#like it's the same concept. they both have two names. how come clark kent and kal-el are both understood to be two separate names

[mamawasatesttube]

i will preface this with that im aware that it doesn't actually matter gdjgfkh but im still so bewildered by how many different ways people come up with to mix up kon's two names instead of just using them as two names, even though they DO use two separate names for clark. like people are out here going kon el kent, or kon kent, or most egregiously konner kent but i have never once seen kal kent, kal el kent, or... kalark kent? what's up with all that.

[epiemy]

Hi, I love your Batfam writing!!! And if you're still taking orders, would I like a headcanon where the reader is Wonder Woman and Superman's daughter and starts dating Jason? It would be amazing to read this! Thank you for your attention.

JASON TODD DATING A SUPERMAN AND WONDER WOMAN DAUGHTER

Warnings: Basic violence, mentions of sex and sensible themes.

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 1000+

A/N: Sorry for grammar mistakes.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

ok, let's start at the beginning (no, at the end, smart)- sorry I'm too much of a joke today;

I believe it's a consensus among the fandom that the three oldest members of the Justice League have already hooked up at some point (B, Diana and Clark);

With that in mind, one day our dear Amazon disappears from the League with just a note to Bruce letting him know that she is pregnant and that SupsTM can't even dream that this happened... B is not a billionaire vigilante for nothing, he understood the situation. and gave his word to keep silent;

during the 20 years that Diana remained on Themyscira, she trained her little girl along with Hippolyta and other of her sisters, teaching you how to behave, fight and most importantly, not depend on any man in your life;

the eldest never had a problem talking about Clark, so it was obvious that she knew at some point you'd want to meet her father and the famous Uncle Bruce, or (B)itchman - nickname you swore you'd never tell anyone;

imagine Superman's surprise to see a girl who is the exact mix of him and Wonder Woman standing at his door with a confident posture...

woman, you just broke the most powerful being on earth, congratulations;

anyway, when explaining the whole situation he clearly understood, but he also had to say that he is married now and that he has two children, one named Conner and the youngest, Jon;

you met them both on the same day, and I must say that Conner liked you the most, he loved his personality;

that's not why Jon hated you, in fact the 9 year old boy loved you, but he just saw you as his older sister just like Kon, but the older one saw you as a best friend;

coming out of sentimentality, you found the world of men extremely curious and thought that the most appropriate person to show you around was Uncle Bruce, so you were determined to meet the dreaded Batman;

as your mother was busy on a mission with the Green Lantern, you took the opportunity to visit Wayne Manor, a very beautiful place in your conception of beauty, but which would never come close to the island where you were born and raised;

before you even knock on the door, a tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed man looks at you in surprise as he recognizes Diana's features;

"Hi Uncle Bruce, I'm Y/N Prince Kent or Y/N-El" you nod excitedly and he gives you a slight smile, nodding in agreement;

"Hello Y/N, it's nice to finally meet you. Please come in, Alfred our butler is preparing a meal for us, but I should let you know we have a guest" he points out and you just nod, following him inside the mansion.

when passing through the dining room door you notice 5 pairs of eyes on you, and recognize the first with surprise;

"Kon you bastard, you could have given me a ride, flying is tiresome" you clap him on the shoulder, and of course the boy feels pain, you've inherited your father's powers in full and even the skills/training of an Amazon

"Ouch, I didn't even know you were coming here and I get tired too, Jon had to fly me in, believe me when I say it's pretty embarrassing to be on your 8 year old brother's lap"

the others just watched the interaction with a raised eyebrow, Jason was completely enchanted by her beauty and was sure he was dating Conner, he never liked the boy after all;

Dick had the biggest charming smile, he had a sense of who his parents were and we all know he has a CLIFF for tall women;

Tim was working and so he barely paid attention, while Damian just ignored the situation going straight to the point that everyone wanted to know: "Who the hell are you?"

"Dami! Don't be rude!" Dick mutters to the boy as Jason slaps the younger one on the neck saying "Shut up brat, leave the girl alone"

you look at the interaction, completely embarrassed that you forgot to introduce yourself, but then snap back into your dominant posture to wave to the boys;

"I'm Y/N Prince Kent, but you can call me Y/N" You say smiling and soon you notice the gears in each one's head trying to put the pieces together but then it helps "yes, I'm their daughter and you didn't know nothing because I was raised on the island where my mother spent most of her life" a chorus of Ah's was heard and the eldest soon came to give him a hug, he just didn't expect he would get a headlock;

"By Hera, sorry, sorry" you release him red with embarrassment "we were taught not to let men touch us without permission"

Dick is embarrassed apologizing to you while Jason and the others started laughing on account of their brother;

"It was my mistake, but I must introduce myself better, I'm Dick, the best vigilante here, the-" "Nightwing" you cut him off to smile "I love what you do, however you're not my favorite"

He soon raises an eyebrow "so who should it be" and you just point a finger at Jason and Damian who are smug on the couch "I really like Robin a lot but Red Hood is what really does justice for lost lives, I appreciate the change that he does it for the good of the city, and the other day I found him feeding stray kittens with Robin, it was just adorable" the two cited are red in the face but quickly hide;

after that interaction, you and Jason took your numbers and became extremely close, it was painfully obvious that you both liked each other;

Jay was the one who couldn't take the tension between you any longer and decided to take her to a special coffee shop in her old neighborhood to ask her out on a date, which you happily accepted;

going to your 2 years of dating, you just accepted that the apartment you started sharing with your boyfriend would be shared with 5 more people Dick, Tim and Damian, who would come after patrols to eat and rest (they actually love you and want stick around), Kon who loves to bother Jason and Roy who lives to call you sister-in-law and see you daily;

you didn't mind having so many people in the house, it was nice to have something buzzing especially after taking up your mantle in Justice League as Wonderfall, going up against Jay, your mom and dad who steadfastly disapproved of you getting involved in that world. After weeks of arguing they decided you were too stubborn to try to change your mind, so they accepted. Bruce knew from the start that you were a lost cause, so he trained you for months to be able to handle anything, even without your powers;

your relationship with Jason would be comical to say the least, I imagine him being a huggable bear and not wanting to get up in the morning, until you use your laser to burn off a piece of your clothing, where he usually drops a smart line like "if you wanted me naked, it was just asking for babygirl";

it's in this line that he usually gets a sex strike, since you were deathly late for work;

B gave you a position at Wayne Enterprise, where you'd be with Tim to help the workaholic kid, and he pays handsomely;

anyway, as much as sometimes your lives are crazy, you would be happy to have each other;

enough of this cheesy shit, if you want a part 2 vote, comment and reblog!

[maxwell-grant]

You have done an (excelent) post on how to reinvent Batman as a Pulp Hero. Do you think you could do one to Superman as well? Or do you think it is impossible to do this with the progenitor of the Super Hero genre without transforming him in a totaly diferent character?

Well, you saying it as impossible only makes it seem ever more tempting of a challenge, but yes, it is a bit harder. I'm gonna link my Batman post here as a reference point.

Partially because Batman's a franchise I've thought extensively about for a long time in regards to what I like about it or how I'd like to approach if given the opportunity, which is not something I can really say for Superman until more recently the Big Blue to start orbiting my brain. I don't have years worth of redesigns or fan concepts saved on my galleries and files to comb through to pick and choose here, and my experience with Superman as a character is considerably different, in some aspects more deeply personal, and not really something I'd like to go into in this blog, at least not now.

Part of the reason why it's harder is also because Batman and Superman have very different relationships with their pulp inspirations. Batman was, ostensibly, a pulp character adapted to comics, a dime-a-dozen Shadow knock-off who picked up and played up diverging traits from other characters and gradually ran with them to gradually forge a unique identity. Superman right from the start was rooted in a much stronger conceptual underpinning: the Sci-Fi Superman and Alien Menace who, instead of being a tragic monster or a tyrannical villain, becomes a costumed adventurer and social crusader. Even the name Super-Man was taken from an early story of Siegel and Shuster about a telepathic villain who ends the story lamenting that he should have used his powers for the good of mankind instead of selfishness. I hesitate to call what Siegel and Shuster were doing “subversive” because that term's picked up a real negative connotation, and it's not like Siegel and Shuster were out to upend their influences (they were pulp aficionados themselves), but rather putting a more positive, new spin on them.

Which is why it also becomes a bit harder to do what I did with Batman and align Superman with some of his pulp-esque inspirations, like John Carter, Flash Gordon or Hugo Danner, without just making it "Superman but he's John Carter", "Superman but it's Flash Gordon", and "Iron Munro / Superman but everything sucks" respectively. It's harder to create a character that wouldn't feel reduntant and derivative at best, and actively contradictory to Superman at worst.

I guess if I had to come up with a "Pulp Hero Superman" take I liked, well first of all I'd have to take steps to distance it from the likes of Tom Strong or Al Ewing's Doc Thunder, those two are as good as it gets in regards to Pulp Supermen. I stipulated for Batman a "No Guns, No Murder, No Service" policy partially to distance my takes on Batman from all the "Pulp Batmen" that just add guns and murder and take Batman back to the barest of basics. Likewise, I'm adding a "No Depowered Science Hero" rule here, which means it's a take that's likely going to veer off a lot more into fantasy and probably enough tampering with Clark's character that it does risk becoming a different character.

Frankly I don't think I'm gonna succeed at doing these without just making it a new character entirely, because with Batman you can get away with just upending the character's aesthetic and setting and even origin and still keep it recognizably Bruce Wayne (in fact Batman does that all the time), which isn't really the case with Superman, who needs those to remain recognizably Superman as he goes through internal changes and character shifts. I guess what I'm gonna do here is more taking the building blocks of Superman/Clark Kent and see a couple new ways I can rearrange them to create a Pulp Superman

Perhaps something we can do is to scale back or recontextualize the "superhero" parts without diminishing Superman's role as a superpowered fantasy character.

One way we can start is by picking on that connection between Superman and the sci-fi supermen/alien monsters of pulps I mentioned earlier and play it up further, to create a Superman who's deeply, deeply alien in a way that no mild-mannered disguise or colorful outfit can really disguise, something so dramatically powerful and alien, that instead you could get tales about the kinds of ensuing changes and ripple effects this has on the world upon the The Super-Man's arrival. And for that I'm gonna have to quote @davidmann95's concept for Joshua Viers' absolutely stunning Superman redesign on the left side of the image above

The red, the goldish-orange and white, the alienness, the angelic, sculpted feeling, the halo, that innocently curious expression: it’s genuinely beautiful. Superman as a redeeming science-angel from beyond our understanding, as much past the uncanny valley of limited human comprehension as a Lovecraftian monster but tuned to the opposite key - you could spend an endless procession of human lifetimes trying and failing to understand this being, but all you’ll ever know for sure is that it is beyond you, and it knows you, and it loves you.

Superdoomsday from Earth 45, healed and transformed into the savior it was originally envisioned as? Some descendant of his, or a future of the man himself? An alien who picked up on a broadcast of Superman from Earth, and so inspired reshaped itself in his image to spread his ‘gospel’ to the stars?

Alternatively, to come back to Earth a little, many, many pulp characters and series were built off the antics and personalities of real people, celebrities getting their own magazines or serials or fictionalized takes on them, so perhaps one way to make a "pulp" take on Superman would be to emphasize a bit more of Superman's real-world roots, trends that inspired his creation directly or indirectly at the time. The Jewish strongman Sigmund Breibart and Shuster's interest in fitness culture, Harold Lloyd's comic persona, the rising "strongman" film genre in the early 20th century, actors Clark Gable and Kent Taylor that supposedly named his secret identity, Clark Kent being a socially-awkward journalist based of Siegel's own school experiences.

Maybe one start to an authentic Pulp Superman, who would still be Superman, would be to just ask the question "What if Superman was a real person and/or a celebrity, and they started making pulp magazines and serials dedicated to him? What would those look like?". You wouldn't even have to restrict it to just a story set in the 1930s, in fact you could even play around with the rise of new mediums over the decades.

This third one is a little closer to some plans I have for my own take on a Superman character, not necessarily what I would do with Superman proper but one of my ideas for a Superman analogue. Superman's a character I'll always associate strongly with childhood and childhood fantasy, and to tap into that I would emphasize the other end of the fiction that influenced Siegel and Shuster: comic strips, in their case specifically Little Nemo and Popeye.

In my case I would bring additional influences from some of the comic strips I personally grew up reading like Monica's Gang and Calvin and Hobbes, and I already talked a bit about Captain Fray in terms of how he’s a Superman character despite being a villain. I guess you could call this one "What if Superman was a public domain comic strip character, stripped of the importance of being the founding figure of a super popular genre or extended universe, and also was kind of ugly?".

He's not "Sloth from the Goonies" ugly, I swear I didn't actually have Sloth in mind when typing out this idea, I've never watched that film nor did I know until now that he actually spends the film in a Superman shirt. That's not really what I'm going for. Visually I was thinking of modeling my take on Superman heavily after Hugo from Street Fighter and his inspiration Andre the Giant, to really emphasize the “circus strongman / freak wrestler” aspect of Superman’s inspiration, particularly in regards to how Hugo’s SFIII version strikes a really great balance in making Hugo ugly and both comedic and fearsome in battle, as well as lovable and even a little dopey (without being outright stupid, like his IV self) in his victory animations and endings.

He's still Superman, he still goes on fantastical adventures to help people, he's still a deeply loving and compassionate soul whose face beams with joy and affection and who's got wonderful eyes and a great smile. It's just that this smile has a couple of mismatched stick-out teeth or some missing ones, and he's got a crooked smile some people take as smug or malicious, he’s got a strongman’s gut instead of a bodybuilder’s abs, his nose is a little busted (maybe he’s had too many crash landings), and his hair is a little wild or greasy, and he doesn't exactly have very good people skills because of how others usually react to him and, y'know, he doesn't get the kind of publicity Superman would get despite doing ostensibly the same things. He’s not deformed, he’s incredibly intelligent and capable, but in comparison to how superheroes are usually allowed to look, he might as well be Bizarro in the public eye.

It becomes a running gag that people tend to assume some nearby fireman or cop was the one who rescued the hundred orphans out of a burning building single-handedly, meanwhile he's getting accosted off-panel by police officers who think he set the building on fire, or think they can bully this weird man dressed funny. He goes to rescue old people in peril and occasionally they yell at him that they don't have any money. He doesn't get asked to lead superhero meetings or teams even though many in the community advocate for just how much he does for the world, he gets censored out of tv broadcasts or group shots (even his face is sometimes pixelated when they do show him), people invite him on talk shows and don't really let him talk or assume they got the wrong guy. He goes to rescue a woman dangling off a building, and then he gets attacked by like three different superhero teams who assume he must have kidnapped the poor damsel. He was the first superhero, he is the strongest of them all still, but he never really gets credit for it, it nor does he even want to. None of this at all stops him or deters him, except for some occasionally funny reactions.

This never really changes for him, he doesn't really earn people's approval nor does he have to, instead the stories, outside of the gags and adventures you’d expect from a comic strip, veer more towards others learning to be less judgmental and him learning ways to better approach people. He isn't any lesser than Superman just because he doesn't look like most people would want him to look and he doesn't have to look like Superman. Really I think we could use more superheroes that don’t look all so uniformly pretty.

Again, probably not a take that would work for Clark proper, but it’s one way I would take a shot at doing Superman with my own

I have other stuff in the works for this character but I'd like to keep them to better work on them for now, but yeah, these are three of my shots at developing a Pulp Superman.

Alternatively here's a fourth idea that's more pulp than all of these: Join up Nicholas Cage with Panos Cosmatos again, or whatever weird indie director he decides to pair up with next, and let them do whatever the hell they want with Superman. Give us Mandy Superman. Superman vs The Color Out of Space. Superman vs Five Nights at Freddy's. Superman’s quest to find THE LAST PIG OF KRYPTON. Anything goes.

[polyamoryinfandoms]

Monthly Fic Roundup!

Hey gang! I’m posting the fics that were recommended on our last surveymonkey poll; thanks for everyone who recommended fics. Please note I did not get to read every fic on here and depended on your responses and the AO3 tags to mark for any triggers or story notes, so please read with caution if you’re worried about any content warnings!

If you want to recommend more fics, I’ll be posting another roundup poll later in the day today! 

Under the cut are 32 fics from: 

Agents of Shield (1) 

Bill & Ted (1) 

Castlevania (1) 

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (1) 

DCU (2) 

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (4) 

Game of Thrones (1) 

Harry Potter (1) 

Leverage (1) 

Mission Impossible (1 -- series) 

Sanders Sides (1-- series)

Sense8 (1)

Sherlock (1-- series) 

Star Wars (1) 

Stranger Things (8) 

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1) 

The Untamed/CQL/MDZS (2)

Teen Wolf (2) 

White Collar (1) 

Agents of Shield: 

is it chill that you’re in my head? by lazyfish 

Pairing: Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse/Alphonso Mackenzie

TW/TAGS: PTSD, Referenced Torture

Summary: It doesn't take long for Mack to realize he's in love with Bobbi and Hunter and has been for a while. Other realizations take slightly longer.

Bill and Ted (movie):

Our Home, Our Family, Our Love by CaptainWeasley

Pairing: Bill/Ted/Elizabeth/Joanna

TW/TAGS: slurs, implied/referenced child abuse, internalized homophobia, self harm

Summary: A series of firsts in Ted's life, as he slowly comes to terms with his sexuality and learns how to handle being in love with both his wife and his best friend. When Billie and Thea come out as trans, each in her own way, he does everything he can to help them be who they are.

