#lumacchio

[venigni]

Ok now that I turned off the game for the night I can explain why this was so funny. Because this was a very obvious empty boss room with thin walls at the end of it that you just know if you've played Lies of P that is prime for some huge ugly carcass monster to bust through and start attacking you with a giant roar.

But this time it was just a little gay snail.

And it fucking killed me.

[vampyrrw]

Lumacchio if you ask him anything

[thighsofp]

So when I read Pinocchio there was a snail who was a friend of the blue fairy and for some reason every time she was mentioned I thought about the snail having huge boobs

[insomnianoctem]

Whenever I struggle on a boss in LoP and I know what I'm doing wrong but not changing it I make myself wearing the little lad outfit (or whatever its called) as punishment until I win

Get emoted, idiot

[persephonaae]

I’m going to start a campaign to try to get more people to play Lies of P by telling them that Neil Newborn is in the DLC

[kaz-ura06]

Drawing my first Overture character. Lumacchio the leader of the Bastards.

“Human beings can only keep secrets when they’re buried with them”

[wintrsss]

: ̗̀➛ Lies of P Overture Spoilers || w/ photos

Despite being unable to actually change the course of people's lives in the end, I still like to see the little tidbits of the story that were affected by our actions.

Like yeah, we weren't able to save the people dear to us like Romeo or Lea, but it is at least a bit rewarding to know it wasn't all in vain. 🥲

These are just some I managed to get, if there are more, someone please let me know!! I like to collect all the little secrets in this game hehe

[rrayaton]

Lumacchio x reader headcanons

Because this man has me in a chokehold

Note: this is before and after the events in overture AND NSFW is included, seriously if you're under 18 then LEAVE! Thank you

He will make it known to EVERYONE that you're his partner. In a possessive way but also in a "look, this is MY partner"

He comes from money and he is the leader of the bastards so he has connections to get you anything you want

You could mention you want something just once and it's now on your front door step, also even if you don't mention anything and just "shop with your eyes" then you'll see it in your house the next day

He loves dressing you up (more to match his style) you've become his new Barbie doll (or ken) to dress up

He will book you appointments to any salon

He kisses the back of your hand

He will always hold your hand when walking up stairs and open the doors for you, he's such a a gentleman

He makes sure you aren't hurt at all. (Like how he asked if P was okay)

He always has a bouquet of flowers waiting for you

I can't see him being the biggest cuddler when people are around, but as soon as it's just the two of you. He's ALL over you. Wanting you right next to him

So he isn't the biggest hugger in public, BUT he loves holding your hand or having an arm wrapped around you. This is again to show that you're his

If he has to leave you, he'll grab your chin and kiss you slowly

He will do anything he can to protect you from any danger.

He would prefer if you weren't a stalker. It's quite a dangerous job and he doesn't want you to get hurt (or die)

Nicknames for you would be: love, darling, beautiful/handsome, and sweetheart

OMG he'd sit in a chair and just want you to sit on his lap, possibly cuddling him too AHHHH

Dinner reservations every Friday (or most Fridays) at the finest restaurants in all of Krat

Takes you to random shows, like Adelina's performances, and you're definitely sitting up in those balcony seats

He just loves spoiling the heck out of you, you're getting anything you want and need, people will know to respect you and he'll make sure you get treated with respect from everyone.

He might believe that some people aren't "worthy" to speak to you. If they're lower class or something then he doesn't see why you'd want to talk to.. them.

He won't stop you talking to them but he might judge.

He doesn't want you near ANY sweepers, especially their leader, Veronique.

Now I know he's the bodyguard for Simon Manus, so he won't always be around you.

I can see him not wanting you anywhere near the alchemists. Even though he trusts them, he knows what they're capable of (or thinks he does anyways) and he doesn't want you involved with that. Nor does he want the alchemists making you their new "test subject"

He writes letters to you, always sprayed with the expensive colognes and perfumes he uses. He expects you to write letters to him with your perfumes/colognes too.

