#keep going with that fact in the back of her mind at all times. that he can and will do this to her. that he’ll take himself and everything

[seellove]

husband!Sukuna x reader

Insecurity strikes after becoming a new mom when your normally horny as fuck husband hasn't tried to lay a finger on you since having a baby.

WC: 1.6k. TW: pregnancy and babies, suggestive at the end

“Okay, she’s down,” your husband sighs, shutting your bedroom door behind him. He briefly glances your way as he tugs his faded t-shirt off and tosses it on the floor. 

All these years later and the sight of the black ink winding across his toned body still takes your breath away. He’s always been hot with his shredded physique and tattoos that seem to accentuate every dip and valley of those muscles.

But nothing could have prepared you for how you’d feel seeing him be a dad. 

His unwavering confidence and arrogant demeanor was what he was known for, and a part of you loved that about him. He’d never back down from a challenge, always willing to put in the work to learn and succeed at anything. 

Even parenting.

The first time he went to hold his newborn daughter was one of the few times you’d ever seen him hesitate.  However, since that moment, he took every chance he could to secure her in his arms, determined to rid himself of whatever trepidation plagued him that day. Holding her in different ways and angles, loosely, tightly, trying anything and everything to learn what this little brat preferred.

He’d be damned if he ended up like one of those men who expected their woman to do everything just because he was “uncomfortable” or “not maternal.”

“I’m not some weak-minded man,” he’d spat at one point when you’d said you could take over if he felt unfit to do a task. “I’ll figure it out and get over it. No weaponized incompetence here.”  

Attraction to him that you thought has plateaued only swelled during the last four months.

But, lately you’d wondered if his attraction for you had tapered off. Historically, he’d never been able to keep his hands off of you…even while pregnant he’d happily obliged when your sex drive was insatiable.

It didn’t help that you felt like a stranger in your own body. You couldn’t miss the stretch marks that stared back at you every time you got changed and the extra weight that hadn’t seemed to budge still kept you in clothes that were larger than the pre-baby days. 

The doctors had cleared you to be intimate months ago and you were fully expecting him to jump you that night. All you’d heard about was women complaining that their husbands were badgering them for sex, but yet, yours never initiated. Your husband seemed perfectly content to abstain. In fact, you have never once detected a hint of resentment from him.

Hell if anything your boobs were bigger than ever considering you were breastfeeding. He’d still snuggle and hold you, but his hands never wandered and his kisses never pushed the limits.

Even if you weren’t feeling up to it, it would still be nice to feel wanted. Desired.

Sukuna sets up the baby monitor on his nightstand before flopping down next to you.

“Did she go down okay?” you ask.

“Kinda. We’ll see, she seemed a little restless but after a few laps around the house she fell asleep in my arms,” his deep voice answers, turning to look at the monitor as if to reassure himself of his answer. 

Sleeping peacefully, just like he expected.

Sukuna picks up his book from the nightstand, scooting closer to you and propping himself up against the headboard. The heat of his muscular arm against yours made your skin prickle, but other than that, you go back to reading your own book.

You try to keep your mind from spiraling back to that dark place of insecurity, but after reading the same page three times, you realize it's hopeless. Closing your book, you lay it back on your nightstand.

Laying in silence, you feel your mood start to deteriorate.

“Are you still attracted to me?” you blurt out after a few moments.

You’re met with silence at first and you begin to panic, regretting speaking such a thing out loud!

But then the fabric of his pillow rustles as he turns his head. You’re met with a pair of narrowed, crimson eyes and a furrowed brow that you can’t interpret as annoyance or confusion.

“What?” he mutters. 

You just stare back at him, trembling at the intensity in his stare. He can be an intimidating and scary man, normally not to you, but you’ve seen others cower in his presence.

“Answer me, what did you say?” he presses, closing his book and tossing it aside.

“I said, are you still attracted to me?” your voice wavers just a little.

“Of course I am, you’re my wife-”

“That makes it sound like an obligation,” you interrupt him.

Sukuna scoffs, rolling onto his side and propping himself up on one arm. The tattoos on his torso are tight against his pecs, looking hotter than ever as the sheets pool around his waist.

“What is this nonsense you’re spouting at me?” He sounds irritated now. “Out with it, stop these cryptic messages because even though I’m an elite sorcerer, I can’t read your mind woman and you know this.”

Swallowing hard, you start fidgeting with the blanket, pulling it even tighter over you like it’ll somehow protect you from your husband's directness.

“You haven’t tried to have sex with me once since the baby was born. It’s weird and very unlike you. Including the difficult end of my pregnancy, it’s been over five months now. When have you ever gone five months without anything sexual since knowing you?” 

He just stares at you, jaw clenching as his mouth forms a tight line.

“I mean, I get it, I look so different now compared to before, and I realize I haven’t exactly been keeping up with my appearance. I understand if it’s not what you prefer for a woman, you’re such an attractive man and you deserve better and-”

He’s on top of you so fast that you feel his weight on you before you even see him move. Fucking sorcerer speed of his.

“You think I’m not attracted to you? Think I haven’t been wanting to fuck your brains out this whole time?” he growls, barely moving his lips as he speaks through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry! You look mad now,” you squeak in surprise before he cuts you off again.

“Yeah, not at you though. Fuck, never you,” his voice softens, brushing the back of his hand against your cheek with utmost tenderness.

“At myself,” he mutters, lowering his gaze for a brief moment before looking at you again.

Your throat feels dry as you swallow hard. You didn’t expect this to be his reaction.

“You’re mad at…yourself?” 

Sukuna lets out a heavy sigh, pink locks falling onto his forehead as he hangs his head.

“Yeah. I am. Mad that I didn’t realize you were feeling this way. Disappointed in myself for letting it get to this point,” his voice cracks as he looks at you with a shimmer in his eyes.

“I’ve never found anyone more attractive in my life than you are to me right now. Watching you fight so hard to carry and give birth to our daughter made me want you more than I thought possible. But now? Seeing you care for her, feed her with your own body, and the way you support and encourage me? It only amplifies every damn day. 

“Fuck, I feel guilty with how turned on I get seeing you be a mom every fucking day,” he drags his fingers through his hair, revealing his flushed skin, likely embarrassed at such a heartfelt confession coming out of his mouth.

You feel tears start to prick at the corners of your eyes so you throw your arms around him and bury your face in his neck to try and delay the inevitable waterworks that are threatening to start.

“Then why don’t you ever do anything,” you force out.

His arms wrap around your back, rolling you both over so now you are sprawled out across his chest, causing you to squeal in surprise.

“I-I didn’t want to bother you or put pressure on you. I know the birth wasn’t easy and you had to heal. And the strain you’re under literally using your body to feed her. I’m scared, I don’t want to hurt you. Thought you’d come to me when you were ready,” he holds you tighter as he rambles on, moving one hand to catch the tears that are now cascading down your cheek.

“Your body has never been more perfect to me. How could I ever find disgust in the evidence of you bringing our child into the world? It’s fucking hot baby is what it is, you successfully carrying my child. Knowing your body is what’s nourishing her and helping her grow? I didn’t do any of that, I’m in fucking awe of you every damn day,” he peppers your face with kisses between each word.

Your chest feels like it's swelled to twice its size as the weight of his words settle in.

“I-I had no idea, and now I feel so stupid,” you look up at him through blurry vision.

Sukuna just smirks, a deep blush dusting his cheeks.

“Join the fucking club baby, I feel like a massive idiot right now too,” his voice deepens as he squeezes your ass. 

“I mean I’ll fucking ruin you right now if you want,” he groans into your neck as he presses himself against you, making you gasp at the feeling of him hard against your groin.

The moment is quickly interrupted though as a wail breaks out over the monitor. 

You both tense up, but then start to laugh, shaking your heads with a smile.

“Your daughter seems to feel otherwise,” you giggle, planting a soft kiss on his lips before rolling off to his side.

“Little cockblocking brat,” Sukuna snickers, sitting up to reveal the damn tent in his boxers.

“I’ll go, you seem…predisposed,” you gesture at his lower half, not missing how he rolls his eyes.

“It’s not going anywhere anytime soon, it’ll be here when you get back,” he drags his hands across his face before falling back into his pillow again.

You lean down to give him a deep kiss before finally pulling away.

“I love you,” you cup his cheek as you stare down at him.

“I love you too, don’t ever question it,” he answers, never taking his eyes off of you as he watches you go.

I have no desire for kids currently but for some reason him being a dad makes me question everything. Thank you for reading!!

[m4nonz]

we needdd g!p megan crumbs

summary. you’ve been a patient girlfriend with your inexperienced mei, but she needs to learn how to make you cum.

contains. sub! g!p!megan being kind of a loser, dom!reader, mentions of loss of virginity, overstimulation, dubcon i guess? i will add it just to be safe. hope you like it! <3

megan was a virgin when you met her, she had never been with anyone, nothing more than a few kisses and curious hands, no one ever made her feel as good as you did. the first time she fucked you was like a vivid dream, she remembers you on top of her, so pretty, grinding on her hard, clothed cock. and then she remembers changing positions, grabbing a condom - that you had to open yourself because she was partially trembling, then you sliding it around her length looking into her eyes. and then she remembers entering you. fucking heaven.

it was everything she dreamed of when she touched herself, so tight and warm and wet, swallowing her whole like it was made just for her… since then, she became so needy for you. you never denied your girlfriend, not even when she couldn’t make you cum because lets be real - she cums quite fast and is not experienced at all. she have no idea how to really make it, i mean, she knows what is a clit and she plays with it because she loves making you squirm, but it’s only before she gets too excited and end up cumming her brains out, pulling it out and then laying down beside you on the bed, asking you if it was good. in the first times, you smiled and kissed her cheeks, murmured softly that it was amazing and let her fall asleep seconds later. you didn’t want to shake her confidence, c’mon.

but now, you were together for a month, an entire month… and your half truths - because it was good, in fact, it was amazing - made megan believe that she had made you reach your peak. it made her too confident, confident enough to not care about it anymore, thinking it was simple. and it had to stop.

so, one particular afternoon while you both were making out in her dorm, you decided things would be a little different from now on. but she would have an event to be in an hour, so you didn’t had much time. her hands, once so unsure and weak, now took off your shorts with practiced ease, she didn’t mind pulling up your shirt over your head, you didn’t had time for this. her cock was throbbing inside her jeans as she kissed you deeply, having you on her lap, already naked, your clever little hands moving to unzip her jeans.

“you gonna ride me real good, yeah?” megan whispered with a smirk as you put her jeans down just enough to free her cock, hard as a rock, her pretty pink tip engorged and leaking precum. she had gained some confidence to talk dirty too.

you licked your hand and wrapped it around her shaft, coating in your saliva, brushing your thumb against the slit, megan panted softly as you lifted your hips just enough to rub her tip against your entrance. a week ago, you both would be using a condom, but now you were on birth control, and she could come inside you as much as she wanted - or could, she was still getting used to the feeling of your tight walls clenching around her bare skin. it felt so good that had her cumming even faster than usual.

you finally sank down on it, slowly, her dick being engulfed by your heat, megan threw her head back on the back of the couch, instantly gripping your asscheeks and pressing you down slightly. you started to ride it even before getting completely used to her shaft, both hands on her shoulders as your hips moved up and down, back and forth, slowly at first before gaining rhythm, megan was going crazy, kissing your lips, moaning and groaning against your mouth, her hands leaving fingerprints on your plump ass. you clenched around her, she moaned a little louder, so you did again.

“baby- fuck, if you keep squeezing me like that i-i’ll come so fucking fast.” she whispered between her teeth. but you didn’t stop, you kept moving, squeezing her, scratching the back of her neck, the sound of skin slapping against each other as you went even faster, a few moments passed and you felt she reaching your special spot, you were about to lower a hand down to rub your clit when she pulsed inside you. “fuck- fuck- i-i’m coming- fuck- so good…” a few disconnected words as she emptied herself inside you in minutes, her balls churning slightly as she painted your walls white. when it stopped, you looked down at her face.

“already? really?” you said. she shrugged a little embarrassed, her breath still heavy and quick, her face flushed and hot.

“my bad… i will make it up to you when i come home, okay?” she said sweetly before kissing your lips, it was a goodbye kiss until you deepened it, holding her face against yours as you started to move your hips back and forth again, you could feel her cum leaking out of you, her softened cock going semi hard in a few seconds.

“baby- what- i can’t-” she tried to say but you put a hand over her mouth.

“you will make it up to me now, i need to cum, mei.” you say softly, but demanding, feeling her cock already hard enough for you to start riding again… and that you did, going back to the previous pace, moving your hips with purpose, feeling her reaching the spot inside you again, you brought a hand down to rub your clit while the other was still on her shoulder. and that’s when she whimpered.

“i’m too sensitive, i’m too sensitive, baby- too much…” megan moaned, but her hands went back to your ass.

“oh, yeah? that’s too bad, my love…” you said mockingly, unapologetically, riding her even faster as you feel your orgasm closer and closer.

it was a mix for megan, at the same time it felt too damn good, it felt too much, like her cock could explode, her hips buckling up unconsciously as her body twitched, she could feel you clenching on her again and she didn’t know if she had any cum left in her balls but damn she would find out. but to her surprise, what really brought her to the climax wasn’t the delicious way your perfect pussy was gripping and squeezing her. it was the view. the view of you arching your back, moaning her name, leaving red blossom marks on her shoulder with your nails as your legs trembled and your sweet juices covered her already drenched cock. she followed you right after, filling you once more to the brim.

“you… you’ve never done that…” she said, amazed after she felt like she could talk, she heard you chuckle weakly as you let yourself relax above her, your face in her neck. “you made me cum.” you whispered, she blinked a few times, making a mental note to cancel her plans in a few minutes - when she would be able to stand again and grab her phone.

“i wanna do it again.”

[stateofmarauders]

ALL TOO WELL

remus lupin x fem!muggle!reader

summary: because of his lycantrophy, remus tried to keep you away until he gives up and runs back into your arms. because of that, you broke up and got back together so many times you can’t count. you don’t know if you’re going to be together forever but you knew one thing for sure. you were going to remember it all too well.

warnings; reader is 20 and remus is 21-22 (so is lily, sirius, etc). reader is lily’s cousin (so random but who cares), implied sex, angst, remus’s self hatred and not feeling enough, ik that september isn’t a cold month but let’s pretend ok??

w/c; 7.8k

a/n: catch all the taylor references challenge

September 6th 1982. - Scarf

“They will love you,” Remus comforted you, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry, it’ll all be alright.”

You caught your lower lip in between your lips, his words did little to calm your nerves. Of course, he had to say it’ll be okay. If he said his parents would hate you, you wouldn’t come in the first place.

He sighed when you didn’t respond and turned his whole body to you, his hands immediately travelling to hold your face.

“Just be yourself, okay?” he asked gently. “Seriously, the chances that you fuck it up are zero.”

You managed to nod, even if you didn’t believe him entirely. The chances that you were going to screw up were fifty-fifty. Never zero.

You watched him knock on the door and you formed your hands into fists, causing your nails to dig into your palms. The doors opened five seconds later, revealing a kind-looking woman in her mid or late fourties. She immediately smiled at Remus and pulled him into a tight hug, even kissing his cheek.

You had to smile at the interaction, heart warming. Remus told you how much he loved his mum and now you finally got to meet the woman he spoke so highly of. It made you even more nervous.

After they pulled away, her eyes immediately found you. And before you could even say hello, her arms were wrapped around your neck. It took you three whole seconds to hug her, taken aback by the sudden affection.

“Mum,” Remus spoke behind her, smile tugging at his lips, “let her breathe.”

She eventually pulled away from you, but you didn’t mind her embrace at all. She took your appearence in and then said, “I can’t believe Remus was hiding a pretty girl like you from us for so long. I’m Hope, by the way.”

You turned red at her words, giving her a nervous laugh before shaking her hand. Hope then hushed you both inside. Remus reached intertwined his fingers with yours as you walked through the door.

Something about it felt like home somehow. You removed your red scarf from around your neck and hung it over the banister. You didn’t know why, you just did.

Remus helped to take off your coat, hanging it by the door right next to his before leading you from the hallway into the dining room with his hand on your lower back.

There was an older man sitting at the table, reading the newspaper with furrowed eyebrows. Upon hearing the noise of you two, he looked up with a smile. He stood up and immediately went to introduce himself to you.

“I’m Lyall. Nice to meet you.” The resemblance between him and Remus was unmistakeable.

“I’m Y/N,” you smiled politely. “Thank you for having me.”

“Well, someone has to make sure my son’s treating you well,” Lyall jokes, his eyes glistening. You hear Remus groan but ignore him as Lyall leads you to sit down.

Your boyfriend takes a seat next to you and moments later, Hope approaches the table with a big pot of whatever she cooked.

The dinner seemed to be going flawlessly. Hope and Lyall asked you all about the muggle word since they were Halfbloods and didn’t know it that well. Remus had his left hand on your lower thigh almost the entire time, drawing circles whenever he felt you were getting nervous again. He had this weird sixth sense to feel it. Had to be something magical, you were sure.

After everyone finished eating, you helped Hope to clean up despite the fact that she said she was forbidding you to do so.

When all the dishes were clean, Hope got the brilliant idea to show you pictures of Remus from when he was a kid and soon, you found yourself leaning against the kitchen counter with the photo album opened right in front of you. You were laughing at the photograph of Remus in a twin-sized bed with ridiculously big glasses – that belonged to Lyall – on his face.

When your boyfriend came strolling into the kitchen to check on you, he froze.

You smirked when you noticed him and reached for his hand to pull him closer.

“You were so adorable,” you told him and gave his cheek a peck. You watched his cheeks turning red at both the emberassment of the photo album and your affection. You turned your attention back to Hope.

“Oh, and this,” Hope cooed and pointed to a picture of a young Remus reading a book on the sofa in the living room. “He was in a book club when he was in primary school. I think he’s about nine here.”

You gave Remus a look that said, “you were so cute, I could literally eat you”.

The poor young man looked like he wanted to dig himself a hole and die there, but he couldn’t help the smile forming on his lips. His two favorite women getting along so well. That was exactly all he wanted.

You let him drag you away despite your protests. You bid Hope and Lyal goodnight in case you didn’t see them until the morning and then walked up the stars, following Remus with your hand in his.

“It looks exactly like you,” you said when you stepped into his old room. The walls were painted beige with posters of his favorite artists splattered arcoss. His bed was neatly made, probably because he hasn’t slept there for a year. There was a bookshelf filled with books and you were surprised to find toy dragons standing on all of the shelves. You turned to him, eyebrow raised in amusement.

“I used to be obsessed with dragons,” he admitted sheepeshly. “Couldn’t throw them away, even when I became an adult.”

You stepped closer and wrapped your arms around his neck, grinning from ear to ear.

Remus chuckled, eyes darting to your lips and back to your eyes. You took the hint and pushes his head forward, your mouths connecting. His hands moved from his sides to your hips and then lower back, pulling you closer, your bodies now flushed against the other.

The kiss turned heated rather quickly even though his parents were downstairs and could walk on you two any second. However, those thoughts disappeared when Remus’s lips brushed right under your jawline, making you whimper. You pulled at his hair as he began to suck, surely leaving a mark but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when it felt so good.

You didn’t even realize you were walking backwards until the back of your knees hit the edge of his bed. He lied you down carefully before taking a moment to admire you. Your hair was already slightly messy, your lipstick smudged and your eyes wide with anticipation. He got on top of you, connecting your lips once again.

As his hands travelled from your face to your sides and then under your blouse, reality hit you.

You were going to have your first time ever. With him. In his parents’s house.

You felt light panic wash over you and Remus, because he sensed it, immediately pulled away.

“Are you okay?” He asked breathlessly.

You managed to nod.

His eyes studied you. “We…don’t have to do this. It’s okay, if you don’t want to.”

