#keep in mind i didn't even bother to rewatch it before writing this

[pawfulofwaffles]

Hot take maybe, but I never really liked 10 Minutes To Doom.

There are multiple reasons why I don't like this episode, but to start with the actually logical ones, I feel like it's really nonsensical and confusing? I'm not talking about 'nonsensical' in the iconic Invader Zim-esque humor sense, I mean what it's plot revolves around just doesn't add up to me. So according to Dib, the PAK is Zim, but Zim is still operating his own body to get the PAK back. I understand this is kind of a "downloaded memories/personality" type of deal, but it just feels confusing when they're supposed to be connected(as one entity) but one can still exist dependently without the other. And also Zim's fear of "I'll die without my PAK" in the episode doesn't feel nearly as worrisome when you consider that-- if he is his PAK as Dib says-- he technically doesn't actually need his body. Also, if he is his PAK, why does he(as the PAK) not work to get back to his body? Why connect to Dib instead? I guess the one thing I can think of making sense is that organic Zim is the original real Zim and PAK Zim is the just-in-case backup Zim, and original Zim doesn't want to lose his PAK in spite of the backed-up personality because his body still will die without it, even if it can carry on being him.

Pushing logic aside, I have some personal bias with this episode as well. It rubbed me the wrong way the first time I watched it, specifically the part where it gets connected to Dib and Zim's personality starts infecting Dib.

I don't like the idea of 'Zim' as we know him being his PAK instead of his organic brain. I don't exactly know why? This sounds bad to say, but I feel like I mentally register him as less of a person if his conciousness is located in his PAK. When Zim's personality in the PAK messes with Dib's brain and he starts acting like Zim, I feel like it implies that Zim's personality in his PAK influences the host, but any experiences the host goes through have no influence in the personality. And why would it? If Zim's personality is downloaded into the PAK, it has no reason to change. It's technology, it doesn't grow and change like an actual brain. I feel like the fact that Zim is essentially running on a downloaded personality makes it so he's stuck and unable to learn and develop as a person. He feels like a shallow mockery of a person, just a device with a reference for an erratic personality manning a body and responding how its backed-up personality tells it to. The fact that Dib's own experiences, knowledge, and growth in his brain as himself were unable to trump/affect Zim's personality in his PAK makes me think that Zim is incapable of change, because even if he went through experiences, gained knowledge, and had the potential to grow, the unchangable personality set in his PAK would influence him and nothing would change. I don't like that.

Oh yeah I was about to finish this but then I remembered there's one other reason, this one's kinda stupid but hey I said it was biased for a reason-- it makes Zim feel too invincible. I need him to be killable, I need him to have vulnerabilities. If his body gets killed but his PAK can just attach to something else, suddenly Zim is like an immortal machine. And I don't fw that.

I've chosen to ignore some lore in that episode(as I've done with a lot of things in this fandom lmao) and instead the way I interpret it, Zim's PAK holds a backup of all of the irken's memories, but that's all for personality. It can't exist as it's own entity, it needs its host and if the host dies that's lights out for that irken's existence. Idk I think I just hate when characters don't have mortality, it makes them feel so less relatable to me.

But hey it's 1 am, this is just my opinion, and there's a good chance none of this makes sense or there's something here that I'm not getting. Also a weird bug bit me in the arm then I freaked out and now it's somewhere in my sheets so needless to say I'm going to torch my bed then sleep elsewhere

[ollyissleepy]

have you ever watched Girl From Nowhere? bc I would LOVE to see a yandere!batfam x nanno!male reader in your writing

𝐨𝐧 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲

pairings: platonic yandere!batfam x nanno!male!reader summary: new student at Gotham's Academy quickly raises in ranks as a track star, making a few enemies… and catching the attention of a few bats. cw: assumptions of using stimulants/drugs, death, murder, description of dead body and crime a/n: did I rewatch entire first season to remember that the show was about? yeah. it was so fun so write and I hope you like it<3

Tim sat at the back of the class, looking out the window. The teacher was late, and he started to grow bored of waiting. He knew he could probably use this time to do something productive, but he just couldn't be bothered to do so. And so, Tim opted to stare out the window, his palm tucked under his chin. He wondered what stopped the teacher from coming in on time.

His classmates were mostly chatting between each other, happy for the additional time they could spend not learning.

The noise in the room dies out quickly as the teacher walks inside. Tim looked away from the window and towards the woman.

"Good morning, class. Sorry to keep you waiting." The teacher greeted the students; with her hand, she invited another person here. "We have a new student; please make sure he feels welcomed. Why don't you introduce yourself?"

"Hello. I'm (name); I hope we can be friends," the new student introduced himself, keeping his hands behind his back and a soft smile on his face.

Tim watched as the new student chose a seat; it wasn't usual that someone joined in the middle of the semester. Even Bruce would wait till the new semester to send a new child to school. Especially one as prestigious as Gotham Academy.

His interest was quickly lost when Tim realised that there's nothing special about the new student. By lunchtime Tim had almost completely forgotten about having someone new in his class.

It wasn't until he sat down across from Cass that the new student sneaked his way into Tim's mind.

"Heard a few people from my class talking about a new student," Cass murmured, poking at her food with a fork.

"Yeah, he's in my class." Tim shrugged, throwing off to the side parts of his food that didn't look quite edible.

"Someone mentioned that he's here for the track team," Stephanie added, taking a place next to Cass.

"That explains why he joined in the middle of the semester." Tim sighed, looking over to his left just in time to see (name) introduce himself to some students on the track team.

They don't bring up the new student for the rest of the lunch. Cass and Tim focus on their food, while Steph complains about one of the teachers.

As the school week came to an end, Tim lost all interest in the new student. He now focused on juggling schoolwork and late-night patrols. Other than occasional whispers amongst other students about (name), he probably wouldn't know anything about what the new student had going on.

From what Tim had heard, the new student was making quite a name for himself. Apparently, he made it to the track team without much trouble and is now quickly gaining popularity for the way he runs. According to the rumours, (name) is a much better runner than the current track star, Maxwell.

At first, Tim didn't really care about that. Not much anyway. Even if the idea of such an arsehole as Maxwell finally getting dethroned.

It wasn't until he overheard the previous star runner badmouthing (name), suggesting that the new student must use some sort of stimulants to run that fast. That caught Tim's attention. He wondered if (name) is truly fast or using drugs to make himself fast. Was it all just Maxwell's jealousy?

Tim felt curious to find out which one it might be. And the idea of watching someone putting the Academy's arsehole in place brought him to the stands after his last class.

He watched as (name) ran in awe. Tim wasn't really interested in this sport before, but the way the new student seemed to cut through air like it was nothing, without any powers. He also knew why anyone would wonder about (name) using any substances to make himself run that fast.

After that practice, Tim decided to try and befriend (name), hoping to find out if it's pure talent or an illusion. He would make small talk here and there, offering notes in the classes they shared that (name) might've missed or had a hard time in.

(Name) is polite. For the most part. Coming along with Tim to lunch, freely chatting with Stephanie and Cass. Something about him didn't sit right with any of the Bats. Every time they would ask about his last name, (name) would brush it off with a smile. 'I do not wish to make friends based on last names,' (name) would say.

But the curiosity got the better of the three after they realised that nobody seemed to know what (name)'s last name was.

And so, Cass, Stephanie and Tim find themselves in front of the Batcomputer one night. They start off easy, looking (name) up in the Academy's student files. Finding the new student, Tim's brows furrowed, looking over to the two girls on his left. Stephanie and Cass both looked just as confused as he was. Where's (name)'s last name?

Bruce walks into the cave, ready to work on some case, when he finds three of his kids obsessively searching for something on the Batcomputer. Across the screen was a face of a teenage boy, under it a name.

"What's going on?" Bruce asked, setting his hand on the back of the chair Tim was sitting on.

"He's a new student at the Academy," Tim explained, his eyes reading over something on the screen.

"Well, not anymore; he's been here for, like, a month now." Stephanie shrugged, clicking around to make (name)'s picture bigger.

"Whatever." Tim kept looking over the files. "He's weird, y'know?"

"What do you mean?" Bruce scanned over the files his children found, looking for any abnormality.

"Like, he never gives out his last name." Stephanie pointed towards (name)'s school file, letting Bruce see the empty spaces. "So we decided to look him up to find out why. And there's no mention of it. Like none."

"And there's no home address, no parents' names, no nothing," Cass murmured, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"It's like he doesn't really exist." Stephanie turned around to see Bruce's face. "But he is; I literally shared my lunch with him hours ago."

"That's… a little weird, I admit." Bruce nodded, squinting his eyes. "Is there anything else?"

"Well, he's making a name for himself on the track team," Cass added, her arms hugging her legs.

"Yeah, he's doing so well. Maxwell's trying to make people think he's on stimulants," Tim sighed, stretching his back.

"He's on the track team?" Bruce questioned, his eyes brushing over (name)'s limited information. "Isn't there some sort of race coming up?"

"Yeah, I think so." Stephanie shrugged, checking the school's website for any information. "There's one on Saturday."

"We should go then; support your friend," Bruce announced, deciding to mention it to the rest of the family during breakfast. "And try to find out more."

And so Tim, Cass and Stephanie came to school on Saturday accompanied by Bruce, Dick and Damian. The youngest Wayne being the only one clearly not happy to be there but not having much of a choice after his father's decision.

The crowd slowly formed on the square in front of the Academy, parents of runners talking with each other about their kids. The Batfamily stood to the side, watching the crowd, waiting to be alone on the sands.

They notice some people in the crowd pointing towards the roof of the school, confused and some worried. Tim looked to where they were pointing to see two people on the roof. Without their tech, none of the Batfamily could really see who they were or what they were doing. Brice looked around, wondering if they're on there to put up some decorations, when a blood-curdling scream filled the square. Bruce looked towards the two people on the roof, realising one of them is holding the other over the edge.

Somebody yelled to call an ambulance while the rest of the people on the square froze up, too afraid to move. They all watched in horror as one of the people let go of the other, their body falling onto the ground.

The blood spilt around the body of a teenager, staining the pavement with red. Nobody dared to move for a moment, waiting for the person on the ground to move.

Dick was the first one to move towards the body, telling other people to let him through as he's a police officer. He leaned over the body of the boy, trying to see his face. A part of him hoped it didn't belong to the student Bruce told him to look out for.

Much to his dismay, the face looked just like the one in the photo. He yelled towards Bruce to call for authorities. Dick straightened his back, trying to get the crowd to move away from the body.

The authorities arrive and the crowd is chased away from the square, forcing everyone to the track fields to wait for questioning.

Dick stayed with the police officers, going over what had happened. The rest of the family was forced to follow the crowd. Bruce looked over to Tim, who clearly tried to figure out what happened.

Everyone who came to school wasn't allowed to leave until they gave out their statements to the police. Hours had passed before Tim and his family were allowed to return to the manor.

Tim barely makes it through the front door, already heading towards the cave. He needed answers, and he needed them now. He pulled out police files, trying to find if they know who pushed (name) off the roof. That's when he found out that Maxwell is charged with murder.

Then he decided to find out where (name)'s body had been brought to, hoping to check over it himself. In case the police missed anything.

Bruce came around to the cave to check on his previous Robin, only to find him frantically typing something on the computer.

"Tim? What is it?" Bruce crossed his arms over his chest, stepping towards the screen.

"I can't find him." Tim barely blinked as he opened another tab, trying to search up his former classmate.

"You mean (name)?" Bruce's brows furrowed, his eyes looking over the screen.

