#leave it to me to take spongebob too seriously okay I’m done. FOR NOW..

[umbrellascribbles]

Hey, OP, I love you and I need to join you in the trash can--what's Patrick's cutie mark (if he has one)? Why is Squidward's a microphone instead of a clarinet (or is he practicing against his mark?) And where did Sandy move from?

OMG thank u for asking!!<33

I’m actually drawin’ some more stuff for them so it is kinda turning into a whole au (WHOOPS...) & I’m working on little details like this as I go,...but 4 now..

I think Patrick’s cutiemark is some of the cute bikini bottom flower clouds!! Cuz he’s a laze-around watch-the-sky-go-by kinda dude🌸

Squidward’s cutiemark is a clarinet it’s just not super clear, I was trying to draw how I remembered his clarinet looking in the cartoon but I didn’t look up a reference rip (but the idea of him going against his cutiemark also seems very in character👀)

Sandy moved from Appleloosa I think, but I still don’t know where in equestria she and the rest currently live honestly!! Probably a cute little pony town by the beach still called Bikini Bottom :] not on any maps, but there’s a great burger joint if you can find the place.

[hangovercurse]

The Things We Can’t Tell Pete About v

Pete and you make amends, but after a series of break ins you end up staying at his apartment when an unexpected visitor shows up.

Colson Baker x Reader

Warnings: Drug use, cursing, heated make-out session

Word Count: 3161

| i | ii | iii | iv |

You spent the next week moping around your apartment, your phone turned off. All inspiration you’d had for writing seemed to have drained out of you, causing you to cancel writing sessions.

After not answering your phone for a few days, Pete came by your apartment, finding you deep in your depression. “I’m sorry for blowing up at you.” He said, taking a seat on the couch next to you. You shrugged, eyes not leaving the TV screen in front of you.

Your brother scoffed, grabbing the remote and turning it off, leaving you with no other option but to pay attention to him. “It’s fine Pete.” You muttered, reaching over to try and grab the plastic from him.

He frowned at you, “obviously it’s not. I shouldn’t have called you selfish and I shouldn’t have made it sound like I wanted you to get your heartbroken.” He explained calmly. He’d been through enough of these episodes himself, so he knew how to navigate the sadness that ran in your blood.

You sighed but didn’t say anything. You felt guilty that he was blaming himself for your mood. In reality, your fight with him was the last thing on your mind.

Pete continued explaining himself, “I’m just trying to protect you, you know?”

You nodded, trying to find the words to respond. “I know.” You whisper, “You’re right, though. Getting involved with your friends would be a bad idea.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “did something happen that I need to know about?”

You took a deep breath, preparing the lie in your head, “no, I just have been thinking about it. You’re right, it would just end up messy and someone would get hurt.”

You could tell he was trying to hide an “I-told-you-so” smirk. “So, there’s nothing going on between you and Colson?” he asked.

You tried to cover the fact that your breath caught in your throat. You guys were pretty obviously flirting the first night, but you didn’t expect Pete to jump to that assumption. “Colson?” You prayed your lie was convincing. “Why’d you assume I was thinking about going out with him?”

Pete raised an eyebrow at you and you let out a fake laugh, “bro, no. I was talking about Douglas.” You lied through your teeth. If music didn’t work out, maybe you could be an actress.

Your brother actually laughed at you for that, “wait, seriously? Doug?” His eyes closed and he leaned back into the couch.

“Yeah, I mean Colson’s hot and everything but that British accent really does things, you know?” You giggled, trying to ignore the sinking feeling from Colson’s name rolling off your tongue.

Pete rolled his eyes, “whatever, weirdo. Trust me, you dodged a bullet. I love Doug, but he could not handle you.” He got up from the couch. “I’m out, just wanted to come check on you. Maybe answer your phone some time?”

You smiled; happy you were on better terms with one of the men in your life. “I’ll try my best.” You called to him as he moved to the door. “Oh and, uh, Pete?”

He turned towards you, the sight reminding you all too much of Saturday night. ���I’m sorry for being a bitch and calling you unstable and shit. I mean, you’re an asshole, but that was uncalled for.”

Pete shrugged, “I mean, I am unstable, but thanks.” He waved, leaving your house.

 A few weeks past and things were getting back to normal. You were back writing and editing tracks, Pete and you were talking again, and you felt like yourself. Part of you was glad that things ended earlier rather than later with Colson, so you hadn’t had time to get too attached. Still, the thought of what could have been made you upset from time to time.

You were on your way to the studio one morning when you got a text from your floor group chat.

Wanted to let you guys know, there’s been a series of break-ins in the area. Keep your doors locked. So far no one has been in the apartments, so if you can try to stay somewhere else until they catch him. Be careful floor 5 fam!

Your floor was almost exclusively younger millennials, so you all got along decently. Andy, the one who had sent the text, was actually a pretty good friend of yours, despite you rarely leaving your apartment.

You had an irrational fear of people breaking into your house. You couldn’t explain it, but the thought of being attacked in your own home was one of the worst things that could ever happen to you. Because of this, you decided to text Pete.

Hey, can I stay at your place for a little while. There have been break ins near my apt and I really don’t wanna be there if it happens to me.

You knew Pete was probably rolling his eyes, but you didn’t care. There was no way you were gonna stay in your apartment until you felt safe.

Sure

You have to buy groceries though

Deal

And thus began your week-long sleepover at Pete’s house.

 On day four, Pete walked into the guest room where you had set up camp, finding you scrolling through your phone on the bed. “Hey, Colson’s gonna come over tonight and we’re gonna get high on mushrooms and watch SpongeBob. Wanna join?”

The thought of seeing the blond again made your heart race, but you hid behind a fake smile, “no thanks, I’ll probably stay in here all night and get some work done. Have fun though, don’t bother me.”

“Yeah, you look like you got a lot of work to do.” He said sarcastically but left you to your own devices. “I’m ordering Pizza, I’ll get you one.”

You thanked him, trusting he knew your pizza order by heart by now. Once he left you let out a worried sigh, trying to figure out how you were going to hide the awkwardness between you and Colson from your brother. Hopefully, he would be too high to figure out anything was up.

You were also upset that you had to turn down a night of shrooms and SpongeBob, something you would’ve loved. But you figured you could skip out on one night of fun if it meant avoiding the guy that you probably could’ve fallen in love with if he hadn’t given up on your relationship before it even started.

Okay, so maybe you weren’t as over everything as you told yourself you were, but he had put you in a shitty situation. Of course, you weren’t going to be happy about it.

Three hours later you were sitting cross-legged on your bed, laptop in lap, and headphones in. You’d been listening to one of Lea’s tracks for the past hour, scribbling some general edit notes in your notebook and cleaning up some of the notes with your virtual tuner.

You vaguely heard a knock on the front door but ignored it, focused on adjusting her vocals for the bridge. Truthfully, it wasn’t the best song you’d written with her, but she liked it and she was your boss at the moment, so you did what she asked.

But when there was a knock at your door, you paused, removing one earbud, and calling, “yeah?”

You weren’t expecting to be met with those all-too-familiar blue eyes. “Hey.” Colson said, his confidence fading as you made eye contact.

“Hey.” You replied softly, feeling like his hand was wrapped around your heart and squeezing it.

He cleared his throat, stepping further into your room with a pizza box in hand. “Here’s your pizza.” He handed you the box awkwardly. You had expected him to leave the room after you thanked him, but he lingered for a moment. “You’re not skipping out on tonight because of me, right?”

You raised your eyebrow at him, confusion on your face. “No, I have a lot of work to do tonight so…” You trailed off, lowering your gaze down to the box in your hand.

He nodded, “okay, I just- you told me how much you liked doing shit like this with Pete and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t…” He paused, letting out a breath, “if you want to join, you should. Like I don’t want you to feel like you can’t have fun just because I’m here.”

You let out a dry chuckle, “don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not not hanging out with you guys tonight because of you. I’m just doing work.”

The man nodded again, scratching the back of his neck. “O-okay. I’ll just, uh.” He turned towards the door, moving to leave before turning back to you. “If you get done and feel like it, you should come watch SpongeBob with us.”

You nodded, sucking your lips into a straight line, feeling the awkward tension in the air that you desperately wanted to avoid. “I’ll think about it.” You said and with that, the blond left your room, pulling the door behind him.

You hated to admit it, but even when he was being nervous and awkward, he still managed to be fucking attractive as hell. You let out an annoyed huff, falling back against your pillows and covering your face with your hands.

You then spent the next 45 minutes trying to finish your edits, but your mind kept wandering to the boy with the sky in his eyes and an art museum on his body. Realizing you wouldn’t be getting any work done for the rest of the night, you thought about his offer.

Shrooms did sound good right now, and as much as you hated it, so did spending time with Colson, even if it was just friendly. And now that you had gotten Pete off your back about the events that had gone down weeks ago, he wouldn’t be suspecting anything anyways, especially not if he was tripping out.

Fuck it, you figured, climbing out of your bed and grabbing the box of pizza. You shuffled out of your room and into the living room where the bright colors of the TV lit up the dark house.

“Y/N! You decided to join us!” Pete cheered as you took a seat on the edge of the couch, curling your legs under you.

You giggled at your brothers very faded state. “I got bored of working so, shrooms.” You shrugged, reaching over and grabbing the bag off the coffee table. You could feel Colson’s eyes following you but you tried to play it off.

The mushroom was chewy in your mouth and tasted like dirt, so you ate it as fast as you could, focusing your attention on the tv. You leaned back into the arm of the couch, your legs falling to your side. From the corner of your eye, you could see Colson take a long swig of the bottle in his hands. It was too dark for you to read the label, but you could tell it was some form of alcohol.

Biting your lip, you considered the idea of toying with him, remembering how awkward he was earlier. Deciding he probably would be too high to care; you leaned over and grabbed the bottle from his hand. You brought the drink up to your lips, eyes locked on his and a smirk on your face. He watched as you swallowed the burning liquid, and it was then that you processed just how glazed his eyes were.

Handing him the bottle back, you giggled. Something about Colson being completely faded yet still watching your every move made you feel giddy inside. He smiled at your actions, accepting the bottle, and taking another sip of it. This time you watched him, his Adam’s apple moving with the liquid.

So, you were definitely not over him. Not even in the slightest.

You took in a breath, turning to the screen and waiting for the drugs to kick in. They were playing the episode where SpongeBob had to get a new spatula after his broke, a classic. Every so often you reached over and drank from the bottle of what you figured out was some form of whiskey, probably Jameson knowing your brother. Colson didn’t seem to mind, moving closer to you as subtly as possible so you didn’t have to reach as far. If Pete picked up on anything he didn’t say.

Around the 20-minute mark, the shrooms definitely hit. The lights from the TV got brighter, the pictures seeming to blend together in a different way. You loved this feeling, everything seemed so much funnier and every bone in your body felt 20 pounds lighter.

Your movements felt slower, your limbs turning to jelly. Colson happened to glance over to you, seeing the smile on your lips and knowing, even in his faded state, that you were high. The image reminded him of that first night, you on the same couch passing the blunt to him. Your eyes were glossy and your smile was beautiful then and now.

As the episode ended and rolled into the next, you shifted slightly, your legs starting to fall asleep. You moved to dangle them off the couch when you felt a soft hand on your ankle. You looked over to see Colson staring at the screen, but his fingers wrapped around your right foot, pulling it onto his lap. He then reached for the other one and pulled you so both of your feet were propped in his lap, your back against the arm of the couch.

You sent him a smirk, but if he saw it, he ignored it, continuing to watch the cartoon. His hand ran up and down your leg, sending shivers through your body. You tried to pay attention to what was going on on the screen, but you felt like your entire body was on fire.

You let out a little giggle at the sensations, causing him to glance at you, bringing a finger up to his lips in a shushing motion. You pouted jokingly towards him before turning back to the TV. He continued to look at you, the drugs making every feature of yours pop.

After another episode ended you heard quiet snores coming from the other side of Colson. You looked over to find Pete passed out, head hanging off the side of the couch. You laughed quietly, grabbing Colson’s attention. You motioned towards the sight, making Colson laugh silently as well. His whole face lit up as he took in his friend’s sleeping state.

You moved your feet off his lap, scooting closer to him. Your cross-faded state made you much more confident than you normally would be, and much more reckless. “Looks like it’s just you and me now.” You whispered, looking up at the man.

He smirked down at you, blinking slowly. His eyelashes were so long and pretty, you wanted to steal them. “I guess it is.” He said, voice matching yours.

God his voice was sexy.

In a moment of brilliance, or as anyone else would call it, stupidity, you climbed onto his lap, straddling his waist. He raised an eyebrow but made no effort to move you. Your hands rested on his shoulders, a drunken grin on your lips. “I was really sad when you left.” You murmured, searching his eyes.

He took his lower lip between his teeth, taking a deep breath. “I hated leaving.” He responded, leaning his head closer to you. “Took every ounce of strength I had not to go back.”

You frowned, leaning so that your noses were touching. “I wish you had.” You whispered before closing the gap between your mouths. His lips collided with yours so familiarly, so naturally. Your hands moved to the back of his neck, fingers toying with the hair there. His found your waist, pulling your body further into his.

Every inch of your body was tingling in the best way. You felt like you were flying, adrenaline coursing in your veins. When you pulled away for air you smiled up at him. “You’re really cute.” You giggled.

He grinned, “you’re cuter.” He pecked your lips as you shook your head in disagreement, “yup.”

You both knew better. You had ended things for a reason, a reason that was passed out next to you. But in his arms, you just didn’t care. You kissed him again, deeper this time. You felt like you needed to make up for the lost time.

And Colson kissed you back, missing your intoxicating lips. Your hips started moving against his, the friction in his pants making him moan quietly against your lips.

It felt good, but he knew something wasn’t right. So, he pulled away. “Y/N.” He mumbled, earning a small whine from you. “Shhh.” He shushed you, “we can’t do this, remember?”

You pouted, moving back from him. His thumb rubbed circles into your hip, a frown on his face. “We said we weren’t gonna do this because of Pete.” He whispered.

You sighed angrily, “why does Pete get to tell us what to do?” You asked.

Colson smiled softly, “he doesn’t. But we decided that it was best if we stopped seeing each other.”

“We did!” You whisper-shouted. “Obviously, that doesn’t work.” Colson chuckled at your small outburst, knowing you were right. “Doesn’t this feel right to you?” You asked, pressing your forehead to his.

He wanted to kiss you so bad, but instead he just said, “we can’t do this.”

You pushed yourself off of his lap, a frustrated expression covering your face as you stood up. “You’re both assholes.” You said, making Colson’s eyes go wide at your volume.

He stood up, hand going to cover your mouth so you wouldn’t wake up Pete. “Y/N please.” You glared at him but made no attempt to continue. “You’re right, even if we avoid each other it doesn’t work, so let’s scratch that idea.” He paused and you nodded, agreeing with him. You didn’t care what happened, you just wanted him back in your life. “Let’s be friends. Just friends. We can hang out together and have fun, but we don’t get involved with each other. That way, we won’t be tempted to do this every time we see each other.”

You hated the idea, but you knew it was better than the alternative. So, you let out a small “okay” against his palm. He smiled, removing his hand from your mouth. “I’m gonna go to bed, friend.” You said, backing away from him.

He nodded, a small smile on his face. “Wait.” He whispered, pulling you in for a short, sweet kiss. “Okay, now we’re just friends.”

You let out a small giggle and rolled your eyes, pushing him back onto the couch. “Goodnight.” You whispered, walking towards your room, and trying not to stumble. Your lips held a stupid smile that refused to go away.

[blissedoutphil]

Tops Only Part 2

Dan’s favourite actor just opened a new bar right by the street near his apartment, and he couldn’t wait to check it out. One problem though, it was for Tops only, and Dan wasn’t one.

1389 words of Top!Phil, bottom!dan, AU where everyone’s born with a Type (top/bottom/switch)

There's a tiny part in here that was inspired by the Weenie Hut Jr episode of Spongebob. gotta love that classic

~Part 1~

or read on ao3!

“Thought you were gonna unstan him now.”

Dan rolled his eyes at Anthony’s remark, then went back to scrolling his tumblr. His post about how unfair Phil was with the bar had gained traction, and it was largely supported by his fellow Type. Though there were some Tops who grumbled about how people were taking things too seriously or tried to explain that it wasn’t unfair. Dan blocked those accounts. What do they know about unfair treatment?

Dan had asked Anthony to help with his plan B tonight: Perhaps they could let him in if he came with a Top. It would definitely irritate him if they allowed this, but at least he would be let in. Anthony easily agreed to try it out, so here they were waiting in line. He was a friend Dan didn’t deserve, always willing to indulge in Dan’s fanboying.

Dan had waited a couple of weeks, walking past the bar everyday but from across the road instead. He'd observed the different bouncers, trying to work out their schedules as he didn’t want to cross paths with the same one from his original attempt.

They stepped up to the new bouncer, who easily let Anthony through after they flashed their ID. But he held out a hand in front of Dan when Dan tried to quickly follow Anthony.

“Oh, I’m with him,” Dan reasoned.

“Still no can do buddy,” the bouncer stepped between him and Anthony.

“It’s okay I can take care of him,” Anthony spoke to the bouncer casually.

Inside, Dan hated the statement. He can take care of himself, thank you very much. But that’s just how the world worked and treated Types - Tops protect and care for their Bottoms. He understood where Anthony was playing at, so he played along and nodded with wide pleading eyes.

“Sorry,” the bouncer shook his head.

Dan frowned, but at least this bouncer was polite. Unfortunately though, he’d judged the guy too soon.

“I think you’d be better off in a Bottoms Only Bar,” the bouncer then suggested lightheartedly.

"Bottoms only?!" Dan repeated in surprise and seethed, “are you fucking kidding me?”

The bouncer shrugged unapologetically, swiftly moving on to the next person. Anthony shot Dan an apologetic look before he entered. Dan had prepared for this outcome, instructing Anthony to enter without him if he couldn’t so that he can bring back updates on what goes on inside that makes it so unacceptable for Dan to be let in.

Dan made his way back home begrudgingly, imagining himself opening a Bottoms Only Bar. See how Phil would like being excluded like this.

He sighed as he reached his door, shaking his head at his own thoughts. Why would Phil care about Dan’s made up Bottoms Only bar, he doesn’t even know who Dan is.

Dan entered his apartment and sprawled on his sofa, opting to scroll the internet while he waited for Anthony. The security at Phil’s bar was good, he read quite a number of fans’ posts on how they tried to sneak in not just through the bouncers but through any possible back doors. So far, nobody has had any luck still.

Anthony finally returned past 1am, startling Dan out of his accidental nap when he knocked on Dan’s door. Dan narrowed his eyes at Anthony when he opened the door.

“You didn’t need to be there that long,” Dan grumbled.

“Dude, it was...” Anthony was clearly very pumped up and tipsy after a good night out but he quietened, not wanting to make Dan feel bad about being unable to enter.

“Just tell me,” Dan groaned, slumping back on his sofa.

So Anthony related the events of his night. How there were Bottom waiters enticing the guests while serving their dessert and drinks. Giving them a show and dancing with the Tops, even getting sexual with those who gave extra tips.

“Did you like… get it on with a waiter or what?” Dan said judgmentally.

Anthony shrugged playfully, “The opportunity presented itself…”

Dan fake retched at Anthony’s confession, and got a playful punch on his shoulder in return.

It was clear from what Anthony told him that the bar really was catered for Tops only. That still didn’t satisfy Dan, though.

