#kylo ren angst

[rynwritesstuff]

How Bad Do You Want Me? - Kylo Ren x ResistancePilot!Reader

Kylo Ren x ResistancePilot!Reader

Warnings: NSFW (PIV Sex, unprotected sex, crying during sex lol), Banter, sassy Kylo Ren, sassy Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: Before Kylo Ren was Kylo Ren, he was a padawan with you. Before you were a Resistance Pilot, you were a padawan with Kylo Ren. Now, several years later, you've found yourself in the clutches of the First Order, and, of course, Kylo himself.

A/N: May the Fourth be with you! I decided to celebrate my lifelong love for this series by writing some smut lol, as one does. In case you missed it, I created a sideblog (@rainbow-gelpen) so if you wanna see some non-writing shenanigans from me, head on over there for some fun. Otherwise, enjoy the oneshot <3

The room is cold, that is the first thing you note as you come to your senses. When you open your eyes, everything begins to come together in choppy, drawn-out scenes. 

The village, full and dark. The people, afraid and yelling. 

Lor San Tekka, with his small smirk.

Kylo Ren, lightsaber in hand. 

You startle at the image of him and jerk against the restraints on the interrogation chair. You look around the room. No Stormtroopers are in-sight, and you know immediately that this must be intentional. Stormtroopers are so small-minded, so easily manipulated . . . And, after all, Kylo Ren knows that you are a Force-user. 

Yes, he knows you could have Forced your way through Stormtroopers and escaped out of the base with, most likely, very little effort. Your fists clench at the knowledge, already beginning to feel angry with him. You wonder briefly, foolishly, if generals and officers will be sent in soon to try and force the information out of you. And then, you remember who you are dealing with. 

Kylo Ren will want to get it out of you himself. As, of course, a testament to the fact that he simply can. As proof that he knew you once and knows you still. If you know a person long ago – knew every part of them – that does not necessarily fade with time, does it? Perhaps bits and pieces go, but not whole parts. Kylo Ren is still Ben Solo. Ben Solo is still Kylo Ren. 

You stare at the door, willing it to open, daring it to open. You can feel his energy. It is getting closer. He’s so angry, so sad. You can sense it. Gods, you feel sick knowing just how infected he is. You wonder now, just as you have wondered everyday since he burned down the Temple you once shared, if there was ever anything to be done for him, and if you could have been the one to save him from himself. 

You shake your head. He didn’t want saving, he wanted power, and power is what he received. If it meant losing you, he didn’t care, did he?

. . . Did he?

Footsteps come pounding towards you. You still recognize the cadence even after all this time, after all these changes. You know who it is, and you set your eyes on the door again. The durasteel door slides open with a soft hiss, and there he is. Your jaw clenches, standing tall as the door slams down shut again. Kylo stands there for a moment. 

“It is really you,” he says. You glare at him. Anger swells in your chest, that very same anger that you carried with you all that time ago as you watched the Jedi Temple burn down. You remember looking for him, clawing through pieces of wreckage as you searched and called for him. And then there it was, his hand on your shoulder, and you can still remember how the relief felt when it coursed through you.

And yes, you can still remember the betrayal you felt when you realized what he had done. 

You hate that he still has this hold over you, this grip on your heart, your mind. Has nothing changed? Has time not cast its spell? Here he is in his dark clothes – a leather tunic, leather trousers, boots, a cape, a mask, gloves – and still a part of you feels like it has finally come home. 

“I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on-board,” Kylo speaks again. You don’t stop glaring. If this is the last thing you’ll ever do, you won’t go down easily. You’ll fight him, you’ll shame him, you’ll combat every remark. You owe him nothing, he owes you everything. 

You could have killed him, afterall. After you’d seen exactly what he had done to the Temple, to your fellow Padawans. People were yelling for you to stop him, to trap him, and you . . . Just let him go. You wonder sometimes, even now, how everything may have played out if you had sliced his leg or stalled him or whipped out your own lightsaber. 

There could be peace across the galaxy today if you had not loved him more than the future of your fellow civilians. 

He looks so strong, so powerful. You remember when he was younger, when his muscles weren’t quite so large and his shoulders weren’t so broad. You wonder what he looks like. Is he scarred? Mutilated beyond recognition? Is that why he wears this mask?

“You’re a coward,” you snarl suddenly, unable to stop yourself. Kylo crouches. You can sense the peculiar look on his face from beneath the mask. “Hiding behind a mask. You don’t even have the guts to look at me with your eyes . . . Do you?”

Hesitation. You sense it from him. How odd. 

Then, his hands are lifting and settling at the sides of the mask. He presses buttons at the side, and it hisses as the facepiece unlocks and lifts. Kylo pulls the mask off as he stands once more. He sets it aside, then looks upon you. 

Oh. 

Oh.

This is the face of someone worth losing everything over.

His eyes are angry. His brows are thick. His nose is prominent, his lips are plush. Moles and freckles dot his pale skin. His hair is longer now than it was years ago, but still wavy. Still curled at the ends. It takes everything in you not to let the emotions swell. Perhaps this will prove to be more difficult than you thought. 

Kylo steps forward, and you don’t dare look away. 

“I know the old man gave it to you,” Kylo says. “The map. Tell me where it is.”

You shake your head. 

“You of all people should know that I’m not that easy,” you tell him. The corner of his mouth twitches. You remember the summer you spent with him, drunk in love under the bright stars. Oh, the smiles he’d give you. This is nothing in comparison. 

“Don’t make me fight for it,” Kylo says. He steps forward again. “We both know I’m stronger. I can take whatever I want.”

Your faces are so close. Your hands are clenched into fists, still. You are aching to touch him, to feel his skin against yours. You look at him and wonder how exactly he plans to take this information from you. The truth is that the map is far away from here by now, and on its way to the Resistance with your BB unit. 

You have nothing for him. Even if he finds out about the droid, Kylo and his people will never beat it to the base. Perhaps you are to die tonight at the hands of Kylo Ren. What a heroic way to go. What a beautiful last face to see. 

Kylo brings a large, gloved hand up to the side of your face, not touching you but nearly doing so. The Force hums, then. You grunt as you throw up your mental walls, fighting to keep him out. 

“You don’t h-have to do this,” you breathe softly, straining against the pain. Kylo says nothing, instead pushing harder. You look away from him, and because you do this, you miss the way his bottom lip quivers briefly. He feels it – everything you’ve carried with you all this time.

“You’re so angry,” he says quietly, almost to himself. You shake your head. 

“I-I’ve been captured by your s-slaves,” you quip.

“No,” comes his firm voice. “You’re angry because of what I did at the Temple. Even now, it’s in here.”

“You sound surprised,” you grunt, glaring at him again. His eyes meet yours. “I loved you.”

“You loved what I stood for.”

“I. Loved. You,” you snarl. You shake against the restraints. “Let me out of this wretched thing, face me properly. Or are you too afraid of what I can do?”

Kylo pulls out of your mind. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as he stares at you momentarily. Then, he reaches forward and undoes the cuffs of the interrogation chair. You lunge at him immediately, shoving him so hard that he stumbles back.

You raise your hand to smack him, and he catches your wrists in both of his hands. You knee him in the crotch instead. Kylo grunts, then spins you around and pins you against the wall with his entire firm body pressed against yours. You struggle. 

“Get off of me.”

“I told you you were angry,” Kylo says, as if to prove a point.

“Get off.”

“Where is the map?”

“I don’t know.”

Kylo adjusts your wrists so that he’s holding them both in one hand, then brings his other hand up to rest on your throat. Your breath catches. 

“Where . . . is it?”

“I don’t know,” You say again, softly this time. Kylo hums, and you feel the energy shifting. Your heart begins to pound. Kylo’s body is hot against yours. You tip your head back to rest against his shoulder. An olive branch. A dove. An offer. His hand slides down from your throat to your left breast. You nearly moan at the feeling – how long have you waited for this? How many nights have you laid awake thinking of this exact scenario? Wondering how how hands would feel on your chest, on your hips, on your–

“You want this,” Kylo says as he squeezes your breast. You sigh. 

“I never said I didn’t,” you remark. He leans forward and presses his face against your shoulder, then inhales your scent deeply. 

“If you’re gonna take me, then do it,” you say breathily. 

“Have you no patience?”

“Clearly not,” you tell him. You feel his erection pressing against you, and you chuckle. “Clearly you don’t, either.”

Kylo turns you around so that he can look at you. You reach up to touch him, running your hand along his cheek. He seems to lean into your touch, and this brings you an odd sense of satisfaction. He still wants you, still wants this.

“Take all this shit off,” you tell him firmly, tugging at his tunic. He says your name, and you shake your head. “I don’t care. Take it off. If you’re gonna kill me over this map, I want to see you one last time.”

You’ve always held your head high, but the truth is that Kylo Ren has haunted you from the moment he left the Temple, lightsaber in-hand. Life is . . . Life is a waiting game now. Wondering how much time you have left, how much time you’ve wasted. But now, here? You know how it could end, and Kylo Ren is taking off his cape and his tunic and his undershirt, and you surge forward to grab a handful of his hair and kiss him. 

He gasps against your lips but you only press against him harder. The Force seems to hum around the two of you. Two powerhouses together only means ultimate power, and as Kylo pulls your body forward and yanks at your clothes, you begin to realize that perhaps you should have joined him all those years ago. 

It certainly would’ve made life much easier for you.

Kylo shreds your shirt and throws its remnants aside before reaching around to unclip your undergarment. You let him. He kisses you again, and you feel it again – The Force’s strong presence. 

You lean back against the wall, and Kylo tugs down your pants eagerly, lips parted and cheeks flushed. What an incredible privilege it is to see him in this way again. You wonder how long it has been for him.

You run your hands along his strong arms – which are much larger than they were the last time you had him like this – and then meet his eyes. 

“Please,” you breathe. Kylo nods, reaching down to pull his erection free from his trousers. 

“I know,” he says. The emotion from earlier, you feel it finally. Tears fill your eyes as you part your legs for him, bringing one of them up to hook around his hip. Kylo holds the side of your face as a tear escapes you. 

You cling to him, wrapping your arms around him in an attempt to bring yourself even closer yet. He enters you, and you moan as he fills you up. Your grip on him tightens. You’ve missed this – you’ve needed it for Gods know how long. Kylo begins to piston his hips, fucking into you, and you groan as he holds you up against the wall. 

“Fuck,” he grunts. You moan. 

“Faster,” you sob, holding onto his hair, his shoulder. “F-Faster.”

“I’m trying,” Kylo says, rocking his hips back and forth. You sigh as he pleases you. His cock feels magical, like something that was made for you and only for you. You imagine Kylo at brothels and inns with random women, and it makes you hate him. How dare he be with anyone but you. How dare he even consider it.

“Tell me again,” Kylo says. “W-What you said earlier.”

You moan, mind foggy with lust. 

“Which thing?” you ask. 

“You know.”

You ponder for a moment, then it clicks. You moan. 

“I loved you,” you breathe, a lump in your throat. “I did. I-I swear it.”

Kylo nods, his eyes meeting yours. 

“I know,” he breathes. You yank on his hair. 

“I hate you, now.”

“I know that, too.”

Your chest is hot and filled with unsaid words of affection. Kylo isn’t ready for them, you know that. He may never be. He’s so angry, so full of hate. You can hardly believe he’s doing this with you at all. How will he be when it is over? What will he do to you?

“I hate you for leaving me,” you breathe. Your orgasm is swelling within you, and you know that Kylo is close, too. 

“You should have joined me,” Kylo says. You cry out. 

“Shut up,” you tell him. He says your name as if it’s a prayer. You shake your head. “Don’t. Don’t. Just make me cum.”

Kylo nods. For once, he has nothing to say, nothing to add. He knows that your time – yours and his – has passed. Destinies have been selected for each of you on opposite sides of this war, and when he is finished with this, he will have to act as if none of it meant anything at all. You’re so angry with him, and he’s so loyal to Snoke – none of it would ever work even if you tried.

But at least you have this. At least you have now.

“I’m close,” Kylo breathes. You nod.

“Me, too,” you say. He pounds into you once, twice, three more times, and he’s moaning your name against your shoulder. You groan at the sound of it. You revel in it, in his desperation, his neediness. You shall never have it again. 

He fills you up just like he used to, and you sigh softly as you reach your own peak. His gloved hand travels down to rub your throbbing clit, and when he does, you moan and buck your hips. 

“F-Fuck . . .” you sigh. Kylo takes you through it, and when it’s all over, he pulls out slowly. You lower your leg and reach for your pants. Kylo takes a small step back, looking at you momentarily before redressing. You let out a soft, shaky breath as you do the same. 

Kylo looks at you once he’s fully clothed, watching you finish getting dressed. 

“Tell me where the map is so I can let you go,” he says. You look at him as you tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear. Your heart breaks in your chest. His does, too. You both know that this is not the ending that you wanted. 

“I can’t,” you say. He says your name. You shake your head. “I made promises, Kylo.” Feeling weak and foolish, Kylo rebinds you to the interrogation chair. You don’t fight him. He opens his mouth to speak, then reaches for his mask and leaves without another word.

Tagging my Star Wars-loving besties: @mrs-gucci @safarigirlsp @babbushka

(Dividers by saradika-graphics)

rynwritesstuff, 2025

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Headcanon/Preference # 37

Gifs NOT mine.

Rating - SFW

Reading time (roughly) - 12 minutes

Year posted - 2025

So yeah I totally killed the reader off in this one... Wanted this one to be angsty. Enjoy.

----------------------------

• Obi-wan Kenobi •

• Obi-wan knew he shouldn't have let you join him on this particular mission.

• He knew something was off about this mission, he had sensed it in the Force.

• But he'd let you join regardless, and now you lay at his feet, bleeding out.

• He quickly dispatched of the enemy, and pulled you into his arms.

• "My love stay with me, you're going to be okay."

• He cradled your head in his free hand, trying desperately to assure you that everything will be okay.

• While also trying to fool himself into thinking you'll be able to pull through.

• As your breathing turned shallow, he kissed your forehead, smiling through the pain.

• He needed to be strong for you.

• And as your eyes fluttered closed, and your chest stilled, Obi-wan felt as if a part of himself had died with you.

• Only then did he allow himself to cry, and Obi-wan Kenobi was never the same.

• Becoming a shell of the man he once was, he eventually leaves the Jedi and roams the galaxy, feeling utterly lost without you by his side.

• Anikin Skywalker •

• Anikin thought he could protect you from anything.

• His one truest love, the one person he would have done anything for.

• This is the most dramatic turn of events for Anikin, the moment when he gave into the dark side.

• Cradling your lifeless body in his arms, Anikin screamed and cried.

• "You can't leave me (Y/n), you can't!"

• And with the aggressive flick of his wrist, he killed those that had taken you from him.

• He was merciless, unforgiving, and beyond angry.

• Anikin felt as if he'd died alongside you, and in many ways he did.

• Alone he laid you to rest.

• His once beautiful blue eyes turned to yellow as he watched you disappear from his life.

• Anikin felt as if your blood was on his hands, as if he failed to protect you.

• He also felt as if he failed you, because if you hadn't loved him as deeply as you did, maybe then you wouldn't have given your life for his.

• The day you died, was the very same day Darth Vader was born.

• Qui-Gon Jinn •

• Qui-Gon knew he shouldn't have grown attached to you, he knew it wouldn't end well.

• The rules about attachments, about love, were in place for this very reason.

• Quickly he took care of the man that had fatally wounded you, and held you close.

• Try as he might with the help of the force he attempted to heal your wounds, unable to do so he tried his best to be strong for you.

• He pecked your lips, and brushed back your hair.

• "You're going to be alright darling, just breath. That's it, just keep breathing."

• His hands shook as he placed his free hand over your wound, trying weakly to stop the bleeding.

• Again he tried using the Force to at least try to ease your pain, to make this easier for you.

• "Just relax my darling, we'll see eachother again."

• Qui-Gon promised you with a weak smile, his heart breaking at the sight of your own equally weak smile.

• His heart breaking further as he felt your breathing slow down considerably, the light in your eyes fading with every shallow breath.

• If there was anything Qui-Gon was grateful for, it was getting to hold you in his arms one last time.

• Darth Maul •

• Maul was foolish enough to think you were untouchable, that you were both untouchable.

• And his world crashed around him as you collapsed to the ground.

• Maul thought he knew pain, but all that he's been through, all that he's done. It was nothing compared to losing you.

• "You'll pay for this!"

• Maul growled at the man that was daring enough to hurt you.

• Ruthlessly he slashed at the man, cutting him limb from limb, and keeping him alive until he was satisfied.

• His rage blinded him, and only subsidied when he heard you wheezing in pain.

• "(Y/n) my star."

• Without another thought he dropped his saber, and rushed to your side, cradling you against his chest.

• He was unfazed by your blood seeping into his robes, firmly placing his hand against your wound, desperately trying to at least slow the bleeding.

• "I'll find you again my star, nothing can keep me from you, nothing."

• Maul promised as he rest his forehead against your own, the connection between you both through the Force, assuring him that he could keep that promise.

• He also swore to take down anyone and everyone that was involved in your demise, whoever that man worked for was as good as dead, and anyone else Maul deemed guilty.

• Maul will destroy worlds to avenge you if he must.

• He kept his eyes locked with yours as you slowly slipped away, his hearts thundering with heartache.

• "We will be together again."

• Maul promised before you gave your final breath, a rage filled scream escaping him as you died.

• And all who knew of Darth Maul, learned that after your demise, the Sith could be far crueler, far darker than he had been when you were still alive.

• Maul eventually turns to the traditions of the Zabrak, and finds a way to reunite with you through the magick of his people.

• It isn't enough, and it'll never be enough, because it is simply a ghost of you.

• But until his demise it is all he can manage, and he will accept that while he cannot hold you anymore, he can at least still see you and speak with you.

• Feral Opress •

• Feral is heartbroken beyond belief.

• You were the only truly good thing in his life, you were his and he was yours.

• Savage had witnessed the whole thing unfold, and for the sake of his brother, he struck down the man that dared to harm you.

• Feral wasn't sure what to do, so he acted on instinct, and laid beside you, pulling you into his arms.

• You had once said laying in his embrace was your favorite thing, the thing that brought you the most comfort.

• And he knew that's all he could do for you, comfort you as you slowly succumbed to your wounds.

• "Sh sh my sweet, just relax, I'm here, I've got you."

• He brushed your hair back in a soothing way, ignoring how much it hurt him to feel your blood painting his skin.

• He peppered kisses across your paling face, his hearts breaking with every kiss.

• You giggled in a pitiful way, coughing a moment later, blood oozed from your mouth.

• And Feral, delicately, lovingly wiped it away.

• "It's okay my sweet, look at me."

• His lip quivered a little as your glossy eyes peered into his own.

• "I love you, don't you ever forget that."

• He pecked your lips, tears escaping him when your final breath wheezed out from your lungs.

• Savage Opress •

• Savage instantly saw red, his hearts filled with rage, and regret.

• He ripped the man who hurt you limb from limb with his bare hands. The man's blood only cooling his temper a little.

• Dropping the carcass carelessly to the ground, he rushed back to your side, and as gently as he could he picked you up and cradled you against his chest.

• With you in his arms, Savage walked carefully across the tundra of the desolate planet you were on, unable, unwilling to just leave you on this wasteland of a planet.

• "Oh little one, my sweet stupid girl. You should have just let me handle him."

• He meant well, he really did. But he was hurt that you would do something so reckless, so selfless.

• You had once promised him forever.

• You giggled weakly, reaching up to caress his handsome face. And Savage melted into your touch.

• His hearts broke, knowing he couldn't save you, not this time.

• His blazing eyes locked onto your pale face, he wanted to commit your face to memory, despite the fact that he already has every part of you committed to memory.

• "I'll see you again little one, through the magick, the Force, I will see you again."

• He promised as he cradled you close, the chill of your skin finally breaking his resolve.

• Savage cried as he held you close, falling to his knees as you struggled to breathe.

• He grew darker that day, much darker. Swearing to fight to the bitter end, until he could be reunited with you once more.

• Kylo Ren •

• The moment you collapsed before his eyes, Kylo felt as if he would die alongside you.

• With a rage filled cry, Kylo cut down the man that hurt you, and threw the rest over a nearby cliff with the Force.

• He fell to his knees beside you, watching helplessly as your blood stained the snow around you.

• "Starlight what have you done?"

• He breathed out as he pulled you into his arms, tears of heartache and rage streaming down his face, his helmet long since abandoned.

• "I couldn't- couldn't let you get hurt."

• You had wheezed out, desperately clutching the deep gash at your side. Kylo's hand rest over yours, desperately hoping to stop the bleeding.

• "I can't live without you."

• Kylo whispered in a broken voice, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

• He squeezed you tighter, as you grew colder and colder in his arms.

• "Don't leave me, please, I can't go on without you."

• Kylo shook in his sorrow and rage, as your breathing became shallow.

• Despite the fact that you were literally dying, you still tried to comfort him, brushing his hair back weakly, your blood staining his pale skin.

• This only served to break his heart further, how can he possibly go on without you?

• Kylo is the most likely to rage an all out war, in hopes of getting himself killed so he could be reunited with you.

• But that's not to say he won't fight to the bitter end.

• Armitage Hux •

• It took everything in Armitage to stay standing, to not collapse and cradle you in his arms.

• If he had done so, he knew your sacrifice would have been in vain.

• But the moment the man is killed by his troopers, he's falling to his knees and pulling you into his arms.

• "GET A MEDICAL DROID NOW!"

• He barks at his men, who rush to follow out his order.

• But it's too late, your once bright eyes are dull and lifeless, having died on impact.

• That doesn't stop Armitage from deluding himself into thinking you'll be okay.

• He's crying, and begging you to wake up, but you don't respond to any of his attempts to stir you.

• "Please angel, wake up, come on."

• He's shaking you, kissing you, and eventually in his desperation he's beating on your chest in an attempt to get your heart pumping again.

• By the time a medical droid comes, he refuses to let you go. His troopers eventually have to tear him away from your body.

