#mike vs brad: episode two

[incorrectlinkinpark]

mike: would you punch me for a million dollars

brad: i would dropkick you in the head for free

[welcometowcwmondaynitro]

WCW Monday Nitro 23/09/1996

We kick off with Tony telling the audience that “we’re off and running” with another action-packed episode of America’s number one wrestling program, WCW Monday Nitro!

I’m ready.

No indication of where we are tonight - small town alert. Let’s see. Google tells me that tonight we are in the Benjamin-Jefferson Civic Center in Birmingham, Alabama. WCW does not seem to like advertising when they are broadcasting from Civic Centers, for some reason.

So this week we’re back to Tony and Larry dressing like idiots. Tony looks like a butler/waiter at some higher-end establishment, whilst Larry is wearing something terrible underneath his jacket. Thankfully whatever that abomination is remains mostly hidden, but still, I can tell just by the small amount I can see that it’s a turgid mess. 

The Butler reminds us that most of WCW’s top stars are in Japan, making it the perfect opportunity for the nWo to strike. Considering how much WCW have played on that you’d think they may be luring the nWo into a trap of some kind... but it’s WCW, so probably not. 

Tony holds up some newspaper with an nWo advert inside.

Tony tells us this was in USA Today, apparently. WCW are so offended by the advert that they show it at the very opening of the show. Makes sense. 

Meanwhile Critic’s Corner/Matt Roush also gets some free publicity. Is that Matt in the photo? Nice beard bro. Not sure about the hat.

Larry goes into some rant about the nWo being parasites, helpfully explaining what a parasite is, but half way through his speech seems to get lost, as his words begin to jumble together and make no sense. He ends by decreeing that Hogan and the Outsiders are “nothing but parasites”.

Tony takes a deep breath as this is happening, before Tony tells us that one man is here - Macho - along with “many other top stars of WCW”. Let’s see. Humorous, Glacier, Super Calo and the Dungeon of Doom don’t count. Ice Train however does count. The Train is awesome. Actually after last week I’ll count Calo too, as that guy is just flat-out insane and as a result earned my respect.

We get footage from Fall Brawl showing the match between Savage and the Giant, including Savage giving Giant an impressive scoop slam.  

More footage of the nWo handing out leaflets. Is this really necessary? Also, I have to reiterate, what a fucking waste of paper. No wonder we barely have any rainforests left - the nWo used them all to make millions of these fucking flyers.

This chilly bro is cutting some kind of promo which I think is anti-nWo, but we can’t really hear what he’s saying.

 We’re ready for our first match of the evening, and it’s involving the Dungeon of Doom. Tony, I told you these idiots do not count as “top stars”.

Good old Taskmaster Konan. 

Konnan strides beside Sullivan speaking Spanglish whilst Sullivan pretends to understand a word of what it being said. It’s like if your grandad was accosted by a random Mexican gangbanger and tried to ‘act cool’ in order not to get capped.

The Dungeon’s opponents are already in the ring.

Well, that’s an... unusual pairing. I’m curious as to how these two were put together. Actually that’s a lie, I don’t really care.

“Taskmaster” Kevin Sullivan & Konnan (w/ Jimmy Hart) Vs. Brad Armstrong & Juventud Guerrera

Mike Tenay joins the commentary team for this match. 

The match starts with Konnan tossing Juvi onto his head via a german suplex, truly suplex city before Brock made that a thing. I’ve just noticed that for some reason Big Bubba is at ringside as well. I hope Glacier runs down and karate kicks him in the face again.

Juvi regains control with a swift headscissors on Konnan. Juvi then flies out to dive onto K-Dogg.

Sullivan could have done something to stop this, but he just stands there and watches. 

Weirdly Tony clarifies the Mexican Heavyweight title isn’t on the line. It’s a tag match, why would anyone have assumed it was?

Juvi gets dumped on his head with a nasty looking cradle DDT, as Mark Curtis does the crab people dance. Konnan goes to tag Sullivan, but Sullivan for some reason refuses, so Konnan goes back on the offence. Once again Konnan goes for a tag, and once again the Taskmaster says no thanks. He evidently doesn’t want to do any work tonight. Maybe he’s upset he didn’t get invited to Japan. 

Juvi tags in American hero Brad Armstrong who immediately kicks Konnan in the gut.

Armstrong gains a little offence but Konnan dropkicks his knee which puts him down. Now Sullivan wants the tag. He tags in and does his stupid little finisher.

The ref counts the pin and for some reason Juvi doesn’t even bother to try and come in to break it up. Maybe he just thought there’s no way my partner is going to be pinned off such a shitty looking move, considering he’s only been in the ring for about a minute. Gamble did not pay off. 

“Taskmaster” Kevin Sullivan and Konnan defeat Brad Armstrong and Juventud Guerrera via pinfall.

Post-match Konnan is annoyed by Sullivan’s reluctance to tag in earlier and shoves him. This leads to Big Bubba attacking Konnan from behind, at which point he and the Taskmaster put the boots to him.

I can only assume Sullivan was very offended by whatever Konnan was saying in Spanish during their entrance. There’s been literally no buildup to this betrayal at all otherwise. Konnan is easily the best member of the Dungeon of Doom from the perspective of being a decent wrestler (Meng aside obviously) so it seems odd to kick him out.

But hold on. Jimmy Hart tells the camera it’s an initiation, as Sullivan pulls Konnan to his feet.

Hold on. Aren’t initiations supposed to happen before you join a group, not weeks/months afterwards? The Dungeon just does everything backwards. What a bunch of idiots. Konnan yells that he’s Dungeon of Doom and everybody is happy. Tenay says this is how Konnan grew up and it’s a gang initiation. OK, firstly, Dungeon of Doom - shittiest gang ever. With that said I would have loved to have seen them in something like The Shield (if you haven’t seen it, watch it). Vic Mackey smacking Jimmy Hart around and cracking him across the skull with his megaphone would have been magnificent. Secondly, again, initiations happen before somebody joins, not some time afterward. Well anyway, Sullivan said in a later interview that Konnan was “forced” into the Dungeon and “didn’t fit in”. No shit, he actually had charisma and talent.

Tony tells us that Chris Jericho and Mike Enos are coming up. Wow, more “top stars”. Keep in mind this isn’t even Jericho of late 1997 or 1998, but rather bland pointless babyface Jericho of 1996.

We pan the crowd and then see footage of the nWo in their limo from last week. Again, what’s the point? This is boring and just filling time. 

Mike is backstage with Macho, and informs him that he’s been publicky targeted by the nWo.

Savage asks “Am I a marked man?” then talks in such a low voice I genuinely can’t hear what he’s saying. Savage yells that even if Hogan cheap shots him “every night and every day” before Halloween Havoc it isn’t going to change anything. Savage calls himself the last hope of WCW. Desperate times. Macho notes that the majority of WCW are booked in Japan, and claims he was too, but he took himself out to stay in the US. Really? Not sure I buy that. I think Macho is just trying to make himself feel better. Kind of like a kid who didn’t get invited to a party, then tells his friend “no, I totally was invited, I just wanted to stay at home and play on my Nintendo”. Sure. Makes sense to stay in the States as the sole target for the nWo. Macho starts talking about multiple lifetimes again, showcasing his Buddhist philosophies once again, and then says “the only thing we have in common is that about 100,000 lifetimes from now we might be the same goldfish swimming in the same water.”

Tenay is just like.... what? Savage straight up admits he’s making no sense, and concludes by saying he’s taking responsibility to wipe Hogan out. 

We’re back to the arena after that craziness, and out comes Mike “Ready” Enos.

Haven’t seen “Rough” recently - wonder if he’s still around? Enos is still wearing the “rough and Ready” vest, regardless.

Larry says that Savage is “confused”. That’s an understatement. 

Jericho comes out, to what Tony calls “rousing applause”, which is more apt to describing the end of a theatre show or something. 

Mike Enos Vs. Chris Jericho

Enos wants to shake Jericho’s hand. Don’t do it, don’t do it...

Idiot.

Match goes back and forth, but ends in a weird way. Enos attempts a powerslam...

But Jericho kind of reverses it into a weak looking takedown...

But apparently that’s enough for the win. 1, 2, 3, Jericho wins. Not sure I’ve ever seen a powerslam reversal before, but based on how shitty this looked that’s probably for the best.

Chris Jericho defeats Mike Enos via pinfall.

Goldberg’s music hits.

But he’s still utilising his previous gimmick as a kung fu master named Pat Tanaka. Shaving his head made a world of difference.

The lights go out, a blue hue descends upon the arena, so that can only mean...

Sub Shredder.

Tony talks about Glacier’s bullshit backstory as if it actually happened. Both Tony and Larry claim it is “literally” snowing in here, which is a blatant lie. Glacier may be a ninja or whatever, but he can’t control the fucking weather. Larry also claims he’s a black belt. Maybe that’s true, but I don’t trust him.

Pat Tanaka Vs. Glacier

These two weirdos circle each other for a while, as the arena lighting remains a pale shade of blue.

An epic showdown. Tanaka attempts a karate chop, but Glacier takes him down with a palm strike. Tanaka then attempts a kick, but he evidently hasn’t played Mortal Kombat, as Glacier counters with Sub Zero’s classic leg sweep.

Tanaka decides to say fuck this martial arts bullshit, and instead just hits Glacier with a sitdown powerbomb. It has little effect, as Glacier gets to his feet and executes a spinning side kick.

Tanaka is down for the count, and this one is over. I am disappointed we didn’t see the Cryonic Kick here. I guess Glacier didn’t hit the correct button combination for his fatality. Oh well.

Glacier defeats Pat Tanaka via pinfall.

Glacier poses in the ring. Larry suggests the nWo are going to recruit Glacier. Just fucking lol at that. I’m sure Hogan and crew have been very impressed with Glacier beating The Gambler, Big Bubba and Pat Tanaka. Sign that man up before he slips away. 

Back from the break and we get a shot of this dude.

Matt Ghaffari. Apparently a silver medalist at the 1996 Olympics. Didn’t win the gold medal with a broken freakin’ neck though, did he? Also, and I’m not trying to be a dick here, but it looks like somebody photoshopped his face to move the eyes and nose slightly higher than they should be. Just saying. Larry calls Ghaffari a “loser” who “couldn’t even win gold”. I’d like to see you try, Larry. Tony actually does call Larry out on this, asking him how many olympic medals he has. Larry claims he wasn’t allowed into the olympics because he was “too mean”. Yeah, OK. Tony laughs at this.

Ugh. Noooooo.

Larry says that Public Enemy - who are carrying a table to ringside, as usual - have “found a loophole” where if you bring a “foreign object” to ringside, but leave it outside the ring, you can use it outside the ring with no consequence. What shit is he chatting? If you bring a knife to ringside and then stab somebody with it you’re going to get disqualified whether you’re in the ring or not. Well, actually, you’re going to get a lot more than disqualified... but anyway, Larry is talking nonsense as usual.

Alright, the Heat. Now this is a bit better, but I really wish they weren’t accompanied by that dicksplash Col. Parker. Booker comes out yelling that the Heat “are going to hurt somebody”. if only it was that buttwipe behind you wearing the stupid hat.

Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri, Col. Parker) Vs. Public Enemy

 As soon as the bell rings, Stevie Ray chucks Grunge out of the ring. He and Booker then double team Rocco, sending him into the corner and then levelling him with a double boot to the chops.

Their advantage doesn’t last for long, though as Grunge dives off the top rope and hits the Heat with a double clothesline.

Crazy start to the match. Is this a tornado tag? Everyone is in the ring and once and Patrick is just letting it go. Then again, this is WCW, where rules are known to be somewhat fluid. 

Grunge is very pumped up after hitting the double clothesline. He jumps up and starts swivelling his hips like he’s got an invisible hula hoop. The crowd have zero reaction to this. Stevie Ray and Grunge do now get onto the apron, making this a proper tag team match.

After some back and forth, Booker attempts a side kick but somehow ends up straddling the ropes, after which Grunge proceeds to shake them, further increasing the pressure on Booker’s testicles.

Patrick gives Grunge a disapproving finger wag. Grunge ignores him.

The match really isn’t much to write home about. However, all of a sudden...

We move to split screen, so that we can see the nWo arriving. For some reason the Giant is also dressed like a waiter tonight. Did somebody rib Tony and Giant into thinking it was food server fancy dress tonight or something?

Larry suggests they lock the doors to keep them out. Sure, or just, you know, hire actual security to make sure the nWo don’t come in. I appreciate WCW isn’t exactly great when it comes to forward planning, but still. Tony says that if the doors were locked the nWo would just break in, and then says we’ve already seen them smash car windows. Have we? The only person I remember doing that was Sting, when he chucked a giant fucking boulder through the nWo’s limo window. Still can’t get over that. 

Larry says of the nWo “they’re organised, we’ve got Randy Savage who is confused”. Harsh, but ultimately a fair statement. Tony calls the nWo “vandals”, which... yeah, sure, but so what? 

Meanwhile back at the match, Booker attempts a Harlem Hangover but misses.

Next, Booker rolls Rocco into a small package.

Rocco then adjusts so that Booker’s shoulders are on the mat.

Let’s be clear - you can see from this image that it is literally impossible for Rocco’s shoulders to be on the mat. He is laying on his side. Booker meanwhile is on his back. Patrick counts the three, and for some reason both men run to the corners celebrating victory.

Also Harlem Heat’s music starts playing. Dafuq. You all saw that still image I posted - there’s no ambiguity there about who was pinning who. 

Patrick, completely correctly, calls a Public Enemy win. The music changes from Harlem heat to Public Enemy. Why was Heat’s music playing in the first place? Anyway, Harlem Heat along with Sherri and Parker are furious, ganging up on Patrick.

Even though he has absolutely made the right call here. 

Public Enemy are, incredibly, new tag team champs. God only knows why this decision was made. I do like the ECW sign being held up as Rocco holds the belts up. Well captured, albeit probably totally unintentional. 

Grunge celebrates in front of this old woman, who looks at him like he’s a fucking dirtbag. 

Bruh, what is this shirt. If you paid anything more than $0 for this you were ripped off.

Public Enemy def. Harlem Heat via Pinfall to win the Tag Team Titles. 

 We come back from a commercial break to... this.

When you buy Arn Anderson off wish.com.

Fireworks go off as we begin hour number two.

We also switch to Bischoff, Tenay and Heenan on commentary.

I really liked WCW’s entranceway. Very cool design. 

That’s not so cool. At least Valentino isn’t with him this week. I like how Valentine’s entrance music is just a bunch of heavy guitar riffs. Doesn’t suit him at all. With that said, I’m not sure what would suit him. At this point in time probably just not wrestling.

The crowd pops big for everyone’s favourite lunatic, the Macho man. Gee, I wonder who’s going to win this one?

Greg “the hammer” Valentine Vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage

Macho starts off strong with some punches in the corner, but the hammer manages to take Macho down with a back elbow. His butt is jiggling all over the place and it’s gross. No picture, I refuse.

The announcers talk about how everybody is in Japan, so Macho is on his own. Except, that isn’t true, is it? There are still plenty of WCW personnel around. Just because the big names aren’t here doesn’t mean Harlem Heat, Public Enemy, the Dungeon, Jericho, Pat Tanaka, Glacier... okay, actually never mind.

Valentine drops an elbow straight onto Macho’s dick and balls. Brutal. The crowd are like “ohhhh” and Mark Curtis is like...

Uh...

Anyway, Valentine decides now he’s going to put his face down there too.

This is just getting disturbing now.

So, Bischoff informs us that Super Calo dislocated his elbow earlier and is going to the hospital. Wait, what? Super Calo? What bullshit is this. Well I just checked and apparently Calo and Rey Mysterio had a dark match before the show went on the air for the cruiserweight title.

Alright, to quote Lex Luger, I’m pissed now. You showed fucking Glacier Vs. Pat Tanaka, Jericho Vs Mike Enos, The Dungeon Vs. Juvi and Brad Armstrong, but you left REY MYSTERIO AND SUPER FUCKING CALO OFF THE SHOW? YOU FUCKERS. I’m incensed. Especially as Calo apparently did something so crazy that he actually injured himself. Recalling his match against Konnan, I’m not surprised, but I can only imagine what he did to hurt himself. Dude bounced around like he was made of rubber or something. Regardless, I’ll never know, because WCW hate their fans. FUCK.

Anyway, Macho is on the guardrail, with Valentine chopping his chest...

And the fans behind him are just laughing. That’s not nice. Also, I must stress again, that dude’s shirt... what, the, fuck. Did he wake up and think “I want to look like ice cream sprinkles today?”

Bischoff says “ambulances have circled the building” in anticipation of the nWo seriously hurting someone. Could have, I don’t know, called the police instead? And I don’t mean the band. It seems a bit defeatist to have multiple ambulances on standby. Also...

