#like oh yeah let us just change the entire app/website into something completely different and add countless useless things that-

[calbeloved]

can companies just stop updating and changing every single thing about their apps and websites for no reason. we don't need youtube to be pink and completely change how minimising videos works on mobile. we don't need the search engine to be it's own category in the play store it was FINE at the top of the screen. you know. where all other search engines always are. why does everyone love changing and messing things up if they were perfectly fine and functional for years now??

[nev3rfound]

blame it on the neighbours : b.b

having recently moved in next door, you and bucky become fast friends. however, there's something looming between the two of you and it comes to light when it's revealed you're in the hospital. (1.7k)

masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop - requests open!

requested: yes! by the very sweet @didsomeonesaybucky warnings: bucky freaking out if that counts? descriptions of hospitals

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website without being credited, it has not been approved to be shared by me. all rights reserved.)

Ever since you moved in and became Bucky's next-door neighbour, he could tell things were going to be different. In the first instance, he could hear you in the corridor, chatting away happily to your other neighbours, offering baked goods. He watched cautiously through the peephole, still having to yet meet you, he merely observed from afar.

When he finally met you, it wasn't the interaction he quite hoped for.

Standing in front of his door with a tray of cookies in hand, you release a shaky breath having heard from your other neighbours that the occupant in apartment 4F wasn't the friendliest. But you would simply have to judge that for yourself, you told them.

"He's a bit of a strange one, dear." Your neighbour, Clarissa in 2F warned you as she accepted the container of muffins you had made that morning. "Doesn't really leave or go out much, I think I've only ever heard him say morning once in the six months he's been here!" Her words echo in the back of your mind as you lift your hand up, knuckles lightly tapping the door.

With wide eyes, Bucky hesitantly walks toward the door and stares straight through the peephole. His breath halters, watching as you stare down at your feet.

Taking a deep breath, Bucky glides his fingers over the several locks across his door and slides through the small gap in the doorway with an attempted smile gracing his lips.

"Hi," You start, now lifting your eyes up toward this mysterious neighbour who is definitely not what you anticipated. "I, I'm Y/n, I moved in next door a week ago," Motioning to your apartment, Bucky forces his eyes to glance across down the hall before averting them back to you, taking in your features up close as you rub your lips together.

"Yeah, I heard you moving in." Bucky comments, internally cringing at his choice of wording. "I mean, I," His words falter at the sound of you chuckling softly to yourself. "can I start again? Is that alright?" He asks, grateful that you nod. "It's nice to meet you, Y/n. I'm James."

"Well, it's lovely to know my other neighbour, James. I, these are for you." Thrusting the tray forward, Bucky pushes his door open further with his foot to accept the tray, forgetting he didn't have his glove on.

Your eyes wander down to see his left arm is entirely metal. "Thanks." He mutters, feeling your eyes burning into his arm.

"I'm sorry," You quickly say, looking up at his face. "it's rude to stare, my Mom would scold me if she were here right now."

Bucky shakes his head, moving his leg to catch the back of the door. "Don't worry 'bout it." He brushes it off, but he notices your eyes wandering around the bland corridor and your lips parting.

"You don't happen to know any good places for dinner 'round here?" You move the conversation on, causing Bucky to raise a brow in response. "I'm kinda new to the area and I was wondering if you knew any good spots." You shrug your shoulders, hoping he couldn't read your mind and know that sentence was a complete lie.

"Erm, yeah." He sheepishly tells you, hearing Doctor Raynor droning in the back of his mind about putting himself out there, and not on those godforsaken dating apps again. "There's a great sushi place I know of."

Your smile brightens at his suggestion, and Bucky can't ignore how his lips rise at the sight. "Great, wanna join me then since you know it so well?" You suggest nonchalantly. "And you can always enjoy those as a dessert afterwards."

Looking down at the tray of warm cookies, Bucky tries to hide the sound of his stomach grumbling against the tray.

"Sure," He reaches into his apartment, grabbing his things including his gloves before following you out. "so, what brings you to Brooklyn?"

*

It's been several months since you moved in next door, and Bucky couldn't be happier that you plucked up the courage to knock that day.

Every week you two hang out, sometimes you join him and Yori for lunch who spends most of the time trying to convince Bucky to ask you out (only to be scolded when you're absent.) Sometimes you'll cook dinner, dance around your apartment and watch movies or wander around the city whilst Bucky tells you old stories; just like normal friends do, right?

It was truly blissful, but there was still so much about each other you had yet to learn.

Running his fingers through his combed hair, Bucky tugs on his blue henley before heading out.

As he locks his front door, he carries out dinner that he promised to make for you tonight.

"Oh, James." Your neighbour in 2F, Clarissa, stands in front of her door with her handbag and walking stick.

"Hi, Clarissa." Bucky forces a small smile, having heard her conversations regarding his past, muttering about having a murderer in the building shouldn't be allowed.

"Heading into Y/n's I take it." She hums, eyeing him carefully as he nods in response. "She should be back later, told me she had to go to the hospital." Waving herself off, Clarissa turns the lock in her doors.

"The hospital?" Bucky speaks up as the containers in his hands begin to slip, his mind going a hundred miles an hour. "Y/n's in the hospital?" Trying not to yell, Bucky steps closer, causing Clarissa to clutch her handbag tightly in front of her chest.

"Yes," Clarissa states calmly, but Bucky notices the keys in her right hand begin to shake.

"Thanks." Bucky mutters, stepping away as he darts back into his own apartment and grabs his coat, barely able to process his thoughts before rushing down the stairwell with nothing but you on his mind.

Reaching the entrance to the hospital, Bucky hands the driver some money without any words being exchanged. Bucky knew he looked like hell; he couldn't focus properly on anything. He had only seen you last night, the two of you in his apartment painting his living room walls, laughing together as you accidentally flicked paint across his cheek.

The reception area was crowded, voices bounced from wall to wall as Bucky strode toward the desk where a woman sat, staring blankly at a screen.

"How can I help?" She asks, briefly glancing up at Bucky before focusing on her screen once more.

Suddenly lost for words, Bucky homes in on a man crying in the waiting area, loudly sobbing into his hands as a nurse stands over him.

"Y/n Y/l/n, I'm looking for Y/n." Bucky forces the words out as the Nurse simply nods whilst typing away, humming a tune to herself.

"Oh okay," The Nurse pauses as her eyes scan over the monitor.

Clutching the edge of the desk, Bucky can hear the plates in his metal arm whirring as his grip tightens, nearly tearing the panel off as the silence becomes insufferable.

"So Y/n is currently in the operating theatre." The nurse tells Bucky nonchalantly, glancing up to see something change in his expression.

"No," Shaking his head, Bucky steps back. "she, I, I we were going to have dinner." It sounds pathetic to him, saying it aloud. But seeing you, having any moment with you made him feel human again, almost normal.

"Yeah, crazy how schedules fall." A heavy sigh leaves the nurses lips, unaware of the cool gaze that is locking in on her.

"Do you know when she'll be-" Before Bucky can finish his sentence, he's caught off guard by someone calling his name from the corridor.

"James?" You chuckle, walking toward him wearing your uniform adorned with your badge.

"Doll?" Bucky stutters, stepping closer as he tries to stop the tears in his eyes from forming. "You, you're okay?" He mumbles, looking you over, keeping his hands on your arms.

"Why wouldn't I be?" You ask, evidently surprised. "Everything okay, James?" Lowering your voice, you peer down to look him in the eyes whilst his head hangs low.

"Clarissa said you were in the hospital." Bucky huffs in annoyance to himself. "I, I didn't put it together," He mumbles. "I forgot that you,"

"That I'm a Doctor?" Holding back the laugh in your throat, you sigh before tugging Bucky closer into your embrace. "I'm okay, James. I'm only sorry you came all this way."

Keeping you in his arms, Bucky doesn't want to let go. Whilst your face rests in the crook of his neck, he allows a few stray tears to fall in relief. "I, I made us dinner." He eventually says, feeling you pull back to look at him, your eyes softening at the trails left on his cheeks.

"Oh, James." Raising your hand, you cup his cheek. "I'll be off work in an hour. I'm so sorry I should've said something or let you know sooner."

Shaking his head, Bucky takes your hand from his cheek and runs his fingers over your knuckles. "Don't worry 'bout it, Y/n. I'm just glad you're safe." He tells you, wishing he could say something else, but for now, that was enough.

"Did you make,- Your eyes light up in excitement, but Bucky cuts you off before you can finish your sentence.

"Yep." Bucky chuckles as you do a little dance. "You're such a dork sometimes, doll."

"Yeah," You admit, slipping your hand from his as you bury them in your pockets. "but would you have me any other way, neighbour?" Raising a brow to him, Bucky shakes his head. "Thought as much."

"I'll keep dinner warm for you." He smiles, hearing the word neighbour circle his thoughts. Yet, for once, Bucky forces his intrusive thoughts aside as his lips brush across your forehead. "Be good, Doc." He can't help but laugh to himself at the sound of your heart beating rapidly whilst externally, you remain cool.

"I'll try my best, Barnes." You salute him, watching as he walks back out of the hospital, knowing he's one step closer to calling you his girl.

t a g l i s t (thank you for the support!) link in my bio and at the top of this piece to add yourself☺️(if your user isn’t tagged, it’s because nothing comes up sorry!)

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[georgescatcafe]

heaven can wait (we’re only watching the skies)

rating: t warning/s: slight internalized homophobia pairing/s: dreamnap genres/tags: high school au, friends to lovers word count: 6,639 summary: Dream was initially going to go to prom with him. Not, like, as a date, but… as a friend. Just two guys hanging out together. They’d go together and hang out and make fun of the people there, maybe, and they’d eat food that neither of them trusted to be good and they’d see if the punch was spiked and they’d have fun. Together.

And then Sapnap had checked the school website to find the rules changed. Only students from their school allowed, no exceptions. And Dream was homeschooled in a program completely separate to the school.

It sucked.

And now here Sapnap is, emptily drinking soda and watching a basketball game featuring teams he honestly doesn’t even care about. And thinking about Dream.

+ao3

;;

“Dude,” Sapnap says into the phone, staring blankly at the school’s website, “I have, like, zero interest in prom now that you can’t come. That rule is so stupid.”

“It is, but you’re not sneaking me in and getting suspended,” Dream replies.

“That’s only if I get caught,” Sapnap argues, “which I won’t.”

“Don’t even risk it.” Dream sighs, and Sapnap lets out one of his own in agreement. “Just go, and think about what we can do the next day—ice cream, maybe a drive to the beach, hey! Monday is Skip Day, right? Let’s stay the night at the beach. That’s awesome, right? Prom and then all that?”

“Prom without you, though?” Sapnap isn’t convinced.

He can see Dream’s frown crystal clear in his mind. “Don’t throw away unforgettable experiences just because of me. Besides, aren’t some of your friends going?”

“Our friends,” Sapnap corrects, even though that’s not entirely true. In freshman year, before, they were always more Sapnap’s friends than Dream’s, and even then, there weren’t that many in their group—just Sapnap, Dream, a guy from chess club, and two guys from the egamer group that met once every too many months.

Dream lets out a breath. “Our friends,” he agrees, nonetheless. “So isn’t that enough?”

“It’s just not right,” Sapnap says. “You belong in my unforgettable experiences, Dream.”

“Don’t go waxing poetic on me, Pandas,” Dream scolds, though it’s hard to take him seriously with both the nickname and the fondness creeping into his voice. 

“I’ll do it,” Sapnap repeats, “sneak you in. I’ll do it and I’ll get away with it and it’ll be fun. For both of us.”

“Sapnap,” Dream tries one last time, and he sounds so tired, so utterly exhausted, that Sapnap cuts him off.

“Fine,” he says, “you win. You’re not going, and I’m going without,” Sapnap swallows, “without you.”

;;

Come the final day to buy tickets, however, and Sapnap is still without one for himself, and without a suit, and without a date, and without a plan on getting to prom. He eyes the ticket booth warily, knowing if he chooses not to buy one today, it’s over for him.

Janson, one of the guys from the egamer group, takes a seat at the lunch table next to him. “Are you going?”

Sapnap stares at the booth for another second before shrugging. “Not really my scene.”

“Your scene?”

“Loud,” Sapnap replies, poking halfheartedly at his soggy rice, switching to the fruit drowning in juice. “Lots of people. I don’t really care.”

“Is it ‘cause you don’t have a date?” Janson asks. “Because yeah, that sucks, but no one actually cares, dude.”

Sapnap glances over at him for a second before shrugging once more and finally taking a bite of his weird blueberry mush. “I know. It’s not ‘cause of that. I just don’t really want to go.”

Janson studies him before nodding and stirring his own blueberry mush around with a spoon. “Suit yourself. We’ll miss you, though.”

At that, Sapnap laughs. “You don’t have to lie for me. But thanks, man.”

Janson gives him an easy smile. “Any time.”

;;

The hardest part is telling Dream.

But Sapnap wasn’t lying when he told Janson prom isn’t his scene. It is a lot—lots of people, lots of noise, lots going on in general. He doesn’t care about nor want that. He’d rather take a quiet night at home watching basketball with his dad on the couch over getting knocked between sweaty girls and guys while bass shakes the floor beneath him. Maybe, if he doesn’t make him too angry, Sapnap can even convince Dream to come over before their scheduled meeting the next day.

He can only hope Dream understands as he types this all out in a late night Discord message explaining what happened. And then he tries to throw himself into a game of CSGO, and when that doesn’t work, a game of League. When that doesn’t work either, he just rises out of his chair and flops pathetically onto his bed, closing his eyes and praying for sleep to come fast.

When he wakes up, it’s to six new messages from Dream—a rare sight—and two missed calls. Sapnap stares at the notifications until his eyes sting.

Dream: i mean, it’s ur choice, but i rly don’t want u to regret this sap

He won’t. 

Dream: and as it turns out, my older sister has something going on this weekend, so we can’t meet up either :( sorry :(

That’s… okay. It’s fine. Sapnap gets it. Just a weekend for himself, then.

Dream: are u sure u don’t want to go? r u sure u’re sure?

Dream: i sound naggy ik i just don’t want u missing out on these things

Dream: ok?

Dream: sap?

Sapnap types his response—he won’t regret it, sucks about this weekend but it’s fine, Dream’s not being naggy, really, and sorry, he was asleep—then hits send and tries not to feel too bad about everything.

Unsurprisingly, “everything” doesn’t include the prom itself. Sapnap really couldn’t care less about the actual prom.

;;

The rest of the week passes by quickly, and before Sapnap knows it, it’s prom night, and he’s sitting on the couch next to his dad, basketball game on the TV and soda can in his hand. And then it’s time for prom to start, and the ball is tossed into the air. Briefly, Sapnap wonders if Janson scored a date—though he consoled Sapnap over his lack of one, he never talked about his own. 

Sapnap wonders what Dream is doing, why they didn’t decide to simply meet up tonight. Maybe he was sleeping? Playing Minecraft? Maybe he was thinking about Sapnap?

Maybe he was thinking about Sapnap.

Sapnap blinks, and the score changes from 12-8 to 12-11. From the other side of the couch, his dad leans closer to the TV. Sapnap sends a glance back to the kitchen, wondering if they still have those chips he likes. His dad crunches on cheddar Ruffles. 

Dream was initially going to go to prom with him. Not, like, as a date—not like that. That’s weird, but… as a friend. Just two guys hanging out together. Maybe they’d match, probably not, but they’d go together and hang out and make fun of the people there, maybe, and they’d eat food that neither of them trusted to be good and they’d see if the punch was spiked and they’d have fun. Together. 

And then Sapnap had checked the school website to find the rules changed. Only students from their school allowed, no exceptions. And Dream was homeschooled in a program completely separate to the school.

It sucked.

And now here Sapnap is, emptily drinking soda and watching a basketball game featuring teams he honestly doesn’t even care about. And thinking about Dream. 

Sapnap downs the rest of his soda. “I think I’m going to go play some League.” He stands and crushes his can in his hand.

His dad doesn’t look away from the TV. “Don’t stay up too late.”

“I won’t,” Sapnap says, but he doesn’t even know if his dad’s heard, since he’s already back in his room, door slammed shut behind him, can tossed into the trash and chair creaking as he falls into it.

Despite his dad’s words, Sapnap games late into the night, and when he wakes, his head hurts from the way he’s had it pressed to the desk, asleep for however many hours. He shakes his computer mouse till the monitor comes on and he stares at it blearily as he realizes he managed to close out of his games before falling asleep. His Discord is empty, no new messages, no missed calls, and he sighs before sending a message to Dream.

Long day?

He closes out of the app before spinning around and heading out of his room to scrounge for breakfast. His dad isn’t in the living room, though the bag of Ruffles he’d been eating from sits there on the coffee table, empty, and the remote still rests on the arm of the couch. Sapnap can only assume he headed to bed after the game ended.

Once in the kitchen, he searches through the fridge before deciding to just eat a bowl or two of cereal. Part of him is still into the fanfare of prom, and he’s filled with a quiet shock at how mundane Sunday morning feels, in comparison to what was likely a crazy night for a bunch of seventeen- and eighteen-year-olds. Sapnap bites back a derisive snort. Last night was so crazy for him. Totally.

But it was his choice, and he doesn’t regret it. 

Now if he had gone, he’d regret that he’d gone without doing everything he could to get Dream there. And that’s a regret he just couldn’t live with. 

Sapnap sets his now empty bowl in the sink.

Skipping prom? Yeah, he doesn’t regret it.

;;

Come two weeks later, and Dream is sitting next to him on a park bench telling him about a different prom, one they can go to together, one without rules, without limitations.

Sapnap doesn’t even need to hear the rest of it before he’s agreeing, throwing an arm around Dream’s shoulders and talking quickly about how great the night will be. 

“It’s actually themed,” Dream finally interrupts him, holding a hand up and stopping Sapnap mid-daydream.

“Oh?”

Dream nods. “Decades. Got any ideas?”

He doesn’t. When he tells Dream as much, Dream sighs, staring out at the empty swingswet, the swings swaying slightly in the summer breeze. Sapnap sighs too, though he watches his friend, not the playground. “We could do, like, Dad Rock. Seventies, y’know?”

At that, Dream laughs, full and loud, and Sapnap smiles by reflex. Dream rests his chin in his palms, elbows digging into the tops of his thighs. “Remember when we read The Outsiders in eighth grade? What were they called? We could be those.”

“Oh,” Sapnap bites back a snort, “uh, greasies? No,” he and Dream speak at the same time, “greasers!” The laugh he’d been keeping down finally breaks free, spilling past his lips as Dream grins. “We could be those. We’re hot.”

“So hot,” Dream agrees, though he’s still giggling slightly, turning away from Sapnap so the other can’t see his smile, but his shaking shoulders give away his amusement.

Sapnap grins, bright, happy. “When is it again?” he asks.

Dream leans back, head tilting back so he can stare up at the clear blue sky. “A month from now. June 7th. Think you can go?”

“Uh, yeah,” Sapnap says, like it’s obvious. (Because it is obvious. Even if he couldn’t, he’d find a way to go. He’s just that loyal. To Dream, specifically, but that’s not important.) He clears his throat at his own thoughts. “I definitely can go.”

Dream looks to him, then, small smile on his face. “Awesome.”

Sapnap smiles back. Awesome.

;;

May trudges on like its stuck in the mud, Sapnap counting down the days until this rule-less prom. Dream was pretty sparing with the details, only saying it’s date and theme, and Sapnap can’t help but itch with the need to know everything. When he questions Dream for more info, however, the other shrugs him off, turning the tables and asking him if he’s settled on a decade yet.

“I thought we were choosing together,” Sapnap tells him over a Discord call one night, prom finally only a week away.

“So nothing?” Dream asks. “Let’s meet up tomorrow; we’ll figure it out then.”

It’s a plan, and come eleven in the morning, he and Dream are meeting outside of the city’s mall. “This feels kind of stupid,” Sapnap admits when they go through the sliding doors leading to Macy’s mens’ department. “Like, wow, we’re really putting effort into it.”

“Says you when there’s only a week left,” Dream replies. “Putting effort into it means having had our costumes in our closets since the day I told you about it.”

“True,” Sapnap replies, picking up a paisley tie from the clearance table. “What is this?”

Dream takes it from him, setting it back down. “Something we definitely don’t want.”

“Yeah,” Sapnap keeps his eyes on it as they walk away, “no shit.”

They don’t buy anything from Macy’s mens’ department. For an hour they wander aimlessly up and down the mall, more time spent talking rather than looking. It’s only until Sapnap’s stomach rumbles that the two of them realize they’ve gotten nothing done. Their feet finally take them to the food court.

“Shopping for a prom outfit is hard,” Sapnap says into his fries, while Dream nods in agreement shoving a chicken nugget into his mouth and staring down at a greasy spot on the table. “I mean, my feet hurt, and we haven’t even bought a t-shirt or something.”

“We haven’t even gone inside a store,” Dream replies.

Sapnap groans, shoving a fry in his mouth. “This is so stupid.”

They walk the mall again, this time going into various stores, pointing out ridiculous gag gifts and Sapnap picking up more hideous ties. Finally, Dream grabs a leather jacket off the Dillard’s clearance rack and tugs it on over his shoulders. It’s military-style, almost, the shoulders strong, and when Dream turns, it stretches broad across his back before tapering off at his waist. Sapnap swallows. It fits Dream well.

When Dream turns back around, Sapnap’s eyes shoot back up to his face, and he hopes his face isn’t as red as it is hot. He grabs the jacket next to it, also a large luckily, and puts it on. Dream gives him a thumbs up when he turns around to show it off.

“Looks good,” Dream says, and his cheeks aren’t red, and Sapnap isn’t disappointed about that.

They buy the jackets, think about what shoes they own, then buy some cheapy black shades.

“I don’t know if I can do my hair like they did,” Sapnap tells Dream when they go back through Macy’s and pass some grooming kits, jars of pomade on the shelf next to them.

“I might be able to,” Dream says, studying his reflection in the mirror on the post next to the grooming kits. He’s always kept his hair cropped pretty close, but Sapnap knows it’s been awhile since he’s gotten it cut, bangs starting to grow in the front, actually almost reaching his brows. Sapnap thinks it suits Dream, but he sees the way Dream always tries to push his hair back, though it always flops back into place.

“Maybe,” Sapnap agrees. “I think the glasses and jacket should be enough if you can’t though, right?”

Dream glances at the jars of pomade before nodding. “Right.”

;;

Dream and him got their licenses at sixteen, but Dream says he can pick Sapnap up Saturday, “don’t worry about gas money.”

“Are you sure?” Sapnap asks Saturday morning, both about the picking-up and the gas money.

“I’m sure,” Dream replies. “Just be out in front of your house before six, okay?”

“Sounds good,” Sapnap says. “You don’t think our parents want any pictures, would they?”

“Of course not,” Dream answers. “Your dad taking pictures of the two of us?”

“My stepmom maybe,” Sapnap laughs, but she left the house that morning, heading to the city to do her own business. She’s not going to get any pictures of them.

Dream laughs too before he finally says, “See you later then,” and Sapnap is left rushing to get dressed.

He feels giddy, almost, heart racing and stomach turning over itself. His hair has grown out much like Dream’s has over the school year, him never bothering to get it cut or trimmed, and he gives up on the pompadour when it comes out a wet looking lump on the top of his head, strings of hair falling in his face. He sighs and rinses out the product in the sink, leaving it to air dry and drip droplets onto his white t-shirt. By 5:45pm, he’s sweating, face flushed and chest tight, stomach still doing flips, and he ties his mostly dry hair back into a low ponytail, hoping it’s not too off-brand. Finally, he pulls on his jacket, though it feels restrictive and hot with the summer air and his nerves, and he has to stare at himself in the mirror for the next ten minutes repeating to himself that it’s just Dream and that it’s not romantic and that he’s acting like a freak, stupid and quite possibly into his best friend. (But he’s not.)

Then he marches himself out to his curb and sits.

Dream pulls up a couple minutes after six, his hair actually done Greaser-style, and damn it, he looks good.

(Sapnap can think that. He’s not blind. Anyone could see that his best friend is attractive. It’s just a general thing. Not a thing.)

When he gets into the passenger seat, Dream grins at him from behind matching dark sunglasses. “Looking good.”

“We look hot, man,” Sapnap says, a lot more casual than he feels.

The grin doesn’t leave Dream’s face as he puts the car in drive and takes off down the road.

Sapnap honestly doesn’t know where his nerves have come from—how is this prom any different from the school one, like, actually? How is Dream and him going to this one any different from them going to the high school’s? They won’t know anyone at this one, he’s pretty sure, but who cares? Isn’t that better for them? He glances over at Dream, who’s got his wrists crossed over the steering wheel as they speed down the highway to their destination.

It’s just Dream. Sapnap is just excited. It’s normal. It’s Dream.

