#kd answers

[smokescreenimusprime]

ok so I love the archivist au. Like. Perfect opportunities for crack and angst respectively

So it’s been said that smokescreen has satan in his basement and he’s desensitized

What if when he’s annoyed enough he just starts telling Unicron to shut up

Now imagine. Smokescreen Talking to someone(Bee or ratchet or prowl, anyone), and then suddenly the VOICE OF THE CYBERTRONIAN ANTICHRIST starts screaming at you both and the librarian, silly social man who’s chill, just SCREAMS at unicron to shut up.

Some autobot with high clearance : Ok so we need to talk about these robberies

Smokescreen: Alr! What do you need to talk about?

Unicron: *Insert screams of the damned here as he swears at smokescreen*

Autobot: *Horrified*

Smokescreen: One second, one second. *turns*

SHUT THE FRAG UP UNICRON

Stunned silence from both Unicron and whoever smokescreen was talking to.

AALLSO! Would being nearby the antichrist on basically a daily basis have effects on smokescreen? If so what kinds of effects?

EXACTLY

THIS IS MY EXACT THOUGHT PROCESS FOR HOW IT GOES!!! YOU GET MY VISION!!!!!!

Imagine being this random ass detective or enforcer or whoever is investigating the various attempted robberies on the newly rebuilt Archives. There was a bit of background done on the head Archivist, at least as much as was available. There wasn't too much to be found, so they assume he was probably one of the millions of bots who was scattered to the stars. Rumors say he's a friendly, chatty bot. Few, if any, enemies. Young. Agreeable, if a bit reckless at times.

And when they get to the Archives? All of that holds water and then some. He's perfectly welcoming and transparent with the investigation, doesn't take offense to them pointing out holes in the admittedly very well organized security, and was even thorough in checking their clearance before taking them to the more... sensitive and secretive parts. He makes small talk as they move, outlines everything cleanly and concisely with the practice of someone used to giving official reports, and it seems like nothing of note will happen

but then just as they start wrapping up, one of the relic rooms starts shrieking bloody murder.

The Autobot stops and jolts, a raw primal feral sort of fear being launched straight through their spark. Because that was a noise no living thing could make, was a noise that boomed and demanded respect, that made them so painfully aware of the fact that there were things much larger and much stronger than they were in this world. They wanted to run away to transform to put as much distance between them and that door as physically possible

And Smokescreen, who was supposed to be nothing more than a friendly archivist, showed barely any sign of being affected by it aside from his smile tightening and his doorwings flaring out.

"Excuse me a second," he says

And then he walks toward the door.

The Autobot is too frozen in fear to stop him despite the roaring urge that that is what they should do before this silly, chatty, foolish archivist gets himself killed

He opens the door anyways and the noise impossibly manages to get louder. Only now the shrieking has meaning, words, attached to it. The shrieks are curses and promises of death, of lost ones being ripped away and crushed beneath its heel

It is threats, and every single one is being directed at Smokescreen

who still shows no sign of being affected

who looks positively annoyed by the glowing, swirling jar in the center of the room holding Unicron Himself

who opens his mouth and yells back and threatens the jar into silence

then he walks out

closes the door

apologizes for the interruption

and keeps fragging walking

how would you even respond to that????

[koneko-dreams]

How fucking dare you.

I heard that you’ve been calling MY son your son. I don’t think you have the power to give birth to an egg or that you have the magical power (or enough of it) to hatch said egg.

Tell me, who gave you permission to do that?

@meleanor-draconia

I only see him as my son. I see everyone as my child- Nonetheless, your said son has also called me "mother" so I don't see the problem

[koneko-dreams]

It's alright. Only a quiz, my child.

...Well, I suppose it isn't lying. I do daydream a lot- I mean a lot.

took the "what's your red flag" quiz and got emotionally unavailable, bitch I KNOW

[leeyu-the-pikachu]

You should totally draw Jiji from Kiki's Delivery Service with the D3 expression (He missed his nap because he was doing a delivery with Kiki)

HELP IDK HOW TO DRAW CATS

tyy for the askk!!

[vldlance]

HIIII HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US 🎉🎉🎉🎉

i'm so glad we got to continue our friendship even outside of klance/tumblr and i'm happy we got closer because of it :)) thank u guys for always supporting me and my silly rambles lol also it's so crazy to think that we've known each other long enough for you to like...see me grow up which is actually insane but also kinda cool? anyways you already know i love u both to the moon and back <3

-kd 🩵❤️🩵❤️🩵❤️🩵

THE BELATED RESPONSE IS CRAZY but this is why if you’re sending on tumblr it should always go to ren smh anyways HAPPY FRIENDIVERSARY!!! this art is so adorable and makes me very 🥹🥹🥹🥹

it’s been so so so cool getting to know you as you figure out the world and what you want to do with your life and i’m such a proud big brother at all times. pats you on the head for SURE

love and appreciate you and your endless energy and kindness 💙 here’s to a million more years of being friends!

