#like I like playing with the struggles and angst but really just have her subtly realize shes fine alone or with one of them I dont care

[dykedvonte]

I think any fix-it mouthwashing au has to have the mandatory scenes of Curly either being able to blink again or speaking for the first time.

[kimstills]

blame

pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!bau!reader, platonic!spencer x reader summary: in which your close relationship with spencer makes aaron wonder if there’s something going on between you and the young doctor. content warnings: mentions of kidnappings, torture, child abuse (typical cm case stuff), insecurities, age gap, and haley, jealous!aaron (hb is DOWN BAD), he kind of acts like a prick in the middle of this? but it’s v brief and he apologizes!! hints of autistic!spence, angst if u squint but mostly fluff, miscommunication, technically idiots to lovers but hotch is the only idiot <3 word count: 5.1k (this was NOT supposed to be this long omfg) a/n: this was inspired by a dream i had where i was besties w reid and everyone thought i liked him until i had to blurt out that i was into older men… enjoy!!

If looks could kill, Aaron was sure Spencer would be dead by now.

It was contradicting, in a way. How he thought of Spencer like the son that had come before his actual son, yet he was staring at him like a predator stalking their next victim.

You were standing next to the young genius, shoulders brushing against shoulders as you went back and forth with the geographical profile the two of you had been assigned to work on, something Aaron was really regretting having done.

The team had been called in to assist with a case in Portland, Maine, involving an abductor-type unsub. One who would stalk his victims and learn their routines before kidnapping them, torturing them for two to three days before disposing of them in forests and parks all throughout the city.

You and Reid were both tied when it came to your skills with geographical profiles, one of the many things that had blossomed your relationship with him. But with the way the unsub was beginning to rapidly devolve, the rush to develop said profile and figure out his next move had forced Aaron to assign you two together.

Deep down he knew that it had to be done for the sake of the case and all its victims, and that it was the best decision to make as leader of the team.

But, still, he couldn’t help the jealousy that was bubbling from within him, his gaze completely focused on the way you giggled and smiled, endeared, while watching Reid struggle to tape the map one of the sheriffs had supplied you with to a spare whiteboard in the office the team had been given to work in.

He hadn’t even noticed when JJ walked up to him, the blonde hair and white button up she was wearing apparently not enough to break him out of his trance until—

“Hotch.”

Aaron snaps his head towards her, blinking in bewilderment, “Sorry, what?”

JJ stares at him with a look of both concern and amusement, a smile tugging at her lips. Her hand is raised expectantly and her eyes flicker towards the case file in his hands.

He looks down at it, brows furrowing when he finally sees the death grip he was holding the paper with. It’s slightly crumpled from where his thumb had rested, the pages wrinkled.

He clears his throat, trying to soothe out the file as subtly and smoothly as he can before handing it to JJ, “Sorry,” he grumbled.

The blonde chuckles softly, taking it from him and doing her own best to bend it back into place. She begins to flip through the pages, though she can’t help but follow Aaron’s gaze back to you and Spencer.

You had finally gotten up to help him in taping up the map, taking it from his hands and effortlessly doing so before turning around and giving him a cheeky smile.

JJ turns her attention back to him, biting back a smug smile when she sees her boss practically glaring daggers at the two of you, “I assume you’re trying to figure them out, too?” She asks, looking down at the file.

Aaron blinks, this time slowly turning his head to gaze down at her, “What do you mean?”

Her eyes widen at the realization of what she just had insinuated about her co-workers to her boss. She shrugs coolly, trying to play it off, “Nothing. They’re just really close is all,” she gives him a tight-lipped smile before quickly walking away, leaving Aaron more confused than before.

He feels his fingers twitch by his side when he glances back at you. It’s cheesy, the way his heart skips a beat when you tuck the strands of hair that had made itself to the front of your face behind your ears. His hardened features soften at the sight of you laughing at something Reid’s said, something he’s sure only the two of you understand.

Aaron’s not sure what it was that had gotten him to stick out for you like a sore thumb or how his sudden infatuation with watching and admiring you and your every move had happened.

All he could recall was that it happened, and it had happened too fast for him to begin realizing how you had begun to overcome his every thought and consume him with feelings he hadn’t felt since Haley’s passing and his marriage with her.

A part of him had told himself that he wasn’t to blame; not only were you one of the best agents he had ever worked with, but you were the loveliest and wholesome of humans.

You had your rough days, everyone on the team understandably did, yet you never failed to meet people with kindness and patience, something else that Aaron wasn’t used to receiving when it came to his co-workers. And, as much as they loved him and he loved them, even his team members were prone to calling him ‘cold’ and ‘stoic.’

While you, on the other hand would always meet him with fond, bright smiles and greetings, never once avoiding his gaze or running the opposite direction as to ‘not get in his way’ like others did.

You were like the sun peeking out of the clouds after a dark and tremendous storm, shining on him with such warmth.

So, in the end, he couldn’t really help himself from falling for you. Or for even feeling childishly jealous when you were shining your warmth onto others.

Especially with someone who apparently the rest of the team suspected you of dating.

Perhaps he couldn’t blame Spencer for falling for you, too.

Everyone meant well, and Aaron knew he was also victim to cutting him off when the boy rambled, but you were the only one who truly listened to him. Who would interrupt him gently during urgent matters and let him continue after they were solved, and never made him feel inadequate.

He doesn’t know how he hadn’t seen it before now that JJ has mentioned it—too blindsided with his own feelings for you—but he begins to wonder, though, if there actually is something more between the two of you.

He likes to think that he begins playing close attention to your mannerism, body language, and shared interactions the two of you have throughout the entirety of the case because he has to. Now that it's been brought to his attention that two of his subordinates might be in a relationship, it's his job as Unit Chief to keep tabs.

So, he watches, when the whole team is sitting in the rectangular table, debriefing with one another and sharing ideas all whilst munching on take out food.

"So, we obviously know that the significance of the victim's being dumped in nature spots is important to this guy," Morgan explains, motioning his hand around the air as he goes on, "but could it be that he kidnaps and keeps his victims in similar spots, just somewhere more secluded?"

"Spencer and I were thinking that that could be a possibility," you say, stealing a fry off of said boy's take out plate, "Maybe he doesn't live in these same places, but he could be taking them to a hidden spot somewhere in the forests, something possibly hidden by debris, wood, or anything makeshift."

Spencer doesn't even blink as you continue to steal more neglected food off his plate, continuing to sort through pictures. Aaron could see Emily and Derek give each other a knowing, smug look through his peripheral.

He manages to swallow, the tip of his middle finger and thumb tapping against one another, "What else have you two come up with regarding the geographical profile?"

"Well, besides where he himself could be living or where he could keep his victims, the whole profile is scattered," Spencer answers this time, sliding the plate towards you as he sets down a picture of each victim with the name of the forests and parks they were found in written underneath. "The first two victims were dumped in a forest, the third in a park, and the fourth in another forest.."

As he goes on, you take advantage to continue eating, the way in which he had just let you eat off his plate despite his known phobia of germs not going unnoticed by everyone else.

If that one wasn't a sign, Aaron didn't know what else was.

*

With the geographical profile being all over the place, Aaron decides on pulling you away from the task the following day, instead pairing you up with him to check out the crime scene of the most recent victim.

He doesn't know if it's the leader in him doing so, pulling you away from your original project he had tasked you to do, or if it's just the mix of both curiosity and jealousy that continues to gnaw at him.

He was a grown man, for Christ's sake. Yet he couldn't help the way his heart churned when you hold his hand for a second longer than necessary after he helps you climb up the small, but frosty hill.

"Thanks," you mumble sweetly, your shoulders brushing against him as you walk past him and towards the await detectives.

Aaron trails behind you, trying to calm his beating heart as the lead detective on the case walks you both towards the victim's body.

"This is the second victim that's been dumped in a park," you start, squatting down to inspect the cuts and bruises on the woman's face. "These sites are obviously more public than the forests, yet he still leaves them in more secluded spots, away from general view."

"Well, we ruled out that he can't feel any remorse or sympathy," Aaron adds while he looks around the now closed off park. "He holds and tortures these women for hours."

You stand from your spot, placing your hands on your hips as you look around the park. Aaron recognizes the face you make as your 'thinking' face, your eyes squinted and your nose scrunched.

"What is it?" He asks, trying to meet your wandering gaze.

“Reid and I were talking about the possibility of the unsub dumping his victims in the same places where half—if not all—of his childhood abuse took place,” you miss the way his breath hitches in his throat and the way his shoulders sag slightly, continuing. “We know that he has to be a local here from Portland—probably raised around these same areas—and that he was abused severely as a child.”

Aaron tries his best to nod as nonchalantly as possible, “Something from his childhood obviously triggered him for him to start abducting and inflict the same pain on the victims before leaving them in similar places where he could have been left as a child after being abused.”

“Exactly,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. “We were theorizing around that idea for a while but weren’t too sure if the abuse could play such a huge part on his M.O.”

At the mentions of you and Reid again, Aaron couldn’t help but feel like an idiot.

Not only was he a grown man, but he was also your boss. And you were his subordinate, someone he should never had feelings for in the first place and someone he shouldn’t be feeling possessive over as if anything was to truly ever happen between you.

At first he had thought that Spencer wasn’t to blame for having the same feelings Aaron so strongly harbored for you. But, maybe, you weren’t the one to blame.

For falling for someone more your age, for someone you worked and paired so well with, for someone nobody else made such a grand effort to understand the way you did.

Not only was he a grown man and your boss, but he was also double your age, a single father, and a widower.

Swallowing harshly, he pulls out his phone from his suit’s inner pocket, “I’ll have Garcia check out any reported speculations of childhood abuse in these areas and see if she can narrow down our list,” He turns, using his height to his advantage and speeding off, leaving you completely behind.

You frown, rushing to catch up to him. You halt when you come to the same frosty hill he had helped you climb up and open your mouth to call for his help, but close it back up when you see he’s already made it back to the SUV and is climbing inside.

When you finally climb inside the car after successfully managing to climb down the hill without busting your ass, he’s talking with Garcia.

You wait patiently as he drives, the phone on speaker as he gives out quick orders that your friend rushes to catch up with. You try to take the chance of speaking up once he hangs up with her, but he’s quickly dialing for Rossi afterwards.

You’re quiet throughout the ride back to the precinct, the sudden change in mood too heavy for you to gather the courage to make any sort of conversation. Once parked in front of the building, he gets out right away, slamming the door while you’re barely unblocking your seatbelt.

You make a beeline to the conference room where you find Reid, no longer paying any mind on trying to find Aaron any longer.

Spencer jumps when you hurriedly slam the door behind you, eyes filling with worry when you lean against the wood and stare at the floor pensively, “You okay?” he asks.

“Fine,” you mumble, pushing yourself off the door and taking a seat across from him. “I just got back from the latest crime scene with Hotch and he started acting so weird after I told him about our theory of the unsub’s dumping pattern.”

“Weird how?”

You move to speak, but hesitate when you realize that going into detail about how cold your boss suddenly acted towards you after being used to receiving such kind—some might say preferable—treatment would make your friend speculate things he, of all people, did not need to speculate.

You shake your head, “Nothing. He’s probably just stressed or tired,” you drop your forehead onto the table’s cold wood, your arms stretched out in front of you. “I know I am.”

A beat of silence passes before you hear a creak and the feeling of a finger press against your index. You bite back a laugh, looking up to find Spencer leaning forward in his own seat to do a ‘finger touch,’ something you had come up with for him after realizing how persistent his germophobia was, even with the people he loved the most.

You smile at him, leaning your head on one of your forearms and pressing your finger into his.

From outside the glass-windowed office, Aaron watches you both, a solemn look on his face.

*

The case is finally closed once you and Spencer’s theory is proven right, the unsub securely put away and the green light to go home given at last. But with the late night icy weather too dangerous for the jet to take off, Aaron orders for everyone to instead turn in for the night at the hotel and head out first thing tomorrow morning instead.

He gives a silent thanks to no one in particular when he finds out it's his turn to have a room all for himself, the rotation always being cheated by Dave, Derek, or Emily that he always forgets who's next.

Shockingly enough, he's ready to turn in for the night, not even sparing an extra glance to any of the files he had brought with him as he prepares for bed. He's just about to sit down when a knock comes from behind his door, echoing throughout his room.

He lets out a quiet groan but stands nonetheless, rubbing tiredly at his face before swinging the door open. His first instinct is to snap at whoever's behind, but that's before his eyes cast over you.

You're fiddling with your fingers, dressed in your pajamas that consists of an off-the-shoulder shirt that dips low enough to show off your collarbone and the very top of your chest, your bra strap in the middle.

And, despite the chilly weather outside, you were wearing shorts. A pair of cotton shorts that peek out from underneath the shirt you were wearing and leave little to the imagination—more so, Aaron’s imagination.

Truth be told, he's seen you in a lot less. Your usual team outing outfits consisted of tank tops, baby tees, shorts, and slightly more revealing clothes.

But this, seeing you in what you would normally sleep in, sends him into a completely different spiral.

You cringe and immediately panic at the thought of having woken him up, "Sorry, were you already asleep?" you ask, taking a tentative step back.

Aaron blinks and clears his throat, the pads of his thumb and middle finger once again tapping against one another, "No," He lies. "I was barely getting ready."

Your shoulders drop and the panic dissipates as a small smile replaces it, “Oh, okay,” you bring your hands behind your back, rocking on your heels, “I just wanted to talk to you. If that’s alright?”

Aaron’s brows furrow though he immediately steps to the side to allow you in, a soft ‘of course’ following.

He takes in the way you hesitantly step in, back facing him and arms still intertwined behind your back.

You’re being respectful, probably hoping that you’re not overstepping with whatever it is that you want to talk about. And though you always are, he can’t tell if you’re nervous, worried, or filled with insomnia that you just couldn’t sleep.

“Is everything alright?” He finally asks when you don’t make a move to sit down anywhere, his hands slightly ajar to his side like he’s ready to reach out and touch you.

God, how he wishes he could touch you.

You clear your throat and turn around, “Actually, I was just coming to ask you the same thing,”

The harsh lines on Aaron’s face deepen when you take a seat on the edge of the bed, glancing beside you as a signal for him to join you.

He swallows as he does so, careful not to sit too close and award you space. His eyes flicker back up at you when he hears your breath hitch.

Seconds of silence pass before you shuffle closer to him, bringing your body forward so that you were staring at him directly.

“Are you… feeling okay?”

Aaron freezes, his movements completely stilling at your question. His mind begins to race with all the possibilities of what could have brought on your question when it clicks.

How he had concurred that you and him were completely different and could never be a possibility, and how he immediately decided that acting cold towards you would shun out the feelings he’s felt for so long now.

Another clear of his throat, he replies, “I’m fine.”

You raise a brow at him, giving him a look that shows that you know he’s not telling the truth.

“Are you sure?” you ask again, this time more firmly. “I don’t mean to overstep, but you’ve been acting rather…strange ever since you and I got back from the fifth victim’s crime scene.”

Aaron cringes at how your expression turns into a sad one, quickly masking it with one of concern afterwards.

He sighs. He supposes that if there’s a possibility that you and Spencer are dating, now’s the time to ask you about it.

He makes a show of staring directly at you in the same way he does when he’s in his ‘boss mode,’ trying to study your face before he asks the question, “Is there something I should know about you and Spencer?”

That wasn’t what you were expecting.

You’re taken aback, quite literally flinching as if you had been struck. It takes you a few seconds to take in what he’s just asked you, and you shake your head almost as if it wasn’t real.

“I’m sorry?”

The desperation gnaws at him once more, and he’s not sure which side of him wants to find out the answer.

“Are you and Spencer dating?” he asks again, voice somehow unwaveringly calm as he punctuates each word clearly.

Your mouth opens in shock, letting out a sound that’s half a scoff half a broken laugh. You look around the room in utter bewilderment.

“What correlation does my relationship with Spencer have with what I asked you?” You can’t tell if you’re angry or just confused, but you stand from the bed and stare down at him.

Aaron follows your lead, “I never noticed it before until the rest of the team pointed it out, but you two are close. Close in such a way that—” He swallows, “—as your boss, I have to ask.”

Before the rest of the team pointed it out. Of course.

You fully scoff this time, “As my boss, you should know that Spencer and I have always been close,” you concur.

“Then why can’t you look at me?”

Despite your heart hammering in your chest, you force yourself to look at him, “Excuse me?”

“You’re not looking at me, you’re getting defensive, and you’re practically avoiding the question,” he says, his own gaze practically boring into you.

“Hotch—”

“You’re deflecting by saying that I should know that you two have always been close, and while I do know that, you’re still not answering my question.”

It feels cruel of him to press you for answers like this, knowing that there was an easier way to do it.

“Reid and I are not dating!” you do your best to not shout it at him in fears of waking the rest of the team up, fists balled at your sides.

“Then why are you so nervous?” he asks, taking a step closer to you. “Why can’t you still look at me?”

“Because it’s you that I like!”

You slap your hands over your mouth immediately and the room falls silent.

Aaron blinks. Once, twice, three times.

You liked him?

You lower your hands, nervously brushing your hair behind your ears as you look around the room in a state of panic, “I-I’m just going to go,” you mumble and immediately rush towards the door.

Aaron stands the for a second, too frozen to do or say anything before his own panic settles in brazenly. His body moves before he has time to register what he's doing and what he'll do when he reaches you.

He wraps an arm around your forearm just as you open the door, halting you from stepping outside, "Y/N, wait,"

"Hotch, please," you're quick to try and release yourself from his grasp, yanking your arm towards yourself in what results as a poor attempt. "Just ignore what I said."

"I can't do that," he dips his head to try and get you to look at him but you simply avoid your gaze even more than your originally had, your cheeks flushed.

"Hotch, let me go!" you whisper-shout, once more fighting his grip. “I’m already embarrassed enough, I don’t need you chastising me anymore.”

“I’m not chastising you, Y/N,” Aaron’s sure he sounds as desperate as you probably feel, but he can’t find it in himself to let you go and ruin his one chance of bringing his feelings to the light. Even if it went against everything he had been telling himself earlier that week.

“Do you not think it’s possible for me to feel the same way?”

Your head snaps towards him, your movements suddenly rigid at his question, “W-What?”

You’re sure that, if your heart hadn’t raptured beforehand, it certainly will now.

Aaron takes you letting your guard down as the chance to bring a hand to your waist and pull you back into the room, shutting the door and thanking that nobody else from the team had emerged from the commotion.

“What do you mean by that?” you’re quick to ask, staring up at him with curious, yet hopeful eyes.

He lowers his head as to avoid your gaze this time, letting out a deep breath. Everything he wanted to do now went against everything he had told himself the day before, when he ridiculed himself for ever thinking that you would like someone such as him or that something could ever happen between you two.

“Hotch,” your voice is firm and you allow yourself to take a step closer to him. You need him to look at you, to give you some sort of clue that he didn’t just say what he said to play you, to get you to re-enter the room just so he could profile you even more. “What do you mean by that?”

Repeating your question doesn’t help him and it certainly doesn’t help the way his heart hammers in his chest, a sound so loud that he’s sure you can hear it from how close you’re standing.

“You like me?” you whisper, dipping your head to try and meet his eyes. How ironic that just a couple of seconds ago you were trying to avoid it.

Aaron shrugs, finally looking up, “How could I not?”

His boyish, yet vulnerable expression makes your breath hitch.

“I said that I had to know if there was something between you and Reid as your boss, but it was just because I was jealous,” he shakes his head, trying his best to suppress an all but amused smile. “It was immature of me, really.”

You shake your head, trying to collect both your own thoughts and everything he was telling you. He had been jealous?

“So, is that you acted that way after I told you about our theory in the park?”

The way in which he left you behind in both the park and in the parking lot of the precinct hits him like a brick, cringing at his actions, "I realized then, when you were talking about what you had both come up with, how compatible you two are. How it would make more sense for you to like someone more suited for you. I'm sorry for how I acted,"

Your heart breaks at hearing his confession, of how he, the same man you practically fell head over heels for after your first meeting, could think that he was unworthy of your attention. If you were being honest, you hadn't been hurt by the way he had acted earlier in the day, only confused as to why.

"Hotch--" you stop yourself. You take another step closer, closing the space between the both of you more and more. "Aaron,"

He snaps his head up at your usage of his first name, the way you said it so gently and naturally getting all his attention.

"I've liked you ever since I first met you," you confess. "I'll admit I was too intimidated by you to fully register what I was feeling, but the more I got to know you, the harder I began to fall. And I fell really hard," you let out a laugh, trying to ignore just how much you were putting on the line right now and how self-conscious you felt with his eyes boring into you.

"You've been with the BAU for three years," Aaron's voice is barely above a breathless murmur and he's sure you wouldn't have heard it if you weren't standing so close. "That's how long you've liked me for?"

You nod, lips pursed, "I never said anything because I thought you would never see me that way, let alone reciprocate my feelings. If I'm telling the truth, I wouldn't have said anything if it weren't for you pressing me into telling you that I was dating Reid."

Aaron smirks despite the warmth he feels on his cheeks, shrugging his shoulders and letting out a soft laugh, "Well, then I'm glad I ended up asking. Who knows how many more years we would've gone like this if I hadn't."

You both laugh, subconsciously curling towards each other when you both double over and bring yourselves even closer than before.

You stare up at him with a warm expression before casting your eyes downwards. You lift your hand to linger above his, the pads of your fingers brushing against the hairs on the back of his palm, "So, what happens now?"

Without breaking eye contact, he takes your hand in his while the other reaches for your waist once more. You let out a small yelp when he pulls you even closer, your bodies now touching and radiating the warmth you both thought you’d never be able to feel from one another.

The next few seconds are filled with bliss when he lowers his head to press his lips against yours. You’re immediately weak, letting go off his hand to place both on his shoulders as to support yourself.

The other now free hand of his comes to rest on your other hip, fingers digging into the fabric of your shorts ever so possessively. A whimper escapes from your mouth and Aaron takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, doing so with so much fervor and passion that it leaves you feeling dizzy even with your eyes closed.

Aaron is relentless even after you pull away to catch your breath, the act of kissing you now something he’s inevitably hooked on. He presses kisses all over your face, from your cheek to your chin to your jaw, then all the way down to your neck.

“You know,” you cough out, flushed from the attention, “I told you how long I’ve liked you, but you didn’t tell me how long you’ve liked me.”

Aaron smiles into your skin, immediately recalling when he first realized his own feelings for you. He lifts his head to press a sweet kiss to your lips, eliciting a hum from you.

“I can tell you all the details over either a nice dinner tomorrow evening after we land,” he says, another kiss to your lips. He turns your bodies around so that his back was to bed, the mattress dipping under his weight when he sits. “Or you can spend the night here and we can stay up all night talking about it.”

His voice is sultry, and the way in which he grabs at your hips to get you to straddle him makes you flush.

“Are you already trying to seduce me?” you ask, mock offense in your tone though you happily take your guided seat on his lap, both knees on each side of his thighs.

Aaron hums this time, brushing your hair back to begin kissing at your neck again, “Can you blame me?”

He already knows your answer, he’s sure. He knows you can’t, because he can’t, either.

[akutasoda]

“the longer you wait, the closer you get to suffocating”

--love wasn't necessary to be a stoneheart, and so he buried it deep beneath facade's. so far below that he couldn't recognise the signs of love even when they were staring right at him.

--warnings - gn!reader, angst no comfort(?), some fluff, unknowingly pining??, maybe ooc, wc - 1.8k

--a/n: i think im allergic to making him happy :/ anyway i feel like this is kind of rushed but rrghhh (shouts to the amazing @mitsvriii and @theother-victoria for proofreading)

aventurine never loved.

the stoneheart never knew the embrace of a loved one, soft-spoken genuine words, or even what it was to even recognise the signs. love was a foreign concept. something that wasn't needed in the world of contracts and lies, it was something that could be used against you, to punish someone foolish enough to think with their heart and not their brain.

he didn't need it anyway. in some distant past of golden sands and gleaming smiles, love was common. childlike wonder and affection was exchanged between families and those considered family, but that didn't last long. scorching flames rained down upon them, loved ones buried beneath the serene sands and forgotten.

the love made it hard to let go. traumatic to watch as every single person the boy cared for succumbed to pain and death's cold embrace, his tears did nothing. they didn't convince those that started the massacre to stop, to spare even one shred of the boy's livelihood because they didn't have love. the massacre was only a means to an end - emotional attachments were insignificant.

the scars never healed, the sights were forever engraved into the young avgins mind. the only time he could really dwell on them however was in the rare moments of silence he had. from his life as a young avgin to his life as a stoneheart, at every step and every turn something happened to him.

for someone blessed with luck, it never felt like it. they say that the end justifies the end, but he would prefer the end never arrived if he had to go through all the suffering and misfortune to get there. it was as if his luck only worked if he went through mental turmoil and struggle beforehand.

no matter what he lost, it all turned out for him in the long run. but was losing everything he had worth the luck that allowed him to live on with those memories?

---✩

you'd met through mutual acquaintances, those who weren't as afraid to let people into their lives - namely topaz.

he'd caught a glimpse of you with topaz as he roamed the halls of one of the IPC’s main buildings. naturally he was intrigued. aventurine had never seen you before and, judging from how close you and topaz were acting, you must have been of some importance to her.

topaz was approached by her colleague after you'd bid farewell a while ago. she had no obligation to actually tell him who you were, topaz liked maintaining a good work - life balance and you were a part of her personal life, aventurine was mainly a part of her work life. however, she obliged anyway, she trusted him more than the other stonehearts.

it was a short explanation, you were simply a friend of hers that she'd asked to stop by because work was piling up lately and topaz couldn't have seen you otherwise. topaz could see aventurines interest from a mile away, uncharacteristic coming from him, but she knew that he would play it off as a passing intrigue - still out of character in her opinion.

but topaz wasn't as blind as aventurine insisted he was and so perhaps she deliberately tried to ask you to visit her just before she knew aventurine was going to be around. she wasted no time in subtly introducing the two of you properly, before anyone knew it, you and aventurine proved to be an unrivaled match.

it was almost shocking how quickly you worked your way into the stonehearts life. developing a closer relationship than with anyone else aventurine knew - even topaz was shocked. soon it was like aventurine had known you since before he adopted such an identity.

you gave him a warmth that he could only dream of now. one that a previous form knew of well but now, it was a foreign concept. he couldn't recognise the signs, see what everyone else saw when you two were around each other. your constant affection was a clear sign that you were friends, but eventually somewhere along the line, that friendship blossomed into a longing for something more.

you tried subtle advances, hints and such to suggest a genuine interest in aventurine as something more. everything you laid down, he didn't pick up - if he did, he didn't show it.

however, aventurine was blind. a fool when it came to looking emotions in the face, unable to see the signs and pushing anything that bubbled to the surface as far down as possible. aventurine didn't need anything other than acquaintances or business partners - friends were a wild exception but even he sometimes denied it mentally.

everyone that knew it well enough knew, it was glaringly obvious. even to veritas as he watched the stoneheart perk up at the notification his phone showed him. undoubtedly a message from you, basing the assumption on how quickly he responded or how he smiled like a dumbstruck fool.

about half an hour ago, aventurine barged into the doctor's office and slumping down in his chair. ratio didn't care, too used to it by this point and too focused on the current problem that plagued his mind and caused him to work tirelessly to solve.

it was about ten minutes ago that aventurine resigned to his phone after ratio's lack of interaction with him - he sighed as the doctor clearly saw more interest in his equations. now, he was messaging you.

“any developments” ratio’s voice snapped aventurines head up from his phone, looking quizzically to the doctor

he paused “what do you mean?” slowly setting his phone down

now it was ratio's time to sigh “you and your obvious infatuation” pointing toward the stonehearts phone

“what? no.” a nervous laugh escaped him “acquaintances, that's all we are. you're thinking too much into this doctor”

to ratio, aventurine was clearly in denial. dismissing the situation at any given time and so he went back to his equation - it was more entertaining than fighting with aventurine’s denial.

“fine, forget i asked” ratio began to shift his entire attention away from the gambler. aventurine stared at the doctor for a bit too long

he could sense the other man's gaze and so ratio merely sighed “let me offer you some advice gambler”

aventurine almost wanted to laugh, veritas ratio offering him emotional advice. a rather comical situation in his opinion

“you have to put your heart out there, it may be broken but that's how you know you have one” ratio’s words halted him, staring almost wide eyed as the doctor retreated

maybe he should've taken that advice.

---✩

when aventurine was first assigned his mission for penacony, he immediately told you. there were no specific details involved, just that he was going away for a bit due to work and so wouldn't be around. it wasn't entirely uncommon for him to do so, and you merely acknowledged it and wished him well, a safe return even.

unfortunately, aventurine hadn't told you a key detail. he never planned to return. guilt consumed him when he didn't tell you, hearing you wish him well really set it in, but this was a choice he made. one that he was determined to not go back on.

as soon as opal gave him the whole mission brief, he knew what had to be done. accepting the mission meant accepting his fate, both him and opal were very aware. neither of them stopped aventurine however.

but aventurine didn't know how you'd react. he could guess that it wouldn't be well, seeing as barely anyone would react well to someone they cared about telling them that they planned to never return after a mission. so aventurine withheld his real intent in order to save you the trouble.

aventurine didn't want a fussy send off. admittedly the way he planned to go would be anything but quite or lowkey, but he knew that you'd try and stop him. to convince him to change his mind and find an alternative that would involve him seeing another day.

but you didn't know.

aventurine reciprocated your genuine smile when you wished him well before he finally left for penacony. that would be the last time he saw that smile.

---✩

penacony was flashy, he expected no less from the planet of festivities. bright lights, billboards, unique food on every corner and varieties of people. they would all be the witnesses to his planned spectacle, the more the merrier in his opinion.

he couldn't miss the way that his eyes lingered for a beat more than they should on certain stores. the products inside temporarily making his thoughts drift back to you, making a mental reminder to himself to buy it for you later but reminding himself that it would be pointless - although his subconscious would make him buy it and immediately sent it to you.

even in the chaos that was penacony and it's guests, you still found a way to wind up in his thoughts - bringing his thoughts about the mission to a temporary halt and having a moment of respite. brief memories flashing in his mind that made him stop and smile, the sentimentality getting to him.

but it wouldn't change his mind.

aventurine never allowed his emotions to get in the way of work. you wouldn't make an exception. he stopped caring for his own life ages ago, time and time again it was beaten into him and it was the only way he could've gotten this far.

emotions had never done anything but hurt him, caused him more pain than worth. he was no longer kakavasha. he was aventurine, one of the ten stonehearts and they valued results, not petty feelings. no business deal worked out when you let your heart get in the way.

no plan worked when every minute he was thinking about what could've been. aventurine was being dumb, you wouldn't love him. all those signals were simply you being a friend, nothing more - and he should be happy that you even saw him as such. aventurine shouldn't be wishing for more.

a heavy sigh escaped him as he snapped out of his thoughts. the lights at clock studios theme park seemed brighter, tauntingly so, as of they were out to mock him with happiness that could've been and yet he still chose the darkness of death. tucking his hand behind him, shaking, he stepped heavy steps toward the stage.

the show must go on.

---✩

it was cold.

pitch black endlessness illuminated by the symbol of nihilty’s form.

he looked down at his hands, shaking more than ever and he wasn't even putting his life on the line, then he looked up.

kakavasha.

had he died? were these the final moments of aventurine?

he'd soon learn they weren't. and as that emanator walked away, he realized that he lived. he failed. and yet, was it really a failure if he could see you one more time?

maybe, just maybe, he could finally own up to his feelings.

rest of the "series"

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn, @https-sourlimes

[justmeinadaze]

Take It Out On Me Part 18 (Steddie X Plus Size Reader)

A/N: Since the last one was so angsty, I bare you this cuteness with the smut. The outfit she wears near the second half is inspired by Pink's outfit from the "Lady Marmalade" video (pictured above).

Warnings: Daddy/Sir Steddie and Plus Size Sub Fem Reader and all that implies (I regret nothing!), SMUT, morning sexy time :D, slight teasing from the reader, degrading, spanking, choking, dirty talk, over stimulation. FLUFF, reader surprises them with a trip to NY to meet her family, they talk about the future a bit when it comes to kids and things like that, they go to a club and dance and have fun, ANGST (slightly), reader runs into some men who try and flirt with her but Eddie puts them in their place, some older folks are rude to the metalhead but reader steps in. I think that all.

Word Count: 9215

“I got you guys a present.”, you beam over at them from your place in the kitchen.

“You got us something? Baby, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know, Daddy, but after the fire and all the chaos these past few months I thought we deserved something nice.” You held out an envelope for them, your grin growing as Eddie playfully snatched it out of your grasp and tilting down to kiss your lips. 

You watched their faces as he tore it open and held up what was inside to show Steve. 

“Three tickets to New York?”

“Yeah. I thought I could show you around town and then you could meet my family up there. Sir, you are going to love the bars! They have bands there that play 24/7 and Daddy is going to flip when we show him Yankee Stadium. My uncle has season passes because my younger…cousins…” Your voice trailed off as they silently watched you speak with a little smirk on their faces. “What? I didn’t do something wrong, did I? I know we usually talk about things like this but—”

The metalhead’s lips cut you off as he lifted you onto the counter. 

“I think…this is a great idea.”, he grins.

“You’re just really cute when you babble.”, Steve smiles as he hops up beside you and pulls you to his side. “I don’t think I’ve ever been out of Indiana.”

“Me neither.”

“You two are going to love it especially since now I’m old enough to not have my family watching over me. I can show you all the fun places my cousins and I would sneak off to.”

##################

They were both excited to get away but Eddie hated waking up at 6 am to catch the plane. He crashed in the waiting area on your lap and then on your shoulder while you were on the plane. Curling up beside Steve, you noticed while you reading the book in your hand, he was subtly doing the same. After he finished a page, you figured out his fingers would twitch ever so slightly on your bicep and you’d turn to the next one. 

He wasn’t much of a reader if at all. Eddie, of course, loved anything fantasy related and actually suggested the book you were reading. He and you could fly through any novel pretty quickly but during your time on the flight you learned that Steve was a bit of a slow reader. It didn’t surprise you since you helped them both study in high school. Where Eddie struggled to focus on anything he deemed boring, Steve always got frustrated faster when he couldn’t immediately come up with an answer. 

“FUCK! I just don’t get it. This doesn’t make any fucking sense!”

“Daddy, it’s ok. You’re just over thinking it.”

“Because I’m an idiot.”

“You are NOT an idiot. You don’t let me talk down about myself and I’m not going to let you either.”

It always made you sad because he seemed eager to learn and try new things but no one ever took the time to be patient with him especially his parents. To his father everything needed to be done now and the “correct” way. 

“I love you, Steve.”

“Hm? I love you to, baby. Keep reading. I like watching you focus.”

“Mhmm…I think you just want to know if the princess is ok.”

He smiles as he jokingly turns your head back towards the pages in front of you. 

****

“Hey, we should have asked but does your family know about us?”, Eddie asks as he clicks the key into your hotel room door. 

“Yes, my mother did inform them. My parents actually stopped speaking to them for a while around the same time they weren’t speaking to me because my aunt and uncle didn’t see a problem with it.”

He kissed your temple when he heard the sad change of your voice before tossing your bag on the bed. 

“When are we meeting them?”

“Um, in a couple of hours so we have some time to freshen up before lunch slash dinner.”, you giggle. “Kinda like me they want to show you around but my aunt wanted to cook for you so we’re having lunch there and then after my uncle is showing us the town.” They nod as Steve falls backwards on the bed. 

Eddie bounces in beside him, reaching for you to crawl in bed between them. Laying on your back, the metalhead wastes no time resting his head on your chest and on impulse you run your fingers through his hair as the other man wraps his arm around your waist. 

##########

“Hey kids! Well, I guess you aren’t kids anymore but, oh, I’m so glad you’re here.”, your uncle grins as he pulls you into a bear hug. “Alright, so let me take a guess here. This young man with the long hair and tattoos I vaguely see peeking out that drove your mom crazy is Eddie?”

A throaty laugh escapes through his teeth as the metalhead extends his hand for him to shake. 

“Which would make you the pretty boy with the douchebag dad that my brother-in-law hit, Steve.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well come in, come in.” He excitedly ushers you three forward as he introduces members of the family. “My wife has extended family here in New York to so they’ll be coming over later. And, of course, speak of the devil…”

Your aunt giggles as she shakes her head at her husband before pulling each boy in for a hug. 

