#manvschild

[manvchild]

Blatantly exploiting my cats to remind you - ESPECIALLY the new batch of comedy folk that are becoming dad’s and moms - that my #manvschildbook makes a great addition to your 👶 purchases. When my Book came out last year, you might have been too busy with 🍷and 🎷 to be in the market but now that u have crossed over into #parenting madness, I hope u will check it out.

[dynastyroyale]

Sad but true! Age does not equate maturity. #SippinwithSonja #sonjareneé #grownmanstatus #grownwomanstatus #agedoesnotequatematurity #invokethekinginyou #invokingthegoddess #invokeconsciousness #invokeawareness #invokethought #manvschild #Atlanta https://www.instagram.com/p/B3Z4JeCHqp0/?igshid=1gids4fjbli9v

[dougmoe]

About the Book

***Named one of Amazon’s Best Humor Books of 2017.***

“Doug Moe has written a delightful and helpful book that gives real advice about the Wild West world of raising children.” - Amy Poehler

Moms have hundreds of parenting advice books willing to tackle the more cringe-inducing questions of parenthood. But what about books for the other half of the equation: the dads?

Man Vs. Child is a funny, fresh take on the parenting guide, written from the dad’s perspective.  More info here.

Buy the Book

The book is out in stores now or you can order here:

Amazon Abrams Barnes and Noble Books-a-Million Indiebound Indigo Powell’s

Praise

“Doug Moe has written a delightful and helpful book that gives real advice about the Wild West world of raising children.”  

- Amy Poehler

*** 

 “Moe describes the awed affection new fathers may have for their children with relatable humor and genuine insight, offering a promising resource for the curious and the clueless.”

-The New Yorker

*** 

 “From tackling toddler meltdowns to bringing up baby in any conversation, comedian Doug Moe’s irreverent take on the absurdity of fatherhood is a refreshing read for new dads. It feels like you’re chatting with a friend who admittedly doesn’t know everything, but does know exactly what you’re going through.”

- Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine

*** 

 “Wow is it terrific – funny, smart, relatable, and actually filled with some very good tips, from handling sleepless nights for tips to get rid of your kids’ weird friends on playdates.”

- Cool Mom Picks

*** 

 “Yes, it’s just one man’s point of view, but we have a feeling your guy will find more than enough in common with this hilarious dad-in-training.”

- PureWow

*** 

 “Thankfully for new fathers like me, Doug Moe knows it all, from little kids doing pee-pee to big kids doing homework. It’s essential reading for dads and future dads.”

- Michael Showalter, writer/director and cocreator of Wet Hot American Summer

*** 

 “Doug Moe is the second-best father I know. Even if the only thing you get from this book is a good time, then Doug has done more for fathers than any other book of its kind.”

- Rob Corddry, actor and comedian, The Daily Show and Ballers

*** 

 “I am about to have a baby and I am terrified and feel like an idiot! Then I read Doug Moe’s Man vs. Child! Now, I am prepared to have a baby. I am slightly less terrified and I am still an idiot! Thanks, Doug!”

- Bobby Moynihan, actor and comedian, Saturday Night Live

***

“Hurry up and buy this book! I didn’t get a chance before my baby came and now I’m screwed! Help! I haven’t slept in weeks and now I don’t know what I’m doing! Dammit, Doug, why didn’t you write this while I still had time to read books??”

- Rob Huebel, actor and comedian, Human Giant and Transparent

*** 

 “Man vs. Child is a hilariously honest look at parenting that even moms can appreciate. I mean, any book that encourages new dads to ‘vacuum and be nice’ is one I can get behind!”

- Ilana Wiles, blogger and author of The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting

*** 

 “A taut, erotic thriller. This is a smart, dark look at  the human condition, our strengths and our weaknesses.  Doug Moe has done it again.  I did not read this book.”

- Jason Mantzoukas, actor and comedian, The League

*** 

 “Doug Moe is hilarious. I’d read anything he wrote, including this book, which I read and loved. Doug’s writing is funny and irreverent, which could lead one to think he’s a bad dad, and quite honestly, I thought that for years.“ 

- Jon Daly, actor and comedian, Kroll Show

Media

Feel free to email me here if you want to talk.  For media and publicity inquiries and interview requests, please contact Jennifer Bastien at jbastien@abramsbooks.com.

Download the press release

[book-soup]

We snagged a candid shot from our event with @doug_moe! There's still time to catch it, so head on over #books #manvschild #booksoup (at Book Soup)

[kmattg87-blog]

#manvschild

[manvchild]

When I wrote this book, daughter was only 10. Now she’s 13! Like I say in my book “I guess even teenagers need a dad, maybe they even *especially* need a dad. Maybe the best years are to come: years when I can really hone my uncoolness into being an enthusiastically embarrassing dad. I sure hope so.”

