#matsuda where have you even been………..

[yutamayo]

Discovered Mimiko & Nanako don't have a canon birthday so decided to make theirs the same as their Japanese VAs bc (fun fact) they're also twins!!

So just like their VAs, Mimiko (Risae Matsuda) was born on July 16th and Nanako (Satsumi Matsuda) came a little behind to the point she ended up coming out July 17th lmao (kinda cool being twins born on different days). So I haven't yet made a bday meme for them and I know it's all the way in November now but I think I'll work on a belated @happybirthdayanime post for them this week ❤️

[white-weasel]

When I was sick a month or so ago I started rewatching death note after not seeing it in years…. I now fear I’m coming out of it with a ship 12 year old me would not have been able to fathom

[moyazaika]

have your cake (and eat it too)

yandere! L Lawliet (death note) x gn! reader

cw; L is his own tw, imposter syndrome, explicit nsfw, mdni 18+

genie's notes; yayyy commissioned piece for @ozzgin !!! thank you ozzy my beloved for giving me the opportunity to write about my man ♡ if this feels long that's bc it is LOL i was having sm fun writing it got to 4k words,, can you tell i'm bonkers for this guy,, nevertheless, i hope you enjoy reading as much as i did writing :D

“Take a picture,” you murmur. “It’ll last longer.”

“I know.”

You spare the man sitting besides you a quick glance. Despite the numerous dossiers emptied out onto the oak table before you, the detective’s attention is transfixed solely on you. Has been, for the past few hours. 

“Ryuzaki?” You try again, hoping he’ll get the hint this time.

Stop fucking staring at me.

No such luck. He only tilts his head to the side expectantly and you wonder, not for the first time, whether he enjoys playing the fool, or if he’s just truly ignorant of your discomfort. 

You don’t know which answer would be worse.

What you do know is that you can count on both hands the number of times you’ve been alone in a room with L. After all, it’s the exact same number of times that you’ve silently prayed for Kira to do you a favour and take you next.

The memory of the rest of the task force’s departure is still vivid. Yagami’s sympathetic smile. Matsuda’s shameless commiserations. 

You can barely think. The sensation is strangely claustrophobic. Even now, you can feel the weight of his gaze settling over you like a burden. 

With a weary sigh, you turn back to the pictures you’re thumbing through. All images of Kira’s most recent victims; their pale faces and milky eyes stare back at you with accusation. Months have passed without any sufficient leads and sure, you pull at loose threads when you can—but the mystery never quite unravels itself the way you hope for it to. There are no frayed edges. No loose seams. 

Whoever this guy is, you can tell the smug son of a bitch takes pride in his work. Has you working overtime, too. 

The wall clock across the room reads twenty minutes until five, but you didn’t really need to check the time to know that. With how high up you are, you can already glimpse the makeshift beginnings of dawn through the narrow gaps between Tokyo’s neon-lit buildings. 

Screw this.

You’re going to cut your losses; already know you’re not getting any work done in these conditions. Better to mull over the details in the privacy of your own space—far from prying eyes. 

You take the opportunity to flick through the pictures of civilian corpses once more, committing the details of the dead men’s faces to memory before finally tossing the alarmingly heavy file down onto the desk in front of you, where it lands with a resounding, strangely satisfying thud.

L doesn’t even flinch. 

“I’m going home,” you announce, actively making an effort to avoid meeting the man’s eyes. Your chair scrapes against the floor as you stand, and the noise is unbearably loud within the otherwise silent room. 

“So soon?”

You laugh at that. “It’s four in the morning, Ryuzaki.”

“Hm. So it is.”

“Time flies,” you shrug on your coat. “When are you going to leave?”

You ask out of politeness rather than any genuine curiosity. The question mumbled absently as you rummage around in your pockets for your hotel keycard. 

You’re not from Tokyo. Just staying here for as long as the task force needs you to. Called in months ago from a nearby prefecture because of your stellar track record. You like to think you’re intelligent, and that Japan’s top minds recognised that about you. You suppose it doesn’t really hurt that you’ve got some connections to the national police force. 

Though you’re glad to be trusted with the case, and happy to be here—you’ve never really cared much for the city of Tokyo itself. You miss the humdrum of the countryside; the constant chirping of cicadas hidden amidst tall blades of grass. A clear, blue sky unblemished by the fine points of soulless skyscrapers. Weaving through crowds without wondering whether one of them might be the mass murderer you’re hunting down.

L’s monotonous drawl snaps you out of your thoughts. Brings you back to exactly where you are right now and not necessarily where you’d prefer to find yourself, instead.

“I won’t.”

“You won’t?”

“Yes,” he repeats. Enunciates the syllables as if speaking to a child. No further clarification.

“I’m sorry.” You’re really not. “Are you seriously going to sleep here again?” You honestly don’t mean to sound disrespectful but the incredulity in your tone is difficult to mask. Much less in the presence of the world’s greatest detective. 

The stories are true. You found them difficult to believe at first, but since then, you’ve confirmed the extent of L’s genius with your own observations. The man before you can function perfectly without any sleep for days on end. You remember the first time you’d left the office; come back the next morning to find L hadn’t moved an inch from where you’d left him last night. 

Even still, it’s hard not to notice the prominent bags under his black eyes. The state of his clothes, all crumpled. The greasy, unkempt hair that frames his face. Despite his intellect, he’s still only human.

Even if it can be alarmingly easy to forget that.

“Why?” L asks blankly. “Are you offering me an alternative?”

Briefly, you think of the deputy director learning, come morning, that you’d left L to his own devices; The hard lines of disappointment marring his features. The disapproval in his otherwise polite gaze. He can’t be left alone. Something about being far too valuable, if you recall correctly. Or did he say vulnerable?

Regardless, you already feel like some charity case, even though you know that you’ve clawed your way to be here; called in favours and kissed the feet of men far beneath you. You deserve to be on the Kira task force as much as everybody else. Yet, you know what your answer will be long before you’ve even said anything. 

Something tells you L knows, too. He’s never been the sort of man to ask questions that serve him no greater purpose. 

Sometimes, you detest people like Matsuda for the ease with which they inhabit such unwelcoming spaces so boldly. The ability to exist so openly, without inhibition. But you detest yourself most of all, especially in moments like this where you’re burdened by the need to prove your belonging.

Well– 

Are you offerring me an alternative?

–Shit.

“Yes.” you concede, not even bothering to look back at him as you reach to call for the elevator. Press the button with considerably more force than you should. “I suppose I am.” 

You’re not nice. You’re certainly not charitable. But you are easy.

You spare him an exasperated glance over your shoulder when the doors finally slide open with a yielding sigh. From behind you, L makes no indication to move. You begin to doubt if he’s even heard you. Or, more specifically, whether he was ever really listening to begin with. His black eyes can feel so fucking vacant, sometimes.

“You coming?” you impatiently tap your foot against the carpeted floor as you hold the elevator open with narrowed eyes. “Or do I need to send you an invitation, Ryuzaki?”

“No need.” At that, L finally stands. He offers you one of his rare, private smiles; “I believe you already have.”

-

There are a couple of things you come to notice about L that day, when the ongoing investigation isn’t at the forefront of your buzzing mind.

It’s there, of course, because it’s difficult for any person to forget all of those dead faces; the list of unanswered questions growing by the hour—but the moment you slide your key into the lock and it turns with a satisfying click to open right into your little hotel room, it feels like a weight’s been lifted off your shoulders.

Take, for example, L’s penchant to be barefoot. He immediately steps out of his shoes the moment you kick the door shut behind you. Sinks his toes into the carpet (stained, and scratchy) with a blissful sigh. 

You're choosing to ignore that.

Better not to drive yourself up the wall by paying attention to every little thing he does.

“Hungry?” you shrug off your coat and toss it onto the sofa.

“Sure.” And it’s not exactly a response, but you think this is the best you’re going to get from the man. Go rummaging through the fridge straight away, as you wave for him to take a sit in the tiny living room across from you. 

“I know you have a sweet tooth,” The leather sofa crackles beneath his weight as he perches right on the edge, legs tucked up against his chest and his head resting over his knees sideways; so that he’s watching you in the kitchen. “So I’m cutting you a slice of some cake I made last weekend. Couldn’t finish it by myself if I tried.”

You eye him wearily as you set down the plates on the coffee table before the sofa, making sure to leave as much distance as is possible between the two of you when you sit down.

He sort of reminds you like a cat when he's like this, all curled up and comfortable. When he tries his first spoonful of sponge cake, he might as well start purring with delight. “This is good,” he mumbles between bites. “I didn’t know you could bake.”

“Yeah?” You impatiently drum your fingers against the armrest. “Well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

The moment stretches for longer than it should. 

You meet the detective’s eyes head on, find they’re as wide as saucers, staring back at you; and peering right inside. It feels downright voyeuristic and so fucking violating, the way you can feel him peeling back everything that you are to assess something nestled much, much deeper within. 

You look away first, and the moment you do, you hear L hum approvingly—he sounds pleased, almost.

And though you know he would never seriously consider you competition, you still can’t shake the strange feeling that you’ve lost at something.

“No." L concludes. "No, I don’t think so.”

He sets his plate down on the table with a clink and you’re not surprised to find he’s already finished eating. All that remains is a single cherry; so violently red against the pale porcelain it sits on. 

“Tell me,” He pinches the stem between his forefinger and thumb, and it’s the first reprieve you’re gifted from the weight of his calculating gaze; as his attention shifts to the sweet fruit he holds. “Why do you hate me?”

Shit, you realise your fingers are digging into the cracks in the leather armrest; flex your hand a few times before making an attempt to calmly fold them in your lap. Maybe because you make me feel like a fucking failure?

“I think you’re too smart for your own good.”

He gives that some thought. “As are you.”

It’s laughable, really. L is leagues above you in terms of intelligence. Prestige. Power. Who are you standing next to one of the greatest minds in the world? Who are you to deign that he recognises you?

You refuse to even recognise yourself. 

“You don’t believe that,” you scoff. 

“I do. I knew it from the moment you were first introduced to me.” 

You pick up on something strange about the way he phrases it; the necessity of awareness required from both parties in a first introduction.

I'm losing it.

You shake your head, abandoning the tendrils of something akin to unease that had just begun to creep up on you. When else would he have first known you? It's a stupid thought. You’re not exactly the sort of person preceded by some magnificent reputation. 

“Sure,” you decide to entertain him nevertheless, if only to see how far he’ll go. You wonder whether this is as close to gratitude as L can express, but is it for the hospitality or for the cake or for something in between? “And why was that, Ryuzaki?”

“L,” he corrects you. “Because even then, you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“And that’s what supposedly makes me a genius?” you scrunch your nose, “because I don’t like you?”

“So you insist on maintaining,” he drawls. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Did you know, detective,” L ventures thoughtfully, “your heart rate always spikes quite dramatically whenever you’re alone with me.” His black eyes flicker to meet yours as he breaks off the stem—pops the cherry between his grinning lips. 

You dig your nails into the skin of your palm. Focus on the sharp sensations of precise pain; imagine the little indents of crescent moons that will litter your skin later on. 

“Ah,” your voice is unfamiliar even to your own ears. “Is that so?”

He eats the stem next, and you notice, not for the first time, that the man's skin is so pale, it’s like a thin sheet has been stretched tight over brittle bones. You can easily trace the jagged lines of blue and purple veins that curl around and underneath his face.

L’s lithe fingers reach into his mouth where the dark stem sits between his teeth. You catch a glimpse of his tongue as he pulls out the stem, now damp, and examines it between his fingers; holds it up to the light.

It takes you a few moments to realise he must be admiring his efforts. Or, rather just observing them. You’re not really sure if L is capable of awe. Whether he cares for it, given how easily he earns it; must not mean much to him.

(You’ll find out later that he is capable of awe, though there are more important things he hopes to garner.)

The cherry stem’s all folded up on itself; he’s tied it into a knot with his tongue. 

Instinctively, your eyes dart to his mouth. “I didn’t know you could do that,” you confess lowly. “Neat party trick, huh?”

And the moment you voice the thought, you wish you’d stayed silent. The curl of his lips is infuriatingly self-satisfied, as if he’s in on some grand secret you’re not quite privy to; it feels the closest L will ever get to outright mockery, yet even then, there is something you must have mistaken for sincerity in his gaze. 

You’re not sure whether that makes you feel better, or worse.

“There’s a lot,” L confesses slowly, “that you don’t know about me.”

It doesn’t escape you that even something as simple as this sounds truer when L says it.

-

Later, the dishes have been cleared away and though you can barely keep your eyes open, you’re rummaging through your suitcase to pass him a new toothbrush because, you insist, you always carry spares. L admits he's never had to brush his own teeth before.

