#miscarriage thoughts

[driverlando]

hey guys, I’ve been a bit quiet and inactive this past week because, unfortunately, I had another miscarriage. I needed some time away from social media to just rest and process everything, so I’ve been laying low. It’s been a rough few days, but I’m here and slowly getting better. 🫶

[maximumkillshot]

I Can't Lose You-Part 11

Warnings: Triggering memories of the miscarriage, Some is grabbing, shoving, graphic violent thoughts, Cursing, Bin Loses It, threats, Bin hurts himself unintentionally oh yeah and Han loses it too

Pairing: BangChan x Reader?

Characters: Bin, Soo 😒, Han, Stray Kids, Chan is mentioned quite a bit.

A/N: Happy Birthday @galamxy and I am so sorry to everyone in advanced. This one is gonna hurt, but... BUT I am letting you know ahead of time

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Previously: “He won’t… too much respect… I however,” I stated very matter-of-factly, “Have a very hard line, Soo. I don’t touch women in any violent way ever… But if anyone messes with my family and with whe people I love? All of a sudden gender is irrelevant… So the next time you speak, I recommend you speak with that in mind.” I saw the blood drain from her face, I felt a new level of base in my voice. The anger is starting to reach a level I can’t control.   Minho added on with “Usually I’d have too much respect. That was before what you said about Y/N.  About her losing the baby being a good thing. That it’d make the divorce less messy…” My eyes went wide as my heart dropped on the floor, shattered. When did this happen? How did this happen? I looked away from Soo for the first time, “I don’t think I heard you correctly… She said WHAT?” 

Now:

I can’t believe that this came out of her mouth. Given I never would’ve expected this type of behavior from her either but here we are. I looked at Minho’s face and I could tell he wasn’t lying. I looked at Hannie who was sitting on my opposite side and his face said the same. 

If I wasn’t sitting I would have probably collapsed. I went from a relaxed position to leaning forward, cracking my neck as I tried to contain my rage. I wiped my hands down my face, Changbin, calm down, I told myself. I went back to what Seungmin told me, “You promised her you were coming back.”  

I heard Hannie say… “Wait.”

When I looked at him, his mouth was open in utter disbelief, “You knew…” he said to Soo… When I looked back at Soo all I saw was a smile creeping onto her face, “You knew they were trying to conceive?! When Chan told you, there was no gasp of shock, no condolences… even now…  You’re smiling because you knew…”

Soo smiled saying, “How do you think Chris and I started talking in the first place? It was clear she was broken, now the outside matches the inside. Maybe this will be a warning for you.” She looked at me, “She’s damaged goods, don’t you want to know what it’s like to be a dad?” How dare she. I looked at Han as he stared daggers at her. Hannie is not known for becoming angry, but he looks enraged at what Soo just said. I looked back to Soo.

I looked into her eyes as I wondered what she meant by that. ‘She’s damaged goods, don’t you want to know what it’s like to be a dad?’ I’ve never been good at hiding my fondness for Angel, that’s for sure, but I don’t know where she’s getting at. Angel has only had eyes for Chan, her person… hurt my person.

 I don’t know why she would throw something like her fertility at me like it’s some deal breaker. It isn’t. I could live in a shack with nothing except Y/N and I would be the richest man on the planet. Children would be nice, but if it meant giving her up, I don’t need kids, I need her. This is all hypothetical of course.

I was sure she could feel the tension shift as I could feel my face contort from the rage, “So not only are you so fucking desperate that you’ll cheat with your best friend’s husband. Not only will you cheat knowing they were trying to conceive, but when they finally do conceive, after TWO YEARS you say that it was a good thing that child died because it would make the divorce less messy?!” I've never felt this level of rage. It was almost accusatory the way she threw Y/N’s fertility. Like because she didn’t get pregnant, that’s why they cheated. 

I am feeling so many levels of disdain, hurt, and disbelief. How could anyone say that about anyone else? It is unfathomable to me how someone could hurt someone else like this. How someone could think that let alone voice it. That takes it to a different level of disgust for me. 