For some reason Tony and Larry’s stupid little area is still set up. Wouldn’t it make sense to take that stuff away? 

More fashion nightmares here - and I have to reiterate, I am no fashion guru, but I despair that people think it’s okay to exit their houses wearing stuff like this. Have some respect for yourself, broskis. The guy on the left looks like the loading screen for a Commodore 64. 

To be honest, Savage has spent pretty much the entire match being schooled (very slowly) by Valentine. He basically has had enough, so he just picks up a chair and cracks Valentine over the head with it.

Lol. 

Referee doesn’t call for the bell. OK? Savage gets up onto the top rope and slams the chair over Valentine’s head again.

NOW the ref calls for the bell. Hold on, does that mean Larry was right earlier? That if you use a weapon outside of the ring it’s fine, but do it inside the ring and it’s game over? The fuck, man. Why not just throw your opponent outside, smack him with a chair for a few seconds and then roll him back inside then? What bullshit. Especially when, technically, in WCW it’s a DQ if you throw your opponent over the top rope. Now, I know they rarely actually adhere to that rule, but still...

Throw somebody over the top rope = DQ

Smash somebody in the head with a chair outside of the ring = No problem

Yeah, sure. Whatever. I don’t even care anymore. 

Savage grabs Mark Curtis and tosses him over the top rope. The nWo come out and begin attacking the Macho Man.

Just to be clear, though... the guy who just got himself disqualified by waffling his opponent over the head with a steel chair and who then assaulted the ref is the good guy here. Sure.

Valentine just gets out of the ring and leaves. Lmao. I mean, you can’t really blame him. Savage just smacked him across the head with a chair twice. No reason for Greg to help him out. 

Macho gets hit with the Outsider’s Edge.

Such a cool move. 

Liz appears, for some reason looking concerned. She then runs off into the backstage area. Pointless.

Why would she care, anyway? She’s spent the last however many months being Ric Flair’s FWB and laughing about spending the money Macho was forced to give her from the divorce. Now she’s worried about him?

You may think, well, it’ll be explained eventually. All will become clear. 

No. It’s never explained. She just likes Savage again now.

Lmao. Seriously, what is the Giant wearing? Is he their car valet or something?

Savage takes a jackknife powerbomb. The crowd is now pelting the ring with garbage. 

Giant grabs the mic to introduce “the man and the myth, the man to be with, the all-time greatest professional wrestler in the world. A man who made professional wrestling what it is today. A man who knows no limits. The financial backbone of the nWo. The largest arms in the world. The one, the only, Hollywoooooooooooood Hogaaaaaaaannnnn.”

OK. I thought DiBiase was the financial backbone of the nWo? 

Here comes the Hollywood Hulkster. 

The Giant struts and woos like Ric Flair, whilst Hogan hits a leg drop on Savage.

Tenay says WCW medical staff have sent a gurney to ringside for Macho. Lmao. Wow, nice. Good job. Why not send security instead?

Hogan delivers a second leg drop, then Nash starts whipping Savage with a Slim Jim. Not gonna lie, that made me chuckle.

Yo, that’s a sick shirt. What’s up with all the nWo/Terminator crossover shirts though? I mean, they’re cool, I just don’t get it.

Hogan says something about being blinded by the lights shining off “the Nacho Man’s bald head”. Glass houses, Hulk. Bischoff actually says “what does he see when he looks in the mirror?” - hah. 

Hogan then spraypaints over Macho’s bald spot. It’s kind of funny that WCW are trying to sell this as a serious thing, but whipping Macho with a slim jim and spraypainting his bald spot is just hilarious af. Sorry Macho. 

Hall and Nash leave the ring and head towards the announce booth. Smartly, Heenan legs it, as Bischoff stands up and repeats “wait a minute, wait a minute”. 

Nash shoves Bischoff back into his seat and threatens to punch him.

Nash continues to violently threaten Bischoff, as Hall puts Easy E’s headset back on and tells him to do his job, and do it well. Good advice. Hall also puts a headset on. 

The whole crew are here. Except for the Giant. I guess his shift break was over. 

You can’t help but laugh at this. WCW had a week to prepare for this, the nWo made it clear what they were going to do, and still... this is the end result. No security, no police, no wrestlers acting as muscle. Nothing. They have ambulances circling the building though, so... yeah. If you need to get to the hospital you’re good. Seriously though, they had the bright idea of using jobbers for security literally only weeks ago, then totally abandoned the idea. Why? I get that it must have been crazy boring and the wrestlers aren’t actually paid to be security – but in kayfabe, why did they stop doing this?

The Giant joins the fun as Bischoff presses his head against the desk. Nash pulls him back up and wraps his arm around Bischoff’s shoulders. Hall then announces the newest member of the nWo - Vincent.

Otherwise known as Virgil. And yes, they called him Vincent to poke fun at Vincent Kennedy McMahon. However, I will give this a pass as Vince called him “Virgil” to make fun of Dusty Rhodes. Turnaround is fair play and all of that. The crowd chants “Virgil”, as Virgil/Vincent grabs Bischoff by the hair and yanks his head around. Looks painful.

Bischoff says “we gotta take a break”. The Giant says “why you wanna get broke?” and laughs. Doesn’t even make sense. Don’t quit your day job, bro.

Time for an nWo announcement. It’s just a brief advert for the t-shirt with Hall, Nash and the Giant. 

Hall welcomes us back to “the first ever nWo Monday Nitro”. The actual first nWo nitro will come later, and it won’t be good.

For some reason Hall and Nash are just chatting shit about taking over the NBA, the NFL and Nascar. Good luck. Those companies actually hire security and know who the police are.

Now an nWo car has come out.

I have no idea what is going on.

Bischoff announces we’ve got Jim Powers vs VK Wallstreet coming up. Does he want people to switch channels? Nash calls Powers “a fine young athlete” and Hall says of Wallstreet “what a businessman”. Yeah, all successful businessmen I know have dollar signs emblazoned on their jackets. That’s a sign of class.

Turns out Giant is dressed up like a waiter because he’s going to be the ring announcer going forward. OK. 

“The following contest is against Jim Powers and M. Wallstreet” - literally fucks up the first sentence. Bad start. Also, M Wallstreet? What happened to VK? Oh, btw, the VK was also meant to be a dig at Vince (VK = Vincent Kennedy) but now they’ve dropped it for M... which might as well stand for Mickey Mouse. Maybe they felt they could only have one character as a rib on Vinnie Mac.

Out comes the king of the jobbers, and Teddy Long, who Nash refers to as “peanut head”. Nash also comments that Long is “putting on the poundage”. I mean, he’s not wrong. Nash and Hall also basically make jokes about Jim Powers being on steroids. Not exactly been helping him so far if he is.

M. Wallstreet arrives, looking like a million yen. That’s about £6000, and I’m being generous. 

Jim “Jobber” Powers (w/Peanut Head) Vs. M. Wallstreet

Seriously though, what did any of us do to deserve this match?

  Hall and Nash say “they’re going to get a closer look at this one”, which doesn’t bode well.

Wallstreet meanwhile is looking rough. I guess his stocks are down or something. Bro needs a really, really long nap.

Most of the nWo guys leave the announce desk, but DiBiase and Vincent remain with Bischoff. DiBiase calls Vincent “the CEO of security”. Has such a position ever existed anywhere?

Meanwhile, Hall and Nash have wandered down to the ring and started beating the shit out of Powers on the outside.

This is a new low for Lord Jobberlot. This week he gets beaten down before the match even begins. Sad. Who is that dude on the far left? He’s just standing there chilling whilst the Outsiders murk Jimbo. Seriously, could he look any more casual if he tried? It’s like he’s waiting in line for a soda or something.

There’s also a hot girl standing at ringside who for some reason seems very happy about this situation.

On the far right. Hard to tell from the picture but she isn’t part of the crowd, she’s standing in front of the guardrail beaming like it’s her wedding day or something. Can’t help but wonder if Jimbo did the dirty on this poor girl. It’s either that or she has a fetish for watching men and/or Jim Powers getting beaten up. Maybe she’s in charge of booking him. 

It’s all too much for Randy Anderson.

“This ain’t dubya-cee-dubya, I’m having no part of this” he states as he removes his bowtie and exits the ring. The statement heard around the world.

Giant gets in the ring and announces some shit which amounts to himself being the new opponent for Powers. What happened to Wallstreet by the way? He’s just vanished into thin air. Oh well, no fucks were given. Nick Patrick meanwhile comes out to officiate, which I suppose puts an end to the ambiguity regarding his crooked referee status. Although in typical WCW fashion the whole thing was about as subtle as a sledgehammer being smashed into your ballsack.

Giant winds up for the chokeslam, but as he puts his hand around Powers’ neck…

El Jobber Fantastico literally just falls to the mat. He’s been so conditioned to job that he skips past the actual finish and just falls down to be pinned. Sad. It actually looked like one of those glitches on the old PS1 wrestling games, where the frames drop and you skip most of the finishing move. I hated it when that happened. Giant looks confused for a moment, then reaches down and grabs Jim’s neck again, hauling him up…

And slamming him down.

You may notice we’ve gone to splitscreen. Why? Because apparently WCW thinks it’s a good idea to show Hogan spraypainting the walls of the arena. No, I’m not kidding.

What a rebel. This is a guy in his forties, by the way. A guy who has two kids. Going around tagging walls like a street thug. How cool. Fucking boomer.

Hogan sings “hooray for Hollywooood” in a really weird voice that makes this scene even less cool. 

Hogan starts chatting with the Nasty Boys – who cares? He gives them the key to his hotel suite and tells them to pop the champagne corks, saying he wants to talk business with them. Find better business partners. He also hands Knobbs the WCW Heavyweight title to take back to the hotel room. The sight of Knobbs with the strap makes me feel despondency in a way I can’t describe, so I’m not even going to show a screenshot of that.

Hogan gurns at the camera and continues to sing “hooray for Hollywood”. Words cannot do justice in describing how fucking irritating he sounds.

Bruh, just stop it already.

We go to a break, and come back to this.

Bischoff reflecting how I’m feeling, watching Hogan behave like the biggest fucking dork in existence. He’s wearing Macho Man’s hat now. He looks like a dicksplash.

Jim Duggan’s music starts playing. Oh lord, why is this just getting worse? Those poor fans. Just shitty match after shitty match. They aren’t even seeing the majority of the nWo stuff going on.

Oh, I guess the Powers Vs Wallstreet/Giant match ended? Or did it even begin? I don’t know.

Jim Powers’ match ended with him jobbing to the entire nWo.

Anyhow, let’s see what riveting television is about to occur with everyone’s favourite patriotic dunce making an appearance.

As Duggan comes out, the Giant announces “Jim Duggan versus Ron Studd” – bro, how are you this bad at ring announcing? You’re supposed to announce people as they enter, not both competitors at once.

Duggan comes out screaming “HOOOOO”. Terrifying.

Before Ron Studd enters, Hall repeats three times that “he’s a comer”. I don’t know what that means exactly, but it sounds worryingly sexual.

The Vanilla Gorilla waddles out, pointing at Duggan whilst muttering something incomprehensible. He looks a bit deranged.

Before Studd can get to the ring, Hogan walks in front of him and shakes his hand.

Studd appears utterly baffled as Hogan speaks, like the human language itself is beyond his ability to grasp.

Hogan and Nash then start beating down The Super Giant Ninja.

Small personal story, but I have a very vivid memory of watching this from when I was a kid. For some reason it’s a scene that stuck with me. Only one problem – I don’t exactly remember it happening this way. I have a very clear memory of Studd standing on the top of the entrance ramp, the camera behind him. Hall and Nash then attack Studd as he turns around. I am somewhat sure this is the only time our beloved Vanilla Gorilla got attacked by the nWo, however, so I guess we put it down to the Mandela effect. Or my brain having a shitty memory. Probably that one, actually. Hogan jabs Studd with a hilariously weak chair shot to the neck area. The nWo theme plays and Hall calls it “the soundtrack to your favourite adult movie”.

For what it’s worth, I’m not sure we can be too harsh on Hollywood here. Let’s not forget that Studd was the infamous Yetay, who dry-humped Hogan into oblivion at Halloween Havoc ’95. You could argue Mr Studd had this coming. A long overdue receipt from the Hulkster. Justified.

Syxx is announced as Hacksaw’s new opponent, and he’s standing on the turnbuckle preparing to have a battle of wits with the man built like an overweight fridge.

I mean, it’s a bit of an upgrade from Duggan Vs Studd… but no matter who the opponent, a match with Duggan has a ceiling. Shawn Michaels in his heyday might manage a two star match at best. He’d probably get a three star out of a match with Duggan’s 2x4. By that I mean his stick of wood. Uh, wait, I mean… oh fuck it, you know what I mean, get your minds out of the gutter.

“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan Vs Syxx

Hacksaw gets a “USA” chant going and tries to whack Syxx and then Patrick with his massive piece of wood. Unfortunately he misses both targets, who scramble to the outside.

As Duggan is distracted trying to whomp Patrick with his plank, Syxx sneaks up behind and attacks.

Patrick giving MJ a run for his money with those moves. SHAMONE.

Duggan dominates the early stages.

Check out this homemade nWo shirt in the crowd.

I mean, it’s a better effort than the guy who literally wrote “nWo” on a white shirt with marker pen, but still… the actual merch was out by now. Have some respect for yourself bro.

Syxx is saved by the Giant, who pulls Duggan out to ringside and gives him this awkward looking chokeslam on the ring mats.

Yeah, Duggan is so thicc that Giant actually has to wrap his other arm around Hacksaw’s torso. The “chokeslam” is almost as bad as the one Rick Steiner took some time back. Almost.

Giant rolls Duggan into the ring, and Syxx pins for the win. Not exactly what you’d call a showcase match for Syxx.

Syxx defeats “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan via pinfall.

Hogan, DiBiase and Vincent continue to bully Bischoff at the announce booth. DiBiase has said to Bischoff more than once “if you can’t beat them, join them”, or some variant. Foreshadowing? Maybe, but I don’t think I can bring myself to believe WCW were thinking that far ahead.

After a WCW Magazine advert which promises an interview with Glacier - get fucked - Sting’s entrance music hits.

Apparently the car is called “nWo Sting”. OK. Were they so desperate to get this name graphic up that they couldn’t wait five seconds for the wrestler to come out of the entranceway?

New World Order’s “we have Sting at home” comes out slapping hands with the WCW faithful. Bischoff calls him a cheap knock off, etc. I’m surprised he even recognises that this is an imposter. I was expecting that Bischoff would start crying about Sting defecting again.”Only a sucker would fall for it, and yes, WCW fell for it”, says Bischoff. I mean – where’s the lie? – but way to bury yourself and everyone else in WCW. “Never again”. Yeah, we’ll see about that chief.

The bell rings and nWo Sting lets out a lame “wooooo”.

There’s some big bald guy in the ring who, from behind, looks like a slightly slimmer Otis. He didn’t get an introduction and I don’t know who he is. To the internet…

Bo LeDeau. Bo LeDeau. Who the fuck is Bo LeDeau?

nWo Sting Vs. Bo LeDeau

Bo gets beaten in around a minute. Thanks for coming. I don’t think we ever see him again in WCW or anywhere else. On the basis of this match I guess that’s for the best. The crowd chant “we want Sting”. Well, instead you got fucking Bo.

nWo Sting defeats Bo LeDouche via submission.

Another pathetic match on what has been a largely pathetic night for actual wrestling. We got this fucking nonsense and missed out on Rey Mysterio Jr Vs Super Calo, in a match where Calo went so crazy he actually injured himself. Life fucking sucks.

DANGER, HIGH VOLTAGE, says the arena speakers as Kaos and Rage come out, flailing around like they’ve just dropped a ton of speed, as always.

Kaos yells at the camera that High Voltage are “high on life”. On life. Yeah, sure.

Their opponents…

You have got to be shitting me. This is the main event of the show for fuck’s sake. THE MAIN EVENT IS HIGH VOLTAGE VERSUS THE AMAZING FRENCH FUCKING CANADIANS. How was WWE losing the ratings war to this? Seriously, how? What the fuck did they have on their show that was so bad that this bullshit was the better option?

High Voltage Vs The Amazing French Canadians

I’m begging for the nWo guys to come down and hand out another beating. Please.

Bald spot asks for everyone to stand up and sing the Canadian national anthem.

Yes, thank god. Here come the lads to save us from this fucking atrocity. “Those are our boys” says Hollywood on commentary. Agreed. No wonder the nWo became babyfaces if they were breaking up shit matches like this. They were doing us all a favour.

Sadly the Amazing French Canadians do not take a beating – instead they just leave, and Hall and Nash take their places. That’s fine too, I guess.

High Voltage Vs The Outsiders

Total domination from start to finish by the Outsiders. It ends with Kaos taking a powerbomb.