Castlevania: 

Deliverance by cricketsong1985

Pairing: Trevor Belmont/Sypha Belnades/Alucard

TW/Tags: Blood kink, explicit sexual content,  gore, trauma, angst

Summary: Adrian is beginning to think that Wallachia will be a smoking pile of ash long before he, Trevor, and Sypha can stop Dracula’s war on humanity. They’ve been chasing the castle for months, but each time they get close, it vanishes. Traveling with such genuine and trustworthy allies has been unexpectedly pleasant; Adrian doesn’t mind that Trevor and Sypha are involved with each other, but he is taken entirely by surprise when they open their relationship to him one evening. Hopelessly in over his head, his heart keeps urging him forward, even when he’s forced to confront the darkest aspects of his nature. Adrian must learn to swallow his pride and let himself be vulnerable if he wants a chance at happiness. Unfortunately, there isn’t much time for looking within when the world is drenched in blood and magic, and the path to victory may destroy him completely.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: 

We will be judged by the courage of our hearts by MagicClem

Pairing: Harvey Kinkle/Sabrina Spellman/Nicholas Scratch

TW/TAGS: mention of an abusive parent 

Summary: It's been a month since the 13 almost destroyed Greendale. Now a full Witch, Sabrina tries to move on, with the help of one Nicholas Scratch.But one night, Harvey arrives at the Spellman's house and everything becomes complicated.

DCU: 

not for the faint of heart by pasdecoeur

Pairing: Hal Jordan/Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent

TW/TAGS: Explicit Sexual Content 

Summary: Clark opens a door that was meant to stay closed. Things spiral. or, What Not To Do When You’ve Fallen in Love with Batman: A Guide by Hal Jordan & Clark Kent.

All Good Things Come in Threes (Legends of Tomorrow) by IncendiaGlacies

Pairing: Gideon/Rip Hunter/Miranda Coburn

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting

Summary: “Two is a couple, three is a crowd,” Gideon stated. In which Gideon navigates her polyamorous relationship with Rip and Miranda. Domestic slice of life goodness.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off:

Pairing for all of these are Pairing: Cameron/Ferris/Sloane and are written by @fbdo1986

it’s enough to be whiplash

TW: death mention (no character death), drowning

A/N: To put it plainly, I took a few tricks from John Hughes’s earlier scripts of the film, which were more surreal and up-front with discussing death and end of the world scenarios. It was inspired by a concept that I couldn’t seem to shake after I thought of it: what if the pool scene was just a bit more high stakes?

all the things I never told you 

Summary: It’s Sloane, Ferris, and Cameron’s first afternoon alone at the Bueller residence in months. The busy twenty-four year olds who’ve struggled to find time together as their lives unfold in front of them try to think of what to do for the day when Cameron decides to let them in on what he’s been keeping from them.

bye bye love 

TW: Death mention (none of the main characters)

Summary: A hopefully angsty number that details Sloane’s, Cameron’s, and Ferris’s journey through heartbreak and loss after their Sophomore year in college. The title is named after a song by The Cars by the same name!

firestarter

Prompt #5: Where it doesn’t hurt with the OT3

Game of Thrones: 

Constellatory by blueandbulae

Pairing: Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell/Robb Stark (polycule, NO incest) 

TW: Some canon typical violence

Summary: It’s strange and messy and maybe nobody else will ever understand them but it works. It’s theirs, and theirs alone, and nobody can take that from them.Or: Robb and Theon storm King's Landing, rescue the princesses, and save the kingdom. Then comes the hard part.

Harry Potter: 

Unconventional by silver_fish

Pairing: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger

Summary: A few years, now, have passed since Hedwig’s death, and Hermione thinks it’s time Harry got a new pet. What sort of pet, though, neither she nor Ron know. Not until Harry himself offers her the perfect solution, that is.

Leverage: 

for better or worse (we change together) by idkimoutofideas

Pairing: Alec Hardison/Parker/Eliot Spencer

TW/TAGS: Canon typical violence

Summary: The moment Parker saw the stranger standing by the elevator, a dozen alarm bells went off in her head. She froze, and Hardison nearly walked into her as he entered behind her. It took her a moment to realize that while half of the alarm bells were telling her to get the fuck out of there, the other half were telling her to look closer. Or, Eliot Spencer is a recent war veteran who just moved to Portland in an attempt to lead a calmer lifestyle. He ends up with some weird neighbors, but it's Portland, everyone's a little weird.

Mission Impossible: 

Polyamorous Spies (series of 2 fics) by MagicClem

Pairing: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt/Ilsa Faust

TW/TAGS: Blood & injuries (2nd fic) 

Sander’s Sides: 

Love and Other Fairytales by SoDoRoses (Fairychess)

Pairing: LAMP/CALM (Logan, Roman, Virgil, Patton)

TW: violence, major character death, no NSFW in the main fic but there is a side series with NSFW, animal death, description of rot, nonconsentual control of another person, 'like death' state of being

Sense8: 

Crazy Life by MagicClem

Pairing: Kala Dandekar/Wolfgang Bogdanow/Rajan Rasal

Summary: Rajan would admit that this past few years had been crazy and life seems determined to make it crazier and crazier.Or: This is "Amor Vincit Omnia" from Rajan's perspective.

Sherlock: 

Lorem Ipsum by Saathi1013 (series) 

Pairing:  Sherlock Holmes/John Watson/Sarah Sawyer

TW: Abduction

Star Wars:

so just pull the trigger by Darnaguen

Pairing: Han Solo/Qi'ra/Lando Calrissian

TW/TAGS: Alcohol use 

Summary: “Oh, don’t pout Haan.” Lando lounges back, licking his newly berry-tinted lips with a lazy grin. “You know all you have to do is ask.”(Qi’ra’s eyes are glinting and her smile is dagger-sharp. Han knows the look: it’s one she wears whenever she has a winning hand.The dice on the table are mediocre at best. He shakes his head and drinks deep.)

Stranger Things: 

All pairings are Steve Harrington/Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler

The Hawkins Three by nonymos

TW: Some canon typical homophobia and slurs

Summary: It's two weeks after the Snow Ball, Nancy's officially with Jonathan, and Steve is trying to move forward. If only he wasn't on a path that keeps circling back to the both of them.

lovers in a dangerous time by diogxnes

TW/TAGS: Briefly: panic attacks/PTSD, parental neglect

Summary: “So,” says Robin, sitting back in her chair, “what’s the deal there, anyway? With the whole you-Nancy-Jonathan thing.”The question makes his mouth run dry. Why would she ask that? Can she tell, possibly, how much he’s been thinking about Nancy these past few days? How starstruck he was when Nancy showed up at his house? Does she know about the mysterious warmth in his stomach when he thinks about Jonathan? “What do you mean, the whole me-Nancy-Jonathan thing?” “Come on, Steve. She’s your ex and he famously beat you up two years ago and now they’re dating each other and all three of you somehow ended up a part of this weird little monster-fighting club together. There’s gotta be a story there.”“I don’t know, Robs,” says Steve, rolling his eyes, relieved beyond measure that that’s all she meant. “You pretty much just covered all of it. There’s not much more to tell.”

Have Happened by cortexikid

TW/TAGS: Homophobia

Summary: "I overheard you. You were talking in your sleep.”Steve's heart fluttered nervously.“It was a little funny at first,” Nancy admitted, her tone a mix of teasing and apologetic, “you were moaning my name and I thought it’d be kinda funny if Mike accidentally overheard you having a sex dream about his sister—”Steve couldn’t control the guffaw that escaped him. “But then you said Jonathan’s name. Right after mine. All in the same breath.”

it’s a risk, it’s a gamble by nondz (pinkjook)

TW/TAGS: NSFW

Summary: “I think we should pretend to date,” Robin says. "What?" Steve answers.

still turning out by scoutshonor

TW/TAGS: Homophobic language

Summary: Steve knows senior year's supposed to be tough, but seriously?Not only does his dad want him to take over his business, but he lands himself into a fight with his best friend leaving him friendless and booted out of his inner-circle, gets stuck watching a bunch of kids after school because of a missing credit, has to repeat eleventh grade history, and, oh yeah. He has the minor issue of having no idea what he actually wants to do with his life.But it's not all that bad: not the kids he has to watch, and certainly not Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers, two friends from his history class. Friends. Just friends. Yeah, he and you both know that's bullshit.Steve's got a lot of figuring out to do.(or: HSAU Stoncy with Steve as a senior, doing his best)

(Following Stoncy fics are by @pterawaters​) 

Now and For Always 

TW/TAGS: Explicit, Sex where one party is drunk and the other isn't

Summary: Between graduating from college, starting new careers, and planning a wedding, the summer of 1990 is a busy time for Nancy, Steve, and Jonathan. When a war starts in the middle east, Jonathan gets called away just three weeks before the wedding. He’s determined to make it back in time, no matter what it takes.

It's not like people live like this

TW/TAGS: Car Accidents, Period-Typical Homophobia, NSFW

Summary: Concerned that Steve's less-than-stellar grades might have been making them look bad, his parents hired him a tutor, Jonathan Byers, they were sure he wouldn't find as distracting as his last one. Sure, Jonathan had good grades in school, but he really wished he didn't have to take the extra work to help his mother put food on the table. After all, everyone knew Steve Harrington was a jerk. Right? It turned out, not so much. After an impromptu study-session-turned-party and a game of spin the bottle, Steve and Jonathan both found themselves dating Nancy Wheeler. And that wasn't even the strangest thing that happened to any of them that week.

Mr. Sandman (series) 

TW/TAGS: Canon-typical violence, Explicit scenes

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.: 

Simmer On Low by canardroublard

Pairing: Illya/Napoleon/Gaby

TW/TAGS: semi-implied consensual voyeurism, whump

Summary: Scenes from five kitchens.

The Untamed/CQL/MDZS: 

inclusions by keiyashi 

Pairing: Sòng Lán | Sòng Zǐchēn/Xiǎo Xīngchén/Xuē Yáng | Xuē Chéngměi

TW/TAGS: NSFW

Summary: “I guess I feel left out. And I’m asking you to show me how not to?”“Show you?” Xue Yang laughs, easing the tension the only way he knows how. “Daozhang, if you aren’t careful, I might think you’re implying something quite forward.”Xingchen blinks at him. “Xue Yang, I feel like you’re trying to embarrass me, but that is what I was implying.”

melting the glacier by keiyashi 

Pairing: Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén/Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo/Niè Míngjué

Summary: Wanting to be with Nie Mingjue is something Lan Xichen accepted about himself long ago. He wants only happiness for his friend, no matter what form it takes. Even if that form is quite lovely and possesses an enchanting mouth.

Teen Wolf: 

Feels Better Biting Down by callunavulgari, hiza-chan (callunavulgari)

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale/Lydia Martin

TW/TAGS: Blood

That I See You by FiccinDylan

Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski/Jordan Parris

TW/TAGS: NSFW, abo, m-preg (non graphic), werewolves, triads are normal

Summary: Deputy Jordan Parrish and Chef Derek Hale are in the prime of their lives and ready to take the next step in their relationship by courting an omega. Everything seems to be progressing smoothly until the new omega (aka Stiles Stilinski, the sheriff’s son) surfaces some unresolved tension from Jordan’s past. Jordan originally had the benefit of amnesia to block out his harried background, but now with his amnesia behind him, will he be able to resolve his past before he ruins his future?

White Collar: 

Always Starts the Same, with a Boy and a Girl by lightgetsin

Pairing: Neal Caffrey/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke

Tags: AU 

Summary: Summer, 1998. Neal Caffrey robs the gallery where Elizabeth O'Dell is working late, and comes away with a lot more than art. Agent Burke has no idea what's about to hit him.

[helahades]

The Goddess and the Grocer

(Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Sappy and hopelessly romantic, the part time art student, part time grocery bagger, and full time fantasy creator Steve Rogers lives in his head, with you as his muse. Making puzzles out of your groceries, and portraits of your every curve and edge, he fears and craves every interaction, while living with you as a lover in his mind.

A/N: Well. I have struggled with motivation for the longest. Something hit me though, and by something I mean other supportive writers and great friends. Hugest shoutout to @threeminutesoflife for being a darling and @imanuglywombat for making TWO beautiful mood boards I stare at more than Steve stares at the Peggy compass.

Warnings: creepy, obsessive Steve. ideation of creepy thoughts. food focused talk. mention of overeating. dub-con concepts. two mentions of alcohol consumption.

New blog, new me! I’ll take this moment to say I’m taking requests, and I love feedback even more than Steve loves you! hope you enjoy

Word Count: about 3k

-

Now rain slicked, the sheen of oil and water twists the reflections of the tonights red, red, green—-“can I make the turn, no too late” on yellow—now red traffic lights into a twisted rainbow on the city streets.

Down those streets, and across a barren parking lot, parents, lovers, businesspeople and more squeak and clack and slap their rainy shoes on the old speckled tile at the entrance (that Steve had just mopped) as they do every week.

At the Potts Grocery Store, nothing ever changes. And never in the night.

It isn’t just night though, it’s dead night. The odd time after things have slowed for sleep, after the rush in between when people bumble in (promising themselves promises they won’t keep about doing the shopping sooner next month), after the ten minute period within which Dr. Banner wordlessly picks up the same array of bland teas.

The night has crawled beyond all the events that happen as they do, and entered the dead night.

Maybe Steve is too poetic—like his dad says he is—too tied up in fate, and hope in life’s mystique, but he holds hope for what happens where the night is dead.

When the night dies, and most are asleep, with it, facades die too. The only people to come in the dead of night, are drunks, doctors, various night shifters, and… you.

He hasn’t yet questioned your reason for showing up so late. Hasn’t really, technically, spoken to you at all, really.

Some part of Steve thinks, maybe if he startles you, says something that clangs too loud or awkward, all your pieces will blow away, like some agitated dandelion, and he will never know you again, if he ever even knew you at all.

No, Steve’s job isn’t to startle you, or to take up your space. It’s to try and meet your eyes as you hand him the reusable bags. It’s to try and figure out what meal you’re planning from what he’s bagging, and what he already knows lies unused in your kitchen. It’s to put the bags in your cart if you’ll let him.

He hasn’t seen you yet. It’s getting late, where are you?

Somewhere between cold fluorescent and neutral warm desk lamps, the lights of the grocery store seem to exist both to chase shadows on tired shoppers' faces, and to mock him, like a candle finally blown out by a stood up date.

Had he done something wrong the last time? If he had, that couldn’t be helped. You were wearing those shorts and looked like you had just gotten ready for bed and you had your hair pulled back, but just a little fell into your face anyway.

And your scent. It always wraps around him like the saccharine spice of pastries when he swings open the bakery door for his morning shift.

The moment you breezed by him after checkout was almost too much to bear. He caught the fresh damp scent of your tied up and deep conditioned hair. You smelled like fresh linens and a life he can only imagine having when he’s chasing orgasms alone and twisting up his sheets.

He could have devoured you.

But he didn’t.

Not even when your shoulder accidentally grazed him while you were rushing out in a frenzy.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry,” came your frantic whisper.

He dreams of making you that delicate again. He thinks he could shape your unsure apologies in his hands like clay, or spread you thin on a canvas when you whisper so soft. But he didn’t do those things at all.

Steve being Steve, he tried to make his large frame slouch, your aura wrapping him up into a double life Clark Kent shyness, despite your gentleness.

He didn’t say a word.

A wordless, mirthless stretch of his lips. An “It’s okay, walk all over me” grin. You regarded him with a flicker of an odd glance, and then you were out the door.

As he finishes up with the last shopper in his lane, his worn Converse squeak as he leans his frame against the bagging station at checkout.

-

Last class, last week, his art teacher dropped a big assignment. Stuffy and sadistic, the man seemed to only eat the pain of lovers kept from expression, so of course, he relished in the moment he told the class to try a new medium, with a subject they hadn’t previously captured.

He seemed to look directly at Steve as he delivered the blow.

Steve's problem certainly isn’t creativity. It isn’t talent or lack of effort. He surely is adaptable, he rarely tells on his love!

For the still life project, he captured the tree that blocks your kitchen window. Heavy strokes in his sketchbook.

He even painted the park in blooms on a paper towel—yes a paper towel—when you justified to a cashier one day that all the crackers and deli meats were for a picnic.

So he has a muse. But he’s not a fool. Sometimes he spends so much time trying not to look like a fool, and paints so much around you instead of you, that it’s a self portrait of his own obsession.

Your face. Your curves. The many separated sections where he tried to master the texture of your hair. All those traces of you live in his sketchbook. Only twice has he turned in a portrait of you.

Being told he can’t have you makes Steve feel like he’s been too obvious. You’re his little secret. And he is no fool. He’ll have to be more careful. So here he is.

The canvas is as bare as the walls of his studio apartment.

Three jobs and a potted plant from his mom just aren’t enough to decorate life. He wishes he could capture sleep in a picture frame and hang it on the wall. When he got too tired and caffeine stopped working, he thinks he’d pick up those frames and absorb the sleep in the way he can absorb nostalgia when looking at a real picture.

Then, he thinks, that’s the sort of thing art majors say when they haven’t slept in three weeks.

The canvas is still bare. It isn’t like Steve. He always knows where to go, what he feels, what he wants.

His teacher told him to try something different. Had the nerve to clap Steve on the back after class and say something about stretching creative wings and finding a new muse.

He thinks the guy should have punched him in the face instead.

There’s nothing stuck about Steve. He knows what he wants and how to get there.

He also knows that schooling ruins the intent of art, he knows how to put love into colors, that art teachers know the least about expression out of everyone on earth, and that he works two night jobs a week to barely afford to be taught by that man anyway.

Life is full of oddities.

-

Some of life’s oddities are right there in your cart as you approach. Steve notices the rain has frizzed your hair, the lovely heart shaped curve of your lips as they stretch into a smile, and the way you yawn before you say hello to the cashier.

He makes a mental note that your hair might have a warmer tinge when illuminated by the sun. You’re already his sun. His stars too. Maybe even his whole universe.

You’re always warm in his paintings. Anything to separate you from the dreadful scheme of this commercial death trap.

What’s for dinner this week?

Your groceries thump onto the counter in practiced succession. Perishables together at the front, and non perishables as neatly as possible following behind.

So thoughtful, my sweet darling.