[manvchild]

What is this “Leave Kid at Home?”

Yesterday, my wife and I snuck off to Ikea for a few hours.  No, we were not picking up another Telly Savalas Baby Picture Frame - we were getting a bookshelf.  We did this without our daughter who just STAYED HOME.  

When our daughter was little, we could drop her off at Smaland - the Ikea babysitting area.  She loved the little play area, although one time we dropped her off and then watched her immediately plop down to watch whatever junky Spongebob movie they had on.  Whatever, we were free (for 30-45 minutes)!  We'd race around trying to tackle all the worst Ikea tasks before picking her up again and proceeding to the self-service area only to find they were out of everything.  Ikea is always an ordeal.

And then came the sad day when our daughter was too tall for the Smaland.  That meant dragging our crabby daughter through a million faux-apartments.  We saw a ton of these sad parents when we went yesterday - parents desperately trying to envision their new, improved bedrooms despite their kid sulking or spinning on some stool or chasing their brothers.  Won’t it be great to curl up with a book in our little reading nook, honey...?  TAMMY GET OFF THAT SOFA!  Madness.

Yes, it's hard to understand what a difference this idea of "leaving your kid at home" has on one's life.  Now my wife and I can go to a store, get mad at each other, settle it and return with too much junk all by ourselves.  It was glorious.

[manvchild]

Best Humor Books of 2017

Toot toot! I'm tooting my own horn because my book got picked as one of Amazon's Best Humor and Entertainment Books of 2017!  If you're a Doug Moe super-fan, you might be thinking "didn't I already hear this?" The answer is - No! A few months ago, it was named in the Best Humor and Entertainment Books of 2017 *so far* So now that it's the end of the year, my book has defended its title, so to speak. I'm in this list with John Hodgman, Whitney Cummings, Chuck Klosterman, Kelly Oxford, etc. - I'm an underdog on this one for sure. And of course, if you've bought it or left a review, thanks so much. If not - it makes a great gift for any parent, even moms! Think about picking up a copy if you haven't yet. Yay!

[manvchild]

One of the funnest parts of putting Man Vs Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting together was getting to see my terrible sketches turned into wonderful illustrations by my incredible illustrator @jordan-awan.  Many of the best illustrations were ideas he drew on his own, but then he magically transformed some of my half-assed ideas into great stuff.  These illustrations bring so much charm to the book.

You can find Jordan here.

[manvchild]

Dear Students:  Enjoy Your Vacation!

DEAR STUDENTS:

Enjoy your vacation!  It's a great time to reflect on the year and spend time with family and friends.  Happy holidays.

Due on Tuesday, January 2nd:

20 page math packet in preparation for quiz

Social Studies presentation on the ancient Mayan culture.  Don't forget the six page findings summary and to include your bibliography.  Visual aids (figures, posters, displays) will be presented on Monday.

45 Reading Diary Entries

67 “Fun facts about History”

400 Sentence-structure planning conclusions and introductions with supporting arguments and compound sentence analysis

Vacation Homework is 40% of your final grade.

Some parents are upset that there is any homework over vacation.  Some argue that a vacation should be a “vacation.”

It is my view that homework over a holiday teaches a valuable lesson:  nothing is easy, all is lost, people will make demands of you that are unfair and arbitrary.

Life is a grind. Joy is fleeting. Disappointment is rampant. All is darkness.

EXTRA CREDIT:  Write a 500 word essay on “futility” or “struggle.”

See you in January!

[manvchild]

Grandpa Name Dibs

My dad was just visiting - it's hard to picture yourself as a grandpa visiting your grownup kid in the future.  

What will she be like as an adult?  Will I be a cool, fun grandpa?  Or a drag?  Will she have kids that you'll be the grandpa to?  

We call my dad "Poppie."  Is it too early to request "Big Peepaw" as my nickname?

[manvchild]

Papa Bear

Yesterday was parent-teacher conferences at my daughter's new school.  I've been happily surprised that her middle-school transition has seemed to be low-drama, and her school has a fancy-schmancy online system that I can look at her grades on.  So I knew that things were going well - no real dread going into the meetings.

In the first meeting, one of her teachers was like:  "She's very shy and quiet."  I immediately felt my face flush at this mildest of criticisms - and one that I actually mostly agree with!  "Uh-huh," I said with a little bit of a tone.  I really didn't mean to; it was just "Papa Bear" instincts rearing up.  I took a deep breathe and got my shit together.  The rest of the meeting went fine.  She is shy and quiet!  Calm down, Doug!

I really don't think of myself as unrealistic about my kid.  I'm not one of these parents that says their kid is "creative" while the kid is scratching "Fart" into a table with a pocket knife.  I think I'm eyes-wide-open.

