#man face nugget
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first post ever and its a shitpost
#brainrot yaoi#gegagedigedagedago#nugget#omega nugget#max design pro#max#man face nugget#cowboy nugget#My cowboy <33#(not in a gay way tho)#shitpost
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Steward ref is complete I can finally kill mys- wait what do you mean I still need to make like 6 more refs before artfight starts. Uh oh.
#keese draws#oc art#oc#on the bright side steward should have been the hardest one to make this sorta ref for so in theory it’s only uphill from here#for the record the main reason I wasn’t sure if I’d even finish this is because I well. don’t rly draw steward perfectly forward facing#even that one time I drew everyone else forward facing she was still at a slight angle#so forward facing steward just. feels a bit off model to me so I wasn’t sure if I wanted that as her ref#but these aren’t meant to be strict refs so I finished it#but this does mean that I am solidifying that I have to do them for the others too. sigh.#meiro and raiden are the next priority targets and the only other mandatory ones#after that Id like to hit the side party and then if I feel like it I’ll do lace and demonstrator#those two are just lower on the priority list because I don’t know which timeframe I’d rather ppl draw them in#now the big flaw with the side party ref plan is that two of them haven’t been design yet but erm. looks away.#I might end up prioritizing designing justa first#as in before I do the rest of the refs#eiji also needs designing but she’s not a favorite child so yknow#I won’t be too heartbroken if she doesn’t get designed in time for artfight#but yeah raiden ref is going to be a bitch to make myself draw I have raiden burnout still man#meiro should hopefully not be too bad? I’m better at drawing her than I used to be I think#I also rly need to do more song hunting for the cast the playlist isn’t comically tiny anymore but my nugget playlist surpassed 40 recently#and it’s making me feel bad for them
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i just know that if tatum or luka or truly any young star not named anthony edwards had played anywhere near as inconsistently as he has this post season while under-performing in two straight conference finals they would be getting ripped to shreds in the press and ant's coverage is still /glowing/
#excess nba rambles#honestly even hali doing the choke has mostly been met positively while tatum got destroyed for his post finals homages#i get that hali did 1 in a specific moment when he has a relationship with reggie but idk i still feel like tatum would get ripped for it#skip bayless tried to rip hali for it but like is there a more irrelevant man alive? who fucking cares what he says#if luka publically said that he didnt do well in a series because he got “tired” we would never hear the end of it#to some degree last year he got a pass because he wasnt expected to beat the nuggets but this year he wiggled past a lopsided lakers team#and a half dead warriors squad while playing pretty rough in both series#just to absolutely fold at the first sign of adversity#idk i think ant is really talented but i dont really understand what he's done to get all the MJ comps + face of the league push#i feel like 2 years ago ja was getting this “when is he gonna be the face of the league + best in the world” push#and before that it was zion#like i do think that the media is desperate for an american they can push#BUT they dont pick players like tatum or further back booker to push cause they dont /look/ like MJ or bron or shaq or kobe#idk i dont wanna overstep on this i am white but i just feel like the mixed american stars dont get the same push and its weird#heck currys main narrative being negative didnt really stop until ring 4#this is mostly a complaint about tatums press coverage but tbh theres a bunch of general annoyance in there#the narrative on tatum + curry + booker + now hali is all about how corny and not superstar-coded they are#which is defs not how ant + ja + zion are talked about#are there big american stars that dont fit this pattern that i'm forgetting?
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Had a dream where mom was alive and well and it was just the two of us again.
We were traveling along California, retracing all the places we once lived. As an adult, I haven’t been to half the places we lived together. It was fun and she was her old self, all smiles and crude jokes and laughter. I got to show her my home and my new car and the cats and things were good.
When she asked me to go on this venture with her I said yes. We had taken in some dogs that we were going to try and socialize before finding good homes for them and for some reason that meant moving to a new place. It was a new complex of condos but they were so small they could only fit a single person. That didn’t stop us from trying to fit as much as we could.
I think that was the breaking point for the dream.
When we were younger, it didn’t bother me that we had too much stuff for too small a place. It didn’t bother me that it was all hers. But I started wondering about storage and where we were gonna put my stuff. What about my bed and my shoes and my tv?
And so I asked her to make room for my shoes too; she knows the drill. And she laughed and made room and moved onto something else. I made a passing comment about how I needed to be there for someone’s surgery like I wasn’t there for hers. She said of course I would be there for hers. She had one later today and I was going to be there because I was her best friend.
Only for me to say, “No, mom. You aren’t having a surgery today. You’re already dead.”
And it wasn’t the dead thing she took issue with. It was that I called her mom. It was that she couldn’t remember being a mom. My mom. So I asked her to look at me and tell me she didn’t see the culmination of her love in my face.
#x:b#I was going to try and make this quasi poetic but then I started bawling#happy May everyone.#god. Mother’s Day is gonna suck. her birthday is gonna suck.#I’m tempted to call off for the day but I need groceries and if I’m doing that I might as well go in#it’s only an hour anyway#but fuck man. it was who she used to be.#before *** or ****. before the drugs. before we lost the house.#it was the mom I could count on.#I miss her more than words can ever say#when nugget woke me up to kiss me goodbye for a moment it was her face I saw
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hand to god the funniest part of working in a middle school is the drug psas made by 7th graders
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just a normal warmup of a chicken nugget…
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For @khazrablood - here are some cats to make you smile. Cobbler hasn't been started yet.
(Peach cobbler to be exact)
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#mcdonalds#kfc#kentucky fried chicken#tiktok#the difference between ads#nyan cat#shaka shaka fries#squid game#i've played these games before#low taper fade#ishowspeed#cotton eye joe nugget#roblox chicken nugget#gegagedigedagedago#roblox man face#memes
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second part of this
Just thinking about how boyfriend!Simon doesn't like to go out, yet somehow ended up dating a party gal. When you go out, he usually watches the telly, orders delivery (for you too, in case you get home hungry) and waits for the phone to ring. Tonight was no different.
It was 3 a.m. when your best friend called him from the club, slurring their words from the buzz. He gets the assignment: making sure you get home safe. The couch creaked as he got up to get his jacket and the keys of his truck, but he forgot his mask.
Simon hates clubs, he doesn't get why you like them so much. Loud music, blinding strobe lights and, ridiculously expensive drinks. He finally spots your group in the sea of drunk people. You were laughing uncontrollably at some dumb joke your friend told you.
“It's time to go home, doll,” Simon tells you, putting his jacket over your shoulder.
You squint your eyes, scanning his characteristic strong boy, unruly blonde hair, and his big hands. You have never seen this handsome man before.
“Nooo, nooo… I have a boyfriend.” You push off his hand as he tries to help you get up from your seat.
“Luv, I'm your boyfriend,” Simon chuckles, reaching for your arm again, but you dodge him.
“Nooo, nooo… My boyfriend is a tough, big guy in a mask that will fucking kill ya if he sees ya flirting with me,” you slurred.
“Doll-”
“Listen, listen… Listeeen! I'm honored, but I LOVE my boyfriend very much, and I would never, you listening? I WOULD NEVER cheat on him.” You warned Simon. “I doubt someone could fuck me better than him anyway…”
Simon listened, wide-eyed, realizing you drank so much that you didn't have a filter anymore. But still, it was cute to see you act so loyal. A real ride or die. He should take you home, but… he decided to have some fun.
“Oh, really? What if I can offer you something much better?” He leaned down, whispering into your ear, his voice barely audible over the music.
“Much better than sex with my boyfriend? Ha! I doubt it!” You tried to push him away, but Simon pulled you closer by the waist.
“What about a McSpicy with a side of nuggets that is waiting for you at home?” Your boyfriend purred on your ear again.
“How did you know I like…?” You pulled away slightly to focus better on his face, especially his deep brown eyes. That's when everything clicked.
“Simon!” You squealed excited to see him again, throwing your arms around him.
“Took you long enough.” Simon chuckled before kissing the top of your head.
Inspired by a comment from: @cod-indulgences
Masterlist.
#here we go again i guess#simon riley imagine#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#call of duty ghost#ghost#ghost cod#ghost fanfiction#simon x reader#simon riley#ghost call of duty#ghost riley#simon riley cod
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Trash Novel Chronicles: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Get Married || Deuce Spade
You get isekai’d into a garbage novel as the villain, so you take it as a sign that morality is optional now. So, you do what any reasonable person would: you set the world on fire (metaphorically… mostly) and somehow bag your knight, Deuce Spade in the process.
Series Masterlist
You sat in absolute silence. Reeling. Processing. Dissociating. The book lay in your lap like the aftermath of a terrible crime, and you were its sole witness.
This was it. This was the literary phenomenon your friends had been screaming about. The novel they had sworn up and down was “life-changing,” “revolutionary,” and “the best thing since sliced bread.”
They had lied.
You had just spent the last twelve hours raw-dogging the most deranged piece of fiction known to mankind.
Your soul had been ripped from your body. Your IQ points had been forcefully extracted like an amateur lobotomy. You were but a husk of your former self.
A single thought floated through your shattered psyche:
I will never know peace again.
With shaking hands, you closed the book. The sound was deafening. A death knell for your last two remaining brain cells.
And then, like a corpse freshly risen from the grave, you stood.
This could not go unanswered. This could not go unpunished.
Your friends would explain themselves.
You stomped through the dark streets like a vengeful ghost, guided by pure, unfiltered spite. It was 1 AM. Civilization had long since gone to sleep. You didn’t care.
Your mind replayed the sheer buffoonery you had just endured.
The heroine: an overpowered dumbass with the survival instincts of a chicken nugget. She was supposed to be a Saintess, and yet she spent 80% of the book actively making things worse. Entire villages burned because of her holy powers, and she had the audacity to be shocked every time it happened.
"Oh noooo, I accidentally summoned divine lightning again!"
AGAIN. AGAIN.
Then there was the Crown Prince, the supposed male lead. A menace. A plague upon this world. He was in love with the villain but too emotionally constipated to deal with it, so instead, he had chosen the path of delusion. This man pursued the heroine not out of love, but out of sheer desperation
"If I can’t be happy, then no one can."
That was his entire character arc.
And let’s not forget the second male lead. The butler. The SPY. He was somehow working for both the villain and the heroine at the same time while also being madly in love with the heroine for reasons that science could not explain. This man switched allegiances like he was flipping through TV channels. You were convinced he woke up every morning and rolled a die to decide whose side he was on that day.
And then. The villain.
Your one hope. Your one saving grace.
A man who started the book as a calculating mastermind and ended it as a broken shell of a human being. You did not blame him. You were right there with him.
By the final chapter, he had stopped trying to kill the heroine. He had stopped plotting world domination. He had stopped everything.
He just sat there, staring into the abyss, wondering how his life had gone so, so wrong.
And honestly? Mood.
You reached your friend’s house.
You did not knock. No. That was for reasonable, rational people. You grabbed a rock from their garden and hurled it at their window with the force of a person unhinged.
A light flicked on. Your friend’s groggy, half-conscious face appeared.
“Holy shit, what the hell—”
“EXPLAIN YOURSELF.”
You pointed an accusatory finger at them, your eyes wild, your soul fractured beyond repair.
“Explain WHAT?” They blinked, rubbing their eyes.
“The book.” Your voice was hollow. “The—thing—you made me read.”
Their face lit up. “OH MY GOD, YOU FINISHED IT?? WASN’T IT AMAZING??”
You had never before in your life wanted to commit a homicide.
You took a deep breath. A slow, shuddering inhale.
Then, in the most broken, haunted voice imaginable, you whispered:
“…I need you to pay for my therapy.”
You stomped down the street, vibrating with pure, unfiltered rage. That book—that war crime bound in paper—had single-handedly destroyed your brain cells, faith in storytelling, and will to live. You couldn’t let your other friend get away with this. No, you were going to kick down their door too and demand compensation for the IQ points you lost.
Unfortunately, fate had other plans.
Just as you turned the corner, a man—no, a menace to society—came hurtling toward you at ungodly speeds.
On a unicycle.
Juggling three live pigeons and a tray of scalding hot coffees.
His face was locked in an expression of sheer, manic concentration, like a circus performer who had just realized—mid-act—that he had made a terrible career choice.
You had exactly 0.2 seconds to process this before he crashed into you at full force.
The pigeons exploded into the sky, shrieking like war victims.
The coffee—boiling, lava-hot coffee—doused you from head to toe, scalding your skin and soul simultaneously.
And the unicycle? Oh. The unicycle was the true villain here.
Because as you staggered back, reeling from the assault on your dignity, the wheel rolled perfectly under your foot.
And then—
You flipped.
Like a medieval peasant being yeeted off a catapult.
You did a full midair somersault, knocked over a trash can, ricocheted off a parked bicycle, and crashed directly through the window of a sketchy pawn shop, where you landed face-first into a display of cursed porcelain dolls.
Your last conscious thought before darkness took you?
This is less painful than reading that book.
At first, you thought it was a dream.
Someone was shaking you. Like, aggressively. Like a demonic chihuahua trying to alert its owner to impending doom.
"Five more minutes," you groaned, swatting at the offending hands.
But then your barely-functioning brain remembered something very important.
You lived alone.
Unless the dust bunnies under your bed had finally formed a rebellion and achieved sentience, nobody should be waking you up.
Your eyes snapped open.
A person.
A man, actually. A very serious-looking man in full medieval armor, staring at you like he was expecting you to start speaking in tongues.
You blinked.
He blinked back.
Your first thought: Wow, the Ren Faire is getting really immersive these days.
Your second thought: WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE.
Your hands flew to your face—your very much not-your-face face. Your voice, when you gasped, wasn’t your voice. The tailored nobleman’s coat draped over your body? Not your clothes. The ornate bedroom you were in? Definitely not your apartment, where your furniture was 70% discount IKEA and 30% “found on the sidewalk.”
Dread settled in your stomach like a badly microwaved burrito.
Slowly, with the growing horror of a person realizing they've walked into a live horror movie, you turned toward the giant antique mirror across the room.
And fuck your life, you recognized the face staring back at you.
It was him.
The villain.
The villain from that absolute garbage fire of a novel.
You whipped around so fast you almost took yourself out on your own cape.
"You," you pointed at the knight, brain desperately catching up to reality. "What happened?!"
The knight—Deuce Spade, if you remembered correctly—winced.