“It’s so good to finally meet you. Her mother sent us a copy of those prom pictures! You three were so cute. Y/N, honey, do you want to help me here for a moment?”

“Um, yeah sure.” You mouth your apologies to them but they just grin as your uncle tugs them towards the outside. 

“Oh wow, this is gorgeous.” Steve marvels at the patio in the backyard with a long table under a white awning. There were white Christmas lights strung up along the lining but because of the sun they were off. Further into the yard, there were kids playing that your uncle pointed to and named. 

“Out here on the suburban side, you are able to see the stars so I built this little area so my wife and I would sit outside after our daughter was born. The more kids we had the bigger and more extravagant everything got.”, he chuckles as he pats the boy’s back. “Here, have a seat. I’d love to know more about you. I heard you two got hurt recently. How are you doing?”

“A lot better, thank you. The scars aren’t exactly appealing but…” Steve turns to show him the markings along his outer arm. 

“I didn’t get burned but the gash in my leg is sexy.” 

Your uncle roars with laughter making them smile wider. “I swear to God. When I heard that Kline was responsible I wasn’t surprised. The fucker cut corners in his campaign! I don’t know why people thought a mall would be different.”

“You lived in Hawkins?”

“Oh yeah. Y/N’s mom and I grew up there. I’m older so, full disclosure, I vaguely knew your parents. I actually knew Wayne Munson better than Allen. We hung out a few times but after high school, I came up here to go to college.” He eyes them up and down as they nod. “I imagine my sister already grilled you two?”

“Yes, sir.”, Steve laughed. “A bit more than grilling.”

“Then I won’t give you the third degree but I will do the obligatory ‘If you hurt her, I will kill you’ warning.”

“That’s fair. We’re not perfect but we would never hurt her. We love her.”

Your uncle grins and nods at Eddie’s answer as they continue to talk through the afternoon.

***

By the end of lunch, the boys were in love with your family. There wasn’t one moment through the meal that they stopped smiling or laughing. Your smaller cousins attached to them fairly quickly. Some of the kids asked Steve to play football with them while your youngest cousin made little grabby hands to sit on Eddie’s lap so he could color with her. 

You couldn’t help but wonder if this is what a future with them would be like. Sitting in the backyard after a meal while they played with your children. Maybe you’d have a little boy with Eddie’s laugh who Steve would help with his homework, furrowing his eyebrows like he did in school as they worked together. Or maybe a little girl with Steve’s smile whose eyes would light up as Eddie read her a story like one of his campaigns. 

Did they even want kids? You had never had that conversation but to be fair you three were still so young. You weren’t ready to have any children right now. And what about marriage? Of course, you couldn’t marry two people but what about some kind of symbol or ceremony? Did they want something like that? Steve always wanted to just be. 

“Princess, what are you thinking so hard about?”

You blinked back into the moment to find Eddie’s chocolate color eyes scanning you’re your face.

“Nothing. I’m just watching you two have fun.”

His eyes narrowed playfully in your direction. He knew you were lying and you knew he’d know that but there wasn’t much he could do about it here with your family. 

“Oh Jesus!” You both turned just in time to see Steve being tackled to the ground by giggling kids. “Ok! Ok, I give up. You guys win.”

“I told you, Steven! Those kids are persistent.”, your uncle laughs. “Alright, who’s ready to go tour the city?”

***

Piling into their minivan, your aunt drove towards the lights that practically painted the sky. Your uncle and your eldest cousin tagged along while the smaller kids stayed behind. 

Both men held your hands as they looked out the windows taking everything in. Their eyes lit up as the took in the tall buildings and all the people hastily hustling to their next destination. After parking the car, you all got out and walked around. 

Of course, Eddie promptly noticed a record store and pulled you both in. Your aunt stood beside him as he talked about metal records making her laugh as she asked him more questions. Your cousin tugged you as far away from everyone as possible as you two pretended to browse the albums in front of you. 

“They are both so fucking cute and you get the best of both worlds! The heavy metal bad boy and the cute preppy jock guy. You get Tom Cruise AND James Hetfield!”

“Stop it.”, you giggle as you push her with your hip. “He’s not a bad boy, not like that anyway.”

You stick out your tongue jokingly making her laugh. 

“Do you like…ya know…at the same time or do you say…have one for lunch and then the other for dinner?”

“That is weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever heard you say, Nat.” You both cackle as your grin grows. “And yes to answer your question.”

“Really?!”

“Shhhhh!”

“I would be so exhausted. Hell, I can barely even keep up with the one man I have.”

You don’t see it but they are both watching you from their respective places in the store. They had never seen you come out of your shell this much and to them it was the most beautiful thing they had ever witnessed. Hawkins definitely sheltered your personality.

Steve came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you, and without any hesitation you leaned back against his chest. 

“What kind of music are you into, Steve?”, your cousin asked.

“Um, just the regular stuff I guess.”

“His media knowledge was suppressed.”, you whisper, smiling when his palm comes around to cover your mouth. 

“My dad always listened to that 60 style Frank Sinatra type music so that’s all I really know of.”

“Well, tomorrow night, we will be giving you some education.”

***

Your uncle took everyone to dinner at an Italian restaurant near times square. The boys felt bad when they saw the prices and insisted on helping to pay. 

“Hey no. You are my guests and I make enough money. I have to when you have a billion children.”

“Wow. Calm down over there.”, you aunt laughs as he pulls her to his side and kisses her forehead. 

Throughout the meal, your family got to see a side of them that only Masie had ever really been witness to. While you waited for your food, Eddie slung his arm on the back of your chair and ran his fingers through your hair, occasionally petting the back of your head. The restaurant got a bit chilly and without thinking twice, he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders. When you were done eating, Steve held your hand on the table as his thumb caressed your skin. Every now and then he would turn his head to kiss your forehead. 

“Alright kids, I know tomorrow night you have plans with this troublemaker here.”, your uncle teases his daughter. “But I got you a present for tomorrow afternoon.” He grins as he holds up three tickets to a play. “My niece is a nerd but you can’t come here and not at least see one play.”

“Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know but I did. Sue me. You should take them to that clothing store you like so you can get something to wear for it.”

“What makes you think I didn’t bring anything already?”

“Because I know you.”

You both laugh as you hug him and the rest of your family before going in separate directions. Dragging them up the street, you guide them to a big two-story store you always came with your family to browse in. 

“This is where I got that outfit I wore that first day of senior year. Hawkins doesn’t really have a big collection of styles to choose from.”

“Well pick whatever you want and we’ll pay for it. Do we need suits or something?”

Eddie whines as he puts down a shirt he was looking at. “Do we have to wear suits?”

“No, Sir.”, you giggle as you push up on your toes to kiss his lips. “But you are supposed to look nice so a dress shirt maybe?”

“I got him. Don’t go far!”, Steve chuckles as he pushes his friend towards the men’s side. 

“I’ll meet you two at the dressing room over here.”

After about 30 minutes, both men find what they need and search for you. 

“Baby?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I think I found something but…” You step out of the room in front of the mirror and turn from side to side. The dress you had on was a gorgeous green V-neck style that cut off just above your knees. The black straps showed off your arms and the black bow tied around you accentuated your hips. “…I’m not sure. What do you guys think?”

They were both staring at you again with glassy eyes like when you descended the stairs for prom. 

“Uh oh. Did I lose you?”

“Goddamn, you look gorgeous.”

“You should wear dresses more. You look amazing.”

“Thank you.”, you twirl like a little girl. “Well, if this is how you feel about me in dresses wait until you see the other outfit I got for you tomorrow night.”

“The cute little black thing we got you in Hawkins?”

“Noooooo, Daddy.” Your grin grows as you bite your bottom lip. “This is something for just us when we get back to the hotel.”

***

The key beeps as you three enter the room and you toss the things everyone had bought that day on the bed. 

“Oh Sir, you should put on MTV so we can listen to some music.”

As you reach for your suitcase to change into your pajamas, Eddie grabbed your bicep and turned you to face him.

“Hey. Don’t think I forgot about what happened at your uncle’s house. What were you thinking so hard about?”

“What happened?”, Steve asked as he took a seat at the end of the bed.

“That’s what I’m trying to find out, Harrington.”

“I feel like this is going to seem out of nowhere but…”, you sigh. “Do you guys want kids?”

Their eyes widen, genuinely taken aback by your question. 

“Right now?”

“No! God, no. I just saw you guys with my cousins today and you were both so adorable. It got me thinking about what you would be like as dads which led to me wondering what you would be like husbands. I got sad because I know we can’t get married but then I was like ‘If we could is that something they would even want? Kids? A house? I mean—”

“Ooooookay! Okay. Slow down, sweetheart. You’re running a mile a minute.” He grins as he cupped your face in his hands. “We’ve never really talked about it but I guess we can do that now.”

“I’m afraid of being a dad.”, Steve blurted. “I don’t want to lie to you, Y/N. I love the idea of kids and being a husband but the notion terrifies me.”

“Me to.”, Eddie agrees. “But… I never thought I’d ever have someone fall in love with me to even have that conversation yet…”, he gestures towards you.

“Be nice to yourself.”, you softly smile as you repeat back verbiage they’ve said to you a billion times. Taking a seat next to Steve, Eddie pulls up the rolling desk chair by the wall so he can be closer to you two. “I’m sorry. I feel like I’m being a needy girlfriend or something which is why I wanted to avoid this—”

“Become a better liar and maybe you can.”, Steve teases. “No, honey, you’re not being needy or coming off that way. I mean, we’ve been seeing each other for, what, almost 3 years now.”

“DO you guys ever think about that stuff when it comes to me?”, you ask shyly causing them to let out a little chuckle. 

They glance at each other before nodding and Eddie slides back to grab a little bag you didn’t even realize he had brought in with him from the store you had just came from. After digging through it a bit, he produces a little black box, and hands it to you. 

Their eyes carefully watch you pull off the top, trying to gage your reaction as you produce a gorgeous silver ring with a red heart stone in the middle and what seemed like the infinity symbol on either side. 

“After finding our outfits, we saw that jewelry section across the way. Steve liked the design and I liked the color with the stone. Kind of reminded me of a ring in one of the campaigns I read in school. The lady behind the counter said it’s a promise ring. You give them to someone you love as like a promise they are yours and one day you’ll get married.”

“After hearing you talk right now…like you said we know we can’t get married but that right there and these rings right here…”  Eddie handed him one of the male bands that matched the ring they gave you. “They’re a promise that if we could we would.”

“Cry baby.”, the metalhead teases as you try to control the tears that fall. “What are you thinking about now, sweetheart?”

“I think… this is really beautiful.”, you giggle as you slide the ring on your finger. “I still think it’s funny that 2 and half years ago I was telling you, Steve, I hate you and now I’d give anything to walk down the aisle with you. That, Eddie, I didn’t even know who you were but now I can’t picture my life without you. That the best decision I ever made was telling Carol she had no ass and getting detention.”

The three of you laugh as Steve pulled you into his arms. After getting ready for bed, you lay between them with your head on Eddie’s chest as you gently caress his skin along his tattoos. 

“Yes, by the way, to answer your question. I have thought about what a suburban life would be like with you. I’d love to get you a house and not a trailer.”

“With a big backyard like your uncle’s.”, Steve adds.

“We would definitely have some beautiful children running around.”

“At least 6.”

“Jesus Christ, Daddy!” You laugh when you feel his wide smile against your shoulder. 

“I just want you to be happy.”

“As long as I’m with you two I am. Thank you for my ring. I love it. I love you.”, you whisper before your eyes close and you fall sleep. 

############

At first you thought it was a dream; the euphoria you were feeling in the pit of your stomach but when you opened your eyes and were met with Steve’s gorgeous honey ones you realized this was your reality. This handsome man was really pumping two of his long fingers inside of your cunt as his thumb lightly pressed against your clit.

“Hey, honey.”, he smiled down at you. “I woke up hard as a fucking rock but I figured…instead of jerking off…I could use you.” You whimpered as his forehead landed on yours. “Is that ok, baby?”

“Of course, Daddy. I’m yours.”

He tenderly kissed your cheek before rolling you on to your side with your back to his chest. You both groaned as he ran the tip of his already leaking cock along your folds. His palm gripped your hip as he gradually pushed himself inside of you, your eyes immediately rolling in pleasure at the feeling.

“Fuck, baby. You feel so good. Always so warm and ready for Daddy.”

Taking hold of his hand, you cling to him as he thrusts steadily into you. His thumb taps your cheek, gesturing for you to turn so he can passionately kiss your lips. 

“Look at me, pretty girl. Don’t take those beautiful eyes off me.” As you clench around him at his words, a small smirk paints his features. “You—fuck—you always like when Daddy compliments you, don’t you, honey?”

When you only nod, his hand slides over to grip your throat as he rolls his hips harder against you. “What do you do when we ask you a question, little girl?”

“I-I answer. Fuck, Daddy, I’m sorry. You just feel so good. Please…”

“Can’t really blame her, Steve. You know how dumb her cute little brain gets when we’re making her feel good.”

Eddie’s sexy, sleepy voice didn’t surprise you since neither of you were necessarily being quiet but you wanted more than anything to turn and see his handsome face but you knew better. 

Steve’s eyes were intensely boring into yours as if challenging you to do it but you behaved.

“I like when you make me feel beautiful, Daddy. Please. Please make me cum.”

His mouth opened in a silent moan and the sight had you squeezing him tighter as he pounded into you. 

“Fuck, baby girl, you…you can’t do that.” Your fingers threaded through his hair as his forehead fell against your cheek and his humid pants warmed your skin. The dam broke and you whimpered as you came. “That’s my good girl. Yes, baby.” Steve thrust into harder a few more times before you felt his release spill inside of you.

When you were finally able to look at Eddie, you were met with his fingers reaching to brush your hair out of your face. He looked angelic with the way the sun slightly peaked through the window of the hotel room. Giving Steve one more kiss, you scoot closer to the metalhead to place your lips on his. 

“Good morning?”, he asks, chuckling when you grin. 

“Yes, Sir. Do you need to use me to?”

“Fuck me. You can’t say stuff like that so sweetly after what I just witnessed and expect me to last long.”

Giggling, you kiss him again before trailing down his chest to his boxers, smiling when you found his cock poking through, desperate to be relieved. 

“Let me take care of you, Master.”

A heavy sigh of pleasure left his lips at your words followed by a throaty groan as your mouth wrapped around him, taking him as far back as you could before steadily bobbing your head.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Fuck. You know I love hearing you choke on my dick.” Glancing up at him, your eyes locked as he flashed you a sexy smirk. “You look so beautiful with your mouth full of me. Do—mmm—do you like sucking your Master’s cock?” 

Your hand continued to stroke him and your mouth released him with a loud smacking sound as drool dangled from your lips. 

“I do, Sir. I love sucking you cock. You taste so good. Please, I need you to cum so I can swallow it all.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re perfect. Put that pretty mouth on me again, sweetheart. I’ll give you what you need.”

As you do what he says, his fingers pull your hair into a makeshift ponytail so he can see you better as he roughly begins thrusting his hips. You stay still, allowing him to use you as his tip hits the back of your throat. Eddie mewls at the sound of your gags and gurgles before his breathing because ragged and you abruptly feel rope after rope of his release hit your tongue.

When he finally releases you from his grip, you crawl up his body till your lips find his before collapsing against his chest. 

“Hey. Come on, honey. We have to shower and get ready if we’re going to make this play your uncle got us tickets for.”, Steve coos as he pokes you side.

“But I’m comfortable.”, you whine, your body jiggling as Eddie laughs underneath you.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on, pretty girl.”

***

They grin as they watch your eyes come to life entering the theater. 

“Lady and gentlemen, your seats will be up those stairs and to the right. Balcony 3.”

“Oh wow, he didn’t have to do that.”

“Is that good?”, Eddie asks.

“Yeah, we’ll have a good view and it will just be us with a few other people.”

Glancing around, you notice an older couple staring before catching your eyeline and looking away. It took you moment and a few more awkward looks before you realize that they are disgusted with Eddie. You thought he looked handsome as ever with his slacks and button up shirt. While he and Steve were talking he had rolled up his sleeves so some of his tattoos were visible and his long hair flowed freely but he did brush it before you left the hotel. He stood out a bit but not enough for them to be giving him the faces they were as they whispered to each other. 

You tried to ignore it as you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled into his chest but after a while it became almost unbearable for you NOT to say something.

“Excuse me? Yes, hi. If you’re going to keep whispering and making faces I suggest you do it somewhere else.”

“Excuse me! How rude.”

“No, what’s rude is you disrespecting my boyfriend. He’s not doing anything wrong.”

“Kids today. They have no idea how to dress properly nor do they have manners.” They give you and the metalhead one more once over before turning on their heels and heading into the auditorium.

“So…we should have been in New York all this time? Damn, babe. Where did that confidence come from?”, Steve chuckled.

“Ugh! They just remind me of people back home. I wish people could see you like I do.” You circle your arms around him again making Eddie smile.

“Eh, I don’t care what anybody else thinks except you, sweetheart.”

 ###############

While they did enjoy the performance, they enjoyed you more. Eddie finally got to see what Steve was talking about when he told him about that date he took you on back in Hawkins senior year. 

“Dude, she’s so fucking adorable. Her eyes soak up everything and she giggles like a little kid. It’s almost like she forgets she’s watching a play and just gets sucked into the world. Watching it with her THROUGH her eyes…Jesus. I can’t even explain it, man.

After picking up lunch, you three were able to relax a bit before your evening out with your cousin who picked you three up in her car with her boyfriend in tow. 

“Ok, first stop is where my cousin and I always snuck off to when my parents thought we were just hanging out with friends. Which technically isn’t untrue since one my friends live above this store.”, Nat explains as she parks.

You five don’t need to walk far before the boys read the neon above them. 

“Oh, Y/N. You have so many stories you haven’t told us don’t you?”, Eddie grins in your direction. 

“It’s not like I could buy anything or bring anything home. BUT…now that we have our own apartment…”, you seductively smile back.

As you enter the sex shop, you all split up to different sections being that you and your cousin were into different things. You knew when you planned this trip for them you wanted to bring them here because you remembered they had something specific you thought would make a certain part of your playing with the boys a bit easier.

“I know, Sir, you’ve been looking for something more comfortable for my wrists which is hard in our close-minded town but…”, you paused gesturing towards the wall of handcuffs. “I figured we’d have more options here. At most, maybe, we can get a bigger set and then some scarfs or something.”

“Goddamn, you’ve come a long way, haven’t you, honey? I mean it’s not like you were a prude or anything but, I don’t know, you talk about stuff like this more seamlessly now.”

“So do you two.”, you grin as you shrug. “I think it’s just because I trust you more. That was part of the problem before. I didn’t know anything about you two.” You hold out your wrist as Eddie grabs a couple of handcuffs and tests them on you. “Also my parents were sexually conservative. ‘The penis goes into the vagina and then a baby is made.’ That was my birds and bees talk. Ow.”

“Sorry, princess. These are a no.” Eddie hangs the set he had tried to put on you back on the wall and reaches for the next one. “Yeah, Wayne had some difficulties to. I got the basics and then him correcting whatever my father told me.”, he laughs. 

“I learned on my own basically by trial and error. Then whatever they showed us in health class.” Steve wraps his arms around you as he leans his chin on your head. “You know, I don’t think we’ve ever asked this but when or what made you realize you like this?”

“Those feel ok. The fuzzy stuff on top might be distracting.”, you grimace and that’s all the confirmation the metalhead needs to put them back. “What about those leather ones up top there? You did kind of ask me after I came back home senior year. I told you I just knew I didn’t like what I had before and that’s honestly the best way I can answer your question.” You smile as you tilt your head back to kiss his lips. “I didn’t even really think about this until… you scolded me that day in detention.”

You hadn’t even realized that Eddie hadn’t moved for the past couple of minutes but he did have a small smirk on his face. Thinking he was waiting for you to hold out your arms again you did only to find your wrists were already restrained. 

“You didn’t even notice I put them on, did you?”

“Oh wow. No, I didn’t. They aren’t too tight or anything.”, you grin. 

“Well, little one, I think we finally found a winner.” He grins along with you as you jump up to kiss his lips. 

“Is there anything you guys want for you or something else you want to try on me?”

“You know, since we’re having that conversation…when we started this you had no idea what you liked and didn’t like. Do you have more of an idea now?”, Eddie asks.

“IIIII like the way you talk to me. I like the spanking and the handcuffing obviously.”

“Obviously.”, Steve teases.

“What about the belt? We’ve only ever done it that one time. Harrington said you liked it.”

“In the moment, I did. I don’t mind it when you’re punishing me. I don’t think I could do like…that stuff.” They turn to where you point down an adjacent aisle filled with things like whips and flogs. “I like when you two take control and then finding ways to work with what you have.” You whine as you try to explain, covering your face in embarrassment.

“No, no. Hey, I really want you to explain that because I find it interesting. Go on, baby.”, Eddie encourages as Steve tenderly pulls your hands back down. 

“Like with the belt. You punished me with it because it’s what you had and you knew it would work. Fuck. Watching you pull it off in one go…”, you close your eyes as you sigh in pleasure at the memory. “To me that’s more attractive than pausing to go get something like that.” Again, you gesture down the aisle. 

The metalhead’s lips connected with yours once more but it was a soft kiss filled with nothing but love.

“All these years and still surprising me.”

“Still so fascinating.”, Steve adds. 

***

This time you got to watch their eyes light up with excitement when you entered your next destination. This particular bar you and your cousin had always wanted to go to but were never able to get in. Now that you could and were visiting, you finally got the chance. The band on stage was playing a cover of “Crazy Train” causing Eddie to slap Steve’s arm and give him trivia you had heard him telling the former jock before. He was so flabbergasted when he found out he didn’t know who Ozzy Osbourne was.

Your cousin’s boyfriend ordered a round of drinks while you guys found a table near the edge of the dance floor/ mosh pit where you guys could sit and talk.  The metalhead’s wide, ecstatic eyes looked at yours as Billy Idol’s “Dancing with Myself” began to play and he promptly grabbed your arm, yanking you and Steve as you three danced wildly. You heard your cousin’s loud laugh as her and her boyfriend followed making you smile. 

You absolutely adored seeing this side of them; the fun side that just completely let go. You did this for them in many different ways and allowed yourself to be vulnerable for them especially in the bedroom. The fact that they could do that as well just made your love them grow. If you went back in time and met the girl who had just been intimate with them for the first time and told her that the aggressive seemingly angry metalhead and the uptight asshole who was friends with the people that made fun of you would turn into two of the sweetest, funniest, dorkiest men that you had ever met… 

The music changes to a song you and surprising Steve knows but you’re shocked when Eddie grips your hand in the air and tugs your waist to his as he sings along.

“The lights are on, but you're not home Your mind is not your own Your heart sweats, your body shakes Another kiss is what it takes You can't sleep, you can't eat.”

“How do you know this song?!”, you giggle as he flashes you a big tooth filled smile. 

“There's no doubt, you're in deep Your throat is tight, you can't breathe Another kiss is all you need.”

“I work in at a record store remember, sweetheart?”

The metalhead playfully twirls you into Steve’s arms who holds you the exact same way as he sways and sings.

“Another kiss and you'll be mine A one-track mind, you can't be saved Oblivion is all you crave If there's some left for you You don't mind if you do.

It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love.”

You cousin grabs your arm after announcing she needed to use the bathroom and you laugh as you watch them pause to watch you leave before continuing to dance like idiots beside each other. 

“I have your thing in the trunk of my car. I’ll give it to you when we drop you guys off.”, Nat grins as she fixes some of her make up in the mirror. “Kevin saw you guys in the handcuff section and asked me if I’d be into that. He said he wanted to talk to them about it when we weren’t around.”

You both laugh as you sit on the counter and continue to watch her. “It’s taken us years to even find some that fit my chubby wrists or don’t hurt me.”

“Isn’t that the point? For it to hurt?”

“Nooooo… Natalie, who have you been talking to?” She grins widely as you blush. “No, they don’t want to hurt me. They want me to submit, to give my entire body and soul to them; to trust them.”

“Do you?”

“I do and I know it’s kind of weird but they do to. I mean, think about it. They were vulnerable enough to let me into their dominate world without judgement and after everything they’ve been through—”

“And you… I remember how sad Christian made you.”

After feeling like you gave the boys enough time to have their conversation, you two exited the bathroom hand in hand before accidently bumping into a group of guys passing by.

“Shit. I’m so sorry. My hips have a mind of their own sometimes.”, you apologize with a polite smile. As you turn to leave, however, a hand places itself on your shoulder.

“Not a problem, baby. You can put those hips to good use if you want to for me in the restroom over here.”

Rolling your eyes, you yank your body away from his as you try to push your cousin back towards you table.

“Oh, come on, it was just a joke—”

“Hey! Do we have a problem, gentlemen?”, Eddie barked as he glared at the men in front of him. “Trust me, it was definitely a joke thinking little boys like you could handle a beautiful woman like her. She needs a grown ass man and she’s already got two.”

They hold up their hands in a surrender gesture as the metalhead guides you both to your area. 

“Wow, Eddie. Kevin, you’re going to end up hating them because the more I spend time with them the more they raise the bar for what I expect out of a gentleman.”

Her boyfriend chuckles as he leans down to kiss her lips. “For you, honey, I’ll meet and surpass any bar as long as your happy.”

Eddie takes your hand in his as you lean your chin against his shoulder. “Thank you, Sir.”

##############

“Baby girl! You have been in the bathroom for twenty minutes with this thing you got from your cousin. Should we be worried or jealous?!”

“Calm down, Daddy!”, you giggle as you finish threading everything together. “I’m almost done.”

“Did she just tell me to calm down?”

“She did. I have my belt on if you want to spank her.”

“You do it. I’m too old and tired.” Steve smiles when he hears you laugh again at his comment. 

“Ok! I’m ready! Sir, push play on the radio, please!”

Lazily, he gets up from the bed and does what you ask, leaning against the window as he takes a sip from the beer can in his hand. As “Pour Some Sugar on Me” begins to flow from the little crackling speakers your leg steps out over dramatically from the bathroom making them both laugh.

When you fully saunter out, however, time seems to freeze for them. A few months prior your cousin had gotten a catalogue for the store you guys had visited and sent it over to you in Indiana. While the boys were at work, you browsed the sexy garments until you found one you thought they would like, ordering it, and sending it to Natalie so she could keep it hidden for you with the goal of surprising them. 

Your legs and arms were covered in black mesh material that were perfectly accentuated by the silver heels and bracelets on your wrists. The flower pattern lace around your thighs were clipped in place, attached to the see-through black lace panties hugged perfectly around your hips. Your breasts were covered by a silver, sequined bra that was being slightly obscured by your long, flowing, fluffed up sexily hair that was topped with a black top hat tilted to the side. The silver sequined chocker around your neck drew attention to your face that you had spent time putting make up on to finish out the ensemble.

“Jesus Christ.”, Steve groaned. 

With a sexy smile stretched across your face, you sway in his direction reaching your hands out to run your fingers down his chest. 

“Do you like it, Daddy?” Kneeling on your heels, your palms run down his jeaned thighs as your face hovers just above the massive bulge in his pants. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Standing to your full height, you make sure your breasts graze his face ever so slightly before turning to give Eddie your attention. The whine Steve tries to hide as you step away from him makes you bite your bottom lip to hide your own moan. 

“What about you, Sir? Do you like it?” You had never seen either of them like this before but especially Eddie. He had been talking pretty much since you met him but this was the first time you had ever found him speechless. Taking his hands in yours, you turned away and pushed your ass into his groin. “Aw. Master reallylikes it.”

As you swiveled around to face him again, your nose grazed his as you reached over to turn off the music. Growing up you never really felt like you had any control over your life. Your parents had a strict mindset on what they wanted for you and how you should be. At school you always felt stuck at the bottom, constantly bullied and ridiculed by the student body. In relationships, you always wanted more, always feeling stifled and hidden. An outsider would think your relationship with the boys was the same; that you had no control. But the truth was you had all the power here.

As you heard Steve’s breathing pick up and watched Eddie’s eyes slowly darken with need, even they knew you could turn away from them and leave. You could say the safe word and decide that tonight you weren’t in the mood. You could rile them up and leave them wanting…and they would respect that still crawling into bed with you as they cuddled you till you fell asleep.

You chose to surrender that will to them because you loved them and wanted them to have that control over you. 

As soon as you nodded, the metalhead’s hand shot out to bring your lips to his for a passionate kiss as his other palm reaches between your legs making you mewl as the lacey fabric presses into your clit.

“Please. Touch me.”

“Show me. Show me what you need.”  His gruff tone turns you on more knowing that when he speaks like that they don’t plan on being gentle. Sliding your fingers into your panties, you moan at the sound of your slick as you thrust two of them into your core. Eddie licks his lips as he watches your face contort with pleasure, quickly throwing off his clothes and spitting in his hand as he strokes his cock. 

“Please, Sir. I need you, baby.”

Grabbing your hair, he roughly turns you around, raising the blinds as he presses you to the window. You guys were pretty high up so not a lot of eyes should be on you but you were in a city filled with buildings that practically touched the sky. 

Kicking your legs apart, you whimpered as he pushed himself into you before reaching for your wrists and pinning your hands to the window. 

“Always so needy, baby. Fuck me. Master’s going to give you what you want. How…how can I deny you when you look so fucking delicious in this outfit.”

Your breath fogged the glass as you panted out moans. Gripping your throat, his hips loudly smacked into yours as you looked out in front of you. 

“Cum for me, pretty girl. Hawkins already know how well we take care of you. L-Let’s show New York to.” Eddie’s fingers glided between your legs and he firmly pressed circles into your nub causing you to roll your lower half meeting his movements. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Y-yes, Sir!” Your pussy clenched tightly around him as you came, whimpering when he didn’t slow as he fucked you through it.

“Goddamn.” Wrapping his arms around you, he yanked you away from the window and threw you to the bed where a naked Steve was stroking his length as he watched you two. You gasped as Eddie’s tongue abruptly flicked against your clit as he shoved three of his long fingers inside of you. 

“Eddie!”

His head shot up at his name but Steve was faster as his palm aggressively grabbed your neck. 

“Color?”

“G-g-green, Daddy. Fuck, I’m sorry! I wasn’t rea—”

“I don’t care. You show us the respect we deserve, right little girl? Right?!”, he snapped as the metalhead pumped into you while his tongue moved faster making it hard for you to focus. 

“Yes, Daddy. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Sir.”

Lifting up your legs, he guided his cock easily into your dripping entrance and began thrusting into you slowly, grunting as your walls sucked him in. Eddie’s hands roamed the material around your calf as he pressed his cheek against it.

“Mmm…fuck. Our sexy, beautiful girl. All ours.” A loud growl left his chest as he pried your legs open wide and pumped into you at a faster, harder pace. Hands above you suddenly took hold of your ankles bringing them back ever so slightly allowing Eddie to hit deeper inside of you. Your eyes briefly found Steve’s as the rolled back and closed. 

Feeling his cock brush against your nose, you tilted your head so you could run your tongue along the side. He maneuvered his hips to give you better access while still being able to hold you for his friend. 

“That’s it, baby. Fuck. Still a little slut for our dicks, huh? I think we spoil her, Ed.” Eddie barely heard him as he was lost in you trying to pull another orgasm from your body. “I’m not gonna lie, honey. Seeing—mmm—seeing that thing around your neck move every time I touch the back of your throat is driving me fucking crazy.”

The metalhead pushed Steve lightly against his stomach and the boy backed away as Eddie fell forward against and slammed his hips into yours. Your fingers clung to his shoulders as you moaned his title; the louder you were the harder he thrust into you. His hand covered your mouth as you screamed and came. He didn’t slow as he chased his high until his pleasure filled grunts filled your ear as he released inside of you.

You held him tightly as you began to cry.

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey, princess. Color?”, Eddie cooed as he leaned up to caress your face.

“Green. Green I swear. You just…it was so good.”

He smiled as his lips landed on yours. “Cry baby. Do you think you can handle Steve?”

You nodded and as his brown eyes met yours he knew you were still in the right place mentally. You were actually in Steve’s favorite part of your subspace, the overly sensitive little girl that needed her Daddy. 

He climbed in beside you and you rolled on your side so you could face him, humming softly as he ran his fingers through your hair. 

“You had a hat on at some point.”, he mused, grinning when you giggled as he pretended to look around.

“I think it fell off when Master pushed me against the window.”

“Bastard.”

“My bad.”, Eddie sighed playfully.

His large palm slides down your back, over the ass, and to the back of your thigh as he guided your leg over his waist.

“You don’t have to be gentle with me if you don’t want to, Daddy. I can handle it.”

Steve blinks a few times before he smirks in your direct and tugs your body a bit close to his. “Hey, Ed?”

“Stevie?”

“I think we may have to start setting up a particular punishment when it comes to repeating ourselves because little miss here still seems to struggle hearing us when it comes to what she and we can handle.” His hand spanks your behind hard making you yelp. “What has Eddie told you?”

“That you know your body and mine. You would never put me in a position where you or I would be hurt or uncomfortable but if something happened, Daddy, where I did feel uncomfortable I would say our safe word.”

“Good girl, honey.” You happily exhale when he kisses your forehead. “You trust us to know how to take care of you right?”

“Yes, Daddy, I trust you both.”

Bringing his lips to your own, you mewl at the taste of him before a gasp escapes you as he slides his cock into your cunt. This is what Steve was good at, the slow and rough. As he flipped you on to your back, he pulled himself back till just his tip was inside of you, and watched your face as he punched back into you. Just like Eddie, he hit every button inside of you the right way till you were a trembling mess. 

“Does that feel good, baby?”

“Y-yes, Daddy.”

“See? Daddy knows how to take care of you.” His tongue traced the valley between your breasts to your neck where he sucked at skin making you groan as your ran your fingers through his hair. “Fuck, baby girl. I love how tight you get after your cum. If I could I’d make you cum again and again but I don’t know how much long I’m going to last. You just look too fucking good in this.”

As much as you loved how they both made you feel, you were grateful he couldn’t give you more. You could barely handle the one you currently hurtling towards. 

“Maybe your Master can help me.”

It almost as if they had planned it beforehand. Steve lifted up on his arms as Eddie slid his own between you two so his fingers could massage your clit. They barely gave you time to breathe as they worked in tandem to build you up. The leg you had wrapped around him fell as your body shook and your vision was blinded by white.

“There she is. That’s our good girl. Fuck and your pussy is squeezing me so fucking tight.”

“Daddy…please… I can’t…”

“Yes, you can, honey. Eddie don’t stop until she cums again one more time.”, he commanded. 

“Wasn’t planning on it unless told otherwise.”

Their pace didn’t let up and you were so sensitive you knew they’d get another orgasm out of you at this rate. 

“Come on, baby. Daddy needs you to cum again. You can do it.”

“I-I-I can’t…I need…”

Steve caught it in your voice as he looked down at your scrunched up, pouty face. Putting all his weight on one arm, he reached up with his other to wrap around your throat.

“Stop pouting, little girl. It doesn’t sound like to me we were asking. Maybe we’ve spoiled you too much, huh?” Steve hissed through gritted teeth. “Stop acting like you don’t want to cum again. You love the way my cock and his fingers feel, you little whore. Now…fucking…cum.”

Between each of his words in his last sentence he smacked his hips aggressively into yours. That mixed with everything else he was saying was all you needed as Eddie covered your mouth once more and you came hard around Steve’s cock.

That was all he needed as well as his rhythm faltered and he grunted as he thrust his seed inside of you. 

“So yeah, this will be coming home with us.”, the metalhead proclaimed as he lightly slapped your thigh. You and Steve laugh as he tried to carefully pull out of you and fell to your side. “Not that you need to hear this but I’m proud of you for taking the initiative to buy it and wear it. It was only, what, a year ago that you were blushing while wearing a nightie thinking you looked unattractive.”

“You really do look gorgeous in stuff like this, honey.”

“Thank you.”

Eddie turned to glance over at you realizing you were half awake with a glazed over look of bliss. “Op, Steve, we may still be dealing with little miss here.”

“She’s always little miss, Ed.”

You giggled at their banter as you rolled over to face Eddie. “Sir, I’m sleepy.”

“You’re sleepy? Alright, so no shower then but I want to get you out of thing here. Wait, Y/N, baby, you have to stand to take the make-up off.” Your eyes fully open as you look at him quizzically. “Right? I thought you told Steve once it’s bad to leave it on overnight.”