Han sighed as he said, “And you sit there, almost blaming Y/N for your sins? For Chris’ sins? You don’t know anything about what she’s been through. Constantly waiting for Chris, him making her feel like an afterthought,” Han added on, “telling her he has no time for her, that he has more important things to do. One of us,” He pointed to himself and me, “One of us slept in the same bed as her every night because she’d cry to sleep on her own. You know what? We’d do it again. All of it. Because she is worth that and more.” I could feel Han vibrating with emotion. I can tell I’m not the only one that is feeling this. 

I tacked on, “Meanwhile he’s cheating with you,” I scoffed, “Talk about trading in a diamond for a piece of glass. You are the lowest of the low. She isn’t broken. You two are!” I took a breath, “I don’t know what to do with what you’ve done. I’m hurt and angry, and I’m not even the one who was cheated on!” I barked at her.  

The images of me doing things I didn’t want to do started flashing in my head. She isn’t a woman anymore, hell, she isn’t even a person. I could see myself grabbing it by the throat, picking it up, throwing it across the room, and punching, and screaming while I did it. Using its face as a punching bag. I can’t… As much as I want to, I can't.  A sinister, yet just voice playing right next to Seungmin's in my mind, It’s right there in front of you. You’re in pain, agony even… Take it out on one of the people that caused it. No one would blame you. Meanwhile, Seungmin’s voice is still playing, “Don’t make her lose you too.” 

I almost lunged out of my chair before I caught myself. Instead of getting up and doing what I wanted, I screamed, “HOW?! How did she find any humanity in you!? A child died, an innocent child who did nothing wrong…died. Gone, will never have the chance to breathe. Somehow, you view it as a good thing?! THEN YOU COME HERE!!” I could feel every cell in my body burning, trying to just reach across and… “ YOU COME HERE, TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOU’RE HER FRIEND?!”

I looked at her as I grabbed her shirt, I got up dragging her to her feet along with me, “You want to know what I’m thinking right now?” I smiled at her. This felt good. Seeing her realize just how much danger she is in. She thought I wouldn’t move. Like I said before, I don’t discriminate when it comes to protecting my own.

I could see the tears start to form in her eyes as I vaguely heard Han, “Hyung? Bin!”

“I am thinking about how easy it would be to turn your face into a fucking suggestion, make the outside match the inside. Disgusting, putrid, worthless, bloody… Han and Minho are strong, but not strong enough or fast enough to stop me from crushing your windpipe with one hand.” I grabbed the back of her neck, squeezing enough to make it known. 

She yelped as I continued, “It wouldn’t be hard for me. I lift twice your weight for fun.” I laughed, “No one’s here to save you. Especially not your shitty boyfriend… He’s nursing a broken nose at home…”

I felt her body tense, “I don’t want to stop at a broken nose for you…” I chuckled. “I want to send a message so badly. I want to put you in the ICU,” I seethed just inches from her face.“I was happy you stood away but now you DARE walk into here. Demanding to see her, after you say something so vile, so…”  

I could feel Han trying to loosen my grip, I was barely registering anything except her deer-in-the-headlights stare, “Now that you tried to come here when I wasn’t here, trying to capitalize,” I saw that same smirk playing at her lip. “I was going to let you go if I ever saw you again… Now..” I could feel my chest heaving as I said, “Now I want to make it clear to YOU and CHRIS… you come near her… I’ll kill you… I meant it when I said it to him, looks like he needs a reminder. You’ll have to pay for both sins.” She started yelping as I screamed, “SHUT YOUR MOUTH. You have no RIGHT, no SHAME…” I don’t recognize my voice, it’s so heavy, leering… They turned you into this. Show them. 

I heard Minho, “Changbin-ah I know…I want to hurt her too, I want it so badly but we can’t… We aren’t them, Bin.” I shrugged him off as I dragged her to the nearest wall and shoved her against it.