Your produce today mostly consists of fruit. It reminds Steve of how practiced he is with a knife. How he’d slice up your apples just right for you. He has the practiced skills of an artist. He’d take care of you.

Bucky likes to tell him that cooking is the art and baking is the science. That’s meant to mean that it’s no surprise that Buckys got a perfect little life with a perfect little baker who smiles like the sun and only trusts Bucky in her kitchen.

...And it’s no surprise that Steve’s artsy streak has led him here. Thinking about folding mandarin slices between your perfect lips and letting the flavor explode across your tongue.

He thinks about kissing you. How you would taste tangy and sweet as you try not so hard to push him off so he gets back to cooking and doesn’t burn the house down.

The house. A house with you. A home.

He sees you’re wearing a sundress, and tries not to pity you for the irony. In the closet of some cookie cutter three bedroom, you might ask him how you look in it. He would beg you to wear it just for him a little longer, but ultimately, he would have been able to warn you about the rain.

You wouldn’t have listened though, my stubborn angel.

He thinks about your thighs beneath your dress, and the heat between them.

Sometimes, his dreams betray him, and he steps through the threshold to your shared home, not an artist, but a “Honey, I'm home” suit wearing prisoner.

He fears the simple life, but with you, he believes simplicity could be enough. Maybe he would be rich enough to buy you a million sundresses.

But without his art, he’d be powerless to show you how rich you look, bathed in color, divine from his perspective.

Without his art, he has no outlet for imagination. The only thing that gets him off these days is imagining what you look like under your clothes, and how it might sound if you spoke his name.

When you buy lotion, or a candle, he makes a mental note of the scent, and uses it to color his experience later. You like warm sugary scents, or natural outdoorsy ones, with no in between.

As you small talk with the cashier, your card slips from between your fingers and clatters onto the unswept floor. Finishing a thought, you delay in retrieving it, but by the time you’re leaning down, Steve’s already handing it back.

Eyes flitting up to meet the baggage boy standing up at full height, you melt into an easier smile.

You notice first that his eyes are incredibly blue behind the dark window frames, and second that his hands are incredibly warm as he hands your card back.

Frazzled, and just a bit smitten, you smile kindly.

“Thank you,” you say sweetly, regarding him fully, perhaps for the first time, and pausing only to let your eyes drift to the knitted cotton polo stretched across his broad chest—no, to the name tag resting on it…

“Steve,” you finish with a smile that makes it ring like an exclamation point. To hear you finally pronounce his name… it’s like church bells. But they’re muted because now he can only consider your eyes locked on his.

He’s never wanted to escape somewhere and go home with someone so badly. And would it be so wrong?

He could slice up fruit for you. He could bring sausages and deli meats and blocks of cheeses whole from the market where they slipped him things free. He’d slice them up nice and wrap them in cloth and surprise you with an old fashioned wicker basket picnic in the mountains.

He’d let you eat yourself round. And after you were full, he’d still offer to feed you grapes, to pour you more wine.

Steve never understood why the rich ate bread with olive oil, but God he wanted to be rich enough to give you that. All the things that sound ridiculous to people who work to live. He wanted to work so hard you’d never work again.

He wanted to kiss you dizzy, bunch up the fabric of your dress on your hip and tell you he loves you while you’re wine drunk. He’d carry you back to the car and surprise you with wildflowers in a bunch.

Later, he’d paint you nude with them in your hair, and he’d feed you more grapes.

He would tuck you in and wrap you up for later when you woke up missing him. Maybe he wouldn’t leave at all. Maybe you would want to spend the whole day with him too.

He’s got a twinkle of charm in his eye and just a bit of sadness that looks every bit like the starving artist people believe him to be. Bucky hasn’t stopped bringing him the leftover rolls at closing since he found out Steve spends more money on paint than meals.

And is it so wrong? As Steve looks into your eyes, he musters all that charm his mom said he was born with. He blinks brighter the twinkle in his eye.

“You’re welcome,” comes Steve’s gentle, but sure reply.

You pause at that, because really it’s nothing... But people always seem to say “Don’t worry about it!”, “It’s nothing”, or maybe nothing at all.

You pause at how the reaction seemed genuine, in a world of practiced replies, and on a day that you’re feeling shitty because the rain ruined your hair and happiness.

You smile at him again, grateful for a pocket of truthful kindness, and turn back to the cashier, effectively ending the interaction.

Steve’s mind is spinning in ways he just can’t bring himself to understand. So he bags your groceries. You forgot the reusable bags, he doesn’t pause to wonder why.

Click. Click. Click. Beep!

Tomatoes. He bags them with the apples. Double bags for good measure.

Beep.

Spaghetti. The good kind that most people overlook in favor of a more common brand. New bag.

Beep.

Frozen garlic bread. He adores you. You’ve got garlic and basil and more herbs than you’ll ever need at home. You’d probably make the spaghetti noodles and parmesan yourself if you could. But you love five minutes at 400 garlic bread.

He imagines your pretty little kitchen, with all its various knick knacks, smelling like garlic and tomato sauce. He can’t help thinking you’d be impressed with his chopping skills too. Just how his mom taught him.

He imagines cooking with you in the dead of night, instead of being here. He imagines you bending over with your legs straight and your back curved and the oven mitts on to get garlic bread out of the oven. You put the tray on the cold burners Steve’s not using.

Maybe he would ask you to try the sauce, he’d hold the spoon to your lips after blowing off for you. Your eyes always flutter closed to process the taste of things, and sometimes he swears he could read your mind.

Then they would open. Wide. The same way they did when you tasted the new product double chocolate brownie sample last Tuesday. You would tell him how perfect it is and praise how he finally isn’t shy about using garlic anymore. Turning off the burners, he’d pull you into his arms, he’d kiss you til you saw stars…

-

Walking you backwards, still entangled in the breathless kiss, he wouldn’t stop until you bumped the padded kitchen bench. Then he’d fall to his knees.

“Steve, honey”—

You’d cut yourself off with a breathy moan because he’d already be under your skirt.

Kissing up your thighs, flattening his tongue against you, kissing you gently, before sucking your clit, while working it with the tip of his tongue, he’d show you again, like always, how passionate of a lover he is.

You’d moan like heaven, because you are.

You’d lean back, propping yourself up on an arm and pushing the other hand through his golden hair. You just can’t stop your hips from rolling against his tongue that’s still worshipping you.

He won’t use his fingers. It wouldn’t be proper, he’s just been cooking. So instead, he uses those hands to pull your thighs up onto his shoulders.

Still swirling his tongue around your clit, Steve is drawing you closer, your body seeming to know it’s own ways to pull him to you too.

It’s electric. You can’t stop and you’d never want to. He’d make love to you every single—

-

That’s not where he is though. He grabs the paper bags he’s bagged up with your ingredients and some other oddities, and he places them in the cart you’ve pushed forward.

He tries not to think about the fact that you’re going home alone. He tries not to think about how he’ll be sleeping alone, and in cold colors. Tries to skip forward to later when he has all the time in the world to imagine the way things should be.

A quiet goodnight and you’re on your way. You’re careful not to graze him as you walk away, and he’s careful not to be obvious watching.

The cashier leaves the station, and Steve puts his head down as he passes, before looking up in your direction as he always does.

Except… when he looks up to see your sundress swishing, it isn’t. And you’re turned back looking at him with this funny little look.

You smile. A twinkle of embarrassment, nervous to have been caught looking. He tries not to chuckle for all the irony.

He watches you as you watch him just a bit longer, before your sundress swishes out the door, and the light of your halo fades into the distance, consumed by the rain.

-

By the time his shift is up, the rain has stopped and the sky is colored like a bruise. The sun knocks at a threshold unseen, just slightly feathering light through the sky.

Steve is dead tired, but he won’t sleep a wink. Once he arrives at his apartment, he begins the project.

A mixed medium piece. Acrylic paint, charcoal shadowed details. It’s a wicker basket, full of apples, grapes, and wildflowers.

-

Later, as the sun rises, and the painting is half done, he flops into bed, finishing up a stale roll from the bakery, and dreams about waking up to you.

He pretends there’s no job to be at in three and a half hours, but instead, that it’s a quiet Sunday, and he’s waking up to you in his arms...

Soft and ethereal.

-

Thank you for reading!

Whether or not this is your type of writing, or you liked it at all, I just want to tag some authors who generally inspire me and helped in some way to motivate me posting my first piece: @threeminutesoflife @imanuglywombat @sherrybaby14 @jtargaryen18 @heavenbarnes @tropicalcap @allaboardthereadingrailroad @thotty-tatertot @sapphirescrolls

[aion-rsa]

Superman & Lois Episode 5 Review: The Best of Smallville

https://ift.tt/3d3qbkS

This Superman & Lois review contains spoilers.

Superman and Lois Episode 5

This is the first episode of Superman & Lois that maybe felt like it was spinning its wheels a little. To be fair, this entire season has been unfolding at what can best be described as a deliberate pace. It’s an understandable decision since the entire concept of this show is meant to take fans of the Superman mythos pretty far out of their comfort zones, so there’s still a lot of heavy lifting that has to get done each week, especially as we get used to the Kent family, the Cushings, the history of Smallville, and more.

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That isn’t to say that “The Best of Smallville” is a bad episode, or a boring one, or even a rote one (it’s way too early for this show to have any kind of real episodic “formula,” other than those big reveals that it saves for the final moments each week). If anything, this shakes things up a little by adding flashbacks to Clark’s teenage years at key moments in the episode. And those, just like everything else relating to Clark’s history on this show, are handled with real care and reverence for everything that has come before. But I can’t help but feel that several of the beats we get in this episode, from Jonathan continuing to lose to the troubled home life of the Cushings, is stuff we’ve already been getting in previous episodes, all while the Morgan Edge story continues to just kind of lurk around the outskirts, just like the character himself.

Fortunately, this is Superman & Lois we’re talking about, and this show’s core four (not to mention its terrific supporting characters) make every moment worth watching. I have already written endlessly about how truly endearing Tyler Hoechlin’s Clark Kent is, and I’ll continue to do so. But there’s one thing Hoechlin does with Clark that I’m not sure I’ve ever seen another Superman actor do quite as effectively, and that’s how he makes Clark’s uncoolness not a put-on or an affectation, but as a genuine component of the “real” Clark Kent.

It’s hard to explain, but hang with me for a minute. It’s generally assumed that any time Clark is being “uncool” or overly earnest about something, it’s part of his “disguise.” And with many actors, especially the legendarily perfect Christopher Reeve, that was absolutely the case. The key to a truly great Clark performance always seems to come in the moments when he lets his guard down, and you realize that this is the “real” person, not the “Clark who has to pretend he isn’t Superman” shine through. Hoechlin does this effortlessly, and as dad-cringe as his entire opening enthusiasm about the Smallville Harvest Festival is, it’s real. He doesn’t have to fake this for his family, it’s really who he is. It’s great and I don’t know how many other leading man types who have played this role over the last 20 years or so who could actually pull this off so easily.

Anyway, that was quite a digression. Sorry about that.

I singled out Jonathan’s struggles this episode for some mild criticism above, if only because we’ve been watching this kid’s life unravel pretty much since the first episode. It is, perhaps, a little TOO convenient that he gets dumped by phone the same moment his brother is setting up his first ever date. And maybe this is the kind of thing they could have saved another episode or so instead of letting it come so soon on the heels of his football struggles.

But both of these kids are just so damn good that it’s tough to fault it. Jordan Elsass makes Jonathan perhaps the most likeable character on this show, even when he should be (as Sarah points out) a completely insufferable jerk. I know there’s speculation out there that Jonathan will be driven to villainy by his pretty ordinary teenage struggles, and I just don’t see it happening. These are both good kids, and even when they screw up, it’s pretty clear that their heads are screwed on straight. I’d just like to see Jonathan catch a break soon, though.

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They’re definitely playing the long game with Jordan, too, and Alex Garfin manages to imbue him with the almost wild-eyed wonder of someone who really just can’t believe his good luck…all without either lording it over or condescending to his suddenly unlucky brother. I’ve always felt that empathy is a secret Kent superpower, and Jordan’s got that by the boatload.

Lois and Chrissy are a surprisingly delightful pairing, and so far this show has managed to resist the rest of the Arrowverse’s tendency to “do a journalism” here, even as we see these two starting to dig a little deeper into whatever Morgan Edge is up to. Still, the fact that Lois literally can’t even write for the Smallville Gazette at the moment isn’t doing my or anyone else’s misgivings that they’re sidelining her any favors. It’s great to see Lois in these other contexts, and Elizabeth Tulloch is nothing short of the best screen Lois this century, but I can’t help but think that there’s something being missed with her story so far. (That being said, her thoroughly annoyed “go faster” to the boys at the Harvest Festival was a terrific, and intimidating fun moment.)

Those flashback sequences, though! Just as I love it that Jon, Jordan, and Sarah are all actually believable as teenagers (coughSmallvillecough), I like that they fully leaned into awkward 15-16 year old beanpole Clark and not some already filled out heartthrob type. Clark leaving home THIS early feels like a slightly new wrinkle for the Superman mythos overall, and I’m especially interested in seeing if we’ll see how some of this developed down the road.

I look forward to seeing Wolé Parks’ Captain Luthor continue to develop, but it would be nice to see if they give him enough screen time soon to give us anything beyond “seething, barely contained rage.” I’m also very curious to see if there’s any nuance they can build into his Lois twist, so that she doesn’t just become another object of fixation for the character. Similarly, it’s time for this story to show us a little more of its hand with the Morgan Edge/X-Kryptonite stuff, because sometimes a slow burn is just a fizzle, y’know?

I appreciate this show’s commitment to its family drama first storytelling, and I get that if we show Superman in action too much it will a) not be as special and b) eat up the FX budget so the moments we DO get won’t look quite as good. But I’d like to see a little more, and I certainly hope that more of Superman’s rogues’ gallery becomes open for business at some point. Yes, I get it, so many of those were utilized on Supergirl already, and I don’t want this show to fall prey to the “villain of the week” tedium that The Flash occasionally slips in to. I’m sure there’s some middle ground that won’t lose what makes this show stand out from its peers.

Metropolis Mailbag

Right out of the gate in this episode we learn that Smallville was established in 1949. It certainly was! While it was clear early in the Superman mythos that he wasn’t from Metropolis, and had grown up on a farm, and Superboy was established as a character in 1945, it wasn’t until 1949 that Clark’s hometown actually got it’s name, in the pages of Superboy #2.

Martha Kent giving Clark the sunstone crystal is a new one. Usually, so much of Clark learning about his heritage is tied exclusively to his father(s). Either the crystal itself calls to him (in which case, it’s Jor-El) or it’s Jonathan telling him the story of how he was found. This is the first time I can think of where it’s Martha really speeding Clark along on his journey to becoming Superman, and it’s about damn time.

On that note, their conversation about Clark being “sent here for a reason” is very much a nod to Glenn Ford’s Pa Kent talking to Jeff East’s young Clark in Superman: The Movie.

I assume he’s leaving here because the sunstone crystal told him to head north so it can build the Fortress of Solitude, but let’s ALSO not forget that Supergirl established early on that Clark was a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes in the future, so…this might be the time!

Spot anything I missed with these Superman Easter eggs? Let me know in the comments!

The post Superman & Lois Episode 5 Review: The Best of Smallville appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[dokidokivisual]

Gochiusa BLOOM episode 2 impressions

The second episode of Gochuumon wa Usagi desu ka? BLOOM is now out, so let’s have a deeper look at some of the content presented in it.

In this episode: learn more about Japanese ghost tropes than you ever wanted to know, and the answer to the perennial question of nature vs nurture.

As usual, I spent a lot of time writing this, so any feedback is welcome.

The episode opens with a scene from Phantom Thief Lapin, an animated TV series for children which exists within Is the order a rabbit? universe (the technical term is “play within a play”, or 劇中劇 in Japanese). I’ve seen some people being confused whether it’s live-action or animated, since it’s not outright stated in the show, but in the manga it is referred to as “anime”. The show is inspired by existing properties featuring mysterious thief protagonist like Magic Kaito and Lupin III.

In the establishing shots of the museum we see bunnified versions of sculptures and artworks like The Thinker, Discobolus, Venus de Milo and Mona Lisa.

Soon, the titular Phantom Thief Lapin appears, and if you listen to the background music, you might recognize it as an instrumental version of the song which was originally released as part of Comiket-exclusive Phantom Thief Lapin set (here’s an old post with some photos of it).

As we see Cocoa and Chino reacting to the episode, the show’s credits can be seen in the background. Unsurprisingly it appears to have the same staff as Gochiusa itself. I was wondering if Aoyama Blue Mountain shows up in the credits as the original author, but she does not, however this fact is mentioned later.

After this “cold open”, we move on to the A part, which is based on chapter 2 of volume 5. We see Chiya trying to convince Sharo to participate in various scary activities with her, with Sharo having none of it. While horror movies are self-explanatory, the other two things are rather Japan-specific.

Hyakumonogatari (百物語) - a ghost story game, where 100 lanterns are lit up, and as each new story is told, a lantern is extinguished. It is said that a real ghost will appear if 100 stories are told, so the participants customarily stop at 99.

Kimodameshi (肝試し) - a test of courage where a scary location is explored. Literally translated as “trial of liver”, liver being associated with bravery for some reason.

You might also notice Chiya being dressed up as a ghost. Japanese ghosts have some specific concepts associated with them, which are well illustrated in this scene.

Shinishozoku (死装束) - a white sheet that a corpse is wrapped in before being buried.

Sankakuzukin (三角頭巾) - “triangle head cloth”, part of the burial costume. Also called 天冠 (tenkan, “heaven crown”). Triangle pointing upwards symbolizes ascent to heaven.

Urameshiya (うらめしや) - a phrase often said by a ghost. Indicates grudge (urami) towards the living. While a ghost holds this grudge, it cannot ascend, and must stalk this world.

Onibi (鬼火) - “demon fire”, a phenomenon (similar to will-o’-the-wisp) of floating blue lights, which are said to represent the souls of the dead. It is never explained how the flames behind Chiya are actually produced.

