#lore will be filled out later ^_^

[robotsafari]

the robo garden continues.

i have two new children the first one is Potpie (No Pronouns) and the other one is Elysia (Mirror Pronouns)

[toast-in-a-cowboy-hat]

You ever think about the fact that the Michael we'd had this whole time, the Michael that Base broke out of the Compound, is and was most likely just one of the various iterations and not technically the "real" Michael That the Original Michael, that one made the deal with Ty, that walked into the Compound willing to be experimented on to try to keep everyone safe, most likely never left and probably died there?

[puhpandas]

when u think about it SB catered to the fandom fun silly character oriented side of fnaf and SOTM is catering to the og lore oriented checking cameras finding secrets side of fnaf

[valeriefauxnom]

What The Heck Was Going On In The Royal Family???

Ok, I've dug up my fair share of 'huh, they never really mentioned that' in Dragalia about the royal family already, like Leonidas' secret panther he kept as a pet or the running faint suggestion Phares is not an organized person, but I must say, I'm not sure how I overlooked this exceedingly rare lore hint about the QUEEN:

Fullmetal Alchemist references so blatant that even I (who has never seen or read any of its works) can recognize aside, while I had known Cassandra had started trying to resurrect Aurelius, there clearly was something else going on here, too.

Specifically, this line:

"We're not talking about tryin' to cram a soul back in its old box like a certain queen we won't mention. This is playing Frankenstein for your own selfish reasons."

To that, I say: what?

Cassandra isn't exactly associated with any queens, and yet the only one was in her vicinity for the most of her life was the Queen of Alberia.

Here, to me, even if the details are vague, it still seems like some dramatic moment in Alberia. Doleur is contrasting what he knows is an 'evil' act (raising the dead and trying of, as with Aurelius), with some unspecified incident in which the queen... apparently needed her soul 'crammed back' into, presumably, her own body?

Alternatively, I suppose one could take Doleur's words as instead a contrast of it being for a selfish reason, which would leave both actions free to be potentially 'evil' on Dragalia's scale of Magical Morality. There, I might almost be tempted to float the idea that Cassandra was at one point trying to resurrect the Queen, not to try to bring her own love back, but Aurelius'. After all, the Queen died when Euden and Zethia were still pretty young, as is stated and shown several times. Even Leonidas was maybe an early teen.

I could see Aurelius being doubly upset not just for the loss of his wife, but also the confusion of how the heck he's going to keep an adequate eye and help rearing the throng of children he has, since he himself is rather busy with little things like the running of the country. Can't let all those scheming servants, nobles, or guards get any claws into them, after all, and it would be even more difficult without another parent to keep track of these sorts of things. There we could get an easy 'evil, but selfless act' - she's trying to bring back the true love of the man she loves back, but trying to use evil magic to do so.

So... yeah. Whatever the case may be, whether there was some funky incident of the Queen's soul getting misplaced and needing Fix-It Cassandra, Court Sorceress Extraordinaire to find it, or her having dabbled in necromancy even before Aurelius to try to get his wife back, there definitely was Something going on regarding the Queen and I am pained we'll never hear about it!!!

As a last note, this whole thing gets doubly more complicated when you realize that the Queen is still seemingly kicking about the world spiritually, strongly suggested to be haunting Euden, and even funnier when you also realize Aurelius is also suggested to be his own presence, both within Zodiark and maybe able to protectively haunt Cassandra too.

Can none of the Alberian Royal Family have a normal life or death, for that matter????

[atannaz]

definitely thinking arcane!verse zatanna would be someone who has magic, just like her father ... but it is something kept in secret. zatanna's father is very much " a performer ", &. zatanna has helped him on the stage all her life, &. in privacy, he has taught her how to control this magic. zatanna wants to use it to help others, but while her father agrees it is a good idea, he does not want to risk the safety of his daughter.

[ditch-lily]

i started listening to a stitch in time today and like i knew what it was going in. but wow garak really is narrating his traumatic life story and lovingly sending each installment to his ex situationship

[xylofondue]

Kai sadly trudging over to the “my love interest is gone/doesn’t remember me” corner with Nya and Zane since I started making Lee’s (my oc) DR lore

Basically he’s a bounty hunter who has very very vague memories from before the Merge

The foggiest of memories because why not

Concussions go brrrr

I think he’d be friends with Jay and the Administration because he would find and bring in a lot of people.

[musicalyume]

girls after getting one(1) yumecomm: how can i put this on everything

© notfoundsnword

[yesyourstalker]

Mahi: ..….... *sleep*...........*sleep*...........*sleep*

Neta:......*eating*.....*eating*...... Really mahi?

News anchor: it's going to be a cloudy day today folks. low humidity with a slight breeze out we do have a slight chance of rain tonight and off of this week so enjoy this day while we have it

[beep beep]

Gai(deadbeat): I'm out side

Neta: I'll be out in a sec

Neta: mahi get up you're closing the store today remember. You're late

Neta: mahi!

Mahi: mmmmmm.....

Neta: mahi!.

Mahi: I'm up! I'm up ........ ...... can I get another pain killer before I go?

Neta: *sigh*...........there might be some in the cabinet

Mahi: alright.......... which bottles is it you have tons of pills in here

Neta:*sigh*.......with the yellow label in the white bottle...*huff* let me get it ..................here, this one isn't so strong take one

Mahi: alright. Cod ......

Neta: you're already running late. Just be at work by 4:00 okay? We need a manager to close the store

Mahi: yeah yeah. let me just take a quick shower and I'm off

Neta: alright. See ya in two days

Mahi: Where are you going exactly?

Neta: it's a long complicated story that doesn't concern you. See ya

_______________________________________________

Neta:.... alright sorry for the wait....

Gai: no worries. Let's get going..

[30min into the drive]

Neta:.........................................................

Gai:.....................................................................so...how have you been.

Neta: I've been fine Dad.

Gai: that's good.... you're really going to be surprised by the house we used to live in....

Neta: hmmmmm

Gai: we had plenty of space outside we were thinking of putting a playground for you when you got older.

Neta: wow that's nice...

Gai: the house is technically one story but we have a basement and an attic

Neta: uh-huh...

Gai: it's a 4 bed and 3 bath.... Maybe you might remember this place

Neta:..................

Gai:. ..................hm

Neta:......................

_______________________________________________

Mahi: Candi, can you fill in for me I still feel hungover

Candi: No Mahi. Go to work It's only 5 hours

Mahi: Please I really don't feel like gooooing

Candi: No mahi I'm not filling in for you. You think you're the first one to go to work hungover?

Mahi: Come on Candi! Please I barely ask you for anything. Can you just do this one thing for me?

Candi:......................... Okay Mahi fine.

Mahi: love ya Candi

Candi: Let me just get out of this hospital bed and leave my baby unattended so I can fill in for your shift.

Mahi: oh

Candi: Oh no! It's no problem really. I'm pretty sure Ona will be fine without me. She's only 2 days old, she should be fine.

Mahi: Nevermind...... I'm sorry

Candi: I'm in the car now. I sure hope my stitches are healed enough for me to stand for 5 hours

Mahi: Ok I get it! I'm going to work! fuck

Candi: Great have fun at work see you in 3 weeks

Mahi: alright....bye........... congrats on the new baby

Candi: awwww thank yoooou. bye!

Mahi: *sigh*.........fuck

_______________________________________________

Merv: son don't stand behind the manatees one kick from them and you're in the hospital.

Noiji: he's right you know. that's how I lost my eye. (POP). . see?

Warabie: UGHH!

Ikkan: heheh noiji stop heheheh that's gross

Noiji: hahahahahahahahah

Merv: noiji put your eye back in and stop goofing off

Noiji: ok ok..I'll stop hehehe

Warabie: .....you were joking right? That was a joke

Merv: he was just teasing you. These girls are quite peaceful and don't startle easily but still be cautious

Warabie: alright............ how did you lose your eyes? if you don't mind me asking

Noiji: I have this thing called Polycythemia and when I was 12 I had a blood clot-

Merv: boys prep the animals before you start conversations

_______________________________________________

Warabie: hello

Mahi: hey man

Warabie: hey mahi. what are you doing?

Mahi: oh you know folding shirts stocking chokers. what are you doing?

Warabie: prepping a manatee so it can get milked

Mahi:...................cool?......... I guess......

Warabie: Yeah...... Surprisingly, it's not as bad as it sounds first we have to sanitize their nip-

Mahi: yeah no I don't want that image in my head thanks..... Candi had her baby......what color is this?

Warabie: what?!? She had her baby already!?

Mahi: Yeah her ink sac broke while she was working and it left a stain on the floor in the bathroom. Everyone's fighting about what color it is. I think it's baby blue.

Anto: It's not baby blue! You fucking idiot!!

Warabie: let me see........ Awwww the baby is turquoise.

Mahi: that is not turquoise. Turquoise has like a little bit of green in it.....right?

Naomi: No that's teal

Vinny: It's obviously aqua

Anto: No it isn't! it's sky blue! You know that if your head wasn't suck up your ass

Vinny: Ay watch yourself mother fucker, I'm not scared to go back to prison

Fugue: The color is very obvious

Anto: Oh really? What color is it since you seem to know of more than anyone else here?

Fugue: It's cyan

Vinny:............pfffthh...hehehehehhahahaha what? What is that?

Anto: Oh shut the fuck up! Are you serious!

Fugue: that shade would be considered Cyan

Anto: iT's cYaAnN!! You always have to make yourself seem like the smartest person in the fucking room.

Warabie:........…........

Mahi: I'll call you back later......... Cyan is a neon color right That's not bright enough to be cyan

_______________________________________________

[3 hours in the drive]

Neta:......................

Gai:...................

Neta:...... ...........................

Gai: have you been talking to your aunt lately?

Neta: yeah we're talking

Gai: she tell you she's talking to Eddie again

Neta: not Eddie

Gai: that's what I said

Neta: how many chances is she going to give this guy?

Gai: I don't know. I'm honestly getting sick of him showing up randomly.

Neta: is he at least sober?

Gai: hell if I know

Neta: *ugh*..............................my blood sugar I get low. I need something to eat

Gai: alright I could eat I saw a takeout place.

_______________________________________________

Gai: this Place is actually really good. I've been here before It's the best takeout I'm telling you lady oyster is the best takeout place they The crab and lobster in their house Special fried rice

Neta: ehhh ..... I wouldn't say that this is the best place. Ikkan and I used to eat at a place called jelly wok, they put a whole friend egg on top of their lo mein and fried rice

Gai:.. what color is the shrimp with lobster sauce there?

Neta: brown..... it's the good kind

Gai: oh....was it eel owned?

Neta: isopod owned actually. They snuck up to the surface 12 years ago and no one said anything so they stayed

Gai: huh....well I think this place is better

_______________________________________________

Neta:....*eating*........hm ...it's not bad......*eating*.... it's really good

Gai: see... it's good like I said

Neta: i didn't expect them to have the coconut cream shrimp you rarely see that on menus nowadays

Gai: yeah it's octarian owned..

Neta:..... I can tell it's delicious..... Surface takeout and underground takeout are so similar when it comes to rice and noodles....*eating*......but their main dishes.....*eating * we don't have soft shell crab down below....... Wish we did.........*eating*.....

Gai: .........*eating*............... welp let's get back on the road...you want to drive?

Neta: yeah

_______________________________________________

Gai:........................

Neta:.......................

Gai: how do you grow your tentacles so fast

Neta: distilled water..... I wash it in distilled water....I also stopped dying it to the root so it grows faster now

Gai: I see.... Noticing you have a little bit of pattern now

Neta: yeah... I was surprised when it started to show up again. I've been dying it for so never thought it would come back

Gai: you have the same pattern as your mother.......

Neta:..oh........ really?

Gai: yeah just like it..hm...

Neta:............................................I don't remember that much about mom.............

Gai: you were too young when she passed............hehehe she loved you tho... When you were born she showed you off to everyone... Coworkers, neighbors, the mailman ..hahaha he haha.... We couldn't get out of the hospital without her making nurses and doctors stop to look at her baby hehehe.... She'd show you swimming in your little ink tank

Neta:hehehe.....................

Gai:......................

Neta: oh shit I forgot!

Gai: what? what happened

Neta: nothing, nothing My friend just had a baby and I told her I was going to give her Cirrina's old ink take when she was a baby.......... Let's do a quick stop so I can make a phone call. We need gas anyway

_______________________________________________

Mahi:hello?

Neta: mahi go to my room for a quick sec

Mahi: I'm already in your room

Neta:........................* Inhale* * exhale*...... Okay...... Go to my closet and you'll see an ink tank that needs to go to Candi... You think you can give it to her?

Mahi: this pink backpack thingy

Neta: yes... that I also have a box of diapers and clothes for her too. but I'll give that to her later

Mahi: I don't think the hospital will allow me in. I can see

Neta: just ask for Candi

Mahi: ok......... where are you anyway?

