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no-144444 · 6 months ago

Note

HI!!!! I am such a huge fan of your work, could i request something with charles where the reader is max verstappens sister but she's a pop star (think sabrina carpenter) and charles and her are dating on the dl but he goes to her concert and gets spotted and then everyone goes crazy with fan theories and they hard launch with the music video, and max is pissed because a, she's off limits to drivers. and b, why didn't they tell him.

anyways, that was just my thoughts, thank you girl!

don't dim your light- c.l

summary: you have a secret boyfriend and an album coming and you realise that hiding yourself and your life only makes you feel like shit.

pairing: charles leclerc x fem! verstappen! popstar! reader

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Being the sister of Max Verstappen meant two things:

1: You were famous.

2: You were off-limits to every single other driver.

Too bad that you’d fallen for your brother’s rival (/husband???). Charles was perfect, everything you’d ever wanted in a man. He was kind, caring, thoughtful, and most of all… fucking gorgeous. It had been months of sneaking around because, while Charles didn’t feel scared at all to drive a car around at top speed, actually risking his life, he was scared of your brother. Like, scared to death.

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“Bebé,” he whined, holding you against him. “My love! Do not leave me here!”

You rolled your eyes, chuckling, as you pushed his hands off of you. “I have to catch my flight!”

“But if we don’t spend Christmas together I won’t see you until the summer!” he groaned.

“The joys of dating a popstar, I guess,” you shrugged, grabbing your suitcase. You pressed a kiss to his cheek and smiled. “I’ll see you in Monaco, alright?”

He frowned then pressed his lips to yours as hard as he possibly could. “I love you.”

“I love you too, you big sap,” you smirked. He rolled his eyes.

“You are so mean to me, you know that?” he huffed.

“Bye Charles!” you called after yourself, leaving his Monaco apartment.

It had been 7 whole months of bliss with Charles. Obviously, you’d met him prior to the first date, knowing him quite well from all the stories Max had told you, but shockingly, it took a Puma brand ambassadors dinner for him to make the first move. He was evidently very nervous, but you’d started to love his weird dorky qualities. He was sweet, and kind, and that’s all you really cared about.

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“London, can we make some noise?!” you cheered. The stadium roared back to you. You had done it. You’d sold out the O2 for 4 whole nights. You were one of the biggest pop stars on the planet. “Are you guys ready for one last song tonight?” they screamed back at you. “Alright, this one is new, I hope you like it!”

The intro to Bed Chem started, and you knew everyone already knew it (it had been leaked a few months ago), but you danced and sang it exactly how it was meant to sound. One thing you loved about being on stage is how free you felt. All of those people were there to see you, which melted your heart. You loved every single fan you’d ever come across and appreciated every single one of them. They made you, they made your success.

As the song finished, ‘new album out next week! xxx’ flashed behind you on the screen, and the crowd went wild.

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You walked into your dressing room, exhausted from the night, and slightly hurt that despite offering to fly them out, none of your family came. You understood, Max’s career was important, and it was his last chance before the regulations changed to get the most out of the car. He wanted his fifth so badly, mostly because he wasn’t sure he was going to stay around from 2026 onwards. He had a family now. He had a baby and P to take care of. He didn’t like the media circus that F1 had turned into, or the fact that it was a popularity contest. Your entire family had been built around Max, and you knew why, but it didn’t make it hurt any less when you were reminded of the fact that you were just the second kid.

“My love!” Charles cheered, wrapping you up in his arms, startling you. “You were incredible! You were amazing!” he pressed kiss after kiss to your neck and cheek as you hugged him back, ecstatic that he was here.

He had taken the time out of his insanely busy schedule, on a race week, to come see you on the literal other side of the world. He truly was the best boyfriend in the world.

“What are you doing here?” you chuckled, shocked by his presence. “You should be getting ready for Japan!”

He shrugged. “I’ll be fine in Japan, I wasn’t going to miss you performing!”

You pulled him closer once again, pressing your lips against his. “I fucking love you,” you whispered, trying to make your voice sound steady.

“I love you too,” you smiled, pulling back. The way he looked at you. All the love in the world. Like you hung the fucking stars just for him. He adored you, and you felt it. You felt bathed in his light the second he walked near you, that’s how much he loved you. “Don’t cry,” he frowned, wiping the tears you hadn’t even noticed were falling, away. “I hope they’re happy tears,” he teased.

You nodded, burying your head in his chest. “They are. They really are.”

He wrapped his arms around you and held you tight. “I’m glad.”

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y/nverstappen

liked by charlesleclerc, maxverstappen, and 8,983,837 others

y/nverstappen SHORT N SWEET OUT ON THE 6TH OF APRIL BITCHES!!!!!!! ROYAL COURT (with lady broski) OUT ON THE 8TH OF APRIL BITCHES!!!!

comments

user8: prepare to be SICK of me

brittanybroski: ROYAL COURT MENTIONED 💯💯💯💯💯💯 -> liked by y/nverstappen

user999: SHE'S GLOWING

user7: not the grinch picture 💀

maxverstappen: Congratulations Y/n! -> liked by y/nverstappen

user66: DID ANYONE ELSE SEE WHO WAS AT HER SHOW????? -> user92: LITERALLY! -> user933: charles what is you doing here loca?

calebhearon: SHE'S STUNNING -> liked by y/nverstappen

oliviarodrigo: and she's serving. as per usual. liked by y/nverstappen -> user88: LOCA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE -> user22: THE GIRLS ARE HEALING.

user09: now i need to know who bed chem is about... -> user44: thick accent... (charles leclerc) -> user94: officer it's this one! -> user88: on MY cellular device? -> user21: me when i'm delusional.

user802: BED CHEM ATE SO FUCKING HARD OMFG

user213: where is her family? she sold out the O2 for 4 consecutive nights AND is releasing her second album, and they're nowhere to be seen? jos 'i support my daughter' verstappen my ASS. -> user2342: right? It's so unfair, her entire life has been built around max and he couldn't even go see her on the biggest night of her life while pierre gasly and charles leclerc can? It's bullshit.

user90: she's so hot i cannot do this anymore.

user87: charles lurking in the likes...? -> user36: tbf a lot of the drivers follow her, it could be a coincidence.

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f1gossip

liked by pierregasly, landonorris, and 890,848 others

f1gossip Drivers Charles LeClerc and Pierre Gasly were seen at a Y/n Verstappen concert in London this week! They seemed to be enjoying themselves, though there was no sign of Max anywhere!

comments

user88: pierre and lando are messy

user99: WHERE WAS MAX? THIS WAS Y/N'S BIG MOMENT???

user929023: OMFG BED CHEM IS ABOUT CHARLES WTF -> user97437: no it's not she can't steal my husband -> user4: she can, and she did

user772: he looks so drunk in the last photo lmao

user942: WHAT A SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND!

user847: Pierre's sunglasses are taking me out rn 💀 -> pierregasly: what's wrong with them? -> user88: ARE CHARLES AND Y/N TOGETHER??? -> pierregasly: 🤷🤷🤷

user92: they'd be so cute together!!!!

user902: omfg max would KILL him if they're together

user935841: do we all remember the interview where max said he'd fucking shove any of the drivers off the track if they went for his sister? like does charles have a death with? is he not despressed enough?

user91234: charles when i catch you

user7: if he stole my wife, i'm going to be pissed (i've never met her and she doesn't know i exist)

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"People saw you today," you yawned, laying in bed with Charles. The concert was over, and Charles had surprised you with his presence, though it was more than welcome. You were both lying in the luxurious hotel bed as you settled down for sleep, his arms wrapping around you.

He nodded. "I know. I just thought people would assume we're friends though."

You rolled your eyes. Bullshit. “You’re such a bad liar,” you chuckled as his jaw dropped at the accusation.

