#maybe ill make a blog for it specifically..
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cent-scratchnsniff · 3 months ago
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doodles and stuff. struggled with painting until i gave up
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#i GUESS? carmen and ayins face is a whole thing and stuff.#oh wait hello silly first life stuff. yeah that counts. tee hee?#angela and benjamin are technically there but theyre kinda small compaired to the rest of the drawings in inclusion so im not sure..#ill do angela since she isnt covered#angela lobcorp#carmen lobcorp#ayin lobcorp#netzach lobcorp#it mustve been so prominent. the feelings of affection. those memories of ayin smiling so gently and warmly to her. to Carmen. than angela.#for it to be the very first thing brought up. the very first thing to actually recall from the copy of Her brain. a warmth she would never#be able to see upon that face. a warmth she knows and can recall but never for Her. a man who adored carmen to have such a face shown to he#that now cannot even bare to look at what isnt her what could never be her yet depending on a creation he loathes#for its similarities. for being close to him. for not Being Carmen enough. for being a bastardization of what once was. holding#justifications and trying to convince the self in order to continue forward. its just a machine. a machine must behave as a machine#how miserable. how trapping. how stuck and desperate. ever inflicting cycle of pain. anyways PLATONIC GIOCARMEN!! 🔥🔥#i canot speak upon ayin for there isnt enough room. GIOVANNI!! wanted to draw some interactions w them.#there was a scrapped doodle of carmen talking abt pain levels for beaking bones with a smile on her face while pointing to his body#bc day 48 and decidedly factually stating things with a smile as if it wasnt even personal. even if it is distressing#women in stem 🔥 have her bring over diagrams for him to have as reference. gio helping skim and find pages for specific quotes or a section#to bookmark. just happy at her glee and determination. carmen is holding up a clipboard w a diagram from the red book by carl jung but its#really small and hard to tell what it is. tee hee. there is more rambles but nay. i shant. twas for fun in between stuff#ever constant fear of misconstrued words. prithee. accept my offerings.....#spoke abt them before. i think? so content inside her warmth and joy. alive at her pride. feeling a part of him ripped away at her listless#expression. erased vanished faded from the world back to the murky color of gray further when she left the world. its so. ahngbh.#ill make a rb after this comes out and i wake up on the side blog nieranddear of just more rambles on it all that couldnt fit here#lor spoilers#... maybe. maybe on the rambles. if i dont get embarrassed and dip out of fear. whatever. go my queued post
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wackywatchdotcom · 2 months ago
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realizing just how LONG its been since ive posted a ragatha comic. i need to do that again its been too long despite the fact that i think most of my best work wrt tadc has been my ragatha stuff...
hey wait wtf i posted this and tumblr deleted like the last 12 tags. what the hell . that sucks. maybe i hit tag limit and it just didnt tell me or stop me from adding more tags...
#thinking on it its probably that ragatha is the character i relate to the most that is the reason for this...#i like to hope i write the other characters just fine but w ragatha i think its like#not just like a pomni sort of fondness and obsesssion w her writing and depiction . (and also intense romantic feelings towards)#i mean that all applies to howo i feel abt ragatha too. but w ragatha theres also a like . i Get her#more personally than i am with pomni#like ive said it before for sure but i like pomni the most but i relate to ragatha the most...#so i think when i draw her its like#shes not like SUPER close to me but shes close enough that i feel like i Get Her#points at her. ocd ptsd and a very specific type of issue i wont get into. I Get You#(this happened w one too... if anyone is familiar w that show that i keep mentioning like a phantom that haunts this blog LOL#my fav was liam . but i related deeply w amelia who read very heavily as ocd ptsd. to me. and the other specific issue.#i have a type with characters i like you see)#but YEAH#i play around a lot but i think the ragatha kinger one page comic i did is what im proudest of still...#and maybe date night but waves hand#not to try to recreate success or Whats Worked really. more that i just really enjoy it and i like to write dialogue#and to try to convey as much humanity i can in the characters and that style of things lends itself well to that#...and truthfully i still sometimes fantasize about making comics Properly and it feels like good prqactice...