"Uh," he started, rubbing the back of his neck, "the Crown Prince tried to lean on your shoulder, but, uh… tripped and accidentally drop-kicked you across the ballroom."
Silence.
Absolute, dead silence.
Your eye twitched.
"…What."
You almost died because some love-obsessed dumbass with main character syndrome missed your shoulder???
Your soul nearly left your body, and it wasn’t even because of an assassination attempt, a duel, or a curse—but because the male lead had the motor coordination of a newborn giraffe?!
Your knees buckled. Deuce lunged forward like he thought you were about to die again.
Honestly? Not off the table.
Fine.
Fine.
If the world wanted you to be the villain, then so be it. Who were you to deny fate when it had already drop-kicked you into this absurd, brain-cell-destroying mess of a novel?
Because that was the only way to describe your new reality—an unhinged disasterpiece where the male lead had the grace of a giraffe on roller skates, the heroine had the problem-solving skills of a concussed pigeon, and the villain—you—was doomed to suffer through all of it.
At first, you'd been horrified. Who wouldn't be? One moment, you're in your normal, rational world, and the next, you're waking up as the antagonistic nobleman of a bargain-bin romance novel. The kind of villain who existed solely to sneer in the background while the male lead juggled his misplaced affections and the heroine flailed through life like a lost duckling.
And now?
Now, you were done.
If this world wanted a villain, then you would give them a villain.
You had wealth. Enough to singlehandedly disrupt the economy if you felt like it. And honestly? You were tempted. Imagine the chaos. The sheer financial devastation. Maybe you’d buy every bakery in the capital just to make sure the male lead could never have a romantic “we bumped into each other while buying bread” moment with you. Not on your watch.
You had power. Both in social standing and in actual, real-life magic. The kind that could level mountains, summon storms, or—more importantly—discreetly trip the male lead every time he tried to monologue. And who were you, really, if you didn’t abuse that privilege just a little?
And, most importantly, you had a loyal knight.
Deuce Spade. Unreasonably devoted, painfully adorable, and more earnest than a golden retriever at a job interview. The kind of guy who would probably cry if you gave him a gold star for effort. It was almost enough to make you feel bad about your impending villain arc. Almost. But hey, if you were going to be the villain, at least you had one (1) extremely dedicated dumbass on your side.
So.
Why not cause some chaos?
Why not live your best, most dramatic villain life?
You could weaponize rumors so ridiculous that even the nobility wouldn’t know what to believe anymore. “Oh, the male lead? I heard he serenades his pet goldfish every night.” “The heroine? Trained in mortal combat by a secret society of warrior nuns.” “Me? Oh, I eat diamonds for breakfast and only cry during perfectly aesthetic thunderstorms.”
You could throw lavish, over-the-top parties where instead of dancing, people had to duel for your amusement. Invitation only. Dress code: Regal Menace.
You could buy every single black horse in the kingdom just to ensure that only you could have a proper dramatic villain entrance. What would the male lead ride? A mule? A cow? His own sense of self-importance? You’d pay money to see it.
If you were going to be stuck in this nonsense world, then you were going to make sure it regretted ever summoning you.
The original villain was a man of principles.
And those principles included:
• Never lowering himself to the chaotic cesspool of idiocy that was the crown prince and his tragically uncoordinated heroine.
• Never attending frivolous social gatherings, especially ones that involved said heroine falling into desserts face-first every five minutes.
• Never acknowledging the crown prince’s deeply repressed and painfully obvious feelings for him.
But you? Oh, you were going.
Why decline when you could make things so much worse? Why ignore a golden opportunity for chaos when you could embrace your inner agent of destruction and ruin someone’s day?
So, with Deuce Spade in tow, you marched into battle.
And the game began immediately.
The second you sat down, the crown prince shoved a cup of tea toward you.
You blinked at it. Then at him.
He looked too casual. Too composed. Like he hadn’t been hovering near the tea table for the last five minutes, perfecting a custom blend like a barista going for his final promotion.
Oh, this was rich.
“Oh,” you said, already locked and loaded. “I don’t like tea.”
The prince, who had definitely memorized your preferences in secret, froze.
“Give it to the heroine,” you added, voice laced with malicious delight.
There was a moment of pure, unfiltered suffering.
He recoiled. He made a noise. The tea remained exactly where it was.
And then, after one (1) full-body existential crisis, he stood up, walked away—
And returned.
With coffee.
Which was exactly how you liked it.
“Oh,” you said, even sweeter. “You really didn’t have to.”
“I didn’t,” the prince snapped, gripping the cup with white-knuckled desperation. “I was just—there was extra.”
Sure.
Deuce, the most bafflingly wholesome person present, leaned in conspiratorially.
“You know,” he whispered, “I think he likes you.”
You turned and stared at him.
It was a look that said: Deuce. Buddy. Companion. Do you have even a single brain cell dedicated to social awareness?
“You don’t say,” you muttered, astounded.
“Yeah,” Deuce nodded. “You should put him out of his misery.”
You considered it.
You truly, deeply, wholeheartedly considered it.
And then you did the exact opposite.
With all the deliberate grace of a seasoned actor, you picked up a fork, cut a tiny, delicate piece of cake, and hand-fed it to Deuce.
With the most lovesick expression you could summon.
Deuce, completely missing the emotional warfare in progress, chewed thoughtfully. “Oh, it’s good.”
The crown prince dropped his cup.
The sound was deafening.
He stood up so fast his chair screeched.
And then he stormed away like a scorned Victorian widow.
Checkmate.
The night was young, the chandeliers were gleaming, and the ballroom floor was filled with nobles pretending they liked each other. The air was thick with the scent of expensive perfume, political marriages, and deep-seated dissatisfaction.
And you? You were bored.
So, naturally, you decided to ruin some engagements.
You adjusted your cuffs, took a sip of your (hopefully not poisoned) champagne, and set your sights on your first target.
Victim #1: Some Poor Fool with a Fiancée and No Survival Instincts.
He was standing beside his beloved, smiling like a man who had never known fear. So you approached him, flashing your most dazzling smile.
“You know,” you said, leaning in just a bit too close, “I always thought you’d end up with someone a little… taller.”
His fiancée, standing right there, gasped.
The surrounding nobles gasped.
He gulped. “W-What?”
You tilted your head, studying him with faux admiration. “It’s just—you have the posture of a man who could sweep someone off their feet. It’s tragic that you’ll only ever lift one person.”
His fiancée immediately looked down at her shoes like she’d just realized she was, in fact, shorter than him.
Engagement status: Cracking.
Victim #2: A Woman Who Was Already Looking for a Way Out.
She was sipping champagne and ignoring her fiancé, which meant she was exactly the kind of person who would enjoy a little trouble.
“Lady,” you greeted smoothly, plucking the glass from her fingers and taking a sip. “You have the eyes of a woman who’s tired of monogamy.”
Her fiancé, standing beside her, choked on his drink.
She laughed.
“You’re terrible,” she purred.
Her fiancé, pale, tried to recover. “H-Haha, what a joke—”
“It’s a shame,” you interrupted, brushing a nonexistent speck off her sleeve. “If things were different, perhaps I’d be the one at your side.”
Her fiancé turned a frightening shade of red.
She sighed dreamily.
Engagement status: Shattered.
Victim #3: A Man Who Looked Too Loyal to Be Swayed.
He stood with his hand in his beloved’s, looking like he’d rather die than betray them. But that had never stopped you before.
You smiled. “It’s rare to see a man so committed.”
His fiancée beamed.
You reached out, lightly tracing your fingers over his palm. “A hand like this… was meant to hold many hearts.”
His fiancée’s smile disappeared as the man leaned into your touch.
The crowd held their breath.
And then.
His fiancée fainted.
Engagement status: Annihilated.
At this point, Deuce—your ever-loyal, increasingly horrified knight—had begun to sweat profusely in the corner.
You waved at him.
He did not wave back.
But just as you were about to go for your fourth victim, you noticed something strange.
The prince—the male lead—was staring at you.
And not in the way one should stare at their supposed rival.
No.
He was staring at you like a man who didn’t understand his own feelings and was handling it terribly.
Deuce noticed before you did.
“Oh no,” he muttered. “Oh no no no.”
The prince stalked toward you, his jaw clenched, his eyes burning with repressed emotion and possibly indigestion.
“You,” he said, pointing an accusatory finger at you.
You raised a brow. “Me?”
“You cannot go around—” He waved his hands wildly, struggling to find the words. “—charming people!”
You blinked, feigning innocence. “Oh? Why not?”
He twitched.
A noble gasped. “Is he… jealous?”
The crowd whispered.
The prince turned red.
Deuce, watching from the sidelines, looked like he wanted to fling himself off the nearest balcony.
Then, just as the tension reached its peak—
“MARRY ME!”
The man whose fiancée just fainted, caught up in the whirlwind of drama and avant-garde societal rebellion, had dropped to one knee and grabbed your hand.
Silence.
Deuce inhaled so sharply he nearly passed out.
The prince’s eye twitched.
And you?
You smiled.
But before you could say yes, no, or something that would make the situation worse, Deuce lunged forward, grabbed your wrist, and hauled you away.
“YOU CAN’T JUST GO AROUND SEDUCING ENGAGED PEOPLE!” he hissed, physically dragging you out of the ballroom.
“Why not?” you grinned. “The nobles love it.”
“I—BECAUSE IT’S WRONG?!”
You hummed, thoughtful. Then, because you were a terrible person, you tilted your head, looked him dead in the eyes, and said:
“You’re kind of cute when you’re flustered.”
Deuce short-circuited.
The prince looked ready to challenge the concept of marriage itself.
And the night was, truly, a resounding success.
Deuce was the perfect knight.
Reliable. Strong. Steadfast. He never faltered in his duties, never hesitated to follow your orders, and—most importantly—he never questioned your absolutely necessary purchases, even when they were, objectively, not necessary at all.
Which was precisely why he was the perfect person to accompany you to the market.
The morning sun hung high in the sky, warming the cobbled streets as merchants called out their wares, their voices blending into a lively symphony of haggling, bartering, and excited chatter. The scent of freshly baked bread and spiced apples drifted through the air, wrapping around you like an old, familiar comfort.
And there was Deuce, ever-dutiful, ever-loyal, ever-patient.
The bags he carried had long since doubled in number, hanging from his arms like trophies of your victorious shopping spree. He bore the burden without complaint, as expected of a knight sworn to your service, though he did glance down at the latest purchase—a third bag of sweets—and furrowed his brow.
“That’s the third bag of sweets you’ve bought.”
You shot him a look, hugging your ill-gotten gains like a dragon hoarding gold.
“And?”
He sighed. “Nothing, I guess.”
Good. That was the correct answer. This was a judgment-free zone.
Everything was going well. The two of you meandered through the market at an unhurried pace, pausing to browse through silks, admire trinkets, and—most importantly—glare at the latest portrait of the crown prince displayed in the town square. It was a routine you had come to enjoy, something almost peaceful in its predictability.
And then—
Deuce stopped.
It wasn’t a gradual pause. It was sudden, abrupt, a full-body halt that nearly sent you crashing into his back.
“Hey—?” you started, but he was already moving, already reaching for his own coin pouch, already stepping toward—
A flower stall?
You blinked, watching as he carefully selected a single bloom, one of the freshest ones in the bunch, its petals full and vibrant. You stood there, bewildered, as he handed over a few coins, nodding his thanks to the merchant.
And then—
Before you could even begin to process what was happening—
He turned and held the flower out to you.
The world tilted.
You stared.
At the flower, at Deuce, at his outstretched hand.
At the way he looked at you, open and earnest and so painfully sincere that you felt something deep in your chest twist.
“…Why?” you asked, voice caught somewhere between confused and breathless.
Deuce tilted his head slightly, a sheepish sort of smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I dunno,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just—thought you’d like it?”
Thought you’d like it.
That was it. That was the entire reason.
Not out of duty, not because he had to, not because of some unspoken obligation—but because he wanted to.
Because he saw something and thought of you.
Your fingers curled around the stem almost too tightly, as if the delicate flower might vanish if you weren’t careful. The petals were impossibly soft beneath your touch, fragile and fleeting, and your heart did something suspicious in your chest.
Deuce had already turned away, already resumed walking, already moved on as if he hadn’t just unknowingly unraveled you.
And you—
You lingered a second longer, staring at the flower in your hand, your face growing entirely too warm under the summer sun.
Then, swallowing against the sudden tightness in your throat, you hurried after him, grateful that he wasn’t looking back to see the ridiculous, helpless smile you absolutely couldn’t fight off.
It started with a passing insult. Something entirely unoriginal, really—one of those tired, rehashed attempts at wit that nobles regurgitated when they had nothing better to do.
You weren’t even offended.
But you were bored.
So, naturally, you smirked, sighed dramatically, and placed a hand over your heart.
“Wow,” you mused, voice dripping with mock despair. “If only I had a loyal knight to defend me. Sigh.”
Deuce didn’t hesitate.
He didn’t even pause to think.
He just whipped around, locked eyes with the offender, and threw down the most aggressive glove slap in recorded history.
“DUEL ME.”
The noble flinched. The entire gathering flinched.
Even you, for a moment, wondered if you’d just summoned an unstoppable force of nature.
Deuce stood there, rigid with unwavering loyalty and violent intent, hand hovering over the hilt of his sword like an Old West gunslinger about to end someone's bloodline.
The noble stammered, looking around as if waiting for someone to intervene. No one did. The nobles had all collectively agreed to stand back and watch this disaster unfold.
You, however, recognized an issue.
“Deuce,” you started carefully. “Buddy. Pal.” You placed a hand on his shoulder, a gesture meant to calm him down.
It did not calm him down.
If anything, his conviction doubled.
“You don’t actually have to fight for my honor—”
“Yes, I do.”
He didn’t blink.
You blinked for him.
The realization sank in with all the subtlety of a grand piano dropping from a three-story window:
Deuce would throw hands for you. Without question. Without hesitation. It was pure muscle memory at this point.
You had too much power.
The nobles were whispering.
The prince was watching.
Some fool in the back had already started placing bets.
And Deuce?
Deuce was ready to kill a man.
“Okay,” you muttered under your breath, “I may have created a monster.”