• He's kicking and screaming, red in the face as he fights them. But it's no good, they are to strong.

• Armitage has to control himself during your funeral, every instinct in him screaming to not let you go, to fight to bring you back.

• He is much harsher after this, starting arguments more and more with Kylo, and taking every ounce of pain when Kylo throws him across the room with the Force, as if he deserves to be punished.

• He's even trying to goad Kylo into killing him, but the man has a little more restraint than the General had thought.

• Armitage is the most likely to give into his dark depressive thoughts, and take his own life.

• His final thoughts are of you and you alone.

• General Grievous •

• You were his most prized "possession" so to speak, nothing in all of the galaxy meant as much to Grievous as you did.

• "My treasure, no you can't do this, you can't leave me I forbid it!"

• He's killed the man before you even hit the ground, where you lay for mere moments before he's cradling you in his arms.

• He's gentle with you, as he quite literally sprints you to the nearest medical bay.

• "Get out all of you!"

• He barks at the droids, not trusting them to fix what cannot be undone. Certain that he'll be able to save you.

• He's frantic in his attempts to patch you up, almost unaware of the way you gently touch his arm.

• Grievous froze in an instant when you weakly called out his name, his attention now solely on your face, cupping your hand in two of his.

• "What do you need treasure?"

• He asked in a soft voice, ignoring how his voice shook with emotion.

• You simply smiled at him, as if taking in the sight of him was all you cared about in that moment.

• "I-I lo-ve-"

• You tried croaking out, only for your breath to be stolen as you slipped away, dying before his very eyes, trying to declare your love one last time.

• The very ground shook with his scream of despair and heart retching agony.

• From that moment on he took out every ounce of pain and anger at losing you on anyone he deemed a threat.

• Sometimes even on innocent people, who would unknowingly remind him of you.

• He fought dirty and ruthlessly, uncaring if he would get himself killed, or if he would even succeed.

• Grievous also travelled far and wide across the galaxy in an attempt to find some way to bring you back to life.

• He cared not for whatever it might cost, or what he might have to do, who he would have to kill.

• If there is a way he can bring you back, he'll find a way, not matter how long it takes.

----------------------------

[jinx-xxed]

Supreme Leader

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

A/N; The motivation for this one legit came out of nowhere but I can’t even complain 🫶 this is the best smut I’ve done to date I think

Part of Written in the Stars

Summary; You come back to find Snoke gone… and Kylo Ren has taken his place.

Content; NSFW 18+, AFAB reader, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Commander Reader, aftermath of TLJ, angst to sad fluff, original characters, you get promoted!!!, Kylo’s mean, Kylo gets a lightsaber pulled on him, you have a saberstaff, throne room confrontation turns into throne room sex, fucking on the throne, tension, you’re still not Kylo’s biggest fan lol, helmet on, gloves on, calling Kylo by his proper title, orgasm denial, overstimulation, inappropriate use of the Force, very dominant Kylo, fingering, unprotected piv sex, riding Kylo, humiliation, degradation, praise, talking about feelings

Wc; 6.2k

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

There’s a sharp ping that comes from the device imbedded into your metal arm cuffs, overriding the silence mode you have it set on and making you startle. You grumble to yourself, pausing your work to tap a few things on the screen and project a smaller screen above it. There it reads the message: all troops involved with mission-76653 cease operations and return to base immediately. There’s coordinates to the Steadfast attached and not the Supremacy, you note.

“Are you serious?” You snap to yourself. The members of Fleet 74 who came along with you on this expedition stop at your voice, looking back at you curiously. You sigh, lifting a hand and making a circular motion with a finger. “We’re heading back to base, I guess. Direct orders.”

Jaharah begins to protest. “Now? But we haven’t finished-“

“I know. I’m not happy about it either.” You say, a scowl settling nicely onto your features. You traveled all the way out to some planet in the Outer Rim to basically have to go right back. You turn, starting the journey to the speeders you’d left behind that’ll return you to your ship that’s even farther away. The others reluctantly follow. “I hope whatever bastard demanded this realizes we’re still two weeks out.”

Lyra’s hands wring together nervously. “Do you think something bad happened? Maybe the resistance-“

You scoff sharply. “The resistance couldn’t hope to do anything against Snoke’s ship, not as things stand now. This is something else.” Or you’d think so.

You won’t admit that you’re worried about what that ‘something else’ could be.

» ☆ «

The trip back to base was just as annoying as the trip out to the assigned planet was. Traveling in a cramped transport ship for two weeks isn’t the most pleasant thing in the world. But finally, there’s a familiar beeping of the sensors and the filter of hyperspace fades away to reveal the massive Star Destroyer that is the Steadfast sitting amongst the blankness of space.

The ship is brought into the hangar and you immediately get the feeling that something is off. A tension in the atmosphere, a shiver running up your arms beneath your uniform. Stormtroopers stand about in a more stiff manner than usual, and the lower workers of the Steadfast seem to have become as meek as mice. There’s also a tinge of leftover smoke in the air, like something blew up within the Star Destroyer. You glance back at your Fleet members as they exit their ships; they feel it too, but Jaharah shrugs, just as lost as you are.

“General,” comes a sudden voice. You snap back around to see a trooper standing before you. “Your presence is requested in the throne room immediately. And the Fleet’s.”

The throne room? What would Snoke want with you now? And what would he want with your Fleet?

You nod, following the Stormtrooper as he acts like some guide through the Steadfast. You’re sure you could find your way faster than he ever could, but you follow along to be nice. The walk there is long, of course, since the ship is so ungodly huge. The hall turns colder as the throne room doors come into view, and it’s like the tension you felt in the air before becomes about ten times heavier, threatening to weigh you down and prevent you from going forward. There’s Sith Troopers guarding the doors, and you see the members of Fleet 74 who stayed behind waiting there as well.

You look to Chief, your second in command. “What is this about?” You demand in a whisper.

“You’ll see.” She mutters. You don’t like that.

The Fleet gets in to a close formation with yourself at the head. The doors open and you’re led inside. You nearly freeze in your tracks with the sight you’re met with.

Snoke is no more. Instead, sitting in a newly made, imposing throne, is Kylo Ren.

He wears his full uniform, hood pulled over his helmet adorned with the red veins that stick the shattered pieces back together coursing through the black metal. His Knights fan out on either side of the throne, still as statues with their weapons held tightly in their hands. Kylo himself is clearly trying to be every bit as intimidating as Snoke was, with his boots firmly planted on the ground, gloved hands clutching the arm rests, back straight as a board.

You kneel before he even gets the chance to tell you to because somehow, initiating it yourself is less humiliating. You hear the Fleet follow suit behind you. The cold, reflective metal of the floor bites into your knee as you stare at it.

There’s an unnerving silence and you feel his eyes on you. Then, “welcome back, Commander.”

You perk at the title, your head shooting up. “Commander?”

“It seems we’ve both gotten promotions.” Kylo drawls. “Snoke is dead, killed by the Jedi girl in his own ship.”

Liar.

He knows that you know, and he also knows that you know it’s better to keep your mouth firmly shut. The discussion you’ll have later should be interesting.

“I’ve taken his place, and I believe it’s most logical to make you my Commander. Fleet 74 will remain as it is. I’m sure you can handle the extra duties, correct?” He asks.

You dip your head again. “Yes, of course. I’m honored, Com-“ you clear your throat, correcting yourself, “Supreme Leader.” It feels wrong.

He taps a finger against the arm rest. “Then you’re dismissed. You and I will talk later.”

You nod. “Yes, sir.”

You rise with the Fleet, leading them out of the throne room with tense muscles. As soon as the doors close behind you, a few of them clap you on the back, congratulating you on the new position. You can’t share in the celebration, unable to ignore the itch in the back of your mind that you can’t quite get rid of.

What the hell happened while you were gone?

» ☆ «

You’re called back to the throne room an hour later.

You know you don’t have a choice in the matter, the message was very clear in that sense. You either go willingly or you’re sure someone will come along to drag you there. So you put away the report you were filing on your forcefully failed mission and push yourself from your chair. You walk down familiar halls, you try to ignore the tremor in your hands by clenching them into fists.

The path to the throne room is void of life, as if it’s a radioactive zone that nobody wants to enter. The description isn’t far off; it feels like you enter into a cloud of smog that chokes you when you get near and it sends a shiver down your spine. The Dark is heavy, threatening, and thick in the area. It parts for you when you pass through, ever so willing to obey your commands even if it doesn’t belong to you, but you feel it pressing in on every side. You take a deep breath when you see the doors leading into the throne room finally appear around a corner, looming like a beast waiting to pounce.

You push them open without pause, steeling yourself and the nerves that buzz beneath your skin. Your face is set with hard lines, your brows slightly drawn over your eyes and your lips positioned with a small downturn. Cold air and the sharp tang of polished metal hits you when you step inside, the click of your heels against the ever-so shiny floor the only sound.

You quickly take note of the fact that the room is empty. There are no Guards, no Stormtroopers, no Knights. Only him.

There is only Kylo Ren, sitting on a false throne.

You feel his eyes behind that mask trained on you as soon as you enter, crawling along your form and taking in every bit of you. He looks as he did before, his body cloaked in black robes with his hood framing his helmet, hiding it from the light. The throne isn’t the same as Snoke’s, this one has had to be built from scratch like many things after the utter obliteration of the Supremacy. This new chair has clearly taken inspiration given its size, but the energy surrounding it has changed. It isn’t as Dark as people would believe it to be.

You stop a healthy distance away from the dais, your perfect reflection along the floor mirroring your movements. “You requested me, Supreme Leader?” The title feels wrong and foreign on your tongue when referring to him and you struggle to hide the mockery in your tone, though he hears it all the same. There’s a seed of unease that burrows itself in your gut, eager to bloom into something bigger as you stare at the man you’ve worked with for most of your life. All of this was unexpected, and that’s where your problem lies. Kylo did this, he got himself to this position—and you don’t understand it.

His gloved hands brace against the armrests as he stands. You watch him intensely, your body feeling like it’s pulled taut as a bowstring, ready for something that you don’t know about yet. Your breathing stutters in your chest, it quickens with your heartbeat. He walks down those steps, one after another with the grace and power of a leader that knows his strength. There’s a brush against the shields in your mind, a familiar Force signature that’s taunting you, playing a game that you’re not interested in. You recoil from the touch, quickly forcing it away from you and out of your head. It can’t be trusted.

He reaches the same level you’re on but when he tries to take another inch of the space between you, you find your lightsaber in front of you. It screams to life, red beams of plasma coming from either end. It lets out a steady hum through the handle clenched in your palm—a threat, a promise. Kylo pauses where he is and you glare at him over the weapon, the red bouncing off the silver on his helmet.

“What did you do?” You demand, words spat from between your teeth.

“Don’t be stupid.” He sneers, deep voice crackling through the vocoder.

He moves towards you again, unfazed by the deadly lightsaber you have pointed directly at him. His pace is unrelenting and you move yourself backwards, eager to keep the same distance. You bare your teeth, twisting to follow him as he circles you like a predator. “What happened to Snoke?”

There’s a minuscule shake of his head as he observes you. “I told you-“

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Kylo. What did you do?” You say again. You want a straight answer, you want to know what the fuck happened when you were gone. You want to know what happened to the man you were beginning to trust. You remember the hunger he’d had in his eyes when you’d first met him, the insatiable desire for power and to prove himself to whoever dared doubt him. You wonder how that young man would feel seeing himself now like this, standing at the top of the galaxy. And you wonder how much farther he’ll go, if this is where you make the stand for your life because you’re a threat.

“I did what I had to.” He says coldly with nothing but conviction. “You’ll understand.” He got himself behind you, now forcing you to walk in the opposite direction to stay away from him. There’s ripples in the Force, the darkness swirling around you both. You feel him at the shields you keep up, but he’s not trying like he should be to get in. He’s basically just sitting there, occasionally reaching forward to remind you that he’s waiting. It’s a silent plea to be let in, but you won’t listen.

“Snoke was a worthless coward. He was incapable of fighting his own battles. Why do you feel such remorse for him when he’s the one who’s caused you so much pain?” Kylo demands, so blatantly angry at the idea of you sympathizing with Snoke. You don’t. You never would. You’re glad to see that he’s gone, that you’ll never again have to experience dread when returning back to base. Snoke tortured you both but after knowing of him ever since you were a child, hearing him in your head, that seed of unease blooms into fear. What will happen now? What kind of leader could Kylo Ren possibly be?

You don’t have the chance to ponder it further. The backs of your legs hit the seat of the throne after having been forced up the dais by Kylo who now comes so close it causes you to fall unceremoniously into the chair. Your lightsaber is still active, poised at his throat even as he slams both hands on either armrest, caging you in. “I saved us,” he snarls, “and this is how you thank me?”

Even as Kylo’s presence threatens to rob you of breath, his darkness trying to choke you, you don’t cower. Your lightsaber reflects in your eyes in the same way it does his helmet, the heat from the plasma an uncomfortable presence between you. “How am I supposed to trust you?” You practically throw the words in his face, and you can see the way they make him recoil. It’s barely there, so very slight, but he draws back just a fraction of a centimeter and you hear the creak of his gloves as he grips the armrests tighter. It hurts him, it brings you satisfaction. You feel the flinch in the Force, betraying his true emotions to someone like you who’s more attuned than he realizes.

And then it’s gone. He brushes it aside and replaces that emotion with bristling anger. He reaches past your arm, past your lightsaber without a care, and he grips your chin. You want to thrash against him, want to fight against his hold; it would be so easy with the saber you have against his neck. But you can’t bring yourself to. You let him hold you there as he makes sure you’re looking at him, his fingers digging into your jaw.

“He was going to have me kill you.” Kylo says, tone quiet and blunt as he brings forth information he’d been holding inside of himself for so long, letting it consume him. “That’s why I sent you away.” Scenes flash in your mind, brought to you by Kylo so that you can see exactly what terrified him, to see what caused the sense of fear he had that day he gave you your mission.

Snoke would’ve had you both come to the throne room, and you would’ve thought nothing was amiss. But then he would reveal that he wished to further Kylo’s training after his recent failures, and that you were the key to making him stronger. That key was your own death. Snoke would admit as such, that he wants Kylo to kill you. You could feel it—the rage inside of you, the despair. Snoke had always favored Kylo over you because Kylo had a name behind him, he had a legacy. You were just a kid with a meaningless family that he picked up off a worthless planet that turned out to have more potential than anyone could’ve ever dreamed. You’d surpassed Kylo in more than enough trials to prove that and yet… it didn’t matter. You were to die to push someone else forward.

“You would’ve fought,” Kylo murmurs, briefly breaking you from the vision, “but you would’ve lost.”

You see what he means. You turned on Snoke, you lashed out with everything you had in you as the Praetorian Guards advanced. You killed all of them, your will to live greater than their own strength, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough against Snoke, who forced you to your knees even as he struggled to do so from your protesting. You could’ve been something, you could’ve been more, but you were just fodder for the machine. You at least looked Kylo in the eyes with your chin held high when he lifted the hilt of his lightsaber. The vision cut out directly after that, and you find yourself heaving for breath.

Your own lightsaber is gone, taken from your grip by Kylo while you watched your death play out. The anger that boils in your gut almost feels misplaced because that future never came to pass, and it never will. Because of what Kylo did. He sent you on a convenient mission to the Outer Rim, as far away from Snoke as possible. Then he took his chances back here, trying to figure out some way to save you, and then the perfect opportunity was laid at his feet.

He keeps his hold on you, forcing you to watch through his own eyes and learn of what he’d gone through. Rey had shown up. The young Jedi girl actually had the gall to deliver herself right to her enemy. She definitely has guts, you’d give her that. She tried and failed to get Kylo to turn away from the Dark Side, trying to make him see the Light. But it didn’t work when his thoughts remained on you and keeping you from Snoke’s grasp. He was too focused on the fact that if the future he saw came to fruition, he knew he’d lose himself entirely. He wouldn’t be able to bear it.

So he used Rey in his schemes, used her as a distraction of sorts. He used her to finally kill Snoke, to free himself and you from his reign. He couldn’t believe it actually worked, that Snoke was truly lying on the floor severed in half. It was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, a ghoul finally banished from the corners of his mind. It was peaceful, but only for a moment. Him and Rey fought the Guards, and then he tried to get back his grandfather’s lightsaber once more to no avail. The memories from then on are bright flashes, fuzzy images, and explosions—nothing you can make out.

You’re pulled from Kylo’s memories, your jaw slack and your heart racing. It feels unreal, something you can’t believe because you weren’t here to witness it. But if you had been here, you would’ve died. “Now you see, don’t you? I told you that you’d understand. Yet you still can’t bring yourself to trust me. It just disgusts you, doesn’t it?” He says lowly, jabbing at you. “How could you ever bear to trust someone like me?” Someone who saved your life, he wants to add with his mocking tone.

There’s a moments pause where you stare at each other, unsure of what to think or say. You wish you could see him, could see his eyes and his face. Your nervous hand reaches up, attempting to get the latch on his helmet to take it off, but he stops you abruptly. He grips your wrist firmly in a leather-clad hand. You try and fumble for words. “Kylo, I-“

“No. You’ll address me as Supreme Leader. You need to get used to that title.” He snaps, forcing you all the way back into the throne as he comes even closer, his boot sliding between your own and forcing your legs apart. Your breath hitches when he takes both your wrists in one hand, pinning them above your head so you can’t do anything stupid like trying to shove him off or drawing your lightsaber on him again.

The rise and fall of your chest quickens when cold air kisses the skin of your stomach, your layers shoved up by his free hand. The leather of his glove is rough as it skates along the newly exposed area on its way further down. His fingers catch on the waistband of your pants and they don’t hesitate to slip beneath the fabric. Your body feels like it’s been set on fire, your spine pressed so firmly against the back of the throne that there’s nowhere else for you to go, even as you try to scoot away from his burning touch.

You jolt when he grazes your clit, your teeth digging so sharply into your lip that you think you taste blood. He’s moves slow and with purpose, knowing exactly what he’s doing when a low groan rumbles from the back of your throat. You can tell by the way he’s so willing to taunt and tease, by the way his huge body covers your own and boxes you in, that this isn’t going to be good for you. The pad of his index finger traces slow, tortuous circles around your entrance while the heel of his palm makes occasional, light taps against your clit to keep you aware, to keep you anticipating.

“You love to say how much you hate me, and yet you’re always so eager for me.” Kylo spits, his voice guttural when it comes through his helmet, struggling to get past the vocoder as more than just lustful static. He can feel how wet you are, how easily the dark leather of his gloves slides between your folds. His finger finally plunges into your waiting cunt not a second later, a gasp rattling your body. It’s a welcome feeling, one that finally gives the throbbing of your walls something to focus on instead of just aching, empty space.

The thrusts of his finger are lazy, staying at the same easy pace even as you squirm. He’s more generous to your clit now at least, his palm staying firmly against it, providing the friction of rough leather and stitched seams with each in and out of your hole. You whine in pleasure when he finally adds a second finger, the thick digits filling you more completely. They go farther, sink deeper into your heat, finding and pressing against the spot you’re never able to get on your own. Your hands struggle against the hold he has on them, your attempts at freeing yourself as your body writhes having been unsuccessful. You know you’ll have bruises in the shapes of his fingers across your wrists from the strength of his grip.

Kylo enjoys seeing you like this, completely under his mercy and so, so very compliant. It’s rare when he gets what he wants from you—your submission—so he’s relishing in it now while it lasts. His enjoyment is obvious from the erection creating a tent in his pants. You have to avert your eyes from it, trying not to think of the way he’d use it, the way he’d ram into you again and again and fill you with his desire. You can feel your own mounting, a knot in your gut that grows bigger with his ministrations, threatening to come undone.

You’re almost there. You’re standing on the ledge, leaning over the side, ready to fall off into bliss. Just a few more thrusts of his fingers, a few more circles around your clit, and your orgasm will be washing through you. But it never comes despite the way he continues to fingerfuck you, despite the way you can feel it right there and so ready to burst. It’s like something’s blocking it on purpose, a dam built with the sole mission of denying your release. Your eyes snap open, finding Kylo. He huffs a laugh. “What, you think I’d let you cum that easily?” It pisses you off how much he’s liking this. “I’ve barely even started.”

You practically growl at him, lip drawing up to reveal your sharp teeth, but you know he just finds it amusing. Especially when you try to grind your hips down onto his fingers as if that’ll be enough to break the Force hold he has on your body. You can’t move much beyond that with the way he looms over the throne, his legs pinning yours and your hands still stuck above your head. An involuntary whimper rips from your throat when he moves his thumb to your clit, rubbing at it with more purpose and ferocity and a third finger managing to slip into your eager cunt. Your feet scrabble against the floor, trying to find some kind of purchase as the denial of an orgasm makes you dizzy. You try and swallow the drool pooling in your mouth, the breath of your panting fogging the metal panels on Kylo’s helmet from your proximity.

You give in to begging once tears prick your eyes. Your words are barely more than a whisper. “Please- please, Kylo, just-“

There’s a harsh thrust up into your cunt that has your words falling silent, instead replaced by a sharp, high pitched yelp. “What did I fucking tell you?” He demands, pressing even harder against that spot along your walls that has you seeing stars. You feel like you’re about to explode from the built up tension in your body. “What did I tell you to call me?”

You glare at him, your eyes full of all the fury you can’t manage to get out with your voice. You don’t want to say it. You don’t want to bend to this man who’s held such a ridiculous amount of power over you for what feels like your entire life. Your teeth grind together in defiance, even as your face burns. He hums at that and seems almost happy that you’re going against him. He does love a good fight.

His fingers stall and begin to slowly slide out of you, ready to leave you completely empty and with a simmering need that won’t be taken care of. You jolt, eyes widening. It’s in that moment you find you don’t actually give a fuck about defying him, you just need him to stay in you. “Supreme Leader!” You practically shout, so sudden it even startles yourself. Your next words are quieter, more restrained. “Supreme Leader, please..”

