “Y/N…” You can’t help but think he sounds exhausted, “I would never pity you.”
But you’re tired of me. Is what you want to say, you can hear it in his voice, it’s low and quiet and he’s said the words to you one too many times in the span of a week. You pull your brows together, “Then why are you helping me?” You raise your voice, and he opens his eyes again, staring at the empty excel spreadsheet on his computer screen.
“You’re my girl, Y/N.” Once again, he just lets the words fall from his lips, speaks before he thinks. “Look, I have to go but I’ll see you when I get home, okay?” He ends the call when your quiet goodbye sounds through his phone. He tosses it onto his desk, stares at it for a moment. The next three hours were going to be gruellingly long, he thinks.
You were right about this being extremely uncomfortable.
When you and Jungkook arrive, you freeze by the door when you catch a glimpse of your friends at the table, they’re chatting loudly and laughing as if things were normal. Jungkook only takes a few more steps before he looks over his shoulder at you, clicking his tongue. His hands raise to your shoulders, thumbs soothing against your skin gingerly.
From the table Jimin is looking over at you and Jungkook, he can’t help but feel guilty about the sudden decline in your typical personality. You had always been the one to reassure others, to lift them up in times of darkness. Even when Jimin insulted you, you would shrug and tell him if taking it out on you was going to help him relieve stress, then you didn’t mind. He never really took into consideration the weight of that. Your friends wanted to be there for, they did, but they didn’t know how. You didn’t expect them to know how. That was just part of your character, it was both a strength and a weakness.
Jimin wishes you bit back a little more, when the boundaries have been overstepped, when something makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable. He’s been thinking a lot about how much baggage you carry on your shoulders, not just from the people around you but some of your own, too.
Truthfully, he had been too blind seeing you as the girl that didn’t reciprocate the feelings that Jungkook’s had for you. Even when you wiped at the corners of his mouth when he ate so messily or hugged him just as tightly even when he approached you with faux tears. He was so convinced you were stringing him along, that you had some ulterior motive or thrived of his attention. He had always been especially protective of his youngest friend, sensitive and stoic all in the same rippling, intimidating build. Tattoos, piercings and muscles on the outside but a head filled with hard-to-hide emotions on the inside.
He can see it in the way you’re looking up at him now. Teary eyed with a quivering bottom lip, he understands you a little more now. You didn’t even know it; he was your safe space, the light in the darkness— your home. Even when it was blatantly obvious to everyone else in the room.
You had spent so much time being overbearing with Jungkook, wishing that he wouldn’t feel pain, that the moment your life crumbled you had wanted to run straight into his arms. You were regurgitating your feeling in actions that you didn’t even realise what they meant to him, and for that Jimin gets it now, realises that you’re the one who is damaged. You are for Jungkook what you wish someone would be for you.
Jimin rejoins his focus to the conversation at the table, now hushed and low when you and Jungkook slowly make your way to the table.
“–should collectively agree to not bring anything weird up to Y/N.”
Jimin takes a breath, is about to reply but the two of you are already at the table. Jungkook smiles and greets the table, even when he notices the pointed glare Taehyung gives Namjoon, Taehyung because he might have said that loud enough for you to hear. You heard.
You look like a newborn deer, your steps are shaky, and your fingers cling tightly onto the strap of your bag like it was the only thing keep you stable. You’re looking up at Jungkook for reassurance, unable to meet the gazes of the friends you haven’t seen since the incident.
Jia stands up and greets you with a hug. Jungkook removes his hand from your lower back, taking a seat next to Taehyung and patting him on the back. Jimin’s still looking at you, the way your smile is forced as you return her hug with an awkward one-handed one. Jia grins widely at you, tells her she misses you and you nod and tell her the same. She pushes your strands over your shoulders as she compliments you, suffocating you with kindness disguised with curiosities about you. Jia being one of your closest friends, the entire interaction looks estranged. You’re still trying to appease. Jimin sighs and turns away.
You slump down into the seat next to Jungkook. Your eyes flicker over to him, but he’s distracted by everyone else, slipping into conversation with ease. Hanna and Jia are chatting, and when you make eye contact with the girls sat across from you, you smile in hopes to insert yourself in their own conversation, but it causes them to stop talking and smile back at you only.
You look down at your lap defeatedly with slumped shoulders as your leg begins to bounce, your palms rub up and down your thighs nervously. Jungkook still doesn’t look at you, but his hand pats and rests against your knee to stop the movement. Your eyes are big and a little bit glassy as they scan the room, searching for solace when your phone buzzes in your bag. You reach for it, bent over your device as your scroll through the unopened notifications on your home screen. Your hair curtains over you, and your breath hitches in your throat when you come across a message from the very app you’ve tried to avoid for the past week.
Your thumb hovers over the notification.
You’ve got an offer!
You peer up from your phone to make sure no one is paying attention to you. When you look back down at your phone, it’s only convenient that it’s Jimin that turns his head to check on you again. Your thumb taps against it. He narrows his stare at you.
You were going to stop doing this, you told yourself that the moment your photos were leaked. You wouldn’t humiliate your friends, or yourself, any further. You’d look for a night job that wasn’t risky.
From Anonymous:
Amount - $600
Request – Can I get a picture of your hand in your panties, princess? Add another photo of the wet patch on your panties too please, gorgeous.
Nobody has offered you this much money before.
You blink down at your phone, reading over all the words over and over again until your head begins to spin. Then you’re slipping Jungkook’s hand off your leg to rise from your seat, quietly excusing yourself to the bathroom. The talking slows, glances bouncing between you and each other; Jungkook looks at you with a slight frown, only just catching the way Jimin’s stare follows you around the table before he makes eye contact with him. Jimin raises his brow at him, the slight nod in your direction causing Jungkook to act.
“I’m gonna go check on her.” He smiles politely, which only intensifies the tension further.
“You guys could include her, you know?” Jimin cocks his head at the girls who look concerned. “Instead of clinging to each other like a couple of mean girls.”
They don’t beat the allegations when they look at each other. “We don’t know what to say to her.” Jia shrugs, chewing on her bottom lip as her brows lower. “She like, kept this from us without thinking about how this could affect others, you know?”
“You’re worried about your reputation?” He fires back, looking to Taehyung and Namjoon with disbelief. Namjoon slips quietly on his drink and Taehyung sinks into his seat. “I can’t believe you guys, you’ve been friends with her for so long, and you’re worried about how this is going to affect your lives?”
Hanna’s shoulder rise to her ears sheepishly, “I think it was a little irresponsible of her to resort to sex work without weighing out her options first.”
Jimin can feel the fire rising up his throat, ready to defend you. He just couldn’t believe what he was hearing; these people, that you’d bend over backwards to protect, have kicked you to the curb the moment things got messy. Was this why you felt like you had to do more? For their validation? Did they ever really like you?
“Why do you even care Jimin? You’re not even close.” Jia questions, folding her arms over her chest. “We never said we don’t still care for her, either— you’re acting like we just told you we hate her or something.”
“You may as well have.” He mutters under his bread with a roll of his eyes. Silence plagues the table louder than ever before.
Your heart races as you lock the cubicle behind you, pressing your back against it. Your fingers shake as you unlock your phone to open the app again, reading over your request one last time. You swallow thickly, resting your head against the door, slowing your breaths to calm your nerves. You had done this many times before, but things were different when everyone outside had known about it now. You lift a shaky hand, fingers ghosting over your neck as you begin to drag your touch down. Your palm pushes and grips gently at your breasts, and your breaths shake in the same way your hands had been. Your feet shuffle slightly, parting your legs when your fingers fiddle with the zipper of your shorts. You pull drag it down slowly, face contorted and scrunched as your cup your own heat. You whimper, pushing your lips together to bite back a sob.
Jungkook is pacing in front of the women’s restroom. Two minutes go by, then five, then ten when he officially begins to worry. Multiple others have come and went in that span of time, giving him strange looks. He looks over his shoulder at the table and watches at Jia and Hanna make their leave, then he notes the time on his phone to read 7:45. He taps the call button and pulls the phone to his ear with a huff.
You sniffle, wiping at your cheeks as you pull your shorts back up your legs. You flush the toilet even though the lid is shut and you haven’t even used it, walking out to wash your hands. You look up at your reflection, your mascara is a little bit smudged, and your face is hot. Your lids feel heavy and the beating in your chest feels heavier than before. You don’t even register your phone is ring, letting it buzz in your bag as you walk out with wobbling legs. You nearly walk into Jungkook’s chest, looking down at your shoes when you come out.
“Y/N,” he sighs, “Are you okay?” You can hear the worry in his tone, but it only makes that familiar feeling of shame bubble up within your chest. You look up at him slowly, your lids feel heavy, and you try to ignore the way your wetness sticks to your panties, how you didn’t finish and how much you’re throbbing with the need to.
“Can–” your throat feels dry, your voice crackles, “Could you just take me home?”
Jungkook nods almost immediately, “Everyone’s just about to leave anyway,” You hum, looking over at the table. Three boys are staring, averting their gazes when you’ve caught them.
“Where’d Jia and Hanna go?” You wonder, straightening your posture, attempting to ignore the heaviness you feel in your legs. Jungkook pretends not to notice how tense you are. He clears his throat.
“They, uh— they left.”
You nod slowly, tucking your hair behind your ears. “I told you this wasn’t a good idea.” You whisper, and Jungkook looks at you apologetically, though you don’t look at him again. Not as you say goodbye to those who remain at the table, not as he leads you out of the restaurant. You keep your temple pressed against the window as he drives the two of you home in silence.
You curl up on the couch that evening, channel surfing through the late-night shows and throwback television movies that only your parents would have seen before, maybe even your grandparents. You click your tongue when you can’t settle, so you turn it off altogether, falling on your side into the cushions when Jungkook walks in, rubbing a towel against his wet hair. “Nothing good?” He asks, and you groan in response. He walks around the coffee table to squeeze into the spot next to you, lifting your legs slightly and resting them against his lap when he sits. You try to push down the flutter you feel when his fingers wrap around one of your ankles, the way his fingers twitch down to the tops of your feet, squeezing them lightly with a crooked smile on his face. He tilts his head, “I’m sorry.” He whispers. “I thought it would fix things a little.”
You shrug, wrapping your arms around yourself. “Everything happens for a reason, right?”
Jungkook hums in agreeance. “I’m still here, though.” He reminds you, and you can’t fight the smile that breaks through your pouting lips, its tight and it makes your cheeks look pinchable. Jungkook laughs, he squeezes your ankle again, leaning back into the couch. “Jimin worries for you too, you know?”
You don’t mean for your snort to be as loud as it was, it makes Jungkook raise his brow, a grin growing in amusement. You hide your face in your hands, “Jimin is Jimin, he doesn’t know anything.” You mumble into your palms, and Jungkook rolls his eyes, leaning over to pull your hands away. “Nothing serious ever leaves that man’s mouth.”
“It’s how he shows love, and I think you know that.” He leans back again, head resting atop the edge of the back of the couch, eyes shut. You blink at him, allowing yourself to take in the sight of him while he isn’t looking; his jaw is clenching and unclenching, there’s a dent between his brows and the way his chest rises and falls with every slow breath he takes makes your mind wander to a place it never has before. Your breath gets caught in your throat, and your thighs rub together, just a little, and your panties still feel sticky, and you’re only reminded when they tighten against you from your slight movement. That awful sickly feeling in your stomach from before returns, and you have half a mind to pull your legs away from him.
“What are you thinking about?” Your voice comes out shakier than you intend. He tilts his head toward you, eyes blinking open to reveal the tired orbs, slightly red around a soft, deep brown that was easy to get lost within. They scan you; you look off— you’re sinking into the couch; your breaths are short and staggering. His pupils blow out, but he doesn’t react in other way.
“Why didn’t you come to me, dove?” His voice is raspy, low; he must’ve been half asleep before you called for his attention again.
“What do you mean?” You sit up now, this time you do pull your legs away from his lap and you pull them into your chest, resting your chin on your knees. Jungkook shivers from the loss of your warmth.
“If you needed money, or a job, I could’ve helped you.”
His expression is flat, but his eyes speak all the emotions he feels in the moment all at once. He blinks at you with big eyes, awaiting your response. You breathe in sharply, shutting your lips, looking away then back at him. You blink away tears. “I didn’t want to bother you.” Your voice breaks, but you shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut to blink away your sadness. “I don’t like dragging people down.”
“Dove…” He sighs, “You should know by now that there’s nothing you can do that will make you bothersome to me.”
“Why is that Jungkook?” You question comes out a little harsher than you want it to. You can see his lips twitch downward, but he catches it before he can make it known. “Why is it that nearly everyone has had something to say about my choices, but you have had nothing to say at all?”
He stares at you, huffing out an amusement breath. He runs a hand through his hair, and it curtains above his eyes again. “Okay.” He nods, his lips pressed tightly together. “I don’t like that you’re selling your body to strangers.”
“How long have you been doing it, Y/N?” He slaps his hands against his knees, looking down only to meet your shocked expression with a sterner look. “Hm?”
“I-I don’t know,” You look down at your fingers, shrugging timidly, “Six– seven months?” He doesn’t break his eyes away from yours, and you feel small under his gaze. He shifts his weight forward, his elbows resting on his knees now, clasping his hands together. “I knew it,” you grow meeker with every word, “I knew you were mad at me.”
“Not mad,” he furrows his brow, “I just, I don’t like it. I don’t like that there are people out there that hold such lewd photos of you that you don’t even know.”
“I…”
“People that don’t even care about you, not like I do.”
“Jungkook—”
“I have feelings for you, Y/N!” He grits his confession through his teeth, turning away from you the moment your mouth shuts and your posture straightens, lowering your legs from your chest. “I haven’t been exactly subtle about it, either. I don’t think so, anyway.”
“Then why?” You throw your hands up, letting them fall against the couch. “Why do you fuck other girls in your bed, which is right next to my room, so loudly that I need to wear headphones to drown out the sound?”
Jungkook throws his head back, a sour laugh leaving his throat. His fingers rub into his eyes when he feels the tension behind them. “You don’t get to do that, Y/N. No.”
“Oh my god,” you get up from the couch, “oh my god!” You shout into the open space of your apartment, thinking it was going to end there before anything could get worse. You didn’t want to fight, you tried to remove yourself, but Jungkook followed you to your bedroom. You turn to shut the door but his palm slams against it before it can close fully.
“You’re good at that, you know?” There’s a faux amusement in his features, you scowl at him, crossing your arms over your chest. “Running away from your feelings.”
“Well, I’d hate to subject you to dating such a careless, cheap whore that sells herself for money!” You turn away from him, marching around your room for your pyjamas, tossing them onto your unmade bed, the bed you shared with him that night and took care of him while he was weak. The memory is fleeting when his presence only makes the air in your room thick with judgement.
“I never called you a cheap whore, don’t put words into my mouth.” He points at you, “I just hate the way that mother fucker used your photo to blackmail you like that. I’m just saying what you’re doing is dangerous, Y/N.”
“I’m not doing it anymore.” You mutter under your breath, clutching your towel in your hands when you face him.
“Enlighten me then, what were you doing in the bathroom for half an hour at the restaurant?” His stare is cold, taking a step toward you. You take one back on instinct, the backs of your legs hitting the bed frame and you fall back onto your bed. You’re look ahead, past his face when he bends down to come face to face with you. “Did you send them?”
You shake your head. No, you hadn’t sent the images. You touched yourself in that bathroom, you took the photos as per the request, and you didn’t send them. Not when you saw his face behind your eyes, hidden in your thoughts. The whispers from the people that were dear to you, who couldn’t look at you because of it.
“No?”
You shut your eyes, shaking your head with a sniffle. Tears fall silently down your cheeks, hot with anger and guilt.
“You listen to me,” He lowers himself to his knees in front of you, taking a breath as he softens his tone. “I can only be there for you if you let me. I would go to the ends of the earth for you— you’re my best friend.”
You let yourself cry, letting your head fall to hide your blubbering but his fingers catch your chin. “Look at me, Dove.”
“How could you have feelings for me when–” You croak, but he hushes you, pulling your frame into his arms.
“There’s nothing you could do in this world.” He cuts you off, finger raking through your hair to soothe your hiccupping sobs. “I don’t expect you to feel the same way, I know you don’t,” He mutters into your hair, fighting that familiar sting in his eyes, “I just don’t think I can pretend that I don’t anymore, either.”
You pull away to look at him, and your heart shattered when his nose twitches, and his glossy eyes are straining to keep away his own tears. “It’s okay.” He smiles softly, but you know him well. You know him well enough to read between the lines; the things he said hadn’t matched the way he looked at you when he lied through his teeth. It’s not okay when he knows he wants you so bad it hurts, that his chest is so tight, and he fights to keep his breathing steady while he waits for you to say something.
You know that look— it’s hope.
Your hand lifts to cup his cheek, and you don’t miss the way he sinks into your touch. You want to listen to the way your heart pounds too, but your mind…it tells you that you’ve ruined any chances you had to make him happy.
“You should get some rest,” you tell him, letting your hand slip away from him. “You look exhausted.” He nods, rises from his knees as he drags his feet toward your door. He looks over his shoulder one last time before he closes your door behind him, leaving you with the quiet tears and self-loathing that troubled you.
You never should have thought this was just easy money, shouldn’t have convinced yourself that you would be safe so long as nobody knew. But most of all, you shouldn’t have assumed your friends were going to be supportive. Would it have been different if you were honest with them? Why didn’t you just ask someone for help? Did you hate yourself that much?
From beyond your door, Jungkook receives a text that blurs his vision— makes him see red.
©jigglyjeon 2025 all rights reserved
taglist: @bhonbhon , @rikifever , @jungkookswifeeeeeee , @songbyeonkim , @ttanniett
comment or send in an ask if you'd like to be added to the taglist for attss! <3 love you guys thank you so much for enjoying the story so far!
#jungkook smut#jungkook fan fiction#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook fic#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagines#jungkook imagine#jigglyjeon#attss
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upcoming… | (m)
Summary: Jungkook once planted a garden in your chest that he watered when he smiled and you killed when he left. But flowers withering isn't enough; that doesn't mend the ache. No – you want this entire story to die.
➵ pairing: Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: exes to ?, college!au; angst, fluff, smut; oneshot ➵ warnings: heartache, past breakup, flashbacks, memories, memory erasure (eternal sunshine of the spotless mind vibe), tears, angst angst angstttt, fights but also such tender moments, college sweethearts 🥺, smut (details to be added when the fic drops)… the ending 👁 ➵ est. word count: around 25k ➵ a/n: another angsty taegularities special :D coming next, so stay tuned!! 👁
–
"I do fear… what if one day, it's just me and my thoughts, and you're nowhere to be found?"
Jungkook laughed; not at your worries, but about how improbable the words sounded. It flooded a sense of relief through you when he promised, "To leave… I'd have to un-meet and forget about you entirely, you know?"
Summary: Somewhere out there, a sinister castle roams the hills behind the dense fog. And somewhere hidden inside, there is a man you need to find; to charm; to wreck. Provided… he doesn't destroy you first.
➵ pairing: Taehyung x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: howl's moving castle au, fantasy au, s2l / e2l; angst, fluff, smut; oneshot ➵ warnings: magic and stuff, spy stuff, frenemies?, bickering and initial dislike, fights, sexual tension, based on the movie version of HMC, multiple (2) smut scenes (details to be added but expect… quite smth :p) ➵ est. word count: 20k ➵ a/n: this has been a wip for literal years now, and i think it's time i sent it out into the world :') since i'm rereading the book (but the fic is based on the ghibli movie!), i've been feeling some sort of way, soooo… howl oneshot soon?
–
“Do you feel anything?”
You can't. There is no heartbeat, no steady rhythm, nothing. Yet he breathes, walks, smiles as if he's missing nothing.
You shake your head, and he chuckles, a crooked smirk that confuses you in the best way possible. He loosens his firm grip around your hand, but you still leave your touch right there, rubbing over his chest until he adds,
“A heart's a heavy burden.” The warmth of your fingers sprawls across his torso, his eyes closing. “Especially if you’re me.”
Summary: Jungkook and you try something very, very new.
➵ pairing: Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: fwb/fake dating/established relationship; fluff, smut; series ➵ warnings: smut smut smut (everything else is redacted bc that'd just spoil the whole thing ha ha :D) ➵ est. word count: 10-12k ➵ a/n: this is part of my colour me in series – for those who don't know! the series is still paused, but i might continue it sometime this year if things work out. this drabble would come next <3
–
"I've been promising it for so long now," he whispers, fingertips wandering along your bare sides, beneath your crop top. "Haven't I?"
Summary: Jeon Jungkook barges into your unproblematic life unexpectedly. He's supposed to stay for the summer; but it doesn't take long for the bright days to turn grey, stirring, bittersweet; a trigger for bleak memories and a reminder that sometimes, closeness shatters more than it heals.
➵ pairing: Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: s2l, summer/college au, dancer!jk; angst, fluff, smut; oneshot ➵ warnings: love triangle!!, yearning, thin walls lol, tears, fighting, old memories/childhood stuff, (mention of) drugs, abandonment, camping, multiple smut scenes (details will be added when the fic drops), plot twists, heartbreak, THE ENDING PLS ➵ est. word count: 40k lol; might split it in 2-3 parts if it gets too long ➵ a/n: i am most excited for this oneshot (?), and i have been for so long. it's a scary amount to write and i don't know when it'll be done. if i could, i'd write and post it rn… it's hella intimidating, but i love this story and i'm also hella excited, so… stay tuned and bring tissues <3
–
“Maybe… I don't know,” he pauses, blinking, and then starts anew, “maybe I'm this much with her, so I don't end up knocking at your door.”
A sting of guilt pierces your heart; you ask, “You… you guys hook up all the time. Doesn’t she feel… that way for you?”
“She doesn't.”
“And you? Do you feel anything for her?”
“I don't.” He hesitates again, shrugging a shoulder. “Well, friendship.”
“...Don't end up breaking hearts, Jungkook.”
Summary: In a world fractured by hatred, Yoongi seems your quiet salvation. But when a boy from your past returns, cloaked in secrets and unfinished memories, battle lines blur and you find yourself faced with a choice between the peace you built and the fire you never truly forgot.
➵ pairing: Yoongi x female reader, Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: royal au, s2l, childhood bf2l, love triangle; angst, fluff, smut; series ➵ warnings: there's a battle/war thing going on, love triangleeeee of the best sort, tender yoongi and fierce jungkook, some scenes are extremely tense – again in the best way possible, sexual tension, heartbreak, hate, betrayal (and nope, no cheating), multiple sex scenes (with both yoongi and jk (but not with both of them together lol)), falling in love hard, jealousy; the… the ending…… ➵ est. word count: 150-200k (around 10 chapters) ➵ a/n: THIS WILL LITERALLY RUIN US LMAO no seriously, i'm going to pour my everything into this. it's a story with quite some angst and heavy tension that even gave me trouble breathing when i was just outlining it :') yoongi in this is achingly sweet and jk is absolutely delicious. i think it'll be a piece i'm most proud of… and someday, i want to turn it into a novel. i hope you all love this 🤍
–
"I am in love with you," Yoongi whispers; your eyes water. "Even if you aren’t only in love with me. I know how this might go. And I am not saying we should make this official because – I am scared you might realise you need him more."
"It’s not about needing anybody…"
"But it’s about who sits in your heart so deeply that it feels like you need him to survive. I don’t know if I am that for you. But you’re that for me."
–
"Why are you still here, Jungkook? Why are you always around me? It’s not me you came back for."
"Sweetheart–"
"Would you have? If not for this?"
"If not for this… I would have come sooner."
Summary: A casual hook up morphs into a fierce fever dream when roommates slash best friends Min Yoongi and Jeon Jungkook bring heaven and hell to you – all at once, in one single night.
➵ pairing: Yoongi x female reader x Jungkook ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: kind of fwb, threesome, college au; fluff, hella smut ➵ warnings: yoongi and oc are fwb, teasing, flirting, kissing booth stuff, jk wears glasses and has long hair (manbun beloved), sexual tension, mid-sex convos, threesome, smut (e.g., double penetration, degradation, spit stuff, manhandling,.. (will expand on this once the full thing drops), aftercare, valentino yoongi and ck jk!! ➵ est. word count: 12-15k ➵ a/n: back to the ruin you days, i guess. am super excited for this to finally drop. gonna give y'all the best version of it possible, love you <3
–
“I’m just saying. Tonight might be a little too much for you with the two of us, you know? I’m not as easy to handle as you think.”
“I don’t think you are,” you confess. “But I don’t want to handle you. I want the opposite.”
There’s a glimmer in his eyes. A hint of desire, hunger growing in the predator’s big gaze. If he wants to reject you now, you’ll walk away.
But you don’t think he will.
And once more, courageous, you say, “Handle me, Jeon Jungkook.”
full teaser that i once posted!
Summary: You carve your name into Jungkook's mind with constant affection and care, and he keeps hoping that both your hearts beat in unison, synchronised and wild. But in reality, it’s only ever him who falls – you're as still as time... until, you're not.
➵ pairing: Jungkook x female reader ➵ rating: 18+ ➵ genre: singer!jungkook, bf2l but also brother's best friend; angst, fluff, smut; trilogy ➵ warnings: jealousy, another love triangle lmao, namjoon is her brother and his best friend, oc playing wingwoman, confessions, pain, tears, moving away, yearning, idiots to lovers too tbh, smut <3 ➵ est. word count: around 60-70k in total ➵ a/n: this is part of my evermore series which was supposed to have a oneshot/twoshot/trilogy per member with unrelated stories; but since life has gotten so crazy, i might not be able to write all of them. but i still have tae's fic 'cotton candy' written and want to work on timbre; so these will drop at least and i am so thrilled to share them. especially this lil mini series 🤍
–
Jeon Jungkook has been in love with you since the very first time he met you.
At least that's what he'd tell you if you ever asked.
He won’t tell you that whatever respect he housed for you since you were teenagers evolved into something far more advanced along the way.
That it was over time that your friendship started blooming like the tiger lillies he liked so much. You must have been sixteen then.
Now, around eight years have passed, and the thriving musician and your best friend Jeon Jungkook is still in love with you. Boundlessly, irreversibly.
–
a/n: hey hey!! this is a small overview of all the things i shall start preparing very, very soon. i will work on these wips whenever i can, and i am excited about every single one of them. i will ofc also drop longer teasers to each story when we reach that point!
i do also think you guys will love each story! so i can't wait to drop them one by one :') this post is also sort of to motivate and inspire me, so if you want to talk about any of these or hype them up… let's talk :p
–
also, here's the taglist! <3
#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#taehyung smut#taehyung fluff#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#bts fanfic#taehyung x reader#jeongguk smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#yoongi smut#yoongi fluff
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polarity | 06 yandere! jungkook

