#meant to be a tummy layer..... cursed to be a side layer ...

[mirkwood-trash]

I just wanna lay on my tummy without my boobs being uncomfortable is that tooo much to ask

[ebbing-terror]

🍐🪤

(Open rp??👀👀👀 Multiple threads/ responders welcome!)

!!!!

Okay, obviously that's a trap. She's not that stupid.

But...If she's careful it won't set off...

Lynn was hungry and the pear looked so soft and succulent waiting under the box. Her mouth watered imagining the sweet juice of her favorite fruit and ot drove the girl to creep closer. easing down to her knees, Lynn looked around the surrounding bushes and trees. This was put here for an animal, right? Well that's no good.

Must've been a pretty big animal judging by the size of the box- (conveniently large enough for Lynn.)- Was this trap meant for tanukis? Baby bears? Resentful emotions churned inside Lynn. Poachers should be killed. She should get Mahito and wait around for the hunter to make his rounds, it would be an easy catch- ironic justice.

She leaned down further and further untill her thighs were against her tummy, honed in on the prize. Lynn inched closer and reached for the pear but the moment she touched it the fruit tumbled down a slope leading deeper into the box. Cursing under her breath as the pear fell into the shadows Lynn had no choice but to shimmy underneath...Just a little...

Then a little more....

How far back did it go?! Ugh.

More of Lynn's body ventured deeper under the box until she was in all the way, crawling on her belly and elbows as her hand patted around in search of the pear. Finally she grabbed hold of the troublesome fruit and brought it to her mouth- biting it to hold as she began to carefully shuffle backwards.

Lynn peered over her shoulder, watching the stick that propped the box up and making sure not to knock it out of place.

-Click.-

Lynn's eyes widened, ears perking at the sound. her elbow had landed on some switch hidden under leaves. In that second a metal tab flicked up from under the stick and the box slammed down, shutting lynn in darkness.

"Fuck!!!" She cussed with a mouth full of pear. Oh well, the box couldn't be too heavy, right?

But it was. It was heavier than Lynn could've ever imagined. She pushed with her back and arms before she tried laying down and using her legs. She groaned and kicked in frustration, huffing at the increasing heat building underneath the box. Damn it!!!

Slumping against the box Lynn fished her phone out, only to realize she had no signal out here in the woods. Fuck. FUCK!!!

The girl took a bite of the pear, crossing her legs as she seethed in her situation. At least she had a snack and a good place to nap until Junpei or Mahito eventually came looking for her...Lynn held her cheek in her hand, already able to hear Junpei fussing over this. She'd never hear the end of it.

Hmph.

Once the pear was all ate up Lynn chewed on the stem and started digging around, looking for her own way out. Unfortunately for her there was a sheet of metal beneath a shallow layer of soil and foliage, thwarting any means of escape.

It's fine...It's fine!! Don't panic...You haven't been here long...Someone would come soon. Don't freak out.

Don't freak out.

'THWUMP'

Lynn abruptly slammed herself against a side of the crate but it didn't budge and all she got out of it was a sore shoulder so she plopped back, rubbing and squeezing the aching muscles. Who put this trap out here?! Lynn wanted them dead more than ever!!

Well, she was stuck...All she could do was sit, wait, and think about her life choices...

[tu-sugar-mami]

Tales of the side of the road: Day #1)

You're an overworked, sleep deprived, tired barista at a pretty strange coffee shop. You don't really complain, since the payment is good and you have a lot of free time, with the shop being pretty much empty and customers walking in only once in a while. The place is big, well equipped, somehow there's wifi, and you love doing what you do even if sometimes you wish you could go home. You could say the building is placed in the middle of nowhere, in a road connecting two barely populated and pretty hidden towns. The only other building anywhere in a few miles is the convenience store, an old and beaten up OxxO across the street, the cashier doesn't speak much though.

The owner is a bit... how to say it? Cryptic, to put it slightly, but that doesn't bother you at all, you barely see them, and now that you think of it perhaps the only time you spoke to them is when you were hired.

You've seen your fair share of weird stuff in three years of working here, and you even made friends with the local cult, although with a rocky start when they tried to sacrifice you to their deity. It turned out for the best, since you gained regulars that always came in with the freshest gossip. And yes, you may have gotten a small curse because of the first encounter, but hey, being occasionally possessed by a dark goddess do come handy when one of the diverse side effects is super strength and you have to lift heavy boxes of ingredients for the drinks. Because, let me tell you, the drinks you make are not regular stuff.

You specialize in a very complex form of beverages, with basic color code names, but with a flawless, delicious, magnificent taste. At least to those who are meant for.

You see, customers here are very unique, and many have tried to eat you several times before you made it clear that you were not on the menu. They learned to not underestimate your skills manouvering a broom.

Anyway, today is a specially slow day. Not even Gary —a cultist of the highest ranks, who loves his double shot 'blue' coffee— has passed by yet and you can't help but wonder what or who held him back. Though your inquiry doesn't last long, when you hear voices outside and the approach of hurried steps.

It's almost nightfall and it starts to get chilly when you get ready for yet another endless night shift. You find it odd that other people aside from Gary would swing by the shop at this hour, but well, it is your job to serve them after all, and so you tighten your apron and ready your notepad.

Like i've said before you've seen a lot of not so ordinary stuff, and when an uncommonly tall —and absolutely gorgeous— lady along with three younger, shorter women wearing at least 10 layers of cozy clothes walk in you're absolutely unfazed and instead welcome them with the brightest smile you can muster.

"Hi! Welcome to Itsy Bitchy Spider, home of the best coffee in all 24 miles around. What can i get for you today?" You say, bringing the women's attention to you.

The tall lady seems a little thrown off by your warm welcoming. Or by the weird name of the franchise, or perhaps because she wasn't expecting a fragile-looking human to be behind the counter, who knows, but she usher one of the younger girls —a brunette one, who wears a creepy but charming smile peeking from under a thick scarf— towards the counter and clears her throat. "Hello, yes, my daughter got into a little bit of a situation earlier and she has to clean herself up. We're on our way to a very important meeting and she has to be presentable."

It's only now when you notice that said daughter has bloodied clothes, and when she lifts her head you can see that there's blood dripping from her chin too. But again, not the weirdest.

"Sure ma'am," You say with a smile, wich has her giving you a curious look. "the bathroom is on that black door over there." You point and the girl goes on her way, almost skipping. Kind of adorable, you think, like a small child would be, except much older and dangerous. "So, is the cult holding a meeting? That'd explain why Gary hasn't come by." You say casually. The woman is about to answer when another uh, you suppose is a daughter too, suddenly points at the pastries countertop.

"What's that?" A redhead girl asks. She looks excited and genuinely curious about a colorful piece of a cake. You don't make them, and honestly you don't want to know what's in them, but you know they're suitable for any kind of customer that walks in, so you pull out a piece and arrange it on a plate, decorating it with red syrup, the red syrup.

"Try it, it's on the house." You wink at her while sliding the plate towards her and she looks at you like you just handed her a priceless jewel.

"Really?" She says, but is more a formality since she's already pulling the plate closer. "Look Bela! Look what i got!"

"No, Daniela you shouldn't eat that. Your tummy will hurt, you know this." The tall lady says as she grabs the plate and pull it out of Daniela's grasp, which is easy given her height. "We're sorry, but we can't take this. We have a very strict diet." She hands the plate back to you.

You smile and gently take the plate away, aware of the sad puppy eyes the redhead is giving you. You discreetly, almost as if it wasn't your intention, you put the plate within her reach and keep talking. You pretend not to notice when the girl sneakily grabs the plate and runs back to her sister to share her prize.

"Ma'am, i assure you it is perfectly safe. You're not from around here, are you? Well, let me get you acquainted with the place." Not wasting any time you quickly prepare a concoction of 'red' coffee and top it with regular whipped cream while the lady's gaze is fixed on every move. "Here, try this."

"Try what?" The dark haired girl has returned from the bathroom all freshened up and looks curiously to the tall glass you slide on the counter. "Oooh, that looks nice!"

"It is nice. It's one of the house's specials. We call it 'red coffee' though it's up to you discover if you like it."

"Cassandra, i don't think we should..." The lady seems hesitant, but when you rise the glass as close as you can to her face and she takes a whiff you can clearly see her pupils dilate. "What... is that?" She asks, breathless, as if she's just found something she craved for so long and didn't even know it.

You smirk, knowing that you guessed correctly about what would work on her. "Why don't you take a sip and find out?"

"Mother, i think you should give it a try." The blonde girl, the one who hadn't said a word since she first entered says. You notice that there's some cake frosting right on the corner of her smiling lips.

"Perhaps i should listen to you, Bela. Let's see, shall we?" The mother takes the glass from your hand, tiny in comparasion to hers, and she guides the brim of the cup to her red lips. She cautiously takes a sip and as soon as the liquid touches her tongue and she tastes, the drink is downed in seconds.

"So, what's the veredict? You like it?" You say as you put the lid on the last of another three cups of the same drink that you finished making while the cup on the lady's hand was being emptied, ready to hand over to the girls.

"It's exquisite..." She says, and you can see the awe on her face. "How?"

"Well, that's a secret, isn't it? You can come by whenever you like, we're open all day, every day." You look behind the four women and spot a grumpy looking man wearing sunglasses and a hat just outside in the parking lot. Odd when there's no sunlight to protect his eyes from, but you don't judge. "Looks like someone is looking for you." You point past them to the guy.

And sure enough:

"Alcina! Where the fuck are you? Miranda is waiting for us, we're late!"

The annoyed expression on the lady's —Alcina, now you know— face almost make you laugh, but you don't want to be disrespectful and instead you just cough a little. "Looks like we have to part ways." She says, putting the glass on the counter delicately. Her eyes are glued to your own and you can see fire in them. "For now."

The lady turns around and walks away with determination and elegance in her stride and behind her the daughters follow with the grace of young gazelles. One of them, the blonde girl turns her head enough to see you over her shoulder and waves goodbye. You wave back.

"Have a safe trip!" You say. Much, much later you'll call this 'day one', when Alcina first entered your life, but for now:

Alcina... The name feels sweet like honey in your mouth and you smile. You can't wait to see her again.

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@thejennystuttle here it is the first one i finished. I got carried away, srry. Hope u like it?

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If you love my work, buy me a coffee?

[lov3juyeon]

hyunjae soft smut

requested: hyunjae soft fluff smut where the reader just recovered from an injury/sickness so he goes gentle on you so he doesnt hurt you!

characters: hyunjae x reader (y/n)

words: 1.2k+ (wow rly didn’t expect it to be this long honestly....)

warnings: detailed smut!

a/n: hello to my first request!!! tysm for requesting 🖤 i hope yall enjoy this! currently in some hyunjae hard hours now haaahaaaaa

—

“are you sure baby? i really don’t want to hurt you” hyunjae caresses your face, cupping your cheeks while looking at you dearly.

“yes, i swear i’m almost fully recovered.” you urged, hand rubbing against his thigh.

he giggled, looking at how eager you were.

sensing his hesitation, you groaned, “oh come on, don’t tell me you want to pass on this?” you started to give little pecks from his jaw down to his neck. stopping at a spot and using your tongue to massage that area.

you looked up to see hyunjae closing his eyes and leaning his head back, mouth slightly opened.

you smirked, continuing to lightly suck on different areas on his neck.

he tapped your thigh, making you pull away reluctantly, staring deeply into each other’s eyes “there is never a day where i can resist you princess.”

laying you on the sofa, his arms trapped you both sides.

“i’ll go soft on you today okay? i don’t want to hurt my precious doll.”

“nooo just go like you always do please.” you begged looking up at him.

“not today, i’ll make it up to you ten times once you’re fully recovered okay, no bargaining. otherwise i’ll get off now.” he teased, finger tracing on your lips.

“okay okay fine just-“ crashing his lips onto yours, he shut you up with an eager kiss.

“just what princess?” there he was with his teasing tone again.

“just fuck me now please, i need you in me.” you rubbed your thighs together in anticipation.

he groaned at your words, “you always know how to make me crazy.” he bit your earlobe gently, before kissing his way down your neck.

“i just want to show you how precious you are to me, baby, you’re my beautiful angel. i want to kiss every inch of you.” he continued kissing along your collarbones, before removing your shirt.

unclipping your bra, he brought his fingers up to play with your nipples, making them hard with his touch.

you whimpered, eyes shutting at the intense feeling.

he brought his lips down to suck on one of them, tongue coming out to lick and play with them.

you moaned loudly at the feeling of his warm tongue playing with your nipples.

“i love how sensitive your tits are baby, just makes me want to work on them the whole day, wanna make you cum just with my mouth on them.”

groaning at his words, you arch your back, wanting that to happen.

“you’re so beautiful baby, i wish you could see how you look right now.”

he kissed down your stomach, before reaching your shorts.

he slowly unzips and pulls it down, careful not to accidentally hurt your injured foot.

he groaned,

“you’re so perfect angel.”

he lightly kissed on your underwear covering your slit, earning a light moan from you.

“h-hurry”

he chuckled against your pussy, before taking off the final layer and went straight for your clit.

he sucked harshly, making you grab his hair instinctively.

you loved his natural curly hair, even though he told you countless of times how much he hates it, and always covers it up with a beanie.

you never fail to remind him how that was a part of him that made you fall in love with him.

and now, those locks serve a great purpose for you, as you grab on tightly, never ending curses and moans leaving your mouth.

his tongue licked down your slit, and he continued to push his tongue further in.

you felt lightheaded with the immense pleasure, words left your mouth unknowingly. you weren’t thinking straight, just focused on the high you were chasing.

replacing his tongue with his fingers, he inserted two fingers in slowly, looking up at your face to see your reaction.

he pumped his fingers in and out while his thumb rubbed on your clit at a fast pace.

he loved how your face contorted in pleasure, and how your moans seem to only get louder and louder.

“you like that baby? does that feel good?”

“h-hyunjae” you cried out, hands gripping on whatever surface you could find.

“what a good girl, taking my fingers so well.” he pecked your lips.

“i-i’m gonna-“

“cum? you wanna cum princess?”

you nodded your head, while feeling like you wanted to scream.

“okay go ahead princess. cum for me.”

with his words, you reached your peak.

back arching high, you let out a high pitched scream.

“that’s a good girl, you’re doing so well baby.” he continued to rub your clit while helping to bring you down from your high.

finally calming down, he kissed your forehead,

“how are you feeling baby? is your foot okay? are you feeling any pain or discomfort?”

you shook your head, “no...i just want-”

“just want your cock in me” you said in between breaths.

he chuckled at your words, standing up to remove his jeans.

“you’ve been such a good girl, it’s time to give you what you want.” he leaned down to kiss you passionately.

pulling away, he leaned his forehead against yours, “tell me if it hurts or if i’m going too rough okay baby?”

you nodded.

pumping his cock a few times, he slowly aligned it along your pussy,

“i love you.” he whispered along your lips before guiding his cock to insert himself into you.

he groaned at how tight and slick your pussy was,

“fuck baby, you feel so good.”

his eyes shut in pleasure and his mouth was left hanging open.

finding a steady pace, he fucked you gently, trying his best not to lose all control.

you loved the feeling of fullness from his cock inside you.

grabbing onto his flexed biceps, whimpers and moans left your lips unconsciously.

“you’re doing so well baby, i always love how you feel around me. it’s like my cock was made just for you baby.”

you clenched around him.

“that’s right. you love hearing how my cock is only meant for you don’t you.” he chuckled.

looking at how fucked you look with the increasing moans, he knew you were about to reach your peak again.

bringing his hands to rub you clit in circles, he kissed your nipples again, sucking on them gently, trying to get you to your high.

“a-ah” your voice cracked at the final long scream you let out. a feeling so intense it made your scream silent.

“mm you did it again baby. always my good girl, aren’t you.”

with the feeling of your cum, he started to feel his high coming too.

he pulled out before giving a few pumps, and releasing his load on your tummy with a load groan and growl.

“ugh fuck that’s it. look at how much is coming baby.”

after coming down from the high, he cleaned up his load before taking a blanket, and joining you back on the sofa.

he pecked the tip of your nose,

“how are you feeling baby? does your feet hurt?”

you smiled sheepishly

“kind of...it was aching from a while ago...but i was too clouded to think about the pain.”

hyunjae gasped and pulled away from the mini cuddle session.

“y/l/n y/n!”

“why are you only telling me this now you little minx!” he pinched your cheeks, playfully glaring at you.

he immediately got up and started to massage the area where your cast just got removed a while ago.

you let out a giggle,

“you’re the best.”

[spacegaywritings]

Cursing into Emancipation - Chapter 2 (final)

It was not supposed to have a part two, to be fair but this is the last one.

Tags: swearwords, fainting, comedic drama

Summary: Casper learned a lot of new swearwords and confidence from Remus and now needs to implement his knowledge. He is about to meet with the other sides and practices his new skills before proudly performing them in front of his friends! Patton comes to tell him they started early, walking in on his odd exercise. Tumblr: 1. || ao3: 1 / 2 // all.

My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me   Story under the cut! @redyoghurtgirl

Casper carefully brushed through his light brown hair, heart-shaped irises following his movement in the refection of the bathroom mirror. He stood in front of the sink, mirror hanging above and smiling at him.

Confidence.

Tonight he would be with the light sides again and he would be with Logan too. Remus would not be around, after all Patton and Virgil did not agree to them interacting (Logan thinks it is ridiculous and for once, the pink side had to agree with the logical one). But could he really say “no” to anyone, let alone his friends?

The slightly furrowed brows above his eyes, the intense look in his carefully squinting orbs paired with the little bit of tightness around his mouth proved him right. He could see himself in the mirror, doubting look throwing itself back at him. He was not in the position to deny his friends anything. He.. he would never, he could not. He physically and mentally felt so .. wrong just thinking about it.

A part of him hardened, his hearts feeling heavy.

Remus told him to yell it out, to curse it away.

Attachment shook his head, letting every thought other than the memories of comfort he had collected with Remus leave his mind.

Focus on cursing. Curse. Swear. Curse yourself into confidence, into a riot. Stand up for yourself.

He reminded himself, repeating the words again and again to affirm himself. It was almost as if he needed to study for a test Logan would make for him because apparently sides needed studying too. At least according to Logan.

Well, maybe Patton too. A bit. Every side taught him a bit every now and then but Remus seemed to teach him the most useful stuff in the most fitting way for him to learn. It was fun and always helped him and it was not boring like maths or geography..

Casper closed his eyes.

“Fuck this”, he spoke softly.

A little tug could be felt in his heart as the words left his mouth. He could hear himself speak, he could experience the relief instantly.

Somehow, these words were the comforting pat on his shoulder he did not know he needed before this happened. This just proved how smart and precious Remus was to teach him these things.

It really helped. Immediately, even!

He took another breath, filling his lungs and confidence with energy.

“Fuck Logan”, he tried again, tone of voice turning a firmer like snow piling up so much, it pressed into a layer of something akin to ice.

A little smile appeared on his face, his lips pushing his other facial features up and making his eyes and heart freckles shine with him, bright like a star. A star was a sun! He knew that because Remus showed him!

He continued, his voice and spirits warming up as he moved on to worse words, harsher tones and more confident exclamations of comfort. His mind was set on assertion, not service.

As he went on, his voice increased in volume as well. The time was forgotten in his little space of the bathroom. He was walking up and down, even throwing his hands up when the catharsis of swearwords came cascading from his rather active vocal chords.

Strings of offensiveness were pronounced wildly by his curious yet usually ever-gentle voice of an innocent child.

Casper was so sucked into his world of good feelings and coping with all this stress, he got fired up for the meeting that had started minutes ago instead of actually attending. The sides were waiting for him and after some moments, Patton decided to pop up and check up on him to make sure he was okay. After all, he was one of his kiddos and he needed to take care of his best friends - all 4 of them.

The dad suddenly appeared in Casper’s room in his regular fashion. A patient smile was leading him into the empty space as he manifested himself into it with a cheery “Casper~”

Nothing.

There was nothing to be seen. The place looked pretty much as always. Some clutter, many many piles of memories concerning Thomas in earlier years of life such as his baby and toddler stages. Still, there was no Casper.

If the room was okay, then Casper had to be okay, too. Right? This was how it worked. Usually, rooms would change with a side’s alterations. Especially feelings were also reflected in a side’s room. The pink side’s room was the same as always, there was not even a single thing that seemed to be out of place.

Patton, however, could make out the smallest bit of noise in the background.

The moral side inched closer to the door that lead to the bathroom.

“Kiddo? We are waiting for you”, he called into the responseless space, “we have your favourite snacks”

The silence screamed at Morality, making him squirm in his spot and carefully shift his weight from one foot to the other.

As he approached the door further, he started making out the clear sound of Casper’s soft voice. The gentleness of a child marked the sound of it, making it more than evident that it was him and not anyone else talking.

“Casper, heyo!”

Patton tried again but there was a response this time, a rather loud and harsh series of spat-out words.

“Fuck THIS ALL! Stupid, fuckfaced, mother-”

It was at this moment, the reader knew, Casper had fucked up. But it was also at this moment, that Patton knew nothing but blackness. Within just the fraction of a moment, his mind blocked out any other information and his body snapped together like a folding chair. He landed on the floor like a plank rather than a person. His whole appearance was stiff, frozen from the shock of hearing such vulgar words at all but especially said by a voice as soft as Casper’s and by a person as sweet and innocent as Attachment had to be!

Casper could hear a sudden thud. Huh? What happened? Usually, Remus would be louder than that when crashing into his room all of a sudden. The chaotic side also had a sense of respecting Casper’s separation between spending time with him or the others. He would not invade without a reason.

Curious yet also peaking in a tad of worry, he stuck his head out of the door only to be met with the sight of a passed out Patton before his bed.

“Oh? Pat, Pat, what is wrong?!”

The pink side held the dad figure carefully. Slowly, he woke up.

“Casper..?”

Attachment nodded eagerly, glad to see the other awake once more. Relief taster sweeter than honey on his little tongue.

Patton sobbed softly.

“I thought you had said really bad words”, he explained between sniffles, his arms moving to hug the other, “I was really scared Remus had turned you into one of them.”

The sweetness turned bitter real quick. His whole mouth seemed sour and Casper got really sick and heavy in the stomach. Patton seemed oblivious or careless to the sudden change of heart in his friend. He was busy fixing his hair and glasses before moving on to adjust his cardigan.

“Well, I know you kiddo! I must have been excited and gotten too happy about seeing you and your nice room and memories so much I was overwhelmed and passed out! Well, silly me, I should get used to it. Anyway, my dear, how about that movie night with the others? I am super keen on it - what about you?”

Patton was rambling so much, Casper blinked a lot to process all these words. Maybe looking fast meant hearing fast? He was not sure about it but he knew that all these words made him really fuzzy in his head. His stomach was still really foul with how Patton had talked about his best friend again. Small grabby fingers brushed over the green bracelet reminding him of Remus.

“I mean.. yes. Yeah! Of course!”

His mouth was black and foul with the deception of his feelings.

His heart hurt. As usual, his lips smiled still but his eyes were dull hearts. His freckles did not glow with the enthusiasm of cuddling up with Virgil and holding hands with Patton or singing with Roman. He could not look forward to any of those things anymore.

His index poked the tentacles, one of them saying “B E S T”. When the engraved letters tickled his finger pad, he almost felt as if the world did not have to be grey anymore.

He swallowed the taste of rotten eggs.

Morality gave him a soft smile and nudged him again. He shot up to his feet and stretched out his hand.

“How about some sugar cookies, kiddo?”

Casper wanted to say yes, wanted to want going with him but something within him was still hurt by Patton’s little comment about Remus. His stomach was so sick and sensitive, if he held hands too much, he would probably cry and feel really bad. Maybe he would get a tummy ache?

He got up by himself instead and patted his clothes for good measure and manners.

“Maybe carrots?”

Remus and he really liked carrots. The other sides did not like him. He did not understand why. He felt like crying and really wanted carrots.

“Yes, sure, kiddo.”

Something in how taken aback Patton sounded made him feel as if he had done a bad thing. It was too surprising. He was too different. Too much like them.

Patton walked out of the room and Casper followed suit, his steps slow and heavy. It felt as if his freckles would fade if he did not cry. He would not cry now.

When they arrived, he got his spot next to Virgil while Patton washed and cut him some carrots. Logan and Roman were bantering. His friend soaked up the bad feelings in his heart. When Patton was back, Casper had already given up on being awake and instead fell asleep to relish in the dreams of holding hands with Remus instead. It was just them, holding hands and riding clouds because they were best friends.

“Casper is experiencing pleasant dreams, as it seems. This indicates a good overall mood and well-being.”

Patton nodded. This settled it, he had imagined the whole mess with these mean words after all!

“See popstar? He is happy with us.”

Roman gasped dramatically, touching his heart through his Beast onesie.

“How could he not be? Of course he is happy with us! We are the good guys!”

Logan rolled his eyes and shrugged, deciding to not give him the time of the day. The others redirected their attention to the screen again.

Tangled was playing and Patton and Roman started singing again as the next song came on. Virgil held onto his friend, trying to ignore just how embarrassing he felt when he hid his eyeshadow-black eyes in a pillow.

Logan measured the time it would take for the scene to end.

Not one of them noticed Casper’s heart freckles glowing. His heart was warm and his giggles were lost in the improvised sing-off between the two most enthusiastic sides. Only dream-Remus would recognise the change and call him “glow cheeks” for it.

[blushingjared]

Accidents Don’t Happen Accidentally

We Get What We Deserve Ch. 5: Accidents Don’t Happen Accidentally (Alpha! Sam x Omega! Reader x Alpha! Dean)

Square(s) Filled: Fuck or Die @spnabobingo , Double Penetration @spnkinkbingo and for @idreamofplaid ‘s “In the Bunker” Challenge with the Hidden Room Ship(s): Sam x Reader, Dean Reader (No Wincest) Characters: Omega! Fem! Reader, Alpha! Sam, Alpha! Dean Rating: Explicit Word Counts: 2.3K Warnings: Poly Relationship and Sex, Oral (Female Recieving), Anal Sex

We Get What We Deserve

Summary: When Dean and Sam are away, poor Y/N tries to find something to occupy her time. What could go wrong when a hidden room shows up?