Soon Maya and Megu are introduced, as “Team Beans”. The name comes from the fact that “mame” means “bean” in Japanese. This nickname was previously used in the name of the group “Petit Rabbit’s with beans”. We also see Cocoa planning something, which is kind of a spoiler for the rest of the story.

Some facts are revealed about Maya and Megu, namely that they’re childhood friends, and the fact that Megu is almost as tall as a giraffe. The official height for Maya and Megu was stated to be 140 and 145 cm respectively, but they seem to be slightly taller here, which might be explained by them growing up?

Rize tries to hit Chiya with water gun but misses every time. This is a reference to season 1 episode 4 where Chiya was able to dodge any ball thrown at her. This supernatural ability is never explained.

Sharo explains to Chiya how she’s grown since the old days and will be the one pulling Chiya forward now. This is related to how Chiya called Sharo a coward in the beginning, which she apparently took to heart. Funnily enough, Sharo still gets scared by a bunch of toy rabbits (and Tippy).

Anyway, it’s revealed that Cocoa was the mastermind behind it all.

And she did is specifically to bring Chiya and Sharo together, which was a great success apparently. “Suspension bridge effect”, anyone?

After this there’s an anime-original bath scene with Cocoa joining Sharo and Chiya in Ama Usa An. Interestingly Cocoa and Sharo used this bath before, in episode 10 of season 1, but not Chiya. Both scenes also touch on Sharo and Chiya’s past, with Cocoa acting as an outside observer. This type of wooden bath called hinokiburo (檜風呂) is considered quite luxurious and can be encountered in upscale ryokans.

We move onto B part, which is an adaptation of chapter 6 of volume 5. Cocoa is good at imitating Phantom Thief Lapin, and we learn that Aoyama Blue Mountain is really the original author of Lapin, which might explain why Lapin looks so much like Sharo. Interestingly in the manga it is mentioned how Sharo actually morally opposed to theft (both in this chapter, and the chapter the first half of the episode is based on), but it was cut in anime.

notsureifintentional.jpg but both parts begin with somebody peeking through the window.

Sharo is apparently really bad at impersonating Lapin, to the point where Inspector is a more popular character among children. However in Sharo’s defense there are plenty of works where the main character is not the most popular character... including Gochiusa itself.

Meanwhile, Cocoa appears to be a natural at this role, and eventually gives a piece of advice to Sharo: it’s not enough to wear Lapin’s costume, you have to become Lapin. Sharo doesn’t own a TV, so she didn’t see much of the show. There’s also another element at play here, namely Sharo always having to pretend to be someone she isn’t in order to fit in at school, and then having to fake smile for customers at her cafe. There’s a running theme of Cocoa not taking Sharo’s words for granted in this episode, which might be related to that. The idea is that children, and very pure-hearted Cocoa, have natural mistrust of Sharo.

The girls gather together to watch the show, and we see a bit more of the Phantom Thief Lapin show (as well as an unnamed “hardcore” show about a gun-toting samurai). It is revealed that the inspector has tragic backstory, which moves Sharo and Rize to tears. Also if you weren’t sure up to now, Sharo’s vow to protect her wife and children confirms that she’s definitely very gay.

In the end Sharo figures out how to do Lapin’s poses exactly like in the show, and thanks Cocoa by giving her Lapin’s mask. Which reminds me, why is it called a mask if it barely conceals anything about the person? Is this some sort of Superman/Clark Kent situation?

Next this episode features, for the first time this season, the ending sequence. It has a bunch of Alice in Wonderland references such as Tippy being the White Rabbit, and Chimame’s outfits. It metaphorically retells the backstory of Chimame (seen in season 2 episode 12) and how Megu and Maya brought Chino out of her shell. At the end the latte art seems like it will be different every episode.

After the ED, we see Sharo showing off her new skills at Fleur du Lapin. Aoyama and her editor Rin can be seen in the background. By the way, what are the chances she named Phantom Thief Lapin after Fleur du Lapin, she seems like a regular there. Anyway, Cocoa comes up seemingly to support Sharo, but ends up stealing the show, guess you can practice all you want, but natural talent wins out at the end of the day.

So that was the second episode, hope you enjoyed the review. Next up it seems we have Maya and Megu going to an open doors’ day at Rize’s school? Let’s see if I can write faster next time...

[popculturebuffet]

The Legion of Super Heroes Reviews: The Legion of Substitute Heroes or Unsung Heroes

Happy 29th Birthday to Me! Yes it’s my birthday which means it’s time for reflection, griping about getting older and cake. And after an exausting weekend of grappling with a growth, i’m not going to go into anymore detail, I can finally, relax celebrate and get back to reviewing. And since i’ts my big day, that means I decided to dedicate today’s reviews to things that mean a hell of a lot to me and in one way or another shaped me as a person. A self indulgant way to reflect on my past, look to the future and show y’all some stuff I really like. So with that out of the way let’s talk about the Legion of Super Heroes.. and their oddball sub team I love dearly. 

This is also my first chance to talk about DC Comics on my blog. I’m honestly shocked that in the year i’ve been reviewing stuff regularly, the other half of the big two superhero comic publishers hasn’t come up. While I do tend to lean towards marvel, in part because Marvel is simply better at collecting their stuff and putting it on sale more often, it’s still the home of some of my faviorite properties: Justice League International, The Green Lanterns (Minus Hal), Teen Titans, Wonder Woman, Oracle, Batgirl (All of them, particularly Steph and Cass), Young Justice, Supergirl, my personal boy The Martian Manhunter.. the list dosen’t go on by much but it indeed goes on. I”ve been reading dc comics since I was in middle school, and I haven’t stopped since and don’t intend to stop now and maybe in the next year I can get around to tackling some of their awesome cartoons and comics more eh? But yeah among these titans, including the actual titans, are the Legion, one of the most unique and awesome super team concepts in my humble opinon and , even for DC, one of the teams with the most tangled up histories. 

First created in the Silver Age by writer Otto Binder and Artist Al Plastino, The Legion of Superheroes is DC”s first successful teen superhero team, predating the titans by a few years, though I dearly love both wildly diffrent teams. The Legion is defined by their high concept: A thousand years into the future, three super teens from diffrent worlds who happened to be on the same ship with billionare RJ Brande, saved Brande from some goons hired by his crooked buisness partner. 

And exposed him. Inspirired by their courage, heart and skill, Brande latter called the three together to form them into a super team, one inspiried by the legends of teen hero Superboy. 

No not Conner though it was nice to get to show off my poster of him. While he was part of the second continuities legion, we’ll get to that, he’s not the superboy we’re looking for. He is damn great though and it’s good to have you back bud. 

Not Jon either, though I do miss this kid’s pre-bendis version and he was the inspiration.. for another version of the legion. (SIGH). Try. AGAIN IMAGE SEARCH. 

...... 

No not the cool bad boy turned troubled good boy, not the child who was inexpciably aged up by that bald smeghead, and not the great idea turned into a editiorial mouthpiece. I���m talking about THIS superboy. 

This is where the name came from: From the silver age till crisis on infinite earths, Clark Kent was active as a kid in smallville, and thus was Superboy, superman when he was a boy. He dealt with similar stories just with Lana replacing Lois, and Luthor as a ginger teenager. And it was these deeds as a teen hero on his own, one of the first honestly, that inspiried the legion and brande and forged the team. 

And it was naturally a super boy story where they were first introduced as the legion’s founders went back to recruit Superboy after putting him through some trials, and were intended as just one of many silver age one off concepts.. but caught on with the readers so much they were brought back, and had their ranks expanded and eventually not only added supergirl, yes the one your thinking of this time, to their ranks, and yes sometimes she and superboy were in the same place at the same time, Clark willingly had founding member and telepath Saturn Girl put a mental block in his head for any info he’s not supposed to know yet so it’s cool . But yeah not only that but they eventually became their own feature in Adventure Comics, where Superboy’s stories were published, but overtook him in popularity with time.  Over time a number of distinct aspects were established: The roster eventually got as large as 20 plus legionarres, almost all from diffrent worlds, and they eventually set up bilaws. Some are silly and dated such as “Legionarres marrying means they retire” which was eventually done away with in the 70′s, but others were simple logic: each member must have a unique power, no using weapons and such which rather than be super power snobbery is so said tech dosen’t fail and the legion later fully allowed Karate Kid, a martial artist, to join, no killing.. just common sense stuff that adds to it. And one of those is the centerpiece to today’s story, which we’ll get to in a moment.  Obviously given they’ve been around since 1958, there is a LOT more to the Legion’s history I will dig into at a later date: The short version is that Crisis on Infinite Earths, Dc’s first big reboot, fucked the team up badly by retconning superboy out of existance and dc editorial made it worse by shooting down EVERY solution the team came up with to fix the issue. So eventually things got so messy they nuked the whole thing during the event Zero Hour and rebooted fresh with Mark Waid taking the helm and updating the concept for the 90′s and being a more lighthearted, if still not without weight, comic in the sea of 90′s edge. Waid would reboot the team again due to sagging sales, a far weaker reason this time, with a more rebllion slant, the original team would be reinstated, and then ended for a while before recently being rebooted by Brian Micheal Bendis... who sadly is long past his creative prime from books like Ultimate Spider-man and alias and is instead stewing in his own toilet dinner these days and thus it’s not pretty.. well okay art wise i’ts VERY pretty, it’s just story wise it sucks dirty ass in thunder storms. There was also an awesome cartoon that sadly lasted only two seasons that I will DEFINTELY be digging into, especially since unlike x-men evolution, it’s not you know 50 some episodes and me biting off way more than I can chew but a slim 26 that still has fans to this day. I”ll get into ALL OF THIS, some ohter time hopefullly and I mostly outlined it since some of you might be familiar with another version or “Sigh” the reboot and this helps clear things up.  So yeah with all that out of the way we’re going back to the silver age and the first story I ever read of hte team, how I met them with “The Legion of Substitute Heroes” and a later subs story I genuinely love. I first read this story in one dc’s old expensive archives collections I got from the library. Oh how I miss the library. Your probably wondering who the legion of susbstite heroes are.. but since the first story covers that we can jump right in after the break!

So we open with a teen in a parka uniform disembarking from a spaceship from another planet, which a passerby notes is just like the airplanes people used to ride from country to country. 

But we meet our hero, Polar Boy, whose in a winter themed outfit and has come to try out. This is the tradition I was saving for now: The Legion Tryouts. Like a club or sports team would, but I like it because it makes sense: The Legion NEEDS to be as big as it is because while their headquartered on earth, their mission scope is anywhere in the united planets which spans GALAXIES. They could be called on any time and need their full force or need to have severa l members on a smaller mission and frequently having members away on a mission was cleverly used to reduce the cast to whoever was needed for the story. 

So it only makes sense to frequently look for new membbers to help strengthen their ranks... but given their teens and are recurting teens they need to be careful and need a logical way to reduce crowd flow. I mean you saw how many people used to line up for american idol before that died a justified death, people will do anything to be famous and they need to weed out those whose powers and skill just aren’t up to snuff yet, or those who are just dicks as, unsuprisingly, several stories have been built on assholes who applied and were rejected turning evil and attacking.. even though the Legion wasn’t even paticuarlly harsh. They also are more than fair as applicants CAN try again or if they prove themselves in other ways can be let in, as Bouncing Boy, my favoirite legionarre, was intially rejected for his power of .. well...

Yeah.. on paper inflating like a ball and bouncing around is kind of silly. In practice he can ricochet off enemies, walls, and obstacles and is fairly durable in that state. It’s why I don’t really brook mocking the guys power: yes it’s goofy.. but say that again when he hands you his ass. It’s the same with matter eater lad who yes is an actual character: While being able to eat anything is gloriously goofy.. it means he can chew through ANY substance and digest ANYTHING. Hell in the cartoon episode intorducing the subs they used both of these guys to great efffect: Bouncing Boy, who in the cartoon had to try out multiple times in his backstory, encouraged the future subs while Matter Eater Lad got in by EATING A FUCKING BOMB. He also had shades which I dind’t know he was missing but now I do. My point is the process is fair and well thought out and leads to some really fun scenes. 

But yeah joining the legion is naturally Polar Boy’s dream, as he walks down the avenue of heroes, basically a series of statues honoring the legion and hopes all his hard work paid off. We then cut to the auditions, where he apparently waited all night. What I like about this story is that unusually for the silver age legion where it was mostly a sea of powers attached to a bunch of cardboard, really the dc silver age in a nutshell and why marvel broke out so much for having more dynamic and realistic characters, Polar Boy has more of a personality. It’s not MUCH but he’s a dedicated, hard working kid who just wants to join his heroes and seems really in awe of htem, a feeling we can all relate to. We’ve all had people we’ve looked up to, admired, and we’ve all had groups we wanted to join as kids, teens or what have you. And of course.. we all know what it’s like to be rejected by someone or something you badly wanted to be a part of.  And that’s what happens to poor polar boy, who comes from a world with an intense sun thus his people developed super cold powers.. but he can’t control them well so while their impressive, they also freeze the legion. HIs powers are good... but due to their strength and radius he’s also a liablility. They give him an consolation anti-gravity belt.. they had these before eventually compressing them into the much cooler flight rings.. which I still desperatly want one of. I have the flash’s costume ring and a green lantern corps ring, but still no legion ring. 

Naturally this devistates the poor boy and he wonders around dispondent till nightfall, convinced he’ll never be one of them. He soon meets Night Girl, a fellow reject with super strength given to her by her dad’s formula.. but only in darkness as she’s from a world without sunlight. She also faces a “hopeless future” but it’s then Polar Boy’s true strength reveals itself: he decides screw giving up on their dream and if they can’t be in the legion they’ll start their own Legion. 

Though not to compete but to serve as a subtistute, in case the legion is ever incapacitated. So Night Girl gathers the other rejects the next morning. Cleverly one of them, Chlorophyll Kid was seen with Night Girl herslef at the tryouts behind Polar Boy. We soon learn about them and each of their origins: Stone Boy can turn himself into an immobile stone statue, as his world has half a year long nights and thus his people hybernate, Fire Lad who can spit hot fire literally and set anything combustable on fire and Chlorphyll Kid who can make plants grow rapidly. Each were rejected for resonable powers: Stone Boys powers too static, Fire Lad’s is too dangerous and Chorlpyl Kids toos pecific. But upon seeing all of this Polar Boy says they STILL have fantastic powers and still can help people and the legion. 

Thus the Legion of Substittue Heroes is born. And I love them as much as the originals. As a bit of a misfit myself I relate to these guys: They have strange specific powers, got rejected by the big team.. while that trope is nothing new at the time it was unique and even now it’s a nice and inspiring message. Instead of giving up they form their OWN team to do what htey can anyway. They might not be the best like the legion but they can still help and still do what’s right even if not on their scale. It’s a great concept and really makes them endearing. Again I have a thing for the underdogs but I still really like these guys. It’s why it annoys me they got kind of spat on with time: While I love Keith Giffen and Paul Levitz run on the legion, and feel it’s the best of that contnuinty it’s not without fault and the two basically spent a full issue mocking the team and split polar boy off from them before making their own subs with only ONE of the originals. It just felt.. disrspectful. And so far no continuity has used them again until the recent bendis run, which has them announced for the Future Slate special. It took BENDIS, who dosen’t get how to use the team properly and is up his own ass, to bring them back in a new continuity and I find that obnoxious. The subs are a great concept and deserve to be honored as such and as such are one of my favorite superhero teams. 

But their careers don’t start well as they doubt themslves, except for Polar Boy who boisters them along, and constnatly just end up going to missions the legion already has covered and when the legion go to fight some robot ships, they refuse the subs help.. which is fair though, as Brainy puts it they can’t risk putting untrained volunteers in harms way. Their about to just quit, in a really sad moment.. when CK, because I can’t spell cholophill and hate having to use spell check notices some odd seeds spread about.. and when he grows one a horrifying tree man shows up. They struggle with it till the setting son finishes it’s job, meaning Night Girl is at full power and whollops it and the subs spend the night destroying the seeds.  They  find out the next day the seeds came from the same planet as the robot ships, meaning the ships are a distraction for whoevers doing this and since they can’t just call earth, as the full force of the legion is needed with the robots and all it’d do is cause a panic, it’s down to them. Night Girl however is scared.. and I like that. It shows that while their regaining their confidence.. it’s sitll risky. Their a bunch of barely trained fanboys, and girl, going up against an alien invasion, with it down to them. They CAN save the world but it’s alright to be entirely terrified when your thrust into it this fast. 

They make their way to the planet, having built a ship earlier and lie low, finding out what’s going on: The plant men are fully intellegent, and grow themselves..though how they know to attack and go to the bathrom and what not out of the seed I don’t know but I assume it’s a genetic thing or they might be some form of hive mind. point is the seed plan is to grow troops all over the world via rockets for an invasion, and it’s a brilliant concept for one too. Aliens who simply GROW the troops right into battle, born with the knowledge to do so, and right where they can ambush them. It’s down to our heroes and Stone Boy, whose been the most pesemistic, valiantly dives in to provide a distraction so they can destroy the factory and the seeds. Turns out he is useful as the most the treeple have is a space lead pipe.. yes really. I love the silver age. But they’ll bring ray guns soon, so Stone BOy knows it’s a suicide mission and now our heroes have a timer. But luckily.. our heroes are stronger than they think. Night Girl punches a way in till Night passes, while Polar Boy and Flame Lad use their powers in concert to make an opneing.. but with time running out Polar Boy finishes things by having CK grow all the seeds now they have acess.. thus exploding the planets population, destroying several cities from the number of bodies, and thu discourguing the treeple from trying again. Stone boy is able to flee with the rest of our heroes and the day is saved. 