"Yeah, there's nothing on him." Tim rubbed his eyes, trying to sharpen his vision. "It's like his body doesn't exist."

"We will look. Tonight," Bruce promises, his hand on Tim's arm.

Batman lays over the information they have on (name) along with a picture of him, asking her to keep a lookout. He, two Robins and Nightwing went out into the city, checking the coroner's office and funeral parlours. Anywhere where the body could be brought into.

"Oracle to the Bats," the group heard Barbara's voice through the comms. "I had a one hundred per cent match to his picture. (Name)'s on the east outskirts of Gotham."

They didn't waste any time, rushing to where Barbara spotted (name). They stood perched up on one of the roofs, looking out for the teenager.

"Isn't that him?" Robin asked, pointing towards someone standing under the street light.

Red Robin looked to where Damian had been pointing and froze. It truly was (name). His clothes still had blood on them and were torn in some spots from the fall. His face, however, was clean. He looked fine, smiling towards the Bats. Tim made a step towards the edge, ready to jump off to check on his classmate.

(Name) laughs at his reaction, waving. The group of vigilantes stand there, watching the teenager laugh and wave towards them. Then, without warning, (name) stops waving. He turns around and runs towards the shadows, his laugh running across the streets of Gotham.

The Bats jump off the roof, running after the teenager.

They spend the rest of the night looking for (name). They return in the early hours of the morning unsuccessful.

Tim tried to look him up on the Batcomputer, but there's no information regarding (name).

Almost as if he never existed to begin with.

dc taglist: @maaaahhhiii

[angelbaby-fics]

Safe Haven

Pairing: CG!Steve Harrington x Little!Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: my first stevie h. fic!! my wonderful ♡ anon inspired me not just to write for him but also to rewatch season 3 which i forgot how much i loved 💕 i wanna start writing for robin because even the little bit that she appears here was so fun to write tbh!! warning for an almost swearword lol but other than that i hope its super fluffy and that you guys enjoy!!

You didn't mind the days that Steve worked. Most days, you called up Dustin and the gang, or Nancy, or Eddie, or you just stayed home by yourself and kept busy with any number of hobbies and activities. Today was different though; lightning ripped through the skies of Hawkins, rain spitting down so hard it nearly drowned out the cracks of thunder that interrupted your every thought. You could feel the anxious regression creeping up on you, and although you'd normally be fine being in little mode unattended in the safety of your home, but with the storm outside turning the daylight black, home didn't feel so safe anymore. Before you could get too little and before the storm could get too heavy, you were grabbing your bag and pulling on your heaviest hoodie, tucking the laces into the sides of your shoes to avoid the stress of tying them as you set out on your journey to Starcourt Mall. 

Just the walk from your house to the covered bus stop had you soaked through to your shirt, and you shivered in the seat as the bus trundled down the slick streets towards the mall. You blinked your eyes, and repeatedly made fists and unfurled them, desperately trying anything to distract you from crying before you could make it to the back rooms of Scoops Ahoy. Normally you didn't like to bother Steve at work, no matter how many times he reassured you that you were always welcome there, but you felt this was rational option for you given the situation. 

When the bus pulled up to the front of the mall, you lined up with the other passengers before sprinting the gap between the bus and the covered entrance. Once inside the dry safety of the indoors, your body mindlessly guided you to Scoops, the illuminated sign shining like the sun you needed so desperately today. Despite the weather being anything but summery, it seemed like everyone in Hawkins was getting ice cream this afternoon, and with your fear of being a bother far stronger than your need for comfort right now, you opted to sit at an unoccupied table in the front corner of the shop, furthest away from the counter.

Opening your backpack, you pulled out your notebook and a gel pen, hoping to distract yourself until the crowds died down. You could hardly keep your attention on the page for more than 15 seconds, flicking your eyes up to the counter and hoping to catch Steve's sooner rather than later. Your prayers were answered as he handed a double chocolate cone the next woman in line, his gaze scanning the remaining customers just as you'd popped your head up to check on him for the fiftieth time. His eyes got wide when he saw your distraught face silently pleading for his attention, and he intended to give you just that. Steve gave you a reassuring nod before holding a finger up to the next customer in line, and then disappeared into the back room. Moments later, he returned with Robin, who took over cash register duty while Steve circled around the counter and speed-walked over to you.

"Honey bun, you doing alright?" He asked softly, already recognizing your fragile state and not bothering with pleasantries as he slid into the booth next to you. 

"Yeah," you nodded, "just wanted to see you, that's all."

"Are you sure? Is there anything I can do to help you?" Steve took one of your hands in his .

"No, its okay." You lied. "You can go back to work, I'm alright just sitting here."

Steve saw through you instantly. He knew exactly what you were feeling and exactly what you were needing now. He looked up at Robin, capably handling the next customers in line, and stood up with your hand still in his. 

"Yeah, no, that's bull, come on baby." He started to tug at your hand.

Not wanting to argue, nor to be left without the warmth of Steve's grip, you gathered your things and stood up with him, letting yourself be led to the back room of Scoops Ahoy. 

You'd never been back here before, and although you didn't really have any expectations to begin with, they certainly weren't exceeded. The employees only break area was bleak and grey, a single table in the center of the room, a big industrial sink, several humming freezers and fridges, and wiry metal shelves were the only things there; but it was quiet, and it was unoccupied. Steve brought you over to sit in at the table in a cold metal chair, digging through your bag and setting out all of your pens in a colorful array, and opened your notebook to a fresh page. Then, he went over to one of the fridges and pulled out a cold water bottle, as well as a bottle of apple juice, and he set them both on the table as well. Finally, he crouched next to you, taking your chin softly in his hand. 

"I gotta go back to work now, okay baby? But I'll be back before you know it."

You nodded, and Steve continued speaking to you.

"We close at 8:00pm." Steve grabbed one of your gel pens and drew a little picture on the corner of the notebook page. "So when the clock looks like that, we can go back home and cuddle all night long. You can even help me lock up the shop if you want, how's that sound baby?"

"Okay dada," you whispered, and Steve pressed a soft kiss to the tip of your nose.

"That's my little bumblebee. I'll just be through that window right there if you need me for anything at all."

And with one more kiss, Steve was back to work. After a few more reassuring glances from him through the partition window, you finally felt at ease enough to start drawing in your notebook, now comfortable passing the time until Steve was off work. With the tension finally released from your anxious body, you lost yourself in your art, coloring little animals, stars and planets, flowers, bugs, and ice cream cones. Before you knew it, you heard Steve's voice call out to the customers still enjoying a late evening treat.

"Alright everybody, Scoops Ahoy is officially closed. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!"

Sure enough, the clock on the wall matched the picture Steve had drawn. Your attention was drawn to the door as Robin walked into the back room, grabbing her bag and a soda from the fridge. 

"See ya, kiddo!" She said, flashing a peace sign at you as she went back out to the front of the store, waving to Steve as she exited. "Thanks for closing up."

Steve waved back as Robin mingled into the crowd of shoppers all on their own way back home, then turned to you. 

"I just gotta clean up a few things before we go," he said, leaning through the window, "but before I do, may I take your order?"

You grinned widely before turning back to your notebook, scribbling out a drawing of your favorite ice cream flavor absolutely covered in toppings. You ripped out the page and handed it to Steve.

"Coming right up baby!"

You happily munched on your ice cream while Steve closed up boxes of toppings and stacked them on the shelves. When the back room was clean, he helped you put your pens away and carried your backpack and ice cream out to the front of the store so you could stay close to him while he wiped off each of the tables, mopped the floors, and closed out the cash register. Finally, Steve helped you throw away the trash from your ice cream, hoisted your backpack onto his shoulder, and held your hand as you slid out from the booth. You walked together to the front of the store, where Steve stopped and turned to you. 

"Would you like to do the honors, honey bun?" He asked, motioning towards the big light switch that controlled the fancy neon sign in the entranceway. 

You nodded, reaching up on your tiptoes to flip the switch, and suddenly the empty mall became a lot darker around you. Steve noticed you tense up and immediately, his hand was back in yours. 

"Don't worry baby. I've got you. You're safe with me." He said, holding you tight as he led you to the garage, and not intending to let go of you for a very long time. 

[okamirayne]

Hiii!

I've been meaning to write for a long time, to be honest, but, first of all, I'm shy (._.) and, as I've previously mentioned, I'm extremely concerned that it will be a bother. And secondly, I wanted to provide a substantial update on our work.

Today I can kind of give you one since we just published the 10th chapter of the translation! Woo-hoo! It was a long (but extremely exciting) journey. Took longer than I would have preferred, but boring adult jobs and deteriorating mental health were quite the obstacles. We continue the work though since we enjoy it quite a lot and currently, it's personally my favourite hobby. It's so much fun (especially translating the curses, you have no idea. Ukrainian obscenities are much more flowery and diverse than the English ones (sorry but it's the reality xD). We have nothing on Italians, though), I wish I could've expressed it properly, but I'm unfortunately not a very eloquent person (which is hilarious since currently, I'm writing a work of my own. Oh the irony).

The thing is that Ukrainian is not the first language of anyone on our team (We have a team, can you imagine? I'm the translator, and we also have two editors and two beta-readers. Bonkers, but very cool, in my opinion). I know it sounds weird, but all of us are from Eastern Ukraine and it was russified quite intensely for the last (oh, God) 200 years of something. I'm not gonna give you a boring and unnecessary lecture on the history of Ukraine, but the gist is that the Ukrainian language was prohibited more the 130 times. The russian empire first, then the USSR second tried to eradicate it as hard as they could. They failed, thankfully, but the consequences are still there and we still try to undo the damage. Since the beginning of the war in the East and then the full-scale invasion we kind of try to ukrainify (is this a word? I think not, but maybe it should be) everything that is possible and not. So if before 2022 I briefly considered an idea to translate your amazing work to russian (my first language) then after the invasion started I decided to not contribute to the problem of the oppression of the Ukrainian language in Ukraine. That's why I translate your work into Ukrainian instead (as a matter of fact, many fanfiction authors here deleted their works in russian and translated them into Ukrainian).

I know it may raise some concerns that no one in our team is a native Ukrainian speaker, but worry not: we are kinda good ;) And also that is partly the reason why the team grew to become so big.

I really don't know why you may be interested in all of this but I kinda wanted to share. Hope you don't mind too much.

Now to the exciting part. Most of our friends LOVE your work. Some of them (the ones who know English) even read the source material — not the translation — that's how intrigued they were (and completely in love, but you didn't hear it from me). So you can better understand the impact your work has, some facts: a couple of people, who didn't even read/watch Naruto (like, ever), are so enamored that they are considering actually getting acquainted with the source material. One girl started rewatching the whole thing even though it's not her preferred fandom choice. Almost all of the guys (who NEVER read fanfiction because they — the guys I mean — are boring human beings) in our friend group read at least a couple of chapters and loved your writing a ton. I hope this will lift your spirits at least for a bit :3

I will try to keep you updated on our progress, but, to be honest, I don't really know when it is appropriate to write to you. The only thing I can say for sure is that I'm dreading the appearance of the Hyuga headbutt since I already wrack my brain on how to translate it properly xD

Sending you all the love, have a great day~

Hello, dearest @demonofkarma!

