#just haven't got around to posting ^^“

[goldenstorm0]

Look mate, idk about you but I fell in love with Yor when she kicked someone down an alleyway, I 1000% Loid thinks its the hottest shit out there

Obligatory aftermath:

[screwpinecaprice]

Oh oof I slipped and hit them with dark and serious beam. 😣

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In Regards To Your 2024 Summary:

Holy shit it’s been another year????? The hell?????

Also! Your art style is gorgeous and that being found in 2023 and then refined throughout late 2023 and the entirety of 2024 really shows, as does your growth in panel layouts, perspective, and — as you said — experimentation. If you ever post your animation or video game art I’m looking forward to it.

As cheesy as it sounds, being able to laugh at funny comics and look at all the details of your art really made my 2024 brighter, even when things were hard. Including looking at your older art— it doesn’t need to be new to be enjoyable! I’m glad your art is well loved and it’s a privilege to have been here since the (near) beginning. I hope you take care of yourself in 2025 and beyond!

You and your art bring a lot of people a lot of joy never forget that <3

Thank you so much for keeping up with my art journey throughout these last two years! Two years!!! I am baffled at how that feels both too long and too short!

Admittedly, my art summary didn't manage to capture the fact that I did a lot of comic layouts that I'm really proud of. I also drew more backgrounds and made some very detailed works (*Dungeon Meshi spoilers for these examples*).

The growth is lot more evident when comparing my 'best' comics of 2023 to 2024:

Sometimes the growth is vertical, sometimes it is horizontal - and damn, sometimes it goes out of sight into the Z-plane. But it is always happening!

[demonslayedher]

Sanka: Mountain-dwellers not integrated into society

“What’s the shape of that cloud?” Not something that seems very important at a Hashira meeting, but perhaps something Muichiro used to know and pay close attention to. After all, not taking nature seriously enough can have dire consequences when you live and work in the mountains.

I’d like to dive a little into what it meant for the Tokito twins to have grown up in the mountains, keeping to themselves. These sorts of people, who were not integrated into society and may not have kept up with newfangled Meiji and Taisho societal regulations, were often called “sanka” by the people who lived in mountain villages and knew of them. The kanji used might vary from region to region, and their relationships to the sanka might vary depending on location and time period. After all, it was often people ostracized from society who had no choice but to live apart from it.

The "satoyama" areas

To back up a bit, many people lived in mountains. Depending on how you define it, two-thirds to three-fourths of Japan’s land is mountainous. Many of those mountains are too steep or treacherous to be hospitable to humans, but wherever they could, people made do.

Thus, you often found the rural areas split up into different zones: the villages people inhabited (hitozato), the deep mountains (okuyama), and the crossover zone between them, the satoyama. Literally, “village mountain.” These were the areas where people would venture into the mountains to collect from the bounty of the mountain.

Nowadays, “satoyama” is an important term when it comes to both retaining traditional culture and managing natural resources (and many, many organizations throughout Japan are dedicated to helping people learn about and experience satoyama practices). The Japanese Ministry of the Environment defines satoyama as areas consisting of farmlands, irrigation ponds, secondary forest, plantation forest, and grasslands around human settlements, but that does not quite capture the human element. Like in other places around the world, people who rely on mountains have developed knowledge of the natural world and used that to collect supplies like food, medicine, and timber, and they have managed the forest to maximize these benefits. There are entire habitats that other species would lose if humans were to stop managing those places now.

To place it in perspective, the Kamado family lived in, relied on, and managed the forest so that they could have a steady supply of their livelihood: charcoal. They fed themselves with fish from the river and edible mountain plants, but they also relied on the village below, whom they were economically and socially intertwined with. They lived a satoyama lifestyle.

But would we call them sanka?

Who were sanka, and how many were there?

Because sanka removed themselves from society, they did not impact a lot of Japanese history and culture. Hence, there is not much information to go on.

Way back in history, there were always people relegated to the mountains because they did not accept the rule of the Yamato clan (aka, the source of the imperial lineage). Many of these people became the sources of oni legends too, demonized by those who left a more tangible impact on Japanese culture. However, as the centuries went on, there were also rumors about, say, samurai who lost big wars, or who left their samurai lives behind and had nowhere to go but the mountains if they wanted to be left in peace.