You quickly shook your head. Not doing it was the last thing you wanted.

“I want to,” you answered, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just…I’ve never done….it.”

He looked almost suprised. “You’ve never had sex?”

Your face twisted, suddenly feeling embarrassed because of how he said the word sex so casually. It was casual for most people, you knew that. But not for you.

You were twenty. All your friends had already done it, and your cousin was even married and had a child. You felt certain pressure to do it since you turned sixteen but you never felt safe enough with anyone to go further than just snog. Not until now.

“No.” You exhaled. “I’ve never had sex. But I want to with you,” you quickly added.

“Alright,” Remus nodded, his eyes still on you, searching for any kind of hesitation or discomfort. When he didn’t find any, he said, “It will most likely hurt.”

“I know,” you replied. You’ve heard enough stories from your friends to know what first time feels like.

“You’ll tell me when you want to stop?”

“I will,” you reassured. And with that, you grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him in.

You left more than your red scarf at his parents’s house.

September 13th 1982 - A masterpiece

You had your suspicion for a while. Since you’ve first met him, actually, which was when you were dropping off Lily at the platform and 9 3/4. Your cousin introduced you two and you couldn’t help your eyes to curiously stare at his scars on his face, neck, and even hands. He must have known at what you were looking, and so you shook his hand and smiled brightly.

You wondered about what could have happened to him to leave him so scarred. Some looked even fresher than the others and so, the realization hit you as you remembered full moon was just a few days before that. And you’ve heard enough from Lily about werewolves to know what that meant.

However, your suspicions were confirmed after you got to know him more. You tracked the full moons in the calendar by your bed and watched as his behaviour changed just the week before his transformations. How he became quieter, face twisting in pain more often, his irritation growing because of the littlest things, how he made excuses of why not to spend time together. You couldn’t blame him at all. You didn’t know what he was going through but you could imagine how painful and scary it must be to turn into an animal and lose control over yourself for a whole night.

You walked on tiptoes around him if you happened to be together days before the full moon. You became quieter too, you didn’t talk about your day, of what happened when you were looking over little Harry, or that your favourite book was getting a film adaption. You talked only when neccessary and barely touched him at all.

You waited for him to tell you on your own but three months later, you lost hope that he was going to ever tell you at all.

Until one day, when you were in his bed in the flat he shared with Sirius. It was close to midnight after the whole afternoon spent watching him as he fought not to let his pain show. You so badly wanted to hold him, to tell him you knew and that you were there for him, willing to do anything to help him. But you didn’t and kept your hands to yourself.

He barely looked at you, his gaze glued to the space between you and him.

At one point, you let out a shaky breath, and that’s when he said it.

“You know, don’t you?”

It wasn’t a question. He knew you knew and there was no point in pretending you had no idea what he was talking about or to deny it.

You simply nodded, even though you didn’t know if he could even see it through the darkness.

“I do,” you whispered, feeling suddenly relieved.

“Why are you even here, then?”

That questioned caught you off guard. Cause I love you, you almost said before you stopped yourself, feeling like it was too early to say it out loud.

“Cause I want to be,” you answered simply as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. And to you, it was.

“I’m not exactly an entertaining company during this time,” he laughed bitterly.

You shrugged. “I’m not here for entertainment. I’m here for you,” you paused, rethinking your words before saying, “I can go if you don’t want me here.”

Silence followed and you thought he was about to tell you to go home.

You felt his fingers brushing against yours. You thought it was an accident but then he intertwined them and you were sure it wasn’t.

“I always want you here.”

You squeezed his hand, sensing that there was nothing else needed to be said. You sat up a bit and placed a gentle kiss on Remus’s forehead, hearing a sigh escape his lips.

“Goodnight, Remus.”

“Will you stay?” He asked, voice shaky.

And of course, you did.

October 10th 1982 - First Crack in the Glass

The full moon the very next month was worse.

You called to his flat that day, just to ask Remus if he was okay, if he wanted anything from the store you were going to before visiting him.

“Hello, sweetheart.” Came from the other line and you recognized it to be Sirius. You didn’t know how he knew it was you but you decided not to ask anything.

“Hi, Sirius,” you greeted, feeling anxiety creeping into your bones for no particular reason.

“Listen, uh,” he paused and that’s when you knew something was wrong. Sirius sounded serious and he rarely did. “I don’t think Remus is in a good mood for any visitors. I’m myself just on the way out.”

You closed your eyes and sighed, gaze dropping into your lap. You knew what Sirius was saying. Remus didn’t want to see you.

“Oh,” was all you managed to say.

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed. “Oh.”

When you said nothing else, he continued. “Don’t take it personally, sweetheart, alright? I confirm that he still very much likes you. He’s just not himself.”

You nodded, even though you knew he couldn’t see it. “Okay. Thank you, Sirius. Have a nice day.”

“You too, Y/N.”

The line went off and another sigh left your lips. You thought about what Sirius said. He himself wanted to get out of the flat and you wondered how bad the atmosphere must have been. You knew you shouldn’t go. You told yourself you shouldn’t. There were millions of other things you could be doing instead of disrupting Remus. But, unfortunately, before you knew it, you were unlocking the door of his flat.

The evidence of the toll this full moon took on him were everywhere.

Unfinished breakfast, although it looked more like Remus didn’t even take a bite. There was a cup with coffee filled to the half and too many cigarettes in the ashtray. On the floor lied a broken plate. The whole place smelled like something bad was about to happen soon. You quietly took off your coat and shoes and put your bag down on the kitchen floor. You carefully moved over to the broken plate and began to pick up the pieces. Remus would’ve gone mad if he saw you picking it up with your bare fingers, scolding you that you were going to cut yourself.

And you did.

You hissed as you felt the sharp edge slit your skin of your palm. You glanced down at it to see a red line forming and you cursed quietly under your breath, abandoning the pieces and moved over to the sink to wash your hand. Sighing happily as the cold water hit your wound, you didn’t hear Remus making its way to the kitchen at the smell of your blood.

“What are you doing here?”

You almost jumped at the sound of his voice and turned around to see your boyfriend standing in the door way, with a bandage in his hand. He looked so incredibly tired and weak, with his shoulders down and a look in your eyes that looked far from the boy you knew.

“I…..” you couldnt finish your sentence as you watched him slowly making his way over to you. He grabbed the scissors from the kitchen table and cut the bandage. He handed out his hand, asking for yours without asking out loud. You obeyed, silently watching as he began bandaging.

“You should’ve been more careful,” he scolded without looking at you. “You should’ve just left the plate where it was. You shouldn’t be cleaning up my mess.”

You had a feeling this wasn’t about just cleaning up his flat anymore.

“I just wanted to help,” you tried to reason and his hands sped up, but you could see he was struggling. “Remus, I love you—“

He dropped your hand. “Then don’t!” He lashed out, his voice far harsher than he intended, but you heard it break.

You froze.

“Seriously, Y/N. I have never asked you for anything. Not for cleaning my flat just because you think I can’t do it myself–“

“I don’t think that,” you cut in desperately.

He ignored your words. “And I have certainly never asked you for sticking around nor have I ever asked for your love!”

You glanced down on your feet and gripped your injured hand. Not because it hurt – you were sure your heart was in a whole lot worse condition – but because you needed something to hold onto.

Was Remus breaking up with you? Was that what it was about?

“I’m sorry,” you managed to mumble. “I- I’ll go.”

You walked past him, unable to look him in the eye and he seemed to be struggling too. You grabbed your things, got dressed and walked out without another word, trying to ignore how your heart ached.

You ended up at James and Lily’s house with the excuse that you just wanted to see Harry. Which was not completely false, you loved him to death and always wanted to see him.

However, as you stepped into the living room, your eyes landed on Sirius who was sitting on the floor and playing with your – and his – godson.

His eyes lit up when he saw you, and Harry was too busy playing with cars to notice you. However, he frowned in confussion as if he sensed something was wrong.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he said unsurely, eyes flicking to Lily and James who just shrugged. Suddenly, his eyes widened a bit before asking, “You’ve been to see Remus, haven’t you?”

There were a few “ah”’s coming from your cousin and her husband and you sighed in defeat.

“You and your dog senses,” you said before sitting down on the floor next to Harry who was already making grabby hands at you. You chuckled and pulled him into your lap, giving him a kiss on the top of his head and that’s when they all saw it. The bandage on your hand.

“Oh God,” Lily gasped, her hand over her mouth. “Did he….?”

Your eyes went wide at what she was implying. “No!” You shook your head quickly. “That was all me, he was the one bandaging it.”

James raised an eyebrow. He’s been uncharacteristically quiet the whole time. “So… what happened?”

You remained quiet. Harry was giving you a grin, looking up at you with curious eyes.

“Went to his flat. There was, uh, a broken plate on the floor. I wanted to clean it up and cut myself. Remus appeared like thirty seconds later with a bandage. Then he started about how I should’ve been more careful and that he never asked me for any of this and that he certainly never asked me for my love.”

“Jesus Christ….” Lily mumbled.

And that’s when it hit you. The reality of his words.

“I think he was breaking up with me,” you admitted. Your voice broke on the last word and tears began streaming down your face. Before you knew it, Sirius took Harry out of your hold to give you some space, which was the last thing you wanted but you didn’t protest. Lily crouched down next to you and began caressing your back.

“I’m sure he wasn’t,” James said, giving you a sad smile. “Moony wouldn’t do that.”

Sirius tsked and you turned your head to face him.

“Moony would do that,” he corrected. You opened your mouth to argue, but then you realized you didn’t know him long like Sirius did. That made your heart ache even more.

“Sirius!” Lily scolded.

The said boy put his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry, Lils, but there’s no point at lying to the poor girl. Remus is the type of person to push everyone away, especially the closest people. He can be so casually cruel in the name of being honest.”

You felt a lump in your throat and no matter how much you tried swallowed it, it never went away.

You eventually nodded, slowly, accepting your fate.

“He broke up with me.”

Lily sighed from her spot beside you. “You can’t know that for hundred precent.”

“Yeah,” James agreed. “Remus always says things he doesn’t mean when it’s close to the full moon. I say call him or meet up with him after.”

You shook your head. “I’m not going to call first—“

Then, the phone rang, cutting you off. James went over to answer it. You couldn’t hear the voice on the other line to figure out who it was, only James’s quiet responses.

“Yeah, uh, she’s here,” he said. “I’m not sure she wants to talk to you, mate–“

You were already in your feet, making your way to the phone. “Is that Remus?”

James nodded unsurely. He wanted to say you didn’t have to talk to him if you didn’t want to, but you were already reaching for the phone before he could say anything.

You heard him breathing, and then holding it just before you spoke.

“Rem?” You asked softly.

“Y/N,” he breathed out as if hearing your voice was the best thing ever. And for him, it was. “I’m sorry. Godric, I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you mumbled, leaning against the wall.

“No, it’s not,” Remus argued, his voice gentle yet firm. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

“It’s alright, Rem, really,” you said honestly. You could see Lily, James, Sirius, and even Harry watching you. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Sirius told me not to come and I should’ve listened. It’s my fault.”

“No.” You imagined him shaking his head. ���You were just being your kind self. You wanted to help. And I was awful to you. You should yell at me.”

You let out a chuckle. “I’m not going to yell at you, love.”

“I know,” he said and paused. The silence was somewhat comfortable cause you now knew he wasn’t breaking up with you. “I love you.”

And there, he said it. And you swore you could hear your heart quite literally leaping out of your chest. You hid your face in your free hand to cover your smile as you felt your cheeks heat up.

“I love you.”

You heard Remus let out a sigh of relief. You were still together, now stronger than ever.

Everything was going to be okay.

Or….so you thought.

October 20th 1982 - Wind in My Hair, I Was There

The leaves finally turned autumn colours.

You dragged Remus out of his flat despite his protests about wanting to curl up on the sofa with a good book. You promised him you’ll do it with him later that day and eventually, with a sigh, he agreed.

And so there you were, walking hand in hand through the colourful forest towards a lake. It had been fun so far, even for Remus. He let you talk his ear off about anything that came into your mind. It would be annoying for many, but not for your boyfriend. He loved your voice and how excited you got about things you liked. Sometimes you were so lost in what you were saying he had to lead you so you wouldn’t step into a puddle.

“And Sara got this beautiful cat and—“ you abruptly stopped yourself.

Remus raised his eyebrow, confusion written all of his face. “And what, dove?”

You scrunched up your nose and looked down at the ground. “I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

He brought your hand to his lips and kissed your knuckles. “Nonsense.”

You slowed your walking when you felt him to do so and smiled up at him. When you two stopped in your tracks entirely, he framed your face with his scarred hands and placed a gentle kiss on your mouth. He didn’t pull away entirely, you could feel his breath on your face.

You wrapped your arms around his waist and stood up on your tiptoes to kiss him once again. He hummed happily into your mouth, his thumb brushing over your jawline.

“You’re too nice to me,” you said when you continued your way to the lake. “If you want me to shut up, you have to tell me.”

He pouted teasingly. “But I want to hear our voice.”

And, God, you folded.

Despite the cold weather, the sun found its way to cast its light through the tree branches onto the water, creating a sparkling effect. The wind was messing up your hair the whole time, but you gave up on trying to fix it.

You and Remus sat into the grass next to the lake. There were only a few people, mostly passing by without really interrupting you two. You kissed some more, until your lips turned blue, clinging onto the heat radiating from him. He was so warm.

“Swear to remember this all too well,” you pleaded, with your head on his shoulder.

You felt him kiss the top of your head.

“I promise.”

October 27th 1982 - Breaking Point

You let yourself in Remus’s flat. You were so excited to show him the halloween costume you got for James and Lily’s party. It was a witch, ironically. But a bit more…revealing, you’d say.

You definitely hoped the afternoon would end up a different way than it did.

You hanged your coat by the door and kicked off your shoes. You felt as if you knew something was going to happen but told your anxious brain it was paranoid. It worked, for a while.

Sirius was in the kitchen, cigarette hanging from his lips as he read the newspapers, shaking his head and muttering something under his breath. He looked up at the sound of your footsteps and grinned.

“Hello, doll,” he greeted you. You learned not to take the nicknames anything more than casually. It was simply in Sirius’s nature.

“Hi, Sirius,” you greeted back and looked around the kitchen and the living room. “Is Remus here?”

“Bedroom,” Sirius responded and before he could say anything else, you were on your way over there.

You knocked on the door softly, exactly three times and waited patienly for Remus to answer. After hearing the faint sound of “come in”, you excitedly entered.

Except, your excitement wore off when you saw Remus sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

You dropped your bags and immediately approached. You sat down in front of him, your hand brushing over his shoulder.

You spoke in panicked voice. “What happened, love? Are you hurting?”

He shook his head, his voice still covered. Then, he finally looked at you. There was this kind of sadness in his eyes. He hadn’t been crying, at least not in the past thirty minutes, you could tell that. But that didn’t make you feel any more better.

“What happened?” You repeated, more urgently this time.

He opened his mouth but no words came out. You furrowed your eyebrows worryingly.

And then–

“I don’t think this will work out.”

Seven words.

Enough to make your whole world fall apart.

Your eyes widened in cofussion, hand drawing from his shoulder back to your side.

“What?”

He sighed, as if it pained him to say it again.

“I don’t think this will work out, Y/N.”

It made your heart ache in ways you never experienced before. You were completely frozen by his words. You thought you two talked everything out. He literally just met your parents a week ago! Charming your dad with self-effacing jokes, sipping his coffee like he was on a late night show. He gave your mother flowers and complimented her cooking. He made love to you later that night in the exact bed you were just sitting next to and now he was breaking up with you?

“Why?” You managed to croak out. When he didn’t answer, you asked again. “Why, Remus?” This one came out harsher than intended and he winced.

“You have to think of your future.” Was his answer. The thing, he said you were his future and you believed him.

Stupid girl.

You stood up and threw hands in the air. “I do think about my future, and you are in it!”

Remus sighed again, as if he didn’t want to continue this conversation.

“You have to think a bit more beyond that,” he couldn’t even look at you, keeping his gaze on the linoleum floor. “I’ve got a badly-paid job because of what I am. I can’t give you the life you want.”

A sob left your lips before you could stop it. “I don’t care about my life as long as you’re in it,” you said weekly. Remus hated that he made you like this, but he was convinced that you were better off without him.

“You’re saying that now.” His eyes finally met yours. “But what about when we’re going to be in debts because of all the bills we couldn’t pay?”

You knew he had a point, but you wouldn’t let him know that. “Then we’re going to be in it together!”

“Love can’t safe us from that, dove.”

Your shoulders dropped in defeat, silently begging him to change his mind. Unfortunately, you knew that there was nothing else you could do to prevent him from leaving.

“So, that’s it?”

He nodded, slowly. His eyes drifted back to the floor. “Yes. That’s it.”

You let out another sob. You were torn between wanting to hug him, hold onto him for dear life and never wanting to see him again. You chose for the second option and turned around, grabbed your bags, and left his bedroom.

Sirius was still in the kitchen, smoking probably another cigarette. You wanted to sneak past him without him noticing you but that was impossible.

“Y/N?” He asked at the sight of your teary face. You shook your head, signalizing ou couldn’t and didn’t want to talk to him about it. He only nodded and kissed your cheek, squeezing your arm. You thanked him in a whisper and then left the apartment.

You broke down outside the building.

November 4th 1982 - You Call Me Up Again

One week.

Seven days.

168 hours.

10 080 minutes.

604 800 seconds.

Some really painful seconds without him.

You never knew how devestating it can be to get your heart broken. You’ve seen movies and read books about it, sure. But experiencing was something completely different.

You felt this presistent ache in your chest from the moment you woke up to the very second you drifted to your dreamland. And even then, the pain wouldn’t give you rest.

You dreamed of him.

The dreams didn’t really make sense most of the time, but he was there. Always.

Waiting. Watching. Smiling.

And when you opened your eyes, the reality hit you like a train.

You haven’t spoken to him in seven whole days. You have been barely speaking to anyone at all.

Lily called about twenty of times, just to ask you how you are. She even put Harry on the phone, but the boy could only speak gibberish and you pretended like you could understand him. It cheered you up, though. Harry always did.

Sirius called every other day and stopped by when you told him to so you could give him his birthday present. He didn’t make you feel guilty for missing his party. Not after seeing how heartbroken you looked that day.

Everyone called. Everyone stopped by. Just not Remus.

You spend your days in bed, crying until your eyes hurt and you felt sick. You’d look at the pictures of you and him or the pictures of him that you took while the songs he loved played in the backround.

No wonder you were miserable.

And you yearned for Remus in ways that made you feel crazy.

You knew you’d forgive him in a heart beat if he reached out and you hated yourself for that a tiny bit. But, at the same time, it’s not like he did something unforgivable. You thought about it hard enough to understand why he did what he did and you even wondered about what would you do if the roles were reversed. You came to the conclusion that you would do the exact same thing.

But the thing was, you couldn’t forgive him until he asked for forgivness.

And he didn’t. For seven days.

And then, the call came. Completely out of the blue.

You were curled up in your bed, staring into nowhere when the phone rang in the living room. Faintly, but you could hear it anyway.

You were about ninety-nine percent sure it was going to be Lily. The other one percent went for Sirius.

You sighed, getting into the act of being totally fine before picking it up.

“Hello?” You said, anticipating your cousin’s voice on the other line.

You never expected it to be him.

But then you heard it, the shaky breath and your name.

You closed your eyes and leaned against the wall. “Remus.”

Silence prevailed. You couldn’t even hear his breath, suspecting he was holding it.

You held the phone as if it was him, gently but firmly at the same time.

“I miss you,” he eventually croaked out. “I miss you really badly.”

And, God, how badly you wanted to hear him saying that. You imagined it multiple times, but this was better than your brain could ever form.

