#me haha’ LOL. OOPS. 😑
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hot prof was talking about how he wears a tie every day because he’s so casual otherwise. god you’re such a creep I NEED YOU
#he also caught me talking abt him and laughed at me BFNSMFNSMCNSM#I was saying like ‘yeah on my first paper for him i made an 80. he wrote a note about how he thought i was a bright student and didn’t hate#me haha’ LOL. OOPS. 😑#lee speaks#🔥❣️
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Kiss and Makeup | LN4 smau
lando norris x reader
summary: you are lando norris's makeup artist
fc: isabela merced
yourusername added to their story

caption: my face after waking up at 4 am to do ppl’s makeup
yourusername
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yourusername my life recently
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yourbsf you’re GLOWING babe
mclaren check DMs!
mclaren added to their story

caption: New stuff coming soon🤭
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user1 oh wow he's so handsome
user2 OMG IM SO HAPPY
user3 YAY NEW LANDO CONTENT
mclaren
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mclaren Some new bags have been released with our partnership with Tumi, check them out below!
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user1 he's so—HJQHSJCHJW
user2 wow😋
user3 i want to bite him
user4 I NEED HIM SO BAD
user5 anything you say sweetheart😍
user6 #needthat
user7 i'll cook and clean the dishes just one chance plsss
yourusername
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yourusername it was nice doing something else! thanks for having me! @/mclaren
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yourbsf remember me when you're famous😔
user1 IM SO JEALOUS
mclaren thanks for joining us!
user2 how does one get this job
landonorris thanks for letting me look at all ur powders!
yourusername haha ofc, anytime!
user3 OMG LANDO COMMENTED
user4 lando commented what does this meannnnnnn
landonorris

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landonorris gearing up for the next race
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user1 P1 i see the vision
user2 i love that helmet
magui_corceiro good luck!
user3 letsssgoo
yourusername good luck!
landonorris thank you! ;)
user4 🤨
user5 ?????
yourusername
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yourusername anyway i also have a life
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yourbsf body is tea tho
yourbsf GORGEOUS
user1 face card never declines
user2 i fear you are serving
landonorris pretty
yourusername thank you😊
user3 OHHHHH
user4 RIZZ?????
user5 oh to have lando norris call me pretty
user6 guys is this the start of something new?
user7 alright chill out zac efron
GQ
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GQ Racing, gaming, and padel, hear all about Lando Norris in his interview here
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user1 WOWZA
user2 another photoshoot? please tell me y/n was his makeup artist
user3 ZOO WEE MAMA🥵
user4 lando has been feeding us lately
user5 i can't handle this anymore
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caption: bros messing up the makeup😐
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user1 IM SO JEALOUS
user2 soooo are yall dating or what?
landonorris oops?
landonorris
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landonorris that's more like it
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user1 LANDO NORRIS 2X GRAND PRIX WINNER
user2 absolute domination today
user3 congrats!!
yourusername invite me next time?
landonorris yes ma'am🫡
user4 WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNNN
user5 im sick of them
maxfewtrell put a shirt on mate
user6 no we don't mind😊
yourusername
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yourusername who is this diva????
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user1 HELP I LOVE HER
user2 my b pose is naaastyyy
user3 he's so handsome
landonorris it's not too late to delete
yourusername but what fun is that???
user4 🚢🚢🚢
user5 so so jealous
user6 is she just like his permanent makeup artist now lol?
yourusername yeah he kidnapped me
landonorris for legal reasons this is a joke😑
user7 OMG
tumitravel
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tumitravel Lando Norris for TUMI
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user1 ok i'll buy the bag
user2 does lando come with the bag???