Neta: uhhhhh? Dad?

Gai: we just made it trout mountains..*yawn*..... Another hour and and we get a motel tomorrow we'll drive to the house

Neta: we're in the mountains....... it's really nice up here..... actually...... I can see the city from up here.

Mahi: cool ...... Can I use your car?

Neta: no

Mahi: but your car has Built-In splatify and gps!

Neta: just use your phone, Go to the hospital. Ask for Candi. Give the ink tank to a nurse, she'll know what to do with it.........oh ......and take a picture of the baabbyy. I want to see her... Oh she's probably so cute

Mahi: inkfish babies are kinda ugly

Neta: what?

Mahi: nothing I see ya bye

_______________________________________________

Gai:..........*huff*.......*huff*........... I'm gonna go back to the car .......*huff*......... little light headed

Neta: dad?........ Dad!....... hey hey .....you okay?

Gai:....*cough*.... yeah.... I'm fine just thin air I guess heh.......ugh......*ssssssssssss*

Neta: something wrong with your neck?

Gai: no

Neta: let me see

Gai: Neta-

Neta:oh cod! .....dad!

Gai: I'm fine

Neta: how long have you had that sore?

Gai: only a couple of weeks it's fine I usually put a bandage on when it opens up again

Neta:. again!................*huff*............... Do you have any bandages?

Gai: in my glove compartment there should be some bandages and gauze

Neta: *hmmm*..... I'll drive the rest of the way..... you said the motel is an hour away?

Gai: yeah

_______________________________________________

Mahi: yeah hi I'm here to visit Candi.

Nurse: who?

Mahi: oh uhhh Candice

Nurse: Candice????

Mahi: Temp. Candice Temp

Nurse: Mrs. Temp okay ..... well visiting hours usually end around 11:30 but I can call her room and see if she wants any visitors

Mahi: mk...

Nurse: you can see her now

Mahi: cool . ...um... I was told to give a nurse this ink tank thing

Nurse: yep I'll take that. Thank you

_______________________________________________

Candi: look at her

Donn: she's beautiful.... and so tiny

Candi: I wouldn't say that.. pushing for 6 hours......but she's so precious

Baby: *yawn*....

Donn: awwwww.....

Mahi:...*knock*....*knock*...... hey Candi

Candi: hey Mahi....you brought the maternity tank?

Mahi: yeah. The nurse has it.............so that's your baby?

Candi: Yeah....... Who else would she belong to?

Mahi:... I don't know.........hm.... Is it supposed to look weird and squishy?

Candi: yes she's mostly ink right now.....so yeah she's supposed to look weird and squishy. ......you want to hold her?

Mahi: no

Candi: please... you'll look so cute holding the baby

Mahi: fine

Candi: awwww

Mahi: emm...................... what's her name?

Donn: Ona.

Mahi: oh.... that's nice........you can take Ona back now............ you're not gonna be here for three weeks so Seth will be taking over until you return

Candi: That's the plans

Mahi: Okay great

Nurse: The maternity tank is all set up for you ma'am

Candi: thank you

mahi: All right I'm going to Head back home..... Neta wanted me to take a picture of the baby to show him

Candi: no need I'm planning on doing a professional shoot tomorrow

_______________________________________________

Neta:........................

Gai:......*snoring*.,......*snoring*

Neta: hello?

Ikkan: hey babe. I didn't expect you to be up I was going to send a voicemail

Neta: oh.... sorry...... what are you doing

Ikkan: nothing getting ready to start my day...you?

Neta: about to go to sleep.... just made it to a motel

Ikkan: that's good, get some rest. I love you

Neta: I love you too. tell crab cakes I said hi.....................

Gai:....*snoring*..........*snoring*.....

Gai: *sigh*....

_______________________________________________

Neta:...............

Gai:.................

Neta: ................

Gai: .........you seem tense

Neta: did you even think about getting treatment before it started to spread? Did you catch it early? Did you catch it too late? What's going on dad?

Gai: do I really need to talk about this right now

Neta: Yes we do....we need to talk about this........ Why are you doing this? Why do you constantly......*sigh*..........[pulling over]

Gai: I made my decision Neta. Are you still mad about that?

Neta: you really think it's just that?! You really think I'm only mad about that! Not leaving me alone in the house by myself so you can go drink, not dropping me at my aunt's house when you couldn't deal with me, or enrolling me in the military or abandoning me in a mental hospital for 10 months!!! You missed my first wedding, you weren't there for the birth of your granddaughter and you haven't reached out for 18 fucking years!!!! and now that you're sick and dying you think it's the perfect time to reach out to me!!!

Gai...........

Neta: I just want to know why!? Why aren't you getting help or medical attention?!?!

Gai: you don't understand.........I just want to use my last moments in life to be a father and make up for lost time

Neta:.....................................HOW?! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE UP FOR! WITH SOME SHITTY ROAD TRIP?! DAD YOU ABANDON ME! PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY!! ALL THE TIMES I NEEDED YOU WENT THERE AND NOW!. ... . WHEN YOU'RE FINALLY DECIDING TO BE A FATHER FOR ONCE IT'S WHEN YOU'RE DYING!? WHEN YOU KNOW IF YOU FUCK UP YOU WON'T HAVE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!.....

Gai: son I-

Neta: I'm a 35 year old man!! Where were you when I was 19 and got a girl pregnant!!?? I had to teach myself how to parent!! When I was in a band!? I was successful I didn't see in the crowd! My business was one news opening day not a single phone call nothing..........................*crying*........

Gai: neta

Neta: and now you're here. Things were actually working out we're talking and laughing things are going great.... I'm spending quality time with my Dad something I've wanted for years...................*sobbing*...... It just feels like you're leaving me all over again........... every time I think you're here to stay you always find a way to leave me.......*sobbing*.......or get away from me all .....the time

Gai:.....................................*sigh*......... Neta......... I'm tired ........ I really am

Neta:.......................

Gai:.................... I lost my career ... ...my friends.....my home ......my wife.......You...........I lost everything in one moment and it ........it ruined me.....

_______________________________________________

[flash back sequins]

Gai: so what we have to leave? Where do we go?! This is octoling Territory!

Inkling soldier 1: all residents within the 50 mile radius have to leave the property..

Inkling soldier 2: sorry I know this is an inconvenience but we've reclaimed this property. We will be mailing information about your new location and where you'll be placed

Gai:No! I just bought this house! this is on an octarian base!.... what about my job. How am I supposed to go to work?

Inkling soldier 2: all factories, stores and businesses have already been shut down. They closed this morning

Gai: are you kidding so I'm out of job!.........

Inkling soldier 1: my apologies sir.... I don't agree with it either

Gai:.. come on man......you can't do this to us .....we just moved here....... our kid isn't even a toddler yet. Is there any way we can stay? I don't have that much money I can try-

Inkling soldier2: the land has been reclaimed for inklings we have a copy of the treaty if you want proof

Gai:"reclaimed" it was never yours to claim!!

Sydney: Gai please

Inkling soldier 2: sir if you don't leave the premises within a month we will have to take it by force...

Inkling soldier 1: your new location will be sent to you in the mail. Have a nice day

Gai:........[SLAM]...............cod damn it COD DAMN IT! Why is always me?

Sydney: honey......hey.... we'll be ok .... things like this happen all the time we'll bounce back like we always do

_______________________________________________

Gai: alright........ Everything is packed.... Neta is asleep.... let's go......

Sydney: here it says that our new location is going to be bunker 6988

Gai: just when you think you made it to the surface they find a way to shove you back underground

Sydney: [kiss] we'll be back eventually

Inkling soldier: name?

Gai: Gai Vern

Inkling soldier: ID?

Gai: here

Inkling soldier: alright.. family of 3. ..step out of the car sir.....you too ma'am...... we'll direct you to the line for your placement

Gai:.....

Sydney:.......

Gai: ok but what about our car? What are they doing with our car?!

Inkling soldier: sir we need you to get in line

Sydney: we have everything packed in there! Our clothes, my mothers cookware, baby supplies ..... Neta! His insulin! He needs that!

Inkling soldier: we're sorry to do this folks but no outside material once you enter the bunkers medical supplies will be given to you when needed

Gai:..........

_______________________________________________

Gai: we're home.......if you can call it that

Sydney:..... it's a little small...... but we'll make do... just until we get back on our feet. You find a job and I'll work from home with Neta

Gai:.. ....

Sydney: we'll be ok....[peck]

_______________________________________________

Gai:.............................................………

Sydney:........*huff*.........*huff*..........*huff*......... ... .........*smile* ..............

Gai:...... we'll be ok.... we'll bounce back like we always do

Sydney: yeah. . .......... ..... ....... . . . .... yeah ..

_______________________________________________

Gai: it's only going to be for a couple months. Okay I just need you to watch him......

Kat: months?

Gai: he's been acting out so just put him in his room if he does something. He's going to a different school he got kicked out the last one

Neta:.................

Kat: Gai......

Gai: I just need to get back on my feet..... I got another job and I just need to save enough money and I'm settled

Kat: you've been saying that for years

Gai: well what the fuck do you want me to do!? I'm doing my best!.... just look after him I got shit to do. I come back for em when I come back for em

Neta:.............

Kat: .......*sigh*.... Alright...

_______________________________________________

Gai:........................

Neta: [packing]....

Gai:........... ................*sigh*..... your first mission with a Splatoon. You should be proud you worked hard for this

Neta: not like I had a choice did I?.......

Gai: hay it was this or boarding school and we can't afford that

Neta: *heh*......... Let's hope you can afford my funeral. You're still paying debts off for Mom's

Gai: hey! Neta!

Neta: [SLAM] .......

_______________________________________________

[end of flashback]

Gai: when I saw you in the e-ward.... I guess I couldn't face you..... I didn't know what to do....felt like I lost everything and everyone... I honestly just gave up.......

Neta:......................................*inhale*.........*exhale*...................ok......... shit........................

Gai:.....*sigh*.....we're here.....

Neta: we are?

Gai: yeah follow this path.............up here............ they must have paved the road. It's a smooth drive...........here it is............*wh*............our house........oh wow

Neta:..... This was our home?

Gai: yeah......*sniff*..... This is it...... just how we left it..........*sniff*........ nothing has changed.....

Neta:...................wow

Gai: I got the key. Just gotta jiggle it a little and.. there..........*chough*..*cough* a little dusty tho

Neta:....................................

Gai: the skylight is new along with the furniture.....well it's not really new but not ours......tho it's nice. So? what do you think?

Neta:.....................................…...................

Gai: speechless right

Neta: yeah.....hehe... you bought this?

Gai: yeah back in 78, It's in perfect condition...(Pat ..Pat)

[CRASH]

Gai: almost perfect condition.......... Just needs a little bit of a repaint and diy and it should be fine

Neta: dad there's a hole in the ceiling

Gai: just have to put in another skylight it'll be fine

Neta: sure dad. which one was my room?

Gai: right here on the left...............looks like whoever owned this place turned it in an office...we spent weeks on the nursery.....*sigh*.....at least they kept the paint color the same.........

Neta:.hm .....

Gai: the basement seems the same the carpet is a bit darker than I remember

Neta: who owned this place? After you and mom left?

Gai: it was a vacation home for the first couple of years.....an inkling family moved in and then a urchin family owned it for a while...... that's all I know.....is that black mold?

Neta:..... what are you going to do with this place?

Gai: that's up to you.

Neta: what?

Gai: It's up to you. This land and this house is yours.... It'll take around a year for it to be restored. By the time I clean it, gut it, repaired and repainted I'll be in hospice

Neta:.........................................

Gai: it's yours. you're a home owner now you should be happy

Neta:... yeah.... I am .... I'm happy....... thanks dad.......how much time do you have left?

Gai: A year and several months doctors told me.......

Neta:.....................

_______________________________________________

Ikkan: so he's not getting any treatment?

Neta: no he's made up his mind

Ikkan: I'm sorry babe....he has plenty of time

Neta: I know.....*sigh*...... I don't blame him though.........*sniff*....*sigh*

Ikkan: maybe if you spend more time with him maybe he'll reconsider

Neta: I can only hope.

Ikkan: what does the house look like?

Neta: you'd love it's that mid something you like so much

Ikkan: mid-century?

Neta: yeah yeah it's that..... It is kind of worn down though you might need to hire some people to fix it up

Ikkan: where is it located?

Neta: in the mountains like waaay in the mountains, if you drive another half an hour, you'll make it to camp triggerfish

Ikkan: so the arowana mall would beee.....uhhh........at least an hour away by train

Neta: Cirrina would have to walk down to get to the train station for school that's at least 45 minutes

Ikkan: we can install a spawn pad

Neta: yeah...... When you get back I take you to the house. Sound good?

Ikkan: yeah we can do that. I'd also like to meet your Dad if that's ok....

Neta: yeah I'd like that. Cirrina should see her grandfather at least once....

Ikkan: think he has enough time to see you get married?

