#man. i remember when i was 15. good times. hope u have fun buddy. even if u are a horror

[gaillol-13]

Rn I don't have any fanart for Annoying Orange's B day (I'm still in my tad hyperfixation), so take this last minute present.

Happy 15th Birthday, Annoying Orange!

[jjkfangirl]

toji makes you squirt for the first time

Toji Fushiguro is your fuck buddy. You kind of hate him, because he's a deadbeat (and for some reason is cocky about it,) but he's a great fuck and hot as hell - so you enjoy fucking him for fun. Lots of late night booty calls and WYD texts. He generally fucks the shit out of you and then leaves - tonight is no different.

I just know of all the men in jjk toji would be the one that would just literally walk up to you, finger fuck the shit out of you effortlessly til you squirt, and then act like it was no big deal. and he'd be so fucking cocky about it too.

You were out for drinks with friends earlier in the evening when you stupidly decided to send Toji Fushiguro a “wyd” text around 9pm.

It wasn't that you regretted it.. it was just that if you were honest with yourself, he was kind of a piece of shit. Your relationship with Toji was a guilty pleasure... one that would never amount to anything more than casual sex. 

You may have semi hated him and his cocky-ass demeanor, but god.. god damn he was fucking hot. And such a good fuck, too.

By 9:15 you were sneaking off to the girls bathroom to text him a little up-skirt shot and another one with your shirt pulled up, breasts partially out, and tits pressed together with a cute little winky kissy face. It didn't take much to entice him to come over anyway, but you felt like being a little extra flirty this evening.

Maybe it was the alcohol.

You hit send and within 60 seconds had a reply: “i'll be at ur place in 40 mins. u better not be wearing panties when I get there”

FUCK. The response had your pussy fucking throbing. 

Ten minutes later, you were in the backseat of a cab on the way home. You were sitting with your legs crossed, rubbing your thighs together slightly and clenching your muscles trying desperately to get a little friction to your clit. You kept thinking about his broad shoulders and muscular arms.. the way he would pick you up with ease and throw you around. His large hands. How tall he was.. how big and thick his cock was.. all the ways he'd rag-doll fuck you. How he had this ability to somehow effortlessly get you off multiple times, every single time, all with this little fucking cocky half grin (which you loved and hated.)

For some reason, that fucker just knew exactly what to do to get you off. And he confidently did, every time.

You were lost in your fantasy of him when the cab driver said (for the second time,) “We're here, Miss.” Shaking your head slightly out of your wet-daydream, you thanked him and slid out of the car – secretly hoping you didn't leave a wet spot on the leather seats.

You were fully soaked through your panties at the thought of Toji.

You quickly got yourself in the house, went to the bathroom to freshen up, and laid down on the couch. Remembering his orders, you pulled your slick soaked panties off your legs and tossed them on the coffee table. You had a feeling he might like seeing those when he came in the door.

You shot him a quick text: “doors unlocked” and waited for him to arrive. Lazily fondling your nipples and grazing across your clit through your skirt. You wondered what he might have planned ��� if anything. 

Right around 10, Toji showed up.

He knocked at the door and then promptly entered.

The tall man who crossed the threshold into your living room was wearing dark straight leg jeans, boots, and a light gray sweater. You could see his traps and collar bones just above the loose neck of the shirt. His broad shoulders, chest, and biceps nearly stretching the sweater to its limit. You could smell that he had just showered, and his hair still looked a little wet as it fell into his face. 

Toji's eyes shot around the room - noting the panties on the coffee table with a smirk – and then finally settled on your body sprawled out on the couch. You had yourself propped up on a few pillows, one knee bent and leaning against the back cushions, the other was lazily spread open, foot hanging off the couch. You weren't sure, but you hoped he was getting a little glimpse of your pussy from under your dark navy blue pleated skirt.

And just as you expected, there was his cocky fucking grin, accented by a small scar around his mouth. You never asked how he got that.

“Missed me, huh?” he grinned and came to sit down at the couch. “You just can't get enough of me these days, can you?” He leaned in closer.

“Oh just.. Shut the fuck up Toji,” you said with a dramatic eye roll. 

He sniggered and grabbed the panties off the table, “I see you listened to my directions. Good girl.”

You struggled to keep yourself from smiling at the praise, shaping your lips into something of a pursed smug half-smile.

“Go on. Lemme see.” he smirked, eyes darting down to your skirt's hemline and back up to your face.

You rolled your lips in, slightly biting on your lower lip as you released them. Your hand made its way down to your skirt hem and ever-so-slowly began pulling it up with one finger. You enjoyed teasing Toji as much as you could. Bratting a little bit, even, just trying to get some kind of reaction out of him.

Toji growled out a “mmmmmm” as his eyes feasted on your wet pussy. He quickly tossed the panties in his hand behind him, and they landed somewhere on the floor across the room. “Can I...?” he asked gently, tracing his hand lightly along the inside of your bent thigh. You nodded, “mmhm” once again biting your lips to keep yourself from smiling.

Toji traced his fingers lightly along your inner thighs, your ass, and your pelvis – avoiding everywhere you actually wanted him to touch you. That fucking bastard.

You loved it though. Your pussy clenched and you were sure he could see it from the way he was studying the view under your skirt as he teased you relentlessly. Your breathing got a little harder.

“Hm.. seems like you want something y/n.. wanna tell me what that is?”

He got another eye roll from you in response as you quickly grabbed your skirt and pushed it down between your legs, covering your heat.

Toji grabbed your hands with his so quickly you didn't even realize what was happening before he had them pinned over your head. “Tsk tsk tsk.. what's that all about? You little fucking brat. I know you want this.” That fucking cocky smirk was plastered all over his face once again. Your eyes rolled. His other hand reached down and flipped the front of your skirt up once again as he met your eyes.

You loved playing these stupid games with Toji... always trying to get him worked up enough that he'd start man handling you and throwing you around.

And it always fucking worked.

Toji took a finger and wet it in his mouth. He pressed gently down on the top of your clit, and then slowly slid it down your wet slit, pausing just outside the opening. “You may be acting like you don't want this, you little brat, but your pussy is telling me otherwise.” You licked your lips and bit the bottom one in response. You were sure you were incredibly slick - he could have shoved multiple fingers in your slick hole all at once – you had honestly been wet since that text he sent an hour ago when you were at the bar.

“Nothing to say, hm?” as he slid a finger into you, rotating it and curling it up to touch that heavenly spot inside of you.

You took a deep sigh and let out a breathy moan on the exhale. 

“Oh.. fuuckk” you whimpered as he started to slowly pump his finger inside of you, curling the tip around to hit your g-spot. You felt butterflies forming in your stomach, almost getting light headed at the sensation.

“That's what I thought.” he said confidently, still pinning your wrists over your head and caging you into the couch – face about a foot from yours.

He watched intently as your breathing picked up the pace and you started to squirm under his touch. Trying to fuck yourself down onto his finger as much as you could even though he had you pinned from above.

Toji lifted himself up to have better leverage over you, while still pinning your wrists. He was now kneeling with one knee between your legs, the other foot on the floor off the couch. He slid a second finger in carefully, never looking away from your face. You could tell he enjoyed seeing what kind of response he could get out of you as he controlled your body so expertly. God he was good - but something about how confident he was really pissed you off.

You loved it as much as you hated it.

His two fingers milked you rhythmically as his dark blue eyes bored into yours. The eye contact was intense, and you were sure your pupils were blown out black with lust and your cheeks and chest were flushed with heat. Your moans got louder and louder the more rough he got with his hands.

Toji picked up the pace even faster, and your moans and cries got louder and more unhinged. His two curved fingers began pumping up and down inside of you, hitting the same spot over and over and over. He was unrelenting, even as you squirmed and squealed beneath him, trying to pull away. 

“Toji.. Toji.. Toji.. ah.. fuck! Fuck! S'too much.. shit!” you cried out while writhing beneath him.

He just smiled and kept finger fucking the shit out of you. Never letting up, never changing what he was doing, and still pinning you down by the wrists. The control and stamina he had was absolutely insane.

You started to feel something a little unfamiliar growing inside your core. It felt like an orgasm, but you weren't sure. Were you about to squirt? It was so overstimulating, you had no idea how to even respond outside of squealing and screaming and crying out – words completely escaped you. This man had full fucking control over your body, and you were completely at his mercy.

Toji went even faster, faster than you thought was humanely possible. Just then, you cried out, and gushed and squirted around his fingers. “Fuuu-uuu—c-kkk... Tojiiiiiii fuck!” juices squirted out of you and drenched the sofa and the bottom of your skirt as you released. Toji quickly took his hand off of your wrists and began frantically rubbing your clit with the flats of his fingers. He started pumping his other hand in and out of you and another release quickly followed the first. You clenched and throbbed around his fingers, tremors rolling through your entire body, hips bucking and rutting into his hands. The whole thing was so overstimulating you weren't even sure what happened.

