#like realistically with physical touch in particular

[grad-writes]

snippets from Rookie 54

Lucanis and Rook settle into their relationship.

Since Lucanis and Rook officially began courting, some things changed within the Lighthouse—and some things didn't.

They still both got up at dawn to run through stretches and morning drills—as they had every day since Lucanis had settled in. But now, Rook greeted a startled Lucanis with a beaming smile and a loud, smacking kiss on the cheek. He had been so flustered the first time, he had not even returned it—and just stood with red ears in the middle of the courtyard.

Illario, of course, had been extremely amused.

(The second morning though, Lucanis had been better prepared. He stoically ignored his cousin's snickers, and made sure to brush her cheek with a quieter, but no less fervent, kiss in return).

Rook learned that while he wasn't one for public displays of affection, it didn't mean he was unaffectionate. Though outwardly he didn't touch her much more than necessary, she felt his heavy gaze fall upon her more often than not. His eyes traced her form languidly as she stretched and ran with Illario, and again when they split up; Rook to practice her spellcasting, and Lucanis to spar with his cousin. She could always feel his quiet presence in the background watching as if he were trying to commit her movements to memory.

And when they did touch—to help pull the other further into a stretch, or to correct a technique, or to lend a supporting hand when spinning through the air—his fingers lingered just a few moments longer than usual, a fleeting warmth against her skin.

Lucanis still always made breakfast. Only now, it had become Rook's favourite time of day.

He always had coffee and food ready on the table by the time she and Illario returned from washing up. Illario was chatty in the mornings and tended to keep up most of the conversation—but Lucanis would sit right beside her, thigh warm against hers, while they ate and laughed. They would bask in each others' presence—Lucanis in her sunny glow, and Rook in his comforting warmth—as their other companions slowly joined the table.

Read more on ao3

[hiscalliope]

contained bliss ⋆.𐙚 ̊

summary: u and luigi have gone into a trendy department store on memorial day weekend to buy a couple dresses for the summer. luigi gets a bit handsy when he sees ur naked body in the fitting room lighting, especially so once the red gingham mini dress makes an appearance

warning: clitoral stimulation, sex act performed in semi public setting. this oneshot is an expansion on this post i made a few days ago. (song below is what is playing the background of the fitting room during the fun times) did kind of model the store and the fitting rooms after reformation lol

2,257 words (the longest thing i’ve written yet so im slowly making my way to being able to write longer fics)

⋆.𐙚 ̊ ⋆.𐙚 ̊ ⋆.𐙚 ̊ ⋆.𐙚 ̊ ⋆.𐙚 ̊ ⋆.𐙚 ̊ ⋆.𐙚 ̊ ⋆.𐙚 ̊ ⋆.𐙚 ̊ ⋆.𐙚 ̊ ⋆.𐙚 ̊

“So, we’ve got this dress here…” you gesture to a wheat colored dress decorated with blue flowers and lace detailing along the neckline and sleeve cuffs, great for a stroll in the park or brunch with friends on the weekend.

“And this one here… Oh my God! No wait, this one would be so thrifty of me to reuse on Halloween and be like a fifties pinup girl!” you smile brightly, holding up a red gingham mini dress so that your boyfriend could see what the vision is. 

“What d’ya think? Should I buy it? It's like two hundred twenty dollars though. Realistically, how many uses am I going to get out of this?”

You and your boyfriend, Luigi, have come out shopping for Memorial Day Weekend. Luigi didn’t  necessarily enjoy the act of shopping and heavily engaging in consumerism but rather he enjoyed the quality time he got to spend with you since he works really long hours during the week. The two of you were currently sitting inside a considerably large fitting room at a trendy department store, pop and some alternative music playing in the background faintly. On this Saturday afternoon, the boutique is bustling with customers out on the floor and customers walking in and out of the fitting room area.

The particular fitting room that you and Luigi find yourselves in is pretty spacious, containing a full length mirror that is kept clean and a medium sized ottoman looking seat that your boyfriend immediately parked his little behind on. It even has a little tablet screen attached to the wall where you could have more pieces of clothing brought to the fitting room or get different sizes of clothing you’re already trying on to compare. Quite innovative and quite modern if you ask yourself.

Luigi looks at you intently through the reflection of the mirror, eyes following the curvature of your body.

“You like that one? Try it on.” he said, voice taking on an extra layer of depth than it normally did.

You unbuttoned your jeans, push them down and off your body. You slowly unbutton your delicate linen blouse, push it off your shoulder to reveal a basic white bralette.

Observing the gingham dress, you stiffen the fabric of the bodice area, getting a feel for how heavy the fabric is.

“I think I need to take off my bra for this one. The dress is gonna be pretty tight on the bust.” you say, not really looking at him but rather still examining the dress.

“Do you now?”, the gravel in his voice still present.

“Yeah, duh. The bra adds a extra layer I don’t need. My boobs aren’t even that big, I could definitely go bra-free for this.”

Unhooking your bralette, you let it drop to the floor, your eyes land on the mirror to find a noticeable change in your boyfriend’s facial expression. It’s the look you know all too well, the lust in his eyes was palpable, tangible as if you could physically touch it. His eyes are laser focused on your tits. Through the reflection, you’re able to see some tenting going on in his jeans.

“Lu…no. We’re in a goddamn fitting room.”

You stare at him in disbelief, utter shock at the direction you know the conversation is going to take.

Luigi’s lips twist into a cocky grin, the look he gets when he knows he’s in complete control of a situation. He looks really, really, really pleased with himself. 

Your boyfriend lifts his thick eyebrows and rolls his eyes in defiance, as if behaving lustfully in public is of no consequence to him. 

“Yeah… and?” 

The smug grinning is from him. Of course, he’s getting an absolute thrill over seeing you flustered.

“Luigi…”

You bulge your eyes at him, still looking at him through the mirror reflection, your voice coming out like a combination of both a whisper and shout. A whisper-shout if you will.

“Y/N…” He says teasingly, doing a little imitation of your exasperated tone, a huge grin once again invading the lower half of his face. 

“Just put on the dress already. Lemme see it.”

Tentatively, you grab the gingham mini dress off the floor where you had laid it down while taking off your clothes. You slip the dress over your head, it fit with the right amount of snugness over your body, your tits feel properly secured by the denseness of the fabric. The dress ended two inches below your butt, bending down would need to be strategic. It had elastic banding on the backside so thankfully you didn’t need his help tying or zipping up anything.

Luigi leans back in his seat, back up against the wall, observing every inch of you, not saying a word. His jeans still held the evidence of tenting, he’s at least half hard.

“Your ass looks fucking sexy… like two melons under a picnic blanket…” he grinds out, gawking at your rear end.

“Luigi, please. Don’t make me get like this now. We. Are. In. Public!", you plead with him. It would be really really hard to fuck or even suck him off in a semi public location, neither you or Luigi were the “silent lover” types.

He bites his lower lip slightly as he smiles, ���But what if I want to see you like this? It’s fun.”

Suddenly, standing up from the seat, he begins to make his way towards you, with purpose and with intent. You turn your gaze from the mirror and face him.

“Turn back around.” he says with an even, bass heavy tone.

You hastily turn around, immediately noting the command, the command given with the benediction of the lust of a man besotted with his girlfriend’s body.

 Grabbing the hanging fabric from the hem of the dress by your rear end, he yanks it upward, exposing the plump, pebbled skin of your ass. His large hand grazes your right cheek and gives it a firm squeeze.

You gasp, surprised by the blatant move but mostly his touch sent your pussy throbbing in anticipation. It never took much for him to have you wrapped around his finger, today he got lucky.

“What happened, Sugar? Got you feeling some type of way?”, he asks in mock innocence. Sugar was not a nickname he called you everyday. Sugar was a nickname reserved after he had successfully completed a game of Cat and Mouse, after he had teased plenty and knew he had you right where he wanted you.

Cut back to today and he’s making you gasp and squirm, massaging your ass like pizza dough, rubbing his boner against your skin so you can feel just how insane you make him. How feral and how primitive you make him become in the blink of an eye.

His right hand snakes around your legs over to the front hem of your dress, slipping beneath your cotton panties. Trailing over your vulva momentarily before slipping through your folds.

“Ahhh, Luigi!”, you moan as his hand finds your clit. Upon listening to your loud moan, his other hand immediately flies to your mouth, covering it, stifling anything further.

“Sssshhh sugar, can’t have anyone ruining our fun.”, his thumb touches your lip softly. In a wild moment of defiance, you capture his thumb in your mouth, grazing your teeth over his skin ever so slightly.

Luigi rubs slow clockwise and then counterclockwise circles over your already sensitive clit, he keeps his eyes trained on the mirror, occasionally laying kisses down on your neck. Sucking and trailing his nose over your thrumming carotid artery. He places a tender kiss on the noticeable palpitation on your neck, letting out a small chuckle before looking back at you through the reflection.

“You look incredible in this lighting, moaning from my touch. I’m the one getting you like this, I’m the only one that can make you feel this way”, he grounds out, rubbing you with more intensity. “Say it. Say I’m the only one who can make you feel this way.”

“You —” you extend a hand out, placing it on the surface of the mirror to support your weight, “are the only one who can make me feel this way”

You hum lightly to keep from moaning, the two of you extremely close to the mirror where your hot breath is forming condensation on the reflective surface.

“Baby… I’m close. Oh my god, oh..” pressing your lips together in a tight line, desperately attempting to curb any intrusive thoughts to just let loose and moan his name the way you would normally moan it, to scream the way you would normally scream.

“Yeah, that’s it. Yes, sugar…good girl.” he whispers, kissing behind your ear, his small stubble scratching your neck, making your heart lurch and even more pleasure build up at your core.

Your eyes are closed tightly, he can tell you’re close as the stimulation on your clit grows faster and more erratic.

“Cute little dress to match the cute little girl with the very cute little pussy. Just my luck that all three things happen to be mine."

Your boyfriend’s face is contorted in pure pleasure, eyebrows furrowed together, eyes full of both lust and love battling for dominance. His touch is gentle but strong, he is determined to have you come undone. His boner was raging in his jeans, feeling the stiffness on the crook of your ass. 

“I’m gonna buy this little dress for you and you’re gonna wear it on Monday when I give you the greatest fuck of your life, a little Memorial Day fuck if you will. Don't expect that dress to survive the night.” he demands, breath ragged.

“Luigi! I’m gonna come! God, Luigi!” you whispered, reaching behind you, gripping his hip tightly, finally coming apart in his hands.

“Yes, that’s it, Sugar. That’s it”, he says, continuing to touch your clit as you ride out your high, keeping the bliss contained within the confines of your intimate space but felt nonetheless.

Your orgasm feels spectacular, heart pounding and mind altering. Your legs go weak, almost giving out right on the spot. Anticipating a possible fall, Luigi reaches out, hooking his arm around your waist and pulls you towards himself. Your heartbeat reverberates ferociously, the steady pounding your ears. He breathes with you, in and out, placing a breath-like kiss to the nape of your neck.

“Man, you smell so good”

Riding out the last of your high you mumble, “Hmmm, do I?”

He spins you around, pressing you flush to his chest, “Every part of you gets me so addicted, everything. You make me want to do things I would never even dream of doing with someone else.” 

He presses a kiss to your forehead tenderly and takes out his phone to snap a mirror selfie of your embrace, “For the wallpaper.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes playfully. He always manages to inject some humor into situations like right now, you know exactly why he decided to take that picture. So he can always remember that had rubbed your pussy to orgasm mere moments before it was taken.

“So… what are we gonna do about your little ‘problem’ down there?”, you ask, referring to his still hard cock struggling beneath the restrictiveness of his jeans.

“Oh this?”, a deep blush grows on his face. Why is he blushing now when he’s spent the last fifteen minutes inducing an orgasm out of you with practically zero shame? He’s embarrassed now? “It’s fine, I’ll wait it out for ten minutes. It’s gonna go away, trust me. I’ve had this happen to me enough times, I just need to close my eyes and think of something very un-sexy.”

“When has this happened in the past?”, a mischievous glint in your eyes and a cheeky grin blossoming on your face.

Luigi tilts his head slightly to the right, “Y/N, don’t pretend like you wouldn’t know what might go on in my mind when I’m at work or in public and I can’t exactly do anything about it.”

“Ooooh, I see. So you’re like obsessed with me?”

He lightly squeezes the small of your back, “Yeah, I’m fucking obsessed. So. Hopelessly. Obsessed.”

A sharp knock at the door disturbs both of you, jolting you awake from the trance of existential bliss you and Luigi found yourselves in.

You walk over and open the door a fraction, “Yes?”

A female store associate, quite a bit taller than yourself, wears an uncertain expression on her face, “Hi, I’m sorry to interrupt you but I noticed you’ve been in here for quite some time. No rush, but I was just checking in to make sure everything was ok.”

“Goodness, I’m so sorry. We just got extremely distracted talking but I’ll be taking both of these dresses today. Just give us like… five more minutes. I’m so so sorry!”

“Alright, well when you’re ready, I’ll check you out up front”, the store associate politely smiles and backs out of the doorway.

Turning toward your boyfriend who was back on the seat, with his eyes closed and head in his hands, you say, “You have five minutes to get rid of your little issue before we go back out.”

“Here.” you toss him your AirPods from your purse. “Go listen to those geeky podcasts you like and turn around.”

Luigi chuckles breathily, putting an AirPod in each ear and closes his eyes, determined to be a compliant good boy until the next opportunity to switch things up and ravish you again comes along.

[a/n: hey there lovelies! hope you all liked this one! i’m especially proud of this one because recently i’ve been hopping from idea to idea and haven’t been able to stick to one project for more than 24 hours which is pretty frustrating when u want to put out content. I am making a tag list so if you’d like to be added for future works, do leave me a comment! 💋 @iinfinitelimits requested this from me so here u go :) ]

[culbi]

you know even if billford is what brought me into gravity falls, i should have known that fiddauthor is what i will stay for

I mean, yes billford is great and i love it and it's pure angst and pain (both physical and psychological) and manipulations and agony and everything but. but. fiddleauthor is everything i value in a good ship, its a)friends to lovers. they are great friend and they get each other and they are there for each other. b) BELIEVABLE. the homophobic environment, the desperation, the fiddleford's wedding with a woman he doesn't love, the escape to gravity falls to be with the one man who Understands you. AND ford being "different" in one way, nobody suspected he was "different" in another. and wait, not "different". a FREAK. neither of them can let anyone think they are anything more than friends

and c) (optional, really, but greatly appreciated) they are a scientist and an engineer. i just love science in romance, cant help it

but lets get back to how REALISTIC fiddauthor is. and it has variants. both of them in love and dating and keeping their relationship a secret because letting anyone know is dangerous? yes. neither of them realizing what those feelings are and just enjoyind spending time together with occasional lingering touch or look? or even staying late at night, whispering to no one but moon and a man in front of them how lucky they are to have each other? sure. what about one-sided romance? fidds getting the hots for stanford or ford realizing why he had never been interested in a girl in school - you can have anything. and don't get me started on how sorry i am for fiddleford's wife, because she probably genuinely loves him. she just wants her husband to be home with her and their son, and fiddleford just... can't. that life is not for him and hes too afraid to admit it to himself, let alone emma may.

but then, hooo, then comes little billy. billy who plays with their feelings, fiddlefords in particular, definitely knowing what keeps the man up at night. he teases, he teases so much, he wants to tear them both to shreds and keep ford to himself, all broken and alone. god, if there were any gentle kisses or forehead touches between the scientists before, bill does that he posseses fords body and he and fidds have sex. and its awful. and its good. fiddleford doesn't get to say no, and even if he did, he couldnt say no. not when its ford, or his voice or his hands or his lips. and the funniest part? ford wouldn't remember or KNOW about that. fiddleford of course feels awful, feels like he used his friend, abused his trust, ruined everything. bill, manipulative bitch he is, just messes with their relationship, with fidds mind and ford sense of reality. atta boy.

in conclusion: fiddauthor is beautiful, a piece of art, and billfiddlesford is an upgrade version, special pain edition.

[doloresdisparue]

Since I've had some clown in my mentions claiming Nabokovs intent was to present Dolores as equally culpable echoing the good old "but what about her TEEN SEDUCTRESS powers to CONTROL MEN" let's collect some of what Vladimir "Strong Opinions" Nabokov said about the book and Dolly in particular:

"Some simply haven’t read the book or don’t understand it. It is not obscene; it has none of the dirt of many so-called realistic modern novels. “Most critics have failed to stress the pathetic side,” said Mrs. Nabokov. “It’s really a tragic story. Here, in the hands of this maniac is this poor girl—.” “And a very ordinary girl—” Nabokov put in…." (What Hath Lolita Wrought? Ithaca Author Distressed by Some Reactions,” Elmira Telegram, Dec. 14, 1958. )

"In Lolita, who’s the most likable person for you? It’s Lolita. It’s with her that the good reader should become friends. American readers, generally, talk of her as an unbearable kid, but you pity her as you would pity any kid. There’s something touching in her." (“While Lolita Travels Around the World, the Entomologist Nabokov and the Agronomist Robbe-Grillet Exchange Pawns on the Literary Chessboard”), Arts (Paris), October 28–Nov. 3, 1959, 4.) 

"She came entirely out of my imagination. Critics, in general, find her odious; I pity her: an orphan, alone in life with a demanding forty-year-old. When I wrote about her last meeting with Humbert, I cried, like Flaubert at the death of Madame Bovary. “She cries every night, and the critics don’t hear her sobs,” said Mrs. Nabokov." (“Nabokov Without Lolita”, Nouvelles littéraires, Oct. 29, 1959, 1–2.)

"But she’s also a very touching character. Toward the end of the book, the reader and the author pity her, this poor child who has been sacrificed on the altar of motels. It’s very sad." (“The Good Mr. Nabokov: Lolita’s Father Forsakes Nymphets for the Sake of Pushkin and Robbe-Grillet”), L’Express, Nov. 5, 1959, 32–33.)

"Is Lolita amoral? On the contrary. It has a very moral moral: don’t harm children. Now, Humbert does [...] And Lolita, isn’t she a victim and not a little slattern….After all, haven’t I indicated the evil of all this, in giving Lolita a stillborn child?" (“Conversation, Vladimir Nabokov: He Likes Humor, Tennis and Proust. He Hates Communists, Sade, Freud”),  L’Express, Jan. 26, 1961. )

"How, then, do you explain the “Lolita cult”? How do you explain all these girls who move, act, dress, and talk like Lolita? I wouldn’t know. Perhaps it is a result of the way the popular press has distorted my poor Lo. It has come up with something that has absolutely nothing to do with the book or Lolita the character. Lolita is the story of a sad little girl in a very sad world. The “Lolita cult” is something completely different." (“Love Today: How the Author of Lolita Sees It”), L’Europeo, June 23, 1966, 28–33. )

"Humbert Humbert is a vain and cruel wretch who manages to appear “touching.” That epithet, in its true, tear-iridized sense, can only apply to my poor little girl." (Paris Review, The Art of Fiction No. 40, Issue 41, Summer-Fall 1967)

"Lolita isn’t a perverse young girl. She’s a poor child who has been debauched and whose senses never stir under the caresses of the foul Humbert Humbert, whom she asks once, “how long did [he] think we were going to live in stuffy cabins, doing filthy things together…? [...] It is equally interesting to dwell, as journalists say, on the problem of the inept degradation that the character of the nymphet Lolita, whom I invented in 1955, has undergone in the mind of the broad public. Not only has the perversity of this poor child been grotesquely exaggerated, but her physical appearance, her age, everything has been transformed by the illustrations in foreign publications. Girls of eighteen or more, sidewalk kittens, cheap models, or simple long-legged criminals, are baptized “nymphets” or “Lolitas” in news stories in magazines in Italy, France, Germany, etc.; and the covers of translations, Turkish or Arab, reach the height of ineptitude when they feature a young woman with opulent contours and a blond mane imagined by boobies who have never read my book. In reality Lolita is a little girl of twelve, whereas Humbert Humbert is a mature man, and it’s the abyss between his age and that of the little girl that produces the vacuum, the vertigo, the seduction of mortal danger. Secondly, it’s the imagination of the sad satyr that makes a magic creature of this little American schoolgirl, as banal and normal in her way as the poet manqué Humbert is in his. Outside the maniacal gaze of Humbert there is no nymphet. Lolita the nymphet exists only through the obsession that destroys Humbert. Here’s an essential aspect of a unique book that has been betrayed by a factitious popularity." (“Apostrophes: Bernard Pivot Meets Vladimir Nabokov”), live television interview, Antenne-2 (Paris), May 30, 1975.)

