#kakashi things

[konohagakurekakashi]

How does a day of training look for the Anbu? Is it more rigurous than normal shinobi training? Is there a routine you follow?

Well...Let's see...The Anbu are skilled, covert operatives hand picked by the village leader for special assassination and tactical missions, missions which (usually) fall within the A-S rank range. Due to the nature of the assignments, it's only natural that the operatives selected would receive training which differs from the rudimentary arts taught at the academy.

With that said all squads don't necessarily receive the same training, or follow the same routines. Black ops teams are highly specialized, formed for the highest possible success rate of the mission for which they were selected. In other words, you'll have different divisions with different squads, be it hunter squads, surveillance, demolition squads, etc. and said teams would focus on training regimes that will polish those specific skills sets.

I suppose there are some teachings that all Anbu have to suffer through. For one all agents are required to learn the Anbu codes and hand signs (which differs vastly from the normal fields signs). Anbu has intimate knowledge of human anatomy - how to incapacitate, kill and dispose of any remains, soundless, and in the quickest possible way. Kenjutsu is an additional requirement as Ninjato is basically part of the standard uniform. Another is advanced Taijutsu. Anbu are supposed to be anonymous in every sense of the word, so the first thing that new recruits are usually stripped of are the basic forms taught by the Konohagakure Academy, as well as any clan specific jutsu or kata. It won't do for an operative to be recognised on the field due to a joint-lock or throw known to be used by a Firenation clan, after all.

I won't go into further detail, since it won't do to scare off any future recruits. Some info is best gathered in practice, neh?

[socra-time]

The Special Mission:

[bl00dalchemist]

He cried himself to sleep for the next three months but Rin doesn't need to know that.

[malcontentonline]

[swagglessmoth]

This scenario has been in my head for months.

If the pacing or dialogue are weird it’s bc I forgor how it went while drawing loll

Part two

[ralburry]

can’t blame iruka, man reads porn in front of kids 💔

rest of canvas…..tried new line art brush n i think it turned out good 😛

silly closeups

my fav irkk interpretations r when kakashi is down bad and obvious while iruka is perpetually confused and offended by his existence. even better if iruka is incredibly aware of kakashi’s feelings and still acts like this.

i just can’t imagine a world where iruka falls first…i need kakashi to be pathetic for him <- me projecting my love for iruka onto kakashi

[oh-no-its-bird]

Shikamaru accidentally becomes the second coming of Jiraiya via anonymously publishing BL novels with Sakura and Ino as his managers and editors

HEAR ME OUT. HEAR ME OUT.

Ok so, Shikamaru's grandfather passes away (aka my oc Shikasada, for those in the know) and among his things is a very old diary dating back to Konoha's founding. Shikamaru opens it to fund uhh. Many things. Many things he could have gone without knowing. Mostly revolving around his grandpa's apparent years long slow burn affair w some Hatake boy.

Shikamaru, sort of horrified but in too deep to back out now, resolves to at least finish the diary-- and despite himself, besides some of the more painful to read sections, there really is a lot of really interesting information in the diary.

Which brings Shikamaru to being unable to set down the diary, and bringing it to the academy with him in the morning.

(Quick note, lets set this like two or three months before graduation, so Shikamaru is like, ~13 I think)

SO, SHIKAMARU IS IN CLASS AND READING HIS GRANDFATHERS DIARY IN THE BACK OF THE CLASS (his first mistake, tbh) And he doesnt notice as Ino and Sakura appear behind him and Ino starts reading over his shoulder. And Ino, proud fujo, after a minute of reading goes really loudly,

"is that YAOI???"

And now Shikamaru essentially has two options. Both of them a uniquely kind of terrible. Does he,

a) admit this is his grandfathers very gay, very sappy, very depressing, kind of steamy diary about how he cheated on his fiance with a Hatake boy and even briefly debated running away from his wedding to be with him instead (but ultimately didnt)

or, b) let his classmates think hes a fan of doomed yaoi romance novels.