But... Toji did. That fucker.

“I knew I was going to get you to squirt tonight.” He said, sighing and plopping himself down on the couch after releasing his fingers from your soaking wet cunt. He was very much satisfied with himself and the reaction he drew from your body.

Your face was bewildered, “Wh—wha-- um... what?”

“What's wrong?” he laughed, “You've never squirted before?” he mocked.

You were literally speechless. You didn't even think that was something you could do. You weren't even sure it was real prior to this moment. You were also certain your face probably looked stupid as you tried to mentally and physically collect yourself and piece yourself back together. All while that mother fucker laid back, admiring the mess he made of you.

“Um.. no.. wow I..I.. I didn't even know I could do that.” You finally laughed. 

“Well good thing you called me up, right? God, you made a fucking mess. You might want to clean that up or you might end up with a stain on this couch.” He slapped the seat cushion and you wanted to fucking punch him.

“You had this planned and you couldn't have put a towel down??” You still were laying back on the couch, dumbfounded, numb and tingling from your releases, only just barely getting the ability to piece sentences together.

Toji laughed, “Couldn't ruin the surprise now, could I?”

He got an eye roll in response.

[mar-iiposa]

prompt: just some fun headcanons I thought up ! hope that you all enjoy ! feel free to request all you'd like, my friends !!

Leonardo

this man loves his bonsais so much

he literally gives you one once you're into the relationship for quite some time now

bonsais are practically his babies. he loves them. maybe more than you. maybe not

you hope not

"thank you for trusting me with your babies"

"y/n, they're not my babies-"

"yeah, okay, sure"

they are his "babies"

a must for being his s/o is that you have to know how to defend yourself

"remember: strike, scream, and run!"

"...was that a reference to The Office?"

"no, of course not-"

it is

very picky and specific about your form while you workout

ESPECIALLY WITH PUSHUPS BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT: they can be a bitch sometimes

tells you how you're not going down enough when you do your push ups

says that you "should be close enough to the floor that you could kiss it"

"would you be jealous then?"

critiques your form and posture

but it's out of love and good-doing

speaking of picky,

he is incredibly picky with food sometimes. has to be a certain way and with certain ingredients or he'll give it to mikey since he can eat anything

he will eat anything for a dare ^ (mikey)

leo once ate an egg sandwich and when he bit into it, he bit into a literal eggshell

not only a tiny piece, an entire eggshell (happened to me and I am still scarred)

he hasn't trusted those sandwiches ever again and refuses to eat them

felt like he was "betrayed"

that is exactly how he put it

because he can be a total drama queen tbh

everyone knows it

I feel like he either sleeps in really weird positions or flat on his back with his hands folded

no other positions

VERY light sleeper

hears almost everything when you think he is sleeping

he has ears everywhere

favorite candy? cherry jolly ranchers

because he can be a basic bitch tbh

he doesn't really eat candy though

he likes a lot of tea

his tea is the best tea, he smiles like it 24/7

leo remembers the little things, it can be really creepy or really cute

"I can't stop by Tuesday becaus-"

"Because you have that dentist cleaning appointment at 2:15, right?"

how the f u c k-

you could have sworn you briefly mentioned it to him

LAST WEEK

it's great though, because then he'll remember the little details of what you like or dislike

100% bf material

Raphael

he the biggest teddy bear with you, you don't even know

when he starts crushing on you, he'll let you read his comics. mikey can't, so take that as a dub

mikey has his own comics but

raph manages to have some of the best ones

so you get them both really nice comics for Christmas or their birthdays (if you celebrate)

they both love DC comics, mainly batman

because raph does his "batman voice"

that mikey never shuts up about

raph secretly practices said batman voice when no one is around

practice makes perfect

HE ALSO KNITS YOU STUFF, IT'S SO ADORABLE AND THOUGHTFUL OF HIM

you return the favor by learning to crochet a cup holder for him

he doesn't like holding super hot cups

so when he received your gift, he loved it so much

that's when he decided you were most likely "the one"

he really likes to work out and admire his muscles

and the fact he can tower over others in the darkness

whilst doing his impression of the dark knight

he makes sure to keep up with workouts because he loves his muscles

because he notices that you stare at them from time to time

especially when he's bench pressing

he is 100% your workout buddy

motivational coach sometimes too

"ya got this, babe! 'member that raphael is an ass man!"

that's his "motivation for you"

it helps

likes to workout with you because your behind looks good in your leggings

OH BUT IF YOU WORE SPANDEX SHORTS?

he would be flatlining, dead, passed out

favorite candy would be airheads or hot tamales

but despises licorice

"I don't get how people can eat that shit"

"LEAVE LICORICE OUT OF THIS, RAPH-"

donnie defends licorice like his life depends on it

because it does

raph likes to cuddle

likes to be the little spoon but also the big spoon

little spooning makes him feel truly loved though

he would be very artistically talented out of the four

likes old classic art

definitely medieval times art

because have you seen the babies in those paintings?????

he says "they look like mikey"

Donatello

he works so much sometimes that it's insane

living off of caffeine and poptarts right now babyyyy

he'll be on electronics so much that you have to literally tell him when to get off and go to sleep

"you're going to work yourself to death"

"then so be it"

"dONNIE, NO-"

willl always save un-licked poptarts for you in a special hiding spot near his workplace

it's a hiding spot because of mikey

and god forbid that mikey finds his stash

don will still lick and put the poptarts back in the box for his brothers

but he doesn't lick them for you

how sweet

donnie is a nice singer, his voice is the most calming

raph is the best out of the siblings, but donnie's voice??

it's so gentle and soft

donnie has always wanted a pet ferret or something

but they literally get into all of your stuff

he can't risk that and his stuff getting thrown and tampered with

they already have a mikey for that

DEFENDS LICORICE TO THE END

his favorite candies consist of nerds and licorice but also tootsie rolls

gives the best massages, hands down

likes to research how to braid and plait hair if yours is long

but if yours is short, he makes sure to know exactly how to give the most amazing scalp massages

his hands work like magic oh my god

smells the best because he likes to also experiment with scents and fragrences

makes you a cute perfume that you love, as a gift :)

his love language??? inventing stuff for you

falls asleep in his chair a lot

so you slowly crawl in there and like to cuddle him

he wakes up to you but pretends he's still asleep when he's in said chair

him and mikey believe birds are government spies

"listen, it makes SENSE!"

"it doesn't, hon-"

"I don't need sleep, I need ANSWERS-"

he loves the movie beauty and the beast

but his favorite movie is definitely something like E.T. or Gremlins

has always wanted his own Gizmo buddy

loves juice boxes. especially grape and apple flavors

believes that apple juice >>> orange juice

and he is correct

Michelangelo

definitely teaches you how to skateboard

likes to hold you by your waist and use it as an excuse to touch you

is a professional at skateboarding

he goes skating with raph in the sewers sometimes, but he is totally the best at it

loves board games too, especially monopoly

gets upset when he gets into jail

but when raph gets in jail?

"HAH! sucks to be in jail, huh raphhhh?"

"shut it before I shut that jaw of yours up the hard way-"

instantly quiet

mikey loves sunflowers and dandelions

still makes wishes with pennies, dandelions, and ladybugs

firm believer that the tooth fairy and santa are still real

you roll with it

not the most artistically talented compared to raph, but he is very creative and full of ideas

areas in the sewers are dedicated to him and raph's artwork

mikey likes to spraypaint and he does it beautifully

raph takes after classical art and applies that to his own techniques

favorite candies? airheads and those sour straws

oh, he loves twinkies and doughnuts though

you make sure to give the turtles and splinter donuts almost every Wednesday when you can

his favorite is with sprinkles

he is totally a sprinkles man

the loudest singer EVER

and loudest does not equal the best

he is very confident though, it is actually admirable if you think about it

BUT IS ONE OF THE BEST BREAKDANCERS

would watch nyc billboards play music videos all the time as a kid, so he picked up dance moves very quickly

but his breakdancing is actually flawless, it's insane

the dude loves to dance any type of dancing

will ask you to make a cameo in the hip hop Christmas album

"please, babeee! you don't even have to sing really! you can, like, use your charmmm!"

