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d2kvirus · 6 years ago

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Dickheads of the Month: February 2019

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of February 2019 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Golf claps all round for Jussie Smollett not just for staging an attack and thinking that he would get away with it, something that was always going to be difficult considering the high-profile nature of the assault that he staged, but also guaranteeing that until the end of time every single time there’s a racially-aggravated assault by members of the far right we will hear the mantra of “It’s fake because Jussie Smollett faked his attack” by members of the alt-right who are relieved that, for once, they don’t have to delete dozens of tweets calling something that reflects badly upon them as a false flag attack, as evidenced by their rabid demands for a pound of flesh because this one time they cried wolf there just so happened to be a wolf nearby - with Dinesh D’Souza going so far as to try and cast doubt on attacks that took place in the 1950s and 60s

It would take a real piece of work to outright lie about policy that you’re screwing up on a daily basis, so to the surprise of nobody Theresa May did exactly that when she claimed that the Britait process was being slowed down by those who don’t agree with her deal - even though she was the one who cancelled the vote when it was initially scheduled before Christmas in an obvious attempt to slow down the process and scare everyone into voting for her deal because she’d run down the clock by several weeks

How brave of Chuka Umunna, Luciana Berger, Chris Leslie, Angela Smith, Mike Gapes, Gavin Shuker and Ann Coffey to all resign from the Labour party to form their own party - with blackjack, and hookers! - and to announce as their first order of business that they would not be calling by-elections for the seats they won under a labour manifesto, which certainly doesn't make them look like a bunch of cowards looking to line their pockets at their constituents’ expense while not allowing said constituents the opportunity to say which party they want representing them...but then again The Independent Group aren’t a political party, they’re a limited company (which just so happens to get around Electoral Commission rules on announcing their funding) whose website is based in that well-known tax bolthole that is Panama

And then Angela Smith further discredited The Independent Group PLC when, during a televised debate about racism, she described BAME people as being “black or a funny tinge” - and in doing so she exposed that The Independent Group Ltd not only don’t have any disciplinary procedure of any kind, but there is also no way for anyone to register a complaint

And then we have Joan Ryan jumping ship, somehow neglecting to mention losing a No Confidence vote last year (which saw her throw one hell of a temper tantrum on her Twitter feed when the result came in) or the time she was caught on camera manufacturing accusations of antisemitic abuse, and soon after she joined she attempted to deny there is a video of her discussing a £1m bribe from Shai Masoud - this video, in fact - soon followed by being reported to the Information Commissioner’s Office for attempting to access the data of Labour after she had resigned, which she gave plentiful evidence of her involvement by sending a mass e-mail to Enfield North members after she had resigned

This was soon followed by Anna Soubry demonstrating her devotion to The Independent Group Ltd’s new politics by calling nine years of Tory austerity “marvelous” before complaining that she was no longer allowed to campaign on behalf of Tory council candidates, while Heidi Allen spoke in favour of Universal Credit and stated she would support Theresa May if she faced another No Confidence vote in parliament, because apparently supporting not just the policies but the leader of the party you just left is “new politics” now

According to Candace Owens there was absolutely nothing wrong with Hitler until he began to interfere in other countries as (and these are direct quotes) "it’s important to retain your country’s identity”, that he “just wanted to make Germany great” and “The problem is that he wanted, he had dreams outside of Germany. He wanted to globalise” - which I am sure would have come to some degree of comfort to the countless Jews residing within Germany who found themselves the target for persecution and extermination long before Hitler considered invading Poland

After loudly pondering to anyone with press credentials about how to combat the knife crime problem it finally occurred to Sajid Javid what needs to be done - he needed to cut funding for knife crime programmes, soon followed by not even bothering to show up in Commons when questions about knife crime were on the agenda, choosing to send a lackey to dodge any and all questions in his stead

In yet another case of Arron Banks needing to lie because his bullshit had been exposed by real life intervening, when his comment that Britait wouldn’t affect Toyota investing in Sunderland was undermined by Toyota moving manufacture of the new X-Trail out of Sunderland and relocating it to Japan, the best he could come up with was the market for diesel cars in Britain isn't that great - which I’m sure will come of great comfort to the people of Sunderland who will be out of work because of this move

It appears that Liam Neeson doesn't have a particular set of skills when it comes to promoting his films as nobody’s talking about his latest film and instead talking about how he said that he wanted to murder a black man after somebody close to him was raped by a black man - not the black man responsible, mind you, but any black man he could find while roaming the streets. Even his attempt at recovering fell a little bit flat when he suggested that people need to talk about feelings of rage-fuelled vengeance, but the issue is nobody was talking about this because Neeson himself talked about it in the worst way possible to begin with

Somehow the message didn't reach Chris Williamson as, in an effort to criticise the weaponisation of antisemitism to manufacture a weapon to bludgeon Labour with, he did so in such a way that the main takeaway was he said Labour were “too apologetic” when faced with accusations of antisemitism and guaranteed that, as a result, that blunt weapon would be brought out to bludgeon Labour with yet again