It'd be very easy to make fun of his name, (I mean snail pants, like.. come on) so if you ever made fun of it then he'd be very upset with you

Would get very sassy with you. You have playful banters at times, he's quite witty so you might be the punchline a lot

Ballroom dancing with you is a must. He'll grab you by the hand just to dance, he'll teach you how to dance if you don't know and won't make fun of you if you're clumsy on your feet. He believes anyone can dance if they put the time and practice in

loves hugging you from behind, will start swaying with you from side to side

‼️NSFW‼️ (might be for fem readers only sorry)

He loves to start off all romantic

With a wine, candlelight dinner, romantic music

Undressing you slowly while softly kissing you, making your way to the bed..

He is very romantic 🥴

Missionary

He would buy you sexy lingerie

So he wouldn't want to rip it off you, he cares too much for the fabric... But then again he can just buy you a new one. But the fabric..

I don't know if this makes sense but he's like behind you and just kisses your neck and holds you from behind. But not like.. okay you know what I mean? 😭

Now idk if toys were a thing back then or if they even used them, but if they were then he'd definitely use them on you

He is quite the teaser. To the point where you turn into a flustered mess

Aftercare is amazing, he runs a bath or shower for the both of you and massages your sore spots.

He loves cuddling with you after and will kiss you

Every time I write NSFW I always have to giggle to myself like am I seriously writing this? I mean I am and no one is forcing me to.

I think I was too tired to come up with better headcanons for him, but I also wanted to share my thoughts I had on him. I hope you enjoy :)

[akiraak4]

Crows and Puppets 6

Masterlist SPOILERS FOR THE DLC CW: dead animals, beheading

As he awoke, it was cold. He felt the crushing of something under his fingertips as he straightened up, it turned liquid under his touch pretty quick, and he realised it was snow after another moment. He hadn’t seen snow before, nor did he think he would see snow, after all, Krat did not seem like it would freeze at such short notice. 

He follows the snow covered path, uncertain where it would lead him, picking up a flyer for the Krat Zoo. A Zoo? He hadn’t heard about a Zoo in Krat before. As he moved along, he sliced monkeys or chimpanzees transmuted into ghoulish carcasses with frightening ease. He barely recognised them from a few depictions they showed him during their rummaging through abandoned bookshelves. 

“Wha- Krat Zoo? But that place burned down a long time ago?”,Gemini chirped up, confused as well. “And it’s winter… this is strange, pal, as if we’re not where we were supposed to be…”, his guide questioned further as P walked on, into the Zoo, a giraffe, half skinned and eaten laid splayed upon the entrance statue of a lion, blood spilling all over. It was vile, disgusting, and he did not like this view, this gruesome display, so he quickly walked past. 

Through the Hall of Adventures, where Markiona, the Puppeteer of Death, threatens him to leave her territory. Though he did not listen to it, he was too curious to turn back now, and so he walked on, through the different, snow-covered areas of the Zoo, the jungle, the savanna and the greenhouse. He bested a mutated elephant, whose head turned into an obscure concoction of different animals he could not quite make out, as well as a humongous alligator. The Tyrannical Predator was no real fight, his sword cutting its belly open without any resistance, leaving it to stain the white snow blue with its changed blood. 

Inside the Greenhouse he heard the echoing of Swords clashing. His steps get quicker as the sounds intensify and as he clashes in the door to a large, round room with his legion arm witnessing a complete slaughter that made him freeze. 

Markiona, a lady with blue skin, red eyes and golden hair tried her best to fend off an attacker, her puppet, blue strings flickering unsure, plucked apart piece by piece, its wings, arms and legs missing, tossed around the arena. 

Said attacker wore a crows mask, the beak shining silver in the light as black feathers sprawled out as they jumped up, their blade shining in the light. 

The sharp edge twirled through the air whistling, tearing it apart with macabre simplicity. They cut down the woman with such trained and practiced ease it made a cold shiver run down his spine as he stood there frozen. Their sword left the air vibrating as they flicked off blood while the Puppeteer of Death fell, her head sliced clean from her body, her chest carved open with ease. They turned around shortly, noticing the boy but jumping up with such power that he could not even start to catch up as they vanished. 

The sword they were wielding, he noticed, was the same as the one in his hands and he realised he could not replicate such moves. He could not jump nearly as high as them, except with the Puppet String Legion Arm, but he would not pull off this combination of flowing strikes in the air. What he could do however, was recreate this scene on the ground.

He tried his best, moving the blade in swift motions as he felt it cut the air with ease. It was not nearly as perfect as what they had done, but it was a start. 