Neta: I didn't ask. That's just going to be another disappointment when he doesn't show up

Ikkan: Neta... I understand........

Neta: I'll ask....... but we're putting his chair in the back

Ikkan: good because invitations go out at the end of the month. I hope you picked your best man we have 2 months left and-

Noiji: PATTY'S HAVING HER CALF!!!

Ikkan: shit ok uhhhh I'll call you.......... In the morning - my morning.. I have to go bye!........... I love you Neta!

Neta:.........ok..... love you bye.

Gai: what was that?

Neta: nothing...... Do you have anything planned for the next few months

Gai: no. why?

_______________________________________________

Anto, mahi and @fish-at-fish-fish-resort spent 30 minutes arguing over the color of the ink stain that was left on the bathroom floor....

[spicyliumang]

Going back to replay IW for lore purposes is always an experience because each time I pick up something new 😭

[decidueyedreamerdetails]

I’ve been wondering something about Rayne’s world. Is it like another dimension, or a different universe entirely? I remember reading that she traveled between worlds. How does she do that?

Also a semi-related question. Do Legendaries in that world function the same as in other worlds? Like do they fulfill the same roles, or do they differ in any way?

Lastly, are Legendaries in your universe(s) immortal? I know that Rayne killed a bunch of them, but would they have died eventually anyway, or are they functionally immortal and can only die by a deliberate act? Is there a special technique you have to use? (I’m not planning on killing any of them I swear)

Sorry if that’s too many questions, I started thinking of more and more as I wrote this XD

What is Rayne’s World?

As a pre-warning I’m going to apologise for my blatant misuse of the word ‘Universe’. I know what it means, and the space and physics loving side of me hates that I’m misusing it, but I cannot think of a better term to explain it, so sorry in advance.

Okay, so to start with I’m going to explain what I consider Universes and Worlds! A Universe is a collection of Worlds (and some inbetween space, such as the Distortion World, Ultra Space, etc) and each Universe only has one Arceus and Creation Trio.

A World, however, is more comparable to the ACTUAL definition of universe - like the one we live in! The Pokémon, Pokémon Mystery Dungeon, and Poképark games would all be three separate Worlds for example! Furthermore, Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl would always take place in seperate Worlds, due to conflicting events.

Basically, if something would count as an alternate universe or alternate timeline, it’s a new World! If you’ve seen my Toyhouse, Canon Compliant and Hydra’s World (or as we’re calling it here, Rayne’s World) are both different Worlds in the same Universe, whereas Gods and Servants is another Universe entirely!

How does Rayne travel between Worlds?

Well, to answer that, I’m going to have to talk about another character entirely, as Rayne’s story does not begin with herself.

It begins with a Hisuian Decidueye, partner to the main character of Canon Compliant’s events of Pokémon Legends Arceus. This Decidueye is called Tansy, and after the events of PLA, she was frustrated that Arceus did not send her Trainer back to the present, and decided the reasonable course of action would to be to fight Arceus to show them that they were in the wrong.

This did not work, and Tansy was killed by Arceus after a hard battle. Impressed by her strength, however, they decided they could use her to help subdue rogue gods in others Worlds. Tansy was reborn as an Alolan Decidueye, and given a blessing so that she could not truly die - she would instead travel to another World when she was either killed, or subdued the rogue god in that specific World.

However, Tansy eventually stopped enacting Arceus’ will, and yet the god was not ready to lose out on her strength just yet. Tansy’s corpse had remained in Arceus’ realm, and so they decided to make an artificial soul to inhabit it and use its power. A soul that had Tansy’s skills and her blessing, but none of her personality, only a desire to make sure the gods did not step out of line and cause major problems. This being, now inhabiting inside of Tansy’s repaired body, was sent out into a random World to wake up. Initially, they did their job very well, but eventually became jaded by the amount of rogue gods they saw, and decided the obvious solution was to kill all of the gods before they turned rogue.

As I’m sure you will have guessed by now, this being was Rayne, although she is fully unaware of her origins. As far as she knows, she woke up in a field with amnesia, and has always been able to travel between Worlds either through death, or killing the ‘correct’ god.

However, after she became determined to kill every god in the World that we know as Hydra’s World, Arceus limited her blessing, and she was no longer able to travel between Worlds. Instead, she now returns to that same World, after a period of a few days to a few months.

Legendaries in Rayne’s World

Short answer to that; the Legendaries & Mythicals in Rayne’s World are actually recruited from other Worlds, and although they typically have the same powers as the others of their species, in their new World they are expected to be doing the jobs of multiple gods.

Long answer: there were eight gods who travelled to Rayne’s World (a Meloetta, Shaymin, Landorus, Tapu Fini, Hoopa, Celebi, Jirachi and a Yveltal), as well as Lilith the Darkrai, the sole known survivor, due to allying with Rayne. Furthermore, there have been three gods born (a Marshadow named Darci, a Jirachi named Goose, and a Hoopa named Currant) and a single demigod born (Sotis, Rayne’s child), making the total number of divine beings thirteen.

The Jirachi, who is called Shallot, is currently sleeping, but their job was to take the light from Luci’s corpse (a Necrozma who assisted Rayne during the mass deicide, and later betrayed her) and redistribute it. However, some of that light was already used up, leading the world to have shorter days and winters of darkness.

Shamin, Landorus, Celebi and later Goose are in charge of making sure enough plants are growing in the world for food, as winters are extremely cold and lack sunlight, easily killing the majority of plants. Additionally, Landorus is in charge of making sure storms do not become too destructive.

Tapu Fini is in charge of making sure the seas do not become too violent, as well as currently holding the objects housing the souls of Treasures of Ruin to prevent them from reincarnating - their seals did not last forever, and they eventually broke free, causing a lot of death and destruction to a world that is already very sensitive to that. The reason why she was chosen to be the holder of them is that none of them can get access to their element underwater, so they are unable to reform their bodies!

The Yveltal, Mara, and her son Sotis, are effectively performing the role of the full Aura Trio by ensuring both life and death stay in balance, rather than just death, as they normally would as Yveltals. It is their job to monitor how many have died, prevent unnatural revivals or gaining of immortality, and in the worst case scenario deliberately revive Pokémon to avoid their World from completely dying out - humanity is already extinct, as well as a few Pokémon species, and the population is very low in general.

The Hoopa, named Allium, and his daughter Currant, are in charge of obtaining any objects someone may need from another World! Furthermore, if you want to leave this World, you will need to talk to Allium and convince them to use their rings.

As an adult, Darci uses his powers to both deliver messages between the gods, as well as explore the world, both surveying the state it is in and bring anything he finds worrying up to the others, and trying to find items that may be useful! She also provides Z-Crystals, as her body naturally forms them!

Lilith, both due to not being fully trusted due to her past (although is she is trusted far more than Rayne, due to her genuinely being kind, and as far as the other gods are aware, never actually killing another god, only helping Rayne and Lilith plan) and causing nightmares as a Darkrai, does not officially have a job. However, she is often the one the other gods elect to talk to Rayne, as they are close friends.

Meloetta basically works as the overseer of both the gods, making sure no one is having any interpersonal issues (which is very common, unfortunately) and that they are both doing their job and not abusing their powers against mortals (something Rayne has made clear that she will not tolerate). Basically she’s their manager!

Overall, they are doing a LOT more work than they typically should be doing - either by covering domains related to theirs, or a much larger territory than they would usually. It is apparent that the gods are stretched thin, as their World is far less habitable than others, but fortunately the remaining Pokémon have adapted to these harsh conditions!

Legendary/Mythical Immortality

Arceus and the Creation Trio are the only ones who are truly immortal in every sense of the word, as they are less living beings and more part of the Universe itself, and need to uphold its order.

However, Mythicals and Legendaries lifespan range from long-lived to immortal to being able to revive themselves! They are all able to be killed, but how difficult a task that is depends on who you are killing, especially if you need them to stay dead.

Generally, Mythicals tend to only be long-lived, and will eventually die by natural causes, whereas Legendaries are immortal and have to be killed by outside means.

You’re correct in that some of them do need a special method to be truly killed though! Victini, due to being the Victory Pokémon, is very hard to kill in direct battle, as that is a situation where there is a winner and a loser. However, indirect confrontation, such as poisoning or natural hazards, would circumvent that issue!

Furthermore, Xerneas and Yveltal have to be killed twice to avoid them simply reviving themselves, by destroying their tree and cocoon respectively.

Most of them, however, only require you to be strong.

Thank you for asking all of these questions by the way! It’s nice to know what may need elaborated on explanation wise, and all of your questions I have genuinely thought about before!

[munch-mumbles]

gary. i NEED to draw betty golb

[societyfolklore]

It’s What I’m Here For

Title: It’s What I’m Here For Pairing: Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Female Reader

Summary:  Deep in the throes of your heat, your body finally gives out- boneless and pliant in your Alpha’s arms. But even in sleep, you still crave him.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings:  / Explicit Content /18+, Minors DNI, Somnophilia, Omegaverse lore, Knotting, breeding kink, Heat, Praise kink, Alpha possessive behaviour, SMUT, Unprotected sex and Fluff.

A/N: my entry for  @avengers-assemble-bingo  for April Kinky Bingo. In same ‘verse as Mine. Always (Set earlier in their relationship before the bond) Square: C1 – Somnophilia Card Number: KB003

You had finally gone quiet.

After days wrapped in heat, soaked in scent and pleasure, your body had given out-limp and warm against his chest, thighs still slick, your cunt fluttering weakly in your sleep. You were wrapped around him like you couldn’t bear to let go. The nest was a mess-blankets tangled, pillows kicked down near the floor, everything steeped in your shared scent. The air was thick with it now, heavy and cloying and perfect. It smelled like the two of you: slick and sweat, Alpha and Omega, satisfaction and hunger all at once.

He should have rested. Should have closed his eyes and followed you down into that deep, hazy oblivion. Maybe even gotten up. The snacks you’d hoarded-protein bars and fruit, energy chews and juice pouches-were all the way across the room, tucked in that little basket by the dresser. He’d meant to grab one earlier, maybe coax something into you between rounds. But right now? Sleep mattered more. You were safe and warm.

Later, he told himself. He’d make you eat something later.

But then your hips twitched.

You’d started to squirm a little, even in your sleep-your skin growing hotter again, that flush creeping back into your cheeks and chest. He could feel the heat beginning to rise again, your cycle not quite done with you. And your body knew where the relief was. The way your hips rocked against him, slick already gathering again, it told him everything. Bucky’s nostrils flared, the scent of your arousal dominating once more. It made his head spin-rich and dizzying-and his cock throbbed, swelling hard again with the need to fill you.

Bucky exhaled slowly, eyes tracing the curve of your spine, the shine between your thighs. You made a soft sound-a whimper, barely audible, then murmured something the pathetic little mumbled word falling from lips. 

“...’lpha...”

He tilted his head, trying to see if you were awake. Your eyes were still shut. A lazy smirk spread across his lips-you were just too damn cute like this.

“Even in your dreams, huh?” he whispered, the edge of a growl in his voice. “Still need me. Even now.”

Carefully, reverently, he wrapped his arms around you, shifting just enough to ease you from your position on top of him. You whined softly in protest, a sleepy little fuss as he moved you. But you didn’t wake, not fully-just squirmed and sighed, clinging loosely as he guided you onto your side. He curled around you from behind, his larger frame fitting perfectly against your back,  His flesh arm  tucked under your neck, while his metal one wrapped tightly across your waist, the cooler surface brushing over your skin. 

Once settled, he let his hand drift down, gently spreading your thighs just enough to slot himself between them. Your scent hit him full-force, cloying and sweet and so fucking good. Slick coated your skin, helping him slide between the plush heat until he was nestled right up against you, the sponge tip of him nudging against your clit.. little moans coming out with your breath. 

“Shhh,” he breathed into your hair, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Just me, sweetheart. Just your Alpha.”

Bucky pulled his hips back and adjusted his angle before he slid into you slowly, carefully. There was no resistance-your body welcomed him like it always did, clenching down even in sleep. If Bucky had thought your skin had felt warm, your cunt was a fire-wet, molten heat that wrapped around him and dragged him deeper. It was heaven. It was home. You gasped in your dreams, hips rolling in response, like your body was guiding him exactly where it needed him most.

“That’s it,” he murmured. “Good girl. You always take me so good. Can’t even stop, can you?”

You let out another soft sound-his name again, maybe, or just a broken sigh. His heart pounded. His grip tightened.

“Just still so fuckin’ sweet for me. So damn needy like this." 

He kept his pace unhurried, languid, like the motion alone was worship. Instead of resting his forehead to your shoulder, he turned slightly, letting his lips trace the curve of your neck-warm, damp breaths skating over your skin as he breathed you in. Each stroke was measured, careful, meant to soothe more than stir.

But you stirred anyway.

A faint gasp. A shift in your breathing. Your hand twitched over the one he had now pressed to your lower belly. He could feel himself inside you; deep and full, every slow drag pressing your walls apart until you were fluttering again around him.

