#macrobcoping

[qwedfas]

i relapsed with self-harm tonight. i hate my body and i hate myself. self-harm is the only constant in my life; it'sthe only thing that i know will always be there for me. it seems like i just keep coming back to it.. it literally makes me feel euphoric.

Hi,

Self harm is not the only way to find that euphoria. There are other things that you can do to replicate that feeling. To feel so negative about yourself and your body is very hard to deal with, the response to self harm is then tempting. Does the self harm though change the way you feel about yourself for any longer than the immediate feeling of euphoria? If it does not last then it is not actually offering you a solution. It is just adding to your already existing problems. Please try and find an alternative to this that will have long term benefits. Being with other people is very powerful as is walking or running. Please go and talk with a counselor or Kids Help Line for more advice on feeling better about yourself. We’re sorry for the late reply. You can email/ talk to any one of us anytime.

Hope this helps.

Love,

FAMxx

[qwedfas]

Hey FAM! I'm super proud of my Cantonese identity/fluency (I'm from GZ) but I've struggled with it because Mando kids have it easier. I'm really struggling in external Chinese and I plan on taking 12 SL in 2019. I've struggled with Chinese teachers telling me Canto is a useless language and I'm crap at Mandarin bc I can't let go of it, but I can't bring myself to give up on my culture & language. I really struggle with no one understanding that Canto is entirely separate from Mando. I feel lost.

Hey there,

First off, choosing to stand with your culture and language as opposed to doing what everyone tells you to takes amazing courage and resilience. It’s hard to go against the norm but it may be even more difficult to give up a part of your identity which is completely understandable.

Unfortunately, Cantonese is one of the languages some people are averse to and is in particular harder to learn because of the lesser amount of resources available to students since it’s one of the less popular languages. If you need help regarding learning the language, approach one of the senior school teachers to see if they may be able to direct you to where you may receive assistance. Perhaps talk with your parents about how you’re learning Cantonese and maybe you’ll be able to find better learning environments for yourself.

Even so, what those Chinese teachers say do not change who you are or what an amazing language Cantonese is. You are strong enough to stand above their negative opinions. A good thing about this school is the large number of Cantonese speaking students. If you have any Cantonese-speaking friends (I know a surprising amount of people who do speak), you could practise speaking or get them to test you on various things.

While I’m not at all fluent (or even versed in the basics), I love being able to speak with and understand my friends. Not only that, but also - I love Cantonese. To me it sounds like comfort and my grandparents, and hearing it really puts me at ease. I don’t have any plans to learn the written language but I’d love to be able to speak fluently one day - hopefully with people like you!

So keep on following this important part of your life because no one can decide for you who you are. I hope you’ll establish a place for yourself as a Cantonese speaker soon. Never stop expressing yourself!

Here is the experience of someone outside of FAM:

Hey there,

I personally did Chinese SLA in 2017 and I grew up speaking Canto as well. I just want to reassure you that no matter what your chinese teacher says being able to speak Cantonese and embracing that side of your culture does not hinder your ability to speak Mandarin.

Also it takes a lot of courage and strength to stick with your own cultural identity so you’ve been doing a great job, never let go of that and be proud of who you are because that is what makes you truly you.

If you are particularly worried about speaking Mando for your SL exam, I really just suggest practicing speaking and really just listening to people speak Mando. (I watched some chinese dramas both period and contemporary so I could also enrich my chinese vocab and maybe this will help you too).

In any case, hold on to your identity and be proud of it. There are many ways to improve your Mandarin, and I can assure you giving up on Cantonese is not one of those. (If you want to know more about doing Chinese SL with a Canto background, feel free to email me at con0017@macrob.vic.edu.au)

And I know it is frustrating when people can’t tell the difference between Canto and Mando but don’t get frustrated, just explain to them what the differences are and how it’s a dialect with the same written language. Remember, the more people you talk to it about, the more people know the difference.

Love,FAM xx

[qwedfas]

It is widely known that it is not ok to say: 'You're fat' to someone however, people seem to think its ok saying: 'Wow! You're so thin!'. What's the difference? And btw I'm not anorexic thin, I just am tall and people always always say it and I'm not sure whether they think its a compliment or what but it's come to the point where I don't even know what to respond with. Thanks I love being thin! And also I don't eat fast food and processed stuff and I hate always having to explain myself to ppl

Hey there!