It really does say something that Jacob Rees-Mogg, Andrea Leadsom, David Davis, Arlene Foster, Sajid Javid, Kate Hoey, Peter Bone et al were all up in arms at Donald Tusk’s comments about there being a special place in hell for those backing the Leave campaign without ever formulating a plan, each of them finding their own way to whine about how insulted they were (as if we hadn’t had years of various Leave backers comparing the EU to either the Soviet Union or Third Reich) yet not a single one of them seemed to think it worth suggesting that they had a plan let alone suggest what that plan was

This wasn’t the only time Kate Hoey mouthed off and looked an idiot because of it either, as she also tooks to Twitter to dust off that old chestnut of how nobody voted for any member of the EU, specifically targeting Guy Verhofstadt - only for Verhofstadt to point out that hundreds of thousands did, and it says a lot that those so adamant about leaving the EU don’t know a bloody thing about it

Another month and another example of the BBC using Question Time as a platform not for informed debate but an echo chamber for the far right, with them bussing in and spouter of all manner of bigoted and sectarian bile Billy Mitchell once again tucked away in the audience masquerading as a member of the public, which is at least the fourth time this has been noticed, and they went so far as to allow Mitchell to chat with at least one member of the panel before the taping began which is in direct contravention of the BBC’s own rules - and even edited out the SNP panelist’s response. Of course Mitchell isn’t the only case of this, as the Bolton chapter of the English Defence League were invited en masse to one taping while last year Jonathan Jennings was given similar treatment to Mitchell in spite the minor inconvenience of him being given a prison sentence for posting antisemitic and Islamophobic comments online and threatening to kill Jeremy Corbyn - which means it's worth mentioning that the Question Time audience being picked by Alison Fuller Pedley who, prior to deleting her Facebook account, shared material from Britain First among many other far right groups

Barking mad idiot Nadine Dorries managed to top her usual level of batshittery by tweeting a video of journalist Ash Sarkar while stating it was Labour candidate Faiza Shaheen - and when this mistake was pointed out to her she didn’t apologise but say she got confused because the two had similar accents, which doesn’t at all sound like she thinks all Asian women look alike - which is clearly the case, given she has not apologised to Sarkar or Shaheen, but did apologise to the BBC

Beating the deadest of dead horses was Chris Quinn as he became the latest person determined to die on the hill where Jack Thompson and Leland Yee died on when he decided that the one thing guaranteed to stop school shootings was for Pennsylvania to introduce a 10% Sin Tax on violent video games - yet at no point in his proposal did he ever suggest that maybe these things called guns might have something to do with America’s school shooting problem

Because saying his Chinese wife was Japanese wasn’t enough proof that Jeremy ...Hunt is a hapless failure as Foreign Secretary, on a visit to Slovenia he described the country as a “Soviet vassal state” - in other words he publicly stated he can’t tell which country was part of the Soviet Union and which country was part of Yugoslavia while in a country that was part of Yugoslavia

Another month another humiliation for Chris Grayling - but this time he really excelled himself by being banned from the port of Calais by French port authorities who’d had enough of his impotent posturing and were happy to slap him with what was, in effect, a diplomatic ASBO

Convicted rapist Bill Cosby is clearly still coming to terms with that guilty verdict he was slapped judging by the statement he released where Cosby howls about how he’s a political prisoner, going so far as to compare himself to Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi, talking conspiratorial gibberish about the judge who passed sentence and the DA who brought charges, and finishing up by saying he has no remorse, because saying you have no remorse for what you were locked up for is always a good look...

Sneering fuckwit Toby Young had one takeaway from the schoolchildren going on strike to protest against climate change, and that takeaway was that if they were going to strike they should do it at the weekend - which makes it sound an awful lot like sneering fuckwit Toby Young doesn’t understand the concept of a strike - although the sneering fuckwit was hardly alone, not when Theresa May dismissed them as “disruptive” and (irony of ironies) “Wasting time” while Daily Mail hatchet-wielder and person who has seen Michael Gove naked Sarah Vine sneered they were taking “an excellent opportunity to avoid doing any work”, soon followed by Andrea Leadsom harrumphing about “truancy” while James Cleverley, Dan Hodges and Christopher Hope all made remarkably similar comments about “bunking off”

Not only is Tom Bower such a joke that his expose of Jeremy Corbyn reveals the shocking revelation of him eating baked beans *dramatic chord* but he then went on Good Morning Britain and referred to Michael Segalov as “a self-hating Jew” which, the last time I checked, sounds uncannily like he discriminated against a Jewish person on the basis of their religion while being broadcast live on national television...which none of the GMB hosts did anything about and I don’t see any of The Independent Group Ltd making so much as a peep about it either

Filibustering enthusiast Christopher Chope once again demonstrated his levels of respect and tolerance for women by deciding to block a vote on laws protecting at risk children from female genital mutilation, a move which drew condemnation from both side of the House of Commons, which as per usual he attempted to deflect by saying he won’t let any Private Members Bill pass without debate - apart from the dozens he let through without debate