He lets himself relax.

;;

“What the fuck?” Sapnap whispers to Dream when two girls pass by them looking straight out of some period piece. “I thought you said this was decades themed?”

Dream looks just as perturbed, brows furrowed as a girl and a guy dressed like pirates enter after the Victorian girls. “Guess they meant all decades,” he replies.

Sapnap stares at him before they reach the check-in counter where a woman with her face painted like a member of KISS checks their ages and directs them to the room where the prom’s held.

Madonna plays loud over the speakers, and Sapnap eyes a kid who spins his hands around his face while a small group of onlookers watch in awe. He glances over at Dream, who continues to face forward, leading him over to an empty table, undisturbed. When they sit down, Sapnap turns to the dance floor, where the Victorian girls are, twirling and laughing, and where a boy looking straight out of the 80s sways with another who wears a hat like Jamie from Mythbusters and suspenders attached to plaid, fitted pants. Sapnap watches them for another second before turning stiffly to Dream.

“Where are we?” he asks carefully.

“Sapnap,” Dream starts, but a look from Sapnap has his mouth shutting fast. He stares right back before sighing, leaning back in his chair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—I mean, I knew, but I didn’t think it’d—look, we can leave. It’s fine.”

“Well,” Sapnap huffs, dropping his gaze to his lap, where his fingers grip the denim of his jeans tightly, knuckles turning white, “it’s not fine, but—I don’t really want to leave. I like—I wanted to go to prom with you.”

A laugh, and Sapnap looks over quickly to see the 80s boy tugging the Mythbusters hat’s jacket over his shoulders. Sapnap thinks he might be sick.

“Not like that,” he adds.

“Right,” Dream says.

The booming of the bass rattles Sapnap to his core, along with the table. Even the hand Dream has placed on it doesn’t stop it from shaking. Sapnap wonders what would happen if he were to take Dream’s hand. Dream pulls it back and drops it into his lap. Sapnap tightens his hold on his jeans.

“I am sorry,” Dream tells him. “But I didn’t really think you’d mind. We’re friends, Sapnap. Why does where we are have to change that?”

“It doesn’t,” Sapnap replies, but people can misunderstand. People will misunderstand. He tells Dream as much.

Dream frowns, leans forward. Sapnap doesn’t meet his gaze. “Sapnap,” Dream says, “why would they misunderstand?”

Because they match. Because, under the table, their feet knock against each other. Because when Sapnap looks at Dream, the rest of the world disappears, and he’s certain the rest of the world knows it.

“Doesn’t matter,” Sapnap mutters. “They just would.”

Dream says something. It’s lost to the sound of Rihanna, declaring that a bitch better have her money. Sapnap’s foot taps quickly against the floor, and this time, when it brushes up against Dream’s, he readjusts, feet no longer under the table. Dream sighs, resting his chin on his palm. 

Finally, he looks to Sapnap again. “Does it bother you that much?”

“Does what bother me?”

Dream stares at him for a second before looking out at the dance floor. “Them misunderstanding?”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Sapnap asks.

Dream is silent for so long after that Sapnap almost forgets he’s waiting for a response. “No,” Dream says at last. “It doesn’t.”

Sapnap doesn’t know how to reply to that.

They just sit there after that, watching the crowd wax and wane, change based on the song playing. Dream pushes himself up out of his chair when a familiar number starts. He holds out a hand. “Come on.”

Sapnap stares at the hand. “Dude, he says, “what.”

“Dance,” Dream replies. “Come on. Let’s go.”

“What the fuck?” Sapnap lets out a laugh, glancing over at Mythbusters hat and 80s boy. They’re laughing over something on 80s boy’s phone, foreheads resting close together, cheeks flushed pink in the dim light that hangs over their table. He looks back at Dream. “No way.”

“It’s ‘Come on Eileen,’” Dream says, but Sapnap is resolute, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. They hold a short staring contest before Dream sighs, looking away. Sapnap doesn’t even have the chance to puff up at his W before Dream is reaching forward and taking him by the arm, pulling him out of his seat and to the dance floor.

“Dream!” Sapnap argues, trying to pull away, but Dream’s hold on him is lethal and Sapnap is unwillingly pulled into the circle that’s formed, one arm tugged behind Dream’s back by Dream’s free hand, and the other tossed over a girl’s shoulder. She gives him a bright smile before the circle begins to move, slowly, ever so slowly, then quicker.

It’s like a treadmill, Sapnap thinks, watching his feet and making sure not to step on the girl’s sparkly slippers. Her laugh is loud even with the music blasting and Sapnap starts to gain some of her enthusiasm as the chorus hits. And then a laugh comes from behind him, and he can’t help but look over his shoulder. 

Dream is already grinning at him. Sapnap couldn’t stop himself from grinning back even if he tried. The circle speeds up, and soon Dream is a constant cackle in his ear, Sapnap joining in as the group turns this way and that, before they all jump to a stop and kick a foot in the center.

Sapnap is awkward, slightly off-balance the way he holds on to Dream’s back and leans towards the girl, her shorter than him. He’s running out of breath quick too, kicking quicker and quicker before they’re spinning again and again, all smiling, all laughing, some singing, some panting, and Dream brings their heads closer together as they share one more laugh before the song is fading out, and then it’s just them alone, the others retreating back to their seats or to their own friend groups, just Dream and Sapnap breathing in each other’s exhales.

“That was fun,” Sapnap admits, and Dream nods, arm still around Sapnap’s shoulders, his other one eventually coming up to join it. Sapnap still has an arm around Dream, though it’s slipped so his hand rests at the small of Dream’s back. He swallows.

Dream notices his discomfort, and the smile falls from his face. “Sapnap,” he says.

Sapnap shakes his head. “It’s fine.” His fingers curl into the soft leather of Dream’s jacket. “They can misunderstand.”

I want them to misunderstand.

Sapnap looks up at the same time Dream lets go. “What?” he asks. Dream starts to take a step back, but Sapnap doesn’t let go. “No, you don’t get to—Dream, what did you say?”

“I—,” Dream’s eyes are wide, startled, scared, and Sapnap can’t help but think this isn’t fair. He stares Dream down, and eventually, Dream stares back. When he speaks, he can barely be heard over the music, even with the minimal distance between them. “I want them to misunderstand.”

It’s like he took the words straight from Sapnap’s brain, putting them out there for everyone to hear. Sapnap feels sick, and the feeling only grows when his head falls forward to rest on Dream’s chest. “What the fuck,” he says.

“Sorry,” Dream apologizes above him.

“What—no,” Sapnap’s face screws up, even though Dream can’t see, “you don’t get to apologize, dude. What the hell.” Sapnap feels a weight then on his back, hesitant then heavier. Dream’s hands. He closes his eyes. “What the hell,” he repeats.

“Let’s go back to our table,” Dream says. Sapnap nods, standing up straight, but Dream just pulls him into his side then, and Sapnap thinks about resisting, thinks about getting mad, maybe even leaving (but without a car, without Dream, where would he go?), but in the end, he just lets himself fall more into Dream, the other bearing his weight easily, leading them over to the table they had left.

When they sit, Dream stares down at his hands. Sapnap stares at him. “How long have you known?” he asks.

“About what?” Dream replies.

Sapnap shrugs.

Dream studies him for a second before looking back at his hands. “About myself, since maybe always. About you…?” He smiles then, bitter. “Maybe just as long.”

Sapnap sucks in a breath.

Dream looks over. “What about you?”

“I don’t know,” he answers. “I think—I think I didn’t want to know.”

Dream snorts derisively. “With your dad, I wouldn’t want to know either.”

That gets a laugh out of Sapnap, but it’s dry, empty. “Hey,” he defends his dad halfheartedly, “my dad isn’t that bad.”

The bitter smile on Dream’s lips twists into downright acidic.

Sapnap sighs. “I’m glad it’s you.”

Dream looks at him. Sapnap stares back.

“You’re my best friend,” he tells him. “I can tell you anything.”

“Me too,” Dream replies. “I’m glad it’s you too.” And then he frowns, looking out over the crowd. “But I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

Sapnap is too, but he doesn’t tell the other that. Instead, he shrugs. “Could be worse,” he says. “I could hate you right now. But I don’t. I think I feel about you how you feel about me.” The last sentence is hard to get out, like bile in his throat. He hopes Dream doesn’t realize that.

When Dream smiles at him, then, he guesses he doesn’t. “I,” Dream looks back down at his hands, “like you, Sapnap.”

And that’s the truth, isn’t it? Dream likes Sapnap, and Sapnap likes Dream. Now Sapnap just needs to figure out what to do with that.

“I like you too,” he says, and Dream turns to him, eyes wide, as if they hadn’t established this already—maybe, for Dream, they hadn’t, “but I don’t know—I don’t know if this is good for us, Dream.”

“We’re best friends,” Dream starts to respond, but Sapnap cuts him off.

“Exactly.” He pulls his jacket tighter. “I don’t want to lose that.”

“We don’t have to,” Dream replies. “Why can’t we be both?”

“Why isn’t what we are already enough?” Sapnap argues. “I can’t afford to lose you, Dream. You’re my favorite person.”

“You wouldn’t lose me,” Dream denies. “You’re the one that was willing to cut me from your life for losing.”

“We were ten,” Sapnap scowls. “That’s not the same.”

Dream doesn’t reply. He knows it’s not.

The upbeat ABBA song playing does not match the mood that’s settled over their table. Sapnap drags his shoe along the floor. Dream drums his fingers against the table.

“Should we have not said anything then?” Dream asks. “Do we act like this never happened? Because I don’t know if I can do that.”

Sapnap doesn’t think he can either. Nonetheless, he shrugs.

Dream huffs. “Look,” he says, “you’re my best friend. I like you. If we stay friends, I’ll still like you. If we become more,” he swallows, squaring his shoulders, “and that doesn’t work, we’ll still be friends in the end. Okay?”

Sapnap doesn’t entirely believe him, but when he meets Dream’s gaze, Dream looks so determined, so resolute, that Sapnap finds himself echoing an okay. Then the clouds part, and Dream smiles. Sapnap tries to smile back.

The ABBA song ends and a much more recent pop song begins to play, but neither of them move, choosing instead to sit in a still silence that leaves Sapnap wondering what Dream is thinking.

Sapnap squeezes his eyes shut, shoving his curiosity aside to instead gaze out at the dance floor. The girl that was next to him in the circle bounces around three other teenagers, light-colored hair a kaleidoscope of colors in the everchanging club lights. When she spots Sapnap staring, she smiles, throwing up a peace sign. Sapnap gives her a small wave. Their eyes stay locked for another second before she makes a little motion towards Dream and Sapnap looks at him, only to find Dream already looking back. Sapnap sighs before rising from his chair.

“Your turn,” he says, hand already extended out towards the other.

Dream doesn’t hesitate in grabbing his hand and letting Sapnap pull him up.

Sapnap leads them to the dance floor, fully prepared to halfheartedly bop his head to the song playing, but then—and of course it’s just his luck—the minute he steps onto the wooden panels, the song changes to something mellow… and slow.

So very slow.

He turns to Dream, eyes wide in alarm, but all Dream does is smile.

“Don’t back out now,” he says.

Sapnap glares at him. “You wish.”

Dream laughs before putting a hand on Sapnap’s waist and an arm around his neck. Sapnap lets out a harsh breath but doesn’t pull away, just follows Dream’s lead, pulling him close. The emcee is saying something probably absolutely humiliating, but Sapnap ignores the queen (oh God, the emcee is a drag queen, how did he not realize that upon walking in?) in favor of focusing on Dream, on not stepping on his toes, on not bumping into other dancers, on not getting lost in the other’s eyes, however stereotypical it may be.

Dream lowers his head until their foreheads almost touch, and Sapnap is painfully reminded of 80s boy and Mythbusters hat. He looks down to the floor.

“Pandas,” Dream whispers, and Sapnap curses his heart for jumping.

“What?” he replies, still looking down.

“Look at me,” Dream urges.

Sapnap shakes his head, but then the arm around Sapnap’s neck becomes just a hand, and then that hand is traveling up, up over his neck, to his ear, fingers curling around his jaw, forcing Sapnap’s gaze from the floor.

“I’m sorry,” Dream says.

Sapnap finds himself stuck staring into Dream’s eyes. “Why?”

“You didn’t go to prom because I wouldn’t be there, and now we’re at a prom together, and you’re not having fun because I’m here.” His thumb strokes across Sapnap’s cheek—Sapnap hopes he can’t feel the heat under his skin. “So I’m sorry.”

“I’m having fun,” Sapnap replies, automatic.

“Because having me confess me to you and forcing you to dance with me and taking you to a fucking,” he breaks their gaze only to look around demonstratively, “gay prom is fun for you.”

But even with his reply being automatic, Sapnap finds it true. It’s not conventional, and he’s felt vaguely nauseous this entire time, but the dance circle was fun, and just standing here with Dream, swaying back and forth, it’s fun too. And there’s something nice about having everything out in the open. He and Dream like each other.

Wait.

He and Dream like each other. He and Dream like each other. Dream likes him.

“You like me,” Sapnap whispers.

Dream still hears him. “Yeah,” he replies, easy, “I like you a lot.”

“I think I missed that,” Sapnap says, louder. “You like me.”

Dream stares at him. “Yes,” he replies. “I like you.”

Sapnap stares back before he removes his hand from Dream’s waist to put it on his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of Dream’s t-shirt as Sapnap tugs him down into a kiss. Dream’s lips are surprisingly soft for the amount of times Sapnap has caught Dream biting at them, and Dream himself is surprisingly gentle when he brings his other hand up from Sapnap’s waist to cradle his jaw. Sapnap lets out a quiet exhale when they pull apart.

Dream is looking at him, but his gaze is distant, his mind somewhere far away.

Sapnap lets go of his shirt to shove him slightly. “Dream?” he asks, wondering if he might’ve just ruined everything, despite Dream’s insistence that a change in their relationship wouldn’t affect their friendship.

“I think people might misunderstand us now,” Dream says.

Sapnap can’t help it—he laughs. “You think?” And then Dream is laughing too, pulling him in for another kiss even as the song changes and the floor becomes crowded with everyone else coming to dance.

The tension now broken, neither of them suggest leaving the dance floor.

;;

By the time the prom is ending, Sapnap’s feet hurt, and he’s sure his lips are red from the amount of times Dream has kissed him. They’re both giddy with teenage excitement, and Dream is singing a pathetic rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody,” words slurring together and pitch way off.

Sapnap laughs as Dream knocks their heads together, pushing him away with one hand while the other wraps around his waist to pull him closer. “You sound so bad.”

“You love it,” Dream murmurs into his ear, and Sapnap grins even as his cheeks flare red.

“You wish,” he replies.

“I most definitely wish,” Dream says, head now tilted to rest atop Sapnap’s own.

“Did you drink?” Sapnap asks, suspicious, though he’s pretty sure he and Dream only got water. “Are you drunk?”

“You know I’d never drink,” Dream replies before the most shit-eating grin takes over his face. “Actually, I’m just drunk on love.”

Sapnap rolls his eyes. “Now you’re just acting stupid.”

“But I mean it.”

Sapnap looks at him. Dream looks back. Sapnap shakes his head as they reach Dream’s car. “Don’t be dumb.”

“Okay, so maybe not like… love love, but I love you, Sapnap.” Dream leans against the door. “And it could turn into love love one day. If you let it.”

Sapnap stares at him. Dream stares back.

“It’s just a possibility,” he says, hand coming up to pat Sapnap’s cheek. Sapnap continues to stare until Dream leans forward to bump their noses together. “I won’t bring it up again.”

“Next month,” Sapnap finally replies. “Bring it up next month.” He pushes himself away from Dream to go to the passenger side. “Now unlock the car. It’s hot as fuck out here.”

;;

The car ride is spent in an easy silence, though Dream keeps glancing over at Sapnap every once in a while, always looking on the verge of saying something.

Finally, Sapnap snaps. “What is it?”

Dream has clearly been waiting to be asked. “You said next month.”

Sapnap frowns. “Uh, yeah? Why wouldn’t I?”

“So we’ll still be together next month?”

Sapnap’s eyes narrow. “Are you assuming we’re together now?”

“Yes.”

Fuck. He’s right to assume that. So much for Dream being the one to forget their friendship in order to pursue a relationship. Dream knows him too well. (It’s perfect.)

“I love you too,” Sapnap says. “As a friend.” He looks out the window. “But it could be love love one day too.”

He doesn’t need to look over to know Dream is grinning, and when a finger brushes his own over the glovebox, not asking for permission but not not asking for permission, Sapnap can’t stop a grin of his own from spreading across his face and lets Dream lock their hands together.

;;

A knock on the door startles Sapnap in the middle of his studying. He looks up from his notes to see Dream leaning in the open doorway.

Sapnap raises a brow. “Since when have you knocked?”

“Since British exchange students started chewing me out whenever I’d come in without knocking.” Dream smiles at him before looking into the room, green eyes searching.

“George isn’t going to jump out at you from behind the door,” Sapnap says, stretching out in his chair before rising to properly greet his boyfriend. “Besides, he likes you; he’s just a bitch.”

“Of course a bitch like you would say that,” George interrupts, his small frame almost invisible behind Dream, who turns around with a guilty look on his face. “Hi, Dream,” George says, shoving past him to toss his bag in his desk chair and collapse onto his bed. “I don’t like you, by the way.” He lifts his head slightly to look between Dream and Sapnap. “Either of you. I hate you guys.”

“We hate you too,” Sapnap replies cheerily before grinning at Dream and pulling him down into a kiss that Dream eagerly returns.

“Can you not?” George asks, even though they all know he doesn’t really care. “I already feel single enough, thanks.”

“Like you could ever feel single,” Dream teases. “You know nearly everyone here is into you.”

George pushes himself up onto his elbows to stick out his tongue. Dream sticks his own out too.

Sapnap laughs before picking his keys up from off his desk and checking that his wallet is in his pocket. “We’re heading out,” he tells George, who hums and nods, flopping back onto the bed. “Let me know if you want us to pick you up dinner.”

“That’s so sweet of you, Sapnap,” George says, “to go out of your way just to get dinner for me. I didn’t realize I mean that much to you.”

“You mean the world to me, George,” Sapnap replies, even as his hand links with Dream’s and George flips him off. “But seriously, we’ll get you something if you want.”

“It’s fine.” George waves a hand. “Go be in love or whatever. Better somewhere else than where I can see it.”

“True, true,” Sapnap says, even though his favorite hobby nowadays is antagonize George, which sits right under spend time with Dream. 

They leave the Brit alone to head out to Dream’s car, and it’s there that Sapnap finds them imitating the pose they had the night of prom. He hides his smile in Dream’s neck as Dream wraps his arms around his shoulders.

“Hey, Sap,” Dream says.

“Yeah?”

“Remember how you said ‘next month’?”

Sapnap lifts his head slightly to look through the car window. “Yeah.”

“Well, it’s been next month, and then it was the month after that, and the one after that, and then there was—”

Sapnap barely stops himself from rolling his eyes. “I love you, Dream. Now let go of me; I really am hungry right now.”

“Right, of course. Of course,” Dream releases him, “but for the record, I love you too. Like, love love.”

Sapnap shoves him even as a smile begins to show at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, I love love you too.”

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Longing

Chapter 1

Description: Chris Evans becomes obsessed with you when he realises he can't have you. Eager to be with you in some form or the other, he starts writing fanfiction, where both of you are passionately in love with each other. But what happens when his imagination starts to merge with his reality in his subconsciousness?

Warnings: This entire mini-series will contain smut, bad language and angst. ONLY PROCEED IF YOU ARE 18+

This first chapter is inspired by the GIF below from @navybrat817 and @stargazingfangirl18 's ShamelessHoesForChris writing challenge. Click here to know more

A/N: I do not know Chris Evans personally. This fic is a work of imagination and should only be used as such. It doesn't comment on Chris or anybody else personally. It is also not meant to destroy his reputation or paint him in a bad light. I admire the guy and he really seems like a genuinely nice person. Again, I repeat, THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION SO TREAT IT AS SUCH!

A/N 2: I did search quite a lot on the internet and didn't come across a fic like this. Which makes me nervous and also kind of excited that I get to do something unique? Please please give me your criticism and feedback on this! Would love to hear your thoughts.

A/N 3: I have used a few big words throughout the series because this fic is from Chris' POV and we all know that he's a bit of a wordsmith 😅 I had never even heard these words before in my life. So please let me know if I have used them in an incorrect manner. 

My Main Masterlist

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

The best thing about shooting Defending Jacob? Chris got to stay in his house in Boston. The worst part about working on the set? He was currently stuck in a room engulfed in hot, angry flames of fire. The fire had abruptly started due to a short circuit and spread across the set in the blink of an eye. Coughing, Chris doubled down on the floor, his breathing becoming more laboured with each second. 

The smoke stung his eyes as he looked around for a fire extinguisher. He tried calling for help, but only small grunts managed to escape his lips. Just as he was on the verge of losing consciousness, he heard a voice. Your voice.

"Is anyone here?" you called out, your voice faint in his ears. "Hello?" 

Chris tried to shout again, but only sank further towards the floor.

Luckily, you opened the door of his room and found his almost crumpled body on the ground. Using the fire extinguisher, you managed to douse as many flames as you could, while also covering Chris with a thick blanket. As the room was still filled with smoke, you pressed a wet towel on his face, asking him to breathe through his nose. 

Slowly, you managed to drag him out of the room and into the corridor, the fire reduced to embers in most places thanks to your fire extinguisher. Chris being a heavy man, you tried your best to support his weight as much as you could, your body almost stooping to form a right angle.

Just as you thought you might be in the clear, you heard a crack from above. Looking up, you realised that the ceiling was about to cave in and so, on impulse, you pushed Chris out of the way, as portions of the false ceiling fell on you, knocking you unconscious. 

Chris, in his state, vaguely realised what happened, before he lost his balance and fell to the ground a few feet away from you, his left arm stretched towards your limp body, as if reaching out.

Sirens of the firetruck and the ambulance filled the heavy air. A deep groan escaped his lips as he attempted to crawl towards you, a failed effort. Where did it all go so wrong? he thought. I was supposed to be the one to save you angel! You should be falling in love with me!! And break-up with your good for nothing fiancé! 

Overwhelmed with emotions, Chris started drifting off to sleep, your name leaving his lips in the form of a desperate whisper.

🔥

8 MONTHS AGO

Chris met you for the first time at the table read for Defending Jacob. You didn't strike him as anyone special. Being the Junior Assistant Scriptwriter for the series, you were just in the room as a formality. It was your job to jot down the minutes of the meeting, and have the parts of the script marked which were supposed to be changed slightly. 

You managed to stay invisible for more such meetings. An introvert by nature, you kept to yourself even when the shooting started. 

It was in the Week 4 of the shooting when Chris actually started to notice you. He realised you were always absent from his house parties, never stayed around on the set for after-work shenanigans and, you never hung out with any of your crew-mates for a drink.

What really drove his attention towards you were your random acts of kindness. He once saw you feeding a homeless man in the alley behind the set. Unknown to you, it was where Chris often hid from his cast and crew to smoke. 

Then there was the bit with setting up of a mobile blood donation camp on the set, which was completely your idea. He had also seen you distribute fliers for animal adoption centres and NGOs who fought for climate preservation.

You always made sure everyone on the set ate before you did, and the ones who couldn't due to work, you were sure to help them and share their load so they could have lunch.

But one particular incident made him see that you were no ordinary woman. 

It was a particularly tough day on the set. They were shooting the 35-second sex scene between him and Michelle. While these scenes looked easy on the screen, they always made Chris feel uneasy about himself. "What if my body is not upto the mark?" , "I don't want to hurt Michelle in any way" , "God I hope I don't touch her inappropriately by mistake" and more such troubling thoughts clawed at his mind. After the scene finally ended, he felt the lustful eyes of the crew feasting on him, admiring his body on display. 

He hurried towards his van, avoiding to look at anyone, until his eyes met yours for a total of 5 seconds. He expected to see the same smirk to be reflected in your eyes as everyone else's. Instead, he saw a completely different emotion. He saw sadness, sympathy, and most importantly, recognition of his discomfort etched on your face.

After that, Chris started to keep a close eye on you. You always wore comfortable clothes, with loads of pockets. Yet somehow, they always fit you well. He also noticed that you always got your own lunch, refusing to eat the food available on the set. 

A few days after filming the sex scene, he decided to try to speak with you. Palms sweaty, he headed towards you and gently said your name. 

"Hi," he said, and stopped. 

"Hello Mr Evans," you greeted him back, a little surprised that he knew your name. 

He continued to look at you, bright cerulean eyes bearing into yours, apparently lost. You blinked twice, unfazed, and a little uncomfortable, "Can I help you sir?"