“I love you.”, you grin as you lean towards him to kiss his lips. 

“Pfft, ok. I love you to, cry baby.” He rises from the bed and tugs at your hands to bring you with him as you groan. “Come on. Let’s do this quick so you can crash.”

While you stand in front of the sink in the bathroom, both men scurry quickly around you to get you out of your outfit and help you wash your face.

“So beautiful.”, Steve smiles as he looks down lovingly at your now make-up free features. 

After bringing you back, they climb under the covers with you and tenderly run their hands along your skin, murmuring praises and “I love you”s till you fall asleep. 

#############

@manda-panda-monium @sherrylyn628 @eddiesguitarskills

@needylilgal022 @local-stoner-bitch @katethetank @strangerfreak

@sidthedollface2 @justanotheryn @pedropascalslilbaby

@marsupiooo @mandyjo8719 @bexreadstoomuch

@chelebelletx @perdopascalslilbaby @shayeddie @anaibis

@wroteclassicaly @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

@siriuslysmoking @raptorbait529 @miarosso @micheledawn1975

@paleidiot @mrsjellymunson

[mrsaltieri-real]

His Perfect Victim (Mickey Altieri x OC!Dahlia Levine)

Chapter Two: Stay Away

Word count: Almost 2.5k

Warnings: again not really any warnings, language, Mickey being a bit of an ass,a little angst, Dahlia being in denial about wanting him, etc

Chapter two already? I know. I’m going in on this fic. Updates won’t be this quick, I’m just really into it right now and can’t seem to stop myself. This chapters a little longer than the first but Chapter three will be a lot heavier and contain some smut, but trust me, it’s not what you think at all.

Edited and Beta Read by @bisexual-horror-fan who is already such a lover of Dahlia and that warms my cold dead heart so fucking much. Lotta love for you dude <3 and thank you!

Anyways on that note, let’s go!

Here’s my girl! I love her

It had been a few weeks since Sidney had introduced me to the friend group and although I still didn’t feel myself, or rather myself before the mess back in Woodsboro, things were slowly starting to get better. Instead of being zombified it was more like something or someone was gradually breathing life back into me again. It was an odd feeling, as if my lungs were permanently in a state of exhalation and now, after seemingly ages, I could inhale, even if not fully yet, it is a relief, a welcome one. I try to focus on the good, even if it is a fight and a real struggle some days.

It was easy to bond with Hallie, she was sweet and charming, she instantly made me feel completely at ease around her. Luckily for me she was chatty so I rarely had to add much of anything to the conversation other than just nodding my head as she talked away and gasping in the appropriate places.

Derek was kind enough, always smiling politely and asking how I was doing. Over the course of the few weeks I’d known him, I noticed he’d not so subtly ask me questions about Sid. Nothing personal, just random curious little inquiries like what her favourite colour, periwinkle, or flowers, snapdragons, were information I had from knowing her for so long, the questions innocuous enough I answered them easily. Of course, it was fairly obvious he liked her and I could tell she liked him too, but just wasn’t sure how to go about it after everything with Billy.

“I just don’t know if it’s the right time, you know?” She’d told me in the quad, anxiously biting at her nails, brows creased with worry. “It’s too soon, right?”

“If it’s right then it’s right.” I’d said with a small shrug, “But if it’s any consolation, he likes you too.”

I’d noticed the small smile flash across her face before she hastily changed the subject. She stops chewing her nail and shakes her hand out before tucking some hair behind her ear, switching the focus back to me, “So what about you?”

“What about me?”

Her expression turns softer but is still tinged with concern. “Have you, you know, met anyone?”

It was hard to hold back the laugh building in my chest as I looked at her with raised eyebrows. “God, no.” I said, my eyes catching him in the same second.

I’d never met anyone quite as cunty or insufferable as Mickey. He was an asshole, cocky and almost arrogant with the way he walked around like he owned the place. Although, I had to admit it did make him more endearing. He shared the same passion for movies and the same film class as Randy, yet in a lot of ways they were the complete dead opposite of one another.

To put it nicely, Mickey was a bit of a whore. He was attractive, he knew he was and he seemed to enjoy using that to his advantage, playing into it heavily.

Sidney noticed my brief distraction and turned her head to see what I was looking at, a small smile on her face as she turned back to me. “Really? Not even Mickey?”

“Especially not Mickey.” I insisted with an eyeroll. “He’s the exact opposite of what I need right now.”

I hoped I wasn’t protesting too much. My communication with Mickey wasn’t much. As a matter of fact I decided it was best to stay as far away from him as possible. There was just something about the way he looked at me, whilst at first magnetic it quickly made me tense. I’d grow paranoid, thinking those damn brown eyes were on me no matter where I went or who I was with.

It was fucking annoying.

Over the course of the few weeks I’d known him I decided I didn’t like him at all. Of course this would prove to be completely untrue, but my initial reaction to him?

Hate. It had to be hate, what else could it be?

I hated his attitude, the way he automatically expected me to fall at his feet. I hated the subtle flirting that nobody but me seemed to notice. The way he’d ‘accidentally’ brush my hand if I had to sit next to him or his fingers would grip my hips when he just had to move past me in a space where it was completely unnecessary to do so.

But most of all? I hated how whenever he was around me he seemed to awaken something inside of me I thought was long dead and buried.

I internally kicked myself when Mickey’s eye caught mine and a cocky smile overtook his face and he began to walk over, that stupid camera still clutched between his fingers.

“Sid, Derek is looking for you.” He said once close enough, loosely gesturing to where Derek was standing behind him by a few feet, looking a little anxious. Mickey’s eyes stayed locked on me the entire time however, something that Sidney either refused to or just outright didn’t notice.

“Oh, God yeah we have plans. You gonna be-“ I cut Sidney off with a warm smile and quick nod and she grabbed her backpack and she got up and walked with a small bounce in her step toward Derek.

Good for her.

I bent down to pick up my bag, trying desperately to get away from Mickey as quickly as possible as he spoke, “You don’t like me much, do you?”

That surprised me. I paused for a second before slowly straightening up and looking at him incredulously. He didn’t say it in an insecure or disappointed kind of way, he said it almost as if he found the very concept of me disliking him hilarious. “Why do you care?” I retorted, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

“I don’t,” He replied with a small upturn of his shoulders. “I am however curious as to why.”

I couldn’t stop the laugh from bursting through my lips as I crossed my arms tight across my chest and looked up at him as he leaned easily against the wall. “You really don’t want to open up that can of worms.”

This made him chuckle a little, head tilting just slightly to the side as his eyes roamed over me the way they always seemed to when he was around me.

“Stop looking at me like that.” I snapped, arms dropping to my sides.

“I will when you stop enjoying it so much.” He shot back, that stupid fucking amused edge to his voice.

“You are aware not everyone wants you, right?” I muttered as I turned to walk away from him.

“And what makes you think I want you?”

I decided not to give him a reaction, simply walking away without acknowledging he even said anything.

He called after me, just my name, loud and clear, “Dahlia.”

God, why did he have to sound so good saying my name?

He caught up with me easily in just a few strides and I flinched away from him when I felt his warm hand lightly gripped my upper arm, an action that I noticed made him drop his hand in the same second. “Can I just ask you something?”

I eyed him a little, pausing as my arms wrapped around myself again. “Depends.” I said sceptically. God knows what he wanted to ask me. The first interaction I knew of consisted of him bluntly asking if- “I was the chick that died”, so I had very little faith that anything he could possibly be thinking of asking would be in any way appropriate.

“What’s with you?

I blinked at him dumbfounded. That’s not what I expected.

“I…Uhm. What?” I stumbled over my words and he laughed at my surprised face.

He was playing with the camera in his hand, flipping the side open and closed, “I asked what’s with you? Call me observant, not to be rude I just noticed that you’re kinda…”

“Dead inside?” I finished for him, face settling back into the emotionless mask I’d grown comfortable wearing these last months. “Yeah, I know.”

He looked mildly surprised at my words, shaking his head from side to side. “No I-“

“I don’t care what you were going to say,” I couldn’t help but snap at him and cut him off, getting more and more pissed off with how bold he was. He was totally infuriating. Who the hell was he? I hardly knew him and he had the audacity to waltz over here and be condescending and arrogant, “Can you please just stay the fuck away from me?”

About to turn from him again he piped up in response with, “Yeah sure. See you tonight.”

I stopped for what felt like the millionth time, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Party tonight that Hallie’s throwing in hers and Sidney’s dorm.” He responded simply, not seeming at all phased by me telling him to stay away from me. I know now that he was in fact blatantly ignoring that wish, “What, didn’t she tell you?”

“Fuck.” I muttered under my breath as I finally turned away, wanting to get away, leave this interaction sooner rather than later, before speaking clearly, “Yeah, she told me. I’m not going.”

Still turned away, unmoving, as if his constant questioning had me glued to the spot, he asked, “Why?”

“Because if you’re not going to stay away from me I’m going to do my damndest to stay the hell away from you.” I turned my head to the side slightly as I responded to him, venom still apparent in my tone. My eye caught his face and I wanted to curse.

There it was again. That stupid fucking smile that made me want to peel off my own skin as I finally willed myself to get away and stormed off. It was surprisingly difficult to look away from him. God, why did he have to be so good looking? Even looking at him then, full of hate, a small part of me knew I wanted him in any way I could have him but I pushed those feelings deep down inside, never wanting them to see the light of day.

It was strange, feeling this way. I hadn’t felt anything in so long. Something about Mickey just seemed to revive me, forcing me bit by bit to come back to life. I hated that he had this effect on me and how easy it was for him to make me feel like this when I hardly even knew him. The anger it made me feel is completely indescribable.

“Dahlia,” he spoke my name again, the way it sounded coming from him being just as delicious as before. He caught up to me quickly, hand darting down and circling my wrist, easily twisting me around to look at him. His hypnotic brown eyes looked into mine as he stood over me, tall and almost intimidating.

I couldn’t pull away. Why the hell couldn't I pull away? It was like my feet were one with the concrete, having no choice but to stand there and look up at him completely dumbfounded, which he of course clearly found hilarious by the way his lips curled up.

“You’re not gonna be able to stay away from me forever.” He said it gently, dropping my wrist and looking me over once more.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, watching him walk away whilst remaining frozen in place. I could hear the pulse drumming in my ears rapidly and I quickly shook my head, trying to snap the hell out of it.

What was wrong with me? I didn’t know him, didn’t know anything about him. Why did part of me want to change that? It is a truly terrible idea, an awful thing to want to indulge in, I can’t do it.

I ran a hand through my hair, sighing as I finally managed to move again, twisting round to see Randy stood a few feet away, looking utterly confused. Great. How much of that did he see?

“Hey.” I approached him, smiling as warmly as I could muster. Now Mickey wasn’t in sight, all the feeling had gone along with him. I thought about that for a split second as I stopped in front of Randy, the blue eyed boy still looking baffled.

“Hey, you alright?“ His eyes flickered up toward the direction Mickey had left in and back to me, expression turning concerned, “What did he want?“

“Oh, it’s nothing.” I responded with a dismissive wave of my hand, “Are you going to Hallie’s party tonight?”

Randy didn’t look convinced but probably knew better than to press the question. I know he would with anyone else but him watching me deteriorate after Stu had quickly made him take an absurd amount of notice into my feelings.

“Yeah, I was gonna make an appearance. You better be going too, Hallie will kick your ass if you don’t.”

I knew he was only half joking.

I was thoughtful for a second, mind automatically flipping back to Mickey’s words, “You’re not gonna be able to stay away from me forever.”

The fuck was that supposed to mean? Once again, it was like he knew something I didn’t and it was driving me insane. How could someone I’d hardly spoken to and don’t know have this much of an impact on me? Everything about him screamed “stay the fuck away” like alarm bells in my head but even then, I knew he was right.

“Dahlia?” Randy’s hand waved in front of my face and I reached up, batting it away lightly which made him laugh lightly before asking again if I’d be going. Maybe I should be resigned to my current fate.

“Oh, yeah,” I said with a smile, a real smile for the first time in god knows how long, “I wouldn’t miss it.”

Chapter Three HERE

[shobhita123]

Toru Watanabe is not great

The narrator's initial hypersensitivity to a Beatles song playing doesn't just open a portal to nostalgia. No, it rockets him into a disorienting psychic rupture as evidenced by him gripping his head on his flight to Germany. It yanks him into associated memories- Toru Watanabe is highly attuned to his environment yet too stuck inside a loop of rumination. He is a prisoner of his own unresolved perception- he polishes his trauma until it shies and calls it truth. You see it best in his description of the meadows scene with Naoko: "One long streak of cloud hung pasted over a dome of frozen blue". The image infantilises Toru and regresses him into aestheticising his yearning. The scene becomes a juvenile diary entry- artistic, yes, but with all the rotten angst of a 19 year old.

The metaphor used of "shadows lengthening at dusk" reflects Toru's own cherished memory retreating into darkness. This is death symbolised- prized possessions in decay; an hourglass bleeding sand into a void- not ticking, but hemorrhaging, only endless slippage of the inevitable. The light is a passive victim here. Bit by bit, the black devours its eviscerated body.

What Naoko says- "‘I feel like I’m cold inside,’- it's easy for the reader to skim over as just plain dialogue, especially the pauses- the way her voice stumbles through unspeakable terrain. Her mind stutters on what language can't carry. But if the reader examines what's not being said, they witness her undergoing a Sisyphean struggle against depression. As the scene comes to an end, Toru's choice of metaphor also festers ("with all the desperate intensity of a starving man sucking on bones"). This is what foreshadowing looks like when you have to drag it kicking and screaming from underneath the table- as if what follows won't be just a love story or a tragedy but rather a post mortem while the corpse is still warm; a devastating grief that swears emotional wreckage. And Watanabe? He's the one to watch out for, really. The way he minimises Naoko's internal conflict and subtly manipulates her into agreeing to "stick with him"? It's a necrophilia of the soul. Toru is the shapeshifting undead, a narcissist in drag and he doesn't even know it- which makes him more dangerous than he looks.

[sapphicvqmpires]

❁ཻུ۪۪♡ for you, i’ll try

Pairing - shuri x black fem!reader

Word Count - 9k (listen…)

Contains - smut (18+), dom!shuri, sub!reader, fingering, thigh riding, cunnilingus, strap on, kimoyo bead sex toy, degradation, choking, throat fucking, angst (reader is really going through it), minimal fluff (if you squint real damn hard), cheating, mean!shuri, fuckgirl!shuri, crybaby!reader (she cries like 90% of the story, but cut her some slack lolll)

Key Words - nkosazana (princess), sthandwa (baby)

Divider From - @firefly-graphics

Sneak Peak - You weren’t even exactly sure how you got in this position; pinned to the wall, completely under Shuri’s dominion. Your intention was to visit Shuri and talk to her about the problems you were having with your girlfriend, Kiyahnna. But Shuri was starting to get aggravated, annoyed with the way you consistently ran back to Kiyahnna even though she treated you so poorly. She was sick of hearing you rant and complain about problems you were too afraid to run away from when all she wanted was to shut your pretty mouth up and put it to good use

Song Vibes - get even (dvsn)

Tags - @inmyheadimobsessed @abenomeiiii @amplifiedmoan @heejayy @shurismainbxtch @shuriszn @shurislover @naomis-daydream @prettymrswright @pinkwright @gardenof-venus @vys-intentions @tiii-iiiiii @vampzxi @zayswriting @chunkybabygorl

Writers Note: I was definitely heavily inspired by @inmyheadimobsessed and “Lies About How I Hate You”, Lyric really ate that up and left all of us speechless!! Shout out to you boo. This is for the WHORES.

❁ཻུ۪۪♡ The room around you fades into a blur, your breathless pants becoming more and more agonizing as you find yourself pinned to the wall beneath Shuri’s menacing demeanor. Her palm firmly placed around your throat had you squirming, your face melting into your pleasure as Shuri played with your pussy over the fabric of your yoga pants. Her fingers glided through your juicy slit, causing the thick spandex to graze your clit. A pitiful moan escaped your throat and Shuri grinned in pride, her perfect teeth subtly piercing through her salivating lips.

You weren’t even exactly sure how you got in this position; pinned to the wall, completely under Shuri’s dominion. Your intention was to visit Shuri and talk to her about the problems you were having with your girlfriend, Kiyahnna. But Shuri was starting to get aggravated, annoyed with the way you consistently ran back to Kiyahnna even though she treated you so poorly. She was sick of hearing you rant and complain about problems you were too afraid to run away from when all she wanted was to shut your pretty mouth up and put it to good use.

Your trailing thoughts were interrupted as Shuri playfully hoisted you up by your throat, leaving you on your tippy toes as the oxygen struggled to enter your confined lungs. Your moans became heavier as she pushed further into your clit, sending a wave of heat beating through the nerves that surround it.

“Shuri,” you moaned, unable to withhold the feeling coursing from the pit of your stomach down to your soaking cunt. Shuri said nothing with her mouth but her eyes told the story. They were hungry, provoking, her eyebrows furrowing together as she slipped her hand underneath your yoga pants and panties. She did not strip you down, you were still fully clothed, but something about the feeling of Shuri toying with you while you were completely covered made you throb. She slid her fingers down your slit once more, and she cursed at the feeling of your bare flesh.

“Fuck, y/n.”

“Sh-Shuri.”

“Yes princess, just like that. Say my name. I wanna hear it.” She took her middle and ring fingers and pushed them into your snug entrance. You were tight, and you clenched around her as she pushed further into you. You were still on your tippy toes, upheld by Shuri’s tattooed-choking hand. She pushed and pushed, your inner lining began to spasm as she rubbed against you. Your moans were so soft yet soiled with impurity as you looked directly into Shuri’s eyes.

“You’re so fucking tight, y/n, damn. Are you always this tight?”

“Shuri.”

You couldn’t answer, her aggressive thrusts forbade you. Shuri loosened her grip around your throat, allowing your feet to fully come back to the ground. It wasn’t too long before you realized she had completely stopped moving her fingers, and you were just riding her out as she watched and enjoyed the sight and sound of you. You slammed onto her a few more times, finally liberating your fluids all over Shuri’s hand and your brand new yoga pants.

“Shuri, oh my god, oh my god, Shuri. Mmmm. Yeah.”

She removed her hand from your wet pussy, licking her hand clean and your hole tightened at the sight.

“You taste good,” she beamed, leaning into you as she took your lips onto hers. “Bet it tastes better if you spill directly in my mouth.” You gave into her kiss completely, wrapping your arms around her neck as she gripped your waist. Her hold was addicting, a whiff of nicotine you found yourself breathing in. But the feeling didn’t last long. You remembered who you were, who she was, and you were forcefully brought back to your miserable reality. “Shit,” you curse, immediately freeing yourself of Shuri’s grasp.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice stained with an overwhelming flush of self-confidence.

“I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have done that.” You became suffocated as you choked down your pathetic cries. Your stomach knotted in guilt as you remembered you had a girlfriend to go home too. A terrible, emotionally neglectful girlfriend, but still your girlfriend nonetheless.

“Then where should you be? Back home with that bitch who’s cheating on you?”

“We don’t know that,” you snapped, gathering your things as you prepared to head back home.

“We do. You’re just annoyingly in denial.”

You paused, inhaling deeply as you continued to fight the tears that were itching to escape your tear ducts. Shuri was your friend, even though there was always an undeniable tension between the two of you that screamed at you everytime you saw her. You and Shuri’s friendship was always of the complicated sort. She would tease you, pick on you, and borderline bully you on a daily basis but there was an enchantment to her presence you couldn’t ignore. She was charming, seductive, yet you refused to give into whatever emotions played tug-of-war with you and ruin both your relationship and your friendship. It didn’t help that Shuri was who she was. She was notorious for being a ‘fuck-girl’, claiming whoever she felt like, whenever she felt like it. She enjoyed messing around, and it was the complete opposite of what you were looking for. You wanted love and affection. Shuri wanted a good time and you refused to become one of her play-things.

“Shuri…I’m gonna go home.” You approached the exit of her condo but got pulled back in as she quickly grabbed your wrist.

“Let me see you tomorrow?,” she hummed, her eyes high on sex.

You hesitated for a moment, getting lost in her depths as you’re sure a lot of girls did. And that thought alone is enough to pull you back out of her perpetual trance.

“Good night Shuri,” you reply, releasing yourself from her grasp as you make your way out.

Your drive back home was intentionally slow. The drive itself was all too familiar for you, driving from your house to Shuri’s and back again, you could probably do it with your eyes closed. But this time, you were coming back to your bed racked with guilt; guilt you know shouldn’t even be there considering the shit Kiyahnna puts you through on a daily basis but you couldn’t help but feel it.

“Fuck y/n,” you whispered to yourself, hating the way you kept replaying Shuri’s touch over and over again in your mind. She was incredibly skillful and the thought of her made your stomach flutter.

“Fuck.”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

As you approach the driveway, you notice Kiyahnna’s car isn’t there, but this was no surprise to you. The argument you had before you ran to Shuri’s comfort was ugly, uglier than normal. You made your way inside, stepping foot into the empty house and you felt a sense of relief wash over you. The fact that she wasn’t there almost absolved all feelings of guilt because you knew, deep down, Shuri was right. Your girlfriend was cheating on you. The tears you so strongly held back earlier came rushing down without fault. You cried silently as you got ready for bed, allowing yourself this moment of heartbreak in a space where neither Shuri or Kiyahnna could see you. Your bed was comfier than most nights and you weren’t sure if it was because you were sleeping alone tonight or if it was because of Shuri’s message she sent you.

*Hey baby, can you come over tomorrow? We need to talk*

You let the text sit for a bit, not wanting to give Shuri the pride of seeing you text back immediately.

*I have work tomorrow Shuri, I can’t do anything*

*After work?*

You can’t help but let out a cheeky smile.

*Fine. I’ll be there at 6*

*I’ll see you*

*Goodnight Shuri*

*Goodnight*

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You woke up to an empty bed, the catalyst to a painfully slow day. The hours dragged and you weren’t certain if it made you miserable or thankful. Most likely a bit of both. Once you made it home, you were startled at the sight of Kiyahnna sitting on the couch, as if she was waiting for you to arrive. Your stomach dropped, a result of seeing how good she looked and remembering what she was doing behind your back. She walked over to you, bringing you in for a hug as if she forgot the messy argument you had not even 24 hours ago.

“How’s my girl?,” she asks, the scent of her cologne taking over each and every one of your senses. You hadn’t accused her of cheating directly to her face just yet, you wanted to be 100% sure before you ever did such a thing. You linger in her hold, granting yourself permission to feel her fabricated embrace.

“I’m okay,” you reply, your face seeping into her shoulder. “I’m leaving though. I’ll be back later.”

“What? Where the fuck are you going now?” Her voice was already starting to become aggressive, and you sighed in hurtful frustration.

“I’m just meeting with some friends for dinner, I’ll be back soon,” you lie.

“I haven't seen my girl for hours and she’s already leaving me?”

“Ki just…you haven’t seen me because you didn’t come home last night after we had that big fight that you’re for some reason pretending didn’t happen.” You spat your words out with attitude, leveling yourself to her playing field even though you both knew you would crack if she even slightly raised her voice at you.

“Tf are you accusing me of, y/n?” And just like that, whatever feelings of content you felt even for a brief moment completely washed away.

“I’m not doing this right now Ki, I’m leaving. I’ll be back later.”

She let go of you in irritation, slouching back into the couch. For a moment, you almost remembered what life was like when things between you two were ok, amazing actually. When you would help her maintain her locs you adore so much, when she would tickle you until you could no longer breathe, when you would sink into her grasp and the smell of her was enough to get you naked; but all of that was gone now. Nothing but a mere memory of something that will no longer be. You began to break as the memories pounded into you like a heavy weight, your tears no longer able to withhold themselves, and that was your signal to leave immediately.

“Love you babe,” she said before you stepped foot out the door. Her tone was simple, holding absolutely no meaning behind the words she tossed around like it was easy.

“Love you Ki.” Your tone was the same.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Before you step foot into Shuri’s condo, you fix your appearance in your rear view mirror, reapplying your gloss and making sure your false lashes haven’t grown damp after your crying. You pat down your face with powder, absorbing any evidence that you’re a crybaby so Shuri wouldn’t have anything to tease you about. Once you feel presentable enough, you make your way up, hesitating to knock on her door after last night's encounter but you proceed anyway. Shuri opens the door and you get lost in her for a split moment before her harsh tone pulls you back out.

“You gonna come in or what?”

“Sorry, I just…I don’t know.”

She raises an eyebrow in confusion and it frustrates you. Your evening with her has just begun and already she’s acting as if last night didn’t happen. You roll your eyes at her, taking a step inside and gasping at what you see. A candlelit dinner awaited you, and the sight was almost laughable. Shuri? Being romantic? You chuckled under your breath, hoping it wasn’t loud enough for her to hear but Shuri always had ears of a panther.

“What? Shit, is it not good enough?”

You paused, sulking in the effort she put into the presentation before you. A small dinner, enough for two, and Shuri was always a great cook. The candles were spread evenly around the small table, lighting up the corner of her condo. It’s not that you didn’t appreciate her endeavors, it was just the thought of Shuri, the biggest fuck-girl you know and your best friend, putting together a romantic dinner for two was a funny image placed in your head. A confusing one as well. You turned around to face her, mere concern painted on her beautiful face. You weren’t sure whether to comfort her in her worry or cuss her out for blatantly trying to move around the fact that her fingers were inches in your cunt not too long ago. You settled for something in between.

“Shuri…what are you doing?”

“I’m spending time with you…are we not allowed to do that?,” she replies in feign ignorance.

“Shuri…”

“Fine…I just…you were heartbroken yesterday and I felt bad for not comforting you like I should have, even though it’s you who keeps running back to her, so I really don’t even know why I’m apologizing.”

Even in her apology, there was no mention of what happened, but you quickly came to the conclusion that that was the closest thing you were getting to a real apology, so you left it at that for now. You gave her a smile, as you both took your seats at her table. You noticed a detail in her kitchen that you haven’t paid much attention to before, even though you have set foot into her space more times than you could ever recall.

“I’ve never seen someone have a mirror placed above their island countertop before. It looks nice.”

“You’ve been here how many times and you’re just noticing it now?,” she laughs.

“To be fair, I’ve never really used your island before.”

She chuckles, taking a bite into her food and you do the same. It was delicious, but you weren’t expecting anything less because, as you said, Shuri was an incredible cook. The next twenty minutes were filled with your normal conversations, but the elephant in the room was gnawing at your stomach to the point you could not take it anymore. It was mind baffling, seeing her laugh and eat as if last night was nothing but a mistake. Not that it wasn’t a mistake but it also wasn’t unintentional.

“Shuri, I can’t just act like last night didn’t happen,” you say, your gut immediately twisting at the way she paused her eating. She looked at you for a brief moment before proceeding to cut into her steak.

“I can.” She placed the steak in her mouth, chewing as she eyed you provocatively and you can’t tell if her reply pissed you off or made you want to cry; neither was acceptable because both meant you cared about what she thought. Your throat closed in as you swallowed down emotions you truly wish you did not have.

“Kiyahna ever tell you how pretty you look when you’re being fingered?”

Your heart skipped a beat and pushed it right back into your pussy.

“Or how pathetically pretty you sound when you moan?”

Another beat.

“Shuri, Shuri, Shuri,” she imitated you, laughing as she took another bite of her food. Your face was boiling both in anger and embarrassment. You felt used as you smothered the tears fighting to come out.

“Are you gonna cry?”

“No.”

“Bast. You really are a fucking crybaby.”

“I knew last night was a mistake,” you spat between tears. You quickly remove yourself from the table, eager to make an exit from Shuri’s presence.

“Y/n, don’t be like that, baby. Get back here, I’m sorry…kinda.”

You scoff, shamefully shedding tears as you attempt to make your way out the door.

“Y/n.”

“Shutup!”

You open the door, and when you thought your evening couldn’t get any worse, circumstances chose to prove you ridiculously wrong. Kiyahnna was standing right at the threshold, her face soaked in disappointment.

“Ki? What…why--”

Kiyahnna aggressively made herself welcome into Shuri’s home, her eyes bulging at the sight of a candle lit dinner as Shuri sipped the wine straight from the bottle in a presumptuous manner. Shuri and Kiyahnna eyed each other, not a tint of testosterone in the room but you imagined this is what it would feel like.

“Ki…it’s not what it looks like. For real, we were just hanging out.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t entirely the truth either.

“Oh yeah, just hanging out with a bunch of pretty candles, dinner and wine…don’t play stupid y/n.”

You swear the lump in your throat grew big enough to block your windpipe. “No seriously, I didn’t know she was gonna do all this!”

“So what happened to ‘I’m gonna go hang with some friends’, you lying little shit.”

Shuri shifted in her seat at your girlfriend’s insult.

“I technically didn’t lie, Shuri is my friend,” you defend yourself as you begin to cry pathetically. You were never one to handle anyone raising their voice at you, even in the slightest.

“You know I don’t like this bitch, so why do you keep seeing her behind my back?”

Shuri, who has already had enough of the wretched sight, stood up from her seat. She nudged Kiyahnna in passive-aggressiveness, forcing Kiyahnna to shift her attention from you to her.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Or what?”

“Shuri…don’t,” you said, not wanting to make this scene any uglier than it has to be. “We’re…we’re gonna go home now. Right baby? Let’s go home.” You attempt to take Kiyahnna’s hand and make your way out, but Shuri decides to take matters into her own hands.

“Who are you fucking behind y/n’s back?”

Kiyahnna turned around to face Shuri, fearlessly walking towards her until their faces were inches away from each other. Shuri smirked in satisfaction, backing away in pride.

“What the fuck did you say to me?”

“Oh, I think you heard me loud and clear.”

“Shuri, please.”

“Shut the fuck up, y/n. You gotta stop taking shit from this useless piece of trash who clearly doesn’t give a fuck about you.”

“And what in the hell would you know about y/n and I’s relationship???,” Kiyahnna taunts, her voice seeped in nothing but animosity and you were scared for the both of them. You knew them both all too well.

“Oh well ask your little girlfriend who comes running to me after every argument you guys have about how much she can’t fucking stand you.”

Kiyahnna shifts her attention to you once more, observing you as you break down. “No, not like that! She didn’t mean it like that, I just come to her as someone to talk to, please ju--”

“Enough y/n, stop apologizing for her shitty behaviour!”

“You know what? Fuck you Shuri. Let’s go Ki, I don’t wanna be here anymore.” You forcefully grab Kiyahnna’s hand, making your way out of Shuri’s condo with no intention of stopping for any more of Shuri’s games, but Shuri was just as adamant as you were to get what she wants.

“Your girlfriend is really fucking tight, you know that right?”

You almost swore the oxygen in the room stopped flowing as your stomach literally dropped to the soles of your feet.

“She was so tight, I could hardly tell you ever fucked her…I mean, you have fucked her right? Didn’t seem like it with the way she so easily screamed my name last night. Right baby?”

She made eye contact with you, as she eyed your body up and down, sulking in your beauty even as you were weeping uncontrollably in rage and embarrassment.

“And I didn’t even strap her down yet. Wonder how tight she’ll be then,” she states, milking out that last statement with an evil smirk. Kiyahnna wastes no time approaching Shuri and meeting her fist to her jaw with a smack so loud, your eardrums pop. You gasp, running to Kiyahnna before she causes any more damage. You grab your girlfriend, watching Shuri as she gets up with blood smeared on the left side of her sharp jaw. She smirks at you, pleased with the way she got under your girlfriend's skin.

“Fuck! You!,” you spat, your tone harsher than the words themselves. And with that, you and Kiyahnna finally made yourselves out, leaving Shuri’s presence as you bottled up the rest of your tears. Truthfully, you did not want to see Kiyahnna or Shuri ever again, but you had nowhere else to go and right now, for the first time ever, Kiyahnna was the better option.

The rest of the night was filled with the most deafening silence you had ever experienced. From the car ride, to your bed, not a word was spoken. You didn’t even attempt to explain yourself because there was no use in the matter. You were caught, and for a moment you were almost thankful for Shuri’s untimely bluntness because you couldn’t take another moment of the guilt you had for allowing Shuri to touch you the way that she did.

You had the bed to yourself tonight, and this time, it wasn’t because Kiyahnna didn’t come home. She was home, just not with you. She decided to sleep on the couch tonight, and you were thankful. It allowed you time to cry without prying eyes judging you as your body exploded with emotions. Your phone buzzed.

*Come over tomorrow?*

Is she being for real?? You ignored her, refusing to give her the satisfaction she was so clearly desperate for.

*Please?* she added.

You held your ground as you finally fell asleep. You basked in your unconscious state because it was the only escape from the heaviness that poured all around you.

The next day flew by swiftly. You woke up to an empty house, as you gathered yourself for another day. Work was what it always was, but different. You were actually happy to be at work, away from both of them. As you clocked out, you drove back home agonizingly slow, not wanting to come home to Kiyahnna but also scared to open the door to an empty house. When you got home, Ki’s car was nowhere to be found, and you decided you were grateful. You would rather an actual empty house than a house that wasn’t empty but felt like it. Your gratefulness was cut short as you propped the door open, clear that Kiyahnna was home, her shoes tattered across the carpet. But she wasn’t on the couch, in her usual position.

“Ki?,” you called out. “Ki, you home?”

And that’s when you heard it.

“Oh my god, yeah. Just like that Ki, just like that, FUCK. UNH.”

You did not hesitate to run to the bedroom, prying the door open to the most jaw-dropping, heart-breaking obscenity that made you freeze in place. Your girlfriend was there, fucking someone that wasn’t you; and even though you knew for a while now, you were never prepared for the confirmation of it all and how much it would hurt.

“Ki?”

“Y/n? Shit,” she cusses, removing her strap from the other girl. It’s the same strap she fucks you with, well used to fuck you with. She hasn’t touched you in what seemed like a month now.

“Baby, I thought…weren’t you working?”

“I was…now I’m off.” You were numb, as tears fell from your dead eyes.

“Shit…hey look…I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?? There’s a naked girl on my bed right now.”

“Yeah baby…uhhh. Shit.”

You look at the girl, holding her gaze as you try to keep your cool.

“How long has this been going on for?,” you ask her.

“Shit, I don’t know…how long’s it been Ki? Three months?”

“Three…three months??”

You look over at Kiyahnna, her face covered in shame but she tries to keep her ‘calm, cool, and collected’ composure.

“Fuck you.”

“Y/n, come on. Don’t be like that. Let’s work this out.” She reaches out for you, attempting to bring you in for a hug but you slap her across the face and it takes all three of you by shock.

“DAMN,” the girl says.

You felt a sense of pride, finally able to stand up for yourself in the midst of mistreatment.

“Don’t fucking touch me, you fucking skank!”

You looked over at the girl on your bed, still naked.

“What’s your name, pretty?”

“Uh, Mikayla?”

“Fuck you too Mikayla.”

You put your shoes back on and headed out the door. You didn’t even try to hold your tears in, you found it useless at this point. You knew you didn’t have the strength or the willpower to battle emotions that were stronger than you. You hopped in your car and drove, and you knew exactly where you were headed. As much as your mind was screaming at you not to go back there, your heart always found a way to convince you otherwise. And right now, you did not care. You wanted her. All of her.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“Open the fucking door Shuri,” you whispered to yourself after Shuri neglected to open the door after your 5th knock. You remember the spare key Shuri gave you in case of emergencies, and you didn’t hesitate to come to the conclusion that this was, in fact, an emergency. You rummaged through your bag, finally inviting yourself into her place. You opened the door to what seemed like an empty space.

“Shuri?,” you lightly called out, but she was nowhere to be found. You crept in further and further, still unable to find her, but that’s when you heard it. At first it sounded like someone had been wounded and you reacted instantly, running towards the broken cries. As you crept closer, you realize what you barged into.

“UNH, Shuri…Shuri, ohmygod. Unh, unh, UNH. FUCK.”

The woman cried out in pleasure, singing Shuri’s name behind the closed bedroom door. You didn’t know what to do but what you did know was that you refused to go back home so you decided to wait patiently in Shuri’s kitchen until she came out.

“Mmm, yeah…YEAH. FUCK, ohmygod, you’re so big, I can’t.”

You begin to listen attentively, becoming intrigued by the way the other girl moans Shuri’s name as if she’s experiencing the most out-of-body experience. You step into the living room, placing yourself on the couch as you listen to the way Shuri makes her scream.

