#like then WTF do you do. if the spotlight shines on you again. then what do you do?

[vinylyuri]

lowkey page is such an awesome role....like at least from jake and tavros' perspectives, i really like the concept of Hey your own character isn't going to be fully realised within the scope of the world you exist in. and so any "post-canon" works get to play on this concept however they wish (sorry tavros). like imagine getting a nametag that says "sorry but we don't have time for you right now. go to fanfic websites if you want to feel like a fully-complete person". lowkey awesome

[jacklynjournal]

Can we put Nagireo aside for a bit?

I'm gonna be honest, this is just me ranting about Blue Lock because I'm bitter about characters being left in the dust. I'm probably not the first one to do this, nor will I be the last, but if ya wanna read and talk about it, I'm open to discussion. This isn't a Nagireo hate post, I could never. This is just me wanting to see more characters in the spotlight for more than 5 chapters, ya'know? (Note: When referring to Nagireo, I mean it both as their individual characters and in a relationship/shipping sense) Anyways, enjoy my rambling~~! ٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑) Spoilers for the Blue Lock Manga!!!

I think the one complaint that I have about Blue Lock is that it leaves a lot of character back story questions unanswered for way too long. Like, yes, I don't mind having a character's back story being a mystery and up to interpretation for the audience to analyze and pick at. It can be fun in some cases! But not when it takes around 200+ chapters just to get one of the biggest character backstories (in my opinion) possibly answered. And more often than not, when it comes to side characters, other than a couple of exceptions, Nagireo gets the most spotlight in development. They are the ones who, since they first got introduced, got some sort of developed in every arc. And I love to see it, but not when it leaves other characters that have the potential to shine in the dark. Like Kiyora or Raichi. The repetitive scenes of Kiyora about to go on the field were killing me. And if I had a quarter for every time Raichi got the "I'll show you what I can do" scene followed by nothing from him smh. Listen, I love NagiReo. More so now that I've finally been able to properly understand their relationship as both friends and in a hypothetical romantic sense...but it has been, I don't know how many chapters, since we first learned about Sae and Rin's strained relationship after Sae went abroad, and we're just now getting more info??? After 300 chapters??? REALLY??? Do you know how many times I begged to learn more about Sae's back story, and what made him give up on being a striker? I legitimately forgot I wanted this whole thing to get explored up until Bunny's reveal! And don't even get me started on Kunigami. We still don't know WTF happened in the Wildcard room that was able to break him!!! We haven't gotten a hint of exploration into his Wildcard self since the Team Z reunion chapter. Seriously, WHAT THE F*CK HAPPENED IN THE WILDCARD ROOM??!?!?!? But! To be fair, I haven't read any of the character novels, nor do I know if there's any info within the Character Bible. Maybe there is info, and I've just skipped/missed it. Then again, it shouldn't take this long for us to finally get at least one of my many questions out of the way. TBH, this would've been a shipping rant buttt my love for character exploration/development won out. Maybe I'll make another post about the Blue Lock ships? Later me problem tho~ Never thought I'd make a post like this, but none of my friends read/watch Blue Lock, so here I am! Thank you to those who read all this, and again, please let me know if anything was answered and I just missed it somehow. I'd hate to be left in the dark for any of this.

[shysublimecoffee]

I prefer not to sound harsh, but Miraculous has become a fandom where I find more enjoyment in reading fanfics than watching the show. It feels like there's a lack of effort or an attempt to justify and rearrange elements, often ignoring past seasons and assuming the audience won't notice. The handling of Derision is a notable example, with more astute critics than me delving into their dissatisfaction and the evident retcons.

I didn't anticipate the show going to such lengths as portraying Gabriel as someone deserving of a statue, and it left a sour taste in my mouth to see the hero endorsing it. Adrien/ChatNoir's portrayal has become quite pitiful, with a peculiar shift where Ladybug takes on a significant role in the Agreste Saga despite her absence from that narrative. Ladybug, who isn't even part of the Agreste Saga, is the one delivering heartfelt moments. The decision to sideline Adrien and put him out of commission is disappointing. It's his story yet she the one who has to make it about her. She gets to shine along with a cool costume to boot.

There's a palpable bias from Astruc against Chloe, evident in the show's treatment of her character. Despite her being manipulated by Gabriel Agreste, the narrative blames her for becoming mayor, and the absurdity of the situation is magnified when everyone in the story goes along with it. The inclusion of a scene in Revolution where Chloe is crying is perplexing and frustrating, as it seems to perpetuate the negative and irredeemable image the show consistently paints of her. The added layer of her mother being horrid to her intensifies my annoyance, especially when sympathetic scenes are presented in a seemingly contradictory manner.

I mean you want her to be the worst but yet she has scenes like this? Why not go all the way wtf. Why give her depth only to take it away and then make her be so demonized in s5 and act like she was like this from the start. When she's been a joke

I hate to be critical, but seriously, it's hard to ignore how the Miraculous universe is just dripping with untapped potential. Five seasons in, and the movie outshines the show effortlessly. It makes you wonder about the writers' team and their approach—seems like they're just coasting on low effort for profit, and somehow, it's working, thanks to Miraculous inexplicable popularity.

The show's been beating the monster-of-the-week horse for five long seasons, lacking any creativity in crafting interesting villains. Gabriel, honestly, feels like a starter villain, and if they're going to make him the big bad, can we at least get some villains with a bit more pizzazz? You know craft creative interesting villains? KNDS, Original PPG, Totally Spies they got it so why not Miraculous. It's so damn tiring seeing the same old song and dance with Gabriel 24/7 monologuing to his wife and releasing the akuma I thought Mayura would be important but she's barely there.

It's not even an excuse kids do deserve better entertainment so why should Miraculous lower its standards. Marinette is very weird to me as the protagonist because her lovelife is more focused over everything I gauged her well enough to know about her that the rest of the secondary needs more of a spotlight to be cast on them. I like her but am I the only one who just skips when she starts the whining about Adrien and her plan to again get together it was cute at first now I fast forward to the more interesting part of the episode because it irks me i'm tired okay... what other facet of her character do the writers focus on besides her love life? I hope I don't appear to salt on her but Imma tag it just in case. I think she's in neutral treading to dislike because how can I come back from her gaslighting her boyfriends I'm sorry I can't.

You know what I'm afraid of that if Lila gonna be the next big bad they'll just recycle everything from Gabriel onto her. We'll have the same akumatizations same monster of the week formula only this time it's Lila.

I trust more in the fanfic community to come up with a better substantial plot than Miraculous could ever be. I know romance is a big part but the lore is so damn little it's season 5 are they ever going to expand more in the later seasons lol.

I'm tired from writing this long. Imma go to bed now.

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

I’m obviously super fuckin late to this but WHAT THE FUCK WAS HARRYS SURPRISE FOR Y/N??? (ysijwa) sorry not yelling I knew when I started this fic it was unfinished and I thought I’d be able to handle it but I severely underestimated my emotional investment

Ps you’re a beautiful writer and thank you for blessing us with what you did. I do hope it gets finished but if not thank you for all you gave us anyway. Such a beautiful story and the way the plot and characters developed was just so realistic and authentic. I’ve read many fics where like the MC is just magically the game changer and upon Harry first meeting them, it’s like an imaginary spotlight shines on them and they stand out in a crowded room. And I’ve always struggled to find that storyline believable. Like for some reason she just magically stands out? But the way y’all wrote it was just so organic and well written that it was unbelievable. In fact, he chose her for the opposite reason, which was just so bloody clever? And then I understood why she captured him over time, believed in why she was his game changer. There’s so many parts that had me giggling and hiding under my covers and grinning like a fool at my phone. So much joy and silly goofy things and little moments that were sprinkled in that I feel get missed in other fics. His goon squad being so funny. And the c/w’s were just the cutest. And there’s so much personality in both of y’all’s writing. I know I had more to say but I’m blanking. Will drop back by and let you know if I remember pending this message isn’t annoying for you. It was just a joy to read.

OH MY GOD PLSKWKDJS MY FUCKING HEART 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 YOUR MESSAGE ISNT ANNOYING AT ALL, ITS ACTUALLY MADE MY ENTIRE DAY 😭😭😭😭 thank you sm for leaving such a sweet, thoughtful message it truly made me smile so big wtf 😔😔😔

I tried to give some context clues about the surprise but essentially he built her a big pillow fort bc he knows she’s feeling homesick and it’s something her and her friends used to do :’) and he got a bracelet making kit cause she’d mentioned that too so they’re gonna have a date in there and make silly little bracelets for each other and just be goofy lovey dovey morons AS THEY SHOULD!!!

I’m so happy you liked the way the storyline developed, I know some ppl were beefing with the fact that he was so indifferent to her in the beginning 💀 but that’s what makes their relationship arc so meaningful, it wouldn’t be realistic if he just immediately took to her bc real connection takes time and effort y’know??

AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THE FANG GANG THEYRE SO STUPID I LOVE THEMNDNF they’re my bbys 🤏

Pls do drop by again if you’d like, I love hearing people’s thoughts on the fic even if it’s been on hold for a bit cause of life and work 🥺 I do hope to finish it, it’s just gonna take a bit 😭 THANK YOU SM AGAIN MY HEART’S GONNA BURST

[callmearcturus]

so i was just reading ktowl today and I realize smth: there's an overarching sun and moon thing with karkat and dave. and the more I think abt it the more I realize that it's not a sun and moon, it's a star and a black hole. think abt it. dave is referred to as cal's "star accountant" and stars are a form of light, which cast shadows. he gives karkat hope for his future, n stars are a symbol of hope. for kk, black holes are like the absence of shadow and identity. he is unfamiliar but curious.

black hole is not how I put it but that works as a cipher. essentially, as fucking bog standard as it is, light and shadow are the key motifs of the entire story. and I tried my best to keep the way that motif presented for each person/faction as concrete as possible.

the umbra: shadows, hidden information, the comfort of darkness, of being out of sight, but also the horrible things that happen when hidden from oversight for that long

abraxas: light, obnoxious light, ego, wanting to replace the sun, but an artificial light that blinds the eyes and leaves details visible, but often ill-understood. you see an object with seven lights shining on it, and you cannot quite get your brain to understand wtf you're looking at.

dave, specifically: torn down curtains and sitting by windows, the light in his room isn't direct, it bounces off the surfaces and diffuses, he can't escape the shadows but he's fighting every step of the way. his other domain is the roof, which is a free space with sudden drops on all sides. not to be too direct about it but if he steps out of the shadows, he literally dies. still, he flirts with the idea A Lot.

dirk, specifically: a person who has been in the shadows so long he doesn't know what the fuck he is anymore, he lacks any context. he knows the shape of himself, but not the look. imagine someone who hasn't seen a mirror or reflective surface in 15 years-- they see other people, but are missing that information on themself.

jake, specifically: the guy standing in the spotlight, putting on a show, always carefully aware of what angle the audience is at. ironically he casts a long shadow.

rose, specifically: the woman behind the spotlight. obviously. obviously.

karkat: the entire thing with karkat is he doesn't buy into any of the shit around him. while everyone is doing dramatic shadowplays, karkat's comprehension of the world doesn't factor in the light/dark bullshit, it's all kind of silly to him. he's the royal flush played in the midst of the chess match.

.... god DAMMIT i wrote too much AGAIN. why are y'all doing this to me!!!

MOTIFSSSSSSSSS!!!

[uwurakax]

teardrops on my guitar ♡

pairing: semi x f!reader ♡

genre: angsty // unrequited love // pining ♡

summary: it was like the plot of any rom com; two kids, a boy and a girl who were best friends since childhood and inseparable. you fell in love with him, and maybe he could’ve loved you too. such a shame he grew feelings for someone else ♡

word count: 1.7k ♡

author’s note: i love the pretty setters so much why am i doing this t-t which one next? lolol jk - not proofread sry. also wtf tryna write this on the train then some nub slams into my seat from behind dude u wot ♡

♡ (inspired by teardrops on my guitar by taylor swift) ♡

“What’s this?”

“A flower duh”

“But.. why...?”

“My dad gives them to my mum. He says he loves her after”

“But why are you giving it to me?”

“Because we love each other right?”

“Yeah”

“And one day we’ll get married and stuff”

“Hahaha, yeah! And then you give me all the flowers!”

A sweet memory, one from many years prior had always managed to pop into your mind at the most random times. You wished it didn’t, an adorable and innocent reminiscence had no place here, only offering confusion and complications. Semi Eita is your best friend, you wouldn’t let your feelings ruin your friendship with him.

Sometimes you’d wonder what would happen if you did actually confess to him. Wondering if he actually did remember the childish promise the two of you made. Neither of you had known of the power and meaning of the words uttered between you at barely 6 years old. The innocence of it all turned into something different.

Something deeper.

You also wondered if he would’ve looked at her. It was way too easy to fall into the mindset of ‘if I had told him, would he have looked at me the way he does her?’. ‘If I said my feelings sooner, could he have held me the same?’.

If I had told Semi I loved him, would he kiss me like that too?

There was way too many ifs going through your head, it was a marvel you could concentrate on anything else. At least during these moments your heart had some reprieve, a minuscule break of the pain you had to endure everyday you saw him with her.

Everyday during lunch, she sat next to him. The couple sitting opposite you at the table and you absolutely loathed it. It didn’t seem fair, the two of them being all lovey dovey, the sight of a picture perfect couple. Flaunting the perfect love they shared to anyone and everyone who saw. It just sucked that you were in the front row.

Everyday at practice she was there, cheering on Semi. Her yells and squeals echoing against the court walls. They easily overshadowed your silent ones. She’d jump excitedly next to you, clapping and screaming for the team. If you squinted, you could’ve pretended that the warm smile he threw over at the both of you was for you only.

You knew better though. Knew that any affection of love held was hers, and only hers. Knew the cheeky winks and blown kisses were reserved only for her. Knew that the uncontrollable feelings you felt for your best friend would never be reciprocated.

For only small moments, you could delude yourself into believing that Semi Eita had loved you the way you loved him.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Jogging towards you, you handed Semi his water bottle, a small smile tugging on your lips. He wasn’t looking at you though. Honestly he never looked at you anymore, not with her around. Even when she wasn’t his eyes scanned for her. Like nothing else even mattered as long as she was there.

You had to hold back a sigh, quietly watching as he stared at her with such loving eyes. You wanted to hate it. Absolutely despise the way he looked at her, but you couldn’t. He looked so happy. Like a scene from a romance movie, he eyed her as if she was the sun, and everything just revolved around her. The whole nine yards of feeling goosebumps and a quickening heartbeat, Semi felt it all.

You wondered if she even knew the adoration he held for her. Despite her back being turned, despite the fact that she was engaged in conversation with someone else, Semi was undeniably smitten.

“You know, I think she’s the one” Semi whispered to you. This was the harsh reality of it all. No matter how much you wished, Semi Eita just wasn’t meant for you.

“You think so?” You tried to hide your exhaustion, numbness taking over your body. You could still feel the pinpricks of heartache however, no matter how much you tried to push it down. And sooner or later, it would overwhelm you until you buried your face into your pillow and cried til you fell asleep. That was a problem for future you though.

“Yeah, I do” he smiled wistfully at her, your heart fracturing little by little. You knew that look all too well. The look of longing, admiration and pure love. Recognised it all to well, because it was the way you looked at him. In class, at lunch and during practice. Whenever he wasn’t looking, you’d lower your wall by the tiniest bit.

You weren’t unknown to the fact that she looked at him exactly the same way too.

Whenever he was concentrating on his work, his serves or chatting with his friends, she’d gaze at him with the same affection that was unknown to Semi himself. It wasn’t hard to be envious. Not just because you were in love with Semi too, but to find something so special was so incredibly rare.

“I’m really happy for you Semi, I’m glad you found her.” You looked away, not wanting Semi to see your face. Sure that if he saw your eyes, he’d see the heartbreak swimming beneath the glistening tears that had just barely started to form.

“Semi!” You heard her squeal, bouncing her way to the both of you and throwing herself in his arms. It truly was unfair how they seemed to meld together so well. Like ying and yang, the moon and tides. You couldn’t have one without the other, so complimentary in existence.

You tuned them out, not wishing to subject yourself to anymore heartache for the day.

“You should join us Y/N! We don’t hang out much and I wanna get to know Semi’s best friend more” she smiled. Her wonderfully radiant smile beamed at you. Pearly whites shining under the lights, it was like God himself blessed her, an invisible spotlight on her at all times. Guess God really did have favourites, and she was impeccable.

“Ah I’d love to but I really have to get this homework done or I never will. Plus don’t wanna intrude” you shyly said. You didn’t know how much you would’ve been able to take.

“Alright fine but next time! Gotta promise ‘kay?” She giggled and snuggled up to Semi’s side.

“Of course, it’s a promise”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You were slow packing up your books and pens, the lunch bell normally alerting your body to speed your way to your lunch table to prolong the little break you did get.

When you finally did make it to your friends, you noticed Semi hadn’t arrived yet, and the only open seat was next to her. With a quiet sigh, you reluctantly sat down.

Opening your school bought bento, you picked at the egg, too exhausted from everything and just not being in the mood to eat.

“Y/N, you alright?” Her super sweet and feminine voice rang in your ear. Honestly, it was just grating to you now. You plastered on a fake smile.

“Yeah, sorry just super tired” you continued to stare at your food, probably looking like you hated the mix of meat and vegetables. Just for today, you didn’t want to pretend to be okay. Pretending that you were happy for your best friend. Pretending that you weren’t in love with him. Pretending that you didn’t hate his girl even though she did nothing to warrant any form of hatred from you.

“Guess who!” You saw Semi over your shoulder, playfully covering her eyes and hiding one arm behind is back. She giggled out his name, pulling his arm off and giving him a quick peck. You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes, their public display of affection eating away at you, and making you more infuriated and annoyed.

Semi pulled a beautiful bouquet from his back and handed them to her, her eyes widening in surprise.

Flowers huh?

“Wow Semi, these are gorgeous! But you didn’t have to..” she stared starstruck, unable to look away at the assortment of flora. Pinks, reds and whites decorated the bouquet, and were wrapped in a gorgeous purple cellophane.

“I know, I wanted to. You do give flowers to the person you like right?”

And just like that, your heart completely shattered.

She gave Semi another peck, thanking him for the thoughtful gesture.

You quickly arose from your seat, throwing your napkin and chopsticks into your bento, packing it up and quietly leaving the table.

“Hey, where are you going?” Semi called out to you, both of them looking at you curiously.

“Sorry, just need to go to the bathroom real quick” and you scurried off, throwing away your barely eaten meal with a bit more force than necessary.

When you finally made it to the bathrooms, you slammed the door and leaned your back against it. You started to inhale deeply, the once cute memory that brought you happiness now only gave you pain. You pulled the toilet lid down and sat, not caring if it wasn’t as hygienic as it should’ve been.

Curling your knees into your chest, you buried your face in them and let out the anguish and hurt that had been waiting to spill over. The hot burning tears that you only had yourself to blame for, because you were the idiot who fell in love with their best friend.

You cried until your eyes felt swollen and heavy, the constant friction of repeated rubs on the sleeve of your blazer added to the redness in your eyes. You looked down at your black polished school shoes, unaware of how much time had actually passed. It didn’t matter anyway.

Steadily, you got up from the seat. Once you left this bathroom stall, you’d never cry over Semi Eita ever again. You’d be the best friend, the one who would always be happy for him; and you wouldn’t fake it this time. You’d actively and attentively listen to him about his relationship, no longer going to feel bitter. You’d smile and cheer, and be the most supportive you could be, how you should be. They deserved that.

You’d let Semi go.

Perhaps tonight, with the newly made promises to yourself, you’d finally be able to get some sleep.

[dolores-lovesfruits]

There is something that has been itching me ever since I entered the fb fandom. It’s been a long time debate ever since the manga and the 2001 anime up till now and Idk, I feel like this topic is overlooked by many, which is kyo vs. yuki/ more like pitting them against each other on who’s better. 

Beware: This is a super long post.

Look, I may be a Momiji stan at heart but I can’t deny that these dudes are awesome. Do note that I am not speaking against those who have their own biases, I’m referring to the people who keep comparing these two in a really negative way to the extent of antagonizing the other party or worse; comparing who’s got more trauma. I saw the latter part on that one facebook post and I was all “wtf?!” 

Now we all know Yuki was criticized for his so-called “surface” character especially back in the 2001 anime where they really botched their chances of developing Yuki’s storyline with his brother, backstory, and president arc; and since the first half of the manga centered on the true form arc, a lot of Kyo stans emerged and at times, shoved yuki in the mud as if he’s not that important to the whole series (which infuriated me and I’m pointing my finger at the 2001 anime for this). The reboot is finally shining Yuki and the fandom, new viewers/old fans begin to love this Yuki more than the old version because this is the Yuki that was portrayed in the manga that we all love. It also helps that there are a lot who posted their metas about him and people have matured enough to understand his situation.

Now moving on to Kyo. Since the second half of season 2 will finally focus on the storyline that Yuki didn’t get during the 2001 anime, this is the part where I’m very intrigued of. Gathering some opinions from manga readers, this is the arc wherein there might be an emergence of Kyo hate opinions. I predicted this for a number of reasons and connected it to what season 2 will show, like Yuki’s backstory wherein we found out that Yuki actually wanted to befriend Kyo; using yuki as a scapegoat; the cinderella arc where Kyo lashes out on Yuki again. Not to mention, Kyo doesn’t really appear that much or get that much spotlight during the second half (except Kagura’s confession and Kyoko’s backstory albeit it’s more focused on kyoko’s) because his spotlight and development will come at season 3.

This is something that really pissed me off. The Yuki hate was based on his treatment towards Kyo and acting like he’s better than him (ex: is when a lot complained during the ore-sama dialogue that he’s acting all superior to Kyo or some shit). If anything, Yuki has the right to call out on Kyo which I’ll explain below. The Kyo hate on the other hand was based on his treatment to Yuki back when they’re younger till now (it rages me when there are fans who blamed Kyo for ALL of Yuki’s trauma. He’s partly at fault, for sure but the fact that they are really blaming ALL this on Kyo was absurd. blame akito or the curse dammit). 

Kyo’s actions are unjustifiable, sure, especially when he’s channeling his hatred to someone he doesn’t fully know but it’s one of his main conflicts in this series. Even as a kid, he still technically started that feud between their relationship even when Yuki just wanted to be friends w/ him but because of the rat/cat hierarchy implanted on him since he was born, it was natural for him to lash out on Yuki, which, resulted on damaging Yuki’s trauma more. It didn’t help that Yuki was used as his scapegoat because not only projecting your hatred also cause to damage to the other person which come of as insensitive, but it also developed Kyo’s unhealthy way of coping esp since he explicitly said that he used Yuki because he wouldn’t be able to take it any longer (it really was the only thing keeping him together which was a super fucked up situation). It’s a lose-lose battle on him

I’m not going to pretend that Yuki is an angel as well. He, too have struggled immensely and his envious thoughts and jealously towards Kyo sprouted his hatred towards him which in any case, is not Kyo’s fault. His internal struggles of not being able to be himself was not entirely Kyo’s responsibility, which developed an unhealthy coping mechanism wherein he puts up this princely facade and also lashes on/ beats Kyo due to his jealousy. I also think a lot are forgetting that while Kyo used him as a scapegoat, deep inside, Yuki looked down on Kyo as well. Based on what Shigure told Tohru that the cat is needed for them to make themselves feel a little better. Which was amplified during Momiji’s grown up chapter (the scene where they are making curry) the zodiacs finally acknowledged the effect of being in the cat’s unfortunate position.

I cannot fully blame Yuki for looking down on Kyo and used his jealousy to beat him up because he reminds him of anything he’s not. At the same time, I cannot fully blame Kyo for lashing out on him when they were kids and used the rat to have a purpose of his hatred. Their feelings manifested from the curse, it just so happened that these two were driven with different coping mechanisms.

In addition, I really don’t understand the point of antagonizing/villanizing person a to person b’s backstory and vice versa when it’s clearly not the case. A lot are forgetting that it’s the bond/curse and akito that made them this way. You can’t fully blame the other party because both of them are victims of terrifying positions (Yuki’s closest to god so he really suffered from akito’s abuse while Kyo’s position as the cat made him mocked and looked down by the sohmas and eventually imprisoned for life for something he was born with). It’s also interesting despite their different childhood experiences, both experienced some kind of isolation (yuki was isolated from the other zodiacs and kept in the dark room while kyo was an outcast and not included in any event because the mere presence as a cat is something they need for the banquet to keep going).