user3 yn is one lucky girl
user4 love how y'all just assume their dating
user3 well yes
user5 HOLY MOLY
yourusername wow whoever did his makeup must be really good
landonorris meh shes okay
user6 stop i love them
lando.jpg
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user1 HELP WHOS CAT IS THAT
user2 who u making heart pizza with??🤨
user3 if i say what i wanna say they'll silence me
user3 they're so dating
user4 🤫
yourusername aw cute cat
landonorris thx :)
user5 let me just sit back and observe
user6 yesss lando.jpg revival finally
yourusername added to their story

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user1 where ya going?🙂
yourbsf gonna miss u when ur in singapore :(
user2 y'all so cute idec if you're dating or not
landonorris
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landonorris sing a pore
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user1 bruh
user2 hard launch on live tv goes crazy
user3 bro's just gonna ignore that EVERYONE saw that kiss
yourusername you can't keep a secret to save your life
landonorris oops🤭
yourusername you're lucky ur cute
user4 CONFIRMATION YES
user5 WAR IS OVER
user6 I WAS HERE
user7 okay but that was so fricking cute
yourusername
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yourusername muppet🙄
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user1 HELP
landonorris i said i was sorry pls
landonorris sorry again😁😁😁
landonorris where did you get these photos
user2 nahh that's crazy
user3 okay now i'm definitely jealous
user4 this is literally a wattpad story like wdym she's his makeup artist and now they're dating???
yourbsf i'd like to thank beyoncé
taglist: @evasmlp @partnerincrime0 @r0nnsblog @raizelchrysanderoctavius @daniiiboo @wisestarfishbouquet @noodleysalad @thatgirlwholikescars @jxnellat @blakebearsblog @angelluv444 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @etterdotexe @scopeiguess @noope306 @burning8wood @styl1shl1v @venusandstardust @daniellef89x @nzygftoji @laheykol06 @blodwyn4u @allthings-fandoms @woozarts @astroniii @lilorose25 @dejavuontrack @xxx-betty @wobblymug @m3ntally-unstable @armystay89 @sarakay-gvf @kar1nsworldx @velentine @rexit-mo @blodwyn4u @lammys-thinking @sam02009 @kaorisakamotofan @taylorsvogue13 @loveparkersblog @delicatetrashtree @hashmiya @noodleboyluke @crispysoup318 @kisssleeping @comicalivy @lilypat @superlegend216 @pakotrzl @heavy-vettel @ilivbullyingjeongin @theblueblub @bloodyymaryyy @stressed-cherry @da-writer @chemiru @ks001
add yourself to my taglist here!
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 x reader#lando norris x reader#smau#f1 imagine#lando norris smau#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#social media au#f1 social media au#mclaren#f1 x female reader
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Tuesday, January 30, 2024!
4:51am woke up and started ruminating on the past. Oops! Also I keep getting hot and sweaty with my sweatshirt on but it's comforting and I don't want to take it off. Eh fuck it like C said, the worst thing they can do is forfeit your loans right 😅 like it was all a dream oop. Just vibe you only have 12 weeks of class left omg can you imagine if this was actually the end of it??? That would be so crazy, maybe this is why all those ppl weren't smiling at the end of bachelor's 😂 hahaha
9:07pm I've been neglecting to clean the bathroom for a hella long time bc every time I thought about it, it was super overwhelming and there was a mold puddle behind the toilet from my crappy shower curtain that won't close, but I did it today and I just love days like this. And I went grocery shopping and I just love when life feels so much better than it did previously.
Went on a coffee date with a guy who primarily spoke Spanish and now he wants to take me on a second date?? Idrk why I would say no tbh haha but v interesting??
1:40am..... I'm gonna say it again, he's a cheating dick, and once a cheater always a cheater. And literally all the crazy ass shit he did to me, not cool. Yk my dad probably would've invited him to the beach with us, except he acted like a little bitch to my parents.... 😑 Not cool. Am I bitter? No it just feels fake AF but whatever, I'm like convinced he's a narcissist bc this shit has to be love bombing?? I stg or they all had some damn epiphany (the realization that everyone hates them except each other so they better learn to like each other 😂) why do I feel like that's hella accurate lol. Idk man bad/weird vibes still.
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Aha this kind of got away from me so it’s kind of long oops (like, long even for me 😬 yikes) good thing I learned how to put in cuts !!✂️
Let’s just shove this all under the rug haha
“Nothing smells quite like your food.”
This is the kind of strategic non-compliment compliment I would use when forced to give feedback* on something I didn’t enjoy tbh.
Along with stuff like
“u guys had such amazing energy during that performance”
“the colours really pop! It’s a bold look for a confident person”
Rating: 2 snakes in the grass 🐍🐍
*(ONLY when forced to make a comment tho, bc I may be a disingenuous snake, but I’m not a petty one… usually)
Game recognizes game😒. This snake has eyes on u Cole 👀🐍
“Quit buttering me up. I’m not a biscuit.