I threw my fist at the wall right next to her head. I felt it vibrate with the hit, “You have no idea what I want to do to you right now. It is taking everything in me not to destroy you.”  She was whimpering as she cried, trying to look away from me. “The pain that I want to put you through is nothing compared to what Y/N is going through. Look at you, a coward that can’t even look me in the eye. She is more than you could ever be.” 

I could feel myself wanting to pick my fist back up and land it on her face so badly. I have never wanted to hurt anyone, until now. The disrespect, the pain, and the absolute lack of empathy make me want to tear her apart. I have been holding in so much pain and agony for so long that I feel like I’m going crazy. I need someone to take it out on. Who better than one of the people who stabbed Y/N in the back? Who else is more deserving than one of the people who killed her child? This makes sense, call it karmic justice. Even breathing just thinking about it feels better. 

I can vaguely hear Hannie… Not like I really can hear much of anything aside from Soo’s pathetic whimpers. For someone so brazen to be this cowering mess, all for seeing me like this. I felt my features soften at that as I smirked at her, even chuckling slightly at the fact that for some reason she decided coming down here was a good idea. If anything this is Darwinism at work, right? A part of me thinks so, at the very least.

If I were to fully embrace this… the impending feeling I knew would cause goosebumps at the relief. Seungmin’s in my head again, “Y/N deserves everything we got.” This mental tug of war makes me feel like I am being torn in half, I just want to cause pain. I want Soo to hurt. I made my decision, Get your relief… It’s not a person…

As I went to shift my weight, I heard “Binnie?”.... Y/N?

I could hear her coming from a phone. That once melodic voice quaking. She was reaching for me. Begging me by only saying my name. My whole body froze, and my vision stopped narrowing, hearing her. “Binnie? Hannie, where's Binnie?” I heard her say again. She sounds so scared. I could tell she had been crying, she needed me. I can’t do this to her. 

I saw Han come into my peripheral, his phone in his hand.

“He’s right here Anya... Binnie’s right here.” Hannie’s voice is so stiff, he’s never afraid of me. I hate it when people are afraid of me. When my eyes flicked to Han I could see the fear. He put his hand on my arm that I was holding Soo’s shirt with. That touch helped me ground myself and see things from a different perspective.

“Why is Binnie not talking Hannie? Did I do something wrong?” I heard her, loud and clear as I tried to gain control of my body again. I wanted to scream,

“No, it’s not your fault, Angel. No, I am just… I’m hurting, Love. I’m hurting so fucking bad and I don’t know where to place it. I only ever went to Channie Hyung when I was in pain. I don’t know what to do knowing he was the one that caused it, Angel. He hurt you, I trusted him to take care of you, you’re my heart… When you cry, I cry; when you hurt, I hurt. You could never do something to warrant me not talking to you. You have never done anything wrong, I love you so much,” My mouth isn’t working as the memories flash. My chest wants to cave in.

“No nothing’s wrong, Anya. Binnie is just listening to your voice, is that okay?” Han asked so gently. How is he so gentle right now? The woman in front of me is one-half of the reason Y/N is here. She’s in my hands right now. The screams replay in my head as I look at Soo, If she knew she never would’ve come here, I’m lying to myself now as my grip tightens on her. 

“Yeah, is Binnie coming back? He promised he would,” I heard her ask. Of course, I’m coming back. She’s my home, how could I leave her? Especially like this. Soo isn’t worth it, and neither is Chan, but I want them to pay. I felt my hand throb against the wall. Feeling the texture as it stands against my fist take some of the haze away. Pleading to Y/N in my head, “I want them to pay, pleeease let me make them pay. Let me make sure they’ll stay away, Angel. I need to protect you, you’re the only part of me that matters.” “Hannie I want my Binnie I’m scared,” I heard her so clearly, I could even hear the sniffles that she would allow to escape every once in a while. I could feel myself at war with what I wanted and what was right. I want to kill Soo, but killing is wrong. So I was stuck there with the love of my life practically begging me to choose her over what I wanted to do. I was trying so hard to open my mouth and try to sound strong but I was three seconds from collapsing. I’m scared too, Angel. I’m terrified. I can’t lose you. I won’t survive it. I’m not me without you. 