There are even rumors that after the fall of the samurai in the Meiji Restoration, many of them became sanka. This was well over three decades before Yuichiro and Muichiro were born, so it’s possible that their grandfather was the most recent samurai of their family. If we consider generational trauma, it’s not a far stretch that this urgency to hide away from society might have led Yuichiro to be especially worried for their safety and disillusioned with the expectations of warriors.

However, it is hard to say for sure. Because they did not register themselves and their families like law-abiding citizens did, and because they were not a big topic of cultural study, it is hard to say anything for sure, but according to Professor Owada’s estimate in “Japanese History of Demon Slayers” (a book that is not officially tied to Kimetsu no Yaiba but rode on the tails of its success), there were maybe 200,000 sanka throughout Japan in the Meiji period (1968-1912), and by about the 1940s, there may have been about 10,000. They almost entirely disappeared within about ten years after that.

If we compare those numbers back to the Kimetsu no Yaiba timeline (with the majority of the plot having most likely taken place in 1915), that means there were plenty of mountain-dwelling, not-exactly-following-all-the-newfangled-law characters, and if Tanjiro only lived until the age of 25, he could theoretically have not had any reason to leave his humble mountain abode the whole time. However, at some point his descendants quit making charcoal and moved to the city.

Among sanka, there was likely a lot of variety, both in terms of how much they interacted with human settlements and in what sort of work they specialized in. For example, many people are familiar with the term “matagi.” They are sometimes referred to as hunters, especially for bears (like Yae and her father in the Tomioka Gaiden, or Urokodaki’s friend who was mentioned in a fanbook for having found Giyuu and introduced him to Urokodaki), but matagi could be just as well-versed in plants and medicine. Other people, like “kijishi,” were skilled in making everyday ideas out of materials from the mountains, and they would exchange their wares for what they needed from people in settlements.

Then we have “somabito,” who collected and delivered wood. This is where the Tokito family found their niche.

It is probably thanks to these activities that they procured, say, the kitchen knife that Yuichiro used for cutting daikon. But as for how warmly the nearby village treated them, who knows. Yuichiro’s attitude was probably to go to the village, do only as much business as necessary, and then leave, for he may have felt that their family was distrusted because they were sanka.

Mt. Kagenobu: The Tokito family home

According to the first fanbook, Muichiro is from Mt. Kagenobu, a 727-meter mountain on the border of what would now be called Tokyo Prefecture and Kanagawa Prefecture. It is not a mountain I have been to, but as I understand, it’s not that bad of a climb for beginners (but you should still be adequately prepared). Depending on your course, it can take about 60-80 minutes to climb to the top. Even if they did live near the top, that’s not too bad of a trip for Amane-sama to take several times. However, even a satoyama area still has mountain dangers. Oni, for example. And places where you can slip and fall to your death, rain or no rain.

These are things that are probably engrained in Muichiro, whether he consciously remembers them or not. Plants, weather, animals, searching for and preparing food; somewhere inside of him, even at his foggiest, he probably still knew how to do all this.

And, maybe somewhere in how Yuichiro influenced him, he felt distanced from other people.

However, that’s not the only reason a warrior might wish to run away to the mountains, is it? After all, that is where they and their loved ones might live in peace and be happy.

Two more quick facts:

There is a tea house on Mt. Kagenobu that posts photos of the Mt. Kagenobu landscape, which might be very handy for fic writers, or just plain nice for Muichiro fans to check out! Yes, they are totally aware of Muichiro and love having that connection.

There is a kind of cherry blossom on that mountain called “kasumizakura.” Yes!!! “Mist” sakura!!!!!!!

[indiiglow]

My thoughts on the Roaring Knight

(they're probably not gonna be very coherent)

First of all, people so confidently pointing at Carol being the Knight are wildin'

It's Dess. But not literally. I think... The Knight was made. Possibly to carry out the prophecy, but the prophecy is at least in part bullshit. I think there is a goal, and how it gets accomplished is less important - therefore making the Knight a tool that can be thrown away if absolute need be. It's about the red soul.

As for proof? Beyond the obvious antlers/summoning a bat that turns into a sword? (Carol uses a katana while the Knight's sword is shaped like a falchion. I doubt this is a pixel restriction issue, it's like that on purpose.) In chapter 4 when the gang is chasing them they act flippant. Childish. Zooming up the stairs while grinning with their hands crossed. Can you picture The Serious Mayor doing that? Or that animalistic, beastly introduction? I can't.