Yes, I completely agree, it’s definitely not something that is tolerable. I can completely relate to you as I went through the exact same experience. If it’s getting on your nerves just tell them, it’s completely fine and I think they would understand.

However, if you’re describing yourself as ‘not anorexic thin’ and someone that doesn’t eat any processed food and fast food, maybe talk to someone. I was like you 2 years ago, family friends were saying that I’ve gotten thinner, I was eating only clean food and I was over exercising. If this sounds anything like you, I advise you to talk to someone. It’s only this year when I was watching a youtube video that I realised that I might have had an eating disorder. I know I might sound like I’m coming out of nowhere but it’s better to be sure than sorry and these issues are quite serious.

Love,

FAM xx

[qwedfas]

I feel jealous of those better than me when people praise them, and I'm just left in the dark and everyone ignores me. It's irrational though bc the people I'm jealous of clearly are better than me. Sigh. Is it normal??

Hi there,

It’s completely normal to feel this way, and I know exactly how you feel. But we’ve got to remember that these emotions are not positive ones, and if anything often leave us feeling worse of. Everyone has their own skills and we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to others. We’ve got to take pride in ourselves, trust our own abilities and enjoy the things we do, because that’s what really matters. And even if we get attention or not, as long as we’re living lives we can be proud of and feel fulfilled because of, then that’s great

Hopefully this helps,

Love, FAM xx

[qwedfas]

Hey! VCE is really tough and I find that when I have a 3/4 SAC coming up, I tend to only study that subject for a week and fall behind in others which isn't great because when I have assessments in my other subjects I have to cram. So how can you keep that balance between all your subjects so you don't fall behind and also do well in your 3/4s?

Hey there! 

I think we all struggle with this - well I for one definitely understand. Let’s say there are about 4 hours a day to study. You dedicate half of that time to your ¾ and the other half to your other subjects. A thing about VCE is that many teachers don’t set you homework and expect you to do your own thing and kinda help yourself to keep up with the content and do your own work. Another thing I do is to maximise class time. If you do a maths subject, try to finish the exercise in class. Sometimes I ALMOST finish in class and finish it during lunch.

You’ll notice that between SACs there’s kinda a little lull in stress. Like when there are no SACs or assessments coming up, rather than using that time to procrastinate, you could get ahead in the content. For me, the UMAT was coming up and I knew I was solely going to study for it for a week, so during the holidays and the first week of school I tried really hard to complete as many spesh exercises as possible so I wouldn’t fall behind. It’s also good to have a timeline of your ¾ course. Usually they’re very accurate so you can tell when a SAC is coming even if your teacher doesn’t tell you. If you see it coming up in 3 weeks, rather than waiting until 1 week before to fully study, you could start your revision earlier and do a little bit everyday. By the time it comes to 1 week beforehand you’ve cut down so much of the workload and can focus on really solidifying your knowledge.

Every subject is different. You know yourself better than anybody else and should know which subjects require more effort/practise/attention.One tip my teacher taught me was to have 3 levels of intensity. High level - such as doing a practice sac/essay/exam/etc. Medium level - Writing/finalising notes. Low level - revising flash cards/notes. These are just a few examples and could vary depending on subject. But you should do the lower intensity activities later at night cos you’ll be tired. There are also heaps of articles on how to manage your time and be more productive.

Hope this helps!

Love, FAM xx

[qwedfas]

hiya FAM, what do you do to cope with nervousness? i have orals coming up im scared

Hey,

Be prepared. That’s the only way to not feel nervous. Just keep practicing and practicing until the words come out without you having to think about it. Also I know it’s hard, but don’t be nervous and the whole experience goes much better. Just empty out all your worry and other thoughts. Just focus on your topic and let the information (that you know you know) come naturally.

Also before you get up to speak, and before you start speaking, take a deep breath. Calm yourself down, look around and familiarise yourself with the feeling of standing in front of your class before you start. It’ll make you feel more comfortable.

