#lmk strong spider
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jjjdontworryaboutit · 3 months ago
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Stardew Valley AU!
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Macaque is a rancher and the bull is based of off his shadow/smoke monster thingy. He also has the other barn animals, not just cows. Bai He is also here because I love her.
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Here are some more sketches, idk if I'm going to do more with this au, but I thought I'd post. Everyone is in their theoretical summer outfits. Maybe I'll make all season outfits of my favourites. I did get some inspiration from Roseywolf5 fanfic on ao3 (https://archiveofourown.org/series/3270705). Things like Macaque being a rancher, Mei and her family running the general store, or MK and Wukong being brothers, I got from the fanfic. But there is a lot different too, like the Mayor exists.
Also extra Mayor comic cause yes,
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yuendelahoya · 2 months ago
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Spider King Goliath
Amazing comm I got from @valaisbites !
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fandomskitcanvas · 8 months ago
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I thought it'd be funny
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roonsters-lmkblog · 5 months ago
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Basic Canon Character Headcanons!
I want to be so clear with you guys, I did not need to do this. No one needs this. I don't even need this. But I wanted it. So here it is.
Some basic character headcanons and profiles of all the official LMK canon characters (or at least the ones I like the most).
All of their names are based off that one fandom wiki page that gives all their chinese mandarin names from the chinese version, and from the actually journey to the west itself. That said, please correct me if anything is misspelled or wrong and I'll fix it, I cannot stress enough, that I am not an expert. My skills in chinese are limited to what two months of duolingo has taught me.
Anyway- enjoy!
~~~
Sūn Wùkōng
Birth Name: Shí Hóu (Stone Monkey)
Physical Traits: Very wavy slightly curly, fluffy golden copper/ginger fur with ivory skin and a peach colored rounded face mask
Eyes: Dark blood red sclera and golden irises often glamoured to be pure gold
Favorite Food: Peaches
Scent: Peaches & Summer/Tropical Rain
~~~
Macaque
Birth Name: Liù Ěr Míhóu (Six Eared Macaque)
Physical Traits: Straight, slightly wavy, silky soft, thick black fur with darker tan skin and a red jagged edged face mask, and his signature six lotus petal like ears, with glowing pale pink, lavender, and pale blue insides that he can hear the future, present, and past through
Eyes: Dark violet sclera and paler violet irises often glamoured to be pure gold, his right eye is milky white and completely blind with a jagged X shaped scar cutting through it, usually covered by glamours
Favorite Food: Plums
Scent: Plum Blossoms & Lavender
~~~
MK
Birth Name: Qí Xiǎotiān (Little Heaven/Sky)
Physical Traits: Dark brown, straight slightly wavy, fluffy fur with ivory skin and a red rounded face mask in his monkey form, and no fur or mask in his human form
Eyes: Golden sclera and violet gold ombre irises in his monkey form, and normal white sclera and brown irises in his human form
Favorite Food: Apricots
Scent: Apricot Blossoms & Fresh Citrus
~~~
Mei
Birth Name: Lóng Xiǎojiāo (Little Lovely Dragon)
Physical Traits: Dark skin and short black hair with green highlights, and shimmering green scales scattered around her body and small dragon horns.