I think they are made from some sort of an essence? Darkness? Of a titan and a part of Dess. I hesitate to throw around any soul ideas because the whole monster soul situation in this game is already so gooddamn weird it warrants a post of it's own. Whether that means Dess herself is somewhere else or.. merged? with it I don't know.

And finally:

(that was the first thing I got when I interacted with the computer on the same route but not sure if intentional tbh bc I didn't interact with it on the prev one. but helluva coincidence ISN'T IT)

[governmentmandatedryujinstan420]

releasing this from the hj discord dungeon because the public populace was in agreement also i'm chronically offline on tumblr and need to fix that for my chronically online ahh

[pickleddandelions]

This took way longer to make than I expected and/or wanted it to.

I've collected some stray thoughts and ideas I had into what I've been calling Shape!Caz AU. The name might be subject to change because I'm terrible at naming things. To be honest I haven't completely fleshed out the AU yet and I have no idea what I'm gonna do with it.

The basic premise is that after destroying the Shape, Caz becomes the eldritch horror instead. He doesn't know about that part. What he knows is that all of the sudden he's back on an oil rig that should have been destroyed, surrounded by people who died horrible deaths at best but are suddenly alive and well and there's creepy shit happening around him that gets worse the more he panics.

It’s December 27th. None of the crew remember the 26th happening, but the people calling from the outside insist on that. They say the Beira D was completely unreachable for a whole day.

Caz just appeared at the derrick at some point. He didn’t walk in or anything, all of the sudden he just stood there, screaming. Gibbo was the first one to get to him, but then he started freaking out and yelling about not wanting to do something and ran away. It’s impossible to get him to stop crying for long enough to explain anything. It’s even harder to get any explanation from Caz. The guy just keeps rambling about people dying and monsters. Looking at him for too long hurts.

Apparently Rennick tried to fire Caz. No idea what made him change his mind, but his office has been destroyed and the guys from Administration say that he called some random guy just to threaten him. They also said that Caz is now banned from using any form of long-range communication. This was not elaborated on.One of the first things Caz did after getting to Accommodations was punching Addair. Nobody thought anything of it at the time but now Addair’s wandering around Engineering muttering something about the engine and calling his kids. He’s not responding to anyone trying to talk to him. It’s really bad for the crew’s morale.

There’s something big moving on the deck that you can only see when looking out of the windows. Some of the deckhands keep insisting that it’s Muir, but none of them have any idea how they know that. Muir himself is currently trapped in their cabin where Innes locked him in after Caz mentioned his name. Innes went missing a few hours ago. Muir is starting to get pissed. Caz seems really upset by this.

The hallways are alive when Caz is upset.

[septimusmoonlight]

You doing ok?

hi

[weirdghostcat]

"Despite everything... It's still me, right?"

Pit without his cape looks so different (ᵕ•_•)

AU-lore-dumping information with rambling below: ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The CORE, which was once full of pure magic, turned corrupted and unstable after a bomb made it explode. Pit's and Chara's souls were sucked into the remains of the CORE, corrupting the CORE's magic even further. While Chara's soul stayed untouched by the CORE's corruption, Pit's soul and magic got stained. But he is still himself, despite those new funny voices and hallucinations feelings, right? ... Right?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

While the last Pit-got-corrupted-part is still a concept, the first half is set in stone in this AU. I'm close to finding a name, I swear!

The CORE does not directly provide them with magic, like in Horrortale, for example. It was once built to take all the monsters into a self-made-built dimension where -theoretically- humans cannot reach them anymore. It drains the magic from the human world to power up and to transfer it to their dimension for the monsters to use.

I say theoretically since there was still a way for Chara to got sucked into their dimension.

Because of reasons that would be too long to explain, humans found them and attacked while the monsters were celebrating a festival that they hold every year.

That's actually the day I'm focusing on the most right now since everyone's life changes after that. It basically revolves around the CORE's explosion, the reason for the festival's existence, Chara's real dad, and Pit... Papyrus is a depressed mess and will probably never recover from this.

But uhm... I really don't know how to properly show everything. Maybe I just make more lore-dumping posts and put them later inside my pinned post or something. This AU has a lot to unpack, and I didn't even really start with the other's character designs! Except for Chara, but her design has lore reasons.

[ruvviks]

– Beginnings.

Characters >> Lily Castellanos, Nathan Dixon (oc), Sebastian Castellanos Total >> 3.5k words Warnings >> Alcohol mention Context >> The first chapter of my own TEW3, taking place some months after the conclusion of the in-game events of TEW2! You can read more about it all here!