“M’here Angel. I’ll..” my voice betrayed me. I cleared my throat, “I’ll be there in a minute. I’ll see you soon,” I felt tears brimming in my eyes as I looked at Soo. I could see the shock on her face, that has to be enough for me. 

At the end of it all, hurting Soo would do nothing. It won't get Y/N anywhere. The pain, the suffering, it's all still going to be there, only she'll have to face it all without me. I can't do that to her. It's not fair, what happened to her. I have to let Soo go, to protect my Angel. That is more than doable. 

Hannie hung up the phone and I looked at Soo as I said, “You aren’t worth any ounce of effort anyone puts towards you. You are a nerveless little leech that sucked the life and kindness out of someone I love very much. You tell Chris what you saw here today. You tell him every detail… Especially this… If you or Chris ever try to come near her uninvited… I will not be this kind again… Do you understand me?”

She nodded violently as I released my grasp on her shirt, instead shoving her by her shoulder to Han, almost knocking both of them down in the process as I said, “Han, get her out of here before I change my mind.” I faced the wall as I tried to breathe. I have never wanted to kill someone more than just now. I’m scared, relieved, and also guilty. 

Just the fact that I was so close to possibly losing Y/N again while I was gone, shot through me like lightning in that car. Now I’m here and the threat’s gone. The original one is. That was relieving, but now I am so guilty.

If Y/N saw me like this, she would’ve been disappointed. Is that the kind of man I am? 

As soon as I register the door closing my knees hit the concrete and I’m blinded by my tears. Who am I? Soo was so scared… and I liked it? I wanted more of it. I wanted her to feel the fear Y/N felt. The pain she feels. Y/N would never want that for anyone. I almost caused her more pain. For what? To satiate my own need? 

“What kind of man am I?” I asked no one in particular as I felt the rage ebbing into whispers, staring at my hands, one already developing bruises from how hard I punched the wall, the other aching from how tight my grip was on Soo’s shirt. An image flashed of when Y/N went limp in my arms, her screams louder than the last time. My shoulders shook with the sobs that left me then. 

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder as I heard Minho speaking softly, “You are the type of man that would do anything for the woman he loves. You’re the type that takes her pain as your own.”

I turned to Minho and said, “Hyung, I don’t know what to do. I can’t take it away.” my tears started running down my face. All I heard was Minho saying, ‘I got you’ and I let go collapsing on him. 

Minho said right into my ear, “You are a loving, caring person, Changbin. You trusted a person with your own heart and they destroyed it. It’s natural to want blood, Bin. You just proved to yourself that love is more important than revenge. You, Seo Changbin, are the type of man that is rarest of all.” I continued to cry as I held onto Minho, “You are unapologetically you. You live with your heart on your sleeve and you give without asking for anything.” “I can hear it all… Every time I hear her screams, I feel her go limp in my arms, I see the blood,” I gulped in the air, “I wa-want to make it better, Hyung. Why can’t I take it from her?” I asked.

I felt Minho quivering as he sniffled himself, “No one can, I’m sorry Changbin-ah.” I knew that answer. Logically I knew it. “But what you can do..” I looked at him, “You can show her, that loving a person is unconditional. It is as simple as breathing. You show her, that no matter what she can or can’t give you, you’ll be there. Not because you have to, but because you want to.”

I nodded as I tried to stop the tears with Minho saying periodically, “Take your time… Breathe, you’re okay. You’re good.” I was mumbling to myself how I couldn’t believe I thought what I thought and he responded with, “Don’t go there. I’m proud of you for stopping and thinking. That’s what matters.”I wasn’t sure how much time had passed as I heard Minho say, “Let me see your hand.”

I showed it to him. I could see the black and blue forming on my knuckles. When he asked me to make a fist, it was a little painful but not that bad. He smiled as he said “Good news, nothing looks broken… the bad news is there is no way you’re going to be able to hide it from Y/N. So what’s the plan Changbin, any ideas?” His eyebrows went up in question. 