Thank you for your patience as I finally respond to this incredible message. Let me start by reassuring you that it is never, nor shall it ever be, a bother to hear from you.  It's such a pleasure to receive your message.  Thank you for braving your shyness. I know that’s not always easy. As an extremely introverted person myself, I get it. Please know my goal will always be to set you at ease whenever you choose to reach out.💜

I’ve got to say, it took some time to scrape together the scattered pieces of my mind-blown brain after reading your message. First, I had to process the fact that you took the time out of your busy life to paint me such a vivid picture of the incredible activities going on behind the scenes of your translation effort. Reading about your brilliant cast of real-life characters involved in this translation project honest to gods set me back on my heels…

The lengths you’ve all gone to…during such a painful, heavy, and demanding chapter in your country’s story…that isn't lost on me....even though I'm lost for appropriate words. Just the thought of all the time you guys have invested, the love, the attention to detail, and the deeply moving allegiance you’ve sworn to the Ukrainian language, especially in light of the horrific war and the events that pre-dated it; I appreciate the historical context you provided.  Holy hell, of course, of course you’d want to preserve the language and revive it…gosh, the fact that you wield so many languages is beyond impressive. I struggle enough with just my bloody native tongue (American pronunciations and spelling vs. British drive me nuts at times - which is crying-bitch-level weak compared to the brilliance of translators and those who cross language barriers in so many forms, whether written or spoken)! Huge respect to you and your fabulous team and to the poignant story behind your translation.  Honestly, I’m quite taken aback by what you've shared with me. 💜

I know it may raise some concerns that no one in our team is a native Ukrainian speaker, but worry not: we are kinda good ;) And also that is partly the reason why the team grew to become so big.  I really don't know why you may be interested in all of this but I kinda wanted to share. Hope you don't mind too much.

Please believe me when I tell you that I’m not concerned in the slightest, as this is clearly something you feel very passionately about. That passion, combined with your team’s efforts, leave me in no doubt you guys know exactly what you’re doing – I’m just so bloody honoured you’d dedicate that beautiful effort to the BtB story. That’s out of this world. Thank you.  God, it takes on a whole new dimension knowing what you’ve invested in it and WHY. Thank you for giving me a window into your world.  For explaining the significance, the sentiment, and the super amazing players involved behind the scenes – please extend my thanks. I'm pretty lost for words over here…speaking of which…

It's so much fun (especially translating the curses, you have no idea. Ukrainian obscenities are much more flowery and diverse than the English ones (sorry but it's the reality xD). We have nothing on Italians, though),

This made me laugh out loud.  I don’t doubt it for second, my dear. As for the Italians. They've got us all beat. Doesn't help that they combine insults with emphatic gesticulations. Their hands communicate their meaning faster than Google Translate ever could. It's a beautiful thing. 🤣

Now to the exciting part. Most of our friends LOVE your work. Some of them (the ones who know English) even read the source material — not the translation — that's how intrigued they were (and completely in love, but you didn't hear it from me).

…I don’t have words to express what’s going on behind my ribs whilst reading this…

So you can better understand the impact your work has, some facts: a couple of people, who didn't even read/watch Naruto (like, ever), are so enamored that they are considering actually getting acquainted with the source material. One girl started rewatching the whole thing even though it's not her preferred fandom choice. Almost all of the guys (who NEVER read fanfiction because they — the guys I mean — are boring human beings) in our friend group read at least a couple of chapters and loved your writing a ton

Coherence has left the chat; transcendental joy has entered. I’m pretty sure I could levitate into restricted airspace, get shot down, and not feel a goddamn thing because I’m arse-over-tits high on the good feels. I’m so bloody grateful, I can’t even begin to tell you.

Thank you for sharing this. You said you hoped this would lift my spirits? Sweetheart – your mission has been accomplished. You get a distinction award.

I will try to keep you updated on our progress, but, to be honest, I don't really know when it is appropriate to write to you. The only thing I can say for sure is that I'm dreading the appearance of the Hyuga headbutt since I already wrack my brain on how to translate it properly xD

Ah, my lovely. You can write to me whenever you wish or are able to, in your own time. There’s absolutely no pressure from my end, just a whole lotta love and appreciation. I will be re-reading this message and keeping it close – not being figurative, I print and keep them. As for translating the Hyūga Headbutt…Godspeed, my dear. 😅I have no powers in the realm of translation and can only look on in amazement and admiration at those who have been gifted with that kind of word-alchemy. Massive respect to you and your team.

This response doesn’t do justice to how profoundly touched I was by your message.  I hope you can trust me when I tell you that I was genuinely moved. Again, I’m not being figurative. Things got rearranged inside me. You took me to a higher altitude, had me observing the significance of why my writer’s heart continues to beat, especially in those moments when I’m afraid it’s flatlined. This is the best defibrillating experience...uh,I appreciate that’s a pretty fucked up metaphor, but it’s visceral and raw…as a lot of life-giving blessings are. I send you my whole-hearted thanks. 💗🤗💗

You’d mentioned deteriorating mental health…I’m not certain if you were referring to yourself explicitly, certain members in your team, or perhaps all of you, collectively. Whatever the case may be here, please know I’m wishing whoever is suffering the kind of wholesome recovery that’s needed to restore both mind and spirit. 💗

You also mentioned that you are writing a work of your own and to this I say, may the muses light upon your shoulders and the wellspring of creativity and inspiration runneth over!!

Stay safe, sweetheart.

Every blessing and every thanks, with much love to follow. 💜🫶🏼💜

[webheadedhero]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥bc I know you have plenty of opinions (jk ily)

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

Under a read more cause i ranted

🔥I've seen this said before but for me, if I'm gonna write with someone consistently, I'm gonna be your friend. I'm not someone who enjoys just having a partner who's an automatic reply machine. I enjoy getting to know people, I like talking about what's going on with my friends/writing partners. making friends with my partners on here is fun. some people over the years are really impersonal and that's honestly too bad. i like feeling comfortable with someone where i can run ideas by them or send them things that make me think of their muse or our dynamic.

🔥i think that the rpc should also keep in mind that this is not a serious thing. this is a fun and sometimes silly hobby and that is okay. crossovers can be wild and fun, and so can au's and verses that are kinda out there. if it brings you and your partner joy and you're having fun exploring some crazy scenario then who cares? don't look down on someone or think you're better than someone else because you don't dabble in that stuff. people are allowed to have fun with this. at the end of the day, this is playing barbies with our fictional characters.

🔥to kinda go back to what i was saying in the first one, i think people should really not be afraid to reach out to people more. i get it, it can be intimidating. and people have had bad interactions with others in the past, i know i definitely have. but i personally enjoy when i'm writing with someone who i know doesn't see me as that peter blog. reach out to your followers and your friends, let them know you care. obviously i'm not saying send a love letter every day but checking in once and a while is nice. this is a social hobby and a collaborative one at that. and if someone is making you feel bad simply for talking to them then...they really aren't worth keeping around.

🔥 okay time to mix it up now and talk about marvel stuff but mcu spider-man is not as bad as people make it out. i know it's popular to dunk on them and make the iRoN bOy JuNiOr claim but, i dunno man. homecoming was great for me. the iron man stuff honestly doesn't bother me that much cause like it or not, iron man is the central character for that era of the mcu. and we had already had two phases of mcu movies by the time peter was introduced, where they didn't even think they'd get the rights to him too. so, for having to shoehorn in peter at the last second? i thought it was fine. also the fact that homecoming has such a different feel to it than the other mcu movies and spider-man movies, for that matter. it doesn't feel like a superhero movie, it feels like a john hughes movie. which is a really cool take on a spider-man movie. it's actually the only mcu spider-man movie i can rewatch and still enjoy. i also think it's a really dumb critique to say that peter is getting saved by iron man in the movie over and over when....that's the point bro. that's peter's arc. at the end of the movie he saves the day, saves the villain, all with his crappy homemade suit, web-shooters, and gadgets. the whole point is that he doesn't need iron man to function, he's capable on his own. whether or not the sequels do as good of a job as that is a different matter, but if i just look at homecoming by itself? solid.

🔥which brings me to my next point, into the spider-verse is the best spider-man movie and that's a fact. there's more passion put into a single scene of that movie than of all the other live action spider-man movies combined. the artwork, the sound design & soundtrack, the coloring, all fantastic and give it such a unique look and feel. it's got so much personality in it too which is just so refreshing. the majority of the mcu movies have zero personality to them. they're shot in such a static way and later on they all have this just ugly, grey color to all of them. there's a few exceptions where some have personality to them like Black Panther, Doctor Strange (which i didn't think was good but i can't deny it had some unique camera work to it), Homecoming, but a lot of them are just very...i dunno...dull? i could honestly just talk about the artwork for ITSV and that'd be enough. also miles in ITSV is a huge improvement on his comic book counterpart. the "what's up danger" scene is my favorite superhero movie scene of all time, and it's not even close. people were quick to write off the movie cause it's a cArToOn but...still the best spider-man movie. or they write it off cause there's not a hot british guy playing peter, i dunno. also the movie is genuinely funny. there's moments that still make me laugh. i can barely watch some mcu movies without cringing from some of the jokes (especially if it's a wh*don one) it's fantastic. also the artwork and sound design? even better in the sequel. though i do like the first movie overall more, the art and sound in the sequel is even better. giving each universe it's own art style and sound is so good.

[feuqueerfire]

Utsukushii Kare (S1, S2, Movie) Live Blogging

I can't believe I'm finally, finally, finally getting around to watching Season 2 and the movie (+ rewatching season 1).

I knew I liked this show well enough and the characters have stayed with me since watching it in 2022 but I didn't realize that Utsukushii Kare is pretty special because it's actually the very first live blogging post I did on this blog. It was February 2022 and now it's 2+ years later March 2024. Before then, I'd maybe tweet a thread of me watching but the tweets would be sparse because I didn't wanna spam people. I think I got the idea because I was writing so many Bad Buddy thoughts (also in Jan-Feb 2022) on my show tracking spreadsheet and that wasn't sustainable lol

Anyway, looking at these is making me remember that I'd been looking forward to season 2 from when I finished watching (from my live blogging ending thoughts) and had anticipated the release of it for months and months. Even more ridiculously, in my show tracking spreadsheet, the only thing I wrote for this show was a link to my live blogging and "If there was a sequel, I'd watch" bruh that's all I had to say and yet I'm finally watching the sequel 2 years later (while the sequel has been out for a year).

Anyway, enough chatter, I think I'm just delaying watching this show because I like season 1 and the characters so much and I'm just... nervous about my expectations.

Utsukushii Kare: Season 1

Probably won't be writing much because I already did the whole live blogging for this.

