#monmelia thoughts

[monmelia]

Monmelia Analysis Part 6: “I’d Bet on You Every Time” (21x12-21x16)

Okay, it’s been a minute since our girlies have graced the screen together, and by “a minute,” I mean an 11 episode drought, with their last interaction all the way back in 21x05 when Monica made an attempt to explain about Winston again and Amelia shrugged it off with indifference, whilst being obviously bothered by it deep down. But absence makes the heart grow fonder… or at least gives us plenty of time to over analyse the emotional aftermath.

And while we didn’t get Monmelia for a while, we did get two important developments: Winston is officially out of the romantic picture, and we finally got a glimpse into Monica’s romantic past with the brief introduction of her ex-wife, Adriana.

Let’s talk about that for a second, because to me it said a lot about Monica’s emotional availability. Monica and Adriana clearly have a history, but it’s not the bitter, unresolved kind. If anything, their dynamic felt pretty light. Monica agrees to operate on Carlos, the foster kid Adriana’s working with, and while she insists she “wasn’t doing it for Adriana,” the tone is definitely more jokey than cold. These two may be exes, but they’re on decent terms, enough so that Adriana could call her for help and Monica showed up without hesitation.

What’s interesting is how low-stakes Monica treats the reveal that Adriana slept with Jules. Is she thrilled about it? No. I mean who would want to know about who their ex is sleeping with? But is she acting jealous or territorial? Also no. Her reaction is less about hiding feelings and more about protecting her peace, and frankly, maintaining professional boundaries with an intern. And Adriana herself doesn’t act like she’s crossing any deep emotional line, telling Jules Monica is “okay with it,” as if she knows that Monica’s moved on.

When we first met Monica, she was in the middle of a messy divorce and using that as the reason not to pursue anything with Amelia. But now? Her divorce no longer seems like a raw wound. There’s no jealousy, no lingering emotional attachment, just the normal awkwardness that’s bound to come with having an ex turn up at work and sleep with her intern. And this is important, because it signals that Monica is no longer in emotional survival mode. She’s moving on and making peace with her situation. She also doesn’t seem to need Winston as a buffer anymore. Their dynamic is completely platonic now, which just reinforces how unserious it always was.

In this blog I explored the reasoning for why I think Monica turned Amelia down but pursued Winston, and although we’ve had little Monmelia development up to this point, this episode still moved their plot forward ever so slightly. Because if Monica's reason for not pursuing Amelia really was about timing and emotional readiness, the episode showed that the clock might be ticking down.

And the fact that her only emotionally complex, tension-filled dynamic this season has been with Amelia says it all. Her connection with Adriana feels finished. Her thing with Winston was casual and served a purpose in getting over her divorce. But with Amelia? We’re still very much mid-story. So while they may not have shared a screen much and it’s all still frustratingly slow, I don’t see this as backpedalling. If anything, it’s clearing the path.

Now let’s get to 21x16, where we were finally blessed with the Monmelia screen time we’ve been starved of. Their first scene seems largely medical at the surface, as they gather to discuss the surgical procedure to remove a 9 year old girl’s angioma (Dylan), but it’s a quiet return to the Monmelia we know and love. It’s a scene that shows warmth, ease, and that familiar underlying rhythm between them that always seems to shine in patient consults. We get a glimpse of classic Monica-and-Amelia banter here, with Monica likening Amelia to a seasoned explorer and Amelia responding with a look that implies, “You’re ridiculous, but I like it.” It’s soft, it’s playful, and it’s exactly the kind of easy, unforced intimacy that defines their dynamic.

Monica’s comment about Amelia going on expeditions every day isn’t just cute wordplay, it’s a nod to how highly she thinks of Amelia. She doesn’t just respect her as a surgeon; she frames her in heroic, almost legendary terms for the patient and her concerned parents. Monica being overtly impressed by Amelia’s abilities is foundational to them, so it makes sense we’d see this in their reintroduction as scene partners. From Amelia’s perspective she seems open, not defensive. She feels comfortable again and whatever distance there was after the Winston situation, it's clearly eased.

The scene re-establishes their emotional rapport, subtly indicating that their bond has clearly continued off-screen. Even without us seeing it, their comfort level, their ease of communication, and their mutual understanding all suggest that their connection has deepened rather than diminished in the background.

When Amelia is guiding Monica through the imaging to map Dylan's brain, she's calm and confident in her approach. However, in the next scene, when Dylan becomes anxious and starts panicking about being taken to surgery, we see Amelia's composure falter as Dylan’s distress visibly affects her.

As Amelia and Monica (notice how they’re always side by side) speak with Dylan’s parents, we once again see how effortlessly these two complement each other. Dylan’s parents are understandably panicked, feeling helpless because Dylan is refusing surgery. Monica, with her usual warmth and compassion, reassures them that Dylan’s reaction is completely normal, gently validating their fears. But when Dylan’s dad suggests postponing the surgery, Monica instinctively looks to Amelia, trusting her expertise to address the urgency from a neurological perspective. Without missing a beat, Amelia firmly explains why the procedure can’t wait.

