#like. hmm how uh...lets put on kinky boots. dont know any of the songs. dont know the story. none of the chars. no idea and dont tell me

[unproduciblesmackdown]

absolutely no one was in the building but me so i sang along to bops super unrestrained loud. dunno when in recent memory or if i’ve ever gone ahead and been that loud, even on roller coasters and concerts where i yell at the parts ur supposed to yell at to be fun

like i was just thinking abt how its hard for me to sing b/c you have to be loud b/c chest voice and putting ur damn breath into it = Volume. so yknow i was like, i like music and i like to sing, lemme take this chance to try to go ahead and be as loud as i fuckin want about it. i had some fun. im neither that good nor that bad a singer but who cares? some ppl, but not me. shame the world is denied my amazing input on all possible fronts, right. anyways i put so much on being quiet and i dont like ppl talking too loud around me and i sure dont ever elevate my voice and its fun to hit a pitch and volume that normal i have to associate with a negative survival-mode adrenal response, and that isnt supposed to be available/allowed to me

god knows i forget the podcast and the specifics of the subject but i remember hearing abt some project where ppl put on a musical but everyone involved is in the homeless community. i’ll go and be like “oh i don’t like this musical” and leave and die. fr i’m just more and more believing that what’s left for me is to finagle my way to a large city with enough homeless ppl to have subsets, like gay/trans pockets. and maybe i’ll make a friend or two and then go ahead and die.