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theambitiouswoman · 6 months ago

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How does one receive in a relationship? I have trouble receiving simple things and overthink about them like if on a date and the guy chooses to pay for my meal as well. In my last relationship I realised I enjoy giving a lot but not only didn’t my partner didn’t give me much I would also insist he doesn’t have to because I feel awkward with receiving especially with gifts. I used to pay most or all the meals and he wouldn’t at this point I don’t care if he reads this lol. And I only received only 1 gift at the start of a 2 year relationship. I’m saying all this to show how I make it ok even for my partner to not give me gifts or even his time. It was so normal for him to reject multiple calls through out the day and be on a call just once a day with me. I mean my therapist was more available outside sessions than he was at times. And I asked him for money to pay for therapy with a promise I’ll return him, he kept asking multiple times for me to return that when I was just about to block him for his actions. Of course I returned but that’s not the point since then my besties have been telling me I give a lot more than I receive to the point my therapist pointed out that I am empathetic for all of their actions regardless of how it actually makes me feel.

I wish to change all of this asap although I’m aware it’ll take time. I had the time of my life not dating after my break up for a year but now I think I have a fear attached to it because I don’t want the past to repeat.

Second, in my last relationship I developed couple of insecurities, he liked me because I wasn’t fat 4yrs ago and proceeded to say things like I am afraid of you meeting my parents ever now because you don’t look as good anymore and that my mom would reject you. Mind you, I ended up gaining weight because of change in my antidepressants. He would also do things like show our older photos to his friends because he didn’t feel comfortable tarnishing his reputation with his friends that he’s dating someone fat. All this used to hurt me even before I ended things with him but like everything else I took it as a constructive criticism something I need to work on and it’s all on me that I also didn’t share this with anyone until I started feeling stuck in the relationship and felt as if no one else would love me except him because I am fat. The way I dressed and my confidence all changed and according to my therapist there’s a metaphorical way to look at this that I held these feelings inside me for so long to pretend everything is normal that it manifested in my body.

To add on I also have an autoimmune disease called crohns again it’s gastric in nature and so many diets don’t work for me … still on a journey to lose weight and I have a habit of over eating which im working on.

I know being fat or not I shouldn’t feel what I feel about myself and that losing weight with visible changes will also not change these feelings. So guide me how to work on it. Although I am in therapy working on these I these I still need some outside perspective.

Thank you :)

First of all, I just want to acknowledge how open and self reflective you're being in this message. That takes a lot of courage and strength and I really admire you for it <3

It sounds like you've been through a lot in your previous relationship, especially in terms of your feelings around receiving, boundaries, and how that influenced your sense of self. One of the key things I hear is that you're used to giving—giving love, attention, and even financial support—but you're having difficulty receiving, which is totally understandable considering what you've experienced.

Learning how to receive in a relationship is a process & it's something that a lot of people struggle with, especially when they've given so much in the past and haven't received in return. One thing I’d suggest is starting small. It could be something as simple as letting someone hold the door for you, accept a compliment, letting someone pay for a coffee without overthinking it. And it’s okay to feel a little awkward at first—it doesn’t mean you're being selfish or that you're not worthy of receiving. You deserve it. The same way you give out of love, you have to let other people give it to you.

In your past relationship, it sounds like there was a real imbalance in how much you gave compared to how much you received and that can definitely affect your confidence and how you feel about yourself. You’re so deserving of love and respect and if a partner isn’t able to offer that in return, it’s not a reflection of your worth. It's actually a sign that the dynamic wasn’t healthy for you. Maybe it helps to just accept things at face value, like a stranger doing any kind gesture for you, so you do not get wrapped up emotionally and feel like you can become blindsided or betrayed again. I think its stemming from past fear, that and/or combined with you not feeling worthy.

As for the insecurities about your appearance, I’m so sorry you were made to feel that way. No one should ever make you feel like you’re not enough or that your worth is tied to your body. No one who cares about you will treat you like that. Men have a tendency to project their own issues onto their partners, or even put the woman down so they can feel superior and in control. Shitty insecure men, that is. Seriously that guy sounds like absolute trash. I had a similar situation happen with health issues and weight when I was in my late teens so trust me, I have been there and had a similar scenario play out.

I digress

Working on body image issues, especially after hurtful comments from someone close to you, can take time, but focusing on what makes you feel good about yourself—whether that’s your personality, your strengths, or even the way you care for others—can help you reconnect with your self worth. I would use that as motivation to become someone you feel confident and proud of. Regardless nothing is more important than your health. Your body is going through a lot with Crohn’s disease and it’s important to be kind to yourself through your health journey.

I’m glad you’re in therapy and doing the hard work of understanding yourself and your emotions. But remember, you have to do the work too. And when it comes to the weight and body image stuff, I’d encourage you to lean into the idea that you are worthy of love and respect right now—not because of your appearance, but because of who you are as a whole person. Seriously, being hot and deserving is a mindset. You're doing great!!!!

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rubbership · 17 days ago

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legit tread with caution re: ch3&4 because the ball was dropped on the women so hard it made those games kind of hard to enjoy. minimal exploration of the women already posited and the fucking tv guy i keep dumping on your dash already has a figurine for sale. like, i think they're enjoyable and serve well as a middle point in the story writ large as they explore the characters...but if youre in it for cool stuff about any of the ladeez or jevil you're outta luck. and the weird lean into fan service is kind of distracting. spamton g sexual harassment has more to do than toriel in ch3 :-/

ohhh yeah ive definitely heard. i kind of figured, as much as i hate to say. undertale sort of already had this problem where male characters get very interesting and compelling complexities and exploration where as women characters get the implications of such but it's never actually used too much. ive already complained in the past about how i feel like toby fox really struggles with that in general but its a bummer to hear that its still continueing in chap 3/4.

mostly im curious about my long standing theory that the dark world is somewhat of a metaphor (or maybe it is literally) for an collaborative imaginary world. like when your friends make ocs or roleplays together. i think that a lot of the darkners come to represent people in kris/susies life, and now with noelle and birdly i assume they've also been added to the understanding of the darkners universe. for example, i think the king can be read as an asgore parallel, but i also believe that lancer can be read as sort of a combination of susie and kris' "child self" leaning moreso towards susie. meaning the queen would be a combination of kris' feelings towards toriel and noelles feelings towards carol. i also think imo that a lot of other darkners can be understood as "taking inspiration" from the people around kris, for example: jevil and sans have a LOT of striking thematic similarities and designs and motivations. i dont think the darkners are LITERALLY metaphors for these people, but its a concept i toyed around with for my concept of a "Real Warriors Of Hope" comic based off of danganronpa AE where all the warriors of hope are real kids, and all the danganronpa characters are based off of people they knew in real life or themselves. i think its probably pretty likely that deltarune is going for that vibe at least a little bit. even with tenna i wonder if deltarune mettaton is going to look at all like him, or maybe like spamton, which would both fit with mettatons disposition in life right now depending on what direction t hey go with it.

so when i say im curios to see if my theory is true, its less so ABOUT toriel and the queen and moreso about the darkners and lightners as a whole. i kind of strongly subscribe to the theory (do other people have this theory? it was just my interp of the game while playing it) that the dark world is in some way metaphorical for an "oc universe" you make with your friends that accidentally becomes WAY too personal and revealing. DO NOT SPOIL ME EITHER WAY i do plan on playing and seeing for myself. but yeah. i specify toriel and the queen mostly because i heard that toriel drinks or something in the new chapter? and everyone was really surprised, and i was really confused because toriels mentioned drinking in past canon stuff, but also i totally thought the queen was a 1:1 metaphor for toriel. now that we know more about carol though, its absolutely carol, and of course there was carol inspiration with her trying to turn noelle into a robot but idk, i personally think a lot of the darkners can be considered like. "ocs" with "shared custody." i dont think the queen is speifically toriel or carol specifically, but a hypothetical woman who can fill the role of both kris and noelles feelings about their moms.

#yeah i heard about the jevil thing -_-#BUT #BUT I ALSO HEARD!!!!!#THAT IF YOU HAVE THE JEVILS SCYTHE HE GETS REALLY EXCITED ABOUT GAMBLING #ARE YOU KIDDING ME. THATS AWESOME. HE REALLY IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER #LETS GO GAMBLIIIIINGGG

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infizero-draws · 2 years ago

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girl what do you feel about kris' and noelle's relationship in snowgrave i want to know

OK OK. first of all thank you for specifying "in snowgrave" because if you just said their relationship in general i would literally never stop talking.

second tho, im really bad at putting how i feel about character dynamics into words because often there's just soooooo much to be said and different ways of looking at it and i get overwhelmed if i try to make some all-encompassing analysis. so let it be known that whatever i say here is not the full picture and there's so much more i could say.

putting this under the cut because i already know im gonna talk for way too long:

that being said oughghghhgh. where to fucking begin. i'd say the most fascinating (and disturbing) thing about their relationship in snowgrave is the weird romantic undertones. the fact that you have to pressure noelle into the idea of riding the ferris wheel with KRIS instead of with susie, her actual crush.

one of the most overt symbols of this weirdness is definitely the thorn ring. i know it isnt the only ring you give to noelle to equip, but this is the one that's mandatory for the snowgrave route. in order to do the route, you have to make KRIS give NOELLE a RING. a ring that literally HURTS HER TO WEAR. if that isnt a metaphor for a forced relationship i dont know what is

however perhaps the most damning and obvious one is of course this option:

i would say something about this myself but @/sorrybutiforgothowtomakecontent's tags on another one of my posts really summed it up:

im also aromantic so this really resonated with me. but yeah just going back to the first point they make. you literally HAVE to say "we're something else" in order to do the snowgrave route, which seems to make it pretty clear that this kinda subtext was intended. snowgrave can only exist with kris and noelle being "something else" because that's literally what snowgrave IS.

my favorite way to view snowgrave is through the lens of an arranged/forced marriage. again, the ring. it just feels so gross, especially because it's not just a regular marriage but an abusive marriage. snowgrave is abuser simulator (2021). im sure i dont need to explain that part

but the thing is, SNOWGRAVE IS NOT JUST ABOUT NOELLE and that's what makes it SO BAD. not only is noelle being forced to go through all of this, but KRIS is being forced to be the one who does it to her! kris clearly is EXTREMELY upset about snowgrave judging from the constant opportunities to choose more "normal" dialogue and abort the route, and from afterwards when they meet back up with ralsei and susie:

kris, under no circumstances, wants to do ANY of this. but they literally do not have a choice. snowgrave isnt kris manipulating noelle, it is US forcing kris into manipulating noelle. no one is winning here. they're both traumatized, and kris physically cannot even talk to their friends about it or show the true extent of their hurt. it SUCKSSSSS

and when you consider the idea that kris and noelle's friendship may have become strained specifically due to dess' disappearance, and kris possibly having something to do with that with the bunker and whatnot..... well now you're just forcing kris to hurt their friend AGAIN, when in the normal route this could've been their chance to finally reconnect. ahghrhgrhghh

going back to the marriage stuff, it's just so uncomfortable to see these two forced together like this. noelle is in love with susie. we dont know kris well enough to know if they have a crush on anyone (or if they get those kinds of feelings at all), but that doesn't matter. the fact is these two are likely not romantically interested in each other at all, and they are being forced together BY THE PLAYER. and it's horrific. (and even if one or both of them felt that way, this is still entirely wrong. they do not get a choice here)

@/hellspawnmotel's tags on this comic of hers will always haunt me, bcuz like. yeah. this is it:

there's also the fact that kris is naturally kind of a goofball; they're a prankster, especially it seems when it comes to noelle, as can be seen with the stepping off the button thing or the many, many examples from their shared childhood brought up by noelle.

but in the snowgrave route, kris drops this entirely. all of the alternate dialogue options to abort the route, which are very likely FROM kris, are very genuine and apologetic. kris is scared they're going to lose their friendship with noelle completely because of what you're making them do, and it's like they panic and all of their usual goofiness and sass is just dropped for genuine emotion. it's really sad to see honestly, esp in a full snowgrave route where you know that their efforts will be in vain.