This is the reason why my blood was boiling when they get compared at who’s got the worst trauma or some shit from the two. It’s downgrading the other’s problems and experiences and fucking petty. BOTH, I repeat, both have been traumatized and suffered a lot and it defeats the purpose on portraying different traumas and their journey of fighting their demons. In other words, the two do not deserve to be compared. It’s not a battle between traumas.

If they want to blame something, blame the fucking curse (and Akito). It clearly destroyed the cursed Sohma’s mental health. No need to pit these two into an experience that haunted them both.

I’m saying this because while I was glad and relieved that the yuki hate is slowly dissolving, I noticed that this season might involve some Kyo hate and I just have to fucking slap my desk and be like “Not this again!”

Again, everyone has an opinion on certain characters but there are some that are just “too much”. That feeling overshadows the character’s good points/flaws. Kyo and Yuki are not painted to be the bad guys. They are characters with flaws and conflict going on. Without these flaws, the story wouldn’t drive further. I actually prefer the fandom right now than before because the majority of the main Kyo and main Yuki stans both love and respect the other. I hope it will continue to be like that and just stop with the Kyo and Yuki hate.

[kewltie]

im entertaining a pro baseball au with bkdk on rival teams (one a former champ and the other a new powerhouse who had arrived on the field), set up by the media as each other's nemesis, until izuku got traded to katsuki's team and now they're force to work together and win a champ with this riff raff baseball team that had never gotten very far.

they're childhood friends. izuku grew up in katsuki's shadow—who is hailed as a prodigy, a one of a kind pitcher that come only every few gens but katsuki worked super hard to get where he is. izuku is actual the real genius but it's overshadowed by his insecurities and lack of confidence . so while katsuki shines ever brightly in the spotlight, he never forget that izuku is the only one to hit his fastest pitch and he got a mind like a machine that steer katsuki's pitching right into in glove every time because worse than getting a hit off Katsuki's pitch, he's a catcher who make katsuki feels invincible. Undefeated.

in their younger years they were a battery pair that dominated the lil league until Katsuki's warped superiority/inferiority complex broke them up because he was terrified that izuku would outshine him one day, ppl would start to see Izuku's brilliance, and that he wont need katsuki anymore. he left izuku for the bigger and better stage while izuku floundered helplessly wit out him thinking he wasnt good enough for katsuki. he dreams of being in the pro league with kacchan; it was both of their dreams to follow their idol--All Might, the no. 1 baseball player in Japan—to the biggest stage of their life. they were supposed to go pro together but katsuki went first and then racked up champions and champions with an all-star team as their starting pitcher, while izuku watched katsuki shut down the other team from his couch.

he thought that should have been him out there with kacchan so he trained everyday, dumping all his money into those batting cages because even if he got no team izuku still dreams. If he can’t have katsuki as his pitcher than he’ll do the next best thing, face against him as a batter. Changing position is not an easy choice to make, while izuku may be genius (though you wouldn’t know it by the way he’s shyly steps up to the plate) but even better than that he’s a hardworker. it's there that all might found him, discovered this diamond in the rough and took him under his wings because izuku was always meant something bigger than this cage. with all might's help izuku gets better enough to be scouted in an mid level pro team and it's there he get to stand on the same stage as katsuki even if they're on diff teams. katsuki's team may be a championship team with all its accolades so far but izuku is izuku. he's always beaten the odds; it's in him.

the 1st season izuku entered the pro, his team finally made it into the playoffs in many years but was knocked out by 1st seed team--Katsuki's team. it was a bitter feeling but to stare katsuki down on the pitch and getting a hit off of him like back in the old days felt amazingly good. katsuki had won against izuku and his team but it wasnt a total shut out either. in the last game izuku managed to to hit 2 home run off of katsuki's fastball and that's 2 too many. izuku is terribly awkward and shy in front of the media but when he step on that plate--he's mean and vicious. Eyes on the prize and the gauntlet is thrown. To chase a victory is in his blood as much as katsuki’s.

katsuki may have won but he felt like he lost the fucking war because izuku is here in front of him now and he cant get rid of him even if he want to. they were bound by some fucked up twisted fate that kept them tied together and meet like this once more. with that 1 series, izuku secured his place as katsuki's rival as the only handful of batters who can get a homerun on katsuki. in the next season, izuku made the playoffs again and lost to katsuki AGAIN but this time it was a hard fought fight that could go either way as the entire nation watched with bated breath. izuku and katsuki's team clashing was the most hype series in the playoffs even more than the grand finals. even their regular season games were watched by so many ppl. they were both stars of the their respective teams and they have a history so THE MEDIA ATE IT UP.

in izuku 3rd season, at the playoff once more he finally at last knocked katsuki off his perched in front of a stunned crowd and a glowering katsuki. they would eventually go to win the championship but nobody can forget that rainy long day when katsuki and izuku met up against each other on the field that last so long it felt like an entire year had passed between them. the grand finals was great between izuku’s team and another ace but it was the bitter, hard fought semi-finals battle between katsuki and izuku’s team that was etched into everyone’s memory.

that lost cut katsuki deeply. it was his first time not making it to the finals and to see izuku winning it all was such a bitter feeling. he started to slipped as his obsession with beating izuku grew. his pitching became erratic and uncontrollable. his pitching staff and catcher doesnt know how to fix him. it all came to a head when he had to face izuku again in the regular season and ofc izuku knew right away something was off with him. katsuki's team lost that match up and after the game, izuku reached out with concern.

"it's your shoulder isnt it?" he asked as though he didn't already know.

katsuki rebuked him right away, but it burned in him that even with all these ppl surrounding him it's only izuku who noticed that his shoulder was the source of the problem. izuku knew him better than anyone even now. katsuki eventually had to tell the staff that he blew his shoulder in the offseason while training and it didnt heal right. so he was benched to recover but even when he did... it was like he wasnt ever the same again. his pitching was off, lacking its usual explosive speed and power.

his team started to use him less and less and they didnt even make it to the payoffs in DECADES. the loyal and fanatic fanbase turned against their star even tho it wasnt Katsuki's fault, pushing to trade him out for a better, newer, and younger pitcher as though there were anyone better than him but katsuki was considered old news and izuku was the new face of the league as he won a back to back championship and mvp title. so katsuki himself pushed to be traded off to another team so he can start over and prove to his doubters than be can reach to the top with ANY TEAM.

they send him to the bottom of the league--U.A. a team of troublemaker players who are all talented but eccentric enough that they cant fit anywhere else. with this new team who finds katsuki's abrasiveness interesting rather than annoyance or something they have to put up with, they start to make a sort of family out of these misfits and katsuki slowly learns to rely on his teammates and not take on the world just by himself because he may stand alone on that mound but his team got his back to make sure he would never fall. they're good for him and hes good for them!!

 though they still have much to learn about each other, but they managed to beat some of the top teams in the regular season with their sheer guts. even tho they didnt make it to the playoffs this season, katsuki didnt feel bitter at all he knows there's a next year and a next year. There’s hope still for them. they’re growing and improving with each win/loss. Losing DOESN’T FEEL LIKE A PERSONAL BETRAYAL ANYMORE. It’s a measure of one’s growth.

Izuku's team consistently outperformed everyone now that katsuki isnt posed as his rival because he's in a diff league (west vs east) now so they rarely meet up in the regular season but izuku misses that edge, that feeling of being cut by Katsuki's fastball, and to stand on same the field with katsuki but more than anything he wants catch Katsuki's pitch, to be a battery again with KATSUKI so TO THE SHOCK OF THE ENTIRE WORLD izuku didnt renew his contract with his 3x championship team but chose to sign up with U.A. at a heavily discounted price because he wants to win WITH katsuki!!

the thing is he'd been following katsuki all his life. katsuki was the one who taught him baseball, followed him into the lil league, middle school, high school, the pro, and then followed in his footsteps to take the champ, so it should be no surprise that he would eventually follow katsuki to his new team.

"aren't you tired of being in bakugou's shadow?" his general manager asks. "dont you want to stand separate from him? with us you can go so far, midoriya."

izuku shakes his head. "im not in katsuki's shadow. he's paving the way and telling me to hurry up and come to him."

it's always the case with them. katsuki runs and izuku gives chase, but somewhere along the way they both have to stop. U.A. is that destination and the day izuku arrives on u.a.'s homestand he feels it in air--the electricity, the tension, and new beginning.

katsuki's eyes are wide as he spots izuku standing on the field of his team. anger and bitterness flickers hot and heavy in his chest. he storms over to izuku and demands to know wtf is he doing here DOESN'T HE KNOW THIS IS KATSUKI'S TEAM? but izuku just smile, sweet and soft.

"i'm here to be your new catcher," izuku informs him, rocking happily back and forth on his heels.

katsuki bristles. "not happening," he hisses.

Izuku raises his brow. "why dont you try me out first then." he quirks the corner of his lips up in amusement. "or are you afraid?"

katsuki eyes narrow because izuku knows him. KNOWS WHERE AND HOW TO PUSH THEM. it's like back in the playoffs again when they're facing each other. katsuki can read him just as easily izuku can too and it made their battle exhilarating, like dancing on the edge of a blade but sometimes he wonder what if it would be like not to have izuku's blade pointed at him but have him at his back instead. he should know because they were that once. together as one and it was a pairing unlike any other. no other catcher clicked the way izuku had and to have that again.

Katsuki grits his his teeth and nods. "get your gear," he says, "and i'll show you who is the one you should be afraid of."

izuku is an excellent batter. strong grip, good shoulder and arm, and there's power behind his swing, but he's an even better catcher.

he got good eyes to see ppl's move before they even do it. it's how he was able to shut down other pitchers as a batter because he read them all like a book, spending hours going over their specialize pitches and habits but he has never find a pitcher that pitch the way he wants them to. only katsuki gives it to him because katsuki holds no barred when he throw, he puts everything on the line and izuku wants that. he earnestly wants to receive all of katsuki's feelings. like he had in their past. izuku steps back as he watches katsuki gets on the mound.

it feels so right to crouch down, his gloved hand forward to receive katsuki's balls, and the fire of katsuki's eyes on him the entire time.

"give me everything you got. your best yet," he orders over the field.

katsuki snarls. "shut the fuck up," he says, and throws.

the balls slide right into izuku's glove like the turn of a key, the fit of a jigsaw puzzle, like a pitcher and their catcher. perfect just like izuku's imagine it to be. the impact of it knocks izuku back but the ball is right in his glove. right where izuku wants him to throw.

izuku gets up and throws his gear to the ground as he races up toward the mound. he laughs because THIS FEELS GOOD, BETTER THEN WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP ALONE BECAUSE NOW THEY'RE GOING TO WIN THIS TOGETHER AND HE KNOWS IT. CAN SEE IT IN KATSUKI'S PITCH, CAN FEEL IT THE BALL IN HIS GLOVE

"that was beautiful kacchan! i knew you can do it because with you here with me, we can do anything, even conquer this entire world," he declares with a certainty that startles even katsuki. he's grinning so wide and proud like katsuki's pitch was made for him and--

katsuki reaches out and pulls him into a forceful kiss because he looks so beautiful it hurts to watch, because in the end it was always about them. deku. Izuku. he has been waiting for a long, long time for izuku to get here. to stand on the same field as him and to have izuku catch his pitch. even when they fought each other in the regular seasons and the playoffs, where one side always win and the other always lose, he thought one day they would both share the same fate, same side and katsuki and izuku will taste victory together. they can, and now they will.

[taebadam]

act 2 pt. 2

oh boy. oh wow oh boy. now we get to my absolute favorite: you oughta know. get ready folks cause i have so so much to say. alright. so we cut to frankie and jo in new york where frankie is thanking jo for coming to pick her up since she lost her debit card and she didn’t want to “break down and call home.” jo is mostly silent, nowhere near her usual sarcastic self. she responds to everything frankie says in this flat, controlled tone just simmering with anger below the surface. i’m just gonna transcribe this whole scene because it shows so many things: how much jo really cares about frankie even though she’s pissed, how much frankie clearly hurt her and how frankie really didn’t realize what she was doing. frankie goes “that was pretty crazy back at my house. in fact i’m surprised you even showed up.” jo responds with little to no emotion in her voice other than underlying anger, just tight and quiet and closed off like she’s trying so hard not to lose it: “i’m your best friend. i’m not going to leave you stranded in a neighborhood you can’t even name.” “but you’re mad.” “can you guess why? or are you so far up your own ass these days you don’t even know?” “i’m really sorry. i was gonna tell you.” “and yet you didn’t. because you knew what you were doing was wrong.” “i didn’t think i was gonna fall in love with him.” “love? well congratulations frankie. i’m glad you found something healthy and rational. i’m clearly not as legit as your fuckboi phoenix.” “that’s not what i’m saying jo i just didn’t think you and i were in an exclusive relationship.” “right. why would you take this… (gestures to herself) seriously.” “you know i didn’t mean it like that.”

and in comes the music. ok so a few things. as jo starts singing frankie is standing behind her and jo’s deathly still, her voice still quiet as she just stares straight ahead. they’re the only two on stage. you can practically feel the tension in the air. everyone in the audience is on the edge of their seat. frankie starts to turn around and walk away until the first mini drop when you can feel something building and you know shit’s about to go down: when the guitar comes in and jo starts “a perfect version of me.” as soon as that guitar hits frankie freezes in her tracks and the soft light on jo starts to turn red. and wow is it about to get good. jo stays completely still as frankie circles back around while we get to the first pre-chorus, the “the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able…” part. as she does the pre-chorus the red light begins to expand around her but she still isn’t moving. her voice, however, even though it is still thin and controlled is starting to grow as the anger just continues to bubble up. she sings the first chorus just staring out into the audience, unmoving, and the tension just KEEPS BUILDING. frankie begins to back away just a little, like she’s beginning to realize just how angry and hurt jo really is. but we haven’t seen anything yet. we get to the second verse and the red lights continue to grow more intense as jo finally, FINALLY starts moving. she turns to look at frankie, staring her down, but she’s still controlled, still holding herself back. her voice gets a little more raspy, a little more intense but still not enough and everyone is holding their breath. once we get to “did you forget about me” she starts to stumble away a little bit, those mannerisms starting to shine through and we just barely start to see her truly devastated, exposed, vulnerable self. when she sings “are you thinking of me when he fucks you” she grabs frankie forcefully before pulling away. she’s starting to show more of her anger both physically and vocally. the pre-chorus comes back and that raspiness to her voice only increases, anger now finally starting to show on her face and she moves back, away from frankie and turns to finally start powerfully singing (though not yet screaming as she eventually gets to) “and i’m here!” it’s at this point that the band really starts to get loud. they come in from the wings and the volume jumps up. powerful red light fixtures drop down from the ceiling, flashing violently and one by one the ensemble runs up over the course of the second chorus to flank jo on either side. frankie doesn’t know what to do. and we’re still not even at the climax. then everything drops out as the ensemble starts singing “ooh” for the third verse. jo moves to the front, clearly starting to lose it as the ensemble walks around behind her, circling and enclosing frankie. jo isn’t even looking at frankie anymore, she’s holding her head in her hands and walking, pulling at her hair, eventually starting to join in with the ensemble. then she begins her high harmony and the anger on her face becomes more and more clear and as she sings higher and higher the ensemble moves from frankie to come stand beside jo. they all stomp their feet on the last “ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah… AHH!!” and jo’s high note. holy shit. and now everything’s been released.

she begins to go full screamo, dancing with the ensemble, pointing and yelling at frankie as her anger and fear and devastation just all boil over. the band is now rocking out and the stage is bathed in angry red light. jo screams “well can you feel it” and her and the ensemble run to stand near the back of the stage in front of the band and just completely lose it. jo is screaming, singing her heart out, throwing her body around in desperation. you can see just how horribly sad and angry she is, how she feels abandoned and alone. you can see it in her face, her body, hear it in her voice. and then the chorus happens AGAIN for that final time and they all run to the very front of the stage, jo just completely losing it. she whips her head up and down, screeching with all her might, reaching out to the audience and just practically pulsing with anger and energy. it’s truly stunning. on the last line (you, you, you) she and the whole ensemble are jumping and the lights are flashing red and white and then everyone cuts out and it’s just her, screaming out into the audience with a voice of just pure raw emotion: “oughta know!!” and they all freeze. the crowd goes. WILD. both times i saw this she got a standing ovation. A MID SHOW STANDING OVATION LIKE WTF. and she absolutely deserved it both times. the amount of emotion she puts out on that stage. and her VOICE HOLY SHIT. honestly, that scene and song is a whole musical in and of itself. her range of emotion through those like 5 minutes, the way she builds in every possible way— stunning. words cannot describe how much i love lauren patten. also it just means so much to me to see women who are allowed to get angry on stage. i love it.

also important to note is that jo doesn’t have her beanie on in this scene? and i have a lot of thoughts on this. in most other scenes, jo is hiding behind a front. she’s sarcastic and tries to avoid showing any form of vulnerability. she wears her beanie like a suit of armor, really. we only see her without her beanie three times: when she’s coming back from the church social with her mom (which she was forced to do and clearly hated. and as soon as her mom is gone she puts the beanie back on immediately, like it’s something to hold on to), you oughta know (which is the only time, at least at this point in the show, where i think we really, truly see jo— when she lets herself go) and then the end (we’ll talk about this later).

after everyone has finished cheering (for a solid like 2 minutes holy shit), frankie runs up to jo looking at her phone in a panic. “jo!” she yells. jo turns around, clearly annoyed, “what? god do you even give a shit?” and frankie goes “no jo it’s my mom” and immediately jo’s there to help because that’s the kind of person she is and they run off stage in a hurry.

cue uninvited. wow. i know i’ve said this about so many things but honestly i don’t think i’ve ever seen such genius staging and choreography in theater ever. it’s absolutely mindblowing. so this is the scene where mj overdoses and the way they depict this is genius. we see a dark stage with a single spotlight on the couch in the center where mj sits and begins to sing. seconds later, heather comes up from behind her and begins to dance around her. this kicks off a stunning choreography that has you on the edge of your seat the whole time. dressed the same as mj, heather shows the agony and pain mj is experiencing, both mentally and physically, through dance. she throws herself around the couch, falling to the floor in agony and pulling herself back up again. mj and heather reach out to each other but never quite reach each other. elizabeth’s stunning voice as mj combined with heather’s astounding choreography as her body double just makes you really, truly feel the absolute pain she’s experiencing in every possible way. incredible. also, at the very beginning of the song, i kid you not when i first looked toward the back of the stage i thought there was a reflection or a pole or something? you can ~just barely~ see something behind mj but i truly thought it was a trick of the light for the longest time. but slowly, ever so slowly, the light grows and you realize it was bella, looking on and watching the whole thing as a ghost in the distance. and her harmonies are stunning. at the end of the song heather and bella leave and mj collapses on the floor, completely passed out. this is when steve enters. he sees her and we see him for a moment start to run towards her and the stage goes pitch black with a loud note from the band. a second later the lights come back on and this time we see steve on the ground w mj and nick on the phone talking frantically. the lights shut off again w another note and when they come back on we see an emt taking mj’s vitals. then they shut off one last time and when they come back on we’re in the hospital w mj and steve.

steve and nick have a conversation with the doctor before going into mj’s room featuring one of the best exchanges i’ve ever seen on stage. the doctor tells steve mj overdosed and she had multiple drugs in her system, different ones than she was originally prescribed, leading him to conclude she got them off the streets. steve is in disbelief. he replies “look at her. does she looks like a drug addict to you?” and the doctor replies “what do you think a drug addict looks like?” no response. incredible.

then mary jane. wow sean allen krill’s voice is just so so good and his performance is stunning. i cried. he climbs in bed with mary jane as he sings to her and it’s adorable. we also have a great exchange between the two of them when she wakes up. one of the lines from the couples therapy scene earlier was steve talking about how mj has to be the best at everything: “we get it mj. you’re winning… at candyland.” now as she wakes up steve is breaking down (also so great to see a grown man get emotional and cry onstage! yes!! fuck toxic masculinity!!) and he apologizes for not noticing something was wrong earlier, talking about how he messed up. mj, still weak and tired responds “im detoxing from opiates… i win.” such a good line. they discuss how they need to start communicating more, mj starting to come clean that she has some things she needs to work through and they discuss how she’ll be going to rehab. nick then walks in (frankie visited earlier during mary jane) and mj immediately goes “nick i was wrong. you need to go to the police.” and steve responds “mj. he already did.” they then discuss how frankie is currently downtown at the rally she organized: the rally for bella.

and now we’re at the rally, the setting for no. this is absolutely incredible. the whole ensemble is on stage, the band behind them, jo and phoenix on either side and frankie in the middle holding a sign that says “stand with survivors,” all surrounding bella who stands in the center with her head held high. after the song starts bella and nick have a brief interaction and honestly i was so so happy with how they did this. nick explains that he came forward and apologizes for not doing so earlier. and bella, rightfully so, STAYS ANGRY. i love to see women on stage being allowed to show emotion. she recognizes he did the right thing but she doesn’t immediately forgive him nor should she. she’s still hurt, and what nick did, or didn’t do, will affect her for the rest of her life: “why didn’t you stop him?” she asks. “i don’t know” he responds, “but everyone knows the truth now.” she then calls him out on his privilege, saying “because you said it. why wasn’t it enough for me to say it? you get to be the hero, like always. because of who you are, because of what you look like. they believe you.” “i’m sorry. if i could change anything about my life bella i would go back—” “yeah. so would i.” she walks away and the song continues. most of the ensemble members have solo lines where they stand center stage, their expressions solemn while the rest of the ensemble surrounds them, touching them, enclosing them. then we get to the second chorus and bella’s big part. she stands center again, belting her heart out as the ensemble, frankie and jo all grab their signs and stand by her side. these signs are stunning. some highlights include: “rape affects all genders,” “believe black women,” “tell your story,” “you’re not alone,” “teach consent,” “a call to men,” “don’t tell me what to wear, tell them not to rape,” and, my personal favorite, “don’t get raped” with the “get” and “d” crossed out so it says “don’t rape.” they slowly move toward the front of the stage as they reach the climax of the song, and stand in solidarity in a line across the very front. at the end of the chorus nick picks up the sign frankie was holding earlier, “stand with survivors” and moves to join them and stand next to bella, literally standing with survivors. chills.

now we get to the closing. as thank u plays in the background we once again see mj sitting on the family couch, writing the annual healy christmas letter. she talks about how inspired she is by frankie’s strength, how her daughter’s doing so much for bella who is a rape survivor “like myself.” she then discusses how bella’s case is going to trial and, even though andrew still got into a good college, bella gets to tell her story, “most of us never do.” frankie then sits down next to her and says “i didn’t know what you were going through mom. i guess i never saw you as a… person?” mj laughs. “you’re my kid that’s normal.” she then starts talking about how all she ever wanted was for frankie to fit in there and when frankie tells her she never wanted that mj goes. “i got it wrong. i’m going to start listening.” she tells us nick is taking a year off to be a witness in bella’s case: “he can’t change the past. but he’s looking inside himself to figure out why he didn’t do anything when he had the chance.” she talks about how her and steve are in therapy both couple and individual. and finally, she talks about her time in rehab and the incredible people she met and all that she learned, but how “recovery will last the rest of [my] life.” she cracks some jokes at the expense of the white, privileged, suburban lifestyle she once loved, commenting “i had spent so much time around all of you i forgot what it was like to talk to people who were kind and genuinely had empathy.” the whole family is sitting next to her on the couch now as she finishes up the christmas letter with “xoxo, mj.” as she finishes she goes “i think this will be my last letter” and when asked why she says, “because christmas letters are for assholes.” steve then asks “are you really going to send that” and mj replies “what have i got to lose?” before steve reminds her “you’re not at rock bottom anymore.” frankie then dares her to send it and nick agrees. she hits send in one impulsive click and yells “merry fucking christmas.” you learn begins to play in the background as steve laughs and asks who that went to and mj responds in this hilarious exaggerated whisper: “everyoneeeeee.”

now we have you learn. so beautiful. one thing that isn’t on the soundtrack is that before jo comes in she and frankie talk for a moment. they say they miss each other but we see that jo’s doing well, she has a new girlfriend and she’s finally starting to gain some confidence. she doesn’t have her beanie on!! jo then asks about phoenix and frankie responds “we’re good. we’re just friends.” and then the music starts back up again. as we get to the chorus the whole ensemble joins them and they’re all just rocking out, laughing, smiling, dancing and generally having the time of their lives. so so wholesome i love it so much. watch the video of their performance on good morning america it’s so so cute. the very end everyone slowly leaves and it’s just mj and frankie center stage, holding hands as the final note dies out. so so good.

the bows. omg. at the end they go back and jam w the band and it’s SO CUTE. also frankie and jo always dance off together as they’re leaving the stage. wholesome content.

let me know if there’s anything else at all you’d like to know!! or if anything wasn’t clear. or if you just wanna talk about it. i have many thoughts, some of which aren’t even in this ridiculously long post.