You moan in relief when his fingers take back their positions deep inside your cunt, the sounds of your slick sloshing around filling the empty throne room. “Good,” Kylo says roughly, clearly struggling himself. Your obedience is music to his ears and it does nothing to soothe the ache of his cock still restrained by his pants. It just makes it worse. “Say it again.”

You hate him. You’re probably going to kill him. “Supreme Leader, please-“ you have to choke back your humiliation and death threats, “please let me cum.”

This time Kylo groans, the desperate sound crackling through his helmet. He thrusts his fingers one more time, swiping his thumb along your clit, before he lets you go. The release is instant. Something akin to a scream comes from you with your orgasm, the world around you feeling like it’s shattering. You can barely breathe, pure pleasure wracking your body and sending lightning through your limbs. The dam finally broke, and it feels so fucking good. The unbearable pressure is gone, bliss washing through you like a wave from the ocean as you cum around his hand. “See how nice I am?” Kylo says with heavy breath, barely able to contain himself. His eyes are locked on to where his hand disappears into your pants; he can feel your cum pooling on his glove. “How well I reward you when you’re good?”

It’s all you can do to nod dumbly, too blissed out with your ears still ringing to really comprehend what he’s saying. You don’t resist when your pants are pulled off, your underwear entirely soaked through and baring your sensitive, wet cunt to the cold air. You shiver. Your cloak is tossed aside, your top layers undone to reveal your upper body. You’re barely more than a rag doll when Kylo braces an arm against your back, using it to scoop you out of the throne so he can take your spot. His zipper is pulled down, his boxers lowered so his cock is finally freed, painfully erect and dribbling precum.

He sinks you down to the hilt without hesitation. All the air is punched from your lungs, your body tensing as his length fills you to capacity. Kylo’s appreciative groan is loud and throaty, his fingers digging bruises into your hips. You have to pause for a moment to adjust to the sudden intrusion, feeling so full it’s like you’re not allowed to breathe. Your lips are parted, your nails digging into the ribbed sleeves on his forearms for purchase. His body is warm and muscular beneath your hands.

You struggle to move, still feeling the after effects of your orgasm, your limbs weak and trembling. Kylo makes no effort to help you, his helmet instead tilted up towards you expectantly. “If you want it you’ll have to work for it, Commander.” He says with some twisted amusement. You briefly consider how easy it’d be to reach forward and wring his neck.

But you put that aside, swallowing your broken pride. You unfortunately want his cock more than that. The first thrust is bliss, pleasure filled shocks coursing through you like a live wire. You and Kylo moan in tandem, both of you finally getting some form of relief. Your movements are slow at first, trying desperately to get used to the feeling of his cock splitting you open. His hands travel up your sides, his left glove still soaked in your juices and leaving a trail along your skin. He finds your breasts, encompassing them with large, warm palms that have your head tilting back and your eyes closing. He pinches your stiffened nipples between his fingers, rolling them experimentally as you whine and arch into his touch. Your pace on his cock is steady now, finally having figured out a rhythm.

“Touch yourself.” Kylo orders suddenly, words sounding choked.

Your gaze snaps to him, brows furrowing slightly. “What?”

“Touch yourself.” He snaps again. “If you’re smart, you’ll listen to what I say.”

You glower, your face burning even hotter. He knows you don’t enjoy doing it, which is giving him all the more reason to make you. You hesitate, both not wanting to do as he demands and also not wanting to see whatever repercussions will come if you don’t. Your shaking fingers reach down and find your clit, the bud still sensitive and aching from Kylo’s earlier abuse. Your lip is between your teeth, trying to keep back your moans as you run circles over your clit. The stimulation quickly builds and you can feel that familiar knot forming in your gut again.

Kylo’s helmet tilts up and you can feel his eyes on you. You try not to meet them. “You look pretty like this, you know? Finally fucking listening to me.” He rumbles, giving your nipple a particularly hard pinch and making you writhe in his grip. “Say my name.”

You try to ignore him, ignore his stupid power trip and ego boost. But then he makes his move—one hand comes down to grip your wrist and the other is firm on your hip, completely stalling your movements and messing up your concentration. Your climax steadily begins to fade, a loud and frustrated groan coming from you. “This is stupid.” You snarl at him.

He doesn’t back down. “Say it.”

A harsh breath blows through your nose. You move your head so you can look past him, not wanting to admit that this is what he’s bringing you to. “Supreme Leader.” You mutter, your hips shifting to try and get friction with his cock still hard inside your cunt. He puts a stop to that quickly with a harsh squeeze.

Kylo lets go of your wrist to instead grab your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Again.”

“Supreme Leader.” You grit out.

“One more time.”

You grab his forearm, your nails digging deep enough and with such fury that they’ll leave marks. It’s the least you can do. “Supreme Leader.”

“Good girl.” He murmurs, thumb running along your lower lip. You want nothing more than to sink your teeth into it until you taste blood. “You’ve done so well.”

His following thrust up into you has you forgetting what insult you were going to say. Both of his hands rest on your hips now, keeping you steady as he fucks you mercilessly. You bend forward, gripping his shoulders as some kind of anchor, punctuated moans spilling endlessly from your mouth. His helmet is downturned, the forehead of it resting against your sternum as he watches his cock disappear inside of your cunt, slick smearing along the front of his pants. He uses his Force to swirl against your clit, creating a sort of buzzing sensation that quickly brings that knot back and sets your blood ablaze.

“A commander reduced to a fucking cocksleeve. So good for my dick, aren’t you?” He breathes, words made even more gravelly by his vocoder. “Fuck.” You can only nod along and whimper, your brain fucked into useless mush.

You grip him tighter when your second orgasm finally bursts, your walls spasming around his cock and making him curse even louder. Cum gushes from you, dripping along your folds and making a further mess of Kylo’s pants. You cry out when he keeps thrusting into you, everything throbbing and overly sensitive for his harsh pace. You can’t think straight, you can only dig your teeth into the padded armor of his shoulder as tears well and threaten to fall.

His cock twitches, his hips stuttering. He gets in a few more thrusts before he’s cumming at last, a slew of cusses mixed with grunts and groans falling from his mouth. You hum in pleasure when you feel his warm spend filling your cunt to the brim, effectively coating your walls white.

Neither of you can move for a couple of minutes after. You don’t know how long you sit there for, your body finally relaxing and your eyes closing. He doesn’t pull out, his cock softening inside you and making sure you stay plugged full of his cum. You’re tempted to fall asleep before Kylo’s hands are leaving your hips and instead coming up to undo the latches on his helmet. There’s a hiss of air as the mechanisms slide out of place and he’s able to take it off. His black hair falls around his face, sweat drenching the ends.

You struggle to lift yourself up, but you want to see him. Your hands shake from exhaustion when they reach forward, taking his cheeks in your palms. He looks so tired. His sigh tickles your skin, his eyes closing at your touch. He seems significantly more relaxed now, his body letting go of its tension and his Force signature becoming something calmer. You can feel the weight shift as he leans into your right hand. His arms circle around your back, somehow pulling you even closer.

He swallows before speaking. “I was… afraid.” He mutters. “Afraid without you here… and yet I had to do it. Otherwise I’d lose you.”

He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his lips gentle as they brush along your collarbone. “I was afraid that I would fail. That it would’ve all been for nothing.” He continues. He sounds so quiet, quieter than you’ve heard him in a while. You run your fingers through his hair. “I just… I’m glad I sent you away.”

“Me too.” You mumble, your eyes trained on the back wall as your mind runs. You’re finally coming to terms with the fact that your death had almost been set in stone at the hands of Snoke. Coming to terms with the fact that your lifelong teacher was going to have you executed by his star pupil, and the fact that Kylo decided to save you and possibly get himself killed instead. The fact he did everything he could to make sure you wouldn’t come back to a death sentence. You swallow thickly. “Thank you.”

He stills at those words. They’re the last thing he expected to hear from you and it makes him uneasy. He doesn’t say anything, and that’s okay. You know he can’t. Besides, it’s easy to gather what he wants to say from his Force in this moment of vulnerability. An apology is at the forefront; an apology for taking things out on you again. He doesn’t regret it, but he didn’t mean for it to happen. Then underneath that there’s longing that’s still lingering from when you were gone. He wanted nothing more than to see you, to know you were okay. He’s more than happy to have you in his arms now.

You pull yourself out of his thoughts, blowing out a tired sigh and resting your head on his shoulder. He wraps his cape around you to protect your mostly-naked form from the chill of the throne room, his warmth bleeding into you. You’re content to just sit there in his lap, and he seems content to let you. He relaxes back into the throne, cradling you against him with his soft breathing ruffling the hairs on the top of your head.

You’re together. You’re alive. That’s all you need in this moment.

[dani-onearth]

Merciful & Misnamed

Kylo Ren x fem reader

Part One - [Part Two] - [Part Three] - [Part Four] - [Part Five] - [Part Six] - [Part Seven] Summary: You're his prisoner now, and he doesn't know how to look at you without becoming someone he swore he killed. You're still here and he thinks he saved you but the silence between you is thick with old affection and love. How do you mourn someone that's standing right there? Warnings: Pure angst! Strong language, shame induced eating behaviors Word Count: 5.12k Authors note: I haven't written fanfic in years but I just watched all of Star Wars again and Kylo Ren got me thinking... I tried making the reader sassy, hurt maybe. English isn't my first language and tenses get me really confused still (I gotta learn by now). Also, if I got any lore wrong please let me know! I'm not deep into the fandom but I'd love to learn.

It's funny what can entertain you after a while. Sitting alone in a dark and cold corner helped you find a pile of old dust; handy for doodling on the concrete floor before it gets blown away by a sneeze or stepped on by your dirty boots. You've been keeping count of the days as best you can, but the troopers took your wristcom when you were captured approximately twelve days ago. You wish you'd had some other way of timekeeping that didn’t warrant rubbing your fingernail on the wall until it marked. Now you have no choice but to bite at your bleeding nail when the dust gets boring. You count stormtroopers like sheep when they pass your cell door through the sliver of a window you’re lucky to have.

You wonder if your friends are still in the cells next to you. If they get the same joyless ration bars once a day. The same five minutes in the refresher–ten every third day when they give you a fresh prisoner's uniform and access to a brutally cold shower.

How generous.

Twelve days on this ship and you haven't spoken a word to anyone. Not a stormtrooper, a general, a captain, or the damned Kylo Ren. Thank the stars. The masked monster has quickly become a dark plague through the galaxy. All you see is the covered face of a coward. A traitor. The being that engulfed the man you used to know and turned him into a greedy and power hungry and a soulless shell of a person. You hoped you never had to see him again.

Too bad you can feel him.

Near, somewhere. A pull from all directions. It was agonizing knowing he was on this ship with you. Did he know you were here too?

The buzz from your cell door turned your head to see two stormtroopers at your door, holding restraints.

“Prisoner. Come with us.”

Three resistance members in front and two behind you walked alongside a stormtrooper. Heads hung low, trudging their feet along the metal floors, forced back into the dirty clothes you were captured in. The U-wing to Takodana was just supposed to be a supply run. Quick and easy—you were excited to go and barter for new boots. Instead, your ship was taken by the first order. They killed half your shipmates, and the other half were here with you; walking in a straight line down the empty corridors… until you halted, jerked back by the arm of your appointed guard. You stood on a platform in front of dozens of stormtroopers and generals.

“Against the wall.” One ordered, and you reluctantly had to agree. You weren't necessarily in a position to run. Not with a dozen blasters surrounding you in the hands of the enemy. You friends did the same.

The wall was cold and smooth. You look over at the pilot from your ship, standing next to you in defeat. “Malik.” You whispered as quietly as you could, but your voice was hoarse from how little you’ve used it recently. “What's going on?” You asked, but you knew what this was. The holocam pointed directly at the lineup of you rebels. You were going to be a message to the galaxy. Join or be killed.

Malik only opened his mouth before a march was heard down the hallway. Loud steps, commanding steps. The sea of troopers parted to reveal Captain Phasma and General Hux in his perfectly pressed garments and shiny new shoes. Wearing a smirk you wanted to peel off you a dull knife as you stood restrained, likely by his orders.

He laid his eyes on all of you, his lip turning up before he started. “Traitors to the order. Enemies against stability. Do you feel proud? Do you feel… accomplished?” He chuckled.

Disgusting.

“Your so-called resistance is dying. It’s scattered and desperate. Your rebel friends will call you martyrs. Heroes, even.”

“We’re not fighting to be remembered, Hux. We’re fighting so we don’t have to live under your flag.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you had the chance to stop.

Hux fixes on you, stepping over to be in front of you, only inches away. “Then you’ll die under it.”

You charge forward only enough so he’d stumble back; a stormtrooper yanking you back against the wall just as quickly.

Hux cleared his throat, stepping away when he heard footsteps. Footsteps that rattled in your brain. They echoed and pulled at your chest. The familiar feeling turned your gaze away from Hux to see a dark helmet floating through the parting crowd of white ones until it stood in front of the wall of rebels. Kylo Ren, hands clasped behind his back, draped in heavy wool and woven fibers.

“These are all the rebels captured, General Hux?” The mechanical growl still sounded like Ben. The voice modulator did its best, but it was a voice you used to seek out; a voice you hadn’t heard in almost six years.

“Yes. Four were killed upon capture. Seven left.” Hux responds. “Today, the first order sends a message.”

The black helmet scanned the rebels and you know he sees you now. Kylo Ren has gone still. Your eyes are locked on the slit in his mask where his eyes would be. You won’t look away, you refuse to. Your anger for him is tired and heavier than rage. You’re sure he can see that. You’re sure he can feel it.

“These seven traitors–”

“–Six traitors.” Kylo cuts off Hux who glances sideways. “The fourth one. Remove her.”

“Sir?” Phasma turns, uncertain.

Hux turns his back to the lineup as a flicker of uncertain movement passes through the troops. Even your friends shifted beside you.

“Now.” He says, sharper.

You didn’t move until two troopers closed in on you and you jerked back, almost resisting them. Not because you wanted to die… but you didn’t want to be saved by him.

Hux grits his teeth at Kylo. “May I remind you, this operation was given by High Command. To revoke the sentence of one of these rebels would be–"

“This is not a discussion, General Hux.” Kylo swivels to face you, fighting against the guards, grunting as you use all of the fight inside of you. “Take her back to her cell.”

“No!” You scream. Your rebel friends begin to resist themselves before forcefully being brought to their knees. “Let me go!” Your screams mean nothing to the army of troops as the two dragged you away. You heard Hux call for the broadcast to start, the troopers got their blasters out, and Ren just watched as you were dragged away with your feet kicking before he just… walked away. Sounds travel through these halls. You learned that as you heard Hux giving his speech, and then six echoing shots.

You didn’t stop fighting, even after they threw you back on the familiar dusty floor. You pounded on the door, screaming, crying. You knew there was no point. Your head hurt. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t blink. The silence was louder than the executions themselves. The ones you fought beside, trained with, shared your rations with. Gone. Not in battle, but lined up like fucking cattle while you were dragged away like some untouchable exception.

It didn’t feel like mercy. It was theft. Like your life was paid for with theirs. You had no say in this trade off. This wasn’t compassion from Ben, it was possession from Kylo, a man you do not wish to know.

Days went by. You wouldn’t know how many since you stopped keeping track and the cell lights didn’t dim at night, but rations slid through like a cycle and three uneaten bars stacked up by the door.

You assumed he'd come by and say something to you. Maybe even just to shoot you himself. You wished he did but stopped wondering why you were alive. Stopped pretending it meant anything. Because he never came.

Until now.

The door hissed open. You sat clutching your knees and mindlessly pushing the dust from side to side. You knew who was there, blocking the light from the overheads like a dark storm cloud. You could feel that he was just there, at the door, looking at your back and hoping you’d face him.

But you wouldn't. They’d have to break your neck to make you say something first. The silence was only in your ears, but the force that connected you both rattled inside.

“It’s cold in here.”

You barked out a dry laugh and spoke into the corner you faced. “Three days. Three days and that's what you open with?”

Silence.

“Did you forget which cell you left me in or were you hoping I’d be grateful when you finally showed your face?” You turned your head to see him, masked as ever behind the doorway. He couldn't even be inside the room with you. “Or your fucking helmet, I guess.”

“This is who I am now.” He stepped through the threshold of the door and you stood up to look at him better.

“Is it? I don’t think it is. This is who you’re pretending to be, Ben.”

“Ben is dead.”

“You think hiding your face makes you more than what you were? Does it make what you did easier?” You ignored his last words. “You’re not powerful in that… thing. You’re just a coward that couldn’t face me without it.”

Of course he had nothing to say. He doesn’t even know why he did it. Ben is dead, is what he tells himself… what he tells anybody who dared ask about him. But looking at you, it’s not how Kylo Ren should look at a Rebel. It's not indifference or rage. It’s how Ben would look at you, before. The girl he would sneak out of his chambers with back at the Jedi temple; and he’d do it with a smile he tried his best to hide, even jogging to get to your secret spot quicker.

You felt the softness in him, but to hell with that. You felt nothing for this beast right now. You knew he knew that. You couldn't ever hide how you felt from him, it was impossible. You stood away from him, but made sure he had to look you in the eye now.

“You were spared.” He spoke

“I was kept.” It came out like venom. “Was that supposed to mean something?”

“It meant something to me.” He said it so softly.

You toed closer to him, unblinking. “Then say it without the mask.” And you waited. Stared. Hoped he would, against your better judgement. But he was rooted in his stance and the helmet stayed on. All you could give him was a scoff and a whisper. “That’s what I thought.”

You sank down on the hard metal slab you were supposed to sleep on.

“I saved you.” His pitch is now demanding. He came closer to you with harsher steps. “I saved you.” His pointed finger was a verdict, an accusation. His demeanor changed and now you were talking to Kylo Ren.

“No.” You said, sitting up. “Ben did. Kylo just wants to be thanked for it.”

He froze. Something in him twitched and for a second, you thought he'd lash out and the room would explode in a force-filled rage.

Instead, he straightened. Colder now. Mask heavier somehow. “Ben is dead.”

All this rage. All this pain and agony, and somehow all you wanted was to see behind the small plane where his eyes would be. His eyes. But you couldn’t. “Then so is whatever part of me cared.”

He stood in place for a breath, two breaths, then pivoted slowly to face the door. His cape dragged an arc across the cell floor, but didn’t storm off. Not yet. His helmet tilted down at the uneaten ration bars. A sneer crept into his voice. “You think starving in a cell makes you nobel? That it’s going to prove something? All it proves is that I should’ve left you with the rest of them.”

“Then why didn’t you?” You asked to the back of his head, slowly standing up. “If you wanted me dead, I would be. If you wanted me grateful, you would've never left me here to rot. So what is it? What do you want, Kylo?!” You said a name that meant nothing to you—like it was a joke—voice rising with every syllable. “To be… forgiven? Worshipped? You said you spared me and then walked away. Now you’re angry? Because I didn’t make your mercy feel… what? Worth it?” By the time you felt it, tears had already carved a path down your cheeks. You wondered when they started.

His gaze lingered on the untouched rations, piled up like an insult. Without a word, he lifted a hand and the bars rose, trembling in the air, wrappers crinkling under the invisible pressure before they just snapped with a hard crack.

You flinched.

He flung them as forcefully as he could against the wall, each one exploding into useless, powdered debris. Protein crumbs smeared across the durasteel wall; a tantrum pretending to be power.

He didn't say a thing, or look at you again. He just walked out, cloak flowing behind him into the harsh light of the hallway, rage trailing like smoke that was cut off by the slam of your cell door.

You pressed your lips together to keep in your shock. Not fear, because it was so… childish. All that power and he used it to throw a tantrum over prison food. It was just so small.

And he was the one who was supposed to spare you? No. He didn’t spare you. He just couldn't bring himself to kill you. And now because you weren't grateful, he’d rather see you starve than feel like he doesn't have control.

Coward.

You hate to admit that you ate the bits of protein crumbs off the floor, but you found yourself picking hairs off of little pieces. You stared at them for hours, like they just belonged to the floor now. You tried pressing tighter against the wall and closing your eyes, pretending the ache in your stomach wasn't real. But it was. It twisted and burned.

And it wasn’t just hunger, it was shame. Shame because you knew you were gonna do it.

You wish more than anything you had time to stand up. To straighten out from your hunched position, finger curled around a stale, dusty, sticky crumbling piece of ration bar from the corner.

You froze for a moment, then sat up, slow and deliberate, but didn’t stand—and didn't drop the food. Just turned and looked at him.

He stood in the doorway, half-lit by the corridor behind him. Helmet on, hands by his sides.

“What do you want now?” You asked, voice rough.

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he gazed down at the crumbs, the dust, the scattered remains of his pathetic destruction. Maybe his posture shifted but you couldn't tell.

“There’s a proper meal waiting.” He said at last.

Finally, you stood to your feet, wiping your hands against each other hoping to regain your dignity. “Here to feed the animals yourself now? Your little stunt got you demoted?”

“It’s in my quarters. You’re invited.”

“Oooh, invited, huh?” You sang, taunting his olive branch. “I don’t need another handout from you, Ren.”

“You clearly do. You have ten minutes to make yourself look presentable.”

You noticed his boot crunch under some of your ration as he walked out, leaving you to scoff at the closed door. “Sure, I’ll… make sure to brush the dirt off my knees.”

You looked down at yourself. Torn sleeves, stained pants, crumbs still caught in the corner of your mouth.You only got to wipe some of it off before two guards came through the door. Behind them a third figure–a young officer who didn’t speak, just held out a folded bundle of clothing.

“What’s this?” You asked, not taking the pressed linens right away.

“For the meal.” He said simply.

You laugh dryly. “Funny. Does it come with a fork to stab him with?”

That didn’t land. The officer didn't even hint at a smile.

“Kidding… I guess they don’t brainwash you all with a sense of humor.”

He twitches his lip. “You have ten minutes.”

They left swiftly, leaving you to look at the garments. Black, clean, simple. No rank, no insignia. It wasn’t meant to make you look beautiful. It was meant to make you look harmless or worse—like you belonged there.