pairing: yandere!jungkook x (f) reader
genre: yandere
warnings: 18+ , toxic relationships, unhealthy and obsessive behavior , mentions of mental health, manipulation, blackmail, cheating
word count: 21.k
summary: Your best friend’s new boyfriend becomes infatuated with you..
Playlist
Parts: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06
❄️CS | 03 JK
A/N: im delirious after editing this so if you see any error , please pretend you didn’t 🥴💕💕!!! ily <3
—-
The anticipating silence filled the room as you stared down the familiar face in front of you. You could hear a ringing in your ears, the anger in your body simmering down and being replaced with sheer panic. Suddenly your mind was now moving rapidly through every possible reason as to why Hoseok could be here. Had your text messages been read? Had there been a slip up on your part? Had you mentioned him to Jungkook? What did he know? How did he know? Did they know each other? Your feet shifted to the side and you took a step back.
For a moment it felt as if this was some sort of soap opera playing out in front of you and you were just a pathetic puppet being wired by her master. Jungkook was the deranged puppeteer in this circus and you were the biggest fool of them all.
You inched forward, instinctively wanting to tell Hoseok to get away from him. Just the thought of him near Jungkook made you nervous. Let alone watching him being sat so comfortably in his apartment.
“What are you doing here?” You asked in a breathless whisper, the clear shock evident on your entire physique.
Hoseok’s eyes shifted between you and Jungkook, tensing up at your question. He seemed not only confused but upset. Your eyes didn’t miss the soju bottle next to him. The sight left you even more than perplexed . Why was Jungkook seemingly having a casual drink with the same boy he had threatened before? How had he managed to lure him into the apartment in the first place? How was he here? The worst of thoughts began to emerge in your head.
“That’s a little rude, isn’t it?” Jungkook feigned innocence, leaning in to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear like he often did in endearment. However, in this particular moment nothing about it felt sweet or endearing. “Considering you’re the one who invited him over.”
What?
Your face scrunched up in complete astonishment. You slapped his hand away and put more space between the two of you.
“What are you talking about? I didn’t invite anyone.” Your voice wentup in pitch towards the end. “What’s going on?”
You look between the both of them, they shared a swift knowing glance at each other before Jungkook locked his gaze onto you again.
What was that?
Something was so off. Not only were you terribly confused but it felt familiar almost, terribly familiar. It didn’t feel as if you had walked in on a clear betrayal. It felt as if you had walked into some sick kind of inside joke. A set up meant to leave you in the dark. It didn’t felt like you were the one that deserved an explanation.
But you noticed one thing. Jungkook’s prying eyes poorly concealed something else in them. Seething jealousy. A shudder left you as you braced for what he was going to do. You’ve messed up horribly.
You felt Hoseok’s eyes on you now too, his expression changing into a frown as he studied you.
“I told you,” Jungkook spoke, his dark eyes didn’t stray from you but he was clearly addressing the other man in the room. “She was playing you.”
You snap your head back at Hoseok in shock at the words coming out of Jungkook’s mouth. You weren’t expecting them but they helped confirm your suspicions. The puzzle pieces were still scattered but you slowly began to watch them fit together as you took in everything in front of you.
This couldn’t be happening.
“What the hell are you talking about!” You shrieked out but immediately took a deep breath, feeling yourself start to lose control of the emotions overwhelming you. A need to reel yourself back in took over, a part of you afraid of triggering another panic attack that you couldn’t handle at the moment. You flared your arms up as you neared towards Hoseok who looked more upset by the second.
“You texted me.” Hoseok stated shaking his head at you. “You sent me this location and told me to come over, that you were ‘really needed me right now’.”
You stare at him, freezing in your steps as you rapidly shake your head in denial. What was he talking about? Had Jungkook taken your phone somehow without your knowledge? But how? He hadn’t asked you to unlock your phone the other day. You hadn’t texted Hoseok since yesterday, vaguely giving him a run down of your day. In fact, you had been texting him far less these days as you were determined to still let him down gently. You figured it was working. Which is why you couldn’t believe your eyes at him being here. You would never tell him to meet you anywhere. Not with Jungkook’s inquisitive nature that you had barely escaped earlier. Let alone lead him right into a lion’s den.
“No, no.” You explained, pointing towards Jungkook. “He must’ve contacted you somehow, I never texted you! I don’t understand what the fuck is going on but I never texted you that!”
This was ridiculous. You gripped your bag and slung it off your shoulder. You began to search for your phone, eagerly needing to provide proof of this insane claim but Hoseok continued his accusation.
“You told me you broke up with him yet you led me directly to your very much still boyfriend’s place.” He continued you with a scoff. “The text came from your contact. What the hell are you doing? Why lie about something like that? Is this a sick game or some shit?”
The text came from you.
That was literally impossible. Jungkook didn’t know your passcode.
Did he?
Even if he did, you would’ve noticed he went through it. Wouldn’t you? You didn’t recall leaving your phone unattended. Or did you? The days here didn’t even feel real, you were struggling to recall much of anything right now. But most of all, you didn’t like the guilt you felt at the thought of Jungkook going through your phone. You should be angry and you were but another part of you also felt ashamed. It felt exactly like what you had felt that morning he confronted you about your phone and how you had thought you fooled him successfully for once.
The walls were closing in on you as you finally found your phone. Your fingers shook while tapping against the screen.
“She lied.” Jungkook chimed in. From the corner of your eye you could see him still observing you as he walked right over to the island. “She does this whenever we have a fight, she just wants attention.”
No.
No.
No.
You swallowed, your eyes stinging with newfound tears as you opened your texts, easily finding Hoseok’s contact that you placed under a girl’s name. Your closed your eyes tightly, letting out a silent curse. You were right there was no texts of you sending a message to meet up, your screen just showed the many texts of you casually talking and politely declining to meet up with him. But it was then you realized your mistake.
These messages didn’t rid you of any guilt. They only dug your grave further.
You had been deceptive. Not with malicious intent but you had been nonetheless. You had lied to not only Hoseok, but to Jungkook.The latter unsurprisingly filled you with much more dread. No matter which way you looked at it, this looked exactly how he intended it to look like. The story of an unfaithful lover that had been caught red handed with another man by her husband.
Jungkook fit the part with ease with the way his demeanor promised silence before the storm. The forced coolness in his tone was hiding a beast beneath it. You suppose you fit the part too by how dry your mouth had gotten. You found yourself suddenly not wanting to meet his scrutinizing gaze. You went behind his back, didn’t you? You lay in his bed every night, ate his food, enjoyed his luxurious and in return you sneak around. Did you not deserve his wrath? Perhaps you deserved much more.
Another skipped heartbeat.
What was wrong with you? The rational side of you was slipping away little by little. It knew well that this wasn’t your fault but your feelings were fighting strongly against all rationality. If it wasn’t your fault then why were you hesitating to show them your phone? If you were so innocent then why did you feel so dirty? You gripped your phone painfully tight officially panicking as you delayed to turn it over like you were so eagerly planning on doing a moment ago. How could you be so idiotic? Why didn’t you delete these texts? Why didn’t you block him all together? You’ve not only screwed yourself over but you’ve taken Hoseok down with you.
Jungkook seemed to notice your struggle, his mask slightly slipping.
“ What’s the matter, baby?” The corner of his mouth quirked up slightly. “Show your proof.”
He practically spit out the last word, twisted amusement taking over his gaze. You felt your lips tremble as you tried your hardest to swallow down a sob.
“Jungkook.” You pleaded with wide eyes. “Please, why are you doing this?”
His expression sharpened at that. Instead of taking pity in you, like you foolishly assumed he might, he glared daggers at you. His weakness seemed to be seeing you break and seeing you break down in tears. As sick as it was he did once tell you he hated to see you cry and you cling to that slither of hope that would appeal to his more softhearted side. But of course you should’ve known better than to trust you had Jungkook figured out in the slightest.
“Me?” He asked you incredulously, his mask fully falling now as you saw his eyes flash with a familiar type of hurt you had seen in them before. The same type of hurt when you had yelled at him that you would never love him. You took yet another cautious step back, surprised at how much the look seemed to leave you completely chilled this time. You didn’t remember feeling this breathless last time you had caused it.
“How do you have the audacity to say that to me.” He sneered at you and one stride towards you had him closing most of the space you’d been creating between you. “How about you turn over the phone screen and show me how much you’ve been lying to my face?”
Another step.
“How about you tell me exactly where you’ve been all day.”
Another skipped heartbeat.
He knew where’d you been.
“No.” You continued to shake your head and turned your frantic gaze towards the other poor man in the room.
“Hoseok, you need to listen to me. This isn’t what it looks like, he’s doing this on purpose to-"
Jungkook’s cruel laugh cut you off, he ran a hand through his dark locks in disbelief. You watched in horror as he played the betrayed boyfriend role so convincingly because he genuinely did feel like you betrayed him. You felt your chest ache at the sight. Why did it ache? Why did it hurt to see him like this? Not only had you not even sent that message to Hoseok but you didn’t owe Jungkook any sense of loyalty. You didn’t owe him anything.
But the broken look in the large doe eyes that you had spent every night looking into since you got here made you feel like you owed him the world. You saw the corner of his lip twitch as he tried to blink away his glossy stare.
“It’s exactly what it looks like.” Jungkook stated with determination. So sure of himself. He tilted his head to the side, turning to Hoseok. “Did you know what she had just finished doing just before she received your adorable first text?”
You stiffen at his implication and at the way he comes up behind you. His breath tickles your ear as his fingers come to brush your hair out of your face and wraps his other arm around your waist. You let out a small gasp. The hand on your hair slowly runs down the back of your neck and inner shoulder. The cold sensation of his rings making you involuntarily shiver.
“Or rather who she was doing.” Before you can react, he pulls you further into him and places a kiss on the top of your head. “You have no idea how pretty she looks on top of me.”
Your jaw hung at his awful crude words and you harshly pull yourself away from him, quickly putting back the previous distance in between you. Your face felt like it was on fire. You had nearly forgotten the undeniable mean streak Jungkook possessed. It had been easy to pretend it had never existed with how sweetly he had treated you all this time you’ve shared his space and his bed. How quickly had you forgotten the many sides of him, the ugly sides that came out when things didn’t go his way and when his doll had overstepped her restraints.
But it was obvious that this was more than Jungkook being cruel, he was making a point. Staking his claim.
“Stop it! What’s wrong with you?” You didn’t need to even look towards Hoseok’s direction to know how incredibly uncomfortable he was. It was clear in the way he cleared his throat and went to stand up.
“There wasn’t a need for all of this, I would’ve never asked you out if I’d known you two had just been on some kind of break.”
“We never broke up, she just loves making me jealous whenever we have ….disagreements.” Jungkook replied for you with a smirk spreading on his lips that reminded you of a devious child.
You were breathing heavily now, struggling to ground yourself as you felt the awful dread start traveling through you once again. It was triggered and you couldn’t do anything to stop it now. You had mere seconds left before your mind was burdened by sheer panic.
“She was just using you, unfortunately you were the perfect bait.” Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you. You watched nervously as he walked back over to the counter and leaned on it, directly facing Hoseok. You could practically hear his grin. “You need to realize how girls work, you seem a bit inexperienced .“
Your phone dropped with a loud ‘clank’ but the two men didn’t seem to even notice it. It may have looked like you simply threw it to onto the floor in rage but your hands hand not stopped shaking. You felt the hideous need to run your nails down your arms and face . It was taking great effort not to do so, you opted for running them down frantically through your hair instead. He was turning the tables completely and successfully. He was playing this off as a typical unsteady relationship where he made you look like the dramatic girlfriend who was simply acting out when there was trouble in paradise.
Hoseok let out a breathless laugh, shaking his head as he stood up from his seat. He seemed to be completely over it.
“Whatever, you need to tell your crazy girlfrie-"
“You need to learn to take threats more seriously. I told you to stay away from her .” You heard Jungkook cut him off with now a much less neutral tone. All casualness gone. You didn’t need to look at him to know why the air seemed heavier now, you wanted to tell Hoseok to be quiet and not poke him further but you could barely focus your spiraling mind on anything other than the feeling of your chest tightening.
“Listen, I didn’t think it was all that serious. She never actually told me she had a boyfriend. You can’t blame me for not knowing right?” There was a slight defensiveness to how Hoseok said it and you couldn’t help but feel bad. He’d been blindsided completely. When he spared a glance at you his face scrunched up in seeming concern at your worsening state of panic.
“Right.” Jungkook nodded. His grin still present but it faltered a little when he noticed Hoseok’s gaze on you.
“Hoseok, please listen to me. I-I did lie but it wasn’t because of what he’s saying. I wasn’t playing with you. At first I was trying to-” A frustrated sigh left you as you tried to figure out how to explain yourself. You couldn’t tell him the complete truth, not in front of Jungkook. His menacing blackmail still hovered over you like your own personal grey cloud.
“To let you down easily.” You cringed at your confession. It sounded much worse saying it out loud and you saw Jungkook raising both his eyebrows in mocking manner. You glared at the realization that hit you.
He knew you wouldn’t able to explain yourself. That’s why he brought Hoseok here. He wanted to see you cower and admit your mistake in front of him with no way out. Perhaps he even knew he’d trigger your anxiety by doing so. He’s managed to gather every key that unlocked your weaknesses.
Hoseok clenched his jaw, his lips set in a straight line. He looked like he couldn’t wait to sprint out the door. You knew you’d find no help in him or hope he’d see through Jungkook’s manipulation anymore. Now he was convinced you’ve dragged him into some unnecessary relationship drama.
“How considerate of you, baby.” Jungkook continued his taunting but you heard his true displeasure beneath it. He turned his attention back to Hoseok and circled the other side of the island where he sat.
The apartment was starting to feel much smaller than you recalled.
“So now that we cleared that up and there’s no room for pesky excuses . I would very much like you to stay the fuck out of my relationship. “
You flinched at the venom in his tone. The rage he’d been burying coming to the surface and poured itself all over the last sentence.
Seeing just how close Jungkook had gotten to him wasn’t helping your growing panic. He was taller than Hoseok but that wasn’t what was intimidating about him. It was his entire demeanor sending off such drastic mixed signals .There was nothing worse than not knowing how to predict an opponent in the slightest.
Jungkook placed a rough hand on Hoseok’s shoulder.
You swore your heart stopped.
“And I suggest you start by blocking my girlfriend’s number from your phone and forget she ever existed to you.” He leaned into Hoseok’s ear, his eyes tracing back to you as that mean lazy smile remained on his lips. From the outside it seemed like the typical comrade bro hug, almost friendly in manner. Two good-looking college boys sharing some type of gossip.
“I’d hate to show you what a name like mine can do to a nobody like you.” If he had meant to whisper it then he failed terribly because you had heard his threat perfectly. “Money talks a lot around here, I’m sure you know that. I could make you lose everything you’ve worked for or come very close to it. You won’t get a second warning.”
There was a few seconds of silence. Or minutes. You really couldn’t tell.
“I get it, I swear I don’t want any problems.” Hoseok replied sounding more peeved than shaken by your insane ‘boyfriend’s’ words. He probably assumed he was just another entitled rich boy who was throwing around empty threats because his ego was hurt.
He’d be half right but there was a lot more wrong with Jungkook than his spoilt attitude and those threats were not as empty as he thought.
Jungkook stared at him for a long moment, whether to take in his words or perhaps looking for an indication of a lie you weren’t sure but once he seemed satisfied he gave him a slow nod.
“Good.” He finally took a step away from him and grabbed the soju bottle next to him, shoving it into Hoseok’s chest. “Need me to call for an Uber? I heard bus fares are quite high nowadays.”
Hoseok’s face flushed but you were certain it wasn’t due to the alcohol.
“I can walk.” He grumbled as he began to walk towards the front door.
“Suit yourself.” Jungkook flashed him another smile, this time displaying his perfect teeth. It was an uncanny sight.
You hated yourself for not even managing to get a another word out, too engrossed in your own doomsday. The fleeing sensation of humiliation didn’t have room to properly settle, overridden by much more powerful emotions that never shared their home in your tortured mind. The nails were now starting to dig into your arms, you barely felt Hoseok walk past but you for sure didn’t miss l the last nasty glance he sent your way before the sound of the door slamming shut echoed through the room.
An immediate sob left your lips, your knees slowly gave out and you let yourself fall against the cold ceramic tiles. You lifted your head up slightly, watching the man in front of you with tears pooling your vision. He had never not been quick to comfort you during your attacks but this time he simply stood there with no intention of running to comfort you. Instead he let out a sigh, his eyes remained on the door with an odd look on his face. For a moment, it seemed like he was holding back a sob himself. His eyes shifting to the corner of the room before over to you. He bit his bottom lip harshly as he ran a hand over his face.
“Why the tears baby? You caused this.” He muffled into his own hands, turning his back to you. You watched his long legs paced back and forth between the small space of where you lay. Watching him run his fingers run over his now messy hair.
You continued to sob quietly, breaths growing more shallow. How could he say that to you? You had caused this?
“Get up. We need to get you into a cold shower if you want to feel better.” You heard him order as he struggled to contain a steady tone. He turned around, placing a hand on the marble counter and leaning his weight on it causing his muscles to flex underneath his thin t-shirt. His bottom lip was now swollen and red. Eyes puffy and distraught.
It was so unfair. All of it.
“You hacked my phone, didn’t you? Because I didn’t send that text to Hoseok and how else would you have known….where I was.” You muttered the last part mostly to yourself, the idea becoming more of a fact than a theory. You had assumed he had simply followed you but if he had gone as far as hacking your phone then he surely would’ve used it to track your location.
There was no way he had followed you either, the timing wouldn’t have made much sense and you were certain you would’ve spotted his car at some point considering how careful you had been the entire commute there.
You jump suddenly at the sound of his hand slamming down harshly on the counter.
“No shit.” Jungkook spit out and you draw back. The abrupt action caught you off guard. You had never witnessed him physically express his anger before.
“Now.get.up.” He repeated. “I can’t help you if you’re sobbing on the floor.”
“I don’t want anything from you!” You shouted back, sending him the most hateful look you could muster. He blinked, eyebrows furrowing as still he refused to look your way but you swore you saw a flash of regret on his face.
He took a deep breath and regained most of his composure. His jaw clenched.
“What did you expect? Did you really think I wouldn’t find out? There will be no secrets between us. I won’t allow it.”
Well, wasn’t that just rich coming from him.
“No secrets? I-I know what you did.” You accused in between sobs, your hands planted firmly on the floor as you shifted your body weight towards your right leg that left you in an awkward sitting position. It was hard to ignore the chills running down your entire body, your mind struggled to focus on what you wanted to scream at him.
He turned his head to look down at you. His penetrating gaze meeting yours at last.
“I know that you were the one that made my professor accuse me of plagiarism.” You said after another intake of breath. “ You did it, didn’t you? You blackmailed him! Just like you did to me. Just like you do to everyone in order to get your way. I don’t know with what but you did.”
He was silent. Just quietly looking at you.
Your short breaths only quickened, the horrible feeling coming in waves, stopping then gaining more force. You felt like you were stuck in a mid fall. It felt like years passed before Jungkook slowly made his way over to you, your eyes traced over the slight twitch of his fingers and cubic steel bracelet around his wrist. He bent down to your level and you felt his fingers lifting your chin up at him. You knew he could feel you shaking because he angled your face towards him again when you tried to look off to the side, his set gaze halting your rapid eye movements.
“Seems like a little birdie has been talking.” He whispered to you, he almost sounded disappointed. “That just won’t do, baby.”
You felt the sudden urge to slap him but you went to push him away instead. He caught your arms before you could do so, pushing them towards his chest and pulling your whole body closer to him. His actions were rough and careless. An indicator of just how much you’ve pissed him off this time. You could feel your teeth chattering now, your panic attack reaching its peak as you felt your vision blur. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice all over you except you wished someone actually had just to rid you of this feeling.
“You know she’s right, you know I’m right. That’s why you’re so upset.” You went on as you squirmed in his hold.
“How easily you’ve forgotten what she’s done to you. Is it that easy to fool you, baby? Does that bitch really have such a tight hold on you still that you that you accept her words as truth without question?” He sounded a parent scolding a small foolish child over taking sweets from a stranger.
He was wrong. Your once all-consuming love for Eunji had turned into a grudge that you couldn’t shake off. She might’ve been a horrible friend but why would she lie about something like that? It seemed too specific. It seemed like she knew more than she was willing to admit and for some reason that only angered you more. She knew more yet she had given you crumbs in return. Was that the plan all along or was she making you a victim of her selfish bitterness again? Even after everything, it was hard for you to believe she hated you that much.
Because you had seen it. You had seen a fragment of sincerity in her eyes earlier. A small piece of pity, no matter how fleeing.
“Ask your little boyfriend what he was doing walking into Professor Clark’s classroom a few weeks ago.”
You swore you had heard it in her voice too. As if she had been doing you one last favor. Granting you one last bit of kindness for all those years spent together being thrown away. But the more you ponder over it, the more Jungkook’s planted seed of doubt began to grow its roots. Had you only seen what you had hoped to?
“You accuse me of lying to you over some gossip your little fake friend filled your head with? It didn’t take long for you to go running back into her arms, did it? Where is your pride?” The disgust in his voice would be hard to fake and you had to look away from the sheer sincerity in it.
“I didn’t run back to her! I wanted answers and-"
“And did you find them?” He cut you off, eyes searching your face like something in it had already granted him the answer. “No, of course you didn’t baby. You let her have the last laugh again.”
Again
“How would she know to make that connection and why would she lie about her seeing you walk into our professor’s classroom weeks ago.” You hissed back at him eagerly grasping to take control of the conversation that he had so easily overpowered in seconds.
God, you really couldn’t breathe.
“Do you hear yourself? You’re asking me why a girl that has been jealous and spiteful towards you for years would try and scheme against you for sleeping with her ex-boyfriend! ” Jungkook sneered back and you flinched at the sudden raise of volume in his voice.
“Lying comes as easily as breathing to some. Haven’t you learned that by now? You really are more naive than I thought if you have yet to realize how unkind this world is and how often people like you get trampled over.”
You let out another quivering sob, growing more and more upset by his words. You might be naive but you weren’t that naive to not realize that he wasn’t the one who should be saying this to you. Him of all people. It felt like a stab in the chest. Jungkook lets go of your arms and brings them to cradle your face in his hands instead. His thumbs wiping away your never ending tears. His action is meant to be gentle but his grip is so tight that you feel his nails digging slightly into your skin.
“I’ve only ever tried to protect you, baby. Protect you from her and from yourself.” His hot breath sent waves of shock through you, you felt his lips lightly graze your own. “How many times must I save you from her? And from everyone who has ill intentions towards you before you realize it’s only ever going to be me.”
He lifted one hand from your cheek to carress your hair, those glossy doe eyes pulling you in and tugging at the invisible strings on your limbs and heart.
“How many times must I prove my love to you?”
This wasn’t love. It couldn’t be.
It felt like something much stronger. Much too different. Your love for Eunji had never felt this overwhelming. It never felt like you were being lulled to a perfect sleep, just to be suddenly plunged into a free fall. This didn’t feel anything like a secret held close to your chest, your heart skipping a beat everytime you used to see her even when you’d already seen her three times before that day. How giddy you felt at her accidental touches. How much you seemed to please her and never wanted to see her in pain. How easily it came to you to want to fix all her minor inconveniences.
No, this felt nothing like that. It wasn’t a secret. It didn’t allow itself to be. It was too loud. Too ugly. Whatever you had felt for Eunji, it felt five times more heightened with Jungkook. His presence felt like too much yet like there was never enough of it to actually violate you. It fit you in a way you were so frightened to admit. He had taken a piece of you that you never agreed on giving him. Yet it was that very foreign feeling that had you craving him in moments you shouldn’t have. In nearly all hours of a day. You were frightened at what you had been feeling these past two weeks sharing his space. Completely terrified at what he had managed to make you feel for him in such little time.
Even now, he felt so familiar yet so untouchable.
“This isn’t love.” You replied back in a broken whisper. It was mistake and you realized it quickly but it was too late to take it back. You blamed your overly emotional state for the thoughtless response.
A few beats of silence passed with only your uneven breaths filling the room. Jungkook continued to caress your hair before the corners of his lips twitched. An almost sad small appearing on them.
“Fine.” Another few beats of silence. The heavy air lingered.
You licked your dry lips as he retrieved his hand completely from you. Your eyes tracked the movement before they landed on the unreadable look on his face.
“ If you think I’m such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. ” He stated lowly, dark eyes taking in your features again. “And it will make everything else I’ve done pale in comparison.”
His words sink in.
You hadn’t wanted that all and you don’t think you’ve ever heard him sound so disturbed. It rattled you to the core. You jumped forward to try and salvage what was left of the ruin you may have caused yourself and others.
“Jungkook n-no. I don’t want that. I don’t think that of you.” Breathlessly you pleaded with him. Not even a minute ago you wanted to rid yourself of his touch on you and now you were bringing your own hands to his face. The roles reversing with haste.
“But you just said it, baby. You don’t think this is love.” His sharp look was not budging. “What choice do you leave me if you won’t even believe my feelings for you after everything I’ve done? I’ll have to make you see it, one way or another.”
One way or another. That could mean so many things for someone like him and you didn’t want to find out which method he’d try out first.
“I-I do believe them. I don’t know why I said that.”
“Don’t lie to me.” He said with a disillusioned look and clasped your wrists. “For the third time tonight.”
Your fingers run down his cheeks as you as you near your face to his again.
“I’m not! I’m sorry. I’m sorry but please don’t do anything. I’m begging you, please.” It was pathetic . You were pathetic but you suppose you had already lost your dignity a long time ago. There wasn’t much else to lose and you weren’t sure you’d ever manage to have a spine when it came to the boy in front of you.
He eyed you.
“What it is it that you’re so afraid I’ll do?” He muttered, his breath once again warm against your lips.
You frowned. It was a trick question, wasn’t it? Was he genuinely asking you?
“I just don’t want you to hurt anyone.” You stressed, your fingers trembled terribly against his cheeks.
You felt his thumbs brushing the inside of your wrists in a circular motion gently. The soft action wasn’t to fully soothe you but it did distract you for split second.
“Anyone?” Jungkook asked lowly. It stumped you a bit. You tried to find some clarity in his fixed look but it didn’t display much of anything. In fact, you swore his eyes were inviting you to some sort of challenge.
So you simply nodded in response.
“Hm.” He hummed, his upper lip lifting slightly before he nodded back.
Was he agreeing with you?
You let out the smallest sigh of relief. It probably looked pained.
His hands then fully clasped your wrists and he stood up without warning. The force of it dragged you up with him due to his locked grip. He tugged you against him as he made his way down the hallway. You kept quiet, already starting to feel your body weight itself down like it usually did when your panic attack lost its strength. The numbness traveled through your every muscle. Jungkook had released your wrists and instead guided you by the shoulder with your body remaining pressed into his chest.
He opened the bedroom door and guided you towards the bathroom. The unease in your stomach had not left but it was easier to ignore with how heavy your eyelids felt. You felt him suddenly leave your side and brush past you to go turn on the shower. You caught a glimpse of yourself on the large mirror above the black vanity sink . The teary gaze and snot dripping from your nose. Your wet cheeks and swollen eyes. Your gaze accidentally caught sight of Jungkook while he slid open the shower door. His stare was hollow.
A look you don’t remember ever seeing on him before.
You looked away, unsure of what to make of it. When he approached you again, you didn’t protest as he stripped you both down. Once in the shower, you kept your back to him and fully faced the shower head that washed away any lingering nerves. You couldn’t help but zoom in on the ombré ceramic tile design in front of you as your mind drifted off again. Jungkook’s hands massaged your shoulders gently as he ran the loofa down your back. The act was intimate and normal. But your thoughts didn’t let you rest for the remainder of the night. Not even when you were both in bed, tucked under the soft warm sheets. Not even when he cuddled beside you, rubbing your back continuously and you listened to his steady breathing.
The normalcy of it all didn’t break your trance because you were still thinking of the look Jungkook had given you. The daring glint in his eyes masking the seething nature. The vacant look you caught of him in the mirror.
Something wasn’t right.
—
It was ache in your shoulders that woke you.The soft gel pillow underneath your cheek felt wet and you inwardly cursed and wiped your mouth.You thought you had dropped drooling months ago. You had yet to open your eyes, wanting to stay this oblivious and at peace before a certain reality hit you. It took a few seconds for the disorientation to fade away as you slowly blinked up at the familiar white ceiling with the recessed lighting now completely shut off due to the natural sunlight illuminating the space.
You lifted your head and let out a soft groan at the stiffness in your muscles.
It was quiet.
The memories of last night came flooding back in rapidly and your stomach churned at them. You pushed them away as much as you could. If only it had been a nightmare. How much you wished it had never happened and how much you wished you hadn’t walked out the door yesterday. At this point, you weren’t sure if you cared about if what Eunji had said was true or not. If anything, it had left you even more puzzled about everything. Both of them had played you in one way or another. It seemed like they were taking turns, tugging on each of your arms in complete opposite directions.
You craned your neck and looked around the empty room. Jungkook wasn’t in bed but he usually wasn’t, he had made it a habit to cook breakfast before you woke.
Flinging your feet to the side , you climbed off the bed and made your way out the door and into the hallway. You could smell coffee and hear shuffling. When you made into the living room you came to a halt upon seeing Jungkook in the kitchen like you expected. He seemed to be chopping something on the cutting board, a tomato maybe.
“Morning, baby.” He greeted you with a warm smile when he noticed you. He was dressed in casual pajama pants with an oversized black t-shirt. His hair was messy, clearly he’d not bothered to touch it yet but it made him look more endearing.
“Morning.” You reply with a small smile of your own despite the shake in your voice. He was acting like nothing had happened and you didn’t know if you should feel immense relief at that or not. It didn’t feel natural but you could very well be making something out of nothing. As you approach him though, your eyeline shifts to the floor and instantly a realization hits you.
Your eyebrows knit together as your eyes search the ground and walk towards the same spot you were last night.
“What is it?” Jungkook asks when you fail to find what you’re looking for. You glance up at him, his curious gaze had followed yours to the floor.
“M-My phone. I dropped it last night. Did you see it?”
“Oh that.” He returns to pouring orange juice into a glass, the eggs on the stove sizzling behind him. “ I have it.”
You blink in confusion but try to conceal it.
“Oh.” You swallow. “Can you give it to me?”
Jungkook meets your gaze and slides over the glass of orange juice to you. You thank him quietly before taking a seat on the tall stool of the island.
“And why would I do that?” Your in the midst of taking a sip of the juice when he says it so you snort a little into the glass, assuming he’s joking for a split second.
But you notice the raise of his eyebrow, eyeing your movements as he awaits your response.
Tensing, you put the glass down and frown.
“Um,” You don’t even know what to say. “Well, because I need it.”
It came out more so like a question when you had intended it to sound like a firm reply. Jungkook notices your poor attempt as well, a smirk threatening to spread his lips.
“For what? To text another library boy?” He placed both his hands on the counter, leaning foward. He wasn’t that close but you fought the urge to lean back. His eyes narrowed into slits as bit the inside of his cheek.
His words make your mouth dry despite the juice you had just taken a sip of. Apparently the disturbed thoughts that had haunted you all night might’ve had some validity.
Yet this didn’t shock you any less.
But what did you think was going to happen? You had ignored all the warnings. Jungkook’s jealous side was something you never wanted to witness again and you had feeling you were only scratching the surface.
“Jungkook, I didn’t do anything. I was only trying to let him off easily. I-I wasn’t looking for anything else. I already explained this last night . I felt bad for what you had threatened him with when we weren’t even together.” It wasn’t a lie but you knew it didn’t matter by the way his expression didn’t budge one bit. Whatever innocent crush you had felt for Hoseok was long gone. Not only due to the sheer embarrassment that had occurred that no doubt had left him with the worst impression of you but you were not willing to put him in Jungkook’s radar again. You deeply regretted ever texting him at all.
It was too late to try to explain anything to Hoseok anyway. Even if you ever got him alone again you were sure he’d run the opposite direction at just your mere sight. He probably thought you were crazy.
This was crazy.
“I’m confused.” Jungkook’s scrutinizing gaze trapped you in place. “You said you didn’t want me to hurt anyone.”
“I-what?”
“You said you didn’t want me to hurt anyone.” He repeats lowly.
“I-I don’t-”
“Good. And I won’t as long as you stay in line.” He shrugs as if he’s discussing the weather and not the confiscation of your phone.
“But I need my phone, I need to text my parents.”
“I already did. They’re fine.” He gives you a tight-lipped smile but you could see how much he was trying to control the rage that traveled through him. The tightness of his grip on the edges of his counter, the veins on his hands and arms popping out slightly.
“Those petty excuses won’t work on me. You can only blame yourself as to why I don’t trust you anymore baby.” His eyes trailed down you. “Did you really think I’d be okay with you texting other men or anyone who shows interest in you for that matter?”
You looked away from him.
“No! That’s not what it was like.” You sputtered, feeling that sense of guilt invade you once again.
You heard him scoff.
“Have I been too nice, baby? I have, haven’t I? Because I don’t know what gave the impression that you could ever run back to that bitch or flirt with others to ‘let them down easy’ and think I would sit back and watch like your little lap dog.”
You watched his controlled breathing, afraid to make the slightest move that could set him off.
Deciding not to reply , you simply watched him and hoped he’d gather himself but your silence seemed to only edge him further because he pulled a hand away from the counter and reached over to take your glass away. You saw him twirl it around in his hand, your gaze fully lifting to meet his due to the unexpected action and he glared at you as he took a sip from it.
“Did you know he had a sister? Your little library boy.” He clarifies as he swallows, setting the glass back down. “She just got married. Would be a shame if a pair of newly weds suffered an unfortunate accident…or any other type of terrible luck.”
You were completely floored by his words. A full body chill running through you. You wished you had heard him wrong but the way he studied you expectedly made it all too real.
Were you that surprised though? How could you be? It wasn’t the first time Jungkook had made these sort of malicious threats. It was the very thing he had done when he had gotten you alone for the first time. There was no limits for the wealthy and well-read.
What really struck you was how and why he would go as far to involve completely innocent people that had no connection to either of you and exactly how long he had known about this? Had he accessed your private texts recently or had known of them for a while now? If it was the latter that would mean he has deliberately let you text Hoseok up until yesterday. Why had he waited that long? Why didn’t he confront you about it immediately?
Given your frantic state last night, you hadn’t even thought about the possibility. You had thought his actions were impulsive and reckless, that he had find out about the texts when he had tracked your location. But that didn’t make sense , did it? Because then why did Jungkook already know so much about Hoseok’s family? It was unlikely for even him to acquire this type of information overnight . Your stomach sunk at the knowledge that you really had underestimated Jungkook again. Because this suddenly didn’t seem like a simple impulsive act of jealousy. It seemed much more calculating
“Leave them alone, Jungkook. Please don’t involve anyone else into this. I’m begging you.” You spoke gently despite the mounting fear of upsetting him with one wrong word.
“I didn’t involve anyone , baby. You did.” He replied just as gently. It felt demeaning but the side of you that had began to cater to him thought he might’ve had a point.
“Okay.” You nodded. “Okay I did, I’m sorry. You don’t have to worry about it. You told him to block me, there’s nothing to worry about.”
He pushed himself away fully from the counter and came up beside you. He gave you back your glass of juice. He seemed much taller from this sitting angle and you watched him carefully as he played with your necklace. His necklace.
“You’ll have plenty of time to show me just how sorry you are, baby.” He mumbled to you as if he was granting you a token of consideration. Running his hands across the butterfly pendant.
“Because I’ve also withdrawn your college transfer. It really did pain me to do, I don’t like seeing you upset.” You looked up at him wide eyed and tried to process what he was saying.”But it pains me even more that you were so willing to discard me and what I felt after all I’ve done is love you.”
That rage was brewing behind his dark eyes. You realize now that it had never left, only fooled you into thinking he would bend to your will.
Discard him? What was he talking about? There was more than just insecurity behind those words. You could see the clear trigger in his entire demeanor. It was as if he was hell-bent on punishing you for something you never did.
“J-Jungkook please, I have classes I need to finish . I can’t drop out. My parents, they will-”
“Shhh, it’s temporary.” He halts your rambling with with a squeeze to your shoulder. “I can get a word in to enroll you next semester or whenever I see fit.”
That didn’t make you feel better but held back any protests.
“It’s all up to you really. It’s up you to show me when I can trust you again.” He leaned down to give you a kiss on the top of your head before brushing past you and walking back over towards the opposite side again.
“Now let’s eat, I made your favorite. I hope you like it.”
You watch him turn off the stove and you were a little surprised not anything was burnt. You let him plate the breakfast without uttering a word because all that was running through your head was how stupid you were for ever letting him take care of the transfer. You had paid a much bigger price than you thought. Jungkook was no longer satisfied enough knowing he had your body and compliance. He wanted every bit of you.
Because you suspected what had truly scared him last night.
The thought of someone else taking your mind and heart away from what he thought was already his. For what he worked so hard for. He didn’t want to share any side of you. He was frightened of what threat Hoseok and Eunji had both posed against him. He had you physically but it was breaking him inside that he didn’t have you fully yet. Mind and soul.
That was it, wasn’t it?
He wanted to frighten you and push the limits. Show a new face. A new side. Because nobody really could save you from him except himself.
He was going to show you what a mistake you made not choosing the correct mask.
—
As the weeks had gone by, you had grown more disillusioned with the hope of returning to college.
During the first week, Jungkook had not seem to be wavering on his decision no matter how much you had indirectly pleaded with him. It had been made clear that you wouldn’t get far with your methods to suck up to him in the way you had.
While he welcomed your touch and over enthusiastic displays of affection, he had only been entertaining the idea of it. It had reminded you of the time he’d seen right through your performance at the cafe but unlike then, this time he had not stopped or called you out right away.
He watched how far you’d go.
And you had gone far.
By the second week you had begin to simply cater to his every need. Waking up to cook breakfast for him instead for a change, not bothering him while he worked in his office and also cooking dinner. Then you moved on to displaying more physical attention, initiating kisses and prolonging hugs despite your racing heartbeat at the closeness. You surprisingly grew so used to it that it almost began to do on instinct. Due to spacing it out through the weeks, you had thought you’d made progress .
It was not too much all at once like your previous mistake.
Your feelings were also not entirely fabricated this time which made it more dangerous. Your attachment to Jungkook had been growing as a result of the isolation he had caused you. It had already been the case before the incident and now it only grew stronger despite your efforts to keep a level head.
But you had grown desperate when the pressuring reality hit you each night of what your parents would think of you slacking off and what it could mean to not have any future planned out. To have wasted all their efforts and money just for a stupid mistake on your part. You had not been able to even access your bank account since you had been left with no phone and you had not dared ask to burrow Jungkook’s MacBook yet in order to not draw any unnecessary attention.
You thought you could gain it all back and that you had not just tried hard enough.
However, the incident that occurred the very night you exhausted your last efforts had been a horrid and rookie mistake. It was your first and only strike up until now and the memory served as a reminder to not tread in murky waters.
~~
You waited for Jungkook’s reaction as he took the first bite. Gripping your own chopsticks tightly, you eyed the meal you had spent nearly two hours preparing, making sure you had perfected it to his liking. He nodded immediately, his doe eyes twinkling.
“It’s amazing baby.” He said in between bites, eyebrows scrunched together. “Really amazing.”
A soft sigh of relief leaves you, a smile spreading your lips.
“I was nervous, I’ve never cooked this before.” You explained, licking your lips. “I’m not much a cook though, my mom used to complain about it when I was younger.”
Jungkook hummed in response as he took another bite.
“My dad used to bake with me often though. I think I’m better at that.” The casual comment was meant to invoke the memory of the Christmas you spent with him but you aren’t sure if you succeed because his eyes drift over to center of the table.
“Are you wearing the perfume I gave you?” He asks, pulling you away from your focused script.
“Huh?” You ask then nod. “Oh y-yeah. I love it.”
He had given you a new perfume as a gift a few days ago. It was a pleasant warm rose and musk smell. The gesture came seemingly out of nowhere but the more optimistic side of you thought it maybe was due to him feeling guilty for leaving you alone here the few times he went to his father’s company for work. It would only be a couple of hours but hours felt like days when there was nothing but yourself to keep you sane.
He had not physically locked you in here. Not that you think he could anyway. But he had other ways of keeping you here, the key card he had previously let you borrow had now been revoked. He carried it with him at all times and if there was a spare one, you had not found it yet. Of course, you could physically leave and walk out but with no key, you would be forced to hang around the lobby until he came back. You were also not that dumb to try and venture off without your phone. It created too many obstacles in your head, you could get lost or something could happen to you and you wouldn’t be able to call for help. He must’ve of known that well and now that you thought it over, that was likely his main goal despite the jealousy tantrum he had tried to sell you.
Not that the jealousy had been act. You’d seen the vicious green-eyed monster take over him.
But admittedly Jungkook had already hacked your phone before. There was nothing stopping him from doing it again. Taking away your phone was a way of keeping tabs on you in another way. You felt stupid you didn’t realize it sooner though.
“I like it.” His eyes trail over you.
“Thanks. Me too.” You nod, coming to smell your wrist. “Guess you know my taste well.”
He half grins at that.
“I-I was saying that my dad used bake with me on holidays and it made me remember what my mom told me last time I talked to her.” You try to steer the conversation back.
That peaked his interest.
“What did she say?” He asked, taking a tip of his white wine.
“She said my dad had lost his job but she assured me he would find a new one soon since he’d already applied to another warehouse.”
He nods slowly urging you to continue.
“But it just makes me feel really guilty that I’m sitting here doing nothing all day while they’re working all day to….support my education. My parents are getting older.” You bit your lip, the actual guilt really hit you for a moment.
Jungkook eyes you, tapping his chopsticks against the plate.
“Do you need me to send them money?”
“No! W-What? No.” You let a breathless laugh out and shook your head. “I wouldn’t ask that. I mean I feel like it’s my fault. I f-feel like I should be doing more.”
He leans back into his seat, seemingly processing your words. Your heart is ready to jump out of your chest.
You let out a sigh and you look around the space.
“You don’t know what it’s like to grow up without finacial stability and an easy way out. But this is eating me up at night. I feel responsible for my parents and I-I am disappointing them already. Even if they don’t know it yet.”
You don’t look towards him as you continue. Feeling your throat start to close up.
“I just wish you’d ..reconsider. Going to college isn’t a threat to you-to us. I already live here and I’m with you.” You explain calmly. “If you really do love me, you wouldn’t be so careless with my future. I’ve been doing everything you want me to.”
He remains silent so you decide to add to your confession.
“I-I know you don’t trust me yet and that I haven’t earned it all. But please, keeping me away from everything isn’t going to prove my trust.” Finally, you return your gaze to him and look him straight in the eye.
“You’re only making my anxiety worse.”
With a wide-eyed expression, you raised your eyebrows emphasizing your words and waited stiffly for his reply. The TV playing in the background on low volume completely drained out as you zeroed in on him.
He let out a scoff, turning his head to the side.
The little bit of confidence you had fizzled out.
“So, that’s what all this has been about.” He confirms. “You held out longer than I thought baby.”
“No, this wasn’t just about that. I do care what you think and I did enjoy cooking for you, especially your favorite food because I-I do pay attention. I just thought you’d appreciate it more if…..if.” You stumbled over your words towards the end growing frustrated at your pleas falling on deaf ears.
“Are you done?” He asked with clear impatience when he saw you didn’t continue your rambling.
The action made you halt and stop mid sentence. You weren’t sure why but the sight of his aloofness made you cower. He was making you feel so insignificant. As if everything you said was a lie. As if he were dealing with a child instead of another equal with feelings. It reminded you of how Eunji had made you feel at times and you despised it.
You despised it because of how much you cared what he thought and felt about you.
“It’s only been a couple of weeks baby.” He coaxed you with a much nicer tone when he noticed your upset reaction. “You didn’t really think you’d sway me so easily, did you?”
Maybe you did.
You slammed down your chopsticks on the table and pushed yourself out of your chair. Jungkook followed your movements as you came to stand in front of him before you kneeled down, your knees scraping against the floor.
“Jungkook please, please.” You were out of options and resorting to the most degrading one but you didn’t care. “You need to let me go back! M-My parents… I feel stuck in here! Please!”
Reaching out to tug on his hand, your fingers caught hold of his shirt and he looked slightly surprised by your actions. His eyes widened the slightest bit as he took in your frantic state and high pitched pleas.He didn’t protest when you held his right hand with both of yours.
“Please! I’ll do anything but don’t take this away. I can’t be locked in here all day! Please!”
You felt like cowering even more under his scrutinizing eyes. His expression soon morphing into one of irritation.
“Stand up baby.” He pulled his hand away from you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder to get you back on your feet. But you didn’t budge.
He snapped your name.
“Seriously, stand up.” He demanded more firmly. Looking completely annoyed now by your antics.
“What do you think you’ll gain from keeping me from going back to university ?! I have a life to return to! This won’t make things better!” You were trying everything now. Picking holes in what you thought were his plans and ideas. Trying to shatter whatever delusion had made him come to this drastic conclusion.
He let out a low curse. The chair squeaked under him as he pushed it away from the table and turned his body towards you. He dipped his head down and tugged on your loose ponytail, the action made you immediately close your mouth and shut your eyes at the stinging pain.
“You know what I think baby?” He whispered into your ear, his breath tickling your neck.
“I think you’ve become a manipulative little bitch.”
With that he stood up and left your kneeling figure on the floor. Your hands dropped on the chair he had been sitting. You his heavy footsteps down the hallway followed by the bedroom door shutting loudly. You ran a hand through your hair and held back tears at his insult. He had never expressed himself that way about you. It left an ugly wound on your heart and it triggered the undeniable people pleasing trait in you. A feeling you never wanted to feel again.
You’d thought you’d never feel worse than how you did when you found out about Eunji’s backstabbing nature but this was ultimately worse.
It felt so much worse.
Not him.
Not him too.
~~
It had been 2 months since then.
The rest of the days after that you had spent crying your eyes out til you physically felt you couldn’t anymore. You had held a grudge against him for his cruel words and he had taken notice. The weeks that had followed had been consistent of his various forms of apologies. He’d told you he hadn’t meant it and how sorry he was for using such a nasty insult towards you. Brought you back flowers everytime he’d return back from whatever errand he went to that day. Spent the night paying extra attention to you until you’d given in to his pleading large eyes that at times resembled that of a wounded boy’s.
His sweet whispers had convinced you to the point of even more intimate forms of affection, your body falling victim to his needy touches again . In a way you’d indulged in it as form of distraction yet again. Surprisingly yourself with the way you’d tightly grip the sheets, head buried into the mattress letting out encouraging whimpers at every harsh thrust. The nights had turned into the sweet escape you needed to make up for all the hours you’d spend alone. They had felt like a reward for making it through days with no complaints.
So you had given up for the time being and taken a different approach. You weren’t sure if you’d even call it that as it was more so your way of coping with the situation.
Was it? The days had started going by more quickly and at time you found yourself wondering what you were coping with exactly.
Your days were now mainly focused on new hobbies that were done in in the comfort of the apartment. You got into scrapbooking oddly enough. The idea had come to you once you rummaged through one of Jungkook’s drawers and found a kraft paper journal. Along with some stationary items you’d stolen from him, you had began to fill out the pages with different places you wanted to visit around the world. It had been something you remembered doing once when you were in middle school but you never got to finish due to running out pages on your tiny cheap notebook.
This time, you’d glued every magazine cut out, ribbon, glitter, different stickers and wrote out reasons to visit for each place. It had taken up your time along with the books you’d get Jungkook to bring you.
Comfort could help build a glorious cage.
You’d soon realized that the time here had simply brought back you’re already introverted nature and heightened it. It made way for you to indulge in all the more small things that you had always wanted but never had the luxury of having. Everything seemed much more appealing in a large space. You’d gotten to rearrange thing to your liking, growing more bold with the way you dealt with the kitchen or bathroom supplied as if they were your own. Integrating every one of your habits with Jungkook’s. Now you rarely thought twice before waking up and starting your routine. Your focus shifting to what you should bake that day, what you should read or write in your notebook, if you would scrapbook or finish a puzzle or simply lounge around and watch TV for the rest of the day.
The thoughts of your parents and responsibilities still lingered but in a more hidden spot of your brain, coming out in infrequent waves when your anxiety would also sneak it’s way through the edges.
Your anxiety.
It had been controlled every since Jungkook had come home with your refilled prescription last month. You had no idea when he had even found your empty bottle and took it upon himself to order the refill but you didn’t complain. It had eased you with its way it had you out cold nearly every night. No more heart palpitations or sweaty palms before drifting off to a fragile sleep. It didn’t rid you of it completely of course, you had your off days where it would trigger back.
The days had become more peaceful as well as Jungkook had started to spend more time at home too and taken less trips to the company. His absence was often the reason for those flare ups of anxiousness. He hadn’t had any outbursts since that dinner disaster and the one he’d had before become more of a distant dream floating further and further. That wasn’t to say he’d let his boundaries slip away. The mention of college was still a subject you hadn’t dared bring up again, neither was the one of your phone.
It was tedious to break the habit of reaching over the nightstand to pick up your phone or the sudden urge you still got to want to look at the time or check texts and emails. It had taken you the same effort to try and convince yourself you had no assignments due anymore and you didn’t need to set an alarm for anything. It had driven you nearly mad at the beginning, given your unpleasant breakdown but your mind had latched itself onto other stimulating activities to ease it.
You turned on the faucet and rinsed off your toothbrush before opening the medicine cabinet. Taking out your anxiety meds, your eyes linger on the pill bottle you’d always see. ‘Zyprexa 10 mg’.
You pick it up and unscrew the lid, counting the pills inside.
11.
They’re had been 11 pills ever since you’d first had found them in this cabinet. You didn’t know why you bothered to count them everyday. The number never changed. Jungkook was not taking them and had not been for a while. Despite the worry that piled inside you, you had not had the courage to confront him about it. Of course you didn’t know his reasoning or the details as to why he may not be taking it. You thought over the possibility of perhaps his doctor taking him off them but it was all just a part of the many excuses you’d made for him. You knew well why you wouldn’t mention them to him. The thought of an unpleasant reaction had chained you to an invisible wall.
“You’ve become a manipulative little bitch.”
The words would too often make their home inside mind, ruining your pleasant thoughts for the day.
You screwed the lid back on and tossed them back inside. After taking your meds, you walked back into the bedroom and saw Jungkook buttoning up his loose shirt. He tucked the ends inside his well-fitted pants, the work attire hugging his frame perfectly.
“I was thinking of making brownies today.” You tell him with a yawn, rubbing your eyes as you went over to him. “Or lemon bars, I haven’t decided.”
His nose scrunched up at the word ‘lemon’. It was so animated that it reminded you of a child.
“Definitely brownies, please.” You fought a grin before your eyes took in the scrapbook that was wide open on the bed.
“You’ve added a new place.” Jungkook comments, gesturing to the addition of ‘Zion’ and the breathtaking landscape pictures you had plastered all over the two large pages.
You felt a bit shy at how nosey he had been in knowing every detail of the book ever since you’d started it. It was endearing how he’d pay close attention to every page though and how he’d encouraged you to keep adding more. He had spent one day making you describe and explain why’d you chosen each place despite the small descriptions you’d already written on them. Most had been really superficial and non-interesting reasons, you just sounded like the typical tourist. He didn’t mind though, he had rested his head on your shoulder and listened while making sly comments.
That day he’d also promised you he’d take you to every one. You’d nearly laughed in his face but he had not broken a single smile. He had been dead serious. He claimed that at least but he seemed to know why you’d find that hard to believe given the circumstances he’d put you in.
“It won’t always be this way, baby.” He said with such certainty that you needed to believe him.“I’m only trying to teach you a lesson, show you what you haven’t yet realized.”
You didn’t really dwell on what he meant by that. It was obvious enough he’d done this to get back at you but what exactly had you not realized yet? You weren’t sure. In your perspective, his motives seem to be the same as they always did.
To keep you at his side.
“I think it’s really cool. I remember looking up pictures of it one time.”
“It looks amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever visited anywhere like that.” His gaze then returned to you as he motioned for you to get closer.
You held back a gasp when he grasped your waist and pulled you into his chest, your feet lifting off the floor for a second.
“I have a surprise for you.” He muffled into your neck, pressing his lips to your skin. “God I love this smell on you.”
It was his own perfume he had gifted you a while back and you almost called out the arrogant comment but you only let out a scoff instead.
“A surprise?” Your heart had skipped a beat but you scolded yourself to remain calm. To not get your hopes up for something too grandeur. Jungkook had made it clear you had not yet earned his full trust .The path was unclear but it was considerably still long.
And that meant you couldn’t have earned your phone back.
“Have you ever been here?” You turned when you felt the loss of contact on your neck and looked down to what he had pulled from behind him. He held two tickets in his hand, your eyed read over the famous name of the theme park.
“No.” Your eyed widened as you took the tickets in your hand. “The prices were always too out of my budget.”
The popular theme park was a known tourist attraction in this city. It was the largest in the country and you had been hoping you would get to visit it when you had first moved here for college but the money would never add up. Your funds would barely cover your food expenses at times and it left little room for much else.
It felt like you had a golden ticket in your hand, a full smile broke out on your face.
“Are we really going?” You face him, the tiniest bit of doubt seeping through your tone. The slightest bit of possibility of this being some kind of test or joke had slithered it’s way into you.
Jungkook looked almost offended by the question. His eyes boring into you as he let out a short laugh.
“Of course we are baby, that’s why I bought them.” He tells you, kissing your cheek. “You’ve been such a good girl lately, you deserve it.”
You were going out.
You would be outside again and at one of the most whimsical theme parks to exist.
“And if you keep it up,” He says into your ear, fingers tracing down the edge of your shoulder.“Things might start going back to the way they were.”
His implication was clear. If you stayed in his good graces, you’d eventually get your phone back and even your college transfer back. Your future back. The freedom back.
“Really?” Your eyes tried to search for the bluff. The teasing. Anything. But it didn’t surface. He nodded and smirked at your reaction, laying another kiss to your temple.
Had that been the lesson?
He had given these things so easily and he wanted to show you how easily he had been able to snatch it right back. If you had thought had been walking on eggshells with him before, that had been nothing compared to these past weeks, months.
That was the key to the lock wasn’t it? Had that been it all this time? If you had wanted to go back to the way things were, Jungkook had to see your mind and devotion shift completely towards him. Truly towards him. Not in the way you thought it looked like it would please him. He had made it happen gradually, organically even.
But the pressing question stood.
Did you want to go things to go back to how they were?
Yes. But not so much that it hurt you if they didn’t. Like you thought it would. Like it had hurt the first few weeks.
That in itself meant you were running out of time.
Because you shouldn’t want things to go back to the way they were.
You should want to completely get rid of Jungkook and his insanity. You should want to figure out a way to escape his blackmail and invisible cage. You should want to never turn back.
But it seemed to be too late.
Because all you had been thinking about these days were how much you studied his every move, how much you had memorized every blemish or insignificant mole on his back while you drifted off to sleep. How often he’d pout his lips unknowingly when you weren’t paying attention. How much you’d wish to smooth out the crease between his eyebrows just once and be able to look at him with as much love as he looked at you.
You’d analyzed his every move, afraid of what was next but in the process you questioned why you had also memorized his every habit. His favorite foods and snacks, how surprisingly tidy he was about his closet and clothes. How normal he seemed despite the dark secrets and intentions that boiled inside him.
Because the more you stayed in his home, the more you had started forgetting what your life was before it and why those starry brown eyes seemed far more enticing than the filthy walls of a motel or the familiar humble structure of your parent’s home.
—
From the moment you entered the park, you felt your spirits go up. You didn’t know if was purely the fact that you were finally getting fresh air or that you were actually looking forward to seeing everything inside. It was jaw dropping from the get-go. You were sure your fascination came from never really attending these types of attractions as a child or teenager but this one experience seemed to make up for all of it.
During the drive here you had mentioned to Jungkook that you wanted to take pictures of everything. It was a subtle hint towards your phone but in reality you weren’t expecting him to give in to you even for that use of it. You were right of course, he brushed it off saying you could use his instead.
You gave Jungkook’s hand a squeeze when you spotted the growing crowds as you neared the some of the restaurants and rides but he gave you an assuring smile.
“You’re fine.” He tugged you into his side, the breeze felt nice on your skin.
You repeated his words in your head as you focused your attention more towards all the tall rides and characters that wandered around the area dressed from well-known fables. A small giggle leaving your lips at some of the costumes they wore. They looked ridiculously cute.
The next hour consisted of you practically dragging him around and pointing to all the types of junk food that you wanted to try. The first victim was the Fairy themed milkshakes located in the Medieval village zone. They were a baby pink and blue infusion with edible glitter sprinkled on the top of the whipped cream.
“They look so good.” You mumbled to Jungkook as you two waited for your order in front of the small stand that was shaped like a tree bark. The decorations were impressive, the led lights layered around the plastic leaves flickered but it was hard to notice them in broad daylight.
“It looks like it tastes like a bag of sour candy.” He mused, playing with the ends of your hair.
“That would taste good.”
He smiled fondly at that, laying a soft kiss on your forehead before he heard the order being called out. His delicate touch were the ones that always sent the most shivers through your body.
He brought back the obnoxious drink and you wasted no time in taking a sip. The flavor was not as strong as you thought, it tasted almost like marshmallow but with a fruity aftertaste.
“Mmm.” You exclaimed sipping more. “Try it.”
He threw out his gum that he had been chewing and took a reluctant sip of it. You watched as he smacked his lips together, making a distasteful face.
“Oh baby,” He handed you back the shake with a shake of his head. “That’s fucking awful.”
What? It had not been that bad even if it wasn’t to someone’s liking. You wanted to roll your eyes at his dramatics.
“No it’s not!” You gaped at him, taking another sip. It tasted perfect to you. “It’s probably because of your gum.”
“Sure.” He said unconvincingly before guiding you both back towards the next destination on the theme park map.
The next victims included a corn dog, some type of corn soup and an abnormal sized cookie. All delicious to you but it had not been such a good idea to eat them all at once and then begin to go on the rides. Time was passing a lot quicker than you hoped and every stop you’d make to take a picture seemed to take longer with crowds of people waiting behind you to take the exact same one. In the exactly same pose.
The sun was setting and your legs had been started to burn now but you tried your best to ignore them. Thankfully, your anxiousness had not surfaced too much today. You thought over how it would’ve been a very different story if you hadn’t been able to take your meds again. It would’ve likely made it impossible for you to make it five minutes in here , let alone half the day.
Your eyes observed as Jungkook took a picture of one of the brightly lit canoe rides under a bridge with a boyish grin on his face despite the contrasting appearance of his dark attire and inked sleeves.
If only the people around you knew how quickly he could turn it off and on. Not even the almost grudge type style could truly ever match how cynical he could be if he chose to. It was anything but a font.
Yet you almost felt required to conceal that part of him from others. A feeling of protectiveness over how they’d perceive him or judge him.
It was silly considering the average pedestrian had more to fear of him than him of them but of course feelings never took the logical route.
“Did you come here a lot growing up?” You asked him as he snapped a last photo and handed over his phone to you. You had been the one carrying it around mostly due to him growing tired of you asking for it every second you saw something that peaked your interest.
“Twice. I loved the fast rides mostly.” He replied and you remembered how he had not stopped insisting you both get on the giant anchor ride. The sight of the swinging ship was a little off-putting to say the least but you weren’t completely against the idea. You had already been on a couple of the smaller rides in the park, like the spinning seashell ride that had you almost tasting the donut you’d ate before getting on.
You stared down at his phone screen, his home screen lit up and unsurprisingly his background was now a picture of you two standing at the very entrance of the theme park with the jumbo size sign behind you.
It was weird to look at because of how natural you both looked in it. His hand wrapped around your shoulder, a grin on his face and you had placed a hand on his chest.You tried to find an indication that this looked like anything other than a normal and even corny couple picture but you didn’t find one.
Could it be that you failed to find one because that’s what it felt like when it was taken? And it was it still felt like right now.
“With your whole family?”
“Mhm.” He nodded nonchalantly as you both walked past down the sidewalk that had all the restaurants and bakery shops.“ It was mostly my mom and I though, my dad used to complain pretty early on and just let us wander the park while he sat and waited on the benches.”
“Oh.” You mumble, frowning a bit.“Did that annoy you?”
He glanced at you, seeming to think back on it.
“Not really. I don’t think I cared that much back then or noticed.” Despite the dismissive words, you couldn’t help but detect a bit of snark in his tone.
“Still, he’s your dad.” You remind him as he held the shop door open for you and you gave him a small smile before stepping inside. His hand on your back despite you guiding which direction to walk over to first.
“He is.” You hear him reply behind you.“Why the sudden curiousity about my dad baby? Do you need my entire family therapy notes?”
You grew nervous at his inquisitive tone. You had not meant to pry into his father in particular, that’s just where the conversation had fallen naturally. For the first time your intentions didn’t have much of an ulterior motive in hopes of catching him in a lie or uncovering another skeleton in his closet. It was becoming a habit to just ask him about much of anything in a way you’d ask a friend.
“I was just wondering, my parents could never take me to these kinds of things.”
You felt him look at you from the corner of your eye when you went to stand beside him to look over a pile of baseball caps and beanies on a display shelf.
“Truth is there isn’t much to say about him, good or bad. I saw him as more of a burden to me at one point more than anything.” He mutters as he lifts up a headband with mouse ears on each end and tried to put it on you before you swat his hand away.
You don’t know what to say to his passing comment. There was an urge to ask him a follow-up question to it but you decide against it.
“Look at these.” You pointed in awe at the sight of vintage themed keychains instead. The souvenir shop you were in had an European architectural style. You went to pick up a pair of tiny tea cups that had a floral pattern wrapped around the porcelain glass. “It’s all so pretty.”
The previous scenic gardens zone you had just been at had probably been your favorite place out of the whole park.Jungkook’s camera roll now full with photos of all the different colored tulips that surrounded the trail. It was one of the most popular attractions for good reason. Jungkook had followed you like a lost child when you kept speed walking towards the countless sets of floral faces.
“Pschyology,” Jungkook says as he picks up the same tea cups in your hand, inspecting them. “What made you pick it as a major?”
You give him a questioning look at the drastic subject change, tensing up a bit at thought of discussing college again considering how downhill it had gone last time you had brought it up.
“Um.” You swallow. “I’m not so sure, I felt drawn to it and it seemed like a subject I could do well in. I don’t know if that’s still true though.”
It turns out knowing your psyche and patterns so well doesn’t always save you. You felt more disconnected with it by the day.
“Is that still what you want to do?” He puts down the teacups, his fingers brushing over a set of tiny wine glasses.
“Yes. I think so.” You try not to sound too eager. It felt like such a fragile gift he could easily shatter between his fingers.
He nods.
“You don’t have to feel like you need to do it just to please your parents baby. If you have other interests , I could always open up a way for you to do them.” You aren’t sure how true that is considering he had already snatched your future away so easily until he saw fit to give it back. Who was to say he wouldn’t do the same to anything else you wanted to do? But he sounded so genuine that you wanted to believe him.
You stay silent.
“Why did you decide to study so far away from home?” His eyes study your face.
The question catches you off guard. You brought your gaze down to the items in your hands. If you lied, he would know. You were sure of it. But if you told the truth, you feared the reaction would be not much different.
He seems to understand the meaning behind your silence. A look of realization crossing his face before his gaze hardened.
“Oh.” He says dryly. “Of course.”
You felt embarrassed by it all over again. You’d already tortured yourself enough for your dumb decision when it had come to Eunji.
“At least I have one thing to thank her for then.” He grasps your chin, a small smile playing on his lips before he gives you a firm kiss. His hand wraps around your neck as he pushes you further into him.
You feel yourself melting away, your lips parting slightly allowing his tongue to slip inside. Despite the intensity, the kiss feels playful with the feeling of his other hand pinching your sides and making you yelp.
“J-Jungkook!” You hiss in a low whisper, pulling away. You glance around to make sure nobody is watching you. It always seemed mortifying to you for strangers to witness those intimate displays.
He laughed in response, walking past you to seemingly go look at something else. You felt a little breathless and your face was for sure looking flushed.
A vibration in your hand made you look down.
Jungkook’s phone had received a notification. You snuck a glance at him to make sure he wasn’t looking your direction before unlocking it. If he had a passcode, he had removed it for today so you could easily navigate his photo gallery.
You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about going through it but it had been impossible to with Jungkook glued to your side the entire time. Even on your bathroom breaks, he had not been careless enough to let you go in with it. Silently reaching out his hand to remove it from your grip before you’d slip inside.
However, the notification was not what you were expecting. It was a reminder for his mother’s birthday. Tomorrow.
He’d set a reminder? You fought a smile at that. It seemed thoughtful given how he expressed their less than ideal relationship nowadays.
You tapped on his calendar, mindlessly scrolling down and you didn’t even pretend to be shocked your birthday was on there as well but your eyes caught another date that caught your attention more. It was titled ‘FS’.
11-11-20
You frowned at it.
FS.
Staring at the date, you tried to figure out why it would be significant to him. It clearly wasn’t some type of appointment or meeting considering the difference in the way he had wrote those down. Had it been an anniversary? You thought back to when you had met him.He would be the type to write that day as your anniversary date. But this was a year too early. You hadn’t met him at the cafe until much later.
Your fingers froze the second you pieced it together.
FS.
First sighting.
“Baby?” Nearly dropping the phone at the sound of him behind you, you quickly exited the calendar app and turned to him just in time he closed in on you.
“You got a reminder for your mom’s birthday.” You tell gently and hand him over the phone, a crease forming in your eyebrow. “It’s tomorrow?”
He takes it and types something out.
“Yeah, she kept asking me if we would come to her birthday dinner tomorrow.” He tells you and you can’t detect any specific emotion from his tone.
“My dad isn’t going to make it to it again.” He looks like he’s about to roll his eyes.
His mother wanted you to come too?
“We should go.” You offer, looking back towards his phone. “I-I mean if you want to? She probably feels lonely.”
He looks up to meet your gaze.
“You want to go?”
Would he find that weird? You didn’t think so. He didn’t seem to mind last time she had come unexpectedly to the apartment.
“She was really nice to me.” You say recalling the memory that seemed far away now.
The corner of his mouth lifts up. Like it did whenever he found something you did cute or amusing.
“Sucking up to your mother in law already, baby?” He teased and pulled you in. It wasn’t that. Was it? You suppose you didn’t mind bonding with her a bit more. The idea didn’t sound terrible. The image of her or anyone sitting alone having dinner on their birthday made your heart shatter.
Would Jungkook have really let her spend her birthday completely alone?
“Let’s go, we still have one more ride to go on.” He tells you and your face drops.
“No, please.” You complain as he tugged you forward but then looked back at the tiny pair of teacups you had put back down.
“Heights aren’t really my thing, I’m gonna throw up all I ate.”
“Don’t be such a baby.” He gives you a cynical grin, picking up the teacup set. “Let’s pay for this first though.”
“I don’t need that.” You protest going to grab it from him but he pulls it up higher so you are unable to reach it.
“You didn’t put it down the entire time we were in here.”
You groan as he practically drags you towards the register.
—-
The restaurant was dimly lit. It was a bit far out of into the city, located in a more calm and pleasant atmosphere that was popular for its scenic views. You felt out of place the moment you stepped in. Evidently you didn’t look out of place though. Your appearance was funded by your boyfriend, your mid-length black dress probably cost more than your entire tuition. You would’ve confirmed it if Jungkook hadn’t ripped of the tag before gifting it to you a few days ago. You stared down at the Christian Louboutin red bottoms on your feet, you’d half expected them to sense your tax bracket and make you fall head first the second you put them on.
You switched the gift bag you were carrying to your less dominant hand when you went to greet Jungkook’s mother with a swift side hug. She looked lovely, you caught a quick whiff of her perfume before you pulled away. The scent was slightly familiar. She seemed ecstatic at your arrival, well you assumed her joy was mainly aimed towards her son but you didn’t mind being on the receiving end of it too. It felt like ages since you had interacted with anyone besides Jungkook.
Not that you necessarily minded it, you weren’t exactly equipped at social interactions with strangers as proven before. But in a way his mother didn’t feel like too much of a stranger like last time you saw her. There was an air of warmth that surrounded her that at times mirrored Jungkook’s.
“Happy birthday.” You say to her , digging your nails into your palm in an effort to calm your nerves. The undeniable awkwardness you carried was hard to mask.
“I’m so glad you could make it.” She said. Her hair was styled into a slick bun just like yours and you smiled at the coincidence. She looked more elegant this time around, her heavier makeup enhanced her most prominent features.
“Thank you for inviting me.”
Jungkook had been walking a few steps behind you and you saw his mother’s face lit up instantly when she spotted him over your shoulder . You turned your neck, watching a tense smile spread his lips as he hesitated to hug her. It was the most uncomfortable you had never seen him. As a matter of fact, it was probably the only time you had ever seen him like that.
He gave in at last, giving her a brief hug that seemed to surprise even her. Her eyes widened a bit at his short-lived contact and you wondered how long it has been since Jungkook had properly hugged his mother. Months? Years?
It seems like you weren’t the only one out of place.
You took a seat, placing his mother’s gift beside you on the floor. Your nerves kicked in at the sight of the crowded space and far too prestigious set of silverware in front of you. Jungkoook soon followed beside you, a much more relaxed look on his face now that he put some distance with his mother. The smell of his cologne hit you and it did wonders to calm your overactive senses.
It was funny to think his scent once did the exact opposite.
“You must be sad your husband couldn’t make it, I’m sorry I wish I could’ve met him too.” You commented in an attempt to break any of the awkward silence that could follow after that greeting.
It was a small fib , you weren’t sure you wanted to meet Jungkook’s father at all with the way both him and his mother had spoken about him. He seemed rather cold by their descriptions but then again, if his mother was anything like Jungkook, you weren’t sure she was the most reliable narrator.
You pushed the awfully rude thought away, not knowing where it came from. His mother had not been unkind to you and she didn’t seem to carry any of Jungkook’s negative traits at all.
“Ah, don’t be. My husband rarely attends birthday dinners. His business trips are something I’ve grown used to.” She responds as she looks down at the menu but sneaks a quick glance at you.
“You look even prettier than I remembered by the way, my son sure knows how to pick them.”
Your cheeks warm at her compliment.
“It hasn’t been that long since you saw me.” You hold back a laugh. It was probably the help of the makeup you had piled on to cover all the blemishes on your skin that had you appearing more vibrant.
“I’m getting old now. A few weeks feel like a decade.” She sighs and you can’t help but let out a laugh this time. Jungkook is silent , looking engrossed in the menu.
“You’re not old at all. You look great.” You reassured her and decide to finally start paying attention to the menu as well. However, seeing the prices made you nearly cringe.
You sneaked a glance back at his mother and then towards Jungkook. You chewed on your bottom lip as an unpleasant thought occured to you. It didn’t seem like his mother suspected you weren’t from the same background as Jungkook but what if she did? If she knew you couldn’t afford any of this, not even what you were wearing from head to toe, would she assume something different from you?
Thinking back to your previous interaction with her at his apartment, his mother didn’t really seem like the type. She had not questioned your family or background at all. She only seemed interested in you and what you meant for her son. You buried the thought away despite the feeling of embarrassment at the idea of her somehow knowing he had basically began to financially support your entire life. Among other things.
“I’ll just get whatever you get.” You muttered to Jungkook, eyeing his menu.
He frowns.
“Are you sure? You should get whatever you feel like eating baby.” His words comfort you but just by glancing at the options, you realize you don’t even know what half of it means. They don’t provide much descriptions either.
Jungkook observed you and you tried to ignore the way you could feel him already grasping your issue. Him knowing you that well shouldn’t make your stomach flip the way it did.
“That one,” He gestured to the oddly named item on the left corner. “It’s a pasta. Tagliatelle with truffle sauce. It’s really good, fits your taste I think.”
“You got that from me liking the spaghetti you made the other night?”
He gives you a teasing grin and nods. “Think of it as white spaghetti.”
Swallowing you put the menu down and tap your finger against it.
“I hope your mom likes the gift.” You really had no idea what to get her so naturally you relied completely on Jungkook to choose. It was a high end handbag he had picked out, assuring you that it would be to her liking. Maybe some flowers would’ve seemed more genuine on your part but you had forgotten to ask Jungkook to stop by for them on your way here.
“She will, don’t worry.” He pecked your lips before you could scold him. The PDA would never feel comfortable to you no matter how used you were to his touch by now. Much less with his mother as the main audience this time.
“My son has always been really affectionate. Straight out the womb, he was such a cuddly child.” His mother watched you fondly, her hands now clasped in front of her. “You two seem to match so well .”
“Yes, you mentioned he was clingy.” You blurt out before you realized what you said. It sounded a bit rude.
“I mean, as a child.” You clarify and watch Jungkook raised both his eyebrows as he took a sip of his water. He seemed unbothered by the comment thankfully.
“Yes, he was.” His mother chuckled at you.
At least they have a sense of humor. Must run in the family.
“What I mean is, I’m glad that side of him is back. I hadn’t seen it in a long time.” She explains with a more glum tone.
“And who’s fault is that?” You hear Jungkook remark.
His mother’s expression visibly falls. Her smile remained but she lowered her gaze, avoiding his eyes.
“Jungkook.” You whisper to him with an imploring look.
Instantly you feel a sense of not only embarrassment for her but deep empathy. She seemed so happy just moments ago. It was her birthday and that made it all much worse. While you knew Jungkook was far from fully reconciling with his mother, you had assumed he was on the right path at least. His mother himself had hinted at it. You had expected him to not make snide remarks at the very least.
Thankfully the waiter comes to take the orders before any of you can utter another word. You bite your nails nervously and look towards Jungkook for help in pronouncing the pasta meal. He struggles with it too but plays it off better than you would’ve. The pinch between his eyebrows was amusing and he gives your shoulder a squeeze when he notices your inability to keep a straight face.
Once the waiter leaves, you don’t know what to say to make things better. You don’t know his mother well enough to offer any sort of distraction but you wanted to lighten the mood at all costs. You never did well this sort of pressuring atmosphere, you feared you’d start to feel claustrophobic soon if something didn’t distract you too.
“Lots of children tend to be clingy I think.” You look between her and Jungkook. He gives you a thoughtful look, resting his head on the palm of his hand “But it usually fades out one way or another.”
It was a weak attempt.
“Yes, I guess that’s true.” His mother replied softly seeming to appreciate it nonetheless.
“Did you always want to be a lawyer?” Changing the subject might be for the best.
She goes on go explain that she didn’t at first and thought she’d end up becoming an interior designer due to her fascination with art when she was younger. But she ultimately decided to go to law school because her parents thought she’d strive there and have a more successful career overall. They had been right of course, she had been a top student. She claims it was hard and one of the worst experiences in her life was attending those first days of law school along with the bar exam despite her success.
You listen to her intently, nodding along to her ramblings that at moments remind you of your own. Her mannerisms continue to remind you of her son though, the resemblance still as uncanny as ever.
The food eventually arrives and that’s when you look over at Jungkook. He doesn’t seem particularly interested in what his mother is saying and you assume it’s because he must’ve already heard it countless of times before.
“What about you? I heard you’re a psychology student.” His mother questions, cutting into her steak.
You pause, your eyes slowly trailing towards Jungkook who has sharpened his gaze. But his glare is directed at his mother first before it lands on you.
A warning sits behind his eyes.
“Y-Yeah. I’m just sorta taking a short break right now.”
Take the shake out of your voice. You wanted to smack yourself for having such thin skin and the complete opposite of a poker face.
“Really? Oh that’s good. I hope you find a nice career in psychology. You seem like a very smart girl.” You smile at her words.
I thought I was until I met your son. The words sat on the tip of your tongue.
“She is.” Jungkook confirms with a nod, stabbing the fork harshly into the piece of meat on his place. He raised an eyebrow at his mother. “She doesn’t need a career to prove that.”
His mother smiles, oblivious to what those words really mean for you. She swallowed her bite and looks between the two of you.
“She doesn’t but I’m sure that’s what she wants if she’s in college.”
“Mm” Jungkook muses, holding up the piece of steak on his fork as if to inspect it. “Sure, she can get a degree but I expect to take care of my wife so there’s not a need for her to stress over it.”
Wife.
A cough leaves you upon hearing that. You tried to chew down the pasta you were sure had just gotten stuck in your throat. Blinking away the tears forming, you reach over to take a sip of water.
“Oh?” His mother eyes your actions, a bit perplexed. “I suspected you two were already serious but I didn’t know marriage was already on the table. I’m glad.”
You clear your throat and wipe away your watery eyes.
“I-I,”You gape at Jungkook but he ignores you , still looking towards his mother. “Sorry I wasn’t expecting him to say that either.”
“Eventually we will. Maybe sooner rather than later.” He shrugs, bringing the fork to his mouth and chewing down the steak. “ That’s the goal isn’t it? What’s so shocking about it?”
Staring down at your plate, you swore you feel the room spin for a split second.
“No! It’s not shocking at all. I always knew you’d want to marry once you found the right person.” His mother beams, sounding much more pleased by the idea the more she talked. All her previous bewilderment gone.
“I think I’d need to mention that to my parents first.” You express and send Jungkook a puzzled look.
Your parents.
The thought of them receiving the news of you in such a serious relationship that talks of marriage were already in the air made you squirm. You had barely even admitted to having crushes back when you lived with them, let alone someone close to a fiancé. A stupidly foolish part of you at one point had fantasied about that person you’d bring home to them would be Eunji.
Eunji.
You blocked her image out entirely, aggressively burying it away.
“I think it’s time for you to let me meet them then.” He throws back in a sickeningly sweet stone that silenced you with ease.
The last thing you wanted was Jungkook within any close distance of your parents. Not with everything he had against you. He might be the only man who’s ever had your heart ache terribly like this but he was could also become the man from your worst nightmares at one wrong move . To have him face to face with the people he’d swore he’d show your darkest secrets to if you didn’t comply was something you weren’t sure you could handle yet. The very thought of it made a wave of nausea hit you. It would be such a vulnerable position.
Even though it felt like years rather than months since that video had been taped, you knew that in itself meant you had distanced yourself from it so much that a part of you felt like it never existed. That Jungkook had never done that.
That your entire relationship with him wasn’t built on lies and deceit.
The reality was too hard to face because your heart was insisting you’d give in entirely to it’s desires.
Your true desires.
And you felt like you already had.
“You haven’t met her parents?” His mother gathers your attention again. Her question lingered in the air for a few seconds before you took it in.
“Uh, no. Not yet. They don’t live close by.” You hope the excuse sounds convincing enough with your overly wide smile.
“Ah.” She nods understandably. “I hope they can meet him soon. I’d also like to meet the parents of such a lovely girl.”
“Yes, hopefully.” Twirling your fork around your plate you realize you’re not that hungry anymore.
“I didn’t see my parents much when I was in law school either and after I met my husband-”
“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”Jungkook announced and his mother paused mid sentence, giving him a small nod. You felt him lay a kiss on your cheek before he stood from his seat.
You watched as he walked away and disappeared into a corner.
“He gets bored easily at times.” His mother said sheepishly following your gaze.
For a second you’re tempted to ask her more about Jungkook now that the topic of conversation had shifted back to him momentarily. However, it seemed rude to try and pry about more than what you had already asked her when you had first met her. She seemed to have already over shared everything about him to you and you didn’t know if there was much else to ask. Not anything significant at least. Still you were greedy for every of untold story about him, for any of those insignificant details. Surprisingly your nosiness didn’t come from a place of pure fear this time. Your unease was accompanied with genuine concern and curiosity.
But you decided against it.It was her birthday after all. You shouldn’t risk tip toeing over a topic that could send her back to an unpleasant time period.
“I apologize for bringing you to such a crowded restaurant.” His mother says as she looks around.
The heavy murmurs and piano playing in the background fading as you focused on her.
“I know it’s not the best place for anxiety prone people. I used to hate it here too before I got used to it and fell in love with the food.” She adds with a soft laugh.
“Oh no it’s fine, really. I’ve been able to manage my anxiety a little better these days. It’s beautiful here.” You assure her and take a bite out of your food, not wanting it go to waste.
“That’s good to hear. Therapy?”
“N-No, I haven’t gone to therapy in a while. It did help me a lot though. I’m sure you know. Jungkook mentioned you also used to attend therapy regularly.” You bring your hand to your cover your mouth as you finish the bite.
You made a point to leave out the unnerving details of that story, not wanting to reveal how her son was first made aware of you. It was in fact a weird circumstance regardless if she was aware of his tendencies.
Her bright expression faltered. She stared at you for a long moment and blinked.
“Yeah.” She said after seconds of silence."Yeah, they for sure do help.”
She tilted her head to the side and focused back on her food. You notice the tiniest scrunch of her eyebrows before she sets her lips into a straight line.
That was strange.
You watch her carefully, your eyebrows furrowing as you try to decipher her reaction.
Jungkook returns a few minutes later and you plaster a smile on your face, attempting to push away the growing suspicion that settled in the pit of your stomach. The rest of the dinner goes smoothly, not anything of substance is said and Jungkook is mostly quiet. It was odd in a way to see him so closed off when it was usually you that was the silent one around people. You suppose it was due his mother’s presence being not nearly as intimidating as most people’s. Ironic considering her choice of career.
“We got you a gift.” You state the obvious once all of you had cleared your plates and a small round cake sat at the center of the table.
It had a dark chocolate spatula ribbon design on the bordes with a golden specked butterfly as the cake topper. The long wax candles placed in the middle already blown out. Your eyes had unconsciously been locked on the certain golden speckled figurine for reasons you could not begin to explain. It made you too aware of what his mother had said about the necklace.
“Jungkook picked it out so please blame him if you hate it.” You lightly joked.
“You really didn’t have to but thank you so much.” She took the gift bag from your hand, giving you a soft rub on the back when you leaned over to give her another quick hug.
You settled back into your seat and watched anxiously as she opened up the bag, shuffling through the tissue paper.
She took out the teal colored handbag and you clasped your hands together, tucking them into your chest. At first, the look in her face was unreadable as she further studied the purse. She looked in deep thought for a mere second before a smile broke out, her eyes widening.
“I-this is beautiful.” She expressed and looked over at Jungkook, you turned to glance at him and noticed him watching her. Intently.
“I used to have one just like this.” You raise an eyebrow. Had Jungkook gifted her a purse she already owned? You wanted to call him out but his his mother continued.
“I lost it a long time ago. Thank you.” She told you before her gaze met her son’s again briefly. “I didn’t think you’d still remembered the exact purse.”
Looking down at the hand-bag, your eyes scanned her face before they traveled over to Jungkook’s piercing gaze. It was unflinching. He had avoided eye contact with his mother for most of the dinner but he now he seemed to be unable to look away. You couldn’t describe the way he was looking at her. His jaw was clenched but his eyes held something more.
And you swore you saw the corners of his mouth twitch so quickly that you convinced yourself it was your mind making you see things.
That same suspicion from earlier settled back into your stomach.
—-
It was stuck.
You pulled harder, letting out a huff as the bed frame legs loudly scraped against the floor tiles. Finally it moved and you slipped your head in between the small gap between it and the wall. Your hand felt for the piece of paper until you gripped the edges of it and carefully tried to scratch off the tape to not rip it apart.
Once you had it, you pushed the headboard back in place. Making sure it didn’t look slanted or out of place. Your eyes read over what you had written.
11-11-20
You were sure you would remember it without the need to write it down but you really didn’t want to put all your faith on the short term memory you possessed at the most important times. It had been the right decision because the numbers had already begun to fade when you got home that day from the theme park. The hiding spot seemed extreme but you really knew better than to risk anything less cautious. Even more so with something that could very well be insignificant.
Jungkook didn’t tolerate secrets.
You knew that well now. Even if it was a one way street. It always would with him and you were starting to understand that, accept it even. But you didn’t know why your gut was telling you to not forget these numbers. This date. The first time Jungkook saw you in that waiting room.
But this date could be more significant in other ways.
It was a long shot. A really long shot.
And you didn’t even know why you were attempting it. You almost felt disappointment in yourself for even going behind his back again. Had you not learned your lesson? But this was innocent, wasn’t it? You were only trying to access the internet to check your bank account and emails from job offers you had applied to.
But the lie settled uncomfortably in you.
You could’ve simply asked Jungkook for his permission to use his monitor or MacBook. You were positive he wouldn’t refuse.
As long as he hovered over your shoulder while you did and you wouldn’t be able to snoop like you really wanted to.
Your thoughts threw back the harsh truth. Jungkook’s computer was the only thing you hadn’t managed to snoop through in this entire apartment. Which meant that was the closet where all his skeletons must’ve resided in. Most at least. What you were looking for exactly you didn’t know. The more you circled around the reasoning you came to conclusion that it was more so you were seeking to make sure he hadn’t done something.
Something you were terrified he’d gone through with since the second he’d made the disturbing threat.
Walking down the long corridor, you felt your heartbeat in your ears with every step. You halted in front of his office door and let your fingers close over the doorknob to pull the door open. The office didn’t look any different from how you had last seen it. You hadn’t stepped foot back inside since your last failed attempt at unlocking his computer. There was a great chance this would be your second and last failed attempt.
Stepping inside, you let the heel of your foot shut the door behind you. As you neared his desk, your eyes fell on a couple of folders and papers laid out. You pushed his chair away from his desk and took a seat on it. A familiar paranoid thought popped into your head and you whipped your head around to check every ceiling corner of the room.
Why were you doing this? You shouldn’t be doing this.
Your hands felt sweaty clasping the mouse, the movement lighting up the screen. You gulped as you typed in the numbers from the wrinkled paper in your hand. The little loading icon that followed made your stomach churn.
You held in a gasp when the screen suddenly displayed a word document and multiple other tabs popped up.
You were in.
An unknown sensation went over you as you tried not to sit on the fact that he’d really had made that his passcode. It made your heartbeat faster than it already was.
Somehow it made you feel more guilty for doing this. You fought the urge to get up and sprint out, forgetting you had even thought of this but you stayed glued to the seat.
It took you a second to process before you read over what he had been doing before he logged off. But it was just a bunch of work documents he’d been typing out. They had his father’s company’s name on them. He had so many files too, you weren’t sure you’d be able to go through them all. You glanced over at the time on the corner of the screen, you still had plenty of time before he was supposed to be back from his errand. He had gone to drop off his car to get it detailed.
Despite that , you kept wanting to look over your shoulder at any sudden sound. You were stiff as a board as you clicked off his word document and clicked on an unnamed file. You scrolled and scrolled, your eyes trying to find something that stood out but nothing did. They all seemed work related, some even dating back to what seemed to be his college days. You moved over to his emails, squinting to read over the ones with long paragraphs. It was simply him giving detail responses to a colleague it seemed and instructions on another one. All similar subjects to his documents. Scrolling down further, you eventually came across dates that were too far back but you paused as you saw a female name on one.
A wiser woman would’ve not clicked it but your curiosity was one of your many flaws. Your eyes narrowed at the flirty message. It had also been work related and it was dated far back about more than a year ago. It had to be a female colleague of his and the flirtatious nature of her message had seemingly been one sided due to Jungkook’s dry response. You felt satisfied reading his lack of enthusiasm towards her, it had made you unclench your tight grip on your mouse.
Why had that made you jealous?
You let out an impatient sigh as you clicked off his emails.
What were you even thinking? He didn’t do anything.
He had been bluffing. Hoseok was fine. His family was fine. It had only been a warning and nothing more.
But that gut feeling wouldn’t go away, that awful doubt rearing it’s ugly bead.
How could you be sure? You bit your nail nervously as you stared at the screen. You shakily opened the browser and went to Instagram. Logging into your account, you quickly typed in his name and easily found his profile. You weren’t sure if he had ever followed you, you hadn’t opened your instagram in a while even back when you had your phone and you couldn’t remember if you had received a notification from him. It did surprise you that he had not blocked you entirely though.
You looked through his page. It was filled with the typical selfies and artistic photos but that wasn’t what you were looking for. Your eyes landed on his profile icon, the pink and orange lining around it. Holding your breath you clicked on his story . The first slide was a picture of a sunset he had taken somewhere. He was sitting down with a paper cup in his hand.
The next slide made your heart sink.
It was a black screen with two prayer emojis on the center and your eyes quickly read over the caption underneath it.
‘update: my sister’s condition is now more stable but please continue to keep her in your thoughts & prayers. thank you for all your support, our family needs it right now.’
You let out a gasp, your face twisting in complete shock at what you were reading. This couldn’t be real. You looked over at how long ago he had posted it.
9 hours ago.
You didn’t move.
How long had his sister been in the hospital? What type of accident had she been in?
A tear slipped down your cheek as you thought about Jungkook’s words that day. What he had promised. Had he really done it? No.
No it couldn’t be right? Your breaths became more shallow as you tried to keep your emotions in check.
But why? Why would he do this after you begged him not to? To an innocent person? How could he have done this.
Had it really been him? You thought over the possibility of it being a pure coincidence. A tragic one but one that didn’t involve Jungkook at all. But even you weren’t that foolish to believe in his non-existent nobility.
He had done it. He had gone through with it.
A shuddering breath left you.
Indescribable terror shook you. Any sort of benefit of the doubt you had given Jungkook was now gone. Vanished completely. Your chains didn’t feel so invisible now with the knowledge that Jungkook had kept every promise.
“If you think I’m such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. ”
Had he meant for you to find out?
Had he meant to hide it from you?
You really hated how you weren’t sure.
A door slammed shut.
You nearly fell off the chair by how much your body jolted.
Jungkook was back early.
—-
#yandere!jungkook x reader#yandere!jungkook#jungkook yandere#jungkook au#jungkook x reader#yandere bts#yandere!bts#jungkook x oc#jungkook x y/n#bts angst#jungkook imagine#jungkook angst#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic
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WARM NIGHTS & CLEAR LINES — JJK (m.)
there haven't been a lot of people who have come into your life that became important to you – and you didn’t expect jeon jungkook to be one if it – not at all. but what started as a casual relationship turned into more than that, and now you find yourself deeply in love with him – and happily so.
or; your first "i love you" comes out completely wrong.
PAIRING cnbl!jungkook x cnbl!female reader
GENRE r18+ (SMUT, fluff) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
WORD COUNT 11k of pure fluffy and smutty nonsense 😍 literally 90% of this is smut
WARNINGS/MISC fluff galore, cnbl jk is the father of all simps all men need to be like him fr, angst if u squint but like not really 😭, oc's tendencies to be avoidant of her feelings show up lol i still love u saur, best boy cnbl jk ):, he will disintegrate if he cant call her by a petname [ explicit sexual content: unprotected s*x (its just a fanfic its not that serious), panty sniffing (like very quick), dirty talking lol, c*nnilingus, they hold hands during it <3, VERY SLIGHT foot action but like its very fleeting lol u dont need to worry about it lmfao, multiple s*x positions, cowgirl position cos her eyes are pretty trope, good ole cre*mpies ], L b*mb drop and an ily kink develops. literally every paragraph theres an ily crying. anyways i think thats all feel free to inform me if i left out any
NOTES i have like 11 asks on my inbox asking about how cnbl couple is and what their label is are they official now etc etc and they've sitting there since bush administration </3 after two years of drought we are finally so back. i purposefully didnt answer any of th asks since i want to make a drabble for when they finally make things official so this is it awrkive nation🩷 this can be read as a standalone?? but like pls read cnbl first lol (also i thought i ate this title when i thought about it but now i realize it kinda sounds ass but its 2am so give me some slack. also this is unedited skjfdjkfhdk AND this will also be my last post before i go mia for the next few weeks due to big life happenings. leave ur thoughts in my inbox or reply section to get a cnbl jk to go🫂
ORIGINAL STORY [CNBL] | MAIN MASTERLIST