He decides that option b at least doesnt invoke a possible scandle for his clan (which his mom would kill him for) and says its a book.

Sakura immediately points out the fact that its hand written.

On pure reflex, Shikamaru blurts, "I wrote it."

(Instant regret.)

So anyways Ino and Sakura (mostly Ino) bully Shikamaru into letting them read 'his' book. And they come back to him with it going "omg, this is amazing! It's just as good-- maybe even better than most of the things on the market right now!!!"

And Shikamaru is like, "great can I have it back please."

And they're like "Shikamaru, you cant just let this kind of masterpiece rot in your closet!!!! This is incredible!!!! Heart wrenching!!! Hair raising!!! Super dramatic and filled with tension and drama and history and 𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒 !"

And Shikamaru, again, is like, "Great. Can I have it back please."

"Shikamaru, you don't understand. You have a gift."

"Can I please have it back now."

So. One thing leads to another and after much peer pressure (and maybe some light threats of blackmail because Ino and Sakura have totally realized that Shikamaru didn't actually write the diary, and it instead belonged to his grandfather. (Mostly because Ino had actually met the man before, and obviously recognized his name)) Shikamaru has now gained:

a) two very eager 13 year old publishing managers / editors

b) the contact information of Sakura's cousin, who coincidentally works at one of the biggest publishing houses in Fire counry.

c) somehow, some way, the obligation to edit and publish his grandfathers diary as a bl romance novel.

Shikamaru hates his fucking life.

SO. THEY PUBLISH IT AFTER SOME EDITING AND CHANGING OF CLAN NAMES AND ITS A WILD SUCCESS. SHIKAMARU IS KIND OF MAD AT HOW MUCH OF A WILD SUCCES IT IS.

(Though, laying in his bed of money that now rivals his father's personal funds as the Nara clan head, he can't bring himself to be... as mad as he might have otherwise been.)

(Sakura and Ino, also with their giant piles of money, are also very satisfied.)

But the satisfaction doesnt last for long bc soon the girls are scheming to get Shikamaru to write something new for them to publish.

"But I didn't write the diary to begin with!" Shikamaru argues.

"What does it matter?" Ino insists. "You still edited it, and it was your grandfather who wrote it! Some of the talent has to be there!"

(depressingly enough for Shikamaru, some of the talent does seem to be there.)

And thus begins Shikamaru's life of becoming a famous romance author with his (blackmailers) managers Ino and Sakura <3

(In the pure lands, Shikamaru's grandfather is screaming into a pillow as his Hatake boy in question laughs his ass off and insists this is exactly what he deserves after keeping them a secret for so long. Really, Shika, you should be proud for having such a resourceful grandson.)

So anyways, this brings me to the fact that Sakura's first ever encounter with her new sensei, Kakashi, would have gone WILDLY different on her end. Because she saw the original diary. She, unlike the general public, didn't get the edited version of the story with changed clan names.

So when her teacher walks into the room and introduces himself, her very first thought is omg like the yaoi.

And her first act is to start giggling maniacally in the corner of the room like a little freak. In Sakura we stan

Kakashi meanwhile has no fucking clue what kind of drugs that little girl is on, but finds that he probably doesn't want to know.

WHICH ALSO BRINGS ME TO THE FACT THAT LIKE. Theres something profoundly funny about known icha-icha lover Kakashi reading this novel and becoming a huge fan-- absolutey 100% unaware that it's about HIS direct cousin, only two generations back.

Shikamaru put way more effort into disguising the Nara clan's involvement in the book-- both because he cares more about the Nara and because he kinda uhh... was under the impression that the Hatake were all dead, like, for real. In the book, the Nara's clan name is changed, the character names are changed, their sacred animal is changed to a rabbit and their traditions are all altered-- but the Hatake clan just becomes the Hasake clan and is largely left alone bc Shikamaru is 13 and can't really be bothered to go the extra mile.