And let's close with my blog title:

"Lolita is an indictment of all the things it expresses. It is a pathetic book dealing with the plight of a child, a very ordinary little girl, caught up by a disgusting and cruel man….But of all my books, I like it the best. " (Author of Lolita Scoffs at Furore over His Novel,” Niagara Falls Gazette, Jan. 11, 1959, 10B.)

Thanks for coming to his TED Talk

[jikooklove9795]

Hey, there! First of all, I wanted to share just how much I enjoy reading all of your detailed posts and how nearly every time they're just SO spot! This being said, I was wondering about something just for funsies: What are some moments between JK and JM that people often use as "proof" but in your eyes, they aren't actually all that significant to you and are just innocent interactions? Personally, I love being realistic and objective when it comes to KM, so there definitely are some moments that just don't look all that proof-esque to me the way other momemts between them are undeniably hinting at a possible relationship. I was curious about your views on this matter, and thank you so much if you decide to indulge in my curiosity hehe!!

Hi Anon ����

Thanks a lot for your kind words. I really appreciate it and I'm so happy to know that you enjoy my posts.

But when it comes to your ask 😅 I should probably be the last person you send this to. I understand its natural to leave room for doubt since we are all assuming that Jikook are in a relationship. However, I'm a bit different, I guess, because I have no doubt in my mind when it comes to Jikook. For me, they're definitely in a long term committed relationship with each other.

I usually never try to link two people romantically unless they've made it public that they're dating. However, if I notice something undeniable in their behaviors or interactions when they're around each other, I might change my perspective. There's often a chemistry or electric spark thats impossible to hide no matter how hard they try.

And when it comes to Jimin and Jungkook there are countless behavior patterns over the years that solidify my belief. Even without considering the loud moments there are numerous subtle and consistent patterns in the way they interact with each other. A few of these are:

1) Their frequent one on one time both on and off camera

2) Their inside jokes, inside stories, their nicknames or terms of endearment for each other

3) Their familiarity with each other's habits which most of the time seem like new information to even the other members

4) Subtle physical affection like lingering touches, any excuse to hold hands, always gravitating towards each other

5) Body language (angling their body towards each other), giving the other undivided attention, using soft tones while speaking

6) Unconscious smiling where they smile a lot more in each other's presence for no particular reason

7) Blushing (cue Jimin on his birthday live 2021, Jimin during 3J Butter dance version, Jimin after blowing a kiss to Jungkook during MMA 2018 and many more)

8) The protective gestures, how they get defensive when it comes to the other

9) Their soft gazes for each other which are filled with affection and admiration

10) Their noticeable effort to support each other (Jikook at each other's practice stages), the concern and worry reflected in their eyes and voice tones when the other is having a grueling schedule, bad health etc.

All of these are indicators which reveal the depth of their relationship.

So, what I'm saying is that, what maybe proof of Jikook dating to some might not be convincing to others. This could be because those moments are subtler compared to the more obvious ones. However, that doesn't make those moments any less meaningful. When considering the bigger picture, these subtle moments, especially since they occur consistently make a significant difference in how we perceive Jikook's dynamic.

It shows that what they have is not mere sexual attraction but something they have nurtured through time and effort. That's why their love continues to thrive despite all the struggles they may have faced.

We are all unique and this uniqueness shapes the way we perceive things. Thats why there is a variety of opinions and perspectives when it comes to interpreting a moment or interaction.

And since Jikook are in love (in my opinion) almost all their interactions carry an underlying affection and fondness for each other. This is why to some these interactions might appear as evidence of them being together.

When it comes to them I always notice something special in the way they interact. They're so gentle, romantic, and fun that it makes me believe that love still exists and its possible to have healthy loving long term relationships even when you're super famous. They're truly a breath of fresh air.

So, yeah, thats my answer to your ask, Anon. Once again thank you so much for your kind words. They really put a smile on my face.

Have a nice day 👋🏻

[doctorloup]

Audiodrama Sunday!

It's been a while - (in my defence I have been making things..)

The Dead has now finished it's final arc of this season, and oh boy was there some amazing work. Giancarlo Herrera in particular is adept at making me cry. Such heartfelt dad energy. I most enjoyed the arcs in the UK but Silent Key was also pretty touching.

The Devil's Plaything continues to be adorably unhinged. I particularly enjoyed the erratic fae realm episode.

In my efforts to listen to the podcasts of everyone who's been in Woe.Begone I binged Hellgate City, which is good horrible fun and full of very clever Yiddish wordplay.

Before I say this, please understand that due to Backstory I am scared of asphyxiating in space and drowning, so should be forgiven for putting off listening to Fathom/Derelict for as long as I did, but I did and wow, that is some amazing cinematic sound design and super-tense narrative. Wow.

All the homies have been listening to Remnants and Not Quite Dead so I binged those as well. Not Quite Dead is very very sexy and has a very very sexy (pre-)French vampire who tells the MC when he is being stupid, which is great. It also had immunoserology. There should be more vampire stories with immunology. This pleases me as biologist. Remnants I am ashamed to say I didn't notice for a really long time it was actually one big narrative disguised as an anthology because I was too busy enjoying the grouchy North Welsh mystery being. I am prone to going along with the vibes and noticing the story later when someone points it out to me and going oooooh. You can still support the NQD crowdfund here!

Hi Nay is fascinating and complex and I am grateful for the window it has given me into the Filipino diaspora and a whole family of cryptids and monsters I was not familiar with. (Not me with Wiktionary open looking up the episode titles…) I went off and watched the Netflix adaptation of Trese on recommendation as well which was very cool.

Ars Paradoxica - Eventually I will catch up on all these "audiodramas classics" I say like any of them is more than 20 years old. I do see why Ars Paradoxica is a classic - engaging characters, the physics just realistic enough to be fun for my non-physicist brain and a delightful main character. It ended very neatly and satisfying too. I shall miss the Time Travelling Adventures of Dr Sally Grissom

In Strange Woods - I listened to this as part of the Podcast Bookclub, I wasn't able to make the live listens so just binged it. I am a noted Not Liker of Musicals but podcast musicals I've often found to be more enjoyable. This had some gorgeous songs. I liked the one about the main antagonist(?) best, because it was also summing up a complex and damaged character both in the words and music.

I have also been enjoying the little audio-zine Miss Shipton's Travelling Teashop about a tea witch who warmly listens to people's issues while gently flirting. You cannot currently get this on a podcatcher, like all zines it is passed from person to person. Go ask Oli Morris for it…

Have a good Sunday!

[tinydefector]

Hi hi hi can I please request shockwave (any ) using a holoform for the first time and he can’t stop kissing his human partner because he loves it so much..?

Holographic

Shockwave x human Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings; none

Shockwave masterlist

____________________

Human eyes linger on Shockwave as he works in reattaching his holomatter device, their head Is tilted as they watch him as he tinkers with the gadget. "whatcha you doing?" They finally ask. They knew Shockwave worked on multiple projects but they didn't know what this one was. Shockwave's optic narrows slightly as he continues his work, focused on the project at hand. He doesn't immediately respond to the human's question, his attention fully absorbed by the task as he re attached it to his arm.

"I am working on a holo-matter projection," Shockwave finally replies, his voice monotone. "I am testing its capabilities and potential applications, as so far I've only been successful with maintaining it for less then a standard human hour." The human takes a step closer, their curiosity evident in their expression, as they linger watching him with full interest. "Holo-matter, That sounds fascinating. What exactly does it do?"

Shockwave briefly looks up from his work, his optic meeting their gaze. "Holo-matter projection involves the creation of three-dimensional objects using a combination of light and matter manipulation. It has various potential applications, such as creating realistic simulations, enhancing visual displays, or even constructing physical structures."

Their eyes widen with excitement as they take in Shockwave's explanation. The move even closer watching him reinstall it into his arm. "So, it's like creating solid objects out of thin air, Can you show me?" Shockwave pauses, considering the request. With a few swift movements, Shockwave activates the holo-matter projection device. This particular application of holo-matter is a deeply personal and significant aspect of his work, one that he has rarely shared with anyone.

"Accessing holo-matter technology for personal use is restricted," Shockwave responds, "However, in the interest of scientific observation, I can provide a limited demonstration." With a series of swift movements, Shockwave activates the holo-matter projection device, and a shimmering, translucent figure materialises before them. 

Their eyes widen in awe as they take in the holoform, their hands come up to cup his face. The human avatar looked nothing like they had expected, they were expecting a mad scientist yet shockwave looked rather normal. One of His eyes was a warm ember and the other was sticking ice blue. He looked rather handsome yet nothing like the real shockwave.

"Holoform is a specialised application of holo-matter technology. It allows me to project a visually and audibly convincing representation of myself, enabling interactions with the physical world. Most times it is used for blending in on organic planets, the only flaw in the device is time, they are limited in what they withstand"

Their gaze lingers on the holoform, their fascination evident. "So, it's like a holographic avatar that can interact with the environment?" Shockwave nods, his optic brightening slightly. "Indeed, the holoform possesses limited physicality, allowing for basic interactions. However, it primarily serves as a means for me to navigate and interact with the physical world while maintaining my primary form in a secure location."

Shockwave's ‘eyes’ flickers with surprise as their hands cup his holoform's face. The unexpected touch momentarily breaks through his normally composed demeanour, causing a faint ripple of uncertainty within him. He observes their expression, their eyes filled with genuine shock and curiosity.

"Your holoform... it's not what I expected," the human murmurs, their voice tinged with awe. "You look... different. Handsome." He has never given much thought to his appearance, as aesthetics have always been secondary to his scientific pursuits. The observation of his holoform's attractiveness is a concept that is foreign to him.

"I assure you, my holoform's appearance is designed for functionality rather than aesthetics," Shockwave responds, his voice remaining monotone despite the subtle ripple of uncertainty within him. 

They cup his face this time tracing the outline of the eyebrows, lips and just admiring how different it is. The feeling for Shockwave is strange, delightful. "Well if it means anything I happen to rather like your holoform" they giggle pressing a soft peck to his nose. 

"You... find my holoform appealing?" he repeats, his voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty. The concept of someone finding his appearance appealing is entirely new to him. The touch leaves a faint imprint on his memory banks, triggering fragmented recollections from a time before, fractured memories flicker.

They continue smiling at him. "Anytime Shockwave, you should use this form more often, it's beautiful" they state, fingers continue to dance across his face. The notion of his holoform being beautiful is a foreign concept to him, but the sincerity in the human's voice leaves a lingering impact.

Before Shockwave can fully process their statement, the human's words are followed by a sudden and unexpected action. Shockwave's holoform leans in and presses a kiss upon their lips. As the kiss lingers, Shockwave's processor races, attempting to process the implications of this unexpected and illogical act of his own. 

After a brief, lingering moment, Shockwave slowly pulls away, his eyes flickering with a mix of emotions. "I... apologise, that was inappropriate," he says, his voice tinged with an uncharacteristic hesitance. "I... was testing a hypothesis."

The human's gaze meets his, their expression a mix of surprise and curiosity. "A hypothesis?" Shockwave's optic dims slightly as he gathers his thoughts, attempting to articulate his conflicting emotions. "I have been studying the nature of human emotions and their impact on decision-making. I sought to explore the effects of physical intimacy on the human psyche."

"You're more than welcome to kiss me again Shockwave" they laugh, eyes sparkling as they stand in his arms, they were tempted to tease him but decided against it. Shockwave's optic flickers, his processor turning gears as he thinks over their words and the genuine warmth in their laughter. 

With a subtle shift in his holoform's expression, Shockwave allows himself to lean in once again. His lips meet the human's in a soft yet lingering kiss, a moment of connection that speaks volumes of the emotions he struggles to fully comprehend, it was as if he had been hit with a train of emotions, many that to him were illogical.

As they stand in each other's embrace, the boundaries that once separated them begin to dissolve further. The scientific detachment that once defined Shockwave's existence gives way to a burgeoning desire for a deeper connection,he craves to kiss them more. In that moment, as their lips remain locked and their emotions mingle, Shockwave finds himself willingly forgetting the stance of logic.

They kiss him back eagerly, hand cupping his cheek as their lips move against his. Fingers toying with his hair. As their lips move against his, Shockwave finds himself instinctively responding, his holoform's arm encircling the human's waist. His own hand tentatively reaches up to rest against the back of their neck, his fingers gently tangling in their hair.

The touch and taste of the human consumes his senses, leaving Shockwave with a mixture of exhilaration and uncertainty. replaced by a growing desire to understand and embrace the complexities of these newfound emotions, to give what he could to them so willingly.

They nearly squeal as he pulls them closer, more giggles leave them as Shockwave continues kissing them. "Shockwave hahahah, having fun are you?" His optics flickers with a mix of surprise and amusement at the human's playful response. The sound of their laughter fills the air, leaving a lingering warmth within him. As they inquire about his enjoyment, a rare hint of a smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

"I... find this experience rather... enjoyable," he admits, his voice carrying a faint trace of amusement. "It is a deviation from my usual scientific pursuits, but I appreciate the connection and the emotions it elicits."

However, his momentary amusement is cut short as the holoform begins to fade away, leaving the human pouting in disappointment. Shockwave's features transition back to their usual stoic expression. "I apologise for the abrupt end," he says, his voice returning to its usual monotone. "The holoform has its limitations, and it cannot be sustained indefinitely."

The human's pout softens, their gaze meeting his with a mix of understanding and lingering affection. " could you lean down so I can give you another kiss?” The ask softly, Shockwave gives in almost instantly, letting them pepper small kisses along his helm. 

As Shockwave stands there he debates finally having the empurata reversed. It had never been something that had a logical reason to be done but now, it was only logical if he intended to have more kisses from them. along with finding a way to lengthen the holoforms time limit since they seemed to enjoy it.

"Shockwave you haven't short circuited on me have you?" They ask while looking up at his optics. A smile lingers on their lips. Shockwave's optic flickers as he processes the human's words, his thoughts momentarily interrupted by their playful inquiry. The smile that lingers on their lips tugs at something deep within him, a mixture of fondness and a newfound desire to explore the uncharted territories of emotion.

"I... apologise for the momentary interruption," he replies, his voice regaining its usual stoic tone. "There are matters that require my attention." As he gazes down at the human, his optic flickers with a mix of determination and a newfound vulnerability. The idea of reversing the empurata, of regaining the physical capacity to experience more intimate moments, becomes increasingly appealing. "However," he continues, his voice carrying a hint of hesitation, "I am enjoying this experience and would ask that we continue this arrangement.” They give him one last small kiss before finally pulling away. “I'd be more Than happy with that Shockwave” 

[villiun]

Im too lazy to give Harry a proper drawin but i have lore so… (TXM OC, TXM by @blackkatdraws2 @blackkatdraws :D)

So, Mixed Genres, I haven’t touched on that in a bit. So lets seeee,

1. If a Mixed Genres is to get sick, injured, etc, etc, it can be a lot more dangerous than you think. Let’s say Harry gets a cut on his finger and it gets infected, well, if he were to shift into say a 2D, shape guy (I’ll leave that up to imagination cuz I cant put my thought to words but like shapes with no conceivable human form, Harry would most likely use that form to hide) then the infection would spread entirely throughout the area where the finger had been smooshed into. So when he swaps back, half his body could be infected instead of just his finger. This only applies to forms that won’t look human when changed into, so Toon to Grim won’t have any affects on the body but anything abstract can drastically affect the body if the immune system/body is compromised.

2. Crime syndicates will always be on the lookout for stable and unstable Mixed Genres, this forces Mixed Genres to be in constant hiding (adapting to one genre and maintaining their emotions) as to not bring attention to themselves (Hence Harry usually being a toon but he also bends the "rules" A LOT for his stories 😭). However, unstable Mixed Genres will often give up and either be taken by crime syndicates or often they perish in alleyways (usually due to malnourishment, environmental factors, or other means).

3. Fiends will usually pry around alleys for the rare find of a Mixed Genres’s corpse as they are both powerful and could allow them to be in any environment or group of people they wish.

4. Due to the lack of information on Mixed Genres, healthcare is something Mixed Genres will avoid as they will only be treated as the genre they are presenting as (say there’s an illness only Grim genres can get but the Mixed Genre is in a Toon form then they will be treated for the closest Toon illness despite it being the totally incorrect diagnosis).

5. Mixed Genres will be prone to every illness in every genre. The typical vaccinations for said illnesses will also not work as they are only curated to the particular genre that has that illness. Basically, Mixed Genres can only protect themselves from illnesses that have a universal vaccination across all genres.

6. Mixed Genres are also hidden from the government’s eyes, being so rare, many members of the public and government officials deem it as an impossibility, something that could never ever happen.

7. The oldest Mixed Genre alive is Harry Letterman (65 yrs old) (before Harry, was his mentor, who I will touch on her lore later). Mixed Genres have a very poor lifespan, despite their strength and powers, the outside factors affects their longevity so greatly.

8. Being a Mixed Genre is something you are born with (occurrence of 1 in 350,000 births), however, the effects start at any time after 3 months of being born up until they are 20 years of age. The main effect is becoming unstable, it is only with guidance and training does someone go from unstable to stable.

9. Mixed Genres are compatible with all genres, the strength of their abilities won't be affected regardless of the area HOWEVER ☝️ the only way they can use them is if they incorporate the genre they are in currently with whatever abilties they wish to use, essentially they have to be in an unstable form to able to use them.

It also depends if the two or more genres a Mixed Genre wishes to use are compatible with eachother. So say, to use a Toon's ability in a Realistic Genre, Harry may take a Realistic form, and want to use a Toon's stretch, in that instance it wouldn't be optimal as a Realistic forms bones aren't supposed to stretch like a Toon's🧍‍♂️But say, Grim appearance and Toon strength, well that works quite well (I'll be making Harry do that BAHAH). It all depends on the ability and the physical form, as long as the abilties and body are compatible it'll work.

But environment/societal factors also need to be taken into account, will mixing their powers bring them attention in said Genre, most likelyyyy, yes. Yes it will. Therefore endangering themselves even more.

Not to mention the dangers of being in an unstable state itself. A stable Mixed Genre can go unstable but still maintain a normal physical form with the ability to use the mixed up powers but even the smallest amount of emotional instability can cause the body to revert back to a completely unstable form where it causes the Mixed Genre extreme amounts of pain.

Hence why the majority of Mixed Genres will never attempt to use/mix powers outside of the Genre they're currently presenting in.