Don’t stress, we know you’re gonna kill it :)

Love, FAM xx

[qwedfas]

Hey FAM, I think I have an emotional breakdown whenever I think of doing Chinese. I can't help but cry and throw a fit every time I have to do something about it and it just makes me (and everyone else) so miserable and I'm unproductive for the next few days. Thing is, I'm already doing 3/4 this year. Do you guys have any tips on just forcing myself to see this fucking thing through and also for Chinese SL in general? Thank you guys 💕

Hi there,

I was in the literal same position as you last year- and honestly i still do regret doing Chinese because it took so much out of  me for little to no reward (in my opinion). The way I saw myself through it was to just memorise my GC and DS, actually seek help from my parents and do the best i could with the little time I had.

There isn’t much time left, so the best thing to do now is perhaps start doing the practice exams and if your teacher is pretty good you should consult them as well. THe worst thing you can do now is focus on how much you hate it or how much you regret doing it but rather just tackle it head in and get it over and done with (which is what i did). Just think about the happiness you’ll feel when this whole thing is over - and you’ll never have to experience it again! You might as well finish this up properly, besides you’ve only got 3 months to go. You want to finish the year knowing you’ve given it your best shot :)

Hope this helps, and good luck!

Love, FAM xx

[qwedfas]

im in year 10 and gosh i just want to skip through years 11 and 12 im so worried about vce

Hey there,

I totally understand why you’re scared. VCE is daunting - even the terminology you have to learn just to get with the program is hard enough as it is, but don’t let that get you down in the dumps. VCE, whilst by many, are considered the hardest two years of their schooling life, it’s also two of the most valuable years of personal growth and development. Through it all, I’ve learned that your ATAR is just a ticket from one door to another (that is if you plan to continue onto university. In no way is it possible in this world for a 4 digit number and a decimal point to summarise your entire being - however, that’s how our education system is structured that way. Just know, that they are other systems in place, so if you are facing disadvantages, there is a thing called SEAS that will help you when applying for university. My point is, that at the end of it all (and I’m talking about your high school experience), you’ll come to realise that you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and more loved than you’ll ever know.

So hold onto hope and just know that whatever this world throws at you, you’ll survive it!

Love,

FAMxx

[qwedfas]

i cant stop crying from 3 days nonstop

Hi lovely!

We’re so sorry to hear this! We really hope you’re okay and that you’re doing well. Things can get tough, and there’s absolutely no doubt that it sucks. But whatever you’re going through I hope that you know it won’t stay like this forever - things really do get better. Obviously we don’t know your personal situation or what exactly you’re going through, but I know from personal experiences that if you find yourself crying with no apparent end in sight, one of the best ways to lift your spirits is to listen to a bomb soundtrack of some super upbeat, happy tunes (maybe even try singing along!). You could also try getting stuck into a good book, exercise or even give meditating a shot. Look up some guided meditations and give your mind a break. Try to make as big of an effort as you can to take your mind off whatever it is that’s upsetting you. It won’t be easy, but as long as you’re taking these steps to helping yourself we can guarantee that you will start feeling better. We believe in you! Keep your head up beautiful xx

All the best!

Love, FAM xx

[qwedfas]

I'm failing everything I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do, there's so much sht I have to catch up on and there's fking holiday homework I haven't started yet (I'm in year 11 doing two 3/4s that I absolutely hate and haven't put any effort into​ and honestly I can't be bothered) can I just give up already and accept that I'm going to fail life

Hey there,

Don’t give up! Firstly, define what failing is to you because you might actually not be technically speaking, but rather failing to your expectations. It’s only the beginning of the year so you still have time to pick yourself up before the exams. Don’t worry too much about your SACs because although they do count, the exams are what really matter as they count towards the majority of your study score.

Take a deep breath, and approach it systematically. Try writing a timetable and to-do list of what you need to do. From there, spread it out in the remaining days of the holidays, prioritising what matters. Don’t concentrate on your 1/2s too much, just do enough to get an S on them! Even though you don’t like your ¾ subjects, you’ve already chosen them to commit to and from what I know it’s probably too late to drop them now. Do enough to pass through them; you don’t need to ace them so don’t put too much pressure on yourself. At least now, from experience, you know not to choose subjects you don’t enjoy but follow what you like, because you will naturally do better in subjects you prefer.

