#matty x reader

[toomuchracket]

girl of your dreams (d word matty x reader smut)

early days of the relationship, sneaky post-show hotel room sex. warnings for d word mention (duh), exactly one (1) spank, matty going down soft sound, unprotected sex (girly is on the pill tho), and creampies. enjoy <3

“yeah, yeah, goodnight,” matty smiles as his bandmates disappear into their respective rooms, entering his own when the locking mechanism clicks open. he's used to that sound now, used to quickly sliding the do not disturb hanger onto the handle, used to kicking his shoes off and placing the keycard near the door and yawning as he turns the corner into the bedroom proper.

what he's not used to, however, is seeing you there, sprawled out on his bed watching tv, wearing your glasses and a champagne-coloured satin nightgown that quite honestly makes him go weak in the knees.

he wants to get used to it, though. really, really wants to. he's determined to, actually. but first, he's determined to make up for being later to your rendezvous than planned. “hi, darling,” he smiles (how could he not, looking at you?), shrugging his jacket off en route to the bed. “i'm so sorry it took me so long to get here.”

“s'alright, baby, i understand. newcastle show and all,” you crawl to the end of the bed to meet him, and the way your tits swing as you do affects him almost as much as the pet name does; both of these things pale in comparison to the way you kiss him, though, all soft lips and quiet sighs, hand coming up to hold his face while you smile into him. when the kiss ends, you press your forehead to matty's, and it takes all his focus not to swoon. “your family are lovely, by the way. ‘specially your dad.”

matty laughs softly. “yeah, he was telling me how canny he thinks you are. says i should be paying you extra for the fact you're the one waking me up every morning.”

“oh, no, i like the kiss currency thing we've got,” you giggle, pressing one to his nose and sending his heart racing. “but were you really that much of a nightmare when you were little?”

“christ, yeah. he didn't detail it?”

“no, he was very sweet. maybe he was trying to make you seem cool,” your pretty face shifts into a smirk, and matty braces himself for the inevitable. “i mean, your family are all so concerned with when you plan on settling down - maybe he was trying to make you seem appealing to me.”

“take it you heard them asking me if i was seeing anyone, then?”

“yeah. was funny,” you peck his lips. “and your answer was very good.”

matty hums, thinking back to the there's someone, yeah, but she's too good for me so i'm playing it cool right now he'd placated his family with. which, to be honest, isn't a total lie. “good, good,” he gently lowers you so you're lying on the bed, crawling atop you and resting his arms on either side of your head; yours rest on his shoulders, pretty nails gently scratching at the back of his head the way he likes. “and was my dad successful?”

“at making you appeal to me? oh, yeah,” the playfulness in your eyes is addictive. “i’m really quite fond of you, matthew.”

god, the way you say his name! “feeling's mutual, gorgeous,” matty leans back, letting his calloused hands lightly skim up the sides of your torso. “love this outfit, by the way.”

“m'glad. bought it with you in mind,” the revelation sends matty reeling, and it's only worsened by what comes next. “dunno if you could call it an outfit, though.”

“why not?”

you smile, sweet as sugar. “because i'm not actually wearing anything else, darling.”

jesus christ. blood rushing in his ears, matty stutters out a response. “you serious?”

a nod, a suggestive bite of your own fingertip. “see for yourself.”

what a fool he would be to do otherwise. blood still pumping in his ears, and travelling more towards his trousers by the nanosecond, matty drags himself down your body and settles himself on the bed between your - fucking gorgeous - legs. with something almost resembling trepidation, he slowly pushes the silk up your thighs, jaw dropping in a groan as he takes in the enticing wetness pooling between them on your cunt. “fucking hell, sweetheart,” he moans, hand tracing up your slit and circling your clit as if on instinct, making you jerk with a whine and his dick jump as a result. when he brings his fingers to his lips and the delectable tang of you hits his tongue, matty's necessary next step becomes crystal clear. “please, please let me eat you out.”

your reply nearly makes him cum there and then - another thing matty's still unused to is the new nickname you've been trying out together, but it isn't half fucking incredible. “yes, daddy.”

matty thinks he breathed out a “thank you” as soon as the words left your lips, but he can't be sure; the only thing he can focus on is getting his mouth on you, licking upwards to your clit before wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and flicking over it with the tip of his tongue, just the way he was elated to discover you like. he can't help but moan into you when he hears your little whimper of “oh, just like that, yeah”, smiling when you moan louder in response and clamp your thighs around his head - a second later, when realisation seems to hit, you go to loosen your grip with a half-whined “m'sorry, daddy”, but matty just shakes his head (which has you moaning again as his tongue slices across your clit) and shuffles himself around so he can wrap his arms around your thighs and keep them there. not out of masochism - well, part of it is - but more out of the fact that your thighs locked around his head is proof that this is really happening, and he isn't just dreaming about going down on you like he did for months after first meeting you. 

of course, reality is so much better than those dreams: matty could never have imagined how good you actually taste when he's licking into you with nothing short of desperation, or how beautiful you look when you're all fucked-out, or the way your voice goes all shaky when you're about to cum. which, incidentally, is what's happening now - “m'close, daddy, m'so fucking close. wanna cum, please, please let me cum!”

seems as good a time as any for matty to take a breath, he thinks. pulling away from you just long enough to take in a lungful or air, he nods. “cum, princess.”

with a dazed smile so beautiful it breaks his heart a little bit, and a breathy “thank you”, you obey, body tensing and releasing a final time, accompanied by shaking limbs and broken whimpers of his name and his nickname and god only knows what else. matty kisses your inner thigh, resting his head on it and letting you come back down to earth in your own time; he likes watching you like this, anyway, worn-out from pleasure and a little bit haphazard. your hair's a mess, your glasses are askew (he's also far more into them than he initially thought, to be honest), and your nightgown is really quite crinkled, but he can practically feel the adoration for you emanating from himself. 

you're so beautiful. and you're his. he still can't quite believe it's not a dream.

you rake a hand through his sweaty curls, and he's reminded that this is all real. he kisses your thigh again, and you giggle. “hi.”

“hi, darling,” matty rubs a little loveheart on your thigh with his thumb. “how you feeling?”

“so good. thank you, gorgeous,” you smile, while matty's cheeks burn at the compliment. “how are you?”

“i'm good, angel, i'm really good.”

“tired at all?”

he shakes his head. “not really. but we can go to sleep now if you want,” he smirks when you shake your head enthusiastically. “no? there's something else you wanna stay up for… princess?”

you bite your lip, nodding. he huffs out a laugh. “need you to tell me what it is so we can do it, sweet girl. come on,” he pulls himself up slowly, pressing kisses up your stomach and resting his head on your tits. “tell daddy what you want.”

“i - oh, fuck,” you whimper as matty tugs down the top of your dress and mouths at your nipple. “want- want you to fuck me, daddy. please.”

he knew it was coming, and yet matty still feels heat trickle down his chest right to his dick when you speak. “good girl. and how do you want to be fucked, princess?”

“in front of the mirror,” your voice is clear, sure, sexy; it crumbles when you talk again, but matty thinks your secret desire is even hotter. “wanna watch.”

the next few minutes are a blur to matty, which he reckons he would put down to some weird primitive horny instinct to just fuck you as soon as he can. he remembers kissing you, but nothing about how he got you on your hands and knees before the mirror or undressed himself; post-kiss, the only thing he can focus on is the feeling of inching inside your soaked cunt, watching your eyes roll back into your head, listening to the choked moan that leaves your kiss-bitten lips as he bottoms out inside you with a murmured “fuck”. he kisses your shoulder, smiling into your summer-scented skin at the way you giggle deliriously. “feel so good around me, baby. you want me to fuck you now?”

“please,” your jaw slackens as matty starts to move his hips; when he speeds up, groaning at how wet you are, how brain-meltingly tight, you whimper, and he has to force himself not to cum then and there. “daddy…”

“i know, sweetheart, i know. doing so well for me,” matty coos, eyes fixated on the reflection of your tits bouncing in the genuinely most perfect way with every thrust. christ, he's really lucked out with you, hasn't he? sweet, smart, fucking gorgeous… he's punching well above his weight. “my beautiful girl. want me to get you off again, princess?”

you nod, whimpering when his hand meets your asscheek; as he rubs the stinging skin, matty sighs. “words, baby, come on.”

“sorry, daddy. yes please.”

he leans forward to kiss the nape of your neck, moving to whisper in your ear. “good girl.”

his hips speed up, so much so that he can already feel the muscle aches he'll wake up with tomorrow. but it's more than worth it to see you like this, to make you like this, wanton and writhing and whining every time your bodies meet; the way you're beginning to clench around him in the way matty's learned is a sign that you're about to cum spurs him on, too, desperate to get you off and chase his own release. “c'mon, princess,” he pants, gripping your hips as tight as possible to keep up momentum. “need you to cum for me, yeah? cum, and i'll fill you up. know you fucking love it when i do that, don't you? love being a good girl for daddy.”

“yeah,” comes the broken cry in response. your cheeks are stained with mascara tears, streaming from your hazy eyes, and your whole body appears to be shaking - suddenly, it tenses, and matty hisses at the feeling of you vice-tight around his dick. “m'cumming, oh fuck, fuck!”

there's an influx of warmth and wetness around him, and matty can't help but follow in your footsteps. “shit, me too,” he moans, brain foggy but body still slamming into yours, syncopated now; he clings to you as he cums, eyes rolling back into his head as he finishes deep inside your cunt. your arms give out, and matty follows your fall onto the bed, draping himself over you without pulling out and pressing his lips to the back of your neck. “jesus christ, princess, you're so good,” he kisses your cheek when you giggle, a sweetness incongruous with the fact he can feel his cum dripping out of you. “y'alright?”

“yeah,” you turn to catch his lips with yours, a tender kiss that ends with you looking at him so adoringly he almost can't take it. “thank you, baby.”

“anytime. s'my pleasure. and yours, i s'pose.”

“you're so silly.”

“and you're into it.”

“i am, yeah,” you smile, and matty swears he can feel butterflies in his stomach. “i'm just very into you.”

“i feel the same about you,” matty strokes your hair, yawning. “shall we shower? or d'you wanna stay like this for a bit, darling?”

you beam. “wanna stay like this forever, matty. but,” you wink. “given that we're both working tomorrow, maybe we should limit it to, let's say, five minutes of this before we shower?”

god, he's so obsessed with you. “whatever you want, my girl.”

[finkinthisfrew]

TEACHER'S PET (Pt.5)

cw: 18+, teacher/student, teasing, taunting, daddy, praise kink, other stuff, v inappropriate :)

You follow Professor Healy up to his office, hands shaking in anticipation, unsure of what to expect next.

“Sit,” he commands as he steps through the door. You enter the room, obediently walking over to the chair facing his desk. 

“No,” he says authoritatively as you move to sit, causing you to freeze where you stand. “Edge of the desk. Facing the window.”

Confused, but too anxious to question him, you step behind his desk, hopping up on its edge as you hear the door close shut behind you. Another click- the lock. You sit quietly, heart pounding, eyes glued to your Professors chair, oblivious to the wall of colorful leaves behind it, branches dancing in powerful fall winds as you listen to the sound of his footsteps approaching.

“Miss Thompson,” he starts quietly, though the authority in his voice is unwavering as he continues. “You seem to think indecency on an Ivy League campus is not only appropriate, but worth flaunting,” he says as he steps into your view, eyes looking down at his busied hands. His fingers work at the cuffs of his dress shirt, then he rolls his sleeves up meticulously, exposing his veiny tattooed forearms one at a time. You raise your eyebrows at him, tilting your nose up snootily as you open your mouth to protest.

“”Well maybe if y-“ you start hotly, but he cuts you off immediately, disinterested in whatever you have to say.

“That wasn’t a question- it was a statement. And if you could spend more than two seconds listening to me instead of thinking about my cock all day long then maybe you would realize that, wouldn’t you agree, Miss Thompson?” He asks, towering over you with eyes so dark they look nearly black as he steps towards you.

“W-well, I,” you stutter, cheeks flushing, but he continues like you haven’t spoken as he bends down towards you, placing his hands on either side of you on the desk.

“You spend class after class sitting there in your absurdly tiny skirts, biting your little lip until it’s raw and squeezing your thighs together like I won’t notice, desperate to appease me when called upon in class… yet the moment class is done, you become a tyrant. A good student should always be good- not just when she chooses to be…” he says, his tone displeased as his eyes bear down on you. You desperately want to please him, reaching your hand out to take his tie, dangling before you like bait.

“I want to be good for you,” you say quietly, gripping his tie with both hands and pulling on it gently- pleading as you look up into his dark eyes. “Let me be good for you.” You tug, tilting your lips up towards his, searching for approval. 

He looks down at you thoughtfully, mulling something over in his mind as his eyes wander your face. Abruptly, he brushes your hands off his tie, turns, and sits down in his chair, crossing his arms as his eyes travel slowly, greedily up your body, finally piercing through your soul once more before speaking.

“Show me your homework,” he commands.

“What?” You ask, caught off guard.

“You heard me,” he says, his voice low, thick like molasses. “I’d like to grade your work,” he says darkly, face dripping with lust as his eyes wander down your chest to your skirt, making you squeeze your legs together without realizing. 

“Spread.”

You spread your already slick legs automatically, the sight of your Professor sitting back in his chair lazily as he watches you spread your legs only exciting you more.

“Ah-ah-“ he tuts, lifting his chin as he watches. “Wider… That’s it,” he says approvingly as you spread your legs as far as you can, exposing yourself entirely to him. “Good girl,” he says, mouth remaining slightly open, slack as he watches your juices drip onto his desk where he was to grade papers later that night.

A moan slips from your lips, his praise sending a shiver of pleasure through your core. 

“How do you already look so fucked out?” He says quietly to himself in disbelief. “I’m not even touching you and you’re already moaning,” he says, a smug smile teasing his lips. You nod innocently at him as you run your fingers up the inside of your thigh.

“I like pleasing you,” you said softly as your fingers meet your wetness. You slowly drag them up your dripping slit, making your stomach quake with pleasure. Your finger finds your clit and you begin to rub tight circles into it, moaning a bit louder this time as he watches your fingers intently, eyes flitting back up to yours periodically as you work.

“A little slower- there you go,” he directs you. You slow your speed, whimpering as you scan his face, the memory of his lip in your mouth screaming at you, demanding to be relived once more. But you want to be obedient- you want nothing more than to please him. Heat builds inside you as you watch the corner of your Professors mouth twitch up a your whimpers. The coil inside you tightens more than usual, much deeper than it has before, but it’s still not enough, so you pout in frustration. 

He stands up slowly, his eyes penetrating yours as he cocks his head to one side, taking a step towards you as he slips his hands in his pockets.

“Does it feel like it’s not enough?” He taunts with a small smile. You nod your head rapidly as you watch him approach you.

“It’s never enough,” you whisper, your eyebrows creasing in pained frustration.

“How many times have you tried? Enough?” He asks, his tone dripping with lust as he takes another step. He’s now standing between your open legs, looking down at your hand, then back up into your eyes, his pupils dilated with desire. You nod your head, pushing your lower lip out even further as your frustration builds.

He shakes his still cocked head faintly in disappointment as he slips one hand from his pocket, reaching it up to your face

“Words, Miss Thompson,” he breathes as he looks down at you, taking your chin delicately in his hand. His thumb caresses your bottom lip and you whine at his touch, watching the corners of his mouth turn into a greedy smile through your hazy eyes.

“Too many,” you pant quietly, but your answer isn’t enough for Professor Healy, who gives you another warning look as his hand sharply tips your head up to him. “Every day after class. Every night before bed. Every morning when I wake up. Sometimes even between classes,” you list between moans, panting as you speak.

“And what do you think about?” He asks, dropping his hand from your face to your lap, trailing a single finger down the top of your thigh towards your knee. The rough finger against your hyper-sensitive skin sends a wave of electricity through you, causing another breathy whine to escape your lips.

“You,” you breathe as you close your eyes and slip two fingers inside yourself. You groan at the feeling, a new pleasure blooming within you. But the sensation is too dull- your fingers too small, too gentle to satisfy your need for fullness. It’s not enough. You push them in anyways, fumbling somewhat rhythmically- desperate to relieve that burning need for release.

“Well, naturally,” your Professor agrees in a pleased tone. “And you’ve been doing this every day, multiple times a day, and you’re still not satisfied?” He asks in both curiosity and awe. You open your eyes halfway as you press the heel of your palm into your clit.

“No, it never feels right,” you groan in frustration at the feeling. “I need your help,” you whine. “I need you, Professor.”

“Ahhh,” he says in understanding, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He reaches his hand up to your breast, cupping it just barely as he swipes your hardened nipple through the thin material of your shirt with his thumb, making you gasp at the shock of pleasure. He cocks his head to one side, enthralled by your physical reaction to his touch. You look up at him with renewed fire in your eyes, and he lowers his other hand to your thigh, trailing it slowly back up your bare skin as his eyes pierce through you. “You need some tutoring,” he breathes darkly as he pushes your hand away, replacing it with his own. You gasp at his touch, missing the shudder of pleasure that rolls through your Professor’s body at your erotic moans.

His fingers find your clit first and you groan- loudly- gripping the table with fingers like vices. His calloused thumb rubs wave after wave of pleasure into your clit as you mewl, watching his expert thumb work. His fingers are much longer, much thicker, and much rougher than yours. You want them inside you now.

“Fuck,” you whine, chest heaving as he picks up his speed on your clit.

“Are you taking notes?” He rasps, his own breath growing ragged as his other hand slips up the hem of your shirt, his weathered skin leaving tingles in its wake as it travels back up to your breast, cupping the warm, soft mound of skin.

“More,” you complain in a low whine. “I need you- to fill me,” you say as you bite back another moan. You reach your hand out to his buckle, pulling him closer to you and begin to fumble at the clasp. Suddenly his hand leaves your clit, gently gripping your wrist as he tuts once more. You whimper.

“I’m not done, yet, darling,” he coos as he leans into your ear. “I have to check your work first.” You groan as you feel his hand between your legs once more, his fingers toying lightly at your entrance, teasing you as your hips reach out desperately for more. You feel his other hand trail lightly round your neck, his thumb lingering on your throat for a moments before reaching around, taking a handful of your hair in his grip. He pulls, tilting your head back as he dips a single finger into you, no more than an inch. You groan and whine as you try to push your hips forward, but he keeps his finger just out of reach. 

“Look at you, writhing around all desperate for me,” he says, voice gravelly in your ear. “So eager… Do you want more, baby?”

“Yesss,” you plead, turning your head in his grasp to place your lips on the closest part of him to you- reaching desperately for his jaw, thirsting for a taste of him. 

“Of course you do,” he says as he lets you nip at his jaw, smiling as he withdraws his finger, slowly replacing it with two as he pushes them in a bit further, stretching you wide. You throw your hands around his neck, anchoring yourself in the sea of pleasure, waves of ecstasy crashing around you as you dig your nails into your Professors skin. 

“My best student,” he praises, placing a gentle kiss on your temple as you whine loudly in his ear. He pushes his fingers in the rest of the way, all the way up to his knuckles. His two fingers are thicker than three of yours, their roughness only adding to the whirlwind of pleasure building within you as he begins to pump his fingers at an agonizingly slow pace, every stroke against your G-spot earning a moan from you.

“Is this what you needed? To be filled up a bit?” He taunts you sweetly. “All those performances and tantrums you threw for me, and all you needed was for me to fill you a little?”

“Yes, daddy,” you breathe, the word slipping from you naturally before you can catch yourself. Your heart stops as you feel his fingers pause.

“Ohhh, I see,” he says with a smile, lifting his face to look down on you. His fingers resume fucking you, picking up speed, just barely, making you mewl frantically. “Had I known every time you said Professor you meant daddy…” his voice trails off as he looks down at his fingers. You watch him lick his lip, then bite it slightly as he watches in devilish fascination as your hips buck uncontrollably against his hand. “Very good girl,” he says, almost to himself. You groan in pleasure, his praise like its own toy, sending a shiver of satisfaction up your spine, escaping your lips with a shudder.

“Do you want my cock, baby? Is that what you need? Not full enough?” He coos sweetly.

“Yes- fuck, yes,” you reply exasperatedly.

“Yes, what?” He says, raising his eyebrows at you expectantly. You groan through clenched teeth, his mutual need for the word sexier than you ever could’ve imagined.

“Yes, daddy,” you whimper as he smiles, pumping his fingers even faster inside of you, a burning ball of pleasure building steadily in your core. “I need you to,” you add in a choke as you watch the vein in his forearm strain against his skin as his fingers curl, every stroke pushing you closer.

“Well I have some unfortunate news for you,” he whispers in your ear. “You see, you’ve been very bad,” he growls, lips grazing the skin of your neck, teasing you with their touch. “Traipsing around campus in this little getup, flaunting your ass to everyone like it doesn’t belong to me.”

You can’t help but groan at his possessive words- all you’ve wanted was to be his.

“Trying to tease me- trying to tempt me,” he continues, pressing his thumb harder into your clit, making you cry out in pleasure. “You’ve been a very bad girl, Hazel… And bad girls don’t get the privilege of being filled and fucked till they scream,” he taunts as you whimper in frustration. “They don’t get to be pounded till they can’t walk anymore- till they can’t think anymore,” he says, nipping your burning skin at the base of your neck between his words. “You haven’t earned that privilege, Miss Thompson,” he said, his mouth finally planting itself above your collarbone, warm tongue swirling against your skin before harshly sucking on it, making you moan loudly in euphoria. 

“How do I earn it?” You beg desperately through panting breath.

“Ohoho, my darling…” you hear him chuckle below you, his face lifting up to look at you with a devilish smile. His mouth hovers above yours as he looks up at you with wide blackened eyes in pity, warm breath taunting you as it washes over your tender lips- bitten raw from countless bitten back screams. “Did you fuck yourself one too many times for me this weekend?” He asks in a mocking tone as he pouts. “You’ve already forgotten what I said? Too cock-drunk for daddy to remember what he told you?” He pushes you down to your elbows, then grinds his hips into yours, his fingers pulsing rapidly within you. He presses his forehead into yours, nostrils flaring, pupils blown-out as he growls into you, “You’re not going to touch my cock- you’re not going to feel my cock- you’re not even going to so much as see my cock for the next four years. I hope that little grab you tried earlier in my trousers will be enough to tide you over until graduation, because you’re going to spend the rest of your Masters Degree replaying it- replaying this- the time you came so close to getting fucked by your Professor- night after night all alone in your bed, until you it drives you mad. I’ll be surprised if you don’t start touching yourself in classes after this… you’ll spend the next four years crawling at the thought of getting to feel my cock inside of you. That’s a decent enough punishment, don’t you agree?” He says menacingly, your clit burning with pleasure under his thumb as he coaxes your orgasm closer.

You shake your head furiously, your need to be fucked by him clouding your mind in such a thick haze of lust you can’t seem to think straight as you ride the high of pleasure.

“No? You don’t agree?” He asks threateningly. Suddenly, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you whimpering, shaking against him, the overwhelming emptiness leaving you feeling deranged. You nod desperately- anything to get his fingers back inside you.

“That’s my smart girl,” he coos sweetly. You feel his fingers pushing back inside you, the relief almost sending tears to your eyes as your elbows give out. Your Professor catches you with his other hand, holding you up as he pumps his fingers faster. “That’s my smart girl. Yes baby, you’re right,” he says as he kisses your forehead tenderly. “You earned your punishment and you’re taking it so well for daddy.”

He places slow gentle kisses on your face, your voice emitting an endless stream of moans and whining, teetering so closely to the edge of your climax, you don’t think you could remember your name if he asked you.

“Shhh, you don’t need to worry about that now. Right now you need to come for daddy. Can you do that for me baby girl? That’s it, you sound so beautiful when you scream, my angel. Moan for me just like that, there you go,” he says as you buck your hips uncontrollably against his relentless fingers, unravelling in his grasp. “Do you need daddy to fuck you a little harder with his fingers? Is that it? Such a needy girl…” he taunts with a smile, your climax only seconds away as the pleasure begins to overflow inside of you. “Are you ready to cum for daddy? Yes? Yes, I think so too, baby. Be a good girl and cum for me. All over my fingers. Ah- that’s it. Good girl, just like that. Perfect… My perfect girl…” he mutters the last few words into your skin as your orgasm bursts through your core, spreading through your body to your fingertips and toes, electric waves of pleasure splintering you from within as you scream. You shudder in his grip, legs shaking against his hips as your eyes roll back into your head. Pleasure explodes and pulses within you as his fingers slow with the settling of your body, leaving you limp in the strong grasp of his arm. The pleasure envelops you, slowly bringing you back to consciousness as you catch your breath from the release, relief flooding your body after weeks of aching. You eventually open your eyes only to find your Professor looking down at his hand, still between your legs.

“Look at this pretty little mess you made for me,” he says, tilting his head as admires the juices coating his dripping hand. He moves his fingers around inside you curiously, pulling them in and out as he plays with your wetness, periodically looking up to watch you as you jerk and jolt at his movements, too sensitive to be played with after such a strong climax, but too drained to stop him. 

“Feel that? Do you feel my fingers inside you?” He asks you softly. You shiver as he cradles you closer to him, his fingers still toying with you, then manage to nod your head twice. “Memorize that. Because you’re not going to feel them for a very. Long. Time.”

You can’t help the whimpers that escape your lips as he withdraws his fingers. He looks down at you with an indecipherable look as his eyes travel over your face. Then, he leans down, placing a single gentle kiss on your lips, his mouth moving carefully and purposefully as a new kind of flutter awakens in your core. When your lips finally part, you watch as he steps away, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the juices from his hand.

“You’re forgiven for your behavior,” he starts quietly, wiping each finger meticulously. “But if you try to tempt me like that again, I promise the next punishment won’t be nearly as pleasant for you,” he says without looking at you. “You’re dismissed.”

You stand up in a daze, furrowing your brow in confusion as you walk towards the door obediently, too fucked-out to do much more than simply follow his command. You open the door, glancing back at your teacher once more, his back now facing you as he looks out the window of his office before you leave, closing the door behind you. You lean against it, the click of the lock a minute later causing you to flinch. You rest your head back against the glass window of the door, catching your breath as you play through what just happened, the wet mess between your legs becoming more noticeable outside the steamy haze of the office.

It didn’t make sense. Why didn’t he fuck you? Did he not want to? That wouldn’t make sense. He didn’t have to touch you, and yet he went out of his way to make you cum anyways? Eagerly cooing every sweet nothing you could have possibly wanted into your ear when he could have just sent you home…  That only made the mystery of him not fucking you even more confusing. He had every opportunity to fuck you just now, and yet he didn’t even so much as stroke himself. Maybe your sexual desire wasn’t as mutual as you’d thought it was… 

A sudden sound shakes you from your spiral. You scan the empty hall, waiting for the sound to repeat itself in the hopes of identifying it. You stand there quietly, ears perked. You hear it again, realizing the sound was coming from behind you.

A whimper.

You turn, then reach as high as you can on your tiptoes to the tiny sliver of glass that hadn’t been covered in newspaper.

Just barely, you see him. The two fingers that had just been inside you, the same one’s he’d just cleaned in front of you now in his mouth, his eyes closed as he sucks on them. You can’t see his other hand, hidden behind the desk, but you slowly piece together what he’s doing, the rapid rhythmic movement in his lap paired with his soft whimpers finally clicking in your mind. You catch yourself as your hand drifts back down between your legs, clenching it into a tight fist before you could do anything crazy. You can’t get caught out here- another teacher could walk by at any moment and see you straining on your toes to spy on your teacher in his private quarters. No, this you’d have to enjoy later. You let yourself watch him pump himself a another minute longer, taking extra care to memorize every whimper before promptly running down the hall, desperate to get home so you could replay the look on his face when he caught his bottom lip with his teeth and chewed it, hair bouncing with the speed of his hand before looking down with a pained expression at the small crumpled pile of black lace on his desk…

[abiiors]

everything is blue ✨ // matty healy x reader

a/n: nnn. that's it, that't the plot. gotta thank @theungracefulgrace for the idea, i hope i did it justice <3 cw: smut, thigh riding and matty is a bit pathetic in this lmao, maybe even subby??? is this my subby matty debut??? wc: 1.9k (smaller than i thought actually...)

“you two are disgusting,” george snickers from behind his drums as you make your way onto matty’s lap. 

it’s light-hearted and teasing—your friend taking the piss out of both of you but matty scoffs and you stick your tongue out.

“jealous,” you tease, “i’m going to wait until charli shows up and then we’ll talk.”

“yeah let’s talk then, mate,” matty quips from next to you and it only takes him another second to push his hands inside your t-shirt and place them on your bare stomach, almost caressing your ribs. 

it tickles and you squirm away, alerting george once more. 

“not going to start snogging in front of me, are you?” he turns around making an exaggerated vomiting gesture and scrunches his face at you. matty, almost predictably, takes that as a challenge. 

within moments, you feel his fingers lightly closing around your jaw, turning your face and capturing your lips in his. matty’s chest is pressed against your arm and his heartbeat echoes through your entire body, thrilling you to your very core when you feel the slight spike in it as your tongue grazes his bottom lip. his other arm snakes around your waist, pulling you closer as matty deepens the kiss and hums in your mouth, sending vibrations through your entire body. in turn your heart skips a beat. you don’t break apart until you hear a loud cough in the vicinity. and george stares back at both of you, truly disgruntled now. 

“bleurgh,” he makes a face. “like i said, digusting.”

“and like she said,” matty snorts, “jealous.”

“simp!”

“idiot!”

“oh, very clever mate!”

“oh—”

“alright, that’s it!” you interrupt matty before he can retort any further and he glares at you in return. “you’re fighting like twelve year olds.”

matty smirks. “weren’t snogging me like—”

you clamp your hand over matty’s mouth before he can finish his vulgar sentence earning you two juvenile giggles—one slightly muffled by your hand. 

“you are like an animal,” george teases again, earning an expression of utter betrayal from matty. 

“how dare yo—”

“prove it then!” he challenges. his mouth curls into a smirk and your eyes narrow. you know this expression on george. you know he’s up to something. 

“we are in november,” he grins cheekily. “the month of chastity and all.”

“can it!” you warn but it’s too late. matty’s smirk already mirrors george’s. you can practically see the cogs turning in their heads and you know what’s about to happen. 

“a bet,” george shifts in his seat looking eager and devious. matty does the same, gently setting you off his lap and placing a quick apologetic kiss on your head when you protest. 

“a bet,” he repeats. 

and then with utter disgust, you watch the two men in front of you spit on their hands and shake on their deal.

at first it’s fun—watching him turn red and squirm every time you get out the shower with just a towel wrapped around you. a few times, you even see him immediately sit on his hands or busy himself in his phone, making you giggle. the few times after that, he leaves the room entirely—practically running away like a virgin catholic school boy. 

the first few days are okay, fun even. you send him a selfies—towel just high enough for your nipples to be covered, barely covering your ass, showing its curve very well with the way you pose; on your bed, wearing his t-shirt and only his t-shirt, hand buried suggestively between your thighs—matty threatens to block you, accusing you of wanting to make him lose. 

he kisses you like usual, though. that’s the one thing he can’t stop doing. if anything, it feels like his mouth is attached to yours any chance he gets. it’s like he’s compensating, even letting you straddle him and deepen it until he has to pull away with a pained expression.

“how would george know?!” you whine and watch him pout. 

“trust me, he would,” matty sighs, shoulders slumping, “i would stop looking so fucking miserable for one.”

you fume quietly, realising you let yourself become collateral damage. he is so close that his cologne permeates your fucking lungs—earthy, sweet and matty. always surrounded by the smell of cigarettes and now his body wash that’s somehow become the most enticing scent in the world. 

“can’t lose one week in, baby.” his face pinches into one big sad expression and you frown at him. 

one whole week of being so close to him and cuddling at night in bed, one week of feeling his leg part your thighs in his sleep, of feeling his thigh graze against your clit and making you hiss. one week of having him right here but not having him at all. 

you shift on his lap, feeling the coarse material of his jeans against the insides of your thighs—not that you’re wearing much, just a big t-shirt and underwear, while he’s still in his jeans and t-shirt and not yet ready for bed—and an idea sparks. 

“so don’t lose,” you smirk, moving again, straddling him with a hand on his chest. “the bet was for you to not cum. i am nowhere mentioned in it.”

“what a-are you doing?” matty stutters. he actually fucking stutters, eyes wide and roaming all over your body, particularly focused on where you’re pressed up on his thigh and already on your way to discarding your underwear. 

“what does it look like i’m doing, baby?” you lift up slightly, quickly sliding your underwear off and deliberately stuffing it in the pocket of his jeans. 

he whines and the muscles of his thigh shift right under your bare cunt. 

as if on auto-pilot, his hands grip either sides of your waist, pressing you down onto him even though his face looks utterly devastated and hungry. 

“maybe i could do this with your pillow instead, hmm? cum all over it while thinking about you?” you taunt, gyrating your hips and grinding all over his thigh, already soaking his jeans with how turned on you are. it has the precise effect you’re hoping for.

“no–fuck,” he whines, “stay here. use me, please, but stay here.”

“use you, yeah?” your mouth ghosts over his, hand trailing up his chest and tracing the contours of his throat with your nails, tracing all the delicate veins and the flutter of his rapid pulse. matty’s breath quickens and comes out in sharp pants. it’s almost like he can’t handle it, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself anymore.

“touch me, touch me please!” he begs, eager and desperate when you quirk an eyebrow at him.

“touch you how?”

instead of answering, matty takes your hand off his throat and presses in on the bulge in his jeans, sighing at the pressure. he’s practically twitching under your hand, squirming even before you’ve properly even touched him. 

“can’t lose now, my darling, can you?” you marvel at the way your voice sounds, sultry and dominating with just a hint of condescensation. it’s power like you’ve never felt before. it makes the blood in your veins heat up even more, makes it flow faster. 

so you dig the heel of your palm onto his crotch, drag it up and then down and feel him twitch. feel him grow impossibly hard. matty's body shudders on the sofa like he's not even in there—just a puppet lying there pliant for your pleasure.

“but—”

you bend down to kiss him and feel all his complaints die on his lips. matty whimpers, moving his hips against your hand, thrusting forward almost, but you put an end to it almost immediately and laugh when he whines into the kiss. 

“i want to cum, fuck, need to so so bad!” his curls droop over his eyes. eyes that stare at you with such blatant lust that it throws you off kilter, almost makes your hips stutter but the pressure feels so good! the friction is enough to reduce every single thought in your brain down to a lumpy mush. 

“yeah?” you whisper in a tightly controlled breathy voice, “but you look so pretty when you beg sweet boy.”

he swallows roughly, transfixed on you and looking utterly fucked and unable to do anything other than keep his hands on your hips and help you ride his thigh, let you get off on him while he watches helplessly and writhes under your touch. 

“baby…” he whimpers again when you move your free hand through his curls, tugging at some of the strands and pushing them out of his eyes. 

your thighs burn with the strain, a delicious fucking ache that starts from deep within you and slowly spreads to the very tips of your fingers and the wet, sticky spot on matty’s jeans grows larger, right as your moans grow louder. 

“fuck, matty…” you bend down, mouth right next to his ear, right on his sweat soaked skin, “so fucking good for me, my pretty boy. make–shit! making me feel so good.”

your movements gain speed and you throw your head back, ignoring him entirely and chasing your own pleasure. no doubt he’s rather occupied with your tits bouncing in his face, seeing as how his hand trails up to trace them, to pinch your hard nipples between his fingers. 

“shit!” you cry out, “gonna cum baby. make me cum okay? good boy…”

matty’s back arches off the sofa—eager to obey, so so eager to please—pushing your t-shirt up and flicking his tongue over your nipples, nipping them with his teeth. matty alternated between tongue and teeth, licking and sucking the sensitive skin until there are bruised on your breasts, until you can barely distinguish one thought from another. until finally, you tip over the edge. 

there’s a moment where all you recall is crying out his name, breathing harsh and uneven, and then a moment stretched on to infinity that’s just pure fucking bliss. undiluted ecstasy. and then your hips finally stutter to a stop, just as you open your eyes hazily. 

the sight in front of you almost brings you to your knees again. matty’s jaw hangs open, mouth wet and red and raw and bitten—the absolute portrait of being fucked, and yet he hasn’t even been touched yet. hasn’t shed a single item of clothing. tears of frustration gather in his eyes while his hair falls all over his forehead. he can’t even make a single sound. not even a peep. 

this must have been torture for him and you know it. a sadistic side of you even relishes in it. “did you have fun?” you tease. “i certainly did…”

when you kiss matty again, you can physically feel the jolt in his body, as if his heart restarts, thumping in his chest wildly while he’s still speechless and focused entirely on you. 

matty makes a broken sound in his throat—somewhere between a “yes” and a “please” and maybe even your name. but you don’t let him finish. 

instead, you swipe your fingers through your soaked folds just as the trembling in your body subsides, collecting your slick and bringing it up to his lips that are still parted in shock. 

“a little thank you,” you place the fingers on his tongue, laughing when he swirls his tongue around them. “for being such a good boy.” 

“a good boy…” he repeats, voice hoarse and barely even audible. and you know the fun is just getting started…

lemme know what you think <33

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[trumanbluee]

the only time i feel i might get better - matty healy

minors dni !! this is 17+ nsfw material !!!

please reblog if you like it! ᡣ𐭩

content: you get sick at matty's and he takes good care of you <3

word count: 4.6k

warnings: mention of vomit, oc is on her period :( , a bad ending, and matty being very very darling.

a/n: hi!! i know i said i wasn't going to post again for a bit but i think this is so cute and its just sitting in my drafts!! enjoy ( and pls reblog if you do! ) :)

She groaned in her sleep, stirring slightly as she felt another cramp tear through her stomach, the ache travelling down into her legs as she tucked them to her chest, brows furrowing at the sudden pain. She hadn’t slept well all night, spending an hour of it with her head in the toilet, Matty holding her hair back and rubbing her back softly, bless his heart. 

Her heart dropped at the thought of him having to see her in that position, retching what little food was in her stomach, up. They were a relatively new couple, having been dating for almost 6 months, and, of course, she’d had her period around him, but she’d never gotten it at his place, and never felt as sick as she did right now around him either. She felt horrible, half from the pain in her slightly puffy, bloated, lower belly, and half from the embarrassment of him seeing her like this. 

Fluttering her eyes open, she saw that Matty’s side of the bed was empty and, upon further inspection with her outstretched hand, he’d been up for a while, the sheets a crisp cold feeling compared to the warmth of her blanket cocoon. She sighed, wondering if he’d been able to go back to sleep at all after the nights events, before her thoughts of uncertainty were interrupted when he tiptoed into the room, obviously under the impression she was asleep, holding a tray of pancakes, orange juice, a cup of coffee, and a vase of fresh flowers. 

He stopped when he turned towards the bed, noticing her eyes peeking out from behind the fluffy duvet, and smiled softly, head tilting to the left as her asked her sweetly, “Morning, baby. Feelin’ any better today?”

This earned him a firm shake of her head as she sat up in the bed, lip pouted slightly to show him her discontent. He cooed, placing the tray of food in front of her on the bed, ensuring the legs of the miniature table were stable before he sat down on the other side of the bed, planting a soft kiss to her temple. 

“Don’t have to eat it all if you don’t want, honey, I just wanted to wake you up with something nice after you had such a horrible night.” He said, sitting cross-legged next to her on the bed. He pointed to two little white tablets that lay next to her orange juice. “Brought you some Panadol too, baby. Make sure you eat at least a little before you take it, don’t want you getting sick again, yeah?”

She nodded, “Thank you so much Matty,” She croaked, throat still sensitive from the acidic bile she’d thrown up in the night, “I’m sorry about last night.”

His eyebrows raised, face scrunching in disbelief as he tried to process what she’d just said. He moved closer to her on the bed, hand coming to rest on her knee above the blanket she’d wrapped herself in. 

“Sorry?” He tutted, shaking his head, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about baby, what'd you mean ‘sorry’?” His lips turned into a slight frown, disheartened at the fact that she felt the need to be sorry about being sick. 

“Ju-Just, you havin’ to stay up with me… I just feel a bit bad that I ruined our night, I guess,” She spoke sheepishly, noticing the disappointed look on his face as she spoke. 

“Oh sweetheart,” He cooed, moving to place the breakfast tray on the floor, before scooting close to her on the bed, pulling her into his chest, one hand rubbing her back in a light rhythm, the other combing through her hair. “You don’t have to say sorry, ‘kay? It’s my job to look after you. Don’t ever apologise for being sick, baby. It happens to everyone.” 

He felt her nod against his chest, and he stopped his fingers carding through her hair as she looked up at him, thinking twice about leaning up to kiss him as she realised she hadn’t brushed her teeth yet this morning.

Almost as if he was reading her mind, he shook his head, laughing to himself softly. 

“Baby, really?” He chuckled, brushing a little bit of sleep from her left eye with the soft pad of his thumb as he did so, “ You wanna kiss me, you can. I think we’re way beyond worrying about morning breath, don’t ya’ think, darlin’?”

She blushed, surprised that he could read her so well, shoving her face into the soft fabric of his white shirt, earning another chuckle from Matty, the sound rumbling in her mind and warming her insides, affecting her probably more than it should have given her in her ill state.

She detached from his chest, fishing the tray of food up off of the floor beside her, and placed it on the bed, before leaning into Matty again, his right arm wrapped around her as she picked at the sweet blueberries that decorated her pancakes.

She sighed contentedly, sipping on her orange juice as she lay, listening to Matty’s steady heartbeat as he sat beside her, twirling a lock of her hair around his finger lazily. She’d be lying if she said that this side of Matty didn’t turn her on, his need to comfort and protect her rising to the surface in a similar way as it did after he’d been particularly rough with her in bed. The idea of him taking care of her a particularly good one in her mind. 

She felt a familiar heat pooling between her thighs as she sat beside him, glancing up at him occasionally as he typed on his phone one-handed, most likely making note of lyrics he’d thought of, his brain constantly moving 100km an hour. She watched as his slender thumb glid smoothly across his screen, pressing the keyboard expertly.

‘This shouldn’t turn me on so much.’ She thought, biting her lip lightly as she shamelessly observed him, now sitting up further in the bed to gain a better view.

She blamed it on her period. Sure, Matty was hot, and, God, she’d fuck him 10 times a day if she had the stamina, lord knows he probably did, but getting turned on by typing? That’s pathetic.

Finally, he saw her out of the corner of his eye, lower lip between her teeth and cheeks a light red as she watched him. He raised an eyebrow, turned his head to face her quizzically.

“What are you looking at?” He smiled at her and she blushed, quickly averting her eyes to the half-eaten pancake in front of her, picking at it delicately.

He laughed softly, “Going shy on me, baby?” he asked, bringing the arm that was wrapped around her shoulder up to her hair, ruffling it playfully, before leaning down to press a firm kiss to her cheek.

She tucked herself deeper into his side, having once again discarded the tray of food onto Matty’s bedroom floor. He wrapped his arm around her once more, giving her a tight squeeze. 

“You okay, honey?” He asked softly, looking down at her as she lay on his chest, tracing her finger softly on the front of his t-shirt, “Feelin’ a bit clingy today? Is that it, huh?”

She nodded, moving impossibly closer to him, wrapping both her legs around his left, her arms wrapping around his bicep, clinging to him like a koala.

He chuckled softly at her, peering at her from the corner of his eye as he watched her cling to him desperately. His attention turned completely towards her however, when he heard a small whimper sound from next to him, at the same time as she’d fidgeted in her spot, causing her sensitive clit to lightly brush the side seam of his sweatpants through her thin sleep-shorts. 

His eyes shot down to her, fearing that she was having the same horrible cramps she experienced in the night. 

“You okay, baby? Tummy hurting again?” He asked, concern evident in his tone.

She was embarrassed, not wanting to admit that the sound was out of pleasure, not pain. So, she nodded, eyebrows creasing together as she looked up at him. 

It was insane how well he could read her. From the second they met, a couple of months before they’d started going out, it was like he could see into her mind and knew almost everything she thought and could anticipate what she was going to say next.

That’s why looking up at him was a huge mistake on her part. He knew as soon as he looked at her he knew that she was lying, and he thought he knew why.

“We’re not lying now, are we sweetheart?” He asked earnestly, looking into her eyes as he spoke. 

“W-what? Why would I lie?” She said, not expecting to be caught out so soon.

He raised his eyebrow at her, expecting her to have admitted her lie, “Oh, okay… so just now, when you wriggled around for a second, and I felt your cunt on my leg, it was just a coincidence that you made that little sound at the same time? Is that right?”

She flushed red, face turning to dig into his arm to hide, embarrassed at being read so easily, once again. She let out a muffled whine, annoyed both his teasing, and her horniness. 

He sat up from the bed, unlatching his arm from her grasp to face her.

“Baby,” He cooed, “want you to use your words when you feel like this, ‘kay? Want you to tell me what you want.” 

She nodded, still covering her flushed face, now with the duvet in place of his bicep.

“I just wanna make sure you’re feeling better after last night, honey. Don’t wanna hurt you or anything, y’know?” 

He looked torn. Torn between his restraint and not wanting to take advantage of her in such a vulnerable state, and his wanting to give her everything she wants on a whim. 

An idea popped into his head, and he stood from the bed, reaching down to peck a quick kiss to her forehead, muttering a ‘be right back’ before exiting the room.

She sat in his bed, awaiting his return as she sipped on the now lukewarm coffee he’d brought her. But it wasn’t very long before he came back, having discarded his shirt and sweats for reasons unbeknownst to her - though she wasn’t complaining, she could spend hours tracing the outlines of his tattoos - especially his ‘We Are Kings tattoo - whether that be with her eyes, fingertips, or tongue.

He walked over to her, boxer shorts hanging low on his hips, and flipped the duvet off her, reaching his hand out for her to take.

“C’mon baby,” He pulled her up, “ran us a bath.” He patted her on the bum softly as he walked past her and out into the hall. She followed dumbly, brain foggy from the tooth-rotting sweetness of their morning in bed together.

Stepping into the bathroom, she saw that not only had he drawn them both a bath, with bubbles in it, which she knew he didn’t like, but had meticulously placed candles around the edge of the bath.

She could’ve cried at the gesture, and she almost did, eyes growing blurry before she blinked the tears away quickly. 

Matty stepped into the bathroom behind her, kissing her on the side of her cheek, then neck, as he reached for the bottom of her (his) shirt, pulling it over her head softly, before tugging her pyjama shorts down. He helped her step into the warm bath, holding his hand out for her to balance on. Once she was in, and he’d made sure the water wasn’t too hot, he tugged his boxers down his legs before stepping into the bath himself, setting himself behind her so her back rested against his chest.

She sighed in content as he brought his large hands up to her shoulders, massaging her upper back soothingly. She leant her head back against his shoulder, Matty retracting his hands from her shoulders to wrap them around her, rubbing her arms up and down soothingly.

He lent down to kiss her on the cheek, instead meeting her lips as she quickly tilted her head to meet him. Meaning for it to be a quick peck, he was surprised when she deepened it, running her tongue along his bottom lip teasingly.

He pulled back, hand resting on her jaw as he guided her lips away. 

He sighed, “Baby… don’t make me be the bad guy,” he frowned, not wanting to tell her a strict no, but also not wanting to hurt her whilst she was in her particularly vulnerable state. 

“Please,” she pleaded, un-slotting her legs from between his beneath the bubbles to squeeze her thighs together desperately. 

He shook his head, shooting her a pleading look, “Honey, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself or to be sick again… I promise, once your period’s done I’ll do whatever you want me to, baby.”

She furrowed her brows in frustration, annoyed at his refusal. Of course, she couldn’t be that annoyed, he was only trying to ensure her comfort and safety, but this didn’t matter in her mind, not when she was this horny. What was she gonna do if he didn’t give in to her? Finger herself to no avail? They both knew that wouldn’t work, and she knew that Matty was the only one who could satiate the need in the pit of her belly.

She spun around in the bath, being careful not to spill any water out of the bath, before pushing away from him slightly to see him better. She huffed, whining “It’s not gonna hurt, promise.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, only now beginning to grasp just how desperate she was, watching as she crossed her legs, heeling digging against her clit harshly, causing her to hiss, wincing slightly at the sensitivity.

She sighed in frustration, pouting slightly as she looked at him with puppy dog eyes. 

“What if– what if I said it would make me feel better? I swear, baby, if it doesn’t feel good I’ll tell you to stop.” She pleaded, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. 

He eyed her carefully, thinking about it carefully. It couldn’t hurt to try, right?

He sighed, lips tugging into a smirk as he finally nodded, ushering for her to resume her previous position, between his legs, back pressed against him. 

He leant down to whisper in her ear, brushing some hair away from her face as he spoke, “Make sure you tell me the second it hurts even a little, okay darlin’?” 

She nodded, leaning her head back against his chest, lingering a soft kiss onto his chin. 

He traced his hands up and down her thighs beneath the water, her legs automatically widening like muscle memory. He laughed breathily in her ear at her eagerness, before sliding his right hand to her core, pressing light circles to her clit as he planted soft kisses along her neck, her having tilted it to the side to grant him further access. 

She moaned softly, bringing a hand up to play with the chocolate curls at the nape of his neck, tugging softly as he began to tease a finger around her entrance, keeping his slow rhythm on her clit. 

“Feel good, honey?” He spoke softly into her ear, not slowing his teasing motions, but not speeding up either. 

She nodded, brows furrowed as he slipped the tip of his index finger inside her. 

“Use your words, baby. Need to hear you say it, ‘kay?”

“F-feels good, Matty, promise.” She stuttered out, his fingers speeding up slightly on her clit for a millisecond, before it returned to its original speed. 

“Good girl,” he murmured in her ear, pushing his index finger into her cunt completely, her head slamming back to meet his chest as he curled it expertly.

Her hand that wasn’t occupied with Matty’s hair emerged from the water, where it had been gripping her thigh, and she placed it on her left boob, swiping her thumb over her nipple delicately and squeezing the soft, meaty flesh around it. 

She arched her back as Matty prodded a second finger into her, curling it as he had the first. As she arched further into his chest, she felt Matty’s hard cock against her back, and teasingly wriggled against it.

He groaned, fingers speeding up as they fucked in and out of her, his hand that was rubbing her clit now came up to brush her hair out of her face, before he flicked her right nipple playfully, ripping a guttural sound from the back of her throat as he returned his hand to her clit, rubbing fast circles over it with his middle and ring finger. 

He felt her cunt tighten around his fingers, thighs slamming together to stop his hands from retracting. 

He pressed his plush, pink, lips to her ear, pressing airy kisses along it as he breathed, “Gonna cum for me, baby? Yeah?” He felt her become impossibly right around his fingers, and she moaned loudly as he said, “Gonna feel so much better afterwards, baby. C’mon, give it to me.”

Matty fingers stilled inside her as she came, eyes squeezing closed and toes curling as the water in the bath sloshed around them, her loud moan echoing around the bathroom. He waited for her breathing to settle slightly before slowly pulling his fingers out, the water in the bath cleaning them off. 

She flipped herself over carefully, legs wobbling slightly  as she straddled his right leg, her boobs planted flat against his chest. She reached up, planting a soft kiss to his lips, whining softly against them as her clit grazed his leg when she pushed herself up. 

Pulling away from her lips, Matty tutted in faux annoyance, rolling his eyes playfully.

“Still not done, baby?” He asked, smoothing his hand over her hair and then resting it on her cheek as she looked up at him,

“No,” she confirmed, half-mooned, lidded eyes peering up at him. 

He sighed, “What am I gonna do with you, huh?” He asked playfully, “Too horny for your own good.” 

She whined as she shifted herself further up his body, his rock hard cock laying flat against her slit as it rested on his stomach. He lay back against the steeper end of the bath, hands on both hips, thumbs drawing shapes on her delicate skin. 

She wriggled her hips slightly, his cock bumping over her clit multiple times before she rose to her knees, almost slipping on the slippery bottom of the bath, luckily being caught by Matty’s large hands on her hips again. 

She laughed softly, looking up at him as she did so, seeing him biting his lip softly to keep in his laugh, the rumbling of his chest betraying him. She slapped his stomach playfully. 

“Hey!” She scolded, “Don’t laugh at me,” She said with a fake pout on her face. 

Matty cooed, laughter still rumbling in his chest as he spoke, “Aw, sorry honey, it's just, when I said I didn’t want you to get hurt, I didn’t mean slipping over in the bath and dying.” He giggled as he spoke, and she couldn’t help but grin at him, pouncing onto him to plant a sweet kiss to his lips, before pulling away.

Her brows furrowed and index finger pointed at him as she reprimanded him, trying her best to keep her face straight as she spoke, “Okay! No more laughing,” Her eyes narrowed at him accusingly, “back to sex.” 

He nodded stiffly, hand coming up to his head as he saluted her militarily, firmly repeating her previous statement. 

She giggled softly, lifting her leg up with help from Matty, before shifting herself on top of him completely, his hard cock trapped between her sticky cunt and his firm belly. She groaned as she rocked back and forth slowly, before pushing herself up slightly, grabbing the base of his cock, tapping it on her clit a few times before she pushed it into herself, sighing in content as she sunk down, the full feeling in her tummy satiating the desire she’d been holding there all day. 

He groaned softly, brows knitting together as she sunk all the way down onto his cock, her clit brushing against the groomed pubic hair at the base. His hands rested on her hips, rubbing shapes softly as he helped guide her up and down on his length. She was so tight around him, clamping down hard when he moved a hand from her hip down to rub her tender, puffy clit.

She moaned breathily, back arched and head thrown back as she bounced on his cock rapidly, water splashing around the bath and onto the floor. Her right hand rested on Matty’s ‘We are Kings’ tattoo, providing her with leverage to move quicker, and her left hand wrapped tightly around his wrist, nails digging into his Mortal Kombat tattoo as her orgasm approached her. 

Matty felt her hips faltering slightly, and her thighs began to shake, causing him to tighten his grip on her hips, holding her still as he slammed his hips up to meet hers. She whined loudly, his thick cock filling her completely, slamming against her cervix with every unyielding thrust. 

“Feelin’ good, baby? He asked breathily, panting slightly, his curls falling in his face, sticking to his slightly damp forehead.

She responded the only way she could through her foggy, fucked-out brain, squeezing his forearm impossibly tight and keening loudly, before her mouth fell open in a silent scream. 

He continued his relentless pace, bringing them both closer and closer to cumming. His brows knitted together in concentration as he tried to keep his pace consistent, but he was struggling. She was so fucking tight, squeezing him like she was afraid that if she didn’t, he’d somehow disappear. 

Thankfully, he could tell she was close, her lower lip pulled between her teeth and cheeks rosy, and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t had to hold his orgasm since the second he’d slipped into her. Something about his cock and her cunt fit so right, he could probably cum just at the thought of it. 

Matty looked up at her through the mess of wet curls in front of his eyes, “Need you to rub your clit for me now, ‘kay honey?”. 

She immediately obeyed, bringing the hand that was wrapped around his wrist to rub her clit at a harsh pace. She cried out, hand faltering slightly at the intense pressure building in her lower belly. 

She was so close, she just needed something, anything, to push her over the edge, and almost as though Matty read her mind, he leaned forward, attaching his mouth to her left breast, swirling his tongue around and biting lightly at her perked up nipple. 

The hand rubbing her clit and rapid hip movements halted as she felt Matty, whose head now rested on her shoulder, still inside her, groaning loudly as he came inside her, rope after rope of his sticky cum coating her walls. She wailed, eyes rolling back into her head as the tightness in her stomach finally released. She leaned forward to bite Matty’s shoulder softly, tears streaming down her cheeks at the intensity of both her orgasms. 

She slipped her arms out from between their chests, wrapping them tightly around Matty’s neck before pressing her head into his neck, sighing contently. 

Matty smiled softly against her, lifting the hand that still rested on her left hip to rub her back gently. 

“Water’s gone all cold, sweetheart,” He said, slightly muffled by the delicate skin of her shoulder.

She shrugged lazily in his arms, murmuring back a sweet, “M’cozy.”

“Y’cosy?” He bit back a soft laugh at her lovely voice, “Not gonna be so ‘cosy’ when you get a cold, honey.” He continued rubbing her back, cooing inwardly when he heart a soft sniffle beneath him. 

“How ‘bout this, baby, let me get out, and I’ll go get your clothes, get you nice and dry, and then we can go back to this exact position in my bed… That sound good?”

She nodded weakly against his chest, and that's exactly what they did. Quickly pulling on a new pair of sweats, he remembered he’d laid out some boxers and an old sweatshirt of his on the bed before he’d gotten in the bath, and he was particularly grateful for it now, grabbing the pile off the bed, and a towel warmed from the dryer, before speed-walking back to the bathroom. He knocked softly before walking in, wanting to be safer than sorry, and heard a soft hum from behind the door. A sign to enter, he assumed. 

Walking in, he saw that she was still in the exact position he’d left her in, knees tucked to her chest, with her chin rested against her knees. He cooed, putting her new clothes on the basin before helping her stand in the bath, opening the warm towel and wrapping it around her body, her hands poking out to keep it wrapped around herself as he scooped her up, setting her down to sit on the lid of the toilet. 

Grabbing the clothes off the basin, he slipped the soft grey sweater over her head, and pulled his boxers up her legs, pressing a kiss to her forehead once she was dressed. 

She murmured a ‘thank you’, to which he responded by kissing her again, this time on her lips, before picking her up again, placing a hand on her left knee, pushing it to wrap around his waist, before doing the same to her right. 

Keeping her steady with a hand on her bum, he walked the few steps to his bed as quickly as possible. He held her up with one hand as he used the other to pull back the covers, before carefully crawling into the bed, being sure not to disturbed her comfort in his arms as he did so. 

Wrapping the soft duvet around the both of them, he looked down at her to see her smiling up at him. He beamed back at her, dimples visible in his cheeks, before leaning down to press a soft kiss to her puffy lips. 

She sighed in content, pulling away from the kiss and resting her head on his shoulder again, nose nuzzling against the soft skin of his neck. He smiled to himself, before picking up his phone from the bedside table, checking his notifications quickly before he opened Instagram, scrolling aimlessly through his reels. He swiped upon a particularly funny minions meme, pushing air out of his nostrils in a half-laugh, before angling his phone down to show her. He looked down to watch her reaction, his favourite thing in the world being to see her laugh - it was automatically a great day for him whenever he was the one to coax a giggle from her - but instead saw she was asleep, lips parted slightly, and eyebrows relaxed. 

He smiled fondly down at her, using the arm she was laying on to rub soothingly up and down her arm. He clicked ‘Save’ on the meme, telling himself to remember to show her later, before he opened Safari, logging into Twitter, or ‘X’ now, - ‘so fucking stupid’ he thought - looking to see what fans had to say about their new show, ‘Still… at their very best.’

©trumanbluee - reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated! but i do not wish for my work to be republished, translated, or copied. thanks!

[god-has-entered-my-body]

Blurbs you say?? I am thinking thoughts… about matty’s dick in my mouth while he smokes a cigarette <3

This #unedited and sort of shit, but i promised myself to not to obsess over it too much. also i cant not post without a fancy title and banner bc im allergic soz xx

Go down - Matty Healy

A/N: im shit at blurbs, minors do not interact

wc: 1.5k

-

The door shuts with a loud bang, Mattys footsteps echoing through the foyer. Ridding himself of his jacket, chucking it onto the couch, he sits down next to it, an exasperated groan leaving his lips. His voice was sore, raspy from tonight's gig. Sold out, ten thousand people, all screaming the house down as Matty sang his heart out. Fans went wild as he unbuttoned his crisp white shirt, leaving all but one buttoned unfastened.

It still was, the fabric now wrinkled and slightly damp from the sweat, clinging to his body. It took everything in you to not jump onto him right at that moment, take him then and there. No, he was tired, eyes shutting as he rolled his head back, resting it onto the edge of the sofa. His voice was low as he spoke. 

“Darling?” you hum in acknowledgement, peeking your head around the corner, still trying to tow your shoes off. He waits for you to actually enter the room, a rough hand running through his gelled hair, tucking some of it behind his ear. 

“Could you pour me some wine?” Despite having been drinking the entire set, Matty always liked a healthy glass of wine when he got home, exhausted and missing your presence. Usually, you would take the time to talk about the show, what the stagehands had fucked up this time et cetera, et cetera. This time, however, you had other things on your mind, and, based on the way his eyes dragged up and down your body as you walked by, he did as well. 

You grab two glasses from the marble cupboard, setting them onto the counter. Pouring both of you a generous amount, you check yourself in the reflection of the microwave. Your hair was a bit messy, and your mascara was slightly smudged from dancing, but it didn't bother you.

“Thank you, love.” a grateful look spreads onto his face as he takes a glass from you, smiling. You place a chaste kiss on his lips, wiping a bit of dirt off his face with your free hand. Before you could even move to sit down, his hand wraps around your lower back, pulling you into an awkward kneeling position between his legs, the edge of the sofa digging into your knees. He kisses you like this, setting both your glasses onto a small table, freeing up both hands.

You shift, using his shoulders for leverage, lowering your body onto the floor in front of him. 

“What are you up to, mh?” he asks, his filthy smirk making your head spin. 

“Could ask you the same thing, undressing in front of an audience.” you mention his little display, thrusting up into air as he danced around, the screams of the crowd only spurring him on. He pretends to look offended, shaking his head in protest.