[celestialprincesse]

Hello! Can you write Lieutenant Ghost x Colonel or Captain reader, please! And take your time with it! Thank you 💗💗

I really did take my time with getting around to this whoopsie🥴 Anyways !

John Price retired four months ago, and to the surprise of everyone in TF141, had been replaced externally, instead of by one of them. Ghost, in particular, had not been thrilled with that information. Until he met you.

You'd been one of Laswell's most trusted associates, worked alongside her for years in all different military and CIA branches. Truly the cream of the crop. Despite all your acclaim, the 141 had always been a tight knit family, held together by Captain John Price. What if you couldn't fill his shoes? Keep them running like a well oiled machine?

He'd be the first to admit that despite he and Price's similarity in age, his Captain had been the closest thing to a paternal figure he'd ever had, in his own weird, fucked up and emotionally distant way.

Admittedly, you're beautiful, funny and completely magnetic - but you're not Price. Something about how - how seemingly flawless you are seems to only make you less approachable to Simon, like he'll say one wrong thing to you and not be enough.

You feel the exact same way about him.

Realistically, you know he's your lieutenant, he was Price's too. He should've been the next choice for captain. All of them could've been better for the position than you. Gaz had shadowed Price for as long as he was in the 141. Johnny was the youngest ever to pass the SAS recruitment test. Ghost was noted as exceptionally physically proficient on his file, and had been in the military since he was legally able. Not to mention, Laswell had raved about him to you. You can see why now.

When he lurches at your back, seeing you safely to your office like some loyal guard dog, you can't help but to feel so immensely comforted, like he's a storm, in which you've somehow found yourself in the eye, protected fro, the world outside. And Ghost, loyal as he is, will always protect his team.

The others had taken to you so well, instinctively protective towards the only woman on their team, although you've shown them time and time again that you can hold your own. Simon, however, is on a different level entirely. It's stayed the same since day one. Something in him calls to something in you, and vice versa, and where you go, he goes.

At first, you had thought maybe he was trying to suck up to you, earn your favour, but when he'd started getting in your space, memorising your coffee order and helping you with everything you could imagine, you'd quickly realised that your lieutenant, the big, brave Simon 'ghost' Riley, has a big fat crush on you.

The feeling is mutual.

Obviously, you've got to be careful with the way you go about showing it, especially in a professional environment where fraternisation is frowned upon. It's clear to the both of you though, the pining isn't one sided.

Maybe when you're fully comfortable in your position as captain, well settled into the team, and sure that no one will think that to only way you achieved your position was by blowing someone higher up, maybe then you'll act on your feelings. God forbid you want to. One thing you've fortunately learned in your months working with Ghost, however, is that he's a patient man. He's willing to wait, to let you get comfortable.

Good thing you're patient too.

But until then, you'll settle for the stolen glances with soft eyes, or the way he's always checking on you when you're in the field together. You'll savour the gentle hands patching you up, or the moments between sparring sessions when you sit there sweaty beside one another, just breathing, touching, being.

Pining!! Mutually!! fuck yeah!! They can't have each other!! (yet)😛

still in love though

just subtly

[waterdeepthroat]

playing Veilguard, and while it’s not perfect, it’s not as bad as most of the critics say— i’d give it a solid 6.5/10 so far.

what i liked:

- character creation is great for the most part— some very good hair options with realistic physics, tattoos and scarring seems pretty good as well, and the complexion options are overall pretty varied.

- emphasis on companion questlines— early on in the game (i’m maybe 10-12 hours in at this point) there’s a lot of emphasis on companions, but it doesn’t feel forced— it feels like a natural progression of the main story and it seems to tie in well with the main themes of the game. i can understand why BioWare changed the name from Dreadwolf to Veilguard.

- landscapes/atmosphere— THE ATMOSPHERE. god, when it comes to the aesthetics of the different maps in this game, the art style works incredibly well. the game is visually stunning.

- voice pitch— not a major thing, but i thought it was a nice touch. it makes sense for my rook to have a deeper voice while still feminine, so i thought this worked quite well.

- ghilan’nain’s design is incredible.

- combat is fast-paced and engaging, and while a lot is going on at once i don’t think i ever get left behind in terms of mechanics or new abilities

criticisms:

- why are there so many american VAs?? the dalish in particular seem to suffer from this problem. strife i can understand, as iirc he joined the dalish, but bellara? it breaks immersion for me when the dalish have (with the exception of origins) had welsh and irish accents typically.

- bellara as a character frustrates me. i might do another post about her later, but her mannerisms, her voice, and her class/specialisation irk me.

- no eye or lip shape customisation in the CC.

- WHY NO DA KEEP?? it’s so fucking frustrating that it seems like the devs only care about past choices in DAI if they relate to solavellan. while i did romance solas on my first DAI playthrough, i don’t think it should be the canon/default romance, nor is it even my favourite romance in the game.

- the art style for characters isn’t my favourite, but i don’t think it’s a huge deal. i’ll probably get used to it though.

- what i do genuinely hate is the art style for the UI (ex: journal, skill tree, map, etc.). DA2 and DAI i think do this better, DAI in particular is stylised in such a beautiful way.

- might get some flak for this, but i do think a lot of the gender options are shoehorned, but only in terms of wording. the word “trans”, at least for me, really breaks immersion in the game— i think they should’ve gone the route of the forgotten realms and had human/elven words for trans, like they did in DAI with aqun-athlok.

- i don’t think taash’s questline was handled the best, though i haven’t played through it myself yet (only watched videos on youtube), so take what i say with a grain of salt.

- the skill trees rely on far too many passives, meaning a lot of levels feel pretty dead/barren

[impishjesters]

Pomni x Reader who doesn't wanna leave

warning(s): implied panic/anxiety attacks, implied Reader's life prior to the Circus might've not been so great A/N: I'm not really good at words of comfort, so hopefully this isn't too bad... request: I have a request for actually pomni instead of jax- a reader x pomni sfw thing where the reader doesnt actually wanna leave the place but understands why pomni wants to leave so they just try to help her with anything and is very comforting to her. (basically a extremely sweet and calm reader with a nervous wreck pomni)

It’s easy to see why one would freak out about being permanently trapped in a digital hellscape in a body that doesn’t require sleep or food.

You feel for Pomni, you really do, but unlike her, you enjoy living here. There’s little to worry about compared to the struggles of living in the real world, the life you had before this was nothing but stress and exhaustion.

Though it’s easy to see why that might be the issue for some people, sure you lose out on all the things the real world can give you, but for every pro, there’s a con. Something you can accept, but not Pomni.

She’s such a sweet girl when she’s not on the verge of a panic attack, even if you don’t want to leave you continue to reassure her that there has to be an exit. “Can’t have an entrance without an exit.”

The best you can do is reassure her verbally and try to bring some sense of normalcy to the place. Just last week the two of you went for a walk outside the tent and did some nature gazing, it’s a little trippy how realistic the ambiance was. Though it seemed to do just the trick to help Pomni, the fake birds flew around and chirped, accompanied by the screams of obnoxious bugs.

Then there was just a few days ago when the two of you sat and listened to music while having a fake little tea date. The tea set was real—or as real as anything in this place could be—similar to a child’s play set it was just decoration as the two of you chatted over empty cups of tea.

It always seemed like talking and acting like everything was normal was a big help to her, you know if you get past the fact that the person across from you doesn’t look remotely normal.

Today, however, Pomni had been a wreck all day—the nature walk and tea time offers weren’t enough to distract her. Instead, you settled down nearby careful not to touch her, and simply took it one step at a time. Pomni disliked physical touch so you made do with talking her through it, through what was currently on her mind all while making sure to steer the mindset from sketchy abstraction territory.

“How are you so okay with this?” She looked over her knees in your general direction, not really looking at you or anything in particular.

“I mean to say I’m okay is an understatement. But it’s an improvement in some departments compared to my life before… I understand not everyone can see it that way though. But for me, I’m pretty okay with the whole situation.”

Nobody had really opened up about their lives prior, whether they could remember or not it just never came up. It felt almost taboo for some reason.

“Like I told you before, every entrance has an exit. And if I find one, you’ll be the first person I tell.”

It’s not an entire lie, you would tell her if you actually found one, but not every entrance had an exit. In some cases, the only “exit” so to speak would be death, but saying that would only make the situation worse.

“H-how do you know that though? Nobody’s seen one except for…well Kaufmo and me..” Pomni bit her lip, squeezing her legs tighter. “And i-it wasn’t even a real exist… Caine said—”

“Sweetie Caine’s about as smart as Jax is nice.” That gets a hesitant little giggle out of her, it’s rude but true. “There’s an exit I know it, that said there’s a chance Caine doesn’t know where it is or how to access it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”

“I…I guess you are right…”

Pomni relaxes the death grip on her legs, letting them dangle off the couch. She’s still stuck in her head but it’s progress, and you are patient to work with her.

“Wanna go down to the kitchen and make something?”

Her head snaps in your direction so fast you swear she’d get whiplash if she could. “What?”

“You heard me.” You give her a weak shrug and lean on the armrest of your chair. “We can’t eat but that doesn’t mean we can’t cook—it’s not the same but we can still do it, sorta.”

Her expression is pure confusion, did she not know you could still cook or that there was a kitchen? Have those idiots shown her nothing??

“Mhm, maybe we could bake something for everyone. Again, can’t eat it but it’s the thought that counts yeah? I’m sure the others would enjoy that, we can all sit down with a slice and maybe have a nice chat.”

That sounded nice, domestic, and more importantly, normal. She can’t remember the last time she cooked or baked something, and while it would suck to not be able to eat it, enjoying the company of the others would be nice. Well, mostly nice.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

The two of you stood and you gave her a warm smile before gesturing her to follow. Before you made it to the door she called your name, giving a weak smile as she approached. “Thank you.”

“Any time Pompom.”

[splashstar01]

Unofficial "Gayness Levels" of my 7 TOP TIER fave-of-all-time slash couples

(that I’m doing purely to pass the time whilst sick with covid, don't be mad at ratings, I adore them all & tried to be as non-biased as possible, looking purely at canon moments!! xD)

I TRIED NOT TO SPOIL ANYTHING. PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL.

Warning: This post is anti-Hinny & anti-Arwen. If that triggers you, don't read. In actuality, I don't hate Ginny or Gwen. Ginny got better in HPCC after she was no longer an annoying teenage girl, and Gwen is my fave girl! But I ship her with Lancelot, not Arthur! ;~;

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •••• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

I will give spoiler warnings, as there are ships where the spoiling just had to happen in order to fully rank them. :| I will give ample spoiler alerts!

I worked diligently for hours each day since coming down with covid (after the 2nd day, because before then I was too weak to move). 

I tried making sure each ship had a proper fighting chance. My ships are like my children lol. X3 I went into this working from the top down, with assuming the best of them and trying to find evidence for why they were 5 stars in each category!! I wanted all my ships to get 5 stars across the board. But I also had to be partial/realistic, supporting the 5 stars with evidence, or lack thereof, in some cases.

Ships on the list (in no particular order. No, really, I used a randomizer to pick order lmao):

Renga

Drarry

Hannigram

Destiel

Asheiji

Merthur

Scorbus

Anime: Sk8 the Infinity--Renga (Reki & Langa)

Pros:

Deep Emotional Connection 

Affectionate 

Strong Chemistry

Semi-Canon Status

“During his beef against Shadow (a rival) in episode 1, his skating when he’s just coolly, narrowly avoiding rocks in that long 18-second cut, and his final jump, I fell in love with him just as Reki did when he saw Snow (Langa's skating name)!” ~Utsumi (creator)

Cons:

Lack of Explicit Romance: While the emotional and psychological depth of their relationship is clear, there’s no explicit romantic resolution in the canon yet (we only just got done with season 1). Fans are left with a lot of subtext, which, while meaningful, can be frustrating for those seeking concrete confirmation of their relationship beyond friendship.

One-Sided Vulnerability at Times: While Langa expresses his admiration and need for Reki in more overt ways, Reki tends to hide his struggles and insecurities, which at times creates emotional distance. Their dynamic leans more towards admiration and personal growth than deep codependence.

Ranking Renga's Gayness:

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★★ 

Their frequent proximity and shared physical activities, like skateboarding and emotional hugs, show a lot of closeness. Their body language often communicates a sense of care. Skating together in such intimate, trust-filled moments adds a subtle layer of physical intimacy. While there aren’t overt romantic physical gestures, their body language and frequent proximity (like skating together and often emotional literal flying-bodies-on-the-ground hugs) show a lot of closeness. Their skateboarding together, sharing intimate experiences like teaching and encouraging one another, could be interpreted as a form of touch. But also once they shared a skateboard ;) Like, how gay is that? rofl xD

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ Their emotional connection is the heart of their relationship. They provide each other with significant emotional support, and the anime highlights moments of vulnerability, particularly as Reki works through feelings of inadequacy while Langa seeks connection. Langa, a former snowboarder, relies on Reki to rediscover his love for -boarding (now skateboarding) after moving from Canada, while Reki finds confidence in Langa’s presence and validation in their friendship. Langa’s conversation with his mom, where he blushes while discussing his crush on Reki, further highlights the depth of their emotional bond. Reki and Langa openly support and encourage each other, creating a strong foundation for emotional intimacy. They have a close, supportive friendship with many moments of emotional vulnerability. Their emotional bond is built on a strong foundation of deep mutual care and admiration.

Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★☆ There are elements of obsession, especially on Langa’s side, as he becomes fixated on skating with Reki and their shared bond. Their relationship also affects their self-worth and happiness, which speaks to a subtle codependence. Langa cannot perform well without Reki, who is his main reason for skating. When they drift apart, their emotional turmoil is palpable, especially for Reki, who struggles with feelings of inadequacy. They lean on each other for emotional support and personal growth, though for Reki it doesn't cross into full-blown obsession or unhealthy codependency. Because the obsession/codependence is a little bit 1-sided, they get 4 stars instead of 5. 

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★

Reki sacrifices his time and energy to help Langa become a better skater, even when it impacts his own self-confidence. Meanwhile, Langa shows his deep affection by trying to bring Reki back into the fold after they drift apart. Both make sacrifices to maintain their friendship and emotional bond, though these are more emotional than life-threatening. Reki sacrifices his confidence and emotional security for Langa's sake, as he struggles with feelings of inferiority. Langa also makes emotional sacrifices by never flaunting how much better of a skater he is. Langa also takes Reki’s jealousy without retaliation or anger, only deep sadness. They each compromise and grow from their relationship, making personal sacrifices for the sake of their bond. While their sacrifices are more emotional than physical, they’re still significant.

During this fight, it was even raining. What a het trope, lol. Fighting in the rain... XD This was completely intentional.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ Their chemistry is undeniable, with a mix of playful banter, deep emotional support, and moments of jealousy and longing. Whether skating together or simply interacting, their dynamic is magnetic, and their friendship feels full of unspoken tension and affection. The chemistry between Reki and Langa is electric, with strong emotional tension and moments of clear admiration. Their relationship balances moments of fun and lightheartedness with deep emotional conflict and resolution, making their connection dynamic and impactful. The fact that fans—and even the creator—acknowledge Reki’s love-at-first-sight moment highlights the romantic potential. The dynamic between them is filled with tension and warmth, as they balance moments of fun, teasing, and heartfelt connection. Their bond drives much of the emotional intensity in the series, with their skateboarding journey acting as a metaphor for their relationship. (The show is mostly about their relationship, with skateboarding as a side/distraction lol)

How Canon?: ★★★★☆ 4.5 Renga falls into the semi-canon category, with the creator’s commentary and Langa’s blushing reaction to his mom asking about his feelings for Reki. The romantic subtext is strong, and there’s creator intent to show Reki and Langa’s relationship in a romantic light. The creator openly discussed Reki’s admiration for Langa from the start. However, despite these clear hints and the romantic subtext, there’s no explicit confirmation of their relationship on-screen, keeping it from being fully canon for now. Nonetheless, the anime provides more than enough material to consider them as a semi-canon romantic pairing.

During episode 8, while Langa's mom was asking him about why he seemed so down in the dumps, his mom related his story to an experience she once had, presumably about his dad. Because of that, she tells him it would be better if he was honest about his feelings. She asks him to confirm, (in both English and Japanese dubs), "You like this person, don't you?" Langa replies with a shocked yet toned down blush, and eventually Utsumi (the creator) confirmed he does romantically like "this person" (Reki). During that same episode, in the original Japanese dub, his mom says it as "Sukina ndesyo?" which translates to what the English sub or dub said. The word "Suki" In Japanese means "like", however, in contexts like this, it translates to "romantic love."

Final Summary:

Touchy-Feely Levels: 5/5  ★★★★★

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★

Obsession/Codependence: 4/5 ★★★★☆

Sacrifices: 5/5  ★★★★★

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★

How Canon?: 4.5/5 ★★★★☆

Total: 4.75 out of 5 stars

2. Series: Harry Potter--Book!Drarry (Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter)

Both original Harry Potter book artwork by Jim Kay.

Before reading the books, I thought Drarry was a total crack ship & I didn't like movie!Draco. I thought he was a simple bully. I read the books for Snape x Lily. But Snily ship sunk faster than the Titanic, and in its place was this glorious OTHER! Drarry actually has a ton of textual evidence/support & I couldn't deny the gay anymore lool.

Pros:

Obsession & Codependence

Chemistry

Sacrifices

Tons of Intimate Moments (in the official last installment, the play HPCC--Harry Potter & The Cursed Child (which focuses on Harry & Draco's sons Scorbus (who is also on this list). Most of the fandom hates HPCC, but it's the book with one of the best drarry so I'll gladly take it lol.)

JKR (the TERF) randomly hates Draco, & she hates the ship. BUT: I compiled the Drarry Bible, a 98k word doc of all the Drarry scenes/how they are accidental literal soulmates! Read first if you're mad about smthn I said (even if you've read the series—many Drarry shippers have been stunned by its contents). I have text proof!

Cons:

Never becomes canon—it's mostly fan interpretation of the canon text where JKR accidentally writes them out as utterly in love. I was never looking for the gay with Drarry. I disliked Draco, I was there for the Snily. Why would I want Harry with his bully? The gay ran me over.

Very little physical intimacy, though the emotional intensity is powerful and the times they do have physical intimacy are very profound.

Obsession & Codependence:

"Harry, however, had never been less interested in Quidditch; he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy." ~Harry Potter & the Half-blood Prince

Rating: 5/5

Obsession levels are extremely high for both characters. Draco spends a good chunk of the series fixated on Harry, while Harry reciprocates by fixating on Draco’s every move (even when he's not being suspicious, which is most of the time). The fact that they stare at each other, know each other’s habits, and even unintentionally hurt themselves due to this obsession solidifies this. Codependence emerges in how much they seem to thrive on this rivalry and attention from each other. Their mutual fixation and obsession with each other feel incredibly intense, with shades of romantic tension, especially given how the entire school, even staff, pick up on it. Their obsession feels very queer-coded, even if not canonically romantic.  Draco spends five out of seven books completely fixated on Harry (even in books where he's not like The Half-blood Prince & Deathly Hallows, there's still plenty of gay)! And Harry is obsessed with Draco in return.