At first it appeared that Mark Lewis was continuing his sleazy approach to lawyerly matters of randomly tweeting people to say he was representing them and demanding they post their personal information online - only for it to soon transpire that, no, Lewis was actually acting on behalf of Rachel Riley and Tracy Ann Oberman as they decided that encouraging their Twitter followers to dogpile onto anyone who dares disagree with them is no longer enough, now it's time to make an example of them by dragging them to court while crying to their friends in the press about how they are the ones being bullied and harassed online

According to Jacob Rees Mogg it was...let me double check my notes...right, according to Jacob Rees Mogg there was nothing wrong with the concentration camps used by the British during the Boer War because the number of people who died in them was consistent with the mortality rate in Glasgow at the time. He overlooks the part about the numbers of women and children dying in those camps being much higher than the numbers of women and children in Glasgow, but why quibble about that when his main argument was justifying the use of concentration camps?

In a fit of desperation Brandon Lewis decided to harrumph loudly about Sally Keeble liking a dick pic on Twitter - which only led to people noticing that he didn't have problems when it was Tory MP Andrew Griffiths sent dick pics in their hundreds to his constituents, and that him being restored to the party in order to have Theresa May narrowly win a vote of No Confidence from her own party could only have been signed off by...Brandon Lewis

It appears that a very different version of history was taught at the school Daniel Kawczynski attended compared to that of everyone else educated at the time, judging by his tweet suggesting that Britain did not receive a penny after WWII as there was no Marshall Plan for us...other than the $4bn that the UK received from the Marshall Plan, but that’s not important right now

In a remarkable lack of self-awareness Suzanne Evans bitterly complained about the roaming charges on her phone contract increasing, seemingly unaware that the reason those roaming charges used to be much lower was because of EU legislation - yes, since you asked, that would be the exact same EU that Suzanne Evans was a prominent advocate of leaving because apparently they offer no benefit to the British whatsoever...

Proving that the apple doesn't fall far from the orange-hued tree was Donald Trump Jnr tweeting a photo as he tried to suggest every single woman in Congress (including Nancy Pelosi) was a traitor for not wearing a US flag pin - only to have it pointed out to him that neither was he...

Somebody at THQ Nordic thought it was a brilliant idea to announce an AMA not on Reddit nor Twitter but on 8chan, because the one place any company should be hosting an AMA is on 4chan’s even nastier little brother than has been delisted from Google due to being used to share images of child pornography

Showing they hadn’t read Downsize This! at any point in the last 23 years those fine folks at Activision announced record profits while also laying off 8% of their staff, a reported 800 people, because their record profits somehow didn’t translate into record bonuses so somebody had to pay for it

As it's been a while since Youtube did something harebrained that made things far more complicated for content creators with their latest genius idea is to demonetise channels because of comments that other people made on the video, with them going so far as to demonetise videos of creators who were moderating their comments section on the presumption that dodgy comments might be coming sometime soon

It seems that Ja Rule is having difficulty accepting that the Fyre Festival was a blatant scam arranged by an obvious scammer, because even after two documentaries picked apart just how non-legitimate the entire endeavour was he’s saying he hasn’t given up on the idea, which maybe isn’t the smartest position to take when there’s numerous lawsuits and criminal investigations that happen to have his name on them

Because it appears Bethesda can’t go a month without Fallout 76 being the decrepit goose that keeps shitting on their shoes, they decided to make sure they were responsible for needing yet another change of loafers by banning a player who had amassed over 900 hours in the game for having too much ammunition. Because when your playerbase has nosedived since launch, the one thing you really want to do is ban one of the players whose put a lot of time into the game for reasons that make no sense because anyone playing the game for 900 hours would pick up a hell of a lot of ammo

Don’t worry, folks, it appears that Julia Hartley Brewer has solved all the post-Britait issues in one tweet when she said it took just twenty seconds for her to get across the border between France and Switzerland so everything will be alright. In other words, Julia Hartley Brewer either forgot about or merely omitted that Switzerland is part of the Schengen agreement, she was travelling between France and Switzerland rather than the UK and any EU country, and that the UK currently being part of the EU is the reason her border check took so little time and that wouldn’t be the case if she was traveling on, say, a Latvian passport

Hentai enthusiast thewisemankey, otherwise known as tedious shitposter Gregory Prytyka Jr. (and no doubt several other Disqus pseudonyms) was so gracious enough to boost my analytics in an effort to prove how he was definitely not thin-skinned and incapable of taking responsibility when his shitposting backfires...which demonstrated he’s thin-skinned and unable to take responsibility when his shitposting backfires, and considering said shitposting was last December the fact he’s still bawling about it in February really isn’t normal behaviour, is it?

And, of course, getting remarkably triggered by Spike Lee suggesting people vote with love not hate in the 2020 election is Donald Trump and his charming habit of being more concerned for the wellbeing of one of his supporters than the journalist his supporter happened to be assaulting at the time, who also believes he can steal a march on China by demanding American businesses adopt non-existent 6G technology now

#dickheads of the month

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