"yeah an' how's that goin' for ya, mikey?"

you love this duo

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: “what do you have? “ I have a kNIFE” “NO”

[Specific-Summary]: They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking,

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17) (18) 

L: I May Have Lost Roman

V: nice

P: not nice :)

V: i feel vaguely threatened

Rem:@L how the fuck did you manage that Rem: nvm i know how just give me details

L:I don’t know ? One second we were at check out L: Next minute he was Gone and Nieve is looking suspicious

L:Hold on lemme ask Dmitri

V: why is he there

L: I mean he’s actually pretty chill L: But he dropped Roman off and Nieve got attached L:I’m...not sure if she’s planning on letting him go?

V:logan, my friend, my buddy, V:the only person in this chat with basic reading comprehension

Rem: that’s pretty fair

P: it really is tbh

V: Send. Pictures.

L: Okay L: Slight Issue

V: you lost the snake too

L: I lost Dmitri too and Nieve is not spilling

Rem: oh they’re defeinately fucking

L:...Where? The bathroom?

Rem: Don’t knock it till you try it ;)

V: not to be that guy but im vetoing this discussion V: cause thats a Yikes even for you Remy

L: Alright time to find them

Rem: check ;))) the;))) bathrooms ;;))))

L: Remy.

Rem: alrighlright too far ill stop

L: Thank you.

V: keep me updated V: i only have silence and physics homework as company

L:Huh L:Found them

L: Roman….found a katanna…

V: im sorry WHAT V: Why The Fuck Does He Have A Sword

Rem: drop the location of that store man

L: 1) It’s a Katanna L: 2)I will certainly Not. L: 3) He’s trying to convince Dmitri why he should have it

L…..and Dmitri looks more amused then concerned

V: if I can't have a tarantula he sure as hell cant have a sword

L:I told him it was probably fake/ poorly made and that he should take the time to invest the proper skill in money in a real one

V: goddamit logan you cant logic roman.

L: It worked. He put it back. L: So I say I can do what I want with roman

Rem: some spicy takes from the chats only brain cell ;)

---

“So you’re turning eighteen, in a few months. ” His aunt said, dabbing her cheeks with a napkin. She still managed to hold an air of prestige despite getting utterly shitfaced the night before. Her appointments have been going well.

Dmitri looked up, masking his surprise and holding his tongue.

Dr. Montag looked over, quieting the running water and placing the dish was he was cleaning down, “Really?” he said, brushing his hands, “You got any plans?” he asked, Dmitri.

“Oh we usually do something small,” His aunt interjected, “But seeing as he’s my father’s favorite grandchild,” Only grandchild, “He’s is flying from Paris to join us. And he was never a man of modesty so I’ve been thinking about doing something special for the occasion.”

Oh.

Dmitri fought the smile creeping on his face, ducking his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that she remembered after all if his grandfather was visiting. It’s how he got his phone, laptop, his car.

It’s probably why she puts up with him, to begin with. Cause it wasn’t guilt.

“--We should get your hair cut,” She continued, and Dmitri snapped out of his thoughts, “Maybe invite Diana--he’d like her,” she murmured.

“Diana and I a-” He closed his mouth, and his aunt’s eyes shot over.

“You broke up?” She narrowed her eyes, examining her nails, “Huh, makes sense seeing as...” she gestured at him vaguely, “So who have you been sneaking around with?”

“I’m not sneaking around with anyone,” Dmitri said, meeting her gaze. And technically he was right, it’s not sneaking if she just hasn’t been asking. And he’s given up on telling.

Dr. Montag’s eyebrows knitted together confused,” Well that isn’t true,”

Dmitri’s eyes went wide, stomach sinking.

His Aunt’s grin spread, “Oh really?”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck--

“He’s been helping me out, hon,” Dr. Montag set down a glass of water and pills beside her plate, “You’ve been so stressed lately,” he looked guilty and produced some tickets, “I thought I’d surprise you.”

Her face softened and like that the tension left the room. Those two got to linger in whatever lovey-dovey spell had taken hold of them in the last few months, but Dmitri was still on edge.

She still kept him on edge, but he could get her back. Even the playing field. Anytime he could leave this—Anytime he could flip this switch and put her on edge and make her—

He stopped eating, setting his plate aside.

He felt sick.

---

R:helllloooo R:anyone up R: sigh R: allll by mySELLLLF

L: Roman?

R: the one and lonely yes hello human contact???

L: Are you alright? It’s 3 am why are you still awake?

R: why are YOU up mm????

L: My parents have newborn twins. What’s your excuse?

R: well fuck got me there

R: i was texting dee but he was rlly tired and i stILL can’t sleep

L: Any particular reason?

R: u m

L: Private chat?

R: please

- [TheTruthAboutTheMoon]

TheWalkingMouth: Okay shoot

Cowboy:it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: I’ll tell you if it's stupid or not just say it

Cowboy: i just….like Cowboy: it's all kinda….hitting me a ll at once and i Really don’t like thinking about it but i cant bottle shit up either like you bastards so i feel like the human equivelent og a washing machine with too much laundry in it

TheWalkingMouth: Then don’t? TheWalkingMouth: Even if it's too ‘stupid’ for me I’m sure Dmitri wouldn’t mind

Cowboy: yeah but i feel like im going to say something shitty to him i Cowboy: like we should talk about it Cowboy: and i will Cowboy: but not now--later when it's not too stressful for either of us

TheWalkingMouth: Why would you say something shitty?

Cowboy: idk id jst get frustrated trying to explain it Cowboy: like hes smart as hell and probbaly get it without me saying anything but like Cowboy: I have neither the patience nor articulation right now to explain like a civil person and he doesnt need me being shitty about it

Cowboy:like,,,,,for example,,,,, if he fucks up in school, he’ll get recommended a tutor and teachers would assume hes doing his best and hes such a sweet and quiet boy

Cowboy: like he is sweet!!but hes a little shit too!! And gets away with it!!! Half those pranks he pulled on virgil, as Iconic as they were he never got in trouble for them!!!

Cowboy: when i fuck up i

Cowboy: god it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: Might not get a second chance? Yeah I get it.

TheWalkingMouth:Remember when I first transferred here? None of the teachers would take me seriously bc of my accent and if they did, they were afraid of me. I could repeat something another kid said word for word and still be told I had an attitude.

Cowboy: god i remembered that Cowboy: you answered his yes or no questions in a fuckin montone, quiet ass voice and he legit called in the office cause he got scared of a goddamn freshman

Cowboy: But ye when i fuck up Cowboy: im suddenly the lazy ass brown kid who should spend less time corrupting youth with my feminine hips and curls Cowboy: like it's not like a lot of them say it outright but it feels like if im not perfect im fufilling all the stereotypes

TheWalkingMouth: Ah okay, rant away

Cowboy: OK like like like im not like virgil right?? in a lot of ways and it fuckin shows

Cowboy: he’s been planning on going into engineering since sixth grade meanwhile i only got my shit together in highschool

Cowboy: and like now that im here/???what now??? My mother expects me to have my shit together meanwhile im over here freaking the fuck out over whether not it's worth it to even try Cowboy: like yes mother i want to go to an art/or librel arts school that may or may not accept me that we may or may not afford to find a career in who the hell knows because if i have to sit in a healthcare class or a applied mathmatics class like you did i miight actually shank the professor????

Cowboy: that i dread the thought of not trying to explore my options outside of this fucking state but i dread the thought of going bc i cant stand the thought of being away from home but i cant fucking find a reason to stay cause everyone i love is leaving or planning their own life anyway???

Cowboy: like remys gunna fuck off to who knows where regardless of whether or not he has a plans or money, pattons gunna take care of his grandmother whereever the fuck a canada ,moms moving in with tia, virgils already mentally flipping me off ready to fuck nasa , and i only fucking hope dmitri even getss the chance to choose where he goes but hes g o n e and i die from yearning behind a screen like the gay victorian i am , and you….i actually dont know

TheWalkingMouth: Teaching for either biology or physics

Cowboy: huh it fits but what about chemistry??

TheWalkingMouth: Fuck chemistry.

Cowboy: oh thank god we’re on the same page

TheWalkingMouth: Anyway, I assume you’re more worried about whether you should apply rather then if you could get in?

Cowboy: i think so

TheWalkingMouth: Well if my opinion means anything to you

Cowboy: more than you’re assuming but yeah continue

TheWalkinMouth: Wait

Cowboy: nothing nothing continue

TheWalkingMouth: Okay-- I think you should go for it but you don’t need to dive head first into it and commit to everything 100% like virgil did.

TheWalkingMouth: You’re allowed to keep your options open, to have backup plans for back up plans

TheWalkingMouth: It doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about your art. Doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to get a office job and abandon all your dreams. It means you’re being smart and not backing yourself into a corner

TheWalkingMouth:It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay not to have it all figured out

TheWalkingMouth: Nobody does.

TheWalkingMouth: Even if no one else gives you a second chance at least give yourself a second chance.

