#lucanis is spiralling

[grad-writes]

SIX for gold (II)

Lucanis Dellamorte/Rook | M | Pining/Obsession/Lovesickness

Crows are always drawn to shiny things, and Lucanis Dellamorte is no exception.

---

Illario knew, Lucanis thought as he watched him over the rim of his cup. His dark coffee shimmered gold in the romantic lantern-light of Café Pietra. Illario definitely knew.  

They had crossed paths in Treviso, and Illario leapt at the chance to invite them to coffee. He was curious and suspicious, and perhaps just a bit jealous of this slip of a girl who had caught his cousin's eye. "Let me meet her," he cajoled, "This golden bird that entices you so. Let me see if she is worthy of you."

His cousin’s sharp eyes missed nothing even as he entertained his Rook; charming and witty and crooning in ways that usually had his targets flush with desire. He called her ‘bella’ with affection, and praised her beauty and her quick tongue, in all the ways Lucanis had not. “You must forgive my cousin,” Illario added slyly, “He is all stomach, and no heart.” 

Lucanis could not even refute it, for he hungered and hungered.

But Rook smiled at Illario in the same way she had smiled at Marcus Valisti all those months ago, full of genuine joy and goodness and golden light—and it was far too blinding for poor creatures like Illario and himself, who were born and raised in the darkness. 

Lucanis watched as his cousin simultaneously flinched under the sun-bright glow of his Rook, and unconsciously leaned towards her like a flower desperate for light. When Illario’s blue eyes met his from across the table, they were full of wonder, and understanding, and pity. “My poor cousin,” they said, "You are fucked."

He was sure that in that one glance, Illario must have known the twisting pit of desire that roiled in his belly, the way he yearned pathetically for something so far beyond his reach. He had warned him once before. But it was too late.

Gold has always been the root of many a man’s downfall, and Lucanis knew he was doomed. 

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[thimblings]

get with the Crow-gram, Davrin

[brainwyrmz]

so my first veilguard playthrough i picked coffee as Rook's favorite drink because 1) i do like coffee and 2) i'm an agreeable bitch, but picking tea or hot chocolate is soooo much better and for two completely different reasons like— TEA: lucanis ACTIVELY is like "EUUGHH" when you choose this which is SO funny. like we BARELY know each other and he's basically like: "alright you ill-bred tasteless freak, i'll get you some boring ass herb water."

and THEN this makes his unique gift of an antivan tea set all the more amusing because instead of it just, not making sense, its like "HERE'S A FANCY ANTIVAN TEA SET BITCH" and he's like "for me?" and we're like "YEAH it's for you. EDUCATE YOURSELF. 😎🍵"

and then its so SO much sweeter when he actually makes you a whole dinner and dessert based around a drink that he probably spent the whole game researching???? my heart.......my sweet acts-of-service-ass boyfriend.......i love him

HOT CHOCOLATE: first off i love rook as a hot choccie ass bitch. but also its so sweet when he's like "oh yeah, I really liked that as a kid actually" and then later in a banter with emmrich when you learn that lucanis basically learned to cook solely because he really fucking loved churros and wanted to learn how to make them????? UHGHhhhhh......my heaort........and then he makes them for us, probably the first silly little recipe he ever mastered..........ouuuuuugghhh...........

send help i'm experiencing emotions about a beverages and a fake man

[mohntilyet]

i need to become his defence lawyer his pr manager etc etc illario dellamorte you should have had a cunty celebration outfit for the talon announcement dinner !!!!!!!

[marcell-arts]

little animal crossing emoticons for my crows

[rookanisstuff]

If veilguard didn’t happen AU where Rook Mercar is sent by Dorian to help evacuate slaves the Demon of Vyrantium keeps freeing via assassinating their masters

[miriani-lavellan]

Nothing against the Spite fuckers and I truly and sincerely mean that

But Spite understanding space as a result of inner demons (or at least understanding when to leave as a result of whatever Neve brings to the table that we never see) and understanding when to give Lucanis privacy is my favourite take for a man who couldn't bring himself to kiss Rook at least partly because THERE'S A DEMON WATCHING

He's a man who thinks that he'll never have his own life again, that he'll never have privacy and full bodily autonomy ever again. Ever. That despite being crazy about Rook (or Neve) he has to deal with the fact there's an unwanted third passenger that he has no choice but to let into the most intimate and private moments of his life