“I’m not going to lie to her, Minho. I can’t.” I said plainly. She is already so fragile and lying wouldn’t help that. I also can’t tell her that I lost it and almost hurt Soo. Given, I was mad, but still. I don’t know. 

His eyebrows furrowed as he smirked, “You know sometimes you’re a little too chilverous.” I just grinned as he continued, “Alright I guess I’ll have to explain it… As far as I’m concerned you slammed your hand in the car door when you were trying to get back here. Sound good?” I nod. 

I heard Minho’s phone go off and I saw Lix’s face on the screen, “one guess” he giggles. He picked it up and put it on speaker.

“MinMin where’s my Binnie?” I heard Y/N loud and clear through the phone. She sounds a little better, I could hear the tease in it. “We were just wrapping up here Beautiful, everything okay?” He asked, smiling at me. 

“Yeah, just Inn-ah trying to eat the last brownie I’m saving for Binnie.” She giggled. My heart swelled. She was saving it for me? I haven’t had one of those in… almost a year now that I think about it.

I heard Inn-ah in the background, “Just a nibble, Y/N?” 

She giggled as she said, “Binnie hasn’t had one in a while Innie, and you live with the guy that makes them.” She laughed. She’s thinking about me? After all of this. She’s focused on me?? I think Minho could see the confusion as he looked at me.

I giggled as I said, “What about the bag of snacks we brought for the boys Seungmin?” I heard Seungmin’s voice loud and clear, “They picked it clean, vultures… I’m surprised the bag’s still there.” I heard Y/N laugh slightly louder. It melted me to my core as I laughed.

I heard Hyunjin say, “Says the one who had a whole pan of brownie to himself. I don’t mind eating clean but had I known I would’ve fought you for that pan, Seungmin.” I could see Hyunjin’s face in my head glaring at Seungmin. 

I laughed as I said, “OK Angel we are on our way. Sorry, it took so long.” I smirked at the phone, I couldn’t wait to see her. I always get this swell in my heart that spreads to all of me when I see her. 

“It’s okay. As long as you’re coming back that’s all I care about.” She giggled. Minho hung up and said, “What happened in this room, stays in this room.” I think he could tell that I was embarrassed about my breakdown. I’m used to being the person that people go to for support. I am rarely the one to need the support. This was Minho’s way of saying my breakdown stays with him. I patted him on the back, silently thanking him. 

When we walked out into the hallway I could see Hannie waiting by the door. Minho motioned for Hannie to come towards us. When he met us Minho whispered, “Follow my lead.” With that we walked back to the room together, Minho leading. When Minho went in he explained the hand injury away, “First thing’s first Beautiful. You’ll notice that Binnie’s hand is bruised, it was an accident, he’s fine and it’s not broken, okay?” He looked relieved as he motioned for me to come in.

When I came in I was met with a gentle smile from her. At that moment I realized something. Soo never told me why she was here. I know why she’s here. Chan was banking on me losing it, seeing her. He was banking on me getting myself arrested or at the very least kicked out so that I would be ripped away from Angel’s side. I smiled wider knowing that not only did I keep my cool, but this experience that he caused just made me want to stick closer to her. 

Every time it feels like the first time I see her. Always takes my breath away. Even in a hospital gown, chocolate remnants on her face. I smiled at her, “Hi, Angel, sorry it took a bit. You have something for me?” I asked as I went to sit in a chair. 

She looked at me with furrowed brows, “I want my Binnie cuddles,” She said as she reached out for me. How could I deny that? I saw Seungmin get up and walk to a chair, sitting down. 

I smiled at her as I nestled up to her in the hospital bed. She smiled as she handed me the last piece of brownie, “It’s the corner piece, your favorite.” 

She looked up at me and wiped a tear from my face, when did I start crying again? “Why are you crying, Binnie?” 

I answered honestly, “I’m so happy to see you giggling and seeing you save this for me. I’m just lucky to know you, let alone be a part of your life.” I dried a tear from her too as I smiled. 