Me, forgetting that biscuits are like scones in the South: whoa, ok Paula Deen… I don’t usually butter my Oreos but u do u 🤷♀️
he jogs over to the stairs, taking two at a time
Ok I take back what I said before about not being petty bc this shit annoys me lol. Like unless someone is actually booking it, this is so unnecessary 😒 what are u going to do with that extra 5–10 seconds of ur life? Watch an ad on YouTube instead of skipping it? PLS
(I might also hate exercise and am envious of ppl that just voluntarily, of their own free will, choose to exert themselves lol)
Forgoing knocking as he enters
Wow this guy would be a great parent he’s already got the barging in part down pat!!
“This dress is pretty. Easy access.”
Chris Hansen: why don’t you have a seat
Is To Catch a Predator still a thing?
It’s just odd that you would wear this out, without letting me…you know no matter how I phrase this is gonna make me sound like the bad guy, so I’m stopping. You look beautiful
How to say what u want w/o actually saying it. and therefore not coming across as the “bad guy” while still being the “bad guy”
Rating: 4 snakes in the grass 🐍🐍🐍🐍
additional analysis: I’d say this is a medium risk, medium reward tactic. Can be hard to pull off if the target tends to over analyze.
I can get a bit jealous that people will be looking at what’s mine, right?”
So like, u cover up your car with a tarp when parked in public? And u put a big ass tent over your home too? Wouldn’t want ppl to look at ur “property” right and make u jealous right? 🙄
“And when I start running for sheriff, you won’t be able to go to Woody’s.”
I don’t understand what this means lmao. Woody’s is a bar/club that she’s going to? And she can’t go when he runs for sheriff bc…. his campaign platform is based on…. prohibition?
Alexa play,
to watch you desperately search for some relief
Girl, just take a couple
*this post is not sponsored by Big Pharma
his fingers roam through your folds
My brain for no reason: haha like that song
Me: ?????
My brain: the buffalo song
Me: ¿¿¿¿??!!
My brain: Alexa, play
literally 35 minutes later, after creating a harmonica/country themed playlist on Spotify (ft. Tom Petty, Bob Dylan and Neil Young)…
Me: this is why we never get shit done 😑
Your body rocking over him
Me: adds wagon wheel to the harmonica/country playlist
He had been doing you a favor. He took out his frustrations on other women, so he got to worship you
This insane PR spinning rn… goddamnit he’s going to be elected as sheriff isn’t he lol
Rating: 5 snakes in the grass 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
A blissful state of pleasure.
Me: adds Taylor Swift “State of Grace” to the playlist
“No. No, stop!” He makes it only an inch before you were scrambling off of him.
I’ve been watching like 4+ hours of soccer every day bc it’s WC season baybeeee and this just reminds me of when the flags go up, u hear the TWEEEET TWEEEEET and the commentators are immediately like OFFSIDE!!! OFFSIDE!! And then they freeze frame and draw a line on the screen showing like the toe of someone’s boot juuust a fraction over lmao 🤣
“My body was aroused. It doesn’t think. I do!
Me, about to launch into a 5k word essay about the mind/body dilemma and dualism/monism before remembering why only a handful of ppl choose to major in philosophy and how it’s not competitive at all to get into grad school: ….🤐
Refusing to let any tears fall
Me: adds teardrops on my guitar by tswift to playlist
“What’s just sex to you, is more than that to me. And even if it wasn’t, I said no sex before marriage. You were trying…you took…”
Ok well this seems like as good a time as any to insert my uncalled for opinion on this topic. 😅
Just upfront tho, my stance is like, don’t fucking agree to the respect the other persons boundary if
u don’t think u can follow through
U have no intention of following through and u think u will be able to convince them to change their minds
It’s like the thing where ppl say u should be in the same page about kids before u marry or w/e (RIP John Cena and Nikki Bella 😭). Don’t just agree so y’all can get hitched and then try to convince ur partner otherwise lol, bc that’s like a 10 snakes in the grass rating 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍.
So in this situation obvi Cole is in the wrong.