“It's art.” 

“It's insanely hot, is what it is.” you grin, hands settling right onto his belt. 

His breath hitches, breathing pattern slightly irregular as you look up at him through your eyelashes, blinking innocently. 

A quiet “Oh, fuck me.” leaves his lips, and he coughs, trying to remain composed. That proves more difficult than he thought, especially with you looking at him like that.

“Can I?” you ask, voice dripping like honey. The look on his face when you let things drag on like this was delicious, eyes drooping shut as he groaned your name. 

“Shoot me if i ever say no to that question, fucking hell.” That's all you need, your hands making quick work of the black leather belt in front of you, the sound of metal against metal so unbelievably erotic. 

Above you, you hear Matty shuffle, hands digging into the pockets of his suit jacket. Producing a pack of cigarettes, he sticks one between his lips, light not far behind. Something stirs in you when he lights it, the soft glow of the flame making him look even more attractive than he already was.  

He’s hard against the palm of your hand as you work the buttons of his trousers, pulling them down along with his black boxer-briefs. The cool air makes him groan, a cloud of smoke leaving his parted lips. The smell doesn't take long to fill your senses, so distinctly Matty. 

Not in the mood for a tease, his hand finds the thick locks of your hair, threading his fingers through it. Taking another drag of his cigarette, he watches you suck the tip of his cock into your mouth, moaning when the taste of him hit your tongue. 

He gathers your hair up into a makeshift ponytail, keeping it out of your face as you take him in, hollowing out your cheeks in that way that makes him lose his mind. 

His hand pushes your head down lightly, silently asking for permission. You let him, his cock brushing against the back of your throat, making your gag reflex kick in. Using a trick your friend had taught you back in highschool, you press your thumb between the rest of your fingers, trying to suppress it. 

Matty is shameless above you, moaning and groaning whenever you bobbed your head, incredibly pent up and desperate. 

Trying again, you let him guide himself deeper into your mouth, his sounds of encouragement spurring you on. 

“So fucking good, just- yeahh, thats it, fuck” his words go straight to your core, and you clench your thighs together, trying to relieve some of the aching pressure between your legs. 

Bobbing your head, you breathe through your nose, taking him as deep as you can without gagging, feeling him twitch in your mouth. His tip leaks salty precum onto your tongue, the smells of cigarettes the only thing you could concentrate on. You look up, your eyes meeting his right as he takes a drag, pushing your head down even further. Again, you sputter, but you don't get off.

“God, you’re so gorgeous, choking on my cock like this.” he groans, throwing his head back in pure ecstasy.

“Made for me, weren't you? Perfect mouth, shit.” his rambling lets you know he’s close, hips bucking up into your mouth, your tongue running over the vein on the underside of his cock, pulsing with need. 

Taking one last drag, he lets the finished cigarette fall onto the concrete floor behind the sofa, both hands now on your head, fucking his cock into your warm mouth. 

You moan around him, the vibrations sending curses falling from his lips, the sounds of his movements echoing through the living room. 

“I’m not gonna last, fucking- oh god.” he warns you, quickly pulling off him. Shaking your head, you raise your eyebrows at him and a small smile spreads onto your face. 

“When has that ever been an issue?” he laughs, brushing your hair out of your face sweetly. You rub your cheeks against his thigh, eyes set on his weeping erection, desperate for release. 

“Now, let me take care of you, okay?” he nods slowly, both his arms spread out on either side of him, letting you have full control. You dive back in, switching from kitten licking the tip to deepthroating him as far as you can go, his gasps of pleasure like music to your ears.

“Jesus, you‘re a fucking wet dream.” he moans, hips bucking uncontrollably as he spills onto your mouth, hot ropes of cum painting the back of your throat. His legs shake as you hold your head there, taking everything he gives you, the salty taste of him like heaven.

You stick out your tongue proudly, showing it completely clean. His hands grab your shoulders as fast as they can move, pulling you up and onto his lap. He kisses you, hard, tongue forcing its way into your mouth before you could even react. Groaning at the taste of himself on your tongue, his fingers wipe at your cheeks, rubbing off your mascara, which had started to stream down your face. 

“You're a temptress, you are.” he grins, kissing you again, softer this time. Rolling your eyes, you use your nails to scratch the back of his head, knowing how much he loved the sensation.  

“You didn't even try to resist.” you spit back, giggling at the speed at which he’d pulled you onto him, not even bothering to take his shoes off before plopping onto the sofa. 

“I didn't, did I?” 

[ughgoaway]

playing on my mind

content warnings: swearing, referring to Matty as tall (look we all lie for plot purposes okay), dilf Matty and rushed writing... i think that's it? word count- 3.3k ish

a/n: woah this was quick but I am nothing if not impulsive!! this is just a one-shot but if y'all want a series I might do one?? idk it depends on how inspired I am lol. but yes this is just my little blurb-thing from yesterday fleshed out into an actual story!! I'm so glad people liked the idea, I hope this doesn't disappoint <333

(I didn't proofread this so I apologise if its utterly shit </3)

“And off you go! If you need your pencils sharpened or help, make sure you raise your hand! I’ll come to see you!” You say to the group of 30 little balls of energy in front of you. 60 eyes looking up at you might seem intimidating to most, but when it's a hyperactive group of 5-year-olds; the fear wears off slightly.

It was family tree week in your classroom, and you had given your little ones the usual task of drawing their family, each set up with pieces of paper and various pencils and pens to create their masterpieces. Seeing them smile and talk about their older sisters and brothers or how much they love their parents always warmed your heart. 

You originally got into teaching with every intention of working with teenagers. You were sure you shouldn't be moulding such young minds - you were never sure your mind was a very good example. But one test week in a year 1 classroom changed your outlook entirely. Seeing the pure, unadulterated joy on a young child's face was something beyond comparison. 

Getting to watch them grow and develop into little people brought you so much happiness that it could never compare to standing in front of a group of grumpy teenagers. Each teen boy clearly trying to get you over to their desk to “flirt” with you, well as much firting as a 15-year-old boy can do.

Seeing a child come out of their shell, make friendships, and discover their passions made your heart warm in a way nothing else did. So as soon as you qualified you jumped at the opportunity to teach these little ones, this class might be your first but you are sure it will always be your favourite.

And of course, despite what every teacher tells you, they have a favourite student. You were adamant when you began that you really wouldn't have a favourite but then little Annie Healy came bounding into your classroom with a mop of curly hair, untamable energy and the cutest slightly wonky smile you've ever seen. 

She very quickly stole your heart, always wanting to tell you stories and going off on tangents rather quickly, organising tea parties but soon getting distracted leaving you at a small table surrounded by teddy bears giving a toast. Her little body seemed to be filled with enough energy to power the world 3 times over, and you couldn't love her anymore. The idea that she would be leaving your class broke your heart every time you thought about it, despite people telling you not to get attached - you did,

You had just settled at your desk after explaining for the 4th time to Zach that sticking pencils up our noses isn't a very good idea. You ended up telling him if he pushed too far, he'd touch his brain, and soon after that, the pencils stayed firmly in his hand rather than up any nose. If any student was the problem child, it was him. You couldn't hate any student, but let's just say he's given you one too many impromptu haircuts this year to be in line for your favourite.

Soon your real favourite student stuck her arm into the air and wiggled it around in an attempt to get you to see her sooner, little Annie Healy was ever impatient- a trait that is only endearing on her. You quickly nodded and started wandering over, trying not to laugh at her large toothy grin back at you.

“Hi sweetheart, do you need some help?” you say, crouching down to her eye level, flashing a sweet smile.

“Hi miss y/n!” she began, her eyes flittering around your face before landing on your hair, and soon, her hands were stroking your head.

“Wow! I like your hair! It's got sparkly clips in it! You know I asked my daddy for some like that, and he said-” you gently placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to stop the tangent before it started. You knew she'd somehow end up keeping you there for 20 minutes, giving you a detailed list of all of her Barbie dolls and their jobs if you didn't redirect her quickly enough.

“Thank you, Annie! I saw your arm wiggling in the air earlier. Did you need some help?” her eyes light up as she remembered why she called you over here.

“Oh! Yeah, I want to write what's in my daddy’s hands, but I don't know how to spell it. Will you help me?” she says, bringing her attention back to her drawing and grabbing the black pencil to continue her work. It's the first time you actually looked at her drawing, and to say you were concerned would be an understatement.

Most drawings of family consist of the same basic elements; a mum, a dad, a sun in the corner, and a house that is wildly disproportionate to everything else.

So imagine your surprise when you look down to see 4 men in what seems to be leather jackets, holding various musical instruments, and a very tall dog next to them.

You blink a few times. Just checking what you're seeing is right. The lineup starts with a tall man holding a guitar, next to a slightly shorter man also holding a guitar with a mess of black scribbles on his head. Next up is a very tall man with drumsticks in his hands and a kit behind him, and finally another very tall man with a beard and a bass. The concern briefly melts away as you consider how impressive it is she knows the difference. In the bottom left corner is a black dog with very long legs and a big pink tongue sticking out, the dog was almost as tall as the first man but you're aware kids aren’t known for their skill with proportion.

No one had prepared you for this in teaching school, there was never a lecture about what to do if one of your kids does a mildly troubling family drawing of 4 men in leather jackets and a horse dog. You try to stutter a response to Annie, but no real words are leaving your mouth. Just a jumble of sounds, each one sounding more confused and stressed than the last.

You flash a look at her only to be met with a confused head tilt and sad eyes. Oh god. She thought you hated her drawing. Shit.

Time for damage control.

You make the decision then and there not to ask her about the details of her drawing, desperately trying not to make her cry. 

Maybe you could go and see her mum in the playground? Yes, that's what you'll do. You'll walk her out, have a brief discussion with Mum, and make sure Annie knows her family isn't 4 men in a band and then leave her be. That sounds like the professional thing to do.

You take a deep breath and smile at Annie, and soon her downturned lips flashed that cheesy grin you knew so well. You tighten your hand on her shoulder and grab a pen, ready to help her any way she needs. 

“Do you mean the word ‘guitar’ Annie?” she gives you an excited nod as you continue speaking, “Ah yes, that's a really hard word for even grown-ups to spell. Let's work it out together, hmm?”

With your mind racing you help her sound it out and label her drawing, even stopping to sharpen her black colouring pencil for her- there's a lot of black for young girls drawing but she's committed to an aesthetic, and part of you respects that.

On the walk back to the desk, you begin practising your speech in your head, trying to figure out how to ask why she’s drawing a band as her family without unknowingly offending mum. Maybe she just really likes music?

You run through your memories trying to think of her mentioning a band before, but nothing comes to mind, Annie doesn't even stay on track long enough to talk about her family. Always seeing something shiny and discussing that instead. 

You flick your eyes to her one more time just to see her animatedly talking with another little girl on her table, her hands gesticulating wildly and her curls bouncing as she tells her story.

The sight calms you slightly, seeing the little girl you know so well acting exactly as she should be. You have the fleeting thought that you might be overreacting, but eventually, you collect the drawings to see Annie had dated her work “1975”. Yup, that discussion with her parents was definitely happening.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bell rings, and you manage to catch Annie just before she runs off into the playground without you, “Hi Annie! I have your drawing from today. Should we show it to mummy and daddy together?” her eyes light up as her curls bounce from her excited nods. 

You walk hand in hand out onto the playground, crouching down you make eye contact with Annie before asking, “Can you point out your mum or dad Annie?”

She nods and begins scanning the playground. You stifle a laugh at the look of concentration on the young girl's face. Her nose is scrunched along with her eyebrows, one hand pulling at a curl by her ear and the other holding yours. Soon, you see her face brighten, and her eyes fill with joy. 

“DADDY!!” is the scream that comes from the little girl as her hand shoots from her head to point to the corner of the playground, she starts dragging you before you even look up but as you do, you feel your heart drop.

As a student teacher, you'd definitely seen some hot dads, but they were still dads. Most were slightly creepy, partially balding, and talked about nothing but golf and their “annoying” wives. You were used to that kind of dad, not exactly this kind.

Standing nonchalantly in the corner of the playground was a tall man. A pile of salt and pepper curls sat on top of his head; untamed but effortlessly and obnoxiously cool. The white t-shirt he was wearing did nothing to hide the patchwork of tattoos that snaked up his arms. The low neck of the top even teased the top of his chest tattoo. Sunglasses sat on his face, they gave him an "I'm too cool" rocker vibe that, for some unknown reason, made you dizzy.

In one hand, he had a lit cigarette, something that was not allowed on school property, but the way his cheeks hollowed as he took a drag had you forgetting that rule completely. He dropped the butt of the cigarette to crush it with his heavy boots before taking a sip of the can of coke that was in his other hand. 

As he noticed you coming over, a dazzling smile broke out on his face. You felt your knees weaken as you tried to brush off how hot he was. 

You then realised you actually had to speak to this man. Fuck. You're not sure you even have a voice currently. If you opened your mouth, you're sure incoherent noises would come out, followed by wild hand motions trying to explain your insane behaviour.

The closer you got, the less you stared at him, feeling too intimidated to keep looking in his direction. This did mean you almost tripped 3 times, but you would rather fall than risk making eye contact with this intimidatingly attractive man.

Annie dropped your hand as you finally reached the man, and she jumped into his arms. He grunted at the force but soon began pressing kisses all over her face, smiling at her uncontrollable giggles.

Quickly, the man noticed your presence and stuck a hand out to introduce himself, “Hi! Sorry about that, you know what it's like when kids miss you. I’m Annie’s dad, Matty.” 

And this is where a normal person would introduce themselves, stick their hand out, and shake Matty’s. Maybe even say their name and start talking, but oh no. Not you. You stood there motionless and just said “Matty” breathlessly to yourself 3 times over.

Time dragged on in the 10 seconds Matty stood there with his hand out. If you weren't aware of how time worked, you would swear you stood there in stilted silence for 10 minutes. 

By some grace of god, little Annie Healy saved you and introduced you, “Daddy. This is Miss y/n. She wanted to come and show you my drawing." 

Matty retracted his hand and pushed the sunglasses that sat on the bridge of his nose up to his mess of curls, just as wayward as his daughters. His deep brown eyes met yours as he tilted his head questioningly at your behaviour. His smile remained wide at you, his tongue swiped over his bottom lip, and you felt your heart stutter. A litany of inappropriate thoughts swirling through your mind.

He quickly diverted his attention back to his daughter, “Oh really munchkin? Is your drawing just that amazing? Is Miss y/n going to send it to all the museums?” he said whilst tickling her sides. You smiled at the pair of them watching Annie throw her head back with erratic laughter. 

Finally, you manage to right yourself and begin speaking, “Right. Sorry about that, long day,” you explain, looking apologetically at Matty, who only nodded and tried to hide his widening smile at your flustered state. 

“I'm just here to talk about Annie's drawing,” you pause briefly and look at Annie in her dad's arms. Not wanting to disappoint her, you form a plan in your mind. “Hey Annie, why don't you go practise some hopscotch! I'm just going to have a quick chat with your dad, okay?”

Before you’d even finished your sentence, Annie was wiggling out of her dad's arms and running off.

“She's got endless energy that one hasn't she?” you say wistfully, staring off in the direction she ran, watching her jump around and giggle with some of her friends.

“Ah like father like daughter, I suppose” Matty says, grinning at your clear love for his little girl. He feels his heart warm at your caring eyes. “So what seems to be the issue? I'm sure you're not over here because the Louvre has asked for Annie’s drawing?” 

You laugh at Matty's joke, perhaps a little too hard. Nervous laughter was one of your less attractive traits, but you try to shake it off and have an actual adult conversation with Matty. 

“Ah no, no phone calls from Paris yet,” you begin laughing lightly, you pull out Annie's drawing and pass it over to Matty and start to analyse his reaction as you finish speaking, “I was just coming over to ask why Annie's family portrait is seemingly a band? I wanted to make sure she knows her family isn't 4 tall men in leather jackets and a surprisingly tall horse dog.”

As you finish your sentence, Matty bursts out in hysterical laughter, folding over as his chortling laughter takes over his whole body. Your face scrunches up at his reaction, your eyebrows are pinched, and a small frown overtakes your features. 

Eventually, Matty catches his breath and looks up at you only to realise how strange his reaction appears. His hand shoots up to your arm and begins to stroke it lightly as he attempts to explain himself.

Each featherlight stroke of his fingers made your breath hitch. You felt your eyes fogging over, and your ears felt as if they were stuffed with cotton wool, the surrounding sounds suddenly becoming muted.

A shake of your head brought you back to earth as you fought to focus on the words Matty was saying.

“Oh I'm so sorry, once you know the story you’ll understand my reaction” Matty began explaining with wide apologetic eyes, “basically Annie's mum isn't in the picture, it's just me and my 3 best friends,” he said smiling.

You lightly laugh and say, “Ah I'm assuming they are the man with the guitar, the one with the bass and the other with the drumsticks?” You finish with a teasing tilt of your head.

Matty's fingers encircle your wrist as that smile you've quickly grown to love appears on his face once again at your teasing.

“Yes those are the ones. You see we’re all in a band - hence all the instruments. I always tell Annie that Uncle George, Ross, and Adam are our family. So when you asked for a family drawing...”

“She drew her family!” You finish his sentence for him, staring at his hand and holding your wrist as you do. He quickly drops it, and you curse yourself for bringing it to his attention.

You wrap your arms around your stomach protectively in an attempt to hide your mounting embarrassment.

Matty smiles and starts to speak again, only to be interrupted by you, “Wait I understand that, but why did she date it ‘1975’?”

Somehow, Matty's smile grew again, “Our band is called the 1975. Weird, I know, but it comes from me being young and pretentious with a Jack Kerouac book.”

Before you could respond, Annie came bounding over and wrapped herself around her dad's leg, “Dadddd” she complained, pulling out the last letter to announce her annoyance to the world.

“Annieeee” Matty teased back in the same tone as her, picking her up as he did.

“Can we go home now? I want to see mayhem!!” she said, excitedly clapping her hands as she finished.

You shoot Matty a questioning look, and he quickly answers your silent query, “the horse dog” he says teasingly, parroting your earlier words back at you.

“Okay darling, let's get going then,” Matty says with a grunt, putting Annie down, grabbing her hand, and taking her backpack from her.

“Say bye to miss y/n Annie,” he says, smiling sweetly at you, but you can see the mischief brewing in his eyes.

His eyes keep your attention so long you almost miss Annie's sweet goodbye, “bye miss y/n! See you tomorrow! Can we talk about your sparkly clips tomorrow?” she asks with a tilt of her head.

“Of course, little miss Annie!” You say smiling at the young girl. You focus solely on her in an attempt not to get lost in her father's eyes again.

You watch them walk away but after a few steps they pause, Matty turns over his shoulder and waves with his free hand, “Bye miss y/n” he says with a teasing lilt to his voice and a flirty wink.

Before you can even process what just happened, he's strolling away casually, and all the mums in the playground are silently lusting after him.

A heavy breath leaves your chest as you start to watch him leave.

“Isn't he gorgeous” a voice behind you whispers, causing you to jump and let out a small scream. You hold a hand to your chest and look at your colleague with wild eyes.

“Oh my god, Amanda, please do not sneak up on me like that! I'm fragile” you say, now laughing at your ridiculous reaction.

“Sorry, sorry,” she begins giggling, “but isn't he just so hot? Annie was in my class last year, and I used to count down the days until parent’s evening! I mean, who wouldn't want to sit across a desk from a man who looks like that?” Amanda says, wiggling her eyebrows flirtatiously.

She begins to teasingly poke your sides at your awkward silence, and you quickly brush her off and straighten up, “Amanda! You can't talk like that about a parent!” You say, trying and failing to have any conviction in your voice.

“I can when the parent looks like that!” she says, smiling and watching Matty stroll away.

You huff at her behaviour and walk away, desperate to sit down and process what just happened.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your desk chair squeaks as you sit down behind your desk. You spin the chair and pick up a pen to begin marking some spelling tests from last week, but before long, you give up.

Staring off into space with endless thoughts poisoning your mind, only one thing can come out of your mouth. 

“fuck."

[floras-imagination]

guitar hands 🎸✌️- matty healy x reader

summary: You can no longer hide the longing obsession for your best friend matty's hands... word count: 3.8k warnings: 18+ smut, fingering authors note: It's been ages since I've written a fanfiction, so this one might be a bit rusty. I hope you enjoy it, though.❤️ Part 2

"I can't do this anymore!", you gasped as your best friend Matty opened the door.

You walked in quickly as he opened his mouth, to greet you, but you cut him off before he could say anything, leaving him standing in the doorway, staring at you in surprise.

"I will never date anyone ever again!", you turned around, looking at a very confused Matty who was still holding the doorknob in his hands.

You pointed your index finger in the air to emphasize your words, "And this time I really mean it, so don't you dare laughing!", you frowned furiously in his direction, in a way that Matty finds terribly cute. It's a facial expression you often make when you're mad and Matty can't ever hide his little smirk when he sees you like that. But this usually makes you even angrier, which Matty doesn't mind because, obviously, he loves it.

Sometimes he even teases you a little bit to see that fuming, adorable glance of yours. But he always chooses his words carefully to make sure he doesn't hurt you with anything he says.

You threw your black bag in the corner before plopping down on the couch in his living room, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Still frowning, you focused your eyes on the floor in front of you.

He closed the door and slowly made his way over to the couch. His hair was messy and a few strands of his curls hung over his forehead. He looked a bit drowsy, like he'd just woken up from a nap.

"Well... hello, love.", it was finally his turn to speak. His voice sounded low and sleepy.

He rubbed his left eye, before placing the palm of his hand on his cheek, "It's nice to see you...", he continued.

You didn't say anything.

He sat down beside you, admiring you with a big smirk on his face. Suddenly, he seemed less and less tired. You could literally see the sleepiness leaving his body as his smirk grew wider and wider. In his head, he counted down the seconds, well aware that his silly smile was going to drive you nuts in less than five seconds. One, two, three, four...

"What?" you spat at him, turning your head to your right to face him. "Can you please stop doing that?" you asked, finally relaxing the muscles of your forehead.

"Doing what?" he giggled back at you. The "what" sounded more like a "wha". You've always had a weakness for his strong British accent. Hearing Matty talk gave you a weird feeling inside your lower belly, a feeling you've been trying to ignore ever since you first noticed it.

Matty and you had been best friends since year 9. You met him on your first day of school, just a few days after you and your family had moved from New York to Manchester. After the teacher introduced you to the class, Matty offered to give you a tour of the school. You were extremely grateful to have such a friendly classmate as Matty, and the fear of spending every break alone promptly vanished as he never left your side during breaks, welcoming you into his circle of friends.

You must admit you found him attractive, and he became even more appealing over the years. But he never made any moves that could suggest he wanted more than friendship, so you kept convincing yourself that this wasn't what you wanted either. You somewhat accustomed yourself to the idea of never getting closer to him, which made it easier to live with your hidden feelings. It has been ten years now, and sometimes you were so adept at denying your feelings that you even started to believe the lies you told yourself. In the meantime, you also had a few boyfriends and situationships where you completely forgot about your feelings for Matty due to being preoccupied.

Sadly, each of your relationships turned out to be exceedingly toxic, which made it difficult for you to focus on anything else. You constantly worried about not being enough or being too much. Days without arguments and tears were extremely rare, but Matty was always there for you.

"Oh come on, you know what I mean"

He was about to say something again, but you didn't let him.

"Looking at me like that when I'm mad. It's not funny, Matty! This is a serious situation!"

"A serious situation? Oh, okay. Well, you already said that a few weeks ago, when you came home from your date with that other bloke... Wait, what was his name again?", he paused for a moment as he touched his chin, looking up at the ceiling, pretending to think. After two seconds he gave up, because he really didn't remember the boy's name.

About 10 months ago, your boyfriend of two years broke up with you. It was a tough time for you, but Matty had been incredibly supportive. He let you sleep at his place on nights when you didn't want to be alone, which was almost every night for about a month and a half after the breakup. You cried a lot, and your best friend held you throughout the entire night, calming you down and making sure you had someone to talk to. The two of you shared a few restless nights during which neither of you got much sleep. However, cuddling was nothing new or special since you've been doing this ever since you became close friends. Matty has always craved cuddles from you, especially during movie nights or casual hangouts. You didn't read too much into it, presuming it's a normal thing best mates tend to do, but little did you know that he's been hiding his feelings as well...

When you eventually started to feel a bit better, Matty encouraged you to download some dating apps because he said something like 'the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.' That's also how the singer tried to get over his crush on you. He hooked up with numerous girls over the past years, desperately trying to feel something similar to the affection he feels in your presence, yet each trial remained unsuccessful.

You decided to give his advice a shot, and it was actually an excellent way to distract yourself from your aching heart. Though you didn't have much luck with your dates, you were at least able to get over your ridiculous ex.

"Anyway," he shrugged, "It doesn't matter."

"I don't remember his name either," you said dryly, still not averting your gaze from his face. Matty immediately turned his head to the left, now looking into your eyes as both of you burst into heavy, heartfelt laughter.

"Come here, darling..." he laughed, raising his left arm to pull you into a lovingly sweet hug.

He loved having you around and spending intimate and funny moments like this one with you. Seeing you heartbroken and sad broke his heart into a million little pieces. Lately, he's been struggling a lot with his self-control, not knowing how much longer he'll be able to keep his longing feelings for you a secret.

As you lay in his embrace, head resting on his soft, comfy chest, he snuggled his nose into your freshly washed hair, which smelled like a huge field of spring flowers.

"You wanna tell me what happened?" he mumbled against your head.

You were now completely relaxed, feeling happy in the lovely arms of your friend. "The date was horrible," you laughed, starting to tell your story. "We met up for dinner, and he was talking about himself the whole time! How he goes to the gym every single day... and it was just gym, gym, gym... and then he asked me if I did any sports, and I said no, and then he was talking some kind of bullshit again... but I wasn't even listening anymore at this point," you tittered before continuing, "Then I wanted to order some ice cream for dessert, and then he told me how unhealthy sugar was..." you couldn't stop yourself from laughing.

"No, really?" Matty laughed, still holding you tight. "What did you say then?"

"Nothing. I just grabbed my bag and left."

Matty threw his head back, roaring in laughter. "This is my girl. I'm proud of you," he breathed heavily. "I have ice cream in the freezer. You want some?"

You immediately jumped up at his words. "Yes! Please!"

He got up from the couch, preparing you a bowl of ice cream in the kitchen.

He strolled back to the living room, carrying the cold bowl in his hands. You found yourself lost in your thoughts, admiring his large, delicate fingers. You called them guitar hands, since you've seen plenty of other guitarists having these kinds of hands, but Matty's have been your favourite. The mere thought of his agile fingers touching your neck or thighs caused shivers, leaving your whole body covered with goosebumps. In your dreams, you imagined them slowly unbuttoning your jeans, gently sliding into your panties to...

You briefly shook your head, forcing the end of this forbidden daydream, after staring at Matty like you've just seen a ghost.

"Are you alright?" he questioned, throwing a rather puzzled glance at you.

"Hm...what?" you uttered, shaking your head once again. "Yeah, yes, I'm fine. I was just... nevermind," a slight chuckle left your lips, masking the huge amount of shame you felt.

"Honestly, why was I even mad?" you snickered, trying to change the topic as he handed you your much-needed dessert. "This is just so hilarious. But anyway, I meant what I said earlier. I won't go on any more dates," you licked the spoon delightfully, "I'm done. From now on, I'm going to enjoy my single era alone."

For a very brief moment, a smutty thought crossed Matty's mind as he saw your tongue gliding over the back of the spoon you held in your small, soft hand. He pushed the thought away quickly.

"Whatever makes you happy, love. I'm just glad you're finally over your ex. You were too good for him. You deserve so much more than that," he declared, fantasizing about being the man by your side, knowing you well enough to meet all your unique needs.

"Yes, I know. I don't know what I saw in him," you agreed. "But let's just forget about it, please."

He smiled, pulling you into his arms to place a peck on the side of your head. The Netflix logo popped up on the big flat screen in front of you as Matty turned on the TV. "You wanna stay with me tonight?" he asked his best friend needily, in a romantic, cuddly mood. It had been a long time since your last sleepover, and he was desperate to have you near.

Your right cheek was already pressed against Matty's chest as you were sleepily nestled in his hug, mumbling your answer "Guess you already took that decision for me, didn't you?"

"Yep," he stated, resting his head on yours. Though he couldn't imagine anything better than lying there with the one person he loved, his gracious smile was tinged with melancholy, as he couldn't shake the doubt that you would never reciprocate the depth of his feelings.

--------------------------

You found yourself waking up alone in the soft embrace of Matty's bed, the night still cloaking the world outside. With a sleepy sigh, you shifted beneath the covers to get up. The door stood slightly ajar and the enchanting sound of a guitar drifted into the moonlit room.

You opened the door, following the echoing noise of music that came from the living room. Matty was sat on the couch with a guitar on his lap, wearing his blue nike sweater. His messy curls tangled all over his forehead, making him look so effortlessly handsome in the gloomy warm light of the fairy lights hanging from the bookshelf.

He was so deeply focused in playing, he didn't even notice you already stood in the living room. Seizing the moment, you took the opportunity to observe him, particularly captivated by the way his hands deftly fingered the chords on the guitar, moving with such grace as if they were dancing in silent harmony with the music.

He looked up to see you standing in front of him, adoring your dozy appearence as he stopped strumming the strings of the guitar.

"Morning, sleepyhead", he greeted you in the usual flirtatious way. "I couldn't sleep. Wanted to work a bit on that new song. Was it too loud?"

"No, it's fine. It sounds good. Can I listen?"

"Course you can. Sit down", he demanded with a grin on his face as he continued playing.

You loved the sound of Matty's new song and even though you tried your best to concentrate on the rythm of the music, you couldn't help yourself from staring at his hands again. The way his fingers nimbly glided over the fretboard, made you think about all the other things these supple hands could do to you. A sinking feeling of guiltful embarassement was spreading inside your stomach. You hated having these lustrous thoughts while sitting in front your best friend.

While you were still submerged in your shameful thoughts, Matty slowly emerged from the trance he typically falls into when he plays the guitar. His gaze drifted over to you, curious about what you were thinking about the new piece. He observed you for a moment until he realized you were absentmindedly fixated on his left hand.

Recalling a similar situation from earlier that day, he recognized the same expression on your face as when he had brought you the bowl of ice cream.

He stopped playing, causing you to look at his eyes as your consciousness returned. "Is anything wrong with my hands?"

"What? No, why?", you raised an eyebrow, snickering nervously. "What could be wrong with your hands?"

"You've been staring at my hands again!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. When did I stare at your hands?"

"Well, just now? And earlier when I gave you the ice-cream?"

"I haven't!"

"You have! And it's not the first time I caught you doing that..."

"I was just wondering which chords you used", you declared, visibly annoyed.

"You're such a bad liar."

"No, it's true!", you tried to defend yourself.

"Ah, so you were staring? "

"I wasn't!", your voice grew louder and louder. You weren't angry at him but at yourself for not being careful enough. What if he finds out about the feelings you'd been trying so hard to hide all these years? What if your friendship ended right now, right here, in this night? The enormous weight of fear and sadness settled like a lump in your throat, making it hard to swallow. You had to swallow though, since you already felt tears coming up that needed to be hidden at all cost. It was impossible for you to gulp without making a noise as the lump of woe was already way too big to be swallowed in secret.

"Gaslighting...", Matty teased in a lighthearted manner instead of being serious or mad. He knew he was right, especially now that you seemed so offended by his question.

"Okay, that's enough. I'll go home", without hesitation you bolted upright from the couch.

Matty immediately reacted by grabbing your wrist with his right hand, while still seated on the couch, holding the neck of the guitar with his left one. You turned around to face him as he was looking deep inside of your eyes. Contrary to your expectation he was still far from being furious. You caught a glimpse of him still holding the D chord as your eyes darted around. His thumb rested on the e string, tightly gripping the guitar's neck.

"It's quarter past midnight. You're not going anywhere", he stated with a slight chuckle, his playful demeanor both infuriating and comforting you. He endeavored to soothe your frayed nerves, but his touch and gaze left you feeling uncomfortably giddy, leaving you unable to think straight. You swallowed hard, meeting his piercing stare.

As Matty's intense gaze locked onto yours, he felt the floodgates of longing burst open within him. No longer did he bother to conceal his desire.

'Now or never', he thought to himself, 'do it, you muppet!'

With another firm grip on your wrist, he summoned up all his courage, guiding you towards him with a sudden movement as he finally crushed his lips onto yours. After years and years of dreaming about this exact moment, it now became reality. And it felt even better than both of you could have ever imagined. Setting the guitar aside, he placed it to his left on the couch, drawing you closer. Pressing you gently against the cushions, he positioned his body on top of yours, eagerly seeking your lips again.

In the next thirty minutes you were having your long awaited make out session, filled with lots of wet and fiery kisses along with tender, passionate touches.

No words required, Matty was overjoyed and now well aware of the fact that you returned what he felt for you. Even though Matty didn't mention a single word, you knew it too.

"I love you so much, baby", he confessed, right before he started to work his way down your neck, placing gentle kisses on your soft skin, "I've been meaning to do this for ages"

"I love you too, Matty", you whispered, still not knowing if you were awake or dreaming.

As he was passionately devouring you, he could feel your body trembling while lust was written all over your face.

"I didn't expect you to have such a dirty mind, though.", he smirked against your neck.

"What do you mean?", your voice was shaking.

"You haven't answered my question yet"

"Which question?"

"Why you're so obsessed with my hands...",

"Matty please...", you whined.

"What?", he asked as his lips were still clung to your neck, "Tell me what you want me to do with my hands"

You gulped as feelings of overwhelming embarrassment came flooding over you again.

He slowly moved his hand from your back over your chest, sliding it down your belly, causing you to shiver even more. He stopped at the button of your jeans, resting his hand on your waist as he peeked up to lock his gaze with yours. With fluttering eyes you glanced down at him, wondering why he stopped. The intense craving for having his fingers inside of you became unbearable.

While Matty was grinning from ear to ear, finding pleasure in torturing you with his teasing touches, he raised an eyebrow at you.

"Please, Matty... I...", you stuttered, still not being able to speak properly.

"Tell me, love"

"I...", your words came out as a faint whisper, "I need you. Matty, please..."

"Where?", he whispered back at you.

"Inside me...", you finally gave him the words he wanted to hear, not caring about another wave of shame that was crashing all over you.

Not waisting any more time, he unzipped your jeans, slowly making his way into your slip. By the time his soft fingers reached your clit, you closed your eyes, throwing your head back in deep pleasure. A heavy moan left your mouth, as you were electrified by his heavenly touch that you've been craving so desperately.

"No, no, no, no, no!", he complained, "I want you to look at me."

The inability to move made it impossible for you to follow his command.

He tightened the grip between your legs as he repeated his order, "I said look at me!"

Continuing his teasing game, Matty was about to pull his hand back out of your pants, due to your disobedience, but you immediately stopped him by grabbing his hand to keep it in place. "What are you doing?", you questioned, wanting him to continue what he started.

"Uhm.. pulling my hand out.", he answered casually with a shrug, pretending it wasn't part of his little game. His plan worked out immediately when you looked at him with that cute, furious frown on your face.

"No! Why?", you protested.

Matty leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear, sending shivers down your spine as he whispered "Because only good girls deserve to be fingered by Matty Healy."

"But..."

"And you aren't one", he gently pecked the skin of your neck again.

"I am", you moaned in response to his soft kisses.

"Don't think so. If you were, you'd do what I say"

"Please Matty stop teasing me now! I can't take it any longer"

"Hmm... seems like someone's being really needy...", he kept on playing with you, "will you be a good girl for me now?"

"Yes, Matty. Yes, I will", you answered impatiently.

"Then look at me.", he said as he carefully put his hand back between your legs and this time you were following his command, being the good girl he asked you to be, though it was definitely not easy for you to keep eye contact with him.

"Now you are being a good girl. I want you to keep looking at me, okay? Will you do that for me, darling?"

You nodded in response, "Hm... yes."

All of a sudden he pushed his middlefinger inside you, causing a loud moan from you.

"That's what you were thinking about when you watched me play guitar, isn't it?", he gently whispered in your ear.

"Maybe...", you admitted between your lusty moans.

"I knew it.", he smirked, "Couldn't quite believe it though..."

"Hmm..", you hummed as he continued his skillful work with his fingers, beaming you into another dimension of reality.

While listening to your ravishing moans he kept on talking, "My best friend is a dirty slut. Unbelievable. But I'd be lying if I said i didn't think about you every time I wanked.", he winked at you with a dirty smile, roughly jabbing another finger inside your dripping wet pussy.

"Matty, I... I think I...", you stammered, having difficulties to breathe.

"Yes baby, cum for me, please", he permitted, but you were already collapsing in heated pleasure as you eventually broke the eye contact, letting your head fall onto his chest, gasping for air.

With his free arm, he hugged you, pressing your body tightly to his own. He gave you some time to calm down while you were catching your breath, before he slowly pulled out his fingers, bringing them up to your mouth, so you could lick them clean. "If that was part of your phantasies too...then...", he shook his head with a radiant smile on his face while you seemingly enjoyed sucking your juice from his elegant guitar hands, "...like... who are you? And what have you done to my best friend?"

"Shut up, Healy!", you laughed after letting go of his fingers, "and cuddle me!"

You snuggled yourself into his loving embrace, but Matty had other plans....

"Nah... later, love.", he told you with hungry eyes, "I'm not done with you yet."

Part 2

[alovesreading]

Chicken Shop Date | Part 8 |

By @imagine-that-100​​​ and @alovesreading​​​

Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.

Word Count: 28.6k

A/N: Hey besties!! We’re back and this one’s another fun one for you! We were reminiscing about the UK tour writing this one, giving those good days a CSD twist and we hope you enjoy it loads. It was so much fun to write the shit everyone would get up to on the road, but can you believe this one was meant to be the end of this series? Mentalllllllll. Please make sure to check out the author’s note at the end of this as it’s an important one. Thanks for reading! Enjoy! xx

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | 

| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |

~*~*~*~ 14th January ~*~*~*~

“Baby please.”

The begging has been going on for about half an hour. It’s come and gone in waves but Matty’s getting more and more desperate and more persistent.

“Please baby, please.” Matty pouts, looking pained now, “I need you.”

You raise your eyebrows at him, in yet another way of questioning him. His arms are tight around your waist, not letting you move from straddling his lap because he thinks that will be how he gets his way.

“You’re being so needy.” You smirk, shaking your head, not giving in to his pitiful pleas.

“Please, please, please.” He looks like he could start crying and it takes everything in you not to laugh. You try and push yourself up off him but he grips your hips even tighter, not letting you move an inch away.

“Matty.” You sigh, your hands resting on his shoulders as you tell him, “I can’t.”

“You can.” Matty changes tactics then and leans in and kisses his way up your neck until he’s whispering in your ear, “Please baby, I really want you to come.”

“No,” You grab a handful of his curls then and pull him back so you can look at him and say, “I can’t come on tour with you Matty.”

Your boyfriend whines, “But you said before I even asked the question that you don’t have anything planned until you go to Copenhagen in February. And you’re coming to half the fucking dates anyway. Please.”

“I will be in the way.” You shake your head.

He promises, “You won’t!”

“Matty, I would be like a spare part, not to mention your tour bus would be full to the brim if I tagged along.” You shake your head, not seeing at all how he could change your mind.

“You wouldn’t,” He frowns, silently scorning you for thinking like that before a hint of a grin comes to his face as he says, “And you’d be sleeping in my bunk, with me.”

“That's going to be so comfy,” You roll your eyes, “Two tall people in a coffin sized bunk for more than two weeks.”

“Thanks for admitting I’m tall baby, but listen.” He looks all proud of himself for his height for a second before he goes into getting his points across again, “We’re in hotels in Cardiff and back home for Manchester so it’s only like a week on the bus really.”

“The bus isn’t the issue Matty.” You sigh, giving him the honest answer, “The issue is I’ll be in the way, feeling useless.”

The bunk wouldn’t be an issue for you at all. You both practically sit on each other's lap when you’re with no other company anyway so sharing a small bed will be the least of your worries. You just know that you’ll feel useless and that you’re a hindrance to things running smoothly.

“Charli’s coming,” Matty raises his eyebrows, “You saying she’s useless?”

“She has musical value.” Your excuses fall easily from your lips, but you can’t help but smile at the way he’s begging, “Can’t you just be happy with me coming to the dates I’m already coming to. You’ll see me every five days.”

“So there's absolutely no reason you can’t see me for the other four in between.” Matty acts playfully annoyed, saying that through his teeth before he leans in to kiss you. “Besides, you really think you’re coming to the gig and then I just leave you that night? Absolutely not… I have needs.”

“You have my Instagram.” You backchat and Matty groans loudly.

There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips as he says, “Whilst I love that you put your Golden Globes dress on there for me to wank to Y/N, I’d prefer it if you were just there to wank me off instead.”

“So romantic.” You snort in laughter.

“Please, you’re obsessed with me and my boys and my music.” Matty pouts with absolutely no dignity left, “And I’m obsessed with you. Please come on tour with me?”

“You’re right, I am obsessed with you,” You smile, kissing his nose to combat the bad news you’re about to give him, “But no, I’m not coming on tour, and that’s that.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

So, Matty persuaded you to come on tour.

It ended up being as easy as him teasing an orgasm out of you, followed later by three phone calls. The first to Amelia, where he asked for proof that you were free - which you were - and then asked if he could steal her best friend away to join him on tour, and Amelia only laughed but didn’t hesitate at all to say of course.

The second call was to his manager Jamie. Where Matty asked Jamie to explicitly tell you how it was not an issue if you came along, and he even said that you could help their photographer Jordan put together a few social media posts if you really wanted something to do. But you were welcome to come along regardless and that the 1975 family would be lucky to have you.

And the third call was to the queen of pop herself, Miss Charli XCX. And it was Charli who really made you agree to joining them as she pleaded with you to tag along. She jokes how she can’t be the only groupie to come along on tour with them (Carly apparently didn’t count) and if you’re really honest, you just can’t say no to Charli at all. It feels wrong to, so after ten minutes of her and Matty giving you their best arguments, you gave in and agreed to join them.

That evening you and Matty went over to your flat where you packed a large suitcase full of everything you could need, and the next day you were on the tour bus with them heading on the rest of their UK tour. And god, you were so glad you agreed to join them.

There’s never a dull moment in that tour bus, it’s either the lads managing to make everyone laugh with their random occurrences, sharing spliffs turning into funny stories being aired for everyone to laugh at or games that end up in the same interesting way they started as.

Being around for soundcheck felt like you’d won some kind of prize. A glimpse into how it all works is so entertaining for you, not to mention them singing to an empty arena that pretty much just has you, Charli, and Carly in it is so much fun.

There have been so many times that you’ve caught yourself just staring up at them on stage and being in awe all over again. But Matty can’t help but find you so entertaining, you’re either singing loudly along at the barrier before Charli pulls you to dance with her, and he is smiling the whole way through what he usually finds boring and inconvenient.

Matty has absolutely adored having you come along on tour. Your presence alone makes him so much more joyful, and everyone who was present for the beginning of the tour has seen the difference. He feels more himself, more alive, and so much happier. And it’s all down to you.

The boring moments on the tour bus, you made them so much better for him. The hours he had to sit with his vocal steamer on, it made it so much nicer when you were lying with your head in his lap or his in yours. You’d both play with each other's hair, listen to music, and now and again chat to each other and the others. But Matty couldn’t stop grinning the whole time.

Even during the first few performances when you were somewhere lost in the crowd and he couldn’t find you, still you made your presence known to him. The first time it was just accidental though, you had written him a note as everyone was discussing the setlist and you’d slipped it into his pocket as a joke thinking he would notice and check.

Matty, however, hadn’t noticed your sleight of hand in the green room and he later found the note when he reached into his pocket half way through the Being Funny section of the set. He pulled out the crumpled up piece of paper and opened it on stage, accidentally laughing down the microphone when he read your words.

I’m trying this again: play antichrist x Pretty, please xx Picture me pouting at you, how can you say no to that? xoxox

The singer was well aware the crowd of people were confused about the note that they could see on the screens, and his laughter, but all Matty did was pocket the note again (fully intending to keep it) and grab his guitar and start playing the chords to I’m In Love With You.

The next day he caught you putting another note in his pocket but he kept quiet, wanting to read it on stage again as a little reminder of you to look forward too during his set. And it's again before he’s due to play I’m In Love With You that his hand dips into his pocket and he finds the note.

He’s smiling instantly, expecting it to be another note pleading for Antichrist, but instead this one is a little different, yet still entirely you.

I need a hug and six months of sleep x (maybe a kiss too)

When he laughs at this one, he hears George ask what's so funny through his in-ears but he elects to ignore him. Once again just picking up his guitar and singing the entirety of I’m In Love With You with a huge grin on his face.

The 3rd time it’s Cardiff night 2 and when he reads the note that night he knows you’ve done it on purpose. You’re a fucking menace who loves to tease him even when you’re not in his presence. As that night the note read:

You better think of me on that settee x

He didn’t laugh that night, no instead his dick twitched and he was reminded about your morning in the hotel and how you were both interrupted before anything could happen (you fell straight asleep as soon as you got in bed the night before) and you had been subtly teasing him all day. Whispering things in his ear, leaving longing touches on him knowing he couldn’t react how he would if the two of you were alone, and then the note.

He didn’t need you to explicitly instruct him to think of you during consumption, as he always did anyway. But this time he put a little more effort into his performance, hoping to tease you a little in the crowd.

And tease you he did. That night you watched as he teased himself on screen, smoking and letting his hands trail down his body until he squeezed himself through his trousers, and your mouth went dry with want when he simulated pulling on someone's hair. On your hair.

Needless to say that when you got back to the hotel room that night, you were on your back almost instantly, Matty’s head dipping between your thighs until you were on the verge of coming undone on his tongue. But he edged you time and time again until you were whimpering, pleading for him to fuck you like no one else could.

It was lucky you were spending another night at the hotel really because Matty doesn’t know what he would have done if you were both stuck not being able to find any relief until another two days' time when you were due in Glasgow. Thankfully he didn’t have to find out. You both alleviated the tension between you that night and again the following morning before you all returned to the bus to start the long drive up to Glasgow on their off day.

The journey wasn’t so bad, you got to have a good laugh with the band, especially loving the time you got to spend with Adam and Carly’s little boy. You got to play with him when he wasn’t down for a nap and Matty loved every second of seeing you and his nephew interact.

You remember that afternoon, Carly had just changed the baby after he woke up from his nap and she’d let you have him. One of your favourite things to do with him was sit him down on your lap and read him one of his little books he had and let him blabber on and on as he tried to copy the words you were saying. But he had started crying in the middle of you trying to get him to say ‘orange’ and you couldn’t find a reason for why he was so upset.

Uncle Matty had come to the rescue and got him from you, and it was when he picked him up that he realised he needed another change, so you went with him to change the baby’s nappy.

It was going so well, you distracting baby Hann keeping him happy and calm as Matty changed him, but Matty made the awful mistake of letting him hold the baby powder. It was once he splayed out the new nappy under him, the baby waved his arms happily at the freedom, Matty had been bathed in talcum powder.

Matty immediately froze, face and hair covered in white, his top had a few streaks of white powder sticking to it and baby Hann had managed to get some on his little chest and arm but he had giggled loudly with you when you cackled at the situation.

Blowing harshly to get rid of the talcum off his lips, Matty huffed out a soft, “I didn’t know it was open.” which amused you even more, doubling over in laughter but taking away the powder bottle from the baby’s hands so he wouldn’t continue making a mess.

Your boyfriend loved to pride himself in doing everything right so you’d taken the mishap to tease him a bit, “Uncle Matty struggling for once, who would’ve thought?”

He’d only rolled his eyes at you, and you watched out of the corner of your eye how he rubbed the powder off himself as you wiped it off the baby and finished changing his nappy.

When you’d gone back to the lounge with everyone and placed a happy again baby Hann on your lap and continued trying to get him to say the names to different fruits, you found him looking at you with adoring eyes.

But not even the sparkle in his eye would make you forget what had happened, so, letting the baby speak gibberish as he harshly pointed at the banana on the book’s page, you turned to Matty and sighed, “I wish I had taken a picture.”

His smile had fallen and he glared at you before rolling his eyes to chat back sarcastically, “I’m sure you do.”

And the rest of the day you had made a joke of ruffling his hair swearing there was some more talcum powder left. The last time you do this, he ends up telling you it’s just his grey hairs and you exaggerate a gasp, pretending like you’ve just now realised.

“Right, I forgot you’re an actual grandad.” You sucked air through your teeth like the fact was making you wince.

But then he went all cute when he flipped it around by reminding you, “And you’re a grandma so it’s meant to be, really.”

A chuckle was your response, which died quickly when he pressed his lips on yours to kiss you sweetly, half to shut you up and half because he’d been dying to for the past few minutes.

That afternoon, both of you ended up catching some alone time, which was really nice when you’re on a bus with sixteen other people. You’re in the back lounge listening to one of your many playlists, both with an AirPod in each ear and lying on the back settee with Matty behind you while you’re watching as the world goes by as you travel further north.

You’re sitting between Matty’s legs, your back against his chest and you both occasionally catch yourselves singing or humming along to the music. Matty wouldn’t change the scenario for the world, he gets to lie there with you against him, kissing the top of your head whenever he feels like, and he absentmindedly plays with the end of your hair.

The singer doesn’t even mind when one of his songs starts up, he finds it amusing that you have absolutely no shame with it being on there. And knowing now that it’s one of your new favourites he even loves hearing you softly sing along.

“Do you think that I’ve forgotten?” You quietly sing, “Do you think that I’ve forgotten? Do you think that I’ve forgotten, about you?”

Hearing that though makes Matty frown, and he waits until you sing it again as confirmation. His biggest fan in the world and now also his girlfriend, has got the lyrics wrong.

He’s trying not to laugh when he gets your attention, “Baby?”

“Yeah.” You ask, tilting your head back a little to look up at him.

He looks really pretty with the way the dimming light is hitting his face through the window. His skin is like it's glowing with the way the sun shines on him, and you find yourself thinking you’re so lucky again especially with the way he’s smiling at you.

Matty can’t help but smirk, “You know you’re getting the lyrics to that wrong, right?”

“No I’m not.” Instantly you frown up at him, entirely defensive.

“Yes,” Matty tries not to laugh, “You are.”

Your frown deepens, your whole face scrunching up as you ask, “Which bit?”

“The main bit,” He tells you, “Do you think I have forgotten… you’re singing ‘do you think that I've forgotten’.”

“They’re the lyrics.” You nod, looking at him like he’s stupid.

He can’t stop himself from chuckling, “No they’re not, baby.”

“Yeah, they are,” You nod, sitting up a little and turning to look at him properly, “I’ve been singing that since the album dropped.”

“Y/N,” Matty grins, entirely amused by you not believing him, “I wrote the song, I think I know the lyrics.”

At that you scoff, “You literally tell people that they are brave for getting lyrics tattooed because you have a tendency for changing them.”

You have a point there to be fair. So Matty just nods down to your phone and tells you to, “Listen to the song again then if you don’t believe me.”

So you do, you start About You again and when you really listen to the lyrics, the little shit might be right. But you’re not having it still, and your denial only makes this even funner to Matty.

You huff when the song ends, still frowning, “As soon as this bus stops we’re going to HMV so I can buy a CD or a vinyl or something so I can see the lyrics.”

“Baby.” Matty says knowingly, whilst grinning like a fool.

“No,” But you’re not having it, “I don’t believe it until I see it officially in the lyrics in the album.”

“Y/N,” Your boyfriend tries to remind you, “I literally wrote the song.”

“And yet I don't trust you even a little bit.” You say, getting yourself up and giving him a snarky smile before you pinch the airpod out of his ear and head back to the others in the main lounge.

On your way you can hear Matty laughing but he doesn’t say anything when he enters the room a moment later. All that he does is grin, knowing he’s right for once, and the grin stays on his face for another hour until you’re pulling him off the bus and into the bustling city centre.

You had to be quick, getting your shoes and coats on and into an anonymous enough state that you wouldn’t be recognised. Well, mostly Matty, hip putting his hood up instantly wrapping himself up in his big coat with sunglasses on as the light was starting to disappear. You did feel like an idiot when he put sunglasses on you too, but then he reminded you that you were keeping your relationship out of everyone else's business for now so he even pulled up your hood too.

You were on a mission to reach HMV before it closed and thankfully you got there with about 20 minutes to spare. It was nice walking hand in hand with Matty though, and chatting about what was going on around you and all the stuff that you liked that you saw in different shop windows.

Matty tried to suggest you go in and have a look before everything closes but you pulled him along with you until you were inside HMV and had a CD of Being Funny In A Foreign Language in your hands. Your boyfriend finds you adorable when you had a grin on your face when you picked it up, as if it wasn’t going to be on the shelf. He can’t help but smile at you.

But his smile falls from his face when you walk up to the A section and pick up a copy of AM and tell him, “I’m going to get Flo to get him to sign it for me.”

Matty just shakes his head and pulls you along to the till, wanting more time wandering around while the shops were still open. Once you handed over the CDs, thankfully Matty managed not to let you pay for them as he beat you to getting his phone on the card machine, something which you scorned him for until you were out of the shop and he shut you up with a kiss.

With the rest of the evening free, you and Matty ended up having an impromptu date. You ended up walking to the Cineworld which wasn’t a far walk and you ended up going to watch M3GAN as there weren't many other good options. This you thankfully ended up paying for, much to Matty’s dismay, but you reminded him that you said you would be paying on the next date so you got your drinks and popcorn too.

Both of you sat in the back corner where you happily remained undetected by anyone and Matty couldn’t stop smiling at the fact he got to hold your hand for the entirety of the film. Even if the film was mediocre at best, he was glad he got to chuckle away with it with you by his side.

Only when you both made it back to the bus just after 10:30, did you find that it was just Adam, Carly, and baby still on board, as everyone else had gone out drinking. They were watching a film in the back lounge so you and Matty just said a quick hello before keeping to yourselves.

There was a quick conversation about possibly going to join the others but Matty didn’t want to. He selfishly wanted you all to himself for a while longer. It's when you get your shit out of your bag that you notice the CDs that until now have remained untouched. You pull Being Funny out with a smile and turn to your boyfriend who’s already noticed what you have and is smirking at you, waiting expectantly.

You’re eager to wipe that look from his face so you sit down beside him and carefully take the CD out of the sleeve it comes in and you pick out the lyrics sheet. Finding About You is easy but then your world crumbles, you’re wrong.

Do you think I have forgotten about you?

Matty cackles when your face falls and you just silently fold the sheet back up and slip it back beside the CD with a look of defeat on your face. Your boyfriend pulls you into him and you fall into his chest as you stubbornly stay rigid in his arms.

He giggles, “I told you so.”

You push yourself out of his grasp, jokingly keeping the annoyed facade going and you push the cd into his chest as you get up, “You can sign it now for that comment, dick.”

“Aw,” Matty coos and throws the CD to the table. He jokes as he wraps his arms around you, still wanting to laugh, “Knew you were only with me to make money on Ebay.”

“Got that right.” You nod and Matty just cackles as he places kisses on your cheeks.

The following night in Glasgow when soundchecking, Matty pulled you onto the stage with him as he sang the correct version of About You, and he pulled you around the ‘house’ with him. And you pretending not to be impressed lasted about 10 seconds because you just ended up grinning and singing along the entire time.

Even more so when he had you kneel down on the floor in front of the table and he stood on it and reached down with his microphone to put it against your chin, exactly like he did to the girl in the Robbers music video. Needless to say, you got all flustered but you played your part anyway, even sticking your tongue out like the girl did in the video and Matty let his fingers dance across your tongue for a second.

When you knelt back on your ankles, so you could sing along with Polly, Matty then got down and sat on the edge of the table and he slowly leant in to kiss you. “Having fun?” He mouthed and you gently nodded until his lips took yours. It felt magical kissing him on stage, especially because you knew it all felt a little bit meta with it looking exactly like the Robbers video as he was singing the follow up to it.

That night on stage at the actual show, your note made Matty laugh, reminding him of yesterday with the talcum powder incident with his nephew.

Greys looking beautiful tonight grandad x

The Glasgow crowd was great, you loved every single second of being in that crowd. You spent a bit of your time with Jordan that night, going to different places with him and watching him take pictures from afar before you ultimately made yourself at home in the pit.

You thought that this being your 6th show, you would have somehow found it less painful to leave the pit during Give Yourself A Try, but it’s not. It still pains you each time you do it, but thankfully you can still hear it when you disappear off to head backstage with Jamie.

It ends up being an hour and a half before you end up back on the bus, and that night you were heading straight down to Manchester. Somewhere you’re really eager to go because you’d only been a handful of times and you really didn’t know the ins and outs of the city like Matty does, so when he promised you a tour you got really excited at the thought. You couldn’t wait till tomorrow to get there.

But it was that night on the bus when you needed to squeeze out of the bunk to get yourself a drink that you noticed your tote from the previous day was folded up on the table. You grab it, intending to put it in the mesh pocket of yours and Mattys bunk so you don’t lose it, but instead you feel CDs. And that’s when you remember your purchases.

You take them out, smiling when you see AM, knowing Flo will find it funny that you bought it. But it’s when you see Being Funny that you’re a little shocked and your heart doubles in size.

Never for a second did you think Matty would actually sign the CD for you, but he did sign his name in the top right hand corner with three kisses underneath it. But it’s what he’s written on the left side that has you melting.

// Be A Riot //

It’s then that you know that the man who wrote that for you is probably the most special person in your life, as even though it may seem like such a simple lyric to write, it means so much more. You fully allow yourself to give in to every little happiness he brings you from that moment on, and it starts with you going back to your bunk and plastering hundreds of kisses across his face before you settle down and whisper to each other just how obsessed you are and falling asleep in each other's arms.

~*~*~*~ 20th January ~*~*~*~

Manchester is so much fun, especially with Matty by your side. He really is the best tour guide, and he had been everywhere else you’d been, but he seems to come alive in his hometown.

He holds your hand the entire time, both of you dressed in your disguises so no one spots you wondering around the day of their gig. It made you giggle at the amount of people in 1975 tops that you passed but thankfully Matty evaded detection.

You felt like you were watching your boyfriend's Zane Lowe interview all over again because Matty took you around the same places the video showed. But it was so much fun with Matty explaining to you properly and in detail the shit that he and the boys got up to when they were younger.

First he takes you around the Northern Quarter, he shows you the square of bars that will be heaving later on that night and he shows you the spot where he wrote The City back in the day and you don’t even try and hide your smile from him.

Going to Afflecks and seeing their poster up on the wall surrounded by so many other posters of musical legends fills your heart and you can’t help yourself taking a quick picture of it to keep for yourself.

You were gutted you couldn’t take a picture with it but when you look up the stairs to the right and you catch a glimpse of a photo booth, you almost drag Matty upstairs with you so you can freely take a picture together without risking getting caught.

He’s faster than you when he pays for the pictures once you’re inside and the curtain’s drawn, and you both quickly put your hoods down and take off your sunglasses so that you don’t take pictures in your disguises.

At first you think 6 poses is going to be a job for you to come up with in less than 5 seconds in between pictures but your boyfriend makes you giggle so much that it comes natural when you mess about in front of the camera.

Matty’s cute though, cupping your jaw and giving you a sweet kiss for the last one and when you see them all printed, you melt in his arms. He steals one last kiss as you finish getting yourselves back into your disguises and you make sure to carefully put the photo strips away before you walk out of the booth.

Before you have to go back to the venue for soundcheck, he takes you to Gorilla and when you get there he tells you what he has planned for the gig they’re going to have there.

He nonchalantly says, “We’re doing all of self titled.” and you gasp loudly in response.

“What?!” Is the only thing you can say after that information has been dumped on you.

Matty chuckles in amusement, “Yeah… Thought you’d like that news.”

“Not when I have a trip to Copenhagen planned for Amelia’s Birthday!” You hide your face in your hands and take a deep breath before asking, “Deluxe version or just the regular version?”

“What happens if I say deluxe…” Matty taunts you with a smirk, but when you drop your hands and glare at him very seriously, he presses his lips together not to laugh.

“You better not.” It’s all you warn him with, even the thought of that happening makes you sick.

He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest, dropping a kiss on your cheek and then one on the corner of your mouth and right before he can trap your lips in a sweet kiss, he whispers, “The regular version.”

You allow yourself to melt into him for a bit, but when his tongue teases your bottom lip, you pull away to make him suffer a bit for what you’re going to miss soon. Your hand comes up to his cheek and you pat it softly, “It better be.”

Going back to the venue was a bit more hectic than you expected, you had to be very careful with not getting caught by the big queue of fans lining up outside the venue for the show. But once inside, thanks to Mark and Scott being the absolute best, being around everyone again is a relief. A newfound sense of familiarity that you’re growing to cherish, therefore you’re dreading the end of tour in only 10 days.

When you walk out to watch the lads on stage and you see Charli up there with them, George guiding her into the house through the door and showing her the way around, your jaw drops.

“Are you the surprise tonight?!” You ask loudly, your hand hovering over your mouth in shock.

Charli offers you a smirk and nods, “Yes baby!”