“Wait… was that them? What are they doing here? How could they have connections to all this… Pal, we really have to find someone alive to talk to. But this looks like a dead end.”; Gemini chirps rather confused and P nods slightly, looking around, but figuring out quite quickly that this was a dead end. “Hey, pal, look,Markiona has a key on her, this should bring us further along”,  the cricket chirps up once more, guiding his direction. He realised he was rather lost without them. They normally were the ones guiding the way, suggesting where to go next, looking with him through each nook and cranny, talking to people and beating enemies. Though the latter was rather easy thanks to their sword as well. But it was lonely. He was grateful that Gemini stepped up like that. He grabbed the key from the corpse and swiftly made his way to the closed gate he saw earlier as he was walking through the bear enclosure, opening up the gate and following the candlelit path. It led to a wax statue of someone with their arms spread wide, thick red strings of solid way dripping down, hands stretched out from the figure as well as from the stalactite, as if stretching out to grasp the statue, forming a crude and strange picture, as if it would permanently bleed. In front of it was a black Tailcoat, stained red with blood as well as a bloodstained locket. “This can’t be… Are all those… humans? Just how evil does someone have to be to do something like this?!”, Gemini asked, despair and disgust paired in his mechanical voice as P slowly backed away to move forward, away from this gruesome scene. 

The way the scenery moved away from the gruesome and he found himself in a carnival - or at least something of the likes - rather quickly. It was obscure, how the chipper music faded over from behind the closed doors and he had to halt for a moment at that.

And while he stood there, stunned, he noticed a porcelain puppet, around half his size sitting on some boxes. He approached her cautiously and knelt down to her level. She introduced herself as Rosaura. She would be delighted to be his friend - to which P nodded ever so slightly, of course he wanted to find a friend in this unknown place - and asked if he could find her shoes if he came across them on the Carnival Grounds - to which P nodded again, more adamantly this time. He set off after a bow to Rosaura, who gently laughed and returned the gesture in kind.

He opened the Door to the Carnival, it had a smiling clown face drawn on it in pristine red, white and dark navy blue, it was heavy and he had to lean against it again after his first try was to light. He was greeted by the sight of a ferris wheel in the distance, statues of animals and clean banners hung up everywhere. “Huh, Carnival Garden…the Tram Station’s that way. I think it’s our best way of getting out of here. Unless you wanna look around first, pal. Maybe there are some treasures hiding around here too”; Gemini chirps up as P nods, looking around with astonishment. 

He never was on a Carnival - how could he, he was about a week old, if his track of time was right. But it delighted him, at least that is what he thought he should call the rather cheerful clicking of his gears within his chest. 

As he strolled around the grounds, he played the games he found, throwing sawtoothed wheels at little clowns and winning a nice-looking tea set, which he carefully placed in his trusty pocket before moving forward. Here and there, he found coins that he inserted into a machine that showed the silhouette of a dancing man. He tried his best to move as the silhouette, tapping along to the beat and finishing with a little gesture. He would show this little dance of his to them once he returned. The other coins he gave to the puppets in front of the different tents, entering them and facing their challenges. Hitting twelve puppets in a certain amount of time and beating a flaming jester puppet (which did scare him at first, but was rather easy thanks to their weapon). He rode the Ferris wheel, looking over the breathtaking view of a Krat not destroyed by the Frenzy and Decay. “Even this place was prettier - and happier - back in the day”, Gemini noticed gently, sadness dripping from his voice as P absently nodded and jumped off the Ferris wheel, down to a path, curious where it would lead him. At the end of his path, he dropped down into a merry-go-round, finding Rosaura's red shoes and returning them to her. She should be able to continue her journey with them, wherever her travels may lead her. After that, he moved forward once more, finding a merchant who had his eyes on the tea set he had won earlier. He sold it to him for a rather solid price, more than he expected to make from a mere tea set alone. He took a key with the emblem of the black rabbit brotherhood off his hands and nodded slightly before moving along once more. 