[nebulous-wanderings]

ALIVE Stage Episode 1 Report

I was able to go to the first four performances of Ivesta Episode 1 from May 15 to 17! I won’t spoil the story or any plot points, but I will be talking about some funny moments, the daily (higawari) scenes, the curtain calls, and the dance live. These will be behind the cut. I’ll cover the things I mentioned in my twitter thread and more~ Sorry for any typos, I typed this on my phone on the plane ride home.

Synposis:

The cast of Episode 1 consists of Growth, ZIX, and some original characters. This play focuses on Mamoru and was a great introductory show for Ivesta. It was a good mix of comedy and low-stakes drama, so it was lighthearted (although some people did cry when it got heartwarming and wholesome). The main motifs were wisteria flowers (Mamo’s family name contains the kanji for wisteria = 藤) and Growth’s tagline in their logo, “Let us go singing as far as we go, the road will be less tedious.”

TLDR: You should buy the BD/DVD when it comes out because Ivesta is so wholesome and the dances are super impressive, unlike anything Tsukista or SQS has done before. The acting was good and it’s a great into to Growth!

The Stage Design:

It was a relatively small theater, but that meant any seat was a good seat to view the stage. The stage itself was kind of trapezoidal shaped because it’s tucked into (what would be) the corner of the venue space. The stage had a lot of tiers and stairs, but the main flat area was large enough for the dances. It was also pretty close to the seating level, only about 2ft off the ground. Since the first row was only 4ft from the edge of the stage, those people sitting in front wouldn’t have to tilt their necks up to view the stage.

The Acting:

I’m not a native Japanese speaker so I can’t fully judge the acting/intonation but it wasn’t cheesy or bad! Some of the backup dancers actually played characters in the play part, and their acting was good.

Ishiwaka Sho was a cute and peppy Kensuke! His voice is also surprisingly high, just like Yamayan’s, so it fit the character perfectly. He talked kind of fast during the MC parts and also would forget it was his turn during the MC, so I would say he was the most nervous that I could tell. Mitani Reo as Ryota was amazing! At first I thought he didn’t fit Ryota’s look that much (I had high expectations since Ryou is my favorite member) but I’ve gotten used to seeing him as Ryou, and his acting is ON POINT. He plays up the bitter/sarcastic parts of Ryou so well and is hilarious. Shiozawa Hidemasa was a calm and collected Koki, but I could tell he wanted to act out of character more since Kou is a very subdued person. For example, he always had a lot of fun in the higawari parts which I’ll talk about later. He was a great leader and had command of the crowd as a leader should. Iwasa Yuki made the stage Mamoru a very puppy dog-like and happy person. Personally, I always thought of Mamo as a more reserved person, but Yuki would always be waving really cutely to the crowds with a big smile. As the main character of the play, Yuki did an amazing job and I’m looking forward to how he’ll play Mamoru in the future!

The Dancing:

Let me just start by saying Ivesta has some of the most technical and complicated dancing in all of Tsukista/SQ Stage. Even the solos all had proper choreo with footwok and wasn’t just the usual waving/walking around like Tsukista has. I’m so glad I got to see the dancing live be sure it was amazing. When the disc version comes out I want to learn the dances because they’re legit. The dancing is characterized by a lot of hand/wrist movements, leaping, and grace.

The play started with a mini live where Growth performed the short versions of “Mahou no Kizuna” and “Fushichou no Nebula” then ZIX performed “Brilliant” and “BML.” This was ZIX’s only dance performance since they’re not in the dance live. Their songs have that edgy/sexy vibe and the dances mirrored that perfectly.

The setlist for the dance live was as follows: “Mahou no Kizuna”, “My Gloria,” MC, “Rada Kiana,” “Jiyuu no Tori,” “Planetaria,” “Amaki Kaze no Primula,” “Lila no Shirabe,” “Re:raise,” “Lucretia,” MC, and “Parallel Lineage.” (That’s all the songs but I may have switched the order of one of the unit songs)

I raved about the overall dancing already, so I’ll just point out some specific stuff. Reo is the best dancer out of the other three Growth members, not that any of the other guys are bad, but he has way more experience. He’s been a dancer for a while and is the main dancer in his idol group. My favorite performance is “Rada Kiana.” It starts with the spotlight shining on each member in succession while they do some solo moves and it looks really cool. It had some salsa-like hand and hip movements that fit the tone of the song. The “la da di la” parts also have amazing hand movements and Hide’s expressions during that part we’re so sultry~

Another memorable song is “Jiyuu no Tori,” especially the outro (around 3:53 of the song) where they do some contemporary hip-hop stuff when the beat is really kicking in. Reo was amazingggg!! Look out for him in this part of the song on the disc cuz damn, you’ll be impressed.

—————-

From here on, I’ll be relying on the list of memorable parts I wrote in my Twitter thread and try to elaborate on them. It will contain spoilers about some scenes!

General:

They do the lightning crackle effect when Ryota and Mitsuru are starting each other down on the TV program (just like in the anime)

Mamoru inhales (huffs) his pachira to give him strength and energy, then Ryou and Ken walk in like “wtf are you doing” lol.

Mitsuru refers to Ryota as the “Sakuraba-rrier” (get it? sakura barrier?) since he protects Koki (Ryou’s last name is Sakuraba), and Mitsuru’s nickname for Kensuke is “Yaegashi Ken” and does little doggie paws since “Ken” can also mean “dog.”

Each Growth member eventually receives a head pat from Koki at different points in the play <3

Mamo’s headpat scene is where Kou is trying to reassure him and their faces were so close - I’m pretty sure all the Kou/Mamo people in the audience got nosebleeds. Ken breaks it up though by saying something like “now’s not the time for the story about the dog and his master.” xD

For some reason, the MC before the final song never goes perfectly lmao. Either Sho will forget to say his line or they get sidetracked lol.

The Growth call and response they came up with for the stage play was to repeat the flower/plant-based kanji that’s in their names. Mamo and Kou have 藤 (fuji/wisteria), Ken has 樫 (kashi/evergreen), and Ryota has 桜 (sakura/cherry blossom). Then at the end, Kou says “Fan no minna to-” and the audience responds “issho ni Growth!” (“Together with all the fans, let’s grow!”)

May 15, Evening:

The higawari is about Mamoru going to the Lost and Found at a train station to look for his phone. The person playing the station attendant and the 2 guests change each show. For the first show, it was Reo/Ryou as the station attendant. One of the props he pulled out from the lost and found bin was a basketball and Reo got to show off his hidden talent of being able to spin and hold basketball on his fingertip. He even transferred the spinning ball to Yuki/Mamo’s hand~ The two guests were Sho/Ken and Hide/Kou as street performances. Sho kept yelling at Mamoru about soul music and then pulled out some buckets to play the drums on (he was really good!)

During the last song, the cast all go out into the aisles and do the usual high-touches and waves. I was sitting one seat in from the aisle, and Yuki came down and touched my hand!! Unfortunately I missed Reo who came from the back doors…

The first show’s curtain call had each Growth member say a message. Sho went but forgot to introduce himself and mention his name - he went straight to “thanks for coming today,” etc. So when he finished and it was Reo’s turn, Reo said “How can I go when this guy didn’t even say who he is?” Then at the end, Hide forgot to pause so everyone could say “arigatou gozaimasu” together so halfway through him saying it himself he stopped and was like “wait…” lol.

May 16, Afternoon:

This higawari had Hide/Kou as the station attendant. One of the props was a plunger, and I forget if there was another prop or not. The guests were Takuto/Makoto from ZIX and two of the original characters. They had sunglasses and suits on and were some kind of dancers. I’m not 100% sure what they were referencing, maybe that World Order dance group?

May 16, Evening:

I sat in the second row for this performance and it was so close to the stage! During one performance of Mamo’s solo, “Re:raise,” the bead sash that’s draped over his left shoulder ripped off from being whipped around and the beads spilled out onto the stage. It happened right at the “Zenzen…” line of the last chorus since he has a move where he turns his shoulder really quickly. Even though I was super close to the stage nothing hit me, but I think some beads could have hit the people in front of me. Yuki and the dancers kept going as usual, so that was good. I was just afraid someone might trip since the beads were round. After Mamo’s solo the rest of Growth comes out to do “Lucretia,” and I could see them eyeing the beads a little while taking their places. After that is the MC and after saying his lines Hide went to tell someone backstage about the beads (his mic was still on a little lol). The dancers came out and started to pick up the beads while Growth continued the MC. One of them even used a small vacuum lmao. Growth were joking around about it though, and no one got hurt so things continued as normal. After the show I picked up one of the beads that hadn’t gotten cleaned up from the floor:

The higawari was Ryou as the station attendant again. The first prop was a notebook that he called the “Ikemen Note” (like Death Note). If you write someone’s name inside they become an ikemen. Ryou wrote Mamo’s name inside and then Mamo acted all ikemen-like until Ryou was like “nevermind, it’s not real” lol. The second prop was a foam sword and Ryou acted like a clothing store workers saying, “This is a size small, it’ll look good on you!” The guests were ZIX in their animal fur suits (the costume they wear when doing that fortune telling segment on TV). Makoto had Mitsuri on a leash, but I couldn’t hear what they said they were exactly. Makoto kept trying to get Mitsuru to talk, but he mostly made animal noises lol. Then they played a game with Ryou and Mamo (not sure of the name). Basically everyone crouches with their head down and they take turns guessing how many of the four of them will stand up. When the person guessing calls out, the other players decide if they want to stand or stay crouched. If the person guesses the right number of people standing they win. Only Mitsuru was able to guess correctly because he said “1 person” and he was the only one that stood up lol.

During the last song, I was able to get another high touch from Yuki (this time with my other hand lol). I wasn’t even sitting in the aisle, I was 4 seats in, but he gave high touches to everyone on my left and was about to turn away but I decided to reach out too~ Then he saw me and reached over to give me a high touch~

That night it was Reo’s turn to do a curtain call message. He said he loves the story and the message of Episode 1. He tried really hard not to tear up and stopped to compose himself. Hide even gave Reo a small hug every time he stopped, but eventually the tears came… Reo said he wasn’t expecting to tear up like that, but he’s super happy to be able to be in Ivesta. (Y'all I can’t believe I got to see Reo cry from that close lol)

May 17, Afternoon:

This was the last performance I saw. The higawari had Kou as the station attendant, but I forget what props he had that time. The guests were one of the original characters plus Shoon wearing glasses and lab coats. They said they were from the “Kyun Lab” or something. Their segment consisted of saying a comforting line to Shoon who acts as someone worried about something, and the point is to be heartwarming and make their heart “kyun” (squeeze). The side cast member said an example line, then Mamo went and said something like “Don’t worry because I’ll always be by your side” and it was cute. Then Hide/Kou, who had been just sitting and watching, gets dragged to his feet by the other guys. He doesn’t want to do it and was like “yada yada~” but the audience cheered him on. I don’t think he was prepared or expecting to have to say a cute line too lol. I forgot what the line started with, but he ended with “I’ll give you a hug” and hugged Shoon from the back.

ZIX was in charge of the curtain call and we’re really cool. It was nice to be able to hear from Takuto and Riki. Takuto then suggested Hide should do ZIX’s cutesy/embarrassing fortune telling pose and Hide was like “uhhhh” but of course the audience wanted to see that so he said yes. Riki told him to choose another Growth cast member to do the pose with and OF COURSE he picked Reo (cuz Ryota hates ZIX lol). Reo tried to walk off stage saying “oh look, it’s time for me to go” but the other cast stopped him lol. Hide and Reo reluctantly said the line ZIX says which is something like “Happy ni naremasu you ni, sunny na egao de lucky day ♪” and did the pose. The sound board staff even played the little sparkle sound that plays when ZIX does the pose on TV lmao. Reo looked up to the 2nd floor where the sound board was and was like “you better watch yourself” lol.

After the final bow when Growth says their last goodbyes, Reo took his glove off with his teeth before disappearing backstage and the crowd went WILD (including me). Yuki was like “umm idk how to follow that…” but did his usual cute Mamoru waves and had a big smile. Sho had left the stage first so he didn’t see the glove thing lol. Hide was the last to leave. He stuck his hand inside his jacket and “pulled out” a finger heart which was cute~

[phanlight]

The Boy on the Blue Moon Dreams of Sun

prompt: dan is a theatre kid who hasn't had his first kiss but has to kiss someone for a show. he doesn't want his first kiss to be wasted so he tries to get it done properly beforehand & he meets phil and w/e you can take it from there!!!

““Tell you what,” Phil leans into him, and Dan can smell his cologne. “We’re gonna come back up here again, okay? And you’re gonna tell me about yourself. Properly, this time.

Dan frowns. “Isn’t that what we’ve spent the past ten minutes doing?”

“Yeah,” Phil says. “The only difference being next time we do this, I’m going to ban you from saying the word ‘acting’. So I can hear about you, the real you, and not whoever you pretend to be for a living.”

-

GUESS WHICH BITCH IS BACK AND WRITING AGAIN (spoiler: IT ME)

I thought it was about time I branched out a bit and tried my hand at a theatre au. This was so much fun to write (albeit kinda hard as despite being a literature student my Romeo and Juliet knowledge is a little subpar lmao lets hope I at least sort of did it justice tho) and deffo has more than ur daily dosage of angsty teenage actor!dan so look forward to that. thank u to the lovely anon who prompted me with this! (also yes i’m still relying on ptv lyrics for my song titles after 3 years sh)

Also I’m sorry if the writing in this is a lil inconsistent. I started this fic literally over a year ago and abandoned it for ages before finding and continuing it again. The first half was written in literally like mid 2016 (from which point my writing has obv improved a lot) and since then I’ve been working on it sporadically so if it feels like halfway through my writing style suddenly changes then that’s why OOPS soz

This was not supposed to be this long im so sorry wtf 13k ??? fuks sake

It’s the first time Dan’s ever been pissed off with being cast a lead role in a play.

He usually loves it – he loves the attention, loves having a ripped up script full of highlighted lines and more soliloquies to memorise than he can even keep count of. He shines under the warmth of the spotlight, lapping up the attention like a hungry cat, and when the applause ripples throughout the audience at the end, he can’t get enough of the sound.

It’s just- well, there’s one problem with his part.

It’s nothing he has against Romeo, not necessarily, and the piece itself is okay – Dan’s copy of the popular play in question is already crumpled with annotations; small post-it notes spilling fluorescent colours out of every crease (studying English literature alongside Drama always comes in handy as far as Shakespeare is concerned) and Romeo has a decent amount to say.

The problem is, he’s going to have to kiss someone.

Dan Howell, the one who snaps up almost every single role he auditions for, the one with a clay personality that can be moulded perfectly into whatever role he’s going for next, the one who lives the stage and breathes the lights, who was once described as ‘the heart and soul’ of the local theatre, is going to have to kiss someone.

And believe it or not, Dan Howell, the same seventeen-year-old who breezes through auditions leaving a flutter of girls at his feet, the same guy who was once rumoured to have made out with three people at the Les Miserables afterparty and the same guy who once had to reject two people in one night, has never actually kissed anyone before. Not properly, anyway.

Granted, he’s been extremely close to it a fair few times – having been in and out of auditions and callbacks since the age of about five, he’s come into contact with a considerable number of roles that involve love interests; only last month was his character Eddie supposed to kiss the love of his life, Alexandra, in the back of a car at a drive-in cinema. It was a play that one of the drama students had written; set in the fifties, all red-and-white ice cream parlours and hand jives and high school dances and Marilyn Monroe posters. Dan had enjoyed playing his part, and not just because it was the only opportunity he’d get to sport a black leather jacket (though he did decide leather looked really quite hot on him after that play. It’s almost a shame he’s vegetarian), but because the minor obstacle could, like every single other time, be solved with a stage kiss. Just a few seconds of his back to the audience, being agonisingly close to someone else’s lips, before pulling away and raking though his mind to try and remember the next line. It’s always worked for him, every time.

Except for this. Because the director, a Lucy Howcroft with a loud voice and a bossy personality, has only gone and booked them the Round at the Old Vic theatre. Which would be fine, of course it would; it’s one of the most popular theatres in the city and the theatre group is going to get a huge reputation for this afterwards, but it’s not so handy as far as stage-kissing is concerned. When you’re being stared at from every angle three-hundred-and-sixty degrees around, there’s no way you can get away with only partially leaning in to kiss.

“Are you sure there’s no way around this?” Dan had insisted when he’d stolen a moment after rehearsal to talk to Lucy. She’d been clearing her desk – a papery mountain range, and had looked a bit too busy to talk, but Dan would rather discuss this with her one-on-one instead of having to voice his feelings with twenty other pairs of eyes staring at him.

“For someone who just bagged yet another lead role, I would’ve thought you’d be a little more gracious than this,” Lucy had muttered, snapping a file shut. “I didn’t have to cast you, y’know.”

“It’s not- I am grateful, you know I am, it’s just-“

“Is there a problem with the casting of Juliet?” she’d offered, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” Dan had insisted. “She’s fine.”

“The costume, then?” she’d tried. “I’m not a bloody mind reader, Dan. Help me out a bit here.”

Dan had shut his eyes and taken a deep breath, trying to comb the tangle of words in his head into some kind of coherent sentence.

“I mean- I just- the venue,” he gulped. “It’s- there’s a bit of a problem.”

“What about it?” Lucy sighed, irritation tracing the edges of her tone. “I fail to see what’s so problematic about getting a slot at the Old Vic of all places, but if you have any objections, then do enlighten me.”

“It’s not that, it’s just-“ Dan gulped, not really too sure how far he’s going to get with this. The bitterness already in her tone didn’t sound at all promising. “I don’t know. Do we have to perform in the round?”

“Christ, is performing in one of the most popular theatres in London that much of a chore?”

“No, no, I just-“ he gulped, trying to work out how the hell he’d word this without sounding like a twat. “I’ve never really… you know. Performed in an environment like that before.”

“You’ve been acting for twelve years,” she said bluntly. “I’m sure you have enough experience to be able to deal with a round stage instead of a rectangular one.”

“But- like, isn’t the round meant for- like… you know, Greek plays and shit?”

“It used to be,” she’d said, taking care to apply extra emphasis on the past tense. “Since when were you so hung up on the traditions of theatre, anyway?” she’d added after a pause. “Only last week were you totally in favour of the idea of having a rap battle in the middle of Othello.”

Dan had frowned, because that wasn’t really fair – sure, a rap battle isn’t exactly a common feature of Shakespeare’s plays, but no one could deny that Louis, playing Iago, was pretty good at freestyling whenever a mic was thrown in his direction. Despite not adhering to the conventions of traditional English theatre, it certainly made the play more entertaining.

“It’s just gonna be- you know. It’s gonna take some getting used to,” he’d mumbled instead.

“You have three months to get used to it,” she’d pointed out. “I’m sure you and the rest of the cast will have familiarised yourself with it by the time the production comes around.”

“But- the round is traditionally meant for-“

“Look, if you’re going to get so archaic about it, I can always build a time machine, book the open-air Globe for, like, sometime four-hundred years ago, and you can spend the next three days picking rotten tomatoes out of your hair,” she said. “Does that sound better?”

“They only did that to bad actors,” Dan had pointed out. Lucy rolled her eyes.

“And you know what makes a good actor, Dan?” she retorted. “Flexibility. The willingness to branch out of your comfort zone.”

Dan had sighed. He’s not going to get anywhere with this, is he?

“You know what?” he’d finally shaken his head, defeated. “Forget it.”

She watched him turn on his heel with a raised eyebrow. “See you Tuesday, then? First read-through of the script is at eleven in the morning.”

“See you then,” Dan muttered, not even bothering to turn around.

He let the door slam behind him.

It’s not that Dan doesn’t want to kiss anyone – (quite the contrary, really. He loves the idea of it, loves the thought of someone’s lips pressed up against his, the world slowing down around them and his heart feeling like fire. He’s always tried to incorporate that feeling into his acting, letting his passion leak into every character he’s cast, but when the stage lights are off and the curtain is down, his attraction to his colleagues ends there) – it’s just- well, he doesn’t really think he’s found the right person to share the real experience with, yet. His fellow actors and actresses aren’t unattractive by any means, but he doesn’t look at any of them and find himself struck by the desire to taste their lips and whisper incoherence into their ears like Eddie was supposed to do in the back of that car.

Seventeen, and still hasn’t had his first kiss. Still doesn’t want to waste it, at that.

Pathetic.

-

Technicians don’t get paid enough, Phil thinks.

He’s spent the day holed up in the trap room, devouring what was left in the back of the fridge (including a half-opened pack of Doritos that tasted like they expired about five years ago) and puzzling over this fucking broken light board that everyone had very kindly left him to take care of. It had already taken him over half an hour to get one of the chunky old Mac laptops up and running again (seriously, who in this day and age is still using an iBook?) and even then it only really half-functions – a handful of keys are missing, the trackpad only ever seems to work when it feels like it, and there’s a huge hairline crack right across the screen. Phil’s spent so long cursing through gritted teeth and smacking the table in frustration every time the damn thing freezes that it wouldn’t come as a surprise if he ended up contributing to those cracks by the end of the day. Maybe that’s how they ended up there in the first place.

“You alright?” the door suddenly opens and a voice – Nick, Phil presumes, breaks the aching silence that the room has been blanketed in for the past four hours. Finally, Phil sighs, feeling a pinch of anger melt away. Human company.

“Been better,” Phil mumbles, popping a couple of grapes into his mouth. Been better, he scoffs to himself. He’s pretty sure he hasn’t been worse.

“Chuck me a coke, will you?” he pulls up a chair and puts his feet on it, perching on the edge of the table. Phil heaves out a sigh – that involves getting up – but musters up enough energy to lean over and yank the fridge open. He tosses him a can, and Nick catches it expertly.

“Nice of you to show up,” Phil rolls his eyes. “Only four hours late this time. That’s an hour and a half off your personal best.”

“They said they didn’t need me here ‘till three,” he protests, popping the can open and taking a few gulps. “They said you had it all under control.”

His sentence is punctuated by a burp. Phil grimaces.

“Under control,” Phil snorts. That’ll be the fucking day.

“What did they leave you here to do?” he frowns.

“Only fix this entire fucking thing,” Phil nods over to the stupid light board. God, he’s sick of the sight of it. “Beats me what’s wrong with it. I’ve only just managed to get this dinosaur up and running,” he gestures to the corpse of a laptop in front of him, “let alone look at that.”

“Fuck me, man,” Nick sighs out a heavy breath. “If I knew, I could have come in earlier to help you out a bit. You should have texted me.”

“It’s fine,” Phil sighs even though- well, it’s not, really. There’s only so many hours of broken technology and out-of-date food one can take. “It’s not your fault,” he adds truthfully.

“They’re twats sometimes, aren’t they?” Nick lowers his voice, despite the fact they’re literally underground here, beneath the earshot of everyone.

“I’ll say,” Phil widens his eyes, trying to click something and- nope, it’s fucking frozen again. “For fuck’s sake. They’re all bloody loaded, too. You would have thought with the money they have, they could fork out a little for equipment that at least half-functions, right?”

“Yup,” Nick sighs. “Guess bookings for overpriced fancy-ass theatres are higher up on their agenda, though.”

Phil can’t argue with that. Apparently they’re going to have to wire up something in the Old Vic, of all places, next week. Phil dreads to think how much hiring that place out for even a few hours is going to cost, let alone booking it for three nights.

Probably more than enough to buy a better fucking laptop.

-

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief,

That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.

Be not her maid since she is envious.

Her vestal livery is but sick and green,

And none but-“

“No- no,” Lucy holds up her hand. “Come on, Dan. More emotion than that. You’re telling the love of your life that even the moon is envious of her beauty. At least pretend to put some passion into it.”

Dan rolls his eyes – only the fourth time he’s had to repeat this fucking soliloquy in the past fifteen minutes. He’s pretty sure he’s only one “no, no, it’s too (insert adjective here)” away from giving up with this whole thing altogether. He’d rather have played Benvolio anyway.

“Come on,” Lucy continues. “We’ll take it from Be not her maid…”

Dan shuts his eyes, scrapes up the remaining traces of his sanity, and takes another breath.

“Be not her maid since she is envious.

Her vestal livery is but sick and green,

And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off!

It is my lady. Oh, it is my love.

Oh, that she knew she were!

She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?

Her eye discourses. I will answer it.—

I am too bold. 'Tis not to me she speaks.

Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,

Having some business, do entreat her eyes

To twinkle in their spheres till they retur-“

“No, no-“ she interrupts him again and for fuck’s sake, at this rate, Dan won’t even need to spend any time in his bedroom going over his lines. He’s pretty sure he’s memorised half of the monologues already just from recapping in rehearsals alone.