And if you don't do inner demons, he still doesn't feel safe around Neve. So. There's that, too. The implication is that they have fun and enjoy themselves - in that instance she certainly helps him feel normal again, I think, but he never feels truly safe :(

Spite learning when to make himself scarce and give Lucanis the chance to have the intimate for himself and his partner alone is my favourite way to take it tbh

[corvus-frugilegus]

Lucanis × Non-Binary Rook - A quick exploration of first kisses but for real this time, no bailing. Also my first crack at getting his voice / internal monologue down

Their finger at last bridges the gap between his hand and their own. Finger gently sliding atop finger, tentative at first, waiting for a sign that it's intrusion is welcome.

He feels his smile tugging wider and wider at the corners of his mouth. The soft warm light of the dining hall fire rakes across Rook's face, sparkling in the soft smile that touches their eyes. Here it is. A second invitation. One Lucanis isn't quite sure he deserves. A possibility he had been doing his best to push away. Far far away from any hope that Rook might still want him the way he wants them.

But things changed in Minrathous. He'd changed. Or at least he'd started to. Started to allow himself the discomfort of being known and the unexpected comfort that came with it. Started to hope, perhaps against his better judgement, that even after seeing it all that Rook could forgive him for... Well for everything. Forgive him for ruining whatever had been growing between them.

Of course Rook would insist that there wasn't much to forgive. With a single smile they'd break apart the gathering storm of his worries.

But he didn't know how to... What to... If he could open that door again even an inch.

Lucanis spreads his fingers beneath theirs, gently weaving them through Rook's.

Start small. If it worked for Spite why wouldn't it work for Rook? Coffee and Nevarran torte. A quiet gesture, one they could easily turn away if he'd been wrong to hope. to try.

Rook had drifted so close over the course of dinner. Their companions had drifted away so easily. The pad of Rook's thumb gently moves in small circles atop his own, warm and comforting. To his surprise, Lucanis feels calm in this moment- like he has nothing holding him back, not any more, not after they've seen his worst thoughts.

The scent of a kiss good bye lingers between them. Dark, complex, and intriguing.

"How'd you put it?" Rook's eyes break from his momentarily, dipping down to his lips, their smile curling into a grin. "Honey and lavender cream?".

Lucanis leans toward them, faces getting closer to bridging the very same gap their fingers just closed. The low rumble of his voice fills the narrowing space between them "Mmm... Sweet and intriguing."

Rook tilts their head, nose brushing nose as the distance between their lips grows ever smaller "One way to know for sure...". He can feel the heat of their breath against his mouth. He knows they're waiting for him to be the one to close the gap.

To open the door he himself has been holding shut for weeks. The door he's at last allowing himself to open.

Their lips are soft against his. The kiss is gentle and slow, each touch lingering and deliberate. Lucanis's free hand finds it's way to the back of their head, fingers combing through the soft hair at the nape of their neck gently tugging them closer.

Rook presses their lips more firmly against his, parting in invitation. One Lucanis accepts without hesitation. Tongue softly greets tongue as each gets their first taste of the other. Only then does the weeks of tension between them at last over flow. The kiss deepens, where it was once gentle and sweet it is now desperate and hungry. Rook pulls themself further into him, chair scraping against the floor, knees knocking against knees as they reach for him, hand planted firmly on his shoulder.

When at last they part neither dares venture far. Forehead to forehead, panting, and all smiles.

"You know, I think I need another one. Just to be sure." Lucanis laughs.

[deiiamorte]

⊱ Mirghilanan "Miris" de Riva ⊰

[rsenak]

writing is such a funny hobby. like why am i doing this to myself

[ssenza]

hey bioware what do you mean abominate. why was that ability called abominate. what do you mean by that.

[merry-kuroo]

Assuming the rooms are created magically based on the companion's desires....

What if Rook's love and the Veilguard's friendship makes Lucanis love and appreciate himself and his room changes and he gets out of the pantry????