“He could’ve made an all-inclusive bar,” he pouted.

Anthony sighed empathically but he countered softly, “Well, it’s Phil’s way of finally expressing his Type I guess.”

“By capitalising on it and alienating a big part of his fanbase?” Dan spat.

“You really should unstan him if it bothers you, this is getting unhealthy.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Dan stuck his tongue out at Anthony.

“I saw him there,” Anthony admitted in a small voice.

“What?” Dan perked up instantly, “What was he doing? Did you get any pictures?!”

“I didn’t, but I think he’s there most nights. He made a short appearance and thanked everyone for coming and supporting him. Played around with some of the Bottoms for a bit.”

Dan scoffed, but deep down he felt a bout of envy. He wondered how those Bottoms got the job.

“Trust me Dan, you wouldn’t enjoy it there anyway. You’re not missing out on anything,” Anthony tried to comfort him.

“I guess. Thanks for getting the inside scoop,” Dan joked half-heartedly, getting up from the couch.

“I’ve prepared the guest room,” he yawned as he headed towards his own room.

He’d heard enough. Maybe Anthony was right, there was no reason to let some celebrity affect him this much. He decided to sleep his negativity off, abruptly leaving Anthony in the lounge. His friend had stayed over enough times to know to make himself comfortable in Dan’s home anyway.

Of course, unstanning someone Dan had adored for years was easier said than done. A few days later, he was back on his bullshit. He’d tried searching for any information online on how to get a job in Phil’s bar, but there was nothing at all. He frowned, he of all people should’ve seen information about it. How the hell did he miss any job ads or casting calls or auditions or whatever?

Dan sighed as he walked past the bar from across the road after work again. He could’ve been working in there right now. Seeing Phil every night. Maybe dancing with him. Instead he was stuck in some boring office admin job.

The queue to enter never wavered despite it being almost a month since opening already. And despite knowing almost everything there was to know about the bar, Dan still longed to step inside and see it for himself.

He visited Anthony for lunch the next day. And to drop Plan C on his friend.

“Are you insane?!” Anthony said incredulously upon hearing Plan C.

“C’monnn, everyone says we look freakishly alike anyway!” Dan persuaded.

“And what happens if they find out you’re using my ID? Will you pay the fine for me? Bail me out of jail?” Anthony stared at him disbelievingly.

“Don’t be so dramatic!”

“Oh I’m the dramatic one here? It’s just a bar Dan, let it go.”

Dan fell silent. He knew Anthony was right, there was no point in arguing. He sagged against his chair in defeat.

Perhaps Anthony felt guilty for dismissing his idea like that because after their lunch, Anthony sat Dan down on his couch and turned on one of Dan’s favourite movies that Phil starred in. It was telling that Anthony was trying to cheer Dan up because he would never watch that movie on his own accord.

“How long are you gonna be all mopey like this?” Anthony sighed after the movie ended and Dan was still being quiet.

“How come... I didn’t at least know they were hiring waiters or something?" Dan spoke wistfully.

Anthony gave a long suffering sigh before saying, “Maybe that could be your Plan D if C doesn’t work out.”

Dan looked up at his friend in surprise, finding Anthony’s hand outstretched towards him with his ID in hand.

“Really?” Dan said in an unsure but hopeful tone.

“Take it before I change my mind,” Anthony huffed.

“Thank you!” Dan leapt up to land in Anthony’s lap and crush him in a tight hug, “I owe you one.”

“Just don’t do anything stupid to get yourself caught,” Anthony chuckled, returning the hug.

-------------------------------

~Part 1~

This chapter's kinda short but dw next one's gonna be longer! Sorry no sign of Phil (yet) but hope yall enjoyed some danthony this chapter :) I'm enjoying projecting fan behaviour onto Dan lol

There will be either 4 or 5 parts for this fic, idk we'll see! lmk what you think so far~

[nctxnation]

A Haunting in Neo City

➳ Pairing: Renjun x Reader 

➳ Genre: Romance | Buzzfeed Unsolved AU

➳ Word Count: 4.8k

➳ Warnings: Mild Language

➳ “Of all the problems and complications in my life, I had not expected love to be one of them.” ― Stacie Evans

You spun around in your chair, eyes tired of seeing the screen after finally finishing another article. The coffee mug next to you, empty, and your brain still sleep deprived and sluggish.

“You look like shit.”

You groaned, pressing send on the computer and turning to see your partner in crime, or more like partner in the occult and crime. 

“Hello, to you too, Renjun,” You flicked a paper clip at him and he rolled his eyes as it bounced off his chest. “I’m just tired. Yeri and the girls’ invited me out for dinner last night.”

“Fun,” He grinned, jumping onto your desk, knocking papers to the side. “All I did last night was see how many pens Jisung could stuff in his mouth, nine, by the way.”

“I’m guessing you have some news for me,” Your eyes zeroed in on the stack of papers in his hands. “Let me guess a cursed doll that terrorizes its owners?”

“Been there, done that, remember?” He smiled down at you, eyes brightening at the prospect of a new adventure. Your heart fluttered at the eagerness in his tone and the sparkle of his eyes, “We’re going out to Neo City to scope out the Evermore Woods, aka the Haunted Woods of Neo City. There’s supposedly haunted cabins and we might just end up possessed, you in?” 

Of course, you were in. You’d follow Renjun anywhere, he didn’t know that. You sure as hell didn’t want to submit to the sheer embarrassment and awkwardness that would ensue after disclosing your romantic feelings to your coworker and closest friend. 

“Do I have a choice?” You grinned snatching the prints of research out of his grip. “We’re not gonna end up possessed, it has never happened.”

“You never know,” He was positively buzzing with excitement and it made you beam at how adorable he looked. “I have a feeling this one is gonna be a good episode though.”

“You always have the craziest shit up your sleeve,” You noted, glancing through rumored sightings of ghosts and wild stories that spurred from college students partying in the woods. “This is no exception. Sounds like a fun roadtrip to me.”

“Wait ‘til you read about the Ghost of Jieun they saw there, it’s some crazy shit I kid you not!” 

Renjun went on the full blown spiel, trying to persuade you that the woods were indeed haunted and it wasn’t just a hoax. He did this all the time, seeing as he was the one who fully believed in the paranormal between the two of you. You were the one who decidedly followed him throughout his supernatural investigations sprinkling witty commentary as you weren’t as sold in any stuff like that. 

You were often the cause of Renjun’s constant hysteria as you seldom kept quiet and continuously egged and taunted any ‘spirit’ that might be lurking. It got to the point Renjun would keep a small bottle of holy water in his car and occasionally spray you with it just to make sure you weren’t actually possessed. 

A long ass story about some ghost later, Renjun was summoned by Jeno who needed help as Haechan had gotten his hand stuck up some tubing they were filming a video with. You took that as your cue to refill your empty coffee cup, to regain some life and have at least a semblance of a normal, functioning human being. 

You however didn’t expect yourself to be cornered by Yeri and Yuta, who were looking far too devilish. Their evil smirking were making you want to add them to the list of possible people to perform an exorcism on, part of Renjun’s never ending list.

“So, you and Renjun looked pretty cosy there,” Yeri commented, subtly glancing at Yuta whose face only darkend with mischief. 

“We’re partners on this ongoing project,” You deadpanned, pouring in some burning hot liquid into your mug. The steaming zest of life. “He literally has no choice now, the loser is stuck with me. We ordained it with a blood oath which is pretty on brand for us, I guess.”

Yuta cackled heartily, “No wonder you guys’ are in love. You have the same sense of humor.”

“Thanks,” The words processed in your brain slower than Internet Explorer. “Wait--what? In love? Renjun and me?”

“Am I speaking in Japanese?” Yuta winked at you, sipping his coffee so smugly you wanted to slap him. “So, when’s the wedding?”

“It’s not like that,” You began to feel uneasy, their staring was predator-like. “How many times do I have to spell it out to you guys? Renjun and me, we’re friends and co-workers, nothing more. So, we share a room every once in a while and have inside jokes, you and Winwin do too.”

“Mhmm sure,” Yeri shrugged it off, “One day we’ll get you to admit your love for each other.”

“Not gonna happen,” You gritted out, taking your mug and walking away as fast as you could so they couldn’t see the intense blush coloring your features. 

“You better send a wedding invitation!” Yuta hollered as you rounded the corner and saw Renjun and Haechan laughing about his incident.

Your heart warmed as Renjun’s eyes met yours and you could have sworn you saw a fondness in his eyes that was only reserved for you. A small sliver of hope slithered its way into your heart, but you crushed it easily on account of it being your sleep deprived brain creating scenarios in your head that weren’t real.

Unbeknownst to you, Renjun sighed in aggravation. His little frown catching Haechan’s attention.

“You might as well tell Y/N you like them,” Haechan said as he watched your retreating figure. 

“It’s not that easy,” Renjun admitted, “Y/N and me are a team, we have our own series and its doing really good. I don’t want to ruin any of that knowing they don’t feel the same.”

“You sure about that?” Haechan snorted.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Renjun snapped, ready to put Haechan in headlock at any given offense. 

“I mean the supernatural isn’t the only thing your blind to,” Haechan patted his friend’s shoulder and left, leaving Renjun more confused than before.

Renjun thought it was easier to be cornered by ghosts, demons, serial killers, and bizarre monsters than having to ever come close to admitting his feelings for you. Your friendship ran deep and he didn’t want to derail the dynamic he worked so hard to upkeep. Plus, he didn’t think you’d like him, you got along swimmingly due to the fact that you two instantly clicked. You were his best friend, in his eyes, telling you he wanted something more was severely scarier than facing ghouls. 

The matters of the heart were always something terrifying.

Renjun placed his folder of information neatly on the table, eyes bright as he faced the camera. You sat next to him trying your best not to stare too much at him. You failed of course and you hoped your audience thought none of it. The comment section had a few comments littered about they way you looked at each other. The last thing you needed was your full blown heart eyes for Renjung to be the one thing your viewers discussed. 

“This week we will be exploring the haunted cabins in the Neo City Evermore Woods.”

Gosh, even the way his voice went into professional mode was starting to sound immensely attractive to you. 

“Do you think we'll see bears?” You asked, smirking at the frustrated sigh he let out. The edges of his lips turned upwards and that in itself was enough to have you glowing.

“The woods are crawling with ghosts and demons and you're worried about bears?” He chuckled, it was so like you. It was one of the many things he liked about you, even when it clashed with who he was. 

“I just don't want to take my chances.”

“But you'll be okay with being possessed?” His eyes bulged out of his face and you giggled at how comical he looked. 

“I'm being realistic. I guess we can trace a circle around us.”

“Of salt?”

“No, dirt like with a stick. For the bear, Renjun. Not the ghosts.”

“Isn't that from Spongebob?” He regarded you with sparkly eyes full of amusement. 

He loved the way you made the tension in his body release, the way your eyes crinkled when you laughed at your own stupid jokes. He was seriously gone and he hoped it didn’t get captured on camera. 

“Yeah that's where I get all my educational information from.”

He started wheezing and you joined in laughing at how silly you sounded. That was your role in this dynamic duo, he took everything regarding the supernatural seriously and you joked about it. You two were like yin and yang in a sense, you balanced each other out. 

“Well, I get all my educational information from reliable sources,” Renjun began addressing the timeline of the Disappearance of Jieun, to telling about her murder and the hauntings of the lake and cabins.

You added your own commentary, smiling when the camera turned off and Renjun excitedly high fived you. Yup, you were way too deep. 

“You were really funny out there,” He said, shuffling all his papers back into his folder, “Great stuff. I think I’m going to need an inhaler or something.”

“Nah, I think I sounded cringey,” You waved off his immediate protests, “I just wanted to take the time to say that you really put a lot of work into this series and it shows. You’re doing amazing, Renjun, and you deserve to know it.”

“Couldn’t do it without you?” He was too sweet, he was going to give you tooth decay.

“I don’t think--”

“No, of course you don’t see how great you are,” He interrupted you, placing a small warm hand on your shoulder. “But I see how great you are and I think you should know you make this series worth doing.”

“Renjun…”You swiped an imaginary tear off your cheek, ignoring the actual tears building up. “You really are the sweetest person in the office, don’t tell Jungwoo I said that.” 

The weight of his compliment and your lack of though, had you wrapping his frame around your arms. He froze, but then melted into your hands. 

“I’m serious you make the other half of Spooky Duo,” Renjun’s warmth blossomed a new kind of warmth in your heart, “I love you, Y/N...I mean, you’re the best partner in crime money can buy.”

“You threatened me to join you,” You sniffled, ignoring the fluttering feelings the eight letters he murmured brought you. “I had no choice in the matter, but you’re a great partner in crime...I love you too, Renjun.”

The love you felt was different than the love he felt that much you knew. No lack of sleep or caffeine rush was going to lull you into a false reality that you made up in your head. He didn’t feel the same. 

There was beat, in which you both stood, arms tangled and breathing rough, staring into each other’s eyes. The moment was broken when Yuta and Yeri stumbled into your work room claiming a group meeting. You scrambled away from each other, your eyes having totally not been hyperfixed on his lips. Renjun cleared his throat and fist bumped you claiming you as the best friend he could ask for, before he went on his merry way.

You sighed, not trying hard enough to hide you own dejection, but you followed behind him. This, unfortunately, only roused Yuta and Yeri even more as they began gossiping about the office, murmuring about how any day now the Spooky Duo were finally going to get together.

It was dusk, night barely stretching across the horizon when you reached the edge of the Evermore Woods. The forest was cold, dark, and dense. It was the picturesque vision of any horror movie setting, horrific and nightmarish. It would certainly allow for your mind to conjure up the scariest of things to crawl from out of the forest, had you been creative enough for it. From the look in Renjun’s wide eyes, you can tell he felt the eeriness set in too. 

The uneasiness reflected in Jeno and Jaemin’s eyes, your camera crew for tonight. Haechan and Yuta were already setting up things in the cabins. Renjun gulped and led the way down the path,  Jeno and Jaemin stayed a couple of steps behind you two, jostling through the greenery with their equipment. 

“Are you afraid of anything?” Renjun trekked through the foliage skillfully, the bright flashlight guiding him, although there was a subtle shake to his grip.

“Yeah, dying alone. Thank God I have you.” It was meant as a joke, but the weight of your words rang heavy and poignant in contrast to the eerie silence of the night.

Renjun deliberated for a moment, before following it up with a quip of his own, “I'll feed you to the demons before you even get to me.”

“That’s to say there’s even demons.” 

“Our viewers think you’re a demon.” His eyes were playful, reeling you in and effectively turning you into mush.

“I can’t confirm nor deny that.” You squashed the butterflies easily, falling into step behind him. 

“Do you think we’ll catch some real footage of something?”

“What if we see Bigfoot?”

“Wrong episode,” Renjun smiled, “Do these woods spook you out? What's that noise?”

“Do you know what a cricket is? Speaking of Bigfoot,” You poked his side and he flew up, sending you a glare, “Remember last time? Dude, you were practically crying.”

“I thought we were gonna die,” He defended, “How was I supposed to know Johnny was in a Bigfoot costume ready to scare the shit out of us.”

“That was the whole point,” You said as you finally reached the small lake where the Ghost of Jieun was rumored to be seen. “Are you down for a late night swim?” 

Renjun focused his thermal camera on his surroundings, frowning as he caught sight of nothing out of the ordinary. “Should we try the spirit box? Maybe we can speak to her.”

“Chick was murdered by a man, she probably has some deep issues,” You said, plopping down on the wet grass that covered the lip of the lake. “She probably won’t want to speak to you. Or maybe she’s hiding in the cabins back there.”

Jeno and Jaemin propped up all the filming equipment and readied the camera to start filming. They signaled Renjun to get started and he immediately launched into ‘YouTuber Renjun’. 

“We’re here at the Evermore Woods of Neo City. As you can see, we have Green Water Lake right behind me and some of the cabins that remained from the old campground. People say the Ghost of Jieun likes to linger around this general area, near the dock.”

“Wasn’t she killed by her lover?” You bounced a small pebble into the water and watched it ripple.

“Yeah, he dated her. He actually said she was too beautiful to be murdered and she agreed and used that as her tactic to live for one more minute.”

“I--what?”

“Yeah she was basically like ‘Please don't kill me, I’m too sexy for this disrespect.”

“Do you think he was like hahaha don't die your so sexy...oops sorry my knife fell into you.”

“We really shouldn't be joking about this here,” Renjun bit his lip, glancing around nervously.

“That sounds like a freaking skit from American Horror Story 1984! How am I supposed to take it seriously?”

“Because we're probably standing within the general vicinity of the crime.”

“Oh, shit.” You turned towards the cabins. “Should we go inside?”

“You want to go first or should I?” He asked, brushing off bits of grass of his pants and helping you up off the ground. 

“The non-believer always goes first,” You smiled, pinching his cheek, “You, my dear, are last because you’ll most likely freak out and that will be great footage.”

“Please don’t summon anymore demons from the pits of hell.” Renjun begged, although you caught subtle lilt of amusement in his voice. 

“Can’t make any promises,” You took the spirit box and thermal camera from him. “It’s not like anything exciting ever happens anyway.”

“Be careful.” 

The words were simple but the way he said them, dripping with concern. You almost turned around to see his face, but you knew that if you didn’t stop walking towards the cabin, you’d kiss him then and there. Your feelings were growing and him being the sweet, caring person he was, wasn’t helping your case. 

“Honestly, Renjun, is probably pissing his pants right now.” You told the camera Jeno was pointed at you, he agreed silently with a grin. “He’s always terrified, but is like an eager puppy wanting to catch anything.”

“Y/N probably raised hell in there, but what's new.” Renjun called out, opening the door to one of the cabins. 

“I did no such thing...just told the ghost to screw itself for not singing Fergalicious to see if it's real or not.”

“Fergalicious wasn't even a thing back then.”

“Fergie withstands the fabric of time, it's all an illusion, Renjun.” You walked up to him and he made room for Jeno and you to enter. “Maybe something will come out if there’s more of us. It could want variety in its selection.”

The door closed behind you and all you could hear was the heavy breathing of everyone in the room. There was a freakish vibe to them, more so than when you were alone. Jeno swept the camera around the room, catching every cobweb and dust particle within view. Jaemin focused his camera on the Renjun and you waiting for some action.

“Okay, if there’s anyone--Jeiun or any other ghost can you say something to let us know you’re hear.” Renjun flipped the spirit box on and the room was flooded with static noise and the occasional gurgle of something possibly otherworldly.

“My name is Y/N and this my buddy Renjun,” You licked your lips, feeling the chill of the night creep up on you like a frosty hand. “For his sake, can you say something? Is it like in Ghost Whisper, that you have unfinished business and that’s why don’t cross over?”

“Ren…”

“Oh, fuck,” Renjun began to blubber.

“Y/N….” The voice was barely audible above the static, but still managed to erupt a trail of goosebumps down your arm. It clearly sounded like the voice of a girl. “Ren...jun…”

“Oh, hell no,” Renjun looked on the brink of a breakdown, he clambered towards the exit but Jeno blocked it. “Jeno, what the hell!”

“I...am...Jieun…”

A shrill noise pierced the ear and the static of the spirit box became muffled right after. Suddenly, Jeno began to move frenetically, casting the camera aside on a wooden table. His eyes were twitching and his arms waved in the air as if he were possessed.

“Jeno?” Jaemin’s voice was hoarse, he gently shook Jeno.