It's exactly the same dynamic I highlighted in a previous blog; Monica providing emotional support and grounded reassurance, and Amelia bringing clarity, decisiveness, and a drive to take action.

It’s yet another example of their seamless teamwork, evidence that their connection has continued to strengthen even off-screen despite their limited recent interactions. They instinctively know when to step forward, when to step back, and when to lean on each other, creating that ideal blend of empathy and medical expertise. In the words of Monica herself, they “make a pretty good team.” And honestly? I can’t get enough of this team.

As Dylan and her parents decide to go ahead with the surgery, we get the type of Monmelia scene we live for; packed with emotional tension, raw vulnerability, and subtle intimacy. The scene initially highlights Monica’s gentle ability to reassure Dylan by shifting the medical imaging into something comforting as she tells her how beautiful her brain is. Meanwhile, Amelia focuses on the technical approach, reminding Dylan of the map they've made, trying to ground herself as much as the patient.

Yet as the emotional stakes rise, with the weight of Dylan’s mom in the OR begging her to save her baby, Amelia becomes visibly overwhelmed and abruptly leaves. Monica’s response here is so telling. First, we see her instinctively comfort Dylan’s mom with a quick touch of reassurance, but her immediate decision to follow Amelia outside speaks to her deeper awareness and care. She recognises that Amelia needs support just as much as the parents.

Amelia, pacing and breathing deeply, is consumed by the overwhelming responsibility she's carrying. Monica’s initial approach is characteristically calm and affirming:

"If I was in this OR with any other neurosurgeon, I'd be scared out of my mind." - Monica Beltran (21x16)

This isn't merely reassurance; it’s Monica acknowledging her trust in Amelia—not just professionally, but personally. When Amelia tries to brush this off, pointing out that nobody, including herself, has ever attempted this surgery, Monica counters softly yet firmly, reminding Amelia that she's seen her accomplish "the impossible" before. To Monica, Amelia isn’t defined by her fears or past failures but by her resilience and remarkable capabilities.

Monica’s quiet insistence, "You're not alone in there," coupled with the deep concern reflected in her gaze, conveys more than professional support—it signals genuine emotional intimacy. Monica recognises that Amelia isn’t merely battling professional pressure; she's grappling with the profound emotional burden of holding a child's life in her hands. Amelia has admitted before that one of her greatest fears is failing her patients. Monica’s softly spoken words and reassuring presence are an attempt to anchor Amelia emotionally, reminding her she’s supported, even in the most isolating of moments.

To explore this even more, Monica’s words carry even more weight when you consider Amelia’s history. She’s a character shaped by repeated loss, emotional neglect, and the fear of abandonment. She has spent so much of her life feeling like she has to carry everything on her own. So for Monica to meet her at her breaking point and gently insist that she’s not alone? Golden. It’s a direct hit to one of Amelia’s deepest wounds. And even though she isn’t in a place to accept that support at that moment, the fact that Monica offered it will stay with her. Because Monica saw her clearly and stayed anyway.

Amelia’s response—sharp, defensive, and raw—exposes her profound sense of fear. She dismisses Monica’s reassurance because what she's feeling isn’t doubt about her skills, but rather the weight of the emotional responsibility she holds. Amelia feels utterly alone in the enormity of what she’s facing. Her words reflect the deep emotional scars she carries from past losses. Amelia has experienced enough loss and trauma to understand exactly what's at stake, and no amount of reassurance about her skills can alleviate this fear.

“I am the one who is slicing into the part of the brain that controls all function. I am the face they will remember if something happens to their kid. I am the one who will never forget it if I kill her on the table, so when I say I need a minute…I need a damn minute!” - Amelia Shepherd (21x16)

What's powerful here is how Monica immediately grasps the gravity of Amelia’s distress and chooses not to push. Her decision to leave Amelia alone isn't abandonment, it's respect. Hurt initially flashes across her face at Amelia’s harsh words but is quickly replaced by realisation. Amelia doesn't need words right now; she needs space. This again highlights their deepening understanding of each other. Monica knows Amelia enough to understand that pushing her further at this moment would be counterproductive.

This interaction vividly captures their dynamic in its complexity. Monica, grounded and empathetic, tries to soothe Amelia’s fears, while Amelia, emotionally intense and passionate, confronts her vulnerabilities head-on. Amelia’s frustration might initially feel like she's pushing Monica away, but the underlying truth is much richer. This is Amelia at her most vulnerable, implicitly revealing the trust she has in Monica by allowing herself to be seen this way at all.

