#live-action remakes burn in hell challenge

[life-in-toontown]

Poor Simba/Nala/Kiara/Mufasa/Scar broke their arm 😔

[somegirlsnerdywords2]

Anime i’ve Watched

That begin with a D (Part 1)!

Yep this is how i’m going to bring over all the anime and manga i’ve watched and posted about on the old blog. It’s not so detailed but it will have to do. Anything new I watch or read from this point on will have their own posts.

Dance with Devils:

Genres: reverse harem, demons, supernatural, romance, vampire, shoujo

Synopsis: Ritsuka Tachibana has always been a good student, so she is completely shocked when she is suddenly summoned by the student council. Even more, they seem to think of Ritsuka as a troublemaker. Led by the handsome Rem Kaginuki, the student council—also consisting of Urie Sogami, Shiki Natsumizaka and Mage Nanashiro—tries to question her, but it soon becomes clear that they have ulterior motives.However, this is only the beginning. When her mother gets kidnapped, her life is turned upside down, and Ritsuka gets drawn into a world of vampires and devils. Both groups are searching for the "Grimoire," a forbidden item allowing its owner to rule the world. The return of her brother Lindo from overseas gives her hope, but even he appears to be hiding something. In a world filled with secrets, Ritsuka questions whom she can trust in this dark musical tale, while the handsome and dangerous members of the student council compete for her attention.

[Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2015 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: One of the better animes in the reverse harem genre. Little bit of fantasy, drama, romance. This one was actually a musical... or at the very least had a notable amount of musical numbers throughout the series. I do love me a good musical. To be fair this anime had some big issues, though if you’re just looking for a bit of halfway decent reverse harem fun this should suit you just fine!

Darling in the FranXX:

Genres: action, drama, mecha, romance, sci-fi

Synopsis:  In the distant future, humanity has been driven to near-extinction by giant beasts known as Klaxosaurs, forcing the surviving humans to take refuge in massive fortress cities called Plantations. Children raised here are trained to pilot giant mechas known as FranXX—the only weapons known to be effective against the Klaxosaurs—in boy-girl pairs. Bred for the sole purpose of piloting these machines, these children know nothing of the outside world and are only able to prove their existence by defending their race.

Hiro, an aspiring FranXX pilot, has lost his motivation and self-confidence after failing an aptitude test. Skipping out on his class' graduation ceremony, Hiro retreats to a forest lake, where he encounters a mysterious girl with two horns growing out of her head. She introduces herself by her codename Zero Two, which is known to belong to an infamous FranXX pilot known as the "Partner Killer." Before Hiro can digest the encounter, the Plantation is rocked by a sudden Klaxosaur attack. Zero Two engages the creature in her FranXX, but it is heavily damaged in the skirmish and crashes near Hiro. Finding her partner dead, Zero Two invites Hiro to pilot the mecha with her, and the duo easily defeats the Klaxosaur in the ensuing fight. With a new partner by his side, Hiro has been given a chance at redemption for his past failures, but at what cost? [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 6/10

Finished airing in 2018 with a total of 24 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Ohhhh how I wanted to love this one. After Kill la Kill I have the highest of hopes for anything Trigger releases but unfortunately they tend to fall short of my expectations... such a shame. The art, animation and themes were fantastic but that’s about where the good times end in all honesty. I will never forgot just HOW they operate the mechs.... those images will forever be burned into my memories.... so thanks for that I guess?? This series had it’s moments and wasn’t a complete dumpster fire but overall it just wasn’t anywhere near the masterpiece I hoped it would be. The disappointment factor probably took a few points off in the end. 

Deadman Wonderland:

Genres: action, sci-fi, shounen, horror

Synopsis: It looked like it would be a normal day for Ganta Igarashi and his classmates—they were preparing to go on a class field trip to a certain prison amusement park called Deadman Wonderland, where the convicts perform dangerous acts for the onlookers' amusement. However, Ganta's life is quickly turned upside down when his whole class gets massacred by a mysterious man in red. Framed for the incident and sentenced to death, Ganta is sent to the very jail he was supposed to visit.But Ganta's nightmare is only just beginning.The young protagonist is thrown into a world of sadistic inmates and enigmatic powers, to live in constant fear of the lethal collar placed around his neck that is slowed only by winning in the prison's deathly games. Ganta must bet his life to survive in a ruthless place where it isn't always easy to tell friend from foe, all while trying to find the mysterious "Red Man" and clear his name, in Deadman Wonderland.

[Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 6/10

Finished airing in 2011 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Just go check out the completed manga is you’re interested in this series and watch the anime for more content. Pretty cool premise with decent art and music but is incomplete and very unlikely to receive another season.

Death Note:

Genres: mystery, police, psychological, supernatural, thriller, shounen

Synopsis: A shinigami, as a god of death, can kill any person—provided they see their victim's face and write their victim's name in a notebook called a Death Note. One day, Ryuk, bored by the shinigami lifestyle and interested in seeing how a human would use a Death Note, drops one into the human realm. High school student and prodigy Light Yagami stumbles upon the Death Note and—since he deplores the state of the world—tests the deadly notebook by writing a criminal's name in it. When the criminal dies immediately following his experiment with the Death Note, Light is greatly surprised and quickly recognizes how devastating the power that has fallen into his hands could be. With this divine capability, Light decides to extinguish all criminals in order to build a new world where crime does not exist and people worship him as a god. Police, however, quickly discover that a serial killer is targeting criminals and, consequently, try to apprehend the culprit. To do this, the Japanese investigators count on the assistance of the best detective in the world: a young and eccentric man known only by the name of L. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 9/10

Finished airing in 2007 with a total of 37 episodes. 

My Thoughts: If you’re an anime fan and haven’t at least heard of Death Note you may have been living under a rock. Or maybe the only reason you know this title is because of that dumpster fire of a live action western remake... if so I am so so sorry. Strong beginning with an alright end. A great psychological series overall though. Unique and iconic. 

Death Parade: 

Genres: game, mystery, psychological, drama, thriller

Synopsis:  After death, there is no heaven or hell, only a bar that stands between reincarnation and oblivion. There the attendant will, one after another, challenge pairs of the recently deceased to a random game in which their fate of either ascending into reincarnation or falling into the void will be wagered. Whether it's bowling, darts, air hockey, or anything in between, each person's true nature will be revealed in a ghastly parade of death and memories, dancing to the whims of the bar's master. Welcome to Quindecim, where Decim, arbiter of the afterlife, awaits! Death Parade expands upon the original one-shot intended to train young animators. It follows yet more people receiving judgment—until a strange, black-haired guest causes Decim to begin questioning his own rulings. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 9/10

Finished airing in 2015 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Now this was an interesting one! Here we have the concept of death in game form. Each episode a new player is introduced and our leading pair takes them through their chosen game. Morality, mystery and a dynamic leading pair are what drive this character driven series. You’re sure to experience a wide range of emotions while watching this anime and the opening theme was pretty good as well. Why not give it a go if it sounds like your kind of thing!?

Denki-gai no Honya-san:

Genres: comedy, seinen, slice of life

Synopsis:  Umio is a shy kid who just started his part time job at a manga store smack dab in the middle of the city. But his lifestyle isn't as glamorous as the neon lights that illuminate the city. Umio's closest friends are his co-workers who are all unique characters, to say the least, and although they're nice people, they have their quirks. They are a tight knit group of friends, have nicknames for each other and spend their weekends inside, sheltered from the extravagant scene happening on the outside. (Source: MU)

My Rating: 10/10

Finished airing in 2014 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Something light after this unusually heavy themed list. A lovable cast of characters drive this situational comedy and it’s an abosulte joy to watch each and every one of the antics they manage to get up to. A great series to bang out on a day when you aren’t feeling so great and need a little something to lighten your mood. You’re unlikely to find any deep life lessons here but it’s sure to tickle your funny bone. 