It snowed in Krimson City.

The sky had been the same dull gray color since sunrise, snowflakes slowly cascading down and covering the street in a thick blanket of snow. A heavy fog held the city tightly in its grasp– an eerie atmosphere hanging in the thin afternoon air and low-hanging clouds swallowing entire buildings whole– and with only limited visibility on the road, traffic was forced to crawl by in slow motion.

While not an unseen phenomenon, it was far from a common sight for early January, only days after Nathan’s birthday. He had spent that day snowed in in his little apartment, had celebrated it alone; not as if it mattered much, he doubted Kid even knew and besides his ex-colleague from MOBIUS he severely lacked other friends to hang out with those days.

He stood motionless at the fence of the small playground located in Krimson City’s public park, gloved hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his long, black coat with the collar popped up to shield the lower half of his face from the occasional sharp gust of wind. He had not moved in a while, shoulders and tousled black hair covered in a thin layer of fine white powder, frost nipping away at the tip of his nose as his eyes followed a group of kids excitedly running around.

It did not take a genius to notice Lily was significantly older than the others there, but none of the kids seemed to mind. It came as no surprise to Nathan to see her there– she had not once lost her playfulness even after everything MOBIUS had put her through, and without a proper outlet for it in all her years trapped in the shadow organization it only made sense for her to want to have a chance at spending the remainder of her childhood like she had always been supposed to.

He watched in silence as she scooped up some snow in her pink and orange mittens, wincing when one of the other kids threw a snowball directly at her face; she was smiling, though, and quickly pressed the snow together to then hurl it back, the surprisingly well-aimed attempt hitting someone else on the back of their coat.

‘You’re startin’ to freak out the other parents, standing there like that.’

The corners of Nathan’s mouth lightly curled up upon hearing the familiar, low voice, not needing to turn his head to know who joined him on the other side of the fence.

‘Was starting to wonder how long it’d take for you to notice me,’ he said, his own voice a little rougher than usual on account of the cold, and his severe lack of proper rest in the past few weeks. ‘Was gonna give you another five minutes before I’d walk over to introduce myself. You’re getting slow.’

‘I’m getting comfortable,’ Sebastian Castellanos corrected him with a scoff, returning Lily’s little wave as she ran by the both of them– Nathan merely greeted her with a single nod of his head– before quickly shoving his hand back in the pocket of his green jacket.

‘No need to keep my eyes up anymore, Nate. Threat’s gone, MOBIUS’ gone. Life’s improving day by day.’

‘Good.’

Nathan wished he shared Sebastian’s sentiment.

If anything, life had turned rather sour for him after they had successfully gotten rid of a large chunk of MOBIUS several months ago. He had never expected to walk away from it alive to begin with– and now, without the steady income the organization had provided him with for years, he found himself struggling to get by.

He glanced to his right, gaze briefly meeting that of the ex-detective before he quickly averted his eyes and let them wander back to the playground, trailing over the various snow-covered playground sets.

Sebastian looked good, healthy– much better than the state he’d been in when Nathan had last seen him all those months ago. Part of him regretted not reaching out sooner, the sudden reconnection now an obvious sign that something was wrong; though the wiser part of him knew that had he stuck around the Castellanos family they would not have been able to move on and heal, which was the last thing he would have wanted to be responsible for.

‘What about you?’ Sebastian quietly asked, as if he’d been able to sense Nathan’s melancholy. ‘You look like you haven’t slept in days.’

Nathan scoffed, slightly tilting his head to look at his feet and he absently kicked some snow off his boots. ‘That obvious? Sure feels like it.’

He had teamed up with Juli Kidman to deal with the remainder of MOBIUS, after the Union incident. Of course the destruction of the STEM environment hadn’t led to the fall of the whole organization– it would’ve been stupid of them to link all of their employees directly to the mainframe of a single STEM device, despite the Superiors’ obvious lack of knowledge concerning the technology– and while MOBIUS had suffered massive losses, it would only be a matter of time before they would regroup.

But he was not there to talk to Sebastian about how their hunt was going.

Something else had come up.

Nathan’s silence did not go unnoticed and Sebastian turned toward him, leaning sideways against the fence with a concerned look in his eyes. He did not need to say anything– and neither did Nathan, as he slowly pulled his hands out of his pockets and removed one of his black, leather gloves.