“Come on, really feel it,” she pleads. “You can’t say something as romantic as that with a face like yours – you’re literally saying that two stars in the sky have gone away and they’re asking Juliet’s eyes to shine in their place until they return.”

Dan balls his fists, ready to snap back that yes, he’s fully fucking aware of what’s going on in the play thank you very much, in case she hadn’t forgotten he did actually study it for three separate exams and subsequent exposure to the text in question has made him rather familiar with the occurrences currently taking place, but they’re all interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Come in,” Lucy huffs, mildly irritated.

The door knob jitters, then twists.

“Hiya,” a black-haired boy nods tiredly, pushing through the crack in the door. Dan immediately recognises him – one of the tech guys, he thinks, but he isn’t entirely certain. He’s never really spoken to any of the crew before; they tend to keep well out of the limelight (they’d rather control it instead).

“Everything okay?” Lucy asks, before turning to Dan and Alexandra (his Juliet). “You two, take five. Be ready to take it from the top.”

They both relax and take a seat on one of the upturned wooden boxes. It isn’t until Dan takes the weight off of his legs he realises how much they’ve been aching – fuck, he really needs to get back to that gym.

“Any luck?” she says to Mr. Black-Hair. He’s holding a laptop that looks as if it’s seen better years, never mind days, and a long cord of wire that snakes around his fist.

“Nothing at all,” he sighs, flicking a strand of his fringe out of his eyes. His hair looks as if it hasn’t seen a hairbrush for days, but there’s something about the way it sits shaggily on his head that kind-of suits him (Dan wishes he could pull off messy hair – he only attempted ditching the straighteners once and spent the rest of the day wondering if any birds had mistaken his head for a nest).

He doesn’t realise he’s been staring until he catches the tail end of Alexandra’s sentence and realises he hasn’t actually been listening for the past minute or so.

“What was that, sorry?”

“I asked you how you were finding Romeo so far,” she repeats.

“Hm? Oh yeah, yeah- he’s fine,” Dan says, not taking his eyes off of Mr. Black-Hair. He’s lost the thread of their conversation (he’s no lip reader) but by the looks of it, it seems as if there’s a problem with one of the laptops.

“Are you sure?” Alexandra frowns. Dan looks at her, but his glance is soon pulled back to the technician.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

She shrugs. “You don’t really- I don’t know, you just don’t seem to be… you know. That into it, y’know?”

“Wait-“ Dan shakes his head, trying to focus on their conversation instead of the one a few metres away from. “Hang on- what? What makes you say that?”

She raises her eyebrows, as if to say ‘really?’. Dan’s expression remains carefully blank.

“Come on, Dan. We wouldn’t have had to repeat this stupid scene like, five times if you were actually into it. I’ve seen you do way better than this.”

“Oh, not you as well,” Dan groans, deflating. He’s pretty sure that exact sentence had fallen from Lucy’s lips not so long ago. He’s sick of hearing it, sick of having to sit and listen to people tell him that he ‘can do way better’ and ask ‘is everything all right, Dan? Nothing bothering you, is there?’ because he’s just ‘not himself’ at the moment.

That’s the most ridiculous one, he thinks, because for Christ’s sake, he’s an actor. He’s never himself.

“No, I don’t mean it like that,” Alexandra says, backtracking. “You know I don’t. I just- I think I overheard Lucy say you had a problem with something or other last week?”

“Did you,” Dan mumbles, unable to keep the bitter sarcasm out of his town. Alexandra remains unfazed.

“What was that about, though?” she remains unfazed. “Nothing to do with the casting, is it?”

“You really think it’s to do with the casting?” Dan stares at her in disbelief, before scoffing. “Yeah, like, I’m gutted to have bagged the lead role alongside you at one of the best theatres in the country. How am I going to cope?”

Not entirely truthful, but not a complete lie either.

“Just making sure,” a grin tugs at her lips, and she flicks a curl of red hair behind her shoulders. “I don’t have much of a problem with it myself, to be honest.”

“That’s reassuring,” Dan smirks sarcastically, but his tone is fairly benign. There’s certainly no denying she’s fucking gorgeous and it’s really no wonder she’s Juliet – she has hair the colour of a sunset falling down her back in ruby curls, emerald eyes framed by a curl of long eyelashes and cherry red lips that stretch into a wide smile whenever Dan cracks a joke, giving way to a small dimple on the side of her cheek. Her skin is pale, the colour of moonlight, almost, and he idly thinks, just for a fleeting second, that the moon probably would be jealous of her. She’s beautiful.

“Certainly don’t have a problem with getting to snog you in front of a thousand people, I must be honest,” she adds, and Dan’s stomach drops and his grin vanishes. Shit.

He wrings out a laugh, internally wincing at how false it sounds. “Yeah, I- um-“

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” someone mutters a few footsteps away from them. He snaps his head up, and Lucy plus Mr. Black-Hair are hunched over the desk, clearly getting nowhere with the absolute disaster they call an iBook.

“Wait- what’s the problem?” Dan suddenly gets up. He feels a little bad for leaving Alexandra so abruptly so he throws her a little apologetic ‘be right back’ glance, but he can’t help it – he might actually be able to help, here.

He shoves down the other voice in the back of his mind, the ‘or rather you’re just grabbing at any opportunity to avoid any potential conversation about the kiss you fucking wimp’

“It’s okay, Dan, sit back down. I’ll be with you both in a second,” Lucy calls over her shoulder.

“No, really,” Dan insists. “I know a thing or two about Macs. I have one myself, and-“ he catches Lucy drawing in a breath, ready to protest, and he regrets the spill of words almost as soon as they come out – fuck, why can’t he just keep his mouth shut? – but Mr. Black-Hair turns around, an eyebrow quirked upwards.

“Really?” his stare is the colour of ice, the sky on a December morning, but it’s weirdly warm at the same time.

“I- uh, yeah,” Dan stutters when he remembers how to talk again. “I’ve always had Macs. They’re great when they decide to work, but they can be a bitch when they begin to act up, and-“ he cuts himself off with an awkward shrug, “yeah.”

“Tell me about it,” the technician smirks. “This bastard-” he nods to the chunky white rectangle in his arms, “took me like, half an hour to boot up alone. And now it’s been frozen for like- twice as long as that. I’ve only had chance to type in my password so far.”

Lucy’s still standing in the middle of them and it’s getting a bit difficult to ignore the stony glare burning into Dan’s peripheral vision right now and even harder to avoid eye contact with her, but it doesn’t stop him from offering some help, albeit rather inappropriately timed.

“I- um, have my MacBook with me if that helps?” Dan offers, trying not to feel the heat of his blush when Mr. Black-Hair looks straight at him. “I mean- if you don’t need it that’s fine, but like- it’ll function a bit better than that thing,” he shrugs. “I dunno. It would probably save you a lot of time.”

“Really?” he raises an eyebrow. “Like, with you right now?”

“Yeah,” Dan says. “I mean – I haven’t got my charger on me, but it’s on, like, eighty percent. Should be fine.”

“I mean-“ he throws a permission-seeking glance, towards Lucy, who Dan is pretty sure would be having steam coming out of her ears would it be humanly possible. She fixes Dan with a hard stare, a real ‘go on; be my guest’ look that’s always comes across as more of a dare than permission, a challenge for his conscience, but he can’t help an apologetic smile tugging at his lips.

“It’s cool with you, right?” his lips say before his mind catches up.

Lucy rolls her eyes in defeat. “If you absolutely must. But only- only because I could do with the extra time to independently go over one of Alexandra’s soliloquy.”

His face breaks out into a grin, and he’s not that sure why. “Thanks, Luce. I owe you one.”

“Don’t you make a habit of this, though. Remember; this is your own rehearsal time you’re sacrificing.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dan calls over his shoulder, trailing off. Mr. Black-Hair holds the door open behind him, and suddenly they’re out of the rehearsal studio and walking in a weird mutual silence sitting in a strange middle ground between comfortable and uncomfortable, across the car park and over to the actual theatre.

“Are you alright to do this, yeah?” Mr. Black-Hair (Dan seriously needs to come up with more imaginative mental nicknames for people) breaks the silence on their walk down to the trap room.

“It’s no problem at all,” he smirks as another wooden step groans under his foot. “Anything to get out of rehearsal.”

Dan’s never really been here before, never touched the underground territory where the technicians lurked, but there’s something about the atmosphere of this place that grips him.

-

Half an hour passes, and Dan couldn’t really tell you why he’s still sitting down here, still sitting on a revolving chair with a rip in the upholstery, under half-broken beams, tables that look like they’re seconds away from collapsing, and a lot of weird technology that he’d never even attempt to get his head around (seriously – do they even need this many buttons?). He’d given his laptop to Black Hair to receive a very emphatic ‘thank you, like seriously you’re a fucking lifesaver if I spent a second longer with that piece of shit I really don’t know what I would have done’ and the job had been done in seconds. Since then, a casual conversation had been struck up and Dan finds he doesn’t actually want to go back upstairs just yet.

“You two sounded really good in there,” Black Hair comments. They’d been talking about the play. “From what I heard, anyway.”

“Thanks,” Dan says, trying to ignore the quiet blush that warms his cheeks. There’s nothing quite like someone complimenting his acting. “Clearly not good enough for Lucy, though.”

“Few things are, Dan,” he sighs, and Dan only finds it half-weird that this guy knows his name, but Dan doesn’t actually know his. It’s unnerving, sure, but nothing he’s a stranger to. “She’s been on at you all morning.”

“Yeah,” Dan pauses, before adding an apologetic “sorry, I- um, I don’t think I caught your name?”

“It’s fine. I’m Phil,” he grins, and Dan thanks his lucky stars there’s finally a name to put to the face.

Dan studies him briefly, and frowns. “You do look familiar, actually.”

“Yeah – I do all the donkey work downstairs,” he grins. “You may have seen me emerge from the cave every now and then.”

Dan chuckles, deciding there and then that he likes Phil.

“Doesn’t it get lonely?” Dan asks, studying the square lights looming above them, one of which he notices is stuttering slightly, flickering on and off every now and then.

Phil shrugs, not taking his eyes off of the screen. “Kinda. But I mean – I have my little crew down here, y’know? There’s five of us. We just like- keep each other company. Help each other whenever we need to,” he glances at Dan. “Oh, and sneak up to the theatre and watch you guys every now and then.”

Dan giggles. “Brilliant. Must be a nice little community, though.”

“Yeah, it is,” Phil hesitates. “Or perhaps ‘support group’ might be a more appropriate term. For the poor sods who have to put up with shitty laptops and gross food.”

Dan laughs, and helps himself to another Dorito.

-

“Okay, right- Dan, sorry if this sounds a bit weird because- like, we’ve pretty much only just met, but like- um- I was wondering if you wanted to-“

“Phil,” Dan cuts him off. As an actor, there’s something about hearing people stutter and ramble without really saying anything that tends to grate on him. “I’d love to.”

“Really? Well, I-“ Phil stops and frowns. “Hang on a second. How did you know I was gonna ask you to hang out?”

Dan shrugs like he hasn’t spent the last thirteen years mastering the sciences of body language and speech and how they can be applied to the acting world. “Lucky guess, I suppose.”

Phil smiles. “I mean- would you? Like, really?”

“Of course,” Dan says.

“Well yeah, like- I don’t have to be home for a while yet, and I have a car so we could just like- drive around for a bit? Go to town if you want?”

Dan smiles, and repeats what he said before he even knew what Phil was going to say.

“Yeah. I’d love to.”

-                                          

It’s a bit of a weird result to come out of lending his laptop to a stranger for a while, but it’s how Dan finds himself spending the evening sat in the passenger seat on the top of a car park roof, blasting some weird indie song from the depth of Phil’s Spotify and watching the sun sink further behind the buildings, painting the sky warmer with every slow minute that passes on the dashboard clock.

They’d had a drive around the city together, sometimes talking, sometimes letting lulls in the conversation give way to thoughtful silences, both of them tapping away to Phil’s music taste, but Dan thinks it’s been about fifteen minutes since either of them last said anything.

“So,” Phil is the first to break the silence. He flicks the last of his cigarette out of the window (Dan had insisted on rolling down the windows before he did that – there’s no way he’s going home stinking of an ashtray). “Tell me about yourself.”

Dan looks up from his phone at that, his heart thudding.

“You what?”

“You know,” Phil’s gaze doesn’t move, his eyes fixed on the view in front of the windscreen. They’d picked a spot at the very top of a multi-storey car park overlooking everything, leaving the city a pool of lights and colours and life far beneath them. “I don’t really know you. So tell me about yourself.”

“I- um-“ Dan gulps. This wasn’t really a question he came prepared for. He shrugs. “I don’t really know what there is to tell, if I’m honest.”

“Oh, now come on,” Phil presses. “Just- anything. Your hobbies. Your life. Your dreams. What you want to be when you’re older.”

“I feel like I’m in a bloody job interview,” Dan chuckles. Phil’s lips quirk upwards in response.

“You are. I’m interviewing you to see if you’re fit for the job of being mates with me.”

“The ‘job’?” Dan frowns. “Like it’s a chore?”

“That’s for you to decide,” Phil grins. “Now, come on. I wanna hear about you.”

Dan gulps, silence falling for the first time in a while.

“I- um, well I think my hobby is probably pretty obvious, for a start,” Dan begins. Phil rolls his eyes. “And what I wanna be when I’m older, too. I’m gonna do a degree in Drama, I reckon.”

“What else are you into, then?”

Dan stops for a second. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on,” Phil presses, flicking his lighter and sparking up another cigarette. “You must have other interests besides acting. You got a girlfriend?”

Dan clams up. “Um- no.”

“Oh. Boyfriend, then?” he quirks his eyebrows, and Dan shakes his head miserably.

“Afraid not.”

“Glad we established that,” Phil smirks, but Dan doesn’t really smile back.

He chews on the inside of his lip, having a staring contest with a pair of headlights sliding across one of the roads beneath them.

“What music are you into, then?”

Dan swallows, trying to think. It’s like someone’s scraped over his mind with an eraser, rubbing out his interests and his life and his personality, all pencilled in with weak lines.

“Oh, you know,” he shrugs. “This and that. I like whatever this is,” he nods to the Spotify track on Phil’s phone. “Bit of Indie, it’s good. Oh, and I love- what are they called? Pink Floyd?”

“Floyd’s good,” Phil agrees. “And Nirvana.”

“Yeah,” Dan gulps, feeling another silence probe the conversation.

“You into the Smashing Pumpkins?”

Dan shakes his head.

“Oh, okay. Slaves?”

Dan shakes his head again.

“Genesis?”

“Never even heard of them.”

“Cobalt Night?”

Dan shakes his head again

Phil cackles. “Oh Christ. You do realise I made that last band up?”

“Oh god,” Dan can feel his cheeks burn peony. “I’m not doing myself any favours here, am I?”

“Don’t worry, I’m only messing with you,” Phil says. “I think it would be more embarrassing if you said yes, to be honest.”

“True,” Dan shrugs, feeling Phil’s stare burn into his side profile. He sits back further in his seat, keeping his stare.

“You’re not really into much, are you?

Dan shrugs.

“I’m more into Musical Theatre, really. Ever since we did a production of Hamilton I haven’t really been able to get that rap out of my head,” he chuckles.

“Right,” Phil sits up a little bit and clears his throat. “Well we’ve established your music taste and your hobby. Who are your favourite actors, then?”

It’s like someone’s flicked a switch inside Dan. His eyes light up.

“-and Leonardo DiCaprio, oh my God, don’t even get me started on him. I mean- who wouldn’t fuck young Leo? Have you even seen him in Titanic? And Romeo and Juliet too, Jesus Christ he’s gorgeous. He’s so fucking gorgeous. I’m not gonna do Romeo’s role any justice when he’s my competition, am I?”

Phil just nods and says the odd ‘hm’, listening to Dan’s stream of consciousness.

“-and Helena Bonham-Carter, what a fucking legend, man. She’s just- her character is just so versatile, you know? I mean- there’s a good reason she’s in literally everything, and that’s because she’s fucking amazing- have you seen Fight Club? You must have seen it, it’s incredible. She’s incredible. It’s a bit of a mind fuck if I’m honest, what with the split personality thing and everything, but- oh God, Brad Pitt is so good in it too. And he’s pretty hot, I’m not gonna lie. Well, until he grew out his hair and looked a bit like a farmer. But- where was I? Oh yeah, Helena Bonham Carter-”

“She was good in Sweeney Todd, too,” Phil comments, and he’s off again.

“-like, that was the first time I ever saw Johnny Depp act, and by Christ that film creeped me out. I mean- I was only like, seven when I watched it so of course it was gross, like, what seven year old watches people do- you know, that, to paying customers? I feel sorry for the poor sods who just went in there wanting to give their beards a trim. But- yeah, they were both really good in Sweeney Todd. I had a bit of a crush on Helena- and Johnny too, for that matter, I mean come on, who didn’t? But then I found out Johnny Depp is a bit of a dick in real life so I went off him after that. But Helena’s still cool, obviously.”

“She��s good, yeah,” Phil nibbles at a protruding hangnail on his thumb.

“And- oh god, who’s another good actor? Oh, don’t even get me started on Morgan Freeman. Absolute fucking legend. Like, oh my god. Him and that other one- god, what’s his name? The guy from Donnie Darko?”

Dan’s brain is moving far too quickly for Phil to keep up and he has no idea what the correlation between Morgan Freeman and Donnie Darko is, but he gives it a shot anyway.

“Jake Gyllenhaal?”

“Yes. Yes, oh my god, that’s the one,” Dan’s face breaks out into a grin. “Fuck, Donnie Darko. What a film, man. My friend has a tattoo of it, and-“

It continues like this, Dan chatting nineteen-to-the-dozen and Phil counting the glitters of passion in his eyes, before they’re both interrupted by a buzzing on Dan’s lap.

“Oh shit,” he grabs his phone. “It’s my mum.”

Phil doesn’t know what she’s saying on the other end of the line, but judging by Dan’s apologies it sounds like he’s stayed out here for a little too long.

“Sorry,” Dan mumbles, tugging on his seatbelt. “Lost track of time a bit, there.”

“Clearly,” Phil grins.

“This was good, though,” Dan says. “Like, really good. Thanks for, you know. Suggesting this.”

“Tell you what,” Phil leans into him, and Dan can smell his cologne. “We’re gonna come back up here again soon, okay? And you’re gonna tell me about yourself. Properly, this time.

Dan frowns. “Isn’t that what I’ve spent the past like- hour doing?” he glances at the clock and shit, has it really been that long? It’s pitch black outside, the only light coming from the glitter of the city beneath them (shit, it really is beautiful from up here) and he was supposed to be home forty-five minutes ago.

“Yeah,” Phil says, starting up the engine. “The only difference being next time we do this, I’m going to ban you from saying the word ‘acting’. So I can hear about you, the real you, and not whoever you pretend to be for a living.”

-

The next few days pass in a blur of line-learning, enduring Lucy’s lectures about how he just ‘isn’t putting enough ‘oomph’ into it, come on now, we’ll take it from the top one more time’ and Dan has to act like he actually gives more of a shit about what Romeo’s saying right now than what Phil had said in that car a few days ago. He has to act like it isn’t what he’d been reciting over and over in his mind, the words digging grooves into the back of his mind and making themselves at home.

He has to act like there’s more to his fucking life than acting.

-

The next time Dan sees Phil, they’re both cooped up in a control room eating lunch in a companionable silence; Dan going over his lines and Phil puzzling over these two wires that are, according to him, sly bastards that won’t fucking go in these holes Jesus Christ, to which Dan had shut his eyes and prayed to god no-one outside the room had caught that out of context. There’s a huge control panel, rows and rows of buttons and sound mixers and, as Dan had very accurately christened them, “slidey-things” in front of them. He has no idea what any of this stuff is, no idea what a “cross-fader” is or what the hell a “submaster” is supposed to do, but every now and then Phil will casually lean over and flick a switch or press a button and a stage light beneath them will change.

“What’s up?”

Dan looks up from his script. He’s been poring over his lines for so long he’s pretty sure stripes of yellow highlighter are now permanently inked into the back of his mind, now.

“What? Nothing.”

Phil swings his legs off of the bar they’d been resting against. They’re halfway through sharing a KitKat (Dan had taken a trip down to the Co-op at the beginning of the lunch break and returned with a bag so heavy with food it had left a dent in his hand, insisting Phil can’t be living on stale crisps his entire life) and watching a rehearsal, one Dan doesn’t have to be in for once, through a pane of glass.

“You’re going to have to do better if you want to convince me, Mr. Theatre Kid,” Phil reaches over to the bowl in front of them and plucks a grape from the stem. “I thought you were good at acting.”

“What do you want me to do; leap up and perform a jig?” Dan turns a page, the paper rustling a bit too loudly. “I’m fine, Phil. Stop reading into things too much.”

Phil stares at him. “You’re sat there with a face as long as my leg, and I’m reading into things?” he quirks an eyebrow. “Be careful. If you stare at that page any longer it’ll probably burst into flames.”

“Shut up,” Dan mutters, the edge in his voice a little too sharp for it to slip by as a joke.

Phil does.

Dan sighs. “Sorry, I just-“

“Rehearsals getting to you?” he suggests softly. Dan doesn’t plan on letting the real problem slip; Christ, he can only imagine the havoc that would ensue if it got around that as well as obsessing over acting he’s also never actually kissed anyone, so he quickly takes Phil up on that.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I mean- Romeo’s a good character to play, I guess, but he does have an awful lot to say.”

“You’ll be okay,” Phil reassures him. “You still have months of time left to memorise your lines. When’s the play?”

“Seventh of February,” Dan says. Two months from now.

“There we go,” Phil says. “You have plenty of time yet.”

“I guess so,” Dan shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“You’ve done this millions of times before,” Phil says. “You’ll be fine; I know you will. You’re a natural.”

Dan wishes he knew the half, he really does, but there’s just something about Phil’s smile that makes him almost want to believe him.

-

Dan manages to tell Phil a little bit more about himself next time they’re on the roof together, and in return, he learns a bit about Phil too.

“Well, when I was acti-“

“Nuh-uh,” Phil interrupts him. “No acting talk, remember?”

Dan rolls his eyes. “It’s relevant to what I was gonna say. It’s an important part of the story.”

“Wherever the hell you can fit acting into a story about you and your friends getting drunk and stealing a supermarket trolley because you couldn’t afford a taxi, I’d be very impressed.”

“You’d be surprised,” Dan grins, and that was the only time acting came into conversation that night.

-

Dan learns Phil is eighteen, that he’d failed his driving test three times before passing because he was driving on the wrong side of the dual carriageway, and swears he’s going to give up smoking next year, he promises. He learns that his favourite colour is blue because he likes the way the colour skates across the ocean water in the summer, and that he used to be scared of dogs before his parents got him a puppy for Christmas, a bouncy Labrador called Daisy with a love for the sun and walks down to the beach.

“I fucking love dogs,” Dan beams.

“So do I, now. Took me long enough,” Phil agrees, taking a drag of his cigarette. “Daisy’s so cute, oh my god. You will love her.”

Dan doesn’t say anything, but there’s something about the definite use of ‘you will’ that he likes.

He, in turn, finds that he does have some thoughts and feelings and dreams hidden away in there, beneath the façade of scripts and stage lights and acting. He finds he does have stuff to say, stuff that isn’t always attached to a web stringing back to the theatre. He tells Phil all about his cat, Ozzy (a little shit who takes great pleasure in knocking all his belongings off of his desk and sleeping on his laptop, but he loves him anyway) his annoying next-door neighbours who don’t seem to see any problem with blasting ABBA at three in the morning, and they manage to find common bands they both like. Oasis is playing when the sun sinks, the sky darkens, and the city lights up beneath them.

“God, I love this one,” Phil mumbles, his speech obscured by the cigarette hanging out of his mouth. “Don’t Look Back In Anger. It’s one of their best.”

“Oh god, yeah,” Dan agrees, tapping along to the chorus. “That and Stand By Me. Oh god, and Champagne Supernova, too.”

Phil grins at that, and leans forward, picking his phone up from the dashboard. Before Dan has a chance to question him, the chorus stops dead in its tracks, and an acoustic softness follows the sudden silence, a series of guitar chords that are just that bit too familiar. He grins.

“I always think the intro sounds a bit like Wonderwall,” Phil comments, putting his phone down and leaning back in the seat.

“Yeah,” Dan sighs, leaning back in his own seat and turning his gaze to the city beneath them, staring at lights and roads and buildings until they pool into a hazy amber blur in his vision.

How many special people change,

How many lives are living strange,

Where were you while we were getting high?