The noble, sweating profusely, waved his hands. “I—I think there’s been a misunderstanding—”
“There’s no misunderstanding,” Deuce gritted out, stepping forward. “You insulted them. Now, we settle this properly.”
By all accounts, Deuce had just challenged a man to medieval combat over you.
It should have been a simple duel.
Just a normal, everyday case of your overly loyal knight throwing hands because someone vaguely insulted you.
A Tuesday, basically.
And yet, somehow, by the time you arrived at the dueling grounds, it had turned into a full-blown public event.
The stands were packed. Nobles gossiped in hushed whispers. Vendors had set up food stalls. Some particularly enterprising soul was selling commemorative handkerchiefs embroidered with Deuce’s face.
And standing right in the middle of this absolute circus were Riddle and Ace—your reinforcements, arriving at maximum velocity to make your life more interesting and significantly more stressful.
Riddle’s expression alone had the same effect as a guillotine blade. His hands were clenched into fists, his face a vibrant shade of red, and the moment his sharp, judgmental gaze landed on you, you had the distinct feeling that your days were numbered.
Ace, meanwhile, looked like he was having the time of his life.
“You. Absolute. Menace.” Riddle bit out, his words dripping with disappointment and barely-contained rage. “I leave you alone for one week and suddenly you’re challenging people to duels, seducing engaged nobles, and destabilizing the entire social order?!”
“Okay, first of all, I didn’t challenge anyone. That was Deuce.”
“Because you provoked it.”
“Debatable.”
“No, it’s not!”
Ace clapped a hand on your shoulder, beaming. “Don’t listen to him. In fact, I’ll actually pay you to keep this up.”
Riddle’s head snapped toward him, betrayal written across his features. “You’re paying them?! You’re encouraging this?!”
“Duh?” Ace grinned. “I’ve never had this much fun in my entire life. If it means watching them do more insane things, I’ll move the entire city to accommodate them.”
Riddle made a noise that was somewhere between a strangled scream and an impending aneurysm.
You, feeling very smug, turned back to the main event.
Deuce, your knight, your absurdly loyal human wrecking ball, was already standing in the ring, eyes burning with righteous fury.
The poor noble who insulted you was sweating bullets.
The duel started.
The duel lasted five minutes.
The duel ended spectacularly.
Deuce dismantled the guy so thoroughly, so efficiently, that entire bloodlines were probably questioning their place in the universe.
And then, with a smoothness you had not thought possible, Deuce turned, knelt before you, and bowed his head in silent, knightly devotion.
Which was horribly unfair.
Because, up until this moment, you had been so certain that nothing in this world could ever make you weak in the knees.
But this?
This was a problem.
Because the combination of Deuce being stupidly strong, stupidly devoted, and now stupidly attractive in the aftermath of his absolute annihilation of a noble in your name was doing something deeply unsettling to your brain chemistry.
You, a seasoned chaos gremlin, had not been prepared for the sheer level of attractiveness that came from watching Deuce absolutely demolish a man in your honor and then kneel like you were some kind of divine ruler.
And absolutely no one in this arena could be allowed to witness that.
Which is why you did the only logical thing—
You grabbed Deuce by the collar and dragged him the hell out of there.
“We’re leaving.”
Deuce, stumbling after you, genuinely confused: “Wait—? But—?”
“No questions.”
Behind you, Ace hooted.
Riddle yelled something about propriety
The crowd was whispering in scandalized awe.
And the noble who insulted you?
He was probably questioning every life choice that led him to this moment.
Congratulations.
You had once again caused a spectacle.
You had always known that your butler—the tall, brooding, vaguely tragic second male lead—was spying on you.
You just hadn’t expected him to be this bad at it.
At first, you thought he was just terrible at being subtle. The way he lurked behind obvious cover, like a potted plant that was two sizes too small for him, was almost insultingly blatant.
But then, after watching him trip over his own feet and drop his little spy notebook in front of you, you had a stunning realization:
He wasn’t just bad at this.
He was disastrous.
And you—being the responsible, morally upstanding villain that you were—decided that it was your duty to take full advantage of this situation.
So when he inevitably got caught, you gaslit the absolute hell out of him.
“You failed the test,” you sighed, shaking your head with deep, world-weary disappointment.
He froze. “Test?”
“Yes, a test,” you said, folding your arms. “Did you seriously think I wouldn’t notice one of my own subordinates spying on me?”
He blinked. “I—I don't work for the heroine.”
You smiled dangerously. “Don't you?”
The silence that followed was long, painful, and deeply existential.
“…I don't?,” he said, but there was now a distinct lack of confidence behind his words.
Deuce, who had been standing off to the side, vehemently disagreed with everything that was happening.
“You knew about this?” he asked, looking at you like you were a criminal mastermind unveiling your latest scheme.
You ignored him.
Instead, you rested a hand on the butler’s shoulder, offering him a kind, understanding smile.
“Since you are so clearly loyal to me,” you said, gently, “I’d like you to deliver a very special report to the heroine.”
Deuce let out an exhausted groan.
The butler stared at you warily. “…What kind of report?”
“Oh, you know,” you mused, smirking. “Just a few details about my daily routine. The way I conduct myself in my estate. My methods for staying eternally youthful.”
The butler squinted.
“What do you mean, eternally youthful?”
You grinned.

The heroine stood in your ballroom, pointing an accusing, trembling finger at you.
“You’re a witch.”
You grinned.
Then you turned to your butler—who looked increasingly uncomfortable—and hummed, “I see you did your job well.”
Deuce pinched the bridge of his nose. “What did you make him tell her?”
The heroine narrowed her eyes at you, vibrating with righteous fury.
“You—you bathe in your servants’ tears to stay youthful!”
You tilted your head.
“That’s an odd way to phrase ‘providing an excellent workplace with fair wages and health benefits,’ but okay.”
The heroine was not having it.
“And—and you drink phoenix blood to maintain your strength!”
“Well, now, that’s true,” you admitted. “It pairs nicely with a dry red.”
The heroine let out a horrified gasp.
Deuce stared at you like you had personally betrayed him. “You made him tell her you drink what?!”
“I was curious to see how far he’d go.”
The butler, now pale and visibly sweating, looked like he had experienced a crisis of faith during his conversation with the heroine.
And when she reached the final, most egregious offense, he seemed to finally, fully break.
“…And I was told,” the heroine whispered, voice trembling, “that you—” she took a deep breath “—have personally seduced your own knight, corrupting him with your villainous ways.”
You glanced at Deuce.
Deuce turned bright red. “What did you tell her?!”
Your butler, who had finally reached his limit, just turned on his heel and walked out of the room.
“I quit,” he muttered.
Success.

You had been accused of many things since you woke up in this absolute joke of a world as the villain.
Corruption? Sure.
Scandal? Naturally.
Inducing moral panic in the aristocracy because you decided to flirt with engaged people at a ball? Absolutely.
But today was new.
Today, you had apparently brainwashed Deuce Spade into a life of crime.
"You’ve brainwashed him!"
The heroine’s voice rang out across the royal gathering, loud and full of self-righteous fury, as if she had just caught you mid-scheme, cackling over a bubbling cauldron, weaving a spell to turn Deuce into a mindless delinquent henchman.
You, who had been mid-sip of your expensive champagne, slowly lowered the glass.
Deuce, who had been standing beside you like a human wall of pure knightly devotion, blinked in further confusion.
The heroine took a dramatic step forward, looking at him with heartfelt sadness, like she expected him to suddenly start frothing at the mouth and looting everyone in your name.
“Sir Deuce,” she said, voice trembling with emotion, “It’s not too late. I can save you.”
Deuce tilted his head, utterly lost. “Save me from what?”
“From this!” She gestured wildly at you, as if you were some demonic manifestation of lawlessness, corrupting poor, innocent knights into a life of wanton villainy and casual public indecency.
The male lead, who had been hanging around in the background like a disgruntled ex, suddenly perked up at this. “Wait, are you saying we can steal Deuce?”
“Not steal,” the heroine corrected, with the solemnity of a saint bestowing divine mercy upon a lost soul. "Rescue."
And then, in a stunning display of completely unfounded confidence, she pulled out a golden envelope and extended it toward Deuce.
“A direct invitation,” she declared, eyes shining, “to serve under His Highness.”
There was a deafening silence.
Then—
“No.”
The refusal was instant.
No hesitation.
Not even a single second of consideration.
The heroine’s jaw practically dislocated.
The male lead looked personally victimized.
Ace, who had been standing off to the side with Riddle, slowly turned to face him, nudging him with his elbow before whispering something so profoundly stupid that Riddle physically winced.
Then, as if processing a truth he had been avoiding all this time, Riddle sighed, closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose.
Ace, meanwhile, had the absolute audacity to look like he was having the time of his life.
The heroine, still struggling to process this complete failure, managed to find her voice again.
“I—I don’t understand.” She looked between you and Deuce, visibly distressed. “Why? Why would you refuse?”
Deuce gave her the most straightforward, obvious look in existence.
“I don't want to.”
The heroine gasped.
The male lead looked like he had been personally slapped.
Ace, meanwhile, had the absolute gall to let out a quiet, knowing cackle, like he had figured out the ending of a dramatic novel before the characters did.
“I fear he’s too far gone,” the heroine whispered, mourning the loss of Deuce Spade as if he had already perished.
You, meanwhile, had been too busy enjoying the absolute disaster unfolding in front of you to process what just happened.
Not until much later, when the two of you were walking back from the gathering, and you finally turned to him with a frown.
“Wait,” you said, still trying to wrap your head around it, “Why didn’t you take the offer?”
Deuce looked at you like you had just asked him why fire was hot. “Because I’m your knight.”
Oh.
That was—
That was kind of—
Warm.
An unpleasantly warm feeling spread in your chest, like you had just accidentally drunk an entire cup of molten sentimentality.
You didn't like it. You didn't like it at all.
ABORT. ABORT. ABORT.
You cleared your throat, deadpan as possible, and said, “Right. That makes sense.”
Then, with all the grace and subtlety of a spooked alley cat, you turned on your heel and walked away at high velocity, because you were absolutely not dealing with this today.

It doesn’t matter what you do.
You could ignore him. Insult him. Dramatically throw a glass of wine in his face and accuse him of high treason.
Nothing works.
The male lead only seems to fall harder.
And tonight?
Tonight, it’s worse than ever.
Now, he was finding excuses to touch you.
You had arrived at the royal ball with the intention of causing mischief—maybe ruining a few engagements, maybe flirting with people’s spouses just for the fun of it, maybe convincing a few nobles that you were an ancient demon cursed to live among them in disguise—you know, the usual.
What you hadn’t planned for was the crown prince himself swooping in like a predatory falcon, seizing your wrist, and dramatically pulling you onto the dance floor.
There was no escape.
And the worst part?
The entire room was watching.
Which meant you had to grit your teeth and endure it.
The music began.
You stepped forward. He stepped forward.
You tried to maintain a respectable distance.
He?
He did not.
Instead, he pulled you closer—his grip firm, his posture rigid, his expression unreadable as he held you just a little too tightly.
And then—oh, and then.
You felt it.
The slight intake of breath.
The subtle tilt of his head.
The near-invisible shudder that ran down his spine as he inhaled deeply, as if committing your scent to memory.
Your entire body locked up in horror.
What. The. Hell.
Was he—
Was this bastard—
Was he sniffing you?
You immediately tried to pull away, but his vice-like grip did not relent.
“I—” His voice came out a little strangled, and his eyes darted away suspiciously. “You—” He swallowed. “I was just making sure you didn’t smell like poison.”
You stared at him.
Poison.
Poison.
He said that with his whole chest.
Like it was a normal thing to do.
Like it wasn’t the most deranged, lovesick, absolutely unhinged thing you had ever seen in your entire life.
“You think someone poisoned me?” you deadpanned.
“Yes,” he said, nodding a little too quickly. “I thought—I thought maybe one of your enemies slipped something into your drink.”
“So your first instinct was to smell me?”
“YES.”
The sheer delusion in his voice was astounding.
You pushed him off you the moment the song ended, practically flinging yourself across the room in search of sanity, reason, and possibly a priest.
The moment you reached Ace, Riddle, and Deuce, you collapsed into their presence, gasping like you had just escaped the jaws of death.
Riddle took one look at your disheveled state, grimaced, and immediately handed you a handkerchief, as if he could wipe the entire experience off you.
You snatched it up and aggressively scrubbed at your neck.
Ace?
Ace was dying.
He was bent over in laughter, hands on his knees, completely losing his mind.
And Deuce?
Deuce looks like you just drop-kicked his puppy off a bridge.
He is staring at you like you personally betrayed him, his ancestors, and the entirety of knighthood as an institution.
Ace sees an opportunity and takes it.
With zero hesitation, he grabs Deuce by the shoulders and shoves him closer to you.
“You gonna let that slide, man?” Ace teases, grinning like a madman.
“I—” Deuce blinks, still looking dazed and vaguely devastated.
Ace pushes him again. “Dude, do something! Your boss just got publicly defiled.”
Deuce finally snaps out of it, reaching for his own handkerchief—the one with his knightly crest embroidered on it—and gently, carefully wipes at your neck.
It was different from Riddle’s.
Riddle had handed you his like a noble disgusted by filth.
Deuce, however?
Deuce was careful.
His touch was light, his eyes too focused, too serious as he dabbed at the place where the prince’s lips had nearly brushed against your skin.
He was not just cleaning.
He was removing.
It was as if the very idea of another man touching you physically revolted him.
So, in a desperate attempt to make the moment less weird, you forced out a mocking smirk and teased,
“Aw, Deuce. What’s wrong? You don’t like it when he touches me?”
Deuce, sweet, earnest, painfully loyal Deuce, did not hesitate.
“No."
Oh no.
Bwcause something in your stomach flips and your face feels suspiciously warm.

It was bound to happen.
Honestly, with the way you had been leaning on him lately, whispering too-close teases in his ear, and throwing casual flirtations like daggers at his heart, it was only a matter of time before he cracked.
But you—oh, you hadn’t expected it to be like this.
You were lounging on him again today, your head resting against his shoulder, basking in the solid warmth that only Deuce could provide. He had long since stopped complaining about it—stopped stiffening up every time you got close—and instead, he had simply accepted his fate as your personal resting post.
Which, of course, meant it was your duty to push your luck.
So, you did.