“I miss you really badly, too,” you admitted quietly. You started wondering what it meant. Did he just call you to say he missed you just to leave you stranded and confused? Did he think it was a romantic thing to do?

“Mum found out about what I did to you,” Remus said after a while. “From Sirius, of course. She gave me hell for it. I was convinced to call you and talk.”

You mentally thanked Hope Lupin for being the most amazing woman in the whole world.

“Well, did you want to talk to me, at all?” You asked, biting the inside of your cheek.

“Course,” he said honestly. “I always want to talk to you, even if I pretend I don’t.”

You let out a quiet chuckle and smiled for the first time in days. You heard Remus let out a sigh of relief at the sound.

“Would you….” He paused. “Would you like to meet up? Maybe at the café you wanted to go to?”

“Yes,” you spoke faster than you meant to. “I’d like that.”

November 10th 1982 - Down the Stairs, I Was There

A week later, you couldn’t be happier.

You and Remus were back together and everyone was delighted to hear the news. You started socializing again and didn’t cry when you heard David Bowie anymore.

Just like now.

You were back at his parents’ house. Lyall and Hope were out of town and asked Remus to take care of it while they were gone. You ended up hanging out with him there, without anyone interrupting you two.

There, downstairs in the kitchen, you and Remus decided for brownies at midnight. Your boyfriend was the one making the batter while you were seated on the kitchen counter and tasting it, despite the multiple times Remus playfully smacked your hand away before kissing you on the cheek. Each single time.

You watched him, not really his work, rather how beautifully he looked in the refrigerator light. Hair all messy from previous activity – you know what I mean, smile plastered on his face the entire time, eyes glistening.

You didn’t want to look at anything else ever again.

His records were playing softly in the backround. You recognized all of the songs. He played Bowie often enough for you to memorize them word by word. Your favourite was definitely Heroes and so when it started playing, you jumped off the counter and dramatically asked Remus to dance.

And who was he to say no to that?

He gladly took your hand and you lead him in the middle of the kitchen to move the dining table and chairs so you had enough space to dance.

Like you two stood a chance.

He placed one of his hands on your waist and you put one of yours on his shoulder. The dance was messy and uncoordinated but none of you cared enough. You were both laughing the whole time, even when Remus accidentally stepped on your feet.

By the end if the song, you had your head leaning against his chest, moving slowly. At one point, you looked at him, smiled and he just couldn’t not lean down and kiss you softly on the lips.

He murmured “I love you” when your finger threaded into his sand brown locks.

There, down the stairs, your sillhouettes luminated by the light from the refrigerator, in your lover’s arms, you felt like exploding.

November 16th 1982 - Just To Break Me Like A Promise

Unfortunately, Remus likes breaking his favourite toys.

What was more unfortunate, was that you were one of them.

It came just as unexpectedly as the first break up. This time, he couldn’t even meet you in person to tell you

You told him he was a coward, he said he knew. You didn’t know what to say after that. You remembered the last time, how you tried to convince him and nothing worked. He broke you like a promise he never really made.

You stayed on the phone with him in silence for a few minutes. The tick of the clock in your kitchen suddenly felt too loud, as if mocking you.

Your time ran out.

Then suddenly, you picked all your courage to ask him. “Will you come to my birthday party?”

That caught him completely off guard.

“What?” He asked, the shock evident in his voice.

“I want you there,” you admitted. Silence followed. “Please, tell me you’ll come.” Silence. “Remus–“

“I’ll be there,” he responded finally. “I promise.”

You didn’t know if he said it just to satisfy you or if he actually wanted to be there but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask, afraid of the answer.

“Thank you,” you mumbled.

The line went dead.

November 23th 1982 - The Moment I Knew

That day of the party, you wore your favourite dark purple party dress and his favourite red lipstick of yours.

Your friends came flooding in.

Lily, James, and Harry came first, carrying one present each. Sirius arrived a few minutes after that, complaining about the traffic before giving the top of your head a kiss and placing his present for you among the others.

Your childhood friends Sara and Lisa bursted through the door with bright smiles on their faces. They embraced you so tightly you could barely breathe.

You patiently waited. For Remus to arrive with Peter.

And then the door opened.

And only one of them made it.

Your smile faltered when you saw only Peter walking through the doorway. At the sight of you, he quickly explained;

“He said he’ll come later. Got caught up at work.”

You trusted Peter he was telling the truth. You didn’t trust Remus that he told his friend the truth.

But you still got hope as you joined all your friends.

However, twenty minutes passed. Then forty-five. Then a whole hour. And you felt the reality sinking in.

You got your eye on the door the entire time, only halfly listening to James and Sirius sharing funny stories from school. You could tell that they were trying really hard to not mention Remus and you were somewhat grateful for that.

The more time passed, the more sadder you’ve become and it became harder to pretend you were alright.

Everyone noticed. Of course, they did. You hardly said anything at all the entire evening, only speaking when spoken to.

And when Lisa asked if you were okay, you couldn’t hold the tears back anymore.

You quickly excused yourself and made your way into the bathroom. You could hear steps behind you and didn’t need to look back to know it was Sirius. Hence why you didn’t close the door to the bathroom, torn between wanting to be alone and speaking about it to someone.

Your back was facing the door when he entered, your face in your hands as you quietly sobbed, the noises muffled by your palms.

“Y/N,” Sirius sighed and wrapped his arms around your shaking figure. You were sure you’d be on the floor if he didn’t come in.

You burried your face in his shoulder, gripping his white shirt.

“He said he’d be here,” you cried out, followed by another broken sob.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Sirius mumbled into your hair. He hold you tightly, as if afraid you were going to fall apart otherwise. And you would.

You stayed like that for about ten minutes, until you calmed down. Your eyes were red, mascara completely ruined and your lipstick was smudged on Sirius’s tshirt. He waved you off when you apalogized and fixed it with a flick of his wand. He then fixed your appearance, too. Minus the red eyes, he wasn’t sure what to do about that.

You hesitated joining your friends again in the living room but you felt guilty about your dissapearence. You stared at the floor for a second, your lip in between your teeth.

“Come on,” Sirius nudged you playfully, making you look up. He was grinning but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s supposed to be fun turning twenty one.”

Two hours later, you were in your flat alone once again. The presents remained wrapped as you weren’t in the mood to open them. You poured yourself a glass of wine and sank into the sofa. Your appearance a devastating contrast to the decorated flat.

You played back your last phone call with Remus. How he promised he’d come.

He should’ve been there.

You were too tired to cry anymore, and you weren’t sure if you had any tears left. You lied down, still with your dress and your heels that you picked out just for him.

His voice played in your ears.

“I’ll be there. I promise.”

Foolish one.

You were awaken by the phone ringing.

Your eyes shot open into the dark and your chest tightened.

It must be him, you thought. It must be.

You slowly got up, praying that he wouldn’t give up and hang up because you were sure you couldn’t call him yourself. Finally your hand reached for the phone and held it close to your ear.

“Y/N?” He questioned, as if he wasn’t sure you’d even pick up. You didn’t know what time it was, but considering the dark outside, it must have been at least eleven.

“Yeah,” you murmured. “It’s me.”

You waited for him to say something.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make it,” he apologized. It sounded sincere but that wasn’t enough to mend your broken heart.

You wanted to yell at him. You wanted to ask him to put your name on the top of his list. How throughout the whole relationship, you asked for one thing and one thing only. To be with you when you wanted him. You wanted him to answer of why he was doing this to you. Why he was keep breaking your heart in a blink of an eye.

But you didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. Not because you didn’t care but because deep down you knew there was nothing to fight for anymore.

Instead, you sighed and said, “I’m sorry, too.”

Then, you hung up.

And that was the moment you knew.

December 14th 1982 - How It Glistened As It Fell

You stared into your coffee.

The café you were in wasn’t busy in the late afternoon, only clinking of dishes and the low sound of people talking could be heard.

You thought it was hilarious. Remus asked to meet you here to talk and yet, he didn’t say a single word except of “hi” and “I’m glad you came”.

It was awkward. The silence. The way you sometimes accidentally bumped your leg against his. The way you caught his stare when he was looking at your face.

You sighed. “What did you want to talk about?”

He glanced down on the table and took a deep breath. “Nothing. I just wanted to see you.”

Oh, God.

You tilted your head and studied his face. “Why did you want to see me, then?”

Silence. And then–

“I miss you.”

You looked out the window and saw a couple walking by, hand in hand, the girl laughing at something the boy said.

“You broke up with me, Remus,” you whispered. “You don’t get to say that.”

He nodded slowly, knowing where you’re coming from. “I know. And I’m sorry.”

You didn’t say it was okay, because it wasn’t. “I just wish you wouldn’t let it get between us like that.” It being lycantrophy. “I’d love you so hard if you just let me. We could make it work. But you gave it up. You gave us up.”

Remus swallowed the lump in his throat. “Maybe if…I wasn’t what I was then… It would’ve been fine.”

And that made you want to die.

You stayed silent, not trusting your voice to break if you spoke. You could feel tears stinging your eyes and you used your sleeve to wipe them.

But the grief was too much.

You looked out of the window again and let the tears fall this time. Seeing the first fall of snow should make you happy. But it didn’t. Nothing mattered.

You looked back at him, only to see his gaze already on you. You needed to say it. “I love you.”

Remus closed his eyes as if the sentence physically pained him to hear it. And with a shaky breath, he said;

“It’ll pass.”

You looked down on your shaky hands as if it could comfort you.

Fifteen minutes later, you said your goodbyes. You didn’t hug each other, afraid that if you did, you wouldn’t be able to let go.

And Remus knew it was for the better.

It was all for you.

You watched him walking away from you, hands in his pockets and head down low.

He didn’t look back, not once.

You looked up and let the first snowflakes fall on your face, admiring how it glistened as it fell.

Time passed. Like it always did.

But you still remembered every little detail of his breathing. Every detail of the colour of his eyes. The sound of his laugh. The was his fingers felt on your face when he kissed you.

You were going to remember how it felt to love him.

You were going to remember it all.

Too well.

[hrtfelt4u]

reverb. | sungchan jung.

018. fuck it all. (written portion)

“Who said another drink?”

Everyone immediately groans, making Maki look around like he wasn’t the one that uttered those words.

“Whoever said drinking like this in college isn’t alcoholism until you graduate, is lying. We’ve got a developing case right here.” Wonbin gestures with his beer bottle.

Maki stands up, arms out in a shrugging manner. “May a guy destruct in peace!”

“Then do it by yourself, brother. You almost took a girl out last time I matched your shots! No thank you.” Soph brings a palm up, making you snicker into her shoulder.

“My bathtub can speak to that.” Wonbin mutters.

Sophia throws a couch pillow at Wonbin’s head. He catches it with one hand, sending a deadpan look to your best friend, and then to you.

“Keep her under control, YN. And Soph! You’re lucky you’re holding a drink right now. Otherwise, I would launch this back.”

“Bite me.” She says with a bright smile.

Immediately, the two are bickering like usual, and Maki rounds the couch to pat your head. “Come with me to the kitchen, those grandparents are lightweights.” 

You swat at the air, head vehemently shaking. “Go gather Nico or Yuma. My last shot with Taro was enough.”

“They’re still playing cup pong though!”

Your head turns to take in your friend’s pout. 

“Fine. But rein in your heavy hand. And Maki, if you make a God awful drink for me again, I’m going to be livid at you.” You sigh, sitting up and following the boy into the kitchen. He cheers, throwing an arm around you.

Spotting Shotaro and Yoonchae, the two are in a deeply heated conversation about giving up sex or sauce with others you recognize from Sungchan’s circle, Anton and Seunghan. You and Maki greet them in passing, scooching beside more partygoers to the rows of lukewarm alcohol. Maki begins his concoction for you both while you look around wearily. 

Seunghan’s place was decently packed now, the dark room with colorful LED lights highlighting a few faces that made your stomach turn. Jake, Jay, Heeseung, all friends of Sunghoon’s and presumably Jungwon’s, who is Seunghan’s roommate. They were kind mutuals of yours at best through Sunghoon, but since splitting with him, you haven’t had contact. 

None offered more like a nod of acknowledgement or a small wave in greeting, especially with the glimpse you saw of Sunghoon around earlier. You were happy with the distance actually; it made it easier to not let your negative thoughts float to the surface tonight. 

Sohee, a rambunctious friend who’s grown on you recently, comes barging in with heavy feet while maneuvering around everyone to join in on the discussion. Giving up sex compared to sauce seems to be a fiery topic, and you’d tune in more on the debate if it weren’t for your eyes drifting to Sungchan in the corner, looking sickingly good.

Earlier when you’d arrived at Sohee’s pregame, your handsome project partner greeted you at the door. There was a small moment where you both deliberated between a dap and a side hug. The side hug happened and a whiff of his black graphic tee soaked in his signature cologne almost made you turn around to go home.

After all, more than you wanted these past two weeks, Sungchan has been on your mind. Now, it was about how attractive he was when he dressed in anything but sweats. It was usually what Sungchan’s active schedule forced him to wear around campus. Nevermind earlier at the pregame as well, when you both drank together and he maintained eye contact.

He’s currently chatting to his friend, Manon. Her smile is out of this world and they seem to be laughing at an inside joke. He introduced you both earlier, same with every one of his friends the second you entered the Sohee’s place. And Manon was gorgeous; you were not blind to that fact. Despite your project partner introducing her as a friend, you wonder if there’s more. There’s a small part of you that wants to ask because you were… curious.

When Sungchan catches your eye for the hundredth time of staring, you swear in your head as you listen back into your friends’ conversation. Sohee's contribution of choosing sex over sauce causes a flurry of disagreements to erupt between everyone. 

You saw Sungchan straighten up before your head swiveled, and now you fearing he’s heading over. Before Maki can begin to make your drink, you smile and excuse yourselves to Yoonchae, Taro, and them, dragging Maki back to the couch.

Soph only gives you a knowing smirk, returning with your project partner trailing behind you and Maki. Internally cursing her in your head, Sungchan’s warm presence approaching causes the hairs on your arms to rise. 

“We gonna keep playing eye tag or you gonna holla at your boy?”

Sungchan practically shouts the joke of a meme in your ear, and you don’t even have to turn around to slap at his nape, bent down to your level. He recoils, groaning before tattling on you.

“What the hell! You just see that, Sophia?”

Your best friend only shrugs, amused. “Did you deserve it?”

You nod wordlessly, finally tilting your head back onto the couch to view Sungchan upside down. “What?”

“You tell me, peanut,” He chuckles. “What’s with the staring? You want to leave?”

He’s speaking quietly enough that only you can hear him. It feels strange for Sungchan to be extra considerate, since most of the time you interact, you bully each other. Around others, he gets more… gentle. You wonder if it’s just because he’s part of the reason you’re here at a party where your ex is present. 

Your pause in answering is enough of a response to him apparently.

“You want to go now? I can walk you home.”

“But Anton is DD. Wait, is our place close to here? Where are we?”

“Princess, how drunk are you? Sohee’s pregame was a two minute drive from here. We’re at my friend Seunghan's place?”

Shaking your head, you sit up and twist so you face Sungchan more. “No I mean, is this an off-campus apartment? How long’s the walk?”

“It’s not bad,” Sungchan purses his lips, knocking his head over to Sophia. “Does anyone else want to leave?” 

You don’t want to ask. It’s only been a minimum of 50 minutes but you’ve always gotten tired of functions quicker than others. It was one thing that you and your friend group never agreed on; staying 45 minutes or a whole two hours… Clearly you were the first option. 

“No. I want to go.” 

“Is someone bothering you?”

“What? No, I just… would rather be anywhere else now. I’ve had enough fun with people I care about. I don’t want to ruin the mood by asking to go home.” 

Sungchan nods. “Good thing you have me then.” 

Before you can say more, the tall man stands up, grabbing your friends’ attention.

“I’m walking YN home, I’ll be back later.” 

Wonbin and Maki only nod and continue their animated conversation about cheese or kissing now, Sophia tilting her head. 

“Heading home already?”

“I’m hungry.” You give a white lie. 

You purposely avoid her all too piercing look while bending down to give her a hug, dapping up everyone else in the room who you knew in goodbye. 

Yoonchae pouts so much, you’re almost convinced to stay. But then Shotaro is giving you the most dirty, “you better not be doing anything stupid” look, and you want to escape before he can badger you about Sungchan taking you home. 

Maki and Wonbin wave you away, and you say goodbye to Anton, Eunseok, and Seunghan. The latter seems extra suspicious while looking between you and his friend, and you wonder what Seunghan even knows to be so obvious about his thoughts.

When you both finally step out of the crowded apartment, you two let out a deep breath at the same time. Simultaneously, you laugh at your synced reactions, beginning your trek down the apartment stairs. 

“It’s actually diabolical that the elevator is broken.” 

Sungchan bursts out in laughter, offering his arm to you when you stumble in your heels. “Hannie said Jungwon’s buddy, Jake, jumped up and down on it.”

You blow out air in exasperation. “That sounds about right.” 

“You knew a few of them tonight, didn’t you?”

Only nodding, you finally accept Sungchan’s assistance in defeat. 

“You saw Sunghoon too, right?”

You giggle a little, only because Sungchan’s tone is so serious; he seemed afraid to upset you. 

“Yeah, I did.”

When you reach the ground floor, you look up to see Sungchan carefully attempting to read your emotions. 

“I just thought seeing him would’ve upset you more.”

“Well, you and Soph were right. I’m bound to run into him so… for how drunk I was a few moments ago… It was fine.” 

You march forward to push the back door open. Sungchan only snorts and follows you out. He redirects you when you head in the wrong direction, entertained at how cutely determined you were to get home. 

“How far do we have to go again?”

“About that… Peanut, if I tell you something, will you promise not to get mad and hit me?”

“What?”

“I lied. The walk is far.” 

You stop in your tracks, side-eying Sungchan. “You’re kidding.”

He shoots you a grin to soften your annoyance. “To be fair, it wouldn’t be bad if you weren’t in heels. I sincerely apologize my queen, let’s order in an Uber and—”

You grip his wrist from pulling his phone out his pocket. “In this economy, you want to call an Uber?! What are you, made of money? It’s gonna be like 80 bucks at this time of night!”

Sungchan only shrugs. “It’s fine, it’s like a fifteen-minute—”

“No wonder you pay for our food all the time. You must be loaded to not care about Uber costs. Besides, you made it seem like a marathon, Channie. C’mon, let’s go!” You start walking once more, giving one good push at his back to start forward with you. 

Sungchan catches your nickname for him, eyes sparkling at the word but your anger is overshadowing it.

“But… YN, your feet—”

“It’s fine, I’m not a baby.”

You were in fact, not fine. 

Five minutes in, Sungchan couldn’t even hide his attempt to walk at your pace anymore. You were practically a snail, swallowing down complaints because then you’d be eating your words from earlier.

A convenience store’s bright sign happens to catch Sungchan’s eye across the street. He gently guides your shoulders to sit on a bench within his sight, before jogging across the street and into the shop. In a record 45 seconds, he’s back out and holding a pair of house slides he just bought. Idiotically, your heart beats faster at the gesture. 

“I didn’t know your shoe size so…”

He breathlessly bends down, softly gripping an ankle before sliding your heel off and placing your sore foot into a shoe. 

“... So you think I’m Big Foot?”

Sungchan is fighting a snicker and loses his fight against giggles, looking away to laugh into his elbow. 

“This is funny?”

“I’m sorry!” He defends himself. “I grabbed the first pair I saw! I didn’t want you to just be outside alone in the dark!”

“You should be glad I’m thankful right now, otherwise I’d be more offended you think I have clown feet.”

“They were $2.50, alright?  I’ll take the blow to my bank account against your whining. I saw you were revving up in there.” 

You sputter when Sungchan taps a finger to your forehead, getting more angry. “What did you just say?”