Chris shook his head slightly. He was so used to women fawning all over him, that your utter lack of excitement on seeing him deterred him a bit. 

He cleared his throat, a little flustered, *Ahem yeah… I wanted to ask… something… karaoke!" he managed to mumble, "It's karaoke night at my house. Tomorrow. Will you come? At night?"

"Umm… No Mr Evans. I am sorry I will not be able to make it," you politely declined while taking a small step back.

"Oh. Uhh… well we can have it any other night if you want," he cleared his throat again, sweat starting to gather on his forehead as he noticed your movement, "You never visit any of my house-parties."

You smiled a bit, "I like to go home early. I want to spend as much time as I can with my fiancé and my cat."

Chris raised his eyebrows at that revelation, "Fiancé? I… I don't see a ring."

"That's because there isn't one," your smile widened as you pulled the chain around your neck and revealed a locket. It was an intricately carved sunflower locket, with small, delicate curls nestled inside the petals. 

Chris glanced at it with disdain. It looked hand-made, cheap, "Is that… is it made from clay?"

"Yes Mr Evans," you beamed at the locket, admiring it with love and pride, "My fiancé is a potter and he made this himself. It took him over 6 hours just to carve all the petals. But he still made it because he knows how much I love sunflowers."

"So he's too poor to give you an appropriate ring?" Chris snapped at you. 

Offended, you looked at him in shock and anger as he continued. "You deserve someone who can afford to give you an expensive engagement ring. Not some cheap craft project."

You grit your teeth at his comment, "Unlike some people, I don't look at the price of the gifts, I look at their value. While this," you held the locket in front of his eyes, "is worthless for you, it is priceless for me."

You placed the locket back inside your shirt and walked away. Chris stood rooted at the spot, biting his cheek hollow. He hadn't meant to drive you away. He had just wanted you to see him as a prospective partner. 

As he turned towards his trailer, an idea popped into his head.

🔥

Next Friday saw you and your fiancé walk into the bowling alley. The production house had organised a "Bring Your Partner to Work Day" and you both were excited to step out of your routine lives. 

A few people on the set recognised your fiancé Aiden from his YouTube channel. Kenneth, an Assistant Set Designer, drooled over him, "Maaahhnnn! I love your pottery videos! They are so calming dude. How do you make them so relaxing?"

The ever shy and soft-spoken Aiden gushed at the compliment, turning a shade of red which you always found adorable. Aiden was almost the same height as you, with a lean figure and a kind, freckled face. Your friends always told you that Aiden's looks were nothing to brag about, but you disagreed. Because for you, this man was the most handsomest, cutest and sexiest person in the world. 

And you knew he felt the same way about you. That's why, even after being together for almost 5 years now, you two still looked at each other with heart eyes.

As the party progressed, you made sure to avoid Chris, and so far, you were successful. That was until he softly said your name. 

With dread in your stomach, you and Aiden turned around to face the man. Aiden knew of your previous encounter with Chris, and tried to square his shoulders as much as possible, but Chris' towering physique and personality literally made it impossible for Aiden to appear tough.

You gave Chris a curt nod and received a sweet smile in response. 

"I believe I owe you an apology," he confessed, "I am sorry. My behavior that day was inexcusable." He paused for reaction, but looking at your hesitant faces, he continued, "It was quite a hectic day on the set and I guess I took it all out on you," he looked towards you, "You know I am capricious by nature. It takes me some time to become gregarious. But," he raised his hands in the air, "I repeat, the way I acted was inexcusable. I am sorry."

He extended his arm towards Aiden, "You are a porter I believe."

"Potter, sir," Aiden corrected while shaking his hand and introducing himself.

You bit your tongue, knowing that Chris was mocking you with his false apology. 

He invited Megan to join the conversation, "Megan loves handmade ceramics. Maybe she would be interested in your work."

Introductions were made again, and as the conversation pursued, it arrived at the topic of your marriage.

"Have you guys decided on a date yet?" asked Megan as Chris looked at you. 

"We are planning to get married as soon as the shooting ends for DJ," you smiled.

"Oh really? Wow that's… unusual," Megan tried her best to hide her surprise.

"We don't know exactly when will the shooting end," Chris said with a frown on his face.

"That's not an issue Mr Evans. We are actually planning to get married at the courthouse," revealed Aiden.

"You know if money is an issue then we would be more than happy to help you guys out," Chris offered in a sincere tone. 

"Oh no no Mr Evans. Money isn't an issue," you clarified, "We have decided to donate the money we had intended to spend on the wedding."

"But thank you so much for the generous offer, we really appreciate it," Aiden added with a sincere smile.

"You know a lot of couples are doing that nowadays. It's a trend I believe," Megan commented, "Where are you going to make the donation?"

"The local orphanage where I grew up. We both love kids and, it just seemed to be the perfect choice," Aiden beamed at you. 

You mirrored his expression while Chris scowled. "I think everybody should get the wedding of their dreams, and you" he stated, pointing towards you, "deserve much more than a courthouse wedding. Don't you want to get married in a beautiful church? Walk down the aisle in a gorgeous white gown? And get married to a man who can actually fulfill your wishes and desires?"

Squaring your shoulders, you looked at Chris dead in the eye, "I am marrying the man of my dreams Mr Evans. The wedding ceremony doesn't matter to me. What does matter is the beautiful life we will begin together. Now if you will excuse us," you linked your arm with Aiden's, "we need to leave."

Chris watched you leave as Megan tried to distract him with something else. Tonight did not go the way he had anticipated.

He left the party shortly after you, directly heading for his home. Standing under the cold shower, he tried to reason with himself. He was acting out of character. There was no reason for his behavior. You had made it ample clear that you loved your fiancé and that nobody in the world could sway you.

Then why was he so hell-bent on claiming you as his?

Because she's perfect for you, a voice answered him. 

Yeah, but she belongs to someone else, he argued.

So what?, the voice urged, Fight for her. You saw her wimp of a fiancé. You can break him into two pieces without breaking a sweat. She is made for you. Just you, and nobody else.

"I… Just… No," Chris stammered loudly as he shook his head, trying to get rid of the voice in his mind.

He tried to meditate, but it didn't work. Dodger too, was unable to distract him. Even his books on self-help and mental health were of no use.

As a last resort, he opened his laptop, but his fingers halted at the search bar, the cursor blinking back at him.

He was too tempted to search for you again. The last time he had Googled you, he had been satisfied with the results. You often volunteered with a few NGOs, coordinated multiple donation drives, visited orphanages and taught underprivileged children. His heart had melted at a particular photograph- you were holding an 8-month-old girl in your arms, while looking over a painting drawn by a 4-year-old boy as the child looked up at you with a toothy smile. 

It reminded him of everything he wanted to have, but still couldn't. 

He closed his eyes and started kneading his forehead with his palms. Everybody he knew always only had the best things about him. Right from Scarlett to Mark to Olivia to every fucking person he had ever worked with, everybody said he deserved to have a loving wife, a stable family. 

And yet, here he was, on a Friday night, home alone with a beer bottle, on the verge of anxiety. 

Was it just anxiety though?

Who the fuck is Aiden and why does he deserve to be with her? the voice in his head was back.

They love each other, they want to get married, Chris reasoned.

He doesn't hold a candle next to you, the voice persisted, People love money more than they love others. She will come to you. But you need to let her know you are available. You need to take her to-

"No," Chris interrupted the voice loudly, "No. This is unhealthy. No."

Reaching for his phone, he searched for his therapist's number, when the voice chuckled, You really think a shrink is going to help you with this? Eh? They are only going to ask you to fuck another pussy, or read more books. And I will be damned before you touch another book about trees. 

Chris shook his head again, but in vain. Unable to find the number in his contacts, he turned to Google for the second time that night and started searching for therapists in his area. The voice tut-ted, Yeah, as if the psycho doctor is going to shut their trap about Chris Evans crying over a girl.

Chris almost crushed his bottle in frustration. He couldn't let the voice take over. Not now. Not after working his ass off to get where wanted in his career. Taking a deep breath, he looked at the screen again and came across the headline- "Why Do People Write Fanfiction?" The word fanfiction seemed vaguely familiar to him. He was going to ignore the article and scroll downwards, but the brief underneath the headline made him stop- …mostly, people write fanfiction to stay in touch with the characters they love," says leading Psychologist Andrea Williams.

Intrigued, he opened the article and started reading. Then he opened another, and another and by the time he was done, he had read 6-7 articles on the concept of fanfiction and what it entailed.

Sighing, he opened a new word document. He was reluctant to type a letter, let alone a whole fictional story. He had tried everything and yet, you chose to occupy a rent-free space in his mind. 

Now all he needed was a reference.

He minimised the document, and opened a new tab on his browser. His hesitant fingers typed the words - Chris Evans Fanfiction - into the search bar, and he instantly winced.

Millions of search results were displayed before him, and as he read the descriptions of each one of them, he realised that 99% of these stories were porn. There was no sugar-coating it. On the 5th page of the search results, he luckily found a story sans the erotica. It was a cute one-shot about him going on a first date with the reader. He read it with squinted eyes, afraid that a sex scene might jump out of the blue, but luckily, nothing of the sort happened. 

Chris liked reading it. It was an innocent story filled with romance. 

But the only problem? It was written from the reader's point of view. He checked a few others, and realised they were all written from the women's perspective, not his.

He sat back in his chair, turning his head such that he was looking at the ceiling, contemplating his options. 

You want her, the voice whispered.

Reluctantly, he typed the first word that came to his mind. Your name. 

Chris rested his chin on his palm, wondering where to start. If this were fiction, would tonight have gone different? Would you have visited his house for karaoke that night? 

Tapping his fingers on the desk, he bit his tongue in thought. Thinking it was better to start at the beginning, he started typing from his POV-

The first time I saw her I thought she was pretty. I saw her during meetings and the shooting. Then one day I saw her giving food to a homeless man-

Deleting his words, Chris shook his head. This was insane! Right? You were a real human being and it was unethical of him to write this! He needed to learn to handle his feelings. 

If you don't have the balls to fight for her, then be with her in the stories you write. Grow a spine Evans, whispered the insulting voice.

Hesitating, he tried to write another paragraph, which ended up getting deleted. 

Try again, the voice coaxed him. Pour your heart into this. Write better. 

Taking a sip of the beer, Chris started typing again-

It was lunchtime when I saw her arranging some equipment on the table. Her back was facing me as I carefully approached her, afraid to startle her. I breathed in her scent, light, floral and fresh, before whispering her name.

She turned around, a bit surprised to see me, but she smiled nevertheless. Oh gosh her smile. I had seen her smile a few times on the set, but in person, it took my breath away. 

"Hi," I managed to greet her shyly. She matched my response.

"I was wondering if you would like to sing karaoke with me? There's a karaoke party tonight at my house if you would like to come," I asked her hopefully.

Her expression turned remorseful as she apologised, "I cannot come Mr Evans. My fiancé won't let me."

Imagine my surprise when I found out about her fiancé. "I didn't know about your fiancé. Why won't he let you come?" I asked her, concerned as she started sniffing a bit.

"He's… he's very strict Mr Evans. He doesn't like it when I go out with my fri-friends or co-workers," she shared between her light sobs.

My heart broke into pieces on hearing her confession. I had often noticed her taciturn behaviour on the set, but I had no idea about the reason behind it.

I raised my hands to cup her face. I was itching to wipe her tears with my lips, but instead, I used my thumbs. 

"I want to help you. Please let me," I requested.

"Nobody can help me Mr Evans. I am stuck with a monster." She pulled a chain from underneath her shirt and I got a glimpse at the marks on her neck. "Aiden gave me this chain and locket instead of an engagement ring. He said it will be better than a ring. And now he-" she started sobbing harder. I pulled her into my chest, running my right hand through her hair as my left hand soothed her back.

"And now he uses it as a leash," my angel whispered, horrified, "he says I do not deserve a ring."

I hugged her tighter and thankfully, she buried her face in my chest, "You are no longer stuck with him. Are you listening to me?" I bent my face to bring my lips near her ears, "I will make sure that you are free of him."

She shook her head, reluctantly pulling away from me, "No Mr Evans. I cannot-"

"Yes you can," I interrupted her. "You are going to come to my house for karaoke tonight. Message Aiden right now, and tell him that I will be dropping you home. Okay?"

After some coaxing, she agreed. I held her close as she typed out the message, her hands shaking around her mobile phone. Finally she clicked on the SEND button.

I brushed a kiss on her forehead, "Wait for me in the back alley after the shoot, okay? I will pick you up from there."

She nodded gratefully in response.

I couldn't wait for the shoot to be over that day. In my eagerness, I even messed up a few takes, mumbling over my lines like an idiot. But eventually, I got through the day. 

I was excited when I picked her up after the shoot. I could see she was nervous and maybe a little bit scared, but she still entered my car anyway. So I made small talk with her and tried to put her mind at ease.

Finally, when we reached my house, she was in awe. 

"This is the most beautiful house I have ever seen Mr Evans," she gasped as I led her inside, "I don't think I have ever seen anything like it before!"

I chuckled, "I am happy you like it. It… it just feels empty sometimes, you know? I find loneliness ubiquitous in this house."

You looked at her puzzled expression and smiled. "Ubi-what was that word Mr Evans?" 

"Ubiquitous," I replied, "it means something that is present and is found everywhere."

"Ahh okay," she nodded, "thank you for teaching me."

"I will accept your gratitude only on one condition."

She tilted her head ever so slightly, "And what would that be Mr Evans?"

I smiled as I slightly bent down and held her hand, "You need to start calling me Christopher."

Visibly flustered, my angel looked down at her feet. "I-I can't Mr Evans," she said in a low voice.

"Why can't you?"

"I respect you too much sir," she confessed.

"Hey," I gently nudged her forehead with mine, "I want you to say my name. Please?" 

I stared into her eyes as she met mine. God.

There was something about her eyes that was absolutely riveting. The depth of her eyes pulled me in towards her as I read the plethora of emotions hidden within them. Her gaze searched my face for malice, deceit, but only found love and trust in return.

I slowly cupped her face as her breath hitched in her chest. I could feel my own heart race. Bringing my face as close as I could to hers, I whispered, the distance between our lips fast closing, "Please."

She parted her lips ever so slightly. I felt her warm breath on mine as she obliged, "Christopher."

I closed my eyes as I heard the most melodious symphony, my name draped in her sweet voice.

I dipped my head to kiss her, feel the shape of her lips, but she stepped back.

"I-I am st-still engaged Chris-Christopher," she stammered.

I straightened myself, my hands no longer cupping her face, "I understand. I am sorry. Would you like-"

Before I could finish, a car honked outside. While I was curious at the intrusion, her eyes widened with fear. 

"That's him," she gasped, "Aiden is here. He found me."

"How is that possible?"

"He has a location app installed on my phone through which he tracks my location," she revealed, visibly shaking at the thought of greeting her fiancé.

"Stay here. You will be safe inside. Let me handle him," I said, squeezing her shoulders.

I walked out of the house and towards the car. The vehicle didn't look in good shape, it's owner even more so.

Aiden manually rolled down his window and spat on the ground. Fumes of cheep alcohol and stale cigarette smoke escaped through the window. "Where is she?" he hollered.

"That's not your concern anymore. She's breaking up with you," I crossed my arms and stood facing him. "If you know what's good for you, you will leave her alone and stay out of her life."

Aiden exited the car at that threat, the door of the vehicle rattled as he opened it. "She said that?" he scoffed, "Color me surprised, I thought the little mouse had no fight left in her. Bring her out here. I want to hear," he wriggled a finger at me, "whatever the fuck you are saying from her own fucking mouth."

"Not going to happen Aiden. You followed her here against her own wishes. Now scoot off before I call the cops," I warned.

"You think I will be scared of some Hollywood prick who shits diamonds?" he sneered. 

"No. But you should be scared of the law. You are currently harassing the owner of this private property, not to mention you have clearly abused your girlfriend mentally, emotionally and physically. So be sensible," I took a step towards him, "and fuck off."

"STOP," she shouted as she trusted towards us. She stood in front of me, as if to guard me from her monster of a fiancé, "Please don't hurt him. I will come with you. Just let him be," she pleaded with him as he smirked. 

Before he could react, I pulled her behind me, making sure my body was shielding her from Aiden.

"She's a gold-digging bitch. You stay away from her," he pointed at me as he tried to reach her. 

I pushed him away once and kept my hand on his weak, thin torso. Turning my head, I asked her for the last time, "Are you sure you want to go with him? I can save you. I will protect you, provide for you and keep you happy!" I urged her.

She looked at me with hope and helplessness. Slowly, she glanced at Aiden who looked like he was ready to commit murder. Sobbing uncontrollably, she removed the chain with the sunflower locket and threw it at his feet. 

"Leave me alone," she managed to mumble at him.

Furious, Aiden growled and tried to pounce at her. Fortunately, I intervened on time and punched his sorry excuse of a face into the ground. 

She gasped as Aiden fell with a thud. Embarrassed, he slowly got up and dusted himself, muttering under his breath as he sat inside his wreck of a car. 

"Don't bother coming back to gather your stuff! I am burning it all tonight you cock-sucking bitch!" and with that outburst, Aiden was finally gone.

She was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably at what had just transpired. I wrapped her in my arms to let her know she was safe. Within moments, I felt her ease into my body. 

I closed my eyes and smiled, my nose buried into her hair. My angel was safe. My angel was mine.

Chris blinked his eyes as he re-read his story. He already felt a whole lot lighter, his anxiety at ease, and mind exhausted. Clicking on SAVE, he finished the last of his beer and went to sleep, hoping that this was the end to his problems. Little did he know about the horrors that awaited him, behind the door he had just opened by writing that fictional story.

__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo

Chris Evans and his characters taglist: @onetwo3000

This story: @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @carpediemm-18

(If you guys don't want to be tagged in this, just let me know. No hard feelings 😊)

Taglists are open! Just comment, send an ask or a message!

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Two

(Just an idea of the gifts I pictured)

Louis texts

Harry texts

Harry woke up on the tour bus feeling it move underneath him. He groaned burying his face in the pillows for a few minutes. The tour bus was the same as any other tour bus except the backroom was converted into a bedroom a few years back. The bunks were for his band and the bedroom was his. The original story when it got out was that it was for Harry's many women companions no matter how many times Harry denied it. Rolling over he grabbed his phone and saw he had a new message in the Anonymous app. He unlocked his phone and went to the app and saw it was from Louis.

Why volcano boarding?

Harry's lips twitched before he typed a reply.

Volcano ash stains are impossible to get out.

Harry watched the screen for a minute before locking the phone and rolling out of bed. He headed to the bathroom to shower and to get dressed for a day of traveling. When his phone went off he grabbed it and checked the message.

Why do it? Lost a bet didn't you?

No.

Maybe.

Okay so yes, but it looked like fun.

And paragliding?

Lost a bet.

Skydiving?

Lost a bet.

Bungee jump?

Got dared.

Double or triple?

...triple.

Brutal mates

Tell me about it. They didn't even do it with me!

Horrible mates, you've got. What about mountain climbing?

Unfortunately, that was my fault.

Figured why not...I now know why not.

Yeah? What's the biggest reason?

I'm scared of heights.

The harness digs into your balls.

Pretty sure I'm sterile now.

So what brought you to Anonymous?

An entire bottle of Wine.

I don't have many friends and haven't been able to properly date, and I'm currently traveling right now. I'll be back in England in six months and I don't know I guess I am a hopeless romantic who thought this was a good idea after a bottle of wine.

Yeah? Where are you traveling?

Different locations. Currently in Germany heading to Hamburg.

"Hey, Tommo your cereal is getting soggy." Louis jumped and looked away from his phone to look at Liam.

"What?"

"Your cereal. It'll get soggy."

"Oh. Right." Louis turned away and went back to texting Harold back but he made sure to shove a spoonful of coco pops into his mouth.

"Who are you talking to? New guy?" Louis hummed distractedly, "can I have some if your coco pops?" Louis hummed again as he slid his thumb over the keys before he realized what Liam just asked.

"What? No!" Louis looked to Liam, but it was too late as Liam was smirking and eating a spoonful of coco pops.

"Did hell freeze over or do we have a hidden box if coco pops?" Zayn asked walking into the kitchen

"Louis has a boy he's distracted by and I took advantage." Liam said feeding his fiance a spoonful of the cereal.

"Distracted enough to let you have coco pops? That's a good sign. Who is he?"

"No one. I'm hiding my coco pops again." Louis grabbed the box and held it to his chest then he looked at his phone again laughing at Harold's message.

"I have to head into work, but I'll see you, lads, later." Louis set his coco pops box down on the island and headed to the door slipping his Van's on grabbing his keys while replying to Harry.

Have to head into work. Keep me updated on that snack thief and I'll text when I can.

I'll send hourly updates.

***

Messaging Louis became one of his favorite things to do, he was often distracted by the sound of his phone going off. 8 out of 10 times it was Louis and the 2% it wasn't always made his excitement go down even if just for a moment. He hasn't told Louis he was Demisexual or a virgin yet, but not because he was scared he'd leave the conversation, but because it has never been brought up before. Truly.

He would send pictures of beautiful views to Louis and famous landmarks and Louis would return the favor with the picture of the Manchester sky. Either it is raining or sunny, Louis always had a sarcastic message to go with it. It was almost an unspoken agreement to not send selfies to one another. He doesn't know how it became a thing, but it was.

Louis would often send pictures of what he was doing like if he was doing the dishes or if he was at work then it was of the kids he watched at the daycare. The video game controller if he was playing with his housemates, or if they ordered pizza he'd send him a picture of a slice and ask if Harry wanted Louis to save him some. Harry would do the same and send him pictures of his own game he was playing with his mates on the tour bus, he'd send him a picture of his meals at restaurants. If he was playing the guitar he'd send him a picture of his Gibson.

For some reason it worked for them, it satisfied them in a way. Harry has been debating whether or not to give Louis his actual phone number so they didn't have to rely on the app, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it for some reason. He did however find himself buying Louis things from the local shops and gift shops. When his backroom got a bit too crowded in Japan, and because he was feeling bad about the time difference he went to the post office and got a box then paid for the fastest shipping to Manchester after buying a postal box for Louis Tomlinson. The security question was What is the color of Harold's Gibson guitar?

Louis arrived at the postal office still confused as to why Harry had asked him to get his mail for him. It took a few days for Harry to convince him, but eventually, he figured it couldn't hurt and he would just drop it off at the listed address anyway. He really liked Harry. He was funny and Louis had a distinct impression that he was extremely hot and he couldn't wait for them to share selfies. He couldn't wait to share phone numbers and calls and maybe even facetime.

"Name please?" The desk worker asked

"Louis Tomlinson. I'm picking up." Louis told the man who nodded and typed something into his computer

"There is a security question. What is the color of Harold's Gibson?" The man was just as confused as Louis had been at first until he heard the question

"It's a dark blue with a hummingbird." Louis told him

"He just said blue so here is the key."

"Thank you." Louis headed to the number on the key ring tag finding one of the larger boxes. He had half a mind to take back his agreement, but headed to the box and unlocked it. Sure enough, there sat a 20x20x20 box, but instead of Harry's name, it was actually addressed to Louis Tomlinson. He turned the box to read the label and his jaw dropped in shock when he realized Harry had sent it from Japan.

"That lying asshole." Louis said even though he was grinning and was kind of pleased in a way that Harry was so thoughtful. They hadn't talked about being exclusive to one another, but neither of them has talked to anyone else and they told the other one that. Louis had a feeling that Harry wasn't the type to just message five guys and Louis, after a week of talking to Harry stopped replying to the others. He headed to the desk with the box in his arms to return the key, but the man shook his head.

"It’s under a six-month rental. The key is for you to keep trying not to lose it." Louis nodded trying not to get too pleased that Harry was planning on sending him more things. He packed the box on his passenger seat then headed home eager to open his gift. When he got to the house he walked inside with the help of his ass and hips.

"Why do you have a box?" Liam asked curiously

"Because I do." Louis said as he set the box on the coffee table and opened his phone taking a picture of it and sending it to Harry. It was 9am in Manchester so in Japan, it was 5pm so Harry should be awake for another few hours. Some days he was busy though and hardly able to message which Louis understood if he was on a worldwide vacation. Louis wouldn't want to chat all that much either.

"Japan? From Harold?"

"Yeah, the little lying jerk." Louis locked his phone and tossed it to the couch before heading to the kitchen to grab a knife.

"Didn't he just arrive there though?"

"Yeah, about three days ago why?"

"You realize how much international shipping is? How much fast international shipping cost?" Louis paused and looked at Liam, "he must be well off."

"I bet it's daddy's credit card." Zayn said as he sat on the couch with Niall

"There's nothing wrong with having well off parents. Leave him alone. I actually like this one."