TheWalkingMouth: It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fuck up and get fucked over TheWalkingMouth: That doesn’t mean you will everytime TheWalkingMouth: And it certainly doesn’t mean it's the end

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

[...Cowboy is typing…]

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[dideki]

tag time, thank you!

 Hello, I hope you’re all having a nice day. The things I was tagged in have clumped up so I thought I could just do them all now. Thank you to everyone who tagged me!!!

1. Diana @britneyshakespeare (thank you so much!!)

Rules: tag people you’d like to get to know better! (reading this i felt like one of those crying cats, im so honoured seriously thank you)

Top 10 songs I can’t stop listening to: this is actually very well-timed because i can actually name these and also @sastrugie tagged me in a similar one, thank you:

You Ain’t Going Nowhere - Bob Dylan

Atlantis - Donovan

All La Glory - The Band

Moondance - Van Morrison

Šlechtici - Golden Kids

Not Enough - FUR

Leave Her, Johnny - George Sneez

Be Bop A Lula - Gene Vincent

Series Of Dreams - Bob Dylan

Márti Dala - Pásztor Anna & Kiss Tibi

Favorite color(s): all but orange on its own. orange paired with something else is fine. it’s amazing if it’s obnoxious.

Favorite ships: two white cats they’re husband and wife, the coconut lorikeets in denver zoo and merthur

Lipstick or chapstick: neh

Last Movie: my brother and i watched Thor: Ragnarök again last week, I think that was it. I’ve been really trying to watch more movies lately, especially considering how it’s the primary art source of the era (not really but it is kinda.. what)

Currently Reading: Winnie the Pooh

i’ll tag everyone at the end of this, thank you!

2. thank you @smittyjaws and @savoy-brown-shoe for this tag from ages ago!

the point is that i shuffle my music library and list the first ten that come up

 A 67-es Út - Republic

Death Of A Clowd - The Kinks (look at this babie)

Feel A Whole Lot Better - Tom Petty

Somebody To Love - Queen 

Paintbox - Pink Floyd

Piano Concerto No. 1 - Tchaikovsky

No Time To Think - Bob Dylan

The Diary Of Horace Wimp - ELO

The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down - The Band

Oh! Darling - The Beatles

thank u!

3. thank you @thenesmith for this here very 7 questions tag! i love the format you did this in by the way and also @britneyshakespeare too!!

Relationship status: i’m not in a romantic relationship with anyone

Favourite colour: see above but i also realized that i really like that blue that my corduroy shirt is, it’s like light but strong and muted at the same time

Lipstick or chapstick?: no thank you

Top three ships: yuh

Last song I listened to: I’m listening to Help! by the Beatles, thank you youtube autoplay

Spell out your name with song titles: W - Wonderboy - The Kinks I - I Love My Shirt - Donovan L - Lod’ Do Neznáma - Tublatanka E - Everyday - Buddy Holly S - Summer ‘68- Pink Floyd 

4. Thank you, Diana @britneyshakespeare yet again!

15 questions, 15 mutuals

Are you named after someone? I am not.

When was the last time you cried? Two days ago on the way home on the bus because I was thinking of a song that made me cry

Do you have kids? no thankfully

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I try not to

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Well, I guess at first glance I see how they look, but behaviour-vise I tend to notice how aware they are of their surroundings

What’s your eye colour? You know that post telling hazel-eyed people to shut up? Brownish-green. Totally green if the lights are right. Totally brown when the lights are not right etc

Scary movie or happy ending? Both can be good, especially combined

Any special talents? I can bend my left thumb in a way that it looks like my hand is broken

Where were you born? Right in the middle of Budapest in a hospital

What are your hobbies? Reading, drawing whatever i can, i guess music, ruining various pieces of clothing with various techniques, putting whatever spices i see in whatever dish i’m making, being gentle with my cat

Do you have any pets? cat

What sport do you/have you played? I used to swim a lot, even tried synchronized swimming for a year or two, then gymnastics when I was littol, then I took up karate and broke my arm three months in so I quit, I tried ballet too this year but that’s over now and I also did yoga for a few months so yeah these are the official ones

How tall are you? 5′4″? 164 cm?

Favourite subject in school? I don’t dislike any of them. I like English a lot tho

Dream job? shepherd. but a lot of people told me that i have potential to better the world and i want to do that too somehow but also if i could just focus on getting through each day not by making money but by making bread or yes, herding sheep, i would do that too.

thank you!!

5. thank you @thenesmith again! this is to post gifs of my top 5 favourite movies. (currently)

1. Spider-man: Homecoming

2. The Road To El Dorado

3. Labyrinth

4. The Rutles - All You Need Is Cash

5. idk Back to the Future

wuh

6. thank you, @siliconpine!

20 songs tag game

A song you like with a color in the title || Crimson and Clover - Tommy James & The Shondells

A song you like with a number in the title || Fourth Time Around - Bob Dylan

A song that reminds you of summertime || Mary Jane’s Last Dance - Tom Petty (obvi)

A song that reminds you of someone you’d rather forget || i dont think theres a song such as this because i dont like forgetting people

A song that needs to be played LOUD || Birthday - The Beatles

A song that makes you wanna dance || anything pink floyd because i came to the conclusion that you cant dance to pink floyd so i always want to prove myself wrong

A song that makes you happy || Happiness Runs - Donovan

A song that you never get tired of || Ophelia - The Band

A song that you would love played at your wedding || Light A Roman Candle With Me - fun.

A song that is a cover by another artist || Dream A Little Dream Of Me - The Mamas & the Papas

A song that you have sung as a duet at karaoke || none sadly

A song that makes you think about life ||  It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Bleeding) - Bob Dylan

A favorite song with a person’s name in the title || Maxine - Traveling Wilburys

A song that you think everybody should listen to || It’s Nice To Be Nice - Pugwash

A song by a band you wish were still together || See My Friends - The Kinks

A song by an artist no longer living || Rock & Roll Suicide - David Bowie

A song that makes you want to fall in love || I Got You Babe - Sonny and Cher

A song that breaks your heart || You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go - Bob Dylan

A song that you remember from your childhood || Egy bogár - Cseh Tamás

A song that reminds you of yourself || Friends To Go - Paul McCartney

thank you so much!

7. again by @siliconpine!! thank you so much

A This or That Tag Game

Honey and lemon or milk and sugar // musicals or plays // lemonade or iced tea // strawberries or raspberries // winter or summer // beaches or forests // diners or cafés // unicorns or dragons // gemstones or crystals // hummingbirds or owls // fireworks or sparklers // brunch or happy hour what // sweet or sour no // Rome or Amsterdam // classic or modern art // sushi or ramen// sun or moon // polka dots or stripes // macaroons or croissants// glitter or matte // Degas or Seurat  // aquariums or planetariums // road trip or camping trip not a fan of either // coloring books or watercolor // fairy lights or candles

thank you!! i think this is it!

thank YOU if you got this far in, and I’ll tag @vanillatumbleweedscoffee @stars-in-my-damn-eyes @sneez @fancybasementfestival @kipland00 @dreameramongwildflowers @punkslap @rhapsody-under-pressure and everyone who i tagged before and anyone who wants to to do any of these tags as they see fit and if they’re in the mood or have enought time or are just looking for something to do

[loveg1rl-remade]

write short descriptions of your favourite mutuals/friends and then tag them (but not next to their descriptions) and try to make them guess which one is theirs!

i did two parts bc i did a lot of ppl! ppl are tagged in alphabetical order dfjskfn also i hope y'all can guess your number 🚶🚶🚶

p1. 

@01bri @1aju @1oveful @2blushy @chanilovehours @doyoung @fruittxt @himlo @jenolees @junghwasgf

01 - omg we were JUST talking today… we always hit each other up for drama its p funny sjdfksldj i love hearing them talk just in general. they have a lot of good energy and it makes me happy that they like me enough to like. willingly hit me up i think thats really cute and i love that… also theyre always going to concerts and i think thats really cute i hope they hve a really good time :( they always have my back n i love talking to them !! angel 

02 - my sweetheart!!! they’re really the funniest we used to talk ALL the time before school started :( i miss them a lot but honestly i love when they spam me with notifs :’) jsdfkjsd i remember when we first met n we talked about divergent and the bts visual novel it was HONESTLY really iconic… they’re a year under me but honestly it feels like we’ve known each other for a while !! they have a lot of love in their heart and their love for a certain few ppl (starting w t) is so sweet :( i love how we both procrastinate and stay up until like 2 for everything anyway ily and i miss u! 