Jungkook loves when he gives it to you slow. Loves the heavy breathes that puff out of your mouth, the drawl out moans that give your mouth that lovely, erotic O-shape which image burns in his head for the next few days (two days, at the very least), and the way he can feel the exact moment when you clench and unclench around the ridges of his hard cock.
But he also loves it when he jackhammers into your pussy, pounding in and out of it at a quick pace that your eyes roll to the back of your head, your fingers digging into his skin (or scalp), the staccato rhythm of your “oh”s and “ah”s that sound like real music to his ears, and the way your mouth hangs open as you utter sweet gibberish into the air because the pleasure he’s giving you feels too much.
“Give it to me, give it to me,” you whisper against his mouth. On your back, you’re sprawled across his bed, your thighs resting on the crook of Jungkook’s elbows as he pounds into you like he’s trying to win a contest.
There’s dried up tears on the side of your eyes, your lips swollen from the way you’ve been kissing for minutes, and Jungkook finds it hard to focus on one thing when you have your pussy gripping around him like a fucking vice, your breasts bouncing at his every quick thrust, and your pretty face looking at him like you just want nothing but cock.
“Y-yeah, fuck—” Jungkook grunts, repeating the same motion of fucking into you at a pace so fast he can hear his bedframe hitting the wall when he thrusts back. He grips your thighs tight, veins popping out of his arms. “You like this, baby? Love when I fuck you quick and fast?”
You nod your head, bottom lip caught in your teeth, looking up at him with those hooded eyes that Jungkook is near to losing his goddamn mind. God, you’re so fucking pretty it genuinely hurts him. Most especially his dick.
“Am I fucking you stupid, angel?” He slides out, and then enters you abruptly, making you cry out in pleasure. “I'm taking care of you so good you can't think straight, huh? Hm?’
“Y-yes!” You squeak out, grabbing to try and hold onto his biceps. Jungkook leans forward so you can find leverage on his body, his dick hitting deeper into your core at the movement. At the mewl that you let out, he stretches your legs higher until you almost feel like you’re being folded in half, with Jungkook jackhammering his dick into your tight pussy.
"S-so good…" you whimpered, almost out of breath.
Jungkook groans at the pretty sound. “Ngh– I feel fucking good, too, baby. You're so fucking pretty. Squeeze those tits for me.”
You oblige, grabbing your boobs and squishing them together. Jungkook revels at the sight, wanting nothing but to burn every second in memory. Sometimes, he wishes he can have some sort of copy of you two doing this… just a little something for your own private enjoyment. He hasn’t brought it up to you, mostly because he thinks you won’t necessarily be into the idea as much as he is. Will probably say no, or be partial to it at best.
Next time. He tells himself.
“Fuck, fuck – fuck!” Jungkook grunts, sliding in and out of you, picking up his pace more, beginning to sound delirious at the sensation of your walls fluttering around his cock. It’s impossible the way you just grow tighter every second, clenching around him like you don’t have any intentions of letting go.
“J-Jungkook—!” You cry out, arms reaching out for him, and when Jungkook sees the small stream of tears falling out from your eyes again, he can’t help but fuck you senseless. “Oh my god– ah– fuck, i-it feels so good, don’t stop, don’t stop.”
He continues his movements, pounding into your pussy, tightening his hold on your hips. Your nails dig into his forearms, and your chest subtly moves up and down at every action that he makes. When you close your eyes, that’s when Jungkook knows that your climax is near, and so he stays consistent in his pace, just fucking into you deep and fast – just like how you like it now.
“Ah– there, Jungkook— oh god–!” You yelp, choking in your words, your pussy spasming around Jungkook’s cock until he feels that burst of hot white around his shaft. You reflexively let out a loud moan, but what you say next completely catches him off-guard.
“It feels so good– I love you.”
Jungkook staggers, dick slipping out of you momentarily at your sudden confession. But as he lets his gaze fall to your face, you have your eyes closed, lost in the moment, like how you usually are when you just orgasmed – and Jungkook knows he can’t talk to you at that state, nor can he ask to confirm what you just said.
So he looks down at where your bodies meet, shakily breathes when he sees the base of his cock getting covered in your cum, your juices dripping all over his dark sheets making a wet spot underneath you.
“F-fuck,” He hisses, quickening his pace to let himself go.
He thinks about the sound of your “I love you”, how it falls prettily on your lips, and how good it would be to hear that one more fucking time.
Letting out a guttural groan, the thought completely tips him over the edge, and he grips his cock to shoot his cum into your swollen hole, painting your walls white just as you painted his shaft the same color with your own orgasm.
Unexpectedly, he feels you gush the second time.
It’s cold and it’s hot at the same time – the sensation. It’s top three one of the best feelings a man could ever experience, and Jungkook is greedy – always greedy when it comes to you – that he pushes his cock back in to put it all in you, not wanting any to be wasted on the mattress. And just because he wants to hear that pretty moan from you again when he enters your cunt.
You do, making the hair on his body tingle.
He drops down beside your body – more like on top of you, but a little off to the side – making sure to not put all his weight on you lest he hurts you. As usual, you receive him wholeheartedly with open arms, humming when he begins to suckle on your still rock-hard nipples, his hand shooting up to fondle the other one. Instantly, your hand caresses his hair.
“Kook.”
“Hm?” He hums against your breast.
“I’m sore. Get your dick off me.”
Jungkook frowns, but nonetheless acquiesces and slides out of you. He hisses when he feels your cum leaking out, about to insert a finger in you to stop it, but you take his temporary separation from you to stand up from the bed, leaving him on it alone.
“Baby,” Jungkook calls – whines – really, looking at you with furrowed brows.
You roll your eyes. “I’m not cockwarming you tonight. I’m going to the shower–” When you see him moving to get up from the bed as well, you shoot him a glare. “No. No funny business. I’ll just go clean up and you can too and then we’ll sleep.”
“I can clean you up.” Jungkook looks at you, wide-eyed. You look at him dryly. He sighs and then lets himself fall back to the bed, naked and all that, his dick still semi-hard against his stomach. “Okay, fine.”
“Good.”
He stares at your ass as you go to the bathroom, enjoying the view of your naked back before you disappear inside the room.
Jungkook closes his eyes as he crosses his arms on the back of his head, thinking that maybe it’s good you didn’t let him in the shower with you because… how does he bring up the fact that you just said… it?
“I love you.”
Did you… mean that? Like… you love him? Like, actually, love love him?
It’s been eight months since your whole set up started. Four months of solely fucking and another four months of more fucking but you’ve actually both established that you like each other.
Of course, Jungkook feels more than that. He has for a long time now. He’s liked you since the first time you had sex and he started having deeper feelings for you every other day since then.
Needless to say, Jungkoon loves you.
Has for a long time now.
But he didn’t say anything because he was scared that you would be scared. He felt like the luckiest guy on earth when you told him you liked him – and he felt pretty much untouchable when you two started exclusively dating each other four months ago. You’re definitely his girlfriend now and him your boyfriend – and sure, you haven’t had The Talk yet, but… now that you said you love him… that pretty much changes the course of everything…
Right?
However, he finds himself pondering on it.
Did you really mean that? Jungkook doesn’t think you’re the kind of person who just spout words as heavy as that confession, so you couldn’t have been insincere when you let that out.
But… you were in the middle of sex, though. Did you just say it because you were in that position? Maybe you figured him out long ago now, have already known that he loves you, so you just said it to get him off?
That’s probably not the case, he physically shakes his head. He knows that you know you don’t need to do anything else other than be underneath him or on top of him so he can release. Hell, your mere voice is even enough to tip him off the edge; there are countless incidents where he feels a certain kind of desperation for you, in the morning or in the middle of the night when you’re away and not in his arms, and he presses your name on his contact last, then what’s supposed to be an innocent call turns into something very much far from wholesome when he feels his dick twitch at the very sound of your voice and embarrassingly cums in his pants when you goad him about it.
You know your tight hold on him. You don’t need to say I love you to get him off.
But damn, did that really get him going more than usual.
“Shit.” Jungkook hisses, his head throbbing at the thoughts going haywire inside his head. His dick has calmed down now, soft in between his legs, and he’s starting to feel sticky, especially with the ruined sheets on his back.
Standing up, he picks them up to put them in the hamper, grabbing a towel real quick to wrap around his lower half.
When he finishes changing the bedsheets into fresh and clean ones, that’s when you step out of the shower.
“I turned on the hot water for you.” You say, tightening your baby blue robe which is a pair of Jungkook’s own robe that he bought for you two two months ago.
Jungkook walks over to your direction and takes you by the waist to plant a quick kiss on your lips.
“Thank you, angel,” he says. You give him a smile and he can’t help but give you a peck once again. “I made the bed.”
“Thanks.”
Jungkook stands there and he doesn’t notice that he’s staring until you point it out with an arched brow.
“What?”
With a surprised look, Jungkook takes himself out of his trance. “Oh, uh, nothing.” He gives you a hesitant smile. He’s actually thinking of asking you about the thing you said earlier. But right now, as he looks at you again, he finds himself a bit reluctant. “I’ll shower now.”
You look at him weird and Jungkook chuckles as he leans down to kiss you again.
When you break the contact, going over to his closet where a huge portion of your own clothes have already made its own way to, Jungkook thinks that maybe he’ll bring it up when he finishes showering.
But as he steps back out of the shower ten minutes later, you’re already sprawled across the bed with your nightie on.
And as Jungkook steps closer to you, you’re fast asleep, soft snores coming out of your mouth, pretty and peaceful in your slumber.
Jungkook smiles at the sight.
Tomorrow. He’ll bring it up tomorrow instead.