But this is my opinion on sex/no sex before marriage in general,
Honestly I get kind of personal so ⚠️skip this whole thing if u want it’s like not even related to the fic lol. I’ll put 3 apple emojis when it’s safe to read again.
First of all, I don’t even know why I’m giving my opinion bc
1.) I’m not into “marriage” as like, a legal status…go ahead and have a commitment ceremony and make whatever promises u want to each other and have a nice celebration, but I don’t think the “legality” of a marriage adds anything to the relationship.
On some level I understand it comes w certain tax benefits and whatever but yeah… if u think about the most important relationships in ur life, I feel like most of them don’t need to be legalized?
Like maybe the person who raised u isn’t ur bio parent or ur adopted parent but u still view them as such. And ur BFF? The Sam to ur Frodo? That that shit doesn’t need to be registered at city hall either
2.) most forms of physical touch repulse me so I’m not into sex either (in that I would not like to engage in that activity, but I think it’s super interesting to read about. Like how u can be a pacifist irl but super enjoy violent movies)
So I’m giving my opinion on 2 things I actively dislike and will never participate in lmao but hey, it’s the internet and I’m allowed to scream into the void 😤😤😤
I’m firmly in the “sex is whatever” camp in terms of attaching any kind of spiritual or emotional meaning to it. Obvi it can be a spiritual/emotional experience, but I don’t think those feelings are built into the act itself… it’s like meaning ppl attach on to it.
Like how lighting candles isn’t intrinsically ritualistic, but it can be if someone imbues the act with a certain intention.
So, tbh I don’t really understand the “no sex before marriage” thing, especially when it comes from an underlying religious belief Mormonism. (Not saying it’s invalid, just that I don’t understand it and also think it’s a lil weird bc if u are indoctrinated raised to be a certain religion from birth, ur never really offered an alternative belief system??)
But ya, ppl have their own way of doing things and I dig that. I just want to say tho, if it’s not based in religion, and just something ppl choose for themselves for whatever reason. It seems… unwise?
I get it if u just don’t want to have sex AT ALL. If u don’t like it, it’s ur right to set that boundary. But if u do plan on regularly having sex after marriage, it becomes kind of a mystery to me why u would wait…???
idk….from what I’ve seen happen w/ other ppl, sexual compatibility seems like a big part of overall relationship compatibility? Like y’all could have the same values, political views, film preferences etc. but if one partner has a high sex drive and the other person is closer to the asexual end of the spectrum… it ain’t gonna work unless u develop some kind of compromise.
Same with living together pre-marriage. Again, u could be intellectually and emotionally compatible, but if one person is like Marie Kondo and the other is like Smaug with his gold…. 😬
So I feel like if u really wanted to do a compatibility check u should try all that stuff? Unless y’all are both ok with like a big build up, a big blow up, and a big divorce?
The only thing I can kind of get is like if u wanted to test the other person’s self control for whatever reason - like u wanted them to prove their loyalty to u by abstaining.
I kind of understand bc I guess it comforting to know that ur partner values ur relationship for more than sex, but I feel like there are other ways to test loyalty/self control without impacting what is a big part of the relationship for many ppl?
Idk like, make them go without beer or coffee or college football for x amount of time. It might seem arbitrary, like “babe, why does my hobby of speed running super Mario levels have to do with our relationship?” But maybe u each choose a thing that the other abstains from to prove to that u are each other’s #1?
I’m bamboozled but what else is new hahah 😂😂
🍏🍎🍏
I got carried away, and I’m sorry. You just looked so pretty, and you were enjoying yourself, and I wasn’t thinking. All the blood had run to my dick because I just love you so much,
It’s the hypocrisy for me fam 👌
Bc at first he’s all “oh but ur body wanted it!!”
And she’s like, my body’s reactions are not necessarily indicative of my mental state! Correlation does not equal causation, bitch!
And he’s like pfffffft whatever
But then when HE gets put on the hot spot, he trots out the same goddamn argument like “ya my brain totally respects ur boundaries, my dick just got over excited! It wasn’t me, it was just my body’s reaction bc ily😇 “
Tbh… It’s actually kind of sad when characters with such good villain potential insist on playing the good guy role. (Not me acting like they control their own narrative lol)
Like sir, u could be the most scheming Machiavellian sheriff since idk, the evil sherif character in Robin Hood (who was honestly more of a henchman than anything), but instead u waste ur time trying to be some kind of Hallmark movie love interest. 😒Pls, just stay in ur lane and embrace the darkness.