Embarrassing effort from Rage and Kaos. Low Voltage.

The Outsiders defeat High Voltage via pinfall.

We go back to the announce desk, where the boys are just chatting shit as Bischoff looks on in despair.

They replay the Macho Man getting destroyed whilst Hogan calls him “bald spot”. Stealing my lines.

The show ends with Hogan plugging his next movie, The Three Ninjas, which I wouldn’t advise going out of your way to see. It does lead to something pretty hilarious in WCW’s future, but we’ll get there.

The shows ends with DiBiase laughing maniacally, Vincent bullying Bischoff and Hogan flexing his muscles. Magical.

Look, I know the nWo invasion was new and exciting at the time, but man… I feel sorry for this crowd. What a show to sit through. At least they were given a glimmer of hope with Rey Vs Calo before it all turned to shit. We didn’t even get to see that. Just to confirm, these were the matches tonight:

The Dungeon of Doom Vs Juventud Guerrera and Brad Armstrong Chris Jericho Vs Mike Enos Glacier Vs Pat Tanaka Public Enemy Vs Harlem Heat Greg Valentine Vs Randy Savage The Giant Vs Jim “Jobber” Powers Syxx Vs Jim Duggan nWo Sting Vs Bo LeFuckingDeau The Outsiders Vs High Voltage

When the best match in that list, by a fucking mile, was Chris Jericho Vs Mike Enos then you have problems. Fuck you WCW, and fuck me for even watching this.

[thesffcorner]

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is written and directed by Quentin Tarantino and it follows Rick Dalton (Leonardo Di Caprio) and Cliff Booth (Brad Pit), an actor and his stuntman as they struggle to get work and stay relevant in the film industry at the precipice of the 70s. Dalton was a former TV star, who after a mediocre stunt in film is now trying to score a pilot, this time as the heavy, while Cliff is his stunt double, who really doesn’t have a lot of motivation outside of work and whatever Rick wants him to do. 

If that synopsis sounded kind of weak and vague, that’s because this film is the purest definition of slice of life I can think of. It’s not a film with an overarching plot or a 3 act structure; it’s a series of vignettes that are loosely tied by circumstance and location, and we follow a wide set of characters, not just Rick and Cliff, living their lives and making do in Hollywood. The vignettes are all well written and excellently acted, with some heavy league performers in bit parts, but for the most part, the film’s narrative structure is very loose and at points aimless. 

Out of Tarantino’s own body of work, the film this most reminded me of was Pulp Fiction; the meandering plot, the expansive cast of characters, and the distinct lack of forward momentum. The difference is that all the plots we follow in Pulp Fiction get tied up in an explosive ending, and though this film attempts to do the same, it’s really not successful; more than Reservoir Dogs, this is a film that feels like Tarantino’s first effort, which is concerning since this is his 9th official release. 

In terms of filmmaking the film is excellent; the attention to period detail from the sets to the clothes is impeccable. Los Angeles and especially Hollywood likes like a postcard of it’s Golden Age, and I especially loved the little details like the labels on the food, the plastic beer bottle holders, the boxes in which the demo reels are kept. Even the way the characters speak felt authentic, and there were numerous references to the Vietnam War, and a prominent subplot involved hippies. 

Tarantino is also a master of the filmmaking craft itself; I loved the way he presented the different styles of shooting, the aspect ratio, the way a take is carried out in TV vs in film. My two favorite moments were the interview for the Dick Van Dyke show where the double camera setup was perfectly visualised and the weird, ‘improper’ cuts in the conversation between Rick and Timothy Oliphant’s character. This is a film for filmmakers and lovers of the medium; there is a lot of love for the craft itself and I absolutely loved that aspect of the film. 

Where this film faltered for me were the characters and the plot. Now, I don’t need a film to have a commercial structure or strong throughline to like it; some of my favorite films are The Nice Guys, The Brothers Bloom, Last Night and the Fall, which have very loose plots. I even like Coffee and Cigarettes which is even more aimless than this. What I took issue in this film was that it was inconsistent; it tried to be a slice of life drama, while also having Tarantino’s staple suspense and explosive ending, and as a result, neither part was very well done. 

I think it will be easiest to explain if I talk about the characters. First, as a blanket statement all the performances were excellent; the stand out for me was Brad Pit, but everyone else, even the bit parts were stellar. That’s actually where my first gripe comes in: the bit parts. This film has a lot of characters and a lot of them are completely unnecessary, episodic parts, some played by Tarantino regulars like Kurt Russel, Michael Maddsen, and Bruce Dern, and others by big league actors like Luke Perry, Dakota Fanning and Al Pacino. The two most egregious examples of wasted scenes/characters were Luke Perry and Mike Moh. Luke Perry plays Charlie (cough cough), who ends up being crucial to the film’s ending, and he’s mentioned a few times throughout the film, but we only see him in one super brief scene where he drives an ice cream truck, asks a question and leaves. He’s such a bit part, I would have completely forgotten about him, had I not known that Perry played this part, because I wanted to see what his role in the film was. 

Poor Mike Moh; it’s been a while since a scene has caused this much dumb contraversy. Let’s start with the obvious: Bruce Lee never said anything about making Cassius Clay a cripple, and he never even remotely implied he could beat him. The fact that he would be so easily beaten in a fight by a random tall white dude is also iffy, even if the whole point is that his arrogance blinds him to Cliff’s abilities (which is a whole other can of worms). The real kicker is that this scene is completely and utterly UNNECESSARY. Yes, it’s a fun scene, especially Kurt Russel’s bit at the end, but it could have easily been a daydream, or any other martial artist working at the time. It’s inclusion is dumb, and I wasn’t a fan. 

The second wasted character was Margot Robbie. She plays Sharon Tate, whose inclusion I thought would cause more controversy, but for whatever reason Bruce Lee was the worse of the two. First off her entire character could have easily been cut from the film, and not only would have the film not lost anything, it probably would have been better. Her character barely interacts with Rick, and never with Booth, she doesn’t do anything in the film, and her being Sharon Tate means nothing. We never see her life with Polanski, and because of the alternate ending, unless you already know exactly who she is, you wouldn’t even find out why the film focused on her so much. If you DO know who she is and what happened to her, you will just mostly be uncomfortable, because the way the film focuses on her in the last bit you think it’s going somewhere you’d rather not see.

Then we have the hippy subplot which we can group with Cliff, because they tie together. Even though it’s the plot that is closest to tying up the ending, it’s both absent from most of the film, and significantly less interesting than Rick’s plot. It’s also full of plot threads that come out of nowhere and go nowhere. 

First, if Cliff wasn’t interested in sleeping with Pussy (barf), and knew she wasn’t 18 (which was obvious from the first scene we see her in), then why would he give her a ride? Because he wanted to see the ranch? The scene where he wants to check on Joe was great; the suspense of the ranch, him meeting all the characters, going to the house and seeing the state it was in, it was all excellent. But ultimately, it didn’t contribute to anything; it was funny at the end that he recognized Tex while he was high, but the hippies weren’t there for him, they weren’t even in the right house! 

Second, as a character Cliff didn’t make much sense. He has no motivations or goals; he more or less does Rick’s bidding, and it’s not clear if it is because they are friends, or Rick pays him, or there are some unresolved feelings between them. The movie tries to cover it’s ass by hinting that both men are interested in women, but the women are barely present in the film, and in Cliff’s case, he goes out of his way NOT to have sex with her (probably the only good decision he’s made the whole film). Also, for a stuntman, and the freaking astounding shape that Pit got in, he does 0 stunts. 

Finally we have Rick. Rick had the strongest character motivations in the film, and the most interesting plotline, but by the end he gets no real resolution. His character isn’t a real person, but he doesn’t need to be; plenty of actors have been in the same situation of wanting to expand beyond the material that made them famous and potentially destroying their career in the process. I really liked Rick overall; he was emotional and dramatic, and the few scenes where he just loses it were both hilarious and kind of heartbreaking. He even gets some moments to shine acting wise; I was so interested in the plot of Lanser, the show he was filming that I would have been ok with the whole film just being him and Timothy Oliphant taking the pilot away from the real Lanser who we never see on screen. 

His interactions with the rest of the crew were great; I really enjoyed his banter with the actress (sorry actor) who plays Lanser’s daughter. She was really sharp and funny and I wish the film focused more on their friendship. I also enjoyed all his scenes with Booth and looking back now I’m surprised how few scenes they actually share together. 

Overall, this wasn’t a bad film. I find it to be one of Tarantino’s weakest, but it’s still an entertaining glimpse at a specific time in film history. I think you should watch it and make up your own mind; just don’t expect a masterpiece.

letterboxd

[manxlilac1-blog]

The Bear’s Den, December 28, 2018

BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO BEARS, BEAR DOWN!!!!

BEARRRSSSS

Wiedman: Bears not backing down in last regular season game - Our Turf Football - Wanda Wiedman, OTFB’s Chicago Bears Reporter, looks at the keys to this weeks matchup vs the Minnesota Vikings.

Mullin: ‘Grizzly’ worst-to-first specialist Bobby Massie wants to stay a Bear - NBC Sports Chicago - Bobbie Massie is at the end of a three-year contract that brought him to Chicago, and the time is coming for him (and the Bears) to determine whether he is a Bear or headed to become something else. Massie has already made that determination. “I’m a Bear. Grizzly as hell.”

Week 17: NFC North Champions at Vikings Game Preview - Da Bears Blog - I always like the Chicago Bears…but I don’t love ’em this week. One team is home, playing for their postseason life. The other team has eleven wins and is playing for a bye if a ten-point favorite (the Rams) loses at home. Motivation matters. And I don’t think the Bears have much this week.

Emma: Bears’ Vic Fangio Deserving Of Head Coaching Consideration - 670 The Score - Hiring Vic Fangio as head coach would buck a recent trend in the NFL.

Bears Being Cautious With Allen Robinson, Eddie Jackson - 670 The Score - The Bears are resting several of their key players during practice this week.

Medina: Now That We’ve Had Some Time, Let’s Discuss Allen Robinson and the Fumble - Bleacher Nation - Allen Robinson’s fumble could have sent Week 16’s Bears-49ers game sideways.

Householder: Chicago vs Minnesota Betting Picks & Analysis - Sports Bet Collective - NFL Week 17 betting sucks. It’s hard to know who is going to show up if they’re missing the playoffs, who is going to play their starters for the entire game, if they are going to the playoffs and who is fighting for their playoff lives. The Bears may fall into that second category, while the Vikings are the last.

Campbell: Bears playoff picture - Week 17 scenarios and your guide to scoreboard watching (and rooting) - Chicago Tribune - Bears playoff opponent scenarios entering the final week of the regular season. The Bears could end up playing the Seahawks, Vikings or Eagles. Here's how they end up with each.

Game Preview: Chicago Bears - Minnesota Vikings (Week 17) - The Chicago Audible Podcast - In this in-depth episode, the guys cover everything you need to know heading into the Chicago Bears' Week 17 game against the Minnesota Vikings.

Stankevitz: Bears make it clear - Winning, not resting or hiding, the priority vs. Vikings - NBC Sports Chicago - The Bears are approaching Sunday's season finale with a focus on winning, not resting players or hiding plays with the playoffs looming.

Under Center Podcast: Joint podcast with Eagles Insider Reuben Frank - NBC Sports Chicago - On this special edition of Under Center, JJ Stankevitz welcomes in Reuben Frank from NBC Sports Philadelphia. They talk about how the Bears and Eagles head into Week 17.

Mayer: One stat explains how Bears won division - ChicagoBears.com - The Bears’ NFC North title this season is a direct result of their 4-1 record against division opponents, which matches the win total they accumulated in going 4-20 while finishing in last place each of the previous four years.

Kaufman: Week 17 Key Matchups - ChicagoBears.com - When the Bears take on the Vikings on Sunday, keep an eye out for these three key matchups, including running back Jordan Howard versus Minnesota linebacker Eric Wilson.

Kaufman: Where Bears team, players rank in the NFL - ChicagoBears.com - Take a look at where the Bears stack up both as a team and individually in the NFL rankings heading into their final game of the regular season against the Vikings on Sunday.

Chalk Talk: When was last time Bears played a team three times? - ChicagoBears.com - Senior writer Larry Mayer discusses the last time the Bears played a team three times in the same season, how a tie in Sunday’s Bears-Vikings game would affect playoff seeds and the most wins by a first-year Bears head coach.

Medina: Vic Fangio Continues Continues to Draw Praise and Is Clearly Among the Top Head Coaching Candidates - Bleacher Nation - Are you prepared to lose Vic Fangio? Because I'm not.

Jahns: Bears' success includes handling injuries well - Sun Times - Third-year safety Deon Bush and others are playing more for the Bears because of injuries.

Finley: Bears proclaim faith in Cody Parkey, but, 'if you’re our guy, make those kicks' - Sun Times - Among kickers with at least 15 attempts this season, he’s fourth from the bottom with a 75.9 conversion percentage.

Bears predictions: Week 17 vs. Vikings - Sun Times - The Sun-Times’ experts offer their picks for the Bears’ Week 17 game at the Vikings:

As Vikings face rematch with Bears, Kirk Cousins feels the pressure - Sun Times - This is the type of game for quarterback Kirk Cousins to make good on that $84 million in guaranteed money.

Kane: 7 things we heard from Bears coordinators, including how Vic Fangio feels fans’ enthusiasm and glimpses of Mitch Trubisky's growth - Chicago Tribune - Offensive coordinator Mark Helfrich liked several aspects of quarterback Mitch Trubisky’s 43-yard pass to wide receiver Allen Robinson in the first quarter Sunday against the 49ers.

Biggs: With Vic Fangio sure to be in demand, the Bears might need to think outside the box to keep the defensive mastermind - Chicago Tribune - Vic Fangio never has been hotter as a head-coaching candidate, and with at least six teams projected to have vacancies in the coming weeks, the Bears need to consider ways to keep the defensive coordinator.

Bear Download podcast: Will the matchup in Minnesota be a playoff preview? - Chicago Tribune - Welcome to the weekly Bear Download podcast. Listen below or subscribe and listen on iTunes | Spotify | Stitcher | Google Play Rich and Dan are still spreading holiday cheer as they preview the Bears’ regular-season finale against the Vikings. They assess the NFC playoff landscape (3:36), then...

Campbell: Prince Amukamara named 2018 Bears Media Good Guy - Chicago Tribune - Prince Amukamara was named the 2018 Media Good Guy by the Chicago chapter of the Pro Football Writers of America. The veteran cornerback has won Good Guy honors in Chicago and in 2015 as a member of the Giants.

Biggs: Bears Q&A: Which potential wild-card opponent would be most dangerous? - Chicago Tribune - Brad Biggs answers your Bears questions weekly. How should Matt Nagy handle the use of front-line players in Sunday's season finale in Minnesota? Which opponent would be most dangerous in the wild-card round? Does a lack of first-round picks in 2019 and 2020 hurt? Plus much more.

Wiederer: Kyle Long's recovery optimism, the Bears' playoff veterans and their Minneapolis misery - Chicago Tribune - As the Bears prepare to face the Vikings in the regular-season finale, we take a deeper look at Kyle Long's push to return from injured reserve, the playoff experience of a handful of current Bears and the team's recent struggles in Minneapolis.

Finley: Can Bears lean on RB Jordan Howard in the playoffs? - Chicago Sun-Times - Through the first 12 games of the season, Jordan Howard averaged 3.4 yards per carry. In the last four, he’s averaged 4.2.

Potash: Out of the spotlight, Leonard Floyd thriving in complementary role in Bears’ D - Chicago Sun-Times - After two years of being scrutinized for big plays, Floyd now is getting recognition for the little things. He was named a Pro Bowl alternate.

Finley: Bears injury update - WR Allen Robinson sits out again with sore ribs - Sun Times - For the second-straight day, receiver Allen Robinson sat out Thursday’s practice with sore ribs.

POLISH SAUSAGE

Marcus Mariota returns to Tennessee Titans practice - NFL.com - Tennessee Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota made a positive step Thursday toward playing in this weekend’s must-win game against the Indianapolis Colts.

QB Index, Week 17: Previewing offseason QB market - NFL.com - Which quarterbacks could be on the move this offseason? With the regular season in its final days, Gregg Rosenthal takes a peek at the veteran signal-callers who could be available in 2019.

KNOW THY ENEMY

Vikings injury report update: Linval Joseph, Mike Remmers return - Daily Norseman - Who was in and who was out for the Vikings on Thursday?

Priefer: Marcus Sherels to miss game against the Bears - Daily Norseman - And that leaves the Vikings with a pretty significant hole

NFL Week 17: Daily Norseman On The Bear Front Podcast - Daily Norseman - Previewing Sunday’s pivotal game with a Chicago-based podcast.

Aaron Rodgers’ upside down splits illustrate Packers’ third-down issues - Acme Packing Company - Every metric seems to tell the same story: The Packer offense is outdated.