In the morning when Jungkook woke up, he didn't find you in his arms like he expected to. And when he looked through the notifications on his phone, your text told him that you already went for your 10 am class. Jungkook’s first one is at 2:30 in the afternoon.
He intended to take you out for lunch in the afternoon, but when he called you, you said you had a meeting with your club and you’d only be free in the evening onwards.
At 9:30pm, when all of Jungkook’s classes have ended, he sent you a text again, hoping you’d be free by the time.
One whole day of not seeing your face and he was starting to feel a little on edge.
[9:31pm] Jungkook: hi baby classes ended [9:31pm] Jungkook: hru i havent seen u at all today
Jungkook couldn’t help but send another one.
[9:32pm] Jungkook: i missed u. can i come over?
At that point, he was already over at the uni’s parking lot, going to the direction of his car and unlocking it when he got near. When he buckled himself into the driver’s seat, he hoped to see a reply from you.
But nothing came.
When he arrived home at the end of the day, he took a quick half-bath and ate some leftovers in the fridge.
As of now, as he settles himself onto his bed, he scrolls through your text thread, the Delivered button on his last text taunting him the longer he looks at it.
With furrowed brows, he begins to type up another message but then soon, the Delivered stamp changes to Read, and the three dancing dots on your end play on his screen, which somehow lightens his mood.
[10:45pm] princess🥰💓: Hello, Kook! So sorry for the late reply. I got caught up with classes and the long meeting with the club today [10:46pm] princess🥰💓: We apparently have to push the fall edition of the print a week earlier and I also have to revise some stuff in my thesis so I’m a bit tight on sched
Jungkook nods to himself upon reading the text message, feeling bad for you.
[10:47pm] Jungkook: ohh ic ic [10:47pm] Jungkook: do u want me to bring u food?
[10:48pm] princess🥰💓: Like, youre coming over?
[10:48pm] Jungkook: yeahh [10:48pm] Jungkook: if u want
Jungkook waits as the bubbles appear and disappear on your end, until he receives your final reply.
[10:50pm] princess🥰💓: Hmm I appreciate it but Im over at Hana’s right now. Club stuff. And then I’ll go home later to work on my paper
Pouting, Jungkook sighs as he reads your message. He really wants to see you today… he misses your pretty face and your voice and your touch.
But he doesn’t really want to push. You’re very anal about your personal space, especially when it relates to your academics.
Letting out another heavy sigh again, he tells you to give him a call when you’re at your place.
He doesn't receive any.