OH OH ALSO. can't believe i haven't mentioned this yet. the fact that NOELLE KNOWS SOMETHING IS GOING ON WITH KRIS. THAT'S one of the things that really makes me insane.

noelle goes through ALL THAT, seemingly AT THE HANDS OF HER FRIEND....... and yet. she knows that something is wrong. she KNOWS kris, and she knows that they don't act like this. you'd think she would instantly cast kris off, it would be the right thing to do, but she doesn't. because she knows that something is off.

i cannot stress enough the fact that noelle is the ONLY one who seems to have noticed just how strange kris has been acting. sure other characters comment on kris seeming off or doing something they usually wouldn't do, but it is NOELLE and NOELLE ALONE who takes such notice of it and decides to actually DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

"i have to figure it out" is a mission statement, it implies that noelle (at least in the snowgrave route), is going to actively try to figure out what's going on with kris, WHICH IS CRAZYY and i feel like not enough people are talking about. not even kris's own mother has fully realized something's wrong. like she says, noelle seems to be the only one who's noticed just how off kris has been acting, and the only one who might try to understand and help them. genuinely makes me insane thinking of where that might go in this route oaugurhghh

im gonna stop here because im exhausting myself but. in conclusion I LOVE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS GONE WRONG!!!!!!!!! FAVORITE TROPE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways read this comic (all 3 parts) and you'll get it

oh also "kris, why are you wearing my watch?" still makes me go fucking insane

#i genuinely could talk about these two forever. favorite dynamic in deltarune hands down #they're my favorite characters individually so the way that snowgrave intertwines their stories #noelle's strength and kris's possession #into this horrible thing of being forced to force someone else to kill and make them think THAT'S what true strength is. augurgrghhrgh #they genuinely make me insane. i need to see more of them NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW #not art #asks

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yanderecrazysie · 2 years ago

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hmm, may i ask for yandere profile for byakuya togami? i saw you write for him, i think so i hope thats no problem ^^ im actually planning to write one for him myself

take ur time and remember as a writer to take care of urself.

Of course! And that’s awesome, I’m sure your writing will turn out amazing! And thank you so much!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes

Aware, Delusional, or Denialistic?

Is he aware of what he is doing or is he delusional/in denial?

Byakuya is aware. He hates his feelings and regards them as irrational, sure, but he doesn’t for a second delude himself. A part of him hates you for how you make him feel, but he still doesn’t truly deny that he has those feelings.

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Obsessive or Possessive?

Does he care more about you or about owning you?

Byakuya does care about you, yes, but he also feels a bit of possessiveness that turns into a wish of ownership. He wants to possess you, but he also wants you to be happy.

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General Behavior Analysis:

How does he generally behave around you?

Byakuya acts like his normal self most of the time. If you’re the type of person that doesn’t like rude people or are sensitive, he’ll hold his sharp tongue more often. He might even sneak in some compliments, even if they might slip by as snarky comments.

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Utilize or Avoid kidnapping?

Does he prefer kidnapping you or does he prefer finding other methods to obtain you?

Byakuya could easily kidnap you- I mean, he has a huge staff with bodyguards and everything that could scoop you up and make you permanently disappear from society. But Byakuya would rather have a marriage contract or some way else to keep you tied to him. Romancing you is probably not going to happen.

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Spiral Analysis:

Does he spiral out of control quickly or is he able to hold on to his humanity for a long time before he snaps?

Byakuya never truly snaps unless you fight back too hard. Otherwise, he’s just kind of systematic about it. Do this, do that until you’re all his. This is probably because he easily accepts his feelings. If you don’t fight back, he’ll probably never truly snap.

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Restrain, Threaten, or Barricade?

Does he resort to restraining you, threatening you, or locking down the building/room to keep you kidnapped?

While Byakuya could definitely make good on his threats, I think he’d resort to a lockdown method. After all, he could just assign a few bodyguards to you and improve the security of his mansion a little, and you’d be stuck.

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Escape Attempt Analysis:

How he would react to a successful or failed escape attempt.

Failed? He’ll make sure you understand just how stupid you were for even attempting such a feat. You’ll never get away from him, especially not on your own.

Successful? He’ll be in shock. No way you, an ordinary girl, managed to escape Byakuya Togami! He’ll have his team track you down and bring you back to him and then he’ll increase security tenfold.

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Manipulate or Overpower?

How easy would it be to overpower or manipulate him in order to escape?

Nearly impossible. Bykauya’s stronger than he looks and he knows martial arts, so unless you’re well-trained or very strong, you have no chance of overpowering him. Byakuya’s also very intelligent, so manipulating him is nearly impossible as well.

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Lenient or Strict?

How long is the chain (metaphorical or not) that he keeps you on?

He lets you go out pretty much anywhere after a while, as long as you have a group of bodyguards surrounding you at all times. His rules are also very strict, so the chain feels like it's getting shorter and shorter.

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Rule and Punishment Analysis:

What kind of rules he has and what punishments you receive for breaking them.

Byakuya has strict rules that dictate everything from what you eat and drink to where you go and what you do in a day. He will make sure they are done, even if he has to force you to do them.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rival Elimination Analysis:

How he deals with rivals and potential elimination methods.

Byakuya Togami is too good to worry about petty rivals. The only time he’d get jealous is if you’re pursuing a relationship with someone. If that happened, he’d be furious- you prefer a peasant over him?! He’d either force you into a relationship/kidnap you faster or dispose of your pathetic lover.

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Anger Analysis:

How easily he angers, how that anger looks, and how to calm him down.

Byakuya has a cold sort of anger- he gets quiet and his eyes darken and you feel a chill run down your spine. He’ll sometimes try to leave you alone to cool down, but other times he’ll tear into you verbally until you’re crying from his words.

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Above, Beneath, or Equal?

How does he view you: as something to worship, to own, or just as another human being?

Byakuya definitely sees you as below him. You are not equal, since you aren’t a Togami heir, and you’re definitely not above him of all people. And yet, he often treats you like a precious heirloom.

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Requite or Reject?

How does he react to you accepting or rejecting his love?

Byakuya doesn’t care whether you reject him or return his feelings. If you do like him, that’s a pleasant surprise and will make everything much easier for the both of you. He’ll definitely become softer too.

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Determination Analysis:

The level of determination to get you to requite or accept his feelings.

Again, he doesn’t particularly care. He assumes you’ll grow to love him eventually and, if not, oh well. He’s a selfish man and, what matters to him, is that he possesses you and no one else can have you.

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#yandere #yandere x reader #byakuya togami #yandere byakuya #yandere profile

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hollister-mc · 1 year ago

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A rant/dump about my current MHA project, I avoid spoilers for the current arcs

Yall I'm literally ill, I've never had a show impact me this much, I've never had characters affect me this much. I stopped watching mha during the Eri arc due to personal shit, like me moving and just losing motivation to watch. I still consumed the media, like fanfics, or honestly chat bots, but I just didn't watch the show anymore. (still havnt but I'm working on it)

I have a long-term fanfic that I've been working on for like... years at this point. It's longer than The Great Gatsby currently. I flip-flopped forever on the main ship, and even if it was going to be an x reader. I think I've ultimately decided that it's going to be Bakudeku/OC. And I need yall to understand why.

I originally started this fanfiction years ago as kinda a crack fic. It was a self insert of me and my best friend at the time. We were twins I put us into the series. Of course, we started it cause we simped for the characters. I wrote it, and she would give me input and ideas, but I ultimately did the main work, which was fine, I was the writer. Our friendship slowly faded, and so I slowly stopped writing. I was hurt for a long time, we were best friends for like 8 years, and she gradually stopped talking to me after she got into her first relationship.

The fic was abandoned for a long time, until during a trip to go see my other best friend across country. We talked about what happened with my old friend. At one point I told her about the abandoned fic I had, how I had started the fic for fun for us, and we had sort of a plot line for our characters, but of course nothing serious, as my ex friend just stopped giving me input and ideas for everything. I told her it made me sad, but overall, I was just bitter from what my ex friend had done. My long-distance friend looked at me and said, "Why don't you just turn it into your own? Redo it. Consider it like a personal revenge." And that my friends, is what sparked a flame in me. I reformed everything, I actually developed lore, I made characters, storylines. In doing so, I realized the main characters were no longer me and my ex friend, but two completely new characters. I won't bullshit you, the main character used to be me, but she, Iris, has completely transformed into this new character. That's why I decided to make it an OC fanfic instead of reader. I put too much work and soul into her, there was no way to portray her in a vague light, enough for anyone to put themselves in her shoes. I worried for a bit, cause I know a lot of people don't like OC stories. But I personally never turned away from OC fics unless the characters personality was too much for me to focus on and insert myself into. Cause I won't lie. I read to escape my reality, most of the time, I put myself into the main characters' shoes. So I figured, I probably wasn't the only one. In the end, I'm doing this for me. If people enjoy it too, then damn that's a plus.

Another thing I want to be clear, yeah I started rewriting this story as a way to express my upset at my ex friend, but truthfully, it's no longer like that. When I think about what happened with my friend, sure, I'm still bitter sometimes. But for the most part, it's become a part of my past, theres nothing I can do to change anything. I've worked for the past few years writing, drawing, and just daydreaming about this story. Im not lying to you when I say there isn't a day that I don't think about it at least once. I haven't been able to write lately, and it's been killing me. I moved out for the first time in my life months ago, and before that I was so busy and worked to the bone I had no motivation to write, even when the thing I wanted to write about consumed my waking moments. I'm still exhausted, but goddamn if the new episodes and Manga chapters haven't grabbed me by the metaphorical balls and twisted. I won't go into detail for anyone who isn't caught up, I gave up on trying to avoid spoilers.