From the Drarry Bible:

They are constantly staring at each other for no good reason (like all the way across the Great Hall during lunches). They shout at each other all the way across the Great Hall too, making their obsession obvious for the whole school (because the whole school has same lunch period). They are literal walking encyclopedias of the other. Draco talks about Harry constantly to anyone who would listen (Harry is his favorite topic...), and thus the whole school knows about his big gay crush on Harry, including the staff, his parents (especially his father who told him to STFU about Harry since he was talking about Harry literally all summer lmao), and even Voldemort was highly suspicious in the last book, to Draco's father's horror. Harry is equally obsessed over Draco, so much so that he gets hospitalized because he’s thinking about Draco too much during a Quidditch match and gets hit. Also, the staff, Draco’s mother, and Ron’s dad knows about Harry’s crush on Draco (Ron’s dad is amused by it)… Draco is so obsessed over Harry that he makes ‘Potter stinks’ badges and charms enough for all 3 Houses and gives them out for FREE! (He's his own personal Harry Potter fanclub..) And Harry, despite pretending to be furious, secretly kept one! (He brought it home and kept it under the bed with the rest of his special souvenirs from school lolololol I can't even with this!) Their last encounter before that school year was out (his only time to be able to have taken a Potter Stinks badge) was even another argument with Draco on the train.. Lmaao! And all along, little did Draco know, Harry had a badge tucked away on his person. And brought it home with him. And it still works even years later because that’s how much care Draco put into making them (who does this??) And there’s no way you would put all that effort into doing it for someone you’re not totally crushing on but talk about constantly and watch all the time and use every excuse in the book to try to talk to.  Like one year he even faked an arm injury and then later admitted to Harry he was just trying to get Harry to help him out in their class. So he kept complaining until Snape finally gave him Harry as a lab partner. XD This gay, I swear.

2. Chemistry:

Rating: 5/5

The enemies-to-something dynamic creates a palpable push-pull tension. Draco’s teasing and Harry’s confused reactions lead to charged moments, and their chemistry seems more alive than with other characters. The emotional and physical energy between them is notable and strong. Draco teases Harry constantly because he's upset Harry rejected his friendship (this was confirmed by Draco himself in his confession to Harry in HPCC). Harry confusing anger for arousal (he'll be "mad" but stares constantly, never agree with Ron when Ron makes fun of Draco's looks or wishes ill on him, & immediately perks up at any mention of Draco's name bc Draco is also secretly his fave topic lol). Draco’s teasing, and their back-and-forth feels emotionally charged and reads like many classic queer-coded rivalries.  The push-pull, enemies-to-something dynamic is strong. Draco and Harry have a charged energy whenever they’re around each other. As Draco smirks-winks at him, Harry sometimes acts the part of the 'blushing maiden' with Ron to defend him. His face flushes, and he gets really quiet sometimes. One time Harry was standing towards the front of the school and all the other kids were standing too, but Harry was wondering where Draco was, so he turned his head and looked for him as Dumbledore was speaking, and Draco was sitting instead of standing, and staring straight ahead. So Draco obviously sees Harry just try to find him and Harry just turns back to the front after finding Draco (which totally gave himself away). That's like, so fucking embarrassing. JKR said Ginny was meant to represent his dead mother Lily, which is why like Lily, Ginny has flaming red hair. (Kinda creepy to make the wife physically look like the mom, but okay.) Not to mention, with Ginny's family, which is Ron's family since Ginny is Ron's little sister, the family basically adopted Harry in as their own, making them Harry's first 'real' family. This suggests that his connection with Ginny is more about emotional security than romantic passion, which explains why he's never truly as obsessed with her as with Draco. Their het romance was so sudden and lacking in passion that some fans theorize Ginny used a love potion. (Literally, Harry had a bigger girl crush on Cho than he ever did Ginny.) Harry & Draco’s obsession with each other is love-potion extreme all throughout the series (the way Harry would be with Draco would almost feel like the way Ron would describe his feelings this one time Ron accidentally took a love potion). In HPCC, they are friends and without even being there for their intimate 1v1 talks, they must be acting so friendly because Ron points out that they’re so “chummy-chummy” now! And their Quidditch matches became like their impromptu dates that they both looked forward to. (Harry was hospitalized bc Draco was skipping his matches that year, so during a match with Hufflepuff, he was thinking about where Draco could be and that's when he was hit. (Everything I say are book passages--feel free to search them up in the Drarry Bible above.)

3. Sacrifices:

Rating: 5/5

Both make significant sacrifices for each other, risking not just their lives but the well-being of loved ones. Draco’s risking the lives of himself and his family’s for Harry is particularly telling given JKR confirmed that nothing is more important to him than family (except Pottah I guess *snicker*)! While Harry repeatedly saves Draco, even risking the lives of himself and his two besties who are like his own family (of course Harry is an orphan and has no living blood relatives except the Dursleys, so the few found family he has are everything to him…..) During the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco saves his life from his two friends, screaming “DON’T KILL HIM! DON’T KILL HIM!” (Draco rarely ever screams) and of course when Draco needs rescuing immediately after, Harry is the first one there!! Even as Ron screams that if they die, he’ll kill Harry lol. So Harry risks the lives of his two best friends to fly back in and rescue his big gay crush. He rescues Draco while his friends get Goyle. Harry honestly didn’t give a shit about Draco's friends, he was going straight for Draco. If he’d really cared about rescuing the one in most need, he would’ve gone for Goyle first who was in much worse shape….. Or Crabbe. Crabbe ended up dying in the fire. 😓

Though this doesn’t cement a romantic relationship, the emotional investment is high. Sacrificing one’s life or risking safety of other loved ones for each other shows deep emotional ties. The risk-taking for each other’s sake has undertones of devotion that could easily be read as a more-than-platonic connection. Harry's repeated acts of saving Draco’s life, even putting his best friends at risk, and Draco's willingness to risk his family's safety for Harry, show a profound level of sacrifice. The fact that both characters are willing to risk everything for each other, including their lives and the well-being of loved ones, underscores the magnitude of their sacrifices and devotion. Draco’s intense vulnerability in HPCC further emphasizes the depth of their emotional connection. Draco shows an intense vulnerability in the final book, opening the door for an emotional connection for HPCC. Unlike the movies, he never goes to Voldemort’s side in the end. He chooses Harry’s side, even though Harry’s side isn’t his parent’s side. He does this because he soon realized in book 6 that he can’t stomach violence (unlike James Potter—Harry’s violent bully of a father who was planning the murder of a fellow student but backed out last minute), but also I’m sure Harry being over on that side pushed him over the edge.  Even during the duel from HPCC, where Draco initiated it as he was trying to get Harry to allow their gay sons to be together, Draco didn’t really want to hurt Harry. His attack spells were mild, much less lethal than his spells during school in their duels (like, Harry used two spells: tickle & forced dancing... while Draco used spells that shoved Harry and etc etc.. it was all very mid).

4. Emotional Intimacy:

Rating: 5/5

So Draco always wants to use every excuse to talk to Harry. That's why every single year on the train (except the 6th book, there was no 7th year since Harry went on the run that year), Draco would go meet up with Harry to talk to him before school starts probably because he missed him over the summer. awwwww LOL. And in the year Draco didn't go to him, Harry put on an invisibility cloak and went to Draco, because Draco, a 16 yo kid (mind you, in HP, 17 is legal adult age), went shopping without his mother! And this going shopping alone made Harry so suspicious of Draco and Harry's two friends were with him the whole time, but neither of them thought it was that suspicious and they literally get so sick of Harry talking about Draco non-stop that year that they tune him out. Harry proceeds to use a magical map to track all of Draco's movements that year, going as far as ducking into bathroom stalls to check where Draco is. LMAO! These boys will be the end of me... -,-; HPCC adds fuel with their intimate conversations where Draco confesses his true feelings about their school rivalry—that he just wanted to be besties with Harry & was jealous of Ron & Hermione because they got to be Harry’s friends while he had to force his way into Harry’s life through mean teasing just to be able to talk to him! Their interactions go far beyond what we see in Harry’s interactions with many other characters in the play, and now that they’re adults and civil, the depth of their bond escalated like wildfire, which leaves the audience wondering how much closer they would get after the play when they’re now actual friends! Considering their innate obsession with one another and need to be close….. And the fact that Harry and Draco are both pretty queer-coded gay men.... (The books are told from 1st POV so we know exactly what Harry was feeling and who he kept staring at, and he was definitely never staring at Ginny....)

Emotional intimacy is often a hallmark of romantic or queer connections. The vulnerability Draco shows and the fact that he was so obsessed with becoming friends with Harry shows a deeper connection than rivalry. In HPCC, Draco admitted to Harry that he was never jealous of his fame, just his friends. Naturally, Ron got to be friends with Harry, so that's why Draco had such a hatred for him.

Harry knows Draco better than anyone else, even though Draco is really good at hiding his feelings with occlumency (the magic of closing one's mind against mind reading, which requires a strong ability to hide feelings). Harry is the only one who can still see past it despite the fact that they’re not even friends. Likewise, Draco knows Harry really well and is the only one to know Harry well enough that he knew Harry wouldn’t attack those students in Chamber of Secrets during a time when most of the school suspected Harry. He also knew that Harry wasn’t the heir of Slytherin despite most of the wizarding world, including his dad who he idolizes, thinking Harry must’ve been some dark wizard in order to blast Voldemort away as a baby. 

In HPCC, Draco was the one who was most worried for Harry when Harry volunteered to go confront Voldemort (I cannot make this up, he was literally panicking like how he does in fanfics.... llol like aww so sweet), and Harry was the one Draco was most worried about, despite the fact that Harry was the head of the DMLE (Department of Magical Law Enforcement—Head Auror) AND the only one to have repeatedly gone face to face with Voldemort & lived of all the people there (Ron, Harry, Hermione, Draco, and their gay 14 year old sons). 

Harry worries endlessly about Draco when he knows Draco is in a tight spot. They are soulmates, one half of the same whole. They are the only two who really know what the other went through in regards to Voldemort. Harry saved Draco in more ways than one. In HPCC, they had far more special moments with each other than with literally anyone else in the play, far more than Harry with his wife (Draco’s wife died of illness at the beginning of the play). 

In the books, Harry was never really attracted to any of the girls. His biggest girl crush was Cho (crush on Ginny/wife doesn’t even come close so the fandom never talks about her because there’s barely any book quotes to bounce off of!), but even that crush paled in comparison to his obsession over Draco. Even though Cho's table was closer to his, he'd never look at her during lunches... He'd look right over her to look at Draco.................. YUP. This is why Drarry is such a huge ship. JKR was not subtle.... yet she claims Drarry is all in our heads! In Harry's internal monologue, he was mostly checking out other guys, but mostly Draco. Literally all the guys he thought were handsome had Dracos’s eye color! 🤔 Sus much? LMAO. There was no guy he found attractive that did NOT have Draco’s eye color.

In HPCC, Draco was so quick to forgive Harry (he was mad enough that he went to Harry's house and started fighting him and they fucked up the kitchen by throwing chairs etc.. & generally reverting back to their schoolboy days!!! lmao), even though Harry never apologized! They have such soft spots for one another, and Harry is always just as fast to forgive, esp in school. v_v

The depth of their connection is highlighted by their intimate conversations in HPCC, and in all the books, their deep understanding, and concern for each other. Their interactions go beyond typical rivalry, displaying vulnerability, trust, and a soulmate-like bond. The way they save and forgive each other, along with their unique understanding of one another’s experiences w Voldemort. Everything thus far suggests an extraordinary level of emotional intimacy that Harry doesn't even have with Ron. Ron and Harry are like, BFFs, but Draco is like the boyfriend/lover. Different types of closeness. They have a profound, unspoken connection where they are drawn to each other like moths to a flame, coupled with the significant moments shared between them.

In the main books, Harry went to fight Voldemort with Draco’s stolen wand that he didn’t officially win in a duel. Wands are a wizard’s heart & soul. And also Draco’s wand was unicorn-core, meaning it’s extremely loyal. Harry shouldn't have been able to get it to work, but Draco’s wand was friendly towards Harry, unlike Draco’s maniacal aunt Bellatrix’s wand. So, because Draco’s wand, along with Harry, defeated Voldemort, Harry was basically fighting Voldemort with Draco’s heart and soul. Aawweeeee. Gayeest battle lmao, and just like that, DRARRY saved the day/world! The wand was only friendly with Harry because it could sense that Draco truly cared for Harry…. 😏 In HPCC, Harry and Draco talk as friends for the first time, and Draco stops calling him 'Potter,' while never once using Ron's first name lol. Draco is also the only one able to get through to Harry on a topic that not even Ginny or McGonagall could. They bond and their moments together are so electric, unlike any other relationship in the play aside from their gay sons.

5. Touchy-Feely:

Rating: 2.5/5

There’s little physical touch beyond duels and Quidditch, where Draco’s physical attacks seem to have an undertone of excitement (like literally in HPCC.. where Harry used a tickle spell on Draco and also a dancing spell....LMAO XD like.. bruh... just ask him for dance lmao). Physical intimacy is minimal but emotionally charged. The touchiness is more indirect, stemming from aggressive physicality, but in the context of their obsession, it seems like Draco gets some satisfaction from the physical encounters. When Harry rescued Draco from the fiendfyre, Draco was “holding Harry so tightly it hurt” and shouting in his ear. ;) lmaoooo. How.... intimate.

While physical touch is minimal, the moments that do occur are emotionally charged and hold significance, particularly in the context of their interactions. Draco would always try to hit him during their Quidditch matches because he seemed to get off on any sort of touch with Harry. The touch is more about tension, aggression, and heightened emotion rather than tenderness, but it still conveys a sense of intimacy, especially in moments like the fiendfyre rescue.

6. How canon? 

Rating: 2/5

While Drarry is not canonically confirmed as a romantic relationship, the strong obsession, chemistry, and emotional intimacy make it a compelling interpretation for many. Their secret love is definitely real in their world, since JKR wrote them that way--as closet gays by total accident, but the official canon does not explicitly confirm their romantic connection. ;_;

Final Summary:

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★

Obsession & Codependence: 5/5 ★★★★★

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★

Touchy-Feely: 2.5/5 ★★★☆☆

Canon? 2/5 ★★☆☆☆

Total: 4.08 out of 5 stars

3. Show: Hannigram--(Hannibal Lecter & Will Graham)

Pros:

Obsession & Codependence

Intimate Moments

Chemistry

Sacrifices

When asked about the relationship between Will and Hannibal: "For me, Hannibal has always been a romantic horror story. Even from the get-go of the series." ~Bryan Fuller (Creator)

Cons:

Not the touchiest duo in terms of physical affection—this is all about the mental, emotional, and psychological tango.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5/5 The chemistry between Hannibal and Will is both terrifying and compelling. Their intellectual sparring, emotional vulnerability, and seductive manipulation create a deep, electrifying connection. Even without explicit romantic actions, the tension between them is palpable in every scene, pulling them together in a destructive yet irresistible bond. Every glance or exchange feels weighted with unspoken desire. Their chemistry is magnetic and dangerous. Every scene between Will and Hannibal is charged with tension. Their chemistry builds on manipulation, psychological games, and seduction, creating a connection that feels as inevitable as it is destructive. Even without traditional romance or intimacy, their bond is electrifying and nearly impossible to look away from. Electrifying, built on mutual manipulation, psychological chess, and seduction.

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ 5/5

Hannibal and Will's intimacy comes from their deep psychological connection rather than physical affection. Their relationship is built on understanding each other's darkest desires and fears, allowing them to share a closeness that few could replicate.

Though physical touch is rare, the sheer intensity of their mental and emotional intimacy makes their relationship profoundly intimate. While Will and Hannibal’s relationship isn't traditionally physical, their intimate moments are charged with emotional depth and psychological intensity. They share many intellectual exchanges that build the feeling of closeness. They even ‘adopt’ a daughter together and Hannibal planned to have them all run away together. They have an intense intellectual intimacy.

Obsession & Codependence: ★★★★★ 5/5 Hannigram is defined by mutual obsession. Hannibal’s fixation on Will is all-consuming, while Will is constantly torn between his own fascination and fear of Hannibal, creating a dark, codependent relationship where both seem incapable of letting go of each other. Their love becomes destructive but undeniable, spiraling into mutual obsession. They are unable to escape each other, deeply intertwined in a codependent relationship. Their unhealthy dependency elevates their connection to an extreme, spiraling into an all-or-nothing love that leaves no room for anything else in their lives. Off the charts! Hannibal’s love is an all-consuming, dangerous obsession. Will’s constant mental push-and-pull with Hannibal’s influence shows a deep, dark co-dependence.

Sacrifices: ★★★★★ 5/5

*SPOILERS FOR ENDING IN THIS SECTION OF SACRIFICES*

Both Will and Hannibal are willing to sacrifice everything for the other—morality, lives, innocence, and even their own sanity. By the end of the series, they are both willing to kill for each other (Hannibal even kills someone he loves deeply for Will), and the finale showcases that ultimate willingness to die together with the cliff scene—where they metaphorically and literally fall together—marking their ultimate sacrifice for their bond. It’s the kind of all-consuming bond where nothing is off-limits. Will sacrifices his sense of self. Hannibal sacrifices his plans, resources, and carefully cultivated image just for Will. Will, despite being a force for good, is willing to compromise his values, embrace darkness, and sacrifice the safety of others for Hannibal.

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★☆ 4.5/5 They share many sensual moments that add to the relationship's intensity. When Hannibal and Will touch, it's brief but deeply charged, loaded with meaning. Not to mention, they almost kissed in the series finale! The physical touches between Will and Hannibal are subtle yet charged with deep emotional and psychological intensity. These touches include Hannibal’s caring, almost possessive gestures like touching Will's face during so-called “medical examinations,” symbolic dream sequences where they merge together, and the highly intimate moments like when Hannibal cradles a wounded Will or helps him to his feet after a fight. They excel in emotional and psychological closeness, and when the physical aspect is present, it feels like an event—transformative, even. While not overly frequent, these moments reflect their complex, entwined relationship, blending care, control, and fascination.

Their almost-kiss:

How Canon: ★★★★★

Creator Bryan Fuller has confirmed that Hannibal was always meant to be a romantic horror story, and the series shows that explicitly by the end. The romantic subtext becomes full-on text, particularly in the final two seasons, with both Will and Hannibal entangled in a twisted, deadly love story. There’s no ambiguity here—by the end, their love is openly acknowledged by the characters, even if it manifests in the most dangerous of ways.

Final Summary:

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★

Obsession & Codependence: 5/5 ★★★★★

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★

Touchy-Feely Levels: 4.5/5 ★★★★☆

How Canon:  5/5 ★★★★★ 

Total: 4.91 stars out of 5.

4. Show: Supernatural--Destiel (Dean Winchester & Castiel)

Pros:

Sacrifices 

Chemistry

Obsession & Codependence

Intimate Moments

Cons:

*Spoilers for the end*

Dean’s side of things is a little more ambiguous despite Cas’s confession. Plus, they never fully addressed it beyond that.

1. Chemistry: ★★★★★

Level: 5/5

*SPOILERS*

The chemistry between Dean and Cas is electrifying, built on years of longing, emotional tension, and deep connection. They have 12 seasons of unresolved tension, with countless lingering looks and longing stares, moments of vulnerability, and emotional conversations. It's the kind of chemistry that often leaves viewers wondering why they haven't kissed yet. The show builds their interactions like a slow-burn romance that plays on subtlety and emotional depth, though it’s more about their soulful connection than physical. Cas’s confession solidifies what fans had known for years: that their bond went beyond simple friendship. The way Dean and Cas interact, often like a long-term couple with unresolved feelings, makes their chemistry undeniable, even though it took seasons for the show to confirm it outright.

Literally all the characters thought they had a thing for each other. LOL. Many joke that they are boyfriends and "attached at the hips."

2. Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★

Level: 5/5

Their emotional intimacy is high-level. They are a very serious couple with deep emotional issues that they have to sort out. (Like long-term husbands do. V_V) This ship is a deeper/more serious pairing for sure, though they do have moments of humor. Dean allows Cas into his guarded heart, which is no small feat, and Cas is always there for Dean through every moment of vulnerability. Their deep conversations and emotional moments reveal layers of feelings that go beyond mere friendship. We finally got the canon confirmation of Cas’s love for Dean after over a decade of so-very-obvious pining, making the relationship feel even more profound and intimate.

3. Obsession & Codependence: ★★★★☆

Level: 4/5

Dean and Castiel’s relationship is incredibly co-dependent. Cas literally falls from heaven for Dean and sacrifices everything—his family, his angelic duties, even his life—multiple times for him. Dean is deeply torn between his responsibilities and his feelings for Cas. They constantly come back to one another after fights and disagreements (where 95% of the time, Dean is in the wrong), with Dean repeatedly apologizing and choosing Cas, and of course, Cas always is very willing to take him back and accept his apology, even after this one time when he beat Cas to a bloody pulp and almost stabbed Cas to death. Dean later got flashbacks of this, as it traumatized him. (Dean was not in a good place. He was battling the Mark of Cain, which he willingly took on to save the world, as he, being so selfless and self-sacrificing, tends to do.) Their obsession with each other drives many of the show's conflicts, creating an undeniable codependency. They often live/travel together and are total husbands! Their lives revolve around each other. They (along with Sam) raise an adopted newborn son together in their bunker/permanent home, and the son calls them his “three dads.” 🥺 Very domestic! (Their infant son is 2 by series finale but chose to come into the world in the body of a 27-year-old man—the same age as Jensen/Dean in season one, because he knew otherwise he wouldn't be safe. GOOD CALL!) The only reason they lose a star is because Dean will always put his brother Sam above all else, so Cas will never truly be his number one. Meanwhile, Cas’s entire character arc revolves around Dean, while Dean is constantly torn between the mission and his feelings for Cas.

4. Sacrifices: ★★★★☆

*SPOILERS FOR THE END IN THIS SECTION*

Level: 4/5

Cas repeatedly sacrifices everything, including his angelic status, heaven, his powers, his family, and eventually, his life, all for Dean. Dean, in turn, sacrifices his emotional barriers, constantly letting Cas in despite the risks to his heart. Dean shows sacrifice in his emotional openness. Cas’s ultimate sacrifice, confessing his love and then dying whilst saving Dean’s life, is the culmination of years of devotion. Castiel’s sacrifices are larger in scale than Dean's, often costing Cas everything. Castiel's arc is defined by his devotion to Dean, making him one of the most selfless characters in the series. Cas literally died for Dean—multiple times. Cas throws away all of heaven/his family that he’s known since the beginning of time all for Dean. Dean has repeatedly shown emotional vulnerability and trust towards Cas, which is significant given Dean’s mega-guarded ‘macho’ nature. This emotional openness often puts Dean at risk of emotional pain and betrayal (Dean has secretly cried many times over Cas, and this man doesn't cry!) Dean has said that he considers praying to be begging, but yet he prays to Cas all the time, especially when they can't be together, or are in the middle of an argument and are physically separated. Dean’s dedication to Cas sometimes strained his relationships with others, including his brother Sam, and led to conflicts. But because Cas’s sacrifices are far more extreme and Dean’s sacrifices are much less, they get 4 stars. Ultimately, Cas overwhelmingly sacrifices more with much less in return.

5. Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★☆☆ 3.5/5

Level: 3.5/5

Dean and Cas have an intense emotional connection, and although they aren't the most physically affectionate, there are a number of moments of close physical proximity, like when they hug (which they do five times!), or their many lingering touches, pats on backs or shoulders, eyesex, longing stares, one time Cas even showed up on Dean's car naked and covered in bees (LOL), but they lack the constant hand-holding and easy constant physical affection or constant physical proximity that might we see with some other slash ships. This is likely due to the show’s ambiguity surrounding Dean’s feelings. Their relationship thrives on emotional and psychological closeness, rather than touch. Their connection is more about the soul than the body, though the longing gazes certainly count! 

6. Canon?: ★★★★★ 5/5

*SPOILERS IN THIS WHOLE SECTION*

Cas’s love for Dean is explicitly confirmed, which cements the ship as canon from Cas’s perspective. While Dean doesn’t reciprocate in words, his emotional reaction and devastation suggest strong feelings of reciprocation. Dean’s side remains just slightly ambiguous onscreen (us shippers see it plain AS DAY especially with all the parallels to them being an epic romance!), and Misha Collins (Castiel) was quick to confirm that:

"Dean was always too shocked in the moment to respond." ~Misha Collins

While the show stops just short of fully embracing the romance, the confession is a pivotal, iconic moment. The confession remains one of the most iconic moments in the show.

Final Rankings:

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★  

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Obsession & Codependence: 4/5 ★★★★☆ 

Sacrifices: 4/5 ★★★★☆ 

Touchy-Feely Levels: 3.5/5 ★★★☆☆ 

Canon? 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Total: 4.41 stars out of 5

5. Anime: Banana Fish: Asheiji (Ash & Eiji)

Pros:

Themes of Healing and Redemption

Tons of Emotional Intimacy

Obsession/Codependence

Many Sacrifices

Loads of Chemistry

Cons:

Lack of Explicit Physical Canonization: While the emotional bond is undeniable, the relationship is never physically explicit in the traditional sense. For fans looking for more open romance or physical intimacy between characters, the lack of canonized romantic development might feel unsatisfying.

Ratings:

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★☆☆ 3.5/5 stars

They have notable moments of physical closeness, such as tender/supportive hugs and the kiss that totally took Eiji by surprise (to pass a secret note to him), when Eiji helps get Ash into the shower, and they occasionally touch lightly, but it's not the primary focus of their relationship. Their bond is more about emotional connection and shared experiences.

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Extremely high levels of emotional intimacy. Their relationship is built on deep emotional support and understanding, making it a core aspect of their connection. Ash and Eiji share a profound emotional bond that transcends traditional definitions of friendship or romance. Eiji represents a source of light and peace in Ash’s dark, violent world, while Ash becomes Eiji’s protector and emotional anchor. This deep emotional intimacy is one of the most compelling aspects of their relationship. Ash allows himself to be vulnerable around Eiji in ways that he does with no one else. Eiji becomes the only person Ash trusts entirely. Eiji feels safe with Ash, even when surrounded by danger, showing how much faith he has in Ash's abilities and care. Eiji symbolizes hope and healing for Ash, offering him a chance to escape his tragic life. Their relationship serves as a narrative of redemption, as Ash, who is accustomed to violence and manipulation, finds unconditional love and acceptance in Eiji. Their love, while not super explicit, is often interpreted as deeply romantic by fans due to the intense emotions they share. Their relationship transcends labels, making it a beautiful representation of love in its purest form—one that defies societal conventions. Their emotional connection is profound. Ash and Eiji share a deep bond characterized by mutual support, understanding, and a strong emotional connection. Their intimacy is central to their relationship.

Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Asheiji involves strong codependence with significant emotional impact. Their connection is deeply entwined, and they are both obsessed with each other to the extreme. All Ash can think about is Eiji, which leads to enormous consequences. Eiji for his part, loves Ash and obsesses over him endlessly. They demonstrate a significant level of codependence. Ash and Eiji are deeply intertwined in each other's lives, and their relationship profoundly affects their actions and decisions.

Sacrifices: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

They make notable sacrifices for each other, showing dedication and commitment. Their sacrifices are substantial. Ash was willing to send Eiji away for his own safety despite Eiji being the only light in his life, but Eiji didn’t go, risking his life by choosing to stay. They’ve both put their lives directly in danger for the other. Both characters make considerable sacrifices for each other. Ash’s actions are often influenced by his desire to protect and be with Eiji, while Eiji shows remarkable dedication and commitment, despite the dangerous circumstances. Eiji takes care of Ash when he’s unwell or hurt. At one point, Ash tried to shoot himself dead to protect Eiji but unbeknownst to him, there were no bullets in the gun. Eiji jumped in front of a bullet for Ash once, landing him in the hospital. Ash’s fierce protectiveness over Eiji is a central element of the ship. This dynamic creates powerful, emotional moments throughout Banana Fish, where Ash goes to extreme lengths to ensure Eiji’s safety, showcasing the true depth of his feelings.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars Their chemistry is compelling, with a blend of tenderness and intensity that defines their relationship. They are magnetic, built on emotional vulnerability, trust, and a shared experience that pulls them together in powerful, often understated ways. Their chemistry is notable, with a mix of emotional depth and connection that drives the narrative. Their interactions are charged with both tenderness and intensity.

How Canon?: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Their relationship is confirmed as canon by the creator, making it a deeply acknowledged romantic connection. It was heavy subtext in the anime, but in the manga Garden of Light, it became explicit. While not explicitly sexual, it is recognized as a deep, romantic soulmate connection.

In the manga, Sing Soo-Ling (creator) states in the short story “Garden of Light” that they truly loved each other and were soulmates.

Final summary:

Touchy-Feely Levels: 3.5/5 ★★★☆☆ 

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Obsession/Codependence: 5/5 ★★★★★

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★  

How Canon?: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Total:  4.75 out of 5 stars

6. Merthur (Merlin & Arthur Pendragon) 

Pros:

Extremely Touchy-Feely

Sacrifices 

Chemistry

Obsession & Codependence

“I think it’s a love story, it absolutely is a love story.”  ~Julian Murphy (creator)

Cons:

It quietly went canon, with no obvious love declaration or successful kiss onscreen.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars The chemistry between Merlin and Arthur is undeniable and electric, with an unspoken bond that far surpasses all other relationships, including their other romantic ones. Their banter, loyalty, and constant presence in each other’s lives create a compelling and often flirtatious dynamic. Arthur lights up around Merlin in a way he never does with anyone else, including his wife, Gwen. The high school AU vibes are real—they bicker, laugh, have a deep emotional connection, and have an undeniable pull towards each other. The tension between them, combined with their loyalty and the way they light up around each other, creates an undeniable spark that draws viewers in. Their palpable tension makes their relationship feel very much like a secret castle romance, which is what it basically was as confirmed in the commentary. Their unspoken understanding and constant presence in each other’s lives create a chemistry that’s magnetic and endearing. Unspoken yet undeniable. Well, others speak of their bond, just not them most of the time (though in their intimate moments, they do, too!) Like Princess Mithian once commented saying to Merlin, "Arthur values your opinion above almost all others."

And after seeing them together for only a few days, Merlin's mother says:

The great dragon Kilgharrah has always said that they're two sides of the same coin, and that they make each other whole. So it's confirmed that they're soulmates, literally half of each other. Their bond is one of loyalty, humor, and an endless, deep connection. They are like a cutesy/angsty high school AU of secret gay boyfriends. The whole castle is aware of Merlin’s ‘other woman’ status and they treat him as such. 

2. Emotional Intimacy:  ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Merlin and Arthur’s relationship is defined by an unbreakable bond that transcends friendship, with deep emotional intimacy, playful chemistry, and mutual reliance. They constantly bicker, but their loyalty to each other is unwavering, with Merlin secretly sacrificing everything to protect Arthur, while Arthur depends on Merlin for emotional support and guidance, often treating him as more than just a manservant. However, the secret of Merlin’s magic creates a subtle yet significant barrier in their relationship. While Merlin sacrifices everything for Arthur, he can never fully trust him with the truth about his identity. This adds complexity to their bond, highlighting how the political climate of Camelot and Merlin’s fear of rejection prevents their relationship from reaching its fullest potential of emotional honesty. Merlin’s secrecy prevents the relationship from being entirely transparent, meaning Arthur doesn't fully know who Merlin is. While Merlin harbors this secret, Arthur bares his entire soul to Merlin, his best friend, and tells him everything. He trusts Merlin with his life, and Merlin trusts him (aside from the magic part). This limitation keeps them from achieving the ultimate level of emotional closeness, despite their otherwise strong connection. From lingering gazes (SO MUCH EYESEX--there's 23 minutes of eyesex in a 65 episode show), and shared vulnerabilities (Merlin does share his vulnerabilities with Arthur, just not the magic), their connection feels deeply personal. They are each other's #1 best friend. These moments go far beyond any other relationship either has in the show, creating a profound, unspoken closeness that is intimate in both the emotional and physical sense. Arthur tells Merlin everything, unlike with his sweet wife Gwen. He is able to truly be himself around Merlin. For Arthur, due to the way he was raised, everything has an order. With Gwen, he is always super formal/polite. Basically, she is not his friend. He has put her squarely in the "wife" category. Merlin is supposed to be put in "servant" category but Merlin becomes his actual dearest best friend, a category none of his knights touch, since his knights are put in "knights" category. He expects his knights to die for him, he expects Gwen to always be supportive & loving. He expected Merlin to listen to him and respect him, but Merlin is, as Arthur puts it, "Well, you've been terrible. I mean it. Worst servant I've ever had." Even being such a terrible servant, Arthur refuses to fire him, even upset when Merlin goes missing so they find an actual GOOD & perfect servant, George (who hilariously even dresses up as Merlin).

So as Merlin keeps from Arthur the most vital thing about himself, Arthur confides in him more than anyone else, showing trust and vulnerability that he doesn't share even with his wife. He calls Merlin his friend. For context of how special this is, he doesn't even consider his knights his friends.. Even in season 4 finale (14 episodes from the series finale) he told Merlin that Merlin was still his "only friend." The physical comfort and emotional intensity between them, along with creator and cast commentary referring to their relationship as a love story, suggest that their bond is romantic in nature, even if it was never fully confirmed on-screen. Even though for most of the show, Merlin keeps such a vital part of himself from Arthur, since in the end, he did reveal himself (& I'm rating based off of how the relationship left off), these two get a full 5 stars.

3. Obsession & Codependence:  ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Merlin and Arthur are inseparable, spending almost every moment together. Arthur relies on Merlin for everything, from making major decisions to simply getting dressed in the mornings (I truly wonder how he did this before Merlin. One time when Merlin was gone, Arthur had to ask the Court Physician for help with putting on a shirt & he ended up getting stuck in it, then ripped the shirt......... -______-;). As his wife Gwen was helping him with his armor, Arthur said, sounding very frustrated and like a petulant toddler, "I want Merlin back. Where is he?" ;u; Merlin feels the need to follow Arthur everywhere, even while gravely injured. Merlin was still begging not to be taken back home despite barely being able to speak, but thankfully after Lancelot took Merlin and the two made their way back, Merlin was able to heal himself midway. Then he and Lancelot caught up with Arthur and the other knights again!

Arthur relies on Merlin more than any other person, often over his more experienced knights or even his wife. Their bond is so strong it becomes unhealthy. Their trust and devotion to one another are undeniable. Arthur’s dependence is extreme. Arthur literally takes Merlin on his dates with him and Gwen and even had Merlin hide behind curtains for when he proposed to Gwen. -______-; This is NOT NORMAL. That song "Me you and Steve" is literally THEM (and comments all agreed that animatic is basically the show in a nutshell--it even uses actual show scenes)! Poor Gwen. ;u; Arthur couldn't remember the anniversary of his wedding even though Merlin reminded him the day before, and also, regarding his courting of Gwen:

"He sends Merlin to gather flowers for her, to prepare the date for them, etc. It's not genuine, and this is a boring and chemistry-less relationship. I especially laughed when there was a plot of Gwen being basically replaced by an evil twin. Merlin noticed it almost right away while Arthur didn't, even though they spent weeks together, sharing a bed, having conversations, and so on. He didn't realize the love of his life was replaced!" ~K_S_Morgan

The fact that Arthur instantly knows when Merlin is upset but doesn't notice that his wife hates him for weeks.... He noticed and counted how many days since Merlin smiled! This King has priorities I guess…. LMAO! It shows he's not super oblivious, he just pays attention to things he cares about..... Whenever Merlin is more withdrawn, Arthur always notices and tries to cheer him up. He clearly wouldn't notice if it was Gwen.

You know who would have most definitely noticed 100%? Lancelot!!! Lancelot loved Gwen like Arthur could never. *now I'm trying to not cry* Lancelot and Gwen were soulmates in the same way Merlin and Arthur were. Lancelot would've put her first in all things he did. He was loyal to Arthur because of Merlin, so he would've most definitely put her above ALL else if they'd been allowed to be together. But the show forced her character to stay with Arthur, a gay man, simply because that's the way it was in the legends. Otherwise, the showrunners put zero effort into making their love story believable. It was obvious the aim of the show wasn’t Arthur/Gwen, but Merthur. They said it themselves. They showed a bit of Gwen/Arthur because it is an important part of the legend, but otherwise, that was it. No effort otherwise. Such a disservice to their characters.

Once, when Arthur was on a nice romantic picnic date with Gwen, he told her that he always wanted to run far away from Camelot....... and then he said, "Of course, I'd take Merlin with me." WHAT THE ACTUAL FLUCK. He never once implies she would go with him. Who says this to their date? ???? ??????????? Its just common courtesy to say at least your date can go too lool. but he was not having it XD Once she's queen, all the courting is out (because he was doing such a stellar job at that lol). He settles into the boring married couple routine, and season 5 is also when all gay breaks loose. (He and Gwen got married in the last episode of season 4.)

Arthur and Merlin’s obsession with each other is off the charts. Arthur listens to Merlin more than anyone else. Merlin stopped Arthur from marrying Princess Elena after Gwen, who Arthur was in the talking stage with at the time, tried unsuccessfully to stop it. Literally one word from Merlin was all it took for Arthur to stand the princess up at the alter. 😐 Arthur’s reliance on Merlin is intense, and they clearly cannot bear to be apart. This is Sam/Dean Winchester-on-steriods codependence. Their bond is a constant force in the show, making it central to the plot and their lives.

They are utterly devoted to one another, and Arthur trusts Merlin more than anyone else. These two spent BY FAR the most time together of all mentioned ships. They could not live w/o each other, codependent to extremely unhealthy levels. They had to spend practically every moment together good grief. Very angry/upset when apart for even just a day. Especially Arthur. Arthur is always shouting at Merlin to be next to him when he notices Merlin has lagged behind, even when they're in the castle, and Merlin would roll his eyes but have the biggest most dopey grin and run after him. They are always at each other's sides, even on epic quests that require Arthur to go  "alone and unaided." Merlin is like an extension of himself, ofc Merlin would go! LOL. If I could, I'd give them 10 out of 5 stars for obsession tbh.

*SPOILERS FOR THE END* Arthur literally cannot function without Merlin. His obsession with Merlin's presence, combined with Merlin’s unwavering loyalty, creates an intensely close and often codependent dynamic. In many ways, Merlin needs Arthur too, and without Arthur, Merlin just wanders until he's able to be with Arthur again, no matter how many hundreds or thousands of years pass. Merlin will wander around that same lake where he put Arthur to rest. ;~; If that's not codependent, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS! Not to mention, in that lake/Avalon, Arthur is just waiting for Merlin to need him again so that he can come back to life. CODEPENDENT TO A TEE! Merlin is 100% dependent on Arthur to feel whole again, because canonically, they are two halves of the same coin.

4. Sacrifices: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Both Merlin and Arthur make profound sacrifices for each other that go beyond typical devotion. Merlin sacrifices everything—his entire life’s purpose, dreams, chance at a normal life, his humanity—all for Arthur, consistently putting Arthur’s safety above his own happiness, goals, and desires to end the ban on magic (lifting the ban was supposed to be more important than Arthur, his ultimate goal of the series was to lift the ban in order to unite all of Albion, but Merlin never got the memo). Merlin sacrifices his emotional well-being by living in secrecy even though it causes him personal pain.