You were brought through hallways and corridors, hands cuffed behind your back. You peek into any room you can, hoping that when you escape back to the rebellion one day you could give them at least some intel. That you weren't put through all of this for nothing. The robes were looser than expected, and you kept the sleeves rolled at the elbow, just in case you might still need to throw a punch or two. Rolling up the pant legs didn’t stay the way you hoped as you tripped constantly with the rough hand gripping your forearm.

You can only assume you’ve arrived when you’re standing in front of a set of tall, seamless doors. The guards stop, one reaching toward a panel. You barely have time to readjust your footing before the door slides open with a sharp hiss and you trip.

Your foot had caught the extra length of fabric on your ankle. You groan as you lay on your side, your own hands unable to help you up. From the ground, you see Kylo stand up sharply from his seat immediately as the trooper hauls you up by your elbow roughly. Kylos elbows shot back protectively.

You stagger again trying to right yourself. “Hey—watch it.” You hissed, yanking your arm back. “I can walk from here, thank you.”

Kylo stood near the far wall, half lit by vertical stripes of cool light that ran along the interior of the room. The table was set. Two chairs. Two plates. No guard or aids inside. Just him sitting alone at a really long table.

Just Kylo.

He started to walk toward you with deliberate steps and your breath caught in your throat as his posture shifted… the tension in his shoulders. Subtle, but sharp. A tell you recognized from another life.

“Uncuff her.” The dangerous grumble from his helmet had your breath caught in your throat.

“She–”

“Uncuff her, and leave.” Brutal.

They didn’t question it again; they just released your hands and walked out. You didn't say thank you, and he didn’t expect you to. You straightened out your robes, eyes flickering toward the set up. You could feel his eyes on you even if his helmet made it impossible to actually see them.

“So,” You started, glaring, “no other guests?”

“No.” He stated simply. “This isn’t a performance”

You scoff. “Could've fooled me.” You look around. The dim lighting, the impeccable symmetry of the forks and knives, the domed plates, everything just seemed perfect. “This all looks so… theatrical.” You stood behind your chair all the way across from him, but didn’t sit. “Is this supposed to be some sort of twisted date?” Your chair was so far from his, all the way on the other end.

He says nothing. Shocker.

“I mean, you wanted me all dressed up, right? To eat like nothing happened. Like I'm not still tasting dirt from my cell floor. Like the people I love didn't just get executed for being exactly where I was standing.”

He stares before lowering himself down into his seat. “Sit.”

You held his stare for a long moment before doing the same. “You’re used to people doing as you say.” You unfold your napkin. “I bet somewhere deep inside you miss when someone doesn't flinch.”

“You flinched earlier.”

You smile without any humor behind it. “So you were watching.”

Another pause. You didn’t know Ben to have such a stoic presence. Such little humor, wit, likability. Sure, he was always a little more rebellious and defiant than any of the other Jedi’s, but it was charming. Who is this man? What did he do to the man you loved?

Before long, you had something else to say. More questions. “So what’s all this really about? You drag me out of my cell, have six people executed, bring me here, feed me, clothe me. Why?”

He fiddled his finger together, posture confident and distant. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“Want me to be civil? Hm?” You lean forward, elbow on the table. “Fine. No problem, sir. I’ll be civil. Let’s talk. Lets act like, I dunno, just two people who used to know each other. Tell me, Kylo Ren, how does a Jedi turn into this.” You gesture to the full monstrosity of him. The mask. The robes. The looming silence and refusal to converse. “And in exchange, I’ll tell you how it feels to be the one left behind.”

“I was never going to be the Jedi they wanted.” He said finally. “Not like Luke Skywalker—”

“—No one was asking you to be Luke, you just needed to be yourself.”

“Myself?” He tutted behind the vocoder. “Explain that to me. My grandfather was Darth Vader.” He stood now, pacing menacingly behind his roughly discarded chair. “It’s inside of me. It always has been. I spent my whole life being warned, watched, judged. Like they were just waiting for the day to come. I didn’t fall like you think I did, I stopped pretending. That’s not weakness. That’s power.”

You stood too now, a lump in your throat swelling. “Power? That’s running. You ran from the only people who ever gave a damn about you.”

“I made a choice.”

“You threw away who you were.”

“Who I was was a lie.” He slammed his hand on the table, rattling and skewing the perfectly placed settings.

Maybe you saw him then. Not Ben, Kylo. It wasn’t just arrogance, but a man so desperate to matter in this galaxy that he was willing to destroy everything to prove he was worth something.

Your voice dropped. “Is that what this is about?” You wiped a stray tear, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. “You needed to be someone so badly you’d burn down civilization to leave a fucking footprint?”

“I am someone.”

“What you are is a coward in a helmet.” You’re basically on the table at this point, arms splayed, torso leaned completely over your plate, knocking over your glass at some point.

The lights overhead flickered, the force rippled across the room, it was unmistakable—like a giant astroid just passed over you. Your throat went dry as you watched him steady himself slowly before he sat again. You stayed standing, breath quick and tempered.

“You’re angry.” He said.

“I’m furious.”

“At me.”

You cackled. “No, I'm just yelling at the wall.”

“Then say it.” You could hear his gritted teeth.

“Oh, you want the truth?”

“Always.”

“I missed you.” That cracked something in your voice; in your chest. “And I hated you for it. I used to lay in my bed and just dream that you would come back and tell me it was all a lie, or that—that you were a goddamn spy, that this,” you waved to the mask, “was some sick, twisted, disgusting dream. But now I’m here. And you’re real.”

His hands twitched on the table. “I gave you everything.” He said it lowly. “I warned you not to follow me or look for me—”

“—Warned me?! You abandoned me—”

He shot up. “—I spared you. Twice now!”

“And you want a medal for that? Because you didn’t slice my head off at the temple or gun me down on a broadcast?”

“You are alive because of me.”

“And thousands are dead because of you.”

Enraged, he lifted decorative rock across the room, it flew to a wall and broke into a million pieces with a yell, just a few feet away from where you were. Silence slammed down like a wave between the two of you, both breathing hard.

After a moment, he grumbled quietly. “You don’t understand. There’s more work than you know. The Jedi—”

“Your mother would be disgusted.” The words tumbled out of your mouth in disdain, you couldn’t stop yourself.

“Don’t.” He warned.

“And your father—”

“I said, don’t.” His voice rose, but it was the power behind it that made the air chill that sent goosebumps down your body.

You tumbled back, bits of rock crunching at your feet.

His helmet tilted sideways at you and he slowly made his way toward your side of the table. “You’re afraid of me.”

“I’m afraid of what’s left of you. I don’t even know who you are anymore. You’re not the boy who used to kiss me by the temple garden. You’re not the one who used to hold me like you’d lose me. You’re not the person I fell…”

You caught yourself, but it was too late.

He stepped forward, reaching you slowly and menacingly. He’s only inches away and you can smell him. That same mix of leather and pine. Of all the things he had cast away that scent remained.

“Finish it.” He said it, quieter this time. A command, but not a cold one.

You bite your cheek, throwing daggers into his helmet with your stare, but your heart thudded against your will. “No.”

“Say it.”

“I won’t.” You whispered. “Because he is dead. And I’m standing in front of the thing that killed him.”

He didn’t speak. Didn’t move. He just let the silence settle like dust. His mask tilted downward just slightly, as if he couldn’t bear to look at you… or maybe as if he was. You even saw yourself reflected in his dark visor. Pale, tired, trembling.

Then, he reached down; no sharp movements or flourish. He just lifted the dome in front of you, revealing the warm steam of real food beneath it. He left the cloche by your plate and moved back to his seat, sitting with an invisible weight.

“Eat.” He said.

You didn’t move. “Why?”

“Because I told you to.” He burrowed in his seat, lifting the cloche in front of him.

You didn’t touch your food. Not yet. He brought his fork to his plate but didn’t do anything with it, just let the silence stretch.

Then you said it. “How are you going to eat with that helmet on?”

He paused. The question wasn’t… biting. Not really. If anything, it was soft, and tired, and a little sad. He looked at you—through you, rather.

Your voice was quiet. “I won’t eat if you don’t. Not if you can’t even show me your face.” He didn’t move, so you leaned forward. “I deserve to see who I’m talking to now.”

A pause. A breath. And then, his gloved hands moved slowly, reaching up to the edge of his helmet, unclasping the lock. The soft hiss of the seal tightened your throat and he hesitated, just for a second. His head bowed like a man offering something he shouldn’t be.

When it came off, that weight was shaking. His face… older, sharper, eyes darker than in your memories of Ben, but still absolutely his eyes. A scar now split his cheek, and his jaw tightened when he saw you staring at it. But, it was him. It was Ben. Hardened and haunted.

He placed the helmet on the table.

“Hi,” You barely whispered, but he looked away like the word had burned him. He hadn't looked at you for more than a few seconds without his protective shield.

“You smell the same as before. Did you know that?” He still won’t look. “It’s stupid, I know. It’s just that it’s the first thing I noticed when you got close. Like… the force wasn't what told me you were there… my senses did. I hated that.”

He swallowed, silence folding over itself once again.

“I thought… I thought I was doing what I had to.” His voice unfiltered. More human, rougher somehow. It really was him. “Back then, at the temple. I left because I thought no one really wanted me as I was.”

“I did.” You whispered, and he finally looked up. At you. No mask, no persona, just eyes that used to hold everything in the galaxy when he looked at you.

He sighed. “You were the only thing that made me feel like I belonged there… and that terrified me.”

You swallowed an ache in your chest. “Because if you lost me, then you had nothing left.”

“And I lost you anyway.”

You blinked back whatever was threatening to spill. You thought you were done crying over him. “You didn’t lose me. You never would have lost me. You just gave me away.”

Silence. He didn’t correct you. Instead, he looked down at his plate of food like it would save him. Then you heard him again.

“You used to talk in your sleep.” You blinked at his sentence, his voice low. “When our bunk rotations lined up, you’d hum sometimes. Or say half your assignments out loud, like your brain wouldn’t shut off. You’d mumble about lightsaber forms or supplies.” That memory was so far back it felt like a dream. As he continued, he somehow got softer. “But there was one night… you said my name.” He looked up, brows twisting upward. “Not just once, you said it three times. Like you were afraid I wasn’t there. And I remember I walked over to your bed and touched your hand so you’d stop. I held it in your sleep.”

You swallowed, not realizing you'd gone completely still.

“I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” He shook his head like he was ashamed of the confession. “It’s not like it matters now.”

“It matters to me.” He seemed startled at your gentle voice. “So, why say it now? After all these years?”

“Because I still hear it.”

You felt the crack in your chest and your shoulders slumped, eyes glazing over the food so you wouldn’t have to look at him.

“Ben,” your voice could have been mistaken for a sigh, “Ben was the one who loved me.”

“I never stopped.” He couldn’t take back those words, even if he didn’t mean to say them. They hung there between plates and a ruined past, among the people you were now. You looked up to glassy eyes, still holding yours. “Will you eat with me?” Spoken like he wasn’t worth it.

You hesitated, but silently reached for the fork. The first bite burned your throat on the way down, but you didn’t stop.

[Part Two] Note: I forgot how fun writing fanfics are. Thanks for reading! My Google search history is full of questions wondering what the hell a shower is called in this universe and what kind of ships they would have taken or what kind of planet would have supplies for the Rebels. I have so much to learn... how exciting!

[leviathanspain]

do you think i could request a kylo ren x reader smut, please? whatever happens is up to you but something filthy would be great, very dominant kylo please <3

bonus points if the reader is a lil bit of a brat and forced into submission (only if you're comfy with it).

(p.s. no rush. take your time <3)

spit it out

kylo ren x reader

synopsis: your disobedience earns you a punishment

his body weight was crushing you with every thrust. you stifled a moan as he bottomed out, his balls smacking against your ass as you struggled to breathe. you gripped at the sheets under you and heaved for a breathe, but kylo was relentless. he had been controlling your breathes, using the force to choke you as he wanted.

you had cum at least twice already, reluctantly as you refused to give him the satisfaction. but kylo knew what you were trying to do, pissing him off was only hurting you more.

he gripped your legs, shuddering as you squeezed your cunt around his length. “fuck-“ he grunted, and continued to drill into you.

you looked at him, teeth gnashing as he moved to grab at your jaw. he held you tightly, “cum. cum!” he yelled, but your refusal was evident.

you let your eyes roll back into your head as you ignored the knot in your belly. he felt so fucking good inside of you, you wanted to cum, wanted to feel him inside of you while you skyrocketed into pleasure, but you refused.

kylo had overlooked you for a mission, instead letting a group of young stormtroopers go instead. you had been unable to contain your anger and yelled at him in front of his crew, in front of general hux. the embarrassment alone had earned you a spanking. but your attitude had earned you a place under him, struggling to breathe and stuffed with cum.

he smacked the flesh of your ass for encouragement, “fucking cum!” his words echoed in your mind and you contemplated letting go, giving him what he wanted. but kylo did not give you what you wanted, and refused to explain himself to you.

you ignored him and felt the air constrict in your lungs, “the stormtroopers i sent will die. it’s a deadly mission, you think i wanted you on that?” he looked down at you, breathing heavily as his hand moved down to your clit.

he thrusted at an angle, focusing the force on choking you, “you didn’t think about that, you dumb fucking baby.” he insulted you and smacked your ass again.

you felt the pressure release off your throat and you heaved for a breath. you felt tears prick at your eyes as his hand brought you to your orgasm. as much as you wanted to keep being stubborn and upset, there was truth in his words. of course he would not let you die, and you were dumb to think he would.

you reached out to grip his arm, moaning loudly as he made you cum.

kylo settled back for a moment, watching you shudder as the pleasure washed over you. as your defeat lingered, kylo got on top of you again, “we are not done.” he whispered, thrusting into you suddenly.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Hii!

I just came across your empress work with kylo ren and i absolutely loved it.

But i was wondering...

Could you maybe write something like that but with kylo marring a jedi reader to restore balance and peace to the galaxy?

Say That Again

"-- say it," Kylo mutters. His voice becomes shaky, "I want to hear you say it."

Kylo Ren x Jedi!Reader | 1k+ | cw: gender neutra!reader, implied kidnapping, violence/mentions of injury, lovers to enemies, pining, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: this req is remix of this anon's and @copiasratsstuff request where basically YN refers to Kylo with his first name and it makes him snap. also T_T i had to send myself this anon ask because i accidentally posted this WITHOUT ANYTHING on the post LMAO. i hope you enjoy it my loves <3 <3 <3 tbh I think this turned out better than what I had in mind slayyyyed

My heart pounds as I run down the halls. My hands were tingling and moistened with agitation. I huff when I catch sight of the space craft.

I swipe an arm and, using my Force, a pair of stormtroopers crash to the side, clearing my passage.

The footsteps thundering towards me grows louder when I get to the ship and pry the door open with my Force. Just as I'm about to get into the vehicle, a scorching blow hits my leg, then my shoulder. A loud cry leaves my lips before I can even think.

Similarly, I hear painful screaming from afar. "Didn't I say to hold your fire?!"

My panic heightens at the echo of that voice. Through the excruciating pain, I tell myself to push forward. This was it, after all, this was the opening to the freedom I was waiting for.

But the next thing I knew, a dark Force overcame me, and I didn't have enough strength to break free of it.

I thud into the arms of my captor, and whine in pain. I clench my jaw and slowly lift my eyes, glaring at him.

My expression is vaguely reflected on the Supreme Leader's black mask. He sighs before speaking, "you reap what you sow."

I growl and hiss, "and soon will you."

He carries me in his arms, all the way back to my prison cell. He sets me down on his bed l, and as he takes off his helmet, I fling him back with Force, making him lose his balance.

The man doesn't topple though. What only happens is his dark hair falls onto his face. He tilts his head, "childish."

I scoff, "I'm glad you're self-aware."

The Sith Lord says nothing in response. He walks off, props his helmet on his cabinet, and opens a drawer. He walks over to me with bandages and ointment.

I raise a brow as he sits on my side, "you're not going to heal me?"

"The pain will be good for you," he replies, grabbing my injured leg with little regard.

I whine and shift to lessen my discomfort. He begins to lather ointment on my laser gash.

As he does this in silence, and as I behold his profile, his nose, his lips, his lashes, I see flashes of the past from his face. I see a memory of when we were younger, both still under the guidance of our master, Luke. I see his sweet smile, hear his soft laugh, feel his tender kiss... my Ben.

Of course, we were young fools in love. Deep down, we knew we could never be; attachments were dangerous. And yet he promised me himself and I promised him myself, and somehow he believes that was the same as us being married.

That was why he captured me. That was why he was binding my wounds. That was why he was unwilling to let me go. According to him, I was the balance the galaxy craved, I was the balance he long yearned for.

"We are married," he says, a-matter-of-factly.

My face sours, "get out of my head."

"Even if you did, even if you managed to run," he turns to me, one hand gripping my knee, "you think I would just let you go?"

We stare at each other for a while.

"After all I've done to have you?" he narrows his eyes.

"You wouldn't be able to find me," I lean in as I retort.

He leans closer, "and yet you would eventually surrender because your heart is weak."

I whine when he pulls the bandage around me tighter than necessary.

"Your soft heart would not bear the destruction I'd exact on the stars to find you," he ties the bandage and turns back to me. He scoffs under his breath, "you and your empathy."

The last of what remained of Ben Solo stared at me. Perhaps I was the only one delusional enough to see it. He was barely there in face, and in soul, I fear he may be lost forever.

I turn away.

He releases my leg and grabs my arm, "take your top off."

I decide not to put up a fight, there was no point. I take my burnt top off so he could wrap the injury on my shoulder blade.

He moves me so my back is turned to him. He stares at my wound for a prolonged moment. I am tempted to look back at him when I realize he felt pity for me.

"You shouldn't have run."

I don't look back, "you shouldn't have chased after-" I hiss when he applies ointment on my burn.

"You shouldn't have run," he repeats, harder this time.

"Kylo, please-"

"What?"

I look over my shoulder.

"What did you just call me?"

His expression is that of shock and excitement. I quickly correct myself, "Ben. Your name is B-"

"That's not my name," he raises a finger, "that's not what you said-"

"That's what I mea-"

"Say that again, say it," Kylo mutters. His voice becomes shaky, "I want to hear you say it."

I clench my jaw and shake my head. "Your name is Ben Solo."

He releases a deep breath.

I grab his cheeks. It was the first time I had ever willingly touched him, and so tenderly at that, "that is your name. That is who you--"

"Ben is dead," Kylo grabs my wrists, yanking me away from him.

My heart races when I feel the hot air from his lungs.

"I am all that's left," he whispers, brows furrowing. His voice is shaky again, "Ben was weak. He could not even speak his love for you out loud," he shakes his head, "not me. I would make sure the whole galaxy knows my love for you."

I gasp when he grabs my face and kisses me. I immediately shove him away, and when I do, this man with wide, glassy eyes stares back at me.

For once, his face evokes something more than anger out of me. I see his desperation and it pinches my heart.

"Ben-"

"That's not my name," he blurts, snapping out of his trance and jumping to his feet. His moment of vulnerability was over. Staring down at me now was no one else besides the Supreme Leader of the First Order. He wipes his face and blankness falls on his features.

I mean to call his name out again but he speaks before I can.

"I will have a medic attend to your wounds," he says flatly, "don't think to flee while I'm gone."

I watch him walk out of the door.

[beskarinhyperspace]

A Ripple In Space

"What can I say, I’m an extreme individual.."

More Chapters | MASTERLIST

6. Negotiations

*Mature, Explicit, NSFW*

Kylo Ren x fem.reader

wc 3.7k 

Meanwhile Kylo was still on duty, taking a break in his office. His meetings were painfully boring and long. He wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place. Which made every one of them more bitter. Since leaving the Finalizer, his only desire was to get back home to you.  

Home... 

For the first time in a very long time, Kylo was feeling a sense of belonging and going through his day was a challenge by itself. He was unable to keep you off his mind. The way you smelled, your skin, your lips, everything about you was intoxicating him. You were all he could think about.  

He particularly liked the way you boss him around. Like he was not one of the most dangerous and feared man in the galaxy. He liked that you were not bending to him even when you were scared. 

It has been two days since he last saw you and somehow it felt like a lifetime. His mind kept drifting to the last night you spent together. His cock slowly pushing inside of you, stretching you open with a tit in his mouth.  

Urgh, he sighed deeply in frustration. He could already feel himself twitch as he became harder under his desk. What he hated most in all this was that he couldn't talk to you. 

I really need to fix that, he thought to himself before the com-link on his wrist beeped. 

*”Incoming, Supreme Leader” * 

“Listening trooper.” he replied. Quickly brushing his lustful thoughts away. 

*”Not sure if it's something worth mentioning but it’s about the girl.”* 

A pinching sensation crawled into his chest. Knowing exactly who he was referring to, “what about her?” 

*”Prisoner 226 is in medical. They are running tests on her.”* 

Kylo starts to panic imagining the worst, “what happened?” 

*”Unconfirmed, she's been unconscious for the past twelve hours sir.”* 

“Twelve hours??” His voice laced with rage. Closing his eyes, he tries to collect himself. “Prepare my ship, now.” he ordered. 

*”Copy that.”* 

He puts on his helmet, rushing to the guard standing just outside his door. “Tell General Hux that I have an urgent matter. I don’t want to be bothered for the next forty-eight hours.” 

The soldier simply nodded in agreement as Kylo clenched his fist going for his vessel. 

As he set the coordinates, his mind kept going back to you and the way your soft lips were saying his name.  

His real name. He hadn't heard it in years. He made sure to erase everything from his past and didn't want to be reminded of anything from it, but he knew he couldn't hide from you and truthfully, he didn't want to. 

Kissing you goodbye was difficult enough. Not only because he wished he had more time with you, but he also felt bad every time he left. As if he was leaving something important behind. 

-- 

Arriving to the Finalizer, he landed quickly, rushing to the medical wing. He completely ignored the soldiers and the officers who were patrolling around. His heart hammered in his chest while he ran through the ship’s corridors. Finally, he reached the ship's clinic but started to panic when he saw no one around. That was until he heard a voice coming from behind. 