“FUCK. GOD.”

You reluctantly crossed your legs, aware of the slow throb that began to creep in your core. You were slightly turned on and you couldn’t help but notice that you were even a little jealous. You weren’t sure if the jealousy came from the fact that your garbage-of-a-girlfriend didn’t touch you in weeks or if it was because it wasn’t you underneath Shuri at this very moment.

The sound of moans blended in with Shuri’s palm slapping down on flesh, the girl screaming in response.

“Shut up and take this dick, baby. You’re such a slut, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah I am. Only for you Shuri, keeping fucking me just like that. FUCK. I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum on my dick, give all that good shit to me.”

“Shuri. Shuri.”

Your mind begins to travel to sinful places, your stomach knotting in jealousy you choose to accept. It was useless to keep pretending you didn’t care anymore. You wanted Shuri. You wanted her to make you feel the way she made all her girls feel, truly understand why girls run back to her in desperation even though they mean nothing more to her than a good time.

“Who are you?” You were abruptly interrupted by the girl who was Shuri’s one night stand. She was wrapped in a purple bathrobe, headed to the bathroom. She was beautiful, even with the mascara running down her eyes and the limp she had in her step as a result of Shuri’s work. Yeah, you were definitely jealous.

“I’m y/n. I’m…I’m here to see Shuri…”

“Oh shit…are you her girlfriend? Shit I didn’t know, I swear.”

“Uhhh…”

“Y/n?” There she was. Clearly fucked out as she adjusted the waistband of her basketball shorts. “The fuck are you doing here?”

“You could’ve told me you had a girl.”

“She’s not my girl.”

Your heart sank a little at her words, and you're annoyed at how you let her get under your skin just like that. You began to choke up, tears welling up and she immediately understood the brokenness in your eyes.

“Get out,” she says to the girl, hostility locked in her tone.

“Shit, my bad. I’m leaving now.” The girl scurried around to grab her things, running out in her bathrobe as she almost trips out the door. “I’m sorry,” she repeats to you, before shutting the door behind her. The room went silent as Shuri stood there in anticipation. The gap between you and her was far too big for your comfort, when all you wanted to do was jump in her arms and speak from the heart. But you knew Shuri. She would probably laugh at you, and brush it off like nothing.

“What happened now, y/n?,” she asked in slight annoyance. “What’d your bitch you love so much do now?”

You almost didn’t want to admit it because the last thing you needed from Shuri was her scolding ‘I told you so’s.’

“Ki is cheating on me.”

“Oh for real??,” she replies in an insulting form of sarcasm.

“Shuri, stop.”

“Can’t say I didn’t tell your stupid ass.”

“No but I actually caught her, she was fucking some bitch named Mackenzie or whatever on my bed. MY BED. And that dumb bitch tried to apologize to me like IT’S NOTHING! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??”

“Actually…yes. Yes I can believe it.”

“I didn’t want to believe it though.”

“Do you do anything besides cry all day?”

“Shit Shuri, I’m heartbroken. At least pretend to care about me!”

“I do care about you.”

“Then fucking act like it!”

“What do you want me to do?? Give you a hug??”

“Honestly yeah, that’d be really nice right now.”

Shuri laughs under her breath, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her basketball shorts. “You tripping.”

“Can I atleast kiss you??,” you ask and it came out more like begging than you assumed it would. Shuri froze, her throat bobbed as she swallowed.

“You want me to…kiss you?”

You nod.

“And then what? You want me to hold your hand and tell you everything is gonna be ok? And then ‘make love’ to you, or whatever the fuck. All that lovey dovey shit. Sorry y/n, that’s you, that shit ain’t for me.”

“Then what the fuck was that candle lit dinner you made me yesterday?? You’re gonna tell me you did that all for nothing??”

She went silent.

“Talk to me Shuri, stop acting like you didn’t fuck me the other night and then made me a cute little dinner the next day!”

“I didn’t fuck you,” she chuckles. She licks her lips, her eyes wandering everywhere around the room except for you.

“Yeah, you kinda did.”

Shuri breathes in frustration, making her way towards you as her mood shifts. Her toned body hovers over you as she stroked your cheek with her index finger. You admire the tattoo that trails down her right arm and trickles to her fingers. Her perfectly coiled hair accentuated her chiselled face, paving way to the bruise that sat on her left jaw from yesterdays fiasco. Her cologne, smothered your senses and you lingered in her touch that was so minimal yet started a bonfire in the cavity of your chest. She was attractive, this wasn’t news. You always found Shuri attractive. Hell, if your memory could recall correctly, you approached her first, because you found her attractive yet your paths decided you would work best as friends; granted, it was definitely not your average friendship, but there is a love you had for each other that couldn’t be ignored. 

“You call that fucking?,” her tone shifted, low and husky as she continued to caress your tear-stained cheeks.

You closed your eyes, savoring her gentle touch as long as she would allow it. It felt so real, so loving, even though you know it meant something completely different for Shuri.

“Shuri…?”

“Mhmm?” She was admiring you, her eyes sulking in your beautiful facial features Shuri loved but never cared to admit.

“Can you--”

“Can I do what, baby?”

You close your eyes once more, questioning yourself on whether you should proceed or not; because once you dive in, there is no turning back. Shuri would have you completely, in all ways and every way she desired and you would do nothing but allow it as you fall in love with her completely, unsure if she feels the same.

“Fuck me,” you beg, your voice shaking through your plea. “Fuck me like I’m one of your play-things, I swear I’ll be good. Just fuck me please.”

A crooked smile pierced through Shuri’s mouth, rubbing your bottom lip with the pad of her thumb and it made you ache. You crave her.

“Are you sure?”

You nod.

“I need you to understand something y/n.”

You say nothing, using your eyes as a method to pull her into you.

“I don’t just fuck, nkosazana…” The use of her native tongue caught you completely off guard. “I degrade and disrespect.”

You gulp as your body temperature rises.

“I’ll fuck you senseless for my pleasure, and then I might just act like it never happened.”

You hesitate, but eventually nod in agreement.

“And I’m only telling you this because I know you and I care about you. I know what you crave. You want someone to love you and give you the world, make you feel cared for. And I just can’t give that to you…not yet anyway.”

“Shuri please--”

“But I don’t know, I never fucked someone I loved before.”

Your eyes grow wide at her confession. You knew she loved you in a friendly manner but never did it cross your mind that her love went beyond the friendly type.

“Shuri please, just take me already. Use me, I don’t give a fuck. I just want you. All of you.”

She smiles. “Your words, sthandwa, not mine.”

And with that, she picks you up, gripping your ass as you wrap your legs around her waist. She takes your mouth into hers, building a road to the night she had in store for you; the night she’s waited forever for.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Your bare pussy pressed into the smooth flesh of Shuri’s left thigh, your skirt bunched around your waist as you begin to grind your tender clit on her bare leg, leaving a trail of your wet desire on her.

“Unh,” you moaned softly, as Shuri grabbed your waist, guiding you through it.

“Shut up baby, I don’t wanna hear you. Just wanna hear how wet your pussy is. You think you can do that for me?”

You nod, your face diminishing into agony as you choke down your moans.

“Good, cause you didn’t have a choice.”

She presses your hips harder into her thigh, sending a wave of shock to your clit at the impact, and you shut your eyes as you fight the sounds you need to release.

“What’s wrong, nkosazana? Don’t tell me you’re already gonna cum.”

“Shuri.”

“I said shut up.” She reaches into your back pocket, pulling out your phone. “What’s your password, baby?”

“What?”

She waves the screen in front of your face as if she’s unaware of the pressure she’s putting on your sensitive clit as you suffer, trying to hold in your desperate groans of pleasure.

“It’s…1234.”

“Geez, couldn’t get any more predictable?”

“Shuri?”

“Did I say you can talk??”

You shake your head.

“Then shut the fuck up.”

She scrolls through your phone, clicking on keys as before she places the phone on the armrest of her sofa. The phone is on speaker phone, ringing as she waits for them to pick up.

“Y/n? I didn’t think you would call.”

Your eyes bulge as you realize who it is, and Shuri holds you firm, rocking your hips violently as you become overwhelmed with the feel of her.

“Ki? Hi baby.”

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m ok. Mmm, yeah.”

Shuri is keeping direct eye contact with you as do the same, eye fucking you as she puts more pressure on your oversensitive clit, digging her flesh in between your wet folds.

“Y/n, where are you? What’s going on?”

“Oh my god.”

Your eyes begin to roll as the warmth in your stomach creeps lower down your body, finding its way to your bundle of nerves as you squirm beneath Shuri’s tight grip. Her fingers dig into your flesh right before she takes two of her fingers and slips them beneath her own shorts and boxers, swishing through her wet pussy. The sight of her playing with herself is driving you to your edge.

“Where are you y/n? I’ll come pick you up.”

You look at Shuri, waiting for permission to release yourself but she shakes her head left and right. No. She removes her fingers from her wet cunt, and shoves them down your throat, gagging you as she does it again, and again.

“You hear that Kiyahnna? That’s your bitch, being a little slut for me.” She shoves her fingers down your throat once more, tears staining your cheeks as you gasp for air.

“Shuri?,” you moan, unable to hold in your pleasure any longer.

“Go ahead baby, show her how good of a girl you are. Let her hear it.”

“Oh my…fuck. Oh my god Shuri, oh my god.”

“The fuck is wrong with you guys??”

“Baby? You still there? Unh.”

“Fuck this shit, ya’ll are sick.”

Shuri gags you once more, making sure she Kiyahnna hears it loud and clear before she hangs up.

“Shuri, holy fuck Shuri. UNH. SHIT. FUCK. YEAH.”

She holds you down, making sure you’re unable to remove yourself from her grasp. “You like that?”

“Yeah, yeah you feel so good. I want more. Give me more. Gag me again, I wanna taste you.”

Shuri yanks your hair, tilting your head back as your neck is exposed to her. You feel so dirty, as she twirls her fingers through her own pussy once more, gathering her juices before she plunges into your throat. She pushes farther, your throat closing in around her and your tongue sticks out as you choke on her slender fingers. The tears cease to stream down your face, your saliva pooling out of your mouth as your pounding pussy slows its throb. She pulls out, and you already look fucked out. Tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes are met with Shuri’s dark, lustful ones, bringing you in for a kiss as she grasps your ass.

“Ki?”

“She’s gone, sthandwa. You scared her away.”

You giggle, trailing your fingers to your clit as you starve for more but Shuri grabs your hand before you get anywhere near your pussy.

“What? I can’t touch myself?,” you ask, challenging how far Shuri is willing to go with you. She notices this, the way you attempt to test her dominance.

“You wanna know what I think, y/n?,” she asks, kissing your neck as you surrender to her sweetness. She’s never even touched you like this before and yet it seems as if she knows you all too well, like she’s fucked you a million times. Your body responds to her in ways your body has never behaved for anyone prior, not even Kiyahnna.

“What do you think, baby?”

“I think you like the bad girls.” She continues to suck on your neck, leaving fuck marks in a territorial manner. “You like when girls treat you like shit because you know they’ll fuck you like they don’t care. You like being treated like a slut, because it makes your cunt ache.” She slips two fingers between your folds, caressing your clit in slow, torturous loops. “Because underneath this pretty princess facade you got going on, you're really just a useless whore, right baby?”

You’re unresponsive, holding in any sound trying to escape your throat as Shuri plays with your pussy.

“You really are stupid, huh?”

You continue to fight and Shuri smirks with pride, arrogantly pleased with the way she has you writhing in distress as you await her orders.

“It’s ok. I’ll fuck the stupid right out of you.”

“Fuck,” you gasp. “Shuri, I can’t.”

She grabs your throat, squeezing tightly as her palm presses against your windpipe. A restrained choke comes from the back of your throat as you open your mouth wider to allow for more oxygen flow.

“Speak one more time, and I swear to Bast himself…” She lets you go, and you cough a little as your lungs are fully exposed to the air it needs. “How’s this pussy of yours? Is she ready to grind some more?”

You nod, your stomach knotting once more at what’s to come.

“Good girl.”

She removes you from her lap, laying on her back as she motions you to get on top of her and you obey without question. You remove your shirt and bra, leaving yourself in your skirt as it stays hunched around your waistline. You relax in Shuri’s grasp, sulking in her beauty and what she looks like underneath you. She was always attractive, but this side of her was a vision you swear would have girls falling in love at first sight; it was the first time you truly understood why women ran back to her, begging for more and why she would never give it.

“Sit on my face,” she mandates, interfering with your dangerous thoughts. “Put my tongue to use y/n, sit on my damn face.” You oblige, hovering your pussy right over her mouth. She pushes your hips down, forcing you to put your full body weight on her and you moan almost instantly at the contact of her lips on yours. Your back slowly begins to arch, as Shuri wastes no time using her skillful tongue for sinful pleasures. The feeling was euphoric, her warm tongue flicking and sucking your clit had you singing Shuri’s name like an ensemble of one.

“Yeah, baby just like that. Just like that. Keep going. Keep fucking me like that, holy fuck. Holy shit, Shuri.”

She clasped your hips, rocking you back and forth as she tongue-fucked your pussy entrance and your throbbing bud. Her tongue made the most irresponsible movements against you, and your pussy nerves were reacting in ways you had no control over. She continued, using her nose and chin as tools for your pleasure as well. She was deep into you, your thighs tightening as you put her beautiful face to work.

“Fuck Shuri, I’m so close, it’s right there. Right there. Don’t stop.” You grasp onto the couch, your fingers digging into the material as you brace yourself. “Keep fucking this pussy, she wants you. She needs you so bad. Unh. UNH.” You release yourself into her mouth, fucking you through your orgasm and you fight it, trying to break free from Shuri’s grasp but she won’t let you. She takes your pounding clit into her salivating mouth once more, sucking as you struggle to overcome your orgasm but Shuri’s tongue only prolonged the pulse vibrating through your overwhelming pussy nerves.

“Shuri. Shuri. Shuri!,” you scream one last time before she finally lets you go. You collapse, both of you catching your breath as your minds and bodies return to your surroundings. You straddle her once more, kissing her as you taste your juices that stain her face.

“Damn, I taste good,” you moan into her mouth.

“Yes you fucking do, baby. Like I said, tastes better coming straight out of you.”

“I want more. Give me more.”

“What do you want, nkosazana?”

“Strap me down. I heard that girl earlier…she said you were big. I wanna feel it. Show me how tight I am, Shuri.” You didn’t hold a single care in the world for how needy you were coming across, because you wanted her. Every ounce of her. “Please Shuri, please. Please?”

“Please Shuri, please,” she mocks, chuckling at the sight of you.

“Stop, I’m not playing right now, baby. Or I swear I’ll touch myself, I’ll give myself my own orgasm and make you watch.”

“Oh y/n, you’re playing with fire.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

She cocks her head to the side, like she’s planning a million ways to discipline you and remind you who’s in charge. She lifts you off of her, placing you on the couch in a regular sitting position, the fabric of her sofa coming in contact with your exposed ass. She hovers over you, grabbing your jaw in her hand as she tightens her grasp. It was almost painful, but you knew you deserved it. Your face gave out, settling back into submission without her having to say a word.

“There’s my girl,” she says, heading into her bedroom. “Stay here. Don’t fucking move.” She comes out, wearing a bracelet you’ve never seen her wear before.

“This is a kimoyo bracelet. These are kimoyo beads.”

You shrug your shoulders, uninterested but that disinterest slipped away as soon as she tapped on one of the beads, revealing the strap that hugged her crotch. It was detailed, every crevice and vein placed perfectly.

“This isn’t the same strap I use on other girls, I wanted to save this for someone special. It’s made from vibranium, remember I told you about vibranium?”

You nod. You remember little of what she said about it, she barely gave you any details about the metal, but you do recall her mentioning it once or twice. Shuri bends down, meeting your eye level.

“Listen to me carefully, y/n. This strap is going to go inside you and literally collect data from you. It’s going to remember every crevice, every contour, and most importantly your g-spot, and it’s going to mold to fit into you, and only you…let me know if you’re ok with this. If not, it’s ok…I’ll go grab one of my other straps and fuck you all the same, my pretty girl.”

You ponder for a moment. “Will it hurt, when it…you know, molds into me?”

“No sthandwa, it won’t. It’ll feel amazing actually, I made sure of it. I promise you.”

You begin to smile uncontrollably, your face flushing with warmth. As smutty as it was, it almost seemed romantic, in a weird, twisted sense; because even though Shuri has fucked too many women to even recall, she wanted you fully. She wanted to make you hers, fuck you like whore as she quite literally molds you.

“I want you, Shuri. I want all of you.”

“Ok baby, ok.”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

In one sweep, you find yourself on your back, plastered to the cool marble of Shuri’s island countertop. She aggressively removes your skirt from your body, leaving you completely bare. She spread your legs open in eagerness, impatient to get inside you and fuck you until you gasp for air.

“You're so sexy, y/n. This pussy is so sexy.” She slaps your pussy, your back softly arching on the marble beneath you. She plays with your folds, purposely avoiding your clit as you groan in frustration. “Be patient. No one likes an impatient slut. You can be patient for me, right my love?”

You don’t respond, resulting in Shuri slapping your pussy once more, sending a coursing sting to your clit.

“Yes Shuri,” you pant. “I’ll be patient with you.”

“That’s right.”

She removes one of the beads from her bracelet, sticking the circular metal to your clit and you wince at the contact. Immediately, Shuri fidgets with her kimoyo bracelet, activating the bead as it trembles in low vibrations. Your eyes shut, as you clench onto the sides of the island.

“Spread your legs as much as you can, let me watch your pussy twitch baby.”

You obey, spreading your legs to your highest extent, making more room for the buzzing kimoyo bead to roll through your lips. You looked up, understanding the purpose of why Shuri put a mirror on top of her island. The image was incredible, your face was fucked out as you watched the way the kimoyo bead maneuvered its way through your throbbing cunt. The sound of you was music to Shuri’s ears. You were drenched.

“You see what you look like? Look at how fucking sexy you look like this, y/n. Bast.”

“Shuri, holy fuck. I’m going to cum, holy shit.”

She fidgets with her bracelet once more, the pressure of the bead on the brink of being painful, as it vibrates heavily into your bundle of nerves. You keep your eyes open, looking at the reflection of your puffy pussy as you cum once again.

“GOD, HOLY SHIT. SHURI, SHURI.”

Shuri makes no effort to ease your suffering. Instead she steps closer to you, lifting your legs over her shoulders as she begins to tease your entrance. She coats her tip with your pearly cum, easing her way into you as your pussy welcomes her in.

“Oh my god.”

She thrusts.

“Shuri, good god, Shuri.”

“Shut the fuck up, you bitch, and let this pretty pussy do the talking, that’s all I need to hear. How wet you are for me. How slutty you are..”

Her thrusts seep deeper and deeper, your pussy clasping onto her length.

“You’re so fucking tight, y/n. Bast.”

You bite down on your hand, suffocating yourself as you refuse to disobey Shuri’s orders for you to keep quiet. You were trying your absolute hardest, but the feeling of Shuri’s dick hammering into you and the reflection of your pleasure coating her is making her commands damn near impossible. Your breathing becomes scattered, your eyes subtly going cross eyed as you feel your pussy sculpting the vibranium inside you. The kimoyo bead never fails to violate your clit, and you let out a strangled noise as you choose to ignore Shuri’s orders to keep quiet.

“I can’t Shuri, I can’t. I’m sorry but…SHIT. You feel so good. This feels so good.”

She lets you scream, immensely turned on by the control she has on your body.

“That’s it y/n. Such a fucking whore. My whore.”

“Your whore,” you echo. “Only yours.”

She loses tempo for a second, lost in your dirty mouth. You look at your reflection once more, hypnotized by Shuri’s curls and the way she grips your thighs as she mercilessly buries herself into you. Your breasts are bouncing to her inhumane rhythm, sweat glistening against your brown skin. She’s tapping your g-spot, making sure the vibranium makes note of every outline and curve inside you, claiming you as her own.

“You like when I play with you, huh?”

“Mhmmm.”

“Then cum for me, y/n. Spill that shit all over me.”

Your eyes roll back until they’re completely shut, grasping onto the edges on the countertop as a sense of relief. Your clit is aching, your pussy clenching harder and harder around her girth. The ache ripples into your knotted stomach as the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet tingle. You grow light-headed, your body overcome by the works of Shuri.

“Holy shit, baby. I’m gonna cum. Don’t stop. Keep going. Just like that, you’re doing so well. Fuck.”

With the buzz of her bead, and the stroke of her dick, you combust. You’re overtaken by everything that surrounds you, dissolving into the pleasure as Shuri fucks you through it.

“I can feel you baby, I can feel you pulsating around me.” Shuri spills into you, her own orgasm overcoming her state of dominance as your pussy twitches through her pleasure. “Fuck, y/n. Shit, baby. Look what you do to me.”

“SHURI.”

“FUCK.”

The room becomes filled with your moans, curses, and each other’s names as you mutually struggle to come down from your high. Shuri pulls out, a line of your slick staying connected to her strap until she tugged far enough to fully sever the tie from you. She bends down, putting her mouth at your cunt and you almost don’t realize what’s happening but then you understand, as you hear her native tongue fall from her mouth. She’s speaking xhosa into your cunt, and although you have no idea what she’s saying, you are completely turned on by the action as the vibrations of her voice pulsate through you. Shuri plucks the kimoyo bead from your clit, connecting it back to the bracelet allowing you to fully exhale in relief.

Shuri pulls your body from the island, and you go limp, nearly collapsing as your feet hit the floor. Shuri picked you up, bringing you to her bedroom as she put one of her oversized t-shirts on you, and the scent almost fully brought your mind back to the real world.

“You’re a mess,” she comments, pushing your messy curls off your face.

“Fuck,” you groan, still trying to collect yourself.

“How are you doing? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m ok.”

Shuri smiles. “Good.”

You’re beginning to trail off into a deep sleep, fed up and fucked out as you cuddle into Shuri’s bedsheets. Shuri rests her body beside you, your heart jumped at the gesture as you were on the brink of passing out.

“What if I tried?”

“Hmm?” You hear her, but your body is too tired to collect her words.

“I could be good. Let me be good for you, nkosazana.”

And those were the last words you heard before you drifted off into a comfortable sleep, the best sleep you’ve had in months.

“I’ll try. I promise I’ll try y/n.” ❁ཻུ۪۪♡

[caffeinetheif]

I'm back :3c

Angst idea - Mc struggling to feel like their own person after the whole reveal of them being Lilith's descendent. The slight slip ups from the brothers (minus Satan, obv he didn't really know her,) the small comparisons from the angels that might've known her that make it appear that mc is now a stand in for her or that their new-found worth/importance only comes from their relation to Lilith.

You know me so well. I love angst so much lol. GN!MC as always <33 Since this got so long, the entire fic is under the cut lol. Might continue in a part 2 if this gets enough attention. If you notice my bias for solomon, no you don't

Am I Even Me?

WC: 1.5K

No Romance, but it could be romantic/platonic between Solomon depending on interperitation

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 16, existential crisis/MC knows that they aren't the original MC, some harm done to MC by Lucifer (nothing extreme, just bruising), CURSING, Escaping/running away, talks of murder/death, MC gets compared to Lilith

GN!MC

The brother’s behavior is different than it used to be. Verbal and physical mannerisms have changed, both subtly and not. 

At first, you didn’t notice it and thought that the brothers were just warming up to you even more. It was hard to notice at first, but the more it happened, the harder it was for you to ignore.

When receiving little trinkets and candies and treats from the brothers that you never knew existed became more frequent, you started to suspect something was up. For example, Beelzebub goes out of his way to make special snacks and treats just for you. Asmodeus has given you articles of clothing and accessories that are definitely not your style and it has gotten to the point where you need to store them in a box under your bed. Every time you look at them or any other gift the feeling of not being seen as your own person crawls up your neck.

However, Belphegor’s behavior is the most noticeable. You find him unpredictable, off kilter in a way. When you first met, he seemed lonely and in need of company. You were blindsided when the switch flipped and he started to rant about how much he despised humans like you. He killed you, then you came back, told the story your ancestor Lilith told you, and now everything seems hunky dory. Just like nothing happened. You never really felt safe alone with him since then, even with his new sweeter mannerisms. 

How many times have the brothers almost called you Lilith? The ‘L’ being slurred in before your name is getting annoying. Sometimes you hear Beel and Belphie whispering to each other about you reminding them of their younger sister. Mammon is the least guilty of it and Satan has never compared you to her. It’s hard to compare someone you know to the sister you have only heard of.

The angel Simeon isn’t without fault, either. When he said that you hold yourself similarly to Lilith has played on repeat ever since he mentioned it. It makes you feel like you aren’t your own person. You’re tired of it, but you have to endure.

But you can’t help but think. Are they seeing you as you, or as her?

When dinner time rolls around and you join the brothers at the table, you idly chat about classes with Satan and Mammon. The chatting continues as you and the brothers pass around the various dishes of food and take your servings before passing it on. 

Cutlery clinks against the plates and bowls once everyone begins to eat. It’s the peaceful type of quiet that doesn’t need to be filled with chatter. AS usual, the silence doesn’t last forever.

“Could you pass the gravy, Lilith?” Leviathan asks. 

He quickly realizes his slip up. Leviathan stammers as he corrects himself.

That was the stick that broke the camel’s back. Every other time the brother’s have caught themselves before her full name slipped out. It was never subtle, but they tried to stop themselves from saying her name. 

You have had enough, “Do you think I haven’t noticed?” 

Beelzebub is the one to reply, “What do you mean, MC?”

Your anger grows and you announce, “Do you think I haven’t noticed that you all have been giving me things I have never asked for or talked about? Foods that I have never heard of or sweets that don’t exist in the human realm? They were all for Lilith, weren’t they?”

It’s Asmodeus that speaks this time, “Oh, MC. We didn’t mean… You just-” 

“Just what? Just remind you of her? Even Simeon has mentioned her to me.”

Mammon looks like he wants to say something too, but stays silent.

Tears collect on your lashes, “Is that all I am? A replacement for your dead sister?”

Every single one of the brothers falls quiet as they are caught off guard by your outburst.

Frustrated with the silence, you demand, “Answer me! Am I a stand in for your fucking sister!”

Lucifer breaks the silence first by slamming his hands on the dining table, silverware and dishes clinking as a result. “MC, that’s enough!” 

“No! If anything, you’re one of the worst about it! Everyone has been ignoring the fact that Belphegor fucking killed me! That whole incident has been just swept under the rug! And on top of that, you all have slipped up and nearly called me her name except Satan.”

Beelzebub stands, about to defend his twin when Satan stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

You take a step towards Lucifer and continue, anger and confusion getting the better of you, “Am I even me? I saw my own dead body! I don’t even belong in this damn timeline! What if I wanted to stay in my timeline? What if the Belphegor in that one didn’t hate my guts and didn’t want me dead? I can’t remember my own life because I was forced to take the place of the MC your brother fucking killed!” 

“MC, I said enough!” Lucifer bellows and grabs your wrist.

You wince as his hand wraps around your arm. His grip is strong, much harder than necessary and you know it will bruise. You know how he can be when he’s angry, and the sudden reality of what he could do hits you. Anxiety pulls at your lungs. None of the brothers move, though they look like they want to interfere. 

“Oi, Lucifer. Let MC go!” Mammon demands, getting up from his seat and preparing to jump the table at the eldest.

The break in his concentration allows you to wrench your arm from Lucifer’s grip. You run. You recognize the voices of the brothers yelling out to you, but you pay them no mind. Your legs carry you out of the dining hall, up the stairs, and down the halls.

You slam your door and slide the lock in place. It wouldn’t hold against the brothers’ strength if they really wanted to get in, so you take time to shove your armoire in front of it. The piece of furniture is heavy and takes time to move. By the time you have it where you want it, your adrenaline has worn off and your arms are shaky.

With your DDD in hand, you call the only other human you know in the Devildom. It wouldn’t be long before one or more of the brothers would try to talk to you. Eventually, you would need to talk to them about it. Just not tonight.

As your DDD rings, you hastily pack clothes into a duffel bag. It’s difficult with one hand and a bruising wrist, but you manage. Just before the last ring, the other line is finally picked up.

“MC, why are you call-”

“Solomon,” you sniff, cursing yourself for still crying, “can I stay at Purgatory Hall tonight?” 

Despite his arrogant facade, you can hear concern creeping into his voice, “Is everything alright?”

“I… Yes? Just come get me. Please. And be quick. I don’t know how long my door will hold.”

“I’ll be there in a minute. Call me again if something happens.”

Solomon hangs up and you finish packing your essentials. You pace with your bag over your shoulder, thinking he will appear in your room any second. Your thoughts are interrupted by your DDD ringing once again. You pick up.

Solomon starts, “I’m under your window. I’m unable to teleport into your room. There is a strong protection ward over the dorms.”

You hang up and run to your window and unlock it. Opening the window, you spot the sorcerer down below. Solomon opens his arms and motions for you to toss your bag down. He catches the falling luggage with ease.

Solomon faintly mutters something and a thick plant sprout shoots up to your window and forms a little platform in front of you. His magic never ceases to amaze you as you climb out of the window and onto the little step. The sprout shrinks back into the earth, bringing you down with it. As soon as your feet touch the ground, Solomon’s hand grabs yours and he gives you a quick warning before the two of you are teleported to Purgatory Hall.

The two of you arrive just outside the front entrance to Purgatory Hall and Solomon leads you inside. He shows you to the common room and sets your bag down besides the couch.

“I’ll be right back,” Somon says, “I’m going to go start some tea. Please make yourself comfortable in the meantime.”

You nod and he leaves the room. You sit down and rub the dried tears off of your cheeks. Out of curiosity, you check your DDD to see several messages from Mammon. He’s always been the most protective. Emotionally drained, you power down your DDD to avoid any messages or incoming calls.

A few minutes pass and Solomon comes back with a tray of fresh sweets and tea. You’ll deal with the fall out tomorrow.

[ebonysficcollection]

BNHA Fic Recs: Family/Friendship Feels

make this feel like home by carolinaa

The Todoroki siblings all come together for Christmas for the first time in years when they hear that Endeavor will be out of town during the break. Very painful, but also the most realistic depiction of estranged siblings that clearly love each other, but don't know how to act around each other. Fantastically written, and it's told from Natsuo's perspective, which is a refreshing take on this genre of Todoroki family recovery fics.

Tickets to the Todoroki Trauma Drama Are Buy 1 Get 1 Free by miniongrin

Touya and Fuyumi are twins and get body-swapped and learn about the lives they've developed since being separated and grow closer as a result. Fucking hysterical, great characterization of Fuyumi specifically, and surprisingly sweet and sad when it wants to be.

journey to the past by aloneintherain

When Izuku's classmates are pro heroes, they time travel back to when Izuku was little and save him from villain attacks repeatedly over the course of his life. This is heartbreakingly sweet. It shows all of Izuku's baggage and loneliness while simultaneously giving us the best friend bonding that is Pro Hero Class A playing with baby Deku. It's like getting an ice cream after getting decked in the nose.

Confusion by bortzy

Todoroki and Kirishima bonding over being gay. That's kind of it, but it's cute. I like Kirishima and Todoroki being friends. It's just uncomplicated friend stuff.

Movin' Out by momojirounation

Todoroki and Yaoyorozu not knowing how to function so they ask their partners for help. Very cute and funny, I love platonic Todomomo, and also they're both autistic, which is just--yes.

i. shaky hands by rexcorvidae

Izuku has chronic pain on account of being the human embodiment of poor impulse control, so Dadzawa steps in and helps him deal with it. It's just nice. It's just nice seeing people treating Izuku well. It's vicarious catharsis.

If We're Being Honest by thequeenofwhump

Class 1A is hit with a truth quirk that causes them to spout "fucking word vomit" for almost a month, and because no one can lie, all the couples get together in, like, the first chapter, and it's great. It's hilarious, especially the internal narration of the characters, and there's a lot of really good friendship moments between everyone involved, and I do mean everyone. It's not just the usual angst-ridden characters like Todoroki and Bakugou. I have a whole review typed up for this bad boy, but I'd say it's worth a read.

Imperceptible by lunarecrypt

A Hagakure-centric fic was something I did not know I needed, but now I'm glad I have it. Hagakure needs stealth advice from Todoroki, and she finds out the barest bones of his backstory and why he is the way he is. I always love fics about less popular characters, and I especially love them when they're told from the perspective of an underappreciated character. I really like Hagakure, and I wish there was more available content about her.

Terrible Twos by PotterheadAvengerDemigod

Midoriya is hit with a Quirk that de-ages him back to when he's four years old, and since Bakugou is the only person he knows and remembers, Bakugou has to babysit him. Tooth-rottingly adorable and features Bakugou struggling not to swear in the presence of innocent baby Deku, lest his friends hit him over the head with a rolled up newspaper. It's great, fucking love it.

all according to keikaku................. by carolinaa

Kirishima gets sick of Midoriya and Todoroki's pining, so he decides to flirt with Todoroki in an attempt to not-so-subtly force Midoriya to confess by taking advantage of Midoriya's competitive streak. The characterization is really solid and features teenagers being teenagers, with all the hell that is high school put on full display. I just love it when class 1A is depicted as just the most Gen Z kids to ever exist. This fic is almost literally every conversation I've overheard or been apart of in homework group study sessions. It's great.

(Honestly, just go read everything by this author).

bff (brother friend forever) by carolinaa

A collection of snapshots showing Iida and Uraraka's friendship, where they're really just bratty siblings that love each other just so much. As always with this author, great writing style, fantastic characterization, and hit me in the fucking feels.

(Seriously. Read everything by this author. Especially if you want good Erasermic and Todo-family fics).

[sillyrabbit81]

I heard this song called Wishful Drinking by Ingrid Andress and Sam Hunt. It seems like such a Sy/Reader song, so I wanted to show you! It might be a good prompt if you're interested, but I really just wanted to share. Have a great day!

Summary: You and Sy contemplate your broken relationship.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x Female Reader

Word Count: Approx. 3.1k

Warnings: Angst (with a happy ending), Implied sex, implied oral sex, almost masturbation, recreational drinking.

Authors Note: Ok, so I’ve been unwell (Bronchitis) and really struggled to write all week until the last two days. This is probably not my best work, but I missed writing and had to do something. Thanks to @amberangel112 and @henryobsessed for beta reading.

Thanks for the prompt, Anon. I’ve never heard that song before (I assume it’s a country song???) but I listened to it a couple of times and a story grew from it, so thank you very much. I hope you like what I’ve done with it.

Edited by myself, there will be errors.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist

Wishful Drinking

You know Caroline is giving you side eye as you pour another glass of wine.

“Don’t judge me,” you say.

Caroline raises her hands in surrender. “I ain’t,” she says. You don’t believe her, but you let it go. “You wanna talk about it?”

You shake your head. “Just take his shit and go, will you?” You realised how harsh that sounds as soon as the words are out of your mouth. “Sorry, I’m just… I’m sorry.”

“Have you talked to him?” Caroline asks, waving away your apology. You shake your head again. “Look, I know he can be…”

“Stubborn?” you interrupt. Caroline nods. “This is more than stubborn. He’s never sent you to pick his stuff up before. He’s never been gone this long before.”

Caroline picks up the bag of Sy’s clothes and stands up. You get up to walk her out, but she shakes her head. “I’ll show myself out.” She pulls you into a hug and gives you a squeeze, it almost breaks you, everyone in Sy’s family seems to hug like that. She steps back and gives you a sympathetic smile. “Take care of yourself, ok? And call him, please?”

“You just want him out of your house,” you joke in a voice that quivers more than you would like it to.

“My brothers never been easy to live with, I don’t know how you did it so long.” Caroline laughs. “You’re a saint.”

You chuckle but your hearts not in it. You follow Caroline to the door despite her telling you not to and wave goodbye before locking up.

Flopping on the lounge with a shaky sigh you refill your glass of wine and turn on the tv, scrolling along until you find the romantic comedy section. Fuck it, you’re going to think about Sy and cry anyway, may as well make a night of it.

You settle in for the meet-cute, already feeling the tears well in your eyes. The couple’s meeting isn’t too dissimilar to how you and Sy met. You had met at a party at Caroline’s house and the attraction was instant. Sy had played it cool though, subtly hinting at his interest throughout the night. You however couldn’t play it cool, becoming a bumbling idiot every time he spoke to you. As people started to leave, Sy had offered to drive you home. You had accepted only because he was Caroline’s brother and she had encouraged you to let him. He had been a perfect gentleman, even as he walked you to your door.

