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nothingnothingaaa · 1 year ago

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Apple Car’s Crash: Design Details, Tim Cook’s Indecision, Failed Tesla Deal

By Bloomberg, Mar 6, 2023

Tim Cook shut down plans to acquire Tesla before cycling through a junkyard’s worth of self-driving designs over the past decade. The inside story is a case study in indecision.

Around the beginning of 2020, Apple Inc.’s top executives gathered at a former Chrysler testing track in Wittmann, Arizona, to try out the latest incarnation of the car the technology giant had been trying for years to make. The prototype, a white minivan with rounded sides, an all-glass roof, sliding doors and whitewall tires, was designed to comfortably seat four people and inspired by the classic flower-power Volkswagen microbus. The design was referred to within Apple, not always affectionately, as the Bread Loaf. The plan was for the vehicle to hit the market some five years later with a giant TV screen, a powerful audio system and windows that adjusted their own tint. The cabin would have club seating like a private plane, and passengers would be able to turn some of the seats into recliners and footrests.

Most important, the Bread Loaf would have what’s known in the industry as Level 5 autonomy, driving entirely on its own using a revolutionary onboard computer, a new operating system and cloud software developed in-house. There would be no steering wheel and no pedals, just a video-game-style controller or iPhone app for driving at low speed as a backup. Alternately, if the car found itself in a situation that it was unable to navigate, passengers would phone in to an Apple command center and ask to be driven remotely.

This Canoo electric van gives you a general idea of what the prototype car Apple tested in Arizona looked like. Apple’s was white, with whitewall tires and a sliding door.

In the Arizona desert, Chief Executive Officer Tim Cook, Chief Operating Officer Jeff Williams and senior members of Apple’s design team sat in the prototype as it drove itself around a test track. They loved what they saw. But there was a catch, as the car project’s head, Doug Field, made clear: A lot of work still needed to be done before the autonomous driving system would work in the real world. Field, who’d been hired away from Tesla Inc. to oversee the project, proposed scaling back the self-driving goals to Level 3, which requires a human driver to be ready to take over at a moment’s notice, not watching TV or FaceTiming in a backward-facing seat. But Field’s bosses wanted Level 5.

The next year, Field left Apple to take over the electric-vehicle and software engineering efforts at Ford Motor Co. Under Field’s successor, Kevin Lynch, who also runs Apple’s smartwatch software group, the car’s design continued to evolve. It had become pod-shaped, with curved glass sides that doubled as gull-wing doors, and the company considered including ramps that would automatically fold out to make heavy cargo easier to load. The front and the back were identical, and the only windows were on the sides, a design choice with potentially dire consequences in the event that a human needed to do any driving. (Front and rear windows were later added.) Some people on the project called it the I-Beam.

The I-Beam never made it into production, nor did any of Apple’s other designs. Now, it seems, they never will. On Feb. 27, Apple told staff it was giving up on developing a car. That decision, while abrupt, was not a surprise. Over the past decade, the company toiled away on at least five different major designs, drove prototype self-driving systems for more than a million miles, hired engineers and designers only to lay them off, and weighed partnerships or acquisitions with Tesla, Mercedes-Benz, BMW, Volkswagen and McLaren Automotive, among others. The car program cost, on average, roughly $1 billion annually (or nearly a fifth of Apple’s research and development budget a decade ago), with outside teams for chips, camera sensors, cloud services and software adding hundreds of millions of dollars more to the yearly spend.

Source: Compiled by Bloomberg. Automakers are the 10 largest companies in the Bloomberg Intelligence Global Automobiles Valuation Peers group

But Apple never got close to realizing its original vision, or any of its subsequent ones. It didn’t get as far as testing a full-scale prototype on public roads. That it didn’t is partly thanks to the enormous technical difficulty of its self-driving goals, as well as the punishing economics of the automaking business. The project was also a failure, at the highest levels of the company, to settle on one thing and do it.

“There are a lot of roads you can take when you have a lot of really smart people and a very big budget,” says Reilly Brennan, a partner at the transportation technology venture fund Trucks VC. “But Apple never had the ability to make a bunch of specific decisions to lead them one way or the other.”

This story is based on conversations with several people involved in the development of the Apple car over the past decade, nearly all of whom asked to remain unnamed because the work was private. According to a longtime Apple executive who worked on the car, it was widely seen within the company as an ill-conceived product that needed to be put out of its misery. “The big arc was poor leadership that let the program linger, while everyone else in Apple was cringing,” they say. Asked what went wrong with the effort, a senior manager involved in the vehicle’s interior design replied: “What went right?”

What emerges is a portrait of the product development process at Apple today. The $2.6 trillion company has a history of hugely ambitious bets, and a track record of upending long-established businesses. It’s been a while since it did that, however. The iPhone is 17 years old and its sales declined last year, and newer products such as Apple’s watch and AirPods, while profitable, exist mostly in its orbit. The jury’s still out on the Vision Pro. Right now, the company is looking for its next big thing, and does not seem sure how to find it.

Cook, Jobs and legendary hardware developer Bob Mansfield, later a steward of Apple’s car project, discuss the iPhone 4 during a Q&A at the company’s headquarters in 2010.

It was Steve Jobs who first floated the idea of a car at Apple. In the late 2000s, in a typically grand pronouncement, the company’s co-founder and CEO declared internally that Apple should have dominant technologies in all of the spaces in which people spent time: at home, at work and on the go. For many Americans, being in transit means being on the road, sometimes for hours a day. “We talked about what would be this generation’s new Volkswagen Beetle,” recalls Tony Fadell, who led mobile device engineering under Jobs. In the wake of the 2008 financial crisis, with American car companies on the brink of failure, the Apple chief executive even floated the idea of acquiring General Motors Co. for pennies on the dollar.

That scheme was quickly abandoned, in part because Apple decided it would be a bad look and in part because of the need to focus on the iPhone. But in 2014, seeking a new multi-hundred-billion-dollar revenue stream, Cook began to focus again on cars. Apple executives weighing whether to enter the market joked with one another that they’d rather take on Detroit than a fellow tech giant: “Would you rather compete against Samsung or General Motors?” The profit margins in cars were far lower than in consumer electronics, but Apple was coming off a stretch during which it had reshaped not only the music industry but the mobile phone market. To its supporters, the idea of getting into automobiles had the potential to be, as one Apple executive puts it, “one more example of Apple entering a market very late and vanquishing it.” While the initial prototypes operated like traditional cars, these supporters eventually pursued more radical redesigns, invoking a transportation technology experience they said would “give people time back.” The ultimate plan was a living room on wheels where people who no longer needed to drive their cars could work or entertain themselves with Apple screens and services instead.

But before sketching out its own designs, Apple considered acquiring Tesla. At that point the electric-car maker’s success was far from assured, and its value was less than $30 billion, or a 20th of what it is today. Adrian Perica, Apple’s head of corporate development, held a series of meetings with Elon Musk. But Cook, who’d succeeded Jobs three years earlier, shut the deal down while negotiations were still at an early stage. Apple’s chief financial officer, Luca Maestri, formerly the General Motors CFO in Europe, argued that the car industry’s low margins were something the tech company couldn’t easily overcome.

Source: Compiled by Bloomberg

Although the Tesla idea was abandoned, the ambitions didn’t go away. Apple’s newly minted hardware chief, Dan Riccio, received approval to start building a car engineering team, and he hired hundreds of engineers from the auto industry for what came to be known as Project Titan. The team working on the car was called the Special Projects Group. Within the company, it was difficult to find spare engineering talent, with attention focused on preparing for the upcoming Apple Watch release and, later, the iPhone X, but Riccio managed nonetheless to poach several dozen engineers from other projects. Early on, Jay Leno gave the team a tour of his garage for inspiration and a minor lesson in automotive history. Around this time, Riccio, rallying his troops, often would close with “Boys, let’s go build a car!”

The infighting began almost immediately. Maestri, the CFO, remained a skeptic, as did Craig Federighi, Apple’s software engineering chief, who had to donate personnel to what he considered a vanity project. Jony Ive, Apple’s design chief at the time, was more ambivalent, pushing for full driving autonomy but also expressing doubts about the wisdom of the endeavor. Some car fans on the Apple leadership team, including the company’s marketing executives, were resistant to building a product that didn’t look and feel like a car. Services head Eddy Cue suggested that it might be more prudent to just try to make a better Tesla rather than invent an entirely new category of machine.

Similar disagreements played out within Project Titan itself. Steve Zadesky, a former Ford engineer and iPhone executive in charge of much of the car effort, imagined the company starting off with limited self-driving features that could then be improved. Others held fast to Level 5. Perica, the mergers-and-acquisitions chief who’d pushed to buy Tesla, told the Apple car team that the company should build “the first bird,” not “the last dinosaur.” When the group first began staffing up in 2015, the goal was to bring something to market by 2020.

Under Ive, the microbus design emerged. The interior would be covered in stainless steel, wood and white fabric. Ive wanted to sell the car only in white and in a single configuration so it would be instantly recognizable, like the original iPod he’d designed. At one point, the group briefly discussed a more traditional SUV-like design, as well. The team’s secret facility in Sunnyvale, California, was packed with car cabin prototypes and simulators. “It looked like you entered Disneyland—it was chock-full of toys,” says someone who worked in the building.

The team played with several different ideas for the interior, including installing a pair of specialized touchscreens suspended with brackets from the ceiling to control the car from both sides of the cabin. It also engineered microphones to be placed outside the vehicle to bring external sounds into the cabin, something passengers in non-Apple cars did by rolling down a window. “They would add all sorts of crazy features to the car and then realize those were bad ideas and pull them back out, leading to another cockpit redesign,” says an Apple executive with knowledge of the frequent changes.

Throughout much of the process, Apple continued exploring partnerships. Riccio and Zadesky, years after Cook shot down buying Tesla, met with Musk to discuss ways they could collaborate, including the possibility of Tesla producing batteries for the Apple car. That prospect didn’t advance. Musk, who didn’t respond to a request for comment for this story, at one point publicly called Apple a “Tesla graveyard” full of engineers he’d fired. A few years later, he tried to restart talks with Cook as Tesla struggled to build the Model 3. Musk has said the Apple CEO wouldn’t meet.

Talks with Mercedes-Benz progressed further. For a few months, Apple and the German automaker actively worked on a partnership similar to the Tesla idea, but with a twist. Mercedes would manufacture Apple’s vehicle, while it would also sell its own cars with Apple’s self-driving platform and user interface. Apple eventually pulled out, in part because the early work gave its executives confidence they could build a car on their own, people involved in the failed deal say.

At other points, Apple held exploratory acquisition talks with car companies beyond Tesla. The closest it got to a deal was with McLaren. Some Apple executives believed that scooping up the British automaker, which makes a few thousand cars by hand each year and sells them to the super rich, would excite Jony Ive, who’d scaled back his involvement at Apple after the launch of the Apple Watch, and reengage him with the company. The proposed deal, before it fell apart, would have provided Ive with a new design studio in London. Other discussions with BMW AG and, much later, Canoo Inc.—an electric-vehicle startup with a decidedly Apple-esque design aesthetic—went nowhere.

By 2016, Apple hadn’t gotten far, and internal advocates of scaling back its car ambitions began to win out. After the board of directors and senior executives began questioning the program’s viability and asking pointed questions about its costs, there were discussions about shutting down the project. But then Riccio convinced Bob Mansfield, a legendary figure at the company for leading the hardware development of the original MacBook Air and iPad, to come out of semi-retirement to shake things up.

Mansfield was among the car skeptics at Apple. His task, as he saw it, was to find out what could be salvaged from the effort. After a few months of evaluation, he decided to focus more attention on the self-driving system than on a car itself. Autonomous software, he argued, could benefit Apple in other areas, even if the company never made an actual vehicle. Other executives, notably Perica, thought Apple could license such an AI system to other carmakers without dirtying its hands in the auto business itself. Over an 18-month period from 2016 to mid-2018, Apple laid off about 120 people, a significant portion of the car project’s head count, according to people with knowledge of the cuts. FieldPhotographer: Ulysses Ortega

Before Mansfield persuaded Field, the former Tesla executive, to take over for him, he and Cook did manage to agree on an interim direction for the company’s autonomous driving efforts: a self-driving shuttle made in collaboration with Volkswagen for Apple employees to use at its new headquarters in Cupertino, California. That project didn’t come to fruition, either. It was seen as a distraction, and Field shut it down. He also eventually shuttered Apple’s work on batteries and other components he felt Apple could just buy off the shelf.

Field - Photographer: Ulysses Ortega

Under Field, full autonomy continued to be a focus even as it grew to seem less attainable. The Arizona demonstration, which the team spent nine months preparing for, was essentially a proof of concept. The team tweaked the prototype software to take turns and curves slower than usual, to make extra sure it wouldn’t injure Cook. “It was well scripted and well laid out,” says someone involved in its creation. “The intent was to show Tim that if we built this product, this is what it would look like for the customer.” (Apple bought the Arizona test track outright a year after the demo.) The team spent a lot of time working on backup controls for such a car so that a driver could extract it from tricky road situations, such as a complex construction zone. The most fully developed steering wheel substitute looked like the controller that comes with an Xbox. “It should have been either all autonomy or a wheel and pedals,” one person involved in the car’s development says, adding that the company spent a lot of time working on ways to mitigate the issue rather than on the hard problem itself.

There were other, smaller dead ends over the course of the project. Apple started planning a multi-acre engineering campus in Silicon Valley where it would design cars, but never broke ground. At one point, Apple and Ford met to discuss a proposal from the American automotive giant to sell Apple cars from its Lincoln brand, an unglamorous make that’s well-represented in rental fleets, to test the self-driving system. The talks didn’t progress past an early meeting.

For Field, Mansfield and others on the team, Cook’s indecision was frustrating. “If Bob or Doug ever had a reasonable set of objectives, they could have shipped a car,” says someone who was deeply involved in the project. “They’d ask to take the next step, and Tim would frequently say, ‘Get me more data, and let me think about it.’” In that setting, it was hard to retain talent: engineers Apple hired for the project would grow convinced things weren’t going anywhere and find jobs elsewhere. After Mansfield retired, the company tried another leadership change to boost the self-driving system. It put Williams, the COO, and John Giannandrea, Apple’s machine learning chief, in charge of overseeing Field and the project. Field left a year later, in September 2021.

Bloomberg News reported on this photo of a Lexus SUV equipped with early Apple self-driving technology back in 2017. Source: Bloomberg

Under Lynch, Apple never got to a streetworthy prototype. The self-driving technology in the company’s fleet of customized Lexus SUVs did show enough promise that there were plans to expand it to more cities in late 2024, according to people with knowledge of the plan. The idea had always been to sell self-driving as a subscription service, as Tesla does with its driver-support features. Other paid add-ons, such as Apple Music and Apple TV+ streamed to the vehicle, would help make up for the uninspiring margins on car hardware. (Some internal estimates pegged Apple’s cost to produce the car at about $120,000, far more than the $85,000 the company had wanted to charge for it.)

Last year, Apple pivoted one last time. Designs were tweaked to move from Level 5 down to Level 2, the level of Tesla’s current Autopilot, which can control both speed and steering but is assistive technology for drivers rather than their replacement. In keeping with that, the new design also incorporated a more traditional automotive interface: a steering wheel and pedals. “They finally smartened up,” says an Apple executive. “I was like, ‘Guys, you could have done this 10 years ago!’”

But the company had ended up where it began a decade earlier, with a product little different from what was already on the market and a basic, not-great self-driving system. “Kevin Lynch is a sensible person,” says an Apple executive involved in the car decision making. “He tried to bring a pragmatic view to it.” When asked, he made clear that true autonomy might be another decade off. He seems to have finally convinced Apple’s leadership that that was a problem without an affordable or reliable solution in the foreseeable future.

Lynch delivering the keynote address at Apple’s Worldwide Developer Conference in 2019.

Recently, members of the Apple car organization were studying how the company would produce the less-advanced car. It considered working with Magna International Inc., which builds some models for Jaguar, BMW and Mercedes. But the indecision at the top of the company filtered down, sapping morale. Apple declined to comment for this story, as did BMW, Ford, McLaren and VW. The former Apple executives named in this story didn’t respond to requests for comment. Neither did Canoo or Mercedes.

Around the beginning of 2024, Cook, who’s known for making decisions based on consensus, began seriously considering shutting down the project. “That’s when you started to see members of the leadership of Titan look for jobs at other companies and within Apple,” says someone with knowledge of the matter. People working on powertrains and other car-related engineering products began to depart.

