#lev.text

[afictionalthing]

how's everyone doing here?? I don't know many of our mutuals but I like saying hi !! ꈍ◡ꈍ

[afictionalthing]

could be both, could be neither.. maybe a new kinsider, or the end of a kinshift? unless it feels more similar to system switching and/or headmates. i'd compare the two sensations,, is this fluctuating feeling more personal to only you? or does it feel like it could belong to, or be, someone else?

Sooo I feel like I'm a different fictional character now. what does this mean. I was Daisuke. But now I feel really close to another. And sometimes I don't feel like either of them. Is this a system thing or a fictionkin thing. Both? Neither? :(

it's complicated because I keep having urges to talk different and act different so I can be closer to this new character

like I'm accepting that I'm this new character! But I'm wondering why it fluctuates. I'm not NOT daisuke! I'm still him! But I'm also this new guy.

It's weird. Thoughts?

[levmovska]

Lev→Rahi

Lev: Can't tell if

Lev: Motor or engine is broken

[afictionalthing]

,, i kind of miss my source girlfriend ... this is a bit embarrassing to post,,,,

[afictionalthing]

I don't really know what kind of person I am to be honest ,,

for some reason the others know themselves well,, and have a more stable sense of identity

I know I exist but I know very little about what makes me - me,, other than um, my appearance in headspace

uhhh. i know that I'm awkward, and anxious, and I like kaomojis,, and I do chores. <//3 and that people scare me a little

[afictionalthing]

I hope I wake up tomorrow and I'll still be in front.. properly, once we're a bit more awake and less blurry. goodnight Tumblr,, (*ˊᗜˋ*)

[afictionalthing]

I think I'm the only one in this system who wants to have my own body, seperate from the others. I love them all, a lot, they're my family in a way,, but I'm really fascinated by the idea of being my own person and that's hard to do when you share a brain with 4 other people.

i feel a bit guilty for saying that though.. I do care about all of them so much. to be fair I'll be happy with fronting more in general,, I like feeling like myself,, _(-ω-`_)_

[afictionalthing]

sometimes I want to make a sideblog for all my reblog stuff,, but then I think about how I want to use this blog and talk to everyone here! but I also don't want to clog up main with a bunch of pictures,, I dunno. maybe a picture-only sideblog? and I still talk here,,? ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

[afictionalthing]

from the /j system asks

🔨🥀 ?

🥀 — most brainrotted headmate

definitely Sasha hy may seem serious in hys fictionkin rants & advice posts but once you get to know hym he starts to unironically call people 'sigma' and it's.. it's something,,.

🔨 — headmate you’re blowing up with hammers at first opportunity

like all of them... & none of them.. umm. Mavey. mavey gets blown up

[afictionalthing]

PACED IN CIRCLES SO MUCH WE GOT DIZZY

[afictionalthing]

there's another ask in the inbox but I'm not answering it because we all agreed it's Reis ..... so it shall sit and wait in the inbox i fear

[afictionalthing]

*h*ello.

*h*ello *h* anon!! (≡^∇^≡) it's good to see you *h*ere again......:-)

[afictionalthing]

I like that I have my own things,, I have my handy journal now.. no one else can write in it, but they can read it. having it makes me feel more like my own person, I really like it.

[afictionalthing]

maybe I'm a trans boy.

I mean.. we're a trans guy collectively, but I never really considered myself to be one before because I never thought about it much.

and because in headspace I always felt like Just A Boy, and left it at that.

but today I found out I get dysphoric actually. and I'll probably be much happier once we start T if we ever do (hopefully!). so.. I think I can call myself trans. right? feels right. I don't know.

[afictionalthing]

I don't know if I like God.

I feel guilty for saying that.

we didn't grow up religious.. we never truly were, either.. but we tried, a few times. and failed.

in source I was Catholic. very. and sometimes I miss the reassurance in the back of my mind that things would be okay. sometimes I miss genuine prayer.. and the warmth that came with it. but I don't think I want to go back to Him because He feels mean now. unfair. the book is unfair, anyway. it always has been.

and, um.. everything's a bit strange now. but everytime we get to be in a church.. I feel happy. maybe it's the fictive experience. I don't know. but I like sitting on the pews for a while. it's comforting.

[afictionalthing]

hys just so sad right now

I dunno what to do,, I'll clean again