But the Papa Bear instinct is fierce sometimes.  I remember years ago when we forced her to play soccer for a hot minute, I was in peak Papa Bear mode.  She didn't know what the hell she was doing, was lost among a bunch of mini-Pelès, the ball whizzing past her.  I wasn't worrying about her scoring; I was worried about her feeling humiliated.  It was awful to watch her out there so out of her depth.  We had thought it would be a good experience, a good lesson in teamwork and listening to a coach and, ya know, exercise.  But instead it was a lesson in "sign your kid up for soccer earlier in life."  

Other Papa Bears at the game were ready to beat the ref up for a bad call or because their kid got tripped, even though he was totally fine.  I was pretty uncomfortable around these Rage Bears, glad that I hadn't previously lost my way so much that I thought yelling at a ref in front of a bunch of kids was a good idea.

Anyway, kids are almost always fine without our raging - our Bear instincts mostly just get in the way.  I'm glad I didn't freak out on this teacher when my kid is actually getting good grades and everything is fine.  But it was weirdly close!  It's the animal instinct, like trying to protect your cubs.  

Be careful!  We all have that inside us, but we have to be wise about when to bring our natural instincts to, um, bear.  (Sorry)

You like funny stuff - buy my book, wouldja?

[manvchild]

Google-Proof

I sometimes miss great mentions of my book because I am GOOGLE-PROOF.  My book's title, the title of my blog too is MAN VS CHILD.  But because there is a cooking show called Man Vs Child, I can't just set up a Google Alert to ping me when there is a nice mention.  What a weird name for a cooking show, right?  I get that it is children against grownups, but where's the cooking part in that title?  Man Vs Child in the Kitchen - there, I fixed it.

And I can't even just have a vanity Google Alert for "Doug Moe" because there are several other prominent Doug Moe’s.  The most well-known is Doug Moe the basketball coach, apparently known for his big personality and sports coats.  I don't know from sports.  But if you search "Doug Moe" on Twitter, you get lots of tweets about old-time Denver Nuggets facts.  And of course, there is Doug Moe, long-time Madison, Wisconsin columnist.  And arch-nemesis Doug Moe, real estate broker in Ventura, California who has the coveted www.dougmoe.com URL, relegating me to the second-class www.dougmoe.net.  *fist shake*

Anyway, I got a nice mention in Tools and Toys that I missed because of my GOOGLE PROOF status.  Tools and Toys is an awesome recommendation site that I've relied on many times, run by the great Shawn Blanc.  He also runs The Sweet Setup which is great for tech recommendations.  Whenever I'm procrastinating, spending my day figuring out if I should write something in Ulysses or Scrivener or, heck I don't know, Word, instead of just ACTUALLY writing something, I usually end my search on The Sweet Setup.

So thanks for the recommendation!  Sorry I missed it until now.  Tools and Toys has great taste and it’s so great to be in their Holiday Gift Guide!

[manvchild]

First Days

I dropped the girl off to her first day of school today and we spent a little time standing together on the blacktop trying to figure out if that was the place we were supposed to be standing.

This standing around in discomfort, this feeling of not knowing how things work, of not knowing anybody - it's one of those things that you get better at, I guess.  Sometimes I’ll get to my show a little early and scan the people waiting at the bar - oh there's that one dude I sort of know and oh yeah, she was a student of mine a bit ago, what's her name?  A lot of times after going through that, I just stand around and wait for someone I really know to show up.  I think that means I’ll pick awkward standing around over awkward small talk most days.

I've sat around like that in waiting rooms at doctor's offices.  I've sat around like that waiting for auditions.  I've sat around like that when my phone dies.

But standing there with my daughter, I was happy to be able to be with her, be a companion in the discomfort, in the figuring it out.  I was happy to take the blame when we were told to move to a different area where sixth graders are supposed to be.  

With no discomfort, there's no discovery.  New stuff gives you the willies and gets you revved up!  The routine's not set yet, you can't sleepwalk it - everything's weird like you're a tourist in another city.  Getting lost, finding your way - that's how new things start.

Happy first day of school everybody - I hope it goes well.  I hope it's a little bewildering.  

[manvchild]

Christmas Balls

Question:  is it okay, and maybe even cute, for a toddler to take a giant silver ornament from a food court Christmas Tree and bounce it up and down like a ball?  I'm not talking about doing it once and stopping.  I'm talking about doing it over and over.  

Or should the parents have stopped the child, since it is not actually a ball.  Or is all chaos allowed if it is done by a cute kid?  Also, the family might have been Italian - are Christmas Balls a thing in Italy?  Or is it just that parents are stupid everywhere?  Maybe we should all strip communal Christmas Trees of their ornaments and do whatever we want with them?

[manvchild]

If your parents were great, who is to blame for your bad parenting? Dad and Buried with a great article and a shout out for my book Man Vs Child...