Eyes: White sclera and bright green irises
Favorite Food: Chocolate Cookies
Scent: Jasmine & Lily of the Valley
~~~
Pigsy
Birth Name: Zhū Dà Chú (Chef Zhū)
Physical Traits: Pink skinned pig demon, and in his demon form sports large tusks
Eyes: White sclera and brown irises
Favorite Food: Noodles
Scent: Leather & Mixed Herbs and Spices
~~~
Tang
Birth Name: Táng Shīfu (Master Tang)
Physical Traits: Straight, neatly styled black hair and pale ivory skin
Eyes: White sclera and dark brown almost black irises
Favorite Food: Noodles
Scent: Old Books/Ink & Frankincense
~~~
Sandy
Birth Name: Shā Dàlì (Strong Sand)
Physical Traits: Bright blue scaly skin, and a ginger mohawk and curly large ginger beard
Eyes: White sclera and bright blue irises
Favorite Food: Green Tea Cookies
Scent: Chamomile Tea & Ocean Breeze
~~~
Mo
Birth Name: Mo
Physical Traits: Bright blue fue with ginger stripes, mohawk, white furred chest and muzzle
Eyes: White sclera and pale yellow irises
Favorite Food: Tuna
Scent: Chamomile Tea & Ocean Water (cuz he's with Sandy all the time)
~~~
Red Son
Birth Name: Hóng Hái-ér (Red Boy)
Physical Traits: Tan skin, with fire red long fluffy hair, and in his demon form he has red bull horns and a long fire red bull tail and violet bull ears
Eyes: Yellow sclera and purple irises
Favorite Food: Spicy Noodles
Scent: Burning Sandalwood & Saffron
~~~
Demon Bull King
Birth Name: Niú Mówáng (Bull Demon King)
Physical Traits: A towering bull demon with violet skin, darker violet bull horns, and bull tail
Eyes: Yellow sclera and purple irises
Favorite Food: Barbecue
Scent: Cold Steel & Amber
~~~
Princess Iron Fan
Birth Name: Tiě Shàn Gōngzhǔ (Iron Fan Princess)
Physical Traits: Pale ivory skin, long straight, silky smooth, flowing black hair styled to look like demon bull horns, wearing red lipstick with a beauty mark on her right side of her face
Eyes: White sclera and grey irises
Favorite Food: Lychee
Scent: Cherry Blossoms & Cold Steel
~~~
Spider Queen
Birth Name: Zhīzhū Jīng (Spider Spirit)
Physical Traits: Lavender skin, long curly black hair, and a beauty mark on her left cheek, sharp fangs, along with dark purple lipstick and eye shadow
Eyes: Lime green sclera and paler green irises
Favorite Food: Dumplings
Scent: Lilacs & Fresh Lime
~~~
Huntsman
Birth Name: Shāshǒu Zhū (Killer Spider)
Physical Traits: Lavender skin with a set of fangs above his mouth as well as smaller spikes along his face and grey hair styled into an undercut and braid
Eyes: Four eyes with lime green sclera and even paler green irises
Favorite Food: Dumplings
Scent: Patchouli & Incense
~~~
Syntax
Birth Name: Liù Yǎn Zhū (Six-eyed Spider)
Physical Traits: Lavender skin with lime scruffy and swept hair and a pencil mustache, and four mechanical spider legs out of his back
Eyes: Lime green sclera with paler green irises
Favorite Food: Wonton Soup
Scent: Bergamot & Yuzu
~~~
Spindrax
Birth Name: Jī Yǐng (Princess Shadow)
Physical Traits: Lavender skin with short curly black hair with violet highlights and sharp spider fangs
Eyes: Four eyes with lime green sclera and paler green irises
Favorite Food: Chocolate
Scent: Violets & Lemongrass
~~~
Goliath
Birth Name: Zhuàng Hàn Zhū (Brawny Spider)
Physical Traits: Lavender skin with spiky black hair and ten mechanical spider legs, with four of them for his legs and the rest for his back
Eyes: Four eyes with lime green sclera and paler green irises
Favorite Food: Hard Candies
Scent: Green Tea & Ginger
~~~
Mayor
Birth Name: Shì Zhǎng (Mayor)
Physical Traits: Pale ivory skin and silvery gray hair, which is streaked with a striking horizontal band of brilliant light blue.