I remember in year 11, I was extremely behind in one of my ¾ subjects and completely neglected the other. During the Term 1 holidays, I was honestly a mess as well, but picked myself from there. I started to get my life together, set a timetable and reminders so that I knew I had to focus on my 3/4s at least once a day, and then fit in my 1/2s from there. Unless I had an assignment for ½ coming, I never really paid attention to them minus methods since it’s good foundation for ¾. If this doesn’t work for you, try talking to Ms Baldock (or your wellbeing counsellor if you don’t go to Macrob) or year level coordinators. From what I know, there are students who have been allowed to drop one of their ½ subjects because it was too overwhelming so it’s worth a try talking to someone!

I hope this helps, and don’t give up! There are always ways around it, so you have not failed unless you let yourself think that way. Don’t give yourself such high expectations or pressure either. Just because you don’t get a high score, into a course that requires a high ATAR or getting straight into a course you wanted but having to go around doesn’t mean you will fail in life. You fail in life if you give up, because there are endless possibilities as long as you try though it may be hard.

Love,

FAM Xx

[qwedfas]

hey its like the third week of year 11 and i feel like i've burnt out.i try to study and nothing goes in my brain. i swear more than ever. my relationships arent good atm. what should i do?

Hey anon,

The transition into year 11 is quite big from year 10 so it’s okay that you feel burnt out already. Take it easy, the school has just started so it’s okay if you’re a little bit behind. Take it at your own pace and make sure to also accommodate for things you enjoy doing.

When studying, keep in mind that our attention span only lasts from 30 minutes to about an hour before it’s ineffective. Make sure to take 15 to 30 minute breaks in between and then get back to work; it’ll be more effective doing that than studying for hours straight and checking your phone every so often, etc. Assign yourself a couple of hours for homework only (try to use your frees so that you can relax after school instead), before a solid hour or two break where you do things that you like, such as drawing, writing, exercising and so on. If you feel extremely burnt out, take a break and if it’s late at night you’re better off getting a good night’s sleep - when our brain does the most hard work as it processes all the things we learn into long term memory. You can also talk to your teachers to ask them to help you develop a timetable that you can try to stick to and use your time effectively. Studying effectively is far more useful than studying for a long time. Reading a textbook, making notes and then doing pages and pages of exercises doesn’t work for everyone - for me, taking notes from a textbook makes me feel as if the information is going in one side of my brain and out the other. Figure out what sticks in your brain best - is your time better spent doing exercises, making notes or revising, and how do different strategies work for you?

It sounds as if you feel quite stressed and overwhelmed. While school is important, the most important thing by far is your own well-being. It you find yourself swearing and your relationships are suffering, the stress from school is likely impacting on other areas of your life. Take breaks from studying to relax - listen to some music, have a bath/shower, go for a walk.  Try to talk to your friends and family, it can be relaxing and you can also work on your relationships with them. School is just one part of your life and it shouldn’t control everything else that is going on. Family and friends are great for support when you’re feeling stressed, so make sure to communicate and rely on them when you, just like how they’d rely on you if in need. You can also consider forming study groups with your friends so that way it is more enjoyable and you can help one another out.

Make sure to take care of yourself and don’t overwork!

Love,

FAM xx

[qwedfas]

goodbye year 12s. thank you for everything you have done and I wish you all the best and happiness for the future. before you go can you please leave some tips/motivation for us little ones left behind?

Hey lovely,

Thank you for all your kind wishes and best thoughts – we all will keep them in mind in the lead up to exams and as FAM, it’s been a pleasure and a privilege to serve you and give back to the community in the way that we hope we have done.

Here are some tips and perspectives that’ll hopefully give you a bit of hindsight and help you out for the rest of your schooling journey!

FAM Member 1: I have an awful memory at times so I’m going to try my best to give advice based on my personal experience for each year level and also anything else I can think of!