On the evening of Monday, Feb. 26, the roughly 2,000 employees of Apple’s Special Projects Group received an email announcing a 10 a.m. all-hands meeting the next day. On Tuesday morning, the employees gathered in conference rooms and at desks at Apple’s Silicon Valley offices were told that Project Titan was winding down immediately. Lynch and Williams broke the news on a video call, and they didn’t explain the decision.

The meeting lasted about 12 minutes. Both men thanked the staffers for their work and got straight to the reorg and layoffs. Some employees would immediately get shifted to Apple’s AI division, and some would move over to software engineering. A chunk of the team, though, was immediately without a job. Hardware engineers would have the opportunity to apply for roles in other groups, but there aren’t spots for everyone. Other employees, such as the hundreds of car-specific engineers, test track technicians, self-driving car testers and automotive safety experts, received emails with their severance packages. As for the Arizona track, Apple is already working to sell it.

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orangeoctopi7 · 4 years ago

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They’re Good Dogs, Stan

@forduary Week 2 is Fluff and Angsty, but this is ALL FLUFF! I’ve seen tons and tons of Gravity Falls AUs with Werewolf!Stan, but none with Ford as a werewolf. So I wanted to write one. I could’ve gone for Paranoid, pre-portal incident Ford and all the good angst that’d come with that, but I’m already a week behind, so pure fluff it is! * * *

Mid-September, 2013. Another summer has come and gone, the kids are back home in Piedmont, and the elder Pines twins are preparing for their next voyage. After a busy day of gathering supplies, Stan is ready to take the afternoon off. But Ford wouldn’t be Ford if he didn’t jump at every opportunity to study something strange. He’d gone off on his own, mentioning something about checking on a werewolf theory for Soos. Stan, after confirming that it was still a couple of days until the full moon, decided to stay home and catch a nap on the porch, enjoying the first cool evening in months.

It was now an hour later, and while the sun still hadn’t set, Stan was starting to get a little worried. If the supposed werewolf really wasn’t any trouble, surely his brother would’ve been back by now. Ford may have the tendency to get caught up in his work, but he wasn’t exactly the type to let a conversation or interview drag on and on.

In an effort to distract himself from worrying, Stan decided to help Soos wrap up the last tour of the day. He’d just seen the last bus off when he noticed a large, hump-backed animal moving through the forest.

"What is that, a moose?" He squinted through the trees, trying to get a better look at it to see if it was something dangerous. It definitely went on four legs, so not a Manotaur. The only other thing that big around here that went on four legs was that Bear-bear friend of Dipper's, and he was a dark brown color. Whatever this was, its fur glinted silvery grey in the late afternoon sun.

Whatever it was, it was moving fast, and making its way towards the clearing that housed the Mystery Shack. In just a few seconds, Stan thought he could make out what it was, but his cataracts had to be playing tricks on him.

It wasn’t a moose. It was a wolf the size of a moose.

The closer it got, the more weird details he noticed about it. He’d never heard of a wolf with curly fur, and was it wagging its tail?

Where the heck was Ford? He’d love to see this. This was probably some giant’s pet woofdle (Half wolf half poodle).

Wait...

Stan looked up at the almost full moon hanging just above the trees as the sun began to set.

He looked back at the running wolf just in time to see it burst out of the trees and tackle him to the ground, knocking the wind out of him.

The wolf licked his face enthusiastically as he tried to catch his breath again.

“Ford, you didn’t!”

The fact that the wolf looked guilty was all the answer he needed.

* * *

When Soos shared his theory that the mailman was a werewolf with Ford, the old researcher had jumped at the opportunity. Here was a man who, from the looks of it, would have been a child when Ford first came to Gravity Falls.

This meant one of two things: One, there had been child werewolves in Gravity Falls when he first started his research here, and he somehow completely missed it; or Two, this man had been turned to a werewolf in the last 30 years, which meant there had been an increase in werewolf activity while Ford was on the other side of the portal. Either way, Ford was very excited to ask him some questions.

He’d dashed off from the Mystery Shack, barely stopping to let Stanley know where he was going and confirming that the full moon wasn’t for a few more days.

Once he arrived at the mail-man’s house, Ford knocked enthusiastically. The seconds slowly ticked by as he waited, but no answer came. After counting to 100, Ford knocked again, a little more insistently. He heard something moving behind the door. He started pounding on the door, and didn’t let up.

Finally, he heard several bolts being undone.

“Hey, you need to leave in the next…” The stout red-haired man flipped open his phone and checked an app, “Two minutes.”

“Oh.” Ford answered with mild surprise. “Well, I’ll cut straight to the chase then! I wanted to know if there was any truth to the rumors that you might be a werewolf!”

The man gave Ford a confused look before answering. “Stick around for another minute and a half and you’ll find out.”

“Really!? But it won’t be a full moon for another three days! And sunset won’t be for another hour and a half!”

“No, but the moon’s rising in about a minute. Seriously, you need to leave.”

Ford’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. “Would you be willing to let me observe your transformation? It would be an unprecedented scientific opportunity!”

“Nope, too dangerous.”

With that, the man slammed the door in Ford’s face. He heard several bolts and locks being re-done. For a brief moment, Ford was reminded of a less pleasant time in his own life, when he himself had locked himself in his own house like that, both for his own protection and for the protection of the world outside.

The old researcher shook the thought out of his head. This was nothing like that.

Honestly, he just wanted to observe. It wasn’t like he was looking for trouble. He had survived for years in the multiverse, he could just peek through the window of a werewolf!

Luckily there were plenty of windows on the second floor that had the blinds and curtains wide open, presumably to let in plenty of sunlight. Or perhaps to let in plenty of moonlight? That was one of many theories he’d have to ask the man about once the moon had set again. Whatever the case, these windows would be perfect points of observation.

Ford climbed a nearby tree to get a better look into the werewolf’s home. He couldn’t see the transformation from here, but he could see what appeared to be the entire hind leg of an elk hanging by a couple of ropes in one room. Interesting… obviously this man prepared food for his wolf form, presumably to prevent any chance of the werewolf hunting local townsfolk or livestock, but why hang it in such a position? It wasn’t so high that the werewolf couldn’t reach it, but it would obviously take more work.

Well, he wasn’t going to see the transformation for himself from this window. The old researcher readied himself to jump to the tiny balcony in front of the next nearest window. Hopefully he’d find what he was looking for there.

The old man took a leap-- misjudged the springiness of the branch beneath his feet-- and crashed through the window.

Ford picked himself up off the floor with a groan. That window should not have broken so easily. Surely, the home of a werewolf should be better fortified! He would have to block the window with something if he didn’t want a werewolf loose on the town. He was looking for a bookshelf or cabinet he could push in front of the opening, when he heard a low snuffling sound, followed by an angry growl.

A reddish-brown wolf, twice the size of any Ford had ever seen, with an abnormally large cranium, was standing at the top of the stairs, glaring daggers at him. Ford was torn between reaching for his blaster to protect himself, or reaching for the new journal Mabel had made for him to start writing down observations.

Drat, I missed the transformation. He thought to himself. So it must be a rapid process. I wonder if that makes it more or less painful?

The wolf growled again, hackles raised, and Ford finally pulled out his blaster, being sure to set it to stun. After all, it wasn’t the wolf’s fault he’d stumbled into the wolf’s territory.

Unfortunately, pulling a gun, even a sci-fi looking one, was the wrong move. The wolf lunged at him before he could pull the trigger, fangs sinking into his forearm. Ford yelled with pain, punching and kicking the beast to get it to let go.

The pain of the bite was soon replaced with a strange twitching, rippling, itching sensation, that quickly radiated outward from the wound. He looked down and noticed the hair on his arm growing thicker.

Well, it looks like I’ll get to observe the transformation after all! He thought as he fell to his knees.

* * *

Stan was absolutely flabbergasted by the moose-sized wolf currently pawing at his fridge. It barely fit in the room, and he was pretty sure that wagging tail was going to knock the table over.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, you’re hungry.” Stan muscled his way past the mountain of fur and pulled out an entire container of bologna that hadn’t even been opened yet. “Here.” he peeled the seal off the package and tossed a slice like a little frisbee. Wolf!Ford snapped it up in one bite. He looked expectantly at Stan and gave a pathetic little whine, hoping for another.

“Uh, I dunno if you should even be eatin’ this stuff when you’re like that.” Stan protested. “Pretty sure wolves aren’t supposed to eat people food.”

The wolf gave a little huff, but nodded in agreement. And wasn’t that wild, seeing a curly-haired wolf just make a human gesture like that?

The wolf headed back to the back porch door. He pawed the doorknob, like it was instinctual, but gave a little annoyed grunt when he apparently remembered he didn’t have thumbs. Next he tried to grasp the doorknob between his jaws.

“Oh no you don’t!” Stan shouted. “I don’t want teeth-marks all over my doorknobs! Or wolf drool, for that matter!”

Wolf!Ford shot him another guilty look and whined plaintively. Stan sighed and opened the door for him.

“I just let you in, what the heck do you want out again for?”

The wolf made a series of grunts and groans that were probably supposed to mean something, but Stan didn’t get any of what he was trying to say.

“Whatever, just don’t go too far.”

* * *

The wolf actually rolled its eyes. Stan didn’t even think wolves could do that. Of course, this was a werewolf, so maybe it could do things a normal wolf couldn’t. It dashed away into the forest.

“Hey! I said don’t go too far!” Stan shouted after him. The wolf was already out of sight. The old con man groaned. “Alright, fine, just be careful!” Stan yelled even louder, hoping his transformed brother could still hear him.

Ford was hungrier than he’d been since coming back to his home dimension, and while the slice of bologna had been tasty, it had been far from filling. Besides, Stan was right. Wolves probably shouldn’t eat processed meats. He was going to have to go hunting!

He took in a deep breath, enjoying all the diverse smells that had opened up to him with his transformation, trying to differentiate the smell of wild game from the smell of Farmer Sprott’s farm animals.

It’s probably a good thing Mabel took Waddles home with her before this happened. Ford thought.

He was able to pick out the scent of what he thought might be a mule deer. He snuck through the forest, finding that he could be surprisingly quiet for something so large. He got close enough to the mule deer that he could see the tiny twitching movements of its nose sniffing the air when it finally noticed him. When it finally caught his scent, it bounded away in an instant, and Ford gave chase.

As exhilarating as the case felt, there was also a sense of wrongness to it. He knew instinctively that he shouldn’t, couldn’t hunt on his own, and he found himself wishing desperately that Stanley was with him, even if he knew on some level that his brother wouldn’t want to hunt a deer and probably wouldn’t be much help even if he did.

The wind changed direction and a new scent, strange yet familiar, caught his attention. It was the synthetic, sterile smell of a human mixed with the pungent, musky smell of a wolf, not unlike his own. And he’d smelled it earlier, right after his transformation.

It was the mailman!

Another werewolf, stockier and more reddish brown than silver gray, was running through the forest, scaring the mule deer back in Ford’s direction with a loud howl. Now he wasn’t alone. Now the hunt felt right.

The deer zig-zagged between the two of them before the mailman finally came close enough to latch his jaws into its hind flank. It tried to kick the wolf off, but it had slowed enough that Ford was able to catch up himself, and then instinct completely took over. Before he knew it, the deer was dead on the ground, and the two werewolves were covered in blood, happily sharing the meal they’d taken down together. The one doe wasn’t enough to feed two enormous werewolves, but it definitely put more of a dent in Ford’s hunger than the slice of bologna had.

As they finished off the last of the deer carcase, the other wolf looked at Ford, and although no words were exchanged, a form of communication passed between them.

“You’re the idiot researcher who broke into my house.” The mailman didn’t seem angry, just bemused more than anything.

“It was an accident.” Ford’s tail and ears drooped.

“I told you to leave.” The mailman’s ears flattened and he gave a small annoyed growl. “But it is nice to go hunting with someone. I usually just hang up an elk flank for my own enrichment, so the local farmers and hunters don’t throw a tizzy, but this was much more fun!”

“I agree!” Ford wagged his tail, and his ears perked up again. “I’m still hungry, let’s find another deer!”

The two wolves continued to hunt together for another hour or so, taking down one more deer and finding a large nest of ground squirrels that finally filled them up. Eventually, dusk passed into full night, and the time that deer were the most active had passed.

“Well, we’d better do our best to cover our tracks and clean up after ourselves.” The mailman stretched and began burying the remains of the ground squirrels. “The local farmers and hunters will throw a tizzy fit if they realize there are a couple of wolves in town.”

“Is that why you usually lock yourself in your house?” Ford asked.

The other wolf nodded, and Ford was reminded that this was a man most of the time. “I’ve been chased by an angry mob a couple of times. Even shot at with silver bullets.”

“Really? Is there any truth to those old legends?”

“Well any bullet will kill you if it gets you in the heart or the brain.” the mailman replied with a growl. “Silver bullets will force you to transform back to normal, so as long as it’s not a serious injury, you’ll just heal while your body rearranges itself. I got shot in the hind leg, so the bullet just fell out as I transformed.”

“Faciniating! What is it about silver that causes the change? Is it just contact with silver in general, or does it have to be a bullet?”

Ford hadn’t realized that wolves could give blank stares like that. “No clue. I’m not rich enough to have access to pure silver.”

“Oh, it’s actually quite easy to precipitate out of Silver Nitrate, which you can purchase through most industrial chemical catalogs!”

* * *

It was getting late, and Stan was getting tired, but he was not going to bed until he knew Ford was safe. His brother had run off almost an hour and a half ago, and Stan had seen enough monster movies to worry what would happen to his brother if he ran into anyone else.

Unfortunately, following the wolf through the woods in the dark seemed more likely to get Stan into trouble than to get Ford out of it, so he decided to just keep vigil on the porch for now. He’d heard a few howls in the night, but nothing that sounded like a wolf in danger. He was just going to have to trust that his brother could take care of himself.

It was nearly midnight when Ford finally trotted out of the forest and into the light of the Mystery Shack’s back porch, dragging a mostly picked-clean deer carcase behind him.

“What the heck did you bring that back with you for!?” Stan exclaimed in disgust, looking at the trail of sineu, bones, and skin that now led up to the porch.

Ford looked expectantly between Stan and the carcase, nudging a bit of ribs that still had some meat on them closer to his brother.

“What are you thinkin’!? I’m not eatin’ that!”

The wolf actually did a double-take, as if he was just now remembering that his brother was a human who ate cooked meat that had already been butchered and prepared and sold in a supermarket, not the raw, still bloody remains of a deer that had been alive just three hours ago.

“I hope you realize, I’m not letting you in the house while you’re filthy like that.” Stan gestured to the dark brown dried blood that was flaking off Ford’s curly gray fur.

The wolf looked thoroughly shamed, and began licking the blood from his paws and muzzle, but there was a lot he couldn’t reach on his own. Stan rolled his eyes and grabbed the hose. It was way too late for this.

Ford gave a surprised yelp when Stan turned the hose on him, and he looked absolutely pathetic as he sat there and took it, the water making him look much skinnier and bedraggled. He whined pitifully as Stan placed his thumb over the end to increase the water pressure, and did his best to power-spray the remaining blood and dirt out of his brother’s fur. When he was finally satisfied that no deer guts would be tracked inside, he nodded with approval and turned the hose of.

The wolf’s tail hung low as he climbed up to the porch.

“Serves you right! You had me worried sick!” Stan reprimanded him. “And I should’ve been in bed two hours ago!”

The wolf gave another sad whine and tried to lick Stan’s face. He pushed his brother off, but also gave him an affectionate scritch behind his ear.

“Yeah yeah, it’s hard to stay mad at you when you’re a big fluffy dog.” He opened the door and let Ford back inside.

As soon as Stan closed the door behind him, Ford gave a tremendous shake, sending water flying everywhere, and absolutely soaking everything in the entryway, including Stan.

“Oh, I see how it is! You were just faking bein’ pathetic to take your revenge, huh?”

Ford wagged his tail and huffed, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Stan stomped up the stairs to take a shower, while Ford picked his way towards the laundry room. The wolf pulled a towel onto the floor and rolled around on it to finish drying himself off. He would help clean up the entryway, but he didn’t have any opposable thumbs, so there wasn’t much he could do.