“She's going to be fine.” The feminine voice reassured. 

He removed his helmet, turning around to look at the nurse, “what happened?” 

“Probably just a simple virus.” She replied plainly. 

Kylo’s eyebrow raised slightly, “a simple virus doesn't do this.” 

The woman’s face remained emotionless. “She was previously malnourished. Her body is still fragile and weaker against those types of viruses.” 

He clenched his jaw. The reality of both your situations becoming more inevitable. “Can I see her?” he asked calmly even though he didn't like the way she was talking down on him. Plus, he didn’t have the time nor the energy to argue with her. 

She simply twisted her lips and guided him to you. When he arrived in the room, his eyes were automatically drawn to a device on the side of the bed with pouches of liquids hanging from a hook on the wall. You were still asleep and plugged into maker knows what machine. As he approached, he noticed how faint your breathing was. 

He turned back to the nurse, “Is she stable?” he asked hurriedly. 

“Yes, it still might take a few days for her to be back on her feet—” 

“I'll take her to into my quarters. Prepare whatever she might need.” He cut her right off.  

He didn't want to leave you in this cold, lifeless place. He wanted you to be as comfortable as you possibly could. He hated seeing you in here. So small, so fragile, so vulnerable in the open. 

“She hasn't woken up once yet. I believe it would be best for her to stay here– “she stopped, and for some reason she was getting more tense than before. Sensing Kylo’s gazed intensely watching her. She took a deep breath before continuing, “What I meant to say, supreme leader, is she will be better taken care of here.” 

He nodded, “Then I'll stay.” His voice came out calm and soft. She watched him take a seat on a chair that was beside the bed before nodding herself and walked away. 

He took a moment just watching you asleep, tucked in your grey metal bed. His body was slowly coming down from the adrenaline, now knowing that you were safe.  

“You’re perfect.” He sighed, pushing the hair away from your face. His gloved fingertips delicately stoking your cheek, “You shouldn't be here. You wouldn't have gotten sick if you weren't here.” 

-- 

The first thing you noticed was the cold breeze on your bare legs and the thin fabric covering your frame. As you finally opened your eyes, you found yourself in a small white room. The air felt cold and more recycled than ever. Which made you shiver slightly. 

Turning your head slowly, you saw Kylo asleep in an armchair that looked half a size too small for him next to you. His hair, unmistakably tousled from his helmet while his pink lips were slightly parted. 

As you lowered your eyes, you noticed a clip attached to your fingertip. Without hesitation you unclipped the device. Making the machine emit a rather loud beeping sound. 

Without missing a beat, Kylo shot his eyes open with a hand going for his lightsaber. Freezing himself in his movement, as he looked straight at you. “You're awake”, more like an observation than a question. 

You tried to speak but your throat felt dry. Making you choke slightly as you tried to talk. 

“Don't move, I’ll get you some water.” He rushed out as he quickly stood from his seat. 

‘Don't move’, you laughed to yourself. As if you could go anywhere. You can't help but notice how adorable he looked trying to help you. But your smile quickly fades as you sense something odd.  

As you looked around, you started to panic. Where am I? Why am I here? You asked yourself, trying to figure out what happened, and then it hits you.  

He killed his father...  

It was the last thing you heard before losing consciousness. As if knowing you were thinking of him, he came back with a smile on the corner of his lips.  

A smile? A happy smile? Walking around the ship with a smile? When was the last time you saw him do that? Did he ever do that? 

He came closer, giving you a half a cup of water, “Here, drink it. You'll feel better.” 

You sipped it in silence. Making as little eye contact as possible. He didn’t seem to notice, until; “Are you hungry? I can ask the nurse for someth—” 

You stopped him, feeling slightly on edge, “No it's fine, I feel fine.” you replied sounding anything but fine. 

He frowned, his smile disappearing into a line. “What's the matter?” he asked cluelessly. 

You shook your head. Right now, was not the time. “No, there's nothing.” 

“C’mon sweetheart, we're past this. I’ve watched you for months. I think I would know when you have something on your mind.” he scoffed. Turning his head to the side, insulted that you’d take him for a fool. 

You sighed, taking a deep breath. There was no way around this. You had to be honest with him.  

“Is it true? About your father?” 

His jaw clenched before slowly moving his eyes back to you. “What is?” 

You felt the energy in the room shift. A lingering heaviness floating, but you had to ask.  

“D-Did you, kill him?” 

“Yes” he replied simply.  

His eyes watching you surprisingly unfazed. Your chest squeezed at his response. Cutting the air in your lungs. Noticing your reaction, Kylo got up from his chair again.  

“You should rest” he tells you softly. 

Not giving you a chance to stop him. You watched him leave in silence as he moved through the door, putting his helmet on. Feeling too drained and exhausted to stop him on his way out. 

- 

After two days you woke up feeling energized. The nurse surely knew how to make Liacynth tea. You felt almost brand new. After getting dressed, you began walking back to your quarters and back to Kylo. 

Well, that was new. You would've expected him to lash out, yell or even destroy something. Instead, he just got up and left. I mean this man was more confusing every day. Unpredictable really. 

As you stepped inside the room, the doors automatically close behind you. You stood in the entrance and glanced at the state of the place.  

Everything was trashed. Random broken pieces of glass were scattered on the floor. One of the kitchen chairs was undoubtedly thrown at the wall. Even the dining table was cut from the middle to its edge. Maybe you spoke too soon.  

Looks like he did rage after all... 

You walked carefully to the bedroom. Seeing the door being halfway open. 

“Ben?” You asked, pushing it as you entered the room cautiously.  

Seeing him sitting on the edge of the bed. His back turned from you. He was holding his head in his hands while his helmet was on the floor in the corner. 

“Ben?” You tried again and he slowly raises his head.  

Turning his body slightly in your direction. His eyes were small and red. His hair was still tousled and unclean. His lips, maker his lips, plusher than you have ever seen them. “What happened?” 

Without making a sound. He stood up, coming closer to you. Taking a good look at you up and down, “You're so pretty,” he says, “so good, so pure and beautiful.”  

He lets out leaving his lips slightly parted as his eyes were staring at you pained. He looked faded out as if he hadn’t slept in days. 

You sighed, “what happened?” 

He took a moment just staring at you before answering, “You” 

“What?”  

He took a deep breath, “How do you feel?” 

You looked at him, then looked around you, “hum, confused?” 

“I meant physically.” 

You let out a deeper sigh, “Good, I’m slowly getting back on my feet” 

“Good” he replied simply. Passing you by as he went into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. 

Growing impatient you followed him, “you didn't answer me, what happened?” 

He drank his water slowly as he watched you. He was so damn infuriating sometimes. He knew what he was doing by making you wait. Taking his last sip, he placed the cup on the counter before looking back at you. His eyes were small and heavy. 

“You should rest. You were injured. I’ll take care of your work schedule.” He dismissed again. 

You start to get frustrated, “why don't you want to answer me?” 

“Why are you always asking so many questions?” He growled back. But you remained silent, only watching him with a defiant look. He scoffed, turning his gaze to the side. “I already told you.” 

You smiled from the corner of your lips, looking down. “So, you trashed the place because I’m good and pretty? Yeah, that makes sense...” 

He came slowly closer, his body only inches away from yours, “and pure.” 

You couldn’t help but giggle, “You don’t know me, I am definitively not pure.” 

He clenched his jaw “more than me.” he says, taking a deep breath. “I-” he cuts himself off, searching for his words. “I don’t deserve your attention.” 

You squinted your eyes at him, “What are you on about now?” 

“This, all of this wouldn’t’ve happened if you weren’t here. But here you are, trapped on this ship, MY ship!” You could feel the frustration and annoyance in his voice. “You think you would’ve let me talk to you out there? Kissed you?” He brought his gloved hand to your face. Brushing his fingertips gently on your cheek, “Touched you?” He scoffed, closing his eyes as he removed his hand. “Of course not, how could you?” Looking almost disgusted at himself. 

“Everyone is deserving of lov-” 

“—Not me” he said stepping back. “I take, I hurt, I destroy, I kill... for fuck's sake, I killed my own father!” And there it was.  

The wound at the center of it all. Even if he was smiling you knew how much it was destroying him.  

“I saw it in your eyes, the way you looked at me?” You could clearly see the pain in his glassy eyes, shooting straight at you almost pleading. 

“How long ago was it?” You asked in a low tone. 

“A year, and I was too much of a coward to inform my mother of my actions.” He replied with disdain. 

“I’m sorry.” You let out softly. 

He remained still, almost in shock. “What?” 

“I said I’m sorry” 

He tilted his head intrigued, “But you haven’t done anything, it’s my fault.” 

You sighed, “It’s true. I don’t know what happened in your past but, everyone is deserving of love...” 

Confused, he came closer again, “Aren’t you scared of me? Of what I can do? I know you are...” 

You closed the gap between you and brought your hand to cup his cheek, shaking your head. “I see you; I don’t know why but I just know you wouldn’t hurt me. Not on purpose at least.” 

“Like I said, pure...” He smiled faintly, passing his thumb on your bottom lip. “Could I–, can I kiss you?” 

You stayed silent and simply nodded as he brought his lips onto yours. Letting a deep breath out of his nose as he took you in. Wrapping his arms around your waist to squeeze you before bringing a hand lower, going for your butt. 

You smiled against his teeth, “Ben, we can’t. This needs to stop.” 

“Stop? Hyal, can’t you see what you’ve done to me?” He removed his hand from your bottom to grab yours, playing with your fingers. “I would do anything you’d ask of me.” 

“That’s a bit extreme, isn’t it?” You raised a brow. 

He looked at you softly, “What can I say, I’m an extreme individual.” 

You rolled your eyes, “I’d like to take things slow. You know, get to know you more?” 

He smirked, “I can do that.” 

“Really?” 

Nodding, he gives a chaste kiss at the corner of your lips. “Go get yourself clean. You must feel uncomfortable after passing days in medical.” 

“Says the man who has greasy hair.” 

He smiled looking at the floor, “uh yeah, past couple of days had been challenging to say the least. Go ahead, I’ll go after you.” 

-- 

As you were about to close the faucet and step out, Kylo enters. “Don’t mind me I'm just taking a quick one.” 

You shook your head, watching him enter in the small space with you, “You’re unbelievable.” 

“What? I was called. Couldn't wait an hour for you to be done.” he teased as he washed his hair. 

You stared at him with your mouth open, “I don’t take an hour.” 

“Sure, you do” he says rinsing himself from the lathered shampoo. “First time you stayed here.” 

“That was months ago!” you protest. 

He smiled, giving you his hand to take before pulling you closer to him, “You’re right, in all honesty, I wanted to see you and your beautiful body one more time before I go.” he admitted, passing the back of his fingers on your nipple, moving down to your stomach. 

You gasped, feeling them harden to his touch. Seeing your reaction, he smirked. Nibbling his bottom lip.  

“You really don’t understand hyal. You’re all I can think of, All- the- fucking- time.” now swiping both of his thumbs over them as he watches you lean your head back slowly.  

Looking more than satisfied, he let out a low growl and brought his lips down to your chest. He took one of your nipples in his mouth. Suckling and flickering his tongue over it while his thumb continued to play with the other. You couldn't hide anymore, letting out some pleasured noises. 

“Oh sweetheart, you really like that don't you?” He teased, his voice low and soft. “How about this?”  

You felt his thumb leave your tit before feeling two of his fingers moving through your folds. Swiping and quickly gliding in between your flesh as you started to coat them. You couldn't stop the desperate growl that escaped your lips even if you wanted to.  

You needed this, wanted this, you wanted him. He let your slippery nipple roll out of his mouth, “Yeah? Does that feel good?”  

You nodded, moaning with your mouth fully open as he comes back, brushing his tongue on both of your nipples. While his thick fingers were stretching you so deliciously slow. “shit...” he let out almost a whisper. His eyes full of lust seeing how well you were taking them in. He began to pump them faster. While his other hand squeezed a breast within his reach. His tongue fluttering on your sensitive peaks. 

“Please Ky..” you cried out, feeling that warmth boiling up between your legs. 

He stopped moving completely and removed his hands from you. “Not yet.” He says, as he lowered himself down. Feeling his hands spreading your thighs gently open. 

“What are you—” you didn’t have to finish your sentence that his lips were around your clit. Softly pulling and sucking. “Ohh” you let out smiling. Closing your eyes as you relaxed to his touch. 

Putting your thigh over his shoulder, he brought back his fingers to your entrance. Pumping each one of them a couple of times before leaving you feeling empty. Curiously you opened your eyes to look at him. 

His back was curved while his wet hair danced on the inside of your thighs. Hearing his low and small desperate moans as he was fucking his fist covered in your slick. Followed by the sound of his lips smacking on your pussy hungrily as if he couldn't get enough. 

The wet noises that echoed in the background made you feel somewhat powerful. Here you were on the finalizer, a star destroyer, with one of the most beautiful and dangerous men in the galaxy. Who in this moment, was kneeling between your legs as he pleasured himself, pleasuring you. The thought of it alone was enough to drive you closer to the edge as you let out some uncontrollable whimpers. 

“Mm that's it.” Noticing you were getting closer; quickening the pumping of his fist. “Be good and come with me sweetheart.” 

He started to move his tongue and lips around you faster, sloppier. Making your legs shake as you finally came on his slippery tongue. He followed with a low growl as he saw you become more relaxed. Leaking in his hand shortly after. 

“I wouldn't call that taking things slow.” You finally let out, breaking the silence. 

He smiled as he looked at the state of the both of you. “Well, I needed a taste. I'm sorry, it was selfish of me.” 

“You are definitely not sorry.” you replied scoffing, teasingly rolling your eyes. 

He chuckled, “you're right, I’m not sorry.” A grin appeared on his lips, “I wanted to see that sweet, hot body of yours shake and twitch in my hands. In all honesty, I don't even have to go anywhere today.” 

“What?” You gasped, slapping him on the shoulder before he starts to pull away. Rinsing himself under the running water. “You're despicable.” you followed. 

He laughed at your comment, “Tell me something I don’t know.” 

“Urgh.” you grunted out as you were about to walk away, but he quickly gripped your wrist, pulling you closer to him. 

Yet again you felt intimidated by the way he towered over you. He locked his eyes onto yours and seemed to notice as he released his grip. Bringing his fingers back to your cheek. Softly brushing the tips of them against your skin.  

“I was serious when I said I would do anything you asked me.” He pushed your hair behind your ear, “if that's what you want, then you should have it.” He followed by moving lower to your ear, almost a whisper, “but by the way your soft and needy pussy clenched around my fingers, I’d say that you're not sorry either.” And smiled when he saw how pink your cheeks were turning. Giving you a small delicate kiss on your neck, “I promise not to do it again only if you also promise me one thing.” 

You closed your eyes, sighing “negotiating?” 

He chuckled, “I am not going to touch myself until you give me the permission to touch you again.” He stops, licking slowly and softly the same spot he just kissed. “...and I want you to do the same.” 

Your eyes shoot open, “what?” 

He chuckled, “you heard me.” He says firmly. Taking your hand, planting gentle kisses on your fingers. 

You took a moment. Thinking about these new sets of rules. You nodded in confirmation, and he smiled, cupping your cheek before kissing you on your temple. 

----

Taglist

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[enviedear]

i've been going solo now ⟶ ben solo

description ⌙ when you get a distress signal from your dad and his life-long goon you're quick to try and come to their rescue. only problem? so is ben solo.

pairing ⌙ smuggler!ben solo x f!reader

warnings ⌙ childhood crush/frenemies turned adults with horrible communication skills, reader is the daughter of lando (biologically or not you decide), ben is a jerk, reader is a brat, petty arguments, forced proximity trope, inner conflict all the time, han and lando are just two pals getting into serious issues that their kids have to fix don't mind them (they're just mentioned), most likely incorrect knowledge of the falcon & starship parts, smuggler!ben solo au because that's canon to me, ben calls reader kid (affectionate, kinda), typos probabaly

word count ⌙ 4.1k

— request | masterlist

i just think ben solo is very much solo by future coded and i wanted to write about smuggler!ben and his smug attitude. special thanks to @crucifiedfaerie for letting me gush over this idea constantly in our dms <3

you never had the stomach for killing— the thought of it or the act itself. the notion of ending someone's life has always been abhorrent to you, leaving a sour sensation in your mouth that lingers long after the deed is done. but right now, you sit, filled with a growing and seemingly unstoppable rage that practically demands blood.

"don't even think about jumping into hyperspace, solo!" your voice is loud but erratic.

the black-haired man piloting the ship gives you a side eye, "and waste hours getting there? sure thing, kid."

you grip the co-pilot seat as hard as possible as he sends the absolutely geriatric ship into lightspeed. the force of it sends your head back onto the headrest, and you screw your eyes shut until the motion of the ship stills.

you've been flying with ben solo on the millennium falcon for a day and a half now, and this isn't even the first time you've wanted to kill him.

no, you'd harbored a hatred for ben solo for as long as you could remember. when you were little your father frequently left you in the care of the organa-solo's. any trip too risky for you to follow him on had you spending time on chandrila han and leia— and ben.

he was a few years older than you and so insufferable - spoiled rotten and full of mischief. the two of you would inevitably end up in scuffles over something, whether it be who got to shower first or which holovid show to watch. you often wondered how your father, han, or leia had managed to handle both of you. a hardheaded pair of troublemakers that needed little excuse to start bickering with one another.

but beneath it all, there had been another layer to your complex relationship with ben solo. even though you feigned anger whenever near him, deep down there had been an admiration growing since those early days spent together. your naive heart fluttered when he would absentmindedly flash his ever-present smirk in your direction. but you'd never admit or act upon any such feelings.

naviagting your crush had been difficult at first. especially having lando calrissian as a parent. you were forced to spend weeks around the source of your teen angst because of your father.

what use is a dad that can sweet-talk a jablogian if he can't fix your unwanted crush on his best friend's son.

you've cursed at his image in your mind every time you look at your ridiculous companion. if not for him, you wouldn't be with ben right now— you'd have never had the displeasure of his company.

you got away from the young solo, and most everyone else, for a good five years, hopping from planet to planet, picking up any honest work. which usually meant boring work— factory jobs, service stuff, a few instances of babysitting.

your life without ben solo is predictable and a little boring.

but you'd rather be bored than deal with the recklessness that becomes your life every time you see the smuggler.

but here you sit beside him, forced to spend an unknown amount of days with him until the both of you find your idiotic fathers.

you had gotten a rouge comm-link message from your dad just days ago. he sounded fine, voice still leisurely and warm, but it was his words that were worrisome, "han's got us in a bit of trouble, little star. would you mind coming to help your old man out? we're somewhere in the trilon sector— i'd try batuu first!"

when you got the message, your mind had gone into autopilot. you had rushed to comm leia, which had been a fatal mistake, as she had ordered her son to pick you up and accompany you. so now you're here, stuck with ben solo and his frightening flying.

"you know, dad should have warned me i'd be flying with a coward." ben's lips are curved into a grin, as usual with his teasing.

you whip your head in his direction, eyes ablaze, "well my father should have warned me that you've gotten even more annoying, somehow."

ben narrows his eyes, a stupid smirk still plastered to his face, "whatever you say, kid."

you feel your blood go hot, why he decided to start calling you kid, you didn't know, but you do know you hate it.

ben's barely your senior, only twenty-three years of age in comparison to your twenty. besides he behaves like an out-of-hand teen away.

"stop calling me that." you groan.

ben chuckles, "aw, what's the matter, kid? tired of following orders already?"

you grit your teeth, the way he talks down to you will forever get under your skin, "i don't take orders from you, solo."

"sure you do. you're on my ship, remember?" ben retorts, his eyes focused on the coordinates displayed to his left.

you cross your arms over your chest, "we're supposed to be working together to find han and my father and get them out of trouble, not bickering like children."

ben rolls his eyes, "it's not my fault you're so uptight."

you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. you can't afford to lose your temper and start a fight, not when you're relying on him to get you to your destination safely. so, you force a smile, "look, can we just be civil? we're both here because we care about our dads and want to help them."

ben's expression softens a little, "fine. but if you start nagging at me again, i can't promise i won't call you kid."

you roll your eyes, "deal. now, can you tell me more about what's going on? my dad was pretty vague in his message."

ben hums, "same with mine. all i know is that lando got mixed up in some kind of shady deal, and now he's in trouble with a gang of criminals called the ninth sun. my mom's been trying to negotiate with them, but they're not ones to bend the knee."

you groan, "of course not. what's the plan?"

he shakes a stray black strand of hair from his eye, "no plan, just find them and go from there."

"lovely, that's totally going to work," you bite your lip, "oh and, it was han who made the sketch deal, not my dad."

ben shrugs, "and who told you that?" he rests his elbow on the armrest and brings his hand to his chin, "lando?"

you clench your fists, "let's just focus on finding them. no need to dwell on the semantics."

ben glances at you and for a moment, you swear there's a flicker of something in his eyes. something other than his usual teasing, mischievous demeanor, but it's gone as quickly as it came and he turns back to the console.

the ship hums steadily beneath you, and the silence between you two stretches on, broken only by the occasional beep from the controls. you fidget in your seat, uncomfortable with the unfamiliar hush. you've never been around ben so long without saying anything, and you're about to speak up before he interrupts you.

"we'll have to make a pit stop, i need to refuel." his voice sounds tired.

you nod, "alright. any nearby planets we can stop at?"

ben checks the navicomputer, "yeah, there's one a couple of light years away. i've been there before, it's not too bad."