(Editing so much is such a bother, Ino. You just dont get it)

So like, Shikamaru has no idea who Kakashi is, he only learns he exists when Sakura fucking bodyslams into him and Ino screaming about how HER NEW TEACHER IS RELATED TO THAT GUY YOUR GRANDPA HAD NASTY GAY SEX WITH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"THE ONE LIKE IN THE DIARY ONE???" Ino screams

"IS THERE ANOTHER GUY WHO HAD NASTY GAY SEX WITH SHIKAMARU'S GRANDPA WHO I'M SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT??!?!?" Sakura screams back

Shikamaru just screams into his pillow. The girls both ignore him.

Meanwhile, Kakashi knows SHIT about his clan and recognizes nothing in the novel. Which is a special kind of tragic because as he reads it, he's being given more information than he's ever been given about his clan. And even specific stories and in depth recorded conversations about his grandmother-- and even occasional mentions of his own father as a baby, and he just... has no idea.

Man is literally reading about his ancestors, getting stories of his family only a single generation before him, going: "Wow something about this clan just speaks to me. Probably the dogs."

Literally getting his fathers childhood stories. Not a single clue.

Hes going on a mission going "Hmm, what would Haruka Hasake from hit bl series XXX do" like that isnt secretly his fucking GRANDMA

Meanwhile, all three of the kids are acting SO shady around him. Ino and Shikamaru specifically are so fucking suspicious bc they are largely successful in avoiding him like the plague-- so when they do interact, it's an Event(tm) for them, while Sakura is forced to learn to be normal near him via exposure.

Tho not even the sage himself can save Sakura from the day Kakashi pulls out THE book during training instead of his usual icha-icha. Sakura fucks up her aim on a body flicker and flies straight into a tree, giving herself a concussion. Rip!!

Anyways yeah. Let Shikamaru discover his grandfathers old, scandal filled diary and be blackmailed by Ino and Sakura into publishing it-- setting him on his journey of becoming the next big thing in naruto romance publishing. It'd be funny as hell.

Special thanks to @imsosleepyofyourbull and @halsaph for talking to me about this on discord, this is so fucking stupid and I had so much fun with it

[tora-the-cat]

Minato, has been a jonnin since he was 14, talking to 14 year old jonnin kakashi: Wow buddy. you've had a REALLY rough couple of months. what do kid geniuses like…..murder? Muder for the state? when I was your age I LOVED killing people for faint praise and horrified respect. you should join ANBU. If i wasn't made a sensei I TOTALLY woulda joined ANBU and, uh. well. you're my favorite student! I would NEVER make you a sensei so young! that would be cruel. I want 100 men dead by the time you get back from this mission and if anyone sees you no they didn't either kill them or yourself. But most importantly, have fun =)

[pridoo]

"Firsts" for @kkobweek! I wish the cherry blossom season would be here soon, but at least I can always have obkk hanami <3

[konohagakurekakashi]

You never pay for your own lunch so what do you spend youre money on

[kokodrawings]

Artober day 3!

[purple-ravaged]

red and green and red (again)

[bl00dalchemist]

Obito survives but he's trying to act normal (he's not, actually)

[pink-linoleum]

redraw of an older post. sheikah kakashi

[swagglessmoth]

You bring your friends over ONE ☝️ time and your grandma STILL manages to embarrass you in front of them 😤

[indigo-brainspark]

rewatched the first ep of the kakashi anbu arc. and it's so funny to me that minato assigned kakashi to anbu, quite literally the assassination and black ops force where all the members solely identify each other by animal names, then thought to himself "wow after rin essentially killed herself/he killed her, he's probably traumatized. that's something ppl are traumatized by, right?" and had another anbu basically give him a psych eval.

then the guy watched kakashi completely dissociate and murder four targets w no consideration for gathering more intel, willingly rip off his mask to let the last guy see his face before killing him in a blast that could be seen from above the treeline, and leave his face and identity fully exposed until the rest of the squad caught up to him.

and the guy reports back like "yh there weren't any issues 👍 great soldier. awesome at murder. brilliant fit for this job"