Devilman: Crybaby:

Genres: action, demons, horror, supernatural, ONA

Synopsis:  Devils cannot take form without a living host. However, if the will of an individual is strong enough, they can overcome the demon and make its power their own, becoming a Devilman. Weak and unassuming, Akira Fudou has always had a bleeding heart. So when his childhood friend Ryou Asuka asks for his help in uncovering devils, Akira accepts without hesitation. However, to Akira's surprise, the place they go to is Sabbath: an immoral party of debauchery and degeneracy. Amidst bloodshed and death, demons possess the partiers, turning their bodies into grotesque monsters, and begin wreaking havoc. In a reckless attempt to save his best friend, Akira unwittingly merges with the devil Amon and becomes a Devilman, gaining the power to defeat the remaining demons. Though it grants him great power, this new partnership awakens an insatiable and primeval part of Akira. Having the body of a devil but the same crybaby heart, Akira works alongside Ryou, destroying those that harm humanity and his loved ones. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 4/10

A 10 episode ONA that finished airing in 2018

My Thoughts: And we’re back at it with the dark stuff... I was not a fan. The art.animation had some real cool moments as did the music but it was just a bit much in my opinion. Rushed and nonsensical with characters I couldn’t care less about. Gratuitous violence and nudity. To be fair there are plenty who enjoyed this anime, unfortunately for all of you I was not one of them.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

618: "Raid! An Assassin from Dressrosa!"

The whole squad catch up at the end of arc wrap party!

Back from the trip, so it’s business as usual again. Will do one episode a post until I get back into the old routine. Will also catch up with all replies this week. The reason I didn’t post yesterday was because I am way too excited about the RE2 remake and watched my first ever Twitch stream. If anyone has any recommendations for good streamers playing the RE2 remake, please pass them on. :)

As for this episode of OP, it follows on from 617 but feels even less like an ending, as Oda is introducing new characters directly and also some new contexts via Caesar’s DDM stream to the brokers. More than ever, Punk Hazard now feels like a prelude of plots to come (this is a good thing because I cannot handle endings).

Plus, I’m sensing another *wild ride* coming up. Haven’t had the joy since Water 7′s Sea Train, so looking forward to that truck busting out of Punk Hazard. :D

Best Captain

The action picked up where 617 left off. We had a lovely shot of Caesar tanking that massive double punch. But this time, we saw Caesar flying down a rather long tunnel, unconscious and out of sight.

The whole “out of sight” thing would turn out to be... not ideal.

Caesar’s Live-Stream DDM picked up Caesar getting his ass handed to him. The Brokers were disturbed by the turn of events. “What the hell? Is this what they call a public experiment? He kicked Caesar’s ass!” one shouted. Tamago turned to Pekoms and warned that, “Mom should hear about this right away.” 

Another guy in an Abraham Lincoln hat said to a nearby messenger, “Joker is going to take action. Let Jack know about this.” When the messenger said, “Are you sure? It’s not going to be pretty,” he replied, “I think they’ve made an alliance. Let the world know. This is not just an underground problem anymore.”

That one was interesting. I have no idea who Jack is, but he seems a cranky, “head guy” type too. Whoever top hat guy is was important enough to be allowed to deal with plot exposition. (Unless he’s filler, in which case....)  One potential theory: a Jack is a type of card, as is the Joker. Might Jack be connected to Joker? Who knows? Well, you guys do, but that goes without saying.

But the fact the mess on Punk Hazard has been broadcast all over the New World does mean the whole “shaking up the New World” part of Law’s plan was a huge success. Everyone is now after their blood. Love it.

To be honest, I hope Law has a crew to return to after this because I am still wondering where the hell they have been hiding all this time.

At least we know where the other Strawhats are. Usopp played another blinder. He has gone through some major but subtle development this arc. Up in the Secret Room, Usopp took charge of the control panel and communications. He could see the other Strawhats running for cover to the R Building. He spotted Chopper and Mocha first, then Nami and the others. He gave them directions and encouragement. Excellent. 

Not only that, Usopp also is also, if I am not mistaken, about to act as a leader to directionless, crestfallen, used and abused Minions. One guy lamented, “I can’t believe Master was such an awful person. Who will we trust now?”

Usopp. That’s who. The guy who is about to lead you out of the crumbling lab building - though only after he ensures everyone else is on the right track. Not only does Usopp earn major brave points, he also earns leadership points.

I also like how the other Strawhats can act as leaders to other people when Luffy is not around. Nami guided all the kids out. Sanji took charge of the G5 guys. Brook dragged Kinemon out of the gas when the idiot went running in, thinking his spirit would carry him through anything (nope) and Chopper calmed him down and told him what was happening. And Usopp guided them all.

What a guy.

The only two he didn’t help out were Law and Smoker. They already had another plan in the works.

Smoker Has Been Watching Too Much Marie Kondo

Just when Tashigi was wondering whether Smoker had prevailed in his battle with Vergo, he rocked up to Building R with Law! Three cheers for the existence of “the enemy of my enemy is my (temporary) friend!”

Between them, they dragged a SAD truck, the kind, Law said, that had been used to transport the lucrative substance off Punk Hazard. Law’s plan was to let everyone jump on and they would ride that truck off into the sunset together. Good plan, I thought. Since that building is crumbling faster than an overdunked biscuit, it’s gonna be a wild ride.

When they entered Building R, Luffy was there to greet them. “Tra-guy! Smokey! Didn’t expect you to come from that way!”

Of course, Law is a pragmatist. Concerned about his plan, he glanced round and noticed an important factor was missing. 

“Where’s Caesar?” he asked Luffy.

“I kicked his ass and he got blown that way. How far did he go?”

Law was not pleased. “Our plan was to kidnap him!”

“But I don’t wanna catch that bastard anymore.”

I could hear Law’s internal sigh of despair. “That was the plan whether you like it or not. What are you going to do if he runs?”

“Who cares about that jerk!” Luffy scoffed.

“You think you can just change a plan as you like. I shouldn’t have trusted you. I need to get him.”

At this point, I don’t think Law regretted entering an alliance with the Strawhats. He was maybe regretting trusting Luffy with the whole kidnap part, as it is a delicate operation requiring laying aside morals and grudges for a sneakier purpose. That’s not Luffy’s strong point. He is a straightforward, loyal and faithful kind of guy.

That’s why when Nami looked back and asked Luffy if he thought Chopper, Usopp and Brook were alright, Luffy stared straight ahead and said, determinedly, “I’m sure they’ll get here.”

Meanwhile, outside the lab a couple of others had managed to get there too.

Well, they got close.

Two New Challengers Enter!

Baby 5 and Buffalo were back, sent by Doflamingo to retrieve Caesar. Baby was still mad about the whole fiance situation. Apparently, Doflamingo killed her “sweet fiance” by burning down an entire town. The weirdly hilarious thing? He has done this eight times.

Reminds me of that line from Chicago: “he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.”

But did this guy have it coming?

Yeah....... he kinda did. 

Buffalo (who must have eaten a DF because he is a freaking plane right now) said that Doflamingo did it because he loves Baby like a sister, so he doesn’t begrudge destroying an entire town. Why is Doflamingo like this? Turns out Baby has a hard time saying no to guys she thinks “need her”. She lends too much money and has major 98 million debt. The last guy who proposed to her was majorly skeezy and only after Baby for what he could get out of her. So Doflamingo must have taken him out, just like the others.