She buried her face into my side as she giggled. That made everyone in the room break out in smiles. The rest of the night was passed in smiles and laughs until eventually, Y/N started yawning. I looked at her trying to fight the sleep until I guided her head to my chest again. She was sleeping before I could even notice. One by one, everyone was asleep except for me. Seeing everyone asleep. I permitted myself to pass out for the night too, and before I knew it, I was out like a light myself. 

_______________________________________________________

WANT MORE? Tell me So! Want in on the tags? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!

[goddessofroyalty]

i like angst, sorry ┐(´∀｀)┌ but continuing the whole 'how does viktor's side of the family cope with his impending(sp?) death' i cant help but think how they react to the news that hes having a baby cause like. theyre genuinely happy for him! hell it probably doesnt even register to the kids that a pregnancy could be bad for his body. but silco damn well knows that his own pregnancies almost killed him and before the whole Eye/Face Thing he had mostly decent health. its probably why he was always so insistent that viktor only have kids when hes actually ready for it. silco does kind of want to murder jayce a little more than usual, and its not just cause hes a piltite (he should KNOW if he loves viktor as much as he says he does that this all could potentially kill him!)

also, i forgot to add this in the previous ask, but silco (and lowkey vander lbr) ends up feeling awful for thinking all of that cause he fucking adores naph. like he still thinks viktor and jayce couldve been smarter about it but he genuinely loves that little brat so Where Does He Go From There, yknow?

Never apologize for liking angst (and don't worry I can just add the addition on while responding).

There's a reason I tend to go with Jayce and Viktor having their baby more early in their partnership than later (and reason why I generally go with them having only one) - as Viktor's illness progresses the chance of him surviving a pregnancy decreases.

Not only did Silco emphasis that his kids shouldn't have kids until they are themselves actually ready he also emphasised (to them all, but especially Viktor) that they don't need to even have kids at all. He's not the kind of parent to actively wish for having grandchildren (and he's pretty sure he's going to get some with the amount of kids he has) and he's also very pro adoption as a child acquisition method (going so far as to joke at times that if he had of known Vander would be as happy with adopting as he was he wouldn't have bothered going through pregnancy as many times as he did).

Funnily enough because all the kids grew up with Silco's horror pregnancy stories (there are just part of his regular monologues to them) their first reaction to finding out Viktor is pregnant is all some variation of "but why would you do that?" As the pregnancy progresses though they get more excited. They do know pregnancy can be dangerous (again Silco monologues) but I don't think they fully appreciate the risk - it's more kind of something to joke about to them.

There's no point in time or change to the situation that would make Silco not at least a little mad at Jayce getting Viktor pregnant. And honestly Viktor's getting a bit annoyed about it because they are in their mid-20s, independently wealthy, and have grand-parent support from both sides. They are in a far better position than Silco debatably was for any of his (and far better than he was when he had Viktor). Yes, Viktor's health is a concern, but that's why they're going to have doctors involved for the whole pregnancy. Viktor has calculated the risk and come to the side that it's worth it. Unless Silco wants to offer something helpful to the situation he can fuck right off with his opinion.

In Jayce's defense I don't think he was really aware of how bad pregnancy can go until Viktor gets pregnant and he starts reading up about pregnancy (because he's the kind of person who would read up about it if his partner's pregnant) and starts finding out about all the potential complications. And now he is aware he is very worried because he knows Viktor isn't as healthy as the average person and he cannot lose him.

I don't think Silco realised how much he would love his grandchildren until Naph is born. He's not a warm and fuzzy person and he knows it. He's protective of his children because it sucked for him to obtain them but he shouldn't have that with his grandchildren. He's very neutral on children that are not his own. So while he always planned on helping his children out however he could with his grandchildren I really don't think he expected how much he adores Naph from as soon as the boy's born. I don't think he feels that guilty about his thoughts before Naph was born - the pregnancy could have still ended badly he wasn't wrong. The fact that it turned out alright is lucky and, well, Naph's here now the risky part's over (now no trying to have another one you two).