"Sorry Lou... you're right now open the box so we can see what he thought ya. Bet the insides are not as pricey as the shipping." Louis rolled his eyes at the gentle teasing before he cut the tape.

He opened the flaps and saw an envelope on top of the tissue paper that was hiding the contents of the box. Louis grabbed the envelope and opened it, pulling out a few pieces of paper that were folded together. Unfolding the letter he saw a messy, but somehow neat handwriting on the pages.

Louis,

I am so glad that my wine drunk mind led me through this really weird path of meeting you. You have brought a lot of joy in my life that I hadn’t completely realized I was missing. My friends and my family are all talking about how much I have changed since talking to you. You are hilarious, sarcastic, caring, and always seem to be one step ahead of me.

I'm sure the worker told you the box will be open for six months, I plan on sending a lot of things to you along my travels as long as we keep talking. I know we have exactly talked about exclusiveness and where this is heading despite both of us looking for settling down soon. I realize my situation makes it hard to meet and understand each other and I want you to understand more and more as I begin to trust you.

I hope you understand when I say I would like this to be between us. You see I am frequently in the public eye. Magazines, websites, articles, you name it. It's always been hard to meet people who are genuinely interested in me as a person either being friends or more. I don't have many close friends who I completely trust, I have a few and they're all very trustworthy, but a lot of people I have thought were my friends have used me in some way either for money or publicity.

I do not however believe you would do such a thing which is why I am telling you this. As much as I would like to completely trust you with everything, I can not and for that, I am truly sorry. I hope you understand because talking to you has been amazing and the highlight of this trip. Before I am home you will know the complete truth and hopefully, you will understand what being with me would entail in your normal lives.

Anyway, I bought you some things I have found around the local shops and gift shops. Some are cheesy crap that I thought was a good laugh while others were thought out and meaningful. I hope.

Yours,

Harold

Louis was only a tad confused, but after a second read through it made more sense. Louis folded the letter up and slipped it into the envelope ignoring the looks he was receiving before he pulled back the tissue paper. Everything was neatly and carefully wrapped in bubble wrapping even what Louis thought was a stuffed teddy which was ridiculous but cute in a way. He pulled the first item out and undone the bubble wrap revealing a Teddy bear as he thought with the German flag on the white shirt. Louis grinned as he fixed the shirt.

"Wow, a five-pound teddy. Impressive." Niall said

"Oh stop there's more in here he said there's a mix of cheesy cliche things and meaningful things. I find it cute."

And Louis meant that as he set the Teddy on the couch to grab the next Teddy. All the teddys were on top of the other items so he went through Poland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Japan, and Russia teddy bears. All the same bear and after Louis had lined them up he took a picture of them and sent them to Harold.

"I already don't like you two together." Zayn said

"Oh let Louis get spoiled. It's cute." Liam said hitting his fiance, "what else did he get you? T-shirts?" Louis glared at him as he debated which item to grab next.

There were a few boxes that had the German flag sticker on the bubble wrap so he grabbed those. He knew when they started talking Harry was almost leaving Germany so he was a little surprised Harry bought something from the country. What he unwrapped was boxes of German chocolate and German teas. Then there were boxes of natural wooden toys safe for children and Louis grinned knowing those were for the daycare that Louis had told Harry he bought toys for regularly. He honestly couldn't wait to open those boxes with the kids and test them out so he set those off to the side making a new pile.

He then moved on to Denmark flag items which were a simple black striped vase with a note that said ''Kähler Ceramics-For Your Future Flowers''. Following the vase was a Nisse souvenir, a little mermaid figurine, Danish chocolates of course, and Danish knitted sweaters just big enough for him to snuggle into which he had told Harry he liked to do often on cold winter days.

Moving onto Norway there were more sweaters which Louis was not complaining about one bit. They were all warm and big and he knew he'd wear them often. There were some Norwegian books printed in English that fit what he liked to read. Then there was of course the Norwegian chocolate.

After Norway was Russia and the first thing Louis pulled out was a Matryoshka doll, a few beautiful Russian lacquer boxes, a few birch bark crafts, and a lot of Russian sweets and chocolate. There was a large item that had the Russian flag sticker, but Louis could get to it yet so he moved on to Japan.

The Japanese souvenirs and gifts were a beautiful set of chopsticks that looked more for display than actual eating, a few Kendama toys, a few Koma toys, a Maneki Neko, a Japanese folding fan, a few different Daruma dolls, a Wagasa, and last some sweats and chocolate.

Finally able to get the last item out which was the main reason the box had to be so big. Multiple sticky notes were saying to grab it from the bottom and to be GENTLE. Louis was grinning as he bent over and grabbed the little edges that had arrows pointing to them in sticky notes.

"Need help?" Niall asked

"He says to be gentle not that it's breakable so hopefully not." Louis very carefully pulled out the gift. Niall moved the box away letting Louis set it on the coffee table.

He gently began unwrapping the smallest piece revealing a beautiful teapot and immediately he knew. He knew exactly what this was and he was going to kill him, he was going to murder Harold as he unwrapped the matching tray moving on to what he now knew to be a Samovar.

When it was revealed it was gorgeous and Louis didn't know if he wanted to cry or scream or faint. He immediately grabbed the Samovar and headed into the kitchen pouring water into the kettle and putting tea leaves into the teapot. He then plugged the Samovar into the outlet and turned it to its highest setting letting the water boil. Once that was down he poured the boiling water into the teapot and then the tea into a mug all in the manner of 12 minutes. Louis moaned shamelessly after the first sip of hot strong tea.

"So..it makes tea?" Niall asked

"It keeps water simmering so I never run out of hot water for my tea. I've been wanting one for years, but they cost hundreds of- oh that bastard."

"LOUIS HAS A RICH BOYFRIEND!" Liam shouted teasingly, making Louis glare at him as he grabbed his phone off the couch seeing Harry had messaged him back after he sent him the two photos.

Thought they were cute and hoped you'd like the cheesiness of it.

We need to talk about that last gift Harold.

No, we don't.

Yes, we do.

Nope.

Yes.

No. Absolutely not. Not talking about it...do you like it?

It's beautiful and lovely and I've already made some tea.

Good. So there's nothing to talk about then.

No more gifts!

😳😳😟😟😦😦🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😨😨😰😰😥😥😢😢😭😭😭

Did you just send emojis explaining your sadness over my text?!?

Yes. I'm sending more for December. Your birthday is Christmas Eve Louis, I can't ignore that!

Well, how am I supposed to send you gifts if you're traveling?

Easily. You don't. 😁😁

😐🤨

😇😇

🤨🤨

(The story gets better after this chapter I promise.)

[tender-history]

Fic Plotting 101: How I Start from an Idea.

Hullo, hi, welcome! It’s Plotting 101 with Dee: Part One!

 Before we get started, here’s why I made this post:

 1) I get a lot of CCs asking how to approach plotting, pacing and especially story flow, and I wanted to link them all to something useful,

2) I see a lot of people wanting to write plot but unsure how to approach it because it can be overwhelming,

3) Google Searching ‘how to plot’ can be EXTREMELY scary.

 Let’s take Number 3 first. If you’re going to Google ‘how to plot’, you’re going to end up with advice on everything ranging from ‘don’t plot’ to six sheet spreadsheets with fifty columns each that wants you to put down everything from your character’s eye color to what exactly they think of instant noodles. You’ll end up with diagrams, beat sheets, templates, storyboards, and find guides that range from six-step plotting techniques to fifty-steps. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t follow that method - sometimes, if you’re a person who likes character design and questionnaires a lot, you’ll love that method. But I’m not like that, and a lot of writers I know aren’t like that either. There’s nothing I hate more than some spreadsheet asking me my character’s weight and height. And if you go down that road, chances are that you’ll just go down the rabbit hole of intricately designing your characters and settings for AGES instead of actually writing anything at all.

 So - if not through spreadsheets or beat-sheets, how DO you plot?

 If you ask me, the best plotting method is to do WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.

 How do you find what works for you? You try things. I tried many different ways of plotting before I decided what worked for me. So this is going to be less a guide on how to plot and more an explanation of the ways I plot, with the hope that maybe you can find something in here to help you.

 > For me, step ONE is the IDEA.

 This is your big shiny nugget. Your driving force. This is EXTREMELY important, because no one idea is equal to another.  Some ideas are better, because they can help you do something unique, something only you can do, which makes you stand out. For the sake of demonstrating this whole thing, let’s take The Tender History of Tides. Tender History lived on my Ideas folder in my Notes app for months before I began writing it. This was my one-line quick jot-down: ‘what if I wrote non-royalty historical fantasy set in Joseon Korea?’

 Done before? Yeah. Can be done in a unique way? Heck yeah.

 Your idea is very very important because it’s the axis on which you’ll pivot your entire plot. It’ll grow and develop and change if you just give it some thought.

 So, plotting suggestion #1 right here: Keep an Ideas folder. You WILL forget your idea, however shiny it is. Keeping it all in one place helps in more than one way: 1) You know it won’t disappear from your mind, 2) Sometimes ideas can overlap, come together, and turn into a whole new story.

 For Tender History, the historical fantasy set in Joseon Korea idea very, very quickly merged with another idea I’d had: taegi dark-fic with sea-monster Tae and monster-hunter Yoongi. They were disparate thoughts, things I thought of at different times, things I then put together to create something more unique than what they would have been individually.

 I often generate ideas this way. I’ll consult my Ideas folder for thoughts I’ve had in the past, then see if they can be combined with something else to make a better shiny.

 Few examples:

 1) vhope magic shop au + but what if the whole thing is set in a game arcade?

2) taegi vampire au + but what if this was set in the fashion world?

3) vmin library au + but what if they went to a magical school?

 Combination is one way of idea generation. Other ways of idea generation that I sometimes use:

 > Use images. Go on Pinterest, check out some aesthetics, let your imagination run wild.

> Use online prompters. There are so many prompt generators floating around! For Fantasy, I use Seventh Sanctum sometimes (they have hundreds of different sort of prompt generators, and some are really good if you’re stuck on banal things like naming, or a quick character design). For fan fiction, there are prompt bots on Twitter. You can even google writing prompts, there are several websites that offer one per day, which you can then use to kick start your imagination.

 > Now you have your idea. Step TWO, for me, is developing the idea.

 This is the step where you can really stand out in the crowd when it comes to plotting. It’s great having a unique idea, but this is the part where you flesh it out.

 Here’s how I do that:

> Scribble down a skeleton of what you think the story will be: In my case, for this Taegi fic, the skeleton looked something like this:

taegi, yoongi is a detective, tae is a supernatural being of some sort, setting is joseon korea, time period is (???), wintry, monsters and murders, dark, atmospheric, there’s a romance and it’s both soft and dangerous, side: noble seokjin, scholar namjoon, doctor jimin (?). they’re in a village and there are these murders and everyone is keeping secrets. 

This, as you see, is a ramble. It’s just whatever’s in my head, being committed to paper. Now, plotting is WORK. Putting what’s up there - that ramble, that mess of ideas - into a functioning, well-paced, structured, organized plot requires you to put work into it. It’s not easy. But it’s a lot of fun. And when it starts coming together, you really feel very good about your writing and your story!

So, moving on to the actual work now:

> Write a 250 word pitch of the story. Organize your ramble into something coherent, meaningful and easy to absorb. Imagine that this is exactly like the back blurb on a book. The back blurb on a book is meant to entice you to read it. IF it’s enticing enough for you to read, then you can imagine that it might be enticing to a reader. But first - you have to make it enticing for YOU. As the writer, YOU have to feel like, ok, this is gonna be a killer story if I tackle it.

 The objective of this pitch is two-fold:

1) You have to be able to tell three things from it: the idea, the characters, and the main conflict.

2) A complete STRANGER - i.e., someone who has no idea about your story - should be able to look at this pitch and tell what exactly the story is about.

 I can’t stress the importance of this step. Often times, it’s not until you force yourself to explain your plot in 250 words that you find possible issues with it.

 Here’s how I explained Tender History in 250 words or less:

 “In late 1700s Joseon Korea, a string of strange murders sends Inspector Kim Seokjin to a frozen northern province. Accompanying him is Min Yoongi, once a scholar of the supernatural, now an indentured laborer until a debt for his crimes against the palace can be paid. Quickly taking on eccentric artist Kim Taehyung as his assistant, Yoongi sets out to find the monster that’s terrorizing the land. But there’s more to both the icy lakes and the people here. More to Taehyung and his unflinching ease at drawing scenes of death. Yoongi just needs to figure out what.”

 Note a couple of things here.

A) You as the writer knows who the important characters are, because they are named.

B) You know the setting: 1700s, Joseon Korea, icy, winter.

C) You know the characterization and how they play into this world: inspector Seokjin, indentured worker Yoongi, artist Taehyung.

D) You know the conflict: murders, monsters, secrets.

E) You ALSO, if you look deeply enough, know the inner character conflict - Yoongi has debts, he has no free will until he pays them.

 If I show this to you, a stranger, you should ALSO be able to glean these basic details from this 250 word pitch.

 It’s not easy. It just looks easy. I spent hours putting this down in a way that was completely right: precise, simple, yet very explanatory. This pitch will force you to confront what is the story, its actual plot and actual characters, and what is only set dressing. You can’t ramble about it anymore for hours. You can’t have a bunch of disconnected ideas anymore. You HAVE to fit it into something concise, something easily absorbed - not just by you, but by a reader who can’t see into your mind. 

You will also know, by putting this down, if the characters aren’t developed enough inside your head. Because why would anyone go to a wintry frozen land to catch a monster? You can’t answer that unless you know, by forcing your thoughts into coherency, that oh, Yoongi has no real free-will here.

 > Step THREE, marry external and internal conflict.

 Or this is step 1.5, actually. You cannot plot a story without both external and internal conflict. Or, you can, but then you won’t touch your readers as much as you would want to.

 What do I mean by this?

 Your external conflict is something that exists outside of your characters - your regular villain, say. This is your Darth Vader, your Voldemort, your Capitol.

 Your internal conflict is what your character feels. This is HARDER. In Hunger Games, Katniss ponders and combats her own ruthlessness. In Harry Potter, Harry’s desire to fit into the world and live a normal life continuously contrasts with his own fame and the symbol of hope he becomes.

 In Tender History, my external conflict is very fancy: murder, monsters, scary villages, etc. Internal conflict is a lot less so: Yoongi in this fic continuously has to wrestle with feelings of guilt and unfairness, with wanting to do good but feeling too burned by the system. If you’ve read Murmuration, the external conflict is the Scarab, but the internal conflict is their own ambition, their guilt over what they had to do to survive, their (terrifying) loyalty to each other.

 Internal conflict is where you find your character voice. If I’d set Tender History Yoongi in a celebrated position at his job, he’d be a much different character. His voice would be much different. He has power! He has resources! Versus this Yoongi, who has nothing, and hence has to trust the people he’s allowed to work with to tell him the truth.

 Think of it like peeling the layers:

 1) The Idea,

2) Develop the Idea,

3) Fill in the External Conflict,

4) Fill in the Internal Conflict.

 I have a few major rules I follow at this point of plotting. They’re like this:

 1) Are these the right characters for my story? - This means I do a round of thinking about whether these people are the perfect vehicle to tell this story I want to tell. Great, I want to tell a story about wintry Joseon Korea, and monster-fighting. But. Is indentured-worker Yoongi the best person to carry this? What if I make him a village leader instead? What if he’s a runaway prince? What if he’s the monster? Depending on what you want your story to be, you have to think of your character to fit the telling. In Romance of Old Clothes, I chose Tae POV for the whole thing because I wanted to illustrate his reading of people vs. other people’s reading of him. Taehyung’s internal conflict in that fic was that he lies to himself extensively. He’s got this idea of who he is, which is untrue, which is then broken down in a climactic moment. He’s my perfect character to tell that story, because of his obliviousness. Similarly, in Tender History, Yoongi’s the perfect character to tell this story, because of who he is in society, his internal troubles, and his monster-hunting experience.

 2)What are some details I would add to this world? - I have a basic idea of the conflict, the world, and the characters now. This is where I take out a chart or a notebook and get to work. I do this like a mindmap: I jot down anything I can think of - say, okay, Joseon Korea: food, art, paintings, caste system, civil examinations, scholars, winter, roads, Confucianism, shrines, religion, music, monsters, gender roles. Then I begin detailing it. ‘Food’ for example: royals eat different food from commoners eat different food from untouchable castes or peasants. Summer food is different from spring food is different from winter food. When I read about food for this fic, I read about the ‘barley gap’ or the gap between barley and rice cultivation during winter. People historically starved during this time. If my story is set in winter, this is an important detail.

 Let’s take something more contemporary. I’m writing about a vintage clothes store. Details I would need - clothes, brands, size of the shop, layout of the shop, how do they procure clothes, how do they test authenticity, what are their customers like, who do they interact with, where is their shop in the city, what does being in that locality mean, what seasons are busy for them.

 A mindmap is just a page full of words, questions, things you know, things you don’t know. Filling it up is the next major step.

 3) What is character development going to be? - This is very important. Okay, you have an external and internal conflict. Now, start of the story being point A, and end being point B, what exactly is A and B for my character? What do I want them to become? In Romance of Old Clothes, Taehyung at Point A is lying to himself about his own nature. By Point B, he’s able to identify that he needs to let people in, open up more. In Wonder Woman, Diana at the beginning of the story is rather naive, believing that if only she could destroy the God of War, the whole war will end. By the end, she understands and admits that things are not that black and white - that people sometimes fight wars because they want to, not due to some external influence.

 You have to know this to continue.

 Step 4, in how I plot, is to put down a starting scene, a few story beats, and the rough idea of an ending.

  But I’ll get into that - and more, including pacing - in Series 2 of this series of posts! Please let me know here or on twitter if these are helpful, or if I’m just rambling too much.

Since I am now struggling a lot to balance writing with work, and if you want to help me keep on writing posts like this, please consider donating to my ko-fi.

I also made a post on how I world-build, the tools and templates I use for the same: it’s over here!

 https://tender-history.tumblr.com/post/185910085044/on-research-worldbuilding-and-culture

[comicteaparty]

June 10th-June 16th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from June 10th, 2020 to June 16th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following  question:

How does poor web design affect if and/or how you read a particular webcomic?

carcarchu

it's a huge factor. if a comic is amazing in every way but the website or app makes it difficult for me to read i'm simply NOT going to read it. there are a lot of great series that i've put on the back burner just because the website is so annoying to navigate

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've honestly never run into a website so bad it stopped me from reading a comic i was interested in

carcarchu

FYI the worst comic app i've ever experienced is Aqua Kiss which I downloaded to read a single series. it's the most barebones app imaginable with no search bar. if you want to read something you actually have to manually load each calendar week to find it and some stuff are buried dozens of pages back. and to make matters worse it doesn't have a "history" or "bookmarks" feature either

Deo101 [Millennium]

The worst things with sites that I see often are 1: huge headers, and 2: laggy sites (not really site design, but its adjacent I think) Another is if the pages are too big on the screen, so you can't, for instance, see some panels all at once. Those kinds of things can really ruin a reading experience for me

carcarchu

One example of a website that is hostile to the reading experience is ZMYK which for some reason hosts vertical scroll comics but cuts them up into little pieces as if they were comic format so you can't actually scroll through the entire chapter as it was intended to

That kind of thing grinds my gears so much how can something you have to pay for be that incredibly bad

Deo101 [Millennium]

I've also seen some sites that have graphic design issues, where elements are illegible due to their color, and some have very busy and distracting backgrounds. Those kinds of things won't necessarily ruin it, but they're distracting

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

forward comic's website was doing this weird thing where the further I read the longer pages took to load. Near the end it seemed they were taking 10 full seconds. Still read the whole thing though. Reading manga on shady sites with terrible internet connection as a kid has desensitized me

Oh one comic I was interested in but didn't read because of the site: I was kidnapped by lesbian pirates from outer space. It doesn't have a website. To read it you have to pirate (hehe) copies of the archive.

It's a pretty sad story- the author was young and tricked into giving up the rights to her series

She ended up taking the site down to prevent the company from getting any more money off of it

https://rosalarian.tumblr.com/post/65353128180/its-with-extreme-sadness-that-i-announce-that-my

Here's her post about it

I think it can be a good warning message to us

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

For me, the biggest thing that deters me from reading a comic is if the website isn't well optimized for mobile (as someone who reads a lot on the go). This includes the images loading bigger than the page, or navigation being hidden on mobile, or glitchy scrolling, or any number of ungodly things. Also, too many ads. That'll turn me away in a heartbeat.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah ads are definitely a huge turnoff for me too

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

FYI the worst comic app i've ever experienced is Aqua Kiss which I downloaded to read a single series. it's the most barebones app imaginable with no search bar. if you want to read something you actually have to manually load each calendar week to find it and some stuff are buried dozens of pages back. and to make matters worse it doesn't have a "history" or "bookmarks" feature either

@carcarchu okay i just digested this comment and wtf

no search bar is laughably bad omg

how did you even find out about it

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah that's ridiculous hahahaha

carcarchu

it's a shame because there are genuinely good comics on there you can't read anywhere else?? and i found it because an artist i adore did a series for it but it got AXED after only 2 chapters and after that was pretty much scrubbed from the internet. i think it's a shame because it really had so much potential and it ended before the story was really able to start

it's a screenshot from the app. you can see that it is categorized reverse chronologically by week

the point of aqua kiss is to emulate monthly/weekly style manga magazines but in app form. however i think the execution of this idea was horrendous

SteffieMusings

Oh no! It must make reading there so challenging. As for me, if the navigation is so hard to understand/pages don't load properly when you click a link or when the website's colours hurt my eyes so much I can't stay there for too long.

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

Honestly nowadays most of the CMS's out there share the same basic functionality and adaptability, so it's getting harder to screw up on that. Most sites are OK, if only a bit laggy. If the site takes less than 2 seconds to load and it's not so crowded that I have to look for the comic, I'm generally good.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

How much bad/inaccessible web design I'll tolerate is directly proportional to how much I care about the comic.

I've dropped a couple series in the middle of the archive just because they changed the site design to screw up the tracking of bookmarking sites, so I would've had to figure out an alternate way to keep track of it, and it didn't seem worth the effort

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Oh yeah, I've totally had that happen too where I was deep into an archive, had taken a reading break for a month or two, and came back to find the urls had been updated and my spot was lost it isn't so bad if a comic also has an archive page, but ive stopped reading a few stories that it would have been too hard to track down where I was.

DaeofthePast

I haven’t had to experience weird websites in a while, but I do sometimes go to an unknown website to read the comic/manga I’m looking for. Mostly what I’ve had trouble with is unnumbered chapters, of that it’s unclear where/how to start reading in general.(edited)

Like, I get to the page for that specific comic and then there’s no easy “start reading here” button anywhere

And when I do find the chapters list, I don’t know which end of the list is the beginning bc it’s unnumbered

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Is a "First page" button enough or are you looking for a "new readers start here" button? (<- is redisigning her page)

DaeofthePast

Is there a difference? :0

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

hm, sometimes yes.

Some old running comics have different jump-on points (schlock mercenary for example).

DaeofthePast

Ooh I see

Well when I first go on the site, I just want to start reading so idk

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

So, I always try to read every comic that's featured in the book club all the way through. Like even if I don't particularly like the opening, or if the comic is thousands of pages long, or I don't have time to meaningfully discuss the comic, I do try to at least give the comic a fair shake by reading through the entire archive. There have been four exceptions. One was because of content (it was a gag a day comic, and the content was SO horrible for SO long that I just couldn't stand it anymore. real "punching down" type of humor). Another was because the comic was literally deleted before I could get to it. The remaining two were because the site design/organization were so awful that the comics were unreadable. One of the two comics had a custom built, hand-coded site (I assume), and it just... didn't work properly. Like the "previous" button seemingly took you to a random page, the "next" button and the "latest" button led to the same place, etc. I'm not sure the creator ever bothered to test the site. The other one used some pre-built stuff, so it was ok... but you had to scroll to the top of the page to go to the next page. Not only that, but the author was posting all their comics to the same archive - which means one page would be the comic that was actually meant to be read for the book club and the next few pages were a completely different comic entirely. And this wasn't a gag-a-day either - it was a story based comic, so the three action minimum to get to the next page made things absolute hell to keep track of.(edited)

DaeofthePast

Wow

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Uff, yeah, that sounds horrible.