“Thanks for the lift, Sy,” you said. It felt like that awkward time at the end of a date when you don’t know exactly how the other person is feeling about how it went, not sure of expectations.

Sy had smiled and moving slowly, as if he were reaching out to a skittish pony, he put a hand on your cheek. His touch felt like fire, his hand was so warm against your skin and its heat seemed to travel straight through your body, making you burn up.

“I wanna see you again,” he said. “Would you like that?” It was strange, despite the question it didn’t feel like he was asking.

You bite your lip as you considered. It wasn’t that you were going to say no, you just didn’t want him to think you were too eager. Eventually you nodded.

Sy’s smile grew, showing you his teeth and you notice the dimples in his cheeks, almost hidden by his beard. “Friday night.” Again, his tone struck you, like he wasn’t asking you, yet somehow it didn’t feel creepy.

“Yeah, uh, pick me up here at seven?” You hated how nervous you sounded, but you found him so attractive you couldn’t help it.

Nodding Sy agreed and his free hand moved to cup your other cheek. “I wanna kiss ya before I go.”

Licking your lips, you nodded again. God, you couldn’t have spoken in that moment even if you wanted to, shit, you could barely breathe. Sy moved in, his eyes on yours until you closed them at the last moment before his lips met yours. His kiss was light, almost a tease, and he hummed as you kissed him back. Your hands went to his wrists, you could feel the tension in them, as if he was holding himself back.

Then he pulled away, not much, just enough to let you breathe again. “Friday. Here. Seven.” Sy confirmed. You nodded and he kissed your forehead. “Night, baby.”

He took a few steps away and like a gentleman, waited until you were safe inside and had shut the door before he left.

Wiping a few tears from your eyes, you fill your glass again. Your relationship had started well, moving slowly, lots of dates that ended with making out at the front door before they eventually moved to your couch. Sy always left before things went too far, it was almost frustrating, like a slow burn romance novel. But it was sweet, you liked that he didn’t push too hard.

About three months in, you had moved from your couch to your bedroom. He had made you feel like you were offering him the most precious thing. The first time you opened your legs for him and he saw you, it was like he was in awe, almost reverent, as he lowered his head into you. He took his time, savouring the moment, like he wasn’t sure you would ever let him in again. Yet he controlled everything, not taking what he needed until he was sure you were satisfied. Three times.

You don’t understand how it went from that to this. No one could touch you the way he did and not mean it, you had thought. You still think that. Maybe it is the alcohol talking but surely, it can’t be over. The connection you two have is too strong.

Getting tipsy by the halfway point of the movie, the couple were going through the required miscommunication that was a pre-requisite to every romcom ever made. It makes you wonder if that is what’s happening to you and Sy now. You’re just going through the rough patch that all couples go through before you reunite, maybe at another party, maybe you’ll be behind him in the line at the store, maybe he’ll knock on your door.

You know it’s the alcohol. Your breakup was final, he was gone. But the hope you have is still there, after all, he hasn’t really moved on yet. Half his stuff is still here, and he hasn’t found a place of his own yet. Maybe there’s still a chance for you and Sy, you have to believe it’s possible, your heart won’t take it if it’s not.

“’S open,” Sy says. He nods as Caroline opens the door and lifts a bag in the air. “Thanks, just drop in next to the door.”

Caroline looks Sy up and down, raising an eyebrow in judgement. Sy looks down at himself, laying on the bed, half-dressed, a half-drunk six pack on the mattress next to a half-eaten pizza. Feeling nicely buzzed Sy chuckles and thinks it’s appropriate since he feels like half a man.

“You look like shit,” Caroline says bluntly.

“Well fuck you very much, little sister.” Sy gives her a terrible wink. “I know I can always rely on family to support me.”

“You could call her you know,” she says.

Sy clenches his jaw and turns his attention back to the game playing on the lap top lying on his chest. “She don’t wanna hear from me.” When Caroline doesn’t reply Sy looks at her. “Does she?” He hated the hopeful tone in his voice. “Did she say somethin’?”

“Just that you’re stubborn,” Caroline replies, her lips curl into a smirk. “She ain’t wrong.”

“She can’t talk, she’s a goddamn mule,” Sy shakes his head.

“She ain’t the one livin’ on pizza and beer in her sisters guest room though, is she?”

“I’ll leave soon, don’t worry.”

“We both know why you ain’t left yet, you still think she’s gonna ask you back,”

“It ain’t my fault she…”

“Does it matter?” Caroline says. “Does it matter whose fault it is if you’re both goddamn miserable?”

“She’s miserable?” Sy doesn’t like hearing that you aren’t happy, that’s not what he wants for you, but there is a part of him that’s glad, hopeful that maybe you miss him as much as he misses you.

“Just call her,” Caroline says before leaving and closing the door.

Sy tries to concentrate on the game, but he can’t. With every drink he takes he gets drawn deeper and deeper into the memories he has of you. He remembers the way your eyes lit up when he came back from his last tour and he told you he was retiring. The way you cried tears of relief when he told you he’d never leave you again, the way your little arms held him so tight. The way you clawed at him when you made love that night, the way you didn’t stop kissing him, touching him, the way you clung to him even in your sleep. It had to mean something. That had been real, surely, you couldn’t have faked that. He couldn’t believe you could turn off that feeling as quickly as it seemed like you had.

Try as he might, Sy can’t stop thinking about you, can’t stop feeling your touch in his mind. Pushing the laptop off and closing it, his hand slips into his sweats and he groans. Fuck, he wants you so bad, wants to feel you touch him for real, see your smile as he walks into the room, fuck, he just wants to know you feel even half of what he feels for you.

Forcing his hand out he grabs his beer and thinks. Caroline said you were miserable, maybe you do still feel something for him. Maybe you’re as messed up as he is. His phone is in his hand and scrolling for your number even before he realises what he’s doing. Fuck, he ain’t gonna drunk dial you. No goddamn way. Fuck that. He ain’t gonna crawl back to you.

Sy gets up as he downs the last of the beer. He pulls out his jeans and clean shirt before he goes to the bathroom, maybe a cold shower will set him right. When he gets out, he has a look in the mirror and thinks his neck could do with a shave. His beard is ok, it’s a little messy but she likes it like that.

“Shit,” Sy curses himself. You’re fucking thinking about going to her place ain’t ya? He was too. He’d had enough, he misses you.

Just as the couple start to make up, your doorbell rings. For a moment your heart fills with hope but you look at your half empty bottle of wine and realise it’s just wishful thinking. Your tipsy, but not drunk, not drunk enough by half to really believe Sy could be at the door.

“Coming,” you call as you wrap your blanket around your shoulders as if it’s a shawl. You’re tempted to take your glass of wine with you, but you leave it. You look dishevelled enough as it is.

As you walk down the hall, you bump your hip against a doorknob, and you hiss. “Fuck,” you cry. You must be drunker than you thought.

“Sugar?”

Ok… very drunk, now you’re hearing voices. And not just any voices, Sy’s voice.

“I’m fucking wasted,” you mutter as you open the door. “Holy Fuck, Sy!” You weren’t hearing things. Sy is standing at the door and… God fucking damn, he looks good. Why is he all dressed up? He’s wearing his good jeans? Did he go out tonight? Maybe on a date? Caroline didn’t mention that he was dating.

“Hey, Sugar,” he drawls in his rough baritone.

Oh shit, he’s drunk too, his accent is so thick when he’s been drinking and only people who know him well would pick up the slight slur in his words. Wait, did he drive here? Looking past him, you don’t see any sign of his truck and you know he didn’t take his bike, that was still in your garage.

“How’d you get here?”

“Uber,” he says with a shrug.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, immediately kicking yourself. “I mean, if you want those clothes, Caroline already…”

“I know,” Sy interrupts. “That’s uh, that’s not why I’m here.”

“Oh,” you say, softly. “Why are you here?”

“I wanna come in.” You humph, but before you can complain about his choice of words, he surprises you. “Please, baby. Can I come in?”

“Fine,” you say. “I suppose you technically still live here.” You amble your way down the hall back to your couch, careful to avoid the abusive doorknob. “Watch out for that doorknob, it’s a bastard.”

“Did ya hurt yourself?”

“The doorknob and I had an argument and I lost.” You plop on the couch, bringing the glass and wine with you, giving yourself another top up. You sure as hell need it, whatever he was here for you don’t believe it’s a good reason. Was he just looking for a drunken hook up? Did his date not go as planned? Sy just stands in the middle of the room, staring at you as you take a big gulp of wine. You stare back at him; you can’t get over his clothes. “You’re all dressed up.”

Sy looks at his clothes like he has no idea what he’s wearing. The white t-shirt under his red flannel was thin enough for you to make out the hair on his chest and you force yourself to look away. Fuck, why did he have to be so hot?

“Did you go out tonight?” you prompt, mentally preparing yourself for the answer.

Sy shakes his head and finally sits down on the other end of the couch. “I was just at Caroline’s and watchin’ the game.”

“That explains why you’re drunk, but not why you’re dressed like that.”

“What do ya want me to say, Sugar?” Sy seems annoyed. He catches your eye, and despite being tipsy, you realise he’s not annoyed. He’s nervous, maybe embarrassed too. “I wanted to come see ya that’s all. Didn’t wanna show up in the sweats I’ve been wearin’ for three days.” You wrinkle your nose in disgust and Sy laughs. “Exactly.”

You see Sy relax, he sits back in the couch, his body turns towards you and resting his arm along the back of the cushions. You take another gulp of your drink, Sy watches you, which makes you want to drink more, but Sy suddenly leans forward and takes the glass from your hand.

“Hey!”

“You’re gonna be sick if you have much more,” Sy says.

“So?” You groan internally at how petulant you sound. Sy just gives you a look, the look that says, ‘you better think twice before you act’. You hate that it still works on you, and you hate the way blood rushes between your legs. “Why are you here, Sy?”

Sy’s look softens as he places the glass on the coffee table and puts his arm back over the back of the couch. His arm is long enough that his fingers can reach your neck and he starts to caress your skin softly. “I was thinkin’ about ya.”

You bite your cheek, just enough so it hurts, and you know you’re awake and haven’t passed out in some sort of romcom nightmare. As much as you want to believe Sy is here to try and make up, you don’t think you can.

“I’m not going to quit my job Sy.”

“I know,” he says, simply. “I shouldn’t have asked you to.”

“That’s the point Sy,” you say, trying to keep your voice calm. You don’t want to fight again. “You didn’t ask. You never do. You flat out told me to quit, or you’d walk. After years of me dealing with you being gone for months at a time, it was really fucking unfair of you.”

Well, there goes staying calm. You brace yourself for a fight, but Sy doesn’t bite. He doesn’t say anything, just keeps caressing you, a little harder now, his finger and thumb digging deeper into your muscles you thought would be relaxed by the amount of alcohol you had to drink.

“I know it was.” Sy admits. “I was bein’ selfish. I missed you.”

“So, your solution was to break up with me, so you could miss me more?” You ask with a smirk.

“It wasn’t exactly a well thought out plan,” Sy chuckles.

“I spoke to my boss,” you say. Sy raises his eyebrows. “He’s taking me off the night shifts, just mornings and afternoons now.”

“You did that for me?” Sy asks in a low tone.

You nod. “It’ll be less money, but you’re making more now so we should be ok.”

“Come ‘ere, baby,” Sy puts his arms out and you move closer to him. He wraps his arms around you, bringing your head to his chest. He leans back into the couch, kicking his shoes off and bringing his feet up. Sy strokes your hair a bit and lifts the back of your shirt, his hand goes to your bare hip and his thumb rubs over your bone. Laying a soft kiss against your forehead he asks in a husky, low tone, “Are we good, baby?”

Lifting your head, you look at him, his eyes locking on yours. His brows draw together, and his hand moves to your cheek. You look at him a long time, trying to gage his sincerity. Is it even realistic to think this won’t happen again? You don’t want to keep doing this, keep breaking up and getting back together.

“I ain’t good without you,” Sy murmurs.

You reach out to him, putting your hand on his neck and pull him towards you. Closing your eyes, your lips meet his and you kiss him gently. Sy’s arms tighten around you as he kisses you back, but he keeps his lips soft. He’s holding himself back. You almost tell him not to, to just take you to bed, but you don’t.

“Will you stay tonight?” you whisper.

“You want me to?” Sy asks, mirroring your soft tone. You nod and he seems to let out a breath he was holding. “Then course I will.”

Smiling slightly, you lower your head back down onto Sy’s chest. You hear his hum rumble in his chest before he rolls onto his side, tucking your head under his chin. He strokes your hair as you reach the arm you’re not lying on under his shirt and lay it in the middle of his warm, woolly chest. Sy hums again, kissing the top of your head and you close your eyes, letting the steady beat of his heart beneath your fingers lull you to sleep.

[luckyshotwrites]

Ch. 44 // Just My Luck // Day 27

Contents (Warnings): Luck doesn't last forever, does it? (vore mentions, angst, bobobean teasing, and as always character/monster info).

Wordcount: 4,500 + (I hate that I keep losing motivation while writing these).

Side note: This will contain experimental writing, first person (Lynette's view) will be implemented alongside third person for the two other essential characters, (mostly) Alexander and (occasionally) Drake. For those third person moments all their text will be italicized and have the characters name in Bold at the start. There may be other characters I write for using this.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(Oct. 14th, Friday)

Drake

Option 1 it is. Drake threw himself out of his chair; Lynette and Alexander were too fixated on each other to notice. However, Alexander’s vision pulled to him once Drake moved behind her. He couldn’t reach her in time, even if he wanted to. 

Drake looped an arm around her waist and pulled her into his body. His other arm went over her shoulder and caught her chin as a yelp fled her lips. 

“I want her too,” Drake said. “So let’s play a game.”

Alexander’s smugness dropped. The typical malicious, narrowed gaze didn’t come out when he looked at Drake.

You and I both know I would. Drake’s grip tightened. Lynette didn’t really struggle, but the way her hands delicately rested on his arms, he could tell she wanted to. This is why I tried to avoid this option. He felt the soft fragileness of her skin between his fingers. He knew how easy it’d be, how foolish it was of her to have her back to him. 

He hunched closer, seeing the break of her flesh between her red wavy curls. It’d be nice to have some more. 

“FINE.” Alexander’s growl snapped Drake’s eyes back to him, “but I’m picking our game.”

Drake took his moment of clarity to release her. He let out an exhale and tucked his hands into his pants pockets. She bumbled back and near the table. June got up and looked over at her to ensure she was okay. 

Drake took note of her distance. Lynette was far enough to dodge a grab but still close enough that she couldn’t avoid a second attempt. 

For good measure, his eyes kept on his threat ahead and didn’t look in her direction. Alexander wants to pick a game? He questioned in his head. If he decides, it’ll be something we can’t win, like arm wrestling.

Drake twisted the cloth inside his pockets and gave an up-nod in June’s direction. “He picks it so that way it’s fair.”

June smiled, happy to be included in the loop he didn’t understand.

“Like hell,” Alexander replied. He closed the distance with his stride and left a small gap between them. Alexander lifted his hand and pressed at his chest, “I’m picking.”

Drake took in a deep breath, unmoving. If he uses any kind of magic, I’m screwed. Drake’s thoughts were tucked behind his calm, steady wine mixture. In contrast to Alexander’s sparking storm clouds. 

“June’s picking for us.”

Alexander’s eyes shifted subtly to June’s friendly expression. Drake could tell not only with the lingering in that direction but his sudden sputter of rhythm. He took the time to look over her too. 

“Fuck.” He ran his hand back through his hair and turned away, “fine, June pick something quick and easy.”

Drake didn’t release his breath yet. His eyes scanned the room as if he expected some kind of further danger. Drake noticed the five of them-five? He didn’t know when. At one point, Tila had made her way into the break room near the kitchen area. A distance from them.

“Quick and easy?” June said, unphased by them.

He peeked toward Lynette. She had her own edge of the curved table near June. Her legs were close to one another, and her arms up, defensively over her chest. She looked reserved and weary, and as he let out his breath, he felt her tautness again. His fingers curled in the restraints of his pants like he held her once more. 

June’s voice pushed his way into their heads again, “I got one!” He took out his phone, faced away from Lynette, and typed for a second. He then placed his phone on the table, “pick a number between 1-10, the closest wins!”

That won’t work well with 3 player-

Lynette blurted out, "7!"

“2!” Alexander said, twisting back to face them all. 

You both took the best options. Drake thought. He sighed and spoke, “5.”

June laughed and pulled his phone from the table, slightly knocking at the pizza box. He showed Lynette first as she was closest to him. Then he showed Drake and Alexander as they neared. “It was ten because ten has two numbers, so it’s twice as cool!”

His joyous hum made Lynette smile after her relief was expelled. 

Drake let his breath go too. 

Alexander went around the other side of the table and took a seat. Then let his head bang down with disappointment. 

“Looks like you win, Lynette. Good job!” June congratulated her. 

Drake sat in his original seat across from the entrance in the far back corner next to the couches. 

The intense glare burned him, and he looked back at his friend. I’m helping both of you, Chase. She doesn’t want to be eaten, and if you keep eating her so much, I’m sure she’ll lose the willingness to stay longer. 

Though, when he reminded himself of the human in the room, he couldn’t stop his tongue from running across his fangs. I knew it’d be bad if I got physical with her. He knew if he held her any longer, he would have taken his ripe opportunity. As he would with any in her place.

...

Lynette

“Hello, everyone.” 

Even Tila’s flat and mellow tone spooked me. I won. It’s okay. I’m fine. We said hi to her. She pulled a chair up between Alexander and me. I appreciated what she did, whether it had been intentional or convenient. 

 One of these days, he might say, “screw the game,” and go after me anyway. My legs jerked at the thought. Lev already threatened to do it. 

Tila put an apple from her fruit bowl to her lips, “why the long face, Alexander?” She took a bite.

“Fuck off,” Alexander said with little vigor. He didn’t even look at her.

Tila shrugged and ate it. June resumed eating the leftover pizza and offered me some again. I declined as I lost my appetite. Not that I didn’t eat a lot earlier. 

I glanced over at Drake, who looked to be in an intense staring contest with Alexander. He did it to get Alexander into a bet, right? If he was serious, would he have acted? I didn’t know. No. Drake wouldn’t attack me without reason. He never has. I pushed the festival out of my mind. I figured I said or did something wrong. 

“H-hey, Drake.”

His head cocked in my direction. “hmm?”

Wait, what am I doing! I can’t thank him when Alexander’s right here!

My eyes shifted away; come on, brain, give me something. What could I ask him? I said the first thing that came to mind, “can we continue that conversation from earlier?”

Drake’s head tilted to Alexander, then back to me. His bangs did a great job of hiding his expression. I wish he wore his hat on lunch break, too, so I could see his eyes. 

“The one with wendigos being related to vampire beasts?” Drake asked.

Alexander lifted his head, keenly stared me down, and pointed to Drake, “you’re asking someone who’s not a wendigo about them?” The irritation rode off his words. 

I tightened my ponytail and hoped he'd stop his stare if I didn’t look at him, “anytime I try to ask you something, you always make it gross.”

He put his hand up and pinched his fingers together while looking at me between them, “it’s not my fault you’re so small.” He closed his left eye, inaccurately pretending I was smaller than I was. “And you act so preyish….” He trailed off and muttered quietly enough that I could not hear him. His longing smile told me enough. 

“Point proven.” I shied back in my chair. 

He sighed, “shut up.”

I’m not getting anywhere with him.

Tila lifted a cold slice of pizza, “if you want to know more about other species, Lynette, why not ask one of the most qualified.~” She tried to put the slice to her lips and almost sent it into her mint green loops because she awaited a question from me.

Alexander rolled his eyes. 

June enthusiastically nodded and pushed his pizza into his face to get rid of it faster. “Yeah! Tila knows a bunch about monsters!”

“Then…you can start with Wendigos?” I muttered. 

“Start,” Tila wobbled on her chair. She moved it closer like she was about to tell me some of the juiciest secrets, “okay, from the beginning….” She closed her eyes and bobbed her head back and forth. “It all started when a vampire beast decided to go overboard with their mating rituals-”

Mating, what-oh gosh, this is not what I meant! I exclaimed in my head but bobbed along, so I didn’t seem rude. 

Alexander spurred to life and interrupted her, “The fuck, don’t say it like that. “He flashed me a seriousness I rarely saw. “A lot of monsters are weirdly developed.”

Tila agreed with him, “of course.” She held up a finger, “however, in my opinion, vampires and vampire beasts have one of the most unique birthing processes.” 

Drake lowered his phone and muttered, “Tila.”

“They take blood from their own species to reproduce offspring, instead of-”

Drake clapped his hands together, “You know, Tila.” He pointed his folded hands to her, “I don’t think Lynette’s interested in reproduction cycles for ANY species.” His head turned in my direction, “I think she wanted to know about wendigo's weaknesses.” He bobbed his head up and down, so I’d agree. 

I nodded when she looked at me. Thank you…

“So,” Alexander pressed his glasses up, “that’s why you were interested in my species?” He tapped the side of his head, “I’ll keep that in mind next time I win.”

PLEASE don’t. 

He wore a thick layer of smugness, “not that there’s much you can do, Lynette.” He rolled his head back and looked at Drake, “It’s not like I’m weaker in sunlight or anything.”

Drake smiled with a scoff, “at least I can feel satiated.”

“You-” he leaned over the table, “at least I’m powerful all the time and don’t have to wait to reach my full potential once a month.”

Drake winced like he received a slap to the face. He leaned over, too, “at least I can change into my form at will.”

We turned back to Alexander in wait for his next quip. Instead, Alexander’s face flushed, “fuck off, that’s not a monster-related weakness!”

“Still pretty embarrassing.” Drake held a triumphant smirk, “It’s like you’re not even one of us.”

Alexander sat back and crossed his arms, “says the monster that takes blood from someone when you could eat people twice as fast.”

Drake’s shoulders raised with a cringe, “eating someone was awful.” He looked at me, “no offense.”

Right…you did do that, didn’t you... “I wish the others thought the same.”

“You can’t sit here and tell me blood's better than eating someone!” Alexander’s voice shook a fist of offensiveness. 

I covered my ears and slid down my seat. I wanted to slither under the table and play something that had nothing to do with monsters. 

“You guys seem pretty different,” I muttered.

“That’s because Alexander’s an abnormality, other wendigos like blood,” Drake said.

Alexander sighed, “yeah. Some wendigos eat raw meat by drizzling their favorite species’ blood on it. I’ve heard it works the same.” He flinched and put his hand to his mouth. “Or…” Alexander’s lip rose with disgust, “I don’t see why they’d do that. Especially if you’d like the flavors of someone.” He looked in my direction while I felt too uncomfortable to respond, let alone look at any of them, “you’re the one that asked about wendigo’s.”

My stomach rolled and begged me to throw up. 

Tila, who waited for a fight, finally spoke. “Weakness related, Wendigo’s-”

I put up my hands, “you know, I appreciate it, Tila, but I think I gotta rest.” I slipped out of my seat and sat on the ground. 

June looked over at me, “did you fall?”

“Purposefully, the ground feels better than the table right now.”

June smiled, “oh, is it?” He plopped down in front of me. “It’s nice and cold.” 

I nodded, “yeah.”

“Wanna play checkers.” He showed me his phone, which he had played with throughout our conversation. At least, that's the lie I went with as he kicked my butt at it.

…

I loved the freedom. I felt more accomplished when I could work and not have my day over in what seemed like thirty minutes. 

Yet my head denied me peace. It’s like the more I learn, the more confused and worried I get. I shook it. At least some of them seem nice. I should rejoice in that. Be positive.

Alexander, Drake, and I returned to the time clock, biding our time. 

Yet again, I had my back to the break room hall. It was like when I came in all over again. 

Alexander looked down at it, leaned over the time clock, and spoke, “what are we doing today?”

Lev…great. I turned back. 

“Right, it’s my day, huh?” He acted like he wasn’t prepared for it. He leaned near me and sniffed, “You surprisingly don’t smell like anyone. Did you really avoid Alex all by yourself today?”

My thoughts left my lips, “and I’m gonna avoid you too.”

Lev whistled with laughter, “really?? Oh, can’t wait.” He lifted his hand condescendingly and patted my head. I ducked down and pulled away. 

“What’s the game?” Alexander repeated.

Lev pulled out a deck from his front pocket. He shook the playing cards, making them rattle in their case. “Poker.” He tapped at his other pocket, “I got a few chips too, so we can bet hours.”

My eyes widened, “H-hours?!” 

“Any chips you accumulate are hours you can use to get out of deals with us, while hours we have, we can use on you.”

“All that in ONE game?!”

Lev smirked, “what happened to that bravado, little Lynette?”

“I don’t want to bet hours again! I just got out of-”

“I’m not playing.”

We both looked back at Alexander. Drake sighed and didn’t say anything. He’s the last person I’d expect to say no. What happened?

“I thought you’d be the most on board.~ You don’t want a chance to eat her outside work again?” Lev glanced at me, “I know it sounds fun to me.”

I shivered. I promised Wicks I WOULDN’T be doing this again. 

Alexander’s lip rose with a slight snarl, “she’s way too annoying to deal with outside of work.” He said, but when his eyes fell on me, he looked as he always did. Hungry. 

Drake got between Alexander and Lev before the dragon could pester further, “time to scan in, guys.”

…

Alexander

Great. He thought, eyeing Lynette briefly as he worked next to her. The distance between them did nothing to stop his thoughts. He had his thumb tip in his mouth and bit it lightly, not to draw blood, but to stop his frustration. 

Why can’t you just agree? He asked in his head. When the game proposed entered his head, he clutched his fist in response to the old burn on his back. 

“Xander,” her timid voice reached his ears. 

He leered over her. 

She flinched at his expression. You’re acting appetizing; quit it. “What?”

Lynette pointed down and by his legs, “um-can you pass me that bottle next to you…I was going to wipe down the counters.” 

He bent down, got it, and tossed it up to her. She fumbled at first and hugged the bottle when she flicked it into herself. “Thank you.”

She got the cloth wet and started to clean her side. 

He decided to do the same. He would clean over his side and the machine next to him. They had free time, and there weren’t any customers besides those who ate in the dining area. But, they rarely needed help. 

Alexander grabbed the squirt bottle she left on the counter. Of course, Lev gives out an offer I'd want... He squirted his cloth. And the dream stepped back into his mind.  

Squirk

Why did I- He clutched the cloth tighter.

Squirk, Squirk

He started to huff. His lungs felt like they held lead weights, and his breathing started to hurt. 

Squirk, Squirk, Squirk

How did that even happen? Why the fuck did my body force a bind? 

Squirk, Squirk, Squirk, Squirk, Squirk

“Xander..”

I’m so-

“Xander!” He stopped with the touch. He dropped the bottle and grabbed her wrist. He squeezed, and she cried out weakly. He let go once he realized what he had done. 

He put his left hand out to her and then realized the wetness in his right hand. He saw his rag was soaked, dripping all over the counter. He let go of it and wiped his hand on his pants. He still faced her as he did so, “are you-”

“I’m fine-” Lynette replied. She moved her wrist around. “It just surprised me….” She pointed to the rag, “I tried to stop you.” 

“Right.” Alexander got another rag from under the counter and wrapped it in his new one. “I’m going to take this back.” He said as he walked past her and felt like he could hear her voice tell him, "you can have a full day." 

All this happened because of that journal...something you should have cared nothing about.

…

Lynette

He looked so angry. I assumed if I asked, he'd attack. I don’t know what I did, but…There were still no customers, and Viola hadn't finished the bathrooms, so I cleaned Alexander’s side. 

When he returned, he held a new rag, then squinted over the spot. He looked up at me. I paid him no mind as a customer came to the counter. We need to keep our areas clean, that’s it. I wish I could say to him.

...

Lunch came faster than expected.

Lev beckoned Alexander and me over to the table. “You know, I thought of something entertaining instead.” We both sat with him. Drake didn’t look amused. “And because I’m feeling so generous right now, Lynette, as long as you don’t lose, you'll be counted as the winner~.”

Alexander raised a brow, “with poker?”

“No. No.” Lev opened up the pack of cards and started to shuffle them. “I saw a video on this game during break. It’s called old maid." Lev tweeted in my direction. "We won’t bet on hours yet. I’ll save that for later.~” 

He did the fancy riffle shuffle, which Wicks and dad excelled at. He had already removed one of the queens and had it on the table in front of us. “If you do lose….” Lev paused, and another wicked idea popped into his head, “I’ll tell you after you do.” He said with a playful grin. 

“I’d rather not know what dreadful, disgusting things your mind has cooked up,” I replied. 

Lev started to pass out all the cards.

“So, we don’t win unless she loses?” Alexander asked. “And if she loses, we all win?”

Lev put a finger to his lips as he finished handing them all out. “I'm not spoiling the fun.”

I got rid of my matches like everyone else. What is Lev planning? There can only be one loser, and it’ll benefit them all? Is it like the-I don’t want to have to offer myself up as Lunch-. 

I wanted to sit away from the two. Alexander took the chair next to Drake, and Lev had the other, so I was stuck across from him and between my main troubles. I didn’t like the feeling of sitting between Lev and Alexander. At least I got rid of a lot of cards, and I don’t have a queen.

The first few draws were easy. I didn't look at them during the exchanges either.

The tension grew as our card numbers got smaller. Lev wore a big smile. 

I reached toward his deck, “you have one, don’t you?” I hadn’t seen one all game. 

Lev’s flames burned with the thrill, "who knows.~"

I reached out to his collection of eight cards and hesitantly grabbed one. He laughed as I looked over it. It was the queen. Which I thought would be fine until he also put down the pair of other queens.

“You held them!”

He sardonically answered, “no, no, of course not. I just didn't notice." 

You're a liar. Did you pass them all to yourself in the beginning? I had no choice but to continue. 

Alexander studied my expression and then the cards I held out. He had three left to get rid of. 

He whispered. "If you give me that queen, I will get you back."

I held my five cards up, "I am going to let myself lose over a threat." I continued, “plus, that’s not much of a threat anyway since losing means I get IN TROUBLE with all of you!"

He haphazardly reached into my recently shuffled hand and grabbed the queen. I sighed with relief.

Lev chimed in, "don't give her the win, Wendie."

Alexander flinched, ready to jump the table. "Shut up.” 

"Let me grab one," Drake reached over to take one from Alexander before he finished turning to him. 

"Hey," Alexander shuffled it first, then offered them. 

Drake was down to one card and only needed one more to win. 

I watched him reach for the cards, and his lips moved like he muttered something to him. Drake hesitated for a second every time and then either took the one he hovered over or went to the next.

"Wait, are you cheating?"

Drake got his last pair, “huh…no….”

Lev laughed aloud, "remind me to adjust our poker game for you, Drake."

They're all cheating! Drake can hear heartbeats, so could he tell when he would get a bad card from Xander?

Drake left the table to get blood.

So now Alexander offered his cards to Lev.

I figured Lev picked up the queen as his devious smile returned. I plucked one quickly from him, so I didn’t think about it, and got rid of another pair. I turned to Alexander, and he picked one from me, so I had three left. He had one, and Lev had five. Alexander finished when it was Lev’s turn to take his card. 

Lev put down a pair, so now he had four left.

I pulled one and sacked yet another pair. 

I put my two cards out to Lev.

He hovered his hand over my cards, "Do you want to know your penalty when you lose?"

He took the card from me and made himself a pair. I didn’t want to answer him as I looked over his two cards after he mixed them behind his back. I couldn't make up my mind.  

“How about I help you, Lynette.~” He lifted his cards to his face and opened his mouth. What is he doing? I asked as I saw him slowly run his tongue across one of them. THAT’S SO GROSS. HOW DOES THAT HELP ANYONE?! He offered them to me. “I licked the one that’d be very helpful,” Lev said.

Is he serious? Why would he be? He has to be lying to me. I hovered over the other. I had an aversion to the one he licked anyway. 

Then I remembered at the beginning of the game, he joked about not realizing he had a pair of queens. Would he lick the good card and then tell me he mixed them up again? I couldn't gather anything from his face beside his sick satisfaction. 

Drake left his lunch bag in the other break room, so he wasn't in the room, and Alexander was as quiet as us. 

It could be a trick, or he could be honest. He’s awfully honest. So- but joking about it would also be something he’d do. DANG, IT. 

“Lynette,” He hummed and looked at the cards, then at me, “I’ve made it so easy for you.~ Don’t you want to win? Or…do you really want more quality time together?”

I did eenie meenie miney moe’d it? Saw it was the saliva-ridden card and pulled the dry one. It’s the queen! I knew it! 

“You lied.”

Lev chuckled, “oh no, I said. I licked the one that would be very helpful. I didn’t specify for whom it would be helpful."

I shuffled the two in my hand and let him pick.

Lev held his hand between the two, “As I win, I want you to take another one of Claudia's small potions." Lev admitted. He took a card from me swiftly. What? “It lasted about three days, so that’s a day for each of us with…you~” He put down the pair in front of me. I was left with the queen.

I dropped the card and shook my head, “NO! That’s way too much for a bet-”

“I think it’s plenty fair. If you hadn’t lost, you would have been free today. And you still are since I need to talk to Claudia to get another one of those potions." He chuckled, holding a hand to his mouth. "I’m sure she’ll be happy to have it tested again.”

“Today! That’s it! I’m screwed for three days! I can’t do anything-” I stood up out of my chair. My heart flapped in its cage, desperate for release. Especially as I faced the dragon. “We shouldn’t-I won’t make bets that are more than just our-d-day!”

Lev stood up too. He grabbed my cheek and pinched it lightly, “you know what’s going to happen if you don’t agree.”

You'll stop making bets...Why do you have-. I couldn't reason it out. What can I do?

Alexander groaned, "Lev, I didn't just sit here playing-."

I pulled my cheek away. I can’t have them make such big bets!

“FINE. LEV-” I had my eyes shut and my fists closed. I said it as confidently as I could. “I’LL DOUBLE IT!” 

I waited for a second before peeking out from behind them. I saw the interest in his eyes. “On Monday, we are play-playing my game! If I lose, I-I’ll take two potions from Cl-Claudia.” I couldn’t help my trembling voice. I held up a finger, “b-but if I win, no m-more b-bet’s that last mo-more than a day.”

Lev smiled wide, “so, this win is still in effect, and you’re taking it regardless.”

I wanted to say no, yet they knew, especially Lev, that they had much more control than I did in this situation. 

“Yes, not until after my game Monday…if Claudia has it by then.” I couldn’t take my eyes off him. 

“Triple it, and you have a deal. After all, there are three of us.”

“9 days-” I whimpered aloud. I don’t want to do this. Why am I doing this? Why do I have to make bets with Lev? At least Alexander doesn’t do all these convoluted plots. He’s simple. Simply gross, but at least I can figure something out with him. 

Lev hummed, “is that a problem?~ You’d be limiting our betting potential after all. So higher stakes sound much more delectable, don’t you think?”

“Alright, triple it is-” I said, defeated. 

Lev plotted back down after. 

Alexander was too speechless to respond, and Drake walked in as I got up to leave. I didn't say anything to him as I passed and went into break room three. I sat on a couch in the back of the room and let my body fall sideways. 

What game am I even going to play? What can I play that only I’d win? My head ran around in search of an answer. And the more I thought, the deeper in despair I felt. It’s only been a little over a month…how will I survive a year. I have 203 days left after today. 

I looked through the list of games hanging partially off the couch. My grip gave way, and I watched as it bounced a few times before landing face down. 

I lifted it up to see the crack across the screen. "Just my luck," I uttered. 

First, I made a dumb, panicked decision with Lev. Then my phone bounces and breaks.

I rubbed the crack and turned the screen on. Bounces? I held my head. YES. I squealed in my head and sat up. I can WIN that dumb bet! I felt a giddiness return in my chest. I'll win it, and then... Then I hit my hand to my face. I'll just have to worry about everything else. 

…

Thank you for reading! :D Have a gouda day! (Nonnegotiable, if you're lactose intolerant, you're about to be in a lot of pain, sorry, not sorry. Lol).

First Chapter Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Catch up, see some maps/art, or check the latest release dates down below  ↓ ↓ ↓ 

What I’d do for a Livable Income (Synopsis/Chapter - List)

[switchy-niki]

Master post (please read ty)

Last updated - April 20th, 2023

Disclaimers

Hello !!! This is a SFW role play blog that will include tickling (not all the time) if that’s not your thing then please feel free to ignore/block.