For Year 9s: When people say ‘get involved’, don’t just nod along and think ‘ye ok whatever we get it GeT inVoLvEd’, actually get involved!!! You won’t regret it I promise. It may sound cliche and common but it really is a great way to meet new people and it helps to build relationships like no other that you’ll experience. Making friends in classes is fantastic, but getting involved in house activities, sports, and other co-curriculars really makes a difference and you get to experience Mac.Rob on a whole different level. Also, if you don’t settle into a friendship group straightaway, don’t stress too much about it. Friendships fluctuate a LOT over the years.

For Year 10s: This is the perfect time to explore new things and immerse yourself even further into the Mac.Rob community. After a year, hopefully you’ve settled down a little and don’t be afraid to open yourself up to trying new things because you never know who you might meet or what you might learn about yourself. I remember when picking electives I chose Music Performance. Now you see, not only had I already done the Year 9 elective for this subject but, I am terrible at performing and being in front of other people and I also dropped out of piano at the end of AMEB Grade 2. I mean at a place like Mac.Rob where so many people are musical prodigies, that’s just ridiculous. So, I made the absurd decision to change my elective, picking VisCom instead. I’ve always had an affinity for creating things but I never would’ve thought to study it. Let me tell you, VisCom was one of my favourite subjects that year and sometimes I think about what it would’ve been like if I had done it for VCE. Basically, moral of the story is to not be afraid to try new things and not be afraid to further explore some interests you have because you never know where it’ll lead. Also, Year 10s try not to get too stressed out, this is the perfect year to enjoy yourself and really just go crazy on the co-curriculars before VCE.

For Year 11s: This was a scary year. I think with all the expectations and added pressure not just from the people around me but more so the pressures that I put on myself made for a hell-ish year. Looking back on it now, I think that if there was anything I could say to my Year 11 self it would be to not worry so much. Grades are not everything and in the long-run both good and bad grades are so insignificant to life anyway that there is no reason to be stressing so much about it. Something I’d definitely recommend is to ask more questions. If you’re confused about something, don’t just sit on it and hope it’ll pass. Go and actually ask your teachers about it because that’s what they’re there for. Also remember that although you’ll be studying ¾ subjects now, don’t neglect your 1/2s. The reason you’re doing those ½ subjects is so that you can form a solid foundation for your studies next year and it’s a lot more valuable than you might think right now.

For Year 12s: This year is absolutely one of the biggest years yet. In the beginning in might not seem like all that much work (depending on which subjects you’re doing of course) but trust me it all hits you like a truck before you know it. The best thing to do would be to stay on top of everything as best you can for the whole year because it’ll set you up really well for SACs and of course the exams at the end of the year. Try setting goals for yourself at the beginning of the year and stick them up on a wall near your desk or in your room. That way, you’ll be reminded every day as to what you want to achieve by the end of this year and have a bit of motivation in times when you really need it. Also remember that while this is a big year in terms of studying, please continue to be involved because you’ll honestly regret it if you don’t. It may not seem like it necessarily, but being a part of something at Mac.Rob that is more than just academics is so important and you’ll never forget it!

Hopefully all of this helps and good luck to all in 2019!FAM xx

[qwedfas]

it's the 19th of september and I've only recently realised that only have i been procrastinating not only from my school work (im in yr 12 and i kinda stopped studying after june) but also everything else that i enjoy. i'm fine at school but at home i take out my frustration on myfamily. i've gained 5 kg this year, i'm always sleepy, i'm always stressed. last year i was so motivated so keen, but this year i feel like i'm getting flattened by a bulldozer. how do i feel a little better about me?

Hey there,

There is no doubt that Year 12 takes a huge toll on almost all aspects of your life. For the majority of us, we can relate to how you’re feeling. We’re not sure how much this’ll help, but below are the perspectives and experiences that some of us have. Remember that you’re not alone and also that you’re so close to the end. If ever you need, we’re sure you have plenty of friends to confide in and if not remember that this is what FAM is here for and we have a lovely wellbeing team and year level coordinators who would be more than happy to help you out.

FAM Member 1: I relate to this!! You’re not the only one going through these things, my year 12 has strained my relationship with my family and I’ve gained around 7-8kg this year as well. It’s good that you’ve gotten to this point of being self aware and it’s the first step to making changes. What helps me to stay motivated and pick up morale is to think about the time that is left in high school and how I can make the most of it now. There’s only so much time left, and now it’s time to really put the pedal to the metal. It’s the final push, and soon you’ll be able to do whatever you want to your heart’s content (the summer holidays after year 12 are supposed to be some of the best days of your life!!)