With a slow, lazy grin, you tilted your head, let your lips brush a little too close to his ear, and murmured,
“Y’know, Deuce… you’re kind of my favorite.”
It was supposed to be a joke. (kinda)
It was supposed to be just another tease, another drop of fuel onto the fire just to see him sputter and turn red like he always did.
But this time?
This time, he didn’t laugh.
Instead—
He froze.
His entire body went rigid beneath you, his hands clenching into fists, his breath coming sharper, heavier, like he was wrestling with something too big to contain.
And then—he exhaled.
“Are you playing with me, too?”
The words were low.
Rough.
Like he had been holding them back for too long, like they had been simmering inside him, growing heavier with every glance, every touch, every stupid, careless flirtation.
You blinked. “What?”
Deuce shifted, just enough to look at you head-on, and oh.
Oh.
There was something in his eyes—something raw, something vulnerable, something that made your stomach flip in a way you weren’t prepared for.
“You keep doing this,” he muttered, his voice tight, frustrated. “You flirt with me like you do with the other nobles. You—you act like it’s all just a game. But I—”
His breath hitched.
And then, with a quiet, almost desperate laugh, he whispered,
“You know I love you, right?”
Your heart stopped.
“I—”
“I do,” he interrupted, the words spilling out like he couldn’t hold them back anymore. “I do. I’ve been trying to ignore it, trying to be just your knight, just your friend—but every time you look at me like that, every time you say stuff like this—” His jaw clenched. “—I feel like an idiot. Because I know you don’t mean it. I know you’re just playing around. But I—”
He swallowed hard.
“I can’t take it anymore.”
The air between you went still.
Your heartbeat was too loud, your pulse a slow, insistent drumbeat in your ears, and oh.
Oh, this was real.
He was serious.
Deuce squeezed his eyes shut, inhaled sharply, and then met your gaze once more, firmer this time.
“The next time you flirt with me,” he said, voice low, steady, “I’m going to take it seriously.”
“I mean it,” he continued, as if warning you. “You—you don’t get to joke about this anymore. Not with me. Because I’ll—”
His fingers trembled at his sides.
“I’ll take responsibility for it.”
It took you a second to process the words.
Oh.
Oh, he was adorable.
Because even now—even after basically confessing, after baring his heart to you like this, he was still looking at you like he was waiting for permission.
Like he needed you to say it first.
Like he needed to be sure.
And, well—
Who were you to disappoint your favorite knight?
With a slow, lazy grin, you grabbed him by the collar, pulled him close, and whispered,
“Deuce.”
His breath hitched. “Yeah?”
You leaned in, close enough that your lips brushed against his cheek, and murmured,
“Do you want my last name?”
The moment the words left your mouth, his entire body locked up.
And then—
Then he kissed you.
It was clumsy, heated, desperate in the way only Deuce could be—like he had been holding this back for too long, like he was afraid you’d slip away if he didn’t take you now.
And you—
You melted into it.
Because of course he was serious.
Because of course you had always known what you were doing to him.
Because—
Because you wanted it, too.

The ballroom is packed, glittering, expectant.
The chandeliers glow like stars, the music swells in the background, and every noble in attendance is on the edge of their seat, waiting for whatever ridiculous display you’re about to put on this time.
And, oh, are you about to deliver.
You stand tall, your hand resting comfortably in Deuce’s as you make the grandest announcement of your life.
“We’re engaged.”
The room erupts—gasps, whispers, the sharp clink of dropped silverware.
Deuce, standing proudly beside you, looks both smug and overwhelmed, like he’s still processing the fact that you actually said yes and also fully prepared to duel anyone who disagrees.
Ace is counting coins, no doubt because he made a bet about this happening.
Riddle looks like he’s two seconds away from both congratulating you and strangling you for causing another scene.
And the male lead—
Oh, the male lead is not handling it well.
He’s standing there, frozen, his eye twitching ever so slightly, his mouth opening and closing like he’s trying to form a sentence but can’t because his brain just blue-screened.
The male lead—in all his tragic, oblivious, love-stricken glory—then has the nerve to act like he’s concerned.
“I just think it’s irresponsible, the difference in your status.” he says.
The words hit you like a divine insult.
Like the heavens themselves have chosen this as your actual villain origin story.
There is a moment of stillness.
It’s the kind of moment you read about in dramatic novels—the eerie, anticipatory silence before an executioner swings his blade. The nobles are motionless, caught between the sheer audacity of your engagement announcement and the dawning horror of whatever is about to come next.
Because they can feel it.
They can feel the storm brewing inside you, the kind of apocalyptic fury usually reserved for fallen kingdoms and plagues of locusts.
Deuce grips your hand a little tighter, as if sensing the catastrophic levels of rage that are about to explode from your very soul.
And then—it happens.
You let out a slow, incredulous exhale.
And then, at the top of your lungs—
“OH, MY GOD.”
The chandelier shakes.
Somewhere in the back, a noble collapses onto a couch.
A waiter drops an entire tray of champagne glasses.
The heroine, bless her soul, gasps like she’s just watched someone get impaled.
And the male lead?
The male lead flinches.
But he does not back down.
Which is his second biggest mistake tonight.
His first was being born.
You take a deep, suffering breath, and then—oh, you absolutely let loose.
“JUST SAY YOU’RE JEALOUS, YOU PATHETIC, EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED DISASTER.”
There is an echoing thud.
Ace has fallen to the ground.
He is actively pounding his fist against the marble floor in a fit of laughter so violent that one of the nobles attempts to call a doctor.
Riddle is gripping his temples, already mourning the loss of his peace.
And Deuce?
Deuce nods along.
Like, yeah. That makes sense.
But you are nowhere near done.
You take an intimidating step forward, pointing aggressively at the male lead’s absurdly symmetrical face.
“Do you think I don’t know?!” you demand. “Do you think I don’t notice when you materialize out of thin air whenever I so much as sigh?? Do you think I don’t see you hiding behind pillars, staring at me with the same expression as a neglected golden retriever!?”
The male lead opens his mouth—probably to deny it.
But you immediately cut him off.
“DON’T EVEN TRY ME, YOU NOBLE IMBECILE.”
The heroine physically recoils.
A duke mutters a quiet prayer.
Ace has fully ascended to the next realm.
“I have proof!” you declare, waving an accusatory finger. “Every time I enter a room, you’re already there, lurking in the shadows like a deranged, overgrown bat. Do you think that’s normal behavior?! Do you think people don’t notice?! I HAVE SEEN THE TOWN CRIER TAKING NOTES.”
Riddle’s entire body twitches.
Because, unfortunately, that is not an exaggeration.
The town crier really has been chronicling the male lead’s unhinged pining in weekly installments.
You take another step forward, voice rising.
“Just admit it! Admit that you have absolutely lost your mind over me, and you’re just mad that I don’t give a single, microscopic shred of a damn!”
The male lead is visibly sweating.
But you are still not finished.
“Listen to me,” you say, voice lowering into something cold, absolute, and devastating. You step forward until the male lead is cornered against a column, towering over him like a vengeful god.
Then, with as much venom as you can possibly summon—
“I value you less than a piece of moldy bread.”
Carnage.
The room erupts into madness.
The male lead physically staggers.
His soul leaves his body.
His knees tremble like he’s about to collapse.
Ace is choking on laughter, beating the floor like a medieval peasant begging for mercy.
Riddle has his hands over his eyes like this is the most humiliating thing he’s ever been forced to witness.
The heroine is looking at the male lead like he’s a dying animal.
And Deuce—sweet, loyal Deuce—just crosses his arms, nods approvingly, and says,
“Yeah. What he said."
You smile, victorious.
You dust off your hands like you’ve just completed a particularly satisfying chore.
Then, you turn back to Deuce, loop your arm through his, and promptly walk out of the ballroom with your beloved knight at your side.

The sun melts into the horizon, casting the ocean in gold and rose, waves curling onto the shore. A warm breeze rolls through the open balcony, carrying the scent of salt and flowers and Deuce Spade trying to subtly overthink again.
Which is unfortunate.
Because you had expressly banned thinking on this honeymoon.
Yet here he is—Deuce , your devoted, beautiful, terminally self-doubting husband—standing by the railing, arms crossed, jaw clenched, deep in Thought.
You know that look.
It’s the look of a man about to say something stupid.
And indeed—
“Do you regret it?” he asks.
You blink. “Regret what?”
Deuce doesn’t look at you. His gaze is on the horizon, all noble knightly brooding, except it’s Deuce, so it just makes him look like a golden retriever contemplating the meaning of life.
“Choosing me,” he clarifies. “I mean, you—you could’ve had anyone. A prince, a noble, someone with status. Someone who actually deserves—”
You physically grab him.
Like, you latch onto him like a barnacle and manhandle him around to face you, because this is quite possibly the dumbest thing he’s ever said, and you refuse to let him say another word.
Deuce, being Deuce, just lets you do it.
He stares at you, startled, lips slightly parted, eyes big and blue and breathtaking.
And you sigh.
“Sweetheart,” you say, voice dry, “you are the densest person I have ever met.”
He blinks.
You take his face in your hands.
“I love you, dumbass.”
A beat of silence.
Then—
Deuce grins.
It’s small at first, hesitant, like he’s still processing the words—like some part of him is still convinced he’s dreaming, that any moment now, he’s going to wake up in the barracks and realize none of this is real.
But then, you thumb over his cheek, gentle, certain, grounding him in reality.
And that’s when it happens.
That’s when his grin breaks into something helpless and bright, something that crinkles the corners of his eyes, something that is so very Deuce that your heart trips over itself.
He hides his face against your shoulder.
“Shut up,” he mumbles, muffled against your skin, voice warm, embarrassed, happy.
You laugh, wrapping your arms around him, pulling him closer.
“Make me.”
His arms tighten around you, and for a while, neither of you move—just standing there, on the balcony of some faraway villa, wrapped up in each other, with nothing and no one to interrupt.
No scheming nobles.
No pushy male leads.
No ridiculous duels or political scandals.
Just you, Deuce, and the rest of your lives ahead.

Series Masterlist ; Masterlist
#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst deuce#deuce spade x reader#deuce x reader#deuce#deuce spade#trash novel chronicles#male reader
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Hey is it okay for me to ask you to write the tulpar crew with an easily flustered reader
a/n: IM SO SORRYYY I haven’t been writing as often :( my meds are kinda being weird rn BUT I WILL THUG IT OUT!! I hope u guys like this one!!
Tulpar crew x easily flustered! reader
Curly
Thinks you are absolutely adorable
Sometimes teases you to get you embarassed
Might worry if he went too far though and check if you’re okay
Lots of very smooth comments
You confessed first, by some miracle without passing out
He of course said yes and that made you almost faint
“Sweetheart”
“Darling”
Lots of cute pet names
Kisses you randomly to thank you for things
“Thank you my love”
All in all he thinks you’re adorable
Jimmy
Oh boy
If you thought Curly was bad
This man will tease you until you DO faint
Weird ass pet names
“Princess” is his fav
Uses the fact that you clam up so easy to his advantage
If someone asks you a question and he’s nearby he’ll just put his hand on your hip and you’re a stuttering mess
Thinks it’s cute and funny
No way he’s confessing first
You have to suck it up
You’re mumbling and stuttering
“Oh my god this is so dumb….”
“Yep, it is. Keep going.”
Swansea
Doesn’t understand you
Why are you literally shaking because he called you sweet cheeks
LOL?
Doesn’t try to fluster you on purpose but it still happens a lot
Surprisingly he confessed first
Not a mushy confession or anything just like a
“I think you’ve got a damn good head on your shoulders. Want to go steady?”
You die
Not big on physical affection, rather do acts of service
Which makes you mutter out a “thank you” and look at the ground
“Sweet thing”
“Honey”
Very old fashioned so doesn’t try to show much emotion
He’s pretty damn sweet on you though
Thinks you’re…the bees knees
Okay maybe I’m writing him too old
Daisuke
Omg
He thinks you’re adorable
Loves to squish your cheeks and poke you
Big on physical affection
And big on YOU
He likes the way you cover your face
Because it means he gets to do the thing where he moves his hands away from your face and kisses your nose
“Babe”
“Love”
“My buzzy beautiful sunshine nugget”
He would do that last one as a joke
Or would he
“You’re so cute when you blush like that”
Which in turn makes you blush more
He definitely confessed first
Anya
Anya herself is easily flustered
So she does her best to not fluster you
Doesn’t mean she doesn’t compliment you or use pet names
Lots of “sweetheart”
“Darling”
“Lovely”
Kisses your forehead
If you get overwhelmed feels so bad
“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry!”
Neither of you confessed
Daisuke had to get you two in the same room
And be like “YOU GUYS LIKE EACH OTHER!!”
When she’s doing your makeup you might blush
And she’d make a joke about how you don’t need blush anymore
She just needs to say she loves you ;D
#mouthwashing#x reader#daisuke mouthwashing x reader#daisuke x reader#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing x reader#swansea x reader#anya x reader#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy x reader mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#swansea mouthwashing#mechanic swansea#swansea mouthwashing x reader#jimmy x reader#mouthwashing curly x reader#curly x reader#curly mouthwashing#cassiebob talkerpants#cassiebob answers
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Nugget Update (MV1)
sumary: y/n's always giddy after getting a nugget update, sure she loves her best boy, but it also has something to do with the cat sitter sending the updates
driver!reader x cat sitter!max verstappen -> habs incoming... series masterlist
cw: not fia approved words, a bit of lance hate (I don't actually hate him), mutual pinning, the grid teasing the reader, lot of appearances from the reader's cat, kissing, kinda mean!reader (to the grid)
wc: 4.1k
a/n: this is my first time writing in 2nd person so bear with me. also, I low key hate this and it may be shit. not proof read!
“Well aren’t you a ball of sunshine?” A voice called out, disturbing the peace - or the closest thing to peace you could have near a Formula 1 track.
Your gaze snapped up, eyes narrowing as you took in the man standing on the entry of the RedBull garage. “Hello, Charles,” you replied, a teasing bite obviously heard in your voice as you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know you wanted to experience what a successful garage looks like but I thought Ferrari had a better hold on you.”
Charles laughs, his eyes crinkling as his lips stretch into a smile. Teasing Charles was always a fun time but that’s all it was, just a bit of fun. It never stretched into something meaner, just two people showing affection by teasing each other.