The infamous balancing act between them is clearer than ever. Monica provides stability and emotional grounding, even if Amelia momentarily pushes against it, while Amelia brings intense authenticity and emotional honesty. We’ve previously seen Amelia step in to calm Monica, and now the roles have reversed with Monica trying to steady Amelia. This push-and-pull adds depth to their relationship, hinting at a deeper level of intimacy, trust, and understanding that's steadily building.

There’s also a really nice parallel in this moment to one of their earliest scenes together, all the way back in 20x03. In that episode, Monica was the one telling Amelia to "take a minute" when she rushed to dismiss an alternative surgical option Monica had proposed. Monica pushed Amelia to slow down, take a breath, and consider a new perspective, and that moment led to Amelia finding a more successful approach. It wasn’t just about the surgery; it was a key character beat that showed how Monica wasn’t afraid to challenge Amelia, even without knowing her well. It also foreshadowed Monica’s role in Amelia’s arc as someone who could balance her emotional intensity with grounded, rational support.

Now in 21x16, we see that dynamic reversed. It’s Amelia who says, "I need a minute," and Monica who attempts to talk her through the pressure. But where Amelia eventually listened to Monica back in 20x03, now Amelia is too overwhelmed to hear it. She pushes Monica away, emotionally raw and unfiltered. And yet, Monica doesn’t take it personally, she respects Amelia’s boundary and leaves her alone. But not without first trying to support her in the only way she knows how; by reminding her that she’s not alone in this. And even though Amelia doesn’t respond in kind in that moment, we, as the audience, know that she heard her. Because Monica was there when it mattered, and that’s going to mean something later.

There’s also something beautifully circular in the fact that Monica once told Amelia, “You’re much more effective when you take your time,” and now, in this moment, Amelia is doing just that. Even though it’s laced with panic, her plea for a minute is her way of slowing down, grounding herself, and preparing to face the impossible. Whether she realises it or not, she’s embodying the very advice Monica gave her, proof that some lessons land deeper than we think.

The callback to 20x03 reinforces how far they’ve come. Back then, Monica was a confident stranger pushing Amelia to slow down. Now she’s someone who deeply understands Amelia’s pressure and emotional world, trying to be her anchor in the storm. The mirror image of those moments speaks volumes about how their connection has evolved; from professional equals to something more intimate, more emotionally layered. It also suggests that the theme of "taking your time" that was so prominent in 20x03 is still very much in play, both in and out of the OR.

And then, just when we think the tension has peaked, we’re hit with the final scene. The scene that takes the crown for best scene of the ep; in fact it’s probably one of my favourite scenes of theirs of all time. The emotional depth it packs into just a few lines is, in my opinion, one of the most vulnerable Monmelia moments to date.

First, let’s talk about Amelia. She opens with an apology, which already sets a softer tone, acknowledging how intense she was earlier but without making excuses. But what truly stands out is what comes next: she opens up about Derek. And not just a passing mention, but an honest, raw admission about how his failures shook her belief in herself. She tells Monica that Derek, the man she idolised, the brother who could “do no wrong,” had tried and failed at this kind of surgery, and that haunted her. And here’s the thing: Amelia volunteers this. Without prompting, she offers it up herself. That tells us everything we need to know about the emotional safety Monica gives her.

Then comes Monica’s response. And it is everything. She doesn’t try to dismiss Amelia’s fear. She doesn’t downplay how legendary Derek was. Instead, she cuts straight to Amelia’s deepest insecurity: the comparison. The shadow. The constant weight of not being Derek Shepherd. And Monica, in her calm, no-nonsense way, says the most beautiful thing she could possibly say here:

“As someone who’s never met your brother and who only compares you to you, I could say with full confidence that I would bet on you every time.”  - Monica Beltran (21x16)

It’s such a subtle line, but it hits hard. And Amelia's face as Monica says this just says it all. In that moment, Monica isn’t just reassuring Amelia, she’s validating her. She’s saying, I don’t need your brother’s name to believe in you. I see your talent, your brilliance, your humanity, and I’d bet on you every single time. Monica has consistently shown unwavering faith in Amelia’s abilities, and here in the aftermath of an extremely risky surgery, she doesn’t hesitate. She centres Amelia not in comparison to anyone else, but in her own right.

This isn’t just emotional support. This is someone recognising you on a soul level, loving you for exactly who you are, even the parts you try to hide. It’s so intimate, so affirming, and so fundamentally them. If Amelia’s biggest fear is not being enough outside her brother’s legacy, then Monica is the person who keeps gently but firmly telling her that she is. Always has been. Always will be.

This episode felt like a return to form for Monmelia in all the best ways. We got the classic banter, the effortless teasing, the glances, the eye-rolls that somehow still read as flirtation. But beneath that, we saw the foundation of what makes them such a compelling pair: their teamwork. Once again, they operated like two halves of the same whole as they instinctively leaned on each other, balanced each other out, and created space for one another to lead. It's the dynamic that’s been there since the beginning, only now it’s matured; layered with depth, history, and a growing sense of emotional safety.