#<- you can see one of the sillier reasons i relate to gangle HAHA#but yeah also i loooove to try to write like. mundane interactions in a way that gets across smth abt characters.. its fun#i particularly enjoy trying to convey trageedy without being tooooo overt about it#which is hard. but fun!#i think someone could probably tell by looking thru my blog that i like when things are either silly or like#tragics not the right word. i mean i like to convey tragedy too i suppose. but i like when things can be hopeful and kinda tragic#at the same time. i like that sorta thing. its fun to me...#that bad things have happened but ppl can still make it. but also they may make it but those bad things are irreversible. etc#i do like sweet things but particularly if theyre deeply boring too at least a little.... i like characters having unimportant conversation#but yeah these tags are long and i feel like im losing the plot a little whoops. im really tired ill prob sleep in a minute here#whateverrrrrrr. point is that i should REALLY get around to finally finishing a comic i sketched out like months ago#.. i ALSO need to finish 2.5 requests!!! i cannot forget those
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tildeath-douspart · 3 months ago
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I wonder if they think of me
#the way i think of them#every time i can't sleep theyre the only people i want to message or call or just.. hear from#every time something awful happens lately they're some of the only people i can think of that just... thinking about them cheers me up.#whenever something good or silly or fun or important or really pleasant or weird happens.. i want to tell them first and hear their#excited or happy or sweet or dumbfounded responses#when its late and im alone... i want to listen to their snoring... or feel my head against his chest but for longer than a hug this time#ive begun to be scared that im so full of love it physically repells my partners. i want to be good for them so bad that im rancid in#some way.#i want to be there beside each of them so badly that they pull back... and when i give them space? they dont seem to reach out to me first#i feel like im.. so far down the list. maybe just because they know ill be there so they dont idk. care to check in?#they've told me before that if im doing badly they trust/assume that i would tell them#i cant even get a paying-attention response to the positive news i give sometimes... let alone. what i feel like is. my constant bad news#i want to be good. i want to be positive and hopeful and trusting and optemistic and patient#i feel like such a “maybe” or an “eventually”. i feel replacable and every way theyve tried to explain that im not its just...#them describing me as something sooo special im either too much. or that they think im too fragile or too explosive. or that they want#to meet someone else or more people who make them feel like i do. like im just a collectable trinket they can catch more of when they#dont want me specifically around but someone who does as much for them as i might. or can make them feel as loved as i honestly do love them#and they deserve that.#they deserve more than just me#they both do#i am disabled and im dramatic and im terrified of living this way and i feel so lonely whenever im in any company but theirs#because i either dont know how to interact well wifh others. or when i do get along with someone... it ends up gettin really scary for me#really quickly.#met nice friends? turns out they were mid-drug-relapse and want my help getting sober#met people i had stuff in common with in adult only spaces?? turns out they were lying about half of the details about themselves to fit in#reconnected wifh kind old friends? one of them is belligerent and mean almost daily and they others arent comfortable being near that#open up to my family about my struggles? get told i should leave#ive vented before on this blog and others that tbh most of the time my main reason for not doing really impulsive bad things to/for myself#is my fiancé. he's my best friend and my motivation and my love and my family... and now i have a seocnd partner as well and I#feel similarly and really strongly about them as well
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mrmeepsmadmind · 6 months ago
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i'm very interested in creating a multi - muse tf rp blog & was wondering if there were any suggestions you guys might have on who to follow? pls don't @ anyone actually though, as i don't wish to disturb !!! i have experiencing writing literate roleplay, but just never on tumblr, so i'm very new to the who's & whatnots!! i'm mainly interested in the idea of you guys asking some of my favs stuff though that i could maybe even draw responses to! (mainly like faces, i'm a bit too fearful on the quality of my art to draw elaborate poses & such, haha 💧) anyhow, if you guys have any suggestions on who to folllw, feel free to let me know 🩵
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livingdeaddoctor · 3 months ago
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would that knowing the thoughts were irrational would Make Them Go Away!!!!