Nyx+Nyssa's page is currently a barebone mess, but I made at least sure the navigation works. :/

DaeofthePast

Having the comic be deleted while you’re reading it sounds like such a weird experience lmao

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

i mean, it wasn't thanos snap style lol

DaeofthePast

Was the website gone too or?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

it was in between days

nah the website was still there, it's just that the author had decided to reboot their comic and forgot that they had submitted it to the book club

DaeofthePast

Oh okay I imagined Thanos snap style

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Not really a design but a site thing: I can't do comics without an archive of some sort. On platforms like Tapas or WT, the episode list serves that purpose perfectly fine. I personally need to be able to see how many pages there are, and I need a way to go to specific pages easily. It might sound like a small complaint, but it's a big thing for me! There have been comics that piqued my interest, but once I saw that there was no archive of any form, I left forever. Sure, I might be missing out, but there are also lots of good comics out there that have accessible archives. My life isn't long enough to read them all, so I'm letting myself be very picky.

copperine

I can manage a very basic site just fine. But if a site is hard to navigate, or just makes reading the page/getting to the next page difficult - I'd be likely to give up eventually. Doesn't matter about the quality of the comic, but if it's a chore to just read it, it's going to put me off after a while

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I will note - if you want me to actually discuss your comic in the book club, please do have an archive link, and probably a cast page too. Like the lack of one doesn't stop me from reading entirely, but I can't discuss anything without being able to look back at specific moments. (and one of those archives that just has dates doesn't count - lemme know what the chapter is!)

copperine

For example - when I read webcomics on dA, I was absolutely fine with either the author having a dedicated folder with the pages in order. Another option was to link next and prev pages in the description. But if I had to go find each next page, I just wouldn't.

DaeofthePast

By an archive do you mean kinda like a chapters list?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

A list of all the pages, ideally

That also list the chapters somehow

copperine

Short version: if I feel like I'm spending half as much time navigating the site as I am actually reading, it's gonna get old real quick

DaeofthePast

And same copperine. As long as it’s organized well, I will probably read it

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like maybe you click on a chapter link to get to a list of the pages, or maybe it's just a list of the pages with the chapter names as headers

some sort of organization

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah! (I admit my own comic's archive page isn't the prettiest, but it's 100% functional.)

DaeofthePast

I only have a chapter list so far ^^; idk how to go about getting an archive

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Chapter list is totally fine if your chapters tend to be on the shorter side

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I like having chapter lists around, although coding them can be a handful Not sure if to go for an archive with thumbnails or just with page numbers though.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It's also workable if you also have like... a dropdown menu for individual pages on the actual pages? So it only takes 2 clicks to go to a specific page (first click to go to the chapter, second click to go to the page)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

OH yeah, there was also a dA comic in the book club once that didn't have any next/previous buttons. However, it was a short comic - the bare minimum for getting into the book club - so I still read it all the way through. But it was pretty annoying to do so. (it was also pretty obviously a fetish comic, but that's not really relevant to the discussion XD)

DaeofthePast

I want to post by scene so I’ll be dividing chapters like “chapter 3 part 1” to hopefully that will be better

copperine

I'll always take functional over pretty

DaeofthePast

Haha I’m not sure if I want to know the comic for that one

Also what is “punching down” humor?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like, the author was a straight man, and nearly every joke was making fun of people who weren't those things.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

it's like making fun of people but

copperine

Yikes

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

you're intentially trying to put them down

that's punching down in my imo rip

DaeofthePast

Oh

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah....

DaeofthePast

Well at least I know what to call it when I see it in the future ._.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like, occasionally I see a shitty joke in a comic and I keep reading because maybe the author improved (we do sometimes get comics with archives that date back decades in here) But this comic was just so consistently awful for so long that I couldn't stand it

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oof that aint good

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Though that's kinda off topic lol

DaeofthePast

Oh yeah

So bad site design...

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Anyway, I don't really wanna post the examples of the comics I talked about in here cuz I don't wanna call anyone out

Actually, hold on, lemme check something

DaeofthePast

I feel I haven’t had too much experience with bad site designs, but I might have just forgotten(edited)

K

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

ok yeah

so, the comic where you had to scroll up to the top of each page to click to the next one, and the site was multiple comics alternating pages that made the story rough to follow

copperine

Oof yeah having to scroll up to click next won't stop me but it is a bother

DaeofthePast

I like having the next button both on top and the bottom, even if they update page by page(edited)

It just feels convinient

copperine

Yeah same

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Re: punching up/down, here's an overly simplistic set of examples: billionaires making fun of poor people is punching down. Poor people making fun of billionaires is punching up.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

's good webdesign pattern for everything with continous content - e.g. blogs, web-novels, webcomics.

Ideally you have one on top, between content and comments and under comments

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

the comic that alternated storylines & required scrolling back up to go to the next page was Antibunny: http://vinnied.comicgenesis.com/d/20061002.html if you see that page I linked and click next a few times, there's no obvious distinction between the main story and the spinoff story (no, like, header change between the two, and the art style looks similar), so you can see how it'd be confusing to follow and the scrolling is just icing on the cake (it used to be even worse) the only reason I feel comfortable sharing that is because the author uploaded the comics to new sites, and fixed all those issues in the process: http://antibunny.net/

DaeofthePast

Oh nice. So they realized the problem

copperine

Aren't they in this server? Or am I thinking of another one

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Yeah, the author is in this server

copperine

I thought so

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Hence why he realized, because we told him that there was a problem during the book club

copperine

I'm not gonna take anything said here as a comment on anyway btw

DaeofthePast

It’s cool that submitting their comic to the tea party resulted in some good feedback :3

copperine

You love to see it!

It always makes me happy when webcomic community stuff helps people out, that seems like the ideal outcome

DaeofthePast

Yess

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

i agree on that yeee

DaeofthePast

It’s like having a friend point out a spelling mistake. Embarrassing but you can live with the knowledge that your work is now a little bit better(edited)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Yeah kinda off-topic, but I love it when the author of the comic for the book club joins the server. Like not only does it mean that the author could join in on others' discussions in the future (pay it forward 'n stuff), but... it's just really sad when I see a comic pop up in the book club and the author seemingly forgot they submitted it.

DaeofthePast

How long does it usually take to get to a comic? :0 that they would forget they submitted it?

copperine

I always hope I can help others out or support them, and I hope they feel the same

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The book club had a very very long wait list in the past. These days, not so long.

DaeofthePast

And I guess if you submit a comic with a website, the people here can be your beta testers

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

what's odd is that five months ago, the wait list was six months but now, the wait list is two months y'all need to submit/resubmit your comics

DaeofthePast

I tried going to submit mine yesterday and the site doesn’t let me v.v says you’re booked for July

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

oh yeah, so it is

DaeofthePast

Maybe later :3

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

i guess Rebel doesn't want the queue to get too long

copperine

I would submit mine but I'm only at 10 pages and I believe you need to have 20 to submit

DaeofthePast

Ooh they have a minimum?

Gotta count my pages now

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I mean it makes sense. Hard to discuss a comic that only has the cover for chapter 1

DaeofthePast

XD

Tru

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

"Let us dissect this cover image for an entire week"

DaeofthePast

It would be a hilarious April fools challenge

copperine

Idk I think it was 20 minimum?

DaeofthePast

shrug

copperine

@snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) can you shed any light on this

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The sign up form is where you would normally find that information.

copperine

... very good point

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

But the form is currently unavailable, and it's possible that Rebel might change the requirement when it becomes available again

copperine

Ah

Thank you for the heads up

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

FYI, https://comicteaparty.com/ is where the form will be available eventually

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

They accept resubmissions now?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I def like arrows on the top and bottom of pages for sites to be more of a thing, as well as clicking the image for the next page too! Honestly there hasn't been a make or break, mainly preferences, and the most complaints i have are with the mobile formatting. I think most comics have been pretty solid in functionality that i've read, and it's clear that having their own website is becoming mainstream enough for there to be help, tips, and tricks to making it work!

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I definitely prefer if I can just click on the comic image to go to the next page especially for mobile.

copperine

Agreed!

Idk about resubmissions tho

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

... Wow. I absolutely HATE clickable images on mobile, because they usually mess with the pinch-zoom.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i've had sites that didnt have image click throughs and the arrow..... was like SO TINY XD

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Didn't think anyone would actually like it, so... huh.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i kept going back and forth

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

yeah, navigation needs to be bigger on mobile for safe tapping.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Oh, re:resubmissions, I'm pretty sure you can if it's been long enough? I think @snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) mentioned it recently as an option. But maybe a tangent for #general

boogeymadam

i dont mind the pinch zoom being a little more difficult from time to time cause usually the clickable image is worth it to me

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Same

boogeymadam

am also fond of sites that allow left/right arrows to let you move forward and back on desktop

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Mainly it's just for like Krispy said, reading on mobile and tiny next/previous buttons.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ye my dummy thicc fingers prefer the click through image for sure

ohh yes Boogey that too

boogeymadam

it took me hours of googling to find the very simple comicpress option to just turn that on on my site

copperine

Mmm I do like sites that allow pinch zoom though

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I also prefer clicking on the image to go to the next page

mariah (rainy day dreams)

My fingers small, but still dummy T-T

copperine

It makes it easier to get a better look at the page

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

iweudhweiu Mariah XD

copperine

Especially if it's got smaller font

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

nyxandnyssa has a seperate navigation for mobile that's much bigger and skipping scene select to make tapping easier.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I've had the hover text def bum me out for some comics, where you click the image and it just displays the text, then you gotta click the tiny next bar def killed me there

copperine

I've never had issues with pinch zoom affecting clickable images but I can imagine it would be annoying

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

but! never breaks me out of a comic for me to stop reading-! i persevere in the face of adversity XD

boogeymadam

i've never encountered a site so bad i couldnt continue reading. maybe stuff where i'd stop reading until i was less frustrated but i'd come back later.

DaeofthePast

That’s something I’ll have to consider for my site then

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I feel like Smackjeeves had a really obnoxious auto pitch & zoom before they updated most recently. I like when I can turn it off on my phone. I'd rather do it myself most of the time and let my phone try to auto it X')

DaeofthePast

I usually read on desktop more often than on mobile so it’s good to hear from other’s experiences

copperine

Idk I've never used a custom site yet

boogeymadam

same dae, except on tapas and webtoons!(edited)

comics with their own website i'll boot up my computer for a single update of

DaeofthePast

Even on webtoons I read on desktop

boogeymadam

omg your power, webtoons feels so choppy on desktop to me

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

im definitely lucky that our site got a mobile friendly version i remember the 'ol pinchy zoomz was tiresome on our site for sure

DaeofthePast

I get headaches from reading on my phone unfortunately :/

Idk what the difference is between reading mobile and on a desktop but my brain doesn’t like it

Like, I can text fine???? But reading a comic for some reason is like “no”

So yeah, comics on desktop for me

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ohh!! it could be the close proximity!

DaeofthePast

Ooh :0 maybe?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i know i get motion sickness depending on how close/ far i am from screens

DaeofthePast

Maybe it’s something like that... :O

boogeymadam

whatever the reason sorry you get headaches and motion sickness from comics :'0

DaeofthePast

Every once in a while I’ll try again to read on mobile I never learn

boogeymadam

the only reason i dont like mobile is sometimes comics text is a combination of too small there and the font is hard on my dyslexia

DaeofthePast

Rip

boogeymadam

so i see if zooming in on my computer helps

DaeofthePast

The lesson here is that it’s good to have both mobile and desktop options

boogeymadam

yep :'D

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ohhh yea def agree. I know that feeling and i sometimes ... have a Time reading my own work XD (i admit it lol!!)

boogeymadam

sometimes my own comic is hard on my dyslexia for The Effect so i never have hard feelings with other comics

copperine

(brb)

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ewiudhiwue the things we do AT WHAT COST XD

DaeofthePast

Asdfghjkl

Meanwhile I use the same font for everything

boogeymadam

wait im gonna generalize this more so it can be a party

DaeofthePast

Please post that on pillowfort so I can reblog it

boogeymadam

you can post it for yourself if you want dae!

i'm having a hard time logging on asdfgjh

DaeofthePast

Rip sure

copperine

Ah see I have both

Because hand lettering

It's great for feeling right for a comic but also eternally wondering if it's readable

DaeofthePast

Ooh yeah I guess that would count as both

What’s your comic btw :0

Wait, we’re supposed to be talking about website design right

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yep! If it gets too off topic, you can always continue in another channel that's more fitting.

copperine

Ah sorry! Sure thing

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Mobile is too small for me

DaeofthePast

Yeah

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

(oHHMYYGOSH BOOGEY XD)

boogeymadam

mm archives were mentioned already, and how it can really turn readers away to simply not have one at all? my favorite archive is https://www.vaingloriouscomic.com/comic/archive 's but i've seen some where they attempted an all picture archive and it backfired by just being a page of all empty boxes. this didn't deter me from reading it and it got fixed pretty quick tho~ mine is one of these and its a very chonky slowmoving page cause i uploaded the first 90ish as fullsized pictures. nobody's ever complained so idk if it's ever deterred anyone from reading but i know i gotta fix it someday.(edited)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I really dont mind any kind of web design in particular though tbh. I prefer desktop sites but it’s fine if the design isnt great

DaeofthePast

Have you guys ever gone to a comic website (for a single comic) and the colors used in the background were so bright that it felt like they were blinding you to the point it was hard to read the actual pages?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My archive is down right now becayse it broke and I dont know how to fix it lol

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i def want a fully view-able archive but we're gonna be hitting 800 pages and i dont know how well that will work XD

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

But I have a navigation bar now

boogeymadam

u could have multiple pages of archive, krispy!

i'm starting a new page for chapter 2

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Or dropdown menus

boogeymadam

but its probably important to have a dropdown if u have more than 1 page, yeah

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I want to switch to picture archives, but I haven't found a good plug in/way to get my word press to do it :( if anyone has recommendations...

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I wish I knew how to make dropdown menus

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i'll have to bring that up ! we dont do the tech work for our site ( thank gosh seriously) but i love archives that show full pages

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

If I could make dropdown menus I would be unstoppable

copperine

I miss the drop-downs on SJ

boogeymadam

i feel like dropdowns are smth i pretty much only exclusively see on hiveworks comics

i wonder what their secret is,,,

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I’ve inspected the elements on so many hiveworks sites lol

I want to know

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

they use word press I think

for their comic sites

just have to do some digging with the site html and csss

copperine

Right click and inspect maybe...

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Php stands for my Personal hell pit

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

if i could go undercover for yall i would XD

boogeymadam

also!! @mariah (rainy day dreams) i use elementor for mine

its not perfect and breaks like every time i update it but it works asdfg

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

... I'm currently writing a sparkling fresh wp-plugin for my page (comic easel wasn't doing what I wanted), but I am also a software dev who enjoys coding.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My template I use functions in mostly php and xml and its gibberish to me but functions so well I dont know how to improve it to have specific things I want

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

my knowledge with site design is basic at best lmao

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

wordpress is a bit special in that it does most things more complicated than strictly necessary.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

but I do like fiddling with stuff

^that too lmao

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I know Shiza of osarilho is really good at web designing? she's made some beautiful work with her site!

boogeymadam

i want to ask shiza for more help but not before i have some money to pay her :')

she's helped me a lot already

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I can do html and css at the babiest level

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I'll check that out Boogey, thanks! Even if it does break X') And I guess I'll just make a note to start stashing money to hire shiza XD im definitely at the point where my site needs a general face lift, but I don't have the spoons for it.

boogeymadam

imo i've made some really pretty pges with it. it's a drag and drop that's excellent at galleries, but it doesn't like when you don't have even rows for some reason

the wordpress plugin, Elementor, i mean.

copperine

I've been wanting to try comicpress for ages

I just don't know where to start

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I'm gonna move over to #shop_talk for my response

copperine

I had someone who was gonna help me out but we lost contact so it's on the back burner

boogeymadam

OOPS yeah

copperine

But for websites in general I prefer to have one that feels very basic than one that feels too busy or crowded

I'm not a graphic designer at all lol

If I do try an independent site I'm planning to pay a coding friend to help me

DaeofthePast

yeah i have no idea what I'm doing when working on my site, it's kinda basic, but at least it looks nice

copperine

I just use a premade theme on my ComicFury site

It works and that's good enough for me so far

Oh I guess the other thing that would put me off reading a comic is if the site isn't formatted for mobile, and/or particularly if the site doesn't have adaptive formatting

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

same, but editted it hard core so it looks like it's own thing lmao

copperine

I usually read on my phone because my computer is where I work so I like to get off it for hobbies

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

but for me uh i guess mobile i try to read it either on tapas, webtoon or its own site

I find just clicking the page to the next one helps me a lot lol I don't do a lot of zooming

copperine

Mmm

copperine

It's personal preference a lot tbh!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I like my comuter because its big

copperine

Valid

Mine is not

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

did anyone talk about paying me please you don't have to do that

copperine

Idk but you can pay me

Idk what for but

I'll take money

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I absolutely would have to if you made my site awesome X') work is work, and you should be paid for it

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

fair enough

Just send me a DM whenever you're up for that and lemme take a look at what you already have

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I would hire someone to do web design for me but I dont have the funds & I dont wnat to make someone do work for me for free

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

I've been meaning to set up my own website for a while now, since the collective i was originally hosting my webcomic with kinda fell apart, but it's so much work and i'm hella intimidated :'''D

copperine

@sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead) there's been some related discussion in #shop_talk and I believe @boogeymadam might be able to advise (I'm sure others can too but I'm going off the convo from earlier)

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

@sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead) depending on how much it is I can help you out

RebelVampire

Admin Reminder Remember this channel is for experiences as a reader first and foremost, so #shop_talk and #general are better if you want to discuss your own stuff.

DaeofthePast

thank you for the reminder :3

RebelVampire

I would say poor web design is something I have a complicated relationship regarding webcomics. On the one hand, outside of a site being 100% completely broken, I'm willing to sit through a lot to read. So in terms of affecting whether I read a comic the first time or not, there isn't much to say there. But it does affect how engaged I am with the comic. Cause if I can't easily go back to re-read a page, easily find things like character names, have to deal with extreme lag cause the host is garbage, have to deal with eye bleeding color schemes, etc. you can bet your bottom dollar 1 time is all that comic is going to get in terms of reading it. I can only subject myself to so much, and if I don't feel like reading a comic again because of the site itself, I'm going to quickly forget it in favor of comics whose sites don't make me cry. I do give more leeway to sites created by creators in many respects. But professional bigtime hosts like Tapas or Webtoons literally have no excuse for some of their garbage design choices. And some of their design choices are super duper garbage.

DaeofthePast

that's true yeah, there's a big distinction of the quality expectations between sites by small creators and those of big companies like Webtoons

RebelVampire

At the same time, though, I know from first hand experience that poor design choices are literally influenced by user data for bigger companies. So for every decision I consider stupid- at the same time they probably did the AB tests that showed crappy design A had better results for their conversion rates than user friendly design B.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Which boggles my mind

I wonder if there's some kinda causation-correlation thing going on that the A/B tests could not detect accurately

boogeymadam

Rebel mentioned sites that have eyebleedy color schemes and I'm in the same boat; will read the comic, just will be turning down the screen brightness a looot. Sites that have a huge space of extremely neon background that distracts from the comic make me reluctant to read on the site, and I'll look for a mirror before trying. That white background of the 2 big comic hosting sites can at least be affected and turned dark by nightmode when needed, while nightmode doesn't work on half the bright comic sites I've tried it on. u-u

[dailyaudiobible]

01/12/2020 DAB Transcript

Genesis 26:17-27:46, Matthew 9:1-17, Psalms 10:16-18, Proverbs 3:9-10

Today is the 12th day of January, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it's wonderful to be here with you today. How are you as we enter a new week? Can you believe it? Before this week is over, we will have passed through the center of January. Like, that’s how quickly…ahh its like hard to believe, just a couple…couple weeks ago we’re in like the last decade, it's Christmas time, its…how quickly, how quickly we just…life just moves us forward and here we are about to cross through the middle of the first month. But it's good to know where we are. It’s good to know, like, this is the 12th day of the year, but a lot of time that pulls us forward, right? Like, that keeps us from being here and gets us out into the future. And, so, let's be here. We’re beginning a brand-new sparkly shiny week and we’ll cross into this week together we’ll Let God's words speak to us and then the reality is this week hasn't been lived yet. So, we may be carrying all kinds of baggage into this week, but the choices that we make, the way that we conduct ourselves and live our lives in this week, that's going to be the story of this week and it's really good at the beginning of week to remind ourselves of that. This is a new day. This is a new week and we can make the next right decisions right now. And one right decision is to allow God's Word to speak to us, which is what we've come here to do. And, so, let's get to it. We’re…we’re in a new week. This week we’ll read from the Christian Standard Bible, and we’re picking up the story of Isaac and Rebekah, and Isaac has basically done the same thing his father Abraham had done in the same city. Like they went to this city called Gerar and Abraham had told the people there that his wife Sarah was his sister. So, Isaac has gone to this same place and said that Rebekah, his wife, is his sister, which has caused some unrest. And, so, we’re seeing a little bit of tension beginning to build as we move into the new generations. Today we’ll read Genesis chapter 26 verse 17 through 27 verse 46.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your Word. We thank You for bringing us into a new shiny week and we invite Your Holy Spirit into every aspect of our lives, ever thought, every word, every deed that is out in front of us. As we live into this new week, we cannot do this without You. Why we have ever tried to do anything without You is remarkably foolish, but we are learning. And, so, we invite You in advance into every aspect of all of our interactions this week and we take note, even in today's reading from the book of Matthew, but in general now that we’re reading of You, Jesus, getting to know Your personality and getting to observe Your behaviors and the way that You moved in this world and the way that You were willing to be disruptive, especially to the people who thought…who thought they had control over the worship of God. And, so, we see You in today's reading alone healing a person who couldn’t walk by saying Your sins are forgiven, which only served to disrupt the scribes who are thinking You're a blasphemer, and using the whole scene to reveal its…its not about obeying the rituals of religion, its about how we are in this world. And You did that by quoting from Hosea, “I desire mercy and not sacrifice.” And, so continually, even…even we who love You, even we who are following You, are trying to be a disciple in this world, to be Your hands and feet in this world, we find ourselves continually invited to look at the motives of our hearts. And we do everything that we can to curate a life that looks religious and looks pious and looks like maybe we know You or do we not care about any of that because we actually know You and know Your will and know Your ways? Come Holy Spirit into that question we pray. In Jesus’ name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, home base, its where you find out find out what's going on around here as I say most every day. So, stay tuned and stay connected in any way that you can, and in any way that you want to.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There's a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app, the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, you can press the Hotline button in the app, the little red button at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I will be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi this is Gary speaking I’m from South Carolina and I’ve just completed 12 years of listening to the Daily Audio Bible. Today is January 5th and I’m starting my 13th year now. This is actually my first time calling in. I’ve been listening for so long hearing so many different people call and leave requests, I’ve finally gotten around to call in myself. I’m not really calling you with a prayer request. I just wanted to call and encourage anybody joining this year for the first time or maybe if you’ve been on a few years I just want to encourage anybody to stick with it. In fact, I would say stick with it indefinitely for years. I have found that…and it’s easy to do. If you’re commuting to work it’s easy to fit into your life, just to commit to listening to the hearing, to have the hearing of the Word happening in your life daily, it will do amazing things to you. It starts to sink in in a very unique way. After listening for a few years, you start associating parts of the Bible with months of the year. The stories of the Old Testament start to happen in ways where you know at certain times of the year what to expect. You start to memorize the flow of the Bible. And over time you start seeing how the gospel is clearly displayed throughout the Old and New Testament. And listening to all the people call in you can hear how it’s changing lives. You can also see that really everyone, all lives are broken and need saving. And just hearing that and being a part of that for this many years has really…it’s really it’s really deepened my faith. And Brian and Jill I thank you for having this ministry and I pray you continue it as long as well as long as I’m alive. I intend to listen to it indefinitely as long as it’s available…

Hello DAB family this is Alicia My God is Abundance and I just got finished listening to the January 3rd broadcast on today, January 3rd. And I heard Finding Peace sounding broken and asking for prayer and clinging to faith and right after that I heard God Smiles with that beautiful message. And I know, God Smiles, that you had that message for all of us and I thank you for that message. But Finding Peace, I…I couldn’t help but think the minute that I heard that message that that message was a message that you needed to hear, that you needed to hear and cling to. I mean we’re starting a…we’re starting the Bible over again. We are in Genesis and man oh man it’s…we are so quick to hear the serpent hiss and to listen to his voice and to ignore the loving whisper of our God, you know? So, I just pray for you, Finding Peace, that you can hear the loving whisper of our God and I think today that loving whisper might have come to you in the voice of God Smiles and I think that whisper came to us all God Smiles, so thank you so much for that. Finding Peace, I do pray for your peace, your wholeness, your shalom. Thank you DAB family and thank you Brian for being so faithful and continuing to read is God’s word every day.