What really elevates this episode, though, is how clearly Monica shows up for Amelia, not just as a colleague, but as someone who sees her. Monica’s unwavering belief in Amelia has always been there, but here, it feels more personal than ever. She doesn’t just admire her talent; she knows what’s at stake for Amelia emotionally and still chooses to bet on her every time. Monica doesn’t flinch in the face of Amelia’s vulnerability, in fact, she rises to meet it. Whether it’s standing beside her with quiet conviction or offering words that cut through years of insecurity, she becomes exactly the person Amelia needs in her corner. She believes in her in a way that nobody else has. 

And what we see from Amelia in this episode is a kind of emotional openness we rarely get from her, at least, not without prompting. Her willingness to talk about Derek, to name her deepest insecurities, and to share that with Monica uninvited? That says everything. Back in 21x05, Amelia told Monica, “It’s the irony that you would see if you knew me better.” But now? It feels like Monica does know her better. She knows how to read her silences. She knows when to push and when to step back. And most importantly, she knows how to support her; not with grand gestures, but with steady, firm belief.

So yeah, maybe it’s still a slow burn, but this episode made it abundantly clear: the fire is still very much lit. I’m so apprehensive to what the finale is going to be, but for now I'll leave it with the song that played in that pivotal final scene, because it seems fitting. 

And say I'm yours, you know that I never mind

As long as you love me alone

You can call it whatever you want

[prentiits]

thoughts on the greys s19 finales? s19 kinda underwhelmed me (marina is cute but the baby thing bores me to no end which in turns makes them as a ship dull to me sacrilege i know lol but it’s the truth) and i never got super into yasuda/helm but im kinda loving the possibility of yasuda/jules? idk what’s going on there but the chemistry>>>

ohh boy. so i have a lot of thoughts on the finales LOL. it got really really long and it only aired yesterday so spoilers are under the cut for those that haven't seen!

grey's:

sooo. i hated it. as a writer, as a viewer, i fucking hated it. honestly, i should have come into the fandom earlier because this season being my first to watch live sucked ASS and was more losing than winning. narratively speaking, the vast majority of the writing choices made ZERO sense. not winston/monica (AFTER ALL THE MONMELIA BUILD UP??), not julesmika (sorry, i love them, but they make no narrative sense. unless they're trying for a mertina type relationship which im not sure i entirely like either), and not whatever bullshit was going on with catherine. i know she has played big bad boss lady in the past but honestly this season the writing for her was very... flat? one dimensional? it was almost like she could ONLY be the antagonist and she wasn't allowed to have any other role in this season. i don't think we saw her outside of the hospital at all in the whole 10 episodes. while i DO understand they had to make some necessary cuts because of the shortened length of the season... was it really worth keeping catherine fox in this season if they were going to ruin her?? because i do NOT think so. and what was UP with her firing half the hospital in one episode??? fuck that??

to be completely honest lol, i'm tired of this show and the way they hate their gays. helmika breakup, no monmelia ANYTHING -- making monica hook up with winston after zero build up?? if you want to write a bisexual character this is NOT the way to do it -- schmitt leaving next season, trying to build up the julesmika relationship when midori is leaving in the next season?? i admit they're cute, but there's no way the relationship is sustainable. and it makes me so sad.

and... oh my god don't get me started on mernick. to preface everything i say about them: i think they're cute! genuinely i do! i don't hate them at all, which makes it so much harder when i have to say that they make no sense together long term. meredith is very clearly not as in love with him as he is with her (he said he wanted to marry her, walked out, and she had. zero reaction. to any of it. if anything she kind of treats him like a child?😭) and she only really fights for him when it looks like he's going to leave. she'll only fight for her stability if there's a real threat of losing it. in a way, i suppose it's not surprising. they mirror merder but only in all the bad ways, the way that merder was starry eyed intern x dreamy neurosurgeon turns into the way that mernick is essentially idol x fan. there's no way either of those relationships could have lasted in the long run -- BECAUSE of their foundations. and it makes me so sad bc why is meredith doing the same fucking things after 20 SEASONS. she of ALL the characters deserves to have some character development after all this time.

station 19:

loved it. cried so many times. the episode ended and i walked around feeling so empty. i will admit i have only seen marina spoilers and have not watched any of the seasons until season 7, so my view might be a bit skewed. cried with the marina family (maya's development from season 1 to season 7? 🥹), cried when travis went with vic (someone finally choosing to put first the Put Everyone Else First Person??? hello tears). the flashes forward and back were so interesting, definitely kept me engaged. i was so scared tho when they kept showing the burning gear when andy was missing 😭 i was like they BETTER NOT have killed her. and then all was well <3 more or less.

overall for station 19, i think they really did the best they possibly could have with how many episodes they were given to wrap up the series if it doesn't end up getting picked up. i liked it a lot more than grey's, for sure :)

[monmelia]

Monmelia Analysis Part 1: Challenge, Timing & Soulmates (20x03)

Fourteen years ago, my love for shipping began with Brittany and Santana from Glee. They were my first ship—foundational to my experience as a closeted teenager—and while they might not have been perfect, they were everything I needed at the time.