"okay solo, lead the way." you say, leaning back in your seat.

as he pilots the ship toward the destination, you can't help but study him from the corner of your eye. he's changed since the last time you saw him. the boy who used to pull your hair and steal your toys has grown into a man. he's lean and toned with longer hair, still as sable black as ever. it falls into his eyes, despite how much he wills it not to, giving him a slightly disheveled look that you can't help but find attractive.

you rue the thoughts plaguing your own mind.

the embarrassment you used to feel over your crush has come back ten-fold. the feeling shocks you. he's trying to act all suave and mature, but you know deep down that he's still the same old ben who annoyed the life out of you. you can feel the familiar tug in your heart every time he speaks, and you know he can't have changed much over the years. not when he's making you feel just like you're fourteen again.

but there is something different about him now. maybe it's the way he pilots the ship with ease– no longer the boy who'd cover his ears ar take off, or maybe it's just the way his muscles flex under his tight-fitting shirt. he's almost mesmerizing.

it's clear that he's been doing this for a long time, navigating the stars all alone with nothing but his shitty attitude and perfect hair. you find yourself marveling over him, sure and smooth, his hands deftly moving over the controls.

ever the realist, you try to shake off the feeling, but it's proving difficult. you feel a strange urge to preserve your current addiction.

as you watch him fly, you feel a fixation building within you. it's a sentiment you haven't felt in years, not felt since the last time you saw him.

you try to push the feeling down, knowing that it's not the time to have those kinds of thoughts. you're supposed to be focused on finding your fathers and not getting killed by some lethal syndicate, not lusting after your childhood nemesis.

you feel wrong stealing glances at him, trying to understand what's changed and why you're feeling this way. you're towing a dangerous, line. especially if those feelings are inspired by ben organa-solo.

finally, after what feels like hours, you arrive at the refueling station. as soon as ben lands the ship, you stretch your legs inside the falcon, looking out at the new scenery. the planet is bathed in the evening light, and the scene around you is wide awake. the station itself is a bustling hub of activity, with all kinds of alien species milling about.

ben leads the way to the fueling station, where he begins filling up the ship's tanks. you stand by the ship's entrance, people-watching. your eyes find ben's figure again, and you let them stall. when he looks your way, you advert your gaze and step out of the falcon, swiftly approaching him.

the evening air is cool as it hits your skin. this planet is a strange one, with vibrant purple plants and thick, white fog swirling around. but you don't pay too much attention to it, your eyes are locked on ben.

he's leaning against the ship, checking over the fuel meter with a frown on his face. you walk over to him and clear your throat, expecting to get his attention.

he looks up at you, eyes meeting your own. you feel your heart skip a beat, and you curse yourself for being soft for him.

"you know, you didn't have to follow me out here." he mumbles, hand coming to brush the hair from his eyes.

you hum, "i didn't have anything better to do."

he ignores you and looks back at the fuel gauge, his eyebrows furrow, "i found something for you to do." his voice is monotone, but you're all too familiar with the subtle cut of annoyance within.

"what does that mean?" you own voice comes out a bit too anxious.

ben groans before looking at you, "one of the damn tanks has a leak— i told chewie to fix that weeks ago." he follows up his words with a few curses before kicking the faulty gas tank.

you roll your eyes, "can't we just get another one? i'm sure if we go inside someone would know where we could get another one."

"the problem isn't finding one," he tsks at you, "the problem is that this tank has been leaking fuel into the beacon finder. without that, we're never finding our dear old dads."

your heart sinks. you had been so sure that you would find your dad quickly, but now it looks like that might not be the case. "so, what do you suggest we do?" you ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

"i'll have to fix the beacon," he sighs, "luckily i have the tools for it, but i need to find one more part, and with the sun setting soon…" he trails off, letting his silence complete the sentence for him.

you take in a deep breath at his implication. you can tell what he is suggesting without explicitly stating it.

you will be stuck on this planet with him tonight and forced to share the same cramped room. you thank god for separate cots, at least.

you try to ignore the warmth creeping up your ears, but you know that it's a losing battle. you haven't shared a room with ben solo since you were kids, endless unwilling sleepovers at each other's houses. but those instances were filled with innocent pranks and arguments, not the tension and longing glances you've found yourself giving him.

"alright," you say, trying to keep your voice even, "we'll just get the part and fix the beacon. the faster we fix this, the faster we can find our fathers and get back to our lives." you move towards the entrance of the fueling station, wanting to put space between you and ben.

"you mean so you can get back to your life." he calls out to you, and you look back at him only to be met with contempt in his brown eyes, "the one where you avoid me."

you give him a sharp eye roll before making your way toward a small gaggle of vendors, much more interested in finding this part. ben follows closely behind you, and you can feel the weight of his stare on the back of your head.

you're at a loss as to why ben solo would ever care that you've been avoiding him for the last five years. the ben you remember would've never batted an eye. when did that change?

you find a vendor selling the part that ben needs, and you both split the payment before heading back to the falcon. ben sets to work on the beacon, and you sit nearby, supposedly looking over the coordinates but mostly watching him work.

there's an abnormal sense of calm that fills you as you watch him. concentration is etched on his face, lips bitten bright red. you can't help but admire him, not for the sake of not trying.

you're brought back to reality when he starts cursing under his breath, "what's wrong?" you ask, moving closer to him.

"this damn thing won't budge," he grunts, trying to pry apart two pieces of the beacon.

you move to his side, peering down at the device. his breath is hot on your cheek, and you feel an urge to shiver. trying to focus on the task at hand you take a few breaths.

your eyes keep drifting to his lips, the way they move when he curses. you shake your head, trying to clear the inappropriate thoughts from your mind. "let me help," you offer, reaching for one of the tools he's using.

he hands it to you, and you lean in closer, your sides pressed together as you work the tool. you can feel his heat exuding into you, a warmth that isn't just from the planet's humid air. you try to focus, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. every time he moves, you catch a whiff of his scent, musky and rich, and your mind starts to wander to places it shouldn't.

finally, after what feels like an eternity, the piece pops free, and ben lets out a sigh of relief. he turns to you, a small smile on his face, and you can't help but smile back. his eyes lock onto yours, and suddenly, the air between you is charged with something foreign.

you let your tone come out sardonic, "looks like i saved the day. you're welcome, solo."

ben tilts his head, eyes narrowing, "you're a brat, kid."

"i thought i told you to stop calling me that." you want to hit him.

"i said i had a condition," he pauses, arms coming to either side of you, palms pressing into the falcon's floor, effectively trapping you against him, "a condition you just broke. so you're back to kid, kid."

you feel your resolve slipping, "you're the worst. you always have been, and i can see now that will never change."

he has the audacity to let out an amused breath, "if you're going to say shit like that, at least mean it."

your brows furrow, "pardon me? as if i don't mean that."

his hands creep from the ground and to your hips, you gasp as he pulls you in closer. if he were anyone else, you'd expect him to kiss you next, but he's not anyone else. so instead, he cranes down and whispers in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "i know you want me," he growls, his fingers digging into your clothed flesh. "don't act like you don't,"

you're completely caught off guard, and before you can respond, he's pulling away from you and grabbing the beacon. you watch in silent horror as he makes for the falcon's exit, leaving you confused on the floor.

you sit there, rooted to the spot, your mind and body in turmoil. you know if you follow him you'd just be throwing yourself into a petty or embarrassing altercation.

what did he mean by that anyway? how could he possibly know?

taking a steadying breath, you turn away from your seat and make for the other side of the ship. you need to keep yourself busy until nighttime, and you know that there's some maintenance to do on one of the storage bays. when you get there, however, it's already been taken care of. your fists clench in frustration as you realize ben must have done it earlier.

you start searching around the ship for any other tasks that might help keep your mind off things and pass the time more quickly- checking cords, tidying up shelves or going through supplies lists so nothing gets low.

the hours seem to stretch on endlessly despite how much work you manage to do, and all too soon darkness begins to fill the sky outside of the cockpit windows. with a heavy sigh, you head back towards where you and ben had been working earlier. he's back now, tinkering away with the beacon as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you earlier— as if his words hadn't sent a tremble down your spine and confused the emotions tumbling through your mind.

you catch an expectant glance from him when he finally notices your presence. you're sure he's expecting you to say something to him. maybe he wants you to yell.

you don't say anything though, instead offering only a terse nod before checking the endless cords around you.

your fingers move quickly and expertly over the tangled cords, your mind too preoccupied to focus on anything else. but you can feel his gaze on you, burning through the back of your skull like a branding iron. his presence is suffocating and you know that if you don't get a handle on your emotions soon, you'll combust.

eventually, you're so lost in thought that you almost miss the soft footfalls approaching you. you turn to see ben standing beside you, his eyes locked onto yours. the air between you is thick with strain, unspoken words, and feelings. there are so many things you want to say to him, but you don't know where to begin.

"so," his voice breaks through the silence like a blaster shot. "when are we going to talk about it?"

you hear the depth in his baritone voice and it's all you can do to keep your face neutral, your thoughts collected, "talk about what?" you ask, even though you know perfectly well what he's referring to.

"about me and you," he says, voice low but insistent, "or we can just keep ignoring it. the tension seems to be getting us pretty far."

your expression shifts as you take in his words, the longing that had been coiled in so tightly before now coming to the surface. you can feel yourself flustering under the intensity of his watch but you refuse to look away, instead lifting your chin higher and narrowing your eyes.

"there is no us, solo," you say firmly, though your voice is riddled with a hint of something else entirely, "there never has been, and never will be."

ben seems unfazed by your words, his eyes steady and intense. "you say that," he says, his voice softening. "but i know you better than anyone else. and i know there's some part of you that actually likes me. i bet it pisses you off, doesn't it?"

he's right— it does piss you off that your heart can't seem to let him go. no matter how annoying you find him, he's beautiful and confident. and he does know you better than anyone. he knows what buttons to press and how hard. with ben, there's always the thrill of how perceptive he is— that he can see through the walls of anger and indifference you try so hard to build up around yourself.

you can feel your will crumbling under his words, your heart throbbing in your chest, but still, you push back, "even if there is something there, solo," you say, your voice shaking slightly, "it doesn't change anything. we're two different people living two very different lives."

ben smirks, "you don't know anything about my life."

you let your eyes roll, "as if the life you lead is some kind of mystery," you take a deep breath, "i mean, what's to know? you fly alone, smuggle, and rack up credits. that's your life, solo."

he hums, right hand finding a home beside your head on the wall, "you know me so well, kid. you should write a book."

you feel inexplicably hot, "maybe i will. a long book of all the reasons you piss me off."

he doesn't respond, just looks down at you for an uncomfortable amount of time. he pushes himself from the wall and you, twisting and letting his back hit the durasteel wall. his face is turned to you, eyes downcast.

"you know," he says finally, breaking the silence, "i remember when we were kids, it was always you who used to be the one to instigate. you probably don't remember it that way, but i do, and i loved it. you never hesitated. you were fearless."

you look at him incredulously, wondering what this has to do with anything. but he continues, "you were the only girl that would play with me, and not just that, the only one that could beat me. but then one day you just stopped. you ignored me completely."

you stiffen, unwilling to admit even through body language that he might be right. a pre-teen you found avoiding your ben sized crush the most viable option. you just never thought he'd care.

he continues, eyes unwavering from yours, "you used to look at me like i was the only person that mattered. and then, you just stopped. it's was like… like you had something to hide."

it's like he can read your mind because he reaches out and grasps your wrist in his hand. his touch is nice against your skin, sending a comfortable feel through your veins.

"i miss you, the girl who wasn't afraid of liking me," he whispers, his voice low and husky. "and i want you to admit that you miss me too."

you struggle to find words, to make sense of everything inside of you, but before you can speak, his lips are on yours. his kiss is hot and demanding, and instinctively lean into him, body melting against his in perfect harmony. his hands slide around your waist and hold you close as the kiss deepens, and you can feel all of the frustrations of the past slipping away. when he finally pulls back, his eyes are bright with emotion and a hint of a smile graces his lips.

he looks down at you for a moment before speaking in a low voice, "you want me to do that again?" he steps closer to you and cups your face in his hands, his eyes twinkling with amusement. you can feel the warmth radiating from his body and if it weren't for his strong arms around you, you would have melted into a puddle.

you nod slowly in agreement, too lost in the moment to say anything else. he leans down and brushes his lips against your cheek before pulling away completely, "then be honest. right here, right now. you like me."

you screw your eyes shut, basking in the shame of being found out, "i like you, solo. i like you a lot, but if you don't get off your pedestal and kiss me again i'll withdraw the opportunity."

he gazes down at you with an expression that's tender yet mischievous all at once. "i like you too," he whispers before chuckling lightly, you open your eyes to see.

his dimples are on full display, and for a second, he's the spirit of the little brat you fell in love with all those years ago. "c'mere, kid." his voice is soft as he pulls you back into him, lips meeting yours.

[littlebugs]

Can I request for Kylo Ren in which the returns with him from a failed mission? She made a mistake and maybe Kylo made it clear to her that he was very upset about it during an argument afterwards. She tries to make up for it by doing a mission on her own, only on this one she gets badly hurt and is brought back by Hux after finding her severely wounded/injured. When Kylo learns of it, he flips out thinking she wasn’t going to make it alive, but in the end, she survives and makes a full recovery. Something short and sweet in the end between them as he takes care of her during the healing process. Thanks! ❤️

(I hope this is okay! If not, feel free to ignore it!)

i love you

warnings: injury, very angsty (fluff ending), fem presenting reader (she/her pronouns), mild language, written at 1am so not the best proofreading, toxic kylo in the beginning 😓 a/n: thanks so much for the request love! i got carried away writing this lol, sorry if its a lil long!

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

"Shit," you cursed as you sprawled over the couch in yours and Kylo's living room. You'd messed up today. It was tiny, minuscule, just a little mistake. You hoped it wouldn't matter to Kylo. But you knew better.

The large door, black, matching most of the Commander's gloomy interior, swung open. And slammed shut. You nearly fell off the couch, already exhausted from the days work. "Hey Ky..." you trailed off. He looked absolutely terrifying. Blood on the toes of his boots. Holes ripped through his outfit. But the worst of all, his face. He looked- angry. Disappointed. Annoyed. Maybe even..disgusted?

"Shut up," He threatened, walking up to you. His arms crossed, feet spread apart, you knew you were in for it. From your spot now on the floor, huddled in a ball, you felt defenseless. "You messed up today," he scolded. "This was a covert operation. We had one shot at this, and you blew it." His voice was a low, seething growl.

"I'm sorry I had a- momentary.. lapse in judgment?" You didn't know what to say. This wasn't supposed to be a big deal. It was a tiny mess up. You forgot to disable a single security camera. Just one. It wouldn't matter anyhow, as the saber marks lining the walls of the Rebel base being hijacked was a sign as to who the attacker was.

"Sorry isn't going to fix this. We're on the brink of a war, and this mission was crucial. The Supreme Leader trusted us, and now, because of your mistake, we might have just handed our enemies a victory," he nearly shouted.

Kylo's voice rose as he continued, but it was as if you were underwater, the sounds muffled and distorted. Your eyes filled with tears, blurring your vision. You couldn't let him see you like this. "I-I'm sorry," you mumbled, as you got up from the ground and staggered to the door.

You scarcely cried. There were many things the two of you never did, which maybe you should have done. It wasn't a conventional relationship. You'd only cried in front of him once, years ago. He had left you, crumpled on the floor, unable to deal with the sudden emotion. He never told you he loved you. Not even once. You shared a ship, meals, even a bed with him, and even in your most intimate moments, he just... didn't seem to feel anything. At least on the exterior. You hoped.

"Leave me." you stammered, nose already running. "Did you think I was going to follow you? Pathetic. Absolutely worthless. Do you think I even care-" He stopped, dead in his tracks, after catching sight of your face, glimmering in tears. "M'sorry" you mumbled, and quietly closed the door behind you.

Breathing in the cool air of The Supremacy, you quickly wiped your face before any troopers nearby could catch sight. Word traveled fast, and although it was a big ship, news could be spread in mere hours. You remembered the first time you had to deal with the gossip, it had been your first one night stand with Kylo, before any relationship. You left in the dead of night, but one lucky Stormtrooper caught you on the security camera. The next day, half the the Supremacy was staring you down, and the other half was triumphantly giving you high fives (Knights of Ren included.)

Life seemed...simpler. Now you were plastered on the wall to Kylo's rooms, breathing in slightly sterile air as you tried to get your wits about you. It being 11pm already, you decided to make way to your old room. Walking down the hallway, you encountered little confrontation. That was the good part of being in relation to Kylo. Then there was the name calling, the teasing the "Commanders whore" whispered behind your back. It all made you want to cry again, and you were grateful to near your room.

As you unlocked the door, your old life greeted you. There wasn't much left really, as you had inhabited Kylo's space for the past months. You had thought maybe...maybe he was changing- that he would one day tell you how he felt? Yeah right, you thought, as you walked in, flopped down on the bed, and stared at the ceiling. Looking around you, a chair sat to your left, with a window showing the view of a million stars outside. A bathroom and dresser to your right, emptied of all your items. Not that you had any in the first place, but Kylo had spoiled you as of recent.

You couldn't stop thinking about him. His face when he saw your tears. The way he had yelled at you nonstop. The fact that he didn't seems to care.

In the dimly lit room, shadows danced across the walls like haunting specters. Suddenly feeling cold, you huddled beneath the covers of your bed. The air was thick with silence, now broken only by the muffled sobs that racked your body. Your fingers clutched at the sheets, the fabric twisted and knotted in fists of despair. With each passing moment, the tears fall harder, faster, until you couldn't breath. You gasped, shuddered, and with a pounding headache, went to sleep, soiled clothes and all.

Unbeknownst to you, Kylo stood near your door, listening to your sobs feeling...terrible. He hated hearing you cry. It filled him with disgust not in you, but now in himself. For making you feel this way. And through the Force, he heard your thoughts, the desperate calls to be openly loved that Kylo had so valiantly ignored. He thought to wake you, but instead headed back to his quarters.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

The next morning, at 6 am sharp, you woke up with solid determination. You were going to show him you weren't pathetic, worthless...disgusting. You were always soft, especially in comparison to him, but you weren't pathetic. Or at least you hoped so.

As you headed to the mirror, you jumped at your reflection. That wouldn't do. You would also have to make it work with the meager amount of supplies at hand, but you could do it. After opting a shower to the refresher, so you could use scented soaps and lotions, you blow dried you hair, and styled it to the best of your ability. "Not too bad," You thought to yourself as you brushed on mascara and lip balm. "Nothing crazy" you told yourself, but betrayed your thoughts as you opted for a smaller sized uniform.

Exiting your room, you felt misery and despair inside of you, but at least you looked like you had it together. Making your way down to the control center of the Supremacy took quite a while, it being a literal Mega Class Dreadnought ship, but it gave you time to think. Think of what you were going to say to him. You could apologize. You could pretend nothing happened. You could act all mushy and touchy. Or just ignore him completely.

You decided to just fuck it and ball. Walking into the room, the control center hummed with the usual tension that permeated the First Order's headquarters. The air was thick with the weight of strategic discussions and the ever-present rivalry among its officers.

Then you saw him. The air seemed to crackle with electricity as he moved, his presence commanding attention. You had always been drawn to the enigmatic power he exuded, and despite the fight, that magnetic pull remained intact. You were immediately waved over by General Hux, and as you walked over to a control table in the very front of the room, getting closer, you regretted your decision. The mask, the robes...everything about him was just huge. Intimidating. Compared to your scantily dressed body, he looked like he could envelope you whole. Maybe you wanted him to.

Deciding to play with him a little, you boldly stood next to Hux, leaning over to look at the schematics on the table so Kylo had direct view of you. Though the mask concealed his emotions, you could sense the internal turmoil beneath it. He was distracted, and you knew why.

Hux sighed and rolled his eyes, in classic fashion. He was never one for your machinations, but continued explaining the mission at hand, obviously annoyed. You didn't bother listen, opting to shift around in a way that made Kylo's fists clench.

At what seemed like the end of the brief, Hux tiredly asked "So we'll need an Admiral or Commander to volunteer for this mission. As I know both of you do not care in the least so I will just-" You cut him off. "I'll do it." Both Kylo and Hux turned towards you, silent. "But you never do anything-" The General retorted. You roll your eyes. "Shut up Hux. I'm going." The redhead sputtered. "But-you... -You don't even care! Ever!" "Ok well, I'm a Commander, and I'm going," You spat, not bothering to glance at Kylo, who hadn't moved an inch in the last minute. You stormed away, but not before hearing Hux call "Don't screw this up Commander," and scoffing.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

It wasn't going well. You had overpowered the Rebel base, which was somewhat pitiful, but managed to get a blaster wound to the side which was currently steaming in a way that did not look safe. Most of your troops had made it through, save the couple of troopers who'd been shot here and there. The masks made it harder to remember they were human, people on the inside. Limping back to your ship, you woozily asked Hux to make someone check the surrounding areas for stragglers as you slumped into the seat, adrenaline still preventing you from feeling the full pain of your wound.

Setting the TIE on autopilot, slowly coming back to reality, you looked down to the left of your torso. You had almost dodged the blast, the wound cauterized by the superheated plasma, leaving a sizzling, blackened mark on your flesh. Smoke rose from the wound, carrying with it the acrid scent of burnt fabric and singed skin. The pain intensified with each passing second, as if a red-hot poker has been driven into your side.

You clenched your teeth, trying to stifle a scream, as you grasped at the wound. Your fingers came away slick with your own blood, which oozed from the wound and trickled down your side. The ride was short. Only 30 minutes at full speed. You could probably..maybe hold on. You busied yourself coating the wound with Bacta spray, which took most the time, considering the fact that every movement made your side burn and sting like never before.

After successfully applying the antiseptic, you started to see the giant that was the Supremacy. It slowly appeared as a behemoth of steel and darkness, adorned with the stark, angular design characteristic of First Order aesthetics you had come to be so familiar with. You were on course, but you'd have to manually land the plane. "Oh for Kriffs sake" you muttered to yourself, trying to figure out how you were even alive.

You painstakingly moved your right arm to the control panel, and started the descent, aiming for one of the many hangars. It seemed to take forever, but with a final, skillful maneuver, you brought the ship to a shaky landing on the hangar deck. The ship's landing struts had absorbed the impact, but the screech of metal against metal reverberated through the hangar.

You all but fell out of the fighter, letting out a strained "I'm aight-" before collapsing into the arms of medical personnel, whom immediately transported you to the medical wing.