The heroes opt not to tell the public, as to take away glory for the Legion. It’s a noble gesture.. they do DESERVE credit, but they choose not to take it, preferring to let the legion get theres for stil lsaving the world from the robots. They stand firm, now confident they may someday make it to the big leagues.And it’s this that really makes me love them: Thier not the strongest or best, but they try anyway for the reasons a hero should: to help people, and not for the glory. THey remain unsung heroes and are fine with that.  Eventually the Legion WOULD find out about them, but naturally instead of being dickheads about it, fully accepted them, even offering them some contests for membership, but that’s a story for another day. THey’d remain stalwart allies and valuable backup in crisis situations for years to come until the bollocks outlined above. But they’d never leave my heart and thanks to them.. the legion never left either. 

Final Thoughts:  While I do love the story for it’s personal signifigance to me, It’s stilll a really good story for the time. A bit stilted as was the style, but still good, well paced and with an endaring cast of underdogs who prove themselves in the end. It’s something diffrent from the usual clean cut ahead in life wasps these stories usually followed at the time. While the team’s still all white and all that, their outcasts and misfits who just want to help and have trouble beliving in themselves. Their a good standard to live up to.. and a good inspiration for me and my constnatly self hating self doutbing self. And I hope you enjoyed htem too.  If you’d like to comission your own review, just dm me. It’s 5 bucks for individual issues. Later days. 

[godstaff]

Kent family watches the Incredibles movies

Clark: Well, guys: due to the pandemic, the JL has restricted the amount of operatives in the field, so Mommy and I will spend the day with our family. Do you know any of them? Where are they?

Aster: We’re here, Dad! We are your family!

Selene: He’s joking, you Goblin!

Aster: Shut up, “Big Larda”!

Diana: That’s enough! Both of you!

Clark: Mom is right: stop it now, or there won’t be ice-cream for anybody! I mean it. No more name calling, okay?

Selene: But, Daddy: aren’t we immune to this Covid stuff?

Diana: We are, Lena, but Dad and I have a duty to set an example to others. We are privileged, but we need to see the bigger picture.

Clark: Besides, we must not parade our immunity in front of much vulnerable people. It would seem like laughing in their faces. Even if we’re impervious, we can carry the virus with us and transmit it to the folks we come in contact with. 

Diana: We can’t deliver the wrong message.

Selene: Okay. Why don’t we end the problem once and for all?

Diana: May be we can, but we have to give humanity the chance to try and solve their problems themselves. As Daddy says: “we can’t carry them straight to the top, we can only...”

Selene and Aster: “...help them up when they trip and fall.”

Clark: Exactly. And accompany them in their journey. In this cases, we intervene when things get way out of hand, or they will start to depend on us for anything and stop thinking for themselves.

Aster: Is it bad not thinking for ourselves?

Diana: Thinking for yourself is the best way to really learn. Let you to think for yourself is the best gift anybody can give you. Daddy and I can teach you a lot of things, but it is up to you and your analysis of those things to create your own personality and knowledge. Imagine your head is a library and Dad and me are filling it with books, all kinds of books: if you can’t think for yourself, there won’t be any organization. You are the librarian who organizes everything in your personal order, to connect those books with others of the same content. So far, you need guidance. The day will come when you get good at it, and won’t need any help. When people learn to think for themselves, it will come a time, perhaps, when they won’t need our help.

Clark: It doesn’t matter if you don’t completely understand all this right now: just remember what you can. In time you’ll find out the meaning.

Aster: I’ll try, Daddy. Lena: did you find out yet?

Selene: What I’ve found out so far is it takes a lifetime to do it. The important thing is keep on trying. It’s like having a baby brother: it sucks, but you get used to it. You may even enjoy it sometimes.

Clark: Enough with the learning moment. What you say we have a marathon of movies and junk food?

Diana shot a disapproving look in Clark’s direction.

Clark (with an apologetic tone): Just for today...?

Diana: Just for today.

Clark, Selene and Aster: Yaaay!

Clark: What do you want to watch?

A battle of propositions and rejections followed, from “that is too childish” to “ugh! That’s a girl’s movie!”. Until Clark said:

Clark: What if we start with “The Incredibles”? I’ve heard it’s funny and not entirely for kids. Besides, they could be us.

Selene: I’ve seen the first, I was your age back then, but not the sequel. It’s truly funny, and realistically shows the pain of having two baby brothers, emphasis on “baby”. Count me in.

Aster: I’ve seen both, but I don’t mind watching them again. 

Diana: All set, then: “The Incredibles” 1 and 2 it is.

Clark: I’ll make the popcorn. Lena: a hand, please?

Selene: Sure, Dad.

Aster: Bring me a soda!

Selene: Of course, “my Liege”. Move it and get it yourself!

Aster: Mom!

Clark: C’mon, Len, we’re already here. Let get sodas for everyone.

Selene: Ugh! I swear I’m gonna kill him one of these days!

The movie started and Clark asked:

Clark: Do I look like that?

Diana: Don’t be so self aware: it’s a cartoon. Besides, you’re not blond, thank Hera!

Clark: I’ll double my workout routine, beginning tomorrow.

Selene and Aster: Shhhh!

Diana (whispering in Clark’s ear): Please tell me I don’t have that enormous ass.

Clark (also whispering): Of course not!

Selene and Aster: Shhhhhhhhhh! We still can hear you!

Diana and Clark: Sorry!

Selene (pressing pause): Doesn’t the villain remain you of Luthor? Minus the hair, that is.

Clark: Believe it or not, Lex had red hair too before losing it.

Aster: Dad: what do you think of capes?

Clark: I’m in favor, of course. It’s not that terrible, once you learn to deal with them. And they look majestic while flying. But you will have to decide for yourselves. Granddad Jor wore capes, and so did the fathers of aunts Karen and Kari, my uncles Zor from both Kryptons. It’s tradition.

Diana: And Grandmamá Lyta wears one for ceremonial purposes

Aster: And masks? What do you think of masks? They look cool.

Diana: Your Dad didn’t wear them because he wanted people to trust him. It would be a pity to cover that handsome face (smiling at Clark)

Clark (smiling back at her): When  Mommy and I got together, the double personality made no sense anymore. We were not hiding our love to the World, and, if we did, Superman and Wonder Woman and Diana Prince and Clark Kent were two very similarly looking couples: tall, black hair, athletic build, etc.

Diana: People are not stupid: they would’ve connected the dots in no time, so we came clean. And it was a good thing to do: now we have time for our family, instead of wasting it in a job or trying to make another life as a civilian. 

Clark: In fact, it’s very liberating not to hide half of the time, although I miss the office sometimes. 

Diana: Look at uncles Bruce and Richard and the Robins: all, except Jason, have to work twice as much, and none of them have a real job.

Clark: Besides, just look at your sister: blue hair, 6′7″, a complete and total Kryptonian Amazon...and, before you say a word, you’ll be no different: as tall as her, if not taller, and the same build. You only lack the blue hair.

Aster: Why does she have...?

Selene: Are we done? Can we continue with the movie?

Aster: It was you who pressed “pause”.

Selene: Well: I’m done. Are you?

Aster: Yeah.

At the end of the first movie, everyone stood up and went to do their things.

Clark: Okay, people, the intermission is 15 minutes. Stretch your legs, if you have to.

Aster: It was very cool. 

Selene: See? It’s not important how much we squabble, if we’re united when it matters.

Aster (coming back from the bathroom): Mom: Why does Lena have blue hair?

Diana: Dad and I are the first couple of our kind, therefore, you both are the first of your species. It was predictable you would have some genetic peculiarities. There was some magic involved in your conception, don’t forget Daddy is from another world. Don’t get me wrong: we made sure you two will not come out as strange beings, with two heads and all that.

Aster: It would have been cool to have two heads!

Diana: Mmmmno. We’d had love you all the same, though. Anyway, Lena was the first, and her hair is proof of that. You two are special, only in her case, she showed it immediately. Don’t sweat: you can still grow a second head.

Aster (enthusiastically): Really?

Diana (throwing herself over her son): Naaah!

Selene: Don’t talk about me behind my back! It’s not polite. I can hear you, you know?. Superhearing, remember?

Diana: I’ll have to teach you both sign language, so we can keep some secrets in our family. 

Selene: You know sign language?

Diana: And Braille writing and reading. So does Dad. There’s also a language based on small taps on the other people’s hand, for those unfortunate who lost both, sight and hearing, called Tactile Signing. If we want to help, we must be able to communicate with everyone, back and fore.

Selene: I want to learn! I’m starting tomorrow!

Diana: How about you, Ast? Your sis is giving you the chance of starting early.

Aster: I would hate she talking to you and me not understanding it. I’m in.

Clark: Two minutes and the show will continue!

Once everybody was sitting, the second part began. Half way to the projection, it was Aster who pressed pause.

Aster: Mom, Dad: do you need to have a job?

Clark: We don’t really need it. Mommy and I can get anything we need, and so will you someday. We could have one, if we want it, but our work protecting humanity and raising you takes precedence.

Diana: Dad and I can find all kinds of minerals men consider precious and extract it with our bare hands.

Selene: If they want it, they can be richer that Luthor, Mr. Terrific and uncle Bruce combined.

Clark: But the pursue of riches is not a priority. Some time back, Mommy and I designed the basics for nuclear fusion based energy supply, which is sustaining our home, the rest of the Fortress and some parts of Themyscira. We gave the blueprints to Mr. Holt and uncle Bruce, so they could adapt it for human usage. Mr. Holt wanted to make it into a business, but uncle Bruce and I prevented it. It wasn’t an evil thing what Michael wanted to do, from a mundane perspective, but if the whole planet was going to benefit of the findings, we better let corporations and businesses out of the picture, We convinced him with only two words: “Fair Play”. 

Diana: Lex hated us: he lost a ton of money and four of his energy corporations rolled the curtains down definitely. We made sure the employees left without a job, were absorbed by Wayne Enterprises and Holt Industries.

The movie continued. At some point, Selene interrupted it.

Selene. Mom, Dad: is it so easy to take over somebody’s mind, like in the movie?

Diana: Depends on whose mind. If the person is in need of something or lacking other things, like Elastigirl here, it’s easier to invade someone’s mind, the invaders has to take advantage of the weaknesses of that person. If Dad or any of you are in some peril, my state of mind will be compromised and I would constitute an easy target.

Selene: How can we prevent that kind of happenstances? Specially in our particular situation.

Clark: Being very careful, knowing all the time the others are safe. That’s why is so important to be always in communication with each other.

Diana: It’s not invasion of privacy, it’s just caution. We won’t stop you from living your life, we won’t use tracers or any kind of location devices: we are asking you to keep us informed. You’ll understand when you have children of your own.

Clark: There are individuals with immense power no mind can resist, like Maxwell Lord...

Selene: Who is that?

Diana: No longer a problem.

Clark: ...in those cases, we have to be patient and look for an opening. There’s always a mistake these people make: too confident and underestimating their opponent. There’s always, in the back of your mind, a vestige of consciousness. And Mommy’s Lasso of Truth will protect its bearer and it can reverse the process in others.

Selene: I see. But there’s always a risk.

Diana: Our occupation is always a risk. We must be prepared. Even if you don’t want to follow our steps, problems will reach you because of who you are, I’m sorry. It’s like being the offspring of someone very rich: there’s always a virtual target on your backs.

Clark: But life is beautiful and worth living, don’t let potential dangers take that away. People in other situations than ours are also in other kind of perils. Is a constant no living being can escape.

Diana: Animals in the wild are always at the mercy of predators. 

Clark: Ours are just another kind of predators.

Selene: I think I get the idea, but I have to ruminate on it.

Clark: Sure, baby. Take your time.

Diana: We are here for any question.

Selene: Thank you. Let’s finish the movie, please. Hey, Astroboy! Wake up!

Aster: Uh? Are we done?

Selene: Welcome to the land of the living.

Aster: Can we finish the movie now?

[brianno-mango]

The two times you met him — Damian x Reader

Fandom: DC comics

Pairing: Damian x Reader

Request: none

Notes: this is a modified version of a fic I wrote on another platform.

Warnings: possible grammar errors. Mildly bad language?

Summary: you are from another planet and Superman took you in. The first time you met Damian was at school, and you didn't exactly like each other. The second time was in the watchtower, where you picked up a fight.

Y/N: Your name

P/N: Your planet’s name

Y/L/N: Your last name

C/N: codename

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

You were nervous. And who could blame you? You had only been on earth for a couple of weeks.

You come from P/N, a planet that was destroyed by a war, a war bigger than any other. There were wealthy people, who weren’t at all affected by this. You were not one of them.

Eventually, someone developed a machine that could teleport anyone out of the planet. You, without a family or any chance of surviving, decided to steal it.

And that’s how you were found by the justice league.

You had limited telepathy, which you used to learn their language. You also had telekinesis, flying ability, laser eyes, you had the almost the same powers as Superman, which was why he decided to take you in as his apprentice. “Of course, you can come to my home, though I’ll have a lot to explain to Lois...”

Jon was ecstatic when he met you. “What’s your name?—Do you really have telekinesis?—Which planet did you come from?—What is your favorite color?—I always wanted a sister!”

You were a little overwhelmed by his fast-talking, but eventually you started talking in the same way with him. You quickly became friends.

But of course, after some weeks, you had to go to school. You had something like that on P/N, but you didn’t know what to expect on earth.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I’m sure you’ll make lots of friends in no time!” Lois told you during dinner.

“Um...what’s the meaning of that word?” You asked, since you hadn’t leaned the complete language. After Jon explained, you felt more curious about this concept.

“Do you have friends, Jon?” You asked.

“Yeah, there’s Kathy, Alan, Damian—Ah, now that think about it, Damian is your classroom.” He replied.

“And how is he?”

“Well, he’s not exactly friendly, but you’ll like him.”

The next day was your first day of school, and there wasn’t much to it. You finished the assignments quickly, and after you did, you just started doodling on the back of your notebooks.

You found it nice to draw the justice league members, Superboy, and even Robin.

You had only seen Robin once, on a newspaper photo along with Superboy. Still, you liked him a little, and drew him various times. Jon said you’d meet him soon, since you were most likely going to join them on patrol.

Jon wanted to introduce you, so at lunchtime, he took you to the seats next to the football field, where Damian was reading a book quietly.

“Hey Damian, this is my friend Y/N.” He said. “Hello, nice to meet you Damian.” You politely said as you extended your hand.

Damian eyed you head to toe. Then returned his gaze to his book.

“...pleasure.” He said blankly, leaving your hand hanging and your head confused. Let’s just say, you two didn’t talk much that day.

You were still completely unaware of his second persona. You already knew Bruce Wayne’s identity, and you probably would’ve figured that Damian Wayne = Robin, if you knew his last name was Wayne.

One day, Clark took you and Jon to the watchtower, to introduce you as a new vigilante, C/N.

All the league members entered the meeting room and Superboy separated from the group. That left you and Robin, while he was typing on a mini weird computer thing. You didn’t really recognize each other.

“So...what are you doing?” You asked to iníciate conversation. Damian glanced at you, then back at the screen. “It’s not of your business.”

“I mean, I know, but-“

He cut you off. “Who the hell are you anyway? I don’t recall Kent having a ‘sis’ as he called you.”

“Well, we aren’t blood related, but his dad took me in so...I guess we are kinda like siblings now?”

Damian thought about that. Knowing both his father and Superman, he didn’t doubt that they would want you to join his and Jon’s team, so, he wanted to test your abilities.

He walked a little far from you and threw a batarang, which you dodged. “What the hell was that for?!” You shouted, but he didn’t stop.

Soon, you two were already a mess full of yeeting and punching and kicking, until you managed to pin him to the ground.

“Okay, mind explaining now?” You said panting. “TT, I see you aren’t so bad after all.” He stated, confusing you even more. You both turned to a door, where Jon was standing.

He rapidly understood what was happening. “Damian, did you seriously pick up a fight with Y/N? Okay, you know what? It’s not that surprising.”

You turned to each other again.

“You are Damian?!”

“You are Y/N?!”

Jon chucked. “Whoops, guess I forgot to tell you...heh heh...”

“You. Are. Dead.” You and Damian told him at the same time.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 6

Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:

Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.

Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.

And so, the journey continues...

Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...

Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.

“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”

“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”

“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”

Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.

Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.

Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.

The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.

“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”

On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.

“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”

“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”

“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”

“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”

“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”

“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”

And so, they both just kinda... stand there.

“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”

Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.

“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”

“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”

“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”

Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.

“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”

“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”

“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”

It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.

“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”

Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.

Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.

It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”

Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.

Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.

“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”

“this is the last straw.

i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”

“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”

“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”

The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.

“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”

“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”

Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.

“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”

“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”

I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.

This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.

Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.

“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”

“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”

“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”

“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”

“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”

“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”

“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that

i...

i larp.”

“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”

“.....................................im super into realism.”

“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”

As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.

“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”

“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”

“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”

Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.

“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”

“a westaboo?”

“westaboo?”

“did he just unironically say westaboo”

“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”

“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”

Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...

“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”

“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”

“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”

“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”

“sure!”

“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”

“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”

“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”

“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”

“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”

“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”

“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”

“for the cause!”

“yes hibiki... for the cause...”

Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.

“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”

“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”

“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”

“HOLY SHIT”

“you are already”

“dead.”

[dgcatanisiri]

The key to any good adaption is understanding a certain set of things.

1. Don’t be afraid to update the source material. Yes, even if it’s “timeless.”

All media is a product of its time, so you need to recognize that what worked for the original will not necessarily translate for the new audience. If a basic conceit of your product is a certain societal mindset is the norm (just, for example, that “homosexuality is inherently bad,” or “transgender people are inherently hilarious,” or “a woman’s place is unquestionably in the home”), you’re probably best off just packing it in then and there, it’s not going to work. Society evolves, times change, and while we can let these things slide for media that is older, we do not extend this same slack to media made now.