That was interesting because, in a very weird, brutal way, Doflamingo is looking out for his useful crew members. You guys have mentioned that Doflamingo was inspired cartels or the mafia. Now I can see it. There’s the “young Master” term they all use to address him, the older people working for him, and now he loves Baby “like a sister.” 

But still, this guy is a villain, so it’ll be a business type family. If you cross him, there’s no way he’d let you away with it. I expect Law knows this and that’s why he was so careful.

While flying over Punk Hazard, they noticed right away that the Shinokuni gas was a problem. Buffalo used a “typhoon-like power” to blow away some of the clouds. This revealed a SAD tanker docked at port. Since they were travelling when Luffy kicked Caesar’s ass on TV, they didn’t know what had happened. They decided to wait until Caesar, Monet and Vergo escaped.

Then there was a loud whoosh, a flash, and a sparkling KABOOM as Caesar tore through the air and slammed into the tanker.

An unorthodox entry, but I liked it. Maybe knock a point off for grace and finesse, but the speed was impressive.

As soon as I saw Caesar sprawled on the dock, I facepalmed. “Luffy,” I thought, “you have just handed them Caesar!”

And that is exactly what Doflamingo thought too.

Buffalo checked in with the boss and was given a new set of orders.

“Joker! This is Buffalo from Punk Hazard. We’ve just arrived but Master Caesar was blown out of the building, injured.”

Doflamingo was shocked, but only for a split second. The guy recovers quickly from setbacks. “Recover Caesar immediately and come back to Dressrosa.”

“Okay,” Buffalo answered. “We’ll recover Caesar. What about Monet and Vergo?”

I didn’t hear Doflamingo’s answer, but Baby said, “There must be a reason. Do as he says.”

I’m guessing Doflamingo has cut Vergo and Monet loose. They are on their own now. Damn, this guy is ruthless. Even Vergo, who served him so faithfully for decades is not immune. The message here is: if you are no longer useful, you are done.

Luckily for Caesar, he’s one of the most useful guys in the OPverse, as Doflamingo himself admitted in a private, villainous monologue.

“Hey, Squirts. Luck is on *my* side. As long as I have Caesar in my custody, he can create SAD for me.”

And this was why Law was so irritated that Luffy had let Caesar out of his sight.

This could go one of two ways. Caesar will slip away from the Strawhat/Heart Pirates alliance and they will be forced to storm Dressrosa to retrieve him. Or the certain robotic someone who has just shrieked back into the plot will save their asses and help them kidnap Caesar. Then Doflamingo will go after them directly.

This is getting good! :D

Franky is back: freshly waxed and ready to fire.

[proofthatihaveaheart]

2019 fic recs

it’s been a long time since i did a fic rec list so i put one together with some of my favorite fics from this year (and then forgot to post it for a month oops). i’ve been reading in a lot of fandoms so there’s a bunch of variety in this one. also because i read a ton of cap marvel fics earlier in the year, i’m going to do a separate list for those

[1 Coco, 5 Good Omens, 1 Lucifer, 5 Marvel, 1 She-Ra, 3 Steven Universe]

Coco

Work of All Saints by anistar_e (210k): Her mother sends her a letter, after. We cannot help you, Imelda, it says. You are the consequence of your actions."This is not my fault!" Imelda shouts.-Imelda Rivera (b. 1899 - d. 1969), a story that includes but is not limited to: the finest music school this side of the Santo Domingo, three traveling musicians and the mess they made of love, the twice-cursed assassination of Venustiano Carranza, all the patron saints, and ninety-six ways a man can try to cross a bridge. (A masterpiece of character, world-building, development, just everything you could possibly want from a fic and a novel, it is a grand epic that is personal in scope, truly spectacular)

Good Omens

A Stone’s Throw from Jerusalem by RC_McLachlan (Aziraphale/Crowley, 2k):  "Are you honestly going to make me listen to bebop in my final moments?” [Absolutely beautiful with just the right amount of aching heartbreak and pining, and this acute awareness that they live on different scales than humans.] 

damn.nation, now available on itunes by anistar_e (10k): When lowly tempt-pusher Amphora (formerly of Stairwell 7B North, before she Fell,) gets the notice that end times are nigh, she gleefully quits her job and cancels her Netflix subscription and takes her place among the legions of hell. // This, it turns out, was a bad plan. [The character work is so strong, she paints such a clear vision of Amphora and it’s very easy to fall in love with her. This is the best example of outsider POV of OTP that I’ve seen.]

Salinity (And Other Measurements of Brackish Water) by drawlight (Aziraphale/Crowley, 3k): It's an odd thing, getting on after the End of the World. Crowley takes to sea-watching. [This fic reads like poetry, it’s absolutely beautiful with a very good central metaphor. Also Crowley cooking.]

stars, hide your fires by fishycorvid (Aziraphale/Crowley, 3k): He can feel the pull of the riptide, even in water like this, only a few centimeters deep. The constant, assured call of the ocean: you came from me, and, one day, you will come back. Crowley smiles to himself at that, the water rushing insistently against his fingertips. He hadn’t come from the sea, of course. But he doesn’t think he’d mind much if he had. / “Crowley.” / He goes still at the sound, eyes falling closed. [Beautiful missing scene, I love the emotions and the imagery and the descriptions of the Pacific Northwest and how this fic is just them.]

vintage demon art, vape pens, & other treasures by kyrilu (Aziraphale/Crowley, 1k):  Love, Anthony J. Crowley is aware, is a very foolish thing. He’s seen humans do stupid things based on love or lust, whether it’s tacky Disney movie themed weddings, internet catfishing, or matching couple shirts. [I love this, it’s formatted as several short vignettes about the pair and how Crowley very much doesn’t feel love - except he does, he loves an angel. It’s delightful and beautiful and poignant.]  

Lucifer

And There Was Light by ariaadagio (Lucifer/Chloe, 143k): When Lucifer Morningstar is found half dead in the desert, Chloe Decker is determined to find out why. The problem is ... not even Lucifer knows the answer. As Chloe's world is flipped upside down by incontrovertible evidence of the divine, Lucifer grapples with feelings of violation and futility. God's meddling has started a chain reaction, but to what end? Deckerstar. Fits with canon through S2. [I love this beautiful masterpiece of a fic. Excellent characterization, spectacular plotting, and a very delicious slow-burn, this fic deals with Chloe finding out Lucifer’s divinity while Lucifer deals with fate and free will and having his wings again.]

Marvel (Misc)

Adjectives Assemble by SugarFey (26k): Natasha wants to find that rare edition of The Master and Margarita before her rival at the Russian language bookstore does. Kate is distracted by the cute barista next door. Carol and Jessica dance around each other. Maria just wants to keep her business afloat without being bothered by pesky police officers or high school art teachers, no matter how polite they may be. Another average day at Adjectives Assemble. [Multiple ships and POVs, lots of awesome ladies dealing with feelings and trying to save an indie bookstore, it’s just a delightful fic to read.]

in oakland by hupsoonheng (Sam/Erik, 11k): in the summer of 1998, the good reverend wilson is shot dead, and darlene wilson runs away from her grief all the way to oakland, california, taking her oldest with her. sam hates her, he hates oakland, and he definitely hates the pretty-eyed neighbor boy who's been volunteered to show him around. it's up to him to make the most of his new situation, but he might need someone to push him. [Not a pairing I ever expected to read, but it’s handled so well, the development of their friendship and then love over the course of a single summer in Oakland as teenagers, like cinematic magic, I couldn’t help but cheer for them.]