#medic's log#because i value some degree of privacy tumblr will not receive the full context#but i had a friend cancel plans i was really looking forward to#for reasons that are extremely very fair and honestly it's for the best that she Did#since i think going through with them would have put undue stress on her mental health. if not also Mine#but goddamn if it's not making me feel like absolute garbage#there's only so many ways (one. maybe two) that she can say 'i promise it's not personal' before i become the problem. el em ay oh.#and like. i Know this is me. i know this is the horrific confluence of too little sleep#and forgot to take my meds for two days#and the flavor of mental illness that makes any kind of rejection a Stab To The Heart#and the inability to handle plans changing#but also. that does not stop The Catastrophizing#the ability to reschedule these particular plans is. potentially nonexistent and i'm in my feelings about it#i know this literally isn't the case but by god does it feel like i'm being passed up as a second choice for someone more preferable#both friends involved in this have told me Multiple Times they value me in their lives and yet the little voice goes#'ohohoho you fool they are just saying that to be Polite'#never mind that both of them are so well known (in general and by me specifically) for laying down very specific boundaries without shame#so if they didn't want me around they'd fucking tell me#but also i super do not know how to broach with both of them 'hi this is a thing i'd like to do at some point' without sounding#so fucking Needy.#idk. shit sucks.#shit could suck infinitely worse but that doesn't stop the rock in my house Being There Loudly#i think i need to sleep and then SING LOUDSTYLE in the car for a bit#and then text both of them and reestablish a line of communication outside of The Plans#to make my brain go 'hey fuckwad i promise these two people actually like you'#at this point i'm basically normal but i'm trying to parse all the feelings so they don't hit a boiling point. Later.#it's whatever. i'm drinking a ginger beer and scrolling. shit could be worser#godspeed tumblr thank you for listening to my woes.#also probably a good sign that i haven't made one of these types of posts on this blog in. awhile#less good sign that i'm making one now but. you know lmao
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sketchy-tour · 2 years ago
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A silly thing to randomly say maybe but I was thinking about it again. Yall are always free to take silly inspiration from my artstyle/the way I draw. I feel like trying to imitate cool things you see others do in art is a big part of the process in learning how you like to create and do things. So ye, if you ever feel bad for taking some light inspo off of my art aesthetics, don't! As long as you're not outright tracing or reposting, I really don't mind!
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fruitsoxs · 2 years ago
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Okay okay- for those of you who know of the game, who is your favorite romance option in bg3? I'm trying to decide who I want to romance on my second playthrough-
I really like all the characters so far so I'm not sure what to do haha
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bunnakit · 2 years ago
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i feel all your posts about papang on such a deep spiritual level here's hoping he finally gets the main role he DESERVES 🕯️🙏🕯️
Aaahh thank you!! I've collected so many Papang loves today this is so wonderful 😭💜
MANIFESTING THAT MAIN ROLE FOR HIM SO HARD pls GMMTV ill make all the gifs I promise
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kiethko · 2 years ago
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ramble in my tags
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tiredthing-idk · 2 months ago
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BORED
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jimingyue · 1 year ago
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Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
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🖋️ meowful-musings Follow
🕊️ birdwatching Follow
what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine
💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204
op wheres the natural feeding option
🌲 outdoorsy Follow
you guys are getting fed?
#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look
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☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!
☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3
🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow
as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3
#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....
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🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right
❤️ loving-paws284 Follow
um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...
🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow
OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD
🐟 tunafeesh Follow
also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly
🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks
anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse
#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now
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🍃 naturalliving Follow
BORN TO DIE
WORLD IS A FUCK
猫神 Kill Em All 1989
I am trash cat
410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS
#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly
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🎣 salmonpurina Follow
can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther
#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks
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💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!
🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow
evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever
💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
make your own pawst
💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721
umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...
👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow
Nyaverage shelter cat behavior
#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up
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🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo
💡 discourse-meows Follow
hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks
🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
1. i was making. a joak
2. i'm literally gay???
#literally what's your pawblem
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🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
i know you fuckers are lying
🍭 gaykittens Follow
this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
shut the heull up
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🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise
🐁 ladymouser Follow
op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control
🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us
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helloidkwhatimdoing-0 · 1 year ago
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Prev post abt the villain reveal but its adelaide and harper in one of their many universes
This drastically halts the whole 'falling in love' thing until harper falls in love with adelaide ANYWAY bc thats just the sort of thing she would totally act like she was above and then would absolutely do
And then harper gets her memories back and has to work out how to tell adelaide abt this, meanwhile adelaide is also starting to fall in love (shes very in denial abt it) and keeps getting these weird? Flashbacks? Dreams? About that fucking bitch Harper???? What??? "Oh."