Week 17 stakes are very high for the Rams – ProFootballTalk - A month ago, the Rams seemed to be coasting toward the top seed in the NFC, after securing a 54-51 win over the Chiefs in one of the best regular-season games of all time.

What would a Matthew Stafford trade actually look like in 2019? 2020? - Pride Of Detroit - Is it even possible in 2019? 2020?

NFL Week 17 Power Rankings: What every team has to play for in their season finale - Pride Of Detroit - There are still a few playoff spots up for grabs as we enter the final week of the season.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT ON WINDY CITY GRIDIRON

Zeglinski: The Chicago Bears’ 2019 schedule of opponents is set - Windy City Gridiron - We know who the Bears will play next season, just not in what order and when. Oh boy is it a doozy.

Curl & Berckes 2018 NFL Chicago Bears Blither-Blather: Holiday Special - Windy City Gridiron - In this edition of the increasingly-popular Bears Blither-Blather segment, we discuss Wham! Bears playoff opponents, Trubisky, and an untapped market for James Williams jerseys

Infante: 2019 NFL Draft - Potential Bears targets playing in the New Year’s Six - Windy City Gridiron - Even though the Bears will be focused more on the playoffs than the draft this year, it’s always fun to take a look ahead at this year’s prospects.

Mitchell's Cold Takes: A Look At The Chicago Bears’ Sloppy Win At San Francisco - Windy City Gridiron - Things look a bit different when you set emotions aside and go back and watch the tapes a couple of times...

Householder's Week 17 Game preview: Chicago Bears vs. Minnesota Vikings - Windy City Gridiron - The regular season finale has plenty of storylines and isn’t the end of the season story for the Bears

WCG CONTRIBUTORS BEARS PODCASTS & STREAMS

2 Minute Drill - Website - iTunes - Andrew Link; Steven’s Streaming – Twitch – Steven Schweickert; T-Formation Conversation - Website - iTunes - Lester Wiltfong, Jr.; WCG Radio - Website - iTunes - Robert Zeglinski

THE RULES

Windy City Gridiron Community Guidelines - SBNation.com - We strive to make our communities open and inclusive to sports fans of all backgrounds. The following is not permitted in comments. No personal attacks, politics, gender based insults of any kind, racial insults, etc.

The Bear’s Den Specific Guidelines – The Bear’s Den is a place for Chicago Bears fans to discuss Chicago Bears football, related NFL stories, and general football talk. It is NOT a place to discuss religion or politics or post political pictures or memes. Unless otherwise stated, the Den is not an open thread, and profanity (including profanity only stated in pictures) is prohibited.

Click on our names to follow us on Twitter:

WCG Contributors: Jeff Berckes; Patti Curl; Eric Christopher Duerrwaechter; Kev H; Sam Householder; Jacob Infante; Aaron Lemming; Ken Mitchell; Steven Schweickert; Jack Silverstein; EJ Snyder; Lester Wiltfong, Jr.; Whiskey Ranger; Robert Zeglinski; Like us on Facebook.

Source: https://www.windycitygridiron.com/2018/12/28/18158554/chicago-bears-2018-season-news-updates-analysis-game-sixteen-minnesota-vikings

[noprepracing]

Modest to say the least, Brad Eglian is a true blue car guy. Growing up in Alexandria Kentucky, Brad came from a long line of car enthusiasts. Their vehicles varied from the Chevrolet Vega, Pontiac GTO, and a 1967 Chevy Camaro. Brad’s first car was a 1987 IROC Z Camaro, which he still has. Although it has no motor in it, but plans on bringing it back to life. About 15 years ago Brad bought the 1994 Chevy Lumina that we all know today. He loves the fact that not many people see this type of car at racing events. People approach him all the time sharing their stories of nostalgia with these vehicles. The stories were mostly based on owning one or having family that did (this writer’s mother even owned one). While he was bracket racing in the quick 8s, he received a call from Dean”Stinky Pinky” Karns, and was asked if he was interested in street racing. Brad used to race the Camaro all the time, but this time he decided to give it a shot with his Lumina, affectionately known as Luminasty. After being in two successful episodes of Street Outlaws, he was then asked to go to Bristol by the producers of the show. He thoroughly enjoyed it and from there his driving career spiraled upward. He was then invited to be part of Street Outlaws- No Prep Kings and reports of having an “absolute blast doing it all”. “All went well and we are starting season 3, I hope they have me in it. I just spent a lot of money updating my car.” Because of his bracket racing days, Brad prefers the track over street racing. He loves how the fans can be more involved at the track. Street racing however is a whole other animal for him. It brings an entirely different level of adrenaline that he loves. His favorite track is Galot Motorsports in Dunn North Carolina because of its super clean and smooth track surface. This season Brad is in the top 10 in points, and wants to keep climbing the stats ladder. He has a 632 cubic inch BES nitrous engine, which is different from the usual 900-plus cubic inch engines out there running the same as he is. He did just build a new 822ci engine with 3 kits on it. This should be able to make 2500 plus horsepower. But Brad being the upstanding gentleman that he is, he would rather his car do the talking. “I just keep updating the car, making it newer and better, and it seems to be working out well for us, and I like it”. Brad explains about his recent updates to the Lumina. These include a new Outlaw Powerglide transmission from BTE transmissions, building a double frame rail to the chassis as well as reinforcing a few other chassis areas. Brad knows with this much power in a car, it needs to have that much more strength and rigidity to hold it together. His goals are to make the car as safe and as strong as possible so that it can handle the increase of power from the engine. Brad grew up around racing, he would watch the NHRA. He especially loved watching Pro Stock drivers such as Bob Glidden and Warren Johnson. Now Brad admires drivers like Mike Murillo, who are extremely successful, while still remaining humble and approachable. Although Brad says Mike needs to look out, because he’s not far behind and coming for his spot. This fun, family based group is just the kind of drivers the fans adore. Brad is so proud to have the fans that he does; they make all the hard work worth it for him. There are times that the team loses money, going to races, but that doesn’t stop him. He and his friend Brad “where’s my $20?” Fasse, have been known to purchase bundles of Hot Wheels cars for each race just to hand out to the kids that come over to his pit. If there is time he even lets the kids sit in the car for a bit. He and the crew love making it a family affair. “We always say, you never know letting that kid sit in the seat, may have just changed their life. That’s our future drag racers”. “Here [drag racing] I finally fit in, I wasn’t the coolest guy in high school. I’m just a Kentucky hillbilly who likes to drag race”, Brad, again proving of his downhome roots. He is not only a driver, but a husband, and father to two children. Both of his kids (10 year old daughter and 13 year old son) race junior dragsters. Being both dad and pit-crew for them, he appreciates all the hard work his crew goes through to help him out daily. His wife is also a huge part of this racing family. Even for her birthday he took her to the track, he knew then she was a keeper. They make a great team together, on both his and his children’s race programs. This year, Brad plans on coming for everyone. “There’s going to be a learning curve to it all, but we’ll get it.” Brad also has a firm moto of “doing more with less”, words that touch deep to those every day grinders out there, trying to make their way. As for his T.V. persona vs everyday Brad, he’s the same quiet guy and has the car do most of the talking. Just because the cameras are on doesn’t mean he’s someone else. If given the chance, check Brad and Luminasty out the next race you go to, bring the kids and hope there are some Hot Wheels left for you.

The post Brad Eglian – “Small town drag racer reaches new heights” appeared first on No Prep Racing NoPrep.com.

[closetofanxiety]

Nitromare: Three men make a terrible decision

I haven’t been posting here much because Hakujinjoe is visiting from Japan and we’re roaming around New England. For some reason, we decided to watch every episode of Monday Nitro during the Vince Russo-Ed Ferrara Era, starting with the very first one on October 18, 1999. Mark has joined us on this terrible journey, as he is not afraid to endure the worst 1990s TV wrestling had to offer. Let’s dive in, shall we?

The episode, airing from Philadelphia, starts with a limo arriving, a Vince Russo favorite. A bunch of suits get out, followed by Sid Vicious. They walk toward the arena with expressions of grim purpose.

Inside, we get a good cruiserweight match between Juventud Guerrera and Evan Karagias that is interrupted by Bret Hart, who comes out to complain that “politics in the back” have kept him from wrestling Hulk Hogan. This promo is interrupted by Sting, who comes out and offers Bret a world title shot, but not before saying, “I got your legacy right here” and doing a crotch chop. 

There’s a two-minute match between Disco Inferno and Vampire that ends with Disco getting a clean pin, then getting attacked by Lash Laroux. Heenan and Schiavone are on commentary and this is still definitively a wrestling show, but cracks are starting to show.

In the ring, there’s some kind of Nitro Girls competition happening, in which a new Nitro Girl will be chosen. The contestants are Chiquita and Stacy Keibler, and we see b-roll of them dancing suggestively. I think both ended up as Nitro Girls, but this segment is interrupted by Buff Bagwell, who comes out in a pair of overalls painted like a Kriss Kross video in 1990. He cuts a promo in which he repeats “Buff is the stuff” half a dozen times, dances awkwardly, and leaves. 

The Vince Russo Era has truly begun.

Some crowd signs: “No One Gives a Damn What the Rock Says”; “WWF = Wrestling White Trash Federation”; “Rey Misterio Bronco Buster ME”; “Rap is Crap!”; “Nash is God”; “Sid Fears the Spear”; “Sid Sucks”; “Velcro Despencers” [sic]; “Sid Your Next” [sic]; “Goldberg Philly is Next”; “Sting Rules”; “The Outsiders Are the Real Deal”; “Drunk 24:7″; “I See Dead People”; “Stone Cold Smokes the Pole”; “Hogan = Homo”; “Jebroni” [sic]; “Austin Sleeps With Sheep”; “Goldberg the Last True Hero”

Tag team championship match: Konnan and an unmasked Rey Misterio Jr. vs champs Harlem Heat. There’s decent wrestling, with Rey in particular hitting a beeyootiful  springboard moonsault, but Vince and Ed cannot abide a mere wrestling match, so Eddie Guerrero, Billy Kidman, and Torrie Wilson come out to talk on commentary for some reason. No one is calling the match, but it’s good. Rey looks like a child without his mask. Actually, with the dyed blonde hair, he looks exactly like his son, Dominic, whose custody he would later battle for in a ladder match. Stevie Ray hits the slowest, sloppiest power slam I have ever seen in a professional wrestling match. Eddie and Kidman interfere, then Rey and Konnan cheat to win the titles. NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPS. This is fine. The Filthy Animals were supposed to be cheating heels.

Kimberly Page is looking for someone backstage and is talking flirtatiously to David Flair, a man who does not want to be on television. It’s incredible how poorly suited he was for this. “David Flair looks like some guy they pulled out of the audience, like he’s shocked to be there,” Joe notes. “Like some college guy who just got out of a party.” Not since Mike Von Erich has a member of a wrestling family been so visibly unsuited for wrestling.

HELL YES. IT’S MENG TIME. Meng is wrestling Bill DeMott, who is still in his Hugh Morrus persona, but now he’s SERIOUS and Jimmy Hart is his manager. Morrus headbutts Meng, which is a bad choice. As the match proceeds, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash walk down the arena steps, so the entire crowd stops paying attention to what’s happening the ring. This is a hallmark of Vince Russo’s philosophy: just constantly have things interrupted by other things. Meng wins with the Tongan Death Grip, but the crowd doesn’t care. Hall and Nash are sitting ringside with two women Heenan describes as “beautiful dolls.”

Sid comes out to the ring and then calls his “attorneys” to join him. The crowd boos the attorneys. The crowd chants “Goldberg” while Sid uncorks a Vintage. Halting. Promo. With. Lots. Of. Jumbled. Shouting. “I. Am. A. Man. Of. My. Word. I. Am. A. Man. Of. Integrity” Sid says, a sentiment that many 21st century indie promoters will have reason to dispute. Goldberg runs out and absolutely flattens one of the actors playing a lawyer. Just fucking kills the guy. Sid lays Goldberg out with a kick and then power bombs him. The crowd is livid. This is a good setup for Halloween Havoc, because people are booing the heel and want to see him get his ass kicked. This is good wrestling booking. I can give credit where it’s due.

At ringside, Hall and Nash are laughing at Goldberg, who mushes them both. There’s a pull apart. Someone in the crowd throws a roll of toilet paper, because hey, Philadelphia. The Outsiders are led from the arena by security. A fresh-faced kid of perhaps 13 runs down to try and get Hall and Nash to Too Sweet him; a 1999 Internet fan. We watch a long tracking shot of Hall and Nash being led through the Spectrum, or whatever the Philly arena was called at this point. It’s almost artistic it’s so tedious. JJ Dillon appears for a split second, looking like a man who is rethinking the last 18 months of his decisions.

Backstage, Mike Tenay interviews Bret Hart, who cuts a good, standard wrestling promo, although he keeps calling the company “the WCW.” The interview is interrupted by Sting jumping Hart in the locker room, which is badly out of character. 

Now Berlyn comes out with his bodyguard, The Wall. Get it? Beryln and the Wall? God, was anyone in WCW more ill-served by the writers than Alex Wright? He was a good wrestler with a good look, who was given absolutely nothing to work with. Come to think of it, that also describes Brad Armstrong. Tonight, Berlyn will be wrestling the Dogface Gremlin himself, Rick Steiner, who looks as excited to be here as someone attending family court. It’s weirdly compelling how little Rick Steiner cares about this match. Why should he care? This match is going to be interrupted, and it is, by Brad Armstrong! Speak of the devil. Jesus, poor Brad Armstrong. He hates Berlyn, but his interference accidentally costs Steiner the match, and Steiner beats up Armstrong with a lazy, unhurried disinterest. 

We’re back in the bowels of the Spectrum, where Hall and Nash have sneaked back in. They wander around looking for Goldberg. They’re good at sneaking, what with this camera crew following them.

Now we’re at a hotel, and Kimberly page comes inside and then disrobes to a one-piece lingerie set. Instead of DDP, though, Ric Flair jumps out of the bathroom and tells Kimberly, “Tonight you gonna get the 14-time spanking your daddy shoulda given you a long time ago.” 

Now we’re backstage, and Goldberg, prowling the Spectrum, lays out Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope from Insane Clown Posse, which, as Joe notes, gets the biggest pop of the night. 

Now we’re at a different part of the backstage area, and Lex Luger and Miss Elizabeth are being interviewed, the knowledge we have now making this hard to watch. Lex cuts a halting, awkward promo about how he is, indeed, the total package. 

David Flair comes out in his father’s robe, to his father’s music, with all the pomp and circumstance of an unemployed guy walking outside to get the mail. He’ll be wrestling Billy Kidman, who comes out with Torrie Wilson. Four years after this, they would be married. The crowd hates David Flair’s awkward offense so much. Flair sucks so bad at this. Flair does sell the Shooting Star Press convincingly, probably because he was legitimately terrified and hurt by it. Kidman wins, and the Filthy animals come out to beat on Flair. Wikipedia tells me David Flair never wanted to be a wrestler, which sounds about right. 

Now we’re backstage for the Hall and Nash Snoop Hour. They run into Gene Okerlund, who looks bored and disgusted. 

Now we’re backstage, but in a different part, and Ric Flair is here, presumably having had sex with Kimberly Page despite her original desire to have sex with her husband. When I was growing up I had an issue of Playboy with Kimberly Page in it, which was a revelation for a WWF fan like myself. 

Now we’ve got an evening gown match featuring Mona - better known as Molly Holly - and Madusa, who is disgusted by the stipulation AND THAT’S PROBABLY A SHOOT BROTHER. This starts off fast, with some actual wrestling and some crisp suplexes from both women. “The last time I saw two women in dresses fighting like that was at Bloomingdale’s at the end of the month sale,” Brain says, beaming in from 1964. Madusa takes out the ref with a missed kick and then hits a beautiful suplex on Mona. Mona sneaks up from behind and pulls Madusa’s dress off. The crowd boos. None of us wanted this. Madusa gets the mic to cut a promo, saying everyone can kiss her ass. 

Backstage. Sting is pacing back and forth. Bret is heading out to the ring. Hart, maybe the best pure wrestler of his generation, was so badly misused by WCW. It’s really a phenomenal story. How could you screw something like this up? But they did. Oh, boy, did they. 