Vander always knew he'd love his grandkid. His concern during the pregnancy was purely Viktor's health and prioritizing that over the baby. Once Naph is born and Viktor is fine that worry doesn't matter anymore and he can just dote on his grandchild.

[ellenchain]

Hey, if that one Viktor post you posted is a pregnancy post, could you tag for pregnancy please? I would be really thankful

Hi there!

I had drawn him with pregnancy in mind, but as he doesn't really look pregnant I didn't think a tag was necessary; plus Twitter and bluesky have shown that you can have other wild interpretations, all of which I thought were absolutely amazing - so it could be anything you see shining in Viktor!

But I have added the tag, albeit now it might be too late. Sorry if there was any unpleasantness here. i won't be drawing Viktor pregnant again though, so future triggers won't happen!

[seefasters]

the thing that trips me up. is that the birthing cabin already exists so someone must have refined the chip to do that. was gemma the test subject for that too

[guacamolleee]

the urge to give emmrich and my rook more children is strong...... so far there's manfred (of course), then 2 biological children, and 1 adopted foundling..... but what if.. what if. what if i give them more. what if. we know this man is happy to knock rook up as often as she wants. and my rook always wanted a big family.......... why stop..............

[kweenkatsuki-main]

“You’re getting too good at masking. I’m starting to not even know there’s something wrong.”

[joanna-lannister]

remember when jo*erys were like "Cersei can't be pregnant / is gonna have a miscarriage because Dany is gonna be pregnant with boat baby in s8 and two female characters can't be pregnant at the same time" like wtf was that? 💀 lol, lmao even

[katyon2020]

‼️‼️TW: Mentions of miscarriage, guilt complexes and awful systems ‼️‼️

Y'know what's awful?....

Because there's now no way in hell anyone would consider Yuno's """murder""" legit other than Yuno herself. (Like, girlie didn't even went through with the fucking abortion, she had a miscarriage. Even if you're anti-abortion, that's like a manslaughter at the absolute best...) This implies that, what counts as a "murder" depends purely on whether the prisoner considered what happened a "murder", not some established standard in MILGRAM. Meaning, all of the prisoners at the start, probably on some unconscious level considered what they did, "murders" no matter how much they were denying otherwise and the ones that don't anymore now, are entirely our fault.

[dearestdo3]

I saw your pregnant!Voldemort art, and I had this idea: (It may or may not be omegaverse) Voldemort and Harry are together, and he knows that Harry always wanted to have a family. So he does everything he can to get pregnant, but it's hard to conceive and when he does he has many miscarriages. Voldemort insists on keeping trying, but Harry doesn't want to see any more miscarriages. Voldemort thinks that Harry will leave him for not being able to have children. He knows that it's his fault that his body is not fit for pregnancy. He asks for one last try, and Harry accepts. He manages to get pregnant, during the gestation Voldemort makes a deal with Death, he agrees to lose all his magic in exchange for Death not taking his baby. The pregnancy is difficult and complicated, and ends in a long and painful birth. Death didn't say he wouldn't take Voldemort with him. Voldemort survives because he uses (unconsciously) the magic of love (he loves Harry and the baby). A girl is born and has magic. Voldemort loses his magic. The girl is named Eliana (means God has answered). Sorry if this is too much distressing, I just wanted to share this idea. ;w;

anon thank you so much for feeding me you absolutely have no clue how much i love angst in general!! whump and pregnant tom/voldemort is something ive desperately wanted for so long as well so im eating a buffet w ur ask 😭💕

link to post for self promo 😘

more rambles under cut!

ive always loved v's determination, so despite the miscarriages and the emotional + physical toll it takes on him, he def would still trudge forward bc he has a goal and he will tunnelvision until he gets what he wants. I'm thinking this would be omegaverse and v got hit with the worst baby fever he ever experienced in his life. It just so happened that he could feel how harry years for a family he can call his own so he'd start plotting in his head and execute it entirely on his own.