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luvsavos · 1 year ago
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hmm. i am once again contemplating trying tumblr rp again.....
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j-femmescoli · 2 years ago
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my third sleepless night in a week becasue of anxiety attacks and i find that tumblr has blocked #anxiety because ..??? like i get blocking things like EDs because people can put triggering things in those tags but i don’t see what could really go wrong in a tag about anxiety what would you put in there other than help and resources???
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danyasblogsblog · 6 months ago
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FIVE MONTHS SIMON RILEY
warnings : cheating, mentions of sex, lotsss of angst and yelling. implied reader is a female. toxic relationship
- simon riley is cheating on reader, over and over again, when they are just wishing for his love back.
ps. guyss if u like keegan p. russ smut read my last blog!! love u guys 💕
part 2 is not coming
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being simon riley’s girlfriend in the beginning was a dream come true- it was all you ever dreamed of. a strong man who matched your personality and made you feel whole. first 4 months was perfect, going out together, meeting his friends and getting close with them, the most amazing dates and sleepovers at eachother’s apartments. it was a dream come true.
but once 5 months hit, something changed in him. he was out late after work. he wasnt home after deployments on the day he was supposed to come back. he went out late on the weekends you longed to be in his arms. he was cold and distant. why?
you knew he had been cheating. gaz told you- he was rubbing up against some other girl at a party and kissing her- practically shoving his tongue down her throat. and his idiotic ass posted it on his private story. it was like he wasnt even considerate about your feelings, not even trying to hide it.
everyone told you to leave him. even simon’s closest friends told you too- you were loyal, kind and so caring. he use to be the same, but now hes cold, carless and seemed pissed everytime he saw you.
7 times. he cheated 7 times. every time he did, you could feel more of your heart cracking like porcelain. tears spilled from your eyes everytime you got a message from gaz, or soap or random girls you barely knew. ‘simon is cheating again’. you got used to be message, but the ache in your heart burned more every time it happened.
simon didnt know why he did it- you were perfect for him. you made him feel right in everyway, your personality, your appearance and your love for him was everything he ever wanted. he just had to be a jerk. someone awful towards you, even though you treated him with love.
the 8th time was different. you had been having a hard week- work was tough, and one of your friends was really ill. all you wanted every day of the week was the come home and sit in simon’s arms, but he was never there. you just got the notification ‘ill be home tomorrow’. you knew what he was doing, and he knew you knew.
this specific saturday, after months of dealing with the heartache of having your boyfriend cheat on you so often, you snapped. you came to simon’s apartment tired- your feet aching so badly. ‘simon?’ you called out, praying he would be home. you were greeted with silence- all the lights in the house off. you sighed, tears already prickling in your eyes. you checked your phone- notifications from your friends, apps, but not simon. maybe he got tied up at work? you opened your contacts and called him, listening to the phone ring.
you looked at the profile picture you had his contact saved as, your first date as boyfriend/girlfriend. an unforgettable experience. even though you two were just getting to know eachother as a couple, that day felt different. you cooked for him, and you opened up to eachother over a bowl of macaroni and cheese. he said he felt safe with you. his words from that day echoed in your head as the vibrations from your phone ringing him made your hand shake. what happened to your sweet boy?
the phone line connected, and you put it on speaker- not bothered to press it against your ear. ‘simon? hello?’
you could hear grunts in the background, your heart cracked. a female voice answered the phone. your heart shattered. ‘oh… you’re his girlfriend, right?’ the girl snickered. ‘simon, its your girlfriend!!’ you heard her talking to him down the line, making sarcastic jokes about how you were calling him when he was having fun with her. ‘give me the phone, come on.’ you heard him say, although his voice was slightly incoherent due to his distance from the phone.
you hung up the call. the world went black and white. the silence around you rung in your ears. your heart thumped against your chest, the hot tears rolling down your cheeks. you couldn’t do anything but cry.
cry because you thought it would change. cry because you thought he would change.
the phone rang, simon’s name lighting up the screen. your back slid down the wall, your hand over your chest. your breathing got thick, and your nose filled with snot. more tears poked out of your eyes, and your eardrums felt like they were going to explode. god- you were such a dumbass. sitting around, thinking he’d stop his shit.
your hands covered your face, trying to hide your tears from the world around you. you couldnt do this. not for a 9th time. a 10th time. 11th. 12th. it was the worst. you had never felt worse.