“I am not lying!” he stressed, but his smirk gave him away.

“Charles LeClerc, you wanted people to find out, didn’t you?” you gasped, hitting him with a pillow.

“I did not!” he hit you back.

What ensued after was a pillow fight that ended with you holding him down against the bed, and his lips on yours. The amount of alcohol you'd both consumed meant that the kiss was messy, but amazing all the same. It was all teeth and tongue, all passion, all Charles.

“You were so pretty up there,” he whispered against your mouth, completely at your mercy. “Felt like you were singing just to me.”

You chuckled, pulling back. “Oh yeah?”

He nodded, biting his lip. “So perfect,” he sighed.

“I still think you wanted people to find out,” you argued, getting off of him.

“Well of course, but that’s-”

“Charles!” you squealed.

"My love!" he chuckled, holding you closer. "How in the world, do you expect me to try and hide the fact that I love you-?"

He was interrupted by your phone ringing. You groaned, he groaned, yet you got up and sat up, grabbing it, answering without looking at the caller id.

"Are you dating Charles?" Max's voice sobered you up pretty quickly. You stuttered for a moment, then laughed.

"W-what?" you questioned. "No."

He huffed from the other side of the phone. "Are you sure? What was he doing at your show?"

You rolled your eyes. "I don't know, maybe he actually enjoys my music and wanted to come see me? Is that so outlandish?"

"You know that's not what I'm saying."

"Yeah, you're not even interested in my life enough to ask. The shows were great, thanks for asking dickhead," you scoffed before ending the call and blocking his number. He was so... self-involved. He'd stopped caring about you and your interests when you were only kids, too focused on the plan to notice that fact that you were there, and that you adored your big brother. Nevertheless, he didn't care, so you had to stop caring too.

"Are you alright?" Charles whispered, wrapping an arm around you.

You nodded, too fragile to answer. You knew you'd break down crying if you answered verbally, so that would have to do.

"I'm sorry," he pressed gentle but grounding kisses to your neck and back as you gave yourself a moment to soak it all in. "I know how hard this is on you. I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to apologise for loving me," you whispered, your voice breaking.

He chuckled. "I'll never apologise for that," he smiled against your skin. "I'm just sorry that your family are... difficult."

You nodded, leaning into him. "They are."

"You were radiant up on that stage tonight," he beamed. "Don't let them dim your light, please baby."

You nodded. "You're right. No more dimming lights."

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The song was simple and from your next album, it could be your second single of the album, and you knew it was catchy and good. It was a good plan, a great plan, even. You and Charles would hard launch your relationship to the world with a music video appearance. Not only would it show the world your relationship, it would also be a great way to generate buzz for your upcoming album. Win-win. The idea was sexy and cool, and shooting it was as much fun as you'd imagined (aka, a lot of kisses, a lot of him touching you, and a lot of retakes), and by the end of the shoot you were convinced it was your best video yet.

You weren't going to tell Max before the video came out. You weren't interested in getting two different lectures, so you decided you'd prefer one long one. Charles supported your decision, and didn't tell anyone shit until the night the video came out.

By then, it was fair game.

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charlesleclerc & y/nverstappen

liked by pierregasly, arthurleclerc, oscarpiastri and 6,893,234 others

charlesleclerc isn't she lovely? please, please, please mv out now.

comments

user92: YOU'RE JOKING

user23: WHAT A PERFECT COUPLE

user9535: stood up and applauded.

user76: this is my niche and i'm so here for it.

brittanybroski: MY WOMAN, NOOOOOOOOO

user024: she's perfect. she is so perfect.

user924084208: can i be her when I grow up? (i'm 34)

user3: she's kind of a slut... -> user9: please please please for the love of god shut the fuck up

user45: idk who I want to be more -> user83: charles. -> user82: charles. -> user08424: charles. -> user36824: charles. -> user24: charles. -> user1: charles. -> user56: charles. -> user75: charles.

pierregasly: KNEW IT FROM THE START ->charlesleclerc: is that because we told you or...? -> pierregasly: trying to steal my thunder rn is CRAZY -> charlesleclerc: trying to make this about yourself rn is CRAZY -> y/nverstappen: BOTH of you are acting like idiots, please refrain

y/nverstappen: ilysm -> charlesleclerc: i adore you -> user923: sleeping on the highway tonight!

lewishamilton: :) -> charlesleclerc: thanks bud :)

user834: what does he see in her?

user2: what does she see in him?

user5: is she aware of his cheating scandals in the past? -> user34: it's almost like people can grow and change! hope this helps xxx

user645: she is about to get her heart broken

user2321: she couldn't have picked someone more... suited to her? -> user8: mate she's a popstar and the sister of Max Verstappen, what about Charles LeClerc isn't 'suited' to her?

francocolapinto: 😍😍😍 -> user830: what is blud doing?

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y/nverstappen

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, pierregasly, and 4,873,933 others

y/nverstappen just 2 days until the album, here's so photos of yours truly to hold you over 💋

comments

user935: anyone notice how max has been MIA and angry since her London shows?? -> user5684: i'm employed what does this mean? -> user33: stop trying to stir shit up bro

charlesleclerc: beautiful girl liked by y/nverstappen

user88: max looked like he was ready to kill charles today lmao

user93940924: she's glowing

user6: not mentioning charles i see... -> user9: girl fuck off -> user4: they've been publicly dating for 2 days, calm down.

user09: sigh... i could treat you better y/n... -> charlesleclerc: no you could not. -> pierregasly: let's reel it in buddy ffs -> charlesleclerc: what??? is defending my honour cringe now? -> pierregasly: not just now, it always was.

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When the album launched, you were nestled in your apartment, alone. You were so excited for a night nice in, but of course, your plans were foiled by a knock on the door, and an outpour of dutch from your brother's lips.

"Fuck off Max," you shouted from your side of the door. "I don't want to talk to you."

"I'm missing a race for this," he sighed, his voice softer than you'd heard it.

You opened the door, and he did something unexpected. He hugged you. A full-blown tight hug, the kind he hadn't given you since you were a kid.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"

You shrugged, pulling out of the hug. "I wasn't interested in the lecture."

"But I know Charles, I could've... I don't know, helped?" he paced around your kitchen. "I just... I don't understand why you felt like you couldn't tell me."

"Max, you said you'd shove anyone off track if they went for me, so I don't understand your disconnect. I'm happy with Charles, like really fucking happy. He makes me feel great, and he cares about me. He loves me. And I'm so sick of trying to make myself smaller so that i can fit into your life. I adore you Max, genuinely, I do. You're my big brother and I love you, and you should be celebrated for your incredible accomplishments, but so should I. I'm not going to sit here and make myself any more unhappy just because it'll make your life easier. I-I won't do it. I want to be able to post my boyfriend, go support him at races, and everything else all the other girlfriends can do. I'm not going to hide him or myself to make you more comfortable," you pushed through the tears building behind your eyes, and stared him right in the eyes. He needed to hear that your life wasn't just about him.

He was quiet for a moment. "I'm happy for you, and I'm sorry that I'm not very good at... being there for you."

He looked uncomfortable. He'd never been very good with his emotions, so that was probably the best you were going to get.

"Thank you," you smiled. "And you really didn't have to miss a race for me, but thank you anyways."

He nodded. "I care about you. I want you to be happy," he explained, looking down.

You were both silent for a few seconds.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" you offered.

He looked up and smiled. Same old Max. Same old you.