Also, it's weird that I haven't rewatched this? Why do I remember it so vividly if I haven't rewatched? I occasionally watch a bunch of tiktoks for the show and sometimes people mention it in podcasts, so maybe that's why? I was thinking maybe I'd watched reaction videos but nah, apparently I'd only watched that for 1 account back in April 2022. Once again, I continue to ramble instead of pressing play

Ep 1 (Mar 23)

Watched like 12 minutes before falling asleep

Ah, the fondness is coming back

Ep 2 (Mar 23)

Oh, the group going to Hira's house and the bike riding scene is here? in my head it was later

And the bike riding continues to be an incredible scene

Ep 3 (Apr 17)

Uhhh, I'm back after almost a month lol I think I wanted something much easier without complex dynamics at the time, so I'd watched Destiny Seeker instead

Oh, I'd forgotten about this tense scene after the contest

ahh the masturbation thing lolol

It bothers me that Kiyoi was nice again to those bully boys like why make good with them again? And when you're graduating no less?

that sudden kiss + pushing him hard enough that he falls to the ground + saying "see you again" before leaving really is just terrible and confusing lol

Ah, Hira really was always putting himself down and putting Kiyoi in a pedastal in these episodes + I remembered when somebody pointed out that in Hira's POV, there are many shots where Kiyoi is on elevated ground or taller/higher than Hira, so I noticed a lot of that in this ep

Ep 4 (Apr 17)

ack, the immediate 'stalker' to someone who ppl think is his fan is so T.T

"I want to kneel down at your feet right now" kills me every time

Koyoi's inability to communicate and Hira's idealized view of him are both so just . insane

ahh Kiyoi's POV from next ep

the episode starting with Hira saying "For several insipid years, all I did was grow up." while Kiyoi ends the episode with the same sentence

Ep 5 (Apr 17)

seeing Kiyoi lose his mind over Hira is so cathartic

ough, i forgot this hug that Kiyoi sees

I disliked the other guy more when I first watched it than I do now

Ep 6 (Apr 18)

Oops, went almost the whole day without watching anything

finger sucking scene

Ouch

the conversation at the school is just so good man, like ouch but hopeful

hehe cute biking

Overall:

Ahh, idek why I wasn't Gripped by this rewatch, like I like the characters and dynamics but it wasn't keeping my attention as much, maybe because it's a rewatch? Maybe my original rating of 6.5 was correct and I shouldn't have bumped it up to 7 but who knows, maybe I'll be reintroduced to the brainworms after watching Season 2 because I found ep 6 really engaging and was into it and S2 + movie will have new, unfamiliar stories for me.

Season 2

Ep 1 (Apr 18)

How soon after S1 is this season starting?

akkkk "Are you angry?" "Why?" "Last night I was too persistent" alkdjfasd;lkf

It's weird to realize that like... I'm older than them. I was several years older than them when they were in high school and now I'm probably 1-2 years older than them because Hira said graduation is approaching but it's weird still idk

not Mr. Suspicious lmfaoo

Hira kneeling and crawling around really is just a lot

it's so funny how Hira trembles in Kiyoi's presence because he's apparently standing too close, meanwhile we know for a fact that they canonically fuck

Hira's persistent fear that Kiyoi might die ?!

they're both so constipated in different ways, I'm dying like Hira's extreme lack of confidence about his looks and sense of self vs Kiyoi obviously being in love with him and wanting to reassure him but also not being able to compliment him truthfully and sincerely

Kiyoi's every sentence is a trap lmfao

omg I was so distracted by her, she's gorgeous and I love the outfit and jewelry

Kiyoi seething with jealousy ahh

lolol "today we're gonna do it"

oh my goddd what a good episode, I was giggling and dying and so engaged, I'm glad I love it so far because I was kinda nervous after not being as enamoured by S1

Ep 2 (Apr 19)

ah, i'm clutching my heart, flashback to the scene of when Hira taught Kiyoi about the tea olives or whatever and Kiyoi just desperately wanted Hira to say he likes him

return of Suspicious-kun plss

Is the other guy who's there for Anna gonna be significant? Either as an Anna s/o as well or as a Kiyoi hater maybe?

does Kiyoi want their love life to be more exciting?

aksldfj why are each of them so annoying like Koyoma's being like yeah Hira doesn't shut the fuck up about you and your drama at school while Kiyoi's like "Is Koyoma saying he sees a side of Hira I don't see? Is he trying to assert dominance?" like girl both hira and him are just dumbasses god bless

Koyoma on Kiyoi's ass for freeloading off of Hira and letting Hira do all the housework while he just pursues his acting or whatever ohh

pls Hira treating this shitty food as if it's from Olympus

Ah, Hira joining the photography competition at Kiyoi's encouragement (though the pressure would make me buckle)

Ep 3 (Apr 19)

Hira not making it to the next round of the competition but Kiyoi still being supportive, I needed to see this rn tbh

oh my god this is so sad man, they're literally always just on different lines of thinking because Kiyoi wants to be treated as an equal in the relationship while Hira thinks it would be an insult to think of himself as ever reaching Kiyoi's status

but it's so sad the way Kiyoi wants to obviously be known as Hira's bf (even though they can't) and the way he's hurting knowing that Hira wants Kiyoi and his parents to be completely separate owwww

omg? Hira saying I don't want to understand you? fucked up fr

Their relationship is often somewhat tragic because of their dynamic and how they see themselves and the fact that what they want from the relationship is different but this ep is so sad man

Ep 4 (Apr 19)

ah, good thing Kiyoi came back because they only have 1 episode of 23 mins left and i don't want the ending to be rushed lol

sorry accidentally got the ick when Kiyoi came and ordered Hira to get ginger ale in front of everybody even though ik it's like Dynamics but still why in front of dumbass bullies smhh

Hira not liking Kiyoi saying it's fine if he doesn't get a job after uni bc he can take care of them makes sense but then smiling happily when Kiyoi says "fine, then work like a workhorse and if you mess anything up for me I'll throw you away" is sooooo

huh? Why Hira didn't submit anything?

oh it's a different thing that Hira didn't submit for? Because he did indeed submit for the contest

woah, gasped at the fact that Hira is kneeling but at eye-level/slight higher than Kiyoi instead of lowering himself as much as possible

Hira being fed chocolate by Kiyoi, ah

great, delightful

Overall:

This season is about Hira and Kiyoi's relationship. They didn't become boring after getting together, they didn't magically end up being a perfect happy well-adjusted couple after getting together, nor were there random issues thrown just because; the struggles and hurdles are true to their characters and dynamics.

I was a bit afraid that I'd be meh about it because I was like fine but not Hooked on the S1 rewatch but the S2 was great, for real. I liked the themes and dynamics it explored and their character + relationship development and progression. I also smiled a lot and lost my mind a little at certain moments.

Strong writing, strong characters, strong acting, what a relief.

Rating: 7/10

Movie: Eternal

No clue what the movie is about actually, though there are a few gifsets/moments that I've seen that didn't appear in the series, so much be from here. + I saw one comment saying that Anna and Noguchi are supposed to be there more in the movie. oh also actually?? a kidnapping plot?? i heard it mentioned in a podcast i think

omg they're each recounting how they met the other to their own mentors

not the shrine ?!?! omg

I really don't know how to feel about Anna's fan like do we need to kill him or what?

what does Hira mean by him and Kiyoi drifting apart?

hah the divorce thing is here, I loved the gifset when I saw it and have had it in my likes for Months, gonna finally be able to reblog it

i think i saw a gifset or clip in this bathtub scene and I'm a great enjoyer of people discussing their desire for dubcon/cnc roleplay

Idk if I hate that I keep skipping all their makeouts/allusion to sex scenes like aghhh

I've also seen this part about hira apologizing for not having same free time as Kiyoi and Kiyoi grabbing his face in his hand to say stop apologizing, you've tried your best. i like it a lot

wait are Anna and Noguchi dating? I wanna know who the person Anna was talking about who has her heart but they can rarely meet because they're in the same industry. and it'd have the parallel of Hira wanting to photograph Kiyoi while Noguchi gets to photograph Anna

Noguchi used to be a scenario photographer?

ah, Hira didn't show up to the shoot with Noguchi and Kiyoi

pls why are they both obsessed with this award, he doesn't even have regular professional photography experience c'mon girls

oh, Anna's bf is some random actor from another company.

her fan is being... fine for now.

Aw, Anna

dang, they're bringing Anna to live with Hira's cousin

So does the aunt know that Hira and Kiyoi are like a thing or does she still think their fan/friend lol

Hira saying only Kiyoi is allowed to call him creepy and such because he's special + Kiyoi being like "he's creepy right?" Anna: "yeah" Kiyoi: Hey!

Ouch, yeah Hira saying he doesn't know what to shoot is crazy

Oof, Hira and Anna dating scandal

It must be so funny if you're watching this without knowing about EA celebrity dating culture (though even in SK, actors can date) and being like ? why is this a scandal ?

but i'm unexpectedly getting a celebrity-centric BL without seeking it out, which is great, esp bc when I seek it out I don't tend to find too many which actually give me what I want

random het sob story in the middle of my Utsukushii Kare but I like Anna so I'll allow it for like... 2 minutes

Ah, the kidnapping lol

oh it really is the Anna fan fuckhead aghhh how terrible, he's been off since the start

pls saviour Hira

Hira gets to photograph Kiyoi professionally yay

deciding to have one subject as your photo subject is crazy if you wanna be a professional but alright I'll buy into it

ah, conversation about beauty and age

gorgeous ending

Overall:

Great, fun, though not as emotionally invested as Season 2 because they're in a better place in their relationship in this movie (even if it's not necessarily Perfect). It was interesting to have new people in their lives like Anna and Noguchi and how their stories influenced them. I'm happy with where we're leaving off the characters after ~6h of show/movie.

Rating: 6.5/10

[maochira]

Working at Blue Lock/father figure!Ego introduction

Tags: gn!reader, overworker and overachiever!reader, reader is a graphic designer, artist and assistant at Blue Lock

A/N: I want to make this a series so feel free to request more for father figure!Ego!! A part two to this will come soon as well! Also, this originally goes for one of my Blue Lock OCs, but I want to write it as an x reader for you guys to enjoy and because I prefer writing reader inserts💟

Working at Blue Lock is your first job ever, so ever since the beginning you swore to yourself that you'll put all of your power and passion into this. Especially because of how passionate Ego is about Blue Lock, you want to do your best to help him

Ego tends to give you very tight deadlines almost all the time. It's to be expected that at least once a day he'll tell you something like "You need to do this until tomorrow", or "I have this speech planned later, you need to do this until then", but nothing about that ever bothered you. It's on the opposite side, you've always been happy about getting tasks from him and feel good about being helpful to the project.

Most of your work consists of designing and drawing player icons and all the graphics Ego shows on his screens during his speeches. Every time he holds his speeches, you're in the back of the room to watch. To you, it's like seeing your work come to life, and that's always been your dream.

Ego often criticizes your work when you show him your ideas or sketches. But that's part of working as a graphic designer and artist. Even though his criticism tends to come off as harsh and cold, you're always happy to follow his wishes. And hey, in the end, it's always worth it because you get at least a little bit of praise. It's never much, usually just a simple "Good work, (Y/N)-chan" but for you, it's enough.

But due to your hard work, you pull at least one all-nighter a week. You'd still be able to finish all your tasks on time even if you got a healthy amount of sleep, but you always get so lost in your work that it keeps you awake all night. A part of that is passion, but another part is your overworking nature.

You rarely tell Ego and Anri about your all-nighters, you either act as if you got up extra early or just briefly mention something like "I couldn't fall asleep" and laugh it off. Ego never showed any concern over it, but Anri certainly did.

And for the first months, sleep deprivation didn't have that many effects on you. Surprisingly. Your passion kept you going. Well, until you pulled an all-nighter after a night with only 3 hours of sleep. Even caffeine couldn't save you anymore. You really try to keep your eyes open, but they get so heavy that they just close on their own and you end up falling asleep at your desk.

In the meantime, Ego is rewatching recordings of Blue Lock matches, until he sees you asleep at your desk. His first instinct is to wake you up and yell at you to continue your work, but he's so hesitant about it, he changes his mind after second thought. He remembers how you've been working extra hard lately and knows your current task isn't that urgent, so he simply lets you sleep.

But when you wake up, a rush of panic runs through your body. You immediately look up at your computer which has gone into sleep mode by now. You turn around to see Ego, still sitting on his chair.

"You finally woke up, huh?" His voice doesn't give off any particular emotion, but you automatically think he's mad at you for falling asleep during your work hours.