Sungchan doesn’t speak anymore, just putting the other slide on your foot and gathering your heels in one hand. He also ignores your cursing under your breath in favor of keeping his hand in yours to lead you forward and you're distracted enough to not notice his touch. 

It’s successful for only a little, because you get quiet and can feel butterflies in your stomach. His large hand engulfs yours, and you didn’t realize you were so starved of his touch since that night in your apartment, where he accidentally grabbed your wrists in a playful fight. Every time since then, it’s only been elbows accidentally knocking together, or shoving while the other gets too loud in class or the library.

For a few minutes, only the grasshoppers chirping mimic the onslaught of thoughts in your head. You keep peeking up, waiting for Sungchan to realize what he’s doing. But then again, when you really think about it, he seemed sober, similar to you. 

Did he… like you? 

Within a few several feet of a bus stop, you both turn when hearing a late night bus roll around the corner. Sungchan looks lost when your feet slow.

He raises a brow, asking silently, “Are you serious?” and you only shrug, the most genuine smile you’ve given him so far gracing his eyes. The bus doors shift open and you press your phone to the bus’ fee device before Sungchan can. 

In the short time you’ve known Sungchan, he was a really big stickler for paying for things. You had a feeling he was trying to compensate for something; like the other weird rich kids that are odd about paying for “friends” on campus. 

“I could’ve paid for us, peanut.” 

“I know you could’ve. I wanted to.”

When he settles into a seat beside you, the awful overhead lights in the bus still manage to make you glow in his eyes. Sungchan bites the inside of his cheek at your soft grin to the window. 

“So… you want to tell me where we’re going?”

You turn to him, feeling sly. “It’s a secret.”

Sungchan leans down closer, squinting. “Should I be listening to you seriously? I thought you’d sobered up a bit.”

“I am sober enough!” You laugh with a shove to his shoulder, “Just trust me, will you?”

“Alright alright, I’ll trust you.” 

After fifteen minutes and past five stops Sungchan recognizes, you pull the yellow string running along the bus’ interior. You thank the driver and walk out where the streetlights get dimmer.

“I feel like we’re about to get murdered out here,” Sungchan halts to a stop, jerking you back. “... Are you attempting to murder me?”

You laugh, the twinkling sound echoing through the night. “No, you idiot! C’mon, what happened to trusting me?”

Sungchan obliges again, a grin permanently pasted on his face as you drag him down a set of stone steps to a sandy bank. The line of trees on your shared right break into a beautiful expanse of a sparkling lake. The large body of water was hidden behind the bushy trees you both walked by before. 

“Holy crap. This is…”

“Awesome, isn’t it?” You sit down on a tree stump like you’ve been here a million times, patting a spot beside you.

“Yeah, it’s breathtaking. How did you find this?”

“One time, I spaced out while heading home from campus. I got off this stop and just… walked until I found it. It’s my little hideout spot.”

Sungchan settles, picking a leaf out of your hair. “Well, thanks for inviting me, your majesty.”

“Princess, then queen. Now your majesty?”

“Guess you’re royalty in my head,” He snorts, looking off to the moonlight reflecting in the water. “In a good way!”

“Like, I boss you around?”

“Well, I listen—” 

You hum, tilting your head in disagreement.

“Sometimes! I listen sometimes. Because I want to listen to you.”

The oddly cheesy words make you shake your head in refusal. This pocket of quiet makes space for something different to grow between you both. And you’re slightly scared of it as Sungchan speaks up again. 

“Why’d you bring us here anyway?”

“Um, I like good company?”

“I’m flattered. But what’s the actual reason?”

“Do you always do that? Ever since I met you, you just… seek out my ulterior motives.”

“Not ulterior motives! I’m just.. curious. You make me curious and I want to know about you. About everything, honestly. You’re a little neatly packaged mystery sometimes— and you always look like you’re holding yourself back.”

Sungchan’s words bring you to a still.

“It’s just the two of us, you know? Say what you want! ” Sungchan gestures to the cool air. “Things can stay here for all I care.”

And suddenly— everything comes to the tip of your tongue. With the electricity of Sungchan’s proximity to you, his pinky just barely making contact with yours… he makes you feel alive. Empowered to say what you’ve been hiding. 

From lying to your friends about being the anonymous artist, to Soobin about your true intentions. Lying about moving on from your first love, being okay all the time. Lying on how you truly feel about yourself, about Sungchan. 

Scared to be vulnerable again. It’s too much to say at once. So it’s easier to say nothing at all.

“I can go first. You won’t judge me right?” Shaking your head no, Sungchan sighs like he’s been waiting for an excuse to let this out. “I… don’t want to be at Kwangya.”

“But..” You shift to face Sungchan. “Dance is your whole life! That’s all you do, you love it. At least, that’s what you talk about all the time.”

“I know. I know you know that too. I’m not dumb, I know you think of me as some stuck-up fund kid sometimes.”

“I don’t think that—”

Sungchan squints. “It’s okay, really— I’m not offended. My dad is one of Kwangya’s many university lawyers, he helped me get in here. I’m grateful for the opportunity. I just wish sometimes I had the choice to pursue what I do now, elsewhere. Maybe not where my dad can watch my every move. Does that make me sound more stuck-up?”

You smile. “No. It doesn’t. In fact, I always admired your ambition and your drive. As a scholarship baby here, you’re more hardworking than I am.” “Well, he’d kill me if I got anything under a 3.9 GPA at a music college. I kind of have to.”

“That’s an insane expectation, especially at a college that’s this competitive and elite. You know that, right?” 

Sungchan only shrugs and his attitude about it bothers you. 

“Well… I think you’re brilliant.”

“... Even after I dropped my dance bag on your foot? Like all the other annoying dance majors on campus?”

“Yup. Even after that.”

He laughs, throwing his head back and making you lean with him before you both fall back. You plant a hand to the dirt to steady yourselves, cackling when you kick up sand to Sungchan’s lap. He’s curling you into him, scared to send you over and somehow trip into the water lapping not five feet away. 

After you both calm down, Sungchan nudges you to talk. “Alright, I trauma-dumped. Your turn, peanut.”

“Don’t rush me…” You tease, trying to take a joking turn as you brush imaginary dirt from your lap to stand. You squat down to the lake, running the cold water through your hands.

“Do you not feel comfortable with me?”

“No, I think you’ve actually managed to crack my shell faster than Soph and she’s been my best friend for ten years…”

“Wow.” 

At Sungchan’s tone, you twist to see the black-haired boy place a hand to his chest. You toss a stick his way.

“Don’t make fun.”

“I’m not!” Sungchan gets closer to grip your elbows, pulling you to your feet. “Although I’ll definitely brag to Sophia about this fact.”

“Shut up. What do you want to know?”

Sungchan purses his pretty lips, eyes looking up to the dark tree branches above you. “Well. You do sing… don’t you?”

Your heart momentarily stops. Does he know? Was he toying with you about suspecting you’re anon? 

“I’m just kidding!” Sungchan says, almost testing you. “Yes, yes. You have the voice of a walrus, whatever. Hmm… tell me why you’re afraid of phone calls then.”

You’re able to breathe after the panic that just flooded your brain, scoffing and sitting on the sand. Screw preserving your nice outfit at this point, your knees were now weak after that.

“Oh? That’s easy.”

“Is it?” Sungchan sits before eventually laying down, eyes to the night sky. At your pause from staring, Sungchan grins up to you. 

“Lay down too, c’mon. Alright, so the answer is easy. Why do you not like calls?”

“I don’t like them because only certain people call me.”

“What does that mean?”

“People that care about me know I don’t like phone calls. As a result, they don’t call me. So when people do, then… I take it as it’s urgent enough to.”

“... I’m lost.”

You take a deep breath before saying your next words aloud.

“It’s because uh… the hospital used to call me when my mother was sick.”

The silence is deafening enough to hear the night bugs chatter away.

“It was a long time ago when I was young and home alone. She didn’t come back from work one night and I had to pick up the phone from the hospital. After that, all the calls I ever took were about her medicine, or her appointments, etcetera. Sunghoon also happened to break up with me over the phone so I guess it’s just a cursed thing of mine now.”

Clearing your throat, you focus on the stars. You feel Sungchan’s touch before his voice. His hand envelops yours in the darkness and it feels like it’s only for the moon above you to see.

“You don’t have to say sorry about the whole sick mother thing, she’ll be alright.” You bravely smile, enough to meet Sungchan’s eyes. It’s almost jarring how much admiration you see in them suddenly.

“Okay. I won’t then. If she’s anything close to strong like you, she’ll be okay.”

“That is very nice of you to say.” 

“You’re welcome.”

No words can exactly explain the feeling growing within you— the exact power Sungchan had over your head in this moment. Looking at him feels like a breath of refreshing air. Like that blissful spot in time where everything feels alright after waking up from a good sleep— or looking in the window to see snow lightly falling outside. Steam pressing against your face from a warm mug of tea. Being under a blanket of stars, like now with him. It’s like a recipe to make you feel whole again. 

Only it’s terrifying to place so much of your care into Sungchan, because the last time you did that with anybody, your heart was shattered in pieces. Your fragile, all too-big heart still is shattered. It feels like sacrificing Sungchan’s feelings if you were to let him in now, if you want to show him all your scars. 

Would he flinch at seeing behind the walls surrounding your heart? Run away like Sunghoon had before? You weren’t sure you wanted to know— whether you could handle it if he did. 

So when your noses and soft breaths graze one another and Sungchan looks at you tenderly enough you could break, you’re stuck. Stuck in a timeloop of feeling like you’re going to take advantage of another good person in your life again. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

“… You don’t mean that.” 

“I mean it. I mean it, I want you.” 

Nerves are drowning you. 

“No, you don’t want this.” 

“Can I decide that for myself?” 

His doe eyes fly around your features, taking every detail in like it’s about to slip through his pretty fingers. 

“What do you want from me? Sex? Another warm body in your bed at the end of the night? Because that I—”

“Why do you always try to frame me like that?” You can hear the hurt in Sungchan’s tone. “Do you think that’s what anyone interested in you wants? That what you want to hear?” 

“Maybe. If that’s what it takes to not be hurt again.” 

He gets up to lean on his right elbow, looking down at you in equal earnest and annoyance. “If you really wanted to know what I think about you, YN, you’d run for the hills. You and I both know that.”

“What do you think of me?” 

You regret your question immediately. Especially when Sungchan places his left palm in the sand near your waist, waiting for you to pull away. You don’t want to stop when you can see the desire in his eyes swirl and swallow you whole.

Sungchan’s palm is rough with callouses as it brushes the hot skin of your waist, skimming under your cotton top. He gazes to your exposed throat, nails scratching against your torso’s skin as he attempts to rein himself in on his instinct to touch you. You grip his arm in want, but as if coming to his senses, Sungchan slides out from under your shirt to pull it down. 

God, how much you want more of his touch on you.

“You can’t scare me away.”  

He means it. 

“You’ll regret this, Channie.”

“Then I will. Fuck. It. All,” Sungchan says determinedly, eyes shining as he nears your face. “You have me.” 

And then your hands card into his dark mess of hair, kissing him breathless. 

You desperately wish your heart to calm so you could practice an ounce of self-control— maybe try to stop the both of you from getting hurt down the line. But Sungchan’s lips are like an addiction that you can’t stop, can’t even pause for a break for air. He’s running through all your veins and you don’t mind, body on fire from his unbridled roaming now.

After all, Sungchan did say things could stay here for all he cares. 

Right?

___

(ignore timestamps unless stated otherwise)

previous | masterlist | next

author’s note: 4k of straight sungchan and yn yap! do they get freaky??? exhibitionism WHO. (guys i am kidding btw)

taglist (closed): @amortiff @kyubing @dearmynayeon @kamelyrics @alwayswonbinning @rksbae @phloam05 @imsosoheee @banez @andluv @kenn-egg @miutonz @7snse @yuyita-rosier @sooohey @totalnieparksunghoon @coorwe @mbella607 @dudekiss3r @nekotoni @socollectionmoom @jungwonsstrawberry @loopyniki @wenoberry @jaellymint @jvngw0nlvr @tzuzie @niinaskrr @lipsbyive @jungwonbropls

(c) hrtfelt4u 2025

[pluvoia]

Can I see Mark x femreader where she is needy for affection? Maybe is not usual to see her like this, but she is really affectionate in the moment and wants lots of hugs?

I promise next time I request smut 😜

"TO BE LOVED."

in which, MARK GRAYSON from INVINCIBLE loves loudly. ‧₊˚✩彡 includes: mark grayson x fem!reader (can be read as gn!reader), fluff, angst -> hurt/comfort (if you squint), good boyfriend!mark, established relationship, 1.2k words

HE DIDN'T know exactly what he had done in a past life to deserve you, but mark grayson was certain it was nothing short of saving the universe.

you were completely enamoring to the boy. often times he felt as though you had him hypnotized; casting a spell upon his soul, whispering vehement chants against his skin, and drawing him in like a moth to a flame. mark was inexplicably allured in your entire being, every fibre of his mind encapsulated by the ways in which you lived.

and that was the thing: you were just living. going about your day, paying little to no mind to the way you curled your fingers around your chin when deep in thought. ignorant to your mundane little habits, like chewing on the strings of your (mark's) hoodie or the tiniest sounds that snuck past your pudgy lips after a stretch.

but mark noticed. god. he couldn't have ignored it if he tried. he was so in tune with your spirit, so wrapped up in the frequency of your being, he figured it'd be a punishment worse than death itself to be separated from you.

to lose the greatest blessing ever bestowed upon him would be a travesty-- mark willing to fight every single viltrumite within the galaxy in order to prevent.

there was zero apprehension in the way he loved you. zero hesitation in the way he caressed your cheek, swiping his thumb against your warmed skin soothingly. zero reluctance in the way he offered himself wholly to you, flaws and all.

regardless of the way your silence in reciprocation often floated between the both of you, an unnamed feeling gnawing at your conscience.

it wasn't that you didn't love mark. in fact, that couldn't have been further from the truth; the lengths in which you'd go for the boy far beyond even your own comprehension. no-- it was just... you.

where mark was less-than-subtle touches, squeezed arms, and pouty kisses, you were warm glances, thoughtful gifts, and affirming promises. his palms on your skin, though never unwelcome, was something you had to be warmed up to. whether a past experience had tainted your perception of physical connection or not, it hadn't matter to your boyfriend in the slightest. of course he respected your boundaries, keeping his wandering hands to himself when you wanted, but he'd never taken it personally.

(mark was good that way; good at understanding. good at listening, good at being your boyfriend completely-- with his mind, body, and soul.)

and mark was right; your aversion to physicality hadn't been a personal thing, and words couldn't describe how grateful you had been upon his compassionate response. it was just the way you were hardwired, a circuit board of quality time and acts of service.

the grayson, however, was like a corruption to your file. not in a destructive or toxic sense-- but in a way that melted the wires once so tightly wound up, causing them to inadvertently swallow up foreign code; for once, you were craving mark's touch.

you yearned for the way his hands felt splayed across the expanse of your back, fingertips dashing gently against beauty spots. a craving desperately in need of satiating: his lips innocently pressing against your face or his sturdy arms enveloping you against his chest.

there was a certain type of desire that had glazed over your eyes when you watched mark crawl through your bedroom window. it hadn't been lust, instead taking shape in the form of a pure, virtuous comfort.

"mark," you whispered, holding your knees to your chest from where you sat on your mattress. you had tilted your head to the side, a few strands of hair falling into your eyes.

he watched you silently for a moment, and dear god, was he ever in love with you. the corners of his eyes crinkled gently at the lift of his mouth, whispering your name back with just as much reverence.

"i missed you." the confession floated peacefully into the air, engraving itself into the deepest parts of mark's mind.

he barely shrugged a plain t-shirt over his head, dark locks ruffling against the fabric, before he crawled onto your mattress to meet you. the bedframe creaked gently under his weight. "yeah?"

your response came without any hesitation. "yeah." you blinked sleepily, staring longingly into his deep brown eyes. "c'mere," you curled your index finger at him, scooting yourself backwards until you met the headrest to your bed.

he followed you easily, laying down against your plush array of pillows. without speaking, you had laid your head to rest against his chest, barely waiting until he had been in a comfortable position. mark exhaled softly, against the crown of your scalp, before wrapping his big arms around you-- keeping you trapped against his frame. "you okay?" he questioned, planting a kiss to your hairline. "you're not usually this..." his voice trailed off, unsure of the word to use.

"touchy?" you offered.

"yeah." he sighed, letting his eyes flutter shut momentarily as your nails found the nape of his neck, giving a soothing scratch.

you hummed. "m'fine," a fine draft of air slithered into the room, causing the remnants of mark's cologne to coil beneath your nose. greed drove you to tilt your jaw upwards, closer to the skin of his throat. you inhaled deeply, finding yourself at the most ease you've been at in a while. "just missed you. s'that illegal?" one of your hands rested gently against his chest, and you smiled softly to yourself feeling his pulse quicken.

"course not," mark replied briskly, "you're always allowed to miss me."

"i don't want to be... needy," you mumbled, before feeling mark's lips pepper your hairline and forehead. one of his hands left the back of your head to guide your chin upwards-- just enough for you to see the light dust of pink across his cheeks and the seriousness in his eyes.

"you're never needy." he reassured. his words were sure, like they were scripture, though his voice remained delicate. "and even if you were, it'd never bother me. jus' means i get an excuse to hold you for longer." mark's smile was innocent, his cheeks dimpling kindly.

his smile was one of those types of smiles; contagious, unabashed fervor oozing from his soul like joy and love and kindness were the only things he could radiate.

"mark?" you breathed out, pressing your own lips to the corners of his mouth. you'd be a fool to fight off the smile you felt yourself forming, so you didn't-- grinning like a lovesick idiot against his mouth.

"mhm?"

mark grayson may have saved the universe in his past life-- his blessing hand-picked and sent to him, to be cherished and loved and adored unconditionally for the rest of his days-- but you were unquestionably the luckiest soul to have ever breathed. because mark did love and cherish and adore you unconditionally, like the heart pumping blood to his entire body would stop beating if he didn't. his devotion to you, with his mind and body and soul, was as eternal as the sun's love for the moon. and that is what kept you inexplicably enamored by him:

the way mark grayson loved.

because despite your differences, he never made you feel like you were less than-- just because you loved quieter.

but tonight you had decided, swallowing thickly, you would love just as loud as him; with your mind and your body and your soul.

"please don't let go of me."

PLUVOiA '25 ®

loren's thots: tysm for the req!! the truth is, i wrote this a first time and it was completelyyy different and i felt as tho it was far too angsty for ur sweet little req so i rewrote it. i hope this one isnt too bittersweet for u :,,) im rly attached to the reader in this and made them "needy" in her own way, bc wanting to be held or cherished by ur significant other looks different for everyone n' i thot itd be an interesting topic to play w ! (reqs are open!!)

[geekgirles]

So I was talking the other day to @corrupted-inkwell about our respective dubs, and I felt like sharing one of my favourite translations in Danny Phantom.

Now, if you aren't familiar with the translation world, something to always keep in mind is that sometimes it is a necessity to make changes in what the characters say to achieve the same effect as the original. Now, I'll save you all the boring talk regarding literal translation, and the skopos, and all that.

But I will say this: when translating, the translator might take some liberties for the express purpose of achieving the same effect as the original did with the original audience. And there are very few things harder to translate than humour.

Which brings us to one of my favourite changes in the whole show.

Danny and Dragon! Paulina's exchange from Parental Bonding. This exchange, to be precise:

Paulina: Must have tee! Danny: Tea? Ooh, good idea. Coffee could make you a mite jittery. Better yet... Have some punch! 

Now, this exchange is a clear example of the episode's not-so-subtle theme: looks can be deceiving.

In English, Danny still thinks he's fighting the same ghost as before, unaware that the dragon is actually Paulina. Which is why he has no idea she's actually referrring to a t-shirt instead of actual tea, leading to this exchange and the subsequent joke.

