#machineconcepts

[psymachine]

episode where dennis finds out that mac actually never stopped going after the women he's hooked up with -- but now instead of wanting sloppy seconds, mac just approaches them in a gay best friend way and gets them to vent about the details of hooking up with dennis.

most of the women make a point of how bad the sex was, but mac is still into it somehow.

[psymachine]

i want mac to have a recurring background boyfriend for like at least 3 episodes and then there's an ep where he's really excited to introduce his first bf to the rest of the gang via an embarrassingly formal dinner. but he and dennis end up in a huge fight when dennis -- even more irritatable than usual -- blows up and storms out of the restaurant after the bf is a few minutes late. (why should he bother meeting the guy when he obviously doesn't give a real fuck about mac?)

the bf arrives shortly after, extremely apologetic. he's good-looking and charming, with just enough rough edges to fit in. he wins dee, charlie, and frank over quickly; makes mac almost forget about the fight with dennis. they all have a great time together. get tipsy. hit a bar. dance and drink even more.

at some point, mac and the bf have an intimate, startlingly serious conversation about what had happened with dennis earlier. about mac's feelings for dennis and their fucked-up history. about mac and the bf's feelings for each other and their possible future??? they kiss with emotion.

mac laughs to himself a little afterwards and confides that dennis has been such an asshole lately that he's been secretly using just for men touch of grey when he dyes dennis' hair. instantly, dennis peels off his hyper-realistic silicone mask and launches into a bond villain monologue about how he suspected mac was sabotaging him so he fabricated this identity and pretended to be mac's bf until he could trick mac into feeling safe enough to reveal his secret.

dee and charlie say that mac has been bragging about switching out dennis' hair dye almost every day at the bar, and they could have told him if he'd asked ever.

"dude you like full-on fucked me multiple times," mac says.

"no," dennis says. "you're not understanding."

hard cut to the gang back at paddy's later. everything is normal.

[psymachine]

dennis making up a game for him and mac where he creates a new persona and goes to a bar and then mac arrives after him and has to roleplay picking him up like they're strangers. (and he absolutely can fail.)

except one time mac shows up at the bar dennis texted him and cannot find dennis anywhere. mac freaks out, thinking he somehow fucked up the venue or the time and dennis is gonna kill him for it. but right before he resigns himself to calling, he feels eyes and looks up to see a weird chick glaring at him from across the bar.

(what is her problem?)

he looks back at his phone. then does a quick double-take at the woman. blonde and tall and pissed and pretty. familiar.

...he found dennis.

she introduces herself as victoria that night.

[psymachine]

maybe like once a month dennis would go to some very off-campus gay bar and find an older dude to buy him drinks and whisper-shout against his ear: fuck, you're such a pretty boy.

sometimes he might dance with the guy -- might let himself be manhandled a little bit. if he felt like dancing.

occasionally he'd go so far as to make-out -- if the guy that night was so good-looking it actually didn't make sense not to kiss him, rationally speaking.

and then once he'd soaked up enough desire and worship to drip with it, dennis would coax the guy into one more round and slip out of the bar before he came back with the drinks.

[psymachine]

dennis finds a double-ended dildo in mac's toy collection while snooping and his immediate reaction is that it's garish and pathetic but days pass and curiosity gets the better of him and now he lowkey wants to try it but he can't just ask so he waits and waits thinking eventually, surely, mac will ask him so that dennis can just benevolently agree to indulge him -- you don't buy a double-ended dildo unless you're hoping to need both ends! -- but mac never asks, even after dennis caves to hinting and steering and picking at the scab (does mac think he wouldn't be into the dildo? too refined or too prudish? does mac just not want to use it with him? did mac only ever use it with one guy and if so who the fuck was he?) until it inevitably blows up into a nasty argument about something completely unrelated and finally, finally, comes back around to the double-ended dildo and the truth is that mac only bought it because it seemed like 2 dicks for the price of one

[psymachine]

mac and dennis hitting a gay bar after monthly dinner night.

in their minds, they look like hot shit posted up together in a shadowy corner -- sexy, mature, sophisticated entrepreneurs out on the town for a nice meal and a few drinks -- lording over the messy teen twinks and sad-sack geezers still trying to paw at them.

hard-cut to reality where they're tangled up on the couch they just bullied somes dudes off of -- absolutely wasted, dennis' tinted lip gloss smeared all over mac's face and his mascara smudged from shit-talking nearby patrons and muffling their evil gay snickering against each other's shoulders.