The pale top of his left hand had a burned appearance, as if fire had scorched away skin and flesh– the wound only partially healed leaving it broken and torn clinging closely to his veins and bones. Though despite how recent he had received the scar, its appearance instead implied years long possession, and despite its severity it did not hurt at all.

He could tell by the look on Sebastian’s face the scar reminded him of someone.

‘Now, I know what you’re gonna say–’ Nathan started, but Sebastian cut him off.

‘I can’t do this, Nathan. I have a daughter–’

‘–I know.’

His voice came out a lot sharper than he had meant for.

‘I’m not asking anything of you,’ he said, his heartbeat pounding in the back of his throat.

‘Not this time.’

It had started as police radio chatter.

Late in the afternoon, Nathan had already been getting ready to go home. Kid had picked up a mention of Beacon– its doors long closed for the public yet the building remained in the heart of Krimson City, left to rot and wither away– supposed ghostly activity reported within its decaying walls, and she had wanted to investigate.

Nathan sharply exhaled and put his glove back on, exposed fingers growing numb in the freezing winter air. He leaned forward with his arms on the fence, to move a little closer to Sebastian; as if he was afraid someone would overhear them, as if they could make sense out of any of it to begin with.

‘He’s back, Sebastian,’ he defeatedly stated, and the other man lowered his gaze. ‘I saw him. He did this to me.’

‘Impossible.’

‘Wish it was.’

Despite hearing many tales, and having worked on his project for years as developer within the MOBIUS branch he had been part of, Nathan had never seen or met Ruvik face to face. The brilliant mind behind the STEM technology had always remained in the shadows; up until his death, after which his brain had become the core of MOBIUS’ very first STEM device.

Naturally so, when Nathan had run into the man while wandering the abandoned hallways of Beacon, his first assumption had been that he was asleep– followed by a brief moment of panic in which he had believed he was dead, or somehow back in STEM.

But Ruvik had touched him– had forcefully grabbed his hand to make him drop his gun and had left a burn similar to his own scars– and had then vanished the second Kidman had yelled out Nathan’s name, the old and presumed broken STEM device in the room next door whirring and humming as if it had never been deactivated in the first place.

‘I’m here to warn you,’ Nathan softly continued, eyes fixed on a random spot in the bright snow covering the playground and thumb absently running over the gloved back of his scarred hand.

‘We don’t know yet what exactly he’s here for, what exactly he’s tryin’ to do. Investigating as we speak, but– shit’s looking serious. Somehow reverse engineered the STEM signal to reach outward, expand into reality. Push itself out rather than draw people in.’

‘Meaning?’

‘Similar to the wireless connection that pulled you into STEM the first time round, but– without being pulled in.’ Nathan had to bite his tongue to stop himself from getting too technical. ‘An– An active environment in our world, if you follow, rather than on the device’s mainframe. Signal seems to be inactive still, but we’re gettin’ the readings. No idea how he’s planning to activate it yet.’

They had moved the device to their own headquarters, on the outskirts of town. Had needed to connect it to the second prototype– the device that had supported the Union environment, which they had taken from MOBIUS’ headquarters after wiping out its agents– in order to gain access to the mainframe, get any data extracted from it in the first place.

Their initial hope had been that it was nothing more than echoes– malfunctions in the STEM device caused by neglect promptly activating the wireless signal allowing shades from within to wander the Beacon hallways– anything but Ruvik’s actual return, however that was even possible–

‘Daddy!’

Nathan blinked, drawn out of his thoughts by Lily’s voice. He watched her run over to the two of them– the front of her coat, face, and hair completely covered in snow and a bright smile on her face as she attempted to wipe some of it from her forehead, but if anything her mittens just further spread it out.

‘I’m getting cold,’ she said, squinting when Sebastian reached out to help her with the snow. ‘Can we go back home soon?’

‘Of course honey,’ he replied, barely able to mask the exhaustion in his voice now that Nathan had explained the situation to him– and for a brief moment it was as if they were back in Union, radioing back to Kidman from the momentary safety of one of their established safehouses. ‘Don’t want you catching a cold.’

Lily looked up at Nathan and smiled at him– but she was a smart kid, and he watched her expression change as she looked back up at her father, head slightly tilting before she shook it to get some strands of her ink black hair out of her face, the single white strand in her bangs– matching Nathan’s own– a grim and constant reminder of her mother’s fate.