[mohntilyet]

my initial knee jerk reaction to lucanis/spite saying "family, enemies, contracts" was bad because it felt like an oversimplification but actually thinking on it i really love that lucanis forces himself into this box to make things make sense in his life. family is unconditional, enemies are to be killed, but contracts is so. interesting... man who promises mila that he will find her father because he does not fail contracts. the same man who tells effe that he will kill her slaver because he needs to turn her from a poor young woman that he sympathises with, into someone he can make a deal with. it's not kindness, it's not weakness, he's just fulfilling a contract, and crows don't break contracts. if he kills a bunch of racist blood mages during that process, then he's not breaking the rules, just bending them. a very convenient excuse to be a good man while still being a crow and assassin. and of course when spite is forced into him, he gets out of it with something familiar! by making another deal! something he could work with, something he HAS to work with, because being just an abomination is unthinkable. if he can work himself out of this problem like he's done with every other contract in his life, in his mind maybe there's some tiny chance that this becomes another job that he can claw his life back from.

[cravingpeachrings]

Somebody give me a sharpie that F*CKING WORKS *I yell at 2 am as I slowly descend into AO3 madness*

[rookanis-de-riva]

do you think he even realized he had been Betrayed at first?

even when Rook is rescuing him, he still insists he originally had a contract on Calivan, as if that's why he was here. and he has to complete the contract--he can still work!

so how long did he try to convince himself that no, this is still according to plan, no one sold him out, and if--hypothetically--a certain someone who would be the only one to know the details of his contract DID tell the Venatori which ship to target, then clearly that is just. part of the contract itself.

he's in the Ossuary now, where Calivan is, so that was ... helpful. he was helping. maybe Illario really thought he was helping. he didn't expect the ship to go down. he didn't know the details of the Ossuary. he didn't know what Zara was doing or the blood vault or the demons--

really, if you think about it, this is Lucanis's fault. if he had been good enough to break out immediately, to kill Calivan right away, Zara would have never gotten her claws into him

HE was complacent. HE was overconfident. HE slipped up. this is all HIS fault because it cannot possibly be Illario's fault scheme betrayal

illario wouldn't do that he didn't know he would leAVE HIM HERE

Thinking about how confident Lucanis must’ve been at first that he was going to get out of the Ossuary when he first got there……………..

[antivancathedral]

(continues to be insane) I can’t get over the fact that Spite asks for help.

Spite is often treated childishly by several characters—Taash, for example, and even Lucanis depending on your dialogue choices—but I actually…don’t think Spite is all that childish. He’s been put into a situation he’s never experienced before, in a place where reality doesn’t work like it should, and been put through torture that he feels doubly through Lucanis on top of it all. Any person would through a “tantrum” under these circumstances. Spite’s behavior is reasonable.

He never tries to hurt Lucanis’s companions, not once. He only ever tries to leave, as Lucanis promised him he would be able to. Even Lucanis, he only hurts once outside of the Ossuary, when he must have felt unbelievably confused. Calivan is dead and Lucanis has gone home, has allies, and yet to Spite, he simply refuses to leave the Ossuary. And still, he asks. He could wrestle control from Lucanis, but instead he asks (or demands) to talk to Rook. And all he wants to say is that he wants to be free.

All and all, Lucanis does not reach out to anyone to ask for help with his depression or PSTD. Spite is his problem, he says, and says often. His burden. He never intended to let anyone in, even though he admits that he doesn’t know how to start healing. He asks for Rook’s help against Zara, against Illario, but no one is privy to his mental and emotional struggles.

Spite, on the other hand, asks immediately. Or he wants to ask. And finally, when Lucanis is in the middle of a spiral, it's Spite that says "Help us." Not demanding, just asking. Pleading. And still only to Rook. While I think at first, Spite wants Rook specifically because he knows Lucanis will listen, I think that has grown into something more by the time Inner Demons comes around.

"Help us," he says. Not just 'make him listen' or 'help Lucanis'. Us.

This is all to say I think that while Spite may not understand or feel romance (yet) he most certainly feels love. He loves Lucanis, whose image he takes ("They wouldn't dare, Lucanis is mine.") and he loves Rook ("Rook is my favorite." "Smells like...Rook." "Help us." The WINGS.) And that's all trust is, isn't it? A kind of love? Showing vulnerability to someone close to you?

When Spite is finally allowed to communicate, he shows plenty of maturity. He gives Lucanis space, he asks Emmrich to teach him fire, he's willing to try new things, and he loves.

Determination is a kind of love too, when you think about it.