One hand on his jaw, and another curled around the brand new toothbrush you'd managed to dig out for him, you give him a reluctant demonstration.

You don't think he listens to a word you say; his attention seems to be focused elsewhere.

After his turn, you pad into the attached bathroom and brush your own teeth with the overhead lights switched off.

Tired, you don’t notice as you unscrew the lid of your old toothpaste that your own brush’s bristles are wet, whereas the toothbrush you’d handed to L is still unopened in its plastic packaging, left positioned neatly by the basin. 

-

L is garishly tall. 

It can be easy to forget that considering how often he’s hunched over a desk or curled up in a chair. When he stretches to yawn, his shirt rides up his abdomen, revealing a pale sliver of skin underneath. You avert your gaze. The last thing you need is to be caught staring.

“Take the bed,” you offer, already sinking into the loveseat's cushions.

L stares at you as he scratches his jaw. “I don’t sleep in beds.”

You don’t even want to begin deciphering that statement. You’re beginning to think this cryptic act is purposeful; that he gets off on being evasive. Out of reach. 

You’re not even sure if he can see you, considering how dark it is in the room, but you put on your sweetest smile all the same. It feels vindictive and thrilling and you believe it’s the least he deserves.

“Well, cheers to trying new things, Ryuzaki.”

He says nothing in response, and even though he’s nothing more than a vague silhouette in the absence of light, you manage to make out the slowly way he climbs into the bed—crawls to the edge of the Queen bed that’s closest to your own spot. Pulls up the duvet to his chin, and lies on his side so he's directly facing you.

It’s unnerving. You wish desperately in times like these that you could click his head open like a purse and look inside; it's impossible to tell what he's thinking.

And then he starts talking.

-

Finally, there’s a lull in your conversation that stretches far too long.

You make no effort to salvage the exchange, relishing in its conclusion, and much to your relief, neither does your partner. It’s not necessarily that L’s bad company but it’s also not not that he’s impossibly infuriating to talk to. You just want to sleep. It's been a long fucking day.

You close your eyes, allowing a welcome silence to settle inside the stuffy room. 

…

Then you try to ignore it.

…

You really, really do.

…

Much to your dismay, even your best efforts prove futile. The quiet doesn’t last nearly as long as you’d like. 

“Ryuzaki,” In the face of overwhelming fatigue, all niceties are forgotten and honesty reigns supreme. “Why the fuck can I feel your eyes on me?”

“I can’t sleep,” he simply responds, in lieu of a proper answer. 

You might’ve laughed if you weren’t so tired. Unlike him, you unfortunately do not have the seemingly inhumane ability to function properly without multiple consecutive nights of sleep. So, with a long sigh, you decide to let it slide.

Just one more time. 

Then, with disapproval evident in your weary voice, because it would feel too much like accepting defeat to say nothing at all; “you know, normal people usually just count sheep.”

“Mm." The sheets rustle. "Sleep well.” 

“...Thanks. You, too.”

Behind the heavy blackout curtains of the hotel room, the sky turns a soft, dreamy lilac. 

Outside, some parts of Tokyo wake up to the mellifluous sound of morning’s first birdsong, and others take that as their queue to drunkenly stumble home in search of a warm bed to fall into.

On the busy streets dozens of stories below yours, the city moves as it always does. Vibrant and alive—though waiting with bated breath in anticipation of death; Kira the only constant in this new world.

You don’t even realise you’ve dozed off in the armchair; sleep is simply a welcome reprieve from such a long day. A privilege, and not the routine it used to be.

You dream of running away from something. Of simply falling through a solid floor.

Conversely, though he has taken your advice, L finds rest evades him.

Content with staying awake, he takes the rare opportunity to simply observe you from across the room, and it’s such a fascinating sight, to finally see you so at peace. You usually run on such a short fuse. Well-meaning, but difficult to deal with nonetheless. You like to be seen; hate to be stared at. 

Aren’t you a charmer?

In the pale beginnings of dawn, he is a silent shepherd. He smiles at the thought, whilst gnawing on his thumbnail. 

The sheep he counts all have your face.

-

You’re not sure what exactly it is that wakes you up, but it’s quiet when you do.

Even still, something causes you to stir, and before you know it, you’re pulled out of a sleep you hadn’t even realised you’d fallen into with bleary, blinking eyes that adjust to the dark and land on—

Nothing. A startling absence where L’s body should be.

The bed’s empty, and the crinkled duvet has been hastily tossed to one side. You notice that the warm glow of the nauseatingly yellow bathroom lighting spills out from behind the door, left open just a crack. It strikes you as strange, that the door’s not fully closed. You feel justified in looking in. Call it concern. Curiosity. 

Does it really matter?

“Ryuzaki?” you venture, stepping closer. No answer. The silence is strangely more overbearing when you’re standing right in front of the bathroom door. With a hand resting on the brass knob, you decide to try once more. “Hey. L?” Silence, still and true.

It feels a lot like peering into Pandora’s box, when you inevitably do push the door open. 

Look inside. And, huh—

There is L, hunched over the sink. 

In one hand, he is holding what is unmistakably your underwear. You recognise the soft cotton instinctively, even though it’s balled up tight in his fist and he’s pressing the fabric against his nose; shuddering when he breathes in, languidly long and deep like a desperate smoker's drag of his last cigarette.

The lighting overhead casts sweeping shadows over his pale face, but despite the darkness the rest of his features are enshrouded in, you still manage to make out those black eyes; blown wide, wide open. Thick and heavy like eerily lucid, deep, dark pools of tar you can feel yourself getting sucked into.

His hand works at a methodologically steady pace. His breathing is perfectly controlled as he works at his cock with deft fingers. His tip is flushed a painful pink, leaks pre that’s been smeared down the shaft’s length. Between glimpses, you manage to make out prominent veins that eagerly pulse in response to his touch. 

Proud. Heavy.

Hungry to sink into something far tighter than his fist.

—Your breath catches in your throat. It is impossible to look away. 

The following moments are hazy, at best. Time seems to slow down to a crawl when the scene before you clicks into place, and the world moves in still frames after that; the last one lingering too long and imposing over the next. 

You don’t remember saying anything, but you must have let a gasp slip past your parted lips. Stumbled backwards, perhaps. Some involuntary indication of your presence, peering in behind him.  

Time fractures completely when L looks up; gaze snapping straight to meet yours in the mirror.

You catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection, looking so laughably petrified—clearly just having rolled out of bed. There is not a single thing to be said as he lets his black eyes wander, appraisal silent and shameless as he drinks in the state of you; all tousled hair and crumpled clothes and bare feet. 

His hands work faster then. His movements grow jerkier, breathing shallow. Eyes flutter shut, finally looking away from you, as his grip on your underwear tightens—knuckles white from the sheer effort of holding on, refusing to let go and inhaling your scent—nose buried desperately deep in the dirty cotton. Pathetically fervent. Chasing that blissful high with a new vigour. 

You have been taught by many a smart man to never go seeking answers to questions when you do not wish to face them.

And so, when you glimpse this stranger’s tongue dart out to wet his cracking, dry lips the exact moment they wrap around the shape of a familiar name—hear the syllables repeated with a devotion akin to reverence; something like prayer—the man shudders exactly when you do.

Comes undone just as you slam the door shut.

You’re standing there in what you think might be shock, with a shaking hand resting against the doorknob. You choose to focus on the way in which the hair on your arm stands on end. Because if it’s not that, it’d be the sound of the tap running. 

The door swings open abruptly. The man breezes past you, and quietly crawls back into bed. Rooted to where you stand, it’s all you can do to turn over your shoulder and observe him.

He catches you staring, merely tilts his head to the side from where he’s settled into the sheets, a coy little lilt to his lips. 

For the first time, you’re the one who doesn’t look away. Couldn’t, even if you tried. Stygian strands of hair fall over his eyes, the darkest black they’ve ever been. Despite the fact that it feels like you’re staring at a stranger, facing him is familiar, as it always is; like wading into a thick tar.

Viscous and heavy and clinging.

You might’ve missed what he said if you weren’t so hyper focused on his every minute movement. His words are barely above a whisper, after all, and carry a strange lilt—as if recited, almost. Like he’s reading a line; performing some private joke.

“Take a picture,” L smiles knowingly. “It’ll last longer.”

[luvfy0dor]

Bites or Hickeys? Various x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

Warnings; suggestive, obv biting, hickeys, perhaps ooc,

Fandoms; Bungo Stray Dogs, Death Note, Attack on Titan, Obey Me

A/n; ogs remember when I was purple, but anyways happy 1 year of writing to me!! I'm super proud of my account and I'm so insanely thankful for all the love I've received and acquaintances/friends I've made. Thank you guys so much <3 even tho there have been times where I really thought I'd quit, I kept going and I'm so grateful I did

Bites ★

The feeling of their teeth sinking into your skin makes them feel almost electric, as if a spark has been lit inside their chest and cause an explosion of carnal desire. Some are softer with it, kissing and licking over the imprints of their teeth to soothe the mild pain it might have caused, but others just bite and move on to the next unoccupied spot. They can't help how desperate they are for you and to prove to themselves that they have you, and their affectionate gestures prove that theyre yours. After all, they'd never do the same for anyone else. Ofcourse after the heat of the moment died down, whether they were gentler or rougher earlier, they'd kiss over the indents and whisper soft praises and murmurs about whatever came to mind. Moments like those were their favorites- second to the actual rendezvous, ofcourse.

• RANPO, Dazai, Akutagwa, Kaji, Twain, Sasha, Zeke, Pieck, MELLO, Belphie, Satan, Leviathan

Hickeys ★

They prefer giving hickeys, sometimes because they think it's classier than biting, and others because they don't want to hurt you by biting too hard. They will, however, make you look just as ravaged, littering your pretty skin with dark, organically shaped marks. Their hands pin your wrists above your head while they suck and lick at your neck, humming as if they were enjoying a meal made by a world-class chef. Their eyes would flicker up to meet yours every now and again, lips curling upwards as they shove one of their knees between yours, allowing you to grind against their thigh while they make quick work of undoing your top and belt. They're far more shameless when they're leaving them along your thighs, so shameless that you almost look like you were bruised- no one was going to see them anyways, so why should they be modest? They'd be lying if they said being able to claim you in such a way didnt turn them on. ♡⁠˖

• fyodor, Sigma, Kunikida, Ango, Mori, Fitzgerald, Fukuzawa, Margaret, Poe, Erwin, Mikasa, Reiner, Historia, Lucifer

Both! ★

They simply can't choose, whether adorning your neck and thighs in dark, dotted half-moons or burgundy splotches, they can't get enough of you. They usually leave them in concealed places, but sometimes it's so difficult to not mark you up all over, especially when you're writhing underneath them and clinging to them like a vice because their lips and mouth just feel that good. You'd intertwines your fingers in their hair, pulling them closer or tugging them away when you're lying breathlessly in the wrinkled and messy sheets. They'd ask you if it's too much, rubbing circles into the sides of your hips with a wide, cheeky grin. God, you looked so good underneath them, all bashful and shy with your eyes half lidded and your lips slightly agape. Your labored breaths and quiet sighs were like music to their ears, so really, how could they choose just one when they could give you both and double the fun? ♡⁠˖

• NIKOLAI, Chuuya, yosano, bram, Oda, Atsushi, Lucy, Mushitaro, Tecchou, Tachihara, Eren, jean, Connie, Armin, Hange, maybeee levi, Ymir, Matt, Matsuda, Misa, im torn between both and neither for L, Mammon, Asmo, Beel

Neither ★

They prefer not to leave a physical mark on you, but rather give you a good time to remember them by. A mark will fade quicker than a memory. ♡⁠˖

• Nathaniel Hawthorne, Light, Jouno

A/n: hey chat I didn't realize today was my anniversary so I kinda speedran the characters, it might not be SUIUUPER in character so I'm sorry 😞

[ghoularaki]

tw yandere, dollification, kidnapping, size kink, reader wears lolita fashion, daddy kink, noncon/dubcon

thinking about a soft yandere that just really likes cute things.

he's overall a very normal dude. sure, he looks like he should be in a gang, but he swears that's just his resting face. his office job makes him smoke chain cigarettes, but compared to what other people are doing to take the edge off, he thinks he's doing pretty alright for himself.

despite his very outwardly tough look, he's always like the... softer things in life. since growing up, he always wanted to play with dolls and have stuffed animals, but his father was quick to shoot that down. now that he was an adult with adult money, sure he could just buy all the cute things he wanted, but he has a reputation to upkeep. by most people in his life he's deemed this cold, stoic guy and he rather keep it that way since he's really just an introvert that hates meeting knew people.

he's had plenty of girlfriends. they were always the same type--cute, smaller than him and had this whimsy to them that reminded him of a doll. he always would buy them stuffed animals, glittery stationary and the like as gifts even though secretly he wanted to keep them for himself. but none of them really clicked with him. every time, he felt like something was missing in the relationship.

now well into his thirties he was ready to admit defeat, that he just wasn't built for love when you literally stumbled into his life. you were the new office worker at his job. you must have been running late because you were honestly quite a mess. your hair windblown, soft pink button down in disarray and you were frantically trying to organize your papers when you bumped straight into him. he barely moved while you bounced back and almost fell on your butt if he didn't catch you.