He groaned, soft and low.

“You’re dreaming of me, huh, baby?” He pressed his mouth to the shell of your ear. “Can feel me in your sleep. So wet, so open. You know who you belong to, don’t you? Fuck, m'always so hard for you, omega-can't help it when you're like this.”

You whimpered. The barest whisper of sound-but it shot straight through him.

“...alph-ah...”

Bucky pressed deeper. Stayed buried. Held you like you were something breakable and sacred all at once.

“Mine. Mine. Mine.”

You gave a soft, whining little noise-barely there but unmistakably needy. Your body bent ever so slightly, hips canting, and Bucky felt the faintest cramp ripple through your muscles, that telltale little clutch of need. Even in your sleep, you were still aching for more. His hand shifted up, palm flat over your heart now, feeling its soft thud under your skin as your breathing quickened again.

“Shhh, let me take care of it,” he whispered. “You don’t have to do anything. I’ve got you. Just feel it, baby.”

He kept fucking you slowly, steady and deep. One hand slid up to pull you tighter against him while the other tilted your chin just enough for his nose to brush over the space where your mating mark would go-right where it should be. He nuzzled there, breathing you in, his lips ghosting across the sensitive spot as he dragged his tongue across it, tasting the salt and warmth of your skin. You whimpered again, hips instinctively pressing back into his, like you were begging for that claim even in sleep.

“Not yet,” he murmured, voice rough and full of restraint. “But soon. Soon, baby.”

You let out the sweetest sound-half moan, half breathy sigh-as his pushed deeper inside you. He groaned, gripping tighter as your body pulsed around him, clenching like you had been waiting for this even in your dreams.

But then… your lashes fluttered. Your breath stuttered. A little frown twitched between your brows.

“Shhh,” he murmured instantly, lips brushing your temple. “It’s okay, ‘mega… I got you.”

Your fingers twitched gripping one of the blankets under you. Your hips tried to shift, confused. Too tired to fight the sensation, too fucked out to process it-but your body still knew, wanted to be on all fours.. 

“Shh, no, no. You don’t gotta wake up, sweetheart,” he whispered, voice so soft it was almost reverent. “You’re tired, I know. Let me do it for you.”

His hand stroked over your belly, warm and heavy. The other cradled your jaw, thumb brushing your lips as he nuzzled in closer.

“I’ll fix the ache. I’ll take care of you. Just let go…”

You whimpered softly, head turning toward his voice-but your eyes stayed closed. Your body eased again, instinctively trusting him. Submitting in sleep, in breath, in bond.

Bucky exhaled, sinking fully into the moment as he held you close. He slowed his hips, adjusting the angle until he was fully buried in you, the tip of his cock pressing right up against your cervix with each lazy rock of his hips. Every movement was deep, indulgent, meant to soothe and satisfy rather than provoke.

“God, Doll,” he murmured, “so warm inside... feels like you’re trying to pull me in even deeper.”

One arm held you tighter while the other grazed up your side again. He leaned in, dragging his lips in a slow, heated trail from your shoulder up to your ear before nuzzling behind it. His nose brushed lower, breathing you in greedily before his tongue followed, lapping at your scent-marked skin like he was trying to taste the bond into existence. He moaned at your taste, at the way your body fluttered around him from just that small stimulation.

“Such a good girl, good ‘mega” he whispered against your neck. “That’s it. Just rest. You’re mine. I got you.”

And as your breathing slowed once more, heart steady under his palm, Bucky kept slowly fucking you, hips rocking in deep, steady motions. He couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to. Not when you were so soft and pliant in his arms, not when you leant bonelessly back into him with every push. Your body clenched around him suddenly, tight and fluttering, and his breath hitched-he felt his knot begin to swell, responding instinctively to your need.

“Oh that’s right, ‘mega,” he groaned, mouth brushing over your jaw. “Let’s get you there... feel that ache, huh? Let me help you. Let me make it better.”

“Gonna cum for me?” he whispered, voice thick with heat. “Even like this, boneless and sweet in my arms… you still want it, don’t you?”

You were his world, the other part of him-and when he got like this, when your scent was thick and your heat was high, you were his obsession. There were times Bucky swore he got drunk on your heat, on the way your body begged for him even when you were barely conscious of it. It made him ravenous. Mindless. Utterly devoted.

“T'take my knot even in your sleep? Gonna squeeze me while I breed you? Make a mess on my cock like you always do, yeah?”

The words seemed to stir something deeper in you. More little sighing moans slipped from your lips, hips moving with his in lazy, desperate rhythm. His needy mate-even too tired to do anything but let him do exactly what you needed.

“‘S what I’m here for, omega,” he murmured, kissing along your neck. “I’ll always take care of you.”

And then you tightened around him again-more insistent, more urgent. Bucky gritted his teeth as your body clenched down hard, and he pushed his hips forward, grinding in deep until the thick swell of his knot forced its way inside.

He buried himself to the hilt, tip kissing your cervix, and his mouth latched onto your shoulder as his knot locked in place. The sharp, possessive growl that rumbled out of him was muffled against your skin as he came-hot, endless spurts of seed flooding into you, spilling deep and thick.

You twitched in your sleep, your body reacting instinctively, a faint cry escaping your lips as your cunt fluttered and pulled around him, milking him even as you slept.

He held you tight, one hand flat over your belly, the other curled around your chest as he breathed through it, both of you pulsing, twitching, bound.

“There we go,” he whispered, voice softening as he began to soothe you. “All better now...”

His hands stroked gently over your sides, slow and comforting, as your body settled around him. The aftershocks faded into a quiet hum, your breath evening out. He felt the tension ease from your limbs, the twitching subsiding as you melted back into the safety of his arms.

This time, he let himself go with you. Wrapped up in the warmth of your nest, knotted deep, your scent still clinging to his skin-he finally closed his eyes.

And slept.

[micer2012]

a reflection on MatPat's plagiarism

Hello, my name is Della, or micer2012, and 2 years ago Game Theory plagiarized three Tumblr posts of mine, making a video that now holds almost 6 million views.

My posts explaining his plagiarism made their rounds on Reddit, Tumblr and Twitter, but despite the Hermits and Pooka commenting on it (generally in support of me or saying they don’t know enough details about the situation to say either way), MatPat and his team have never owned up to anything, and no mention of my name is present on the video. The one Reddit post they made denying it (which was made before my detailed takedown, which they have never responded to (though the mods on the r/GameTheorists Reddit were kind and made sure it stayed up)) didn’t even mention me by name, just referring to me as “a tumblr user”. (Though one of the screenshotted comments in the body of the post does say my name)

This experience was baffling, but it’s overall had a positive impact on my life. r/Hermitcraft gave me a Golden Apple Award (post of the year, 2021). My inbox was filled with excited fans, wanting to ask me questions or pose their own theories, far more than the hate I got. (Though the hate I got from Game Theory fans was VERY funny. I wondered why none of them gave me shit about saying “MatPat misgendered Evil Xisuma” before realizing none of them read that far into the post.)

And getting on a more personal, and much more important note, I met most of my current online friends through this, including my partner. It helped me grow closer with my irl friends as well and gave me an entertaining story that I tell whenever I have the chance. It was one of the first things in my life that really made me feel like my talents, my autistic hyperfocusing and analyzing of things I love, could be valuable. Useful. Exploitable. It blew my mind that MatPat thought an autistic kid’s ramblings about a Minecraft Youtube joke character were good enough to steal. To put an audible sponsorship on. To get 6 million views off of.

And that’s why I’m writing this post, this update years later. As you might’ve been able to guess, Hbomberguy’s Youtube video on plagiarism reopened this wound. It was really hard for me to sit through, it took days of pausing and taking breaks, because I had experienced everything he was talking about firsthand. 

In my 10 page long takedown post, I wrote about how his rewording of my sentences made him say things that were incorrect, just like Filip did. The content farm production style that made big companies like Cinemassacre take one creator (AVGN/MatPat) and turn him and his content into a brand, a voice that reads out scripts by other people with other opinions/theories, is a history shared with Game Theory. What really hit me was Harris talking about how big creators only do this to people they think they can get away with doing it to. How they view their victims as lesser, as not deserving of their words, repackaging them as their own to give to an audience that can gain from hearing them, but deserves better than to have to listen to the original victim.

That’s the thing, I 100% think a video version of my theory to expose to a bigger community than “Evil Xisuma Fans on Tumblr” is a great idea!! Near the end of the video Harris talks about how video adaptations of things could be a great market, even an accessibility tool, and I completely feel that about my posts. I wrote them quickly assuming the reader was someone well versed on Evil Xisuma lore, after not even watching most of the CarnEvil series, and the diagrams I made to explain them are even less comprehensible. Harris makes a joke that I completely agree with, 

“I’m sure some of my videos would do very well if someone translated them into English.”

I don’t think I would’ve ever made my posts if I didn’t have autism, and a special fixation on Evil Xisuma and Hermitcraft. I made them because I felt the character was being done an injustice, and because I wanted to share with other superfans this theory that might explain it away. I do think that MatPat plagiarizing me was ableist. I used to wonder a lot if this would’ve happened if my posts were articulated better, if they had been peer reviewed, if the posts themselves had been spread to a wider audience before MatPat made his video. At one point when the discourse was fresh (before I had the time to write out my 10 page rebuttal), a bigger YouTuber (100k subs at the time) messaged me and started talking on Discord, interested in possibly making a video on the discourse, but I think my style of typing and general enthusiasm drove him away. You can tell by a single look at my blog (or my original 3 posts!) that I don’t usually type like this. This post you’re reading now has been peer reviewed and edited, and took me hours to format correctly. That video could’ve been huge, the entire outcome of this MatPat situation would probably be much different.

I also used to stress a lot about “being the one who ruined Evil Xisuma’s story”. If you didn’t know, to me S8 Evil Xisuma’s story got wrapped up pretty quickly and unsatisfying (in my personal autistic opinion). (though this might’ve been due to s8 being experimental and ending early with moon big) There was no real culmination of the plot points and arcs going on, and I don’t want to blame myself, but when Xisuma said on stream (when the MatPat thing was first going on) that he didn’t want to focus on the discourse or draw more attention to it, it makes a lot of sense to me that he just wanted to wrap it all up as quickly as possible. For a while I beat myself up about it, of ruining the story of this character I love, but it’s not my fault. If anyone’s, it’s MatPats, but I don’t think it’s useful to just blame someone else. That’s how the story ended up going, and that’s fine. This is Evil Xisuma we’re talking about, their inconsistent lore is what made them such an interesting character. And notably, Pooka made an animation with an awesome culmination of Jeff, the Dreamer, Evil Xisuma, and his own sona’s story, and it makes me so happy to watch. Whatever Pooka does is of course his own choice, but I’m glad he got to give this personal story his own ending (if it is an ending, and not just the start of a new chapter!). 

Typing this all out and getting it off my chest has made me feel a lot better. For a while I wanted to make my OWN video essay about Evil Xisuma’s lore and CarnEvil’s lore, actually going episode by episode to explain it instead of just assuming you knew as much about Evil Xisuma as I did. That idea is still not off the table, but MCYT isn’t something I’m that into right now. Maybe if something else comes out about Evil Xisuma I’ll get back on it, but for now I’m fine with letting that go. But I want to make other videos, share other theories and analysis… if I have the freetime I’d love to make YouTube videos, and if I don’t have the time I’ll continue posting to my tumblr and infodumping to my friends. Apparently my infodumping is valuable enough “content” to steal! Writing this out has made me feel a lot better though, I’m really glad I got it out.

If anyone ever wants to talk to me about the things I’m obsessed with, or reach out to me as a source in a bigger discussion about Game Theory or other channels, my inbox is more than welcome :] Thank you for reading! 

Sincerely, a tumblr user.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LEVIATHAN I: ECHOES IN A SHALLOW BAY

Series Synopsis: The sea spits you out at Phainon’s feet and tells him to save you. You wonder if he will ever regret that he falls to his knees and obliges.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Phainon x F!Reader, Mydei x F!Reader

Chapter Word Count: 9.9k

Content Warnings: it’s me again writing for amphoreus baddies despite being like an eighth of the way through 3.0 AT THE MOST, fantasy au (amphoreus?? i hardly KNOW us), i make up lore + magic because i can, i world build also because i can, random luocha relevance fsr, amnesia trope, love triangle (we are not getting both at the same damn time i fear), violence and blood and whatnot most likely, screwy timeline bullshit, screwy spatial bullshit (this makes no sense but it will), an ending i personally would not consider angsty but some might, don’t ask me who’s endgame i oscillate sm it’ll probably just be left vague, wherever you think this is going it definitely isn't, slapping that ooc warning on here because who even am i without her (it's really bad this time though SLDKHF sorry)…

A/N: guys i thought i knew fear posting part one of threefold but no THIS is fear LMAOAOA i'm subjecting you all to my slop T_T...i don't love this by any means in fact i on the whole despise it but whatever sometimes you just gotta post anyways #enjoy farmer phainon 😭 I WILL LOCK IN FOR LATER PARTS I PROMISE

Sand slipped between your fingers as you scrabbled for purchase, dragging yourself out of the vicious currents which clawed at your legs, wailing and trying to pull you back to where your certain death awaited. Your side screamed in protest, and with a low groan, you pressed one hand to the weeping wound in an attempt to silence it, your stomach roiling from the sticky sensation of blood gathering at the site of the frayed, greening flesh.