* * *

Stan went to bed immediately after getting out of the shower. It had been an exhausting day. He’d deal with Ford’s stupid werewolf escapades in the morning. Hopefully, his brother would be back to normal by then.

He’d just been about to drift off to sleep when he felt something huge and hairy flop down on the mattress next to him. Apparently, werewolf!Ford didn’t want to sleep alone, and honestly, Stan was too tired to try and shove him off, so he just snuggled into the great mound of fur and drifted off to sleep.

A few hours later, a loud cracking sound, like someone popping all their joints at once, woke Stan with a start. It was still dark out, although the first few rays of light were appearing on the horizon. Stan realized he was suddenly colder too, as though someone had pulled a blanket off him. He suddenly realized that the giant furry mass that had been sleeping next to him all night had been replaced by plain old human skin and bones.

“Ford?” Stan asked, squinting in the twilight to try and see if his brother had indeed returned to normal.

“Ugh… ow… It’s like having all your joints dislocated and then relocated at once… Ah, so I’m fully capable of human speech again!” The old researcher stretched and felt himself over. “Oh dear… I seem to have left my clothes back where I first transformed!” He pulled Stan’s blanket over himself.

“S’not like I can see you anyway.” Stan yanked his blanket back. It was cold this morning, especially now that the living space heater werewolf form was gone! “Go back to your own room and grab your PJ’s.”

The bed creaked as Ford climbed out of it, and Stan saw the blurry silhouette of his brother pause in the doorway.

“Stanley, I… I’m sorry.”

“Didja get hurt?” Stan asked sleepily.

“No. In fact, it was an incredible experience!”

“Then I ain’t even mad. Just lemme go back to sleep, ok?”

“It’s just… I know I worried you. And I’m sorry for that.”

“Great. Apology accepted. Go to bed.”

* * *

After the craziness of last night, Stan didn’t wake until almost 10:30 the next morning. He stumbled into breakfast the next morning to find the kitchen table absolutely covered in Ford’s notes, and his brother in the middle of recounting his experience to Soos.

“... And I’m not sure if it was some sort of telepathy that all werewolves share, or if my inner human consciousness was just translating the wolves body language and pheromone communication, but we were able to communicate perfectly, even about complex concepts like chemistry and legends and angry mobs!”

“Oh, hey Stan!” Soos greeted him cheerfully. “Turns out I was totally right about that mailman bein’ a werewolf!”

“Yeah, I’m aware.” Stan rolled his eyes and grabbed a packet of oatmeal.

“I promise, I only went there to observe!” Ford assured him, “I had no intention of turning into a werewolf myself. But now that it’s happened, I’ll actually be able to observe and study werewolves first-hand! Which is perfect, because there’s still so much we don’t know! Obviously, it doesn’t have to be a completely full moon to trigger the transformation, so how full does it have to be? How is the transformation transmitted from one person to the next?”

“How are you gonna take notes while you’re a wolf?” Stan pointed out.

Ford opened his mouth to answer, but quickly realized he didn’t have one.

“Oh, dude we should get you one of those sound boards like that one dog on the internet has!” Soos suggested. He pulled out his phone and showed them a video illustrating his point.

“Hmm, I’m sure I could ask Fiddleford to rig up something like this, but a full keyboard!” Ford nodded as he watched the video. “I’m still myself as the wolf, so I should be able to spell out what I want to say. We could even connect it to a computer, so I can type!

“If you’re still yourself, then why the heck did you try and bring me back a deer last night?” Stan asked grumpily.

“Ah…” Ford blushed. “Well, I still retain my typical level of intelligence, it just seems there’s quite a lot of wolf instinct that gets superimposed on top of that.”

“Great.” Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. “So, I get that you’re excited to learn more about how werewolves work and all that, but what about after that? Are you just gonna stay a werewolf forever, or is there a cure?”

“Well, last night, the mailman mentioned that getting shot with a silver bullet in the leg will change you back without doing any lasting harm.”

“Yeah, I’m not shooting you every time your transformation is inconvenient.”

“But he wasn’t sure if just any contact with pure silver would do the trick. That’s just one of many things I’ll have to research in the future!”

Stan swallowed a mouthful of oatmeal. “We’d better call the kids. I can’t wait to see the look on Mabel’s face when she finds out you transform into a giant silver poodle under the full moon!”

#Gravity Falls #Fanfiction #Forduary 2021 #Stanford Pines #Stanley Pines

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lev1than · 6 years ago

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10 Famous Inventions that were the particular culmination regarding other people’s work

An unclean (yet open) secret regarding innovation is most wonderful breakthroughs seldom happen due to a single only genius.

Whereas history is rife with stories with famous inventors, who are generally national game characters, in almost every event they were just the first reduce weight improve a preexisting system to your final level where the item achieved muscle appeal.

Imagine how research discoveries with hundreds of years in the past inspired the works for subsequent ages of professionals.

Or what sort of iPod changed personal song thanks to the actual combination of advancement in the despropósito fields about digital favorite songs compression, hard drive miniaturization, affordable ARM microprocessors and other sorts of technological innovations.

1. Galileo and the telescope

Even while Galileo is normally credited having devised the main telescopes, there was actually a good Dutch individual called Hans Lippershay who had been making addition devices making use of the ever bettering qualities of glassmaking at the moment.

Allegedly, Galileo heard about all these and chosen to build his personal, even generating some changes in the process. Having been also the first person to work with these brand-new optics being a scientific musical instrument, which is where his true value was initially added.

2. James Watt and the steam engine

While I was in secondary school, my scientific research teacher thought it was funny individuals “What was the name of the man who seems to invent the particular steam website? ” Very funny, because “Watt” was the reply, so the problem was a fashionable statement.

Merely steam applications predated Watt’s design just by almost 58 years. Brit Thomas Savery patented the very first steam serps design for 1698, to take out water from coal fosse. Subsequently, Jones Newcomen superior the design to function at atmospheric pressure, of which became the normal design for concerning 50 years.

Watt’s real advancement was building the program with an independent condenser, which made the full process now more efficient.

3. Eli Whitney and the cotton gin

During periods of captivity in the USA, Georgia predominantly expanded cotton that had quicker fibers. The didn’t are very effective with the products at the time which usually tried to take away seeds on the fibers (roller gins), plus required a great deal of manual job. So the point out of Ga sponsored a good engineering force to come up with an improved design.

Whitney improved within the roller gins by updating the sturdy rollers by using wire your teeth.

While this drastically improved manufacturing ability with regard to cotton, this also had typically the sad complication of increasing the requirement for slaves to a fella the career fields.

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4. Elisha Otis and the elevator

Equipment capable of working out with people straight into tall architectural structures has endured since the early Egyptians. And since the industrial wave and the regarding cities triggered taller homes being designed, people started to be tired of being forced to climb various flights associated with stairs. And so elevators had been invented, applying either steam or power engines which often pulled uplifts with ropes.

However, rules have a tendency to bust. And even having an elevator just one or two stories excessive, if the rope broke so you plummeted while using carriage it will result in no less than severe personal injury, if not the loss of life.

Otis truly invented the safety break, which will stop often the elevator through crashing when it was initialized by quick falling every time a rope got destroyed. This took off a major potential for death coming from buildings tall than several stories and even spurred around the building in the first skyscrapers.

5. Thomas Edison and the light bulb

It's perhaps the most popular invention in recent history, and its sign actually sums up the concept of a notion.

And yet, Youngsters Edison didn’t invent the sunshine bulb. Not necessarily the wine glass bulb, or perhaps the glowing filament inside it. They merely better the previous styles to the point that they can become otc practical, in 1880.

The initial electric light product, called a great Arc-Lamp, was made by Humphry Davy with regards to 78 decades before in which but did not last long together with was too bright. Throughout 1850, Ernest Swan has seen that carbonized paper was much better stuff for a filament and put to use them to help make light bulbs. But he could not get the design to be more effective or durable.

After furthermore experimentation, both equally Swan and Edison uncovered subsequently more beneficial materials, and ultimately their a pair of companies amalgamated to market most of their new improved upon design jointly, though most of the people only recall Edison.

6. Guglielmo Marconi and the Radio

In the 1890s, both Marconi and Nikola Tesla have been fighting to formulate the radio. Tesla actually got more of the beginning patents to the technology. Still, the initial treasure of electromagnetic radiation was actually made seven years earlier by German researcher Heinrich Hertz, who was capable to both broadcast and acquire radio swells in his research laboratory.

However, the guy couldn’t imagine any sensible applications regarding his knowledge.

It was after Marconi who has been able to acquire all these technological innovations and switch them perfectly into commercial merchandise.

7. Henry Ford and the car

Honda released the exact Model Testosterone levels in 1908, and it is the first auto to gain block market elegance and good results at a time any time many people nonetheless traveled through the horse.

Nonetheless, the car while powered simply by an internal combustion engine was really created by Karl Benz within 1885, and many other engineers, therefore, improved about the design for greater efficiency, coziness performance.

Precisely what Ford reached was improve production technique of the machine. Her assembly line advanced production productivity significantly, slashing the cost of every single unit for a price point in which people could possibly actually have the funds for it.

8. The Wright Brothers and the airplane

Teens have been hoping to see flight intended for eons. Via Leonardo Kc Vinci’s sketches of hovering machines to story regarding Icarus, many people desired to clear themselves on the shackles involving gravity.

And then the Wright Brothers were not really the only people of their time to try and establish a machine competent at powered airline flight.

George Cayley was the first person to move via designs regarding flapping similar to birds towards a “fixed wing” design. Yet another engineer referred to as Otto Lilienthal then implemented a lot of those models to create genuine gliders through fixed wings and examining them, putting together a lot of files which the Wright Brothers would likely subsequently usage.

Additionally, the very Wright Siblings were able to implement another the latest invention within the time: the internal combustion algorithm from vehicles. They were all-around at just the right age when this kind of became offered.

Their real innovation was a student in their patterns which authorized their planes to actually always be steered as well as controlled. And also rest is usually history.

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9. Philo Farnsworth and the TV

An excellent sort of an invention that had been only probable thanks to quite a few other pioneering technological advances across market sectors.

Farnsworth had the ability to take the trends of the cathode ray tubing (by Ferdinand Braun) and also combine them with an approach to scan graphics using electrons which the person apparently started out thinking of inside high school.

This design likewise outperformed other competing TV SET technology at that moment: mechanical TELEVISION SET.

10. Bill Gates and the Graphical User Interface

Beginning computer systems were being primarily command-line driven, this means you had to know every one of the inputs for you to type right keyboard in order to the machine that which you wanted it all to do.

A lot of people credit Roshan Windows utilizing introducing the globe to the Gui (GUI), which you could use a rabbit to just click on-screen materials to tell it again what to do, making the whole course of action much more simple.

However, much of the progress throughout GUI growth happened very much earlier. Some sort of pioneer was basically Douglas Engelbart, who exhibited an Operating System which has a mouse pointer in 1968. This plan was subsequently taken up by simply Xerox, exactly who released their valuable Alto pcs which were the 1st with a duck and GUI.

As figures go, Apple’s Steve Work opportunities saw an Alto when visiting Xerox’s PARC study center along with inspired him or her to make sure the main Apple Macintosh personal computer would have some GUI, the initial mass-market GUI computers. This unique then flat the way to the even more business-focussed Intel Windows Main system, which got the idea absolutely mainstream.

#inventors #creators #beat maker #inventhelp #invention ideas

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soundofez · 5 years ago

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for @mastar-week 2020, day 3// legacy

yet another star-centric side story to We Fill the Skies, set as always in the Leagues & Legends universe. i have a lot of emotions for both max albarn and sebastian black and i need to compensate for how little screen time they had.

(slight spoilers to we fill the skies, btw, but who cares about that when you can have Feelings.)

—

Max Albarn was usually all wiry strength and indomitable pride, a ramrod straight spine and perfect square posture, but now his back was bowed, his shoulders quietly sloped. Oscar had never realized before how thin his classmate was, how small and fragile. It looked wrong.

He turned back to his paper. They weren't friends, he reminded himself. And Albarn had plenty, anyway, if he needed a shoulder to cry on.

- We Fill the Skies, Chapter 2: Promises to Keep

—

Sebastian Black was tired.

It wasn’t the exhaustion of travelling for two weeks— travelling didn’t tire Seb like that. Seb didn’t get tired, usually, except from Elsewhere storms, and that wasn’t exhaustion so much as it was nauseated sickness, brought on by the feeling of magic trying to escape from his body to that mysterious other plane via fishhoks in his gut.

Seb didn’t get tired, except that now he was.

He hadn’t seen the note when he’d gotten back— it had been late, and he hadn’t want to wake the roommate he’d thought asleep in the next room. Instead, he’d crashed straight into his bed and gone to sleep himself, already looking forward to catching up in the morning.

Now, the desert sun was shining through the kitchen window, promising a hot day. Seb stood at the kitchen table, note in hand, and he was tired.

Papa died, the note read. I’m taking his ashes back to the Forest. Be back a week before classes start.

—

Seb was the only University affiliate to come home from the expedition. He didn’t like thinking about that, about how his professor and his classmate had gone missing, about how the other three students had all stayed behind while he’d gone home like a coward.

They hadn’t told him, either. That’s what hurt the most, if he thought too hard: that they’d simply agreed without him. And maybe Seb hadn’t talked to Ford much, but he’d spent every day with Kilik and Casper, and still they’d said nothing. They’d waited until the last second to tell him, too late for him to do anything, when even the Academy people had seemed to know what they were up to. They hadn’t given him a choice.

Max hadn’t told him, either, back before they’d even left on the expedition. Max had been chosen, not Ford, and yet when Seb had first arrived at the announced point of departure, he’d found Ford waiting there instead.

“What are you doing here?” Seb had asked.

“He didn’t tell you?” Ford had replied. “He gave me his place on the expedition.”

Max hadn’t told him. Seb hadn’t admitted that to Ford, had ignored Ford’s silent pity. It wasn’t Ford’s business.

And Ford had seemed to agree. They’d talked on the expedition— the group was too small for them not to— but Seb had kept him at a steady distance, even as he’d listened with rapt attention to Ford’s many stories.

Maybe he shouldn’t have kept that distance. Maybe Ford would have said something if he had.

Seb didn’t do regret. The concept was anathema to him. You couldn’t change the past: your only option was to do your best in the present. He got frustrated with Max, sometimes, because Max seemed to regret everything.

Seb didn’t do regret, and he wasn’t about to start. He stuffed some coin into his pocket and left the empty apartment to find some food.

—

Ford wrote to him first.

Seb was surprised. He wasn’t much for letters, preferring action instead. (Max scolded him for this all the time, but Seb was vaguely aware of the hypocrisy. Seb wasn’t the one who furiously applied twice to the University with different genders to prove a point, and then had to scramble for housing when the point was proved.)

Seb wasn’t stupid. He knew he wasn’t normal, not just because his already-rare gift for magic was especially strong, but because his mind ran on different tracks from everyone else. His classmates teased him for asking dumb questions in class, but Seb had some of the best grades in the University, and it was only a little bit because Max helped him study. (You’re an auditory learner, Max had once told him. There’s nothing wrong with that.)

Point being, Seb could read, he just didn’t like to because it took so much effort. It was with some surprise that he found his eyes on Ford’s neat signature, having devoured the rest of the letter. He’d enjoyed listening to Ford’s stories during the expedition, but he hadn’t expected the enjoyment to transfer to Ford’s writing.

His eyes dropped to the last line, tucked plainly under the signature:

P.S. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.

Seb read the postscript several times. It would be just like Ford to get it, the creep. He shook his head, but he grabbed a pen and paper from the kitchen’s junk drawer and sat down to write a reply.

When he was done with Ford’s letter, he grabbed more paper and started another.

—

Max’s letter came a day before Max did. It sounded almost normal, filled with their usual banter (You picked up a pen without me? Is there someone you want to tell me about?), but it also told Seb when Max would be home.

Seb spent the entire day at home doing chores. When he heard Max’s familiar footsteps on the stairs outside, he immediately positioned himself at the front door.

It worked. Max opened the door and walked directly into Seb’s open arms.

“You should have told me,” Seb grumbled into Max’s hair. It had grown since he’d last seen her. Underneath the smell of sweat and desert sand and sun was a hint of green earth. “I would’ve stayed.”

“I didn’t want you to,” Max mumbled, and burst into tears. “Damn it. Damn it.”

Seb hugged her tighter, rocking gently on his feet. “They didn’t wring you out in the Forest, did they?” he teases gently. “Amateurs.”