harry as you said of course hated seeing him doing that to himself and felt guilty over his wish that drove v like this, but one last time they tried for a baby (per harry's insistence that it will be the LAST time ever) and it actually worked <3

omega!v would be a force to be reckoned with definitely, w how protective pregnant omegas are in general. he's already a lot normally, but pregnant v? he will do everything to make sure the child survives if it means sacrificing lives

v losing his magic would be a very extreme situation though i feel like, since hes always been very very dependent on his magic and its something absolutely precious to him. but if there's no way else than to lose his magic in exchange for a life that is a part of his own, he'd take a looooong while to think about it first (even if harry promised he will protect v and the child)

and eliana is such a cute name!! 💚

deviating from your ask though, I'm more of a believer that if they were to concieve, harry and v would accidentally create a child and v is too proud to admit it wasn't part of his big master plan to keep harry with him lmao

Harry in my head would've had a horrific time trying to process everything and is so flabbergasted at how casual v is with this sudden revelation. Of course due to age, v's gaunt genetics, non-human body, the pregnancy is really hard on him that he can barely even do the simplest magic the more the baby grows. it kills him inside that he has to rely on harry/DEs for a lot of things, made him feel like he's weak and fragile and his ego can't handle it, so his mood worsened and he's far more intimidating/mean to harry/his followers than usual.

when the baby's born he will also be protective, rarely ever leaving the bed much less the bedroom. nobody but him and harry can meet the child, and this protective mood prevails until she can actually start walking on her own (like baby snakes leaving the nest after they hatch) 😊😊 harry is still finding his footing with this new weird family that v gave him but eventually he will grow into a dadgirl who does everything he can to influence his princess to sort into gryffindor and play quidditch like him lol

[michaun]

all ive done is complain about s2 of bad sisters and i haven't even touched on the worst aspect which is the becka pregnancy storyline wow establishing a female character doesn't want kids and making her pregnant immediately after and she just changes her mind and doesn't even mention abortion how feminist and original 🙄 and I laughed out loud at how gigantic the fetus on the sonogram was like can we please be serious for a second

[ebbpettier]

my favorite simon snow headcanon is "spells didn't affect simon correctly and he couldn't cast magician/human magic well at watford because it was an ugly duckling situation and the dragon wings were his swan moment before it all went to shit"

[maximumkillshot]

Another part of I Can't Lose You Tomorrow...

I DROPPED IT!!-CLICK HERE!

*Deep Breath* Hi Guys,

I am a few pages away from finishing this next part of I Can't Lose You... Here Are the Times.

NEW YORK,USA- 1/5/2024 5:00pm

LOS ANGELES,USA- 1/5/2024 2:00pm

Dublin, Ireland- 1/6/2024 10:00pm

Seoul,South Korea- 1/6/2024 7:00am

Melbourne,VIC,Austrailia- 1/6/2024 9:00am

See you there!

CATCH UP BELOW!

I Can't Lose you Masterlist-CLICK HERE

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[krohft]

amelia croft suffering multiple miscarriages and lara considering herself " incapable of keeping life " , discuss

[sojourner-between-worlds]

.

[justdrownherewithme]

my baby is dead

and all I got was

better luck next time

like this was a raffle ticket

a scratched-off hope

a spin of some cruel wheel

they handed me silence in a beige room

tucked in a manila folder

signed their names in ink

while mine bled in salt

no one teaches you

how to hold air in your arms

how to name someone

who never got to cry

my baby is dead

and I still feel the phantom

kick in the hollow of me

still dream in heartbeat monitors

and pale blankets

folded for no one

people say God needed another angel

or fate was saving me

but I needed my baby

needed nights of pacing floors

and first steps and scraped knees

not a condolence card

with a fucking butterfly

my baby is dead

and all I got

was a pat on the back

like grief is a game

I played wrong

like love

wasn’t loud enough to matter

better luck next time

they said,

as if I could

just try again

like hearts don’t remember

every name

they never got to call.