Now, in my thirties and confident in my sexual identity, I didn’t expect to feel that invested in a ship again. I’ve enjoyed seeing other wlw couples on screen, but none ever stirred the same level of attachment—until Monica and Amelia from Grey’s Anatomy (Monmelia) came along. Their dynamic brings me back to those early days of following every hint of a storyline. Watching them, I find myself excited by the possibility of watching a meaningful, slow-burn romance unfold.

I love writing, and I love analysing, so I figured while Monmelia are still in their early stages, it’s a good time to start up an analysis blog of my own. Back in my Brittana fandom days, I used to love reading stuff like this, soaking up all the content I could get and living off the mere breadcrumbs the writers gave us. This feels no different. I plan on writing a blog per episode (where they feature) and just giving my potentially delusional but hopefully insightful thoughts on all of their interactions/scenes etc. But like I said, I love analysing, so if there’s anything I miss that you want me to analyse, just ask! I’m excited to go on their journey with them, so if you’re reading along too, enjoy, and hopefully the writers are kind to us!

So taking it back to the start of Monmelia, all my feelings and observations are below.

As a long-running character on the show it makes sense to start with Amelia. She seems to be a controversial character amongst the wider Grey’s fandom, but having binged all of her Private Practice backstory and really getting to understand her, she’s undoubtedly one of my favourites. She’s loyal to her loved ones, resilient to the core, super caring and incredibly misunderstood. Her history with love has been pretty tumultuous, and I, like many others, just want to see her settle down and find her person. 

“I have fallen in love so many times in my life, and it feels like a roller coaster. It feels thrilling and consuming and sickening and desperate, and this did not feel like that. This... I think I felt seen? I felt known. And, I didn't fall in love... I kind of slid into it, like two puzzle pieces that just kind of fit.” - Amelia Shepherd (18x20)

Taking Amelia’s own analysis on her love life into consideration, it’s safe to say her relationships have always been somewhat chaotic. Despite best intentions, the relationships haven’t provided the grounding stability she so desperately needs. At the point when Amelia makes this observation she is talking about her relationship experiences prior to Kai Barley. Relationships that were fuelled by passion and urgency, often amplified by her own emotional struggles and history of addiction, which brought both intensity and instability into her romantic life.

Amelia’s reflection on her relationship with Kai highlights a different kind of connection—one based on mutual understanding, acceptance, and emotional safety. She highlights the feeling of being “seen” , indicating a love that acknowledges her as a whole person, flaws included. It suggests a level of emotional intimacy and stability she hadn’t experienced before, where she feels accepted rather than overwhelmed. The metaphor of “sliding into” love, like “two puzzle pieces that just kind of fit,” captures a sense of natural compatibility, a relationship that feels right without force or drama. A kind of love that is comforting, subtle, and enduring, contrasting with her prior experiences that were more about immediate intensity.

We of course know that this relationship with Kai didn’t work out for Amelia in the long term, but I think it’s important to discuss, as it shows Amelia’s growth in her concept of love. Instead of chasing exhilarating but destabilising relationships, she finds herself pursuing a love that feels effortless and affirming—a connection that brings peace, mutual respect, and a sense of belonging, rather than an overwhelming rush of passion. However unfortunate it is that it didn’t work out, it still feels like a turning point in Amelia’s personal journey with love. 

Admittedly I’m not a huge fan of Amelia’s relationship with Kai, and I feel Kai led Amelia on and that Amelia looks at the relationship through rose tinted glasses when making that statement, but my own personal feelings aside I want to look at the relationship focusing solely on Amelia’s part in it. Because although Amelia describes it as a love that doesn’t make her feel desperate, we see her exhibiting needy behaviour towards the end of the relationship when Kai is moving to London. As soon as the move is announced, Amelia’s sole focus is on finding a solution to help Kai stay, without taking Kai’s desires into consideration.

“From the minute I told you about London, which is the biggest career opportunity of my life, you have made it about you. There were no words of encouragement or congratulations. No acknowledgement of how hard I worked for this.” - Kai Bartley (19x15)

And listen, I get it. It’s not that Amelia is being intentionally selfish, it’s that she’s so crippled by her deep fear of abandonment, an issue that has shaped her relationships and reactions throughout her life. For Amelia, the prospect of losing someone important triggers a defensive, almost desperate response to hold on tightly—a reaction that often leads her to prioritise her own emotional needs over her partner’s happiness and success. And again, it’s not that she doesn’t care about Kai’s success, but the abandonment is at the forefront of her brain, and so all she can think about is providing solutions to prevent that from happening.