Eyes: Pure white eyes, both sclera, irises, and pupil
Favorite Food: Wonton Soup
Scent: Pine Wood & Mint
~~~
Bai He
Birth Name: Bǎi Hé (Lily)
Physical Traits: Pale ivory skin and shoulder-length black hair and bangs
Eyes: White sclera with dark brown almost black irises
Favorite Food: Cotton Candy
Scent: Peonies & Cotton Candy
~~~
Azure Lion
Birth Name: Qīngmáo Shī (Azure Lion)
Physical Traits: Azure skin with a spiky orange shoulder-length mane, and two tufts at the front are tied with bands, orange facial hair, and sharp fangs, a broad chest, and feline knees
Eyes: Pink sclera with even paler pink irises
Favorite Food: Spring Rolls
Scent: Almonds & Ginger
~~~
Golden-Winged Peng
Birth Name: Jīn Chì Dà Péng (Golden-Winged Dapeng)
Physical Traits: Pale aqua-feathers, an orange beak, a long teal feather on their head, dark rings around their eyes, broad shoulders, and a smaller waist, they also have retractable golden wings
Eyes: Fuchsia sclera with paler fuchsia irises
Favorite Food: Tofu
Scent: Eucalyptus & Spearmint
~~~
Yellow Tusk Elephant
Birth Name: Huáng Yá Bái Xiàng (Yellow-Toothed White Elephant)
Physical Traits: White skin with four yellow tusks, gray braided hair, and teal markings around his eyes
Eyes: Pink sclera with paler pink irises
Favorite Food: Baozi
Scent: Cardamom & Ylang Ylang
~~~
Nezha
Birth Name: Ne Zha
Physical Traits: Tan skin with shoulder-length black hair that fluffs out towards the bottom, the top half of it is in twin buns, he has pointed ears, and red makeup above his eyebrows
Eyes: White sclera with pastel pink irises
Favorite Food: Ramen
Scent: Lotus Flowers & Vanilla
~~~
Chang'e
Birth Name: Chang'e 
Physical Traits: Pale skin with long, fluffy black hair, and bangs, and blue lipstick with gold eyeshadow
Eyes: White sclera with pale blue irises
Favorite Food: Mooncakes
Scent: Cinnamon & Nutmeg
~~~
Jin
Birth Name: Jīn Jiǎo Dàwáng (Golden Horn King)
Physical Traits: Orange skin, with golden hair that's short in the back and long on the sides, pointed ears, and large horns at his forehead, he is identical to his brother except for his color scheme
Eyes: Red sclera with lighter red irises
Favorite Food: Peking Duck
Scent: Vetiver & Black Pepper
~~~
Yin
Birth Name: Yín Jiǎo Dàwáng (Silver Horn King)
Physical Traits: Blue skin, with silver hair that's short in the back and long on the sides, pointed ears, and large horns at his forehead, he is identical to his brother except for his color scheme
Eyes: Red sclera with lighter red irises
Favorite Food: Peking Duck
Scent: Vetiver & Lilies
~~~
Scorpion Queen
Birth Name: Xiēzi Jīng (Scorpion Spirit)
Physical Traits: Pale green skin with a dark green abdomen and tail, which has two golden stripes on each end, and on each side of her body, she has three legs that are purple in the end, like her claws. She has dark green hair with long sideburns and pointed twin buns, and has prominent mandibles
Eyes: Dark magenta sclera and pink irises
Favorite Food: Ice Cream
Scent: Sage & Grapefruit
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So I know Spindrax isn't a canon character, but like... We can all agree that she should be right? LITERAL LOOK AT HER SHE'S SO PERFECT WHY WOULDN'T THEY INCLUDE HER!?
Anyway-
For those of you wondering about the 'scent' thing in the profiles above, it's cuz I have an online discord friend with synesthesia and she was like 'describe the characters to me via scents' and I was like, okay I guess, so. Yeah.
And I suppose it's helpful since in a lot of my fanfictions and others fanfictions, scent matters a lot in demon culture, so like, hey. Hope these headcanons on what they all smell like help you all.
And please don't think I'm weird.
This is normal.
This is a normal thing that I've done, for completely normal reasons. At 2 am on a Wednesday.
But lowkey, I did so much research on perfumes and which scents pair well together for this, it's not even funny. And I did the same for my oc's. So be prepared for that post after this soon enough.
I hope you guys liked them, and peace out.
(Plays despacito and emotes away)
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hamlet-yam · 1 year ago
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day 5 spider queen and her minions
rip all of them
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qingyingpocketlirary · 6 months ago
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The Spider's Web 1
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Her mother and sisters must be laughing in their graves.
How foolish, how incompetent, how desperate she must have become to not realise, to not comprehend the grave mistake she’d made. The threat and ruin she had allowed into her lair, so close to her clan’s last chance!
It was too late to drive the danger away now, the parasite had already tricked and stolen enough power to wipe out the clan and some of the city. No, she couldn’t allow this, not when she knew just how horrid things would be.
So, she would do what any mother would do for her children.
She took steps to protect them from what she knew was to come. She sent them all out as often as she could, even for minor things, hoping that they would not be caught in what horror was to come. She wove them the finest protection charms into their clothes, warm clothes to keep the damned chill away from them, even if only for a while. She placed thin but unbreakable webs over them in their sleep, to keep them protected from any harm that might come at them. She took time to look, actually look at them all, taking in the way they behaved with each other, how close they were despite their differences and difficulties, their features and mannerisms, and hoped that they would keep such closeness for the struggles to come.
And for the first time in centuries, she prayed, even though she knew none of the Heavenly Bastards above would hear her, that even if she did not, her children, the small remnant of the once mighty clan she had held onto for so long, would survive.