There’s a reason that a lot of stagings of something like Taming of the Shrew, or more modern adaptations like Kiss Me Kate or 10 Things I Hate About You, will often twist what is, on the page, Kate’s “tameness” being a show for the sake of winning the wager, that she is merely performing what is expected of her, while still maintaining her own independence and attitude, and that she has learned that she could use this performance to make Petruchio do as she wanted, or even that the both of them are in on it and have found an equal in the other - in the 15th century, “taming” a “shrew” was considered how one was supposed to be, that a woman was supposed to be subservient to her husband, and that her being so brash and bold from the start was already pushing the values of Shakespeare’s original audience. 

And this is the case of adapting something even as recent as ten, fifteen, twenty years ago - society has changed, and it’s recognized that what was seen as acceptable then was actually punching down at marginalized groups. That’s not funny. Comedy is the quickest genre to age, and the most likely to age poorly. Look at any given 90s romcom and you’ll notice a LOT of issues - the heteronormativity, where no one is gay (aside from MAYBE a single token character), the cast is mostly white - there may, at most, be a black best friend who may or may not be paired up with someone who literally exists for the purpose of arm candy, and you might spot an extra or two in the background, and they’ll use words that we now recognize as slurs so casually you’ll have to go back to realize yeah, they actually said that. And that’s not even scratching the surface.

When it comes to coming to an old piece of media and deciding “I want to do this again,” you absolutely MUST recognize what is no longer acceptable. And if the baseline concept of your selected media is something unacceptable, put aside the dream, this will not end well for you if you attempt to go through with it.

2. Recognize what works and what doesn’t for your medium.

This is something more for straightforward adaptations - book to movie, movie to TV show, stage to screen, etc. A change in medium is going to require a change to the material. It just is. This is why, for example, straight adaptations of video games are extremely hard to pull off - you’re changing an interactive media to a noninteractive one, and, in a lot of cases, that guts the core investment. It’s one thing to play Lara Croft as she raids the tombs, doing the platforming and puzzle challenges yourself. But as a movie, just taking any given game and making a direct 1:1 reshoot, you’re basically just watching her do the same thing with no involvement yourself, and, as a result, you end up watching a glorified cutscene.

It’s the same with stage to screen. Theatre is a medium of its own, with its own internal logic, rules, and structure. In theatre, a character can address the audience, it’s accepted. It doesn’t quite work as well on screen. (For further expansion, there’s a segment of Lindsay Ellis’s video essay on Mel Brooks and The Ethics of Satire that discusses how this works for the stage version of The Producers, but fizzled out in the 2006 film adaptation.) This is often a problem in film adaptations of stage musicals, that the directors don’t know what to focus on or how to film a large group of people, dancing and singing, so, while there’s some general competence, a lot of the film directors don’t have the same eye for them that they would in a straightforward dialogue-driven movie. Stopping the dramatic interaction between two people for what is, in effect, a symbolic struggle as they exchange heated high notes throws off the momentum of a director who knows how to stage the actors and move the camera in a direct argument, but gets confused when both parties dance across the soundstage all through the scene.

Likewise, books allow the audience to understand what is going through a character’s head during a scene, we are able to hear their thoughts and recognize what they’re doing without the character ever speaking a word. That is a luxury film’s nature doesn’t offer. Voice overs are a frequent way around this, but that too is limiting, generally forcing the film into a single viewpoint, which may not be how the narrative was structured. So this is where establishing dialogue has to be included.

This can be a problem, though, as the screenwriter may have a different style than the original writer, so, instead of transplanting dialogue, they have to come up with their own words, which can often end up just being an exposition dump. It can be done, but it is a tightrope walk.

3. Understand what can and can’t be cut.

A frequent problem of adaptations, especially to film, is that they are drawing on source material that maybe be, in a direct, 1:1 adaptation of the original, too long for a modern adaptation. This is a frequent issue with the Harry Potter adaptations, for example, where to cover all of the events of just the first book, would probably have clocked in at three and a half, even four hours, and they only got longer from there. Some things just had to go.

Which is a problem, because for the most part, if something is in the source material, it is there for a reason. Foreshadowing, character establishment, worldbuilding, whatever, there is a reason that any content is included in the first place. 

So you need to find ways to either condense or work around things - going back to Harry Potter, as a character, while he’d had his uses in the books, Peeves’s contribution to the overall tapestry of the series was small enough that he could be removed. Same with a character like Professor Binns, whose largest contribution was the exposition of the Chamber of Secrets, could have that shunted over to a character like Professor McGonagall, with no need to hire another actor for one scene and account for this character later (this later came into play with characters like Professor Trelawney, who appeared in all the books after her introduction, but not every film). 

The runtime makes a difference, especially given how much we see movies try to have as many showing per day as they can - the shorter the film, the more times it can be shown. So you need to know what can go and what can be condensed. 

But this can backfire - cutting a scene can often remove important context and characterization, even if it’s short or small. Star Trek, the 09 film, cut a scene between young James Kirk and his older brother. Now, it’s not really that important in this adaptation that Kirk has an older brother, so on paper, yeah, this scene getting cut made sense. BUT this scene featured Kirk’s older brother walking out because of the abuse being inflicted on them by “Uncle Frank,” and how he intended to sell their father’s car, how Frank was denying James Kirk a sense of being who he was, telling him “You’re no one.” This is what leads to the reckless theft of said car that did make it into the final cut, and made that joyride less into a moment of “fuck the man, I do what I want,” and more of a moment of declaration of him trying to find himself (and makes this kid shouting to the robo-cop “My name is James Tiberius Kirk!” less of a cutesy way of getting in the character’s full name and more a way of, again, showing him declaring who he is.) It also shows James Kirk’s desire for justice and fairness for people, a VERY important element for this character, showing him standing up for his older brother, ostensibly someone who should be standing up for him instead. This is a pretty big characterization moment that got cut, presumably because the casual audience didn’t know that Kirk had an older brother.

I realize that this is using a cut scene from the film script and not a direct adaptation, but I think that’s an important thing to bring up anyway, given that Star Trek 09 was an adaptation of a three year TV series - of course they had to condense, launch arcs that successive movies could pick up, all of that. But they still needed to establish these characters. By cutting this scene, you lose that core nugget of Kirk’s character, and we’re left with reckless asshole Kirk, the character a lot of people thought didn’t deserve the center chair by the end of the movie because moments like this didn’t make the final cut.

Know your story, know your characters, and understand how to keep their core identities while still cutting the things you can’t keep, because of medium changes or runtime concerns.

4. What new elements are you bringing to the table?

If you’re making a new adaptation of something, WHY are you making it? What is the benefit of not just a new version of old material, but even what makes YOU the correct storyteller?

Let’s give another example here. Let’s say that I am given the green light to go for a new adaptation of... oh, let’s say Superman’s early years, we’re ten years out from the end of Smallville, surely someone’s gonna start kicking that around eventually, let’s go with it here and now. My requirements are to keep the baseline of Smallville for a new show - high school Clark Kent, no flights, no tights to start with, developing, growing powers, friendship with Lex Luthor, same core cast to start with (so Clark, Pete, Chloe, Lana, Whitney, Lex, Lionel, Martha, and Jonathan), basically start the series fresh from the point of the original series’s pilot. How I go from there is up to me, re: how much/how little to incorporate from later in the series, when powers develop and in what order, when to introduce other characters... I just basically have to start fresh with the same components of Smallville that the original had.

So when given these components, I feel it is my obligation to create a new picture with them, because to just retread the old material, updates to the time and cast notwithstanding, is saying I don’t see this as worth doing anything different. And if that’s the case, why bother? It is incumbent on me to do different things with these pieces - maybe in this version, Lana’s a lesbian and dating Chloe, which mostly puts to bed the Clark-Lana relationship (or maybe she briefly uses Clark as a beard to cover her attraction). Whitney can become a part of the core cast, instead of being like the only opening credits characters who never learns Clark’s secret. Pete’s known about Clark’s powers for years. The meteor freaks ...okay, no, I’m calling them ‘metahumans’ from the start here, are going to be a more persistent element to the central struggle - none of the convenient karmic killing, Clark has to deal with the consequences of these characters having enhanced abilities, not just have them conveniently fall down and break their neck or something. Lex ends up brought into the core group, and it becomes a central conflict of his character arc that he may actually have the potential to not be the ultimate villain - this is an adaptation, it’s entirely possible that Lex being the bad guy is NOT a foregone conclusion, especially if one wants to take the moral of “nothing is written in stone, there is no fate.”

...shit, now I actually WANT to do this version...

See, that’s taking the same pieces and making a new picture with them. Because if you’re just going to redo the original, just let the original air in place of your new thing, because you have made no effort to change anything other than the bare minimum. Hell, even Smallville brought something new to the table by creating Chloe Sullivan, who did not exist in Superman media before, but has since appeared sporadically in the comics. 

Don’t just tell the same old story to tell the same old story. Bring something new to the table. If you’re really lucky, you may just add something that becomes so definitive to the franchise, when people talk about it later, they’ll wonder why it wasn’t there to begin with - another DC hero example, look at Batman the Animated Series, without which we would not have either Harley Quinn or Victor Fries’s tragic backstory, yet now both are considered iconic and core to the franchise and the character, respectively.

[thecomicsnexus]

Jimmy Olsen, Superman's Pal, Brings Back the Newsboy Legion!

SUPERMAN’S PAL, JIMMY OLSEN #133 OCTOBER 1970 BY JACK KIRBY, AL PLASTINO AND VINCE COLLETTA

SYNOPSIS (FROM DC WIKIA)

Jimmy Olsen is paired with the new Newsboy Legion, the sons of the original boy heroes plus Flippa-Dippa, a newcomer, to investigate the Wild Area, a strange community outside of Metropolis. 

The boys are given a super-vehicle called the Whiz Wagon for transport. When Clark Kent shows concern for Jimmy, Morgan Edge, owner of Galaxy Broadcasting and the new owner of the Daily Planet, secretly orders a criminal organization called Inter-Gang to kill him. But Kent survives the attempt, and later hooks up with Jimmy and the Newsboy Legion in the Wild Area. 

The youths have met the Outsiders, a tribe of young people who live in a super-scientific commune called Habitat, and have won leadership of the Outsiders' gang of motorcyclists. Jimmy and company go off in search of a mysterious goal called the Mountain of Judgment, and warn Superman not to stop them.

THE BRONZE AGE OF COMICS

The Bronze Age retained many of the conventions of the Silver Age, with traditional superhero titles remaining the mainstay of the industry. However, a return of darker plot elements and story lines more related to relevant social issues, such as racism, drug use, alcoholism, urban poverty, and environmental pollution, began to flourish during the period, prefiguring the later Modern Age of Comic Books.

There is no one single event that can be said to herald the beginning of the Bronze Age. Instead, a number of events at the beginning of the 1970s, taken together, can be seen as a shift away from the tone of comics in the previous decade.

One such event was the April 1970 issue of Green Lantern, which added Green Arrow as a title character. The series, written by Denny O'Neil and penciled by Neal Adams, focused on "relevance" as Green Lantern was exposed to poverty and experienced self-doubt.

Later in 1970, Jack Kirby left Marvel Comics, ending arguably the most important creative partnership of the Silver Age (with Stan Lee). Kirby then turned to DC, where he created The Fourth World series of titles starting with Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #133 in October 1970. Also in 1970 Mort Weisinger, the long term editor of the various Superman titles, retired to be replaced by Julius Schwartz. Schwartz set about toning down some of the more fanciful aspects of the Weisinger era, removing most Kryptonite from continuity and scaling back Superman's nigh-infinite—by then—powers, which was done by veteran Superman artist Curt Swan together with groundbreaking author Denny O'Neil.

The beginning of the Bronze Age coincided with the end of the careers of many of the veteran writers and artists of the time, or their promotion to management positions and retirement from regular writing or drawing, and their replacement with a younger generation of editors and creators, many of whom knew each other from their experiences in comic book fan conventions and publications. At the same time, publishers began the era by scaling back on their super-hero publications, canceling many of the weaker-selling titles, and experimenting with other genres such as horror and sword-and-sorcery.

The era also encompassed major changes in the distribution of and audience for comic books. Over time, the medium shifted from cheap mass market products sold at newsstands to a more expensive product sold at specialty comic book shops and aimed at a smaller, core audience of fans. The shift in distribution allowed many small-print publishers to enter the market, changing the medium from one dominated by a few large publishers to a more diverse and eclectic range of books.

JACK KIRBY

In 1968 and 1969, Joe Simon was involved in litigation with Marvel Comics over the ownership of Captain America, initiated by Marvel after Simon registered the copyright renewal for Captain America in his own name. According to Simon, Kirby agreed to support the company in the litigation and, as part of a deal Kirby made with publisher Martin Goodman, signed over to Marvel any rights he might have had to the character.

At this same time, Kirby grew increasingly dissatisfied with working at Marvel, for reasons Kirby biographer Mark Evanier has suggested include resentment over Lee's media prominence, a lack of full creative control, anger over breaches of perceived promises by publisher Martin Goodman, and frustration over Marvel's failure to credit him specifically for his story plotting and for his character creations and co-creations. He began to both write and draw some secondary features for Marvel, such as "The Inhumans" in Amazing Adventures volume two, as well as horror stories for the anthology title Chamber of Darkness, and received full credit for doing so; but in 1970, Kirby was presented with a contract that included such unfavorable terms as a prohibition against legal retaliation. When Kirby objected, the management refused to negotiate any contract changes. Kirby, although he was earning $35,000 a year freelancing for the company, subsequently left Marvel in 1970 for rival DC Comics, under editorial director Carmine Infantino.

Kirby spent nearly two years negotiating a deal to move to DC Comics, where in late 1970 he signed a three-year contract with an option for two additional years. He produced a series of interlinked titles under the blanket sobriquet "The Fourth World", which included a trilogy of new titles — New Gods, Mister Miracle, and The Forever People — as well as the extant Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen. Kirby picked the latter book because the series was without a stable creative team and he did not want to cost anyone a job. The three books Kirby originated dealt with aspects of mythology he'd previously touched upon in Thor.

 The New Gods would establish this new mythos, while in The Forever People Kirby would attempt to mythologize the lives of the young people he observed around him. The third book, Mister Miracle was more of a personal myth. The title character was an escape artist, which Mark Evanier suggests Kirby channeled his feelings of constraint into. Mister Miracle's wife was based in character on Kirby's wife Roz, and he even caricatured Stan Lee within the pages of the book as Funky Flashman. The central villain of the Fourth World series, Darkseid, and some of the Fourth World concepts, appeared in Jimmy Olsen before the launch of the other Fourth World books, giving the new titles greater exposure to potential buyers. The Superman figures and Jimmy Olsen faces drawn by Kirby were redrawn by Al Plastino, and later by Murphy Anderson. 

Kirby later produced other DC series such as OMAC, Kamandi, The Demon, and Kobra, and worked on such extant features as "The Losers" in Our Fighting Forces. Together with former partner Joe Simon for one last time, he worked on a new incarnation of the Sandman. Kirby produced three issues of the 1st Issue Special anthology series and created Atlas The Great, a new Manhunter, and the Dingbats of Danger Street.

Kirby's production assistant of the time, Mark Evanier, recounted that DC's policies of the era were not in sync with Kirby's creative impulses, and that he was often forced to work on characters and projects he did not like. Meanwhile, some artists at DC did not want Kirby there, as he threatened their positions in the company; they also had bad blood from previous competition with Marvel and legal problems with him. Since he was working from California, they were able to undermine his work through redesigns in the New York office.

REVIEW

If you are a ninenties creature like me, you remember all these concepts very well, because they came back in the form of Cadmus in the superman titles of the “triangle” era. This is proof that Kirby left a big legacy on more than one company. It is sometimes hard to tell where Kirby starts and where other writers come in. It is hard to tell on his Marvel work at least (and Stan Lee would often take credit for Kirby’s work). So the Fourth World is a good place to check on the real Jack Kirby. Away from Joe Simon, away from Stan Lee.

Now, about this issue. As I said, I knew most of these things from the 90′s Superman titles (that was also the last time Jimmy Olsen mattered). But I have to imagine what it was like to new readers... Jimmy Olsen readers in particular, that a few months ago were reading about Superman trying to prevent Jimmy (an adult) from being adopted. I also have to have in mind that comic-book readers were probably very aware of who Jack Kirby was. The sixties were pretty much dominated by Marvel, and a big part of that success was because of Kirby. But, as I said before, Stan Lee would take the media and take credit for everything. So I am not sure how aware casual readers were with Jack Kirby.

If they weren’t, by this issue they probably were, as DC did a lot of fanfare about the fact that Kirby was coming to DC. Some people compared Bendis coming to DC to this period of time in particular. While there are similarities, it is too early too judge Bendis legacy at this point in time.

The story in this issue is ok. There are a lot of characters and plots being introduced. It’s the first appearance of Morgan Edge, the Wild Area, the Outsiders, the Newsboy Legion (Junior) and other concepts. It is important to remark that this Newsboy Legion is not the golden age version of that group. They are the sons of the originals (and they look pretty much the same... and dress the same). Flip is a bit weird, though. I am pretty sure he doesn’t need the scuba kit on all the time. I will be reviewing the original Newsboy Legion in the golden age reviews.

The art is better than the usual Kirby style, but as it was said above, Al Plastino redrew Superman and Jimmy’s faces. This was common practice at DC, as they didn’t want their most emblematic characters changing too much from issue to issue.

I give this issue a score of 8

[daledoesdrafts-blog]

Batman: Usurper Cast of Characters (WIP)

After a long period of deliberation, I’ve finally come up with the list of characters I want to use in my fanfic. It took a while because I needed to figure out which characters were around at the time of Knightfall, and if they weren’t around, would it be feasible that they’d show up during the events of my fanfic? I’ve separated them into Heroes, Villains, and Anti-heroes.

Heroes Tim Drake/Cal Corcoran/Redbird -- The story centers around Tim as Jean Paul Valley continues to disgrace the name of Batman. Bruce once described Tim as the world’s greatest strategist, and my intent is to show him beginning to develop that strategist’s mind. In many of the comics throughout his career, Tim also displays a lack of confidence, believing he has to prove himself to Bruce. Above all else, this is a story about Tim confronting his failures and beginning to realize what he can learn from them.