With only one arm left free, you continued to pull yourself up the shore, but you made it a scant few paces before your trembling wrist gave out entirely, leaving you to collapse, your cheek pressed to the rough, crumbling bits of shell that littered the coast. The tide licked at your ankles victoriously, and you were dimly aware of tears gathering in the corners of your eyes as they fluttered shut and the great song of your doom filled your ears, echoing somewhere deep in your bones like an army’s march.

Each pump of your heart was fainter than the last until your pulse all but crawled to a stop, and although the roar of the beast was in a foreign and guttural tongue, you understood what it was saying anyways: end. Your end was here, and there would be no one to witness this demise, no one to cradle your body and decorate it with anemones so that you were suitably beautiful for your journey to the underworld. 

“Hey!” 

You wanted to tell the man that he should leave you to die, that there was no need for him to run when there was nothing he could do to change this outcome, but his voice was so sweet and dear that you could not stop the burst of inspiration which compelled you to push yourself up and watch him as he sprinted barefoot across the beach towards you, his alarm palpable even from such a distance.

“Who are you?” he said as he knelt by your side, shielding you from the sun and the sea alike. The clamor surrounding you quieted when met with the heaviness of his vast, boundless irises, and as the rest of the world darkened into nothing, everything you had ever known dissipating as readily as mist in the morning, you focused only on the skies contained in his worried gaze.

“How beautiful you are,” you said, and then you were coughing and he was gasping and you were saying words that you were sure did not belong to you but to someone else, someone many years older and some measures wiser. “Forgive me…I have kept you waiting for so long…”

“No, no, please don’t die, please don’t — who are you? What happened to you?” he said insistently, taking your face in his large, warm hands. Your eyelids drooped as he shook you, and you did not feel as frightened anymore, your dread fleeing in the consolation of his panicked embrace.

The last thing you felt was the weight of his palms upon your heart and the heat of his mouth against your own as he begged you to come back, to answer his many questions and stay with him in the realm of the living. Perhaps you might’ve, but you succumbed to the bleakness of finality and were met with a blissful emptiness not too dissimilar to sleep before you could attempt to; then, it was all you could do to lie there and think to yourself how wonderful it would be if you spent the rest of your existence exactly like this, freed from trials and tribulations and terrors alike…

You awoke with a sharp inhale, half-expecting to be met with the biting sting of sand on your skin — yet to your surprise, you were in a bed, feather-stuffed pillows propped behind your neck and a pale blue quilt tucked neatly around your shoulders. Furrowing your brow, you stared at the white ceiling for a moment, and then you sat up, casting aside the pillows and quilt in a flurry of activity, swinging your legs over the mattress and planting your feet on the wooden floor.

Only a second later, your knees buckled and you found yourself in a heap on the woven rug, the flowery patterns dyed into the wool mocking you with their cheery brightness. You lay there for a while, finding no merit in attempting anything but motionlessness, and then slowly you extended your arm, tracing the bleeding edges of the red petals that were now at your eye level.

Dimly you grew aware of a thudding that was becoming progressively louder, and the thought crossed your mind that you should perhaps be worried, but whoever was approaching had not hurt you while you had slept, so you felt that it was fair for you to ignore it. Anyways, what would you do even if they did mean you harm? There was no sense in caring, so you remained sprawled on your side, stroking along the carpet and wishing the stems of the flowers might manifest into reality so that you could braid them together into thin, spidery plaits.

The door banged open, and you gave the entrant the grace of lifting your chin, as much out of your own curiosity as in polite acknowledgement. He did not notice you at first, his shoulders tense as he scanned the room, and when he realized the bed was empty, something like a scowl formed on his kind, lovely face — though it was not anger but despair that drove it, or at least that was how it seemed to your untrained eye.

“Oh, you’re awake!” he said, his eyes widening and a slight smile replacing his frown when he finally noticed you peering up at him. “Though, why are you on the floor? Never mind, I suppose it doesn’t really matter now that you’re there. You really are proving to be a lot more troublesome to take care of than a lamb, you know that?"

In a swift movement, he hooked one hand under your knees and cradled your neck in the bend of his other elbow, lifting you with a surprising ease and then depositing you back on the bed. It might have been impressive to some, but now that he had drawn the comparison, all you could think of was that he did not view you with anything more than the dutiful responsibility of a hound to its flock.

“I was just about to come and change your wound’s dressings, so it’s good timing, anyways,” he said, reaching for your waist before pausing, an odd, delicate pink shade blooming at the tips of his ears. “Ah, I’m sorry. You were asleep, so I never asked permission…”

“Whatever for?” you said. Your voice came out scratchy and burnt, remnants of something acrid sticking to the back of your throat, and you coughed to clear it, prompting another frown from him. Shaking his head, he sighed and tugged at the hem of your shirt, which hung off of you so awkwardly  that it must’ve been his and not yours at all.

“I have to lift it a bit,” he said. “Not — not immodestly or anything, I swear! I had the neighbor’s daughter come to bathe you and change you out of that torn dress you washed up in, but your wound is so deep that it requires attention more frequently than I can justify calling her for, and I have some experience, you know, with the puppies and the foals and whatnot, so I’ve just been doing it myself…”

“Is that what you’re fretting over?” you said in amazement. “Why, I should not complain. You may think of me as a lamb or a puppy or a foal, if it eases your mind, but all you have done has been in the effort of saving me, I am sure, so whether you consider me a woman or a beast, I do not think there is any need for guilt regardless."

“If you’re sure,” he said, the shirt bunching around your ribcage when he pushed it up and leaned closer to the covered wound, the tip of his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he peeled away the white gauze from your skin, bit by excruciating bit.

“So — so you must be fond of animals, then?” you said, biting back a hiss as the cool air dug into where tendrils of infection laced along your exposed, gouged-away skin. “No, do not apologize; please tell me of them, so that I may be duly distracted.”

“Yes, there’s not much else to be fond of around here,” he said. “Here being Aedes Elysiae, if you didn’t know; we are terribly isolated from anything of note, and the sheep outnumber the people by far, so what choice do I have? It’s a dull, sleepy place, this village, but no one ever leaves it, perhaps because there is a certain charm to a home and a livelihood so secluded from the mess and bustle of the capital.”

As he spoke, he patted down the packing in your wound, wiping away the excess blood spilling over the sides with a tenderness that belied the clinical nature of the task. Of course it still ached, but you were quite sure that if it were anyone but him, it would’ve been ten times worse, so in thanks you stayed as still as possible and allowed him to work without complaint.

“My name is Phainon,” he continued. “I’m only a shepherd, to be honest with you, so all of this is a bit strange to me — I’m not really the kind of person that this sort of thing happens to, if you understand what I’m saying. I was just chasing after a stray ewe that day, but then my dog got to barking and led me straight to you.”

“I don’t remember a dog,” you said. “Though I don’t remember much of anything, so I suppose that’s a bit meaningless. ”

“He didn’t want to go near the sea. It’s odd, because he’s normally so fond of swimming, but that day all he could do was whine and paw at the sand like he was waiting for me to do something,” Phainon said, winding a pristine roll of bandages around your torso methodically, with the mindlessness typical of accustomization to an everyday task. “You really don’t remember anything?”

“No,” you said. “When I try to think of my past, I come up with nothing. Nothing, that is, but you.”

He pursed his lips, and then his fingers brushed over your navel, tying the strips of dressing together in a cross. You didn’t know if it was intentional or an unconscious, fidgeting habit; you thought it must’ve been the latter, given that he did not dissolve into a fit of apologies for daring to touch you, but then again you did not know him well enough to say for certain. Either way, it was so quick that you did not mind and would not have mentioned it even if you did; then he was adjusting your shirt and stepping away, clasping his hands together like he was gathering his thoughts.

“It hasn’t healed any,” he said. “I was hoping that when you woke up you would be able to tell me where you’re from, or at least what happened for you to end up in such a manner. I might be able to treat you better if that’s the case, but as it is, I’m at a bit of a loss.”

“My apologies,” you said, bowing your head. “I owe you my very life, and yet the only repayment I can afford you is further distress.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, it’s not a big deal. I wasn’t thinking of repayment when I found you. I wasn’t thinking much at all, really, just that you were there and you were dead, or soon would be, and I couldn’t accept it.”

“You couldn’t accept it,” you repeated. “Why, because you’re the one who found me? Do you feel some measure of duty to me for it?”

“It’s not just that,” he said. “I don’t know. I can hardly explain it to myself, let alone someone else…but I thought I would have to stay and breathe for you until the tide grew low and the crabs came to mock me, and strangely enough, I would’ve done it. If that was what was necessary, I would’ve.”

You narrowed your eyes, scrutinizing the man who had played as your heart and your lungs until such a time that you could do so on your own. He was a striking figure, albeit unassuming at first glance, his taste in ornament and dress detracting somewhat from the imposing nature of his presence. Taller and broader than any shepherd had the right to be, his eyes were shimmering and clever, his hair carelessly mussed and pale as the moon, the silvery strands framing his appealing face in such a fine way that you almost could not believe he was real, that he was not some empyrean figment of your imagination.

“I see,” you said finally. “Whatever your reasoning might be, I’m indebted to you.”

“Oh, um…anyways, now that you’re awake, I guess the only thing to do is to take you to the village proper, where we can see an actual healer,” he said, wrinkling his nose, clearly unused to praise being lavished upon him, especially such a great, generous amount. “I was too frightened to jostle you about so much while you were unconscious, but I don’t know that we have much of a choice anymore. I’ve been treating your wound as one would treat an abscessed hoof, but this may be a few orders of magnitude more serious.”

Unbidden, your knuckles pressed into your aching ribs, and with a wince, you chuckled. Phainon’s face fell, his eyebrows drawing together and the corners of his lips curving downwards, and this for some reason prompted a sinking sort of disappointment in you.

“It may be,” you said. “But I am sure that with proper medicine, it will heal and be as if it never happened.”

Both of you knew you were being unnecessarily and unrealistically optimistic, but he did not say anything to correct you, only nodding, perhaps needing the reassurance as much or more than you did. After all, wouldn’t it be worse to know that despite everything he had done, you had still died? Wouldn’t it hurt more now that he had brought you into his home than it would’ve if he had simply left you on that beach, rotting amongst the stinking seaweed?

With the help of your grip on Phainon’s proffered forearm, you managed to stumble down the stairs to his kitchen, though it was an exhausting endeavor, and you would’ve fallen several times over if it weren’t for him. You knew from the set of his mouth that he didn’t approve of your attempts at independence, but he was not the sort to argue, nor the type to gloat when you settled in a chair at his small table with a sigh.

“I don’t have much,” he said as he opened and closed the doors of his cabinets, pulling out various preserves in glass jars, weighing them in his hands before putting half back. “It won’t be anywhere near as nice as you’re used to, I’ll bet.”

“I’m not ‘used to’ anything,” you reminded him, craning your neck so you could watch him as he crouched, muttering something about needing to go to the market again soon.

“Ah,” he said, turning and blinking at you nigh-owlishly, his lashes surprisingly dark as he batted them at you. “Right. Sorry, it’s just that you’re so proper and beautiful and — I mean, not beautiful! Wait. Yes, you are beautiful, but that’s not why — I just — ugh, my mother always told me I was well-practiced at shoving my foot in my mouth, but until now I didn’t understand what she meant by that. Here, I hope this is acceptable.”

He slid a plate of something or another over to you, and then he turned on his heel and busied himself with tidying the already-spotless counters. You admired him as he wiped over the grainy wood, in the meanwhile cutting your food into pieces with the fork and knife he had given you, taking the smallest bite and then humming in approval.

“It is more than acceptable,” you said. “However, need I remind you I’m in no position to complain either way? I would eat even if you only gave me pig slop.”

“I wouldn’t do that!” he said, dropping his rag and brandishing his index finger at you. “Do you really think — you’re joking.”

“Yes,” you said, laughing despite how it hurt, thinking that there might be some remedy to be found in this version of pain. “I am only joking.”

“I can’t quite understand you,” he said. “You speak like one of those Helikan tax collectors, but you have the sensibilities of any ordinary girl.”

“Is ‘Helikan tax collector’ the worst insult you can fathom? I am duly offended, though you really ought to improve your creativity for the future,” you said.

“You’re joking again,” he said flatly, and you could not even deny it, your continued laughter betraying you. “I’m not trying to insult you, I’m simply telling the truth. It’s an honor if anything; being associated with Helike is high praise here.”