One of the reasons I love this podcast is because Brian talks about choosing the narrow path to life and this has been a pretty big theme in my life. This is Cindy, by the way, the Silver Lining Miner from Seattle. I have been struggling with a couple things in my life, one was my job that, thank God I have a job and I start on January 20th and I thank all those who prayed for me. The other one is choosing relationships and people and bringing people into our lives that will lead us toward the narrow path that leads to life. So, I would love to praise Brian for his reminder about choosing the narrow path. And, are you going to choose the…the way to sin and to desires, giving into your desires and things that you know might not lead to that narrow path or are you going to choose the narrow path? And, so, for everybody out there who has maybe been in a relationship that’s…they know is not healthy or they’re walking a line right now where they are close to choosing a relationship that’s not healthy or doing something that is not healthy for their current relationship, I just want to say that I stand with you and I pray for you. I made a choice today to avoid an unhealthy path and I knew I could do it because of my family that I have here and other family members in my history that have been strong and actions that I’ve taken that show that I can walk that narrow path and be strong. So, I stand with you all and I pray for all of you to make those right choices with me. Amen.

Hi DAB family, I’m…this is Anonymous, I’m calling in because it’s January 4th and I just want to praise God for hearing prayers outside of time. I tell you what, I have never been so encouraged in my entire walk with Christ. You know, I grew up in a in a Christian household and, you know, I got saved at 14 and I’ve never felt so encouraged and I know it’s because God has heard everyone’s prayers outside of time. Everyone who heard the message I left that got played on the 27th and I didn’t hear it, I didn’t know I got played, I thought it might’ve have been have been played on the community prayer or maybe not…not really in anyone’s hearing. And today, January 4th, I heard a woman pray. The first prayer was for…for Anonymous. And I thought, “oh yeah. You know what? Anonymous prayers are always really…they’re really…they touch my heart because those are prayers of people who don’t have anything left to try to hide what they are dealing with, they don’t have any…any layers left.” And, so, I prayed for Anonymous. And then the gentleman who prayed next prayed for anonymous and I thought. “oh.” I thought, “that sounds familiar. I don’t know why that sounds familiar but that’s something that I…you know…that fel;t familiar to my heart.” And then the third woman who prayed identified the day and I was like, “Lord God. I’m gonna go back and listen but I think…I think these people are praying for me.” And I know that God hears prayers outside of time and I want to thank everyone who has prayed for me since the 27th. I’ve felt that. God has done work in my life. So, thank you so much. I love every single one of you.

Hey this is PG from NC. Brian thank you for reading. While you are reading, I had a thought. All my life I have heard the fact that Jesus called us to be fishers of men. The reality was He was calling fishermen to be fishers of men. It was a metaphor. He was allowing them, helping them to see themselves with a kingdom purpose and vision. There’s our word for the year. And I think if He were walking the earth today, I think He would be calling people and using a metaphor for which they could truly understand and wrap the purpose and a vision of themselves around. If He were calling a waiter or waitress or server, He might be calling them to serve the bread of life to individuals. If He were calling a fireman, He might be calling them to help people…help people escape the fiery situations of life there in or protect them from perilous situations. If He were calling a pilot or a flight attendant, He might be asking them to divinely help transport people along the journey of life to their ultimate kingdom destination. I think that each of us has a way that we see, we identify ourselves by our occupation or by our skill set and I think that God would want to use of metaphor that to allow us to see the kingdom purpose behind how He created us and how we function. So, Lord I pray today for every DABber who’s listening. God, I pray You’d give us vision of ourselves with a metaphor or a thought or an understanding of how You designed us to function. And I pray this in Christ’s name. Amen.

This is Michaela from South Carolina. I’ve called a few times over the 14 years that I’ve been listening. Each time it has been for my sister Susan who suffers from bipolar. She’s currently in ICU having a medicine overdose. She almost made it through the holidays but just finally couldn’t cope. I’m asking for prayer for her recovery and her restoration. I am believing God for her to be an icon of His healing power. Thank you all for your prayers and support. My husband and I listen daily, and we pray for all of you.

Hello Daily Audio Bible this is Heather and my son Judah, hi. So, I’ve been listening to the Daily Audio Bible and this is my first time calling in. I’ve been listening for the past seven years and for this eighth year my son Judah, he’s now 10 years old, he’s committed to live…listen to the Daily Audio Bible with me daily. I’m excited to see him go through the whole Bible in a year with me. I’m glad I finally called in. I listen to prayers and pray for the prayers as they come in and it’s just been a part of my growth the past seven years. And, so, I’m finally glad to be able to call in. God bless you.

[weekendwarriorblog]

Some Thoughts on Long-Lasting Music Fandom

I've been wanting to write something freeform for this blog that isn't necessarily about movies -- because that was whole reason I started the Weekend Warrior blog in the first place. I got a little more time to do that last year when there weren't too many movie releases. As luck would have it, next week is one of the quietest weeks in many, many months even with what is likely to be one of the biggest movie releases... but again, this is my chance to write about something not movies but something that's very dear to my heart, maybe more than anything else: ROCK MUSIC.

The idea to write this piece came out of a couple hours I spent Friday night on something called "The Alarm Central." I have a feeling that if you were to ask even my closest friends who some of my favorite bands are, some might be able to name one or two, maybe from a T-shirt I might wear, but I'm not sure how many friends would guess that my top band for many years has been The Alarm.

If you don't know who The Alarm are, you're probably very young. Lucky you. The Alarm had their highest acclaim and fame back in the mid-80s with songs like "68 Guns" and "The Stand" and eventually "Rain in the Summertime." When I was a teenager driving around CT from one job to another, my favorite radio station, WLIR, would play The Alarm a *LOT*. They were a mainstay along with U2, Depeche Mode and other bands that I was also inevitably a fan of.

It was a far cry from the Top 40/Beatles stuff I listened to in the mid '70s and the metal/prog rock that I got into in 1979 when I was playing in bands, but The Alarm just had this great spirit to them that really came out when you saw them live. Oddly, I only saw them live twice in the '80s... but that's a story for another time that I'm kind of saving...

The Alarm Central is a relatively new website/app/platform that Alarm frontman Mike Peters and his wife Jules (who also plays keys in The Alarm, but please no Linda McCartney comparisons... Jules actually has a lovely singing voice -- rimshot) put together as an alternative to the YouTube/Facebook platforms that so many bands have flocked to. Actually, The Alarm did and still does have a Facebook presence and last year, when COVID hit, and everything shut down, Mike and Jules started doing a weekly livestream show called "The Big Night In." They started doing it on March 20, 2020 and continued to do it for a few months, resumed in July for a second season.. but anyway, it was a great way to get together with other Alarm fans (or rather, "fams," as the Peters' lovingly call us) to listen to Mike play some songs, tell some stories, enjoy watching Jules poking fun at her famous husband (they've been married for almost as long as the band has been together).

Anyway, I'm getting a little sidetracked, but the point I'm trying to make is that this band and its singer, Mike, have managed to keep their fanbase alive now for 40 years. In fact, this year is the official 40th anniversary. No, they're not the first or only band to make it 40 years... another long-time favorite of mine, Rush, celebrated it a few years back before Neil Peart died -- The Damned also has hit 40 years but it's also gone through so many line-up changes that only the singer has remained that entire time. Another thing that influenced my decision to write this was seeing Edgar Wright's The Sparks Brothers documentary for about the third time, and those guys, brothers Ron and Russell Mael, have been making music together for over *50* years... although as you see in the movie, their popularity and success has fluctuated. Sure, there are some people who heard their first hit "This Town Ain't Big Enough for the Two of Us" and are STILL fans.... some fans dropped in and out, maybe went off to do other things for a while, then came back. I'm not sure if the Go-Go fans who discovered the band when they did a duet with Jane Wiedlin stuck around as they started experimenting with opera and other music genres. But then you see the band playing shows in the past five years for HUGE audiences. About ten years ago, they decided to play all (then) 22 of their albums from beginning to end in a series of shows in London... and yeah, people did go to all 22 of those shows.

The other thing that influenced my decision to write this was seeing another documentary, this one at the Tribeca Festival, about the '80s Norwegian group A-Ha, who to many, are probably considered the epitome of one-hit wonders since every single person on the planet knows "Take On Me" but can you name one other song by them? Can you name any of the many albums they made after that first one? It's interesting because in that movie, you also see the band going through some highs and lows but when they play gigs in Europe, like in Germany or their native Norway, they still play to HUGE audiences, and they still have many devout fans. And yes, many of them have stuck with them since the "Take on Me" days but would you happen to know one of these fans personally?

That brings me back to the Alarm. I will fully admit that I wasn't there as a fan/fam through thick and thin... I was already deviating before Mike Peters left the band almost exactly 30 years ago in a very famous concert in Brixton where he let the rest of the band know he was quitting while ON STAGE PERFORMING. I mean, how punk is that? Sounds like something I might do. ;)

I definitely lost track of the band until an episode of VH-1's "Bands Reunited" in the early '00s, maybe 2002 where the band was... I'm sure you you can figure it out. At that time, I had absolutely zero idea that Mike and various members of the band had been doing annual "Gatherings" in their Wales hometown for the fans they built in the '80s who stuck around for all of Mike's solo albums, side projects like Coloursound with Billy Duffy from the Alarm (album #2 comes out in a couple weeks!), and basically through thick and thin.

A few years later, maybe 2004, I saw that The Alarm were playing at the Knitting Factory down near me and I decided to see what they had been up to and surprise, surprise, what I loved about the band in the '80s was still very much intact, even if it was now Mike and a completely different band. But I was happy to see them again, even more thrilled to learn that the Knitting Factory gig was part of a residency and then also learned that Mike/The Alarm had not only made a new album... but they made an entire 5-album box set called In the Poppyfields and holy shit... it didn't seem like there was a bad song in the bunch! (They played some of the songs at that gig, but they also played ALL of my favorites from the '80s, too!) That moment was kind of a revelation for me and even though I've seen The Alarm maybe twice in the '80s, I've probably seen them live maybe 16 or 17 times since that Knitting Factory gig.

If you've spent even a second at one of these shows with the band's fams, then you know why the Alarm is such a popular band with so many infectious and anthemic sing-along-songs, and you know what? I found that from the very first time I saw the band in the mid-80s as well. But a lot of these fams stuck with the band through thick and thin, once Mike left the band and did his own solo thing (I personally have only been getting into his solo stuff VERY recently)... and then when he was back with a new incarnation. Sometimes, Mike would just go out and perform acoustically and the fams love that, too.

So I was thinking how does Mike do it, and how does he keep those "fams" coming back for more? How does he and Jules convince a good number of them (including myself) to shell out something like $160 a year to subscribe to Alarm Central? That certainly seems like a lot of money and believe me, a lot of long-time fans were not happy with that.

But Mike and Jules also created a lot of good will with the amount of time and energy they put into the Big Night In and into Alarm Central... and frankly, into every single thing they do EVER. I've never been to a Gathering in Wales, but I've been to a bunch of them in New York, and they never disappoint. They're always a full day with all sorts of events -- trivia, a QnA, a meet and greet, maybe a solo set, a full band set... there have even been multiple night shows.

That said, I still haven't really gotten into what makes Mike and Jules and The Alarm so popular that they have fans who go all the way back to Mike's *previous* band Seventeen. (I've met a couple of them last night in Alarm Central, which also convinced me to write this.)

I know what I like about the band and Mike and the music, almost all of it, in fact, but I also have a personal connection since both Mike and Jules are cancer survivors. Not only that but they've also created Love Hope Strength, a foundation whose entire existence is to find stem cell and bone marrow donors. Even if you did not know what a big Alarm fan I was before reading this, there's a good chance you realize that I'm a leukemia survivor myself, that I had a stem cell transplant, and I take everything about that seriously, whether it's to raise awareness or to be there for others when they are going through their own transplants, whatever. It's something that's probably as important to me as the very air I breathe*.

*Yes, that actually is an Alarm reference, actually one of Mike Peters' solo songs co-written with Jules that he still plays with the band.

INTERMISSION (Gotta run out to a movie but will be back later to finish this.)

Let me see if I can get back into my train of thought. Oh, yeah, I was getting into the reason why The Alarm and Mike in particular seems to be able to keep his fambase going for 40 years with some truly diehard sticking through thick and thin. I think part of it is that Mike and Jules are just truly nice and good people. I mean, think about it. They didn't need to spend hours each week during a pandemic putting together the Big Night In show to keep everyone entertained and sane. "Music Will Keep Us Together" was the motto of those weekly music and talk shows with a lot of really special guests and announcements. I'm sure that they have a lot of other things to do, like making music (and Mike's done a lot of that during the pandemic) but they are constantly doing things to keep in contact with the fams, including the Alarm Central and very casual weekly pub updates where fams communicate with each other and can share their thoughts with the Peters. They even invited their fambase to come to their hometown for weekly "Staycations" (that just started this week) where the fams can rent out one of a number of special rooms and be able to watch special performances right in Wales. The first night of it was so fun even watching on the Alarm Central and they'll be doing this for the next five months in lieu of touring. And then early next year, the Alarm is touring all over the UK and making up for shows that were delayed and cancelled.

I just want to tell one more thing about Mike's dedication. A week before the first Staycation, he had a bad accident, falling off his bike and breaking his elbow, and yet, that night, he was on Alarm Central in full cast with Jules, and he even pulled out his acoustic guitar and played a song, much to the shock of everyone watching.

But that's enough about The Alarm. You get the idea, but they're not the only ones. I was a pretty big fan of Nirvana and when David Grohl came along with Foo Fighters, I was a hard pass, but 20 years later, I became a pretty diehard fan, and I realized that there's a reason why the Foo Fighters can fill Citifield two nights in a row (50,000 people a night) and that's because you can tell that David is just as dedicated to his fans... and you can also tell from his docs and appearances that he's also a really nice guy.

And I'm sure I've mentioned Tim's Twitter Listening Parties here, and Tim Burgess of the Charlatans is another guy who could be super-busy and doing lots of things but almost every night, he's on Twitter interacting with musical guests and his fans... and he's been doing that diligently since last March, as well. I'm not sure he makes any money doing that, and I don't think he cares. He enjoys it. He knows that those who tune in every night enjoy it, and like Alarm Central, he's created a community around these listening parties.

I feel like I can even bring this analogy over to the world of movies and some of my favorite directors and people who have just done really well over the years by just being nice to their fans. Edgar Wright is one. Guillermo del Toro is another. Both of those guys could just lock themselves in an ivory tower ala Nolan, but they always get out there to talk about their movies and interact with fans whenever possible, and that's something that really means a lot to people.

We're definitely living in different times than the '70s and '80s, and maybe we're living in times when people just want to be nicer to each other. People have been through a lot even pre-COVID, and I'd like to think that all of us are coming out the other side being nicer or more consideration. I'm not 100% sure that's true, but I do think that musicians/bands/artists who can maintain their fanbase for decades through thick and thin really are something special. I think that any band or artist starting out now or who has been around for a few years can learn a lot from the Mikes and Tims and Dave Grohls because you know what? It takes more than talent alone to keep the fans around through every experiment you might decide to do over time.

(As I did with my 30-minute experiments, I'm gonna post this witohut going back and reading over it and doing any error correction. Like I said, this is the kind of free-form writing I like to do when I have something on my mind but don't want to take too much time away from my paid writing.)

[theitalianscribe]

Not In the Write Mindframe

Lenore was tired of a life of writing essays. She was also tired in general. So she decided to get some homework help she had heard a demon used to do. It was past 3, she was not capable of being rational at this point.

It had been during one of Alcor's "bad periods." Reports of entire cults, even those who sacrificed animals instead of people, disappearing in a flicker and of a form that appeared as a consuming void of madness to those who survived. But those were stories and Lenor wasn't in her right mind at the moment. She was barely in her writing mind. See, she had three essays to write in the one week and none of their deadlines had popped up until the day they were due. And the website she was supposed to upload those to were an absolute bitch for procrastinators who worked to the second. She hated that the due date was to the second. Essays should be due at midnight, not at 11:59, or due by 11:58 one second before 11:59 and at the time stated at the due date, everything looked like it would work but that submit button was nothing but a cruel decoration.

No, she wasn't in the right mind or the write mind. Essays were her kryptonite and when her lips met the demon's design on her Twin Soul coffee mug, she decided that she had nothing to lose if her grades were already doomed to be below a c.

She had heard stories of Alcor being a homework helper. All he supposedly asked for was ice cream. Lenor had not heard of anyone summoning him on a bad period and that was totally absurd to her. Surely someone would have done what she was about to do. But her google searches had come useless and she didn't care to go further than that. Alcor, for all his power, was harmless to kids like her.

So she printed out the circle, chanted the latin in her sleepy white girl voice, and waited for a response.

There was no fanfare, there was no void. There was just a tall figure that looked like it was trying to assume a human like form but couldn't settle on one. Its height stretched and shrunk. It oozed wings, then those fell into a puddle of inky void. Eventually it coalesced into a cartoony one-eyed star.

"I haven't seen this circle in a while."

"Yeah. Guess you haven't had any tutoring requests for a while, then?"

"Nope." The negative response came gurgled out. Lenor wondered if he was trying to scare her off. She was too tired to ponder that for long.

"So here's the thing. Can I just vent to you for a while before we get to this? I'll take your silence as a yes."

She sat down at her seat.

The void shape mirrored her movement and even took on an outline of her form. But with no other features colored in except for glowing gold eyes. It looked like someone had made a figuring of her but forgot to paint it and splashed on whatever color to make the eyes stand out.

"I'm an english major, right? But I hate writing essays. I want to write my own stuff, not write about what other people write. Sometimes I don't even have time to read this stuff. I just churn out words in the hopes that they fill out the requests, but I don't let myself stop until they are perfect. I don't have a shitty passable mode. So I am like a homework machine that grinds gears to get out paper for words that matter for maybe all of five minutes at most. And I'm sick of it. Just, let me put out essays fast so I can move on. I have this and I honestly feel like school is trying to make me into a robot that can't function without output from others. Isn't that amazing?

"I guess I wish I could just either be that robot or not have to bother with it at all. Is there an option for something like that?"

"Are you asking me?" The void asked.

"I guess. Can't make any decisions without someone else's input, remember?"

"So you want to be like a computer that makes essays quickly?"

"In a sense." She didn't clarify. She wasn't even thinking of deals. She was just venting about school and lost herself.

"I can make that happen."

"Yeah?"

"My power is limitless. Especially without those self-imposed limits I sometimes have. Your pain will be short lived."

"I am so down for that!" Lenor cheered.

She turned to her fridge and pulled out some tubs of ice cream, a box of ice cream sandwiches, and some gold bars that her dad wouldn't miss if she could buy new ones before he checked the freezer. "So I have a few options for you. Take whatever you want?"

"Are you sure about that."

"Yeah. You know what I mean and I've used up my ability to use my words properly. Go ahead with the deal making."

"Don't mind if I do."

True to his word, it was fast and painless.

The remaining years of her life were delectable. The memory chip dropped to the floor where the girl once stood. She basically wanted a transformation, but she didn't say what to do with it when it was done. Well, she did say to take whatever he wanted. Surely there was a use for it.

--

"You know what's great about homeschooling, aside from the part where your home literally is your school that teaches through simulating events and taking you on field trips?" McRosa flopped on her bed. Two tiny avatars were on her phone screen. One was listening half-heartedly while messing around with some app that dealt with sand. The other was messing with her brightness settings on the screen while also browsing through the internet for fan fiction to take down through her desktop.

"What?" The female avatar asked.

"I don't have to write essays." McRosa pumped her fists up and let them fall. The rapid change in view had Vira yell in protest and kick at her sand creation while Alvie set her brightness to full for several flashes in retribution. "Ow!"

"Hold your phone still."

"Yeah, some of us aren't everywhere and can actually feel your phone move. More or less."

"Anyway, I could actually help you with essays if you ever needed that." Alvie said as he reset the sand app. He knew Vira had yet to save it, but she underestimated how discombobulating it was to hear their voices from two places and to have several cameras showing him completely different viewpoints all the time.

"Wait, really?"

"Yep. Of course, I wouldn't do it for free."

"I honestly would be mad if you did. The pain of essays shouldn't be avoided and free rides would be a gypp to people who actually worked on them.” After a pause, she asked, “How would it work?”

“I take several different sources, mainly your notes, wikipedia articles, and whatever else depending on the subject, and generate paragraphs. You can tweak things here and there and tell me the point you want to make and I automatically adjust things to make it. The whole thing takes like ten minutes depending on the length. Oh, and the quality depends on the payment. Better the payment, higher the grade.”

“Sounds pretty…” McRosa searched her mental reservoir of outdated words, “nifty. Where did you get it?”

The digital demon paused. “I...actually don’t know.”

“Do you have like a file with the source?”

“Wait. I think it was some...chip. I have a copy of the folder here.”

On McRosa’s desktop screen, a locked Alvie file opened up. The other contents of the file and his code were either blurred or in a language that looked like a bunch of characters of different languages jumbled up. The file she could see claimed that it was originally created over a century ago. The name of the source looked like it might be some knock off lenovo or something. Nothing else explained it, except maybe the user being a poetry fan,

The name said, “Lenore.”

[pianosamurai]

Asia Trip Part 3: Tu Lan + The Trip to Hanoi

Truth be told, we were on the fence about doing this second tour, even though it was just a 1-day trip. We were a little fuzzy on the specifics - would it be similar to Hang En? Too similar? Did we want to potentially tarnish the fun we had on the first tour, with a potentially mediocre experience the next day?

We overcame the over-thinking and went ahead with the tour, which ended up being (of course) the absolutely right thing to do. It was an even earlier pickup than the first tour, and we had the same breakfast we did the first morning at Ho Khanh’s Homestay - fried noodle with eggs, tea and some fresh mango. I realize now that I forgot to highlight our host Duc, who was the nephew of Ho Khanh and managed the entire homestay. He was a great and had an awesome energy (regardless of whatever time we saw him). I especially appreciated the conversation after we found the massive spider the first morning.

Amanda: “Good morning Duc! So we found a huge spider in our room.”

Duc (smiling): “Ooooooh...really? You okay?”

Amanda: “Oh yeah we’re fine, but I figured you should know.”

Duc (laughing nervously): “Hahahah...yeah....it’s okay! He friendly!”

And then 5 minutes later:

Duc: “Was the spider inside the room? Or outside the room?”

Amanda: “Inside the room, on the window.”

Duc: “Oooooh.....hahaha okay!”

We were picked up by another Oxalis tour guide that morning named Vu, in what I believe I was a nice Toyota RAV4. Expecting another small bus to show up with a bunch of other tourists, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that we were actually the only people on the tour that day. We were driving about an hour away, to a different cave system in a completely different area. Tu Lan is not a national park, but it was equally inspiring as the park in Phong Nha.

Along the drive, we took a highway that Vu told us was running along the Ho Chi Minh Trail, and then he proceeded to dive into some Vietnam War trivia. That was one thing I was curious about, to hear their perspective and see how they react to foreigners, and Americans in particular. Granted, as tourists they were only going to give us so much information, but the way that Tha put it the day before, “For a while, the older Vietnamese generation was angry at Americans. But after a while, we decided to change our minds. And we said, okay, we should be friendly with Americans now.” In these smaller towns, tourism has actually been well-received, as it has provided lots of jobs and opportunities for the local people. I only hope that the goodwill that we experienced during our time there will remain, and grow into the future.

Just before we arrived at the headquarters in Tu Lan, we encountered a very muddy stretch of the road that had actually handicapped an Oxalis van, carrying a few tour guides (including Tha) who were going to the headquarters for a training session. Apparently a bridge had been in place previously, but over the years it had started to deteriorate until it was finally taken down to make way for a new bridge to be constructed. But at that moment, we were between bridges - bring on the mud. The van eventually managed to squirm its way up the little slope leading back to the main road. More on this mud zone later.

There was some light drizzle on and off throughout the day (hence the mud), but obviously not enough to deter the tour from happening. We made it to the headquarters, where we got situated and received an abbreviated safety briefing from Vu (”you guys know all this stuff already, so we’re good”). And then the three of us started trekking towards the caves.

For any cinephiles who are reading this, much of the recent King Kong movie “Skull Island” was filmed in this region. While that was generally used as a selling point on the Oxalis website, Vu seemed only mildly amused by the connection (”I haven’t even seen the movie!”). I actually did see the movie, and while I wasn’t nearly geeking out over being on location where they shot the film, it was pretty fun to imagine a huge gorilla and a huge dinosaur battling amongst the hills and rivers around us.

But humongous creatures aside, it was clear why the filmmakers were attracted to this area. It had a sense of mystery and wonder that kept me intrigued the whole day. I’m sure the vibe would have been completely different in the summer, with blue skies and sun, but I’m happy that we experienced this place in the exact state that we found it.

A long, flat walk amongst rice and peanut fields (and a whole lot of water buffalo) led us to our first river and then eventually our first cave. The caves we explored on this day were nowhere near the magnitude or scope of Hang En, but they still had plenty to offer. If anything, it made me want to go watch the Planet Earth “Caves” episode again, which I’m sure I had not nearly appreciated enough the first time.