Cole stands transfixed towards your wall, before he punches it quickly.
This is what I mean, instead of punching this inanimate wall, u could be laughing maniacally, punching some innocent restaurant owner that refuses to pay his monthly extortion “protection fee”.
That would be so much more interesting for everyone. Except the restaurant owner, but don’t worry, he’s recruited by the FBI and ends up wearing a wire to get some incriminating audio. Heck he’ll probably become the next mayor idk. People will vote for the guy that stomped out police corruption in the small town of [this town’s name]
you would have never left your bed looking like someone had sat on it
Meanwhile, my bed looks like a garage sale table piled with clothes, books, pillows, and various other objects 😬😬😬(my weighted blanket is not heavy enough so I need to stack this shit up to feel the calming pressure around me when I sleep. And yeah I could have probably got several weight led blankets but u know what? Hindsight is 20/20 or whatever they say)
His hand rubs over the indented wall, and he looks at his wife shaking his head
Gramps, Cole didn’t mean to do that. His body was the one that wanted to punch the wall, not his brain!! 🙄🙄🙄
Just do the texting,
Ok, even tho he said “the texting”, I guess these are some tech savvy seniors wow.
before you become the future sheriff’s housewife
Is no one else running??? Or is the other guy like, some Ted Cruz black hole of charisma??
Poppy throws herself into the booth, panting as she takes a drink of her cocktail
Ok so this is the “Woody’s” established which will be off limits when if she marries Cole? I still don’t get it 😫😫😫Do they check your marriage lisence before u go in to ensure it’s singles only inside or what
The married sheriff getting his dick wet out by the pitiful local club
Hey, I mean…. She doesn’t know what we know so that could be his wife in there. Maybe they are into exhibitionism or something lol 😂
and waits for the little whore to get out of the car.
Wait, I thought Cole was pretty tall ??
Also, idk if this is an unpopular/problematic opinion but I always feel like the person in the relationship is more in the wrong.
Actual piece of trash Coleslaw over here is the one who is supposed to be faithful - he’s the one that is breaking a promise.
This girl owes no loyalty to reader tbh (I mean, we can talk about sisterhood/basic human decency and stuff, but like in reality, I see her as a free agent)
So yeah, trash move to go after a guy that’s already in a relationship, but it takes two to tango right?
Idk… if I had a partner that cheated on me I wouldn’t be mad at the third party lol bc like, my former partner is the one that betrayed my trust, not some rando🤷♀️
Also why is he here? Does he not know this is the club his fiancée went to? The heck kind of shitty future sheriff is he? Like, I can excuse fictional police corruption, but I cannot excuse fictional police incompetence. (irl I can excuse neither and I’m actually allergic to pork so stay the heck away from me cops🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️) If u are a villain, u gotta being ur A game buddy.
“I don’t pick up prostitutes.”
So is prostitution legal here? Like, if that’s what he thinks she is… is he not going to be like hey ur arrested for soliciting or whatever?
(In Canada it’s actually like this… prostitution itself is not illegal, but purchasing services from a sex worker is lol. It’s this dumb “compromise” they made so the government can say “we are progressive! we aren’t making sex work illegal!” And at the same time it might as well be illegal if Johns can’t legally hire anyone😓)
“Where are you going?”
Ok ya. This dude would not be able to solve a crime if it happened right in front of his face tbh.
You fucking more than that whore, who knows your fucking engaged? What a twat, but you are the one in the damn relationship.
Ok wait so maybe my opinion is not unpopular??? Poppy laying down the truth here. PREACH🙌
I shouldn’t have done it. It was wrong, but I don’t cheat on her. I just…I was weak, and…”
Dude… say it, say the thing…. IT WAS JUST MY BODY THAT CHEATED!!! MY MIND DIDN’T 😂😂😂
“I would think that Poppy was getting a ticket
A ticket for what tho??? Unless u can get tickets for non-traffic related violations?
Not to humblebrag, but I have actually been arrested twice for petty stuff - not petty like, unimportant issues (greenpeace let’s goooo) but petty like, in terms of the classification of the “crime” haha. Anyway both times I didn’t get a ticket I got a warrant to appear in court.
