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chaoticm0therfvcker · 10 days

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The Real Minecraft Movie

So, in one of my previous posts, I mentioned that I would be making my own version of the Minecraft movie because looking at the trailer it’s probably gonna be ass. So, here’s some info on it

Note: looking at how elaborate the plot is, I’m realizing now it would probably be better as a tv show instead of a movie, but 🤷‍♀️

Characters

Obviously, there will be Steve and Alex, who will take the role as the mentors of the main characters. Also they will be their correct races and have their correct skin colors.

Then, onto the main characters. They go by Kay and Archer, however since they are video game avatars being controlled by players in the outside world, their full names are Chaos_Girlie and ArcherTheRogue (Archers player likes DnD, okay?). A quick overview of how they got there is that they gained sentience even though they’re avatars in a video game. However, these full names will not be revealed until a goofy post credits scene at the end of the story.

Kay is the same average height as all other Minecraft humans and humanoids, and she has long, dark purple hair that’s half pulled back into a ponytail. Her avatar sports a purple t-shirt under a black jacket and black pants to match, as well as white socks and no shoes. Later on, she gets diamond armor that is later turned into netherite armor with amethyst trims. She’s the adventurer/miner of the group, and she often brings Archer along on adventures so that he can hunt and learn how to fight. She wields an axe as her main weapon, though she also uses a sword when she is sparring with Steve. She’s considerably more experienced than Archer for reasons that won’t be revealed until the twist. Also she loves axolotls and catches a cyan one she names Snowflake.

Archer is the same height as Kay, and he has light pink curly hair, kinda like the wool of a pink sheep. His avatar sports a light blue hoodie with a little black creeper face in the top corner of the front of his shirt by his shoulder, and black shorts with dark blue sneakers with white laces. Later on, he gets iron armor, but Kay helps him get netherite so it eventually gets replaced by netherite armor with diamond trim. His main weapon is a crossbow that he uses to shoot light blue fireworks at enemies, as well as a trident that he mainly just uses to get mob heads during thunderstorms. He is the hunter/builder of the two, though he has to bring Kay along with him for hunting sessions at the start because he isn’t very experienced with fighting. During one of their adventures, Archer finds a baby pink sheep and names it curly in reference to them having matching hair.

Also, later on they befriend a piglin brute they name Ender, because he helped them get ender pearls in a warped forest biome as a symbol of their friendship.

Enemies

Obviously, they will face the regular hostile mobs such as creepers, spiders, and zombies, and since both of them are more focused on exploring and hunting and stuff, they end up having to deal with phantoms very often.

They will also face off against the boss mobs of the game. They’ll start with the Elder Guardian, then they’ll accidentally spawn the Warden while exploring a cave, then they’ll spawn the Wither in the nether once Steve and Alex tell them about beacons (it will be the bedrock wither so it’ll spawn backup wither skeletons halfway through and be very unpredictable with its movements) and then the Ender Dragon will be their final battle.

The overall main antagonist of the game is Herobrine. He has been the main villain for Steve and Alex since the beginning of time, and he is the reason Steve and Alex are enlisting in the help of Kay and Archer to kill the Ender Dragon (this will be explained further in the plot section). They do end up fighting against him, but he ends up being spared under the conditions that he gives Ender the ability to travel to the overworld without being zombified and that if he ever gives them trouble again, he will be killed on the spot.