As the day went on, I grew more and more thankful that we hadn’t decided to pull the plug on the tour. This experience was so different than Hang En - not just the setting, or the caves. The fact that it was just me, Amanda and Vu (and an occasional porter or chef) gave us the chance to really appreciate the solitude and the majesty of the Tu Lan area. Rather than a handful of tour guides shepherding a group of random assorted tourists, it just felt like a few buddies taking a walk through the jungle, stopping at times to admire crazy stalactite formations, local cows that crept up to within a couple feet of our trail, or super dark cave ladders like this one:

(dub step analogy ahead): This small section of the trip could have been considered the Build, if our lunch campsite was the Drop (sorry). We had to climb down that (clearly) not well-lit ladder, which led to a dark cave within the river that we canoed down for a few minutes before being spit out at this beautiful little nook:

The campsite was at the far end of this little lake, and we relaxed for a bit while the sky tried to figure out if it wanted to rain, or just seem threatening. Again, lunch was a delicious combo of spring roll/bánh mì fixings (assembly required). Another highlight of this day was having an uninterrupted opportunity to talk with and learn about Vu, our guide. He was from the city of Hue, where his parents had owned a coffee shop. After school, he decided to move to Phong Nha to escape the hustle of the big city. Naturally, he said the instant coffee that was more easily found in these rural areas didn’t really get the job done for him (”I drink 6 cups a day, and feel nothing”). He told us about his first experiences with Oxalis, when he was the only applicant who didn’t speak English, but he was a good enough swimmer that they brought him on for training. The caving experts that train the guides are all based in the UK, which explained Vu’s fairly consistent British accent. When asked what country he would most like to visit (he had never left Vietnam), he replied “America” without too much hesitation. Why? “Because you can make money there.”

After lunch, we took a slightly more perilous route back down to the main trail, up and over a steep hill complete with spiky, slippery rocks. Thankfully nobody got themselves hurt - just very muddy. As we found flat ground again and reached our final river crossing (heading back to the headquarters), I paused for a few seconds, mid-river, letting the water wash the mud out of my shoes and feet. I tried to breathe slowly and let the moment sink in, and not just take this last wet river crossing for granted. People may wonder (especially the locals) why city dwellers from halfway around the world would pay money to walk around in the jungle, through the mud, over hills with sharp rocks, getting sweatier and dirtier by the minute. An easy answer would be “to feel alive”. But I think more than that, it was “to remember what life is, and what it can be”. In a place such as New York City, it’s very easy to get wrapped up in your day-to-day life, and oftentimes global happenings outside of the five boroughs only register as a blip on your News App. The day that I started to travel more frequently for music, my relationship to New York City - and the world as a whole - changed dramatically. To put oneself in a situation such as this river, this jungle trek - I looked at it as a self-inflicted reminder, to stay humble, and to always appreciate the lifestyles and customs of other people around the world. Just because they do things differently than us, doesn't mean that they aren’t as passionate about life and invested in what they do. And that’s something I can always respect.

A return to headquarters was capped off with a most-welcome hot shower at a stall that was set up about 50 yards from the main building. At this point, my trusty New Balance sneakers had, sadly, started to kick the bucket. The tread had started to peel off the bottoms of the shoes, and I could almost hear them yelling, “Come on man, give us a break!” So I donated them to Vietnam, and Vu said he would keep them at the headquarters, just in case somebody with huge feet showed up one day and needed to borrow a pair for their own excursion.

Although had I known what was coming up next, I might have held onto them a little while longer. Remember the muddy stretch of road that we passed in the morning? As we approached it on our return to Phong Nha, we were held up by a couple of people who were helping to guide a vehicle coming up from the opposite way. Turns out, that vehicle was a big tractor with BIG wheels. We all had the same thought instantly, fearing that the BIG wheels had left some DEEP grooves in the mud, and if our RAV4 managed to slip into those grooves, we might get stuck.

Well guess what - that’s exactly what happened. Despite our driver’s best efforts, we were squirming along the muddy decline, trying to drive in between those grooves without falling into them. But everyone knew the moment that the wheels slipped, and we were just stuck. Long story short, the Oxalis van that needed rescuing in the morning came to our aid, and a coalition of myself, Vu, Tha and the van driver managed to push the RAV4 from behind, eventually giving it enough leverage to snarl out of the grooves, nearly drive off the side of the road, and then finally clamber back up the incline on the other side. All the effects of the hot shower were completely erased by the splattering and the (slowly drying) mud cakes covering my feet and sandals. But after the initial discomfort, I thought - why not? I spent the whole day trekking through mud, so it only seemed appropriate (in hindsight) that I would re-muddy myself with a few Vietnamese dudes, shoving a car out of a ditch. It was like an added authentic bonus to the tour that Oxalis had been keeping a surprise. (Although I’m sure they aren’t trying to make a habit out of this.)

We eventually made it back to Phong Nha, where we gathered ourselves at a chic little restaurant on the main strip near our bus stop. In my scheduling madness, I had booked a sleeper bus from Phong Nha to Hanoi, which was an 8-9 hour drive. This way, we could get to our final destination by midday the following day, and also didn’t have to worry about a hotel for that evening. Dinner was surprisingly good (didn’t expect that I would be eating wood-fired pizza in Vietnam), and then when the bus finally showed up, we entered what would be one of the more hilarious nights of our trip - and maybe our lives?

Hilarious could be the wrong word - maybe strange, special, a little nerve-wracking? Some combination of all those things. I have no photos of this bus, but Amanda summed it up the best halfway through the drive, when she half mumbled to me, “If I just pretend like I’m on the Knight Bus from the Harry Potter movie, I’m good.”

Facing the back of the bus from the front, there were three rows of double-decker bunks. Not 180-degree flat bunks, but more like the passenger seat of a car, folded as far back as it can go. Add a little plastic case surrounding the bottom and sides of the chair (imagine the material from a Fisher-Price jungle gym), and that’s what the sleeping situation was like. They were most definitely one-shooters, so Amanda and I found neighboring bunks.

Once we got going, it became quickly apparent that the bus drivers (there were two that alternated during the drive) were not too interested in the notion that people were trying to sleep. Honking, speeding, swerving, revving, spitting out the window - all was fair game. In hindsight it was hilarious - I mean, what more was I expecting at $14 a ticket for an overnight bus ride? - but at the time, there were a few moments where I had to question whether or not I had made the right decision.

Regardless, we made it to Hanoi somewhat alive, and after a brief stop to gather our bearings at a nearby hostel, we embarked on Phase 2 of our journey that day - to Cat Ba Island!

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/prepare-for-turbulence/

Prepare for Turbulence 

Prepare for Turbulence

By A Gift From Gaia

Please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for some turbulence.

Or perhaps it’s more like…

Buckle up and scream if you wanna go faster

I guess that’s all dependent on you and how you are perceiving these shifts but the next few days may feel a little…bipolar?

We have highs and we have …some…..”oh yeah alright, we’ll just see about that shall we”

Hey I can’t write “lows” when I’m fully aware they don’t exist, what is a low anyway? A refusal of truth? Well that’s a choice, albeit a rather blinded one.

So we have highs and I’ll observe and take action…that’s far more fitting.

Word spells are something of a favourite of mine at the moment and we can think about this for a second.

Many get the words contradicted, mostly because at first they don’t know, and that’s the safest place to be if you wish to stay oblivious and continuing your life unaware…sleep is one of my most favourite places so I understand how the simplicity of the complexity suits.

However when you are aware and waking yourself up to know and yet not do is nothing short of….well, lining up a whole bunch of life experiences to teach you.

Let’s look….

Dark night of the Soul – is a breakthrough for growth Anxiety – Avoidance of Self truth, experienced for the purpose of growth Anger – disconnection from self, lack of self…experienced for growth Depressed – Self avoidance, disconnection from reality, avoidance of growth

We can go on….but can we see how the subconscious mind, which only matures to the approximate age of 12 and has very limited understanding, it works in binary…at first, yes no, on off, high low…can you see how the contradiction begins within just by the mix up and the spells in your words.

Of course as we move through these phases and release attachment, this includes our language, but it’s also a reason why you find keyholders bringing in new words to use in explanations as the words create a whole new vibrational message to the receiver, it ensures a direct shift as there can not be any distorted attachment to a word created for the purpose of the experience, which, when delivered by a light worker is in fact filled with a very high and impacting light code or feeling.

It often also brings a giggle, which encapsulates the new word in a even higher frequency.

Too many words have been diluted or changed, one of the favourites to use in the spiritual arena is narcissist, it’s everywhere but it’s now used so freely, an empath gets upset because a truth is delivered and all of a sudden the truth bearer is a narcissist.

From a psychology point of view I find it all very interesting especially with the ability to feel the words, and see behind the words, the fluff, the distortions and the smile to your face and yet the dagger in the back.

Pay attention now it’s come to light in this transmission because today will be a mighty fine day to observe Self within your reality and the reflections you are about to see.

The next few days are going to feel like a shake, as the universal proverbial rug is set to ripple…nope not strong enough word…FLAP…yes that’s it, it’s going to Flap like Aladdin’s rug in a hurricane.

Or not…

That depends on you entirely.

We have had a blast of Solar Winds reaching G1 storm levels, it has subsided for now and I’ll keep you posted.  Not just this but we have tiny sun spots from the NEW solar cycle which will give this movement a forward future focus, as though something inside is telling you this is essential for the future and you won’t be wrong.

To WEIGHT will highlight your experience that to wait is to be weighted…self sacrifice. And yet to action will bring instant realisations, instant manifestations and instant opportunity.

Why…

Because firstly our Sun has been pumped up and aligned to our Great Central Sun Sirius.  Fully charged and ready to apply masses of coded light, in the form of truth, is now aligned with our North Node, which brings in either what you require to clear in order for the new, or for those already aware and working through, it brings the dues, it’s time to reap.

And whilst this transits the North we have the opposition to the South, which provides the release of the old, making space for the North to bring in the winds of change.

Providing the work has been ticked off and dissolved…otherwise those glittery timeline loops that look all sparkly, exciting and new…..just turn out to be that same old same old of old, those looping patterns, that most have been highly trained to accept as life.

These solar blasts are now rare in comparison to what we are generally used to, during a solar maximum it’s the cosmic rays that feel all different, now we are in a solar minimum the solar rays can feel a little to high.

How you experience in your physical just depends on your frequency.

So those still muddling will experience all the typical ascension symptoms. Aches, pains, emotions, tension, aggression, headaches. Realities get loud people get grumpy BUT you see that’s because light activates and it allows you to SEE what we choose to ignore.

Higher octaves get super productive and surf the realisations and movements like a pro.

It’s easy, it’s fun, it’s creative BUT and here is another big BUTT we are in the midst of some powerful energies, some super DNA upgrades and I suggest to take this slow and steady regardless.

Sun is also trine Neptune bringing in more heightened awareness, more quantum codes, more dreamy and yet tangible data enters for us to ground in and INjoy the new sacred space.

Now…I mentioned bumps…shakes and rugs…

Mars is hitting a square with Uranus….whilst trine to Chiron so we could be seeing some very quick turn around, quick explosive presentations but the softness of the trine has the opportunity to bring gentle closure and healing to this masculine wounding we all hold.

The collective field has had no rest for weeks….let’s see how this manifests.

Hearts wide open Release all to fall away that no longer resonates Zero point everything within

And remember….we are working in the energetic field…all is completed from within

It’s simple 💙💙💙

*****

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[itsjayyyy]

March 20, 2019 8:30 am

Alright I’m in a much better state of mind now. It’s been an astronomically long time since I’ve given an actual update on my life, not just venting. wow, just checked back at my last few updates and i really haven’t written almost anything about this semester, but So Much has happened.

okay so first of all: i switched majors. again. so I’ve done a lot of reflecting, about my whole plan for life. social work seemed like a good field for me because I want to help people, right? but in cps, you’re not always working with people to help them, a lot of the time is spent working /against/ your client to help their kids, who are often too young to understand what’s going on. You’re basically always fighting; a lot of posts on the social work subreddit are all about how to deal with clients who are uncooperative, or yell at you, etc. I want to state that mom is wrong when she says I’m “terrible with people,” I’m actually quite easy to get along with as long as you don’t purposefully seek to offend. But I am terrible with people who try to kick up shit all the time. I mean, I can barely handle dealing with an annoyed guest at starbucks, how am I supposed to spend the rest of my career dealing with that times, like, 100? And yeah, I know I always say that I can totally live on a small income, but man I sure do love the security of having a nice savings account. And donating to online charities is practically a hobby of mine, so having a big income would make it a lot easier for me to live the life of that rich person who pays off 100 gofundme’s for medical costs every month. 

And I’ve come to realize that the atmosphere of a class matters more than anything in terms of how well I’ll do. Not to sound arrogant, but I’m smart enough that I can pass any class that I try, I just need to put in effort. And effort comes a lot easier with a good atmosphere. The reason why I failed comp sci the first time was because the class had no interaction whatsoever. I mean, it was online and over the summer, and the professor gave us weekly emails telling us what assignments were due that week but he stopped doing that halfway through the semester so I just forgot about the class tbh. I felt so disconnected. And frankly, I’ve felt that way about stem since high school when I was the only girl and was always singled out because of it. That just made me go into college with a negative mindset. Even retaking comp sci was only originally for some stupid grade forgiveness so I could keep my scholarship. But this semester is just...different. My professor is just so lively, in a way that I’ve never had a stem class be. He starts off every class with “good evening everyone, it’s another day in paradise here at ucf in orlando, florida” (and sometimes he adds on “and some day you all will realize that” which tbh sounds kind of like an ominous threat to me) and throughout the class he’s always joking around, we can ask questions in class through his own website, we have a discord group to talk about the assignments that the TA is also in (and he shared pics of his dog once), all that stuff. Our professor also tells us about all the other resources we have, like supplementary instruction, tutoring (somehow those are two separate things), “the cave” (which is a room i think in HEC that is just generally inhabited by random comp sci students who hang out and can help with assignments), office hours not only for him but also his 2 TA’s. I’ve never been to any of those physical places but it’s nice knowing that I have a support system.

I know it’s the atmosphere and not just me trying to work harder, too, because I really walked into that class at the start of the semester already hating it. I gave it the last section of my 5-subject notebook specifically for how little I cared about it. (To me, calc was my priority. And yet I’m coasting by in comp sci with a 99 and a 100 on the first two exams (class averages being 72 and 68 respectively), while the same stale, disconnected atmosphere of calc has earned me a 52.) Last semester I ended with a 47% (written in as a D though, not sure if that’s because my professor wanted to give me mercy or if it’s because he wanted the pay raise associated with having your students pass). Comp sci just became a fun subject again. Coding really is my favorite thing.

The final push was a post I saw on the social work subreddit. It was about a case manager (what I wanted to go into) who had done a home visit and was unable to hide her disgust of having roaches crawling near her. I absolutely cannot. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back, I realized I needed a sanitized office to work in. Before I made the official change, I talked to my coworker shayna about it, because she’s 26 and currently in her last semester of her AA, and next semester she’s hoping to transfer to ucf to get her bachelor’s. She said it is kinda stressful to take so long to get a degree, but as long as you get it, it’s okay. I know that now that I’ve wasted 2 years, I’m probably gonna graduate a semester late, but it’s okay because iris did too. And rose has been at valencia for 4 years and she’s still working on her 2 year degree so...

Wow that took a lot of words to say. Back to how my classes are going: I did the math, and I would need to get an 80 on all 3 of my remaining calc exams to get a C overall. Yeah I’m kinda pissed at myself for figuring out I like comp sci in the middle of the semester, when i already got an F on the first 2 exams. Before, my mentality was “I’m just taking this class for grade forgiveness, I can literally get a D and raise my gpa, and then I’m never going back to stem,” but now that I’m back in stem I need to get a C or better. I mean, I could get a D and then retake the class, but the college of engineering only allows for 3 tries on a class so I would really be on my last attempt before I’m completely kicked out and have to find a new major, wasting even more of my time. I know I would absolutely kill it on the third attempt, but man I sure am gonna hate myself for letting it get to that. It’s not an issue of “the material is too hard for me,” but rather “i didn’t care when I really should have.” I never studied for the first 2 exams and got over half of it right on both, imagine what I could do if i did study. Anyways, 80 sounds manageable, right? I mean, it’s the low end of a B. But this class is cumulative, to in order to do well on the next exam which is literally next week, I have to study literally the entire course instead of just these last few units. AND I need to go even farther back and study trig, since I never took a formal class on it and that’s why I failed calc the first time. It’s been 4 years since I looked at the unit circle.

I’m trying to cut back on how much time I spend on my phone. I really think that’s the biggest detriment to me, that I always feel the need to look at it. Definitely using the forest app more often. All the time I spend cycling between the 3 social media apps I use, where I just look at the same posts over and over again every day, could be better spent studying or doing something else productive. 

In comp 2, we’re doing a semester-long individual research project about anything rhetoric-based. It has to be multimodal, eg not just “what’s the symbolism in this classic novel” but rather about society and media. A lot of people chose stuff like “how do women’s magazines push certain beauty standards” or “how is greek life (sororities, not the country) portrayed in american media and is it really accurate,” but because the professor stated that we should be “creating new knowledge and building upon an academic conversation,” I tried to come up with something that nobody had done yet: I chose “what are the motivations of the incel community?” And yeah, it’s so unique that when we had to do a literature review of what other scholars have already said about the subject, there were literally no academic journals on it. My literature review is just about the layout of a subreddit’s community and how the members interact (which has been discussed before), and from there I’m going to apply that to the incel community. I’ve done “research” by reading through their posts. Wow I just tried to ctrl+f this blog for “incel” and only one instance came up, from like november last year. It’s crazy, this has been kind of a big deal for me this semester. You know all those self-hating posts about my appearance recently? Well, I walked into this project thinking “man incels are stupid they just need to stop being entitled and care about their appearance a little and maybe then they could get a girl” but as I read through the posts I realized I was wrong. A lot of these men have issues that can’t be easily fixed, like being short, balding too young, just general bad face structure, and because of that people would instantly judge them. One guy even talked about how he had cerebral palsy and needs to walk with a cane, and his super handsome brother’s girlfriend was super patronizing to him. Frankly, a lot of their posts spoke to me. I mean, before I had braces I had a really recessed chin and while everyone said “oh I didn’t even notice,” you could tell that it made me less attractive and hence why nobody has ever asked me out. Not saying it’s the only cause, but you’d be lying if you said looks didn’t matter. Especially the posts about being considered uglier than their siblings, that really hit home for me. it’s like, I see their pain and I know how badly it hurts, but at the same time as a woman I’m obviously going to disagree with their response. When women were given harsh beauty standards, we took two routes: either try to improve artificially (makeup and plastic surgery), or work to dismantle it (body positivity movement). Men, who have always been a little entitled, just blame others. I feel like if incels started an actual body positivity movement for men, we could really go somewhere.

Damn, its been so long since my last genuine update that frankly I’m not sure where to go from here. Like so much has happened and I can’t really pick out anything that seems particularly noteworthy after 3 months. I think I’m gonna end this update here, then, and just promise to give more frequent updates from now on so I can go into more detail. Today I’m going to write an email for the future (like i try to a few times a year) to rehash the whole major change (since my last letter was all about how i just switched to social work), then do the comp homework, then study for calc I guess.

[ismokeitsite]

i ate some funky edibles and i think they transported me to another fucking dimension

i ate some funky edibles and i think they transported me to another fucking dimension

1. the worms

something real fuckin weird happened to me a few days ago. a lot of you aren’t going to believe it, but i've got photo evidence to back up my story, so i'm just gonna start from the beginning.

last friday, i got home from work and decided to eat some edibles, some wormy-looking gummies. i'd gotten em from one of my work mates and he told me to only eat a couple. "these are some dank little lads," he kept saying. but i'd had a stressful day so i snarfed down three of them bastards. i turned on some music and plopped onto the couch with my laptop to do some brain-dead web browsing.

right as I sat down, my phone buzzed, and when i picked it up i noticed something was wrong with my home screen. a few of the apps looked like they were somehow... torn? like right down the middle. and in the spot where i usually keep my google maps app, there was just a blank space. as far as i know you can't intentionally leave spaces in between apps on the ios home screen, so i actually took a screenshot of it.

https://i.imgur.com/AG8v087.png

i started messing around with the "torn" apps to see if there were any other funky issues with them. none popped up, so i exited the app and then decided to tap the empty spot where my maps app normally goes.

my phone didn't react to the touch, but a moment later i noticed the song playing on my spotify playlist had changed. it sounded like "band on the run" by wings, but somehow distorted, sped up, with extra instruments backing the track. it was a fuckin banger of a remix so i sat there singin along to it while clicking around between different websites. bein a bit of a news junkie, i typed in theatlantic.com

this is what i saw.

https://i.imgur.com/MXtz3vK.jpg

i sat there thinking... president jobs? at first i figured the atlantic had a new nickname for trump, what with him always goin on about adding jobs to the economy. but then i noticed the little photo of steve jobs in the top right corner.

that's when i decided to do a google search.

https://i.imgur.com/a9xIgIL.jpg

at this point, i started actually freaking out. i went back and took photos of the tabs i'd already opened.

i opened a hundred news stories, wiki pages, reddit threads, youtube videos. they all told the same story.

either i was completely tripping balls, or steve jobs didn't die in 2011. he got treatment for his cancer early enough to stop it. after he got better, he left apple and started getting more involved in politics. he ran against clinton and sanders in the democratic presidential primaries, and won. he then ran against donald trump in the general election, and beat him by just a few electoral college votes. steve fucking jobs was now the 45th president of the united states.

on youtube, i did a quick search for "steve jobs donald trump debate." a video from nbc’s youtube channel appeared.

so i watched it. all 99 minutes of it.

2. the debate

trumpets blared as images of steve jobs (older looking, yes, and now sort of fat) and donald trump flashed across the screen. jobs tinted blue, trump in red.

hands shaking, i snapped the picture below:

https://i.imgur.com/KrDuctC.jpg

the feed cut to lester holt, seated at a bigass desk directly in front of the stage. as he explained the rules of the debate, the camera panned to reveal the scene. sure enough, there jobs was at stage-left, slightly hunched, his fist at his chin, eyes downcast. across from him, trump stood statue-still, gripping the edges of his lectern tightly. trump glared over at jobs looking like he wanted to say something to his opponent. jobs didn't seem to be aware of him. he was lost in his own thoughts.

lester invited the candidates to give their opening statements.

jobs went first. to be honest, he sounded like a republican to me. he talked about the need for deregulation of business and growing threats from the chinese. he called for a new “space race,” this time in the realm of artificial intelligence. as he spoke, he began pacing rapidly.

“the people of the world don’t know what they want,” jobs said. “the world needs leadership, for someone to show the right way forward. so america has a choice. we can waste our energy on vain attempts to return to the year 1950, or we can take responsibility for designing the world of 2050.”

trump’s opening statement was exactly as i remembered it from when i watched him debate hillary clinton live two years ago. he spoke about america’s crumbling infrastructure, its bad trade deals, its wasteful wars. he vowed to Make America Great Again. wrapping up, he declared himself to be “the law and order candidate," and "the candidate who will defend family values.” after pausing to let that line sink in, he said, “i know how important it is for fathers to stick around and raise their children.”

i thought that was a pretty nasty angle. pretty much everybody knows that jobs’s birth parents gave him up for adoption, and that jobs himself had rarely been there for his daughter, lisa.

“mister jobs, you get the first response,” lester said.

jobs stepped forward, glaring at trump. in a quiet voice, he spoke:

“you want to talk about fatherhood?” he said. “my birth father gave me nothing.” jobs spat the words.

“you, though. you would be nothing without your father.”

then jobs strode, long arcing steps, across the stage, stopping near some imaginary dividing line in the middle, a finger aimed directly at trump.

“you claim your father only ever gave you ‘a small loan of a million dollars,’ but anyone who looks would find that your father gave you hundreds of millions. he gave you everything you claim as your own.”

trump took a step forward, wagging his own finger, his lips curled into that O shape that looks like a puckered arsehole. “not true,” he said.

at this, jobs nearly sprinted across the stage toward trump, arms in the air like an animal about to attack. a woman in the audience let out an involuntary “oh!” and trump himself visibly recoiled as jobs got in his face, now almost screaming:

“everything in your entire life, your name, your gaudy, golden homes, your many wives, all of whom you cheat on, all of things in your life that you cherish, you’d have none of it if it wasn’t for fred trump!”

the crowd started getting rowdy at this, and lester tried to cut in. he got out “mister jobs–“ before jobs spun on his heel, marching toward lester’s desk.