Morning Glory by capsicleonyourleft (Tony/Steve, Carol/Jess, 2k):  There are a great many things Tony loves about Steve Rogers. His propensity for getting up at the asscrack of dawn, however, is definitely not on that particular list. [Domestic fluff with cute moments, good characterization, and character dynamics that nail them.]

One of the Basic Skills of Civilization (Eddie/Symbiote, 1k):  Eddie attempts to civilize the Venom symbiote. [Eddie tries to teach Venom manners by way of Miss Manners. Things don’t go as planned. It’s hilarious and sweet and has a great joke about Amazon]

we were emergencies by gyzym (Clint/Natasha, 37k):  It's not about being unmade; it's about remaking, one aching step at a time. [This fic is a classic in the fandom and it’s truly stunning. The way it handles trauma and trust and love is phenomenal, you learn to live with it but it never goes away, and it’s truly the best Clintasha fic.]  

She-Ra

plays well with others by Cosanova (Adora/Catra, 4k): Catra may have left the Horde, but that doesn't mean she's ready to join the Rebellion. [Did someone ask for awkward villain redemption? I love this fic and the way Catra navigates the people of Brightmoon and figuring out her feelings for Adora.]

Steven Universe

I Want to Understand by CoreyWW (gen with Steven/Connie and Amethyst/Peridot, 59k): After stopping the Cluster, Peridot must face her next challenge: adjusting to life on her new planet and learning about humans that populate it. Knowing just how out of depth Peridot is, Steven enlists Connie's help in getting Peridot used to humans and acclimated to Beach City. Considering Peridot has no social skills whatsoever, this goes about as well as you'd expect. Funny episodic "Peridot in Beach City" adventures about how Peridot changes over time. Diverges from canon after The Answer (Though by coincidence, the premise of story basically makes this "Log Date 7 15 2: The Series") [What makes this fic so good is the characterization and dialogue. It’s very accurate and the chapters themselves feel like they could be from the show. I especially love the development of Connie and Peridot’s friendship, in addition to Peridot’s own growth and self-reflection.]

Favor for Your Four-Chambered Heart by anistar_e (Jasper/Lapis, 77k): "I don't get it," she says flatly. / "Don't get what?" / "You said we needed to be in peak physical form. What for?" / "Oh!" Peridot perks up. "For harvesting." [Never Let Me Go AU.] [Jaspis isn’t a pairing I considered reading for until I came across this fic and it blew me away with how good it was. This fic hurts, the themes of freedom and self-determination in a world where your only purpose is supposed to be to die for others are beautifully handled, and I love the way all the relationships are written, dynamic and complex and messy. People make mistakes but they’re allowed to grow and become better, and it’s really just so good.] 

Set Me Free by cym70 (Lapis/Peridot, 23k):  Being roommates gives Lapis and Peridot a lot of time to get to know each other and, despite their rocky history, they might just be able to make something entirely new. [A gorgeous, in-character fic about Lapis healing and falling in love with Peridot. The dialogue is so good, you could really hear their voices, and I love the careful development of their relationship. My favorite Lapidot fic.]

[jj-lynn21]

Bill Skarsgård: It's a bit of a messy life, easy to get lost

The actor on "Burn All My Letters", playing the "perverted" old man and dad life

"Burn all my letters" is the first Swedish blockbuster to premiere this autumn.

Bill Skarsgård, 32, plays Sven Stolpe, the grandfather of Alex Schulman who wrote the book. A big challenge for the actor.

- I think you should humanize even disgusting people. And it's fun, it's real brain gymnastics, finding it in someone you have a hard time liking or sympathizing with," he said.

Many, about 320,000, have bought Alex Schulman's book. Which depicts the true love triangle that took place a short period in the summer of 1932. The right newlywed Karin Stolpe (1907-2003) deceived her husband, already established cultural profile Sven Stolpe (1905-1996), with the future acclaimed writer Olof Lagercrantz (1911-2002). Something that made the two men hate each other for the rest of their lives.

Asta Kamma August, Bill Skarsgård and Gustav Lindh play the roles.

Sven Stolpe – who was Alex Schulman's maternal grandfather – is undoubtedly the "villain" of the drama. He more or less scared his wife into staying with him.

- I had just finished filming "Clark". Another real person in which there were both opposites and similarities. They liked themselves, both of them," he says with a laugh.

"I'm too young to have a relationship with Sven Stolpe. My grandfather and father knew him very well and that he stood for everything that they did not stand for.

"Colorful character"

Clark Olofsson who you played was a kind of charming, maybe it wasn't Sven Stolpe, directly ..?

- Nope... but he had some sort of charm, I guess. In the SVT archive there were mostly pictures of him as an old man. There he was a very colorful character and talented speaker. He probably had a bit of a career renaissance towards the end of his life, as the angry conservative old man on the television screen. Sharp as hell. Today, he'd probably have had a podcast.

"As a youngster, as I played him, there were only a few moving pictures. I read a few books by him from that time, to get an insight into how he thought.

"He enjoyed the thought"

Your Sven Stolpe both moves and talks in a very special way. What were your thoughts there?

" A lot of a character is in the voice. If you find it, the other falls into place. In those days, people talked in a different way. Stolpe used the vocabulary as a way to rule over people.

full screen

- And the stiffness... he was sick all his life, it was something I could use, he focused incredibly much on self-discipline, the self-loathing was in him from an early age.

" I also think there was something perverse in Sven that he enjoyed the idea of Karin deceiving him. It gave him ammunition that justified his behavior towards her, that she was a guilty sinner.

Did you talk to Alex Schulman about this?

- The book was an incredibly good source, the script doesn't differ that much. Then I talked to both Bjorn (L Runge, the director) and Alex. Alex's perspective on this is, of course, incredibly charged to him. I have to understand and empathize with Sven Stolpe, but not necessarily sympathize.

Expecting her second child

Recently, Bill Skarsgård came home after several months of filming in Prague of "The crow," a remake of the 1994 action movie.

Partner, actress Alida Morberg, 37, and daughter Oona, 4, have been around from time to time.

"I've had them with me as best I can. Or as best they want. They've come and gone a little bit like they've wanted, greeted in a week or two, it's not always that fun because I haven't had much time for them.

And now a second child is expecting?

- Mmm... it's going to be a blast. In November. So now I'm going to take it a little easy. Then I have a thing I'm going to do this winter, it's not official what yet. It's a bit of a messy life, easy to get lost when you go from one movie bubble to another.

This is Bill Skarsgård

Name: Bill Istvan Günther Skarsgård. Age: 32. Lives: Stockholm. Family: Partner Alida Morberg, daughter Oona, 4 years. Current: At the cinema in "Burn All My Letters" which premieres tomorrow.

Bill Skarsgård on...

... his early swedish films:

- "The sky is innocently blue" and "In space there are no feelings" both have a special place in my heart. Made the same summer (the films came out in 2010). One with Hannes Holm as director, which was established at the time, a personal film for him. And one with Andreas Öhman who was only 23 years old and we pieced it together despite a small budget. A project where we were all at the beginning of our careers.

... how often he gets to talk about the fact that many Skarsgårdare – brothers Alexander, Gustaf and Valter – have also followed in his father Stellan's footsteps and become actors:

"Every interview (laughter).

... The "It" movies, after Stephen King's best-selling novel:

"These are the films the most people have seen me in. After all, they have become phenomena. I met Stephen King when we were both simultaneously in "Good morning America" on American television. We hung out in the green room. We had a lot of fun, he liked what I had done in the movies and I've read several of his books. A fun thing: he has in his "rides" that there must be Twinkies there, he had a whole mountain with it.