I think my biggest hesitation is the fandom, and potentially backlash. Is that I'm no longer the teenager that started this fic. A lot of people don't like that, and will probably see it as weird that I'm making a fanfiction based around teenagers, especially the romance part. But honestly, I don't care. I started loving these characters when I was their age in show, and I'm sorry that they don't age like I do, but unfortunately, for us all, I still have an unhealthy attachment to it. So we're just gonna deal with it. The other side was the question of ships. I bounced back and forth for a long time on if my OC was going to be with Deku or Bakugo. It was hard, cause my initial thought was 'fuck it, both' but I hesitated cause poly ships, especially like that, aren't common or popular in fandoms, or taken seriously like I want this fic to be. Recently in the fandom I've seen how much popular the Bakudeku ship has gotten, and I finally decided to say fuck it, and just go with my original idea. So this fic will not be a love triangle, well- honestly it'll have juicy dramatic parts, but I'm going agaisnt the norm and saying fuck it, they all love eachother. I myself am not poly, (at least I think? Idk I'm unlabeled, the only poly relationships I've ever thought about being a part of are with fictional characters lol) So it won't be perfect and maybe not entirely accurate. If anyone who is poly wants to give me advice I'd be open and appreciative of it. Now that, that's all out of the way...

I'm going to give a summary of my plot, and i want to know if you guys find it interesting.

In a world where humans are given superhuman abilities, the norm, quickly changes. This world is not black and white. Prejudice and discrimination never truly leave humans, if it's not one thing, it's another. And in this world, if you don't have a quirk, or if your quirk is seen as undesirable or... potentially dark in nature, then you are immediately singled out and ostracized.

Our main characters, Iris and Ivy Blackwood, are born into an unfair world, where they are ultimately dealt with a hand that is hard to burden. Being the children of famous pro heroes is one thing, it's another when said pro heroes are constantly in the eye of the public. A scandal happens every week, it seems. You can't go far in research without seeing someone question the pro heroes' motives. Forsythe and Natalia Aphelion-Blackwood are powerful people, with powerful quirks to match. What sets them aside is the nature of their powers, powers that aren't normally seen as heroic. In fact, the whole blood line is filled with ominous powers, shadey actions, and downright morally questionable choices. When these two families married together, the media burst. Obviously, it was a quirk marriage. The only thing was they just couldn't prove it. When the twins were born, everyone waited in baited unease. Just what the hell could these bloodlines produce in power? Surely it couldn't be that bad...

Ivy's quirk manifested shortly after her twin, sprouting fox ears and tail(s) her quirk was Kitsune. Similar to her father's shape-shifting quirk, but of course had stark differences. Iris, on the other hand? Well, let's just say she won't be stepping into churches anytime soon... At the ripe age of 5, Iris Blackwood sprouted, wings, horns, a tail, claws, and red eyes to match. This girl was given powers seemingly from the devil himself. Her quirk? Demon. The nature of her power is unknown, the extent? unknown. No quirk specialist stuck around to figure out just what the hell she could do, but from the brief research done, it's believed the girl is able to do whatever a demon can do... What an odd analysis, considering no one really knows what that can entell.

Iris was forced to keep her abilities under lock and key, with great luck she's able to hide her physical features. The rest of her powers, she doesn't know, and she honestly doesn't want to find out. She's trying to become a hero, what kind of hero has a power like that? The twins' parents put them on a path, one that was built and prepped long before they were even born, what a burden to put on children. Iris wants to defy all odds, to show the world that she's not her quirk. It doesn't matter if no one believes in her, not even her own parents. She has her sister, her twin, someone who's been by her side since birth. Someone who will always have her back, that will never change... right?

This story is one of betrayal, manipulation, all kinds of abuse, moral questioning, and even questioning of one's sanity... but it's also a story of friendship, trust, found family, love, and the indomitable human spirit. This is the very definition that sometimes, your family can end up being the ones you share no blood with.

Okay, so tell me, does that sound interesting? I hope so, cause these characters, this plot, has been on my mind for years nonstop, it's something that needs to be told. And I feel like a lot of people can relate to some of the things in this fic. I'm currently rewriting the first 6 or so chapters, cause once I picked up the story again long ago, I just kept writing from where I left off, so the first chapters aren't adjusted to the new direction the fanfiction is now going. It's going to be Canon compliant but not perfectly, it will have its own arcs and storyline, and of course, depending on how the show finishes, I'll have to adjust. But overall, I love the plot of MHA, so I don't want to change too much. I appreciate anyone who supports me with this. Thank you guys a lot. Stay tuned.

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cheri-explains-the-joke · 2 months ago

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(This post is mostly for me, as the meme for it has died down from what I've seen, but I needed to write what it was. For myself.)

As of sometime ago, a post I was planning to put context to has decided to not allow reblogs! We can't have that now, can we?

Below is the following post screenshotted, which will be followed by a copy-pasted version of the post as well as my first comments before researching on my main:

"extremely funny when people on here are like "you wouldn't understand the sex im having im into some nasty freak shit" and halfway through the post it becomes apparent that theyre just referring to having invented a special glue that lets them walk up and down anything"

"#clearing out drafts and. this one. this is old enough i dont get the bit anymore lol"

If you would prefer the original post, it can be found by clicking on this sentence here, as of course I have to leave a link attached!

Regardless, the joke here I originally believed and heard it to be something of a copy-pasta, just a phrase that would randomly be put into long paragraphs of text as to make them insignificant and everything. However, upon research now, it's actually based on some character analysis post from this site! Image is shown below, including a link and transcribed attached to it.

...Looking at the original, my first expectation was indeed correct. The post is a satire way of looking at characters, a nonsense metaphor which can vaguely apply for some to certain characters. This idea of nonsense spread away from just characters and the phrase itself now seems to be aligned with the idea of nonsensical messages put into a block of text that may seem sensible.

That's all I think is needed for this meme and for myself, thank you all!

#cheri explains the joke

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nonesensegibberish · 8 months ago

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11-20-24

I've been told I really need to get a real job. It was much more gentle than that, of course. Much more regretful. Like it was some kind of failing on her to put this on me. It killed me to see that look in her eyes. As if she worried I wouldn't love her. In retrospect- maybe fearful that I'd kill myself if I was pushed anywhere outside of my bubble. I'm trying to work through it. I'm applying to places- despite how it gives me intense existential dread each time. Its probably about time. Time to see if I really have been able to grow at all, in the end. I've also been spurred on to push harder in other ways. Been doing VA work every day, in some form or another. Been focusing hard on being helpful. Its hurting, mind. Im struggling. I feel so tired. Thats the long and short of it, I guess. Another excerpt from today's diary entry. It was basically in 'nonsense gibberish' mode when I was writing it- that kind of rabbit hole spiral zone that drives me to post here. So it makes sense to put it in it's proper containment zone, too. "Busy busy busy. It isnt REALLY all that much, I assure myself-..." "I want more sleep. I guess I'm not all that physically tired, mind. Its kind of amazing how little I take naps in the middle of the day now, actually. I cant remember the last time I did, even. I do want more sleep, though. I tried to get an extra hour or two today, but not dice. Body wouldn't do it. Shrug. Emotionally tired? For sure. I dunno. It is what it is. I want to veg out and disassociate and just exist in nothing for a bit... I can feel myself crystalizing. Metalasizing. I cant tell if its from my core outwards, or the other way around. I feel like those folks with that disease- where they injure a muscle and it turns to bone. Slowly consuming them fully until their body gives out. The more I crack under stress, the more is consumed and hardened. Deadened. Is this a metaphor for growing up, maybe? Or one of losing your soul. Is the end result of this metamorphosis a re-entry to productive society (perhaps nix the 're-' prefix entirely, in my case), or is it a flickering out of the last flame that held the warmth of my persona. 'Here lies Jackie- regretful casualty to capitalism. May the thing that walks in her place be productive until the day it finally gives out. Rejoice, for she finally became a better person.'"

Goodnight. I'll see you next time, stranger.

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blackvahana · 9 months ago

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Finally figured out (part of) why Lev wanted to get me to play No Man's Sky and Reka (Baba Yaga apprentice game. It's a cute and funky indie game) despite the fact that I don't buy or play games lmfao

I was playing Reka... Weirdly had the thought "this feels like it's a new home". Odd because. I was not feeling at home in the game. Anyway. Yeah. Moving fucking house

There was an issue I was running up against irt the construction of ANVD where it exists outside of linear time. I tried for a few days there if piercing the veil of time so to speak which... the major issue was just I have not been taking care of myself lmfao and ignoring my own needs for ages now and my self pushes back against that, but.. I know theres a version of my house in a "future" (ANVD time) place... I couldn't get through the. what im just going to call the white veil. more so its the colour i associate with Grey, a really light, spring rain cloud grey, grey matter of the brain, but anyway. The time thing... I kept coming across the branching tree (metaphorical) holding periods of time like clumps of dirt between roots, and navigating it, or rather being put in front of it was a little... uh. it made existing pointless. i had no ties to any one time, I felt like entering one or the other(s) would just be an arbitrary choice to denounce most times in favour of one time and. yeah. no. I have shit to do wrt looking after myself, so Im stepping back from looking at the tree

I feel like ANVD where I live now is sort of. in-between the cracks of lived-in ANVD, which isn't a thing yet... I sort of live in this Void-mirroring - not Void-like - or more so Perceptual between-the-cracks.... I dont know how to put it in English. i live in a specific version of ANVD thats very much a thing, but its hollow and sterile as I have designed. I live I guess in a "part" of it that is within the snail shell, it is the snail. Point being that i attempt to keep myself away from whats coming, and like to keep it that way, hence why the Sky between the waters has in itself something that separates sky from sky and thats where i live. or. not? I dont get it, admittedly. I get it, but I've been chasing my own thoughts about this for months now lmfao

anyway. There was this sort of inference that the house should exist outside of time, or. look. I'll get to the point: A moving house is exactly what the fuck I've needed for so long now. It solves the problem of roaming, of moving through times, of being detached from the world, and so. In my mind it works like this: There's the house proper and the house that roams the world, sort of like the outside of the house exists in movement (probably a room of the house proper since the house is, as ive seen through time, becoming a fucking huge but neat fortress), pulled by mechanical animals. The house proper exists in this timeless spaceless sort of pocket in ANVD - probably existing like that with the windows leading out into ANVD. Im not entirely sure on it, because some part of me thinks i need to course-correct future me's decision to isolate the house from reality itself - but also. i dont. the black sea of RTG exists in ANVD and the house is within/across it which was planned, thanks very much past me, ugh. Ill figure it out.