Plot

The movie starts with a montage of the different biomes along with a narrator saying the words from the very first trailer of Minecraft with Otherside by Lena Raine playing in the background. Then, it cuts to Kay and Archer spawning into the world, spawning about a foot off the ground and face planting into a plains biome. Groaning, they get up while rubbing their heads, and once they see each other, they introduce themselves. Since they don’t want to say their full names, they opt to say “Call me Kay; Call me Archer”. Off in the distance, there is a badlands biome in one direction and a taiga biome in the opposite direction, and they opt to go to the taiga biome so they can get some wood. While Kay is chopping away at spruce trees, Archer finds some sweet berry bushes and while trying to collect some of the berries, he ends up tripping and falling into the bush, taking damage with each movement. Since neither of them have any armor, he is taking some serious damage and needs help. This is where Steve and Alex come in; while they’re returning from an adventure, they see Archer struggling and decide to help him out by tearing apart the bush and offering him a regeneration potion. Once Archer sees who just helped him, he starts geeking out, and when Kay turns to see what all the commotion is about, she starts geeking out as well. Touched by the amount of admiration they are receiving, Steve and Alex ask if they want to tag along on their adventures, offering to train them and even help them navigate through all of the typical major milestones for players. Once she hears about this, Kay excitedly remarks that she’s waited so long to kill the Ender Dragon, which is a bit of a strange comment considering she just spawned into the world. Despite this, Archer ignores her remark and they start on their first adventure.

Kay tries to urge them to start by exploring the badlands biome off in the distance, but Alex states that they’re not ready to face off against all of the mobs within the mineshafts and instead bring them to a village to get food, armor and weapons instead. It’s a taiga village because those villages don’t get enough appreciation. Steve and Alex tell Kay and Archer to explore the village while they go talk to the armor and weapon smiths to hook them up with some weapons and armor. Kay goes off and explores some of the farms, stealing some pumpkins and potatoes but getting caught by a farmer villager. She apologizes and says that she’s new to the world and just wants some food, and the villager decides that she can keep the food as long as she gives him back some of the potatoes she stole so he can replant them and to bring him some of the bones she gets if she runs into any skeletons. He then mentions that she’s going to need to bake the potatoes and turn the pumpkins into pumpkin pie, and he decides that if it means she’ll get out of his hair, he’ll help her get the ingredients for the pumpkin pie. Meanwhile, Archer is exploring the village by going into all the villager houses and petting all the random animals in pens. All of a sudden, he runs into an iron golem. Intimidated, he stumbles back a little bit, but the iron golem offers him a poppy, which Archer takes while squeaking out a quick “thank you” before scrambling away. Steve approaches him and asks where Kay is, because the smiths they were talking to are ready to trade with them. Hearing Steve and Archer talking, Kay approaches them while stuffing her face with pumpkin pie to ask what’s going on. Steve tells them to follow them, and once they approach the armor and weapon smiths, Alex introduces them and hands them emeralds for trades.

With her emeralds, Kay excitedly gets herself an enchanted diamond axe, but soon realizes that she screwed up and doesn’t have enough emeralds for armor. Archer, on the other hand, gets himself iron armor without realizing that he could’ve gotten diamond armor and runs out of emeralds before he can get a weapon. Steve and Alex both facepalm at how stupidly they wasted their emeralds, but reassure them that they can collect materials to get more emeralds or get the materials to make weapons and armor themselves. Kay and Archer ask if the villagers have any spare beds that they can borrow, and Steve tells them to wait until nightfall to see if there are any spare beds. Soon, the sun sets, and Kay and Archer end up in neighboring cabins, with Kay sleeping in a purple bed and Archer sleeping in a blue bed that he wants to dye a lighter blue once he has the flowers to do so. The next morning, they grab their beds, thank the villagers for hosting them and trading with them, and they start their next adventure.