You open your mouth to apologize, but your mind is still a bit fuzzy and not properly awake yet. Before any words actually get out, Ego continues: "It was about time you got some proper sleep."

"Sorry, I've been-"

"No need to apologize," Ego interrupts you, "Just don't let this happen again."

"I won't, I promise." You answer before turning your computer back on, ready to finish whatever you were working on before you fell asleep.

"You really need to take better care of yourself." Ego tells you in a stern voice. "Get more sleep and pay attention to your health. I don't want you to get sick."

"Oh?" You turn around to face his direction. What he said makes you laugh a little. "Aren't you the one with eyebags who only eats instant noodles?"

Ego is slightly taken aback by your response and for a moment he struggles to find an answer. "Are you talking back to me?" Is the only thing he manages to come up with.

"I wouldn't call it talking back," you answer as you turn your head back to your computer, "I'm just surprised why you'd care more about me than taking care of yourself."

And with this, you've got yourself your own personal Ego speech.

"Listen, (Y/N)-chan. I 'care' for you in a way an employer cares for one of his workers. Because that's what you and I are. I can't have you getting sick or breaking down because you exhaust yourself too much. That would mean I would have to look for a temporary replacement which would cost time and money. Plus, your work is great even under these conditions and I doubt I'd find anyone else who's as passionate about this as you are. But even with that, I don't want you to exhaust yourself this much again. It's true that I appreciate your hard work, but with your hard work comes the need of taking care of yourself. Understood?"

Halfway through his speech, you turned back to look at him again. His expression and tone are not much different from how he usually is, but what he says still surprises you in some way. You and Ego never had a deeper conversation on anything, but this is starting to pick up your curiosity, so you decide to continue.

"That still doesn't explain why you'd tell me to take better care of myself when you uhm, you know."

"Leading Blue Lock comes with its sacrifices." Ego responds, "If I'll lose sleep over it, I'm willing to sacrifice that. But I'm not willing to let you sacrifice your health."

"So you're worried about me?"

Ego lets out a short frustrated sigh. "As I already said, I care for you in a way an employer cares for their worker. You're not much more than a tool to help my dream come alive."

You only nod in response and return to your work. You want to continue this conversation, but Ego's frustrated sigh is a sign to stop.

Even though what Ego said could definitely hurt someone's feelings, especially because of his stern tone, just him mentioning he cares about you in some way makes you happy. Sure, to him you're not much more than a tool to achieve his dream, but that still means you have some sort of important role for him. Be it in an employer-worker way, you're just happy to be useful.

As you continue your given task, Ego finds himself unable to concentrate on his own work. He thinks of his own words he just said to you moments ago and they keep repeating in his head until he wonders if he even spoke the truth.

Sure, in theory, you're not much more than an employee to him. But something about seeing how you overworked yourself and even sacrificed a lot of sleep just for the tasks he's given you made him truly realize how hard you've been working ever since the beginning of Blue Lock. It awakened some sort of protectiveness over you inside of him.

And even when he's back to focusing on his work every now and then his gaze wanders over to you with slight concern. He can't help but ask himself: Is this the kind of protectiveness a father feels about their child?

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

not jealous | jake sim

summary: jake sim is not a jealous person. at least that's what he tells himself. so why does he find himself going through your phone when a certain "bluejay park" decides to text you?

pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. mentions of jay park]

genre: angst, fluff 

warnings: angst, cursing (very minimal), one slightly suggestive sentence, jake being cute, some more angst lol, slightly cheesy bc jake’s just too cute ugh

wc: 3.8k

a/n: ok i loved writing this, which is why i went on to almost 4k words LOL oops. but anyways, i love jake a little too much and this type of scenario has been running around in my head for a while now so i decided to put it into words. also i may have created this blog just so i could post this somewhere LMAO anyways yeah this was my first fic so hope you guys enjoyyyy <3

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

At least that's what he tells himself. To be fair, in his past relationships, he never showed any jealously. Then again, he doesn't know if he can call those relationships, "relationships". Does a fifth grade relationship with a girl who he was once dared to kiss during a game of Truth or Dare in the basement of a classmate's house during their 11th birthday party count? He doesn't remember being jealous when the same girl was later dared to kiss his classmate, Sunghoon. (Funny enough, that's how the two boys came to be best friends 'til this day, but that's a story for another time.) 

But really, Jake doesn't think jealously is one of his traits, even if he's now almost 20 years old without any experience with love other than his current relationship with you and that short-lived romance in the fifth grade. (What was her name again? Jake would have to ask Sunghoon later.)

So he doesn't know what clicked in that brain of his that lead him to this current situation he was in. He doesn't know why he felt a little spark of anger in him when your phone, which you left right next to him on the couch while you went to take a shower, kept buzzing with texts from "bluejay park". He doesn't know why he couldn't kept his eyes distracted from the messages, although your phone was constantly lighting up because whatever it was Jay had to say to you, he would not shut up about it. He doesn't know why he questioned what your relationship with Jay was for a split second.

In fact, you're close with all of Jake's friends. That's one of his favorite things about you, you get along so well with all his friends you might as well replace Jake himself in the friend group. So he doesn't know what tells him to take a little glance at your phone—at the messages.

But he finds himself doing it anyways.

Hearing that the water in the shower was still running (you were always the type to take long showers), he quickly grabs your phone and scrolls through the lock screen just to find that he couldn't even read the messages since you had your notifications set so no one could read them unless the phone was unlocked (darn you and your settings!) Thankfully, Jake knew your passcode––and you knew his too––or he thought he did. Until the iPhone vibrated, telling him the passcode was wrong.

He must've entered it too fast or something. So he tries again.

And again.

And again.

Until the iPhone switches its screen to say: "iPhone is disabled. Try again in 5 minutes."

There's no way. You never change your password. And even if you did, you would tell him—you two even had each other's fingerprints saved into each other's phones in the past (you know, before the world decided that Apple's home button was too lame and decided to just completely get rid of it). If there was an option to save multiple faces for Face ID, you two would be that couple that saved each others faces in your own phones.

That being said, Jake sat there, your phone in hand, frozen. Why was your phone locked? Why was Jay texting you 10 texts per second? Why did he feel guilty about this entire situation?

He hears the shower switch off and in that moment, he swears he feels his heart beat just a little faster. He tells himself there's no way you'll be out before the 5 minutes are up. You followed a really meticulous skincare routine (one that Jake memorized by now) that took an extra 15 minutes of your time after each shower.

"Hey Jake?" Your voice calls out from the tiny bathroom door crack that you left open before you hopped in the shower, "Is my phone out there? Do you mind bringing it to me?"

Fuck.

Jake shifts on the couch. Taps his foot on the ground. Returns your phone to its original spot. Clears his throat.

"Don't you want to get dressed first?" he calls back, quite timidly.

He can hear you stop moving around in the bathroom. Probably telling yourself what an odd response that was. To be fair, it was an odd question, considering the fact that you two have been together for so long, it’s not like he hasn’t seen you undressed before...intentionally or not. 

Next thing he knows, the steam is rolling out of the bathroom door and you're stepping out in your towel, eyebrows raised.

"If you didn't want to get up from the couch, you could've just said so, you lazy butt," you smirk at him as you walk towards him and the couch, leaving a faint trail of water drops behind you. Jake's eyes follow your figure as you go to grab your phone and lift the screen towards yourself.

That's when he freezes. You do too.

You cock your head, as if asking yourself why it was disabled. He can hear the gears in your head turning.

"Jake, did you try to unlock my phone?"

He runs through all the possible excuses he could blurt out. Come on Jake, think of something! But he knows he can't lie to you.

Too many beats of silence pass by.

"Maybe," he finally says—or more like murmurs. He looks up to you like a child looking up at their mom, who just them caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. To his surprise, you don't show any hint of anger. A flash of confusion—and is that worry he sees?—crosses your face for a split second before you shrug and turn towards your room to change, dropping the subject. It was natural for you two to use each other's phones anyways. So then why did you have that look of worry?

Jake knows you well, a little too well. But that's what you love about him. He can easily read all your emotions. One of the many things he picked up from dating you for almost two years now. But why would you care if he tried to get into your phone? Why would that worry you? All the possibilities run through head and his own worry begins to increase. He trusts you. He does.

So then why does the thought bother him throughout the entire day? Why does he bring it up during dinner later that night, when you're both cuddled on your sofa, slurping take-out ramen while rewatching your favorite k-drama under the thick blanket that you always keep in your living room for nights like these?

"Huh? Of course I've heard from Jay today, we had that conversation about that stupid meme you boys kept laughing about in the groupchat we're all in, didn't we?" You answer him when he asks if you've heard from Jay lately. You sit up from your warm spot under Jake's arm to put your empty bowl on the coffee table in front of you. When you lean back, you look up at him,

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's nothing, just wondering," he says, avoiding your eyes by keeping his own trained on the series currently playing on your TV. This would be your third time rewatching this series together. He would never complain to you though, he knows how much you love it and if he were being honest, he was secretly attached to the characters—not that he would ever tell you, he would never hear the end of it from you and the boys.

"You're being weird. Just tell me, or did you forget that I can practically read your mind," you say with a giggle and shove to his side, the one you were currently warmly cuddled into. Jake wasn't the only one who learned how to read emotions; you could read him just as well as he could read you. And like you, that's one of the many things he loved about you. But maybe not in this case.

He toyed around with the contents inside his ramen bowl with his chopsticks.

"I just..." God, how does he word this? Why was he having trouble explaining it? You were the easiest person to talk to. To him, you were the only person he could tell everything to.

"Jaywastextingyouabunchearlier," he blurts out quickly, but not quickly enough for you to miss it.

He feels you shift under his arm. He feels the air in the room shift. Tension.

"What?" Now you're sitting upright, legs criss-crossed in front of you on the couch but turned, so your body is completely facing him. He mirrors you, sitting up to put his ramen bowl next to yours on the surface, but he stays facing the TV.

"Your phone kept going off because of him when you were showering," he says with a little more confidence. But inside, he was nervous as hell, the same nervous as when he asked you out for the first time many moons ago. But it's too late to back out now, he brought it up first, anyways. Guess we're having this conversation now, good going Jake!

"Is that why you tried unlocking my phone earlier? I mean I thought you were just trying to leave selfies on my phone like you always do but you were trying to read my texts?" You question, slightly raising your soft voice. He doesn't know how to react, he hates confrontation.

"It wasn't like that, Jay just kept spamming you and like I—why was he even texting you in the first place? Then your phone got disabled because you changed your password, which you never do by the way, so I–"

"I changed it because my little sister kept getting into my phone when I went to visit my family yesterday! Did you really think I was hiding something from you? You know I can text whoever I want, right? You don't own me."

Okay so now he's managed to make you angry. Good going Jake, part 2!

"Okay but what does Jay need from you so bad that he has to send you like 50 messages at once?" He's standing now. So are you, eyebrows furrowed together as you collect your bowls from the table.

Standing there, bowls in hand, you say, "Jake, that's none of your business! It wasn't even that big of a deal, I don't know why you felt the need to nosy around."

"Well, if he's texting you non-stop, then obviously it's a big deal! We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you would just tell me what you guys were talking about," he murmurs back, eyes narrowing. You scoff as you trail into your kitchen. He follows behind and stops at the other side at your kitchen island as you place the dirty dishes into the sink.