A/N: OOOOO boi, smut is hard for Lia :( . So I hope you enjoy this regardless. I won’t be uploading for a hot minute cause Im working on a Bang Challenge. I will be doing the Hiatus Creations tho. Look out for that.

Beta’d by the lovely @sweetness47

You didn't waltz into the hidden room that had opened up without a plan. Being of sound mind, you made sure to send a text Dean and Sam, with all the information pertaining to where you were. Before  jumping the gun and waltzing inside of the mysterious room, you needed to have a good, solid Plan B. The loud SLAM of the door closing behind you and locking you inside, echoed off the walls, and you prayed that the message you sent got through.

“Shit.” The curse slipped from your lips as you looked around the room for a brief moment. You ran a hand over the back of your neck. That wasn’t good.

As you looked at where the door should have been, you find no door handle. The room was designed to keep things in. It seemed as though you were stuck. Nice going, Y/N.

You reflected on the course of events that lead to you being locked inside of the room in the first place.

With the Winchester’s gone, you were left to you own devices in the bunker. Both Alpha’s had begun to sense the fact that their partner in hunting was about to go through her heat pretty soon. Neither brother wanted to be around you during that.

Try as you might, you couldn't  convince the boys that it was you that should leave. The gentleman in them wouldn't hear of it.. They insisted you have the bunker during your heat, saying it was the safest place for you. Sure it was.

So, after being alone for the week, you were bored out of your mind with nothing to do until your heat finally came in. You tried cleaning, but gave up, getting distracted watching Netflix, then half way through that, you grew bored once more.

Doing too much of anything for long stretches of time had become irritating. So, you’d decided to go on walks through the bunker. It was at this point that you’d felt something  begin to beckon to you, drawing you in.

A mixture of lemon and leather hit your nose all at once, bringing you to your knees momentarily. Slowly, you gained the ability to walk, and the further you walked, the closer you got to the scent. Then the hallway began to warm up, and the feeling brought goosebumps to your skin. The restlessness you’d been feeling the past three days was gone for the moment.

Finally, you came across a hidden room within the bunker. You’d been inside most of the rooms within your new home, but you couldn’t recall ever seeing this one. For the most part, the room was exactly the same as all the others, except this door blended in with the walls. In fact, you had almost missed it. You felt like Sam and Dean had no knowledge  of the hidden room inside their bunker.

When you placed your palm against it, a feeling of ease washed of you once more. You craved to be on the other side of the door. Now, you were. You had gotten your wish.

Attempting to pull on the door did nothing as you had suspected. So, now that you were stuck inside the room, with nowhere else to go, you surrendered.  You decided to give a look around the room.

It was cosy. Wood paneling made up the walls and soft carpet rested beneath your bare feet. A layer of dust covered the furniture items within the room. It was clear to you, that this room hadn’t been in use since the old Men of Letters days.

Most of the furniture was standard. A bed, dresser, mirror and an attaching bathroom made the room feel cosier than most of the bunkers bedrooms. It felt purposefully decorated that way. A small booklet sat on the side table and you began to move towards it.

Alphas and Omegas within the Men of Letters: A Guide to Mating. You wrinkle your nose in disgust as you flip through the booklet. The “guidelines” are as archaic as this rooms. Every rule seems to have no regard for the Omega in the mating rituals for those within the Men of Letters society.

The room’s sole purpose was described as followed. “To make sure all Alphas within the Men of Letters Society are satisfied. An omegas senses are to be dulled by the release of the scent most desirable to them. In addition to that, once the door is opened, it is to remained closed until knotting has occurred."

You’d been tricked into a sex dungeon. You felt disgusted at allowing yourself to be led to that damn room.

Of course, it didn’t take long for Sam and Dean to barrel into the room, only for the door to shut behind them as well.

“Was that the door?” Dean asked, lowering his gun to his side. Sam turned around and looked at where the door was supposed to be, as you had done an hour earlier.

“Shit.” The two brothers said in unison.

The room had turned sweltering, like the thermostat had been turned up to a hundred degrees. You’d already torn off most of the clothing you’d been wearing, Tossed into one of the corners lay everything but your panties and tank top. It only made matters worse now that Sam and Dean were in with you, especially after you explained that none of you would be leaving until the doors opened.

Sam had attempted to look for supplies, only to come up with a roll of old looking condoms and dried up lube. Which meant no food or water, and no safety either.

Dean had used up both his and Sams bullets in an attempt to open up the door. Nothing worked. Sam had surrendered most of his clothes to the heat within two hours. It took Dean another two to follow after his baby brother. You clear your throat, catching the attention of both brothers.

It dawned on the three of you that no one would be leaving any time soon.

Dean’s eyes lingered on you for a brief moment before his head turned away, ashamed of the lust he felt. Sam seemed to feel otherwise as he looked right at you, even smirking as you begin to crawl closer towards him. “I want you. Both of you. I don’t care. This room might kill us if we don’t fuck. I’ve wanted it for so long anyways.”

Sam lets his eyes flicker down to your mouth, and a glint of lust sparkles in his eyes before he presses his lips to yours. His hand moves up to grip your hair and yank you closer to his body, pulling you onto his lap.

A small moan of pleasure leaves your mouth as the two of you grind against each other. Alpha and Omega, fighting one another for pleasure. It’s only when Dean slides his hand along your back, do you cry out for them.

“Alphas.” You beg. “Touch me.”

Sam gripped your thigh, his thumb digging a bruise into your skin as he looked down at you. Dean’s palm had made its way to your throat, squeezing around it. “We’re gonna do more than just touch you sweetheart.”

The heat of the room caused all three of you to shed what remained of your clothes.. You felt both brother’s cocks grinding and rubbing against you, and you shiver as you imagine them inside you, fucking you senseless.

One of Dean’s calloused palms moves to cover your soft flesh. He kneads it gently as Sam moves his hands to your core. The youngest Winchester slides his fingers through your soaked folds, tracing a line down your legs.

Being moved now onto Dean’s lap, you feel his bare chest against your back. Sam's head begins to dip down, making a trail of kisses along your tummy and thighs. Each kiss was urging your thighs apart, giving him access to your pussy.

“Gonna have to get you nice and open baby girl.” His stubble covered jaw scraped along the smooth skin of your thighs, causing you to tremble in anticipation. Dean's hands continued to move over your breasts.

With a quick kiss to your clit, Sam sinks two digits deep inside you. You start to cry out, but strong hands turn your head, and Dean's mouth crushes against yours. Whispered promises and filthy words flow from Sam’s mouth as he sees you grinding, convulsing underneath his touch.

“That’s it princess. You look so pretty like this.” Dean pulled his lips from yours, leaving his palm against your throat. “Baby girl. We got you.” The eldest brother whispers. Never once did their hands leave your body, the need to touch you overwhelming them in every possible way.

Soon enough, you were coming in Sam’s hand, spiraling out of control as he continued to fuck his fingers inside of you. He disregarded the fact that you had already come, but you didn't care. You arched your back, begging for more.

“Please!” You sob softly. Dean tried his best to soothe you, but he made no move to stop his brother, and a silent understanding passed between them. With a few more strokes, Sam dragged you back over that cliff of pleasure. Tears streamed down your cheeks as he pulled his hand away.

Both men looked at you, thighs shaking, cum sliding down your bare thighs. Neither brother spoke as they took you in. You knew your heat was coming in early. The way your body was growing warm and your cunt was aching for a knot to be inside you.

Then the moment came, both brothers were gonna fuck you. This was almost too good to be true. Sam reached down and brushed his thumb lovingly over your cheek as he spread your thighs for him. Then Sam’s cock slid into your front, your voice unable to express the fact you wanted Dean inside you too.

The message, though unspoken, seemed to be clear enough, as he collects a bit of slick from where Sam was moving inside you. He begins to push a single finger into your ass, with too little lube, finding it hard to move around inside you. The burn and ache of it all added another level of pleasure to the situation.

Sam lifted your small body up high, only to slam you back down with each thrust. Soft mewls of pleasure flowed out of you with each movement, a gentle cry coming out as you ached for both men now. Dean mad slow movements and worked his way up to three fingers. Your slick was the only lube around, so stretching and pain was inevitable.

Sam held back, knowing that he needed to wait to make you cum. His forehead pressed back against yours as Dean gave his baby brother the signal he was ready to go in. Only then did the younger Winchester’s pace pick up speed. His grip on your hip tightened uncomfortably, but his other hand was free to mash his thumb against your clit. You chased after an orgasm that was surely going to break you.

Sam and Dean continue to press loving and gentle kisses along any place that they could reach. Dean’s hand slid along your back and both men easily thrust inside you. Now that both men where inside you, it was hard to think, you’d never be able to go back from this. Both of them continued to move inside of you, claiming your body like the Alphas they were. Each leaving temporary marks that would have to do until they could properly claim you.

Thrust after thrust, moan after moan, each second of overwhelming pleasure only brought tears to your eyes and your body grew limp. Then you felt Sam lift you up and bring you down himself. Dean's warm palms continued to roam over your chest, grabbing at whatever he could blindly reach at.

You finally came with a loud cry, sobbing as you felt Sam and Dean follow soon after you. Dean slipped out, but you barely noticed, because Sam was fully knotted inside of you. He looked up at his brother as Dean pushed the door open.

“Thank God” Sam whispered as he lifted you up. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.” He smiled weakly as he awkwardly, but carefully carried you out. Although, you barely registered the words as you felt yourself drift off to sleep.

Dean’s eyes lingered on the cup of coffee sitting in front of him, the spoon lazily clanking against the edges of the drink. A gentle sigh burst passed his lips as last nights dream lingered on his mind, despite his best efforts to push it aside. He had no intention on thinking about a wet dream that included his brother; it was too close for comfort.

Not 5 minutes later, Sam made his way into the kitchen, a hand moving through the mess that was the kid’s hair. It surprised the eldest Winchester to see Sam still in his sleep clothes. Dean double checked his watch, and saw the time was, in fact, noon. He couldn’t remember the last time Sam had slept in so late when he wasn’t sick or exhausted from an apocalypse like situation.

“Mornin’ Sammy.” Dean smiled and greeted his brother. Sam’s response was a meager grunt as he waved his hand in Dean’s direction. The younger Winchester reached for a cup and the pot of coffee. He too was having flashbacks to the previous night's dream, and trying very hard not to linger on the fact that he enjoyed watching Y/N with the both of them.

With little left to say, both men sat in silence, drinking their coffee, and letting their thoughts drift to you, and you alone.

[artificialqueens]

Heatstroke (Shillam) - Ortega

a/n: it’s ya boi, back from holiday with a very Summery bit of nonsense for u all! love to purecamp for just screaming beta-ing this. hope u all like it and if u do, pls hop into my ask box or pop an ask here to show me some love xo

summary:

“Or…how about we swap shifts? I take yours now, you cover my beach shift later on. Gives you more time to crack on with the nonentities of reality TV.”

Chad looked initially excited then suddenly narrowed her eyes, following Sharon’s quick gaze over to the three girls on the sunbeds, where the pink-haired one in her line of vision was now arguing with the sunbed-reservers. As Sharon snapped her gaze back to Chad, the other girl was now giving her eyes a colossal roll.

“Oh, Sharon, could this be any more of a cliche?”

(4kish oneshot. Sharon’s a lifeguard. Willam’s a dumbass. lesbian au bc it’s me xo)

***

The bright sting of sunlight beamed down onto Sharon’s skin as she frowned, squirted out another huge dollop of factor 50 into the palm of her hand, and rubbed gently at her shoulders. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to the heat over here and she cursed as she watched the other lifeguards wander around the poolside, all gorgeous and tanned and straight out of an ITV2 reality show. Sharon was pale and fair, a combination that didn’t mix well with Ibiza in the height of July. She got blisters on her shoulders the first week she came- she’d never been abroad before and thought that one thick layer of suncream in the morning would be enough to last the whole day. Seven days, various baggy t shirts and three full bottles of aloe vera lotion later, she had learned her lesson.

As she cast her gaze over the resort where a healthy mix of sixth form holidayers, wannabe instagram influencers, and 40 year old men with skin the same tone as a gammon partied or swam or sunbathed away, across the way she caught the eye of a girl on the sunbeds who had already been looking at her. She was lying on her tummy and reading a magazine which was resting on the stone tiles below the sunbed. Her gaze had flicked back down to the glossy pages, pink hair falling over her face as she attempted to disguise the fact she’d been looking at Sharon just moments ago. Or maybe Sharon was going crazy, which was probably the most likely option. It had been a couple of months since her ex had broken up with her (okay, five - she was counting) and since Phi Phi, she hadn’t received the attention of any girls and she was starting to go mildly insane. That was part of the reason why she’d even applied for the job at Ocean Beach in the first place- the other was that she desperately needed some sun, and when she got offered the job there she accepted in a heartbeat. A whole season away from home would be weird, but really what was she leaving behind? Her one bed flat and a bunch of potted plants she could barely keep alive?

Sharon felt something burning on her again, and this time it wasn’t the sun. She slowly, cautiously, turned her head around to the spot she knew the girl was lying down at and, sure enough, she was looking at her again. Only this time she hadn’t turned away and was allowing Sharon to take in her blue eyes, surrounded with last night’s glitter, mascara and eyeliner. On anyone else it would look horrific, but this girl seemed to suit it as if she’d woken up that day and decided to put her makeup on like an Escher painting. She’d evidently put on fresh gloss and her lips were a shining metallic blue, rendering Sharon unable to see what colour they were actually meant to be. She didn’t really mind. The girl’s bikini was like holographic dental floss- the bottoms were practically disappearing between her cheeks and the singular strap of the top had been unclipped and was draped on either side of the girl’s body allowing her to avoid a tan line. Sharon was suddenly glad of the mirrored aviators she was wearing which were allowing her to look at the girl without her knowing- which sounded creepy in Sharon’s head, but she justified it by knowing she hadn’t been the one that started it. Just then, the girl gave her an exaggerated wink, making Sharon thankful for her sunburnt cheeks as she knew she was flushing the same shade as the neon pink bikini that an Only Way Is Essex star was wearing two sun loungers along from her.

“Willam!” there came a loud shout that cut through the noise of two different sets of speakers, as the girl’s head snapped to the side and glared at two other blonde girls (one tall, one smaller) that had appeared beside her. The tall one was speaking. “Girl! We’ve been shouting across to you for like five minutes! What do you want from the bar?"

As the girl dragged her eyes off Sharon she barely had time to overthink about whether she’d seemed reluctant to stop staring or not, as she had to blow her whistle at a group of eight boys on holiday together all seemingly trying to drown each other.

***

Sharon boredly swung her whistle around in her hand, the small metal noise box from hell constantly threatening to fly off its lanyard. She’d been scanning the side of the pool all of yesterday and all morning but she still hadn’t seen a flash of pink hair, and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t disappoint her. She didn’t know why this one girl- Willam, Sharon reminded herself- had grabbed her attention so forcefully with just a wink worthy of a Carry-On film and a holographic bikini. Ocean Beach was frequented by beautiful girls with glossy hair, perfect blinding veneers and tans worthy of Greek goddesses, and for the first week she’d lifeguarded there Sharon had felt like a bitch in heat. But Willam was so different to them. She was almost special because she didn’t conform to the classic Ibiza-Barbie beauty standard with her pink hair and messy makeup. Sharon frowned to herself and shook her head before taking a swig from her water bottle. What the fuck was she doing getting so hung up on a random girl she literally hadn’t spoken to yet and who she only knew the name of by sheer dumb luck?

She was suddenly distracted by someone leaning against the lookout, and was ready to blow her whistle into their face when she realised it was only Chad. She’d completely forgotten that her shift was almost over, and it hit her with a pang of disappointment that she hadn’t seen Willam yet. Chad swept her dark fringe out of her eyes and smiled up at her.

"Guess who slept with Rykard Jenkins last night?” she bragged, her poised posture somehow making the whole interaction seem classy. “I’m not naming names but it was definitely me.”

“Oh my God. Is he a minor royal?” Sharon gasped extravagantly, placing a hand to her chest and laughing as Chad rolled her eyes.

“You know he was on Love Island, Sharon,” she glared at her, unimpressed. Sharon gave a chuckle.

“No, you’re right. I did know that. Does he have a thing for girls whose first and last names usually belong to men? Chad, I don’t know how to tell you this, baby,” Sharon stage-whispered down to her friend. “I think he’s gay.”

Chad managed to hold her unimpressed look for all of a second before spluttering out a laugh. “God, you’re the worst. Remind me why I’m friends with you?”

“Because I’m the only bitch in this place that wouldn’t sell your soul to Satan for a bottle of Moet.”

Chad laughed and made to climb up the ladder. “Let me on my goddamn shift, bitch, before I tip this thing over."

Suddenly, something caught Sharon’s eye. Three girls- two blonde, one pink- strutting up to three sunbeds which already had towels on them, flinging them away and replacing them with their own before kicking their wedges off and lying down. Sharon felt excitement catch in her throat.

"Or…how about we swap shifts? I take yours now, you cover my beach shift later on. Gives you more time to crack on with the nonentities of reality TV.”

Chad looked initially excited then suddenly narrowed her eyes, following Sharon’s quick gaze over to the three girls on the sunbeds, where the pink-haired one in her line of vision was now arguing with the sunbed-reservers. As Sharon snapped her gaze back to Chad, the other girl was now giving her eyes a colossal roll.

“Oh, Sharon, could this be any more of a cliche?”

“Shut up! I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Sharon frowned, mentally kicking herself that her second statement should probably have come before her first. Chad raised an eyebrow to indicate she’d read Sharon’s mind. “Look, it’s nothing, okay, it’s just…she’s cute, and I want to get to know her."

Chad gave a laugh and climbed down off the first rung. "Well as long as nobody dies because you’re too busy staring at a cute girl. Which one is she, the legs?”

“No. Pink hair,” Sharon risked a look back over to find that chief-sunbed-reserver-bitch was practically at Willam’s throat. Sharon gave a long blast of her whistle which made the sunbed-reserver drop her towel. “Hey! No reserving! You know that shit!"

As the sunbed-reservers slunk off, Sharon didn’t miss the beaming smile of thanks that Willam was sending her way. She gave a small, self-conscious salute and turned back to Chad, who was cringing.

"A salute? Girl. You’re not fucking Little Mix.”

“Piss off and let me make heart eyes in peace.”

So Chad did, and Sharon tried not to focus too much on Willam because as Chad had mentioned, there were many people here that were already more than a few drinks down despite it being 11 in the morning, so Sharon had to watch that they didn’t stray too close to the pool’s edge. As her gaze drifted back to the three sun-loungers, she saw that one of them was empty. Willam wasn��t there any more, but all her stuff was. As Sharon felt her heart sink with confusion, she was distracted by a deafening cry of “CANNONBAAAAALL!” which was immediately followed by a crashing splash in the water, which soaked many unimpressed Instagram influencers who were trying to perfect their poses on unicorn-shaped inflatable rings. Frowning, Sharon blew her whistle again before she realised who had launched themself into the water- a slick of wet, pink hair floated back to the surface, Willam’s grin plastered over her face, clearly happy that she’d caused the maximum amount of destruction possible. Nonetheless, Sharon had blown her whistle and she had to commit to it.

“No bombing!” she yelled across to her, Willam only glaring briefly at her and shooting her a smile.

“Calm down, princess, I ain’t Al-Quaeda!"

Sharon tried to stop the quirk that her lips gave. Princess. She definitely didn’t like that as much as her body was telling her that she did.

The rest of the morning seemed to pass way too quickly. Sharon was trying to do her job to the best of her ability but she kept getting distracted and her gaze kept being pulled over to the set of three sunbeds to update herself on what Willam was doing. Namely chatting to her friends and sunbathing. Sharon felt like an idiot, willing her to come and walk past her lookout so she could just happen to strike up a conversation with her. Really, though, what the fuck would she say? Hey, I’ve been weirdly lowkey (highkey) checking you out for the past three days and I already know your name even though we’ve barely exchanged words. Wanna go out?

It turned out she didn’t have to worry as, from the way Willam began to act, it was almost as if she wanted Sharon’s attention. It began when she teetered back from the bar, mojito in hand. She slipped her heels off and made her way into the pool, where she sat her drink at the side and dipped her body into the water. As much as Sharon was taken in by the sight of the neon green faux-snakeskin swimsuit she was wearing and how well it fitted her (definitely not how well it clung to her body), Sharon had to blow her whistle again. Her heart gave a thump when Willam looked over her shoulder at her, straw between her teeth and her damp hair giving a flick.

"No drinks,” Sharon shouted over, unable to stop herself from giving a small smile as Willam rolled her eyes and pouted.

“Who the hell are you, Casper the Nazi ghost?” she yelled back, turning and gesturing to her smaller blonde friend to collect her glass. The girl leant down to Willam and whispered something quietly, the other girl’s face lighting up as if she’d just discovered Uranium. There was the smallest, tiniest glance to Sharon, so small that Sharon wasn’t sure if it had even been directed at her or not.

She soon had her answer.

Around twenty minutes later, and mid-daydream, Sharon was distracted by Willam again. She had floated into her line of vision on a donut-patterned rubber ring, and Sharon was about to admire how gorgeous and tanned she looked when she spotted what Willam had in her hand. Willam seemed to sense Sharon’s eyes on her and she smiled, lifted an enormous, lettuce-and-ketchup filled burger to her mouth and took a huge bite.

The whistle was at Sharon’s lips in around a second.

“Are you serious?!” she found herself yelling over, Willam simply smiling and batting her eyes at her.

“You want some? It’s really good,” she said placidly, Sharon rolling her eyes at her so hard they threatened to roll out their sockets.

“Get out the damn pool,” she frowned, narrowing her eyes at Willam before realising she wouldn’t be able to see them through her sunglasses. Nevertheless, Willam shrugged and pushed herself towards the steps where she evacuated her rubber ring without spilling a single bit of the burger.

Five minutes later, Sharon’s gaze was pulled from a group of lads on their stag do who looked increasingly close to falling into the water by a huge shout.

“HEY ALASKA, WATCH HOW FAST I CAN RUN!"

Before Sharon knew what was happening, there was a blur of pink hair and neon green, as Willam made a pretty successful attempt to imitate Usain Bolt’s first time in six-inch heels. Sharon scrambled for her whistle as Willam came dangerously close to knocking someone who she might have recognised from Ex on the Beach into the pool.

Slightly less attracted to her and now far more annoyed by her, Sharon beckoned the girl over. Willam, for her part, looked more proud than ashamed and she made her way around the cavernous pool over to where Sharon sat perched on the lookout. As soon as Willam reached her and beamed up at her with her perfect teeth however, Sharon’s annoyance faltered. What the fuck was she going to say to her?

"Hey, lifeguard,” Willam quipped flirtatiously, Sharon trying to ignore the tone she’d taken with her and going straight to bollocking mode.

“Right, what the fuck is your problem? You’ve been fighting with other guests, chucking yourself into the pool like a sea lion, taken your drink into the pool, taken a fucking burger into the pool, and now you want to act like Mo fucking Farah? You almost knocked Jess Impiazzi into the water, are you trying to end up in the papers?”

Willam fiddled with the buckle on her swimsuit’s belt, looking faux-coyly up at Sharon from under her lashes. “Just page 3 of ‘em.”

Sharon nearly choked. “Well then stop acting like a tit. You’re at Ocean Beach, not the fucking local lido.”

“Well you appear to be a Drumsticks Squashie masquerading as a human being and no-one’s pulled you up on that,” Willam bit back with a cheeky smile. She had a dimple near her chin when she smiled. Sharon tried to ignore that and her hurt pride as she self-consciously touched the sleeves of her regulation polo shirt.

“One more strike and you’re out,” Sharon attempted a withering putdown but her voice seemed to betray the regret she felt in her voice. She didn’t want to ban Willam- she really, desperately didn’t- but rules were rules, and her manager would come down even harder on her if she continued to let this clownery take place a moment longer. Willam simply gave her a single nod and a flirtatious smile.

“Okay, lifeguard,” she deadpanned, before flicking her hair (which had now gone wavy) over her shoulder and walking off. Sharon sighed. She wished Willam didn’t rile her as much as she did. She wished she was less annoying. She wished her legs didn’t look so good in her wedges as she walked away- fuck, no.

Sharon tried to completely clear Willam from her mind. She only had around ten minutes until her shift was up, she could hold on til then. That was what she thought until she scanned her eyes over the pool and saw a mess of pink hair face-down in the water, her body starfished and floating on top. Willam’s two blonde friends seemed to have noticed Sharon’s initial panicked reaction and had begun shouting.

“Oh my God, Courtney, Willam’s drowning!”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Alaska, she is! If only there was a…blonde, skinny…kinda pale…lifeguard to come and save her!” the smaller blonde shouted. Sharon briefly wondered how many calories you could burn via eye-rolling. She’d surely lost a pound today through that alone.

Sharon blew her whistle, walked down from the lookout post and lowered herself into the pool where she swam over to Willam, levered her skinny arms around her neck and swam with her over to the poolside. Positioning her on the steps so she was face-up, Willam gave a dramatic gasp for air and fixed her gaze on Sharon.

“Oh my God! That was so fucking scary…I just passed out, I don’t know what happened…”

Sharon tried to ignore the fact that Willam had consciously kept her arms wrapped around her neck. “Very good, Meryl Streep. Get your shit. You’re barred.”

“What?!” Willam cried, her expression contorting into one of outrage and regret stabbing at Sharon’s heart.

“I told you, didn’t I? One more strike. Piss off,” she scolded in as strict a voice she could muster. Willam scrambled on the ground, moved to snatch her towel up from her lounger, and then squared up to her. She was standing close. Too close, because Sharon’s head was being filled with all sorts of scenarios and fuck, things would be made so much easier if the girl took just one step back.