Either way, it also solves the problem arising from Black and Red being absolutely nomadic by nature, and. i. look. my heart longs for nomadic life in a way i cannot describe. its Bliss, Ananda, it's blooming, it's my purpose, it's (etc emotions that are condensed to a mockery of their actual depths by putting them into words), so Im guessing this is just how it needs to be

also yes, howl Moving Castle is a mood

#~abyssal murmurs #its funny af i kinned howl back when i was into fictionkin stuff years ago im just making it a reality. except better #god im so glad im away from that now i missed having an identity that wasnt a mirror of someone else's person preset #astral diary //

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rainswept · 1 year ago

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ngl i had to take a fat nap after that response ☹️

i have genuinely never felt so overwhelmed with emotion before, now we're in the same boat because i don't even know what to say to tell you exactly how much i enjoyed reading all of it. i got that whole eyes burning going on n shit and im having a very fun awesome time trying to put a name to whatever the feeling in my chest is (not), but love sounds like a nice way to put it so we'll go with that! i love you too, and appreciate the time you took to write everything out more than any sentence can convey the full meaning of

you're right about me not expecting my ask to mean so much, i wrote it because i knew most authors (and creators as a whole) like hearing how their viewers discover their work. you said you were curious in the notes of the url post, i thought i might as well send in my story to satisfy.

it would be a big step for me, but also a chance to say something nice to someone who inspired me and then move on after a “thank you” or vague acknowledgement to… prove to myself interacting isnt as bad as i thought it'd be?? something like that. i’m not sure what i wanted you to say, or how i wanted to feel about it

bbuut as per usual, you managed to surprise me no matter what i was looking for ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ ) and it wasn't all over the place or hard to understand at all. my turn to be dramatic:

“what is the point of feeling if, as soon as you pry your eyes away from the page, the emotion fades with the ink?” is definitely a question i connect with. impressionable teenager check ‼️

i said i want to love like you because the way you dedicate yourself so completely is something i’ve never been able to do. i wasn't into picking apart characters before because i thought it was obsessive.

they aren't real right? who cares? which leads me to the metaphor i used for your writing: wholly consuming. imagine not being able to delve into those depths. of course it feels uncomfortable to be pulled under the waves at first— you aren't going to be able to breathe— but the underwater life has so much to offer. i know it now, because i’ve seen that unknowable infinity in your work and in your passion. and there's so much more to sea (ba dum tiss). thank you so much for showing me that

love changes a lot of people. it is sacrifice, and you often have to make compromises. so why not let myself be devoured by that endlessness? i would rather suffer, be swallowed by the ocean and have all of my soft edges filed into jagged pieces by the currents than to have never known that pain at all. because it changed me. i want to remember that.

i want to remember your words, and the part you played even if i am left with only hurt, because love is also giving. it's greed knows no bounds. it's scary, the only thing i had to offer was myself and my experience. but it's getting easier. i’m happy to be seen as a member of your audience, and will applaud every success long after our interests no longer align because that is my compromise for you ♥(ˆ⌣ˆ)

hope all that makes sense. i like the umbrella tag! i’m being perceived and i haven't exploded (yet) (destruction is imminent) ☂️

ANON i am so sorry for the late response i had to process this. i’m having such a hard time posting these bc i just want to keep them treasured in my inbox forever ugh

long post again

ANYWAY. you’re so poetic this is insane. hello???//?/? when i first saw this there were tears in my eyes literally. i cannot. the first paragraph. actually all of them. i . died?? goodbye?? this is the end of me as i know it. i will never be the same. these r the most impactful words anyone has ever said to me i think. i have no words. genuinely no words i’m going to melt into thr floor. plea. please. spare me anon. spare me. i’m in agony right now ur writing is so beautiful. ANONNNNN😭😭😭😭😭😭 god i will never recover. i am in tears

“i said i want to love like you because the way you dedicate yourself so completely is something i’ve never been able to do. i wasn't into picking apart characters before because i thought it was obsessive. they aren't real right? who cares?”

i get that, in a way. but as you said — “which leads me to the metaphor i used for your writing: wholly consuming.” — that’s how it feels to me, too, and it always has. i get the idea of thinking something isn’t important because it’s not real, but i’ve always latched onto them regardless. so i had to write, honestly. to get it out. because otherwise it would consume me instead. it sounds very dramatic, i’m aware, but it’s true — i have so many feelings surrounding these fictional pixels and stories and they have so much to offer and they take up too much space in my brain and if i do not talk about it i will Explode ™️. Or Implode ™️. so i write! because i want to. because i have to. because otherwise it will Swallow Me Whole. and i’d rather embrace it! i’ve always been an ‘obsessive’ person when it comes to interests — it’s all or nothing for me. so it’s one or the other — i can drown or i can swim, but i can’t really get out of the water of my own volition,,, and i’d rather not drown. so i’m both glad i inadvertently introduced you to that way of seeing things, and regret it, because it does hurt sometimes. but it’s worth it to me, and it seems like it is to you too, so that’s good!

ONCE AGAIN i could copy and paste this entire ask and comment on it but i fear it’ll just be me repeating your sentences and gawking at them and it would get way too long. 😭😭😭😭 so i’ll just let your ask speak for itself

“i’m being perceived and i haven't exploded (yet) (destruction is imminent) ☂️” also we can explode together actually. i’m glad u allowed urself to be perceived because. oh my god. 😭😭😭😭 this ask changed the trajectory of my life forever. half joke. destruction is not imminent you’ve got this

also, you’re definitely more than just a member of my audience now, in my opinion. if you do decide to stick around (and i hope you do), i hope we can become friends eventually too! even if you decide not to, these interactions have meant more to me than you know! so thank you, either way

#☂️#—crow’s nest.#i love this ask. so mucj #i would totally comment on every paragraph you sent because they’re all. so touching and beautiful and #AUGH #i’m all over the place i’m so sorry 💀💀#so much more to sea….#and they’re a comedian #best anon ever actually. ur so cool i’m so glad to have u here #i win in life

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rawbins-undertale-blog · 4 years ago

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hey there again!!!

might i slide in this fine ask box with another HC request?

if yes, then could you please write some HCs where uf and ht sanses and papyruses (seperate of course) s/o gets put in a hospital for a lil bit? you can decide what happened to s/o. maybe a bad heatstroke cuz its summer or something (totally not because its a bad heatwave where im living rn haha nope). idk, i just crave angst or hurt/comfort again from my fave skeletons.

if you're not up for this, its totally fine!!

thank you, have a chill day/night B)

- 🌌 anon whos sunburns arent stinging that much anymore B)

*Evil cackling* OH-HO-HO, yOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MONSTER YOU HAVE UNLEASHED…… I am an evil being who feeds off of angst and pain, and you’ve given me ample opportunity to make some of that sweet sweet angst >:-)))))))))

I tried to keep it ambiguous as to what you’re in for, mostly because I want you to be able to imagine heatstroke and me to be able to think “hahahah stab stab”! ^^

Also!!! The healthcare system in some other countries is fucking insane (like??? You guys have to pay to not die??????) so I’ll be going off of what I know about the healthcare system in Sweden where it’s free. (At least I’m 99% sure it’s free, except for like. Small things. For example, my antidepressants. I had to buy those myself when I was still on them.)

UF + HT BROS WHEN S/O IS IN THE HOSPITAL

Red (Underfell Sans):

He’s panicking so so bad, he’s terrified. What if you die?

Curses out anybody who tries to keep him from you, including the poor nurse who’s just doing their job

Actually he just. curses in general. He’s just spewing cuss words to seem angry instead of scared because That’s Definitely Better

Most likely out of all four to physically lash out at… well, anybody (except you obviously) lol

Red hates hospitals too, to make matters worse. He doesn’t know why, but they make him feel uncomfortable.

If somebody did this to you purposely and he’s not allowed by your side, he’s going out to find the person and kick their ass during that time lol

If nobody did this to you, he’s pacing and cursing and jfc Red, you do realise there are other people here right enjdjdjdjsjsk

This fucker tries to pull a “pfff nah i was never worried” but like. Red. Darling. Light of my life. Stars in my sky. Center of my universe. Bitch of my heart. Everyone can see right through your “anger” and literally your shaking voice is so not convincing. Get a better poker face and voice.

With some prodding, admits that finehewasscaredyou’ddieandhethoughthisheartstoppedforasecondwhichisweird’causehedoes’tevenhaveaheartanywaysthat’sovernowsowhocares

(He’s not great at expressing himself but it’s still progress)

WILL be staying right by you as you recover. You’ve no choice. (You do actually, he respects you and will back off if you tell him to)

Edge (Underfell Papyrus):

Oh no. Oh no.

Edge is trying his very best not to show any emotions but he’s not good at it because like. It doesn’t take a genius to see that him screeching angrily at people and demanding for the doctors to fix this is actually him poorly masking his fear. Edge doesn’t have the best poker face lol

He’s so pissed if he can’t stay right next to you the whole time. You’re his S/O!! What kind of bullshit is this?!

If you do need to be left alone with doctors and such things, Edge will do one or two things depending on why you're in the hospital, how bad what you’re in for is and for how long he can’t see you.

If you’re here for something like heatstroke - AKA something not brought on by somebody else - he’ll call friends and such while pacing and somewhat frantically share your current condition.

However, if anybody did this to you; and you’re in bad shape… Well, even fucking Satan will cower at the brutality of Edge’s revenge.

When he’s allowed to be, he’s by your side and - depending on why you’re in and for what - he might nag you for being careless, reassure you it wasn’t your fault, reassure you in general, and/or just stay silent.

It’s barely noticeable, but just noticeable enough, that you can tell that he’s shaking.

All it takes is a “are you okay?” For him to break and confess how scared he was.

For a moment he was back Underground and it was horrible and he felt so powerless and he hates that. He’s so, so happy you’re okay and he- he swears he’ll be with you on your way to recovery. Please just never get hurt again.

Dusk (Horrortale Sans):

If you thought Red and Edge were scared, just know it’s nothing compared to the absolute terror he feels.

Dusk knows how fragile the human body can be. He’s seen horrific things happen to humans and monsters alike and he’s always hyper-aware of just how easy it’d be to kill and/or hurt you.

Logically, he knows you won’t die, he knows human anatomy well enough to know this is something you’ll bounce back from, but his instincts are going haywire and all he can think of are the mangled corpses back Underground. It doesn’t matter whether your condition has anything to do with broken limbs or not, because those pictures are what his mind is forcing onto him.

He refuses to leave your side. If he’s forced away from you by nurses/doctors/staff, he’ll protest but if he really can’t be by you for your safety, he’ll be anxiously hovering as close by as he possibly can. Whenever he’s allowed to touch you, he’s practically glued onto you.