In the Castillian Spanish dub, however, he deviates quite a bit from what the original script says. Though, in my humble opinion, the translation is just as snarky and charming.

You see, this is how the conversation goes down in Spain:

Paulina: ¡Yo lo quiero! Danny: ¿Sí? ¡Qué bonito es el amor! Pero deja de dar la lata con tu novio porque me estás... ¡hartando!

Which translates into:

Paulina: I want it/I love him! (We'll get back to that double meaning in a sec).

Danny: Really? Isn't love beautiful? But you'd better stop badgering me about your boyfriend 'cause you're starting to... get on my nerves!

True, it loses the original punchline, but Danny's dripping with sass.

Okay, now, for the explanation for those of you who don't know Spanish.

As you can see, in English, tee as in t-shirt and tea are homophones. They sound exactly the same. In Spanish, in the vast majority of variants but especially in Spain, that is not the case. Tea is "té" and tee is "camiseta" or, as it was translated in the show, "top."

As you can probably guess, the translator had to get imaginative to keep the lines funny. And, if you ask me, the final solution is quite clever on a lot of aspects.

As I mentioned before, "yo lo quiero" can be a very ambiguous phrase in Spanish, as several of its components can have more than one meaning depending on the context. "Lo" can mean "it" or "him", while "quiero" can mean either "I want" or "I love." And the translator toyed expertly with that ambiguity and its application to the plot.

Even better.

That exchange and its subsequent confusion helps tie the story together and even allows for a continuity nod within the same episode. It really strengthens the episode from a narrative standpoint.

Again, as we all know, by that point, Danny didn't know he wasn't fighting the ghost girl from the lab, but Paulina, which is why he assumes she's talking about the prince she wanted to meet at the ball, instead of a tee. The translator took advantage of the natural ambiguity of the direct object pronoun "lo" and the verb "querer" to reflect this fact.

At the same time, they also acknowledge previous events. Namely, the fact that Dora actually told Danny the reason she was angry in the first place; her mother forbidding her to go to the ball. Which I seem to remember the original doesn't.

Paulina is saying she wants the t-shirt, but what Danny understands based on his belief that she's actually Dora is that she loves the prince. Hence why she mocks her for it and complains about how it's becoming a headache for him as, from his perspective, he's already had to fight her over it twice.

All in all, I'd say that the final translation is quite genius, as it manages to deliver on the promised humour as well as self-reference events from the very episode. That, or this is all just a big mistake because the translator understood "Prince's Costume Ball" instead of "Princess Costume Ball" as it appears on the wiki transcript. We might never know... lmao

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED-Talk.

[kettleworth]

Mending Stitches

Description: When facing down the Roaring Knight again, Susie is confident that she, Kris, and Ralsei can beat it again. Things don't go as planned.

(Just some angsty Ralsusie. I know it's short but I've got better stuff cooking... hopefully. Enjoy!)

Susie was strong. She's known this fact for pretty much her entire life. To her, she felt as if she had little choice in the matter. The only alternative was to roll over and die; Susie was not about to do that. Not even when she was face-to-face with death itself.

In this case, 'death’ took the skeletal, glinting black form of the Roaring Knight.

Was Susie scared? Probably a little bit. It would be foolish to not be. This wasn't the first time she was up against them, however. In fact, currently, her confidence was through the roof. Her courage was boosted by the fact that Kris and Ralsei were by her side, as they usually were. With the high of another adventure through the Dark World fresh on her mind, there was no way that any of them were going to let the Knight run away from them this time around. This time around, the three of them would hold nothing back from stopping their greatest adversary once and for all. They were done playing around.

Unfortunately, so was the Roaring Knight.

Right as the fight initiated, the Knight's floating frame zipped around the air as quick as lightning, unable to be touched by anyone's attacks. Neither Susie nor Kris could keep up with their movements, unable to land a single blow on them. Even Ralsei's attempts at landing one of his newly acquired offensive spells were effortlessly dispersed by a wave of their weapon. For a bit, Susie felt as if the Knight was simply toying with all of them. She couldn't help but feel cocky frustration grow within, roaring out to them as she stood panting, ready to swing should they dare move closer.

“What's wrong? Not in the mood to fight?!” She challenged, squaring her shoulders as she heaved heavily. “Then just give up now! End this charade, you fraud!”

As Susie's last word rang out, she immediately felt the aura shift. As if the word itself had cut the Knight deeper than any physical attack that the heroes were ever to land on them. Before she could even blink, the Knight had launched itself forward, cracking the dragon girl in her jaw with their fist. The force of the blow was enough to send Susie back a good distance, falling square onto her back as she groaned out in pain, which began to spread through the nerves of her teeth.

“Susie!” Ralsei called out, wasting no time in hurrying to her side. He bent down, pulling Susie back up to her feet. “Are you okay?”

“M'fine..!” She grumbled, accepting his offer to help. Her footing was shaky and her mouth now stung like hell, but otherwise there was no greater damage. Looking to the distance, she noticed Kris had turned to face her, concern breaking through their stony expression. As they stretched their hand out, the Knight darted in front of their body, seemingly out of nowhere. They gave another hard, firm punch, this time unleashing it directly into Kris' stomach. Their eyes shot wide open, all of the air instantly getting knocked out of their lungs.

“Kris!” Susie and Ralsei called simultaneously, watching in terror as their body was flung away from the party. Unlike Susie, however, the Knight was quick to dash behind them, catching them before they could tumble into the ground. They soon hoisted the human over their shoulder, allowing their weapon to sheathe itself into nothingness.

If things were bad now, neither of the heroes knew that it was about to get much worse.

“Get back over here!” Susie yelled out, running at the Knight as they started to fly up and away. Ralsei followed behind closely, not wanting to lose sight of Susie or Kris. “Give them back!” She looked over, glancing desperately to the fluffy prince. “Ralsei, what do we do?!”

“I...I don't know!” He answered, unable to peel his eyes away from the Knight. “...wait, what's it doing?” Ralsei asked, pointing upwards. Susie's eyes followed his gesture, watching as the Knight began to pull Kris' weapon from their scabbard.

The Black Shard.

Ralsei's eyes widened in horror at the realization, watching their foe look over the weapon with keen interest. “H-hey... you can't do that!” Susie yelled, readying her axe. She knew that the only way to do anything was to attack with a Rude Buster, but she also couldn't risk hitting Kris. They were stuck between a rock and a hard place. Even now, however, Susie was confident that she could save them. She had Ralsei with her, giving her all the hope in the damn world.

Before they could do anything else, the Knight lifted up their newly acquired weapon, charging up their own attack. With one quick slash, a massive rush of pure, red energy barreled directly to the two remaining heroes. It was so fast that neither of them had enough time to do anything other than defend themselves. Susie flung her arms over herself, wincing as she steeled her nerves for an inevitable hit. To her right, she could hear Ralsei's scarf flip around, no doubt wrapping around the fluffy boy.

Soon, Susie let out a deep groan, feeling a gash cut across her arms. Warm blood spilled down her forearms, dripping off of her elbows and onto the ground below. It definitely hurt, but as far as she was concerned, she had experienced worse. She was sturdy enough to remain standing.

Ralsei was not so lucky.

Despite the intense stinging that wracked her nerves, Susie felt bold enough to lower her arms slightly and open her eyes. Her vision instantly shifted towards Ralsei, hoping that he hadn't suffered too much damage. When she realized that wasn't the case, her eyes widened, fully lowering her guard at this point.

She was met with the sight of Ralsei's scarf unraveling off of his body, having been shredded down the middle and leaving behind frayed threads. It wasn't the scarf that left Susie frozen in terror, however. Unbeknownst to her, the Black Shard's inherent ability to inflict critical damage to 'Dark-type' enemies left him in a worse state than what would've been expected from one single slash.

This became evident when Ralsei started to stumble backwards, his arms weakly waving around in an attempt to keep himself balanced. His feet remained rooted in place, though Susie quickly realized the reason as to why. Especially when they slowly started to disperse into thick, black fog.

“...no. No..! Ralsei!”

Ralsei could barely even look in her direction as he started to fall backwards. His mouth was open, a choked scream attempting to escape this throat, though what came out was something more akin to a shuddering groan. Gravity took a hold of his body, forcing him to fall backwards into the cold, wet ground beneath them. Any pain that he was experiencing was held back immensely, his eyes starting to glaze over. As if it took a lot of energy to hold back his suffering. As if he was accepting his fate.

Susie wouldn't allow that.

“I've gotcha!” She gasped, not even thinking before she darted in his direction, catching Ralsei in her hands. Up close, Susie realized just how grievous his wounds were, as more of the shadowy smoke flooded from underneath his robe. She could tell that he was much lighter than he should have been. To add insult to injury, she looked up just as the knight flew off with Kris in their arms. If its attack was truly only a method of distraction, did they need to go this far? “Fuck... fuck!” She snarled, fury burning deep within her chest. It felt as if her whole body would explode from pure wrath.

“...Su...sie...” Ralsei gasped with a shaky breath, turning his face towards hers and alerting her to look back at him. Her rage shifted to horror as she held her small, fluffy friend. His eyes were unblinkingly large, tears starting to fall down his cheeks. Susie didn't know if he was crying out of sorrow, pain, or both, but she wouldn't allow herself to think deeper on the thought. Even as tears started to sting the corners of her eyes, she wouldn't allow herself to show weakness. Not when Ralsei needed her strength more than ever. “I... I...”

“I'm here, Ralsei,” Susie insisted. Her arms were strong, but her touch was gentle. Especially as her fingers ran through the fluffy fur on his head. He laid still, gasping gently as he tried to catch his breath. Susie's petting calmed him down marginally, though it was clear that affection alone wasn't going to heal him. Her spare hand started to hover over his body, pressing around his waist. “Lemme... lemme help you, okay?” She insisted as Ralsei winced, her brow furrowing as she concentrated on her magic. She tried to ignore the fact that she could no longer feel or see Ralsei's legs.

A familiar green glow emanated from her palms, gleaming and sparkling over Ralsei's body. His breathing started to increase again, shadows continuing to pour out from beneath his robes. Susie grumbled to herself, concentrating even more now. She didn't even notice that she was smearing her blood all over his clothes nor the searing pain that burned her wounds.

Ralsei did, however.

'Why... why isn't this working?' She thought, her own breathing starting to heave in desperate frustration. It didn't help that Ralsei was now starting to squirm around restlessly, weakly attempting to lift up his left arm.

“You're... hurt...” He breathed out, trying to place his hand over her wounds. Instead of the usual soft, fuzzy sensation of his paw pads, however, she only felt the shredded end of his sleeve flop uselessly over her forearm. More of that familiar shadowy smoke poured out.

It felt cold.

Ralsei's words and actions only caused Susie to start heaving even more, slowly losing the battle with keeping her horrified tears at bay. Even now, when he was peering within Death's Door, he only cared about making sure she was okay. His expression fell, realizing that without a proper hand, none of his magic could affect. The damn sap. Why did he have to be so fucking loving? To her, no less? Despite his intention, it made her feel as if he had reached in and wrung her heart out.

She grabbed the sleeve in a shaking grasp, closing the end of it with her hand. “Stop...” She choked out, unable to hold back a cough in a desperate attempt to strengthen her resolve. Tears began to spill from the corners of Susie's eyes, burning her cheeks as she continued to try and keep Ralsei alive. The gleam of her magic barely seemed to affect, although she did take notice of the fact that the 'bleeding' was starting to slow up.

She didn't know if this was actually a good thing or not. Especially since Ralsei's eyes were starting to glaze over, his head lolling off somewhat. “...Sooz...” He gasped, his mouth barely moving.

“Please just... just stop..!” She sobbed out, clenching her eyes tightly. The hand that laid over Ralsei's waist was gripping his robes tightly, trembling uncontrollably as she did so. “I...I can... I can help...” She begged, as if it could be enough to keep him from perishing. With her own ability appearing to not be enough, however, she had little idea of what to even do.

Just let him die? She couldn't... she wouldn't.

Even as she cried with strained, retching coughs, Ralsei continued to stare into her face. She could feel his eyes bore into her, as if he were looking directly through her. It only made her heart hurt worse. Even with Susie hunched over him, he weakly began to lift up his other arm. The one that still had a hand attached. A soft, familiar touch graced the girl's wet cheek, fingers gingerly cupping her jaw with as much affection Ralsei could muster.

Susie's eyes blinked open, greeted with the sight of the prince's beautiful, damp, pink eyes, staring adoringly through a half-lidded gaze. Those damned eyes. Windows to a beautiful soul. His muzzle expressed a tiny smile, opening and closing somewhat. At first, she thought he was merely panting, the only noise exiting being a few heavy breaths. Once her yellow, tearful eyes made contact with his, however, Susie realized he was trying to speak again.

“I... love... y... you...”

Ralsei's words were practically silent, being breathed out through painful wheezes. Susie heard every bit, however, her heart rate picking up even more so. Her angered sobs turned into more quiet whimpers. Her expression became thoroughly saddened, unable to keep herself from reaching up and pushing his palm into her face, nestling into it. She continued to hold his sleeve, which was the only force keeping his wounded arm elevated at this point. Why now? Why now of all times?

“Please... don't...” Susie sniffed, not wanting to accept his words. There was no denying the closeness she felt for Ralsei, which had only grown stronger from all the time they had spent together. Her grip tightened even more so, her body continuing to puff and heave. “Don't… talk like that... like you won't m-make it...” She affirmed, finding what little hope remained in her body and allowing it to burn brightly within her chest. 

“...because I love you too.”

She wasn't about to lose him. Not now. Not when there was so much left for the two to say and do. Susie looked directly into Ralsei's eyes once more, a fire burning in her wet eyes. It was enough to make his own widen, despite his growing weakness. If she looked closely, she would’ve been able to see a glimmer of ambitiousness sparkle in his pupils as well. With a newfound strength, Susie slid her hand off of Ralsei's using her arms to reach down and scoop the boy into her arms. He recoiled and gasped out in pain from the sudden action, but couldn't help but enjoy the sensation of being held. He didn't know if it was his 'time' yet or not, but Susie's passionate hope sparked belief that he would make it as well. He didn't want to die, either.

“We... we'll figure something out, okay?” Susie insisted, slowly standing on semi-sturdy legs. Ralsei nestled his head closely into the crook of her neck, whimpering and breathing with creaky gasps. Even with the discomfort of his glasses smushing into her skin, she didn't stop him.

“Knight... Kris..?” Ralsei asked quietly, his good arm now wrapped feebly over her shoulder. Susie tucked his damaged arm onto his chest, holding his body in such a way that his essence wouldn't spill out. Naturally, holding fog was no easy task, but she was never one to care for things like 'logic' and 'physics'.

Susie looked down to her prince, flashing a small, snarling smile. “We'll find them. We'll kick the Knight's ass, save Kris, and get you back home to safety, okay? I promise you'll be okay.” She had no idea if she could keep those promises, but she'd be damned if she was giving up that easily.

Ralsei blinked slowly, giving a weak nod as his eyes drifted shut. “Oh... kay...”

“Hey, you stay awake, okay?” Susie insisted, an edge of panic in her voice. The boy gave another small nod, though did not open his eyes. His breathing was still hitched and quiet, but the rhythm was at least steady enough to bring some comfort to her worries. “I'll yell as loud as I can if I catch you noddin' off on me..!”

As the girl trudged on, she continued to use her magic to keep Ralsei healed up. It was a slow, arduous process, but at the very least he hadn't dissipated completely. Her magic must have been doing something useful. Susie didn’t even worry about the gashes in her arm, which were still gently trickling blood down her arms. The pain was negligible, especially when compared to what the prince had just gone through.

For the time being, she ignored the confusing, conflicted emotions that swirled around her head and made her stomach do back flips. The words they had said to each other echoed in her mind, as if finally realizing what she had just admitted to the fluffy boy. She did love him, and she was happy to know he felt the same way.

Now, she was left with no other choice but to make sure he makes it out alive.

Finding and saving Kris was not going to be an easy task, but she believed in herself. After all, she had her sweet, fluffy boy with her.

She had all the hope in the damn world.

[thranduel]

one of the biggest things that gives me hope and confidence in byler endgame is the fact that mike does not know how will feels.

you don't drag something like this out into the next season, ESPECIALLY after 3 years.

if they wanted to explore will's love for mike in season 4 (keep in mind, it's been confirmed he's been in love with mike since the beginning of the show too), then at some point this season will would've confessed himself or mike would've found out and confronted him to ask him.

then, if it was going to be a rejection, it would've happened and will would've sadly had to accept it and watch mike tell el he loves her. the love triangle storyline would've been resolved, everyone would've had their answers and that's it.

(OR, will wouldn’t have been in love with mike at all and they actually would’ve introduced a completely different love interest for him, preferably in season 4 so we could at least have time to get to know and like him).

but that's NOT what happened.

instead, season 4 showed us all the reasons why mike and el have the worst romantic relationship, and showed us that mike and will are closer than anyone and understand each other the best.

they also decided to sneakily use the painting and will’s feelings for mike as a way to completely mislead him and make him think will was talking about el, so that mike and el’s relationship could be “fixed”. not only is it absolutely disgusting and insulting to use a queer character as a plot device for a straight ship, but it’s just stupid too from a writing perspective. you have this character who has been completely misled and doesn’t know the full truth, therefore can’t form his own opinions and make a decision based on what he actually knows. he was just told something false and then went running back to his old relationship, which STILL isn’t even “fixed”.

it was WILL’S FEELINGS and WILL’S PAINTING that gave mike strength and made him feel truly loved for the first time in his life. this isn’t some “tiny” thing. this is MASSIVE. and anyone who brushes it to the side does NOT care about mike individually as a character. because he was drowning in insecurities before and never felt like an equal to el. he never felt needed or completely loved. will is the one who changed that and helped him, but he pretended he was talking about el which isn’t fair.

they can’t leave it unresolved. they can’t.

[wond3rland13]

Sugar Talking

Natalie Scatorccio x reader ⋆ slight Misty Quigley x Natalie Scatorccio 

Warnings!: Cursing, slight angst, technically not a happy ending, mistyjax mention.

mbf series

Words: 1.4k.

You had promised yourself you wouldn't end up in the same situation again, seeing her disconnect from your relationship, or whatever you two were and disappear for two weeks, no calls, not answering texts, ignoring and avoiding you at parties.

Then came the sugar talking, the- “Baby I'm sorry, I've been going through so much and I just forgot about you, I'm sorry, I'll do so much better, I'll be here for you, I promise.” she had always said like it was rehearsed, the first time it happened, you fell for it. The teary eyes, the pleading tone, the fact that she was holding onto you like you might vanish. Those sweet kisses she would plant on your entire body as she made promises you swore she would keep, the fact she had always said that “i changed, im sorry. I swear I won't do this again.” You believed it at first like the blinded naive person you were.

So you let her whisper sweet nothings in your ear as your breath became ragged and your tone became needy, you let her tell you that she missed you like you were some private she temporarily lost, you let her say the empty I love you's as you dozed off, body sore and lips flushed.

The second time, she came to your apartment with a bouquet of red roses and apologies in the back of her mind. You didn't even let her get one word out before you were stepping forward, hand going to the back of her neck as you smashed your lips against her like nothing had ever happened. She clearly understood because she stepped forward, guiding you back inside, closing the door with her foot and tossing the flowers on the little desk nearby as she lead you to your couch, her touch soft and delicate while yours was desperate and fast like you were scared that the words that were gonna come out of her mouth when she appeared at your door would be “This is over, im sorry.” so in your mind, doing this before she could say anything was best for your sake.

The next morning, Nat had left early after making you breakfast because she was meeting up with Van, as you went to go grab the roses that she had brought last night to put them in water. But when you picked them up, they looked like they were dying… they couldn't die that fast. Unless… Unless she knew that you wouldn't wanna necessarily talk when she showed up, no, it couldn't be. You just decided to ignore it and just get ready for the day, you had to go to Misty's place since you were helping her move to her new apartment anyway.