he was the worst.
you just wished simon was with you, letting you cry in his arms. you thought, if you loved him enough he would stop. he’s not stopped. you wanted to stop loving him- but you knew you couldnt. god, simon, please stop it. stopitstopitstopitstopit.
you heard the front door unlock, and you remembered you were still in simon’s house. he ran over to you, his eyes full of concern. you looked up at him, apologies running out his mouth. he kneeled down to you, trying to get you to talk to him. ‘please talk to me, y/n. please, please im so sorry lovie m so sorry’ simon’s usually gruff voice was filled with concern. ‘talk to me darlin’ please im sorry’.
your tears of sadness became tears of anger. you tried so hard. you tried to be the best for him. you tried so hard. but he didnt care. he went out, and cheated. he went out, fucking other girls for 5 minutes of pleasure while you were at home, cooking for him. caring for him.
you stared up into his dark eyes that were filled with sorrow and regret. you stood up, backing away from him. ‘where are you going? y/n? talk to me, please.’ he followed you around his apartment as you took your purse and coat, looking around for your wallet and keys aswell. ‘y/n, please. im sorry. im so sorry lovie give me another chance.’ you stopped. ‘give you another chance?’ you said, staring at him with disbelief.
‘i gave you so many chances. you knew i knew. everyone told me to leave you, everyone told me about what was happening. but i thought you would change. i thought you would go back to how you used to be. i miss you, simon and i love you so much but why. why- how could you do this to me..’
tears uncontrollably fell from your eyes, and your knees felt as if they were giving out. you walked away from him, frantically looking for your keys and wallet. you needed to get out of here. away from him. he grabbed your wrist and turned you around the look at him.
‘i can’t convince you that im not a dickhead, baby but please. please im sorry- i cant explain it but i just-’
‘why don’t you love me anymore?’ you yelled, your anger practically radiating off as heat. (in the most love quinn style way btw, youre my bff if you understand)
‘why did you cheat on me? why did you ruin us, simon? you treat me as if i dont have feelings.’ ‘it was just a bit of fun, please lovie. i cant loose you, darlin’
you saw your keys and wallet on an end table. simon went around, following you with his half-assed apologies. you snatched the necessities up, and the feeling of finding them was a true relief. you turned and glared at simon, stopping his babbling- something you werent even listening too anymore.
‘we’re over.’
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visckera · 1 year ago
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good GOD I am so angry.
I, as my bio suggests, am a minor. I am also asexual. And feeling quite dysphoric about all the adults in my life telling me ‘I wouldn’t know until I’ve tried it.’ But that’s a different topic.
I needed a little boost for myself so I looked at the asexual tag here on tumblr, so I’d feel less alone.
There are always thirst traps and other things of that kind on any popular tag. But I saw so many, on the asexual tag, that I actually cried, ripping my skin off as I did so.
There will always be people that abuse the tag system, I know. Tagging your posts with trending tags to make them more likely to show up on people’s dashes is a corporate tactic. But to see so many of these ads, I can barely call them posts, on the asexual tag, made me physically ill.
Asexuality is often overlooked by not just cishets but the LGBTQ+ community so often. To see that a safe space for positivity for such a overlooked community was being vandalised for the sake of marketing makes me so angry and so upset for myself and all the other people who fit under the umbrella of asexuality or aromantic who just want to feel like they belong.
I’m a relatively new blog, but I know how tumblr works. I know how the world works. The way the world is run means that we are all victims, and I thought that maybe society, that damned, twisted thing, could let us have a little corner to protect ourselves.
All it does is hurt. it hurts, and it hurts, and it hurts. Companies aren’t going to get new customers by ripping apart supposed safe spaces, and young asexual kids like myself aren’t going to get any validation or even feeling of home from seeing thirst traps targeted toward our community.
our community that is SPECIFICALLY DEFINED BY FEELING DIFFERENT OR NO SEXUAL ATTRACTION TO WHAT IS DEEMED ‘NORMAL’.
it’s targeted. I can tell. And I am by no means an expert, but this tag abuse is hurting everyone. And no one is doing a thing about it.
please boost this. Reblog, like, whatever. This is damaging people far more than you think, and it needs to be resolved.
thanks for hearing me
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