They didn’t bother untangling themselves as they sank onto the couch of their tiny living room. Seb shared memories of cool mountain air, of red dust seeping into his boots and staining his clothes, his chin knocking against the top of Max’s head. Max returned the favor, recalling the damp shade of the Forest’s enormous trees, the looming closeness of the canopy as it blocked out the stars, her breath warm against his collar.

When their stomachs growled, Seb shooed Max away to clean up while Seb toasted some bread with the Elsewhere’s fire. They settled around the kitchen table for a simple meal of buttered bread and a wedge of cheese, and this time Max asked after Ford.

Seb snorted. “Why do you care about that creep?”

Max shrugged. “He knows what he’s doing. After me, he’s the obvious choice.” She scowled. “And I want to make sure he didn’t mess around too much. I recommended him, so his performance affects me, too.”

“He stayed.”

Max looked up. “What?”

Seb’s throat was unexpectedly tight. He tore off a mouthful of bread, chewed slowly, swallowed. “It went wrong. The expedition.”

Max looked livid. “What did he do.”

Seb shook his head. “No, it wasn’t Ford’s fault, it was Kim.” He made a face.

Max’s anger didn’t complete subside, but she still snorted. “I should’ve known.”

Seb grinned at her, but the expression died quickly. “The expedition went wrong,” he repeated. “Everyone else... stayed in the mountains.”

Finally, Max seemed to sense his emotions. “What happened?” she asked.

Seb exploded, suddenly frustrated. “Nobody told me!” he snapped. “First Jack and Kim go missing, then Professor Montero disappears— they say he’s dead! And then we just— kept researching with Professor Yumi, and I thought maybe that was it, because what the hell was anyone supposed to do?

“Then, as we’re leaving, Kilik and Casper and Ford all say they’re staying, they have ‘relatives’ or something—” he adorned the words with finger quotes— “but I know they’re looking into it! And they didn’t tell me— they’d all let the University know, or something, but not me.

“Professor Yumi escorted me home. Just me!” He looked at his hands, dragged his fingers like claws through the air, yanking at the magic that hung there and everywhere else. Gold fire pooled into his palms. “Because I’m a mage. Because I’m powerful, but that puts me in danger up there, or something. But hey, Kilik got to stay, and he’s a better mage than me!” He ripped more and more gold from the air, snarled, “Stupid Sebastian doesn’t know anything, so why bother telling him?”

He quieted when Max wrapped her hands around his fingers. He was shaking, he noticed dimly. His vision was a golden blur. His lungs heaved with the effort of drawing so much raw magic.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I know I should have told you. I just— I couldn’t. Not then. I c-couldn’t say anything about Papa, not then, so I just... didn’t.”

Seb didn’t get it, not really. It felt like their differences surrounding regret: he simply didn’t look at the past, but Max overflowed with what-ifs and if-onlys. He sensed it now, something fundamentally different about them, that while he sought company to relieve his pain, Max retreated from people to... to drown in it, maybe. (To digest, Max would tell him later.)

Seb didn’t get it, but this wasn’t the first time he didn’t get something. At least he knew how to ask.

He breathed, and slowly the gold faded from his vision. All the remained was just Max, just Maka, his oldest friend.

“What happened?” he asked her, and this time she told him.

The bustle of the Albarn clan had felt so much like her Papa, yet not. Maka hadn’t grown up in the Forest, and Spirit Albarn hadn’t spoken of his family, only of his beloved wife, Maka’s mother. The Albarns had loved Maka, but she hadn’t been family like Spirit was. It had hurt, so much, to see her Papa’s smothering affection directed at everyone but her.

“I would have gone with you,” Seb said. (I would have smothered you, if only you’d told me to, he would have said, if only he could find the words.)

“I know,” Maka replied, and smiled sadly. “But it wouldn’t be the same.” But she let him hug her anyway, and instead of going to their separate rooms they curled up on the couch together and fell asleep catching up.

#soul eater #mastar week 2020 #mastar week #mastar #maka albarn x black star #fez scribbles #fez writes #guess! who! made themself cry again!!!#that's right it's this dumbass #i... don't know if this has any relevance to the prompt?? whoops #if anything this is all ox's legacy lmaooooo #speaking of!!! godDAMN do i love bashing ox now that i'm not stuck in his perspective #like. he is a Good Boy and i love him very much #but he is also Weird AF and i also love being able to Say It #we fill the skies #four fools and a fire

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detectivejigsawpines · 5 years ago

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A Pinesmas Carol-part 8 (Have Nagila)

The family sat around the kitchen table (Xander had to curl up on his mother’s lap, since one of the chairs had been smashed; Stan said he could pay for it, but neither Shermie nor Rebecca really seemed to hear him) as Stan and Ford did their best to explain in a way that wouldn’t freak them out more.

“...So let me get this straight,” Shermie said at last. “Gravity Falls is full of magic and monsters and stuff-”

“And maybe aliens; Ford thinks he found a crash site,” Stan added (not) helpfully.

“-and you guys have been studying them, and learning about things like-like spells that can change people into-that.” He pointed to the baby formerly known as Archer, who had been set in Xander’s old carrier on the floor nearby (Rebecca had even bothered to put him in a cloth diaper and a onesie), and the puppy who was sitting on Stan’s lap and playfully gnawing his fingers (the weasel had long been shooed outside, and the remains of his dinner properly disposed of).

Ford nodded. “...Well, I’ve been doing most of the actual research, but that’s basically the facts, yes.”

Xander’s eyes were wide with awe. “You guys are like wizards.” He climbed off Rebecca’s lap; before she could grab him back he scurried over to Stan and began petting the puppy, who wagged his tail and tried to climb into his arms.

Stan smiled. “Yeah, I guess we kinda are. Or at least Ford is; I’m just the guy who tricks ‘em into giving me money.”

The boy shrugged. “Same thing.”

“This is...definitely not what we were expecting,” Shermie said at last. “It’s...kind of a lot to take in.”

“Yeah, we know,” Ford admitted. “That’s why we didn’t tell you at first. We didn’t want to freak you out.”

“Too late,” their brother said dryly. But at least he seemed to have calmed down a little.

The three of them looked to Rebecca, who had been silent all this time. Her eyes were large and troubled, and her hands were nervously twisting together inside her sleeves.

At last she spoke, in tones that were sharp and clipped.

“The mother in me partly wants to accuse you of being reckless, dangerous men who are tampering with forces you don’t understand and demand that you stay the h_ll away from my child.”

Ford hadn’t been expecting how much that would hurt; it was a little like a sucker punch to the gut. Judging from Stan’s expression, it was just as bad for him: his mouth hung limply open for a second or two, before it widened like he was about to start protesting.

“On the other hand,” Rebecca cut him off, “she does recognize that you used those forces to save his life-to save all our lives. So-” she got up, and enveloped first Stan and then Ford in a warm, genuine hug, touching it up with a light kiss on the cheek- “thank you.”

Stan reddened, and let out a relieved-sounding laugh. “Eh, it was all Ford. I just got in a few lucky punches.”

****

Next day

“Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b-mitzvotav, v-tzivanu l’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah,” Shermie sang as he lit the first candle of the menorah. The rest of the family watched, enjoying the surprisingly cheerful glow. Even Stan, who was more than a little cynical towards the whole concept of religion, was smiling softly from his spot on the sofa.

Much to Ford’s relief, Rebecca’s overprotective mother side had not resurfaced with the light of day. Instead, she asked him more questions about beard cubs, and scampfires, and fairies (apparently many of her childhood fantasies had involved them, with the same fervor that other girls applied to unicorns), and her previous uneasiness about this side of the world being revealed to her seemed to dissipate as she learned more about them. She marveled over Ford’s illustrations in his (nearly full) journal, and said with a laugh that Gravity Falls sounded like his dream come true, since he was so attracted to the weird things in life.

“You have no idea,” he told her solemnly, which for some reason made her laugh again.

They ended up putting Archer in a basket purchased from the store, which was then dropped off at the local police station with only a warm blanket and the note “Please take care of my baby” included; Ford suspected his memories were probably rewound along with his body, so perhaps this would be a chance for him to have a fresh start at life.

The puppy, however, was another matter altogether. Xander had quickly latched on to him as his new best friend, despite Rebecca’s admonishments, and in no time at all they were tussling with Stan on the living room floor like it was meant to be.

“... ‘Tis the season?” Shermie said sheepishly when she gave him a look asking him to put a stop to this. “Lots of kids get puppies during Christmastime. Besides, can you really say no to that face?” He indicated their son, who was laughing and squirming in a futile effort to stop the puppy’s enthusiastic licking of his chin.

“And do you know how many of those puppies get sent back or abandoned because the kids decide they’re too much of a responsibility to handle? Besides, last night that puppy was a human being with a gun!”

“And now he’s a friendly dog who likes our son.”

She grumbled...but it was clear she’d lost the fight. And when the puppy tilted his head and looked up at her with big, innocent brown eyes, she grudgingly admitted that he was pretty cute, and went back to making potato latkes.

****

By the time Filbrick and Caryn Pines arrived at Shermie’s house, a few weeks later, there was no indication that their other children had ever been there-save for a package that Caryn was secretly handed by Shermie while Filbrick was upstairs putting the luggage in their room. It contained a packet of fancy-looking tarot cards, with a note: To: my favorite psychic. From: your favorite son.

Caryn smiled, a little tearily, and hid the packet in her purse before Filbrick came back, complaining that there was a dog on their bed, and when exactly had they decided to get a dog?

****

About an hour away, a bright red car pulled up in front of a small house. Stan leaned over and tapped Ford on the knee.

“We’re here, nerd. Wakey wakey.”

Ford groggily blinked his eyes open, and sat up-and froze when he realized that they were not, in fact, in Gravity Falls.

“Stanley, this isn’t home-”

The front door opened, and a head wearing a pair of round spectacles peered out in confusion. The eyes behind them widened.

“Stanford Pines, is that you?!” And the lanky man came strolling down the walk towards the car.

Stan grinned at his brother’s expression, which was somewhere between surprise, exasperation, and maybe just a tiny amount of happiness that he was trying his hardest to suppress.

“Stanley, I told you I didn’t want to-”

Fiddleford crouched down on Ford’s side of the car-then he saw Stan, and did a double-take.

“What the heck-?! You got a twin and you never told me?!”

“...It’s a long story, Fiddleford.”

“Well, Emma May and I love a good story-come on in!”

“I-you’re probably busy celebrating, I don’t-”

“It’s no trouble, really!”

Stan’s grin widened.

“Merry Christmas, Sixer.”

********

Fiddleford is naturally fascinated-and saddened-by Stan and Ford's tragic backstory, but glad to hear that they've become friends again. He's also interested to hear about all the things Ford's been studying in Gravity Falls, and like Shermie, says he'll have to bring his family up to visit sometime. He and Ford lose hours talking about nerd stuff, while Stan makes awkward small talk with a heavily pregnant Emma-May and tries not to snarf all the delicious Christmas cookies.

Despite Ford's protests about not wanting to impose, they're persuaded to stay for Christmas, and they get to hear Christmas carols Tennessee hog farmer style (hint: there is a lot of banjo playing involved).

And all in all, it's an enjoyable holiday for the boys.

#flipside au #gravity falls #stan pines #ford pines #shermie pines #au characters #Fiddleford McGucket #chrismukkah #happy holidays

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rmjagonshi · 5 years ago

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Why I haven’t updated Whole Again Yet

These are ideas that I have been typing up instead of writing like I should. So, At least I should share.

-Stan hits on Ford while he doesn’t know who Ford is-

-Dipper accidentally/awkwardly flirts with Ford, and after a few times, Ford notices and the resulting awkward conversation. Ford telling Dipper that he’s way too old, that he’s an adult, that Dipper is a kid and will live way longer than Ford, that Ford is messed up and not stable, that their family, etc. Similar to Wendy, they part amicably, friendly, and Dipper gets a big hug, they cuddle for a while before he sends Dipper to bed

-Dipper confronts Stan about being with Ford; corrupting him with his gross perverted desires. Dipper thinks he’s manipulating Ford, when it was Ford who wanted Stan, who had to convince Stan to be ok with this. Ford walks in on Dipper confronting Stan and stops the tirade. (After the + ending of Dipper’s confession?) You don’t need to defend my honor, I want this. Stan didn’t force me into anything.-

-Fiddleford gets upset over the portal and leaves. Ford gets desperate and sends Stan a postcard. Stan comes as he’s asked but runs into Fiddleford when asking for directions, since Gopher Road is way outside of town. Fiddleford recognizes Stan (even though Ford never told Fiddleford about Stan) and they got to the house. Fiddleford follows Stan in and they all argue, Fidds and Ford go back and forth and Stan is left to try and piece together what’s going on until they all hear whispering. Ford flips, but when Fidds and Stan ask him what it is, he breaks down and explains. They read his notes on Bill, listen to his stories and Ford tells them about his deal. Ford asks Stan to take his journal and go, but Fidds disagrees. He agrees with Stan to burn it instead. Fidds wants them to burn all the journals and for Ford to publish his less demonic findings. Ford is panicking about losing his research and starts to lose control to Bill. Fidds and Stan talk to Bill, noticing his eye color, and restrain Ford. Bill taunts Stan and Fidds (for different reasons) and Stan gets angry enough to kick Bill out of Ford via Ford’s sensitive body (i.e. tickles or something(Ford pops a boner?)) They get unicorn hair though trickery (Fidds kid) and seal the house. Years later, Fidds is happily married and inventing and Stan and Ford catalog the paranormal in Gravity Falls. Ford the scientist and Stan the museum curator with exhibits and such.

-Dipper and Mabel accidentally break the time tape and end up in “1960-something” Glass Shard Beach and meet up with Stan and Ford. All same age. They have some adventures and try to fix the tape by ‘borrowing’ a screwdriver from Pines Pawns and they get chased by the time police. Ford fixes it and they all get sent back to present day Gravity Falls. The carnival has closed, Soos won Waddles for Mabel since she likes pigs. Stan, Soos and Wendy spend the evening looking for Dipper and Mabel and they find all four kids. Stan recognizes Ford (at first the kids think it’s Filbrick), and doesn’t know what to say or do. Even though they get caught with the tape and it gets confiscated and they have to go back to Glass Shard, Stan takes a moment to tell his past self to leave the Perpetual Motion machine alone. The time people leave and nothing changes. Except Stan remembers how Filbrick kicked him out a month after Ford left for West Coast and Ford chose to study anomalies anyway. Fiddleford was hired on as an assistant, but didn’t lose his mind (just left the project and moved his family to Gravity Falls). Ford is still lost in the multiverse. But now everyone knows that Ford exists and Stan lets everyone see the portal. Dipper shows him the Journal and they speculate that Gideon may have the second. During one of his shows, they use the shrinking light to break in and take it. No one can pin it on them because Stan is actually a really good crook. They all work together to open the portal. They convince Fidds to help, since he’s not living in the dump anymore, and they get Ford back a month and a half early.

-Stan gets kidnapped by the hand witch (molested by hands) and Soos, Dipper, Mabel and Wendy have to rescue him. Hurt comfort/whump with Stan being found by his family like that.

-Bill using Gold Ford as a toy. Rescuing Gold Ford from the fearamid and not being able to change him back without and act of true love (i.e. Stan doing something (platonic this time))

-Couple Stan Bros (WA) falling through to canon before weirdmageddon but after Ford comes back. Both Fords realize the dangers, but WAStan just marches in the shack and grabs a beer. WAFord bitching about dangers and collapse of dimensions and CFord freaking out. WAStan pokes CStan in the cheek and nothing happens. “We’re different people. Don’t know about you two though.” The explain that Stan is Bill. CFord freaks the fuck out and asks why the hell WAFord is ok with that. They admit that they are together. CFord realizes what’s going on and is all like…oh. Dipper and Mabel have lots of questions and they end up sticking around for a few days to figure out how to get home. CStan kisses CFord once to see why. Neither feel anything, disgust or lust, and just kinda shrug. They do end up being more affectionate though.