[feelingofcontent]

"I would love to do something live again, or a bit more chatty - with Dan - at some point...cause I just enjoy it a lot"

please please please pleeeassssse 🙏😭😭

[jonsaremembers]

re: photoshoots - hear me out:

If Dan ever retires Sister Daniel they should go out with a bang by replicating the 'kd lang/ cindy crawford barber's chair' shoot from the 90s ❤️

NBSII...

L-A x

O.O

[veilk]

🐦‍⬛

two emojis!! im unsure if this was the intent but ill do them separately... two dragons for you!!

[ID: A female Antarean Dragon from Dragon Cave. It's a shimmery orange dragon with large, feathered wings and reflective yellow mane. /End ID]

antarean comes to mind!! i always forget what they look like until i see them again... i find them very pretty so i'm always pleasantly surprised, hehe. apparently there are in universe legends that these guys are aliens?? which i didn't know until tonight but think is very cool

[ID: A male Spirit Ward dragon in its day and night forms. Its day form is a deep blue black, and its night form is a bright, glowing orange. /End ID]

dragon number two: spirit ward dragon!! one of the first dragons ive ever gotten!! extremely dear to me.. see. see okay during the day these guys are fully black but as it gets later into the night they slowly glow brighter and brighter... i only included the brightest sprite but they have like, five separate night sprites because of this. theyre very cool to me...

[rainintheevening]

∞

Whiplash to a hilarious Canadian classic, 'If I Had $100,000' by the Barenaked Ladies. This is probably my favourite bit, especially since I am craving KD right now.

If I had a million dollars

We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner

But we would eat Kraft Dinner

Of course we would, we'd just eat more

(It's Yelana's fault. I just finished watching Hawkeye again.)

[smokescreenimusprime]

Cracky AU of an AU. Instead of Smokescreen being a Decepticon spy that intercepted a guard, he intercepts a spy while on guard duty and confiscates the guy's credentials. During the fall of Iacon, he happens to have that on him so he gets spared and promptly bags a bunch of info when he wakes up before he can get found out. Finds out about stuff like Project Predacon a full season before Shockwave shows up on Earth.

DHFJBVDHJFBVFJD oh christ that would be chaotic as shit-

maybe it was some sort of Pre-Iacon invasion spy, potentially a shapeshifter who was looking to replace Smokescreen, but obviously that didn't turn out well

Smokescreen's just hanging out here with the Cons a la "How do you do fellow kids?" and accidentally finding So many secret planned war crimes while desperately trying to not blow his cover

[koneko-dreams]

YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED!!!

@meleanor-draconia

(Ignore the fact that Meleanor is petty…they hashed it out 💀)

Huh?- what happened?-

[sins-and-sincerity]

okep def shouldve went w kd i forgot how my dad is w morning traffic

[chromosoid]

Ok the MW3 COD nerds got their remaster now it’s time for BO2 remastered.

Pls n thanx

[worstestselfshipper]

1, 10, and 15 for the lore asks!

1. (K)ill(d)eer / July 5, 2002 (40, if I'm playing my cards right) / 5'10 / Not sure about exact weight class yet, but toned and mildly muscular / Transmasc - He or it, choose one. Pre-everything / Human-mutant hybrid. Haven't decided his class of mutation yet really but He Is One! / Black, long hair, milky white eyes that are glossy. Always wears a balaclava and a silver jacket, with a bulletproof vest on top

10. Most of the others don't give it much thought. Virginia could care less about what others are doing, and Kelvin has no clue wtf is going on point blank. Eric is a little bit offput by the relationship given Multiple Circumstances (Ex-Sahara "employee", generally just all hated each other before Tim and KD grew closer). Despite his not-so-positive outlook on KD, he doesn't think anyone would be better for his son. KD and Tim can, at the very least, understand each other's plight, and that's kind of all Eric wants for his kid.