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y/nverstappen

liked by landonorris, charlesleclerc, maxverstappen, and 6,243, 563 others

y/nverstappen: and she's out! thank you all so much for the love, mwah!

comments on this post have been limited

maxverstappen: Very proud!

charlesleclerc: i love you so much you're so pretty (please please please let me come over tonight)

landonorris: SHARPEST TOOL IS SUCH A BANGER liked by y/nverstappen

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navigation for my blog :)

ferrari masterlist

1K notes · View notes

pucksandpower · 1 year ago

Text

Of Roomates and Revenge

Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader

Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg

Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so

Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink

I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.

The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.

In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.

The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.

Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.

Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.

Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox

I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.

What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.

Duties would include:

Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water

Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)

Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)

In return, you’d get:

A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)

Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry

Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)

First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make

The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.

Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.

No scammy offers or soliciting, please!

Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)

Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink

Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!

I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.

What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.

You’ll get:

Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district

Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment

Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas

As much wine as you can drink (and more)

In exchange, you’ll be expected to:

Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement

Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”

Refill wine glasses as needed

Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it

The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.

You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.

If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!

Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:

Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)

Compensation: €400 per event

Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.

A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.

Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:

Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike

Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)

Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits

Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose

We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.

Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.

If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!

No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.

P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)

Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)

Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations

I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...

I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.

I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.

That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Your main duties would include:

Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment

Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)

Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc

Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.

In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.

Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.

If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.

I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.

No weirdos please.

Hi,

Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.

I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).

A little about my qualifications:

Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics

Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄

Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway

Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)

No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry

In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.

Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!

I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!

Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.

Cheers,

Y/N

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 16h

My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!

I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.

A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.

This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:

“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”

Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.

Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.

I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.

My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.

I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.

I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.

Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.

u/chronicgossiper · 12h

Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.

Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h

Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.

u/chronicgossiper · 10h

Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.

u/NotBritneySpears · 9h

Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.

u/nosyandproud · 8h

Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?

u/NotBritneySpears · 7h

He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h

So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.

u/NotBritneySpears · 5h

It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h

Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.

u/nosyandproud · 3h

Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.

u/NotBritneySpears · 2h

Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h

This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!

u/NotBritneySpears

Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m

Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.

r/relationships

u/yourusername · 19h

I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?

Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.

About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.

Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.

From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.

But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.

I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?

In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.

Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?

Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.

Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!

The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.

Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!

u/judgingloudly · 18h

Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!

If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!

Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h

I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!

u/livefordrama · 16h

I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …

u/yourusername · 15h

Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!

As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!

Reply to u/yourusername · 14h

Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.

u/unpaidtherapist · 13h

Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!

Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.

u/everydayopportunist · 12h

This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂

u/devilsadvocate · 11h

I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.

My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!

Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h

I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.

The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.

r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 15h

AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?

I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...

A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.

She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.

Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.

But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.

Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”

I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”

I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.

The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.

It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.

After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.

But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?

I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?

Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?

I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.

Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.

But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.

Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?

Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?

u/juryofone · 14h

YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.

Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.

The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.

My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.

Reply to u/juryofone · 13h

I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.

Reply to u/juryofone · 12h

Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!

u/neutralpartier · 11h

NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.

The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.

u/glasshalfempty · 10h

ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.

My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!

Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h

This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.

Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h

Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.

u/criticaloverthinker · 7h

I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.

u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h

I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.

Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h

Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!

u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h

Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂

r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 8h

UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!

When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.

Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.

Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...

After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.

So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.

But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.

I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.

When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?

“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”

It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.

The limbo period was … not fun.

After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.

So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.

That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.

And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?

Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.

u/juryofone · 7h

Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.

But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!

u/neutralpartier · 7h

I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.

u/glasshalffull · 6h

As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.

I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!

u/romanticempath · 5h

What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.

I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!

u/fairytaledreamer · 4h

I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?

Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!

All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!

Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h

“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 21h

My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)

You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.

A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.

Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!

Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.

On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.

Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.

Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.

The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.

So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!

In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.

Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.

But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.

Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.

I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.

So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.

I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.

u/chronicgossiper · 18h

Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.

Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.

As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.

At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.

Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h

I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.

They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.

u/NotBritneySpears · 13h

Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h

Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.

Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.

u/nosyandproud · 10h

The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.

That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.

At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.

u/realitychecker · 7h

OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:

“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”

Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!

Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h

Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”

u/buildingbridges

OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.

My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...

r/ask

u/amateurdetective · 15h

I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code

I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.

So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.

Hear me out:

First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.

Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.

But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.

Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.

The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.

I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:

Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal

The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it

Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy

After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real

Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises

Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!

I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.

Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.

u/scepeticbynature · 14h

Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.

Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h

Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.

u/amateurdetective · 10h

I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:

A pair of feuding former childhood best friends

One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge

Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties

The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed

Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!

Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h

Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!

u/opinionatedtruther · 7h

Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.

I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.

But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!

u/amateurdetective · 6h

THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.

Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.

That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!

Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h

All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄

2K notes · View notes

rcklessheavn · 4 months ago

Text

𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐫 ── ★ ˙🏎️ ̟ !!

f1 driver!matt x influencer!reader au

summary: after influencer!reader is invited to give interviews at the grand prix event, she meets matt and everything changes for both of them.

intro pt. 1, pt. 2 pt. 3 pt.4

warning: none

disclaimer: english is NOT my first language

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 ༉‧₊˚.

Yy/n.y/l posted

liked by nicolassturniolo, tarayummy, samgolbach, & 110.8k others

2,345 comments

y/n.y/l i am already in love with you, monaco <3

nicolassturniolo i'm so excited to finally meet you!!

y/n.y/l same king sameee💗💗

tarayummy yessss queen!!! i´m so excited for you!!!

y/n.y/l thx bff!! ily <3

vinniehacker see u soon sis!!

y/n.y/l i still can't believe youre coming... they let anyone in these days🤩

vinniehacker ok rudeeeeee😔😔

y/nfan.user OMG IM SO PROUD OF YOUUUU!!

y/n.y/l couldnt have done it without you guys!!!💐

y/n.sturniolos22 WAIT WHAT IF SHE MEETS MATT!!!!

y/nlovesferrari OH GIRL I JUST KNOW THE VLOG WILL EATTT‼️‼️

sturniolos_fan OMG FINALLY!! SHE MADE IT!!! CANT WAIT FOR THE CONTENT!!!!!

Back to the beginning...

It all started one morning when you were filming a ‘day in the life’ vlog, an audience favorite. Everyone loved seeing how monotone—or exciting—your day could be, depending on your schedule that day. Your specialty was vlogging, mainly showcasing how far from perfect your life actually was, while still expressing how grateful and blessed you felt. And everyone loved you for it.

That filming day, you were being productive: cleaning your apartment, running errands, and answering emails by midday. As you scrolled through your inbox, a red, very familiar logo caught your eye. It had just landed in your inbox. The bright F1 logo made you freeze in your tracks.

Your whole life, you’d been a fan of Formula 1—blame Cars the movie, and your dad and older brother for waking up early to watch races when it was still strawberry shortcake and breakfast time. You grew up alongside race cars and Formula 1, and more specifically, Ferrari. They were your team since you could remember. So when you quickly scrolled down, eager to verify if the email was real, you saw both the Formula 1 and Ferrari logos. You thought you might faint.

You composed yourself and started reading:

YOU’RE INVITED TO THE MONACO GRAND PRIX

Dear Y/N L/N,

We are huge fans of your content and find it extremely engaging. We’ve heard of your love and admiration for both Formula 1 and our Ferrari family. We are inspired by your adventurous spirit and would like to support you through a partnership and experience that could benefit both you and us.

Our Ferrari family would like to present you with a proposal to experience our Grand Prix in Monaco! We will cover all your travel expenses, including air tickets and hotel stays. We would also love for you to interview our drivers and create content for our social media.

We look forward to hearing back from you.

Sincerely,

The Ferrari and Formula 1 Family.

You couldn’t believe what you were reading. This was your dream, something you’d always imagined, and now it was actually happening. You grabbed your camera, focused it on yourself, and began recording.