Slowly walking down the hall,

Faster than a cannonball

Where were you while we were getting high?

 Someday you will find me,

Caught beneath the landslide,

In a champagne supernova in the sky.

Someday you will find me,

Caught beneath the landslide,

In a champagne supernova;

A champagne supernova in the sky.

They don’t say anything, instead letting Liam Gallagher do the talking, but sly glances are exchanged from under brown fringes and black eyelashes.

-

“Nice up here, isn’t it?”

It’s only until Phil breaks the silence they’ve lapsed into that Dan realises the song has drawn to a close. He slides his gaze from the city and over to Phil, over to his thoughtful stare skating along the skyline, the ruffled sweep of black hair coating his fringe, and the orange glow of a cigarette tip poking out of the corner of his mouth. His eyes flicker over to Dan’s.

Dan looks back over to the city.

“Yeah.”

“I always come up here.”

“I can see why.”

“Yeah, well. Sometimes a little look over the city is just what you need to clear your head. It just puts everything in perspective, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Dan swallows. “It really does.”

There’s a litter of thoughts and worries in his mind, buried deep and multiplying with every day that drags past, every day that pulls him closer and closer to the production, to the hundreds of burning stares in the audience seats, to his colleague’s lips. He’s been longing for a break from it. Just a few hours of silence, a few quiet moments that don’t have to be spent combing over every single thought in his head, thinking and thinking until it inflates into anxiety, spilling into the pit of his stomach and clawing at the edges as it goes.

And the more he counts the city lights, the more he feels the cold night air stroke his cheeks and the engines reverberating around the car park levels beneath them, the more he reckons a more few nights up here. It’s the remedy he needs; just him, Phil and the lights.

Their eyes meet seconds after, and Dan can feel the question he’s vowed to ask Phil before the end of the night already beginning to rest on his lips, on the cusp of speech.

“When can we do this again?”

-

The late nights begin to pass more frequently in a spinning blur of city nights, passenger seats and conversations, all whispers and cold air and stolen glances. Dan can feel himself unravelling like a threadbare blanket, his carefully constructed personas and characters fraying at the edges with every hour spent up on the top of the city with a boy whose lips spill truths like water, and it isn’t long until Dan finds cracks in his paper personalities and begins to feel more and more honesty begin to seep through. He finds that no, he doesn’t have to spin false anecdotes like cotton and lie about his interests and find a way of linking everything back to acting, hooking every little quirk and element to his personality back to the stage. He doesn’t have to impress Phil with his knowledge of Hollywood throughout the years and he doesn’t have to act like he loves things he’s never actually heard of and he doesn’t have to lock his feelings away and throw away the key.

He doesn’t have to pretend.

-

It’s all okay until they fall onto the topic of previous relationships.

It’s been a good night. They’d visited the car park again, but this time without the car (it was warm enough to leave it in the driveway and make their own way up the concrete staircases, glass bottles in plastic bags clinking around their legs). They’d situated themselves in the very same parking space, the one second to the right and next to a beacon, but they’d traded car seats for a picnic blanket, headlights for phone torches and gear sticks for bottle openers.

“Yeah, like- fuck, she wasn’t a good kisser at all, was Mary. I mean- we were in year nine and she tried, bless her, and God knows so did I. But you know, with that as my first impression of kissing, when it was over I was like ‘what the fuck is all the fuss about?’” Phil chuckles, and Dan pretends to grin.

“Yeah, I mean-“ he shrugs, staring down at his lap. “I’ve had my fair share of bad kisses in my time.”

The ease with which the lie rolls off of his tongue almost takes him by surprise. It’s been a while since he’s lied about himself to Phil, and it feels strange.

“I can imagine,” Phil says, before frowning. “But you’re an actor. So you must be an excellent kisser, right? What with all the practice you guys have.”

Dan frowns, looking up from his bottle. “You what?”

“Oh come on. I saw what went on in the back of that car last term. Eddie and Alexandra. That play involved more lip-on-lip action than the fucking Notebook.”

Dan smiles at that, remembering the play adaptation they actually did of that when he was in year ten. He doesn’t quite know whether to laugh or cry over the sheer amount of starring roles he’s had that are heavily eloped in some kind of romantic storyline.

“Us actors have our techniques,” he says carefully.

Phil’s eyes widen at that. “You do? Like what?”

Dan shrugs, taking another sip of beer. “Oh, you know.”

“No, I don’t know,” Phil shuffles closer, a flicker of eagerness in his cerulean stare and shit, Dan’s beginning to regret opening his mouth now. “Come on. What techniques do you have? I could use a few tips myself.”

Dan raises an eyebrow, his eyes firmly locked onto the spread of amber lights in front of them.

“I doubt you’d ever want to use these kinds of techniques on anyone,” he says, a hint of humour drying his speech. “I imagine stage-kissing on a real date would be quite a deal-breaker.”

“Stage kissing, huh?” Phil widens his eyes. “How does that differentiate from a real kiss, then?”

“Well,” Dan takes another sip of his drink, his vision beginning to slow down. “First of all, it’s not really a kiss at all.”

“Huh?” Phil frowns.

“I mean- not usually. There are different kinds of stage-kisses, but most of them don’t involve, you know,” he smirks, reusing Phil’s rather vulgar term of “lip-on-lip action”.

“So you guys don’t actually kiss?” Phil asks.

Dan shakes his head. “Nope.”

“But-… how does that work?”

Alcoholic courage swims through Dan’s veins at that. He glances at Phil.

The words are a whisper, a dare almost, and it isn’t until Phil nods that Dan realises he’s actually said it out loud.

“Want me to show you?”

“Yeah, go on,” Phil’s tone is casual, soft almost, but his eyes are glittering.

“Okay, well- come over here,” he beckons.

Phil does as he’s told, shuffling up on his knees until he’s facing Dan.

“One of the actors needs to have their back to the audience,” Dan says. “So, let’s say the wall over there is the audience,” he nods over Phil’s shoulder to the stretch of concrete watching them.

“Alright. The wall’s the audience. Now what?”

“Now,” Dan gulps, feeling his heart begin to pick up the pace because shit, this is really happening now. “So, what you do is, like, just lean in normally for a kiss, but stop just as your lips are about to touch.”

Phil scoffs. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Look, do you want me to show you or not?”

“Nah, nah, I’m kidding,” Phil says. “C’mon, then. Show me how it’s done in Hollywood.”

“You dick,” Dan mumbles, but he’s leaning in.

Phil gets closer, his face begins to crawl up to Dan’s until their noses are brushing and his fringe is a tickle on Dan’s cheek and his breath mixes with Dan’s own, warm and languid through parted lips and fuck, Dan’s heart is really thudding now. His legs feel like jelly and his lungs feel like fire and there’s something warm and fiery swirling in the pit of his stomach, something alien, something that he’s certainly never felt before with any other colleague he’s come this agonisingly close to kissing.

They stay there for what feels like minutes, lips hovering, warmth tingling and the city still thundering beneath them, and it’s Phil who pulls away first.

“Impressive,” he smiles, eyes glittering with nonchalance. “Frustrating, but impressive. Is that your go-to one, then?”

It takes three swigs of beer to calm Dan down before he can speak again.

“I mean- um, yeah. Though sometimes if you’re, like, sitting really far over to the side in the audience you might be able to tell that they’re not actually kissing, so,” he shrugs. “It just depends on the stage, I guess.”

“Right,” Phil nods, swigging from his own bottle. “You, er- you mentioned a few other types, right?”

The thought of coming that close to Phil’s lips again sends the strange flame of warmth flooding back into Dan’s stomach. He all but chokes on his mouthful of drink.

“Er- yeah,” he stutters. “There are a few others,” he gulps again and shit, what’s up with him?

Dan doesn’t really know what’s happening, doesn’t know why being within a metre radius of this guy is already making him feel far more than he’d ever felt with any colleague, kissing or not, but it doesn’t stop him from beckoning the older boy over and showing him kiss number two, their lips locked together with nothing except Dan’s thumb in between them. He can feel the warmth of Phil’s mouth against his skin, the hot movement of Phil’s breath through his nose and the tickle of his hair against his cheek again. When he parts his mouth, Dan feels the tiniest touch of lip against his. It’s only the very corner and can’t have lasted for longer than a millisecond, but the feeling comes back like a spark to a flame and he’s beginning to find it difficult to balance and oh, shit.

They break apart, eyes searching each other’s, and it’s the first time Dan’s feeling like this post-‘kiss’ without having to throw on a character like an old shirt. He doesn’t have to follow anything up with someone else’s speech, with a fake accent and a stupid costume and a mannerism that doesn’t quite fit.

For once, he doesn’t feel like he has to act.

Phil narrows his eyes after a few silent seconds, fighting back a smirk.

Dan frowns, the post-stage kiss high beginning to melt away.

“What?”

“Is that seriously it?” Phil says.

“Yeah,” Dan moves away, trying to ignore the surge of electricity he had felt upon edging within a few millimetres of the other boy’s lips, the city a roar beneath them.

“I don’t know why I feel so disappointed,” Phil smirks. “From where I sit, looking at you lot doing all your stuff down on the stage, it looks a whole sight more realistic than that.”

Dan looks back out to the city.

“Yeah, well,” he says, feeling his heart slow down. “Acting isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

-

“So. You and Alexandra, eh?”

Dan glares at him. Dawn is beginning to throw pastel colours into the blackness of the sky. It’s still dark enough to see the stars, fainter twinkles against the sweep of indigo above them, but it’s light enough for them to see each other, to make out feint outlines of faces in the low pre-sunrise light, eyes half-lidded and shadowed from the sleepless hours. It must be pushing four in the morning, and they’ve been here since eleven o’clock, leaving their parents with promises that they’re spending the night round each other’s houses to make a few preparations for the play.

(If reciting Romeo’s Balcony Scene soliloquy through giggles and slightly drunken slurs counts as preparation, then at least half of that promise is true).

“We’re not an item,” Dan mumbles, taking a drag from his cigarette. It tastes strange, kind-of like dirt and ash and tar and he’s not a smoker and probably never will be, but Phil had offered him one and- well, fuck it.

“I know,” Phil says. “But you guys are performing in the round, aren’t you?” Phil narrows his eyes, and Dan swears he leans an inch or two closer before whispering, “your stage kisses won’t work from that angle, I’m telling you.”

“Don’t remind me,” Dan shuts his eyes. So far he’d been doing quite a grand job of pushing that worry to the back of his mind, burying it deep into his consciousness. The whole reason he’s up here altogether is to escape it.

Phil hesitates.

“What?” he asks. “Don’t you want to kiss Alexandra?”

Dan gulps, the taste of alcohol souring on his tongue a little.

“It’s not that,” he says. “I mean- a kiss is a kiss, right? It’s all part of the job, and-“

“But you don’t fancy her,” Phil says.

Dan frowns. “Well- no, of course not. She’s a colleague.”

“I know,” Phil says. “It makes a difference though, doesn’t it?”

“What does?”

“Kissing someone you don’t fancy. It’s weird.”

“Tell me about it,” Dan mumbles. It’s getting harder and harder to maintain this lie. “I- er, yeah. I usually stick to stage-kissing on the job, to be honest,” he shrugs. “It’s just easier than kissing someone you don’t really have feelings for.”

“Have you never, you know, properly kissed anyone before, then?”

Dan takes a deep breath. Lies can flow like water when he wants them to; he’s a master at concealing the truth behind a blanket of fabrication and deception, but there’s something about talking to Phil that makes falsehood sour on his tongue.

He lets it out in a deep sigh, feeling his chest deflate and his heart thud. Fuck it.

“You know what?,” he begins. “No. I haven’t. I don’t know if you can tell, but- yeah. I dunno, I guess that’s why I’m so stressed about this shit with Alexandra. And like- I know that probably makes me a fucking loser for never having kissed anyone at the age I am now, and probably even more of a loser that I want my first one to be with someone special, but- fuck, I don’t know,” he swallows, feeling the knot of anxiety in his chest loosen a little. “No. I haven’t. Okay?”

Phil doesn’t say anything. He bites his lip and averts his eyes down to the neck of his bottle. He fiddles with the loose cap, letting it fall through the spaces between his fingers with a sharp clink.

Dan doesn’t like that, doesn’t like the silence. The knot returns.

“What?”

“I- er- that wasn’t really what I meant,” Phil finally says.

The knot tightens.

“What do you mean it’s not what you meant?”

“I meant have you properly kissed anyone on stage before,” Phil glances up. “Not in general.”

Dan’s stomach drops. Oh fuck.

He open his mouth, but no speech follows. No amount of words can haul himself out of his hole now. Shit.

“I mean-“ he finally speaks again after a silence, and there’s a tremor in his voice that he desperately tries to smooth over. “Oh, shit,” he deflates, feeling the pit of his stomach begin to churn due to the abundance of the night’s alcohol. There’s no point trying to clamber out of the hole he’s just dug himself. He’ll only deepen it.

“Have you really never kissed anyone?” Phil asks in a quieter voice, but he doesn’t sound surprised. Or humoured. Or any other emotion Dan had feared. Just… curious. “Like, at all?”

Dan gulps, the beer a sour swirl in the pit of his stomach. Maybe the sixth bottle was a mistake.

“Well there’s no point denying it now, is there?” Dan finally mumbles, his eyes fixed on a dent in the concrete not far from where they’re sitting. “No. I haven’t.”

The gentle thrum of city engines fills the silence between them, and the three seconds Phil doesn’t say anything for might as well have been days.

“Yep,” Dan breaks the quietness once it borders on unbearable. “There you go. You think I’m a fucking weirdo now, don’t you?”

“Not at all,” Phil replies, and his voice is unusually calm. Dan looks up, his eyes meeting a soft expression, and for some reason he really didn’t expect Phil to react like this.

“So-“ Dan shakes his head. “What? You’re not gonna take the piss? Laugh at me? Say I’m a fucking weirdo that only lied to you to try and look cool?”

The truth scratches his heart, but it needs to be said.

“Why the fuck would I laugh at you?” Phil frowns, and there’s something about the sincerity in his voice that, beneath the turmoil, Dan finds weirdly comforting.

“I mean,” Phil begins. “I’m surprised, don’t get me wrong. Only because you’re an actor and- well, let’s face it, you’re fucking gorgeous too, but-“ he shakes his head. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m the first to say I’d much rather make sure my first kiss means something. If anything, I agree with you on that.”

“You’re not pissed off that I lied to you?” Dan gulps down another mouthful of lukewarm alcohol.

“Of course not, you twat,” Phil says. “I mean, I get why you did, but there was no need to. Really.”

“I know,” Dan sighs, picking at the label on his glass bottle until the paper frays at the edges.

“Wanna know something?” Phil says, his eyes not moving from the soft sweep of stars above them, dimmed by the early morning light.

Dan takes his eyes away from the sky. “What?”

“If you’re a liar, then so am I,” Phil tells the stars.

Dan frowns. “You what?”

Phil’s eyes flick back down to earth, meeting Dan’s gaze. “I lied too.”

Dan gulps, his heart thudding. “About what?”

Phil forces a chuckle, but it’s drained of humour. “Do I have to spell it out to you? I haven’t kissed anyone either.”

The words ring in Dan’s ears moments after, Phil’s voice an echo above the roar of the city below.

“Wait-…” is the only word that passes Dan’s lips in the next passing minute or so. “But-…”

“Yeah,” Phil shrugs. “Turns out you’re not the only one, are you?”

“But-…” Dan shakes his head. “Why did you lie about it too?”

Phil just shrugs and says, “same reasons you did.”

Dan tries, he really tries, to comb through the tangle of confusion in his mind right now, but the best response he can come up with after a moment or two of silence isn’t the most articulate.

“Shit.”

“Yeah,” Phil agrees, and they descend into quietness again.

“Shame, isn’t it?” Phil is the first to break the silence. “That we feel the need to lie about that.”

“It’s society’s fault for making us feel as if being over the age of about fifteen without having shoved a tongue down anyone’s throat is a failure.”

Phil grimaces. “I’ve never understood the attraction of that, you know. Like, I get making out and stuff, but why would you want to literally devour the person next to you? When I saw kissing scenes as a kid I thought they were actually trying to eat each other.”

“I know,” Dan takes a sip of beer, the alcohol slipping down with a little more ease now. “It sounds grim. I don’t know how people do it. At least with acting on stage you don’t have that problem.”

“True,” Phil mirrors his actions, pulling his drink away from his lips and tracing the rim of the bottle with the tip of his thumb, staring down the tube-shaped glass into the remains of the flat beer, swimming lukewarm and flat at the bottom of the bottle. Only when he glances up a few seconds later does Dan realise he’s been staring.

Dan smirks.

“What are you grinning at?”

“Just-…” he shakes his head and shit, he’s definitely had enough to drink tonight. He can feel the alcohol-induced honesty begin leaking through his parted lips and he knows he’ll probably end up saying something he’ll regret tomorrow morning but- oh, fuck it. “The thought of you having never kissed anyone. It just- doesn’t make sense to me like- look at you. How?”

He’s not really sure where the line between a compliment and a very sorry attempt at flirting is drawn but he’s pretty sure he’s fallen somewhere in the middle.

Phil’s gaze lingers a few seconds too long. “I could ask you the same thing. I mean- come on, look at you. A guy like you must have been drowned in opportunities.”

They’re both a bit too drunk, a bit too cold and there’s something about the atmosphere of an empty car park at fuck-knows-o’clock that warps reality just a little. Dan blinks and the city lights don’t unblur and he feels a bit like he’s in a dream.

“Yeah, I-…” he shrugs. “I’ve had my fair share of offers, I won’t lie.”

“I’ll bet,” Phil interjects, and Dan rolls his eyes.

“Oh, don’t act like you haven’t either,” Dan rolls his eyes, but he’s smirking. “I just-… yeah, I dunno. I didn’t really wanna waste it, but I never really found someone I liked enough.”

“That’s nice, that is,” Phil says, and though Dan scours his tone of voice for a trace of sarcasm or mockery, but Phil’s eyes glitter earnestly. “No, like, really. Most teenagers just, you know, dive straight into it. Slam their face against anything with a pulse that crosses their path. But the fact you care enough to wait,” he glances up, eyeing the boy beside him carefully. “That’s rare. Kinda admirable in a way.”

“Were you the same, then?”

Phil nods without any hesitation. “A hundred percent.”

Dan nods understandingly, taking another sip of beer, and the two of them watch the town sleep for a quiet moment before Phil speaks up again.

“Oh, come here,” he stretches out his arms. “You look like you’re seconds away from hypothermia, for Christ’s sake.”

Dan leans into his chest, closing his eyes and snuggling into the Topman denim of Phil’s jacket. “I don’t really think a car park roof is the most suitable drinking spot,” he mumbles, his speech slightly obscured by his rattling jaw.

“Not at five a.m. in December at least,” Phil says. “It’s a lot nicer in summer, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Dan says, and the indirect promise that they’ll come out here and do this again makes Phil smile.

It’s quiet, serene and blue, and Dan loses count of the minutes that drip by until he hears Phil’s voice again, shattering his trance dancing on the fragile edge of drunken consciousness.

“Dan?” it’s only a half-whisper, but it still makes him jump.

The younger boy turns his head, his brown hair tousling against Phil’s denim chest until they’re eye-to-eye.

Phil lowers his gaze, but this time his eyes don’t flicker back up to Dan’s. Dan parts his mouth in response, but before he can say anything, there’s a surge forward and a soft pair of lips on his.

A jolt of adrenaline, shock, and a general ‘holy-fucking-shit-this-can’t-be-happening’ feeling shimmers through his body as he kisses back, and despite his embarrassing inexperience when it comes to anything remotely romantic, his lips move perfectly in time with Phil’s, their mouths melting together in flawless harmony.

Phil’s the one to break away, and Dan misses his lips the second the cold morning air touches his mouth. He frowns, studying Phil’s expression half-hidden by his mop of black hair, but the older boy refuses eye contact.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I don’t know what came ov-“

“Don’t apologise,” Dan cuts him off immediately, his hand hovering over Phil’s arm in quiet protest. “Just-…” he gulps. “Do it again,”

Phil’s head snaps up, his eyes boring into the brown stare in mild confusion.

“Please,” Dan mouths, and Phil doesn’t need to be told twice.

They kiss for longer, deeper, slightly parted lips and slow breathing and the teal glow of 5am light and shit, this was certainly worth a seventeen year wait. Phil’s lips feel like warmth and taste like tobacco and he feels a gentle comb of shy fingertips through his hair and yep, he can definitely see what all the fuss is about now.

When they break apart for the second time, all blushes and broken breaths, they’re both grinning. Phil drops his gaze with a bashful chuckle.

“Well,” Dan breathes. He’s still sitting close, their upper arms touching but neither of them really wanting to move away.

“Well,” Phil says, almost in agreement. They’re bathed in silence once again, but this time it’s comfortable.

“I’m not gonna lie,” Dan begins, looking out over the city. “That was definitely worth the wait.”

Phil tilts his head down, their noses almost touching. “Yeah?”

“For sure,” Dan cranes his neck up a little and pecks Phil’s lips again. The other boy grins, pulling his jacket further over Dan’s shoulders.

“We’ll have to do this again sometime then, won’t we?” Phil’s eyes glitter.

Dan grins, glancing at the view spread in front of them. The sun is beginning to awaken and there are fewer streetlights illuminating the land below and it’s cold and wow, they should really think about heading home soon. Dan hasn’t checked his phone in hours and he’s sure it can’t be running on anything much more than a measly four percent.

“Definitely,” he says, then hesitates. “Although, well.”

“Well what?”

Dan flicks his eyes up at the boy above him, tired brown against weary blue.

“Perhaps next time we should choose somewhere a little warmer than a car park,” he says in a soft voice, before adding, “I can barely feel my arse right now.”

Phil bursts out laughing, and then a pair of lips are on his for the third time.

-

The next couple of weeks rush by in a flurry of rehearsals, meetings, crumpled scripts and weird costumes that itch around the collar. Dan and Phil spend most of their time three storeys apart, meaning secret rendezvous up in the control room or down in the trap room are often necessary. The closer the big day creeps, the hotter the atmosphere becomes with stress, so it’s nice to leave the tension with the stage and the equally tense co-workers and escape for a bit.

“For fear of that, I still will stay with thee, and never from this palace of dim night depart aga- oh for fuck’s sake, you’re not even listening.”

Phil looks up from his phone, a giggling smirk still lingering on his face. “Huh?”

“Come on, Phil. You said you’d go through this with me and you’re sat there playing around with bloody Snapchat filters.”

“Sorry, sorry – I am listening, it’s just-“ his eyes flicker back down to the screen in front of him. “That’s hideous. Who even makes these filters? I look like a toe.”

“Can unflattering photos of you not wait five minutes until I’ve finished this? We’re literally nearly done anyway. We only have, like, one more paragraph to g-” Phil interrupts him by flipping the phone around to face the other boy. A bald, rather unsightly version of Phil with weird eyes stares back. Dan’s eyes widen in horror. “Fuck, that really is hideous.”

“I know,” Phil shudders. “I didn’t even know my face could do that,” he glances back at the screen and pulls a couple of experimental faces. “Would you still be with me if I looked like that?”

“Nope,” Dan replies semi-seriously, rolling his eyes when Phil pouts.

“What about if I looked like this?” Phil turns the phone around. He looks a lot better this time, but a little bit too much like an animal. Dan’s never really understood the national attraction towards ‘dog filters’.

“Probably. The ears might get in the way a bit, though,” he chuckles, before urging, “now come on. We haven’t got long left now.”

Phil agrees, albeit reluctantly. He swings his legs off the table, grabs Dan’s battered highlighted mess of a script sitting in front of him and they pick up from where they left off, something about ‘worms that are thy chamber maids’, ‘everlasting rest’ and ‘inauspicious stars’ (whatever the fuck that adjective means). They last a grand total of fifteen seconds before Dan’s voice is interrupted by a shriek of laughter.

“Oh, fucking hell that’s bad!” Phil cackles. Dan groans, wondering for a fleeting second where the best place to launch Phil’s phone might be.

“That’s it,” he loses it, suddenly leaping across the table and swiping the irritating rectangle of interest straight from Phil’s hand. His smile vanishes in seconds.

“Aw, what?!”

“You have five seconds to put this stupid fucking thing away, or else it’s going out there,” he points to the window behind them. Phil follows his gaze, his eyes widening. They can see the majority of the town from up here. That’s a long drop.

He turns his head back around. They’re nose-to-nose, eye-to-eye.

“Fine,” Phil smiles, the tips of their noses brushing together. “But just so you know, seeing you angry just makes me want to kiss you more.”

Dan rolls his eyes, but he can’t hide his smirk. “Are you still gonna want to kiss me when your phone ends up on the ground?”