15. He has a shifting role in the story. It's not really /too/ thought out yet since the game hasn't even reached beta build yet, but from what we know about the story, KD is a part of Jianyu's faction initially (because he's stuck with Sahara), and is looking for an out. He's brainwashed into believing the LeBlancs are end all be alls of the company, and life as he knows it. So, he's sent out to stop (KILL) them. After a failed assassination, he learns about their true intentions and is like Oh Shit. Maybe I'm The Bad Guy and has an offscreen long few moments of introspection before deciding to play double agent. He feeds information to the LeBlancs, and feeds (mostly) false information to Sahara. As the game progresses he'd probably become a companion NPC around the same time that Timmy (supposedly) would or something. So, minor antagonist to companion-side character

[foxesscramble]

(Some of) the Foxes doing the WIRED Autocomplete Interview

Question: What is Neil Josten's real name

NJ: Neil Josten.

Question: What is Neil Josten exy position

NJ: I'm a starting striker.

Question: What is Neil Josten family tree

NJ: Small.

Question: Neil Josten’s sassiest moments compilation

NJ: That's not a question. Andrew has a lot of those videos saved on TikTok.

Question: Neil Josten best plays

NJ: I think you mean plays best but yes.

Question: What is Kevin Day's dominant hand

KD: I used to be left-handed but now I’m right-handed. A bit ambidextrous but mostly right for right now.

Question: Kevin Day ski accident

KD: Boring, next.

Question: Kevin Day and Theo Muldani

KD: Yes.

Question: What happened to Kevin Day’s hand

KD: It got smashed.

Question: What happened between Kevin Day Neil Josten Jean Moreau

KD: A lot, but that will be staying between the three of us.

Question: Who is Matt Boyd dating

MB: Only the most beautiful powerful goddess of a woman, Dan Wilds. Love of my life. Fantastic woman.

Question: What team does Matt Boyd play for

MB: Right now I am in the middle of a transfer which is public knowledge so I cannot actually answer that but I can say I am trying out for the US Court in the future.

Question: Matt Boyd being in love with Neil Josten for 7 minutes and 23 seconds

MB: This is so real. Not a question but I feel like I’m probably the reason it’s so high on the list. I’ve reposted the video on my socials and it’s also got its own bookmarked tab on my computer. We’re soulmates. Dan agrees. I’m sure Andrew will come around to accepting the fact sometime soon. I just love him. He’s so cute, just like a kitten.

Question: What are Matt Boyd’s exy stats

MB: You’ll have to ask Kevin. I should probably know them but you've asked me and now I can't think.

Question: Who is Matt Boyd’s best friend

MB: Without a doubt, Neil Josten. I would say Dan but she’s the love of my life and we share custody of Neil so it’s definitely him.

Pt. 2 》 Renee Walker, Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick

Pt. 3 》 Allison Reynolds, Dan Wilds, Aaron Minyard

[trippinsorrows]

wish

authors note: this is set right before roman and solana have their first argument since being in american samoa, post cody's attack. once you get to the end, you can probably guess at to why the argument happens....

minimal, limited tags, cause i’ve been posting way too much.

this one is also in roman’s pov.

masterlist

words: 1.3k

warnings: fluff and angst(?)

“No!” It’s the combination of how he throws down the remainder of his cards and the pout on his face that make me smile. Especially when I see that said cards contain not only a Wild Card but a Draw 4. Understandable. I’d be irked, too. “No fair!”

A small chuckle as I start reshuffling the cards. “Naw, lil’ man. I’m just good.” 

His scowl deepens. “I hate losing.”

A point of agreement. “Me too.” 

Like father, like son.

Halfway done with shuffling is when I offer an out. “If you don’t want to play anymore….”

His eyes widen. “No!” I chuckle lightly at his expected answer. Something tells me he won’t want to stop until he wins, and with it getting a little later, I might have to help him out with that.

Kaiden suddenly reaches his hand across the pile of cards on the floor. His fingers lightly grazing my inked skin. I look between where those small fingers trace the outline of my tattoos. A glance at him reveals a look of wonder and interest. “You like tattoos?”

He nods happily, fingers continuing to explore. There’s a bit of tension that comes over me when he reaches that one. Etched between tribal markings, discreet and coy. Known to only two. Or…maybe not. 

And one look at him reveals it’s definitely not just two. “That one is like mommy’s!”

Very. The only difference being hers is the red sun behind the black moon, while mine is the red moon atop the black sun.  

That was the point.

But, it’s a truth too much for such a child, so I settle on a simple, “it is.” 

Thankfully, his attention is quickly moved onto examining the rest of my tattoos. “How many do you have?”

Another small chuckle. “Way too many to count.” 

His eyes light up like I’ve just issued the best challenge in the history of challenges. “I can count!” It’s less an offer and more an announcement as Kaiden climbs off the floor and moves to stand behind me, clearly, for whatever reason, wanting to start with my back.

“Here,” I place the cards down and remove my shirt, providing him unfiltered access. 

“Whoa….” Again, my smile only grows. A given in any interaction with him. With her. 