People love Sting, and at this point they still love Bret, so this match is a dumb idea. In retrospect it seems insane that they had this match, with no buildup, on an episode of free TV, but that was kind of common in this era, in both companies. The match begins as a leisurely paced brawl until Bret gets the upper hand by getting the knees up to stuff the Vader Bomb, or whatever it was called when Sting did it. Bret takes over for a while, then Sting reverses an Irish whip and gets a Stinger Splash to get the upper hand. Nick Patrick is the referee, and is not wearing a belt. Is that common? It looks weird. How are you holding up your sensible black trousers, Nick Patrick? The crowd is firmly behind Sting, who hits the elbow drop and does that thing where he cups his hands over his mouth and yells. I would describe this match as Perfectly Fine. It’s a rung or three below what these guys are capable of, but it’s not bad. Bret hits an absolutely filthy piledriver, but Sting kicks out. Hart teases the Sharpshooter but doesn’t give the crowd what they want. After some futzing around, he finally locks it in, but Sting grabs the rope. Sting is selling the effect of the Sharpshooter very well, trying to get Hart up for a bodyslam but having his leg give out under him. Oh boy, an interruption: Miss Elizabeth comes out to the ring for some reason, followed shortly by a bat-wielding Lex Luger. Hart is forced to fight Luger and Hart. Luger hits Hart in the shin with a bat, enabling Sting to lock in the Scorpion Deathlock, to which Hart immediately taps out. That finish was not Perfectly Fine. 

Wait, that wasn’t the main event? We’re backstage. Ric is yelling at David Flair, who repeatedly mumbles “Billy Kidman beat me up.” It’s hard to believe these two men are related.

Backstage in a different part of the Spectrum. Hall and Nash are putting on lucha masks for some reason. They are still looking for Goldberg. 

We’re back to the ring, for La Parka. Have you heard that he’s having a career year in 2018? Well, in 1999, he was having the kind of year where he had to follow a 15-minute Bret Hart-Sting match by wrestling Buff Bagwell. The crowd is predictably dead. What would these men say if you told them that in less than 20 years, one would be a gigolo and the other would be having a career year in pro wrestling? They would probably correctly guess which one would be the gigolo. La Parka beats a visibly disinterested Buff with a roll-up. Then Buff gets on the headset and says, “Hey, Russo, did I do a good job for you? Who else is going to beat me? Why don’t you come out and beat me?” Then Jeff Jarrett, in a surprise arrival from WWF, runs out and kabongs Buff with a guitar shot. The crowd reacts at least. This was kind of a famous jump from WWF to WCW, after Jarrett held Vince up for a huge sum of money to drop the belt to Chyna after his contract expired. Jarrett grabs his dick, says, “You wanna talk about stroke, bitch?” and then walks to the back. This is painfully Russovian. 

After another painful Hall-Nash segment backstage, we’ve got Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Jr. vs. Perry Saturn in a three-way elimination match. Shane Douglas joins the commentary team and says he is “the guy that built Philadelphia and kept wrestling alive in this godforsaken city.” The crowd is oddly silent for a match featuring Perry Saturn. Saturn throws a beautiful array of suplays while the Guerreros bicker. Eddie suplexes Chavo outside the damn ring, a crazy bump. This is a good match. The crowd is totally bored, or maybe exhausted. On the hard camera side, two guys dressed like Hulk Hogan who been doing wacky dances all night sit down immediately when a leathery Philadelphia Guido comes over and visibly motherfucks them, jabbing his finger and yelling. Good for you, Guy Who Makes Me Think of Frank Rizzo, those guys were awful. We need an interruption, so the Filthy Animals come down for some reason. They beat up Saturn while Douglas, who has an arm in a cast, rages. “It’s a damn conspiracy here!” he yells. Eddie hits the frog splash on Saturn for the pin, and then Chavo Jr. hits a tornado DDT on his uncle to win. The crowd is confused and angry. The Filthy Animals storm the ring and beat up Chavo. No one cares. 

God, is there more to this episode? We are exhausted. It feels like we started watching this five hours ago. 

Oh God, Horace Hogan in a hardcore match? A WCW hardcore match in Philadelphia when ECW was still a living proposition. It’s going to be Horace vs. Norman Smiley. One of the Hogan impersonators is dancing again. Where is Frank Rizzo Guy when we need him? This match is boring and bad. Horace sets up a table and goes through it. Norman wins. No one cares.

WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END? Flair comes down to the ring. Ric, not David. Who cares where David is. Flair makes a somewhat tortuous analogy between himself and Bobby Clarke, the great thuggish Philadelphia Flyer from the 1970s. He talks about having sex with Kimberly Page earlier in the night. He compares his son, David, to Eric Lindros. A lot of hockey talk tonight. Flair says he drank the Guerrero Brothers under the table in every bar from Mexico to Philadelphia, a plausible claim. The Filthy Animals come out and beat on Flair, which the crowd hates. David runs out to help his dad, and also gets beat on. Rey Misterio hits the bronco buster on Ric Flair. Konnan rips off Flair’s shirt and takes his wallet. The Filthy Animals take Flair’s jewelry. “Well, it’s Philadelphia,” Heenan notes. 

Lex Luger stumbles on Miss Elizabeth, laid out in the women’s locker room, a broken guitar laying near her head. ELIAS? WAS THAT YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH??

Goldberg comes to the ring, accompanied by security guards, while the crowd chants for him. One of the all-time greatest entrances in wrestling history. Somehow, this - Goldberg vs. Lex - is the main event, rather than Sting vs. Bret Hart. Goldberg runs outside the ring to start the match on the entrance ramp. Big “Goldberg” chants. This match is already way too long for a Goldberg match. Waaaaay too long. The Outsiders wander out from the back. “The fight goes on and on,” Tony says, summing up this whole ordeal. Now Sting runs out of the back for some reason and hits Goldberg with a baseball bat. The crowd boos. Now Bret Hart runs out of the back and starts beating up Sting. This is such a disaster. The crowd is pelting the ring with cups of soda. Goldberg spears Lex Luger and wins. 

Grade: Pot Roast That Has Been Left In The Sun For Days.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, September 14

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Keanu Reeves -- love, loss and private pain 

Page 1: Big Pic -- Nina Dobrev and Shaun White in Mexico 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 3: Contents 

Page 4: Why Kim Kardashian forgave Kanye West -- recently on the brink of divorce Kim and Kanye solved their marital problems during a string of luxe vacations 

Page 6: After struggling through health woes and addiction issues and a breakup Matthew Perry has recently turned the corner -- the actor was really down on himself after he and talent agent Molly Hurwitz called it quits but the support of his friends and family has helped him rebuild his self-esteem 

Page 7: Demi Moore may be having a ball discussing female sexuality on her new podcast Dirty Diana but she has neglected her own love life for years why is why her daughters are stepping in because they really feel they need to do something because if it were up to their mom she’d be single forever, with election season in full swing Cher has started pondering whether she could succeed in the cutthroat world of politics -- she’s always had political aspirations and feels it’s never too late to do the right thing 

Page 8: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars shine in metallic frocks -- Charlize Theron, Isla Fisher, Laura Harrier 

Page 9: Angelina Jolie, Lucy Boynton 

Page 10: Who Wore It Better? Kristen Taekman vs. Bianca Peters vs. Keltie Knight 

Page 11: Olivia Culpo vs. Lindsey Vonn 

Page 17: News in Photos -- Kate Bosworth walks her dog Happy 

Page 18: Gregg Sulkin works out at a local park, Frankie Bridge poured herself a cocktail, Peta Murgatroyd and husband Maksim Chmerkovskiy having lunch 

Page 20: Wet & Wild -- celebs are keeping active by hitting the beach -- Dua Lipa and boyfriend Anwar Hadid, Zoe Saldana, Cara Delevingne and Jamie Mazur head down to the water while wearing wetsuits 

Page 24: Dale Moss of The Bachelorette exercising in NYC, Kristin Chenoweth took a break from recording in her new at-home studio, Kobe Bryant’s daughters Natalia and Capri out on a boat 

Page 25: Brooke Shields does an at-home workout, David Spade out to eat 

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Kane Brown is selling his Tennessee pad 

Page 28: Jennifer Aniston is busy planning a fun-filled trip with her best friends to Mexico for one last hurrah of the summer and her ex-husband Brad Pitt has scored an invite -- this is the perfect setting for them because they’ll have the opportunity to just go with the flow and catch up and hang out with a cool crowd of people and soak up the sunshine in a five-star resort away from the spotlight 

Page 29: Now that Luke Bryan’s two sons are about to enter their teen years he wants to have a third child but first he has to get wife Caroline on board with the idea, after nearly seven years together Gerard Butler has kicked jewelry designer Morgan Brown to the curb because Gerard sees himself as this huge A-lister and it’s important for him to have someone by his side who reflects his status and he’s hoping to once again snatch up someone who’ll boost his image but the offers aren’t exactly flooding in, now that Carrie Underwood is spending more time at home she’s been pestering husband Mike Fisher to take over more of the household chores -- she wants him to clean and pick up after himself because she hates seeing things untidy but Mike thinks she needs to chill out 

Page 30: Though Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock’s divorce seemed to be going smoothly the estranged spouses are now arguing over how to shuffle their two kids River and Remington back and forth between them, Kristen Bell is laying down the law with husband Dax Shepard after a motorcycle wreck left him with a shattered shoulder and four broken ribs -- they’re playing it down as a freak accident but Kristen’s read Dax the riot act about his lifestyle, Love Bites -- Rachel McAdams and boyfriend Jamie Linden are expecting their second child, Lea Michele and husband Zandy Reich welcomed their first child, Cara Santana and Thirty Seconds to Mars drummer Shannon Leto dating 

Page 32: Cover Story -- Keanu Reeves’ happily ever after -- Keanu and his girlfriend Alexandra Grant could soon start a family 

Page 36: Jennifer Garner lets loose -- single for the first time in years Jen is having a blast and getting in touch with her wild side 

Page 38: Given the Boot: Check out which big-name stars were axed from iconic movie roles -- Natalie Portman from Romeo + Juliet, Robert Downey Jr. from Gravity 

Page 39: Sylvester Stallone from Beverly Hills Cop, Eric Stoltz from Back to the Future, Julianne Moore from Can You Ever Forgive Me?, Ryan Gosling from The Lovely Bones 

Page 40: Sarah Paulson is set to star as a psychopathic nurse in the new show Ratched 

Page 42: Award-Worthy Bodies -- Jennifer Aniston, Christina Applegate, Tracee Ellis Ross 

Page 43: Issa Rae, Kerry Washington, Rachel Brosnahan 

Page 46: Style Week -- Madelaine Petsch for Fablectics’ limited-edition collection collection of next-level fitness wear 

Page 50: Statement-making puff-sleeve blouses -- Kaitlyn Dever 

Page 52: Lauren Conrad launches a beauty line 

Page 54: Entertainment 

Page 58: Buzz -- Prince Harry and Meghan Markle made their way down to Knox Elementary School in South L.A. to take part in a charitable drive-thru event put together by Baby2Baby

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Mayim Bialik on her ‘90s style, Joe Manganiello when asked if he’d return for a third Magic Mike flick, Mandy Moore on being 36 years old, Kevin Hart revealing he tested positive for COVID-19 in March, Steve Carell on filming his last episode of The Office 

Page 62: Horoscope -- Virgo Michelle Williams turned 40 on September 9

[365footballorg-blog]

Fantasy: It is all about value for Week 24

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August 10, 20183:03PM EDT

Reid, Mike, and Blayne are joined by Patreon Supporter and former league champion Jessup Gage to break down everything that happened in the first week of the 2018 Fall Fantasy season. They start out with a short recap but quickly get sidelined by a discussion about the red cards in Houston and then jump feet first into the first reactions to the price and budget changes for the Fall season. Things get back on track with after that with the injury review, a team by team breakdown of Round 24, and this the big reveal of HOW WIEBE DID in our league! The discussions make this episode long, but they are definitely worth it!

We’re only one week into the Fall Fantasy Season and it’s picking up right where Spring left off. Highlights from Round 23 include a few clean sheets, shocking comebacks, and multiple red cards. This helped many players see a value increase, but we still have a long way to go before we can field a full team of marquee players. This means that value will once again play a big role in player selection and below are some of my top value players for Round 24.

Double-game Week: None

Teams on a Bye: Atlanta United

Keepers

Brad Stuver makes a save against the Red Bulls. | USA Today Sports Images

Budget Watch: Finding value among the top keepers will be very hard as they all fall within a similar price range. However, if you’re willing to take a chance on a road team, then consider New York City FC’s Brad Stuver ($ 4.8) who is filling in for the injured Sean Johnson ($ 6). His chance for a clean sheet against Toronto FC Sunday (4 pm ET | ESPN, TSN – Full TV & Streaming info) is questionable as he allowed a couple of goals last week, but let’s be honest, this pick is all about moving money into you attack.

Keeperoo Pick: If you’re willing to invest in a potent keeper pairing this week, then start the week with Zack Steffen ($ 6.0) of Columbus Crew SC on your bench. His game against Houston Saturday (7:30 pm ET | TV & Streaming info) offers a shot at a clean sheet as the Dynamo just went 120 minutes during Wednesday’s U.S. Open Cup semifinal win over LAFC and will be without three starters. If that does not pan out, switch your field keeper for Portland’s Jeff Attinella ($ 6.5). His match against Vancouver Saturday (11 pm ET | TV & Streaming info) offers another clean sheet opportunity and the Timbers are still undefeated at home.

Defenders

Julio Cascante wins the ball against Montreal. | USA Today Sports Images

Rock Bottom: If you’re looking for one of the absolute cheapest starting defenders then stick with Real Salt Lake’s Aaron Herrera ($ 4.5). He’s been in the starting lineup in each of RSL’s last three games and has earned one clean sheet during this time. He’s also an excellent bench autoroo option on Saturday (10 pm ET | TV & streaming info) as Montreal have only scored road goals in two of their last six away games.

Value Building: As I already mentioned, increasing your team value should play a large part when making your player picks this week, but why not also go for big points at the same time with Portland’s Julio Cascante ($ 6.0). His price increased by $ 500K last round and his three and five-week average suggests that he’ll see another rise in Round 24. His game against Vancouver also has one of the best clean sheet chances of the week.

Midfielders

Luciano Acosta looks for space against Colorado. | USA Today Sports Images

On Form Value: D.C. United have been one of my favorite sources of value midfielders all season. They have several sub $ 9m players who frequently put up good numbers and the addition of Wayne Rooney has helped pull pressure away from their playmakers. This week, my favorite option is Luciano Acosta ($ 8.5). He’s scored one goal in each of his last two games and should have more opportunities for points Saturday (8 pm ET | TV & streaming info) against an Orlando defense that has been horrible on the road.   

Lineup Watch: One of the under-the-radar players to take note of from Round 23 is Sporting Kansas City’s Gianluca Busio ($ 5m). This was his first start of the 2018 season and he made a big impact by providing the game winning assist in the second half. This result could earn him another start this week when SKC travels to face LAFC Saturday (10:30 pm ET | TV & streaming info) and his low price makes him an easy player to add to your bench. Just keep an eye on the starting lineup.

Forwards

Gyasi Zardes converts a penalty kick vs. Montreal. | USA Today Sports Images

Home Value: Several of the top forwards saw price rises prior to the start of the Fall season, but one who remains very reasonably priced is Columbus’ Gyasi Zardes ($ 8.5). He’s scored in almost every home game for the Crew this season and has an excellent chance at multiple goals as Houston will be missing two key defensive players due to red cards.

Welcome Back: I know my focus is value this week, but if there is one premium player worth splurging on, it’s LA Galaxy’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic ($ 11.0). He’s scored a staggering 11 goals over his last nine games and could easily score a brace against Minnesota Saturday (10:30 pm ET | TV & streaming info) as the Loons have been hemorrhaging road goals recently. This potentially makes Zlatan a “must have” for Round 24 and a top captain option.

WHICH PLAYERS are you considering for Round 24?

FOR MORE fantasy advice, be sure to check out the articles and charts posted at MLSFantasyBoss.com.

Stay Connected: To get all the latest Fantasy news and advice, download the MLS app and sign up for MLS Fantasy notifications. To sign up for notifications, select the main menu, then choose settings. Within the settings menu, select News & Videos notifications and turn on notifications for “Fantasy Soccer.”

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Fantasy: It is all about value for Week 24 was originally published on 365 Football

[watchingthesuperbowl]

Notes taken during Super Bowl XXXVII

PREGAME

This recording appears to include the entire ABC pregame show. They've added Kid Rock to the Hank Williams Jr. intro song. Gross.

81 degrees and sunny in San Diego.

Al Michaels and John Madden! I'd forgotten that Madden ever worked for ABC.

Michaels: Raiders feature 37 year old Rod Woodson, 40 year old Jerry Rice, and 37 year old Rich Gannon.

Michaels: Raiders called one running play in first three quarters of AFC championship game. Can they do that today? Madden: They can and I think they have to.

Madden: Rich Gannon has to make some plays with his feet.

Raiders Pro-Bowl center Barrett Robbins won't play today. What's the story? Melissa Stark: He disappeared, nobody could find him. Eventually they did find him. It's not clear where he is - maybe went home, but some reports say he's in the hospital. (He was in the hospital with a manic episode as a result of previously undiagnosed bipolar disorder.)