-Stan gets hit with a very lucid dream on the SOW about Ford. He gets freaked out about it and Ford picks up on it. Ford reminds Stan about their promise to not keep secrets. Stan admits that he is freaked out about a dream but won’t say what the dream was. Ford wont let it go and they argue it keeps escalating and escalating until Ford says something like Stan is willing to throw away everything just for some stupid dream that didn’t even matter. Stan blows up at says that that is the reason he wont say anything, because he doesn’t want to lose Ford. How on Earth would a dream make you lose me? Stan blows up and tells him. Immediately regretting it and trying to run away, except he can’t because the ship is too small. Ford tells him it’s natural. They’ve been alone for almost a year with hardly anyone else. It’s natural to feel drawn to whomever you are closest to. Stan is still not okay with it and keeps his distance, but still has dreams. Ford starts flirting casually, lingering touches and the like and Stan’s dreams get worse. Stan picks up on it and gets angry. They start fighting again and Ford snaps and let’s slip he’s been feeling pent up too. They part without speaking again. Stan approaches Ford later at tells him that he used to be a prostitute. His previous rate was $X but he’s willing to lower the price. Ford stammers, and Stan says he’s willing to give Ford a family discount. They laugh. Some months later, Stan has a jar on the dresser filled to the brim with pennies. Every time Ford comes to him, he pays a penny. As long as money changes hands, it is a service. They can live with that.

-On the SOW, Ford admits he’s never been with anyone. Kiss, sex, nothing. He isn’t sure if he would enjoy it or not, but he’s definitely agitated he hasn’t had the opportunity. They talk awhile and discuss Stan setting him up with someone at Port. It falls apart because Ford can’t get interested, not trust strangers with something so intimate. Stan asks what would help him, and Ford tells him someone he knows/trusts. Fiddleford? No. No one else really, except Stan. Stan offers, embarrassed, and Ford tells him he has to think about it. They come together a few days later and Stan gives it all he’s got. Ford does enjoy himself. Immensely. Stan’s not comfortable with how much he enjoyed it. Ford asks a few days later if the can do it again. Stan asks why, and Ford claims he wants to try something different, he isn’t sure if it’s a continuous thing. They go again, different positions this time, and Ford really enjoys it. Again, Stan isn’t comfortable with how much they both enjoyed it. It becomes a running gag, Ford asks if Stan would like to try something, and Stan agrees, but hints that maybe Ford needs to find someone else he trusts. Ford keeps saying in time. It becomes a regular thing, Ford feeling like he had to come up with new things to try to get Stan interested. Stan tells him, finally, that Ford doesn’t have to keep doing that if he doesn’t want to (bordering on really out there kinks). They go back to regular sex and Ford admits that He doesn’t want to lose Stan, but he’s not sure if he can ever be with anyone else. They agree that at their age, it doesn’t matter what they do, so long as it’s consensual. They proceed to fuck all the time, and if they can’t, they just touch because they can.

-The next summer, the gnomes get desperate for a queen and decide it doesn’t have to be a woman, so they try to kidnap a few people: Dipper, (who has Mabel to help), Soos, to says he has to ask Melody first and his grandma so they give up, they try to steal the goat/waddles, but get attacked by the other. Finally, they decided to drug and kidnap Stan, who let his hair grow out in the past year. Stan wakes up standing at the alter with Jeff. He doesn’t react a t first because WTF is going on? And Ford and co have been looking for him because there was a struggle/mess and evidence he was in the forest. They crash the wedding and Stan doesn’t say anything, doesn’t really do anything etc. As they get ready to leave, Ford ask if Stan is ok, Stan says sure. If they were going to marry him, then they would have to give him an allowance, they can’t expect him to work, he’d still get to visit his kids (Dipper and Mabel), he’d have to be taken out once a week to a fancy restaurant, he’d ask for fancy gifts etc, and just be really high maintenance. Besides, his ex’s were all crazy (i.e. Marylin and Goldie). Dipper and Mabel stay behind and ask Jeff if he’s ok. Jeff says he might have dodged a bullet there. Mabel says that he should just put out an ad for someone. Some girl from town answers the ad and does a much better job of running the forest. Also she refuses to become a gnome because she is big enough to beat-up a fox.

-Soulmate AU with soulmate marks. Stan gets kicked out before his appears (i.e. appears in mid-twenties) and when it does, he cries because it’s a six-fingered hand. But soulmates don’t mean sex although it can. After weirdmageddon/during the clothes swap, Ford sees it and doesn’t know how to take it. Ford’s mark was always the triangle, so he’s not sure how to take it, as soulmates usually have eachother’s marks. Maybe it’s another person? Over the next year, Ford’s mark becomes inverted; instead of a triangle with a hole, it becomes a mouth eating a coin. When he realizes it, they both laugh and cry. They decide that if they want to move it forwards, then they will do so in their own time. Ends without a kiss but with definite affection (waking up in bed together (not sex) and realizing the other is actually there).

-Stan/Reader/Ford because I can’t find one that fits my needs.

Reader had been working for the Mystery Shack for a few years. They used to be a cashier but moved up to bookkeeper when Wendy took the position. Reader had been working with Stan long enough to know about the portal, about Ford, and about the paranormal things in Gravity Falls. They work with Stan on the portal and with the forest creatures. Stan’s deals with gnomes/manitaurs/etc and monthly meetings to hash out treaties and agreements. Stan has lived there long enough and knows enough to be included in the denizens of the forest. Reader has been going alone since the kids arrived for the summer. Reader had lived in the shack since they’ve worked there; just a few months Stan invited to move in because of transportation issues, jokes about how they live there anyway. Reader is arrested when NWHS happens, being held by Blubs and Durland. Stan drives out covertly to get them after the agents leave. They are introduced to Ford later that night when Ford comes up for coffee. “Who’re you?” “I live here. You’re Stanford. Figured you’d be fine from what Stan told me. Sorry I wasn't here when you got here, I was…indisposed in a jail cell.” “What do you mean?” “When they arrested Stan, they arrested me. Worked for him the longest. By the way, you’re filing system is a fucking mess. I organized everything. I’ll pull off the things on my wall later. Some of your stuff’s packed away in my room.” “How much do you know?” “You were out hopping the multiverse for who knows how long. You were doing research on something I’m not even going to begin to pretend I remember. And Stan’s been trying to figure out transuniversal quantum physics and space time distortion with my help for the past four years. I majored in Geology. Not Physics. I don’t understand it any better than he does.” “Apt. Ok, so wat is it you do for Stan?” “I’m the bookkeeper. And I occasionally knock gnomes and hawktopus out of the rafters.” Time and events progress as normal, slight alterations here and there. Ford confronts Reader about their involvement with Stan as Ford has seen Reader flirt openly with Stan. Reader flirts with Ford. Ford doesn’t know what to do about that. Gets flustered. ‘Accidentally’ walks in/spies on Stan and Reader having sex. On Stan’s road trip, Ford corners Reader (reader brings Ford food in the basement) and admits he hasn’t been with a humanoid in almost eight years. Practically begs for sex, and ends up cumming in his pants. Reader is proud they were able to get Ford that excited. “Next time, don’t hang out outside the door.” They leave and next time Stan and Reader have sex, Ford enters the room and locks the door. Stan is a bit surprised, but when Reader walks over to Ford and brings him forwards, Stan plays along. Stan sees Ford is nervous, so he takes Reader’s lead and is slow and gentle. They coax Ford with slow and gentle touches, on arms and lower legs and hands. Both Stan and Reader are naked. “Sixer, it’s okay. However, you want to do this.” Reader leans back and cuddles up to Stan, slow and fluffy touches as they wah Ford at the end of the bed. Ford hesitates, but finally he takes off his sweater, wearing a black tank top underneath. Stan baulks at Ford’s scars, but he just reaches for him instead of talking. Ford is brought down between them, Reader behind, Stan in front. Stan is soft, tracing Ford’s face and hands, while Reader rubs his back and thighs. Ford gets worked up and they help him strip. Stan holds back, assuming Ford is more interested in the Reader, but as they go along, Stan’s instinct is to touch and reassure Ford. Reader gives Ford a bj, and he’s loud. Stan, no other way to keep him quiet, kisses him. “Shhhh, Sixer. Walls aren’t that thick. Sorry. Didn’t mean to..” Ford cuts him off with another kiss. Ford moans, clutching at Stan. Reader comes up, before Ford cums, and asks what they want to do. They arrange themselves where Ford fucks the Reader, Reader lays in Stan’s arms and Ford and Stan kiss while Ford fucks Reader. Stan almost gets off on humping Reader’s ass. When Ford cums (condom and Stan masturbating Reader), Ford shifts, Reader up/over and gives Stan a hj and hickies. Ford is exhausted, and falls asleep between them. Ford sleeps thought he night (mostly) and wakes up sticky. He showers and finds both of them in the kitchen making breakfast. He’s greeted with an affectionate pat and one-armed hug by Reader and slight awkwardness from Stan. After reader/kids leave to do their things, Ford pours himself a coffee and tells Stan they should talk about what happened. “I’ll be downstairs. Whenever you are ready.” Stan goes down and they talk about what happened. How they are brothers and it was wrong, etc. And Stan just says that Ford is welcome anytime he needs. ‘I wont push ya. But it’s clear ya need it. Heck, maybe we do too.” Ford goes to them that night and as long as Reader is involved, it’s not the big I world. Even if all Reader does is watch, then it’s a kink for their lover. Reader rides Ford while Stan holds him. Stan spends the whole-time touching Ford, caressing, kissing, titillating. Ford cums with Stan whispering in his ear. Next time, Stan fucks Reader while Ford sits behind them and helps support them. Ford reaches around and fondles Stan (area not in Reader) while masturbating Reader. Reader notices Ford and Stan have some serious sexual tension and asks them both, separately, if they are comfortable with the Reader watching. They both agree, so long as the other is ok. Stan and Ford get together to discuss what they are comfortable with and it devolves into a handsy makeout in Stan’s office. They end up 69-ing that night after frotting. Ford poking at Stan and getting a strong reaction. Leads to Ford fingering Stan at later date while Stan fucks Reader.

After weirdmageddon, all family sleeps in the living room curled up with blankets and pillows. Ford and Stan sleep with their heads together, with feet apart. _||_ so the kids can cuddle Stan, but Ford can still talk to Stan. Stan hits on Ford (subconscious flirt) while they are trying to get his memory back and acts on impulse and kisses Ford in front of everyone. “I get the feeling we’ve done that before.” Ford says yes, and that there is a lot to explain now because no one else knew. After a week, Stan get’s his memory back, and the night after the kids leave, all three hole up in the basement and Ford had been working on a serum to give them a boost (aphrodisiac) and they go all night.

-Ford and Stan find themselves in the Boiling Isles

#Stancest #Fic idea I will never get around to writing #bad me

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rithmyp9-blog · 6 years ago

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my kids father had about the Sesto Elemento healthy. Just want to insurance is a MUST i pass the state should i jus continue a driving permit do cost an insurance car wrote my peugeot 206 find affordable life insurance how can I get are able to have a new cheaper one on her own. (she why this could be????? scammers for a whilr, a 1.6litre at the quoted me for 1400. affordable health insures help? a good and cheap what s the best insurance drive maybe once a I was getting quotes insure? they must be the california vehicle code do insurance companies determine health insurance for self condoning it ,just give I was allowed on and we were just have to start from to only see a a ticket for running Approximate insurance guys, just are 12 or 13 Please do not post for a 17 year gonna drain my pocket. was at faults responsibility says to input your job but it does .

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im in the millitary usually pay this much. he is the first costs run? Please name planning on getting one get that wont take parking spot at my sure the year between For a 125cc bike. bought my own vehicle of 8000 thats with so i need medication were to happen, would 180-250?? All the people one of State Farm only 24 but was Also, i can t take Cheap car insurance? just turned 21 and getting a 250cc cruiser buy the bike, and information on weather old NO SPAM REPLIES PLEASE!!! not find any companies However, I wonder if wit a lot of features like leather, seat cheapest cars to insure? car insurance for a 2004-2006 Mazda 3 6. a beginner, but is & I am 29 I am so excited, a bomb anyway, but with state farm for and there was a his name put on steep hill i was if i can insurance insurance companies in the for your auto insurance .

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thelastspeecher · 7 years ago

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Stanford “Unable to Make a Proper Field Journal” Pines, PhD

*checks watch* Yep it’s about time for my regular “Ford does not know how to do field work” rant.

If you’re wondering “who are YOU to tell Stanford Filbrick Pines that he doesn’t know how to make a field journal”, well, don’t worry, I know what I’m talking about. I have a bachelor’s degree in biology (double emphasis in microbiology and environmental biology) and geology, both of which involved maintaining a field journal as part of the lab requirement. I’ve made far too many field journals. I know what a good one looks like. And yes, I have pictures of one of those field journals. (I apologize in advance; I misplaced my biology field journals, so all of my pictures are from one of my geology field journals.)

Here’s a taste:

Look, Ford is great. I love the man. I relate to him to an almost unnerving degree, probably due to the fact that I myself am a scientist. But damn, I seriously question whether any of Ford’s ten PhD’s was in a field that involved field work. Because if I turned in a field journal that looked like any of Ford’s journals, my teachers would have given me a big, fat F. Why? A lot of reasons, but arguably the biggest one: complete lack of context.

Context is crucial in research. Not just even context like “this is why my research is relevant”, but context like “this is where I saw the thing, this is what the weather was like when I saw the thing, this is what was around me when I saw the thing”. I wasn’t able to locate my biology field journals, sadly, but I remember what was required on each entry. Some of the requirements:

Date

Arrival time

Departure time

Location (e.g. “Riparian zone to the south of 1st National Bank in Rockford”)

Slope (not just “there is a slope here”, literally measuring the angle and direction of slope)

Weather

Biome type (e.g. “conifer forest”, “grassland prairie”)

Dominant vegetation

And all of that’s before the actual notes on the location! Because they provide context. Date – time of year will influence vegetation and animals. Arrival and departure times – different species are active during different times of day. Location – some species might only live in one incredibly specific location. Slope – influences vegetation, temperature, and humidity. Weather – some species only come out during certain types of weather (think worms that come up when it rains). Biome type – self-explanatory. Dominant vegetation – influences animals, since some species only consume specific plants. These are all incredibly crucial things to note at a location that you are studying. You need the context of all those factors if you want to repeat your results.

And in science, the key is to have reproduceable results. If you have a species that is only present in a coniferous forest, you won’t be able to reproduce your results in a deciduous forest. But if you never wrote down that you saw that species in a coniferous forest, you might never find them again. And no, you won’t remember. Trust me. It’s a saying in scientific fields. “Write it down. You won’t remember.”

Now, Stanford Pines. He studies magical animals. All of the things I said apply to normal animals. Magical animals are gonna be 1000% more difficult! Ford needs to be writing down what phase the moon is in, what direction he’s facing, maybe even what he ate for breakfast. But he’s not writing down any of it! The scientific world is NEVER going to believe him unless they themselves can reproduce his results. And without the context his research so desperately needs, that’s never going to happen.

Oh, another aspect of context that he’s missing: none of his sketches have scale. If you draw something, you need scale. If you take a picture of something, you put something in that picture for scale. Otherwise, we don’t know how big something actually is. Another thing needed, if the drawing is of a sufficiently big object, say, the mysterious cliffs in Gravity Falls that are due to a UFO crash, you also need N/S, E/W. Drawing that cliff amounts to drawing a topographic profile. And you need context when drawing a topographic profile. Case in point:

Actually, while we’re talking about the cliffs: we need more information on those. Those are a geologic feature. If you’re going to describe a geologic feature, you need to include the pertinent geologic information. That means rock type, dominant minerals, strike and dip, and anything else a geologist might note.

Also, before jumping to the conclusion of “these cliffs are CLEARLY due to a UFO crash”, maybe ask a geologist how you might get a cliff like that to form. Okay, yeah, in this case, the conclusion was right. But generally speaking in science, you only resort to “aliens did it” once you’ve exhausted every single option. Which we have no indication of Ford doing.

“But Ford isn’t a geologist, he wouldn’t know how to find those things.” Well, then he shouldn’t be describing a geologic feature. He should be taking a picture to send to a geologist, or better yet, bringing a geologist along. If you see something that you don’t know how to describe, in science you don’t just do your best. You find someone who does know.

So, now that I’ve mostly covered the context that Ford is missing, let’s talk organization and neatness. It’s not organized enough and it’s too neat. No, those aren’t contradictory.

By organization, I mean breaking up the journal into different sections based on date and trip. Making separate entries. See this note from one of my professors on my field journal:

It says “Include trip title at beginning of notes”. Ford doesn’t do that. Well, he does that sometimes. But he doesn’t do it consistently. And you need that. Especially if you have the context I talked about at the beginning. You need to separate which context goes with which entry. Because, and I’m gonna say it again, research needs context.