Hang in there!

Love,FAM <3

[qwedfas]

why do problems constantly just build on one after the other never giving me a break

Hey friend!

This sucks and we’re sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. Always remember that you’re not alone in your struggles and there is no shame in asking for help. You are resilient and no matter what life throws at you, you always get through it! Despite things constantly trying to bring you down, keep strong and keep going.

We’re always here to chat and we have a wonderful wellbeing support team at school and we’re all only an email away.

Don’t give up! And heaps of love,FAM xx

[qwedfas]

this is a really confusing question but i hope someone will understand it. I always do my homework the night before and I acknowledge that i should be doing it earlier- but i just cant bring myself to. Say its the day before my hw is due and my family makes plans- i always say i cant. and the thing is that even if i did actually go, i would start doing it at the same time if i did not go.

Heyo,

I definitely get you! It’s the strange ‘non-feeling’ - where you feel like you don’t have that feeling of wanting to do homework. Symptoms include procrastination, spending a long time doing one thing (e.g. reading, on your phone, binging tv shows/ food, hanging out with people) but not doing what you need to do. And honestly, having this ‘non-feeling’ sucks because you know there’s homework that needs to be done and wouldn’t it be great if you finished it at a comfortable time before it’s due, but you don’t touch it anyway. I’ve felt like this throughout my school life and even now in year 12 I don’t do as much as I should be.

What I’ve realised is that I lack a sense of discipline in making myself study without distractions or letting myself go into the void of procrastination, as well as no strong perseverance in consistently studying. I used to have no purpose to study either, until I became a year 12 student.

Here’s a take away - instil discipline into your daily routine. Whatever takes you away from studying, you’re going to have to make yourself avoid it whether it requires your family reminding you to pick up a pen or locking away your phone in a safe that doesn’t open ‘til the day after. For example, start doing homework with a subject you like so you can get into the mood easily, then continue with other subjects. Take short breaks where you walk around (don’t recommend going on phone) or anything to take your mind off of homework real quick. Give yourself rewards for finishing one page, or a snack nearby to energise you throughout. Write a checklist of things to do. Personally, I always go home and while unpacking my school bag, I open my exercise book and leave a pen on top so I can’t tell myself that I won’t study. You don’t have to do all of these things but do whatever makes you pick up that pen/ open that device.

Find a specific reason to study - better uni prospects, impress parents, that 99.95, so you don’t get a D on your report, no matter how what your expectations are for yourself you need a purpose/goal to work towards. This leads to - perseverance. Building perseverance isn’t easy. It’ll take time and effort and for us, it feels like going against the non-feeling but it’s as simple as telling yourself “I’ll do this”. You’re going to pick up that pen, open that book and finish that question. And you’re going to do it for some time today, and maybe not the day after but definitely the day after that until you’re doing homework almost every day. But no need to be so ambitious in studying just yet - start small with “I’ll do this”, one day at a time. Because you know you can, and you will.

(Another thing - don’t restrict yourself from family time, or any other time. Everyone deserves a little time out of school even if you feel like you haven’t done anything.)

FAM xx

[qwedfas]

is it normal to get replaced as a friend by all of your friends once you get into macrob? also i heard that macrob is basically a hub for suicide but it never gets let out on the news. is that true? i need to prepare myself lol

Hey there,

Many Mac Rob students remain close with their friends from their previous school. The friendships will change because you won’t be seeing them everyday but you can still be part of that group in a slightly different way. You might find that you need to put in extra effort to maintain the friendship, but in the end it’s really worth it if you want to keep these relationships active. When you think about it, the great thing is that you get to develop two strong friendship groups and be a part of something more!

Mac Rob is not a hub for suicide. The school is very supportive of any student experiencing mental health issues or emotional distress. Both students and staff  work really hard to help and protect all members of our community. You don’t need to prepare yourself in this sense. Just come on in and join a school that will support you and provide you with exciting academic and extra-curricular experiences.

All the best,FAM xx