The four decide that their “next adventure” should be finding a place to build a base before setting off on other future adventures, and Alex states that their base should be near a body of water, that way they can have a dock to go fishing and have easier access to other biomes further out. Kay still wants to go to that badlands biome, but holds her tongue this time and just follows along. While they’re walking, Steve and Alex explain that their current mission is to kill herobrine so that they would be able to kill the Ender Dragon one final time. Archer asks them to elaborate, and Steve explains that herobrine is a godlike entity that doesn’t like when players get too powerful. Alex then takes over, explaining that in order to “complete” the end battle, they need to kill the Ender Dragon twenty times, creating a ring of end gateways around the main island. She states that they had already killed the Ender Dragon nineteen times, but that they were interrupted the final time by herobrine and spawned back into the overworld with none of their stuff, being forced to basically start from square one. Kay starts geeking out because she thought it was impressive to be able to kill the Ender Dragon once, let alone nineteen times! Then, they come across an area that would be perfect for their base, a flower forest with a warm ocean in front of them, a large plateau with an exposed cave in the side of it and a cherry grove on top of it to the right of them, and a beach to the left of them with a snowy peaks biome way off in the distance. Building a quick ladder, furnace, crafting table, and a few chests, they burrow into the ground and create an underground base, agreeing that they would expand their base once they’ve done some mining. Crafting up some stone pickaxes, Steve, Alex, and Kay go into the cave, but Archer says he’s gonna explore the ocean since he has respiration on his helmet. Steve tells him to be careful of drowned, pufferfish and guardians, and warns him about the mining fatigue he’ll get if he decides to explore an ocean monument. Archer promises to stay safe, and with a mock salute, he’s off to explore the ocean.

Since nothing overly exciting is currently happening to Kay, it cuts to Archer exploring the ocean. He’s swimming around, collecting sea pickles, and after he gets poisoned by a pufferfish, he kills a few pufferfish to see if he can do anything to them once he returns. Swimming out further, he discovers a shipwreck with iron, diamonds, lapis, and a treasure map. Soon, he finds an ocean monument, and as Steve warned, he gets the mining fatigue effect. However, before he has the chance to go inside, he feels a sharp pain in his side, and looking over in the direction of where he felt the pain, he sees a drowned holding a trident, ready to attack. He decides to attack the drowned so it’ll stop attacking him, and after a long and hard battle, he punches the drowned enough times that it dies and drops the trident, which Archer immediately grabs.

Swimming to the surface to catch his breath, he soon dives back under the water to explore the ocean monument. The battle against all the guardians was pretty hard, but with the help from his new trident, he was able to defeat everyone and even found the gold in the ocean monument. He tries to mine it with his stone pickaxe, but the gold block didn’t drop. Slightly discouraged, he soon realizes that he has a crafting table and a bunch of iron from the shipwreck he had discovered earlier, so he crafts an iron pickaxe and successfully mines the gold. Proud of his work, he returns to shore, deciding to go to the beach near their base to find the buried treasure listed on the map he found.

Then, it cuts to Kay, Steve, and Alex. They are currently at the outskirts of a lush cave, and due to the brightness of the cave warding off hostile mobs, they decide to set up a temporary little camp of crafting tables and furnaces. Kay asks what biome they are in and remarks that it’s beautiful, so Alex explains that it’s a lush biome, with lots of cool plant life, fish, and these cute little creatures called axolotls. Steve makes a remark that Alex got lucky and was able to explore lush caves when they first started being generated while he was stuck in a dripstone cave trying not to get impaled. Kay feels something nudging her and hears a little squeak, then looks down to see a little cyan axolotl looking up at her. Overwhelmed by cuteness, she scoops it up and starts cuddling with it, and Steve quickly crafts a bucket and hands it to Kay, telling her that if she wants to keep her new friend alive, it needed to go in the bucket. Kay gladly obliges and names it Snowflake, and once they reach the ores finish smelting, they return to the surface to check on Archer.

When they emerge from the cave, Archer excitedly approaches them and tells them about his discoveries, which Alex is very happy to hear about and offers to teach him how to use it. Steve and Kay go off to build their base, and Alex crafts a few target blocks to train Archer with. She tells him how to throw it and how to aim properly and stuff, and he does surprisingly well, which Alex takes notice of. She makes a remark at his natural skill, and he replies by explaining that he saw how the drowned was attacking him and just did something similar to that. After they train a little while longer, they notice a pillager patrol and Alex tells him to use his new skills to kick their butts, saying that she’ll be close behind him with her bow. After killing all the pillagers, he gets his crossbow, which Alex congratulates him on and shows him how to use it, later explaining that he could use fireworks as ammo once they get gunpowder, paper, and dye.