I am not Niki (Nihachu) and I am not trying to impersonate her! As stated before this is a SFW role play blog

I am a minor. This is an SFW account ran by a minor.

I live in the PST time zone so be aware of that! 

I will also do roleplays that don’t include tickling! Be aware I have my own interpretation of niki and I am not caught up on lore! I also struggle with angst so I apologize if it’s not up to your expectations. When roleplaying I usually don’t roleplay off of lore so please tell me before hand if you want to roleplay off of lore /nf

I struggle with tone and interpreting what people are feeling/trying to tell me, so using tone tags is appreciated. I also use them so I know people know what I mean and how I mean it.

Boundaries

I will not do any sort of shipping.

I will not do tickle tools, if your character has wings or a tail then I will allow it. But that’s it. 

It would be much appreciated if you dm’d me about what you want to rp before sending an ask. But you don’t have to. I just like knowing what you expect out of me. (Idk if I phrased that right)

No feet tickling. Absolutely none. I will drop the roleplay if it seems like it’s heading towards that.

Pinning is okay. No bondage, the most I will do is wrists being tied together. That’s it.

I will do OC rps! Just know the interactions might not be what you expect since they aren’t characters that have interacted before! I will try my best, once again if you want the best results dm me! /nf 

Please use underarms instead of armpits, the word makes me uncomfortable. 

Sometimes tumblr says I’m active but I’m actually not, so be aware of that! I will not always answer right away so do not spam me plz and thank u

Lastly, feel free to send me an ask, dm me, anything! /nf

Under the cut is headcanons and extra notes. It’s a bit long and you do not have to read to roleplay with me! 

——Under Construction——

General Headcanons

Niki uses she/her pronouns but does not mind they/them!

She is a very light hearted person, none for her bubbly and sweet personality. But she is known to be a little feral around people she is comfortable with. She’s very clingy but only shows it subtly around people. Example being following someone around, standing close to someone, occasionally holding hands if the person is comfortable with it, hugging people, side hugs. She never lets go first when she’s hugging people. She would be usually be way more clingy but she’s kind of shy to show it. 

She is a very sleepy gal she is almost always tired and always taking naps wether they are 10 minutes to hours long and although it might be because she loves to stay up at night and watch the sunrise in the morning she usually gets good sleep she is just a napper

Appearance

Niki has scars, not a lot, but they are there (and they are a little ticklish but shhhh)

Short choppy pink hair, with two braids on the sides. It’s surprisingly really fluffy.

She is usually wearing light makeup because she likes how it makes her feel pretty. 

Niki has light eye bags, barely noticeable. 

Niki loves cardigans and sweaters, she was one in particular that she loves to wear for all seasons (it’s one that she stole from Wilbur) it’s a nice faded blue with a sun with a smiley face on it. She swears she didn’t steal it. Most of her clothing is faded colors, or whites and beiges. She has one pair of platform shoes, but the rest of her shoes are usually colorful high top converse or boots. She has knitted Shruggies and skirts, usually worn in the winter. 

If it’s more of a formal type of thing, she’ll wear a flowy dress made of soft material. She likes the way it swishes when she spins :] 

she also loves fuzzy gloves with weird colors washed together like those gloves coralline wanted in the movie

[seungmvnnie]

Flipped

pairing; Chenle x reader

genre; enemies to lovers au, ‘American high school’ au, angst, fluff

word count; 10.8k

summary; ‘The moment you laid eyes on Zhong Chenle, you had flipped.’ You had known that you were in love with Chenle, your next door neighbor, since you were 7 years old. Chenle wanted nothing to do with you. Until of course, ten years later he starts to realize that perhaps there’s more to you that meets the eye, unluckily just as you began to realize, perhaps Chenle was less than you had chalked him up to be.

warnings; insensitive language regarding illness, death, female reader, heavily inspired by the movie flipped, some scenes are near word for word from the movie, so credits to the movie for those parts, although parts of the main narrative differ, as well as scenes. A large majority of the characters are not similar to their real life counterpart. 

tag list; @sunflowerhae​ @byunbaekby​​ @mikasrecs​(if you asked to be on the tag list and i didn’t tag you, i’m very sorry, i was terrible at tracking who was on it cause im an idiot)

a/n; Started making it. Had a breakdown. Bon Appetit.

It all began in the Summer before second grade. In Zhong Chenle’s eyes, it was the beginning of a decade of strategic avoidance, awkward encounters, and a lifetime worth of what he deemed to be, discomfort.

For you, it was true love.

The moment you laid eyes on Zhong Chenle, you had flipped. It was something in those eyes, those dazzling brown eyes which bore into you. Or maybe it was something about his smile. There was something about him which made you realize that at 7 years old, you had met your soul mate. His family had just moved into your neighborhood, a long cul-de-sac of identical, modern two-story houses, the majority of which had the same identical clean cut lawns and typical nuclear well off family who owned the house and prided themselves on how their petunias were better than the house across the streets. That was except for yours, of course. Deemed the ‘embarrassment of the neighborhood,’ the yellow paint on your house was flaking off, the grass dry and grey and the fence encasing the yard, which had at one point been white was now a dull grey, not to mention falling apart in some places. This was attributed to the fact that your father simply did not have the time. As a painter, he had to work extra hard to provide for his family, especially considering your mother’s situation.

It was a hot summer’s day, the day Chenle moved in. You could remember the feeling of the sun on your face as you basked in its warmth, the pavement on which you sat almost boiling as the moving van pulled up to the house opposite yours. You had recalled that your father had told you to always be kind and helpful, which is why you had thought it appropriate to skip across the road to the nice looking family and offer a helping hand.

Little did you know, your help was unwanted. Chenle remembered watching the girl skip – skip? As if anyone had done that since kindergarten – from the odd-looking house across the way and when she confidently stated,

“Hi, I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Need any help?” He looked to his father for confirmation that this girl was strange. He noticed the judgmental look which was written on his father’s face as he surveyed the girl with the messy hair and grubby clothes, no doubt from playing in the unpleasant yard which she came from that juxtaposed with their clean, green yard. He recognized the exact moment that his father deemed them better than her, a switch in his face where he knew where she stood on the social ladder. Acting according, he too looked at the girl with disdain.

“There’s some valuable things in those boxes. Don’t touch them.” His father had scolded as you reached for one of the boxes that were stacked on their lawn.

“What about this one?” You suggested, reaching for another one. This was the moment that Chenle had realized that this girl could not take a hint. His father had pushed the box away with his foot before you could even touch it.

“Maybe you should run home? Your moms probably worried about you.” He sneered, staring down his nose on you. Resilient, you stared back.

“My dad knows I’m here.” You had replied simply, before turning to Chenle.

“Want to push one together?” You asked, pointing at one of the heavier ones. Chenle scrunched his face up at you, looking to his father for answers.

“I think your mom wants your help in the house, Chenle.” His dad had replied, not so subtly winking at him, as if to say, ‘escape from the crazy girl while you can.’

 He seized the opportunity, turning on his heel and running towards the house, where his mother stood in the doorway, when the most ridiculous thing happened. Not only did (Y/N) (Y/L/N) follow him, but you grabbed his hand.

“Oh, hello! I see you’ve met my son.” His mother had called out, a small smile growing on her face as she observed the sight of the two 7-year olds connected by their hands.

Chenle, having no clue how to escape the situation, did the most mature thing a 7-year-old boy could do. He hid behind his mother.

Who did you think you were? He had been here for less than 10 minutes and he had some crazy girl trying to hold his hand.

Of course, for you, you really had thought you were being kind. The boxes on the lawn did look intimidatingly heavy but you were sure with the help of the cute boy stood next to them, you could help get them into the house. You hadn’t picked up on the fact that it had taken Mr. Zhong all of 10 seconds to determine that you weren’t worthy of their time and when he had sent his son inside to help unpack, you thought maybe it would be a good idea to chase after him, see if he wanted to play for a bit before he was stuck unpacking boring boxes. You had grabbed his arm to stop him from running into his house, when he turned around and moved his arm out of your clasp, grabbing your hand instead.

You could remember vividly, the way your stomach had flipped as he stared at you with those deep brown eyes, and you had been so sure he was going to kiss you. He had held your hand! At 7, you had basically considered that a marriage proposal. If his mother had not have called out to you, you were sure you were going to have had your first kiss at 7 years old. The way he blushed and hid behind his mother was adorable, he was so shy.

That night you lay awake, thinking of the boy who was walking around with your first kiss.

If only he wasn’t so shy, maybe he would have. That was the moment you decided, you were going to do everything in your power to ensure that Chenle would not have to ever feel shy around you. He needed to know; he had a friend in you.

While sweet in theory, the reality of the situation was, Chenle believed he did not need the help of, what his father had referred to the evening after you, your two older brothers and your father brought over homemade pies, ‘trash like them.’ He especially did not need the help of the girl who embarrassed him on the first day of school. Yes, you had thought it appropriate, upon seeing Chenle enter the classroom of Mr. Lee on the very first day of school, to run up to him and give him a huge hug, which he of course, had struggled against. That’s what had earned him the reputation of being (Y/N) (Y/L/N)’s boyfriend, a reputation he did not manage to shrug off until freshman year of high school, and he only got rid of through dating Lee Chaeryong for an incredibly brief period of time, who was perfectly sweet, but he didn’t find her particularly interesting.

For a while, he found dealing with Chaeryong’s insistence yammering about nothing he cared about a lot easier to endure than the lovesick eyes you gave him. The plan was, he would walk her to class a few times, sit with her at lunch and eventually, you would lose interest, he could break up with her.  It was all going smoothly, until his best friend, Park Jisung, suddenly decided to get a moral backbone for once and tell Chaeryong what Chenle was doing. Chenle reckoned it was just because of Jisung’s own crush on her, but either way, it had resulted in a very public breakup. A week later, you were back to obsessing over him, and once again he became, (Y/N)’s boyfriend.

 3 years later, their senior year, brought a lot of changes, the main change of which being Chenle’s grandfather had permanently moved in with their family. Chenle did not know much of his grandfather. An old surly man, he spent his days sat in the armchair beside their front window, staring blankly out into the empty street. Chenle’s mom said he did that because he missed grandma, although Chenle would not know as much he had very little conversations with him. The second change in Chenle’s life was more superficial as everyone was talking about how much (Y/N) had grown between the summer of junior and senior year – your face had thinned out, and you had a much more of a mature air about you and for a brief moment of, what Chenle had deemed insanity, he may have mistaken you as pretty. Of course, the second you had sent him the same goofy smile which graced your face every time you looked at him, and murmured the same,

“Hi, Chenle,” the pit in his stomach from the tired repetition of ten years returned.

“Hi, (Y/N).” He had replied, a tight-lipped smile sent your way.

 It is imperative to the justification of your side of the story that you understand that Chenle had never once openly rejected you, or even treated you rudely. You would talk to him when you could, and he would reply perfectly politely, which would only reinforce the idea that it’s not that he did not like you, he was just shy. On top of that, it was not as if you actively pursued him. You spoke to him like one would a friend as, how you saw it, everyone knew you liked Chenle, no doubt, including him. If he wanted to, he would ask you out. Other than that, you were content talking to him when you could.

 Other than your looks, a lot more had changed in your life. For almost as long as you could remember, your mother had been sick. There had been a time, a very long time ago, where you could recall how the same scalic motif would echo from the piano which now lay dormant, the thick layer of dust that had blanketed it over the years rendering it inoperable. Your life had been filled with hospital visits to a woman you had never really gotten the opportunity to know and who no longer knew you. You often grazed your hand over the ivory piano keys, and tried to flick through the penciled sheet music which hadn’t been touched since the last time your mom had last scribbled on them but to you it was a foreign language you could only hope to understand.

About a week into September, you had been ignoring your English teacher’s in-depth analysis of some Shakespeare scene and letting your thoughts and eyes wander to where Chenle sat two seats in front of you. His black hair had seemed even darker that day, contrasting with the white t-shirt and denim jacket he was wearing. You were so focused on the way his head would duck down to take notes, that you barely noticed the teacher who had slid into the classroom and leaned to whisper something in your teacher’s ear. It wasn’t until your teacher had called your name and Chenle had spun to stare at you alongside the rest of the class, his brown eyes meeting yours, that you had snapped back into reality, the heat of your embarrassment at getting caught by Chenle warming your face. Funnily enough, you had forgotten about your embarrassment when your teacher had called you out into the hallway, where your tearful father stood. He didn’t have to say anything. You knew.

The next week all blurred together into a flurry of emotions which you purposefully tried your best to forget. The funeral was huge, groups of people from your school coming to show solidarity, as well as the entire neighborhood, including Chenle and his family. You could not bring yourself to glance at him, not with your father crying quietly next to you. You did not know whether to cry for the woman you had never met before. 

  Your school allowed you the next few months off school, but you had returned after only one month and that month was the quietest your house had ever been. Your father locked himself in his room for the first two weeks, and your brothers oversaw making dinner for the family, which essentially meant the whole family was living off frozen pizza for two weeks. Your dad eventually emerged from his bedroom, but when he did, he was like a man crazed. He insisted that you did a spring clean (it was September) of the house and get rid of the clutter which had gathered from the many years of neglect. You were in charge of sorting through all of the things your dad wanted to give to charity, and you had invited your friend Shin Ryujin over to help. More like she insisted. Ryujin had been new to town in freshmen year and had befriended you before she had known of your reputation as ‘Chenle’s stalker,’ and she had been a fierce friend ever since. You had both been folding a pile of old clothes when your eyes fell on your mom’s old music stand accompanied with that oh so familiar stack of written sheet music under a pile of old toys. 

You didn’t want your mom’s handwritten sheet music to end up in a charity shop but your dad had insisted that no one was using it, and, unless you could think of someone else to give it to, it was going to charity. That was when, luckily, you remembered Chenle. He was a skilled piano player and singer, so much so, the whole school anticipated his performance in the Christmas Talent Show, which he had won for the past 3 years. Upon gaining your father’s permission, but against the wishes of Ryujin who had spent the past three years explaining how Chenle was terrible for you and you needed to, in her words, ‘Hoe it up,’ you made the journey across the road and knocked on Chenle’s door, clutching the music stand and sheet music to your chest. Luckily, he had been the one to open the door instead of his father whom you didn’t personally mind, but felt as though he may have disliked you. 

It had been early before school one morning, when you had knocked on his door. He was barely awake, the sweatpants and loose t-shirt he had worn for his pajamas still clung to his body. He hadn’t expected to be opening the door to someone from school, let alone you, awake and bright eyed. On a normal day, your chirpiness would have bothered him to no end, but today was different. He hadn’t seen you since your mom’s funeral, and he found that he had wounded up missing your ever-present annoyance. He didn’t know how reassuring that lovesick, “Hi, Chenle,” could be. He couldn’t understand how, in your absence, he found his eyes straying to your empty seat, or when he sat at his desk which lay in front of his window, his eyes would wander to where he knew your bedroom window sat. He had realized, in the few weeks that you were off, that your presence was more comforting that your absence.

His dad hadn’t wanted to go the funeral. Apparently, he didn’t see the point. It was his mother who had pushed them to go, saying how bad they would have looked if they didn’t show their faces. His dad had argued that he didn’t care how he looked to a poor dreamer and the ‘crazies he calls family.’ The only reason they ended up going was because his mom had said she was going with or without him and apparently that would look bad to everyone else in the neighborhood. Chenle didn’t see the harm; sure he didn’t like you, but you were always nice to him and it was only respectful.

“Uh- Hi, (Y/N).” He said, eyes wandering down your body to where you clutched the sheet music and back up to your face. Your heart had flipped, a sensation you were now old friends with and usually attributed to Chenle’s warm brown eyes which traversed your face, his morning voice only making him more attractive. Little did you know, Chenle’s biggest concern at this moment was less checking you out and more checking if you were okay, and judging by the tired bags under your eyes despite your outwardly cheery appearance, you didn’t look okay.

“Hi, Chenle.” For once, those two words didn’t make him want to rip his own hair out.

“Uh, these are my mom’s. My dad wanted to give them to charity but, I don’t know, I thought they’d be better with someone I know... and well, you’re kind of the only musician I know.” His eyes flickered down to the sheet music you clutched in your arms.

“Oh- Thanks?” The music stand looked to Chenle to be at least 30 years old and the yellowing sheet music did not look too enticing, but he reached out his arms for them anyways.

“She wrote the music herself. You don’t have to play it but, I don’t know, I just really didn’t want to see it end up in the back of some charity shop. At least I know, with your talent, it’s in good hands.”

“Oh, well thanks.” You sent him an awkward closed mouth smile before turning on your heel but before you could make the short walk across the road, he called out to you.

“Wait-”

You spun around again.

“Yeah?”

He had stood up from where he had previously been leaning against the door frame, his brow now furrowed.

“Are you- are you coming back to school anytime soon?” He almost cringed as he uttered the words. He always felt bad being nice to you, it felt as if he was giving you false hope. However, for the first time, it came naturally to him as opposed to the fake smile he would give you.

“I’m allowed off until January but I’m coming back next week. It’s just so... quiet at my house. I’m kind of sick of it at this point.” His eyes scanned your face again, in the way that felt as though he could stare into your very soul if he looked hard enough.

“Well, I hope you’re okay.” The sincerity in his voice echoed the sympathetic look on his face.

“Thanks. I’ll see you next week, I guess.”

“See you at school.” He closed the door and looked at the music stand he had left leaning against the wall, which, unfortunately, became the topic of discussion that night at the dinner table.

“I think it was very nice of her to give you that stuff, Chenle.” His Mom had said, the clinking sounds of cutlery against plates underlying the conversation.

“I’m not using them,” He replied simply, as he moved the vegetables his mom had forcibly placed on his plate around with his fork. 

“Oh, don’t be a dick, Chenle.” His sister nudged him, ignoring their parent shouts of, ‘language!’

“I’m not being a dick, they’re about 30 years old and I’m a piano player, I don’t use a music stand anyways.” He placed his fork down.

“Well, they’re not lying here and collecting dust. I’m honestly annoyed. Just because their house is all cluttered doesn’t mean our house has to be. You can go back and tell her you don’t want them.” His dad interjected, in that authoritarian manner he so loved.

“Dad, I can’t do that.”

“Eat your vegetables, Chenle.” His mom said, taking a sip from her way-too-expensive crystal wine glass. He rolled his eyes and picked up his fork again, purposely taking a bite out of the broccoli which adorned his plate.

“Why not? Are you scared of her?” His dad challenged, and Chenle couldn’t help but notice the broccoli which remained on his plate. Why did Chenle have to eat it but his dad didn’t?

“I’m not scared of her, it’s just- Her mom just died. I don’t want to be mean.” His fork stopped moving as his Father scoffed.

“Man up. You aren’t being rude, you’re being honest.”

“Chenle, vegetables.” 

He groaned, shoveling as much of the vegetables into his mouth as he possibly could in one go before sinking down in his chair. He didn’t have a clue what to do. On one hand, the music equipment was of no use to him, so realistically, it would make the most sense to give them back. But on the other hand, if he gave them back they would just end up with charity and while Chenle didn’t necessarily like the girl, he didn’t think he could be that insensitive. Which was why he had deemed it an amazing idea to ask the paragon of good advice, his best friend, Park Jisung, at school the next day.

“Dude, just give it away yourself.” Jisung had answered assertively, from where he had perched himself atop his desk during their break, opening the cupcake that Chenle had given him. It had originally been a gift from Chaeryong who had long since forgiven him since the Freshmen incident, and every now and then when she got bored, would return to her phase of crushing on him.

“What do you mean?” Chenle asked, ignoring the way he could most definitely see Chaeryong staring at him from behind Jisung’s head, taking a sip of the strawberry milk he had bought from the school vending machine. Jisung rolled his eyes.

“I mean, if you give it away to some thrift shop first, she’ll never know, and you can tell your family that you told her. Boom, both people are happy.” Chenle chewed at the straw of his milk carton. He wasn’t necessarily wrong; in giving the stuff away himself, no one got hurt and he wouldn’t get called a coward by his family.

“Jisung, you’re a genius. Come with me after school? We’ll drop by my house and I’ll drive us into town.” Jisung nodded, cringing as he picked the love heart candy off the cupcake.

Unfortunately for Chenle, he hadn’t seemed to realize that, sat with her back to him was Ryujin, who had overheard the whole conversation, mostly because Chaeryong had insisted they eavesdropped on them to see if they talked about her. Ryujin had let Chenle away with a lot over the years; he had ignored you, laughed at you with his friends, talked about you behind his back and while she would discuss how much of a prick she thought he was with you, you never believed her, or blamed yourself, or make excuses for him. Which was why she deemed it a necessary evil to send you a text saying, ‘Want to go thrift shopping after school? I’ll buy you coffee?’

She knew you would never turn down free coffee. And it actually had turned out you had multiple boxes to donate anyways, although shopping with Ryujin was always an experience. You liked clothes shopping as much as anyone, but Ryujin was crazy. She could take 3 hours to go through one tiny shop.

“Ryujin? Are you done yet?” You had whined, the cardboard coffee cup in your hand had been emptied at least half an hour ago, and you had finished looking for clothes an hour ago. She was especially taking her time today, deliberating every item of clothing she saw and the dark lighting was starting to hurt your eyes, the musky smell of cedar wood and laundry detergent was inviting at first, but now made you feel woozy.

“My feet hurt.” You complained again, only pouting at the joke glare she shot your way. The bell which jingled every time someone entered the shop that you had learned to zone out the past two hours rang again, but this time, Ryujin’s eyes flickered up and rested on the person standing at the door. You furrowed your brow and spun to see who she was staring at, and there stood Chenle and Jisung, both looking positively ill.

“Oh- Hi, Chenle!” You waved, a small smile gracing your face. You cocked your head slightly to look at the two boys who had lost all color to their faces. Chenle still looked as good as ever, and the smell of his citrusy shampoo paired with his expensive smelling cologne cut through the woody scent of the shop, his chestnut brown eyes which lay beneath his messy mop of dark hair bringing butterflies to your stomach the way they always did.

“What’s wrong? You look as if you’ve seen a-,” you didn’t get to finish your sentence as your eyes had fallen down to where he clutched the oh so familiar sheet music and music stand. Your smile dropped, the butterflies in your stomach mutating into lead.

“What are you doing with those?” You asked, quietly, ignoring the way Jisung almost ran back out of the shop.

“I- uh- well...” He looked down, staring guiltily at his hands and the rusty music stand he clutched.

“If you didn’t want them you could have said, you know. You didn’t have to go behind my back to give them away.” You snapped, and for the first time in your whole life, looking at Chenle made your heart sink instead of flip. 

“It wasn’t me! My dad said that he didn’t-” He stopped, as if he had caught himself.

“Didn’t what?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. He sighed, and glance to the side, almost as though he was refusing to meet your eyes.

“He said he didn’t understand why our house had to be cluttered just because you only started cleaning up your house and yard now.” He mumbled, and your eyes widened, and you put out an arm to stop Ryujin, who you could sense was about to jump on the boy.

“I didn’t think a bunch of sheet music was going to destroy your house that much.” You replied, letting out a huff and gulping away the lump in your throat, refusing to cry in front of him.

“I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” He mumbled, staring at his hands in shame. He had never wished that the ground would swallow him whole more in his entire life.

“You should have told me. Give them to the shop, honestly. I don’t care anymore.” You pushed past him, resisting the urge to throw the empty cardboard coffee cup at him.

“(Y/N)!” He called after you and you turned again, blinking back the tears which were gathering in your eyes, the constant chanting of, ‘don’t cry,’ becoming a sustained pedal in your head and realistically being the only thing stopping the tears from spilling.

“What?”

“I- I’m sorry.” His chestnut eyes you loved so much stared at you in that sincere way that felt as though he could stare into your soul if he tried hard enough, but for once, you could see a corruption in the honesty, a sort of rotten core to what you had previously thought was a pure center.

“No, you’re not.” You mumbled, before spinning back round and dragging Ryujin out by the wrist who had to drop the clothes she had clutched previously in a pile next to the door, having been given no opportunity to replace them tidily.

At first you had thought you were upset, the burning sensation in your chest was mistaken for sadness, but when you brought your hand up to your eyes to wipe away the tears which now fell, the downtrodden feeling switched into anger very quickly. Not only did Chenle lie and act as if he had cared about you and your family, but he had the audacity to talk about you all as if you were a group of hoarders who couldn’t keep your yard presentable.

You slammed your car door shut - while you had previously loved your run-down little jeep, you supposed perhaps the Zhong family liked to comment on that too - ignoring the comforting words Ryujin was uttering as she climbed into the passenger seat.

“Are you busy on Saturday?” You asked as you gripped the steering wheel so tightly your knuckles turned white, turning the key in the ignition.

“Uh- I don’t think so. Why?” Ryujin replied, eyeing you warily.

“How do you feel about gardening?”

It didn’t take long for Chenle to realize he had traded in his old problems with (Y/N) (Y/L/N) for a whole set of new ones. You had returned to school the next week, and the way you constantly avoided him was simply a reminder of how much of a jerk he had been. Not to mention when he woke up on Saturday morning to discover you and Ryujin in your garden pulling up weeds, the guilt panging in his chest as he watched you toil away.

Then one day a week later or so, he was walking back from playing basketball from Jisung when things got weird.

His grandfather stood in your front yard, a pair of sheers in hand as he clipped at the hedges which had grown over your windows, conversing quietly with you as you worked.

He had only ever seen his grandfather in slippers - where the hell had those work boots come from? He didn’t even know his grandfather knew how to use sheers let alone would willingly help a random girl from across the street. The more he watched from his bedroom window, the madder he got. His grandfather had said more to you in the last hour than he had the whole time he had lived with them. Chenle wasn’t even sure if he had ever seen his grandfather laugh before, but there he was, laughing at something you said.

You had been struggling with hacking away the hedge when his grandfather had approached you. Ryujin had abandoned helping you a while ago, but you still appreciated the help she had given you originally. You knew gardening wasn’t necessarily her thing. You wanted to think that the reason you had decided to fix up your yard was not because of what Zhong Chenle thought of you, but to make your house better in this new pre-mom times, as your brothers had begun calling them. After what he had done with your mom’s sheet music, why were you meant to care about anything he thought? But sadly, you knew deep down you did.

“Are you pruning that Hedge or hacking it to death?” You heard someone call out, and you swung around to see a man whom you couldn’t help but recognize as being related to Chenle. They had the same smile.

You laughed awkwardly, clutching the sheers a little tighter. 

“I’m Chenle’s grandfather. Sorry it’s taken me so long to come over and introduce myself.” He smiled again and outstretched a hand which you then shook.

“Nice to meet you.” 

“Are you planning on cutting these all to the same height?” He gestured towards the hedges. You breathed in, looking at the hedges which you had previously been ruining.

“That was the plan, but I might have to take them out. I’m not very good at this, if you can’t tell.” You joked.

“Oh, these are Hicksii shrubs. They should prune up nicely.” He replied, pulling out a pair of gloves he had appeared to have brought with him, and reached out for the sheers you had been holding.

You eyed him wearily, as he cut at the hedge. “Listen, Mr. Zhong, if you’re here because of what Chenle said, I don’t need your help.”

He leaned back and looked at you sincerely.

“I don’t know what my little shit of a grandson said to you, but I’m just here because of the crime you were committing on these shrubs.”

The previous reluctance you had felt was immediately relieved as you let out a sincere laugh, not expecting his crude language.

You both worked together on the yard for weeks, and the whole time you worked, you talked. Mr. Zhong was incredibly kind, and it was honestly nice to know that there was someone in that house who wasn’t watching and waiting for your families next screw up. He told you how you had the same spirit as his wife who died a while ago; apparently you both had the same strong will. Although the conversation that stuck with you the most was a few days into working together and he had tentatively asked you about what was happened with you and Chenle. You had explained the situation while you painted the wood you had bought together to make a fence.

“Well, do you like Chenle?” He had asked, and your face warmed, your hand which held the paint brush stilling.

“I don’t know... It’s something about his eyes, I guess.” You looked down, embarrassed. It felt really weird discussing this with his grandfather.

“But what about him?” Mr. Zhong had asked, his hand still as well.

“What do you mean?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing as you turned your head.

“Well - I mean think of it like this. Your father’s a painter, isn’t he? Well, a painting is more than the sum of its parts. You have to look at the whole landscape. A cow by itself is just a cow, a tree is just a tree, a beam of light is just sunshine, but when you put it all together - it can be something magical. Do you think Chenle’s more than the sum of his parts?” If he had asked you a month ago you would have said absolutely. Chenle was entirely more than the sum of his parts, in every conceivable way. But now you weren’t so sure.

“I- I don’t know.”

Meanwhile, Chenle was still struggling to apologize to you. He had spent all week trying to approach you at school, but when it came to holding a grudge, you were truly impressive. You always found a way to duck him, either turning in the hallway to walk the other way or having Ryujin exit through doors first when he tried to block them to confront you. And every time you were out in your yard, his grandpa was always there. It wasn’t until one day, on a cold Saturday morning towards the end of October, when his grandpa had gone into town to buy cream for his hands because all the yard work was starting to get to him, that he found his opening.

“It looks really good.” He commented, grabbing your attention from where you were watering the grass with a hose. You looked up at the boy whom you had dedicated your life to, who stood awkwardly behind the fence you had put up with his grandfather. You wished you could say he looked bad, but in a flannel shirt, black t-shirt and jeans he had never looked better.

“Thanks.” You said quietly, turning your back to him to continue your work.

“I- I’m sorry for what I did.” He piped up and you sighed before switching off the hose and turning towards him again.

“I don’t get it, Chenle. You could have just told me you didn’t need them. You didn’t have to give them away behind my back.” You looked at him, and for once, you were the one looking into his soul, not the other way around. You looked into those eyes, those dazzling brown eyes which bore into you that belonged to the boy walking around with your first kiss and you thought that perhaps his Grandpa was right. Maybe Chenle wasn’t more than the sum of his parts.

“I don’t know - It was dumb. I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I shouldn’t have said anything about your yard either. It wasn’t right.” You let your eyes rest on his face again. You were sure - Chenle was definitely less than the sum of his parts. You shrugged.

“Maybe it was for the best.” You turned back towards the grass, turning the hose on again as if to signal, this was the end of the conversation.

“I- I guess I’ll see you around.” He said, hesitantly. You didn’t even turn to look at him this time.

“I guess.”

He spun to make the short trek back to his house, but not without turning back to look at you one last time before opening the bright red door of his house. Your acceptance of his apology was not all he had hoped for, but at least now he could watch TV with his family with a guilt free conscious. although the atmosphere between his grandpa and dad was nearly palpable, especially when his grandfather reached for the cream on the table beside them to rub into his hands.

“That girl working you too hard?” His dad slyly commented, ignoring the foul look his grandfather sent him in response as he rubbed cream into his hands.

“’That girl’s’ name is (Y/N). And no, she isn’t working me too hard.” 

Chenle’s dad widened his eyes slightly, staring down into the brandy which he swirled in the glass he held.

“Do you not think it’s a bit, I don’t know, weird, that you have the time and energy to spend time with the girl next door but not with your own grandson?” He replied snippily, ignoring the way his mom interjected.

“-It’s okay, Dad-” Chenle began, but couldn’t finish as his father cut him off with a sharp, “No, it’s not.”

“Do you know why the (Y/L/N)’s hadn’t fixed up their yard until now?” His grandfather asked, more rhetorically than anything.

“Yeah. Because he’s too busy with his paint-by-numbers kit.” His dad answered, chortling to himself at his own joke, taking another sip of the brandy he was drinking.

“The illness Mrs. (Y/L/N) had was incredibly hard to treat, not to mention emotionally draining. Every penny they had went into hospital bills treating her, and even then, she had been in a coma for 8 years, and then unresponsive for another 5.” Chenle stared down at his hands, trying his best to zone out the argument, especially considering he had been the asshole who tried to give away this poor woman’s music.

“I don’t see what their vegetative mother has to do with their pride in ownership. Realistically, if she had looked after herself more, maybe they wouldn’t have been in this mess.” His dad had answered, once again laughing at his own joke.

“They don’t own that house, they rent it. It’s supposed to be the responsibility of the landlord, and it was nothing to do with how healthy that poor woman was, (Y/N)’s Mom had a blood condition that made her susceptible to strokes, and that’s what made her so ill.” Chenle’s mom sighed from where she sat next to him on the blue couch, before his father had the opportunity to reply and dig himself into a deeper hole.

“That poor family. We should have them over for dinner.” She announced, standing up, grabbing the still full glass from her husband’s hand as she moved into the kitchen.

“We are not having them over for dinner!” His father shouted from the living room.

“We should have them over for a sit down fancy dinner.” She replied, almost deliberately ignoring him.

“We are not - Hey!” He called out as he heard the buttons on the landline beep with each number his mother punched in.

“I’m sorry, I can’t here you over me inviting them over for- Oh hello, (Y/N), dear.” At the sound of your name, Chenle sank farther into the plush couch seats. He just wanted to watch television in peace.

“Shoot me now.” His dad mumbled.

“Careful what you wish for.” His Grandfather replied, not tearing his eyes from the tv and this time he was the one to ignore the evil look which was shot his way.

And so, dinner with the (Y/L/N)’s was in his imminent future, which only made things more uncomfortable at school. Much like when you had taken that month off in school, he found himself focused on the idea of you more than he had previously. He couldn’t get you out of his head, you and your poor mom. He thought he would apologize for the music thing, you would begrudgingly accept his apology, and you could live the rest of the senior year blissfully ignoring each other’s existents. While you had apparently stayed true to the plan, he couldn’t help the way his eyes drifted to find you in class. He had spent 10 years in the same class as you but he had never noticed how you automatically pulled your bottom lip into your mouth when you were focused on something or the way you smiled to stop yourself laughing when Ryujin mumbled some sort of snarky comment. In the same bout of insanity he had experienced at the beginning of the year, he may have mistaken your smile as being pretty. Except this time the insanity did not melt away into resentment, but instead grew into a roaring monster of butterflies anytime he saw you.

He was starting to think he was sick or something. It was like his whole life had been flipped upside down; in what universe was he the one with the clammy hands and racing heart around (Y/N) (/L/N), and she was the one ignoring him? He needed to talk to someone - and who better than the lord of advice himself, Park Jisung.

Luckily for him, him and Jisung were the first people in their home room class the day of the dinner; usually you were in early, but today you conveniently hadn’t been. “Dude, I need your help.” Chenle emphatically exclaimed, sitting down in his seat next to Jisung before explaining the situation.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N)? You hate her. You’ve hated her for 10 years.” Jisung blankly stated, and Chenle shook his head. 

“That’s the thing, I don’t think I do. I can’t stop thinking about her.” Jisung rolled his eyes.

“You definitely hate her. Think about it, you just feel bad because of the mom thing. And you insulted her house, but I mean come on, it was a mess anyways.”

“It’s not her fault. Their family is in crazy amounts of debt because her mom had some sort of untreatable illness and she was sick for so long. Do you know apparently, she had been sick for like 13 years? It must have been torture on their family.” Chenle defended, the stubborn side of him which was declaring, it’s been a decade, why stop hating you now, losing out to this new need to defend you.

“Oh, God, really? Well then, there’s your answer.” Jisung replied, leaning back in his chair with confidence, as though he had just solved the world’s problems. Chenle’s eyebrows knotted together, cocking his head.

“What do you mean?” 

Jisung scoffed, as if it was the most obvious thing since the last advice he had kindly bestowed on Chenle.

“You don’t want to be with someone with that in their family. Dude what if she infects you with it?”

Chenle wanted to hit him. He was certain, he had never before in his life been closer to punching someone and God did Jisung deserve it. How dare he say that? He wanted to tell him that it was much more complex than Jisung’s derogatory simplification of your mother’s illness, and just because Jisung was failing biology did not mean he had the right to be going around and saying things like that about you. He wanted to tell Jisung to keep his stupid opinion to himself, but despite this intense fury he felt searing up his chest, all he could manage was a stiff laugh.

“Oh. Yeah.” He mumbled, not looking at him in case the smug smile which had graced Jisung’s face flipped the switch which would erupt the burning anger in his chest.