His eyes widened as Jeno glared down at him and then smacked him on the side, knocking him straight down. Jaemin whimpered from the brute force of his hit and recoiled as Jeno wailed violently and incoherently.

“J-Jeno?” Renjun grabbed your arm and shoved you behind his body, shielding you from any harm Jeno may cause. “Hey, man, if this is about you not getting to pick the location, we can work this out?”

Jaemin got up and quickly grabbed a hold of Jeno whose eyes were rolling back, his whole body contorting under the hold of Jaemin. Renjun pushed you back, slowly stumbling into the small closet in the corner of the room.

“I think he’s possessed!” Jaemin shouted, pinning Jeno down and waving you two off. “Take cover somewhere, I don’t think I can hold him down for much longer.”

Renjun hesitated, not believing his eyes. You pulled him back and ducked into the small closet, the only thing you could hear was the violent rustle of the wind outside and Jeno’s screeching. 

“I shit you not if this is one of your pranks Y/N--”

“It’s n-not,” You stuttered, your whole body quivering like a feather in the breeze. “I swear to God Renjun, I don’t know what’s going on.”

Jaemin’s screaming ceased, there was silence, then a loud, thumping. Jeno’s fists hit the door in frantic, solid beats shaking the door with each hit. 

“He loved me,” Jeno’s voice sounded distanted, higher pitched, “He said he loved me. He said I was beautiful, yet he killed me.”

“Jieun?” Renjun almost sounded sympathetic and you wanted to cry at how sweet he can be, but this wasn’t the time. “Is that you in Jeno? Look, I’m sorry for--”

“You’re not sorry!” Jeno’s thundering voice was full of anguish, “You mock me with your love!”

“What?” You cleared your throat, finding it hard to sound anything remotely human when all you wanted was to sob. 

“Your love for each other,” Jeno as Jieun said, “I thought I had that with him. I was wrong. All I want to see is the love I never got.”

“Is she on crack?” You blurted unthinkingly causing Renjun to silence you with a frantic glare. “I mean, oh yeah, we have a very deep friendly affection.”

“Love,” possessed Jeno corrected, “Tell each other you love each other. You never know what life might throw at you. Enjoy love while you can.”

“Is that a threat Ghost Lady?” You didn’t know what to think of possessed Jeno’s words.

“I’ll let you out only if you speak your heart’s desire.”

“Heart’s desire?” Renjun laughed perturbed by the ghost’s insinuation. “This is crazy.”

“Confess your heart’s desire or face the consequences!” Jeno began banging on the door again and it looked like if he slammed his fist one more time, it would crumble under his sheer strength.

“Renjun do something!”

“Okay, okay, stop Jieun,” Shaking like a leaf, he turned to you ignoring the persistent badgering and grumbling from possessed Jeno. “Y/N, if we don’t make it out of this alive I’m sorry I dragged you into this place.”

The lack of heartfelt confessions only angered Jeno even more. 

“Hey, Samara chill for a second, okay?” You looked at Renjun, taking his hand and squeezing it. “You don’t force me to go anywhere with you, truth is, I’d follow you to any stupid place you want to go. It doesn’t matter if I think it’s haunted or not, for work or not, I’d still follow you anywhere.”

“What?” His breath knotted in his threat and as your breath fanned across his cheeks, he could have sworn he’d be the next ghost to inhabit that cabin. You were too close and his poor heart can only take so much in one night.

“I don’t know if its the fact we’re about to die,” You wanted to be swallowed by some random hole in the ground or have creepy ghost Jeno drag you away. “Or the fact I can’t see you since it’s dark as shit in here. Or even the fact that I’m starting to think this is a nightmare and I’ll wake up in my desk with you hovering over me with fresh coffee and that cheesy smile of yours that I lo--”

“Y/N.” The way he spoke your name so softly and lovingly, made your temperature rise the cold of the dinky closet no longer affected you. 

“Oh, right, sorry,” You rushed through your words, wanting this all to be over, “Truth is I like you, Renjun. I’ve liked you for a long time and that’s why I didn’t need a lot of convincing to join your team.”

“Is that true?” Samara-Jeno asked. 

“Truer words have never been spoken.”

“I like you too, Y/N,” Renjun’s voice cracked and your heart swelled. “I’m not...I have no words to describe it. But I like you so much and I never had the courage to say it.”

You smiled, shrouded in the darkness he couldn’t see the pure happiness on your face. 

“I’ll leave this body now,” Samara-Jeno said, breaking the heart-eyes-through-the-dark spell you two were in. “You can rest easy, I’m gone…Hey, you guys what the hell happened?”

“Holy shit it worked!” The sheer exuberance of him confessing and you not being in danger had you squealing. “I didn’t think that would work!”

Renjun, however took this differently, “Yeah, you’re such a good actor. That confession...wow.”

“What?” You didn’t even have time to process the crushing sensation his words brought. “Oh, yeah, good one right?” You knew it was too good to be true.

“For God’s sake--”Jeno threw the door open and you clambered over to grip Renjun close to you.

Jaemin sighed exasperated as he readjusted the camera in his hands. You crawled out of the closet, disoriented and bewildered by everything going on. Haechan was handing Chenle money (“Told you they were dumb to see their love”) and bitterly glaring at you two. Yuta and Yeri looked like they wanted to bang their heads. 

“What the hell is this?” You shrieked as Renjun gaped at his coworkers. 

“This was a set up!” Jeno explained, outraged by the sheer dumbassery you two possessed. “You guys literally confessed to each other like we wanted! Then straight up made it sound like it was all acting...what the heck!”

“You guys are really something else,” Yuta shook his head. “Love is blind and makes you oblivious, but you two are just dumbassess.”

“Wait, so you like me?” Renjun’s eyes widened at your accusation.

“You like me too?” 

“Yeah, I actually wasn’t lying,” You felt sheepish at all the pairs of eyes glued on you. “I do like you, Renjun...enough to go ghost hunting even though I don’t believe in that.”

“I like you too,” He cupped your cheek in his hands, ignoring the camera Jaemin pointed right at you. “You’re my partner in crime and I kinda wanna have you around to hunt more ghosts.”

“That’s an offer I can’t resist,” You grinned, kissing him gently on the cheek. “However, you’re gonna have to buy me dinner after, all this ghost hunting makes me hungry.”

“Deal.” The same fondness in his eyes you thought you imagined before, returned and your eyes reflected that fondness. “Now, what the hell were you guys thinking this was a great location and we could have had awesome footage!”

You spent the rest of the night scouring the woods for ghosts, although you didn’t find any. Renjun and you, trailed behind everyone, hand and hand and beaming brighter than the moon above. 

“What do you think our viewers are gonna make our ship name be?”

“I hope it’s not something silly,” You gripped his fingers tightly, yanking him closer to you. “There’s something I’ve really been wanting to do, but doing it in front of everyone and in haunted cabin, just didn’t seem right.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” His fingers caressed your cheek, letting them trail down as he placed his hand on your arm. He marveled at the way you shivered under his touch. He was getting too cocky and needed to be stepped down a notch.

You pecked his lips quickly, the only witness to your kiss was the moon and stars. He soften under your touch, holding you tighter. You pulled away all too quick for his taste and laughed as you made your way towards the cars and the group.

“That’s what you get for being a tease!”

He smiled and followed you spraying holy water from his spray can at your retreating figure.

“You really are a demon!” He joked as he caught up to you and took your hand in his again.

“Another one to add to the list of completed missions,” You grinned shuffling into the van. “Up for another adventure?”

“With you, yes,” He would never stop making your heart flutter.

“I swear to God if you two are going to be this cheesy, I am going to regret setting this up in the first place.”

Yuta was only kidding, considering he was the biggest shipper. The next day at the office the video of you two confessing to each other was seen by everyone. For once, you were glad to have been terrorized by an alleged ghost. You watched as Renjun walked over to you, glowing, and a folder in his hand. Yeah, you’d definitely followed this dork through any “haunted” place or anywhere for that matter. 

Paranormal Neotivity masterlist 

[im-hqlover]

Ideas I have to write/draw someday if possible

Just a list of things I did by putting together several prompts lists, All prompts lists are prompts that I reblogued, so credits to their authors (my internet is too slow to get all the links at the moment, I put the links later) all of this is what i plan to one day write/draw or maybe to ask as requests ( @aliasimagines, I'm looking at you 👀)

- Write all the arcs of the Arkham Knight fanfic

- Write fanfic reader as part of the Titans. (I don't know if I do her with powers or not.)

- Write fanfic where the reader is a super heroine, and after the death of her tutor / teacher (?) Batman is her new tutor

- Maybe, just maybe, make a fanfic in the universe of young justice (Maybe the reader together with Wally?)

- Writing Scenes/imagines/headcanons: (not all necessarily with Jason)

    - "Can you love me even if I’m the Red Hood?" “Do you hate me?” "I could never hate you, Jason"

     - First date

    - Babysitting together 

    - Waking up together 

     - Bruises / scars

    - Jealous 

    - Wedding 

    - Married life

    - Pregnant

    - As father

    - Prom at Wayne Mansion

    - “I love you, please don’t go.”

    - “Stay here tonight.”

    - "You make everyday worth living."

    - “I’ll keep you warm.” 

    - “I’m never letting you go.”

    - “You meant too much to me.”

    - “Don’t you trust me?”

    - “I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

    - “I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

    - “It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

    - “What the hell were you thinking?!”

    - “Here, let me help you.”

    - “I care about you.”

    - “You haven’t lost me.”

    - "Don’t cry.”

    - “You make me feel safe.”

    - “You’re always on my mind.”

    - “You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

    - “Dance with me.”

    - “Why are you crying?”

    - “Nothing is wrong with you.”

    - “You make me feel alive.”

    - “Who cares about what they think?”

    - “I’m not going anywhere.”

    - “Tell me what’s wrong.”

    - “I am home.” “What happened back there?”

    - “That’s not gonna happen.” 

    - “Why me?”

    - “You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

    - “What are you doing?”

    - “You’re not alone.”

    - “We’re meant for each other.”

    - “It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”

    - “Just breathe, okay?”

    - “When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

    - “Going somewhere?” "Momma here knows everything kiddo" “Don’t lie to me.” "What do you think your dad will do when he know this?"

    - “You’re so adorable.”

    - “I’m better, now that you’re here.”

    - “I could never forget you.”

    - “You’re more than that.”

    - “I won’t lose you too.”

    - “Come cuddle.”

    - “Can’t you stay a little longer?”

    - “I can’t do anything right.”

    - “Why are you awake right now?”

    - “Why are you lying to me?”

    - “Is that blood?” “…..No?”

    - “Nobody’s seen you in days.”

    - “Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.”

    - “Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”

    - “Leave! Me! Alone!” (cheating…. maybe?)

    - “Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?"

    - “Have you seen my hoodie?” “Nooo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?”

    - “You are always so beautiful”

    - “OH you’re jealous!”

    - “Can we stay like this forever?”

    - “He’s so pretty I think I’m gonna faint.”

    - “Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

    - “I missed you so much.”

    - “Can we please stop running? I think I’m dying.”

    - “Give me attention.”

    - “Okay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming.”

    - Kissing in the rain and getting soaked before running inside laughing 

    - Playing with their hair while their head’s in your lap.

    - Jolting awake after a nightmare and being comforted 

    - “Good morning, beautiful/handsome” 

    - Secret relationship

    - Fake dating AU

    - “Just tell why you did it!” “Because I’m in love with you, okay!”

    - Wrapping arms around them when they make breakfast

    - Cuddling in comfortable silence before murmuring “I love you”

    - Painting the house that ends in a paint fight and giggles 

    - Everyone thinks I should stay away from you because you’re dangerous

    - Overhearing they have feelings for you 

    - Taking care of the other when sick or injured 

    - “don’t be shy”

    - “I need you.”

    - “You’re my family.”

    - “I care about you.”

    - "Can I join you"

    - “This isn’t fair!”

    - “Come with me.”

    - “That’s sweet.”

    - “You look great.”

    - “Let me help you.”

    - “Are you okay?”

    - “Do you like it?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    - “They didn’t deserve you.”

    - “I trust you, do you trust me?”

    - “I’m here if you need to talk.”

    - “How do I look?” just the way you are, the way you aaaaaaare (sorry, I remember this song, I couldn't avoid) 

    - “What is this about?”

    - “You look like hell.”

    - “I’m not pissed, I’m hurt.”

    - “What you did was stupid.”

    - “No. You listen to me.”

    - “You’re a terrible liar.”

    - “It’s not safe here.”

    - “You should leave.”

    - “I’ll keep you safe.”

    - “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

    - “You don’t have to act like you’re okay.”

    - “I’m only here to help.”

    - “You think that this is easy for me?”

    - “I hate seeing you like this.”

    - “I don’t like you…. I love you.”

    - “I don’t want you… I need you.”

    - “What are you doing here?”

    - “It’s okay to cry.”

    - “You deserve better.”

    - “You’ve changed.”

    - “You always find a way to surprise me.”

    - “You have no idea.”

    - “You did what you had to do.”

    - “I wanted to apologize.”

    - “It’s just you and me.”

    - “I’m just looking out for you.”

    - “Why didn’t you tell me?”

    - “Oh come on.”

    - “No one is perfect.”

    - “You’ve been quiet.”

    - “I’ll always be there for you.”

    - “When you fall, I’ll always be right there to catch you.”

    - “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

    - “I’m not leaving.”

    - “Don’t worry about it.”

    - “I’ll be there in a few minutes.” 

    - “You believe me, don’t you?”

    - “Regardless of what they think, I know you’re an amazing person.”

    - “Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not.”

    - “Why are you so nice to me”

    - “We’ll get through this, I promise”

    - “You’re mine. I don’t share” 

    - “If we get caught I’m blaming you”

    - “Is that my shirt?”

    - “Please come home, I miss you” 

    - “You’re so fucking adorable”

    - “Cuddle me.” “You’re lucky you’re cute”

    - “Could you do me a favour and be my model?”

    - “You can’t stay in bed all day.”

    - “You called me, remember?”

    - “I don’t like the way they look at you.”

    - “It’s too early for this.”

    - “If you don’t rest, you won’t get better/heal.”

    - “Hey, are you still awake?”

    - “Thanks for cheering me up.”

    - “How could you do this to me?”

    - "It’s only 2 A.M..” “It’s 2am. Go back to sleep.”

    - “Get your hands off of me!” “Get away from me.”

    -  “Please don’t go.”

    - “They can’t hurt you anymore.”

    - “No one is perfect.”

    - “What happened last night?”

    - “Why am I not shocked?”

    - “I don’t wanna be alone right now.” “I promise I’ll always be there for you. No matter what. You’re not alone anymore.”

    - “I don’t know how to look you in the eye after the things I’ve/you've done.”

    - “I hate watching you do this to yourself.”

    - “I haven’t been okay for a long time.”

    - “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.”

    - “I just want to let you know that I love you. A lot. Never forget that.”

    - “You’re one of the most important things in my life.”

    - “If you’re so bored, I have other ideas on how to pass the time…” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    - “They’re wrong about you.”

    - “I can make you some tea or something? Read you a story. Lie down in bed.”

    - “I would give up everything for the chance to see your laugh again.”

    - “Cover me in badges of your love.”

    - “My hand was made to fit into yours. That’s all there is to it.”

    - “I’m really happy that you’re here with me.”

    - “I just feel safe with you. Like nothing bad can happen.”

    - “You’re adorable, and I can’t believe I have you all to myself.”

    - “I don’t like when you say things like that. To me, you’re perfect.”

    - “You make me want to become a better person.”

    - “I think it’s adorable how easily you blush.”

    - “I never want you to think you’re anything less than my top priority.”

    - “Please, just…be safe. Come back to me.”

    - “I love you, not them.”

    - “Am I not good enough?” / “I’m not good enough.”

    - “I know you didn’t mean it, but it still hurt.”

    - “I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.”

    - “i fucking love you” “hang up, and tell me this when you’re sober”

    - “of course i still love you. but i hate myself for it.”

    - “Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right from your lungs.”

    - “Did you just slap my ass?” / “Actually, I firmly grasped it.” / “Did you just quote Spongebob?”

    - “Why are you embarrassed? You’re beautiful, don’t you see that?”

    - “Don’t you dare give me those sex eyes right now! This is a serious situation, here!”

    - “Can you please go sit in another room or something? I can’t concentrate with you around.” 

    - “Please help–there’s a spider on the wall outside my room and it won’t let me leave.”

    - “Ohmygod, I’m in love with an adult man-child.”

    - “I get that you’re taller than me, but does that really require you to steal all the blankets? I’m cold.”

    - “Hey–my eyes are up here, you perv. No, I don’t care that we’re dating–it’s still rude.”

    - “Uh–why am I wearing your shirt? I think it looks good on me?”

    - “I heard you say my name in your sleep.”

    - “You’re too good for me.”

    - “You may be a jerk, but you’re my jerk.”

    - “Are you seriously still listening to this song? I was gone for four hours!”

- Art: 

    - Hand holding 

    - Napping together 

    - First meeting 

    - Tall carries smol

    - Flowers

    - Fight together

    - Slow dancing  

    - First kiss

    - Couples cosplay

    - Dorky pictures 

- To do some au's maybe… 

    - 80s AU

    - Medieval AU

    - Apocalypse AU

    - Beauty & the Beast AU

    - Musical AU

    - Pirate AU

    - Arranged Marriage AU

    - Royalty/Servant AU

    - Soulmates AU

    - Hogwarts AU

    - Wonderland AU

    - Fallen Angel AU

    - Robin Hood AU

    - Circus AU

    - Actor AU 

    - Forbidden Love AU

    - Parent AU 

    - Wild West AU

[justanoutlawfic]

The Sematary: An Outlaw Queen Ficlet

Summary: When Robin & Regina move to a small town in Maine, she finds a strange ritual takes place in the woods when a pet passes away. Little does she realize she'll be doing the same when she loses someone close to her.

For day 1 of Spooky OQ:  Cemetery. Lovers. A ritual.

Warning: Character Death & Murder take place

Also on AO3

He had done it for her, like he did everything else. Robin had loved the city. Boston hadn’t been his hometown, but it reminded him of London. The kids would learn about taking the train, sidewalk etiquette and never be far from their neighbors. It was important to him. But when Regina got the job offer in the small farm town of Storybrooke, Maine, he said yes. She hadn’t expected him to. Regina was ready for a fight. She had a list of arguments ready: there was a great private school, cheaper housing (not to mention they could live in an actual house) and it was a short two-hour train ride away from Boston so they could visit family and friends at least once a month.

 She didn’t have to go into any of the arguments. Robin just smiled, took hold of her hands and agreed. Because that’s what he always did: make sacrifices for her.

 They moved in the early fall. As their beige Honda headed out of the city and towards the country side, they could see the reds and yellows falling from the trees. Henry and Roland pressed their noses to the glass, giggling as their father went over the bumps in the road. Bryony sat in between them. They got lucky and the 1-year-old slept for most of the trip, her head bobbing up and down all the way.

 Regina’s hand rested atop of Robin’s, glancing smiles at him every so often as they crossed the town line. It was a change for both of them. She had been raised in Boston; he had moved there after the death of his parents. This would be their first time in the country. It would be his first time not working. They had agreed it’d be best for him to be a stay-at-home dad for a bit now that they could afford it.

 “Are you sure this is okay?” She whispered.

“It’s a dream job for you,” he replied. He flashed her a smile that showed off those dimples that Roland had inherited. “Your own practice. You can do whatever you want with it, out of the grips of your mother and Whale.”