“Why is that?” you said. He handed you a mug filled to the brim with a warm drink that had a sweet, unfamiliar aroma wafting off of it, and then he sat across from you with his chin in his hands.

“It’s the capital of the region,” he said. “The most powerful city on the coast. Aedes Elysiae and the other villages like us are technically part of the Helikan state, though for the most part they leave us to our own devices, as long as we pay our taxes and don’t cause too much trouble.”

“Do they lend you protection in exchange?” you said.

“They’re supposed to,” he said. “But the city itself is much too far, and we are of much too little consequence for them to care, especially since that Lord of Swines took over and let the countryside fall to chaos.”

“What sort of a place is this, to be ruled with such a loose fist, and by a man called the Lord of Swines, no less?” you said incredulously. “Have I found myself in some strange fiction? I can’t quite believe it.”

“He’s not actually called the Lord of Swines,” Phainon said, clicking his tongue impatiently. “And officially, he’s not the ruler of anything but his temple. Helikan politics are a bit of a complex situation, but you shouldn’t pay any mind to them. Focus on getting well and remembering where your actual home is. I’m sure there are people who are missing you.”

“Right,” you said. “If I have a mother and father, they must be worried…or siblings, if I am so privileged as to have a brother or sister or both, then maybe they are searching for me…and friends, surely I have friends, right? Do you believe they think of me in my absence?”

“Of course they do,” he said. “They will be overjoyed when you return, I’m sure of it.”

“It is such a difficult and delicate thing, to mourn a life and love I do not know,” you said, chewing contemplatively in the ensuing silence, continuing only after you had swallowed. “I am sad for what I have lost, but I am more sad for those who have lost me. My suffering is only bodily and can be treated, or at least alleviated, but what recourse do they have?”

It was a rhetorical question, and thus he did not try to answer it, but you could tell by the softening of his eyes that he pitied you. Perhaps you should’ve found it condescending or infuriating, but it was only heartening to think that he understood, that he, too, shared your sorrow, or at least held sympathy for it; so, reaching out, you wrapped your fingers around his wrist and held his hand against your eyes, smothering your tears before they could come.

Outside of Phainon’s small home stretched endless fields of grass, green and gold in turn, sheep dotting the landscape like small, fleecy clouds. A tan hound lounged by the dirt path, a pink tongue lolling out of his black muzzle, and when he noticed you had come out, he beat his tail against the ground, sending up plumes of dust into the air. You smiled as you passed him, remembering that Phainon had mentioned it had been his dog who had led him to you and wondering if this was the very one who had done it.

“He’s been moping about ever since I brought you home,” Phainon said, as if he could read your mind. The dog got up with a deep exhale, trotting along behind you with his tail still wagging, though he broke off eventually to chase after a pair of wayward rams. “You may think it fanciful, but I do believe he was worried.”

“How helpless it is, to be a dog in a world meant for people,” you said. You meant it as a rumination, an earnest contemplation on the nature of these things, but Phainon only snorted, tightening his grip around your shoulders as you rounded the corner of a stone barn and came up to a white-fenced pasture where a pair of horses grazed.

“You’re funny,” he said. “Maybe you used to be a court jester.”

“I don’t think so,” you said, furrowing your brow. You had no frame of reference for it, but the very title felt uncomfortable and wrong, settling on your shoulders like a mismatched cloak. He glanced at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling before he took a halter over the taller horse’s head and led it out of the field behind him.

“Yes, probably not,” he said. “I’ve not met any jesters, but from what Natasha has told me of them, you wouldn’t fit the role.”

“Who’s Natasha?” you said, sitting on a bale of hay and observing him as he bustled about, readying the horse for the trip to the town center.

“She’s the best healer in all of Aedes Elysiae,” he said. “Actually, she’s from the capital, but something happened in her family a few years ago, so she moved out here and has remained in the village ever since. It’s a lucky thing, really — she knows how to treat maladies most of us have never even heard of, and I’m sure she’s saved more lives than I count just because of it.”

“You’re taking me to see her, then,” you said. He nodded.

“If there’s anyone here who can figure out what’s going on with your wound, it’s her,” he said. “Like I told you, I would’ve taken you to her earlier — I should’ve, I know I should’ve — but —”

“You mustn’t upset yourself like this,” you interrupted before he could continue. “You have done the best you could. I do not blame you, so do not blame yourself; how could you have known that it would turn out to be such an abnormal case? Anyways, you may have done the right thing after all. I am still alive, and who knows if that would’ve been the case had you been hasty? Enough with your worrying, for I cannot continue to reassure you in this way. You must be certain that you were correct and understand that even if you weren’t, you cannot undo what has already been done. The only thing left for both of us is to continue onwards with the situation as it is.”

He gawked at you for a moment, like he had not been expecting you to say that, and even you were taken aback, for you, too, were surprised by the gravitas in your voice, the stern, cold nature of it. An awkward silence descended upon you both with a swiftness, and it was only broken when his horse huffed, pawing at the ground in an impatient reminder that he was still tied and half-tacked.

Phainon cleared his throat and busied himself with the buckles of the saddle, clearly embarrassed. “Right, I’ll do that.”

“I am sorry,” you said.

“Don’t be,” he said. “You spoke correctly. There’s nothing that can be changed now. All we can do is go to Natasha and hope it was enough.”

The ride to the village center was not terribly long, or at least you did not think it was, for you spent most of it with your cheek between the bony blades of his shoulders, drifting in and out of sleep, although you had just awoken a few hours earlier. It must’ve been a symptom of the decay festering in your ribcage, for the weariness felt unnatural, forced, a fog over your mind that combined with the lack of your memories to lull you into a blank motionlessness, your failing body weighed down as if by stones shoved in your pockets.

To call Aedes Elysiae a village was generous; it was a cluster of homes wound through with a few cobblestone streets, a small square lined with shops the closest to a center that they had. Wood-painted signs declared each merchant’s wares, but Phainon led you past all of them, ignoring the staring townspeople who whispered as you walked by and halting before a grey-walled house with flowers blooming in the windowsills.

“Here we are,” he said, helping you off of the horse and tying it to a wooden post. You reached out and took one of the blossoms between your fingers while he did so, stroking the velvety petals with a slight frown, though you could not say why they brought such distress, why your stomach dropped as soon as you saw the steadfast blooms. “Are you okay?”

“Hm?” you said, startling at the sudden address, the flower falling from your hand and drifting to the ground, where it was promptly crushed under the horse’s hoof. “Yes, yes, I’m alright. I was just surprised.”

“By the flowers?” he said, far more discerning than you would’ve expected from someone who had been kind to the point of near-naivete up until this point. When you nodded hesitantly, he frowned. “I don’t know what kind they are. They don’t grow around here; I think she brought them with her from Helike or something.”

“Anemones,” you said, the name materializing like the ghost of a person you once knew but had long ago lost. “I…they mean something, I think, but I can’t say what. Of course.”

“Do you think that once your injury is cured, you’ll be able to remember everything again?” he said, knocking on the blue door, cocking his head slightly while he waited for a response.

“I would like to believe so,” you said. “But it feels overly hopeful, so I will refrain for now. It’s better not to have expectations at all, right?”

“Maybe,” he said. “But isn’t it also important to have faith? I mean, what else even is there to be had?”

Before you could muster a response, the door swung open, revealing a slender, willowy woman with an oval face and dark hair tied at the nape of her neck, loose tendrils falling in her eyes and white ribbon trailing down her back. When she noticed you and Phainon standing there, she frowned slightly, but it was concerned, not disdainful, and nearly maternal in quality, although she could not have been more than a few years older than either of you. 

“Phainon? Who’s this? Is everything alright?” she said, and the calm, steady cadence of her voice was enough to set your heart, which inexplicably had begun to race, at ease. Here was a woman who understood things, who might understand you, despite the sorry fact that you could not yet understand yourself. She ushered you in without even waiting for Phainon to explain, taking over the support of your limp weight as easily and naturally as breathing — which, to a healer, such a task really was so ingrained, you supposed.

“I found her on the beach,” he said, and although she did not require any assistance, he hovered at your side with the worried air of a mothering hen, like he could not bear to relinquish the care of you entirely. “She washed up in a wad of seaweed, bleeding all over the sand from this horrible wound in her side. For a while I was sure she would die in my arms, but then miraculously she began coughing and breathing on her own, without my help, although she did not wake up for some time, and the condition of her wound never improved. Ah, that’s actually why we came to see you, Natasha, if you don’t mind looking…”

“Of course I don’t mind,” she chided him, as if he had been a fool to ask her in the first place. “Just wait outside. I’ll bring her to you when I’m done.”

“Okay,” he said, but it was drawn out and long, like he was hoping by the end of the word she would change her mind. His reluctance was obvious, and with every step he took away from you, your heart squeezed a little tighter, which meant that he was not alone in the feeling — but who were you to argue? She was the one who knew best, and so you had no choice but to follow her directives.

Natasha waited until the door was well and fully closed before she turned to you, clearing her throat and folding her hands in her lap. You had been expecting her to immediately take to inspecting the site of your injury, so you were surprised by the reaction, and even more so by her subsequent scowl.

“Was he telling the truth?” she said.

“Huh?” you said. She nodded towards the window, where, presumably, Phainon stood in anxious wait, unable to do anything of merit but unable to leave, either.

“Phainon,” she said. “Did he really find you under such…altruistic circumstances? I don’t want to believe it of him, he’s always been so good, so wonderful, but neither do I wish to presume. So, I ask you again: is he telling the truth?”

“I don’t understand,” you said. “Are you suggesting that he could be the one who hurt me?”

“In a sense,” she said, the air suddenly growing fraught and thick with tension. “Or, perhaps, that in your current condition, he might have—”

“No!” you said, and it burst out so vehemently that your hand clapped over your mouth immediately afterwards. What cause did you have to defend him so staunchly? You did not know him, not well and not at all, and what Natasha was saying was not baseless. It would not have been difficult for Phainon, not with how you were at present…but you could not fathom it, you rejected it, you knew it wasn’t the case. He wouldn’t have, he could not, you were so sure, and your certainty was frightening, it was frightening and confounding and should not have existed in the first place, least of all in such a great quantity, but it was there nonetheless.

“You’re quite convinced?” she said, and you nodded, because, although you could not remember much, you did recall the day he had found you, for it was in a sense a second birth, the rest of your life a dark blur up until the moment you had opened your eyes to him. Him and the deep punctures in your side, which were blackened around the edges and wept red onto his turmeric-stained tunic; him and the kelp tangling around your throat, which crumbled away as soon as his palm lit upon the firm bone of your chest; him and the brine at the corners of your mouth, which dribbled down your chin as he pinched your nose shut and pressed his lips to yours, breathing life back into a sodden, weary heart that had no choice but to accept the offering.

“I am. He saved my life. I — well, to be fully honest with you, I have found myself without much if anything in the way of memories, but there are some things that exist in the back of my mind in the way some words exist on the tip of one’s tongue, just out of reach but maddeningly close, and this is exactly such a thing. I can’t explain how or why, but I can tell you unflinchingly and calmly that I would be dead if it weren’t for him. Perhaps many times over; perhaps in ways that he himself cannot know; perhaps in a manner that the explanation for does not yet make sense. But I would be dead without him, I assure you. He has saved my life, and I won’t — I won’t hear anything to the contrary!” you said.

“Alright,” she said. “Please do not misunderstand; I am relieved to hear it. I did not want to think of him as anything less than what I do now.”

“And what may that be?” you said, removing your shirt at her indication and raising your arms so that she could begin to undo Phainon’s attempts at bandaging.

“A boy who is meant for more than shepherding cattle,” she said, and the answer was simple, practical, yet the kind that spoke volumes for its abstractness. “Oh, dear girl, what happened to you?”

“He said it hasn’t improved any. He’s been treating it as best as he can, but he did not want to take me into the village until I was awake — you mustn’t tell him he was wrong, even if he was, I think it will crush him — although it is clearly more serious than anything he has ever seen,” you said.

“I’ll say,” she muttered, and then, to your surprise, she only rebandaged the wound exactly how it had been, not even addressing the site with anything more than a sad look. “Put your shirt back on. I’m afraid the prognosis isn’t good, and I think it’d be best if I tell both you and Phainon at once, to save you from having to repeat it. If I know him, I know he’ll take it worse than anyone, perhaps even worse than you yourself, and I wish to spare you this singular torment, for it is within my power to do so.”

Phainon swept in as soon as Natasha opened the door, and he did not even greet her, returning to stand before you, taking your hands between his and searching your expression like he could tell everything he needed to know just from the reflection of it in your irises.

“You should sit,” Natasha said to him.

“I’ll stay standing,” he said. The with her remained hanging in the air, unsaid but known by you all, and to it she could only exhale heavily, like she had expected as much but had wished most fervently for a different response.