"No, we're having this conversation because you obviously don't trust me! It doesn't matter what we were talking about, it doesn't matter who I was texting! I could be texting your mother and I shouldn't have to tell you what we were talking about! That's why we're having this conversation," you say as you turn back to face him from the other end.

He hates this. He hates fighting with you (which is a very, very rare occasion). He hates that you think he doesn't trust you. He hates his insecurity eating at him, telling him to keep questioning you on why you and Jay were talking in the first place. He was aware that you were close with his friends, but it wasn't until the texts he realized just how close you are with them. It's not that he didn't trust you, he just didn't know how to act when it came to you and other guys. God knows how he got lucky enough to meet you, let alone date you, so the thought of him losing you to someone else actually terrified him. Not only were you his first real relationship, but he wanted you to be his first and only one in life. You were it for him.

"Why did he text you." He deadpans from his side of the kitchen.

You scoff with a hint of exasperation. "You're kidding me."

You stare at him. He stares back, quirking an eyebrow, as if restating the same question back, as if testing you.

You're fuming now. Why was he making it so hard? Why was he doubting you? Out of frustration, you start laughing, which scares him. That can't be good.

"Fine. You wanna know so bad? Take a look,"  you're one tone level away from screaming as you take your phone out of your pocket, unlock it, and open up your conversation with "bluejay park", sliding the phone across the island to reach him.

Jake stares at the phone which now lies there, unlocked, facing him. Isn't this what he wanted? It is, right? That's why he started this dreaded argument with you in the first place.

Then why does he feel so fucking awful?

He looks back up at you, to see you sighing and looking up at the ceiling, as if trying to force your forming tears back into your eyes.

Yup, he feels horrible.

"Happy? Happy to know we were just trying to plan a surprise birthday party for you but you and your jealously just had to know huh, Jake?" You quickly state, voice cracking, as you tried not to choke up. You weren't sad that he found out about the surprise. You were sad that it felt like he didn't trust you. That he thought you were the type of person to do god knows what behind his back. You hated the feeling of not being trusted. Especially by Jake, of all people.

"Fuck."

Jake's face (and heart) falls with the most broken expression you've ever seen. But you're too sad, angry, tired (a mix of all?) to care. Your only goal right now is to not let him see you cry.

You hurry past him, across your apartment, and into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, leaving behind a shocked, and regretful, Jake.

His heart shrinks when he hears the door slam shut and a little more when he looks down at the still unlocked phone in front of him. He didn't have the heart in him to look at it anymore. Of course he trusted you, he knew what you said was the truth.

He mentally screams at himself for assuming the worst––for thinking that you, a literal angel, would betray him.  First, he thought he was losing you to someone else. Now, he was afraid he just lost you through his own actions. 

He hesitantly sulks over to your door, softly knocking when he reaches it.

"Y/N?"

No response.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I let my—”

"Jake just please leave me alone for now," he hears you painfully say from a distance, meaning you're on your bed. He knows the door's unlocked—the lock on your door hasn't been working for a long time now, despite the many times he tells you to talk to your landlord about it. But he doesn't find it in him to open it. He knows he messed up. If he saw you in there right now, crying, he wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know what he would to do himself, knowing he was the reason behind your tears.

He nods in silence, knowing you can't see him, but does so anyways and returns to his spot on the couch. He could leave right now, go back to the dorm with the rest of the guys, let you have your space like you wanted. But his heart hurts at the idea of leaving you sad, angry, or a combination of both. He can't leave this unresolved. He fucked up, he has to fix it.

And so he sits on your couch for another hour. The clock on the wall behind him continues to tick as the silent tension in your apartment continues to grow. When it hits 11pm and he's sure you've slumbered off into sleep, he quietly enters your room.

He can see your figure in the dark, your back facing the door as you're curled up into yourself under the comforter. He feels his heart drop a little more when he imagines you crying in that position from earlier. He slowly peels the comforter open and gets into his side of the bed, careful not to bother your sleeping figure.

Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, he's never felt more like a stranger in your bed. It's not that he hasn't slept over before, god knows he's probably slept over at your place more than he has in his own bed. But right now, in this moment, he just felt awful. Like he didn't deserve to be in such close proximity to you. How could he be deserving? He violated your privacy, made you feel like you weren't trusted, doubted your relationship.

These thoughts run through Jake's head as he stares up at your ceiling fan, wishing he could turn back time to a few hours ago, before he checked your phone, before he let his insecurities get to the best of him.

You can feel the dip he makes in the bed behind you when he gets in. Of course you're not asleep. There's no way sleep could reach you when you had the recent events constantly replaying in your head like a broken record.

You knew Jake with all your heart. You didn't have to look at him to know he was probably laying there, hurt, staring up at the ceiling, drafting what to say once you wake up—or once he knows you're actually still awake.

You decide to break the tension by turning to lay on your other side, facing him.

You were wrong. Thanks to the little sliver of moonlight shining through your sheer curtains, you can see him, now laying on his side, already looking at you with so much regret in his eyes. You can almost hear the cracks in your heart physically forming.

His eyes widen when he realizes you're still awake. He opens his mouth to say something, but not before you quickly shift over to his side of the bed and embrace him in a tight hold, burying your face into his chest. Without any hesitation, he returns the gesture, arms holding your body as close to him as possible. As if once he let go, he'd lose you forever.

He lets out a sigh of relief as he breathes you in. He didn't even know he was holding his breath all this time.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Y/N," he mutters into your hair. He feels his hoodie getting wet from where you buried your face. He pulls you closer, if that's even possible, feeling his own eyes heating up with sadness. He would never forgive himself for making you feel this way.

"You know I trust you right? Please know that. I shouldn't have assumed the worst when I saw your phone. I...I let my insecurities get to the best of me."

You move your head from its home on his chest to look up at him, as if asking him to elaborate. This was new to you, you didn't know he held insecurities in your relationship. But it wasn't because of you, no, you were his entire world. Losing you meant losing everything.

Jake's never been the best at saying his feelings. That's why it took him so long (with the help of his six best friends) to finally confess how he felt about you. He was afraid of letting people in if they could easily walk out. Maybe that's why he never let anyone into his life before you. But oh, were you an exception. The second he met you, he knew he was fucked. But thank god he did, because thanks to you, he's been able to be more open, more vulnerable. He's able to talk to you about anything and everything. He doesn't have that same fear of losing people anymore, not when he has you in his life to reassure him every step of the way. But right now, in this moment, he doesn't know how to tell you that his new fear was, in fact, just losing you.

The sheer idea of you not being a part of his life anymore terrified him. 

"I hope you know you're never going to lose me Jake, if that's what you're insecure about," you softly mutter as you wrap your free arm that's not stuck in between both your bodies around him to gently play with the ends of his hair. It's as if you could read his mind, he loves that you know him so well.

"It just sucks that you could even think I would ever do something as awful as what you were assuming...with one of your closest friends nonetheless," you continue.

"I know. I know, and I feel terrible. I'm so sorry. I know you would never do anything remotely close to that, and I know you would never intentionally try to keep anything from me," he sighs. He shifts so he can lie down on his back, bringing you with him to lie on his chest, never letting you go once. "It's just...I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you Y/N. Everyday, I ask myself what heroic thing I must've done in my past life to deserve this life with you and I can't help but think you could just as easily be stripped away from me."

As much as your heart breaks listening to him rant, you feel your love for him grow even more. You knew how hard it was for him to put his true emotions into words, and him telling you this reminded you how much trust he had in you.

After some moments of silence, moments of him drawing random shapes onto your back, moments of you two just holding each other like it was the end of the world, you speak up.

"I love you. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself—"

"No, it's not your fault, I can't help but think things like that. I just don't know what I did to deserve you, and I know that I need to be mo–"

"Babe let me finish," you say with a little giggle in your tone. He immediately stops and mutters a little "sorry". How cute, you tell yourself.

"I was gonna say," you look back up at him so you're making direct eye contact now. "You're the only one that's ever on my mind, Jake. I can't help the way you think, but I can assure you that there is no one else I would rather be with. And I mean that for the rest of life."

You snuggle back into the comfortable hoodie he's currently wearing (you make a mental note to yourself to steal it from him later) and decide to ease the tension,

"So you're stuck with me for life, sorry to inform you Mr. Sim."

Jake lets out a laugh, looking down at you to see you returning his smile with a cheeky one.

"I love you. So much," he says so sincerely, so genuinely, that you almost tear up again from how content you were. Now you were asking yourself, what did you do to deserve him?

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

No, he just loves you.

A lot.

[b1oodandchocolate]

In this post:

About the Muse (Dr. Frederick Chilton, NBC Hannibal)

About the Mun (Hi, I’m Casper!)

I’ll Write...

I Won’t Write...

Character Headcanons (HC’s and Canon-Divergent Ideas) 

RP Rules

This is my secondary RP blog! Freddie Lounds (NBC Hannibal) is my main character. You can find my blog for her here, @thegreatestjournalistofalltime​ , on which I would also be thrilled to write with you if you’d like! Both are independent and selective.

I have the link to my RP Queue board on my side navigation, but for mobile users, you can click here to see all the stuff I’m working on.

All dividers used below were made by saradika​. Please go check out her work. It’s all lovely.

Dr. Frederick Chilton is an arrogant, self-absorbed man who desires nothing more than to be admired and recognized in the world of psychiatry. He had initially attempted to achieve this notoriety as a surgeon, but he lacked the skills necessary and thus switched to a different medical field. He always seems to be in Hannibal's shadow, and it bothers him. So much so that he attempts to imitate the man more than he may even realize.

Like Freddie Lounds, he resorts to shady means to attain his desired status. However, he always seems to fall short, regardless.

Here’s Chilton’s Wiki Bio for more information if you haven’t seen the show ❤️

Hello, there! My name is Casper. I’m transmasc non-binary (my pronouns are they/them/theirs or he/him/his) and I’m over the age of 30. I’m neurodivergent as fuck, and, despite writing for shady characters, I’m a soft boi  😅 

I’m kind of the stereotypical introvert, so I know I can sometimes come across as standoffish (especially online), but I promise that I’m friendly! I just have a super low threshold for socializing, especially with people I don’t know or don’t know very well yet, which sometimes makes it seem like I don’t want to talk to someone, when the reality is that I just can’t at a given time. Especially since it’s super easy for me to hit “burnout mode.”

Anyway, I’m hoping that I can actually do something of substance with this blog and stick around a while lol. Please don’t be afraid to say hi! Just please keep in mind that I may not be able to respond right away.

Lastly, this is my Ao3, which has been collecting dust and pretty much only has Chilton stuff on it (except for that one Nevada fic) lol: casperlounds on Ao3

Fluffy stuff

Platonic relationships

Consensual NSFW stuff (please see rules below)

Violent or Dark Themes (please see rules below)

Canon-Compliant OR Canon-Divergent Stuff

RP with Non-Hannibal Characters from Other Shows/Movies

RP with OCs in OR Outside of Hannibal

And more...

NonCon/Sexual Violence

Various Kinks (please see rules below)

Varying Degrees of Gore (please see rules below)

Burned Chilton (please see character headcanons below)

And more...

His arrogance and superiority stem from deep-seated feelings of not being good enough (though, is this even really a headcanon? It's implied canon lol).

His father was a surgeon and incredibly tough on him growing up. His mother was a history professor and, though she was more encouraging, she wasn't too much better.

Only child. Didn't have very many friends growing up.