Another layer to this dynamic is Amelia’s tendency to seek validation and stability through her relationships. She craves reassurance that her partner will stay, particularly after facing so much upheaval and loss in her life. This leads her to focus on her need for closeness, security, and continuity in the relationship rather than allowing space for Kai’s achievements and aspirations to be celebrated. Her behaviour in this situation highlights a recurring struggle to balance her own needs with those of her partner—a theme we’ve seen in her past relationships as well.

I guess my overriding point here is that I don’t think Amelia has met a partner that has been a true equal for her yet. It’s been more about how they’ve made Amelia feel, and less about how Amelia has added value to their life. She frequently looks to her partner to provide validation, security and love instead of doing the inner work necessary to cultivate this herself. She becomes attached quickly, often without considering her partner’s needs or how she can contribute positively to the relationship. 

For instance, with Owen, Amelia’s trauma and issues around motherhood led her to rely on him for emotional support, but she struggled to communicate openly, which hindered any real connection. Her fear of vulnerability meant that instead of showing up for Owen in the way he needed, she frequently pulled away, avoiding conversations about her trauma, motherhood, and her real needs.

Similarly, with Link, Amelia found someone steady and reliable, and she leaned on him during a time when she was navigating pregnancy and the uncertainties of motherhood. Yet when the relationship demanded a deeper level of self-awareness and mutual support, Amelia’s insecurities resurfaced, leading her to withdraw. She questioned whether she wanted the stability and family structure Link offered, revealing her ambivalence and a lack of personal clarity. Rather than growing with Link, Amelia leaned on him as a source of comfort and stability without fully committing to the relationship or working through her underlying issues.

And then with Kai, whom Amelia felt “seen” and “known” by, her attachment quickly became about what Kai could do for her emotionally, providing her with a sense of affirmation. When Kai’s career goals and reluctance about parenthood clashed with Amelia’s desires, her initial reaction was to convince them to stay rather than supporting Kai’s achievements or seeing things from their perspective.

And this dynamic illustrates a common theme for Amelia: she seeks out relationships as a means of avoiding loneliness, filling emotional gaps, or validating her self-worth. The result is often an imbalance where her needs take precedence, leaving little room for her partners’ needs or her own personal growth. 

For the record, I love Amelia, and I’m absolutely not saying she’s the problem in all of her relationships. Believe me I could talk at length about the various failings from her previous significant others, but this blog is focusing on Amelia and Monica, and so I think it’s important to reflect on where she’s at when Monica comes into the picture. 

Because what I want for Amelia more than anything, is to see her confront her traumas and insecurities independently and build her self-worth from within rather than relying on a partner to provide this for her. I want her to do the work so she doesn’t need to be dependent on others to feel whole. And then I want her to find a lasting, healthy love who challenges her and embraces her flaws, and loves her for exactly who she is. And I want her to do that for them in return, and to show up for her partner in ways I know she’s so capable of (because duh, she’s so damn loyal and caring and loving), because her own insecurities will no longer be in the way.

And this is exactly what I think Monica is going to be for her. And it’s the reason why I love them so much and why I plan to analyse every little moment, because call me delulu, but I’m so sure the arc is setting them up for this dynamic. I’m sure that Monica is going to be Amelia’s end game, and she’s going to enrich Amelia’s life in ways we can’t even imagine right now (and vice versa).

And I’m sure of this, because we’ve already seen snippets of this, because at the time of writing this they’ve just aired 21x05 which was so pivotal to their story IMO, but this is an ep by ep blog so more on that later.

But in essence, we already saw growth from Amelia in changing her concept of love during her relationship with Kai, but with Monica I feel we’re going to see even more growth in terms of a truly balanced partnership due to the fact Amelia is going to shift the emphasis of finding fulfilment via someone else.

Because when we meet Monica in 20x03, Amelia is already working towards being in that space. She light-heartedly tells Meredith that she’s got a cat because she’s given up on finding a human soulmate. This is important because it shows that since her fairly recent breakup with Kai, Amelia has opted to do something for herself that will meet her emotional needs, outside of a romantic relationship. It would be easy for Amelia to seek happiness from a meaningless rebound or jump into another relationship, but instead she decides to heal and directs her energy on doing something for herself.

The other important factor of that scene is the timing. And timing is something I feel will be discussed a lot in this blog. Just as Amelia is talking about giving up on her human soulmate, we get our first proper introduction to Monica as she beeps her horn at Amelia. In the context of the scene, she beeps because Amelia has taken her parking spot, but I can’t help but think that this is foreshadowing. As viewers we see Monica beep loudly right after Amelia’s statement of giving up on love, as if to say “Don’t give up yet, I’m right here!”. When someone honks their horn at you, it’s often startling and unexpected, much like Amelia’s romance (or crush for now) with Monica is. I don’t think Amelia is planning on finding love. She’s healing, seemingly working on herself and has declared she’s given up.