Arthur, in return, sacrifices his pride, royal expectations, a sense of propriety, and adherence to social norms by elevating Merlin to a position of trust and power that goes far beyond what is appropriate in the class-strict society they live in. Arthur often treats Merlin as his equal and his life partner despite the massive class divide. The level of trust and emotional vulnerability Arthur shows toward Merlin is profound, especially in trusting him with decisions that even his knights and advisors don’t influence, showing how much he is willing to sacrifice for their bond. Arthur was willing to sacrifice everything his father had warned him about magic and lift the ban, if only Merlin had agreed (naturally he asked Merlin for his opinion on such a serious topic)! But unfortunately, since Merlin thought doing so would cost Arthur his life, Merlin with great sadness, said that all magic was evil. 

Arthur’s vulnerability and complete trust in Merlin challenged everything he was raised to believe, and Merlin consistently chose Arthur over his own needs. This was the ultimate demonstration of mutual sacrifice.

One time Arthur was forced to order Merlin back to Camelot bc Merlin couldn't even walk due to his injuries. Arthur was not happy about having to send him away and seemed pretty distraught, eyes red-rimmed and tearful. Arthur almost abandoned the quest, even though one of his knights reminded him that if they abandoned the quest, hundreds more would perish. If not for Lancelot offering to take Merlin back, Arthur would have abandoned the quest, sacrificing hundreds of his people's lives, all for Merlin! When Arthur finds out the truth about Merlin’s magic, he wasn’t angry about the illegal magic, he was only hurt that Merlin felt he couldn’t trust him. Despite the imbalance in the scale of sacrifices, both characters show an overwhelming willingness to give up significant parts of themselves for the sake of the other (if Arthur had known about the magic sooner, he would’ve been able to do his part in sacrificing more for Merlin). Merlin constantly sacrifices everything for Arthur. Arthur sacrifices his royal status by treating Merlin as a trusted confidant/"husband"/"other woman", so much so that his actual wife becomes more like the mother he never had (he gives her chaste kisses, doesn't let her truly in like he does Merlin. At one point she casually says, "Arthur never tells me anything.”) Merlin, a mere servant, starts ordering the knights around as early as season 2, something that only the ‘other woman’ would ever be able to do! This swapping of roles challenges social norms and his strict upbringing, where his father drills it into his head that royalty cannot consort with those of lower rank. This bond often puts Arthur in vulnerable positions where he places Merlin’s advice above that of his much more experienced knights and advisors, despite the fact that Arthur is always calling Merlin an idiot. If idiot, why listen to all major decisions? Arthur is clearly smitten. 

*SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT IN THIS SECTION*

The final sacrifices they both make: Merlin waits over a thousand years, five hundred for Arthur to rise again for him, since after 1500+ years, Merlin's the last remaining piece of Albion. And Arthur is in Avalon, waiting for the day Merlin will finally need him again. 😭 (In the show, they have ghosts, & Merlin put Arthur’s body in the lake with Freya, whom Merlin was still able to talk to now and then.)

5. Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

There’s a clear sense of physical comfort between the two that you don’t even see in Arthur’s canonical romantic relationships. The contrast between Arthur's comfort with Merlin versus his awkwardness around his wife Gwen suggests that Merlin and Arthur share a deeper physical comfort level.

Merlin and Arthur's "touchy-feely" levels are high, with frequent touches--from regularly bathing Arthur to falling asleep next to him, moments of deep physical proximity, like humping each other while making highly suggestive noises then falling asleep curled up together in that net, constant touching through roughhousing, close physical proximity, and they even held hands a total of six times (in 1 scene, it was 4 times in one setting as they were fleeing). Even though they only hug once (Merlin: "Hugging is… for amateurs?" Lmao. Versus what else they do, yes, yes, *Arthur cracks his knuckles* Arthur: "Hugging very much is for amateurs!"), with constant physical contact reinforcing their emotional connection, their touchy-feely levels are some of the highest (all they need to do now is copulate tbh 🥴 which they will guarantee do once Arthur is out of Avalon and back with Merlin!)

Here they humped each other to sleep (the close-up shots were super sexual too, but I wanted to post this panned-out view so yall can see what they were really doing):

^Merlin needed to get some keys so he decided the best way was to pull Arthur's pants down. LOL. The fandom collectively agrees he didn't really need to lick his lips, pull Arthur's pants down, and wrestle him in front of the council to get them........

Merlin also bathes Arthur regularly. We have zero canon proof other than assumptions that his wife's ever even seen him naked... Cue the scene where he walks out naked expecting Merlin but sees Gwen, his actual fiance, and the first thing he says is (notice he's covering himself with a pillow presumably because she's never seen him unclothed):

And then afterward, he basically runs away. He isn't a teenager but a grown ass man. Gwen is supposedly his "one true love." Make it make sense. He used to always sleep shirtless but once he married her, he only slept with his shirt on…… How.. strange. It’s really no wonder Gwen never got pregnant in all the four years they were together. There's a random rumor that she was infertile, but I've watched the show multiple times and never is this supposed "infertility" mentioned (if it was, I'd know). I think they simply were not sleeping together due to the king being a flaming homosexual for his manservant. (literally who is surprised?) Merlin & Arthur only hug once throughout the series, but the other things they do more than makeup for their lack of hugs. Oh, & Arthur is absolutely fixated on Merlin's butt and Merlin is fixated on Arthur's crotch.... (I have pages of tags just of all the times these two were fixated on one another's butts & crotches..) These two have serious issues and need to just fuck it out already.

and it's like, "Merlin, my eyes are up here" (but why such a bulge???)

^Pantless Arthur's like, 'Stop checking out my cock, now lemme see dat ass. ;)' Sometimes I can't believe this is a real show.

6. How Canon?: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars

*SPOILERS IN THIS SECTION*

The romantic subtext is undeniable and supported by cast and creator commentary confirming the love story. In the very last episode, Arthur mouthed 'I love you' along with the two almost-kisses (first time they were staring at each other's lips & the show's default romantic theme song was playing in the background--music choices are always intentional; second time Arthur was dying & he tried tugging Merlin's face in, but he died mid-kiss).

^they were staring at each other's lips and the show's default romance theme song was playing.. This was also the final episode, & afterward, the showrunners confirmed they were a love story.

Julian Murphy, one of the creators, openly refers to the relationship as a “love story between two men,” to which Katie McGrath (Morgana) responded, “You maybe just confirmed what a lot of people [shippers] thought.”

Alexander Vlahos (Mordred) referred to their love as a "brilliant love story" and an official ad for the DVD boxed set said, "There's much to recommend about this mythical hokum, but it's the droll, sweet love story between Arthur and Merlin that compels in the BBC's excellent fantasy series." Droll means 'funny' so it was essentially calling the show a romcom between Merlin & Arthur. 😂 Which perfectly describes it, actually!

Summary:

Chemistry: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Emotional Intimacy:  ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Obsession & Codependence:  ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Sacrifices: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) How Canon?: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars)

Total: 5 out of 5 stars

7. Scorbus (Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Potter)

Based on the new script developments:

Pros:

Deep Emotional Bond

Mutual Dependence

Intimate Moments

Affectionate Banter and Chemistry

Queer-Coded Subtext

“One of the most notable changes is the shift in the relationship between Scorpius and Albus from a close friendship to a romantic one, making 'Scorbus' canon. John Tiffany, the director of the play, has been involved in these updates…”

Cons:

Not Fully Canonized:

While the emotional bond between Scorpius and Albus is incredibly strong, it is never explicitly confirmed as romantic in the play itself. This can be frustrating for fans who wish for a more overt romantic resolution or confession, especially given the chemistry between them.

Albus’s Emotional Immaturity:

Albus is a more emotionally volatile character compared to Scorpius. He can sometimes be reckless, brooding, and push away those closest to him, including Scorpius. This emotional immaturity occasionally creates tension between them and could be seen as a barrier to a healthy romantic relationship.

Viewings inconsistent:

The play can change depending on the night or how the actors feel a certain day. Because of this, you never know what could happen on any given day, which means that the Scorbus might be amazing (like an almost-kiss) or it may be more toned down and not include that.

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★☆ 4 of 5 stars

The way they prioritize each other gives strong undertones of romantic affection. They share moments of physical closeness, such as hugging, forehead touches, very occasional hand-holding, and other comforting touches, that emphasize their romantic friendship and emotional bond.  In some viewings, Albus is seen to almost kiss Scorpius but Scorpius is always oblivious to this and moves away!

2. Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars

They are extremely close and are each other’s #1. They comfort each other during difficult times and tell each other everything. They share everything, providing each other with comfort and support. Their deep emotional bond is a key component of their relationship. Their bond is characterized by deep emotional intimacy and affection, which are key elements of a romantic friendship. They provide each other with significant emotional support throughout the play.  Scorpius and Albus continue to share a very deep emotional connection. They are each other's confidants, supporting one another through personal struggles—Albus' difficult relationship with Harry and Scorpius' grief over his mother and the rumors surrounding his lineage. Albus' refusal to abandon Scorpius in times of crisis continue to be strong indicators of their connection.

3. Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars Their bond is intense and inseparable with significant emotional dependency. They exhibit classic signs of codependency, feeling deeply affected by any separation. They are consistently the most important person in one another’s lives. Their bond is intense, much like classic codependent ships. They both cry when they’re no longer allowed to be close, despite being 14 years old (too old for this kind of behavior, honestly. I mean, can you see Ron and Harry behaving like this during their 4th year..? Because quite frankly, I can’t.) They share an emotional bond, which is an essential part of their journey. They rely on each other for emotional support, making their friendship the most important relationship in the play. Their relationship is a bit codependent, especially since Albus tends to rely heavily on Scorpius for emotional support. Their closeness is endearing, heavily relying on each other for validation and comfort.

Actual line from play:

4. Sacrifices: ★★★★☆ 4 of 5 stars They are willing to make significant sacrifices for each other’s well-being, including risking their safety and affecting each other's lives through time-traveling adventures. Scorpius sacrifices a lot more for Albus though. He allows Albus to rant about his dad, all the while, he’d just lost his mother. Scorpius follows Albus blindly into immense danger because he loves him so much. Albus sacrifices a good relationship with his father to keep seeing Scorpius. Ultimately, they’re both willing to risk everything for each other, but because Scorpius sacrifices quite a bit more, they get 4 stars.

5. Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars Their chemistry is undeniable with a lot of emotional depth and moments of longing and vulnerability. Sparks fly at every sweet interaction between the two completely fluffy boys. The tension is less physical and more about their shared experiences and emotional vulnerability with each other. Their banter, affection, and overall chemistry carry through. Their interactions are filled with humor and warmth, which gives their relationship a unique charm compared to others in the series.

6. How Canon?: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars

Their feelings are confirmed by the playwrights and the script changes suggest romantic implications, including how Albus even comes out to his dad in the end confirming his love for Scorpius. The playwrights have said that the only reason they're not in a relationship is due to their ages (the characters are in 4th year whilst most romance in Harry Potter happens in 6th year). The playwright has stated that the queerness is very real. This is a queer high school love story in its early stages. ❤️ It's heavily implied that they oh-so-obviously got married (because in HP, marrying one's high school sweetheart is the norm) & therefore (& I'm sure they will just be thrilled!) Harry and Draco will be related through marriage at last (though not exactly in the way I want). 🫨

Overall Summary: 

Physical Intimacy: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Sacrifices: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Chemistry: ★★★★★ (5/5)

How Canon?: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Total: 4.66 / 5 stars

FINAL WINNERS (decided ties based on how on-screen the canon material was + how much trauma was endured):

WINNER: 

🥇 Merthur Takes the Crown! 👑✨🎉

(Arthur Pendragon x Merlin - Merlin)

🏆🎉 All Hail the Kings of Gaydom! 🎉🏆

^Just fuckin kiss already dear gods.

In an epic showdown of ships, where love transcends timelines, magic, and destiny itself, Merthur has claimed the crown as the Gayest Ship in our tournament! 🌈💖

Ok, so this is my OTP, but I really was being partial!!

This ship truly has the full package:

Devotion spanning thousands of years. (The only ship of the list this canonically applies to.)

Humor (the show was labeled a "romcom between Merlin & Arthur" by that aforementioned ad).

Playfulness (lots of boyish roughhousing because Arthur's a jock who likes to mess with his dorky nerdy boyfriend who was 16 in the pilot episode--these two were young!)

Never-ending loyalty

Life/death sacrifices

MOST OBSESSIVE SHIP!!!! (like, way more than Wincest, which is saying something. 👀)

MOST SEXUAL SCENES. 💦 This ship is most definitely the ship with the most sexual/touchy-feely scenes (which is why I have so many gifs of them doing sexual stuff.... I can't find those gifs for the other ships except Hannigram maybe?), which always ups their chemistry. ;)

Tears. So many tears. From us, from them. This is such a tearful and powerfully poignant ship of epic proportions.

Makes you feel good because they are SO FUN together! Their dynamic is extremely entertaining to watch.

From birth—Arthur and Merlin were destined to be soulmates. Whether it's Merlin saving Arthur's life (for the hundredth time!) or Arthur secretly cherishing every snarky comment and stolen glance, their bond is the definition of legendary. Their love, though unspoken in so many ways, has always been undeniable to us and the rest of the castle (knights and all--EVERYONE noticed, even visiting royals). We all saw through every swordfight and sassy banter to the truest love story of the series. ✨

This win celebrates their journey from servant and prince to something so much deeper. Through battles, quests, betrayals, and everything Camelot threw at them, they always prioritized each other, proving that magic isn’t the only powerful force—it’s love. 💫

Congratulations to Merthur for showing us that destiny was never just about a kingdom—it was about the undeniable connection between two hearts. Let the celebrations in Camelot begin!

Long live the once and future kings of gay ships! 👑🌈

Runner Up: 

🥈💀 Hannigram: Dark, Delicious, and Dangerously Close to Victory!

(Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham – Hannibal)

🔪✨ They love each other... to death. ✨🔪

They say love is a dangerous game, and no one plays it quite like Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham. In our tournament of ships, the twisted, tantalizing bond of Hannigram slashed its way to a close second, proving once again that darkness and desire make one hell of a pairing! 🌹🔪

From mind games to dinner dates (where the menu is… questionable 🍽️👀), the chemistry between these two transcends morality, sanity, and the human heart. It's a dance of obsession, control, and unrelenting affection—one that left us all on the edge of our seats, breathless and horrified in equal measure.

While their love may be unconventional, what could be more intoxicating than two minds so perfectly, terrifyingly in sync? It’s a relationship where murder, manipulation, and unspoken devotion go hand in hand—and we wouldn’t have it any other way. 🖤

Hats off to Hannigram for being the ultimate runner-up, and for reminding us that love can be as beautiful as it is monstrous. This ship may not have taken the crown, but it has our hearts in its deadly grasp forever. 💀💕

Cheers to the killer chemistry of Hannigram! 🥂

Bronze:

🥉 Asheiji: A Tender and Timeless Love

(Ash Lynx x Eiji Okumura – Banana Fish) 🍌✨ Asheiji takes the spotlight! ✨🍌

Bronze goes to Ash Lynx and Eiji Okumura, who remind us that love can be both gentle and profound. Asheiji shares a bond that transcends words—it's a love that knows absolutely no limits. From their subtle touches to the emotional vulnerability they share, Ash and Eiji's relationship radiates a pure, heartfelt beauty. Their connection is super wholesome, filled with longing, mutual trust, and an unspoken love that breaks barriers and leaves a lasting impact. Their love is eternal, and the legacy of their ship lives on in our hearts. 🌸💫🌈 

the rest of the gays:

4th place: Renga (my newest ship!)

5th place: Scorbus (fluffiest!)

6th place: Destiel (1st ever slash ship!)

7th place: Drarry (2nd fave OTP in last place 😭 Aw well, their soulmate love is real/true in their world at least)

Final Ranking:

Renga (4.75 stars) – Deeply emotional and supportive where mutual admiration and personal growth define their close, semi-canon bond.

Book!Drarry (4.08 stars) – The ultimate “could-have-been” with palpable tension.

Hannigram (4.91 stars) – The ultimate psychological obsession.

Destiel (4.41 stars) – Finally canon but with some loose ends.

Asheiji (4.75 stars) – Profound, romantic connection marked by intense devotion and soul-deep love.

👑 Merthur (5 stars) – The devotion and unspoken romance are too deep to ignore. 🥳🎉

Scorbus (4.66 stars) – Emotionally intense, codependent relationship with strong romantic undertones.

Phew! That took almost a whole week. O-O Thanks for reading! =D I’d like to always update this list, so if you have any points to add, DM me & I'll see about incorporating it in! I recently updated this to where I rank based off of where the relationship left off in canon!

[copiouscouples]

Just an Off-Tangent Ramble

I really enjoyed season 2 especially in the first half. In my opinion, it’s better than season 1. What kept it from being a top-tier season for me was the absolute momentum killer of watching Edwina decide to crap or get off the pot. We didn’t need that. 

Then, there was also the lack of sexy times pay off. For some less thirsty than I, the garden scene hit the spot and to those people I say, congratulations for not being a thirsty hoe. But I needed all that passion and longing and pent-up frustration to culminate in a beautiful, passionate, romantic steamy scene. And it just didn’t happen.

My Theories as to Why Season 2 Had Sexy Times Slim Pickins:

The Powers That Be were trying to go a different direction and see if the audience would be ok with less sexy times. (We were not OK.)

The actors weren’t comfortable doing those type of scenes. That’s a valid reason. Just because you’re an actor doesn’t mean you should have to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

When it came to editing, the scenes didn’t look good and so were cut. I had heard that they’d filmed a lot of sexy time scenes that never made it into the show - if that’s true - not sure why. Nicola was talking about how they did the kissing scenes and what felt good didn’t always look the prettiest so maybe some of the Kanthony scenes didn’t meet the aesthetic.

When it comes to Jonathan Bailey, he is very boisterous and great at showing passion and humor. I was impressed with his physical humor in the falling in the water scene. That’s not an easy scene to do. He is the perfect pick for Anthony.

That said, he can only do roles like Anthony. I don’t think he could do a believable soft boy Colin like I don’t feel like Luke N could do an Anthony. They just bring different things to the table acting wise. And I’m glad for that diversity.

I feel like Luke has shown that you don’t have to yell to show passion and desire. You can communicate it in soft boy ways like looking longingly and following the girl you love around like a puppy dog and having a one-sided beef with another man.

And when Colin does yell, people pay attention. Eloise was so completely taken aback by his anger that she apologized like at two different points afterwards. I think that’s what is gonna make that one scene so 🔥 because he’s driven beyond his breaking point that he has to raise his voice.

Like we’re never going to get soft, earnest, endearing moments from Anthony. But we are for sure getting them from Colin. We got the “I want to tear your clothes off” (except they didn’t, BOO!) passion from Anthony and Kate. Now, we get the whole let’s be so besotted with each other that we go too far and then giggle afterwards. 

Kate and Anthony had angry, frustrated passion. Colin and Penelope have joyful passion.

The Colin and Penelope of it all just feels more real and authentic to how a lot of relationships are. I also kind of love the awkwardness of their new beginning.