03 -  omg.. i feel like they’re my younger sister… i really don’t deserve such a ray of sunshine! whenever i’m down they always send me the sweetest asks and messages and once they even told me abt their day out of nowhere i just thought that was really cute :( they’re ALWAYS cheering me on and it is really really sweet !! they make me rlly happy nsdfkjsd even just seeing their asks that start with “GIRL!!!” yea :’) they’re the brightest star w the cutest personality

04. we talked for like four hours about grapes once and that’s how we became friends… uhh i love them a LOT !!! they are really so kind and supportive and we get along really well?? they have a callout list for me kjdfdsf honestly we have a lot of inside jokes and it’s really cute. they changed my opinion abt taureans (U SHOULD KNOW WHO U ARE BY NOW .. ) and i just love how we can talk about anythin????? also your sleep schedule is SUPER screwed up but its chill bc that means we can talk more ndfkjsdkf i love you angel !! 

05. i will LITERALLY never forget the time i was feeling like absolute SHIT and they took the time to write out like an ESSAY for me and it’s saved and screenshotted and immortalized forever in my heart it really meant a lot for someone to like. take the time out to do that for me and im so grateful…we don’t even post the same content anymore but they always interact w my posts and check up on me and send me asks… i love them a lot lot lot! on my old blog they’d send me the cutest asks too im grateful and lucky to have them in my life :’) 

06. they know who they are !! my one n only!! we talk every single day and somehow they don’t get sick of me which is a feat in of itself. super creative and caring and empathetic and strong and selfless and just? a really good person. they have the biggest heart and the most love to give. they’re also really hard on themselves :( my biggest cheerleader n the love of my life.. if you haven’t figured out who you are yet i’ll send jeno over to talk some sense into you (*tell you he loves you)

07. soooo soft :( everything about them is soft!! they hav a lot of love for a certain bunny boy and they’re always always tagging ppl in things i think it’s so unbelievably kind. they’re always spreading kindness and joy and is such a ray of sunshine!! i really really lov them a lot ! 

08. o man where do i start?? they’re really full of a lot of love… they’re always love posting abt their best friend and that really makes me so happy that they have such a positive good person in their life… anyway we always send each other cute asks periodically to check on each other & we’re always helping each other out when we go through emo moods… anyway they’re applying to college at the same time i am and i remember stressing out abt it with them but i KNOW we’ll both be fine i lovve them :’)

09. seriously a big source of support for me even if we don’t talk on the daily!! they always have really good advice to give and even when like. No Advice Can Be Given they’re always lending an listening ear. they’re really cute i love how mature they are !! besides giving rlly insightful n thoughtful advice.. uh they’re just a rockstar! they’re a little bit younger than me but they always try their best and help others out and it’s really admirable. plus they said they love making playlists and i just thought that was the cutest thing :/

10. we haven’t had a lot of conversations together but theyre really just the sweetest :( ever :( i was going through a hard time n they sent me so many sweet asks and messages. its always nice to know there are ppl who care abt u and this person is just SO caring in general!! they’re always tagging ppl in sweet things and doing their best and it is much appreciated !! much like their name they rlly are. the best and the brightest <3

– 

p2. 

@kimjunnoodle @lazy-gudetama @pastelunnie @rapgodkth @rosehyuck @snowedjin @taehn @taeilsgrl @taeyyongs

11. UGH another sweetheart … they’re always sending me the sweetest long asks checking up on me and they’re always interacting n communicating and talking abt stuff they’re passionate abt it i really love it ?????? i miss talking to them !! they would send me the cutest dog pictures :( i always see them around spreading love and happiness and warmth .. they have a lot of love and compassion in their heart. i always look forward to their asks and replies!!

12.  my EVERYTHING!!!! i saw their selfies like yesterday n they rlly knocked my socks off imagine being so pretty!!!! they are really an icon it was so cute talking to them abt our wedding :/ they’re a lot of fun they go from super soft to super funny and like, theyre either loveposting or talking about furries i think its the funniest thing ever. anyway they’re a total sweetheart n the best hyuck stan so yeah ! i love love

13. omg …. they’re SO considerate they’re always tagging me in those “associate ur mutuals with” posts and it’s honestly really cute ??? they have my kidneys and my left lung and my Whole heart :( the biggest sweetest tae stan ! super sweet and lovely and funny !!! we don’t talk a lot but i’m always cheering them on behind the scenes!! they always interact w my not funny stupid posts and hype me up theyre just. really great to be with and im grateful to b mutuals 

14. i’ve known you the longest!!!!!!!! i have all ur jk fics saved omg :( you’re the sweetest bean and i love talking to you.. even tho we don’t talk on the regular anymore it’s always so sweet hearing from you and i love how we always update each other when smthing important happens in our lives!!!! i love watching the videos u send ur voice is rlly the cutest n i remember the first tme i heard it i started crying anyway i still have your christmas card saved and i love you a whole freaking lot im still waiting to go on a date with u :( my tall gf

15. UH we literally talk and just. gush over how cute girls are …. jsfdasdf we ALWAYS tell each other beef no matter what sfjdsk they really have such a caring n chill personality. we think alike so it’s really nice telling them abt things i need help with because i always get a good second perspective on it… they’re always here to listen to me (even late at night when they have work the next day)… they’re a bit like my older sister i trust them a lot !! i really love how they always update me on things even tho i SUCK ass at messaging so :) anyway i love them a lot (move to california sooner!) 

16. one of the funniest most down to earth ppl i’ve ever met. memes are iconic and every single conversation we have i always manage to laugh bc their comedic timing is amazing and yea they’re just an all around great person. they’re my movie buddy and we can also really talk abt anything??? like we’re super comfortable around each other which is super cool n i’m grateful. we can talk for hours n hours … and yeah .. they’re also super sweet and always support me through everything! we have a lot of inside joke its cute & i’m glad i met this person i really am :’)

17. hdfsfn.. really. they really own my heart.. honestly i couldn’t have asked for a better mutual???????? they are Top Tier quality one of kind…they have like thousands upon thousands of followers and they always always promo me … im so undeserving of their love… AND AND THEY ALWAYS SEND ME ASKS …. even when like. im being annoying and ask stupid questions no one wants to answer they always write out a whole paragraph and it makes my WHOLE world ten times over im so grateful for them … i have the strawberry emoji on like all of their asks bc i want to keep all of them thats how much i appreciate the time n effort they show me … wrow… the cutest and best ever i love them a LOT! 

18. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re so motherly to me …. they’re always looking out for me and making sure i’m doing ok and i think that’s just the sweetest best thing ever :( they’re really sweet n pretty AND funny i always love seein their posts… they’re one of my few exo mutuals and i LOVE IT ! I LOVE THEM! they are sosososo soft their tags for their man are really the cutest too… they’re one of those mutuals who switch from loveposting to toesucking and it’s the best and funniest i love them! once i was sick n they sent me like two asks making sure i was ok and . wrow. i couldnt have asked for anyone better

19.  mMmMmMm i remember i thought they hated me and then it turns out they didn’t and i was SO relieved bc they’re so sweet and funny and :( just a really great person. they did a lil astrology analysis for me and it was so spot on i’d trust them with my life and my savings and my posterity…. uhhh they have a heart of gold they’re always looking out for others and trying their best n it’s really admirable. they also have such a good sense of humor!! a treasured mutual who owns my heart :( 

[some-good-meme]

Get To Know Me

Tagged by @elliox , thanks man this looks fun haha

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag however many people you want

(I would put it in the read more but idk how sorry)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: a coke i think 2. Phone call: rescheduling a doctor appointment ha 3. Text message: @elliox talking about buying shorts 4. Song you listened to: stuck in the sound, lets go probly 5. Time you cried: when i found my kitty dead.. well i guess i might have teared up a bit when a close friend left for the summer too,,,

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: haha man i cant even get someone once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. Been cheated on: guess not 9. Lost someone special: hasn’t everyone at some point 10. Been depressed: oohhhhh yeah

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: ooohhh buddy yes

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: silver, black, that cool green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yeah! and i love em! 16. Fallen out of love: dont think so 17. Laughed until you cried: haha yea good times 18. Found out someone was talking about you: i mean yea but i don’t care, keep it comin 19. Met someone who changed you: honestly that happens everytime i get close to someone and i hate it but yes 20. Found out who your friends are: yeeeah sure did 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i guess that could count

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i think almost all??? maybe a couple no 23. Do you have any pets: 1 dog, 6 chickens, and i guess 2 kinda 3 cats now 24. Do you want to change your name: i mean i love my name,, but ive loved the name Alex ever since i could remember so idk 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: A hotel, and a heartwarming chat with a friend in the bathtub till like 4 am haha 26. What time did you wake up: i slept in till like 12 today it was good 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: drawin p 28. Name something you can’t wait for: a new start tbh, like the place i was at was good but i cant wait to be completely independent and to move on from some things