“Jesus fucking christ misty, what the hell do you have in here, a person stuffed in?” You said, struggling with a relatively big box that weighed more than five boxes combined. She turned and raised her brows, rushing over and taking the box from you, also struggling but just putting it in a further spot on the floor.

“Nothing, it's just… supplies for stuff.” She said, too vague but you weren't gonna push. You were about to start helping her organize some pots and other utensils in the kitchen when something pink and white caught your eye, pink tulips and baby's breath filler, Misty's favorite flowers, and yours as well.

“Nice flowers,” you say, continuing to organize as misty walks in, she glances at them before joining you.

“Thanks, they were a gift.” She says with a small smile on her face, you glanced at her with a mirrored smile on your own face.

“From who, Jackie? Did she finally reciprocate that insane crush you had on her?” You teased lightly, she nudged your shoulder, rolling her eyes as she neatly organized forks and spoons in a drawer.

“That was in high school, and it wasn't that insane.” She defended herself. You let out a breathy chuckle, throwing your head back as you leaned against the counter.

“Dude, you literally called her just to hear her say ‘hello’ like three times before hanging up because all she heard was breathing.” She narrowed her eyes at you with no malice to it before correcting you.

“For your information, the flowers are from nat, she brought them here earlier as a move in gift.” She said, not containing the smile and blush on her face while remembering it. Oh.

You slightly shifted, hip pressing against the counter almost painfully as you crossed your arms. “She brought them this morning?” You asked, masking the worry with curiosity. Misty nodded excitedly as she mirrored your position.

“Yeah, I didn't know she knew my favorite flowers, but you know what? I think she might like me, she's kinda showing it, or you know, as much as nat can show that she likes someone.” your jaw clenched but you gave a tight lipped smile as you listened to her explain why she thought Natalie liked her.

You wished you could tell her you and Natalie were… whatever you were, that maybe the flowers were exactly just and only a move in gift, but then you remembered the roses, the possibility that she already knew what you would do when she showed up at your door. You two were just ‘casual’ as nat called it the first time you two had hooked up in lotties bathroom when she threw a party, you guys weren't together, she didn't have to get you flowers, she didn't have to show up at your doorstep every night like she was sneaking in even though she wasn't. And maybe she wasn't wrong about bringing practically dead roses, maybe you were just predictable.

Or maybe you were trying to convince yourself otherwise of the thoughts you were having.

But as time went by, her eyes started going from teary to narrow anytime she was apologizing for whatever she fucked up, whether it was a week of no show, you finding her making out with another girl after she'd promised you otherwise. Everything was changing, her tone was irritated instead of worried, and her grip that once felt like a promise, was now rejected anytime you tried to touch her when you two were arguing.

“For fucks sake, its like every time I do something in my life that doesnt have to do with you, you find some way to argue with me!” Natalie yelled, sitting down on the couch as you were standing up, arms crossed as you scoffed. This was the seventh time this had happened, counting. And just like all those other times, this was the final straw. But this time, you actually meant it.

“Because its like you dont even care, its like you have these fucking half assed apologies rehearsed and you dont care how I'll feel!” she scoffed and stood up, taking one step forward just like she did last time.

“I already said, I'm sorry, okay? I've fucked up a lot, and I know, and im trying my best to not fuck this up,” you rolled your eyes as you took one step back.

“Natalie thats fucking verbatim what you said last week! Do you have this shit in the back of your mind to pull out whenever we argue?!” You said, her face dropped as you teared up, but not because she felt bad, not because you were crying, but because she'd been caught.

She reached out, grabbing your hand softly as tears welled in her own eyes as she guided you to sit down next to her on the couch.

“Im sorry, and I mean it, if you want me to stop giving flowers to other people, I will, if you want me to start paying attention to you like no other, I will. I just�� im sorry baby, I know ive fucked up, so many times, but please, just let me make it right.” You swallowed hard, meeting her eyes with your own red rimmed ones, you shouldn't, you should break whatever this is off and tell her to fuck off, you should end this for good but instead, you just leaned in, pressing your lips to hers softly as your eyes fluttered shut. The kiss felt like a promise and a I love you all at once, it felt… real, at least for now.

She pulled back slightly, shifting so you could rest your head on her shoulder as she enveloped you in her arms, letting you relax. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, knowing that whatever you just did, wasn't what you promised yourself.

You had fallen for the empty apologies and make up sex, and you knew that this was like a loop now, a loop that you wouldn't get out of for a while with Natalie.

Notes: AHHHHH first fic of the man's best friend series is out, I hope you all liked it and more to come very soon ♡

(Idea inspo by @archivesctrccio and also ty to @emmynemm for helping me ♡♡)

[11queensupreme11]

the people that actually think percy can canonically defeat a god in an actual REAL fight (percy has never fought a full-powered deity that wasn't nerfed via "first blood draw" rule, possessing a human host, not at full power, percy had help, or they were literally just nerfed

I hope this doesn’t sound nitpicky or argumentative but Percy actually does fight a god at full power and win. At least from what we know

In TLO after being bathed in the River Styx, Hades shows up with an army to collect him and Percy manages to not only bulldoze through the army but also pin Hades. Keep in mind this is all still in the underworld, Hades domain, where he should theoretically be strongest

Granted Hades does manage to shadow travel away, but Percy was able to overpower him

Could there be other things at play? Totally. But as far as the readers are informed, Hades attacks Percy so Percy overpowers him and forces him to flee. There are no known nerfs and no one was helping him

I’ve always taken this scene as Percy being able to keep up with and overpower gods for at least short bursts. Plus we later see Percy fight Hyperion (a titan that should be somewhat comparable to the gods) and do well, though there was help for parts and I’m fairly certain he had been fighting before that so he wasn’t in peak form. Though I may be wrong about that last part

Now, this could totally not be canon to your story so you can completely disregard this for it, you’re god there. Or you could have different interpretations of these scenes, which I would love to hear. But Percy does manage to beat a god in un encumbered combat from what I can tell

(Sorry I took this as an excuse to ramble about Percy’s fighting capabilities. I have a lot of pjo knowledge rattling about and I love to share it)

no dw this isn't nitpicky, i'm not much of a powerscaler, but i've been learning a lot from the recent revived jjk powerscalers, which in turn lowkey revived me 😭😭😭😭

but anyway

for the hades thing, i wouldn't really call that "full power". tho i know hades yelled out "DESTROY HIM" which makes it pretty obvious that hades wanted his ass dead, what makes me pause is the fact that hades is a god. and he literally has many many many ways to straight up kill percy. he could've shifted to his true form and incinerated him (while probably covering nico up in shadows to prevent his son from seeing it).

we also know gods can obliterate ppl at will, like that one time poseidon was about to atomize his own kid with a single thought cuz he sat on his favorite chair or whatever 💀

and yet hades did none of that and had his guards do most of the action

so for the hades one, i don't think this was a case of percy genuinely being op enough to defeat a god, i think it was another case of rick nerfing a god/hades genuinely not even trying hard enough to kill or stop him

percy could overpower a god if she was fast enough, but again, that's if they're not IMMEDIATELY going in for the kill cuz gods are gods. there are many many many ways for them to instantaneously kill a mortal. and once they recover, she'd be screwed.

as op as percy is, she is still just a mortal and gods are, well, gods. if a god really wanted her dead, and there was nothing holding them back, she would get curbstomped in an instant. if percy could actually beat up a god, the series would be shorter cuz she would've already solo'd the verse.

[itsasweater]

Part 2

Conrad: He's moody, broody and a sad boy. This is basically how we have seen him through most of the series other than some small moments, moments that are very important though. He is all of those things previously listed, but the very first episode of the series tells us as viewers right away that this is not really him and something is wrong, there is a reason for his behavior. We learn this through Belly during her first swim, she knows something is up with him, he's acting differently, not his usual self. This is not the Conrad she knows, or the boy she grew up with. His mom even mentions to Laurel that he has been off and asks her to talk to him and she thinks it has to do with a break up. Of course we find out that the reason for his moody, broody, sad boy routine is that he knows about his mom's cancer. While dealing with this knowledge, him and Belly start to have moments, unlike Jere, he does seem to be bothered by her seeing/dating Cam. His pursuit of her has never been about some competition with his brother, he didn't even know Jere liked her or was interested until after he pushed Belly away. And the thing is, he did push her away.

The biggest downfall of his and Belly's relationship is him not being a great verbal communicator or when he does communicate verbally he instantly takes it back. He deals with the knowledge of his mom's cancer all alone, we see him suffer a panic attack because of it. When him and Belly have that moment on the beach at the end of season 1, she tells him that she would have supported him if he told her about his mom's cancer, he acknowledges that and that he wanted too and should have told her. But this is his main problem, throughout all 3 seasons, he keeps things in. When he does communicate he does it through actions and is also his way of showing his love for Belly (others as well). The problem with this though is that Belly needs that verbal communication, we as viewers can see that his actions are coming from a place of love, but she is so unsure a lot of the times about whether he feels the same way about her without that verbal confirmation. I mean look at how taken a back she was when she finds the infinity necklace for her birthday, or when she finds out that he went to Jere to ask if it was okay to date her (she says she would have fought harder for them if she knew he felt that strongly for her) or when he makes her the dirt bombs for her birthday or when she finds out that he convinced her mom to go to the bridal shower. All those moments only click for her when Conrad actually explains why he did those things, the light bulb goes off for her.

Throughout the series we have also seen the parentification of Conrad, which also hurts his and Belly's relationship. He's the oldest, all the other kids have and do look up to him (especially Steven). His dad scolds him after Belly gets drunk and trips down the stairs crashing into Susannah, he tells him afterwards that he is supposed to set an example for the other kids since he is the oldest, that he shouldn't have let that happen. This and dealing with the knowledge of his mom's cancer, he pushes Belly away after their moment where they almost kissed. He just completely dismisses it. He has that moment in the motel in season 2 where he tells Belly he still wants her, only to immediately take it back the next day. This season showed us why he did that. We get the flashback of Susannah before she dies asking Conrad to look out for Jere, in his mind, in that moment in the motel, looking out for Jere meant no longer pursuing Belly. Letting him be with her. While being the oldest he is expected by his parents to look out for all the younger kids and put them first, which is what he did in that moment.

All of this leads to Conrad finally, yes at the worst time (he had a reason), to finally be selfish and actually verbally communicate how much he loves and cares for Belly. He does 3 big speeches in fact lol which is great improvement, he got the hang of it and was like you know what, this feels good lol While the timing of the speeches are horrendous, he only does it because the person he thought was better for Belly and loved and respected her cheated on her. Conrad becoming a punching bag for everybody is the result of them being surprised that he actually verbally communicated this loudly along with the timing lol, they are not used to him voicing his feelings. It sucks to watch him not defend him self but it was funny to see just how rattled everybody was because the guy who keeps things in finally let it out, it messed all of their days up lol

In the end, yes, Conrad was a moody, broody, sad boy through most of the series, a lot of it due to his mothers health. Unfortunately, this is the way he chose to deal with it, by keeping it in, keeping it to himself most of the time and not communicating with those he loves the most and the ones who love him the most, Belly being the one most affected and hurt by this.

That Christmas flashback in Season 2 where Belly and him are together, that car ride to Cousins, he is so happy and communicative with her because at that time he thinks his mother is going to survive and beat cancer. I'd like to think, that, that Conrad and the way he was at Thanksgiving with her, is the Conrad Belly fell in love with all those years growing up.

[littlewolf1984]

Dangerous

Sylus x Non MC

TW: violence, gore, trauma, eventual smut, smoking

Summary: She wants revenge against those who have wronged her and she wants Sylus' help to get it. Sylus wants her in return.

Word count: 7,780

Dangerous - Chapter 5 - littlewolf1984 - 恋与深空 | Love and Deepspace (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

Ongoing (Part of a series: Entwined)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5: Captivating Lesson

Sylus

“You keep dropping your shoulder,” I shouted at Luke with a frustrated huff as I heard a loud thump then a curse echo through the gym. I didn’t even need to look at the ring to know that it was Luke who had been hit. He had a bad habit of ‘forgetting’ everything I had taught him.

“Sorry,” he said, a clear whine in his voice. “It’s a bad habit.”

I turned to look at him, a brow raised, not even bothering with a response.

He shrugged one shoulder in apology as he bounced on the balls of his feet, shifting back and forth, arms up like they needed to be, but he kept dropping his fucking stance and getting hit.

“Keep your elbow in,” I explained for what felt like the thousandth time, putting the dumbbells in my hands on the rack and running a hand through my hair, “and if you’re going to follow through with a punch, you need to put your weight behind it.”

Luke let out a long sigh but adjusted his arm, his face showing his irritation. “I know, I know,” he grumbled in response, rolling his shoulders back and lifting his fist to cover his face. “It’s hard.”

“It’s not that hard, especially with your level of training,” I responded with a sigh, rolling my eyes and barely resisting the urge to walk over and smack him upside the head to correct his form. “It’s basic boxing. Stop being dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic,” he grumbled. “My arm is getting tired.”

“Your muscles are sore because you’re an out-of-shape baby,” Kieran quipped then danced out of the way when Luke went to punch him.

Luke let out a low growl. “Oh, shut up, you little bastard,” he snapped, his eyes narrowing as he attempted to land another well-aimed punch.

Kieran easily dodged the shot, a mocking smirk on his face. “Ohhh, scary.”

I let out a snort of laughter as I watched them. It was a familiar scene, one that I had seen frequently over the years. Both brothers, in their matching training gear, both panting and sweaty with irritation and a hint of frustration on their faces.

And me, watching, while offering advice or critiques.

We’d been at it for a few hours now, practicing various fighting techniques and working out. My body was sore, my limbs feeling like jelly, and I could feel the familiar signs of exhaustion, but I refused to rest.

They’d decided on the impromptu training session when I had returned from a meeting that had gone bad, and the opportunity to put them through their paces was a chance I could never pass up, and the opportunity to work out a bit of my own pent-up tension and frustration was also a bonus.

Especially after last night. The memory of last night flashed through my mind for the thousandth time. The sight of Danger, her golden eyes focused on me, the lack of surprise on her face when I had suddenly appeared…

It had been infuriating. Most people would have at least flinched or shown surprise when someone showed up at their home unannounced.

I had been prepared for shock. Anger. Something.

Anything other than the calm, almost bored expression she had given me. That small fact had been bothering me, kept me awake and affected my mood.

Why hadn’t she been more surprised?

It was like she had expected me to be there, and it threw me off my game more than I’d expected. I hadn’t been able to think straight from that point on, my control slipping in a way I had never experienced before.

But I had hidden it.

It had been so hard to keep myself from reacting in a more physical manner, but I had managed to restrain myself. Until she threw the dagger at me. After that, all bets were off.

The blade had been thrown with such perfect precision and aim, grazing my cheek and landing mere inches away in the wall.

I wasn’t surprised by her skill or reaction speed. She was a trained, skilled fighter. I knew that, had seen the evidence, but the precision… aiming at me and doing nothing more than grazing me?

No one had ever had the audacity to try and attack me so openly. The sheer skill and boldness in the act had been… thrilling. Like an adrenaline rush.

Her challenging my authority like that had ignited something deep within me. Driven my attraction up to a level that was hard to control, and I was still reeling from it. Still reeling from the sight she’d made and the emotions she’d brought out in me.

But her reaction after she had thrown it is what had fueled my response, which had prompted me to stalk her like a panther in the night hunting its prey.

That casual smirk, like she had just been testing me. She had been so calm, her gaze almost disinterested… almost bored. But her calm had been in stark contrast to her body. Skin flushed, damp hair sticking to her face, her toned body covered in a thin layer of sweat that made her appear almost golden in the artificial light, her lean muscles on display as her clothing clung to her body.

And her eyes… deep, molten gold, staring at me, watching me approach.

Her lack of fear or even a hint of nervousness had been both irritating and intriguing.

Most people avoided me like the plague. Most people ran when they saw me coming, afraid of the power I had at my disposal.

She hadn’t even seemed concerned. It was refreshing.

Even after all the research I’d done, all the things I had learned about her and her life, she was still a walking contradiction. A walking contradiction that had wormed her way into my thoughts and refused to leave.

That was my only excuse for my stalking towards her, enjoying the way she had looked me over, taking in every detail, studying my appearance.

It had taken all my self-control not to pin her to that pillar and fuck her senseless. To make her submit. To make her… mine.

A sudden cry of pain interrupted my thoughts, and I looked up to see that Luke had managed to land a hit on Kieran’s shoulder.

“Ha, I got you!” Luke crowed in a victorious voice, “I told you I could do it!”

Kieran was hunched over, hands on his knees and breathing hard. “Yea, you did it alright,” he replied, reaching up to rub the sore spot on his shoulder. “That hurt, you asshole.”

Luke grinned triumphantly, a feral gleam in his eyes. “You left yourself open. You were distracted.”

A chuckle escaped me, a deep, amused sound as I watched them. “Well, that’s what happens when you get sloppy,” I said. “You’re asking to get hit.”

Luke shot a triumphant grin in my direction, his chest puffed out with pride. “Well, I got him, didn’t I?” he said, a hint of bragging in his voice.

Kieran let out a scoff, standing up straight and rolling his shoulder. “Only because I got distracted.”

“Get an ice pack or something and suck it up, princess,” Luke commented.

“I’m not a princess,” Kieran protested, glaring at his brother.

“I’m sure,” I replied, a hint of sarcasm in my voice. “Sure do grumble like one, though.”

Kieran’s face turned dark red, and he looked like he was ready to launch himself at Luke.

I couldn’t help the amused smirk on my face as I watched their antics. They’d start off fine, but eventually, their tempers would flare up and the fighting would devolve into a sibling squabble.

Although I’d never admit aloud, I loved moments like this, seeing them so lighthearted and relaxed. It was almost enough to make me forget about my pent-up frustration.

Almost.

I leaned up against the wall and silently watched them, Luke chasing and attempting to attack again while Kieran bounced around on the balls of his feet while taunting his brother. Kieran was the better fighter and managed to get in a few more hits than Luke, but Luke was faster. He was also impatient, which led to him becoming frustrated easily, which led to him making mistakes.

Like the one I saw coming.

Kieran dodged another punch, grabbed Luke’s arm and twisted it into an awkward position behind his back, his hand wrapped around Luke’s wrist.

“Hey!” Luke yelped.

“You’re being impatient, which means you’re leaving yourself open for counterstrikes,” I said as I pushed off the wall and approached the ring. “You’re off balance. And you’re still dropping your shoulder. I’ve told you, if you keep charging in blind, someone is going to take advantage of it. Keep your chin up and your eyes focused.” I stopped beside the ring and looked up, meeting Luke’s eyes. “It’s like you have the attention span of a goldfish.”

“I do not!” he cried with a scowl and tried to pull his arm free from his brother, but it was still held fast in a vice. ‘Get off me!”

“Say uncle,” Kieran replied, grinning like a lunatic as he taunted his brother and held him in the punishing grip.

"Never!” Luke yelled.

“And you, stop playing cat and mouse,” I called to Kieran. “You have a tendency to get overly cocky when you think you have control. Quit playing with him.”

Kieran rolled his eyes but released his hold on Luke. “I was just having fun.”

“Yea, fun for you,” Luke grumbled, rubbing his bruised wrist and shooting a glare in his brother’s direction. “You’re both ganging up on me.”

“Only because you leave yourself wide open to attack,” I replied, folding my arms across my chest. “Don’t be sore just because we’re both better than you.”

“Why am I the only one you’re picking on?” Luke grumbled.

I smirked. “You asked for my advice. What did you expect?”

He let out a dramatic huff, his face twisted into a pout. “Yeah, but you don’t have to be all…” Luke waved his hand and made a face, searching for the right word.