Not known to you, the second of your arrival, Kylo was storming down the hall, looking menacing as ever. Although he looked same as ever, on the inside, his emotions swirled inside of him. He was freaking out. He powered through the med bay, drawing terrified looks from doctors and patients alike, not stopping until he found your room.

He ripped the door open, all calm was lost. "Is she alright?" He boomed, modified voice scaring the living daylights out of the doctors and nurses surrounding you. "S-Sir, erm-Commander we think she'll most likely survive with minor s-setback" A doctor answers, inspecting the wound as to not have to face Ren.

He sat down on a chair, further terrifying the staff with his presence. "She'd better," Kylo fumed, prepared to annihilate the staff over anything. He didn't know what made him feel like this, but he was prepared to wait days for you to awake. And wait he did.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

It was early morning. You had just woken up, not in the Med Bay, but... in his room. He was already awake, looking at you with those deep brown eyes. You looked around, surveying the surroundings. You were wearing his sleep clothes, all too big on you, hair smelling freshly washed. You had an IV hooked up to your arm, and the stiff bandage across your torso chafed against delicate skin.

"I'm sorry" He uttered, quietly. "I said those things, and I... shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I don't- feel like that about you. I think you're.." He trailed off. He'd never said sorry before. You didn't know how to react.

Looking at him, caring for you in your injury made you frown. "Why do you- why do you care?"

"Here, lay down. Have some soup." He nudged you gently, positioning pillows behind your head. You were so shocked, you almost forgot your previous question. "Wait, but why are you doing this?" You whisper, voice hoarse.

"Because I love you"

[hyperspacedreams]

Pitiful Anonymous Masterlist

This is my first *actual* fanfic attempt, so sorry if this is absolute cringe. VERY angsty and slow burn!! Open to any advice and suggestions!! <3 ENJOY!!

Chapter 1

[jays-rus]

My birthday is coming up soon and I was hoping I could make a request if you’re still open for it? If so, can I request a birthday scene with Kylo Ren in which he isn’t quite sure what to do or give her for her birthday so he takes a day and spoils her like she’s never been spoiled before? Thanks a lot!

A birthday to remember

------------------------------------

Kylo Ren paced the dimly lit corridor of his quarters on the Star Destroyer. He could command fleets and inspire fear across the galaxy, but the thought of a birthday had him perplexed. He’d never given much thought to birthdays; he had forgotten his own more times than he cared to remember. Yet, today was different. Today was Y/n's birthday.

Y/n had once mentioned in passing how her birthdays were simple affairs back on Tatooine. A small cake, perhaps, if she could scrounge together the ingredients, but mostly just another day. Kylo knew she deserved more than just "another day."

Determined, he stepped out of his quarters and summoned a few trusted officers. "Prepare the shuttle. We’re leaving the Star Destroyer for the day," he ordered. "And see to it that everything I asked for is ready."

Y/n was on the observation deck, watching the stars streak by when Kylo found her. "Come with me," he said simply, extending his hand. She looked at him curiously but took his hand.

The shuttle ride was quiet, with Kylo occasionally glancing at Y/n, who seemed content to gaze out at the stars. He had arranged for them to visit Alderaan, a planet renowned for its breathtaking landscapes and lush greenery. Y/n had never been, and Kylo hoped it would be a good start to the day he had planned.

Upon landing, Kylo led Y/n to a secluded glade surrounded by towering trees and vibrant flowers. A picnic spread awaited them, complete with exotic fruits and pastries from around the galaxy. Y/n's eyes widened in surprise and delight. "You did all this?" she asked, looking at him with a mix of astonishment and gratitude.

Kylo nodded, a rare smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I wanted to do something special for you," he said, his voice softer than usual.

They spent the afternoon exploring the rolling hills and crystal-clear streams. Y/n couldn't remember the last time she felt so at peace. Kylo was attentive, pointing out various flora and fauna, and even telling her about some of the history of Alderaan.

As the sun began to set, they returned to the glade, where a small cake awaited them. It was a simple cake, but it was perfect. They shared it, laughing and talking about their adventures and dreams.

"I've never had a birthday like this," Y/n admitted, her eyes shining in the fading light. "Thank you, Ben."

Kylo looked at her, his heart full. "You deserve it, Y/n. You deserve the world."

They sat there, watching the stars come out one by one, content in each other's company. It was a birthday Y/n would never forget, and Kylo realized that spoiling someone wasn't about material things. It was about making them feel loved and appreciated, and he was determined to do that for Y/n every day.

[venushasvixens]

I’m back! What’s new? - New fics, platforms and more!

Hi everyone!

Its been a while for sure. In that time, there has been a lot of real life events, moments, and projects I have been working on.

Life is But a Dream - FINISHED

Yes everyone, this fic is done. I will be posting the last chapters on here. I will be including an epilogue sometime in December to finally wrap up this story. Doing this fic for close to 3 years has been a treasure, and I will forever love Spike Spiegel and this fandom.

See you cowboys and cowgirls, someday, somewhere!

NEW FIC! NEW FIC! Vampires, a life story and an old flame?

Our Hearts Condemn Us - A Kylo Ren Vampire AU

You are a writer for a local paper, desperate to find your big break. Given a new assignment with a high paying client, you are whisked into the presence of the mysterious Mr. Ren, a man whose power holds no bounds.

Sessions with him are secretive and tense, with certain questionable habits that only urban legends can come up with. But he's charming, a bit of an asshole and somehow, he’s bringing down your defensive walls. You don’t know about this connection, but it feels right. You never had such handsome eyes that look upon you endearingly...you think.

But there is something about him, that seems so familiar. But you just can't place it…

This is a brand new fic set in an alternate universe, with included Star Wars characters. This fic is also 18+!

[I DO NOT OWN THE STAR WARS FRANCHISE OR CHARACTERS]

What platforms am I on?

-

BlueSky : venushasvixens.bksy.social

Wattpad: VenusHasVixens

Ao3: VenusHasVixens

Thank you guys, and thank you for reading!

[jinx-xxed]

Protected

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

A/N; I love characters protecting their too-stubborn partners

Part of Written in the Stars

Summary; Kylo Ren does the worst thing imaginable in order to save you—he forces you off the battlefield.

Content; Angst to fluff, Supreme Leader Kylo, Commander Reader, original characters, bonded to Kylo through the Force, reader gets seriously injured, very protective Kylo, Kylo doesn’t want you to die, Kylo’s scared of losing you, and you’re scared of losing him, mention of Kylo dual wielding after he takes your lightsaber (he’s crazy), battlefield Kylo (my favorite), reader gets sentenced to the infirmary, talking about feelings, cuddling

Wc; 2.4k

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

“You can’t do this!”

Your boots slip in the mud as you’re dragged backwards, you struggle against the hands that hold you. Rain pelts your body, drenches the entire battlefield, is illuminated in its fall to the ground by the ship headlights. Your infuriated gaze is stuck on the man before you; dressed in black, form eerily illuminated by the crackling red light of his saber and the blue undertones of the world around you. The silver around the visor in his mask seems to absorb the fluorescent lights of the ship, reflecting them back towards you. His steps sink into the skid marks you’ve left in the mud, walking in front of you in stride with your restrainers.

“Let me go!” You yell, thrashing as best you can, ignoring the screaming agony reverberating through your left side, hisses spat from between your teeth. You try with everything in you to free yourself from the members of your personal fleet that have a hold of you—Eera, Chief, and Rankou—your own comrades being used against you to keep you down. You’d expect your authority over them to work in your favor and for them to release you but considering the order came from Kylo, you’re sorely overruled.

“This is for your own good!” Chief says over the rain and thunderous noise of the battle happening just beyond the mountains that surround you all in this hidden alcove. She grunts as your elbow manages to fly back and hit her side, though her grip doesn’t budge.

“I can still fight! You can’t send me away like this!” You shout. Your captors pause briefly, allowing you to fall to your knees, mud and freezing cold water soaking into your clothes, chilling your war-heated body. Your chest heaves, puffs of your breath visible in the air. Every inhale hurts, every twitch of muscle aches and sends lightning bolts of pain across your limbs.

“I can, and I will.” Kylo says definitively, voice spat through the vocoder within his helmet. “You’re injured and in no state to be on a battlefield.”

“Bullshit, so are you!” You snarl, giving one last thrash of your arms, your strength already weakening. Your anger explodes, and you know he feels it along the bond you share. He can probably taste it in his mouth. It’s like he’s undermining you, underestimating your ability to fight right alongside him. But beyond that, you’re angry at him for making you leave him here alone. This fight is not easy, and it will continue to get harder, and he’s sending you away to deal with it on his own. Sure, he has the soldiers, but they’re just fodder in your eyes. He’s the one your enemies are after, he’s the one at the forefront, he’s the one who takes the brunt of it all. And you’re supposed to be there to be his shield. Sword and shield, that’s what you two are.

His own emotions along the bond come forward to combat yours, clashing in a similar fashion to the way lightsabers might. His are born from concern, for a need to protect you after he saw you be a direct victim of an explosion, after he had to drag your half-concious form off the field while your blood created a trail along the ground.

Your left side remains gaping still, red mixing with the rain and being washed away. It stings, it hurts like hell, but it still hurts less than being forced to leave him.

“Mine are minor. You will die if you stay out here.” He says. His injuries are a few mere scratches and wounds from blasters grazing his arms, nothing nearly as severe as your own. Your struggling has made it worse, torn it further at the edges, caused more blood to spill. He sees as such, and his disapproval is palpable. “You need to leave.”

You begin to get pulled again. The ramp to the ship is less than a foot away. “No! No, no, you can’t! Ren, you bastard!” You scream. You spit, you curse, you snarl—you act like a raging, rabid animal. In your flailing attempts at freedom, your lightsaber comes loose of its place on your belt, audibly falling into the mud. Theres a brief second where everything seems to freeze as your eyes land on it, and so do Kylo’s, his thought process easily following your own. You both go for it at the same time, both reaching out for it desperately with the Force, eager to be the first to grab it. Since it’s your own weapon, naturally it should have more affinity towards you and you feel that invisible grip on it, but in your weakened state, Kylo overpowers you with infuriating ease and it feels like he shoves you aside to take over. He yanks it from your grip as you yell, the metal handle flying into his outstretched hand and well away from you.

“No! Give that back!” You demand. It’s your own damn lightsaber, he has no right-

He clips it onto his belt, safely out of your reach. “I’ll give it back once this is done.” He then closes the distance between you at last, his gloved hand coming up to cup your cheek, thumb wiping away a raindrop that falls from your eyelashes. He leans forward, presses the cold muzzle of his helmet against your forehead as if to kiss you. His voice is low when he says, “I’ll find you again. I promise.”

You feel a pull against your mind, a tug in the direction you were already heading. It’s supposed to be simple like falling asleep but it feels more like getting the floor ripped out from under you. Kylo uses his ability to lull you into unconsciousness, taking advantage of your waning strength and sucking away more of it to make you less of a difficulty for the rest of them. Darkness swims at the edges of your vision, your body goes slack and your head lolls.

He straightens, looking to the Fleet members who hold you. “Get her on that ship and get her out of here.” His order is final, and then you can just barely see him as he walks away, his black-robed form swimming and blending in with the world around him.

“N-no, no…” Emotion cracks your voice, tears mix with the rain until they’re indistinguishable. You don’t know if the tears are from your own fear or your anger or both. You feel your comrades pull you onto the ship like it’s secondary, like it’s happening to someone who isn’t you. You feel the ramp close and the engines come to life. You feel a final despair as you’re taken into the warm embrace of the darkness.

» ☆ «

The door to your infirmary room opens. It’s followed by the familiar thudding of boots, the swish of a cape, until it all stops and Kylo stands next to your bed. Your back is turned to him, body curled up as best it can be without irritating the wounds wrapped in generous gauze. Your shoulders hunch as you feel him staring, you curl up just a bit tighter. Your stubborn attitude keeps you from facing him, so you ignore him in a futile attempt at pretending he’s not there. It’s an impossible task when his presence is so obvious and imposing, especially when you’re bonded to him.

“Love,” he says after a moment; his helmet is off, his voice clear. He waits another moment, silence stretching between you both. “Look at me.”

As much as you want to keep being stubborn, you can’t ignore the relief you feel at having him there, knowing he’s okay after not seeing him for four days—even if you were unconscious for half of that. You roll over, meeting his gaze at last. His face visibly softens when he can look at you and he sets his helmet that had been tucked under his arm aside. He settles himself on the edge of the bed next to you, making a significant dip that has you sliding closer to him. Kylo reaches forward to brush the backs of his gloved fingers against your cheek, then holding his hand there and leaning to kiss you. It’s gentle and easy against your lips, more of a greeting than anything. He pulls away and his eyes fall towards the bandages covering the entirety of your left side, visible beneath the tank top you wear. A healthy amount of bacta is smeared along the gauze, already fully healing a majority of your injuries.

His attention doesn’t lift from them as he says, “the battle was won.”

“I expected no less.” You reply with nothing but honesty. Your victories are almost always assured, your enemies being no match for the First Order. Though of course, some are harder to win than others.

There’s another silence between you as he idly runs his thumb along the back of your hand. He’s considering his next words, thinking of what to say. You get the general sense of his concentration along your connection, mixed with the colors of muddy blue and purple and gray—colors of uncertainty. “I’m sorry for what I did.” He says finally. An apology was not what you were expecting to hear from him, but it’s welcome nonetheless. Apologies from him are always rare, and it’s clear this one still took him a good amount of effort.

Your chin dips in the slightest hint of a nod, a sigh blowing through your nose. “We’re supposed to be partners. We fight together.” You say. “I could’ve done more.”

His free hand clenches into a fist. “I did what I had to to save you. I was not going to let you die trying to protect me.” He says roughly. “When I saw that explosion hit you I… you have no idea what that did to me. You were barely conscious, I thought that you…” He cuts himself off, his jaw clenching at the memory. You have a faint recollection of the emotion you’d felt from him in that moment, so fierce and clear along the bond that you could still feel it even in your state. He was beyond furious, ready to kill each and every last person who harmed you, to unleash infinite hells upon the enemy forces. But above all, he was scared. He was terrified that he was going to lose you as he watched your blood seep out in a steady stream, mixing with the mud beneath you.

You take his hand into your own, drawing him out of the dark cloud he stuck himself into. “I know. I know you were just protecting me. It’s just hard to accept that when your entire life has been dedicated to being a war commander. You never want to get taken off the field.” His hand is warm, blissfully so against your cold ones. The leather of his gloves is familiar. “Thank you.”

You can tell he’s not sure how to take being thanked, he never has been, so he changes the subject. “How are your injuries?”

“They’re better, almost fully healed. It’s just some of the major ones that need more time, perhaps another day, the medics said. Not sure what the scarring situation may look like.” You say, pondering the idea. You received severe burns and cuts from shrapnel, but the bacta is quick to reverse damage, so who knows if you’ll sustain any reminders of the wounds at all. “What about yours?”

He shakes his head. “They were nothing to be concerned about. A touch of bacta on the worst of them and I’m fine.”

“That’s good to hear.” You say with a small smile. It seems neither of you can ever come out of a battle uninjured.

He reaches over to his belt, unclipping a familiar item and depositing it into your hands. “Here, as promised.” You stare at your lightsaber handle, feeling that sturdy weight and all the different notches and engravings. It feels like an old friend, a companion through thick and thin. However, embedded into that metal is something else, a recent memory that doesn’t belong to you. A brief scene flashes through your mind, of hands that aren’t yours gripping the saber, both ends ablaze with red fury, twisting and thrashing it.

You look up at Kylo, astonishment clear on your face. “You used my lightsaber? I can’t believe you.” You say teasingly, raising a brow. He avoids your gaze, seemingly embarrassed to admit anything. You chuckle. “So, how was it?”

“It was… fine.” He bites the words out before he composes himself. “I can see why it requires such skill to handle one like yours. Your abilities are impressive.”

You smile again. “Thanks. I’m glad you didn’t hurt yourself with it.” He rolls his eyes at that and you laugh as you set your lightsaber safely aside.

When you do, your eyes catch on the clock positioned on the wall that reads how late it is. The crew of the Steadfast is probably preparing to power down for the night and those taking the night patrols are getting ready for their shifts. You tap your fingers in thought, debating what you want to ask instead of just saying it like a wimp.

“I’ll stay here with you.” Kylo says, before you can manage to get it out. He saw the question formulating in your mind, felt the desire for him to keep close. He doesn’t want to leave you either.

“Are you sure? It’s a tight fit.” You point out. “I understand if you’d rather sleep in your own bed.” The infirmary beds are always small, sometimes even smaller than standard dorm beds, though this one is a just a tad bigger than usual because you’re the one sleeping in it. Sometimes your status can be useful.

“Of course I’m sure.” He responds, like it’s the easiest decision in the world.

You scoot over to make as much room as you can for his hulking form. Kylo gets in behind you after kicking his boots off, about an inch away from falling off the bed, and pulls you close. He’s so very careful of your injuries, his arms snug around your body, his face buried in the crook of your neck. His steady breathing tickles your skin and his warmth bleeds into you, chasing away the chill of the infirmary as the lights dim to darkness.

The bond between you becomes relaxed, producing a mixture of warm colors and happy feelings that’s cultivated easily by the two of you in your state of peace as sleep is quick to claim you both.

[dani-onearth]

Merciful & Misnamed [2]

Kylo Ren x fem reader

[Part One] - Part Two - [Part Three] - [Part Four] - [Part Five] - [Part Six] - [Part Seven] Summary: Power was supposed to erase you from his mind, but you're still here, looking at him like the boy he used to be. You were supposed to hate him enough that he could live with it, but you whispered his name like you never stopped saying it. And he can't stop hearing it. Warnings: More angst! Strong language. Word Count: 4.37k Authors note: Read part one for context! I think you could read this (or part one) as a standalone fic, but reading them together would make for a much more nuanced story. Thank you to everyone who read my first one, and thank you to everyone who is here now. This has been so much fun. I'm glad I'm writing again!

The metal slab in your cell was starting to create a kink in your neck. You’d been using your jacket as a pillow and you think you would rather have a rock. If only you had appreciated those nights on the Resistance ship when you drew the short straw to sleep in the booth. No one would trade with you, not even for half of a dinner ration. It was lumpy and old, itchy and stained... but what you wouldn’t give for a booth right now.

This slab was too cold. The air was too dry. You were too thirsty. 

Just as you found a comfortable position and your mind was drifting off, the loud buzz from the door had you sit up. There stood a stormtrooper with restraints. He didn’t seem the type to respond well if you asked him for five more minutes. So you dragged your feet over to him and held out your hands. A real model prisoner. 

You didn’t even ask where you were going as you stepped down the same sterile hallway with humming lights. Your breath hitched as you passed the execution hall, even after you’d been taken past it. 

You approach familiar doors. You’d been brought here on your first day for interrogation. They slide open the same way and the room is as sterile as you remember it. Empty, save for the single restraint chair bolted to the middle of the floor and a figure standing just beyond it, cloaked in black.

Kylo Ren doesn’t move when the guards bring you in and seal you into the magnetic cuffs. The guards leave promptly, like they had been warned not to stick around. 

“You’re late.” He spoke, like you had a choice. 

You rolled your eyes. “Traffic.”

He turns, slowly approaching you. His steps echo, but he stays far enough.

“I was told you were uncooperative when they brought you in.”

You can only sneer. “I didn’t realize you were looking for cooperation, I thought this was a kidnapping.”

He takes a couple steps forward. “Your squad was larger than our intel suggested. I’m looking for information.”

You laugh at him, letting it cut a little louder than it really needed to. “Why? Planning to wipe out another outpost so you can sleep better in your giant sad-boy helmet?”

“They’ll die either way. You can spare them unnecessary pain. Or not. It makes no difference to me.”

“I think it does make a difference.” You lean forward as far as the restraints will let you, shoulders tense against the hold. “Because if it didn’t, I wouldn’t be here locked up in your little torture recliner. Have you run out of prisoners?”

His helmet shifts. “I requested you.”

“You asked for me personally. That’s cute.” You lay back, looking away from him in indifference, pushing a dry laugh from your throat.

But he steps close. Too controlled. His boots dragged across the floor. “You talk like you know me.” His words slide across your skin.

“I did.”

A pause, and the air flickered. “He’s dead.”

You don’t flinch. You watch his reflection in the steel wall instead of the void where his face should be. “Don’t act like I don’t know what's under all that metal. I think you forgot… I can feel you.”

He stills.

“Not the way people on this ship can. I’m not one of your soldiers who trip over themselves trying to avoid eye contact. I can really feel you. Through whatever’s still tethered between us.” His shoulder ticks and the room gets smaller. He’s quiet. And you look directly at him now. “I know why I’m here, and it’s not because I have intel you don’t already know. I still take up space in your head. I still feel like something you never managed to bury.” He moves again, circling like a predator. “You’re not here for answers, Kylo. You’re trying to shove me in a box to label me as your enemy so you can pretend I was never more than that.”

His gloved hands curl at his side. “You were never more than that.”

The words felt like a slap to the face, but you didnt let it show. You shake your head. “I didn’t think of you as a liar.”

He crosses the last few feet in long, quick, dangerous strides. He loomed over you now and the shadow of him swallowed your chair and most of your breath with it. “Don’t confuse my patience for affection. You are here because I allowed it. You aren’t tethered to me—you’re restrained to a chair. You think you’re clever but I could tear your mind apart with one breath.” He leans down, his voice just a rattling mechanical whisper in your ear. “I’m going to get what I need from you.”

You raised your head up, getting as close to his mask as you could without touching it. “No.”

You could feel his breath through the vents of his mask. "You think you're strong enough to resist me? I’ll take what I want.” A quiet rage in every syllable. 

“You can try.”

His gloved hand raises and he takes a single step back; you brace yourself. It hovered just in front of your temple, the air between you buzzed. The pressure coiled around your mind, starting behind your eyes and scratching at your thoughts like claws. You grit your teeth, jaw clenched against the invasion. 

Flashes, names, your squad, your missions, the maps, the meetings… All of it shoved to the front of your brain against your will and your whole body tensed. But you shoved it back behind a locked door and wrapped barbed wire around them. 