 Regina let out a content sigh. She had gone into medicine partially to please her mother, but she had really wanted to do it for herself too. She had spent so long working for Cora’s clinic and dealing with her critical eye. Then there was Victor Whale, the misogynistic partner. Regina loved the patients. She just hated work. Now, she hoped that would all change.

 15 minutes later, they pulled up in front of an old three-story farmhouse. There was a fresh coat of white paint and crooked black windows. A deep ruby barn sat behind the house, clearly having seen better days. The entire property was surrounded by trees that were turning, the leaves sprinkling to the ground.

 Henry and Roland scrambled from their seats, running towards the house. Regina got out, removing Bryony from her seat. Robin stood beside his girls, putting an arm around them. She leaned into him, smiling a bit.

 “We can be happy here,” she said. “Don’t you think?”

“I know we can.”  

****************************************************

Unpacking was probably Regina’s unfavorite task. It was hard enough in a 2-bedroom apartment, but even worse in a big house. Robin was dealing with the upstairs, while she handled the living room and kitchen. Bryony and Roland sat in front of the T.V, their eyes glued. Henry had decided to play outside for a bit to get a break from the “babies”. He was only 3 years older than Roland, but at 8 that must have seemed like eons.

 Regina wiped her flannel clad arm against her forehead before taking a swig from her water bottle. She glanced out the window in time to watch her oldest child head straight into the woods-something she had told him strictly not to do. Regina hopped to her feet instantly.

 “Roland, keep an eye on your sister. Go get Daddy upstairs if you need anything.”

 She waited for a grunt of acknowledgement which is all she could expect from him when it came to SpongeBob. Regina headed out into the yard, walking towards the woods. She had yet to go in there since moving in and hadn’t necessarily planned to.

 “Henry!” She called out. “Henry Daniel! I told you not to go in here!”

 Regina walked further through the trees, her heartbeat picking up a bit. She hopped over logs and mud puddles, shivering a bit in her light flannel. As she turned a corner, she heard some chanting and paused.

 A group of children walked past her. They were dressed in what she had only seen in books from her Native American Anthropology course in college, in all deerskin.  Some wore headdresses with feathers. All of them, however, donned wooden masks shaped like wolves. They were holding something up with colorful sticks. Regina took a closer look and realized it was a dog. A dead dog.

Regina’s eyes widened and she ran as fast as she could past the ritual, calling Henry’s name all the way. She was going so fast, she didn’t realize that she was about to trip over a log until she fell into a pair of arms. Looking up, she found a kind but rough face. The woman had white hair which was pulled back into a white bun. She wore a green camo jacket and khaki pants. Her brown boots were caked with mud, clearly from the woods. Regina stumbled back a bit, causing the older woman to laugh.

“Sorry for scaring you, just wanted to make sure you didn’t get hurt.”

Regina put her hand over her chest, trying to catch her breath. “I’m just looking for my son. Have you seen him?” She gestured halfway up her torso. “Ye high. Dark brown hair, hazel eyes, red and grey scarf...”

A familiar voice called out. “Mommy!”

Regina spun around and found Henry standing in the midst of a makeshift graveyard. The stones were misshapen and crooked, all handcarved. A handmade wooden sign in the front of it read “Pet Sematary”. Regina rushed over, pulling her son close.

“Henry! What did I tell you about going into the woods!” She chastised. “It’s dangerous here.”

“I saw other kids and I wanted to play with them.”

Regina’s mind flashed to the procession she had witnessed and she felt a chill run down her spine. “That doesn’t give you a right to come in here.”

“But Mom…”

The older woman stepped forward. “Your mother is right. These woods are not a playground. Those children aren’t here to play,”

“What are they doing?”

She gave him a gentle smile. “They’re burying a pet.”

Henry looked around the cemetery. “Here?”

“No.” She bit her lip and looked off into the distance. “Not here.”

Regina held Henry closer. “We just moved into the farmhouse. Is this part of our property.”

“We share it,” the old woman explained. “It falls smack dab in the middle of our property lines. I’m Eugena Lucas. I live a bit down that way...” She gestured south. “With my granddaughter, Ruby.”

“I’m Henry,” the little boy, piped up. “That’s my mom, Regina.”

Eugena smiled. “Well,” she said. “It’s very nice to meet you both. I’d be happy to tell you all about Storybrooke sometime, just not in the woods.”

Regina nodded, feeling her heart calming a bit. “Sure...that sounds very nice. How about you come to our place for dinner?”

***************************************

The next few weeks were spent adjusting to their new home. Roland and Henry started off at Storybrooke Academy. Regina officially reopened the doctor’s office that had been closed for far too long after the old one had passed. Eugena stopped by for dinner at least once a week, sometimes she’d bring her granddaughter, but mostly she came alone. She explained that she had raised Ruby all by herself. Her daughter, Anita, had passed on, but she didn’t offer more information than that and Regina didn’t want to pry.

One evening while Robin gave the kids a bath, Regina and Eugena sat on the back deck drinking warm cider in the big adirondack chairs. The former’s eyes glanced towards the woods. She hadn’t been in there since that afternoon and yet, she couldn’t take her mind off of it. She had dreams about the children and that dog. The German Shepherd-blood matted his fur-would show up at the house and bark for hours on end until she’d force herself to wake up.

“That procession,” Regina said. “The one I saw the day we met. Why do they do that? You said they’re not burying them in the cemetery you were in.”

Eugena was quiet for a minute, taking a slurp from her mug. “You know the cliff, the one overlooking the cemetery?” Regina nodded. “There’s another graveyard up there. Legend has it that a spirit called Wendigo inhabits it. If you bury your pet there, then they’ll come back to you.”

Regina tilted her head. “Seriously?”

Eugena nodded. “Yes. It’s tradition. The Natives have done it in these parts for years now and it’s passed onto the other locals.”

Regina fiddled with her wedding band. “Have you ever done it?”

Another silence. “Of course not.”

“Eugena.”

The screen door slid open and Roland came running out in his fox pajamas, jumping into Eugea’s lap.

“Can you read me a story, Mrs. Lucas?”

“Roland,” Regina chastised. “I’m sure Mrs. Lucas wants to get back to her home.”

Eugena shook her head and smiled. “I’d love to read to you, sweetheart.” She gathered Roland into her arms and headed back into the house, leaving Regina with more questions than answers.

******************************************

Mischief Night had been busy for Regina during her residency in the ER and nothing had changed in a small town. She spent the night stitching up drunk frat boys and finding trails of toilet paper following in the teenage girls. By the time she could head home, she was exhausted. She still hadn’t recovered by Halloween when it was time for the boys to go out trick-or-treating. 

“Can you just take them?” she asked Robin.

He gave her a look. “Seriously?”

“I worked a double shift last night.”

“And I had to deal with Bryony’s ear infection, help Henry with his Science project and make two dozen cupcakes for Roland’s class party.”

“Robin…”

“No, it’s fine. It’s fine.” He headed for the closet, fumbling through the hangers to find his heavy jacket. 

“Robin.” Regina forced herself out of bed. “If you want me to go, I’ll go.”

“I said it’s fine, Regina.”

“But clearly it’s not, so just talk to me.”

Robin sighed, turning to face her. “This just isn’t what I expected when we moved here, you know? Me basically doing everything alone with the kids. You’re too exhausted to be a part of this family.”

“Robin, you knew that I was going to be doing this practice basically on my own. It’s going to be hectic and crazy…”

“But you have a family. We’re here and we’re waiting for you.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I am so damn proud of you, you have no idea. Sometimes...I just miss the way it used to be.”

Regina frowned as he walked out the door. The truth was, she missed it too. She had just been so obsessed with making everything perfect at the clinic, she had let things slip at home. Regina had taken for granted the fact that he would do anything to make him happy. What had she done to make him happy in awhile? Not anything special. 

That night, she passed out the candy and put Bryony to bed on her own. She lit a few candles and dressed in the only lingerie that still fit her post-baby. 45-minutes after the last flame was lit, she could hear the door open. Robin told the boys to leave the candy on the counter and change out of their costumes before bed. Regina reached over and pressed play on her iPod, allowing the sounds of Frank Sinatra to play. Another 20 minutes later and he was up in the room, doing a double take from the doorway.

Regina got up, pouring out the scotch she had retrieved from the kitchen. She walked over and handed him a glass.

“What is all this?” he asked.

“It’s our Halloween.”

“Regina…”

“I know it’s not going to fix everything...but I want to start.”

Robin bit down on his lip, looking from the candles, to the scotch, to her. “I shouldn’t have exploded at you like that earlier.”

“You didn’t explode and I deserved what you said. I work hard, but our family deserves just as much of my efforts.” She kissed him gently. “I’m gonna make it work. I promise. You gave up so much for us to move here. You always make sacrifices for me...I want to do that for you.”

Robin knocked back his scotch, placing the glass onto the bookcase. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his forehead against hers.

“I don’t need you to give up anything. I just need my wife more.”

She did her best to attempt to wink, knowing she would fail. It made him laugh, which ultimately made her smile. “Well, your wish is my command.”

***************************************

The next few weeks were spent with Regina learning to juggle life and work better. She managed her hours more, hired some more help and yet, still had time for her family. It wasn’t a perfect situation by any means, but they were finding their way. Her family had adjusted their expectations a bit as well. They didn’t want her to be superwoman and overexert herself. No, all they wanted was their Regina a bit more.

Roland’s birthday came near Thanksgiving. Despite the chill, he insisted on having an outdoor birthday party. Everyone was invited, from the kids in his kindergarten class, to their family from Boston and even the Lucases. They all gathered in the front yard, the kids chasing each other about. Regina leaned into Robin, feeling his heartbeat through his winter jacket. Eugena was holding Bryony with the same look about her she always had when she did. Regina wondered if she thought about Anita when she saw the little girl. Eugena hadn’t spoke of her daughter since that night on the porch and Regina didn’t want to pry into her personal life. Ruby didn’t speak of her mother either, but she had been an infant herself when she passed.

Regina got pulled away from her husband to get the cake ready. As she stuck the candles into the buttercream frosting, she heard a horn blaring from the long dirt road that stretched out in front of their home. Regina looked up to see a single blue ball sitting in the center of the road, a present Roland had received from his aunt Mary Margaret. Roland was sprawled off to the side of it on the grass , looking paralyzed with fear. Regina ran to him, gathering him in her arms.

“Roland, sweetheart, are you alright?” She pressed a kiss to her head. “We don’t chase after balls in the street, you know that.”

Roland didn’t say anything. Regina looked down at him, his brown eyes as wide as the ball in the middle of the road. His index finger was pointed outwards and Regina followed the direction it was pointed to. There was a pick-up truck, now on it’s side. The front bumper was dented and the window shattered. Blood stained the road, looking almost copper. Regina continued looking down as if it were a maze. There was a ditch off to the side and Regina spotted bits of green fluff. Her father had come beside her and she put Roland into her arms, dashing across the road.

Regina knelt in front of the ditch, moving over the body that lay inside of it. As soon as she saw the face, she let out a blood curdling scream. Robin’s face had glass inside of if it and he was bleeding heavily. He wasn’t moving. Regina clung his body closer to her own, the tears falling down her face and the screams continuing to ring out.

**************************************************************

Her father took the kids back to Boston for her, so she could get the house ready. Regina wouldn’t stick around for the sale of it, but the realtor promised it would go fairly quickly. Dr. Shepherd would take over the practice in her absence. The town would move on without her.

If only she could feel like she could move on.

Her heart had a hole inside of it. No, she didn’t even feel like she had a heart. It had been ripped out the day Robin died.

Some witnesses had tried their best to explain what had happened. Roland and his friends had been playing with the ball when it roamed into the street. He went after it, not noticing the truck barreling down the road. Robin had gone after him. He had managed to push their son out of the way, but it had been too late for him.

No matter what they said, Regina knew it was her fault. She had moved them there, to that stupid, quiet town. If they had stayed in Boston, in their 2-bedroom apartment overlooking the water, Roland would have had his party at the science museum. No one would have been put in danger. They wouldn’t have even opened their presents at the party, rather than at home. If they had stayed in Boston, Roland wouldn’t have told Regina that he never wanted a birthday again. Her kids would still have a father.

Regina wouldn’t be a widow.

She had to be selfish. She had to ask him to do it for her. Why hadn’t he put up a fight? Why had he done everything for her? God, why had he been the perfect man?

Regina sat on the back porch, a mug of spiked cider in her hands. She stared out into the distance, thinking of their wedding day. Despite Cora’s wishes for a lavish ceremony, it had been small. Just family and a few friends. Regina wore a white dress that cut off at the knees and Robin hadn’t even put on his suit jacket. They were married by Regina’s med school friend, Archie Hopper, who had been ordained but ordinarily was a psychiatrist. It was simple. She had feathers in her bouquet and her earrings. Maybe it wasn’t what her mother had wanted, but it was what Regina had wanted.

Robin’s funeral had been bigger than their wedding. Everyone was far more dressed up too, though everyone wore black. Regina didn’t utter a single word as she watched the casket be lowered into the ground. She just held Bryony in her arms, Roland’s hand in her free one. Henry was stoically beside her, his childhood ruined by this terrible day.

It had killed Regina to let her father take the kids, but she knew it was necessary to get everything done. Besides, they’d be in good hands. Cora had left Henry Sr. for a rich businessman when Regina was in college, so there was no way the kids would have to deal with her. They would be around Henry and his new wife, other family and friends. Regina wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to hold it together for them at the moment.

Robin probably would have been. He probably wouldn’t have had to move back at all. Hell, he wouldn’t have left Boston in the first place.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now.” 

Regina looked up to find Eugena standing there, lantern hand. “Kids need stability right now,” she muttered. “And that’s not me.”

Eugena settled into the chair beside her. “When I lost my husband...well...that was hard.”

Regina stared into her blue eyes. “You lost a husband and a child. How...how did you move on? Because right now, not a lot is keeping me from wanting to walk into a river.”

“Well, after Alfred, I had Anita. Then after her... I had Ruby. And luckily for you, Regina, you still have your brood. They need their mother.”

Regina swallowed hard, the alcohol tainted cider burning her throat. “Robin was always the better parent. Even back in Boston when he was teaching, he was home more.”

“That doesn’t change a thing. They need you.”

“They need both of us.” Regina bit her lip. She knew she was pushing, but now Eugena was not the only one who had lost someone. “You said once that you never buried someone in that special cemetary, the one that the spirit guarded.”

“Regina…”

“I didn’t believe you. I never said anything more, but I know it’s not true.” Eugena ducked her head. “Is it?”

Eugena’s head stayed on the glowing bulb inside the green wired lantern. For awhile, the only sounds that could be heard were those of the rustling wind and the few birds that didn’t go South for the winter. Regina’s eyes stayed burned on her friend. She held the key to this lock, and to Regina, it wasn’t fair that she was keeping it a secret.

“I didn’t live in the woods when Alfred died,” Eugena said, softly. Her eyes didn’t move from the lantern. “We owned a bed and breakfast in town, along with a diner. After he passed, however, times were tough. I sold both along with the house and moved to the cottage here with Anita. She got pregnant very young, the father of the baby took off. He was scum anyway. I was disappointed and made that abundantly clear. I just didn’t understand why she wanted to keep it. She was a child herself.”

Regina could hear the guilt in Eugena’s voice and placed a hand over her own.

“Henry is only 8, but I can imagine feeling similar if he got a girl pregnant.”

Eugena shook her head. “You’d be kinder than me, Regina. You’re a much better mother.”

“Eugena…”

“It’s true. I made a lot of mistakes. I was so angry with her. I said things...things I wish I could take back.” Her voice shook and in the light of the lantern, Regina could see a tear fall down her face. “Eventually, Anita went into labor. She had a lot of complications and ended up hemorrhaging. Ruby was fine, perfectly healthy. Anita...however…” She trailed off, the tears still falling.

“She died,” Regina whispered.

“I was a wreck. I didn’t know what to do. Anita had insisted on a homebirth and there I was. I had her lifeless body on the bed, Ruby crying in my arms. I couldn’t lose my child.” Eugena wiped her tears. “I had heard of the legend of Wendigo. Before I knew it, I left Ruby with the people who lived here at the time and was dragging Anita’s body up the hill. I buried her there.”

Regina had tears falling down her own face from Eugena’s story. “Did it work?”

“It did. Yes. Anita returned at the cottage that evening.”

Regina smiled for a moment in spite of her tears, but then it faltered. She had never once seen Anita. Both she and Eugena both said she was dead. “But…”

“But she wasn’t the same. There was a darkness about her. She didn’t smile, she never ate. One day, the kitchen nearly burned down. There were reports of murders throughout the town and though I was suspicious, I tried not to blame her. Then one day, I caught her trying to hurt Ruby. That’s when I knew.” Her eyes clamped shut. “I had to put a stop to her.”

Regina’s stomach dropped. “So you…”

“Managed to get one over on her. Gave her a proper burial in the family plot. Told Ruby that her mother died in a car accident and left it at that.”

Regina looked towards the woods. She knew Eugena’s story was a cautionary tale, but she also knew she could get her husband back.

“You can’t Regina,” Eugena told her. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Robin would never be like that.” Regina wasn’t sure if she was talking to her friend or herself. “He’s not capable of evil.”

“It’s not them, it’s the spirit.”

“I could have him back.”

“I know you miss him, I know it’s hard. But you just heard my story. Either way, there’s no happy ending. Just close up the house and go to Boston.”

Regina’s eyes flickered back to Eugena. “My heart feels like it has been ripped out. I don’t sleep. I don’t eat. I have lost my soulmate, my best friend. I can’t go on without him.” She grabbed hold of Eugena’s hands. “Please. You are the only person that can help me with this.”

“Regina, it’s too dangerous. He’ll hurt people.”

“I can make sure he doesn’t! I know my Robin!”

“You know your Robin! Not this version of him!”

“I need him back!”

“Sometimes the dead is better off dead!”

“Would you have let anyone talk you back from bringing back Anita?”

Eugena sighed, pulling away from Regina. She massaged her temples. Regina stayed leaning forward, the tears falling.

“We’ll need two shovels,” Eugena said, after five minutes. “And we need to do this tonight.”

**********************************************

The grass hadn’t even had a chance to grow back where Robin had been buried. The dirt was sleek and wet as they dug it up. Regina was surprised at how fast Eugena was able to work, in spite of her age. They didn’t speak as they dug, getting the dirt and grime all over their pants and jackets. As they flung it forward, it managed to cover up the gravestone and mask the death date. It wouldn’t matter anymore by the end of the night, anyhow.

After two hours of digging, they reached the casket. Regina used a rock to break off the clasp and the top was opened. Robin laid lifeless as he had the day of the funeral, dressed in the suit John had picked out for him to help Regina out. He looked handsome, from the neck down. Meanwhile, the scars from the accident were healing on his face. Regina pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Not to worry sweetheart,” she whispered. “You’re coming home to me.”

The two women dragged his body out of the ground and back to Eugena’s pick up truck. Regina sat in the back, her arms clutching her husband’s corpse, clearly not about to let go anytime soon. She knew she would have to reburry him again but for the moment, he could be hers. His head laid on her lap, her fingers carding through his cold, blonde hair.

Eugena stopped just short of the Pet Sematary and the two dragged his body through it, then up the hill. They stopped every so often to catch their breath or take a swig of water. Regina made sure Robin wasn’t injured any further.