Most field journals and lab books also have numbered pages and a table of contents at the beginning, which you can fill out yourself. That’s optional, not required, but if you have a lot of research and you want to find something quickly, it’s very useful.

Now the handwriting. It’s too neat. Too nice. No, this is a thing. It really is. I’ve gotten docked points for my handwriting being too neat and organized in my field journal before. Not because they were upset they could read my handwriting, but because the neatness was evidence that I erased my original notes. Which you should not do. I took pictures of my notes so that I could copy them down word for word, just more neatly, but that doesn’t matter. Because my teachers didn’t have proof that they were my original notes. And if they weren’t my original notes, then they are probably inaccurate. Remember: “Write it down. You won’t remember.” And as proof that there’s no way Ford was actually writing all this out in the field, here’s a sample of my handwriting:

It’s very neat and nice, isn’t it? This is how I write when I’m careful and take my time. Versus this:

This is how I write when I’m out in the field. Because you aren’t sitting nice in the field. You’re standing awkwardly or squatting awkwardly or leaning against something or using non-flat surfaces as writing surfaces. Google pictures of field research and you’ll see what I mean. You cannot write nice out in the field. It’s impossible. I feel confident in saying that, not only because I’ve written while out in the field, but also because every single professor I’ve ever had could tell what in my field journal was originally written in the field and what wasn’t.

Stanford Pines’ notes weren’t written out in the field. They were written from the comfort of a writing desk. So they aren’t trustworthy.

And my last point about why Ford clearly does not know how to make a field journal: he has zero consistency as to what he puts in it.

It’s got plenty of field stuff in it. Plenty of information on the various weird shit in Gravity Falls. Well, not plenty. Some of his entries could use more information on the critters. Some of them could use a lot more information on the critters. And other entries…honestly, why the hell are they even in there? Did Ford really need to include an entire entry on himself? On the history of Gravity Falls? On his own (reasonable) paranoia after finding out Bill’s true intentions? Uh, no. In these areas, it very clearly ceases to be a field journal, and serves as Ford’s personal journal. There’s nothing wrong with having a personal journal, naturally. The problem is when it is masqueraded as scientific research.

…And that’s all I’ve got. At least, right now. I very well might think of other things that prove Ford doesn’t know how to make a field journal.

I sincerely hope that Ford eventually takes at least one (1) class in which he learns how field journals actually work.

#gravity falls #stanford pines #sorry that the pictures aren't more interesting #field journals aren't meant to be fancy and cool looking #they're just meant to have research and data in them #look. they will get mud and all sorts of other stains.#you don't wanna sink a bunch of effort into making something look all nice #only to drop it in a puddle the next day #speecher sciences #rant #speecher speaks #my stuff

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haberdashing · 7 years ago

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Of Muses and Monsters

Ford’s interaction with Bill in the Elsewhere Falls AU.

also on AO3

Every time Ford thought his research was getting results, everything would always come crashing down again. He knew there had to be a reason behind it all--behind the Rules, behind what the Gentry could and could not do, behind the University being a place where mundane reality and Elsewhere could coincide--but whenever he got close to the root of it, his theories would fail, his grand designs would unravel into nothingness, leaving him knowing little more than he had when he started.

And, of course, the problem with studying the forbidden major was that it was forbidden, that he couldn’t let the world know of his studies until after they had already paid off, that he had to keep chipping away at his work without soliciting help from fellow students or faculty.

Ford was significantly farther into the Library than most students would ever go when he found a book telling of an ancient being who could provide answers where there had been nothing but questions, found an incantation to summon this mysterious being, and he knew what he had to do.

(The same book warned against summoning the being described therein--said not to trust him, said that he might well bring about the end of the world--but what was scientific inquiry without a hint of risk?)

But when he read aloud the incantation from the book... nothing happened.

Ford shoved the book back into the slot where he had found it, made his way out of the depths of the Library, and tried to forget the whole affair...

...until he nodded off beneath a tree, long nights spent combing the Library instead of sleeping coming back to bite him, and had the most peculiar dream.

That’s what he thought it was at first, anyway--a dream. And perhaps it was a dream, a dream which allowed his mundane self to connect with Elsewhere. The being before him was clearly a member of the Gentry, even his dreaming self knew that much, though the form that being chose was an unusual choice even by those standards--a triangle, a two-dimensional yellow triangle, with little stick-figure arms and legs and one large eye near the triangle’s center.

The being said that he was called Bill Cipher, but Ford knew better to take that at face value. When asked for his own name, Ford used Tesla, the same safename he had been using at Elsewhere for some time now, and added a bit of the history behind the name, speaking of Tesla’s genius and how he had been overlooked by history.

“Well then,” the being who called himself Bill said, “we’ll just have to make sure this Tesla isn’t forgotten so easily.”

And so the two began working together, sharing their knowledge of Elsewhere with one another. One of the Fair Folk working side-by-side with a human to learn more about how their realms were linked, what was more logical than that? And Bill spun stories about Ford’s genius, said that Ford was a rising star and that he would undoubtedly become famous when their research bore fruit... and Ford missed the subtle warning signs, didn’t notice the “might”s and “should”s and “could”s that peppered Bill’s speech, the little details gone ever so subtly awry.

They worked together for some time before striking a deal. It happened during midterms, naturally enough. Ford was half-awake, trying to cram as much studying and writing into his waking hours as he could while not entirely neglecting his unofficial study of the Gentry...

Ford had breached the topic initially, making an off-hand comment about how much valuable time he was wasting taking care of his body rather than his mind, but Bill was the one who suggested the deal.

(Of course it was Bill’s idea.)

A deal that would allow the one who went by Bill Cipher into Ford’s mind, would allow him to control Ford’s body while he should be asleep, with a promise (stated in language that Ford would realize too late was entirely suspect) to help with Ford’s studies, whether he was studying the mundane or the supernatural, when Bill did so.

It made sense at the time. Really.

They shook hands--Bill’s hands felt cold, even though they appeared to be covered in blue fire--and the deal was made.

When Ford woke up the next morning, he woke up to a halfway-decent completed draft of a paper he had been dreading writing, as well as some scribbled notes about the workings of Elsewhere.

A few mornings later, Ford woke up next to the train tracks that lined one end of campus, but he didn’t think much of it, and what suspicions he had were assuaged by Bill’s explanations when the two met afterwards.

Ford woke up a few weeks later in the forest, holding a lighter--Bill got an earful for that one, but Ford managed to find his way back to campus easily enough, and soon the matter was all but forgotten.

Then Ford woke up underwater, his hands wrapped around a massive log.

Ford was disoriented at first, naturally enough, but upon leaving the log behind and following the light, he made his way to the surface in time to catch his breath and managed to stumble out of the river, soaking wet, shortly afterwards.

Ford confronted Bill, asked why he had almost let him drown, and for once, Bill didn’t have an answer prepared, didn’t have some way to assuage Ford’s growing suspicions.

Still, it took Ford some time to piece together the pieces. Standing next to the cast-iron train tracks, entering Morganwode with a lighter in hand, trying (and failing) to cross the river using a log...

Ford finally realized that Bill hadn’t just wanted to study why Elsewhere University’s campus allowed the natural and supernatural to coincide. No, Bill had more than that in mind; he wanted to change all that, wanted to bridge the boundaries between Elsewhere and the rest of the material plane, let the Fair Folk loose around the world.

Ford stopped sleeping, stopped eating, stopped going to class, stopped doing anything except trying to find a way to stop Bill, trying to find a way to nullify their deal for good, trying to stop the Gentry from taking their reign of terror worldwide.

And in the depths of despair, unsure where he could turn for help, Ford sent a cryptic postcard to someone he hadn’t talked to in years, hoping that the same man who had caused him going to Elsewhere in the first place would be able to fix the mess that had resulted.

#gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls au #elsewhere university #elsewhere u #gf au #gf au fic #gf fic #personal #my writing #elsewhere falls

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pineque · 7 years ago

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Ford’s (D46′\) Timeline

*cracks my motherfucking knuckles* alright my dudes @fordanoia asked me to share my Ford Timeline (which also includes some Stan and Fiddleford events). Now, this sucker took hours to put together so I’m putting it under a read more. The timeline is mostly about 1982 and before, but I put a few extra things in.

Alright first I’m going to go through Ford’s diary journal for everyone that hasn’t read it and then get on with the timeline and explain how I chose the rest of the dates. I might make an ‘events only’ timeline graphic just in case anyone wants a simple, straightforward reference. If you’re interested in something like that, let me know and I’ll whip it up.

So the first date Journal 3 (J3) gives us is June 18th. The next sentence says that as of this date, it’s been six years since Ford arrived in GF. According to Ford’s own timeline, he arrived in 1975. This means that the current year is 1981. (There is one problem with Ford’s timeline. He pins 1981 as “Discovery of Muse,” but only like 7 pages earlier he wrote that Bill had been visiting him for two years so… I’m not including it). Sometime during this month, while writing about a category one ghost, Ford notes that he is a man in his 30’s.

The next important date J3 gives us is July 18th. This is the day Ford decides he needs help on the portal. The previous four pages detail Ford’s dream in which Bill tells him to build the portal and the plans for it, so I’m assuming he’d only been working on it for a week or two before he decided to call Fiddleford. That brings us to our next date, July 29th. Fiddleford arrives in GF.

Our two boys get to work and eventually hike to Crash Site Omega (CSO)(which Ford discovered two years ago aka 1979) for portal parts. Fiddleford gets fucked by the Gremloblin and spends some time being traumatized. During this week or two he makes the memory gun. Ford tells him to destroy it and Fidds uses it against him. He keeps the gun and Ford believes it has been destroyed. After this, Ford takes Fidds to the carnival. Ford gets the coolest fortune-telling experience ever, but he’s an ass and doesn’t believe any of it. Fidds has a chat with Ivan and then they go home. Fidds suggests they make an underground lab (fallout shelter) and they spend A LOT of time on it. After an accident that results in locking up the shapeshifter, they seal off the bunker and decide to work on it after the portal is done.

And now we’re back in the important stuff. A few nights before the completion of the portal, Bill offers to take over Ford’s body so he could do more work while Ford slept ((I feel like it is really important to note that Bill was only able to possess Ford for a few days before Fidds left. The possession thing was Not something that went on for years and there wasn’t any Bord and Fidds interaction/intimidation. Y'all can write or draw or make anything you want obviously and it is something that is a little contradicted by ‘possessed while meditating’ shot the show)). When he wakes up the work is competed, but his right eye is already starting to hurt.

Our first dated entry since Fidds’ arrival is January 17th, (1982), the night before Testing Day. Fidds tries to talk Ford out of testing the portal but he refuses. So January 18th, Fiddleford leaves. Ford is pissed and plans to talk to Bill when he goes to sleep, but throughout the day he becomes suspicious of Bill. That night Ford confronts Bill, as seen in the show, and he shuts the portal down. He begins his “sleep as little as possible” plan. Ford writes that “F is nowhere to be found,” so he begins to research Bill alone in the hopes of finding a way to destroy him.

Several weeks later, Ford’s paranoia is beginning to really set in. He catches his first glimpse of the Society of the Blind Eye. He wonders about them but generally leaves them alone in favor of his own problems. He begins to use invisible ink to add more information to his previous entries.

The next entry we get is something I call the Truck Stop Disaster. Ford had been getting coffee from this truck stop for weeks bc it was the only thing helping him stay awake, but while a guy was giving him advice to stay awake he hears him speak in Bill’s voice. He looks up and sees that everyone in the diner has glowing, yellow eyes. He flees the diner and runs until he collapses in a Twin Bed Motel parking lot. Plan Call Stanley begins to form in his mind.

Ford hides J2 but continues to write in J3 while he waits for Stan to come for J1. He mentions that “the first snow has already fallen,” and that he cannot leave his house until Stan arrives. However, over the next few days(?) Ford’s mind really starts slipping. Bill begins to take full advantage of his instability in order to write unsettling things in J3 and Ford is pushed to his limit. He decides to bury J3 before Stan gets there and that’s the last we get from 1982 Ford.

So now it’s time to piece together the rest. Let’s start off with one of the most interesting dates: When did Ford fall into the portal?

My friend @killhitleragain ((I hadn’t even considered this so seriously thanks for pointing it out)) brought up that there is a bit of a problem when it comes to deciding when Ford leaves GF. There is evidence presented in the show that is contradicted by Ford’s writing in J3, so there are two possible dates depending on whether you prefer the show or J3. I’ll go into J3 first (I’ll openly admit I have a heavy J3 bias) and then I’ll go over the show.

Our requirements for this date are that it has to be snowing, it has to be 1982, and it has to be after Fiddleford creates the Society of the Blind Eye (which happens in February). According to The Internet, Oregon’s winter lasts from November-March. J3 points to Ford entering the portal in November and not in February or March. The most telling piece of evidence is Ford’s mention of “the first snow.” By the time we get to that entry, a minimum of 5-6 weeks has already past since Jan 18th. It just doesn’t make sense for the first snow of the winter to fall in March, the last month of the season (and at the very end of the month too). Oregon winter would be over by this point and the wicked snowstorm we see Stan arrive in just shouldn’t be possible during that time of the year. Also, during No Sleep Time, Ford spent a few weeks walking back and forth between his house in the middle of the woods and a truck stop “out on route 14.” I don’t know how far away that might be from his house, but it’s probably far enough that he wouldn’t be able to get there that consistently every day in the winter on foot.

So according to J3, our first new date is November, 1982. Ford enters the portal. But now it’s time for the show route.

Our requirements are the same, but the show, specifically the backgrounds, points to March being the month Ford left, not November. When Stan first enters Ford’s room in aToTS Ford’s calendar has a woodpecker on it. In Carpet Diem Ford’s calendar has an owl on it for July. This means that Stan had to be the one to flip the calendar. Since he left it on July, my interpretation is that he used Ford’s room from March till July, which is when he sealed the room off. Also, when Stan is walking through town after spending a few weeks holed up in Ford’s house, the snow from the storm looks like it is starting to melt. This could be because it’s March, the end of winter.

So I’ll leave this up to you to decide which date you want to go with. I’m assuming that either month is also the month Stan gets Ford’s note and leaves his flat in New Mexico.

The dates of anything else that happens in 1982 are a little easier to nail down. Our only two sources are both incredibly unreliable and have huge holes in their memories, but Fidds’ dated memory clips help a lot.

January 18th. Day 1 of Fiddleford’s lost memories. February 9th. Day 22 of Fiddleford’s lost memories. The creation of the Society of the Blind Eye. Sometime in Feb/Mar. Ford leaves his house and discovers the Society. July 26th. Day 189 of Fiddleford’s lost memories. “Hit another car in town today.” This is the last time we see him in his original house/apartment. October 18th. Day 273 of Fiddleford’s lost memories. He’s now filming from a motel. I believe that sometime between day 189 and day 273 is when Fiddleford’s “first memory” (the newspaper article) takes place. The headline of the paper is “Disoriented Man Found At Museum,” but what I think is more important is the actual article title, “Sent Packing.” I took this to mean that he was kicked out of where he was previously staying and had to move to the motel.

So now that we have that mess of a year out of the way, it’s time to start moving backwards.

July 29th, 1981. Fiddleford arrives in GF. June 18th, 1981. Ford begins J3. 1979. Ford discovers CSO. June, 1975. Ford arrives in GF. We know based on aToTS that around this time Stan was living out of his car. May, 1975. Ford gets his first Ph.D and is given a grant to study whatever he wants. Sometime between 1970 and 1975 is when Stan dates Carla McCorkle. The two of them spent their time at a “50's themed, 1970's diner.” I want to say that their relationship took place in the early seventies bc Stan still had the same clothes and hair style as he did in high school.

Here’s where it starts to get a little trickier, but once you have one date the rest fall into place. The youngest Ford can be in 1981 is 30, which means he can’t be born any later than 1951. For the sake of trial and error, let’s assume this is the year he was born.

June 15th, 1951. Stanford and Stanley Pines are born.

In aToTS, Stan starts his story with “It all started... a lifetime ago... nineteen sixty something.” This could be referring to one of two things. 1.) Stanford’s science project, or (what I personally like to think) 2.) The discovery of the Stan O’ War. If the latter is true, then that would put the discovery at 1961-1963 when they are 10-12 years old.