“What do you mean ‘when’? I’ve put it away now,” he points to the bulge in his back pocket.

Dan fixes him with a glare.

“Come on,” Phil leans forward as Dan leans back. “Just one?” he pleads, his eyes big and blue.

He shakes his head and pulls away, a grin curling at his lips. His eyes flicker back to Phil, a brown gaze that lingers too long.

“Afterwards,” he says in a voice like velvet.

Phil rolls his eyes, flopping back onto the chair. “Fine. Bloody hell, it’s like being back at school.”

Dan pretends not to hear that last comment. “Come on, we’ll take it from “world-wearied flesh…”

Phil’s phone doesn’t move once from his pocket after that. The promise of Dan’s lips after rehearsal is more tempting than any filter some dumb app has to offer.

-

“How do I look?”

Phil eyes him up and down, a smirk playing at his lips. “Hot.”

The comment receives a soft punch to his upper arm.

“Behave,” Dan turns back to the mirror, twining a lock of perfectly sprayed hair that he was specifically instructed not to touch around his fingers. “Are you sure? I feel like I look like a-“

He’s interrupted by a pair of soft lips for a few seconds.

“That’s really not helping the nerves,” Dan breathes once they break away.

Phil grins. “You look fine. You know you do. Now quit playing with your hair before Alexa sees.”

Dan doesn’t think Alexa, the make-up artist, is capable of seeing anything that isn’t within a thirty-centimetre radius of her own face right now. She’s been hurrying around backstage all evening; powdering this, curling that, flitting from actor-to-actor so quickly it makes Dan out of breath to even watch her. She certainly hasn’t done a bad job though, he thinks, as he inspects his reflection. A slightly dishevelled, 15th-century version of himself stares back, all weird leather and burgundy velvet and wow, perhaps he should sport an Elizabethan tunic more often.

“Suits you,” Phil smiles as if he’d read his mind. Dan adjusts the collar accordingly.

“D’you reckon?”  

“Yeah,” Phil eyes him up and down again. “Most people here kinda look like twats in their costume, but you really actually pull that off.”

“Um- thanks? I think?” Dan smirks, frowning at his reflection. He doesn’t mention it has anything to do with his long-standing ability to morph into literally anyone he likes (he’d often been described by many make-up artists as having a “chameleon face” which he hopes is a reference to his adaptability to blend into multiple characters as opposed to resembling a lizard), and instead accepts the ever-so-slightly backhanded compliment.

“What are you doing down here?” someone with an updo the size of Jupiter asks Phil, sauntering past in something that really rather resembles a cupcake. Phil was right, Dan thinks. They do look a bit ridiculous. “They need you upstairs in five minutes.”

“Oh shit,” Phil glances at his watch. “Okay. Gotta go before Nick kills me.”

“Alright,” Dan smiles, pulling him in for a quick hug.

“Good luck,” he whispers into his shoulder. “You’ll fucking kill it.”

Dan tightens his grip around his arms. “Thank you.”

The word has multiple other meanings, and judging by the glitter in Phil’s eye when he pulls away, he thinks he understands every single one.

-

That night, Dan lavishes in warm spotlights and painted wooden sets resembling palaces and balconies, and he feels alive.

That night, the finest Elizabethan literature spills from his lips, flowing as easily as water, his voice shaping every monologue, soliloquy and duologue perfectly.

That night, there are another pair of lips on his; only this time painted red and totally professional. It feels strange, alien, and not a single trace of the spark in his heart that Phil’s lips ignite can be found, but it’s work. It’s courage.

And that night, someone up in the control booth watches through the pane of glass over all the light boards and buttons and wires, and smiles.

As if it’s been almost a year since my last oneshot??? Wtf this must CHANGE I’m getting back into writing (properly this time I swear) so there’s a lot more where this came from. Feedback is always appreciated whether it be good or bad so pls let me know how you found this! Feels so good to be doing this again u have nooo idea holy shit <3

[aisuho]

Steam Prison

So, recently I’ve started to play and finished Steam Prison. Steam Prison is an “otome” Visual Novel. A word of warning: the game has some heavy content (as in violence, not sex per se), so can be a little... well.

You start with the MC talking about scenting the smell of blood, which leads to the scene of her holding a knife, clothes all stained as she looks herself in the mirror, in shock. Then you go back 2 days before the events, learning more about the protagonist, the country (Heights) and their government (the Temple).

The first route I played was Eltcreed’s (part of the Bodyguard Route).

I’ve played most of my first route without a guide, but by the end of it I started following Rezareth’s, as I was afraid of missing something. The order of the routes she gives is Eltcred->Ulrik->Adage->Ines->Yune->Grand Ending, which seems the best order considering the info you learn in each of them. Also, be aware that you can’t play Yune’s without seeing one of Ulrik’s ending first, and can’t play the Grand Ending without catching ‘em all.

Bodyguard Route, Eltcreed and Ulrik.

In the Bodyguard Route you get to live as Eltcreed’s bodyguard, so you don’t get to see much of Sanctuary District nor its characters. However, you get a lot of info about the Heights and the world beyond the walls of the District Sanctuary, as well as Eltcreed and Ulrik’s characters.

Eltcreed Valentine

Starting with Eltcreed, he was the first route I played. He’s an eccentric character, the kind of double-edged sword --  he can be funny, light and a flirt, but also cold and strategist. Also, he loves the Heights and is really into fairytales. Honestly, he is my least favorite; mostly because throughout his route he is really pushy (he forcefully kisses her a relative amount of times); alas, him calling her Kishi-sama (Knight) all the time can be tiresome.

Here is where the MC is the dumbest... She really annoyed me because she was clueless about everything. I mean, I get it that love is forbidden in the Heights and all that, but she is just too dense...

He has kind of two “happy” endings, both are satisfying and different, which makes it hard for me to choose which one I prefer.

Eltcreed’s route is also where you’re first introduced to one of the other bachelor’s (if you don’t go to the Prisoner Route first): Adage; I will get more into it later. And where you get your first look on Fin as a bad guy...! Most of the bad endings throughout all the routes are related to him, and they can be heavy. Like, really heavy. Although you don’t get much of him in the Bodyguard’s route, which is why I’ll keep my intakes about him as a character for later.

[Spoilers about Eltcreed’s route]

Honestly, I was kind of disappointed because the assassination of MC’s parents are kind of swept under the rug; you learn nothing about the case itself and is left with lots os unanswered questions, which was very frustrating for me. Another thing that made uncomfortable was Merlot and Rielith’s being totally forgotten whatsoever. You only hear about them again if you get one of the bad endings (that ending gave me shivers), so...

About his two “happy” endings, I think his maxed affection ending (“My Queen”) makes me a little uncomfortable given that you side with the Hounds (specially Sachsen) in order to restore the peace. To be honest, that didn’t bothered me much at first, but after finishing the game and seeing so much of Sachsen’s actions my opinion towards him is the lowest possible, so it made me mad to side with him and totally overlook everything he has done. Saying that, I much prefer the “The Lasting Future” ending, which gives a better closure overall, specially when taking into account that it addresses the Depths-Heights topic.

Other than that, I really enjoyed learning more about the Depths and more about the two main characters in this route: Ulrik and Eltcreed. I really enjoying their interaction/bickering, it was really funny to watch.

Nonetheless, it was a fun route play, and I liked it, although the matter of Tisselas’ murder being totally pushed to the side really bothered me.

Anyway, I take Eltcreed’s Route as an introduction to the game’s lore, specially all the Depths-Heights trouble, it made great work of that part, as it’s the only route where you get so deep into their story and culture, so it should really be played first.

Ulrik Ferrie

Damn, what can I say about Ulrik’s Route...

I need to say first-hand that he was my favorite character until then, but his route was just... lacking. It felt weird because throughout Eltcreed’s he is snarky, but in a fun way. However, when you come to his own route he is totally rude towards the MC and barely makes any effort to improve his relationship. He was giving me so much cold-shoulder that I felt that I wasn’t even playing his route at all.

Ulrik’s route felt really disconnected from everything else in the game, like, forget (again) about MC’s parents, the Hounds, or Rielith and Merlot. Forget about Fin, also; as far as I remember he barely (if even) appears here.

Ulrik has his own issues to solve and his route is all about that. One of his endings is important, as you get some relevant info and it is necessary to unlock Yune’s route. On the bright side, you go deep into his character’s story, and his family.

[Spoilers about Ulrik’s]

Vice should have been more explored in other routes, I mean, he appears in Eltcreed’s if you don’t go to the Heights, but that’s all. When I first saw him there, I was like... “who the f* are you?” And they he went and killed Fin... -_-

Don’t get me wrong, I liked that Vice and Rafele group weren’t as dumb as Ulrik first thought, but the fact that they are barely mentioned otherwise felt like wasted potential.

MC also needs a lot of rescue here, to the point that was kind of “damn, how can you be a bodyguard if you’re the one needing saving all the time”.

Ulrik’s ending “The Final Page” was the first one I saw in his route, and made me profoundly sad. I just wanted to hug him, but stupid MC was dead already. (-_-) That CG, though...!

The “Words Unspoken” ending was just... stupid. This is where I became really annoyed over Ulrik’s route, because his character/personality was just so... not there. I mean, he was like a spoiled brat, and it became so frustrating for me. It made hard to believe he was a spy.

My biggest trouble with Ulrik’s, however, is not his badly developed personality or character, but Eltcreed... At this point I was so mad with Eltcreed having so much spotlight that I started disliking him. I mean, in the end, it was Eltcreed who saved the day, like... wtf? Dude, can’t you stop being so egocentric for a moment and let the others shine?

Ulrik’s happy ending was cute but still not quite there.

I felt that Ulrik showed more emotion in Eltcreed’s bad ending, “Goodbye, My Knight” (aka Ulrik’s ending), than anywhere else in his own route (which made me even bitter).

Prisoner Route, Adage and Ines

The Prisoner Route is where you refuse Ulrik proposal and choose to stay in the Sanctuary District. This is where your lingering questions are answered, too.

In my opinion, this is where the MC really shines!

Adage

At this point I wasn’t looking forward to play Adage route. Firstly because I was really sore over Ulrik’s, second was because I didn’t know anything about the character except that he was a doctor. But boy, wasn’t I in for a surprise...!

Adage’s route is the heaviest, for many reasons... It’s really dark and sad, even the happy endings are sad. Everything is sad. I mean it.

After this, he became my favorite character, and his route was also my favorite. I liked it so much that I’m thinking of replaying it, just because... feels!

Adage is a little quiet, but is sharp and straightforward, he is a very intriguing character, overall. His voice is very deep and soothing, which added greatly to his character, sounding very mature and fitting overall.

[Spoilers for Adage’s]

Ok! MC is her best here, she starts working and learns to do some things like tending the garden, cooking and even some basic medicine skills. She also has a strong personality, because Adage pushes her to her limits (boy, didn’t I love that outburst?). He also doesn’t let her go into that “I don’t know love” bs, because he is so straightforward with her...!

I also liked how she reacts to his father’s issues. It felt way more mature than how she handled Ulrik.

His route is full of golden scenes (totally spot-on, I loved it):  the first kiss, the fight in his house and even that feeding scene...! My only complaint was the fact that the happy ending kind of dragged itself longer than it should have, which made it less powerful, but it still didn’t affect the route’s vibes in general.

The bad endings were sad and brutal... I felt really sorry for Adage and was creeped out by Glissade. It was so disturbing that at some point I started seeing demon eyes every time Glissade appeared.

Not to mention, Adage’s route is where you find out the person behind MC’s parents’ death (but not who executed them). Here you also discover what Fin was up to all the time. Damn you, Glissade!

It wasn’t easy to endure all the pain and brutality in Adage’s Route, but I think it was well written and the character was concise throughout it. You also receive a lot of answers here, which made it even more enjoyable.

Ines

Ines is the stiff vice commander of the Hounds, he’s calm and cool headed. You can get some light of his character in Adage’s route, as he appears there quite a few times.

His route is where MC gets by mostly by herself. She lives alone in Rielith and Merlot’s house, and has to overcome the grief to make a living.

[Spoilers about Ines]

His route was a light one, more romance and less drama. It was fun to get some info about not only his past, but also Sanchsen and the Hounds’.

It wasn’t clear to me if Ines liked MC until near the end of the route. As I got the bad ending “The Fangs of a Hound” first, I could see the extent of Ines feelings, which was very well delivered by his Voice Actor! This was where I started liking the character better too (he was kind of neutral for me before that).

Ines’ happy ending was one of the best. To me that was a true happy ending, given that it also seemed to shine a light and bring peace to Fin. It also removes Sachsen, although I don’t like how in the end his death made he be treated as some sort of good character. Don’t get me wrong, I know he had some traumas due to Theia’s death, BUT, I can’t feel sorry for him after everything I had seen him do, specially towards Fin.

Given all of the revelations how MC and Ines are connected, it felt to me that their love was the “Fate drives us together”/“Forgotten first meeting” trope-thing.

Oh, I really liked his interaction with Saint Yune! It was nice to see him fluster and break that stiff shell, it really added to his character.

As your lingering question about MC’s parents death are answered, this is a good Route to leave last (still before Yune’s). As I said, it was a light and slow paced story, I don’t like that the romance was very roundabout, but this doesn’t make it less enjoyable.

Servant Route and Yune

Forget everything about going to the Depths! Here, you escape from being exiled and instead has to serve Saint Yune as his attendant.

Yune’s route reminded me of Ulrik’s, not because of the frustration, but because it felt more disconnected from the game itself, like having its own plot to go. I honestly had mixed feelings about it. Yune looks like a teenage, and that made me really uncomfortable overall. It was hard to ignore that and keep reminding myself that he is in fact hundreds of years old.

You go deep into learning his story too, his relation with the Ferrie and how he became a saint. It was nice to see more abou the flood, and how the Heights came to be.

[Spoilers about Yune Route]

Ok! The stone of God thing was kind of weird... it added a supernatural element that doesn’t seem complacent with the vibe of the game, which was why I said it felt really disconnected from everything else.

I had some trouble also understanding if Yune really liked MC. I mean, he was so absorbed on his plan of dying that it made me confused -- did he really like her or was he just using her to reach his goal? Nonetheless, the bad ending didn’t contribute to dispelling my doubts... as he just kind of kills her without more or less.

I get it that he did indeed like MC, but for me their romance wasn’t quite there yet, so it was hard to get attached to the character.

Another thing that troubled me was when you have the option to speak or not to Fin, as I was going towards the bad ending first, I followed the guide and chose not to speak with him. However, the story kept going and even led to more choices afterwards, which left me wondering all the time if I had made the wrong choice. In the end, I did get the bad ending first (”A thread unbroken”), but it took quite long to achieve it.

His happy ending, though... what was that? As I played, I thought I had made a mistake again, because I was thinking it was going towards a bad ending. I gotta clarify here that I didn’t choose all his positive answers (I chose “He is important to me” when he asked me about Fin, hihi), so there was that... Anyway, his happy ending felt really sad and left me with many questions. Like, what happened to the Heights after his death?

However, I did enjoy both his “Lingering scent” and “Let’s meet again” endings. They did gave some closure and were well delivered.

It wasn’t all bad, I liked Yune as a character, but not as a love interest.

Grand Ending

After you achieve all the character’s endings, you have the choice to play the Grand Ending, in which MC’s parents are alive and well, you’re not exiled and whatnot.

[Spoilers]

Well, this was it. It was enjoyable to see the interaction between all the characters, and everyone played somewhat of a role here, even Fin. It left me wishing that we could have seen more interaction between them in other routes too.

However, I felt that lots of things were left unsolved. Yeah, MC had her true happy ending, her parents were alive, she became important, the Heights and Depths relationship was going well and all that, but... having played through all the routes and seeing everything about the other’s characters made it feel like they deserved more. Ulrik didn’t come to terms with his trusting issues, Adage didn’t really solve his own problems with his father, Ines never investigated his partner’s death, Yune never went after his mortality... so lots of loose ends.

Another thing I’d like to point out is how MC’s parents suddenly vanish. Like, without any explanation whatsoever. Although one of the characters (I don’t remember which one) suggests that they may have been arrested or even found shelter somewhere else, even after the confusion is solved, they are never mentioned again. Not even when Yune dissolves the Assembly.

I would’ve liked if you still had some choice of romance here, specially given that Heights laws about love were dissolved, and you were now free to choose whoever. Still, MC never matured, she still knew nothing about romance, so... it felt like there was no character development whatsoever.

Bonus: Fin Eclause

[Spoilers for all routes]

Fin! I have very mixed feelings about Fin. He was my favorite character, and I felt he deserved to be better treated. He is at the same time simple and complex, because he had very complicated feelings and didn’t know how to control them. He matured in a bad way, was badly mistreated and lost all he had except his feelings for MC. MC was what kept his little humanity alive.

Every time Fin appeared onscreen it left me with a profound sadness. I was so depressed to see he go through all he went over and over again... The Grand Ending didn’t really help too, he was temporally promoted to chief of the police then demoted again. He was only able to confess his feelings when he was dying, and not even in the Grand Ending his feelings were let known.

The way Sachsen kept abusing him was one of the reasons I never could forgive or get over his demeanor.

I know that in the Vita version he is a love interest but... I won’t be able to play it, so I’m kind of bitter over it all.  Not to mention, from what I gathered, in his route he takes your place as an exiled. I would’ve liked to see both routes: one where he is in the Hounds and another where he is a prisoner. Honestly, I’m curious to see how his relationship with the MC would’ve developed in both scenarios.

Final thoughts

I really enjoyed the game, but now that I’ve finished it I have that sensation of “what now?”... I hope I can play the Vita version one day and get Fin’s route, as I don’t think it’ll come to PC version.

MC seemed to have a better personality in some routes than others. Ulrik’s route for me was a little disappointing, but I still like the character very much.

I felt like the plot was good, but felt little developed in some routes.

Maybe I’ll play Adage’s route again, because I enjoyed it very much.

My favorite characters are: Fin->Adage->Ulrik->Ines->Saint Yune->Eltcreed.

And my favorite routes are: Adage->Ines->Eltcreed->Saint Yune->Ulrik.

I’d like to state that everything I’ve said is only my opinion as a person and a player. In no way I was looking to offend anyone. You’re free to disagree as you may see fit.

[recentanimenews]

THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Unleashes Sakura With Episodes 29-35

Welcome to THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH! I'm Daniel Dockery aka That Dude That Won't Shut Up About One Piece, and I'll be your host this week as we make our way through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered episodes 22-28, and we continue this week with episodes 29-35.

  This week, the theme is Naruto Minus Naruto, as we lose our title character pretty early on. But despite missing someone shouting about how they're gonna be Hokage one day, this actually seemed to work out pretty well, as it gave our favorite boy Rock Lee and the consistently underrated Sakura a time to shine. Sasuke did some stuff, too, I guess. We also got some bad guy reveals and Gaara being as Gaara as possible. So let's dive right in and let the Crunchyroll Features team give you their thoughts on a batch of episodes that didn't have an ounce of quit in them. 

  So, not a lot of Naruto in this set of episodes, huh? I mean, we've already gotten to know Sasuke, Sakura, Rock Lee, etc. pretty well so far, so it's not like they can't carry the story, but how do you like the show when the title character spends most of it unconscious?

Paul: I'm fine with it as long as the supporting characters have plenty of interesting things to do. Naruto's personal blend of lunk-headed enthusiasm hasn't really clicked with me yet, so I'm happy to see other characters take center stage now and then, and I like that Sakura finally got a moment to prove her mettle in these episodes.

  Peter: This was probably Sakura's biggest moment in Naruto... possibly including Shippuden. I forgot they combined her special haircut scene with the Ino flashback. The whole situation with the sound ninja was kind of a cluster but I felt like that sequence was particularly well-done. Episode 30 is easily the best in the series so far, I forgot how well directed the moment where Sakura realizes she's alone is.

  Danni: I've joked in my livetweets that I can't tell whether the main character of this show is Naruto or Sasuke yet, but that kind of became not a joke at all this time around, didn't it? That was kind of a shame, given that his material at the very beginning of this batch where he's chiding Sasuke is great. Luckily, the rest of the cast was great all around in this batch.

  Noelle: It is pretty funny to have the protagonist absent, but it's clearly not just wasting time. A lot of stuff happens while Naruto is out cold, especially the big fight where Sakura shines, and she needed to shine! A protagonist doesn't have to be there all the time, even if they are carrying the story, and these segments are proof of that.

  Jared: Having Naruto out for most of the episodes really made some other characters step up and gave them a time to shine like Sakura (finally) and Ino's group. You couldn't get away with having him be gone or KO'd all the time, but especially when the show just brought forth all these new characters, it worked.

  Kevin: It actually helped to up the stakes a bit and create space for more character development. Sakura hasn't needed to do much until now, since Sasuke and Naruto could fight instead. In this set of episodes, the boys were unconscious the majority of the time, so not only did she need to push herself to look after them, but she also needed to fight opponents that even seasoned Genin like Lee couldn't stand up against. Running or hiding weren't options.

  Carolyn: THIS is the Sakura I remembered and have been missing this whole time. I am fine with Naruto sitting out a spell so Sakura can rise.

    David: While I like that the other characters are getting the spotlight, I'm also not a huge fan of how they're getting it. Lee? He's allowed to be cool for a little bit, but still has to be undermined by his limitations that also define his character. Sakura? We have to square getting her development with her entire character revolving around Sasuke. Oh, and Sasuke? Got cool powers from the new bad guy, so the whole thing feels a little artificial by the end.

  Joseph: It kind of makes it seem like they just didn't know what to do with Naruto while other people have the spotlight, because knowing his character he would have to butt in no matter what, dattebayo! If it paves the way for more episodes like 30, which features out of this world choreography and animation, I'm all for it, dattebayo.

  Kara: I'm a Doctor Who fan - having the lead unconscious or straight-up missing for major portions of story is familiar territory. That said, I'm glad it was used to good effect here. I was hesitant coming into the Chunin Exam arc because there are Just So Many Characters, and a lot of them are completely new but clearly important. Giving Nart some down time while we get to know how they work (and how characters we've seen before are growing) was a good idea.

  These episodes are sort of bookended by two horrific reveals:

1) IT WAS ME, OROCHIMARU, THE WHOLE TIME

2)WTF, GAARA

How do you feel about these two? I've been playing a lot of Gaara in Jump Force, but I forgot that he pretty much opens his character arc in the show through intense murder.

Paul: I mentioned this on Twitter before, but although Orochimaru is clearly coded to be this big, scary, impressive villain, he strikes me as the ninja equivalent of that bad friend whom everybody kinda knows but nobody particularly likes. Orochimaru's the kind of guy who would get a little too drunk at the holiday ninja party, and then he'd awkwardly hit on your ninja girlfriend, and then he'd puke on your ninja couch cushion and then flip it over to hide the ninja vomit rather than tell you about it. Damn it, Orochimaru!

Gaara is just a comical murder-baby so far. Again, I know he's supposed to be frightening, but I just think he's a precious little sandy cinnamon roll.

  Peter: Given what Orochimaru's done so far, I'm actually curious if Kishimoto had a plan for him at this point. One of this lines in particular speaking with Anko is hilarious in retrospect. I have a new appreciation for Temari and Kankuro. The scene where they were trying to get Gaara to calm down was particularly good. You got a sense of how desperate and afraid they are of Gaara. Also I don't remember Orochimaru using so many... wind ki blasts? I think Kishimoto wasn't sure what powers he had yet.

  Danni: I'm a little disappointed that my perfect snake wife was just a creepy old snake man in disguise. I'm honestly more terrified of Gaara right now. Orochimaru seems like he actually has a plan. Gaara just seems a bit...unhinged...

    Noelle: I definitely agree with Peter, where Orochimaru in his introduction definitely wasn't as cohesive power-wise, as opposed to the snakes and more snakes that he becomes later. He is set up to be extremely threatening, but at this point, it's definitely more potential than it is factual. As for Gaara, Gaara is one of my faves, even if he starts out as a murder machine. The murder does not stop my appreciation for him. You go, Gaara.

  Jared: Now I want a redub of those scenes with Orochimaru except with the Higher Power reveal audio. They certainly make him seem to be a big deal, although it's still relatively shrouded in mystery. Gaara's showing fell incredibly flat for me. Unlike when we first saw him where he had this mysterious aura about him, this just felt like he was made to be the ultimate edgelord. Which if the folks above me are indicating, he gets better, so hopefully that happens sooner rather than later.

  Kevin: For both of them, I feel like their introductions worked well to establish them as serious threats. Orochimaru as a somewhat unknown quantity that even the adults are scared of, while Gaara is a coldblooded Genin that doesn't bat an eye at killing people, to the point that even his teammates fear for their lives when around him. For Orochimaru though, I can't remember any actual reason why he's actually in the Chunin Exam. We'll get to future events in later installments, but why bother actually joining the Genin?