Eventually, Eugena called out to stop. The dimming glow of her lantern showed pebbles on the ground making out crosses. They dropped the body and Regina began to dig. Eugena had explained that it had to be her to do it, or it wouldn’t work. Once it was shallow enough, she gently pushed her husband’s body in and kissed the top of his forehead.

“I love you, sweetheart,” she whispered.

The dirt went back on top of him and Regina turned to Eugena, who looked a mix of exhausted and concerned. Hand in hand, they walked back down the cliff, separating to go back to their homes. Regina thanked the older woman but she didn’t respond.

Once home, Regina took a hot shower and changed into flannel pajama pants and an old band t-shirt that belonged to Robin. She climbed into the chair by the window in the living room and waited. As the hours ticked by, her eyelids grew heavier. She tried to fight it, but found it difficult.  Eventually, she was asleep.

********************************************

Regina awoke to a crashing sound. She fumbled out of the chair and ran to the source, which seemed to be at the back of the house. As she rushed into the kitchen, she nearly tripped over a pair of Robin’s old sneakers and caught herself on the counter. When she looked up, she saw him.

He was wearing the suit they had buried him in, though it was covered in mud. The scar from the accident ran down his face, a reminder of the time he saved their middle child’s life. His hair wasn’t blonde anymore, but brown from all the dirt and rain. He had tracked in water and mess, but Regina didn’t care. Her eyes were focused on his blue ones.

“Robin,” she breathed.

She ran to him, throwing her arms around his torso. His heart beat evenly and it was like a symphony to her. She waited for him to return the hug, but he just stood there.

“Regina.”

His voice was cold. Empty. She had never heard it like that before. Looking up at his face, she couldn’t even see the dimples that Roland had inherited from him. Slowly, Regina pulled away.

“How am I back?” He asked.

“I...I found a way.” She suddenly felt nervous. “Eugena helped me.”

Robin looked around the room. The sun was coming up. “Where are the kids?”

“My dad took them back to Boston after you…” Regina couldn’t bring herself to say it. “You’re back now, so it doesn’t matter. I can get them back.”

Robin walked past her, to the fridge. He stared at a photo of the five of them. Eugena had taken it not long after they moved in. The boys were standing in front, beaming proudly. Robin held Bryony in one arm, the other around his wife. Both he and Regina were smiling. He took it off and continued to look at it for a moment, before crumpling it in his hand. Regina let out a gasp. 

“Robin!”

He looked back at her and his eyes were so cold, it stopped her in her tracks. “You shouldn’t have done this, Regina. You shouldn’t have brought me back.”

Regina stood there frozen for a moment, searching for any trace of her husband. He had to be in there. He had to be somewhere. She had been so desperate in her grief to get him back, that she had done this for a reason.

“I just...I couldn’t go on without you.”

“So, you decided to do this to me?!?” He pointed a finger in her direction.. “For once, could you just consider someone but yourself?!?”

Regina shook. She thought of their marriage. All he had done for her, to be with her. They had moved here, for her. And now he was back, because she couldn’t even let him go.

“Do you know what this is?” he continued, without missing a beat. “Do you know what happened when I crawled out of the ground and felt this urge in my body?” Regina slowly shook her head. “This isn’t the fucking man I was.”

Regina looked closer at his hands and saw blood. That would make sense due to the accident, except it was fresh. Suddenly, she found herself taking three steps back.

“Robin ...you're right,” she reasoned. “This isn’t you. But I know deep down, inside...there’s the man I married. The man I love! The man I couldn’t live without!”

“No.” Robin shook his head. “That man is gone.”

He lunged forward and Regina grabbed hold of a serving bowl, throwing it towards him. It was enough to stun him and allow her time to escape the house. She ran as fast as she could, fear and guilt consuming her. This wasn’t her husband. This wasn’t her Robin. No, this was another person entirely. Like Eugena had said, it was like something had taken over. God, why hadn’t she listened to her? 

Regina ran through the Pet Sematary and got to the Lucas cottage. She burst through the door, calling out Eugena and Ruby’s names. As she made it round to the staircase, however, she found both Lucas women on the ground. Ruby was unconscious, bleeding from the abdomen. Eugena had the knife protruded into her neck, blood still flowing. Regina’s breath hitched,  her hand flying over her mouth.

If the demon had taken over Anita and Eugena had killed its host, then it would make sense why it would come back for them first. Even so, Regina had lost too much over the past few weeks and now, her best friend.

She also knew, she didn’t have a lot of time. Regina went back to the kitchen and took hold of another butcher’s knife, hiding it behind her back. She had to remind herself that this wasn’t her husband. She had buried him a week ago.

Regina made it as far as the sematary when she found Robin waiting by the cliff. He had that smile on his face, the dimples showing. It didn’t match his eyes, though. The baby blues were gone, replaced by darkness. Regina stepped forward, feeling a chill from being out in next to nothing.

“You were selfish,” the demon disguised as Robin declared. “You were horrible.”

“Yes, yes I was.”

“You were warned.”

“Also very true.”

“Why?” He glared down at her. “Tell me why?”

“Because, I was in love. Our story was so damn short. And, I guess it still doesn’t get a happy ending.”

Regina whipped her right hand around and did it without a second thought. Robin’s body collapsed to the ground, the darkness seeping from his eyes. She collapsed beside him, the tears falling down her cheeks. He had only been alive again for less than 20 minutes but it was enough for a second lifetime. Yet in it, he had been possessed and murdered people they considered family.

“Love really is weakness,” Regina whispered.

[televisor-reviews]

Everything Of Note I Have To Say About “Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil” Season 4!

As I’m sure you’re aware, the great animated series Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil has recently concluded and I have a ton to say about it... So I made a list!

1. Spoilers...

2. Duh...

3. Before anything, I absolutely loved it! This was the finale this great show really deserved.

4. Let’s start from the beginning: I’ve been watching Star Vs. for a few years now when a good friend of mine recommended it to me. At first I was resistant because the advertising for it at the time was god awful, but luckily I was convinced otherwise and been loving it ever since.

5. The show premiered when I was a teenager, going through all the cliche teen shit. So seeing a show that portrayed the overly dramatic life of a teenager without being one of those stock teen dramas was a good change of pace.

6. In particular, I remember being amazed that it could be so relatable while still being able to have it’s upbeat and fast-paced fantasy/sci-fi action sequences and world while also having a good mixture of mature and juvenile humor. I mean, all of that would seem to work against each other and yet this show made it work in spades.

7. Actually, the way Star Vs. uses it’s fictitious setting to complement its down-to-earth characters while juggling great humor reminds me a lot of a different Disney property: Guardians Of The Galaxy. GOTG, I think, is the perfect film to study if you want to ever write for sci-fi or fantasy because director James Gunn understood that you can have as wild and crazy of a world as you want but you still need to write your characters as genuine as possible. If you don’t, you’ll get something like Avatar (the movie); a film that everyone remembers liking because of the incredible world and even better effects, but no one can name a single character or plot-point. The universe still needs to be grounded by the characters or else it’ll become forgettable and un-relatable. Star Vs., thankfully, does not have this problem. I love the characters, their trials, their tribulations, all because they feel real despite the world in which it takes place.

8. That isn’t to say there isn’t a reason to set a story in a fantastical world or that there isn’t an issue with being too relatable. If anything, the world of the show helps to make it more entertaining, less monotonous, and more unique. Without it, Star Vs. would be another Pretty Little Liars or Zoey 101 or Dawson’s Creek or any other boring teen drama out there. They’re practically identical because they start off too similarly! They all follow around relatively normal teenagers in a relatively normal world with their relatively normal life and god do none of them stand out. So Star Vs. separates itself by still keeping its characters pretty wacky and the universe as crazy as Daron Nefcy’s imagination!

9. Even by a storytelling perspective, this makes more sense because there is objectively more that can be done! By the end of Zoey 101, Zoey and her lame crew basically did everything they could do without jumping the shark too much. In comparison, there are countless adventures Marco and Star could go on even past the series finale.

10. And because the number of future adventures are countless, part of the tragedy of the show ending is that we (the audience) don’t get to experience them alongside these characters we’ve learned to love so much. Keeping that door open leaves a much longer lasting impression on the audience, as apposed to the ending of Zoey 101 in which... wait, what happened again? I don’t remember. Anyways!

11. I love the comedy in this show! From the very beginning, the humor was very lighthearted and yet mature because it had to be. It had to have a tinge of maturity to it because the target audience isn’t little kids like it would be for a show like My Little Pony or SpongeBob. Star Vs., with it’s doomsday atmosphere and constant teen drama, was definitely geared more towards older children/preteens. The ones more likely to watch a show like Gravity Falls or Rick And Morty and this audience will not tolerate childish humor. They can appreciate it sprinkled in here and there but if used too much, they’re taste will sour. This is because as they are maturing to to start maturing into adulthood, there is the natural need to separate from childish things with the added childishness of wanting to totally separate from it. That’s why on The Loud House, a punchline could literally be poop and why that is not something you’d see very often on Star Vs.

12. With that said, the show still needed the humor to be incredibly lighthearted because otherwise this show would be so depressing! The worlds in which these characters live in and know are constantly changing, evolving, and almost blowing up. For Christ sake, many important characters die in this finale! The only one who died in Gravity Falls was the villain and in this, the villain isn’t even one of them! Seeing Marco and Star still be able to crack jokes to one another and making each other laugh keeps spirits high. God knows Hekapoo can’t do that now!

13. Speaking of Marco and Star, I have been a hardcore Starco defender from the very beginning despite the show constantly trying to convince me otherwise! There are so many perfect pairings in this cast that any one of them could’ve worked if Nefcy were top change her mind. If it ended with Star x Tom or Marco x Janna or Star x Janna or Marco x Hekapoo or Marco x Tom or Marco x Kelly it would’ve worked perfectly well.

14. But lets not kid ourselves, it was always going to end with Marco x Star. Their relationship and chemistry is unmatched, they might be the only couple in existence to say a joint line like “With or without magic, we were always meant to be together,” work and come off as not only sincere but true. I don’t even believe in the whole “soul mate” mumbo-jumbo, but I’d be damned if they are not that!

15. I audibly squealed in delight when they finally got together. It was like the build-up of four season culminated in one scene.

16. Though it wouldn’t really surprise me if I was alone in this assessment because I am a sucker for a good romantic movie. I saw La La Land in theaters, I cried at Love, Simon, I actually really love Love Actually. And though I do think Star Vs. pulled off relationships better than most, take my opinion with a grain of salt because the build-up itself was a little grating.

17. I have a huge issue with “will-they, won’t-they” stories! It’s the same issue I had with The Office and Friends and The Big Bang Theory and Sailor Moon and That ‘70s Show and every other show that has this dumb trope! Of course they’ll get together because otherwise I wasted several hours of my life wondering about it! Star Vs. isn’t as bad about this as most others but it’s still there and it’s still annoying.

18. It does this better than most because of three main components: it’s relatively short, we get plenty of Star and Marco being all lovey-dovey with each other once they do get together, and they do have genuine chemistry together. They have so much chemistry that Star’s ex literally told Marco that they were clearly into each other. If only they could’ve avoided the trope.

19. Okay, this next point is a little personal but it did effect my feelings towards this show’s finale so I think it’s kind of important that I mention it. Around the time the Star Vs. was ending, I was just entering my first real relationship and around the time I watched this finale, we lasted long enough that we could start taking the relationship a little bit more seriously. Now before anyone says anything: everything’s going great (she actually made me my header) and I am absolutely still in a honeymoon phase with her. But I think you could imagine how a lovesick teen just entering a serious relationship would be effected by this show that ended with lovesick teens so in love that they’d happily sacrifice themselves for the other.

20. I may or may not have also been high while watching this and that may or may not have effected my viewing experience. Don’t be a narc!

21. I love what this last season did with Ludo. Push away the fact that they somehow keep talking Alan Tudyk into these rolls he clearly does need to do and yet still does a great job at it (did you know he was King Candy in Wreck-It Ralph? Why? Why did he do that? Why is he so good in it? This guy’s casting decisions are so weird). The character of Ludo was a generic comic relief villain (see Doofenshmirtz) but was usually fine if only because he made for a good contrast and was way more interesting compared to Toffee (played by Michael C. Hall, another actor who does not need this job). But season four made Ludo a million times more interesting by showing his obsession with the wand exactly what it is: and unhealthy obsession that he needs to get over. And I like where he’s left by the end, clearly still not doing too great but is making strides to get better. As someone who has known many addicts in my life, this hit home a little.

22. Actually, I think a large part of season four was specifically meant to fix the first two mediocre seasons. Just look at my new favorite episode of the series: Britta’s Tacos. In this episode, Star and Marco find themselves back on Earth after a year of being on Mewni and catching up with all of their friends and seeing what’s changed. Watching this episode, I was reminded that as good as the first couple of seasons were, the latter half of the series was a ton better! The characters, character arcs, stories, everything, everything was better once they went up to Mewni. So seeing them go back to Earth and challenging the writers with rewriting their past characters to be more interesting showed just how much the series has improved. Could you imagine characters as uninteresting as those nerds I don’t even remember the names of being introduced in the much more interesting latter seasons? I couldn’t! So I appreciate that they went back and made sure every character in this show was interesting... except for Toffee, he still sucks.

23. And of course, the character that improved the most, hands down was absolutely Jackie Lynn Thomas! She was as bland and boring as a love interest got and that bothered me from the very beginning. How is it that in a show this imaginative and unique they still felt it necessary to use this tired cliche. So bringing her back, the writers had to do something to make her more interesting and it was apparently really easy. All they had to do was keep the character herself basically the same but now she’s a lesbian. And somehow, just adding that one extra layer made her feel so different, so interesting, so complete. I think that’s what it was, she just felt like an incomplete plot point and giving her a girlfriend completely separates herself from being important to the plot and adds that extra layer to make her seem more finished as a character.

24. I’m actually really surprised by this recent trend of LGBTQ+ characters in kids cartoons. You’d think that of all mediums, kids cartoons would be the last to fully integrate a controversial minority but they’ve been some of the first. Steven Universe really started this trend but I feel like The Loud House was the first to show and say it outright. Star Vs. doesn’t do it that well (and I’m willing to bet that was because of higher-ups over at Disney) but I appreciate the sentiment anyways. They never call Jackie and her girlfriend a couple or show them kissing, the most they do is have them hold hands and though I guess that’s enough, I wish they were able to go further. Whatever, I already wrote about why this representation in kids media is important, go read that.

25. For a while, Star was my favorite character in this show. I just have a real soft-spot for upbeat female badasses (and I am very happy this has become more of a trope recently), I think Janna might’ve taken the throne. It’s not that Star stopped being interesting or anything like that, I just really love Janna and her “Jannanigans”. Plus, I do really like the “cute girl who’s into weird shit” trope too. She’s not my favorite version of this trope (see Raven from 2003′s Teen Titans), but she was always a delight whenever she was on screen.

26. Tom is probably the most obvious example of “boring character was made interesting” that the show has. In the beginning, he was the standard bad boy archetype but, over time, was given more personality and started working off the other characters much better. Sure, he and Star worked great with each other as to be expected, but I think the real standout relationship he had was with Marco. I have never seen bromance as strong as what those two have. Their little musical number at Queen Moon’s cornonation turned talent contest might have been the greatest piece of animation ever made (change my mind). And this I know people agree with me, I cannot exaggerate just how much literally everyone I have ever spoken to loves Marco and Tom. It just works so strangely, it has to come off as genuine.

27. I think the series was supposed to go on for another season. I say this because Kelly was too good of a character to waste like they did! She was a great character with tons of personality and amazing chemistry with Marco that was seemingly building up to something... only to drop the ball at the end. She isn’t given much to do, she doesn’t have a final scene with Marco, she isn’t even given a good ending. The most we got was Ponyhead theorizing what her life would be like just to cheer up Star. If that was all they were going to do with Kelly, that’s just a waste of perfectly good build-up.

28. It’s very strange how on the nose these metaphors in the show got at times while still seeming perfect. I guess it had to be on the nose so that the younger audience could catch on to them but I’m not sure what the’ll do with the knowledge that magic=nuclear power. Also, the monsters kind of changed metaphors, originally they were clearly meant to be Native American stand-ins but later on they kind of changed into African American stand-ins. Not that they’re histories (in America) are all that different but it was a noticeable switch. It’s not like Zootopia where any given animal could represent any number of races depending on the scene in question, this was definitely what Star Vs. was going for and I’m not sure if it totally worked. It didn’t NOT work, I guess.

29. I actually don’t like the whole “blowing up the magic” thing. It was something Star made up in a temper tantrum and goes totally against the theme. The whole time, the show was going on about how important integration is and how “separate but equal” doesn’t work and whatnot. So destroying the only way they know how to travel through different dimensions seems contrary to that point. I get that drastic times need drastic measures but I get the feeling that in a theoretical season five, Star and Marco would work to bring back the magic. Or maybe find a more scientific way to travel through dimensions... like some kind of portal gun. We already know this takes place in the same multiverse as Rick And Morty, it’s not that crazy an idea.

30. Another reason I think there was originally going to be another season is because the whole “Mewmans are humans” thing that came right out of nowhere! I mean, it makes total sense and I’m totally down with this plot point but it seems like that would be a much bigger deal than the characters make it out to be. My god, they don’t even let Marco finish explaining this. How the hell did that cave painting get to Earth if they didn’t run into Glossaryck until they got to Mewni! Explanation please!

31. I wish destroying the magic didn’t also mean killing off Glossaryck and Hekapoo. I don’t really care about any of the other characters literally made out of magic, but those two are just so likable and such fan favorites, it’s just a shame to see them go. Though I do really like that they’re reaction to the whole thing seems to just be a mild shrug. I get the idea that since they’ve lived for millennia which would make them more okay with dying. It’s easier to live a full life if you can’t die.

32. I like how Mina’s story ends: defeated and yet still refusing it. Her whole speech about having good ideas really says something, like these issues will never be fully defeated because everyone thinks that they’re right. It’s a bit more of a bittersweet moral than “bad always loses because they’re bad” but is an important lesson that I think kids need to learn. Especially in this political climate. Good god, just end me!

33. Holy shit, I’m up to 33! My Wakfu one only made it up to 25 and I am nowhere close to done yet!

34. A psychotic part of me really wishes the finale had Star and Marco die in each other’s arms in the Magic Dimension. It’d be the ultimate show of love as they’re sacrificing each other for one another and be the ultimate ending. I mean, what more is there to care about after the main two characters are dead? It’d be very bittersweet and much more emotionally taxing on the audience but it’d also be more classic. Like Romeo and Juliet or Bonnie and Clyde, they’re love was just too strong for this world.

35. With that said, that part of me is absolutely wrong! Having their dimensions merge was clearly what the series was building up to with it’s hopeful tone, the power of love being a big theme, the message of integration, and (of course) the promise they made to Meteora and Hispanic Meteora. It seems so obvious in hindsight and yet I still didn’t see it coming, I guess that’s a sign of a really good plot twist.

36. My god, everyone is such a dick to Queen Moon. Like let her be in love you jackasses. I had such a hard time liking anyone who worked against her (which is why I really like that Hekapoo had reservations on both sides the whole time) and this includes Ex-Queen Moon. I really can’t grasp my mind as to why she thought this was a good idea, it clearly wasn’t from the very beginning. Maybe if the show gave her time to explain herself I’d be singing a different tune but she never really does and I have a hard time forgiving her even after her apology.