It’s apt (but also always the way it happens because there’s no better time for a relationship than when you’re hyper focused on yourself) that Monica would come in at this time. Nothing can convince me that the timing of Amelia announcing she’s given up on her soulmate coinciding with Monica’s first scene isn’t significant.

I could further deep this by analysing the fact Monica is distracted on her phone. She’s not paying attention until Amelia takes her spot. She only notices the spot becomes free when Amelia takes it, and then she gets all mad at her. It could possibly foreshadow the wider dynamic of Monica being too distracted by her divorce to pursue anything with Amelia, and perhaps like with the parking spot situation, Amelia will have to do something to get her attention (not necessarily intentional) and prompt Monica to realise her feelings and make her notice. It would be an interesting future parallel if this plays out. Of course this is all just speculation and we have no idea where the writers are going to go with this. And do I think the writers put this much attention to detail into callbacks and parallels? No. But I definitely think there’s a lot of intentional set up between these two. The soulmate line at the very least. And Amelia stealing Monica's parking spot like she's about to steal her heart.

Then we get to the scene in the hospital and both Monia and Amelia are surprised to find they’re working together after the earlier parking incident. Amelia is visibly embarrassed and it shows in her demeanour, and there’s clear tension in the air, but they put it aside to care of their patient. Monica immediately challenges Amelia, she talks over her during the consult and it clearly catches Amelia off guard and causes her some frustration. Monica is new to the hospital, so it could be that she’s trying to establish her authority. It sets a precedent of tension for them in their first few scenes, but more importantly it sets a precedent of Monica challenging and pushing Amelia further than she’s used to being pushed.

We see this dynamic explored further when they’re discussing surgical options for their patient. Amelia immediately dismisses Monica’s idea and Monica retorts by telling her to take a minute to think about it. Though Amelia is initially defensive to the suggestion, and Monica is seemingly unfazed by Amelia’s admission that she’s the Chief of Neurosurgery (plus the fact she doesn’t know Amelia), we can surmise that Monica is instantly confident in Amelia’s surgical abilities. She’s confident enough to challenge her and push her boundaries, and she knows she can get more out of Amelia. When we translate that to a future romantic relationship, it’s a good dynamic to have, and I think Amelia would really benefit from a partner who isn’t afraid to challenge her and push her to go deeper than she’s used to going. 

When Amelia is reluctant, Monica notes that impatience must be her thing. From the minute I heard this I assumed it was going to have deeper meaning to their arc, and knowing what we know now about Monica going through a divorce and not being ready for a serious relationship, I’m sure this is going to be significant for them. My initial thoughts at this point are that it’s going to be a slow burn and Monica isn’t going to be ready for a relationship for some time. They’ll undoubtedly grow closer, and Amelia is going to inevitably feel some impatience waiting for the relationship to progress. Perhaps she’ll even move on herself. I feel like this comment from Monica will for sure be a future parallel in which Amelia just needs to be patient to get her girl.

Amelia later confides in Richard that she is being pushed by the new peds surgeon to consider an alternative option that has more risks. Could that be foreshadowing Monica pushing Amelia to consider alternative options to love with more risks? Because with soulmate love, of course comes more risk of being hurt. He also notably points out that Monica is a boundary pusher, and draws comparison between her and Amelia. This has to be symbolic and perhaps a sign that both of them are going to push boundaries and open up new depths in each other.

Monica’s pushing works and Amelia figures out an alternative option. Yay for cute girlfriend knowing her full potential.

“Finally!” Amelia says as Monica and Blue enter the room.

“You do know we were waiting for you, right?” Monica flirts playfully responds.

The delusional deep thinker in me wants to say that this could be another potential foreshadow into their arc. Because although we know Monica isn’t going to be initially ready for a relationship with Amelia, it could be that the dynamic switches and in true Grey’s style, Monica will realise she’s ready just as Amelia has either started to move on (albeit casually) or maybe she’s just decided to stay single and focus on herself (which tbh would be huge growth for her), Basically, by the time Monica comes around, maybe Amelia just isn’t going to be available anymore (whether that be emotionally or physically). So when they finally get it together, it could be that they both had to do an element of waiting but in different ways. So for Amelia it’s like “Finally!” since she made the first move, but maybe it’s actually Amelia who delays them actually being together, hence Monica’s “You do know we were waiting for you.” But again, this is all just speculation. It could just be that the scenes are what they are at face value and there’s no deeper meaning. But I definitely think all this talk around patience and taking time has to mean something. There’s too many references to it.

The whole episode centres on Monica influencing Amelia to take time and have patience, and the success that follows when she does that, so it’s interesting to think how this could apply to a romantic relationship between them. It’s even more pivotal given their dynamic, and the obstacles between them on both sides (Monica’s divorce and Amelia’s own issues she needs to work on).