“Guys! I just got the most exciting and unbelievable email ever! Without revealing too much, I just want to say how thankful and blessed I am to have you all with me! I’m about to fulfill a lifetime dream, and I couldn’t have done it without you! This vlog is going to be so exciting, so stay tuned!” With a bright smile, you stopped the camera, and the realization of what was happening hit you.

You quickly grabbed your phone and called your agent, Hailey, just to confirm it was real and that everything was going to happen. The phone rang twice before Hailey picked up.

“DID YOU SEE THE F1 EMAIL?!” you blurted out.

Hailey chuckled. “YOU FINALLY SAW IT! I’ve been reading it for over 15 minutes waiting for your call!” she said, and you laughed.

“Well, I just saw it! Please tell me I can do it and that I’m free to go!” you begged.

She sighed dramatically. “I’d rather jump out of my third-floor window right now than tell you no. Did you really think you wouldn’t go? Your dad would kill me, your brother would kill me, your mom would kill me, and YOU most of all would kill me. And listen, even if we had something scheduled for those dates, I’d call in every favor just to move it. Oh, girl, we are going to Monaco!”

Hailey’s excitement made you grin. “UGH, Hails, you're the best!” you said.

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m employed,” she teased.

You both laughed, and then she became all business again. “Okay, I’ll email them back. You focus on looking for hotels, and we’ll regroup tomorrow to have a nice meeting and schedule everything. Sound good?”

“Absolutely perfect! I’ll call you tomorrow!” You both said your goodbyes and hung up. Everything felt like a dream, and you couldn’t wait for this adventure to begin.

The next few weeks were a blur of planning, scheduling, and packing for your dream trip. You vlogged every moment without revealing exactly where you were going, leaving your audience hanging. Your excitement was almost overwhelming, but you couldn’t deny the nerves creeping in. The idea of being surrounded by people you admired, the ones you’d seen on screens for years, was crazy to you.

The one thing you were most excited about? The interviews. You had no idea who would actually be willing to sit down with an influencer, but you didn’t care. What made your heart race was the thought of interviewing a certain driver—Matt Sturniolo.

He was an American, a triplet, and a rising star in Formula 1. Was he your celebrity crush? Not really. But, you weren’t blind. He had an amazing presence, both on and off the track. Funny enough, his brother Nick was a mutual friend on Instagram, and you’d talked a few times about hanging out at the Grand Prix, neither of you knowing who’d be there. Nick was an influencer with his own lip balm brand, Space Camp, which you loved—it was genuinely good stuff.

Chris, the other brother, was a loud, lovable figure in the social media world, owning his own clothing brand, Fresh Love, which was wildly successful. As for Matt, he was the quieter one in the triplet group, but still had a natural charisma that came through, especially in his brothers' videos. His passion for racing started at a young age, eventually leading him to Ferrari—the team he’d always dreamed of driving for.

You were definitely looking forward to interviewing him. You hoped you’d get to see beyond his public persona and uncover a little more of who he was—at least on the surface.

Present Day...

You’d landed in Monaco 12 hours ago, and so far, jet lag hadn’t been an issue. You’d managed to sleep through the entire flight. Arriving in the morning gave you the chance to explore the city and even see the track with a few others who had arrived early.

That night, you had nothing planned, so you decided to treat yourself to room service and relax. Tomorrow marked the official start of the event and all the activities you had lined up. You couldn't contain your excitement, so you made a small post on Instagram, revealing where you were. You scrolled through a few stories, liked some posts, and finally went to bed.

Tomorrow was going to be unreal.

a story by rcklessheavn

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ series link

⋆˙⟡ tag list

⤷ authors note: AHHHH!!!! i cant believe i'm finally starting this!! i had so much fun doing this, i hope you guys enjoy this first one :))

@courta13 @matthewsroses @mattswifeyy @sturniolomatthewb @nessabarretswhore @nickmillersn1gf @mattslefttoenail @thecrawlys @tuttifruttixx @obsessedwiththesturniolos @period-queen1 @pair-of-pantaloons @b4by-hon3y @idkwhatthisis2009 @malsmind @matts-247

#۫ ꣑ৎ sports car by cam ۫ ꣑ৎ #༺ stories by cam ༻#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt stuniolo fanfic #chris sturiolo fanfic #nicolas sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #rcklessheavn writes #chratt #chris sturniolo fluff

221 notes · View notes

understeeringirl · 3 days ago

Text

If we're pretending, let's be convincing

summary: the internet starts noticing. As the fake dating begins to spiral into something bigger, you and Lando hold tight to what’s always been yours: the inside jokes, the late-night calls, the unshakeable bond. warnings: social media chaos, public speculation??, emotional suppression, mutual pining if you squint pairing: lando norris x fem!reader word count: ~2.3k series: wrong side of the camera - intro - chapter one - chapter two - chapter three - chapter four - chapter five

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It starts with coffee.

You're walking down the sun-warmed streets of Monaco, sunglasses perched on your nose, a croissant in one hand and Lando’s hoodie drowning your frame. He’s beside you, matching your pace like it's second nature, cap pulled low, phone in one hand, a drink in the other.

Neither of you planned it. Not really. You just happened to both be hungry. You just happened to walk out together.

And someone just happened to take a photo.

You don’t even see them. But they see you. And by the time your croissant is half-eaten, the internet has seen you too.

By noon, it’s on Instagram. By three, there’s TikToks. By dinner, you’re the subject of a Reddit thread titled Lando Norris’ New Girlfriend: Who is She and Where Did She Come From?

You scroll through the headlines while Lando scrolls through his phone.

“‘Lando Norris Soft Launches Romance in Monaco.’” You raise your brows. “We’ve been launched. Congrats.”

He smirks, still looking at his phone. “Told you I was good at this.”

You throw a pillow at his head. He ducks. Laughs.

That night, he posts a photo. It’s not a selfie. It’s not even staged. It’s a blurry pic of you two from behind, walking toward the harbour. The caption reads: partners in crime (coffee edition)

You don’t reply. But you repost it to your story with a heart emoji.

The internet explodes.

Pierre sends a screenshot to the group chat and writes: finally. i was getting bored.

Your cousin texts you: are you serious or is this another one of your bits??

Even your mum likes the post.

You and Lando spend half the night scrolling. Sending each other the best memes. Making up ship names. Laughing until your stomach hurts.

But in the morning, you wake up to a tabloid headline calling you “F1’s new power couple.” And even though you know it’s fake, your chest feels weird.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time the next race weekend rolls around, the whispers have turned into headlines. Speculation runs rampant. PR teams start slipping your name into prep documents. Cameras linger on you longer in the paddock. Even the commentators mention you—just once, briefly, but enough.

And then comes the interview.

Lando’s halfway through a press day, sunglasses perched on his head, McLaren fireproofs zipped halfway. He’s relaxed, smiling. Playing it cool, like always.

And then the reporter asks it: “So… are the dating rumors true?”

There’s a split second where he almost laughs. But he doesn’t. Instead, he glances to the side and says, calm as ever, “I’d rather keep that between us.”

And that’s it.

You watch it later from your phone, curled up on your bed, biting the inside of your cheek.

It’s weird how convincing he sounds.

He calls that night. You answer before it finishes ringing.

“Did I sound mysterious?” he asks.

“You sounded like a rom-com lead.”

“Perfect,” he says. “Just enough to send the TikTok girlies into a tailspin.”

You laugh. It’s easy. Normal. Like the last few days haven’t been weird at all.

“Honestly,” you say, “you’re a little too good at this.”

“It’s a skill,” he says. “Charm. Stage presence. Marketability.”

“Big words for someone who once wore socks with banana prints to a gala.”

“Fashion-forward,” he insists.

He’s quiet for a beat. Then, more casually: “It’s kinda fun though, right?”