37. This is just a reminder that Starco is best ship. Repeat, Starco is still best ship.

38. The ending reminds me of Titanic. I mean, two young lovebirds meeting each other, growing closer, and falling in love all the while a looming threat of destruction and death is above them. The epic scale of their problem being brought down to earth by the almost normal love story happening in the midst of it all. Their ever ready willingness to sacrifice everything for each other. Their world forcing them to cling to each other for protection. The grand scale of everything around them making their love seem grander than it would be without it. Yeah, there are more and probably better examples I could turn to for comparison (Romeo And Juliet, Les Miserables, Spartacus) but Titanic was the first one to come to mind and I’m sure my subconsciousness has a good reason for that.

39. I continue to have problems with this finale but I get the sense that I’m nitpicking because this was still an amazing end to a great show. When I think about this ending, the first word that comes to mind is deserves. This is the ending that the story deserves, that the characters (minus Kelly) deserves, that the show itself deserves. It really is a fantastic finale and I’m so grateful that I got to experience it.

40.

[latetothegreysparty]

CT Part 2

Hello, lovely people! I got another one of my requests written today. This one is a request for a second part to CT. It’s taken me forever to get this written, so if you’d like to reread CT, it can be found here.

CT Part 2

The first thing Owen was aware of was pain. He wasn’t sure where he was, but he knew he was in a lot of pain. His whole body ached from head to toe. He groaned as he struggled to open his eyes. His eyelids felt so heavy. As he slowly opened his eyes, he felt a soft, warm hand grasp his. “Owen, you’re okay,” Amelia said gently. He finally managed to pry his eyes open and turn to look at her. “You’re at Seattle Pres. You got into an altercation and you were hurt, but you’re going to be alright. Do you need anything?”

“Water, please,” Owen winced at the scratchy quality of his voice. Amelia stood up from her seat and moved to grab a pitcher and a cup from the side table. As she poured the water, he tried out his voice again. “What happened?”

She sighed as she set the glass of water in front of him. “They said you were at a gas station and saw a kid having an anaphylactic reaction. You pulled out an epi-pen and injected her, and then her dad flipped out. Apparently we was doing some sort of drug deal. He beat the crap out of you. Some other guy at the gas station saw and called 911.”

“How’s the kid?” Owen asked, sitting up as far as he could.

Amelia chuckled at how well she’d predicted his response. Of course his first question wouldn’t be about his own injuries. He was Owen, and he was always more worried about others than himself. “The little girl is fine. The guy tried to take her and run when he realized that someone had called the police, but the police were close by when the call came in, so they found him trying to drive off and got the kid to the hospital. They arrested the dad, too. I stopped by and checked on the kid a little while ago, and she was chowing down on some ice cream while engrossed in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants, so it seems like she’ll be just fine.”

Owen let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good,” he whispered.

Amelia grabbed his hand again and squeezed. “You’re quite a bit more beaten up than she is, though. You have lots of bruises and small cuts, several broken ribs, and you had a subarachnoid hemorrhage that just got repaired.”

Owen smiled at that. “I had brain surgery? Then I’m sure you were a pain in the ass to the whole care team.” He expected her to laugh and teasingly snap back at him, but he was surprised to see a look on her face that he couldn’t read. Whatever it was, it didn’t look good. He was about to ask what she wasn’t telling him, but the way she broke eye contact for just a fraction of a second told him that maybe now wasn’t the best time to ask her about it.

Any further conversation they would’ve had was cut short by a nurse entering in the room. “Oh, Dr. Hunt, it’s so good to see you awake!” she said with a smile. “I’ll go grab Dr. Wallace.” Within moments, all thoughts of Amelia’s odd behavior had left Owen’s mind as he was fully engaged in a neuro exam and questioning Dr. Wallace about what all had happened.

-

“Okay, Dr. Hunt, I think you’re all set to go!” the nurse said as she took the discharge papers from his hands. “Dr. Shepherd said she was bringing her car up from the parking lot. She should be here any moment. Can I get you into this wheelchair?” Owen began to argue, but the nurse cut him off. “You know this is a rule,” she said. “Will you please just get into the wheelchair so we can send you home?” Owen huffed, but did as he was told, choosing to ignore the fact that he’d been on the other end of this conversation many times and knew that it was, in fact, a rule.

When the nurse pushed his wheelchair out the door, Owen found that Amelia was already waiting in the drive-up lane. The nurse helped him out of the chair and into the car, and soon he and Amelia were on their way back to his house. “Amelia, really, you don’t have to stay with me,” he said for about the tenth time since she’d told him she would be coming to stay with him while he recovered.

She rolled her eyes. “You just had brain surgery, Owen. You need someone to look after you while you recover.”

“I know that, but I can find someone else,” he argued.

Amelia chuckled a bit. “Really, you think a neurosurgeon is incapable of looking after a person recovering from brain surgery? I never knew you had concerns about my professional abilities. Perhaps you should take that up with Bailey. Once you’re recovered, of course. I’m sure it might seem a little suspect coming from someone who’d just had his brain cut into.”

Owen blushed deeply. “Amelia, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that I thought you weren’t capable. I just meant that you shouldn’t feel obligated to come stay with me. That’s quite a lot to ask of someone, and you don’t have to do it.”

“Geez,” she scoffed. “Did they cut out your sense of humor when they were digging around in there? I was just messing with you. Lighten up!”

Owen was about to respond, but he thought better of it and closed his mouth. He’d noticed a few little cues in her reactions and behavior over the last few days that had lead him to believe that she might be struggling a bit. It seemed like her defense mechanism at the moment was humor and nonchalance. He thought it was probably best to wait until she was ready to talk about whatever she was feeling right now. This would be the first time they’d talked about such a heavy topic since they’d gotten divorced, and he figured it would be best to wait until she was ready.

When they arrived at Owen’s house, Amelia insisted upon carrying his stuff into the house for him. Once everything was in the house, she commanded him rather forcefully to go sit on the couch while she made dinner. “Amelia, seriously, please let me make dinner,” he argued. “You’ve done everything else. Please just let me do that.”

“You just had brain surgery!” she countered. “You’re supposed to be taking it easy. I’m a neurosurgeon, so my opinion wins on this one.”

“You’re not my neurosurgeon,” he grumbled. Her only response was a raised eyebrow. “And besides,” he continued, “You’ll probably kill us both with your cooking. We both know I’m the far better cook of the two of us.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m making soup from a can, Owen. I don’t think it takes an astounding level of culinary ability to heat up a can of soup on the stove.”

“Fine,” he said as he sat down on the couch, “But if I hear the smoke detector, I’m calling for take-out.” She rolled her eyes, but didn’t verbally respond. Instead, she went into the kitchen and set to work heating up the can of soup and cutting up some fruit.

Throughout the next several weeks, they fell into a routine. As Owen progressed in his recovery, Amelia returned to work, but she requested lighter hours so that she could still be around at the end of the day when his exhaustion started to settle in and he needed a little bit more help. It was a slow process, but he was starting to feel better as time went on. Every time he went in for a check-up, Dr. Wallace was shocked at how quickly Owen had progressed. They had just come back from the latest appointment, and Dr. Wallace had told them that Owen was ready to live on his own now. They had agreed that Amelia would stay the night and then pack up and leave in the morning.

“I’m making dinner tonight,” Owen said decisively as they walked back into the house.

“Owen, really,” she began to argue, but he cut her off.

“No, Amelia. This isn’t open for discussion. You’ve been doing a bunch of stuff for me for the last several weeks. The least I can do is make dinner for you. I’m feeling great. Really. Please let me do this.”

She paused for a moment, but eventually nodded. “Alright, fine,” she said, walking over to sit down on the couch she’d been sleeping on. An hour later, they were talking, laughing, and enjoying some fish that Owen had baked.

The rest of the evening seem to fly by. Before Amelia knew it, she was gathering up all of the assorted items she’d left strewn about Owen’s house so that she could leave early in the morning when she had to head into work. Once she was finished packing, she set her bag by the door and returned to the couch to go to sleep.

When Amelia’s alarm went off the next morning, she rolled off the couch and hustled into the bathroom to change and brush her teeth. She was ready to go and hurrying out the door within 30 minutes. Since she wouldn’t be returning to Owen’s house that evening, she scheduled a fuller day of surgeries and consults. When she finally arrived back at Meredith’s house that evening, she was dead on her feet. She barely had the energy to scarf down a bowl of cereal before retreating to her bedroom. After pulling the bedroom door closed, she opened the bag she’d taken with her to Owen’s house to find a few necessities. She was surprised to see a piece of paper sitting on top of all of her possessions in the bag. She sat down on her bed and turned on her lamp so she could read the note scrawled in Owen’s messy handwriting:

Dear Amelia,

I didn’t know the best way to do this. You’re not my wife anymore, so it isn’t my place to bring up things you don’t want to talk about. Still, I felt that I couldn’t just ignore what I saw. I know these last several weeks have been hard on you. Dr. Wallace told me what happened when you came to the ER at Seattle Pres. I can’t thank you enough for what you did. I quite literally owe you my life, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to do what little I can to repay you for what you did for me. I knew you’d probably get stubborn and argue with me if I said that to you in person, so I wrote it in a note instead. You’re probably shaking your head and rolling your eyes right now. And you’re probably pissed that I knew that you were shaking your head and rolling your eyes. Anyway, thank you. You are an incredible neurosurgeon and an incredible person, and I am lucky to call you my friend.

Beyond all that, I know this must have really hurt for you to go through all of this with me. The similarities between what happened with me and Derek’s accident aren’t lost on me. I am so sorry my injuries brought that all back up again. I’m not your husband anymore, so it’s not right for me to talk to you about this if you don’t want to. If you’re willing, though, I’d love to talk to you and support you through your grief. You have done so much to support me in the last several weeks, and I would like an opportunity to support you. You have my number. Please call any time.

-Owen

Amelia set the note aside so that she wouldn’t stain it with any more tears than she already had. It never ceased to amaze her just how well he could read her. She had thought she’d been doing a great job of hiding her thoughts and feelings since she’d started taking care of him, but apparently he’d simply been too kind to mention anything. And then he’d thought to write it in a note so that she didn’t have to talk to him about it if she didn’t want to. Somehow, this note had been the thing she didn’t know she needed ever since she’d gotten the phone call from Seattle Pres. She changed into her pajamas and slid back into bed to reread the note. She fell asleep that night with the lamp still on and the note still in her hands.

[toomanysurveys9]

Let’s start out blunt, have you had sex in the last 12 hours? i have not.

Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else? i am not. all my own clothes today.

Does anything hurt on you? my lower back. it sucks.

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? noooo.

Do you look at the keyboard when you type? only if i start screwing up, which isn’t TOO often.

Does it bother you when people respond to you with one word?   depends on who and what the conversation is about.

Will you be up before 7:00 a.m. tomorrow? i hope not. especially after getting no sleep last night and i don’t get to take a nap.

Do you like MySpace? not anymore. i used to be super into it.

Do you like glitter? not really. it’s so messy and you can’t ever seem to get rid of it fully.

Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to? no one comes to mind.

Who have you texted in the last 24 hours? my brother, my mom, my grandpa’s girlfriend, jade, erin, jacob, jacob’s mom, kayla, and ashley. wow. that’s more than i usually text in several days. hahaha.

What’s the closest thing to you that’s liquid? probably water.

Are your toe nails painted pink? i don’t paint my toe nails.

Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? i have no intentions on leaving jacob.

Are you excited for Saturday? eh. don’t really have any super exciting plans.

What are you listening to right now? lilli has spongebob on.

What is the most exciting place you have been to this year? our home. :)

The shirt you’re wearing, does anyone else have it? i mean, probably. lol. it’s a pretty basic maternity shirt.

Are you gonna be home tonight? not sure what we are doing yet.

Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you? yeah. i’m socially awkward.

Are you easily scared at horror films? lately, yes.

If there was a large spider in the room, what would you say? i would probably run out initially and yell for someone to go get it.

Do you have good memories with old friends? well, yes.

How are you feeling right now? i’m mostly good. just pretty tired.

Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? not because i was tired, no.

How many friends do you have that have never smoked? i’m honestly not sure that i have any.

Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don’t talk to anymore? yeah. it’s kind of sad.

Are you missing someone? i am actually.

Did you have a dream last night? i did and i don’t want to think about it. wyatt was seriously hurt in it and i woke up in tears until i looked beside me and saw him sleeping, perfectly okay.

Is it okay if you kiss people when you’re single? long as they are also single.

Who did you last talk to on the phone? jade.

Have you held hands with anyone today? wyatt.

Do you drop your phone a lot? not a lot, no.

Your last ex says they never even liked you. You say? that’s fine?

When was the last time you saw your father? last night. he went with us to some sports store to get wheel bearings for jacob’s skateboard, and then we got dinner at hacienda. i didn’t see him really once we got home after that.

Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? yeah. there definitely is.

Would you say you’re an understanding person? for the most part, yes.

How is your life currently? pretty good. a little tiring some days, but i wouldn’t trade it for the world.

What are you doing tomorrow morning? no plans in the morning.

Do you want to see somebody right now? i don’t really care right this second.

How many people have you liked in the past 8 months? just jacob.

Have you ever done anything illegal? speeding. and i did participate in some underage drinking.

Would you rather spend a whole day with your mom or your dad? probably my mom. i feel like i never know what to talk about with my dad so i talk too much about nothing.

Who were the last two people you texted? jon and my mom.

What’s currently bothering you? i am just so tired.

Have you thought about an ex today? just when a question was asked about them. it was very, very brief.

Are any of your friends taller than you? most of them are.

Did you do anything productive today? paid a couple bills.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? eh, probably not to be honest.

Today, did you hug a person you have feelings for? nope.

Do you wish at 11:11? i do not.

Are you currently in a relationship? i sure am. been together over ten years.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? of course they can be.

Think of the last person who said “I love you” to you. Do you think they meant it? that would be wyatt. i’m going to say he loves me, whether he fully understands or not. i’m his mommy, and one of his most favorite people.

Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? yeah. i’m pretty sure i have.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? yeah. my son. my husband. my dad. brother. grandpas.

If you could move somewhere else, would you? i would love to get out of indiana some day.

Has a boy/girl called you babe or baby today? nope.

How long were you with your last boyfriend? before jacob? like a week.

Would you ever let a girl/boy put you through hell and back? i mean. jake kind of has. so i guess so.

Have you ever gone out with anyone older than you? richard was two years older.

Do you think you will ever be married? i am married.

Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? ohhhh yes.

Is it possible to be single and happy? well, yeah. i know plenty of people who are.

Last time you wore something that didn’t belong to you? i don’t remember for sure.

Has anything happened in the past month that made you really happy? i got a surprise ultrasound of ellie.

What’s something you’ve always wanted to say to your ex? nothing.

How much money did you spend today? i paid two bills so $446.59... my student loan is almost $300 a month.

Are you a rude person? not usually. but i can be occasionally.

Would you ever think about painting your ceiling your favorite color? not just the ceiling, no.

What’s something you’re excited for? bedtime tonight. ellie being born eventually.

Does cuddling freak you out? no. but i don’t always like to cuddle.

What do you think of maxi dresses? i don’t really wear dresses.

What did the last text in your inbox say? From who? i don’t feel like looking.

What would you do if you saw a guy hit a girl? call the cops probably.

Have you ever gambled? i’ve been to a casino, so yeah.

Do you use tobacco products? no. i do not.

Would you ever go a week without showering? i’ve gotten pretty close. ew.

Would you ever date someone with a different skin color than you? i mean, if i were single and into them, sure.

[reallyhardy]

ok, i gotta get it all down before i forget (but could i really ever???) so here is an extremely long, very spoiler-iffic

loren’s spongebob-musical-sperience

i attended the 8pm performance on friday, 24th nov and it was....

AMAZING!!!

i have never ever had such a wonderful time at a theatre. so first off i was on the front row mezzanine toward the left with my bestie and my sister, so we were at a really, really good vantage point. we...we very very enthusiastic, possibly verging on obnoxious...but being so close to that barrier...well. we were basically hanging right over.

i’m just gonna go through the numbers. obviously i have seen the chi boot so i was comparing what i could to what i’ve seen. if you’ve seen the thanksgiving performance it was mostly that beyond what we’re familiar with with spongebob going through and meeting all his friends around town, and like. oh man, that new newsies choreography was AH-MAZING! it was all so funny, ethan’s little spongebob walk and the way danny sort of...rolled into his appearance when he gets introduced. then of course there’s the new krusty krab set which was SO nice (and gets even cooler later!) but there was a scene with squidward and spongebob getting a lot more into that dynamic from the cartoon, and this hilarious little bit where SB puts his hand down on the stove and then, when he notices that it’s burning...he flips it over so he can cook that hand nice and even on both sides. and there’s a part where he hangs his spatula on squidward’s finger while he sings a new and improved and even more emotional ‘please be proud of me dad mr krabs’ part.

so the order was different from chicago because it goes bikini bottom day -> no control -> B.F.F. whereas the previous order was B.F.F. before no control. no control isn’t a fave of mine but it was VERY fun to watch and ethan did extra little contorty gymnasticy bits along with his split :’) but at the end... so the crowd screaming melts away leaving patrick screaming in the middle in his house before SB finds him -- that was absolutely hysterical. danny had a lot more opportunities to shine as a comedian, so many more jokes for patrick and he was so, so, soooo funny. but anyways - B.F.F. was very lovely - though i noticed no best friend handshake this time around as i’d seen from the rehearsal footage. the new painted cardboard letters were so fun and cute looking and it was just a really fun number - plus ethan and danny’s harmonies at the hand were so lovely!!!

then there’s a bit more of everyone freaking out before we get to going get tough which was!!! mind boggling!!! i did not think at first that wesley could rap because the first verse started and seemed quite slow, and it sounded particularly empty without karen’s beatboxing. but then. oh BOY. it suddenly became amazing. first, he did a big ol’ dance break with the plankton puppet attached to his shoe and a little spotlight on him to make you focus on watching him dance and then-- and THEN. OH. MY GOSH. THE SUPER FAST RAP VERSE. ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDING. my sis, pal and i were losing. our. minds up there. it absolutely blew us away. i need to just say that wesley is absolutely fantastic as plankton, and clearly love love loves getting to play him. his voice is almost a dead ringer for mister lawrence and his whole manner is just. hilarious. absolutely brilliant.

okay! the next number is simple sponge! i didnt notice any lyric changes but i did think it was absolutely hysterical the way krabs slowly backed up while quietly echoing ‘simple sponge, simple sponge’ - too funny. he stood at the back on the higher balcony in front of the neon krusty krab sign and really hammed it up for the ‘you are still a simple sponge’ parts. and the neon sponge dance, oh my lordy!!! it looked so so SO good live! they adjusted the shape for gary so he is more obviously a snail. and they did a little belt around SB’s waist at the ‘own dojo’ line. and boY!!! that ethan slater!!! absolutely slaying!!! he didn’t go for the super super high note but what he did do was still awesome and super powerful. love love love that boy. plus, he kept up using it as a way of pepping himself up, so on his way to different locations he was chanting ‘i am not a simple sponge’ to himself.