What more can a Queen do for her people? What more can a mother do for her children?
“My Queen?” The oldest of her clansmen began, his tone nervous as he approached her nest, taking care not to break any of her webbing with his steps.
“Yes Huntsman, what is it?” She asked, pausing her work to look upon him. 
“You did not join us for dinner, My Queen.” He stated, and offered her the large bowl he had brought with him, it was filled with fresh food, she knew from the scent of it that he’d personally prepared the meal for her.
Unlike Syntax, who had retained his ability to eat normal human foods and could survive on minimal meals a week from his time as a human, Huntsman, Goliath and she needed regular meals and at times, fresh meals. As of late, she had taken to making sure that they ate first, sometimes even forgoing her own meals to make sure that they had eaten their fill before she served herself.
Of course, Huntsman would notice this. Of all her clansmen, he was the closest to her, having followed her from the ruins of her Mother’s hollow and helped her form a new home, small as it was. Huntsman’s loyalty to her was such that nothing, not even death could shake it. She knew that all too well, days of struggling and suffering without proper food in their bellies in those years had been horrid, but always, Huntsman tried to bring in the best and freshest kills for her. He had brought down foes twice, thrice or even quadruple his size for their furs to keep her warm and used their bones to craft her weapons so that she would be safe while he hunted and scouted for a safe place they could start over in.
A Queen must survive for the empire to thrive. He’d often tell her when she’d worried over him in those early years and now…
She shook the thoughts away. The past could not help her now, she had to focus on the here and now so that she could try and salvage some form of a future.
“Thank you, Huntsman.” She said, setting aside her work to take the bowl from him. “The others?” She asked, waving him to sit with one of her legs as she ate her meal.
“Syntax is in the main chamber again, working to fix the spider mech as you requested. I managed to get him to take a short break, but he did not eat much.” He told her, sitting at the edge of her nest as she had permitted. “He said he was close to at least fixing the heating, so the temperature should at least go up again soon.” 
That made sense, for all the tensions at the start, Syntax was devoted to his work and his tasks, and even if he was still just a child in their eyes, as a former mortal, he was technically an adult. She found herself smiling at the information of her youngest clansman, knowing he would need to be reminded to eat again soon and it would no doubt spark an argument between Syntax and Huntsman. It was not a bad thing, not really, despite the apparent heat and anger between them, the two had an understanding between them. 
It was almost brotherly in nature, the way the two would bicker and challenge one another, it reminded her of the days when she was younger, watching the young males display and dance about trying to impress her sisters and mother. Syntax would let Huntsman drag him from his lab and make him eat, and in turn, Syntax would help Huntsman locate places where he could hunt without being caught and where no one would miss a few people if they suddenly vanished.
“Goliath is on guard at the rear entrance. He is worried that the cooling temperature will attract outsiders seeking easy meals from the eggs.” Huntsman continued, a sad undertone in his words that tugged at her own heart. 
Goliath was the strongest of her warriors physically, and just as loyal to her as Huntsman, if she asked him to, he would fight the impossible odds. But he had been very young when they had been forced to flee their home, and it had only been later when she’d learnt the horrors he had seen. The ruination of the shared nursery, millions of eggs, each one a potential sister or brother, the very core of the Hollow’s community. It had broken something deep within Goliath, to the point that he was almost catatonic outside of following orders. They hadn’t known how to help him, until she had gone through her first labour, and Goliath had seemed to automatically go into ‘guardian’ mode, tending the eggs with a tenderness and care she’d almost forgotten was possible. 
To help him in the years since then, she had allowed him to guard and tend any eggs she laid, even though they all knew the eggs would never hatch, it had given Goliath a new sense of purpose and driven him to keep going, a part of him that he’d feared lost when the old hollow was destroyed.
She finished her meal and reached for her work once again, finishing the final details with ease. It was a large coat, lined with thick fur to keep the wearer warm. Too big for her, and much too big for Syntax or Huntsman. She cut the web free and folded the thick and heavy black fabric neatly over her arms. “I must be sure he rests, and that he is warm.” She told Huntsman.
“Yes my Queen.” He nodded and moved aside with the empty bowl to give her the space she needed to move.
The cave was cold now, so very, very cold. Even with a hot meal to warm her insides she could feel the chills, and despite herself she fought to keep the shivers at bay as she walked the tunnels, passing Syntax as he worked in the largest cave space, filled with the sound of working tools and small bursts of light. 