If he’s sure it’s just the two of you, and you’re unconscious, he’ll probably cry.

He… He hates being reminded of your mortality. He hates the idea that any day could be your last. He doesn’t know what he’d do if you were gone.

(He’d dust, probably.)

If somebody else got your purposely hurt, he’s going to hunt them down after a while (after you’ve recovered enough for him to be comfortable leaving you alone for a bit). He’s not going to kill them, but he might rough them up a bit -- but most likely, he’ll just intimidate them and/or threaten them. (It’d be a different story if you were murdered.)

Whenever you’re conscious, he’ll do pretty much anything you say, so long as it won’t get you anymore hurt or risk stunting your recovery.

When you’re released from the hospital, he’ll be by your side nearly 24/7 because he hates the idea of you getting hurt again just because he wasn’t there to protect you.

Aster (Horrortale Papyrus):

Tries to look calm and composed, but he does about as poor of a job as his brother. He does better in that he doesn’t act out or get in the way of the nurses, but he’s also crying and shaking and sobbing and can’t stop.

You getting injured triggers him pretty badly. If you’re not bleeding, it’ll probably be “only” a bad anxiety attack, but if there’s any blood involved it’s escalating into a full-blown panic attack.

He’s a nurse himself, but I doubt he’d be allowed to work with the other nurses when it comes to you because of how unsteady he is. He’s not sure whether he’s thankful for it or not, because he doesn’t trust himself to do a good job but he also wants to be there for you. He trusts his colleagues, but it’s still nerve-wracking.

Just like the others, he’s glued to your side when he’s allowed to be. Very metaphorically. He’s the best of them all at giving you space, partially because he’s just more respectful lol and partially because he’s a nurse so he knows not to smother you with physical affection until you’re in the clear.

If somebody caused you to go into this state, he will just like Dusk go and find them. He won’t do anything physical, but he does intimidate the person very effectively. He’s a terrifying giant and he knows how to use that to his advantage.

When you’re fine again, he’ll be acting anxious and protective for a while. He feels really guilty about it (because he should be comforting you - plus, he’s a nurse! He’s seen way worse things on his job) but you’ll have to give him comfort. This whole thing didn’t inspire much positive feelings in him and it stressed him out a lot, it may honestly take more of a toll on him than it does you.

#imagines tag #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons #undertale au #horrortale sans #y/n x sans #reader x sans #sans #sans x y/n #sans x reader #uf papyrus #y/n x papyrus #papyrus x y/n #reader x papyrus #papyrus #papyrus x reader #underfell #horrortale #🌌 anon

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linaselandbasil · 3 years ago

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Genetic analysis and man of science mumbo jumbo about Lance and Valkyon

Yes, this is still part 2.

Here are the previous installments and the rant about Huang Hua.

Let's talk about those pretty eyes of theirs!

👁👄👁

(For your information, there is already something called amber eyes in humans and it's not like Valkyons. It's more of a warm brown. When I'm referring to amber eyes I don't mean that, but I also kind of do. The same pigment can be used to make both eye colors.)

(Also, when I say dominant, I mean it very loosely because every trait you can think of is codominant and it's never that simple)

(Also also have a look at thissss.)

So, I've said before that I think that amber eyes are dominant over blue eyes because if Tia is a homozygote with recessive phenotype and has a son with a recessive phenotype with a father who has a dominant phenotype, that means the father is heterozygote. So he had a recessive blue eye allele and a dominant amber eye allele. (Furthermore, humans can actually have amber colored eyes.)

My parents both have blue eyes and they had me with green eyes. Green eyes can be passed on, but more often they're the result of genetic mutation, like in my case. Green eyes occur when someone has recessive blue eyes but a kind of melanin gets made in small quantities that is amber colored. The blue of the iris and amber pigment at the back of the eye mix together to make green, and that is why I'm so frikin full of myself! I love green it's my favorite color!

However, Valkyons eyes are not green, so he can't have the recessive blue eye trait. He would need to have grey eyes without the melanin. I don't know what exactly the difference between grey and blue eyes is but I googled it and here is the results:

Moreover, amber and blue are literally opposites of each other, which i assume is a metaphor for the brothers being polar opposites. Ugh, if Lance was crazy this whole time I'm pretty sure his only living family would have noticed. Unless this drastic personality change is due to trauma he's experienced after 'dieing' anyway, I assume that this might mean that it's impossible or just highly unlikely that Lance could have blue eyes. Since they both have the same combination of their fathers only recessive grey eye gene and either one of their mothers blue eye gene. Unless, of course blue eyes are dominant over grey eyes, but they're literally the same exact melanin deficiency so it's like putting two turtles in a cage and waiting for them to fight. It's not gonna happen, they're going to chill.

Anyways, I think Lance would look beautiful with grey eyes, but I probably think that because I simply dislike the color blue.

-Lance with grey eyes-

So, if Tia is carrying two recessive blue eye alleles and Khanir is carrying a recessive grey eye allele and a dominant amber eye allele then their kids would have basically no chance at having amber eyes. Most likely 3 out of 4 kids would have grayish blue eyes and 1 out of 4 would have most likely green, perhaps amber eyes.

If blue IS dominant over grey then Tia could have one grey eye allele too and their kids would have an equal chance of having blue, green, amber or grey eyes.

This option allows us to both keep Lance and Valkyon the same, so I'll choose this. But you did see how hard I had to bend my back to come to this conclusion, didn't you?

Okay, that's about eyes. Let's talk about Khanir.

Many of you may know that I'm not only a man of regular science, but also of *speculatory* science. This post should give a good example.

Anyway, what I would like to talk about today is Khanirs genome. (Im not a eugenecist we're talking about literal dragons aight?) He is obviously adapted to enduring cold environments with little sunlight. He's generally big and he has pale skin. Truly a northern man.

I would like to propose that his amber eyes are simmilar to that of Caribou deer. Caribou deer are adapted to survive long, dark arctic winters and slightly less cold summers. When there's sunlight, their eyes appear amber colored, when it's dark for a long time, their eyes turn blue. That's because their eyes change to allow more light to enter and I'm not going to pretend like I completely understand this, this is some insane science shit and I just love nature and animals aaaaaa. Anyway, that would mean that if you put Valkyon in a dark room for a few days, his eyes would adapt and turn blue as well. Nature is awesome.

The silver hair is something I've been thinking about for a lot longer because I've known about the anamoly that's the colour grey for as long as I've used paint. Grey is not a colour, it's all the colors at the same time.

Let me drop my first tidbit of information: Polar bear fur.

Trust me, polar bears are not white. They just pretend to be so the police won't shoot them. (White pigmentation cannot exist, for the record, white is the absence of color)

So I theorize that Khanir is not of a race that needs to be as pale as possible to allow for vitamin D synthesis, but he's suffering from partial albinism that causes melanin production in his skin to get yeeted out of existence (this is a mutation that creates decreased function, so it's recessive). In the arctic, it might be really cold, but the sun is still radioactive and the snow only makes it worse. He needs to have melanin in his skin to avoid sunburn.

That would mean that if Tia is also carrying this genetic defect, 25% of their offspring would be affected by it. If Tia isn't carrying it, then none of their offspring would be affected.

Grey? Grey.

Okay I don't know how to lead into this paragraph, but let's talk about the genetics of this.

Light hair is a recessive trait because it causes decreased function. Grey hair is also a decreased function because the melanin production is blocked. If the grey hair gene isn't influencing the melanin itself by decreasing it, but increasing something else that decreases melanin in the hair, then technically it could be a dominant allele and that gives their offspring a 50-100% chance of having silver hair! *high five*

This way if Tia gives them genes that increase melanin production, that would only influence their skin and eyes, since the melanin in their hair is blocked by some other thing.

(Fuck I'm playing into beemoovs hands at this point. GIVE ME WELL DESIGNED BLACK CHARACTERS OR I SWEAR I'LL DISPROVE ALL MY STATEMENTS AND YOU'LL BE BACK IN NECK DEEP SHIT!!)

So, now that we've conducted so much speculatory research, let's summarize:

Khanir is suffering from partial albinism and his offspring might be carriers

Fire dragons are supposed to be tan

A dragon without melanin is grey because of refraction.

Green eye supremacy

Silver hair COULD be a dominant trait

Valkyons eyes could turn blue but Lance's eyes will never be amber.

The brothers should probably be darker skinned, if my first point is true and in general because they're so whitewashed I didn't even know they weren't supposed to be white.

Also look at these pictures of polar bears I found:

I know I'm weird for liking gore but like.... The drama! It's so dramatic! How am I supposed to be gay and chill out at the same time?

@aide-falls @lumen-anima 😘

#valkyon #eldarya #eldarya lance #genetics #unhinged #i an a man of science #feathered dragons #dragon biology #genetic analysis

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useyernamesteven · 4 years ago

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(Needed some goofy fluff to distract myself from the angst im writing so buckle up, its long. Based on that one post I cannot find so if anyone can help a homie out, much appreciated)

Raya/Namaari Accidental Marriage Proposal

Its not a far stretch to assume that the different tribes have different practices and rituals. And given the 500 year gap in communication its also easy enough to assume that the tribes don't know about each others differing customs.

For example: marriage proposals. In Tail its as cut-and-dry as asking. Talon people propose with rings and jade coin. When you propose in Spine you chop down a tree to show your commitment and strength.

The Fang propose with blades. Fang people love their knives, daggers, spears, and other pointy weapons, so if you want to ask someone to marry you, you do it with a blade.

I like to imagine it'd be because offering a blade to someone- who isn't family -is the equivalent of trusting your life to that person. I like to think the Fang value not only a person's strength and honour, but their ability to care and protect their people. So giving a blade to your chosen love is like saying, "I'm giving you this weapon because I trust you with my heart, literally and metaphorically".

But again, 500 year old divide means others have no clue what giving a knife to someone from Fang entails...

So maybe its been a few months or so after the Druun have been vanquished. Raya is still re-learning how to be a 'princess' while playing liaison between the tribes, with Sisu as her partner in crime. She likes it because she still gets to travel and she gets to see her new friends from the other tribes: Boun's business is booming, Noi has started talking, and Tong has become the new Chief of Spine.

Then there's Namaari.

Six years of playing cat-and-mouse together (or rather angry kitten and homeless puppy) can be hard to overcome. At first it was a struggle. And incredibly awkward. Namaari, too guilt ridden over what she'd done, and Raya, still angry and socially stunted, could barely hold a conversation together.

Eventually Raya, fed up with the weird awkward talk, dragged Namaari to Fang's training grounds and challenged her to a sparring match. And only when it was over, the both of them exhausted and laying on the ground, did they start talking, actually talking. About what happened with the gem, with Sisu, what they can't let go of, not yet, but what they hope they can move past one day.