New interview with Aftonbladet

[xtruss]

“Shameless War Criminal Bloody British Bastard Blair” Lectures the World on Military Strategy, With No Word of the Deceit He Engineered For an Illegal Assault on Iraq 🇮🇶, Syria 🇸🇾 and Afghanistan 🇦🇫

— 6 September, 2021 | RT

Former War Criminal Bloody British British PM Tony Blair sees himself as a colossus on the world stage – climate hero, peace maker and thinker for our times – seemingly unaware that many people view him as a ‘War Criminal’ who deserves to be put on trial and throw him behind bars to “Stay, Rest, Rot and Burn in Hell Forever.”

Since he left high office in 2007, there really is no subject in the world on which Tony Blair is reluctant to express an opinion on, buoyed by an unsinkable self-belief and an apparently total absence of self-awareness.

He’s convinced that a huge appetite exists for his latest musings, that French President Emmanuel Macron is desperate for his help in tackling the radical Islamist problems of the Sahel, that US President Joe Biden lies awake at night asking himself, ‘What would Tony do?’ and that the British public has forgotten he took the country into a catastrophic war against Iraq that both the United Nations and even his own government inquiry determined was illegal.

His acquiescence to US demands for an attack on Saddam Hussein earned Blair the US Medal of Freedom from George Bush and 20 years of opprobrium from the British public, which has only increased as the years have passed on par with his own immense personal wealth. A poll in 2017 found a third of the British public would like to see Blair put on trial as a war criminal.

But that’s not something the ex-PM likes to dwell upon. So his speech to the Royal United Services Institute (RUSI), almost 20 years to the day since the terrorist attacks of 9/11, made no mention of what followed those unforgettable events: dodgy dossiers, suggestions of bunkers full of weapons of mass destruction or of the purposeful lying to the British people.

Rather than learn any lessons from recent history, like when to wage war, Blair’s appetite is clearly undiminished, as he moaned, “Western societies and their political leaders have become quite understandably, deeply averse to casualties amongst our Armed Forces.” This, in his view, had become, “an overwhelming political constraint to any commitment to Western boots on the ground, except for Special Forces.”

It’s all Biden’s fault apparently. Blair said, “It is clear now – if it wasn't before – that America has decided that for the foreseeable future, it has a very limited appetite for military engagement.”

‘First order security threat’ akin to revolutionary communism: Afghan war didn’t solve radical Islam, Tony Blair says. War Criminal Bloody British Bastard don’t like to talk about “Radical Christians Terrorists, Radical Saffron Hindu Terrorists, Radical God’s Fucked-up People Zionist Cunt Terrorists,” because they can give him a deep f*** and stop paying him to propagate spew filth against Muslims.

Well, yes, Mr. Former Prime Minister, it is true that the Americans have made no secret of the fact that they are sick of fighting ‘forever wars’. But us Brits also do not like to see the lives of young men and women who have signed up to serve their country sacrificed at the altar of political self-aggrandisement. We are now a little less gullible, a little less obliging when it comes to fighting unwinnable, neverending battles and somewhat more suspicious of our glory-seeking political leaders. And that’s all largely down to one person. You.

It’s strange Blair doesn’t acknowledge this. One thing’s certain, he knows his geopolitics; hell, he even has his own eponymous ‘global institute’ packed with researchers, academics and leading experts to tell him what to think and say about the key issues of our time. With one exception. Do. Not. Mention. Iraq.

The exclusion of that country’s name from the conversation is obvious. In looking forward, Blair said that Europe – insisting “for these purposes Britain is part of Europe like it or not” – faced an immediate challenge from the destabilisation of the Sahel and was “already facing the fallout from Libya, Syria and elsewhere in the Middle East.” Err, by ‘elsewhere in the Middle East’ could Blair possibly mean Iraq? Probably, but let’s not risk spoiling a pleasant chat.

And in the face of that perceived threat, which in the Sahel until now has been largely handled by France, Blair asked, “How do Europe and NATO develop the capability to act when America is unwilling?”

Blair clearly sees military action as an imperative – I’m not sure everyone else agrees – but he also thinks the capacity of Western policymakers to think strategically needs to be reinvigorated.

“For me, one of the most alarming developments of recent times has been the sense the West lacks the capacity to formulate strategy,” he said. “That its short term political imperatives have squeezed the space for long term thinking.

It is this sense more than anything else which gives our allies anxiety and our opponents a belief our time is over.”

Now the picture is starting to become clearer. While Western governments are distracted from war by the need to focus on rebuilding economies, fighting worldwide health crises and seemingly perpetual election cycles which inhibit their ability to think long-term, they need big thinkers, top-shelf statesmen and global heavy hitters to work out how to bomb the citizens of far-off places into oblivion through drone strikes, how to convince a sceptical public that it’s a good idea to send servicemen and women to their deaths and – most importantly of all – how to create the right PR buzz around those decisions, so that everyone feels comfortable about falling into line.

Those Western governments need men just like Tony Blair. He’s free most afternoons, if you’d like to schedule a Zoom call. Just don’t mention the war (on Iraq).

“War Criminal, Boak Bollocks Bloody British Bastard Tony Blair” calls US Afghanistan withdrawal ‘imbecilic’ – What, then, was the Bush-Blair invasion of 2001?

— Neil Clark is a journalist, writer, broadcaster and blogger. His award winning blog can be found at www.neilclark66.blogspot.com. He tweets on politics and world affairs @NeilClark66

— August 22, 2021 | RT

War Criminals Bush and Blair met in Washington to discuss the ongoing operations in Afghanistan, November 7, 2001. © REUTERS/Win McNamee

“Serial Warmonger and War Criminal Bloody British Bastard Tony Blair” has blasted the US decision to pull out from Afghanistan, but history tells us the real madness was invading the unconquerable country in the first place.

Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair –aka ‘The Blair Creature’– is not a happy bunny this Sunday, folks. He has said that the decision to withdraw western forces from Afghanistan was made “in obedience to an imbecilic slogan about ending the ‘forever wars’.”

What he calls the US’ ‘abandonment’ of Afghanistan was “tragic, dangerous and unnecessary.”

In fact we could say the same about Tony Blair himself – and certainly the wars of choice he promoted.

Imbecilic? That’s the perfect word to describe what happened in October 2001 when Afghanistan was invaded in response, we were told, to the terrorist attacks of 9/11, even though none of the terrorists were Afghan nationals.

Had Blair read just a little bit of history, he would have pursued an exclusively diplomatic path to try and get Osama Bin Laden handed over and not have been so keen to send in the troops.

As I wrote in the Daily Express in 2009 in an article entitled ’Afghanistan: History repeats itself,’ “‘That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history,’ said Aldous Huxley. Nowhere is this more applicable than in the case of the many unsuccessful attempts by foreign powers to conquer Afghanistan.”

I went on: “The mighty forces of the British Empire failed three times between 1839 and 1919. The Soviet Union, which at the time had the largest army in the world, tried in 1979: they too were defeated.”

But in 2001, Blair and the then American President George W. Bush thought they would buck the trend. They could topple the Taliban (which they did) and remake Afghanistan – a deeply conservative and very religious country – in the western secular image. Afghanistan would be transformed from a ‘failed terror state’ into a ‘functioning democracy.’ What folly. What imperial arrogance.

Today, Blair is busily trying to spin the invasion of 2001 as a ‘success.’ But, while some things did improve, 'Operation Enduring Freedom' certainly didn’t bring peace to Afghanistan.

According to the UN Assistance Mission in Afghanistan, 579 civilians were killed in aerial operations between January and September 2019. That’s more than double the amount ten years earlier. Nearly 111,000 civilians have been killed or injured in the country since 2009.