  Carolyn: I remember loving Orochimaru the first time I watched the show and thinking he was a major villain. They certainly set him to seem that way. I'm interested to see if my thoughts on that change as we progress. I also remember thinking Gaara was quite impressive and mysterious, though he was never a favorite character of mine. Rewatching the show, they definitely hype up his skills.

  David: Gaara having a team that is scared of him is significantly more scary than Orochimaru's clear long-term threat foundation going on here. It's kind of cheating but I think this matters a lot for how impactful this ends up being very soon, whereas Orochimaru's threat is much more broad and lore-spanning in the grand scheme of things.

  Joseph: Between Orochimaru, cursed Sasuke, and Gaara, there's so much DANGER in these eps. I love it!

    Kara: Holy crow, things got dark. I'm not saying that as a negative, either. I'll be curious to see what happens with Orochimaru, because that's some high-stakes stuff that got thrown into the mix. I had a feeling Gaara was gonna make Sasuke look like a ray of sunshine by comparison, but I'm with Akamaru on that whole situation.

  If you had to get into intense anime battles in your actual, half-anime life, and you had to copy a Naruto character's techniques, whose style would you use?

Paul: I will continue to stan for my main man, Choji Akimichi, and his ability to transform into the boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Also, they never kill the chubby comic relief characters, so my plot armor would keep me safe from harm but not from embarrassment.

Peter: I feel like the correct answer is Gaara since you can just stand in place writing poems while sand kills people. Practically I think it's hard to argue that Sasuke doesn't have the most "ninja-like" style incorporating the three "jutsus" and leaning heavily on misdirection and outmaneuvering. Each requires having a pretty particular thing though, so it's kind of a lottery by birth.

Danni: Probably Orochimaru. Less for his actual fighting techniques and more because his Mr. Fantastic powers could come in handy when lounging around the house.

Noelle: Gaara's, having sand do my bidding would be pretty neat, and it's not like I sleep much anyway.

Jared: Rock Lee's techniques are what basically what I imagined myself when I was younger when thinking of having anime type fights.

Kevin: I would probably go for the Sharingan, largely due to how versatile it is. It gives amazing kinetic vision, allowing the user to dodge more and land more hits, lets them copy any ninjutsu the enemy uses, can make [REDACTED], or [REDACTED] or even summon [REDACTED], and that's without even getting into the unique abilities from [REDACTED]! Basically, it allows for a lot of flexible techniques, and just with the slight drawback of [REDACTED].

  Carolyn: Ooh, can I redact stuff, too? My favorite hasn't happened yet. Have I mentioned how much I love Shikamaru?

  David: Is it wrong to want to be Sasuke just because he gets the most well-animated fight scenes? I want to be as cool as he is in those.

  Joseph: I've always been a fan of the Shadow Imitation Technique of the Nara clan. I think this is the first time we've seen it in the anime, but throughout the manga I always found it awesome whenever, BAM, someone found themselves ensared out of nowhere.

  Kara: Gonna have to say Ino and the body-hopping. I'm so clumsy, the only way I'll ever effectively beat someone up is if I project into them and beat myself up.

So, Sakura gets a few cool minutes in Episode 32. I especially like the reveal that it wasn't a substitution and that she was actually dropping on Zaku and gutting through those Kunai. However, it's kind of mired in a lot of flashback and a weird "How does my face look?" backstory. How did you feel about it? I will say, for a little bit, I got hyped. Bleeding Sakura descending like Batman on this goon is a dope visual.

Paul: I'm glad Sakura finally got a chance to shine, and I didn't feel that the drama of the scene was terribly undercut by her childhood anxieties about having such an enormous forehead. It contextualizes some of her earlier, snappish behavior, and I was impressed with her growth as a character when she expressed a genuine desire to protect Naruto and when she offered Rock Lee her heartfelt thanks.

Peter: I'm kind of two minds on this watching it for the second time. If anything I feel like her dramatic move was undercut by the fact that there were two more Leaf squads that could have stepped in acting as a sort of safety net rather than anything actually relying on her. That said, I think the balance between her efforts in the moment and Ino remembering the extremely dumb stupid kid reason they stopped being friends was great.

Danni: I adored it. A woman's body in media is often portrayed as a priceless work of art. It's an object whose fragile beauty is meant to be fawned over and protected. The slightest mark of imperfection is detrimental to the whole piece. This either leads to strong women whose bodies remain unscathed or weak women whose bodies exist to be tragically violated. Seeing Sakura use her own body as both a weapon and a shield in this fight was nothing less than refreshing. She cast aside the beauty of her long hair, took three kunai to the body in order to get closer than her target, straight up sunk her teeth into him like a wild animal, and took a beating without flinching or letting go. It was so incredibly refreshing to see a woman actually fight with her whole body rather than an objectified version of one.

  Noelle: This is Sakura's big awesome moment, and she nailed it. She doesn't have signature jutsu like Naruto's clones or Sasuke's fire - all she really has are perfected versions of the basics. That she's able to use her intellect to her advantage; setting traps, tricking her opponents, it works for her character. The fact that she is unyielding is fantastic, considering that in a lot of anime fight scenes featuring women it it's rarely conveyed just how brutal they can get. Sakura's desperately fighting, and she will take kunai and even bite her opponents if it means she can help her friends. It's rough, messy, and great. Let girls have brawls too!

Jared: I'm a huge fan of the "cutting your hair to signify a big change" trope, so I was incredibly excited to see it here. This moment for Sakura was essentially what I'd been waiting for this entire time with her and it delivered. I was kind of surprised how much backstory we got here, but I think it fit well with everything that was happening around them with Sakura and Ino. Everything about how she attacks Zaku felt like she was desperately doing anything she could to survive, which included things like biting and not letting go. Plus, I'm surprised they showed her bloodied up.

Kevin: To put it this way, Sakura faking out Zaku is both my highest and lowest point of the week. I love that we finally got to see her fight and even out think her opponent, and I was even okay with seeing Ino struggle with their history when deciding how to act, seeing her friend-turned-rival in trouble. They probably could have cut one or two of the flashbacks and lost nothing from the storytelling though.

  Carolyn: I actually loved the flashbacks explaining her desire for long hair to impress Sasuke and her rivalry for his heart mixed in with Sakura being an awesome fighter. We saw where she came from and we see where she's headed. Her cutting off her hair (epic) was not just a clever tactic, it was her moving past her fickle, shallow priorities and stepping up. (And incidentally, finally winning Sasuke's respect.) I liked that contrast and I thought it made her powerful moments more meaningful.

  David: I don't like how being feminine was presented so constantly as a negative thing in the lead up to her 'level up', especially because it got immediately followed up by a line from Shikamaru to Choji about how they need to be the 'men' of the situation. I also don't like how it didn't end up even really helping the situation, but Sasuke's unintentional powerup did. I do like how the story clearly realized how drastically it was underutilizing its main female characters and tried to rectify that as well as it could within the characterization it had already established for them. So, basically, I like that it ended up where it was, but I wish it didn't have to do that in the first place.

  Joseph: Sakura's moment makes up for a lot of her inaction in previous episodes. It made it feel like a much more significant turn, and I think it's another great argument for the power of anime adaptations in taking certain aspects of the source material to the next level. I would also be remiss not to mention how major of a role she played in stopping Sasuke after he awakened to some straight-up Final Fantasy IV midi cover music.

  Kara: Sakura's characterization grew three sizes this week! Normally I have nothing against romance or a crush being a motivator (people in the real world act that way sometimes), but I was getting second-hand embarrassment whenever everyone and their mother used her emotions against her because she was that much of an open book. She was seriously dope in episode 32, and I do like that she didn't drop her feelings so much as compartmentalize them. Was it perfect? No. Was it better than what we've seen for the last few weeks? Very much. Plus we've spent so much time being told she knows her stuff, it was nice to see it in action.

  If you've read the manga, how do you feel about the pacing of the anime at this point?

Peter: I appreciate they're not trying to draw things out, past a few recap episodes. The only real filler we've gotten was a few more social scenes that ultimately helped build up the individual Team 7 members more so I'm good with them. Visually the series uses the manga as a direct roadmap the majority of the time but the departures, like in Naruto's fight against Haku, were extremely good.

Noelle: It's definitely a little slower, especially since you can read the same amount content much faster than you can watch it. Different mediums lend to different speeds. At the same time, it's not significantly slower - not like One Piece - so it's pretty tolerable. I can't say I have much complaints with the pacing.

David: It's gotten slower recently, but it's still MUCH better than I expect from long-running shonen adaptations even today. I never feel like a half hour isn't used effectively, which is impressive.

Joseph: They've chopped a few minutes off the absurdly long flashbacks at the start of each episode, so it's much punchier now than when it was covering the Zabuza fight. The adaptation nails some of the big moments, so I think they do a fantastic job of making the most out of Kishimoto's story and characters.

Last but not least, what was everyone's high and low points for this week, along with anything else you want to shout out?

  Paul: My high point was the fight between Sasuke and Orochimaru in Episode 30. Pierrot's animation team really pulled out all the stops for that one, and I was frankly blown away by how well-staged it was, especially since the previous episode was so janky, to the point where it gave us the "Naruto, you look kind of cool" silly face meme. My low point was the reveal that Rock Lee's ultimate technique is just a glorified Izuna Drop. I was disappointed by that, because I was expecting something really far out there.

    Peter: I'd have to say everyone involved had a low moment against the sound ninja. Rock Lee could have actually just kicked the guys head off so I'm not sure why he pulled out his ultimate technique. The master strategist Shikamaru really handled the InoShikaCho combo poorly (why not just have Ino knock the paralyzed guy out then 3v1 the last guy?). Feels like there were too many cooks in the kitchen while Kishimoto was trying to let Sakura stand on her own. High point was Sasuke's epic fight against Orichimaru... or maybe Gaara being Goth Prime?

  Danni: If you can't guess already, the high point of this batch for me is Sakura's battle. Naruto snapping Sasuke out of his daze and the whole fight between Sasuke and Orochimaru are close runner-ups. I can't say there were any real low, low points for me in this batch, but I could have done without the whole prolonged tension of them debating whether or not to open the scroll simply for them to move on without opening it. I really feel like that could have been a lot more condensed.

  Noelle: It has to be Sakura's battle. She's the last member of the team who hasn't really had a moment of growth, as she's mostly been stuck fawning over Sasuke. Now she has a moment of her own, to show that she really can be one of their peers in combat, not just because she's assigned to be alongside them. Sasuke vs Orochimaru was also fantastic to watch. Low points would probably be the Sound Ninja fight when Sakura wasn't the highlight, it felt a little too long.

  Jared: The true answer here is Sakura finally getting her moment as the high point. The flow of these episodes just kept moving until the end where things really slowed down, but that makes sense. Sasuke pulling out a Canadian Destroyer (front flip piledriver) was something I absolutely wasn't expecting. Maybe my low points would be Gaara's fight and then Naruto wanting to open up the scroll since it felt way too obvious that he'd do that.

  Kevin: Sakura's fight somehow managed to be both the best and worst moments. The best moment was when she uses Substitution multiple times to trick her opponent into giving her an opening, even though she needed to take multiple kunai wounds in the process. It was awesome to see her thinking, and there might've even been a bit of Naruto rubbing off on her, given how brazen the plan was. Unfortunately, it led to the end of her plan... biting Zaku's arm and just holding on as he kept punching her head. Great plan, Sakura.

Carolyn: The squirrel and the hair cut were high points for me. Also, just seeing everyone have respect for each other. Sakura thanks Rock Lee, Rock Lee acknowledges Sasuke's ability. Good stuff.

  David: It might not sound like it so far, but Sakura's fight is my high point for not just this bit, but the entirety of the show - it's one of the defining moments of the series to me, something that has stuck with me for decades at this point. So, criticisms aside, that matters a lot to me. Low point is how even when the show is trying to make Lee cool is still undermines him just as quickly, making it hard to believe it really appreciates his struggle.

Joseph: Episode 30 is an all-timer, so that's gotta be my high point. The low point was probably the Sound Ninja. Their powers are cool, and I understand jutsu is a term encompassing techniques in a wide swath, but to me they just had prosthetics and weapons. Hey, check out my jutsu *pulls out a gun*.

Kara: Can't decide between Sasuka vs. Orochimaru or Sakura finally Doing Things as my high point. Really liked both. Low point was probably every time I had to see Naruto squiggling around in snake guts.

  COUNTERS:

"I'm gonna be Hokage!" count: 14

Bowls of ramen consumed: 2 bowls, 3 cups

Shadow Clones: 115

And that's everything for this week! Remember that you're always welcome to join us for this rewatch, especially if you haven't watched the original Naruto!

Here's our upcoming schedule!

-Next week, on FEBRUARY 22ND, we’re looking at EPISODES 36-42 as I, DANIEL DOCKERY, IN MY TRUE BEAST FORM, hosts as the Forest of Death continues to torment! THIS IS THE ONLY INSTALLMENT WE'RE ACCEPTING QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS FOR THIS WEEK!

-Then on MARCH 1ST, we’ll talk about EPISODES 43-49 as NATE MING returns as we enter into one-on-one competition including a showdown between Rock Lee and Gaara!

  -On MARCH 8th, we move on to the final stage of the Chunin Exam with EPISODES 50-56, hosted by CAROLYN BURKE!

  Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!

Have any comments or questions about episodes 22-28? What about our upcoming installment, featuring episodes 29-35?

-------------------------

Daniel Dockery is a writer and editor for Crunchyroll. He has a Twitter that he uses. 

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[a-lame-constellation]

Korean MVs that came out in 2017

~Since i’m not into most kpop groups i might forget to write a comeback so feel free to tell me some that i haven’t written yet or if i have done a mistake.~

*The songs are not in order

**I’ve already made a 2016 list (and i’m making a 2018)

January:

AOA - Excuse Me

AOA - Bing Bing

Bae Da Hae - Knock Knock Knock

S.E.S. - Paradise

AKMU - Last Goodbye

INA - Rainbow

April - April Story

WJSN - I Wish

Davii - Navigation (ft. Heize)

Jun.K - Your Wedding

Minje - Our City

TopSecret - She

Varsity - U R My Only One

Mixx - Love Is a Sudden

NCT127 - Limitless

Vromance - I’m Fine

Day6 - I Wait

Ravi - Bomb (ft. SanE)

Sonamoo - I Think I Love U

Young Cream - 042

Shinhwa 13th - Touch

TRAX [STATION] - Road

Soulights - Crush

EVE - Candle

Jun.K - No Shadow

I - I Wish

Hello Venus - Mysterious

Dreamcatcher - Chase Me

Choi ye_guen Band - Adult

Rain - The Best Present

Niel - Love Affair

CLC - Hobgoblin

Seohyun - Don’t Say No

Zizo - Dynamite Girl

LOOΠΔ(Loona)/YeoJin - Kiss Later

LOOΠΔ(Loona)/Heejin, Hyunjin - My Sunday

LOOΠΔ(Loona)/Heaseul, Yeojin - My Melody

Yoon Do Hyun [STATION] - Sparks Fly

Kasper - Lean On Me

I.O.I - Downpour

40, Dasom - You&I

Park Kyung - When I’m With You (ft. BrotherSu)

Kang Sira - Don’t Wanna Forget

Jooheon - Rhythm

Luna, Hani, Solar - Honey Bee

Joo Chan, So Yoon - No One Like You

2NE1 - Goodbye

Gain, Jeff Bernat - Play

Pentagon - Pretty pretty

Yesung, Selgi [STATION] - Darling U

Jessi - Don’t Make Me Cry

San E - I Am Me (ft. Hwasa)

A.Leean - Fall Back

Suzy - Yes No Maybe

Dynamic Duo, Chen - Nosedive

Sam Kim, Loco - Think About’ Chu

MelodyDay - You Seem Busy

Ryan - Don’t Tell Me Why (ft.Addy)

Kassy - Dream

Masta Wu - Shit (ft. Dok2)

Crybaby - Paramount (ft. TakeOne)

Cheetah - Blurred Lines (ft Hanhae)

Gallant, Tablo, Eric Nam - Cave Me In

Kebee - My Foreigner (ft. BrotherSu)

Ji Hoon Shin - You Are A Star Already

HuhGak - Miss You

Zion.T - The Song

Red Velvet - Rookie

Crown J - Hajima

Lydia Lee - Blue

February:

Imfact - In The Club

Suho, Song YoungJoo [STATION] - Curtain

Masc - Tina

Block B - Yesterday

SF9 - Roar

Day6 - You Were Beautiful

Jung Joon Young - Me and You (ft. Jang Hyejin)

Rhythm Power - Bangsaneung

Cross Gene - Black or White

San E - Counselor

1NB - Stalker

NCT Dream - My First and Last

SunnyHill - Crossroads

B.I.G - 1.2.3

Bts - Spring Day

Bts - Not Today

SBGB - Card Captor Sakura

J’Kyun - Soaking (ft. Cherry Coke)

Jang Joon, Young Taek - Drought (ft. BéE)

Soyou, Baekhyun - Rain

BeautyHandsome - This Game

Skull - Crazy (ft. Verbaljint, KittiB)

Moon Kim - Dark Chocolate

BiPA - Coffee Shop Oppa

MelodyDay - Kiss On The Lips

K.a.r.d - Don’t Recall

Kim Jinho - Graduation Picture

Scarlet mojo-Pin - Ez come Ez go (Gorilla-Man)

Eden - I’m Still (ft. Kwon Jina)

Dean - Beyond (ft. Yerin Baek)

VAV - Venus (Dance With Me)

Taeyeon - I Got Love

Taeyeon - Fine

Twice - Knock Knock

100% - Sketch U

Cheeze - Love You

Solar - Happy People

Soma - Midnight In Paris

Soma - Pale Blue

HeeJun Han - Think of You

San E - What If

Junggigo, Chanyeol - Let Me Love You

Subin - Strawberry

Subin - Circle’s Dream

High4 - Love Line

gugudan - A Girl Like Me

Lovelyz - WoW!

Park Won, Suzy - Don’t Wait For Your Love

Ailee - Reminiscing

Penomeco - WTF (Went Too Far)

Code Kunst - Fire Water (ft. G.Soul, Tablo)

Most Badass Asian - MBA

Most Badass Asian - Joker

Most Badass Asian - Thursday Party (ft. Big One)

Most Badass Asian - Turn Off The Radio (Taxi Driver)

Beatwin - Don’t Leave

March:

Ovan - Virgin Love

Live - Known Me (ft. Dean)

Live - Please (ft. Kim Hyo Eun, G2, Dumbfoundead)

Victon - Eyez Eyez

Ovan - Girl You Deserve It

Kim Ji Soo - Dream All Day

Blanc7 - Yeah

GFriend - Fingertip

BtoB - Movie

Day6 - How Can I Say

Rare Potato - Starlit Night

B.A.P - Wake Me Up

LambC - Love Like That

Romeo - Without U

Jung Key - Anymore (ft. Whee In)

Eric Nam x Somi - You, Who?

Brave Girls - Rollin’

Highlight - It’s Still Beautiful

Highlight - Plz Don’t Be Sad

Got7 - Never Ever

Dorothy Scene - We Are Just..

Cherry Coke - Like I Do

Jung Joonil - Wish

MVP - Take It

Oohyo - Pizza

Cao Lu, Kisum, Yerin - Spring Again

Mad Clown - Love Is A Dog From Hell (ft. Suran)

Seven O’Clock [SOC] - Echo

Hwanhee - So It Is

Yang Hee Eun x AKMU - The Tree

Cnblue - Between Us

Monsta X - Beautiful

Pristin - Wee Woo

IU - Through the Night

BigFlo - Stardom

DJ Juice - BEATful Life (ft. Verbal Jint, Nuck)

J-Min - Alive

Lee Sun Jung Band - Because of Love

Pretty Brown - Grey (ft. Verbal Jint)

Sanchez - 5 More Minutes (ft. Beenzino)

Moon Hyuna - Cricket Song

Roydo - Rewind

Lucy - B-day

Eyedi - Best Mistake (K)

Ofa - To You For You

X.Q - Long Time

Girl’s Day - I’ll Be Yours

Seo In Guk - Better Together

D.G.N.A - Lucky Man

Owol - Nuna (ft. Microdot)

Jero - Delusional

Red Velvet [STATION] - Would You

Seventeen - Smile Flower

I’M - Save Me

OFA - Somebody

OFA - Grow Old

JK Kim Dong Uk - Universe

April:

DPR Live - Cheese & Wine

Oh My Girl - Coloring Book

Winner - Really Really

Winner - Fool

INX - 2Gether

Dreamcatcher - Good Night

Imfact - Tension Up

Taeyeon - Make Me Love You

SBGB - Ki-dult

Corona - Holding Your Hand

Hong Dae Kwang - Fall In Love

Gaeko - Gajah (ft. Rap Monster)

Day6 - I’m Serious

Okdal - Love Advice

Okdal - Intern

Ten [STATION] - Dream In A Dream

Baekhyun [STATION] - Take You Home

Jenyer, Samuel Seo - Cliché

Jeong EunJi - The Spring (ft. Hareem)

EXID - Night Rather Than Day

MiSO - KKPP

Teen Top - Love Is

Lee Hae Ri - Pattern

Lee Hae Ri - Hate That I Miss You

Unit Black - Steal Your Heart

BLACK6IX - Please

Kim Na Young - Being An Adult

Zico - She’s a Baby

Daze - Friday

Berry Good - BibbidiBobbidiBoo

Apink - Always

Kisum - Sleep Tight (ft. Gilgubonggu)

DIA - Will You Go Out With Me

Yesung - Paper Umbrella

DinDin - Super Super Lonely

Hyolyn, Changmo - Blue Moon

Minzy - NiNaNo (ft. Flowsik)

Baek Ji Woong - Your Day

SF9 - Easy Love

Laboum - Hwi Hwi

Chung Ha - Week

IU - Palette (ft. G-Dragon)

Junggigo - Across The Universe

Hyukoh - Leather Jacket

Hyukoh - Tomboy

Hyukoh - Wanli

IU - Ending Scene

K.A.R.D - Rumor

14U - Very Very Very

Varsity - Hole In One

OLNL - OYeah

Reddy - Supreme

Jonghyun - Lonely (ft. Taeyeon)

Stella Jang - Vanishing Paycheck

Triple H - 365 Fresh

Jah Vinci Skull, C Jamm, Jah Vinci - Killa Dreads

Boi B - ADY (ft. Sik-K)

Sugarbowl - Second Date

Knowing Bros - Theme song

May:

Yong Jun Hyung - Wonder If (ft. Heize)

Lovelyz - Now, We

G.Urban - I’ll give it to you

VAV - Flower (You)

JeA - You’re Different (ft. Ra.D)

Ludonph Yongjunko - Tell Me It’s Okay (ft. Luna)

Busters - Dreamer

Day6 - Dance Dance

Romeo - Stay With Me

Psy - I Luv It

Psy - New Face

Twice - Signal

Vixx - Shangri-La

Unnies - Right?