You squeal in excitement, and watch as she quickly rehearses what her entrance will be like. She puts on a little show for you as she sings a few scattered lines of Vroom Vroom into a microphone that doesn’t play through the speakers. Of course she couldn’t soundcheck properly so that no one could hear and ruin the surprise, but she trusted that it would go smoothly when the time came for her to walk in on stage.

Carly, Charli and you are standing against the barricade fence after your pop star friend has finished her brief rehearsal and you watch the lads soundcheck with a big smile on your faces.

Their banter makes you all laugh, and you all join in taking the piss of each other here and there. When your boyfriend taps his trouser’s pocket with his brows raised, you know it’s his silent way to ask about getting a note tonight and you wink at him in response. A cute blush rises on his cheeks and his voice grows sweeter when he starts singing the chorus to Oh Caroline when he’s instructed through his in-ears.

Your note makes him giggle as he flushes from head to toe, he can feel his cheeks warm and that feeling you give him envelops him entirely. A bubble of happiness bursts inside him and it coats every inch of him, all because you said…

Obsessed with you x

He sings with a bit more intent after that. The fact that it’s Manchester they’re playing in and that he wants to impress you even more, makes for his voice to come out beautifully sultry and you’re left in awe hearing him come to life on stage.

Like you expected, Amelia was shocked to the core when you facetime her with the little bit of signal you get as Charli is about to walk on stage, and you all but scream the lyrics out along with the pop queen and the rest of the crowd.

After that the gig just kept getting better though. Your boyfriend got a Greggs sausage roll thrown at him and he was giggling as he picked it up and took a bite and then spat it out. It certainly gave everyone a laugh, the band included, and they continued their set.

When the gig finishes and you head back to the greenroom, Matty comes all sweaty to you and traps you in a hug that then turns to him wrapping an arm around your waist and using his other hand to cup your jaw and pull you in for a dizzying kiss.

“Obsessed with you too.” Matty says once he pulls back, his forehead pressed against yours and nudging your nose with his in a cute eskimo kiss.

He feels as you scrunch up your nose and you lean in for another quick kiss, humming into it as a sign of approval. You don’t think you’ll ever grow tired of hearing him say those words to you, it always manages to make you putty in his hands.

Drinking with everyone and enjoying the wave of energy after the show is so fulfilling every time. An excuse to celebrate the band’s talent and their continuous delivery on a great show. So it’s easy to let time fly by as you do: cracking jokes, laughing at the guys’ occurrences, sharing their funny views of the crowd, talking about how mental it had gotten when Charli came out.

Soon enough it’s time to leave the venue but you’re surprised when you get to the bus and your boyfriend tells you to get your stuff because you’re staying somewhere else tonight.

You were expecting a hotel room to be the destination but when you sit in the back of the Uber Matty has ordered, he tells you with a massive grin that the plan for tonight is, “We’re staying at Denise’s.”

Matty doesn’t miss the way your face lights up at the news and he feels your heating cheeks when you hide your face in the crook of his neck with a soft squeal of excitement only he hears.

It takes about half an hour to get to Denise’s house so when you walk through the front door, you find her half asleep waiting for you to get there. She greets you sweetly, this time remembering your name instead of calling you ‘chicken nugget date girl’, and only after a few minutes of small talk she excuses herself to go to bed.

Lincoln isn’t far behind her, making everyone a brew before he goes upstairs to join his wife who’s probably already asleep despite him making her a cup of tea too. Louis chats with the both of you a little more before he calls it a night too.

Your boyfriend doesn’t waste more time after his family leaves to drag you upstairs, promising he’d show you around tomorrow. He was also knackered and he had wanted to have you all to himself for ages now, so it’s very quick that you find yourself walking into his childhood bedroom and smiling at the glimpse into a younger Matty’s mind.

You look at the pictures he has on the walls, of the four boys among other friends who he went to school with or met at various parties. You spotted Flo in a few of them too and it’s so adorable to you that you get a glimpse into the people they used to be.

You were smiling and asking questions about them all, even telling Matty that a photobooth picture of him and Flo from when they clearly first got together was cute. You like that he hasn’t shut off that part of his life and the picture is still up, because after all his experiences have made him into the man who he is today.

Matty smiles at the memory of it but he just takes the photobooth picture that the two of you took today and puts it up in a free spot on his wall. That warms your heart deeply, you can’t stop grinning as the both of you then get settled.

The singer jumps on his bed, flopping down on it and you giggle watching his hair flying everywhere and eventually coming to rest almost over his eyes. Matty just lets out a long sigh, clearly loving the feeling of lying on a proper bed again and you must admit you can’t wait to join him.

Matty makes no effort to get himself undressed, other than kicking off his shoes and socks and pulling his tie even looser. Instead he watches you, not even bothering to hide how much he’s grinning as he watches you make yourself at home in his room.

His grin only gets bigger when he watches you get undressed and he mutters under his breath how fucking good you look which just makes you flush a little but you choose to mostly ignore him and instead ask for one of his tops. He points over to a drawer where he knows there will be some and he smiles watching as you pull out his Revelation Records original bold top and slip it on.

You finish changing and come to sit down on his bed, grabbing your skincare stuff and start blindly applying it to yourself. That is until Matty exaggeratedly coughs a few times clearly expectantly as he wants you to do his too like you’ve been doing every night you’ve been away.

He’s all smiles as you rub the various creams into his face, even kissing the palm of your hand and then over the tattoo on your wrist followed by a small thank you when you finish. After that though he puckers his lips at you, and you giggle as you scooch down the bed and get comfy enough to kiss him how he wants.

Your heart feels very full, being in your boyfriends childhood bedroom, kissing him goodnight after he’s put on an excellent hometown show, with only the warm light of his bedside lamp letting you see just how big his smile gets. It’s really difficult for your heart not to stretch to a certain place too early, but you love everything about this new relationship despite only being in it for such a short amount of time.

But with him kissing you so sweetly, how he always does, and him pulling you into him so you’ve got practically no space between you, it’s not a shock he always makes your heart stutter. You love getting lost kissing him, it’s certainly a favourite pastime of yours.

And you love the feeling of your fingers tangled in his hair, how he clutches you tighter when you do to his curls and the groans he lets out when you pull on them.

You do just that and just like you were expecting, his mouth hangs open for a second when he lets out a groan. You can’t help the giggle that escapes you, giddy from the affection and the realisation of how you’re growing to anticipate his actions.

The sound of your bubbly laugh lights up a spark inside him. The walls of the dam that contains all that he feels for you burst and it all comes pouring hot and sticky, melting his insides and flipping a switch that makes him eager to translate the mess of his emotions into something you can understand.

He presses your lips a bit harder then, hips bucking forward and pressing in between your parted legs which has you gasping. Your tongues meet and taste each other when he catches his chance to do so, fingers digging into your skin as his hold grows with intention.

Matty doesn’t want to let you go. He doesn’t think he ever will.

But he won’t get ahead of himself. He wants to make you feel good, like you do to him with just your presence, with the simple sweetness of your laughter, the warmth of your touch, your silly jokes at his expense. He could go on and on, every day adding a new thing to the list.

In your head, a very different train of thought is going on. You’re entirely too aware of where you are and who is in the same space as you, so feeling him getting increasingly eager about getting off with you, you have to be the one to cut things before they move past a point of no return.

“Matty.” You smile, knowing where this road leads and it’s not somewhere the both of you can go in his childhood bedroom.

“Mmmh.” He hums against your lips, keeping them against yours not wanting to stop kissing you at all.

You repeat yourself, “Matty,” this time hoping he takes the hint.

He reluctantly pulls away, quickly asking, “What?” as he pecks your lips a few more times.

You’re grinning as you tell him with knowing eyes, “Calm down.”

But that makes your boyfriend frown a little, “What’s wrong?”

“We’re in your Mum's house.” You remind him, almost finding it funny he forgot, “She'll hear us. Your whole family will hear us.”

“No they won’t.” Matty shakes his head, knowing he’s not been caught out before so he doesn’t expect he will now. “Relax, I wanna make you feel good baby.”

“Matty.” You try to reason with him, still not entirely sold on the idea.

The sheer embarrassment of Denise knowing you’ve shagged her son in her house a mere 20 days after first getting with him is something you don’t think you could ever live down. You’re aware she’s a legend and a lovely person so she would probably never comment on it even if she did hear you, but you don't know if you could handle the embarrassment of being looked at with knowing eyes.

“Come on, I know you can bite those pretty lips to stop yourself being loud.” Matty grins, dragging his thumb over your already puffy bottom lip. “Can you do that for me baby?”

Instinctively you nod, always wanting to be good for him, but then you realise what you’ve just agreed to, “But-”

Matty’s already chuckling at you giving in and then catching yourself. As soon as he sees that nod of yours he moves his hand from your hip to between your legs and feels that you’ve soaked through your underwear which makes his jaw lock and your ‘but’ catch in your throat and whine.

Your boyfriend starts drawing circles over your clit through your underwear and if he didn’t have the confirmation of what you want already, the buck of your hips into his hand certainly gave it to him. And Matty can’t fucking wait to have you unravel underneath him again, he’s dying to at this point.

Your boyfriend kisses you sweetly again as if he’s not already doing anything sinful, “You gonna let me make you feel good?”

You nod a little in his hold, “Yeah.” pleasure already creeping its way up your spine.

“Good girl.” He smirks before kissing you deeply once more, before pulling away and telling you to, “Relax.”

But there's only so much relaxing you can do when a man is kissing his way down your body, heading to where you want him desperately.

Your boyfriend teases you beyond belief, that sinful tongue of his licking up your already soaked underwear just to make you choke on your breath and bite your bottom lip harder before he decides he wants to play with you a little more. After pulling your underwear off, you expect him to go straight to where you’re already throbbing for him, but no.

Matty decides that now is the time to appreciate a woman’s thighs. Slowly he kisses, licks, and bites his way down your skin, building your anticipation again and again until your hips gain a mind of their own and start bucking towards him, it makes Matty chuckle at the same time you plead for him to stop teasing you.

Only after you beg him once more does he give you what you want. Matty laps at your clit like a man starved, knowing exactly how to tease you now and he smirks to himself when your thighs tremble beside his head before dipping his tongue down to drink you in again.

He notices the way you’re holding your moans to yourself, huffing as he flicks your swollen clit with a skilled tongue, your teeth digging harshly on your bottom lip to quiet your whines when he sucks on your clit.

A pop slices the struggling silence in the room when he pulls back, and you find how at the pressure of keeping quiet, his praise heightens your need by a tenfold. “So good for me baby.” His words fall sweetly from his lips, lashes fluttering as he looks up to you and you nod in agreement, hips writhing as an attempt to get him back to what he was doing.

“Think you can hold those pretty sounds as you cum on my tongue.” Your boyfriend says next, dropping a string of kisses on your inner thigh, taking the opportunity to dig his teeth on your skin as if pushing you to the edge and see how much you can take until you break your silence.

You nod frantically, your eyes closed, teeth biting down hard on your bottom lip only letting the tiniest hum of confirmation spill. And you’re sure Matty smirks again before he moves back to your core, only giving you a few seconds of teasing when his hot breath hits your core and you squirm at the feeling.

His wet and bold tongue comes to meet your dripping centre and it’s a blinding feeling of relief and tightening pleasure that just promises to drive you insane. You’re almost holding your breath so that you don’t make a noise but the faster he becomes in his movements on your clit, the more you fail. Your breath grows heavy and it starts leaving you in gasps, hands clawing at the sheets of the bed so tightly so you don’t let your whines slip past your lips.

Senses go into overdrive, all you can see is white behind your eyelids but your ears are catching so well the wet sounds of his mouth on your slick cunt. Your hips become erratic when the coil in the pit of your stomach tightens to an eye-watering degree.

All he can think of as he watches you writhe beneath him is the word mine. He watches his stunning girlfriend losing her mind at the way his tongue moves. He can't help but stare at the way his girlfriend’s chest rapidly rises and falls as he can see the way her hard nipples stand against the fabric of his top before you use your free hand to tease yourself. You’re all his and Matty forces himself to commit the moment to memory, banking it up for another inevitable lonely tour night when you won't be able to join him.

A breathy and desperate, “Matty, f-fuck,” reaches his ears and, along with your shaking legs and your white knuckle grip on the sheets, it lets him know you’re about to let go. So he hums, encouraging you to give it all to him. And the vibration of it is just what you needed for that tension to snap.

Matty can’t tear his eyes away as you cum on his tongue, your flushed chest heaving as your breaths become messy and your back arches. The taste of you mixed with the sight of you makes him grind his hips harder into his bed, needing that slight bit of stimulation himself.

You come down with a few gasps at the feeling of his tongue still teasing you, sore fingers letting go of the bedding to tug on his curls and pull him away. He looks up, a devilish grin plastered on his face showing he’s proud of what he’s achieved before he dips back down, cleaning up the mess he’s made.

The tight grasp you have on his hair doesn’t deter him, if only it encourages him and you’re left focusing on not making noise instead. You’re biting your tongue so hard just so you don’t make a loud noise but you’re struggling a lot so you just beg, “Matty, please,” as you tug on his locks once more and thankfully he listens.

You pull on his curls until he moves with you and he crawls back up your body. It’s a messy kiss you pull him into, tasting yourself on his tongue has you whining and wanting more of him.

Matty rocks himself into you a few times and the friction of it on your overstimulated clit has you gasping. He’s hard, probably enough for it to begin to be painful, so you break your kiss to ask him, “Do you want me to give you head?”

He kisses you again, his hips grinding against you again, and when you groan he kisses your neck he whispers, “I want to be inside you.”

God, you really want that too, but you know you can’t. “No.” You shake your head.

Matty chuckles, pulling up to ask with a grin of disbelief, as if he can’t feel how wet you’ve already got again through his pants. He teases, “You don’t want to shag me baby?”

He kisses down your neck, bruising his way down your skin drawing short moans out of you as you pull on his hair, wanting him to continue. But then you remember where you are, “Matty, everyone’s gonna hear.”

You only just kept quiet as he was giving you head. You’re going to be absolutely done for if he fucks you too.

“Not if you trust me.” Matty locks eyes with you as he asks, “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” You nod, not trusting anyone more than him at this point.

He grins, pulling on your top a little, “Take this off for me then baby.”

You do as you're told and strip off your top as Matty sheds himself of his clothes. He dumps his tie and his shirt where he was previously lay beside you before getting up to pull his pants and underwear down.

Pressing your thighs together when you see just how hard you’ve made your boyfriend is little relief. Matty’s busy gawking at your body though, aching even more than he was without his restrictive clothing. He pumps himself twice, his breath catching as he does but he can’t stop when he looks at you lying on his bed like that.

Your boyfriend goes to move back to the bed but you shake your head, telling him, “Condom.”

“Thought we scrapped those?” He asks with a curious smile.

You tell him sternly, “I’m not having us make a mess and look at your Mum's face as we put the sheets in the wash.”

It almost makes Matty chuckle, instead he just smiles, “Okay baby.” before routing in his bag to find one.

Matty puts it on with ease before he finds his home perched back between your legs. And considering you ‘didn’t want him to fuck you’, he almost finds it comical how desperate you’re looking beneath him right now.

Your boyfriend kisses you deeply again, you can still taste yourself on his tongue and that along with the way he holds your jaw has you moaning against those sinful lips of his.

The kiss only gets messier as it goes, your hands desperately clutching onto him as he presses himself on you. The heaviness of his cock presses and rubs on your clit as his hips move, in a desperate attempt to chase your second orgasm, you move your hips in tune and it just feels too good for your mind to remember you’re supposed to be quiet.

He chuckles against your lips before he pulls away completely, his hips pulling away as well make you whine at the loss of the delicious friction. But you peel your eyes open to see what he’s doing, thinking that he’s doing this to edge you.

You watch as Matty reaches to the side and you see him grab his tie. He wraps it over the knot that's already in it a few times which makes you ask, “What are you doing?”

“Keeping you quiet.” Your boyfriend smirks, “Open.”

Your stomach drops, realising what that means, and you do as you're told. Matty sees the way your eyes get that little bit darker as he puts his tie in your mouth.

When he comes back close to you, pressing himself against you again, he watches your teeth digging into the fabric in your mouth, a moan being muffled by the tie so he smirks seeing that it works.

“Good girl.” Matty praises you, leaning in to have his face hover above yours and watch every little detail on your face as he finally goes to fill you up.

His right hand goes down to guide himself to your centre, teasing your clit by rubbing it with the tip of his cock which elicits a mewl that’s drowned by the fabric on your mouth. He’s enjoying it far too much, the visual of you gagged underneath him and almost desperate to have him inside you makes Matty impossibly hard.

Slowly he stretches you out, biting on his bottom lip as he goes further and when he feels your nails scratching his back as he bottoms out, Matty grabs your arms and pins your wrists over your head. He crosses them so he can keep them in place with his left hand but before he starts moving, he asks for confirmation that you’re not uncomfortable with what he’s just done, “This okay baby?”

Your hasty nodding is entirely amusing to him, he loves seeing you surrendered to him like this. He pulls his hips back the furthest he can without completely exiting you and in a strong swift movement, he bottoms out again.

Slow and hard, that’s the pace he sets and it has your eyes rolling back in pleasure. You had never been gagged before but you find yourself really enjoying it, the thrill of having to have your mouth stuffed with his tie not to get caught has you even more turned on. And adding your hands being pinned over your head as your boyfriend pounds into you, is enough to have you a mess of muffled moans and whines.

Just thinking of the situation has you clenching hard around him and he doesn’t let it go unnoticed, “Oh you like this?” Matty smirks, “Such a whore, aren’t you?”

He feels your thighs tighten around his hips, clearly enjoying being called a whore and it makes his smirk more prominent. His eyes are full of lust as he asks, “Just want me to ruin you, is that right?”

Nodding desperately, you need everything from him now. Your hips buck at him when he does that and you whine a little on the material keeping you quiet. Matty kisses your neck a few times then, and you can feel his smirk, clearly loving having you exactly at his mercy. And you can’t even pretend you’re not loving it either.

“Fuck baby.” Your boyfriend heavily breathes, his eyes darkening that little bit more feeling just how tight you are wrapped around him. “You look so good. Feel fucking amazing.”

He fucks into you mercilessly, quickly finding the angle that has you almost thrashing beneath him and he knows he’s found your g spot. You can’t even meet his thrusts anymore, the knot of pleasure in your lower stomach is almost too much and the blinding heat that stirs inside you has you biting hard on his tie.

Your eyes screw shut and head throws back further into the pillow as he continues whispering vulgar things about how he loves having you like this into your ear and teasing you about just how much you’re enjoying it.

“Come on baby, I can feel you’re close. Cum for me.” Matty says as he kisses just under your ear, biting your earlobe and dragging between his teeth before sucking on the part of your neck that he knows makes you weak. “Please baby, be a good girl and let go for me.”

And it doesn’t take much more than the promise of praise and his hips meeting yours over and over to have you finishing. It hits you and it’s like a blinding white heat runs up your body and takes over your senses.

Matty watches you orgasm beneath him, entirely awestruck at the way you lose yourself. It’s lucky he gagged you because you moan loudly as your high takes over and he can only manage a few more thrusts with how tightly you’re clenching around him.

It’s only seconds before he cums too, filling the condom and moaning down your ear which adds to your own orgasm tenfold. He fucks into you a few more times to drag out the pleasure running through you both before he slows and settles himself, freeing your wrists and pulling his tie from your mouth as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

Your arms fall down over his shoulders, entirely weak just like your body feels but you let your fingers run back into his hair when he lifts himself back up looking at you like he’s drunk. You giggle a little before you kiss him and it’s the sweetest sensation after being fucked by him.

Matty grins when he pulls away, and you giggle at each other before Matty leans down and gives you a little eskimo kiss, before again admitting, “I’m obsessed with you.”

Your heart is so full, you don't even hesitate to say back, “Obsessed with you too baby.”

Matty blushes at that which makes you giggle again and you pull on his hair so he comes back for one last kiss. After that you both decide a shower is in order and as Matty disposes of the condom and goes and grabs the both of you a towel, he embarrasses you.

“We’ll have to sneak out tomorrow morning.” He tells you with a small grin on his face.

You ask curiously, “Why?”

“Because that tie did nothing, you were so loud.” Matty tells you, his smile full now.

Your jaw drops at that, thinking back over it and you frown, “No I wasn’t.”

He starts chuckling, disagreeing with you in jest, “So loud baby.”

He just wants to make you sweat a little. You were fine and he knows for certain no one will have heard anything, he just loves getting you flustered.

“I wasn’t, you cheeky sod.” You whine trying your best not to smile and fake annoyance. You pick his tie up and throw it at him as you say, “You’re not all that Healy.”

He laughs, batting the tie away with ease but he tilts his head and narrows his eyes a little, “You say that, but I just gave you two orgasms.”

“And?” You shake your head, letting him know he isn’t god's gift, “So does my vibrator.”

Matty can’t help but think touche, but he opts to tease you instead, “And that's a show I’d definitely like to watch one day.”

Instantly, your face flames and you start glitching. You stumble trying to come up with some backchat but no coherent words form and the moment for you to be slick passes, so you just end up waving for him to leave, “Go and get me a towel, you twat.”

Matty cackles as he leaves the room doing as he's told. Before the both of you know it, you’re in the shower together and even though it should be steamy and hot, it’s probably one of the cutest things either of you have done together.

You’re both giggling and then catching yourselves, mostly you shushing the both of you, as you don’t want to be found out. But despite the both of you not making it interesting in a sinful way, you end up washing the other's hair.

It started with you shampooing his hair, and when it foamed up and his hair went stiff you couldn’t help but giggle when you morphed it into a mohawk. You joke about him looking good until he threatens to cut his curls to bring his mohawk back and you decline his offer with a look that screamed that you would kill him if he did. You tell him not to touch those curls of his.

And when you carry on giggling as you mould his hair into different shapes before you let him rinse it out, Matty can’t help but get a little in his head about everything as he admires you and giggles along.

If society didn’t deem that the two of you were far too early on in your relationship, Matty would get on one knee here and now and properly propose to you because he just genuinely can’t think of anyone better for him. You’re perfect, and the fact you get on like you’ve forever been the best of friends but also have an amazing relationship is the entire package for him.

It might be far too soon, but when you know you know. And Matty has never felt this way so intensely about someone for such a long time, he’d forgotten how it felt to crumble down inside at the sight of someone he felt so much for just existing. The world feels better and brighter when you’re in his presence and you make his heart ache in a way he now knows he’d missed.

After a shower filled with cute kisses, longing touches, and lots of giggles, the both of you get out and head back to his room to dry off. Even when you put his top back on and both get cosy in bed together and you’re just chatting about where he’s going to show you tomorrow, he just holds you close, thanking his lucky stars you came into his life.

Falling asleep to the sound of the other’s voice promises smiles that stay on your faces for a bit until your slumber switches them into pouts, your arms wrapped around each other and fingers clutching tight as if there was a possibility of one of you evaporating if you dared let your hold run loose, legs tangled together and heavy breaths hitting each other’s skin.

Your heart grows in size when you’re in Matty’s arms and you know just how fast and hard you’re falling for him when your brain deems it not enough to have him present daily in front of you, by your side, for he materialises in your dreams and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Even in your sleep-driven imaginative scenes he manages to make you a mess of grins that reach your eyes, rumble of butterflies filling your stomach, tingling going to every inch of your body.

And waking up, finding him there still, with his curls a mess over the pillow and those lips you love to kiss up in a pout as he continues to breathe slowly in his sleep, makes you almost feel like you’ve somehow managed to hit the jackpot you’ve silently been praying for your whole life.

To find the one.

And you think you’ve found him. You really hope you have.

~*~*~*~

Being shown around the infamous Wilmslow by your boyfriend was one of the highlights of the whole tour for you. You had such a good time, you already can’t wait to go back for a proper stay there.

The both of you slept in a little that morning, coming downstairs to greet everyone else at 11:30 which after your late night it didn’t seem to surprise anyone. Thankfully it seems no one caught on to what happened in Matty’s childhood bedroom because nothing was said and there was no knowing glances or anything.

You all had a cooked breakfast that Denise and Lincoln made which acted as a lovely brunch, satisfying your hunger for most of your day out. After you all finished your meal and chatting, Matty decided he was showing you around for the day which you were more than happy with.

Denise throwing her suggestions in for where to take you really made you giggle, Matty sighing at a few of them as he was already going to take you there but she apparently ruined the surprise. But you loved that she told him to take you to where he used to work because that did give you a giggle.

Matty gave you the bigger tour first, opting to take the car to show you his and the boys' old high school and he told you so many stories about the shit they all got up to back in the day. You would pay so much money to be a fly on the wall back then and experience it like a film playing out to you.

He showed you his old house that he lived in before he was a teenager, and on the drive he pointed out the other boys' childhood homes, telling you Adam’s house felt like a second home to him and that his Mum, Sue, always felt like his second Mum.

Your journey ends with him taking you to Carrs park where the both of you have a nice long walk together, sharing stories and walking hand in hand as you find out more about each other. Matty tells you of the summers that he and the boys used to come down to the park all the time and on hot days they would mess about in the river.

He tells you about when Flo would come over for summers to stay with Adam in Manchester instead of staying in Sheffield, and about how she apparently always preferred her Aunt and Uncle’s home over her own. That he taught her how to skateboard at the skate park that was also in the park which he showed you and you made him promise that in the summer he would bring you back and show you his skills.

You both walk around the park for just over an hour before you head back to the car, and Matty continues with his tour. This time he parks up just off Wilmslow highstreet and you walk down with him.

He shows you The Rex cinema which if you both had more time here he would have taken you to see a film but he promises to bring you back for a date night. To make up for it, he takes you a few doors further down and buys you a few cocktails in Revs, your favourite being the Mean Girl one that comes with a post-it note pegged onto the glass that says ‘So Fetch’.

Matty ends up having a few drinks too and it’s only after you’ve both had two cocktails and 3 flavoured shots each that he realises you both drove here. Thankfully that gets quickly resolved by him phoning his brother and he promises Louis that if he comes to drive you both back, he will buy him a bottle of vodka and pay for his taxi from home to the car later.

Whilst in Revs, you spot a photobooth and after how cute the last ones were, you can’t resist doing another one. These pictures turn out to be extremely coupley, but you blame that on being tipsy and loving your boyfriend's lips on your own. The print was black and white and the camera captured your kisses, giggles, and funny faces and you download the digital version instantly so you can put the cutest one as your lock screen.

You go on your merry way after another few drinks, Matty walking you further up the highstreet to the big Sainsburys so he can get his brother's alcohol and you can’t help but giggle at the mere sight of it. Even more so now because you’re tipsy.

Matty already knows why you’re laughing, but when you ask him, “Is this the Sainsburys?” and he confirms it is the Sainsburys, you get so excited. As if him mentioning the supermarket in a song makes it a landmark you have to see.

You make him giggle though when you run off in front of him in the shop and only when he catches you up and you scorn him does he understand what you were doing. It’s when you tell him, “No, pretend you don't know me and come flirt with me.” that he can’t stop giggling.

The fact that you’ve gone hours without food meant the alcohol has gotten to you and your tipsy state is hilarious to him. The fact you want to be a girl he flirts with in a Sainsburys is all the more wholesome to him though, at least this time he knows he will have an effect on you because it’s so easy to make you putty in his hands.

He does the little roleplay you desired and he loves the way you’re grinning at him, even though the pick up line he used was utter shit, he can tell you’re all flustered. And you only get worse when he breaks the charade and whispers other explicit things in your ear of what he would like to do to and with you and you have to push him away from you, the proximity too much to bear when he gets you too embarrassed and worked up.

You can just about look at him again when you leave the supermarket and he grabs you hand as he continues to show you the last few things on his tour of his home. He walks you back down the highstreet, this time on the other side of the road to let you have a nosy at the shops, before walking straight over the road.

He takes you to his Caffe Nero where he used to work and the both of you get a coffee, in hopes to make the both of you less tipsy, before he walks you down to the Chinese he used to work at as a delivery driver. After a quick conversation, you and Matty decide you want something from there for your dinner, so he quickly phones his family to see if they want anything too.

Turns out they do, and after placing a big order with them, Louis comes and meets you to drive the both of you back to their home and you all have a big family meal. The vodka that was bought is cracked open almost immediately and the three of you end up having drinks together while Denise and Lincoln make themselves a mocktail pitcher to share as you all chat about everything and nothing.

Never have you felt so at ease in the presence of your partner's family, especially the first real time you’ve spent with any of them. Maybe it’s because they're northern, or maybe it is just because they are fantastic people but you’ve never felt so welcome in your life and you’re so thankful for them.

You even get told funny stories about when Matty was little, and your favourite anecdote about him is that when he was really little he had a lisp. You start teasing him and saying odd words mocking a lisp and your boyfriend pretends to be unamused, but it gets even funnier when you and Louis start doing it together. Denise and Lincoln cackled as Matty was getting more and more annoyed, but thankfully a kiss to the cheek appeased him when you got up to get you both another drink.

The family's kindness really makes you not want to leave, and you really will reluctantly do so tomorrow morning. Even more so when Denise hugs you so tightly before she heads up to bed and she thanks you for coming to stay and for such a lovely evening, and she makes you almost tear up when she tells you how much of a good fit she thinks you are for her son and how welcome you are to their family.

She calls you the daughter she never had and it makes you get a little lump in your throat and you just squeeze her tighter before thanking her again for being so hospitable to you. You’ve had such a good time, you drag the night out, trying to stop yourself from getting tired even when you and Matty head back upstairs to bed.

Matty knows what you’re doing and he finds it adorable but he reminds you that you’re too much of a Grandma to try and stay up late for two nights on the trot. As soon as he gets you changed into his top and your head hits his pillows, your eyes close and Matty laughs at the effort it seems to be taking you to reopen them.

So you don’t have to, Matty just sheds off his clothes down to his underwear and he gets in bed beside you after flicking the lamp off, but he practically lays on top of you wanting you to cuddle him. Even when you're falling asleep you don’t fail to root your fingers into his curls and you hum in satisfaction as you play with his hair for a few minutes, but as soon as you stop scratching his scalp, he knows you’re asleep.

But he doesn’t follow you, instead he stays up for a little while longer and he moves back just a little so his eyes can go over every inch of your face. He wills himself to learn every detail of your face by heart, almost counting the freckles scattered on your skin as if that was a piece of information he had to live by, as if he had to look for constellations in the sky that resembled them as closely as possible just so he could feel you near when he eventually goes away.

Matty doesn’t realise he’s brought his hand up to your face until you squirm under the touch of his fingers grazing your cheekbones softly. He stills at your sudden movement but his smile grows on his face when you end up humming, like you're encouraging him to continue as you fall deeper into your slumber.

Your growing warmth beneath him and the sound of your hums lull him to sleep, blissfully pressing his head on the pillow after he’s dropped a soft kiss on the tip of your nose and trying his hardest to continue looking at your gorgeous sleepy face for as long as his tired eyes allow him.

Even when his eyes manage to close and it’s too hard to peel them open again, he can see you burned into his eyelids and on the forefront of his mind is every moment he’s gotten to share with you today and these past few days of tour.

Selfishly, he wishes for them to never end. If there’s one thing he would do anything to have is you beside him all the time.

Please, he says in his head and he hopes whoever can grant him that wish is listening.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next tour stop is Nottingham and driving down there after being in the lads’ hometown is enlightening. It seems like being in their hometown, even if it’s just for a day, fills them up with a surge of energy that had been wearing down throughout the past few months they’ve spent on the road.

So of course, the time it takes you to get there is spent between them all going about the lounge taking the piss at each other and smoking, fighting over the most mundane opinions and even over a chocolate bar they found hidden away in the shelves.

The argument of who deserves to have the chocolate has been going on for over 10 minutes, everyone proposing their reasoning and it is growing more and more ridiculous by the minute. They keep making fun of each other's excuses and loudly counter proposing something that backs themselves up.

“It’s just chocolate, break it into pieces for everyone to have some.” Adam sighs in response to the bickering that keeps growing in volume which mixed with the few hours of sleep he’s had, is threatening to cause him a headache.

“No, that’s not fun.” Ross scowls at him like he’s a buzzkill for being the voice of reason in this debate. Instead, a cruel and fun way to get people to fight over the last chocolate comes to his mind and he smirks as his gaze sweeps everyone in the room. “Who has the saddest story?”

George’s huff in annoyance is loud and it makes you think that this is definitely not the first time a play like this has come about to settle an argument. Still, you frown and ask, “What?” confused at the random prompt.

But your boyfriend answers before Ross can, “It's a game we play, we give a different condition for a story each time to see who wins what we’re short of. This time the saddest story wins the chocolate.”

Your hesitant nod seems to be the only confirmation Ross needed, as if you were the one calling the shots this time to he places the chocolate back inside the cupboard and sits back in the booth to close call out who’s staring with their anecdote.

The first to go is George who talks about how his childhood dog died and though you find it tragic, the guys just roll their eyes and ask for the next one because they’d heard it way too many times before.

The rest of the band follows along, Adam refusing to participate because he finds it pointless and Matty skipping just because he’s fine being a spectator. Polly’s anecdote makes you pout as you listen to her and you end up giving her a little hand squeeze when she’s done. And then it’s your turn.

“Y/N?” Ross raises his eyebrows at you, a challenging look as if he’s entirely sure you don’t stand a chance to win this.

But you surprise him when you straighten in your seat, roll your shoulders and sigh heavily to prepare yourself mentally, knowing you’re so taking the chocolate for yourself.

“I’m playing to win this, okay?” Is your hint of a warning of what’s to come but no one really takes it that seriously.

“Oh go on then, doubt you can beat Polly’s.” Matty taunts this time, a giggle almost weaving through his words.

You shrug, not really giving into the teasing of his words and you start your story, “Okay so this was about five years ago, I was at a party of sorts with my ex. For context I was with him for over three years, we were really happy and I loved this person right.” You almost laugh at the memory, just because of how pathetic it had made you feel for so long until you realised you were far better off.

Clearing your throat, you continue, “Then we go to this party but it's just like at his mates house and we're all there chatting outside around the fire pit and then the question gets asked, ‘where do you see yourself in twenty years’ so each of us go round answering. Everyone mentions kids, marriage, dream jobs, blah blah blah…”

You wave your hand to diminish the importance of what was said and they watch as the corners of your lips twitch in amusement, “So I go and I say everything I hope for, that I want to be happy, have my own house which I share with the person I love, as I'm holding hands with my ex.” Your eyes catch everyone looking attentively at you, waiting for you to continue, “Whatever, I carry on talking about having my own family and everyone is smiling and loving my answer but then my ex has his go.”

You take a deep breath before you go on with the worst part of your anecdote, “My ex said, ‘In twenty years I think I'm still going to be trying to find the girl of my dreams’.”

At that, you hear everyone gasping and when you let your eyes go up to see the group of people around you, you catch a few with their hands covering their mouths and a few just freely letting you see they’re jaw dropped.

What you don’t get to see is the way your boyfriend’s face has fallen completely, his heart sinking to the deepest pit of his stomach and he genuinely feels sick knowing someone had the audacity to say that. It feels like something clicks as to why you were so insecure when it came to you thinking he was ‘settling’ for you after hearing that.

But you’re not quite done yet, chuckling a bit at their reactions, you brush a strand of hair behind your ear and add, “And he didn't just leave it there. He went on to elaborate on what he was looking for. And just like all of you, all of his friends went deadly silent and were just looking at the two of us. I went entirely numb for a minute, but in that time I somehow managed to say, ‘hope you find her’ in the most monotone voice and got up and left.”

A few beats of silence pass, everyone too astounded to even find out what was correct to say in such a situation.

Until Ross breaks it with a simple, “That’s fucking brutal.” which makes you snort out in laughter.

“I know. Can I have that chocolate now?” You extend your hand out for him to give you the prize, you know no one will dare to disagree that your story was the saddest.

And he nods, “Absolutely, fucking hell.”

You watch as the bassist gets the chocolate from the cupboard and gives it to you, and after thanking him softly, you notice the way everyone is still silent, so you turn to them and call them out for it, “Okay, everyone lighten up, it’s been a while since then.”

Thankfully the mood lightens after you win their game, things move on when people get various phone calls and you start concentrating on your phones and what’s on the TV again. Your past doesn’t plague your mind in the slightest as you’ve already buried that away with a nice little bow of trauma securing it away, and you have no intention of letting it get you upset any longer than it did a few years back. It was most definitely his loss anyway and you’re doing miles better for yourself these days.

You move on quite quickly, forgetting about it minutes after everyone went back to normal and you were more sidetracked with baby Hann and the chats you were having with Carly. But Matty couldn’t get it out of his head.

He found that his heart still felt like it had been beaten to a pulp for you. It hurt him a lot hearing how someone who you let yourself be vulnerable with and who you opened your heart to, said something so awful and completely disregarded your relationship like it was nothing.

God knows if someone said that to him it would never not plague his thoughts or have a permanent sinking feeling in his chest. He can’t help but think just how strong you are to have got through something like that and to be as happy and bubbly as you are now.

Since meeting you and getting to know you properly, Matty has always found himself incredibly lucky to easily make you smile or laugh that he can’t imagine ever saying anything so horrible to you. It makes him want to cherish you even more, to protect you from anyone who could be so cruel and hold you closer and tighter than ever.

Which is what he ended up doing. He didn’t bring it up until you were alone that night in the back lounge of the bus just after the last few others had disappeared off to bed.

You’d not long since had a call with Amelia and your manager that started off as business related and as soon as your manager bid you goodbye, you had a good catch up with your best friend. You’ve probably not gone this long without seeing her for a while and you were both getting withdrawal symptoms so you definitely enjoyed your chat with her.

You were equally excited to get back to the fun conversations that always filled the bus, but you weren’t surprised that it was only George and Matty that were coherently talking when you went back to socialise. Turns out you’d been chatting to your best friend for the best part of 3 hours and it was nearing 11pm and with it being an off day everyone was lazy and heading to bed early which you don’t blame them for.

This tour and your boyfriend have really fucked with your sleeping pattern, a month ago you would be tired at this time but now you rarely get tired until 2am. But it meant more time being in Matty’s presence and cuddling up to him awake in his bunk where you talk about anything that comes to mind until you eventually drift off so you don’t mind in the slightest.

Even now after George has just headed off to bed, you just find yourself relaxing in your boyfriends hold that little bit more as you pay attention to the BBC Three show that’s playing silently on the TV. Or that is until your boyfriend gets your attention again.

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Matty whispers in your ear, a kiss being pressed on your cheek right after and his fingers clutching your waist tightly like you could be taken away from him if he wasn’t cautious.

You let your head rest on his shoulder so you can look up at him and in slight confusion, you ask him, “What?”

“With your ex. I’m sorry he did that. It was awful to hear and that’s not a par on what it must’ve felt like.” His fingers rub circles on your waist, under your shirt so his touch is warm and soothing on your skin.

Turning in his hold, your arms go around his shoulder and your fingers play with the short curls at the nape of his neck as you shake your head, “Oh no, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay at all.” His eyes are wide, there’s no way he’ll ever come to terms with the fact that you had to go through something like that.

You sigh a bit heavily, because you know he’s right but it’s been so long since then and it has led you to where you are now so you have no complaints. Your nails scratch softly at his scalp, “I know, but I’m glad with the way everything has worked out.”

Softly, like he’s scared it will set something off that you won’t like, Matty asks, “Was he the guy who you last went out with?”

You nod, “He was the last guy, yeah. I met a girl a year after and we were together about eight months but she kept getting jealous of the dates I was going on and the flirting yet she also wanted me to take her to the dates with me so she could meet the celebs and it all just ended in a big argument so I just decided I was done.” His face is screwed up in a frown that lets you know how he finds that, and you give him a side smile as if agreeing on how bad that was.

“Everyone after her has been one night things which were hit and miss but I’d convinced myself I was better off alone anyway.” It’s easy for you to be honest about this all with him, so you continue, “No one was gonna get it and I’d sort of come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to find anything again.” and it’s even easier to let him know how it all changed, “Until you.”

You feel his fingers digging into the flesh of your waist as he breathlessly asks, “Me?”

And a giggle escapes you when you reassure that’s exactly what you meant, “Yeah, you.”

“What changed?” One of his hands comes up to lift your chin up slightly, fingertips slowly dragging down your jaw and the softness of his touch makes you lean into it.

“Well for a start I was never going to turn down another date with you.” Your lips purse as you try not to smile embarrassedly at your admission, “But then you came round to mine and you were the sweetest. You hugged me when I got upset at your album, you came round and surprised me and bought me a Christmas present.”

Your heart swells in your chest as you remember, your eyes stay on his and you find yourself wanting to forever be under his gaze because it just has goosebumps erupting on your skin, heat rising up to your cheeks and a tingling hitting every corner of your being, “You make me nervous, and I’ve not felt nervous talking to someone in the longest time, I missed that.”

There’s a need to clear up your words when you realise it could come across wrongly, “But I wasn’t nervous because you’re the lead singer of my favourite band. I was nervous because of you.” His delicate smile reaches his eyes, those crinkles you’ve grown to love showing just how happy your words are making him and he continues his delicate tracing of your features as you add, “The things you do when you talk to me, when you smile at me or smirk at me. You make me the best kind of nervous.”

His thumb teasingly runs across your bottom lip, your breath hitches in your throat and you hold it there until his finger runs down to press on your chin softly, “I still make you nervous?”

“All the time.” It comes out in a whisper but it’s wholehearted because it’s the actual truth, “I love it when you’re not actively trying to make me flustered.” That’s a bit of a white lie, because you do love it when he teases you even though he makes it so hard for you not to be embarrassed by it in public.

Matty pouts slightly, “But seeing you flustered is how I know it’s all working.”

He makes himself sound so innocent like that, you roll your eyes in fake annoyance, “Yeah, yeah. You just love watching me squirm, I know.”

And then that smirk you love breaks on his face and it all comes together when he chats back, “Love watching you do more than squirm.”

It makes you so incredibly giddy, he can definitely feel the heat growing on your face at his words, “Yeah I sure know you do, you little shit.” You narrow your eyes, an attempt to appear menacing.

He snickers at your effort, offering you an eye roll and a sassy, “Oh but you love it.” as a response.

“I do.” You catch your bottom lip between your teeth as you agree. There’s no need to keep anything to yourself anymore, you think, and how liberating is it that you can just cup his face and pull him in for a sweet kiss to show him just how much you adore him.

Your tongue teases his bottom lip and he lets your tongues meet without a second of doubt, he hums when he tastes you and you hum back to let him know how much you enjoy this. It is so easy letting time pass when your lips are moving with each other, your fingers clutching each other tightly and oxygen be damned for your one priority is showing what you feel through your kiss.

You pull back panting when you can no longer kiss without feeling like you’re gonna pass out from lack of oxygen in your lungs and he takes the opportunity to bring back what started it all, “I’m sorry he made you feel like you weren’t enough.”

“Thank you for making me feel like I am.” Your head tilts as you say, doe eyes almost sparkling at him like a love sick puppy for him.

You swear it was impossible to feel stronger for him until he nudges your nose with his and your lips brush together as he says, “You’re more than enough, baby. I’m the luckiest to have you.”

All you can do is press your lips against his but before you can deepen the kiss, you’re pulling back enough to look at him deep in the eyes and let him know once again, “Obsessed with you.”

Matty experiences something new every minute he spends with you, he swears, because it’s so incredible the way his heart easily swells in his chest with everything you do and say. It’s so easy for him to reciprocate, almost painful to keep it in that he’s, “Obsessed with you too.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The Nottingham show was nothing short of incredible. As per usual the boys gave their absolute best and delivered a gig that you know for a fact people wouldn’t forget (you know the feeling far too well of wanting to go back in time to experience their shows over and over again throughout the years) and Matty’s interactions with the audience made you laugh as per usual. Especially when he gave them four songs to choose from and even after Paris lost to Menswear, he decided to still play Paris after it.

Your note being, I certainly like you better when you take off your clothes ;) x that night assured that he went absolutely unhinged for you on stage during Too Shy. You found yourself sweating at his intent hip movements as his eyes swam through the crowd in search of you, winking your way when he found you and you had to hide behind your hands all flustered while the girls around you squealed, entirely unaware of your presence and thinking it was meant for them.

Leeds comes next and you have the best time too, especially when he opens your note and cackles loudly when he reads, Drive Like I Do, when? instead of a cute note like he had been expecting.

He surprises you when Robbers comes on and he sings the climax of the song in the style of the Drive Like I Do version of the song. You scream so loud at that, joining the crowd's cheers and when the next song starts, you’re left feeling all gooey inside at the fact that the littlest things you can mention will end up in him trying to appease your wishes.

Newcastle is entirely shocking to you. You were excited to be there, especially since Matty mentioned Tim would be attending and you’d finally be able to meet him, but you’re absolutely not ready for the surprise you got once you got to the venue.

It had been slightly hectic, since people were swarming the place so you had to sneak into the venue almost being shielded by George and Ross’ big frames as you hid in a massive hoodie and some glasses to try and keep your identity hidden.

You find yourself shaking in anticipation as you’re walking between George and Ross on your way to the greenroom, trying to have a pep talk in your mind so that you calm yourself down about the prospect of meeting your boyfriend’s Dad.

Of course the lads caught onto your shaking hands that you were wiping on top of your hoodie, Ross teased you for being nervous but George assured you it’d be alright. So you settle a bit, slowly coming to terms with it and preparing yourself to offer Tim a smile as soon as you step through the door of the greenroom.

But when you get there and see that Lewis fucking Capaldi is there, you can’t help but let out a squeal of excitement. The Scottish legend who in a few months you know you already have a date booked in with, makes you so excited. You run to hug him hello and he’s equally excited to see you there.

Tim makes you cackle when he says, “I’ll be offended if I don’t get hugged just as enthusiastically.” behind you and you let go of Lewis to greet the comedic legend. You’re glad your reaction to Lewis’ presence served as an ice breaker because then the conversation with Matty’s Dad flows easily and you find yourself laughing at the fact that you were so nervous about meeting him when he’s an absolute sweetheart.

Spending the day in Lewis’ company is as funny as you could’ve imagined and the filming of him taking the piss out of what Matty does on stage makes you cackle laughing. Thankfully with the other singer distracting your boyfriend, you could easily sneak your note into his pocket today, and you felt quite proud of that one.

That night you stay back behind the stage to watch the show (the crew gave you some in-ears so you could still hear everything the way that you would if you were in the main bit of the arena). Tonight your note was Obsessed with you and everything but Newcastle aren’t winning the cup baby xoxoxo and when the camera shows Matty snorting at it and shaking his head, pocketting it again before grabbing his acoustic guitar, it made you giggle and when Lewis asked you about it and you told him, he started laughing too.

This had all come about because like George had been roped into supporting Newcastle United by his best friend, you had been dragged in to support Manchester United because that’s Amelia’s football team. Yesterday was the first leg of Newcastle's semi-final in the Carabao Cup which you all watched and you were happy for Matty that they won 1-0, but tonight was Manchester United’s first semi-final match and you had a good feeling your team was going to win. Regardless though, you did think that you would end up playing your boyfriend’s team in the final, and you can’t let him get too comfortable so you kept teasing him yesterday saying regardless of if they win, Manchester United will beat Newcastle.

The show moved on quickly, and it wasn’t a surprise that you started tearing up when Tim goes on stage to sing All I Need To Hear and you’re glad you’re right next to Lewis because he makes you laugh when he makes a joke about how the band would be more successful if Tim replaced Matty.

When it’s time for Lewis to go on stage, you’re left alone until your boyfriend surprises you with his presence after he quickly got changed and the rest of the band tagged along so you all could watch Lewis together.

Of course you lot piss yourselves laughing when people go absolutely mad when the text Special guest: Harry Styles comes on the screen and then it only grows louder once the door opens, but to their disappointment it’s not the Watermelon singing man.

Lewis makes it funnier when he waves at everyone, laughter can be heard from the crowd and it grows louder when he walks up to the mic and says, “My name is Harry Styles and it’s good to be here. I know what you’re thinking; ‘He looks different. He sounds different’.” And with one last adjusting of his guitar strap, he adds, “But make no mistake I am Harry Styles.”

But your amusement dies in your throat in a split second when he starts strumming on his guitar and he starts a song you have been dying to hear for far too long.

If anyone told you a few months ago that you’d be hearing Antichrist be performed live at a The 1975 concert for the first time by Lewis Capaldi, you would’ve thought it to be the most far-fetched joke anyone could come up with. But here you were, already crying at Lewis singing the first line to a song you’ve waited so long to hear in concert.

Matty doesn’t realise how bad your state is until Lewis sings, “Is it the same for you?” and you shake with the sob that rips through you. The visuals on the big screens were making him laugh and he assumed your soft shaking was just a product of your laughter, the sound being drowned by the loudness of the crowd singing along. He’s entirely taken aback by your reaction and in instinct he wraps his arms around you from behind you.

He hears you tearfully but softly singing the next verse but you fully let your broken voice rumble with the crowd for the third verse.

The buildup to the bridge starts and they lads take a few seconds of silence to clock onto your state and giggle. They didn’t expect you to have such a reaction to Lewis singing the song, and Ross is a cheeky bitch so he points it out.

“This is exactly why we’re never doing this song.” If you’re crying this hard then the bassist wouldn’t want to imagine how badly the people in the crowd were looking.

You don’t even allow yourself to form a proper answer and instead you let the song dramatically reply to him. You point your finger at him and George who is right beside him and belt out the bridge almost entirely enraged at what he’s just had the cheek to say.

But that doesn’t appear menacing to them, George and Ross laugh and you can feel Matty’s chest shaking with laughter behind you. Even Adam was giggling away at your emotion and it was only making you sob harder as you sang. You don’t even have the mind to think about how embarrassing this might be when you look back because you’re completely overcome by emotion.

They’re not done taking the piss out of you when the song is over, and you’re left shaking your head at their jokes whilst you wipe the tears off your face, Matty’s lips pressing kisses to your neck and shoulder but you feel his breath hit your skin whenever he laughs at any of the guys’ quips.

Lewis announcing, “I was going to sing one of my songs next, but I thought it would just be better to play a Taylor Swift song.” has you gasping way too loud, interrupting another joke Ross was about to make at your expense but your reaction to the Scots’ introduction of the second song is enough to earn you a round of cackles.

George is louder this time and his giggles are so contagious you find yourself laughing with them, that is until Lewis starts singing the Taylor song you’ve loved so much since you were a teenager and the waterworks start again.

It is all such a mix of emotions, you can’t help the tears streaming down your face. It’s the song being played right after Antichrist, it’s the feeling of Matty’s arms wrapped tightly around you and how he sings it softly to you in your ear. You’re purposely keeping your volume to a decent point so you can hear your boyfriend singing it to you.

If he wasn’t holding you, you would’ve melted and died on the spot. Your legs feel wobbly from the crazy storm of butterflies fluttering inside your stomach and there’s a burning heat that runs through your veins that melts your insides.

“You alright baby?” Matty asks you softly when the song is over, brows furrowed as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

You nod softly, just letting your tears run down your cheeks until they stop but he’s on the task in a matter of seconds. He stands before you, hands cupping your jaw and thumbs swiping at the tears staining your skin.

Through his in-ears he hears they gotta go back on stage in a minute but before he rushes back with the lads, Matty showers your face with pecks. When he reaches your lips though, he can’t help himself and locks your lips in a sweet kiss, one that lasts longer than needed because George is yelling at him they need to go and so is the crew member talking in his in-ears again.

You pull back and push him softly so he can go, and just because you’re feeling better and in a jokey mood now, you give his arse a slap before he’s gone from your side. He looks back at you with a smirk, right as he gets to the door and winks at you. You’re left smiling like an idiot, waiting for the show to continue.

Lewis teases you throughout the rest of the show, at first for crying at what he did but then when Matty did something like wink into the camera or thrust at the audience. The Scot was a big tease and whilst you pretended to hate him for it, you had such a fun evening singing along to the boys with him.

Unfortunately, with there being a show the following day in Liverpool and Lewis heading back out on tour, you couldn’t go out and have a few drinks together that night. But you all bid him goodbye, you give him a hug and tell him that you and Amelia will be seeing him soon.

It felt bittersweet saying goodbye to Tim, but he told you that you had to come back up to Newcastle with Matty as soon as you were free to and he would happily show you around the city properly. Before you even know it, you’re back on the road.

You passed out pretty much as soon as you got on the bus and Matty found you in the bunk fast asleep about 5 minutes after you said you were heading to bed. Just before he climbed in to join you, he pressed a sweet kiss to your lips hoping not to wake you and he was grateful he didn’t disturb you when he cuddled himself into you and slowly fell asleep himself.

Waking up outside the arena in Liverpool was an interesting ordeal. There wasn’t a gated section where the buses could go here so when you and Matty woke up and were hoping to head out for a walk, it was a little difficult because there were fans outside.

So a little plan was devised to combat this, and it was orchestrated and quite literally carried out by George. The drummer suggested that you wrap up in a hoodie and have the hood up and that he would carry you out and into the venue, and people would automatically assume you were Charli and that you were asleep.

The queen of pop had gone back home to London after the Manchester show, along with Carly too but no one but those of you on the tour knew that. So George carrying a girl into the arena seemed like a perfect way to get you in unseen and keep your relationship underwraps.

There was an alternative, that Ross carry you inside in the same way, but as soon as you made a joke of that's a good way of socialising with him more, Matty chipped in quickly and cut that idea off. So it was Matty’s jealousy that decided that you would be carried the 10 metres into the venue by George.

And thankfully it went fine and there were a few fans who made a fuss but George just smiled and kept walking with you in his arms. Your legs were around his waist and your arms wrapped around his shoulders and you hid yourself away into his neck until the metal doors closed.

Once they did, you looked up at George and grinned, he laughed at your grin and smiled back. You couldn’t not tell him as you were in his arms though, “You smell really good.”

“Thanks babe.” The drummer winks, resulting in you immediately becoming flustered.

Matty heard and saw all this, so with a brief look of jealousy and distaste, he nudged his best friend, indicating to put you down. However, the drummer instead smirked, “Nah, she’s mine now mate.”

If that didn’t have you internally choking, the drummer moving his hands to your arse for the briefest few seconds to tease his best mate did. You’re winning at life well and truly, you’re certain you’ll die a happy woman.

After that, George let you return to your feet and you and Matty went about your day. It was quite early and both of you didn’t sleep well really despite falling asleep quickly. The bunk was definitely beginning to get uncomfortable now, so you’re certainly excited to be getting closer to being back in a proper bed.

Matty however, thought ahead and booked the two of you a day room at a nearby hotel which you both walked to after you had a sneaky walk around the docks, thankfully not being recognised by anyone. The room was stunning, and not even because it was fancy, it was just because after not sleeping in a proper bedroom since you were in Manchester it felt like a luxury.

A luxury which both you and Matty tarnished completely because you both did more than sleep in the bed and made most of the time you had alone with no need to worry about being quiet. You both napped after you wore each other out but then you both showered together which ended with both of you on your knees one after another.

After checking out and getting a taxi back to the venue, everything went smoothly. There was even a surprise waiting for you, which may be another best moment of the tour, because thanks to the fan who threw a sausage roll on stage back in Manchester, Greggs have sent the band a PR package.

It’s a glorious sight. 13 hot sausage rolls and a dozen different pasties for you all to feast on before the show. It was amazing and you’ve never seen food disappear so quickly in your life.

After that, you and Matty both greeted Denise and Lincoln who made the trip up to come and watch the show again. You were sticking to being in the pit again tonight and you went out just after Denise said goodbye to the boys.

When you got to the pit, you couldn’t help but laugh when you saw the crowd yelling and waving at Denise who is up at the top of the first tier of seats. She waves to her fans like the true queen she is and before you know it the show starts.

The show is as amazing as it always is and the crowd is as loud as ever. You’re screaming along with all of them, every line to every song at the top of your lungs but your yells of excitement are interrupted the moment the consumption interlude comes and, while everyone is screaming even louder at the sight, you’re speechless in embarrassment.

You’ve never felt such regret for sleeping with your boyfriend before, but when Matty did the consumption interlude that night and he took his shirt off, revealing to the 11 thousand people (Denise and Lincoln included, plus the band and the crew) that you’d scratched his back to shreds earlier. Your jaw dropped when you saw the red marks lining his shoulder blades.

You quite literally consider running away and never showing your face on this tour or to anyone on it afterwards but thankfully the show carries on and after a few songs you manage to forget about it. It’s a shame everyone else doesn’t forget though, because when you head backstage after the set has ended, you get endlessly teased for it.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the day after, the fans figured out that it wasn’t George carrying Charli into the venue in Liverpool. The bright side was that they didn’t know it was you but they found out it wasn't the queen of pop in the drummer’s arms because Charli attended an event at the same time as the gig back in London so the conspiracies went on and on. Twitter seemed to connect the girl in George’s arms as the one who had marked up Matty’s back and they seemed to just take the piss out of Matty for it because he wasn’t strong enough to carry you inside himself.

It made you and George laugh, but your boyfriend not so much. The next day he took every excuse he could to pick you up off the ground whether it was just to prove the point, or just to twirl you around to make you giggle. At one point he gave you a piggyback ride and he ran around the room filled with all the boys in it, even making Jordan take pictures of the two of you.

Jordan sent you both the pictures that night, and one of the pictures that came out where Matty is running but you and him towards Jordan is so funny. In the first, you and your boyfriend are giggling as he's zooming past the camera but you are both grinning line lunatics as you clutch him.

The second one though is your favourite because it was caught just as you lent around over Matty’s shoulder and his head was twisted towards you, and you were both laughing at each other as he held you up. You were fairly certain you kissed him afterwards too just before Matty raced back around the room.

Before any of you knew it, you were on the plane over to Ireland. The night you got there, you stayed in a hotel and with your free day before the next gig and Matty showed you around the sights. You had such a fun day being a tourist and your boyfriend showed you his favourite spots he always tried to come to when he was in Dublin. And to end the night off, you and the rest of the boys all ended up going to a pub where traditional Irish music was being played inside and it was so much fun.

The Dublin show was the second to last date of the tour and everyone had been incredibly excited about it. Of course, it had been a bit sad seeing this leg of the tour coming to an end but it had all gone so well that you felt more like celebrating the conclusion of such an amazing tour than sulking over it being over.

But it wasn’t the nostalgia of seeing the tour ending before your eyes that made the mood come down when you were all gathered in the greenroom at the venue, instead it was Jamie letting Matty know what a certain tabloid was planning on putting out about him on the next day’s paper.

You instantly caught the change in his behaviour and did your best to cheer him up a bit, which thankfully wasn’t that hard because he seemed to have gotten over it when it was time for you to go out into the crowd and him to get on stage.

That night, you kept your note sweet but funny, using his lyrics to try and steal at least a giggle out of him. When he read that it said, You got a pretty kinda dirty face x he chuckled to himself and pocketed it with a smile that reached his eyes. You were relieved seeing him smiling harder now after the note and you silently hoped it would stay that way until the gig ended.

But you celebrated too soon, because he went on to let the large crowd know about the situation right before singing Love It If We Made It and your heart got heavy seeing the clear distaste and upset on his face.

Matty didn’t let it hold him down though, because he went on to give a passionate rendition of the song and you got goosebumps as you watched him enraged and growling out the lyrics.

Unfortunately, after the show was done, the high came down quickly when you all walked back into the greenroom to the news of the article having been published online already and reading it was upsetting.

You watched as your boyfriend read it multiple times, getting more and more angry every time but he kept it to himself, only letting scoffs and shakes of his head show to everyone. The rest of the band read it and called bullshit on it, rolling their eyes at the way something had been twisted and taken way out of proportion.

It was when you got in the bunk together later that night, in the tour bus on your way to Belfast, that Matty properly let his emotions show.

He let angry tears fall from his eyes silently with you cradling his head on your chest, your right hand rubbing his back soothingly as your other hand was on his head and softly scratching his scalp.

It broke your heart hearing him getting this worked up and upset, your head a tangle of confused thoughts as to how people could be so quick to jump to the worst conclusions when taking a singular second of a moment out of context to fit their villainizing narrative.

“I’m sorry.” Matty apologised as he sniffled, picking up his head from your chest slightly so that he could wipe the tears off his cheeks.

But you shook your head, letting your hands come up to cup his face so you could take on the task of wiping his tears, “Don’t apologise, baby. It’s what I’m here for.”

You pulled him back down to rest over you and he didn’t have it in himself to deny the comfort that you were bringing him so he nuzzled his face on the crook of your neck and, right after he left a soft kiss on your skin, he quietly asked, “Am I a bad person?”

“No, you’re not.” You replied in a heartbeat, not even a hint of doubt crossing your mind, “People just love making others seem worse than them so that they can feel superior. It’s so fucked.” Your fingers tangled in his curls and pulled on them slightly, just so he could look at you as you continued, “Everyone knows the person you are, and you would never do that. You don’t stand for that. They’re always looking for something they can turn into a scandal and it’s so unfair that they do it at your expense.”

His teary eyes watch you intently for a few seconds, silence engulfing you entirely but your eye contact doesn’t break. That’s how you catch the tear that falls from the corner of his eye with your thumb quickly and you have to bite your bottom lip not to cry yourself.

Matty doesn’t say anything and you can’t blame him, it’s upsetting enough to see him go through this so you cannot imagine what it must feel like being called such a name for an action that got completely misinterpreted.