‘Is everything alright?’ she asked, and Nathan couldn’t help but wonder if she still associated him with MOBIUS, if she still associated him with the tests and experiments they put her through and if she still associated him with the STEM device, meeting one another within in some facility in the Marrow where he was forced to watch over her like a vulture at all times, all to keep the system stable.

‘Nothing to worry about,’ he simply answered her, unsure if she would fall for his lie, but knowing it would give her infinitely more comfort than the truth ever could. ‘Just came to say hi.’

The breeze picked up, howling loudly in Nathan’s ears as if the whole city softly cried for him; the cold boring its way through his clothes and eating away at his skin, exposed or not, freezing him all the way down to the bone. He lowered his head– a futile attempt at shielding his face from the biting wind and snow, individual snowflakes cutting like knives across his forehead and cheekbones.

He watched Lily smile at both him and Sebastian again before running off to get back to the snowball fight for just a bit longer, diving behind the slide to get cover. His gaze was pulled back toward Sebastian– but said man appeared deep in thought, eyes pointedly fixed on something in the distance, head anywhere but in the present.

‘I gotta go back in,’ Nathan quietly continued; an unnecessary statement, the gravity of the situation like static in the air between the two of them, though to put it into words was to accept the harsh reality of it all– acknowledgement of what had to happen, what was going to happen, something he had not been able to do before.

‘It’s nothing like Union,’ Sebastian bluntly replied with a shake of his head, turning his back to the playground and resting heavily with his elbows on the fence. ‘He’s nothing like Stefano– nothing like Theodore. He doesn’t need a weapon or a core to draw his powers from, you get too close and it’s over. You understand?’

Nathan didn’t know what else to say.

He had never thought he’d have to go back into STEM after Union. He’d be alone this time round– no Sebastian by his side, no Kidman to radio back to. They had reconnected some old friends– Joseph, Yukiko, Esmeralda– but had no idea whether or not their consciousnesses would still be somewhere within STEM, and for all Nathan knew he would be diving into a world entirely of Ruvik’s creation, with the same horrifying creatures haunting it as last time, if not worse.

Of course he was terrified. All it took was one encounter with Anima and he would never see the light of day ever again.

‘You should go,’ Nathan said, pushing himself up from the fence and stuffing his hands back in the pockets of his coat, ‘get out of town while you still can. Grab a bag or two, grab Lily, take her on a– on a road trip up north or something, while we figure this out. Just in case he–’

He couldn’t finish his sentence. The thought of Ruvik succeeding and trapping the world in a constant state of STEM was something he would rather not think about.

‘–you know.’

An uncomfortable silence followed. And rightfully so– what else was there to say? The whole situation was ridiculous to begin with, and for Nathan to show up only now instead of at any other point in time, months of radio silence after nearly dying together in a simulation of reality lingering between real life and a dream–

He carefully watched as Sebastian shifted his weight from one foot to the other, able to study his face for longer now that the other man refused to make eye contact with him. He truly did look a lot better; Nathan could only assume the man had stopped drinking, and had been getting a much better night’s sleep.

Though despite the improvement in his appearance there was still that lingering sense of dread, the dark shadow that had washed over his face the second he had laid eyes on Nathan’s scarring and had realized what he had come to him for.

Nathan couldn’t blame him. But he’d had to let Sebastian know.

He licked his lips and nodded to no one in particular, ending the conversation himself by taking a small step back and turning back around to return to his car, drive home, drink himself blind and pass out to hopefully get some sleep in before he would have to dive back into his worst nightmare–

‘Hey.’

Sebastian’s hand on his upper arm was unexpected and Nathan hated how he could not stop himself from flinching, a reflex more than anything else, and he hated how it made Sebastian pull his hand away as if he’d touched fire, the tips of his fingers on Nathan’s body despite the layers he wore the first physical contact he had experienced in months.

‘Who is “we”?’ Sebastian quietly asked, briefly glancing behind him to see if Lily was still far enough away. A surprising question; though not out of character for the ex-detective, his curiosity piqued just enough for him to try and get a little more information out of Nathan before they would say goodbye and possibly never see each other again.

‘Me,’ Nathan plainly answered, ‘Juli. Used to be just us two but we gathered a team of old STEM developers to help us with this. They got moved on to other projects while we were working on Union– they removed their chips, came back for us.’

‘So all MOBIUS.’

Not even a question, simply a statement.

Nathan bit the inside of his cheek. ‘Ex MOBIUS.’