Far from bringing stability, the 2001 western military invasion, just like the 2003 invasion of Iraq, was a major cause of instability.

I recall chatting to a friendly Afghan taxi driver a couple of years ago and saying to him how I’d love to visit the country to see its great natural beauty. “Don’t go,” he said. “It‘s far too dangerous. You would be targeted.”

So much for Afghanistan being ‘safe’ post-invasion.

Whenever the US withdrew, we would have had scenes of chaos. But the Americans had to pull-out at some point otherwise its forces would have been in Afghanistan forever. That doesn’t seem to concern ‘The Blair Creature’ too much. ‘Forever wars’ aren’t a great problem to him or indeed the ‘Inside the Tent‘ political and media figures who promote them. They are, though, for the soldiers who die in them, and for their grieving families.

‘But the US and British forces could have stayed in a support role,’ we’re hearing. But, as was pointed out last week, there is a word for countries whose governments only endure because of foreign military support. The word is “colony.”

Blair and his supporters are tacitly admitting that Afghanistan, billed as a ‘sovereign democratic country’, was actually a colony. I thought ‘imperialism’ was supposed to be a bad thing that we’re all supposed to be ashamed of. So why is it ok when it comes to Afghanistan?

Afghanistan is virtually impossible for foreign powers to subjugate. There’s its hostile terrain, its harsh weather, its fiercely independent people who are very brave, very tough and are highly skilled in mountain warfare. But anyone who’d read the history books would have known all this and not intervened in the first place.

Tony Blair, with his Messiah complex, thought he’d be different. He could succeed in Afghanistan where other, lesser mortals had failed. But the ‘new’ neocon empire met with exactly the same result as the old empire did. Wasn’t it ‘imbecilic’ to think it would be any different?

[jefferyryanlong]

Fresh Listen - Dr. John, Locked Down (Nonesuch Records, 2012)

(Some pieces of recorded music operate more like organisms than records. They live, they breathe, they reproduce. Fresh Listen is a periodic review of recently and not so recently released albums that crawl among us like radioactive spiders, gifting us with superpowers from their stingers.)

And sometimes the great records are delivered unto listeners like beautiful alien eggs, by high-flying storks that circle the flaming fount of inspiration. Restlessly seeking a column of calm air, the birds dive and drop their payload into the minds of an unprepared audience. 

At first, we the listeners might only notice the shell of the egg. Its chrome-like smoothness, or its symmetrical ridges, the distorted reflections it projects, the patterns on its surface both chaotic and impeccably ordered, the colors that change under different lights and in different environments, like a lizard’s skin or a cat’s eyes. So preoccupied are we with the egg’s shell that we appreciate it, we classify it, and we move on.

Sometimes, though, eggs rot. Eggs break. We clean them up, and clean them out. But when eggs hatch, incubated in love and hostility and the fervor of confusion that comes with trying to understand one’s path through a twisted, tortuous forest, the serpent of perspective is loosed within our consciousness, remaking self-truths by coiling around illusion and strangling its essence. A great record’s evolving intent may become apparent when the times have pressured its previously unknown soul to emerge from the protective layer of funkiness and hooks and melodiousness, the beauty of its vocals or the spirituality inherent in its rhythms. 

I listen to Dr. John’s Locked Down, released in 2012, and can’t stop thinking about 2018. The man’s snake was at last born slithering through the ever-accumulating bullshit, devouring the the lies that we have taken in as our daily bread.

His unmistakeable head decked out in the Creole-Indian wizard beads and braids and feathers and sewn arachnids on the album’s cover, Dr. John sloughs of the skin of the affable, avuncular New Orleans musicologist/historian tendencies of his alter-ego, Mac Rebennack, for the gris-gris flavored musical darkness of the Night Tripper, his brain seemingly overflowing with unkempt ideas and super-mutated insects always abuzz. From the nocturnal birdsong and double bass lick intro of “Locked Down,” the album’s first track, Dr. John seems to have emerged from the wilderness with an “THE END IS NEAR” sign propped on his shoulder, ready to fully put into expression the venom that has infected his bloodstream for a long time. 

With a weary, semi-resigned anger, Dr. John lashes out at the con forever laid upon the people by the powers that not only be, but are also actively energized by the same poor fucks that have been duped. “Locked Down” is the condition suffered by the great swath of the United States, even those who aren’t over-institutionalized by a criminal justice system that contributes to the profit-making enterprise of long-term imprisonment. The supposedly free among us are trapped to vices both illicit and state-supported--drugs, on one hand, and the capitalist, consumerist ideals of material wealth on the other. According to Dr. John, no one is safe in this environment. If your fate is not the jailhouse, perhaps it’s instead the dungeon of things, of electronics and virtual reality, all of those goodies set in place so as to preclude the people from taking action on the amoral, rapacious bullshit happening right before our eyes. It’s a fixed world, Dr. John preaches, and it’ll lock you down in one way or the other--all the systems are running to keep you in your place.

Riding a similar groove is “Revolution,” but Dr. John here is cautious about offering a too-easy way out of a rigged set of circumstances. When he sings “Rebellion, revolution / Is this the final solution?” he’s calling out the destructive glamour of revolutionary action (much as the Beatles did in their 1968 song of the same name), the results of which are too often uglier than the system that was overturned. However, there is an insistence implied, an urgency for change,  that can no longer be addressed by circular discussion and consensus. “Let’s all just pray on it,” he sneers during a break in the bridge, throwing an ill side- eye at the pundits and prognosticators who prefer to talk a thing to death, rationalizing hypothetical minutiae, before they put that one step forward to try to make this world a little better.

Though Dr. John has had prominent hits on mainstream radio (”Right Place, Wrong Time,” composed by true New Orleans saint Allen Toussaint) and has played on seminal albums for the past fifty years or so (his piano work on the Rolling Stones’ “Let It Loose” resounds with a near godly reverence), for most of his career, he’s existed on he periphery of the popular consciousness, either too weird or too traditional (in the schools of blues, jazz, rhythm and blues) for many listeners. He gets to toot his horn, both literally and figuratively, in “Big Shot,” which, with it’s old-timey horns in concert with a slinky New Orleans bounce, calls to mind the breadth of Dr. John’s expansive musical interests, both as a front- and sideman. “Ain’t never was / Never gonna be / Another big shot like me,” he says, taking it upon himself to remind the world of his considerable musical gifts and the contributions he’s made to the regional and galactic songsmanship. But the song is as much about cocaine as it is a living panegyric to the Night Tripper--the big shot that’s “laying in the cut” is also that bone-white medicine that gets us from one gig to the next, through one disappointment to the next: “If I don’t cure ya / I’m sure to kill ya.”

The true song for our times on Locked Down is “Ice Age,” Dr. John’s invective against the willful dummies who greatly overstate their case in trying to convince the people nothin is amiss while their pants are burning from the waist down. “Ain’t no age of innocence,” he growls, “dollars and cents,” illuminating the the prevailing cynicism that has become ingrained in the American character--that the only value is economic value. Dr. John dismisses ideals as comprising a way of life. It all comes down to brass tacks, cash on the barrelhead.

For Dr. John the “ice age” is a total regression in which hopes--for peace among the races, civic equality, safety in our schools, love for the other--have been covered over by the snow of forgetfulness and mistrust. A reactionary government seeks to reverse subtle freedoms in hopes that its citizens won’t notice until they’ve all been removed. Fueled by a corrupt president that breathlessly stokes discord among the peoples he purport to lead, the United States has been twisted into a self-devouring monster, in which the “KKK, CIA are playin’ in the same game.” The thaw doesn’t seem to be arriving anytime soon.