He kissed the palm of your hand softly, wet lips pressed on your soft skin adoringly with his eyes closed as if he’s indulging in it all.

“Let’s just go to sleep okay?” You suggest delicately, whisper breaking the silence and the heaviness of the moment, and you’re so glad that he nods and melts right into you.

After a long minute, you hear Matty sigh and you stay awake until you’re certain he’s asleep. Only when you register his steady breathing and the absence of his sniffling, do you will yourself to close your eyes and get some rest.

~*~*~*~ 30th January ~*~*~*~

Today, you woke up still feeling your chest heavy after everything that had happened last night. But it’s Amelia’s birthday and she's flying over to join you on the last day of tour, so you were excited to go pick her up from the airport, but that unfortunately meant having to leave an upset Matty for a bit just as the crew is starting to bring everything inside the venue.

Earlier that morning, whilst you had gone to the small bathroom in the bus, Matty had read the article once again and when he caved and went on Twitter to see what was being told, he felt his blood starting to boil in anger.

You can see it on his face even now that you’re back. You had managed to make it back to the venue, this time with Amelia beside you, just in time for soundcheck and despite the fact that Matty sounds amazing, it’s written all over his face just how much this is all bothering him still.

On the way back to the venue, you told Amelia what happened and the boy's reaction to it, so she was up to date. But despite the slight atmosphere, you weren’t going to let it affect your best friend's birthday.

The boys greet her warmly when she arrives and they all ask how she’s been. She gives you all the gossip that you’ve missed out on from the chicken shop offices along with other industry stuff that she’s heard. The boys find it quite amusing watching you both back together, it’s easy for them all to see you’ve both missed each other, it’s certainly like what any of them would be like with any long time apart.

Before long, it’s time to soundcheck and whilst you see Matty’s mood dip a little at that, you don’t comment on it despite it being written all over his face. The last thing you think would be helpful is drawing attention to it in front of everyone. So you just peck his lips quickly before you part ways and you head down to the pit with Amelia, fully intending to dance to a few songs with your best friend. And dance you do, to Too Shy, It’s Not Living, She’s American, and a couple more. However, the short practice takes a turn.

It surprises you when the singer turns to George and tells him they’re soundchecking Pressure right after they’ve finished soundchecking Oh Caroline. You feel your chest contract as you hear him angrily spout the lyrics, constantly taking sips of the water bottle that he keeps throwing to the ground beside his feet and rubbing his face like being in his own skin is annoying him.

The feeling in your chest gets even worse when after a few songs, he mumbles something into the mic and the lads start playing Me.

The second the song starts and you recognise it, you feel your heart sinking and you can’t even try and force a smile at Matty when he catches a glimpse at you. His eyes almost evade you as if it hurts him to have you seen him this way, but he keeps getting annoyed at every little thing from then on.

First, he keeps complaining about the volume of his mic compared to the rest of the instruments and after the third time he signals the sound guys to change it, he huffs and rolls his eyes as he gives up on everything. The next thing that happens is that he messes up the lyrics and makes them all start again, and that happens twice which has Ross grumbling under his breath at Matty.

Unsurprisingly, you and your best friend watch as the tension sweeps over the stage. The bassist muttering things clearly annoys Matty a bit more than it normally would and it seems like his thoughts start tangling together after that because he misses a line and starts later than he should’ve and the second he realises his mistake, he explodes in anger.

“No- Stop. Stop!” His arms are wailing around, brows in a permanent frown and his cheeks a hint of pink from how worked up he’s getting, “It’s all wrong!”

Adam lets his head hang at the outburst and George just watches Matty like he’s trying to find the best words to approach him with but Ross has had enough with his attitude so he just airs out his thoughts without much of a filter, “If you’re gonna change the setlist last minute then at least fucking try to properly soundcheck it mate. We’re all doing our parts alright.”

Matty knew they were all playing it right and it was just him who was unable to get it together and at least practice it well, “I fucking know Ross, okay?!” He’s almost shaking from anger, feeling like Ross isn’t even trying to understand where he’s coming from, “Fucking hell. Go and get called a fucking Nazi and see how it feels.”

“You think that hasn’t upset us all?!” Ross hisses in annoyance, “We fucking get it Matty but you’re being a right dick right now.”

“You know that it isn’t true so why are you letting it get to you this much? You’ve never let this shite get to your head before, why now?” Ross has a point with what he’s saying but the reasoning goes over Matty’s head when the bassist adds, “We’ve been through shit like this before, just stop caring like you always do.”

Matty takes is the wrong way and he’s fuming as he says, “And what’s that fucking meant to mean?” He doesn’t even let Ross speak though, because he’s quick to interrupt whatever he’s about to say with a scoff, “You’re such a fucking twat, Macdonald. That’s it. I’m not doing this anymore.”

Not even caring to put the microphone back on its stand, Matty throws it to the side and starts walking off stage, long strides that have Ross shaking his head, “Yes, fucking leave. ‘Cos that’s the best solution.”

Matty turns around to spout a venomous “Fuck you Ross.” and the last thing you hear him say before he disappears back inside the venue is, “Great fucking friend you are, you arsehole.”

You’re fully speechless watching all that happen before you, Amelia squeezes your forearm in shock and that snaps you out of your trance.

Your eyes go to Ross, who looks away when your eyes meet, then to George who just gives you a crooked smile and finally to Adam, who smiles softly at you like he’s trying to comfort you from afar.

“It’s just one of his tantrums, he’ll be alright.” Adam waves off as he sets his guitar on its stand, “He just needs a bit of time.”

You nod and sigh, the heaviness in your chest becoming more prominent, “Should I go check on him?”

“If you want?” George says once he’s down from where his kit is set up and shrugs at you with a bit of worry on his face.

Ross is the one to warn you though, “He might snap at you though, so don’t take it personal if he does.”

“Right.” You nod absentmindedly, trying to think of where Matty might be. You let your bottom lip free from between your teeth and turn to your best friend before you’re off to find your boyfriend, “Sorry Ames, I’ll be right back.”

Shooting Amelia an apologetic look, you start walking past her and she manages to get a little chuckle from you when she calls, “S’okay. Go get your man.”

You make a dash for the backstage area and arrive at the greenroom the quickest you can, and thankfully Matty is right there pacing the room with his head in his hands. His hair is sticking out in every direction from how much he’s pulling on it in frustration.

Careful to not startle him, you clear your throat as you walk into the room and stop when you’ve barely crossed the threshold. “Baby-” You try to ask him if he’s alright, but he interrupts your words when he looks up at you, red eyes with tears threatening to spill out at any second, and basically throws himself into your arms.

The weight of his body hitting yours has a huff slipping past your lips but your arms are quick to clutch him tightly and you allow him to just silently cry into you again. Instantly, you start whispering sweet nothings as you try to calm him down, but nothing works for a while.

Slowly, you guide the both of you to the nearest settee and when you take a seat on it, you encourage him to get comfortable with you. He has his legs thrown over your lap, his head hidden away in the crook of your neck and his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

Matty is fully silent the whole time, just letting everything out on you and you try your best not to get upset yourself as he cries. 10 minutes must go by when he sniffles continuously and takes deep breaths as if trying to calm himself down, and he lifts his head up once he’s managed to stop crying but not before leaving a bunch of pecks on your neck.

“I’m such a twat, I’m so-” He tries to apologise in a panic, retreating to his space on the settee so he peels himself off you and that has you frowning.

“Don’t.” You interrupt his attempt at an apology and turn to him with a soft expression, your hand comes up to his face and cups it, thumb rubbing on his cheek and feeling the stubble creeping on his skin. “It’s okay, baby. Nothing to apologise for. You feeling a bit better?”

Your boyfriend lets his eyes close at your touch and he hums as confirmation in complete honesty. He’s so glad he can let himself be this vulnerable into you and he certainly notices just how much comfort you bring him because just your presence helps him settle down a bit after what had happened.

“Good.” You mumble in response and, cradling his head, you pull him onto you so he can rest on your chest while you hug him.

Despite all the bullshit that has gone down, seeing how you react in this situation and how you comfort him has his chest swelling. There’s no denying it anymore that you’re one of the best things that has ever happened to him and some thoughts start to clear up in his mind, all about the feelings he has towards you and a hint of how he might’ve underestimated them a little.

About 5 more minutes go by before the band and Amelia come back into the greenroom, their chatter quieting down when they walk into the room. They are wary about the state Matty was in and they don’t really want to disturb him if it was affecting him that much. There will be a much better moment to talk about it later so they will keep their mouths shut about it until the time comes to bring it up.

Amelia walks up to the drinks table and gets you and herself a water bottle, it really is so that you can give it to Matty because she doesn't want to disturb the singer. But when she walks up to you and hands you the bottle, you smile at her and thank her and the mention of her name makes Matty lift his head up to see your best friend.

He offers Amelia a forced side smile and you’re both surprised when he says, “M’sorry for ruining your birthday Ames.”

Amelia clicks her tongue and waves him off, “You haven’t! There’s nothing to apologise for, Matty.”

Your boyfriend gets himself up and pulls her into another hug, “Let me make you a drink, as an apology.”

“Maybe that apology I will accept.” Amelia giggles and she gives Matty a tight squeeze.

Your curly haired brunette smiles at your best friend before letting her go, and he looks between you and her before clapping and rubbing his hands together, “Let’s get the party started then.”

You don’t get in the way of that at all, George gets involved immediately grabbing a can out of the fridge and Rebekka and Polly all grab drinks too. Thankfully once music gets put on, the atmosphere settles a little and you relax that little bit more. And you’re really thankful to everyone wanting to make Amelia’s day special.

After you all end up having your first drink and raising your glasses to your best friend, you quickly grab your boyfriend’s attention for a moment, just to tell him, “I’m just gonna run to the bus. I need to get something, very quickly.”

“You remember the way back here, right?” Matty double checks, and he’s about to offer to come back with you until you assure him.

“I do.” You promise, and you cheekily ask, “Can you please make me another one of those cocktails for when I get back?”

Matty just grins though, “Of course baby.”

Quickly, you kiss him before you head out and Matty’s heart races that little bit when you turn back before you walk out and you catch him smiling at you.

He feels himself blush at the way you wink at him before you disappear off and he takes a second to calm down before he preps the drink you requested. He chats to your best friend with ease and Matty can tell himself getting that little bit better because she provides him with a good distraction. Even if she is jokingly asking if you’re boring him on tour yet or if your excitement has dwindled during the gigs.

When you come back 10 minutes later, everyone notices because when you come back in because as you do, you flick the lights off and when all eyes go to the door, they see you smiling with a birthday cake in your hands. You start off singing Happy Birthday to your best friend and you walk toward her with a grin and laugh through the lyrics when you see her cackling at the fact you have bought her a children’s Spiderman cake.

You’re glad she found it funny as all of this Andrew Garfield hype definitely wasn’t going to leave her anytime soon. After you set the cake down just before the song finished, Amelia blew out her candles and turned to you to give you the biggest hug ever. She thanks you a bunch of times and you giggle telling her how much you love her and have missed her and that you hope she has a fantastic day. After you say how excited you are for her to open her presents, and she promises she’ll open them when you both get back to the hotel, she notices that you’ve changed.

“Outfit change?” Amelia asks with a grin, as she knows exactly where she’s seen this outfit on you before.

You grin and nod, “Had to get my party fit on, Ames.”

“Course.” She laughs, and you notice the way Matty grins as he realises what you’ve changed into as she says, “You look hot.”

You wink at her and smile, “Thanks bestie.”

She winks back at you before turning around herself and heading over to socialise with Ross.

“Party outfit?” Your boyfriend moves over and wraps his arm around your waist. He can’t help but knowingly ask, “You’re wearing this for me?”

He doesn’t even have to ask. He knows you are. Why else would you be wearing red leather pants paired with a cheetah print, long sleeve top?

You shrug nonchalantly, trying not to let the grin tug at your lips, “Maybe?”

“Brings back good memories.” Matty says as he comes around to stand in front of you and he wraps his arms around your waist.

You feel heat rise to your cheeks at the thought of your first date. You genuinely can’t believe that your favourite singer is now your boyfriend, and it all started in a chicken shop in Cricklewood. “Amazing memories.”

Matty has genuinely never been so glad he agreed to an interview. And yes maybe he will eventually admit that he requested to have the date with you, but he’s beyond glad that he did because you have changed his life so much, and it’s certainly for the better.

“The bandana is missing though.” He points out with a soft pout on his face, you can’t hold back from pressing a quick kiss on his lips.

“I didn’t pack it. Sorry baby.” You truly wish you had taken that red bandana with you now but you think the outfit looks recognizable enough without it.

He quickly finds a solution in his head, “I can sort that out.” A red bandana is easy to get, he figures.

“‘Course you can.” You scoff out a laugh, but your amusement settles deep in your chest to add to the adoration you feel for this man. “Kinda wish it was raining right now, you know?” Your voice raises in pitch slightly and your smile grows bigger on your face when you think back to that moment, “Wanna kiss you in the rain again.”

Matty blushes and smiles so big, it reaches his eyes, wrinkles showing at the edges and it makes you melt as he says, “Do you?”

You hum as you nod, “I really do.” And just to taunt him you feign pity as you say, “What a shame, isn’t it?”

His eyes go from your down to your lips and up again continuously, you lick your bottom lip purposely as if daring him to kiss you but he sighs shakily and agrees, “What a shame.”

You want to laugh, his self control clearly crumbling because his gaze keeps dropping down to your lips, so you wrap your arms around his neck and with a toothy smile, you say, “Just kiss me, silly.” and Matty is not one to say no to anything you want.

However, your kiss is interrupted by Amelia and Ross gagging loudly beside you as they approach you with shots in hand. Turns out having tequila shots was the birthday girl’s wishes and you are pushed to downing the hellish liquid multiple times while you wait for the show to start.

Right before you’re off to the pit, you all have a little toast to the tour and to Amelia and it’s so cute being part of this little family. It warms your heart looking back and seeing how everyone had welcomed you into the tour and it’s even more special when you see your best friend also be treated like one of the family.

You’ve caught her giggling around with the band all night, having long conversations with Polly and Ross and even whispering about god-knows-what to Matty before you leave. It has you curious how they seem to be scheming something in secret until the very last minute you have in the greenroom.

But you forget to ask what they were talking about when you’re rushing out of the greenroom and it’s hilarious because, since you’re so tipsy, you and Amelia are giggling uncontrollably as you make your way through the pit.

Your note tonight is perfect for what Matty has schemed with Amelia, and he thinks it’s such a cute coincidence that you’ve written, Baby you look so cool x (you’d originally written babe but scribbled the e and written a y just underneath it) without knowing what is going to happen when the band starts playing Robbers.

Next comes the Charlie Chaplin cover of Smile which never fails to make you do just that, even if Matty acts all drunk and lonely on stage as he sings. You think it’s a beautiful song and you’re so happy that you’d got to see him sing it so often. But what happens next shocks you and the entire arena beyond belief.

It sobers you up watching the bit play out on stage, unbelievably so when you see Matty break down into tears holding Ross’ shoulder and apologising to him as Ross is forced to stand there and not react. You can’t even tell if he’s crying for the bit or not, it worries you.

As soon as you knew the consumption interlude was coming, you headed backstage needing to know if everything was alright because even though he had played 6 more songs after that bit had happened, he seemed a bit off.

So you appeared backstage and your arms opened up for him to run into them the second you saw him and you’re so glad he clutches you tightly and promises you he’s alright after you ask him if there was something bothering him.

He didn’t have much time to stay and chat to you, since the crew had gotten the stage ready for the at their very best section quickly so you reluctantly let him go with a sweet kiss that he thoroughly enjoys despite being rushed back onto stage.

Once he’s gone back on stage with the lads, you figure it’s better for you to be close to the stage just in case he gets upset again, so you go to the far left side of the stage where typically the crew watch the show from and stay there for the rest of the show.

Or at least that is what you were planning to do until your boyfriend takes the opportunity of An Encounter drowning the arena to start a little monologue which sparks your curiosity.

Matty smiles into the microphone and adjusts his in-ears as he walks over to the edge of the stage and leans forward as if he’s about to tell the crowd a secret. “You know, this next song has become a lot more special this past month and I wanted to share with you the reason for why that is.”

Listening to those words knowing that Robbers is next makes you turn slowly to your best friend and you find Amelia smiling brightly as you and you just know she has to do something with this because of the mischievous glint in her eyes.

There isn’t a chance for you to even ask about what’s happening when she drags you into the back of the stage and up the stairs so that you’re right beside the house. You’re so confused but you have to take quick steps so you don’t fall and it is when you’re almost by the door of the house that she pulls out a piece of red fabric and when a bit of light manages its way over where you are standing, you realise it’s a red bandana - the one you were missing.

“Put this on.” Amelia holds the bandana out for you.

But you’re so confused about everything, and why you’ve been moved to behind the stage, and what the bandana is even for, so you blankly ask, “What?”

“God- Okay,” Amelia half laughs, before she takes control of the situation as your confusion isn’t helping, “I’ll put it on you then.”

Your best friend spins you around so she can tie the material at the back of your head before turning you back and adjusting the bandana so it’s over your nose and it’s in the perfect position.

“What’s going on?” You ask as she’s doing this.

Your confusion doesn’t help when you can also hear screams from the audience and Matty’s muffled voice too. Clearly somethings going on and you’ve been left in the dark.

Your best friend looks you dead in the eye and pleads, “Trust me okay.” But you can’t settle.

“Ames, what’s happening?” You repeat yourself and she must be able to see the panic in your eyes because she answers you.

“You’re gonna go out there for something your boyfriend has planned.”

It’s an instinctive reaction to immediately be defensive, “What?! No!”

“Yes, come on!” Amelia grins, and quickly goes on to guilt trip you, “For me? For my birthday?”

“Ames…” You trail off, feeling like you’re frozen because you have no idea what you’re meant to do. Especially when she hands you a black bandana.

But your best friend spells it out for you, “As soon as Matty opens the door, you’re gonna tie this around his neck, okay?”

“Okay.” You say in a bit of a rush, your blood flooding with adrenaline so you blindly accept what she’s telling you. She adjusts your red one on your nose again, making sure it’s perfectly positioned as she instructs, “And keep this one around yours.”

You not without really knowing you’re agreeing yet you respond, “Okay.”

“Good luck,” She grins at you like a proud mother, “You got this.”

“Amelia-” You’re about to beg her for something more, but before you can the door in front of you opens, almost making you jump.

Your boyfriend stands at the open door with his hand already out for you to grab, the dreamiest smile on his face and you’re so nervous, you’re feeling a rush of a million emotions in one second.

And then your gaze drops to his chest in full show because his shirt is open and when you realise he’s somehow managed to get the Robbers shirt and is proudly wearing it for the song. It knocks the wind out of you, your throat goes dry at your lack of knowledge of what’s about to happen that involves you but Matty looks so happy compared to earlier that you’re willing to take part of whatever he’s planned.

That sultry, “Hey baby.” which makes your stomach flutter, snaps you out of the initial shock.

“What are we doing?” You ask through the bandana, almost frozen in your spot but he encourages you to take a small step forward.

“Putting on a show.” He pulls back and grins before he looks down at you and squeezes your hand as he says, “You look gorgeous.”

“I-” Whilst the compliment makes you blush, you’re not really sure it’s the time as you want more instructions from him than flattery. Regardless though, you end up stuttering a, “Thank you.”

“I got you baby. Let’s go.” Matty squeezes your hand tightly and this time you don’t hesitate to step out to him as you hear An Encounter begin to fade into your favourite song. Your boyfriend turns to you once more at the entryway to his house, the both of you just beside Rebekka and he still shields you from most people as he leans down to say into your ear, “Do what we did the other day in soundcheck, okay. I’ll stand on the table and when I go to sit down you crouch, okay?”

“Okay.” You nod complacently.

Kneel down in front of him, you can do. You’ve had practice at this point and you’ll be fine.

Your boyfriend checks once more, looking into your eyes intently for any discomfort you may be feeling as he asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” You promise him, nodding.

You trust Matty completely. If he wants you to do this, and be a part of his show, you’re going to do it as best you can.

The singer grins, leaning down again quickly to promise, “I got you.” and as you smile beneath the bandana, he also kisses just over your ear which makes you get flustered all over again.

And then suddenly you’re hit with a mass of screams and it’s difficult to even listen to the music that is being played around you. If you didn’t have those in-ears already in you would be fucked.

Matty walks just one step in front of you, pulling you across towards George, but only for a step until he turns back towards you and pulls you into his body. His hand lands on your waist and he slow dances you towards the white door as the drums kick in and everyone screams again.

Little do you know, more screams take place because on the screen, it comes up with, Special Guest: New Robbers Girl. It’s a detail which you will certainly be laughing at later but in the moment you have no idea as your boyfriend is dancing you across his stage.

You giggle, knowing exactly what he’s doing and what he’s referencing as you dreamed about someone doing this with you when you were younger and you first watched the music video that still to this day has you in a chokehold. Despite your heart beating wildly, you let him lead you like that, spinning you both around until you are through the door and see Polly and Jamie who give you big smiles.

That’s the moment Matty frees you from the short dance but he pulls your arm until it's fully extended and you’re gently dragged along in the direction of the stairs. It's again another reference to the beginning of the music video and you love it with all your heart.

When you reach the bottom of the stairs, it doesn’t take you long to reach the place where you know you’re gonna be standing which is right by the coffee table and once your boyfriend turns you around by the waist so you’re facing him, you catch Adam smiling at you and it definitely helps to settle your nerves a bit.

But Matty starting to sing brings all of your attention back to him, goosebumps erupt all over your skin at the charged energy of the arena and the way he sounds with the crowd singing along.

In your hands remains the bandana Amelia gave you just before the door opened, and you remember what you’re meant to do with it when you clutch it tightly between your fingers. So you bring it up to his neck so you can tie it on the back, but your actions still when he sings the next line staring directly into your eyes.

“God only knows but you’ll never leave her,” the conviction in his eyes makes you melt inside, your knees get weak and your heart swells and the flood of every feeling this man brings you comes in even stronger when he reiterates into the mic, “Never.”

You aren’t sure how you manage to tie the bandana around his neck when that happens, but you’re soon smoothing your hands from his shoulders down to his sweaty taut chest and you genuinely feel like you need to pinch yourself just to make sure you aren’t dreaming.

His fingers wrap around your wrist and slowly he walks backwards until he hits the coffee table and he gets up on it. He doesn’t even have to guide you where to go because you’re positioning yourself right in front of him, looking up as he continues to sing.

The lights on stage showcase his beauty, and you can’t help but get lost in how good he looks in his element. It’s different seeing it from up close, the brown of his eyes glistening under the lighting and his curls being illuminated like a halo around his head.

“Begging babe stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.” You watch him intently and you can’t help but grin at the way he nudges the microphone against your chin for that final stay.

Matty can tell just how big your smile is from the way your eyes are half closed and the apples of your cheeks moving to bring the bandana up the slightest bit. And he smiles just as brightly, nothing has ever felt more right to him than this.

As he’s singing, “One more fight,” Matty slowly steps down from the table and you know your queue. You start to kneel down and when you do Matty sits on the end of the table.

You’re singing along with him, not giving a shit if he can hear you or not or whether it’s ruining what he had planned but you can’t help yourself. He’s singing your favourite song to you.

He reaches the first, “Will I know you.” and as Adam’s guitar begins to ring in the background, Matty leans in and you know what’s coming. You welcome the way he gently grabs your jaw over your bandana and he pulls you in.

In the short gap between the verses, Matty presses his lips over yours, through the red material you’re wearing, and you can’t help but smile as you close your eyes to kiss him back. It’s a weird sensation, kissing but not quite, but you can feel his smile through it and you can see the joy on his face when you both pull away seconds after the crowd erupts in screams.

What the fuck is happening? Is all that’s going through your mind at the moment.

Your mind just can’t really grasp reality at the minute, not when your boyfriend is making one of your teenage dreams come true. Hell, your boyfriend is your teenage dream come true.

Both of you stay in that position as he continues onto the second verse, with you singing along as he looks into your eyes. Matty can tell you’re doing this, and he doesn’t need to see beneath the material to know that your lips are pulled into a huge smile, he can tell just from your eyes alone.

“You’ve got a pretty kind of dirty face.” Matty grins over his microphone as he sings that line at you. But he doesn’t stop there, he gently traces his finger down the centre of your face as he does and it has people screaming that little bit louder, along with you doing the same internally.

As he continues, he doesn’t let his touch stray for long. Instead, he takes a piece of your hair and starts toying with it. Twirling it around his finger over and over as he sings, “And when she’s leaving you’re home, she’s begging you to stay, stay, stay, stay, stay.”

Your eyes glimmer with adoration and your heart feels like it’s about to burst in your chest when he sings, “There’ll be a riot, cause I know you.” and he takes a hold of your wrist where ‘Be a riot’ is inked on your skin and he plants a chaste kiss over it.

It isn’t long that you can stay short circuiting over the gesture, because he’s sliding his hand up from your wrist to intertwine your fingers and helping you back up to stand on your feet.

The song starts building up, his voice becoming more passionate and so does his touch which goes from your hand to cup the side of your neck, bringing you a step closer to him. His fingers lace through the strands of your hair, twirling them softly before letting them fall.

And you know it then, what he’s going to do, knowing which line is sneaking up on you and you nod, reading his mind about it. It’s subtle and reassuring, and it’s warmth that envelopes you as it pours out of both of you when you know that this is it.

Matty’s finger tentatively comes to rest over the bridge of your nose, hooking on the edge of the bandana and he slowly peels it down your face as he sings, “But if you just take off your mask,”

The screams of the crowd when your face is finally revealed are deafening, yet it feels like you’re inside of a bubble. Just you and Matty. No one else. And this is your moment, just you two and there’s absolutely nothing else you could ever wish for.

Your cheeks hurt from how big you’re smiling, and his own smile is making it harder for him to continue singing. That and how badly he wants to seal this moment with a kiss, how badly he wants for everyone to know just how strongly he feels about you, how badly he wants for everyone to see how you’ve got him at your mercy entirely because he’s sure there’s nothing you could ever ask that he wouldn’t do.

“Sing it for me babies!” Matty shouts to the audience and he holds the microphone out towards them so they can scream, ‘Now everybody’s dead!’ but your boyfriend has other ideas for you two.

With his other hand, Matty cups the back of your neck and firmly and fiercely kisses you as the crowd screams the lyrics at the both of you. He lets the wire fall over his arm as he drops the microphone so he can get it again with ease later, but he brings his now free hand to your waist, wrapping it around your lower back pulling you into him, until he consumes you entirely.

It’s instinctive that your hand roots into his curls at this point, the other grabbing hold of his open shirt, pulling it towards you making sure he can’t escape either. Your heart is pounding, entirely running on adrenaline, and completely overwhelmed with the feelings you have for the man who’s holding you in his arms.

Matty never wants to let you go and you hope he doesn’t either. Over the loud screams you can barely hear the song anymore but you know he’s missed more than just that one lyric. It’s only when you just about hear the others singing through your in-ears, “He’s got his gun.” that you realise you’ve both got too wrapped up in the moment.

Yet, still in your hazy mind, you manage to register your favourite part of the song and you’re the one who pulls back and breaks the kiss solely to tell him, “Babe, you look so cool.”

His face is flushed, curls dishevelled just how you like them and that loopy smile on his face that melts your heart, and he looks into your eyes in a way that you just can’t describe, his lips parting and letting a soft exhale to hit your mouth before he sings to you, “You look so cool.”

Suddenly, he remembers he’s meant to sing so he’s hastily getting ahold of the mic again, but he interrupts himself and cuts the run he’s meant to do as he sings the word ‘cool’ when he watches your lips move as you sing along and he can’t be arsed singing anymore when you’re right there in front of him.

He throws the mic to the floor, the wire falling down his arm so he’s free to cup your face with both hands and pressing your lips together feverishly. His arms wrap around the back of your neck, and he brings his hands up to your hair to pull on it softly once before he’s crossing his forearms behind your head so he can pull you impossibly closer to him.

You moan softly into his mouth at his desperation, matching it with the way your fingers dig into the flesh of his waist where you’re holding him tightly as if there was a chance that he could be snatched away from you if you weren’t careful. You kiss until you’re lost for breath, only parting when you need to for air but it's never for more than a split second.

There's a push and pull between you as the rest of the band finish playing the song with huge smiles on their faces. If Matty came into the kiss a little too strong you’d try and take a step backwards but he quickly follows you, keeping you in the kiss, and he would lean backwards pulling you forwards.

The song unfortunately ends and that's when you force yourself to pull back from the kisses. But when you do, Matty just grins and he turns towards the crowd, pulling you with him and he moves so he can hug you from behind quickly so you can take in the applause.

“All for us baby.” He says into your ear, and you can’t help but turn around to quickly hug him, a little embarrassed being up here in front of so many people.

Your boyfriend giggles but doesn’t hesitate for a second to hug you back as the applause rings on. After a second though you pull back and Matty takes your hand in his and he starts moving the both of you back over to Adam’s side of the stage so you can get to the stairs.

Matty lets you walk in front of him, making sure you get up the stairs alright, and then he lets you walk back across the top of the stage towards the ‘front’ door. George and Rebekka grin at you as you walk past which gets you a little more embarrassed but you embrace it when you get to the door and you look out at the huge audience again.

You blow them all a kiss and give them a big wave and smile which makes everyone scream again and it makes you giggle. When you turn to look at your boyfriend again, he’s already grinning at you and he gives your hand a squeeze, and just the way he’s looking so cute and so gooey, you give him another kiss.

It’s quicker than your last few but it means just as much as those ones. You can feel each other's smiles which cuts it a little shorter but you’re grinning like fools when you step back towards the door again.

Like a gentleman he opens the door for you and as you’re about to go through he pulls you back in for another kiss. It’s a short kiss but it’s one you cherish so much, even more when you part and at the same time you both mouth, “Obsessed with you.” at each other. You take a step through the door but before you can walk through, you feel yourself get all flustered as he looks at you, before you can walk through the door though he holds your hip and tells you, “Wait here a second baby.”

Matty quickly pecks your lips one last time, before he jumps down from the top stage, onto the settee and then he quickly crouches down to pick up the microphone from near the edge of the stage where he threw it earlier. He sighs with a toothy grin on his face once his eyes are back on the crowd. Seeing this many people witness you and him finally out and not sneaking around makes him incredibly happy.

“Y/N Y/L/N, ladies and gentlemen.” His voice rings through the speakers, as he turns to watch you wave goodbye to the mass of people in front of the stage and you quickly blow him another kiss before you turn to walk back through the house’s door.

“Wow, what a girlfriend reveal!” Matty breathes out with a giggle at the end, as soon as you’ve disappeared behind the door. He’s so giddy, he just can’t conceal it and he doesn’t really want to so he gives in and proudly shares with the crowd as he grabs he walks up and down the stage, “I’m a very lucky man. The luckiest in fact, can you believe I’ve managed to snag one of the hotties from Chicken Shop Date?”

The crowd gets loud again but the noise doesn’t stop the thoughts from leaving the singer’s mouth entirely unfiltered, “I know I can’t. Still have to pinch myself every morning when I wake up next to her. She’s truly the woman of my dreams.” Matty feels his cheeks get hot at the admission, a string of giggles slipping past his lips.

At least the screams he gets as a response feel like validation so he continues with it, “Sorry for being soppy but, I mean… You lot know her, how could I not?” He’s trying to elongate the mic’s wire, knowing which song is next on the setlist and how he’s gonna want to go all around the stage.

But as he finishes unknotting it and pulling it the most he can, he looks back up to the people before him and adds some more, “Isn’t she just fucking gorgeous as well?”

Matty truly could speak about you for hours, it’s not even been a month since you’ve officially gotten together but he has so many things about you pinned to the forefront of his mind and there’s so many things that he thinks about you that he could honestly find himself lost in sentences regarding all that you are and what you’ve achieved and every little thing you do.

So it’s no surprise that his tongue wants to let loose and spill all of these thoughts out but then he hears George call him, “Simp,” through his in-ears and all of the band giggles when it stops Matty in his tracks.

He turns around to look at the drummer with a glare and he calls him out, “Alright George, piss off. I don’t say shit when you’re with Charli.”

It makes the crowd laugh and holler, some of them spouting comments in the air that get lost in the chaos of so many people shouting at the same time but in a couple of seconds it settles and a particular scream manages to make itself clear out of the crowd and Matty cackles loudly into the mic, “Someone’s just said foursome.”

George laughs into the mic as well, and Matty manages to hear something along the lines of, “You can be in the corner recording.” in between the crowd’s loud screams at the prospect of the lewd proposition.

“Let’s not bring that back to Y/N’s attention please, I’ve already gone through that chat.” Matty admits with a cheeky smile, hoping that you’re listening to this and already picturing in his mind the way you must be flustered at this talk being had on stage in front of thousands of people.

And you are flustered, fanning yourself because you feel scorching hot after everything that has happened in the past ten minutes. So much so, you’ve had to sit down and you’re now watching the screens backstage as you listen to your boyfriend.

“I feel faint.” You let Amelia know, your brows are softly pinched together from how lightheaded and hot you’re feeling but still staring at the screen in front of you with a look that Amelia reads instantly.

With the adrenaline dying down, you can’t quite believe you’ve just done that. You got your robbers kiss, your moment to your favourite song that you’ve only dreamed about since 2013. And now, you and Matty are public. You can’t stop smiling despite the way your heart is beating out of your chest.

Amelia sits beside you, her arm going over your shoulder and she pulls you into her as she giggles before kissing your cheek.

“You’re down bad.” She concludes, she can see it written all over your face and it shines through your eyes and her heart swells in her chest for you.

She’s never seen you so happy.

Despite how soon it may be, you nod in confirmation, “I am.”

From the way your cheeks hurt from smiling so hard and the tingling you feel rushing to every corner of your being, you know it’s more than the adrenaline pumping through your veins that is making your heart beat wildly. After what just happened on stage, there’s no way you can deny that your feelings for Matty are getting stronger with every second you spend by his side.

It’s crazy. It’s rushed. It’s far too soon. You can almost clearly hear everyone telling you.

But you know in your heart, nothing and nobody has ever felt more right.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: We hope you enjoyed this one because we truly loved writing it so much. We were so emotional thinking about how this was originally the end, so glad we got more content to continue writing about! We just wanted to say that we’re not having the Friedland podcast in this story because we have no interest in touching that subject in a work of fiction that we consider an escape from reality. Instead, since this is a continuation of NRIACC Matty and he wouldn’t have ever taken part in that, we’re having the Brits as they were meant to happen and we’re so excited to write that evening and share it with you guys. Thanks so much for reading again, and for your patience and all the love you give this story, yous are the best! xx 

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[ecemf]

The Interview — Matty Healy

18+! MDNI!!!!!! Explicit!!!

Okay so I've never written fanfic or smut before so this could be ass but I just love jealousy sex & the idea of being on a red carpet so...

CW: smut, choking, dom/sub dynamics, dom!matty, sub!reader, use of y/n, alcohol usage, jealous!matty, possessive!matty, established relationship, thigh riding, i think that's it?? lmk if i missed anything

WC: ~3k

Ok I hope y'all like it ENJOY!!

The Interview.

The cameras are almost blinding as you stare out into the crowd of photographers shouting your name, trying to get the best angle for whatever publication they’re working for. Being a top executive at Sony Music meant you mostly worked behind the scenes; out of the spotlight. However, seeing as 18 artists on your label (five of which you yourself handpicked) were up for awards tonight, you couldn’t not show up to The Grammys. Besides, it felt good to dress up once in a while, especially if that meant wearing custom Chanel.

Continuing down the red carpet, you’re stopped by a reporter for Rolling Stone, Bryan Wilson. From the few brief interactions you’ve had with him at industry parties and the stories that have circulated about him, you know the guy’s a sleaze. But, given that there’s a Canon XF605 pointed directly in your face when he asks if you have time for a short interview, you smile sweetly and comply.

“You look stunning tonight, as always, Y/N”, he begins, in typical sleazy reporter fashion, “Can you tell us a little bit about what you’re wearing?” His eyes travel down the expanse of your body, grazing (quite slowly, to be frank) over the daring V-cut of your gown.

You couldn’t really blame him for checking you out, you did look incredible in this dress. Layers of black satin expertly draped over your body created an elegant but sexy silhouette complete with a plunging neckline and a timeless backless design. You knew you looked good, you didn’t need Wilson eye-fucking you to tell.

“Isn’t this The Rolling Stone?” You giggle in response, half-joking, “Shouldn’t you be asking me about Sony Records and leave the fashion questions to Vogue?” To the untrained ear, your tone is light-hearted and sincere, however, there’s an intended edge you’re hoping is coming through.

If he was picking up on the edge, he wasn’t showing it. Wilson continues on checking you out, responding “We hear about Sony Records enough, but it’s a treat to see the woman behind the magic,” he looks directly into the camera and gestures to your body, “especially when the woman looks like this!” He looks at you now, “Why don’t you give us a spin, Y/N?”

You clench your jaw into a tight smile, “You know, I’d really rather talk about the artists up for awards tonight. It’s a record-breaking night for my company, and I’m extremely proud to be here…” You’re trying your best to refocus the conversation on the real reason you’re on the red carpet tonight, but Wilson’s wandering eyes are making it difficult for you to focus on anything.

Finally feeling fed up, you clear your throat, “Sorry, Bryan, am I boring you?”

He breaks out of his stare from your chest and goes red. “Oh! No, I’m sorry I was just… looking at your necklace!” He gestures to the Tiffany & Co. pendant that hangs (conveniently for him) right between your boobs.

“Stunning, innit?” You hear your boyfriend say from behind you as he comes up and possessively wraps his arm around your waist on camera in a way that will definitely be circulating Twitter tomorrow. “Just bought it for her yesterday when I first got to see the dress.” Matty grips your right hip so tight that the satin puckers under his fingertips. You get a feeling he’s been watching this “interview” from afar.

“A beautiful necklace for a beautiful woman, indeed,” Wilson so boldly responds, either not noticing or not caring that Matty was already quite irritated.

With that final comment, Matty grips your hip even tighter, “Right, then,” he says shortly, “Cheers, mate!” He yells over his shoulder while quickly ushering you away from the train wreck of a media appearance.

“I’m gonna kill that guy,” he leans down to quietly whisper in your ear as the two of you make your way into the venue, “Staring at you like a piece of meat live on camera, isn’t he embarrassed?”

“It’s really not a big deal, baby,” you try to reassure him. And to you, it wasn’t, really, compared to some of the other harassment and objectification you’ve experienced in such a male-dominated industry, “He’s just some stupid reporter,”

“Yeah some stupid reporter who doesn’t know how to keep his stupid fucking eyes away from what’s mine,” he growls under his breath.

You grow a bit warm at your boyfriend’s possessive words and decide to push him a little further. “So what, people aren’t allowed to look at me now? We’re kind of on a red carpet if you haven’t realized,”

Matty rolls his eyes as the two of you take your seats at your assigned table. “You know what I mean,” he scoots a bit closer to you, wrapping his arm around your waist, “People can look at you all they want, but these,” he trails his hand up your torso, palming your left tit and slightly grazing its nipple through your dress with his thumb. You gasp. “These are mine, and you know that.” he says lowly into your ear.

This was going to be a long night.

—

Seven wins, two acceptance speeches, and a few too many bottles of champagne later, the ceremony was coming to an end. You were so proud of your artists, even those who hadn’t won tonight.

To your (and your aching feet’s) misfortune, your boyfriend was insistent on “making an appearance” at the afterparty, to “touch base with some important blokes”. You weren’t thrilled about the ordeal, but you had a nice buzz going from the free champagne earlier and figured a gin and tonic to top off the night wouldn’t hurt anyone. Boy were you wrong.

You were standing by the bar by yourself, watching Matty “touch base” with the aforementioned “blokes”. Nursing your second gin and tonic, you wonder how much longer their conversation will take, and when you can finally go home (and take your boyfriend to bed). As your mind indulges your fantasies of being fucked to sleep later, you hear an annoying and familiar voice from behind you.

“It breaks my heart to see such a gorgeous woman drinking alone,” no one other than Bryan Wilson saunters up beside you at the bar, “Where’s your man? You think he’d be smarter than to leave such precious goods unattended…” he slurs to you, obviously a few more deep than you were at this point in the night.

As Wilson drunkenly gets too close to you, you turn back to where Matty was talking to see him staring holes into the man’s skull, clenching and unclenching his fists. Your nearing-on-past-tipsy mind flashes back to your boyfriend’s words earlier, and his reaction to the reporter’s initial efforts towards you. You consider your options: 1) tell Wilson to fuck off and continue being bored by yourself at the bar, or 2) play this up a bit, make Matty jealous, have some fun, and probably go home early. Your sixth drink of the night tells you option two is far more enticing, and you agree.

You lean into Wilson a bit, closing some of the distance you were intentionally making. “Ever the flatterer, Bryan,” you lean back and give him a once-over, “I’m shocked that you’re still single, a handsome guy like you with such a smooth mouth on him.”

“It’s intentional baby,” he puts a hand on your arm - uh oh. “Why would I tie down this smooth mouth to one lucky lady? There’s plenty enough to go around…” and just as you think he’s about to make a move you feel a bruising grip on your upper arm tearing you away. Away from Bryan Wilson, away from the bar, away from the party.

You get your bearings and find yourself in a secluded hallway outside the party with your very angry, very sexy boyfriend staring you in the face. “What the fuck was that?” He spits at you, fuming.

“What was what?” You respond, looking up at Matty with your best doe eyes.

He cages your body in between his own and the wall of the hallway, “Don’t play stupid with me now, things can only get worse for you from here, pet.” As you look up at your very jealous partner, and feel the energy radiating off of him, you think to yourself that things can probably only get better.

You maintain your look of faux-innocence as you reply in your sweetest voice “Baby I was just talking to-“

“Don’t ‘baby’ me,” Matty growls as he grabs your throat and pushes you harder into the wall behind you. “You were letting that perv practically fuck you in front of everybody here. Making everyone think you’re anything but mine.” He pushes his hips into yours to punctuate the word, and you can feel how hard he is. Oh dear. Maybe it’s time to drop the act.

“I’m sorry, you were just taking so long talking to those guys, and I was getting so impatient and needy for you,” You bat your eyelashes in an attempt to seduce your way out of undoubtedly being fucked silly in some corner of this hotel right now. “I just want you to take me home, baby,” You run your hands down his chest, the way you know he likes.

Matty scoffs at this. “Aw, my poor little slut can’t wait longer than an hour for me to take her home and fuck her?” You feel a heat pool at your center from his words and absolute condescension. His hand around your neck comes up to grip your jaw, holding your head so that you can’t look anywhere but his eyes. “So fucking pathetic. Having to whore yourself around in public so that I can give you some attention? Trying to embarrass me in front of all our colleagues meanwhile, the only thing embarrassing is how stupid you look letting that scumbag put his hands on you,”

He holds your face an inch away from his own, his eyes searching for a response in yours. “I think you may need to be reminded just who you belong to.” He says darkly. And with that, he’s dragging you again, this time into the bathroom at the other end of the hallway.

As soon as the door closes he has you pressed up against it face-first. He wastes no time undoing the back of your dress, practically ripping it off of your body. You hope he doesn’t do any damage to the new gown, but to be honest, you’re not sure you care in this moment either way. Upon removing the dress, your boyfriend can see that you’ve forgone any undergarments (half because of the dress itself, half because you knew it would drive him crazy - which it does).

“Oh my fucking god,” he practically moans when he sees your now naked form pressed up against the door for him. “You’ve been ready for me all night, haven’t you princess?” He whispers in your ear, pressing himself to your back, slightly grinding into your bare ass. You squirm with his words and the minimal stimulation he provides.

“Well let’s just take a look,” He reaches his hand around from where he’s standing and drags a finger through your soaking folds agonizingly slowly. Your breath hitches. “Oh my poor girl,” he tuts, “how long have you been soaking through your dress baby?” He resumes his teasing, touching everywhere that isn’t your clit or your entrance. You whine and push your hips back in protest.

Matty grabs you by your waist and holds you in place against the door. “I think I asked you a question, slut.” He barks. You only grow wetter at his words and his toying.

“Since-“ you start, but you’re cut off by a moan when he takes his free hand to pull on your left nipple. His teasing is almost overwhelming, and you’re not sure you even remember the question the way your head is clouded with lust and need.

You’re pulled out of your hazy state by a hard slap to your pussy, “Since what? Huh? I haven’t even taken my cock out and you’re already fucked dumb. Answer me. How long have you been this wet?” He asks again, rolling your nipple between his fingers while inching closer and closer to your entrance with his calloused hand.

“Since you were grabbing my hips on the red carpet,” you manage to stutter out “during the interview.”

With that answer, he removes both of his hands from you. You put your hands up to brace yourself from slamming into the door from your newfound loss of support. Matty laughs darkly.

“So that’s what this is about, huh angel?” He grabs you by your hips, spinning to face him and pushing you even harder into the door behind you, “you like it when I get riled up, so I’ll treat you like the whore that you are?”

You look up at him with your glazed-over eyes and nod dumbly.

“Well here’s the problem with that,” Matty begins sucking on your neck harshly, no doubt leaving bruises, “You… are… my… whore… no… one… else’s…” he punctuates every word by leaving a new mark on your chest with his mouth. He takes a step back, admiring his handiwork. “Gorgeous,” he mutters as he admires your now hickey-covered tits, “you should really see this baby.”

Matty leads you over to the sink of the bathroom, turning you around to see your naked and marked-up form in the mirror. Looking at the new marks on your chest, you realize that he’s left them in the distinct pattern of your dress’s neckline, meaning there’s no hiding them. No hiding the fact that you’re his. You squeeze your thighs together at the thought.

Leaning over your shoulder in the mirror, you watch as your boyfriend trails his hand down your body to the place you need him most. Unsurprisingly, though, he doesn’t touch you, he simply ghosts his hand over the outside of your now sopping heat. You press yourself into him.

“Please, baby,” you whine, making your best puppy eyes in the mirror at him. “Please, I need you to touch me.” You’re so desperate he doesn’t even need to ask you to beg.

“Do you think you deserve to be touched?” He responds, continuing his teasing, “You’ve been quite a bad girl tonight, baby. And bad girls don’t get what they want.”

“I’ll be good, I promise,” you beg even more, tears forming at your eyes with the desperation he’s built in you.

“Prove it,” Matty responds, trailing his hand up to your mouth. You gladly take his digits in, watching as he toys with you and stretches you out, wishing he would do that in other places. You hear the clinking of his belt, and you perk up, thinking that maybe he’s just going to put you out of your horny misery and fuck you already, but of course he’s not.

“Can’t have you getting yourself all over my nice trousers now can we love?” He says as he pulls his pants down to his ankles. You watch still with all four of his fingers in your mouth as he takes his newly naked thigh and roughly slots it in between your legs from behind. Your eyes roll back at the much-needed friction it provides. Matty leans in, “Right then. Be a good girl and ride my thigh, hm? You’re gonna have to get yourself off before I believe you after tonight’s theatrics.”

Embarrassing as it may be, you are in no condition to care in this moment. You immediately start feverishly fucking your boyfriend’s thigh, moaning around his fingers at the friction you’ve been needing all night, a ball already forming in the pit of your stomach. Not more than a second after your head falls forward in relief, your boyfriend grabs you by your hair to force you to look in the mirror, “Nuh-uh” he growls, “You’re gonna watch while you fuck yourself on my thigh. You’re gonna see just how pathetic you are, crying with relief and coming undone when I’ve not even touched you.”

Matty’s words and the sight of him and you in the mirror add to the very quickly growing warmth in your body. Your skin is on fire as you grip the sink in front of you, trying to use whatever leverage you can to get yourself off faster. You take one hand to start kneading your tits, playing with your nipples, hoping some added stimulation will help; you whine at the new sensation.

“There you go princess, that’s it,” he coos in your ear, “so good f’me, taking directions so well baby.”

The praise goes straight to your core and you can feel yourself clench around nothing. Matty can tell by your breathing that you’re close, so he grabs you by your hips to help you, moving you back and forth on his thigh, assisting in your rhythm. “Come on my thigh,” he demands in your ear; and you do. That white-hot pleasure you’ve been chasing since you saw your boyfriend on the red carpet this afternoon finally washes over you. But it’s not enough.

Matty takes his fingers out of your mouth but keeps you firm against him. As you come down from your high, you look at him in the mirror desperately. Your orgasm was, well, an orgasm, but you know it could be so much better if he would just fuck you.

“Matty please,” You whine, still making sweet eye contact, “Baby, I need more.”

Matty nods his head in the direction of the door. “Put your dress on, love,” You think you might cry, until he whispers in your ear, “I’m not done with you yet, princess.”

---------

Ahh!! Should I write a pt. two when the couple gets home?? Thank y'all for reading my first smut omfg I can't believe I did this...

[fetushrrygf]

…

[toomuchracket]

if you're too shy (office nerd!matty x reader fluff)

in which the other music journalist at the magazine you work at is the cutest weird boy you've ever met. enjoy <3

in hindsight, coming back from a two-week holiday the same day the magazine goes to print was a misguided idea.

your editor-in-chief tells you as much when you enter the office, pulling you into a half hug. “don't get me wrong, it's lovely to see you,” she says, scraping her hair back into a bun and securing it with a pencil. “but you'll be doing nothing all day, i'm afraid. maybe some last minute proofing, but i think everyone in nightlife and reviews has been alright. double-check with marianne.”

you do just that, weaving your way through people running copy and coffee between departments until you reach your own. it's mercifully quiet compared to everywhere else, the ten or so people dotted at desks around the sunlit room looking at their laptops and wearing headphones; you actually have to flick marianne on the back of the head to get her to notice you. “oi.”

“who the- oh, hi!” marianne's face softens when she sees it's you, and she stands to pull you into one of her infamously bone-crushing hugs before pulling back to get a good look. “well, you look annoyingly well-rested. but i suppose a fortnight in a spanish villa will do that to you. bitch.”

“i had a great time, thanks for asking,” you grin. “how’s everything been with you? stressful, without your star reporter?”

“well, for starters, you've been succeeded for that title.”

you frown only half-jokingly, scanning the room to try and guess which of your colleagues has replaced you as marianne's unofficial favourite. “who the fuck…?”

“language,” she lightly slaps your arm, in spite of the fact she was just about to say the same thing, then smiles suspiciously. “and i’m talking about our newest recruit.”

the brewing annoyance in your stomach dissipates immediately, replaced by a flock of tiny butterflies. “oh,” you try to keep your smile to a minimum. “that's okay. i like him.”

marianne sees right through you, though. she rolls her eyes. “oh, you would.”

“what?”

she sighs, motioning for you to lower your voice and modifying her own to a whisper. “he’s a curly-haired pretty-eyed vaguely scrawny white boy. you'd like him even if he didn't think the sun shone out of your arse.”

“marianne!” you hiss. “he does not!”

“don’t act all indignant, he has literally looked over at you once every thirty seconds since you walked in - and don't look, idiot, you'll freak him out. we need him on the ball, today of all days,” she rubs her eyes. “but yes, he’s very good at his job. i like him, even if i've no idea what in the world he goes off on his tangents about. great writer.”

“yeah, he is,” you risk a glance towards him, but all you can see is the back of his laptop - covered in stickers for things you can only name half of - and dark curls peeking out from the side of his headphones. “i like the references. different perspective from me, innit? that's why we hired him, after all.”

“who's we? you were too pissed off that i was hiring another music critic to agree to be part of the interviewing panel.”

you'd love to disagree, but you really were pissed when marianne and the other editors told you they were expanding the nightlife section. it didn't matter that it was in response to an increase in funding and readership, with the magazine switching to a print format as well as the online edition you'd contributed to since its creation - your fierce independence and pride meant you didn't take the news well, made you think it was an issue with your competence and writing ability that meant you'd be getting a new colleague. but once you were reassured that you'd still get to keep the Big Gigs and restaurant reviews to yourself, you were slightly more agreeable to the idea.

and once you actually met the new guy, stumbling over both his words and his own feet as he introduced himself, you couldn't quite remember why you'd been opposed in the first place.

“well,” you say, snapping back into reality. “thank goodness i'm over it now.”

“because you want to get under him?”

“no!” you stand indignantly, and then grin. “on top, maybe.”

“good grief,” your boss shakes her head. “don't you go bringing it up to him - excuse the pun - before this edition goes to the printers,” she points at you as you move to walk away. “or talking to him at all until then, actually, you hear me? i love you, but you're a distraction to him, and he's my best journo.”

“he's not, but alright,” you pat her head as you walk back towards the door. “i'll be in the staff room if you need me. and i won't talk to anyone, mum, i promise.”

“i'm only five years older than you!”

“whatever you say!” you reply in a singsongy voice, giggling to yourself as you wander towards the sunny kitchen. the little radio on the windowsill is on, as it always is, and you nod along to the cure while you wait for the kettle to boil. once you've made a cuppa (and grabbed a slack handful of the chocolate digestives marianne always keeps the cupboard stocked with), you settle at the table with your laptop, typing out ideas for your next feature and doing your best not to think about the boy down the corridor you've been instructed not to talk to for the time being. for the most part, you succeed.

that is, until he walks into the staff room two hours later.

you frantically wipe your face of biscuit crumbs as he does, smiling as sweetly as you can for someone with no idea if she has chocolate on her teeth or not. “hi, matty. how are you?”

“oh, hi! i'm, uh, i'm alright,” matty smiles widely enough that his verbal emotional downplaying is blatant - still, he's so cute, beaming at you like that with his little sweater paws. he’s always in a jumper or cardigan or hoodie of some kind, and on more than one occasion in the three months you've known him, you've absolutely thought about literally cosying up into him instead of doing any work. “how was spain? and the wedding - it was a family wedding you were going to, yeah?”

“that's right,” it’s not a big deal, but you glow at the fact he remembered. or maybe it's the soft intent he looks at you with. “it was lovely, yeah. although - wait, have we gone to print?” you ask, suddenly recalling marianne's instructions. “i'm not keeping you from work?”

matty's curls bounce as he shakes his head, light hitting off the metal hoop in his earlobe (that you're only mildly obsessed with). “we've gone. i'm just in here to get my lunch,” he pulls a tupperware from the fridge, cheeks rosy as he waves it. “made some soup last night.”

he makes his own soup. the thought is so endearing that it takes everything in you not to sigh; you settle for a smile. “carrot and coriander?”

“you can tell from one glance?”

you shrug. “s'my favourite.”

“really?” matty's face seems to light up. “mine too,” he busies himself with putting the tupperware in the microwave, taking his time pressing buttons and turning dials before looking bashfully at you. “so, you had a nice time at the wedding, then?”

“i did, thank you. do you, um,” you start, suddenly shy. “d'you want to see some photos from it, while you're waiting for the soup to heat up?”

he nods back just as shyly, sitting quite awkwardly on the seat next to yours; while you open your photos app, matty twists a stray curl around his finger, and the movement seems to send your nerves into vibration as well as the molecules in the air. with a series of shallow breaths, you locate the folder of the wedding pictures and set your phone on the table. “feel free to flick through them, if you like.”

“thank you,” matty sits forward, carefully swiping through the album. you lean on your elbow, doing your best not to beam adoringly at the way he looks intently at each photo before moving to the next. “the venue is really beautiful.”

“yeah, it was stunning.”

the next picture is one of you in your bridesmaid dress, taken by your sister the morning of the wedding. you watch, slightly heartsick, as matty's mouth falls open as he looks at you; the feeling worsens when he tentatively does the same thing in real life, those pretty eyes of his sparkling as he smiles softly. “so are you. really. like,” he looks down at the photo again, shaking his head slightly before looking back up at you. “that colour is beautiful on you. honest. you look incredible.”

“thank you,” the words come out in a whisper, and the two of you silently smile at each other for a moment until you clear your throat. “um, there are more of the official pics on my instagram, let me… actually, do you have my private account?”

“oh, no,” matty shakes his head again - god, you love the way his hair moves. “just the one for your writing.”

“well,” you tap on the app with an almost-imperceptibly shaky finger. “that's the username there, if you'd like to follow. no pressure, of course. don’t wanna fuck up your algorithms or anything.”

your nervous chuckle at the end of the sentence turns to a giggle when you see matty's face as you share your username; it lights up so much that you'd be forgiven for thinking he'd just won the lottery. he pulls his own phone out and taps away at it. “you don't have to follow me back, by the way,” his cheeks flush a deep red, a beautiful colour. “m'not posting anything interesting.”

doubtful. he might be one of the most interesting people you've ever met, all talent and sweetness and a wealth of cultural understanding wrapped up in a sweater and a pretty face. “no, i'd like to.”

“alright. thank you,” matty's cheeks seem to get even redder as he watches you hit follow back, face twitching as though he’s trying to stop himself smiling too big. when the microwave dings, he all but skips over to it, almost tripping over the leg of his chair in a sweetly awkward way; he swears under his breath when he lifts the steaming container out, turning back sheepishly to look at you. “sorry.”

“don't worry,” you grin at him, feeling slightly bold. “i still think you're sweet when you swear.”

he giggles, and the noise makes your heart leap; in addition to being one of the most interesting people you think you've ever met, matty healy is without doubt the cutest. watching his lips pout in concentration as he stirs the soup and checks the temperature, you briefly imagine what they would feel like against your own, how he would be if the two of you were to kiss. just as giggly and endearingly awkward as he usually is, you think - eager to please, lips and tongue a little sloppy and unsure but enthusiastic enough for you not to mind, slightly unsure of where to put his hands so as to not make you uncomfortable… the scene is as clear as day in your head, and you really, really want to recreate it. you'd devour him right now if you could, the sweetheart.

and then, matty reaches up to get a bowl from the shelf, the hem of his shirt goes with him, and your want to devour him suddenly takes on a less pg-rated meaning than it did a second ago.

he has a fucking hip tattoo.

you’re pretty sure it's only a sliver of the full design you can actually see, but the hints of red and blue and black ink and the glimpse of his happy trail are enough to fuck you up completely. as you register what you're seeing - what you're discovering about the seemingly buttoned-up, shy, unassuming-to-everyone-but-you matty - your breath catches in your throat, forcing you to cough quite obviously on the mouthful of lukewarm tea you'd just taken. one cough turns into another, and you clap a hand over your mouth to make your tattoo reaction attack the least obvious it can be.

still, the ever-perceptive man across the kitchen notices, running over to crouch in front of you with concern filling those beautiful eyes of his. “you alright, darling?”

darling?! no, you most certainly aren't alright.

but you can't tell matty that, so you stick to gesturing to let him know you'll reply once you've managed to swallow your tea. “i am, yeah, thanks. tea just, y'know, went down the wrong way.”

matty tilts his head. “you sure?”

“yeah,” you smile, slightly embarrassed. “really. thank you, though.”

“of course,” he smiles in return, knee brushing lightly against your leg as he steadies himself; he looks down, eyes widening as he registers how close the two of you are, and quickly stands. “i'd better, y'know, get my lunch.”

you nod, despite the strange loneliness settling into your bones at the lack of him next to you. “i can head back to the office, if you want peace?”

“no, no, please stay!” matty all but gasps, turning to look at you like a deer caught in headlights - he clears his throat, blinking a few times before speaking again. “please don't feel the need to leave on my account, i mean. or feel obliged to talk, really - i was just going to read.”

“you're sure i won't be a bother to you?”

matty smiles warmly, shaking his head. “that'll never happen.”

christ.

“okay,” you whisper, winking at him - and savouring the little giggle that bubbles out of him when you do - before turning back to your laptop. 

matty settles at the table a minute or so later, pulling a paperback from his back pocket and holding it open quite attractively with one hand. you peek over the rim of your laptop at him every so often, never for more than a couple of seconds at a time; partially to avoid the mortification of him catching you, but mostly because if you look at him any longer you know your mind will wander back to that fucking hip tattoo of his, and what it might look like completely visible to you, and what it might feel like under your lips, and what noises matty might make if you slowly dragged your tongue all over it before moving to the side to lick a wavy line up the length of his-

enough. he's literally right there.

the room feels hot, all of a sudden, your cheeks flushing and throat drying to match. on only slightly shaky legs, you pick up your waterbottle and head to the water fountain, crouching as best you can to fill it. even though he stays silent, you can feel matty’s eyes on you from across the room, but it doesn't bother you or freak you out in the way that other men ogling you at a water fountain would - it's quite obvious that matty has some sort of more-than-platonic affection for you, but his gaze has always been one of appreciation and awe when it comes to you, not the predatory one you've come to expect from men. and yet, his is the only male gaze that makes you feel slightly nervous, unused to being looked at with such reverence and tenderness by an attractive boy; in complete contrast, though, it also makes you lower your guard, pull down the bricks from the wall you've built around your heart, and allow yourself to actually feel something for matty, for once. something good, honest, promising.

matty looks up from his book as you sit down, smiling pleasantly. he opens his mouth as if to talk, and then closes it immediately, shaking his head slightly.

this intrigues you. “you okay, matty?”

“hmm? oh, yeah, i was just thinking,” his cheeks go a shade of pink you would buy in blush form if you could find it. “when you were first talking about the wedding… you said although, and then we got off-topic slightly. what, um, what were you going to say, if you don't mind me asking?”