[psymachine]

episode idea #543: dennis meets a man who truly matches his freak (perhaps they bump into each other while preying on the same woman) and it triggers an intense, obsessive rivalry where they each try to prove they're better at seducing/manipulating people -- just women at first, then men as it escalates. eventually dennis decides the only way he can truly win is by seducing his rival directly. of course, Rival has the same idea, so they end up spending a beautiful, romantic evening together followed by a passionate night which redefines the experience of sex for dennis forever.

by morning, the creeping dread of emotional vulnerability has dennis plotting an attack before Rival can hurt him first (this is couched in his mind as the logical way to break their stalemate, and so he knows Rival will arrive there too).

he ends up framing Rival for some kind of minor crime or drug charge so that he wins and also won't bump into Rival accidentally while he's fighting in court. except it turns out Rival has weird shit in his apartment that gets him sent to prison for a couple years for real.

dennis regularly goes to see him in prison like studying a dangerous animal behind glass. they only talk about what happened between them in terms of plotting and strategy and winners and losers.

part of dennis wants Rival to admit he would have done the same thing if dennis hadn't beaten him to it, but he won't ask. Rival won't give him the satisfaction, but he never refuses dennis' visits either 🖤

[psymachine]

i want a dennis sexuality crisis episode complete with dream sequence where he's hardcore making out with a sexy lady but when he finally pulls back it's just mac with big unnaturals

[psymachine]

dee figuring out she's a victim of comphet after being forced to listen to mac drunkenly rant about how much he loOOoooves having sex with men now and realizing that she... might not actually like having sex with men that much at all 🙂‍↔️

[psymachine]

*clicks the record button on my microcassette player*

macdennis talking about hooking up with college girls before dennis takes mac to his first college party. nervous, mac begrudgingly asks what girls actually want you to do with their tits. dennis jumps on the opportunity to flex his relative sexual experience and launches into a presentation on nipple play and tit-sucking. mac is such a poor student that eventually dennis has to offer himself as practice model and critic (no, dude, it's basically not even gay since they're not touching mouths or dicks -- like, it's basically nothing.)

they both get carried away and dennis goes to the party with his nipples chafing against the soft cotton of his shirt. neither of them score that night.

*clicks the button again and takes a creatively tortured sip of whiskey*

[psymachine]

mac not understanding dennis' very basic sexual emoji usage in the gang texts leads me to believe he often has no idea what's going on in his grindr messages

my dude is out here thinking some men want him to solve a puzzle or talk about produce before they'll bang

[psymachine]

tried viewing dennis' behavior towards mac through the below lens and my third eye opened:

dennis thought he and mac were already married. mac being jealous of his harem or his wife was against their pre-nup. mac flirting with coming out was like asking dennis to negotiate the terms of his mistress. mac broke his vows and pretends like they were never even married, so dennis is pretending he never even loved him. the sex is too good to stop.

[psymachine]

spiritual sequel to this post: mac gets messaged on grindr by a guy who looks exactly like dennis with some facial hair, a wig, and like maybe an eyepatch or a scar or something. he's pissed but decides he's going to beat dennis at his own game this time -- essentially by playing gay chicken with him until he cracks.

they meet at a club that night. they have so much in common -- how fucking dumb does dennis think he is?? except no matter how gay he goes, dennis doesn't flinch. he flirts back, touches back, kisses back. follows mac home. sucks mac's dick on their couch. gives mac the best fuck of his life in dennis' bed.

in the afterglow, mac is trying to figure out what the fuck just happened and what it all means for him and dennis when the real dennis comes home and all hell breaks loose. mac is forced to explain to the guy that he thought he was his best friend and roommate in disguise the whole time. dennis is screaming. not-dennis freaks out and escapes.

the vibe at paddy's is extremely weird the next day. the rest of the gang already knows what happened. mac mopes around, realizing what he'd almost had with an actual man who wasn't dennis.

at some point, not-dennis appears at the bar and awkwardly asks mac if they can talk for a minute. during the conversation, they admit they did like each other despite all the other fucked up nonsense that may have been going on. they decide to go out to dinner and give it another shot.

at the dinner date later, things are going well. mac and not-dennis talk animatedly and probably do some gay shit like hold hands across the table. they're glad they tried again. the server brings their plates and they begin to eat, both praising the food. mac asks if not-dennis wants to try his fish since he only got some kind of salad. not-dennis declines, explaining that he's actually vegan. after a second, mac excuses himself to go to the bathroom and then walks in the opposite direction and leaves out the front door of the restaurant while the guy watches in bewilderment.

[psymachine]

imagining mac and dennis have a bunch of those orthopedic pillow wedges and crescents and tubes specifically because princess dennis wants to be cradled in the perfect position to get fucked without risking his vitruvian back or exerting himself too much

[psymachine]

mac if he wasn't delusional

[psymachine]

post-macdennis reveal episode in the same vein as "the gang spies like u.s." where mac and dennis get tired of fighting and decide to look for a third partner for casual sex so they can both bottom get what they want. except they have a hard time finding a guy they're a. both attracted to and b. neither of them are jealous of, so they keep sabotaging/scaring away each candidate.

meanwhile, charlie sees them sneaking around to screen all these guys and thinks they're trying to replace him with another gay friend since they're both gay now. a confused confrontation ensues where he essentially re-applies to be their friend by bringing up all the weird shit they've done together over the last 30 years and insisting he can fulfill all of their needs even though he's not also gay.

dennis and mac misunderstanding this and freaking out while considering whether they should/want to just fuck charlie until everything finally blows up.