"watch it," he barked. (he didn't mean to, he was just frazzled by the very pretty, very cute woman that just crashed into him.)

you had to crane your head up to look at him and he swore you had stars in your eyes. you instantly apologized and explained today was your first day and you were lost and that you didn't want to get fire on your first day--

he raised a hand since you started to ramble. he didn't say a word as he grabbed half your pile and directed you to where you needed to go. you followed behind him like a puppy and he made sure you stayed behind him because you did not need to see the almost boyish smile that wanted to creep up on his face. he was so fucked.

since that day, he couldn't get you out of his head. to his luck, you two were in the same department so he got to see you every weekday. he was right to describe you as a puppy. you had this bounce to you that it seemed other coworkers couldn't resist. you brought light to the otherwise dreary office with your overly pink and glittery stationary (one time you let him borrow a pen and he couldn't help himself and kept it), the wallpaper on your computer was kittens and you always wear these pastel mary-janes with a bow on them. he was sure they weren't part of the dress code but no one had the heart to tell you.

he could tell some of the other workers were trying to flirt with you by offering their help, but you always politely refused. for some reason you would go to him for help. and he could always tell when you had a question. you would shyly shuffle your feet over to his desk with your arms behind you in such a coquettish way.

"hey mister matsuda, can you tell me how add up the cells in the spreadsheet again?"

you would always call him mister, so polite and sweet. even when he would grumble about it, he would still get up and show you again. he didn't mean to but he couldn't help himself when he would crowd you around your desk. one hand on your chair, leaning down so close your cheeks almost brushed as he pointed at the screen. he liked how you started to fumble with your words, obviously effected by the proximity.

you would also call him grumpy often. if he was having a particular not good morning, even you, he did not want to have the bullshit office small talk. but when he would only grunt on a response, you would get this pout and quite brattily fire back, "you're such a grump, you know that?"

mumbling a "fuck off" as he walked away, he made a beeline to the bathroom because you can't see how hard that made him.

you were truly and utterly testing his patience. for months it went on like this. the more you would tease him and seek him out, this obsession raged in his belly. it was the same feeling he would get when he was a child and saw a doll he wanted but couldn't have. he would go home and all his thoughts were about you. you were like a limited edition toy he just had to have.

he doesn't want to admit the amount of times he fisted his own cock wishing it was you wrapped around him instead. you would look so pretty on your knees before him, your mouth stuffed wide open as you stared up at him with those doe eyes. or the sounds you would make bouncing on his cock. from the tiny groans you would make when stretching your arms above you, a sliver of your tummy flashing him, he knew your sounds would be heavenly.

the last straw was the whole department decided to have a outing together. to blow off some steam at a local karaoke bar, get drunk and just be silly together. everyone came free of their office attire and in their usual clothing. he didn't look much different, dressed head to toe in black, his wire framed glasses slipping down his nose. he was standing in the circle of male coworkers, a cigarette pinched between his fingers. his cheeks hollowed as he took a puff, head down as he kicked a rock away.

"those will kill you, you know?" he heard your voice behind him.

as he turned to look at you with a playful scowl on his face, his words got caught in his throat.

"OMG y/n you look so cute!" a female coworker squealed as she run over and gave you hug and continued gushing, "you're like a little doll."

the cigarette in his hand fell as his mouth fell open. there you stood in a puffy dress lined with frills and bows. it was pink and red with lacy hearts adorning it along with a headband you wear that matched perfectly. you had the same mary-janes you always wore with frilly socks to tie everything together.

he snapped his jaw shut when you waved excitedly at him. you skipped over to him with a bright smile. standing right in front of him, you clutched your heart-shaped bag in front of you while rocking heel toe heel toe.

"i didn't think you would come."

"tanaka forced me out," he grumbled, trying very hard not to stare.

when you giggled and slapped his arm, teasing him once more, he knew he had to have you.

he knew he was being sloppy and careless as he insisted that he could take you home. everyone else was plastered besides him. it was the end of the night as they all stumbled out. you were much more of a light-weight than he thought. about four drinks in and you were gone. at some point you had fallen asleep. everyone else was too drunk to notice, but he kept an eye on you. you were like a doll with your fluttering lashes.

he had gently put you on his back to give you a piggy back ride. as the rest of his coworkers left in either cabs or walked home, he waited until the coast was clear. your apartment was the opposite way and he didn't want anyone to catch on. he barely struggled as he started the 20 minute trek to his own abode.

his large hands clutched onto your thighs as you snuggled your face further into his neck. his breath hitched as your sighs brushed up against the sensitive flesh.

don't get a boner in public, don't get a boner in public, don't get a boner in public, he begged in his head.

making it to his apartment, he gently laid you down on his bed. with no ill intentions, he took off your shoes and your headband. your bag he held, he placed on his dresser. shuffling you into a more comfortable position, he laid his blanket over you. as much as he wanted to sleep in the same bed, he decided you needed to be eased into it and left to sleep on the couch.

he woke up just when he heard you groan out in pain. getting up, he grabbed some ibuprofen and juice. knocking on his own door, he opened it without waiting for you to give permission. you were sitting at the end of the bed clutching your head, whining.

"take it," he shoved the pills and cup to you and you gladly took it.

he swallowed as he watched you take the medicine no questions asked. you trusted him more than you should.

"where am i?"

"my apartment."

you only nodded your head, but winced as your headache only got worse from the movement. you knew nothing happened as you were in the same clothes as yesterday and your stuff was neatly put off to the side. his apartment was surprisingly bare with a lighter color scheme than you were imagining. there were also cat toys scattered around. you didn't expect him to be the type to have pets.

"give me a bit and i'll be out of your hair, promise," you tried to smile, but your head was killing you. that's what you get for trying to keep up with tanaka.

matsuda crossed his arms with a solemn look, "you're not leaving."

wow, you must be a lot more hungover than you thought. "huh?"

locking his bedroom door behind him, he leaned against it and repeated himself. you looked so lost and confused. still clad in the dress, you were like those crying baby dolls. he wanted to feel guilty, but he couldn't. this was your fault for tempting him.

as it clicked in your head he wasn't joking, tears bubbled over. you both knew there was no way you could over power him. you clutched your chest as hiccups wracked through your body.

matsuda quickly shushed you as he walked over and stood between your legs and hugged your head to his stomach. still, you wrapped your arms around his torso and dug your fingers into his shirt.

"can't you let me go and just ask me out?" you sobbed.

petting your hair, he shook his head, "no, i can't."

after that day, he made you quit your job due to a family emergency. despite the circumstances, he was oddly nice and respectful. he made sure to grab all your belonging from your apartment and bring them to his. every day he would dress you up in your lolita attire and do your makeup. he always made sure to give you plenty of blush.

due to all your stuffed animals, limited edition dolls and girly decor, his apartment looked more like a woman owned it than a man. but he didn't seem to care at all. over time, he bought you more plushies and toys. though, you could tell any time he added them to your ever growing pile, he wanted to play with them himself.

matsuda kept it very pg until one day he came home in a horrible mood. he threw his briefcase down harder than needed while grumbling to himself. he stormed into his room with a glare and tugged his tie off his neck.

"i'm sorry, princess, but i really need this."

he strung his tie over your wrists and pulled the fabric taut. you didn't even have time to protest as he forced you further onto the bed until you were propped up by the assortment of stuffed animals. he groaned as you looked like a doll surrounded by other toys. ripping your panties down and lifting up your skirts, he went moon-eyed at your puffy, pretty pussy.

one-handed he kept your wrists down as he kneeled between your thighs. shoving your legs over his, he widened them to see your lips part to reveal your clit and fluttering hole.

"do you like this?" he questioned, his fingers dipping down to swirl the bud.

you whined as you turned your head to hide into the crook of your elbow.

"don't do that. don't hide from daddy."

unconsciously, your hips bucked up. he easily caught that and a crooked grin split across his face. leaning down, he sweetly kissed your cheek. trailing down further, he slipped two digits into your cunt. you gasped as he curled his fingers, aiming for the spongy spot deep in you.

kissing down until he reached your neck, he let you hide your face. it left the slope of your throat of full display. licking and sucking deep bruising into the skin, he thrusted his fingers deeper in you. he smiled into your neck as you shuttered.

"found it," he smugly whispered.

crooking his fingers upwards, he pet against your g-spot in such laggard motions. he wanted to take his time with you. slick clicking sounds carried throughout the room from your sloppy cunt.

using his thumb, he pressed against your clit. your back bowed as he swirling the bud and bit into the juncture of your shoulder. more moans dribbled out of you as he stayed at the same exact pace.

"d-daddy," you gasped out with fluttering lids.

he groaned as pre-cum coated his boxers and dress pants. he was so glad you were distracted or else you would notice the dark patch at his crotch. his dick throbbed as you climbed closer and closer to your edge.

biting right where your pulse was, you toppled over with a whiny cry. your thighs spasms as your hips canted, chasing your orgasm. tiny tears bubbled in your waterline like pearls. another whine rumbled in your chest as he pulled his fingers out to rub against your tummy.

with a heaving chest, you turned to look at him as he leaned back. your lips were swollen and shiny, and your eyes were hazy. you looked cute enough to eat. unable to help himself, he dipped his fingers back down. he needed to see you cum again.

he can't help it, he loved cute things.

[staratinia]

The 2nd Debate: Can men tell?

Synopsis: You and the task force debate another topic: Can men tell if a woman is faking an orgasm?

Warning: suggestive topic

wc: 1.5k

_________________________________________

It starts the way most tragedies start: Misa’s legs across your lap, a spoon of parfait hanging mid-air, and too many men in one room.

"So anyway," Misa chirps between bites, "I faked it. Obviously."

The room suspends in time. Matt slowly lowers his goggles. Mello freezes mid-chocolate-chomp. Matsuda makes a sound like a car hitting a mailbox. Light—Light simply sets his pen down and exhales like someone just broke a vase in his soul.

"I’m sorry," Mello says slowly, turning to her like she’s a crime scene. "What the hell did you just say?"

"I faked it," Misa repeats, all sunshine and murder. "He was all, 'yeah, baby, take it,' and I was mentally checking my Amazon wishlist."

You burst out laughing.

Light cuts in, adjusting his collar like he’s trying not to strangle himself with it. "This is already spiraling. But…it is a good question."

You raise an eyebrow. "You interested in the academic pursuit of fake orgasms, Yagami?"

"I’m open to discussion," he says calmly, but his voice has that dangerous let’s-solve-this-with-math edge. "We’re clearly in uncharted territory here. So let’s clarify: can men reliably tell when a woman fakes it?"

"Absolutely not," you say.

"I can," Mello declares confidently, which is how you know he absolutely can’t.

"No," Misa says. "There’s a difference between being attentive and narrating your own p*rn script while we do all the acting."

"They can’t tell," you say, tone firm. "And if they say they can, they’re lying, delusional, or both."

"That’s bullshit," Mello snaps. "I always know."

"You always think you know," Misa corrects. "Very different."

"You think moaning means it's real?" you snort. "Sweetheart, sometimes I moan to match rhythm. Like a metronome."

"Okay, then explain what you’re doing. Lying there, giving Oscar-worthy fake moans?"

"Sometimes, yeah," you say sweetly. "Sometimes we even toss in a twitch or a leg shake to sell the performance."

Mello looks genuinely betrayed. "*You guys have moves?"

"We have full choreography."

"But why?!" Matsuda says, devastated. "Why would you fake it?"

"To get it over with," you and Misa say together, flatly.

"Sometimes," Misa adds, "it's either that or crush your ego like a wet paper cup."

Matt wheezes, slouching deeper into his chair. "So I’ve been out here doing my best and getting simulated applause?"

"You’ve been getting politely excused from the stage," You smirk.

"I hate this," Mello growls. "So what do we do? Just ask?"

"Yes," you and Misa say in unison.

"What vibe, Mello?" you say, deadpan. "The vibe where she’s faking it to your rhythm and wondering if she left the stove on?"

"Ask? In the moment? That’s insane. That ruins the vibe."

Matt holds up a hand. "Can we get a definition of a real orgasm vs a fake one, for… scientific clarity?"

"Real orgasm?" you say. "You forget your last name, your credit score drops 20 points, and you speak in tongues."