You had been running late that day. You liked getting up earlier and beating the traffic to school, now more than ever, with the sullen mood your house had fallen into, although with the dinner with the Zhong family in your near future, the three boys of your house appeared cheerier. Your father was good friends with Mrs. Zhong and she had always been a good neighbor, and your two brothers were old friends with Chenle’s older sister. You were only one against the idea, but realistically, what harm could one dinner do? You had woken up and been ready on time, but when you climbed into your sturdy little jeep and turned the ignition keys, the engine made an unfortunate spluttering sound, that rather sounded like it was simply giving up.

You had taken a stab at fixing it, popping the hood and pretending as though you had a single clue about what to look for, but upon realizing there was no hope you started glancing worriedly back at your house. Surely one of the three people who all knew all to drive would know something about what was wrong with the engine. Biggest problem was, they were all asleep, and if you woke them up, you might have lost a hand. You were heavily considering risking the hand when, by some sort of divine intervention, a familiar voice called out to you.

“Need help?”

You started, spinning to see Mr. Zhong, the familiar and kind old face smiling at you. You hated how similar his smile was to Chenle’s; he was simply a reminder of who you thought Chenle used to be. Nonetheless, you smiled and nodded, gesturing to the hood and taking a step back.

“Please. It’s all yours.”

He worked in silence for a moment, pulling at the machinery inside the bonnet.

“How old is this car?” He asked, and his muffled voice could not disguise the astonishment in his voice.

“Uh, I think the last person to drive it was my Mom, so, that should tell you.” You half joked, awkwardly watching him work until he indicated to you to try again.

You climbed into the car and turned the ignition, and it spluttered again, but this time the spluttering graduated into the unhealthy purring sound you were used to.

You rolled your window down, and called a gracious, ‘thank you!’ out the window, but before you could proceed the short drive to school, the man stopped you, leaning against the side of your car.

“Wait a minute, I want to talk to you about something.” You uncomfortably clutched the steering wheel tighter, raising an eyebrow at him, as if to say, ‘go on.’

“You and Chenle? How’s that going?” He asked, an eyebrow raised in a similar fashion, although his was more teasing where yours was questioning. Your heart leapt as your face warmed.

“Oh - uh. I haven’t really spoken to him since.”

“Oh.” He sounded surprised.

“Why?” You asked, trying to discreetly gulp away your nervousness.

“Oh, he’s just been speaking about you a lot more, is all. Have fun at school.” 

Your five-minute drive to school was the most anxiety ridden drive you had ever experienced. What did he mean speaking about you more? He was asking about your relationship so would that suggest Chenle was saying nice things? Did Chenle maybe like you? Of course, the idea of Chenle having any sort of romantic feelings towards you felt nearly laughable at this point, but this glimmer of hope that had remained from the past ten years that maybe, just maybe, you had finally grabbed the attention of those sweet brown eyes simmered in your chest before you could push it away. He had treated you badly, you reminded yourself. You didn’t need him.

You stormed into school that morning, affirming that you did not need Zhong Chenle in your life, and if he did finally notice you, that was not your problem. But the little girl in you who had walked up to the door of your classroom to overhear Chenle say your name insisted on eavesdropping. And who were you to say no to her?

“... That’s the thing, I don’t think I do. I can’t stop thinking about her.” You couldn’t stop instinctual fluttering of your heart. Chenle couldn’t stop thinking about you. Chenle couldn’t stop thinking about you. Your previous conclusion that he was not more than the sum of his parts was thrown out of the window and replaced with schoolgirl butterflies.

“You definitely hate her. Think about it, you just feel bad because of the mom thing. And you insulted her house, but I mean come on, it was a mess anyways.” You rolled your eyes. Park Jisung was a self-righteous dick.

“It’s not her fault. Their family is in crazy amounts of debt because her mom had some sort of untreatable illness and she was sick for so long. Do you know apparently she had been sick for like 13 years? It must have been torture on their family.” You had never heard him defend you before, and you couldn’t help the small smile which grew on your face.

“Oh, God, really? Well then, there’s your answer.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t want to be with someone with that in their family. Dude what if she infects you with it?” Your previously elated heart dropped to your stomach as your face fell. Chenle wasn’t going to let him away with that, was he?

“Oh. Yeah.” He was. Zhong Chenle had the perfect knack of getting your hopes up, and just when your heart had warmed to him again, crushing it, and you were sick of it. You spun on your heel, making your way back out to your car without even thinking about it. You didn’t want to have to look at him.

You thought about the situation as you got ready for dinner that night.  You were sick of this stupid game of cat and mouse, where you inevitably always ended up hurt. And thinking back on the past ten years, Chenle had never been a good friend to you. Ever. He gave away your sheet music, he insulted you and now he was talking about you with his friends as if you were some sort of plague just waiting to infect him. You were sick of it and you were sick of him. Zhong Chenle meant nothing to you anymore.

You had half an idea to march out into the hallway where your father was calling you and tell him that you did not want to go, and he couldn’t make you. You drew together pieces of this declaration in your head before firmly making your way into the hall, entirely ready to tell him where the Zhong family could go, but then you saw his face. He had shaved for the first time in a month, the clothes he wore was ironed and smart, and you could have sworn he smelled better than he had in a while. Your previously parted lips closed again and instead of communicating your desire to be anywhere but the Zhong house, the corners turned slightly, mustering up the most sincere smile you could. You could suck up having to sit opposite Chenle for your family - They had gone through so much recently, you thought maybe you could deal with him for another night. 

Your plans to snub him was momentarily interrupted when you realized, as he stomped down the stairs into the entry way of the house, where your family awkwardly hovered, exchanging greetings with the Zhong family, he had worn your favorite jean jacket, white t-shirt and black jeans combo that used to make you melt at the knees. Like always, it made his dark hair seem darker, but you pushed back the bubbling butterflies. What he had done was unforgiveable.

“Why don’t I show you guys my room?” His sister had emphatically exclaimed to your brothers who glanced to your dad. He gave a disinterested shrug, and the three stomped up past where Chenle came from. “Chenle, sweetie, why don’t you bring (Y/N) up to your room? The adults can talk down here.” His mom suggested.

“No, Mrs. Zhong, it’s okay-” You began, but you didn’t get to finish.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, I know you won’t want to be stuck with the adults. Just no funny business!” You ignored the sly comment which Chenle’s dad mumbled under his breath about, ‘that being unlikely,’ and hesitantly made your way up the stairs, following in Chenle’s footsteps. His house was the exact same as yours - sure his stairs didn’t creak from years of you and your brothers abuse , and it was much sleeker - the black and white modern décor juxtaposed greatly with the warm, yellow tones of your own house, plus the fact they obvious could afford to have their carpet replaced with hardwood floors, but other than that, there was nothing spectacularly upper class about their house that would suggest they had any right to look down on yours. 

His room matched his personality to a tee. With grey-white walls plastered with posters of his favorite musicians and athletes whom you didn’t recognize, the room was small but clean and smelt like him. That familiar citrusy scent you associated with him filled the air, and past you would have been intoxicated by him, but current you knew better.

He sat down on top of the checked black and white duvet cover, (little did you know, he was secretly celebrating the fact he had happened to change the Stephen Curry bed sheets the day before) and gestured for you to sit down beside him. You remained standing.

“Uh- Hi.” He greeted, a softness to his voice you didn’t recognize but nearly succeeded in melting the barricade you had placed around your heart. Nearly. You didn’t respond, staring down at your shoes as if, suddenly your vans were the most interesting thing in the world.

“You look really pretty.” There he was again, trying to get your hopes up only to smash them again. You wouldn’t let him. Not this time.

“I know what you and Jisung were saying about my mom. And I’m done with you, okay? You can stop this act now.” You blurted out before you could even stop yourself.

Chenle’s face fell, and his head jerked to the side, almost as if you had genuinely slapped him in the face. He looked like a wounded puppy. Why was it so hard to stay angry at him?

“I- Look, (Y/N), it was wrong what Jisung said, I know. I wanted to hit him.” You raised an eyebrow, which sharpened your features and nearly made Chenle melt, both from the radiating heat of your anger and the sheer attractiveness of the action.

“You didn’t say anything to him. You just agreed and laughed. Like a coward.” You replied, simply.

“Yeah - I know. It was wrong of me. I’m sorry, but look, I’ve had a recent... self-discovery and I like you, (Y/N). If you could just give me a second chance.” He pleaded, standing up to look at you sincerely. His honest, chestnut eyes did not hold the same rotten core you had seen in them a month ago in the charity shop, but you held your ground nonetheless. “Third chance, you mean. Realistically, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you. We’ve lived next to each other for 10 years and we’ve had, what, two civil conversations?” Chenle was the one to look down at his feet now, focusing on the hardwood floors. You weren’t wrong - you didn’t really know each other. You relished in the silence as Chenle thought for a moment, before he mumbled,

“That doesn’t change how I feel about you, though.” 

“Well it should.” 

He opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by his mother’s screaming for them to come to dinner. You had turned and left before he even had the opportunity to draw breath and he was left alone in his empty room, which grey walls that had previously been illuminated with the presence of you had dulled in the absence of your vivacity. 

Dinner was a success for the most part, except for the torture of sitting across from you. He bore holes into the side of your head, but you were so skilled in acting as if he wasn’t there, he was starting to question his actual presence at the dinner table; if it were just you and him sitting there, he would have been convinced he was some sort of ghostly apparition.

“So, you paint, right?” His grandfather had directed toward your dad who nodded politely.

“Yeah, I always loved art and - well I couldn’t afford to go to college so I thought why not kill two birds with one stone and do something I love that I don’t need a college education for.” He replied, the bright look on his face when talking about something he loved was so similar to how you used to look at him that Chenle almost felt sick with guilt.

“And you make much money off of that?” His dad had commented, his knife and fork obnoxiously clinking against the plate. Chenle almost sunk down in his chair.

“I make enough.” Your dad replied, stiffly. He spoke how you spoke to him a mere 15 minutes ago.

“Didn’t you used to like art?” His grandfather had asked, turning to his Dad who shrugged, sipping from his expensive wine glass.

“I painted a little.” Chenle had never seen his dad so uncomfortable.

“No, I remember, you wanted to go to art school, right? But my daughter here talked you out of it.” His dad squirmed in his seat as his mother awkwardly laughed, avoiding the topic entirely and asking your dad another question about his job.

The more your dad discussed his ventures into the world of art, the quieter his dad got. He tried to plaster on a smile every now and then, but underneath, Chenle could tell he was sad. He thought about how his dad had always looked down on your family, and the countless times he had referred to your dad as being ridiculous, a low-life who needed to get a ‘proper job.’ He watched the man who had dwindled his life away and wondered, if he was simply angry at himself, as opposed to the kind family across the street. His father was a coward who didn’t chase what he wanted because he was too scared. Chenle swore to himself there and then, that he would not be a coward, like his father. He refused to become the bitter, jealous old man across the street. And so, late that night, after you had all left, he rifled through the papers on his desk and hatched a plan.

Patience and timing were key elements to Chenle’s plan - A month, to be precise. The day of the Christmas talent show. Everyone was excited to watch Chenle perform, especially now that it had been spread that he was dedicating his performance to someone in the audience. Pretty much everyone in the school who was attracted to boys were praying it was them. All except for you, who still hadn’t spoken to him since that fateful night in his bedroom and had resumed your strategic avoidance of him.

He nervously peaked from the side of the stage of the school theatre which had been transformed from it’s boring wood and red velvet into an explosion of tinsel and fairy lights, the excessive Christmas décor almost hurt his eyes. He stared into the audience past Chaeryong’s skillful dancing on stage, despite her optimistic glances towards him, as he clutched sheet music in his hands. He had enlisted Ryujin’s help to ensure that you were sitting in the very middle of the front row, despite her unwillingness. He had to promise her that if he broke your heart again, she had a free pass at kicking him in a very private place. His attention was only broken from the way you hid a laugh as Ryujin whispered into your ear, by Jisung frantically running up to him, whispering as to not to disturb Chaeryong’s performance.

“Dude! There’s a rumor going around that this mystery chick you’re playing for is (Y/N)?” Chenle simply blinked at him.

“And?”

“Is it true?” 

“Yep.” Jisung threw his arms in the air incredulously, whispering as loud as their setting allowed him,

“What the hell is the matter with you! You have every single girl on campus wanting you and you want (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Chenle spun to stare out into the audience again, turning his back to Jisung. “Leave me alone, Jisung. You wouldn’t understand.” He whispered back, watching and clapping as Chaeryong took her bow, exiting at the other side of the stage.

“You’re right! I completely don’t understand! Have you flipped or something?” Chenle ignored him, breathing out slowly, trying to calm his nerves. 

“This is it.” He mumbled, more to himself than Jisung, ignoring his friend who made a last minute attempt to grab him before he walked on stage.

The entire audience sat with bated breath, you included as he sat down at the piano, almost excruciatingly slowly. You stared at your hands, trying not to look up at the stage because you knew that he was probably about to sing some love song to Chaeryong, since his feelings for you had obviously dissipated since that night, and then they would kiss on stage and everyone would be happy for them. You included. Probably. If you were feeling in a particularly positive mood.

“Um, so I’m sure you all know, that I’m dedicating this performance to someone. Which I am, but I’m not going to say who. Yet. They’ll know who they are.” His smooth voice echoed throughout the entire auditorium, officially piquing your interest as you lifted your head up to look at him. He had already moved to face the piano, his fingers - which were unusually shaking - hovered over the keys as he examined the sheet music in front of him, pressing down the first chord.

Your stomach dropped, the familiarity of the scalic motif he played with his right hand causing you to audibly gasp. You hadn’t heard this piece since you were four. You raised a shaking hand to your mouth, ignoring the way Ryujin was almost definitely staring at you with concern. He had kept the sheet music. You had thought all the time, it was in the back of some shop, never to be played again. But here he was, playing your mother’s music in front of the entire school with pride, his skilful fingers dancing from note to note as if it were as simple as breathing, the music enveloping you in a blanket of comfort.

His playing ended too quickly, finishing with a short section you didn’t recognize and ending on a perfect and harmonious cadence. The audience tentatively applauded, the majority - as in everyone but you and Ryujin - more confused than anything, until he walked to the end of the stage, directly in front of you.

“My favorite color is red.” He stated, looking down at you in your chair.

“Wha - What?”

 “I am the worst loser ever. Seriously, if you play a game with me and you win, I will find ways to blame you for making me lose.”

“Chenle, wha-” “You said you didn’t know me, right? I’m terrified of spiders. I love basketball more than football but I’m better at football. You couldn’t pay me to take science the second it isn’t mandatory anymore. I talk in my sleep. I’m crazy ticklish. I would literally die for Stephen Curry. I’ve been an idiotic dick, for lack of a better word, for the last ten years, and if you let me, I would love the chance to get to know you.”

You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face as you stared into those eyes - those once again dazzling eyes which bore into you, no evidence of corruption, the oh-so-familiar sensation of your heart warming to his words blooming in you once again, as if it had never left.

Your smile resonated within him and he questioned what the hell had he been doing the last ten years. How could anyone, ever want to run away from you?

“If you break my heart, Zhong Chenle, you have Ryujin to answer too.”

He chuckled, the sound of his laugh more musical than anything he could’ve produced on stage, and as you watched him, you came to the conclusion that Chenle was more than the sum of his parts, astronomically. You knew that Zhong Chenle was still walking around with your first kiss. But he wouldn’t be for long.

[jedijesi]

Biblichor: Chapter 8

Javier Peña x f!librarian!reader

Chapter 1🤍Chapter 2🤍Chapter 3🤍Chapter 4🤍 Chapter 5🤍Chapter 6🤍 Chapter 7🤍

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, SMUT(piv), she/her pronouns

Chapter Summary: You and Javi have sex for the first time. Steve and Connie start their own mission to catch Javi and his mystery girl.

Word Count: 6,600+

A/N: The moment you’ve all been waiting for... Smut😏 🤍Please enjoy my loves and let me know what kind of dates you and Javi should go on!🤍Love u all! Happy Mother’s Day!🤍

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Connie! You're right!" Steve bursts into his apartment, the keys clattering dramatically into the tray by the door.

Connie raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corner of her lips. "Can you say that again for me? I just want to bask in the moment."

Steve rolls his eyes before continuing. "I'm also almost 100% convinced that Javi has a girlfriend!"

Connie's smirk widens into a grin as she leans back in her chair, clearly pleased with herself. "Well, well, well, looks like my intuition strikes again," she remarks smugly. "So, spill the details. What makes you so sure?"

"I apologized to Javier as you told me, and he was acting weird the whole time. I mean, he wouldn't look at me, he was stuttering, and then Chris walks in and says 'Nice Hickies, Javier!'," Steve says, attempting to imitate Chris's tone with exaggerated flair, causing Connie's jaw to drop in surprise. "I mean, he has to be dating someone, right?!" Steve continues, his arms flailing around in bewilderment.

Connie furrows her brow, considering Steve's words carefully. "But what if they're from one of his hookups?" 

"Nah, he never really gets any hickies from his hookups, and when I asked Chris, he said they were everywhere!" Steve adds, confirming his suspicions.

Connie's brow furrows in thought. "Hmm, maybe my theory is right. But I haven't seen anyone go in and out of his apartment," she muses, considering the logistics of Javier's rendezvous.

"He must be going over to their place then. It explains why he's never around."

"So, where is he going?" Connie wonders aloud.

The two pause, exchanging a knowing glance. Slowly, evil grins make their way onto their faces as they nod in silent agreement.

"Connie, will you do me the honor of going on a stakeout with me?" Steve asks, taking her hands in his.

"I thought you'd never ask!" Connie replies with a grin, her eyes sparkling with excitement. Steve leans in to kiss her passionately, the two of them laughing into each other's lips.

"This is why I married you," Steve whispers affectionately, lifting Connie in his arms and carrying her toward their bedroom. 

.             .              .             .             .

The bruises had faded considerably overnight, but despite the layers of concealer carefully applied to mask them, they still lingered. Thankfully, it was Friday— a nice relaxing day tutoring the girls and seeing Javier.

At 9 o'clock on the dot, the gentle chime of the library's entrance bell echoed through the quiet space, drawing your attention. With a quickening heartbeat, you caught sight of your stunning boyfriend entering the room library.

Steve's voice broke through the moment, offering a greeting that went unnoticed as your gaze remained fixated on Javier. It was a dangerous game, allowing yourself to be so captivated, but the allure of Javier's presence was undeniable. Caught between the thrill of Javier and the fear of being caught, you struggled to tear your eyes away, knowing that every stolen glance only put you two at risk.

Throughout the day Javier found himself struggling to tear his gaze away from you as you worked. You looked stunning today in your dress and every fiber of his being longed to be by your side. However, Steve's relentless presence and probing questions had made it nearly impossible for him to steal even a fleeting glance in your direction.

Steve had been relentless in his inquiries, subtly probing for information about Javier's whereabouts. It was almost comical how transparent Steve's tactics were; after all, they had interrogated countless suspects together, and Javier recognized every move Steve made. Yet, despite the temptation to abandon all pretense and rush to your side, Javier remained in the dark room, flipping through newspapers.

He knew that giving in to temptation could jeopardize everything the two of you had built together. So, with a heavy heart, Javier forced himself to maintain his distance, unwilling to let his feelings overshadow your delicate relationship.

Now, Steve was in full Agent Mode, his senses heightened as he observed Javier with laser-like focus. Every subtle movement, every fleeting glance, was analyzed with precision as Steve searched for any sign of attraction. 

Glancing discreetly at Javier's neck, Steve's suspicions were piqued by the faint discoloration he spotted. From his angel and the dim lighting, it was difficult to make out the details, but there were distinct spots on Javier's skin where the tint seemed darker than the rest. They could very well be the hickies Chris mentioned.

.             .              .             .             .

About two hours into the research and a few successful finds, Javier catches sight of you passing by the corridor with your trolley of books. A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips as thoughts of you flood his mind. He could use a break.

"Hey, I'm going to go for a walk. These chairs are killing me. I can't sit down in these for long," Javier announces to his partner.

"Good idea," Steve responds, promptly standing up from his chair.

Javier's smile fades slightly. "What are you doing?" he asks, his tone guarded.

"Going with you. Is that alright?" Steve replies casually, but Javier can't shake the feeling that Steve's growing curiosity is becoming a little too intrusive for his liking.

"What about the evidence? We don't want anyone to take it. Shouldn't one of us stay to watch it?" Javier questions, his concern evident in his voice as he gestures towards the papers.

Steve picks up the papers and casually tucks them under his arm. "There. Perfectly fine," he responds nonchalantly, dismissing Javier's concerns with a wave of his hand.

As the words hang in the air, an unspoken tension settles between the two men. They stand facing each other, the weight of their silent exchange palpable in the air. Brows furrowed and eyes locked in a steely gaze, they resemble two adversaries in a Mexican Standoff, each waiting for the other to make the first move.

"Lead the way," Steve says, breaking the silence with a smug grin on his face.

Javier nods tersely, feeling the weight of Steve's presence like a shadow looming over him as he walks out of the room.

Meanwhile, you catch sight of Javier through the bookshelves, but before you can announce your presence, you notice his partner trailing closely behind. Intrigued by the palpable tension between the two, you watch them as they navigate through the shelves. Their body language is awkward and cold. Sensing the charged atmosphere, you decide to hold back and observe, opting to wait and see how the situation unfolds.

Out of the corner of Javier's eye, he catches a glimpse of you through the bookshelves. His heart leaps at the sight of you, but his excitement is tempered by the presence of Steve trailing closely behind him. Determined to find a way to speak with you alone, Javier's mind races as he searches for a solution.

Suddenly, a lightbulb ignites in Javier's mind, and a risky plan begins to take shape. It's a gamble, but he knows it's worth the risk if it means he can talk to you without Steve's prying eyes.

You watch in confusion as Javier abruptly changes direction and starts walking directly towards you. His eyes plead with you, silently conveying a message that you struggle to decipher amidst the chaos of the moment. Uncertain of his intentions but unable to resist the pull of his gaze, you wait anxiously.

"Excuse me, Ma'am," Javier addresses you.

"Yes? Can I help you with something?"

"Ya! My friend here is looking for a good romance novel to read!" Javier interjects, placing a hand on Steve's shoulder. Steve's eyes widen in surprise and confusion, clearly caught off guard by Javier's sudden maneuver.

As the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, you realize Javier's clever ruse and know exactly how to play along. "Oh, how wonderful! Come this way!" you exclaim, taking Steve's arm and leading him away before he can protest.

As Javier makes a break for it, darting in and out of the shelves while Steve is distracted, you play along with his charade, eager to help create a diversion. 

"Oh no! It's okay, Miss! My friend was just messing with me. You really don't have to—" Steve begins to protest, but you cut him off with a reassuring smile.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of! This is the romance section. I'm sure you'll find something great!" you assure him, giving his arm a friendly pat before quickly scurrying off.

Steve turns to look for Javier, but his search is interrupted by the presence of two elderly ladies. Offering them a polite grin and a nod, he hurries off in search of his elusive partner

Once out of Steve's sight, you sprinted through the corridors and weaved through the bookshelves until a hand suddenly grabbed your arm, pulling you into a secluded nook. Before you could react, soft lips were pressed tenderly against yours.

"Hola, Princesa," Javier murmured as he pulled back slightly.

"Hi, Javi," you greeted him, a smile spreading across your face at the sight of him.

"Nice work back there. We make quite the team," Javier remarked with a wink and a smirk.

"We do, don't we," you echo, your voice soft with affection as you lean back in to kiss Javier once more.

This time, the kiss deepens, igniting a fiery passion between you. Your arms wrap around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair as you draw him closer. His strong arms encircle your waist, pulling you tightly against him, erasing any remaining space between you.

With a tilt of his head, Javier opens his mouth, inviting you in, and you willingly surrender to the intoxicating sensation of being lost in each other. At that moment, the outside world fades away, leaving only the two of you enveloped in a bubble of pure bliss.

After what feels like an eternity, you reluctantly pull away, resting your head against Javier's, the warmth of his embrace comforting and reassuring. In each other's arms, you find solace from the chaos of the world. There was no psycho partner, no boss, no one except for you two.

"I'll never get tired of that," you whisper.

Javier's eyes soften as he gazes at you, a warm smile gracing his lips. "Can I come over tonight?" he murmurs.

A twinge of fear grips your heart as you contemplate Javier's question. Memories of past heartbreak flood your mind, causing you to hesitate. You've been together for over a month now, but the fear of not being enough still lingers within you, haunting your every thought.

But then, you remember Mari's wise words: "Don't let your past keep you from happiness." You push aside your fears and doubts.

Taking a deep breath, you meet Javier's gaze with determination. "Ya, you can come over tonight," you say, your voice steady despite the lingering apprehension.

As the two of you share several lingering kisses, the sound of approaching footsteps jolts you back to reality. Suddenly, Javier breaks the kiss and grabs your hand, leading you in a swift escape.

You would be giggling at the absurdity of it all if it weren't for the underlying dread of getting caught. Hiding in a secluded spot, you and Javier peer through the cracks of the bookshelf, watching as a frantic Steve passes by, mumbling curses under his breath.

The tension in the air is palpable as you exchange a somber glance with Javier. "You should really go," you whisper sadly, the weight of the situation sinking in.

Javier's expression mirrors your own as he nods in understanding. "Yeah, I guess so," he murmurs reluctantly. "But I'll pick you up after work, okay?"

As Javier begins to walk away, you summon all your courage. Quickly you step forward, grabbing his arm to turn back around and give him one last big, meaningful kiss, pouring all your feelings into the moment.

As Javier pulls away, you lock eyes with him, a silent exchange of emotions passing between you. Unable to resist, you confess softly, "I can't wait."

Javier's gaze softens at your words, a gentle smile playing on his lips. He turns to leave, but you can't help but watch him go, the pull of his presence irresistible. Caught in the act, you meet his gaze once more, a mischievous twinkle in your eyes.

"I like your butt," you mouth playfully. With a hearty chuckle and a shake of his head, he turns away, disappearing from view.

As Javier comes into view, Steve lets out an annoyed sigh. "What the fuck, Jav! Where have you been? Where did you even go?" He groans as he whisper-yells at him.

"I went to the bathroom. Find any good books?" Javier responds casually, unfazed by Steve's accusatory tone.

He rolls his eyes at Javier's nonchalant reply. "Let's just go, I'm starving," he grumbles impatiently, eager to leave the library behind.

"Okay, I could use something to eat," Javier agrees, falling into step beside Steve as they make their way out of the library.

.             .              .             .             .

Steve hops into the driver's seat, the tension between him and Javier still palpable as they both choose to ignore the elephant in the room. With a heavy silence enveloping them, Steve starts the car, the engine's rumble adding to the awkward atmosphere.

As they drive, Javier's thoughts drift to you, his mind filled with a mixture of anticipation and nervousness. He hasn’t had sex in over a month which is a record for him. He also hasn’t been truly intimate with anyone in several years. He’d wait however long you need despite his abnormally high libido.

Eventually, Steve stops the car in front of their destination, and Javier looks up at the sign and grimaces.

"I've never been to this diner before. Thought we'd change it up, you know. Have you tried this place?" Steve continues, attempting to make conversation. However, Javier's not as enthusiastic about having a conversation right now.

"Yeah... I've been here once or twice," Javier responds, mustering whatever willpower he has left as he exits the car.

Steve follows suit, stepping out of the vehicle and taking in a deep breath. "That smells amazing!" he exclaims.

Javier adjusts his aviators, pushing them up further on his nose in an attempt to conceal the embarrassment creeping over him. Despite his efforts, he knows that navigating this unfamiliar diner with Steve will likely only add to the day's already mounting frustrations.

"Welcome! Would you like a booth or counter?" Mari greets them with a mischievous grin, her eyes flicking between Javier and Steve.

Javier shakes his head discreetly, signaling his preference for a booth. "Booth, please," he confirms, his voice tinged with a hint of nervousness.

"Sure thing, Hon. ¿Son solo ustedes dos?” (Is it just the two of you?) Mari inquires, her gaze lingering on Javier.

"Yup! Just us, nobody else!" Javier interjects hastily, eager to divert any further suspicion. Mari, perceptive as ever, catches on to the awkwardness between them, but she maintains her professional demeanor.

"Right, this way then," Mari says, leading them to a booth near the counter, where she can keep a close eye on them. 

"Here are your menus. I'll be back soon to take your orders," Mari says, leaving them with a polite smile before retreating to attend to other customers.

“A-Abuel-lita Rosa’s C-Cocin-Conina.” Steve says as he admires the restaurant.

“Dear, god, can you be any more white? What the hell was that?” Javier cringes at his ability to butcher Spanish. 

Steve chooses to ignore Javier’s judgment and continues. “This place is nice! Why haven’t we ever been here before?” Javier shrugs at him, not in the mood to put on fake enthusiasm. 

The two order their food and engage in conversation, discussing work and sharing anecdotes. As Steve reminisces on old memories of him and Connie, Javier’s thoughts start to drift, imagining you and mentally planning potential date ideas.

However, his daydreaming is abruptly interrupted by the sound of the door’s bell chiming. He sighs inwardly, feeling as though the universe is conspiring against him. 

"Hiya, Chica!" Mari's cheerful voice fills the diner, and Javier can't help but feel a sinking sensation in his stomach. He drops his head, a sense of dread washing over him.

"Javi, that's the librarian!" Steve's urgent whisper jolts Javier from his momentary despair.

"Is it?" He plays dumb.

"Yeah, what are the odds!" Steve echoes, oblivious to Javier's lack of enthusiasm.

Javier nods in agreement, his response devoid of any genuine emotion.

Meanwhile, you take your usual spot at the counter, exchanging pleasantries with Mari as she attends to your glass, filling it with water.

"Have you noticed our sexy new decor recently?" Mari smirked knowingly.

"Ooh! Did you guys redecorate?" you inquire, turning around to inspect the diner. Your gaze lands on Javier and Steve, who quickly avert their eyes, caught in awkward eye contact.

Mari leans over the counter, wearing a forced grin. Through clenched teeth, she whispers, "What the fuck is happening?" 

"I-I don't know! Today's been a weird day, and now... this!" you stammer.

"Our next girls' night is going to be good," Mari remarks as she returns to her tasks behind the counter, her tone tinged with amusement.

Javier's panic intensifies as he realizes the gravity of the situation. Steve is already on edge, and this unexpected encounter threatens to push him over the brink. The atmosphere in the diner becomes increasingly tense, each moment fraught with uncertainty.

"Javi, we should invite her to sit with us," Steve suggested with an air of innocence that belied his true intentions. He wanted to test his hypothesis, but Javier wasn't keen on the idea.

"No! That's weird! We barely know her, and now we're inviting her to lunch? No," Javier objected firmly.

"Come on! It'll be fine!" Steve persisted.

Their debate is interrupted by Mari, who arrives with plates full of hot food. "Here you boys go," she says cheerfully.

“Thanks, Mari.”

"You two know each other?" Steve asks suspiciously, his gaze shifting between Mari and Javier, who exchange nervous glances.

"Well, it's because of her name tag, and I've been here before, you know. She's always my waitress so..." Javier trails off, attempting to downplay their connection.

"Are you single?" Steve interjects abruptly, catching both Mari and Javier off guard.

Mari lets out a hearty laugh. "HA! Wouldn't you like to know, White Boy."

"Oh! No! I'm-" Steve starts to respond, but Mari cuts him off with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"Look, I get it. It happens all the time, but I don't date Gringos," Mari states matter-of-factly.

"No! That's not-" Steve tries to protest, but Mari interrupts him with a reassuring gesture.

"It's okay, Hon. Not many men have a chance with me anyway," Mari says with a chuckle, offering him a comforting pat on the shoulder before walking over to you.

As Mari leaves, Javier can't contain his amusement, struggling to stifle his laughter.

As you and Mari exchange whispers, giggles, and knowing glances, Javier and Steve engage in their hushed conversation, each trying to glean insights from the other.

Steve persists in his questioning, determined to extract some valuable information from Javier. He senses a connection between you and Javier, and he's not about to let it go unnoticed.

"I'm going to use the restroom. I'll be back in a minute," Steve announces, heading towards the back of the diner. Unbenoced to him, Yours, Mari, Javier’s eyes were glued to him.

"You know what? Those floors outside the restrooms look disgustingly dirty. I better get to cleaning them," Mari chimes in, quickly following Steve.

You exchange amused glances with Javier as he approaches you. His smile matches yours as he closes the distance between you.

Javier leans against the counter, casting a glance in the direction Mari and Steve disappeared. "Interesting friends we've got, huh?" he remarks, turning his attention back to you.

"Indeed," you agree, feeling a surge of warmth as Javier cups your cheek and pulls you into a kiss. "Sit with me. I wanna be with you."

Javier hesitates, “Steve’s gonna catch us.”

"Not with Mari standing guard. She’s probably dumping a whole bucket of water in front of that door. We have plenty of time," You reassure him. 

Javier chuckles, pulling you closer as he settles into the chair beside you. His arm wraps around your waist, and you lean into him, resting your head on his shoulder as you gaze up at him.

"Only a few more hours until I'm off of work. Then it's you and me for the rest of the weekend," Javier murmurs.

"Hmmm, that sounds like heaven," you hum with a contented smile.

"Trust me, it will be," he assures, planting a tender kiss on the top of your head before resting his head atop yours. Moments pass in comfortable silence until you hear Mari and Steve bickering around the corner.

"Sorry, sir, I just mopped. You're going to have to wait in the bathroom for another 10 minutes or so until it's dry," Mari says with a mischievous grin.

"Can't I just jump?" Steve questions, clearly impatient.

"Nope! Against the rules," She retorts, enjoying every moment of her little game.

"What about a towel?" He tries to negotiate.

"You gotta stay in there. I'll be watching you for the next 10 minutes, so don't even think about moving!" 

You and Javier share a giggle at the playful banter between Mari and Steve. "I guess we have 10 minutes then," you remark, settling into the conversation about weekend plans as Javier playfully steals some food from your plate.

As time passes, you see Mari's head peek around the corner, signaling to Javier that it's time to return to his table. He gives you one last kiss and a wink before obediently hopping back into the booth.

"What took you so long? I feel like I've been waiting forever," Javier complains upon Steve’s return.

"Oh, don't get me started.” He huffs.

.      .        .        .        .          .          .

As the clock struck 4:00, Javier rose from his desk, grabbing his leather jacket and keys. 

"Where are you off to, Jav? It's only 4," Steve inquired, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"I like to leave early on Fridays," He replied casually.

"Good idea!" Steve nodded in agreement, starting to pack up his belongings as the workday drew to a close.

Javier stifled a sigh as Steve rose from his desk, feeling the weight of the impending conversation pressing down on him. He glanced at the door, briefly considering making a break for it, but dismissed the idea knowing Steve's long strides would easily catch up to him. 

As they walked down the hall, the thundering of footsteps grew louder behind them, causing both men to instinctively turn around. 

"Steve! I need your help with some stuff before you leave," Chris's voice boomed, interrupting their progress as he thrust a stack of paperwork into Steve's hands. 

"Thank god," Javier muttered under his breath, seizing the opportunity to slip away while Steve was preoccupied with Chris. With a quick step, he hurried down the hall and out of the building, relief flooding through him as he escaped the imminent interrogation.

After what felt like an eternity of assisting Chris, Steve finally had a moment to himself. Hastily, he dialed his home phone, hoping Connie would be there to provide the support he needed.

"Connie! Thank god you're home. It's go time," Steve exclaimed into the receiver.

.             .              .             .             .

"Fantastic job, ladies! Do you girls want to try another book?" you ask, beaming with pride as Mariana and Carmen nod eagerly, their faces lighting up with excitement. Handing them a book about fluffy puppies, you watch with delight as they eagerly flip through the pages, reading the story aloud.

"I'm so proud of you girls!" you cheered.

"Since we read the books, can we have our treats now?" Carmen pleads with big, hopeful eyes, her anticipation palpable.

"Sure thing. You girls have definitely earned it!" you reply warmly, pulling out two chocolate muffins you had picked up earlier. With gratitude, the girls accept the treats, their expressions lighting up as they take their first bites.

After a moment, Mariana shoots you a curious look before shuffling over to sit next to you. "Whatcha doing there?" she asks, her eyes sparkling with curiosity as she leans in closer.

"What's this?" Mariana asks, her finger delicately tracing the dark outline on your neck. You mentally grimace, realizing you forgot to touch up your concealer.

"It's just a bruise," you try to downplay the situation.

"Did someone hurt you?!" Carmen's concern is evident as she jumps up to inspect the mark.

