#lysander.blogs

[fiery-system]

LMFAO absolutely losing it at "larping did"

me, larping did:

[fiery-system]

Did not expect my anon hate to blow up but just so we're all clear on my stance - fictives are 1000% valid. Do all systems have them? No! Can systems have them? Absolutely. Having them does not make you any less valid.

[fiery-system]

Realized that someone else has been fronting on and off for about a month now. No idea who it is. Kinda scary. Working through it but it's tough.

[fiery-system]

hey I wanted to ask a question about did. The person I’ve liked for around 4-3 months (we’ve kissed and cuddled while I was unaware of this) has DID. I don’t know how many alters they have, but two of them are dating other people. One of such people who bullied and tormented me. The person I liked asked me out and I said I would think about it because I was nervous about accepting, and I recently became aware of this. He said it wasn’t my business what his alters did but I feel like he should’ve told me if he wanted to date me that his alters were also dating, you know? It’s just so uncomfortable and messy. On one hand I really like this guy, but I feel like the fact that his alters are kissing and maybe even possibly doing more to other people with the body may be a dealbreaker. It just feels like cheating in a way. I brought this up with him and he just said “I can’t control them” and left it at that. I’m really upset because I thought we were growing closer, especially after he asked me out and now I just feel led on and humiliated. What should I do?

Hello!

This seems like an awful situation and I'm very sorry that you seem to have been caught up in it. Your feelings are 100% valid and, to be honest, I would feel the same way as you if I was in your current situation.

To preface, I have very little to no experience w/ dealing with DID/OSDD and relationships, this disorder has great impacted our ability to get into that sort of thing. But I'm still going to try and answer this just from a decent person perspective.

While your partner is correct, there's really no true way to 100% control alters, there is a level of responsibility and communication that one should have with alters, or aspire to have, especially when it involves relationships. This ensures that situations like that one you've found yourself in don't happen. While your partner can't completely control what alters do, it's incredibly dismissive for them to simply write off the bad behavior of their alters as something out of their control. If they care about you, they should communicate with their alters and try to resolve the situation.

This has happened to us previously with friendships: Fire wanted to befriend someone who had treated one of our other friends poorly, so we as a system talked and he came to understand that it would not be a great idea for that to happen. That is ALWAYS a possibility and for your partner not to try and work in that direction to make you feel more comfortable is a red flag.

This, coupled with the fact that it seems your partner is not truly communicating with you, doesn't seem like a super healthy relationship to be in.

Going to leave this open for people to add their two cents as again, we don't have a ton of experience with these things, but this is just how I go about even friendships with my alters.

[fiery-system]

Idk how people keep finding this account as we’re VERY inactive but cheers, hope you’re all having a good day!

[fiery-system]

there are years of my life I can't remember and I've just been told time and time again that it's not important !! :))))) it's not that big of a deal!!!! :))))) I literally can't remember two years ago how is that,,,, not important

[fiery-system]

Why yes, I am the world champion at questioning my identity every 5 minutes. Is it the being transgender? Is it the DID? Is it the childhood trauma? (Those last two inform each other) Who knows! 

[fiery-system]

the DID community on TikTok is,,,, interesting to say the least. so much misinformation and glorification of a life altering disorder

[fiery-system]

watching H/annibal, and I really really love Will, like I relate to him very much, but also the later half of S1 is filmed really fluidly, like it makes dissociating very easy. 

[fiery-system]

discovering more alters? haha, no, what, I would never. 

[fiery-system]

Shuffle really did just hit us with 6 Hozier songs in a row. My poor soul can hardly handle one, let alone 6 in a row.

[fiery-system]

Basic system intros:

Hello folks, wanted to give some basic info on alters that you'll see on this account, including names, pronouns, and everyone's hashtag.

The body is 21 as an aside, and currently diagnosed w DID, C-PTSD, OCD, and figuring out what flavor of chronic illness we have. Though this blog is almost entirely devoted to DID.

Lysander, host, they/he, #lysander.blogs

Chai, they/them, #chai.blogs

Fire, it/he, #fire.blogs

Matt, he/him, #matt.blogs

Will, he/they, #will.blogs

Elior, she/they, #elior.blogs

Klaus, any pronouns, #klaus.blogs

There are some hashtags with alter names that are not featured here, those alters have either gone dormant or integrated.

Thanks tons, look forward to chatting with you all.

[fiery-system]

I just fucking hate myself today folks 🥴

[fiery-system]

System Update!

Marco joked about it the other day but here’s an actual update on the system :) 

Cal -> Lysander (host), 19 years old also age of the body, they/them pronouns and bisexual. Loves writing, usually kind of sad, punk/alt aesthetic.

Fire (persecutor/protector), 21 years old, he/him pronouns and bisexual. Loves quiet and comfy places, a little aggressive overall, grunge/skate aesthetic.

Marco (??), 17-21 years old, he/him pronouns and asexual biromantic. Kind of a little shit, loves flowers, soft/cottagecore aesthetic.

Chai (primary protector), he’s an angel so??, they/he pronouns and bisexual. Keeps serious most of the time, actually a big softy, angel/soft aesthetic for the most part.

Klaus (fictive, TUA), 30 years old, he/him pronouns and a flaming homosexual. Loves partying, dressing up, drinking, mostly happy and upbeat, rave/space aesthetic.

There’s a few littles but I won’t disclose their identities and such 1. because I’m not privy to know them and 2. for their identity :)