“All what?” I asked, tilting my head as I feigned ignorance.

He let out another huff, irritation clear on his face. “All…. bossy and know-it-all-y."

Kieran snickered at this, hiding his smirk behind his hand.

I let out a bark of laughter, shaking my head as I looked at him. “You asked for my help. That means I can tell you what you’re doing wrong.”

“I know, but you don’t have to be so…. bossy about it,” Luke grumbled.

Kieran snickered again, clearly enjoying the banter. “Oh, look at the poor baby, crying because he can’t handle the boss man being bossy.”

Luke made a face at him and stuck out his tongue. “Shut up.”

I let out a snort and shook my head. “Honestly, the two of you act like a couple of little toddlers sometimes.”

The two of them exchanged a look, then quickly looked away and tried to look innocent.

“We don’t know what you’re talking about,” they said in unison, their voices full of mock innocence.

I gave them a flat look, raising an eyebrow. “Save it,” I said with a slight shake of my head. “I’m not buying it.”

Kieran snickered again, clearly enjoying annoying me. “You know you love us.”

I let out a loud bark of laughter as the brothers quickly degenerated into childish taunts and insults about who I loved more. Watching them was like watching two kindergartners in the middle of a brawl. It was simultaneously annoying and amusing.

The playful banter continued for a while, the brothers’ taunts escalating into insults that made it sound like they were going to start a real fight any second.

I sighed and made my way back over to the weights, grabbed my bottle of water and took a sip before setting it down and picking up the dumbbells before I quickly got into a familiar rhythm and let my mind wander.

The burn of the stretch in my muscles felt good and the repetitive movements did their usual job of clearing my head, but not for long. I could distract myself for a while, but no matter how hard I tried, images and thoughts of Danger kept slipping into my mind.

Her golden eyes, sharp and calculating. The way she had smirked when I appeared, like she was daring me to react.

A loud thump echoed through the room, followed closely by “Dammit! How the hell am I supposed to hit you if you keep dodging out of the way like that?!”

“That’s the point, genius,” Kieran bit back.

I chuckled but didn’t stop what I was doing.

I was exhausted, my body on the verge of giving out, but I forced myself to pick up the pace, ignoring the pain and continuing to lift. My arms were screaming, my legs were beginning to tremble, and I felt like I was running on empty. But I couldn’t stop. I wouldn’t.

The world melted away, and I was lost in rhythmic motion.

A few minutes rolled by and then I was pulled out of my thoughts by the faint sound of the gym door opening, but I didn’t look up. Instead, I kept my focus on lifting and tried to push down the annoyance at having my concentration interrupted.

Whoever it was, they were interrupting my training, and I didn’t have the patience to deal with whatever bullshit they wanted.

Until a familiar voice suddenly spoke, breaking through the fog in my brain. “Hmmm… what a captivating sight.”

I immediately froze, my muscles suddenly locking up and refusing to even twitch.

It was her. I knew it without even looking. Her voice, despite the soft, almost playful note it held, was too familiar not to recognize as it echoed through the room.

It was like every nerve in my body was suddenly on edge and oversensitive, hyper aware of her presence, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. To acknowledge her. I was stuck, frozen with indecision and an overwhelming flood of conflicting thoughts and emotions.

Keeping my gaze fixed on the weights in my hand, I continued with my lift and asked, “Have you been watching long?”

“Long enough,” she replied with a shrug in her voice.

That casual tone, as if this was nothing serious, as if her breaking into Onychinus Headquarters was just a regular, everyday occurrence.

“Enjoying the show, kitten?” Luke’s voice was loud and obnoxious.

I’d forgotten they were still in here.

Danger let out a soft, almost silent hum.

Clenching my teeth, I raised my left hand, continuing with my lift as I waited to see what she would say next.

“Mmm, very much so,” she replied, amusement lacing her voice. “I’m not sure I learned much though.”

That playfulness was still in her voice, but there was something else, something I couldn’t quite identify.

Every nerve in my body went on high alert, and my mind was working overtime as I felt my hands clench into tight fists around the weights as I set them down and straightened, letting out a long, slow breath and turned around, my eyes instantly landing on her.

My breath hitched in my chest, and I suddenly felt dizzy.

How one female could cause me to react so intensely…

She stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame with that damnable smirk on her face, looking relaxed and casual with her arms crossed over her chest and that giant wolf of hers leaning against her leg.

Her gaze was fixed on me, watching me intently.

She looked like a dream, her small frame almost completely encased in black, just like the first time I had seen her.

Form-fitting jeans that hugged her legs, untied boots and a tank top with the bottom ripped off revealing a tantalizing glimpse of her toned, tanned abdomen. An unzipped leather jacket with red patches, straps and oversized sleeves that fit her just as snugly as the jeans, half a dozen necklaces and a belt with a large buckle that drew my attention to her hips. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, the silky waves falling to just above her ass with the braided sections decorated with the same silver clasps and ruby beads as before but with blue and green added in.

She was beautiful. A feral, powerful, and dangerous female in her natural habitat. The most forbidden of fruits, and I was the snake, enticed and hypnotized by her presence.

The desire and need to touch her, to feel her skin against mine after being denied last night, became overwhelming. There was a hunger within me, but I shoved it down, refusing to give in to the raw, primal urge to stride over, wrap my hands around her neck and demand she tell me why she was here, why she was being so calm and casual, why she seemed so damn amused by me.

It took every ounce of my control to keep my hands at my sides and not move; to keep my expression stoic. To not show… that my throat was suddenly dry, my mouth feeling as if it was filled with sand. To show that my heart was racing in my chest, and my brain felt like it had been turned to mush. It was infuriating and frustrating that she could affect me so easily, without even touching me.

The smirk on her face widened when she saw the look on mine, like she knew the struggle I was going through.

A low, almost guttural growl rumbled in my chest.

If she kept smiling like that, I was going to do something stupid. Like stride up to her, pick her up and carry her off to my room and…

I shook my head, quickly shutting down that thought and focusing on my breathing.

This was bad. Really bad.

My mind was so far from being clear, it was almost laughable. I needed to focus.

“Do you make a habit of breaking into places?” I finally asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I only wanted to return the favor,” she said, eyes flicking to the ring behind me briefly before returning to mine. “You know, since you broke into mine last night.”

Her expression was blank, but there was a gleam in her eyes, one that made my heart rate pick up and skin suddenly feel too tight, like my body was overheating.

The corner of my mouth curled up into a smirk, my eyebrows slightly raised, and I let out a small scoff. “I didn’t break in; I simply let myself in.”

“Is that what you call it? Letting yourself in?” she asked, her tone dry.

The smirk on my face widened, my body shifting as I crossed my arms over my chest. “You left the front door unlocked. I assumed it was an open invitation.”

She let out an amused hum, her golden eyes glittering, and pushed off the doorframe, walking further into the gym with the wolf right beside her, her gaze raking over me as she moved closer, slowly, until she was standing in front of me, just a few feet away.

Her scent filled my nose, a combination of fresh rain and something sweet. Vanilla and lemons? It was a dizzying fragrance, a drug that went straight to my brain.

She tipped her head back, her gaze traveling over me, the motion exposing her neck, baring the tanned expanse of her skin. Her gaze was like a physical touch, making my breathing hitch and skin tingle as it lingered on my bare arms and chest.

I knew she was taking in every detail, and I barely resisted the urge to shift under the intense scrutiny, forced myself to remain motionless, gritting my teeth and fighting back the primal reaction that was building inside me.

The urge to touch her. To feel her skin beneath my hands, to press my body against hers, to hear the little gasps and cries that would slip from her lips as I did unspeakable things to her.

She tilted her head to the side, those golden eyes watching me with amusement and something else, something that looked like need, want, and appreciation all rolled into one. “You know what they say about assuming,” she said with a raised eyebrow.

I let out a soft laugh. “I happen to be incredibly impulsive,” I said with a shrug.

She looked me up and down again, a slow sweep of her eyes, her gaze intense, almost hungry, and I could practically feel her undressing me with her eyes as her gaze traveled over the muscled planes and ridges of my chest and stomach. “Is that what we’re calling it now? “Impulsive?”

I took a step towards her, my smirk turning into a full-on grin. “Would you prefer “reckless”?”

She let out a soft scoff and rolled her eyes. “You sound like the kind of person who would walk through a minefield and call it a peaceful stroll.”

I couldn’t stop the small chuckle that escaped my lips. “And you sound like the kind of person who would do something reckless on a dare.”

Her smirk widened, her eyes glittered as she seemed to find our little conversation amusing but didn’t say anything in response to my taunt.

“So, tell me, kitten,” I murmured, reaching up to push a strand of hair out of her face. “Is that what you did? Break in here on a dare?”

She didn’t even flinch, even as my fingers grazed her cheek, and instead let out a quiet huff. "Do I look like the type of person that would take a dare from someone?"

My eyes roamed over her face, my gaze lingering on the soft curves of her jawline and the fullness of her lips. Gods, I wanted to kiss her.

"If not a dare… why did you break in?" I countered, my voice low and rough.

She was silent for a moment, studying my face, and it was almost predatory, the way she was looking at me. I could feel my body reacting to that look, my heart racing in my chest as blood rushed south to my cock and I was suddenly very glad for the loose gym shorts I had on.

Finally, she looked away and gave a dismissive shrug. "Curiosity, mostly."

I arched an eyebrow, not buying that excuse for a second.

But that simple word. One small, little, simple word. There was something about the tone of her voice that sent a jolt through me.

I took a slow, deep breath to calm myself, trying to ignore the heat rushing through my body and pooling low in my stomach. "Curiosity? That's a bold-faced lie if I ever heard one."

She rolled her eyes and shifted her gaze back to me, a challenge in her expression. "And how would you know that?"

I took a step closer, closing the little distance that was left between us.

My eyes roamed over her once again, taking in every little detail, the way her tank top clung to her body, the way her hair fell against her shoulders. The way her nostrils flared as my breath ghosted over her skin.

Her gaze flickered, her eyes narrowing as if she was struggling with something, and something inside me flared at the sight.

This cat and mouse game that we were playing was almost as intoxicating as she was.

I kept my body close to her, my lips brushing her ear as I spoke. “Call it an educated guess.”

The skin of her neck was right there, so close I could see the pulse of her heartbeat.

“Is it just me or is this some type of bizarre mating ritual we’re watching here?” Luke suddenly burst out.

The comment was like a cold bucket of water.

Both of us snapped out of the little bubble we seemed to have created around us and looked at the ring where the twins were watching us like we were their own personal soap opera.

For a few seconds, I’d forgotten that there were other people in the room, and now I could hear the smirk in Kieran’s voice as he chimed in.

“Mating rituals usually involve a lot more physical contact, Luke,” he quipped. “And a hell of a lot less talking.”

My annoyance flared as I glared at them.

Luke looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded in agreement. “Right, that’s true. I guess we’re not watching a mating ritual after all.”

“What a shame,” Kieran replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “I would’ve paid good money to see that.”

Danger laughed.

The sound was like music to my ears, and my gaze instantly snapped back to her. The whole world fell away, the sound like a drug that went straight to my cock. It was addictive, and I wanted to hear it again.

Her face was alive, no longer guarded or wary, her eyes glittering with amusement, and she seemed almost… carefree.

I forced myself to keep my expression neutral, despite the storm of thoughts and feelings raging inside me.

The twins were both watching her with a mixture of amusement and caution, sizing her up with shrewd eyes, like two little bloodhounds that could sense the tension in the air, and I could practically see the gossip wheels spinning out of control in their heads.

The sound of Luke’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “I think you two should get a room.”

I shot him a look, my annoyance with them at an all-time high. “Shut up, Luke.”

“Don’t be a killjoy,” he responded with a smirk, his eyes glinting with a hint of mischief. “We’re just trying to be helpful.”

I rolled my eyes and let out a huff of irritation. “You’re a pain in my ass, the both of you.”

“Language,” they replied in unison, their expressions mocking and innocent.

“For the love of…” I muttered, reaching up to pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. “Kitten, please... tell me why you’re really here before I murder someone.”

She let out another laugh. “But murdering someone sounds like more fun.”

I raised an eyebrow, my irritation mixing with a hint of amusement. “Does it now? Do you make a habit of murdering someone just for fun?”

She shrugged. “It keeps things interesting.”

I rolled my eyes in response. “Of course. Because, gods forbid, we have a boring life. That would be the end of the world, wouldn’t it?”

“They’re doing it again,” Kieran mock whispered to Luke.

“Yep, they’re flirting,” Luke agreed, nodding his head. “This is starting to feel like we’re the third and fourth wheel.”

I snorted, an annoyed noise that sounded more like a growl, and said, “You guys are getting on my damned nerves.”

The twins both held up their hands in mock surrender.

“We’re just saying,” Luke said with a shrug. “You two are the ones making googoo eyes at each other and having this weird mating ritual thing.”

“You’re like a pair of hormonal teenagers,” Kieran added.

“And also, we live to cause chaos,” Luke said with a grin.

“And we thrive on your irritation,” Kieran added with a nod. “It's like fuel for us.”

“Yeah, we can’t help it,” Luke agreed. “It’s in our nature.”

“More like an annoying personality trait,” I grumbled.

“Ouch,” Luke feigned a wounded expression.

“That hurt, boss,” Kieran said, clutching his chest.

“Out!” I shouted, pointing towards the double doors of the gym. “Now!”

“But we’re having so much fun,” Luke said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes and let out another frustrated huff. “Out! Get out now before I do something I’ll regret!”

Kieran feigned a wounded look. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me,” I growled, my patience at its limit.

The twins let out loud melodramatic sighs, pouting exaggeratedly.

“Fine, we’re going,” Luke griped as he grabbed his brother’s arm.

“You two have fun being all mushy with each other,” Kieran called back over his shoulder.

“Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do!” Luke shouted.

The twins cackled loudly as they disappeared through the doorway, their laughs echoing through the room.

I let out a long sigh, feeling a headache forming.

The silence was suddenly deafening. The only sounds were both of our breathing, the faint hum of the lights and the wolf’s claws on the concrete floor as she moved away from Danger’s side and jumped into the ring.

My heart was still racing in my chest, my body still on edge and my head a confusing mix of emotions. There was still tension between us, crackling like electricity in the air and I stiffened, my attention instantly snapping back to her when she suddenly laughed.

She was watching me with a small smile on her lips. “They’re… interesting.”

“They’re obnoxious,” I muttered, turning to look at her. “So, why are you really here?”

She shrugged, a casual gesture that somehow looked both innocent and predatory. “I told you already. I was in the area and got curious. Figured I’d check this place out, see what all the fuss is about.”

I raised an eyebrow, still not believing her. "Just out for a casual visit? Sounds like a lame cover story, kitten," I replied, my tone laced with skepticism.

The smirk on her face widened, her eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. "Are you always this paranoid, or is this just for me?"

I couldn't help but let out a huff of irritation. "I'm not paranoid; I'm just observant," I retorted, my arms crossing over my chest. "And right now, my 'observation' is telling me you're hiding something."

She cocked her head to the side, her gaze studying me keenly. "Oh, really? And what makes you think that?" she asked, her voice low and quiet.

I scowled in response, my frustration growing. "Because you're not the type to just 'casually drop by' somewhere. You're too calculated for that. So there has to be more to this visit than just curiosity."

She shrugged, a nonchalant motion that made me want to reach out and shake her. “You’re right,” she mused, a sly gleam in her eyes as her eyes trailed over my arms and chest. “I’m here for a reason.”

I felt the last shred of my control snap at the look in her eyes, and I was suddenly in front of her, grabbing her arm, my fingers encircling her wrist, the gesture almost rough.

She let out a small gasp as I slammed her against the wall, a mix of surprise and excitement flashing across her face. Her pulse was thumping under my hand as I kept her wrist in my grip, holding her arm above her head as I reached for the other and pinned it beside the first.

I towered over her, my body pressed against hers, trapping her against the wall, and a part of me relished having her like this. In my control.

She was so close. So damned close that I had to fight the urge to strip her bare and slam into her. I had to fight the urge to take what I wanted.

I let out an involuntary growl as her scent filled my nose.

She felt so small in my grip, fragile even, her head barely reaching my shoulder, but I knew she was anything but fragile. She was strong, powerful, and could fend for herself even though I had her cornered, trapped, vulnerable and completely at my mercy.

My mind was a blur, my body in control as I leaned in close, close enough that my breath ghosted against her face.

There was no hint of fear in her expression, no hint of panic. Instead, all I saw in those bright gold eyes was curiosity. And lust.

The corner of her lips curled up into a smirk, and she leaned back against the wall, completely at east with the current situation.

I should have been worried, I should have been cautious, but all I could focus on right now was her. My grip on her wrists tightened as I leaned in closer until my lips brushed against the bare skin of her neck.

She let out a soft gasp at the sensation, her body arching against mine.

I inhaled deeply, my mind spinning as her scent filled my nose. She smelled like heaven and sin rolled into one, sweet and intoxicating, and I couldn't get enough of it.

I nuzzled against her neck, my lips tracing a soft, teasing path up to her jaw, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses in my wake. "Tell me the truth," I demanded once I reached her ear, my voice a low growl. "Why are you here? What do you want?"

“Well, well, well,” she said, voice low and smooth, “aren’t you feisty tonight.”

“You have no idea,” I replied, my voice a low growl.

She let out a scoff. “Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea.”

Her words had a certain, suggestive tone, one that sent a jolt of heat straight to the lower parts of my body.

Damn woman. She was infuriating, and it was driving me insane.

Any composure I had had was now gone, and I was acting on pure, primal instincts.

I was tempted. So tempted to just end this game here and now by taking her, marking her, making her mine. The urge was almost overwhelming, the need to claim her driving out every coherent thought in my head, but I still had enough control to stop myself.

I wasn’t going to take what wasn’t freely given.

“You’re playing a dangerous game,” I warned as I lifted my head, my grip on her arms tightening.

She hummed, her eyes glittering, as if she was amused by the situation. “Am I?” she mocked, her voice low and teasing. “You don’t seem to be stopping me. What are you going to do now? Rough me up a bit? Teach me a lesson?”

I let out a low growl, a mixture of anger and something else. “Don’t tempt me, kitten.”

“Oh, are you going to punish me?”

“Maybe I will,” I growled, lowering my head so we were almost nose to nose..

“Is that so?” she asked, her voice a low, teasing purr as she leaned her head back against the wall.

I let out a small, almost involuntary growl, the sound deep and feral. “Careful, kitten, you’re pushing your limits,” I said, my eyes fixed on her exposed neck.

She let out a soft huff of laughter, a sound that was almost a purr. “Is that supposed to be a threat? Because it sounds like a promise,” she replied, her voice low and sensual.

My grip involuntarily tightened around her wrists, my fingers pressing into her skin, marking her. “Take it however you want it,” I growled, my voice deeper than normal.

Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and a sharp inhale of breath slipped through her lips as I leaned in even closer.

My lips were so painfully close to hers. Close enough to feel the heat of her skin, the ghost of her breath. Close enough to taste her.

My heart was pounding in my chest. My body was rigid, every muscle tense and vibrating with need.

The urge to press her against the wall and kiss her was overpowering. There was a moment of tension, a moment where reality seemed to warp and time seemed to slow.

I wanted her, I wanted her so badly it was almost painful, but that wasn’t what we had agreed to. I couldn't have what I wanted so desperately. Not yet.

Damn her.

Damn her for driving me insane.

Damn her for being so damned infuriating.

Damn her for being able to stay so calm and steady in a situation like this.

And damn her for being able to get a rise out of me so easily when no one else ever had.

“Did you come here just to push my buttons?” I asked, my voice still low and growly.

She let out a chuckle, the sound like a challenge. “Is it working?”

I leaned forward and put my lips against her ear. “Keep pushing, kitten, and I’m going to show you just how well it’s working.”