Charles had been your very first real friend on the grid. The first to offer his hand with a smile and genuinely mean it. The first to congratulate you on a win after getting out of the car or the first to say that the next race would be better. Really, he was your best friend, but you would never tell him that or it would go to his head.
“Funny, very funny.” He said, his accent thick. His eyes slid around the motor home until finally meeting your own. “Lot of drivers are going out for drinks, came by to invite you.”
“I don’t Charles,” you started to say, going through your mental list of excuses, searching for the best one to use to avoid this social interaction.
“Oh come on!” He whined, rolling his eyes. He gave you a look that let you know you could stop thinking about an excuse because he wasn’t going to be buying it. “We won’t stay that long and it’s night race tomorrow so you don’t need to wake up at the crack of dawn.”
You pressed your lips together, the lip gloss previously applied making them slide against each other easily.
Charles kissed his teeth, nodding his head along. Fine, he’ll play the game. “Some of the WAG’s are coming as well.”
“Are you really trying to lure me out by promising female company?”
“Is it working?”
“Eh,” you shrugged your shoulders. “Will you pay my tab?”
Charles scoffed. “Pay your tab?” He asked, sounding as if you had asked him for his firstborn. “You’re filthy rich! You have a bigger salary than me!”
“Yeah, they do pay world champions a bit extra, comes with the title.” You replied, grinning at him, a wide teasing grin, your eyes twinkling.
“Fine whatever, I’ll pay your tab.” He said, raising his hands in surrender. “Now go take that suit off and shower, you look disgusting.”
“You look like a trash can threw you up!”
“It threw me up because it saw you!” Charles shouted back in response, his back already turned to you as he walked away, back to the Ferrari garage.
And that’s how you ended up in the bar, an hour later. Squished in the not too comfortable and definitely not meant to sit so many people, booth. With George’s girlfriend Carmen on your left, and Pierre’s girlfriend Kika on your right, and deep in conversation with both of them.
You feel your phone vibrate under your hand on the table, and the screen lights up, showing off your wallpaper, a picture of your beloved cat Nugget.
You tune off from the conversation the moment the message arrives, grabbing your phone and pulling it in towards you. Your face lights up, lips stretching into a smile as your eyes focus on the sender ID. Maxie.
Or rather Max. The very cute guy who was your cat sitter whenever you were out and about in the world, chasing the racing track.
With a quick move of your fingers, you swipe up, opening your phone and going into the message app. Fingers quickly tapping along the screen of your phone as you type out your reply.


With a smile you closed the messages app, pressing your fingers against the button on the side of your phone, watching the screen go black before setting it face down onto the table. As you looked back up, Lando’s amused yet teasing expression caught your eye.
You leaned forward against the table, pressing your hands to the wooden surface as you attempted to get a bit closer to the driver on the other side of the table. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Oh nothing,” he said with a laugh. “Just wondering who you’re texting, that’s all.” He intertwined his fingers, elbows pressed against the table and leaned forward as well. “You were all grumpy cat but then you get a message and suddenly you’re all smiles.”
“Grumpy cat?” You scoff, rolling your eyes at the McLaren driver. “I’m not a grumpy cat. And for the record, that was Nugget’s babysitter and he was sending me a picture of Nugget.”
Lando laughs, there’s a twinkle in his eyes that tells you he wants to say more but he holds himself back. “Can I see? I haven’t seen the orange gremlin in so long.”
“That’s very mean,” you say, opening your phone to show him the picture, that Max had sent you. “Nugget would never say that about you.”
“That’s because Nugget can’t speak.” He looks at the screen and his lips twist upward in a smirk. “Who’s Maxie?”
You breathe out through your nose, teeth digging into your bottom lip. When you speak your voice is sharp, it leaves no room for questioning things or an invite to ask more questions. “The cat sitter.”
“I’m sure that’s all he is.” Lando laughs when you show him your middle finger before settling back into your seat and returning to the previously abandoned conversation with the two WAG’s.

The race went pretty smoothly, as always. Starting from pole, keeping the lead the whole race and with a 20s gap to car in P2. Everything after that was pretty much a blur, the interviews, partying through the night with the grid and boarding the jet early in the morning.
The sun already started setting by the time you made it to Monaco. With a sigh you rummaged through your bag, blindly feeling around the stuff inside before your fingers finally wrapped around the keys.
Opening the apartment door you walked inside, gently laying down your suitcase as your eyes settled on the scene in your living room. Right there, laying on your couch, in deep sleep, and cuddling your cat is Max Verstappen.
His hair had fallen over his eyes and the position he’s in looks rather uncomfortable, you’re sure his body will be aching when he wakes up. His chest was raising and falling with each breath he took, little sighs slipping past his lips. Nugget was cuddled up to him, curled in a ball.
You looked at him for a few moments before starting to move around as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake him up.
Max had been cat sitting for you for a while now. Half of last season and now half of this one so almost a year. He was a sweet, kinda shy, mostly nerdy guy you ran into in a coffee shop and spilled his coffee. You offered to buy him a new one and he joined you for the coffee and you got to talking when he said he was looking for a job so you offered him to become your pet sitter.
At that point you really did need someone to look after your cat while you were gone, since you had broken up with your ex who usually took care of Nugget while you were away. And you couldn’t leave Nugget with your parents since your father was allergic to cats.
Now, your best friend who had been working in a different country had returned to Monaco and said she’d be more than happy to look after Nugget - but you wanted to keep Max around.
Already having grown used to coming home after a race weekend to find him there, just existing in your space.
Nugget’s whiskers twitch, his eyes opening and he pulls himself away from Max, stretches out and then trots over to you, rubbing his head against your leg affectionately while purring. He let out a happy, albeit a bit too loud, meow when you picked him up and on the other side of the room Max began stirring from his sleep.
He opened his eyes, a bit confused, and rubbed his knuckles against his eyes to wake up, blinking a few times as his eyes adjusted to the light filling up the room.
“You’re back,” he says, his voice is gentle, still sleepy and a bit quiet. His eyes meet yours and he offers you a sweet smile that has you immediately smiling back at him. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep, sorry about that.”
“Oh no, it’s no problem,” you reply, running your hand over Nugget’s fur as the cat lay happily in your arms. “You can use the guest bedroom if you’re tired, you know. The couch may be expensive but that doesn’t mean it’s comfortable for sleep.”
“I didn’t want to overstep,” Max said, pulling himself up into a sitting position. You approached the couch and sat down, the cat nestling in your lap and purring in content. Max smiled, reaching out his hand and petting Nugget.
“Nonsense Max, you’re not overstepping.” You cut him off, leaving no room for argument. You always told him to feel at ease in your apartment, that he was welcome to any food in the fridge and free to use the guest room as he pleased but even after all this time there was still a slight air of awkwardness backed up by the fear of going a bit too far.
Max’s eyes settled on you, your own focused on your cat so you didn’t notice him looking. He watched the way you cooed at Nugget, asking if he was a good boy while you were away and petting him gently, and his lips stretched into a small, careful smile.
He spoke before thinking. The words left his mouth before he even finished the thought inside of his head. “I watched the race,” he said, and your eyes instantly snapped up to meet his. He swallowed, already too deep to back down. “It - “ he licked his lips, trying to decide his next words, feeling like his tongue had tied itself up in a knot. “You were spectacular. It was lovely … simply lovely.”
You let out a breath, the corners of your mouth twisting upwards and you gave him a thankful look. Max swore he could feel his heart beating in his throat, and felt his cheeks heat up. “Thank you,” you said, your voice gentle, holding a comforting tone. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. And it’s nice - knowing you watched.”
“It is?”
You bit your lip, teeth scraping against you bottom lip as you looked at him, your brain running faster than the Sauber (like it’s hard) as you tried to come up with a response. “It’s kind of comforting,” you finally said, after what felt like a small forever.
You hummed, looking down at your nails. “I was thinking about bringing Nugget with me to the next race. It’s been a while since he was in the paddock.”
“Oh,” Max said, an edge of confusion noticeable in the tone of his voice. “Does that mean that you don’t need me coming over next week?”
“Actually, I was hoping you would come with.” You say, before you can talk yourself out of making the proposition.
Max tilts his head to the side, kind of like a confused cat and you try your best not to giggle at the mental image. “I’m not sure I’m following.”
“If you wanted to attend the Grand Prix,” you tell him, running the edge of one of your nails along your skin. “Cuz’ I’m still gonna need someone to look after Nugget, and you do that in general so this would just be an added bonus of traveling.”
Max is silent for a few moments and you think he’ll decline. You wouldn't fully blame him if he did, you know what the pressure of the paddock can be like. You’re about to open your mouth, tell him that ‘never mind, it was a stupid idea anyway’ and put him out of the trouble of finding a polite way to decline when he finally speaks.
“I suppose, if you want me to then yeah, I’ll come along to watch Nugget.” He says, trying to ignore the nervous feeling building up in his chest when you smile at him, a wide happy smile that makes him instantly smile back.
“Great!” You said, the excitement evident in your voice. “Someone from the team will contact you in a while to arrange the tickets and leave the rest to me.” Max nods, he doesn’t trust himself to speak, not with the way his throat is closing up and it makes him feel like he can’t breathe.



“Look at you all giggly,” Charles teased, gently pushing your shoulder with his hand. He wiggled his eyebrows, a laugh slipping past his lips as you glared at him.
“Charles, why don’t you turn around and flash your pretty face to the crowd.” You said, rolling your eyes. You looked at the stadium full of people who were shouting out for their favorite drivers, waving banners and cheering happily. You smiled towards the stadium and lifted your hand up, waving your fingers to the public. “Give them a wave.”
“See, I always knew you thought I was pretty,” Charles replied, waving at the public. The two of you and the rest of the grid were in a wagon, going around the track for the drivers parade, so essentially you were stuck with him for at least five more minutes. “Now, do tell who’s got you smiling like that.”
“Is it Maxie?” Lando asked, the teasing tone evident in his voice. He pushed himself closer to you and Charles, inserting himself into the conversation.
“Didn’t your mom teach you not to eavesdrop?”
“No, no!” Charles said, shaking his head as he waved his hand dismissively as you, his full attention now focused on Lando. “Who’s Maxie?”
Lando smiled at him, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “The cat sitter,” he said in a sing-song kind of voice.
“The one you brought to your garage?” The Ferrari driver asked, his attention back on you. “The pretty one.”
“Hold up!” Lando almost shouted, raising his hands. “You brought him with you to the Grand Prix?!”
“I didn’t … well I did bring him.” You said with a sigh, there was no escaping this now. “But it’s not like that. He’s here to watch Nugget.”
“And for you to watch him - because boy that is one good arm candy.”
“Charles, your homosexual is showing,” you warned.
“But you’re not denying it,” Charles noted, giving you a smirk.
You rolled your eyes at him but finally gave in. “Yes, I’m not denying it.”

You stepped back into the motor home, your eyes immediately searching for Max and finally you found him talking to your lead engineer. As you approached the two you could start to hear their conversation and quickly realized they were talking about how the car worked and what went on behind the scenes at a Grand Prix. You found it cute that Max was interested in that.
His eyes met yours and his face lit up, the corners of his mouth twisting upwards into a smile. “You’re back!” He said, “After terrorizing everyone around and getting pets, Nugget decided to settle down for a nap. He’s in your driver's room.”
Max gave you a wink after saying that and you had to hold in a giggle. You excused yourself to go to your driver’s room, with Max following behind you. The first thing you noticed when you went inside was Nugget, curled up on the massage bed and sleeping without a care.
The next thing that grabbed your attention was a dozen pastries lined up on a small table next to the couch. They were all individually wrapped in tissues.
“Max,” you said, picking up one of the pastries and unwrapping it. “I really did mean only one pastry, you know?” You bit into the chocolate filled pastry, moaning at the taste of a treat you weren’t usually allowed to have when it was race week. “My trainer will strangle me if he sees.”
“I swear, no one saw anything.” Max said, shuffling over to the couch and sitting down. “I was sneakier than Nugget when he’s stealing my food.”
“Oh, now that’s a very serious claim.” You told him with a laugh, his own laugh echoing back. You picked up one of the wrapped pastries and offered it to him. “Take one, or five. There’s no way I’m eating it all.”
He takes the pastry you’re offering him, his fingers brushing against your own as he takes it from your hand, sending sparks of electricity down your spine. After a second of hesitation you sit down next to him, the two of you eating the treats in comfortable silence.
His thigh nudges against yours and you turn to face him, finding that he’s already looking at you. He smiles and you don’t hesitate to smile back.

The practices go great, P2 in FP1, P1 in FP2 and P1 in FP3.
The qualifying is where a slight setback shows up, with quali being ended early due to a crash and a red flag, putting you in P10 for the start of the race tomorrow.
Once the car had rolled back into the pits you wasted no time getting out, putting the steering wheel back into place before storming into your driver’s room.
You pulled your helmet off, fingers curling into the bottom of your balaclava as you pulled it off, throwing it next to your helmet before bringing your hands up to smooth down your hair.
“I’m not in the fucking mood, Pepe.” You said without turning around, assuming it was your race engineer coming to talk about the outcome of qualifying. “Fucking Lance and his fucking money made seat - if that little frog screws up another quali, I’ll be the one crashing him out.”
“I’m not Pepe,” the other person in the room says and you instantly turn around, your eyes wide as they meet Max’s blue ones. “And I’m certainly glad I’m not Lance.”
You looked him up and down, eyes trailing over his figure. You took notice of Nugged, cuddled up in his arms and looked at you curiously, and reached your hand out to pet the cat, a long breath slipping past your lips.
“Sorry,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “I didn’t really mean for you to hear that.”
Max barely heard what you were saying. Too distracted by the sight of you for his brain to properly register your words. Your skin was slightly glistening with sweat, an imprint from where your helmet and balaclava had dug into your skin still visible on your flushed cheeks. Your messy hair, and your chest raising and falling with each breath you took as you were still working on catching up your breath.
Max blinked, finally snapping out of his thoughts and focusing his attention back to what you were saying. “They should have let you finish the lap.”
“I agree but sadly that’s not how it works.”
Max nodded along, not really knowing what to say to that so he switched to the next topic. “I ran into your friend. He invited you, and me, out for drinks. I think it would be nice to go, you seem like you need a drink.”