In RP where it's in his history that he was kidnapped by Dolarhyde, Chilton was rescued before the Dragon could maim and burn him. The details can vary based on RP (if it makes sense), but my HC is that he was being tracked and Jack and Will expected that Chilton might become the target instead of Will. This is the one canon-divergent thing I won't budge on because it fucked me up way too badly when I saw it in the show and I have to skip over it any time I do a rewatch. I don't care who was in that chair, that was brutal and nobody deserves that.

Bisexual.

Hasn't had a romantic or physical relationship with anyone in a really long time. He gets lonely in his ostentatious house by himself, but he'd never admit it. He's also the kind of person to try to ignore it if he starts developing feelings for someone because he fears rejection.

Please read these rules before requesting to roleplay.

This blog is 18+ ONLY. Therefore, I will also only write with people over the age of 18. Minors, please DNI.

If you want to RP with me, please PM me and let me know what you had in mind. Please do not post a starter without discussing things with me first. That way, we can also decide who will start things off!

I prefer public RPs, reblogging each other with our responses. HOWEVER, if you’d like to RP privately, please tell me so and I will try to work something out with you. Preferably on Discord.

That said, I cannot do RP in PMs. I tried that once and it was a bad struggle for me. Which is why I suggest Discord.

I will only accept random starters from certain people. If I get comfortable enough, I’ll let you know if I’m OK with your doing that. However, please don’t take this personally! As I stated in the About the Mun section, I’m both neurodivergent and have trouble with social spaces.

That said, if I post an Open Starter that reads “(anyone may reply),” I mean anyone, even non-mutuals. Any Open Starters meant solely for mutuals will be clearly marked to avoid confusion. However, for those who do reply (thank you!), please be aware that I may not get to yours or it may or may not turn into a longer RP.

Please understand that I often struggle with burnout and extreme fatigue, as well as other symptoms stemming from ADHD. Therefore, there will be times when I write more and times that I write less. I also might find it easier to work on one thing over another at a given time, but that doesn't mean I don’t value the partner or the RP I’m not working on. If this doesn't work for you, that’s totally understandable, just please don’t start writing with me if this is something you think will be a problem. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

On that same note, please be aware that I will not be writing page-long+ replies. Some of my starters/replies may be longer than others, but I generally write two or three paragraphs. If you’re looking for someone who writes lengthy replies, I’m not your guy. Realistically, I also know I wouldn’t be able to read those lengthy posts, so it wouldn’t be fair to you, either.

Despite not writing ultra lengthy replies, I do put a lot of thought and effort into them. I’ve been made aware that some people have started to use AI generated responses in RP (what a time to be alive). This is a hard no from me. I may take a while to respond, but when I do, I do so to the best of my abilities. I’d hope my partners do the same.

I will only accept “pre-established relationship” OCs (i.e. your character is the romantic interest/mortal enemy/childhood best friend/etc. of my muse) on a case-by-case basis. As with the “romantic chemistry” rule below, if I’m not feeling the connection, or if I don’t think I’ll be a good fit as a partner for it, I will respectfully decline.

If you want to drop or rework/restart a thread or idea that we’re working on together, please let me know!

Please don’t message me asking when I’m going to get to your response. All that does is make me anxious. I’ll likely let you know, myself, when I can get around to it if you’ve been waiting.

Likewise, please don’t spam message me, especially if I haven’t responded. That makes me incredibly anxious and less likely to respond at all.

However, please do message me if you have questions or want to discuss an idea in the RP we’re working on!!!

I will not have exclusive partners for a given character (i.e. a single Hannibal Lecter that I write with and no other Hannibals). There may be people I write with most frequently for a given character, but I won’t exclude other people.

If you aren’t sure if I’ll be comfortable with something, please ask. This includes NSFW themes, dark themes, violence, and gore. I will do the same for you!

As a general rule, I’ll likely not be comfortable with most kinks. You can ask in PMs while we plan our roleplay, but please know that the answer will likely be “no.”

In the event that you want to RP NSFW stuff, please let me know at the start that this is something you'd like to explore. However, also keep in mind that if I’m not feeling the connection, if it it doesn't make sense for our muses after we get into the RP, I won’t force it. Likewise, I’m also aware that sometimes things will gradually, naturally lead to romantic or sexual places, so it’s fine if that happens organically as we go.

Also, please keep in mind, though I don't mind discussing more explicit NSFW stuff regarding characters, I may not want to RP super explicit stuff. Again, case by case and I'd prefer to discuss it first so that we're both comfortable.

This post and all its sections are subject to change or revision. If that happens, I’ll post that I’ve updated it.

[fkevin073]

I'm staying anonymous for now.

This is because of this post (post/668044585142992896/since-that-gifset-of-nick-yesterday-and-your) that I'm overly thinking details like this again. So my scattered thoughts might not make sense to you.

And I will take you ahead of time, I never meant to write this message to be a long message. But my thoughts are always this scattered a lot of the time when I'm thinking about characters, plots, stories, things..

I've watched and rewatched Fear Street movies a few times, and I will watch it again because why not watch horror movies for Halloween.

And if I'm honest... I enjoyed the movies more that I actually thought I would have. Which is saying a lot from me. But there are some details that bothered me, obviously the continuation errors really bother me.

I don't know if I'm the only one with that problem. But I also wish that there more depth to the characters, the plot, the story, to everything.. The acting was fine. The special effects were fine. Things were fine.

I wanted more depth, even just a little more depth.

Like before Nick Goode knew about his family tradition (the Pact), he genuinely seemed like a sweetheart who never discriminated against anyone for their differences. Including Shadysiders. That's the way I'd view his character. He was a sweetheart who wanted to help anyone - like Ziggy - in any way he could. And if I'm honest, I'm not sure if Nick was already crushing on Ziggy at that point. Or if he just didn't want a person to be constantly harassed, and almost killed, for petty reasons like everyone kept doing to Ziggy. Ziggy was just blamed because she was the only Shadysider in those situations whenever counselors had been involved. But, then again, the viewers never really see Nick even interacting with any other Shadysiders besides Ziggy. So I'm not even really sure if Nick's sweet spot was only for Ziggy, or for anyone else if they got to know the real him. Not his family name, not his reputation or his status. The real him as himself. Maybe I'm overly thinking this.

Nick told Ziggy that he's never wanted to be a part with the traditions of his family like the Pact, and tried finding ways to talk himself out of doing the ritual. The viewers never thought the Goode family was this evil family, until the reveal in 1666. But the scene with Ted Sutherland as the teenage Goode men, as Nick, he does really list Thomas Slater. But when he listed Tommy as a name, that happened before he really talked to Ziggy. Because Tommy was killing people during the scenes of Nick and Ziggy kissing, they heard screaming in that moment. And that was when Nick's fate was sealed. But he did try saving people, as many people that he could find. And he was traumatized by the death he did witness, he even got sick over what he saw. Either... Nick never didn't believe the Pact was actually real, or maybe he never thought a situation like that would have never lead to killing dozens of people all at once like that. I don't know. I don't really know if his fate was sealed when he listed a name on the wall, or when he wish to resurrect Ziggy back to life. And I've had similar thoughts as you. After you find out all the antagonizes were actually the Goode family, maybe Nick was also trying to find ways to redeem himself in some way or another but the situations always kept getting worse rather than better. But I wonder.. Do you think he lost his entire soul from the '78 Nightwing Massacre, or do think he kept losing pieces of his soul whenver he added names to the wall for another massacre. A thought that comes to mind a lot.

The Goode father was dead. Nick and Will weren't being controlled by their father anymore. So Nick didn't have to keep that tradition going.

There are details that I always wish was explained more in depth - the minor and major details that weren't elaborated on in the movies, and especially the audience who never read the books or don't remember those details in the books. I know they altered a a few details though.

Like for the Witchcraft, the black magic. Obviously the witchcraft was a part of the Goode family since 1666 because of Solomon Goode did use the magic book, which was passed down for many generations.

How did the Goode father die? So I know not many people care about the father of Nick and Will, but I'm kinda curious to know how he died though. Even if his death might not be an interesting death either.

Did any of the females, like mothers and sisters, know about the Pact in the family. Or only the males. I know, I know.. People have theories.

Just about any and every detail of the plot that was elaborated on are the same details I'm overly thinking about, whether or not the details are interesting. Whether or not the details are major and minor details to the viewers of the movies. Even if the details are to the plot.

I'm just overly thinking through with scattered thoughts right now. And, I know that I keep saying that, but that's how my mind is for me.

ah no this is so great! the great thing about this trilogy is the characters. the must frustrating thing about this trilogy is also the characters, Nick in particular.

The thing that guts most people about Nick is the potential he had. To be better. To forsake the curse. Because Nick obviously had a lot of feelings for Ziggy and knew what he was doing was wrong, but he did it anyway. He succumbed to the curse and his privilege, even if he didn't necessarily seem happy about it based on how he looked when he said Tommy's name.

LOL in my head canon Nick had a crush on Ziggy for a really long time and only found the courage during that summer because of what he decided to do.

I've talked a lot about this with other people - like Nick's intention with the curse, because he was trying to save people and he was frolicking around with Ziggy shortly beforehand. To me, he did know it was real, even if he didn't want it to be. He got close to Ziggy because he wanted to make sure she was okay, even if that epically failed and he was a complete idiot about all of it. the thing about Nick is that he has some humanity in him, especially when it comes to Ziggy. Maybe he didn't want the curse to be real, but he knew it was deep down (in my mind). He just tried to justify his reasoning to himself and was weak.

In my mind, Nick lost a major chunk of his soul when he turned his back on Ziggy at Nightwing. When she pushed him away. Nick in 1994 and Nick in 1978 are two very different people. Nick when he puts Ryan's name on the wall is so much more of an asshole than Nick when he put Tommy (though obviously he's still awful either way). Part of my frustration with this trilogy is that Nick totally becomes a textbook moustache twirling villain in 1994 after he holds Ziggy hostage. Like his whole speech to Deena? totally lacking in nuance. He was just straight up evil. And while some people are like that (Nick’s dad was totally a creep), it was disappointing that they reduced his character so much especially because they’d shown him as a more nuanced character in 1978. 

There’s been a lot of debate on how the curse actually worked because the film implies that the first born son kind of automatically inherits the burden? Like the devil ensures that the cycle continues by each Goode having a son and so on. The son doesn’t know until they’re like 17 or something and then they’re told. But if that’s the case - how much free will do they have? Does the heart disappear after the Goode heir dies and then reappears when the curse is renewed? It’s very unclear because the wall has the names when Nick says Tommy and his dad is dead by then. When Nick dies in 1994, it all disappears, so the nuances of the curse are very unclear. 

In my head canon, Joseph Goode (Nick’s dad) died from a sudden heart attack or other accident as a final fuck you from satan, though I know other people have different ideas on how Joseph bit the dust which are so fun. 

In terms of the females though, people have looked at the Goode family tree and there were barely any females born. Like it’s sons and sons and sons. In my opinion, I think the Goode matriarch’s knew something was up, but maybe not the full details. Same with Will. I like the idea of the curse being something solely thrust on the shoulder’s of the first born son, and so he’s very isolated from the family afterwards. 

lol so sorry for the long reply but let me know what you think! always fun discussing this stuff.  

[singofsolace]

"Ocean's 12"... and a rant about how Clooney and the boys were assholes during press...

Continuing to make my way through Catherine Zeta-Jones' filmography, I decided to watch Ocean's 11 and Ocean's 12 (which I'd never seen before--shocking, I know!). I was mildly entertained by these movies, but that's pretty much the nicest thing I could say.