He was muttering to himself, likely unaware of the echo that meant some of his words could be heard as the youngest of her clansmen bent and twisted in truly unnatural ways as he attempted to fix the mech. Knowing he would not be pulled away any time soon, she continued deeper into the caves and tunnels, passed the room where the danger was at work, and past the caves that had become her clansmens’ rooms, into a long tunnel that seemed to stretch on and on until it opened into a smaller cavern. 
Passing a small cave, the opening of which was covered in thick fur hides to form a door, woven together with heavy webbing, she paused and with gentle care, lifted the door to glance within.
The cave was warm, thanks to a small portable heater, plugged into a socket that hung from above, she knew, if she followed the wires from the socket, she’d find a generator in the small cave above them, one of many that Syntax had set up as a way to power his lab before he was turned, but this generator had been set up later, and was solely for this small cave.
Eggs lined the walls and floor of this cave, each one green with potential and possibilities, but they would come to nothing. She knew because they were all unfertilized and thus, could never hatch into anything. Instead, they were merely an aid to her largest Clansman’s mental stability, a promise of a future to come when the Spider Clan was once again strong and able.
Syntax had set the heater up the day after the strange chill started to set in, and Huntsman had made the covering for the doorway to keep the heat inside. Satisfied that the nest cave was safe, she tucked the door back down and went on her way. 
Goliath was tucked up into a corner of the ceiling of the entrance to their home. It was an unassuming garage, part of a boarded up and foreclosed building at the very edge of the city, a few streets away from the city’s limits where it was easy to slip into the woodland and vanish into the mountains beyond. A swift escape route for the young, should they ever need to flee from their home, a feature that had been added after the ruin of the Spider Hollow, to try and insure that the same fate never came to pass again.
Goliath dropped down from his place as she approached, and bent low so that he could press his fist into the ground in a bow to her. “My Queen.” He greeted and she noted the faint shivers of his body as he spoke.
“Rise, my warrior.” She bid, a smile on her face as he stood, but deliberately kept his stance low so as not to stand too tall beside her. “I have a gift for you.” She said and offered him the coat she had finished making.
“A gift My Queen?” He parroted before taking the offered coat.
“The chill inside is becoming bothersome, even with Syntax’s efforts to at least give us back some form of heat. Syntax and Huntsman have already been given more suitable clothes, but yours took me a little longer to finish.” She explained as the muscular warrior pulled the coat on.
It fit him well, not too tight or slack, and just a little too long in the arms to allow for better coverage over his hands in the chill. 
“Thank you, My Queen.” He thanked, unable to keep the smile from his face as he bowed to her again.
Would it be enough…? No. Not against this wickedness she had allowed into their home. But it was something, and something was better than nothing.
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I've seen other fan works that call the Strong Spider Goliath, so I am using that name for him. Until then, I hope you all enjoy!!
Part 2 >
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emmetscrunglo · 1 year ago
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How I think LMK characters would react as 'can you buy me pads' texts Pt. 2 (Pt. 1, Pt. 3)
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glitcheslikeslego · 11 months ago
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Some funky things about my Skylanders LMK thing
it's a few ideas I came up with while drawing cause i don't think i've talked abt it on here :0
Jin and Yin are defected Arkeyan Machines, while drawing Jin I came up with the idea of their faceplates being similar to the Arkeyan Conquertron (so i can include the horns)
Nuwa is a Life elemental Giant, some other Giants include the Scorpion Queen (Dark), the Jade Emperor (Light), and Azure (Magic) after he kills the Jade Emperor
After some back and forth, I decided it would be really funny to make the little girl (Bai He) a portal master
All of the spiders have the Undead element, except for Syntax, who has the Tech element
Macaque's body has a ghostly bottom half and wields his Shadow Lantern as a weapon, inspired from Ninjini's wispy body and her bottle
Also with Macaque, before he became an Undead element, he used to be Dark
Red Son and Sandy are the only ones of their element, being Fire and Water respectively
And the element with the most characters is Undead, having Macaque, Lady Bone Demon, The Mayor, Spider Queen, Huntsman, Strong Spider (or Goliath), and the Nine Headed Demon
Nezha has the Life elemental and not Fire, this is because I really wanted to double down on the lotus theming and expand his move set a bit more
A lot of the inspiration for this came from Skylanders: Giants cause that is my absolute fav ever <3
i'll add some more later, but this is what i have for now :3
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ironwarriorsdawn · 10 months ago
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twinklecupcake · 1 year ago
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They're so goofy
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jttwconfessions · 10 months ago
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i dont rlly know how to do these things, but okay. I rlly wished we got more spider demon content. I wanted to know more about them as characters, their story, how they got to be in spider queen's side, etc. (if that makes any sense) ESPECIALLY Strong Spider/Goliath and Huntsman. I NEED to know about them, i love the spider demons bro, theyre my favorite villains in the whole entire series :[
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potatobugz · 2 years ago
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YAY!! YAY!! SPIDER DEMONS
(and red son is there too i guess)
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yuendelahoya · 1 year ago
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Big lego men having some tea
There's not enough Giantshipping in the world, I need these big men to love each other fkdnddjdn
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quitealotofsodapop · 2 years ago
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More incorrect quotes from the delightful @justweirddino
Organising these in a set so I respond to all of them, also I have the transcripts in the image descriptions.