He faltered, stumbled. Then, he grunted, deep and low, and reached even harder as he tried to break the dam. Your head rang as you screamed out, arms shaking in the restraints. 

“Tell me what I want to know.” 

“You think this proves you’re stronger?” You gasped out the words, voice cracking in restraint. “You're not looking for answers. You just want to win.”

His fingers twitched. “I already have.” You locked eyes with him and your anger twisted sharply into grief. “You’re here. In my chains. In my hands.”

You held the line as best you could. Your face contorted. You could feel him digging and pulling at every thread and it was then you decided to let go. 

Just a single thread. One disobedient memory you would allow to unspool.

The large hand that held yours was clammy in this humidity, but you felt the coolness of the lake nearby. You were almost there. Your stifled giggles meshed with his, running across roots and hills, quickly looking behind you in case you two were seen running off like school children. You two slipped through the shadows, feeling electric, barefoot across damp grass. He kept his pace beside you, too tall for stealth, shoulders brushing as you dipped under branches and vaulted over logs.

The lake broke through the trees; the secret spot was entirely still until you got closer. It glowed from beneath. A cool cyan light rippled under the surface. Veins in glass. Thin lily-like flowers floated along the shore. You both stopped, gasping for air, cheeks flushed and skin dewy with sweat.

Ben's hand yanked yours before you could even think about it, running straight for the water.

You weren’t supposed to. It was freezing, but you didn’t care and neither did he. His grin turned boyish as he splashed you, chased you in circles, and you yelped when he pulled you in. You played and let your mind go blank. Jedi didn’t get to be children and you had forgotten how good it felt to be weightless.

You laughed when he dove under, his dark hair plastered to his face when he came back up. You smiled with your whole face and he thought—Stars, I’m done for.

When you both collapsed on the mossy bank, soaked and breathless, your arms touched. Neither of you moved. He listened to your breathing and you pretended not to watch his lips. The moonlight caught the curve of his jaw and slivered across his cheek. His soaked tunic clung to his chest. His rapid pulse was visible in his neck. This wasn’t in the training. Not meditation or sparring or study… you weren't supposed to feel this. You weren’t supposed to crave the closeness of somebody... but he was so warm and all you could think about was how his hands pulled at your waist underwater.

Ben made you dizzy.

He shifted first. Just a few inches, but your heart tried not to leap out of your chest. The Force had always hummed softly between you two, but now it was swelling. It was thick and charged and it pulled at you. It was tangling, feeding off the proximity. It was changing. Even the brush of his fingers against yours felt like static. He watched your eyes, your mouth, the rise and fall of your chest. You made him nervous.

You, of all people. Someone who had always looked at him like he was just a person—not Solo’s kid, not a Skywalker, not a name in someone else's brooding shadow.

And over the rustle of trees, the chirps of the forest, the rhythm of the water reaching the shore, there was a low whisper. His voice barely audible, like he was telling you a secret.

“I’m in love.”

You didn’t ask with who.

You didn’t have to.

The moss beneath your back turned to cold metal. The warmth faded and the night vanished. The stars. The glow. His voice. You blinked at the tall ceilings of the enclosed room, the memory still clinging to your skin so much you would swear your clothes were still damp.

But Kylo Ren was standing much further away then you remember—rigid and silent, like a statue carved to represent fury. So you didn’t look at him. It would make it harder to pretend like showing him that didn’t gut you.

Then, something in the air snapped. He moved so fast that the force shuddered around him. The chair behind him rattled and sparks flew from wires in the wall. “You think that was funny?”

You didn’t answer.

“I should kill you for that.” He said, keeping more of a distance than before. A more intimidating stance took over his posture.

Your voice faltered, but your eyes were sharp, even if they were lined with tears. “But you won't.”

The room pulsed with power. For a moment, you thought he’d crush the walls in on you both. 

“GUARDS.” The word cracked like thunder and the doors opened quickly, boots stomped in but he wouldn’t take his eyes off of you. “Get her out of my sight.”

They unclipped your restraints and dragged you toward the door, but you caught a final glimpse at him—shoulders back, shaking, and something ugly that was burning his posture—and then the door shut. Behind it; a crash. Metal tearing. Something shattering.

Kylo Ren shattering.

The moment the cell door closes, all that's left with you is the dim hum of the ship and a hollow ache in your ribs. You sink down on the metal slab and don’t even think about the stiffness of it. The cold doesn’t faze you. You barely notice it right now. 

The restraints had left a ring around your wrists—raw and pink. An open wound hand formed by the knuckle of your wrists, right where the bone juts out beneath the skin. The angry gash has blood already crusted under the torn seam of your sleeve, and you peel the fabric back just enough to look at it.

Hours drag by in silence, each one stretching longer than the last. Your nightly ration clatters through the slot, breaking the monotony with the hollow wrinkle of the wrapping. You stare at it, untouched, for what could be another hour, maybe more. 

You’re hungry, you just don't want to move. You’re tired, but you refuse to close your eyes. Not if it means seeing him behind your eyelids. Ben… the boy who once told you he was in love while his fingers tangled with yours. 

So what if you're feeling sorry for yourself? You’ve got nothing but time. 

The lights above you hum, and somewhere far off, you know it's him. He’s getting closer to you. Confirmed when the cell door slides open and he walks in like he owns the place.

No helmet. 

Ben Solo stands in your cell, shoulders tense and assertive. He was here to prove a point. 

“You couldn’t help yourself, could you?” His voice is low and poisonous. “You had no right showing me that.” 

He looked down on you as you still lay flat on the slab. “You should've stayed out of my head, then.”

He steps closer, now standing above you, nostrils flaring. “That night wasn’t yours to use against me.”

“That night was ours.”

He turns away, pacing a sharp line. His hands curled so sharply the leather moaned. “You think I wanted to see that again? You think I wanted to remember something that never should've happened?”

“No, but I think you needed to.” You sat up quickly, watching him unravel as the heat rolled off of him in waves of anger. Maybe it was confusion. Either way, he was boiling under this memory, footsteps tracking tension in his march.

“Don’t pretend this was for me.”

“You were the one who came into my head looking for something.” You tutted forward, antagonizing him.

“You weaponized it. You used it. Something real—something I—” But he doesn't finish the sentence. His eyes just flash, his jaw tightens, his pacing stops and his stance faces you. “Ben is dead.”

“Yeah.” You murmur. “You mentioned that.”

His breath shifts like the air around you and you feel a spark of that barely-contained Force power again. It was humming in your sternum like a second heartbeat; you felt the instinct clawing up his throat. 

“Stop acting like you know what I am,” he snaps. “You have no idea anymore. I didn't mean it. I never meant it"

"You can't just say that and make it true."

"Stop telling me how to feel." He almost screamed.

“I can't make you feel anything.” You say quieter, taking one step toward him. “That part’s on you, Ben.” You spit the name out, like you didn't want it to go to waste. 

He moves fast. Too fast for a regular man, until he lands right in front of you. Instinctively, you stumble back a step or two, but hold your ground nonetheless. With his breath on your face, eyes looming down into yours, you feel the rage shake through him, pulsing under all that armor. You don’t know what he wants to say, it’s caught in his throat. And the silence stretches. Your pulse thuds in your ears.

And when he finally speaks, it sounds too bare, too sudden, slipping out of a whisper he couldn’t hold back. “I hate what you do to me.”

Your breath catches and you watch his eyes lighten for a second. The force between you is a wire now—taut, soaked in heat and resistance, pulling you in ways you don’t understand anymore. You can feel his regret. His shame. How hard he’s fighting not to shut it all off.

But if nothing else, Ben is stubborn. So he steps back, leaving you to realize how cold the room feels again. His eyes flickered down and he sees your wrist. The broken skin split open and beginning to scab

“What is that?” His voice cut through the silent tension. “From earlier? You didn’t say anything.”

You look away. “Didn’t realize you were offering prisoners medical courtesy.”

He was still staring at it and his brows furrowed. His anger doesn’t vanish, but instead mutates into sourness. You expect him to turn away, storm off with his cape treading behind him with the slam of the cell door—but he takes a step back, looking at you like you had hit him. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” you mutter, suddenly exhausted.

He doesn't answer, but you feel it. The part of him that he swears is dead, and he’s terrified that he was wrong. It made you want to cry.

Your mouth opens, but you didn’t even know what you were about to say. Something cruel, something soft… which side of you is even winning anymore? Your throat tightens before anything comes out and he turns away.

Without a word, without a final threat, he’s gone. Silence and a sharp closing door, leaving you with just the sound of your own breathing. But something of him remains locked in there with you as you stare at the spot where he stood moments ago, still braced for the next blow, the next sharp word, the next crack in his voice that makes you question who you’re really fighting. 

You sink back slowly down the cold wall, but not because you’re tired—though you are— but you are just so unsteady. Everything inside you is making you feel claustrophobic, like you need to tear the skin right off your body. You press the palms of your hands to the cool floor to ground yourself, but your bleeding hand trembles. It stings, and you close your eyes and tip your head back, swallowing the sound rising in your chest. It stings that you saw him. Ben. The furious boy you once knew to place a flower behind your ear. You mourned him and hated that you wished he was mourning you too.

You don’t even know what you were trying to accomplish when you spoke to him the way you did. To hurt him? Reach him? Prove you could still get under his skin? It felt like yours had been peeled back and exposed in front of him. Maybe it was all of it at once, mixed up in a muddy concoction. You’re unsure of where your defiance ends and where your grief begins and your knees curl in, the motion attempting to protect you against everything that’s happened.

Then the doors open. It’s not him.

It’s a medic, eyes glued to their tablet and the fresh blood on your wrist. They help you stand and you follow without a word, body aching with exhaustion. You’re led to the medbay in silence.

It smelled sterile, but there are sheets on this cot. Cushioned under a fluorescent light, and you were allowed to lie down on it. They fix your wrist, take your vitals, and offer you water. You drink and even thank them. Before they are finished with you, your eyes had gotten heavy.

The bandage is snug around your wrist. The medic says something, maybe about your vitals, or dosage, but it just swims past your ears and you sink into the cots padding. The hum of the medbay is steady, like breathing. The brightness of the lights behind your lids are replaced by something softer... moonlight. You can almost hear it. The bubbles of laughter in your head bleeds into an echo of another sound. Water lapping against your torso.

In the cold corridor, just outside, polished boots slow to a stop. He doesn't ask for a report. The medic steps out and see’s him already standing there, still in all black, no mask. 

“Her wound has been taken care of.” The medic says. “We will return her to her cell immediately, sir.”

“No,” he says calmly, maybe even softly before he fixes his tone. “She needs to be well rested before further interrogation.”

That didn't make sense and he knew it. What kind of prisoner gets treated in the enemies clinic for a cut? Allowed a pillow and time to sleep on it?

“Of course, sir.” The medic excuses themselves anyway, leaving Kylo with the steady pulse of the machinery next to the slow rhythm of your resting breath. 

He’s just inside, far, but just far enough that he can see your face clearly. Your brows relaxed in your sleep, lashes places against your cheeks. The cot is too small and the light was too harsh and the bandage was too fresh. 

He should leave. 

There’s no logic in staying.

But his feet won’t move.

You shift slightly, his eyes following each flicker of movement—studying the curve of your shoulder, the softness of your hand, the bruise along your collarbone where the restraints had caught you too roughly. He had put those there.

She’s a liability. A threat to his power. A living part of his past he has to silence.

But standing there, unmasked, silent, and lonely, the truth scrapes at his bones. Because… you're not a threat—he is. 

The echo of the memory sat on his chest. He can still see you in that lake, feel the ghost of your laughter in his ribs. Your fingers in his. Your voice when you whispered to him.

And his jaw clenches, he looks down at his gloved hands like they don’t belong to him. He’s killed for far less than what he’s feeling now. But he still doesn’t leave.

His eyes scan you again, more carefully this time. Your fingertips twitch in your sleep and your lips part slightly. Your chest rises and falls in a human rhythm.

You were never more than that, he said to you, bitterly. But of course you were. More.

He takes a step closer, stopping before it becomes betrayal toward himself. 

Your mouth stirs with a sound… his name, broken and quiet. He almost reaches for your hand. He almost brushes a strand of hair back from your cheek. He almost forgets who he has become. 

He can only watch you for one more breath, maybe two, maybe three, four, until it hurts to stay. Until it hurts to leave. But he turns, silently and carefully, just slipping out into the hallway. One more shadow in a ship that’s full of them.

He stepped inside his quarters—the tomb he built for himself. Barren and silent. He stripped himself of his cloak, letting it fall, forgotten on the floor. Each movement was automatic as he shed the diseased items. But the real armor was stitched into his skin now, and he had to sleep in it. 

He sat on the edge of his bed that was too wide for just one person. His heart was dull, thick, aching. He wished you had just screamed at him, fought him, spit at him in a way he could ignore and prove himself mighty. He wished he could have let you die. Years ago. Yesterday. Today. He wished could just follow his prerogative and cut ties with all this worldly emotion. 

He was a killer. He was a monster.

If Ben is dead, then who is he when she’s living in his mind? 

Of all things, you showed him that. That night, still impossibly carved in his head in some distant corner he shoved away. A warm feeling he thought he had obliterated. A version of their hands laced together, you looking at him like the galaxy wasn’t trying to kill you both. 

He leaned back, spine pressed against the thick blanket until he was staring at the windowed ceiling. The stars reminded him of the lake that night and his hand twitched at his side, remembering the phantom of your own hand resting there once. 

“I’m in love,” he had said. Soft and boyish. Exposed in how it sounded.

And you smiled at him. “Me too.”

He swore the world bent in your direction in that moment and his mind empties at just the way you were hangin on his every movement. His mind went quiet, maybe for the first time in his life, all the noise just stopped. Everything went away and it felt like wet clothes and a warm shoulder so close to his body he shuddered.

The wind slowed even the glowing water seemed to dim and still itself, kneeling to you and him, opening its rippling mouth to say 'look at her... she's yours... take her...'

The pull in his chest was so deep it almost hurt. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else ever had, and he was sure nothing else ever would. He was just Ben, and he felt special under your gaze.

You reached out, fingers brushing inside his wrist, a soft entanglement. He felt the touch like a torch, a promise of something too good to deserve. His cheek pressed to the moss, nose almost brushing yours. His heart slammed against his body, loud in the quiet hum between you. The Force was no longer just connecting you, it wanted you together. It was begging him to close the distance.

How could he not love someone like you? Soft, bright, kind, dangerous in the way you made him feel selfish things. Made him crave this sort of collision against everything the Jedi warned against. Maybe with you, there was a life where he didn't have to apologize for who he was.

And right now, with your eyes half lidded and your lips jarring slightly, you weren't pushing him away. If anything, you were pulling him closer with patience and comfort. And he wanted nothing else but you.

His hand shifted ever the moss, not realizing it until his fingers touched your jaw. His thumb brushed against your cheekbone.

And you leaned in.

And he leaned in, too.

He could feel your breath, warm and steady.

Closer now, enough to make his lips part.

Enough to make his eyes slip shut. 

And then—

Nothing.

Just his eyes opening to the glass ceiling of his quarters. Empty. Solemn. Years later.

The lake was gone.

You weren't there.

He stayed still, staring blankly. His body still buzzing from the memory of his back against the moss, his hand wrapped in yours. Slowly, he raised his fingers to his mouth, just to see if there was warmth there that had lingered from all those years ago. Just to see if he could remember.

But it was gone. 

You were gone. 

Ben is dead.

That’s the only thing he had to try and remember. 

[Part Three] Note: Yeah, so what I love a slow burn? So what I love angst? Thanks for those who read my first part of this, I'm enjoying myself so much. Writing is so personal and relaxing, I'm glad I'm making time for it again. Thanks for reading!

[the-tales-of-ren]

Hi! How are you?

Can I request a Kylo Ren x Reader, where the reader has telekinesis (very powerful) and Rey’s big sister. R protects him from all the people who are after him but over use them and pass out but release a energy blast but he catches the reader in his arms and places them his bed and waits till they wake up (you can add the rest)

thank you 😊

P.S thank u for the following me back (:

Of course! I’ll have this out soon! (:

[nostarfights]

With You In My Head

Pairing: Kylo Ren X fem!Reader

Summary: You and Kylo finally re-unite when he comes back from a mission after what feels like years apart.

Warnings: Mentions of Kylo getting hurt, having cuts and bruises + kissing, cuddling

Word Count: 1.4k

a/n: i hope y'all like this!

the gif below does not belong to me

At this point, Kylo had been away on a mission for a little over a month and tonight he was finally returning to the ship. To say you were excited to see him again would be understatement. You were simply bursting at the seams with happiness and the thrill of the fact that you would get to see your lover again tonight.

After all, the two of you had never spent this much time apart since you had started dating nearly seven months ago and you were yearning to be able to touch and kiss him again.

The mere idea of being able to sleep next to him and cuddle with him again tonight was just so exciting. You had been looking forward to this ever since the day he left for this particular mission.

Kylo had told you the day before that he would be arriving in one of the ship's hangars at 6pm the following night. And while you sat on the bed in you and Kylo’s shared quarters waiting for a droid to alert you that his ship was going to land soon, the current time was 530pm.

You had tried sleeping in that morning as a way of passing the time but it was no use and your body naturally awoke at 8am. Due to your excitement and impatience, today had felt incredibly long and boring. Your day was filled with rewatching his most recent message to you a few times while you worked, which made you quite a bit worried because you could see a few cuts and bruises on his handsome face.

So, you tried to just focus on and think about work for the rest of the work day. Which didn’t work either, you were just excited about seeing him again and time seemed to go by so slowly today.

But as you waited in your shared quarters for that particular alert, you easily let thoughts of Kylo fill your mind whilst you laid down on your bed and spaced out a bit.

You thought of how the two of you would always dance together in the living room of your quarters after an exhausting day of work, music playing quietly while Kylo would sway you two together as if you were one. You thought about how you always patch each other up whenever you got hurt as well as the gentleness and love in these moments while you softly touched each other.

You thought about his scent and touch and how they both relaxed you so easily. It didn’t matter how stressful your day could have been, the second Kylo got back to your quarters, wrapped his arms around you and his scent filled your nose, your stress instantly went away. You thought about how while everyone on the ship feared him, he had a soft spot for you, he always had. With Kylo as your partner, you never wanted for anything because he gave you everything you could have ever wanted in a friend and in a lover. You thought about how whenever Kylo was feeling angry, your own touch and scent could easily calm him down and make him feel okay again.

You had always been someone Kylo could completely trust and that would never change.

Luckily for you, after you had been laying there for a little while thinking about Kylo, a droid entered your bedroom to tell you that Kylo’s ship was going to land in 6 minutes. Which made you perk up instantly while your heartbeat sped up, your excitement being reignited. You then got up right away and began to run over to the hangar Kylo would be landing his ship in.

A bright smile rolled out across your lips the second Kylo turned off his ship after he landed and then started to exit it. He was so excited to see you as well, he was so lonely without your warm presence there to keep him company. Once both of his feet were safely back on the ground, you started to run up to Kylo and into his open, welcoming arms. And when he caught you just seconds later, he picked you up and twirled you around, bright smiles on both of your faces.

It felt so good to be able to hug and just feel each other again after not being able to for so many days. After Kylo had set you back down, you began to hold his face in your hands and press a passionate kiss to his lips, a single moment barely passing you by. He kissed you back immediately, his hands holding your own face.

This kiss truly showed the other how much yearning you've been doing for one another while Kylo was gone.

After you both had pulled away, your hands remained on Kylo’s face while you simply stared into his eyes with a loving gaze and you gently stroked his cheeks with both of your thumbs. You were still feeling a bit concerned about him after seeing the cuts and bruises on his face that he had acquired during this mission up close. But you assured yourself that he would be okay and all that mattered now was that he was safe and back in your arms.

Kylo met your eyes with a loving look in his eyes of his own, his eyebrows now furrowing, “I missed you so much, angel.” he told you, his brown eyes tearing up while he quickly pulled you into another hug the second he finished speaking. “I missed you too, Ky. I’m so glad that you’re back in one piece.” you replied while you hugged him back. And as he tightly hugged you, happy tears began to slowly fall down your cheeks and you squeezed him even tighter in return.

The sound of a sniffle coming from you caused Kylo to pull away instantly, his large hands now on your shoulders as he looked into your eyes with pure concern. He frowned at the sight of your tears, “What’s wrong, my love?” he quietly asked while he gently wiped your tears away.

You shook your head, confirming that you weren’t upset, “Nothing, pretty boy. I’m just really happy to see you, I had been so worried after seeing the cuts and bruises on your face in your last message. I’m glad that you're okay, my love.” you answered, the sound of you calling him those sweet pet names making him blush.

He nodded in understanding and began to hold your face again, “I’m okay, princess. I promise that you never have to worry about me, though I know you will anyway.” he assured you as he stroked your cheeks, the last sentence of his assurance making you laugh a little.

This easily made Kylo happy to know that he was able to comfort you and make your tears go away. “I love you so much, baby. Let’s go back to our quarters, I wanna hold my girl.” he said a moment later, earning another smile and nod of your head from you.

He then quickly went back to his ship, grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, taking your hand in his once he got back to where you were standing. Letting you lead the way back to your quarters with another smile of his own on his pretty face, his cheeks still blushing a little.

As soon as you two reached your quarters, within a blink of an eye Kylo set his things down and scooped you up into his arms, making you laugh while he quickly walked over to your bedroom. Upon setting you down on your side of the bed, Kylo quickly took off the robes covering the upper half of his body and raced over to his side.

Once you were both settled in bed, Kylo opened his arms for you once more and you crawled into them. They felt so warm and comforting while you got comfortable on his broad chest, both your head and one of your hands resting there.

A content expression took over your faces as you laid there together, “I love you so much, angel, more than you’ll ever know.” Kylo whispered, leaning his head against yours while a smile broke out across his face. “I love you too, Ky, so so much.” you replied, now able to feel relaxed for once now that Kylo had safely come back to you.

NAVIGATION

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