okay, next up was daddy knows best. so, by now we probably all know that jai’len absolutely SLAYS as pearl. honestly, the whole audience was completely losing it every single time that girl opened her mouth. she was utterly, utterly PHENOMENAL. i never heard a voice like that!!! but okay so first SB comes up to the krab trying to tell everyone that they don’t have to leave town because he’s got a plan. krabs is busy packing and pearl is trying to decide what to wear to the benefit concert. she brings out two pink prom style dresses, a long and a short, but krabs tells her she’s not going (this is an interesting dynamic to them that i prefer from the chicago - it seems less like krabs is uncaring and disinterested in pearl and more like he’s an overprotective dad - still well meaning despite his blunders. i also noticed he did not say ‘yeah’ when pearl asks ‘is money more important than me?’ in act 2 which made me feel a bit better.) ANYWAY. spongebob takes the dresses and slips the shorter one’s hanger over his head so it looks like he’s wearing it and it is adorable. then when the song is going on, krabs instructs SB to cover his eyes (and he does so, for the rest of the number) while krabs cracks open all the doors and set pieces and to reveal all of where he’s hidden his money, so it’s all this seriously shiny gold coinage and it’s absolutely brilliant!!! i did notice that this time around pearl did not do any overdramatic sobbing, which was a little disappointing, but her amazing amazing singing made up for the little lack of comedy. then it got SAD because pearl sits own on the corner of the stage, genuinely upset, but there’s a very sweet moment where SB sits down with her and tries to comfort her a little bit. it. was. precious, and made me think of all the times SB helps pearl out in the cartoon because. he’s the best big(little) brother ever.

and then... HERO IS MY MIDDLE NAME! oh boy. okay. so, when sandy’s running from the mob, holy heck. the theme there on racist commentary is...oh. my god. every time this was brought up i could not stop crying. so sandy walks into the centre of the stage and on the right, a couple fish spray paint the words ‘LAND MAMMAL GO HOME’ and!! god!!! it was absolutely heartbreaking, lilli’s acting at this point had me full of tears. she said in this quiet voice -- i thought this was my home and MAN. SO SAD. then it goes into the song and...patrick did not carry spongebob in this time around, so, bummer, and i noticed there’s a lot less physical interaction between the team of tres than before - spongebob doesn’t extend his hand to sandy and sandy knocks out a bunch of plus squirrels in cowboy hats instead of striking pat and SB - both are pretty dang funny though so its all good. during this performance sandy did not sing the new verse heard at the playbill preview event, so i was a lil disappointed in that too, but all the fun little moves and dances were still really good - and the team of tres high-five handshake from bikini bottom day happened again, except this time with sandy in the middle. would have been cool if they full circled it at some point with patrick in the middle, but it ain’t no big thang. anyway - hero is my favourite song and it was so fun to hear live -- again the harmonies were absolutely fantastic!!! PLUS. SO SO BADASS, and this made me cry too -- patrick and spongebob hold up the board that ‘mammal go home’ had been sprayed on, and sandy kicks it to break it in half, they cheer, and then the boys toss the board away. SO. GOOD.

and now! SUPER SEA STAR SAVIOUR! this one was AH-MAZING. the new costumes for the sardine followers are absolutely gorgeous and i massively prefer them, and the new choregoraphy. wow wow WOW. okay. so they added this dance break to it where they all bust out tambourines and patrick does a hamboning thing with the tambouring like in the first movie. i did not expect at all that this would be a thing because in chi during dance numbers danny was typically at the back but here!!! WOW!!! he has clearly improved so much as a performer and this lil tambourine dance was SO GOOD. and then of course his singing was amazing, he was nailing those high notes, and and and!!! he did this funny little thing where he blessed all the sardines by sort of karate chopping their heads a lil bit, and the whole thing was. so phenomenal.

then of course there’s the breakup scene, where they acted a bit... spongebob did not seem as much hurt and sad as hurt and angry, and they insulted each other a bit first - ‘at least i dont live in a fruit!’ ‘at least im not pink!’ (hysterical) before they go fine, fine, fine! and then...well. then spongebob gets sadder, and he sits right down in ‘defeat corner’ much like pearl did earlier after daddy knows best. then it goes into tomorrow is, which was absolutely as beautiful as i’d hoped -- lilli and ethan’s voices together are my absolute favourites and!!! it got so very emotional. again i noticed that krabs sticks very close to pearl in a protective way here, although i was again a lil disappointed that plankton and karen don’t emerge very obviously post-coitus... they still dont seem to have quite reached that point this time around. THEN ANYWAY INTERMISSION TIME.

this was where i freaked out a little, talked to a friend, wiped my tears, freaked out a little more, and then by the time i was done talking and freaking, patchy had hurried back onto stage.

so it seems jon rua cannot play the accordion, but they got around this by having him have written some sheet music he’d come up with on a piece of very piratey parchment, which was passed along down the on-stage band who pretty much just passed it along with no regard. nothing was really different about the poor pirates number beyond patchy not having the accordion, it was still very fun but over quickly enough that we could get back to the action.

then its bikini bottom day reprise which is much like in chicago, except allan k. washington now plays gary, so he sat off a little ways to the side on stage to do the meows whilst visible on stage. i have no strong feelings on this - i think its kinda fun i guess!

BIKINI BOTTOM BOOGIE WAS FANTASTIC. i never loved it that much as a song on its own and didnt enjoy it that much in the chi boot - i liked it a bit more on the cast album but HOLY HECK. ON STAGE. so of course pearl is singing along and that gives jai’len another change to shine shine shine, and holy HECK. okay. there is a part where kyle matthew hamilton does a skating trick on TWO SKATEBOARDS. STACKED ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. again -- i freakin lost my mind!!! it was unbelievable!!!

chop to the top was pretty similar to chi, a couple of lyric changes but they did much the same stuff - it seemed a bit slicker and all put together better than in chi, and there were a couple more projections to give the boxes more of a lava-y effect. the harmonies between ethan and lilli again -- absolutely a m a z i n g.

now we get to another part that made me very emotional but i held in my tears this time. it leads in with patrick and the sardines but this time around they make it more obvious that he’s thinking about spongebob when he recounts the memories of his stretchy couch, because he says ‘spongebob and i this, spongebob and i that...’ and when they ask him what more do you need he repeats it in this hearbreaking little way. yeah. what more do i need? before he goes into the song. its just as emotional as on the album, but on stage ethan and lilli do a little bit more miming that they’re climbing the mountain while danny’s singing. then there’s no dailogue lead into spongebob’s verse, he just goes into it. there’s something about danny’s face when he sings this song, he just looked like his heart was breaking. he’s so, so good. the emotion breaks just a little at the end - sandy sounds a bit more impatient than before when she says ‘come on spongebob, this mountain won’t climb itself’ and SB goes ‘unless--’ ‘no it WON’T, spongebob!’ so i ended up giggling there in a bit i didnt before. not a bad thing, but i did kind of want to cry during that number all the same.

anyway. THEN WE GO INTO THE SHOWSTOPPER. NOT A LOSER. it looked pretty much the same as in chi BUT. SO SO SO AMAZING TO SEE LIVE. nothing to really say except that it was utterly perfect, and so, so so very very sparkly and beautiful. and the audience applauded for AGES. gavin just stood there holding that final post as we cheered and cheered and cheered. so so so amazing!!!

then its back to spongebob and sandy on the mountain. they added a little thing for plankton and karen where they use an ‘avalanche maker’ which makes them the reason spongebob gets knocked out on the mountain, and. oh, holy goodness, okay, here we go. before i get to the reunion, let’s spin back to plankton and karen. who...so ppl have probably already talked about this but. big guy. big guy. he gets her to call him big guy, moans every time, and then they have this BIG DAMN MAKE-OUT. there’s this bright, glittery projection of hearts and sparkles as they do so, and it’s just. oh my god. losing my mind yet again. SO much cheering from the audience.

right, and back to the mountain. the audience reaction to patrick flying down on the jetpack. glorious. we were all loving it. and then the reunion, oh my gosh! very very heartfelt, they changed the dialogue so the boys say a lot more emotional and genuine stuff to each other before they hug (though it was quite a brief hug) (and they did not do the ‘we are back’ dance, they just did the ‘best friends’ dance which i dont think was quite as funny but okay.) then...then we have the final part with the volcano. it was especially funny here because both ethan and lilli did cartwheels, and then danny lifted his arms like he was going to do one too...and then just kept on running. brill. then spongebob climbs the mountain and my sis and pal were all holding each other in fear because at one point it really felt like ethan might fall. obviously he had his harness but still. TERROR. then when he threw the interruptor. BLINDING! but awesome.

okay. hurrying along to the best day ever. i started crying right during the speech and continued to weep on and off ‘til the end at this point. i noticed perhaps due to tiredness or maybe real feeling but ethan kind of dropped out of the spongebob voice and delivered the really powerful speech in a voice more like his own which....ahhh. it had me weeping. plus, sandy took on a little bit of the speech at the start, and i just love the demonstration of spongebob and sandy’s strong loyalty to each other in both songs, dialogue and action. anyway. then of course the song starts and i absolutely adore how they staged it -- spongebob has a little interaction with almost every character and a lot of the time tailored to who they are -- so he joins in with a sardine’s hand motion, obviously shakes the mayor’s hand very officiously, and brings a lot of the characters together before they all join hands -- and SB was stood between pat and sandy when i saw it, which i like better than when he was between sandy and the mayor because...agh!!! what if that was it for them!? the whole thing of the best day ever absolutely has me bawling almost every time i listen to it, because they all come together to be joyful one last time before they thing they could all just...die.

god, i wish there was a way i could re-live the end when they all celebrate though, because i could not take in everything. i noticed that pearl and krabs hug, and sandy and SB hug each other before patrick runs in to join them. and. OKAY. SO THE RACISM THING COMES BACK AGAIN HERE AND. BY JOVE.

so the whole time, it’s been jenkins that lead the charge against sandy, which is horribly fitting as he represents...every old white man running the world right now, so how important and monumental that he is also the one to tell her you saved us. but then...god... they ask what happens now and sandy says -- i guess i’m leaving. and jenkins asks her to please stay, reminds her that in their town everyone should be welcome. and she says--

she says-- i don’t know if i can trust you, these people, anymore.

cue TEARS. i was absolutely sobbing here. i mean, you’d think, right? in spongebob, it’d be easy. she’d just be like ‘okay, you’ve convinced me’, but she didn’t. it was such a raw and real moment and lilli absolutely killed it. SO emotional. and then ethan steps up and, again, in not such a spongebobby voice, in a much more mature tone, he begs her to give the town another chance, and the whole time he’s been reminding her that she never deserved it but he understands if she wants to go -- he tries one last time and the town comes together ‘til sandy agrees to stay.

then or course, the town makes their own band. this was SO lovely because sandy takes the second line instead of krabs, and all the instruments were painted and decorated to be super bright colourful, it was so gloriously chaotic and wonderful. then of course the theme song!!! me and my squad screamed out lungs out and waved and cheered like crazy and ethan totally caught our eye!!! big, blessed moment.

at the stage door...almost every cast member we spoke to was like ‘i saw you three up on the mezzanine!’ stephanie hsu was very VERY lovely and me and hailey spoke to her about the art we gave her, she told us it made her so happy which made us so happy, we talked to oneika phillips about her cool hair and her very cool wig and makeup, lauralyn mclelland noticed my blue eyebrows that matched hers, and kelvin moon loh. oh my god. he gave me a little 20 cent wahlgreens print he’d made of a fanart i’d done for him that he’d set as his twitter and facebook pics -- he said he’d made copies for his family, signed them all...then went back inside to his dressing room to get me one.

i managed to give some badges and fridge magnets i made to lilli, danny (i slightly brushed his hand with mine and!!! got embarassed but he was sooooo lovely) (on his way out he held the starfish magnet up for me to see like yeeeah!) and also to ethan, who came out last when a lot of the crowd has dispersed, so he was the only cast member we snagged a pic with.

but the real highlight!? TINA. FREAKING. LANDAU. was also there. she was just stood behind me in the crowd looking out for ethan to make sure he got through okay. i got a bit giddy and emotional trying to tell her how much the show meant to me, and we shook hands but...it was no simple handshake, no. she took my hand in both of hers and gosh!!! i’ve never felt more blessed.

it was honestly. the best, best, best day ever. i left with a t-shirt and a streamer worn as a scarf and a stack of rescued playbills, and everything was absolutely wonderful.

[mikepemulis]

Secret Santa

Hey @beaniejared!!! Merry Christmas! I’m your secret santa for @dearevanhansensecretsanta! Here’s some Connor/Jared theatre fluff for the soul. <3

In Kleinsphy We Don’t Say I Love You We Say Fuck You And I Think That’s Beautiful

2204 Words, Rated T for inane amounts of swearing

Connor groaned loudly. The prickly school carpeting was making his back numb, and the lack of sleep inherent to tech week made his entire body feel like he was pumping cough syrup instead of blood.

The bright, fluorescent lights of the booth boring into his brain were not helping.

“Jared!” He whined, covering his eyes with his hoodie. “It’s two in the fucking morning. When are we going to leave?”

Jared didn’t look up from his equipment. “You had the chance to get a ride home with Zoe, Evan, and Alana two hours ago,” He said.

Connor rolled his eyes. “I didn’t know you would be staying so late. I thought if Alana Beck, our ever diligent stage manager, was leaving then you wouldn’t be far behind. You’re generally known as a slacker -”

“You can’t see right now but I am flipping you off -”

“Besides, I would rather be trapped here until dawn than in sitting next to Evan in the backseat of my sister’s car while she and Alana suck face. Yannow, I think he’s still scared of me.”

“He’s not scared of you, he’s just skittish. Like a fucking… chipmunk or something. A sweaty chipmunk.”

Connor snorted.

“And,” Jared continued. “For your information, I can be very diligent. I only slack off on things I don’t care about. Programming the lighting board takes time and patience. Something you actors wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh blow me, Kleinman.”

“Maybe later. Right now I’m working.”

“I’m not even an actor, you know,” Connor said. “I’m not talented. I’m just one of like… five guys who tried out. And like… making me the sadistic dentist? That’s just blatant typecasting.”

“Shut up, Connor. You and I both know that you’re good at this.”

Connor sat up and smirked.

“What was that?”

“Fuck off.”

“Was… was that… was that a compliment?”

“I hate you.”

“From Jared Kleinman?”

“Why are you like this?”

“Did the Amazing Asshole Jared Kleinman just give me a compliment?”

Connor had slowly made his way over to Jared’s chair, until he was right in his face.

“You’re the worst, you know that?” Jared said, a fond smile ghosting over his lips.

Connor shrugged. He was half expecting Jared to lean forward and kiss him, with their faces being so close together, but he instead turned back to his computer with a soft hum.

Connor glanced at the screen. It was full of codes and colors and buttons that he didn’t understand, but he could glean that Jared would not be done for awhile.

He jumped on the the counter next to Jared’s workstation, resting his legs on one of the many plush chairs that occupied the space.

“You aren’t supposed to be up there,” Jared said.

“Mkay, but consider this, I don’t give a fuck.”

Jared rolled his eyes absentmindedly, but didn’t press the issue any further.

“Ya know,” Connor said after ten minutes of insufferable silence. Connor hated silence. And stillness. He’d had ADHD when he was younger. Sometimes he thought he still had it, but his dad had said he’d “grown out of it” and that “adults don’t have ADHD.” “I used to get really high up here sophomore year.”

“Oh, Jesus, that was you?”

Connor shrugged. “Not just me. Charlie Davis and Alan P. were there too.”

“Alan P.? Dana P.’s older brother?”

“Yeah. He was a senior when we were sophomores.”

“There’s no way he was a stoner. He’s going to like… an Ivy League school.”

“So? Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive. But yeah. Alan P. is a major pothead. He was my first kiss, too.”

“Were you guys high?”

“As a kite.”

“Kinky.”

“Fuck off.”

“What’s that even like?”

“Getting high?”

“Kissing while high. Or getting high. I dunno. Both?”

“Getting high is like… I dunno. It just chills me out. It makes Big Bang Theory watchable, if that helps. And kissing while high is… it depends. Kissing Alan while high was whatever. Cause I didn’t really have a crush on him, it just sort of happened? So it was like… ‘whoa you taste like weed but also have a mouth, that’s fun.’ I dunno what kissing someone I really liked high would be like.”

Jared nodded noncommittally. “So you really didn’t like Alan P.?”

“No? Why?” Connor raised an eyebrow. “Holy shit are you jealous?”

Jared blushed slightly. “No. Fuck you.”

Connor cackled. “Don’t worry, Jared. You’re the only boy I want to kiss. High or otherwise.”

“Connor, that’s gay,” Jared said, a smile pulling at his lips.

“cONor thAT’S gAy,” Connor mocked, doing his best impression of the Spongebob Parrot meme.

Jared laughed softly. Connor loved Jared’s laugh. It wasn’t a particularly melodic or dulcet laugh, it was kind of cackley, and to the untrained ear it would sound mocking, but it was perfect for Jared. It was rough around the edges, kind of disarming at first, but also gleeful and unapologetic. Jared was different and odd and unexpected and Connor thought he was perfect. Jared went back to his programming. Different combinations would light up the stage, and Connor could barely tell the difference between most of them, but Jared would shake his head and change something minute twelve hundred times before he actually inputted a queue. Connor admired the laser focus that Jared had. The only thing Connor could do for a continuous amount of time was read. He also liked to dance or play video games, but neither of those things were still. Connor had to be really high to sit in stillness. Jared seemed to relish in the monotony of inputting codes and tweaking HTML.

Connor abruptly jumped off of the counter, landing less than gracefully. Jared jumped at bit at the sudden movement.

“What the fuck?”

“I need your keys.”

“My… keys?”

“Yes. Your keys.”

“Uh…”

“I’m not going to abandon you at the school, Kleinman. Just fucking trust me.”

Jared let out a beleaguered sigh, but reached into his backpack and tossed Connor his keys. They were attached to a first generation Pokemon lanyard. It was adorable.

“Cool. I’ll be back in like twenty minutes.” Connor started for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Sucking dick for meth!” Connor called as he walked down the hallway to the stairs.

“Bring me some back!”

Connor chuckled. Jared was such a dork.

He walked down the stairs, then left the janitor’s closet that held the passageway to the booth, and exited the school, the brisk night air chilling him to the bone. He left one of the many blocks of wood that littered the floor of the scene shop in the door so that he could get back in.

Jared’s car was a cherry red monstrosity that had over a hundred thousand miles on it and a steering wheel that was held together by duct tape. It could only play cassettes and didn’t get FM radio. Connor absolutely loved it.

He opened the passenger seat door, and was washed over by the smell of dirty laundry, fast food, and Jared. He sat on the cracked leather seat, putting the key in the ignition and stepping on the break. Connor loved driving. His parents took away his car after his last suicide attempt, which, okay, was fair, but it still sucked. It was a weird dichotomy, understanding the measures his parents took to ensure his safety but at the same time being angry and stifled by their constant worry and restrictions.

He flipped on the radio, turning on NPR. His and Jared’s favorite radio show was on. Coast to Coast. It was a conspiracy show that talked about everything from aliens to bigfoot to demonic black eyed children that haunted people until they went insane. It was great. Connor and Jared would stay up until dawn listening to the broadcast in their respective rooms, texting each other back and forth. Gregg Noory was talking about some sort of miniature black hole that scientists were working creating on which had the possibility to destroy the entire world. Driving down a road in the dead of night listening to him talk made the hairs on Connor’s arms stand up. It was exhilarating.

He swerved in to the nearly empty convenience store parking lot. The fluorescent lights illuminated the air around the store like an edgy CW drama. Not that Connor watched edgy CW dramas. He just happened to sometimes be in the room when Zoe was watching them.

He entered the store and grabbed a basket, then headed towards the freezer section. Connor grabbed a carton of rocky road and threw it in. He turned to open the doors again but realized something that felt earth shattering.

He had no fucking clue what kind of ice cream Jared liked.