Terminator-style into starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

ABC shows preproduced season wraps for the Buccaneers and Raiders - this is how the two teams got here. It seems like maybe they played them in the stadium? Can't tell. Either way, neither team has its players introduced individually.

Lynn Swann to John Lynch: What's it like to play in the Super Bowl in your hometown? Lynch: It's a dream come true. Extra special.

Celine Dion performs God Bless America. They got a Canadian to do this?!? What the hell?

Now the Dixie Chicks perform the Star Spangled Banner. If someone took a knee while the Dixie Chicks sang this song, the American right would spontaneously combust.

Coin toss. Hall of Famers from the '72 Dolphins. Don Shula tosses it. Raiders call heads. It's tails. Buccaneers will receive.

FIRST QUARTER

Buccaneers have never returned a kickoff for a touchdown, in the regular season or postseason.

And they still haven't. Aaron Stecker takes it to the 26.

First play, play-action pass to Alstott. Charles Woodson smashes into him with his helmet. Gain of 3.

“Charles Woodson. Fremont Ross Little Giants.”

Third down, an absolutely horrendous throw from Brad Johnson. Ah, he got hit as he threw it. Not Johnson's fault. It floats tantalizingly through the air until Woodson picks it off. Raiders take over at the Tampa Bay 36.

Raider drive stalls when Simeon Rice goes almost entirely unblocked on third down. Sacks Gannon. Forces a 40 yard field goal attempt by Janikowski. It's good. 3-0 Oakland.

Stecker "fumbles" during the tackle on the ensuing kickoff return. Oakland recovers. It didn't even look close to me. He was down for days before the ball came out. What a horrible call. Tampa is challenging the call, which...yeah. Replay shows I'm not blind or crazy. He could have grilled up some burgers in the time between the tackle and the "fumble".

Teams only got two challenges at this point, even if they were correct in challenging. That's unbelievably stupid. You're punishing teams for calling you on your incompetence.

Brad Johnson pass hits Michael Pittman in the hands, bounces, rolls on his helmet, and falls incomplete.

Madden: Buccaneers seem nervous. Jon Gruden wants this to be a high-speed game, but maybe his team isn't ready for that yet.

A couple of throws from Johnson to Joe Jurevicius underneath and the Bucs are across midfield. Oakland's defensive coordinator was worried about Jurevicius in the leadup to this game.

Now a huge run from Michael Pittman. A pitch left and Mike Alstott throws a great block to spring him. Alstott took out the contain guy. Bucs now on the Oakland 14.

Michaels: Commissioner says there might not be another Super Bowl here if they don't build a new stadium. They should have the Super Bowl in San Diego every year. Yeah, well, about that, Al...

Bucs stall at the 14. Martin Gramatica does the honors and it's a tie game.

Bump in from commercial: Bill Romanowski on how hard it is to win a Super Bowl ring. Yeah, Bill, it's tough. You've only won four of them.

Coming up at halftime: Shania Twain, No Doubt, and Sting.

Madden: Oakland center Adam Treu is a good player. Maybe not as big or strong as the mysteriously missing Barret Robbins, but it's not a big dropoff between the two.

Raiders go three-and-out. Greg Spires sacks him on third down. Shane Lechler will boot it away. Great kick, fair caught at the 15.

Michaels: Both teams are trying to run a hurry up, but it's been awkwardly paced. Offenses are trying to go up-tempo but not able to move the ball.

Johnson pass hits Alstott in the hands and it bounces away. Lands in the middle of four Raiders. A very fortunate incomplete pass.

Michaels: We've played nine minutes and had 22 minutes. It's like we're in mud here.

Now the Bucs go three and out. We've got some very fast-paced punts.

Madden: These quick possessions will hurt Tampa defense, which is undersized and can be worn down if it's not able to rest.

ABC has a microphone on Jerry Rice. They play a conversation between Rice and Jerry Porter (a Raiders WR) on the bench saying they'd like to see if the Bucs can stop a power run game. They can rush the passer, but can they stop the run?

The Buccaneers defense does well enough against the run. Another three and out. Two runs up the middle for six yards and an incomplete pass on third down. Another Lechler punt, another fair catch near the Tampa Bay 15.

Michaels: If this game was a script, it would be a pilot that never made it to air. They'll have to go off script and start ad-libbing soon.

A quick slant from Brad Johnson to Keyshawn Johnson. They give him the damn ball for 15 or so.

Next play, Johnson lofts a ball downfield that's nearly picked off by Woodson. He's had some shaky throws early. Probably should have been intercepted.

Brad Johnson: 4-12, 50 yards, 1 INT

Cutaway: Buccaneers backup QB Rob Johnson. As a Bills fan, I begin to twitch a bit.

*shudder*

Buccaneers punt once again. Tom Tupa. So that's neat. Nice return from Darrien Gordon to the Raider 49.

Madden: Buccaneers are as good at tackling as anybody in football.

Madden: Gruden emphasized to defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin that they absolutely have to stop RB Charlie Garner.

Third down, Gannon scrambling and it's picked off by Dexter Jackson. He read the quarterback's eyes. One play later, the first quarter ends. 3-3 tie.

SECOND QUARTER

Third and 9, Raiders jump offside but it doesn't matter. Brad Johnson to Keyshawn for a first down. Bucs nearing field goal range.

Brad to Keyshawn again underneath. Bucs running a bunch formation and Keyshawn sits in between linebackers in a zone. Now Alstott carries to the 22. Tampa Bay is moving the ball nicely now.

Bucs stall again. Brad Johnson throws to the end zone on 3rd and 8 and isn't close. It's field goal time. Gramatica from 43 yards away. Got it. 6-3 Buccaneers.

Gannon pumps left and throws deep right. Picked off again by Dexter Jackson! Returns it to the Raiders' 45 yards line. Once again, he just read the quarterback's eyes.

Madden: Cornerback Ronde Barber blitzed on the interception. Gannon probably thought he had man defense with no safety. He thought wrong.

Brad Johnson: You'd love to be in a disco with Jon Gruden as the DJ. Oooohkay.

Buccaneers don't do anything and will punt from the Oakland 40. Tim Brown fair catches at the Oakland 10.

ABC graphic: Opposing quarterbacks vs. Tampa have a 48.4 QB rating.

Incomplete pass, Raiders go three and out. Karl Williams returns the punt inside the Oakland 30.

Big run for Pittman on Second and 4, gets inside the 5. It's now first and goal.

Warren Sapp in the game, playing on the left side of the offensive line.

Mike Alstott plows his way into the end zone on second and goal. Blasts right through the middle of the line. 13-3 Buccaneers.

Bump-in from commercial: Warren Sapp talking about winning the Super Bowl.

Madden: You have to be able to tackle to play for the Bucs. If you're a "cover" cornerback, you can't play for this team.

Charlie Garner drops an easy pass on first down.

Michaels: Raiders are on their seventh possession of the day. Have gained a total of 39 yards. Have had five straight three-and-outs.

And they break that streak. Complete a pass on third down.

But the Raiders can't get across midfield. Tim Brown drops a third down pass and Lechler will boot it away again.

Michaels: Buccaneers tried to hire Bill Parcells, then he said no, so they worked on getting Gruden from the Raiders, but the Raiders wanted too much, so they tried Nick Saban and Ralph Friedgen and Steve Mariucci, but couldn't hire them, so finally went and did the deal for Gruden. If Gruden doesn't get the job, what do they do? Do they hire a coach on Monster dot com? Madden: That's why the Glazer family had to do the deal. They'd have been embarrassed.

To get Gruden, Bucs sent Raiders 2002 first and second round picks, 2003 first round pick, 2004 second round pick, and $8 million. Looking it up, those draft picks were used on Daniel Graham, Langston Walker, Tyler Brayton, and Jake Grove. Not a huge haul, though the Buccaneers wouldn't have drafted the exact same players.

Big run for Pittman up the middle. They pick up a Raiders blitz and Pittman has a massive hole. He gains 9 yards. Now a quick pass to Mike Alstott, who gets out near midfield as we reach the two minute warning.

Pittman has 72 yards in the first half. Fourth-best first half of all time in terms of rushing yardage.

Second down, Keyshawn Johnson makes a nice sliding catch at the 20. Third and 1, well inside field goal range. 0:46 left in the half.

Alstott picks up the first down on the Bucs' 42nd play of the first half. That's a ton in the NFL, particularly for a ball control team.

Michaels: Warren Sapp says the first guy he'll go visit if he wins the Super Bowl is Tony Dungy.

A quick pass outside to Mike Alstott. Gets the first down and stops the clock. First and goal from the 5. 0:34 left and one timeout.

They won't need that timeout. Johnson to McCardell, a great back-shoulder throw in the end zone. Charles Woodson had no chance. 20-3 Buccaneers. 0:30 left in the first half.

Zero chance for Woodson to do anything but watch.

Total yards: 198-58 in favor of Tampa Bay.

Madden: Bucs are having end-of-game type celebrations, not end-of-half.

Great kick return coverage again. Three yard kickoff return for the Raiders on a bouncing kickoff.

Bucs DB John Lynch to assistant coach Mike Tomlin: "Every play they've run, we ran in practice. It's unreal." Michaels: That's what happens when your coach was their coach.

Buccaneers call a timeout. It's third down with 0:13 left in the half. Gruden is going to make the Raiders either run out the clock or pass the ball.

Madden: Gruden is trying to set up a free kick after the punt, but he'll need the Raiders to throw an incomplete pass. That does not happen. They run up the middle and it's halftime. Tampa Bay 20, Oakland 3.

Raiders coach Bill Callahan: "We've hurt ourself in the first half with the sacks and the turnovers...it's a matter of composure right now."

Bucs coach Jon Gruden: "This is who we are...this is the kind of football we play...we've gotta do what we've been doing."

HALFTIME

Chris Berman, Steve Young, Michael Strahan, Brian Billick.

Billick: Raiders couldn't have expected this kind of pass rush. They're having to keep tight ends and backs in to block. Messing up their offense.

Young: Raiders have tried just about everything, but they don't have the speed to deal with this defense.

Berman: Is it out of reach for Oakland? What does Bill Callahan tell them? Billick: You tell them they're the best offense in football and they can do this. Strahan: Raiders can't give up, have to go hard on every play. Young: It's going to take a freak play or something to get Oakland into the game.

Halftime show. Another Canadian. Shania Twain. Obviously lip synching. I mean, I guess it's fine if you want to watch Shania Twain dance around and act like she's singing. I'm watching it because I watch these recordings from start to finish, but this ain't my thing, man. Not for me. Now she's being followed by a dude with a keytar and a guy with one of those, like, double guitars. That's fun. Oh,. neat, now she's not even moving her mouth. She can't be bothered to fake it, at least for a few seconds.

Dude. You cannot look cool with a keytar, no matter how hard you try. So don’t try.

Okay, here's No Doubt. This might not be lip synched. It sounds noticeably different from the album. "Just A Girl". Now Sting is here to perform. He does a Police song (Message in a Bottle), which means that Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers are probably throwing stuff at their TV. Gwen Stefani takes the second verse. Now it's a duet. If this is lip synched, it's a terrible recording. Their voices absolutely do not work together.

Scoreboard is flashing "SOS" during the "Sending out an SOS" ending of the song. Ooooohkay. I guess you can do that. If you want. I wouldn't. But you do you.

Berman: "The sting has been on the Raiders' offense." No, Chris. Stop it.

Raiders had three first downs in the first half. Three. This was the number one offense in football.

Michaels: How does Oakland get into this game? Madden: They need a big play. Maybe their offense, could be their defense or special teams. Doesn't really matter. But they need something to change the momentum.

Michaels: Bengals lost Super Bowl after Stanley Wilson went AWOL, Falcons lost Super Bowl after Eugene Robinson was arrested. Raiders are missing Barret Robbins. Does that affect them psychologically? Madden: No, I don't think so. People will say that if Tampa Bay wins this game, but they have Jerry Rice and Tim Brown and Rod Woodson and Charles Woodson. These guys are pros. They aren't losing because Adam Treu is at center, I'll tell you that much. In the first half, the Bucs just whipped themselves.

Melissa Stark: Raiders are going to open their playbook. Will double-team Warren Sapp more and help out left tackle Frank Middleton.

Lynn Swann: Gruden says more of the same in the second half. Will pound the football. Defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin says they have to continue to get pressure on Rich Gannon.

THIRD QUARTER

Raiders get the ball. Decent enough kickoff return, out to the Oakland 27.

Madden: Callahan likes to start games with confidence-builder passes for Rich Gannon. The problem is, they didn't work in the first half.

Three and out. Again. Lechler to punt. Again.

Bucs get called for an illegal block in the back on a fair catch. Oof.

Michaels: There's a no-fly zone for miles around the stadium. John, this is your dream come true! Madden, laughing: You're right! People shouldn't be up there in those things. (Madden famously refuses to fly. He has an extreme phobia of airplanes.)

Madden: Raiders look lethargic and slow. You get the feeling the Buccaneers are out there fighting for a world championship and I don't get that feeling from the Raiders.

Third and 2. Brad Johnson, who is not a fast guy, scrambles for 10. Nifty run. Matches his longest run of the season.

Bucs convert third and 7, Johnson to Jurevicius underneath, but there's a flag. It's on the Raiders. Declined. First down.

Madden: Jurevicius has a lot of stuff going on right now - his wife just had a baby and the baby is not doing well, in the hospital. He's got a lot happening inside his helmet.

Now Johnson downfield to Jurevicius for around 35 yards. First and 10 from the Oakland 14 yard line. Bucs have a chance to twist the knife here, and go up four scores (or three TDs and three successful two-point conversions) in the middle of the third quarter.

Madden: If this were a heavyweight fight: Tampa Bay would be landing a lot of body blows.

There's another. Johnson to Ken Dilger for around 13, down to the 1. First and goal.

Madden: Brad Johnson's beginning to have a lot of fun out there now.

After a holding penalty, the Bucs have first and goal from the 11. They're pounding the ball now. Under 6:00 left in the third quarter.

Another touchdown from McCardell. Johnson finds him wide open down the middle and it's an easy score. Buccaneers up 27-3 with 5:30 left in the third quarter. Barring a miracle, and soon, this game is over.

Bump-in from commercial: Keyshawn Johnson talking about winning a Super Bowl. Doesn't want to retire as a guy with a bunch of statistics and no rings. Wants to be great, not just good.

Next Sunday: NHL All-Star game and Pro Bowl. Madden won't be at the Pro Bowl because that requires air travel. He noped out of that.

Second down, Gannon looks for a short outside pass to Jerry Rice, and that does not fool Dwight Smith. 44 yard pick six. If the Raiders needed a miracle before, now a miracle might not even be enough. 34-3 Tampa Bay, 4:47 left in the third quarter. Gannon's third interception of the game.

Bill Callahan looked like this all day.

Great kick coverage again. Marcus Knight tackled inside the 20. Buccaneers had been very concerned about their kickoff coverage.

The domination continues. Gannon sacked on the first play of the next drive.

First downs: Buccaneers 20, Raiders 3

Oakland gets its first first down of the second half as the clock ticks below 4:00. Gannon to his tight end Jolley down the middle to the Oakland 41..

Madden: Both teams were throwing early, didn't work. Tampa went to the running game, Oakland didn't.

Michaels: Gruden's face is like a living caricature. Madden: Yeah, you wonder how one face can get in so many positions.

Third and 3, Jerry Porter goes deep and gets behind the Tampa Bay secondary, but makes the catch out the back of the end zone. Raiders challenge the call. It looks like maybe he got both feet in bounds. I expect this to be overturned. Now, watching the replay again...I dunno. The ball is rolling between his hands as he has his feet down. Michaels says it won't be overturned. Madden says it will be. Michaels: "Anything to hold an audience at this point."

It's overturned. Touchdown. That's a judgment call. I don't think there was a wrong call there. Raiders look like they're going for 2, which...okay. I guess. I'm not sure how you're better off at 34-11 than you are at 34-10. You're definitely not better with the score 34-9, which is how it turns out. Simeon Rice sacks Gannon on the convert attempt. Probably doesn't matter either way, but I'd have just kicked the extra point. I don't like to start chasing points until I have to.

Even the extra point net guy was confused.

Michaels: Jerry Rice was mic'ed up for this game, but Jerry took his mic off. Madden: Yeah, on the losing sideline they're not going to want you to hear them.

Michaels: What would Tony Dungy, Bill Parcells, original Bucs coach John McKay be thinking? Madden: McKay would be proud. Parcells would probably rather be here than anywhere. Dungy is thinking it could have been him.

Third quarter ends. Tampa Bay 34, Oakland 9.

FOURTH QUARTER

I guess they have to play the fourth quarter and I guess I have to watch it. Buccaneers run on third and long, keep the clock rolling, and punt on fourth down. 