“I can’t do anything for her,” she said. “As far as I can tell, the depth of the wound isn’t the main issue, although it’s definitely aggravating it; it’s that it’s poisoned, and that this poison is spreading, which is killing her slowly. But if it really is a poison, then it’s one unlike anything I've ever seen, and I don’t want to use medicine on it for fear of accidentally causing a reaction that’ll exacerbate her suffering further. The kindest thing we can do at this point is give her a comfortable place to live until she finally succumbs.”

“What?” he said. You supposed you should’ve felt equally as indignant as him, but you had been half-expecting from the moment you had awoken that your fate would be something like this, so the only reaction you had was the fleeting thought that even this much was a blessing. At least now you could die somewhere peacefully, happily, buried amongst flowers in those green-gold fields that Phainon and his dog watched over, defended with the same zeal that they defended their flock, instead of left to be pecked at by carrion-birds on the unforgiving shore of the stony beach. “How am I supposed to just accept that? How am I supposed to just — just — just watch her die, like she’s some ailing cow bound for slaughter? She’s a person, not livestock, doesn’t she deserve more than that?”

“There is one other option,” Natasha said, silencing Phainon’s tirade as quickly as it had begun. 

“Why didn’t you start with that?” he said in exasperation. “Well? What is it?”

“You won’t like it, and it’s not a guarantee. The answer may not be any different, and you’ll have put both of yourselves through undue stress for nothing if that’s the case,” she warned. He rolled his eyes, and although he had dropped your hands about halfway through his rant, clearly overcome, he now brought his right to rest protectively on your shoulder, like he could tether you to the world, to him, with just that one point of contact.

“I don’t care about whether I’ll like it or not. Just get on with it,” he said.

“Take her to the capital,” she said. “Bring her to my former master, Luocha, who is perhaps the most learned medic in the world. Surely he will be able to better diagnose her malady.”

“You don’t mean Helike, do you?” he said.

“I can’t recommend it,” Natasha said. “The journey will be riddled with difficulties. The road is not safe on the best of days, and as for that wound…no mere accident could’ve caused it. Do you know what that means? Someone or something is, or at some point was, trying to kill her. You may be safe for now, if they believe they were successful, but what do you think will happen when they realize she lives? They will surely hunt her down, and no matter how talented of a swordsman you are, Phainon — and you are, I acknowledge that much — you can’t defend both yourself and a woman on the brink of death from a being that is hellbent on her end.”

“It’s her choice,” he said finally. “No one else’s.”

“Yes,” Natasha said, and then she turned to you. “It is. How about it, then? Knowing everything, what do you say?”

“Phainon,” you said instead of answering her immediately. “Will you stay with me?”

It was suddenly imperative that he answered that. For the first time but not the last, you wondered if you had met him before, to trust him so intrinsically, to need him so instinctually. What other explanation was there? Logically you knew it was not so, or else he would have recognized you, but you could not help it, could not help that nagging sense of familiarity, could not help that whining desire to be nearer and nearer to him.

“Until the very last,” he said, so solemn, so grave. “All of the way until Helike, if that’s what you ask.”

“Then I will go,” you said. “Even if it is not guaranteed, I want to live a little longer. Even if it is more painful, I don’t want to accept my death without first trying as hard as I can to fight it.”

Natasha clearly did not approve, but she did not seem particularly shocked, either, her lips pressing into a thin line as she nodded slowly, sadly, before standing and telling you she would return in a few moments if you did not mind waiting, please. So you and Phainon stayed in that empty room, and for a while neither of you spoke, lost in your own musings, until finally you gathered the strength to ask him the question that was newly weighing on your mind.

“Did I know you before?” you said.

“What?” he said, blinking rapidly, like he was waking up from some long dream, shaking his head and giving you a polite, confused smile. “No, I’m quite sure you didn’t. I’d remember you if we had ever met.”

“How can it be? You say I am a stranger, but who does this much for a stranger? And if I truly did not know you, then why…” you trailed off, because in face of the befuddled furrow of his brow, you did not dare complete your thought: why is it that I feel so much for you? Why is it that I have, in the span of hours, found myself so enthralled? If you are a stranger, then does that make me a fool? I cannot be so weak. I cannot be so hapless. My body has failed me and my mind has failed me, my heart cannot as well. It cannot, and so you cannot.

“I can’t answer that,” he said, and he sounded so contrite you regretted even bringing it up in the first place. “Of course, I wish I knew you. I wish you weren’t a stranger, so that I could fill in the gaps of your memories, so that I could tell you about the entire life you had led up until the point you lost it. I would remember each detail, you know, and I wouldn’t withhold even the most mundane of them — I’d tell you about every single breakfast you ever ate with me, which jams were your favorite and which you turned your nose up at, the flowers you loved and those which distressed you, whether you preferred to play with the sheep or the ponies or the dogs — you would find me tiresome and boring to listen to, I think! But anyways, you are not the type of person who would be found doing such unimportant, silly things, so it’s irrelevant. Can you really believe yourself to be from Aedes Elysiae? We both know you aren’t, which means that you really must be a stranger to me, who has never left this place.”

“If only I were,” you said. “Girls from Aedes Elysiae are not poisoned and hunted and drowned very often, are they?”

“No,” he said. “They have their own problems, but those are not amongst the most common. Whoever did this to you, they are a special kind of monster, the sort that most people are lucky enough to never encounter in their lives. We only have to worry about wolves and ordinary bandits in these mountains.”

“Natasha didn’t seem to think so,” you said.

“Well, the road to Helike is dangerous,” he acquiesced. “And the city itself is a separate entity altogether. Who knows if we’ll even manage an audience with Luocha? He is a busy man, and not the generous sort, who might hear our urgency and make an exception. She’s right to be against us going.”

“But you think it’s a good idea,” you said. “You didn’t say as much, but I could sense it.”

“I hope I didn’t sway your decision,” he said. “You’re right, though. I do think it’s worth it. If we stay here, then your death is assured, and I will always regret that I did not do the best I could to prevent it.”

“Yes, that’s what I was thinking,” you said. “Don’t worry. I arrived at the conclusion of my own volition; if I am to die, I do not want to just lay down and accept it. It would drive me mad to spend my days with that anticipation, especially knowing that there was something I could be doing in the meantime. I could not manage such an arduous journey alone, but if I can have you with me, then I will go to Helike and demand that this Luocha sees me.”

“I already told you I would go,” he said. “I’ll deliver you to the capital, and until we can find out who you truly are, I will remain by your side and fulfill the role of every person it occurs to you to miss.”

“What if he cannot do anything for me?” you said, giving voice to that which had been quivering between you, massless and amorphous until you forcibly acknowledged it, affording it credence and shape. “Then you will have to lay me to rest in Helike. I will be an unnamed body amongst the many others who die everyday in such a large place, another unmarked grave amongst a sea of the like. It sounds so sad and lonely, I don’t — I don’t think I want that—”

“You can’t think such things. Focus on getting better,” he said.

“But I must consider every outcome carefully. There’s a chance that this entire matter will end in such a way, after all, and not a small one, either,” you said. “Can you do me a favor? Please, if it comes to it, ask them to burn me, and then take what’s left to the most beautiful place you can imagine. I know that’s a lot to ask of you, given that we have only met so recently, but I have no one else…” 

“I meant when I said I will be everything to you,” he said. “If that’s what you really want, then it’ll be done — but it won’t come to it in the first place. You will live, I promise. Those in the capital will know how to fix you.”

After that, he placed his hand on the top of your head, which was more than you needed but less than you wanted, and there you stayed, yourself on the bed and Phainon standing between you and the rest of the room, until Natasha returned with a few more sets of bandages and a bundle of clothes and a letter for Luocha, as well as a final warning to be careful before she sent you on your way.

Instead of returning directly home, you went to Phainon’s neighbor’s house, for if he were to accompany you to Helike, there were affairs that required settling. The animals he tended would still require feeding and watering and looking after, and he told you in a fond, level voice that there was no one he could entrust with the task better than the neighbor’s daughter, who was some years younger than you but possessed, in his words, the sort of determination that lent her far more reliability than mere experience might.

She was a vivacious girl, answering on the first knock and beaming when she saw you, the crescent moon of her grin splitting her freckled face nearly in two. Shoving aside Phainon, she threw her arms around you, and although you were taken aback by the affection, you were also warmed by it, by what she must have intended only as politeness but which came across to you as an offer of sincere friendship.

“You’re awake!” she said by way of greeting, and in the back of your mind, you vaguely recalled Phainon telling you he had called upon her to strip and bathe you of the filth of the beach. Maybe you might’ve squirmed, but she was the sort of person that was so guileless it seemed impossible to be uncomfortable around her, for she really was as wide-eyed and harmless as the lamb toddling around her feet. “You look much better now.”

“Do I?” you said dubiously. “I’m told I don’t.”

“This one,” she said, her voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper as she motioned towards Phainon. “Would you believe he’s the hero of the village? He’s such a bumbling clown when you meet him that it’s easy to forget.”

“Don’t fill her head with silly stories,” Phainon said, but his cheeks were pink, and it was obvious he was trying very hard not to boast about what he may have done to attain the designation of hero. “Where is your father? I need to ask him for a favor.”

“I think he’s out collecting eggs with my mother,” she said. He stared at her expectantly, but she only jut her chin out and stared back with her hands on her hips, her foot tapping impatiently against the tiled floor.

“Can you go fetch him?” he said finally, slowly, like he was talking to an impertinent little child.

“You know where he is, and you always tell me you’ll do it when you come, so go on, then! What’s different this time?” she said, and you coughed to disguise your snicker at the glitter of her eyes darting between the two of you. Phainon frowned, opening his mouth to argue before clamping it shut and mumbling something under his breath, ducking past you both, ostensibly in search of her father. As soon as the door swung shut behind him, she sobered, her grin dropping as quickly as it had come. “You know, you’re lucky he’s the one who found you.”

“Hm?” you said. 

“Like I said, he plays the part of the bumbling clown all too well, but that couldn’t be further from the truth of who he really is,” she said. “Phainon’s different from the rest of us. It’s as plain as day; my parents talk about it sometimes, I’ve heard them, so it’s not just me saying that, mind you! Just a few years ago, when I still went to the village for my lessons, there was an attack by a group of bandits. They were intent on holding Aedes Elysiae hostage until delegates from Helike could arrive, after which they planned to use our lives as the bargaining chip for what I can only assume would have been large sums of money.”

“How frightening,” you said, and you meant it entirely. “It’s abhorrent to think that they would attack such a defenseless place."

“It was frightening,” she agreed. “I was walking home already, as my teacher had suddenly grown ill and dismissed me early that day, so I escaped their notice, hiding in the trees as they corralled the townspeople in the square. When I judged them to be well and fully distracted, I began to run, and I did not stop running until I was banging on the door to Phainon’s home.

“He answered almost immediately, and he did not joke as he usually does. He knew as soon as he looked at me that something horrible was happening — I’m not particularly good at hiding my emotions, and he has a talent for reading even the best-concealed expressions — and he went with me to the village, and then—”

“And then?” you prompted when she suddenly fell silent.

“And then I told her to stop embarrassing me with these exaggerated accounts of events,” Phainon said. You turned to see him with a wiry man who resembled the girl most greatly, a cross look on his face, which was so at odds with the geniality you had come to expect that it seemed all but comical. “Please don’t take her too seriously. It’s true that there was a bandit attack that I helped fend off, but it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Now, son, don’t be too humble,” the man, his neighbor, said, giving you an affable nod in greeting. “My daughter isn’t exaggerating that much. Phainon here really did take the guardsman’s sword and slay all the bandits that held weapons in their grips, sparing those who had nothing and bidding them to spread the word that Aedes Elysiae was not to be touched. He is undoubtedly our savior, so it only makes sense that he’s the one who found you — who else would?”

“He’ll protect you well,” his daughter added, her voice a lark’s chirp as she hefted her lamb in her arms, holding it before her like a peace offering, which was promptly denied by a playful scowl on Phainon’s part. “You won’t have to worry about a thing if he’s with you! Like I said, you’re lucky to have him.”

“He tells me you have business in Helike,” Phainon’s neighbor said, and although it was not a secret, necessarily, you found you were still grateful that Phainon had not told him what that business entailed. 

“Yes, that’s correct. He has graciously offered to accompany me,” you said. It was a credit to everyone in the room that they did not laugh at the notion of Phainon’s presence being a gift you could have denied. One did not need to look at you more than twice to know you were helpless in the wake of this poison, this half-death, but all three of them allowed you to keep your pride and did not point that out, Phainon’s neighbor even grunting in assent.

“Why, he’s always been the type. If there’s problems, he’ll be the first to try and solve them. I’m not surprised in the slightest,” he said. “But there’ll be trouble if you try to go like this.”

“Trouble?” you said. “Whatever do you speak of? What’s wrong with how I am now?”