He couldn’t just text him and ask him, that would ruin the whole romantic shtick. But he couldn’t get the wrong kind of ice cream. Connor came from a family that took ice cream very seriously. One wrong distinction between chocolate and rainbow sprinkles could be the difference between civility and throwing around microwaves. (Connor liked rainbow sprinkles because he was gay and awesome, and Zoe liked chocolate ones because she was a dweeb.)

Connor pulled out his phone and shot a quick text.

To: Hansen

what kind of ice cream does jared like

To: Connor Murphy

What? Why? It’s three am?

To: Hansen

i know what fucking time it is asshole what kind of ice cream does jared like

To: Connor Murphy

Why are you awake? You should be asleep, Connor.

To: Connor Murphy

And cherry garcia.

To: Hansen

pot. kettle. black.

To: Hansen

also, cherry garcia?? fuckin weirdo

Connor grabbed the cherry garcia and dropped it in the basket nonetheless. He also picked up a package of plastic spoons and two water bottles. A suspiciously red-eyed twenty something checked him out and Connor drove back to the high school, not taking notice of the speed limits because it was three in the morning and he had ice cream in the car.

He entered the school, jogged up the stairs, and dramatically kicked open the door to the booth. Jared was still in front of the computer, ever so slightly adjusting shades of pink.

“I’m fighting against every fiber of my being not to make a ‘honey, I’m home,’ joke right now,” Connor said, setting his bounty down on the counter.

Jared turned towards him. “What did you get?”

Connor pulled out the ice cream, flashing a smile.

“Connor, we aren’t allowed to have food up here.”

“I’m pretty sure we also aren’t allowed to be here past midnight so…”

Jared furrowed his brow. Connor smiled wider and handed him the pint of ice cream and a plastic spoon.

Jared opened his mouth to protest, but Connor cut him off.

“Stop being such an Alana and eat the ice cream, Kleinman.”

“Wow. Rude.” But Jared pulled the top off of the carton and tried to pull out a giant scoop, breaking his spoon in the process.

Connor handed him another spoon.

“Fuck off,” Jared muttered.

Connor grinned. “I didn’t say anything.” He opened his own ice cream and dipped his spoon in.

Jared paused, turned back to his computer and grabbed his phone. A song Connor recognized as being from Next To Normal started blaring from the speakers meant for the God Mic.

Connor smiled, and in a moment of bravery, leaned over and pecked Jared on the lips. Even though they’d been dating for a few months, they were shy around affection, both expecting the other to reveal that the whole relationship had been a prank or a lie.

Jared’s face went red, splitting in to a wide grin.

The ate their ice cream in relative silence, occasionally cracking jokes or singing along to Jared’s musical playlist. At one point, Connor put down his spoon and did an entire dance routine in the cramped booth.

“How the fuck have you memorized the entire dance to King Of New York?” Jared asked, incredulous.

Connor shrugged. “I might have a small crush on Ben Cook…”

“Don’t we all.” Jared looked up in fake wistfulness, then looked back at Connor. “So, Newsies is a favorite of yours then?”

“Oh, God no.”

Jared stared at him, offended. “Okay then, Mr. Judgy. What do you like?”

“Off the top of my head? Fantasticks, Apple Tree, and Hair.”

“Oh my god, what are you, seventy?”

“Oh go blow Steven Schwartz, asshole.”

“How can you not recognize that we are in a new golden age of musical theatre?!”

“Okay then, what do you like?”

“Next To Normal, Spring Awakening, and Cats.”

“Cats?!”

“Okay listen -”

“I cannot believe I’m in love with someone who likes Cats!”

“Cats is - wait. In… In love?”

Connor stopped dead. The late night and the free flowing banter and the being alone with Jared has loosened his tongue, and he’d ruined everything.

“I mean… I just… no! Fuck! Of course not, I’m just… I meant to say… I… fuck you!”

“Connor.”

Connor stared at his hands, trying not to freak out.

“Connor!”

His head snapped up, and he looked at Jared.

“I… I love you too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Cool.”

“Very cool.”

“Insanely cool.”

“Fuck off, Kleinman.”

[jwnchstr]

WONDERS // supernatural

CHARACTERS: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, reader!cousin Winchester

WARNINGS: None.

WORD COUNT: 1, 519 (according to Wattpad)

SUMMARY: You just lost your four-year-old son and you were devastated. So Dean decided to take you on a trip (holiday in the context).

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is based on The Script’s song Wonders. It’s from their new album called Freedom Child that was released earlier this month. Click here for lyrics video, and here for lyrics only.

It was daylight, but you didn’t care what time it was as you stared at the floor emptily. Your arms wrapped around your knees that you brought close to your chest. You are physically there, but your mind was not. It was somewhere in the memories of yours with your, dead four-year-old son. It was happening too fast, that those fours years and all those memories you both made, weren’t enough.

One of your older cousins, Dean Winchester was in the same room with you. He was sitting across from you on another couch, watching you not moving in your seat. He watched you with sympathy because he understands the feeling of losing someone. He also watched you in anger because he hates to see you lifeless even though you are, practically, not. He watched until he saw one drop of tear rolled down your cheek, that you didn’t notice.

“That’s it!” he suddenly spoke, causing you to jump on your seat. He snapped you away from your own world, and you looked up to see him standing opposite you, towering you. He looked really angry, but you didn’t feel guilty at all.

“We’re going out,” he said, looking at you with creased on his forehead. Well, it’s Dean. He always had that creased forehead and straight face. You’re used to seeing him being serious that the time when he smiles and laughs, it looks bizarre.

“Oh,” you said in your head, relieved because you thought he wanted to be angry at you again. Before this, he threw everything at you, like it’s your fault to feel sad after losing your son.

“Okay,” you said this aloud that it reached his ears. You didn’t think that he meant you along, so you weren’t asking questions.

You continued sitting in your seat, finding back the memory where you stopped imagining with your son before Dean interrupted you. This attitude of yours worried Sam and Dean so much because they were afraid that you were going to go insane. Seeing you being submitted to the psychotic hospital is not their plan.

Dean stood there, staring at you in confusion. “(Y/n), didn’t you hear me? We’re going out.”

“And I said, okay,” you answered him.

“I mean, three of us, you idiot. Including you.”

This time, you turned to him with a shock. Your wet eyes shone like that crystal silhouette on the pool. There were still tears at the brim of your eyes, but as you blinked, they slowly dried. “What?”

“You heard me,” Dean said. “Go pack your bags; we’re going on a holiday.”

“A holiday?” you asked in confusion, really chuckling at his idea of going on a holiday. “Since when you’re up to holidays?”

Because trip is too mainstream. Dean wanted to answer that, but he didn’t knowing you’re not in your best mood; and he wasn’t either. He was still in his serious mode seeing you hurt like this.

Dean stared at you with the question you enquired him. But you didn’t understand what he wanted to tell you through the look. Your mind was zero. If you watched Spongebob Squarepants, the episode where Squidward asked him to empty his mind and he, literally, emptied his mind...well, your mind was kind of like that.

After awhile, looking at how dumb and blur you are, Dean finally sighed, scratched the back of his neck and took a seat in front of you. He felt it hard to talk to you without getting any response from you nowadays. At this moment, you didn’t know, that Sam came approaching you two. But he stopped at the door, leaning his side against it and watched his big brother giving you some advise.

“(Y/n),” he called as he looked you in the eyes. But your were so blur that you didn’t expect what he wanted to say to you. “These pass few weeks have been so rough with you, I know, I understand. Daniel wasn’t your one and only son, but he’s also me and Sam’s sunshine. We love him just as much as you do. But, how about we forget him for awhile? A week doesn’t hurt, right?”

Dean saw how your eyes began to water again. It broke him. He could feel his heart broken into two. You looked away as if to hide from him that you’re crying. You shook your head as you sniffled and wiped your eyes.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Dean was still trying to win your agreement. “Look, Sam and I love you so much. You’re more than just a cousin to us. After we’ve been through together, you’re our sister. We can’t see you like this, (y/n). It hurts us, you know.”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” Dean questioned. He wanted to yell at you, to wake you up from your dreams, but he didn’t dare.

“He’s right, (y/n),” Sam agreed with his big brother, walking into the room with his arms crossed on his chest when you didn’t answer Dean’s question. You both turned to him, didn’t expect him to be home this early because he said he was out to meet his old friend from college.

Sam sighed as he took a seat on the low coffee table beside you. “Let’s do the things we never done,” Sam spoke, in which didn’t surprise you or Dean at all because he was known to a little bit of a rebellious kid. “What you wanted to do? Where do you want to go? Rome? China? You want to climb a mountain?” Sam smiled. “Or you want to head to Vegas?”

“None,” you answered softly, under your breath as you played with your fingers. But what you told them was not entirely the truth. Sometimes, you do feel like going out to see the world, to forget about your problems for a moment, but the thought of forgetting your son makes you think you’re betraying him. That’s why you refused to leave the little town.

Dean chuckled sarcastically. “You can’t say that.”

“Why?” You gave Dean your puppy dog face.

“Because that’s not you!” he exclaimed. “(Y/n) that I know is up to every adventure her cousins come up with even though they’re stupid. She won’t say no even though it’s risky and dangerous. Even though she knows she’d get beat up with wild animals.”

“Well, I guess (y/n) that you know is not here anymore.”

“No-”

“Before it’s our turn to be six foot under, why not we see the eight world wonders?” Dean was still persuading you. “Like Sam says, we do the things we never done. You must have your bucket lists, right?”

You nodded your head.

“So let’s do them. Let you mark them on your bucket list.”

“Yeah, but...” You glanced at the brothers. “I don’t want to leave Daniel. I don’t want to forget him.”

“We’re not forgetting him forever, (y/n). Just for a moment,” Sam said. “We’ll get on that airplane, go somewhere. Let’s be little kids once more, laughing like we’re on the playground.”

“You know what, (y/n), if you don’t want to move, I’ll drag you. I will seriously drag you out,” Dean said seeing you still not giving the response he wanted. “I don’t want to go through gates of heaven thinking what might have missed. Sure, Daniel might miss travelling with us, but he’s four years old and already in Heaven.”

“And we know you’re not scared of taking risks, (y/n), so how about now we pack and leave for awhile?” Sam added.

“Are you sure you want to go, Dean?” You looked at Dean skeptically. “I thought you’re scared of flying.”

“For you, I would do anything,” Dean answered though he was not entirely honest. He tried to hide his panic expression. Even though you didn’t see it (you used to see it, but now, your mind is clouded with the thought of your son), Sam sees it and he tried his best to hide his sarcastic smile.

You sighed, seeing how right your cousins were. “Okay,” you said. “I’ll go pack.”

And you stood up, slowly leaving the brothers to your room to pack and to take a shower. It’s not like you haven’t showered in days, but you haven’t showered today because you know you are not going anywhere --- and there’s no reason to. While you go settle with yourself, Sam and Dean had a little argument downstairs.

“Dude, what if she really wants to go to Rome? Or China? Or those places you mentioned?” Dean asked anxiously, looking at his brother in annoyance. He hates to lie to you, but he cannot see you acting like a living corpse. And his original intention was to bring you out of town, like going to the beach or to the country so you can ride horses because that’s what you love when you were a kid. But when Sam mentioned about going abroad and flying, he couldn’t say no to that because he knew you love to do that as well.

Sam smirked. “Guess we’re flying.” He shrugged.

“No, Sammy!” Dean scolded his little brother. “You know I’m afraid of flying! Why must you mention that?”

“Because it’s fun to scare you sometimes.” Sam continued to smirked, and laughed when Dean gave him a look between angry and scared. “Come on, let’s pack.”

[marysunshine23]

Problematic?

So, I’ve noticed a... popular trend in some of the stuff that I like and follow on Tumblr. Certain series or concepts are being deemed “problematic”. For the fun of it, let’s see what the dictionary definition is for “problematic”:

a: posing a problem : difficult to solve or decide

b: not definite or settled : UNCERTAIN: their future remains problematic

c: open to question or debate : QUESTIONABLE

This is.... not how people are using it. People are using problematic for... oh what’s that word... I’ll leave that for later. Anyway, the people who are defining certain series or concepts are not using it as problematic by it’s dictionary definition. And here’s why I think it’s silly.

Before I begin listing off some examples of series or concepts that I’ve seen be called problematic, I’m going to say something as a general. If a show is not problematic, it’s either uneventful or just... boring. Even these “slice of life” “reality” shows amp up the problems in a story so there is something worth watching. In fiction, the entire point of the problem is for it to be solved near the end. And what’s the first definition? Oh, that’s right, “posing a problem that is difficult to solve or decide upon”.

And what keeps the tension in a story but definition number two, “note definite or settled”. If it were easy to solve the problem, then it would be, again, boring. So saying that anything with a plot is “problematic” is a big “no shit, Sherlock” because that’s the point. The point is for it to be problematic. Tons of shows that are episodic have problematic situations for every episode. Hell, even Spongebob can be defined as problematic.

However, I know I’m gonna have a million people be like “that’s not what we mean!” And I know that’s not what you mean, that’s why I’m pointing out that your choice of words is silly. Saying anything with a plot, episodic or long running is by definition problematic. So why am I bringing this up? Well, I think what people are mostly associating the word “problematic” to is the third definition, “Open to Question or Debate: Questionable”. And not just questionable as in “let’s discuss this”, it’s “this is morally questionable”; or like I like to say, morally ambiguous. Now that I have that established, let’s list some examples! And by some, I mean two.

Hazbin Hotel

Now, I’m going to say right off the bat, no shit is this morally ambiguous. It’s supposed to be. You have the main protagonist being the princess of Hell, then her girlfriend, her friendly acquaintance who is also a lot of morally not so ambiguous things, an infamous radio show host and two of his lackeys. A lot of people have a lot of complaints about this, and I want to address them quickly.

Angel Dust’s Appearance: A lot of people are upset with how Angel Dust looks; wide chested, wearing a mini-skirt and thigh-high boots, and a somewhat defined waist. People are assuming that his appearance is transphobic. And I have to ask... have you guys never seen an androgynous person before? Like... ever? And there are a million discussions about “fuck gender norms”. Yet when an androgynous looking male is wearing a miniskirt under his too tight jacket. Or maybe it’s the whole using the jacket to shove his chest together to make cleavage, but what five year old hasn’t done that after seeing a “voluptuous” person?

Angel Dust’s Career: He’s a prostitute. He’s a prostitute who is also a porn star. He’s a prostituting porn star who regularly gets into turf wars. He’s a prostituting porn star who regularly gets into turf wars and enjoys recreational drugs. Does that make him a sex addict? No. Does that make him a drug addict? No. Does that make him addicted to violence? No. Does that make him the poster child of that life style? Yes.

Vaggie’s “Stereo Type” Personality: Okay, so I didn’t even know this was a thing until I saw posts about it. Like, for real. I thought Hispanic women were all super nice and motherly and “you’re too skinny!” But then again, I’m pretty sure that’s every non-Caucasian mother stereotype. However, I never found Vaggie’s personality to be “overly angry” or “overly protective”. She gets mad that people are underrating Charlie and her dream, but not so much that she will immediately kill anyone who rolls their eye at Charlie. And if she was overly protective, she wouldn’t even let Charlie take this risk of creating a hotel and broadcasting about it.

Over Swearing: They’re in Hell. This show is for adults. An episode of South Park swears more than this. Grow the fuck up.

There’s Homophobia/Transphobia!: Yes. From the antagonists. Who you’re supposed to dislike. So they’re doing their job. Like I said, grow the fuck up.

There’s no LGBTQ+ Representation: Vaggie and Angel Dust are gay, Charlie is bi, Alastor is Ace.

But Vivzi-: Nope. I’m throwing down the “Right to be Forgotten” card from Europe. This says that if a person has made a mistake in the past and then has redeemed past behaviors with present, they have the “right to forget”, meaning that it’s been forgiven.  And because this is the world wide web, I can say I honestly don’t care what Vivzi did or said ten years ago.

TLDR: Everything brought up as “problematic” is, in all honesty, angry people looking for a reason to be angry.

Next!

Beastars!

Now, according to Barnes and Noble, Beastars is rated 12-17 recommended. Generally that’s a teen to older teen rating. On the other hand, Netflix rated it TV-MA, meaning for mature audiences. So it’s weird. Anyway, rather than going by why people have said about Beastars (negatively) we’re gonna use TV-MA’s guide!

D - Sexual or Suggestive Dialogue: Yup. “Breeding” is a very popular topic in Beastars. It’s part of why Haru is bullied so much. And, come on, Legoshi is given a bunny porn magazine to read. Like, for real. But the nice thing is, the conversation is very casual, so it’s easy to miss. So it’s not a huge deal.

L - Course or crude language: Yup, there’s swearing. Moving on

S - Sexual content: Oh yeah, Haru’s got that covered. In fact, there is a lot of sexual themes in this. But is it porn? No more than Panty and Stocking, and that’s a trip and a half. But also, it’s about as sexual as Sailor Moon. Like, in all seriousness, Usagi is banging Mamoru at 12-16 way more than Haru is banging Louis at 18. Just saying. And it’s shown about as much, so. Yeah. While sexuality isn’t a theme in the porn aspect, it is something that brings up a discussion. The discussion of “can sex be empowering?” And the answer is yes, absolutely, that’s why we don’t slut shame on my blog. But also, another discussion is “can sex skew your perspective of right and wrong”, and the answer is, again, yes! It can! And it might be a good thing.

V - Violence: Yup. But it’s less violent than Tokyo Ghoul. It’s not vamped to 100, it’s not bad. But again, its something to bring up discussion. “Should your physical/biological makeup dictated your actions?” In this, we see very aggressive and even violent herbivores, and on the flip side, very passive and very gentle carnivores. And much like other conversations of what’s socially acceptable, a violent aggressive herbivore is wildly more accepted than a mild, meek carnivore. And heaven forbid carnivores behave like the prideful and aggressive herbivores, ‘cause that’ll get them thrown into jail. So yes, there is violence; violence due to biology and social norms.

So, for being as sexual or as violent as other anime in existence, why is it “problematic”? Probably because people hate furries as much as they hate bronies. People don’t like sexualized anthros. The only place anthros are acceptable is in a Disney movie.

Remember that word I “forgot” at the beginning? The word people meant to use instead of problematic? The word is “discomforting”. It makes you uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit into the norm of what has been “acceptable” in media. As much as South Park, Family Guy, Futurama and other “adult” animation has been using “adult” humor and “adult” themes, it’s not adult in maturity. It’s slap stick, and crude.

People are using “problematic” for cartoon media, or media in general, that is taking actual adult themes and creative adult humor and saying “We’re not here to make you comfortable, we’re here to make you think.” People don’t want to think, people want their minds to be numb, and that is problematic. Not the show, the fact that you don’t want to think. And another thing that is problematic is how people push away actual proper representation and label it as “problematic”, and then complain that they aren’t represented at all; let alone properly. (Those who have followed me for a while know what I’m talking about I don’t need more people to argue with me on that topic.)

Quit using problematic to describe things that are discomforting. And quit acting like being uncomfortable is bad. Being uncomfortable means your growing, and your being tested. And being tested isn’t bad either. Long story short, quit acting like everyone has to accommodate to you because you “don’t like it” or it “hurts your feelings” or makes you uncomfortable. Nothing in life is comfortable, and if you don’t like something, don’t look at it. Don’t watch it. Don’t read it. You have free will. So don’t drag everyone down because you think the world should care about your feelings. It doesn’t.