“Hey,”
“What the—” You see the librarian from across the room immediately eyeing you with a deadly stare. Mouthing a shameful “sorry”, you clutch your chest, turning to the embodied voice again properly this time. Only to get taken aback. “Oh hey… hi.”
Jungkook stands in front of you and he looks so… handsome – nothing new or groundbreaking, per se. He always looks like that. With only a simple combo of grey hoodie and black cargo pants, his backpack slung over one shoulder, he can probably outmodel professionals on the runway. Though, the way he looks so comfy is making you want nothing but to snuggle him.
“Busy day?” He asks, pertaining to the laptop and stack of books on your table. Placing his bag on the floor underneath the table, he takes the seat beside you.
“Yeah… I'm writing an essay right now.” You offer him a small smile. It feels like you haven't seen each other for weeks, but the truth is, it's just been over two days since you were at his place.
“I see. Do you mind me here?”
“Nope. You can do whatever you want.”
"Can I kiss you then?" He asks and that makes you pause.
Looking around, you take note that there aren’t a lot of people in the library anymore as it’s already late. There’s the librarian a few feet away from you, but he’s currently busy doing something on his computer. With a quiet chuckle, you face Jungkook and say, “Do you need to ask?”
Jungkook shrugs, already leaning towards you. “I just feel like it.”
“It's fine, Kook.” you turn your head to him, and he does not waste any second, closing the gap between you both and capturing your lips in his for a soft kiss.
You sigh in his mouth. You miss him so much and he smells so good it calms your insides. You've been stressing over the essay you’re writing, but all that seems to die down as a result from the exchange with Jungkook.
God, you really need to talk to him.
“Missed you.” He says once your faces are apart. He pecks your lips one more time for good measure and gives you that adorable bunny smile of his.
“We saw each other, like, two days ago.” You chuckle, making sure to muffle the sound.
Scooting his chair closer to you, Jungkook whines in your ear, “Too long.” When you look at his face, there's a small hint of pout on his lips.
“Well, we're here now.”
“Really?” Jungkook raises his brow. “Then let's get out of here. You can write your essay at my place and I'll cook you dinner and then we can binge watch the third season of Twin Peaks.”
“You haven't even started on the first season, why are you watching the third.” You say with an incredulous tone.
“Doesn't matter.”