(Of course, Sharon herself could have taken a step back. But where would the fun have been in that?)

Willam’s eyes narrowed, but there was still a playful spark in them that set Sharon’s nerves alight. “You’re lucky you’re cute…” she began, then flicked her eyes down to the nametag on her shirt. “…Sharon.”

With that, Willam flounced off with her friends quickly following her, and the death stares they were giving Sharon were offset by the smell of Willam’s perfume which managed to overpower the chlorine coming from the ends of her hair.

***

No matter how bored she was of drunken holidaymakers, overhearing the sunburnt, bigoted expats talking about Brexit, or the mosquitos, Sharon would never get bored of the sunsets here. Mostly they were the standard beautiful orange with a hint of yellow or red or both, but sometimes whoever controlled the skies threw something truly special up there. Tonight the sky was almost entirely pink, different hues of dark red-pink high in the sky fading into cherry blossom, then baby pink and then a bright white strip where the sky met the sea. The calm surface of the water meant that the whole beautiful scene was reflected against the surface, and a mirror image of the sky shone back at Sharon as she sat against a cushioned sun lounger that was usually reserved for paying guests. She sat and drank it all in whilst thinking about home, and Phi Phi, and what she could have done differently. She didn’t miss her- she just missed having someone to love. Sharon sometimes felt she had too much love and it always threatened to pour out of her, to burst at her seams.

“You just give me the ick, Sharon, you’re too much for me!”

The words still stung, no matter how much Sharon was over it.

Suddenly there was a small thump beside her on the sun lounger and Sharon had to stop her heart rising like one of the parasailers they took out to sea during the day. As she turned, it was as if someone was smiling down on her because there sat Willam, burying her own feet in the sand and swaying a little where she sat.  It had been a day or two since Sharon had seen her last and in that time she’d managed to entirely fill her head, regret at having barred the girl completely consuming her. Sharon still hadn’t stopped looking at her, deigning her much more beautiful than the sunset in front of her. She had chunks of glitter in her hair as well as covering her arms, collarbones and chest.

“Hey,” she began, wondering if Willam really had noticed her as she seemed completely intent on entombing her ankles. Willam’s head suddenly gave a lurch to the side and she smiled up at her goofily, making Sharon’s stomach give a dip.

“Oh hey. It’s the strawberry mini milk,” she slightly slurred out, making Sharon laugh despite the jibe.

“Ouch.”

“That’s a joke, by the way. You’re not that sunburned,” Willam followed it up, her eyes seeming to plead with Sharon to never stop looking into them. “You’re more like a…vanilla mini milk.”

“What is this obsession with mini milks?” Sharon chuckled, Willam giving an elongated shrug.

“They’re rich in calcium.”

Sharon wondered if this girl was ever going to stop making her laugh. As she quieted down, she noticed Willam had gone quiet too and she was back burying her feet. “You’ll get sand under your nails.”

“Meh.”

“How was the glitter party, then?”

“Tried to chat someone up from the last series of Love Island.”

“Oh. Very nice,” Sharon raised her eyebrows, wondering why everyone seemed to be obsessed with these manufactured, airbrushed ideas of what an attractive human should look like. To her, none of them had a patch on Willam.

“No, bitch, it wasn’t nice! Because I’m still alone, aren’t I, instead of getting pounded into the mattress,” she mumbled sadly, Sharon’s heart going out to her for some reason. With a stab to her heart, she realised she hadn’t counted on Willam not liking girls.

“Well, you’re not technically alone. Because I’m with you,” Sharon kept her flirting subtle, part of her not wanting to be deterred. She was rewarded by Willam smiling at her shyly. It seemed out of character.

“Well, Sharon the lifeguard. Since I’m not-alone-with-you. Tell me things,” Willam leant forward onto her elbows and her head came just that little bit close to resting on Sharon’s lap. Her breath hitched in her throat.

“JLS have had the most number ones out of any other UK X Factor winner.”

“What?”

“You told me to tell you things. That’s a thing,” Sharon shrugged lightly, the other girl bursting into a laugh that made her sound like a bike horn.

“No, you idiot! I meant about you! I want the first draft of the autobiography,” she giggled, and Sharon’s heart sprang to life.

“Well. There’s not much to tell really. Was a lifeguard at home before I came out here, just working at the local pool. Can’t really tell what’s easier to be honest. Suppose dealing with drunk adults is a little bit like dealing with children,” she reeled off, suddenly self-conscious about how boring her life sounded. Willam didn’t seem deterred.

“How old are you?"

Sharon was going to make a quip about how it was rude to ask a lady’s age, but thought she might have been taking it too far there. "Twenty-seven. Probably too old to be working at Ocean Beach, but-”

“Oh my God, me too!” Willam cried, drunk and happy. As she rolled onto her back she said something that sounded a bit like “No age gap, then.” but Sharon was sure her mind must have been playing tricks on her.

“What’s your story?” Sharon asked, fighting the urge to rest her arm against Willam’s waist.

“ ’M a receptionist for some company in the Shard. AK…C…VIP or something like that,” she waved a hand dismissively, and Sharon laughed.

“What do they do?”

“It’s a payments ecosystem,” Willam said dryly, Sharon holding in her laugh for about a second before it came bursting out of her.

“You definitely made that up.”

“Bitch, they definitely made it up! Nobody knows what the hell it means,” Willam cried out defensively, before shifting uncomfortably. “No one knows what it means, but it’s provocative. This isn’t comfy. Hang on.”

Before Sharon knew it, Willam’s head was in her lap and her heart was fluttering dangerously quickly.

“So how come you’re out here?” Sharon asked, taking her mind off her impending heart attack. She felt Willam shrug.

“Same reason everyone’s out here. Holiday. Escaping my boring fuck of a life.”

Sharon gave a laugh. “I think most people are out here to get famous.”

“Well in that case, I ain’t most people.”

There was a pause before Willam spoke again, in which Sharon, against her better judgement, brought her hand up to tangle in Willam’s hair. She could have imagined it, but she thought she heard Willam give a little purr of happiness. Willam broke the silence all too quickly.

“The sky looks like the lesbian flag.”

Sharon looked up at the rapidly receding sun and took it all in. “I guess it does.”

“Representation,” Willam punched her fist in the air weakly. Sharon’s heart gave a jolt as if she’d just been pushed down a water slide.

“As in?” Sharon heard herself asking, willing her voice not to sound too hopeful. She fully expected an answer that was akin to Oh I love the lesbians! Pink is pretty!

“As in, I’m getting the representation I deserve?” Willam gestured as if it was obvious. Sharon didn’t dare believe what she was implying.

“Oh, you’re a lesbian?” she asked casually. Except it didn’t come out as casual as she’d hoped.

Willam turned over so her head was peering up at Sharon, unimpressed. “Oh don’t tell me you’re some homophobic bitch, because I had you pegged as a butch top and I’ve never been wrong before in my life.”

Sharon’s mind immediately burst into the Hallelujah chorus.

“No! No, no, no. I mean I’m not homophobic. And I’m also gay,” she shrugged, trying to ignore the angels with trumpets that were blasting in her ears. She gave a snort as she realised what Willam had said. “Butch?”

“Oh yeah, girl. Butch as fuck. Embrace it.”

There was a quiet pause in which Sharon didn’t stop playing with Willam’s hair and Willam began drawing against Sharon’s skin with her fingers. Willam was the one to break it.

“What 'bout you, bitch? How come you’re out here? You gonna be on Baywatch?” Willam spoke too-loudly, interrupting the moment.

Sharon gave a small sigh. “I broke up with my girlfriend. Well, no, she broke up with me. Moved out of her flat. Got one of my own. The job came up and I had nothing to lose so I just went for it.”

“Damn. She’s a fuckin’ idiot. What was her name?"

"Phi Phi,” Sharon said, the words sounding all wrong in her mouth. She was glad when they were out of there.

“She sounds like a bitch,” Willam shifted so that she was comfortable and her fingers could continue to make patterns against Sharon’s legs. Sharon should have moved further away. She didn’t.

Sharon twirled a lock of pink around her fingers, eager to change the subject. “So wait, who was the Love Islander that-”

“Megan from season four. She’s by far the hottest girl to ever grace the show and she’s bi so I thought I was in with a shot,” Willam pouted up at Sharon. “Turns out she likes brunettes. You look a lot like her actually.”

Sharon gave a laugh that hoped disguised the fact that her pulse was racing. She barely knew the girl, but simultaneously she felt as if they were old acquaintances. They had some sort of inexplicable connection, which sounded crazy but Sharon felt it was true. “Comparing me to the most attractive girl ever on Love Island. High praise.”

“No, you’re the most attractive girl to exist ever,” Willam slurred out, Sharon’s pulse now surely breaking every speed limit to exist.

“You barely know me, Willam,” she laughed softly, trying not to let the regret tinge her voice too much. Willam narrowed her eyes at her as she stared up.

“How d'you know my name, bitch?”

Sharon froze. She tried to turn it on Willam. “Well how do you know mine?”

“It was on your fuckin’ nametag,” Willam laughed, curiosity still in her eyes. Sharon covered her face as she realised she would have to reveal what a massive fucking stalker she was.

“I heard one of your friends shouting on you the other day. Committed it to memory. That makes me sound weird, and it is fucking weird, but I just-"

Sharon was cut off as Willam pushed herself off Sharon’s lap and moved to sit close beside her. Their bodies were touching and some of the glitter from Willam’s leg transferred onto Sharon’s, a little part of Willam that was stuck to her. Willam tucked her hair behind her ears and looked towards the sand in an uncharacteristically demure gesture.

"You know I’m coming on to you, right? I don’t mind spelling it out if you can’t tell,” she said, sounding more sober now than she had throughout the entire conversation. Sharon wasn’t sure what to do next. She didn’t really think she would get this far, happy with admiring Willam from a distance. Now this seemed all so real and possible and not just images Sharon had conjured up in her head before she went to sleep.

“You’re drunk as fuck.”

“So were my parents when they conceived me and bitch, here I am,” Willam shrugged, nudging her shoulder against Sharon’s own. Sharon let out a laugh.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to convey.”

“I’m saying fuck my blood alcohol ratio and kiss me, goddamnit,” Willam muttered.

Without too much more encouragement, Sharon leaned in and did exactly as she was told. Willam’s lips were soft against hers and the way she took control made Sharon think perhaps she wasn’t as drunk as she was painting herself out to be. The kiss was slow and lazy, as if they had all the time in the world, and for a moment Sharon was convinced time really had frozen around them as they could have been kissing for seconds, minutes or hours. All she knew was that she never wanted to stop.

Willam rested a hand on Sharon’s thigh as she pulled away, smiling gently. Sharon hadn’t seen Willam look shy often. This was definitely a first.

“How much have you actually had to drink?” Sharon asked, remembering her earlier thought.

Willam let out a splutter, suddenly blushing. “One malibu and coke and four glasses of water.”

“Bitch!” Sharon exclaimed, Willam descending into chaos-inducing laughter beside her.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t be into me! Easier to pass off a failed seduction attempt when you’re drunk. I’m a good actress, what can I say,” Willam laughed, punctuating her final sentence with a shrug.

Sharon was suddenly filled with a swell of affection. She put an arm around Willam as the other girl rested her head on her shoulder.

“When do you fly home?"

"Got another week here,” Willam muttered, sounding suddenly tired.

“I want to get to know you,” Sharon said quietly, as if she was afraid that words would ruin everything. The sun was almost completely set now, the pink sky being overcome with black.

“I want you to rail me on my balcony,” Willam shrugged, and Sharon could tell she was only half-joking.

“There’s time for both those things,” Sharon kissed Willam on the top of her head, afraid to move her.

“Mm,” Willam nodded, her voice coated in sleep. Sharon didn’t know what time it was. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to. She enjoyed existing in this little time-exempt bubble with Willam, where flights home didn’t exist and real life was a distant memory.

“We should get you back to your room, baby.”

“Mmh, no. Wanna stay out here with you.”

So they both stayed on the sun lounger, Willam soon falling asleep and Sharon staying alertly awake until the black sky and platinum stars turned into blue and white with a yellow orb, not wanting to waste a single second in the company of the pink-haired girl asleep with her head on her lap and hoping that the upcoming week would drag slower than any she’d ever known.

[maskedjoker]

Lost Fragment of Snow(English)

Story 2: Lost Fragment of Snow Red : A child with a grotesque red arm . Mana Walker: A newcomer clown employed by the circus ***   

Snow falls quietly onto the Earth. As if it is healing the land which has been abused. Under the layer of gray clouds which stretch on endlessly, there stands a young boy. He is young, but alone. The boy has no name. He is only referred to as Red . Simply because of his strange, wrinkled left arm  – ***

Thunder – like claps and cheers break the silence.

“Thank you for everyone’s patronage today.”

It is the voice of the pleased Ringmaster.

It looks like today’s performance is successful as well.

Thought Red distractedly as he polishes the tools in the backstage of the circus. From the slit in the hanging screens, the stage surrounded by lights could be seen.

It was beautiful and full of life—contrasting with the darkness and eeriness of the backstage.

With only a small light bulb swinging above his head, Red sits on the freezing floor and concentrates on polishing the rings.  

The red and white striped rings are so big that he can only hold one.

Using both his legs to clamp the ring, and supporting it with his mostly unmovable left arm , he wipes the ring with his more nimble right hand.

In the beginning, he was unable to do these jobs well, and would always curse his left arm , but he is used to it now.

Grind the knives, then wash the clothes. The person who does odd jobs needs to do many things.

“Urgh…”

Red ’s body is shaking because of the cold.

The tent, made up of only one piece of cloth, is very cold. In order for his hand to gain some warmth, Red exhales some air on his hand. Just then, even louder cheers and claps could be heard from the stage, it sounds like they are seeing of the performers who have completed their act.

It looks like they are returning soon.

After a while, the backstage was also filled with a festive atmosphere.

The costumes made by the skilled workman are very bright.  

A clown wearing a brightly coloured clown suit. An accordion player with a pleated blouse.

The magician’s sleeve was decorated with a star shaped golden button, and shone with the light.

The hair accessory decorated with flowers and jewels belonged to the female trapeze artist.

The one wearing black and white stripes was the animal trainer— The performers, who have yet to snap out from the excitement felt during the performance, walked past Red with a proud air around them.

Red glanced downwards at his own clothing.

It was extremely sloppy around the collar, and the shirt was very dirty as well. A very short vest was worn as the outer layer. In contrast, his shorts were very big, and can even be pulled to his shoulder level.

Looking at the tragic state of his clothes, it felt really out of place. The performers put their respective props in succession in front of Red, who had not moved at all.  

Of course, no one will speak to him.

“The guests’ interests today were really high.”

“Yeah, I felt really great when I was balancing on the ball.”

“Me too, at that time, I really wanted to flip backwards twice.”

All of the happy conversations passed over the head of Red.

No one looked at Red in the eye.

It has always been that way.

Yes, it has always been that way.

He clenched his right hand tightly, and this told him that, it was as if his heart had been pierced by a knife, an uncontrollable grief bubbling up.

Thinking that way, Red put more force behind the hand polishing the ring.

“You’re still the same, so frustrated and hot tempered!” The person who said it was the clown Cosmos, his mouth twisted in a vulgar smile.

A white clown outfit. And on the left side of his face, a red star which is unique to the clown.

It was totally impossible to see his expression underneath the thick layer of makeup and powder, but the only fact known is the malicious twinkle in his eye.  

Red looks up at Cosmos, without stopping the polishing of the prop.

He cannot let this sort of guy see his weakness.

Red immediately his hand from shaking.

Yes, this happens often.

“Every time I see your face, I lose my motivation.”

Cosmos roughly pushes Red in the chest.

Red, who is still young—not even ten years old, was flung back easily.

“And, your disgusting arm! Not only is it dirty, it can’t even move, can it? How can such a useless fellow like you manage to stay here!”

Red looks at his left arm.

On it were a few deep wrinkles, just like an arm which had been dyed by a thick coating of blood. It took him a lot of effort just to make his hand move a tiny bit. Even though he wanted it to move just like his right arm, he can’t do anything.  

But—this sort of thing, has nothing to do with Cosmos.

Even he knows that this happens often, but as usual, he is unable to control his hatred for Cosmos.  

Red’s eyes naturally fill up with power.

The smile suddenly disappeared from the edge of Cosmos’ mouth.

“What’s up with you, that sort of arrogant look!”  

Cosmos’ fist hit Red’s chest, he groans softly. The heavy hit made him sick.

Red curled up as he knelt on the floor.

Cosmos had always been that way. Making him suffer in places where it is hard to see from the outside.  

“What are you saying, hahh! You’re just a piece of trash!” This time, Cosmos used his leg to kick Red in the stomach.

Red clenched his teeth.

How can he shout?

How can he cry?

This is his only way of rebelling.

He understands the reason behind Cosmos’ frustration.

The new clown has stolen away his popularity.

He planned for himself to always be the best—to this sort of Cosmos, the fact that other people could surpass him, is the hardest fact to swallow.

He wants to break Red into pieces to vent his anger. Facing this sort of Cosmos, from the bottom of his heart, Red feels only contempt towards him.

I will absolutely not give in to this sort of person.

But Cosmos would not let him off easily.

As if he wanted Red to see his shining sneakers, Cosmos cruelly kicks Red’s stomach.

He kicked again and again, causing Red to slowly lose his consciousness. Even then, Cosmos did not forgive and finally aimed a kick at Red’s face. Red’s small body was flung away by the force of the kick, and crashed into the pile of props. “What is that noise!” The Ringmaster heard the loud crash and rushed out. He wears a top hat on his head and has a brush mustache under his nose.

Even though he is short, his pants are tight around his large belly. The buttons on the vertically striped shirt looked like it was going out pop out any moment.

The Ringmaster turned towards Cosmos, his tummy shaking.

“Cosmos, did something happen?”

The Ringmaster asked Cosmos first, as he thought it was due to the Clown’s vigorous activity.

“This bastard was lazing around. For the future of the circus, I need to teach him a lesson!”

Cosmos smiled at the Ringmaster as if he was trying to flatter him. --That’s not it!

Even though he wanted to say that, no sound came out in the end.

No, even if Red denied it, the Ringmaster wouldn’t listen anyway. In front of the Ringmaster who is only interested in money, how he sees these two people is very clear.

The Ringmaster looks at Red with cold eyes.

“…seriously, not only can you not make money, you still want to slack off. Forget about dinner tonight.”  

The Ringmaster said impatiently. Then he hauls Red up.

“Who was it that took you in, with no memories and ugly looks, who was it that gave you a place to live and a job? Hmm?”  

The Ringmaster leans his pudgy face close.

If he did not answer, then he won’t have a place to belong to anymore.

“…It’s you, the Ringmaster.”

“Who was it that refused to go on stage to perform and insisted on doing odd jobs? Ah?”

“…Me.”

Red replied, the Ringmaster nods in satisfaction.  

“That’s right, listen up, I will not allow you to slack off. For Cosmos to think of the circus is really rare.”

“No, it’s what I’m supposed to do.”

Cosmos smiled at the Ringmaster with a smile meant to flatter.

“Really, I spent so much money buying you…you should at least earn my capital back! Definitely no slacking!”

The Ringmaster let go as he said so.

Cosmos seemed to be satisfied at last and leaves with the Ringmaster, smiling and humming to himself.

The other members look away from Red, who had collapsed on the ground, like they did not want to be involved, and left quickly. In the end, no one was left. In the backstage, which had regained its silence, Red, who is alone, finally tries to stand up.

The chilliness of the floor sends a shock through his body. “Urgh…”   After an unknown amount of time, the nauseous abdominal pain finally subsided a bit.

Red gets up shakily.

No one will look at me. But, it’s fine like this. I don’t want to care about you people either.  

He puts the ring which he had polished into the box, and to let out his feelings of frustration, Red walks out of the tent.

“Ah…..”

It’s a silver world outside.

White snow drifts down slowly.

No wonder it’s so cold.

The circus which was originally filled with people, noisy and extravagant, is currently standing in the square, just like a quietly blooming flower.

Red walks a few steps, unconvinced.  

Shashahsha, his foot sinks into the snow.

The air he blows out is white, bone piercing cold seeps in through his thin shirt.

Even then, Red does not stop walking.

There is no place to go. But, he just wants to leave this place. Looking at the trees which have been covered by snow, just like a white sculpture.   This comforted his soul a bit.

Seeing the snow that dyes everything white, it is as if his soul has turned pristine white.

It feels as if all his troubled have been forgotten.

Far away from the circus tent, Red kneels on the ground.

Quietly scooping up some of the snow, and placing some on his cheeks, which are as hot as fire.

Because of Cosmos’ hits, the corner of his mouth has cracked. Ah, even though it is painful, the coldness of the snow made him feel comfortable.

--What, in the world am I doing. Red does not have any memories of the past. When he became aware, he realised that he had been sold to the circus. Because he refused to perform on stage, so he decided to do odd jobs to earn a living.

The Ringmaster saw him as a piece of trash who cannot earn money and drifted away from him, he also became an outlet for Cosmos when he was angry, he was even forced by other members to do various things.

When can I—be freed from all these things.

Behind these strong feelings, are feelings of frustration and unease—how is he going to survive with a left arm like this.

Red touches his already protesting stomach, it still feels painful.

Now—he can’t leave. He still needs to continue this humiliating and lonely life. Because he is young, and has no one to depend on.

Red clenches his teeth.  

“Eh? You’re from the circus?”

Hearing this innocent voice, Red can’t help but look up.

It was a kind looking boy wearing a large coat, the boy watches with interest.

His cheeks look rather plump.

He looks around my age.

Red looks at the young boy with a puzzled expression.

“It’s really great, the circus!”

“…”

“What tricks do you perform?”

Hearing this, Red feels a tightness in his heart.

“Nothing much…” --This guy who doesn’t know any tricks and does nothing!

The Ringmaster’s words resonate in his ear.

“Wow…the circus, it’s great. You can go to a lot of cities? And can see all sorts of people…it’s awesome!” The young boy continues talking without any prompting.

No matter which city I go to, and who I meet, it’s all the same to me.

Red rolls up his sleeve.

“…!!”

He knows that the boy’s expression has frozen.

A scary, red left arm covered in wrinkles.

“Erhm, that is, has…has something been done to your arm?”

“…”

The young boy looks at the silent Red with fear and turns around in the end, running away.

It has always been like this. Always.

He used to it.

Even though that is what he tells himself, he still feels a sharp pain in his small chest.

The quiet night seems to be able to absorb all sound.

The customers of the circus have gone back home, there is no one left. The circus members are going to sleep very soon as well.  

“Ah…!”

Red gave a cry and hid behind a tree.

Someone walked out of the circus tent, it was Cosmos.

I thought he already went to rest!

Cosmos looks drunk.

He was holding a beer bottle in one hand and walking unsteadily.  

“Ah~hh, I really can’t continue anymore!”

He does not greet anyone and walks to the member’s tent while talking to himself.

He’s not coming towards here. Red’s heart is pounding as he watches Cosmos quietly.

“I’m…not supposed to stay here…because I have a noble bloodline…” Cosmos, who was completely drunk, did not notice Red, who was hiding in the shadows of the trees, he simply continues walking unsteadily.

Red let out a sigh of relief and leaves the shadows of the trees.

Just like what the other members said. Cosmos will drink himself drunk every night, and complain non-stop.

--I’m not a person who should stay here Cosmos’ words echo.

This is not the place I belong to.

But, if you want to know where this place is, you are unable to find the answer.   All alone.

What am I doing in this sort of place? How long will I stay in a place like this?

His stomach growls.

W soup and bread would be nice.

Red feels that his situation is too tragic, and bites his lip.

He brushes the snow of himself and walks into the tent.

“!”

The prop box’s contents, which had been arranged properly, are scattered all over, like a thief has been through it.  

Red stares dumbfounded at the scattered props.

Before leaving the tent, he had already kept everything properly.

Members who have finished their work would not take the trouble to come back, they should be asleep now.

He could only think of one suspect.

--Cosmos.

The name appeared together with his anger.

It must be that drunkard.

In order to vent his dissatisfaction, he can do this sort of thing. Even then, if he leaves it like this, he would still get scolded by the Ringmaster the next morning.

--time to check the props.

If it was to vent anger, it is very possible for props to be thrown away.

The Ringmaster only thinks about money. He always thought that giving salary to the members and buying props were unnecessary.  

Even if one small ball was lost, he’ll definitely lose his temper. Then throw all the blame onto Red, who does the odd jobs.

Red picks up the things scattered on the ground.

The five big balls are all there. The cigar box used for magic tricks, red, blue, yellow, two each—

Just at this moment.

A kacha sound is emitted from a wooden box.

It is box in the corner of the room, big enough to hold an adult.

--who is it, don’t tell me Cosmos is hiding inside?!

An uncontrollable feeling of violence surges up inside him.

No wait, didn’t I see him return just now?

Then, what is this-

Red watches the box warily—

A large form slowly walks out from the shadows.

“D, dog--?”

Discovering something which he didn’t consider, caused Red  to be very shocked.

A huge dog had come out from the box.

Tea coloured fur mixed in with white fur which looked really soft.

On its neck was not a collar but a clown ring.

Which means, this dog belongs to the circus.

Maybe because it’s late at night, not only does it look sleepy, even its movements are dull.

So, it didn’t notice. The dog picked up a ball with a star pattern on the ground, and ran past Red , who was still in shock.  

“Ah, wait!”

If one ball is missing, it would mean a lot of trouble.  

Whose dog is it! Help me stop it!

Red runs after the dog in panic, out of the tent.

As Red ran through the snow, he felt as if he had seen that dog before.

Recently, a lot of new performers were hired. It should be the partner of one of the newcomers.

It should be a clown.

The circus is a gathering of wanderers.

It’s a place where people of different backgrounds and different goals gather.

And because the Ringmaster is prone to mood swings, the turnover rate of the circus is high.