You raise an eyebrow, even though he can’t see it. “You mean the public chaos?”

“The pretending,” he says. “It’s like… our most dramatic bit ever.”

You snort. “Yeah, well, let’s hope we don’t forget our lines.”

“Nah,” he says. “We’ve been best friends too long to screw this up.”

You hum in agreement. Let the silence stretch comfortably.

Then, he adds, “Wanna plan the next post tomorrow?”

You nod to yourself. “Sure. Might as well go all in.”

“Great. I was thinking: hand-holding. Candid smiles. Something painfully couple-y.”

You roll your eyes. “If you make a heart with your hands, I’m blocking you.”

“Worth it.”

You shake your head, grinning despite yourself.

Somewhere underneath the jokes and the staged softness, something itches at the back of your brain. But you don’t scratch it. Not yet.

Because this is still fun. Still safe. Still just a game.

And you’re both really, really good at games.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’re seventeen the first time it almost happens.

It’s the night after one of his junior wins—big, exhausting, emotional. You’re staying at a hotel in Belgium, sharing a room because it’s always been easier that way. The lights are off. The TV is on, volume low. You’re both lying in bed, barely touching.

He says something—quiet, tired, sweet. You don’t remember the words. Just the way his voice sounded in the dark. You turn your head to look at him.

He’s already looking at you.

There’s a moment. A tiny shift. He leans in, like instinct.

You don’t move. Don’t breathe.

But then his phone buzzes on the nightstand and the moment vanishes.

He turns away to check it. You close your eyes and pretend to sleep.

Neither of you mentions it again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next public moment comes after a race win.

You’re there in the garage, surrounded by champagne and mechanics and chaos. Lando finds you in the crowd, helmet still in hand, curls plastered to his forehead.

He grins like a kid, all adrenaline and joy. And then—without warning—he lifts you off the ground in a spinning hug. You yelp. Laugh. Hang onto him.

The cameras catch all of it.

Later, you see the footage. Slow-mo replays. TikToks set to love songs. A Twitter thread that analyzes the way he looks at you like he’s never seen anyone else in his life.

Your phone lights up all day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That afternoon, after everything dies down, you’re back at his place. Still a little buzzed from celebration. Still in your paddock pass and team jacket.

He hands you a drink and flops onto the couch beside you.

“Not bad for a fake couple, huh?” he says, bumping his shoulder against yours.

You roll your eyes. “The internet’s planning our wedding.”

“We’ll need a cool hashtag,” he says. “#LanandY/N.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Fine. You come up with one.”

“#PR relationships my ass.”

He grins. “Catchy.”

You sip your drink. “How does it feel? Winning.”

He shrugs. “Good. Surreal. Loud.”

“Better with me there?”

He looks over at you. His smile softens.

“Always.”

You nudge him with your elbow. “Careful. Say one more sweet thing and I might catch feelings.”

He snorts. “Impossible. You’re heartless.”

“You’re projecting.”

“You’re deflecting.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You’re annoying.”

He shrugs. “You’re still here.”

“Unfortunately,” you mutter.

“Admit it,” he says, leaning back smugly, “you’d be lost without me.”

You pretend to consider. “Hmm. I'd probably get more sleep. Have fewer memes in my camera roll. Eat my own fries.”

He gasps. “You love when I steal your fries.”

“I tolerate it. Out of pity.”

He grins, victorious. “See? That’s love.”

You throw a cushion at him. He lets it hit him square in the face.

“Fake love,” you remind him.

He wiggles his brows. “For now.”

You groan. “I swear to god, if you start saying things like ‘I always knew it would be you,’ I’m going to fake break up with you just to spite your captions.”

Lando laughs, stretching out on the couch, one arm slung over the back. “Admit it. This is the most fun you’ve had in ages.”

You smile without meaning to. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it go to your head.”

He leans his head back, eyes closed. “Too late.”

You watch him for a second, something warm curling in your chest.

And then you kick his shin. “Move over, you’re hogging the couch.”

He groans dramatically. “Abuse. This is abuse.”

“Shut up and put on a movie.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later, it’s your turn in the spotlight.

Your first big campaign drops at midnight. A glossy, high-fashion shoot for a major brand. The kind that gets tagged in Vogue moodboards and inspires Pinterest girls for months. You wake up to your face on a billboard in Soho, your inbox full of emojis, and your agent sending messages in all caps.

You scroll through the photos, heart thudding a little. Not just because you like them, but because they feel like proof. You’re not just someone on the arm of a famous driver. You’re someone.

The comments are different this time.

“She’s actually stunning??” “Wait I didn’t know she was a real model I thought she was just his gf lol” “This is main character behavior.”

You let yourself read them. All of them. For once, they don’t hurt.

Lando texts you the campaign shot he liked best — one of you in a silver dress, back arched, staring down the camera like you’re daring it to blink first.

His message just says: that’s my fake girlfriend 🔥🔥🔥 and then: kill me for saying that but you look insane.

You roll your eyes and type back: you’re insufferable. and then: but thanks.

He sends a selfie from the gym with his tongue out. You send him a voice memo of you mocking his sweaty face. He threatens to leak your middle school haircut if you ever do it again.

By noon, you’re laughing too hard to remember why you were nervous.

And for a few hours, it’s not about pretending or planning or headlines.

It’s just your life. And it’s finally getting louder in the best way.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That weekend, you both end up at a chaotic group dinner in Monaco — Lando, Max, a couple of mutual friends and their couples. Someone suggests a game, and before long it’s a wild mix of dares and “never have I ever.”

Someone jokes about couples knowing each other best. Pierre grins at Lando. “What’s her coffee order, Norris?”

Without missing a beat, Lando rattles it off. You blink.

Someone else asks who said “I love you” first. Lando doesn’t flinch. “Me. Obviously. She’s shy.”

You kick his shin under the table. He winces. Everyone laughs.

Later, one of your friends posts a picture of you and Lando mid-laugh, shoulders pressed together. The caption says: most annoying couple award goes to...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some time next week, you’re stopped outside a shoot by a fan who asks, “So when did you realize you loved him?”

You hesitate for a fraction of a second too long.

Then you laugh. “I’m under strict orders not to answer that.”

The clip goes viral.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night, you FaceTime Lando from your hotel. He answers from bed, hair wet, shirtless, already under the covers.

“I heard you went viral today,” he says.

“I plead the fifth,” you say. “You looked like a golden retriever in your press photos.”

“Thank you.”

You talk for an hour. About everything and nothing. About your outfits for the next event. About Pierre’s new shoes. About a girl he went to school with who’s now in a soap opera.

You fall asleep mid-call. He screenshots it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next post comes from you.

You in his hoodie. Him mid-laugh. A blurry one of your intertwined fingers under a table.

Caption: 🤍 found him on the pit wall

The internet loses it. Again.

You close the app, smiling.

Let them guess.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks later, you’re both in Monaco again, tucked into the quiet of his apartment. The windows are open, letting in the soft night air. There's music playing low—something chill and forgettable—and takeout boxes between you on the couch.

Neither of you is in a rush to talk. You’re watching the ceiling like it’s more interesting than your thoughts. Lando’s scrolling aimlessly on his phone, then sets it down with a sigh.

“You ever think about how weird this all is?” he asks suddenly.

You glance at him. “Define weird. Like… fake dating your best friend weird, or being mildly famous weird?”

He laughs. “Both, I guess.”

You nod, pulling your knees up. “Yeah. It’s insane when you think about it too hard.”

He’s quiet for a moment. Then: “I was thinking earlier… if I wasn’t doing this, if none of this F1 stuff ever happened, I wonder if we’d still be this close.”

You blink. “What kind of sad midnight crisis is this?”