And those steamy scenes! Season 3 has won hands down with just that carriage scene alone. It was so much better than anything we got in Season 2. I think a huge part of it is the willingness of the actors to be vulnerable and commit 100%. Nicola in particular especially.  Kissing and pretend humping is one thing, but boob touches/kisses. If I had a say, I would probably not let a fellow actor do those things. I’m glad she was OK with it because it made that scene HOT. 

And this is subjective, but they’re just pretty kissers. Their faces look good smooshed up next to each other. I really can’t explain why. (Please someone feel free to break down in a point by point explanation as to why their kisses look so good).

Season 2, realistically, could’ve been my favorite. I do love a brooding, angry caveman but something about the sweetness and earnestness of Polin. It’s winning me over as best season so far.

[thatcatsalem]

Sorcerer!Sukuna SFW Alphabet

Sukuna x Yuri (OC)

For the posts that are in the format of headcanons and such, “you” will be used as a method of storytelling. Outside of those, the main story will revert back to third person.

Let me know if you like it!

The art used for this picture is not mine and I am happy to credit the owner.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Sukuna is aggressively affectionate. He will grab your cheeks with his fingers and smoosh them together, stealing a kiss; he will twist your hair on his finger until it’s tangled and ready to pull; he will shove food in your mouth if you skip meals; and he will roll you in a blanket when it’s time to go to bed.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Sukuna would rather chew his own foot than ever confess that he even understands the concept of having a best friend. If he had to choose, he most likely would point to Kusakabe because he doesn’t hate him and enjoy chilling with him. Realistically speaking, he mostly spends time either with you, or with his brother. But he will genuinely crush anyone’s head that will dare to presume that his best friend is his brother. He isn’t a loser.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He gets hot very easily and doesn’t really like overheating. But you run surprisingly cold and he welcomes the soothing coolness of your skin. If he is cuddling, he is a big spoon or he is sprawled on his stomach and has one hand over your waist.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Never wanted to settle down but it happened when you bulldozered yourself into his life. It happened to unexpectedly that he didn’t even hesitate signing a lease for their new house.

He isn’t great at cooking anything other than steak. He likes his food incredibly spicy and was relieved when he found out that you do as well. You both have a whole cabinet dedicated to alphabetized rows of hot sauce.

He prefers to split the chores overall, but absolutely loathes doing dishes and splashed out on an industrial style dishwasher to avoid doing it by hand. He likes to iron.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?”)

Would attempt to do it over the phone to avoid emotional responsibility. Might even fake his death or something equally bizzare.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He is married within ten months of dating you because he decided it was the best way of ensuring you won’t really go anywhere. He later realised that it was your plan all along and fell for you even harder.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He tries? Doesn’t always succeed. He has an emotional range of a table but he attempts to get more in tune with his feelings to suppress his rage; he meditates a lot. Even though he didn’t grow up with any particular belief, he practices Buddhism to ground himself.

Physically speaking, he is not very gentle and has to remind himself that some people just physically cannot withstand his strength. He once chest bumped Inumaki as a joke and sent a boy flying into a building.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?

It is a weird hate and love relationship. He will hug you out of nowhere, like a cat that decided that moons have aligned and it is permitted to touch him, but usually you are the one who has to initiate. But unlike a lot of people, you don’t actually require that much of physical touch to be close to him, so Sukuna himself gets a bit touchy.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Doesn’t say it but shows it. He will not hesitate to confirm that he loves you if someone asks but won’t ever initiate it.

“Awww, Sukuna loves his girlfriend!” Yuji beamed at his brother when he saw that Sukuna has a picture of his girlfriend with a glass of wine on his Home Screen.

“Yeah, and what of it?” he shoots him a look, “go and run another lap.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Homicidal rage. Not much explanation needed, but…

Sukuna found her quite alluring at first, but was taken back but how hostile she was to male attention.

“Haven’t seen you here before,” he attempted to start conversation, mostly thinking with his groin.

“Do you often look at women’s faces or you usually check their asses through the mirror?” she replies with indifference, but shoots him a look. He blinks.

You hook up in less than two weeks during your mission together, and it is so good that Sukuna wakes up alone, wallowing in disappointment. As it turned out, you were the one who fucked him, not the other way around. They later form a very short-lived (three weeks and two days) beneficial relationship that almost immediately falls apart when Sukuna beats a potential suitor of yours half to death in a possessive streak. You start dating the next day.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

So passionate that he is almost aggressive. He likes to kiss behind the ear and on your collarbones, playfully biting and leaving marks.

He practically melts when you kiss his neck and he will never confess that he likes when you kiss his forehead or top of his head.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Not great but he tries. He finds kids noisy and annoying but he did have to pretty much raise Yuji so he mostly is just not into the idea of babysitter.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Working out. He mediates in the morning and then hits the gym. It takes a lot of convincing but you eventually agree to join him at the crack of dawn and regret it instantly. Not only is Sukuna a true gym rat, he is also a ruthless PT, and will not allow to skip a workout.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

During the busy season, Sukuna takes night missions and sleeps in the afternoon so you have to adapt to his routine if you even want to see him. Like for him, you are a night owl and usually are still awake when he gets home. On the days where you too tired to wait, he will find you sprawled out on the couch, waiting for him.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Not by choice. You are perceptive and started hammering him down early in the relationship. He doesn’t have much choice but to open up to you, but he does it with a lot of reluctance. He sometimes says something so shocking and traumatic about his past in such a nonchalant voice that it is hard to take him seriously.

Trust me, he is not joking.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Anger is a second nature for Sukuna. He is aggressive and brash, and will lash out on anything and everything. That is why he meditates every morning.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He actually remembers a lot but will act like it’s not a big deal. Yes, he remembers your favourite SpiderMan (it’s a tie between Madame Web and Spider-Punk), he remembers your favorite constellation (Auriga). He will remember your favorite foods and how you like your coffee, but will get flustered and defensive if it’s pointed out to him.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

“Be careful,” he snorts when she wraps the handmade scarf around his neck, “or I will marry you right here.”

“The council building is an hour away,” Yuri glanced at her watch, “if we go now, we can get there on time and we can fill in the digital paperwork on the way there so maybe we can be married in… five hours, accounting for the wait.”

She steps back.

“That is probably the earliest it can happen.”

Sukuna stares at her.

“I need to get my passport from home,” he says calmly, but he hates the facts there is a certain vulnerability in his voice, “so we could go tomorrow… if you would like.”

Yuri looks at him and stands up a little to plant a small kiss on his cheek.

“Sounds good.”

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He does it without much thinking. Protecting Yuji is a second nature to him, as well as his incompetent friends; but with you it is not as simple as you are a well-known sorceress and are famous for your vicious techniques. He enjoys having a powerful and strong partner and it is one of his bragging rights. On a rare occasion you get injured or beaten up, he obliterates everything in his sight.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Fairly minimal but does like going somewhere nice during important dates. He will give you a gift and will treat you to a nice meal but he will not decorate the house in balloons (you would kill him), and doesn’t proclaim his undying love for you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

His inability to accept that his past was not his fault and his unyielding need to be viewed strong as it is the only trait he is familiar with, and his crippling defensiveness of his own emotional unavailability.

Oh, and he smokes quite a lot.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He enjoys going to gym and getting a few pictures in the mirror after seeing the pump. He will absolutely send those to you and will hold his t-shirt edge in his teeth to show off his abs.

He likes his tattoos and is not afraid of showing them off.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

It’s a complicated question and Sukuna doesn’t feel like considering it too deeply. He is his own person and the idea of two halves of one soul is alien to him.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

If you would have to search him, you would always find those things on him: wallet with small picture of Yuji licking an ice cream and picture of Yuri on their first date, wrinkled yens, cinnamon flavored gum, a pack of cigarettes, a vintage gas lighter with his initials, Yuris black lipstick, hand sanitizer, keys with attached figurine of spider, a bag of half eaten wasabi pea and his gym pass.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He fucking hates when people are obnoxiously loud in public spaces. He will turn around and bark at a group of teenage girl to pipe down in this cat cafe.

He also doesn’t like weakness. He finds it pathetic in every aspect; even if it is emotional vulnerability. You suggested that therapy would help with that and he did not speak to you for a day.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He is a really heavy sleeper. Like coma like but he will wake up as soon as his alarm will go off. He once slept through an earthquake and Yuji had to shake him into consciousness.

[iridesca-conjurecraft]

Hello! I hope all is well with you. I've become interested in spirit keeping and spirit work recently, and I noticed that spirits can be purchased on Etsy? Maybe that's not the right way to phrase it, but essentially you can adopt a spirit and the seller binds them to you (or an object.) Is this legit? I was hoping to purchase one but I really don't want to end up wasting money. The seller in question has like 1000 positive reviews.

Thank you for your time!

Hello!

So as far as "spirit keeping" i generally dont use this term do to its original negative connotations versus "spirit work". As spirits do not need to be "kept" if that makes sense?

And spirit shops are a legit thing. As a retired spirit shop owner. Some practioners use discord but others use etsy or any other e-commerce platform.

When you want to adopt a spirit, the seller usually does a ritual that binds them to you or an object, aka "vessels" normally this requires the consent of the spirit itself. Alot of spirit shops have to go through a lengthy process of "vetting" a spirit throughout a certain time span to make sure that spirit is who they say they are before even getting to the pairing process.

I believe i touch more on those topics HERE and HERE

But as far as etsy goes and any other shop the only advice i can give is to check the reviews (which youve already done) BUT ALSO look at the particular listings.

Some things to think about (potential red flags) when looking at the shop are: ⬇️

What species of spirits do they have? Are they selling entites of a closed species from closed cultures? (species from closed cultures are not to be messed with. Theyre closed for a reason)

Are they selling entities that are classified as children? If so i would avoid at all costs.

Are the prices reasonable? Personally i wouldnt pay for a vessel that costs over $200+ depending on the spirit and any exlcusive add-on packages the seller offers

Do they they have a multitude of the same species that looks like theyre being mass produced? Spirit conjuring takes alot of energy and is not easy. The likelyhood of a person housing a 1000 spirits at a time is not realistic. Ex: Sanguine Vampires and the product says that have a 100.

Do the profile prompts look copied and pasted? Does the information look the same but just reworded differently? No spirit is one in the same.

Does the species abilites look to good to be true? Ex: Spirits CANNOT heal you/alter or interfere with any form of your health physically or mentally. They cannot cure physical sickness. Most can only aleviate and heal energetic pain or most likely provide energy rebalancing, and aid in specific forms of magic.

Whats their binding ritual like? Do they provide any information about their vetting and binding processes? Are they transparent and professional when interacting with potential clients? (ime i would let the spirit form a bond with a client or object naturally as i always felt the bond was much stronger vs. an artifical binding)

But this is just a short list of things to look out for. Its really up to you to decide if your ready for a spirit companion. Personally i wouldnt recommend getting one until a deep dive of research is done. Especially considering of what type of entity you want to interact with.

Assuming you might be a beginner i usually recommend local elemental spirits as i find theyre the easiest to work with.

[steveinscarlet]

Another vintage Kerrang article for your delectation. This one is loooong. Text below the cut...

THEY'RE ALL concerned and they all want answers. Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, hauling ass down Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, in a sparkling silver Corvette, certainly does. So does Blackfoot mainspring Ricky Medlocke, a recent unexpected apparition within the Marquee's glistening vaults. So does just about everyone I've met in the course of recent field-trips. They're all wearing that 'there but for the grace of God' look and they all want to know. So do I...

"Every time you speak to Rick on the phone you come away with a big grin on your face because he's in such good spirits. He's handling it better than I thought he would. He's matured 10 years overnight. He's totally accepted the fact that he's only got one arm and he's being very realistic about coming back into Def Leppard. He's mad to go for it, though, and we're mad to let him try."

That drummer Rick Allen will try, however, isn't in doubt. He's adamant about it and Leppard vocalist Joe Elliott is equally adamant that the band will give him their unrestrained support. As they've said all along, the decision is totally his "We aren't trying to show off or get sympathy," spells out Joe, "it's just the way we are. Def Leppard is simply five lads - we could have been a football team, we could have been international bank robbers. Rick's a mate, and just because he's had an accident doesn't mean he can't still be in the band. If he physically can't do it then obviously there's going to be problems, but with the technology available today I don't see why he can't play snare drum with his left foot, say. And if he can do that, and maybe have tom tom fills already recorded on a trigger, then the kit would look exactly the same. "Bill Ludwig, who builds Rick's kits, actually got in touch with him as soon as it happened, and it seems that there's a lot of one-arm drummers, guys who came back from Vietnam, y'know. The thing is, they tend to play Holiday Inns and places that like that; it's a different approach to drumming. Rick has a very John Bonhamish style - I mean, the quy doesn't need monitors, he's ridiculously loud! - and he'd never be able to do with one hand what he did with two for an hour and three quarters. It would kill him! So he's gonna need the technology. It's just down to whether he can accept the fact that there are gonna be people in the crowd trying to peer through the cymbals to see a plastic arm. He'll have to wear a shirt now, whereas before he'd always go bare-topped..."

THE DETAILS of the car crash that removed 21- year-old Rick (temporarily at least) from the Leppard ranks have been pretty well documented, grabbing column inches in the Nationals and beyond. The bare facts seem plain enough: at 12.50pm on New Year's Eve, while driving his Corvette along the A57 from Sheffield to his parents home in Dronfield (Derbyshire), Rick was involved in an incident which sent his car spinning out of control, turning over several times, injuring his female passenger and removing his left arm in the process. He remembers what happened vividly, and really can count himself fortunate to be alive. When the debris from the accident was examined it was found that the top half of the steering wheel had been bent back, Rick's particular power clearly preventing the steering column and dashboard from crushing against his chest. But why did it happen?

Picking through the events with Elliott it soon becomes obvious that the whole story is a little more complex than yer typical life-in-the-fast-lane pile up. Think about it...

When you're young and successful, with a streamlined US car and a female companion to match, it can sometimes sting the nasal membrane of the folks you've abandoned to a dole queue existence in your humdrum hometown rut. People have been known to glow green with jealousy, and on New Year's Eve people have been known to take a drink. Sometimes even a life...

"Yeah," says Joe quietly. "There was another car involved in the accident."

Mucking Rick around, you mean?

"That's right. But the people have denied it and there's nothing we can do. The coppers have interviewed them but it's no good I'd love to go round and kill 'em!"

Joe takes a moment to collect his thoughts, then continues... "The arm was placed in a bucket of ice gathered from all the houses nearby and Rick was in hospital (the Royal Hallamshire) within 19 minutes, which is unbelievable. He underwent an 11-hour operation; his arm was back on by ten to one the following morning, but infection set in and after three days they had to take it off.

"His nerves are still alive, though. They've got them wrapped up like spaghetti, and it's possible to have them connected up in a way that can give movement to a prosthetic arm. So the Steve Austin 'Six Million Dollar Man' thing is not beyond the realms of possibility one day. Rick still feels his arm because of the nerves."

When did you hear what had happened?

"I heard at about ten to four the same afternoon and I couldn't believe it. I cried like a baby for about three hours - my face was hurting. Peter (Mensch, manager) rang and said, 'Rick's had an accident, his arm's off, but they've sown it back on'. I've heard of that working before but unfortunately it was torn off, not cut off, so everything snapped and stretched in different places, which made it more difficult."

How soon after the accident did you visit Rick in hospital?

"I saw him two days after it happened... it was the worst experience I've ever had... but he was walking a week earlier than expected and telling the nurses to f**k off after three days because he was fed up having his bandages changed. He sounds in fine form now and wants to get back; drumming's all he's ever done, and he's done it very well."

"It's just up to him if he can stand the strain. I mean, he's going to go through some crap. He's not had it yet, but he's gonna suffer from depression; bad depression. He's being very realistic about it, though. He said to me, 'When it comes, it comes.' He wants to come out here to Holland but he knows he can't."

Presumably he won't be ready to play a part on the forthcoming tour?

"No, and he knows that. Somebody will guest with us until we know the result of Rick's convalescence." Would you consider using two drummers on any subsequent tours?

"Possibly, yeah, and Rick could do specific bits. We've definitely thought about that, but he's got a lot to learn first. I mean, there's certain things that are now a fact of life. If Rick wants to wear baseball boots, for example, he's gonna have to wear Velcro ones. And he's probably gonna need press-stud trousers. He's got to learn to bath himself even..."

"The thing is, at the moment his right arm doesn't work. The ball is smashed so they've had to pin it. He's got a six inch pin as big as a poker in there. Imagine if your elbow was sown to your hip; well that's all the movement he's got. I guess he's a bit of a mess, though mentally he's the best he's ever been."

What would happen if Rick returned to the band yet clearly wasn't cutting it? Would you have to tell him? "No, because he'd know himself. He's said that to me on the phone. He's being realistic- if he can't do it he can't, but he's definitely gonna try. There'll come a time when Rick will say, I'm ready, and we'll get together in a rehearsal room for a month and see what he does. He'll either turn round and go

'Yes!' and we'll go 'Yes!', or else he'll say 'Sorry, I'm not coping with it.'

"The important thing is that he tries, otherwise he'll never know, and that would be awful. I know he'd rather fail than not try at all. Besides, it's no big secret that we use drum machines on the records so, whatever happens, he could still be involved on that side. We would just take a session drummer out on the road."

"At the moment, we're trying not to get too depressed about the whole situation, but we were mega-depressed at first. I was in a real state, like a zombie for five hours, and for quite a time after I just didn't want to get into a car. I know it's daft, but it's true

A BONHAM of the biscuit tins, a Titan of the tupperware, since the age of 11 Rick Allen has thought of little outside of drums and drumming. At the moment he's at home, probably watching Cheech & Chong videos on the new system bought for him by Phonogram Records. But chances are that his thoughts are elsewhere, no doubt wafting with the music around the booths and corridors of Wisseloord Studios near Amsterdam, Holland, where Leppard are recording their fourth, as yet untitled, LP. As always, he's with his colleagues 110 per cent (for now it can be in spirit only), a continued commitment that should spur him on through the tough weeks and numerous hospital visits ahead.

Prior to the accident, he'd laid the groundwork for eight backing tracks, and the remaining two songs on the album were always destined to feature a less human touch, the band specifically wanting a more clinical punch, so there's no problem on that front. As for his work on backing vocals, well, Elliott can easily deputise in that department, leaving Rick free to concentrate on the speediest recovery possible and, as Elliott puts it, "Learn to live again. He's having all these drums built and a special car designed, all sorts of stuff..."

All things considered, '84 certainly wasn't an easy year for Def Leppard, a rude awakening for an almost unbroken streak of good fortune. First longstanding associate 'Mutt' Lange proved unable to produce the new LP, likewise his replacement Jim Steinman (though for different reasons - read on!), and then came The Accident, which instantly eclipsed all previous hassles, reducing apparent mountains of doom and dismay to easily skirted molehills. But, if anything, adversity has caused the four active members of the Leppard clan to virtually graft respective beaks to the grindstone in a collective consummate effort to make their next album their best.

The band's first LP, 'On Through The Night', produced by (Colonel) Tom Allom, took a mere 18 days to record and remains something of an embarrassment in Elliott's eyes (someday he'd like to remix it and touch up a few of the vocal parts), while the second, 'High 'N' Dry', with Lange now at the helm, was laid down in three and a half months, including a month's pre-production, bang, bang, bang, 'Mutt' clearly wanting to capture the excitement generated by these 21-year-old 'let's go for its'. But 'Pyromania' now that was a different story, with band and producer (Lange again) making a conscious decision at the outset to pin back the ears of a generation with something of genuine lasting quality; an attempt to update the glories of Queen's 'Sheer Heart Attack' and 'Night At The Opera' LPs...