Alex and Archer return to Steve and Kay to see them struggling to build a house. They’ve got a frame up made of stripped spruce wood, and they have a little farm and and some sugar cane off to the side, but they’re arguing about how to build the rest of the house. Kay is trying to say that a cool castle made of stone bricks would be awesome, while Steve is arguing that her idea is way over the top and they should just do a cute little cabin reminiscent of a villager house. Archer jumps in and says that deepslate bricks would probably look nice, and they could still do a cute little cabin and invest more of their resources into a nice underground base. Kay and Steve shrug and agree that that’s a good idea, and it’s back to the caves to get some deepslate.

While they’re exploring, Kay is awkwardly trying to shove her new diamond armor on while she walks, when suddenly they approach an ancient city. Steve says to tread carefully because they might spawn the warden. They start to explore, when Kay activates the first skulk shrieker. Kay freaks out, but Steve reassures her by saying that it takes three skulk shriekers being activated before the warden actually spawns. As the explore, Archer accidentally steps on the second shrieker, and not a moment later, Steve himself trips and sets off the third one. The group goes back and forth trying to determine “was that three? That couldn’t be three, right?” When the warden climbs up out of the ground and Archer quickly squeaks “yep, that was three!” before the group starts running in opposite directions. Alex yells that they have to avoid stepping on any more shriekers because multiple wardens can exist at the same time. Yada yada, they sneak around and attack the warden from all directions, and boom, warden defeated. They quickly exit the ancient city, grab the deepslate they need, and get the hell out of there.

Once they finish building their house, Steve mentions that he grabbed some obsidian before they left, so they can start their next adventure; navigating the nether. They build the portal, Alex gives them a quick overview of what they might run into while they’re exploring, and to stay close to them. They enter the nether and start out in a nether wastes biome, which causes both Steve and Alex to breathe a sigh of relief because the nether waste is arguably the easiest nether biome to survive in. Alex points to the nether gold ore on the walls and ground and tells them to mine it because they’ll need it for bartering with piglins and avoiding pissing the piglins off. Archer asks where they can find piglins, and Steve explains that they can sometimes be found in groups exploring the nether, but it’ll be easiest to find them in bastions, preferably treasure bastions because they have a lot of cool treasure.

After a bit of mining and exploring, they discover a treasure bastion, and Kay and Archer immediately run in, excited for all the treasure they’ll find. However, they immediately get approached by a piglin brute trying to kill them. Steve shouts and says he was trying to warn them about brutes, and Lay goes to take a swing at the brute. However, she soon realizes that she could probably get him to stop fighting by taking his axe. Therefore, that’s exactly what she does, albeit with a bit of struggling. The brute kind of does a double take, and looks at Kay with surprise and admiration. As a way to show his admiration, he begs to befriend the group, offering to help them navigate the bastion and get ender pearls. Kay asks if he has a name, he says no, and they decide to name him Ender. As promised, Ender helps them navigate the bastion, keeping other piglins and piglin brutes from attacking the group and helping them get gold, lodestones, soul speed enchanted books, and even some netherite, though he says that they’ll have to mine for some as well. Then, once they’re done, he leads them to a warped forest biome to get ender pearls. Archer asks why they didn’t just trade with piglins, and Ender explains that it’s not the most reliable method and could end up just being a major waste of gold. Alex gives them a quick debriefing about the fact that endermen attack people who make eye contact with them and that projectiles don’t work to fight them, so Archer will have to use his trident to do melee attacks. There’s a montage of them fighting the endermen, and soon, they have all the ender pearls they need.

Once they’re done killing endermen, Steve explains that they’ll need to go to a nether fortress in order to get blaze rods that will be turned into blaze powder. Ender offers to help them, and after a while of searching, they find a fortress. However, it’s in a soul sand valley, so Alex warns them that there will be more wither skeletons than normal and that they’re incredibly dangerous. Alex says that she can hold off the wither skeletons with her bow, and Archer says that he can help out with his crossbow. As they’re fighting Archer manages to get a wither skull, and Alex excitedly explains they’re pretty rare and if he can get three of them, they can spawn the wither, which is a difficult boss but will drop a nether star that they can use to build a beacon. Once they finish fighting, Archer explains to Kay and Steve what Alex explained to him. Kay excitedly announces that they should spawn it, and while Steve is a bit apprehensive at first, he agrees as long as they’re careful. So, they spawn the wither, almost die, Kay has a panic attack from almost dying, and they get the nether star! Once they’re finished, they leave the end, but sadly Ender can’t follow them because he’ll get zombified.