Because of this, Red cannot remember everyone’s faces.  

They are people who are going to leave anyway—

That dog walked towards the darkness.

He is unable to catch up with the dog which can run through the snow easily, so the distance between and the dog grew bigger and bigger.

“Ah!”

Red’s foot sinks into the snow, causing him to fall over.

The cold sensation of the snow causes him to get up hurriedly.

If the prop is lost, I’ll be beaten up again, and I will not get anything to eat again.

His cheeks throb.

“I’m telling you to wait!” Red shouts.

The dog continues running single-mindedly, as if it did not hear the shouts.   In the darkness of the outdoors, he searches for the dog’s footprints, but has stopped running.

He is at his limit. “…”

Not only has he been hit, and kicked, his stomach is extremely empty well, there is also the freezing air and the snow which traps his feet.

He is unable to think about anything else.

Red collapses on to the snow, like he had turned limp.

And just like that, he flips over.

Red lies spread-eagled in the snow.

“Hah, hah!”

His rapid breathing could not slow down.

His heart is pounding furiously.

Snow falls onto Red .

His body is covered in white.

He’s cold, and tired, and heart-broken, and suffering—

--he can’t think of anything anymore.

PA!

“!!”

His face seems to be hit by something like a ball.

Red opens his eyes, and discovered that the dog that he should have lost was in front of him.

The dog seems to want to say something. It opens his mouth and pants.

“Wha, what?”

At this moment, the dog quickly stands up on its hind legs. ***

Then shakes its head vigorously.

“Ah---“

The clown tag shakes together with the dog’s movement.  

In the midst of the heavy snow, the clown tag shines under the dim street lights.

As it turns, it is as mystifying as the dances from another country.

Red stares dumbfounded at the sight.

Just then, the dog meets Red’s eyes.

That expression is very playful—

This mutt—

He finally understands why the dog ran out.

That right, he wants to play.

No, it should be he wants to tease me.

Even if he knew that—

Red picks up the ball dropped on the ground, and threw it towards the dog.

Even though it was meant as a small joke, the dog jumped lightly and catches the ball perfectly in mid-air with its mouth.

The dog puts down the ball in its mouth.

“Take this!”

Red picks up the ball. This time, he throws it further and harder.

In the air where snowflakes are drifting, the star shaped ball leaves its perfect trajectory.  

The dog ran across the ground like a typhoon and jumps towards the grey sky.

Just like it was dancing in the air, the dog catches the ball easily—Red is fascinated with such a scene.

He is very agitated.

The hatred and anger in the depths of his heart had melted—that was the feeling he had.

Red held onto that feeling, and threw the ball again and again.

The dog gracefully leapt through the air to grab the ball, as if it did not want to lose.

This elation was a feeling he did not experience before.

Red couldn’t help but shout and leap in joy.

I really want to stay on a stage like this. When he came to his senses, the pain and hunger pangs have decreased greatly.   ***

The person doing odd jobs needs to wake up very early.

“Okay, Red. This is the last one.”

“…”  

Red grumpily puts the bowl of soup and bread onto the trolley.

He just needs to send these to the Magician’s tent.

As long as he finishes this, then he can finally eat.

“Breakfast!”

“How slow!”

One of the performers glanced at Red expressionlessly.

“…Sorry.”

Breakfast is sent late because the performers are not popular.

Eating order is determined by popularity.

It looks like this performer’s patience is going to run out soon.  

This fact would probably irritate him even more.

Red leaves the tent he just entered. He doesn’t want to be taken apart.

Even then, Cosmos still shouted at him this morning.

--Why am I not the first one? You bastard, you spoke about the previous incident, did you?

Red hurriedly ran away from the angry looking Cosmos.

If he got beaten up again, he wouldn’t be able to take it.

Red breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, he can eat his own meal in the corner of the kitchen.

“Hurry up and finish eating!”

The chef said these unkind words, like he did not want to see Red at all.

Because of Red’s ugly arm, a lot of people hate him. He’s used to such cold looks already. Red holds the bowl of soup.

His tightened stomach felt a bit warmer because of the soup.

Red quickly left the tent after finishing and distributing the food.

The person doing odd jobs has a lot of work.

I need to finish them quickly.

Red picks up the performer’s clothes which have been drying at the corner of the tent.

Using his immobile left hand to support the clothes, and using his right hand to tightly hug the bundle.  

“Okay…”

All he has to do with bring these to the backstage and stack them piece by piece in an orderly manner.

Because he’s already used to it, he can quickly finish the job with only his right hand.

Sometimes, performers will walk past him.

But no one will talk to him.

Red will not talk to anyone as well.

Every day, in the backstage, he is used like a tool.

These sort of lonely jobs are also very common.

Common—

At that moment, someone nudges him from behind.

“!!!”

He turns around in shock, and saw the dog, with ragged breathing, behind him.

“…Huh, it’s you again!”

Red gave a cold look at the mutt staring at him with a wet nose.

Maybe it was satisfied with the reply, the dog sat down next to Red.

After that snowy night, the dog will always pick the times when Red is alone to be next to him.

Red ignored the dog, and turned his back on it to fold the clothes.

The dog stayed next to him quietly.

He can feel the dog breathing behind him, and sometimes, it was very clear that it had yawned. Who’s going to turn back?  

Red continued to sit with his back to the dog.

And simply continued with his work.

Quietly, he wanted to suppress his feelings.

Actually—really, he wants to pat it.

He wants to play with the dog.

He wants to be really close to it.

The elation he felt that snowy night, replayed itself in his mind over and over again.

It was the first time since he came to the circus.

That he can feel happy from the bottom of his heart. But—

“Strange? What happened to that acrobat? (The one who balances on the ball)

“Ohh, that one? He resigned yesterday.”

“Is it? He should have said something—whatever, it doesn’t matter much anyway.”

Hearing the conversation of the performers walking past him, Red clenches his teeth.

It is difficult to tell when the performers will leave one after another.  

The dog’s owner will leave one day, and go to another place.

That means that he would not be able to see the dog again.

Red could not tolerate it anymore, and stole a backward glance at the dog.

The dog’s good senses picked that up and shook its head.

This pitiful action, made Red feel very warm inside.

Something warm gushes out from the depths of his soul.

Red stops the hand folding the clothes, then clenches his fist, looking away from the dog.

I can’t get close to him.

Definitely not. The presence of the dog behind him pains him, Red thought of it that way.

This dog will leave me soon, together with its owner.

If I accept it, it will be especially painful when we say goodbye.

It would definitely be as painful as stabbing a knife through his chest, an unimaginable pain.

It may also be as painful as swallowing a rock.

No matter what, it will only increase the feelings of loneliness.

Once he thinks about this, it feels like he fell into a deep chasm.

So I will turn my back to it.

Red concentrates on his job once more.

Red does not talk to it, does not pat it, and even more, did not pay attention to it at all—

Even then—

The dog keeps loitering behind him. ***

“Ka!” Red’s face comes into contact with hard object. It’s a ball used in transformation magic.

“Ow…”  

He bears the pain and lifts up his head, only to come into eye contact with Cosmos, who is filled with nastiness.

“Drat, it’s because the ball slipped from my hand! Having been touched by such a dirty hand, the ball is really dirty! If the stunt fails because of this, then it is definitely your fault.”

“…”

He meticulously polishes the props every day. But, not just Cosmos, many others like to blame Red.

If things cannot be performed properly by the person, the props are blamed.

They’re so shameless.

It’s too much.

Red stares disgustedly at Cosmos, whose back is facing him. He had taken off his wig and thrown it on the floor.

Even though Cosmos often finds faults with Red, Cosmos is in a very bad mood these few days.

Because a clown more popular than Cosmos has appeared.

That would be the dog’s owner.  All of the clown’s techniques are well executed; his amusement tactics are unique; and the special canine partner, both of them are very popular.

His popularity continues to increase. Now, there is a rumor that many returning customers specially come to watch his show.

“It looks like Cosmos may not be able to snatch his No. 1 spot back.”

He remembered that someone has whispered this sentence before—

“Oi!”

The low, angry voice, made Red jump.

It came from Cosmos, who had stuck his head in through the Circus’ curtains.

And I thought he had gone outside already.

His heart beats furiously.

He’s going be get badly beaten up again.

“I have something to talk about with a useless fellow like you.  Hurry up and come!”  

Red stands up slowly.

He wanted to reject Cosmos, but if Red did not listen, he will be on the receiving end of more violent beatings.  

With no abilities, a left arm which cannot move.

No one will protect a troublesome person like Red.

Red can only surrender to the flow of events.

Cosmos grabbed Red’s arm and dragged him to the small pocket of trees outside.  

After removing the wig, Cosmos’ golden hair drapes around his face, giving off an even more disgusting feeling.  

“Oi, you, seem really close to that dog, right!”

“D,dog…?”

For a short moment, Red did not know what Cosmos was talking about. But after a while, he realised that Cosmos was referring to the dog which kept following him.

“I’m referring to that smelly dog with a collar around its neck. Listen, you must not tell anyone!”

Cosmos lowers his volume and whispers next to Red’s ear.

Then, he shoves a small bag to Red.

Even though he was very reluctant, but Red accepts it anyway.

“What, is this….”

Touching it lightly, he realises that it’s hard. With a very bad feeling, Red looks into the bad and gasps in shock.  

There was a lot of crushed glass in the bag.

Reflected in Cosmos’ light blue eyes was the expression of cruelty.

“Mix these things into the dog’s food.”

For a while, Red does not understand the implications behind the statement.

“Eh, ehh? If I did that—“

Red got slapped, hard.

Cosmos started to shout at Red, who was stunned by the blow.

“No nonsense from you! It’ll be fine as long as you do as I say. Unless brat!”

His face, which was hit, hurt a lot.

Then, Cosmos’ statements started circulating in his head.

The dog, whose tag kept spinning, in the heavy snow.

The dog, which will use its nose to nudge his back when he’s stacking the clothes.

The dog, which will quietly follow him when he’s moving props.

“…I won’t!”

He says it easily.

“Hah?”

“I won’t do this sort of thing!”

Red throws the bag back to Cosmos.

The bag full of glass, lands at Cosmos’ feet with a crack.

Cosmos runs a hand through his hair, and breathes in impatiently.

Then he takes a big step forward.

His light blue eyes giving off a fierce look, Cosmos brutally gives a kick in Red’s direction.

After that, was a flurry of kicks.

Red collapses with a groan.

Chest, stomach, leg—

His body is in so much pain that it feels like it’s falling apart, but the blows keep coming.

But Red continues clenching his teeth.

He will never say “Yes”—even if he was killed.

He swore to himself. His vision starts to blur.

Ah, am I going to die—

Just as he loses consciousness, he hears a dog barking.   ***

“Urgh…”

Red gets up slowly. Suddenly, pain courses through his body.

Slowly, he becomes more alert.

“Ah…”

Red remembers.  

Cosmos took him outdoors, told him to feed glass to the dog, then because Red refused, he got violently beaten up—but it feels like he had heard a dog barking…

What he heard before he lost consciousness should not be that dog’s barking.

Red felt a chill go down his spine.

He had—a bad feeling.

What if, it came to save him.

If that was the case.

Cosmos wants to kill that dog. It’s possible that something had been done already.

The sun had already set, and the surroundings are getting dark.

Red stands up slowly and shakily made his way back to the Circus.

After entering the tent, he crossed the backstage to glance at the stage.

“Ah--”

He felt extremely relieved.

The dog’s performing on the stage with its owner.

Leaping to catch the ball, the tag turning round and round—

Red breathed a sigh of relief seeing its energetic self.

And I thought Cosmos had done something to it, it looks fine.

The bark that he heard before he lost consciousness must be an illusion.

Maybe it was because he felt relieved, Red, who displayed no interest in the performances before, stood quietly by the curtains watching the stage.

The dog’s owner took a cup out from the box and swung the cup around in an amusing manner.

Then threw it towards the dog. But, the dog turned in the other direction with a ‘humph’, as if it was ignoring him.

The dog’s owner shrugged his shoulders, and—stuck both his hands on his face.

This hilarious look caused some outburst amongst the audience.

The dog’s owner then took the ball with the star shaped pattern.

“Ah…”

Red exclaimed to himself as the memories of that snowy night resurfaced.

The dog caught the ball which the owner threw very gracefully.

Loud claps ensued as the audience saw how experienced the dog was when it caught the ball.

The dog’s owner was indeed more popular than Cosmos, his tricks were varied and exquisite.

Sometimes hilarious, other times elegant and showy.  

The audiences’ eyes were always filled with light; they laughed till they fell over, and they wouldn’t stop clapping.

He was able to transform the rowdy audience into one entity.

Everyone was absorbed with his performance.

Being able to perform with such an owner must be a very happy thing.

The dog performed, full of life.

It was so bright.

The clown, and the dog—

Red couldn’t help but squint.

It was too bright.

The customers and the dog, they loved the clown on the stage.

It was an incomprehensible feeling.  

Love, and being loved—this had nothing to do with him.

He would not love anyone, and no one would love him.

Even though it was right in front to him, it needed to be treated like something that happens in a land far away.

“Urgh…”

Something warm is rising up in his chest.

Red tries to keep it down. Possessing an ugly arm, abandoned by his parents, isolated by others in the circus, and having to worry about violence every day.

One day, there was a dog.

There was a dog.

At my side where no one would approach, there was a dog.

Until the day, I always thought it was okay to be alone.

But it’s not like that—

I was only forcing myself. If I did not do that, I would not be able to live on. The situation happening in front of me, part of a bright world—is that “love”?

If it is like that—then I want to obtain “love”

I envy those with “love”. I am too lonely, too miserable.

Even though it’s just right in front of me, I can’t touch it.

I am unable to obtain it.

When I realized it.

My face was covered in tears…

After the performance, the clown and dog returned to the backstage.

“Bark!”

The dog discovers Red, and bounds towards him happily.

Thump thump, his heart is pounding.

What, what should I do? What should I—

Many emotions are swirling in his heart.

The image of the brightness of the dog and the clown on stage, surfaced in Red’s mind.

“Shoo, go away!”

Red kicks hard, and sends the dog flying.

Bark! The dog whimpers and falls on the floor. “Ah--”

Red is stunned.

I, I didn’t want—to do this sort of thing…

He quickly runs away from the place.

He just kept running and running, unable to control his sad emotions.

So envious.

So jealous—

He did not know what to do anymore.

Red, who was confused, did not realised that he had just brushed past Cosmos.

He also did not realise that Cosmos was currently rubbing his leg, which had been bitten by a dog, with a vengeful look. ***

Ever since that day, the dog never returned to Red’s side.

It was expected, because he suddenly sent it flying.

But he did not feel any pain.

In fact, he thought it was better that way.

Because he did not want to see them.

Just hurry up and go to another place, stay out of my sight.

This circus is just a temporary stop.

The performers will appear before disappearing one after another.

Because it’s all temporary, so there cannot be any expectations. It will only cause pain.

Therefore, do not get attached to others, and do not let others get attached to me.

But—something aches in heart.

“Red, I’m going out to buy something, come with me as well!”

“Yes!” Red was called out by the chef, into the streets.

The streets are filled with Christmas decorations, it was very lively outside.

In the more prosperous stores lining the road, there were many customers.

There were also many roadside stalls, trying to promote their wares.  

Everyone is looking at presents happily.

Children circle innocently around their parents.

All of this feels a world away.

The chef would not talk to him as well.

Red walks on the prosperous streets silently.

In this place, he could feel the difference between him and the happy people.

I am—very lonely.

But, it isn’t that bad.

It’s fine like this.

After shopping, he put the mountain of bread, meat, vegetables, wine and other things onto the trolley and pushed it back to the circus. He sees the dog sleeping beside the heater.

Normally, just before the performance, it would always be practicing together with its owner.

What’s wrong, is it not feeling well?

Red hesitates in approaching the dog.

He remembered that he had sent the dog flying.

I did something really horrible to it.

It’s still a better decision not to get myself involved.

But—

He slowly approaches the dog, still feeling hesitant.

The dog is lying on its side, with no energy in its limbs.

The coat covering the dog must belong to its owner. Even though the coat is really old, once you look closely, it’s actually of high quality.

The dog’s chest rises and falls. The dog, which is breathing deeply as it sleeps, now looks older than he imagined.

And very weak as well.

Red stretches his arm towards the dog, he is worried.

--it’s okay if I just touch it a bit, right?

But I could be hated already.

Even though he felt uneasy, but he still reached out regardless.  

He nervously touched the dog’s body.

The dog did not move.

Slowly stroking its body, the dog suddenly opened its eyes.

“Ah…”

I must have woken it up.

Seeing Red standing there, the dog got up quickly.

Watching Red’s face, it quickly used its back legs to stand up, panting as it did then. Then, it collapsed on the floor.

It must want to perform tricks for him.

The dog rolls around listlessly.

Red continuously rubs the body of the dog, which had fallen down once again.

He wants to make up for sending it flying.

Can this intent reach—

The dog looks comfortable, and licks Red’s hand.

It licked the hand which everyone was disgusted with, the left hand.

Red felt all warm inside.

Like he had been forgiven.

He strokes the dog again.

“If you’re healthy again, if you get well, if-- ”

He said it naturally. It was almost like a prayer.

Red concentrates on stroking the dog.

Then, there was a taste of sunlight.

The dog which was being stroked quietly.

It was as if time had stopped between them.

Just then, the bell announcing the start of the performance rings.

The dog’s ears perked up instantly.

It got up quickly and ran to its owner’s side.

Seeing it like that, Red breathes a sign of relief.

Maybe it was just a little tired…

He holds his hand tenderly.

If it’s possible, he would want to touch it more. ***

It was still snowing heavy up till yesterday, but today, there were no clouds in the sky.

“Ah…”

Red, who had finished washing the clothes, discovered the dog’s owner sitting by himself under a tree near the tent.

It’s Christmas Day today. The performers have all gone out to the street to publicise their performance.

The man in the clown suit did not move at all, just like a puppet which had lost its strings.

The man just silently stared at the ground in front of him.

--What is he doing?

If he’s just resting, then this scene is weird.

But, it has nothing to do with me.

Red will not approach the performers on his own, because they will think Red is disgusting, and ignore him, or order him around like a servant.

But no matter what, he is still concerned. He is the person who is partnered with the dog.

What kind of person is he?

Red moves closer to the man.

“--!”

He almost stopped breathing.

In the man’s line of sight is a hole—the dog is lying in it.

“Is it dead?”

The man stared at Red, with a rather shocked expression.

From the clown’s makeup, he can see that his eyes are a deep gold colour.

“It’s dead.”

The man replied, loneliness evident in his voice.

Then, he started to pile soil on top of the dog.

Red watches all of this quietly.

“…those are all bruises!”

Even under the fur, it can be seen that the dog is covered in bruises that would make anyone wince.

It spoke plainly about how the dog met its end.

--there was only one possibility.

Cosmos.

That guy killed it. A boiling anger surged forth.

Endlessly churning, boiling vigorously.

“It was definitely done by that guy Cosmos. Because, you’re more popular than he is. As long as someone is more popular than him, he would not let it go. His performance skills are obviously bad, but he’s good at doing these things!”

Red started to say without pause, as if he had been possessed.

Compared to the agitated Red, the man replied blandly.

“It had been with me for a very long time, so it wouldn’t have much time left anyway. Forget it.”

“…”

The dog’s body is now totally buried in the soil; the man gently put the ball with the star pattern on the ground, just like a gravestone.

--Forget it.

Hearing this, Red realises that he is very disappointed.

Why, isn’t he angry? Why doesn’t he hate Cosmos?

The fury he felt burned more strongly than before. Red, who can’t do anything, found himself unable to divert any of these feelings.

“Then you’re not taking revenge?”

“If I did that, I’ll be chased out by the Ringmaster, which would mean that whatever I did before would be wasted.”

After saying that, the man put his palms together in front of the grave.

--Che.

What is this.

His partner had been murdered!

How can he be so calm?

Even I hate Cosmos this much already.

At least he should mention something about revenge, right?

Opposite from what Red was feeling at this moment, the man is very calm.

“I’m an outsider anyway. I’ll be leaving for another place after Christmas tomorrow…”

“I see.”

Behind his peaceful answer, Red’s emotions are in turmoil.

He totally regretted it.

To be touched by the performance of such a person, he’s really an idiot.

The man who would not even shed a tear, it’s too much.

The dog’s owner is actually this sort of person.

He really wants to leave quickly. But he is unable to look away from the dog’s grave.

“Hmm?”

The man only looks at Red now.

“Then again, who are you?”

“I’m the one doing odd jobs here…I bought your meals before.”

“I’m not good at remembering faces. Ah, now that I’ve looked closely, aren’t you covered in bruises too?!”

The man licked his own finger and rubbed it against Red’s face.

Facing this sort of unexpected action, Red dodges.  

“Wah! It’s gross! Don’t use your saliva, idiot!”

“It’s antiseptic. Were you hit by Cosmos too?”

“You’re irritating!”

Even though that was the case, he did not want to admit it.

“Do you have friends?”

“You’re irritating!!”

Red shouts.

“This sort of place…I definitely leave once I grow up, so friends or whatever, I don’t need them!”

He remembers the boy’s expression, who had run away after seeing his left arm.

A terrified and disgusted expression.

I don’t need friends or anything like that—

Red is shocked.

The man used both his hands—and squeezed his face.

“What the heck are you doing!”

“You don’t have any energy?”

The man asks, surprised.

Red has no idea what he’s talking about. It was infuriating.

Then, he recalled that the man used that gesture to create an outburst of laughter amongst the audience.  

“I’m sorry, I don’t like clowns. In fact, I dislike them?”

“Aiyaya!”

The man smiles.

“I dislike audience and children who don’t laugh as well!”

“Hmph!”

Red just stares at the dog’s grave. As he thought, since he couldn’t understand, so he can’t leave.

“You…why aren’t you crying? You lived with this guy. It’s not possible not to feel sadness?

When he realised it, the clown was not around anymore.

“?”

As he turned, he found that the man had used a rope to hand himself off the nearby tree.

“I’m so sad I could die.”

“Stop it!”

It could be an act, such a scary feeling.

I have a feeling, this guy, doesn’t feel right…?

“You see, I, can’t cry.”

The man removed the rope from his neck, and explains blandly.

“Maybe it’s already dry. No tears can come out.”

“What kind of explanation is that!”

This person is hard to comprehend.

Red’s attention returns to the grave.

Then again—

“This guy, what’s its name?”

The clown is silent. “I touched it yesterday, and it licked me, it felt so warm!”

That dog which licked him happily.

That dog did not care about my ugly hand at all.

“So today, I also…”

The words are at the tip of his tongue, his whole body is shaking, tears fall without warning.

I also wanted to pat it today. Like, do your best today as well.

“Why, only having this sort of relationship with it, why am I crying…!”

He can’t hold it in anymore.

Red lets out all the feelings that he kept in.

“Wahhh-------------!!”

This is the first time he cried out loud.

The tears flowing down his cheeks feel hot.

“I see.”

The man watches Red, who is crying.

“You’re Allen’s friend.”

--Friend.

This word kept circling around in his mind.

That dog was actually named Allen.

I—have never called that name before.

He recalls the warmth when he stroked the dog.

He wanted to call out its name.

He wanted to be close to it.

Red cried until he was exhausted, and even fell asleep. And the man, just like a puppet with broken strings, just sat next to him. ***

“Urm…” A comfortable swaying—

Red wakes up from a peaceful nap.

How warm…

What, is this…

“Ah!”

Red realises that he’s being carried by the Clown.

He also knows how red his face is.

“Put, put me down!”

As Red said so, the Clown smiles while his body bobs up and down, walking lightly. It wasn’t long before they returned to the tent.

The Clown put Red next to the heater.

“What, what are you doing…”

Even after Red asked, the man does not reply. Not just that, his legs are shaking, like they have been frozen.

“What? Are you cold?”

The man takes out his own coat puts it around him, his expression warms up and he smiles slightly.

“…? You want to say that you’re warmer?...You think you’re acting a mime performance?!”

Then, the man wraps his coat around Red.

It was the coat which covered the dog yesterday.

It’s warm…

A smell just like the sun wafts out. That guy’s smell…

The temperature of the coat, caused him to remember the dog’s warmth. Tears well up, this time, a silk cap was pushed on him.  

The silk cap is slightly larger than Red head, and soft.

“Wait, what are you doing, really?!”

The Clown smiled as usual, after that, the Clown passes over the circus’ flyer. ***

The streets on Christmas are more lively than before.

The street lights are decorated and people are outdoors, carrying the goods needed for Christmas celebrations.

The smell of meat and bread mixes together with the noisy crowd.  

Cheerful cries are heard.

Surrounded by the excitement, Red and the man walk along the streets.

The performers are showing off their skills in the open area.

Red, who was forced to follow, passes out flyers next to the performing Clown.

“…Why do I have to do these sort of things…whatever, I’m supposed to do odd jobs anyway.”

Even though he is not used to being in public, but the coat which the Clown gave him covers up with ugly left arm, so he ignores the stares which others people are giving.

“Wah, look quickly!”

“It’s a clown!”

“It’s great, so vibrant!”

The people who were passing by stopped in their tracks, and smiled at the clown’s performance.

Red, who was standing nearby, had to admit.

This man’s performance has to be the best one so far.

A crying boy approaches.

Even with his mother trying to comfort him, the boy does not stop crying.

The clown gracefully appears in front of the boy.

Then he smiles, pulling a balloon out from his sleeve. Then he inflates the balloon and ties a knot.

What he made was a balloon dog.

The clown passes the balloon to the boy, the boy stopped sniffling and his face is radiant.

It’s perfect.

The children around the clown quickly gathered around him.

“I want one too, I want one too~” “Me too~!”

The clown is surrounded by smiling children.

Red glances over at the clown while distributing the fliers, and the clown turned in his direction.

“What, what is it?”

The clown did a funny action, first walking around with a spring in his step, then doing a handstand, with just one hand.

The people who were watching clapped.