"Fake orgasm?" Misa chimes in. "You make the same sound you do when you’re stretching. ‘Oooh yes.’”

Light sighs. "Okay, so if we remove the performative aspect—sighing, moaning, tremors—what are the involuntary markers?"

And that’s when L looks up. No warning. No sound. Just death incarnate, perched on his rolling chair, eyes dark and glittering like an abyss with a Wi-Fi signal.

"There are seven."

The room screeches to a halt.

"Seven what?" Matt says slowly.

"Seven orgasmic indicators that cannot be faked consistently unless the performer is a trained actress with an unusually detailed grasp of pelvic floor biology," L says, sipping tea like he’s saying "pass the salt."

Mello blinks. "Okay. Fuck. What are they?"

L holds up his hand and counts off with his fingers:

"Spasmodic contractions in the pelvic floor—typically rhythmic and between 0.8–1.2 second intervals."

"Clitoral retraction, followed by increased sensitivity, often to the point of pain."

"Gluteal tension release. This one’s subtle- most overlook it."

"Pulse spike exceeding 140 BPM."

"Pupillary dilation. Irregular breathing."

"Immediate shift in verbal capacity—loss of coherent speech or substitution of language with unintelligible vocalizations."

"Post-orgasmic awareness lag. A woman who came will take 7–23 seconds longer to respond to nonsexual stimuli."

Everyone stares.

"You just know that?" Misa breathes.

"I wrote my thesis on it," L replies. "It was titled 'The Climax Conundrum: Detecting Deception in Post-Coital Behavior.'"

Light looks over slowly. "I want to read that."

"You can’t," L says. "I submitted it anonymously to avoid social consequences."

"Too late," you say. "The social consequences are here."

"Jesus," Matt breathes. "You’ve been researching."

"He’s been collecting data," you say, squinting. "L, do you have a spreadsheet for this?"

"I do," L replies. "It’s color-coded and anonymous. Except Mello's entry. His was emotional."

"I never filled that out," Mello snaps.

"You screamed it aloud in the kitchen," Near says. "That counts as consent."

"I’m surrounded by freaks," Mello mutters. "I just want to be able to tell when a girl’s not into it. That’s it. Why is that so hard?"

"Because you think ‘being into it’ looks like a bad adult video" Misa says. "Meanwhile, real orgasms are messy. Unsexy. She probably says your name like it hurt."

Matt leans over to Light. "Yo, are you okay with all this?"

"Actually," Light says calmly, scribbling something down, "I find it enlightening. Women deserve to finish. If I have to alter my own technique, so be it."

Misa fans herself. "Oh my god. Say that again, but slowly."

"Women. Deserve. To finish."

"He's becoming too powerful," Matt whispers. "He’s hot and informed."

"I feel spiritually attacked," Mello mutters. "I hate that I’m the one yelling and he’s the one getting laid for it."

"Mello," Light cuts in, adjusting his tie with that exact face he makes before he says something awful but infuriatingly correct, "you’re projecting a lot of emotional distress for someone who claims to be getting women off consistently."

"EXCUSE ME?"

"If you were confident, you wouldn’t be yelling."

"I’M YELLING BECAUSE EVERYONE IS LYING."

Near finally speaks without looking up: "Statistically, women fake orgasms more often with men who lack emotional attunement or self-awareness."

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?"

"It means you're loud, sweaty, and ignoring their clit," Matt translates.

Mello grabs a throw pillow and screams into it.

L, quietly, sets his teacup down "In empirical studies, roughly 48% of women admitted to faking an orgasm at least once. Of those, over 85% stated their partner did not notice. When asked how they performed it, most cited vocal performance, timing cues, and mimicking muscular contractions."

Matt raises a brow. "So… fake moaning, squirming, some heavy breathing?"

"Yes," L replies. "Though many also described using repetition of phrases such as ‘right there,’ or ‘don’t stop,’ to hasten the process."

Light’s mouth twitches. "So encouraging sounds can mean you’re doing it right or doing it very wrong."

"Yes," L says calmly. "The average male is not trained in reading involuntary physiological responses under arousal. This, combined with ego, creates the illusion of skill."

Mello looks like he's about to combust. "You think I’m an illusion?!"

"You are statistically at high risk of misidentifying performative pleasure," L says. "Your confidence is excessive. That correlates negatively with accuracy."

"I’m going to start waterboarding people for the truth," Mello mutters. "I swear to god."

Near chimes in, softly placing another domino: "Just ask if she came, make honesty feel safe. Revolutionary idea, I know."

Light hums. "Actually, I agree. Consent culture includes post-sex check-ins."

"I want a refund on every sexual encounter I’ve ever had," Matsuda says quietly.

"Honestly?" you grin. "Probably fair."

L sips his tea again. "In summary: no, men cannot reliably detect a faked orgasm unless their partner is spectacularly bad at lying or has a seizure mid-coitus."

L begins typing furiously. "I am now creating a shared spreadsheet titled 'Task Force Climax Self-Awareness Survey.' There will be anonymous entries, follow-up questions, and an optional open mic feedback box."

"NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT," Mello snaps.

"Already received two entries," L says, eyes flicking up. "Thank you, Matt."

"You’re welcome," Matt grins. "Typed 'pretty sure she finished once.'"

"I wrote a poem," Near says. "It’s called 'Echo in the Thrust Chamber.'"

You stand up dramatically. "In conclusion: you don’t know shit. But the good news is, you can learn. A woman body is not a Rubik’s cube. It’s not about solving it fast. It’s about turning it with intention."

There is a beat of stunned, reverent silence.

Then Light mutters: "...‘Turning it with intention’... That’s going in the spreadsheet."

And L nods solemnly. "Quoted. Highlighted. Immortalized."

Consequences:

Three of the task force members never looked each other in the eye again.

Mello threw his back out trying to prove something later that week.

Matt got a thank-you text from an ex.

Near’s poem was published online and banned in seven countries.

L laminated the spreadsheet Light from that day onward started asking, listening and ruining lives.

[ladyzayismultifandom]

The Kiss of Death

L Lawliet x Fem!Reader Genre: awkard cute fluff with everyone's favorite detective

Description: On the ongoing mission to take Kira down, L and Y/N must sacrifice their dignity when Light (intentionally) messes up their excursion. A/N: This is pre-cuffed L and Light era btw! And f/n = fake name.

Kira is still on the loose taking innocent people lives and with no concrete evidence to the existence of the “Death Note” or “Shinigami’s” Lawliet was put into a corner. He was 98% sure that Light Yagami was Kira purely based on vibes but nothing else that serves as evidence has worked. Close surveillance in his house has been a little useful but he hasn’t cracked him just yet. Light was good. Too good.

After ruthless nights of arguing Watari thought it would be a good idea to call in reinforcements from the infamous Wammy House where L was raised. Those reinforcements were you. You’ve never been to Japan before but you were excited to help an old friend. With an IQ of 150 and cunning eye for detail you would be a great asset to the task force. Once he find out you were on your way L sent you a file with all the information he found along with a detailed list of all the task force members. You got everything you need to know but you hate that fake name he came up with.

When you got off the private jet Watari sent you, Matsuda and Light were waiting for you at the end of the stairs.

“So he sent the killer right to me. Interesting” You thought. You took a good look of Matsuda. He was a good man, socially awkward, probably a bit annoying, but a good cop. He fidgeted with his fingers the more you looked at him. Meanwhile Light didn’t seem bothered at all. He stared right back but not at you. It was like he was staring deep within your soul and if you weren’t paying attention you would have missed the tiny smile fighting to break out. He was definitely up to something but what?

Taking off your sunglasses you walked down the stairs and offered your hand out to Matsuda who held it like a fragile piece of of fine china. He raised it up and kissed it which wasn’t something you were expecting but flattered either way.

“Enchante, I’m f/n” You offered your hand to Light as well to which he firmly shook for a second and let go. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they greet you. Matsuda was ever the gentlemen who might be confused of your customs but has good intentions. Light shook your hand like a man trying to prove himself. He wanted you to think he saw you as an equal when that couldn't be farther than the dark truth that lie beneath. This case is going to be good.

“I’d like to speak to Ryuzaki alone if that’s okay. “ You asked the task force after meeting everyone officially. Watari escorted them all out leaving you and your sugar fiend friend alone. For a moment you sat in silence until it felt safe to speak.

“Lawliet”

“It’s Ryuzaki”

“I’m not calling you that.”

“Then you put me at risk f/n.” You roll your eyes at the way he refuses to use your real name. You were alone after all.

“How could I put you at risk when we both know that Kira is Light?” You put your cup of tea up to him and he puts three sugar cubes in there. At the Wammy House, every child had their thing and yours is tea which goes perfectly with cake hence the beautiful friendship you have with Lawliet now.

“So you believe me?”

“Have I ever been wrong?”

“Well-

“Other than that.” You took a sip.

“I know it’s him. I need evidence. That’s why you’re here f/n”

“Does anybody other than Watari and I know you’re real name?” He shook his head no. Perfect. A plan was brewing.

Weeks go by and you get to know everyone. Sadly the result was still the same. Light was definetly Kira but he had help. Originally you thought his father was in on it but after personally interrogating him it became clear that Soichiro Yagami did not know or even consider that his son could be a criminal nonetheless a cold blooded killer. Lights girlfriend Misa Amane on the other hand only pretended to be a bimbo everyone thought she was. If she wasn’t so head over heels over Light she might have been a great force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, the charismatic cult-like charms of Light got to her before then. She's the perfect fall person if things went south for him. There’s was another accomplice helping Light get away with his crimes but his identify has been tough to crack. You’ve searched for people under the name Ryuk and haven’t found anything so far. Looking back at the early surveillance tapes of Light in his room it did look like he was trying hard to ignore something on his mind. Could it have been someone there? Someone the camera didn’t catch? Is this the power of a shinigami?

Another day with the task force trying to find all the things in common with Kira's victims besides how they die you turn to genius next to you.

“Ryuzaki?”

“Yes f/n”

“Let’s go out” Matsuda almost choked on his spit making you burst into a laughing fit. Lawliet was not amused.

“I assume you mean all of us?” He says not even sparing you a glance as you teasingly look at him.

“Of course. What else would I mean? A day off would be nice right boys?” You look at the rest of the men who are relieved to hear that except Light. Just like Lawliet, he didn't look too amused. You smirk as you take a sip of tea.

“You did that on purpose” Lawliet mumbled

“You love it.” You whispered before turning around in your spinny wheelchair. Stretching your arms before you do a big clap that makes the whole task force except Light and Lawliet jump. You smile.

"So who wants to go on a little excursion tomorrow? I'm sure Kira wouldn't mind if we didn't hunt them for a day. "

"Until they kill someone else." Light claims

"And then I'll know it's you," Lawliet says. The two stare menacingly at each other.

"Let's not point any fingers. Light is still not 100% in the clear yet but he's also a part of the team. It could be Matsuda for all we know" Your innocent joke lightened the mood making all the men chuckle to themselves. Little did they know they were all pawns in your game.

"Yes... matter of fact Light why don't you set up an excursion for us? I'm sure you have friends that travel locally and if you're not Kira nothing will go wrong and Ryuzaki can relax. Right?" You suggest.

"And if you are I'll have the pleasure of putting you behind bars."

"Fine. If that's what it takes." Light says. The familiar tugging at his lips starts but they never go into full bloom as if he's trying to hide it. Tomorrow you're finally going to find out what his game is and who he's playing it with.

Later that night when you were alone drinking tea while Lawliet ate cake the two of you discussed all the possible mistakes Light could make to prove he's Kira to everyone. Killing someone would be too obvious but he could make it look like an accident or even frame another person on the task force so that was possibility number one. Possibility number two is he finds a way to get Misa alone to do his bidding. That would be the easiest thing to do to get him out of the clear for everyone else but not the two of you since you know she's his accomplice. To prevent that from happening, you'll have Matsuda or Soichiro keep a close eye on her the entire excursion. There was another possibility that you didn't bring up on purpose. This was because if Lawliet knew he would be totally against it seeing as it would put him at risk but you realized the unusual pattern of all Kira's victims a long time ago. They all die of a heart attack, most have some kind a criminal record of some kind or they know Kira true identity before they die. Most importantly Kira's victims full name are always on public record except the one he wants to kill the most which sparked an idea. What if you gave Light L's real name? Would he try to use it? Most importantly would it work? Along with Mello and Near you were raised with Lawliet but there is the possibility that even the name you became fond of calling him wasn’t real. Deep inside you know he wouldn’t lie to you. He can’t.