The compellingly busy arrangement of “Getaway,” which strikes at the listener with a barrage of electric keyboard and surf guitar in three time, drills deeper into the sonic muck with an ugly, old-school Black Keys guitar solo smeared all over the middle break by producer Dan Auerbach. The antique synth sounds of “Kingdom of Izzness” lend the album the Afrobeat vibe that many contemporaneous writers of the time overstated. “You Lie” begins almost as a ballad, blue guitar vamping before the beat takes the song into a headlock and doesn’t let up until it’s all over. “In Hell, Satan’s gonna get her / You lie when the truth sounds better” acknowledges the subjective nature of truth in a backwards-talking hellscape, where the fake narratives of our supposed public servants have their constituencies all wound up in reverse. “Ellegua” references Chicano funk with its expressive woodwinds and a summoning of hidden spirits, while “My Children, My Angels,” the one true ballad of Locked Down, posits Dr. John as the one who has seen, passing along the great weight of his knowledge to his successors.

Fighting the driving and oddly upbeat gloom of the overall record is “God’s Sure Good,” a gospel-esque number that hopes at some controlling hand that will, despite the tribulations imparted on HIs eternally challenged creation, save us from the times, or at least offer a crumb of comfort.

In all, Locked Down is less a complaint than a revealing of the elaborate mechanisms established to ensure the citizenry is kept just where its supposed to be. Dr. John, who has moved through the world with his own set of chains, does not sing to provide release--he simply lays out the twisted plan, encouraging us to find our own way out of the mess.  

[neon-serpent-llc]

Here’s to 365 days of polygonal worlds, shot point-blank at our grey matter, some catching fire, others fizzling to the void! It must be that oh-so-pointless time to give out video game awards! For the third year running I present a cheeky list of spills and chills like no other (spoiler: Overwatch wins nothing). Anyway, blahblahblah, here's the awards already:

Game I Forgot Existed Until I Looked Up "Game Releases of 2016" Award

Quantum Break

Like previous winners Watch Dogs, and Evolve, this is a shining example of a game that simply vanished after it was released. Probably took hundreds of Artists four years to make, and then *poof* gone overnight. But alas, most games do, eh? Was the TV show any good?

Best Case for Virtual Tourism Award

The Division

Say what you will about the game itself, but this lovely facsimile of NYC is killer. And super accurate. If it weren't for all the invincible, hoodie-wearing street thugs it would be a pleasure to cruise this digital remake of my favorite city.

Genius or Madness Award

Zero Time Dilemma

A game that walks the line perfectly between the two. So clever, and yet maybe too clever? The twists are ridiculous when they work and outrageous when they don’t. Even so, its sheer confidence of going eight steps beyond everyone else, narrative-wise, is so refreshing. Truly a piece of Art that only works in the video game medium. Speaking of Art...

Most Unplayable Work of Art Award

The Witness

Conceptually, The Witness is flawless. Especially once you've seen the "real" ending, that perfectly frames the point of the whole experience (I watched it on YouTube). Unfortunately, to get that real ending is a monumentally painstaking chore. But, this isn't "difficult" Art in the sense that its meaning is opaque or it’ll challenge your worldview. Its simply that I have zero patience for puzzle games. If The Witness is an encapsulation of what it means to be Johnathan Blow, then it's clear that he and I couldn't be more different. And that's why it works as Art.

Don't Want to Be the Guy That Says, "I Told You So," but.... I Told You So Award

No Man's Sky

Even with its countless features, the spiritually-similar Spore got boring fast. How, then, was this bare-bones knock-off, No Man's Sky, going to keep people interested? And that was with the assumption that it would at least look nice. However, it absolutely did not. The novelty of seeing procedurally generated ANYTHING gets old fast, and it's made far worse when you're presented with a never ending stream of ugly, barren planets made of mud and more mud. Next year’s winner: Star Citizen?

Biggest Social Phenomenon Since the Wii Award

Pokemon Go

It didn't last long, but for a month this summer, everyone was out hunting in the parks of the world. Sure, we still mostly ignored each other, but there was a touch of bizarre camaraderie knowing we were all playing the same giant meta game. Like the Wii before it, it was a game-related subject you could talk to ANYBODY about, and they'd not only know what you meant, but have an opinion on the matter. How often does that happen? How odd was it to see a fifty year old business man asking where the nearest Clefairy could be found?

Welcome to the 90s Loading Time Award

Deus Ex Mankind Divided

I think I spent more time riding the subway in this game than I have in real life.

You Don't Know Your Audience Award

Metroid Prime Federation Force

As a new Nintendo IP this would have got tons of attention. Who doesn't like crazy new Nintendo ideas? But as a Metroid game it could only possibly get bad press. Why play as Samus when you can play as more-generic-than-Master-Chief, chibi space marines instead? A top tier faux pas.

They Finally Got it Right Award

Dragonball Xenoverse 2

After decades of awkward DragonBall games, they finally hit the sweet spot for over-the-top action with fun controls and interesting content (granted, I never played the first Xenoverse). In the year of Street Fighter 5, who would have thought I'd prefer the new DragonBall fighting game?

Well Deserved Retirement Award

Dark Souls 3

Still fun despite almost no alterations in what is clearly a formula now, but I'm glad this is the last hurrah, at least for a while. As I said when Dark Souls 2 came out, the magic is less pronounced with each additional entry. None will have that Demon's Souls impact anymore. But when it returns in 5 to 10 years, it'll be nostalgic to see the old tricks in action again.

Everyone's An Asshole Award

Dishonored 2

At least that's what the talking Heart makes it seem like. Half the populace has secretly killed their husband/wife, whereas the other half have burned down orphanages or something.

Late to the Party Award

Steins;Gate

Another game I played years after release. And damn it's good. Far more novel than game, but I don't mind for a story of this quality. Why wasn't I reading this earlier? Haven't got to Steins;Gate 0 yet, but I'm working on it.

Xenogears Disk 2 Award

Final Fantasy XV

Like Metal Gear Solid V last year, another all-around excellent game that suddenly sprints to the end, jumping vast stretches of story in an instant, clashing hard with the slow burn style of storytelling established before that. Much like Xenogears of yore, this is a game that tried to be far bigger than time/budget allowed.

Honestly, I wish these overly-epic games would get chopped in two, a la Kill Bill. At the point where the story would start getting rushed, end part one. Just end it. Then let its sales fund part two, the remainder of the story. Then again, you run the risk of a Too Human situation where you announce a trilogy and then don't sell enough to finish it. But honestly, Final Fantasy and Metal Gear would handily sell enough. I’m sure they’ll make a FFXV-2, but at best it’ll attempt to reassemble the pieces of its predecessors fractured ending.

Didn't Burn the House Down Award

Uncharted 4

The writers said the ending would "burn the house down" in terms of closure. But it didn't, at all, even slightly. Uncharted 5 could EASILY be made based off this exact ending, with no retcons and no changes to the game’s formula. They'd just have to make Drake constantly say, "I'm too old for this shit!!"

It Shouldn't Work, But it Soooo Does Award

Dragon Quest Builders

I don't like Minecraft. As a professional level designer, I find Minecraft‘s game building tools too crude to enjoy using at length (what a snob, eh?). And I don't like Dragon Quest. Too much grind, not enough story. Too simple. But for some reason when you combine the two it's fucking great! Dragon Quest adds the personality, charm, and flavor Minecraft was sorely lacking while also bringing enough story and tangible goals to make the building feel like a game and not like a chore. Plus, the game’s worlds are fairly handcrafted and feature proper level/zone design, which is greatly appreciated. The surprise hit of the year.