"No, no, it's nothing like that," you assure them, struggling to come up with an explanation.

"It was an octopus," a voice behind you interjects, causing you to turn around in surprise.

The two little girls turn around and squeal in delight as they run to Javier. With wide smiles, they give his legs a big hug.

"What happened?" Carmen asks Javier, still clinging to his leg, her curiosity piqued.

He hobbles over to the tables with both the girls clinging to his calf, their laughter echoing in the room. Once he reaches you, they let go and return to their seats, their eyes sparkling with excitement as Javier settles in next to you.

"Well, we went to hang out with an octopus this week," Javier begins, his voice filled with playfulness, "and it gave us big hugs on our necks and left these."

Javier pulls the collar of his shirt over, revealing the bruises to the girls. They gasp in amazement, their imaginations running wild with the idea of octopus hugs.

"That's so cool!" Mariana exclaims, her eyes wide with wonder, while you and Javier share a chuckle at their fascination.

"Mind if I borrow your pretty tutor for a moment?" Javier asks, his gaze warm as he looks at you.

"Yeah, it's okay. We have muffins to eat," Mariana says, shoving in a chunk of the baked good.

Javier nods appreciatively and takes your hand in his, the touch sending a comforting warmth through you. With a gentle squeeze, he leads you down a row of books.

"What's up?" you ask, your heart fluttering as Javier's gaze locks onto yours.

"Just... happy to see you," Javier replies softly, closing the gap between your bodies. Your lips hover tantalizingly close, teasing each other with the promise of a kiss, while his arms envelop you in a comforting embrace.

"You've seen me practically all day!" you tease, unable to suppress the smile tugging at your lips.

"I know, but... I can't stop thinking about you. Can't wait to take you home," Javier whispers, his deep and husky.

"Javi, you know I can't leave yet. I still have another 15 minutes of tutoring to go," you remind him gently. 

"I know. I can stay and help you if you want, but... God! I can't be away from you any longer. You're driving me mad!"

You're the one to give in, unable to resist the magnetic pull between you any longer. Leaning up, you capture his bottom lip between yours, igniting a fiery passion that consumes you both. Javier responds eagerly, pressing you up against the bookshelf as he seeks to deepen the kiss even further.

Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging gently at the curls as you explore each other's lips. A quiet groan escapes Javier's lips, and you can't help but smirk, knowing you've found his weakness and reveling in the power it gives you over him.

You're lost in the intoxicating embrace when you hear a giggle, pulling you both back to reality with a start.

You spot the two mischievous little girls with chocolate smudges on their faces peeking around the corner of the bookshelves, their eyes dancing with excitement. Giggles escape from their lips as they witness the sight before them.

As they catch your gaze, their laughter bursts forth, but they quickly stifle it with their hands, exchanging playful glances. With shared grins, they clasp each other's hands tightly and scamper away, their laughter echoing through the library as they disappear among the shelves.

You grimace as Javier's laughter fills the air. "Hey, don't laugh! Those little girls are going to torture me now! O- oh no! They're going to tell their Abuelita! My boss! They're going to tell my boss they caught me making out with my boyfriend." You drop your head onto Javier's chest, seeking comfort amidst your worries.

"Cheer up now, Cariña. It's not as bad as you think," Javier reassures you, his hands gently caressing your back in a soothing gesture.

Taking a deep breath, you nod reluctantly. "Come on, let's go back and talk to the little monsters." As you turn to leave, Javier suddenly grabs your hand, pulling you back into his embrace. He presses a tender kiss to your lips, followed by another to your forehead, before finally letting you go with a warm smile.

As you and Javier round the corner, hand-in-hand, you spot the two little girls sitting up tentatively, their faces alight with mischievous grins. Despite your concerns, their infectious joy immediately brings a smile to your face. They were like innocent little demons. 

"Hello, girls," you greet them warmly, prompting them to burst into uncontrollable giggles. Javier, attempting to maintain a serious demeanor, joins you in chuckling at their antics.

"What's so funny?" he asks, trying to sound stern. The girls exchange mischievous glances before erupting into another round of laughter. Carmen looks like she's about to speak, but Mariana quickly jumps in to prevent her.

"Nothing!" Mariana declares, her laughter ringing through the air as she tries to stifle her giggles.

“Are you sure? Was it even us? How much did you see?”Javier enters his interrogation mode. 

“Nothing!” Mariana quickly says as she struggles to keep her younger sister from ratting them out. 

Carmen deftly wriggles out of her sister’s grasp and crawls under the table, making her way over to you. Emerging from beneath the table, she hops into your lap. Across the table, Mariana shoots her sister a disapproving look, arms folded across her chest in a show of annoyance.

“We saw the whole thing!” Carmen declares triumphantly, her arms wrapping around your neck in a tight hug. Leaning in close, she whispers, "I'm so happy!" before squeezing you tightly.

Your heart swells with warmth as Carmen's words sink in. You share a unique bond with them. Like them, you too had experienced the pain of losing loved ones, left orphaned by the violence of the drug war that ravaged the world.

You first met Mariana and Carmen when they were just toddlers, barely old enough to understand the world around them. Over the years, as they grew, so did your connection with them, evolving into a bond that felt more like family than anything else. Even despite the absence of blood ties.

Although your relationship with their Abuelita, your boss, remained distant and professional, you didn't let it dampen the relationship you had with the girls. While you wished for a deeper connection with their grandmother, you understood that some things were simply beyond your control. Nevertheless, you cherished the big sister/ motherly role you played in their lives.

Javier's heart swelled with affection as he watched the endearing scene unfold before him. Seeing his girlfriend, enveloped in the warmth of Carmen's embrace, made everything feel ordinary, which is something he hadn't felt in a long time. In that moment how far removed from the darkness and emptiness of his past he was and how he didn’t want to go back.

In Javier's eyes, you were the embodiment of perfection. He couldn't fathom your kindness and compassion. In his line of work, where duplicity and deception were around every corner, encountering someone as authentic as you were nonexistent. You were a breath of fresh air.

“Alright, girls, we need to finish our lesson for today.”

“Awwww,” The girls say in unison. 

“Do we have to? Can’t we just hug and talk about your wedding?”

"Wedding?!" You and Javier exclaim simultaneously, the unexpected topic catching you both off guard.

"Yeah!" Carmen confirms with wide-eyed innocence.

"Um... we're not... uh... getting married," you stammer out, bracing yourself for their backlash. Carmen slowly pulls away, her expression shifting to one of disbelief.

“Why not?! Don’t you love each other?!”

"Alright, girls! How about we end class a bit early today!" Javier interjects, swiftly rising from his seat.

“Good idea!” You stand up with Carmen in your arms. She continues to stare you down, not yet finished with the conversation. 

Mariana walks over to your other side and raises her arms, a silent request for you to pick her up. You smile warmly and bend down, allowing her to wrap her arms around you. With both little girls in your arms, you stand up, feeling their weight against you.

“We’ll miss you,” Mariana says sadly, her words tugging at your heartstrings.

“It’s okay, girls. You’ll see me again next week like always,” you reassure them, trying to soothe their disappointment.

“Okay,” they both say with a hint of sadness. They give you one last tight squeeze before you gently set them back down. Javier gathers your belongings and hands them to you.

“See you, girls, next week.”

"Bye! We love you!" They chime in unison, blowing you chocolate kisses.

"I love you too!" You reciprocate, blowing kisses back to them as they giggle with delight.

"Bye, little ladies," Javier says with a warm smile, giving them a small wave.

"Bye-bye!" They wave back enthusiastically as they watch Javier take your hand and lead you out of the room.

.             .              .             .             .

“Where’s your car?”

“Steve’s been following me around like a lost puppy all day, so I parked it a few blocks up in an alley just in case.”

“Wow, you’re not risking it, huh?”

“Never.” 

The two of you continue down the street hand in hand, bodies practically glued together. The golden glow of the sunset shines perfectly on Javier, accentuating his features and making him look even more gorgeous. You couldn’t pry your eyes away from him, drawn to him like a moth to a light.

“How long are you going to look at me?” Javier asks, startling you.

“Forever, I hope,” you respond softly. Now, it was your turn to catch Javier off guard.

As you reach the alleyway where Javier parked his car, he opens the door for you with a gallant gesture. You share a tender kiss before you enter the car, and another before he closes the door behind you.

You watch your handsome boyfriend hop into the driver's seat. His leather jacket accentuates his broad frame, making him look even more rugged and irresistible. Your gaze then drifts over to his large hands on the steering wheel, strong and rough. You can't wait to get home with him.

Meanwhile, as Javier drives, his attention keeps flickering to your thighs that peak out of your dress. But what drives him wild are the marks he left on your neck from the other night. They're like his subtle way of marking you as his own, and the thought sends a thrill through him. The few minutes it takes to drive home feel like an eternity of anticipation and desire for Javier, each second a tantalizing reminder of what awaits them.

.             .              .             .             .

"How long are we going to drive, Steve?" Connie groans with impatience.

"I don't know, Connie. This is stakeout life. Sometimes, you drive forever or sit forever, and nothing happens. Now keep a lookout while I drive," 

Connie lets out a frustrated groan and turns her attention to the passing scenery outside the window. She reaches into her duffle bag of snacks and pulls out a selection, offering Steve his chips and soda while she indulges in her chocolate-covered pretzels. Initially resistant to the idea of bringing along a duffle bag of food, Steve quickly relents when he realizes how much more enjoyable a ‘Murphy Stake-Out’ is.

"Steve! I think that's him!" Connie's voice rises with excitement as she points out the window at Javier.

"What?! Where?!" Steve's attention snaps to the window, his training forgotten in the rush of the moment.

"On the left! Walking down that alley!"

"Left? Which left? Yours or mine?"

"We have the same left, you idiot!"

"I don't see him!" Steve's frustration mounts as he scans the scene, trying to spot their target amidst the bustling city streets.

"Just make the damn left!"

The two continue to bicker until they lose sight of Javier.

"Great. He's gone. What now?" She huffs out.

Steve's frustration matches Connie's as they lose their target. "Keep driving. We have to lock down this perimeter. Was he with anyone?" Her focus shifts to gathering crucial information.

"Yeah, he was with a girl. She was wearing a dress."

"What did she look like?" 

"I couldn't tell, they were too far away, but they were holding hands."

"Damn. He is dating someone!" Steve's frustration mounts, his hand aggressively grabbing a handful of chips.

"Nights young, Steve. Until we crack this case, this is our life." 

"I love you so much… do you wanna pull over really fast?" Steve's sudden change in tone catches Connie off guard.

"...yeah," she says, taking her top off.

.             .              .             .             .

As you unlock the door to the apartment, a rush of conflicting emotions floods your senses. Excitement and fear mingle within you, but you harness the adrenaline, channeling it into confidence.

The moment you open the door, you waste no time. With a swift motion, you turn and press your lips against Javi's, feeling his eager response. Your boldness catches him off guard, but he welcomes it wholeheartedly, reciprocating the kiss with equal fervor.

Your hands push his leather jacket off of his shoulders and start to work on the buttons of his shirt. He lets out a deep groan that goes straight to your core. 

“You’re unbelievable,” Javier mumbles into the kiss as you continue to undo his shirt. 

Once the buttons are undone and his chest is exposed, you can’t help but stop to admire. You’ve seen him shirtless before, but this time it felt different. You start to kiss and suck on his collarbone, obsessed with the soft skin and strong muscles. 

Javier stops you by bending down and picking you up. Your legs wrap around his waist instinctively. You were surprised at how strong he was and couldn’t help but turn you on even more. 

He walks you over to your bed and lays you down on your back. His hands glide tenderly up and down your arms, tracing the contours and admiring the softness of your skin. 

“I- is it okay if I-“ Javier stops when he notices the slight fear in your eyes. “Are you okay? We can stop!”

“No! I’m just- what if I’m not what you expected?” Javier cups your cheek and looks into your eyes. 

“Baby, I don’t care. You’re perfect to me, and nothing is going to change my mind. You’re gorgeous inside and out I promise.” You smile and give him a nod, signaling him to continue. 

Javier presses a kiss to your lips before he carefully peels your dress off of you. Once the dress is discarded across the room, he stands there frozen in shock. 

“Y- you’re perfect- Beyond perfect!” You blush at Javier’s words as he swoops down and presses kisses to your stomach and starts to litter your body in kisses. He showers kisses upon every mark, scar, curve, and contour of your body. To others, they might be imperfections, but to Javier, they are what makes you uniquely perfect. With each tender kiss, he worships your body. Time seems to stand still as he indulges in you before taking the next steps.

He wraps his arm around your back and undoes the clips of your bra with one hand. He leans down to massage and kisses your breasts before moving lower. 

Your whimpers and sighs cause a painful strain against his pants. You notice the bulge while he kisses you, and you move your fingers down to his belt. He gasps when he feels you undoing his belt, the sound of metal clanking together as you try to navigate it. He sits up to help you, quickly ridding off the denim. 

You gasp at the sight before you. He was thick and long, you knew he was going to stretch you out. 

Javier smirks and groans when he looks at your panties. “Look how drenched these are. Is this all for me?”

“Y-yes.” You whimper as he moves his fingers up and down your clothed pussy. 

“I want- I need to taste you, Baby. Will you please let me taste you?” You nod hesitantly, which he immediately notices. “Hey, what are you thinking? I want you to be 100% about everything we do tonight.” 

“I- I’ve never had anyone…” You became shy, unable to finish your sentence.

Javier smirks, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. “What fool wouldn’t eat your pretty pussy out?” Shivers shoot down your spine. “May I be the first?”

“A-are you sure? Isn’t it gross-”

“Fuck no, it's not gross. I wanna taste you while you cum around my fingers.” His hand comes up, caressing your face. “If you don’t want me to, I won’t, but if you say yes, I’ll worship your pussy all night long.” 

“Mmhmm,” you squeak out as your pussy throbs with excitement. 

Javier smirks and removes your underwear, slowly and painfully. His fingers tease the inside of your thighs, causing them to flinch and shake. You groan as he continues to tease you, but all Javier can do is chuckle at your state. 

You let out a shriek when Javier presses his mouth to your heat and inserts a finger in one move. Your legs wrap around his head and dig into his back as your hands fly down to tug on his hair. 

Javier was in Heaven. 

“You like that, don’t ya.” Javier groans into you, obsessed with your taste. You pant and moan at how good he is. This was already a billion times better than anything you'd ever done with your ex before.

“J-Javi!” You whimper, legs shaking around his head.

“What, Baby?” He coos into your pussy, his finger picking up pace. 

“I’m- I’m gonna-“

Javier immediately leaves your body, causing you to groan in annoyance. 

“No! Why?!”

“Shhh, it’s okay. Would you rather cum on my fingers first or my cock. What do you want, pretty girl?” 

Your heart begins racing at the options. “I want your cock, Javi.”

“Good girl.”

Javier leans over you and positions his hard cock at your entrance, the tip leaking with pre-cum. 

“Are you ready, Baby?”

“Yeah, just a little nervous.”

“Why are you so nervous?” He presses a kiss to your forehead to soothe you. 

“You’re just- you’re so big.” Your words fuel the fire in Javier, making him growl and nip at your bottom lip. 

“Don’t worry I’m going to go slow, so you tell me when you’re ready. Okay?”

You nod your head and moan in unison as Javier gradually pushes into you. Javier gives you a moment, letting you adjust around the tip of his cock. After a moment, you wrap your legs around his, pushing him deeper. 

Once he's halfway inside, you become desperate for more. You wrap your legs around his waist, signaling him to move, but Javier doesn’t. He continues to pant into the base of your neck. 

“Are you okay Javi?”

“Y-yeah you’re just so… so fucking tight. It feels like this is my first time. I’m sorry, I just need a minute.” You smile at his suffering and press a kiss to his hair. 

“Take your time, Baby. We’ve got all night.”

After a few minutes, Javier lifts his head from your neck and gives you a slow thrust. The two of you cry at the sensation. Javier becomes addicted to the feeling and starts to speed up. The wet slapping sounds of your skin fill the room, along with loud moans. 

You whisper praises into Javier’s ear, which only makes him more animalistic. You were beyond what he could have ever imagined. Those nights he spent thinking about this moment didn’t do you any justice. He’s never been such a wreck before. Javier was unable to stop mewling and kissing you. 

“You feel… ungh… so good,” Javier groans out. He takes one of your legs and lifts it onto his shoulder. You scream as he hits that special spot inside you. 

“Oh god, Javi! I’m… ahhh! I’m not going to last!”

“M- me too- fuck!” Javier picks up the speed even faster. Tears of pleasure fall down your cheeks. Javier is swift to kiss them away, then nuzzling his face into your neck, kissing and sucking the skin. 

“J-Javi!” You cry.

“Cum for me, Baby.” He growls.

You cum for Javier, screaming out his name. It only takes four more thrusts before Javier cums in you with a loud groan. 

The two of you hold each other, shaking from the post-orgasmic bliss. Javier gives you lazy kisses as you try to regain your breath. 

“I’m obsessed with you, Princess,” Javier hums, looking into your eyes. 

“I- I like you a lot.” You give him a deep kiss. “So much.” 

After a moment, Javier rolls off of you and picks you up, bridal style. “What are you doing?” You giggle at Javier. 

“We need to clean you up.” 

In the small bathroom, you and Javi share a silent, warm shower, letting the gentle cascade of water wash down your bodies. No words are needed as your actions speak volumes. You nestle your head against Javier's chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your cheek. His tender touch as he massages shampoo and conditioner into your hair.

Next, it was your turn to massage shampoo and conditioner into Javier's scalp. The quaint normalcy was a new experience for him. He sighs contentedly, relishing in the tenderness of your touch as you massage his muscles with the sweet-smelling soap. When he can no longer contain his emotions, he stops you and pulls you into a passionate kiss, expressing his love and appreciation for you at that moment. As the shower turns off, Javier tenderly wraps you up in a towel and carries you back to your room.

As he sat you down on the bed, Javier's eyes softened with affection. "Can I brush your hair for you?" he asked gently. You smiled and nodded. 

He quickly retrieved the brush from the bathroom, slipping on the extra boxers he kept in your drawer before returning to your side so that you could teach him how to properly brush your hair. Slowly, he brushed all the tangles out of your hair, stopping now and then to press kisses to your exposed neck. 

Afterward, he helped you into one of his extra t-shirts and a pair of panties before joining you on the bed. As you settled into your night routine, you both slipped under the covers and held each other close. Your head found its place on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear, while his arms enveloped. 

“Princesa?” Javier whispered, careful not to disturb the delicate moment.

“Hmm?”

“Was- was that good?”

“Oh, Javi.” You tilt your head up to look at those gorgeous brown eyes. “You were phenomenal, it was perfect” Javier smiles, and leans down to give you one last passionate kiss before drifting off to sleep. That night, you both slept the best you had ever slept in your life. 

You dreamt of Javier, and Javier dreamt of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 9

A/N: Please let me know what you guys think! Don't forget to let me know what type of dates you'd like to see with Javi and our dearest librarian go on🤍Let me know If you want to be added or removed from the taglist

Series Taglist: @lordabovehelpme​ @agingerindenial​ @radiowallet​ @otherthingsinhead​ @obsessivelysearching​ @busycryin​ @peterparkerporker​ @startrekkingaroundasgard​ @beskarboobs​ @616wilsons @diogodxlot​ @what-i-wish-you-knew

[avelera]

“Break the Cutie” aka Whedon’s just writing his fetish over and over and people are just beginning to figure that out

(Title from TV tropes “Break the Cutie” trope of the same name)

I’ve been thinking a lot about the latest “reveals” about Joss Whedon, namely, that his take on certain superhero franchises is just objectively bad (as someone who loathes “Age of Ultron”, this comes as no surprise to me) and the even less shocking (to those paying attention for the last 20 years) “revelation” that he’s abusive to his cast (all except for his self-selected male stand-in who plays his Mary Sue) which is even less surprising from a man who referred to his actors not-so-jokingly as “meat puppets”.  

But I do find this implosion of his reputation, for the lack of a better term, rather objectively interesting as someone who liked Buffy Season 1-2 back in the day and is from the era where worshipping Joss Whedon was like worshipping Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow-- simply put, it was inescapable in most nerd communities. And the worship was largely by female fans because, shocker, Buffy was largely aimed at young nerd women.

Were all those women simply blind? Did they not see the subtly misogynistic mind behind the creation of such breakout “feminist” nerd icons as Buffy? Were they taken in? 

I don’t actually think that’s the case. Rather, beyond the fact that complex feminist theory wasn’t necessarily being taught in the late 90s to young nerd women, I think there is a nuance between idolizing and fetishizing “Strong Female Characters” that can be difficult to distinguish and that the differences are not necessarily visible during most parts of a standard story structure.

Buffy was a strong female character, no sarcastic capitalization needed, because the fetishizing parts are largely limited to individual story beats, such as the “Long Night of the Soul”, for example. 

Simply put, Joss Whedon’s fetish was the moment that Strong Female Characters are broken, so 90% of the story buildup of the character remains indistinguishable from someone building up a strong female character because they want her to be strong vs. wanting to see the moment she breaks.

And here’s the thing, as a writer, I get it. I get that we all have our story fetishes. We all have things we write about, over and over, the niggling loose tooth of a concept we can’t stop prodding at. 

And yeah, as an angst writer in particular, I get it when the thing that gets your motor running for the objectively difficult slog of writing a story is seeing your beloved character bruised, suffering, and at the end of their emotional rope because of all the trials you’ve thrown at them. My personal story “fetish” is seeing characters transformed into the thing they most fear themselves becoming, either physically or mentally, and their struggles with that confrontation and what they and their loved ones go through during this horrific event. This story fetish colors pretty much all of my long-form stories. 

Heck, I loved Season 2 of Buffy because Joss Whedon’s “see the strong character bruised and in anguish” fetish resonated with me. Not for the weird sexual aspects--for those uninitiated, Buffy sleeps with her Good Vampire boyfriend Angel, who promptly loses his soul and becomes essentially a demonic version of himself she has to fight and eventually kill, for maximum emotional anguish, at the climax of the season--I ate that up as an angsty teen! Not because of the actual sex, I admit I could have given that part a miss and I consider that part of Whedon’s weird sexual hangups coming into play around Purity and Sin and Anguish or whatever, but the idea of your moment of greatest intimacy/joy becoming your moment of confrontation with your worst nightmare is the stuff that really melodramatic angst is made of. So I get it and I enjoyed it as a viewer, at one point.

But where Whedon lost me there is that Buffy and Angel never get to be together. They’re perpetually apart from that point on, and eventually see other people, end up with other people, etc. I mean, what’s the point of the Ultimate Suffering around needing to kill your own soulmate if the story is then just going to ignore them being your soulmate? The suffering was just never ending. Buffy was a bit like Dean Winchester after a while, just never allowed to catch a break. Because Joss didn’t want a Strong Female Character overcoming obstacles and eventually triumphing for good, he was in it to see a Strong Female Character who he gets to watch at her lowest moment, surrounded by other Strong Female Characters repeatedly going through their lowest moments of pain and anguish, over and over, until we reach some sort of network-required conclusion. 

Like the cruelty of Benioff and Weiss of Game of Thrones fame, it’s not difficult to understand once you see it. Sometimes, the angst and cruelty is the reward. The real sin of Joss Whedon is that he didn’t stop there but let his fetish spill over into his working and personal life by fetishizing the women who played the strong female characters he wrote and by being cruel and abusive to men and women on set who weren’t fitting his weird fetishistic obsession when it spilled into the way he ran his real life. Because word to the wise, all you creators out there, your fetishes will keep you going in your art, and keep you warm on a cold night, but letting them take over you creative process rather than simply provide power for it is a fast track to becoming a failed creator for a multitude of reasons. Hopefully, just that you can’t objectively view your own work anymore and accept critique, but more harmfully as we see here, when you play out our story fetish skit on real people, which only grows worse when you’re so insulated by fame and fortune that no one can tell you no.  

(There’s another aspect of Joss’s storytelling that I’m going to break into another post, if you got this far. That is, that Joss doesn’t accept the premise of most of his stories. That is, he rarely takes a world he didn’t build himself seriously and that lack of accepting the premise of the world, is why he can be great at banter, but often fails at the new era of superhero movies. 

Part 2 - link once it’s up.)

[slythergirlimagines]

Don’t Call Me Princess Part 1- Zuko x Reader

Summary: Reader and Zuko can’t stand each other, so when they are forced to share a room, chaos ensues. Lots of angst and fluff! (GIF Not mine!! Please someone tag me in some Zuko gifs I’m struggling to find them) masterlist

  Words: 2,470              Requested: Yes. I combined the requests for enemies to lovers and bedsharing

          Don’t Call Me Princess- Part 1

  You were exhausted. The past three days had been hell for you. The Gaang had gone to try and free a village from Fire Nation occupation, but it hadn’t gone half as smoothly as you’d planned. You’d been kidnapped halfway through, but luckily you were rescued before any harm came to you. It was who rescued you that was the problem.

  Ever since he had switched sides and joined forces with Aang, Prince Zuko had been a thorn in your side. He was moody, antagonistic, and you were always fighting with him. He was so infuriating and always trying to get a rise out of you. Zuko had been the one to save you, and he hadn’t let you forget it.

   “You know if you wanted my attention Princess, you didn’t have to go and get yourself kidnapped. Coulda just said so.” He had smirked when he’d found you. You would’ve decked him if you could’ve, but of course he made sure to mess with you when you were tied up.

   “Get me out of here Zuko.” You’d demanded.

   “I don’t know... I kinda like where you are.” You hated how the look he gave you made your stomach flip. Obviously it was your body trying to vomit.

    “Get. Me. Out.” You had gritted your teeth.

   “Sure thing princess.”

   “Don’t. Call. Me. PRINCESS!” You had shrieked.

   Zuko had called you princess from the moment he joined the team. He was always degrading you like that, and it made you want to throttle him.

   You and Zuko managed to get out safely, and the Gaang freed the village. What should have been a victory for you was tainted by Zuko, who hadn’t shut up about saving you since it happened.

  Currently, you were discussing where to go from there. None of you particularly wanted to camp after this experience. It was Katara who brought up the idea of taking a break. Toph had managed to scam you guys some money, and you had just enough to afford to stay somewhere and relax for a few days.

   “Like a vacation?” Sokka asks excitedly, Toph nodding in agreement.

  “Yeah, I think it could do us all some good.” Katara says, fingers combing through her thick dark hair.

    Everyone sits digesting this idea for a while.

   “So where do we go?” Aang asks. It surprises you that Aang actually wants to take a few days off. In the beginning he had acted his age, but the longer you all had spent on the road, the more dedicated to the cause Aang had become.

  “We’re close enough to Hépíng.” Zuko says. “It’s a city of peace and relaxation. Maybe princess can avoid trouble there.”

   “Shut up Zuko!” You snap before you can control yourself. You know this is what he wants, but you can’t help it when he goads you like that.

  “I get it ok? You saved me. What do you want from me?” You cry.

   “How about some gratitude?” He snapped back. “I’m always having to save your ass from something, and all you do is sit around and pout.”

    “What?!” You demand. White hot rage flows through you. If you were a firebender you knew you’d be on fire.

    “Just last week the Sea Monster knocked you off the boat, and I had to go get you. Then a few weeks before that, you were being nice to that man who tried to take you. Had to get you out of that one. And then there was that time-“ Zuko counts on his fingers.

    “Enough!” You cut him off. He’s made you so mad that you’re shaking. “Newsflash Zuko, I didn’t need your help any of those times! I had them all handled. It’s not my fault you decide to prematurely step in!” You screech.

    “Didn’t need my help?!” He says back. His amber eyes flash defiantly, and he balls his hands into fists. “Princess, please tell me what you would have done if I hadn’t stepped in any of those times!”

    “What do you want an essay detailing my plans? I would have thought of something, you just never give me the chance!” You seethe.

    “Right. Ok, sure.” Zuko says.

   “What’s that supposed to mean?” You’re heaving now. Your fingers itch to slap him, maybe strangle him. You think that would feel really cathartic.

   “You want to know what I mean? You really want to know?” He snaps.

    So far everyone else has remained silent. They had learned early on to just let you and Zuko fight it out. If your fights were deadly against each other, you were even worse when you teamed up against one of them. Now they look uncomfortable, eyes darting between you two.

   “Guy, maybe you shouldn’t....” Aang starts.

   “No, let him say it Aang! I want to hear it.” You cross your arms and jut out your chin in defiance.

   “Guys really...”

  “Stay out of this Aang!” You both snap at the same time.

   Zuko whips his head angrily back at you, locks of raven hair falling into his eyes.

   “You know what I really think? I think you’re the most incapable person here!” Zuko snaps. “You’re always making stupid decisions that jeopardize not only yourself, but every one else on this team!”

    His words hurt a lot more than they should. You and Zuko had fought every day, but never before had he said something so cruel to you. Angry tears well up in your eyes.

   “You know what? Fine, maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m incapable and incompetent, but at least I’ve never intentionally done anything to harm this team. At least my nation isn’t destroying everything it touches, and oh yeah, at least my father isn’t behind it all!”

   You’ve never said something so cruel either. You almost regret saying it, when you see hurt flash on Zuko’s face. Your eyes linger on his scar, the brutal reminder of his monster of a father. Zuko’s face falls, but then it solidifies into an even angrier expression. He opens his mouth to say something even worse, before Aang cuts him off.

   “ENOUGH!” He yells. “All you guys do is fight and I’ve had it! You guys are so unnecessarily mean to each other it’s ridiculous! We’re a team. We only work when we’re supporting each other. What is wrong with you two?!”

   Aang’s face is red and his chest is heaving. You’ve only ever seen him so torn up once. You clench your jaw and look away as you blink back the tears.

   “We’re taking a much needed break, ok? Can’t you guys just be civil for a few days. Please?” Aang pleads.

   Neither you nor Zuko says anything, and the silence hangs heavy for several moments. It feels like another challenge to see who folds first. Finally, you decide to be the mature one since Zuko clearly won’t

  “Fine.” You say. “I’ll be civil. As long as he says the hell away from me!” You stand up and stomp off to the furthest corner of Appa’s saddle.

  “Couldn’t agree more.” You hear him snark back.

   You hear Aang heave a long sigh, and Katara mutter something to him. Slowly, they resume a conversation about travel plans while you sit and mope.

   Zuko somehow always knew your biggest insecurities, and knew exactly how to strike at them. You had always felt like a burden to the team. You weren’t a bender, and truthfully you weren’t a skilled fighter either. You didn’t really know why they kept you around, and it haunted you enough without Zuko reminding you every five seconds.

   Subtly, you turn your head and watch the team interact. Even Zuko had rejoined the conversation. They were fine without you, you noted sadly. Maybe Zuko was right.

           ——————————————-

   Hépíng is a gorgeous city. It lives up to its reputation of peace. The city is flooded with tourists, and it makes it easier for you all to blend in. Zuko is vaguely familiar with this place, and leads you to the strip of land where all of the Inns are.

    Sokka and you are the least recognizable of the group, so you briefly play rock, paper, scissors to determine who has to go book your rooms. You know Sokka always picks rock, so you go with paper. Sokka grumbles all the way into the Inn.

   It takes him what feels like hours to come back out. He looks grim, and you feel your heart drop. You had just gotten excited about having a break from Zuko, you didn’t want to have to jump right back into saving the world.  

   “Ok so here’s the thing.” Sokka says, “I got us rooms, but there can only be two people in a room. So we’re going to have to split up.”

   “Ok so what?” You ask, shrugging. You didn’t get why this was such a big deal.

   “Because one of us is going to be unfortunate enough to share a room with you.” Zuko says, rolling his eyes. “Princess.” He narrows his amber eyes and smirks. 

  “That’s it!”

   You’re about to start throwing punches when Sokka ends it.

   “You know what?” He says. “I’ve made up my mind. Aang and I will share, and Katara and Toph will share. You two” he says pointing between you and Zuko, “are going to work out your problems. Now is the perfect time to do it.”

   You can feel the color draining from your face.

   “What?” Zuko asks at the same time you give an emphatic “No!”

   “Does anyone object to that arrangement?” Sokka asks.

   You and Zuko both raise your hands, but nobody else does.

   “Come on guys it’ll be good for you.” Katara says. “You all have never gotten to properly bond, and the fighting has got to stop.”

   “This is absolutely ridiculous!” You say, stamping your foot.

    “You think you got the bad deal, Princess?” Zuko huffs. “If you’re so miserable go sleep on Appa.”

     “Shut the fu-“

    “Alright!” Sokka says, slapping his hands over Aang’s ears. “Let’s go find our rooms.”

          ——————————————-

   The inn is nice and cozy inside, with a warm fire in the fire place. You used to love fire before you associated it with Zuko. Of course he had to ruin that for you.

   Sokka leads you past the tavern, and into a back hallway with five rooms. Katara and Toph take the first one. You manage to get a peek of the inside, a spacious room with two beds and what appeared to be a chair and tables. The room next to their is occupied, so Sokka leads you and Zuko to the end of the hall.

    “Our room is across from yours.” Sokka says, handing Zuko the key to your room. “Please don’t get us kicked out of here. We all need this.”

   “This was your brilliant idea, chief.” You snark at him, flipping your hair over your shoulder. “Any casualties are on you.”

     Zuko snatches the key and nods his agreement.

    “You’ve brought this on yourself, buddy.” Zuko says.

    Sokka slumps against the door frame as Aang throws open the door to their room.

   “Sokka look! These beds are great for jumping!” Aang says, using his bending to propel himself higher.

    Sokka’s face falls even further.

   “Gotta go.” He says, and slams the door behind him.

     You and Zuko are left standing in the hallway in tense silence.

    “Well? Aren’t you going to let us in?” You huff.

   Zuko rolls his eyes but unlocks the door. You purposely knock into his shoulder as you enter the room, causing him to stumble. You smile vindictively to yourself as you walk inside until you notice something’s wrong.

    “Um Zuko?” You say slowly. “Now is the only time I’ll tolerate you calling me dense. Am I hallucinating?” You say taking in the room.

     Zuko stiffens beside you as he also examines the room.

    “I really, really wish I could say yes.” He says.

    There’s a notable difference between your room and the others’ rooms. Where they had two beds, you only have one large bed.

    It takes a moment for either one of you to say something. Your horror is reflected on Zuko’s face as you turn to look at each other.

   “Sokka!” You yell, going over to pound on his door.

    “Sokka open up right now or Zuko is going to fry your ass!” You yell.

    “I’ll do it, Sokka.” Zuko threatens. It sounds more dangerous coming out of his mouth than yours.

    A bleary-eyed Sokka pushes open the door.

    “What are you guys-“ but before he can finish his sentence, you and Zuko are hauling him to your room to show him the offending bed.

    “Oh.” He says when he sees the bed. “They didn’t tell me that.”

    “You and Aang have to switch us!” You beg. “We can’t do it Sokka. You’re asking way too much.”

   “Yeah what kind of vacation is this?” Zuko demands. “Just let us switch rooms, we’ll get over sharing if we have our own beds.”

    “Yeah! You won’t hear a peep out of us the rest of the week.” You add on.

    Sokka shakes his head.

   “Nuh uh. No way. You’re just going to have to deal with it. Share it, sleep on the floor, I don’t really care. I don’t want to hear from either of you for the rest of the day.” He says. He turns to leave and then stops. 

   “How about we make a deal?” Sokka says turning completely back around.

   “Anything!” You beg. 

   “Sokka please man.” Zuko says.

   A huge grin splits Sokka’s face nearly in two. You don’t like the expression on his face one bit.

  “Aang and I will switch you rooms, if you can go the first three days without fighting.” You open your mouth to protest, before Sokka shushes you. “Not one fight. You’re going to spend three days together. You are going to work out your issues, and then, if you manage to do that, Aang and I will switch for the remainder of our vacation. Can you do that?”

  You make eye contact with Zuko, and try to read his expression. Sokka is asking for a lot. Three whole days of dealing with Zuko just to have four days of your own bed. Zuko’s eyes narrow at the challenge, and you find yourself mirroring him,

  “Deal.”

A/N: Welcome to my new series;) I hope you all enjoy it. I think I got everyone who asked on my taglist, but if I missed you please let me know!

Taglist: @galacticamidala​ @a-random-queer-kid​ @taeeemin​ @realimbo​ @samsmultifandomblogs​ @fire1ordzuzu​ @shortmexicangirl​ @wingeddemonclub​ @mangoberry34​ @marvel-ing-at-it-all​