With them. 

The tips of his cold fingers as he starts counting away, but it’s only then, for whatever reason, when I feel his fingers there that I realize what else he’ll find on my back.

What he quickly asks about as his finger touches each. One. Two. Three. “What are these?” A question that feels a bit too inquisitive for a five year-old but one that just makes sense.

If only I knew how to answer it. 

Knew how to tell him they represent his sister. His mom. Him. 

But, the sound of footsteps serve as a save. A necessary rescue. 

“Alright, KD, it’s getting late, baby boy.” A groan of protest as I turn round to see him pouting once more, looking over at Solana who stands with a soft smile, arms crossed. “Your sister has already finished her bath and is waiting for you so we can do bedtime stories.”

That doesn’t seem to help, his scowl deepening. “I’m not tired.” He then turns to me, moving against me, holding onto me. “I wanna stay up and play with Roman.”

I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such a strong dislike of hearing my name on someone’s mouth. It feels wrong coming from him. Especially him.

And, Solana, forever the expert on me, knows this. I can tell in the way her gaze shifts to me, softening, as if apologetic, before refocusing on Kaiden. “Roman has to get up early in the morning, honey—”

His almost frantic expression shifts to me. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

“No, no.” My hand lifts to the back of his neck, gentle touch matching my tone, much more comforting than I’ve ever known myself capable of. “I’m not leaving.” I need to. It’s been a few weeks, and while being here has been nice, has been the best even, there’s a shitshow back home that I need to sort through. The mess we’ve made won’t get cleaned up by me remaining here.

But, that’s a conversation for another day. 

The reassurance is visibly helpful, his little shoulders dropping, scowl lessening. And then, another question. A little less unexpected. “Can you read our bedtime story?” A glance at Solana. “You and mommy?”

The easiest answer. One I know I can provide for the both of us. “Of course, buddy.”

I’m rewarded biggest smile as he suddenly dashes from me to Solana, taking her hand and tugging for her to follow him. “Come on, mommy!”

She giggles, “I’m coming.” A single glance from her to me, looking over her shoulder. Another unspoken, understood thing. Lingering. Something that stays with me even as I work to clean up the bit of mess made between Kaiden and I as I entertained him, while Kaydence spent time with Fetu and Ava, both teaching her the Siva Samoa. 

She likes them. The feeling is mutual, just stronger, for both the kids.

A lot stronger.

Not even an hour later, I sit leaned against the headboard of the king sized bed in one of the guest rooms. Kaiden is tucked into my side, latched onto every word that leaves my mouth from the book in hand. 

Solana sits at the foot of the bed, similar to myself, leaning against the footboard, Kaydence leaned into her but fully invested in the storybook, something simple and basic but the kids are eating up.

Makes sense. 

“….and the rest, you’ll find out tomorrow.” An abrupt, unexpected ending to the story they both seem keen on seeing and hearing to the end, but a brief, sneak glance from Solana indicated that it’s best to wrap it up. A bit of an unnecessary thing, as I already noticed the sleep overtaking both their faces as well as the quiet yawn and stretch that left Kaydence as she snuggled closer into Solana.

If only they realized sleep is imminent. 

“Noooo, we need to know,” Kaydence whines, pouting. While I see myself in Kaiden’s scowl, I see Solana in her pouts. 

Kaiden grabs onto my forearm. “More.”

“You gotta wait till tomorrow, baby,” Solana responds, looking between the two of them. “It’s time for bed.”

Kaiden’s scowl deepens. “Bed sucks.”

I chuckle, reaching to ruffle some of his hair. “Hey, you need sleep, buddy. How else are you gonna be ready to go surfing with me tomorrow?”

His eyes light up as Kaydence moves to her knees, looking at me with all the hope. “Can I come, too?”

Something warm in my chest. “Of course, you can, sweetie.”

It’s all the reassurance and encouragement they seem to need to set aside desire for more of the story and instead shuffling under the covers, eager for sleep to carry them into the morning that much quicker. 

They sleep in the same bed together, something I don’t fully understand given the house has six bedrooms, more than enough for them to have their own space, but they seem extremely close and suggestions about separate rooms only seem to incite anxiety, so I’ve left it alone. 

Whatever makes them most comfortable. 

Solana is heading towards the door, both of them settled, when Kaiden reaches for me, clearly wanting another hug. It’s almost natural, reaching down, letting him hug me, hold me. But, what isn’t natural is what comes over at me at the whispered statement that shocks me to my core. Makes that weight in my chest jump several tons, anchoring me down and emotionally paralyzing me.

“I wish you were our daddy instead.”