The next day Light had arranged a day in Kamakura full of fun outside excursions everyone on the task force except Lawliet appreciated. To annoy him even more the disguise you chose to display was his wife. You knew if this plan was gonna work he couldn’t look like Lights stalker the way he focuses in on him and you two work better as a team so splitting up wasn’t an option. In case Light isn’t Kira (which is highly unlikely) and Kira manages to strike while you’re out Watari is at home monitoring local crime. Keeping a close eye on Light’s reactions you wrap your arm around Lawliet giving him a supportive pat. Light face remain stoic.

“See? Kira wouldn’t kill us in the middle of a crowded area like this. “ Matsuda happily claims as he holds up his oversized binoculars to look at The Great Buddha.

“In a crowd like this no one would notice anyway.” Lawliet mumbles.

“Oh don’t be such a hermit! You loved playing outside with me when we were children.” You say trying to gauge the boys but to your surprise the only one who asked was-

“Ryuzaki and f/n grew up together?!” Misa acts surprised. Oh to peak into her little mind.

“I was studying human interaction”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night dear” You kiss his cheek before dragging him by hand along and joining Matsuda ahead as he excitedly leads the pack.

“Is it me or is f/n enjoying her role a little too much?” Kanzo whispers to Soichiro who shrugs.

“We’ve been working hard the past few weeks. I’m sure she’s just having a little fun besides I don’t think it’s exactly one-sided.” Soichiro chuckles

Throughout the day the seven of you walk around every shrine, zen garden, and temple you can get close to while remaining a safe distance from Light and Misa who didn’t seem to be plotting anything just yet. Just two teenagers who might be serial killers without a care in the world. Lawliet grew frustrated.

“F/N”

“Yes, dear?” You tease but can’t help it when his cheeks turn a rosy red for a second.

“When exactly is this plan of yours supposed to start?”

“Patience honey all will make sense soon” You whisper seductively in Lawliets ear pulling him in to your embrace wrapping your arms around his neck. Begrudgingly knowing his role Lawliet wraps his arms around your waist in reciprocation. You notice Light staring at the two of you. From where he’s standing it looks as if you two are sharing secrets. He tries to hide his look of suspicion when you make eye contact but it’s too late. Like a spider you’ve spun him in your web making him helplessly anxious and maybe even frightened. Unable to contain it you smirk at him

“That’s right. You should be afraid” You whisper still in Lawliet’s embrace. For the first time all day he chuckles.

“If I didn’t know any better you’re turned on right now y/n” He whispers in your ear just as seductively as you did earlier. Given how awkward and standoffish he can be at times you didn’t know he was capable of that.

“Lawli- Ryuzaki!” You shriek but for a moment his hands squeeze your body. You almost said his real name out loud. Too loud. Did Light hear it? Shit

“Careful dear people will think you’re cheating on me” He says jokingly but you know it’s a threat. No, a promise. While you planned to leak it anyway to see if Light would try to kill him this is not how you wanted to come out. Shit shit shit.

And yet if you weren’t turned on before. You are now. Something about him matching your energy while being so close just did something to you and even though he’s a little pissed off he’s still hot.

“I’m gonna get you back for that”

“Likewise f/n” further emphasizing how pissed he is.

After walking for the majority of Lights excursion filled day in Kamakura the task force grew exhausted. Too tired to do anything else Light and Matsuda called around for places to retire for the night before returning to work tomorrow. Soichiro drove the rental to a spot near a beach, real low key vibes, perfect place for a late night swim with Lawliet. He’d never go for it. The seven of you were to be split rooms. Naturally you and Misa were in one room. Soichiro, Kanzo, Matsuda, and Light in the next room. Lawliet gets his own room so he can have a private discussion with Watari. This was the plan everyone agreed to until you got there.

“I’m sorry we only have one room left but if you five gentlemen don’t mind the hotel a little further down I can reserve a room for you” the hotel receptionist says. Looks like you and Misa are stuck here alone-

“I’ll stay with you” Lawliet stepped up.

“But who will watch Ligh-“ He cut you off

“I said I’m staying”

“Besides I think we can trust Light now,“ Shock was what you saw on Light's face now. If only for a moment but there was shock. Whatever plan there was to kill Lawliet might be dead now but then again this could've been a part of his plan all along.

When the two of you walked into the hotel there was one bed. As children sleeping together was better than being in cold bunks but as adults this predicament was a bit...awkward.

He let you shower and change into your pajamas first but as you wait in bed going over all your notes on Kira a nervous feeling stirs inside you. What if he mentions what happened earlier? What if he doesn't because he has other plans of ruining your life for almost ending his? Is he about to get in this bed with you?

"I hope you're not overthinking what happened earlier." He broke you out of your funk. You didn't even realize he had already gotten out of the shower. "I already gave Light my real name once. It won't work Y/N"

"Then why-"

"I figured if you were going to put my life in danger I'd scare you a little too. Reminds me of when we were kids." He laid down next to you in bed. For years there's been an invisible line between you that you so desperately wanted to cross.

A line you want to cross now more than anything.

"Can I ask you something?" You turn your body towards him but he remains on his back, facing the ceiling.

"Shoot"

"Do you remember when we were teenagers Mello locked us in a closet and I kissed you on accident but you wouldn't let me go until Watari let us out?"

"Yes"

"This feels a lot like that" He smiles as his body curls towards you.

"Are you saying you want to kiss me Y/N?" You scooted closer to him smirking.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" You leaned over him practically inches away from his lips yet he didn't flinch. He didn't move away but he didn't move any closer. He was just there. So you sighed and leaned ba-

"Please" He grabbed you by the shirt and pulled you back to him. He had a look in his eyes you've never seen before.

" In case I die"

"Wha-" He met your lips with his before you could ruin it. The two of you were alone. Truly alone for the first time in years and this time if it were his last Lawliet was going to get what he wanted almost as bad as he wanted Light behind bars. You.

You leaned down into his embrace not letting a breath escape between your lips. If you were going to die tonight it would not be Kira and you were okay with that.

The next day on the ride home neither of you spoke a peep making it seem like you'd gotten into a fight. Nobody really needed to know what really took place. When everyone went home for the day you were at it again neglecting the surveillance cameras and carefully watching Light. If this is how he gets you both so be it.

May the kiss of death satisfy the Gods that be.

A/N: HAPPY FLUFFTOBER!!!

[jonquilyst]

Day 11 - Socialization Day

Welcome to another socialization day, where this time it was Ziggy's (OD) turn to set the kitchen ablaze and rudely awaken the entire plane!

Thankfully, Ziggy was able to put the fire out himself and he enjoyed breakfast a charred mess. At least Raylan (OD) was there to cheer him up with some funny videos after Ziggy cleaned himself up!

With Marilyn (OD) and Carson (IN) now in new teams, today is their chance to attempt to integrate with their new teammates. Marilyn started out by telling Minato (OD) a dramatic story, then laughed as Minato and Touma (OD) monkeyed around. I think she enjoys their dynamic! (I do too)

Meanwhile, Carson decided to try his luck with Avery (IN), who was hanging out in the mess hall like he was! Carson is not allowed in first class with the rest of the team, as he did not contribute to Team Integrity's win, so Team Integrity will also need to make an effort to interact with Carson outside of first class if they want to take advantage of having a new team member!

Raylan also made strides with his teammates by sharing funny videos with Minato and Nite (OD) too!

For those of you who want Matteo (IN) and Carson to be friends, good news! Matteo approached him this afternoon and like Raylan, showed him a funny video 😋

Alanna (IN) spent most of her day with Estrello (IN) and the PC in first class, but she too made an effort to interact with Carson today!

This evening, Marilyn decided to spend her dinnertime with Touma, but in the end... our beret club just can't help but interact with each other. They miss each other dearly and decided to share each other the funny videos each of their teams showed to them today.

So far, these two were successful with interacting with their new teammates, but with merge still a ways away, the real question is whether or not these two will be able to survive in their teams long enough to be reunited in the merge. We will see!

Today's Confessional: Minato Matsuda

"I think it's awesome that we have a new team member! It just means a new person to hang out with, and I for one enjoyed hanging out with Marilyn today. I've seen how she's gotten around in Team Success, may it rest in peace, so I know she's gonna want to make friends too! She really has a way with swaying a crowd and making friends fast, and she's been pretty good at challenges, so I wanna try to be her friend so that our team can keep winning challenges!"

@ethicaltreatmentofcowplants @nakasumi-sims @paracosmic-sims @ravingsockmonkey @lyratea

@bloomingkyras @aliengirl @changingplumbob @hellogreta @kissalopa

@matchalovertrait @invisiblequeen

[my-great-big-book-of-fan-fiction]

sunshine reader x L oneshot

NOT THE SMUT...but that's coming soon.

Yalllll this L smut is taking me wayyyy too long to finish, I've been hit with inspiration in the WRONG department (katsuki series), and now that's all I can think about. Until I'm able to crank out the actual L smut, have this little oneshot about joining the kira task force!

"I'm here," you announce cheerily, bursting in through the door with a big smile and a briefcase in your hands.

"Uh, sorry, who are you," Mogi asks, stopping you at the door. He had a stern look on his face, like he thought you were tresspassing.

"She is a consultant on this case," L says calmly, not turning from his place before his computer, his thumb pressed to his lips in thought, his knees to his chest.

"everyone, this is (Y/n). Make yourselves acquainted."

"A consultant?" "What do you need consulting on?" "I thought you said you didn't need anymore detectives."

L sighed, a frown appearing on his lips as he glanced back toward where the group would be. "I thought I told you to acquaint yourselves," he said tiredly. What a lovely first day.

over the next week, they did in fact acquaint themselves. You got to know everyone, especially because you lived in HQ. There was Misa, Aizawa, Chief Yagami, Matsuda, Mogi, and, of course...Light Yagami. You knew him well. Through L's retellings, anyway. Why did he tell you? Because you were dating. Plain and simple.

L hadn't told anyone on the team, for good reason...at least, it was probably good reason. Either that, or he didn't tell because no one asked. He was like that, only speaking as he pleased. It amused you, it was something that drew you to him.

Even so, they noticed when he gave you special treatment. Once, during a presumed all-nighter for the detectives, you stood from your seat next to L, Stretching and yawning.

"I'm going to head to bed." It was only 10, far earlier than any of the others dared ask to go, not wanting to seem like slackers. L looked up at you questioningly, tilting his head. "You never go to bed this early."

You shrug. "I'm tired, and if I'm too tired tomorrow, I won't be able to work as efficiently."

L sighed, looking back to his computer. "I won't stop you," he said indifferently.

You smile and thank him, standing and making your way to bed. Everyone else was flabbergasted. Matsuda stood from his desk, leaning on it with his hands as he stared at the back of L's head. "Why does she get to leave early? If any of us asked to go at a time like this, No way you'd let us!"

"Have you asked," L responded, gently spinning his chair around to face him.

"well I-...no..."

L gave him an expectant look, scratching the top of his foot with his toes.

"...can I go to bed?" everyone was watching with intrigue. Was that really all it took???

"...no."

Matsuda looked shocked. Everyone else simply went back to work, the already dingy mood dampened even further.

"It's cause she's pretty, isn't it?"

L looked up in thought, his thumb rubbing at his lips.

"Mmnnn....I suppose it is," he mused.

All matsuda could do was sit down in disbelief. "can you believe this," he asked Aizawa in a whisper. "Of course I can. That's L for you."

As another piece of evidence, he simply likes you more. He lets you talk and talk all day long about anything on your mind, when you go on food runs he actually asks you for things (He never asks the other detectives, no matter where they're going), and he shares any of his treats with you.

"I recall you saying you enjoy strawberry flavoring. Is that still accurate?" he's already cut you a sizable slice of strawberry cake, so your answer doesn't matter.

"have you ever had carambola? It's not very remarkable on it's own." Because of him, your first and only experiences with the fruit are in tanghulu form.

Anything he eats, you at minimum try.

Lastly, and most importantly, he shamelessly stares at your body. It is unbearably obvious that you distract him sometimes, when you're talking like nothing and he's watching the subtle movement of your tits, caused by your excessive gesticulations, his thumb tracing his lower lip in thought as he analyzes the exact weight they must have to move in such a way. Many of the others assume L is simply a creep, a creepy weirdo staring at the new pretty woman in HQ.

Light knows better. He knows, he can see it, there is more. It's not just lust, L is better than that, more complex. Either this is some way to trick Light, or he's doing this to benefit himself and this case in some way. There is more, and he will find out what it is.

Of course, you know better than all of them. There is more, the more is that you are together, and beyond that, there is nothing. He just finds your chest rather captivating. You can't blame him. The end.

Long story short, everyone knows he has a bias towards you, for one reason or another, and he doesn't do much to hide it. There were so many theories spread between them, and as a surprise to no one, it was filtered through misa. She knew best about this social stuff, after all.

"Do you see the way she smiles at him? They have to be dating," Matsuda whispers.