He smiles, but it’s soft. Real. “I just mean—life’s gone a bit mad. And somehow, we still find our way back to each other.”

You don’t answer right away. Because it’s true. Through the chaos and the cameras and the fake dating façade, there’s still this unshakeable thing between you. The kind of closeness that makes everything else seem quieter.

“I think we’d always find a way,” you say, honest.

Lando looks over at you, eyes a little too gentle. “You’re the only person who’s known me before all of this. Before the wins. The attention. The pressure.”

“You’re the only person who knew me before heels and hair extensions and Vogue calling.”

He smiles. “I still remember when you used to cut your own bangs with safety scissors.”

You groan. “Don’t bring that up.”

“I liked it. It was chaotic.”

“You like chaos.”

“I like you.”

You freeze for a second—but he doesn’t mean it like that. You know he doesn’t. It’s just Lando being Lando, casually affectionate like always.

Still, your chest does that stupid flutter.

You cover it with a smirk. “Even with my tragic fringe phase?”

“Especially then,” he says.

There’s a moment of silence, not uncomfortable. Just full.

“Thanks for sticking around,” you say, quietly. “Even when things got messy. Even now.”

He bumps your knee with his. “Always.”

You nudge him back. “And thanks for fake dating me.”

“The pleasure is mine, darling,” he says, putting on a ridiculous accent.

You both laugh.

And just like that, the serious moment folds itself back into the warmth of your friendship. Safe. Steady. Real.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so... chapter two! omg i feel like this is so confusing i swear i'm trying to make it better 😭😭 but anyway, here's some one sided crush for you (..or is it?)

see you next lap, -N 🏁

#lando norris x reader #lando norris fanfic #lando x reader #lando fanfic #f1 x reader #understeeringirl logs #f1 fanfic

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macknshift · 5 months ago

Text

sadie rhode mackintosh . . . formula 1 driver dr.

THE BEST PART ABOUT SADIE MACKINTOSH IS THAT YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER COMING.

the then 21-year-old's second f1 win after fans believed she wouldn't even make it the rest of the season? in abysmal conditions in são paolo, brazil in 2024. the announcement that she would be the next red bull f1 driver? at the back-end of a season when we believed max verstappen would stay at red bull forever. that's her talent. a true star is born in formula 1 once in a millenium it feels like - the american did it in 2 seasons.

BORN TO INFAMOUS FERRARI ENGINEER jon and DAUGHTER OF FERRARI LEGEND CHARLES BELL marie, sadie mackintosh is TWO THINGS - born for this and ready for this.

driver for scuderia alphatauri, rookie class of '23, #29. 5 foot 10, darling of fashion house miu miu, part-time runway model. 20, only child, aquarius. monaco-based, austin-grown.

soundtrack of my life . . . 2 hands , tate mcrae. circus , britney spears. oh no! , marina. kiss it better , rihanna. vroom vroom , charli xcx. shut up and drive , rihanna.

STATS & THINGS . . .

scuderia alphatauri driver in 2023, oracle redbull driver in 2024-26, scuderia ferrari driver from 2027 forward.

winner of her first f2 season in 2022 with prema, sponsored by the redbull driver academy.

nicknamed 'speedy' for her aggressive attempts in overtaking & abnormal lack of hesitation. her other nickname, given first by will buxton 'drive to survive' is 'britney jr.' in her parallels with formula 1 champion and now monaco-based youtuber nico rosberg, (it's mainly the gorgeous locks lmfaoooo) as well as her apparent love for popstar britney spears.

races under #29, her grandfather, former f1 driver charles bell's old racing number. she is the only of his 5 grandchildren to race in any motorsport.

has been in 3 crashes as of the end of the 2024 season - twice in 2023 (saudi arabia w/ leo dempsey (#99, aston martin) & dutch gp w/ oscar piastri (#81, mclaren) and once in 2024 (silverstone w/ george russell (#63, mercedes))

as of the end of the 2024 season she has won 4 grand prix - united states (austin), brazilian, las vegas, and abu dhabi, all in 2024 within the last four races of the season.

is rumored to be in a relationship with aston martin driver leo dempsey. (allegedly they married after sadie's las vegas gp win.)

she has graced the cover of american vogue and modelled for several high fashion brands including miu miu (whom which she is an ambassador of), vivienne westwood, chanel, and most recently yves saint laurant. she is also the face of victoria's secret pink and has been gifted angel wings as a vs angel.

she and fellow f1 driver anna jones, as well as current head of f1 academy susie wolff, have received collector's barbie dolls as apart of the 'barbies in sports' collection by mattel (and none for danica nasty ass bitch)

⊹ ࣪ ˖₊˚⊹⋆ hiiiiiiiii (can y'all tell i love this dr) this is essentially my f1 dr intro!! i'm shifting to the beginning of 2023, right before my first f1 season begins! *side note if anyone wants the 'my first day' f1 template lmk! send me a dm or an ask and i'll gladly post it!* yes i stole hailey bieber's middle name. i thought being an f1 driver and having the middle name rhode would get me some aura points!!!! sue me!!!! the inspo to make this post obvi comes from tate mcrae's new song sports car (i looove tate & i actually scripted that i'm the stunt driver in her '2 hands' mv lol)

#mack's f1 dr #mack makes things #mack's intros #shifting motivation #shiftblr #reality shifting #shifting #anti shifters dni #formula one shifting #shifting to formula one #formula one driver dr #f1 dr

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coco-loco-nut · 1 year ago

Text

die first

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: Max’s wife is an international superstar, who’s anxieties tend to show up in her songs

Inspired by: die first by Nessa Barret

requests open! masterlist prequel

—————————

“What are you writing, Schatje?” Max asks, sliding onto the piano bench beside you.

“I wrote a song based on my vows,” you tell him, writing down the last couple chords, humming a rhythm to yourself.

Max, ever since I met you, I knew you were special. You’re my fire and my safety, you never try to break me, and you promise to always stay. I promise those same things to you. I don’t want to live without you, I never want to learn how to fall asleep without you, I want to be in love with you forever. You are my forever.

“Play it for me?” he asks when you finish, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. You nod, gently pressing the keys, mentally noting the kinks to fix before recording tomorrow. “It’s beautiful, the fans are going to love it, I love it,” Max compliments and you grin at him.

“I’m excited to announce the album and tour, and I’m glad we follow F1 around Europe. I get to spend more of summer with you that way,” you lean on his shoulder. You dedicated the album to him, and your third record is set to be the best selling one yet.

You took the unconventional route and took his last name after marrying him this year, despite having two hit albums and international fame. You still publish under your maiden name, but the name change caused a lot of shock.

You became an international superstar with your first release and it’s only grown since. Despite your relationship with Max spanning most of your music career, the both of you are able to spend a relatively low profile life in Monaco. Everything you record in the studio down the street is sent to your Hollywood label and released from there.

The next few months see you doing press for the surprise drop that was your bestselling third album and hyping the tour. Tour rehearsals fell during training time for Max and the both of you were going nonstop.

“I have to go to bed, Schatje, love you,” Max yawns over Facetime, you wish him goodnight as you stretch for your last show in North America. Tomorrow you jet to Europe to pick up that leg of the tour.

By the time you reach London, your tour has officially lined up with F1, which means your personal box near the stage is full of drivers, who likely are being bombarded with autograph requests. You slip into your black, sparkly bodysuit and matching hells; hair, makeup, and nails perfectly done; and grab your matching microphone before heading to your mark under the stage. The roar of the crowd energized you as the intro video plays.

“Come on London, let’s have some fun,” you say into the mic before smoke fills the stage above you and the trap door opens, the platform beneath you rising you up. You launch into your opening act. Half an hour later, after prancing and dancing and singing around the stage you take a pause to introduce the next act. The crowd cheers loudly before you have a chance to speak. You look around, smiling at everyone even if you can’t see them.