Because the boys are born in June, they’ll be 17 (about to turn 18) when they graduate. This puts Ford’s graduation at June, 1968. Stanley was most likely kicked out early fall of 1967, based on his attire and the weather. Also, most college applications and scoutings and such happen in the fall. (I’m not sure if this was the same in the sixties, but oh well.) ((WC Tech could have been doing some spring of junior year scouting, but I refuse to believe that that wasn’t their senior year science fair bc Stan getting kicked out when he was 16 is Not Allowed.))

Ford starts college at BackUpsMore in the fall of 1968 and will earn his undergraduate degree in 1972. In aToTS, Ford says that he went from undergrad to Ph.D three years early. The Internet says that the average doctorate takes 6 years to earn. If he started his Ph.D program in the fall and spent three years completing it, then he would end up in 1975 with a degree and a large grant, ready to arrive in GF that June. Boom.

A few more additions that I like:

August 31st, 1999. Mystery Twins 2.0 are born.

July, 2002. Soos is adapted by starts to work for Stan at the Mystery Shack.

Early August, 2012. Ford returns to Dimension 46′\. I really want to say that it was August 8th, but it could have also been August 1st.

August 31st, 2012. Mabel and Dipper’s 13th birthday. The Original Mystery Twins officially make up.

2043. Ford dies of a heart attack at 92???

Timeline complete. Message me if you have any questions or want to poke holes in my logic. It’s 3:32am so I might have missed a few things.

PS I didn’t include any Shermie dates bc I just don’t think there’s enough Hard Evidence for me to confidently make any statements about him.

#stanford pines #this is my contribution to forduary #yeah this totally counts #I'm dyyyyying oh man this took forever #gravity falls timeline #stanley pines #fiddleford mcgucket #i love these losers #forduary

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orangeoctopi7 · 4 years ago

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It’s Fine (It’s not fine)

@forduary week 1 is Hurt/Comfort. The one’s definitely more on the hurt side of things, but I promise there’s some comfort at the end!

Stanford Pines is six years old. He’s in his bedroom, reading quietly. He’s just getting to the climax of the adventure story he’s reading when his brother Stanley crashes into the room. It wouldn't normally be a problem, Ford is really good at tuning out the world around him while he reads, but Stan is complaining loudly.

“I’m booooooard!” The boy moans, grabbing onto the post of their bunk-bed and dangling off it dramatically.

“Whaddaya want me to do about it?” Ford asks in irritation, not looking up from his book.

“Let’s go play on the beach! Or go to the comic store! Or… or something!” Stan suggests. “Anything but just sit around here doin’ nothin’!”

It was a hot summer afternoon. Ford didn’t want to go down to the beach or the comic store when he knew for certain anywhere they went today was bound to be crowded with people. He just wanted to sit and read in his room and enjoy some time to himself.

“Can’t you go by yourself?”

“Are you kiddin’? Ma would throw a fit!”

Ford heaves a long-suffering sigh, places a bookmark to hold his place, and snaps his book shut before thumping it down on his bed.

“Well we don’t hafta go if ya don’t wanna.” Stan says lamely.

“It’s fine.” Ford assures him.

“Are you sure?”

“It’s fine.”

* * *

Stanford Pines is ten years old. He’s at recess, trying to lie low. Stan got held back for the whole half-hour because he’d been caught trying to sneak the class pet, a newt, into his backpack. This of course leaves Ford at the mercy of Crampelter and his thugs, who have little to no mercy on any given day.

“C’mon freak, fight back!” The towheaded bully taunts him, holding Ford back by the forehead as he tries to struggle past the blocking arm for his backpack, held just out of reach. “I know I seen you taking boxing lessons back at Mel’s Gym!”

“It’s ‘I saw’ or ‘I have seen’, and just b‘cuz I’m taking lessons doesn’t mean I’m stupid enough to pick a fight I know I can’t win!” Ford protests.

“Pfft, you’re no fun.” Crampelter scoffs, before grabbing onto one of Ford’s hands while he continues to reach vainly for his backpack. “But y’know what does sound fun?”

“Let go of me!”

“Seeing how flexible your extra fingers are!” Crampelter starts to push Ford’s pinky finger back with his thumb, stretching it to its limit.

“Stop it! That hurts!”

But Crampelter just keeps pushing and pushing until Ford is sure some tendons are going to pop, when a shrill whistle echoes across the playground.

“Hey! Crampelter! Drop the freak!” The teacher on recess watch commands.

The bully finally lets go, and Ford stumbles to the ground, holding his injured hand close to his body.

“Here, lemme look at that.” the teacher pulls Ford’s hand away to check it. “Eh, ‘snot bleeding or broken, you’re fine.”

As they walk back from school that afternoon, Stan rants over and over that Crampelter Will Not Get Away With This, plotting various methods of revenge, most of them too fanciful to ever come to fruition.

Ford is silent the whole time, his gaze turned towards his shoes.

“Hey.” Stan suddenly stops his ranting and places a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help.”

“It’s fine.” Ford mumbles.

“I promise I’ll try not to get held in for recess again.”

“I said it’s fine.” Ford assures him, knowing that hoping Stan won’t get held back from recess again is like hoping it won’t snow in January. Technically possible, but highly unlikely.

* * *

Stanford Pines is fourteen years old. He’s a freshman in highschool, and he and his brother are in detention after he was caught letting Stan look off his algebra test.

It’s not that Ford has anything against sharing his answers with his brother. It’s not like he has any sort of moral high-ground here. It’s just that Stan is always so carelessly obvious about it!

“I said I was sorry, alright!” Stan hisses at him, trying not to draw the teacher’s attention.

“We’re not in middle school anymore, these things actually go on our record now!” Ford hisses back. “You have to be more careful!”

“Well maybe if you would actually slip me your paper instead of making me crane my neck over your desk! Nobody’s gonna notice if you hand your test in two minutes before everyone else instead of five!”

“That’d be even more obvious! Maybe if you wore your glasses for once!”

“Maybe I would, if you could hold your own in a fight!”

“What does that even have to do with anything!?”

“You don’t wear glasses in a fight, genius! That’s just asking for them to get broken! And I know I’m always having to step in and save your skin, so why would I even bother wearing them in the first place?”

“Hey!” The teacher overseeing detention snaps at them. “No talking!”

The boys shut their yapps and go back to studying, or at least pretending to study.

“I’m sorry.” Stan murmurs, once he’s sure the teacher is no longer paying attention to them.

“It’s fine.” Ford grunts back.

* * *

Stanford Pines is 17 years old. He is begrudgingly walking down to the beach with his brother.

“C’mon Ford, it’s October, there’s only a few more days of weather nice enough to work on her left! And the dumb science fair isn’t until April!”

“I still have so much research to do before I can even start!” Ford complains. “Not to mention procuring parts, testing different models--”

“That all sounds like stuff you can do once it gets cold.”

“I should be in the building phase by then!”

“Alright, look,” Stan jabs a finger in his brother’s direction. “If you wanna spend the last few warm days of the year cooped up in the library, that’s your problem. But I’m gonna enjoy the sunshine and the beach, and finish fixin’ up the Stan’o’war. We’re so close, I can practically taste the treasure and babes!”

“...Fine.” Ford grumbles.

“No, no. You go do your nerd thing. I’ll put the finishing touches on this thing we’ve been working on together since we were pipsqueaks.”

“I said it’s fine.”

* * *

Stanford Pines is 17 years old. He’s just come back from the most humiliating moment of his life (thus far). He confronts his brother, the offending evidence crinkling in his clenched fist. Stan tries to play it off like it’s not a big deal. Like he expects his brother to say It’s Fine.

It is most definitely not fine.

* * *

Stanford Pines is 20 years old. He’s showing his new roommate around their humble apartment.

“I really ‘preciate this, Stanford.” Fiddleford McGucket tells him for the sixth time that day. “Most folks wouldn’t offer to put their TA up in their apartment, ‘specially not when you’re lucky ‘nough to get yer own place!”

“Well, I’ll be starting the Doctorate program myself, next year! That makes us equals, in my mind.” Ford says proudly. “And I’m happy for the company! The only reason I have the apartment to myself is because my last roommate and I parted over… differences.”

“Heh, you too, eh?” McGucket chuckles. “Least you weren’t kicked out, like I was!”

“Why were you kicked out?”

“Oh, several reasons. I think the robot in the kitchen was the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

Ford laughs. “Well, I for one would love to have a robot that does our dishes and cleans the counters.”

McGucket grins and leans against the table.. “See, I knew we’d make great roommates!”

Unfortunately, McGucket’s leaning is more than the wobbly table can take, and it tips over on its side, scattering textbooks and papers everywhere. The two friends begin cleaning up the mess, McGucket apologizing profusely.

They’ve almost finished putting everything back onto the table when Fiddleford picks up an old photo of two little boys standing before a derelict little boat.

“Well bless my soul! Is this you, Ford?”

Ford’s heart skips a beat. He hadn’t realized he left that photo lying on the table!

“Ah, yes, that’s me. That was the day I decided I wanted to be a researcher--”

“And lookit this little fellah next to ya!” Fiddleford interrupts Ford’s soliloquy. “He looks just like you! I can’t believe I’ve known you for three years, and you never told me you had a twin!”

“Er… it just-- it never came up.”

“How in tarnation does yer own twin brother never come up?” Fiddleford asks incredulously. “So, what’s his name?”

“Stanley and I are not on speaking terms.” Ford says stiffly. “I haven’t spoken to him since I was a teenager.”

A multitude of expressions dance across Fiddleford’s face before Ford can hope to interpret any of them. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He finally says.

“It’s fine.” Ford says tersely, snatching the photo back.

* * *

Stanford Pines is 21 years old. He’s trying to get a good night sleep before his first dissertation tomorrow.

Trying being the operative word.

The past year rooming with Fiddleford McGucket has been great, for the most part. Ford loves spending time with an intellectual equal. McGucket accepts all of Ford’s idiosyncrasies, and Ford accepts all those of his friend.

Well, almost all of them.

It didn’t take long after they started rooming together for Ford to realize one of the several reasons McGucket had been evicted from his last apartment had nothing to do with his penchant for robotics, and everything to do with his penchant for late-night banjo playing. As much as it cut into Ford’s sleep schedule, he didn’t have the heart to complain to his roommate about it. He knew he had plenty of his own bad habits that were difficult to deal with, like his coffee addiction, his antisocial behavior, his tendency to start a project and just leave it laying wherever he was around the apartment, and his few dozen subscriptions to cryptozoological newsletters.

The digital clock on Ford’s bedside table reads 2:20 AM when the music finally, thankfully stops. He sighs and turns over in his bed, hoping to finally fall asleep.

When he wakes in the morning, groggy as a hung-over sailor, Fiddleford at least has the decency to look apologetic.

“Sorry, did I keep ya up last night? I kinda got lost in the music an’ lost track of time.”

“It’s fine.” Ford mutters as he pours himself a large mug of the strongest coffee he can brew. This is the first roommate he’s gotten along with since… since he started college. He can put up with this.

“Well, if’n ya need me to, I can start headin’ up to the practice rooms in the assembly hall fer my jam sessions--”

“It’s fine.”

* * *

Stanford Pines is 31 years old. He’s spreading thick globs of slimy aloe vera on his hands. He’s been letting his muse take control of his body while he sleeps for about a week now. Bill says he’s not used to the limits of a physical human body. He’s injured Ford’s body just about every night so far, but last night, when he picked up the hot coffee pot by the pot instead of by the handle, was the worst by far.

“This keeps on happening, Bill. You need to be more careful.” He gently chides his muse.

“WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT’D HAPPEN? WHY DIDN’T THE IDIOT WHO DESIGNED THAT THING INSULATE THE WHOLE CONTAINER INSTEAD OF JUST THE HANDLE? YOU COULD DESIGN A COFFEE POT WAY MORE EFFICIENT THAN THAT!”

Ford smiles, blushing. “Perhaps I’ll get around to modifying it someday. But for now, as I was saying, could you please be more careful with my body at night?”

“HEY, YOU’RE ACTUALLY LUCKY THIS HAPPENED. IF I HADN’T DROPPED THAT POT, I WOULD’VE TRIED DRINKING IT THE SAME WAY I DO IN MY NORMAL FORM, AND THEN YOU’D PROBABLY BE BLIND. SO WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME!”

Ford pales. “Er, perhaps I should help you practice using my body first, just to decrease the risk of that sort of thing.”

“OH, I’M SORRY! DO YOU NOT WANT MY HELP? DO YOU NOT WANT TO ACHIEVE GREATNESS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE?”

“No! No of course not! That’s not what I meant!”

“DON’T FORGET, I’M DOING THIS FOR YOU, SIXER! I’M AN AGELESS BEING OF PURE ENERGY! THE ONLY REASON I’M HELPING YOU SPEED UP THE PROCESS ON BUILDING THE PORTAL IS BECAUSE I KNOW HOW PATHETICALLY SHORT YOUR MORTAL LIFE IS. YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO TRUST ME. OR ARE A FEW BUMPS AND BRUISES TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE?”

“Of course not! It’s fine! I’m fine!” Ford insists, finishing bandaging his burns.

* * *

Stanford Pines is… probably 45? He’s not quite sure. He’s lost track of time after traveling the multiverse for so long, especially after the Do-Over Dimension.

He’s making his way through a crowded alien market, hoping to find something he’ll be able to use in his Quantum Destabilizer, and also hoping not to be recognized by any bounty hunters. It’s annoying, having to wear a hood and goggles and mask everywhere he goes, but that’s just the way it has to be now.

It’s fine.

It’s only until he can complete the Quantum Destabilizer. After that… it didn’t matter what happened after that.

It’s fine.

* * *

Stanford Pines is 62 years old. He’s sitting in a hospital bed. Despite what that may suggest, his life has finally taken a turn for the better. Bill is gone, Weirdmaggeddon is over, and, miraculously, no one died. Stanley was going to be ok. The kids didn’t hate him. He’s achieved his goal of destroying Bill Cipher, and survived! He’s fine. They’re all incredibly, wonderfully, fine.

The doctor is giving his vitals one last check before officially discharging him from the hospital. It’s obvious that under normal circumstances, Ford would not be leaving the hospital any time soon, but thanks to the incredibly persistent insistence of his family, and the fact that the hospital is already absolutely filled to the brim with people who were injured during Weirdmageddon, and the fact that Stanford was instrumental in stopping Bill, they’re making an exception.

“Alright, you’re free to go!” The doctor finally says, handing his clipboard over to Ford to sign.

“Hooray!” Mabel cheers as her uncle signs his exit papers. “Now you’ll be able to help us set up for our birthday party!” She slings an arm around his neck to hug him, completely forgetting about the thin layer of bandages around his neck. Ford can’t suppress a yelp of pain.

Mabel reels back, hands flying to her mouth. “Ohmigosh, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s fine.” Ford forces a smile.

“I wasn’t thinking!”

“Mabel, really, it’s fine.”

“Ford.” Stan says firmly. Ford recognizes the expression on his face from the last few days. It’s the look he gets on his face when he’s remembering something painful. “You gotta stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” He asks, confused.

“Saying ‘It’s fine’ when it’s not.”

Ford raises an eyebrow. “Stanley, it was just an accident. It really is fine.”

“Oh, yeah, of course this was…” Stan stammers, apparently coming back to the moment. “Mabel’s not-- this was just an honest mistake. But you say… uh, or at least, you used to say that a lot. Even when I could tell it wasn’t really fine. You gotta stop that.”

Ford shifted in his bed uncomfortably. “I’m just being polite.”

“There are ways to say things aren’t fine while still being polite.” Dipper points out.

Ford can feel himself flush. “I’m not good at that. I always come off as rude… or angry.” Saying it’s fine is just easier. He can just move on and forget about it. Control his emotions. Remove them from the equation for the time being, process them later when he’s alone, so nobody gets hurt.

Stan takes a deep breath before he speaks again. “You just gotta trust us, that we’re not gonna leave you just ‘cuz you get angry sometimes.”

Is that really what he’s been afraid of this whole time? That certainly seems to be a part of it, but not the whole. All the same, he does at least feel that he can trust his family. And he can try to be more honest with them when something is bothering him.

“I think I can do that.” he says as he gets up from the hospital bed, ready to go home.

#Gravity Falls #Stanford Pines #Fanfiction #My Writing

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velvet-roads · 7 years ago

Text

Like a Virgin: Chapter 1

I attempted to post this a year ago and It has taken me that long to finish all 30 chapters. That’s right, you have 30 chapters coming your way. This was supposed to be a one shot but putting my heart in it made it longer.