Hope that you wouldn’t let his manipulation not get to you.
omg double negatives always trip me up I need help😓 like, do they cancel each other out like fractions or???
Ok “not get to you ” = u remain unaffected ?
this means she hopes that reader… doesn’t let his… lmao the struggle rn 😖😖😖
She hopes reader does not remain unaffected by his manipulation?? So… she hopes reader is affected… as in it affects reader enough to make her break off the engagement? 🥺
If you chose to stay with him, she couldn’t support the marriage. You deserved so much more than this idiot was offering you.
Yo, I’m actually conflicted here 😕 like, how do u differentiate brown “supporting the marriage” and “supporting the person”???
I guess…u say u disagree with their decision but u will be there for them to talk or whatever???
But hypothetically, let’s say reader decides to try and make it work, like they get married and go to therapy - the works.
If Poppy doesn’t support the marriage would she be in favour of the therapy or…?
Bc on one hand, if u don’t want to support the marriage u would be like, “honey this isn’t going to work no amount of couch time will fix it but u do u I guess”
But if she wanted to support reader shouldn’t she be like, “good on u for trying??? I’m cheering for y’all to make it work??”
(Lol @ me not knowing what “being supportive” entails. 😭)
The only difference was it was the woman that was cheating, and on a good man
Oooooooh is she getting a little Ashlee Simpson autobiographical here? Did something happen in her family? 😯
Poppy could find ten men that were worth more than Cole in this one horse town,
Dang, the man to horse ratio in this town is abysmal. Probably one of the lowest in the state tbh. Whoever is running for sheriff should like, address this issue for sure.
And if it was up to her, she would see Cole’s relationship with you go up in flames. Would love to get you out of here, and free from this town. There was more out there, and better people. All she could do was hope.
Low key hoping this is like a less toxic version of the Peach/Beck dynamic in “You” season one where they are best gal pals but Peach actually has heart eyes for Beck and that’s why she hates all the dudes Beck dates.
15 min later while I’m editing this comment… shit they are cousins nvm 😅
Oh ya here is the playlist I ended up making.
The best part is that I think I created a new genre of music: Countronica 😎
And yes I started writing this comment at 1:04 and it is currently 7pm but I took breaks and watched soccer in between ok.
A Little at a Time, Part 2
Summary: Cole goes to far, and someone catches him…
Pairings: Cole Turner X Reader
Rating: explicit
Warnings: language, fingering, groping, non con, manipulation, coercion, gaslighting, cheating, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 3.2K
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*dividers created by @firefly-graphics
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RNM s3ep1
“I reckon you look like me” ok partner
bruh all that work just for skin care stuff
wow so strong without touching? Isobel is so strong
ok engineer !!!
not the drugs
OH HELLO GREGORY
GregoryxMaria?
Liz you left him why would you want him back again LMAOOOOO pls
Gregory’s sexy car? wait does he know about aliens or ?
hm who died? Don’t tell me it’s max again…three deaths doesn’t work unless you’re Loki
not Michael fixing his hair before alex comes off the bus LOL whipped
ew Jesse statue ugly ass mf
NO but Forrest got here before and Michael saw man the heartbreak in his eyes
ROSA LOOKS HEALTHIER NOW SO PROUD OF HER
Maria’s problems rn…it’s giving Eren Yeager
ok alex an Forrest had a fun night at least
NOT THE SEX JOKE
UH WHAT THE FUCK FORREST
not the recruitment 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
aliens killed jfk? umbrella academy who
don’t go alex pls
Max looks like death HAHA NOT THIS SONG
I was like who the heck and then boom Kyle
I hate Wyatt long but a penis can be art if it’s done right
“art is gay” 🙄😑 why are you painting male genitals then hm Wyatt 🔄
lovely and Liz whooshes in to save max from death again? it’s getting a little old
ayo LIZ HA
uh about that Kyle
NO THIS IS SAD MAX
I’m terrified rn
Whew alex didn’t leave for deep sky
this guys pretty sweet but he looks like vaguely like max so Liz def has a type
Gregory left Maria a teddy 💔💔💔
MARIA THE DEAD ONE oop
BRO THIS BEARD IS SENDING ME also this cage looks p cool
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