Bruce Wayne -- I really want to show Bruce struggling to adjust to a life where he can no longer be Batman due to his broken back. The original Knightfall trilogy did this to some extent, but not enough for us to get a feel for how difficult that might be for him, particularly when the people he cares about are still in the fight.

Dick Grayson/Nightwing -- some of my favorite Tim Drake comics are those that have him teaming up with Nightwing. They have a beautiful brotherly relationship that Chuck Dixon repeatedly made better and better. Dick trusted Tim to be Robin long before Bruce did, which is a compliment I imagine Tim didn’t soon forget. Dick also went through a bit of an identity crisis during the events of Knightfall where he began to question whether or not he was mentally fit to be Nightwing or to lead the Teen Titans. Like Tim, I think there’s a lot of opportunity for Dick to confront his demons.

Helena Bertinelli/Huntress -- Tim Drake had developed a partnership with Huntress during the events of the first few Robin comics, helping him take down King Snake and other villains. While Batman didn’t trust her due to her connection to one of Gotham’s crime families, Tim saw her as someone whose knowledge of organized crime would prove invaluable time and again.

Stephanie Brown/Spoiler -- The relationship between Tim Drake and Stephanie Brown is one I’ve come to love, despite Bruce’s initial disapproval of Stephanie. As Tim and Stephanie grew older, their witty banter back and forth as they took down Gotham’s thugs became one of the things I loved best about Robin comics. And like Tim, Stephanie felt the need to prove herself as a crime fighter. Though I enjoyed her time as both Robin and Batgirl, I always loved Stephanie best as Spoiler. Particularly in some of the newer comics, she’s realized she doesn’t need Batman’s approval to fight crime, and I think it’s important that her hero persona reflect that independence.

James Gordon, Harvey Bullock, and Renee Montoya -- For my fanfic, Mayor Krol has stripped Gordon of his job as police commissioner. Justice in Gotham is handled solely by Jean Paul Valley/Batman, which is to say there is no true justice in Gotham anymore. Bullock and Montoya are unwilling to serve under such excessive force, so they turn in their badges to follow Gordon in a vain attempt to restore order to the city.

Alfred Pennyworth -- Alfred doesn’t make much of an appearance in my fanfic. While I don’t think his absence his permanent, he’s become more than a little frustrated with Bruce’s decisions during the events of Knightfall and has decided a break is in order. As much as he cares for Bruce, Dick, and Tim, however, I can’t imagine he’ll be completely out of the picture. I’ve also always liked the Earth One version of Alfred a bit more than the typical depictions of him. Earth One depicts him as not only Bruce’s caretaker, but one of his mentors as well--a man who has seen war and can just as easily kill a man as save his life.

Barbara Gordon/Oracle -- Babs is another one of my favorites. I especially wanted to have her in this story because I’ve always felt like Bruce and Barbara were never very close in the comics. I think Barbara would be an obvious person for Bruce to turn to as he adjusts to his life without the cowl. She’d be someone who could teach him how to continue the war on crime without being an active participant.

Dinah Drake/Black Canary -- Dinah has a small cameo in the story, since I wanted her, Oracle, and Huntress to be in the initial stages of forming the Birds of Prey.

Cassandra Cain/Batgirl -- Although Cassandra wasn’t around during the events of Knightfall, my fanfic takes place a few years after Jean Paul Valley takes up the cowl, so it’s feasible that she would have appeared by then. Each of the Batgirls has a special place in my heart, but Cassandra always struck me as intriguing because she was raised by an assassin, yet of all the Batgirls she seems to have the biggest heart.

Clark Kent/Superman -- I had to do some research on this because the Knightfall and Death/Return of Superman comics take place around the same time. I wasn’t sure if Superman would have returned by the time my story takes place, but multiple sources claim that there was a comic in which Superman checked in with Jean Paul after his return. Jean Paul, however, had lined his cowl with lead so Superman couldn’t see who was wearing the Batsuit. This obviously raised some suspicions for Clark, but apparently not enough for him to investigate further. “Usurper” would have Superman taking a more active role in deposing Jean Paul. I’ve also mentally replaced Superman’s black-and-white, mullet-wearing Return costume with the blue, red, and black costume of Kingdom Come. 

Villains

Jean Paul Valley/Azrael/Batman -- The idea of Batman as a villain excites me to no end, and while Jean Paul isn’t the true Batman (however much he might wish it were so), he represents what Bruce might become if he ever breaks his rule not to kill. It’s also going to be interesting to explore Batman from the perspective of those he hunts--how terrifying that would be, especially knowing that this Batman kills. Jean Paul strikes me as somewhat of a tragic villain--he’s a man who believes he’s doing good, but ultimately is no better than the criminals he kills. He fears that without the brainwashing of the Order of St. Dumas, he’ll be nothing, which sadly is what he ultimately becomes.

The Order of St. Dumas -- The Order is responsible for Jean Paul’s brainwashing into becoming Azrael, and their influence on him is always present as he continues to have hallucinations of his father and St. Dumas throughout the Knightfall trilogy. The purpose of this brainwashing, however, is never quite explained. Presumably, the Order wanted Azrael to become an avenging angel of Gotham--one who would deal with its criminal element in a permanent fashion as opposed to Batman’s temporary one. “Usurper” takes it a step further, with the Order revealing themselves to be a fascist organization bent on placing Gotham under their martial law.

Victor Zsasz -- From the time I first read the Knightfall trilogy, I always loved how creepily realistic Zsasz seemed compared to a lot of Batman’s other villains. The concept of a man who carves tallies of the number of people he’s killed into his skin fits into the grittiness of Gotham perfectly. Even the fact that his eyes in Knightfall were merely dark slits from which two white specs stared hungrily drew me towards wanting to write a Batman story with Zsasz in it.

Joker -- Like Alfred, I don’t think Joker will show up very much. If anything, I feel like Joker is better in small doses, rather than in long story arcs. Part of what makes his character so good is the mystery behind him, and the longer he’s around, the less mystery there is and the less creepy and unpredictable he becomes. That being said, I’m interested in showing a darker Joker here than what appears in the Knightfall comics. In Batman and Son, Grant Morrison suggests that Joker goes through periods in which his personality changes, making him even more unpredictable, and currently I’m thinking we’ll get to see Joker go from a campier character to the grittier villain we see in comics by Brian Azzarello and Scott Snyder.

The Court of Owls -- This secret society appeared in the first two volumes of Scott Snyder’s run of Batman comics in 2011, yet Snyder suggests that the Court has existed in Gotham since its creation. Again, I don’t intend for the Court to show up much (or, perhaps, at all), but Tim and the rest of the Bat-family will start to hear hints and rumors of their existence.

Anti-heroes Bane -- Bane has little more than a cameo appearance in my story. Rather than turning Bane over to police custody, Jean Paul gives him an almost lethal dose of the super-steroid called Venom. He’s rushed to the hospital where he remains in a comatose state. His gang, however, remains active in both Gotham and Santa Prisca. Tim contacts them to learn more about how Bane managed to defeat Batman and take over Gotham.

Edward Nigma/Riddler -- For a brief period, some of the Batman comics featured Riddler as a detective who solved Gotham’s most puzzling crimes. The idea intrigued me, so I’ve revitalized it for “Usurper.”

Harvey Dent/Two-Face -- This rendition of Harvey is greatly inspired by Scott Snyder’s All Star Batman 1: My Own Worst Enemy, in which Batman is forced to work with Harvey while his Two-Face persona works against them. For “Usurper,” I imagined Harvey’s deep desire to save Gotham from corruption, which might lead him towards working with Tim and the rest of the Bat-family. Two-Face, however, still holds a deep hatred for everything Bat related, and would simultaneously seek to foil Tim’s plans.

Selina Kyle/Catwoman -- Selina had a fairly large role in Knightfall, partly due to the fact that she was one of the few people who immediately knew that Bruce was no longer wearing the mantle of the Bat. Jean Paul also had a disgustingly crude lust for Catwoman that Selina was able to exploit in order to escape his grasp. As much as Selina cares for Bruce, I can only imagine she’d want to aid in removing Jean Paul from the role of Batman.

Shiva -- Shiva was one of Tim’s biggest mentors while he was learning to be Robin, but was frequently disappointed by his refusal to kill. Although their relationship started as one of mutual respect, Tim’s regard for her soured after she convinced King Snake to hold a personal vendetta against him. Shiva is also one of the martial artists Bruce turned to while he learned how to be Batman again.

Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy -- While Poison Ivy was still very much a villain during the events of Knightfall, ultimately her character has always had Gotham’s best interests in mind (even in those interests meant the genocide of humanity). She’s gradually become less of an eco-terrorist and more of an anti-hero, working with Harley Quinn and Catwoman as the Sirens. “Usurper” introduces her to the idea that, while she’s not wrong in wanting Gotham to be a more eco-friendly city, her methods are unjust.

Victor Fries/Mr. Freeze -- Freeze is by far one of my favorite anti-heroes. He’s a man who will do anything if it means saving his wife, Nora. “Usurper” has him teaming with Tim after the Cataclysm leaves him desperate to fix the machines which keep his wife in cryostasis.

Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow -- This is probably one of the characters I’m most excited to work with. “Usurper” has Crane rethinking his ways after a recent pummeling by Bruce/Batman. He begins to see that his obsession with fear was born out of his own personal demons, which he hopes to overcome in order to become the true Master of Fear. During this process of rediscovering himself, Tim approaches Crane under the alias Cal Corcoran with the idea of employing his toxins as a new weapon in the Bat-arsenal. While working together, Tim introduces Crane to the concept of using fear for a good purpose rather than for one’s own pleasure. While Crane’s psychosis isn’t entirely cured, his life is given new purpose as he begins a life preying on Gotham’s criminals.

Ra’s al Ghul and the League of Assassins -- Ever since I read Red Robin 2: Collision by Chris Yost, I’ve loved the idea of Tim Drake and Ra’s al Ghul teaming up/fighting against each other. Both are incredible strategists who utilize all of their assets in order to win the fight. “Usurper” has Ra’s realizing Bruce is no longer Batman and making a move on Gotham while he believes it to be weakened. When he discovers that Tim is attempting to depose Jean Paul, however, he proposes an alliance that he hopes will lead towards Gotham’s destruction. Talia al Ghul and Damian Wayne also make appearances. 

[aacomicscorner]

Clark Kent and Ben Grimm as the Jumping off Point of their Respective Universes

So I’ve been thinking a lot about where the morality of Superhero comics have gone in the past 80 years since Action Comics 1, and I think something that’s very interesting about that is how you can see both the DC and Marvel universes having a similar progression, with Marvel simply going through the early stages much faster, and DC somewhat following behind somewhat dragging its feet, somewhat jumping in out of nowhere. But both of them start off with a similar concept: A guy who will always do the right thing. 

 Now ultimately, Clark Kent didn’t really start out perfect, I know that. But the interpretation of him that we all know now is the version of Superman that does things the right way every time. He doesn’t like that he can’t punch Lex Luthor out, but that wouldn’t be the right thing to do. (You can’t ignore that part of his image comes from being made more like Captain Marvel to compete with him, especially since he was eventually written by Otto Binder.) He’s one of the few Heroes who survived the Comics Code, and those were actually some of the stories where the Big Blue Boyscout is more of a dick. However, for a very long time, the most popular hero in the world is a guy who likes helping people with a smile on his face, and while he has complicated feelings about his place in the world and what his powers mean from a surprisingly early point, there is no truly Morally gray or Black action that defines our boy when he’s in character. 

I feel like before I get into the Ben Grimm introduction there are a few things I should say for clarity. 1. I was named after Ben Grimm, so I have a lot of affection for him and that’ll color this little essay more than I want it to I’m sure. 2. Some people might feel that Captain America is a good fit for this idea, but I disagree. Captain America was created by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby for Timely Comics, and he didn’t save his company or change the way that comics were being written in the way the Fantastic Four did. 3. Marvel Comics was different from DC from the moment the Fantastic Four were first published, and that starts off the development I’m getting at. 

The Fantastic Four are at their core an ensemble. They are three interesting, dynamic characters and Johnny Storm, who are a family before they’re a team. The Justice League had worked together for years, but they were still a bunch of Golden Age or Silver Age dudes (and one gal at any given time, maybe two here or there) who all acted like slightly different versions of either Superman or Batman. The Fantastic Four start off with four characters very distinct from each other, and one of them distinct from the rest of comics. 

While Sue Storm became a great character, unfortunately she got the poor treatment most women got in early comics as a woman who’s trait that made her most different was that she was simply not a man. That changes, and not long after she’s introduced there are some small moments where she feels like her own character, but its not for a long time that a writer makes her someone other than a mother figure or Reed’s girlfriend/wife. Reed is interesting early on, and he develops much quicker, but at the start he reads somewhat like the other genius superheros available at DC. 

Ben Grimm was something completely new. For the first time outside of a horror story, a superpower was a curse. The nicest guy in the entire world, the guy who would do the right thing and always help the people he cares about, gets turned into an ugly rock monster. What’s more, in comics to that point the thing (no pun intended) that didn’t look human, was super strong, and spoke like a bad mobster impression? Always the bad guy. Ben Grimm “Talks like dis,” but is a sweetheart who wants people to be safe. How unfair is it that a selfish kid like Johnny gets to have a power that lets him protect himself, shoot fire balls, and fly in a way similar to his company’s grandpa’s company early star? That’s the point. 

Superman can do anything, and he chooses to do the right thing. The world has cursed the Thing, people are afraid of him, and he chooses to do the right thing. Both stories and both characters have a lot of nuance added on by writers joining the narrative over the years but are ultimately that simple. When Superman has the chance to kill Darkseid? He won’t. When Ben has to choose between being human again or helping save the day? That handsome Yancy street mug will have to wait. And just like Superman before him, everyone loves Ben Grimm. 

Ben is a favorite of readers and writers at Marvel for years. He’s similar to Superman in the end result sure, but while Clark is your friendly smiling guy, Ben Grimm’s grumbling all the way. Yeah, he’ll save the world, but then something gets worse. What a revoltin’ development. Its new, its something that hadn’t been seen and people could relate to the guy who it felt like never got a break. So from there, the Fantastic Four are THE BOOK before another one comes along. When Thor, Hulk, Iron Man, or the Avengers as a whole show up? Sorry kids, the Fantastic Four you aint. They’ll handle Galactus, you can handle Count Nefaria. What drops the FF and Ben with readers, is a character pretty similar to him in concept but boldly original in the same way as Ben was when he showed up. Spider-Man.

Ben Grimm is my second favorite Superhero, Spidey’s my first. This isn’t the place to get into it, but just like Ben he has every bad thing that can happen to him happen, and after letting a crook run past him in his origin story, he tries to do what’s right no matter how hard it makes his life from that point on. What sets us on our path with him is when Gwen Stacey dies. Comics can be serious now, superhero comics can be emotional. Most importantly, comics can get dark. 

Gwen Stacy died in 1973 and it sparked a lot of darker storylines in comics trying to follow the leader in some cases, and in others stories that were now free from scrutiny. It’s no real coincidence that Wolverine debuted in 1974. He joined the X-Men in 1975, and hated authority, loved drinking and smoking, and was a violent animal compared to Marvel’s tame roster. I love Wolverine, in fact as a disclaimer, I love every character mentioned so far in this essay. What Wolverine did however, I don’t love so much. 

The careful planning and work that went into Wolverine did not go into the characters that tried to ape his style. Chris Claremont and John Bryne, and later Frank Miller all handled him with care. Your Punishers and your Ghost Riders and your Deadpools don’t have that when they’re introduced. (Punisher was introduced before Wolvie but only as a Spider-Man villain.) There’s suddenly way more guns in comics, or rather way more guns being used by “good guys”. The Anti-Hero is the new Hero. Things get so bad across the X-Men and really almost everywhere else that characters like Lobo pop up, or you have Gail Simone reinventing Deadpool so that someone can make fun of theses characters. Lobo is a parody of the badass tough guy vigilante so over the top it stops being a parody than becomes one again. Deadpool’s a character reinvented to make fun of himself. 

However, all this aside, the other big shift is the graphic novel. Graphic novels were taken as a great opportunity for comics to be taken seriously by the people writing them. Most of the ones in the eighties are like that, very serious, very dark, and luckily very good. Watchmen is spectacular, The Dark Knight Returns is a very good Batman story despite being a bad Superman story, and God Loves Man Kills is a half optimistic half heart breaking story for the X-Men. Readers and critics agree dark is good for comics. 

The Superman of the 40s doesn’t look normal standing next to Azreal or Jason Todd as Red Hood. Ben Grimm seems like an oddity next to Cable and Shatterstar. The good guys are seen as boring by a lot of people, and while we’re lucky that Superman hasn’t fallen to the side, it seemed like Ben Grimm was in danger of just that until a few months ago. Luckily, a lot of newer characters like Moon Girl and Ms Marvel are much brighter, and the DC Rebirth reboot has given us a lot more smiles on the page for Supes, Wonder Woman, Batman, and pretty much every hero really. The right thing might be the right story people want to read again, and that means that for comics’ big two, their moral centers might just get the credit they deserve again. And that’s a hell of a thing. 

[thegeekerynj]

DC’s Future State: The Home Runs, Hits, and outright Strikeouts  

(Or, how Politics and Comics Don’t Mix)

Greetings from somewhen along the fractured timelines, and somewhere in the newly reconstituting Omniverse! Tis’ I, your faithful, but recently missing Fat Guy, finding his way back to a Universe with a keyboard, Intel processor, and something as far from MyFace as possible!

Gentle Readers, when last I had the privilege of gracing these Interwebs, Death Metal #7 had not yet hit the shelves, nor had Dead Earth #6. 