The punt is blocked! Tim Johnson blocks the punt, Eric Johnson picks it out of the air, and takes it around 20 yards to the end zone.

They'll go for two again in order to cut the Bucs lead to 17 points. If they'd just kicked the extra point last time, they wouldn't need to do this. Rich Gannon chucks the pigskin out the back of the end zone. It's 34-15. Callahan has left two points on the table.

Be sure not to use the space in Super Bowl.com.

Michaels: Do the Raiders onside kick? Madden: No, that plays into Tampa's hands. You kick it deep, try to get a three and out, and have field position.

They don't get the three and out. Brad Johnson to a wide open Keyshawn Johnson. There was absolutely nobody covering him because the cornerback blitzed. First down.

Raiders give away a dumb defensive offside penalty on third and 8. It doesn't matter. Johnson throws it out of bounds on third down. But there's a flag?!? Pass interference?! That ball was five yards out of bounds. Totally uncatchable. Raiders got hosed on that call. First down, Bucs, at the 35.

Michael Pittman gets a pitch left and gains 24 yards. First and 10 at the Oakland 11.

Michaels: This is a nightmarish series for the Raiders. Penalties, failed blitzes, the big run from Pittman. Madden: Right after the momentum change, too. The momentum has changed back.

Bucs stall inside the 20, but as Madden points out, this is all about clock right now. He'll burn as much time as he can, kick a field goal, and go up by 22. Welp. Not today. The holder (Tom Tupa) drops the snap, Gramatica picks it up, and runs sideways for a bit before wisely falling over. 9:02 left, Raiders down 19.

It is never a good thing when your kicker has the ball and is running backwards. There’s no good outcome.

Hey, Tyrone Wheatley! It's a middle screen to the big fella. Raiders slowly moving downfield. 8:00 or so left, they're approaching midfield.

Madden and Michaels discuss the fact that the city is named Tampa and the area is "Tampa Bay". This needed to be explained?

Bump in from commercial: John Lynch talking about being a Buccaneer in the "Yuckaneer" seasons.

Bucs just keeping the Raiders in front of them, forcing them to run clock. 7:30 and counting, still haven't reached midfield.

A complete pass underneath converts a third down for the Raiders. Now we're below 7:00, still a 19-point deficit, still 45 yards from the end zone.

Third and 13, Gannon to Rice on a post pattern. Splits the seam against a two-deep zone. That's a touchdown. 34-21 now, Raiders going for two (again) and failing (again). It would be 34-24 if Callahan weren't a dummy. Raiders challenge the call - they say Porter would have landed in bounds but was pushed out. Problem is, that's not reviewable. They're reviewing it anyway. This is dumb. The review takes about two seconds. The Raiders lose a challenge and a timeout.

I don’t care how old Jerry Rice is, this is a touchdown 100 times out of 100 for him.

Why, Rich? To what end? What’s with all the two-point conversions?

No onside kick. Janikowski boots it to the end zone. Karl Williams downs it.

Michaels points out how dumb the two-point conversions were. Yes. They're super-dumb.

Michaels and Madden have no idea why Callahan challenged the two-point conversion call. Burned a timeout.

Bucs get a big first down, Johnson to Alstott. Under 5:00 left, Raiders still need two touchdowns.

Raiders burned a timeout on a second down run. Weird. Michaels and Madden hate the decision. Now they use their final timeout in the same situation - after second down. Announcers have no clue what Callahan is doing. Nor do I. 4:00 left.

Ah, there was an injury. Raiders get the timeout back. Clock rolling. 3:45 left.

Bucs will punt at around 3:00. Oakland still needs two touchdowns.

Raiders take over at their own 26. 2:46 left.

Bucs defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin to his players: Get a pass rush and don't let Gannon complete anything deep.

Two minute warning. Raiders at their own 39 or so, down 13 points.

Live performance from Bon Jovi coming up after the game.

Madden: Just voted for the MVP. Not going to say who I voted for. Probably not going to be the guy I voted for.

Third and 18, Gannon throws deep, picked off by linebacker Derrick Brooks, who takes it to the house. Game, set, match. 40-21, 1:18 left. 

Madden: Hey, lemme have that ballot back! (Says he voted for Simeon Rice, that it has to be a defensive guy.)

Cutaway: Keyshawn Johnson on the sideline, hugging his son.

Preproduced Gruden segment: We're here with one mission. To be number one and hoist that trophy.

ABC graphic: Gruden will become the youngest head coach to win a Super Bowl, breaking the record held by...John Madden.

Gannon throws with 0:10 left on the clock. It's tipped, picked by Dwight Smith, who takes it to the end zone for his second pick six of the day. His second INT and second score takes place just as Dexter Jackson is named the MVP with two interceptions and zero touchdowns.

Madden: Can't complain about Jackson as MVP, but I think this game was dominated and won by the Buccaneers' defensive line.

That was Gannon's fifth interception of the game, a Super Bowl record.

Extra point is good. 48-21 with two seconds left.

That's the final score. Tampa Bay 48, Oakland 21.

POSTGAME

Madden: You just had the feeling the Buccaneers came here to play a World Championship game, and for whatever reason, the Raiders couldn't get up to match them.

Warren Sapp: It's unbelievable. We had a focus and a goal and we were gonna get it done tonight.

Shot of the Horse Trailer, where ABC puts a picture of the player of the game. Crew members covering the entire trailer with pictures of everyone on the Tampa Bay defense.

Bon Jovi performs before the trophy presentation, which is hella weird.

Malcolm Glazer: Want to thank Coach Gruden. He came from heaven and brought us to heaven. Want to thank our players, the greatest players in the world. "THEY'RE THE TAMPA BUCCANEERS! IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT 'EM, YOU HEARD ABOUT 'EM TODAY!" The Tampa Buccaneers?

Tirico to Gruden: Did your familiarity with the Raiders help in this game? Gruden: That's all overrated. I stayed away from the defense [and let Monte Kiffin do his job].

Tirico: What turned the offense around this year. Gruden: Just time. We're still gonna get a lot better.

Gruden: Tony Dungy did a lot of great work and I'm reaping the benefits of that tonight.

Steve Young: Michael Pittman got this team started in the second quarter.

MVP Dexter Jackson: Watching coverage before the game, they were picking the MVP. I saw that and said I was going to go out and make a difference. I told some people I would be the MVP.

Jackson's wife is watching on TV at the hotel, 8.5 months pregnant.

Sapp: No greater feeling than to be getting it done with my teammates.

Keyshawn Johnson: Can't say enough about Brad Johnson. Nobody gave him credit all season long and here we are.

[docrotten]

Cult of Chucky (2017) - Gerald's Game (2017) - Episode 236 - Horror News Radio

Special guest Sammie Cassell joins the Grue-Crew this week to review a pair of horror film playing on Netflix this October. The first of the two is the latest film in the Child's Play series, The Cult of Chucky (2017). The second film is from director Mike Flanagan and legendary author Stephen King, Gerald's Game (2017). Netflix is killing this season with a gaggle of genre films lining up as the channel gears up for the release of Stranger Things Season 2. Can they knock it out of the park? Dave steps in with a handful of horror news with two new trailers (Castle Rock, Pacific Rim Uprising), details about the third season of Ash vs The Evil Dead, and Joe Lynch tossing aside an R-Rated version of Mayhem for a full-uncut release.

As always, the HNR Grue-Crew would love to hear from you, the listeners, the fans. You can always reach out via email at feedback(AT)horrornewsradio(DOT)com or find us on Twitter: Doc Rotten | Dave Dreher | The Black Saint | Thomas Mariani. Also, like us on Facebook and join the Horror News Radio Facebook Group.

Horror News Radio Episode 236 – The Cult of Chucky ( 2017) - Gerald's Game (2017) Subscribe – iTunes – Facebook – Stitcher

  SHOW NOTES

INTRO [00:00:40]

HORROR NEWS OF THE WEEK [00:03:35]

Trailer for Castle Rock introduces us to the Stephen King Universe

Bride of Frankenstein Shuts Down, Gal Gadot replaces Jolie?

Pacific Rim Uprising trailer brings the Jaeger goodness

Ash Vs. Evil Dead S3 details emerge from NYCCC

Joe Lynch tells the MPAA to stick their rating and brings MAYHEM unrated

FEATURE REVIEW [00:35:12]

The Cult of Chucky (2017)

director: Don Mancini

cast:  Fiona Dourif, Brad Dourif, Alex Vincent, Michael Therriault, Jennifer Tilly

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING [01:17:05]

Gerald's Game (2017)

director: Mike Flanagan

cast: Carla Gugino, Bruce Greenwood, Henry Thomas, Carel Stuycken, Chiara Aurelia, Kate Siegel

FEEDBACK [02:03:44]

Thanks to Tear Out the Heart and Victory Records for use of the song Undead Anthem for the intro and outro of the HNR podcast

SUPPORT HNR

Patreon

HNR & Gruesome Magazine T-Shirts

Gruesome Magazine 2016 Yearbook

Gruesome Magazine Spring 2017

Gruesome Magazine Summer 2017

NEXT WEEK

Happy Death Day / The Babysitter

        Check out this episode!

[placetobenation]

The guys at the Place to Be Nation Podcast have reached one of the most memorable era’s in WWF/E history, The winter of 1987 was loaded with historical angles, centered around the events between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.

In a previous column, we looked at how the WWF could have presented Survivor Series 1986. As the calendar turned to 1987, business was booming and Vince McMahon was ready to make history again.  Before we get to the big night in Pontiac, Michigan on March 29, the WWF would debut another new event.  This time, it would be the Royal Rumble.

Without changing locations of actual shows that occurred that day, here is the date and location for this show:

When: Saturday, January 24, 1987 Where: Sports Arena – Los Angeles, CA

On this day, the WWF ran two shows.  One in Detroit at Joe Lois Arena and the other in Los Angeles at the Sports Arena. Los Angeles would be the better location for several reasons. First, Detroit and the surrounding area would have two iconic shows in the coming months. Saturday Night’s Main Event (taped February 21 and airing March 14) and of course WrestleMania III.  Next, looking at the show results from that night, the roster in Los Angeles is just what the company needs for the Royal Rumble. Lastly, the day following this show would be Super Bowl XXI in Pasadena, CA, A suburb of Los Angeles, just 30 minutes away from the Sports Arena. With sports fans from around the world traveling to the Los Angeles area for the big game, selling out the 16,000 seat arena would be no concern. This date also works out nicely, because the next round of television taping would not take place until two days later on January 26 in Tampa, FL.

These are the actual results from Joe Lois Arena in Detroit and all talent from this show will not be featured at the Royal Rumble in Los Angles:

Sivi Afi vs.Tiger Chung Lee Brad Rheingans vs. Barry Horowitz Mike Rotundo vs. Iron Mike Sharpe Blackjack Mulligan vs. Nikolai Volkoff Hercules vs. Koko B. Ware The Honkytonk Man vs. George Steele WWF Tag Team Champion Davey Boy Smith & Roddy Piper (sub. for the Dynamite Kid) vs. Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart WWF IC Champion Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

As a special presentation to attract even more viewers, the company would not charge fans to watch this show on pay-per-view.  Instead, the show would be available through cable television on USA Network.

Your announce team this evening: Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura.  Since this was on cable TV and would have more viewers than it would on pay-per-view, Vince would want to make sure that the storytelling on commentary was hitting all of its bullet points.

It’s now time to head out to the west coast to see how the 1987 Royal Rumble could have went down.

Opening match: Dream Team vs Can-Am Connection

Rick Martel and Tom Zenk were rapidly becoming one of the most popular tag teams in the WWF.  After bursting on to the scene in late 1986, the Can-Am’s had everything you could ask for in a babyface tag team.  Young, good looking, and could electrify a crowd with their move set.  The Dream Team on the other hand had seen better days.  After losing the tag team titles to the British Bulldogs eight months earlier at WrestleMania II, Valentine and Beefcake had taken a plummet down the tag division.  They weren’t quite at “job” status, but weren’t seen as a top contender to regain the belts.  Manager, Johnny V had recently introduced a new tag team on Superstars of Wrestling by the name of Demolition.  Had Johnny given up on the Dream Team or was he just looking to add some more depth to his stable?  Along with Demolition, Johnny V had recruited Dino Bravo in his stable. A ring veteran like Bravo could provide some advise to the Dream Team to help give them a boost of confidence.  This match would be a nice opener to give Martel and Zenk another big win to solidify them as a top contender for the tag team titles.

“King” Harley Race vs. Tito Santana

Tito Santana had recently began a feud with relative newcomer Butch Reed, but on this night he would have his hands full with royalty in King Harley Race.  Harley was locked in a feud with Junkyard Dog, but with JYD adding his name to the Royal Rumble match (as did Butch Reed) later this evening, he demanded an opponent for this show and Tito would gladly accept. This is a battle of two men that could go hard in the ring.  There’s a couple of ways this match could go.  First would be a twenty minute draw and the other would be a double disqualification caused by interference from Butch Reed and JYD.

WWF Championship match: Hulk Hogan vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff with Special Gust Referee Bruno Sammartino

Just three weeks ago on the January 3 episode of Saturday Night’s Main Event, Hogan and Orndorff had a steel cage match that was filled with controversy.  With both men simultaneously leaving the cage from opposite sides of the ring earlier in the bout, referee Joey Marella named Hogan the winner and referee Danny Davis named Orndorff the winner. The match would be ordered to restart with Hogan eventually hitting a leg drop on Orndorff then escaping the cage to retain is WWF championship. An easy way to book this match here would be for WWF President Jack Tunney to award Orndorff a rematch and name a special guest referee in Bruno Sammartino.  In addition, Tunney would ban Orndorff’s manager, Bobby Heenan from ringside for the match.  With the Living Legend as the referee and Heenan banned from ringside, Hogan would emerge victorious here after Orndorff gives it all he had, putting the official seal on this rivalry. We could even have Bruno posing with Hogan after the match for a feel good moment on this show. What would be next for Hogan? Over the next few weeks, he would have a challenge from a man that he never expected.

Demolition vs Killer Bees

As previously mentioned, Johnny V had recently debuted a new tag team in Demolition. Ax and Smash were big, tough, and intimidating. This would be a big showcase for them as they take on the Killer Bee’s, B. Brian Blair and Jumping Jim Brunzell.  The Bee’s were stuck in the mid-card of the tag division, In order to climb the ranks of the division, a win for Ax and Smash over the Bees here would help make a name for themselves. This match would serve as a good cool down period between the WWF title match and the upcoming Royal Rumble match.

“IT IS NOW TIME FOR THE ROYAL RUMBLE!”

Royal Rumble participants:

Jake “The Snake” Roberts Billy Jack Haynes Kamala Ron Bass Dick Slater Dino Bravo King Kong Bundy Hillbilly Jim Lanny Poffo Adrian Adonis Butch Reed Andre the Giant “Magnificent” Muraco “Cowboy” Bob Orton Jauques Rougeau Raymond Rougeau Sika Junkyard Dog Haku Tama

The brain child of Pat Patterson was ready to take center stage with 20 WWF superstars drawing numbers at random as they entered the inaugural Royal Rumble match.  The field would be filled out with ring veterans, tag team members, newcomers, and guys trying to make a name for themselves.

One of the favorites to win the Rumble match has had an interesting couple of months. On the November 26 episode of WWF Superstars in was announced that Andre the Giant had been reinstated.  Andre had been suspended back in May for failing to appear at WWF events. Footage was shown of the reinstatement hearing where Andre was not present, but Bobby Heenan was. On January 17, during an installment of Piper’s Pit, Hulk Hogan was presented with a trophy for being world champion for 3 years.  Andre the Giant came out to congratulate Hogan and shook Hogan’s hand rather firmly. Early this very day (January 24) during another installment of Piper’s Pit, Andre was presented with a trophy for being the only undefeated man in WWF history. Hogan would come out to the set during the segment and Andre would walk off.

With some fantasy booking, here’s how he Rumble match could go down.

Entry order:

Adrian Adonis Junkyard Dog Dino Bravo Dick Slater Sika Tama King Kong Bundy Raymond Rougeau Ron Bass Haku Butch Reed Jake Roberts Kamala Andre the Giant Don Muraco Raymond Rougeau Lanny Poffo Bob Orton Billy Jack Haynes Hillbilly Jim

With the final four in the match being Andre, Bob Orton, Don Muraco and Hillbilly Jim, Orton and Muraco would tie Andre up in the ropes, so they can double team Haynes.  After eliminating Hillbilly, Orton and Muraco would untangle Andre from the ropes and double team him. Andre would make a comeback, first eliminating Orton, followed by Muraco shortly there after. During a post match celebration from Andre, Hulk Hogan would come down to congratulate Andre. Hogan would put his hand out for Andre to shake.  Instead of shaking Hogan’s hand, Andre would stare at Hogan, followed by leaving the ring while saluting the crowd. Hogan would look on in confusion as the show fades to black.