The atmosphere changed, a sharp tension bouncing between the two of them as Nathan straightened his back and lightly tilted up his chin. He couldn’t exactly place the look on the other man’s face, though by then knew him well enough to know his hesitation wasn’t caused by uncertainty, but moreso distrust.

‘Thought the program was meant to kill them all,’ Sebastian said, a somewhat hostile undertone in his voice that had not been there before.

‘Just our branch.’ Nathan paused, watching as Sebastian slowly nodded and mouthed a soundless “right”– not entirely sure what his reaction was supposed to mean, but he decided not to ask. ‘Already told you it runs a lot deeper than you thought.’

Myra's sacrifice had put an end to the Administrator's reign of terror– had destroyed his legacy, and all research and findings on the STEM system as designed by Ruvik and improved by MOBIUS. Whichever branches remained did not nearly have enough resources or knowledge to pull off something even remotely similar; and whatever scraps of code they could have gotten their hands on before Kidman and Nathan had wiped their systems clean would prove insufficient to provide them with a stable environment.

And even if they would make it that far– provided they’d be able to recreate the STEM device from written instructions alone, Ruvik's original blueprints lost to time and MOBIUS' own burned to a crisp in the aftermath of the Union incident's conclusion– the mental erosion Union's residents had suffered from and the Anima manifestations that had happened as a result had never been resolved, leaving any future STEM residents with the all but comforting promise of a similar fate.

'I'm diving in tomorrow,' Nathan said, knowing there was nothing else left to say. The breeze in the park was picking up again, sweeping snowflakes that were starting to feel more like hail than anything else into Nathan’s face with a lot more force than before, melting on collision and dripping into the collar of his shirt. 'First thing in the morning. Can’t waste any more time. In case you wanna come say goodbye–'

He reached into the pocket of his pants, then held out a note to Sebastian; handwritten, containing an address located on an abandoned warehouse site, not too far from Nathan's own home.

'–our headquarters.' He waited for Sebastian to take the note from him. 'No pressure, of course.'

No pressure.

The note was almost a blatant sign that Nathan wanted him to be there. He could not ask it of him directly– but gave him the option anyway, leaving the decision up to Sebastian instead.

But deep down Nathan knew that Sebastian knew that he really did not want to go back in alone– and if it had been up to him they had recruited Sebastian a week ago already, when things had first started to go wrong.

‘Do you have backup?’ Sebastian softly asked, as if he could look directly into Nathan’s head– asking the one question he had hoped for, with an answer to it that could easily enough change Sebastian’s mind about letting Nathan walk away if only he would play his cards right–

But despite how often he had practiced the entire conversation alone in his car, despite going over all the different things he could say at least a million times, just to get Sebastian to feel sorry for him– as selfish as it fucking was– Nathan found himself unable to speak.

He simply shook his head instead.

The other children and their parents were leaving, now. It was getting late, and colder, and Lily slowly wandered back to Sebastian to start dragging him back to the car if he were to take any longer than he already had.

Nathan looked up at the sky, eyes fluttering shut as he allowed more snow to drift down onto his ice cold skin, and he breathed in and out deeply before turning back to Sebastian.

‘They’re expecting more snowfall tonight,’ he said, locking eyes for only a split second and shooting a smile in his direction, as he began walking backwards into the direction of his car. ‘Don’t wait up. And– Drive safe, okay?’

Sebastian did not answer him.

It snowed in Krimson City, accompanied by a deafening silence weighing it down and choking it out, as if the whole city was expectantly holding its breath.

Nathan left.

taglist (opt in/out)

@nistarot, @deadrlngers, @euryalex, @ordinarymaine, @mojaves;

@shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @mnwlk, @rindemption, @ncytiri;

@calenhads, @noirapocalypto, @florbelles, @radioactiveshitstorm, @strafethesesinners;

@fashionablyfyrdraaca, @radioactive-synth, @katsigian, @estevnys, @devilbrakers;

@aezyrraesh, @carlosoliveiraa, @adelaidedrubman, @fromgotham, @wardenevka

[happistar]

what's up cd fandom (the like... 5 of us)

[pigeon-princess]

I am in the convention preparation trenches right now but I have so many self indulgent WIPS and sketches I want to finish aaaaaa. Once everything settles down I'll be able to start drawing and posting more reguluarly again! I've got to draw some OCs kissing to heal my art soul I think.

[keeps-ache]

hey i think the curse on my brain lifted!

[skitskatdacat63]

Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[kodokberjamur]

Uhh so I blacked out, and—