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about a week ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i think ive grown from all the bad stuff so idk, but if i had to choose one id say all the times ive just gone with the flow and it blows up in my face 31. What are you listening to right now: nothing rn cause ive been listening to the same stuff all day haha  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: mmm dont think so 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: me not being able to tell people how i actually feel !!! 34. Most visited Website: youtube probably cause music hah

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: yeahh, theres moles here 36. Mark/s: couple scars i got for really dumb reasons like burning myself while making cookies or falling off a treadmill hahah 37. Childhood dream: always wanted to be a mermaid , still love mermaids hah 38. Haircolor: brown rn, a little bit of bleached ends 39. Long or short hair: he short  40. Do you have a crush on someone: yea i guess a little one

41. What do you like about yourself: mmmm being able to make friends  42. Piercings: 5 on my ears and one nose ring 43. Bloodtype: ha i really should know this buuut

44. Nickname: smelly haha, oh and asshole alice i think is one 45. Relationship status: there was potential but she lives in Washington (im in Minnesota) 46. Zodiac: aquarius  47. Pronouns: really any i dont care, but i mostly use she/they 48. Favorite TV Show: x files is always good

49. Tattoos: im thinking of getting the solar system around my arm

50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: dose a root canal count ? 52. Hair dyed a different color: used to be orange 53. Sport: used to be in gymnastics 55. Vacation: love Mexico 56. Pair of trainers: uhhhhh nope

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing rn 58. Drinking: kinda want some water 59. I’m about to: go downstairs to get some water probly 61. Waiting for: idk to get tired so i can finally sleep i guess 62. Want: $$$! and cats! oh and friends(just in general)!!! 63. Get married: eh,,, if it happens its cool if it doesn’t oh well 64. Career: gonna try to be an animator, if that fails i guess ill run away and live in an abandoned water tower or something

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: probly hugs 66. Lips or eyes: i guess eyes,,, but when those lips are good thats 👌👌👌 67. Shorter or taller: no preference i guess 68. Older or younger: also no preference  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: abs are niceeee 71. Sensitive or loud: some of both ? 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship probably 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker cause i think im the hesitant one at times

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: yup

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: many times with the contacts, good thing theyr the daily ones 77. Turned someone down: a real long time ago but

78. Sex on the first date: not into that sorry 79. Broken someone’s heart: sure hope not 80. Had your heart broken: yeah, but its all good now 81. Been arrested: no but i keep having dreams of it and when i wake up i get it confused with reality haha 82. Cried when someone died: of corse 83. Fallen for a friend: ehh i dont think i knew what it was at the time but kindof ??? real lowkey tho real lowkey

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not too much lately haha 85. Miracles: i guess 86. Love at first sight: didnt for the longest time but then it happend to me soo 87. Santa Claus: haha no sorry 88. Kiss on the first date: that just seems kinda weird idk

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: ive got a lot of friends and i dont like ranking them but some are @elliox, @nart-snart, @deez-lockz, @alieyawn, @echeveriia, @the-fourth-musketeer, @lcxiegrey, and @hackin-cactus 91. Eyecolor: hazel 92. Favorite movie: too hard to choose,, i usually just choose a miyazaki movie off the top of my head when i get asked this

I tag: hah well so many have already been tagged,,, but everyone i atted will be tagged i guess @

(if u dont wanna do it thats fine too!)

[smilingformoney]

It Lives in the Woods Diamond Scene: Read Dan’s Texts

You: Let’s do it. It seems like Dan wants us to know, and this is the only way he can tell us. You open Dan’s messaging app, and Stacy scoots her chair over next to yours. You: Okay, so when did all this stuff start? Stacy, you said before that Dan was having breakdowns at football games, right? When was that? Stacy: Sometime around last September, I think. Stacy reads over your shoulder as you scroll backwards through Dan’s life, rewinding across days… weeks… months…

Saturday, September 17 | 11:09 am Stacy: hey dan, its stacy… r u doing alright? Dan: yeah, what do you mean? Stacy: i saw u after the game last night… Dan: ? Stacy: crying? under the bleachers? Dan: lol what? must’ve been somebody else Stacy: im pretty sure it was you Dan: well I’m pretty sure it wasn’t lol Stacy: Then they looked a lot like you. and had your same jersey #. and afterwards im pretty sure they stole ur car Dan: I’m fine. Stacy: ok Stacy: just… i hope u know u can talk to me Stacy: about anything

Sunday, September 18 | 1:42 pm Mom: Everything okay, kiddo? Dan: yeah why Mom: My mom senses are tingling. Also I found Picard meowing outside your door this morning, and you only kick him out when you’re upset. Dan: I’m okay… just school stress and stuff. I didnt sleep super great last night Mom: Are you having the nightmares again? Dan: no, and no offense, but can we please not do the talk again Mom: ‘The Talk’? Dan: the one where I tell you a bunch of stuff that makes you look at me like a sick puppy and u try to convince me to see a shrink and I say no and we argue Mom: Ouch. Dan: sorry… im just tired Mom: Look, I know you don’t want to talk to a therapist Mom: (because you’re stubborn and you are your father’s son) Mom: But I worry about you. And I want you to be okay. Dan: I know Mom: What do you think about something like this? Mom: “New App Places Therapy at your Fingert…” Read the whole story at healthnews.pb/2016/09/15/227x941/… Dan: what is this? texting with a therapist? seems kinda cheesy… Mom: Just think about it.

Thursday, September 29 | 2:19 am Emily: hi there :) Do you prefer Daniel, or Dan? Dan: dan is fine Emily: Well Dan, my name is Dr. Emily Chambal and I’ll be your Lighthouse counselor. Emily: How are you feeling? Dan: what like now or in general? Emily: Let’s start with now. Dan: idk…hungry? Emily: Same. I’m eating nachos! Dan: aw man. Now I want nachos Emily: Yes, so does my German Shepherd. Dan: lol Emily: So how have you been feeling lately? Dan: idk… hard to describe. kind of alone i guess? Emily: Alone like sad? Dan: no. more like… scared

You: What did Dan have to be afraid of? This was long before all the creepy stuff started happening… right? Stacy: Hm… Skip ahead to November, just after Thanksgiving break. Stacy: Dan was out of school for a couple days in a row and… I don’t know. Something about it felt weird to me. You: Okay, let’s see…

Wednesday, November 30 | 9:14 am Mom: Dan, I’m trying to be respectful and give you your space but it’s been three days Mom: I’m getting worried. And the school is calling. And you have half our cups and bowls in there. Mom: please open the door Dan: tomorrow

Wednesday, November 30 | 3:17 pm Emily: Is this the first time you’ve had an episode like this? Dan: never this long Dan: idk what’s wrong with me. im just lying here shaking Emily: Did something happen that might have set this off? Dan: sort of. we went to my uncle’s cabin for thxgiving and i started having nightmares Emily: Were they about what happened? The incident when you were a kid? Dan: yeah Emily: Are you ready to talk about that yet? Dan: no Emily: That’s fine, no rush. You don’t have to answer this, but I have one other question. Would you describe this incident as negative? Or violent? Dan: yes… understatement of the century Emily: And would you say, before this episode, that it’s been a while since you last thought about it? Dan: sort of… I think about it a lot. but I try not to Dan: it got better for a few years… i just pretended it happened to someone else Emily: But visiting your uncle’s cabin brought it back for you? And then it all came rushing back to you? Sound about right? Dan: yes Emily: Okay. Well I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first? Dan: good please Emily: The good news is, I think you’re making progress. And I think we might have an idea of what we’re dealing with now. Emily: The bad news is, from everything you’ve told me over the last couple weeks, it sounds like you might be dealing with symptoms of dissociation that manifest with some forms of PTSD Dan: what does that mean? Emily: It means this may get worse before it gets better. Emily: But I do believe it will get better. I hope you do too.

You: Looks like the next big batch is around February… Stacy: Oh, no. Winter formal… You: What happened? Stacy: After the dance, there was a big party at Seth’s house. Stacy: I found Dan freaking out in the bathroom, but then I left for a minute, and he just took off…

Friday, February 10 | 2:18 am Stacy: Dan? i left to get towels and u disappeared, where r u Dan: I’m fine, I walked home Stacy: ur clearly NOT fine Stacy: wtf is going on with u?! talk to me!! Dan: just leave me alone Stacy: okay.