The clown turned once before standing up again, then danced around in circles.

“Wa..wah!”

Then suddenly spread out his arms and used two fingers to point at Red.

Yes, like he meant “He’s up next”

The surrounding audience watched Red expectantly.

“Eh? Ehh?”

Red, who was suddenly pointed out, is stunned.

Seeing his stunned state, the clown tilted his head and shrugged his shoulders, as if he can’t help it.  

Seeing this action, the audience laughed as well.

They thought he had no courage—

Red, competitive by nature, flares up.

I’ll do it, just you see!

Red puts the fliers aside, and stepped on the ground.

The scenery went by in a circle.

A flip in the air. He’s still confident on the nimbleness of his body. After landing lightly on the ground like a cat, the audience clapped and cheered.

The clown crossed his arms, like he’s considering something.

Then he snaps his fingers.

He gently lifts up one leg and on tip-toe, slowly turned one round. This amusing ballet move caused the audience to laugh.

If it like that, I’ll do it too.

“Everyone stand back please!”

After saying so, Red did a little jog and with a push of his arm, executed a somersault, and jumped back up again lightly.  

This showy move attracted more applause and cheers.

The clown then pretended he was so shocked that he fell over, which bought about more laughter.

The clown got up slowly, and smiled at Red. And Red also had a smile on his face, although he did not know when it happened.

They bowed deeply to the audience and loud claps could be heard around them.

Being clapped for, and making people happy, this was the first time it has happened.

The clown passed the silk cap over.

Red held the cap out and some of the audience threw coins in.

My skills were recognised?

Red started to blush—

“Kid, what’s your name?”

Turning around, he sees a man wearing a coat on top of his black priest clothing.

The silver cross on his chest is shining.

He was a big man, Red raises his head, feeling rather nervous. The man puts money into his cap, and watches him.

His eyes were sharp—like they can see through everything.

Even though he’s wearing priest robes, the man gives off a scary threatening aura.

Red is shocked, and stares dumbly at the man.  

His deep red hair, the colour of blood, and covering half his face, is tied in a ponytail,  

The man’s stare seems to stick onto his body, and feels cold.

“Didn’t you hear me? Your name.”

This pressuring sentence caused Red to jolt. I don’t have a name.  Telling himself that, Red ignores the red haired man.

“Oi!”

He acts like he did not hear the man’s voice and continues to give out flyers while saying promotional statements.

“You’re called Allen?”

“No!”

He mumbled, giving a negative.  

He actually said I’m Allen? What is this man saying.

Red glanced at this man.

Allen is the dog’s—

“Not a dog.”

The man replies like he can see through Red’s thoughts.

“…Hah?”

“…If that’s not your name then forget it, listen up, brat, don’t get too close to Mana.”

The red haired man says before disappearing amongst the crowd.

What is up with that…

The man is different from all the people he had seen so far.

What kind of person is he?

Red watches the man leave, his heart pounding.

After he had distributed all the fliers, Red sees the clown.

“Mana…?”

“Hmm?”

The clown reacts to Red’s words.

“Mana?”

He asks the clown. The clown nods.

“Hmm?” “Are you called Mana?”

“Yes.”

Thinking about it, Red finds out that he does not know the clown’s name yet.

“How did you know my name?”

“Just now, a strange man with red hair wearing priest robes spoke with me. That guy told me ‘Don’t get close to Mana’--”

After saying that, Mana’s expression became weird.

It was Red’s first time seeing his serious expression, and felt a little shocked.

Then he suddenly ran off.

“Mana?!”

Red follows in panic.

“Mana, what’s wrong?”

“I need to find that person!”

Mana looks around frantically.

But there was no trace of the red haired man in priest robes.

“Mana, he can’t be found anymore!”

Mana does not listen to Red’s words at all.

So he runs around the streets aimlessly, with no results.

The sun had already set.

The circus performance is going to start soon, it’s time to return.

Mana’s shoulders slump in disappointment.

“…Why do you spend so much effort looking for him, do you know him?” After Red asked the question, Mana replies with loneliness.

“That could be my little brother.”

“Little brother…?”

Mana, not giving up, continued to search through the crowd. He steps forward shakily.

“Ah, wait!”

Mana is still focused on searching the crowd.

Red’s voice did not reach him.

Just then, a horse carriage rushes towards them.

Within a split second, Red pushes Mana into a nearby drain.

“Wah…be careful!”

“…”

“You almost died!”

Even though Mana was reprimanded by Red, his eyes never leave the crowd.

“Seriously, I can’t handle you.”

Red brings him to a park nearby to wash off the dirt acquired when they fell into the drain.

Mana also removed his clown makeup and took off his wig.

Red couldn’t help but stare at Mana’s face.

This was his first time seeing Mana’s real face.

A sharp nose, and a face with wrinkles which showed his age.

And the feature which leaves the biggest impression, a pair of bright gold eyes. Mana meets Red’s stare.

Being stared by Red so much will still make him feel embarrassed, Mana turns away.

“Really, you need to be more careful. You, if I didn’t save you, you would have died!”

“Death is really such a dislikeable thing!”

Mana said, laughing.

“So, you have to be more careful!”

“I guess you’re right, I apologise. Ahh, today’s weather is really good!”

“…what does this matter have to do with weather?”

“The evening sun during this sort of day is the most beautiful.”

“As—I—said, I wasn’t talking about that, I want you to be more careful! I know you’re worried about your brother, but!”

Seeing Red looking rather miffed, Mana smiles slightly.

“You know, I’m only seventeen.”

“Hah?”

Mana looks like a middle aged man no matter how you looked at him.

It could be that Mana sensed what Red was thinking, he smiles, looking rather troubled.

“When I woke up one morning, I realized that I have became a middle aged man. I don’t know the reason at all. But, I was a seventeen year old youth the day before. At the beginning, when I saw my own face in the mirror, I was really shocked!”

Red directed a weird look at Mana, who had suddenly said something weird.

So he really is a rather weird—no, really weird person.

“Even then, after I stared at my looks for a while, I still managed to calm down, then I felt something was strange.”

Red just listens silently without saying anything. Mana felt that Red must be waiting for him to continue, so he continues speaking.

“I have a little brother, but he is nowhere to be found.”

Mana quietly leans towards Red.

“I will say this to you only…”

He moves his face closer to Red’s ear and whispers.

“I am being chased. If I get caught, I’ll definitely be killed.”

“By whom?”

“I think it’s someone called the Millennium Earl, he is a person who can turn humans in AKUMA. Because there are AKUMA everywhere, you’ll need to stay alert.”

Then Mana places a finger over his lips.

This action definitely belongs to a child, this sort of behaviour does not suit him. Red feels that this person is not just abnormal, he could be suffering from some illness.

“My brother must have been separated from me. I must find him. Because if I have turned into this sort of middle aged man, even if he sees me, he won’t recognize me. I need to go and find him…so I need to be alone, and begin my life of wandering.”

“Is that so?”

Red, who had been silent the whole time, speaks.  

“Your little brother could have abandoned you.”

He says this subconsciously.

After the sentence left his mouth, Red is shocked at himself.

“If, if it’s true, what do you plan to do…”

Because of the ugly left arm, you were sold to the circus.

That was what he heard from the Ringmaster.

Being pulled into the circus for an unknown reason, and constantly bullied after that.

Being loathed because of his hideous left arm.

The members who treated him like he’s an object.

It only left disgusting memories.

So he shields away from any relationships that have to do with him.

Because I have been hated by everyone.

Even my parents—abandoned me.

But even a person like me, still had a dog to keep me company. But, it was killed.

The feeling of happiness only stayed for a while.

The painful memories up till now resurfaced in an instant, and it showed in his choice of words.

Red knew what was true sadness and Mana just watched the sky quietly.

The sky was dyed beautifully by the evening sun.

The mix of red and orange, reflected in the snow on the ground, is very dazzling. The rays of the sun lit up the plants, trees and people, changing slowly.

“How beautiful!”

Mana praises. “I love beautiful worlds the best.”

Mana says, yet he looks like he had cried. ***

The time for the performance is nearing. When they returned from the streets, they found a large crowd.

Perhaps it was to get good seats, everyone arrived early.

Entering the circus tent, Red is shocked.

He realises that Cosmos is waiting there.

He is wearing the clown getup, his arms crossed, smiling to himself.

The peace obtained from the time he spent with Mana disappeared without a trace.

This bastard—it was this bastard who killed Allen.

Yet Cosmos is still looking around happily.

“What happened to your partner?”

Mana tilts his head.

“…Who, are you? I’m, not very good at remembering faces…”

Cosmos expression distorts suddenly  

“~~~~?! I’m Cosmos!”

“If many customers come today, it’ll be really great~~~”

Saying that, Mana walks away and disappears to the other side of the canvas.

His steps are light, giving people the impression that he had forgotten his dog’s death.

…Mana may think it’s alright, but I will not think that way.

Red glares at Cosmos.

“…You killed it, didn’t you?”

“Hah?”

Cosmos looks at Red.

“The dog’s dead. It’s body full of wounds. The only person who would do it is you!” “Of course that’s impossible! Calm down, Red. Haha—hmm, that’s right, that’s right. Hey—everyone! Let’s hear what Red just said!”  

Hearing the commotion, the other circus members came over.

Cosmos surveys his surroundings with a smile.  

“It looks like that cute dog is dead. And, it was Red who killed it.”

“Wha…!”

Hearing Cosmos words, Red sucked in a breath of cold air.

“You were performing some tricks with that clown during the day, weren’t you? You may have felt that that dog was in the way, so you killed it to be its replacement!”

“How could I have done that!”

When he was about to say—that it was rubbish, Red felt it.

The other members are giving him cold stares.

He also knows that he is shaking.

--In this place, I’m just a burden. No one would believe me.

His feelings of rage have reached his limit.

“Arghhh!”

He picks up a nearby plank and swings it at Cosmos with all of his strength. But he can only use one hand, and a scrawny child cannot release that much power.

“Ugh!”

Red sighs in irritation, and Cosmos shouts exaggeratedly while holding his shoulder.  

“AHHHH!”

Hearing the sound, the Ringmaster rushes over.

“What’s wrong, Cosmos!”

Cosmos jumps towards the Ringmaster’s stomach, saying.

“That bastard, actually used a plank to hit me! Argh…my hand…”

The Ringmaster glares at Red with fury in his eyes, and used the plank, which had dropped on the ground, to hit him. “Ah!”

Then he repeatedly used the plank to beat up Red, who had fallen on the ground.

He did it until the plank broke, and angrily threw the broken part at Red.  

“You, you bastard…you’re just a useless person!”

He glares at Red on the ground, vein popping.

Anger had caused his fat body to shake.

“I can’t tolerate it anymore. Throw him into the animal cage!”

The Ringmaster speaks like he’s going to abandon Red. Red can tell.

--He didn’t even ask for the reason.

To everyone, the truth is not important at all.

For matters concerning me, to everyone—

A boiling anger overflows.

“Okay, come here!”

The Ringmaster reaches out, like he wants to grab him. But Red escapes easily and rushes at Cosmos again.

Anger had caused the scene in front of him to turn red.

Whatever it is, I don’t care.

He just felt that this cannot be forgiven.

He remembers the dog’s corpse, covered in bruises.

Allen jumping around energetically. Always following behind him. And he would even lick the left hand that everyone is disgusted with.

At least, let me take revenge for him.

Even though I’m not his owner.

Even though I’ve only been contact with it for a short time.

But it dying just like that, it definitely cannot be ignored.

If reasons can be said, there are simply too many! Red silently glanced at his blood red left arm.

Even though this ugly left arm can barely move, but it is as heavy and as hard as lead.

If it’s this—

Red jumps up with all his might.

Twisting his body in his air, he adds a flip.

Then he swings his left arm towards Cosmos’ skull.

He put all the power into his left arm.

He wants to kill him.

With a loud noise, the hard objects collided—

Light shards shine in the air.

“Ah---”

The shining shards attracted Red’s attention, he was shocked.

The person who collapsed was not Cosmos, but Mana.

Mana, who should have gone to the stage, had returned, and even rushed out to protect Cosmos.

“Mana!”

The light shards slowly disappeared on Mana’s head.

“No…you can’t kill him…”

Blood started to flow from Mana’s head.

“You can’t do something that tragic…”

At this time, Mana is still smiling.

His face is now dyed red with blood, with Mana smiling, it’s like he is shedding blood red tears.

“Why…”

He cannot understand.

I need to talk some sense into this bastard.

Even though his dog died, he still can smile so stupidly and even protected the murderer! Red turns angrily towards Mana.

“Why must you be so calm! Why must you protect a bastard like Cosmos!”

Red is sitting on Mana and used his left arm to hit him again.

“Ah…”

For an instant, Mana’s eyes lose his focus.

But he regains his smile quickly.

“Don’t smile! Don’t smile anymore!”  

Red hits Mana again. Again and again—

Every time he swings his red arm, light shards will dance around together with the blood flowing out of Mana’s head

He can’t move his hand anymore.

“Thank you…for making my friend so happy…”

That was what he heard.

Why, why, why.

He couldn’t think anymore. He’s just, just saying what he believed in.

His body is getting heavier.

Mana gently placed his hand on Red’s head.

“Allen is…a very lonely dog in the circus. In the beginning…he didn’t know any tricks, and was treated as a burden…at that time, he was probably…very lonely.”

“What, that is…”

Isn’t that just like me—did that dog actually notice?

“After meeting you, Allen was very happy…”

Mana stretched out his hand shakily.

“But, don’t spread the tragedy anymore…”

“Mana…?”

Red watches Mana. “Tragedy…tra,gedy, is…”

Something is not right about him.

Mana is like a broken puppet, with broken speech.

His expression is rather blank.

It felt like something important had broken when he spoke—

Red is trapped by a scary thought—

That’s right, I…used this left hand to hit him many times.

Mana is covered in blood.

His head, unbelievably, is scattered with light shards.

“Red! Stop it right now!”

Hearing the Ringmaster’s voice, Red is jolted back to reality.

Two circus members heard the Ringmaster’s orders. They grabbed him and pulled him away forcefully.

The Ringmaster shouted orders as he left the tent.

“No! Mana! Mana…!”

He keeps his eyes on Mana as he is dragged away.

“Bring him to the animal cage!”

As Red was being bought out, Mana slowly opens his mouth.

“Tra…gedy…”

Followed by laughter.

“Will…attract…the Earl.”

Cheers from the audience could be heard from the stage which should not have been opened yet.

Cosmos, as well as the other performers who had been watching the commotion caused by Red, turned towards the stage.

Continuous clapping and cheering could be heard.

The wind blows the curtains apart and the performers can now see what was happening on stage. There were countless number of audiences and on the stage was a fat gentleman.

Sharp ears, large mouth and wearing a tall silk hat.

“Who is that guy…”

Cosmos takes a step forward.

“The first act should be done by me. I will to chase him out!”

Saying that, he ran out.

The gentleman used a cane adorned with a small pumpkin to tap on the ground, and bowed to the audience once he was done.

Following that, the audience in the stand turned into something short and fat. It looked like something out of this world, and was very terrifying.  

“Wahhh!!”

The members screamed.

Mana, who had collapsed backstage, opened his eyes—and saw what was happening.

“Ah…”

The gentleman made eye contact with Mana, who was shaking due to fear, and smiled.  

“…Ea,Earl…”

The customers, who had turned into monsters, shot blood bullets one after another.

On one side of the stage, the members collapsed as star shaped bruises appeared on them.

At this time, the red haired priest appeared in the circus tent.

“Che…as I suspected?

The man took out a gun with a intricate design, and said softly.

“Destroy them, Judgment!” ***

The sky had turned dark. After entering the storage, Red was pushed in front of the animal cage.

The two members kept a strong hold on Red, who had no more energy to resist.

From the cage, the sounds of the fierce carnivores can be heard. Not only was it angry from being kept in such a small cage, the commotion also made it more agitated than usual.

The air smells bad, like rotting fish.

If he entered the cage, he’ll be bitten to death for sure.

--Death?  

In this sort of place?

Because of that insignificant person?

Then, what was I born for?

Red’s body started moving, partly from anger, as well as fear.

What is my purpose for existing?

Is it only to be killed, just like that?

He hears the cheers coming from the circus.

It is such a faraway reality now.

“Okay, get in!”

The Ringmaster’s cold voice shouts.

Red’s small body was easily thrown into the cage.

It is dark inside the cage.

But he could see the overwhelmingly large silhouette of the beast.

It’s tea coloured fur is swaying.

“Ah--”

Growll---

He hears the low roar from beside him.

--There’s no more hope.

Just as the beast opens it mouth, something breaks the cage and enters. It was a yellow round object, and it seems to have wings as well.

“Rawl!”

The beast let out a cry, and collapses, just like that.

“Wha--”

Red stared at the unbelievable change in events.

What just happened?

He stands up shakily. The thing with the yellow wings chewed through the metal bars, flew around the cage once and exited it.

Red leaves the cage, feeling nervous.

“--!”

The Ringmaster and the two members are on the ground.

Beside them was the red haired priest he had met during the day.

He seemed to be the one who finished them off.

“Why…”

The question is circling around in his mind.

As he approached, he realises that the priest’s breathing is a little irregular.

Why, is he here…

Just as Red is spacing out, he is suddenly punched in the face.

“You stinking brat…!!”

Red falls on the floor but quickly sits up in shock.

Did I do something?

Just as he thought that, he froze.

“--!”

A gun is suddenly pointed at his forehead.

Red breathes in sharply.

The priest approaches him, full of killing intent, Red could smell a lingering smell of cigarette smoke.

It was not like Cosmos, who had an unkind expression, or the Ringmaster, whose gaze held authority.  It was really a gaze filled with killing intent.

Killing people, killing, after killing a lot of people, would a person obtain that sort of expression?  

The eyes of the priest were filled with blood.

“I told you not to get close to Mana, didn’t I?”

This time, I will really get killed--

Just as he thought that, the priest’s face collided with something. It was a large impact.

It was that yellow thing, it threw the metal bar it was still holding on to.

“Tim!”

--What was that, this is? A living thing? Why would it save me?

“Che!”

The priest glares at Red, and kept the gun.

“I ran out of bullets.”

The reason did not explain anything.

The priest forcefully picks Red up, who had already turned stiff.

“Don’t forget, this is all because of you.”

Saying that, he released his hold roughly.

Red falls on the ground again.

“Disappear.”

He said that with a sigh, and disappears into the darkness together with the yellow thing.

Red could only stare at the darkness.

If I stay here, I will be killed—

He realises that, and runs away quickly.

He can’t stay in the circus anymore.

But he is still concerned about Mana.

What happened after that? He regrets leaving Mana there, this thought is tormenting him.

But Red remembers the priest’s words, but he wants to return to the circus.

What should I do… ***

The next morning, Red, who had wandered on the streets without a goal, returns to the circus without knowing how he got there.

He found the place surrounded by people.

What happened…where’s Mana…?

Red listens quietly to the voices of the people around him.

“Disappeared? That many performers?”

“Yeah, the Ringmaster and some of the other helpers are still around. The others have disappeared in one night. It seems like the performance cannot be held anymore.”

“!”

Red is shocked.

When he was locked inside the animal cage, he could still hear cheers coming from the tent.

I thought, the performers were still performing as usual---

That many members could disappear so quickly?

“And it seems like they didn’t run away. The clothes of the missing members are still around!”

“All the clothes all carry traces of being shot. And there were rumors that they were attacked, but there were no bodies…it really doesn’t make sense!”

“…what, really happened, even though it’s Christmas!”

Red silently left the chatting crowd in order to hide his expression.

His heart is beating very fast.

The missing members.

What happened after I was bought to the animal cage by the Ringmaster and the others?

Did Mana—disappear too?

Who was that red haired priest? Even though he’s a priest—but he still carries a gun, and has the smell of cigarettes on him.

And, he even wanted to kill me…

--don’t forget, it’s all because of you.

The words which the man wearing priest robes said echoed in his mind.

“Ah--!!”

Red shouted.

“Mana!”

Appearing from the crowd was Mana, wearing a rather dirty clown suit.

Just like yesterday, his head and face is covered in blood.

--You’re alright!

Mana took a look at Red and smiled.

“Where have you been , Allen?”

“Eh?”

Red stared at Mana, shocked.

“Mana?”

Allen is the dog’s name. And it was even a dead dog’s—

Mana did not notice Red’s feelings of uneasiness.

“Today is Christmas! Okay, let’s go to a different place!”

“Mana…? What’s wrong? I’m not Allen. Allen is…!”

Mana did not hear any of Red’s cries.

Instead he took Red’s hand and started walking.

“Right, where should we go next?”

“Instead of that, don’t you need to do something about your head wound?”

“Does Allen have a place he wants to go?”

“Mana!” Mana is very strange.

“Mana? Hey, Mana?”

“Hmm—where should we go? Strange, why, am I travelling?”

Mana tilts his head.

Red, hearing this unbelievable statement, froze entirely.

“You said…to look for your little brother…”

“Little brother?”

Mana stops walking all of a sudden.

“What’s that?”

Mana is smiling as usual, Red turned stiff.

--he had forgotten his motive for travel entirely.

Why?

Because I hit him too much?

--Don’t forget, this is all because of you.

The priest’s words hurt Red again.

Don’t tell me…it’s because of me? Because I hit him with this cursed hand many times…?

“I feel that…I’m looking for something really important.”

Mana is still smiling.

This tone of voice is even.

But his whole body is shaking.

He is sad.

Because he had lost his memory.

His hand, which is being held, can feel it.

“You’re looking for your little brother! Your little brother who was separated from you. Didn’t you say it, yesterday!”

Mana did not react. Only one night, and Mana had changed entirely.

Red stares at Mana with a helpless look.

Quietly, something white drifts down.

It’s snow—

From above the two of them, falling quietly, collecting on their bodies.

Snow, which can turn everything white—

“Mana…”

Mana, cannot revert back anymore.

He had this feeling.

Tears fall from Red’s eyes.

Mana stretches out his hand slowly.

“Don’t be sad…if you’re sad, the Earl will come.”

He says with an empty voice as he rubs away Red’s tears.

“Allen is really warm. And, strange? Why have you grown so big? And you don’t have a tail as well.”

He mixed me up with the dog.

Red had to admit while feeling totally hopeless.

Mana…

The person who was destroyed by me.

“Take me with you Mana. I’ll tell you, what you have forgotten…I’ll remember it for you….please. Take me with you…”

This is my reason for living.

Mana…playing in the snowy night with your dog, then going out to the streets with you yesterday, it was the first time I felt “happiness” together with someone else.

So, this time, it’s my turn.

To make you happy.

I will become your Allen. “We’ll be together always, Allen.”

Mana says innocently, these words hurt Red’s heart very much.

“…That’s true, we’ll always be together…”

Then Red and Mana walked towards the snow.

Always, the two of them, together.

This was the day Red, the young boy, became Allen.

Allen’s story will start from now on.

Meeting the priest again, travelling with a golem, becoming an Exorcist—that will be another story. ----------------------------------------------------------END--------------------------------------------------------------------

Afterword Hello everyone, this is Hoshino Katsura. This is the third volume of the awaited novel, the stories have some relation to the main story this time and both these stories were written by Kizaki-san. The one that gave me the most trouble while creating (laugh) is Mana and Allen’s story.

Allen’s past is still a total mystery, and was practically not talked about in the original work, and even the more mysterious Mana makes an appearance…it might be really great to turn it into a novel, I started working on it with such relaxed feelings, but~it was still really hard. Even though the meeting between Mana and Allen is a simple story, but in order to integrate more mysteries related to the original work, this time Kizaki-san suggested for the first time to produce a work with more structure and collaboration.  This time, I felt really strongly, that I definitely would not become a novelist… (laugh)

It’s really too difficult to tell a story just using words. I really admire Kizaki-san a lot, she could craft my rough transcript into such a brilliant objective story. After so long, being able to work with Kizaki-san again made me feel so happy. And, to the Fan who is holding the book in your hand right now, I’m very thankful for your support. I work hard for everyone who has read the entire story, I’m happy if I’m able to make you feel some happiness as well. Then, I’ll see you next time.  

Hello everyone, this is Kizaki Kaya. This is the third volume of the novel.   To the old and new readers, thank you for picking up the book. This time is the story of Roufa as well as Allen and Mana.

Roufa’s story is about a maiden in love, I felt really happy while creating this piece! How should I write about Roufa’s romance next? (Even though I’m still writing the short story, but just asking that will cause my heart to beat faster)—I suggest you wait patiently for the stories in this volume. And Allen and Mana’s story has some connections to Allen and Mana’s story in the original series. In order to write this story, I re-read the original series, and felt some pain when I saw Allen’s smile and determination. I feel fortunate that I am able to show the D.Gray-man world to everyone in this fashion. Lastly, the acknowledgments. Hoshino-san, who has cared for me, thank you very much! Lastly, thank you to all the readers who have read this book. Some day in November 2010                                                  Kizaki Kaya

——————————————END——————————————————————

@jjfole

@sweetestboi

[lokis-daughter-fic]

Loki’s Daughter Chapter 8: Side Effects Include

Loki was beginning to grow bored of sitting in their room. He flopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a while. When he found he could not sit still, he stood and paced back and forth for a while. He walked to the window and looked outside. Loki watched the people bustling about outside. He did not like being stuck in one place. They had been alone here for hours and no one had come to get them. Kuna was sitting on a pillow in the den area, playing pretend with her toys.

           “Kuna?” he asked, turning back to her. “Do you want to go out?”

           “Where?” she asked, looking up at him.

           “Anywhere, really.”

           “But what about Queen Shakk’uri?”

           “She’s taking her time with this ‘urgent’ matter,” Loki said, impatiently. “Are you hungry?”

Kuna looked down at her tummy. She was very hungry. It had been several hours since they had returned and they had polished off the food in the room for lunch. She looked back up at Loki and nodded.

“Then, let’s go out somewhere. She’s taking too long and you’re a growing little girl that needs to eat. We’ll just join her later and apologize if we’re late for something.”