They went for it in a big way and 10 months later came up trumps, creating a slice of history that many have doubted they'll be able to top; an album that left the whole of the music industry wide-eyed and open-mouthed, and caused bands both big and small to almost instantly re-assess their directions and aims. A (hard) labour of love still selling around a thousand a week, it broke taboos and set fresh standards right down the line.

"Hopefully, it'll be an Heavy Metal 'Sergeant Pepper...'," says Elliott, "who knows, but we've got to do more. It'd be tragic if our best album was our third and we end up doing 17 LPs."

Whatever the next album sounds like, however, Joe's convinced that it's gonna be slated by the press. He's resigned himself to the fact (not having heard the record beyond a few notes ricocheting out of the studio doors, I really can't comment), but, along with bassist Rick Savage and guitarists Steve Clark/Phil Collen, he's ploughing on regardless, helping to create something different to 'Pyromania' in content yet as good, if not better, overall.

"Since 'Pyromania' we're two years on technically," he explains. "The Fairlights are better, the keyboards are better and the microphones are better. And we're two years more experienced, of course. Actually, we keep putting on 'Pyromania' and listening to it back-to-back with what we've done; you have to imagine it without the mix, but it's definitely up there to my ears."

JOE ELLIOTT leans forward in the chair, tucks a fold of his rather battered dressing gown tight against private parts and pours himself another glass of one cal Coke. This for the moment is home, and has been since the middle of August: a simple hotel room in Holland ten minutes drive from the studio complex. Originally, the band were due to play the 'Mick Wall Festival' in Rio, but they eventually decided against it on grounds of not wanting to interrupt recording. So while certain jammy so-and-so's were sunning themselves on the Copacabana sands (maaaan!!), Elliott and co, tax exiles all, were trudging across frozen lakes, wrapped up tight against temperatures of 25° below! Still, there's always next year And if nothing else, in their present position the four are conveniently cut off from all domestic distractions. Through the hotel room window I can see Dirk, Elliott's treasured Renault 12 (and centrespread star of Kerrang! 79), basking quietly in the hazy sunlight, the central motif on an idyllic pastel canvas shaded only by the distant foghorn fuming of an adrenalised Peter Mensch. Somewhere, behind closed doors, he's informing an unfortunate Halfin that a five-piece outfit close to the latter's wallet have been 'stiffing' horribly in the South, and he doesn't mean Torquay! Let's just say he's on form...

Later, on the flight back to London, having persuaded Mensch to fund my purchase of a duty free Sony Walkman in tasteful pink, I tentatively suggest that the forthcoming Leppard biography should be titled 'Me & My Whine'...

"OH, YEAH, DAAAN-TAY!!" he snaps, blood vessels popping like balloons, "AND HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO THINK THAT ONE UP???"

Back to business...

"We've always upheld the theory," theorises Joe as things quieten down, "that we don't want to put out a record every nine months. We'd much rather put out a record every two to three years that's of real good quality

"When we started this album 'Mutt' was involved; we did pre-production with him in Dublin, Ireland, which is why we've put him down again on the songwriting credits. It's an honesty thing with us. He doesn't write anything as such; the six of us just sit round a table with a piece of paper in front of us and guitars turned down really low, then whoever chucks in an idea - be it Rick or 'Sav' or me or 'Mutt' - we play with it."

"Steve, for example, will come up with an idea and 'Mutt' will say, 'Change that round', 'Use this', 'Do it in another key', ' or whatever. It just creases me up to think that there are some people out there who look at us and say, 'Ha! They can't write their own songs', which isn't true at all. And even if it was, I'd much rather be involved with an album that sold six million copies co-written with a producer than one that sold 200,000 copies that wasn't."

Surely helping with the arrangements and so on is part of a producer's job, though "Yeah, right, but it's almost as if it's some kind of crime to let your producer be involved. That's what a producer's there for - to kick you up the arse and bring out the best that you can do. We encourage 'Mutt' to be involved and we repay him by sticking his name on the songwriting credits. Who cares! It's only a bloody song anyway..."

Isn't it true, though, that a lot of producers are really just glorified engineers and can't make the extra step up to that level of involvement?

"Yes, that is true, but 'Mutt's an exception anway because the guy's a musician, he's been an engineer since he left school - he's been doing it for 17 years and he's only in his early thirties now and he's also a brilliant singer and great songwriter, so you've got everything going for you! Whereas an engineer will be able to tell you if something's out of tune, 'Mutt' can go further than that and say, 'It doesn't feel right' or 'Sing it this way, shape your mouth like this, let's alter the phrasing'. "With most engineers, if it's in tune and it's what you want then it's a take, and that's all their job is, because if it's that way round it's normally the band who are producing, the way we are with this album. I noticed in Kerrang! it implied that Nigel Green is now producing – he's not, we are. Nigel's assisting." "Actually, he's worked with us on our last two albums, though not as main engineer. Mike Shipley was always our main engineer. Nigel's as good as Mike, it's just that at the time he was involved in other projects; so when Mike took a holiday or went to the dentist Nigel would come in. We've never worked with him on a long term basis before but we do know him."

What happened with 'Mutt' Lange, though? As I understand it, he originally agreed to produce the album as well as help out on pre-production...

"Yeah. In fact, he was still going to do it last February. We started with pre-production, as you've mentioned, but it soon became obvious that 'Mutt' was in no state to see the whole thing through. The Cars' album ('Heartbeat City') nearly killed him; our last album nearly killed him, and the Foreigner record ('IV') the same. I think he's just reached the stage now where to attain certain standards you're talking about grafting for a long time."

"The way we worked on 'Pyromania', for example, we were doing 20 hour days and the guy was sleeping on the couch in the control room. You just can't do that forever, so for the sake of his health he made a wise decision not to do our album. At the time, we were panicking; we thought, 'Oh, Christ!', cos things had all been planned. It wasn't a case of us being afraid of what the album would sound like if 'Mutt' wasn't there, it was simply the availability of other producers that we were concerned about. With top people like Ted Templeman, Mike Stone or Trevor Horn, you've got to book 'em years in advance, you can't just get in touch two weeks before you want to start..."

"Actually, we did approach Templeman just to see how much he wanted, and I don't think he was too keen to do it; he put in such a ridiculous money offer that no band in the world would have accepted it! But then we really wanted somebody a bit different, anyhow. We were interested in the people I've already mentioned initially because we thought, well, these are the names that we've listened to, Bob Ezrin, y'know. But then we started to think about people like Alex Sadkin, who we found was doing the new Foreigner album ('Agent Provocateur'). Trevor Horn would have worked with us in England, but Chris Thomas (Roxy Music, Procol Harum) turned us down flat - he obviously doesn't like us. We actually tried to get Phil Collins, who was interested but tied up with the latest Clapton LP ('Behind The Sun')."

So you were looking at people outside the world of heavy rock...

"Yeah, we were looking at up and coming producers like Terry Manning, who's engineered for ZZ Top, and Steve Lillywhite, who's yet to do a hard rock album but possibly could do a good one. Some of us were interested in him, some of us weren't. I like the fullness of Simple Minds' 'Sparkle In The Rain' LP, it's brill, but sounds are really no problem for us now, we can get good sounds; the thing we always like to have is musical input, and that's where we thought Steinman would come into his own. I mean, the guy's a good songwriter and he's had a hell of a lot of success with what he does."

He worked on the last Billy Squier album, 'Signs Of Life', with Tony Platt, didn't he?

"Yeah, well, he 'navigated' it is what Squier says. We thought, OK, we'll get the sounds and let him do the producing, but it turned out that Jim wasn't really what any of us thought he would be. In fact, I wonder how he's ever got a production credit on anything - especially with Squier, the kind of ego he's got. I can't understand why he even let Steinman's name appear on his album cos we're not putting it on ours."

What was the problem with Steinman then?

"Ahh... I wouldn't be lying if I said that you could have done it as well. I mean that. The guy just sat there reading 'Country Life' all day and going, 'Yeah, yeah, that sounds good', when it plainly wasn't. He's simply not used to recording the way we record. When we said, 'Listen, this is the way we work, you'd better get used to it', he tried and he couldn't. He just could not hear if something was wrong."

Were your standards too exacting for him, do you think?

"Possibly, yeah. It sounds strange to say that, though, cos to me those standards are normal. Doing 'Pyromania' was like going to college; I've grown up listening to things a certain way. As far as I'm concerned, getting the timing, the tuning and the feel spot on is the usual way to work, but Jim Steinman for all his reputation - could not hear it."

"After a while, we just thought, well, this is silly, we're wasting our time and money and wasting his time, though we weren't too bothered about that cos he wasn't too bothered about the project. I honestly don't think he was doing it for any reason other than credibility in the States. "We'd say, 'Right, we start at 12', and he'd wander in at 3.30. We'd stay till 12 or one in the morning, then he'd go back to his hotel and start writing songs for his own future projects, and he'd be up till nine o'clock doing that. So when he finally got round to us, he'd only had five hours sleep. he wasn't there half the time. I mean, he was there in body but not in mind. We found more and more that we were doing the work, which was fine, we didn't mind doing it, we just thought, why the hell should we be giving this guy so many points and so many dollars to sit there reading 'Country Life'!"

So how much did you manage to accomplish with Steinman?

"We did about eight backing tracks and scrapped them; almost everything has been done again. And even the things that went down were our decision Steinman never overruled us on anything. If he said a certain take was good and we said it was bad, we'd do it again."

Who was actually getting the sounds at this stage?

"Us and Neil Dorfsman, Steinman's engineer. He was good, actually, cos he was doing all the work. Jim was the ears of the partnership, but the ears were plugged up, I think..."

"Y'know, it annoys me intensely when a producer walks into a control room and says, "This carpet has got to go!' Sod the desk, that's not important. An SSL desk, 150,000 quid's worth of equipment, and the carpet's got to go! He even had the carpet changed in his hotel room. The guy was living in a suite while we were happy in rooms with a fridge and a cooker. Obviously, we paid for it all..."

"And the food! He went out to the North of Holland and had a 12 course meal! Which is fine, that's his personality, but when somebody walks into a studio and says the carpet has got to go... if I'd been there I'd have decked him. Seriously. Who gives a flying s**t what the carpet looks like!"

How long did Steinman last, then?

"Oh, we dumped Jim about November, we gave him a fair chance. We thought, well, alright, we're doing the spadework, what he might consider the boring side of the album, let's see what he's like on vocals, maybe that's his strongpoint. He did tell us that he spent something like five weeks trying to get Meat Loaf to sing one line, so we thought, OK, the guy's definitely got stamina."

"But when it came to doing vocals with me, it was exactly the same situation as with the backing tracks - everything was my decision. He'd say, 'Yeah, that's good', and I'd go, 'Jim, it's f**king useless!' I'd run out of breath at the end of a line cos I wasn't quite familiar with what I was singing, and he'd say, 'It's got a bit of feel'. Isn't that pathetic?!"

"I mean, Steve and Phil wanted to get rid of him two weeks after he was here. But I just kept saying, 'Give the guy a chance, blah, blah, blah' made meself look a right arsehole. But it was only fair to let him get to the vocal stage of things."

"Anyway, when Steinman went we all sat down and asked Mensch to sort out which other producers were available. We put down everybody we thought might be good. Mike Shipley couldn't do it cos he was off co-producing the new Loverboy album, so we just suggested Nigel. We were doing a better job than Steinman, so we thought, well, what's the point getting in another producer? We send 'Mutt' the odd tape now and then and he sends it back saying, 'It sounds brilliant to me', which shows that we can do it, so we are."

Has having Phil Collen involved from the start of this album (he became a Leppard member during the recording of 'Pyromania', replacing guitarist Pete Willis) made things different in any way?

"Yeah, it means that the songwriting's changed a little; Phil's input is better than Pete's ever was. Steve will always be the major songwriter, I think, but he's really encouraged Phil a lot. He doesn't just sit down and say, 'I want to write all the songs', stuff like that. In fact, everything that Steve's written, he's written with Phil in the same room... Phil's probably involved in eight of the 10 songs on the album."

And what about 'Sav'? He writes too, doesn't he?

"Yeah, but 'Sav's weird; I can't get to grips with him sometimes. More than anyone else in this band he likes your Journeys and your Bryan Adams, occasionally even the odd Duran Duran song, yet he was the one who came up with 'Stagefright' and 'No No No'. And on this new album he's got a number called 'Ring Of Fire' - not a cover of the famous Johnny Cash song! which is an uptempo, thrash, crash, Metal job. He just never writes like the people he listens to."

Will Steve and Phil be sharing the guitar breaks on the new LP?

"Oh yeah, 50/50, right down the middle. Actually, they argue about who's gonna do 'em; not in the sense of, 'I wanna do this', but Phil's telling Steve that he should do a certain solo and Steve's saying, 'No you do it, it's more up your street'. I remember hearing stories about KK (Downing) and Glenn (Tipton) from Priest not talking to each other for four months at a time, but it's the other way round with Steve and Phil. The only thing they argue about is who's gonna buy the drinks!"

What about you, though? You play a bit of guitar...

"Badly!"

...have you written anything on the new record?

"Er... I did come up with some stuff but I don't think it got used. I wrote little bits on the last album, but my main worry is obviously melodies, lyrics and vocals."

"Sometimes, though, we'll have a vocal line and work the backing around that. We've got this one new song, 'Armageddon It', which is Piltdown, just two chords all the way through; it's based around a tongue-in-cheek vocal thing."

Is it a 'Rock Of Ages' type number?

"I suppose it is a bit, yeah. The vocals come out from all over the place once it gets going. It's just a totally stupid lyric... like 'Rock Of Ages', just a piss-take of ourselves, though not mocking the fans in any way."

"And then there's 'Ring Of Fire', which I've already mentioned. It's actually about an Indian meal, the day after, but nobody would ever know that... well, they will now!"

When you're writing lyrics, do you ever think about how the song will work live?

"Not really, no. Obviously, a number like 'Rock Till You Drop' is a stage song, and the same with 'Stagefright', but I've never consciously sat down and thought, well, I'd better come up with two songs about 'Rock This Place To The Ground', or whatever, and one meaningful one about Vietnam, and another about a vigilante in New York. They just turn out that way. You do it in moods. I was probably watching something about Vietnam on TV and 'Die Hard The Hunter' (from the 'Pyromania' LP) came out, and I'd probably been to see 'Deathwish' when I wrote 'Billy's Got A Gun' (also on 'Pyromania'). I can't remember, I just do it."

"I actually wrote 'Photograph' (ditto) while I was sitting on the bog. I was stuck for a chorus and I had a picture of Marilyn Monroe staring me in the face... Bob's your uncle!"

When you made the decision to go for something extra with the 'Pyromania' album, were you confident that you could pull it off?

"We were confident, yeah, very confident, because 'Mutt' was producing. We just had so much faith in the guy and in return he had total confidence in what we were doing. We didn't see how we could go wrong, though Mensch was tearing his hair out when we were nearly a million pounds in debt and the record company were drumming their fingers waiting. I think we had to sell 1.2 million copies of 'Pyromania' to break even, we were in a real big mess..."

"I mean, I nearly had a nervous breakdown, I just couldn't handle it. I was going through so much crap towards the end - do it again, do it again... I got what a lot of singers get, 'Lastitis', which comes from the pressure of finishing. We went through a lot of hell on that record..."

Including, of course, the slightly wobbly exit of young Mr Willis...

"Yeah, but in all honesty I think that did us more good than anything. The thing is, you sometimes take situations for granted and then all of a sudden something like that happens and it's like, wow, it's different, there's only four of us, he's gone, really gone. I mean, Phil joined the day after, but then he almost joined back in '81."

"I tried to get him cos we were having trouble with Willis in America. I rang Phil up and said, 'Can you learn 16 songs in two days?' He said, 'I'll try', but that was just totally out of desperation, there's no way he could have done it. However, when Pete started to act in the studio like he did on tour, which was making Keith Moon look like a bloody vicar, it was time for him to go."

Why doesn't he get some help?

"Well, I think he's beyond help, to tell the truth. He doesn't even realise he needs it, he doesn't accept he's got a problem, though the guy's been in hospital twice as a result of drink and drugs. He had a collapsed liver or something, and epileptic fits, God knows what."

That hasn't happened to the rest of you, though, and you're all the same age, you've all worked your way up together...

"No, it's just him. Pete's always had something to prove, y'see, probably because he's a midget. The guy thought he was 10 feet tall when he was pissed and he'd be taking on people as big as you it didn't work. He was like a gigantic ball and chain around our ankles..."

THE LATEST whisper on Willis is that he's currently swanning around the environs of Sheffield, complete with Rolls Royce and minder, recounting tales of some hush-hush supergroup he might be throwing in his frets with. Elliott finds it hard to take the whole thing seriously, and I think it's fair to say that the recording of album number four is proceeding all the smoother for the wee man's absence.

Already, a number of lead vocals are complete, and the band (employing two studios simultaneously) are steadily piecing together their ten new songs, ready to convince a waiting world that Life After 'Pyromania' does exist.

So what's on the boil? Well, in no particular order, there's 'Armageddon It' and 'Ring Of Fire', already mentioned, 'Excitable', 'Gods Of War', 'Fractured Love', 'Don't Shoot The Shotgun' (Stonesy, I'm assured), 'Animal', 'Love Bites' (a ballad), 'Run Riot' and the enticingly handled 'Women', all proudly produced by the Leppard members themselves, who, without the invaluable 'Mutt' Marten to administer the prods, are taking great and serious pleasure in booting each other up the bum! "Actually, I never envisaged us producing ourselves," admits Joe, "I thought it might be the one thing that would lead to us falling out. It's always been dead important to us that Leppard is a friends situation; we want to keep the element of why we started. Five mates who can still go into the same bar and look each other in the face after seven years. Happily, that's the way it's remained, and producing ourselves is working really well..."

The new album, which now looks set to be mixed by Lange in the UK, an added bonus, should be available by August, after which the band plan to tear up the tarmac on a world tour of, well... y'know. The idea, it seems, is to blow away the studio cobwebs with about eight shows in Ireland, some in smaller places, then steer a course for the UK, perhaps for a September stint (the British dates have already been put back four times!) of 20 or so gigs. A headline appearance at Wembley Arena isn't too far off for the boys, according to Queen's Brian May, a staunch Leppard supporter, but this time around I reckon they'll settle for something a little more cosy.

Next tour, though Europe too seems odds on to cop a visit, particularly as 'Pyromania' has now shifted over 100,000 copies in France and is making a late burst for the tape in Scandinavia as well. Business in Germany, however, remains a little slow, and as for Holland... well, now we're talking about a massive 639 units shifted. Still, at least it means the band don't have to worry about being recognised. Def what?!

By December Leppard should be into America, after which it's likely they'll travel to Japan, though probably not Australia, that stage of the tour having lost them around 60 grand last Feb. Indeed, all in all, their schedule will be less arduous than last time, including more days off to recover and recharge. The band should certainly feel healthier as a result, but then with the Rick Allen episode having shocked the Leppard camp into a highly body-conscious state, that's the way things are heading anyway "I don't want to waste away and vegetate," explains Joe. "I'm 25, I'm supposed to be at the peak of my fitness; I'm supposed to be Glenn Hoddle but I wasn't. I'd run a mile and be out of breath. Now I can run a six minute mile, no trouble, and I do half an hour's worth of exercises every day. 'Sav', Phil and myself all go jogging too - we take less for granted now than we did before..."