Friday, February 10 | 9:14 am Mom: You came home kinda late last night. Everything okay, kiddo? Dan: ya im fine Mom: Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it? Dan: NO. for the millionth time: I AM FINE

Saturday, February 11 | 4:15 pm Dan: I did something dumb the other night… Emily: What happened? Dan: i went to a party even though i was feeling bad Dan: i had a freakout, and i was really crappy to someone who was trying to help me Dan: …two people actually Emily: Have you had any more episodes recently? Dan: sort of… ive been having nightmares all week Dan: also, as I was coming home frmm the party, i went by the woods... and I thought I saw something. Dan: i guess it was probably just a hallucination but it really freaked me out. p sure i ran most of the way home Emily: These woods… are they near where your original incident took place? Dan: yeah Emily: Okay, let me ask you this… Emily: How do you feel when you see a forest? Or when you think about being inside one? Dan: bad Emily: Bad how? Dan: like i cant breathe Emily: Do you think the woods might be a trigger for you? You see a bunch of dark trees and you start thinking about what happened? Dan: yeah! Like at my uncle’s cabin! Emily: If that’s the case, then I think I have an idea for how we might start to deal with this. Let me run something by you…

Stacy: After that… I think my last text with Dan was in June.

Monday, June 5 | 4:15 pm Stacy: Hi Dan. I was thinking about you today. It’s been a few months since we talked and I’m sad with how we left things off. I hope you’re doing okay. Dan: Hi stacy. I’m good :) Dan: I mean I wasnt before, but I think im getting better. I can’t talk now but…soon? Stacy: that’d be great Dan: have a good summer vacation! Stacy: u too dan

Monday, June 5 | 6:15 pm Dan: New record! Emily: Woo! Dan: this time I went right up to the treeline & stood there for 10 minutes Emily: That’s great! I’m happy that you’re making so much progress. Dan: its not enough though. i still have to go inside Dan: i have to see the place where it happened. i have to face it. Emily: Remember not to push yourself too hard, okay? If this starts to stress you out too much, there are always other methods we can try. Emily: Just take it one day at a time.

You: It’s mostly little texts after that, all throughout summer. You: One step into the woods… a picnic five feet inside… He was working his way up to it. Working his way up to… You: Last week.

Sunday | 3:15 pm Mom: You have everything you need? Dan: yep Mom: Toothbrush? Underwear? Blanket? Dan: yep yep yep Mom: Okay. Have fun, stay safe! You want me to come and pick you up from Tony’s tomorrow? Dan: you don’t have to do that. i’ll walk Mom: K. Call if you change your mind? Dan: lol, you’re acting like this is some huge deal. i’ve crashed at Tony’s house like a million times Mom: Not for years! I’m just so happy to see that you’re doing better. Mom: I love you. Dan: thanks mom. love u too. see u tomorrow

5:15 pm Dan: Hi Dr. Chambal. I’m standing on the edge of the woods for what I hope is going to be the last time. Just wanted to say thank you for all your help. Dan: I’m going in there tonight. And this time, I’m going all the way to where it happened. To end this once and for all. Dan: I’m going to walk into that house and tell Mr. Red he’s not real. And he never was. And he doesn’t scare me anymore.

10:15 pm Emily: Hi Dan. Sorry, Sundays are my day off, just saw your messages. Emily: I’m glad I’ve been helpful to you, but I hope you understand that trauma isn’t something you can just ‘fix’ with one grand gesture. Emily: Dealing with what happened is going to take a lifetime of work that may not ever stop. but it will get easier. Emily: There are also limits to what a mental health professional can do via text, and I do still strongly encourage you to consider traditional therapy as a long term treatment option. Emily: Also, I hope that if you’re going into the woods, you’re staying safe and taking a buddy. Emily: You have a lot of people who care about you, and there are other dangerous things out there besides bad memories. Emily: take care, talk soon

10:47 pm Emily: wait I just re-read your last text Emily: Who’s Mr. Red? Emily: Dan? Who is Mr. Red? Emily: Are you there? Emily: Dan???

You put down Dan’s phone, your hands shaking a little. You: Oh, Dan… I’m so sorry. I promise, we’re going to find a way to help you. And… You: …And when you wake up, we’re going to be here for you. Whatever you need. You squeeze Dan’s hand… and he lets out a long sigh. Dan +15 Dan: Hhhhhhh… Noah: We’ll help more than that quack doctor. She told Dan it was all in his mind! She’s the reason he went to face Mr. Red! Lily: That’s not fair, Noah. Dr. Chambal didn’t tell him to do that. She did the best she could with the information Dan gave her. Lucas: And it did seem like she was helping him. It seemed like he was getting better at dealing with everything, until… Ava: …Until Mr. Red ruined everything. Again.

[jaketheaudiophile]

Best Albums of 2018.

This is the thing I look forward to most every year. I probably start internally ranking albums after purchasing them and have a conversation with friends and fellow musicians about their favorite releases starting in September. 

I personally thought 2018 was a very good year for music, and already have some stuff I’m excited about in 2019. Let’s just jump right in.

HONORABLE MENTION

TTNG: “Animals Acoustic” released October 5 via Sargent House

It doesn’t feel right to consider this a “true” new album since it’s only an acoustic reworking of TTNG / This Town Needs Guns’ seminal debut album. However, this is more than just a re-release; there’s unique, varied instrumentation added cleverly to every song, including strings, pianos and The Kraken Quartet on percussion. It also never gets old hearing Stu Smith sing again or hearing Tim Collis recreate his wizardry on an acoustic guitar. It feels like a brand new thing, which is impressive considering the source material is a decade old.

#15.

The Decemberists: “I’ll Be Your Girl” released March 16 via Capitol / Rough Trade

Props to my buddy Branden for recommending this, but in general Decemberists albums are an automatic purchase for me. I wasn’t crazy about their last few releases (particularly the collaborative Offa Rex LP) so I wasn’t completely up to date on their current activities, but this is another solid entry into a pretty stellar catalogue of music. The lead single “Severed” is a bit of a curveball, but it shouldn’t scare off old fans. In a strange way, this album is a reinvention of sorts but also a harkening back to the songwriting and cleverness that made these alt-rockers famous (”Everything is Awful”, “Once in My Life”). Perfect for old and new fans.

#14.

The Wonder Years: “Sister Cities” released April 6 via Hopeless Records

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but this is probably my least favorite Wonder Years album. It should have worked perfectly on paper: The old pop-punkers expand their sound and influences and graduate to a new level of maturity and success. And in a way, this is exactly that. However, the last half of the album, particularly the closing track, “The Ocean Grew Hands to Hold Me” just feels uninspired and lazy. There’s something to be said for purposeful dynamic choices, and that was something these Philly rockers nailed on previous releases. Still, TWY are master craftsmen, and there are a few great songs and moments throughout this record (”Pyramids of Salt” in particular), but this feels more like a transitionary phase than a masterpiece.

#13.

Mouse on the Keys: “tres” released May 23 via Topshelf Records

Japanese jazz aficionados Mouse on the Keys were a relatively new band for me this year, and their latest record certainly lives up to hype that I’ve seen them receiving. Bringing in a strong, varied collection of guest musicians works out splendidly at times (such as vocalist Dominique Fils-Aime, who absolutely kills it on “Stars”, and CHON wunderkind Mario Camarena’s solo on “Time”) and falls slightly flat at others (unfortunately, La Dispute’s Jordan Dreyer’s spoken word contributions to “Shapeless Man”). When left to their own devices, however, the skills and performances of these three dudes are admirable (”One Hundred Twenty”). The album feels a bit more of a collection of ideas than a full record, but is still worth checking out for any technical music or jazz fans.

#12.

mewithoutYou: “Untitled” released October 5 via Run For Cover Records

This album is a textbook example of what could have easily been a classic, or even an album of the year contender. However, it seems like these Philly indie rock mainstays lost all momentum halfway through and ended not with a bang, but with a whimper. The last two songs on this album are basically useless and meandering. It also seems like the band tried to get in the headspace of their earliest material, maybe pulling some influence on a few album anniversary tours, which is a welcome return to form (”9:27A.m., 7/29″). With that in mind, why are Aaron Weiss’ vocals so low in the mix or drowning in effects to make them unrecognizable? His poetic lyrics are what make so many fans keep coming back, so the choice to completely smother them is an odd one. The highs of this album are here, but they are too dragged down by the uninspired lows to make this a completely stellar record. I hold these guys to a pretty high standard, though, so maybe I’m more critical than most here.

#11.

Between The Buried and Me: “Automata I” and “Automata II” released March 9 and July 13 via Sumerian Records

It doesn’t feel right to separate these albums as its considered one long story and they really do work in tandem. Personally, I like Automata I a smidge more, but they are both pretty damn good. I is a more traditional metal (with the exception of the the epic Dream Theater-esque closer “Blot”) and II allows the band to sow their wild oats a bit, worshipping at the altars of Queen and Danny Elfman at times. Regardless, this is a mammoth achievement for these metal titans, who seemingly never seem to run out of ideas for brilliant, varied albums. Some songs are a bit overlong, and the few purely filler tracks may be a tad unnecessary, but it’s still a rewarding listen.