Honeyst - Like You

Urban Zakapa - Alone

Sohee - Spotlight

B.I.G - Hello Hello

IKON - Bling Bling

IKON - B-Day

Roy Kim - Egoist

Roy Kim - Suddenly

Cheeze - Be There

Dean - Love (ft. Syd)

Loco - Movie Shoot (ft. DPR Live)

Loco - Too Much (ft.Dean)

Seventeen - Don’t Wanna Cry

Dear Cloud - Silver Lining

Map6 - I’m Ready

A.C.E - Cactus

Yezi - Anck Su Namun

Yong Yong - Scribbling

KNK - Sun, Moon, Star

Kriesha Chu - Trouble

Yoo Yong Min - Nobody Knows

Goretexx, Black Nut, Han Yo Han - Silky Boys

South Club - Hug Me

Marmello - Puppet

MeiMei Jane - Forever

Shin Hyun Woo - So Amazing

LOOΠΔ(Loona)/Eclipse

Joo - Late in the Morning

Kyuhyun - Goodbye For Now

24K - Only You

Most Badass Asian - Officer

Highlight - Calling You

Sistar - Lonely

Astro - Baby

The Black Skirts - Who Do You Love

Baek A Yeon - Sweet Lies (ft. The Barberettes)

Still PM - True

June:

Elris - We, First

Suran - 1+1=0 (ft. Dean)

S.E.T - Nalari

TopSecret - Mind Control

Gummy - I I Yo

Chung Ha - Why Don’t You Know (ft. Nucksal)

Ft.Island - Wind

Day6 - I Smile

WJSN - Happy

G-Dragon - Untitled, 2014

Eddy Kim - Heart  Pound

Pentagon - Critical Beauty

NCT 127 - Cherry Bomb

Vermuda - Dream Girl

Monsta X - Shine Forever

Mamamoo - Yes I Am

Mamamoo - Age Gag

BlackPink - As If It’s Your Last

South Club - Dirty House

South Club - I Got The Blues

South Club - Liar

Henry - I’m Good (ft. Nafla)

Ahn Jung Jae - You’re Fine

Apink - Five

Heize - Don’t Know You

Heize - You, Clouds, Rain (ft. Shin Yong Jae)

LOONA/JinSoul - Singing in the Rain

BoA - Camo

Lee Hyuri - Seoul (ft. Killagramz)

Crush - Summer Love

July:

The Barbarettes - Summer Love

Favorite - Party Time

Bang Yongguk - Yamazaki

Min Chae - Latata

VAV - ABC (Middle of the Night)

Lee Hyori - Black

Hyolyn, Kisum - Fruity

Crush - Outside (ft. Beenzino)

Day6 - Hi Hello

Take - Good Enough

Yu Seungwoo, Sandeul - Oppa

Red Velvet - Red Flavor

South Club - No

Millic - Paradise (ft. Fanxy Child)

One - Heyahe

One - Gettin’ By

Urban Zakapa - Moai

Xiumin x Mark [STATION] - Young & Free

Zico - Artist

Zico - Anti (ft. G.Soul)

Jessi - Gucci

Mind U - Love Me

Park Boram - Why, You? (ft. Seo Samuel)

Voisper - Crush On You

Hotshot - Jelly

WJSN (Cosmic Girls) - Kiss Me

Exo - Ko Ko Bop

Geeks - Woo

Psy - Love (ft. Taeyang)

KNK - Rain

Kard - Hola Hola

Jung Yong Hwa - That Girl (ft. Loco)

The Night Of Seokyo - Walking in the Moonlight )ft. Dawon, Lasier)

AKMU - Dinosaur

offonoff - gold (ft Dean)

Luda - I Will Give You All I Got

Dreamcatcher - Fly High

Monsta X - Newton

LOONA/Choerry - Love Cherry Motion

JJ Project - Tomorrow, Today

Longguo & Shihyun - the.the.the

9Muses - Remember

August:

Winner - Island

Winner - Love Me Love Me

GFriend - Love Whisper

Girl’s Generation - Holiday

Girl’s Generation - All Night (Documentary Ver.)

Yoo YoungJin x Taeyong [STATION] - Cure

Samuel - Sixteen (ft. Changmo)

Eddy Kim - Now

ONF - ON/OFF

CLC - Where are you?

The Rose - Sorry

Juniel - Last Carnival

Groovyroom - Sunday (ft. Heize, Jay Park)

Raina - Loop (ft. Aron of Nu’est)

N.Flying - The Real

Drug Restaurant - Drink O2 in the water

Primary - ~42 (ft. Sam Kim , eSNa)

Day6 - What Can I Do

Boyfriend - Star

WannaOne - Energetic

Weki Meki - I Don’t Like Your Girlfriend

Pristin - We Like

Momoland - Freeze

Oguogu - Ice Chu

Sunmi - Gashina

Heize - In The Time Spent With You

Hur Young Ji - Memory Clock

Hoody - Hangang

Kassy - Let It Rain

Victon - Unbelievable

Yu Seungwoo, Younha - Can’t Stop This Feeling

Jisook - Ilhoon - Baesisi

Aleph - Fall in Love Again

S2 - Honeya

Lee Seung Hwan - God Of Money

VIXX LR - Whisper

10cm - Help

HyunA - Babe

Jackson Wang - Papillon

Good Day - Rolly

S.I.S - I’ve Got A Feeling

Rolling Paper - Polaroid (ft. DalShabet’s Serri)

Jeong Sewoon, Sik-K - Just U

IZ - All You Want

Henry - That One

Babylon - Lalala

GreatGuys - Last Men

Golden Child - DamDaDi

Sanchez - Mesmerised (ft. Yong Jun Hyung)

Primary - Right (ft. Soyou)

Primary - Diet (ft.Solji)

Primary - Hello (ft.Lena Park)

Primary - Hush (ft. Jaebum)

9Muses - Love City

September:

10cm - Phonecert

Junho - Fine

Pentagon - When I Was In Love

Exo - Power

B.A.P - Honeymoon

Lee Gikwang - What You Like

Black6IX - Like A Flower

Day6 - I Loved You

Pentagon - Like This

Soyou - The Blue Night of Jeju Island

Yonko - Butterfly (Black Ver.)

San E, Penomeco, Microdot, Kebee - Fresh Up

Jeong Eun Ji - Manito

Elris - Pow Pow

Bobby - I Love You

Bobby - Runaway

Bts - DNA

IU- Last Night Story

B1A4 - Rollin’

P.O - MEN’z NIGHT (ft. Chancellor)

Day6 - When You Love Someone

U-Know [STATION] - Drop

K.will - Nonfiction

Seventeen (SVT Leaders) - Change Up

LOONA/Odd Eye Circle - Girl Front

Bolbbalgan4 - Some

Βolbbalgan4 - Blue

Bolbbalgan4 - Imagine

Bolbbalgan4 - Fix Me

Yoona [STATION] - When The Wind Blows

Koh Nayoung - Stars

Sugarbowl - A Very Special One

20 Years of Age - Not Him

October:

Stray Kids - Hellevator

TRCNG - Spectrum

Hash Tag - Hue

Got7 - You Are

Nu’est W - Where You At

Basement Claxxic - Always on my Mind

Davichi - To Me

Jang Wooyoung - Still Me

SF9 - O Sole Mio

Rainz - Juliette

Woo Seok - Lift off (ft. E’Dawn)

Varsity - Can You Come Out Now?

Up10tion - Going Crazy

Masc - Do It

Yu Seungwoo - Tonight

Paul Kim - Stranger

Mate - A Day

Mate - Baby

Dpr Live - Jasmine

Hi Cutie - Play U

HA:TFELT - I Wander (ft. Gaeko)

HA:TFELT - Read Me (ft. Punchnello)

Highlight - Can Be Better

Taemin - Move

BtoB - Missing You

Jung Jin Hyeong - Tru (ft. Sik-k)

A.c.e - Callin’

JBJ - Fantasy

Killagramz - Coloring (ft. Hash Swan)

Seventeen [Vocal Team]

Jimin (AOA) - Hallelujah

Playback - Want You To Say

Super Junior - One More Chance

Twice - Likey

The Rose - Like We Used To

Juniel - I Drink Alone

Epik High - Home Is Far Away + Love Story

November:

Astro - Crazy Sexy Cool

Nick&Sammy - Without You

Jinbo - My Love By My Side (ft. Chancellor)

Super Junior - Black Suit

Byul - Leaves (ft. Junoflo)

Minah - 11°

Mind U - If

Jeon Soyeon - Jelly

Seventeen - Clap

VAV - She’s Mine

Eddy Kim - Bet On Me

Yiruma - F r a m e d

Sonamoo - I (Knew it)

Day6 - All Alone

Nieah - Baby I

Hyeongseop X Euiwoong - It Will Be Good

Sole - Ride (ft. Thama)

Martin Smith - Season Comes Again

Park Jimin - Say I Love You

Block B - Shall We Dance

Monsta X - DramaRama

Exid - DDD

Hwang Chi Yeul - Rewind

Rothy - Stars

Victon - Remember Me

Urban Zakapa - When We Were Two

Swings - Clock Out (ft. Jay Park, Crush)

WannaOne - Beautiful

Samuel - Candy

Kard - You In Me

Kiggen - Cloudy (ft. Solar)

Soma - In My Phone

Soma - Someday + Face Me

Pentagon - Violet

Pentagon - Runaway

Red Velvet - Peek-A-Boo

Joonil Jung - I Like

George - Boat

Jackson Wang - Okay

Soyou, Sung Si Kyung - I Still

No.11 - B1 (ft. Sung Joo of Uniq)

E Z Hyung - I Feel Good

Lee Ha Rin - A Strange Day

Fly To The Sky - Your Season

Kim Dong Wan - Afterimage

Map6 - Love Is Gone

Nell, Groovyroom - Today

UV - Za Bro (ft. Choiza)

HuhGak - Only You

Kream - Photograph

Zion.T - Nu DAY

Drug Restaurant - Catwoman

gugudan - Chococo

Jeebanoff - Timid (ft. Changmo)

December:

HyunA - Lip & Hip

Han Dong Geun - Undoable

Kisses - Dead-End

Day6 - I Like You

Kard - Trust Me

Zion.T - Snow

The Boyz - Boy

Dpr Live - Martini Blue

Dpr Live - Text Me

Taemin - Day and Night

K.Will, Soyou, Boyfriend, Mad Clown, Monsta X, Wjsn, Junggigo, Brothersu, Jeong Sewoon, Lee Kwanghyun, Yu Seungwoo, Mind U, #Gun, Duetto- Christmas Day

B.A.P - Hands Up

Soyou - The Night (ft. Geeks)

Car, the garden - Island (ft. OhHyuk)

Taeyeon - This Christmas

Twice - Heart Shaker

Twice - Merry & Happy

Laysha - Pink Label

Crush - Be By My Side

Exo - Universe

Loona/Chuu - Heart Attack

Lay - Goodbye Christmas

Eric Nam - Hold Me

Younha - Parade

Sunwoo Jung A - C A T (ft. IU)

Yang Da Il - Lie

Osshun Gum - Life’s a Dream

Kim Na Young - Miss U

[generalgardenmagazine]

Enough Already! 15 Things About rainbow runtz strain We're Tired of Hearing

8 Easy Facts About Rainbow Runtz: The Pot At The End Of The Rainbow Shown

Table of ContentsUnknown Facts About Rainbow Runtz Weed StrainSome Known Facts About Rainbow Runtz Marijuana Strain.A Biased View of Rainbow RuntzRainbow Runtz Long Lasting Fun for BeginnersExcitement About Rainbow Runtz: The Pot At The End Of The RainbowSome Known Factual Statements About Rainbow Runtz Marijuana Strain Information

Barrel over the superstars, at that point click on to price (rainbow runtz effects).

Produced along with Lay out. Developed with Sketch.

This information is sourced coming from our visitors and also is certainly not a replacement for specialist health care guidance. Find the recommendations of a wellness specialist just before using marijuana for a clinical problem.

I tend to just enjoy sativas, but I would acquire this indica once again, due to the fact that it provided me the rested feelings credited to indicas without the sofa crash. This is a wonderful pressure under the spotlight and also is a great indica for a sativa tobacco smoker trying to find something different. You will experience the regular indica impacts however are going to still be actually able to delight in the adventures that happen along with finding this flowerpot by the end of the rainbow.

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What is actually Rainbow Runtz? It is actually a cross of Runtz and also Rainbow Sherbert - rainbow runtz genetics. Individually the Rainbow Runtz is actually much more remarkable to me than the Runtz tension however that's just me, aight. Every person is actually various when it concerns buddy, in some cases what hits a single person well is actually various for an additional person. Hows it feel tho? Carry on, allow me take a handful of additional snaps and also bad inform you.

There are various other smells in there yet at this moment it is actually tough to know considering that I always keep scenting it and at this factor my nose is simply bewildered. Lol Do not hesitate to come out with on the smell profile PLEASE! Remark! The End result, Of the Snaps How it was smoked Well-maintained beaker bong without percolator or ashcatcher - rainbow runtz strain effects.

Rainbow Runtz Marijuana Strain Information for Beginners

This exactly how it really feels tho? Analgesic, massive moved eyes low (rainbow runtz strain price). It's amusing due to the fact that earlier I was actually smoking this tension. My eyes felt low during the time nevertheless when I to begin with started smoking to compose this short article I felt like wtf! This is actually lame! my eyes aren't feeling heavy in all.

It's simply the sort of pressure where you may quickly entertain yourself. But where it really shines remains in it's ability to area you out while you delight in a considerable amount of things you appreciate carrying out outdoors. For instance, at once I can easily tell you this is actually a fantastic warm spring strain.

A hybrid which contains Ice cream # 41, Dosidos as well as Zkittlez in its own parentals, should result you fascinating for its (rainbow runtz). If furthermore you include, it is stone very clear that this stress is actually perfect for those seeking to rest after a lengthy hectic time, to assist sleeping and also fail to remember everyday complications.

If you will definitely develop her in SCROF it is actually a should that you cleanse those bases the moment plants have actually begun to floweering (branches that will certainly never get handled through light) - rainbow runtz strain info. Clearing away those lower legs plant will certainly possess more information readily available to use all of them in the leadings, where are going to be actually used more properly, developing into much bigger as well as denser blooms.

Rainbow Runtz Long Lasting Fun for Dummies

, as you nearly simply need to sprinkle them, as well as the (our experts hardly utilize this word yet trust us it will certainly). rainbow runtz genetics. Concerning its own price, the very same means it accompanies othe rstrains coming from this seedbank,, compared to the normal competitions' rate - rainbow runtz strain yield. This simple fact on its own performs not suggest a lot, but if, our company can chat concerning a bargain.

If you budget is greater carry out certainly not miss attempting this strain, however if your budget plan is actually reduced (rainbow runtz strain price)... Our experts nearly consider.

Dried out and tempered total of practically five weeks just before relating to me. rainbow runtz genetics. Got this today, 3/2/21 - Irrelevant in this situation but this is certainly $fifty+/ eighth pot if it were actually sold in the dispensaries here. Think $400 oz. Kind - Sativa bending combination that is a cross of Rainbow Chip x Runtz.

I detest when that takes place. In any case, this certain customer review is on the stress as illustrated. - Different colors are actually whole lots of purple, deep dark green, an irradiant trichome-y luster, some red, and also different other shades of greenish. It is actually wintry with trichomes. The weeds are dense - not hugely therefore but good, strong thickness.

Rumored Buzz on Source Rainbow Runtz

This may be this tension's finest hr. I counted on tons of sweetness as well as fruit product, and also it possesses that in droves (rainbow runtz strain review). Yet when smoked, at the very least to my palette, the sourness arrives even more onward. In a definitely definitely excellent method. It harmonizes the sweetness and also takes a major intricacy to the fruit product aspect.

Lime for sure (rainbow runtz review). That is actually the best flavor however not extremely so at all (rainbow runtz seeds). Properly harmonized along with a blend of a respectable volume of orange, a little grape, a little bit of grapefruit, a little peach (!), and maybe a little ache of apple also, although that may possess been my wishful reasoning.

- I smoked from a clean bong with chilly bottled water. The smoke is actually thick and also velvety. Not severe. I had the ability to take large favorites without a coughing coming from the smoke itself. It lies. It is actually additionally large, which carried out obtain me when. Lol. Great, satisfying on the color scheme smoke cigarettes that is hassle-free enough to blast of your nose, which I carry out to help me evaluate the preference.

So I say that considering that "form of news" is actually actually "kind of news as it affected me personally." Cuz this set is different for every person, right? Therefore coming from a, the news is actually quite well balanced as well rainbow runtz strain effects as pitches strongly sativa for me. It is actually cerebral, and is actually visiting be terrific weed to bind on (runtz rainbow).

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I wouldn't say it was actually nearly as strong a body talk reviewed to the mind, although that might be a feature of my buddy's possibility to harvest at all milky/no amber, as seemingly these were actually. rainbow runtz weed strain. (My choice as well) From a, I am no doctor however I recognize what service my neck and back pain.

This, after concerning 5 moments, took me an obvious degree of alleviation. rainbow runtz strain review. So wherefore it costs, it possessed a beneficial clinical impact for me. I will call it moderate in that respect, a minimum of for me. Detectable alleviation, not difficult. Definitely sufficient to call it a plus though.

As I kind this it concerns a hr and an one-half eventually and I possess yet to experience any sort of less stoned than I carried out in the start. Maybe a little much more physical body as the buzz goes on. rainbow runtz genetics. Efficacy - As it did certainly not stem from a dispensary and also has actually not been actually checked, I do not actually understand the numbers or even main efficacy.

[yanderegameplaysprotectionsquad]

WTFS: The Show Begins!

Part 1/ Part 2

Hello everyone, welcome to part 2 of the ”Welcome To The Freak Show” series! Once again, this series was inspired by art by the talented @scythlyven-art . Her art is lovely. She is just lovely and I hope you all go check her out.

Art Inspiration:   Hosty Boy / Google / Yandere  / Bim / Dr.Iplier

Description: Grab you ticket and gather the family, The Freak Show is in town! One night only! Danger! Mystery! Adventure! Step right up to the best show in town!

“What do you mean by tha-” Ezra stopped as he turned to see Night had vanished. The reporter felt confused, all around. Senpai? Madness? Through his tense demeanor, he sat down in the lone balcony seat.He tried his best to shake it off, grabbing his small notepad from his pocket. He checked his watch to see he only had five minutes to attempt to gather his thoughts. He quickly jotted what he could put into words. Wilford Warfstache. Monochrome. Madness. His body tensed after merely jotting down the name. It couldn’t be him, he never made it. Offed himself, right? Right?

      Suddenly the lights darkened and a small cheer rose from the crowd. A single light shined down into the center of the stage. Willow walked out, smiling as the people cheered. His demeanor seemed much different then before. He was energetic and overly excited, unlike the calm chuckling man Ezra shook hands with. Ezra felt an icy blast shoot down his spine, an unlikely occurrence in the Florida heat.

“ Good evening ladies, gentlemen, and all configurations of being”, Ezra suddenly felt as though he might vomit.” In store for you tonight is danger, action, and thrills unseen by most!  So sit back, relax, and enjoy!” Willow let out an eerie laugh as the audience applauded.

“ Now introducing, The very spirit of magick, the magician, you all know and love, Hallow!” the crown cheered as the purple jacketed man took Willow’s place in the spotlight.

“ Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we shall give you an evening you will never forget. We will show you the darkest of humanity. The weirdest. The true freaks, if you will” Ezra found himself more invested than he had ever felt, merely by the man’s words.” But we will also show you the brightest of the bright. The true joy we crave day to day” as he said this, a single dove appeared on his hand, earning a gasp from the crowd.

“This creature, an innocent white rabbit, is everyone’s favorite magician’s trick” Ezra suddenly felt confusion wash over him once more, breaking him from his amazed trance. How could that be a rabbit? It was clearly a dove. He quickly jotted the occurrence down only to look up to see empty hands, yet the crowd seemed so invested as he spoke of the bunny. Ezra remained frozen in anticipation as Hallow told a story, seemingly providing much imagery Ezra could not see judging by the constant cheers of the crowd. As he carried on his cloth seemed to darken.

“ Now I must take my leave before our second act begins, but for now, enjoy the evening and remember, nothing is as it seems” Hallow then made a very dramatic gesture as he practically spun out of the spotlight. The audience stood in an ovation which Ezra partook in, fearing someone would be angered if he didn’t.

“ How did you find the first act, Mr. Evans?” Ezra jumped at the sound of Night’s voice behind him. This time Night seemed much less casual. Dark red lipstick and black heels accompanied his look as well as a single feather ear ring on his right ear.

“ It was... interesting” Ezra mumbled nervously as the younger man sat on the arm of his chair.

“ Interesting? Oh, senpai, you haven’t seen interesting yet” Night giggled to himself.

“ What does that mean? That name?” Ezra asked earning another giggle from the red head.

“ Oh dear, if I told you that, it would take the fun out of it. Now hush, the second act is about to start and I’ve heard the performer is quite enticing!” Night smirked.

“ Who is this performer?” Ezra asked, genuinely curious.

“ Me, of course” He laughed, standing from the arm of the chair.  Ezra nodded as Night disappeared behind the curtain, beginning his decent downstairs. Almost as soon as he heard the curtain hit the ground, Willow was on stage once more.

“ Now that you have seen what most cannot, you have heard what most will never hear, it is time to experience fear and wonder more than you ever have before. Presenting, the tamer of danger, the hell raiser himself, Night!” As he spoke, the stage went completely black. A large red hue fell over the room, revealing a thin tight rope in the air. The ground below littered with swords. All of them seemed to be blade up except for two that remained handle up, in the center of the pile.

      Night stepped onto the rope from the shadows, the crowd remaining in a scared silence. He moved gracefully across the tight rope, his white eyes seeming to glow in the dim red of the stage. Suddenly he stopped halfway and turned towards the audience to bow. People cheered and whistled in excitement. Suddenly he smiled at the audience before falling forward, off of the rope. A cry rang through the crowd as he fell towards the pile of blades. Even Ezra felt his heart speeding up. Suddenly Night put his hands in front of him, gripping on to the two handle up blades, in a hand stand. The crowded gawked at the save. No way he could fall that far and not shatter bones. Suddenly, another gasp came from the crowd as Night backflipped over the pile, keeping the two swords in his hands.

“ Fear is a fickle thing” Night began “ You were all in fear I would fall, then you were in fear that I would die. Now fear has left you. All in merely a minute. Now you’re left with a beating heart, maybe some relief, and curiosity. Well tonight we will be pushing that fear to the limit.” Night smirked, leaning his head back before beginning to push the sword down his throat. Ezra rolled his eyes, sword swallowing was a simple party trick. Anyone could do it. But what regained his fear was when Night bowed, sword still down his throat. Through his act Ezra noticed a pattern. He would begin to do something mundane, simply, then he would twist it or he would let it fail as if he never felt any pain from it.

“ Now ,ladies and gentlemen, as much as I hate to go, I must take my leave but remember, my darlings, nothing is as it seems” Night bid farewell, blowing kisses and winking as he walked off stage and the crowd went wild. Ezra barely had time to write two words before his notebook was snatched from his hand.

“What do we have here, Senpai?” Night laughed, “Madeness, Monochrome...Wilford War- how do you know that name, Senpai?”

Ezra could see the slight change in his face,” Everyone knows him”.

“ But how do you know him?” Night’s tone had changed. No longer light and curious, now it was condescending and slightly scared. How does one explain that? Such a tale as to how he knew Wilford Warfstache?

“He was a... a good friend...” Ezra felt his throat closing up. He couldn’t even attempt to explain. Night’s face was pale. Seemingly paler than when he first met him. 

“Excuse me for a moment, Senpai” Night smiled, handing him his notebook. 

Suddenly Willow appeared back on stage,” Now you’ve seen magic, you’ve seen danger, now you will see pure terror. This next act will leave everyone on the edge of their seat. Introducing, Barry Tremor!”

A man in a purple suit appeared on stage, full of smiles and waves,” Good evening everyone! My name is Barry Tremor and today we are going to be playing a bit of a game! Now for this game, I’m going to need a volunteer from the audience... how about you? On the balcony?” He smiled, looking towards Ezra. Ezra felt his mouth dry out before Night wrapped an arm around him, giving a nod to Barry before dragging Ezra down the stairs. He soon found himself on stage. He stood in the center on a small platform. Beside him, stood a table with 4 knives. on the end of the stage stood 4 wooden targets.

“ Now what might be your name?” The man asked, smiling at him in a way that left Ezra feeling odd.

“ Ezra, Ezra Evans” He tried to smile but he felt nothing but fear.

“ Well Mr. Evans as you can see you have 4 knives and 4 targets. In this game, you will throw a knife at each target. At the end of the game, if you did not hit a target, the knifes will fire back at you, do you understand? Great! Let’s begin!” The entire crowd cheered as the Barry stepped out of the spotlight. 

      Ezra’s hands shook as he grabbed the knife. Then he heard it, in the back of his head. The trick is to step as you throw light a softball. And how do you know that, Warfstache? We all had our own interests in college, Ez. He took a step back, pinching the bottom of the knife. He then stepped forward as he released the knife sending it flying into the middle of the target.

“Well, looks like we have us a natural, everybody!” Barry laughed as the audience cheered. He did this two more times. Cheers and quirky comments from Barry, until he missed. The knife grazed the target before landing next to it on the fake wall behind the row of targets. The audience fell silent as a smile grew on Barry’s face.

“It seems our Ninja in red has lost” Ezra had no time to think before the knives flew back his way, three missing him. One piercing his stomach .Pain rang through his body. The audience gasped before the platform opened and he fell down a long shoot. He heard a cheer from the audience as his memory begin to blur together. 

“Trimmer! You weren’t supposed to pick him! That’s the one we need!”

“Is he okay? Let me see him! Do remember I’m the doctor here!”

“Get Schneep!”

“If he dies, you die, Trimmer!” 

“Ezra!”

Flashes of monochrome, red, blue, and pink swirled together. Bright lights and pokes and prods. Loud beeps and shocks. Then the sweet peace of anesthetic. Sleep.

Taglist:

@scythlyven-art 

@sam-moss