“oh, right,” you wrack your brain, doing your best to not get distracted by how cute you find his perception. “i think i was going to say something about how, as good as it all was, there's nothing like a family wedding to remind you of how single you are.”

his jaw falls open. “you… you don't have a boyfriend? wait, sorry,” he blinks. “or a partner?”

you shake your head, biting the inside of your lip to stop yourself smiling. “no boyfriend, no. and thus, constantly advised by a never-ending flock of aunts that i should get one so i could get married.”

“christ,” matty winces. “yeah, my cousin's getting married in a couple of months - not looking forward to everyone asking me when i'm going to meet a nice girl and settle down, as if i can answer.”

no girlfriend. how interesting. “you're single? really?”

he rolls his eyes, still smiling at you. “be serious. course i am.”

“i am being serious! that surprises me,” you lean on one elbow, tilting your head to look at him. “you're lovely, matty.”

matty’s eyes widen, and he blinks adorably a few times before he smiles shyly again. “thank you. i think the same about you.”

“you do?”

he simply nods, total sincerity in those pretty eyes. 

you feel your cheeks warm, but you make no effort to hide it. “thank you.”

matty shrugs. “just telling the truth, darling,” he looks panicked when he realises what he's said. “sorry for calling you that, twice, it just-”

“i like it, matty, it's alright,” you say reassuringly. “and i like-”

“oh, thank god you're both here,” marianne bursts into the room, carrying her laptop; you frown petulantly at her for ruining your moment, but shuffle your chair round closer to matty's so she can sit at the table too. “something weird’s happening.”

matty squints. “what d'you mean by weird?”

marianne pushes her laptop towards you both. “there's overlap in your planned reviews - the band you're going to see at the end of next week, matthew, have just been announced as the opener for the next Big Gig. i need to know how we want to go about this.”

“oh,” he looks at you. “i don't mind if you want to just review them as part of yours.”

you're shaking your head vehemently before he even finishes talking. “no, that's not fair,” you tap your lips with your index finger the way you always do when you concentrate, trying to ignore the glow within your body when you see matty looking at them from the corner of your eye; inspiration strikes, and you turn to marianne. “matty could come with me, couldn't he? if he reviews their headline gig, and then he does a follow-up review of their opening set in the Big Gig feature - we could just do a joint byline, work together on it.”

both of them turn to look at you in slight shock. marianne is the first to speak, her words trickling out slowly as she processes the fact you've just agreed to let someone else work on a Big Gig for the first time. “you're… happy with that?”

“if matty is, yeah,” you turn to him, smiling. “sound alright?”

he beams. “more than. thank you.”

“of course,” you turn back to the boss. “there you go. sorted.”

she sighs, relieved. “thank goodness for that. alright,” she stands, picking up her laptop and heading back to the main office. “i'll coordinate press passes. thanks for making that simple - you're both stars.”

“anytime!” you call after her, before turning back to matty. “you're sure you're happy to do this? i realise i've just given you more work to do, but…”

he laughs, a beautiful sound. “nah, i don't mind. also,” he shuffles in his seat, bashful again. “i actually have a spare ticket for the first show, if you'd like it - bought it before i saw it was on the review roster. doesn't seem fair that i get to go to two gigs while you only get one, i think. i mean, no pressure, obviously, but the offer's there.”

god, he’s so fucking cute. how could you ever say no to him? “i'd like that a lot, matty, thank you,” you beam at him. “i think us working together is going to be a lot of fun.”

matty beams back just as enthusiastically. “i think so too.”

[abiiors]

birthday wish - matty x reader

part 1 of matty's birthday weekend a/n: this is scheduled. by the time this goes up, i will (hopefully🤞🏼) be on a beach somewhere, day drunk 😌 cw: very vague and brief descriptions of a panic attack, alcohol and drinking, mayhem is still with matty here because that's how it should be. also...a smidge of angst, idiots friends to lovers wc: 3.1k

“matty you fucking dick!”

her screech echoes throughout the lower floor of his house and matty bursts out laughing. george stirs on the nearby sofa, huffs something unintelligible and goes back to sleep. 

it’s 9 in the morning the day after they’ve had a late night out, no one should be awake at such an ungodly hour… least of all him. but matty has a mission to accomplish, the fucking childish prank he’s been planning for weeks to see through. 

and this scream—her calling him a “fucking dick”—is the precise reaction he’s been hoping for. 

seconds later she stomps out of his room and matty damn near pisses himself at the sight of her—dripping in water like a wet, angry cat, her t-shirt clinging to her body in all the damp spots and hair as green as an oompa-loompa's. even like this she’s a vision.

“what the fuck did you do?!” she yells again, absolutely fuming. 

between peals of laughter, he somehow manages three words. “happy april fool’s.”

“oh don’t you fucking dare. watch your back healy, i swear to god…”

and then all the yelling wakes george up who takes one look at her and flinches back. he actually flinches back letting out a string of curses in the process until his butt hits the floor. 

matty doubles over, clutching his sides, and wolf-whistles at her just to piss her off a little more. 

“hair dye in a shampoo bottle, how clever,” she huffs, crossing her arms in front of her until the damp  t-shirt sticks to her boobs and the wind gets knocked out of matty’s chest. 

suddenly, nothing is funny—not the green-tinged puddle of water near her feet, not the way her nostrils flare in anger. 

matty’s breath hitches in his throat, and perhaps for the first time he looks at her properly. the damp t-shirt ends halfway down her thighs, bunched up on one side so he can almost see the little group of freckles on the apex of her thigh. the anger makes her eyebrows furrow, makes a small crease appear right between them and matty wishes so desperately he could smooth it with his thumb. his hands tremble at his sides and he tightens them into a fist. 

finally, after what feels like an eternity, george bursts out laughing. 

matty startles—he’d honestly forgotten george was even there, still waking up from sleep and now that he is fully awake, george bursts into a fit of obnoxious cackles. 

“what the fuck happened to you,” he teases to which she just lifts one finger and points it straight at matty. 

matty, despite everything, blushes to the roots of his hair. now that he’s started thinking all these thoughts about her he can’t fucking stop—can’t stop when she bunches the towel in her hands and throws it at him so quick that it makes the t-shirt ride up a bit more. can’t stop when she places her hands on her hips so that the contours of her chest stand out under the damp t-shirt.

he has half a thought to tackle george so he won’t be able to look at her anymore but matty suppresses the urge. barely. 

“i’ll get you back, healy,” she threatens and storms back to his room. 

sure matty was the one who offered to let her have a shower in his bathroom—one, so she could stay over with the rest of their friends for the night, and two, so he could execute the prank. but now he can’t stop imagining it—her under the shower (does she sing?) using his shampoo, his body wash. 

does she smell like him now? he’d die if he got close enough to find out. 

“alright, mate?” george jerks him out of his thoughts. matty turns around to see his friend stretching sleepily, but george’s eyes are still very much trained on matty. his lips are very much pressed into a thin line. 

“you both are insufferable, don’t get why you won’t just tell her,” he mumbles on the way to the kitchen pulling out a mug for himself. 

“don’t know what you’re talking about,” matty shrugs, perhaps a bit too quick and gets another mug out. he puts the kettle on boil, gets the coffee and sugar out.

the whole time george stays quiet but matty can feel his burning stare on the back of his head. 

only when the coffees are done and george takes the first sip does he speak. 

“sure you don’t,” he mutters in a dry tone and takes his phone out (definitely to text charli and gossip about matty’s love life. or the lack thereof.)

in his head he guesses the texts that are being exchanged between them.

he’s chickened out again. 

really? i fucking knew it, he’s never gonna get to it. 

right? she might as well date someone else. 

i should set her up with a friend…

and then shakes his head like that would get rid of the frankly ridiculous thoughts. his friends would never do that to him. they've already meddled and invested too much in his love life by now to give up so easily. besides, he’ll get to it. someday. eventually. 

he’ll get to it when his insides don’t feel like jelly around her. 

he’ll get to it when he feels a bit more brave.

matty’s birthday wish has stayed consistent for the last two years. he wishes he could make a move. he wishes she were single—well, one of those things is true now. he’s no longer pathetic enough to yearn for a girl who’s already with someone else. 

he’ll never admit it to anyone but he did feel a bit of joy when she broke up with her boyfriend earlier that year—okay maybe a lot of joy when he saw how quickly she moved on. 

“we’d been growing distant for some time anyway,” she’d confessed when he checked up on her after the break up. “it was inevitable.”

and now that matty’s birthday gets closer and closer, he thinks of all ways to amend that wish. 

please fucking please give me the courage to just kiss her. 

he doesn’t know who he’s making the wish to. god?? he highly doubts it. the universe?? he scarcely believes in all that new age spirituality crap. the fucking candle company and the cake maker then. 

oh great vanilla bean who sacrificed itself for my cake… give me the courage to finally kiss her. 

he's got like a week still… if he wished every single day starting today, maybe it will come true. cake and candles or not. he's a grown fucking man, he can make a wish before blowing on a fag.

sometime around 5 pm he wakes up to an empty apartment, lingering taste of the sweet vanilla cake that she’d baked for him last year still so fresh on his tongue. 

there’s something else too… there’s the Moment that he’s not quite sure counts as a Moment even though he remembers it vividly—her fingers brushing against his lips while she was wiping away a bit of the frosting, nails grazing against his lips. just a touch too long. all of it—the intense stare, the looking away right after, the refusal to look him in the eye for the rest of the night—all of it feels like a Moment. but the rational part of his brain steers him away from that thought. 

she had a boyfriend at the time. she wouldn’t pine after someone else. least of all him. 

a somewhat humiliating memory resurfaces too—his own lyrics coming to bite him back in the ass—the speaker blaring “she’s got a boyfriend anyway” over and over again while he tries not to punch the dj. 

matty stretches and gets out of bed.

the utter silence feels nice for a change—nicer when half the house is bathed in golden light and he can just stroll through the house in search of some weed and crisps and pop. maybe call his brother and demand that mario kart rematch that’s so so long overdue. 

maybe he should let mayhem out into the backyard first. 

mayhem…

matty freezes in his tracks and slowly turns around, almost like he’s in a horror movie. 

he has not heard the dog bark once! usually mayhem is up and running at him the moment he senses him within a ten feet radius. today however, there’s no patter of paws on the floor. 

matty runs to check the little outdoor area where mayhem usually sits. even before he opens the door though, matty knows what he will find—an empty dog bed, possibly an empty food bowl. 

he lets out a low whistle and twists the door open. there’s an uncharacteristic, loud clatter and a second later he stands at the threshold, doused in hot pink glitter, dog-less, in the middle of his house. 

i’ll get you back, healy!

matty giggles to himself and takes his phone out of his pocket, trying not to get the glitter everywhere. (although by now it’s pretty much settled into his dna, he’s sure of it) 

she picks up on the second ring, followed by a very fake clearing of her throat. 

“did you steal my dog, darling?” matty launches straight into it, trying to hide the smile in his voice.

“no!” and then there’s a faint little yip in the background that sounds suspiciously like the one he hears daily. 

“right…”

“right. that all?”

as gently as he can, matty dusts off the glitter in place and walks back inside in search of a mop or something. he needs to contain the carnage somehow, but on the phone she clears her throat again. 

“did anything else happen?” 

the little giggle in her voice is so obvious to him. matty imagines what she looks like on the other side—on her bed maybe, cuddled up with mayhem who secretly seems to prefer her so much more than matty. on her bed in just a t-shirt maybe… he reigns it in before the thoughts can progress any forward. 

“mayhem seems to have ran away.”

“oh?” then there’s a little silence, which instantly fills with the sound of paws on hard wood. “maybe he’ll come back,” she hedges, “maybe…once the dye in my hair goes away, who knows.”

“is that so?”

“yeah, just a hunch.”

the silence stretches on, none of them willing to hang up first. matty wonders if she’s sat there biting her lip, trying to stifle a laugh. matty wonders what it would be like if he were to bite her lip instead.

“still green?” he tries to tease, voice slightly breathy.

“still sparkly?” she quips back. and well…yes, he is. he’s sure he’s going to be for the rest of time.

“the day’s not over yet, sweetheart.”

sweetheart. where the fuck did that come from? matty runs a shaky hand through his hair and grimaces when it come away hot pink and sparkly. it’s all over his hair too… great.

“is that a threat, darling?” matty almost chokes at the word, his face heats up. fuckin’ hell… if this is what he’s like after one word…

“we’ll see about that tonight.” 

and then like a coward he hangs up before she can shake his composure any further. he closes his eyes and focuses on the birthday wish one more time—it might as well be today, he’s faux-celebrating his birthday later with a few people who can’t be there on the actual day. he just needs to get his shit together and…not fuck up.

he fucks up almost instantly. 

when he walks into the dimly lit pub, he can spot the green-head right from the door. she’s in a flowery blouse and jeans and pulling the hair off so well that he wonders if he should have done this months ago. but matty shakes off his jitters and walks up to his friends. 

several of them are already pretty tipsy, singing and dancing along to the tunes. he is fashionably late after all. they greet him, slapping him on the shoulder as he passes by, drunkenly yelling “happy birthday” even though it’s a week away. graciously, he thanks them all, laughing and joking with his friends before making his way to her. 

turns out the list of tipsy people also includes her.

she beams when she sees him, hurrying to put her cocktail away so she can throw her arms around him. a second later her perfume invades all his senses. matty closes his eyes and takes a deep breath of it. 

“i was waiting for you,” she declares, a few words coming out slurred. “i’ve decided i like the green.”

“yeah? it looks beautiful on you.”

quickly she wrinkles her nose, stepping away from him. “you’re making fun of me!”

“‘m not!” he vehemently defends himself but in the end it’s all in good fun. fondly, she rolls her eyes and grabs his hand, pulling him to the bar. 

“i asked them to set aside this one bottle of wine for you. feel like you’d like it.”

a strange warmth spreads through him—it’s not the most special thing someone’s done for him, it’s just a bottle of wine. but then again nothing is just something when it comes to her. 

she thought about him. she’d been thinking about him. however briefly. 

matty almost leans across and kisses her then but thinks better of it. a crowded pub is no place to do it. 

turns out his first mistake of the night is drinking the wine. well… drinking too much and too fast anyway. 

what starts off as slow sips and savouring the red quickly turns into glasses of wine in a corner while they joke around and giggle uncontrollably. she’s flushed, twinkly-eyed and a bit more than tipsy now. 

matty, on the other hand, might very well be drunk. 

he feels the effects of it—the feeling of his blood being replaced by wine, the buzz in his head, the lack of filter in his words. oh, his head is going to kill him tomorrow.

he doesn’t mind though, anything to be sat here across from her, giggling over an overpriced (but delicious) bottle of wine. matty leans forward, chin on the palm of his hand and watches her laugh at his silly joke. 

“you’re gorgeous, did i tell you that?” for a moment he doesn’t recognise the voice. it’s slurred and deeper than usual and that’s not something he’d ever admit to her so casually. but then she giggles and ruffles his hair, laughing harder when her fingers come back, coated in a bit of glitter. 

“you’re so drunk. but i appreciate it, thank you.”

“no no, i’m not! i mean i am but— i mean it i—” he’s wide-eyed and failing to explain just how much he means it. matty just wants her to understand. this is not some frivolous confession of a wine-addled brain, this is serious. he is serious. 

desperation overrides any sane instinct in his brain. which is his second mistake of the night. 

the words come out faster than he can process them, faster than he can filter them and make them digestible. 

“you– you don’t know how long i’ve waited to say this. every time i get enough courage there’s either a boyfriend or something else. there’s always— fuck, forget all that. that doesn’t matter—”

“matty—”

“no, no listen to me, listen to what i’m trying to tell you.” 

the more he speaks (rambles) the more the smile slips from her face, replaced by something he can’t quite place. she’s not… disgusted by him, is she? he hopes not. that really would be the final nail in the coffin. 

“i’ve been trying—” he chokes, deeply swallowing more wine, “—been trying to tell you, i love you! i love you, i love you, i love you. i have for so long!”

and that’s when she pulls back entirely, leaning back into her chair as if she can’t put enough distance between them. her face shutters into an unreadable mask and matty feels panic bubbling up deep inside his stomach. 

shit shit shit. 

what has he done. 

oh god, he clearly wasn’t thinking straight. this wasn’t how it was meant to go. this wasn’t how any of it wasn’t meant to go. it was meant to be followed by a kiss and maybe more. it was meant to be followed by an “i love you too”. 

not… indifference. 

or worse… disgust. 

which is when he makes his third (and perhaps the worst) mistake of the night. 

matty laughs. it’s hysterical and sharp and verging on cruel. he laughs until he can feel the tears in his eyes and he can only hope they don’t spill down his cheeks. and then he says the words he can never take back. 

“oh god, look at your face. i was joking!”

“what…”

“it’s still the first of april, did you forget?”

each word is like a nail being hammered into his heart. but matty hopes it would be enough. in two seconds she’d roll her eyes and laugh at herself for falling for it. in a minute they will go back to drinking and joking. matty can pretend. he’s become quite good at it. 

instead, she gets up so fast that her chair almost clatters to the ground. 

in the dim lightning of the pub, matty can’t see the tears gathered in her eyes. although that might be because his eyes are still blurry from his own tears. 

“love—”

“you’re a cunt, matty.” she says the words with an eerie calmness, mechanically gathers her bag and phone and walks away. only then does he register the extent of what’s happening. 

the wine bottle falls to the floor and shatters when he drunkenly bumps into the table. red spills everywhere, soaking his shoes, the leg of his jeans. he hurries after her, tripping and falling as the full force of the alcohol hits him once again, calling out her name again and again. the music drowns it out. 

she’s out the door before matty’s even halfway across the pub. 

fuck… how did it go so wrong so quick. 

how did he mess it up so bad… 

he almost retches right there on the floor, grabbing a passer-by to steady himself. he needs to do something, he needs to make this right. he needs to…

he doesn't know what. his heart pounds in his chest and his throat feels so dry and tight he can barely speak, barely even breathe. matty sinks to his knees right there in the middle of the pub, gasping for breath. 

he doesn’t know what happens next, doesn’t remember much after that. all he remembers is the feeling of doom and the loud, odd rhythm of his heart. 

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[imagine-that-100]

Chicken Shop Date | Part 7 |

By @imagine-that-100​​ and @alovesreading​​

Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.

Word Count: 36.9k

A/N: Bestiesssss, we’re back with a monster of a chapter. Hope you’re ready for smut, angst, and fluff. This brings it allllllllll! Honestly can’t wait to see what you all think of this one, please give us all of your reactions as we love to see it and it keeps us motivated to write. We have a little cameo in this chapter, she was already going to be in it before anything happened irl so yeah, funny how things turn out hahaha. Thank you for being patient and sticking with us, we really hope you enjoy!  x

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 |

| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |

~*~*~*~ January 1st 2023 ~*~*~*~

Waking up in his arms feels like something out of a dream.

You feel warm inside and out, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips feeling his slow breaths hitting the back of your neck. You faintly remember coming back to his and the concrete walls surrounding you confirm that your hazy memory isn’t betraying you.

The light peeking through the windows burns harshly even through your closed eyes but it isn’t enough to bother you when you’re in such bliss to be waking up next to Matty. Or rather, in front of him, since he’s got his chest pressed against your back with an arm wrapped around your waist which has you flush against him.

A hum of content falls from your lips as you relish and shuffle impossibly closer to him, your movement making him stir in his sleep and open his eyes a few seconds later.

Matty smiles seeing the back of your head the second he opens his eyes, nuzzling his face on the back of your neck and pressing soft kisses on your skin to let you know he’s awake.

A string of giggles leaves you when feeling his curls tickling your neck and his plush lips on your skin causing an eruption of butterflies in your belly.

“Good morning baby,” Matty greets with a smile on his face, one that you can feel in the crook of your neck where he finds a place to hide and continues to drop kisses.

His raspy morning voice makes something inside you shift, and combined with the feeling of his fingers clutching you tighter, you start letting thoughts run around your head that you know you shouldn’t be having this early in the morning.

It gets worse when his fingers let go of your waist and start to wander, at the same time as his mouth lazily leaves a trail of kisses down to your shoulders. You feel his fingertips tracing to the side of your stomach and lowering until it reaches your hip, the smile on your face growing when the faint touch seems to electrify your body awake.

And then his mouth goes retracing its path from your shoulders up your neck whilst his fingers teasingly ghost from your hip to the middle of your belly, falling down until it reaches your lower stomach and your breath hitches in your throat rather loudly in the silence you’ve fallen inside his room.

Still hiding on your neck, you can feel him smirking, not to mention his hot and heavy breath getting closer to your ear where he whispers, “How are you feeling?” as if he doesn’t already know the answer.

Humming, you let yourself get lost in his presence. The pads of his fingers rubbing circles on your lower stomach which have your body reacting at the growing desperation of feeling him everywhere else. Like the rest of your skin is jealous he’s concentrating solely on that spot.

“Good,” You eventually reply, but knowing that if you need anything, and that he’ll most likely give it to you if you ask. So you add, “A bit horny though.”

Matty chuckles into your neck. A bit, an understatement. He had felt your hips writhe just before he had asked you, his dick twitching in his Calvins at your noticeable response to him.

“Right,” He hums and starts pressing his lips on your neck again, only this time they are more wet and open mouthed kisses than just simple pecks, “Only a bit?”

You nod, biting your bottom lip to not make any sound when you feel him start sucking on a certain spot in your neck which he had taken a mental note yesterday that you enjoyed.

He grows more intently at bruising your neck in that spot in particular, making you take a deep breath so you don’t give into making noises just yet. But he knows exactly what you’re doing so in a swift movement, he gets a hold of your leg and lifts it up enough for him to fit one of his legs in between yours, pushing his hips forwards so you feel him growing harder. And he can’t help but silently congratulate himself when you finally let out a gasp that turns into a mewl that satisfies him for a few seconds.

Matty’s fingers have a grip on the plush flesh of your inner thigh, the pressure is delicious combined with the rolling of your hips as you’re both looking to keep the friction going, and his mouth continuing its attack on the skin of your neck has your eyes rolling back in pleasure.

You’re about to complain when his fingers let go of your leg, letting it fall over his leg in between yours, but then you feel the running up your inner thigh until it grazes the edge of your underwear. You just can’t help but let out a high pitched moan which is pleading for him to touch you right where you need him.

It’s lucky Matty has grown to read your mind, your sounds, your body language, because he gives you just what you want by pushing the fabric of your underwear aside and runs his fingers up and down your slick.

“F-fuck,” You let out a strangled curse at the slight pressure he applies when he finds your clit, his fingers moving agile and easily since you’re already wet for him.

Feeling him growing harder, pressed against your arse makes you even more turned on, and the groan he lets out in your ear goes straight down to your core too.

After biting your earlobe, he teases you further by asking, “What do you need, baby?” as if your throbbing cunt wasn’t clearly clenching around nothing.

“Your fingers.” You answer breathlessly, half lidded eyes from the pleasure he was giving you.

You hear him hum, pleased with your answer before his fingers curl to go inside you. Easily getting two in, knuckles deep, to stretch you out heavenly.

The noise of his fingers pumping in and out of you mixed with your breathless moans and gasps and his groans made for a pornographic scene but after a minute, you need more of him. You can feel his hips bucking into your arse in search of relief and the tease of his dick pressed against you was driving you insane.

So in between your ragged breaths, you let him know, “Baby- I need you. Need you to fuck me.”

The request unravels something inside him, a guttural groan leaving his throat and his fingers leaving you in a haste.

You whine at the loss of him, but your noise is hushed by his fingers coming up to your mouth for you to suck clean. You do as you’re silently instructed, Matty watching you over your shoulder as you sink your mouth onto his slick wet fingers with his mouth falling agape. You make a show of how much you enjoy tasting yourself on his fingers, which ends up with him using his other hand to grab a fistful of your hair and pull on it so your head is thrown back at an angle good enough for his lips to crash against yours.

You swallow a loud moan that falls from his lips when your tongues meet and he tastes you on your tongue, his hand tracing down your front, pulling his borrowed top up exposing more of your skin until he once again finds your hips. Then he completely removes his hand from your body so he can pull down his boxers and free his hard on, you’re pushing your underwear down your hips and quickly pulling it down your legs and shedding yourself off it.

He breaks the kiss to let out a hiss of pleasure, finally feeling the soft skin of your arse freely pressed against his hard cock.

Helping him a little, you lift your leg up so he can position himself better in between your legs. Your cheeks pressed together as he guides his hard dick up and down your folds, gathering your arousal and mixing it with the precum already dripping from his angry red head.

He giggles when he taunts you by rubbing the head of his cock on your clit, making you shiver and squirm from the desperate need to have him fill you up.

“Matty-” You choke out in a beg, feeling yourself clenching around nothing again and growing impatient.

The need he has to feel you wrapped tight around him again interrupts his thoughts of even continuing to tease you, so he properly lines himself up with your entrance and pushes forward to stretch you out and allow himself in again.

Cries of pleasure fall from both of you, creating a gorgeous harmony to your ears. The angle is something else, you can feel him so deep inside you and he feels like you’re trying to swallow him whole with how tight you are around him.

He pulls his hips back slightly, cautious of going too further back since it feels like with the tightness of your walls you could push him out, and pushes back in again until his hips are pressed flush against your arse.

The pace is set after a few more thrusts, intently and not too fast, hard enough for you to feel him press against that spot that drives you mad with each movement of his hips, drawing loud moans from you.

Praising you for how good you feel, he keeps going. The bed starts moving with you, your arousal wetting where you met and showing through the noises it causes every time your skin meets.

A thin coat of sweat appears on your skin as you keep going, your hand coming to fist the sheets next to you in an attempt to keep you grounded as you feel like the more the knot tightening in your lower belly, the more you lose grasp of reality.

Matty’s hand came behind your leg to push it up so he had more range of movement to push his hips forward and that is the thing which makes you both grow even louder. You have to press your face on the pillow to drown your moans, eventually having to turn your head so you can catch some air.

You’re clenching so hard around him, it’s driving him insane and the messy moans and groans he lets out he doesn’t even have the mind to think about. It makes everything for you so much better, not only is he making your head spin, knowing he’s feeling just as much pleasure makes your skin grow hotter.

In between choked out moans, you let him know you are about to tip over the edge, “Baby, I’m so close- F-feels so good!”

Your praise makes him grow even more intently to make you cum, so snaking his arm over your leg, he reaches down until he finds your clit and starts rubbing it, adding enough pressure to have you seeing stars.

“Oh fuck!” You let out loudly right before you cum, legs trembling as he continues to rub on your swollen clit and thrusting in and out of your slick cunt.

You’re clenching so hard around him, he can’t hold back any longer and cums hard, thrusts going sloppy as your tight walls milk him out through his orgasm.

He continues to ride your highs out, both of you coming back to your senses and it’s only when he pulls out of you that he realises a mistake you both hadn’t noticed.

“Fuck…” Matty curses under his breath when he notices he’s not got to shed himself of a condom because he forgot to even put one on.

For a few seconds you remain blissfully unaware, still tingling with adrenaline and excitement, you just think he’s cursing after the wave of pleasure and you giggle to yourself. But then he’s pulling his boxers up and running off the bed to the bathroom like he’s been shocked back to life and it leaves you confused.

That is until you feel it. You feel his cum slowly dripping out of you.

And when he walks through his bedroom door again, with a damp small towel in hand, you narrow your eyes at him like you’ve caught him red handed.

“Matthew.” You scorn with a low voice and he gives you a childish side smile like he’s trying to act innocent.

He lifts the sheets up from your body, showing you still wearing his shirt but your bottom half bare and sprawled on top of the bed.

“Sorry,” He apologises lightheartedly, kneeling on the bed until he’s hovering above you and leans down to press a kiss on your lips, “I didn’t realise.”

All you can do is giggle, because you hadn’t either, it’s not a surprise it felt so good. Thankfully you’re on birth control and you knew you had only been with each other so this wasn’t a matter to absolutely go insane about.

“It’s okay.” You mumble against his lips, stealing another kiss before he could get to cleaning you up like he was intending to.

Cupping his jaw, you break the kiss but leave him with a few pecks before you pat his cheek and instruct him to, “Go on.”

He steals one last cheeky kiss before looking down and doing what he was meant to do, which ends up being delayed as he seems entranced by the way he sees his seed spilling out of you slowly.

You’re watching him intently, biting your bottom lip not to laugh at the way he’s staring, but then a fair few more seconds go by and he’s completely frozen in his place so you have to snap him out of it.

“Matty!” You exclaim with the hint of a laugh behind it, which ends up spilling from your lips when his eyes shoot up to look at you and then back down and he ends up clearing his throat to nod.

“Sorry.” He apologises again, finally bringing the damp cloth down to clean you up. You hiss at the feeling of it brushing against your sensitive clit and his jaw falls when you swallow a moan.

Concentrating particularly hard, he finishes his task a minute later, once again leaving for the bathroom not without kissing you once more but this time reminding you, “You’re so hot baby.”

That draws another string of laughter from you, entirely amused by his behaviour. You can’t stop the loopy smile that breaks on your face when you watch him hurriedly leave the room like he has no time to waste when you’re around him.

Your heart doubles in size in your chest and as you gather the energy to get up to head to the bathroom yourself. You guess that the next few days with him will look just like this and you must admit, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

~*~*~*~*~*~

You were correct. Making the most of the beginning of January with Matty really did involve a lot of what happened after your date and the morning after. It was rare you ever left each other alone.

In fact, when you weren’t getting better acquainted with each other's bodies, you still didn’t leave each other alone. The first few days you spent solely at Matty’s house, and you both just relaxed into each other's company, but there wasn’t ever really a second you left each other unaccompanied.

If anyone else was in your presence, they would have thought you were both being embarrassingly clingy. Something which in private you absolutely can’t get enough of.

It was just the simple things about being in his presence that made you so happy. When he would lift your legs over his lap and trace soft patterns on your thigh, or him raising his arm so you would cuddle into him as you practically shared one seat on his three seater settee.

You cooked together, watched TV together, showered together, and just chilled out together doing your own things but you were always connected in one way or another. If Matty wanted to go on his PlayStation, your legs would be on his lap and you either watched him play and chatted as he did, or you read one of his books.

Not to mention the way he would lay down and put his head in your lap, or if you were in bed he would cuddle up to you refusing to let you go. You also found that Matty left kisses on you every chance he could. Whether that was a peck on the lips, or a random few placed on your arm or your knee or your stomach. He would basically kiss you any chance he could and then proceed to cuddle you.

One of the things you personally thought was the cutest thing about him, is that when you were getting ready to go to sleep each night, Matty would always interrupt you doing your skincare. At first he was just being a dick, squeezing or scooping more product out than you needed and then smearing it on your face to mess with you. But then you would start to use the excess on him so it wasn’t going to waste and that was how every night you started doing each other's skincare. Something which always had the both of you smiling goofily at each other and giggling until it hurt your stomach.

Everything was just so mundane and domestic. You let yourself indulge the thought of this being something more and you secretly really loved it. But you weren’t going to let yourself get too in your head about that. You’re enjoying yourself and you’re certain that Matty is too so you’ll wait for the conversation to be brought up, you’re in no rush to label anything. You’re just happy you’re along for the ride.

On the 3rd, Matty had his friend Sam drop Mayhem and Allen round for the day and you got to meet them both and they were the goodest boys. Despite Mayhem being fucking huge, he’s the softest boy and was so cute. Allen is just as good and it was a real shame when Matty got Sam to pick the both of them up the day after.

You’re sure he only did it so he could get you back into bed because whenever either of you would start something, one of the dogs would interrupt wanting attention. After the fifth time of it happening, you could see Matty slowly losing his patience so it wasn’t a shock that after the dogs left, you very quickly found yourself being undressed in his kitchen. And after bruising your knees for him, the both of you let desperation get the best of you, neither of you even attempted trying to make it to bed or even his settee in the next room.

On the 5th, George and Charli invited the both of you to their house, in the day this time, and you got to see it free of people socialising. You had a really nice day with them, Charli once again teasing you about Matty, just as much as Matty does himself, but you know she’s coming from a good place and seeing her and George together in their home filled your heart with so much joy.

A relationship like theirs is what you’ve been striving for. Their happiness is unmatched and the way they look at each other when they think no one else is looking is beyond heartwarming. You love them together and you can see just how much they adore each other.

The day after that was slightly different from the rest. You went for a walk around the area where he lives, and went out and bought yourselves some lunch at a cafe before heading back. It had been a really lovely day, but later on when you were lying down together and you were holding hands, your fingers intertwined, and you noticed a small scar on his knuckle. And when you asked about it, you almost regretted doing so immediately, but only because it looked like it hurt so much for him to tell you the story behind it.

Matty on the other hand, once he got through telling you, was happy that you finally knew about him and about his past. He hates the story, knowing all the consequences of what happened back when he got the scar, but he’s just happy you finally know pretty much everything about his past, relationship wise.

Throughout the time it took for him to tell you, he was apologising for getting emotional about it, as if he wasn’t explaining personal things that weren’t easy to get off his chest. You would hate to think that he would ever feel the need to apologise for crying about something so upsetting that happened to him. You kept assuring him that it was okay and you wiped away his tears when he didn’t do it himself sometimes and you were there to listen, and it just made you believe that you got to know him on a deeper, more intimate level.

You understand why he told you, you think he mostly wanted to warn you that he sometimes still had nightmares about it. And he told you that sometimes they wrecked him so badly that he had to call Flo to make sure that she was alright to calm his tears and erratic heartbeat before he could even try to go back to sleep. He explained that thankfully they were infrequent now but it was another reason that made it more difficult for him to sleep which is why he stayed up late a lot of the time.

It made you want to wrap him in bubble wrap and protect him at all costs. You could definitely tell that there was some factor of worry with him telling you, as if his trauma would somehow put you off him which it didn’t in the slightest. It just made you closer and that night you fell asleep with Matty cuddling you possibly the tightest he ever had before.

By the 7th, it felt bittersweet that a week had passed already and you were leaving for LA tomorrow and Matty was about to head off on tour. But you made the most of it. Matty made a show of making you cum on his tongue twice, leaving you aching to be filled and fucked, before he gave into your wishes and buried himself deep inside you over and over until you both came undone together.

After that glorious morning, the both of you reluctantly left the sanctuary of his bedroom and his house to go back to your flat and pack your things ready for LA. It didn’t take you long, you were there no longer than an hour and a half between Matty stopping you from completing your tasks with various make out sessions that he tried to turn into more but you only stopped him from letting it go any further because you knew if you didn’t pack everything and check it over twice you would be panicking later.

Thankfully Matty understood and he helped you pack rather excessively for a two day trip but regardless he found you endearing. Once you were done, Matty persuaded you to go back to his, which you agreed to so on route back both of you grabbed a take out.

After eating like kings and queens, you helped Matty pack for his tour. Like with your outfits for the carpet, your stylists were taking them for you, so you just helped him pack his normal clothes along with things he wanted to take. It took a similar amount of time as it did for you to pack as he was only away for 3 days before he was back in London and he would be staying at home for those days instead of on the bus. He would repack before they headed back on the road.

That night, the both of you fucked again until you were breathlessly clutching each other, entirely blissed out. And you tried your best to stay awake as long as you could afterwards just to extend the time you had with him, but, being the grandma you are, were a bit pathetic and fell asleep around midnight.

Time really felt like it had gotten away from you, it didn’t feel like a week had passed at all. For Matty especially, it felt like maybe two days had passed. He wasn’t ready to let you go yet, he wanted to have you cuddled into his chest like you were that last night forever. For a good hour he jut kept looking down at you and kissing the top of your head wondering how fucking lucky he must be for you to want to be wrapped up in bed with him.

It was nights like that where Matty didn’t mind his insomnia. He got to savour the moment for that bit longer which he would be forever grateful for because he truly can’t get enough of you. As you sleep in his arms, he reads a little from the book he could just about reach without disturbing you, but ultimately he ends up on his phone.

It may come back to bite him but he can’t stop himself from taking a selfie of the both of you lying together like that. He takes a few, one he knows you’ll hate because it’s mostly of your sleeping face with his head poking out above it, but then he raises the phone to take some from above, and the last few he kisses your head again.

After getting lost scrolling through twitter and laughing at the various memes the fans have been posting recently, Matty remembers his account that he deactivated almost a month ago now and curses himself for letting it go for so long. He reactivates it and pisses about on it for a while, tweeting a few things and giving it about half an hour before he deactivates once again.

Once he’s bored of that, he decides to make the most of you cuddling up into him again. He puts his phone on charge and turns off the bedside lamp before wrapping both his arms around you and hugging you tighter. The cute little noise you release, which sounds like a content hum, has Matty’s heart aching even more for you. He’s never been so happy to fall asleep beside someone before.

Waking up the next morning is blissful. Matty’s arm is loosely wrapped around your waist and your senses are completely overcome by him. It was difficult to accept that this would be the last time for a while after waking up to him every day the past week. So you savour it, you don’t get out of bed or even try to move, you just reach for your phone and check your notifications.

When you do, you want to elbow the man beside you awake because the twat had been back on Twitter after you fell asleep. Something which you loved but also slightly hated because you felt like you missed out on him reactivating and seeing something potentially funny, as if you were in bed next to the man himself and have been by his side all week.

When you went onto your phone, you saw screenshots from The 1975 update accounts you follow on there on your anonymous account, and saw that Matty had tweeted.

ok I reactivated so I didn’t loose this, honestly, culturally important account I’ll see you after UK tour gunna be mysterious

The spelling mistake made you chuckle, but it’s the next tweet that has you smiling like a fool before you’re even fully awake.

oh and I’ve got myself a missus so there can't be any kissin, cya losers

Seeing them leaves you with a gooey feeling in your stomach despite reminding yourself not to get ahead of yourself. But because it's your last morning you don’t want to just waste it. You twist yourself around and start kissing the man beside you awake. It may be a little selfish of you but you don't want to miss a second and Matty seems more than happy to wake up when he catches sight of you.

That morning, you spent a fair amount of time in bed, both busy and just cuddling, not wanting it to be over so soon. But when midday arrives you know Matty has to start getting ready to go. He’s meeting everyone at 3pm and on the way he said he wanted to drop you off at Amelia's.

When the time came to say goodbye, it felt bittersweet. You were both excited, you for the Golden Globes and Matty for the start of tour, but you didn’t want to say goodbye. There was a lot of hesitation and it was lucky the both of you set off early because it ended up being so drawn out.

You laughed because you were both only going away for a few days and you would be back for their first night in London. After lots of stolen kisses and an incredibly long hug you finally said goodbye to each other and you made your way into your best friend's flat but not before turning back and blowing a kiss to the cute curly haired brunette who wouldn’t take his eyes off you.

The whole afternoon you were texting each other, and it only stopped when they were soundchecking. But even then he sent you a selfie of himself on the stage which was adorable.

Time ends up escaping you though and knowing they go on stage at 8:30 you decide to send him your last message of the evening because you know that by the time he gets off stage you’ll be on the plane.

Hope your first show back goes amazing, can’t wait to watch all the videos x

Matty’s heart goes all mushy reading that and he doesn’t hesitate for a second to reply.

Thank you baby, have a safe flight xx

Please let me know when you’ve arrived safe xxx

And before you knew it you were on the way to LA.

~*~*~*~

When you land in LA after your 11 hour flight, it was around 1am on the 9th. In normal circumstances, this would be fine and you would be off to sleep easily when you got to your hotel by 2am. But no, you slept for 6 hours on the plane so you weren’t even tired when you got in bed.

So it was at that point you went on Twitter and devoured the content from Matty’s first show back on the road. Nothing about it disappointed and it all made you so excited for the London shows in a few days time.

After you caught up on the previous night's events, Matty must have woken up because he texted you back (you messaged him when you landed to tell him you made it safely) and that sparked a conversation. He told you how amazing the show was and how he wished you were there to see some of the stuff he witnessed.

The conversation moves back to your flight over and he wasn’t surprised at all to hear you slept for a while on the plane. And then he realises that it’s almost 5:30 for you and he forces you off the phone to try and get some more sleep.

It’s something which you reluctantly agreed to, and it was a pointless exercise for a few hours because you just ended up reading the book that you bought in dutyfree that you hoped to read on the plane but only managed a chapter. That being said, you did manage to get another hour or so of sleep around 8am, but you were woken up by Amelia at 9am for you both to go down to breakfast and to start your busy day.

Despite your lack of sleep, you and Amelia headed out to spend your only free day sightseeing. You’ve never been to LA before so you were cramming everything tourist wise in you could think of.

You went and found your favourite people on the walk of fame, before heading into the illusion museum where you both took some hilarious pictures. It made you feel like you were teenagers pissing about again on a day off school, it was so much fun.

Next you went to all the landmarks but thankfully you did this on a tour bus so you weren’t wandering around aimlessly for hours. You had the best time pointing things out from various films you'd seen over the years, it got you all giddy, you felt like a child being given free sweets.

A mistake on your and your best friends' part would be that you went and did the long walk up to the Hollywood sign at the hottest hour of the day. The climate in this part of the world is fucking weird when you’re used to constant dreary weather, and you also realised you’re not as fit as you think you are because your muscles burnt once you were finished. That being said, your and Amelia’s pictures with the sign in the background made it totally worth it.

It was your favourite picture that you took all day. The both of you looked so happy in it and your spirits are so high as it really feels like all of your dreams are coming true. You don’t think you’ve ever been so content in your life, and it really shows in your smile. The first thing you did when you got back to a place with signal was send it to Matty.

Speaking of, Matty’s been texting you most of the day and every time your phone went off and caught a glimpse of his name you felt your cheeks heat up a little as a smile took over your face. It seems like a conditioned reaction for you now, even when he’s not flirting, seeing his name light up your phone just makes you happy. All other notifications seem pretty dull in comparison.

Amelia noticed quite a few times in the day and whilst it warmed her heart to see you happy, there was that feeling bubbling inside her that wanted to protect you from things that could be too good to be true. Yes, you and Matty have a lot of chemistry and you seem to get on like a house on fire. But the last thing she wants is for you to get hurt, so she decides that she needs to talk to you about it.

But when she does that evening, she blindsides you with it.

Currently, you’re in Amelia’s hotel room with her beside you in bed and you’re watching a film. It’s no surprise that your eyes are growing heavy now though as you’ve only had 7 hours sleep in the past 48 hours, and you’ve been awake close to 30 hours and doing a lot in your day.

Crashing feels like an understatement but you’re here beside Amelia now as the both of you are trying to keep each other awake so you’re not horrendously jetlagged for your rehearsal day tomorrow or for the awards themselves the night after. Thankfully she’s been good at keeping you awake but nothing will prepare you for the wake up call she’s about to drop on you.

Your eyes close and it’s like your emotions heighten as you get lost in the feeling of your current situation. You’re in Hollywood with your best friend, about to be a host at the red carpet of one of the most prestigious award events, you’ve just had the best room service food you’ve ever had, laying in a cosy and soft bed as the closing credits score to one of your favourite films is playing in the background.

Nothing could ever top this is all you can think, even everything back home seems to be going wonderfully and you’re about to look for some wood to touch so you don’t jinx it for yourself when you hear Amelia’s soft voice call out to you.

“Hey Y/N/N.”

You hum at first but it turns into a, “Yeah?” and you open your eyes slowly with a blissed look on your face as you turn to look at her.

At first you’re thankful she woke you again because it’s only early still, you definitely needed to not fall asleep just yet. But when you see your best friend turn to face you too, tucking her hand under her cheek to get comfortable over the plush pillows on her bed, you realise she wants to chat.

Amelia sighs softly and her face gets serious, and if that wasn’t enough to scare you a bit, it’s the way her tone changes as she starts saying, “I know you don’t want to hear it and I don’t mean it in the way it’s going to sound but if I don’t say it and you get hurt, I won’t forgive myself.”

Instantly, all the joy in your system disappears, dread seeping in for whatever it is she’s about to say. There’s nothing you’re actually expecting but the weight at the pit of your stomach is getting heavier the more time she takes to continue, “What is it Ames?”

“I know you’re having a lot of fun with Matty and I'm really happy for you.” You almost tune out at the mention of his name, but seeing how serious she is you know it’s another one of those times you need to listen to her, “I truly, honestly am.” She reassures with a slight raise of her eyebrows and a nod as if to emphasise her point.

Yet you’re left waiting for the inevitable but, and sure enough, it comes after a fair few seconds, “But I just want you to be careful… I don’t want you to get feelings, or more feelings, when it could just end up being a friends with benefits thing.”

You’re truly at a loss for words as the wheel inside your brain starts to spin and the more seconds pass, the faster it spins.

Amelia has been your best friend for years and whilst she’s had your back unconditionally for what seems like forever now, she’s also always been honest with you. Whether it was you making a stupid mistake that you were too stubborn to admit fault to, an outfit that just didn’t look good, pushing you to say sorry when you had to or you pining over someone who didn’t deserve you at all. She’s always been the one to say it like it was and kindly enough to have you snap out of so many trances.

Never have you ever gotten angry at her, because you’ve learned that she always wants the best for you and even when the truth hurts, at the end of the day you realised she was right and she was watching out for you.

So the first thing you feel deep in your chest isn’t anger, it’s just that pinch of hurt when you know someone says what you don’t want to hear but it’s not something that’s necessarily wrong. But that doesn’t make it any less painful to hear.

“I'm not saying stop,” She continues in slight panic at the change in your facial expression, “I can see how happy he makes you and how happy you seem to make him. And I don’t think he would have had you around for a full week if he was just going to fuck and dump you, but maybe when you go back you could get some clarity on it? Ask him about it maybe? Because the last thing I want is for him to hurt you.”

Her suggestions are thrown in the air as a way to alleviate the growing tension around you now, hanging over you like a dark cloud that tells you it’s about to storm. But even seeing her soft awkward grin as she finishes her thoughts, you can’t seem to properly muster any logical sentences.

Your words get tangled on the tip of your tongue and you stutter for a few seconds before you let out a loud sigh and chuckle meekly, slightly shaking your head in disbelief, “Thanks Ames.”

Amelia winces at your response and the words leave her before you can continue saying anything else, “I don’t want you to hate me for saying it, Y/N/N.”

You know she doesn’t mean it like that so you quickly reassure her that your reaction doesn’t mean that you hate her for saying it, “I don’t. I-,”

Inhaling deeply through your nose before you can give her a deeper insight into what’s been going on between the singer and you. “He’s told me things that I don’t think you’d tell a fuck buddy. Things about his past that he got upset about. I don’t think you cry to your fuck buddies Ames.”

It’s not that you mind her being worried about you, but it wasn’t as if Matty is all you’ve been going on about today. It wasn’t like your world has just stopped and it now solely focuses on him, because it really doesn’t. You’ve maybe mentioned the singer a handful of times today, most of the time telling her that he said hello to her or that he hoped that the both of you were having a nice time.

Nodding slowly, she takes in what you're saying but she recoils into herself a bit when you continue to say, “And I'm not stupid, I'm not getting my hopes up for anything more just yet, I just want to enjoy what it is for now.”

Because Amelia of all people knows that you haven't had anything like this in a long time. You’ve been on your own for probably too long and you feel like some of the joy from the past week has just been invalidated when you weren’t even trying to make it into something it wasn’t.

“I understand. But it’s worth having the conversation.” Amelia explains herself again and you nod taking in every word she says, “I don’t want you to be a placeholder for him. I don’t want you to be someone who’s willing to fuck him and then he fucks you off after the London dates on his tour.”

That has you sighing again, that last half feeling like a gut punch. But you somehow manage to nod, “I know, and I do mean the thank you I said, but I don’t wanna be thinking about that whilst we’re out here okay?”

You were just having such a lovely moment of peace and appreciation for everything turning out better than you could’ve ever expected and now all you can taste is bitterness coating the back of your throat. “It’s not really something you can ask over the phone. And I want this to be a good experience. I don’t wanna be worrying about Matty whilst I’m out here.”

You mean that and even though you have been texting him here and there throughout the day, you’ve made sure to be mindful and enjoy every second you can with your best friend in this amazing opportunity you’ve got.

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t really know when to talk to you about it.” Her eyes show you just how much she didn’t mean to upset you, and they soften when she looks at you still sporting a blank face.

And despite knowing that, it unfortunately doesn’t make that sinking feeling in your chest go away. You feel like the mere mention of it has cracked open a can of worms that can’t be sealed again. The seeds of doubt that you’ve been ignoring to spare yourself the worry are now fixed and prominent. It all feels a little too much when you just wanted to have some fun with a man you’ve always found horrendously attractive.

“I’m only a week into it all Ames.” You remind her and then you also refresh her memories of her and a certain rapper by saying, “I at least gave you a good few weeks with Harry before I told you to watch out.”

She nods remembering then how that had gone, “And whilst I love you for that, I know that you’ve liked Matty for a lot longer than I liked him. A year to a decade… I just don’t want him to hurt you or ruin his music for you.”

She’s so serious it half makes you want to laugh, your best friend regarding the value of the band’s music as much as your heart being mistreated is the tiniest bit amusing to you.

“It won’t. Nothing could ruin his music for me. Not even him.” You promise, staring right into her eyes and then you plead, “I understand but for now I just want it out of my mind please. I appreciate you but please don’t bring this back up whilst we’re here. I want your support back.”

Reaching out for her hand, she meets you in the middle intertwining your fingers and then giving you a firm squeeze. A silent love you, one that you reciprocate by squeezing her hand back.

“Okay. You’ve got it. I am really really happy you’re happy, you know?” Her lips curl up in a cute shy smile, seeing as the matter is still a bit tender but trying to help you relax again.

Not that you can find it in yourself to do it after that but you try to match her smile, failing apparently because you see Amelia’s face falling as she watches you say, “I know.”

So Amelia is soon shuffling closer to you, cradling your head with her hand so you can cuddle against her chest. She leaves a kiss atop of your head and you hum softly as a thank you, which you truly mean - she’s the one person you know you wouldn’t be able to live without and her opinions are not ones you wave off or take lightly.

However, it feels like the night just turned sour, because 5 minutes ago if your best friend cuddled you like she is doing now, you would be entirely content with it. Now, all you want to do is disappear off into your own room and release the sob that’s causing the ball in your throat.

You can’t do that though, because the last thing you need is to let your best friend see that she’s upset you. The first reason being is that you don’t want to make her feel guilty for upsetting you when she’s got your best interests at heart, but mostly because you don’t want her to think that your tears are proof of her being correct. So you hold it in, not letting her think she’s affected you at all.

Sleep has escaped you now entirely, the few minutes of her cuddling you are not peaceful like she probably intended. Instead, you’ve started to overthink what she’s just said, her words repeating in your head like a broken record. It makes your throat tighten even more despite knowing she’s right, but you hate the sour taste in your mouth.

There’s only so long you can last before you get up and go to your room under the false pretence that you’re really tired. Amelia hugs you one more time and again you pretend like you’re fine, but your best friend knows you well enough and can see you’re faking. She regrets bringing it up before the awards, thinking it’s not fair to have added that to your plate along with the stress you’re both feeling.

All she can do so she doesn’t bring it up again is grab your hand and remind you that she loves you. Something which you say back to her and she’s beyond grateful you said it back.

Finding yourself back in bed, now in your hotel room, unfortunately your mind goes back to your conversation and begins replaying every word she’s said.

Like a broken record, spinning over and over, until you lose track of time and when your phone pings from where it’s charging on top of the nightstand, you softly gasp at it being 7pm when the last time you saw the time it was 4pm and you and Amelia were complaining about jetlag betraying you and making you look like even worse grandmas that you already were.

When you get your phone, you see Matty’s messages flash on the screen. Another one coming through as you unlock your phone.

How’s jetlag treating you baby? x is the first one he’s sent, followed by, You better not be asleep yet cos I will laugh if you are, you gilf x

You giggle to yourself at the use of the term, thinking back to how the term came to be used for you and how insane it is that the week of holidays you spent texting and facetime feels so long ago now.

Deciding to be fully honest and give into the distraction from your thoughts, you type, It’s kicking my arse 🙁 and as soon that has sent, you send a second text that reads, How’d you even do it? Tour must be so exhausting x

You get used to it x reads the almost instant text he sends but then you’re waiting for what he’s gonna say next as the bubble appears and you’re watching the three dots flicker with anticipation.

A few seconds later it comes through and you’re giggling when you read, You learn to find how to keep yourself distracted more like, to forget you’re tired in the first place x

Cheekily, you ask, Is that code for something? x and to tease him a bit, you add, If so I have to add it to the list under ‘socialising’ as Ross gave us the meaning to that one x

A chesty laugh falls from your lips when his next text comes through and it plainly says, Let’s actually ban the topic of Ross from conversation x

And it’s impossible for you to hold back from using that to provoke him a bit, Ooo is someone jealous? x

His answer isn’t quite what you expected and it earns a gasp out of you when you read he’s said, You, still, of that kiss I gave him x and the memory of you posting that to your instagram comes to bite you on the arse.

The only thing you can think of replying is with a sarcastic, You think you’re funny x

Which he refutes effortlessly with, I know I’m fucking hilarious baby x

Biting your lip and feeling your cheeks heat up, your fingers type an earnest confession that you hope he reciprocates, I miss you xx

But your blood goes cold when his response comes through and it’s just, Oh you miss me? Yeah well, you haven’t had anyone to fuck you good all week so I was expecting that x

Reading that text sinks your heart, and it shouldn’t because you know in any other moment you would’ve found it hilarious and chatted back almost automatically but after having Amelia’s words engraved in the walls of your brain after replaying them so much, you’re left with the awful feeling that she might be right.

You try not to cry when you’re unable to stop yourself from overthinking. Oh you miss me? Yeah well, you haven’t had anyone to fuck you good all week so I was expecting that x. You had just said you missed him and that being the response leaves you gutted.

What if that’s actually all that it is for him? What if everything had just been to ease you into bed with him and now that he had you in the palm of his hand, he was reaching out to you to get some sort of release?

After all it was 3am for him, which other reason would there be for him to be texting this late when he should’ve been tired enough to be out the second he got in his bunk. The ghost of the conversation about his nightmares pokes at your racing mind and whilst your logical side is screaming at you about that being a reason for his texts this late in the evening, you’re far too gone to even try and change your mind.

You’re so stupid. And all you want to do is cry into your pillow.

But you still have got makeup on and, if it was any other day, you’d let the sadness push you to fall asleep with it on but tomorrow you start prepping for the bloody Golden Globes. Rehearsals start early in the morning, and the last thing you want the day after when you’re on the red carpet is a surprise spot appearing on your skin when you’re about to be photographed left, right and centre.

Your feet lazily take you up to the bathroom and you’re languidly getting a makeup wipe when your ringtone startles you. You’re slightly faster in getting your phone because the noise is threatening to push you further into getting a headache.

And then you see it, Matty on the screen, wanting to facetime you and there’s that sinking feeling getting heavier inside you. You know you’ve left him on read, and it’s now that you realise that was half an hour ago and you feel bad.

You consider not answering, blaming it on falling asleep but deep inside you want some sort of comfort, a sign of an answer that maybe Amelia is wrong - that maybe this time she has misread the situation.

So you swipe on your screen as you go back to the bathroom, taking the makeup off your face and looking at your reflection in the mirror rather than at him on your phone.

“Hi baby.” Matty says with a smile, you can catch it faintly from the way the brightness of his screen is lighting up his face.

“Hi.” You reply sheepishly, and that tone is enough for him to know something’s not right.

“What’s wrong?” He asks with a pout, then he backtracks trying to think of what’s gotten you upset and he quickly adds, “You know I was joking right?” He’s silently hoping that isn’t it though, the last thing he wanted was to get you upset but he knows how sometimes jokes don’t land right through text.

You panic as though he’s just been able to read your mind and your mouth is faster than you spilling something else out so he doesn’t think it is exactly that which has you like this. Well that and Amelia’s worries. So putting the now used makeup wipe down by the sink, you shake your head.

“It’s not-” You try to deny but everything is sitting heavy on your chest and your eyes begin to well up on their own accord.

You still can’t look at your phone and you think you’re even more pathetic about letting this get to you. And you know it’s only affecting you so much because you’ve been awake well over 24 hours to try and get your body clock in order for tomorrow, but it’s completely taken away your composure. So you just end up blaming everything on that.

“I- I’m so nervous and overwhelmed, and this jetlag is actually making me want to fucking cry.” At the end you actually let out a pathetic little sob which breaks his heart, you’re holding onto the marble top where the sink is and hang your head so your hair covers your face while you silently cry.

“Oh no babyyy,” You hear him say through the phone, perhaps a bit louder than he should in a bus filled with his sleeping bandmates, “You should’ve said you were upset, I wouldn’t have been an absolute dick then.”

You shake your head and sniffle but when you’re about to put your head up to look at him on the screen, another cry bursts through you and you let your head fall down once more.

“Baby don’t cry, I’m sorry.” His heart hurts in his chest, “Fuck, I’m such an idiot.”

He could feel something was wrong as soon as his message went from sent to read and there was no sign of the three dots. Somehow he just knew and the sinking feeling in his stomach made him FaceTime you, and now he's beyond thankful he did.

“No,” You sniffle loudly and force yourself to look up.

Your throat is so choked up, it’s difficult to get anything out at all. You have to look away from him for a second and you cover your mouth with your fist for a few seconds.

Matty’s heart hurts seeing the shine of your eyes as they well up again, and he wants to say something but you look like you need to work through it for a second so he waits until you’ve taken a few deep breaths and look back at him. “Can you podcast me baby… Please?” You just about get out.

You wipe your tears quickly and you look at him, giving him a soft smile and getting a new wipe to continue taking your makeup off. After swallowing the lump in your throat, you say, “Tell me how the show was tonight.”

Matty makes sure to be the most dramatic to get a smile out of you, even a laugh if he’s lucky enough, “Well obviously brilliant ‘cause it’s us.” He rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue, shaking his head a bit and his curls bounce at the movement.

Your short snort makes him grin harder, and you reply with a blunt, “Right.” as if you don’t believe that statement.

He lets his jaw fall like he’s deeply offended and then points an accusing finger at you as he calls you out by saying, “Don’t act like you don’t agree baby, you’ve been here for almost a decade and that means something.”

You finish removing your makeup then, so you raise your hands up to feign innocence, “I was agreeing.”

The curly headed brunette narrows his eyes at you and keeps quiet for a mere few seconds, acting like he’s debating whether he believes you or not, until he decides, “Good, because I also wore leather tonight in your honour.”

A little smirk tugs at the corners of your lips, “Ooooo” you mutter teasingly while you try to picture in your head what exactly he’s worn tonight. You curse yourself for being in your head so much and forgetting to check twitter for your daily dose of tour content.

Before you can say anything else, though, he adds, “Because I miss you. A lot.” and you didn’t know how much you wanted to hear that until then.

It’s like the simple reassurance that he indeed does miss you too, quiets down the storm in your head. You can breathe a little better, all the while you can also feel your heart swell up inside your chest and you can’t not reciprocate the feeling, “Miss you too.”

The singer pouts at the fact that he has to tell you this through the phone and can’t give you a cuddle so he gets an idea that makes him inquire, “Where’s Amelia? I want her to hug you for me.”

That question shouldn’t be something to bring up suspicion but Matty doesn’t miss the way your face falls at the mention of your best friend and right then he gets this gut feeling that maybe something happened between you two that also has you upset.

Somehow, your awkward, “Erm, she’s in her room.” gives it away even more and though he wants nothing more than to ask you about it, he’d rather not have you upset and crying again when he knows you can be laughing and smiling when talking about something else.

So taking a bit of a pause, he thinks and ends up asking you, “Have you gone to see the Hollywood sign yet?”

You go off frame as you go to throw the makeup wipes to the bin and then splash your face with some water to wash your face. “Yes, a fucking awful hike but t’was pretty.” Is what you reply, remembering just how much you were sweating earlier but also shivering a bit at the stark contrast when you went back to the car.

Matty watches as you pour something in the palm of your hand and rub it together between your hands before rubbing it on your face until it becomes foamy. “It isn’t hot though is it?” It’s just the second week of January and he has a faint memory of being in the west coast during that time of the year and it not being hot at all, “At least you weren’t fucking cooking while going up there.”

You quickly wash the cleanser off and whilst you’re patting your face dry, you continue giving him the details, “Wind was cold but the sun was out so we were cooking in our jackets. The desert weather is confusing.”

“More confusing than ours?” His tone is almost teasing, making you smile a bit to yourself under his gaze.

“A bit yeah.” You nod, opening your little moisturiser tub and getting some to apply onto your face.

The second you dot it around your face and neck, he’s asking, “Is that the cream I like you’re putting on?”

The massive grin that appears on your face is impossible to hold back, not when the memories of you having to do the same you’re doing to yourself on him the whole past week when he watched you through the mirror getting ready for bed.

“Yeah. You’ve made me go through half my bottle already though, you little shit.” In slow soft motions, you’re rubbing it on your skin and you relish in the cooling feeling of the gel like cream on your face.

He clicks his tongue like that’s not even an issue, “Don’t worry baby, I’ll get you more when you come back.”

Humming, you warn him, “I’ll remind you of that.”

“Yeah ‘cause I’m in actual need to relax like when you put all those things on my face.” Matty admits and it makes you want to giggle.

A snort escapes your lips, “You mean when I do your skin care?”

“Mhm, I love it.”

Rolling your eyes, you call him out, “I know you do, you’re so needy.”

But he then reminds you, “I told you I was.” and you two share loopy grins through the screen as you see the memories of your first date showing in the forefront of your minds.