It made things after easier because it was familiar ground for them, but it also opened up new paths too. Now in the months since they saved the world and having spent that time working together, Raya would like to consider Namaari a close friend.

Which is probably why she's so surprised when Namaari off-handedly mentions her birthday is next week. Namaari, who's less than thrilled about her mother's plans for a big celebration, doesn't even notice how much Raya's caught off guard. Namaari doesn't really care for her birthday, much less when her mother makes a big deal about it, but she still brushes her hair behind her ear when she asks Raya if she's going to attend.

Raya recovers, nudging Namaari saying that she's obviously going, and boasting about the amazing gift she's going to bring.

Which then leads to her dragging Sisu to Talon in search of the perfect gift (Sisu being the only 'person' she knows who can help being that she's a master gift giver... Sisu's words, not Raya's, but still). They run around Talon for ages, with Sisu practically buying everything in sight (with the Heart Palace Credit of course) but Raya can't find a single thing she thinks Namaari would actually like.

And then she spots a Fang vendor selling blades.

The woman is nice and she asks Raya if she's looking for something in particular. Raya says she wants to get a dagger for 'someone special' from Fang (not wanting to rack up the price if the woman knew who it was for, but also completely unaware to what she's just implied).

The vendor seems a little surprised but she easily walks Raya through picking out the perfect dagger for her 'someone special'. Raya ends up buying a pretty, yet functional dagger with a dragon engraved in the blade and an ornate box to keep it in. As Raya's leaving the woman gives her a pat on the shoulder and says, "All the best for the both of you and I'm sure she'll say yes," which Raya can't really make sense of so she shrugs and leaves to go find Sisu and her mountain of trinkets.

So now its the party, and when Namaari said Virana was making a big deal about it, she really meant it. People from all the tribes are attending and Sisu's brought her brothers and sisters and there's music and food and fireworks...

And Namaari stands beside her mother in a beautiful dress that makes Raya's heart thud erratically (it's totally platonic). Her and her Ba walk up to them and start making small talk before her Ba and Virana break off to chat with other dignitaries, leaving Raya and Namaari together.

Raya likes how Namaari relaxes around her when its just them, despite the room full of people. They talk and banter and tease and laugh, but more than anything Raya just likes being with Namaari. And when Namaari mentions how much she hates formal wear, how dresses don't suit her, Raya makes it a game to see how many times she can mention how beautiful Namaari looks while they're talking, just because it makes Namaari flush and do the hair thing she does when she's shy. No other heart-related reason.

Its not until much later when Raya suddenly remembers the gift she brought and she runs off to fetch it. When she returns she hands Namaari the sleek box with a smile and a sheepish "Happy Birthday dep'la".

And Namaari's blushing and smiling as she takes the box, telling Raya she didn't have to as she opens the box-

And immediately slams it shut. Her face turns bright red and she whorls on Raya with wide eyes and a panicked, hissed "whatareyoudoing?!" And poor Raya's totally thrown, so sure she'd picked out the perfect gift. "You don't like it?" But Namaari shoves the box back into her hands, with another frenzied whisper "thatsnotit!"

Well now Raya's a little miffed because "You didn't even look at it" and before Namaari can stop her she's pulling the dagger from the box and offering it back to Namaari.

Meanwhile the room goes incredibly quiet as everyone from Fang suddenly notices what's happening between the princesses. Virana nearly spits out her drink. Everyone else carries on like normal, but a few people watch their new Fang friends with curious looks, completely out of the loop.

So now Raya's essentially down on one knee without realizing it, Namaari's about to have a heart attack, everyone from Fang is on the edge of their seat, and the dragons are having a rousing drinking contest with people from Spine.

So the party is going great.

Raya (oblivious to the world save for Namaari) is giving Namaari her strongest puppy dog eyes because she'd spent so long looking for the perfect gift dep'la, and "You're pretty special Namaari, special to me, and you deserve it."

Namaari, as red faced as she is, softens at Raya's admission, smiling a little to herself before she takes the dagger from Raya with a soft "it's lovely dep'la".

And suddenly the room's loud again as people from Fang start clapping and whistling. Everyone else is lost but soon they join in as well, despite having no clue as to what they're cheering for. Namaari's back to being flustered and she grabs Raya's hand and hauls her toward Virana and Benja. Raya, finally taking in the room around them, is confused as to why people are congratulating her and Namaari.

Virana has recovered by the time the two approach and if no one knew better it might've also appeared she was trying hard not to smile. Namaari hisses something to her mother Raya doesn't hear, and she shoots her Ba a questioning look. Benja looks a little pensive but he's got a quirk in his lips that Raya knows means mischief.

Virana gently pats her daughter's shoulder before turning to address the room, excusing the four of them. They turn to leave but not before Virana calls out to the crowd, "And it goes without saying you're all invited to the wedding as well," and then ushers her horrified daughter, her baffled betrothed, and Benja out the door.

Instantly Namaari's in hysterics, asking her mother why she'd say that when Raya obviously didn't know what she was doing. Virana, quite obviously playing ignorance, asks why Namaari accepted the blade if she knew what she was doing. And poor Namaari can only gape, red faced and no come back.

Raya has finally caught on to what she's done and yeah, okay now it all makes sense. The vendor, Namaari's (gay) panic, the congratulations... she just proposed to Namaari. She just proposed to Namaari. In front of most of Kumandra. Oh toi!

Benja, still smirking to himself, ruffles Raya's hair before turning to Namaari and Virana and saying, "To be fair... Namaari did propose first."

Marriage proposals in Heart are an exchange of necklaces. So when Namaari had given Raya the Sisu pendant back when they were kids, they'd essentially gotten engaged and since Raya kept it, they've technically been engaged for the past six years.

(Too) Long story short, Raya and Namaari get engaged, get married, fall in love, and live sapphically ever after.

End.

(Okay, I'm done. Back to angst.)

#raya and the last dragon #ratld #rayaari #rayamaari #raya and namaari #oof i lost steam halfway through this #sorry its so terrible #i just didnt really feel like actually writing it out

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waatermelon-sugaar · 4 years ago

Text

Take Care of Me

Pairing = Santiago x reader

Words = 5.5k

Summary = A discussion about sex toys turns into something more … concrete

Warnings = Swearing, talk/description of mild anxiety. SMUT (18+ only), use of handcuffs in a sexy way, oral, piv sex

A/N = Prompt no.8 requested by @itspdameronthings as part of my 300 follower celebration, thanks so much, hope you like it! Prompt was “Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself” w/santi and bolded in text. Also 3 things; 1 = Tom doesn’t exist in this AU, 2 = this is basically pure smut im so sorry, and 3 = I did do head hopping in this, which I know you’re not like supposed to do but also fuck the rules y’know?

Posted to AO3

Masterlist

***

It’s always easy to be loose after one of Benny’s fights.

It’s a heady mix of adrenaline, beer and testosterone, swirling together into a mix that makes you forget your normal boundaries. You’re normally quite brazen about your sex life anyway, but there is a line. You respect your partners, and there’s no need for your teammates to know too much.

You’re all packed into a half-moon booth, Benny straddling a chair that he pulled up to the table after he spent too long chatting up the bartender.

It’s a small comment from Benny (because of course it’s Benny), saying that you haven’t got laid in a while, and you’re honestly surprised he noticed. But then, that’s the only predictable thing about Benny, that he is unpredictable.

Your surprise means you take a little too long actually thinking about it, which confirms Benny’s statement. You lean back a little in your seat, desperately ignoring Santi, who’s sat to your left. It also means you bite back a little harder in defence.

“Well maybe if you guys didn’t look like you’re about to murder anyone who even dares ask for my number maybe I’d have better luck.” That’s a lie, but there’s no way you’re going to tell them the truth. No way you’re going to tell Santi-

Your thoughts are interrupted by Will, sat to your right. “So you’re asking for our help?”

You scoff, hitting him up the head. “No, thank you.” Will knows why. Because of course he does. One of your oldest friends, he’d been the one who convinced you to join the team in the first place. “Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself.”

You send a wink down to the table to Benny, who’s the first to catch on, hollering, and you try not to react to Santi leaning forward, suddenly interested, as though you’re not already hyper-aware of every body movement of his.

You continue, deciding you’re quite enjoying the effect you’ve had. “What do I need some stranger for when I can give myself a better orgasm than he could ever dream of?” You take a sip of your drink to hide your grin, as both Benny and Will holler, gaining a few glares from the pub’s other patrons.

That sip means you’re unprepared for Santi to lean in closer to you, his lips so close to your ear that you can feel his breath. “Maybe ‘stranger’ is where you’re going wrong.”

You swallow, unprepared for the sudden flare of attraction shooting through you and turning your head, just as he says, “I could take care of you.”

You catch a glimpse of Santi’s fuck me eyes when Benny (the dickhead) interrupts. Crossing his arms on the sticky table in front of him, he asks, “Does that mean you have toys?”

Frankie’s hat somehow tips lower on his head, if that’s possible.

Will twitches towards his brother, like he wants to strangle Benny for being so uncouth, but you put your hand on his upper arm. “Of course.” The best course of action is to just act like this is normal, so add a bit of air to your voice. This was normal. “Who doesn’t?”

There’s a blush rising on Benny’s cheeks and you can’t help but stoke it, grinning at him, and attempting your best bedroom eyes. He’s still not too ashamed to ask though. “What kinds?”

Will decides he’s had enough, glancing at Santi behind you with a frown and hitting Benny over the head in an imitation of the way you’d hit him. You laugh, unexpectedly pleased at the reaction you’ve gotten. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Benny nods, eager, even as Will stands, grabbing a hold of him, and steering him towards the bar. “Yes! Yes I would!” He manages to throw back at you and you laugh again, twisting your body to face Santi and Frankie, bringing your left leg onto the bench.

***

Meanwhile Santiago is in hell. He’s been in multiple hellish situations before, most similar to this one, in that it was always the 5 of you, bullets flying around your heads, rifles in your arms, weighed down by heat and sweat and tac vests.

And yet somehow, he thinks this might be the worst. Your foot next to his thigh, your knee bent, pulling your jeans up your leg and exposing your ankle to him. Watching you flirt with Benny, talking about sex, and toys, and masturbation. When that's all he wants to do with you. He just has to get the courage to tell you.

With you, there was a before in Santi’s life, and an after.

Before he knew you; and after he knew you.

Before he loved you; and after he loved you.

Except Santi’s not quite sure when he fell in love with you.

It started when Will introduced you as the newest member of the team, one of his childhood friends. He didn’t mean for it to happen, he treated you like he treated anyone else, quickly discovering that you weren’t like anyone else.

He welcomed you into his life with open arms, starting off innocently - he wanted to spend time with you. You were Will’s friend, which meant that there must be something good about you. You made him laugh, made him feel safe (even when he wasn’t). He’d wanted to do the same for you and thought he did a pretty good job.