It does matter.
Jungkook has driven you both to his place. When he turned on his TV, you told him you can just start Twin Peaks all over again so he can understand what he's watching, but he insisted that he was gonna know the context eventually – fast forward, he did not. So here he currently is, asking you who everybody is and what’s the context of what they’re saying, and as much as you love his company, people posing questions after questions while watching something will never not be a pet peeve of yours.
“Baby,” you start. Jungkook looks at you with doe eyes. You cup his face and stare at him seriously. “You're annoying me.”
He lets out a gasp.
A literal, audible gasp.
“That hurt. Please tell me you're joking.” Jungkook says that, but you can see the playful glint in his eyes as you squint yours at him.
He made you bulgogi and you both devoured the last of it five minutes ago – and you're thankful for his kindness and generosity but god—
You push on his chest lightly. “Then stop asking. I told you we can just watch the first season but then you want to jump into the last one, of course you're gonna be confused.”
“Yeah but you already watched all of it. I didn't want you to get bored.” Jungkook pouts. You stare at him for a while and you kind of hate that he’s so handsome and so cute at the same time it makes it hard for you to completely be annoyed with him.
There's a fond look on your face when you roll your eyes again. Scooting closer to him on the couch, you plant a quick kiss to his cheek.
“You're really sweet, Kook, but why don't we just watch a movie or something.”
He leans down to kiss your mouth. “Alright. You pick the movie and I'll go grab some chips from the pantry.”
You smile at him before he disappears to fetch some food, leaving you to browse through the catalog. When he returns shortly, you muse, “You're really nice and sweet to me today. What's up?”
Jungkook scoffs, as if offended by what you said. “Am I not nice and sweet every other day?”
“That's not what I meant. You're just extra sweet and extra nice tonight— I mean, you usually put up a fight on who picks the movies.”
“I let you win every time though?” He says and you nod in thought.
“True.” Looking back to the television, you hover over the Notting Hill poster. Thinking that the description sounds interesting, you click on it. As the movie loads, you turn your gaze to Jungkook and nudge his leg. “But still…”
He can’t help but chuckle at your persistence. Gathering your feet on his lap, he leans back and retorts, “I just missed you so much. Is that bad?”
You don't anticipate the way he lifts one of your legs, holding your ankle up and then putting a kiss on it.
It makes blood rush to your cheeks. With his mussed hair and the grey hoodie and cargo pants from earlier changed into a simple white shirt and grey sweatpants, he looks comfy you just want to jump him and bite him and kiss him all at the same time.
Damn. He really makes you feel a whole lot of things you're starting to think you need an intervention.
You’ve never been so attracted to somebody before. It may be because you know you’re past the point of being just attracted to him.
And then there’s that beat in your heart again. The flip-flopping and the weird feeling in your stomach.
You look away from his intense gaze. “No.”
You hear him let out a low chuckle, a sound so attractive you feel the hair on every part of your body standing up.
“Come here.” he puts your legs away from his lap, much to your little disappointment. But he beckons you to come close to him, and so you do, leaving your lying position from the couch to go over to where he is. You don't know whether you're gonna place yourself beside him or what, but he beats you to it as he takes your thighs and guides you to straddle him.
You do so without any words, following his lead. You feel heat creeping up your neck when you finally land on his lap, his arms circling around you.
“Why do you still smell like flowers even after a whole day?” It's followed with him sniffing the juncture between your neck and shoulder, inhaling your scent.
You flinch 'cause it tickles a little. He always does and says that shit and you can't help but laugh, always not knowing what to say to that. But Jungkook doesn’t seem to need your input, anyway.
He squeezes your body, hugging you tighter to him.
“I really missed you, you know?”
You giggle. “Yeah, you said that the third time now.”
“You're keeping count but why can't you just say you miss me too?” He pulls away, making sure to face you so you see the pout on his face.
You peck his lips. “That's because I don't.” You joke, earning a glare.
“Wow, first you say I'm annoying and now you apparently didn't miss me?” You're sure he's joking but the frown on his face makes you think that maybe somewhere in his head, he's thinking otherwise.
You smile at him. “I was just kidding, Kook. Of course I missed you too. And thank you for the food.” You say against his lips, leaning down to kiss him again.
“Does that mean you’re done avoiding me now?”
Breaking away from the kiss, you look at him in surprise, taken aback by his words.
“What?” you say, confused.
Jungkook arches a brow. You both stare into each other’s eyes but then his gets way too intense that you can’t help but look away. That’s when you hear him sigh.
“Baby, talk to me.” Jungkook cups your jaw with his palm, gently directing your face towards his. “I don’t like when we don’t talk. You clearly have something on your mind. What is it? Is it something I can fix?”
Hearing his words makes your heart melt and your brain turn into mush. Is it something I can fix? Jesus.
How can you not fall for him when he says things like that?
“Did I do something wrong?” Jungkook asks when you don’t say a thing.
That earns him an instant, aggressive shake of your head.
“No, Jungkook. You didn’t do anything wrong, not at all,” you say, planting your palms on his shoulders to assure him. You see the slight hint of smile on the curve of his lips. “It’s, uh, it’s me…” you trail off, not sure how to navigate your next words. You take note of the way Jungkook’s eyebrows meet in confusion. “I’ve just been… feeling weird lately.”
At that, his confusion grows even more, but it’s more out of concern instead of perplexity.
“What’s wrong, angel? You don’t feel okay?” He says, caressing your face as if he’ll find the issue there. He looks so willing to just get you to okay and it makes your heart beat a little faster than usual.
“No– I mean, I feel okay. It’s not that,” you shake your head, shy at his doting. When he waits for your next words, you can’t help but bury your face in the crook of his neck as you say— more like whisper— against his skin, “I told you I love you the other day.”
You feel Jungkook stilling under you. And it makes you nervous. Heart racing against your ribcage, you can’t find it in yourself to break away from your hold on him because that would mean you have to look into his eyes – and you don’t want to. Your cheeks feel so hot and you feel like throwing up. Your emotions are all over the place and Jungkook’s prolonged silence isn’t helping at all.
But suddenly, those thoughts die down when you feel him relaxing underneath you, his arms wrapping around your waist. You feel a weight on the crown of your head and with a gentle rub on your back, Jungkook whispers against your hair, “I love you, too.”
That makes you instantly look up from him. When you see his face, his lips are curved into a soft smile.
With furrowed brows, you voice out your concern.
“You don’t need to say it back just ‘cause I told you that.”
Now, it’s Jungkook’s turn to be confused.
“I’m not saying it just ‘cause you said it, baby.” He looks so sincere and for a moment, you feel bad for doubting him for a second. Jungkook must’ve noticed the look on your face as he cups your jaw again, angling it towards him. You feel his smile against your mouth when he presses his lips to yours. “I'm in love with you, __. I have been for the past few months now.”
Your eyes widen a bit when he calls you by your name.
Jungkook has always liked calling you by every endearing pet name in the world that you’re lowkey convinced he forgot your real name at this point, but when the sweet syllable rolls off his tongue, you can’t help but melt.
He doesn’t seem to notice your surprise, though. Just breaks away from the contact you’re both engaged in and he takes your wrist in his hand, lifting it to his face to kiss the skin on the side of your palm.
The action was so momentary and brief but it doesn’t deter the fact that it made your heart jump.
You think it’s funny how you feel so much whenever he’s around. You think it’s funny that you feel so giddy – even after all this time.
You think it’s funny that before the whole thing started, you’ve never considered this ever happening but here you are, completely elated over the fact that you’re in love with Jeon Jungkook and he feels the same way too.
“You have?” You say, voice quiet. He nods, humming, leaning to your palm when you put it over his cheek. “Since when?”
“The first time we went to that abandoned house.”
Your lips part at the declaration. That was… that happened so long ago. Nearly four months from the present.
“That long?” You blink a few times at him, not really sure how to react to that confession.
Jungkook chuckles lowly, pressing a kiss to your thumb again. You like how his instinct is to always have a form of physical contact with you whenever you’re around. You don’t know if he knows that himself, but you’ve definitely observed that for the past few months you’ve been “exclusively” seeing each other and it just… absolutely melts you.
“I know… I’m a bit of a coward for not telling you sooner. But I didn’t want to scare you off.” Jungkook says admittedly, and his last sentence makes your heart twinge.
He didn’t want to scare you off. Of course he’d think that. You had a total breakdown at the prospect of him opening up to you just four months ago – before you told him you liked him.
You swallow the sudden lump in your throat. “I— yeah. I was in my head over the past two days, you know?”
Jungkook’s face etches into a look of concern. “Hm?”
Nodding your head slowly, you find comfort in tracing random shapes and lines on his chest instead.
“These feelings… they’re not new. I didn’t just wake up one day and realized I love you. I felt it during the time when we woke up together in bed for the first time at your place. I felt it when you drove three hours from your parents’ house to my dorm just ‘cause I told you I missed you. I felt it when you stayed up late with me just so you could help me make my flash cards. I—” you look away, suddenly embarrassed at what you’re saying. It’s not like you to say so much. Not like you to show and voice out this extent of your emotion. “I remember the times I felt I loved you for the briefest of moments in the past three months, but lately, I can't stop thinking about it and suddenly, I can’t count on my fingers anymore how many times I felt I love you. I loved you every hour of last week and yesterday I loved you even more.”
You watch as Jungkook looks at you with parted lips. Awe-struck? You don’t want to hype yourself up too much. So you look away, keeping your eyes focused on his white shirt.
“And what about today?” Jungkook suddenly speaks.
You free your bottom lip from your teeth and finally look Jungkook in the eyes. “I love you more than I did yesterday. And tomorrow I’ll do the same.”
“Fuck.” Jungkook utters, bowing his head. His tone's a mix of incredulity, amusement, and joy at the same time. When he looks up at you again, he looks at you with so much sparkle in his eyes you’re starting to think you’re a fool for not noticing earlier the love they hold for you in them. “I just… wow.”
Your eyebrows meet in confusion.
Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head. “I just… I had this huge confession in my head, you know? I– uh– I wrote it in my notes app.”
Suddenly, the serious atmosphere breaks as you can’t help but laugh. “What?”
With a small pout, Jungkook continues, “I’m not good with words, you know that. So, I had this big confession planned out. I was gonna tell you in detail how much I love you, but after hearing what you just said… I forgot about everything I tried to memorize last night.”
Now you’re giggling in his lap. Just trying to visualize him typing on his phone while figuring out what to say to you and him studying it, memorizing the lines…
You're so glad it's him you fell for.
“Don’t laugh,” he scolds, but there's a hint of playfulness that lies underneath it. Jungkook inserts his hand under your shirt and starts rubbing the skin of your waist. “Truth is that I was afraid when you started avoiding me. Thought I’d lose you again.”
His vulnerable confession makes you stop completely. There’s a certain melancholy in his eyes when he mentions it, and you feel like scolding yourself for even causing that.
“What I did wasn’t the most mature way to go about it. I’m sorry,” you start. Sighing, you adjust yourself on his lap to get more comfortable. “Uh… I guess I was just embarrassed and wanted to have time to compose myself.”
“What were you embarrassed for?”
There’s heat that spreads to your cheeks. For a brief second, you consider lying, but then you remember honesty. It’s what got you both here. Just being open to each other and communicating.
“Jungkook, no one wants their first I love you said during sex.” You deadpan.
“Oh.” He blinks.
At that, you can’t help but roll your eyes. “Exactly.”
“What’s wrong with that, though?” Jungkook furrows his brows. But his tone borders on teasing when he continues, “You know what they say? Make a girl cum one and she’ll love you, make a girl cum twice and she’ll actually tell you she loves you.”
“Oh my god.” you groan, jabbing at his chest slightly and taking off your legs off the couch so that you stop straddling him.
Jungkook bursts into laughter and is quick to grab your waist, effectively pulling you back to him again. It results in you falling haphazardly into his lap, which he takes as an opportunity to cage you in a hug and guide you on your back to hover on top of you.
“I’m kidding, baby,” he whispers against your cheek. “I’m kidding.”
You inhale a sharp breath when he starts kissing along your jaw. “Good.”
“I really appreciate you for saying all those things. I wish I can be as eloquent as you,” He tips your jaw with his fingers so that you look at him. “You’re a poet, __.”
That makes you smile. You secretly like when he calls you by all these petnames... but the way your name rolls of his tongue just hits a lot more different.
“As long as you love me back, Kook.” you say, pushing his bangs off his forehead so that you can look at his face wholly.
“I love you.” He confesses, kissing your lips.
“I love you too.” you smile.
Jungkook pecks your lips one more time and suddenly follows it up with another one. Soon, you’re a giggling mess underneath him on the couch when he keeps it up until it tickles.
“Jungkook,” you whine, wriggling under him and avoiding his mouth.
This only makes Jungkook chuckle in the crook of your neck, halting his cute assault on your lips. When the high of the laughter comes off, you feel a wet trail of kisses down to the base of your neck, and suddenly, Jungkook’s hands are under your shirt, rubbing along the bare skin of your waist. While he peppers open-mouthed pecks on your neck, his fingers trail upwards until they’re on your bare tits.
“Oh,” you let out a low moan when his palm squeezes around the flesh.
It earns a groan from Jungkook, who presses himself closer to you. And it’s when you feel the growing need on his crotch area – his dick poking your stomach as he stays lapping up your neck.
“Jungkook,” you call him again. It takes Jungkook a few seconds to look up at you. When he does, his long hair is a mess on his head and his eyes are hooded in that drunken-like state, lips wet from his previous ministrations.
“Hm?” He hums, gives both your boobs a good squeeze again, making you sigh out. Jungkook continues to touch you, fondling your breasts in his hand as he starts kissing up your jaw instead.
“I want you.” you whisper against the air, closing your eyes at the sensation of his touch.
He feels so good on you. You want to take off your stupid clothes.
“Shit,” Jungkook hisses, giving an involuntary thrust against your crotch that made you both groan. “Fuck. I want you, too, baby— god, let me just—”
You whine when he breaks away from you, but you watch in awe as he makes quick work of kneeling in between your legs, peeling off the white shirt from his body with one arm from the back in a swift motion. He throws it on the floor and swipes his hair out of his face, and in that brief moment, with his toned abdomen and inked arm, you nearly melt.
“Can I take off your shorts?” He asks, but he already has his fingers hooked over the bottom you’ve changed into when you got into his apartment. Giving him a nod, you help him in taking off the garment by lifting your bum off the sofa. Jungkook, ever the expert in the art of taking off your clothes, does it quick, the shorts landing on the floor together with his shirt, forming a small heap. Bottoming out, he takes your thighs in the crook of his elbows and scoot your body closer to his. The angle is a bit awkward from where you lie, and Jungkook makes your cheeks burn when he turns his head to the side to kiss your knee. “So beautiful, baby. Your legs are so smooth.”
“Stop talking,” you say, embarrassed.
Jungkook chuckles at your reaction, already used to it. His face leans even closer and soon he has the tip of his nose on your panty-cladded core. Like clockwork, he takes a subtle sniff, closing his eyes for a little while at the scent, gripping your thighs tighter at the action.
If you weren’t a heating mess before, you’re near on combustion now. Surely, Jungkook knows what this does to you.
“You smell so good. Such a pretty girl,” he grunts. Then, he presses a kiss to your pussy which makes your breath hitch.
“Jungkook,” you let out a whine for the nth time. “Don’t tease.”
He shushes you out, clicking his tongue as if you did something wrong.
You capture your bottom lip in your teeth. Jungkook cups your jaw so you can look at him when he says, “Be patient, princess. I’ll give you what you want. Always.” His voice is gentle and soft, and you know he means it.
Still, you give him a pout.
“I wanna fuck.”
He chuckles, low and sounding so attractive when he brings his fingers through his hair again. It doesn’t help that you can clearly see the outline of his dick getting bigger inside his grey sweats. Damn those joggers for real.
“Okay,” Jungkook smiles down at you. “Take your shirt off.”
You make quick work of removing your shirt off to reveal your naked body to him. At this point, only your underwear and his pants are the only things keeping you apart.
As usual, Jungkook zeroes in on your body instantly, paying the most attention to your tits. According to him, they’re two of his most favorite things in the world and as much as you’d like to call bullshit on that, it really does seem like he’s not joking about it at all.
“Oh, baby,” Jungkook brings your legs down gently, sliding on top of your body and hovering as he quickly fondles your boobs with his huge palms. “Fuck, you’re so soft.” He says, pressing a kiss to your cleavage. Not wasting any more time, he latches his tongue around a nipple, and you automatically hold onto his head for support when the sensation nearly knocks you off the couch.
Despite that little movement from you, Jungkook continues to lap at your breasts. Licking and tugging at your nipple to get it hard, paying attention to the other one by pinching it and simultaneously squeezing. As seconds pass, Jungkook alternates between your breasts, and as he does so, you feel your core starting to heat up, your need growing bigger.
“B-baby,” you sigh out, gripping his hair tighter which makes him grunt. “I want you.”
“I know, baby, I know.” He whispers against your skin. You’re about to whine some more when Jungkook finally leaves your chest to pepper kisses down your stomach. When he gets near your nether region, he guides your legs to hook over his shoulder. “These gotta go.” He says about your panties, and you’re more than willing to help him take it off you.
The moment it's no longer on you, Jungkook hisses at the sight, head leaning down to finally plant his mouth on your pussy.
The first lick feels ecstatic just like it always does. With Jungkook lapping up a big stripe over the length of your core, you keep your bucking to a minimum, holding onto his hair instead.
“Taste so fucking good, I can never get enough of you,” he says before he dives in again. Jungkook has this thing when he eats pussy. He always does it like he’s making out with your mouth, his tongue prodding at every seams, wrapping your labia around his lips and being messy with it.
Jungkook breaks away for a while as you hear a sound of spit, followed by the cold sensation of his saliva dripping down to your hole. Soon, you feel Jungkook’s thumb beginning to rub your clit, resulting in a ragged breathing from your lungs.
“F-fuck,” you moan, tightening your hold on his hair you’re sure you’re pulling on his scalp.
“You’re so fucking wet for me. So sensitive,” Jungkook says as he picks up the pace of his thumb. “Ain’t that right, pretty girl? All for me, right? This is all for me, hm?”
“Y-yes!” you squeak out when you feel him prodding his tongue at your entrance again. His finger is fast against your sensitive bud, with his tongue lapping up the juices that eagerly come out of your hole. Jungkook makes out with your pussy like he would with your mouth, and with the tip of his nose touching your skin at this proximity, you can't say you’re not close to the edge. And embarrassingly so – because he’s just gotten started and you already feel like cumming.
“Sh–shit,” Jungkook hisses. He shifts his thumb with his tongue this time in stimulating your clit, using two fingers instead to stretch your pussy out open just so he can see the way it throbs and flutters at his every action. It’s a sinful sight, really, the way you’re so open and wet for him.
Soon after, Jungkook’s getting a little more aggressive in the way he pushes his head closer to your core, jaw working to devour your mound, two digits inserting themselves in your aching hole that somehow satisfies your need to be filled at the very moment.
And you’re a panting mess beneath him – trying so hard to muffle the moans from your mouth. Jungkook’s gotten a total of three noise complaints for the past 4 months you’ve been fucking at his place – and even though he tells you not to worry, you find that it’s hard to believe when the one time that you got to ride in the elevator with his neighbor, she looked at you both like she knew you’ve done something.
Never again.
As if having read your thoughts, Jungkook breaks away for a while to say, “Don’t hold back, gorgeous. Let me hear those pretty moans of yours.”
Your cheeks burn with heat as you see his wet jaw and plump lips when you glance down. When your gazes meet, Jungkook inserts his middle and ring fingers in his mouth, and when he pops them back out all wet with his saliva, he pushes them into your hole, lax in his movements, looking right into your eyes as he does so.
“Oh my god,” you gasp, holding onto his wrist automatically when he pumps his digits into you faster than his pace earlier.
“There,” Jungkook smirks. “Moan for me, angel.”
“J-jungkook– oh my god– ah–!”
Jungkook goes back to leaning his head down and soon enough, his mouth is back on your pussy, simultaneously sucking your clit and licking around your labia, all the whole sliding his fingers in and out of you, you can feel yourself dripping down the leather of his couch.
“Fuck,” you sigh out, suddenly feeling overstimulated.
Jungkook picks up his pace and you feel a sting on the sides of your eyes as the pleasure begins to build up. Your hold on his wrist falls off and as if he knows exactly what you’re looking for, he reaches for your hand with his free one, interlocking your fingers together as you see him look up at you while he eats you out.
“Oh god,” you mewl, reaching down with your other arm to swipe his fringes off his forehead so you can see him better.
Jungkook stares intently at you as you do the same watching him licking your core enthusiastically. You let your head fall back at a particularly delicious lick, and soon after, you feel that familiar zap that starts on your toes that goes right up to your stomach.
“K-kook,” you call pathetically, swallowing the lump in your throat. It feels somewhat dry at this point. Closing your eyes, you focus on the sensation of his tongue flicking your clit, saying, “I’m cumming.”
Jungkook keeps his movements of your pussy, not relenting even when you grab his hair a little too tight, and you feel like you’re breaking off his fingers’ joints by the way you’re gripping it so hard.
“I’m cum– there, fuck, that feels so good– I’m cumming!”
The knot in your stomach snaps and you feel a gush of wetness coming out of your pussy when it does so. You hear Jungkook groaning in between your legs, his licking becoming more messy as you feel him use three fingers to rub over your core like a greedy man wanting everything to be his.
“Jungkook…” you sigh out, your fingers easing their hold onto his, already feeling sensitive after your release. You look down at Jungkook only to see the crown of his head as keeps lapping up your wetness. He hums in your pussy and you know you can’t keep him off there for awhile so you wait, running your fingers through his hair soothingly, feeling bad for almost ripping it out awhile ago. “Kook, I’m sensitive.”
“Hm.” He hums to acknowledge you. He licks one last stripe before he lets go, easing off your thighs on the sofa and trailing kisses on your stomach and breasts until he’s eye level to you. “Love how you taste,” he says, kissing you, and your cheeks burn with heat when you feel your orgasm off his mouth. When he breaks the kiss, he looks at you with a smile you can only identify as lovesick. “I love you.”
That makes you melt.
You thought it would feel weird to hear him say it. But you think about the future and how there would be more like this, with Jungkook telling you he loves you in more shared random moments and you can’t help but mirror the smile he has on his stupid handsome face.
“I love you.” you say, initiating another kiss.
When Jungkook presses his body to you, that’s when you feel his cock poking into your stomach. You assume he’s even more rock hard now, given the previous events.
Sneakily inserting your hand between your bodies, you try to reach for the bulge in his pants and when you take a hold of his dick, Jungkook grunts.
“Babe,” he whines and breaks away from your lips and buries his face in the crook of your neck instead.
“It’s completely unfair how you still have your pants on while I’m completely naked.” You say, palming him through his sweats. You feel Jungkook tense above you, and when you give him a particularly hard squeeze, he retaliates with a bite on your shoulder that makes you squeal. “What the hell was that for?”
“For teasing me,” Jungkook says, finally looking at you. He grabs your arm, kisses the side of your wrist before he hauls himself off you completely, planting his feet on the floor while you lay there on the couch bare and cold. But that doesn’t last long as you feel him picking you up with ease — bridal style.
“Jesus,” you bury your face in his chest out of embarrassment. You’re all naked and he’s carrying you towards his bedroom in this ridiculous position.
Meanwhile, Jungkook just laughs and as he reaches his bedroom, he closes the door lightly with his foot.
“I’m not done with you yet,” He says when he puts you down on the mattress. He has that smarmy smirk on his face as he gets out of his grey sweatpants slowly. You’ve had the inkling he wasn’t wearing any underwear considering that it felt like there was not that much of a barrier when you held them there earlier – but it still takes your breath away when he’s left completely in his naked form, stiff and red-tipped cock standing to attention in his lower abdomen. Arching a brow at you, he trudges over to the edge of the bed and with the deep timbre of his voice, he calls you, “Scoot over here, love.”
The new endearment definitely catches you off guard. Love. Is that something he’s gonna be calling you from now on?
You definitely don’t mind.
You follow his instructions and let your body move closer towards the bottom, making Jungkook hum in approval.
“That’s a good girl.” Suddenly, Jungkook yanks your legs to his direction and you gasp in surprise, only to realize the position you’re both in.
He’s standing right over the edge of the bed while he guides your legs to rest over his shoulders.
Jungkook and you have tried a lot of positions since you established your thing, but surprisingly, this has never been one of them and you find yourself curious as to what he’ll do next.
His tattooed bicep flexes as he trails his finger up your naked thighs, making the hairs on your body tingle, especially your pussy which is all bare for his own viewing. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you watch as Jungkook turns his head to the side, and a gasp catches in your throat when he begins kissing up your calf. When his mouth nears your toes, you nearly yank it out of his hold.
“K-kook,” you stammer, but all Jungkook does is pay you a momentary look and a non-committal hum, turning back to your feet again where he presses a tentative kiss to your big toe. When he feels you wriggle it in his hold once again, he turns to you with furrowed brows. You look away. “It’s uhm…”
When you don’t say anything, Jungkook fills you in. “You don’t like it?”
You feel your cheeks burning even hotter. Fucking hell.
“No– I mean. Uh. I don’t know?” You knit your brows, confused yourself. You’ve never really thought about dabbling into the more adventurous aspect of sex but Jungkook has changed that ever since – right now, though, what he’s trying to do is confusing you. You’re sure you’ve never thought about feet and sex at the same sentence – but when Jungkook kissed your toes, that might have—
Oh god. No freaking way he’s trying to give you a foot kink.
“That’s okay,” Jungkook smiles at you warmly. “I was just gonna kiss them, baby. I love every part of you—” he presses a kiss back to your calf again. Staring deep into your eyes, he tells you gently, “But I’m not gonna do anything you don’t and won’t like, love.”
It seems like the new unlocked petname is doing all things because you could just feel the sudden gush of wetness coming out of you as soon as he said that. Jungkook must’ve noticed, paying a quick look to your pussy and scoffing in amusement as he sees it.
“You like that? Love? Hm?” He caresses your thighs again, his other fingers trailing dangerously close to your core. “Seems like me calling you love gets you wet. What about I love you? Does it get you wet just like how it gets me hard when you say it as well?”
When Jungkook presses his thumb to your clit again, you moan, feeling him continue his ministrations. You hold your breath when he begins picking up the pace of his rubbing, and with your position, it gives you an opportunity to spread your legs even more, feeling Jungkook hiss at the action.
“Fuck. You really are so pretty. I’m so fucking lucky you love me,” Jungkook says. He talks sweet but you hear a sound of spit coming from him to your pussy, his saliva dripping down your core, making you mewl. “I’m gonna make love to you all night. Show you how much I love you.” Jungkook whispers as he pushes a finger into your hole, sliding in and out. “Look at what you do to me, love.”
You open your eyes to see what he’s talking about, and when you zero in on his cock, it impossibly became bigger, the tip an angry shade of red now. It looks so tight and rigid and veiny that you want to whine to touch it – but you decide to lay still, anticipating his next move.
“Put it in me,” you say, sounding challenging.
“I will, just gotta make sure you’re all ready.” Jungkook muses before he inserts his finger once again. It glides in pretty easily, and you’re sure that you’re more than ready to take his cock.
Grunting, Jungkook pulls you closer and lets go of one of your thighs to grip his dick. He gives it a good squeeze twice before he puts it against the lips of your pussy.
“Oh god,” you moan at the weight of him.
“Shit.” Jungkook hisses. You know he’s feeling the exact same way you do.
When he prods the tip at your entrance, you nearly squeal in delight. Instead, you grip the sheets behind you and look at the way Jungkook’s brows knit in concentration as he grips the base of his cock to enter you fully.
You both moan in unison when the first inch gets inserted, with Jungkook gripping your other thigh tighter and inhaling a sharp breath. Jungkook enters you slowly and arduously, like he’s savoring every second that your pussy swallows every part of his cock.
“You– fuck– you love a big cock but you’re so fucking tight,” He groans as he begins to slide in the remaining inches, getting both your thighs together again.
“It’s your fault,” you retaliate, hissing when he begins to move a little inside you. It doesn’t hurt the least bit – you were already way too wet from your first orgasm on the couch of his living room – but in this position, his cock feels deeper and it just feels so damn good.
“How is it– shit– my fault?” Jungkook grunts, beginning to pick up his pace. “I fuck you almost everyday.”
“Oh god—” you moan when he hits a little too deep at a particular thrust. “You’re so big, that’s why– fuck.”
“Hah.” Jungkook scoffs, bottoming out to enter you again. “Play with your tits for me, baby. Fuck, I love them so much.”
You grab your breasts, thankful at the suggestion because they’re bouncing a little from his pounding and you’re sure they’re gonna be sore the next day.
Needless to say, Jungkook likes what he sees as he continues to slide his cock in and out of you at a steady, slow pace.
There are two sides to Jungkook when it comes to sex. Sometimes, he likes to do it fast with jackhammer thrusts that makes you question his stamina and strength – not rough, because he told you you’re too much of a pillow princess for that (you rolled your eyes at him so hard and he only laughed at you, telling you it’s actually because he didn’t like the thought of hurting you in any way), and you admittedly love that. It’s what got the words “I love you” out of your mouth in the first place. Intense fucking coupled with intense emotions are a combination you now realize is dangerous – but right now, as he pounds into you slowly, making you feel every ridge of his cock, you realize it’s your favorite.
There’s something so intimate about the way Jungkook closes his eyes when he seemingly tries his very best to contain his strength as he enters you with his dick. It’s weirdly hot when he inhales a sharp breath to regulate his breathing, brows furrowed in concentration. Like this, you get to feel every moment of where you both started and where you end.
And when Jungkook leans down on the bed, folding you in half at the action, his dick hits deeper as he plants his palms on the mattress, is cock continuing their ministrations in your cunt.
He grunts in your hair, grabbing your breast and squeezing it hard in his palm which earns a moan from you. Jungkook looks at you and kisses your parted mouth.
“I love you,” he says when he breaks away, kissing your cheek. Then the tip of your nose. And then the space between your eyebrows. “I love you so much.”
You giggle. In the middle of sex. When his cock is snug deep in your pussy.
“You’re a sap.” you can’t help but cup his face in your hand, grinning at him widely.
“Where’s my– shit– I love you back?” Jungkook knits his brows, thrusting in and out of you still. He grips your hip with one hand, and there are balls of sweat on his forehead starting to form at the exertion from his body.
“Of course I love you too, baby,” You say. “Kiss me.”
Jungkook doesn’t wait any more second and leans down to capture your lips into an open-mouthed kiss. You don’t break away until his hips stutter, indicating his impending orgasm.
He’s usually the one who whispers all those sweet nothings in your ear when you’re on the brink of your climax, but this time around, you tell him how much you love his cock, how it’s made for you, and how much you want to keep making love to him all night – and that’s how he breaks.
“F-fuck,” Jungkook groans as he shoots his hot white orgasm inside you, his voice strained as he finishes off with a few more erratic thrusts. “Oh god.”
“That’s it, Kook, cum for me,” you whisper against his lips, your legs already sliding off his shoulder. You can’t help but moan against his mouth when you feel him cumming more.
“I love you, angel.” Jungkook says and kisses you again.
You reciprocate the kiss and hope he feels the smile you have on your lips.
You don’t really expect to cum again – but then Jungkook suddenly palms your ass and taps both cheeks.
“Cum for me a second time.” He says, pecking the side of your lips.
You shake your head. As much as you’d love to, you feel like you’re actually about to break tonight.
“It’s fine—”
But Jungkook cuts you off quickly. “Please?”
And how can you say now when he looks like… that? His sex afterglow puts every man in the movies to shame. And you’re just human prone to giving in – especially when it comes to him specifically.
“Okay.” You say, tapping his cheek with a smile. “How do you want me?”
“Want you to ride me.” He whispers. “Wanna see your pretty eyes while you’re bouncing on my cock.”
You ignore the flutter in your heart at his words.
Jabbing at his chest lightly, you roll your eyes at him and let him get off you to position himself against the headboard of the bed. Jungkook grins when you soon plant your folded legs on both sides of him, helping you put his still erect dick inside your still sopping wet pussy.
You both hiss at the sensation, with you closing your eyes at the way he feels. Meanwhile, Jungkook doesn’t waste any second and dives into your breasts immediately, tugging and sucking at your nipples, squeezing and fondling at the flesh, and moaning when you begin to move up and down on his lap.
“S-so good,” you mewl, wrapping your arms around his neck, fumbling with the hair on his nape.
“That’s it, love. Doing so well.” He leaves your breasts in favor of your jaw, peppering kisses there until he makes a stop at your lips again. Jungkook finds solace in holding your hips as you move on your own, and as he watches your closed eyes and parted mouth, he leans back to the headboard, looking at the image of you at the very moment – wishing he could burn it into memory.
“My god– ah—” You begin to speed up your pace, concentrating on the way Jungkook’s cock seemingly hardens at your every drop and fall.
Soon after, you feel Jungkook sneaking his hands in your pussy, and when you plant one of your palms on the mattress leaning back, Jungkook rubs your clit to help you reach your climax.
You feel yourself leaking on him from both your orgasms in your pussy earlier, and at the thought of that, you feel another wave of ecstasy that snaps in the bottom part of your stomach.
“Oh my fucking god.”
You bury your face in Jungkook’s neck the moment you cum, breathing erratically against his skin.
“You did so well, baby,” Jungkook kisses your hair, caressing your head lovingly. “I love you.”
Humming, you let your body fall lax against his, feeling like your bones just lost all its joints, unable to move. Thankfully, there’s Jungkook to take care of that. When you refused to move, he teases you about being a baby and carries you to the bathroom instead where he tells you to pee while he prepares the shower for the both of you.
Minutes later when you’re both done cleaning yourselves, you lay in Jungkook’s bed beside each other. Or more like, you lean almost all of your weight on top of him, your legs and arms wrapped around his body with Jungkook’s arms underneath your neck, serving as your pillow.
“I think I just unlocked a new kink.” Jungkook says, alternating between kissing your forehead and caressing your head.
“You discover one, like, everyday.” You tell him, eyes shut closed. You’re starting to feel sleepy from everything you did tonight.
Jungkook snorts. “Fair. But for the record, nothing beats this new kink of mine.”
“What is it?”
“The I love you kink.”
Even if you can’t exactly see him, you’re sure he has that stupid cute bunny grin on his face.
Chuckling, you say, “God, you really are so corny.”
“Hey, can a boyfriend not be turned on when his girlfriend says she loves him?”
At that, you freeze. Jungkook must’ve noticed because he stops caressing your head. You move away from his chest and lean on your elbow so you can look down at him.
“We’re girlfriend and boyfriend now?” You ask with knitted brows.
Jungkook looks just as confused. “I mean… yeah?”
“Oh.” You nod. Looking to the other side of the room, you ponder, “Well, that makes sense.”
Jungkook looks offended when your gaze falls back to him again. “What do you mean that makes sense? We’ve been boyfriend and girlfriend since you told me you liked me.”
“You told me you liked me too,” You roll your eyes. “But… really? You think that?”
Now, Jungkook’s pouting.
“Wait, you didn’t think we were boyfriend and girlfriend all these months?”
“Eh…” You think about the past four months since you both established an exclusive relationship with each other. You’ve always thought it was just this unlabeled thing. But apparently… “I guess we are boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“I literally introduced you to my friends as my girlfriend last month, though?” Jungkook asks.
You jut your bottom lip out. “I have no idea.”
He sighs. “Forget about it.”
“It’s okay. I love you.” You say, blinking at him.
Jungkook visibly melts at that.
“I think you just found a new way to get away with anything…” he says, eyeing you suspiciously.
You snicker and cheekily press a quick kiss to his lips.
There haven't been a lot of people who have come to your life that became important to you – and you didn’t expect Jeon Jungkook to be one if it – not at all. But what started as a casual relationship turned into more than that, and now you find yourself deeply in love with him – and happily so.
Meanwhile, Jungkook thinks the same as he caresses your hair, staring at your serene face while you sleep in his arms, thinking it couldn’t get any better than this.

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#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#bts smut#bts fluff#jungkook scenarios#jungkook imagines#fic: cnbl#cnbl drabbles
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High Demand
ꕤ- Pairing: Dealer! Jungkook x Reader
ꕤ- WC: 2.6k
ꕤ- A modern day Romeo and Juliet
Content: college student! reader, grumpy jk, brief texting! au, jk is lowkey whipped, drug use (marijuana), reader is his special customer, vaping, opposites attract, suggestive themes, minor jealousy, idiots in love (but they won't admit it), shot gunning, grinding, fwb?
Other Content: thigh riding, high sex, jk titty appreciation, unprotected sex (no.), hand job, soft dom kook, reader is a little needy, brief switch! koo, hickeys, pet names, spit, biting.


Shaking your head with a small giggle as you looked at your phone before tossing it aside. You're totally his favourite. You know he's stubborn and he would never admit it but deep down he loves delivering to you the most.
Looking around your sad and dimly lit dorm, all the lights were off and your roommate was gone for the weekend doing god knows what with her weird ass biology major boyfriend who would collect rabbit tails in jars for 'science'.
You were looking at one right now actually, it seems they left one behind, on the coffee table. It was just fermenting in... you actually weren't sure and didn't want to know.
Your eyes felt like they were on fire the longer you looked at the stupid philosophy paper you were writing. The bright light from your laptop was beginning to drill into your head. Your head lolled to the side glancing at the time on your phone.
It was almost 11:30, and time for a break. Abandoning the device on the couch for a quick wake-up shower; by the time you'd gotten changed and returned to the living room, you could expect Jungkook any minute now.
Except, this is Jungkook we're talking about. He's always late.
That's why when you heard the familiar rattling of the rusty fire escape you were startled. It was a little past midnight. Climbing through the window in nothing but your basketball shorts and a white tee.
Pleasantly surprised to see Jungkook scaling the platform with a bag of takeout pinned in between his teeth. The sight of you looking down at him from where he climbed made his eyebrows raise but of course he couldn't say anything.
Not until he was finally close enough for you to grab the bag from his mouth and he stands up. You climb back inside first with him following behind with a pained sigh. "I'm so sick of coming here. Got me climbing walls like its fucking subway surfers." He curses while you place the food down on the table.
Completely ignoring him, practically drooling as you slowly peeled open the bag. "And I thought you said you weren't gonna bring me anything." He snatches the bag.
"I didn't."
You let yourself fall onto the couch, arms crossed and unbelieving. "Oh yeah? So you just coincidentally craved Wendy's and decided to haul it up three flights up a ladder from your mouth when you could've just eaten it in the car?"
"Yeah exactly." He shrugs, obviously lying.
"Give me the bag, Jungkook."
"Fine. But I'm charging you extra for the delivery and the labour of bringing it up here." He hands it to you and you roll your eyes knowing it was nothing more than a bluff.
"It's not my fault you're out of shape," you mumble unwrapping the burger. "Oh yeah? Is this what out of shape looks like to you?" He says it almost offended but challenged.
Choking briefly on your food as he lifts up his shirt, revealing the defined abs that you have such lewd memories of. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You try climbing 3 flights up a ladder and tell me it's easy." You shrug,
"Not my fault you're banned from the campus." He drops himself down beside you, reaching for the bag of fries and taking some for himself. "But it is, if you hadn't called me to drop off a stash for Angelica's dorm party maybe I could still take the stairs."
You drop your half-eaten burger with apologetic eyes, "How was I supposed to know they were doing random security checks in the lobby? At least you didn't get arrested." You pout and he scoffs.
"Bare minimum." He says via grumpy mutter under his breath so you offered up the rest of your food to him as a peace offering. A little sad that he actually took it but you were getting full anyway.
As he finished up the rest of your food you couldn't stop yourself from asking, "So do you still do drops with Angelica?" He nods with his mouth full of the last bite, stuffing the wrappers back in the bag.
"How often does she call you?-- for deliveries I mean." He chuckles, licking his lips, "Jealous?" You take the trash off the coffee table and bring it to the kitchen to toss it in the garbage. "You're delusional."
"I can't help it if I'm in high demand." He manspreads, his arms stretched over the back of the couch. "Just shut up. Do you have my pen?" He reaches for the pocket inside his leather jacket, pulling out the slim box.
Already knowing that you were going to use it now, he began to unbox it while you collected the cash you needed. "40 right?" You say handing him the small spread of bills, "Yeah, but for you, I guess I could make it 30." He shrugs conceitedly.
"Because I'm your favourite." You say and he shakes his head, "No. Because I ate your food." Which he paid for but you didn't dare to say that out loud, you were getting cheap weed.
"So who's your favourite then Jungkook?" He hands you the pen, "Listen. I don't climb up the fire escape when I do deliveries for Angelica, I make her come to me. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Trying to tug the pen out of his grasp but he holds it firm until you respond, "I guess I can work with that." He smiles softly, letting you take the first hit as his arm wraps around your shoulder.
The two of you passed the pen back and forth, with little giggles here and there and wide eyes on the episode of SpongeBob that was playing.
By now the dark living room is illuminated by nothing more than your roommate's lava lamp and a strip of purple LEDs' taped behind the TV. You could see the smoke as it floated past the few sources of light.
"Open." He directs, taking a particularly long hit, leaning into you and blowing the pungent smoke into your mouth, sucking it in from his lips.
The pen is now forgotten as it rolls between the cracks of the couch. Straddling Jungkook's muscular thigh as he flexed it every now and then, taking hits from his blueberry Ice vape and blowing it to the ceiling, giving you a prime view of his sharp jaw under the soft purple lighting.
The sight made you shake, gyrating your hips almost desperately as you chased the feeling of friction on his denim-clad thigh. "You like that? You feel good fucking yourself on my thigh?" The question was rhetorical, you were too dazed to answer him anyway.
Your heavy-lidded gaze slowly rolls up to his pretty face once you feel his hand move from your hips to gently wrap around your neck, not applying any pressure, just there to let you feel the weight of his hand. "Answer me," He says, and you fall forward "Yess, feels so good." You moan, and Jungkook has danced this dance with you enough to see you were close.
But of course, he couldn't let you cum so soon, not yet. His hands flew to your hips and pinned you down on his thigh, restricting your range of motion. "Please," You beg and he wishes he had a little more willpower but he couldn't say no to you, not when you looked so fucked out when he's barely touched you.
"Fuck. Take your shirt off." Leaning back and crossing your arms over the base of the shirt, you pried it off your body desperately. Leaving you in your black lacy bra and it pulled out a guttural groan from Jungkook's chest.
"You little whore." he grits through his clenched teeth, grip tightening on the arm of the couch nearly ripping the fabric.
This position was no longer giving him what he so desperately craved. Shrugging the jacket from off his shoulders and taking off the tank top underneath letting your eyes roam over his built upper body, oh how you wanted to just...
Without thinking your tongue striped up the expanse of his bulky pecs. This was new, but Jungkook was so high out of his mind anything and everything you did felt like he was on cloud 9.
Your mouth dropped down to wrap around his rosy nipples and you could've never anticipated the worked-up reaction you got from him. "Oh shit, shit shit." He gasps, hands gripping your waist tight enough that you're sure there will be bruises by the morning.
Letting your tongue lap around his nipples with pure hunger, an inexplicable flame burning in your core as you were finally the one who got to watch the other be reduced to a moaning mess.
His once soft moans turned a little breathy and high-pitched, His hips bucked causing you to jolt in his lap, he was getting close.
"Didn't think you'd like having your tits played with so much?" You tease him but he didn't find the humour in it. He holds you by the throat once more, this time applying a generous amount of pressure, pushing you off him.
Unbuckling his belt and you knew what that meant. He slides out of his pants, followed by the boxers that were the last barrier between your moistened lips and his throbbing cock. "Let's put that smart mouth of yours to good use, yeah?" He hums, watching as you sink to your knees, hand carefully wrapped around his base, starting with slow pumps.
"Spit on it." Doing as told, you let a wad of spit fall from your pretty, plush lips and coat the shaft of his dick, you worked your palm up his length. Already satisfied with the way his head was thrown back.
"Just like that," Reaching for the vape, he takes a few good hits, the head rush mixed with the pleasure had him seeing stars-- the object falling from his hands immediately the moment he felt the warm heat of your mouth wrap around his sensitive tip.
"Y/n-" He breathes out, almost scared, he was so close, too soon. He's never struggled to hold himself back this badly before. What were you doing to him?
The obscene sounds of you choking as you struggled to take all of him in your mouth, letting your nose touch the soft, trimmed hairs near his base. Focusing on breathing through your nose before you felt a heavy hand on the back of your head, pushing you lower.
You were quite literally slobbering on his dick, gagging with every buck of his hips. "That's it, princess. You're doing so well--Shit. Mouth feels like fucking heaven." His praise rushes to your core and has your left hand trailing down to rub yourself through your lace underwear.
The rough friction being more than enough to get you there, "I'm gonna cum, baby. Where-- Shit!-- Where do you want it?" He gasps, his hips snapping, pushing his length down your throat almost erratically. You don't answer, only hollowing your cheeks to take him deeper, making your desires clear.
Your own fingers quickening their pace, your own sounds travelling through his dick in vibrations and pushing him right over the edge with you, filling your mouth with his warm cum.
Swallowing as if it were second nature. "Stick out your tongue," He says softly. His chest rises and falls rapidly as he tries to regain his composure from his overwhelming climax. Your tongue was out and cleared of any of his cum and it made him crazy.
He remembers the first time he'd brought an order to you over 6 months ago. He thought you were nothing more than a cute little philosophy major, never did he think he'd have you beneath him like he does right now.
Looking up at him, daring to give you an almost angelic gaze while the two of you ruined each other. Tainting each other with your own touches. "Kiss me?" You ask it so cutely, tempting him with the pout on your lips. You weren't being fair.
His body didn't give him a choice before his lips were on yours, his hips grinding into yours. The feeling of his solid dick rolling against your skin making the butterflies go ramped in your stomach.
The way you licked over his bottom lip with your own made Jungkook weak, stumbling on his elbows as he held himself up over you. Soft groans could be heard the deeper the kiss became.
Messy and intimate. Your hand crept up the back of his neck to tug at the dark locks of hair on his head. There was a loud pop and the two of you paused.
With Jungkook between your legs and with you under him, your heads turned slowly towards the coffee table where the jar was, dedicated to the fermenting rabbit tail. "What the fuck is that?" Jungkook slowly sits up, "My roommate's boyfriend's weird biology shit. I dunno, it freaks me out too." You sit up, now remembering what the two of you were in the middle of doing.
"That shit's not gonna blow up or anything right." You gently peck him on the lips but his brain seems preoccupied by the jar, "who knows," you say, kissing right under his ear and that seemed to get him to zone in on you.
Catching his bottom lip under his teeth as your kisses became more eager, suckling on a certain spot on his neck, his head falling back against his will. "Fuck, Y/n-- Don't you dare." You pull off his soft skin with a soft pop, admiring the burgundy bruise left behind.
"Oops." Your apology was ingenuine and bratty, and Jungkook hated brats.
Tearing you out of your final pieces of clothing before manhandling you into his lap. "Sit on it." He demands and you follow without question. Moaning out loud as his dick spread your lips apart like butter.
Sliding down with ease and a stretch of your velvety walls that were currently squeezing Jungkook for everything he's got and he's got nothing left, everything was yours.
"I-Shit! You feel so good, Kook!" He couldn't bother to correct you on the annoying nickname you were incessant on using. "Yeah? You like that- fuck, you feel so good." He curses, bucking his hips up into you as you raise your hips trying to match his thrusts.
He was fucking you so good, so ruthlessly, your head falls onto his shoulder and you needed more than just the couch to hold on to, your teeth sank into the muscular meat of his shoulder and his pace faltered.
"Shit shit shit! Do that again." He groans, picking up an inhumane pace that had you bouncing all over the place until he stilled you in his arms. His grunts and breathy moans came out right beside your ear only pushing you to your orgasm faster.
"J-jungkook-!" You pant, unable to speak, feeling like your insides are being rearranged, "Me too, baby. Cum with me." You finish first, and with a few more unsynchronized snaps of his hips, you were being filled to the brim with his cum.
The room is filled with nothing but the sound of muffled music playing from your neighbour's next door and laboured breaths. Jungkook gently lays you down on the couch beside him, staring into your eyes.
This felt so intimate. You felt his gaze deeper than just behind your eyes, it was as if he was looking into your soul. His eyes were tinted red as he looked at you with an adoring gaze. "You're cute." He says it casually as though he hadn't just fucked you.
Your eyes roll before they close, feeling the sleepiness begin to kick in. "Bet you say that to all your customers." Mumbling the words into his chest while he began to grin a little.
"Nope. Only to my favourite." Your eyes shoot open.
"I knew it."
#jungkook#bts#jungkook fic recs#jungkook ff#bts jungkook#jungkook smut#bts one shot#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook
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jungkook fic recs list (part 2) ౨ৎ