“That you did.” You nod, agreeing with him and tapping some eye cream over your eye bags. Covering your mouth when you yawn, you look at the time and ask him with a frown, “Isn’t it almost 4am for you?”

Matty pauses for a second, glancing up to see the time in the corner of his phone screen and is rather surprised, “Oh yeah, I guess so.” And trying to get you laughing again, he continues with, “Quick maths baby, that’s impressive.”

But the lack of sleep he’s currently having has you worried enough to inquire, “Is everything alright?” You don’t want to explicitly ask if he’s gotten any nightmares, especially since he’s sleeping in a moving vehicle but from the look in his eyes, you know he knows exactly what you mean by that.

His chest tightens at how cute you are so he calms your worries by explaining, “Yes, nothing’s wrong, just a bit of insomnia ‘cause I’m still feeling the energy from the gig.”

“Okay, if you say so.” Your trust that he’d tell you if he was having nightmares has faltered slightly after what was said earlier. You feel so stupid being hung up on it, but just the thought of opening up to each other only being so you could get something physical out of each other makes you start to spiral again.

You’re cut short, not even being able to lose it again when he continues saying, “Wish I could have you here though, I wanna cuddle you so badly.”

A bit apprehensive, you sigh, “Me too.” but then you can’t keep from being honest with him, “I’m too nervous about tomorrow, and that’s only rehearsals, I don’t know if I’m even gonna be able to sleep tomorrow night.”

“Baby you’re gonna do amazing.” He assures you with sweet conviction, “You and Amelia. You always do.”

Your insides flood with warmth and you try to ignore it so he can’t catch how flustered you are by the compliment. “You’re being nice.”

“No, I mean it. You learned all that information about everyone attending so easily, I don’t think I’ve known more about the current film and TV culture than now after you’ve told me everything you know when you were practising.”

You’re chuckling then, leave it to him to not keep up to date to the most current media to be consumed. Getting your phone and exiting the bathroom after turning off the lights, you leave your phone on the floor by your case while you look for your pyjamas, “You’re an old man. Absolute grandpa.” You rub it in like it’s gonna offend him but you should’ve expected the opposite.

“And you’re my gilf, remember?” You hear the smirk before you can see it, but you don’t give him the pleasure of a reply as you just start stripping down to your underwear and put on your cute pyjama set that consists of a button up shirt and some matching shorts.

“Those pyjamas are cute.” Matty compliments, catching the chicken nuggets and the little ketchup packets all over them.

“Right!” You reply all excited, taking the moment to appreciate the clothes again, “Our manager gave them to us for Christmas, has my name right here.” You show him the embroidered Y/N that rests over your left breast with a cute smile on your face.

He smiles right back, “That’s cute. You look better in my clothes though.” He quips back, and you’re about to taunt him by arguing the pyjamas are better than his shirts when he just sighs longingly and says, “You’re so stunning baby.”

You’d just set up your phone against the lamp on the nightstand so you can talk to him as you get in bed but you freeze in your spot, sitting on the edge of the bed, lips pressing together so a big smile doesn’t break on your face.

“Stop,” You warn and then cup your cheeks with your cold hands, “You’re making me flustered.”

Matty knows you’re flustered so he grins proudly at you and admits, “I know, that’s what I’m aiming for.”

“Well you’re not allowed.” You chat back like that’s enough of an argument against him.

Trying not to giggle, he asks, “Why?”

“Because no.” You reply through your teeth, avoiding much eye contact because you know that’ll get you even worse and you don’t need that now.

“Oh but why,” His grin is huge, “Look at that smile!”

He’s impossible not to react to, so you hide behind your hands and whine, “You’re so annoying.” a bit louder than you anticipated.

“Say that again.” He suggests with a smirk on his face, once again, one that you can hear before you see it.

Your hands fall from your face, your smile stuck on your face even when you try to act menacing as you narrow your eyes and says a quick, “Fuck you.”

You can never win, not when he chuckles and quips back with, “You wish you were.” and all you can do is shriek and tell him he’s insufferable again.

Both of you giggle until a comfortable silence falls between you and you end up silently smiling at one another. That is until you rub your eyes a little, getting tired once again, but Matty just needs to know, so he asks softly, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” You nod, giving him a small smile, “Everythings just-” You pause for a second not wanting to get emotional again, so you release a long breath and continue, “A lot.”

Matty sees your eyes get a little glossy again, but not nearly as fast as last time. So he quickly intervenes and tries to make you laugh.

“I can’t believe the first time you’re upset in front of me is when I'm over five thousand miles away from you.” Matty says loudly and dramatically, and he moves the camera closer so he can tell you off. “You’re not allowed to do that in future. If you’re upset you have to just come and cuddle me, yeah? No messing about, I just hug you until you start to feel better okay, like you did for me.”

Your chest aches at the mere thought. That is all you want right now. You don’t know how he could get any cuter.

Matty’s smile is huge when he promises, “I’ll do whatever you need.”

All you want to do is give him a hug, so you just curl up in bed and hug your pillow and prop him up against the lamp on the bedside table so you can still talk. Once you’re settled and you’re smiling at him, you say, “Should have brought my blanket with me so I can pretend I’ve got you cuddling me.”

Matty chuckles at that, loving seeing the smile on your face. He doesn’t hesitate to say, “If I wasn’t on tour I would have flown out with you.”

You almost snort at that despite the fact you know he’s being genuine and serious, you just elect to tease him, “Such a flirt with those big gestures of yours.”

“Well, you know me.” Matty chuckles, “I don’t do half-hearted.”

After that you make him go to his bunk and at least try to get some sleep. You end up whispering to each other as you watch the other slowly fall asleep. Thankfully you see Matty dose off first so there’s a content smile on your face as your eyes slowly close and you let sleep take you.

~*~*~*~*~*~

You wake up the next morning with a smile on your face. One entirely brought by your conversation with Matty having settled down your doubts, one that lasted all throughout the time you were getting ready to leave for rehearsals, breakfast and on the way to the venue.

When you hit the red carpet, nerves overcame you but joy filled every corner of your body along with the intense impostor syndrome that you were starting to get acquainted with. It all was eliciting a massive smile from you which hurt your cheekbones, you just couldn’t quite believe you were there. And Amelia was feeling just the same.

Rehearsals are almost done, you and Amelia had been there for hours by then and it was mental to see the various interviewers there with their respective crews rehearsing for the very next day. Your crew tells you you’re almost done, only having to go over the last bit which was basically the send off once you’d wrap your section up the next day, and after that you were good to go back to the hotel.

But before you can finish that up, the crew give you a five minute break whilst they figure out some things behind the scenes.

Once you two finally have a moment to finally breathe, that’s when your best friend comes up to you and brings back the chat you’d rather keep buried.

“Y/N/N, I’m sorry,” Amelia starts saying, lowering her microphone and cue cards until they’re pressed beside her thigh and the grin she had on her face is replaced by her furrowed brows and lips pressed together in sorrow when looking back, “About last night, I shouldn’t have said what I said. I know better than that and there’s only so much I know about what you have with Matty, and even though it seems-”

“Ames.” You cut her off before she can say more because your heart was already sinking and you felt yourself start going cold since you had no idea what to expect now. “Don’t. I know what you meant last night and I appreciate your concern, you know I do, but please let’s not do this right now.”

“But-,” Amelia tried to get her words out again but you wouldn’t budge.

“Not here Ames.” You pleaded once more, the last thing you wanted was to get upset in the middle of rehearsals and in front of the crew. Dryly adding, “We can do this back at the hotel, if you insist on continuing the conversation.”

Thankfully Amelia accepts your bargain, not wanting to have you upset again at the venue, so she just presses her lips together and nods.

“Right.” She agrees and coming closer to you, she throws her arm around your shoulder and hugs you into her side, “Love you, Y/N/N.”

You smile back, thankful for her understanding, leaning into her and reciprocating the feeling, “Love you too, Ames.”

After that, you had used the few minutes left of your rest to openly marvel about the whole thing to each other, pinching each other’s arms at the same time and exploding in giggles when you realised you really weren’t dreaming.

The rest of the rehearsal went smoothly and once you wrapped up, the crew congratulated you on a brilliant rehearsal and let you go.

As soon as you get to the hotel, you order room service and do a repeat of the previous night, watching a film as you eat but this time the film is completely forgotten because once you remember just how big the ceremony is, you two frantically look for you flash cards with information so you can go over it all to ensure you don’t fuck up the next day.

Thankfully, that had been why you both forgot to speak about your situation with Matty. So by the time you’re doing your skin care and getting ready to head to bed, texting Matty until he stopped replying because he definitely fell asleep, you have a massive grin on your face and your anticipation for the following day is doing nothing but bubble up your chest and make your stomach flutter.

~*~*~*~

The next morning was even more nerve-racking. You had taken longer having breakfast because the nerves weren’t helping with your ability to swallow your food without feeling like it could come right back up the next second.

But when your team got to the hotel and everyone was gathered in Amelia’s room to do a little speech of encouragement and congratulate everyone for such a big achievement, you and Amelia settled a bit.

You’re just coming out of taking a shower, being ushered by your manager who had just come back from hurrying Amelia up since she had taken a long time in the shower too, when you hear your phone ringing with what you know it’s a facetime call.

And it’s not hard to guess who it is.

The smirk on your manager’s face is enough for you to know you guessed right and when she hands you your phone, you answer Matty’s call with a bright smile.

“Hiya baby.” He greets loudly, making everyone in the room turn to look at you with a teasing smirk.

That detail being unbeknownst to him has him thinking that you’re blushing over his mere use of the pet name so he playfully calls you out by saying, “Blushing already? I haven’t even said anything yet, baby.”

Before he can even think of opening his mouth again, you’re calling out loud, “Right, someone get me my airpods please.”

Once he heard that, he realised what had happened and the situation only elicited a loud cackle from him. He found out after New Years that he enjoyed a lot when you got flustered at the things he’d say in public, your bright red cheeks making you seem all innocent as if you wouldn’t love to hear the things he said in private, as if you wouldn’t reply with something even worse.

It gets worse for you when he cheekily adds, “Please do get her AirPods, things are about to get raunchy.”

“Shut up!” You hiss through your teeth, making everyone in the room laugh at your embarrassed state. And when your stylist finally finds your airpods inside your bag and hands them to you, you thank her almost impatiently.

Clearing your throat, you put your airpods in your ears and only then is that you greet him back, “Hello, you menace.”

“Oh, please, you love me.” He quips back, rolling his eyes as he brushes his hair back and you’re so beyond happy to see his curls free of any product.

Still, you don’t let it show as you sigh and give him a meek, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” in response.

“You’re in denial baby,” He tuts, clicking his tongue as he shakes his head but he doesn’t let you say anything back because then he lets his sweet smile back on his face and he genuinely asks, “How’s your morning going?”

“I’m shitting bricks.” You admit quite honestly, stifling a laugh by biting your bottom lip.

Matty actually lets his amusement show with another loud string of giggles, the sound hitting your ears warm you up inside and has your chest feeling tight from how much you miss him.

“You’re gonna do amazing, baby. Nothing to be nervous about.”

His tone is so nonchalant, it has you scoffing. You know it is because he has faith in you and how good you are at your job, but you decide joking about it rather than accepting the compliment will help you a bit more.

So you reply with, “Of course you’d say that, nepo baby. That’s your crowd.”

“Oi!” He calls out by pointing a finger at you through the screen but eventually lets his expression change from scornful to smug, “You’re just jealous.”

You’re so glad your makeup artist decides to come up to you and start your skin prep then because, as she delicately rubs a moisturiser on your skin, you can look even more unbothered when you reply, “Sure I am.”

You fall silent as you’re getting pampered, your eyes closing involuntarily at the soft touches on your face, but Matty stays silent too, just fully admiring the view of your pretty and relaxed face.

He breaks the silence when a sweet, “Baby, you’re so fucking beautiful.” falls from his lips, making a big grin tug at the corner of your lips and you let your eyes open again to see your screen, only to find him staring at you with the most adoring look on his face.

“Thank you baby.” You reply wholeheartedly, making his heart rate stutter when you use the pet name on him.

Rather impatiently, he asks right away, “Can I see your dress yet?”

“Not yet.” You had purposely kept that to yourself, fully wanting his anticipation for it to build up for as long as it could. “Patience is a virtue.”

“It’s overrated.” Matty counters your words with his eyebrows raised and a look of defiance as if he’s challenging you to show him the dress. But you shake your head and all he does is sigh and change his question to, “Am I getting pictures?”

Yet, you aren’t giving in that easily, not when you can taunt him a bit more. “If I’m feeling generous…”

Something inside him ignites and how he wishes he could have you next to him in that very moment so he could kiss you until you break. “You better.”

“Or what?” You push further, biting your bottom lip withholding a smirk that wants to break on your face.

But it seems the singer has got no taste for explicitness any more, for he just shakes his head at you for being trouble and settles for saying, “You’ll see when you come back.”

You let your voice drop a little, mischief making your eyes gleam as you look at him, “Is that a threat or a promise?”

Matty smirks at your advances and lets you have this moment, winking at you when he says, “Whichever you want it to be, baby.” That spark you ignite within him comes alive and makes him desperate to have you back, so he asks somewhat breathlessly, “When’s your flight leaving?”

You have a think about your tight schedule for the day and recall, “10pm tonight so I should be at Heathrow by 5pm tomorrow.”

That sounds like the most amazing news to him and he shows you a massive grin when he realises you’re arriving, “Right after soundcheck…” meaning he can go get you.

You’re only teasing when you say, “Are you coming to pick me up?” Silently wishing he does though, because if there’s anything you’re dying to do once you get back home is hugging him again.

“‘Course I am, baby.” He clicks his tongue like he can’t believe you’re asking him about that, “D’you really think I won’t want you beside me the second we’re in the same city?”

You have to press your lips together not to show just how fucking happy his words make you, you cheeks heating up slightly and a squeaky, “Aren’t you cute!” escapes your lips.

But Matty seems too smug when he hears that and agrees with a quick, “I know, I know.”

So you snort to yourself and playfully roll your eyes, “It’s gonna be an issue with everything getting to your head.”

“Is it? Thought you loved it. It’s always been me, you wouldn’t be here now if you didn’t love it.” He loves calling you out on how long you’ve been a fan when you try to act like he’s being annoying, because there’s really nothing you can argue back with.

With a sigh, you state, “See, I’m not answering that in the slightest because you’ll find a way to have it feed your ego.”

Playing with you, he scoffs and complains, “People will hear you and think I’m a narcissist.”

His faux offended state makes you giggled, “Where did all your self awareness go? You are one.”

“Am I?” His curls bounce in his head when he looks up and to the sides as if he’s thinking about it and somehow comes to the conclusion that, “Sometimes it’s a compliment you know.”

You roll your eyes again and chat back by calling him, “Okay Mr. Big Head.” but you’re so happy on the inside that you’ve got him like this on the phone again. It feels just like the first week of the year and all those times you’ve texted before. Everything Amelia said two days before has been swept right out of your brain and you’re so fucking grateful.

You’re brought back to reality when you hear him cheekily say, “You’ve never once complained about my big head.” And with an even more suggestive tone, he adds, “Think you actually quite enjoy it, baby.”

Jaw dropped, you gasp and whisper-shout, “Shush!” at him.

Which elicits uncontrollable giggles from him that have you almost breaking and laughing along with him, “What?!” He says aloud like he’s not just said what he has said, “You’ve got your airpods in!”

And even though he’s right, you don’t let him be and scorn him, “Still!”

“Oh come on baby,” He calls your bluff act out,  “I know you’re dying to say something back to that. I can see it in your face.”

Before you can even think of a response, you’re having two gold patches pressed over your under eyes as another step on your skin prep and Matty is suddenly envious of the pampering.

He also is reminiscing of you doing his skin care and he misses your touch on his skin, however innocent it could be. Like a little kid asking for a new toy, he gasps and demands, “I want those!”

And you have his jaw falling agape when you glance at him and nod, “You need them. Look at those eyebags.”

He’s fully offended, his jaw fallen and eyes empty as he can’t believe you’ve just said that, and the visual makes you laugh so hard that your patches are falling off your face so you cackles turn into a noise of subtle panic which has your makeup artist turning and scorn you for not staying still.

“S’not my fault! He’s making me laugh!” You excused yourself in between chuckles and Matty laughed even harder in your ear, making your chuckles turn into cackles again and the patches to fall down again.

You manage to catch one of the patches on the palm of your free hand, the other one hitting your thigh which was covered by your white robe.

And once again you get scorned, for which you pout trying to put the blame on Matty. That somehow ends with you being convinced to put him on speaker and you swear you have never had a funnier day getting ready for a massive event in your life.

The whole time, everyone has been laughing at Matty’s and your antics, multiple times your makeup artist has had to stop herself from starting the next step in your eye makeup because of how hard she was laughing and she was trying not to fuck up.

Eventually, when you’re miraculously ready to go and they’re waiting for you to head downstairs to leave for the red carpet, you have to say goodbye to your curly headed boy who wishes you the best of luck and admits out loud just how excited he is to have you back beside him.

You smile so hard looking at your phone and saying you feel just the same, blowing him a kiss and giving him a quick wave you hang up and when you lift your head up is that you realise the whole thing has been recorded.

“Oh right, we were filming a get ready with me.” You bite your bottom lip as your cheeks heat up and you pray at least Amelia got proper footage because you were excited to edit and post that as soon as you could.

Your manager laughs, handing you the camera so you can film yourself walking out but she shrugs, “T’was cute.”

You’re so glad you’re quickly ushered out of your room, your manager quickly following behind and there you meet Amelia to take pictures in the hallway.

That is when your nerves start hitting again, making your hands shake as you hold each other and pose for the camera. You both are mumbling pure gibberish, just trying to let it all out, doing a little Sharpay Evans looking at each other and mentally preparing yourselves for what is going to be a wonderful evening.

~*~*~*~

That red carpet had been an absolute dream.

You had managed to do the Wednesday dance with henry Winkler, have Guillermo del Toro rub your lucky egg, ask Anya Taylor-Joy and Daisy Edgar Jones for dating advice, find out Letitia Wright’s favourite tube line, meet Paul Dano, and witness Andrew flirting with Amelia like they were the only ones in the room.

Both of you are buzzing with energy by the time the carpet starts emptying out, everyone going inside the venue for it gets closer to the ceremony starting time, and you get even more of a rush when you remember this means you’re closer to setting off for the airport so you can go back to London.

You’re practically counting down the minutes when security starts letting the people into the area to start cleaning up, your gaze going over every member of the crew looking for a sign of them finally calling it up as wrapped, and this all doesn’t go unnoticed by your best friend.

Amelia knows exactly why you’re so happy and it warms her heart. After experiencing this together, seeing you doing good in other areas of your life is just what she wants but there’s that nagging feeling in the back of her head that tells her she needs to let her thoughts out before it’s too late and the damage is done.

Now, she is praying that not a single thing goes wrong and that this is where everything starts making sense for you, but she’d hate it if she let you go without advising you to be careful one last time.

So she waits a little, after you’re both congratulated and thanked by the crew for doing such a great job, so when you’re off with your manager and waiting to get picked up, Amelia grabs you by your hand and makes you turn to her.

“Y/N,” She starts with a tone of her voice that has you just knowing exactly what this is so you clearly tense up in front of her. “We didn’t really have the time to continue speaking about it yesterday but I wanted to tell you just before you leave: please be careful.”

Before you are even able to tell her that you know, she continues with a worried face, “I know this is going good for you, and god do I really want this to work out for you but please, talk about it with him. Don’t let it pass any longer because that’ll only make it worse if something happens.”

Your brows furrow and you purse your lips trying to fight the upsetting feeling rising up your throat. You haven’t got a clue about what to say back, your thoughts now going back to your situation and turning everything to look for bad things about it and you hate that you do.

Just because you don’t want to show her how much her words have affected you again, you nod and squeeze her hand as a silent thank you, “I know and I will.” You say the calmest you can and just so she doesn’t get the chance to ask about it, you hug her and press a kiss on her cheek before saying, “I’ll text you when I land.”

The “Alright.” she gives you as a response is faint as it reaches your ears in between the loud noise of the city, and you’re so grateful that the cab taking you arrives right as you are handed your suitcase, your bag and another bag with clothes for you to change into in the backseat of the car.

You turn back and wave Amelia goodbye, feeling your heart get heavier when you see her face and all you can hear is her words on an excruciating loop that feels like daggers to your chest.

Once you get your case in the boot of the car and you go inside it rather hastily, you change into a pair of jeans and a shirt, throwing your precious Drive Like I Do hoodie on top and putting your gown inside the bag it had come in, your manager helping you delicately store it inside it and promising to give it back to your stylist once she gets back to the hotel after dropping you off at the airport.

You knew you were going to cut it really close with how much of a short time you had between leaving the red carpet and going to the airport, so you’re finally breathing in relief when you get to your gate only ten minutes before you start boarding.

But once your mind is free from the stress of making it in time to catch your flight, all you can seem to focus on is every word that Amelia has said about you and Matty.

And unfortunately, you overthink every sentence she uttered for the first few hours of your flight. Fully giving into your insecurities has you spiralling so much that you end up falling asleep for a max of 3 hours, only waking up when the flight attendant gently taps your shoulder to ask you which meal they had for breakfast you’d like to choose.

And after that you just can’t go back to sleep. You’re left wondering which is the best way to bring the conversation up or if you even should, scared of completely ruining things by seeming too intense about it but also, deep down, wanting to know the answer yourself.

Sighing, you go on your camera roll and pray time goes faster as you edit your pictures and prepare drafts about the Golden Globes to post on your social media as soon as you land.

~*~*~*~

Getting off the plane and being back on home soil makes you feel so much better.

It’s like seeing the gloomy weather again and the cars having the steering wheels on the correct side engulf you in a hug and the familiarity of it all settles helps the weight on your chest feel a little lighter.

As soon as you landed you texted Matty telling him you just landed and that you’d be out as soon as possible. He replied not two minutes later telling you not to rush and that he would see you at the arrivals door.

God must be looking out for you when you get off the plane because you get through security without a hitch and your suitcase is one of the first 50 to come out. You’ve never been so excited to get off a plane and back home. Usually you’re mourning your holiday but now there’s nothing more that you want to do than to get to the O2 to see the gig you’ve been waiting months for.

Walking out into the room of people waiting to pick up their loved ones, and you think it would be difficult to spot Matty but he’s sticking out like a sore thumb, and you adore him for it. He’s standing there in his jeans and Chicken Shop Date hoodie with sunglasses on a white and green cap on his head.

But when he catches sight of you, he takes your breath away when he holds up a handmade sign with ‘Baby’ written on it with a small heart next to it. He’s grinning like you’re delivering him a birthday present, and you really hold yourself back from running towards him.

You walk straight towards him, and immediately you’re brought into quite possibly the best hug you’ve ever received.

“Hi Baby.” Matty whispers in your ear after he hugs you into him tightly.

You’re been held with such a strong hold that you think Matty must believe you’ll disappear if he lets you the tiniest bit loose. But you’re not complaining, you absolutely love it.

“Hi.” You whisper back, and you feel like you could cry.

You’re sure you’ve never been held so tightly and after everything going around your head over the last few days it feels so nice for it all to go quiet and you focus on him. Being back in his arms feels heavenly, and you don’t think you’ve ever felt so content hugging someone, so much that it makes your eyes well up a little.

Your heart skips a beat when he tells you, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” You say back, without any hesitation, but it comes out a little bit hoarse as the ball in your throat persists.

This makes Matty abandon his disguise though, he releases you from the hug, keeping close though, but he takes off his hat and sunglasses. Immediately his eyebrows are furrowed and he needs to make sure, “You okay?”

However, he can see that your eyes are a little glazed over. Not to mention you look really tired, but he still thinks you look just as gorgeous as you did last night, even if you are just in your jeans and an oversized Drive Like I Do hoodie.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just really jetlagged.” You nod, and Matty watches you, cupping your face as if he’s checking if you’re being honest or not. And you truly are so you smile, trying to convince him, “I’m fine, I promise.”

Matty thankfully believes you, and he gently strokes his thumb across your cheek as he tells you, “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

“Stop it,” You tell him, despite it really meaning a lot to hear. “I don’t want to get upset again.”

Matty chuckles at that but he looks straight into your eyes and repeats, “I really am though, you did amazing. I’m soproud of you.”

And you can’t stop yourself from leaning in to kiss him then, because you don’t have the words to express just how much that means to you without you breaking down. Jetlag messing with your sleep really has your emotions fucked, so you just pour everything you’re feeling into a kiss.

It feels like an age since your lips have been against his, and you certainly take your time to savour it now. It’s sweet, extremely sincere and the perfect way to round off your greeting back home. Matty can certainly feel you pouring your emotions into the kiss and he loves the way your arms loop around his neck to make sure he can’t escape from it.

Not that he wants to. He would die a happy man if he were to fall here and now. He has you back and that’s all he needs. He lets the kiss arrive at its natural ending and when you pull away the both of you are grinning like fools before Matty grabs your case and says, “Let’s go baby.”

You smile and follow him, not blaming him at all when he puts the cap and sunglasses back on because you understand that he doesn’t want to be recognised and mobbed when he has a show to get to. As soon as they are on he grabs your hand and you walk in step with each other as you head to his car.

It gives you a chance to take in his hat though and you’re sure it’s the Land Rover logo but with letters missing so it just says Lover. It makes you grin as it reminds you of one of your favourite songs and it turns out it's one of Matty’s too. What makes you giggle though is when you said you liked it because of that reason he took it off himself and put it on your head.

After that you thank Matty for coming to get you as you find his car and he assures you that it’s perfectly fine. And thankfully, the both of you make it back to London's best arena with plenty of time to spare.

Getting into the O2, Matty takes you straight to their green room where the rest of the band are and you greet them all with hugs and they congratulate you on last night's success. You thank them all and you love the hug that Charli gives you.

Here is where you meet Carly, and she’s just as wonderful as you expected her to be and really welcoming. And you really had to hold back your emotions when you were introduced to baby Hann by Uncle Matty. Seeing that man with a child is not something your brain can handle today so you were almost thankful when you were all interrupted by food being delivered.

It’s calm in there while you all eat, and you love that they are having a cheeky Nandos before they go out on stage. About half an hour later though, the room starts getting busier, people coming and going and you’re greeting a few new people you’ve not met before.

Matty has to leave the room for a few minutes, as he was called away by someone in the crew and he gave your thigh a quick squeeze before smiling, telling you he would be back soon. You’re left talking to Charli who is on the settee across from yours and you’re both giggling about how there’s definitely a connection between Amelia and Andrew Garfield before your attention is pulled back to the curly haired brunette.

“Hey baby?” Matty calls you from the door he’s just slipped back through.

You turn to look at him and smile, “Yeah?”

He looks all mischievous for some reason, as he’s grinning like a lunatic. But it makes sense when he explains, “I got you another date.”

“Okay…” You trail off, waiting for the grand reveal.

And to be perfectly honest, you’re expecting the fabulous Denise Welsh to walk through the door or the wonderful Tim Healy. But no.

Instead, Matty grins and pushes the door open all the way to reveal Taylor Swift standing in the doorway.

“Fuck off.” You gasp, your eyes instantly going wide and your hand comes up to almost shield your face. You don’t know why, but they do, and your now half shaking hands come up to cover your mouth as you watch Taylor walk further into the room giggling at your reaction. You bring your hands up to cover your whole face this time when the words slip from your lips again, “No, fuck off.”

At that, all you can do is let yourself fall into the back of the settee you’re on hoping it would swallow you whole. In your head, all that’s whirring around is, this isn't happening, this isn't real.

But it really is. And everyone in the room is laughing at how shocked you are. But it's George that chuckles, “I think you broke her, Matty.”

And he certainly has. The next thing you do is peek through your fingers to see she is still very much there now standing beside Matty, both of them grinning at you. But you tell the curly haired brunette, “You can’t just present Taylor Swift to me and expect me to be alright.”

Matty just laughs loudly before gesturing for you to, “Come here.”

And you do as you’re told. More adrenaline pumping through your system right now than you think the whole of last night.

Your hands are shaking a little, but nothing you clenching your fists can’t hide when you stop in front of Taylor and smile a shy, “Hi.”

Her grin is still bright, clearly used to absurd reactions like what you’ve just done. Her american accent rings out in her, “Hi.” and she smiles like you’ve not just made a massive tit of yourself.

“Y/N, Taylor.” Matty introduces you with a big grin looking from you to the singer, but then he goes on to say, “Taylor, this is Y/N, my…” But you watch his smile falter and he hesitates. A beat passes before he ends up saying, “Girlfriend.”

Hearing that should fill you with an insane amount of joy and happiness. But from the pause he did, it felt like it was almost bitter and he was reluctant to say the word out loud.

You’re aware that you havent talked about anything and that’s more than likely why he hesitated because you don’t just introduce someone to Taylor Swift as a fuck buddy. But that hesitation you saw brings back every single doubt that Amelia filled your mind with.

Swallowing that pill, you give your attention back to the popstar, not wanting a moment like this to be ruined at all by any relationship. You’re meeting Taylor fucking Swift, the last thing you need is to be worrying over a man.

You’re about to splurt out everything under the sun about how you’ve loved her music since you discovered her, and that she soundtracked your life before The 1975 took over. But you don’t get a chance to, instead you’re left shocked to your core.

“I love your dates, they are so damn funny.” Taylor grins, and you can see she genuinely means it.

This has you entirely gobsmacked though. You deadpan, “You know who I am?”

“Yes, of course I do.” Taylor nods with a toothy grin now, “I’ve seen so many of yours and Amelia’s dates, not to mention the golden globes last night, hello. You were amazing.”

You fully gasp, beyond yourself about being in her presence and her knowing who you are on top of that, “I can’t believe you know who I am.” You’re in complete disbelief, turning to glare at Matty for a second before your gaze is back on Taylor as if you looked away from her for too long, she’d disappear. “I’ve been listening to your music since I was sixteen, and you know who I am! What fucking world am I living in?”

Taylor’s eyebrows raise and her face shows amusement like this is the funniest thing she’s seen all day so you recoil into yourself with the feeling of your cheeks heating up, “Sorry, I'm so embarrassing,” You scorn yourself catching just how over the top your reaction must be before explaining, “The last however many days feel like a fever dream.”

She clicks her tongue, waving your apology off, “Don’t apologise, you’re fine.”

So in an attempt of making less of a fool of yourself, you try your hardest to get into your Date character when you say, “Anyway, when’s 1989 Taylor’s Verison?”

The shriek of laughter that leaves Taylor’s red lips has you feeling fuzzy inside. The next few minutes you’re just going on and on about her music and in return you get some random details and stories from her that you’d never think of finding out in your life.

Taylor had just asked you which songs you’d say are a must on the set list, and after the long response you gave her, you add, “You know I was so ready to plan a trip over to the States so I could go to your tour but Ticketmaster absolutely fucked me over and I’m still on the wait list.”

“Oh yeah, sorry, that was a horrible mess.” She cringes to herself and you feel so bad when she continues with a sorrowful tone in her voice, “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Of course! But you’re the Taylor Swift, it was to be expected.” You reply, matter-of-factly because you had been expecting it to be a hassle but not that much of a mess.

“Awh you’re too kind.” Taylor coos at you and reaches her hand out to give your forearm a soft squeeze before her hand comes back to her side and she sighs in forlorn, “I mean, I get that but also this new system… I really thought it would be so helpful to avoid scammers but it didn’t and on top of it all, it just made it so much worse didn’t it?”

“It really did.” You say honestly, with a soft pout. “And here I thought getting my Harry tickets had been hell enough.”

The pop star gives you a sad smile hearing that but she backtracks to what you said first, “So you still haven’t got tickets?”

You shake your head, “Unfortunately not.”

Being the absolute best, Taylor grins brightly at you and offers, “Well you’re so welcome to come over whenever you want once the tour starts.”

“Are you serious?” You can’t help your hand flying over your mouth in shock.

Taylor finds your reactions so adorable, she giggles before agreeing, “Absolutely! You can come with Matty, I’m sure he’d be down to go. Right?”

Up until that moment, Matty had stood watching you two interact and melting over how ecstatic you were to have one of your favourite artists in front of you. You were practically gleaming with happiness and that made him feel elated.

You had fully forgotten he was there, completely taken by the situation you were in and when you turned to see him as he said, “‘Course. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” with a wink aimed at Taylor, you felt your stomach flip inside you.

You scorn yourself mentally, feeling so stupid to subconsciously react that way but Taylor playfully adds, “Plus, there’s nothing better than crashing one of your friend’s gigs is there?” with a smirk took you back to the moment you were in.

The three of you laugh, you know she’s clearly referring to herself and what she’s doing there but then Matty corrects her by saying she wasn’t crashing the gig, but making it even better, earning giggles from Taylor and a sweet thank you.  

“So I’ll expect you sometime later this year.” Taylor says, looking at you expectantly.

And despite not knowing if attending with Matty would even be possible in the future, you still give her the biggest smile and the most heartfelt, “Thank you for that.”

“My pleasure, Y/N.” The blonde says and it feels like the end of the conversation so you turn to Matty in slight panic and he saves you by starting another conversation up.

Though this time, it feels more like they’re talking with each other and you’re just merely a spectator. Laughing when they laugh is all you get in, and watching them avidly exchange words has your insecurities rising back up. You thought your imposter syndrome couldn’t get any higher than it did last night but it certainly feels just as prominent again now.

In your head, they start to make sense the more minutes pass. They get each other in so many ways. They make music, they get what it’s like growing up famous, the aches of not having privacy, the torturous cycle of record, drop an album and tour, and repeat.

And as they go on and on, you find yourself comparing your life to Taylor’s and how you’ll never truly be able to understand what it’s like for him. You’re new to all of this in general, and you already feel imposter syndrome at all the events you're invited to, but this makes you feel like a fish out of water. Your mind jumps to the ultimate conclusion that Matty would be much better off with someone like her. Someone on his level, someone in his league.

You’re silently suffering every second that goes by and it gets harder to laugh at Matty’s jokes with the growing knot in your throat. So, trying your hardest to sound normal, you excuse yourself to go get yourself a drink and you barely wait for their responses when you’re off.

Water is what you stick to, not wanting to add alcohol into the whirlwind of emotions you’re currently feeling just in case it would worsen it up. And you definitely didn’t need that when it’s your supposed official first outing as Matty’s girlfriend.

You down a full cup of cold water like you’d been stuck in the desert for a whole week and you’re pouring yourself another one when you feel a pair of arms wrapping around your waist from behind. Those familiar curls come to tickle your skin when Matty hides his face in your neck and presses kisses to your skin there.

A smile breaks on your face slowly, allowing yourself to enjoy the moment but then you raise your head back up, hold your water filled cup, and you catch a glimpse of Ross talking to Taylor this time, people orbiting around subtly waiting for their turn to get a minute of the pop star’s attention and your insecurities can’t be held back any longer.

“Girlfriend?” You ask Matty, and the word leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, like you’re waiting for him to inevitably try to softly take it back.

He giggles, loving hearing that word tied to you, and he pecks your neck once more before nonchalantly replying, “Yeah, well, If you want to be?” He only words it like that just so you don’t feel suffocated if it’s not what you want, but god does he want to call you that every chance he gets from now on.

The fluttery feeling it gives him disappears completely when you let your voice drop almost entirely and he can barely hear you when you mumble, “I think it’s more do you want to settle for me?”

“Woah,” Matty’s grip on you loosens immediately and he moves to the side to see your face. And when he sees that you’re deadly serious he grabs your hand and instructs, “Come here.”

The curly haired man pulls you in the direction of the hallway, out of the big green room and into the next room which is also theirs but has only a few members of their crew chatting together and writing some stuff down.

Matty knocks on the halfway open door and asks, “Can we have the room please?” his worry entirely written on his face so everyone nods eagerly and they quickly get their things to leave. “Thanks.”

As you’re both waiting for people to clear the room, you can feel his thumb stroking the back of your hand as he holds it and you wish that helped everything you were currently feeling. But it doesn’t. It just makes you think that you’re about to lose it, lose this, and that after this conversation you probably won’t ever experience it again.

The second the last person is out and they’ve closed the door behind them, Matty steps around you to face you and grabs your hands, “What do you mean ‘settle’ for you? Do you really think being with you is settling?”

He hopes that his touch is enough to help you feel better but it’s clear this is much more than a small concern when you shrug and admit, “Yeah. To be entirely honest, yeah, because you could do so much better.”

His jaw drops slightly, his heart sinking to the pits of his stomach and his hold becomes stronger as he almost begs for you to be joking, “Please, please tell me you’re winding me up because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

The knot in your throat tightens and you know if you even try to open your mouth, all that will come up is a stupid cry so you stay silent, letting your eyes drop from his in embarrassment. You feel even worse when he dips his head, trying to get you to look at him and his voice goes quiet when he asks, “Do you not want this?”

His words were laced with such sorrow that it kicks you in the gut and makes you look up, shaking your head eagerly to deny that, “I- no, I do,” You clear up the quickest you can but you think it’s best if you just say your thoughts aloud so you let your insecurities fall from your lips, “But you could be with someone like Ta-”

“Don’t say that.” Matty stops you hastily. He pulls you in by your hands, letting them drop so his hold is now on your waist and he stares right into your eyes to tell you, “Don’t compare yourself to other people when we’re talking about us.”

You’re about to tell him that you can’t help yourself, not when even your best friend can see it being possible, but he beats you to it as he reassures you further, “I want to be with you, okay? I’m the one massively punching here and I can’t believe you think that being with you is anywhere near settling because it’s not.”

Your brows furrow and the corners of your lips drop when you fight his argument with a sad tone in your voice, “You are not the one punching.”

But Matty won’t let that thought continue to be a thing inside your mind because it couldn't be further from the truth, “I am.” He reassures you again and brings one of his hands up to cup your jaw.

“Baby, you’re breaking my heart.” His eyes are looking straight into yours, begging for you to drop all of it, for you to stop believing yourself and start abiding by what he’s telling you to be the truth.

It’s hard though, when all that you can think of is him regretting his decision of ever having something with you because he realises he could have anyone he could’ve ever wanted. You don’t want to be a waste of time for him.

There’s no way you could embarrass yourself any further now so you let your thoughts freely fall out of your mouth, “I just don’t want you to feel like you've wasted your time ever being with me when you could have someone so much better.”

You can barely get the last word out before a sob rips through you and all he can think of doing is crush you into a hug, because his words don’t seem to be helping at all. His heart breaks feeling you shake in his arms, the collar of his shirt getting wet from your tears and they burn his skin like cigarettes being put out on him.

Matty just lets you cry it out, dropping kisses on top of your head as you do, rubbing one of his hands up and down your back and telling you that, “You’re fine.”

There’s a small moment of clarity when you realise just what you’re doing and you pull back to aggressively wipe your tears as you curse under your breath, “For fucks sake, I’m sick of crying. Jet lag is doing me so dirty.”

Something clicks when you say that, his hands slowly going down your sides until they settle on your hips again and, pouting, he asks you for confirmation, “This is why you were upset when you were away too, isn’t it?”

But your quick, “No.” is not convincing to him, despite it being the truth so he says, “Baby.” sternly under his breath because he just wants you to continue being open with him, so you can work it out.

And you give him just that, sighing and retelling what had happened, “Amelia said something and it just got to me because I’d been awake like thirty hours. I didn’t-,” You cut your own rambling before your voice breaks again and inhale deeply to continue, “I didn’t want to think about what this was when I was meant to be hosting the fucking Golden Globes, but then you hesitated before and it brought it all back.”

The way your chest heaves as you’re trying to swallow a sob has Matty holding back from becoming visibly upset himself, forcing himself not to tear up because he wants to remain calm for you.

Softly, he starts explaining just what happened before, “I only hesitated because I don’t know if that’s what you even wanted.” He stops, trying to think of a better way to put it because he didn’t want to sound like an arsehole, “I know I asked you at that party and I was serious about it but I didn’t know if you remembered because we hadn’t talked about it since. I didn’t know whether you just wanted to fuck for a while and then leave it as friends.”

Your chin wobbles after hearing him and all you can think of doing is admitting, “I don’t want to be your friend.”

Taking the chance to make a joke so he lightens up your mood, he flashes you a sad smile as he finishes the lyric, “You want me to kiss your neck?”

And thankfully that has you snorting, “You’re a dickhead.” You tell him, fighting a smile entirely a product of amusement, and recoil into yourself when you proceed to admit, “But yeah I do.”

He lets you breathe, seeing you start to calm down. Your incessant tears and heart wrenching sobs are exchanged for bloodshot eyes and sniffling, and it’s when he feels you relax under his touch that he pleads, “Can we make this official then please?”

“You actually want that?” You know you’re being quite annoying with your lack of confidence but after having had all of those thoughts spinning around your head for such a long time, you feel like you need every bit of reassurance you can get.

His wholehearted faith in himself when he nods and says, “More than anything.” make you want to cry all over again, and the feeling only gets stronger when he continues on praising you, “I’ve told you I’m obsessed with you. I don’t wanna let you go. Struggled for the last few days baby, it’s been awful.”

You can’t help your eyes filling up with tears again, seeing Matty all blurry in front of you through them, your pout reappearing on your face.

Matty swears seeing you upset is one of the worst aches he’s felt, so he almost begs you to reply with a yes when he says, “Those better be happy tears.”

“They are.” You nod, pursing your lips when a few stubborn tears fall down your cheeks, and you repeat, “They are.” just to assure him you’re feeling fine now, “Sorry you know when you sometimes just need a cry.”

That he truly understands, but god does it hurt watching you get so upset over something you really shouldn’t. And he knows it’s all in your head, so there isn’t anything else he’d rather do than help you overcome moments like it.

“Come here.” Matty pulls you in again, his arms around your waist and yours snaking around his middle. He feels you nuzzling into his neck, completely melting in his embrace, and it feels so fucking nice to have you like this again.

The distance these few days have brought between you has been enough for him to know for certain that he wants something with you, so he can’t let more time go by without asking again, “So you’ll be my girlfriend?”

Perhaps is rather fucked up of your brain to bring on more obstacles that you can think of but you try to lighten it up by turning your brand new aching thought into a bit of a joke, so you lean back and look him in the eye before you carefully ask, “You won't get upset about me having to flirt with people for a living?”

Yet, Matty is so sure in his answer that he doesn’t even take another second to say, “Nope. Can talk about it more later if you want. I know it’s early on but you know when you can feel something is right? And I don’t want to waste any time with you, I’m all in. I really want to see where this could go.”

You feel every atom in your body melt at his words, a gleam in his eyes as he takes in every inch of your face and his heart starts beating faster in his chest when you smile brightly at him and give him a hint of a nod, “I want that too.”

Right then, he knows deep down that it’s a moment he’d live to remember. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but he hopes that the feelings bottled up inside the both of you meant that this between you would go on for far longer than the two of you could ever expect.

“Then it's settled, girlfriend.” That smirk you love so much makes an appearance and it somehow settles it all for you.

Now feeling more playful, you can’t pass on the opportunity to egg him on so you try your luck, “If I'm your girlfriend can you do something for me?”

His curiosity has him nodding almost instantly, “‘Course.”

But you watch him clearly deflate and give you a sarcastic roll of his eyes when your petition is for him to, “Play Antichrist.”

Narrowing his eyes at you, he leans in until you feel his lips brushing yours and he teases you by saying, “Some things not even girlfriends get the privilege of.”

“Then please put out the ubiquitass version of The 1975. Please.” You bargain this time, pulling back slightly so he doesn’t have the chance to avoid answering by sealing your lips together.

You’re actually surprised when he tilts his head to the side and smiles widely at you, “We might have another version of Being Funny somewhere.” He trails off mysteriously and your jaw drops.

“Is it coming soon? Are you actually putting it out? Are there more songs?” Your questions spill past your lips in a rush, eyes wide in intrigue.

But Matty leans into you and his lips brush against yours again when he lowers his voice to say, “I can’t say.” His eyes dropping from yours to look down at your lips, lets you know he’s about to kiss you so you don’t have the chance to dig for more information.

Not giving in, you lean backwards ever so slightly, creating a bit of distance between you before you just state, “Rude.”

And he fights that back by reminding you, “I just got you a date with Taylor Swift.”

Your eyes go wide when you remember that has happened only a few minutes before and you giggle in disbelief, words failing you entirely then.

So Matty softly chuckles at you and wraps his right arm around your waist to pull you impossibly close to him and he mutters, “Come here.” before cupping your jaw and pressing his lips on yours.

His hold on you is tight yet delicate, strong enough for you to know that he wants you as close as he can have you and his mouth moving on yours so passionately, you’re willing to give up oxygen entirely and forever if it meant feeling the way you do when he kisses you like this.

You reciprocate, arms going around his shoulders and one of your hands going up his neck until your fingers tangle in the hair at the nape of it. Pulling on it, he moans softly and you happily swallow that sound.

Both of you smile so hard into the kiss then, that it’s fully broken and, breathlessly, he pulls back just enough to watch your face and use his words to say what he was trying to express with that kiss, “I’m obsessed with you baby. You’re not allowed to forget.”

Entirely driven by your emotional state, your brows furrow again and you’re starting to pout when he lets a breathy laugh out that hits your lips and he reminds you, “No more crying.”

Using your nails to scratch lightly at his scalp where your fingers are, you let your pout turn into an attempt of a playful smile, “Well you better not do half your set then because I will be crying in the pit.”

The thought of you being upset again, even if it just was because of his music, has Matty needing to comfort you and to tell you how much he means it when he says he adores you, but he knows that if he keeps talking, you’ll cry again so his solution is to kiss you one more time.

His lips are plush against yours, moving so sweetly and patiently with yours like he’s just signed a lifetime away to dedicate merely to kissing you. Like he now has all the time in the world to feel you like this so he won’t rush it anymore, he’s now entirely focused on enjoying every second he gets you this way.

His fingers on your waist clutch you tighter, his fingers pressing into your skin make for a new familiarity brewing that makes you sigh in content into the kiss. Your lips open and he takes the silent invitation for his tongue to come into your mouth.

Humming in bliss, you both take your time taking each other in, breathing heavily through your noses and willing this to last as long as you can until there’s a moment when you remember everything that has happened these past few days and you have to break the kiss since you start feeling emotional again.

You’re not going to cry anymore or at least that’s what you’re trying not to do, closing your eyes for a fair few seconds with your forehead pressed to his and noses bumping in such proximity.

You sigh but smile, opening your eyes to look into his and whispering right against his lips, “I’m obsessed with you too.”

His nose rubs against yours in a eskimo kiss and you see the corners of his eyes wrinkling as he smiles and whispers back, “Are you okay?”

You nod, grinning to yourself when you feel his unruly curls brushing your forehead, tickling you in a way you’re growing to love, “Yeah, I think I just need a super long sleep to get me back in working order.”

Matty playfully snorts and rolls his eyes, “Absolute Grandma.” and he has you back to giggling with him how he’s used to.

“Know me so well.” You laugh, nodding in confirmation.

The singer kisses you once more before he pulls you into another big hug, and it lasts a long time. You only now realise how just how much you need it, everything feels like it did before, like all is at peace when you’re being held against him so tight.

Your curly haired brunette can’t stop himself from reiterating, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” You hum, closing your eyes and squeezing him that bit tighter.

You just spend a solid few minutes hugging each other and gently talking, Matty making sure to rub up and down your back and do anything to make you that little bit less emotional. He can’t believe his lucky stars though.

You’re his girlfriend. Even when he thinks about you officially having that title a smile comes to his lips. He’s so enamoured by you, he’s so happy you even want to be with him in the first place, he can’t wait to let himself get a little more romantic with you.

Another minute passes by before your little conversation is interrupted by a knock on the door followed by someone calling, “Matty?”

“Give us a minute.” Matty calls back, not wanting this moment with you to end just yet.

But unfortunately the singer hears his guitar tech inform him, “Your Mum’s here mate, she’s currently got Taylor Swift in about five pictures.”

Hearing that makes you giggle in his arms, picturing it with ease and you can practically feel Matty cringing at the thought. But he doesn’t break your moment, he just shouts back, “Be there in a sec.”

You feel a kiss on the top of your head and he releases a content sigh as he rubs up and down your back. And you give him another tight squeeze before you release your hold on him and pull back a little so you can look up at him.

He softly smiles at you, seeing that your eyes are still a little puffy from you getting upset. But you just look so damn cute to him. Looking all smiley with his merch on and you’re in his arms and you’re his girlfriend. He’s never been so happy.

“Are you okay?” Matty asks as he cups your face again, and he smiles when you lean into his palm a little as he gently strokes your cheek, “Do you wanna wait here for a minute?”

The singer is in no rush to go and see his Mum. Especially now because he’s nervous to introduce you to her. Not because you wouldn’t like each other but because he knows his Mum is very full on.

“No, it’s okay.” You shake your head, you’re feeling very composed again now thankfully. But you do need to ask, “Do I look like I’ve been crying?”

“A little bit, yeah.” Matty tells you honestly as he moves a loose strand of hair out of your face.

You pout and sigh, “Shit.”

He’s softly smiling at you though and he laughs at you scorning yourself before he shushes you when he continues, “Still very pretty though, so don’t worry.”

Your tip twitches at that and it takes a lot in you not to call him out on it and deny his compliment. Instead, you bite your tongue and appreciate what he’s said with a smile, but you do chuckle anxiously, “Your Mum’s going to think I’m a headcase.”

“My Mum already loves you.” Matty assures you.

Because the amount of times after your date first aired that he heard Denise say things like, ‘You should ask her out properly Matt… Someone like that would be good for you... You need to put yourself out there again and a girl like her would be lovely.’

Not to mention when you released the ‘Spicy Edition’ of your date a few weeks later, Matty got a FaceTime from her then quite seriously demanding, ‘You need to get a grip and hurry up and ask that chicken shop date girl out before someone else finds out how wonderful she is… I just replied to her story saying how amazing she looked at those GQ Awards and bless her, she replied saying ‘Just trying to look as good as you do on Loose Women’... I love her Matt. Ask her out before you come round for dinner one day and she's already sat at our table.’

Little did Denise know that he already had full intentions to go on another date with you. But her incessant pestering just meant that he wanted to keep you out of her mind so she didn’t put you off.

You chuckle but shake your head, “You’re too nice.”

“Just telling you the truth.” Matty assures you, “She’s going to be over the moon.”

That makes your heart swell and you can only hope she does like you. You’ve looked up to her for years, even before you knew about Matty.

“Lets not keep the UK’s Kris Jenner waiting.” You grin and slip your hand into his so you can encourage him to find his Mum and say hello.

Matty kisses you once more before you both leave the room and you can’t help but notice the stark contrast to how you felt entering the room to now leaving it. You can’t believe you’re somebody’s girlfriend again, Matty’s especially. If you think about it for too long though, you’ll get too emotional again so you try not to think about just how lucky you are just yet. You’ve got inlaws to meet.

You both hear her before you see her, she was asking the guy who must have been the one to knock on the door a little earlier asking, “You said he was this way?... Lincoln, come on, he’s this way. Let's go say hello to my son who can’t be bothered to greet me.”

Matty makes you chuckle when he groans about his Mum, “I don’t know how he puts up with her.”

“Leave her alone.” You shake your head, knowing he’s just being dramatic over it, more than likely because he’s nervous to introduce you.

But Matty persists, “You’ll be begging her to do that to you after tonight.”

You’re about to tell him that you really won’t when Denise comes around the corner and all of you stop to greet each other. It seems the Loose Woman hasn’t seen you just yet because she just reaches out to her son to embrace him, “Oh Matty, there you are.”

“Hiya Mum.” Matty says, and you let his hand slip from yours so he can return her big hug.

“Hi darling,” Denise gives her son a squeeze but when she sees from over his shoulder that you are just behind him, her eyes go wide and she exclaims, “Oh, it's you!” and Matty is let free from the hug and all of her attention moves to you as she excitedly grins, “You’re his chicken nugget date girl!”

This makes you laugh instantly, loving that she remembers you from your date with her son, but the mis-titling of it is hilarious. Gosh, you already love Denise Welsh so much, and you have a feeling once you get to know her, you’ll love her even more.

“How many times have I told you that she has a name and it’s Y/N?” Matty scolds her, shaking his head, but you’ve taken no offence to it at all.

She can call you Matty’s chicken nugget girl for the rest of time and you’d be happy with it. Not to mention, forever entertained.

“Sorry pet, I didn’t mean to be rude.” She smiles and she offers you a hug which of course you accept.

“It’s okay.” You assure her, giving her a squeeze before taking a step back and Matty slips his arm around you.

“Mum,” Matty says as he rubs his hand up and down your side comfortingly, and he looks at you as he introduces you properly, “This is Y/N, my girlfriend.”

Matty looks so proud to say it, and to say it confidently. He wishes he would have said it confidently earlier and avoided your upset but it’s a conversation that needed to happen and he has no doubt he’d be talking to Taylor with you again. He will be sure to state it louder and prouder then.

“Oh thank god you asked her out.” Relief can be heard in the actress’ voice and you’re listening to her as she starts to say, “I’ve been going on at him since your date telling him to-”

But then she clearly looks at you a little bit closer and she interrupts herself, wanting to make sure you’re alright, “Oh love, are you okay? Why’d you look all upset?”

You’re about to tell her about your travels and your lack of sleep dramatically affecting how you regulate your emotions, but Denise assumes before you can tell her.

She looks at her son, almost giving him a death glare as she accuses, “What have you said Matthew?” and before either you can defend him or him himself, she looks to you and asks, “Has he upset you being all gobby?”

“Me?” Matty asks, wide eyed and offended, “Woman, you’re the gobshite of the family, I’m not the Loose Woman.”

At that Denise rolls her eyes scorningly before her expression softens and she looks back at you full of concern. But you make a point to assure her and get Matty out of the doghouse.

“No, nothing, he’s fine,” You promise her, smiling as you say, “I’m just really jet lagged and it’s making me unusually emotional.”

Matty raises his eyebrows, “See, eat your words now Mum.”

“Shut up Matthew.” Denise scolds him, waving him off before looking at you, still concerned and repeats herself, “Are you sure you’re okay, pet?”

“Yeah, my head’s just everywhere tonight.” You nod, giving her a smile, “I promise, I’m really happy.”

Matty pulls you into his side a little more at that and you let yourself indulge in it and lean in. And you can’t help your smile getting bigger when you feel him kiss the top of your head again, and his actions have his Mum’s heart aching seeing her son so happy again.

“Awe look at you both, such a gorgeous couple.” She coos, grinning at the scene in front of her, but when your smile gets bigger she can't help but add looking straight at you, “And you’re really pretty.”

“God, don’t make me cry again.” You say, feeling your eyes well up again, and you fan your eyes with the one that isn’t wrapped around your boyfriend.

Denise steps forward to gently grab your hand, “No, hunny.”

“Sorry,” You smile, blinking to try and make the tears dissipate, “A lack of sleep really doesn’t agree with me.”

“Don’t we know it.” Matty grins.

You fake a glare and nudge him, “Shut up you.” but this has Denise in stitches.

“Oh, you’re going to fit in the family so well.” The actress grins, and she can tell just from the small interactions she’s seen between you that you really mean a lot to him and that he really likes you. She’s so happy he’s made the effort with you, she knows how badly he needs someone like you in his life, so she grins, “Someone to keep him in check.”

After chatting a little more, you get introduced to her husband Lincoln and his little brother Louis and you’re pleased that they all seem to like you. All of you end up back in the green room where you find new but familiar faces. And you’re grinning once more when you watch Denise hug Flo before both you and Matty get your turn with her.

Matty gets to her first though and grins, “Heya Wheels.”

She smiles back at him, greeting him with a tight hug, “Hey Curly, where’s Y/N/N?”

Her question reaches your ears just as you reach her side and you greet her with an enthusiastic, “Hi Flo.”

She turns around to hug you this time but he smile entirely falls when she sees you face and before you could even open your arms to embrace her, she’s whipping her head back to face Matty and almost hisses through her teeth when she says, “What the fuck have you done?”

“I’ve not done anything.” Your boyfriend raises his hands up in sign of innocence but Flo doesn’t buy it one bit.

“Has he done something to make you upset?” She grabs your hands as she asks with a frown on her face.

You can’t help but giggle, heart warming at her concern for your state but you shake your head and smile at her to settle down her worries, “No no, I'm just really jetlagged and I keep crying. I promise everythings fine.”

You watch as her face softens and her hand rests on her chest while she lets out a long exhale, “Oh thank god,” she starts, turning back to Matty with an accusing finger pointing at him, “Because I was gonna fight you, making the most gorgeous woman in the world cry. You’re lucky I didn't instantly slap you.”

You pout at her words, not accepting the compliment at all, “You’re too kind.”

But she doesn’t allow you to do that, she reiterates her point by saying, “No, just telling the truth, gorgeous.” and winking at you, which has you giggling as your cheeks heat up.

“Florence Turner, you can’t flirt with George and my girlfriend, pick one.” Matty scoffs, but then changes his words for a better scolding, “Better yet, pick your husband and baby daddy.”

Never has Flo been happier than to hear that the curly haired brunette has finally secured his girl. If she wasn’t in the mood to tease, she would be jumping up and down congratulating them.

“Baby daddy’s back on tour.” Flo smirks before wrapping her arm around your waist and telling Matty, “So I'm going to do more than just flirt with your girlfriend, don't you worry.”

You feel yourself get flustered by that sentence alone, but when she brings her other hand up to shield her lips from Matty as she whispers into your ear, you feel your mouth go dry. All Matty can do is watch as his best friend whispers something that makes you look away from him and start getting more flustered.

Flo drops her hand and moves back a little, enough to look at you knowingly and ask loud enough for Matty to hear this time, “How about it?”

“Sounds like fun.” You just about manage to force yourself to say and your lack of composure has Flo smirking.

She looks from you to Matty, and your boyfriend’s face being concerned yet desperate to know what was said makes it all the more rewarding.

Flo makes her exit then, turning around in the direction of her cousin to steal baby Hann’s attention for a bit, giving you two a little wave, accompanied by a mischievous grin on her face.

Taking your hand again, Matty asks, “What was that then?”

And despite how much what Flo told you has left you speechless, you try your best to change your expression for a taunting smirk and tut at your boyfriend, “That’s for me and Mrs Turner to know.”

“I’ll tell Alex.” Matty threatens loosely, with his eyebrows raising and eyes going wide as if he was entirely serious.

So you fully dare him to do it, intentionally making it seem like something else was said, “Tell him, I think he’d enjoy what she has planned.”

That bluff leaves him speechless and of course because he cannot live with being left with some intrigue, he’s trying to get it out of you the whole time until he and the lads are called up to go on stage.

At this point you get told to stick with Flo and you’re both given O2 wristbands and you both follow Jamie down to the floor where you see that glorious bat signal that reads ‘The 1975’. It makes you emotional, it hitting you again just how long you’ve waited to see this show, and before you even get to the sound desk where Flo is going to be staying, you tell her that you’re just going to head into the pit.

She offers to join you but you don’t think it would be wise for her in a place where all of the fans in here will know who she is, especially when she’s also carrying precious cargo. So after her telling you to meet you back at the desk before the last song ends, you disappear off into the sea of people.

You’re pathetically emotional throughout the whole set, mostly the first half of it though. You were tearing up as Matty started playing the piano and when each of the boys walked out on stage, as if you’re not shagging the man singing and have been with all of them for hours.

But suddenly it’s not anyone you know personally up on stage anymore. It's your favourite band, your boys, The 1975. And you get lost in the music.

It’s all a little much for you. Sincerity Is Scary, Fallingforyou, and all of the slower songs off the new album have you in tears. And when they reach About You and Carly comes out you’re absolutely done for. You’re crying the whole way through and your throat hurts with the way you shout Carly's lines back at her.

But then Taylor comes out and you lose it again even though you were half expecting the intrusion with the way they were talking earlier. Hearing Anti-Hero’s live debut was amazing and hearing her sing The City, which is still one of your favourites, has you crying again.

You dance and cry your way through the At Their Very Best section of the show, again losing your composure during Robbers. Although, Matty does make you laugh when he says, “I’m not kissing anyone in front of Taylor Swift. In front of the queen? Have some respect.”

He chuckles to himself after that, and he adds after a beat, “And I've got myself a missus remember? No more kisses for you lot.”

Everyone starts screaming hearing that, and it has you chuckling to yourself. Watching Matty you see him looking at the people near the barrier and he moves back to the microphone to correct them, “No, you're not about to get The Birthday Party.”

There’s a mumble of defeated chatter then, until Matty grins and tells the room of 20,000 people, “I’m just getting laid.”

Screams fill the room, but you just elect to die from the embarrassment despite only a handful knowing it's you. Your cheeks go stupidly hot and you genuinely hide into your hands for a second silently screaming, not believing he said that.

He moves on, telling everyone, “Now back to something a little more depressing.” and Somebody Else is queued in.

The rest of the set seems to fly by after that, and before you know it Give Yourself A Try is about to finish and you’re watching in awe as the band waves to everyone who came to see them and it hits you square in the chest when you see just how happy Matty is as he’s waving to everyone.

When they turn off the power at the lamppost and the room erupts once more, you get lost in the sea of people. You just give yourself a second in your spot, taking everything in, thrilled to bits with the show and it was everything you wanted and more.