Her breath hitched, and I felt her body shiver as a soft, almost involuntary gasp escaped her, and her voice was breathy and thick with arousal when she spoke. “Is that supposed to scare me?”

I nipped at her earlobe, voice dark and possessive. “No, chaos, it’s a warning. Now, tell me why you’re here.”

Her eyes fluttered, and she let out another small gasp, the sound almost a sigh.

I pulled away, eyes flicking from her eyes to her lips, and I watched as her tongue flicked out to wet them. I let out an involuntary groan, my restraint almost snapping at the sight of her teasing tongue.

Damn it. She was going to drive me insane if she continued like this.

I leaned in again, my mouth right next to her ear. “You keep teasing me, you keep pushing my buttons, and I’m going to pin you against the wall and show you exactly how much it affects me.”

Her breathing was ragged, her body reacting to my words.

I leaned in closer, my lips brushing against her neck, my voice a low, dangerous growl when I spoke again. "I want to hear you scream my name. I want you panting and shaking, begging for me."

I felt her shudder, her breath hitching in her throat.

I was so close to losing control. So damned close.

I could smell the arousal that emitted from her, making the air thick and heavy.

I wanted to claim her. My instincts were screaming at me. Telling me to claim. Take. Possess, but I had to remind myself that I couldn't have her yet. She was off-limits.

But at this moment, it was so damned hard to remember that.

“You know damned well what you’re doing to me, don’t you, kitten?”

She let out a soft moan, the sound sending shivers down both our spines. She leaned in, her mouth close enough to my ear that I could feel the heat of her breath against my neck. When she spoke, her voice was a taunting purr, “You’re being awfully rough with me,” she murmured, “but I like it.”

My fingers tightened around her wrists, a low growl rumbling in my chest. "You're a damn tease, and you know it," I muttered through gritted teeth.

She let out a soft, breathy laugh, her lips curving into a taunting smirk. "And what are you going to do about it?"

I let out another low, deep growl, frustration and desire warring within me. "Gods, I want to shut you up, kitten."

I could practically feel her grin against my ear at those words, her response a soft, almost mocking whisper. "Oh? You want to shut me up?"

"You have no idea," I ground out through gritted teeth. "My self-restraint is hanging by a thin, thin thread right now. You keep pushing and I'm gonna snap."

She let out a soft, amused hum, her voice still low and seductive. "And what if I want you to snap?"

Oh, gods. Those words sent a jolt straight down my spine.

I could almost feel my control slipping at her words. I was so close to giving in, so close to losing control and giving her exactly what we both wanted.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, my teeth digging in hard enough to draw blood as I leaned forward… to do what I didn’t know but the moment was interrupted by the sound of an obnoxious voice coming from the door.

“Oh, my gods. Get a room, you two!”

We both snapped out of the haze, my grip loosening, and we looked over to see Luke standing in the doorway, a wide smirk on his face.

I let out a low growl of irritation. “You have terrible timing, you know that?”

He let out a loud laugh. “Well, excuse me for interrupting your little moment here but I thought you would want to know Dante and the others are back.”

My attention quickly snapped to Luke, everything else quickly forgotten. "They're back already? They were supposed to be out for another day, at least," I responded, my grip on Danger loosening even more.

Luke shrugged. "I guess they finished early. They're in the briefing room; waiting for you."

I cursed under my breath and let go of Danger’s wrists, taking a step back and running a hand through my hair, trying to regain my composure as I turned my back on her.

The last thing I wanted to deal with right now was anything business related, but if Dante had returned that meant the last four men who had been out gathering cargo had returned, the traitor among them.

I knew who it was. Of course I knew. Nothing went on in my territory that I didn’t know about. Now it was time to take care of him.

I looked over my shoulder at Danger as the realization of why she was here suddenly dawned on me. She stepped away from the wall, rubbing her wrists where I had grabbed her, her expression neutral.

I let my gaze roam over her. She looked a little dazed, and there was a hint of a flush on her cheeks. The sight of her like that sent a jolt of satisfaction through me. She was just as affected as I was.

Luke let out a low whistle. "Well, this isn't awkward at all," he said, looking between us.

"Not at all," I said flatly, still trying to keep my thoughts and emotions in check.

Luke just rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Danger.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” I said in an irritated tone before he could open his mouth and say something stupid.

Luke nodded and shot me a cocky smirk. “Of course, boss, just thought I’d let you know.”

He saluted me and turned to leave, the doors closing behind him, leaving us alone again.

I couldn't look at her.

I was barely able to control myself as it was, and with her standing so close to me it was almost impossible. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart, and tried to push back the raging need. It was an almost impossible struggle.

“You need to go," I said, my voice dark and gruff.

She let out a soft hum, a sound that was almost a mockery. “No.”

The word hung in the air like a challenge, a subtle defiance, and it made my blood boil.

“No?” I repeated, my voice cold. “Do you have a death wish or something?”

She chuckled softly, "No. I just don't like being told what to do."

I closed my eyes and let out a huff of irritation. "This is not negotiable, kitten. You ne—”

“No," she said again, her voice sharp and final.

That made me pause. No one told me no. Ever.

I opened my eyes and turned my gaze to her.

She was staring at me with a defiant expression; her arms crossed over her chest and her chin held high. She looked like the epitome of stubbornness.

My anger flared up at her boldness, but underneath there was a strange respect.

She wasn't intimidated in the slightest by me, and for some damn reason, I found it fascinating.

“Remember our deal?”

Her question was like a jolt to my system, and I froze, my thoughts immediately going to the deal we had made.

I clenched my jaw, my expression hardening at the reminder, and I let out a low, frustrated growl. "What about it?"

“I give you the name of the traitor and I get to help take him down,” she reminded me, her voice a low purr.

My jaw clenched as I met her gaze, my expression darkening. It was true, I had made that promise, and I never went back on my word. And even though I already knew who it was, I would keep my word and let her help take him down.

This was the moment I had been waiting for, the chance to catch the traitor and kill him for thinking he could get rid of me and ruin everything I had worked so hard for.

"And you know who it is?"

"I do. And if you think I'm leaving without being a part of the action, you're sorely mistaken."

"Who?" I snapped, my voice hard and impatient as I waited to see if she told me the name I already knew.

“One of the guys who returned this evening," she responded calmly, her expression unperturbed.

My hands clenched into fists at my sides as she affirmed what I had already figured out, and my jaw clenched so tightly my teeth ached.

"Name?" I demanded.

I saw her smirk widen, a hint of satisfaction in her eyes as she leaned back against the wall, her body language deliberately causal. “Now, where’s the fun in just telling you?” she asked, her tone teasing. “I want something first.”

I felt my pulse quicken, the tension in the room suddenly shifting as she smirked at me, her gaze intense and unwavering. I wasn't used to being toyed with like this, and the fact that she was so casual about it made my blood boil.

"And what exactly do you want?" I asked, my voice low and cool.

“I want to fight you again,” she replied smoothly, her tone casual.

That took me by surprise. "What?" I said incredulously, my eyes widening in shock. "You want to fight?"

 She nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. "Yes, I want to fight you again."

I stared at her, stunned into silence. This was the last thing I had expected but the request sent my pulse racing. “Name first.”

She shook her head, her smirk growing. "No. Fight first, name later."

Her demand was like a challenge, and I felt a spark of excitement in my veins.

I couldn't deny that fighting her was appealing, I just never thought she would demand it.

And it meant getting my hands on her again.

“Deal.”

Want to read more fanfics about the LaDs boys? Check out my list here.

[thanatologie]

actually, let's just cover all our bases:

+ yes, you can send things at any time, i literally will never be mad about unprompted things out of nowhere, they literally make my day. as long as you understand i will continue to be the slowest thing to ever exist. + yes, you can tell me if you're interested specifically in a ship right off, it clears up a lot of the playing footsie nonsense to get there. i can't promise it'll work out - i really do ship on chemistry only - but we can see if that chemistry exists and my brain will be geared in that direction to look for it. + you can im me at any time; i prefer discord because tumblr's messaging system is ass and on my resolution the messenger window is the size of a postage stamp, but if it takes me a minute to get back to the convo don't think i hate you, i just go "i'll get back to this in a minute" and then fucking forget like a dummy. + if you're my mutual i want to write with you. + i write a comic book character in my other life, there is literally nothing you can suggest that will sound too out there after that one time cleopatra fell in love with iron man and asked him to stay and be her consort. + i always want to see pictures of your pets and of neat mushrooms. i have pictures of both of these things to share, as well. + i think it's neat when people read and remember your headcanons to use in threads. i try to do both this and keep a line of continuity between threads with the same person and build something. + there's a 90% chance i am drinking coffee at any given time, mind your business. + you can absolutely poke at me to see where i'm at with your reply but i'ma be real, the answer, unless i've gotten it in the queue, is probably going to be that i've got it drafted. + i do, in fact, want to hear about your other hobbies. if you knit or crochet we can share patterns. i mean, if you like socks and shawls, anyway.

[confession-of-the-heart]

Looking at some of the recent Axel discourse I want to put forward that I really like his writing as a character who struggles with appropriate boundaries in his friendships with Roxas and Xion early on because he develops out of it.

Early on throughout much of Days, Axel is clingy and lying and controlling because he is desperate to hold onto that scrap of his childhood and feeling like his old self again that the kids bring him, and not to lose them the way he feels he lost Isa to the monster Saïx turned into.

…With the nuance and development that I love staring off with him realizing his own selfishness mid-KH2, pivoting from trying to preserve the status quo at all costs to trying to do what is best for these kids, not for himself.

Early on in KH2, when he is so intensely attempting to retrieve Roxas from the data world, one needs to keep in mind that he is doing so on Xemnas’ direct orders. He was directly threatened to be turned into a Dusk—a fate worse than death for him, as someone who values his memory so much—if he doesn’t retrieve Roxas in order to drag him back into the Organization. Remember, this is a cult! Roxas breaking off from it is a major taboo that Xemnas was never going to let fly.

(Fun fact: in the KH2 novels, Axel’s entry into the datascape is shown in more detail behind the scenes. It’s actually facilitated by Saïx, who is the one that did the job of hacking into the false Twilight Town so that Axel can be sent there in the first place. There is a funny little exchange between them where Saïx has to very patiently explain the concept of what a “datascape” even is to Axel, who struggles to grasp the concept of what he’s even doing or where Roxas even is. The game doesn’t show it, but Saïx is essentially Axel’s mission control in KH2’s prologue. Retrieving Roxas was never an action Axel was attempting to pull off alone!)

Axel kidnapping Kairi after failing to retrieve Roxas in KH2 is pretty much the nadir of his character—it’s the point at which he has nothing left to lose, having failed the Organization one too many times, and hatches this rash and malicious plot in a selfish attempt to get to the Roxas that’s inside of Sora.

Axel realizing how screwed up he’s being, going back on that and trying to free her instead is where his positive turn begins.

…For reasons I can’t fathom, KH2 never shows the part where Axel goes back and tries to free Kairi, even though it does allude to it. During this attempt, there was a skirmish between Axel and Saïx where Axel is gravely wounded by him on Xemnas’ orders; the manga of all things does depict it, but not the game itself.

(I’m not sure people realize this is the case! But go and take a look at the battle sequence in Betwixt and Between prior to Axel’s death: if you pay attention to Axel you’ll see that he frequently stops while fighting alongside you, exhausted, slumping over and struggling to breathe.)

In the following scene, where he sacrifices himself, Axel is not obsessively clinging to Roxas the way so many have erroneously read: it is the opposite. He is letting go of his attachment to Roxas in order to do the right thing FOR Roxas, even if that means he himself will never see the kid again.

It just so happens that he’s pushed into this self-sacrificial decision because he’s on borrowed time: he was going to die either way due to the wound Saïx inflicted. Instead of quietly succumbing to his injuries, he just chooses to go out on his own terms.

From DDD onward we see that Lea is taking a healthier and more balanced approach to trying to bring his friends back, which is why he pursues the path of becoming a Keyblade wielder. Instead of manipulation and control, he opts to try and take the high road this time…

—though you might notice that Axel is unable to summon his Keyblade until after he has the shock of seeing that Isa—who he thought had been recompleted—has become a Nobody in servitude to the Organization again.

Basically, TL/DR, Axel’s arc begins as one where his friendships are completely unbalanced and he’s conniving and self-serving in the interest of preserving his idea of them—but as of KH3 he’s healing his own wounds to the best of his ability, and he is trying to save his friends in as altruistic a manner as he can. His reconciliation with Saïx also stems from this: he doesn’t want to hold grudges anymore. He just cares about him as his oldest friend and wants what’s best for him, too.

So in the end, it’s like a reprise of a dark theme in a major key: Lea has earned that idyllic time spent eating ice cream on the tower with his friends—all of his friends—and this time there are no more lies, no more secrets, no more manipulation. In KH3’s ending he’s not using the kids to escape his life anymore: they can just have the friendship that they originally wanted to have, without so many forces trying to tear them apart.

-- Office of Saïx’s defense attorney (working pro bono case in defense of Axel)

~~~

[shanastoryteller]

aaron doesn't stay in the closet, exactly, it's just no one's fucking business and he's, you know, got a whole ass child with victoria, so people just assume and he doesn't correct them

the thing is that aaron, even as a teenager, still has this burning desire to be absolutely nothing like his father or mother, especially at this point. so when victoria says she's keeping the baby, aaron just completely throws himself into it and works on sorting himself out because nothing on this earth terrifies him like his children feeling about him anything close to how he feels about his parents

kids either grow up into the people who hurt them or the person who could have saved them and aaron does everything he can to become the latter, just like we see in the show, only younger

chas is furious, both about the baby and that he's with a sugden of all people, but aaron won't hear anything bad against her, even after finding out about daz, and he and victoria become best friends and aaron is still going through shit but the one thing he's been a hundred percent consistent on is showing up for victoria and their baby so vic is also in his corner 100% and she helps him come to terms with his sexuality in a way where aaron goes through way less shit this time around, no assault and no having to come out in court to get a lesser sentence, but that doesn't end up making things with jackson any easier - in fact, it's worse in some ways, because only a few people knew they were together

anyway aaron and victoria end up moving in together and raise their daughter and they tell everyone they're not together but they're such good parents and friends that people just sort of assume. of course then adam, aaron's best friend, and victoria start dating and the village is like oh! maybe they mean it.... or they're both with her? who can say

anyway that's what robert comes back to and he meets what he thinks of as basically his brother in law and is hit with the same absolutely insane, mind breaking level of lust and want at the sight of him as he was before only fucking the the local thug mechanic is one thing and fucking the local thug mechanic who's the father of his five year old niece is quite another. especially when victoria announces she's pregnant again and it's aaron's without going into specifics (they figured out early on adam can't have kids and she wants her daughter to have siblings and so she and aaron just agree to have another kid together because they're already good at it and adam is already basically a step dad anyway and if his girlfriend has to have any other guy's kids, at least it's aaron)

so robert is losing his mind trying not to give into temptation here because he is stupid and distracted and thinks that adam is just their roommate and that victoria and aaron are together and happy and whatnot and he has chrissie and home farm and all that to keep him occupied, but it's not like making friends with his sort of brother in law would be a bad thing? especially when he finds out that aaron is basically the only one out of both their families who likes andy and katie well enough, but doesn't automatically take their side all the time, and thinks that robert's catty comments are hilarious, even if he's always quick to pretend at looking contrite when victoria glares at him. and he's such a good guy, such a good dad, rough like aaron is always rough and robert tells himself that he's just making friends while trying to ignore the fact that aaron is all he can think about

only he's out in town one night after a long day of business and sees aaron, except aaron's not alone, he's with some guy, kissing him, getting hot and heavy in some random alleyway and robert is hit with twin feelings of gut deep betrayal on behalf of his sister and and a freight train of lust. he wants to confront aaron but he's not sure which emotion will win out and he doesn't want to find out

he debates with himself on the way home, spending a long time parked on the side of the road trying to be rational about this and failing, and just goes fuck it and goes to victoria's to tell her everything. only he just barges in and it's to victoria and adam making out on the couch and robert is GAGGED. he's BOGGLED. victoria is pregnant with aaron's child and she's cheating on him with his best mate?

(are he and his sister more alike than he realized?)

and he finds himself losing his shit at adam because he can't lose it with victoria, like how could you do this what's wrong with you ect, only both adam and victoria are confused because they're very publicly together and she and aaron aren't and neither of them realize that robert just missed the memo

then aaron gets home and is like hey guys why the screaming? don't wake the kid. and robert is like are you - you are - with a boke - are yo bi or something? because we deserve the moment of comedic role reversal of robert convinced aaron is bi and aaron having to be like uh, no, i'm gay actually? the hell? and robert finally figures out what the hell is going on and completely blue screens

and, well, since now fucking aaron wouldn't be betraying his sister he just... he might as well... sure it's a bad idea, but god, look at him...

anyway that's how robert starts cheating on his soon to be wife with his sister's gay babydaddy

real comedy would have been if aaron had knocked victoria up and then robert comes back and falls for his sister's gay babydaddy

[zolo-san]

hey @ people who write long fics/chapter fics: what do you do when you have a fic idea and you've got a lot of good stuff to make up the actual fic, but you don't really have a real ending?

asking for a friend lol

So I don't normally write long fics and I really don't write chapter fics (Like one of my longest posted fics is a little over 14k but most of my stuff averages around 4k) but the Lawlu university AU that has been consuming my brain for the last month or so is an idea that has to be a chapter fic and I have a lot of ideas for it, but I don't have a clear ending point. Most of my fics have always had a very clear and natural end Like I've never really planned the ending out per say, but I just knew when the story I was trying to tell was finished and never had a problem wrapping it up But right now I'm close to finally getting all the ideas I had for this AU down and I don't know that I have a "clear" ending, ya know I know that I don't (at least right now) have much more that I'd like to include in the story, but idk if I can really end it where my ideas/desire to continue the story drops off like idk if it'll feel like a proper end there...........this is also so hard to explain if you're not living in my head and don't know where the planning doc currently ends, so sorry lol

I also have this irrational fear of writing chapter fics Like I get anxious at the implied commitment of it all and dumb things like how long a chapter should be? (I don't believe in filling up stories with filler just for the sake of length, if it's not relevant to the story or character development I generally won't include it - it's the script writer in me >.<) I know there's no real "rules" to how long a chapter "needs" to be and there's no such thing as a chapter being "too short" (this applies for writing in general, but double for fanfic) but it makes me STRESSED that I might not have enough for certain ideas to make a "full" chapter idk why I'm more comfortable with creating a bunch of short fics as part of a series and calling it a day (maybe because there's also no implied "total" amount of chapters even tho ao3 does the 1/? until you mark a chapter fic as complete) I also get anxious because I like the permission series fics feel like they give me to skip large chunks of time and I feel like I can't do that with a chapter fic (again I know there are no "rules" I'm just stressing out for nothing lol) I also just like that with a series I could randomly pick it up and write another piece to go with it on a whim if say, I get another idea out of nowhere after completing the story that I have currently planned (tho I guess there's nothing that stops me from adding a chapter to a fic even after it's marked as complete is there? 🤔) BUT if I were to write it as a series, then I'd have to have a title for every fic and the thought of that makes me want to jump out a window (naming fics is truly the bane of my existence), but with a chapter fic it's one title and I'm done (I also already know what I want the title to be sooooooooo) I can also make a series for the AU and have the chapter fic be a main fic and then have the freedom to write sort of spin-off one-off fics in the same universe for other couples 😈

idk man........I'm having a CRISIS over a fanfiction and something about that is very funny....but still lol Especially because I'm mostly worried about breaking non-existent "rules" idk I think I just have to accept that I'm a little weirdo when it comes to fic writing~

tho I still have the problem of not having a clear ending..........

help i'm going crazy i know none of this matters but still >.>