hi! i’m back with another list <3 please give so much love to all of these authors! these fics are all +18 so minors dni!!! part 3 coming in a month :)
⭑ part 1
a- angst f- fluff s- smut
series (completed)
with a sense of innocence by @borathae
f2l!au, idiots in love, mutual pining, college!au, neighbours!au (f, s)
A collection of stories about two oblivious idiots trying to do love together
puzzle by @kimvvantae
friends with benefits au; college au (a, s)
you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?
i want you to stay by @ahundredtimesover
boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels (What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim-inspired) (a, f, s)
Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You've dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder
love to hate by @kpopfanfictrash
enemies to lovers, fuck buddies!au (a, f, s)
Born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you've done your best to rid yourself of the taste since you were old enough to walk. Occasionally though, your mother manages to rope you into an obligatory function – or a blind date with playboy billionaire, Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook stands for everything you loathe about the world you left behind, but you can’t deny the spark of attraction between you. Intrigued by the promise of mutual satisfaction, you agree to one night in bed… and quickly realize you’re in far, far deeper than you ever intended.
practice by @chryblossomjjk
fuckboy!jk x inexperienced reader, college au, fwb (a, f, s)
you usually spend friday nights on your own. tonight, however, your friend and campus fuckboy, jungkook, decides to pay you a visit
only for you by @jikookiekosmos
best friend!jungkook/reader (a, f, s)
It’s the night before your wedding and you should be happy…but a fight with your fiancé leaves you second guessing everything. A visit from the blue-haired boy of your dreams is just what you need to make it right
clash by @matchagator
slice of life; neighbors au; e2l (a, f, s)
You're a new resident in your very first apartment excited to enjoy the simple life of adulthood. Unfortunately for you, you continue to run into unruly neighbors no matter how much you try to keep to yourself
series (ongoing)
neighbor blunder by @awrkive
neighbors!au, coworkers!au, software engineer!jk, cto!jk, chaebol!jk vibes, accountant!oc (a, f, s)
in hindsight, you should have seen it coming. had always known your luck – or lack of it, thereof – and the universe's meticulous plan of your downfall made it easy for you to get tangled up in a series of unfortunate events, which presents itself as the neighbor that lives across from you, jeon jungkook
dextrocardia by @jeonstudios
cop!jk x f detective!reader, undercover cops, fake marriage, e2l au (a, f, s?)
“She's been moved to another operation to help out. This pairing is necessary because you'll be undercover as spouses. I know you two can be professional about this.”
"What?!" It's Jeongguk's upset voice that sounds, and for once, you share his displeased opinion.
Spouses.
the alpha omega series by @borathae
alpha!jungkook x f. omega!reader, werewolves!au, childhood best friends to enemies to lovers!AU (a, f, s)
Jungkook is the son of the pack Alpha and therefore heir of the titel. You are an omega and utterly out of his league. This is the story of how, against all odds, you and he became true mates
oneshots
elemental by @kpopfanfictrash
second chance romance; modern fantasy (a, f, s)
Fear has never been a foreign concept to you. Your entire life has been shaped by the knowledge that you’re different, and fear of the stigma which might follow discovery. Although fire, earth, air and water Elementals have been public for decades, the fear-mongering around your kind hasn’t changed; something you have intimate knowledge of, having experienced it firsthand. Since then, you’ve done your best to hide your water powers. This is for your own safety, as your mom likes to say.Safety flies out the window though, when you fall in love. Jeon Jungkook isn’t just any love, either, he’s the love. The person who makes you feel as though your darkest corners deserve to be seen. Unable to control your magic around him, you find yourself faced with a horrible fact: you need to break up.A plan which proves difficult when Jungkook simply refuses to go. And maybe, just maybe, you find the constraints placed on yourself don’t make sense anymore
meraki by @taegularities
e2l, grumpy!jk (+ photographer!jk) x sunshine!reader (f, s)
Jungkook finds you irritating; far too energetic and insistent. But his perception of you changes bit by bit, minute by minute, when he's persuaded into spending an entire night with you at places he doesn't know
cold nights and blurred lines by @awrkive
fwb!au, college!au, basketball player!jk, kinda secret relationship(?)!au (a, f, s)
jungkook and you have been in a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. but as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? it definitely is. will you do something about it? both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes
it was always you by @hueseok
brother’s best friend au, childhood friends to lovers au; ft. naval aviator!jk, professor!reader (a, f, s)
for as long as you remember, you’ve always had the fattest crush on your childhood friend, jeon jungkook. it never blossomed into something more though, because that’s what happens when life naturally takes it course—you grow up, you move on, and you pretend that those feelings never existed in order to maintain the good friendship that remained between the two of you over the years. so when he visits you after work one day, asking you to marry him, you do everything you can to refuse, because the reason he’s asking you isn’t due to the fact that he finally realized that he loved you after all this time, but because he thinks he’s doing you a big favor. or at least, that’s what you think
on mute by @yoon-kooks
fuckboy!gamer!jjk x reader, friends to lovers, office!au, coworker!au (f, s)
You always assumed your handsome coworker was down to fuck anyone in the office except for you. He always assumed you weren’t interested in a guy like him. And both of you were content with never admitting your feelings… until he unknowingly confides in you in the realms of a certain tactical FPS game
#jungkook fic#jungkook fic recs#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook recs#jungkook x reader#jungkook#bts fic#bts fic recs#alexia’s favs
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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!jk (14) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ *nsfw*
series m.list // taglist request closed
note: car sex; riding, doggy, hair pulling, ass slapping, spitting, choking, fingering, and blowjob. dirty talk; daddy kink, bitch/cockslut, etc... the vibes yk?
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo
//
opening the door, your eyes light up at the sight of your visitor.
"eomma, you're early! come in, come in! didn’t jungkook pick you up? where is he?”
jungkook's mom laughs, pulling you in a hug. she sways you back and forth and pats your back.
“he’s parking the car, sweetie.”
when she pulls away, she greets zion. excited, zion cheers at the sight of his grandma. he bounces on your hips, leaning forward for you to pass him to her.. jungkook's mom takes him.
ushering her inside, you bend over and place slippers for her. she steps into them as you bombard her with more questions. "how are you? i thought abeoji was babysitting with you tonight? where is he? and… oh my goodness! is this the blouse i got you?”
"yes, it is! you’re right… the colour suits my completion well.” she does a little twirl, showcasing her outfit.
“so cute! very demure!”
snickering, she answers the rest of your questions. “oh, you know your abeoji… he's coming! he went to play golf... of course..." pausing, she looks around your home and sighs. "did you clean again? you don't have to do that, remember? i don't mind helping when i come over! you're so busy, it's not good to overwork. if i check your fridge, will the side dishes i made for you be empty or still full? because i brought more—"
"eomma..."
"it's just side dishes!" she glances to the side, cueing in jungkook to enter in with three bags filled of food. “… maybe 3-5 main dishes too…”
you gasp. "that's too much!"
"yah!" she hisses. pointing at you and jungkook, she makes her claims. “you need to eat more and this one eats 3 times more than you... i would know. i fed him every day and lost so much money—"
"love you too, eomma." jungkook mutters, placing the bags on the kitchen island.
you roll your eyes as he immediately comes over to you, slipping his arms around your waist and greeting you with a kiss on the cheek. then, he makes a kissy face at zion. zion sticks his tongue out at him. jungkook laughs.
"hi," jungkook says softly, tilting his face to see you.
"hi," you reply with the same gentleness, mimicking his headtilt. “you left early this morning… where’d you go?”
“car appointment.”
“oil change?” you ask. jungkook opens his mouth to answer but is interrupted by your son’s excitement.
"hi everyone!" zion squeals, wanting to feel included. “halmeoni, do you see that? mama and dada are married. they love each other!"
jungkook's mom laughs while your eyes widen. feeling your embarrassment, jungkook clears his throat. the air feels awfully thin.
"have you eaten, honey? we can eat a bit here and then bring some dishes for the party." jungkook suggests.
you nod. "i fed zion but haven't eaten myself."
"you need to eat," he frowns. "don't just feed our son. eat too."
"i will," you smile. "eomma, did you make my favourite?"
she gives you an offended look.
"yah, ___... how old do you think i am? i'm not at the age where i forget just anything... of course i made your favourite! i made 3 tubs worth of it! i also added perilla leaves."
you break away from jungkook and hug his mom. you squeeze her tight, causing zion to squirm. "you're the best! i want to be born as your daughter in my next life."
she giggles at your affection. with a teasing tone, she not-so-whispers into your ear; "marry my son soon, okay? so you can be my daughter in this life."
pulling away, you pout at her.
"if i marry your son will you stop nagging me to eat more?"
"marry him first and find out."
completely shocked by her playfulness, jungkook bursts out laughing. before you can respond, he grabs your hand and drags you to the kitchen area. sitting you down at a countertop chair, he places a plate in front of you and begins to unpack the food. his mom moves to the livingroom and sets zion down with his blocks. together, they begin to play and sing.
by the time you pay attention to jungkook, you realize he already fixed you a plate.
"this is too much food."
"shut up," he chuckles, reaching over to tuck your hair behind your ears. "just eat."
rolling your eyes, you pick up your chopsticks and reach for the perilla leaves. struggling to peel them apart, jungkook picks up a pair of chopsticks and helps you peel them. when you get a piece, you thank him and begin to eat.
"the guys are excited to see you again."
in between chews, you snicker at him. "i can't believe they're throwing a good riddance party for yoongi."
jungkook blows air out of his cheeks and sighs. "i can. i literally had to keep one eye open at night because of that guy."
"cos i think he's hot?"
"cos he also thinks you're hot. which... he's not wrong."
"jealous?"
"always."
"how come it's cute on you but scary when it's me?" you pout. "you always complain about that... it can't be true, right? isn't it hot when i'm jealous?"
jungkook shakes his head. "fuck no. i fear for my life. truly."
"liar," you snort.
"i let pia go. i'm looking for a male assistant... i have interviews lined up for next week," jungkook admits. "and it wasn't fully because of you... she was chill and all but definitely spent too much time flirting with jaehyun. distracted him from working, always came in a little late, and still would get my coffee wrong."
"jaehyun's cute!" you admire. “did he ask her out?"
"jealous?"
"always."
"not funny," he warns you. "i'm already enemies with nam joon and you joking about yoongi keeps me on my toes.”
furrowing your eyebrows at him, you tease; "stay on your toes then.”
jungkook makes a face at you before taking his chopsticks and shoving another perilla leaf in your mouth.
"eat up," he hisses. "you're gonna need the energy for all the making up to me you’ll have to do later if you keep pissing me off."
after dinner, you quickly get ready and head out with jungkook. kissing zion goodbye, you also let jungkook's mom know you left a gift bag of skincare in zion's room for her. she tells you you're too much and you tell her it's nothing. then, she's pushing you out the door and telling you guys not to come home.
walking to the car, you notice jungkook takes out a different set of keys. then, a different car beeps and you turn your head to it. jungkook walks forward and then opens the car door for you.
"w-what's this?" you ask, eyes glowing. "was this your car appointment? did you seriously buy a new audi? is this the q7? shit... honey, your model isn't even old—"
"just get in."
you glare at him. "rude."
"please."
“better.”
exchanging nose scrunches, you get in the car. sitting down, he bends inside and buckles your seatbelt. as he pulls out, he sneaks a kiss on your lips. you laugh at his quickness.
moments later, he joins you inside. settling into the drivers seat, he starts the engine. he buckles his seatbelt and begins to drive. suddenly, music begins to play. moments later, he joins you inside. settling into the driver's seat, he starts the engine. he buckles his seatbelt and begins to drive. suddenly, music begins to play.
…
i, i hear the whispers in your eyes...
i'll make you wanna think twice.
you'll find that you were never not mine—
you're mine.
i can feel it comin', hummin' in the way you move...
push the reset button, we're becoming something new—
say you got somebody, i'll say, "i got someone too"
—even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you...
you turn your head at jungkook and glare at him.
"seriously?"
"whoops?" he acts dumb. "is it a crime to listen to taylor swift?"
you fight the urge to roll your eyes and give him attitude. “no.. the song itself just seems perfectly timed..." you accuse him. he shrugs and takes the hit. "you tryna tell me something?"
"yeah," he says, stopping at a red light.
"really? what is it?"
"this car is yours."
you blink.
"what?"
"what do you mean what? honey, you wanna pay for zion's daycare? fine. i pay for this car. your car." jungkook states with no room for argument.
in disbelief, you open your mouth to say something. anything! truly, this is absurd! daycare bills are nothing compared to a new car—
"you've been driving the same car since before law school. no, it's not broken. no, it's not old... but it's also not what you deserve. you don't want my help paying for zion's daycare bills? fine. so be it. i don't want your help paying for this car."
"jungkook—"
"just say thank you," he pleads, placing his hand on your thigh. the light turns green, and he drives. "i showed it to your dad already. he approved it and even went on a test drive. my mom rode in it today when i picked her up. everyone knows about the car but for you so do me a favour and don't embarrass me by not accepting it."
"it's too much—"
"you're the mother of my child and love of my life," he huffs. "i'll never be able to repay you for that."
you sink into your seat. truly, this is too much. it's not like you needed a new car either! but wow... he's just... too good to you.
"jungkook..."
fully prepared for your reaction, jungkook is quick to make a suggestion. "awh, if you're really thankful... just suck my dick or something—"
"jungkook!"
he chuckles and squeezes your thigh. "come on, mama. it's been a hot minute... haven't fucked in a few weeks. i love sleeping next to you and zion but it would be nice to wake up with my cock in your mouth."
"do you wanna?" you sit up, mood bright and ready. "pull over."
he laughs and wiggles his finger at you.
"we haven't even sat in this car for 20 minutes and you already wanna fuck in the back seats? thankful much?" jungkook blurts.
you huff. "i don't even know how to say thank you. it doesn't feel like it's enough... but thank you, jungkook... for everything."
jungkook shrugs, as if buying you a whole ass new audi isn't a big deal. bringing your hand to his lips, he kisses them.
"you love me," he reminds you. "that's enough."
as expected, the boys try to steal you from jungkook the minute you arrive.
"it's been too long!" jimin cries, poking your sides.
taehyung joins in and aims for your underarm. "who gives a fuck if you're a lawyer. big whoop! we have plans on suing you for never showing up to our events."
you laugh and hide behind jungkook.
"yah! it's hard doing it all," you flip your hair at them. "you try being a mom, a lawyer, and—oh my god! yoongi?"
like a scene from a movie, your friends part for him. yoongi laughs as you rush into his arms and hug him.
"isn't this your good riddance party?" you ask, shocked that he's here.
yoongi sighs. "she dumped me."
"you're joking..." you gasp, clueless and a little angry. "w-what happened?"
yoongi lets you go and greets jungkook with a hug as well. jungkook pats his back and then pulls away. like glue, jungkook shifts and sticks to you. you lean against him and guide his arms to wrap around you.
"to be honest.. we were having issues before i flew there. she freaked out and didn't even bother showing up at the airport. i booked a return flight and gave up fighting for her... it's been—what?” yoongi pauses and gathers his thoughts. “a week? i don't know. i just wish she told me where her head was at before i packed up my shit and quit my job." yoongi laughs, trying to lighten the mood. "this is technically still a good riddance party... good riddance to her."
you pout at him, hating the position he's in. it's so shitty. who treats someone like that? you don't know much about his girlfriend—ex-girlfriend—but everything you did know about her was all good... but life is like that, isn't it? people let you down and turn into something completely different.
it's times like these when you're thankful to have jungkook. the dating pool these days is a nightmare.
"you quit your job? i thought they allowed you to do remote?" jungkook asks, eyebrows knit together.
"they considered it... but didn't go through with it. it's fine... i've been wanting to change things up anyway," yoongi insists. "aside from that... i moved in with jin and told the people subletting my condo that they could stay for 6 months."
jungkook sighs. "well... if you need a job asap, i'm looking for an assistant. it's yours if you want it. i won't even boss you around that much—"
"don't you already have one?"
you raise a brow. "the pretty one?"
yoongi's eyes shake.
"oh," yoongi connects. "i get it. yeah, sure. thanks jungkook. i'll take it for now and get searching for a new job soon. i can start next week.”
"there's no rush," jungkook ensures yoongi. "take the job and keep it for as long as you need."
yoongi nods and thanks jungkook. you share a look with yoongi and sigh.
"are you okay?" you ask yoongi. suddenly, you feel jungkook kiss your shoulder. jungkook then excuses himself to give you and yoongi time to talk. you didn't realize until now that everyone dispersed to their own conversations. jin, jimin, and hoseok were in the kitchen while taehyung and jungkook began to play games on the ps5.
moving closer to you, yoongi shrugs.
"am i supposed to be? i wanted to marry her."
for some reason, yoongi's words strike you. it was one thing to see the pain in his eyes and feel it in the way his words came out of his mouth; it was another to remember jungkook.
you wonder what he said to the guys when you broke up with him.
... that's enough to need a shot or two.
“are you okay?”
you nod. “yeah. took a vacation leave from work for a week to reset… asked for less intense cases and been trying harder in balancing the work-life stuff. it’s been better—“
“no, like.. are you okay?” he repeats. “like… you’re not throwing up anymore, right? and your mood swings? post partum still a bitch?”
“i’ve been doing okay,” you tell him. “i have a session soon… i’ll probably get reassessed and talk about things.”
yoongi smiles. “things like… you and jungkook?”
“yeah.”
he clears his throat.
"you know… it’s really nice to see you two together again," yoongi admits. "if there's one good thing that came out of all of this shit it's seeing you guys happier."
you blink at him.
"no," you stop him. "you can't be going through this huge heartbreak and turn this into a lesson for me. come on, yoongi! nothing's changed," you lie. "we're still broken up."
yoongi groans at your answer. "are lawyers always defensive or is that just a personality trait of yours?"
"both," you play along. "but seriously... we're still broken up. i guess things are... unfolding and going well... but—"
"it's not your fault, you know?" yoongi interrupts you. "he doesn't blame you for any of it either. no one does. so take your time and avoid it all you want—but he's gonna get you back."
your gaze softens, touched by his words. for the first time in a while, you let your guard down.
"you think so?"
"i know so."
by 11pm, more people arrived and took over the living room.
yoongi is re-explaining his situation to a crowd of friends. jimin and taehyung have started a karaoke competition, while jin and hoseok ran around filling everyone's cups with more alcohol. jungkook spent some time catching up with friends, while you gossip with the girlies.
then, your eyes meet jungkook's.
across the room, he bites his bottom lip and nods towards jin's bedroom. you know that signal too well.
excusing yourself from the conversation, you and jungkook slip your way through the party. fingertips brushing, jungkook's heart races when you lace your fingers with his and guide him inside jin's bedroom.
as he shuts the door behind you, your lips crash into his the moment he turns. kissing you back, he cups your cheeks with the palm of his hand.
"forgot you have an exhibition kink," you murmur against his lips. he bites your bottom lip and groans.
"i do not."
"yeah?" you challenge. "remember when you fingered me during your company's christmas dinner?"
"you wore stockings," he cries. "wanted to rip them. duh."
"that literally makes no sense—“
"who fucking cares? you let me finger you. you were into it too." he growls.
“never said i wasn’t.”
jungkook sneers, “holy fuck, can we please go home? i'm have no more social energy and only want to be with you."
you pull away and fix his hair. you watch the way his eyes soften as he looks into yours.
"leaving a party at 11pm is kinda lame though.. we're not that old." you chide. though, you wouldn't mind going home either. "... should we though? should we leave?"
jungkook nods, kissing you again. "can we have sex?"
you laugh against the kiss and pull away. pinching his cheeks, you drag your thumb across his bottom lip.
"yeah, we can have sex. wanna see how much space my car has?" you flirt.
earning a smile from jungkook, he tilts his head at you.
"your car?"
"my car," you repeat with a prideful tone. "it's pretty cool... newest model. my baby daddy bought it for me. it's an audi though, so it gives fuckboy vibes."
jungkook chuckles. "oh? is your baby daddy a fuckboy? yikes... is he at least hot?"
"kinda."
"kinda? wow. if you hate him, just say so."
"hate him?" you gasp. "i love him... gonna marry him one day."
he doesn't know what it is.
maybe it's the 5 shots you downed.
maybe it's simply the truth.
one thing's for sure; jungkook's heart has never skipped a beat that fast before.
sneaking out of the party was easy.
receiving the texts and calls was not. everyone was blowing up your and jungkook's phone, annoyed and disappointed you two left without saying goodbye (even though doing so would completely backfire). truth be told, you two didn't say goodbye because it you two would have been taken hostage. it would've been impossible to escape.
besides, you two prefer it like this.
just you two.
jungkook parked outside his place. the led lights are on in the car and the music is turned down. it's just enough to fill the space, but the true music to his ears are your moans.
in the backseat, jungkook sits with his legs planted on the floor. his pants pool around his ankles while his shirt is thrown to the front seat. his dick is out and your dress is scrunched up to your stomach. you're on top of him, grinding against his thick cock. the top part of your dress is pushed down to your stomach too, leaving jungkook in disbelief. he's so lucky to be this close to you. this view... is mesmerizing.
your breasts bounce so pretty at him. he can't help but dig his face in between them. you giggle, feeling how ticklish his features are against your breasts.
"t-that tickles!" you squirm, grabbing a fist full of his hair and pulling him away. "kiss me or something."
he chuckles but does as you request. stretching his neck, he kisses you slowly and surely. he takes his time, exploring your mouth and sucking on your tongue. you can't help but let out a whimpering moan as he kisses you so good; you're taken by surprise when he slips his cock inside you.
"m-mhmm," you moan. "so good. love your fat cock so much."
jungkook smirks. "dirty talk? really?"
"why not?"
"you're that level of horny?"
"what level is this?"
you hold on to his biceps and bounce hard. your eyebrows furrow and your lips part ever so slightly at the sudden burn in between your legs. it feels so good to fuck him like this. the sound of your ass slapping against his thighs makes this so much more lewd. you continue to bounce as jungkook throws his head back from the pleasure. quickening your tempo, you feel his dick rise even more inside you.
"h-holy shit," you cry, holding onto his biceps even tighter. trying your best to stabilize yourself, you wrap yourself around him. then, you do the only logical thing: whine for help. "jungkook, fuck me… please!”
jungkook wastes no time. he places both his hands on your ass, helping you hold your position. he then leans back and gets into it.
oh, he gets fucking into it.
jungkook begins to drill his hard cock into you. you feel your hole stretch from the friction. you also feel yourself dripping against him. the sound of your liquids smacking against skin arouses you even more. jungkook fucks you, completely disregarding what you can and can't take. he fucks you like it's a lesson.
as you whimper and give out on the position, you put your weight down and sit on him. he slowly and gently continues to thrust inside you. you rest your forehead against his shoulder blade and let out a tired laugh.
"doggy?" you pitch, out of breath.
jungkook lets out an airy laugh but agrees.
sweaty, sticky, and messy; you two switch positions. jungkook shifts towards the corner, allowing you to angle your body diagonally. you lean against the passenger seat, holding it for stability. jungkook kneels, sliding himself back inside you. his hands are on your waist as he begins to thrust in and out.
jungkook has always admired you ass. god truly took his time creating you. it's honestly his favourite feature about you... aside from your boobs, eyes, lips, legs, waist.... okay. fine. he loves it all.
he loves all of you.
you love all of him too... from his tattoos to the way his facial expression changes with every slight touch... it's too good.
not to mention his dick hits all the spots. you feel him play with your pussy, sneaking a hand underneath and in between your folds. you moan at the sensation and feel yourself begin to pound more and more inside of you. out of nowhere, he pinches your clit and you yelp.
suddenly, he grabs your hair and pulls it. the tug sends your head to go back. you bite your lip from the rush.
"you like that, mama? you like having your hair pulled and me fucking you like a little bitch?" jungkook hisses. "such a fucking freak... wanting to fuck in this car? i bought it for you to ride in, not ride me in."
you cry, "needed your cock so bad, daddy."
"you're daddy's little bitch, aren't you?" he slaps your ass. "say it, baby. say you're my bitch."
he slaps your ass again.
you hiss at the tingle but also can't help but wish for more. maybe he heard you because he slaps you for the third time before thrusting himself deeper.
god, he's so big.
like seriously... he's so fucking big! you swear you can feel him in your guts.
"i'm your little bitch," you sob. "f-fuck, daddy... you're so big. always so big for me. biggest fucking cock in the world, o-oh my god. it's for me, right? only for me?"
jungkook moans in response.
"is my pussy tight enough for this massive fucking cock? am i taking you in well? like a good girl? i'm good, right? you like the way i bounced on your hard cock? feel it in my guts... g-god, you feel so fucking good! i'm losing m-my goddamn mind, daddy... you make me f-feel so good... d-daddy, do i make you feel good?"
jungkook stays silent, trying to process your words.
with a whiney tone, you call for him; "daddy?"
"shut up."
he gulps, gripping your hair tighter. tugging it more, he moves closer to your face. swirling his saliva in his mouth, he spits on your face.
"what do you say?"
"thank you, daddy!" you lick your lips, getting a bit of his spit. jungkook lets go of your hair and cups your jaw with his hand. he squishes your lips together and kisses them. you kiss him back and pull away. giggling, he licks your lips and asks you to open up. doing so, he spits into your mouth.
you swallow.
he grins.
"daddy's little bitch is such a good girl... fuck, ___. you take me in so good. good job, honey. so proud of you."
then, his hand moves from your jaw to your neck. you shut your eyes, feeling the way his thrusts speed up but lower in intensity. losing yourself to the feeling of pleasure, jungkook adds pressure to his hold on your neck. you feel your throat tighten as he continues to fuck you.
he's never choked you. you've asked him once or twice, but he refused because he didn't wanna be rough on you like that. guess tonight is different... tonight, he fucks you rough and sloppy.
yet, the second you let out a small cough, jungkook lets go of your neck entirely. he immediately leans over and kisses it. you softly laugh at his kisses and hum;
“i’m okay, honey. it felt good."
“you sure? love you.”
“mhm… love you too—“
without warning, he pulls out and takes a seat. he grabs you buy the hips and gets you to sit in between his legs. he parts yours and places his fingers inside you.
you moan, throwing your head back. jungkook kisses the top of your head as he plays with your precious pussy. he fingers you for a good 5 minutes, your legs shake and your chest feels like it’s going to explode because of how fast your heart is racing. then suddenly—
"a-ahh, f-fuck!"
you cum.
the minute you do so, jungkook slaps your pussy and brings his fingers to his mouth. he sucks on them, tasting you.
you pant and attempt to catch your breath as much as you can. the new car smell is completely gone by now. the car smells of sweat and sex... iconic of you two, honestly.
after a few moments of silence and self-composing, you squish yourself between the seats and jungkook's legs. you take his half-erected dick and shove it inside your mouth.
his cock is huge.
(oversaid? yes. downplaying? absolutely not!)
it fills up your entire mouth and you struggle to get to the base. jungkook helps you, pushing your head deeper. as you gag, he holds you still.
"that's fucking right, honey. choke on my fucking cock like the cockslut you are... m-mhmm, y-yeah," he moans, throwing his head back. he lets go of you, letting you to suck him dry.
you bob your head, dragging your tongue around his length. it's veiny and so angry. the tip practically pulsates at you. you spit on it and rub your thumb across it. jungkook hisses at the touch and you kiss it to make him feel some type of way.
“this what you wanted, right? my cock in your fucking mouth this like this? god, if you could see yourself so full of me… fucking beautiful, baby. the prettiest woman in this entire world has my fat cock in her mouth.” jungkook praises you, doing his best to fight the urge of rolling his lips and fucking your face.
thankfully, he succeeds and lets you do your thing. sucking his dick, jungkook doesn't last too long. his breathing turns heavy and he begins to squirm in his seat. pulling his cock out of your mouth, you jerk him off against your face. jungkook watches as you leave your tongue out.
at the sight, he cums and spills himself all over your face.
his cum splatters and you lick his tip. jungkook laughs and pulls his dick out of your mouth. he tilts your chin and meets your lips with his.
he kisses you, losing his breath even more.
but it didn't matter.
you're his air.
when the morning comes, you wake up to the smell of coffee.
jungkook crawls back into bed with you. he tangles his body with yours. you let out a sleepy laugh when he reaches under your shirt and feels for your boobs. holding him close, he murmurs against your skin;
"want some coffee?"
"sure," you say. "i miss coffee."
#bts smut#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook smau#jungkook fanfic#jungkook exes to lovers#jungkook dilf#bts daddy au#bts fanfic
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you're losing me 03 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 5k
genre: angst, married couple, age gap, ceo jk, nepo baby oc, second chance romance
rating: 18+
warnings: oral (f receiving), nipple play, fingering, spit kink 👉🏼👈🏼, oc is horny for her man 😋☝️, dirty talk, implied shower sex!! teasing, her dad is a meanie </3, but jk lowkey too :') ... but he's saur sweet as well 🥺 ugh!!, jk's niece yumi is the cutest ever <3, oc feeling sad/lonely/neglected/not loved enough, u know just the usual :')
summary: probing questions and rising tensions cloud the family dinner.
a/n: she posted !!!! 🫢 are u proud of me !! 🫂
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
Something tickles your back.
You roll over on your side, mumbling incoherent words.
“Hey,” Jungkook whispers. “You’re having a bad dream?”
You nod against the pillow. You don’t remember much now that you’re awake, but the dream left you feeling upset.
He pulls your body to his, keeping a safe arm around you.
“You’re okay now?” His knuckles trace softly over your cheek.
Fluttering your eyes open, you turn your head to him. “What time is it?”
“Just past six.” Jungkook pulls up the strap of your lacy nightgown. “Gotta get up for work soon.”
“No.” You hug his chest. “They won’t care if you go in a little later.”
A faint smile curves his mouth. “But I care,” he says. “The company doesn’t work without me.”
You frown and dig your pointer finger to your chest. “Me too.”
Jungkook catches your finger and intertwines his hand with yours. “I’ll be back early today,” he promises.
And while you’d usually be excited about it, you’re a bit frustrated that he’s only promising it because you’re having a family dinner at your place this evening.
“Dad would be upset if you show up late.”
“I know. He’s been watching my every step these days.”
Your dad once trusted Jungkook without question, but now he seems to be keeping a closer eye on him. You remember the day you told your dad about dating Jungkook. His expression had softened, a rare sign of pride. Though you knew it wasn’t because he was happy his daughter found a loving partner. Still, you tried to absorb any positive attention from him, recognizing that his approval was more about how the relationship could benefit him.
Your father has always been more interested in what you create or gain and how it can serve his interests.
“Is he upset with you?” you ask. Brows furrowing as you think about your own question.
“Not yet. But he’s still eager for a partnership between our companies and wants to launch a joint venture.”
You pull a face, groan a little. “Don’t tell me more. I don’t want any knowledge of this, so my father can use me to get what he wants from you.”
“He shouldn’t dare.” A stern look crosses his face. “I won’t let him drag you into it.”
But just because you’re curious and way too nosy, you ask one more question. “What do you have that he does not?”
“I have more connections than he does,” Jungkook says. One corner of his mouth slightly pulling upward. “Your father can be ruthless, but people like working with me. I’m way nicer than he is.”
“You are?” you question with a teasing lilt to your voice. You drag your finger across his chest. “Then be nice and spend some time with me before you go to work.” Your finger travels down his abs, stops at his boxer briefs. An amused smile blooms on his face as he watches you innocently bat your eyelashes at him.
With a playful grin, unable to resist you, he leans in closer. His hands find your waist. As your back sinks into the plush mattress underneath, you feel his weight pressing against you. His lips capture yours in a deep, lingering kiss, and you can feel the heat between you both rising.
He pushes your silky nightgown up your tummy, continuing his kisses on your neck to your chest and then your ribs and your belly button. Little, satisfied moans leave your mouth.
“Spread your legs for me,” he whispers against your skin. With his hands on your thighs, he gets comfortable on his tummy.
“I didn’t even get to tell you about the exciting new offer I got yesterday.”
“Tell me, love,” he says softly, continuing to peck your exposed skin. His breath tickles your thigh.
“Dasom called and told me Calvin Klein wants me as an ambassador,” you explain. The same joy floods your tummy as when your manager told you about the news, but maybe it’s Jungkook’s mouth teasing you on your inner thighs.
“That’s exciting.” His thumb rubs over your ribs in appreciation. “You’ve been wanting to work with them for so long.”
“I know! But you know what’s even more fun?” Your voice drowns in excitement, eyes sparking with enthusiasm as you look down at Jungkook between your legs.
He licks a stripe up your clothed pussy. Your inhale shakily.
“Jungkook.” You tug at his hair to make him look at you. “Are you listening?”
“I am listening.” He keeps looking at you while he tugs your panties to the side. “Go on,” he tells you, sucking on your clit right after.
Your back arches. A surprised moan bubbles from your throat.
“They- they want us two to do a shoot together,” you utter between heavy breaths. “Said it would be great for their new campaign. They love our chemistry."
“Yeah?” Jungkook’s eyes lock onto yours, and you suddenly find it hard to hold his gaze, your fingers fidgeting with the sheets between you.
“They thought about an underwear shoot, but we could do whatever we’re comfortable with.” Your tummy clenches when Jungkook adds two fingers. “They just- Jungkook, fuck.” He curls his fingers and grazes your sweet spot, pleasure jolting throughout your entire body. “They just really want us both for their campaign.”
Your fingers tug at his messy hair, hips moving against his face.
“What do – what do you think?” You bite your lip. Just a little bit more and you’re cumming.
His mouth leaves your clit. You whine at the loss. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, love.”
“You’d be okay with it?”
“Yeah.” He gives your pussy little kisses, trailing upwards to give your tummy a few too.
You impatiently push his head back between your legs. “Please, finish what you started.”
Jungkook hums in satisfaction. “So well behaved. That’s my good girl.” His tongue glides over your clit while his fingers move at a languid pace.
“Remember the perfume ad?” you ask, eyes slowly closing as he continues to torture your swollen nub with his tongue. “They only saw your back in the video and loved it so much. They’ll... they’ll die seeing this campaign.”
His left hand travels up your body, vanishing underneath the soft fabric that just barely covers your chest. “Do you have a date?” he asks, mouth full. He makes you feel dizzy.
“No-uh – oh.” You gasp when he pinches your pebbled nipple. “Not soon, though. Sometime next year, I think.”
“Sounds good.” His fingers are deep inside you. Wet noises fill the room and you want to cum so badly.
“Faster, please.” Your pussy clenches around his fingers, heat spreading over your entire body.
Jungkook looks so hot between your thighs. Eating you out with his skilled mouth, his cheeks flush a dusty pink as he watches your gentle reactions through his still sleep-laden eyes
“Jungkook.” The creases around his eyes soften when he hears you moan his name in a meek, lewd way. He can feel you being so close to coming undone, and he’s eager to see you writhe for him, make a little mess.
“Gonna cum for me, love?” The way he asks is so sweet that you nod eagerly You don’t ever deny him anything, wanting nothing more than to be good for him.
“Uh-huh,” you manage to slip between breathy moans. “Wanna cum for you.”
When the pleasure finally hits its peak and you’re so full with it, your thighs begin to tremble around his face and your head sinks into the pillow. Jungkook’s tongue continues to swipe over your sensitive clit and you whimper, pushing him away.
“Felt so good, didn’t it?” He withdraws his fingers from your clenching walls and runs his thumb over your wet, creamy pussy. He licks them clean and you swallow. He’s so irresistibly attractive it leaves you feeling light-headed.
Rising from his spot between your legs, he holds your face. His fingers dig into your cheeks. “Open your mouth.” When you do, he spits in your mouth and you swallow the mixture of your arousal combined with his spit.
“So good,” he murmurs, patting your head. “I’ll go take a shower.”
You throw your arms around his little waist. “No, stay a little more.”
“I have to leave soon, love.”
His semi is poking your tummy through his briefs and you wriggle around a little just to show him what he’s missing out on.
He buries his head in the crook of your neck, sighing deeply. “Join me in the shower?”
You giggle, tugging at his hair to kiss him on the lips. “Fine.”
As he walks towards the bathroom, you take a moment to sit on the edge of the bed, your nightgown falling back over your body, feeling the lingering warmth of his body. You hear the sound of the shower turning on, and the steam starts to drift out into the bedroom.
Before joining him, you decide to select today’s perfumes for the both of you. You pause in front of the vanity, eyeing your collection with a silly excitement.
Chanel Chance Eau Tendre? Delightful and light, but not today. Marc Jacobs Daisy? Sweet and floral. Maison Francis Kurkdijan Baccarat Rouge 540? A favourite, but it doesn’t feel right for the moment. Gucci Bloom? Tempting with its fresh notes.
Finally, you settle on Dior J’adore – you’re just obsessed with Dior scents.
Moving along the row of Jungkook’s fragrances, your finger dances over each bottle, contemplating.
Creed Aventus? A bit too fruity. Tom Ford Oud Wood? Very exotic. Dior Sauvage? Immediate skip. Bleu de Chanel? Elegant but maybe another day.
You pause at Tom Ford Amber Absolute. That exotic scent – ugh, you’ve never liked it at all. Jungkook used to wear it occasionally until he noticed your distaste and stopped.
At last, your finger lands on Yves Saint Laurent La Nuit de l’Homme. You love the cedarwood and vetiver smell in this one. Perfect.
With a satisfied smile, you set the chosen bottles on the counter.
“Love?” Jungkook calls from the bathroom.
“’m coming!”
~
You’ve successfully avoided your father all evening, managing to stay out of his way whenever possible.
You know he’s itching to discuss the incident from a few weeks ago when you were seen at your gynaecologist. He loves prying into your life and demanding answers, a way of “checking up” on his youngest daughter that feels more intrusive than caring.
So, as he’s deep in conversation with Jungkook’s brother and dad, you seize the opportunity to slip out of the living room. You're in search of Jungkook, who left a few minutes ago, and you could really use his comforting presence.
As you move quietly through the house, you hear voices coming from the dining room. You pause at the doorway and catch Jungkook’s mum ask in a hushed tone, “Is the same happening as with Eunji?”
“No. Everything is fine,” Jungkook reassures her.
“I don’t want to witness something similar again,” she expresses, clearly distressed.
Jungkook’s soothing voice replies, “There is nothing for you to worry. I promise.”
Your tummy knots with unease.
You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but the mention of Jungkook’s ex-wife only heightens your discomfort.
You’re desperate to know why his mother is mentioned Eunji and what the conversation is about, but you decide to ask Jungkook later, in a subtle manner.
With your eyes fixated to the floor and thoughts muddled, you enter the kitchen. Sunhee, the chef who has been part of your family since you were little, is preparing dinner for you tonight.
“Who was the cause of that sad face, my dear?” Sunhee asks, worry crinkling her forehead while she puts the food on the plates.
“I’m not sad,” you deny, leaning against the counter. “Not yet, at least.”
“Why are you anticipating becoming sad? That’s not a good thing to do,” Sunhee says, shaking her head in disapproval. “Who are you hiding from?”
She knows you so well. Ever since Sunhee became your family’s chef, it’s been your habit to hide in the kitchen when the atmosphere at home became too overwhelming for you. When your father was angry or your parents argued, you’d slip into the kitchen, and Sunhee would lift you onto the counter to watch her cook.
You used to just hide in your room, but you found that life was easier to bear when you didn’t have to carry all the sadness alone. When you were ready to face the world again, Sunhee would slip sweets into your hands. You mum hated treats before dinner and never allowed them, so this became your little secret with Sunhee.
It might seem trivial, but those moments meant the world to you when you were a little girl.
“My dad,” you huff. “He’s been unbearable since...the pictures.”
Sunhee gives you a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry to hear that, dear. I know how tiring his behaviour can be.”
“He’s like someone straight out of the gossip rags.”
Sunhee chuckles softly. “He does have a flair for drama, doesn’t he? But you shouldn’t let it get to you. You’ve always been good at handling him.”
“It’s just exhausting.”
She pats your hand gently. “Don’t let him bring you down. Remember, this kitchen is your sanctuary.” The little anxious ball in your tummy fades with each comforting word Sunhee speaks. “Dinner will be ready shortly. You can sit down in the dining room. I’ll let everyone know.”
“I’ll do that for you,” you offer, and leave the kitchen.
Heading to the living room, you announce, “Dinner’s ready.”
“Have you seen Yumi?” Jungkook’s brother asks, referring to his four-year-old daughter.
“It’s been a while since I’ve last seen her,” you answer and he immediately gets up. She must be up to no good if she’s been unsupervised for longer than ten minutes.
“Yumi! Where are you?” Jungkook’s brother calls in the hallway. “Dinner’s ready!”
Loud, hectic thumps erupt from upstairs.
“When did she get up there?” you ask puzzled.
Jungkook and his mother emerge from the dining room.
“What happened?” he asks.
Before anyone can respond, Yumi’s usual small pitter-patter of footsteps becomes a series of high-pitched clatters. She appears at the top of the stairs, dressed up in your clothes.
“Oh, God,” her dad utters.
“She found ___ closet.” An endeared smile crinkles Jungkook’s eyes.
Yumi proudly walks down the stairs in your Louboutins, a hand on the rail to keep her from tumbling. Jungkook rushes towards her, keeping a safe hand on her shoulder.
“___!” she exclaims, her wide smile puffing her cheeks. She’s wearing your soft pink corset from Dior and your mini skirt from Giambattista Valli’s vintage collection over her own dress.
“Had fun in my wardrobe?” You laugh as she nods vigorously.
“You have soo many clothes!” she says, eyes turning big. “And everything is sparkly!” She turns to her dad. “Daddy, I want a sparkly bag like dis too!” Yumi shoves your Prada clutch up in the air.
Jungkook’s brother emits a strained sigh, although a tiny smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Don’t you have a sparkly bag?”
Yumi frowns. “Not dis sparkly.” She points her hand at the bag for emphasis.
You giggle. Yumi was raised right. The sparklier the better.
“I hope you didn’t leave a mess in there,” he warns her.
“Daddy, the bag!” she yells, ignoring his words to avoid trouble, dangling it in the air.
Her dad ushers her into the dining room.
“Who made the bag? I’ll just buy her the same one,” he whispers in your ear.
“It’s a vintage Prada clutch from the fall/winter 2015 collection,” you answer, a confused pout gracing your face. “It’s no longer available for purchase.”
His eyes widen. He watches his daughter climb onto the chair with Jungkook’s assistance, the crystal embellished clutch sitting on the decked table near drinks and food that could spill onto it.
“Then we better take care of it.” He rushes to the table and places it somewhere safer.
As everyone settles into their seats for dinner, Jungkook’s brother breaks the silence, “Hyein was so upset she would miss out on Sunhee’s food.” His wife is pregnant and felt sick today, so she couldn’t come.
“How far along is she?” your mother asks.
“Just entered the third trimester.”
“I’m getting a baby brother!” Yumi exclaims, eyes wide with anticipation.
Jungkook pats her hair and falls into a quiet conversation with her.
“We’re very excited, but she’s been having a rough time lately.”
“Well, I hope she feels better soon,” your father says, his tone temporarily softening. “Take good care of her.”
As the conversation continues with lighter topics, you feel a momentary relief. But soon enough, you feel your father’s gaze shift back to you, a familiar sense of scrutiny returning.
“I wonder when it’ll be time for my daughters,” he says pointedly.
It’s funny he is using the plural form, given that, as far as you know, he never brings up this topic with your older sister, Jinah.
“I think we’ve talked about this last week,” you answer monotonous, eyes set on the plate before you.
“With you I’m just wondering whether I would receive the news from you personally or wake up to headlines telling me,” he says.
Your father called you as soon as the pictures were released, as hungry for answers as the press. Even accused you of hiring the paparazzi yourself when you told him you had merely gone to a check-up and assured him you weren’t pregnant; Jungkook was just comforting you after a rough day.
You used to pull a lot of silly stunts as a teenager to get your father’s attention. But staging a scene for the paparazzi, crying in your husband’s arms over a pregnancy scare, would be the last thing you’d do to get him to check up on you.
You did have your share of attention-seeking antics, like being spotted leaving the club with the son of your father’s rival company, stealing his jet or throwing lavish parties and inviting a mix of celebrities and socialites when your father was away on a trip.
“Didn’t Jinah talk about wanting babies in an interview? Ask her for grandchildren.”
Tilting his head, your father gives you a disapproving glance. “She’s busy with her law firm, don’t you think?”
The table falls silent, with only the faint sound of your breath as you open your lips to speak. Before you can respond, Jungkook steps in to answer for you.
“___ is quite busy herself – launching her clothing brand soon, starting the filming of her first drama, handling the countless photoshoots she has weekly.” Jungkook subtly places his hand on your bare thigh, the comforting press of his wedding band against your skin.
Your father’s features soften as he shifts his gaze to Jungkook. It still saddens you a bit that he seems to approve of everyone but you – it haunts you in the middle of the night, knowing that all you ever wanted as a child was to feel deserving of one of his approving smiles.
“I know she’s busy. It irks me what she keeps herself busy with.”
Jungkook is about to respond, but his mother steps in. “Your acting debut? Oh, I’m so excited.”
Jungkook’s hand slides to your knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Don’t take it to heart.
You remind yourself that you’ve long since stopped letting these comments get under your skin. Yet, a part of you – the little girl still longing for approval – feels a pang of sadness that won’t quiet fade.
As the conversation shifts, you find yourself staring at your plate, pushing the food around with your fork. The weight of your father’s disapproval feels heavier than ever. The rest of the meal passes in a blur of small talk and clinking utensils. You laugh at the right moments, nod when expected, but your mind drifts elsewhere. Eventually, the plates are cleared, and everyone begins to disperse.
“We should get going. It’s been a long day, and Hyein is alone at home.”
Yumi tugs at her dad’s sleeve, her eyes wide and hopeful. She glances over at you and Jungkook, then looks down shyly.
“What is it, Yumi?” her dad asks, crouching down to her level.
She whispers something in his ear, and he chuckles. “She wants to ask you guys something.”
You smile, kneeling down.
“Can we have a sleepover?” Yumi asks, her voice small and tentative. “Please?”
Jungkook grins and looks at you for confirmation. You nod saying, “Of course, you can. We’d love to have you.”
“Yay!” Yumi exclaims, jumping up and down excitedly. She rushes over to hug both you and Jungkook tightly.
As everyone gathers their things, your father watches you intently. His expression is hard to read, and for a moment, it seems like he might say something. But he quickly looks away, the familiar disapproval etched into his features.
You expected nothing less from him.
~
“Is Uncle Jungkook not playing dress up with us?” Yumi asks as she looks through the dress section of your closet.
“I’ll look for him, yeah?”
Stepping out of your walk-in closet and your bedroom, you walk down the hallway.
“Jungkook?” You hear his voice coming closer, and soon spot him walking briskly in your direction.
“Jungkook,” you call, trying to grab his bicep but he continues walking, and your fingers merely graze his arm. “Yumi wants to play before going to bed.”
Only when he turns around do you see him pressing his phone against his ear. Jungkook puts his pointer finger against his mouth and shushes you before he walks off in the direction of his office.
A startled laugh escapes your mouth.
As soon as your family left, his focus shifted back to his work. His excuse about being on the phone felt like a dagger, leaving you feeling disregarded and lonely – emotions you have been feeling too much lately, it’s starting to become a familiar ache in your chest, a constant reminder of the growing distance between you.
Watching Jungkook retreat to his office, you couldn’t help but wonder when it became so easy for him to prioritise work over your presence.
You turn back towards the bedroom and find Yumi standing by your open jewellery drawer, probably drawn by the bright, sparkly gems.
“Uncle Jungkook has some work to do,” you tell her.
Yumi just nods, staring at all the shimmery things in front of her. When she hears you sigh, she looks up at you, her little heart immediately sensing your change in mood.
“Are you sad?” Yumi asks, dragging her little finger over all your accessories, searching for the ones that shine the most.
“I think so,” you admit.
“Was someone mean to you?” She grabs a diamond necklace.
“A little, yeah.” You cross your arms, holding back the annoyed sigh.
Jungkook didn’t mean to make you feel upset. That would never be his intention. But you’re a sensitive person. And you’re his wife, so he should know better.
“My mommy always says when someone is mean to me to never be mean back to them, because – because that shows you are an ugly person.” She fiddles with your necklace.
“And we don’t want to be an ugly person, right?”
“No-uh.” She shakes her head, her little pigtails bouncing. “I wanna be pretty,” she says and holds the shiny necklace against her neck while looking at herself in the full-length mirror. “Where did you get this one from?”
Yumi’s second favourite game, after dress-up, is asking about the designers of your clothes and jewellery.
“It’s a Harry Winston piece. Uncle Jungkook gifted it to me,” you tell her.
“Really?” Her eyes widen. “He buys you so many sparkly things! Like that!” She points to your wedding ring. “Uncle Jungkook must love you so much. But – but he married you. So he has to.”
You help her put on the necklace. “What, you can’t love someone when you’re not married?”
Yumi shakes her head and giggles. “Noo, of course you can, silly. But you only get married when you know you will love them forever and ever.”
“You think Uncle Jungkook will love me forever?” You just feel slightly foolish for asking a child for reassurance.
She turns to you. A confused pout adorns her little face. It reminds you a bit of yourself.
“You don’t buy someone sparkly things when you don’t love them forever.”
You laugh. “Oh, is that so?” You grab her hand. “Come on, little girl. I got a few unopened gifts from designers I know you will love.”
Yumi squeals excitedly and follows you.
~
Sometime past midnight, Jungkook steps into the bedroom.
You lie in bed with your back to him. You were scrolling mindlessly on your phone – online shopping a little until Jungkook would come to bed, using his card just because. You put Yumi to bed in your guest bedroom hours ago.
“Jaehyun’s gala is in Italy next week,” he says, putting his phone on his bedside table. “You’re coming with me, right?”
You glance over your shoulder and glare at him a little. “No. Don’t wanna go all the way there just for a gala.” You hate flying. And flying to Italy to just stay there for a couple hours does not sound like something you want to do.
“We could have a little vacation for a few days.”
You tilt your head, watching him intently as if he’s setting you a trap. “How many days are we talking?” You sit up.
He ponders, probably going through his schedule in his mind. “Three days. At least.”
You sigh dramatically, though your chest feels giddy. “Fine. I’ll come. But I decide what we’re going to do every day.”
“Sure,” he agrees. “But I already know what you want to do anyway.” A little smirk dances on his lips.
“Oh, do you now?” you challenge, raising an eyebrow.
“Of course,” he replies, eyes shining. “You’ll want to visit the Uffizi Gallery first, lose yourself in all that Renaissance art. Then, there’s the Pinacoteca di Brera because you’re in love with those masterpieces. Shopping at Via Montenapoleone is a given, of course.”
You try to hide your smile but fail miserably.
“You probably want to go to the Amalfi Coast too. You love the view and the town. And then dinner at La Pergola – you've been craving their dishes ever since the last time we went.” He sits down the edge of the bed, watching you with expectant eyes.
You shake your head at him. “You really do know me too well.”
His dimples appear. “Told you.” He looks so pleased with himself. “See? I like you way better like this.” Jungkook gently traces the curve of your smile with the pad of his finger. “And not when you’re glaring at me.”
“Then be nicer to me,” you huff.
His fingers hold your chin and his mouth meets yours. He kisses you so softly and you melt against him.
“I’m not doing it on purpose, love,” he whispers in between kisses. His hand is warm on your waist and he squeezes you slightly.
“Come to bed.” You plant a smooch on his jawline. “I can’t sleep without you.”
While Jungkook takes off his clothes, you lie down again, your mind racing with thoughts of what happened today.
“Why did you and Eunji separate?” you inquire, voice laced with curiosity.
You catch the exact moment Jungkook registers your question; one eyebrow lifts for a heartbeat before his lips pucker into a wistful pout, deep in thought.
He isn’t surprised by your random question. Jungkook is used to you asking things at unexpected moments. You always speak your mind when you’re with him. You’ve asked him this before, but you want to hear his answer again, especially after his mother mentioned her.
“It just didn’t work out anymore,” he says finally. He wears a pensive expression and you’d give everything to know which moments with Eunji are flashing before his eyes.
You wonder if he often reminisces about specific times with her, and your curiosity deepens. He still works with her, sees her quite often, so does he ever think about past times with her? When they were married? And a happy couple?
The thought makes your face twist into a little frown. Jungkook has you. There’s no reason for him to dwell on past relationships when he is married to you.
What kind of thoughts are these? You’ve never had them before.
“We had other plans on how our future would look like,” he tells you as he’s getting under the covers. “What’s wrong?” he asks once he looks over at you and sees your brows pulled together.
“Nothing,” you murmur, smoothing the blanket around you.
“Everything is strictly professional between us.” He’s watching you with attentive eyes. “We care more about our work than the personal stuff.”
You doubt you could say the same if you were in their shoes. But then again, dramatic as you are, you’ve never really gotten over anything in your life.
You still wonder why his mother mentioned his ex, but it doesn’t matter – she doesn’t. Jungkook loves you, and that’s all you care about.
“I know. I trust you.” With a knowing glint in your eyes, you nod once in agreement. “Have never trusted anyone as much, actually.” You turn on your side, resting your hand on his chest. He’s warm, and you feel a gentle calm settle over you.
Soft knocks interrupt you.
“Uncle Jungkook?” Yumi’s meek voice comes through from the other side. She slowly opens the door. “Can I sleep with you, please?”
Jungkook sits up. “Is something wrong?” he asks worriedly.
“Can’t sleep,” she mumbles and crawls up into your bed. Her curious eyes rake over the shiny, lacy nightgown you’re wearing as Jungkook helps her getting tucked in between the two of you. “That’s a beautiful colour,” she says sleepily, feeling the glossy material with the pads of her fingers.
“Thank you.” You smile down at her but she’s intensely staring at your nightgown with fascinated eyes.
“Such a sleepy girl and yet still wants to steal ___ clothes.” Jungkook boops her nose, and she giggles mischievously. “At this point, you just want everything that Aunt ___ wears.”
Yumi turns her head to him. “You have a very pretty girlfri – wife, Uncle Jungkook.”
Jungkook hums in agreement. “I know. She is insanely pretty.”
Your cheeks feel hot. And you feel silly, but so in love.
“Is that why you married her?”
Jungkook chuckles. “It’s one of the reasons, yeah.”
“When I grow up, I want to be as pretty as Aunt ___” Her little eyes sparkle when they shift back to you. She scootches closer to you, cuddling your side.
“Oh,” you coo at her sweetness. “But you’re so pretty already.” You hesitantly brush her hair, taming the crazy bed hair. Jungkook watches you two with fondness softening his features.
“I know,” she yawns and ever so slowly her eyes fall closed.
“How did she fall asleep this quick?” You stare at the way her body falls and rises in rhythmic motions.
“I ask myself that every time when we go to sleep together.”
You sniff a laugh. You tend to fall asleep extremely fast when Jungkook is next to you.
“You’re just very comfortable.” You yearningly stare at his chest and his arm. You won’t be able to fall asleep on him, because miss Yumi is clinging to your side.
“Apparently you are too,” he muses.
You smile softly, looking down at Yumi’s peaceful face. The warmth of her small body pressed against yours fills you with a comforting sense of contentment. It’s a simple, unconditional love that you’ve always yearned for.
The room is quiet, save for the soft sounds of sleep. You close your eyes, feeling the weight of the day and the ache in your heart. As much as you cherish these moments, they also remind you of what’s missing.
But for now, you hold onto Yumi a little tighter, letting her innocent love soothe your restless mind, even as the doubts and fears linger in the corners of your heart.
#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenario#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook fic
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JK's point of interest will ALWAYS be JM
Just a few examples from this chaotic 2 part 5 members (if you include Hobi's couple of seconds) live.
You cannot miss that second when JM walks into the room. All you need to do is look at JK's face. At JK's eyes. Lighting up when JM walks in.
The almost full interaction:
Auto translations, so kind of shitty, lol.
The second time JM walks back into the room (he was supposed to be going to Tae's but he came back):
And when not looking at JM directly, it's through the screen. Because we know how he loves to look at JM through screens.