“Yeah, I definitely do.” You replied, taking Nugget from his arms and into your own, stroking down the cat’s body. “Which friend?”
“Uh,” Max started, thinking of a way to describe the guy since he couldn’t remember his name. “Wears red, pretty, sounds French.”
You laughed, smiling at him. “That’s Charles. I hope you didn’t tell him he sounds French, he gets offended by that.”
“Then it’s great I kept it to myself.”
You laughed in reply, putting Nugget down to the floor, the cat immediately moving to a cozy corner and curling up into a ball on the floor, shutting his eyes. “The hotel is right next to the track, you can take Nugget back while I shower and then we can go - if you want to.”
“Sounds like a deal,” Max replied with a smile.
You showered and put on a clean set of clothes just in time to meet Max after he finished dropping Nugget back to the hotel, leaving him with toys, food and water. The two of you made your way to the bar to join the rest of the grid for a night out.
Some of the drivers were playing pool while their girlfriends were engrossed in a conversation so that left you and Max sitting together, sharing drinks and talking.
“I just …” you started, cracking your fingers. “I don’t know, this quali really messed up my mood and I was riding on such a high after the practices going well. It all feels shit now.”
“Maybe you just need more motivation for the race.” Max offered, drinking the rest of the liquor from his glass in one go.
“You have something in mind, Maxie?” You asked, the nickname slipping past your lips without a thought now that you’ve had a few drinks.
“How about a kiss if you get on the podium?” He said, his voice suggestive. Normally he never would have dared to say something like that but the alcohol courage really worked wonders.
Your eyes widened, clearly not expecting him to be so bold or to suggest that. He took your reaction as a bad sign, immediately straightening up as a wave of dread quickly sobered him up.
“I’m sorry,” he gasped out, the expression on his face shifting into a panicked one. “That was stupid. It was thoughtless. It was -”
“A great motivation,” you cut him off, putting a finger up against his lips to silence him. “It was a great motivation.”
His cheeks burned as his eyes met yours. He looked so vulnerable, his bright eyes impossibly wide. “Yeah?”
“Yeah!”

“One more corner to go but you’re in the clear,” Pepe’s voice echoed over the radio. You blinked, your eyes focused on the track before you, the checkered flag already visible along with your team gathering in the front. “That’s P1, Y/n. Phenomenal drive today, you deserved it!”
“Thank you,” you said, your voice breathless as you moved your hands, going through the last corner and speeding towards the finish line. “Thank you, Pepe.” You repeated, swallowing your spit. “It was lovely, simply lovely.”
You put the car into P1, getting out and posing for a picture on top of your car. You could hear the shouts, the cheers, the celebration. You took off your helmet, ripping off your balaclava and putting them both into the car before turning around to face the team, eyes searching for a particular face.
Finally, you spotted Max. Standing besides your engineer, a proud expression on his face as he looked at you with a wide smile. You didn’t hesitate, feet moving before you could think and then you were in front of him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him down, smashing your lips into his.
The kiss was desperate, both of having waited long enough for it. He wrapped his arms around you, the best he could with the fence between you, kissing you back with need.
You finally pulled away when you felt your lungs burning from the lack of oxygen, learning your forehead against his. Nothing else mattered, not the public, not the team, not the celebration. Only him, finally yours.
“Simply lovely, right?” You asked, your voice breathless.
“Simply lovely!” Max repeated back to you, before kissing you once again. And he really did mean it - everything was simply lovely.
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DP X Marvel #14
It all started with a ghost. A very loud, very neon, very annoying ghost that thought it was a great idea to haunt Stark Tower. Danny Fenton—part-time student, full-time accidental hero, and perpetually exhausted teen—was just trying to track the damn thing through the Manhattan skyline when his portal malfunctioned (again), exploded in his face (again), and slingshotted him across the sky, straight through a window that turned out to be reinforced vibranium glass.
It should’ve stopped him. It didn’t.
Cue the alarms. Cue the dozens of defense drones locking onto his energy signature. Cue a 19-year-old Danny dangling upside down in the penthouse, surrounded by billion-dollar murder bots, trying to explain to a very confused AI that he was not, in fact, an alien invader.
But before FRIDAY could blast him into oblivion, a small voice piped up from behind a couch. “Are you a fairy?”
Danny blinked. Dangling upside down. Singed suit. Ectoplasm dripping from his hair. “Uh. Sure.”
The voice belonged to a tiny, curly-haired gremlin wearing a tutu, light-up sneakers, and what looked like Tony Stark’s old Iron Man helmet—three sizes too big and twice as chaotic. This was Morgan Stark. Age: five. Chaos level: eldritch god. She approached him like a cat approaches a new toy: equal parts curiosity and threat assessment.
“Can you do sparkles?” she asked.
Danny shot a tiny beam of ecto-energy at the ceiling light, which exploded into fireworks.
Morgan gasped. “OH MY GOD, YOU ARE A FAIRY.”
And that was how Danny Fenton became Morgan Stark’s official babysitter.
It wasn’t like he volunteered. Or got paid. Or even agreed. Tony Stark had been out of the country—something about a diplomatic mess in Wakanda and a golf game with T’Challa. Pepper had begged Steve Rogers to watch Morgan, but Steve’s idea of babysitting was forcing a child to recite the Constitution. So Pepper, desperate and very, very sleep-deprived, walked into her penthouse to find a teenage boy hovering in midair while her daughter screamed “FAIRY GODBRO” at him and decided, “Yeah. Sure. This’ll do.”
“Can you keep her alive?” Pepper asked, not even blinking at the glowing green eyes.
Danny shrugged. “Uh. I guess?”
“You get dental.”
Danny had no idea what that meant but was too scared to argue.
By Day Three, he was in hell. Not the Ghost Zone. Not some apocalyptic alternate timeline. Actual hell. Or what felt like it. Morgan had no concept of mortality. She once duct-taped kitchen knives to her arms and yelled “I’M WOLVERINE NOW.” Another time, she tried to feed their Roomba peanut butter and sobbed when it wouldn’t eat.
Danny tried to keep up. He really did.
Unfortunately, he was also being hunted by an interdimensional ghost warlord named Balthazar the Undying who decided Stark Tower was a great place to stage his declaration of conquest. So in between coloring pages and singing “Let It Go” for the 57th time (because Morgan said if he didn’t, she’d tell everyone he “pees ectoplasm”), Danny was banishing ancient horrors to the Shadow Realm.
“Why does the air taste like sadness?” Morgan asked one morning, sipping chocolate milk while a spectral hand clawed its way out of the floor behind her.
Danny shot it with a laser without looking. “That’s just the trauma, kid.”
She nodded like that made sense.
By Day Five, things got weirder.
Bruce Banner came over to “assess the babysitter.” What he found was a 19-year-old ghost hybrid making chicken nuggets with one hand while performing an exorcism on a sentient blender with the other. Bruce blinked. “You’re multitasking.”
Danny, dead-eyed and covered in slime: “You’re not my real dad.”
Bruce left after Morgan bit him.
Then Peter Parker dropped by. He took one look at Danny—haggard, twitching, wearing a tiara—and whispered, “Oh my god, he is a hot mess.”
“Shut up,” Danny snapped, using his foot to hold down a haunted Roomba. “Help me tie up the possessed dolls.”
Peter did not help. He just filmed everything for TikTok. The video went viral under the title “Me when I leave a random ghost fairy babysitter with Tony Stark’s child and come back to find him summoning the underworld during snack time.”
Nick Fury saw the video and sent a S.W.O.R.D. strike team to investigate.
Morgan beat them with a plastic lightsaber.
On Day Seven, Danny woke up to find Morgan riding a flying toaster around the living room like it was a dragon.
“WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?”
“I summoned it,” she said proudly.
“HOW.”
“I made a deal with your ghost friends.”
Danny’s left eye twitched so hard he saw the Ghost Zone.
Pepper walked in on him mid-breakdown. “You’ve been great with her,” she said, sipping her coffee. “We haven’t seen her this happy since… well, ever.”
Danny, clinging to the ceiling like a feral raccoon, wheezed, “I think she opened a portal to the Necroplane. There’s a demon named Craig living in the fridge.”
Pepper patted his arm. “All babysitters say that.”
Craig opened the fridge and waved. “Sup.”
By Week Two, Danny had stopped pretending to be normal. He phased through walls, levitated toys, vaporized anything that smelled like danger, and occasionally screamed “I’M TOO YOUNG TO BE HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS” into the void.
Tony finally came home. He blinked at the scene: Danny napping upside down like a bat while Morgan built a nuclear reactor out of old toaster parts and a Roomba named Kevin.
“Who the hell is that?” Tony asked.
Morgan didn’t even look up. “My fairy godbrother. He banished an evil frog ghost and helped me build an orbital laser.”
Tony stared. “Huh. Alright.”
And just like that, Danny Fenton became part of the Avengers.
He didn’t sign anything. He didn’t train. He didn’t even get a uniform. But every time something exploded or a portal opened or some ancient deity said “BEHOLD MY TRUE FORM,” Danny just floated into the air, cracked his back like an old man, and said, “Not in front of the child, you drama bitch.”
Morgan, from her juice box throne: “YEET HIM INTO THE VOID, DANNY.”
And he did.
It only got worse when the other Avengers got involved.
Natasha tried to teach Morgan how to do spy stuff. Morgan used the techniques to sneak into Tony’s wine cellar and replace the labels with glitter glue and threats.
Thor visited once. Morgan asked if she could ride his hammer. He said no. She cried. The hammer floated toward her on its own. Danny had to wrestle it away.
Clint brought over a bow and arrow set. Morgan hit Peter in the ass with a suction cup dart. Danny laughed so hard he choked on ectoplasm.
Wanda stared at Danny for a full ten minutes before whispering, “You’re not from this plane.”
Danny, deadpan: “Neither is your eyeliner.”
They became friends.
One night, Danny woke up to find Morgan drawing summoning circles on the walls in glitter glue.
“Whatcha doing, champ?”
“Trying to summon a unicorn for Auntie Yelena.”
Danny blinked. “Go back to bed.”
She glared. “You don’t support women in STEM.”
By Month One, SHIELD had officially labeled Danny as a “Class 7 Unexplainable Being with Babysitting Potential.” He had a badge. He had clearance. He had no idea what was happening anymore.
All he knew was that if Morgan Stark said “Danny, I wanna adopt a ghost puppy,” then by God, he was going to march into the Ghost Zone and wrestle a spectral hellhound into a leash.
And he did.
Its name is Toast.
Danny Fenton—ghost boy, half-dead teenager, babysitter of the year—accidentally became the most powerful figure in the universe. Not because of his powers. Not because of his knowledge. Not even because of his tragic backstory.
But because Morgan Stark liked him. And if you hurt Morgan Stark, you would be introduced to Craig, the fridge demon, and Kevin, the haunted Roomba, and Toast, the ghost puppy, and then, finally, the very angry, very tired, very over-it Danny Phantom who could—and would—yeet you into another dimension for interrupting nap time.
The Avengers knew better than to interfere.
Even Thanos came back to life once, took one look at Danny and Morgan, and said, “No thanks.”
He snapped himself back out of existence.
Danny didn’t even flinch.
Morgan dabbed.
And somewhere, in the vast multiverse of chaos and consequence, Tony Stark looked at his daughter, his haunted apartment, his glowing ghost babysitter eating fruit snacks while levitating a possessed microwave, and muttered to himself—
“Yeah. That tracks.”
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp x marvel#danny phantom fanfiction#marvel mcu#mcu#mcu fandom#marvel#crossover#danny phantom fandom#tony stark#iron dad#iron man#pepper potts#morgan stark#marvel fanfic#marvel fandom#mcu fanfiction#mcu fluff
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Chicken nuggies.
Crack thought with all the fluff. ALL the fluff. Maybe a tiny dash of angst at the start but it's to set the plot.
Everything that could have possibly gone wrong went sideways as soon as the mission started. The team was ambushed. Bucky was separated from everyone else. His trigger words blared through the speakers and there was nothing anyone could do to stop the soldier from awakening.
Worst of all, you were badly injured. Steve groaned in pain, struggling to pull himself up when he saw the solider lock his eyes on your limp form, taking long strides towards you with purpose.
That wasn't good.
"Tony-I-I need back up, y/n is-what the hell"
Steve blinked watching his friend pick you up with the utmost care, holding you securely in his arms. A hydra agent attempted to order him, only to be silenced with a knife thrown to the throat. The soldier made his way towards the exit with you along with a limping Steve trailing behind him.
"Buck-
"Быстрее" [move] he ordered, carrying you close to his chest and sitting in his designated on the spot on the jet. He didn't say a word as the others filed in, growling when Tony didn't start the engine up fast enough. No one dared look in your direction, not wanting to make the wrong move and happy that Bucky had busied himself with looking over your injuries, mumbling in Russian while letting his hand brush over your cheek.
As soon as the jet touched the ground, he was on his feet and carrying you over to the medbay, refusing to set you down until he saw a doctor ready to help. While it wasn't exactly protocol to have him in the operating room while the doctors worked, no one was interested in arguing back with him when he placed himself in a corner, watching intently. His blue eyes which were normally filled with warmth and softness were now stone cold, eyeing every single movement of what was being done to you, his gaze relaxing when the surgeon gave him a shaky thumbs up.
He sat by your side the entire time, gear still strapped to his body, watching the steady beep of your heart monitor while you slept, the rest of the team quietly waiting outside. Sam peered in, quickly retreating back when Bucky glowered at him, getting up and closing the door so you could rest. He and Steve continued to peep through the little glass window, immediately ducking when they could feel steel blue eyes watching him.
"Do we try and help or-
"I don't want to die yet, also based on what I'm seeing, y/n in the safest place she could be"
You sighed happily as you blinked awake, feeling hazy as if you were floating upon the softest of clouds. The room was bright and clean, you could have been in heaven for all you knew.
Or you were just high as a kite from all the pain killers.
Then you saw him beside you.
Such a gorgeous man.
Handsome.
One who gave you butterflies with shy smiles.
"Soldat" You giggled, reaching over to stroke his scruffy cheek, brushing your thumb over the scowl on his lips, "Hi" You admired his sharp jaw, idly tracing over his features while his mouth twitched into something of a smile, all his muscles finally relaxing seeing you awake.