#10.

Horrendous: “Idol” released September 28 via Season of Mist

Perhaps the only disappointing part of this technical death metal release is the fact that it’s only 40 minutes long. Most bands in this genre would be content to tease out a riff or interlude and create a 12-minute song, but not these guys. Not that there are a lack of ideas; they’re just packed in so tightly and laser-focused to make every track feel adventurous, varied and finely tuned. Combined with one of the most unique vocalists I’ve ever heard (the most apt comparison is “Wolfman transforming from Wolfman back into man”), the listener is left with an album that truly leaves them wanting more. Also, kudos for the creepy Clive Barker-esque cover art.

#9.

Mom Jeans.: “Puppy Love” released July 3 on Counter Intuitive Records

Mom Jeans. scratch an itch I’ve always had for quality emo music and nicely fill a void You Blew It! left when they broke up last year. There’s certainly not a ton of brand new ideas on display in their music, but its earnestness and heart make up for it. I’m willing to overlook a few cliche moments (the acoustic album closing cut, the more-or-less straight up rip off of Weezer’s “The Sweater Song” on “Glamorous”) and instead be grateful that tracks like “Sponsor Me Tape” and “Pickle Bart” took up permanent residency in my head for most of the year. Keep doing what you’re doing.

#8.

Delta Sleep: “Ghost City” released August 10 via Big Scary Monsters

Longtime friends may remember that Delta Sleep’s 2015 effort “Twin Galaxies” was my favorite album of that year. The bar was set pretty high for the follow-up, and for the most part, they delivered. The production is top-notch, the arrangements are all over the place but locked in and expertly performed, and the band cements their status as one of the best in the genre. Unfortunately, there are just a bit too many filler tracks and interlude cuts to really make it stand out, and they tend to make me either skip songs or not want to jump back into the album. This is particularly odd as I didn’t mind this much on their last record or previous EPs, but I feel like they need to ditch this particular crutch in the future. Again, I’m most critical of the bands and groups I adore the most, so maybe I’m nitpicking. This is a really fun record (“After Dark” and “El Pastor”) and is certainly worth your time.

#7.

Tangled Hair: “We Do What We Can” released March 16 via Big Scary Monsters

Without overhyping it, this was easily one of my most anticipated releases for 2018, and something I was hoping for for several years. I quite enjoyed the two EPs this British math rock trio had previously released, and was a huge fan of Colour, a legendary group two of Tangled Hair were a part of. This album did live up to these hopes and dreams, but sadly the last third was lacking that extra “oomph” to make this a perfect record. That said, the drum work of James Trood is well varied and creative (”Keep Doing What You’re Doing”, “Yeah, It Does Look Like a Spider”) and while not full of over-the-top tapping riffs, the songs and riffs have a fun technicality to them (”Nao is my Driver”, “Catalina”). Tangled Hair have a way of crafting songs that don’t beat you over the head with their musicianship but incentivize the listener to pick them apart and then be amazed. This is why I’m a fan, and why I adore this record. Hopefully a US tour is their next big step.

#6.

Antarctigo Vespucci: “Love in the Time of E-Mail” released October 26 via Polyvinyl

For those unfamiliar (which included myself until I heard “Freakin’ U Out” through Anthony Fantano), Antartigo Vespucci is a project made up of Chris Farren (Fake Problems) and Jeff Rosenstock. I have never been a huge fan (mainly out of ignorance) of either’s previous work, but that seems to be at my detriment because I really, really love this record. It’s minimalistic, straightforward and effective. Most songs aren’t longer than 2 minutes and are chock full of hooks and fun instrumentation (”Kimmy”, “Breathless on DVD”) that keep you coming back. The word that resonates and fits most for this record is “sharp”. The songwriting, production and attitude is such. It’s a truly fun little release that came out of nowhere for me.

#5.

Tiny Moving Parts: “Swell” released January 26 via Triple Crown Records

I’m quite impressed with the consistency of these Minnesota rockers. They seem to crank out a quality record every 18 months or so, and their latest offering is no exception. It’s airtight and jam packed with energy and emotion, not to mention the occasional insane guitar tapping lick (”Feel Alive”, “Caution”). Perhaps not as polished as 2016′s “Celebrate” but still damn good. Damn damn good good (”Applause”, “Wishbone”). Anything these guys put out seems to be a lock to be in my Top 5 every time until proven otherwise.

#4.

Justin Courtney Pierre: “In The Drink” released October 12 via Epitaph Records

Like most people, I was incredibly sad to learn Motion City Soundtrack decided to call it quits a few years ago. Frontman Justin Pierre decided to at least make the transition easier by releasing his debut solo album, and it’s full of so many of the things that fans of MCS came to adore. It’s not quite as diverse or well produced as their material, but still contains Pierre’s trademark honest lyricism and songwriting chops. Also present are a few of the members of longtime Pierre side-project Farewell Continental, which makes this feel closer to one of their albums, particularly with the presence of guitar feedback and female vocals. I wasn’t really expecting this to blow away anything Motion City has put out, but it holds its own quite nicely without overstaying its welcome only being 28 minutes long. I’m just so happy Justin is continuing to put out music.

#3.

Vein: “Errorzone” released June 22 via Closed Casket Activities

It’s so fitting that this band is named after a vital part of the human body. They feel essential and basic, but not in a boring way, and aren’t too flashy or breaking any molds. I guess the theme of most of my favorite music of 2018 is “Well, it’s not reinventing the wheel, but it’s still awesome!”. This bleak and brutal hardcore record sums that up quite nicely. Taking influence from Glassjaw, Deftones and every knuckle-dragging breakdown factory playing on the side stages of every Warped tour and sharpening the edges with razor blades, this album’s raw energy and brazenness makes it feel bombastic and energizing. This is also the band I’m most excited to see what happens in the future, as this is their debut full length, and I imagine giving them room to grow and mature will lead to some outstanding things in the future. The traditional hardcore moments are awesome (”Old Data in a New Machine”, “Demise Automation”), but the occasional breaths of melody (”Errorzone”) and clever electronic samples (”End Eternal”) are surprising. Far and away my favorite heavy music record of 2018.

#2.

Lifted Bells: “Minor Tantrums” released March 30 on Run For Cover Records

Bob Nanna must be one of the coolest people ever. The longtime Braid and Hey Mercedes frontman seems to have his fingerprints all over great bands and projects, and this Chicago indie rock collective is certainly no exception. Each song feels like a symphony of spastic drums, distorted bass and Matthew Frank’s (he of Loose Lips Sink Ships and Their / They’re / There fame) insanely varied and skilled guitar lines (”Inevitable Devil”). Every song feels completely unique and different, making it a pretty perfect rock record (”Follow Me”, “Choir Sings The Cure”). Nothing feels unnecessary and it’s infinitely re-listenable. Pretty good for a first full length, huh?

#1.

Monobody: “Raytracing” released November 1 via Sooper Records

I’ve been playing music in some capacity for 25 years and generally try to go to as many concerts and buy as many records as I can afford. With all that said, I have a hard time fully grasping what this Chicago jazz collective have pulled off on this gargantuan release. Seemingly going in every musical direction at once while somehow being accessible and downright fun to listen to, it’s kind of hard to describe exactly how it all works out, but it does. I can’t really recommend it to casual music fans, but if you’re willing to take the plunge into something dense and different that is truly at its best as a whole album and not individual songs, this will reward you. I can’t put any other full-length record above it, so it is without a doublt my favorite LP of 2018.

...except...

So, about that word “full-length”...

...welp...

ACTUAL FAVORITE RELEASE OF 2018:

Invalids: “Fulfillment EP” released March 28 via Choke Artist

I’ve never been in this situation before. I can’t in good consciousness say that I liked any music that came out this year more than this EP, so it feels wrong giving it any other spot. Invalids is a math rock project that was essentially just guitarist / vocalist Pete Davis until recently. For this EP and a few recent tours, he joined forces with 3 amazing musicians who could keep up with his absurdly technical yet melodic songwriting. I hesitate to use the word “perfect”, but I cannot find a flaw on this EP. Earlier records were perhaps impressively performed but lacking in memorable songs, or meandering or bloated. This EP instead sees Davis and company trimming the fat but still keeping things varied, clever and jaw-dropping. Yeah, it’s a technicality calling this “album of the year”, but it’s a glorious album and one I’m willing to make an exception for. Thank you, Invalids.