youtube
Did you catch this part? I know it's a lot to follow, but...

So, JM found his way to Tae's room and then Tae, of course them being as chaotic as they can be, joined RM and JK on the other end of the live.
But no matter what, JK's attention was on JM.
Tae full buff body leaning on him.

Again, full attention on JM and what he is doing.

Even with Tae hanging off JK like a branch. With close to zero reaction from JK. Because his attention was clearly on the person on the screen, duh!!

Do we mention the dropping of honorifics? Nah, what for? it's kind of a JK normal at this point.
And we had this too.

Apparently it wasn't cute but funny.
Funny, cute, same same. It's JK gushing over JM. And we are talking about the person that gave JM the cute award, so there's that.
Like I said, his centre of attention.
Even as JK was going to the toilet.
Or not.
With JM wearing Tae's nippie viewing tops.
He just can't leave the room when there is something that interesting to see, right?
🤣🤣
Oh, and btw, I mentioned in my previous post that JM didn't know where Tae's room was even though he'd been there for a couple of days already, right? Well, JK didn't either.

So, JK didn't even know where Tae's room is. I guess he's been too busy filming JM sleeping (in his/ perhaps their room/s).
Burn, I guess...
Oh, one more thing before I go.
Did you guys notice how JM's been sporting that new silver necklace of his?
Yesterday, shopping and during the live. Today posting a pic with it on his IG account.
And during the live today.
Remember, when he came into the room shirt came off (JK told us so) and then put back on for the camera. Necklace was on and stayed on.
Can't help but wonder if that necklace might have some kind of significance to JM.
You know, like this one that also seemed to make an appearance after Silver day 2022:
And if this necklace is JK's Silver day gift to JM, maybe, just maybe, those new silver hoops JK was rocking on his left ear might be JM's Silver day gift to JK.
BTS chaos is back full swing y'all.
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