You yawned, stretching yourself out like a kitten out before rolling over with a flop to face the very pretty man who was sitting at your bedside. Your admiration was cut short with the rumble of your tummy.
There was only one thing you wanted now.
"Soldat, I want chicken nuggies" You demanded, the growl of your stomach solidifying your request. He simply nodded, getting up and out of his seat, making his way over to the one place he knew you'd want your "nuggies" from.
"H-how may I h-help you" The Mc Donald's cashier stared at the numerous guns and knifes strapped to the infamous soldier, his metal arm pointing to a kids meal combo that came with a 6 piece nugget.
A little red box was placed in front of him at lightening speed but that wasn't good enough. He peered into the bag, frowning when he saw a toy that you already had. He grabbed it and placed it back onto the counter, staring at the trembling employee while they rummaged to find a new one, grabbing fistfuls and stuffing into the bag instead. The soldier nodded when he was given one you didn't have before, making his way back to ensure you were fed.
It didn't take long for the news outlets to catch on that the Winter Soldier was out buying Happy Meals.
*Tony's suit, Thors hammer, Steve's now broken shield and some gentle deprogramming later*
"Still want more nuggies" You murmured against Bucky's chest, still a little hazy while he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.
"I'll always get you chicken nuggies, doll"
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky banres imagine#bucky barnes x fluff#winter soldier x you#winter soldier x reader#bucky barnes winter soldier#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky fan fic#bucky fan fiction#bucky fandom#bucky fanfic#avenger fanfiction#avengers fluff#avengers fanfiction#avengers fanfic
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₊˚ʚ 🌱 little sunshines au. masterlist
a jjk au where domestic fluff and parenthood are the main tropes.
fluff‐parents au. ₊˚⊹ ᰔ non sorcerer/curse au, domesticity, use of nicknames for the babies (nugget, mochi, squirt), mom!reader, mentions of pregnancy
all kids remain unnamed, apart from the already existing ones
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐ɢᴏᴊᴏ sᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ
head of the gojo clan. after marrying his wife, he locked her in his estate with him. she ended up popping three healthy babies in the span of five years.
notes:
his precious mochi consist of two boys, aged 5 and 2 years old, and an eight month old baby girl—the three of them look like satoru
your two boys are huge fans of 'fishies'
kiss it better
something's fishy
mama's day
crybaby
cannibalism
mama's day... again?
—
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐ɢᴇᴛᴏ sᴜɢᴜʀᴜ
the geto residence had been nothing but a girly sanctuary for the past few years. suguru, as the only man, faced a harsh reality check when the latest addition to his family, a baby boy, stole the hearts of every girl in his home.
notes:
suguru is so used to handling girls that he's still a bit lost with his little boy
the baby wants you all the time, and suguru is a little sad that he's not being favored
joyride
—
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐ғᴜsʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴛᴏᴊɪ
his biggest nightmare came true once his baby girl began to talk. she keeps him on his toes, a little princess that easily empties her daddy's wallet by asking for toys—expensive ones.
notes:
your baby girl wants to do everything you do: hair, makeup, nails. toji grows a gray hair each time she demands to get her tiny toes painted like mama
tsumiki (6) likes to say that the baby (2) is her doll, and little megumi (4) makes sure his puppies watch over his baby sister while she naps
!! technically speaking, toji's still a zenin + megumi and tsumiki are yours. so they'll be referenced as the zenin's/zenin kids !!
strawberry shortcake
copycat
dogs out
—
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐ʀʏᴏᴍᴇɴ sᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ
his home has not known peace ever since his wife gave birth to their twins, a boy and a girl. he barely made it out of the 'terrible twos' unscathed, but now that they're three and way more talkative, he's starting to reconsider his life decisions.
notes:
the boy is a menace, always play fighting with his dad, while the girl is shy and cries around him
both toddlers get pretty calm and soft around you. sukuna says you hexed them
!! for the sake of the plot, sukuna is jin's brother, making him an itadori. choso and yuuji are step brothers (choso is kaori's son) !!
uncle yuuji
ugly mornings
mall santa
—
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ
preschool teacher with a concerning amount of patience. all of the kids know him because he's their art and crafts teacher, a very popular class among the children.
notes:
first grade (2-3 year olds): itadori twins, gojo's youngest son, and zenin's youngest daughter.
second grade (4-5 year olds): gojo's eldest son, megumi, and yuuji.
third grade (6 year olds): tsumiki, nanako, and mimiko.
first day
be my valentine?
#₊˚ʚ 🌱 little sunshines au#𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾ ‧₊˚☁️ skye#sunny skies#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#toji x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk gojo#jjk geto#jjk toji#jjk sukuna#jjk fluff#gojo x you#geto x you#toji x you#sukuna x you#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#gojo fluff#geto fluff#sukuna fluff#toji fluff
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warnings: everyone is aged up 21+, afab/fem reader, reader is nagi's girlfriend, cheating, weed smoking, piv sex, degradation kink, spit kink, begging, drugged sex, creampie, couch sex, guilty confessions synopsis: You show up at Reo's front door soaked from the rain and sobbing into his chest. After a fight with your boyfriend, you run into the arms of his best friend and quickly get over one man for another.
note: this is a commission for the darling @antique-remains!! thank you again for commissioning me and trusting me with this idea, and it being my first time writing reo/bllk!! i did have so much fun with this i love this downbad loser hehe enjoy~♡ minors & ageless blogs dni - you will be blocked
Reo shares everything with Nagi.
They share similar interests, goals and ideals. Shared living spaces, bathrooms, toothbrushes. On occasion they've shared a bed, shared food with one another, shared dark secrets no one else knows about.
So why does he feel an intense bout of guilt when Nagi's girlfriend is riding his cock?
Paper splits against Reo's fingers for the fourth time and he growls in frustration, clenching his jaw to stop a childish temper tantrum. He's one of the best, most sought after soccer players in the world, and yet he can't seem to effectively roll his own joints. Something that was supposed to relax him during the off season is becoming another pain in his ass. Nagi's words ring around in his head mockingly, grimacing at the fact he turned down having them rolled for him because he thought he could do it himself.
Unfolding the destroyed craft and spilling the ground nuggets onto a fresh roll of paper, Reo is soon distracted by the doorbell notification on his phone. It's a weekday evening and he planned to spend it alone — that plan turned around pretty quickly when he saw you on the other side of the camera.
After ogling at your pretty face — entirely ignoring the way your lips are drawn into a frown, arms wrapped around yourself in rain-drenched clothes — Reo realises you're on your own.
It's rare to see Nagi without you since you're often his point of authority, encouraging and babysitting him into training and attending other events. It's even rarer to see you without Nagi.
Reo is eager to open the door, catching you easily in his arms when you throw yourself at him. His heart races, thumping wildly in his chest. You've never been this close to him before and despite soaking his clothes, he couldn't be happier for the contact.
"Where's Nagi?" He asks before anything else.
It's then he realises you're sobbing into his chest. Words muffled by his shirt as he catches "Sei" "fight" and "kicked me out" between jumbled cries. While he often tries to stay out of his best friend's private life, Reo can't help but feel sorry for you; a damsel in distress in need of being saved. This will gain him favour with both you and Nagi.
The cold rain transfers from your clothes to his but he wraps both his arms around you anyway, pulling you inside and pushing the door closed. Each of your sobs echoed throughout the near empty mansion, bouncing off of white marble walls and back to Reo. Of course seeing you upset tugs at his heartstrings, but he can't help himself from being entranced with the way your chest is pressed against him.
While you're in his guest room changing into some dry clothes, Reo returns to the living room and contemplates texting Nagi about your whereabouts. He knows his best friend well, and even if he doesn't show care or worry outwardly, it's likely that Nagi will begin to wonder and worry where you've gone — especially if all your friends report back that you aren't with them. The idea is tossed out of the window and subsequently blasted into space when you walk into the living room. Hair still a little damp from rain, your make-up cleaned up, you fit into one of Reo's old football kits a little too well.
"Thanks for letting me borrow these." You say with a grateful smile, making yourself comfortable on the couch. The shorts ride up your thighs when you pull your legs onto the couch to sit sideways, nylon tightening around supple flesh and Reo can't help but stare.
Snapping out of his trance, Reo beams. "It's okay, anything for my best friend's girlfriend." It was a vocal reminder to himself.
Looking down at the egregiously expensive coffee table that houses his failed craft, Reo sighs short through his nose and drops to the floor to return to rolling. The mansion is silent and empty — no music, no TV playing in the background, no one else roaming around fulfilling their paid duties. It gave you an opportunity to watch, crawling onto the floor next to him; not close enough to touch him but not too far away either.
"What're you doing?"
Looking up he catches your gaze, heart fluttering as he wonders if you're looking at him like that on purpose. A sultry smile, curious eyes, your body leaning towards him ever so slightly. Every night he thinks about you; the way you look at him compared to anyone else, how your hands feel on his arms when you laugh a little too loud at something he's said. Sometimes it's hard to remember you're Nagi's girl and not his — unavailable, off limits, out of bounds.
Yet you allow him to do and say certain things to you that would earn him a fist to the jaw if it were anyone else.
His hands would find their way onto your hips if he passes behind you at the club or an event, the same hands resting low on your back when he hugs you. He compliments your outfits in a way only your lover would — Reo pushes the boundaries every day. By now Nagi should've said something — or you — but to maintain favour with his best friend especially and keep his football career, Reo tries to hold himself back on a tight leash.
The paper tears in his hands again, though this time he had hardly begun to roll. Instead, he was lost in his racing thoughts and battling a dry mouth after locking eyes with you, a little too rough with the delicate material. There's a furrow of his brows as he looks down in frustration, threading fingers through his long fringe and tossing his loose hair back. "I'm trying to roll but I keep breaking it. I should've asked Nagi to help."
There was an apology on the tip of his tongue at mentioning your boyfriend who you're upset with, but when he looks up, you seem entirely unfazed. Instead, you reach out and slide the broken paper towards yourself, taking control of the task and rolling with ease. Reo watches the way your fingers move so nimbly. It was like watching a professional at work. Sweat begins to build across his forehead seeing the peek of your tongue wet the paper. You smile as you hold the joint out towards him by the tip; easy work when he'd been trying and failing for the past half hour.
"Thanks," He says almost breathless as he tries to ease his aching heart. "I didn't know you knew how to roll."
You shrug. Careless, casual and cool. Reo can't look at you. Rather, he tries to find his lighter and remind himself you are not available, you are not single.
But the challenge makes you all the more tempting.
"Sei taught me when we first started dating." The way you say his name shouldn't be a stab in Reo's gut like it is. "Are you planning on sharing?"
Your smile was so sweet and mischievous as you looked from the joint to Reo — as though he would ever say no.
He lights up and draws a couple of breaths, passing the joint to you. When your fingers brush against one another, he inhales a little too fast, causing him to cough uncontrollably. You giggle and take your own drag, inhaling and exhaling with ease before checking if he's okay.
"Yeah," Reo gasps out as he nods, "Bad take."
Passing the joint back and forth, you each take your turn until Reo hit the filter, stubbing out the last of the flames in the ashtray. He felt a little more at ease, though expected the effects to keep kicking in. When your eyes meet — because you had been staring at him for his attention and Reo was trying not to indulge in his fantasies — you giggle and lean forward.
"Reo~" You sing, face so close to his he can feel your breath on his lips. It feels shameful to smile at your proximity but he couldn't help it.
"Yeah?"
"Why are we sitting on the floor? Are we teenagers?"
He licks his lips and balls his hands into fists at his sides, screaming internally not to reach out and lick your lips. Instead, Reo huffs out a laugh, responding in a low voice. "I was hoping to channel my inner teenager when rolling."
You hum and lose your balance, leaning forward with your legs at an awkward angle from being sat down, but your hands planted on the floor between you both. Whether you lost it purposely or not is unclear, but it results in your nose brushing against his and your lips barely missing each other. With a squeal and laugh you fall into Reo, head landing on his chest while he throws his back, mouthing a curse into the high ceiling of his mansion.
"Whoops! Sorry Reo," You giggle and crawl off of his lap, your hands a little too nice on his thighs. "I forget smoking hits me pretty fast."
Every moment becomes harder to tame himself. This is probably one of the first times you've been alone together — without Nagi, any other friends, paparazzi. It's the perfect opportunity to take what he wants, to indulge in this year's long challenge, but Reo cares about his friend. And he also cares about your relationship with his friend, of course.
Before he possibly gets too high and melts into the floor, Reo stands and reaches out to offer a helping hand. "Let's sit on the couch."
You look so angelic underneath him, even so far away. Hair splayed out across his floor, a wide smile on your face, vulnerable. Giggling, you reach out and let him help you up and throw yourself onto the couch. Reo is quick to follow, placing himself a comfortable distance from you — though that doesn't last long when you immediately shuffle closer to his side. Your bent knees on the couch are pressing into his thigh, resting your head against the back of the couch, he turns on the TV as a distraction for himself.
A random show plays, one neither of you recognise nor do you care about, honestly. Reo was more focused on keeping his hands to himself, sinking back into the couch and letting his high take effect. It felt like time was moving slow when all he could think about was you. Shuffling in his seat and repositioning his arms a hundred times a minute, he couldn't find a comfortable position that didn't involve his hands spread across your thighs.
When you giggle it pulls him from his thoughts. Turning towards you feels like he's moving in slow motion, as though his eyes are lagging. It takes his brain just as long to process you, realising you're looking at him and just how close you are. He smiles at your presence, laughter bubbling in his chest before sticking his tongue out at you.
Reo doesn't hear his own moan when your lips wrap around his tongue. He barely registers the delicate way your hand cups his face. Eyes falling closed instinctually, he leans in to you, chasing as you pull away. Your lips release him with a suckle, giggling at his flushed features. It doesn't feel real. Did you actually just do that? The sparks that linger on the tip of his tongue tell him it was real, especially the way he tastes you when returning.
Nagi's name is caught in his throat. Swallowed like venomous bile, he tries to convince himself you're not in a relationship with his best friend.
Instead, he mutters, "We shouldn't do that."
You laugh and he feels like a child who said something so naive to an adult. It wasn't your intention but he feels small under your gaze. His high is hitting him so fast — or maybe he lost track of time when telling himself not to give in to impulses.