The room he enters is dark before exploding into light with fireworks and sparks flying everywhere. It would have been nice if not for him jumping at least four feet back out of reflex as the clown statue announced that he should partake in the little dance competition. He did, of course, he was curious about what it would bring about. The sound of his shoes hitting the floor was louder, as if it was designed to dance on in this tapping manner that he had adapted, and the clown cheered for him, another round of fireworks exploding as his prize was revealed. Nothing much, really, but he took it nonetheless and moved on to finally - sadly - leave the Circus Grounds behind him, towards the Tram Station that led him to the Hotel, though it was not in its usual pristine look, no picture was hung up, the piano was not in its spot, the library was not filled with books and Polendina was not behind the front desk. In front of the desk was a man dressed in pristine, golden clothes with a snail mask. His demeanour alone told P that this man was rather important; he carried himself in a way that they were not too fond of. But he silently walked up to him, doing the Stalkers Promise in Gereeting as the man nodded slightly. “Greetings to you, too, Stalker. Though you do not belong to the Bastards, I would recognize one of my own. Are you one of the Sweepers?”, he asks, shifting his stance a bit as P shook his head. The man hummed deep in thought. “Oh, well, my Apologies, I haven’t introduced myself. I am Lumacchio, the Leader of the Bastards”, he adds with a slight bow, which P returns in kind. The man clad in gold tilts his head at the silence, as P remembers what he was here for. The Crow that killed Markiona and Lea, the legendary Stalker. So he asks about both, though Lumacchio did not seem too eager to answer, he does. Telling him that both of them went into the Underground Facility of the Alchemist and that he should be careful down there, the Alchemists are a crazy pack.

 But that was nothing new for him.

So he nodded and strutted away from the posh-looking man with the snail mask, straight towards a rather plump-looking man, adorned with nice clothing and a rather simple tiger mask. He introduces himself as Klaus, telling P that he was saved by a rather unfriendly legendary Stalker, who threw his back out and that she went into the Facility. Nothing new to him, yet he listened intently as Klaus rambled on about the Ancient Disks he was collecting and that he would probably part with some of the valuables he had in his bag if he brought him some of said Disks. P noted it in the back of his head before heading off one more, finally going into the Facility, through an entrance he never knew existed in the Hotel

[venigni]

The funniest part about this is how it looks like P's got a snail on his head because of the angle.

🐌

gay on gay violence

[puppetofdreams]

I find it significant that once Lumacchio transforms into a monster, his boss music turns into a slightly different version of the Mad Donkey's boss music. Once, a refined high-ranking member of Krat society now reduced into a desperate, pitiful lost cause.

[venigni]

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

[winndycakesart]

So in a LoP fan server we were talking and trashing on Lumacchio.

We were talking about his elixir and the topic of scam elixir's came up, and someone sent a gif of the piss elixir scene of Sweeney Todd. I (or someone else) brought up "What if the Alchemists gave Luma piss to drink?)

Thus this comic was born.

Additionally I put no effort into drawing Lumacchio as well as even just grabbing some public domain snail png pic because fuck him he doesn't deserve my effort. I still made the whole thing sketchy overall but ye.

This is my shit post contribution to Lies of P.

[ocean--toast]

Anyone shipping lumacchio and simon or am I seeing yaoi where there is none

[reaping-romeo]

I’ve done it once again… defeated the sixth boss: Lumacchio, Leader of the Bastards. This one was lowkey a pain.

But… hello, Astarion. 😉😏

Some tips:

*Use the holy trinity of throwables and consumables! Thermites, throwing cells, and carcass body fluid are your best friends here. In his first phase, Lumacchio is still human, and carcass body fluid absolutely melts his health.

Once he hits about a quarter HP, he drinks what I assume is some kind of alchemist potion and transforms into a monstrous form. At this point, fire-based attacks will be your go-to for maximum damage.

Use consumables—shot puts, saw blades, sharp pipes, and cluster grenades—to stack on that physical damage.

-- I highly suggest bringing Aegis into this fight. It’ll let you deal extra damage on blocks, which is key when the boss is constantly on the offensive. Pair that with either the flame grindstone for added elemental burn, or the perfection grindstone to land consistent perfect guards.

*Blocking is crucial in this fight. Lumacchio is fast—especially in his first phase—and his relentless attack strings will quickly drain your stamina if you rely too much on dodging. His strikes are tough to avoid unless your timing is spot on.

In his second phase, he slows down just a bit, but don’t get comfortable. He’s still wildly aggressive and can punish mistakes hard.

Screenshot!

[kaz-ura06]

Making Lumacchio sad

As he should be