           Kuna stood up, holding her stuffed animals under each arm. She shrugged, “Okay, then.” She followed Loki out of the room. He found one of Shakk'uri's little butler men and told him they were going out.

“Oh, but wait, sir, Mother Shakk’uri would rather you wait here,” the little man said, stepping in front of them. Kuna shrank a little, grabbing Loki’s hand. She didn’t like how tall the man was, even though he was much smaller than Shakk’uri, he was still much bigger than little Kuna.

“Oh, but we would really rather go out and enjoy your beautiful planet,” Loki said, stepping around him. “Expect us back later.”

           Loki walked past him, pulling Kuna gently along beside him. They walked out of the hive and back onto the street. Loki pulled up his hood and cowl.

           “Loki?” Kuna asked.

           “Mmm?”

           “Why did you call yourself Lopt?”

           “Oh, I’m just trying to keep my real identity secret. It’s just a name.”

           “But why?”

           “Well, there’s some dangerous people out there that would really like me dead.”

           “Dead? Why?” she asked, shocked that anyone would ever want Loki dead.

           “Some people don’t like me very much,” he responded, leading her through the crowds.

           “Well, I like you,” she said.

           He stopped and looked down at her. “Really?”

           “Yes, you’re the nicest person in the whole universe.”

           He chuckled a little. “If only you knew,” he said.

           Loki found a tavern on a street corner and walked Kuna inside. They found a table and he ordered a drink for himself – of the alcoholic variety – and a water for Kuna – of the non-alcoholic variety. Kuna crawled up on the seat next to Loki, but she couldn’t reach the table very well. Tenanciians were very tall and built their furniture to match.

           Loki picked her up and set her on his lap. A waiter delivered their drinks and Loki paid him. At the table beside them, two feathered female Shi’ar sat whispering to each other. They caught Loki’s glance and he winked at them which sent them into a giggling tizzy. Suddenly, he heard Kuna’s stomach growl from below him. It was louder than all the noise in the bar.

           “Was that your stomach?” he asked her, laughing in disbelief.

           She looked up and nodded, holding her tummy. Loki remembered the protein bars he had purchased for her earlier that day. He pulled the box from his pocket and opened it, pulling out a bar.

He opened the protein bar. It looked similar to Midgardian candy, separated into ten equal squares in neat pairs. He broke off a piece, popping it into his mouth. The outside melted in his mouth. It was smooth and creamy, sweet like chocolate with a chalky thickness. He assumed that was the protein part. He sucked on the tablet. Inside this creamy layer, there was a crunchy inside like a hard candy. It too tasted sweet but much crisper and tangy. He moved it around on his tongue.

On his lap, Kuna was playing with her new toy dragon. She moved it up and down in the air so that its wings would flap like it was flying. She was entranced by her gifts.

"Here," he said, pushing the candy to the side of his mouth. "Want some? It's like candy but it's really good for you." He offered the whole bar to Kuna. "Just don't swallow the whole thing right away. I think you're meant to suck on it for a while."

She happily took it, amazed at all the gifts and treats she was getting today. She bit off a whole row of the candy bar and was overwhelmed by the sweet flavor. She’d never tasted anything so sweet. She had never had candy before but she had seen some of the Masters children have it and they seemed to love it. Now she knew why.

Loki took out another bar from the box and turned it over to read the description on the back, still sucking on the inside of his piece. Beside them, the Shi’ar woman whispered to her friend, pointing her gaze towards Kuna eating the protein bar. Loki dismissed them. So what? He's got a kid with him in a bar. It's not like she's drinking. He made sure her water had no alcohol this time. They had learned the hard way about that.

He turned his attention back to the protein bar packet. Kuna continued sucking on the two candies in her mouth. Loki read through the nutritional information:

                'Protein, vitamins, and nutrients contained within each tablet:'

Loki skimmed over the list of included nutrients, making note that just about everything was covered in it. His eyes landed on a section heading:

                'Suggested intake:

                One (1) tablet contains sufficient daily caloric, protein, vitamin, and nutrient intake for carbon-based lifeforms of an average weight of greater than 500kg and an average height of greater than 400cm'

Loki choked on his piece and snatched the rest of the bar out of Kuna's hand. She had eaten four whole tablets. The two Shi’ar women at the table beside them started laughing at Loki’s reaction. His face reddened as he read on:

                'Tablets per bar: 10

                Intended for the maintenance and/or gain of weight and muscle in extra-large carbon-based lifeforms where sufficient daily nutrients are difficult to acquire.

                Consult with your physician/healer/shaman/witch doctor before starting a weight gain regimen.’

"Oh, gods," he said, covering his mouth. "What have I done?" He looked down at Kuna then back to the packet. Kuna looked up at him, confused and scared by him snatching away the candy he had given her.

“Did I do something wrong again?” she asked, cautiously.

"Oh, no. Sorry, Kuna," he said. "You haven’t done anything wrong. At all. You just can't have very many of these, I guess. In fact, I think you can only have one, like, once a year."

She frowned in discontent. She had liked the taste of the candy. She quickly swallowed the rest of the two tablets in her mouth.

"Five hundred kilos? What in the worlds?" he read again. There was no mistake. "How many are in here?"

He looked in the box. There were at least thirty bars inside. A sinking feeling came over him as he remembered how big the store owner was and the strange look he had given Loki when he purchased the bars. The strange look Loki had chalked up to him paying the giant store owner too much for the protein bars.

"Ooh," Loki realized. He put his face in his palm. Why couldn’t he do anything right?

Kuna was still confused by the situation. She looked up at Loki, expecting him to be angry with her for eating too much of the candy bar. He looked down at her and saw the fear in her eyes. His expression softened and he smiled at her.

"How many kilos do you weigh?" he asked her, grinning. She gave him a nervous smile but didn’t know the answer he wanted. He picked up her up, seriously weighing her in his hands for a moment, and hoisted her up. She giggled as he bounced her in midair. "Do you weigh 500 kilos?" he asked, laughing with her. “Actually, you're lucky if you weigh ten kilos soaking wet,” he muttered under his breath.

He set her back down between his knees and picked up the packet again, worriedly. He wondered if she would get sick again. Gods, he couldn't do anything right with her. He continued reading:

          ‘Possible side effects include:’

“Oh gods. Please, no,” he pleaded with the candy bar.

           ‘Itching, rash, vomiting, indigestion, hair loss, increased hair growth, constipation, diarrhea, headaches, chills, drowsiness,

            insomnia, hypersomnia, impotence, increased libido, shortened attention span, forgetfulness, swollen tongue,

            sudden outbursts of crying, singing, cursing, and/or shouting, hallucinations, euphoria, drunkenness, lewd behavior,

            sudden depression, sudden muscle spasms, unconsciousness, coma, and, in some cases, death.’

Loki’s jaw hit the table. This had to be a joke. “Do you get these side effects all at once?” he cried, rather more loudly than he had intended. He covered his mouth with his hand as people began to stare at them. “If my hair falls out, I’m going to stab someone,” he muttered, turning his attention back to the wrapper. “I thought there were just vitamins in this thing.”

            ‘Warning: This product has not been tested for beings smaller than 400cm weighing less than 500 kg and is not recommended by the Nova Corps of Surgeons for weight maintenance or gain of any carbon-based lifeform regardless of species, race, age, weight, or stature. Results may vary.’

“Oh, now you tell me. Why did that bastard even sell this to me at all? How is this shit even legal? Why is that not in BOLD LETTERS ON THE FRONT OF THE FUCKING WRAPPER!” he shouted. The tavern quieted as people turned their heads to look at Loki shouting at nothing.

Kuna did not like hearing him shout so angrily. She flinched at the volume of his voice. He saw her flinch and felt a sudden wave of guilt.

“I’m so sorry, Kuna,” he said, his eyes suddenly filling with tears. “I didn’t mean to yell. I’m not mad at you, I swear.”

Kuna timidly looked around. The other people were still staring. Loki wiped his eyes, furious that he was crying in public over absolutely nothing.

           Loki scanned the room. Everyone had gone back to their business now. He called a waiter over and ordered them some real food. The Shi’ar women were still giggling to themselves and glancing in Loki’s and Kuna’s direction every now and then.

"Kee-lohs. Keee-loooh," Kuna absentmindedly mimicked Loki from below, pulling his attention back to her. She had gone back to playing with her dragon and sleipnir on the table. "Kee-loh, Loh-kee, Loki!" she said, looking up at him, grinning with joy.

He smiled back at her. That was cute. He took a drink from his mug on the table, content with the way he had calmed her down in this tense situation. He didn’t want her to be so scared of him all the time. She was certainly beginning to trust him.

“Shit,” Kuna mimicked, as she went back to playing.

Loki’s eyes widened and he looked down. “Um,” he chuckled a little as he spoke. “You probably shouldn’t say that, Kuna.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I don’t really care that much but some people might think it’s rude.”

“But you say it.”

“I’m an adult.”

“Oh,” she said, looking down. “Okay, then.”

“Um, anyways. How are you feeling? Are you feeling, maybe, sick, at all?”

“No.”

“Tongue swollen?”

“Mmm... no,” she said, touching her tongue to the roof of her mouth to see.

“Any sudden urge to start singing?”

She looked up at Loki, brow raised. He was acting weird. “No...?” she said, a bit more like a question than an answer.

“Good. And we’re not dead, so no side effects yet, then.”

“Yay!” Kuna said, holding her toys in the air. In truth, Loki was acting so strangely, she wasn’t really sure what to say to him or what he was going on about. She was just happy to be not dead with Loki.

Loki couldn’t help but smile at her. Despite everything that had happened to them in the last two days, she was, for the most part, happy.

Gods, you're so soft, the voice said, spooking Loki.

Loki nearly spit out his drink. HOw did he get out? He choked on the drink and swallowed hard, mentally trying to shove him out of his mind.

Can't get rid of me that easily, he taunted back, filling Loki's head with a menacing cackling that echoed in his ears.

Loki squeezed his eyes shut until the laughter died down. He opened them slowly. It felt quiet now. He looked around. The tavern was still buzzing with energy but Loki’s ears felt muffled, his vision blurred at the edges.

Kuna felt Loki’s sudden shift in mood and looked up at him but his eyes focused on someone at the bar. He could only see the back of his head. Long, black hair, green cape, black armor. Loki’s heart started to pound. He had not conjured a copy, so who was this?

The man turned and Loki was face to face with himself. He stood and walked towards their table. Loki jumped to his feet and Kuna nearly fell across the table. Catching herself before she could fall, she looked up at Loki.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. Kuna looked around for the person he was speaking to but no one seemed to be holding the conversation.

“Get the Hel away from us,” Loki growled. “Don’t you dare.”

“Loki?” Kuna asked.

“Who are you? How are you doing this?” Loki continued. He paused between speaking as if listening to a response. Kuna looked around again to find the person Loki was talking to but there were no one around and no responses to his questions.

“Get out,” Loki growled through clenched teeth. There were tears in his eyes. “I SAID GET OUT!” Loki shouted, pointing at the door. The room fell silent again. Everyone was staring.

“Loki, there’s no one there!” Kuna cried.

Loki was broken from his fixation on the taunting copy. He was practically nose to nose with it, how could she not see? This was some magic or trick… or hallucination.

He grabbed the wrapper again. ‘Hallucinations’ it had listed as a side effect. He looked up again at the sneering image of himself but it was gone. He looked around at the room. Everyone was staring, whispering amongst themselves. The barkeep began to approach them.

“Kuna, we need to go,” he said, picking her up. She quickly grabbed her toys from the table and the satchel Loki was about to leave on the bench. He whisked her out of the tavern.

“Who were you talking to?” Kuna asked.

“No one.”

“It sounded like you were talking to someone.”

“It was no one. I’m – I’m – Why aren’t you having any of these side effects?”

Kuna shook her head. She didn’t know what he was talking about. She felt fine. Loki put her on the ground and she took his hand, walking alongside him. She put the satchel over her shoulder and stuffed her toys inside.

She had not been much paying attention when they walked to the tavern but she did not feel like Loki was walking the right way back to the hive. It felt like they were walking in circles. In fact, she thought that was the third time they had passed the tavern doors. She looked back at Loki but he had started humming and then broke into song:

“Drøymde mik ein draum i nótt

um silki ok ærlig pell,

um hægindi svá djupt ok mjott,

um rosemd með engan skell.

Ok i drauminom ek leit

sem gegnom ein groman glugg

þá helo feigo mennsko sveit,

hver sjon ol sin eiginn ugg.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, I don’t know these words as well, hmm, hmm, hmm, Oh yeah!

Ek fekk sofa lika vel,

ek truða þat væri best —

at hvila mik á goðu þel´

ok gløyma svá folki flest´.

Friðinn, ef hann finzt, er hvar

ein firrest þann mennska skell,

fær veggja sik um, drøma þar

um silki ok ærlig pell.”

He chuckled at the last part. Kuna was concerned. She hadn’t gotten a word of what he was singing. Was that another language? Had he just made that up? Maybe his magic Allspeak wasn’t working anymore. What was happening?

“Um… Loki?” She asked, softly, tugging on his hand. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm? Oh, I’ve never been better! Are you okay?”

“I think so?”

“You think? You should know!” he grabbed her under her arms and swung her around and then put her up on his shoulders. “I haven’t felt this great in centuries!”

“Are you drunk?” Kuna asked, leaning over his face.

“Possibly?” he said, shaking his head a little. “Are you having fun?”

“What were singing?”

“Hmm? What? Was I singing?”

“Yeah! What was it? It was pretty?”

“Hmm… Oh, it’s an old tune Bragi sang once. About how awful humans are and it’s just better to be away from them and just take a nap instead! Haha, he sang it for the Midgardians once and they loved it so much they wrote it down! Can you believe that?”

“You’re acting weird.”

“Is it a good weird or a bad weird.”

“Mmm… good weird?”

“You don’t sound very sure.”

“I’m not.”

“Dat is noth otay,” Loki said. His eyes widened. His tongue felt thick in his mouth. He quickened his pace. “Whath were we dalking abouth? Where am I gohing?” He stopped in the middle of the street. “Where-were-we gohing?”

“Um, I think we need to go back to Shakk’uri,” Kuna said, a little unsure of herself. Something was wrong with Loki for sure.

“Righth,” he said. “Goood ithea.”

           “I think we need to go that way,” Kuna pointed towards the dome of the hive sticking up above the buildings.

           “Righth,” he said.

           “I think that’s left?” she said, holding out her hands to be sure she knew.

           “Righth. Lepffft.”

           They had nearly arrived at the hive when Loki suddenly stopped again. He grabbed Kuna and put her down, running for the bushes lining the stairs. He vomited over the railing and hung there for a moment, spitting. Kuna grimaced. He was sick. Maybe he had too much candy?

           He retched again before straightening up. He put his hand to his head and swayed. She walked over to him and took his hand, steadying him a little. He leaned over.

           “Did you drink the water from the alcohol planet?”

           “Sssthort of,” he said, hiccupping.

           “I think it made you sick and that candy too,”

           “I phthink your righth,” he said, woozily.

           She led him up the steps slowly. It would not have been the first time she escorted a drunk man home. Master Machaluci was drunk all the time and always made her take him home. He liked to beat her on the head with his stick as they walked to make the townspeople laugh. At least Loki didn’t have a stick.

           He toddled along behind her, still holding her hand. His head was pounding. He scratched a niggling itch on his neck. It would not go away. He scratched harder and harder until his nails left marks but it was as if the itch was beneath his skin. Then, he felt another urge.

           “Hold on, Kuna,” he said. He ran to the bushes once more. “Turn around,” he ordered her. She did. She heard him unzip and relieve himself, though, it sounded like he was missing the bush and hitting the pavement instead. When he was done he returned to her. Kuna did not take his hand this time.

           They continued up the steps until they reached the door. Kuna pushed it open then heard a horrendous sound come from Loki’s stomach.

           “Oh dear,” he said and bolted through the door and down the hallway, nearly pushing over one of the small men.

           “Is he alright?” the man asked Kuna.

           “Umm… I – I think he had too much to drink and eat tonight.”

           “Well, that’s a shame. Mother Shakk’uri is expecting you both for dinner.”

           “Umm, both of us?”

           “Yes, my lady.” He bowed a little.

           “I’m not a lady. I’m just – just me.”

           “Well ‘just me’, I will tell Mother Shakk’uri that Lopt is indisposed. She will still want to see you at dinner, though. I will fetch you when it is time.”

           “Oh, um, okay,” Kuna said.

           He scuttled off before Kuna could say anything else. She ran down the hallway towards their room. There had been so many ups and downs and twists and turns when they had been led there before, she wasn’t sure if she could find it again. After a few minutes of being lost, she heard Loki sobbing from a room nearby.

She ran towards it and found their room and Loki laying face down in the bed with no clothes on. She quickly covered her face.

“Um, Loki?”

“Mmm fmmm hmm mmm,” he said, muffled by the pillow he had his face smashed in.

“You don’t have any clothes on,” Kuna said, shyly, still covering her eyes.

She heard the bed squeak and then Loki’s bare feet padding across the floor. The bathroom door shut behind him. He was puking again.

“Loki, should I get a healer, maybe?”

“Ask for… Tena’gli!” he shouted.

“Okay!” Kuna did not like him shouting. She ran out the door and found the first man she could.

“Yes, little lady. Can I help you?”

“We – We need Tena’gli! Loki’s sick!”

“Who?”

“Tena’gli! Is she a healer?”

“Oh, oh, yes. I’ll go get her.”

Kuna ran back to the room and stopped dead in her tracks. Had she said ‘Loki’ instead of ‘Lopt’? They were so similar and she was not paying attention. Would Loki be mad? Should she tell him? What if he hit her? Or worse, what if he left her behind or sold her?

“Kuna? Isth sthhe coming?”

“Y – Yes,” she said, sheepishly.

“Remind me to stab that merchant who sold us those candybars, tomorrow!”

“L – Loki?” she approached the door of the bathroom. Loki had a towel wrapped around his waist now. He was sitting in front of the toilet. His face was pale, he looked exhausted. He turned to her, tears in his eyes.

“I’m stho sthorry, Kuna,” he wailed. “You shthouldn’t hafve to sthee this!”

“Loki, I think I made a mistake.”

“Whath?”

“I – I went to find someone to get – to get Tena’gli. And – and when I found one of those men, I – I – I don’t know what I was thinking. I – I called you Loki instead of Lopt. I’m sorry, Loki! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I – I was just worried about you! I am worried about you!”

Loki stopped crying and stared at Kuna for a moment. She was sobbing and covering her face. Her whole body trembled with fear. Loki sighed.

“Ith’s noth you pffault,” he said, tongue still thick in his mouth. “I blew my own covffer in the tavffern. Asth sthoon asth we geth those Shapfucks, hehe,” he giggled at himself. “Those Shapf’aks, we’ll leafve thisth planeth behindth.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Madth? Plobably. Angrly? No.” He shook his head. “Tell me, am I going baldth?” He looked down so Kuna could see the top of his head.

She sniffled and looked through her tears. “No,” she said. His hair was still fine. He sighed.

“Goodth,” he said. “Whath’s taking that woman stho long?”

Suddenly, a female Tenanciian appeared in the doorway. Kuna moved so she could get by.

“Oh dear, what’s going on here?” she said, shocked by the nearly naked Loki.

He produced the wrapper of the candybar and waved it in her face.

“Good Mother,” she said. “Didn’t you read the wrapper? Come on,” she said, pulling him to his feet. “Kuna, my dear. You should probably stay here while I treat him. Mother Shakk’uri will be here soon.”

“No!” Kuna shouted. She immediately shied away at her outburst. She had never spoken back to an adult that way. “I – I want to go with him.”

“Very well,” Tena’gli said.

Kuna followed them out and back through the ups and downs and twists and turns of the hive. They arrived on the ground floor. Shakk’uri was waiting.

“Oh my!” she said at the sight of the nearly naked Loki. “Kuna, darling, come here. Let Tena’gli do her work.”

“I – I want to stay with him,” Kuna said. The room fell silent.

“Kuna, please, come with me,” Shakk’uri said, opening her arms to her.

Kuna shook her head. She had a bad feeling from head to toe. Something was wrong.

Suddenly, men with big guns approached from all angles. They wore blue armor with golden ‘V’s on their chestplates. One grabbed her and pulled her away from Loki.

“Sthop!” Loki shouted. “Don’th thouch her!”

Kuna screamed as they wrangled her and practically threw her at Shakk’uri. She caught her and held her back as she struggled.

“No! No!”

“Kuna, stop! Listen to me! Do you know who this man is? What he’s done? He’s a murderer!”

“No, he’s not!” Kuna cried, fighting to get away from her.

“He tried to destroy a whole planet and then tried to take over another one! He’s in league with the Titan, Thanos! He’s dangerous! He’s a trickster! He’s just using you!”

“No! He’s nice! You don’t know him!”

The men surrounded Loki, pointing their guns at him. He put up his hands.

“You’re not really going to shoot me in front of the girl, are you?” He seemed suddenly better.

“See!” Shakk’uri said, roughly holding onto Kuna. “He was tricking you the whole time!”

“Shut your whore mouth!” Loki shouted at her. There were gasps from around the room. “What would you know?”

“That’s enough,” one of the men said. “Loki Odinson, you are under arrest for the destruction of Jotunheim and the merciless attack of the uncontacted, Terra—"

“What the Hel did you call me? What they couldn’t even summon Syfon warriors for me? What rank are you? A Corpsman? The Nova Corps is really becoming stretched far too thin.”

“This will get us all ranked as Centurions, so you can shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“I’d like to see you try. I’ll kill all of you with my bare hands and I’ll do it naked,” Loki spat.

Loki pounced on him, grabbing his gun and aiming it for the other men. He fired off two shots, killing two of the Corpsmen. They opened fire and he used the first man as a shield. His comrades fired upon him with their blasters and killed him instantly.

Shakk’uri began dragging Kuna away. The Tenanciian men gathered around her, standing on each others shoulders, forming a living shield around their mother.

“No! Get off of me!” Kuna shouted.

“No! You’re mine now! You’ll be safe with me!”

“No! You’re fucking shit!” Kuna said and kicked her as hard as she could.

Shakk’uri let go of her, grabbing at her injured leg. Kuna ran through the legs of the Tenanciian men, towards Loki.

“No! Stop her! There’s a child in the crossfire!” Shakk’uri shouted. “CEASE FIRE!

Loki was busy strangling one of the Nova Corpsmen when he saw Kuna running towards him. Then, through the door, a Nova Centurion marched in, a Syfon Warrior standing close by him.

“Kuna! Stop right there!” Loki shouted to her. His tongue no longer thick, he had used an ample amount of his magic in an effort to heal himself as soon as the Nova Corps revealed themselves and he had come to. Kuna came screeching to a halt at the sight of the two massive men approaching the fight. The man in purple stretched out his hand at Loki. Suddenly, Loki cried out and fell to his knees. A field of energy seemed to billow out of him. The energy was sucked back towards the man’s hand. Loki doubled over as the Syfon absorbed his energy for himself.

“Don’t hurt him!” Kuna shouted. She threw her hands out in front of her and a massive wall of fire erupted from her palms, sending the two men reeling back through the door. She shrieked and fell, nearly unconscious from the effort and pain.

Loki scrambled to his feet, producing the tesseract to teleport them away. The Nova Centurion fired off a blast from his gun. Hearing it, Loki turned to block it from hitting Kuna. The blast hit him in the chest and sent him skidding across the tile floor. The tesseract bounced over Kuna and landed in behind her.

“There it is! Get it, quick!” Shakk’uri ordered the Tenanciian men.

The swarmed towards Kuna. She grabbed the tesseract and cradled it against her chest. Loki was struggling to regain himself after the blow from the blaster. He was dizzy and his eyes could not focus. The Centurion was approaching them again. He grabbed Loki’s arm.

In a flash, Loki grabbed the blaster and shoved it up under the man’s chin. The Centurion fired it himself, blowing his head clean off. Loki turned the blaster on the Syfon but he had his attention drawn towards Kuna. Loki heard Kuna cry out as the Syfon tried to drain her energy too. She writhed in pain, clutching the tesseract close to her.

Loki pulled the trigger of the blaster, holding it back to let off multiple blasts. The Syfon raised his hand and redirected the blasts back at Loki. He dropped the blaster and raised a force field to protect himself and Kuna. The strain of using his magic with such low energy made stars sparkle in his vision. His body felt heavy with weakness. The blasts slammed into the force field.

Loki could not keep the field up against the pounding of each blast. It began to crack and splinter. He glanced over at Kuna. The Tenanciian men were swarming her, kicking and punching her to make her drop the tesseract. She was laying on top of it, keeping it from their reach. She was crying. He pulled one hand away from the force field and flung it backwards at them. Several knives appeared from his fingertips, each one killing a Tenanciian but it was not enough to get them off of Kuna.

Loki turned his attention back to the Syfon, who was gearing up for another attack. The man lifted his hand and unleashed a beam of energy onto Loki’s force field. The field shattered like glass in a window. Loki collapsed, the beam just missing him as he fell.

Kuna saw him fall through the legs of the Tenanciians. They were smothering her. Their hands grabbing at her. She kicked at them and screamed, hugging the tesseract. She did not know what to do. Loki was on the floor a few feet from her and the Syfon Warrior was fast approaching. This was one of the men Loki told her wanted him dead.

“STOP!” she shouted and pounded her fist on the floor.

The ground shook and the Tenanciian men flew backwards in all directions, hitting the walls and high balconies, breaking their backs or necks upon landing. The Syfon flew backwards as well as if hit with a massive wall of wind. She cried out again as a wrenching pain filled every fiber of her body. She felt as if she had been dipped in lava or doused with acid. Her head spun, her vision began to fade but her eyes focused on Loki laying on the ground nearby.