"What? No way, Girls smile at guys for more reasons than being with them," Misa scoffs.

"What if this is a test? Maybe he's testing us," Mogi puts forward.

"On what," Misa asks incredulously.

"I don't know, I'm not the genius...What do you think, Light? You're the closest to him."

"Me...? I don't know, why don't you just ask him."

ask him? To his face? No.

"Fine," Misa nods, standing from the mini huddle. Everyone watched with disbelief as she faced the two of you, working side-by-side before the CCTV footage. She pointed an accusatory finger at the two of you, her voice and expression full of pride, like she cracked some code. "Are you two dating?!"

You look at L. He doesn't look at you.

"Yes," he responds calmly.

"What? Why would you bring her here then? Don't you think Light is kira? Aren't you putting her in danger," Aizawa asks.

"You 6 are the only ones that know...excluding Watari. If She dies, please assume Light Yagami is the culprit."

Silence.

"Now, return to work," he orders, strain and annoyance in his voice from the situation. "I truly hate gossip," he grumbled to you.

taglist: @cheekyweekymouse

[corviiids]

I found your recent post refreshing to say L does have a capacity to care for/be mindful of people vs Outright Rude Asshole since I've always thought the former was more interesting, so my interpretation on one aspect got too long here:

https://www.tumblr.com/tunesykari/772615346912968704/on-the-scenes-where-ukita-gets-killed-by-misa-on?source=share

ANYWAYS my question was: what is your interpretation on L's mindset in relation to Ukita's death scene and/or when pissed off Aizawa quits the task force? Or, really, where is the line for you to interpret when L Actually Cares For Someone vs He Definitely Doesn't, and the difference of how he acts on it, especially where it overlaps with people's social expectations of him? Hopefully that made sense lmao

thank you, and thanks for sharing your thoughts! under the cut. you'd think I'd run out of things to say about L Lawliet but no apparently I can just go on forever

my view is that L always cares about people and about preserving human life, but he ironically cares about it in the same way that light does: in the abstract, as an overarching value, but never as a first priority. L wants to save lives because it is the right thing to do. i acknowledge that secondarily, allowing people to die, in the game he's playing with Kira, counts as a "loss" to him. that's definitely a factor. however i do genuinely believe the preservation of life is important to L for its own sake. it's just that it's not the be all and end all. it's a value he holds, but it's one he can compromise.

how do i put this. it's the trolley problem, right? L is playing the trolley problem. (so is light.) the key thing is that the scale has been blown up. it's not "allow one person to be hit by a trolley so five people aren't". it's "someone is out there killing a hundred people every five minutes, and if you hit this one person with a trolley, it gets you five minutes closer to finding the killer, so that's a hundred people who don't have to die." it's very utilitarian. it makes sense. but say your number one value as a person is to prevent deaths. any number of deaths is unacceptable. intolerable. the trolley problem would pose a completely unwinnable situation for you, because you wouldn't be able to conceive of killing one to save five as a more moral or acceptable choice. both outcomes would be unacceptable. in a more abstract scenario such as the one above, even more unacceptable. but not to L. (and not to kira.) this is basically exactly the conversation that happens during the yotsuba investigation. soichiro and memory-loss light want to arrest the yotsuba group immediately, because they're about to kill a number of people, and light and soichiro want to save those people. L wants to wait, because they might save those people, but they won't catch kira. as long as kira is at large, more people will die. so the number of lives saved increases, in the abstract, if they allow this small number of people to be killed. you see how in a twisted way this all comes back to the same core value of "wanting to save lives"? it basically turns on WHY you want to save lives. soichiro wants to save lives because life is sacred, but for L, it's a numbers game. it's about quantity. it's utilitarian.

in terms of the ukita question specifically, i think the answer is just that L is human just like anyone else. he doesn't want his associates to die. i think he cares about the task force, not fiercely or devotedly, but he does care. if the question is "when does L actually care for someone vs when does he not" i would say that if he cares for someone he always cares for them, but i would probably ask a different question, being "what does caring about someone look like for L?" and my answer to that would be that he wants them to live, he will take drastic measures to ensure they live (eg matsuda), but it's not the case that he would do absolutely anything to ensure that happens. if the choice was between their life and the whole world, he'd let them die if he had to. it would upset him, but he would. the thing with the ukita situation is that L prevents aizawa from going to the scene specifically because he knows that being at the scene will not do anything to further the cause or save any lives. if aizawa goes, he will die as needlessly as ukita does, so the obvious answer is not to let him go because there's no benefit. would the answer change if sending aizawa might save ukita? probably. would it change if it MIGHT save ukita but it MIGHT also be that they both die? less clear. could honestly go either way.

the aizawa quitting scene is a funnier one. one of the things that makes L such an interesting and unique character is that he lies directly to the narrative and to the reader repeatedly on so many occasions that often the actual truth just never comes out. normally liar characters will get some kind of debrief here and there where their lying comes up again, but L just lies a lot and then the story moves on. so it honestly is hard to know exactly what he meant by that scene. many different interpretations could be true. it could have been a test, as the text says it was. but i also like your interpretation (that it was an attempt to get aizawa to quit for the sake of his family), it's very plausible in my view! i also think he wasn't lying about liking aizawa, but i also think he never would have said it out loud if he hadn't been trying to get the last word haha.

finally, i think L just has a really strong ability to distance himself from his own feelings. not to deny them or repress them, but to compartmentalise really effectively and consider and evaluate them with as much weight as he needs to compared to other factors at place, like, he's very self-aware. he's aware that his behaviours are childish and competitive at times. he even states flatly that in a situation where his life is at risk, he will lose some of his objectivity. that was a great one for me, because i think it's the most rational approach to acknowledging emotions. fake intellectuals who campaign for "ohhhh logic only no emotions!!!!!!" are idiots - you'll never do away with your emotions, they will always affect you, and so the logical thing to do is actually to just acknowledge them and factor them in, including the somewhat paradoxical fact that at times you won't be able to factor them in. that's what L's doing. L never denies that he has emotions and he doesn't try to hide them beyond protecting himself. he knows that he's afraid to die and that it might affect his judgement, so he distances himself enough to acknowledge that fact, factors it in as best he can, accepts it, and moves on. so when i say he's distant from his emotions, i don't mean it in a way that suggests L's relationship with his emotions is unhealthy. i actually think it's pretty functional. he's quite in touch with himself. my point is that L could care about someone very much and still prevent his care for that person from changing what he does.

anyway, i think the answer is that L is someone who does care about people, but for whom caring about people is barely a factor in terms of deciding his behaviour. he's not uncaring, he's just ruthless. if it's possible to save everyone, he will. if he's not, he'll save as many as possible even if it means sacrificing a few himself, because it's a numbers game. if he can save the people closest to him, he will. he wants to. but he doesn't have that many people close to him, so it doesn't come up much, anyway.

[mercillery]

I know almost NO ONE in the OP fandom cares about Akainu or the marines at that, but gosh, I’ve been so hyper-fixated on the admirals for way too long I HAVE to talk about them. I know absolutely no one who loves these justice freaks as much as I do, and I’m going to die in 5 seconds and make it the world’s problem if I don’t speak up about my love for them.

This post is going to talk about Akainu because currently he’s my number one. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but for now I mostly just want to rant about him and the actor he was based off of—call it fun facts about Akainu or whatever. Frankly, I could see why so many people hate him—for killing a beloved character, right? I think that’s why almost everyone just utterly dislikes him, and that’s completely understandable. But I wish more people could talk about him because he’s a really interesting character to me. 

Warning there is no grammar in this because I’m currently writing this on a whim.

The actor Akainu is based on is Bunta Sugawara—which probably most people aren’t familiar with. The only reason I even found out about his existence was because of this.

And Oda was right to say that those still in school likely don’t know who the hell these actors are—because they were from a long time ago. Well, kind of. Not really—I don’t know. Yusaku Matsuda was born on September 21st 1949–Kunie Tanaka on November 23rd 1932—and Bunga Sugawara on August 16th 1933–what I’m trying to say here is that they were all somewhat born in close range years—if that make sense.

And yes, Bunta actually voiced Kamari from Spirited Away—there’s actually a video on YouTube showing Bunta doing his voice lines with Hayao Miyazaki and a few other people sitting in the back as Bunta does his thing. I unfortunately can’t find that video anymore but it was cute because when Bunta does a lot of hand gestures while reading his lines—it was amusing to watch.

Did you also know that Akainu’s real name, Sakazuki, is actually the name of a film Bunta played in? I have yet to watch the movie, but it’s about a young yakuza soldier (that soldier being Bunta) torn between staying in his current life or leaving his family when his boss refuses to follow their ancient code of ethics. I can say, though, that I have watched like two or three movies that Bunta played in (in fact I’m currently watching The Viper Brothers!!!). I’ve also watched a bunch of other trailers of films he plays in—and you know what I notice every single time?

Bunta always plays this short-tempered, stern, and violent character. Like, I mean ALWAYS. And you know what else? He’s always starring in Yakuza films—like almost all his movies have something to do with the Yakuza—which is ironic considering Oda made Akainu very dogmatic about justice, and obviously anything yakuza-related is far from justice. When you compare the characters Bunta plays as and Akainu, you can literally see how perfectly Oda blended the two. Like most of the characters Bunta plays, Akainu is also firm, stern, stoic, serious, dogmatic, short-tempered, and aggressive. The only drastic difference is how Akainu is all about justice—while the characters Bunta plays mostly have to do with just getting to power and the usual yakuza stuff, you know? If you look up Bunta Sugawara, you’ll get a bunch of trailers of all the different films he plays in, and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

Did you ALSO know that Bunta was aware that Akainu was based off of him? I’m not even joking. I did the biggest 😮 of my life when I found out.

When Bunta retired, he became a farmer. His farm sold chilli pepper and the brand logo for that was literally THIS:

Oda himself drew his hot pepper brand logo—no joke. It’s amazing because now I can’t stop thinking about another universe where One Piece just takes place in a modern AU and Sakazuki is just a guy selling chili pepper. Oda said the order to draw the chili pepper logo was actually made by Bunta’s wife. And if I’m not wrong, I believe Bunta even commented as a joke that he’ll use the logo as long as One Piece is popular. It’s even better when you realize it’s confirmed that Akainu’s favorite goods are white rice and HOT PEPPER.

Ugh, just imagine Akainu selling chili pepper instead of being such a single-minded justice freak of a man…

Anyway, thank you for coming to my ted talk. If you sent in a request, I’m working on it—TRUST. 😋

[kiyomitakada]

L for the ask game

YAY i was hoping someone would ask me this for him ive been slowly going insane about this guy for a month now

favorite thing about them: varies by day but today his drastic mood swings captivate me.

[monotone] i was just sulking earlier

least favorite thing about them: i do not have one. i love when he cares so much he starts shaking when he tells aizawa not to go after ukita's dead body and i love when he cares so little that he suggests letting matsuda die to confirm that yotsuba is kira and i love when he is the worst person alive and the greatest detective alive also. walking contradiction of a moral code. i hate him. my actual least favorite thing about him is that i didn't get to kill him before light did

favorite line:

manga: "because the good guys always win :)" his smile here always kills me. it was the exact moment i was like ohhhh he's a LIAR

anime: "it'll be lonely, won't it"

musical: from the japanese version of the way things are: いいだろう死神認めよう　だが神が命を裁かない　生きるか死ぬかに意���を持たすのは人間だ. which going half by this translation is "fine then, i'll accept gods of death / but it's not god who judges your life / humans are the ones who give meaning to whether you live or die" i can't explain why i like this one so much. i just do. it is honestly more of a near sentiment than an L sentiment but something about the way he has to do an entire song to accept that shinigami are real delights me

brOTP: i already said L & misa in her post so i will provide another one. L & soichiro are fascinating to me. i like the bit where L suggests putting cameras in his house and soichiro responds with "if you're going to do it you'd better cover the whole house" i think the tension there is so interesting. soichiro has to live with the fact that L suspects light no matter what and yet keeps giving L the benefit of the doubt and even argues to aizawa that L Probably Isn't Financially Pressuring You, I'm Sure There's A Good Reason! and L has to live with the fact that he's made the father he's never had shoot his son in the head. which i don't think L feels bad for necessarily but the mechanics of that decision keep circling in my head like. why not get someone else? isn't light's dad objectively the least believable choice for mock execution purposes? why him, specifically? what buried violence does L see in that man that makes him think he is capable (and he's right!)

also L keeps using him as his moral compass which is hilarious

OTP: do i really have to say this

lawlight is actually so much harder to ship when you're manga-based sometimes i get jealous of how blatant the yaoi is in the anime. however i think the act of showing your face to the outside world for the first time for the sake of making your prime suspect possibly (not even definitely) slip up for once and inviting him to mind meld tennis while thinking about how perfect he is is definitely homosexual