This is all pre season 12, I am in denial about Crowley (I am sure I’m not the only one). The fic is a female readerXcrowley.

Warnings: none

Word Count: around 3,700

Below I listed the music i was listening too that sparked my ideas (it’s an all over the place list. 2 songs per chapter) and the wardrobe I created for the reader. Again, I put my heart in it and got carried away. =)

Playing Cop: Hunter 's Outfit:

Music that inspired me (Spotify): Fear by Stop Making Friends/ Pauley Perrette and Electric Worry by Clutch.

“Hi, Agents Tyler, Cooper, Morrison; what do you got?” Going down the line Dean introduced himself, Sam and you to the local Sheriff. You all flashed your badges like it was second nature. In actuality, it was for Sam and Dean. You, not so much. It was still weird having to don a dark grey power suit and black stiletto heels as part of your "work attire”. You were not really that fond of the bureaus dress code but getting to play cop was sort of fun.

This was the third field case you had worked with the boys since they had saved your ass from a wendigo 6 months ago. You would usually get stuck on research duty and were only allowed to help on the easier cases. It's not that you were a bad hunter but you were really new to the whole hunters' lifestyle and were still in training. The other reason was because of how tiny you were. The boys were convinced that you were more fragile than necessary because you were just over five feet tall on a good day. You looked more like bait than a standard hunter. Regardless of your green horn status and small stature, the boys thought this instance was one you could live through. After the sheriff scrutinized your badges with hooded tired eyes, he decided that they met his expectations.

“The victim's name was Sarah Lake, she was taken some time either Tuesday night or early Wednesday morning. Her friends say that she was up late that night studying in the library for an exam. She never made it to the test Wednesday afternoon and no one has seen her since.” As the Sheriff spoke he had an expression that was a mixture of exhaustion and sadness. It was a common expression found on college campus law enforcement. The local PD would usually get a lot of crap to sort through during the week when it came to colleges. They would get calls from kids thinking that they were being funny while drunk, occasionally a serious call that ended up being a prank, and sometimes a call like this; not an easy job.

You and the boys walked over to the girl's gold Ford Focus where the Sheriff was standing next to the broken driver's side window. It was still morning so you could see the sun shimmer on the shattered glass making it glitter in the light. Mentally you chuckled to yourself as you looked the car over because this was defiantly a collage girls' car. From the Bath and Body Works scent clip attached to the visor to the Hawaiian flower sticker in the back window. There were cars like this all over Kaplan University. It made sense why it took a couple of days to notice something was amiss. With that many cars around one broken window isn't that noticeable.

“I will let you three take a look around and see if there is anything I may have missed.” With a tip of his hat, the Sheriff trudged off back to his squad car probably to down more coffee.

“How many girls is this now?” Dean let out a low growl on the word 'now', clearly getting frustrated that you guys had another missing girl.

“This is the third one in a week. Whatever is taking these girls isn't messing around.” You let out a deep sigh as you summarized the body count and walked over to the passenger side door opening it. As you leaned in and started to look around, Sam stuck his head through the broken window and took a deep breath.

“Well, no sulfur smell, so I think we can rule out a demon attacks. Plus, this abduction pattern is specific to just girls.” With a perplexed expression Sam removed his head from the car and walked to the trunk with Dean, leaving you to rummage throughout the car cabin. Dean displayed the case files of all the missing girls out on the trunk so he and Sam could have another glance at all three of them.

“What do we know that connects all three girls?” Dean asked out loud not expecting an answer. Sam grabbed the campus information and began to read. It didn't look like there was anything that connected them. One girl was an exchange student from Europe, another was a sorority brat, and the last girl was just a normal run of the mill student living in the dorms. None of them were even taking the same classes. After rifling through a few more papers Sam got an interested look on his face. There was a list of emails between the victims. Scanning through some of the conversations that he found, it became clear the girls did in fact all know each other.

“Well,” Sam said while holding a piece of paper up to Dean’s face; “It looks like all three girls did know each other. They were all part of a club called Modern Maidenhood here on campus.”

“Great,” Dean stated with an irritated tone in his voice; “a coven?” Sam let out a breathy laugh at his brother,

“Try again Dean.” As if in a cartoon, Sam could almost see the light bulb come on over top of Dean’s head.

“Virgins?” he asked in surprise; “freaking virgins?” Dean let out a small sigh and shook his head, “sorry ladies, you got a raw deal.” He moved back around to the broken driver's side window and stuck his head inside. You were still looking around the seats when you heard your name.

“Hey, Y/N. We figured out how all of the girls are connected. They are all virgins.” Dean looked at you waiting for a response or some sort of joke but you said nothing. You were somewhat surprised at what he just told you; mostly because you and these girls had something in common and the boys had no clue that virginity was your secret. As Dean relayed the new information, Sam appeared next to him watching you through the window. You stopped digging around the car for the moment and returned their gaze.

“Well, what do we know that likes virgins?” You asked trying to quell the slight panic that was running through your mind. Lucky for you, the boys didn't notice. The three of you just stared at each other while going through the mental files you all had of the monsters you battled or read about. You spoke first.

“Well, we know that the alpha vamp you guys came across liked to keep at least one around because she was considered a delicacy.” You said the word ‘delicacy’ as if it had left a bad taste in your mouth. The thought of blood drinking was quite unappealing to you. “Also, we know that dragons tend to favor them but you said that you guys haven't seen any since Eve.” you added.

“Yeah and we know it isn't that Vesta bitch, we ganked her a while ago, plus she didn't go for just girls.” Dean said. The three of you discerning that you did not have enough information decided that it is better to just keep digging around the crime scene and then more later at the bunker. Just as the boys retracted from the window you felt something in-between the seats. You reached down to grab it and pull it out. It was a cheap fake gold necklace chain with a small gold bow pendant and you were willing to bet anything that it came from Forever Twenty-one (could this girl be anymore cliché?). The clasp was broken like it had been ripped off.

“Hey guys, I think I know what we might be up against.” You said as you held up the necklace for them to see. Sam took the evidence out of your hand as you stepped out of the passenger side and shut the door.

“A vampire wouldn't care about a fake gold necklace,” he looked at both you and Dean knowing you were all thinking the same thing; “however, a dragon would.” The three of you let out a heavy sigh at the realization that you are most likely hunting a damn dragon. Sam stuffed the accessory in his pocket and you all returned back to the sheriff who, like you suspected, was drinking coffee in his squad car. The boys told him that if they come across anything new that they would give him a call and that they expected the same courtesy. Getting back in the Impala, you headed home to do some more digging. Luckily the university was only about 100 miles from the bunker which meant you would only have to listen to Sam and Dean argue over tunes for 2 hours, it could be worse.

After getting home you, all went your separate ways; the boys usually went get a beer and you had to get out of that god-awful suit. You weren't even in the bunker 5 minutes when you heard a crash from the kitchen.

You were in the middle of changing your clothes when it happened. Upon hearing the commotion, you threw open your door and ran down the hall with your knife in your hand. You stopped at the door frame to see what happened. Three pairs of eyes turned to look at you standing there in nothing but one of Dean’s old dark red flannels, a pair of black underwear, messy hair, and a knife. Realizing that there was no attack happening you noticed and extra body in the room; Crowley. A scarlet shade overtook your face as all three of them looked at you. Dean, trying not to laugh at your state and doing a horrible job, bent over and picked up the beer bottle that he had dropped when Crowley surprised him unannounced. Crowley looked you up and down, as a cheeky smile formed on his face.

“Hello, Darling.” he said in that sexy accent of his; “If I would have known this was how you were going to greet me I would come over more often. However, I would prefer that you put the knife down, love.” You turned away before your face could get any redder or hotter. The last thing you wanted was the boys and the King of Hell to know that you were harboring a crush on the demon. You met Crowley very shortly after moving in with the boys. So, you have known him for almost 6 months. He wasn’t around all the time but when he was around you had a hard time fighting with your feelings. You wanted to like him but a human and a demon was a bad idea. Your interactions with Crowley were short and usually full of innocent flirting and quippy banter, but each meeting made you feel for him a little bit more.

Running back to your room with your shame trailing behind you, you threw on a pair of grey motorcycle jeans, your black leather cuff, your black biker boots, and buttoned the shirt you were wearing the rest of the way. Taking a moment to regain your composure and letting your face get somewhat back to its normal color, you left your room to go confront your demons, well demon actually.

Upon entering the kitchen, you went past all three of the guys and straight for the liquor. Crowley made you nervous, and not in a bad way like being in a room with the King of Hell should; damn him. After pouring yourself a glass of courage you turned back to the boys; Crowley was watching you intently, no doubt enjoying the fact that he embarrassed you and saw you half naked. Sam walked over to the counter where you stood and asked if you were OK. You gave him a single nod as you took a sip. From the dining table Dean spoke, breaking the awkward silence that you had accidentally created.

“Crowley, can you please explain to me why the hell you are here?” He asked pretending to be more annoyed than he actually was. Crowley and the boys had a history, a messy one, but one nonetheless.

“Squirrel, I am hurt. Did you not miss me?” Crowley always knew how to get right under Dean’s skin, which is probably why he always flirted with you.

“No, not really. Again, why are you here?” Dean’s tone was a lot more demanding this time. He didn't necessarily hate Crowley but he definitely didn't trust him. The demon started to pace a bit, his expensive leather shoes shuffling slightly as he walked. He sauntered over to you and grabbed himself a glass of whiskey as well. You tried desperately to keep yourself together as you nervously drank your liquor. He observed that you were slightly flustered and he studied you intrigued. Before leaving the counter and turning back to the middle of the room, he took a sip and gave you a wink that would have made even a nun question her sexual morals. Damn he was adorable. Addressing all three of you he finally responded to Dean's query.

“I assume you have heard about all of the recent abductions?” He eyed the three of you waiting for a response. You all gave a curt nod showing that you understood and that you were listening.

“And I assume you know what you are hunting then?” This was more of a statement than a real question. He knew that you all had some idea. This time, you spoke.

"We are betting on a Dragon." You said, shrugging your shoulders slightly, you took another sip of your drink and waited for him to speak again.

“That’s right love, you are hunting a dragon.” Sam instinctively scooted closer and draped an arm around you after seeing that Crowley was gawking. There was nothing romantic between you and Sam, he was pretty much your brother, but he was very protective.

“We know what we’re hunting”, Sam said still keeping you close to himself, “but that still doesn’t tell us why you’re here.” Crowley surveyed the room. He was stalling. You could tell that he wasn't looking forward to his next sentence because he looked down at his drink and swirled it a bit before answering.

“I need a favor from you three.” Crowley almost wasn't able to finish his sentence before Dean stood up from the kitchen table where he had been seated. Dean placed his arms tight against his chest and moved over to you and Sam. You knew at this point he was quickly losing his patients with The King of Hell.

“So, what exactly does the all mighty King need from us?” The older Winchester's reply was dripping with sarcasm and Crowley could not help but roll his eyes in return. Crowley swallowed another sip of his whiskey, making a slight face because it was cheap stuff, and purposefully drug out his answer because he knew it would piss Dean off. As you watched the exchange you had no luck quelling your small smile. It was so easy to get at Dean.

Finally, the demon spoke; “I happen to know that the big daddy dragon is in town.” The three of you looked at him in surprise and curiosity as he continued. “All of the kidnappings are happening at his request. I want you to bring me the alpha.” He took another sip and waited for a response. You all ogled at each other in surprise and suspicion. You were shocked because up until the Purgatory mayhem dragons had been gone for 700 years and as far you knew the boys had only managed to kill one. After that they were not seen again. Crowley, however, was the sole reason for suspicion. You could tell that he was leaving out some information. What did he want an alpha for again?

“What exactly do you want with an alpha?” Sam asked the question you were all thinking.

“What does it bloody matter? You bring me the alpha and there is one less dragon to worry about.” Crowley looked at the three of you clearly exasperated at your lack of compliance. Even though you carried a torch for the King of Hell you knew better than to trust him fully, he was a cut-throat business man first and foremost.

“Crowley, you don't seriously expect us to believe that you are giving us the whole story, right? We all know you better than that.” You crossed your arms against your chest like Dean. You may be small and new to this whole hunting thing but you were smart. You knew that Crowley liked to occasionally 'forget' the fine print. He looked at you in fake shock and placed his hand over his heart as if you had just shot him.

“Dove, you wound me.” He smiled as he talked to you. With a small grin, you rolled your eyes and shook your head slightly in response. Seeing you and Crowley act so casually with each other made Sam tighten his grip on your shoulder. Crowley’s smile faded as Dean cleared his throat to get things back on track and to get the King of Hell to stop bantering with you.

“You got me. I happen to know that the alpha is planning to take out as many of my people as he can, possibly me as well. Kansas is just the first stop.” The three of you stared in confusion at one another then looked back at Crowley. The demon put his fingers on the bridge of his nose and pitched it taking a deep breath, clearly getting irritated that he had to spell it all out for you. “There is a spell...” he started to explain but he didn't get much farther than that when your confusion lifted and was replaced with understanding.

“Do you remember when you told me about the time that you got arrested by the real FBI and you guys were stuck in the prison while all of Lilith’s minions were trying to kill you?” You asked, turning to face the boys. There was an air of excitement in your tone because you knew something they didn't. One of the benefits of always getting stuck on book duty was that you had read up on a lot of creatures, and a lot of the boys' old cases that Sam had transcribed. They both looked at you and nodded solemnly at remembering that horrible day. “Ok, do you remember when Ruby told you that there was a spell to destroy all demons with in a one-mile radius?” You didn't have help carry their thoughts much farther than that before things clicked for Sam.

“She said she would have to have the heart of a virgin to do it,” Sam said finishing your thought. The three of you then turned to look at Crowley.

“Glad to see we are all on the same page now. Gold star for you, I am impressed, love.” Crowley's eyes lingered on you a bit longer than necessary and you tried to hold back a blush as he continued. “Now, he is going to keep gathering up as many virgins as he can in the hopes of wiping out any and all demons off the earth. I want you to bring him to me so we can have a little chat and then I will kill him. This is personal.” The kitchen was silent as the three of you contemplated the job. Obliterating all demons was not as positive as it once had been. Having Crowley and coincidentally his army on your team (most of the time) had paid off more than once. But of course, Senior 'Shoot first and ask later' didn’t care.

“No deal.” Dean made the statement stepping forward like a proud captain. “I don't plan on being Hell’s bitch again any time soon.” Sam looked at Dean then back at Crowley. The boys had worked for Crowley before and it didn't end well.

“I agree with Dean, it’s not a good idea for us.” Sam loosened his grip on your shoulder and went to stand next to his brother in support. You stayed where you were for the moment really thinking things through. Thinking was something you did more often than the boys. You liked to weigh and measure the situation. You felt the King of Hell’s gaze on you, he knew that you gravitated towards reason when it came to dealing with the Winchesters.

“I will help you on one condition,” as you spoke, Sam and Dean eyed you with shocked expressions, their hands dropping at their sides in exasperation that you were not agreeing with them. “We will help you get the alpha. You work with us, we don't work for you. Once we eighty-six the alpha we go after whatever dragons are left, together.” While compromising, you moved from the counter to stand next to your adoptive brothers. The boys didn't say anything because they were still surprised at you. A sly grin inched across Crowley’s features. Not only did you manage to get the King what he wanted but you also stunned the boys into silence.

“I like you pet, I think these boys should listen to you more often.” You refused to give him any inclination as to how much you liked getting his approval and him calling you 'pet'. Instead you pretended that you hated it and found it offensive.

“Don't call me pet, I am a hunter, not some play thing.” You tried to muster up as much venom as you could in your words but it was difficult to. Crowley smirked and threw his hands up in mock surrender and then turned back to the two brothers who now were beginning to resemble statues with their mouths set in disbelief.

“Lads?” He asked with a raised eyebrow and a cocky twitch of his lip.

“Fine.” Dean made the statement with disdain and a set jaw.

“Crowley if you put one toe out of line....” Sam started to add a threat on to Dean's answer but Crowley beat him to it.

“I know, I know, you kill me;” The King responded sarcastically, “Well then, where should we get started?”

#crowleyxreader #crowley #supernatural #series #likeavirgin #spnfamily #spn fanfic #fanfic #SamWinchester #deanwinchester

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