“London, thank you, my name is Y/n Verstappen, that’s my show for tonight,” you tease, the crowd silences. “Nah, I’m kidding. I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that, not when you are one of the best crowds I’ve had on tour,” you tell them, giving them a second to cheer.

“Since you have been such a great host, I wanted to share something special about this next song, something not many people know, but not quite yet. Quick shoutout to the F1 drivers here tonight, including my handsome husband, y’all are cool. But not as cool as everyone else here,” you purposely leave them hanging a little, blowing a kiss in the direction of Max.

“Alright, so, this next song is not only the title of my new album, but I also took parts of my vows and wrote them into the song. I hope you like it,” you say and the crowd cheers as the first chords play behind you.

“Thank you, London! Goodnight!” After the concert, you rush backstage and into Max’s open arms.

“You were incredible, Liefje” Max kisses you. Charles jokingly gags behind you.

“Thank you, Maxie,” you whisper, hugging him tight. Your assistant hands you a towel to put around your neck and a bottle of water which you happily take.

“You had a great show,” the other drivers tell you, all complimenting the show and thanking you for the tickets. You thank them for attending and excuse yourself so you could change. Max reminds them of the post-show dinner and club plans and carries you to your dressing room. You collapse on the couch, as Max chuckles at your dramatics.

“I swear the best part of a show is laying down after,” you groan and Max gently takes off your heels causing you to moan in relief.

“Y/n! People are going to think we are doing things in here,” Max laughs, you wave him off, changing into comfy but club appropriate clothes. Max helps you take off your stage makeup, and redoes your hair as you put a little bit of normal makeup on.

“Ready, Maxie?” you ask, grabbing your purse. It is nice knowing that assistants will take everything back to the hotel for you.

“I promise I will always come back home to you, I know my driving style is agressive, but I won’t make you learn how to fall asleep without me,” Max says, his hands holding your face gently.

“I know, but I will always be scared when you are on the track. You can’t promise nothing will happen, but I know you will always try,” you tell him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. You stay in his embrace for a minute until rejoining half of the paddock. I can be in love forever, if I die first…

#f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen imagines #Spotify

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separatetheyolk · 7 months ago

Note

hey so i kinda stalked your account after ur intro stumbled onto my feed....if you're taking requests right now could you write something for one of the papaya boys with trans!driver!reader? I'm not picky in terms of plot <33

also i lovelovelove your writing

Feel Better In Your Skin | Lando Norris X Trans!Driver!Reader

ʚɞ featuring: Lando Norris

Oscar Piastri, Charles Leclerc, Carlos Sainz (platonic )

ʚɞ it’s winter break, you’ve just gotten your top surgery and it’s up to Lando to take care of you

ʚɞ I got you!! I’m glad you’re liking my writing so far aha I’ve written on different platforms like ao3 before but I found that wasn’t really tailored to “__ x readers” as well as “__ x __” so here I am.

I read the ask wrong at first lol and started writing trans Lando so ended up having to change that all half way through. I wasn’t sure if you were wanting more focus for like paddock stuff so if you do just lmk I’d be happy to write another with more focus on that or just a part 2 to this one

Anyway hope you enjoy this one too!

ʚɞ warnings: mentions of dried blood and incisions obviously, very brief mention high from pain meds, surgery mentioned obvs, y/n used, not proofread

ʚɞ wordcount: 2.4K

ʚɞ requests are open!

Lando heard you groan as he helped the you into bed. Carefully lying you down, setting a pregnancy pillow under you arms and tucked you in. “Arms in or out, baby?” He asked softly, hand running through your hair, brushing it away from your forehead.

You couldn’t stop the whine that slipped past chapped lips. Still a smidge high on the pain killers they’d given before you’d been discharged from your double mastectomy. “Messin’ up my hair..” you grumbled, pout set on your face. “Out please.” You answered Lando after a moment of realisation that he’d asked you a question.

Nodding softly with a small chuckle, he set the blanket under your arms, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Anything you need, handsome?” The man spoke, moving to carefully sit beside you on his empty side of the bed. Lando would be taking the sofa in the main room of your B&B while you slept, not wanting to hurt his boyfriend anymore than he’d already been. You had tried to insist the day before surgery that you’d take it. He insisted that you rest in a comfortable setting.

You hummed slightly when you felt a soft hand rest on your cheek, turning into the palm and closed your eyes. Heat warming the skin that had been nipped by a winter breeze. Having traveled from Monaco back to the UK for your surgery. Lando knew you’d had you heart set on a particular surgeon since you were eighteen. And now, at twenty three he’d managed pay to get you surgery putting you on his last ever waiting list just before the surgeon was to go into retirement. He’d given you the news as a birthday present. Of which you were immensely grateful for.

He hadn’t been too keen on the idea of flying back with you after quite an invasive surgery. But he knew this was your body. You’d have to live with the scars. And Lando wanted nothing more than for you to feel confident. For once in your life feel confident in who you were. In your skin. Wear clothes you wanted to wear when you wanted them. Not in accordance of whether it hid your binder or not. Not have to worry about cameras getting side on shots of your body, chest visible unable to bind while racing.

“Hurts..” Lando heard you speak, clearly wanting more for the pain. Snapping him from the immense surge of proudness that welled in his chest. You watched your boyfriend carefully. How he pulled out his phone, how a frown settled on his oh so perfect face, how he sighed. That sigh really didn’t sound good.

“I’m sorry baby..” he spoke softly, adjusting a few pillows behind you and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I can’t give you any ibuprofen just yet.. gotta wait another hour first. Okay?”

Reluctantly, you nodded. With a smile, Lando rose from the bed, fixing the covers and set the remote for the TV into your hand. “Put on whatever you’d like, my love. I’m gonna order us some food.”

yourusername

Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, 206k others

yourusername

Left with less of myself but felt more complete.

Thank you baby. Thank you for coming with me, supporting me and taking care of me. I love you so much <3

And thank you for the icecream

Tagged: @/landonorris

Comments

landonorris I love you too baby. So proud of you <3

user1 STOP IT THIS IS ACTUALLY ADORABLE

user2 GOING TO SCREAM

oscarpiastri So proud of you mate!

user3 “left with less of myself but felt more complete” IM GOING TO SOB

mercedesamgf1 Looking forward to working with you this season! Wishing you a speedy recovery!

———————————

“Oh my god this fucking sucks” you groaned out, eyes screwed shut. It felt like the drains were cutting into your sides. They hurt more than the fucking incisions stretched across your chest.

“I know baby..” Lando frowned softly, moving to sit beside you again and pressed a kiss to your temple. He didn’t really know. Not truly. He knew that. He didn’t know how the pain was, he just knew you were in pain. And if he could do something about that, he would. “Not long now though.. hopefully get them out tomorrow.”

The two of you were cutting it fine in regards to the 2025 season. You were both due at Bahrain for the three days of pre-season testing (although you weren’t exactly excited about their twisted laws for LGBT individuals). Due there the 25th of February, testing starting the 26th and finishing on the 28th. At that point you would be four and a half weeks healed. You’d practically have to beg the surgeon tomorrow to give you a letter saying you could take part.

Then, a two week break. Season opening in Australia on the 16th March. At which you’d be six and a half weeks. In theory, fully healed. But it could take anywhere from 6-8.

“What you thinkin’ about, love?” Lando looked to you, arm wrapping carefully around your shoulders.

“Who said I was thinking about anything?” You shot back with a smile, meeting his gaze and carefully placed your head to his shoulder.

“You were sticking your tongue out.”

“Traitor..” you muttered to it.