…actually while i'm on this why not just lay out my manifesto right here. okay. i think a lot of people focus on light->L but take L->light for granted because of things like the foot scene which is [banging head on table] NOT IN THE MANGA BECAUSE THE WRITERS HATE ME but it's a fun challenge trying to reconstruct what L thinks of light anyway

this is subject to change but right now i think the appeal to L is that like. he's L. he's an anonymous letter. he lives in a padded empty room and/or everchanging hotel rooms. he almost always solves cases remotely. he doesn't trust people even when he says he does. and then here comes along a serial killer and for the first time in ages L is forced to actually talk to other people and physically inhabit the world and he keeps thinking about going back into seclusion but he keeps choosing to stay because he wants to observe light in person. light is his anchor to the world. a murderer is his anchor to humanity. and for some reason L is obsessed with him.

i think this kind of scares him, though not in a way that a normal person would recognize as fear. he's L. his entire life has been balancing human life as a numerical value and to do so he has to recognize when he has biases. he says out loud that he might just be going after light because he has no other suspects. he has to Understand Himself in order to understand the world around him, he has to know exactly how he is compromised

and for the first time he doesn't.

anyway this is why i think "i wanted you to be kira" was basically a confessi[i am dragged off stage]

nOTP: law/tsuda isn't exactly a notp because i can see the vision but the vast majority of content for them is fluff when what i really want is toxic sludge

random headcanon: he is transfem any-pronouns to meeee to meeeeee. the white shirt + jeans combination is due to the autism but also due to the gender dysphoria (the shirt is noted to be loose in movie side-material canon). he has not yet realized it is dysphoria. possibly he doesn't even realize it's autism i think watari just clocked him as having Unique L Condition and gave him everything he wanted accordingly

unpopular opinion: i'm going to just copy-paste a draft for this one

in my head L is 25 because that's the htr age and it makes sense considering how well established he is with interpol etc. in my heart L is 21 because i think that lets his personality and the dynamics he has with everyone else make vastly more sense and also it is the reasonable age for the teaching assistant you have a parasocial crush on to be. in my soul L is 19, lies about his age all the time, and never makes it to 20 #in my soul-of-souls he's one day older than light and internally holds this over light's head constantly #he says things like ''when i was 17…'' (<- is still 17) #but also L being 21 means you can make blackjack references and that is important to me #the house always wins or whatever

song i associate with them: man of stone is literally him to a T

I had to give it to you I was always acting cuckoo Thinking there was something That I'd actually be kinda scared-a But I will be a man of stone

favorite picture of them: picking one is absolutely impossible so i'll take this as "one of your favorites"

i like when he looks like a cryptid

[ai-the-broccoli]

I DIDN'T NOTICE YOU RB'D THE DEATH NOTE ASK MEME uhhh. 23 and 24 maybe?

ooooh thanks!!!

23. what was your favorite moment and why?

"oooh that's a very hard question" ...is what I might've said, if this wasn't the light yagami animanga series and light yagami makes me insane. uhhh. I do have several though, if that's allowed.

(update: when I said "several" I meant uh. a lot apparently. whoops)

favourite line / favourite moment in a "holy wow this is amazing thematically": the. y'know. "Tell me, Light, from the moment you were born, have you ever told the truth?" line in the anime rain scene. yeah. holy fuck that is amazing because I LOVE that sort of thing. as far as character traits go, there's like nothing I love more than characters that are liars who lie lyingly (multiple types of this apply). it's truly, truly the best.

favourite moments based on what I repeatedly rewatched immediately following my first watch of the anime: there are, uh. three (in no particular order)

light goes home from the entrance ceremony, incredibly stone-faced (like 😐) the entire way -> gets home, gets up the stairs, opens the door, shuts the door, sits down on his chair, suddenly starts shaking -> blows up "Dammit! He got me! Damn L! I have never been so humiliated in my life!" (even Ryuk comments internally that he's never seen him lose his composure so much) -> suddenly laughs and calms down talking about how it's a battle of wits now and he'll make L trust him and kill him, with his own hands if necessary. i rewatched this several times in a row which was definitely very normal of me.

look at him. grumpy but in like an extremely restrained way (his face is even hidden). until it breaks completely in the next page lol

the last episode. light trying so hard not to laugh/smirk in the warehouse, then he reveals himself as kira (a lot of laughing), and he loses and falls pathetically, shouting for kiyomi and mikami and misa after matsuda shoots him, and then runs in the beautiful sunset, passing his younger high school self by, and seeing a vision of L before he dies on the stairs. all this is great and i did an immediate rewatch of this episode after finishing it

the Relight scene where Light laughs on top of L's grave soil. it's conceptually fucked up in an amazing way that really really appeals to me. murder and grave desecration are really romantic/beautiful/erotic on principle.

as you can see I am very normal. as you can see I am a very normal Light Yagami fan. one of those two statements may be unironically true, but the two statements inherently cannot go together. anyway this particular selection of scenes totally doesn't actually say anything about me right but anyway I'm right those are totally the best please torture light some more everyone

favourite moments I didn't immediately repeatedly rewatch/reread like that but are still my absolute top favourites:

The entire first episode because DAMN did it hook me completely very, very fast. I did NOT know there was going to be Faustian contract + god complex&general big ego + everything else in one in this little and very infamous character known as "Light Yagami". my expectations were blown instantly and I got obsessed with DN right away

L and Light declaring war on each other over the live broadcast and L asking and taunting Light/Kira to kill him. amazing. it was really... gay. sorry I can't think of a better word lmfao

L's death scene oh my god. GOD I loved (and was really really amazed/impressed by by) Light rushing to him at once and basically lying on top of him for a second, so that he will die in his arms. GOD. it is SO. like yeah this is literally my favourite sort of thing holy shit it is amazing (it's to gloat to him and to declare victory before his death, and it's to pretend to the Task Force too, and yet it seemed like such an instinctual reaction really that I think his first instinct really IS to hold him in his arms before he dies. this is really good). and the dramatic performance afterwards. I love it

on a COMPLETELY different note. JESUS CHRIST I love Soichiro's death scene actually. because holy fuck the multi-layered irony. I really love it. actually I think I wrote about that scene long before I even really wrote anything else about DN. alright here:

idk if I still 100% agree with my initial impression but it should still overall hold and MAN. I definitely loved it (<- fan of irony) (<- extremely, extremely normal Light Yagami fan) (<- fan of Soichiro also, to a lesser extent)

favourite moment that gave me a lot of thoughts when I'm reading the manga: (even though I already first watched the anime and this stuff is also in the anime)

the moment where Rem is like "okay I will kill L" and Light, person who has been plotting this exact murder for ages, is like. Oh shit. he'll die...? which is. man. Light sure is Light

like look at his face here!

favourite manga-exclusive moments:

Light not considering killing Sayu. Light asking Soichiro to promise him to come back alive with Sayu. that scene afterwards where Soichiro is at home thinking he should die. (at least I think those weren't in the anime?)

the manga ending is also good

I like that the manga tells us he lost weight and has nightmares due to using the death note. (it possibly has happened to anime light too but we don't get to see it)

not a "favorite moment" exactly, but while the scene is beautiful I don't like Misa dying in the end despite how much I adore everything else in that episode, so I like that Misa doesn't canonically die like that in the manga

favourite anime-exclusive moments:

rain scene and footwashing scene yes obviously

everything about Light being "haunted" after L's death. aside from the aforementioned Light dying scene, I really like the anime

I love the anime ending too

also hmm this might be a less popular opinion, but personally I also love some of anime Light's characterization tidbits that differs from the manga (e.g. first episode). I would say it's because it's maybe very slightly more relatable for me but that probably sounds wack lmao so

favourite moments based on how comedic I find them: (not including ones I already included in other sections) DN is such an amazing comedy I'm not even kidding

the whole handcuffs thing oh my god. homophobic misa moment. I didn't think she'd actually call him gay, but there it was. also just fken. buddy. L??????? why and how and in what world was there an absolute need for this totally normal, totally appropriate, absolutely most safe and most ideal method of interrogating criminals. I was laughing because god. that's not even. yeah okay I'm happy with it but LMFAO YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. and Light just easily went along with it

the... the... first date scene. I was like oh my god c'MON you two. I didn't think something like this would be so like this in the actual canon manga. first date where Misa is being thirdwheeled while Light and L sit together chained together and then they focus all energy on talking to each other and then they get into a fist fight (date activity) all over the room. combined with the later dunking on matsuda. this is LITERALLY how a fucking sitcom goes at this point.

the anime's footwashing also. not the scene itself necessarily but just the fact that it fucking exists between lawlight and is. Like THAT????? lmfao like what the hell

ALSO the. fken. Matsuda fake death scene lmfao it was so wack in retrospect

live Ryuk reactions + "hey Light can we play Mario Golf? can we play Mario Golf Light? come on let's play a match of Mario Golf"

man I can't even include all of it here because Light Yagami is so entertaining to me in 85%+ of all the scenes she appears in in one way or another like his existence itself is peak entertainment to me. it's entertaining when Light is humiliated and it's entertaining when he's succeeding. and like I mean, he's the protagonist of the whole manga / show, and I mean I can't list every moment in the series can I. lmao

favourite moments that don't have light yagami in it: I'm sorry everyone else but I am especially obsessed with light. as you can see. however I love many other characters too

Kiyomisa dinner kiyomisa fighting !!!

(technically this includes light but) matsuda shooting light

misa being unexpectedly smart (compared to her wider reputation) (the higuchi car scene! and others) is also nice

idk if it makes sense but. the scene where Rem and Misa mention the way a Shinigami can die, and Misa admits to thinking about killing Rem like it's. just very Neat. I like the vibes here and Misa is very beautiful (related to the dialogue about love and killing. yeah)

also!! I love the meronia moments

and then I recently got myself into soichello so actually yeah. the soichiro mello scenes too. very good

24. any headcanons you want to share?

uhhhhhhhhhhh hmmm. man what's a headcanon I haven't properly shared on tumblr before, and also isn't like a take that is shared and often discussed by tons of people around here already?

... fine okay let's do this finally.

neurodivergence + mental illnesses headcanons

[disclaimer: please read this post first. if you disagree, you can skip over this and skip to the next section!]

aside from OCD and autism, imo Light has NPD with some ASPD traits, and also bipolar. this is because the way his mental illnesses are is like. I feel represented lol. (not as in I have every one of those things I listed, but I probably have some/most of them, and the combinations are interesting). even though this is unfortunately Light Yagami. but I really like him for that too tbh because man. I don't get to see that stuff often. (like idk how to explain it. even though I'd never even remotely pull that kinda stuff because of differences in personalities, values, background, abilities, and manifestation and degree of symptoms, etc. however some of his mannerisms sometimes feel right on point e.g. I feel like the way he is like sometimes gives me depression + hypomanic/manic vibes, in a way where I can see myself in him if it makes sense lmao)

on that note Misa 100% very BPD I agree. I wanna say on top of autism, L also seems to have some ASPD traits imo. Near is autistic but I think that goes without saying lol. Mello has like... C-PTSD and/or NPD. and then this probably not a very unexpected take, but Matsuda has ADHD or audhd vibes. OH and! Soichiro also very much has OCD and autism, imo.

other headcanons:

not a hot take, but Mello and Near are both nonbinary and/or genderqueer (and/or otherwise trans, if not applicable) to me (could be transmasc or transfem, not necessarily transneutral; I could see either or any direction among those, although I would say I lean toward seeing Near as transfem and/or nonbinary, and Mello as transmasc and/or genderqueer).

Light is demi, and has had a covert superiority complex about not feeling attraction unlike his peers (like. you can view him deciding to use porn mag reading to prove himself as a normal teenage boy as indicative of his subconscious? mental association of his more "normal" peers as, like.... unfortunate horny perverts. in a way. if that makes sense) I know how it feels because I was kinda like this in grade 6-8

man I definitely have other ideas too but I'm drawing a blank at the moment partly because it's late and I still haven't eaten lunch lmao. I will continue to post my thoughts and headcanons in the future, so tune in by clicking on the subscribe butto- *gets shot*

ask game

[funishment-time]

🔵 Kodaka BlueSky Q&As: Male DR Characters (Specific) Part 2

(See part one, most of 2024, here.)

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: Please be advised! Translations of all Japanese answers derive from a combination of Google Translate and my manager's three-quarters-remembered Japanese. We've tried our best to work out what he's saying, but there will be mistakes here and there. Do not take this as gospel!

To avoid spreading (too much) misinfo, where we're completely boggled about an answer, we've decided not to even make an attempt. We'll still list the post, but mark it accordingly.