“Loki!” she cried, afraid she had hurt him too. There was a big hole in his chest and she didn’t know how it got there. She struggled to her feet, trying to run to him but stumbled and fell. The Syfon Warrior was regaining himself, ready to unleash a powerful blast on the two hostiles. Loki moaned. Kuna panicked, she reached into the satchel at her side, searching for her toys to comfort her as she would surely be dead soon.

Her hands landed on something cool to the touch. She gripped it and pulled it out: a beautifully forged dagger. She removed it from its scabbard. The Syfon stopped, looming over her.

“Put it down,” he ordered. Kuna stared at the blade. It felt nice in her hand.

“Put it down,” the Syfon ordered once more.

Kuna could feel Loki breathing hard beside her. What would they do to him? To her? Why had Shakk’uri done this after everything they had done for her? Kuna didn’t want to look at the mean man that was walking towards them. Every part of her wanted to cower, to run away, to apologize, to make it stop. But she knew it wouldn’t work. It never did.

“Give it to me,” he said, putting out his hand. She lifted the dagger towards him, turning it around. He lowered his hand to her. She sniffled, hesitating. She liked the way the light glimmered on the blade; the knotwork etching turned black against the blinding light. Finally, she looked up to meet the man’s eyes. He prompted her to give him the dagger again. She lifted it towards him and then slammed the point of the dagger into his arm. Blood gushed forth. The Syfon staggered back, holding his arm, desperately trying to stem the blood flow.

Kuna looked around frantically for the tesseract. She had left it on the floor where she had laid beneath the pile of Tenanciians. Shakk’uri was marching towards it in her massive strides. Kuna dove back on top of it, snatching it before Shakk’uri could stoop to grab it. She kicked Kuna in the face, sending her onto her back. Her nose bled rivers of red. She was stunned by the blow and the tesseract fell to the floor.

“Give. That. To. Me.” Shakk’uri growled, reaching for the tesseract. Loki propped himself up on his hands, desperately trying to stand, to help, despite his weakness. He found his feet, slowly and was ready to tear off Shakk’uri’s head with his last strength. Shakk’uri stooped to pick up the tesseract. Kuna rolled from side to side, crying. The moment before Shakk’uri’s hand touched the tesseract, Kuna attacked. Another blast of fire erupted from her hands, sending both Shakk’uri and Loki reeling backwards. Kuna cried out but gritted her teeth through the pain. She grabbed the tesseract and dove towards Loki.

Shakk’uri was badly burned. Her clothes and body were on fire. The giant woman flailed around as her surviving men chased after her, trying to put her out. Kuna looked up towards the door. It seemed an entire army of Nova Corpsmen were lining up, ready to demolish the hive to get to them. There were others now too. More men in different uniforms, holding guns at them. She looked down at the tesseract in her hand and then at Loki.

“Kuna, no! Don’t!” Loki said, reaching for her.

Time had seemed to slow to a near halt. The Nova Corps were firing their weapons, the blasts zeroing in on them. Loki’s hand moved in slow motion towards the tesseract. She took Loki’s hand instead.

Kuna stared into the tesseract’s glimmering face and pleaded, “Take us somewhere nice, please!”

The vapors surrounded them and they were gone.

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If you'd like to check out the song Loki sang in this chapter as well as a translation for it, check out this website (https://www.realmofhistory.com/2017/08/02/oldest-norse-song-codex-runicus/).

[joeckfic-blog]

1

Caspar’s giggly, his lips already stained burgundy from the wine. Joe thinks he probably looks no better.

‘Put it on!’ Caspar giggles, thrusting the heap of tulle and there’s a little voice right in the back of Joe’s mind telling him this could be a bad idea, but he finally relents and takes the feather-light bundle of white fabric from Caspar.

Caspar lets out another quick giggle before he can smother it with his hand. He pulls down the hem of his tight pink dress, tottering in his bubblegum kitten heels, and Joe starts to laugh again, loud and unabashed as he strips off his jumper.

‘You’re sure we won’t get into trouble?’ Joe asks, pushing his jeans down to bunch around his ankles.

Caspar sighs and tosses the pair of feathered wings at Joe. Joe flinches and giggles.

‘Josh is taking us, we’ll be fine.’ Caspar takes another swig from the wine bottle.

Joe shimmies the light fabric up his thighs. Caspar starts to giggle when he gets it up to his waist, chuckling into his palm before Joe pinches at a thin spaghetti strap and pulls up until he can slip his arm through and pull the one strap up onto his shoulder, then the next. He gets his arm stuck about halfway through, and that has Caspar finally giving in and laughing, falling back onto his desk chair and guffawing.

Joe feels painfully vulnerable in the situation, but finds himself giggling along. ‘What?’ he begs, dragging out the word as he manages to finally slip the strap up onto his shoulder.

‘That was my sister’s when she was twelve! And you fit into it!’

Joe doesn’t really get why Caspar’s laughing so hard, but he finds himself joining him until he’s tripping back onto the bed and curling in as his belly starts to ache with it.

By the time Joe’s calmed down, he’s gotten used to the feeling of the soft tulle against his skin. Caspar throws him a pair of socks, and Joe gives him a soft smile as he pulls them up to mid-calf. He pulls on his ratty tennis shoes and ties them with little bows before running a hand through his messy hair.

Caspar totters to the bathroom and Joe follows after him, standing back and watching in the mirror as Caspar slathers his lips in bright pink lipstick and does his eyes up in bright blue eye shadow. When Caspar starts ruffling his hair, Joe takes the time to look himself over, toying with the delicate hem of the dress.

It’s white and clings to his chest, gauzy and pure with two thin straps over the milky skin of his shoulders. At the waist, the dress flares into multiple layers of soft tulle, all different lengths with the longest ending at the top of his thighs. He thinks he looks good, almost pretty even, but maybe he’s wrong. He runs his fingers through his shower-soft hair and fluffs it with his fingertips as Caspar slips a pink hair bow into his hair.

‘Hurry up!’ a deep voice comes from Caspar’s room, and Caspar blows his reflection a kiss, his cheeks pink more from tipsy-ness than the blusher, before he’s cursing out a reply, and Joe’s trailing after him, suddenly bashful at the thought of showing other people what he’s wearing.

Caspar plucks up the feathery wings from next to his bed and passes them to Joe, wobbling in the short heels as he picks the glittery pink handbag off his desk then the length of gold ribbon, handing it to Joe, before he can smile at his brother in the doorway. ‘Ready!’

His friend, Josh, looks up from his phone and raises his eyebrows at Caspar, his lips twitching into a smile.

‘Playboy bunny?’ he asks, and Joe thinks he might also be a bit tipsy judging by his slur.

Caspar pouts and totters over to him, slapping his shoulder. ‘Barbie.’

Josh rolls his eyes and reaches to ruffle Caspar’s hair, making Caspar relent and laugh, trotting off down the stairs. Josh hangs in the doorway as Joe ties the gold ribbon around his head, tying a neat little bow at the front before swiveling it to the back. He pulls the wings on one elastic hoop at a time, adjusting the straps to lie over those of the dress before he’s shuffling them about so the wings are sitting evenly and the feathers tickle his shoulder blades.

Josh’s smiling at him from the doorway when Joe turns around, with softness in his eyes. ‘Don’t tell Caspar I said this,’ he starts, tucking his phone into the pocket of his leather trousers, ‘but you look a lot prettier than he does.’

Joe thinks the pink on his cheeks isn’t because of alcohol or blusher.

-

When they get there, Joe’s got butterflies flapping around in his tummy and he feels a bit nauseous, not helped by Josh’s driving or Caspar’s loud music choice.

Josh leads them into the flat-block, where music courses through the walls from all the different Halloween parties, and Joe’s hand finds Caspar’s as Josh presses the lift button.

Under the harsh lighting of the lift, Joe thinks he can see what Josh meant. Caspar looks bright and flashy in messy make-up, while Joe looks soft and plain, the slight gold tint of his skin making sure he doesn’t blend into the pure white of the dress or the angel wings. Caspar nudges him sharply with an elbow in his side when the lift jumps and Joe loses his stomach on another floor as they step out.

Joe watches as Josh leads them to the right door, his hips swaying with bravado to suit his Russel Brand costume as he pushes open a door without knocking and holds it open for Caspar and Joe to step through.

It’s loud and even though the flat is rather large, it’s full with people occupying every space. Josh drifts away immediately, going in to hug a girl dressed as a nurse and leaving Joe and Caspar in the doorway.

‘Remember, you’re eighteen,’ Caspar whispers into his ear, before his rough fingers are circling Joe’s wrist and he’s pulling him into it. Caspar pulls him along to where there’s a table set up for beer pong, his game, and one of the boys playing gets distracted by him and starts laughing. Caspar lets go of his wrist and asks to play the next round.

Joe has the aim and coordination of a newborn calf, so he takes to resting back against the display cabinet to the side of the table as Caspar sets up the next game.

Sometime into it, as Caspar’s gulping down something that slips more down his chin than his throat, someone rests next to Joe, nylon against his bare thigh.

He turns his head to look at the man beside him. ‘Hi,’ he offers, somewhat shyly. The man looks at him, his eyes bright and lined in black with a mouth the colour of blood. He has plastic red horns peeking out from the scruffy mess of blonde hair.

‘Hi,’ he copies, his mouth twisting up.

Joe doesn’t know what else to say, so he leaves at that, except, he finds that he wants to keep looking at him, so he sneaks a short sideways glance, hiding under his soft fringe and tucking his lip between his teeth. He swallows down the line of the man’s throat, the bone of his jaw, the sweep of his lashes, before he’s caught and the man looks back at him, his lips set in a filthy smirk.

‘See something you like, babe?’ he asks, and Joe feels his cheeks flame hotter than hell.

‘It’s Joe,’ he offers, ducking his chin and staring at where he tangles his fingers in front of his groin.

‘Jack,’ the man replies, but his teeth dig into his lip and he bites like he knows that Joe’s eyes are going to watch it, before he adds, ‘You should know that though, because this is my flat, and this is an invitation only party.’

Joe’s blood stops and ices in his veins, and his eyes widen. He looks to Caspar, finding him to be celebrating with a boy with messy hair and big brown eyes, not noticing the panic obvious on Joe’s face.

He’s about to stutter out an apology when Jack takes a sip from his cup and pushes off from the cabinet and calls a cocky ‘Follow me,’ behind him, already sure that Joe’s going to follow him.

Joe does.

He trails after him, through the masses of people that seem to part for Jack, shadowing behind him quietly before Jack’s stopping at a door and pulling a keyring from his pocket, unlocking the door before stepping in and holding it open for Joe.

‘I generally prefer to be the only one who fucks in my bed.’ Jack explains, locking the door after them with a click that makes shivers rise at the back of Joe’s neck. Joe rests back against what he guesses must be Jack’s desk, resting his bum over his notebooks as Jack plucks at the devil ears, tossing them to his bed. ‘So, what’s a little twink like you doing in my flat?’ he asks with a wicked grin as he takes a step to where Joe’s standing.

‘I came with my friend’s friend. Josh?’ he offers, grabbing at the desk so that his fingers don’t start to tap nervously.

Jack hums and steps closer, up until he’s almost in Joe’s space.

‘How old are you, Joe?’ he asks, his eyes flashing.

‘Almost eighteen.’ Joe blurts before he can remember to lie, instantly digging his teeth into his lower lip.

‘So, seventeen?’

Joe nods, then looks down to his feet, somewhere between embarrassed and ashamed.

Jack grins and Joe can almost feel the heat of his skin. ‘You’re so young. Sweet, little angel.’ His fingers walk along the edge of the desk, towards Joe’s, and Joe gulps.

Jack takes a deep breath then, mouth close enough to Joe's that he thinks if he just took one more step and tilted up, he could kiss him, let him taste the wine on his tongue. ‘You a virgin?’ he asks next, stepping closer to Joe so they stand almost chest to chest. He rests his hands over Joe’s where they grip the edge of his desk. His teeth look sharp, and his eyes look like bare electricity.

Joe thinks back to the time with Caspar and the bottle of his older sister’s vodka that he’d hidden in his backpack. He thinks back to the game of spin the bottle that ended with him and Caspar in a bathroom with hands in each other’s pants before they’d giggled and run upstairs to Caspar’s bedroom where he’d opened Joe up using lube found in his parent’s room and how he’d fucked Joe under his duvet with his tongue in his mouth. Joe remembers biting into his shoulder as he came and not being able to walk the next day.

He shakes his head slowly, his cheeks flushing even brighter under Jack’s scrutiny as Jack curls his fingers over Joe’s hands, steps closer so their chests brush.

‘Your costume’s a bit misleading then, don’t you think?’ he asks, and before Joe can reply, he’s got soft lips against his that kiss his mouth open before he can take a deep breath. Jack tastes like spirits and Joe almost whimpers as Jack wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him to his chest, nudging a thigh between Joe’s own. Joe gasps then, Jack’s tongue teasing his as he holds Joe’s body close to him and Joe wraps his arms around his neck, Jack slipping his hand down to cup his arse through the tulle.

‘Would you like me to fuck you, princess?’ he asks, dragging his lips over Joe’s cheek and breathing against his ear. His stubble tickles Joe’s skin.

Joe bites into his lower lip, tries to calm his mind and thinks about it for a second before he nods, eyes squeezed tight. Jack nips at his earlobe.

‘Can you get yourself naked for me angel?’ Jack steps away from him, hooking his thumbs into his bright red tights as Joe takes a deep breath to collect himself before pushing off the elastic bands of the angel wings and letting them rest on the desk.

Jack pulls his red jumper off, tossing it into a heap and kicking his tights off absently, standing in nothing but black pants. Joe pinches the hem of the dress between his fingers before he’s pulling the dress up, over his body. He gulps as he toes off his tennis shoes, setting the gauzy dress over Jack’s messy work as he tries to toe his socks off. Jack pulls his underwear down his thighs with little care and stands bare but for the necklace hanging between his collarbones, leaving Joe to twist his fingers and squeeze his eyes shut as he pushes down the waistband of his underwear.

He wraps his fist around his semi, trying to rationalize in his mind for a moment before he thinks of Caspar and thinks that maybe he should do what Caspar would and just relax and enjoy the situation. He slips the gold ribbon out of his hair before he turns to face Jack with a new bout of confidence.

Jack sits down on the mattress, leaning against the pillow as he roams his eyes up Joe’s body with dark eyes as his canines bite into his red lip. Joe gingerly climbs onto the mattress, kneeling at the foot as his hands subtly try to cover his semi in the process. Joe takes a second to properly track down Jack's body, from the gold of his collar bones down the muscle of his arms, the soft of his stomach and down the light hair under his navel, to where his cock lies, almost full and flushed. Joe's mouth runs wet; he's a lot bigger than Caspar was. He can feel the heat of Jack's eyes tracing over him at the same time.

Jack rests back on the bed, body golden against his cream coloured sheets. Joe can feel the bass of the music outside the room, hard and heavy and sweaty as he kneels onto the mattress, his knees sinking in to the soft mattress.

Jack beckons him closer with a raise of his eyebrow followed by a crook of his finger. Joe crawls closer to him, settling himself to hover half over his body as Jack tilts his chin up and Joe leans down, pressing his mouth against Jack’s.

He holds himself with his palm flat against the sheets, tucked into the crook of Jack’ underarm, his other palm flat on the other side of Jack’s neck. Jack reaches across to the bedside table, grabs the sachet of lube and tears it open as he licks into the spread of Joe’s mouth, his knuckles brushing against Joe’s quivering stomach as he does.

Jack reaches to let his hand map down Joe’s spine, wedging Joe’s wrist into the crease of his underarm in the process.

His palm settles over his tailbone as Joe shifts his knees wider, spreads himself, as Jack’s fingers dip and circle around his rim, sticky and teasing. Joe barely has a second to take a deep breath before Jack presses and his first then second fingertip slip in.

Jack presses his fingers in till the knuckle, not bothering with giving Joe adjustment time and just tracing the roof of his mouth with his dirty tongue as distraction. Joe squeaks, Jack spreading his fingers into a V.

He’s quick with it, crooking and crimping his fingers to loosen Joe up around them, not bothering with pleasuring Joe with it. He thrusts his fingers fast into Joe, slick and wet with lube until he’s nipping at Joe’s lower lip and finally pressing his middle finger over Joe’s sweet spot, crooked at awkward angle and pressing with such surety that Joe gasps, a bead of precum bubbling from the head of his cock and dripping down onto sheet.

Joe reaches down to wrap his fingers under his cock's head, catching the wetness still on the head with his thumb and stroking down as Jack teases his tongue along Joe’s teeth, drawing his fingers from Joe’s arse and rubbing them off over his hole, covering him with excess lube. Jack grabs a handful of his arse, kneading his fingers in before squeezing and pulling him apart even more.

Jack pulls back, holding Joe’s lower lip between his sharp teeth and giving Joe’s arse a quick slap.

He pulls himself out from under Joe’s body, slipping off the bed. Joe settles to sit with his bum against his calves, body feeling a bit hot as he watches Jack dig through the bedside table. Jack runs his skinny fingers through his piled hair, pulling on the strands as he pulls a foil square from the draw, lifting it towards his mouth and biting down on the foil with his sharp teeth.

‘Do you have to-’ Joe starts, but the words die in his throat as Jack’s eyes flick to him, hard and dark.

‘Do I have to what?’ he asks, tearing the foil with his fingertips. Joe watches as he plucks at the disc of latex. Jack raises an eyebrow and Joe looks down to his knees, feeling disgustingly vulnerable and childish under his harsh gaze.

‘Do you have to wear one?’ Joe asks softly, pinching at the sheets with his fingertips. They’re rich, expensive; the type he’d bought his mum for mother’s day with her money when he was eleven.

‘You must have failed sex ed.’ Jack snorts, and Joe looks up under his fringe to watch as Jack rolls the condom over his cock, pinching at the tip as rolls it down to base. Joe eyes the tip of his cock, flushed angry red to match the shade of his lips. Jack climbs back onto the bed, reaches for Joe’s jaw and grips just under the both of his ears, his fingers stretching so his palm presses to Joe’s throat. Jack tips his head up, leans in and presses his mouth open by pulling down on his jaw. He leans in and licks into Joe’s mouth, his tongue hot and slow. ‘Unsafe sex leads to unwanted teen pregnancy and STD’s.’

Joe moans as Jack licks apart at his mouth, his eyes fluttering shut. Jack draws back much too soon, reaching back to the bedside table for the second lube sachet.

‘Can you move here for me, babe? Face on the pillow and ass in the air for me, alright?’ he commands absently, ripping open the foil as Joe complies, his body folding as he shifts to press his forehead against the feather pillow, his arms folded. He shifts his knees wider, feeling his cheeks colour as he spreads himself open for Jack.

He holds position, just listening to the thrum of the music and the sound of Jack working himself slowly, before Jack touches him, rubs his slick fingertips over his rim before pressing his middle finger back inside of him, precautionary.

‘Actually...’ Jack starts once he’s wiped his fingers off on the spread. He settles his hands on Joe’s hips before running them down his thighs, his fingers curling around the front of each thigh and pulling back until Joe’s resting on his front, cock smushed up against the duvet. Jack makes a sound of approval in his throat, hands running back up to Joe’s hips before squeezing his bum, spreading him open again. He gives no warning before he’s nudging two fingers back inside. ‘Better.’

Joe gasps as Jack spreads his fingers, fucking them in slowly, until he’s satisfied and draws them out. Jack slowly drags his fingers over Joe’s hole, just tracing it, before he’s wrapping his fist back around himself and Joe’s gripping onto the pillow, his forehead against the cover as Jack holds him open and shifts his weight on the bed.

Jack presses against him, his cock hot and slick as he pulls Joe apart and presses his hips forward. He teases his cock head over Joe’s hole, letting it slip and catch to the point that Joe’s ready to open his mouth and beg, but then he shifts his hips forward and rests his hands on the mattress on either side of Joe, leaning his body to hover over Joe’s back as he pushes inside him. Joe takes a deep breath; lungs feeling compacted as Jack slowly fills him.

Jack presses until his hip bones press against Joe arse, curving his body over Joe so he can nip at the shell of his ear, breath hot against his skin. Joe’s eyes squeeze shut, his mouth falling open and face turning so his cheek presses against the pillow.

Jack nips at his earlobe, kissing right under Joe’s ear after, and shifts his hips in small figure eights before he draws back slightly on to fuck back in. He jumps straight into easy rhythm, the pendant of his necklace resting between Joe’s shoulder blades as he slowly fucks him. Joe moans softly, his cock grinding against the duvet as Jack’ hips grind against his bum.

Jack draws out further; fucking Joe in slow, even strokes that make Joe’s chest flutter between heavy breaths and gasps. Jack nips just below his ear, picking up half-pace as Joe starts to sweat beneath his hairline. Jack’s fingers clench in the sheet, and he kisses at Joe’s jaw, softly as his cock drags in and out with thrusts designed to rub over his spot.

Jack adds a hint more power and Joe moans, burying his face in the pillow as Jack breathes out over his ear with hot and heavy breaths. His hips fuck into Joe with an easy, languid grace, slow but strong and confident. His brow furrows as a high sound works out his throat, and Jack breathes out into the nape of his neck before pressing a kiss there, just over the first bump of his spine.

‘You good, princess?’ Jack asks, slowing his hips as Joe clenches down around him and nods. Jack looks down between them, drags his hips back until he’s just got the tip of his cock inside Joe, and then lets himself push back in, moulding over the shape of his back as his slaps his hips against Joe’s arse slightly.

Joe gasps as Jack fucks in and against his prostate, his hands slipping to grip at the sheet and his fingers clenching as he bites into his lip. Jack’s breath is heavy and stable at the back of his neck, much more calm than his slowly quickening thrusts inside Joe.

Jack presses deeper as he holds himself back up, his pendant slipping over Joe’s hot skin as Jack gives a strong thrust and stays, buried to hilt, inside Joe. He presses his hips further forward, shifting Joe against the duvet as he grinds his cock inside of Joe.

Joe’s toes point, thighs sprawled open with Jack between them. Jack holds for a count of four before he thrusts back into him, straight back into his quickened pace that has Joe’s calves lifting off the bed before he can dig his toes back into the duvet as Jack leans in to plant a wet kiss at the corner of his mouth as he puffs out heavy breaths. Joe gasps, a moan caught in his throat, and Jack takes opportunity to claim his kiss, pressing their mouths together and twining their tongues as Joe’s skin flushes while Jack’s hips slap against his arse.

Jack tastes him as Joe pours his moans past his lips, Jack fucking him faster and settling his hand on Joe’s flank and rubbing with his palm, such contrast to the rhythm of his hips. Joe thinks he feels like a he could be a athlete, with the way his hips move fluidly and take what they want, claim Joe’s body.

Jack bucks his hips once, twice, then again before he pulls back from the kiss, pushing himself back onto his knees and slipping from Joe’s body. Joe whimpers, turning his head so he can watch as Jack reaches for the sachet again and squeezes the rest onto his fingers, wrapping them around his thick length.

Joe twists his neck to watch Jack tease the head of his cock through the latex, watches as he digs his sharp teeth into his full lower lip and his eyes flutter shut. Joe’s mouth gets wet at the thought of sucking his cock, tasting his precome as it dribbles down his throat and how his fingers would twist and pull his hair. Jack moans softly before pressing his hand back to the centre of Joe’s arse cheek, pulling him open and directing his cock to press against his hole.

He thrusts in fast, his palms flat in the sweaty creases of his underarms as he fucks Joe hard and fast enough that his back arches and his head tilts up, a long moan wracked from his throat. Joe drops to smother himself with the pillow, his mouth open wide and breathing out wet into the cover as Jack bucks into him.

Jack noses at his hairline, mixing in long, slow strokes between every couple of quick fucks. Joe can feel the tight muscle of his lower stomach with every hard thrust into him, and he whimpers before his hands are scrabbling and fitting over Jack’s, almost shaking as their fingers twist together. Joe’s elbow presses into Jack’s and Jack laughs softly, breathy, as Joe whines, before he’s plastering his body along the length of Joe’s back, sweaty skin to sweaty skin, and his hips thrust and grind against him, his nipples hard and rubbing against the soft skin that wraps over Joe’s shoulder blades.

Jack buries his nose in Joe’s hair, inhaling so that Joe can feel his ribs expand against his back, before Jack’s kissing and his hairline and down to his lips, a mix between frantic and calm. His hips slap against Joe’s arse as he kisses Joe until his mind is fuzzy and consumed by Jack’s scent and Jack’s touch and just Jack.

Joe works his hips back to meet Jack’s, chasing the taste of the vodka in the crevices of Jack’s mouth as he pushes back to get his cock deeper, have him drag over his spot harder. Jack holds it, sucking Joe’s tongue into his mouth as he twists his hips in small circles, his sac pressed against Joe’s.

When Jack breaks the kiss, his lips are red and Joe thinks his must be no better. His toes point and flex as Jack rests his hands on either side of his waist, holding him down as his hips rabbit against his arse.

Joe’s toes curl, his body trying to arch up as Jack holds him down and fucks him, mouth falling open as Jack hovers with his lips almost at Joe’s ear, hot breath shimmering out with every thrust. Joe’s skin tingles with it, and he feels like he’s flying as Jack dips to plaster along his back, mumbling out obscenities as his stubble scratches at the soft skin of Joe’s jaw.

His cock feels tortured; hard and drooling where it’s sandwiched between his tummy and the soft bedding, which starts to feel like fire against his sensitive cock’s head. Jack’s hands slip from his skin, his body sweat-slick as Jack fists the bedding on either side of him, his hips slapping against Joe’s arse as he pants. Joe’s mouth falls open as a constant string of moans just tumble out, long and needy.

He turns his face against the pillow, his cheeks blazing and skin tight, tries to raise himself up on his elbows to twist his body and look back at Jack. Jack smirks at him, his eyes dark and glinting and his mouth red. Jack holds steady eye-contact as he rams into him, Joe’s eyes sinking down to try and see where they meet before the position has his arms twitching and he’s falling back flat to the mattress.