“i’m standing next to this man on stage, and we’re supposed to be equals?” he yelled. slowly, he leaned in toward lester and the cameras. in this fucking chilling tone, he said, “we are not equals.”

lester leaned back in his chair, his mouth open, but no sound coming out. jobs straightened up, gliding back to the middle of the stage. he held his hands out to trump, like a man offering a gift.

“i am ten times the businessman you are,” he said, his voice now totally calm. “you don’t deserve to be here, on this stage. you are nothing but a cheap clown in a wig. now why don't you stop pretending you’re something you’re not, and crawl back to that tower you bought using your daddy’s money.”

lester tried to regain control of the crowd, but they were in total anarchy.

for the first time since i’d started watching this video, i became aware of my own hands. i reached for the mouse and clicked on the timeline to re-watch the final lines of jobs’s diatribe and the crowd’s reaction. in the individual voices of the crowd’s roar, i could hear what sounded like every human expression: outbursts of anger, shouts of laughter, cries of something like fear. some object -- a red hat? -- was thrown toward the stage, and a brief struggle ensued as secret service agents escorted the tosser from the room.

finally, lester regained control of the room by repeatedly shouting “MISTER TRUMP, HOW WILL YOU RESPOND?”

trump used his time to protest, accusing jobs of being “very, very unfair.” he then tried his own line of attack, referencing jobs’s well-known drug usage (“is that really the kind of person you want for a president?”) but jobs declined to use his allotted time for a response when lester gave him the opportunity.

the debate proceeded like this for the rest of the night. although trump responded animatedly to each of jobs’s points, jobs refused to address trump directly. when not speaking in response to one of lester's policy questions, jobs seemed to almost disappear into the shadows in his corner of the stage. even as trump increased his attacks, at one point again bringing up jobs's failures as a father, jobs seemed almost not to hear him.

the one exception came later in the evening, when trump made a passing reference to his own christian faith. jobs audibly scoffed and muttered “yeah, right,” just loud enough for the crowd could hear.

trump stopped short. “excuse me?” he said, eyes wide.

jobs looked up, his face open and earnest.

“you’re a fraud, and everyone knows it,” he said.

he held trump’s gaze for a moment, then relaxed back into his default pose, head on fist, disengaged.

trump looked shocked. he stammered something -- “unbelievable, this guy” -- then tried to return to the point he’d been making.

about at this moment, i noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

my phone's screen had lit up, but was totally black.

the white apple logo appeared in the center of the screen. the phone had reset on its own. a moment passed, and the lock screen appeared. i was dimly aware of trump's voice suddenly cutting off, and i looked up at the screen. to my shock, i saw donald trump standing on stage with hillary clinton. they shook hands and stood side by side, waving to the crowd as lester holt delivered his closing remarks about the debate.

more confused now than ever, i scrubbed back in the video to earlier in the debate, and there the two of them were: hillary in a bright red pantsuit, trump in the same suit he always wears. the video now had a different title: "The First Presidential Debate: Hillary Clinton And Donald Trump (Full Debate) | NBC News"

3. the photos

all of this happened about a week ago. in the time since, i've basically been in a state of shock. i haven't been able to go to work, or really move much from my couch. for a few hours after my phone reset, i convinced myself that i'd just gotten too fucking stoned and made the whole thing up in my head

then i checked the photos app on my phone.

for a whole week, i've been back in the reality where steve jobs is dead, and donald trump is president, but still those photos i took remain on my phone.

i've uploaded the photos to imgur and shared my story here in part because i still don't fucking believe it and i need more eyes on the evidence.

i think those fucking gummy worms briefly transported me to a parallel dimension.

Submitted October 07, 2018 at 04:27PM by SubredditStories via reddit

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Worthy

One-Shot

Description: What happens when Steve goes to collect the Soul Stone instead of Natasha and Clint?

Warning: Curse words, spoilers for Avengers Endgame

This is for the awesome, caring and super-talented @jtargaryen18 's writing challenge. She eased my mind about the plot. Thank you 😘 Click here to know the rules and participate!

Main Masterlist

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

...

Who was he? Steve Rogers? Or Captain America? Are they both different people? Or are they two sides of the same coin?

Steve wondered as he gazed down the cliff at Vormir, home to the Soul Stone.

When he had first arrived alone on the barren planet, he had been shocked and angry to see Red Skull guarding the infinity stone. To think that he went under the ice all those years ago stood for nothing. To have lost his life, his partner, his best friend and for what? Hydra was still active, the world was still suffering from war and now Red Skull was still alive, floating in space.

But as he understood Red Skull's predicament, Steve realised that while he himself was a man out of time, Red Skull was stuck here in his miserable existence till the end of time, out of place, out of touch. That brought him some satisfaction.

He was glad they had decided to send Natasha and Clint with Tony, Bruce and Scott to 2012. There was just too much ground to cover with 3 infinity stones in the same city. It made sense to have more eyes on the ground.

There was no way Steve would sacrifice anybody from his team for the stone. They had lost too many lives already. And if they were successful, then they would need all hands on deck to manage the chaos that would follow once everybody was brought back. 

Steve sat on a rock and pulled out his compass. He sighed as he saw Peggy, "What do you think Peg?" he murmured, lightly running his thumb over the photograph. 

After a few minutes, he clicked a button on the rim and the compass flipped open, revealing the hidden compartment beneath. He pulled out a folded piece of paper from within. It was as old and worn-out as Peggy's photograph. He closed the compass and looked at the other image. A black and white Bucky laughed back at him while at his side, a thin, scrawny Steve was looking scornfully at the camera, his face bruised. Steve chuckled as he remembered the day this photograph was taken. He had gotten into another one of his infamous back-alley fights. Some drunken idiot had punched Bucky because he had been flaunting his Sergeant's uniform at the bar amongst the ladies. While Bucky could have easily mopped the floor with the guy, Steve had decided to step in and push the drunken idiot. Then, as it always happened, Steve was dragged into the back-alley to be turned into a punching bag, with Bucky finally saving his skinny ass.

This photograph was taken later that night, with Bucky laughing at the whole incident.

The cold Vormir wind brought Steve back to the present. Ever since he could remember, he wanted to do the right thing, save the innocent people and just help those who needed it the most. 

While the asthmatic 90-pound Steve Rogers couldn't do that, the 240-pound Captain America was able to do that and much more.

That's why he loved being Captain America. He could finally do what he had always wanted to do. It didn't matter whether the Government labelled him as a criminal or whether the press questioned his every move. He was able to help people, change lives for the better and protect the little guy. Isn't that what mattered?

He opened the compass again. Looking at both the photographs, he whispered, "Thank you."

He picked up his shield and faced the cliff.

"What are you doing?" asked Red Skull, as if guessing his next move, "How do you know this will work? You are Captain America," he declared. 

Steve looked at him, his mouth turned into a smirk, "How would I know? I am just a kid from Brooklyn," and with that, Captain America jumped into the abyss below.

…

Steve's entire body was shivering with cold as he lay in the water. With his teeth clattering, he barely managed to sit upright. He started breathing rapidly as he took in his surroundings. He was still on Vormir. As he tried to get up, he realised two things. One, he was completely naked except for his time travel bracelet and vibranium shield, and two, he was holding something in his right hand. He opened his palm to look at the yellow Soul Stone. Almost laughing in relief, Steve looked down at himself. He saw he had the same scrawny body as the Steve in the old photograph. Shivering further with cold, he pressed a few buttons on his bracelet.

…

One by one as the Avengers returned to the compound, they looked around excitedly at their peers, relieved to find them safe. Steve was the last one to return. His knees buckled as soon as he landed. Hiding his naked bony body behind the shield, he threw up on the floor, his body not able to handle the stress of the quantum time-travel.

"Oh my God who is that?!" Scott exclaimed as Tony, Natasha and Clint stepped tentatively towards Steve. As his body convulsed with pain, he held up the stone towards them. The second Nat took the stone, Steve collapsed.

…

Steve woke up two days later on a hospital bed. 

"We are trying our best to keep your bodily functions from collapsing onto themselves. You should be thankful that we have medicines to treat most of your ailments. What were you thinking?" Tony spat with frustration.

Steve saw large swollen bags under Tony's red eyes. Steve was willing to bet that Tony hadn't slept ever since his return. He smiled, "It had to be done Tony," said Steve, his voice flat, having lost its 'Captain America depthness'.

"What happened on Vormir?" asked Natasha gently. Steve tried to sit, "The stone demanded a sacrifice. A soul for the soul stone. So I sacrificed him."

"Yeah and left us without a leader. What are we supposed to do now? You are meant to rally the troops. You are meant to lead. How do you think you will do that if you need an asthma inhaler every time you try to take a walk around the compound?" Tony voiced his concerns. "Tony, calm down. Shhh now," Thor said from his chair. 

"You look like you need a sandwich," Rocket commented, seated besides Thor.

"Your vitals look good Cap... ahem I-I mean Steve," Bruce flustered while checking Steve's reports.

"Captain America was never about one person. It is about what the title stands for; Bravery to face any challenge, Courage to stand up against the greatest powers for the right reason and Having a clear sense of duty, of what's right and wrong. Captain America can be anyone," Steve said, pointedly staring at Natasha. 

He turned to look at the shield placed by his bedside table. Carefully, he picked it up with a bit of struggle and held it out for her.

"I can't think of a better person to lead us," Steve said decidedly. Wide-eyed, Natasha looked at him with bewilderment. "No Steve. I am a spy. I am not a soldier. I cannot be trusted with…"

"You are not a spy. Not anymore. You have been leading the Avengers not just on earth, but across the galaxy, especially when most of us had given up. You are right though. You are not a soldier. You are a leader, Captain."

Natasha looked at Steve, her eyes brimming with tears, her voice almost breaking "I have too much red on my ledger Steve."

"You wiped that ledger when you joined the Avengers Nat. You deserve this," Clint supported her.

As Natasha took the shield and tried it on, Tony asked her, "We will have to render your suit. Do you want black with Red, White and Blue?" Natasha nodded. As Tony left, Natasha mouthed the words, "Thank you," towards Steve as he brushed it off.

"Have we brought everybody back yet?" Steve asked. 

"No. We are just finishing the gauntlet. It should be ready by tomorrow," Banner said.

Clint looked at Natasha proudly. "We have a female Captain America now."

"No," Steve said. He grinned at Natasha, "We have a Captain America now."

…

2014 Nebula kept her attention at Antman near the Quantum Time Machine. In the last two days there had been a lot of activity in the compound thanks to Steve's return. It would have served as a good distraction, but unfortunately, there were people working around the time machine. She was itching to bring her father and his army to this future. However, for that, she would need to have patience. A lot of patience. They were planning to undo the snap tomorrow, that's when she planned to strike. She cannot afford to fail her father. She must not.

…

"All the best guys," said Steve as he sat in the car, ready to leave the compound. There was going to be a tremendous blast of gamma radiation from the snap. Steve understood that he might not survive the blast and instead, had offered to bring falafels from the nearby restaurant for lunch.

He reached the modest Middle Eastern eatery. Only two tables were occupied when he placed his large order to go. The server looked at him in suspicion. He doubted whether Steve would be able to carry all the packages by himself. Still, he shrugged, large orders such as these were a boon in the post-snap world. 

After 5 minutes, the restaurant shook with a wave of energy blast. Steve fell down from his chair with the impact. As he got up, brushing himself off, he saw black dust materialising in front of him. He looked on as the dust came together to form a person, a man. Steve noticed this happening all around the restaurant. Within a span of a few minutes, the entire restaurant was filled to capacity, with more people appearing on the sidewalk. 

He heard terrified screams of people around him. Then guns were fired into the air. Steve turned, trying to determine the source of the violence, when he felt the ground shake.

"EARTHQUAKE!" someone screamed and they all tried to take cover, mostly bumping into one another. There was a loud deafening sound of a missile exploding, then another 4-5 such sounds in rapid succession as the ground shook relentlessly with the impact of the missiles. 

Shit, Steve thought. Who would be attacking them now?

A few moments later, when everything went quiet, Steve stepped out of the restaurant and looked in the direction of the Avengers Compound. He could see dark smoke rising into the sky, with a huge spaceship eclipsing the sun. Thanos.

Without a second thought, Steve entered the car. "F.R.I.D.A.Y," he commanded, "Take me to the compound right now." "There has been an attack Mr Rogers, I am not sure if…" the AI tried to reason with him, but Steve interrupted, "Now!" "Yes Mr Rogers," she said in resignation.

…

He reached as close to the compound as the car could take him. The debris of the buildings and the gaping holes in the ground preventing the car from going any further. Steve stepped down, and started making his way to the centre of the ground.

As he used his asthma inhaler, he realised Tony was right. If he couldn't even walk this much without needing his inhaler, how can he help them? 

When Steve reached the centre, his heart broke at the scene before him. Tony was lying on the ground having sustained multiple injuries. Natasha was trying to get up, her arms and legs badly cut. Thor was fighting with Thanos, but it seemed that was a losing battle as well. Steve couldn't just give up. He never had.

Looking around him at the ground, he saw a big piece of concrete. Lifting it, he tried to throw out with all his strength, but the concrete didn't even fall within 10 yards of Thanos. His eyes then went to Thor's Mjolnir on the ground. He still had to try right? 

He rushed towards the hammer and pulled on its handle, Mjolnir feeling surprisingly light in his hands. He aimed and swung for the ugly purple head. With Mjolnir hitting the mark, the hammer dutifully came back to Steve. 

"I KNEW IT!" exclaimed Thor, his reaction earning him a kick from Thanos.

Thanos's surprise was short-lived. He charged towards the little guy. Steve threw the hammer again but Thanos easily deflected it with his double-edged sword.

Before he could reach Steve, Natasha attacked Thanos, diverting his attention. "F.R.I.D.A.Y," she screamed, "get Steve a sandwich."

This isn't the time for a joke, Steve thought as he summoned the hammer and threw it at Thanos again.

Thanos threw Natasha to the ground and headed for Steve. A back-handed smack sent Steve flying in the air. He wouldn't have survived the fall, if it hadn't been for the S.A.N.D.W.H.I.C.H.H- an iron-man suit in the darkest shade of blue. The suit wrapped itself around Steve as it broke his fall. "Welcome Mr Rogers," greeted F.R.I.D.A.Y, "Do you like your new suit? It stands for

S - Steve

A - Always

N - Needs

D - Dangerous

W - Weapons

I - In-order-to

C - Cover

H - His

H - Homies"

Steve was still panting from the impact of the smack as he lay on the ground in the suit. "Not one of Tony's best acronyms," he managed to say between breaths. "Yeah," agreed the AI, "but he only put this together last night."

Steve struggled to get up again. He heard Thanos mumble something, but he couldn't care less. He stumbled in the new suit, barely being able to walk towards the giant alien, but still, willing to fight till his last breath. Just then, the microphone in his suit crackled a bit, "C-Cap, you ther--re?" He heard Sam's voice…

…

Steve couldn't believe it. The entire universe had come to fight with Thanos. He looked at humans and aliens alike, pissed off and ready to face the biggest threat to the universe. He managed to make it to the front of the line besides Thor, summoning the Mjolnir.

Natasha smiled at the army behind her, then turned to look at Thanos with a deadly stare.

She raised her shield as she called out to the warriors, her voice bellowing on the battlefield, "AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!" 

[dailyaudiobible]

03/12/2019 DAB Transcript

Numbers 16:41-18:32, Mark 16:1-20, Psalms 55:1-23, Proverbs 11:7

Today is the 12th day of March. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian. It is my joy and honor and privilege to come around this global campfire together with you. I’ve thrown a couple brand-new big logs on. We’ve got a roaring light and warmth here. And, so, we just took come in out of whatever's going on, day or night, out of the cold and out of the dark and warm ourselves around this global campfire as we feel one another's presence. The fact of the matter is that whenever we listen to the Daily Audio Bible we are not listening to it alone. It doesn't matter what time of day were doing it. So, here we are around the global campfire ready to take the next step. The next step will take us back into the book of Numbers and some of the chaos that’s brewing as is the children of Israel get their minds around the fact that they're not going into the promised land, that they’re going to be in the desert for a generation. We’ll pick that story backup today, Numbers chapter 16 verse 41 through 18 verse 32 today.

Commentary:

Okay. So, being betrayed by somebody, especially somebody we trust and hold close, that can be such a profoundly damaging thing to our heart, right, because it touches everything, especially if we love that person. And that betrayal can change the course of our lives. And if you've ever experienced this then you know what I'm talking about. And the fact is that at one point or another during our lives you probably experience some form of the trail and usually when we’re going through that it feels like we’re the only one in the world going through it. So, let me just read a couple excerpts from our reading in Psalms today. “My heart is in anguish within me, the terrors of death fallen upon me, fear and trembling come up on me and horror overwhelms me. Ruin is in its midst. Oppression and fraud do not depart from its marketplace. For it is not an enemy who taunts me then I could bear it. It is not an adversary who deals insolently with me, then I could hide from him. It is, you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend, his speech was as smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart. His words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords.” Okay. So, I mean we’re getting to know David's heart through the Psalms, even though we haven't met David in the Bible yet, although we will. And David wrote this. So, obviously these kinds of feelings have been going on for thousands of years. And David wasn't just a king. He was a well respected poet and musician. And, so, often what we find in the Psalms is like a masterful articulation of the issues that we find in our hearts, but we don't exactly know how to give language to them. And the Psalms gives us language and we can say something out loud. This is how it feels, or this is what I'm facing. Well, then it's exposed, it’s not this nebulous dark cloud anymore. It's a clear obstacle, but we can see it. And in this case David's talking about betrayal and his words are like a hand reaching out over time offering solidarity, hope. And as David reached a crescendo of this particular Psalm, this song, where his hope lies becomes clear in the midst of the madness. And may we hold onto this and may it come clear in the midst of ours. “I call to God and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan and He hears my voice. He redeems my soul in safety from the battle that I wage for many are arrayed against me.” So, let's all take heart today. We’re not alone. We’ll never be alone. The Lord hears our voices, right? He will walk with us. He will walk with us and He will carry us, if necessary through this. In fact, He's the only one, right? He's the only one we can let into this wounded place. He's the only one who can heal our broken heart.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit, we’ve been opening our hearts to You for a lot of reasons and inviting You to do a lot of things and You are and we’re grateful. As disruptive as it might be, as bumpy as it might be, as less smooth sailing as we might've expected we can feel You in it and it feels like work that needs to be done and so we’re grateful, but in what has been brought up today, we don't need solutions per se, we need You, we need comfort, we need to feel Your presence wrapping around us. We need to know were not alone, we need to know that You’ll get down into the mud and drag us out and carry us forward if that's what's necessary. And, so, we’re reaching to You. We surrender to You. We stop thrashing around in all of this and we calm down like a baby at its mother's breast and invite Your Holy Spirit to come carry us forward. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In Jesus’ name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, and its home base, and it is where you find out what’s going on around here. So, certainly stay connected, stay up-to-date with what's going on.

The More Gathering for women’s coming up and I have seen lots of broken hearts begin to mend at events like that, which is one of the reasons why we go to all of the effort and the trouble and the warfare and the battling to make it happen. And it's gonna happen one more time in Georgia. One month from yesterday is when it begins, April 11th through the 14th and registration is still open and hopefully you can come. It's time for some healing, if it's time for some new perspective, if it's time for more then this is for you. Hope to see you there. So, you can get all the details at moregathering.com or you can go to dailyaudiobible.com and click the Initiatives section and that'll take you to the same place. And, yeah, we are praying into this and eager to see all that Jesus will do in the mountains of North Georgia. So, check it out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link, it’s on the homepage. I thank you humbly and profoundly for your partnership. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And as always, if you have a prayer request or comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible my name is Isabella I’m from Nebraska. I’m a little behind on catching up with the Daily Audio Bible and I was listening to February 26th and I the…I heard Chanel from Arizona and kind have been provoked to reach out in asking for prayer for mental health and that was the push I needed to call. It is something I’ve been struggling with my entire life and it recently kind of tipped over again. And I’ve been trying very hard to battle it on my own. And, so, I’m asking for prayer in that to keep faith in God, to not let fear overrun me because that’s what I’ve been doing. This is a community that I’m so grateful for. I listen to it every day and listening to a people’s prayers and encouraging one another gives me the strength to go every day. So, I thank each and every one of you for that. I’m praying for you all. God, bless.

Hello, my DAB family this is Candace from the Oregon. Since losing my husband Brad two years ago March 11th I’ve been thrust into a completely different way of deciding what’s next and understanding out of move forward with God. Brad was my home. But even more deeply Jesus was not only home but love that is truly love and life that is truly life and thank goodness we can’t lose Him. In January I had thought because of the encouragement from my dear friend Yarka that it was time to move ahead on doing some sort of foreign mission work but when I really got quiet before the Lord about if you refocused my attention rather and instead to getting my house in order. Digging out the closets has led to reading prayers and finding significant keepsakes going back through my life. So of the most painful times are difficult to review but at the same time it’s stunning to see how God answered our prayers and is so faithful and true. I do need extra prayers right now even though mostly I just want to thank you for all your love and support. Over the last week I’ve had moments of deep sadness that come and then go. I finally realized it’s because we’re in the first days of lent, that time of year when such a glorious time of my life would end so suddenly. Oh, and it was truly glorious. Such a fulfillment to be in such partnership with Brad loving God and soaking in God’s love. It was a year’s Jubilee except it continued on for two years. The Lord has told me that the best is yet to come. We all know that in the big picture. We will soon get to see our Jesus face-to-face. Meanwhile in the immediate days ahead I receive the Lord’s joy and look forward to his surprises like when he turned up unexpectedly and made breakfast on the beach for the disciples in John chapter 21. Brad was so good at bursting on the scene into what would’ve been a dull day and changing it to delight. He must’ve gotten that from Jesus. The Lord’s name be praised.

I’m Peg from Texas the almost blind grandmother appreciating deeply since I can’t read very well my hearing. What a gift from God. I listen to the DAB in the darkness of the night appreciating Brian’s strong and clear voice, appreciating his expression as he reads as he feeds us with the word. Such to gift. I am grateful also for all of you for the privilege and the joy of praying with you and for you and thanking you for praying for my concerns. I come now to ask for prayer for John and Whitney who Lord willing will marry on March the 16th. I come asking you to pray that both will have a longing to give their lives completely to the Lord Jesus, that they will honor God individually and in their marriage. Pray that they will take the Christian counseling they have received seriously, that the Holy Spirit will give understanding of God’s truth in His word of His claims that both will be drawn to Jesus. Please pray that the service will minister to all, bride and groom, to her family who have never experienced a wedding in a church. Pray for family unity, for family support. I don’t know who in the wedding party understands that God is love, that he sent his son to die for the remission of sin that we might truly live. Pray for the guest. Pray for the __ mothers please. I’m a grandmother concerned longing for all my grandchildren to love and to honor the Lord Jesus in every way with all their hearts. I know that there are other grandmothers and grandfathers with the same burden, the same longing. I join you and pray…praying that God’s claims will be rightly understood and that homes will be built on God’s truth. May the Lord bless all of you. I thank you for praying with me.

Hello Christians, I’m calling today on the marker being separated from my wife for five months and one week. And it’s been the most painful season of my life. And I have much of the responsibility for the season that we’re in, but I have hope and I believe in the power of prayer and if you’re going through something similar I hope that you can take hope and courage in Christ who is our only hope. And I ask for your prayers today, that my wife and I would be able to be so overwhelmed by the love and the grace of Jesus that we can look at each other in compassion, that we can look past our hurts and pains, that we can come to understanding, that we can be reunited. There is hope and I have not lost it and I will continue to put my hope in Jesus regardless of the outcome of my marriage because He’s worthy but I appreciate your prayers for strength and courage to keep doing what is right, to keep moving forward, and for restoration in Jesus’ name. Thank you.

Hi, yes, hello Daily Audio Bible family this is a Guardian from New England. This is my first time calling. I’ve been listening for a few years now, on my third year. First, thanks to Brian and in his family for this wonderful ministry. I’m calling today, I heard a woman call in last weekend from Colorado and I felt compelled to call in. She called for prayers for pastor’s little son Noah who has epilepsy and her call hit pretty hope close to home for me because I have a son with epilepsy as well. And, so, I wanted to call and pray for Noah and ask the whole Daily Audio Bible to pray for him as well. So, and I’m going to apologize in advance if I ask for something to specific and to direct. So, Father, I’m asking today, I’m asking for You to heal little Noah out in Colorado and heal him from his epilepsy, so he can live a normal life like any other little boy. I’m asking…I’m asking that You would do this in such a way that his healing is so complete and so sudden that his healing that he wakes up tomorrow and doesn’t have any more seizures and the doctors are so astounded that they have only one explanation that it was You and You intervened and perform this miracle for Noah. So, I’m asking this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ amen.