➡️ AN IMPORTANT NOTE FROM KODAKA BEFORE READING:

First of all, the questions answered here are not official. Everything that is official is what is said within the work. In contrast, this is simply what Kodaka, the creator, thinks, and it is not the correct answer. Use this as a starting point to enjoy the depth of each character, or to say, "That's not right!" and enjoy it with your own interpretation. I think of this as a way of communicating with the characters who live in fiction. This is important, so please spread the word.

🦃 NOV 2024:

Q: Excuse me for asking a question. How smart is Soda-kun in his grade or class? If possible, I'd like to know his best and worst subjects.

A: He is good at math and physics, but is terrible at Japanese, history, and English.

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! What would Kazuichi Souda's punishment be like? I love the punishment elements in Danganronpa so I'm always looking forward to the answer T.T🙏🏻‎

A: A punishment that is done behind the scenes without anyone seeing it, not even the player can see it

/////

Q: How do you think Ouma-kun will react if you give him some pig's feet?

A: In return, a pig's head is secretly planted in your room.

/////

Q: Why is there no depiction of Matsuda working on Kamukura in anime 3?

A: Room for imagination

/////

Q: I wonder what it would be like if Komaeda were to be punished🧏🏻‍♀️✨

A: The player's game console and PC are destroyed.

/////

Q: How did Amami-kun perform academically at school? 

A: “I think my grades are very good.”

/////

Q: Did Kamukura predict what would happen to him in the end? 

A: “I made predictions and then moved on to something more unpredictable.”

/////

Q: Momota is treated as a pretty stupid character, but does passing the astronaut exam mean that he’s good at studying? I'd also like to know how his grades were at school.

A: Actually, good grades

🎄 DEC 2024:

Q: What are Hinata's parents like? Did he grow up in a normal family?

A: They are so normal that they don't even realize they are normal.

/////

Q: Is Korekiyo Shinguji based off Woo-Jin from Oldboy? In the art book for Danganronpa V3, I remember you wrote that Shinguji was inspired by a Korean film or other Korean media. And I remember the plot twist of Oldboy was the reveal that Woo-Jin had an incestuous attachment to his sister.

A: It's hard to explain in English, but it's based on a music band or culture that was popular in Japan in the 90's.

/////

Q: Sorry if this has already been mentioned...! Ki-Bo can't cry, so why does he sweat (and have a runny nose?)? I was curious as to what purpose this function was added, and why they couldn't add a crying function.

A: Windshield wipers.

/////

Q: Do you have good grades, Ouma-kun? If you're attending classes normally, do you sleep in or something?

A:" I'm sleeping but my grades are good."

/////

Q: Please tell us about Yasuke Matsuda's profile. :3

A: This will cause a fuss so I'm keeping it a secret

NOTE: That is to say, Matsuda's general bio/backstory. I wonder why Kodaka's dodging the question...or if he's just being playful?

/////

Q: Is Kuwata good at sports other than baseball? Or is he not so good at anything other than baseball?

A: “I don't know the rules.”

/////

Q: I have a question. Does Tanaka-kun's pets include fish?

A: It depends on the situation in the demon world at the time.

/////

Q: Who do you think would be a good boyfriend in Danganronpa? 😆

A: Wouldn’t it be Ki-Bo? It's worth the effort to keep updating his version.

[spiralhigh]

also, do you have any matsunashi specific headcanons?

matsunashiiii they make me crazy they make me insane. i’ve got a couple

matsuda finds it a little uncanny to look at otonashi sometimes. enoshima’s hair hasn’t been red since she first learned what bleach was. he feels a pang of jealousy every time someone else sees her because the natural red color of her eyes used to be something that only he got to see. now she’s walking around practically naked in front of everyone. it’s unsettling.

the insistence that otonashi bears a striking resemblance to his mother is a little overblown. sure, his mother was a redhead around the same height, but that’s about where the similarities end. the biggest thing they have in common (and what makes matsuda feel the sickest) is the memory loss.

otonashi’s sketch of matsuda in her notebook has been revised so many times that the page is starting to wear thin from all the erasing.

at one point in dr0, otonashi notices a deep loneliness in matsuda’s eyes. this is partially because matsuda isn’t as good at hiding his emotions as he wants to be, but it’s mostly because otonashi still knows how to analyze him instinctively. she doesn’t realize it, but she can read him like a book in a way that nobody else can.

the way matsuda insults otonashi is a holdover from his relationship with enoshima. part of him wants to go easier on her out of pity, another part of him wants to go harder on her because he’s bitter. it all evens out in the end to leave him teasing her the exact same way he always has (though it feels weird to not have that bullying reciprocated).

[applestorms]

i was just gonna leave this as a comment, but my response started spiraling sooooo. guess i'm makin' this a full on post lol =3=" uhh anyways, responding to @skyborneveggie's tags on this post:

#really good analysis #always here for high-functioning depression light takes #i want to add; while Light is better at reading & manipulating people in the moment he also tends to overlook some things in the long run #because of his superiority complex #like his father volunteering for the eyes in matsuda's place #and matsuda in the ending. As much as i like to think of matsuda as wholesome- #-i do think if light played his cards right he could have manipulated him over to kira's side #but he didn't because he didn't think matsuda was important in the grand scheme of things

very good points!! about matsuda in particular— it’s interesting in retrospect how consistently he’s set up as a side character, particularly with how he is almost always immediately pushed off to the side despite that. like, alongside soichiro, he’s really the first member of the JTF we see pre-lind l. tailor (in the anime, anyway. in the manga it’s a bit more ambiguous, though matsuda definitely shows up to mention KIRA bringing the crime rate down in ch.3, still quite early).

he’s always the one counterpoint within the group, playing devil's advocate in a way with how he brings up the pro-KIRA side of things, yet as you say light underestimates him So consistently that he even ends up evolving into a full on joke/shakespearean fool character by yotsuba, which is really what makes his actions in the end so incredibly significant.

i distinctly remember reading that section where aizawa & mogi are getting more deeply involved with near and, in the case of aizawa in particular, are starting to genuinely consider the possibility that light might be KIRA, and just getting sooooooo so SO goddamn suspicious of what matsuda was doing. this was in part because i already had some spoilers about the ending, specifically about matsuda shooting him, but goddamn do his actions start looking suspicious when you begin taking him seriously as a threat. like, while aizawa is starting to live through his own psychological horror novel come to life, realizing that the innocent kid & strong leader he's been taking care of & following all this time might actually have been the fucking serial murderer they've been after for literal Years, here's what matsuda is up to in the background:

(light's face here. fuckin freak LMFAO)

(this one is particularly notable to me as it shows that even aizawa underestimates him— it's not just light, it's the whole damn team. even ryuk joined in earlier.)

(and of course, my absolute favorite example. the contrast between their expressions alone here is absolutely golden all on its own, but matsuda's heartfelt "don't worry, light!! i'll never betray you!!!" in comparison to THIS only makes it all the more juicy:

like, light doesn't even bother responding to him until he's got a goddamn bullet in his hand. he just sits there confident in the expectation that matsuda will lick his soles like a dog. jesus fucking christ.)

anyways, as i was saying: he's mostly just doing a bunch of dumb shit, making silly jokes in the background, fucking around with ryuk and being written off as an idiot by most characters, especially light but again also aizawa and ryuk. AND YET. he is Always hanging around over light's shoulder, lurking somewhere behind him in almost ever panel he shows up in, perfectly innocent to the point where it's can almost be more off-putting than if he were outwardly, actively questionable. like, this panel in particular, and i mean goddamn, just look at it again:

it hits So Hard in retrospect, not just because matusda is the one to shoot light in the end, possibly being his cause of death had ryuk not stepped in when he did, but also because it's true. as incredibly fucking suspicious as this panel may seem if you are armed with the knowledge that matsuda does, eventually, end up being the one to shoot light, it's equally easy to write it off as normal dumbass matsuda behavior because that is Exactly What It Is. and you would be right!! matsuda is trusting of light to a fault— when he eventually breaks, it is Not due to his own betrayal. it's the evidence of light's. and not just of his manipulation of the task force, for years and years and years on end— it's soichiro's death specifically that finally makes matsuda lose his faith in him.

the idea that light could've manipulated matsuda over to KIRA's side had he just tried a little harder is fascinating, but i think i can also understand why he didn't exert any more effort— it was kinda unnecessary. for basically the entire story, from the moment matsuda is formally introduced, to the minute light breaks and admits he's actually KIRA, matsuda is one particularly dedicated conversation away from being a full-on KIRA supporter— or so light believes, anyway. and he's probably not that far off.

really, i'm of the opinion that it's matsuda's existence as this KIRA-sympathetic figure in the task force in the first place that causes light to believe so strongly that he could eventually convert the entire JTF over to the side of KIRA— possibly even saving all of them their lives in the process. like, as i've said before, for all that light monologues about how he's Definitely Going To Kill The Task Force, Don't Worry, I Can And Will Do It When I Have To, he. never actually does it. instead, light goes through all the trouble of keeping the JTF strung along behind him for more than half a decade following L's death, holding on to all of these strings of his former life even when they are almost undoubtedly more of a pain than they're worth. unable to kill his father, unable to kill misa, unable to kill matsuda— even when he directly tries to.

i forget which post this was on, but i believe someone pointed out before that potentially a major part of light's grief following soichiro's death comes from the fact that he springs a shock on him at the last minute before passing: soichiro never stopped suspecting his son. when he sees light's lifespan above his head his first thought is to be relieved, because the question he's held at the back of his mind for Years has finally been undoubtedly assuaged. light is desperate to believe up until the end that he can make the world truly and genuinely pro-KIRA; his final actions in the moments of clarity before he starts begging at ryuk's feet for his life involve an enthusiastic speech as he makes one final bid at converting the JTF and SPK to join him and believe in his vision of Justice.

and yet. he never quite gets mastuda.

never bothered? or never could? perhaps a bit of both, but it's a fascinating character progression nonetheless, and easily one of the most interesting arcs in the series. poor, poor mastuda, indeed.

sidenote: this is a somewhat half baked thought, but i can't help but make a somewhat minor connection between light's treatment of matsuda and his treatment of misa, as well as his relationship with takada. like, let's think through the list of his main (human) supporters throughout the series, the ones who end up taking on the title of KIRA themselves: in the first half, misa, in the second, takada & mikami. if we add matsuda to this list, we get two mirroring pairs: misa & matsuda for the front half of the series, takada & mikami for the latter.

light's treatment of each of these pairs is quite different, despite the fact that they all essentially fulfill the same purpose to him: misa & mikami act as KIRA's eyes, killing those light is unable/unwilling to himself, while takada & matsuda fill the role of KIRA's spokesperson, albeit to very different audiences. thus each half of each pair executes a different side of KIRA's ideology: misa & mikami the practical side, becoming killers themselves, and takada & matsuda the persuasive side, pointing out the positive influences KIRA's actions have had on the population to The People and the rest of the task force respectively.

it's not quite as simple as i've laid out here, of course— tadaka eventually ends up killing before she dies at light's hand herself, misa lives as light's partner until she loses her memories and never quite recovers, mikami becomes quite static, just playing at a killer for Appearances, until his actions eventually end up accidentally betraying light and leading to his downfall. yet it still seems notable to me that despite light treating takada & mikami noticeably better for the majority of the time that he's working with them, those two are the ones who eventually end up dead, betrayed and betrayer respectively. yet, in the case of misa & matsuda... for all that light degrades them and treats them like shit, those two are the ones that get to live on past him while remaining stubbornly loyal until the end, until light's own actions twist back and smack him in the head.

i think perhaps part of the reason why light never ends up converting matsuda is not just his own ego blowing Shit outta proportion and assuming that matsuda will either very easily convert/is too much of a dumb liability to even bother with, but also light's own discomfort with having followers at all. like, it really takes him that full time skip to get fully on board with the idea that people will Submit to KIRA, despite the fact that he logically must know how necessary that is. light wants the recognition and love and commitment of other people, but he doesn't necessarily want the responsibility of their own stupid actions— a sentiment perhaps reflected in how easily he kills criminals, seeing their "evil" as something to be Purged, an annoyance just as much as a liability for the happiness of the Good, Pure People of the world.

as i've outlined before, misa is the main person who's enthusiastic submission consistently gets on light's nerves and icks him the fuck out, but i can't help but wonder if this same reaction applies at least in part to his distaste of matsuda. it's easier to get away from matsuda at least, considering he doesn't have to play the Good, Heterosexual Boyfriend around him, but that doesn't mean it isn't still somewhat present either. this also gets interesting if you start considering lawlight dynamics during yotsuba as well, and L's similar (if somewhat more overt, even) dislike of matsuda during that era BUT. that'll perhaps have to wait until another essay lolol =3=