Best Game Industry Trend of the Year

Virtual Reality

I'm glad we're all working on it seriously now. Sure, the current headsets are uncomfortable as fuck, (can’t emphasize this enough), but its a step towards sunglasses-size VR in about ten years or so. Plus, by then everyone will be over their VR sickness so we won’t have to keep watering down the experiences we create. It’ll be sweet!

Worst Game Industry Trend of the Year

Infinite Sales

Between Steam, Good Old Games, Humble Bundle, Greenman Gaming, PSN Store, etc there is always a massive, store-wide sale going on somewhere. Wait a year and any game you want will be a mere $10. Why buy an unknown indie game when you can get a supremely polished, lengthy triple-A game for the same price? Indie developers basically need to charge $1 to get anyone's attention. Or make their game free *cough* ULTRAWORLD.

Best Game Awards of the Year

Obvious

Worst Game Awards of the Year

The Game Awards

A transparently corporate affair, the winners have all be carefully selected based on what needs to sell at Xmas. Companies won't even show up if one of their high profile games doesn't get an award. Even setting those complaints aside, it's hard to get interested or excited about a 2016 award show that happens with over a month of 2016 left; when wonderful games like The Last Guardian haven’t even been released yet. Speaking of which...

Game (Experience) of the Year

The Last Guardian

There's a layer of disconnect between the player and Last Guardian. The boy, Trico, and the camera all seem to disobey the player constantly. Many marked this as a flaw, but I think it's 100% intentional and part of why the game is so cohesive, thematically. For me, there's an added sense of surrealism when things are out of control. The chaos of physics interactions seem like they shouldn't work, yet suddenly you've made it to the next section of the castle. Did you really play that last section, or merely guide the chaos? Since you’re playing as a helpless child, lost in towering labyrinthine passageways, this obtuse disconnect feels entirely appropriate.

I feel it's intentional because Fumito Ueda and his team have managed to capture this sense of surreal play for three games in a row. Everyone manages to get to the end despite the feeling of disconnect. Trico is so aloof, yet will always get you where you need to go. Eventually. If everything functioned 100% predictably, God-of-War-precise, it would be FAR less memorable...as an experience. You, like the boy, legitimately struggle to escape the castle. Who has the guts to purposely make their controls imprecise to service the game, and theme, as a whole? It's amazing. A true work of Art. Game of the Year.

Non-Game of the Year

ULTRAWORLD EXODUS

The expansion and finale to whatever the hell this thing is. I liked it, but I think I'm literally the only one.

---------------------

So that's the year, says I. Looking over my list, its clear I didn't play many indie games, even though I complained about people not buying indie games (which is bad Karma for me, but I'll live). As always, if you disagree: good. All awards are pointless, just fluff opinions with a bow on top. Your awards are as good as mine, good as the Oscars, Grammys, Emmys, etc etc forever. Til next year!

2015 Awards 2014 Awards

[adam16bit]

The Legend of Zelda!  I just played through the first quest on my NES Classic, and I found pretty much everything minus the Red Ring in Level 9. I stumbled on Gannon first, and well, that was that.  It was so much fun!

I’m not going to say an unassisted play through of The Legend of Zelda in 2017 is for masochists only, mostly because if someone is going to go that route I assume at least you know where it’s going and it’ll probably be over in less than an hour.

If you’re old enough, you remember that such niceties as text or tutorials were a rare item indeed in the 8-bit generation of video games.   The story largely came from the manual, talking non-playable characters basically sputtered cryptic clues and gibberish, and companies like Nintendo made special maps, guide books and other special items in-pack or sold separately to take advantage of the fact that the game basically tells you nothing about how to play it.  If you didn’t memorize the instruction booklet on the drive home from Lionel PlayWorld, you had no idea what the Hell was going on.  I also remember it  being $34.99, cheap.

As a kid, this was my favorite game - I considered it to be the best game of all time for quite some time, too.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve moved away from “this game is long so it’s good” to “this game is short so it’s good.”   My replay was just a couple of hours, but only because I knew where stuff was.  You could spend dozens of hours walking around killing things before you realized that the candle could be used to burn trees, or exactly how and where bombs were best deployed on rocks to find secrets.  I loved the combat, and the discovery was very rewarding.  It was a big deal to get a sword upgrade from a dude behind a waterfall or in a graveyard.

The basic format of the game is largely unchanged for the entire series - you’re Link, there���s a big world map, there are a series of dungeons, and you need to collect something or other to put the world in order before Gannon comes back and wins the electoral college, or something like that.   Despite being super simple, I loved the creature designs.  Tektites were crickets crossed with spiders.  Octoroks were little land octopus things that could spit rocks.   Peahats were invincible flowers... until they stopped moving.  Leevers, I don’t know what those are.  I know what they look like.  There’s a flared base.  (Naughty naughty.)

The bosses were really cool - there were two strains of dragons, giant spiders, some dinosaurs that hated smoking, a four-headed piranha plant creature that lived in something that looked like a swastika because nobody here really teaches grade schoolers about Buddhist symbols being modified and co-opted by history’s greatest monsters.  But I digress.

It was always a treat to figure out what to do or where to go, with the real prize being what amounted to a free sequel with even more new rules once you beat the game.  A couple of new enemies plus the ability to walk through dungeon walls were added to the mix, and how you were supposed to know that without a friend telling you is beyond me.  A reworked overworld with all-new dungeons was a heck of a bonus challenge, especially when you can’t exactly afford a new game due to not exactly having a job.  (I’ll probably ramble about that later.)

The dungeons were clean and easy to read, with surprisingly good sound effects for opening doors and the creepy rumbles of various monsters.  You could blow holes in the walls, open passages with keys, or move secret blocks that acted as a switch to reveal hidden staircases.  Again, how you’d know this is beyond me.  It’s amazing any of us ever finished it, but it provided the best video game boot camp for players and designers for year to come.   Now you knew there were new rules - Mario just asked you to hit some blocks or jump down a pipe.  Zelda needed to make sure you pushed and burned and blew up everything, and saved your money to buy stuff, and killed monsters along the way.

The kingdom of Hyrule supposedly had a castle and royalty and people, but all you ever met were merchants, hoarders, and people with gambling problems.   Later games would give you more quests and more people to save, but that doesn’t mean that the original Zelda wasn’t quotable in its dubious translation.

“It’s a secret to everybody.”

“Buy somethin’ will ya?”

“Grumble, grumble.”

...the latter of which is regularly featured in my work communications.  I still love this game and I have the Jakks 8-Bit Link action figure trio on my desk right now - I bought the Amiibo as well.   I wouldn’t recommend it to new gamers due to how obtuse and frustrating it is without full documentation and a real dedication to patience, but I’m sure you could cheat your way through it on a Saturday afternoon.   Over the last decade I’ve found I’d much rather play the oft-maligned sequel Zelda II: The Adventure of Link thanks to its proto-RPG elements, distinctive combat, and generally Metroid-esque layout.

As I got older, the series has lost me a bit.  I beat the first four games and loved them.  I never stuck with the N64 ones long enough - thanks, college - and am currently procrastinating going back to the Wii U HD remake of Twilight Princess.  If nothing else, the series has showed how old I’ve become.  I adored A Link Between Worlds on the 3DS, but at this point I don’t know if I’m at all eager for anything that isn’t effectively a new 2D Zelda.  I don’t think it’s a reflection on the games so much as my desire to pound the pavement in Hyrule and explore every last area without resorting to assistance. 

I have such a fondness for this game that after having beat it moments ago, writing about it makes me want to jump in the second quest when I wake up tomorrow.  If that’s not a seal of quality, I don’t know what is.