"Why not?" You play dumb and Reo bites his tongue watching you tilt your head. Acting so cute and innocent, as though you didn't just suck on his tongue like a harlot.
There's a war that rages inside of him; one side fights for his best friend, his teammate who he deeply cares for. The other side fights for his personal desires, arguing that what Nagi doesn't know won't hurt him. You made a move first, not him — though he wouldn't be any better if he didn't stop you.
Reo is an international footballer, he can have anyone he wants. Women fall at his feet all the time. Super models approach him at events and galas for a chance to be with him, the most beautiful women in the world throw themselves at him, he's blessed to have the pick of the litter when it comes to relationships and sex.
Except they're all too easy. Boring and uninteresting. None of them provide a challenge or sense of danger like you do. As gorgeous and ethereal as you are, there's an added layer of risk. It's not so easy to have you. Reo can't have you eating out of the palm of his hand without severe consequences that follow. Although before tonight, you hadn't been handing yourself out on a silver platter for him.
His response is just as childish as he feels. "You know why."
Your grin widens and Reo can't be sure if you're closing in on him again, it feels like his brain is so slow but his heart is so full of excitement and desire. The sparks of your touch still burst like tiny explosions against his cheek and the taste of you lingers as a delicious treat.
"Don't you want to kiss me?"
It's whispered against his lips, a hum of temptation following it. Reo can practically see the words behind his half closed eyelids, it feels like he's going to start drooling if you don't stop him, but there's still a small part of his brain working hard to keep him back. Your nose bumps into his face next to his own and you giggle, a soft and delicate hand finding a place high on his inner thigh — he can't hold back any longer.
Reo kisses you like a man starved. It's aggressive, hungry and desperate. He would devour you right here and now if he could. Your lips are soft and wet against his own, tongues immediately mingling with one another like long lost friends. The way his hands grab onto you and pull you closer is a little more forceful than he intended, causing you to moan in response, noises that Reo swallowed eagerly.
All of this feels like a dream; the hungry kisses, fingers threaded through your hair, the weight of your chest pressed against his as he pulls you closer, your hand palming his half-hard cock through his pants. If he didn't think about it too hard, Reo would convince himself that none of this is real. A wet dream he had one night. He would wake up full of shame covered in his own cum, forced to clean his own bed sheets and shower away the guilt, vowing never to speak of it to anyone.
Except it's real.
Much like he swallowed all your moans, you happily accept all of his noises. The curse that's croaked out against your lips in a brief moment of respite causes you to smile, dragging your thumb along the underside of his cock that stands from your attention, sucking on his bottom lip with a hum.
"Still don't think we should do this?" You ask and it momentarily sobers Reo. He blinks and sees you so clearly, thinking about Nagi and all the times he's seen you both share a kiss. It must have shown on his face because you laugh, pulling back to lie across the couch, thumbs hooked under the elastic waistband of his shorts you're wearing. "What's the matter? Don't want to fuck your best friends girlfriend?"
You shouldn't say it — it only makes his cock harder. Twitching against the fabric of his pants, hot and heavy, Reo groans and pants like a dog. His eyes grow hazy as his mind begins to lag again, wiping his mouth where it feels like he's drooling. Your giggle bounces around the walls of his skull like a pleasant symphony. Even your foot on his chest that's keeping him from closing in on you feels like heaven. Reo wraps his fingers around your ankle, pulling your foot up towards his face. It feels right when his lips find your delicate skin, missing the way you pull down his shorts with underwear in tow, dragging his tongue and teeth along flesh.
"I didn't know you were into feet, Reo." You tease and Reo feels the heat on his cheeks. Fire on his face, it burns and grows when you hook your leg over his to straddle his lap. It's instinctual the way his hands grab your hips. "You're a little freak, aren't you?"
Talking feels impossible because none of this feels real. Mouth dry and at the same time oozing with saliva, Reo's mind roaming a mile a minute yet he lags in processing what's happening. Every few seconds it feels as though he's forgotten it's you in front of him. Hazy and angelic, he's living through a dream.
And at the same time, everything feels so very real. Your skin under his fingertips is like touching silk. The weight of you in his lap brings about a sense of comfort he hasn't felt since he was a child. Every slight motion of your hips against his cock is like fireworks.
Reo can and can't believe this is happening.
"I'm into anything you want, baby." He says, the words forcefully pushed out between the invisible cloth pressed against his tongue.
A collective gasp fills the room when his cock is freed from his pants. You were surprised and excited at just how thick and hard he was, while he drew breath between his teeth from the relief. Stroking him in a languid motion pulls out a long moan deep within his chest.
"Tell me what you want." You tease, still sitting in his lap with his cock in your hand, so close to your exposed cunt. "Tell me you want to fuck me. Say how much you want to fuck Sei's girlfriend." There's a curse that falls off of Reo's lips when you squeeze his sensitive head — he's forced to hold his breath to keep a squeak from following. "Come on, say it. You wanna fuck your best friends girl."
His head spins, flashes of Nagi swirling through his mind, an attempt to connect to his consciousness. The horny part of his brain is too much, though it still proves difficult for him to say it.
"Please…" Reo murmurs, throwing his head back and closing his eyes, as though it will keep him safe from judgement.
"Not what I asked." You squeeze his tip again, leaning in to bite his bottom lip. "How bad do you want it?"
"…Bad, really bad."
Reo's hands on your hips tighten, pulling you closer with a whine. "Then say it."
Never has a handjob felt so good and Reo fears he might cum already if you keep stroking him like this. Each swipe is an adrenaline rush, a pleasant punch to his gut. Grinding his teeth, he leans into you, face buried in the crook of your neck.
"I want…I wanna fuck you."
"You wanna fuck who?" Your free hand laces through his hair and Reo feels like he could cry.
"You, please."
"Who am I to you?"
His balls tighten and he's forced to take a breath and focus on not cumming and speaking.
"Nagi's girlfriend."
You hum. "Good boy."
How Reo didn't cum as soon as you began to sink down on his cock, he may never know. Teeth clenched, body taut beneath you, he closes his eyes and breathes deep through his nose. You're so warm and tight and wet, it's everything and more than he ever imagined. Everything has been amplified to the max; his cock hypersensitive to every little move you make, feeling the way your walls flutter ever so slightly as you begin moving, hearing each tiny pitch change as you breathe.
Of course he enjoys sex but this was different. Whether it's because it was with you or because he was high, Reo felt like he was in the clouds.
You bounce on his cock so easy, finding a solid rhythm fast and sticking to it as your thighs meet in the steady pattern. He didn't even have to do anything — just enjoy the sight before him, watch the way your tits bounce beneath one of his old football shirts. Reo's eyes were glazed over as he held onto your hips, convinced he was drooling like an animal despite his arm remaining dry whenever he wiped his lips.
It's sickening what you're doing. Cheating on a good man like Nagi. Having a fight and being kicked out for the evening isn't an excuse to fuck your boyfriends best friend. Reo wonders if you did this on purpose. Was your intention to come over and seduce him this whole time? Sure, he's been caught by you with wandering eyes and overly friendly hands but that's innocent. Never did it lead to this.
At the same time, Reo can't deny how his cock drooled over your hand when you forced him to tell you how much he wants to fuck you.
Even your moans are more heavenly than he ever expected. It's shameful the thoughts he's had about it, replaying everything you've ever said, every noise he's heard you make in an attempt to imagine what you'd sound like in this position. It's better than any music. Like a blessing, he needs to hear it over and over again.
You smile at Reo as you bounce in his lap, kissing him with hunger akin to a starving beast. It feels like you'd eat him alive if you could — shamefully, he'd let you.
Reo follows the kiss when you pull back, unwilling to let you escape him just yet. Your hips had stopped moving and he was left buried deep in your pussy, helplessly twitching against your warm walls, he leaks against your cervix. Wrapping his arms around you, Reo moans into your mouth, head tilted all the way back. When you finally pull away, you hold his mouth open with a thumb on his chin. The lavender of his eyes is almost entirely overshadowed by the size of his pupils, watching as you purse your lips and roll your tongue. Reo happily accepts the spit that's slowly hanging from your mouth into his, groaning when it hits his tongue. The taste of you is delectable. You giggle and follow your saliva, tracing your tongue along his to spread yourself all over his mouth.
Disgusting, immoral, so fucking good.
His hips begin to move into you, thrusting in the non-existent space he occupies between you and the couch. More, more, more. He can do this all day but he needs to feel you moving, to memorise the way your walls clench around him, permanently etch your moans of his name into his memories.
In a flurry of motion, you're flipped onto your back. Reo is quick to follow, not for a moment did he let you detach from his cock or his mouth when he moves you. The thump of your head hitting the arm of the couch rattles your brain but the pleasant high that fogs your mind blurs the pain. It's exciting when Reo takes over and fucks you how he wants, because he's relentless.
Much faster than when you were riding him, Reo fucks you like winning the world cup is on the line. He pulls out until just the tip is still inside of you, quickly and forcefully burying himself back into your heat, his pubes flush against your clit. Panting into your open mouth like a dog, Reo is at your mercy.
You cry out in pleasure, moaning his name like it's the only word you've ever known. It makes his eyes roll, balls tightening in his sack, his hands gripping onto your hips so hard you're bound to bruise. Reo has wanted this for years. Ever since he first laid eyes on you, he knew he wanted you sheathed on his cock.
When you wrap your arms around his neck and throw your head back, he honestly believes he's in love.
Your walls pulse around him violently, clenching and releasing, daring to milk him for all he's worth. He's on the edge and he's been staving it off this entire time. Never does he want this to end but seeing you finish like this was all worth it. His teeth drag against your throat, feeling you flex underneath him, you tighten around his cock as you whimper. He doesn't relent — all he wants is to fill you to the brim with his seed.
Licking, biting, kissing. Reo tries desperately to remind himself that he can't mark you. You're not his and the fact only makes his cock throb. Each stroke along your walls makes him dizzier, losing his grip on you and reality itself. Finally, he lets go, burying himself deep as he cums inside you.
Half expecting the post-nut clarity to hit, Reo is elated to find the haze still clouding his mind. Never has he experienced such elation. His mouth finds yours again in a lazy, hungry kiss and you moan into his touch. If he could remain like this forever, then Reo might never have any problems ever again.
Reo has a problem and it won't leave him alone.
Every night he struggles to sleep. His training coach has begun to point out the bags that rest under his eyes, scolding him for sloppy footwork and lack of speed. All his moves are sluggish and no amount of berating is helping him get his act together. When he's forced to sit on the sides and watch the rest of his team practise, he's left stewing on his own thoughts.
It was the best and worst night of his life. He thinks about it constantly, stroking himself to completion over and over again to the thought of you on top of him, remembering how you felt around his cock. The way you say his name, how sweet your moans are.
Then he remembers Nagi.
No one has mentioned it since. You haven't brought it up or tried to contact him about the night, not even to tell him to keep it a secret. That much was obvious but he thought you'd say something. He's seen Nagi numerous times since the incident and he seems none the wiser. Treating Reo like he normally does with a lazy attitude and disinterest. The normalcy puts him on edge more than ease his worries.
"You look tired."
It's embarrassing the way Reo jumps out of his skin upon hearing Nagi. Hoping that he didn't notice, Reo chuckles and offers a light "Yeah," in response, returning to changing into his regular clothes.
"Being tired is such a hassle."
With his back to Nagi, Reo rolls his eyes and grits his teeth. It's hard to look at his best friend these days — for obvious reasons — nevermind talk to him. He was hoping Nagi would take the subtle hint that he's too tired to talk.
"Yeah," Reo repeats, "It's hard sleeping with the season coming up."
There's a hum and for a moment, Reo believes Nagi has realised he doesn't want to talk.
"Normally you're excited."
Reo stuffs his sweaty kit into his locker; a worry for another day. Right now he needs to get out of the locker room and away from Nagi.
It feels like his chest is being torn apart. Hands clawing at his ribs, breaking one at a time, clambering to extract his organs so the guilt he feels can make a comfortable home. It's hard to breathe, hard to think of anything but Nagi's girlfriend moaning in his mouth. You were so beautiful. How can something so perfect cause him such guilt?
"Mikage?"
Finally, Reo turns and looks at Nagi.
He's laid across the benches in the changing room, shirtless with a sweat towel that once hung around his neck. As usual, his phone was settled between his hands, pointed at him but it's likely he's in between games. Nagi's face doesn't move while looking at Reo. There's no sign of life when his best friend's heart is painfully shown on his sleeve.
Reo slams his locker door shut, head hung low as he gasps for air. He can't say it. There's no way. Nagi will abandon him — as he deserves. The scandal will be blasted all over the media. He'll become public enemy number one and forcibly removed from his team. His football career will be over already and Reo will never know happiness ever again.
But he can't keep feeling like this for the rest of his life. It will kill him eventually.
Swallowing thick, he inhales and lets loose.
"I fucked your girlfriend!"
The changing room is painfully silent. Reo shouted the words with his eyes firmly shut. There's no way he'd be able to look at Nagi as he said it. His head hangs low again, staring at his feet and awaiting the barrage of consequences that he should face. There's immediate relief in his chest after the confession, but the longer the silence draws out, the more nauseous Reo becomes.
When Nagi still doesn't respond, Reo is forced to look up. It's hard — harder than looking at him with his secret — but Reo looks at his best friend. His face is unchanged; the same lidded eyes staring back at him, mouth pressed in a neutral and relaxed pose, staring blankly at Reo.
"I know."
Reo isn't sure how his legs are keeping him upright. His whole body feels like it's collapsing and he can't pinpoint any of what he's feeling. Relief? Regret? Confusion? Speechless. Baulking at his best friend, any and all words are stuck in his throat.
Eventually, he croaks out, "You know?"
Nagi hums, returning to his game and tapping away with his thumbs; as though Reo hadn't just confessed an affair with his girlfriend.
"What does that mean?" Reo asks breathlessly, watching as Nagi sits up, still focused on his game.
"It was my idea." He answers easily before standing and approaching the washroom. "Going for a soak. Bye. Peace."
Two fingers are thrown Reo's way, a friendly gesture before he disappears down the hall. Reo is left by himself in the changing rooms to process the information, tormented by a new slough of emotions that he's going to have a hard time processing by himself.
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