My spin down the ‘rabbit holes’, between the lunacy of the viral insanity that gripped the country, and then, the worries which came out of the COVID Pandemic, had me more focused on depressing issues, than the IMPORTANT THINGS in LIFE…

What DID happen with Wonder Woman? And, What came out of the lunacy of the Metal Saga?

Well, let’s touch on a few of those topics, the second, first.

What happened out of the Metal Saga? Well, we get a view of the Future, or a possible Future, if this is the Final State. We get to see some Characters grow, some disappear, some books remain the same, some will change DRASTICALLY.

We get to hear jokes about the Fifth Generation and how it is a marketing ploy for the Mothership, the United Conglomerated Moneygrab AT&T.

We get a name change from 5G to Future State, without a real concept change.

Oh, and Dan DiDio got fired. So did about half of DC’s regular staff.

But, I digress. 

Anyway, the premise is really simple… It’s Baseball Season! That being the case, I’m going to engage in a game of hybrid game of Sewer Cap Baseball, with each group of books graded as a Single, Double  Triple , Home Run, Out or Side Retired. This will not be an arbitrary judgment, as there will be some criteria to be followed.

The RULES: 

Home Runs  Well, a Home Run has to have outstanding artistry and story, the work being exemplary. Plot, characters, premise, everything is crisp, fresh and enjoyable. Writer and Artists have brought the reader to a place where they know the divergent reality is believable, in context.

Triples: If a Home Run is everything hitting on all cylinders, the Triple is the single knock in the engine. The pothole that nags at the Reader, the Idea that makes the Collector say, ‘This was really good…BUTTTTTT…’. Not the hook that leaves you wanting more, it’s the oversized hook that says’I just can’t swallow that’.

Double: A Double has a glaring issue that takes the reader out of the story… Frank Miller ‘300’ style Artwork on “Millie the Model’ type of ‘Well, that was a misfire!’ The story can be exceptional, or the Artwork wonderful, there’s just that GLARING issue that pulls the Reader away.

Single: The GLARING ERROR is extensive, pairing Yo-Yo Ma with Weird Al extensive. Both wonderful, but put together, and too much is lost in translation. The pairing of an ultra detailed writer with a 60’s style artist, who does no backgrounds, except for splash pages.

STRIKE OUT: Something is just BAD. 1985 Secret Wars BAD. Unfinished Kevin Smith Widening Gyre Cliffhanger BAD. Spider Buggy BAD. Not usually one to say something is BAD, I have said I didn’t like certain things. Not liking something does not make it BAD. Something horrifically wrong with it, that makes it BAD.

SIDE RETIRED: OK, this is a very special category, reserved for the Story That Has Been Done To Death, Didn’t Need To Be Done Again, Yet Here We Are, New Universe, Same Old CRAP!

This is the ‘Superman painted himself with invisible lead paint’ story, the ‘Bat-Shark Repellent in the Utility Belt Story (outside the 60’s camp stories)’…

So Gentle Readers, with all that said, the Pitchers and Catchers are set, the Batters are ready, the Managers are already bitching at the Umpire, sooooooo, Let’s Play Ball!

And remember, the Umpire reserves the right to continue the Game onto another day, as the Sun Goes Down…

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First Inning:

Batter UP!

Dark Nights: Death Metal #7

Writer: Scott ‘Skull Crusher’ Snyder  Pencils (PP1-28) Greg ‘Constrictor’ Capullo,  Inks: Jonathan ‘’Gut Punch’ Glapion; Artist (PP 29-36) Yanick ‘Yell Master’ Paquette,  Artist (PP 37-38) Bryan ‘Hatchet Man’ Hitch

‘Tell me our shorts were not this short!

No way! They were MUCH SHORTER!

I will not die by pixie boot. I will not die by…’

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This is it folks! The First Batter, or, the End of the Beginning, however the heck you want to look at it.

Gentle Readers, you can’t get to the Future State without first talking about the last issue of the series that brought you there… so, here we go!

Six issues, or, 23 issues, depending on your budget, wallet size, and ability to ‘Just Say NO!’, and here we are, the LAST ISSUE of the Death Metal Saga, which actually started way back in Batman #1 of the REBIRTH reboot, and carried through the METAL / Batman Who Laughs / Year of the Villain… so, the gift that kept on taking!

Anyway, this has been the Longest Long Game, and the Payoff has been SPECTACULAR! 

Constantly swinging between the Battle of the Bat-Families, the Superman Fight Squad and the Last Son, and the one - on - one death match between Wonder Woman and The Batman who Laughs, we get the battle scenes we have craved all along. 

Death, carnage, mayhem, and Jarro… who could ask for - - - What, you want more???? Well, we can add in the Totality, Diana of Themyscira, Goddess, ElseWorld, and finally finding out who was narrating this book for the last 77 years… Ya know, that’s enough.

Not that there isn’t more, I’m just not writing about it here…

Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo have left everything on the field with this book. No regrets, no punches puled, they finished this the way they started, unrelenting, unforgiving, and absolutely unstoppable. 

As a fan, I can say this is one of the few books I really jonesed for over the last year. The months when there was a skip due to the ‘One - offs’, I think I really got the shakes. This was one of the three stories of 2020 that made this Reader sit up and take notice.

As such, I highly recommend this entire series. This issue was fantastic, a fine ending to lead in to a new phase of the DC Universe, and Frickin’ ELSEWORLD!!!

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶

First Batter - Home Run!

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Batting Second…

Generations Shattered  #1 / Generations Forged #1

Writers: Dan Jurgens, Robert Venditti, Andy Schmidt  

Artists: Ivan Reis and Joe Prado, John Romita JR and Danny Miki, Kevin Nowlan, Rags Morales, Doug Braithwaite, Ema Lupacchino and Wade von Grawbadger, Dan Jurgens and Klaus Janson, Yanick Paquette, Bernard Chang, Aaron LoPresti and Matt Ryan, Mike Perkins, Fernando Pasarin and Oclair Albert, Paul Pelletier and Sandra Hope. Colleen Doran, Marco Santucci, Joe Prado, Bryan Hitch and Andrew Currie, Dan Jurgens and Kevin Nowlan

‘I will not spend another day behind bars! Not on Tamaran! Not on Maltus! And not HERE!

Starfire! Don’t!

It’s RICOCHETING!

Not bored now!’

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So, What happens when ALL the Timelines are SHATTERED by a Multi-Cosmic Level Event?

Naturally, you send Booster Gold out to recruit an army of tactically important individuals from across the Multiverse, is an attempt to repair and cement the Timelines back together.

And what happens when said Man with a Master Plan and a hovering supercomputer gets himself killed?

Well, that duty now falls to Kamandi, the Last Boy on Earth!

Yes, this is where we start, in the Time After The Great Disaster, with Kamandi and Tuftan trying to outrun some Bat-Men, and the Great White Goneness (Crisis Energy, Take II), an aged Booster Gold trying to recruit him, then getting swallowed up by the Crisis Energy (™), and Kamandi and a Skeets bracer escaping into the Dimensional Void to continue Booster’s mission…

No, this isn’t a rehash of the Kamandi Challenge from a few years ago, this is the aftermath of Death Metal.

All the Time / Dimensional Lines are in flux, and they can either get repaired, or, if Dominus has his way, only his little pocket dimension will remain.

So, we have Kamandi and Skeets, Starfire (from 1983), John Henry Irons (Steel) (from 1993), Superboy (from the Legion Timeline), Dr. Kimiyo Hoshi (Dr. Light) (from 1987), Sinestro Korugar, the Green Lantern for Sector 1417, Booster Gold, Day 1 in Metropolis, and Batman, circa 1939 versus Dominus’ incarnation of the Linear Men… O.M.A.C, Liri Lee, Rayak the Ravager, Matthew Ryder, Ultra-Humanite, Knockout, Artemis, Eradicator, Major Force, and Nemesis Kid… A virtual Who’s Who of Evil throughout the DC Timelines!

The Goal? Survive, Win, Preserve the hard-fought victory brought by the sacrifice of Diana, or face Oblivion.

A very well written story, presented by some amazing artists, and showcasing others we will be seeing throughout the Future State event. Of some note, the gorgeous pages by Colleen Doran, the work of Kevin Nowlan, Rags Morales, Doug Braithwaite, John Romita JR, Dan Jurgens and Klaus Janson. Some of the pages… ehhh.

A neat tie in, a way to let readers new and old know there are things which need to be fixed, and there are plans underway to do so, and to once again highlight Rip Hunter’s Blackboard!

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶

Second Batter - Triple

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In the Three Hole…

Future State: Kara Zor-El  Superwoman

Writer: Marguerite Bennett   Artist: Marguerite Sauvage

‘I’ve come so far to learn that I can’t control what others think.

And that was another thing i learned from you, my good, grand Greatest Boy, KRYPTO the SUPERDOG.’

———————————————————————————————————

The title of this story comes from a quote attributed to Confucius,’Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves’, implying in the seeking of vengeance, one loses themselves, as well.

‘Dig Two Graves’ takes place in the far future, long after the prophesied battle between Clark and Jon Kent, when the son suppliants the father.

Kara has taken those who sought Safe Haven to the Moon, to the Fortress of Solitude there, where she expanded, and reinforced, and made it habitable for those looking to escape the violence.

And she forsook the violence, herself.  

No longer to be called upon as the Protector of Kal-El, a title long gone and forgotten, she has chosen to practice the ideals which her cousin, his son, and she should have been practicing all along.  Consideration, kindness, respect…

And then the idyllic peace is broken.

Marguerite Bennett gives us an extraordinarily beautiful story, one of insight, growth, beginnings and ends. This is a masterful piece, which tells a tale on many levels, which appeals to the most cynical among us (hand raised here), and the youngest, most hopeful at heart.

Paired with the writing is the beauty of Marguerite Sauvage’s artwork, both delicate in places and frenetic in others, telling the tale of the Gardener, the Hero, and the Rescuer. Beautifully rendered, the art carries the words as a tune carries lyric, bringing the Reader through the rises and lulls of the storyline in a beautifully orchestrated dance

Most notable of the story is the coloring, or seeming lack thereof For most of the story, with some exceptions, the most vibrantly colored character is Kara, with the Colonists and the Visitors appearing as pale in comparison ( for the most part, they are white, with pale highlights). 

This story is one of the true highlights of the Future State lineup…

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

AAAnnnnnnddddddd, It’s outta Here!  

HOME RUN

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And in the Clean-Up Spot…

Future State: Green Lantern #1-2

Writer: Geoffrey Thorne  Artist: Tom Rainey

Writer: Ryan Cady  Artist: Sam Basti

Writer: Ernie Altbacher  Artist: Clayton Henry

Writer: Josie Campbell  Artist: Andie Tong

Writer: Robert Venditti  Artist: Dexter Soy

‘My name is Beelu Kenz. You won’t have heard of my world.Bit of a Hellscape really. Everything there kills you. The air, the animals, even the dirt.

My people not only live there, we THRIVE. We ADAPT.We’re not the bloody fighters Khundia makes but we’ve got one thing over you. Two things, really.

We’re the BEST Weaponeers in the Spiral Arm. No one can touch us.

My Planet’s called IMSK and when an Imskian wants something to die—-

—-IT SPROCKING DIES!’

———————————————————————————————————

Two issues, five stories, one central theme carried through both issues… the Oan Lantern of Power has died.

We have John Stewart leading a cadre of Lantern Warriors, in the defense of a planet, against the militant worshippers of the God in Red, a god they believe wants warriors to commit slaughter and carnage in his name.

Stewart and Company teach them three lessons.

The story is marvelous, bringing in some great old names (Salaak, G’NORT!), while weaving a tale of great intrigue and detail which keeps the reader enthralled to the last page.

`

Next, the Sinestro Corps, taking the Green Lantern Outpost stations, invade the Station in Sector 023, only to find it defended by Jessica Cruz.

Story number three, well, there had to be a Warrior’s Bar Story, didn’t there? Which, of course gives us Guy Gardner.

The fourth story, a team story, puts Keli Quintela, the Teen Lantern and Mogo, the Living Planet, on a mission to find Jo Mullein, the Lantern’s resident detective, in the hopes of finding out the secrets of Keli’s overpowered, obviously alien ‘Power Gauntlet’.

Finally, and obviously necessary, for what collection of stories about the Green Lantern Corps would be complete without it, we get the story of Hal Jordan, and his search for the Lanterns, and  the Guardian’s Homeworld of Oa.

And who he finds when he arrives there…

Every story on point, every character well written, all converging toward, well, we don’t know yet. But we will.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶

The windup! The Pitch! The SWING! KRAAAAK!  IT”S IN THE BLEACHERS!!

HOME RUN!

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Batting Fifth

Future State: Legion of Super Heroes #1-2

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis  Artist: Riley Rossmo

‘If I knew this was why you called me here, I would never have come! Not only should the Legion STAY DISBANDED —- The word should NEVER be spoken again!

T —- Tas —-  GAKK!  COFF!

***Listen, I stopped giving out Free Mood Stabilizers a long time ago*** But that wasn’t going the way you wanted!

_______________________________________________________________________

So, 31st Century, and the known galaxies are KA-Blooie!

RJ Brande is dead, the Legion has been disbanded, and BATTLE LINES have been drawn along loyalties…

Why, you ask?? How???

Well, it seems Post - Death Metal and the Restructuring, there was a traitor in the Legion.

Jan Arrah, Element Lad, has been branded with the label, a branding which carries to all his people.

The result of the treachery, the Planets of the Known Galaxies have been ruined, and left nearly uninhabitable.

Or, was it these people…

Brian Michael Bendis has given us a new future, one in the midst of upheaval, where the United Planets has been disbanded, the Legion is split along loyalties, and whether they want vengeance or redemption.

A well written, engaging story, wonderfully told through some different characters: 

Chuck Taine, Bouncing Boy, taking the battle to the Khunds as they try to colonize the devastated worlds; 

Imra Ardeen, Saturn Girl, trying to bring her beloved Legion back together to fight the real threat to the galaxy, and carrying a secret which is crushing her;

Luornu Durgo, once Triplicate Girl, now trying to find herself after one of her selves has been killed, and afraid to recombine because the pain of missing her is too great to deal with, and other characters we have come to know over the last year.

Where Bendis’ story is the blazing signal fire to light the way toward a stronger future in the DC Multiverse, Riley Rossmo’s Art is the Asbestos Blanket and Aircraft Fire Foam which induces all the cancers and kills it.

I’m sorry. There are times Riley Rossmo’s artwork really works for me. This chaotic styling is perfect within the framework of characters like Bizarro, Constantine, even the JLA, when there are magic or Lobo-like story elements involved. I especially liked his work on the Robin King, the frenetic, chaotic stylings appealed to my senses, made me giggle, and cringe at the same time.

Not here, though. Here, his work pulled me out of the story faster than if I had a tow hook jammed through my nether regions, and it was attached to a hiballin’ Peterbilt turbocharged tractor trailer.

This, Gentle Readers, was painful. It hurt my eyes, on a scale with the COVID News Conference from April 2020. I think I bled. 

I might still be…

I know I cried, because no matter how good the story was, I could not enjoy it.

Out of 5     🌶🌶

OUT

Batting Sixth

Future State: Aquaman 1-2

Writer: Brandon Thomas, Artist: Daniel Sampere

‘Is she here?

Jackson?

AQUAMAN, IS SHE HERE?

AQUAWOMAN LIVES’

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Oh GOD. OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD!!!

Have you ever heard that line, or an iteration of it? The Katz’s Deli scene in ‘When Harry Met Sally’, maybe?

This book  was the equivalent.

I know, it was an Aquaman Book.

How often has an Aquaman Book been Original, or Relevant?

There was Craig Hamilton’s Miniseries in 1985, that gave us the really neat camo Aquaman suit, then there was Flashpoint, and Throne of Atlantis, and the introduction of Kaldur’ahm, or Jackson Hyde, the son of Black Manta.

Now, we have Andy Curry, AquaWoman.

This is a time where less is more. 

Brandon Thomas has given us a two issue story which I have gone back and read 4 times, because it is that good! David Sampere’s artwork is crazy beautiful, so gloriously detailed it leaves the eyes wanting more. 

This is the AquaPerson Story I have been waiting for since the movie… No dumb oversized seahorses, no force waterballs… carnage, and dimension hopping insanity, this makes a fantastic story!

All I can say is, if there is one story you MUST Read, it is this!

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶

And that ball is GOING, GOING, GONE! They’re gonna find that one out on Sheffield!

HOME RUN

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Seventh Batter

Future State: The Flash #1-2

Writer: Brandon Vietti   Artist Dale Eaglesham

‘Focus on the Science.

Science reveals Answers. 

Answers build Hope.’

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NOOOOOOO!

After EVERY Time I picked up a Flash book over the last two years, and constantly getting assaulted with a NEVER-ENDING GODSFORSAKEN Redemption Arc story, what do i see here?

Barry Allen, in a REDEMPTION ARC STORYLINE!!!

The self-sacrificing hero of the Crisis, the overpowered, no the hero with the broken power structure, who turned Superman into an Anti-Life Zombie by VIBRATING THROUGH HIS ULTRA DENSE BODY, and leaving his fingers inside (uh, GROSS!!, but oh so cool!) now in a REDEMPTION ARC???

Nope! I’m done.

As Pretty as Dale Eaglesham’s artwork is (and it is pretty), This is a MAD Fail for me.

Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶     (if I split the grading this would have a 4.5 for the Artwork… the layouts are imaginative and well done, and the speed scenes are fantastic! This is how the Flash should be done, as artwork)

SIDE RETIRED.

As the sun starts to dip, and the street lights begin coming on, it’s time to call it a night.

At the end of the First Half of the Innings we have:

4 Home Runs

1 Triple ( a near miss, more for consistency of story and artwork… but points for Nemesis Kid and Major Force!)

1 Out (If I split it, it would have been a HR and a Side Retiring Art Fail)

And an Outright Side Retire

7 sets done, 15 more to do… We’ll start playing at Sunrise tomorrow, make a real day of it!