Turns out this was a bad thing to do, because you get a few people recognising you, which turns into a lot of people recognising you. You don’t mind taking pictures or saying hello to anyone but after the 25th one, you don't really see a way out of your predicament.

You should have gone back to the sound desk a song early like Flo said. But no, you got caught up in the moment seeing your favourite band. You’re in a lot more videos and selfies over the next few minutes until thankfully a security guard recognises you and comes over to help and the crowd around you starts dissipating, finally leaving the floor.

The room is practically empty when you look around it now, most of the people have already vacated and the sound desk is empty and you’re a little bit stuck for what to do until you’re escorted by that steward to the thankfully another security guard that you recognise and you ask him to radio Mark or someone who can confirm who you are.

When you finally get back to the green room, the room is buzzing, and it’s Flo who finds you and hugs you first apologising that she left the room without you as she couldn’t spot you. Denise then gets to you and you chat about how good the show was until your eyes land on a freshly showered Matty entering the room again.

He’s in joggers and his chicken shop date hoodie now and he looks so adorable you could cry again. But it’s just when his lips find yours again and his arms find home around your waist, you feel so overwhelmed by everything you just wish you could escape from everyone and it be just the two of you again.

After telling him how proud you are of him and how amazing the set was, he can clearly see you’ve been crying and asks how you are. Once he’s certain you’re alright you end up congratulating the other boys and you have another longer chat with Taylor.

She’s certainly everything you hoped for and more. She promises you a chicken shop date and tickets to the eras tour and you think January 12th 2023 might just be the best day of your life.

The excitement to watch the gig tonight had clearly been all that was fueling you so a little later when Ross asks Matty if you and him are coming to the after party, you decline straight away.

You tell your boyfriend that you’ll be alright going back home alone because you are dying to shower and get in bed, but Matty refuses to leave your side so he tells Ross he’s skipping tonight and that you two will be seeing him tomorrow.

The bassist smirks when that happens, biting his tongue not to call Matty a simp because it was certainly weird of him to skip an after gig party.

You make sure to hug everyone goodbye, feeling so incredibly happy to be in the presence of all these people yet so sad to see the day ending already. For a second you consider if you could go a bit further, maybe a couple hours at the after party but when you’re hugging Carly goodbye and your eyes struggle to stay open, you know you can’t.

Going home with Matty was making you giddy though. You’re buzzing inside even though your eyes are half lidded and your steps are clumsy. Matty has his fingers intertwined with yours and he guides you with giggles through the venue and out to get into one of the many private cars Jamie had organised.

It’s no surprise you fall asleep with your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder on the drive back to what you realise it’s his house when he softly wakes you. When he unlocks his door and lets you go in first, you smile brightly to yourself at the memories that come when you see his concrete walls.

“Is it weird I’ve missed your concrete bunker?” You ask with a loopy tone in your voice, eliciting a string of giggles out of him that make your heart swell in your chest.

Thankfully, you had left a copious amount of clothes at his place before you left for LA because he had gone a bit overboard about how much clothes you needed to take back to his during that first week of the month.

So you shower as quickly as you can, already dreaming of resting your head in the plush pillows and letting your eyes close, and once you get out, he watches as you languidly try your best to quickly get in one of his big tops and dry your hair before finally getting in bed.

“I missed you so much baby.” Matty whispers into your neck as he kisses your skin softly and pulls you closer to him.

You hum in utter bliss, feeling so complete being cuddled into him and hearing him reiterate that he missed you makes your insides flip.

“I missed you too.” You reply yet again but not any less honestly.

But you’re drifting off rapidly so you don’t get to hear what he says next which is, “I adore you.” and before you fully let yourself fall into slumber, you reply with a mumble of gibberish that has him giggling before he falls silent and just watches you drift away in well needed rest.

~*~*~*~

Matty allows himself to sleep in the next morning, knowing he doesn’t have anywhere to attend to until past noon so he can spend the whole morning clutching you and getting the sleep you two so desperately need.

But that backfires when you’re both woken up to Matty’s phone going off incessantly and when he groggily answers, he curses under his breath and apologises quickly, promising he’ll be there as soon as he can and when you reach out for your phone, you see the time and it all makes sense.

It’s only about an hour and a half until soundcheck and you are still in bed.

Despite his freshly made promise, Matty doesn’t make the effort to actually get out of bed, instead he lets his phone drop on his night table and scoots closer to you, nuzzling his face in the back of your neck and kissing every inch of your skin there.

“Baby, we need to go.” You remind him as you struggle to turn around in his hold.

Matty groans into your neck, like he’s refusing to listen to you but you tangle your fingers into his curls and pull on his hair so he can see you but the reiteration of your words die in your throat when he lets out a low moan at your action.

Your jaw falls a bit at the sound and he giggles in response, dipping his head to kiss you feverishly, moaning again when you let your lips part and your tongues meet.

Before it can go further, because you can feel his hands starting to roam, you take the role of being the responsible one and break the kiss, standing up from bed and forcing him to follow suit.

The wave of incoming messages that flood Matty’s phone the more minutes go by are what rush you two getting ready for the day and after a bit over an hour and a half, because Matty forced you to have breakfast calmly with him, you’re standing right in the middle of the barricade, watching your favourite band - or better said, your boyfriend’s band - soundchecking for a second sold out show at the O2.

It’s mesmerising seeing them work their magic on stage even if it’s just a soundcheck. Them playing around and laughing aloud but also being meticulous of every little detail sounding just how they want it to, has you leaning into the barrier with your forearms and stare at them all with an incredible sense of pride.

And, of course, you’re stuck staring at every move Matty makes. From the way his fingers run up and down the neck of his guitar, to the way he nods slowly as he hears the bass and the guitar in his in-ears, how he mumbles to himself as they go along and the winks he gives you whenever he turns to look at you.

Matty is also making sure to explain at the best of his ability just how he wants the interludes to go today, because he wants a different thing to happen at this show and you’re fully invested in every direction he gives everyone and how he’s laying it all to be. You can’t wait to see it on the actual show.

You had thought it was impossible, but you find yourself growing more and more entranced by him as the day goes by and in the greenroom, where you all are now after soundcheck had finished, you realise how most of the time you’re stuck mindlessly glancing at him as he engages in conversation with the lads.

That’s until your phone vibrates with a message. One from Amelia that says, On my way to the arena! Can’t wait to see you! xx that somehow gets you nervous.

It’s not that you feel like she’s going to take this in a negative way but you fear that she sees something you can’t and it once again pops the bubble you are in.

So you’re shifting in your seat and fiddling with your fingers the whole time after that text. Matty notices and he rests his hand on your knee, tracing circles on your skin and he leans in to whisper, “Are you okay?”

You could only nod and because you know he’ll get why you feel this way, you tell him, “Amelia is on her way.”

And just like you thought he would, he gives you a sweet smile before leaving a string of  chaste pecks on your lips before he softly promises you, “It’s gonna be okay.”

You feel a bit foolish when your best friend arrives and she traps you in a tight hug as she says loudly, “Why’d you leave me early, I missed you on the plane next to me bitch!”

And when Matty chats back to that with, “Play nice, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking to Dimz.” the loud screech Amelia lets out makes you wince and laugh loudly.

Her face is priceless, a wave of surprise, disbelief and pure happiness for you as she leans back to see you in a way of silently asking for confirmation and when you nod, she screeches again and pulls you in for an even tighter embrace.

“Your Tumblr dreams came true!” Amelia yells as if that was a good way to congratulate you and you hear the room breaking out in laughter behind you.

Amelia greets everyone in the room after that and the night continues but you’re so relieved when she takes a minute to pull you aside and wholeheartedly say she’s so beyond happy for you, that it was about damn time someone wasn’t blind to how amazing you were and cheekily adding that she knows Matty is the one for you.

Emphasising heavily on ‘the one’ which she knows you get exactly what she’s playing at but you’re quickly glaring at her and hissing through your teeth at her to keep her mouth shut. Because you’re not about to get your boyfriend scared off over a fanfic you wrote years ago about him coincidentally called, ‘The One’.

When you both go back into the conversation everyone’s having, Matty making you sit on his lap and wrapping his arm around your waist, you feel so warm inside because it feels like you’re part of this little family and you truly don’t know when it was that you got so damn lucky.

And in a further rush of luck, you and Amelia get a message on the group chat you two have with your manager that intriguingly just reads, Need you two in a call with me urgently in two minutes x

You look at each other with a frown and you show the message to your boyfriend so he can loosen up his hold on you as you excuse yourself out of the room, at the same time as Amelia does.

Out of everything that you were expecting, which wasn’t much, you weren’t expecting the fucking insane proposition you got to which you both said yes instantly.

Coming back into the room ten minutes later was weirdly grounding after the fever-dream-like situation that had just happened, and it shows in both your faces just how insane that call had been.

The whole room goes silent as they see you walk in, clutching Amelia’s hands for dear life and your faces are twisted in the most amusing expression of surprise.

“What happened?” Matty asks almost desperately, Amelia and you are moving like sloths and your eyes are so wide they look about to pop out of your heads.

Amelia stutters when she tries to speak first, making everyone even more confused but then in a rush of adrenaline, you manage to interrupt her gibberish by announcing, “We’ve just been asked to host the Oscars after party for Vanity Fair.”

It doesn’t feel real you saying it, but what is real are the gasps and cheers you hear in the room. It’s only a mere second before every sense of yours is taken over by Matty running to hug you and Amelia, almost throwing the three of you on the ground in the process.

“Congratulations!” is all you hear around for the next ten minutes, everyone asking about how that had happened and it’s when you and Amelia start narrating how the call had gone that it hits you and you get a bit emotional.

But your tears are stopped when Charli comes over to crush you two in a hug and saying, “I got invited to it and was gonna say no, ‘cause like I don’t like anyone there but now that you’re going then… Might as well party together.”

Amelia squeals just at the same time as you do to the news and the three of you hug again, already fucking buzzing for what that night will be like. George being the best, brings shots to celebrate and it feels like the party has started even before the show has gone.

You hug your best friend when you get her alone for a bit and you tell her that you love her with your whole heart, leaving a loud kiss on her cheeks and squeezing her so tight in a hug she’s giggling uncontrollably.

All that you feel at the moment is like your dreams have ultimately come true and that makes you feel completely unstoppable.

So when the guys eventually go on stage, and you and Amelia run for your life to get to your seats, you’re living every second of the gig like it’s the last you’ll ever attend.

There’s a different feeling brewing inside you as the songs go and you see Matty doing his usual antics on stage, but your mind short circuits when Amelia leans in just as the band is doing their synchronised side step dance at the end of I’m In Love With You - which had melted you completely at how fucking happy Matty looked on stage - and she says, “That’s literally your boyfriend on stage.”

You understand the reference so quickly and you cackle out loud, making some people turn to look at you for laughing in that moment but you pay them no attention because you turn to your best friend and gasp shortly, “It actually is!”

Every emotion you feel during the gig is amped by a thousand percent and that’s why by the end of it, you let yourself desperately run back to the greenroom and crash Matty into a dizzying needy kiss when you find him right outside the room.

“Take it, it was a good set then?” Matty lets out a breathy laugh as he rhetorically asks, that feels warm against your parted lips when he breaks the kiss.

And you don’t even have it in your heart to be embarrassed so you nod eagerly, your fingers running through his curls and your eyes are taking every detail of his face. “As usual, baby.” You reply breathlessly, you just can’t believe your luck and it all wants to come pouring out of you so you pounce on his lips again and he responds with a soft groan and wraps his arms around your waist to hold you closer to him.

The kiss is broken early this time by your lovely best friend finally making it back, since you made the run alone a few minutes ago and left her behind, and calling you out when she sees you getting off with your boyfriend.

“Oi! There’s a kid present, you animals.”

You know she’s referring to Ross’s niece who’s inside the greenroom with everyone else, but the girl can’t see you and Matty outside so you flip Amelia off before she enters the room and she cackles as she reciprocates the action.

Matty giggles and kisses your cheek and then lets his kisses wander downwards until he’s leaving a wet kiss on your collarbone and you bite your lip to silence a soft moan.

“What’s gotten into you baby?” He asks with a smirk, but before you can answer, he adds, “Not that I don’t love it, I really fucking do. All of this. But I’m surprised, what did I do?”

Your teeth still have your bottom lip trapped so when the corners of your lips lift into a smirk, you look rather mischievous and something inside him flips. The feeling only gets stronger when you whisper, “Be my boyfriend.” and steal one last kiss out of him.

You could stay the whole night just kissing him then, but this time you’re both not missing the after party so once everyone is ready to leave, you’re walking out of the venue and getting crammed into a private car with Matty, Amelia, George, Charli, and Jamie en route to The Standard Hotel.

When you get there, you’re surprised by a little crowd of paparazzi that blind you with their intense flashes even from outside the cars, but it’s when you see those flashes that you realise that for yours and Matty’s privacy’s sake, you can’t be seen going in with him at all. Even if he does have more people in the entourage in the cars behind you, you can’t risk it.

So it’s decided at that point, The main four of them who would be expected in a car together would be getting out and you and your best friend would be looping around the block to come in with other less important people.

Matty quickly kisses and apologises before getting out but he tells you that he will wait for you just further into the reception of the building. Away from any prying eyes or camera lenses.

It takes 10 minutes waiting in the queue of cars to get back to the drop off point, and when you step out Amelia and you hold hands as thankfully less flashes go off, capturing you and your best friend. You know then that you’re going to have to leave with your best friend later as well just so the nosey bunch couldn’t ruin the novelty of your fresh relationship with Matty.

“Fucking hate them.” Your curly haired brunette mutters when he finally can wrap his arm around your waist and pull you to him when you’re all inside the lift.

You hum in agreement, “I know.” and you smile when he quickly leans in to peck your lips.

When the lift doors open and you walk into the big suite, where the music is already making the walls shake and the people inside talk louder than normal, you’re so relieved you don’t really have to hold back in there.

“We don’t have to hide here though.” You say into his ear, your arms wrapped around his neck and he looks at you with a smirk.

His eyes fall to your mouth and you tease him by running your tongue over your bottom lip, you hear him groan deeply before he’s attacking your lips hungrily, just like you wanted him to. You’re cupping his jaw, keeping him in the kiss and when you deepen it, all your inhibitions are out of the window. Your mouth opens to greet his tongue and you let out a loud moan when it presses against yours.

You’re kissing so hard, you both grow breathless rather quickly. “Baby, if you keep kissing me like that we’re not going to make it fifteen minutes in here.” Matty warns you, and it makes you giggle.

You lean up to him, letting your lips rest against his ear before you say, “Maybe that's what I’m hoping for.” and your jaw drops the tiniest bit to bite that slutty hoop of his, giving it a gentle tug before you pull away, letting your lust filled eyes linger on your curly haired brunette before you make you leave him in his place and make your way over to the bar to get yourself a drink.

Matty groans seeing you walk away from him after just doing that. You’re arse looking so good in that tight leather mini skirt you changed into before his set. No one backstage would have to bet that you were all Matty was thinking about during the consumption interlude tonight.

Little do they know he thinks about you every night he does it, and he has done for months. Ever since the first day he first let his hand slip into his boxers at the thought of you on the American tour, all he can think about is you.

Matty’s on you like a rash for the rest of the night. His hands linger on you every chance he can when someone's eyes aren’t on the two of you. His best opportunity is when you’re dancing with him, and when he turns you around and pulls you back against him, his hands are on your thighs running up and down until he lets his touch go further inside your thighs and you welcome it by pressing your hands over his and guiding him to continue.

His hot breath is on your neck, right below your ear and it makes you sway your hips even more intently so your arse is purposely rubbing on his cock, which you feel hardening the longer you dance.

It gets to a point his breathing grows erratic, from how hard he is and how badly he just wants to take you in the middle of the room if you wanted it, so his right hand comes up to wrap around your neck and turn your face towards him so he can seal the moment with a feverish kiss.

Your lips clashing as you continue to grind on him make you both go insane and you smile so hard to yourself when his chest is heaving against your back as he pulls back and with a husky voice, he suggests into your ear, “Let’s find somewhere to go.”

Matty turns you around by your waist, groaning at the loss of friction when your arse isn’t pressed against him anymore, and intertwines your fingers to look for a place you can sneak away to so you can freely continue what you had started.

You stumble into the bar first though and a drink sounds tempting after your activities on the dancefloor have left your mouth dry. There’s a wide selection to choose from and your mind is still so dizzy from every touch and every movement of your bodies that you’re unable to choose something to drink.

Ribbons decorate the complimentary bottles of champagne that the hotel has put out for everyone, and when Matty pulls you over to crack open another bottle, you giggle when it starts bubbling over and he lifts it to neck it straight from the bottle. Matty giggles too, and he pulls you by your waist so you're pressed against him and he leans the bottle up so he can pour some into your mouth. You do this with ease, swallowing the first few mouthfuls of it before the bubbles get too much and it overflows and the liquid trickles down from your mouth to your neck and chest.

The shine it gives your skin accentuates the way the corset you're wearing is holding you in. And Matty can’t help but dip his head and clean up the line of alcohol that has ran right down your breast bone and disappeared between your cleavage. You have to hold in a moan when he licks the stripe up from your boobs to your neck, and when he pulls back with the biggest grin ever, he loves seeing that spark of lust in your eyes again.

Matty just gets more ideas though because when he puts the bottle back down, he spots the ribbon tied around it again, and he can’t help himself. He takes the material off the bottle, and he guides it around the back of your neck, both ends on the front which he ties delicately into a little bow.

But you’re having too much fun watching him react to your teasing, so you lean into his ear to softly ask for it to be “A bit tighter please,” batting your eyelashes at him when you stand back straight and you have to bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from smirking.

You definitely fail because Matty looks at you entirely overcome by lust but also a certain sternness from knowing that you know exactly what you’re doing.

“Is that tight enough baby?” He asks you after he’s pulled on the bow to tighten the ribbon around your neck a bit and you nod, your bottom still caught in your teeth, so your answer is a hum which sounds almost like a whine.

Matty is done for after that, clutching your hand tight as he goes to find the nearest place you can both hide into so you can carry on what you’re doing, and the first door he’s able to find open to show a massive bathroom that looks just well enough to try and alleviate the tension that you’re both feeling.

He pulls you inside as he turns on the light and quickly closes the door, crashing his lips against yours and pushing you right against the door. One of his legs goes in between yours, making you open them up for him as he attacks your lips, the hand he’s not using to cup your jaw goes down until it’s brushing against your thigh and it starts an agonising path until it disappears under your skirt.

He is the one teasing you now, his fingers tracing the edges of your underwear and missing your centre just to make you beg for it. You have to stop kissing him, mouth agape as your breath leaves you and you’re holding back a moan when the ghost of his touch brushes over your aching clit.

You’re wet and he knows it even if he had barely grazed you and he’s about to run a teasing finger over your clothed cunt to make you more desperate when someone starts knocking incessantly on the door, making you jolt in Matty’s arms.

Holding your breath as if that would make the person leave, you stand there frozen in his arms, waiting for the knocking to stop so he can finally touch you but whoever is behind the door is very adamant on going in the bathroom because they keep knocking without a break until you and Matty are sighing in utter defeat and you have to turn around, turn off the light and open the door for the person to come in.

They must’ve been in a rush because they don’t even acknowledge you two and the door slams shut after you’re out.

You feel hot everywhere, your heart racing in your chest and your clothes feeling too constrictive already, lips plump and you suppose, your lipstick gone. Matty is sweating slightly, curls starting to stick to his forehead, lips swollen and wet and his heart also hammering in his chest.

Being the one to lead the way this time, you turn a corner into an area you hadn’t bothered to check yet and you find a room just by the end of a small hallway. Instantly, excitement rises up your stomach and trying to be quick, you open the door and fully drag Matty inside with you.

The room is spacious and it has a massive king size bed in the middle but it’s weirdly covered in a bunch of different coats and bags thrown over. You don’t even give it a second to mind because there’s some free space on the bed and you’re walking to sit on it as fast as you can, pulling Matty to stand in front of you.

Your boyfriend gets flashbacks to the night after your date, when you asked him to fuck your mouth and from the sparkle in your eye, he knows you’re thinking the same as him. He gets impossibly harder when you palm him through his trousers, looking up at him through your lashes and letting your mouth hang open as he moans at your touch.

His belt is the first thing you take care of after he lets a shaky moan like he’s going to cum in his boxers if you keep that up and you’re too horny to let a drop of him go to waste so with agile fingers you’re undoing his belt and the button of his trousers is next.

You’re halfway done pulling the zip down, catching a glimpse of the white waistband of his Calvins when the doorknob starts rattling, startling you both. You can hear people attempting to get inside the room, a muffled loud conversation and more rattling that’s soon replaced with knocking that just about drives you insane.

Giving your boyfriend an apologetic look, you let your hands fall to your sides and push yourself up from the bed. Leaving a sweet short kiss on his lips as his hands are getting him decent again.

There’s a pained expression on his face when he’s tucking himself behind the waistband of the Calvins so his hard on isn’t obvious and you feel so bad for him but you can’t help find the situation a bit comedic. A giggle falls from your lips and when he glares at you for it, you press your lips together and raise your hands up acting like that wasn’t you.

His senses are in overdrive. He’s painfully hard, he’s too hot in his clothes, his throat is dry and his head is threatening to start hurting from how the people outside the room won’t stop fucking knocking on the door.

Matty huffs when he’s done, stepping forward until he can grab your hand and you are once again taking the lead.

When you open the door, you’re greeted by a group of four people whose frowns drop when they see you and one of them asks, “They told us we could leave our stuff here?”

You have no idea if that’s true, you’re guessing it is from the amount of things over the bed so you just shrug and open the door further for them to walk in, and thankfully, they’re so distracted to just leave their stuff as quickly as they can so they can go out into the party that they don’t even notice a miserable Matty right behind you.

There’s not a sight of another room after you leave that one so you’re both left to resign your mission and just keep to enjoying the party.

“Why don’t we just get a room?” He suggests with an air of defeat looming around him that you can’t help but find amusing.

“I actually do wanna party tonight.” You’re chatting back easily, trying to see for the first time how much you can push his buttons.

And when his face falls in despair, as he tries to fight back, “But-” you know you want to keep this up for as long as you can just to see at which point he could break.

“Plus there’s paparazzi outside,” You add a second excuse, “Don’t you think the receptionist would love a good tip off for the information of you and I getting a separate room?”

It wasn’t like you didn’t want it to continue, you really fucking did, but seeing this frustrated side of him was rather interesting and what was better than finding out more about your boyfriend.

Therefore all throughout the night you’re trying to steer him closer and closer to the point where he can’t have it any more. Either by dancing suggestively with Amelia and Charli as you stare right at him or making a show of ‘accidentally’ spilling some of your drink so you can wipe it with your thumb and sucking it clean.

It’s almost 3 in the morning when you pout at the sight of your boyfriend perched on a loveseat with a frown on his face and a drink in his hand. You go up to him with feign innocence, trying to act like you’re feeling bad for him and ask what’s going on as if you don’t know you’re the one orchestrating it all.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him, pout still comically dragging the corners of your lips down and popping your bottom lip for him to stare at.

With a hand coming to brush the curls falling on his forehead back, you wait until your touch relaxes him enough to offer you a hum in return and that’s when you purposely tug on his hair, shifting on his lap at the same time so he jolts at the friction lighting up a spark he had let die an hour ago.

His arm wraps around your waist instantly, not allowing you to move in the slightest and you find him glaring up at you with dark eyes. A giggle manages to escape your lips, followed by a not at all heartfelt, “Whoops.” that he doesn’t find amusing at all.

Matty doesn’t let his gaze falter on you, and you’re growing hot under it so in a further attempt to make it worse for him, you try to shift on his lap again but his hold gets tighter when he anticipates your action.

“Come on, let's go home.” Matty whispers in your ear, his sense of urgency showing when he subtly lifts his hips up as he straightens in his seat, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist that shows in between your skirt and your top.

“Okay.” You smile and spring up from his lap almost childishly, your feet already moving away from him and in the direction of your best friend.

Your boyfriend reaches out for your hand, clutching your wrist so he stops you in your tracks, “Where you going?”

“I’m going to have to go out with Amelia.” You explain quickly, your brows raising as if to remind him of the situation outside with the paparazzi.

He finally stands up, his chest coming to press against your arm as he leans in to say in your ear, “Didn’t know you were embarrassed to be seen with me baby.”

You fully roll your eyes at him and scoff, “Yeah so embarrassed, like you haven't been glued to my side all night.”

Quickly, Matty finds the words to bite back, “Like you’ve not been trying to suck my dick all night.”

But you know you have the last word when you quip back, “Like you’ve not been begging me to. Such a shame for you baby.” and he’s completely silent. You shrug and sigh victoriously and continue with your explanation, “Anyway, you know we have to go separate or we’ll never get a second's peace.”

Bless him though, he knows just how shit it is that you’re put in this type of situation so he pecks your cheek and you feel his heavy sigh against your skin, “I know baby, I just don't wanna leave you to get hounded by them.”

“I’ve got Ames, I’ll be okay.” You reassure him, cupping his jaw to leave a quick chaste kiss on his lips.

But before you can leave his side to get your best friend, he’s flashing you a smile and asking “You wanna get some food before we go?” as a tempting little bargain.

And that is how you, Matty, Amelia, Charli, and George find yourselves in Leader Chicken which is a 5 minute car journey away. You and Amelia left first, having that chicken shop in mind to go to and you ordered yourself a chicken burger meal and Amelia a chicken nugget meal.

5 minutes later the shop door opens again and your boyfriend, Charli, and George walk in and it turns a little rowdy. Matty tries to steal some of your burger which you elbow him away from you for doing. He asks, “Thought you exclusively ate nuggets in these places? Give me a bite.”

“I eat nuggets on dates because it doesn’t scream fuck me when I’m shoving a burger in my mouth, does it?” You frown at him, thinking that was a silly thing to suggest and a very invalid reason to give him some of your food.

Matty cocks his head a little to the side and tells you, “It didn’t scream that when you were eating nuggets to be honest.”

You frown properly at him hearing that, and you're more offended by that considering you thought he looked great on your first date. “Well, why did it when you were eating them then, you slut.”

“Don’t call me a slut with company around baby.” Matty whispers in your ear.

“Don't get your hopes up for anything now after that comment big boy.” You pat his arse twice before you move to stand with your best mate and Charli, taking a bite of your burger as you go.

George laughs at the way Matty’s face drops hearing that and the drummer wraps his arm around his best mate's neck and both of them start pissing about and laughing as they wait for the food. Once the other 3 have their food, the both of you split into different cars this time.

You and Matty drop Amelia off at her flat where Zoe comes out to collect her drunk sister and the food you ordered for her. After hugging your best friend goodbye, you spend the drive back to Matty’s house laughing and talking about the gig and the night but it’s something of a relief when you make it back inside Matty’s home.

The moment you’re inside you slip your shoes off and the concrete beneath your feet is a lovely cool sensation after you’ve been on your feet all day. Matty does the same before he picks you and you tell him to go and sit down and that you will get the both of you a drink.

When you walk into the lounge after getting the both of you a glass of water and you smile when you see your curly haired brunette. Matty has sat himself down on the settee, head backwards resting on the back of it, his eyes closed enjoying the silence around him. His legs are open and his arms come to rest down by his side, telling you that he really just plopped down on the settee with absolutely no intention of moving just yet.

Coming around to see him, you put your drinks down as you ask him, “Are you alright?” and you take a seat on him, straddling his lap, and bringing your hands up to his face so your touch can sooth him.

“Just tired.” Matty tells you, his eyes opening again so he can smile at you looking all stunning on his lap.

How the hell he’s managed to get you to be his is unreal. Never has he had better luck in his life.

And he makes sure he will never take that for granted. Your sweetness radiates when you smile so genuinely at him as you say, “You did great today, I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you darling.” Matty smiles, feeling so beyond happy and thankful he gets to call you his girlfriend now for however long you’ll have him. “Proud of you too.”

“What for?” You frown, not quite understanding. You’ve done nothing with your day but be by his side.

Matty chuckles a little at your lapse in memory, “You’re going to be hosting the Oscars after party. I’m beyond proud of you.”

“Oh shit,” You gasp, then laugh as you say, “How the fuck did I forget?”

“Big night for you, you saw your boyfriend on stage.” Matty plays a little, “Easily done.”

Of course you play along, “That’s it. Thank you for reminding me.”

You lean down then, only intending to peck his lips but as soon as they make contact you remember how good he’s been, and how much he’s probably aching for some relief even if his hard on has dissipated somewhat now. So you let your lips linger on his, pulling away to graze his before kissing him sweetly again.

All the while, your hands run slowly up his chest until you find the buttons of his shirt and once the first comes undone, the rest easily follow. Matty accepts all of your kisses as he tries his best not to smirk against your lips, but when you get more than halfway done undoing his shirt he can’t help but ask to tease, “What you doing baby?”

You kiss him again until you’re finished and pull the sides of it open, exposing his chest to you where you see your favourite tattoos. Your hands come to cup both of his cheeks, deepening the kiss this time and making your boyfriend moan against your lips, and you let your hands fall to his neck and slowly down his chest.

Only breaking your kiss to explain, “You always do this yourself,” You’re looking into Matty’s eyes as your one of your hands slip down his lower stomach, the other running back up to cup the back of his neck and when you continue in a sultry tone, “Think it’s about time someone else did it for you.”

As you pull him back into another searing kiss, you let your hand fully descend between both of your bodies and grab his crotch which has him moaning into your kiss.

Your fingers clutch tight around his hardening cock as you palm him over his trousers, and he’s a mess of whimpers and moans the more you continue until you decide he feels heavy enough under your fingers to go on. Swallowing a loud moan that slips past his lips by messily kissing him, you find yourself growing impatient to make him feel good so it’s you the one who breaks the kiss, but leaving him with a teasing tug of his bottom lip that you briefly catch between your teeth.

“Fuck.” Matty groans loudly at that, and he can feel your smirk on his skin as you kiss down his jaw and down to his neck.

You leave wet open mouthed kisses to his skin as you move up to his ear and smugly tell him, “If you ask nicely, I might.” and before he can backchat, you bite and tug on that slutty hoop earring of his which has his dick twitching and sharply inhaling.

He grasps your thighs tighter, “Baby, please.” and this time his fingers move higher up your skirt until they can dig into the flesh of your arse and make you hum in pleasure at the clear sign of his need for anything at this point.

Tugging at the zip of your skirt, you can tell he’s being completely driven by lust and it makes you chuckle in excitement, but you push his hands away in a silent instruction not to do what he’s not been told. Having this much power over him right now makes you feel giddy. “Want me to make you feel good baby?” You ask, moving back up so you can kiss his lips again.

“Yes.” He pleads, the desperation clear in his voice now because not being able to touch you adds so much more to it and it slightly pains him.

You smile at him, giving his dick one final squeeze as you lift yourself up from him entirely. His hands feel entirely lost without holding you now, but the feeling is clouded by the need of your touch on him again.

As soon as you grab a pillow from just beside him and put it on the floor by your feet, Matty’s heart rate goes through the roof. He can’t fucking wait, he’s been dreaming about having your lips wrapped around his cock again, you always look so heavenly when you do and christ the way you take him is so good. He can’t wait, his hips buck upwards as if he’s already imagining it all.

Still standing, you lean down over him, doing nothing to hide your smirk when you notice him glancing longingly at the way your cleavage is on full display for him. But his eyes close when your lips take up his again, and when he comes to cup the back of your neck, you don’t let him get too attached.

Instead you start your descent, kissing down his jaw, neck, and chest slowly. You’re dragging it out entirely but you want to kiss every last inch of him, and with his chest rising and falling faster than normal you know you’re working him up for what you have planned.

When you reach the waistband of his trousers, you have to really hold yourself back from shedding him off them and follow up with his boxers. Hunger is all that’s written in your eyes, a shadow of lust covering them in the way your pupils have dilated and almost made the colour of them disappear.

But ever since you saw that interlude tonight and the night before, you’ve got this train of thought that has been going round and round the back of your head and pushing its way to the forefront of your mind tonight. You want him to freely touch himself in front of you, moan as he fucks his own fist as a personal show for you, hear the things he says as he does so, let him run his mouth about what goes through his head whenever he does this.

In the best and briefest way you can, you tell him to do what you’re dying to see, “Tease yourself for me, give me the best view.” You sit back on your knees, giving him a look that he would be nervous to even dare defy, so he slowly lets his hands trail down his chest until it reaches the top of his trousers.

You watch as he shivers when his fingers ghost over his happy trail, letting out a shaky breath as he makes his best effort to keep his eyes on you while he does what you’ve asked him to, yet it’s hard when the look you give him makes him squirm on his seat even more.

There’s a bit of hesitation when his fingers hover over the button of his trousers, slowly undoing it but he pauses before he can get to the zip and looks at you like he’s asking for permission.

“Take them off.” You nod, not wanting the show that everyone else gets, you want the real thing and all of it.

Matty does as he’s told, unzipping his trousers almost instantly and pulling them down enough for you to take over and you let them pool at his ankles. Matty groans as he palms himself over his underwear until you look back up at him and watch as he takes his cock out.

You’re transfixed as you watch as he pumps himself a few times, spreading what precum is there before he spits into his palm so he’s not fucking a dry fist. Wet mouth falling open as he goes, soft gasps slipping past his pink lips and turning into full moans the tighter he squeezed himself.

“Good boy.” You smirk, watching as he fucks his fist, and you can’t help but press a kiss to his thigh before you lean your head on him entirely, continuing to watch.

But the simple feel of your lips on him, your touch anywhere on his body right now lights up a fire that he needs you to put out. Your fingers lightly trailing up and down his calf is even making him whimper, all he wants is your touch where he desperately needs you. He can’t find the pleasure he wants by giving it to himself as if it was just another lonely night on the road when he has you right in front of him.

He uses his breathless words to plead with you, “Y/N, please.” but his touch is still tight around himself, unable to stop when it feels so good after the whole night had gone incredibly wrong whenever you tried anything. “You’re so pretty when you’re moaning my name baby.” You praise your boyfriend, eliciting a whimper out of him. His brows furrow and he presses his lips together as he continues, heavy exhales out his nose this time, his cheeks turning a subtle shade of pink.

“Aw,” You pout, “You getting all shy on me now Matty?” but the tone in which you asked is mocking instead of pitiful, which earns you a pained cry of pleasure on his part.

“Why are you huffing like that?” You scorn him softly, “Thought this was what you wanted.”

Shaking his head profusely, he corrects you, “Want you baby, please.” but his hand doesn’t stop and you just laugh at how needy he is.

For a minute you give in, licking your hand before coming to replace his and your jaw falls slightly when he moans loudly at the feeling of your nimble fingers wrapping around him and stroking him up and down at almost the same pace he had set for himself.

You’re fighting yourself in your head when you quicken your movements, causing him to grow louder and squirm more under you, hips bucking to meet your fist more often as the seconds go by.

But just when his breaths shorten and turn into gasps for air, you leave him swollen, red and leaking, so close to his high that it being stolen so suddenly manages to get you a surprised whimper that turns into a funny cry in despair.

“Baby why?!” He demands an answer, his hand coming to take over for you again but you pin his hands down on the settee before he can and you chuckle at him.

“Thought you liked edging.” You tease him as an answer, and it works when his eyes open wide to glare down at you.

“I like edging you.” Your boyfriend corrects, entirely unamused by your actions.

Any other complaint dies in his throat when you push yourself up from your knees to stand in front of him and lean down over him to whisper into his ear, “And I like hearing you all pathetic, begging for me to touch you.”

Something inside Matty flips when you say that, perhaps it’s the surprise mixed with the dizzying after effect of his stolen orgasm, but he’s so willing to just let you have your way with him tonight.

He wants to see more of you like this. The prospect of you being in complete control drives him mad, that’s why he cooperates instantly when you add, “And we’re going to go to your room now to continue.”

Without even a kiss to pacify him, you push yourself back to stand properly and without a look back at him, you walk away and up to his bedroom. You’re biting your lip trying to hold your smirk and laugh when you hear him seething and scrambling to get up somewhere behind you.

When you get to his room, you find it just how you both left it. The duvet is not quite neat but it's not the messiest you’ve both left it, but before you even make it to the bed, you feel arms go around you and messy kisses being left on your shoulder, leading up to your neck.

You let him have his fun for a minute, even letting his hand run down to the bottom of your skirt and when his fingers trail up the inside of your thigh you let him start teasing your clit through your already soaked underwear. Matty gets you all breathless for him, teasing you exactly where you’re throbbing for him until your head falls back onto his shoulder, giving him more skin for him to kiss.

You almost lose yourself, succumbing to the pleasure he’s instilling in you. But when he mumbles, “So wet for me baby.” you push his hand away from you.

Turning around to him, you can see the lust clear as day in those dark eyes, especially when his eyes fall to your chest. It makes you smirk again, and you make him take your clothes off. But when he steps closer, his lips connecting to your collarbone as he goes to undo your skirt, you stop his lips from touching you. You give him a silent instruction not to touch you as he takes your clothes off, and you can see it pains him to be denied the luxury.

His hands reach for the zip on your skirt first, and that falls to the floor within seconds. He looks like a man starved as he takes you in, but you turn around so he can get the clasps that are holding your corset together.

You almost laugh at how impatient he is when it doesn’t come off easily and he has to pull it together part by part as more come undone and you’re sure he’s never been happier to throw a piece of material across a room. And once he has you in just your thong, he moves to stand in front of you, eyes fixed to your body as he pulls the last of your clothing off.

You don’t let him gawk at your naked figure for too long, bossing him around has you feeling impatient and his reactions are only travelling down south to get you wetter. Your hands are on his shoulders then and you push him back so he sits at the edge of the bed. And you know it is cruel when you go down to your knees and look up at him through your lashes evidently hinting at what your next move will be but there’s no intention within you to actually let him cum this time either.

Matty gasps in slight relief when your hand wraps around him again, your finger coming up to his leaking tip to smear down his arousal and you pump him. Once, twice, three times until he whimpers and lifts his hips up to help you give him pleasure.

But as soon as you’re there, you’re gone. Hand coming to press on his thigh but he doesn’t have time to complain when, instead, you lean in and run your tongue flat up his cock from base to tip. There’s not even a chance for him to prepare himself when you just sink your mouth into him completely. You moan when he hits the back of your throat and still there, fingers clutching harshly on his thigh when you try not to gag.

Your poor boyfriend set his expectations too high after that, because he fully thinks you’ll finally let him coat your throat as he cums but you won’t and he realises that when you pull off him and you lean back onto your heels with a smirk.

“Why- Baby, please.” His hips writhe on the bed, his cock so hard its moves as he does and his muscles contract in frustration.

You raise an eyebrow at him and ask, “What? You liked that?” as if you didn’t feel him twitch in your mouth when you did so.

And you become so much more amused when his reaction is an effervescent nod, a heavy breath slipping past his parted lips and pupils dilating even more through half lidded eyes.

Your mind is purely focused on teasing him so you go again, letting him hit the back of your throat once again and this time you look up at him, bobbing your head once and rolling your eyes in pleasure as you moan around him.

Under your hand, you can feel his leg shaking slightly and by the way he throws his head back, you know he’s so close to coming undone so you let him have it one last time. One more bob of your head and you’re off him, rising to your feet and just staring down at him as he pathetically cries out in frustration.

“Y/N why?!” He calls out with his eyes closed, a deep sigh coming from him. He’d been so close, with the way your throat clenched around him when you moaned, the wetness of your mouth enveloping him and making him delirious.

Matty can’t do it anymore, so he brings his hand to wrap around himself and finish what you didn’t but your hold comes quickly around his wrist and forces him to let go because you’re not allowing him to.

“No.” You say easily, satisfied entirely when he huffs again but listens. “You’re such a cry baby, aren’t you?” Your hand cups his jaw, making him look up at you and he does with a glare that excites you because all it says is that you’re in trouble. But this time you’re in charge so you give him a pout and offer, “Do you want me?”

There’s not a split of a second where he doubts, Matty is just instantly nodding but when your fingers dig on his face, he lets out a breathless, “Yes.”

Your tongue runs over your bottom lip as a smirk grows on your face. “Good boy,” you praise with a wink and then you lean into him, until your lips are just hovering over his and finish your demands, “If you want me, then you’ll make me cum first.”

His head is spinning from the whiplash of your behaviour still, so he has a hard time trying to figure out what is it that you want him to do but when you continue to run that filthy mouth of yours, he gathers what’s on your mind.

“You love to have that tongue of yours out all the time, don’t you? Why don’t you put it to good use and make me cum all over it.”

There’s no further instruction needed, Matty just shuffles himself up the bed until his head is resting on the pillow and he’s staring at you, impatiently waiting for you to move on top of him.

“Looking a little impatient there.” His hands are unable to stay still, they struggle to find a place to rest when he’s watching you slowly kneel on the bed and crawl up to him. When you reach just beside him, you make a show of straddling him and purposely let your slick, wet cunt graze the tip of his hard cock.

Anticipating his actions, you move forward and leave him more frustrated when he pushes his hips upwards to properly feel your wetness on him. You laugh, your knees coming right beside his shoulders and not calling him out when his hands come to clutch at your thighs.

He takes a look at you and he squirms underneath you when he catches a glimpse of how drenched you are, his throat going dry at the thought of your taste. It’s written all over his face, and it makes you want to laugh even louder.

Your right hand brushes his curls back, some of them stubbornly striking to his forehead from how he’s sweating, and the feeling of your fingers is delicate compared to your continuous attempt to make him suffer but it turns when your fingers tangle in his curls and you pull harshly on his hair. He groans loudly, hips bucking up once again, and you just can’t not call him out for it.

“Eager little slut.” Is what you say before letting yourself come down and his gasp leaves him at the perfect time for he has his lips parted instantly to allow his tongue to meet your core.

The wetness of his tongue meeting your throbbing clit has you seeing stars, and when he flicks it up and down at a relentless pace, you have to hold onto the headboard with the hand that’s not tangled in his hair.

“F-fuck!” You moan out loud when he switches to wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking it harshly, your legs trembling in pleasure as that familiar heat envelopes you completely.

The vibrations of a hum he lets out as he’s still sucking make your head hang to look down at him and you smirk with a hazy mind when you find him already staring up at you. He lets your clit go and kisses it quickly before flattening his tongue again and starts lapping at you, until he points it out and pokes into you with it.

You’re mewling as he continues doing that, jaw dropped and fingers in his hair making sure to keep him right there. Not that he wants to move, no. Matty wants you to cum all over his tongue, your taste making him get impossibly harder and if he thinks too much about how it would feel to have you clenching around his cock and not his tongue, he could cum right then and there.

As his tongue fucks into you, his nose rubs on your clit deliciously causing your hips come alive and start rocking against his face. Your orgasm fastly growing and you feel that knot tightening more the faster he goes and you love the feeling of how strongly his fingers are digging into your arse and thigh.

“So good for me.” Your hips are moving erratically as the friction becomes dizzying, your words slipping past your lips easily driven by pleasure, “A good whore for me, my whore.”

Those words make him go insane, and he only thinks he has to prove to you that he indeed is your good whore, only for you. So he goes back to lapping all over you to take in all that you’re giving him until your arousal and his saliva is dripping down his chin, and then switches between sucking and flicking your clit.

This time though, he surprises you when he takes one of his hands and dips two fingers easily inside you, making you curse out loud, “Oh fuck! Matty!” when his fingers curl and press on that spot you love so much.

When he adds a third finger, you’re done for. The stretch is already making you think of how much you want to feel all of him inside you and in pure desperation for that to happen, you let yourself go.

You throw your head back and shut your eyes when a loud moan rips through you as you cum all over him. Legs shaking beside his head when he doesn't let on until you’re the one to move away from his mouth and forcing his fingers to leave you.

On wobbly knees, you let go of the headboard and his hair and manage to move down until you hover over his chest. But before you can think of what you’re doing next, you bring up his slick coated fingers up to your mouth.

A loud moan bounces off the walls when you wrap your lips around his fingers and you taste yourself. You bob your head up and down sucking them clean with your lustful eyes on him, you can barely see the brown of his eyes anymore from how blown his pupils are.

Matty should’ve anticipated your next move, mischief clear in your eyes when you let go of his digits and lean into him, and with your right hand you harshly cup his jaw enough for him to know that you're silently prompting him to open up.

He lets his tongue out, anticipation running straight down to his dick a heavy breath hitting your lips before you spit in his mouth and instruct him to, “Swallow.”

Without a hint of doubt, he follows and you smirk down at him, very pleased at his lack of backchat or complaint. You let him know just how much you’re enjoying this by praising him with a, “Good fucking slut.”

There’s a sparkle in his eye, one that invites you to have some mercy on him so lacing your word with a bit of honey, you sweetly ask him, “You like making me feel good Matty?” still breathless and mind clouded from your orgasm. But moving back down his body you can tell just how much he’s struggling now.

He desperately nods at you, “Love it baby.” and you can’t help but lean down and kiss him. You moan, tasting yourself on his tongue and Matty groans against your lips when you let yourself straddle him properly again.

He can feel how wet you are from what he’d just done to you and you start grinding yourself against him, running yourself up and down the underneath of his cock. You part from the kiss by biting and tugging hard on his lip, and both of your actions make him loudly moan.

But your words definitely have him audibly groaning when you ask him, “Want me to make the ache in your cock go away?” You let your nose brush against his in an eskimo kiss before softly asking him, “Wanna cum inside me baby?”

“Yeah.” He pleads, his hands grasping your hips encouraging you to keep moving, because he can’t take getting nothing anymore.

But you don’t let him continue moving you, instead you stop and pull back a little to ask, “Yes what?”

“Please, baby,” Sounding utterly destroyed he begs, “Please make me cum.”

Smirking, you tilt your head to the side enjoying seeing him so desperate and ask, “You think you’ve been good enough?”

“Please Y/N,” Your boyfriend almost cries, “I have, I have, please.”

“Sit up.” You instruct, pushing yourself up with a hand on his chest and only when his chest once again meets yours, do you raise yourself up to line his aching cock up with your throbbing cunt.

You’re sure Matty’s hands have never gripped you so tightly as you sink down on him, welcoming that pleasurable stretch of feeling his cock inside you again. It feels like an age since he’d been inside you, it doesn’t feel like it had only been 5 days.

Your boyfriend is considerably louder as he moans at the feeling of you wrapped around him. Just to tease, as if you didn’t moan yourself, you praise him, “You make the prettiest sounds moaning in my ear baby.” and you kiss up from his collarbone to his jaw and then a long searing kiss on his lips when you start gently rolling your hips.

Your arms wrap around his shoulders, giving you the support you need to start fucking him properly. Lifting your hips enough to drop back down on his cock and the feeling is delightful for both you and him.

Your tits bounce as you go, pebbled nipples rubbing against his chest and the feeling brings shocks of electricity to every end of your body. Your knees start to get tired, already weak after you came on his face, so you sink down completely on him and switch to rolling your hips on him.

Matty watches you intently as your face scrunches up in pleasure when you start moving that way, your clit rubs against his skin with every roll of your hips which leaves you breathless and a moaning mess.

He can feel you clenching hard around him every time he hits that spot as you move which, added to the coincidental friction on your clit, makes the furrow of his brows become deeper as he wills himself to not cum yet - he finds purchase on holding tight onto your hips just to ground himself.

“No one makes you feel this good, do they baby?” You ask through half closed eyes, the feeling of utter bliss coursing through you as you carry on moving, “I’m the only one who makes you feel this fucking good.”

Your movements are erratic now, getting lost in the motion of him hitting that spot inside you over and over and the way he’s gripping you like you might disappear. There’s no doubt in your mind that there will be bruises on your hips from the way his fingers are digging into you so tightly, and you fucking love the possessive nature to it, even though it’s still you in control.

“Just you, god just you baby.” Matty admits, his eyes closed as he tries the hardest to grasp onto the last bit of restraint he has, “Y/N please.”

“You wanna cum Matty?” You ask, and he nods and pleads pathetically, mumbling things you can’t even make out so you tell him, “Beg for it.”

“Please, baby please.” He gives in without a second thought, “Need you. You feel so good. I can’t-” He chokes out, trying his best to wait for your command, but he’s so on edge that he can’t even manage to look at you for more than a second, his head hanging as he tries to hold on.

Your hand comes to cup his jaw, guiding him so you can see him properly, “Let me see those cute little faces you make.” And just to make it a bit harder for him, you’re bouncing on his cock again.

Using your pelvic floor, you clench purposefully when you rise up off him which has Matty choking on the hot air between you. You smirk, loving seeing him like this and you continue, until you tell he can’t take it anymore, he’s holding off and you know it.

So you finally give in and tell him, “Cum for me Matty.” and you keep a steady pace and watch as he falls apart beneath you. The long, guttural moan that leaves his lips has your jaw dropping, the noise alone turning you on more than you thought was possible.

You ride out his orgasm while continuing to chase yours and it takes just a bit of attention on your clit for you to cum around him. He whimpers when your cunt flutters around him, overly sensitive after the elongated edging.

“Did so good for me baby.” You grin with hazy eyes, breathless as you come down from your high, and you cup his jaw and softly kiss him.

He kisses you back sweetly, and he prolongs it not wanting it to be over at all. His heart feels like twice its size in his chest, he wonders how he aches for you even when you’re right there in his arms, kissing him.

It seems like time slows for the kiss, but even then Matty doesn’t think it’s long enough. You’re both grinning like drunk fools in love when your noses brush over each other’s in a cute eskimo kiss before you both decide that a shower is needed.

Under the warm water, both of you don’t really let each other go. Mumbles of, “Obsessed with you.” are uttered against the others skin and it makes Matty’s heartache.

How he’s managed to get you to agree to be his girlfriend is something beyond his comprehension. Your presence in his life has changed so many of his desires in a matter of a few months, and that is still a big revelation that he continues to uncover as the days go by. Matty realises that he’s never felt this way about anyone before. No one compares to you, and he’s sure no one ever will.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: HOPE BOTH HANDS REMAINED FIRMLY ON YOUR PHONES READING THIS CHAPTER! 😂😂😂😂😂 Lolllllllllllll 💀 Yeah I think me and @-alovesreading​ should probably repent again for writing this lmfao. Really hope you enjoyed it! Tour comes next and its going to be interestingggggggg, what do you think is going to happen? Thanks again for reading, see you for the next one xx

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[graciegoeskrazy]

if i believe u

matty healy + daughter!r (ft. gabbriette, charli, and george!)

warnings: angsty asf but what did u except, matty says he regresas being a dad, step moms(???), queen gabbriette, shitty matty, lying, yelling, a curse word or two, just general family angst, longest one if written in awhile, george n charli

a/n: first matty daughter r in awhile but 5 SEPERATE PEOPLE ASKED FOR THIS so i had to do it obvi. btw im not hating on gab she’s actually the hero of this story i will not tolerate gabbriette slander only matty slander eheheh. ty to my lovely anons who requested it makes me happy🤭

r is about 13 ish

Your dad said him and Gabby were going out to dinner while you were at your end of the year dance. It was an event for middle schoolers, nothing crazy, but they figured they’d take advantage of a couple hours to themselves by having a romantic dinner out. He said they’d be home well before you ended your night, and to just text when you got home.

“I’m home!”

You were met with no answer. You didn’t think much about it and went to your room, starting to take off your jewelry from the night.

“Hey, dancing queen.” He said, appearing in the doorway.

You smiled at his comment, looking back at him. “How was dinner?” You asked.

He cleared his throat before speaking. “Good…really really good.”

You thought his response was interesting, but didn’t look to much into it, just taking off your heels from the evening.

“Where’s Gabby?” You asked.

“Bedroom. Thought i’d talk to you in private for a second.”

You turned back suddenly. “About what?” He chuckled when your face turned to worry so quickly.

“Nothing bad. Don’t worry. No one is dead.”

You smiled back, crossing your arms. “Then what is it?”

He looked down at his hands, specifically one finger.

He rarely wore new rings, always sticking to the same ones. You quickly noticed he was grazing over a new one.

One that laid on a certain finger.

You already knew your answer, but you asked anyway, “What’s that?”

He showed a coy smile, while examining the ring on his own finger. “An engagement ring.” He said, smiling.

A part of himself couldn’t believe it. You definitely couldn’t believe it either.

“You’re engaged?” You asked, voice quiet.

“Yeah,” He said, with a faded breath. “Yeah honey, I am.”

Your voice became quiet. “To Gabby?”

“Yeah.” His smile wouldn’t go away. He hasn't smiled like that in so long. A part of you wanted to take a picture of it. Another part of you wanted to wipe it off his face.

“Wow.” was all you could say at the moment.

You spoke after a second of silence. “Are you sure about this dad?”

“About what? Marrying the love of my life?”

He started to get defensive right away. “I mean, Dad, I don’t know her.” You let out a short laugh and smile, as if that should’ve been obvious. “Yeah, she’s been nothing but nice but, you haven't been dating for even a year? And now what? She’s gonna move in with us?”

You saw his face turn. “No, we’re moving in with her.” He said quickly.

You couldn’t believe it. And the fact that he said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world made it harder. “Wh-what about London?”

He started to look anywhere but at you. “We’re gonna move to the states, baby.”

He can’t be serious.

You blinked at him, unsure if this was a dream. “So…I get zero say in this?”

He scoffed. “God forbid I try and give you some stability in life- a family.”

Your blood started to boil. “She’s not even old enough to be my mother.”

“Y/n Healy!”

“And what stability? My life has been a faltering mess since you’ve opened your mouth!” Your voice was now at ten, his not far behind.

“Do not talk to me like that young lady.” He stood straighter, in full authoritative dad mode.

“Don’t talk like what? Don’t tell the truth?” His eyebrow quirked. “You know full well the reason people dropped me, or the reason I had to switch friend groups is because of the stupid shit you’ve said.” He sighed, he knew you were right about that one. “Dad, it’s not that you’re getting married, it’s the fact that you didn’t even think to tell me!”

“I thought you would be happy! This is good news!”

“What about this conversation we’re having screams ‘happiness’?” You said while gesturing between the two of you.

“Oh, so you hate Gabby?”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t hate Gabby- I never said I did!”

“Oh so, you just don’t want me to marry her. You don’t want me to be happy.” He started to get protective, voice full of venom.

“I never said that ethier!” You were growing tired.

“Then what is it?”

You felt that it was painfully obvious, but clearly not. “Dad, my whole life is here. My school, my only friends, my home, and you’re just gonna take that away from me in an instant? Without any warning?” He started getting angry. You kept going.

“You didn’t even think about asking me!”

“I wouldn’t have to think about asking if you weren’t here!”

And there it was. The truth. The thought you’ve been dreading to hear since the moment you found out your existence wasn’t exactly planned. The straw that broke the camels back. The words you knew were always true, but never thought you’d actually hear him say.

Your world went blurry after that. Gabbriette stormed in, yelling “Matty!”, and shielding you from your father and any other personal or verbal attacks he might make, but the truth was that he recognized his mistake right after he said it.

He promised himself, right after you were born, he would never make you feel like a mistake. A burden. He wouldn’t be one of those dads. But here he was, frozen. Standing in front of his fiancé while she hold his baby girl, sobbing, because of his words. Because he made her feel that way.

You cried into her. She held you close. Your father slowly became aware of his mistakes and what he had done. Gabbriette looked at him, still holding on tight to you. “Get out.”

He swallowed. “I didn’t mean-“

“Get out Matthew.” She said sharply.

He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

It felt like the weight of the world came crashing down on your shoulders. The truth, finally free, so heavy that you couldn’t keep up anymore, you came falling down with it.

Gabby knew he didn’t entirely mean it. But, her focus was on the task at hand. And that was getting you back to feeling safe. You sobbed and sobbed into her, the cries getting more violent over time. “It’s alright, i’ve got you.” She brought you to the bed, soothing you and kissing your head gently. “I’m right here.”

—————

Matty woke up the next morning with a raging headache. He turned to find his fiancé’s side of the bed empty and cold. He sighed.

The knocks wouldn’t stop. He begrudgingly leapt out of bed and to the front door. When he opened the door he was met with Charli and George, standing side by side. Both still in lounge clothes but Charli wide awake, compared to George who looked half asleep.

“What did you do to your daughter now?” She asked, crossing her hands over her chest, voice full of power.

Matty tried rubbing his eyes awake, but it was no use. “What?” he asked, voice full of sleep.

Charli ignored him and flew past him through the house. “You think my kid was really capable of keeping her mouth shut? Baby?! Auntie Charli is here!!!”

George, still in his sleepy state, met his friend, closing the door behind him. “What did you do man?”

Matty sighed, putting his hands over his eyes to block out the peaks of sun coming in as he made his way to the living room. “I messed up.”

George rolled his eyes, “Well clearly because Charli wouldn’t wake me at 7am if it wasn’t important.”

Matty groaned and leaned back. “How did she even know?”

George shrugged, “Your girl must’ve texted ours.” Matty hummed. “She swore to y/n she wouldn’t tell us, but she was worried about what you said to her. Came crying to us this morning.”

George patted him on the shoulder and started to leave the room. “I’m making coffee. Go put pants on and then tell me what happened.”

—————

earlier that morningr - 4am

You only left your bed once after the fight and it was only to change out of your dress from the dance and into pjs Gabbriette gathered for you after much convincing that you’d be more comfortable.

She brushed your hair back and into a ponytail. When she tried to leave after you finally settled, you begged her in your sleepy state to stay.

So she did.

Come 4 am, you were wide awake. Unable to get your fathers words out of your mind. “Are you awake?” You said.

“Yeah.” She said.

It took you a second but she spoke. “I’m sorry, Gabby.”

She opens her eyes and turned to face you, grabbing your face softly with one hand in the process. “You have nothing to apologize for, y/n-”

You started crying at the gesture. “I don’t hate you! I swear I don’t! He’s lying-“

She shushed you. “I know you don’t, sweet girl. He’s just trying to get in your head after everything.”

You slowly nodded and she sighed. “You need to know that you did nothing wrong. Ever.”

Your cries turned to sniffles. “Yes I did.”

“What did you do?”

“I existed?”

She knew this is how you really felt, and it hurt her so much to realize that the person who was supposed to be the love of her life did this to his own daughter. He made you feel this way. Nothing or no one else. “Honey, that’s not true.”

“Yes it is. He said it!”

“Well what he said was wrong.” She said frim, yet caring. “No doubt about it.”

The sniffles slowly softened even more over time. After a minute or two in comfortable silence, you spoke. “I hope you still love him though.”

She laughed, not expecting your honest remark. “Unfortunately, I still do. With all my heart.” She didn’t miss the smile that danced on your lips. “Go back to sleep. I don’t need him clouding your thoughts when you’re trying to get your beauty rest.”

You closed your eyes, snuggling closer to her, hand quickly grazing over hers in the process. “Damn girl, that’s a big fucking rock.” You said.

She laughed and smiled.

—————

She explained everything to Chali when she woke them up the next morning. You hid in the bed, crying. You had thought so but she did confirm that she was eavesdropping the entire time. You didn’t mind though. She had your back and that was all that matters.

—————

Matty sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the framed picture he held in his hands. Your bright, innocent smile seemed to mock him, reminding him of the days when you would run into his arms after school, eager to share every detail of your day, no matter how mundane it was.

He thought about how you stood by him, through it all. It didn’t matter if it was family issues, band drama, or even his drug addiction. He loved the fact he didn’t have to pretend to be someone for you, not a rockstar, a perfect son or friend, just Dad, your Dad. And for a very very very long time, that was all you needed.

The house felt colder, quieter. He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair, and stood up.

It was time. Gabbriette had left for some errands earlier that morning, making a point to look your father dead in the eyes and telling him to ‘man up and do it.’ Truthfully, he couldn’t let another day pass without trying to bridge the gap between the two of you. With determined steps, he walked down the hallway to your room. He knocked gently on the door, the sound echoing louder than he anticipated in the silent house. “Baby? Can we talk?” he called, his voice wavering slightly. No response. He knocked again, a little louder this time.

“Baby girl, please. I just want to talk.”

Still nothing. He sighed, leaning his forehead against the door. “I’m coming in,” he said softly, turning the knob and pushing the door open.

You were sitting at your desk, your back to him, headphones on, absorbed in a sketchpad. Your long curly hair, nearly identical to the ones Matty used to embrace, cascaded down your back, slightly hiding your face from him. He took a step inside, the creak of the floorboard announcing his presence.

“Y/n?” he tried again, his voice barely above a whisper.

You didn’t turn around. He could see your shoulders tense, though, and he knew you heard him. Guilt twisted in his stomach, but he pressed on.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. For everything.”

There was a flicker of movement; you paused your drawing but didn’t remove your headphones. Matty felt a pang of desperation.

“I know I’ve made mistakes. Big ones. And I know I’ve hurt you,” he continued, his voice cracking. “I was so caught up in my own problems that I didn’t see how it was affecting you. And for that, I’m truly sorry.”

He watched as your hand gripped the pencil tighter. It was a small reaction, but it was something. He took another step closer, now standing just a few feet behind you.

“I miss you,” he said, his voice barely audible. “I miss our talks, our laughs. I miss my daughter.”

Slowly, you reached up and removed your headphones, placing them carefully on the desk. You didn’t turn to face him, but your silence spoke volumes. Matty took it as an invitation to continue.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. Or even talk to me. I just… I just needed you to know how sorry I am.”