I enjoyed Catherine Zeta-Jones as Isabel, and I thought her chemistry with Brad Pitt was convincing, but ultimately, most of what we learn about her character's background is outright told to us by Rusty, instead of revealed naturally within the story, which bothered me. I wanted more screen time for CZJ so that the movie felt more balanced in its game of cat and mouse.

Also, I hope I'm not alone in saying that I genuinely did not understand the "plot twist" at the end of Ocean's 12, or rather, I understood it, but didn't understand why the writers chose to end it that way. The "oh, actually, the heist you just spent two hours being invested in? yeah, no, that was all fake. They were just going through the motions. They'd already stolen the real egg before they did the heist shown in the movie, and therefore there were literally no stakes in the heist that you just watched them try (and fail) to do. Surprise!"

I feel like that ending doesn't work for the same reason that no movie since The Wizard of Oz can successfully pull off the "it was all a dream" ending without the audience feeling cheated. And why would anyone want to rewatch the film, then, knowing that a significant portion of the movie is spent planning and performing a heist that's already happened in a different, less interesting way, off screen...?

Also, if the LeMarc reveal was meant to be as poignant as CZJ's acting was trying to convey, I really needed more screen time for her that established the stakes of her relationship to her father, and how Rusty knew things she didn't even know about her parents. Having Rusty tell us that her dad was a thief who died when she was young doesn't convey any of the emotion of that situation, and then when we see her mother's funeral, we again aren't told why that death is significant to the story, until Rusty springs that information on both Isabel and the audience at the same time. Which is why it doesn't work, because the writing keeps the audience so in the dark as to make a sudden random beacon of light seem artificial and contrived.

And don't get me started on Julia Roberts playing Tess playing Julia Roberts... whoever thought that was a "clever" or funny idea should've been fired before it ever made it to the screen.

All in all, I enjoyed seeing CZJ in another big action film after Entrapment, but I can see why she wouldn't want to return for Ocean's 13.

It's also worth noting that according to information shared from the police investigation, Catherine was being stalked and threatened by Dawnette Knight during the filming of Ocean's 12. The Amsterdam hotel where she was staying received several phone calls containing death threats and other disturbing messages that made CZJ fear for her life. She had to increase her security detail from one person to four, and apparently greeted fans from behind a bullet proof shield at one point. Crowds that gathered to watch the filming process had to be pushed back even farther than normal because of fears that someone would make good on the threats to kill her. CZJ even called her husband, Michael Douglas, at one point after finishing her scenes in Rome to say that she was so distressed by the messages she feared she was having a heart attack or a stroke. (x)

The fact that she was able to still do her job through all of that is frankly mind-blowing to me, and that's why I hate that George Clooney and the other boys repeatedly made jokes during press about Catherine having a restraining order against Clooney that made it difficult to film because he had to stay 50 feet away from her. Don Cheadle also joked in this ScreenSlam interview that the restraining order was because Catherine blew a "groping" incident way out of proportion, and Brad Pitt advised them jokingly to stop talking and "let the courts handle it."

I don't know how all of them saw her in fear for her life every day while filming and decided to joke about it during press...? Like what kind of people do that?!? Maybe I'm jumping to an unfair conclusion here, and the boys genuinely had no idea what was going on with Catherine, or why the crowds had to be pushed back, but assuming they knew at least a little bit, because it did impact filming... if my colleague was receiving death threats and was perilously close to a nervous breakdown, as CZJ later admitted she was, (she also mentioned during an interview with Matt Damon if any of the boys gave her hard time during filming, she immediately would start to cry, so they stopped messing with her right away because her reaction was "just sad"), I don't think I would joke about her filing a restraining order against Clooney for groping her...? Like there's pretty much no scenario where joking about sexual harassment is funny, but it's particularly vile to make those jokes when 1) the tabloids were already speculating about Clooney and CZJ having an affair, which Dawnette Knight used as ammunition in her death threats, so joking that she took legal action because Clooney groped her isn't going to fucking help that situation, and 2) a violent stalker was actively threatening to kill her at the time that these tasteless jokes were made...?

I recognize it was a series of jokes that were meant to be just that--jokes--but when someone is suffering, and you make them the butt of the joke, it's not only unkind, it's downright cruel.

[thatgirlonstage]

What will your next fanfic be about? Are there ones that you have on the back burner?

Lmao it's adorable you think I have this like. Neatly planned and organized that I definitely know what I'm posting next.

I have two kinky erotica one-shots that I have a good amount written for, one JJK Sukufushi pwp and one 5+1 porn-with-plot Elena of Avalor fic (...I started a rewatch and Esteban promptly broke my brain, it's. been a thing). Barring that I bang out something short on tumblr or twitter (like my most recent fic, keep the king) in like an hour, or something else doesn’t unexpectedly overtake my life, one of those will go up next.

For the back burner… oh, god, so many things.

I have three fics planned for next Mermay, two of which are short (a Critical Role M9 fic that will not take much work to finish, and would’ve been done this year if Our Flag Means Death hadn’t seized me by the throat and consumed my life, and a TAZ: Ethersea fic, which I have planned out and I’m just waiting to write out and publish closer to the month). The third is a longform Witcher geraskefer fic that I uhhhhh sort of promised would be published this past May, but then grad school and ofmd happened and it Simply Was Not Finished. But I am very much hoping to get it done for next year.

There are two BNHA fics — one dabihawks, one postcanon future fic that I was writing for Banned Together Bingo and didn't finish in time — that I have a shit ton written for but may or may not ever see the light of day due to starting them before/during the first war arc and now they’re really not canon compliant anymore, and I’d have to do a lot of work to make them a more deliberate canon divergence, and just… idk if it will ever happen. Also because, frankly, ime BNHA fandom sucks to post fic in. Your fic just gets buried in the first ten minutes and I feel like the comments to kudos ratio is particularly bad. So I’d be doing a shit ton of work just for nobody to care about it if I bothered to share it.

I do fully intend to write another TAZ: Balance fic about Lup to turn Without Mercy and Without Blame into a triptych that covers all the birds. I lost part of my drafting for that unfortunately so it's just getting up the energy to rewrite it. Also in the vein of incomplete series, I will not feel done with in the quiet of his mind until I have at least written the forest kiss and "get away"; and I would be absolutely remiss not to do an epistolary Charon/Hermes fic for The Many Layers of Life and Death. None of those things are imminent, but they've been percolating in my head long enough that I think I will eventually get to them, it's just anyone's guess when.

And then there’s the WIPs.

Both The Way You Said I Love You and Written in Sand I have substantial swathes of the rest of the fic written for. For WiS, at this point, I’m waiting until I’ve chipped away and finished the whole fic so that when I finally do come back, I can just post chapters once a week and not go on another years long hiatus. For TWYSILU I’m just blocked on part of this specific chapter and I need to get back to it whenever my brain stops hating me about it. They 10000% are not abandoned and will not be, I am just slow.

I did not. Uh. Intend to post a single chapter of If I’m Not Back Again and immediately stop, but. Life. The current plan for that one is that I’ll write more when Good Omens S2 drops.

And if you go REALLY far back in my Ao3 you’ll find The Green Hunter, which I honestly make zero promises for, that one’s on an “if inspiration strikes” basis.

The only unfinished published fic I have that definitely will not be finished is Long Lost, and even that isn’t abandoned as such — whenever I finish WiS, I want to move over to a significant rewrite of Long Lost to scratch the Voltron itch without being forced to engage with canon. But WiS is the priority.

[danisaur-arts]

THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES: BOOK REVIEW

Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk

A couple of weeks ago, I was rewatching Catching Fire to have something in the background while I painted my nails. Truth is I was too hooked with the movie to do much painting, and that's how 2013 me took over and I became invested in the world of the Hunger Games again. I reread the trilogy and then got TBoSaS for a Christmas gift.

I knew absolutely nothing about the book. For a while I even thought it was about Haymitch's games. But after opening it I realized it was about president Snow?! I was mind-blown but also excited to get this perspective on how a young boy became a horrid viper president.

The book, with all honesty, starts quite very slow. But so does The Hunger Games and also Gregor the Overlander. Collins likes to have a solid establishment of the protagonist's world before diving into the story. In my opinion, TBoSaS opening is the slowest opening of all her books, but not without justification.

As the story moves on, we are presented to an ambitious Coriolanus Snow. Mind you, ambitious, not evil yet. He meets Lucy Gray Baird, District 12's girl tribute who he had to mentor for the 10th Hunger Games, and us the readers are quick to pick up the spark this Covey girl had on Panem's future president.

Snow's relationship to Lucy Gray Baird developed an entire new persona of him. His usual hateful and ambitious character he usually has when talking to the likes of Sejanus or Dean Highbottom is gone when he's with Lucy Gray. That scared me at the beginning, because it sort of made Snow empathize-able and also low-key made me ship him with Lucy Gray. But then I realized something, and you should keep this in mind when reading this book too; we already know Snow is evil, we genuinely know the book won't have a happy ending and we know there's no lovely future with Lucy Gray Baird. So, that means this book is not about a love story, or the games themselves. It is about how quickly a highschool boy can develop a dictator's ideology and how quickly the media can make something as horrible as the hunger games an entertaining show.

I particularly liked this bit about the hunger games in the book, to see this entirely different perspective of the games, not only on how they used to be organized, but on how they were seen by the people of the Capitol. To think many of them used to even hate them and find them gross is just proof that anything dressed nicely can fool the vanity of the people.

But back to Snow, I want to emphasize on the point that evil is not born, it is made. Snow did not develop his ideas by himself. Dr. Gaul was clearly pulling his strings. Feeding him with her ideology and pushing the little things we all think in the darkest part of our hearts to the surface, Making Snow justify them as necessary. Maybe he had evil in him, but it was Dr. Gaul who shaped it to the man he became. And Snow didn't let her down, because at the end, it is our actions who define us, not our words. And he proved to live by his evil ideas (rip Sejanus, we will always miss you even though you were a drama queen)

And I think Snow developed this mindset ^^ towards the ending. What he had with Lucy Gray Baird had the potential of becoming something lovely, but it was merely something based on a crush. Ladies and lads, do not be fooled by kisses! Snow became gradually possessive about Lucy Gray as the story developed, because he was also settling on his idea about control. But Lucy Gray is someone so spontaneous and free that it seemed impossible to chain her up. He may have loved her the most, but the impossibility of controlling her led him to a choice, to leave her or to destroy his ideology by staying with her. So he grew to hate her, as he hated his incapacity to control the Mockingjays... As he hated Katniss Everdeen

His desire to control everything blinded him. Desperately clinging to his lucky card that Snow lands on top, he forgot one thing:

The show's not over until the Mockingjay sings

Overall, the book has some cool hooking moments, but is quite slow when sometimes it shouldn't be. I definitely think it could've been a little shorter than it is. There are some events in the plot that feel fanfiction-ish, like the "rebel explosion" in the arena before the games, still trying to decipher the need of that one. Most of the characters names are incredibly hard to pronounce and remember. And I feel the ending was a little too rushed. I am not a fan of the way Collins writes epilogues tbh, but she's still a genius queen. The loose ends on Lucy Gray bothered me at first, but as someone pointed out, she is a mystery herself, no wonder her ending is one as well.

I loved to see this new ambiance of an almost defeated capitol and how the games used to be. Loved Tigris' moments which only add more fire to how Snow treated her years later. Lucy Gray is what I aspire to be and I also loved all the backstory Collins gave to all secondary characters.

The plot is well driven and the story, while slow, can be very hooking.

.

Rating: 8/10