———————————

You were sat in the surgeons office the next day, leg bouncing against the floor, hand holding onto the inside of Lando’s thigh for comfort. Your head was spinning. You were drowning. Drowning in endless possibilities and all bad. What if you didn’t like it? What if you decided you preferred yourself before? What if you weren’t really trans? What if you’d picked the wrong surgeon and ultimately it looked awful? What if your nipples had fallen off? What if-

“Y/n, breathe..” Lando spoke softly, one hand moving to rest on top of yours that was holding his thigh and the other moving to rub your own. “You’re panicking, love.”

You turned to face him caught like a deer in headlights. Your tongue fell flat in your mouth as your mind scrambled to find words. Piece together some remnants of a sentence. Lando didn’t rush you, didn’t disrespect you, didn’t roll his eyes or get angry. Instead, he let you take your time. Let you organise your mind. Removing your hand from his thigh just for a moment to place a kiss to the back of it before letting you set it back down wherever you chose. You decided to just leave it in the same spot.

Eventually, you spoke up. “What if I regret it..” you whispered, voice cracking slightly.

You watched as Lando opened his mouth to speak. Cut off by the surgeon that entered. “Right! Let’s get this show on the road.” The man spoke, heading to the chair in the middle of the room. “Come sit on this chair for me.”

You didn’t move at first, watching as he went to wash his hands. Only as the surgeon started to slip his gloves on did you stand, Lando helping you to undo the buttons on your shirt and slipped it from your back. Leaving you looking to a bare stomach and bandaged chest.

With hesitant feet, you silently moved to the chair, sitting on it with your eyes fixed to Lando. Refusing to look to your chest or the mirror in the corner of the room as the surgeon got to work unraveling bandages.

You caught glimpses of dried blood as he began to pull gauze away, swallowing thickly as he removed the ones covering your nipples only to find that they weren’t on the fabric. You let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding, shoulders relaxing some.

Then came the drains. They weren’t so bad, a slight nip to begin with as the surgeon pulled out stitches holding them in place. But other than that it just felt weird. Like how you’d imagine sucking a noodle through a lip piercing would feel like when a video came up on your for you page once. You’d quickly blocked that user for the sake of your own sanity. Not malicious intent, it just freaked you out and you did not want to risk them coming back onto your fyp again.

“Alright, we’re all done.” The man spoke, stepping back to take a look at his work. Your own eyes gaze still fixed to Lando. “I’ll leave you two alone to look. But it all looks good and healthy to me.” You heard the snap of gloves coming off, the squeak and then clatter of a bin opening and closing. The surgeon walking into your view to leave the room.

Lando frowned when you didn’t turn to look. Standing, he moved to lock the door, then made his way to you. Crouching beside you. “You look gorgeous, baby..” Lando whispered as he took your hand and held it to his own cheek pressing a kiss to the palm of it. “Do you want a photo of it first, babe?” He asked softly, seemingly able to read you like an open book as you nodded slowly.

As Lando stood, he set your hand back into your lap. He stopped the recording, taking a few steps back at the front of the chair and took a photo. After making sure it wasn’t blurry, he headed back to you reassuming his crouched position and turned the screen to you. “Here..”

With both hands, you carefully took the device. Eyes scanning the photo meticulously looking for any mistakes. Any dog ears, any infections, anything that didn’t look like it should be there. But instead all you found was some light bruising and scabs along your incisions. All perfectly normal. All.. perfect.

“You want to look in the mirror?” He asked softly, watching you nod. With a smile, Lando helped you to stand so you wouldn’t stretch the incisions. Hanging back as you moved to the mirror. Setting the phone up where you’d just sat to continue recording.

Like the photo, your eyes scanned the reflection in the mirror. Left to right, down, right to left, down, left to right. Finding nothing again. You felt emotions bubbling in your chest, but it was when you turned to the side that your works burst. You were flat. A bit swollen and bruised. But you were flat. Holy shit.

You looked to Lando in the mirror. The man holding the biggest grin he could and you were sure he didn’t even realise it. Slowly, you turned to him as a sob was pulled from your throat, moving to hide in your boyfriend’s shoulder while he wrapped his arms around you. The feeling of his arms wrapped against your bare skin, his chest flush against yours without anything in the way caused you to cry harder. Legs weak and shaky but you remained standing.

Lando had a feeling he’d be getting a lot more hugs from you.

After the surgeon showed both you and Lando how to properly tape the sutures and cover your nipples, he gave you scar cream and you were under strict instructions to keep your chest dry. Only rinse after the testing sessions to get rid of any sweat and pat dry with paper towels. He then handed you a letter which you’d take a photo of and send to Toto when you got home. Basically stating you had the all clear.

The drive home was a slow one. Purposefully. After a week in bed you wanted to get outside. So, despite not having showered in a week that was exactly what the two of you done. You broke your strict diet, had Tim Hortons, coffee, a donut and just drove around town taking the long route back to the air B&B.

Once back, Lando ran you a bath, helping you inside and began to was you carefully. You made sure to keep the waterline below your surgery. Letting Lando press kisses to your face, head, shoulder, neck, hands. Wherever he could. Making sure you knew he loved you. He was here. He wasn’t leaving. He wanted to help. Then came the difficult part, washing your hair. Lando helped you to dry off and change first into some comfortable joggers and one of his button ups. Then, wrapped a towel around your neck and over your shoulders. You crouched down, head over the edge of the tub as Lando started the shower. Making sure the water was at the right temperature before beginning to wash away the grease and grime of the past week. Chuckling as you melted into his hand.

Once your hair was adequately soaked, he turned the shower off, let the head fall into the bath and grabbed the shampoo. He lathered, rinsed, then done the same with conditioner. He then squeezed some of the water out your hair before you sat up, drying it for you and chuckled when he pulled the towel away. Hair sticking up every which way. “My handsome man..” he mumbled, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips which you happily accepted. Hand dropping to his waist.

———————————

mercedesamgf1

Liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, and 127k others

mercedesamgf1

The 2025 season is officially underway!

Y/N and George at day 1 of pre-season testing

Tagged: @/yourusername @/georgerussell

Comments

user1 y/n’s hands 🤤🤤

user2 You guys always have to ruin it huh?

landonorris no touchy

yourusername down boy

yourusername good to be back! So excited to work with you guys this season!

You turned to the door when it opened, smiling wide when you saw Lando poke his head round it. “There you are!” The man grinned, stepping inside. Pausing when he spotted, well, nothing. Just a flat chest under that black jumpsuit.

You smiled wide. “Here I am.” You spoke walking over to him. Turning in a circle as you went. “You like?”

“Oh baby I love..” the other whispered, blushing when a kiss was pressed to his cheek. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he nuzzled into your neck. Now your turn to hold him. And you certainly wouldn’t complain. “Love you..” you heard a mutter into your shoulder.

You smiled back, pressing a gentle kiss to his shoulder with a “Love you most..”

———————————

Bonus - Boys on the beach

yourusername

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 204k others

yourusername

beach days with my boys

Tagged: @/landonorris @/oscarpiastri @/charles_leclerc @/carlossainz55

Comments

user1 not Charles having a better photo then his own boyfriend

yourusername “if you’re gonna post a photo of me it could be a good one at least”

carlossainz55 alright that’s just mean now

charles_leclerc We aren’t your boys

landonorris yes we are

oscarpiastri Yes we are

yourusername yes you are

ʚɞ I don’t know how to do endiiiiings. sorry if the second half’s a little rushed. Half of it got deleted since my tumblr crashed and I hadn’t saved so had to retype it all. This took way longer than I thought it would. Enjoy!!

WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME I SAID MCLARENAMGF1 AND NOT MERCEDES THIS POST HAS BEEN UP FOR FIVE HOURS IN GOING TO SCREAM

I’m in McLaren brain rot rn

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