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Oh gosh so many to react to /pos
Macaque spent a lot of time either on the moon, in the Jade Palace, or in the wilds. He thinks Wukong's sense of enviromental hygiene is appaling for a monkey with his own treasury. Is def the one of the pair who starts organising/tidying up anywhere they go. Pigsy starts yelling like Gordon Ramsey if there's any mess in the kitchen or pantry area - chef habits.
2. Nezha mentions that he's part lotus around Sandy, and the big blue softy cant bring himself to eat lotus roots ever again. Wukong stayed vegan for a long time, but sometimes a monkey needs some protein. Macaque meanwhile has infact eaten other sapient beings, granted if they were already dead.
3. MK whenever they have to go somewhere vaguelly horrifying; "This Is fine." :) Can't wait till this little guy stumbles into Diyu.
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4. Nezha holds the family braincell whenever Pigsy isn't available. I love how it's 100% in all their characters; Macaque would be the type to steal a car if it helped with the situation (no matter how petty). Wukong does not fear personal injury. And MK is basically a trash disposal unit when it comes to materials.
5. Wukong is 100% a "if my knee is gonna give me chronic pain, just amputate the leg"-kinda guy. Probably thinks its acceptable to take out your body parts for maintenace. He legit jokes about it during a Jttw chapter where he has to gut himself to show up some taoist priests.
6. Pigsy. Family braincell holder, and very tired of Wukong's nonsense.
7. It took Mei and MK a while to question anything in the TMKATI au. Mei chalked her comparatively dark complexion up to Macaque or Tang, and the scales and fire to whatever Big Bro Nezha was. Kid logic. There was def a period of time where Mei just knew she wa adopted, but the parents hadn't broken the news to her yet. It was an awkward conversation.
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8. Erlang is stress incarnate. That third eye gives him images he does not want to see. Just radiates stress like a salt lamp. XD
9. Tbf we are talking about a manipulative murder monkey. MK introduces anyone to Macaque and it's like;
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10. I don't know why, but I adore the idea of the Spider Gang post-S3 joining up with Red and the Demon Bull fam. Red probably admires Syntax's programming skills on the Spider-Bots, and offers him a job maintaining the Bull Clones... but DBK and Red are still a bit sore from New Years so they don't 100% trust or respect the spiders just yet. XD
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Ty so much for sending these in! These weer really fun to read and to think about.
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krystal-dragon · 9 months ago
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Lmk characters with digimon partners part 4
Preview / Next
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violetjedisylveon · 4 months ago
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Got the stupidest idea for how Mei tracks down Bai He and Chao-Xing after season 5.
Basically she and Bai He's girlfriend both fake getting pregnant from their last run in with the twins before Xiangliu recalled them in preparation for season 5, the twins each had a Dead Girl Walking moment and... stuff happened 😏
I asked about a lesbian version of the song for a reason
They find Goliath (Strong Spider) out on a supply run and politely ask(threaten) where the "parents" of their totally real children are because they want child support.
Surprisingly this works.
Goliath takes the two of them to Scorpion Queen's palace where the spider fam has been chilling and awkwardly explains why he brought two of the people the twins are trying to avoid right to their front door, and just embarrass the hell out of Bai He and Chao-Xing, while Mei and Bai He's girlfriend are smugly watching this all go down.
Is this stupid? Yes. One of the dumbest things I've come up with.
But I think it's funny as hell so it's happening.
Grinning Shadow AU Masterpost
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