Since they had to build a new nether portal, they end up spawning pretty far away from their base, but Steve and Alex are able to figure out where they need to go. As they’re walking, Archer pulls out an ominous potion and says that he got it from that pillager patrol he got his crossbow from and asks what it does. Steve tries to explain that it will give him a bad omen effect that could spawn a raid if they go into a village. Not knowing the weight of that situation if it were to happen, he says that it sounds really cool and drinks it, conveniently just as they’re approaching a village. As they hear the loud sound of a horn, Steve quickly demands that they go into a house and set their spawn in one of the beds. Once they do that, they quickly run back outside to see pillagers approaching the village, as well as a bunch of villagers scrambling to get inside and two iron golems charging to attack. A little after the first wave, Archer find a pink sheep and affectionately names it curly, but Kay snaps that he can fawn over his new pet later and that they need to fight right now. About halfway through the raid, Kay is killed by a swarm of vexes, and that’s when the major twist is revealed. Alex lunges forward to grab Kay’s inventory, and through the window of one of the villager houses, she sees Kay hyperventilating and sobbing with her chest to her knees. Alex rushes inside to see what’s going on, tells Kay that she managed to grab most of her inventory other than some random seeds and mob drops like bones and gunpowder, then starts to comfort Kay. For a while, Kay is too distraught to speak, and after a moment, Steve and Archer finish the raid and rush in to check on Kay as well. Once they comfort her and tell her that everything is okay now, Kay reveals her big secret, aka the big twist of the story.

After a very emotional moment, the four start their final adventure- killing the Ender Dragon. There’s a quick little montage of them following the eyes of ender as they float through the sky, but just as they’re about to dig down to reach the stronghold, Herobrine spawns, ready to fight. Steve and Alex try to charge at him, but he blasts them back with a single lift of his arm because he’s just stupidly overpowered like that. Kay and Archer then try to attack him, but he blasts Archer back and physically pushes Kay back, asking if she was actually capable of helping defeat the Ender Dragon knowing her past in a sneerful tone. Kay is at a loss for words, but luckily, Archer is able to sneak behind him and blast him with a firework, which causes him to be disoriented and give Steve time to start slashing at him while Alex helps Kay up. Once Kay is up, the four of them attack Herobrine using a strategy similar to how they fought the Warden, and soon, he’s not dead, but he’s down and unable to fight. Kay steps on his chest and points her axe at him, telling him that this would be a good time to start begging for mercy. He obliges and starts begging, saying he’ll do anything to satisfy her. Kay says that he needs to give Ender the opportunity to travel to the overworld and that if he ever gives them trouble again, it’s on fucking sight if you know what I mean (she’s gonna kill him). Then, they dig down to the stronghold.

Once they reach the portal and activate it, Steve and Alex say that they’re gonna jump in and get a head start on getting rid of the end crystals, and that Kay and Archer can jump in whenever they’re ready. Standing at the edge of the portal, Kay takes a deep breath and Archer grabs her hand. He says “the end?” And Kay replies with a nod and says “the end.” In reference to the two Xbox achievements you get when you enter the end and kill the dragon. They enter the portal, and the final battle begins.

When they enter the portal, they see that Steve and Alex have just finished breaking the end crystals, and that the dragon is currently spewing acidic dragons breath at them. Over the roar of the dragon, Archer tells Kay that he’s gonna try and shoot the dragon with his crossbow while she needs to watch for it to perch so she can get some melee hits in. Once she starts doing it, Steve soon catches up to her and starts attacking the dragon as well. Soon, the dragon is at low enough health that one critical hit would be enough to kill her. The dragon perches, Steve steps aside and tells Kay to do the honors, and she finally kills the Ender Dragon for the first time in her life. Once they go through the portal to go home. Kay is faced with the end poem, which leaves Kay in tears by the end of it. Once she spawns back into the overworld, Archer asks her what’s wrong, which she responds to by saying that she’s fine and just thought the end poem was really beautiful.