There was a long pause. Matty felt the weight of the silence pressing down on him, each second stretching into an eternity. He opened his mouth to say something else but then closed it, unsure of what more he could add.

Finally, you spoke, voice barely a whisper. “You can’t just say sorry and expect everything to be okay.”

Your words, though quiet, felt like a punch to his gut. He nodded, though you couldn’t see him. “I know,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I know.”

“It’s not that simple, Dad,” Your voice broke slightly. “You hurt me. A lot.”

He felt tears welling up in his eyes. “I know I did. And I hate myself for it. But I love you, darling. More than anything in the world. You know that.”

You finally turned around, eyes red and filled with tears. You looked at him for a long moment, searching his face for something—truth, perhaps, or sincerity. Your dad held his breath, afraid to move, afraid to break whatever fragile connection you had in that moment.

“You said you regret having me,” you said, voice trembling. “That you wished I wasn’t here- How do you expect me to forgive that?”

His heart shattered at your words. He knelt down beside your chair, looking up at you. “Darling, I was wrong. I was so wrong. I was overwhelmed and stressed, and I lashed out in the worst possible way. I didn’t mean it. Not for a second.”

You looked up, blinking away the tears streaming down your face. “But you said it. You can’t just take it back.”

“I know,” he said, voice breaking. “I know I can’t. But please believe me when I say I didn’t mean it. I love you more than anything in this world. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

Matty felt desperation clawing at him. “I’ve been a terrible father, y/n. I let my own problems cloud my judgment. But I want to change. I need to change. For you. For us. That’s why maybe this whole engagement thing isn’t a bad idea?”

You sniffled again, giving a serious look, “I don’t hate Gabby.”

He sighed, “I know you don’t-“

“You really hurt me, Dad.” Your eyes were filled with pain and tears.

He nodded, tears streaming down his face. “I know, sweetheart. And I’m so, so sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right. Just… please give me a chance.”

You looked down at your work, fingers tracing the lines you’d drawn. Matty watched you, his heart aching for a sign of hope.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” you said softly. “Not yet.”

Matty nodded, his heart heavy. “I understand,” he said gently. “I’m not asking you to. I just want you to know that I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

You looked at him, eyes searching his face. “Do you really mean it?” you asked, voice small. “That you’re sorry?”

Matty met your gaze, his eyes filled with tears, and smiled. “With all my heart,” he said. “I’m so, so sorry, my love.”

You held his gaze for a long moment, then nodded, a single tear sliding down your cheek. “Okay,” you whispered. “We’ll see.”

Matty smiled through his tears, a small, hopeful smile. It was a start, a glimmer of hope in the darkness. And for now, that was enough.

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-One

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: This is a long one, it took me a while but hopefully the waits been worth it? EMOTIONS is all I'm going to say.

Warnings: Lots going on- talks of car crashes, alcohol abuse (both in the past) also some previous thoughts on trauma and different coping mechanisms

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

It takes a second for change to implement itself, though it can take a while longer for its realisation to truly hit.

…

I could hear him. 

Bustling his way around my kitchen, singing quietly as he worked on the breakfast he’d promised the night before. Tins clattered, the kettle whistled, and the fridge door rattled closed, all whilst I padded my way towards him, pausing in the entryway to simply take in the sight I’d been gifted.

I grinned over at Teddy, who was currently tiptoeing on the wooden stool I had tucked away for whenever he felt inclined to help me cook, and then at Matty who seemed happy enough with making him giggle whenever he chose to lean in close to sing by his ear. 

“Thinking this through… It's like, one,”

“..TWO!” Teddy laughed back when Matty pointed at him, beaming brightly at the sight of the man’s all too amused face.

“Yeah, ‘cause I'm in love with you-”

“I-I-I-I!”

It was something I’d never thought to even picture, let alone see, my son staring up at a man with such adoration and pride. The two of them simply belonging. The whole scene made me ache with a wanting for it to never stop, but even the best of things had to come to an end I supposed.

Matty turned, a smile painting on his features, only to pause when he caught sight of me, watching them from the doorway. He narrowed his eyes, then gave me a sly smile, before he placed the plate he’d been holding down on the counter and shuffled on closer, arms stretching out towards me as he continued to sing along to his own song. I mean, the ego on him.

“… I’m in love with you.”

It was hard going, attempting to dampen the grin that pulled at the corners of my mouth, especially when Matty wrapped his arms around my hips and started to sway us to and fro. He raised his brows up at me, fully expecting me to finish off the song for him, so I rolled my eyes and laughed the final line out, accompanied by a much louder Teddy, “I-I-I-I-I.”

Matty leaned in close to press a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth, his tangled hair tickling my cheek. He chuckled lowly to himself when I wrinkled my nose at the feeling and tried to escape from his hold, but did eventually let me go.

“What are you even making?” I asked the pair of them around a fond smile, crossing the kitchen to ruffle Teddy’s curls and open up the little window there. I sniffed lightly. “Did you end up burning something too?”

Matty rolled his eyes at that and shook his head with a tut, before he moved to pick up his plate once more, sliding past Teddy and I to grab at the toast which had just popped up. “No.”

“Liar.” I laughed with Teddy, picking him up and settling him on my hip whilst Matty turned his back on us to start buttering the bread. “What’s with the big breakfast then anyway? I thought you had to record today.” I asked him, praising Teddy quietly for the way he’d spooned some sugar and two teabags into a pair of matching mugs for us. 

“Later on,” Matty answered me in a quiet murmur as I peered over his shoulder to nick a fresh piece of toast. “Oi!”

Grinning around the bite I’d just taken, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t completely charred. “Better than the last batch.” I told him honestly and with a wry smirk.

Matty just shook his head at me, but even as he turned back to the task at hand I could see the tiny beginnings of the smile he wore. “Said I could cook.”

With a sarky hum, I could only reply, “Does toast even count as cooking?”

I was simply swatted away with a tea towel in hasty retort and Teddy squealed, wriggling to be let down.

“Okay, okay!” I relented with a laugh of my own before I slid on over to press a grateful kiss to the side of Matty’s neck. “It’s very good, merci mon amour.” 

I pulled away with a grin when I felt him tense beneath me, gesturing to Teddy for him to go ahead and grab the milk for us from the fridge whilst I began to pour the hot water into the tea he’d started. 

“What are you up to today then?” Matty asked after having cleared his throat, tossing the butter-covered knife into the sink before he looked over at us. He thanked Teddy proudly when the little monster hurried back from dumping the tea bags in the bin to point at the man’s given cup. “Lifesaver!”

Teddy giggled happily.

Matty’s question had me chewing on the inside of my cheek as I went about lifting Teddy into his usual seat at the kitchen table and laying a plate in front of him. I smoothed down his tousled hair and didn’t quite look in Matty’s direction when I finally said, “You know, the usual… Quick trip to the shops, phone mum, speak to Finn, maybe pop into the park. I hear they’ve put in this new little greenhouse by the pond, you know, just across the bridge?”

I’d thrown it in there, hoping that he might just brush over it. But then Matty didn’t offer me an answer of any kind, so with nothing else to occupy myself with I slowly peered over to where he still stood, propped up against the kitchen counter. 

He was staring down at the bowl of fruit he’d prepped sometime earlier, almost as though the grapes had suddenly grown legs and the banana pieces had turned purple. I sighed quietly to myself and felt my shoulders drop an inch before crouching down to whisper in Teddy’s ear, “Go turn on the tele for me, yeah? We can eat on the sofa today.”

Teddy’s entire face lit up at the very prospect and was so eager in his haste to hurry into the living room that he almost toppled out of his chair. I chuckled in fond exasperation, helping him down and handing him his plate with a quiet caution before allowing him to run off.

It was then that I turned my attention back to the main issue at hand. 

We hadn’t spoken much of Finn and what had happened back at the studio. I’d given Matty his space after it had all gone down, allowed him the time to mull it over and hopefully forget the words that had been said, but I knew that had mostly been wishful thinking on my part. 

Still, I was kicking myself for it now. We’d been good. Things had really been looking up; at work and at home, with Teddy and Matty, and then with Matty and I. Stupidly, I had thought that this might just be something we could have simply plastered over and left to settle, because admitting to the fact that things weren’t alright between two of the most important people in my life just wasn’t something I was ready to face yet.

I’d been selfish in that regard though, it seemed. Because of course Matty had taken the brunt of it all and pretended to shrug it off like it was no skin off of his nose. Leaving me to realise all too late just how much this whole thing had affected him. 

“Matty.” I called to him softly before I gently rested my hand on the crook of his arm, testing if I was welcome. When he didn’t immediately shy away from my touch, I slid in behind him so that I could press my forehead to the curve of his back, to where that little dip in between both of his shoulder blades resided. 

Thoughtlessly, my fingers trailed over the hem of the jeans he’d thrown on that morning, toying with the two belt loops which sat at the very centre. 

We stood there for a long moment in the quiet space of the kitchen, the food going cold but neither one of us really caring. It was only when I felt some of that tension finally ebb in his shoulders that I slowly wound my arms around his middle, smiling slightly when I felt his hands take hold of mine at his front.

“I hate this.” I admitted to him, voice so faint it was muffled by the fabric of his t-shirt. His fingers squeezed my own.

“I know.” He told me after a small pause and I felt him raise his head to gaze out of the small window sat opposite. “I know, Squeaks. Me too.”

I squeezed back.

“I’m sorry we haven’t spoken about it either. That I let it fester. I just wished, hoped even, that you might not linger too much on it, that things would- I don’t know, just end up working out. But I was stupid.”

Matty heaved a weighted breath and I let my eyes slip closed at the motion before he carefully turned in my grasp. He stopped to stare down at me, lifting a hand to tuck a strand of stray hair behind my ear, thumb brushing over a whitened scar I had yet to hide with makeup.

“Don’t. There’s no need.” He murmured to me, though his gaze was focused on the slow movement he’d just made. “Talk to him. He’s your mate, it’d be weird if you didn’t. But, I don’t know. Reckon I just might need some time. That alright?”

I was already nodding before he could even finish his sentence, more than okay with that. “‘Course it is. Though I don’t know much about talking with him, I’m betting on a screaming match. I’m still fuming with how it all went down.”

Matty gifted me a soft chuckle, and although it was hollow he had tried and that was what mattered most to me. It would take time to move past this, I could understand that. “Let him explain first, yeah?”

I frowned, brow pinching with it. “What do you mean? What’s he got to explain?”

He smiled, one of those soft dopey ones of his, the kind he often gave me whenever I’d said something silly or he was humoured by my confusion. “I get it, Mouse.” He sighed quietly, “I don't like how he went about it, it was cheap, shitty even, but he was just looking out for you, babe.”

My frown deepened and I didn't care to give his words much thought. “There’s looking out for me and then there's being a massive prick, Matty.”

With a huffed breath of a laugh, Matty trailed his thumb down my jaw to skirt over the bottom edge of my lip. His eyes finally met mine. “He went about it the wrong way, but he’s been good for you, baby. Looked after you and Teds for years, got you through some hard times, and so for that I give him a little leeway.” 

My expression softened. 

Matty’s fingers pinched my chin as he coaxed me back up to meet his gaze.

“Do that for me?” He asked, and who was I to say no to an ask like that?

Instead of answering him though, I simply leaned in and kissed him sweetly, cradling his jaw in my hands so that I could thumb over the tops of his cheeks. I wondered, momentarily, where I’d gotten so lucky.

–

A kid in the studio had both its perks and disadvantages, Matty had soon come to see. 

Squeaks had been messaging Finn not long before he’d gone to set off, slowly pulling out some clean clothes from the ever growing pile he kept adding to each time he went round to her flat, whilst Teds completed his phonics, sat on the bed.

He’d kept calling out to Matty whenever he’d stumble onto the next, asking him to sound it out for him before trying to memorise it himself. Matty had enjoyed it- enjoyed all the time he spent with the little monster as a matter of fact- but helping him with the lessons he knew that Teddy would soon carry on further into his life… He didn’t know, it just settled something within him. Made him feel needed. 

He hadn’t ever felt much of that.

Anyway, Squeaks had come into the bedroom just as he’d been tugging on a jumper, one she had said she’d liked the last time he’d worn it, and mentioned that she had to get ready to drop Teddy off round Adi’s so that she could head on over to meet Finn. 

Matty had tried to keep his expression fairly neutral each time she mentioned the man. Because he hadn’t lied earlier when he’d asked for her to give her mate the benefit of the doubt. But it still irked him. The whole situation did, in truth. See because he knew that he was running on fucking borrowed time here with her. He’d never claimed to have been a lucky man either, so he knew that something was bound to happen sooner or later. He was merely praying that he’d be able to hold onto this small bubble of peace he’d found for himself for as long as he possibly could.

Teddy had appeared put out by the fact that he would have to head on over to Adi’s, who still lived with her elderly grandmother. All pouty and sweet looking, proper cute in actuality, and Matty had honestly gone and spoken before his mind had even had a chance to catch up with his massive mouth.

Mouse had been just as surprised by his offer to let Teds tag along with him down to the studio, spilling out claims that it would be fine with the guys (who’d yet to even meet the tyke) and that they weren’t actually working on anything too big that afternoon (just recording the ending of a session). And even though Matty hadn’t exactly asked the lot of them beforehand either, he figured it to be true enough.

And with the relief that had visibly fallen off of Squeaks at his reassurance, Matty hadn’t had it in himself to regret the offer. So with that, he’d set to helping her get Teddy ready for the day and then headed out the door.

Thing was though, the last time he’d ever gotten the tube with a little kid had been years before when his mum had visited with Lou. And back then she’d been the one to worry over his every move, not wanting to lose him in the crowd or have him swept under a carriage. Gruesome yeah, but it was a real fucking fear Matty realised. 

This time around it had been his turn though, and God, did he feel sorry for all the shit he’d given his poor mum throughout the years. Was this why parents looked so tired all the fucking time?

Teddy was good enough though, curious sure, always asking questions and pointing at everything, but he listened, held onto his hand and didn’t ever wander off. He’d enjoyed counting the stops on the train too and didn’t think much of the few stares they’d gotten on the platform and again when they’d sat down. 

By the time they’d made it to the studio, Matty had felt as though he’d just gone and ran a half marathon.

It was only when Teds had crowded into his trouser leg upon first walking through the entrance that he realised that this was just as new to Teddy as it was to him, and the fact that he was now being forced into an unknown setting probably didn’t make things much easier for the kid. 

Still, he had managed to perk up on the small tour Matty had given him. Wanting to ease his nerves before they ventured much further, it had just been the two of them wandering the halls aimlessly and simply nodding or smiling at the very few people who passed them by. 

It was only once Matty had figured it time to head into the room the band usually booked did Teddy quieten again.

“Where’ve you been? Only texted you like twenty times!” Matty heard George huff from around the short corner they were hidden behind after he’d called out to let them know that it was just him. 

Matty paused by the door to cast a glance down at Teddy, but the kid was already looking at everything the walls had to offer; the big plaques with the even bigger names, the posters and many album covers that dotted the dark paint. It was only when Matty crouched down to level with him did Teddy glance back.

“You alright, monster?” He asked quietly, wanting to give Teds a second to wrap his head around things. Matty noted that he was back to chewing on his lip again, eyes wide and unsure, but Teddy gripped onto the hand Matty silently offered him. 

After a moment, Teddy nodded at the question and Matty gave him a hopeful smile. “Good, ‘cause imma need you to kick this sorry lot into shape for me, alright? I mean, I know I’m good but they can’t just depend on me for everything, can they?”

He was gifted a quiet giggle, one which eased Matty’s mind a tad. 

“Matt!”

Matty rolled his eyes at the shout of his name then shook his head mockingly at Teddy, who seemed to have jumped a bit at the beckon. “Told you, didn’t I?” He tutted playfully to the boy, rolling his eyes too for added effect, “Fall apart if I’m not here.”

Teddy was back to smiling now, “Like mum.”

Matty laughed at the comparison, certain that Squeaks would say that she had a much harder job with the show than he did here in the booth. But Matty wasn’t too inclined to disagree, she worked far too hard in truth.

“Exactly, mate.” He replied anyway, then nodded in the direction of the many voices that were bouncing their way towards them, watching as Teddy peered round him once more, “You think you’re gonna be okay?”

Teddy blinked and then looked over towards him, it was in moments like these which Matty saw just how much he resembled his mum, he reckoned it was those big eyes of theirs that held so much emotion.

“Yeah.” The boy finally breathed out and so Matty squeezed his hand just once in support, before lumbering back to his feet. He stole a quick breath for himself and then started leading them both further inside.

George was stationed where he always was, by the decks, surrounded by laptops and many a monitor. Ross was sprawled out on the beanbag they’d lugged in on day three, fiddling with the bass he held in hand. Hann, however, had chosen to sit nearest to the door and so he was the only one to glance upon at their nearing footsteps.

Matty watched on as a flash of surprise flickered across his mate’s face. Brows rose and a slow blink was seen before Adam finally smiled, looking every inch the father Matty knew him to be. 

“Just who might you be then?” Hann greeted cheerfully whilst tucking his mobile back into his trouser pocket. He didn’t make a move to get up off the settee corner though, something which Matty felt immediately thankful for, it seemed neither of them wanted to crowd the kid just yet. 

It was with that greeting though that Ross’s head finally shot up and George turned to face them in his big fancy chair. The pair of them flicked both alarmed and shock filled gazes to Matty, who did his very best to ignore their all too familiar mugs.

“This is Teddy.” Matty acknowledged, crouching down once more so that Teds could lean further into his side whilst his wide eyes surveyed their way about the rest of the room. Matty wondered what it must’ve felt like for him, struggling to recall moments from his own childhood when his mum and dad had brought him along to their interviews to sit in the audience.

“Teddy love, these three doughnuts are my mates. You remember, the ones I’m in a band with?”

Matty let Teddy have a second, waiting quietly as the little boy dragged his gaze back towards him with parted lips, he blinked and then nodded, hands wringing the sleeve of Matty’s jumper.

Matty merely smiled, bringing the kid in closer to press a quick kiss to his head of hair. “Look, Teds. See that one there, with the funny face? That’s Hann.” He was delighted to hear Teddy’s soft laughter, however muted it was, even as Adam scolded him with an unimpressed glare. “Then in the corner there, that guy?” Teddy dipped his chin, eyes trained on the bearded bloke who was grinning away like a twat, “That’s Ross, he looks like a giant but cries when he’s hungry.”

“I do not!” Ross shot back scathingly, narrowed eyes pointed at Matty which only proved to fuel Teddy’s quiet chuckles.

“Yeah alright, MacDonald.” Matty ignored whatever else Ross attempted to say after that, rolling his eyes theatrically towards Teddy before he gestured over to where George was sitting in his chair, pushing those pretentious sunglasses he often wore up onto his shaved head. “And that one there, that’s G.”

Teddy leaned in close again to whisper in Matty’s ear, “Drums.”

Matty chuckled despite himself, loathing the fact that of course Teds would have remembered the drummer. Most did. “Yeah, mate. That’s him.”

George quirked a brow at the hushed conversation shared but said nothing on it, at least not then. Instead he just waved Teddy on over, “You want to come see? Got a ton of buttons you can press.” He added as though he was trying to entice the kid. 

Matty dampened the mirthful grin that crawled up onto his face when it seemed to work though, even as Teddy tugged him along by their joint pair of hands. 

By the time Matty finally got around to stepping into the booth to record a few verses a while later, Teddy felt comfortable enough to wait for him just outside the door with the three giant idiots he’d left him with.

–

A stalemate.

That was where we were currently sat.

Even with everything that had gone down, him starting this whole mess, I had been the one to go to him. To his loft where he worked most days when he wasn’t with clients, or visiting galleries. 

Finn had welcomed me in with his usual hello through the intercom, buzzing me up into the building and then meeting me just past the front door. He’d been kitted up when I’d entered, still in his apron and covered in paint, the latter of which he was trying to wash off when I first spotted him. 

He’d had the kettle already going and he smiled slightly after asking me how I’d been. I’d been truthful, said that I was doing good- all things considered.

There’d been an awkward pause at that, the two of us unsure on where we should then go with the encounter, but the kettle had whistled and on instinct I had turned to grab the mugs. 

He had nodded gratefully, but then gestured me over to where his colourful sofa sat by the large open bay windows, joining me with two steaming brews not a minute later. 

“How’s Teds?”

I licked at my lower lip at the question, peering into the still swirling mug. “Good, on Easter break soon enough.”

“What have they been working on then?” Finn asked next, because we both knew this was a safe topic, an easy starter. 

“Phonics at the moment,” I replied with a small smile that couldn’t quite be helped, recalling the way Teddy had puttered around after Matty this morning calling out each sound he’d needed to learn. “He sounds them out after breakfast most days and then again at night.” We shared a brief smile, before I mentioned, “Matty’s been helping too.”

Finn hummed. 

I pressed my lips together to keep from blurting out everything I wanted to say at the sound of it, attempting to stick to the plan I’d formed on my way over here. Letting Finn open up on his own, rather than come in all guns blazing.

“How is that going then?”

My brow pinched as I peered over at him from across the settee, “What, with Matty and I?”

Another hum, though this one was accompanied by a slight nod.

I was wary of how to answer Finn, especially after having learnt what the man truly thought about our whole relationship, but figured I should at least be honest.

“We’re happy.” I love him. “He’s good for me, I think.” It terrifies me. “He brings out a part of me that I haven’t seen much of since- I don’t know, maybe my first year of uni?” I let go of a breathy chuckle, picking at the wrinkled hem that sat at the knee of my jeans. “It’s been, really nice.”

When I chanced a glance back up, it was only to find Finn already looking back at me, his expression carefully set, almost as though he was trying to suss out any sort of lie in my answer. I waited a second and then he smiled. Nothing less than genuine, and I felt my whole body relax at the sight of it.

“I’m sorry for how I reacted.” Finn spoke softly, placing his cup down on a side table to slide on a tad bit closer. He rubbed at the back of his wrist before settling his hands in his lap, “I shouldn’t have gone about it the way I did, I just- You know I care so much, Mouse. And this is me in no way asking to be let off the hook or anything of the like, but, you have to remember I was there through it all.”

Frowning slightly at his words, I followed Finn’s prior motion, putting my own mug down so that I could pull a leg up under me, settling nearer. 

He let go of an exhale, “I was there when you found out about Teddy, I was there before that and then after. I saw the line of broken hearts you left in your wake, chasing this thrill you sought so hard to find, and all of the games you wanted to play.” 

He took my hand then and I just let him, thinking on his words, on how it must have seemed to someone else looking in from the outside. I knew I’d been a right mess after leaving home. 

In truth, I’d been a mess since the night of the accident, when my whole world had been flipped on its head, turning me into this scarred little kid. Leaving me not only alone, but wanting to chase after everything I felt I’d missed out on because of it the second that I’d gotten the chance. Which had meant finding friends and casual sex, bar hopping and clubbing for days on end, looking for the next best thing to simply entice or excite me.

Finn had been there.

He’d been there through most of it, if not it all. He had watched me jump from guy to guy, get my stomach pumped at the local A&E, not just once but three times. He’d been the one I had turned to in my lowest moments, when I’d felt dirtied, when I’d just wanted to cry, or to merely laugh. He was there.

I could understand what Matty had meant now. 

‘He looked after you and Teds for years, got you through some hard times, and so for that I give him a little leeway.’

“I can still picture your face, you know.” Finn murmured, stare fixed on the tight hold I now had on his hand. “That night you turned up at mine after finding out that you were pregnant. You looked a fucking state, soaking wet from the rain and wearing only your pjs.” We shared a light chuckle that echoed before drifting off. “It broke me, to see you like that.”

“I know.” I whispered in a rasp, emotions clinging to the back of my throat.

Finn only smiled sadly. “But it worked out. Enough that you seemed happy enough with what you had. And I know that Teddy will always be enough fro you, but you deserve so much. You deserve to live and to love, to have that family you’ve always dreamed of.” I went to protest but he just shook his head, “I know it’s what you want, Mouse. You don’t have to say anything for me to notice the looks you give other parents in the park, or the kids who meet their mums and dads in the school playground. I can see how much you want that, and not just for Teds. But for you too.”

I swallowed thickly, feeling all too seen suddenly.

Finn squeezed my hand, forcing me to meet his gaze once more. I hadn’t even realised I had shied away. “Does he do that? Does he give you that hope?”

The inside of my cheek had practically been bitten raw these last few days, but it didn’t stop me from chewing on it again as I looked over at Finn with a watery stare. “I think so.”

With a slow, albeit fond, tilt of his head, Finn hauled an arm over my shoulder to crowd me into his side. The two of us huddled in close on his artsy sofa that would look so out of place anywhere else.

I smiled at the thought.

“If he means that much to you, then I’ll make up for what I did. What I said.” Finn reassured me, his voice quiet in the large expanse of his loft. I hadn’t actually expected it to go this way. “But I do want to know. I want to make sure that he knows that he’s not just getting you out of this, that Teddy isn’t a deal breaker here. That he’s grown enough to understand the implications and repercussions of his life and whatever the fuck goes on with it. That he is clean-”

I opened my mouth, guard jumping right back up. But Finn just tucked my head under his chin, hand gripping at my shoulder enough to keep me there with him.

“Sobriety is hard. I understand that. When it finally comes to light that he actually is with you, that means Teddy too, and it’ll be a fucking mess. I want to make sure that he won’t fuck up and throw it all away the second shit gets hard.”

Inhaling, I could only nod. I knew what he meant, it was something I had thought about an awful lot. Too much in fact, I’d worried enough over it that I was still so wary over whether or not to broach the topic with Matty himself. But I hoped, for the first time in a long while.

And that had to be enough for now.

–

Finn’s had been an emotional affair, but not a place I’d lingered too long after our initial apology. We both still needed some time to process and to lick over our wounds.

I’d been more than thankful for it though, it had been a real weight off of my shoulders in truth, because knowing that there was a chance to move on past it without having to pick and choose, or divide my time, was something I hadn’t really held out hope for.

I was a pessimist at heart.

But that being said, I’d been quite optimistic about Teddy’s few hours spent with Matty- alone. Which should’ve been daunting in retrospect, insane even, and had probably once been, but Matty had quickly come to prove himself not only to me, but to Teddy too. So although I’d been cautious, I hadn’t necessarily been quick to stamp out the idea. 

The last little excursion the pair had been on without me had gone down a treat, with Teddy having been tuckered out and fast asleep the second he’d gotten into bed, and Matty having bonded further with him somehow.

Then there had been the whole ‘I love you’ mess.

And God, if anyone would’ve told me that I’d have been the one to say it first I would have laughed in their face. Cackled loudly enough to be heard three streets over and on the very urge of wetting myself. But then exactly that had happened.

The words had been lingering in the corners of my mind for a few weeks before last night. Tittering, almost. Having started popping up around Christmas time, with the unannounced gift giving ceremony we’d shared and the incredible bond Matty seemed to have formed with my son. And had then settled in not long after that demo I’d received and the midnight visit where Matty had turned up at my doorstep in a downpour. 

I hadn’t loved.

Not really.

I’d loved people, friends and family. Sure.

But someone to keep? Someone that I could call mine?

No, that had never really felt like much of an option for me. And Matty… he’d sort of come out of nowhere, hadn’t he? This mess of a man, but so very wonderful in his own way. He had really crept up on me, and looking back it almost felt as though it was bound to happen. Us, I meant. It felt strange to imagine it any differently.

Messages now

I’m here! Come get me, it’s freezing!!

It didn’t take long before his telltale pop of curls emerged from the main entrance to the same studio I had found him perched outside of during the aftermath of the big mishap with Finn. It almost felt like coming full circle with our decision to have me meet the pair of them here after just having talked with Finn.

Matty’s grin was infectious as we moved to meet one another in a quiet hello, his arms catching themselves around my middle whilst I buried my face into the curve of his shoulder. 

He was warm, that was my first thought even as he pressed a chaste kiss to my head, enough so that I didn’t mind the fact that he kept me tucked up under his arm as he pulled away to lead us back inside the building.

“You get here okay?” Matty asked me once the door had rattled shut behind us, his voice travelling in the sparse lobby like area I’d yet to get acquainted with.

Humming, I answered his question with a nod, “Yeah, walked most of it, Finn had a client call out of the blue.”

Matty’s cheeks hollowed a tad but he hummed too before tilting his head over to the right, we started to walk that way. “It go alright then?”

I let go of a heavy breath, eyes surveying every inch of the studio as we wandered further inside, “As well as it could have, I ’spose. It’ll take time, I reckon, though he wants to make it up to you, too.”

Matty appeared to blink at that, the words seemed to have caught him by surprise, but he didn’t falter in his wandering, leading me down a narrow walkway.

“Are you up for that?” I pushed.

He wet his lower lip in thought, dipping his head at a maintenance worker who passed us by before looking back at me. “Told you, I’d give him a little leeway. But I wanna know more about what you spoke about first. If that’s alright with you.”

I was nodding away before he could even tack that last bit on, “Of course, I wouldn’t think not to, in truth.”

I was gifted a sweet smile and quick peck to the cheek before Matty paused, his hand catching on the handle to a heavy door. Soundlessly we slipped past it, Matty closing it slowly behind us to stop it from banging against its hinges and alerting the rest of the room’s occupants to our sudden arrival. Not that it would’ve been all that easy a task, what with the noise that consumed you the second you entered.

Matty smirked at the look that must’ve crossed my face at the sound before he held a finger to his lips, signalling me to keep quiet. I rolled my eyes but took the hand he held out towards me, the two of us creeping over to the corner that gave way to the real chaos that greeted us beyond.

First thing I took notice of was the loudmouth four year old who had seemingly taken charge of the band’s rehearsal, a sight which had me biting my lip to muffle my sudden hysteria. 

George was seated by a stretched desk full of slides and buttons, elbows rested on the tops of his thighs whilst he listened animatedly to Teddy’s thoughts on whatever he had Ross and Hann tinkering about with. 

The latter two were just holding onto their instruments, Ross stood with his bass and nodding along to what strings Teddy pointed at, whilst Hann was told to ‘look happier’. Something Matty had immediately snorted at, endlessly amused by Adam being told to liven up by a kid who’d only been out of nappies for a little over a year and a half.

The snort seemed to catch George’s attention though because his head shot over at the sound, which in turn forced the rest of the room to follow.

I heard Teddy’s gasp before he came bounding over, wearing a pair of sunglasses that probably cost more than my monthly rent. 

“Alright, lovie?” I laughed, swiping up an excited Teddy before he could barrel straight into my legs. “You been having a good time?”

Teddy’s enthusiastic nod was enough to assure me of that but then Ross spoke up, “Should hope so, been hounding me to get this bassline right for ages, ain't you, mate?” He smiled at the giant grin he received in turn before nodding over towards me, “He’s got a proper good ear though. Should get him into it soon, especially if he likes it.”

Blinking, I could only look back down at Teddy, who was now informing Matty on everything he’d missed out on in the sparse moments he’d been gone in a tangent like ramble. 

George sniffed as he made to walk on over to us which forced me to glance up again. Hann had started to take off his guitar strap whilst Ross went back to fiddling with his strings once more. Seeingly wanting to get whatever he was working on down before he had to leave for the day.

“He’s a good kid.” George commented to me, watching on as Teddy reached out to be taken by Matty, the man not even second guessing the motion of catching the boy under his arms and settling him on his hip. “And Ross ain’t wrong either. He seemed to really enjoy himself, had him messing about with the console for a bit and Matty even got him to play a couple chords on the guitar for us.” He chuckled lowly, a soft sort of smile breaking up his typically stoic features.

“Hope he wasn’t too much for you guys, Matty reckoned you’d all be alright with him tagging along but I didn’t even think to double check.” I mentioned, eyes caught on the way Teddy was now so enthralled by the story he was telling both Matty and Hann, arms stretched out wide as he exaggerated something or other.

George was shaking his head when I glanced back at him, “It was nice. Having him here, but seeing Matt with him too.” George’s mouth thinned when he lifted a hand to tug on his ear, “I didn’t think he could be like that. It’s strange, him letting someone else hog the limelight whilst he’s sat on the outskirts.”

We both shared a fond chuckle, because I could see what he meant but also, “He’s taken to Teddy better than I expected, really. It’s something I’m most thankful for, as well as the fact that Teddy seems to really like him too.”

My smile was warm, I could tell, and when George caught a glimpse of it I got to watch him almost mimic the gesture, as though he was thankful for it all too.

“You’re good for him.”

My breath caught a little at that, but I kept on smiling as I peered over at Teddy and Matty who were giggling between themselves whilst Hann, and now Ross, had seemingly taken to shaking their heads at the pair in indulging amusement.

“He’s good for me.”

…

The walk home from the studio had been spent hand in hand. The three of us just padding along the narrowing pavement, Matty more often than not trailing alongside the curb so that we could keep it up.

Teddy seemed to enjoy it though, even more so when Matty and I had started up a game with him, lifting him up off his feet so that he could swing back and forth in midair for a few brief moments.

By the time we’d made it home we were all just content to find something to eat and curl up in front of the tele, me listening to Teddy tell me all about his day with Matty whilst Matty pulled my feet into his lap.

He put Teddy to bed not long after, upon the boy’s sleepy request, and had returned about fifteen minutes later, having read a story and bundled Teddy up under his duvet covers. It had been then that I’d gotten to tell Matty more about the conversation I’d had with Finn, rehashing his words and even delving a little deeper into my past with him.

“How long have you known him again?” Matty asked me, thumb trailing back and forth over the jut of my knee whilst the tv played on low.

“Only since the first year of uni.”

Matty appeared quite surprised by that, he said so too. “Seems like longer.” I grinned tiredly at his musings, eyes squinting with it as I leant further into his side.

“It does a lot of the time, but sometimes it doesn't. Wasn’t lucky enough to have been gifted a group of bandits and made to start a band.” I teased, not unkindly, appreciating the way his hand travelled up to run his fingers through my hair. I peered up at him, “They’re all so lovely, you know.”

He answered me with an airy titter, the sound soft enough not to echo out of the living room and down the hall to where Teddy slept, “You’ve never been on tour with them, sweetheart.”

I laughed then too. “Maybe, but Teddy likes them. And I like them too.”

“I’m glad.” Matty whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. When he pulled away, I moved to capture his hand in my own. “You have anyone like that?”

I shook my head minutely, not wanting him to disturb his position, “No, wasn’t in school long enough to make any lasting friendships and then I guess when you reach a certain age it always feels a little harder.”

A quiet swept over us then and I took the time to simply admire the few tattoos Matty's forearms held; the passport number, the box, the postcode on his inner elbow.

“Was that because of what happened?”

His voice was cautious, which was unusual for Matty and more than likely the cause which had me peering up at him, rather than his ask that had gone and broken our peaceful bout of silence. 

My nose wrinkled, “What, with my scars?”

Matty gave a soft hum of assent, watching me from under a careful gaze, obviously anxious not to overstep or force my hand on the matter. I smiled at his care and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah, it shook me a lot. I mean, I spent weeks in hospital and then after that, I was on strict bed rest whilst at home.” I explained to him, fingertips trailing over the faint grooves in his palm. “I was homeschooled for a long time too and when I did finally go back, well most of my class didn’t much care for me beyond the horror story they’d been told. It grew old quickly enough though, but even so it was hard to connect with people beyond the basic level.”

Matty’s thumb had begun to trail over the skin of my wrist, settling once or twice on my pulse point before going back to stroking again. “What did happen? I mean, only if you’re alright with saying anything about it, I know sometimes shit can still be hard.”

I breathed out an airy chuckle, turning my head to hide my enamoured smile in the wrinkle of his jumper. “I don’t mind. I don’t like mentioning it with strangers much, which is why it’s not really public knowledge unless you go digging. But it was a car accident.”

I felt Matty tense beneath me but his touch didn’t stray, only became that bit bolder, the hand in my hair coaxing me to glance up at him so that he could kiss me sweetly, nose nudging at the curve of my cheek before withdrawing. I hummed happily.

“My dad was with the local police. High up, but a drinker. Only started though after this one case, and then it spiralled. My mam worked night shifts sometimes at the hospital, which was a good way away from where we lived, so it would just be him and me until she got home.” 

I took a breath, realising it had been quite sometime since I’d actually spoken about the crash, or even thought of it really. The scars were a constant reminder, yes, but the crash itself was something that had occurred almost two decades ago now, so I’d had time to sort of come to terms with it. As much as I could. 

Not to say that it still didn’t wear at me, it had been a big event in my life, changed things in more ways than one. Because it had also been the spark which had sent my dad packing.

“It’d been raining that night, I remember ‘cause the water had been leaking in from under the backdoor. My dad had sworn up a fucking storm when he’d noticed it but could only really stick a couple towels down, claiming that he’d fix it on his next day off.” 

A light chuckle escaped me at the vivid memory my mind made up, his tall figure, the odd phrasings he would use, but nothing of real substance. I couldn’t quite recall his face, or the depth of his voice, seeing as I hadn’t looked over old videos or photos we had since I’d visited mum back home.

“It had been a bad storm, had the tides reaching the cliff peaks if I remember rightly. Which meant that the hospital had started to flood, at least the north ward where mam had worked.” I continued, enjoying the delicate caress of Matty’s thumb as it trailed up my arm, “She’d been sent home after they’d managed to move most of the patients on the ground floor westward, but her car broke down about a mile out.”

I could hear the call even now, the sound of my dad’s heavy footsteps when he’d come to wrap me up in a coat, murmuring that we had to go and pick her up.

“The winds picked up, I guess. Dad didn’t have a car seat, that was what we used mam’s car for. So he just sat me in the front seat before setting off.” 

Matty’s touch faltered slightly, probably having suspected where I was headed with this before it picked up once again. “The rain was relentless and we weren’t too far from the shore so it almost felt as though it was just thick sludge falling from the sky. It was hard to see past the first metre or so.”

I swallowed, noting how the light from the tv screen stretched out across the floor and flickered each time a scene changed. 

“Our town wasn’t huge, but it was big enough to warrant a couple T-junctions and the odd roundabout. There was a fourway, just up past the old baptist church, a road mostly used for when you were coming off the main motorway or headed out towards the airport. Dad had been drinking, you could smell it on him some days, but at night it was always stronger. He blew through it, the traffic light teetering on amber before it finally turned red.”

Staring blankly out across the living room, I could almost picture it. The downpour which had clouded the windscreen, the old dash of my dad’s car, the familiar scent of his preferred brand of tobacco.

I licked at my lower lip, mouth suddenly dry. “A van had been crossing. On the passenger side.” I added quietly, appreciating the grip of Matty’s hand as I carried on, “All I really remember after that are headlights and the blare of a horn. Woke up a couple days later, having missed my seventh birthday and my dad nowhere to be seen.”

I huffed a small chuckle, reaching up to rub at my eyes before turning to face Matty. I wasn’t quite prepared for the wet gaze I’d been met with or the single tear that had seemingly escaped and come to a pause on the bridge of his upper lip.

I lifted a hand up to wipe it away, smiling when he kissed the pad of my thumb.

“You’re incredible, you know that.”

I’d been called many things, but I don’t think incredible was one of them.

I leaned in to kiss him, wanting nothing more than the feel of having him close, even if that meant tasting the salt of his tears or enduring that careful way he held my face. It was everything I had needed then.

–

After the little moment I had shared with Matty the previous night, I’d gone to bed feeling a little more drained that usual, but I’d put it down to the exhausting day I’d had and the fact that Matty’d had to head home so that he could do a skype interview early the next morning.

I’d almost been tempted to say that he could do it here in the flat, but with Teddy you could never tell when the kid would be coming or going, so it was safer for Matty to stick to his typical routine.

But I’d woken up all sniffly and foggy headed the next morning. The pounding at the base of my skull had forced me up out of bed in search of painkillers, as well as the fact that it had just gone ten, which meant that Teds was already up and mulling about.

I took a couple of nurofen I had tucked away in the medicine cupboard with a glass of water and figured I’d be better getting a move on with my day than heading back to bed. I knew that Matty would be popping round sooner or later too, so I attempted to sort through a load of washing that desperately needed to be done as well as tidy away the mess we’d created last night.

Teddy had helped himself to a banana from the fruit bowl at some point but was already asking for breakfast by the time I’d stuck the washing machine on- unaware of how close to crying I’d been after I’d gone and dropped a wad of detergent on the floor.

Even so, I’d set to start on a pot of porridge, knowing he would enjoy it with either some jam or spread, but I was surprised when I heard the front door rattle shut not long later, having not heard a knock nor Teddy answer it. I went to scold him, frowning at the fact that he thought he could just answer the door to anyone when Matty appeared with a few Tesco bags in hand.

“I knocked on the window, so he saw me before he let me in,” Matty was quick to rush out, grinning down at Teddy who had since spotted his breakfast and made a dive for it. “Figured I’d grab some stuff before stopping in, knew you mentioned feeling crap last night before I left so..”

He shrugged, moving over towards the kitchen before I could even think up a reply, a little bewildered by the fact that anyone would have the foresight, let alone the sincerity to do something like this for me.

“Matty.” I breathed out, so utterly warmed by the gesture as I followed after him, “You didn’t have to.”

Matty rolled his eyes at me, settling the bags down on the counter, “Shut up, you idiot. Just let me feel like an adult for once, yeah?”

I laughed, unable to help myself, even as he gestured for me to take a seat at the table, claiming I looked a little warm and confirming it when he pressed his hand to my rosy cheeks. 

“Do you ever stop?” He questioned around an exasperated smile, settling some basic cold medicines down as well as a few sweet treats. “Washing machine’s already going, the kid’s been fed, floor seems to have been swept too. How’ve you not dropped?”

I rolled my eyes at his ever growing eccentrics, though was still wearing a rather pleased smile. It was nice, I deemed, having someone look after me for once.

“I can’t stop, babe, got things to do, a tiny person to look after!”

Matty just shook his head at that, obviously not too happy with my retort, “Guess we’re just gonna have a lazy day then, yeah? Got snacks, popcorn even. Reckon Teds will enjoy it. I can even take him out to the park for a bit, just to let him run off some of that energy.”

I blinked at the maddening man stood before me. Wondering what I’d done to deserve all of the things he'd done for me. And without having even been asked.

“Haven’t you got stuff to do?” I queried, content to simply watch him unpack the shopping he’d bought.

Matty shrugged a single shoulder, wrapping up a carrier bag and tucking it into the stash I kept hidden beneath the sink. “Nothing important.”

“The interview went alright then?”

He hummed, putting a couple tins of soup away in a cupboard just above his head. “Yeah, fine. Hann did it with me, other guy was in Paris or some other, I think. Definitely French though.” His phone sounded then, but it seemed he’d left it in the pocket of his jacket which he’d gone and thrown over the back of a chair upon walking in. “Look at that for me, would you?” He asked, peering down at a carton of something or other, probably pondering over whether or not it went in the fridge.

I was only a little surprised by his request, but did so anyway, trying to find the phone in one of his many deep pockets. “Definitely French?” I prompted, smirking smugly over at him before my fingers finally found the device. “You sound so certain, Healy. Almost as though you’ve been taking notes on the French dialect, or something like it.”

Chuckling to himself, Matty flashed me a big smile from over his shoulder before turning away with a wink. “The French are fit, baby.”

I laughed lightly with a halfhearted shake of my head, then peered down at his phone, “Password?”

“0709.” He told me, and so with a slight pinch in odd wonderment I typed it in.

“Why that?” I couldn’t help but ask, only glancing up again when I heard the shuffle of his feet. I raised a single eyebrow. “What, is it like the death of your guinea pig or something?”

Matty’s face pitched itself into a hearty grimace that made me cackle. “My guinea pig? Who the fuck owns a guinea pig?” He shook his head at me, deciding it wasn’t worth the effort and instead said, “It’s the date we met.”

My eyes widened considerably. “Actually?”

With a light huff, he turned back to putting things away, “Thing gets lost or nicked more times than not, so I’m always changing my passwords. Figured I’d remember that one.”

“Matty!” I all but awed, honestly feeling the love. “You can be such a sap sometimes, you know that. The day we met!”

I received a glare in retort but I simply laughed at him before turning to look down at the message he’d just received. My forehead furrowed.

“You said you had nothing going on today!” I was quick to accuse, eyes flashing up to meet his somewhat startled face, “George’s party is tonight!”

Matty’s mouth formed a little ‘o’ before he merely shrugged, “G will get over it if I can’t make it. You need me here more, and besides, his birthday isn't even for a couple more days. They’re only throwin’ it tonight so that most people can make it.”

I looked heavenwards, hoping that the second pause would give me a little bit of strength. Did it fuck. “Matty, you’re not staying here with us when George, your best mate might I add, is out celebrating his birthday! He’ll want you there.”

“Squeaks, you’re sick. He’ll underst-”

I shook my head, “No, you’re going. I’ve got a little cold, nothing that’s gonna kill me. What will kill me though is you not going to be with G on his special day.”

Matty narrowed his eyes a tad, “Don’t guilt trip me.”

My next bout of laughter couldn’t be helped. “I’m not!”

With a scoff, Matty turned to put the carton he’d held in the side door of the fridge, shaking his head as though I was the one being outlandish. “It’s fine, alright?” He said once he’d spun back around, “I’d much prefer being here anyway.”

My head dropped to the side as I looked up at him, “Babe, please go. It would honestly mean a lot to me, but even more so to George. You know, who’s birthday it is. Go on. Please?”

Matty sighed and ended up dropping himself into the opposing chair, I slid his phone on over to him. “What about you though, and Teddy?” He asked and it was sweet, how much he cared. 

“We’ll be fine.” I assured him, reaching out to take his hand, “The party isn’t til later anyway, so how about we stick with your lazy day idea and then when you need to start heading out, I can just pop Teds in the bath and get him ready for bed.” When Matty still didn’t seem too keen on the idea, I squeezed his hand a tad and added, “You can even head back here after if you want.”

He perked up at that, but was still a little resistant to the whole idea of leaving.

“I promise we’ll be fine, love.”

And oh, did I wish that had been the truth.

[controlmyfeet]

i still feel everything when you are near - matty healy

matty healy x ex!reader

angst

warnings: exes, alcohol consumption, insecurities, jealousy (kinda?), pining, kissing, crying (lmk if there’s more i need to add!)

a/n: not sure about this. i think the last time i tried to write fanfiction i was 13, so feedback is appreciated but pls be nice lol. also, english is not my first language!

3570 words

it still hurts. 

i didn't think it would hurt as much after 6 months, but seeing him in the flesh makes me realize it does. i thought i was already used to it, thought i was actually doing a good job moving on, if we ignore my slump in the first 3 weeks after the breakup, where i would just leave the house for work and groceries (that i would overbuy because i forgot i'd just cook for myself), i think i was doing pretty okay.

i should've guessed he would be in the city. he can't stay in one place for too long; if he has a few days free in between shows, he's going to look for a studio to work in. usually in london, los angeles, or here. most of the time, he ends up here.

but i never know where he is anymore.

i deleted twitter from my phone after 2 months. maybe because of the questions, perhaps because i didn't care, or maybe i was tired of reading all the tabloids and fearing they were true. maybe i care too much. whatever, right? it just means i haven't seen him in a while, even in pictures.

i'm sitting by the dark wooden bar counter when i first spot him. he's standing with charli and george in the vip section near the dj booth, surrounded by people as always. my friends noticed that he's here too, but they haven't said anything, which i'm grateful for. i'd rather pretend it doesn't affect me.

he looks different, though. his arms are bigger, and his hair is longer; soft curls fall over big brown eyes that crinkle whenever george says something funny. he still has that boyish smile.

lulu and bea went dancing and i said i'd join them in a minute. we go to this club every time we're in the city, but tonight it is more crowded than usual. my secluded spot at the bar being the only place i won't be pushed around. still, i feel bad. it's my best friend's birthday, and we came to new york together to celebrate, but instead, i'm drowning my sorrows with cosmos. 

"you won't even say hi now?" i hear matty's voice from behind me and turn around, startled. he stands tall and confident as always, but his eyes no longer hold the same energy. here, up close, i can see that his eyebags look more prominent, and his stubble has grown slightly. he looks tired. i don't think i look any better.

"hi," i say, looking into his brown orbs, phlegmatic, as if the butterflies in my stomach aren't going batshit crazy right now "i didn't see you, sorry."

he grins cheekily, "it's alright, darling."

i don't really know what to say. he should hate me, honestly. it wouldn't be surprising considering how we left things, with all the yelling, name calling. with all the broken picture frames. it started with another rumor while he was on tour, another leaked picture. he was so dismissive and vague about it that i just couldn't find it in myself to trust him, and he could only complain about how childish all of it was.

i guess he doesn't, though. they have free drinks inside the vip section. i remember it from when we came here together. he doesn't need to come all the way to the bar for a drink.

"it-it's good to see you," i stutter, apprehensive now. fearing that maybe he really does hate me, and just walked over to tell me how much so. i mean, i would hate him, too, if i could. but no matter how hard i try, i can't. and believe me, i've tried.

matty is standing so close that the loud music sounds muffled now, and the warm, dim light of the bar reflecting on his silky skin makes me want to melt into his arms. so i try to keep my eyes focused on my feet.

he seems to notice that i'm struggling as i fidget with my empty glass.

"can i get you another one?" he asks amicably. my eyes shift from my feet to the glass in my hands and back to his eyes.

"sure," i reply shyly.

he asks a bartender polishing wine glasses next to us for another cosmopolitan. behind the man, shelves from the same material as the counter hold a collection of glass bottles of different colors with labels sporting french and italian names. matty sits on the barstool beside mine. "so…what are you doing here in new york? i thought you hated the city this time of the year." 

and it's true, i hate new york during the summer. the concrete buildings seem to make the temperature much higher, and tourists crowd every corner. it feels claustrophobic. the subway also smells extra bad during these months. but i loved being here with him, no matter the season. i loved being anywhere with him.

"well, yeah. but it's lulu's birthday, and she wanted to celebrate it here, so here we are. the three of us." 

"bea is here too?"

"she is, yeah."

him talking about my friends is familiar. many sunday evenings were spent on his couch sharing a bottle of red with my newest candle burning on the side. at the same time, i'd tell him about the most recent gossip in my friend group, and he would listen.

the barman places the new drink before me and takes the empty glass. i thank him and take a sip of the pink liquid. it's sweet and sour, and the vodka calms my nerves a little bit. he's staring at my lips. so i lick them clean.

he shifts, and suddenly, i feel his calloused fingertips brush against my elbow resting comfortably over the counter. much more tender than last time; my skin burns where he touches it.

"how's your writing going?" he asks, looking into my eyes now.

i tell him i'm still at the magazine, it's going alright. not a lot has changed since we broke up. but it's less exciting, more monotonous. i leave that part out. and he asks me about my own stuff, poems and essays hidden in my drafts.

it's just awkward small talk. so awkward. like we're just acquaintances. friends of friends being left alone, being civil to each other.

it's also a conversation we've had before. documents on my computer that weren't fitting enough for the editors or that i just wrote on a whim. he used to tell me to publish them either way, to leave the magazine and find people who actually appreciate my work, or to start my own thing. but it would be useless; they're not good enough.

"well, i don't know, it's been a while since i've written anything out of work." i take another sip, just to calm down a little. "haven't felt very inspired lately." 

oh my god, shut up– i can't say this to my ex. it's embarrassing, pitiful.

"it happens." he takes my hand and brushes his thumb over my knuckles. i still shiver "you're really talented, love. you should be proud of yourself. i am."

even his praise hurts now; i miss hearing it daily. it's a stab in my chest, salt on the wound. so i just bite my lip and nod. afraid that if i say something, a choked sob will come out. 

there's longing in his eyes, and he gets a look like he wants to say more. but his gaze flickers behind me for a moment, and he drops my hand and gives my left shoulder a squeeze, showing me a soft smile. 

"i'll leave you be, then. it was nice seeing you, love."

there's a voice in the back of my head begging me to make him stay, but i know i can't do that, not when i recall why it ended the way it did. still, i want to reach for his hand and pull him back to me, just for a few minutes at least. but someone grips my shoulders.

"there you are!" lulu says excitedly, already a few drinks ahead of me. her dark blonde hair messy and her skin glimmering with sweat from all the dancing. bea follows right behind her. "c'mon, let's do some shots, you need to power up for all the dancing you owe me."

"alright." i force a giggle and down my drink as bea asks the bartender for three tequila shots.

a few minutes and many shots later, the three of us are on the dance floor, swaying wildly to the loud, thumping bass of whatever music the dj's playing. just being around my girls makes me feel less anxious, and the flashing lights, plus all the alcohol already flowing through my body are making my mind a bit hazy, which helps me let loose a little. 

as i move, i can feel the beat of the music inside my chest, sweaty bodies pushing against me without a care. i even forget about matty for a minute. i don't think about how his hands used to feel on me when we danced together, not at all.

we dance for maybe 30 minutes. until lulu finds one of her many ex-flings, and, as they catch up, bea asks me to go to the bathroom with her. taking my hand, she leads me out of the crowded area and towards the door labeled "ladies' room". 

the contrast from the mostly dark club to the bathroom's white walls makes my eyes squint. it's colder in here, quieter. i can hear the stifled bass from the music and high heels clicking against the floor tiles.

as i wait for bea, i brace myself on the sink in front of me and look into the mirror. everything is happening too fast. talking to matty, downing shots, and being dragged to the dance floor immediately. my head is pounding. i didn't have the time to process what is going on tonight. 

my ears are ringing, and it feels like all the alcohol has suddenly lost all its effect. instantly sobering up, i grab a paper towel and dab it on my arms and face to try to get rid of the sweat. turning on the sink, i wet my hands and place them on the back of my neck to cool down and try to help with the dizziness. i hear the toilet flush, and bea comes out of the cubicle, running her hands through her wavy black hair. i reach into my purse and pull out my lipgloss, coating my lips evenly while looking at myself in the mirror.

"i'm going to the back for a bit," i tell bea as she approaches the sink next to me.

"you okay? do you need water?" she asks, concerned

"yea- yes, i just need to breathe a little."

"okay, text me if you need anything." i just nod and leave the bathroom. she knows me, knows i need to be alone.

pushing through crowded bodies, i head to the club's back door, leading to a narrow alleyway where the employees usually store extra liquor bottles. it also doubles as a smoking area, so i shouldn't be surprised when i see him as soon as i open the door. tattooed arms flexing as he lights a cigarette, probably not his first one of the night, and i turn back to try to leave before he sees me.

"leaving so soon?" i turn around again and already feel my cheeks heating up. embarrassed, like a kid caught eating dessert before dinner. "you can stay."

"it's okay, i'll go somewhere else," i wave him off mindlessly. he came here to enjoy his cig on his own, right? he doesn't need his ex-girlfriend plaguing his chill alone time "i don't want to bother you, i just need some air."

"please stay." it's not the first time he says this, but this time i do. 

with pink-tinged cheeks and heels clicking loudly, i slowly walk down the three small steps in front of the door and move to stand across him with my back resting against the club's brick wall. the warm summer air hits my skin, and i can hear the rustle of the traffic. "you could never bother me." i pretend i didn't hear him.

"i thought you were quitting," i motion to the burning cigarette between his fingers. the moonlight illuminated the alleyway, making the smoke around him look like some kind of silver aura. he smiles at me.

"i'm trying," he says, taking a drag and blowing it out by the side of his mouth, and i laugh.

"it sure looks like it," i reply, still smiling. i'm not as nervous as i expected i would be in this situation; maybe the alcohol hasn't worn off as much as i thought.

he shrugs, running a hand through his hair. "well, you know me".

my eyes follow his every movement, long, calloused fingers holding the rolled paper limply and bringing it up to his red, pouty lips. i start to fidget with the end of my skirt, trying to distract myself by looking at how my fingers twist the fabric. busying myself, so i don't remember how those same lips used to feel against my own or on the curve between my neck and shoulder. 

i look up again when i hear matty step on his cigarette– putting it out– and he starts to walk in my direction. my breath hitches. we are face to face now, noses almost touching. closer than we were at the bar. i can see every freckle on his face when he's this close. i can see the chapped corner of his mouth and the grey that's starting to show up on his now tousled hair.

"why did you leave?" he's straight to the point. his voice comes out low, almost a whisper. at our position, there's no need to be louder than that. there's no hatred in his tone; still, he's not smiling. a flash of hurt appears on his face for a moment. "didn't i make you happy?"

"of course you did, matty." i build the courage to look into his eyes, honey pouring out of them. "we've already talked about this."

he lifts his right hand to rest it on the wall beside my head while letting out a scoff. "but i don't get it," his tone is a little bit louder now. he's not aggressive, but he's not whispering anymore. "what happened?"

"it was for the best." i've stopped whispering too. i place my hands on my forehead. as if to avert the impending headache that will follow this conversation. i don't really know what happened either or when it started happening. i feel sweat droplets running down my hairline, not sure if it's from the summer heat, our closeness, or my disquietude. 

"for the best of who?" he questions, lifting an eyebrow, "i don't feel any better!"

"we were fighting all the time, you know this!" there's a lump in my throat, and i can already feel the pressure between my eyes, working hard so the tears don't fall. i lower my voice again. "it was only a matter of time until one of us left, i just left first."

his gaze softens– probably after seeing my flooding waterline– and it's a while before he talks again, as if he's gathering his thoughts. thinking before he speaks for once, "i could never leave you" it's a low, gravely whisper, and i probably wouldn't have heard it if we weren't this close. "i wish you'd stayed." 

it's a blow to my chest. like a gunshot, blood running down my ribcage. and for a second, i don't think i can breathe.

"i wish you'd done a lot of things, matty." my vision is blurry now, and i feel a single tear roll down my right cheek. i wish he would answer my calls when he stayed late at the studio. i wish he would listen to me when i said i felt neglected. i wish he would give me more security when i felt jealous of the girls partying with him and the boys while i was on the other side of the pond. i wish i stayed. when i can't sleep because i suddenly realize that my bed is too cold, too empty. when i wake up, and there are no kisses on my bare shoulder. when i have to climb over my kitchen counter to reach the can of pasta sauce on the top shelf. when i'm so anxious, and there's no one to hold me… "sometimes i wish i stayed too." 

slowly, his hands cup my jaw. long fingers run lightly across my skin and wipe the lonely tear on my face. the hairs on my neck straighten up, and my heart stirs, beating a little faster. he carefully traces his right thumb over my lower lip, giving me time to reject and push him away. and then, his soft lips lock on mine. no warning. i feel his stubble rub against my chin and let out a sigh. there's a flutter on my lower stomach, burning. i should have pushed him away. instead, my fingers trail up his neck, nails brushing against his skin, and finally into his hair as he coaxes his hot tongue into my mouth. he tastes like cigarettes, of course. i can also taste the rum and lime from the mojito he had earlier. one of his hands travels down and he pulls me by the waist, bodies touching fully now. matty groans into my liquored mouth and i preen; it's good to know i still have that effect on him. that i can still make him let out those pretty sounds with just a kiss. it might be selfish, but we both are. because i bet he's proud too, that every touch of his still sends shivers down my spine. i pull out for air first, lungs already starting to burn. my fingers are still buried in his curls as he rests his forehead on mine, both breathing heavily.

"i need you, love," he whispers against my kiss-swollen lips, voice cracking. there's a smudge of lipgloss on the side of his mouth. it was no use reapplying it.

"matty, i can't," my voice comes out weak, just like how i feel.

"why not? you got somebody?" matty frowns, starting to sound a bit agitated.

i shake my head lightly "i don't."

"what is it?"  

"i already told you" it's my turn to cup his face now, scuff prickling against my palms. "we already had this fight before, you get annoyed because i can't trust you, and i start yelling because you don't take me seriously!"

"of course i take you seriously!" he defends, already becoming increasingly exasperated. i just shake my head; there's no use going through this all over again. it hurt enough the first time. however, i still close my eyes, knowing that if i keep looking at him, the chances of me believing him are higher.

"i'm not built for this, matty," for being away from him, for time zones and phone calls, for pretty girls throwing themselves all over him "i'm not strong enough."

"look at me, baby." his hands moved from my waist up to cup my face again, thumb brushing lightly over my cheekbones. "please," i open my eyes.

"do you love me?" he asks. i realize his eyes are glossed over now "because i love you. so fucking much."

it will be easier if i say no, break his heart all at once. give him a reason to give up. it takes me a while, but i nod.

"yeah?" there's a glimmer of hope on his wet iris.

"i do, but-"

"then we'll figure it out" it's not that simple; just figuring it out is not enough. we hurt each other.

"we'll just end up in the same place, matty," i explain firmly. at this point, tears stream both of our faces. his chest heaves, and i try to contain another sob. he turns his face slightly to press his lips to my palm, just for a second. 

"stay with me, please." our noses touch, and i can no longer distinguish his tears from mine. "i'll do better, i swear."

"it's not going to work."

"just for tonight at least, please," it comes out ragged, and he grazes his lips on mine, leaving a gentle but salty peck. "just for a little bit."

this shouldn't be happening. it's a mess, all of it. no matter how hard or how many times we try, even if we start all over again, we'll just end up in the same place. i know how i am and how he is. our love is tainted, a ticking bomb. so no matter how much i love him, how much i want him, i know we'll just go back to those screaming matches and broken pictures.

but if we keep doing this again and again, maybe then we won't have to say goodbye. at least i won't have to spend an entire lifetime missing him. so maybe just one night won't hurt, right? i've done it a million times. staying for just a little bit won't hurt…i think.

okay, just for a little bit.