Joe’s twists as much as he can, eyes drawn to the mess of black up Jack’s arm and how his muscles are trembling, his fingers tense and white-knuckled as he grips to the duvet and fucks Joe.

Jack must notice his mind wondering, because he changes tactic to short sharp thrusts, aimed directly at Joe’s prostate, that have Joe arching up, baring his neck and stretching his jaw up as he moans and whimpers, body shaking as Jack fucks him. He feels his skin draw tight, his muscles tensing, but then Jack’s kissing along his jaw and licking over the shell of his ear before his whiskey voice is murmuring, ‘Don’t you dare come, angel.’

Joe keens, trying to fend away the urge as Jack’s cock’s head rubs up against his spot while his own cock grinds against the duvet. A whine squeaks out of him, high and desperate, and he’s so close.

But Jack leans back on his knees and pulls Joe’s hips with him, bringing him back to rest on his knees, and he snakes his hand to wrap around the base of his cock, pinching down until Joe whimpers and he drops his face back to the pillow, the tingly sensitive dulling slightly as the urge to come calms down.

Jack slows then, back to his slow teasing drags that have Joe pulling and twisting on the sheets, biting down on the pillow cover as his hips shift back in a search for more. Jack laughs softly as his hips slow to an almost halt and Joe whines, a dry sob sitting beneath his collarbones as his body tingles with a need.

He fucks his hips back, his arse slapping against Jack’s lower stomach as he starts a rhythm of quickly working himself back on Jack’s cock. Jack laughs again, softer and more breathy, as his hand settles on Joe’s shoulder, pressing him down as he works his hips and tries to desperately fuck himself as Jack gives half-hearted thrusts into him.

Joe whines again, squeezing his eyes tight enough that he feels moisture at the corners, a soft sob finally escaping his lips. Jack’s laughter finally seems to die in his throat as Joe’s body shudders when he fucks himself back. Jack’s hand is scalding hot against his skin, his touch burning a brand into Joe’s skin as he slides his palm down between his shoulder blades and down over his spine before his fingers curl around Joe’s hip as Joe gives a weak hiccup and a pitiful whimper, his chest heaving as he pants with the exertion of thrusting back onto Jack’s cock.

Jack presses his hips back down, has Joe collapsing flat onto the mattress as he grinds his hips against Joe’s arse, cock buried inside him. Joe breathes in deeply, face pressed into the pillow as his fingers claw at the duvet. His body twitches and shivers as Jack bites at his shoulder, fucks him until he thinks he’s floating.

Jack’s pendant tickles between his shoulder blades again, and Joe can barely focus as he mouth pours out needy moans. Joe shifts to press his cheek against the pillow, needing the air as his chest heaves with it. Jack gives a hard thrust that makes Joe keen and a dry sob heave from his chest before Jack is swallowing it, sealing his lips in a kiss of all teeth and tongue.

When Jack pulls back, Joe’s eyes dart to his face, his hands scrabbling to cover Jack’s and twine their fingers together. Jack’s eyes are dark, teasing, and Joe has to look away. His eyes settle on their tangled fingers, and a high whimper sneaks past his lips as he feels another hot tear slip from the corner of his eye.

He props himself up onto his forearms, Jack targeting his poor prostate with each hard thrust and Joe’s eyes squeeze shut as a string of whimpers work their way out in a tone so much higher than Joe thought he would ever be capable of. Joe feels on fire, has three words ready to spill from his lips at his body’s confusion from so much concentrated pleasure.

Joe arches, his neck barring as Jack noses beneath his ear, presses a kiss to the column of his throat. Joe fucks back onto Jack, lifting his hips as he tries to match his body to Jack’s, his knees slipping on the sheets as he tries to get to his knees.

Jack holds himself up, lets Joe get himself onto his knees so he can have more propulsion when he pushes back onto his cock before he rests his hands hot on the skin of Joe’s waist.

While Joe tries to go faster, Jack slows, rubbing his thumbs down the line of his spine and back up, slotting to wrap his fingers over the lines of his ribs where they press out his skin. Joe whines, wiggling his hips back as Jack rubs his sweaty palms down Joe’s sides and settles them on his hips. He presses his fingers into the skin before he draws out, fucking back into Joe hard and fast.

Joe’s eyes roll back, a long moan coming from him as his head hangs down, shoulders tense as Jack grips tight to his hips and holds him steady as he pistons his hips forward. He runs a hand up the centre of Joe's back, resting in the centre and pressing as he leans his weight back and Joe whimpers, fingers clenching as Jack fucks him.

Jack’s fingers slip down to curl around the front of Joe's thigh, his fingers pressing into the flesh as he presses down on his back so his body arches into a bow.

'Fuck, Joe.' Jack spits, his fingers twitching where they rest against his back. Joe bites his lip, only able to nod in agreement as Jack brings his hand up so they both rest on Joe's spine, pressing him down into an arch and scrabbling against his skin as his skin slaps at the back of Joe's thighs, the dusting of hair beneath his navel tickling over Joe's tailbone as he curls his hips against Joe's bum.

He digs his nails into Joe’s skin as Joe sobs, whining high in his throat as Jack’s hips bounce against his arse. Joe bites into his forearm, his eyes squeezing as his cock thrums, his blood hot in his veins as Jack shadows over his back and slides in and out of his body. He curls his fingers around the back of Joe’s neck, pushing himself up to balance on his arm as his hips slap and Joe keens.

He slips his thigh to kneel over Joe’s, applying his leverage to fuck him harder and deeper as tears trickle down Joe’s flushed cheeks. Jack grips hard on his neck as Joe huffs for breath, his body twisting beneath Jack. Joe looks at him over his shoulder, his chest heaving desperately as tears stream from his eyes, his voice wet.

‘Please,’ he whimpers, his cock impossibly hard where it’s pressed against his stomach.

Jack fists his fingers into the sheets as Joe chews on his lower lip, tears streaking his rosy cheeks.

‘Fuck,’ Jack moans again, taking in the sight of Joe, flushed and pink and needy.

Jack presses Joe down, sliding his hand down his back to press his hips down as he draws himself out, Joe giving a pathetic little whimper.

‘Stay put,’ Jack whispers, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his wrist as Joe shakes to get into position, up on his forearms with his hair clinging to his forehead as the music from outside thumps into the room.

He teases his slick head over Joe’s hole, Joe letting out a soft mewl as his hips shift forward and Jack slowly sinks back in. He sets his hands on Joe’s shoulders, his fingers curling in and digging into the skin as he starts to fuck Joe and Joe keens, whines through his head as his eyes flutter between open and closed.

Jack grips harder to his shoulders as his hips slap his arse and the feeling as a new wave of tears rolling down Joe’s cheeks and his mouth stutters to form words, before all that’s coming from him is a gasping moan that pitches with each jab of Jack’ cock to his spot.

Jack leans in to kiss him, pressing his hands open-palmed to the bedspread so he can connect their lips in a slow kiss as his hips pause. He teases Joe’s mouth open, right from his ears, so that he can lick into him and taste him all he likes. Joe whines and feels the top of his head fly off as the steady moans that pour from him switch up higher.

Jack finishes the kiss by drawing back, leaving Joe to flop down on his hot chest and rest his cheek to the pillow, eyes closed as his chest heaves and he struggles to find breath. He forces it out, his throat feeling like velcro as he pants dryly and his tongue sits heavy behind his teeth.

His body starts to tingle, right up from his toes, through his thighs, up his spine, and all over his scalp. He feels like he’s flying, just whining pathetically as Jack fucks him hard enough to make him lose himself. Jack evens out his strokes, dragging them out longer, until he’s drawing out of Joe completely, and Joe can take a big gulp of air.

‘Okay babe, roll over for me.’ Jack says easily, just a hint of breath to his voice as he purrs over Joe ear, and Joe whimpers, his body heavy and lazy and thrumming. ‘Come on love, I know you can do it.’ he teases, and Joe can hear the smirk in his voice as he rolls over onto his back, hair fanning out against the pillows.

Jack grins at him, sharp teeth and blood red lips, and Joe feels a pitiful mewl on the tip of his tongue as Jack wraps his soft fingers around the angel bones of his ankles and pushes up so he can slot between his splayed legs and push Joe’s thighs to his chest. He pushes Joe, pushes his ankles further until they’re resting on his shoulders and Joe gives a dry sob as his muscles pull and screech, his body spread wide and vulnerable.

Joe gasps as Jack blindly presses his cock back inside Joe, stroking his fingers up his trembling thigh and grinning wickedly as Joe mewls, his eyelashes clumped and wet and his cheeks ruddy.

Joe reaches to grip high at his biceps as Jack decides to start rocking into him, stepping into the speeding pace as Joe’s eyes glue to his, hazy and trying to focus on the dark swirl of his irises as Jack fucks the sound out of him. Jack presses his forehead right up against Joe’s, noses brushing and breath hot as Joe’s upper canines dig into his lower lip again.

‘Touch your pretty cock for me please, princess,’ Jack growls, hot and gravelly over the wet of Joe’s mouth and Joe whines, takes a deep breath as he skirts his hand down his stomach and his fingertips graze the hot flesh of his cock.

He keens, his knuckles brushing against the wet tip being enough to make his toes curl in the bed as Jack pinches at the duvet, his brow furrowed as he fucks Joe and slaps his hips to the curve of Joe’s arse.

The soft hair trailing down from Jack’s navel tickles over the tight skin of Joe’s sac, the weight of his pendant dragging between Joe’s nipples. Joe sobs, cut off and soon replaced by a high whine. Jack’s thighs slap against his arse with each stroke, loud and crude and the sound makes Joe’s toes curl and a whiny whimper resonate from his chest.

The sweat of his skin sticks to Joe’s, until his skin is shiny and his eyes are dazed as Jack breathes the hot air from the efforts of keeping Joe on edge out over his bruised lips. Joe wraps his fingers around the base of his cock, feels the heat rush through his veins as Jack fucks his breathing into little pants, his fingers scalding against the tender skin of his cock as he fists himself lightly to the rhythm of Jack’s hips.

The backs of his thighs burn, pulled tight as Jack’s eyelashes flutter and Joe’s consumed with how beautiful he is, soft, forced breaths coming out his blood lips as he fucks Joe like it’s nothing, like Joe isn’t floating and crying from it. Joe gives a soft sob, his fingers squeezing under the head of his cock as words start to form in his throat, trying to get out. He finds himself almost confessing his love, his body too blissed to link the pleasure with anything other than a simple four lettered word as Jack’s wrists make contact with the sides of Joe’s ribs, hot and burning and Joe thinks he’s going to leave this room with the brand of the devil burnt into his skin.

Joe’s throat feels wet and it feels like he’s getting less and less air into his lungs, up to the point where he knows he should push Jack off him and take a deep breath before he lets him continue, but the restriction of air that makes its way into his lungs makes him desperate, makes his eyelids heavy and his fingertips tingle.

‘You gonna come yet, angel?’ Jack asks, and Joe nods, can feel it coursing out from his core and down through his limbs, the sticky sweet feeling of it slipping in between his joints and cuddling in with the marrow in his bones.

Jack pulls back and Joe whimpers, fresh teardrops tracing down the previous tracks before swimming out into the smudges of wet beside his mouth. ‘Not yet,’ Jack decides, an air of authority about him as he sits back and pinches at the base of his cock. He fixes his eyes to where Joe’s still working himself, desperate. He circles two fingers around the angel boned wrist and draws his hand from his cock, making Joe let out a soft, disobedient cry.

‘None of that babe, you’re gonna ride me now, okay?’

Joe gives a petulant whine and shakes his head, his body exhausted and lazy and he can feel the hot burn of tears streaking down his cheeks, and not for the first time that night, he feels like a little boy, arguing with his mum about eating his vegetables.

Joe’s eyes squeeze shut, and there’s a soft hand cupping his jaw, a thumb swiping under the line of his clumped eyelashes to brush away his tears. Fingers circle his throbbing cock and he gasps, his body shivering and his hips twitching as his fingers clench in the duvet.

‘Come on princess, you can do it. Up you get. You’re so good for me.’

Joe whines as Jack drags his palm over Joe’s tip, catching the wet and smoothing it down, before he’s offering Joe a hand and encouraging him up. Joe lets himself be pulled up, reaching for Jack as he slumps forward into Jack’s chest.

Jack wraps his arms around him and kisses his forehead, and Joe feels a little dazed as he smiles at him. Jack just wipes his hair back off his forehead and kisses the tip of his nose, a hint of tenderness to his smirking bravado.

He releases Joe to lie flat on his back, resting on his elbows and Joe wriggles to face him. He’s struck again by how gorgeous he is; glowing skin and bright eyes and bitten lips and soft hair pushed up and back. Joe wants to nip at the black ink buried under his skin, kiss all over his body until he’s holding back moans and pushing Joe's face in to his lap, fucking his throat raw.

Jack’s still catching his breath, and that makes Joe feel less ashamed of his heaving chest and wet cheeks and shaking fingers as he crawls over Jack’s body, hovering with his knees spread over Jack’s hips and ducking his neck down to kiss him where he’s sharp and grinning back against the fluffy pillows.

Joe kisses Jack with pliant lips and soft tongue and somewhere under the haze of his mind, he wonders what his mum would think of him, coming to a party dressed in girls’ clothing and getting fucked by some friend of Caspar’s older friend. Jack runs his hands down his sides, squeezes at the soft skin of him before sloping down the curve of his bum, into where he’s spread and slipping two fingers back into his arse.

‘You’re so tight,’ Jack sighs, his fingers just slowly fucking in and out of Joe’s body, as if Joe isn’t slowly rolling back down from where he was almost reaching climax. ‘so soft.’ He squeezes the curve of Joe’s arse, and although Joe isn’t standing right on the peak of coming, his cock is still hard and full, wet and pink against his stomach, and he knows that he’ll be back onto his brink as soon as Jack’s fucking him again.

Jack withdraws his fingers from him, wiping them off before he wraps his fist around himself, stroking lazily so that the head of his cock jostles behind Joe’s balls with every other stroke as Jack licks away the strong alcohol on Joe’s tongue. Jack rests one arm behind his head as Joe takes a deep breath and sits up, hovering over where Jack stills his arm and Joe can feel his slick cock’s head slip against his thigh as Jack holds himself still for Joe.

Joe bites at his finger, looking down to where Jack is looking right back up at him, his eyes lined dark and cheeks a bit pink.

Joe reaches down behind himself to wrap his own fist around Jack’s cock, knocking Jack's away and squeezing at his length as he widens his knees. He keeps his eyes on Jack as he leans back, Jack’s head nudging at his abused rim before Joe’s leaning into it and sinking down on his cock, his mouth open.

Jack rubs a thumb over the head of Joe’s prick, and Joe’s eyes roll back. He shifts his body around, watching as Jack slips and he gets a frantic look on his features and reaches for Joe, fingers just grazing his thigh before his cock is slipping out.

Joe reaches back for him, sitting back onto his cock and biting his lip at the feeling before he’s leaning his body back, resting his palm between Jack’s thighs and arching his back. Jack looks ready to reach for him as he grinds his hips forwards and backwards, but he keeps his hand just above his head, his fingers twitching as he watches the bob of Joe’s cock.

Joe leans back into himself, placing one hand on Jack’s stomach and letting the other tease down his own stomach, pulling on his nipples so that his eyes squeeze shut and his cock jumps. He skirts his hand lower down his stomach as Jack pants, Joe rocking his body to and fro so that his arse rubs against Jack’s stomach.

When he wraps his fist around his leaking cock, his eyelashes flutter and his grind falters, his hips twitching as his fingers tense and clench, his nails pressing blunt into the soft-covered muscle beneath Jack’s ribs.

Joe keeps his back straight, forcing out controlled breaths as he watches Jack slowly slip into a puddle like he made him while Joe clenches down around him and rocks his hips backwards and forwards, so that his cock can nudge his spot and his cock leaks another fat bead of precome, landing flat on Jack’s stomach.

Jack finally gives in and reaches for him, his eyes fixed to where Joe fists himself, before he rests one hand on Joe’s stomach and then the other; he traces them up between his tight-twisted nipples and rubbing down over the buds.

Joe throws his head back, his fingers slipping to clutch at Jack’s hip as he wanks his cock quickly while the feeling starts again as a little tingle in the tips of his toes and the tips of his ears. Jack pinches at his nipples, twisting them slightly as Joe rocks his hips faster, getting sloppy and clumsy with the speed of it as his fingers rush to touch himself, Jack’s cock hitting perfectly inside him as a high sound works out.

Joe’s eyes try to flutter closed, lids heavy and head tipping to one side as he starts to lose his thrive, his hips slowing ever so slightly and his fist stuttering in his quick strokes. Jack rolls his nipples between his thumbs, and Joe mewls, his chin tipping forward so his curls are in his eyes. He has sweat dotted down the line of his back and in his neck and he slowly loses steam.

Jack traces his hands down Joe’s sides, one hand hovering over his hip while the other spans over his thigh before Joe can reach down for Jack’s right hand with his left, tangling their fingers together as Jack slides his sweaty palm back up Joe’s side to thumb over the blood-red rosebud of his nipple as Joe clings his fingers around Jack’, palm clammy.

Jack squeezes his hand, and Joe grinds his hips faster, motivated by the small puffs of breath Jack releases, his hair messy and his eyes dark. Jack’s hand gets thrown from Joe’s chest in the move of it, Joe’s body rocking back and forth almost violently so Jack is left to just rest his hand on his thigh, squeezing at the soft skin.

Joe drops his hand and Jack lets go of him, arms splaying on the sheet as Joe looks down and focuses on Jack’s bruised mouth, fucking himself hard on his cock as he just tries to focus and stay put, his hips bucking forward wildly as his body writhes and his toes clench. His body wriggles with it, messy and sloppy and clumsy as his hand is a blur over his cock, a high whine coming from inside him as he climbs higher towards summit.

He presses his palm flat down on Jack’s chest, his body hot and bursting against too-tight skin as he leans into his arm and jerks his poor cock, Jack’s cock keeping him full as he fucks himself back. His eyes burn with it as his skin tingles and tears drip out, his mind going numb and his thoughts slowing to honey as he squeezes his eyes shut and focuses on the feeling of it.

Jack beneath him, Jack inside him, Jack holding onto his elbow to keep him steady as pleasure slowly fills up his limbs again, slipping through joints and lacing through his bones as a loud sob wracks him before Jack is wrapping his fist around Joe’s and helping him and Joe’s gone.

His body lights up, igniting as sweat clings to him and Jack fucks him just right, their fists fast as Joe’s cock gives a strong jolt and he’s coming, streaking out in ribbons over Jack’s stomach and Joe sobs, his body tense before he starts to shake, his arm buckling to he crumbles into Jack’s chest.

His body shakes with pitiful sobs, spit wetting his chin as he cries into Jack’s chest, twitching in his lap. Jack strokes up the line of his spine, cooing in his ear and petting him softly as Joe hiccups and wails into his skin, fingers twitching in the bedding. Jack sounds breathless as he murmurs encouragement into Joe’s ear, his heart beat erratic against Joe’s through the jackets of their skin and protection of their bones.

Joe feels warm all over, boiling hot in his centre, and it takes his hazy mind much longer than it should to realize that Jack’s jerking himself off, arm rubbing against his skin before he’s gasping into Joe’s ear and there’s sticky warmth mapped out over the curve of his back.

Joe whimpers, his sobs quieting to hiccups as the last of his tears trickle down. Jack tries to calm himself quickly, sucking in air as he kisses Joe’s forehead.

Joe just snuffles and lets Jack tilt his chin up, kissing him softly and running his hands up his smooth sides. He feels raw and sleepy, body warm and sated as his mind wanders between clouds and Jack goes about asking him simple questions about himself, trying to get longer answers out of him until he’s sure Joe’s fine.

Jack’s in the middle of what sounds like he might be kicking Joe out when Joe decides to fall asleep, dead to the world and snuffling into Jack’s neck.

But at least when he wakes up, hours later, Jack is cuddled into his hair with his arms looped loosely around him.

[chemorygunko]

GLOBAL CHECK IN – 23 February 2017

OR…DID YOU SEE THAT BUS?

 Morning Beautiful Souls <3

So wow – the last couple of weeks have definitely been something.

We had a full moon followed by a lunar eclipse, and it seems to have thrown everything out of whack. The Masters were also working in the field, and we’ve had a round of Ascension energy, followed by creation energy, which has been side-by-side with loneliness.

So that yeuchy feeling you’re feeling in the field – that’s loneliness. It’s the actual aspect of loneliness, and the Masters have put it in the morphic field in order to kickstart reactions in us and make us feel unsettled with parts of our lives so that we make changes.

To be dead honest, I didn’t expect such a big surge so soon after we’ve just finished last year, but what they’re showing me is that the people being impacted now are really going through what we went through right at the beginning of this stage in our journeys: so people are losing jobs, losing income, ending relationships, dealing with deaths – and starting to download information.

The thing about downloads is that they always have ego deaths involved…. you lose a sense of your own self importance and change your belief system in order to accept many of these new concepts.

You also see it on the take-it-personally level in the beginning because the ego journey is the spiritual journey, so your ego gets slammed over and over again, making the whole process look like a lot of bad luck aimed at you. Or a curse. Or an entity J

This triggers lack of self worth (which you have to go through to reach the resonance of ‘I don’t matter’), which makes the ego deaths even worse and triggers suicide feelings. The suicidal feelings are also a warning of the impending ego death.

EGO DEATHS, ROCK BOTTOM & I DON’T MATTER

When this stage of the journey first started happening to me, I couldn’t make any sense of it – it doesn’t make sense how accepting that you are worthless can lead to a breakthrough. I mean aren’t we meant to be realising we’re Gods?

But the lessons kept coming, in deeper and deeper forms, and so I learned to surrender to them over time, making the time period that they lasted shorter. Surrender exercises and tools: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-surrender-to-and-accept-situations

These lessons are hard, because the very thing you’re trying to eliminate is your sense of self importance, the idea that you even exist or that your needs matter.

The why of why it has to happen is truly only something you’ll really understand once you reach that place of understanding, but it’s important. And if you’re getting lessons like this, it’s a sign of your advancement on your journey.

The thing about these lessons – they’re a lot of work for a little reward at first, and the ego (self importance) part of you, will rail back at first, feeling punished and wallowing in self pity.

The Answer? Surrender. Just try and accept the worst possible feeling you can, e.g. I will never matter, I will never add any value, No one cares if I live or die… and then try to get there as quickly as possible. There is enormous relief and release at the bottom of these lessons.

INFORMATION DOWNLOADS

There is a ton of new information coming through right now – so you have to give it time to download. Chatting to Shaman Jono, we both feel this will probably carry on until the end of the month or so.

The info coming through right now is in pieces, but it’s directional info. So you will start seeing a clear direction from the end of the month. If you can force yourself to focus now, there’s a really nice creative flow you can slide into… if you’re happy to work haphazardly.

Pray for clarity. There’s so much confusion going on right now, but praying for clarity seems to help. So try:

“Holy Spirit, I don’t know how to do this and so I ask you to help me. Please release this ego identification of the thought of confusion and overwhelm and show me how to experience clarity.”

You can add in any other ego responses you’re experiencing, e.g. doubt, shame, fear, anxiety, worry, anger, resistance – anything really.

PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS

Okay these have been off the charts, with dreams and gastro stuff at the top of the list.

Tummies are bubbling, running, upset, unsettled, and more. Not much heartburn luckily, but loads of actual release movement – and bouts of nausea and vomiting, depending on how much you’re releasing right now.

Definite feeling of Ascension Flu and tiredness – although that is also driven by the crazy sleep patterns. Gall Bladder and Liver Meridian cycles are off the charts (these tend to be your main processors), so not being able to sleep until 3AM, or waking up between 11PM – 3AM is pretty common right now. Which is odd, cos you’re tired the rest of the day lol J Sleep would be good.

Dreams have changed amazingly, and there is so much dreaming going on. I went through a period of about seven years of very little to no dreaming, and now every time I wake up it’s in the middle of a dream again.

This has it’s own impact on your energy levels, because your dreams are so busy that you don’t get proper rest. It’s a side effect of your crown and brow chakras opening – it’s often easier for you to accept a layer of subconscious info (dream) first, and then the conscious lesson.

RESOURCES & WAY FORWARD

As above, ride it out til month end if you can. You’re not going to get much done in the next few days anyway, so try and rest if you can. Wait until the beginning of March before you send any marketing or do much in terms of movement – the energy for starting stuff isn’t great.

If you do need to work on something to get it moving, or to relieve your anxiety, try as far as possible to work on behind the scenes stuff and leave marketing and getting out there until 1 March.

If you are feeling guilty about resting, hand over that ego identification of guilt to the Holy Spirit as well J

This article (and videos) will help you understand the shifting cycles and what your body is going through right now - http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/make-your-healing-and-growth-easier-by-understanding-the-different-kinds-of-shifts-and-shifting-cycles

Finding your pattern can make it a lot easier to traverse this.

As always – do your basics!! The Butterfly Release has been a life saver for me the last few weeks and is FABULOUS for getting some clarity and lifting the fog from your head! http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/butterfly-release-3-minutes-with-instructions-cloud-focus

All the shifting basic tools are on this page as well: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/energy-healing-shifting-basics-free-resources

You may want to do the full morning routine and some Cortices Tapping to support your system as well.

Hang in there – most of us are taking serious strain right now and the timing feels terrible because all the changes in our lives have made us anxious to move forward.

If you’ve lost a loved one, or lost a job or income, or left a relationship, or are experiencing difficulty with the people around you…. it’s this period. That’s the first level of DON’T TAKE IT SO PERSONALLY. This is happening to ALL of us, not just you J

People seem off and distant, disinterested… and that can make you feel very isolated and alone. This is a period of loneliness – and it too shall pass. Probably by 1 March

Go easy on yourself and give yoruself a big hug from me. I love you, you matter… and thank God we have answers to what is happening to us now at least. Can you imagine going back to a time where we were as confused as a few years back?

Love & light always

Chemory xo

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