He became your friend, until one day the two of you were watching a film. He can’t remember what it was, just that you were at his house, drinking and laughing and talking, huddled in one of his blankets, and looking like you belonged there, forever.

Falling in love with you was so easy, Santi didn’t even realise he was doing it.

Santi’s still impressed with himself that he didn’t just blurt out the words then and there. I love you.

How long had he been in love with you for? He couldn’t pinpoint down a specific moment. He remembered the night when you’d become friends - the last two around the bonfire, toasting marshmallows, making that awkward small-talk that occurs between acquaintances.

You’d made him laugh, playing chubby-bunny and teasing him until he’d had a go. You’d talked and talked, and Santi can’t even remember what about. Nothing, probably. The basics. Boring stuff, but filled with details that he’d used to keep the conversation going the next day.

He knows when he became your friend. Recognised when you trusted him more than the others, with the exception of maybe Will.

But he didn’t know when he fell in love with you. Just the day that the love became so overwhelming in his chest that he realised it.

The real nail in his metaphorical coffin was the night afterwards. The 5 of you had gone to a bar, and a girl had started talking to him as he was buying drinks. She was pretty, but she wasn’t you. And like a flashbulb, all of Santi’s previous partners flew through his mind and he realised that nothing had ever come out of them because they weren’t you.

They didn’t know how he liked his coffee, or why he had joined the military. They didn’t know the story behind his callsign, or what his favourite song was.

You did. What you weren’t there for, you asked about. You remembered. You made him feel important, like he mattered. In ways that he didn’t even really know existed.

You were the one that started him on decaf without telling him. That had been a conversation and a half. Before morning briefings, you’d started bringing him coffees. He hadn’t noticed much of a taste difference, and shamefully, had come to expect them.

Until, a month later, you weren’t there. A small trip home to visit your family, everyone knew you’d be back in a couple of days. Regardless, Santi had ordered what he’d thought was his usual coffee.

And found his anxiety rearing up again. It was subtle, making him more jumpy, less able to sleep, but it was there. He wasn’t sure what the cause was, definitely hadn’t linked it to the coffee, instead assuming that maybe he just missed you. Maybe because his anxiety hadn’t disappeared all the way, even with decaf. Maybe it was because it was your presence that helped him too.

He hadn’t even really noticed when the caffeine was gone, hadn’t noticed the absence of something wrong, only seeing the contrast when it returned. Maybe because it was gradual, the weaning off the caffeinated coffee, whereas the return, with his request of additional shot, had been too sharp for him.

You hadn’t noticed at first, assuming that Santi’s bear hug when he’d first seen you had just been because he missed you. But after lunch you pulled him to one side.

“Are you alright?” Your eyes are slightly wider with worry, and you’re chewing slightly on your bottom lip.

He hates that he’s the one to do that to you, and he tries to brush it off. “I’m fine.” That was his first mistake. His second was trying to push past you.

“Santiago!” He’s pulled up short, and there’s that tension, pulling at his shoulders, his eyebrows. “Tell me what’s wrong.” Your tone of voice hasn’t changed, but this time it’s a command.

Exhausted, hating himself, Santi drags his hands across his face. “Nothing. It’s nothing. I don’t...I don’t know.” He takes a breath, and it shudders through him. “I don’t know.” He sounds defeated, and he hopes you can’t hear it. “I just...I feel…” How does he feel? “Jittery.” Is what he finally settles on, but the word still feels wrong somehow.

You frown, looking him up and down like you’ve never seen him before. In fact, you’re silent for so long, Santi starts to be worried that you’re going to tell him to stop being so fucking ridiculous.

You don’t, but you ask questions.

Has he been sleeping? “Not really.”

Does he have something big coming up? “Just the usual.”

Has his daily routine changed at all? “No, I don’t think so. I get myself a coffee in the morning and the-”

You interrupt him with a hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry.” And now it’s wrong, because now you’re looking at him like it’s your fault, when it definitely isn’t. “Santi I’m sorry. It’s your coffee.”

Santi frowns. His coffee? And you sound so apologetic, and he doesn’t understand why. “I switched you to decaf.” You can’t meet his eyes any more, gaze skittering to his shoulder with nerves. And you’re not shutting up. “I’m sorry, I should have told you, or asked if I could, I just... I knew you were getting nightmares, and decaf helped me so I thought it might help y-”

Santi cuts you off with a hug.

And now, the three of you sat in the booth, he hates himself for agreeing with Benny. He would like to know. He has a sneaking suspicion, odd little comments you’ve made throughout the years that when pieced together, paint a picture. A very vivid picture that he sometimes uses to torture himself, late at night in bed, imagining what you’d look like with your hands between your legs and wrapping a hand around his-

Santi shakes his head. Now is not the time. There’s never really a good time to fantasise about one of your best friends, but in public when they’re sitting next to you, is definitely one of the worst.

And why did he have to offer to take care of you? Did he think he was in some kind of cheesy porno? What if you hated him-

In the end, it’s you who breaks him out of his thoughts. “Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed Pope.” You push out with your foot, lightly kicking his thigh, unable to read his stony face.

Throughout all of this, Frankie has kept quiet, and now the conversation seems like it’ll be returning to safer ground, he rubs a hand over his face, lifting his hat slightly. “No.” Santi protests, although he says it too fast for it to be sincere. “I’m not embarrassed.”

“Good,” you reply, and Santi can see the moment a thought pops into your head that you can’t resist, he can see it in the way your eyes light up with mischief. “Out of all the boys, I figured you’d be the most likely to use toys.”

Frankie quickly slides out from his seat, muttering something about going to the toilet, his cheeks aflame, as Santi chokes a little on his beer. “Or maybe Will,” you muse, and Santi coughs again. “Shit, are you alright?” You ask, rocking forward to lean on your knee so you can rub Santi’s back for a second.

He concentrates on getting himself back under control, on not focusing how warm your hand is against his back. He takes deep breaths in an attempt to calm his heart down, praying that the room is dark enough that you won’t see him blush.

Santi nods, his eyes watering a little, and you laugh, but it’s not unkind, not even when one of your thumbs wipes at his lower lash line, brushing away his tears with the pad. It’s so unexpectedly soft, another sharp contrast to this sticky, seedy bar they’re all in, where the booth seats are cracked and the most complicated drink they make is a rum and coke.

“Good,” you say, voice quiet, scooting back on the bench, your foot closer to his thigh this time, and Santi hates himself for wanting to follow you.

Instead, he pretends everyone else is still here, even as he watches Will whisper something into Benny’s ear as they stand, drinking next to the bar, with no clear intention of returning. Suddenly Benny punches Will’s upper arm, and Santi’s eyebrows twitch slightly in confusion. Benny looks ecstatic, and for what?

“I’ve used handcuffs,” he says casually, half of his mind taken up with Benny and Will acting like lunatics at the bar behind you. He’s wrenched back to you when you raise an eyebrow, and he’s reminded what it feels like to be the centre of your world.

Fuck, you’re sexy though.

***

Your heart beat speeds up, suddenly sounding loud in your chest. Your mind is screaming Danger! at you - but how can it be? This is Santiago. You would trust him with your life. You have.

I could take care of you, flashes through your mind again. Maybe-

“Yeah?” You ask, trying to act calm when there’s a steady thrumming under your skin. “And are you the tied up person, or do you do the tying?”

Santi scoffs, like he thinks the answer is obvious. Maybe it is.

“I do the tying.”

You smirk, dragging an exaggerated eye up and down his body. “Sure about that?”

He looks relaxed, like he can take up more space now Frankie has gone. One of his hands is on your calf, gently trailing up and down, slowly setting you on fire, and you don’t even think he realises he’s doing it. There’s something in his eyes that you don’t recognise, darker, although it seems familiar. That’s been happening more and more lately, especially when it’s just the two of you. You like it.

“You want to test me babygirl?”

You feel breathless. “Maybe I’d like to try.”

You’ve never spoken with Santi like this before. You flirt with him more than the other boys, but this is new. This feels...real, somehow. More dangerous. And he’s closer now, shifting, so your foot is over his lap, his hand wrapped around your ankle, on your bare skin and you’ve forgotten how to breathe. You watch his hand move on your leg and you feel like you could evaporate.

“That’s not what good girls do.” Fuck, his voice.

“Good girls don’t do a lot of things I do.”

And you’re not sure what gives you the sudden confidence, but you lean forwards, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth. It’s a horrible angle, your legs in the way, but you don’t care.

And then you’re retreating, opening your eyes again, suddenly unsure of what you’ve just done. Your mouth feels tingly, where you can still feel Santi against you. His grip has tightened on your leg, no longer moving.

And then his hand is tugging at you a little, and there’s a smile threatening to take over his face.

Come here.

You scoot up, so your left leg is fully over him, your right leg tangling with his under the table and you can smell him now, beer and - as weird as it sounds - like a man. It’s familiar. Nice. Breathless, you shoot him a little grin, suddenly unsure.

And then he’s kissing you again and it’s everything you ever dreamed of. His lips are soft, but firm, moving against your mouth, contrasting with the slight stubble growing on his face. His free hand moves to your waist and you let out a small sound.

You break apart after a second, both of you breathless. You’ve slung your arms around his neck, fingers idly playing with his chain, and you’re the first to speak.

“So do you use those handcuffs on anyone?”

Santi kisses you again, short and sweet, before he answers, his lips mumbling against yours. “Hmm, just on girls I really like.”

You kiss again, neither of you really wanting to stop. “Can I use them on you?” Santi asks, moving to kiss along your jaw, nipping at your earlobe. You feel surrounded by him, he’s all you care about, all you can feel.

Your eyes snap open, desire pooling in your belly. Is this really happening? “Yes.”

“Good.” Santi’s voice is still low in your ear, before he moves down your neck, soft lips a stark contrast to his stubble catching on your skin. “How do you feel about a date, too?”

“Yeah?” You lean back slightly so you can see his face. He’s beautiful in this light, face half hidden in the shadows, eyes dark.

His lips are brushing yours again.

“Yeah. I’ll pick you up, take you somewhere nice, do it properly.”

“Good,” you mumble against him, “that sounds really good.” Your fingers are still playing with his chain, lightly brushing against the scar on his neck. “Shall we go?”

Before you know it, the two of you are sitting in a cab, having said a quick goodbye to the others, Will asking if it was safe for them to sit back in the booth. You’d responded with the finger, not bothering with a proper reply.

Santi leans over to you, whispering into your ear. “Can I really tie you up?”

You clench your thighs together, closing your eyes in an effort not to physically respond. The pause is enough for Santi to hesitate, hand shyly holding yours. “It’s ok, if you don’t want to, that’s fine, it was just a-”

You stop him with a kiss, moving your hand so you can squeeze him in reassurance. When you answer, it’s a mumble against his mouth so the driver doesn’t hear. “Break out the handcuffs, and we’ll see if you’re as tough as you act, big boy.”