Timeskip

As per any movie or tv show, there’s gonna be a timeskip at the end showing how everyone is doing since the action has settled down. In this case, the timeskip is 5000 days later (Minecraft days obvi). The base is much bigger and has multiple houses and farms. One of these houses is made of terracotta, implying that they eventually did explore that badlands biome. Alex is filling up a creeper hole in the distance, and Steve and Kay are sparring with netherite swords. Steve accidentally kills Kay, but luckily her inventory was empty so all that dropped was her sword. In a panic, Steve runs into the terracotta house to see if Kay is okay, and while she’s a bit shaken up and catching her breath, she’s a-ok. Suddenly, Archer bursts in, tightly clutching a rolled up map. Kay asks what it is, and Archer explains that there’s some sort of new structure called a trial chamber, and that he really wanted the two of them to explore it together. Kay and Steve both go outside, and Kay asks Steve and Alex if they’re coming with, and they both say that they can trust that Kay and Archer can handle themselves, and to just make sure that they remember to bring totems, shulker boxes, fireworks, and some nether quartz ore in case their elytra break on the way (there’s mending on their elytra so it’ll heal when they collect xp). Kay and Archer tightly hug Steve and Alex, and without thinking, they shout a quick “thanks mom, thanks dad!” Before running off in the direction the map is pointing in, which Steve and Alex are both beyond happy to hear.

The Twist

Disclaimer: skip to the post credits scene section if you don’t want spoilers

Anyway, the big twist is that this isn’t Kay’s first time in a Minecraft world, and that’s why she’s so much more experienced than Archer. She had a giant, beautiful base in a badlands biome, and she hadn’t been in a Minecraft world since the Nether Update. She was really proud of her world, and since she was in her netherite armor full time, that’s why her avatar had socks but not shoes. She died in the fight against the Ender Dragon, and the way she died she finds really embarrassing; she was standing too close to one of the end crystals when she blew it up and got blasted into the void. Since it was a hardcore world, she didn’t respawn and lost her world. From there, she kind of just floated around in a comatose state for who knows how long until she spawned into that world with Archer. Due to this past trauma, she craves adventure but is also extremely afraid of death, having a panic attack whenever her health drops down any lower than five hearts. Luckily, once she told everyone this secret of hers, they accepted her. This is also why Steve let her get the final hit on the dragon.

Post Credits Scene

So, the first part of the credits before the post credits scene is basically just a slideshow of the different voice actors and directors in the Minecraft font being listed, one name on each slide. The background of each slide shows the voice actors’ respective characters in some sort of action pose in various biomes (of course, Kay is gonna be in a badlands biome). Also, since I feel like we can’t have a Minecraft movie without it, this part of the credits is gonna be paired with Don’t Mine At Night as the song.

One day, the four of them wake up with their gamer tags above their heads. Steve explains what’s happening, but is also kind of confused on why it’s happening just out of the blue. Since Steve and Alex are npc’s in this world, their gamer tags are just Steve and Alex. Kay and Archer on the other hand… their gamer tags are a bit more embarrassing (their gamer tags are in the second paragraph of the characters section). Of course, they start laughing at each other, and at the same time are both trying to defend themselves. Soon this ends up in them getting into a physical altercation, and Alex separates them, telling them to calm down. One of them says “yeah, calm down *gamer tag*” which triggers the other to lunge at them, and it cuts to the rest of the credits.

The rest of the credits is just like any other list of credits, and it will have pigstep by Lena Raine playing.

Be sure to give me any opinions or feedback! I really wanna know how you guys feel about my version of the Minecraft movie! Thanks for reading!

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