In the coming weeks we would see Andre the Giant being recruited by Bobby Heenan and turning on Hulk Hogan leading to their match at WrestleMania III.

This card would serve as another tease for the Andre heel turn as well as the introduction of the Royal Rumble match a year earlier than it originally debuted.  Pat Patterson has said the he had the Rumble idea in his head since 1986, so this would not be impossible to pull off.

How could you see the 1987 Royal Rumble unfolding? Leave your feedback and fantasy booking ideas below.

[365footballorg-blog]

Fantasy: Week 19 positional rankings

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July 3, 20182:26PM EDT

Reid (via the traveling MLSFI studio) is joined by Mike and Blayne to review the important Fantasy takeaways from Round 18 and prep for the upcoming massive Round 19 DGW which start TUESDAY! Mike and Blayne get distracted by an early episode rant about the fantasy value of Minnesota players and everyone weighs in on what kind of future production we can expect from LAFC wonder forward Adama Diomande. They then break down Round 19 focusing on the DGW teams before wrapping up with a preview of the MLSFI H2H playoffs!

Week 19 of MLS Fantasy features 11 teams playing twice which means double the fantasy points just in time to make a run up the leaderboard. Here are the top players at each position, with an emphasis on players who play two games this week.

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Goalkeepers

David Bingham | USA Today Sports Images

Despite a struggling defense, LA Galaxy ‘keeper David Bingham has been posting strong fantasy scores and is one of three goalkeepers who have two home games this week.

Rank Player Team Opponent Price 1  David Bingham LA vs. DC, vs. CLB $ 8.5 2  Joe Willis HOU vs. LAFC, vs. MIN $ 6.1 3 Nick Rimando RSL vs. SKC, vs. DAL $ 7.2 4  Tyler Miller LAFC at HOU, vs. ORL $ 6.6 5  Tim Melia SKC at RSL, vs. TOR $ 10.5 6 Tim Howard COL vs. SEA, at MTL $ 4.8 7 Jesse Gonzalez DAL vs. ATL, at RSL $ 8.0 8 Brad Guzan ATL at DAL, at PHI $ 7.4 9  Alex Bono TOR at MIN, at SKC $ 7.4 10 Stefan Frei SEA at COL, at NE $ 7.3

Defenders

Laurent Ciman is the only starting defender averaging over seven fantasy points per game and with LAFC hosting an Orlando City attack (Saturday, 4:30 pm ET | FOX — Full TV & Streaming info) that have been shutout in three straight, there’s a good chance he continues to produce.

Rank Player Team Opponent Price 1 Laurent Ciman LAFC at HOU, vs. ORL $ 10.8 2 Graham Zusi SKC at RSL, vs. TOR $ 11.5 3 Matt Hedges DAL vs. ATL, at RSL $ 8.2 4 Justen Glad RSL vs. SKC, vs. DAL $ 7.9 5 Jorgen Skjelvik LA vs. DC, vs. CLB $ 7.4 6 Walker Zimmerman LAFC vs. HOU, vs. ORL $ 9.2 7 Tommy Smith COL vs. SEA, at MTL $ 6.2 8 Leandro Gonzalez Pirez ATL at DAL, at PHI $ 7.8 9 Edgar Castillo COL vs. SEA, at MTL $ 7.3 10 Steven Beitashour LAFC at HOU, vs. ORL $ 8.8 11 Justin Morrow TOR at MIN, at SKC $ 5.0 12 DaMarcus Beasley HOU vs. LAFC, vs. MIN $ 6.2 13 Chad Marshall SEA at COL, at NE $ 6.5 14 Matt Besler SKC at RSL, vs. TOR $ 10.0 15 Philippe Senderos HOU vs. LAFC, vs. MIN $ 7.0 16 Ashley Cole LA vs. DC, vs. CLB $ 6.7 17 Nicolas Hasler TOR at MIN, at SKC $ 5.8 18 Michael Ciani LA vs. DC, vs. CLB $ 6.8 19 Ike Opara SKC at RSL, at TOR $ 10.0 20 Joao Moutinho LAFC at HOU, vs. ORL $ 4.0

Midfielders

Romain Alessandrini returned to the Galaxy lineup in Week 18 with a goal and with two home games in Week 19 he jumps out as arguably the top midfielder to pick if we can avoid roster rotation.

Rank Player Team Opponent Price 1 Romain Alessandrini LA vs. DC, vs. CLB $ 9.4 2 Miguel Almiron ATL at DAL, at PHI $ 12.6 3 Nicolas Lodeiro SEA at COL, at NE $ 12.3 4 Tomas Martinez HOU vs. LAFC, vs. MIN $ 9.7 5 Albert Rusnak RSL vs. SKC, vs. DAL $ 10.4 6 Lee Nguyen LAFC at HOU, vs. ORL $ 7.0 7 Johnny Russell SKC at RSL, vs. TOR $ 9.4 8 Benny Feilhaber LAFC at HOU, vs. ORL $ 10.3 9 Daniel Salloi SKC at RSL, vs. TOR $ 11.0 10 Jonathan Osorio TOR at MIN, at SKC $ 10.2 11 Roland Lamah DAL vs. ATL, at RSL $ 7.9 12 Ezequiel Barco ATL at DAL, at PHI $ 8.9 13 Michael Bradley TOR at MIN, at SKC $ 9.5 14 Ilie SKC at RSL, vs. TOR $ 10.0 15 Boniek Garcia HOU vs. LAFC, vs. MIN $ 7.9 16 Damir Kreilach RSL vs. SKC, vs. DAL $ 7.6 17 Roger Espinoza SKC at RSL, vs. TOR $ 9.1 18 Sam Nicholson COL vs. SEA, at MTL $ 4.9 19 Chris Pontius LA vs. DC, vs. CLB $ 5.0 20 Mark-Anthony Kaye LAFC at HOU, vs. ORL $ 8.3 21 Rasmus Schuller MIN vs. TOR, at HOU $ 8.8 22 Joao Plata RSL vs. SKC, vs. DAL $ 8.9 23 Julian Gressel ATL at DAL, at PHI $ 9.5 24 Kyle Beckerman RSL vs. SKC, vs. DAL $ 7.2 25 Cristian Roldan SEA at COL, at NE $ 7.2 26 Sebastian Saucedo RSL vs. SKC, vs. DAL $ 6.4 27 Osvaldo Alonso SEA at COL, at MTL $ 6.4 28 Perry Kitchen LA vs. DC, vs. CLB $ 6.3 29 Victor Rodriguez SEA at COL, at NE $ 6.3 30 Alexi Gomez MIN vs. TOR, at HOU $ 5.3

Forwards

Adama Diomande is chased by Lalas Abubakar of Crew SC | USA Today Sports Images

LAFC’s Adama Diomande has been red hot with seven goals over his last four games and he has a pair of matchups that could have goals in store, including a home game versus a reeling Orlando City squad on Saturday.

Rank Player Team Opponent Price 1 Adama Diomande LAFC at HOU, vs. ORL $ 8.8 2 Zlatan Ibrahimovic LA vs. DC, vs. CLB $ 9.2 3 Alberth Elis HOU vs. LAFC, vs. MIN $ 9.9 4 Sebastian Giovinco TOR at MIN, at SKC $ 10.9 5 Josef Martinez ATL at DAL, at PHI $ 11.7 6 Romell Quioto HOU vs. LAFC, vs. MIN $ 10.0 7 Mauro Manotas HOU vs. LAFC, vs. MIN $ 7.4 8 Darwin Quintero MIN vs. TOR, at HOU $ 8.2 9 Maxi Urruti DAL vs. ATL, at RSL $ 8.8 10 Ola Kamara LA vs. DC, vs. CLB $ 8.7 11 Clint Dempsey SEA at COL, at NE $ 5.5 12 Dominique Badji COL vs. SEA, at MTL $ 6.7 13 Jefferson Savarino RSL vs. SKC, vs. DAL $ 6.5 14 Will Bruin SEA at COL, at NE $ 7.1 15 Diego Rossi LAFC at HOU, vs. ORL $ 9.0 16 Corey Baird RSL vs. SKC, vs. DAL $ 6.2 17 Latif Blessing LAFC at HOU, vs. ORL $ 5.7 18 Christian Ramirez MIN vs. TOR, at HOU $ 6.5 19 Hector Villalba ATL at DAL, at PHI $ 5.9 20 Joe Mason COL vs. SEA, at MTL $ 4.0

Stay Connected: To get all the latest Fantasy news and advice, download the MLS app and sign up for MLS Fantasy notifications. To sign up for notifications, select the main menu, choose settings. Within the settings menu, select News & Videos notifications and turn on notifications for “Fantasy Soccer.”

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Fantasy: Week 19 positional rankings was originally published on 365 Football

[365footballorg-blog]

Fantasy: Week 14 positional rankings

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May 29, 20183:22PM EDT

Reid and Mike sit down on the Memorial Day holiday to record a quick episode before the double-game week gets started on Wednesday! They jump right to the main questions of which players will be available for Round 14 and who their player picks will be and give more insight into their thought process for each position. If you’re debating about some of the single-game week option, don’t worry, they wrap everything up by highlighting the few SGW games worth considering.

A big double-game week is upon us in Week 14 of MLS Fantasy, with eight teams playing twice and giving us the chance to double up on fantasy points.

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Goalkeepers

Nick Rimando has the more favorable schedule of the only two DGW ‘keepers with two home games. He posted his third clean sheet of the season at Seattle in Week 13 and faces the sputtering Sounders attack again on the back end of the double-game week.

Rank Player Team Opponent Price 1  Nick Rimando RSL vs. HOU, vs. SEA $ 6.3 2  Brad Guzan ATL at NE, vs. PHI $ 6.9 3 Andre Blake PHI vs. CHI, at ATL $ 7.6 4  Patrick McLain CHI at PHI, vs. SJ $ 6.0 5  Jesse Gonzalez DAL at LA, vs. LAFC $ 6.0 6 Matt Turner NE vs. ATL, vs. RBNY $ 7.0 7 David Bingham LA vs. DAL, at POR $ 7.0 8 Joe Willis HOU at RSL, at MTL $ 5.2 9  Tim Melia SKC vs. MIN $ 8.8 10 Sean Johnson NYC vs. ORL $ 6.2

Defenders

Real Salt Lake center back Justen Glad is among more reliable fantasy defenders playing two games this week. | USA Today Sports Images

There are no “must-have” defenders that stick out this week, but with a pair of home games Justen Glad looks to be in line for a productive week. He earned 10 points in Week 13 and — considering his average of over five points per game — another double-digit week could be in order.

Rank Playe Team Opponent Price 1 Justen Glad RSL vs. HOU, vs. SEA $ 7.5 2 Keegan Rosenberry PHI vs. CHI, at ATL $ 8.6 3 Michael Parkhurst ATL at NE, vs. PHI $ 8.0 4 Graham Zusi SKC vs. MIN $ 11.5 5 Brandon Vincent CHI at PHI, vs. SJ $ 5.8 6 Auston Trusty PHI vs. CHI, at ATL $ 6.5 7 Johan Kappelhof CHI at PHI, vs. SJ $ 6.9 8 Reggie Cannon DAL at LA, vs. LAFC $ 8.5 9 Kevin Ellis CHI at PHI, vs. SJ $ 6.7 10 Reto Ziegler DAL at LA, vs. LAFC $ 7.3 11 Jorgen Skjelvik LA vs. DAL, at POR $ 7.0 12 Mark McKenzie PHI vs. CHI, at ATL $ 5.6 13 Danny Acosta RSL vs. HOU, vs. SEA $ 4.8 14 Andrew Farrell NE vs. ATL, vs. RBNY $ 7.8 15 Marcelo Silva RSL vs. HOU, vs. SEA $ 4.9 16 Claude Dielna NE vs. ATL, vs. RBNY $ 6.5 17 Maynor Figueroa DAL at LA, vs. LAFC $ 4.6 18 Emrah Klimenta LA vs. DAL, at POR $ 5.5 19 Alejandro Fuenmayor HOU at RSL, at MTL $ 7.3 20 Raymon Gaddis PHI vs. CHI, at ATL $ 5.5

Midfielders

Ezequiel Barco, above, and Miguel Almiron are both promising plays with Atlanta’s two games this week. | USA Today Sports Images

Despite single-digit production in each of his last three games, Miguel Almiron is still at the top of the overall point leaderboard with 118 points on the season. Teammate Ezequiel Barco has cut into some of Almiron’s fantasy production, but with two exploitable matchups on the schedule both Atlanta attackers are high on the fantasy radar this week.

Rank Player Team Opponent Price 1 Miguel Almiron ATL at NE, vs. PHI $ 14.8 2 Romain Alessandrini LA vs. DAL, at POR $ 8.7 3 Ezequiel Barco ATL at NE, vs. PHI $ 8.8 4 Mauro Diaz DAL at LA, vs. LAFC $ 10.4 5 Borek Dockal PHI vs. CHI, at ATL $ 8.7 6 Diego Fagundez NE vs. ATL, vs. RBNY $ 9.2 7 Tomas Martinez HOU at RSL, at MTL $ 9.1 8 Aleksandar Katai CHI at PHI, vs. SJ $ 8.0 9 Santiago Mosquera DAL at LA, vs. LAFC $ 7.0 10 Bastian Schweinsteiger CHI at PHI, vs. SJ $ 11.0 11 Teal Bunbury NE vs. ATL, vs. RBNY $ 9.7 12 Marcus Epps PHI vs. CHI, at ATL $ 5.9 13 Roland Lamah DAL at LA, vs. LAFC $ 9.9 14 Alejandro Bedoya PHI vs. CHI, at ATL $ 9.4 15 Boniek Garcia HOU at RSL, at MTL $ 6.4 16 Haris Medunjanin PHI vs. CHI, at ATL $ 8.9 17 Damir Kreilach RSL vs. HOU, vs. SEA $ 8.1 18 Brooks Lennon RSL vs. HOU, vs. SEA $ 7.5 19 Emmanuel Boateng LA vs. DAL, at POR $ 5.5 20 Sebastian Saucedo RSL vs. HOU, vs. SEA $ 4.4 21 Diego Campos CHI at PHI, vs. SJ $ 4.7 22 Julian Gressel ATL at NE, vs. PHI $ 7.5 23 Kyle Beckerman RSL vs. HOU, vs. SEA $ 7.0 24 Wilfried Zahibo NE vs. ATL, vs. RBNY $ 9.7 25 Jacori Hayes DAL at LA, vs. LAFC $ 6.5 26 Maxi Moralez NYC vs. ORL $ 11.0 27 Sebastian Lletget LA vs. DAL, at POR $ 5.5 28 Diego Valeri POR vs. LA $ 11.8 29 Daniel Salloi SKC vs. MIN $ 10.0 30 Kellyn Acosta DAL at LA, vs. LAFC $ 5.8

Forwards

Josef Martinez was shutdown by the New York Red Bulls in his last outing, but he’s yet to go two consecutive games without a goal this season. On top of that he faces a Revolution side that have conceded 11 goals through four games in the month of May.

Rank Player Team Opponent Price 1 Josef Martinez ATL at NE, vs. PHI $ 9.2 2 Alberth Elis HOU at RSL, at MTL $ 11.3 3 Zlatan Ibrahimovic LA vs. DAL, at POR $ 8.7 4 Nemanja Nikolic CHI at PHI, vs. SJ $ 7.4 5 Cristian Penilla NE vs. ATL, vs. RBNY $ 9.7 6 Maxi Urruti DAL at LA, vs. LAFC $ 9.1 7 Jefferson Savarino RSL vs. HOU, vs. SEA $ 7.2 8 Romell Quioto HOU at RSL, at MTL $ 9.0 9 David Villa NYC vs. ORL $ 11.3 10 Corey Baird RSL vs. HOU, vs. SEA $ 5.8 11 CJ Sapong PHI vs. CHI, at ATL $ 5.9 12 Mauro Manotas HOU at RSL, at MTL $ 7.9 13 Sebastian Giovinco TOR at CLB $ 10.5 14 Bradley Wright-Phillips RBNY at NE $ 12.6 15 Ola Kamara LA vs. DAL $ 8.8 16 Diego Rossi LAFC at DAL $ 10.5 17 Samuel Armenteros POR vs. LA $ 4.5 18 Khiry Shelton SKC vs. MIN $ 5.2 19 Dominique Badji COL vs. VAN $ 7.9 20 Kei Kamara VAN at COL $ 8.2

Stay Connected: To get all the latest Fantasy news and advice, download the MLS app and sign up for MLS Fantasy notifications. To sign up for notifications, select the main menu, choose settings. Within the settings menu, select News & Videos notifications and turn on notifications for “Fantasy Soccer.”

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Fantasy: Week 14 positional rankings was originally published on 365 Football