Santi groans when you lean away from him.

Getting inside Santi’s flat is a feat in itself, and you’re honestly a little proud of the restraint both of you showed by not fucking in the stairwell, stopping every couple of meters to kiss each other senseless, hips clumsily knocking together as you rile each other up.

You’ve been inside his flat before, so when Santi kicks the door closed, walking you backwards into his bedroom, kissing you all the while, you don’t protest. It’s so nice to finally kiss Santi like you’ve wanted to for a while now, so nice to feel his hands on your waist, pushing you backwards while his hips press into yours, steady now, purposeful.

His fingers are playing with the waist of your trousers, and you help him, shimmying your jeans off, pushing them down your thighs and letting them fall to the floor. Then he surprises you, dropping to his knees in front of you, pulling your knickers down your legs.

Looking down, you feel dizzy from the rush of power this brings you. Santi looks like he’s about to worship you, his face close to your pussy. His hands are on your waist and he pushes at you, encouraging you to step back.

When you don’t he tips his head back, exposing his neck to you. “Step back.” His voice is dangerous and you can feel more wetness gathering between your legs. You grin down at him, still not moving.

In response Santi nips at your thigh, grinning when you gasp, hands flying to his hair. He pushes at you again, and this time you let him, stepping back until you hit his bed, sitting down.

Santi presses his hand against your stomach, and you allow yourself to be pushed back, falling back onto your elbows so you can watch him. He presses his nose to your mound and you squirm, impatient, as Santi spreads your knees so he can fit between your legs.

You watch him press his nose to your pussy, burying his nose in you, feeling yourself grow wetter. “You taste so good,” he groans, “Sweetest pussy I’ve tasted.” As he begins to explore you with his tongue, your hips lift off the bed with a groan and it takes you a second to recognise your own voice, broken with need. Santi’s arm reaches out, pressing you down as he explores your folds. Stubble is scratching your thighs, a pleasantly rough feeling compared to the soft wetness, the pliability of Santi’s tongue. Your clit is the first thing he concentrates on, his tongue practically lapping at you, and it all feels so good.

One hand is desperately fisting the sheets to the side of you as you try to hold on to reality, the other knotted in Santi’s short curls, nails scraping ever so slightly along his scalp even as he lifts you higher and higher. Broken pleas of his name fall from your lips when he inserts two fingers into you, gently pumping in and out, with a strangely satisfying squelch under your cries.

Your orgasm creeps up on you, slow and unsuspecting. One second your chest is heaving, breaths short and shallow, the next you’ve tensed up as you fall apart under Santi.

He keeps kissing you, gently pressing his lips over your thighs, hips, stomach as you stare at his ceiling, willing rational thought to return to you. He’s murmuring praises into your skin, telling you how good you are for him, what a good job you’ve done, how pretty you look when you come, how he wants to make you do it again, and all the while you float somewhere above your body, hardly daring to believe this is real. Santi keeps kissing you, any skin he can get his mouth on, desperate to keep tasting you. Gradually he moves up your body, even as you lie there, panting, letting him push your top up, bunching under your arms and around your neck.

Your hands fly to his hair when he bites the soft skin of your breast peeking out from your bra, and you arch your back towards him slightly, letting out a small whine. You can feel his smirk against you, so you wrap your legs around his waist, canting your hips up, grinding against where you can feel him, hard and aching in his jeans.

Now it’s your turn to smirk, slow and lazy when Santi lets out a low growl in response. He tips his head up so he can look at you, his eyes soft as he smiles at you. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

And then his body weight is gone and he’s standing next to the bed, taking his top off and it’s not the first time you’ve seen him shirtless, of course it isn’t, but it’s the first time you’ve seen him and been allowed to look, and Santi’s all shadows and soft muscle, pale scars highlighted on his skin.

You sit up, and it takes you a second to fight your way out of your top, quickly sliding the straps of your bra off, and dropping your clothes to the side of the bed as you watch Santi cross his room, and fish out a pair of handcuffs from a box with a couple of other objects inside, as well as what you’re pretty sure looks like a strap-on. And maybe it’s because his ass is currently in your eye-line, maybe it’s the surprise, but the image of you wearing it, teasing Santi with your dick while he waits on all fours on his bed, begging for you to touch him, suddenly pops into your head, and you have to work to hold back a moan at the mental image. Oh my god.

When Santi turns back to you, he’s opened the cuffs. “Are you familiar with the traffic light system?”

You suddenly feel nervous, your mouth dry, and you don’t know why, this is Santi. He’s made it clear that you don’t have to do this, and anyway you want to. “Green is good, orange is slow down, red is stop,” you recite easily, and Santi nods in satisfaction.

“Good girl,” he says and his words hit deep in your stomach, unfurling something you hadn’t known existed. “You say something and I’ll untie you.”

You raise an eyebrow, leaning back on your hands, eyeing up the way Santi’s jeans are still on, now hanging low on his hips, exposing a small trail of hair down from his bellybutton. “What if I don’t want you to untie me?” You ask.

You can see how his eyes darken, but he doesn’t move. “Tell me you understand,” he says, voice stern and you shiver.

“I understand,” you parrot. Santi nods, pleased at you doing as he says, and steps out of his jeans, pulling his boxers off at the same time, releasing his cock. He’s hard, curving up towards his stomach and leaking pre-cum.

Almost on instinct, you lean forwards to lick it off, and Santi lets out a groan of satisfaction at the sensation of your mouth just wrapping around his head, your hands on his thighs. Before you can take him any further, he’s stepping back, shaking his head.

“Lie back,” he instructs, and you obey. Santi kneels next to you, tugging your wrists up, above your head, looping the handcuffs through his headboard and clicking them on around you. You give them an experimental tug, biting back a moan when they hold fast. “Colour?” Santi asks, and you grin up at him.

“Green.” Your voice already sounds broken. “Santi, please.”

Santi just kneels back, looking at you with those hungry eyes. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he breathes out, hands running up and down your body, ignoring how you squirm as best you can under him.

“Oh yeah?” You ask. “Why don’t you come down here then, instead of just watching me?” Santi’s hands reach your breasts, squeezing and gently massaging and you arch your back towards him.

“You’re unhappy with my hands?” Santi returns, and stops touching you. You can’t help it, letting out a whine and straining to move your arms towards him, before remembering you can’t, your attempted movement jangling the chain a little.

“No, Santi,” you’re desperate for him to touch you again, especially now you can’t touch him,“Santi please, touch me again, touch me more.” Begging has never come so easily to you. And then Santi’s moving between your legs, gripping your hips and thrusting up, but not into you, just along your folds. You moan, shifting as best as you can while Santi coats himself with your slick, the head of his cock just pushing your clit, teasing you and riling you up further.

You suddenly really want to touch him, to rake your hands through his hair, to scratch your nails down his back, to be able to suck a purple hickey into his skin. You let your head fall back to the bed, pushing your hips towards him, desperate for more, desperate for him.

It’s only when you open your mouth in a desperate plea, a whine of his name, “Santi, Santi please,” that he begins to push into you.

Your mouth falls open in silent pleasure, just as Santi begins to talk. “Fuck, baby.” The stretch of him is delicious. “I wanted this for so long.” Now fully seated in you, he rests on his forearms, kissing you softly, first on the forehead, then on your lips. “Colour?” he asks softly.

You nearly cry from how sweet it is, how sweet he is, before responding, a mumble against his lips. “Green.” You feel full, like this is how you’re supposed to feel all the time, this is your base state, and you’re going to spend the rest of your life trying to achieve this specific feeling.

“Good girl,” Santi murmurs and you keen at the praise, feeling insatiable, wanting more, clenching around him. He grins, registering your response. “You liked that? You like being told what a good job you’re doing, how good you feel around me..” he breaks off with a gasp, and your eyes close as Santi begins to move in time with his words, long, slow thrusts as he begins to put you together again, building you up, further and further, his thrusts speeding up gradually, the sound of his dick sliding into your wetness, and the slap of skin-on-skin loud in his room, mixing with your moans.

You lift your legs up, wrapping them around his waist, hooking one of your feet around Santi’s butt. They don’t stay there for long, one of Santi’s arms pushing one leg up your body, hand under your knee as he splits you open. The new angle hits something deeper in you, and you gasp, unable to move and at the mercy of Santiago.

Your orgasm takes you by surprise, coming out of nowhere, your lower body suddenly clenching around Santi, arms straining against the handcuffs, as you try in vain to touch him. You tumble through it, muscles spasming as you fall under him. He keeps moving into you as you shudder below him, pulling you through with murmured praise and encouragement as another broken cry leaves your throat.

His thrusts start to get sloppier as he goes faster, losing his rhythm slightly and you can tell he’s near his end. As best you can, you start moving your own hips, grinding up to meet him, words of encouragement slipping past your lips. “Santi, you feel so good, are you gonna fill me up?” You coo, pouting a little, tugging your wrists a little for emphasis. “Please Santi, I want to feel you, come in me, please-”

You stop when Santi snaps his hips once more, with a groan of finality and you can feel his cum inside of you as he holds himself there, his cock pulsing within you. He presses a couple more gentle kisses to your neck before sliding out, and you hiss slightly at the pull on your sensitive folds of your pussy.

He leaves for a second, returning with a key and gently releasing your wrists. “Good girl,” he murmurs, massaging your skin. “You did so good for me.”

He helps you sit up, kissing your cheek before leaving again. This time when he returns, he has a wet rag, and a glass of water, which you take a sip from, not having realised how thirsty you were. He gently dabs the rag on the inside of your thighs first, and the two of you watch in slightly morbid fascination as Santi’s cum leaks out of you onto the rag.

“That’s kinda hot,” you comment idly, wondering if Santi fucked all sense of you.

He only laughs, wiping the mess away and cuddling up next to you. “Do you want me to do it again?” he asks as you lean into his arms, his hands wrapping around your wrists to rub circles into your skin.

“Yes,” you answer, probably too quickly but beyond caring.

“Good.”

There’s a pause, and you can tell Santi wants to ask you something, so you twist in his arms, kissing along his shoulder. The act feels small, and innocent somehow, despite your states of undress, as you try to reassure him.

“You were right,” you murmur near his ear, “Stranger was where I was going wrong.”

It takes him a second to piece your reference together, but then he grins, and it’s like he hung the sun in the sky. “Yeah? I took care of you?”

You kiss him again, this time on the lips, biting back your own identical grin. “Yeah.”

***

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#Santiago x reader #Santiago Garcia x reader #Santiago pope x reader #Santiago pope Garcia x reader #pope x reader #Santiago Garcia #Santiago pope #Santiago pope Garcia #triple frontier #fanfic

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