“It’s not you, actually,” he said. “The clothes Natasha lent you are Helikan in origin; even if hers do not fit you well, she sent some from her mother that will surely work, so you should have no issue blending in. I’m more worried for Phainon…”

“Me?” Phainon said. “I see no problems with what I’m wearing. This is how I always dress.”

“Right,” his neighbor said, which brought Phainon to turn to you as if for reassurance. You cringed, for you could not come up with anything positive to say about the yellow tunic nor the pants, which were an inexplicable and blinding shade of violet that would not even suit a king in full regalia. In fact, the combination was all but offensive to the eye, the sin of it multiplying by how the swathes of fabric marred his comeliness, the muddy ochre tinting his skin sallow, the looseness of the drape folding over and concealing every line and angle of his body from view. 

“Perhaps it is better suited for guarding sheep than visiting the city,” you suggested, attempting to soften the blow as best as you could. “He is right. From what you have told me of the Helikans, should they see us as peasants, then I am doubly sure they will not grant us an audience. If you do not speak, and wear handsomer clothes, then you will easily be believed as someone of import, and although you are not an authority on the matter, you did mistake me for a Helikan earlier, so I think that I can also manage. But where shall we find that sort of attire, such that you are convincing enough to pass through without question?”

“I would have kept silent in the first place if I did not have something,” his neighbor said. “My brother once tried to pass the exam to be one of the guards of the Temple of Cygnus, you see, and he made it far enough to receive a uniform, though he fell in love with a singer before he could actually take the role. He left it here with me, along with the rest of his belongings, before running off to become a traveling musician.”

“The guise of a Temple guard! You think my current dress will draw attention, and that won’t?” Phainon said. 

“Well, they have a certain reputation,” his neighbor said. “Even the most fearsome of bandits would not dare incur the wrath of the Temple. It will grant you a safer passage…and anyways, if I am correct in my estimations, then the Temple is your end goal, is it not? It will serve you well there, too.”

“Fine,” he said reluctantly, though only after casting a sidelong glance at you, his lips pursing when he did. “You may be wrong, but if you are right, and if this uniform brings us before Luocha even a moment sooner, then how can I say no?”

Based on how averse Phainon had been to it, you had expected the garb of the Temple guards to be something practical but near to hideous, perhaps even fearsome, grotesque and twisted and hiding his shining visage from the world. Yet when he returned to you, self-consciously adjusting his white shoulder plates, you found you could not have been more wrong, for he was beautiful, so beautiful, awkward and shy though he was, the pearly threads of the long coat and the gold of the fastenings suiting him so well it was as if he had been born to wear them.

“You’re crying!” he said, and it might’ve been humorous, how he all but wilted, if he weren’t also right. “Do I really look that bad?”

For you hadn’t noticed until he had said it, but you really were weeping, and upon the realization, you could only bury your face in your hands in the effort of abating your senseless lamenting, wishing that your eyes would not sting so horribly and your throat would lose its humiliating swelling. 

“I knew this wasn’t a good idea,” he said when you did not say anything. “I’ll go and change now, don’t worry—”

You shook your head, wiping at your face as quickly as you could, blotting away your tears despite how they came back twice as strong with every press of your palms against them. You knew he was confused, he must have been, for you were, too, and you hated that most of all, hated that your own actions were a mystery to yourself. But there it was regardless, your heart, your traitorous, jealous heart, which kept the remnants of your many secrets locked away from the rest of you, singing and singing as you clenched your fists to prevent yourself from reaching for him.

“Don’t change,” you said. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what overcame me. You just looked so familiar for a moment that I could not help it, but — but no, you don’t look bad, not at all.”

“You are a picture!” his neighbor said, clapping his hands together. “Truly, you suit it much better than my sorry old brother ever did. This must have been what Luocha envisioned when he designed them; I don’t think there’s been a guard more striking than you since the Temple of Cygnus was founded!”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Phainon said, nudging his neighbor away as the man tried to reach up and ruffle his hair. “You’re certain it won’t be too much of a burden for you to watch over my home while I’m gone?”

“After all of the help you’ve given us, I would never dream of calling you a burden. Take your time and worry only about your pretty girl here,” his neighbor said, nodding his chin towards you. “We will pray for her health and your safe return the entire time you’re gone.”

“Thank you,” you said, ignoring Phainon as he began to sputter indignantly at what was unmistakably only said to provoke that exact reaction from him. “I appreciate it, and I am eternally grateful for everything that you have done for me. For the rest of my life, however short or long it may be, I will remember you all, who saw a stranger by the sea and found it in your hearts to save her.”

taglist (comment/send an ask to be added): @itseightamineedsleep

[moeitsu]

Explaining the James Logan Howlett (Wolverine) Lore for the new fans :)

I made this as a little cheat sheet for all the new Logan/Wolverine fans, in case you’ve never seen the movies or read the comics. Hopefully it’ll help with your fanfics and understanding his character better <3

Logan is my favorite of the Marvel superhero’s, and he and I go way back….so far back that my Dad dressed up as Wolverine and I as Rogue for Halloween in 2006. So he holds a very special place in my heart.

Lore - Part 2  Wolverine Comics

If you’ve seen X-men Origins: Wolverine, I hate to break it to you, but that backstory is not canon to the X-men universe. The later movies really screwed up the timeline. So the information here is strictly from the comics.

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Pre-Adamantium Binding:

His real name is James Howlett, ‘Logan’ is later used as an alias to distance himself from his past.

He was born sometime around 1880, in Alberta Canada.

He is the illegitimate son of Elizabeth Howlett and Thomas Logan. He grew up on the Howlett estate and believed John Howlett was his real father.

His mutant powers first appeared when he was a child. He has accelerated healing, heightened senses, and retractable bone claws.

The trigger was caused by Thomas Logan killing James Howlett. The overwhelming fear and anger made his power manifest, blinded with rage he kills Thomas.

As his biological father dies, he reveals to Logan that he is his true father. The event is deeply traumatizing, and Logan runs away from his family estate. His mother commits suicide shortly after.

Logan has a half brother known as Sabertooth (Victor Creed) who has similar powers to the Wolverine but is more ‘animalistic’

The details vary across the comics but the brothers are always seen as rivals. And often pitted against eachother.

Logan served in WWI, WWII, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War.

He also served in a Canadian military force known as ‘Department H’ that specialized in superhuman affairs. (This was after the experiment, I’ll go into more detail later)

Sometime before the Weapon X program: On Earth-616, Logan had a wife (Itsu) and son in Japan where he was training at the time. They were killed by the Winter Soldier (Bucky Barnes)

Weapon X Program - Adamantium Binding:

The Weapon X program was run by multiple people working in secret for the Canadian government. Originally beginning in 1845, their goal was to experiment on mutants and create their own super-soldiers.

Logan was deceived and manipulated into undergoing the Weapon X experiment. He did not consent to being a test subject.

For some reason the X-Men Origins movie makes it out to be that Logan willingly chose to undergo this process, only to later reveal that he was tricked into doing so.

Before being captured, he was still struggling with his identity, he was close to 100 years old at the time. His life was filled with violence and loss. Making him physically and mentally vulnerable.

He was a prime target for exploitation.

Part of the experiment was to completely erase his memories and replace them with false ones. This allowed them complete control over him.

This also made it difficult for him to recall how he ended up in the program to begin with.

I repeat: they completely wiped his memory. His whole identity was gone.

100 years of memories were gone.

The bonding process turned his entire skeleton and bone claws into indestructible metal.

Due to his regenerative nature, Logan was not given anesthetic or put under for the procedure. It was excruciatingly painful.

Logan worked as a mercenary for private military contractors. He took on these assignments without fully understanding their implications because of his fragmented memory.

Sometime later he became a member of X-Force, a private military unit (affiliated with the CIA) that dealt with incredibly violent operations.

The purpose of the project was to create an unstoppable killing machine. With their end goal being to erase his humanity all together. However Logan’s mental fortitude allowed him to resist the conditioning and make his escape before it was too late.

After escaping, Logan developed a mistrust with authority. And just people in general. He felt deeply betrayed by the Weapon X program. And he struggles with the fear of being used as a weapon.

The escape and aftermath of Weapon X:

After everything Logan went through, the intense trauma and confusion significantly impacted his actions and mindset.

He was left with extreme psychological damage, and behaved more as an animal than a man for the first few years of his freedom. Living in the wilderness of Canada.

Quite literally a feral man. He lost touch of his humanity. Embracing his animalistic abilities, turning him into an apex predator.

Logan has the ability to enter something called “Beserker Rage” which he becomes entirely driven by animalistic instinct. Turning him into an unstoppable force and exerting himself for very long periods of time.

Think of when you see him running on all fours…

Over time, Logan began to regain bits and pieces of his humanity. He was later discovered by Heather and James MacDonald Hudson who took him in and helped him recover physically and mentally.

(Logan actually fell in love with Heather, and James became his best friend. They were the closest thing he had to a family)

After he recovered, he was recruited by the Canadian governments ‘Department H’. They were responsible for a lot of his training and became a key member in Canada’s superhero team: Alpha Flight.

This is where he took on the code name “Wolverine”

His time with Alpha Flight was short lived. And soon he was approached by Charles Xavier, who was looking for mutants to join his X-Men. He recognized Logan’s potential and offered him a place on the team as well as the promise to help him regain his memory.

Logan accepted, and his time with the X-Men marked a critical and significant moment in his life. Under Xavier’s guidance he was able to rebuild his identity and gradually piece together his past. All while fighting for the rights of mutants.

Being part of the X-Men gave him a sense of purpose and direction. Although his main goal had always been to uncover what he had lost, which was himself. He still struggles with trust and relationships, but eventually forms strong bonds with the other X-men.

His past with Weapon X still haunts him. And he has vivid and terrible nightmares about what he had done and what was done to him.

I won’t go into detail about his time with the X-men because that varies a lot across the comics. Just know that he had a love-hate relationship with them, but he ultimately loved them in the end.

Some sad facts about Logan that actually haunt me:

Logan has outlived everyone he ever loved. Family, friends, even his own children. He is so so so lonely.

Immense amount of survivors guilt. He feels unworthy of the life he continues to live.

He suffers from chronic nightmares. Often waking up in a violent and panicked state.

Deep-seated fear of abandonment that goes all the way back to his early childhood. He isolates himself to protect himself from more pain.

Tons of self-loathing. He believes himself to be nothing more than a killer. He thinks he is unworthy of love and happiness.

In the “Old Man Logan” storyline, he is tricked into killing the entire X-Men team. This event haunts him for the rest of his life.

Logan had a long, unrequited love for Jean Gray. He has watched her die multiple times, and each time a piece of him dies with her. On one occasion, he even had to kill her himself.

When he succumbs to “beserker rage” he loses control of himself. And the aftermath horrifies him. He is even afraid of himself at times and one of the reasons why he distances himself from others.

Some happy/soft facts to make up for everything you just read:

Logan is incredibly fatherly at times, often taking younger mutants under his protection and guidance. He becomes a mentor to them and looks out for their well-being.

In one of the comics he takes a young girl (Jubilee) to the mall and followers her around carrying her bags. He loves doting on her and I find it so adorable.

He also teaches another mutant named Kitty how to dance.

In one mission he is tasked with taking care of an infant, Hope. And he is incredibly gentle and tender with her. Cradling her in his arms and being fiercely protective.

He has a deep love and connection with animals. Especially ones that have been mistreated or misunderstood.

Caring for an injured wolf, he nurses it back to health and releases it back into nature.

He also adopts a stray, abused dog at one point.

In one of the timelines, he funded and ran the ‘Jean Gray School for Higher Learning’ He was the headmaster, and was dedicated to protecting and teaching young mutants.

In one scene he literally makes pancakes for all the students. I love him so much.

His relationship with Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner) is very brotherly. They share alot of respect and understanding for each other, and Nightcrawler often serves as Logan’s moral compass.

His happiest memories are when he was training in Japan. And he has a deep appreciation and admiration for the culture. Taking on the samurai code of honor, and respecting its discipline and humility.

His entire relationship with Laura Kinney (X-23). Essentially his daughter. Taking on a father-figure role for her.

In one of the comics he organizes a birthday party for her, knowing she never had one. He goes all out and it shows just how much he loves her.

Logan has a great sense of humor. Often dry and sardonic, he’s known for his quick wit and playful banter. Which adds a layer of warmth to his otherwise tough persona.

He is very fond of life’s simple pleasures. Which reflects his inner desire for peace and normalcy. He values the little things that make life enjoyable.

His numerous acts of kindness towards strangers. Logan is compassionate at heart.

He doesn’t comfort others with his words, but rather his presence. Logan has a very unique understanding of grief and tries to give others relief in knowing they aren’t alone.

WOW okay I wrote way too much. Tbh I actually cut a ton out of this but if anybody wants a part 2 I’d be happy to share more. Shoutout to my brother for helping me source all this with his comics lol.

If you read all this, you’re a real one. And I’m so glad we’re all witnessing the Logan Howlett Renaissance