Time is clearly going to be of the essence for them, and I kind of hope that if they do go down the route of Amelia holding them up getting together that it’s because she’s decided to work on herself as opposed to her moving on with someone else, because that would be the ultimate growth for her. For her to have Monica finally want to date her but for her to be strong enough to say no until she’s ready and healthy in her own self, just like how Monica waits to date Amelia until she's ready and had dealt with the issues that came with her divorce. That would be symbolic of the message in this episode around patience and timing and how taking the alternative longer route can lead to the more successful ending, so I hope that’s what this episode was foreshadowing.

If Monica and Amelia could translate the way they work together, communicate and find solutions as effectively as they do in surgery to a romantic relationship, I’m telling you, they’d be a dream team!

“I’m thinking you’re much more effective when you take your time.”- Monica Beltram (20x03)

Could that quote from Monica be in relation to the context of the episode with Amelia finding an alternative option to the surgical procedure? Yes. But the deep thinker in me wants to believe it foreshadows Amelia either  a) Taking her time in waiting for Monica to come around by being her supportive friend during her divorce in the meantime, b) Taking the time to work on herself before pursuing a relationship with Monica, just like Monica has done with her by not jumping into anything.

Or it could be both?

Or neither.

Even the lighter scenes in this episode feel meaningful. Whether it be the bashful back and forth of “go ahead” when they reach for the same scrub brush, the persistent challenge from Monica or the lingering glances during surgery, there’s a clear set up of underlying tension right from the start with these two.

After a successful surgery, they’re told they make a great team, and Monica glances at Amelia. Before Amelia can fully acknowledge this, she hears the door slam and Monica has left. Perhaps a metaphorical sign of things to come with Monica not being ready to embrace everything between them?

But I can’t help but agree that Monica and Amelia are a great team, and as you can probably tell by my ramblings, I think that their dynamic at work could absolutely extend to a romantic relationship. 

And I’m optimistic enough to say I think this could be the relationship that Amelia needs. But also, one that Monica needs. And I’m excited to find out more about Monica as a character. But ultimately I think it will be a relationship that is going to equally push them both to grow. A relationship that’s all about challenge and timing and patience, but most importantly, about soulmates.

So Amelia, I hope you haven’t given up on finding your human soulmate. Because Monica is right there!

I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings, I try and make it as cohesive as possible I swear. I’ve already started writing up my thoughts on 20x04 so I hope you stick around for that, and for whatever else the Monmelia journey brings!

[monmelia]

Monmelia Analysis Part 3: Coffee & Compliments (20x08)

Okay, it’s the big one. Today I’m going to analyse 20x08, a pivotal episode for our girls, and one that marks a transition into more than just friends. Though the episode doesn’t lead to Monica and Amelia actually going on a date, Monica’s response doesn’t diminish the significance of Amelia’s invitation. This moment marks a crossroad for them, with Amelia’s willingness to ask Monica out reflecting her openness to exploring these feelings. Regardless of the outcome, it signals a shift in how she views their relationship, and plants the seed for a future that could hold more than friendship. So what is the turning point in Amelia letting her guard down enough to reconsider the angle of her relationship with Monica? This blog is going to delve into the build up of Amelia asking her on a date, and the moments I think are significant to that. 

Let’s go right back to the start of the episode and look at the first scene. Monica’s simple gesture of buying Amelia coffee is more than just a friendly act—it’s a catalyst that nudges Amelia to consider their relationship differently. Coming shortly after the Gem Crush interaction, where they shared an unexpectedly close moment, this small kindness feels like a natural progression, further deepening the bond between them.

For Amelia, who has a long history of turbulent relationships marked by emotional highs and lows, Monica’s thoughtfulness is new and disarming. Unlike the intensity Amelia is used to, this moment feels gentle, even nurturing, and her hesitant smile as she takes the coffee reflects an internal thought process. She’s intrigued and slightly off-guard, as though realising Monica’s kindness may signify something more than professional camaraderie. 

But this feeling is also something that’s new to her. With her past marked by intense, sometimes destructive relationships, Monica’s presence offers Amelia a different kind of connection—one based on small gestures, stability, and subtle intimacy. With that in mind, it’s interesting that Amelia picks up on the cue that Monica might be interested, since it’s not a way that she’s used to receiving love and/or romantic interest.

Amelia’s reaction to Winston, expressing surprise that Monica bought her coffee, further highlights the impact of this gesture. She could have dismissed it, yet instead, she shares it with someone, indicating that it meant something to her. Winston’s response—“maybe she was just being nice”—doesn’t fully satisfy Amelia, hinting that she’s starting to sense an undercurrent that might go beyond friendship. The fact that it’s Winston in this scene with her also feels significant, but more on that later.

From Monica’s perspective, buying Amelia coffee is likely a casual, thoughtful gesture, but it carries a subtle warmth. By offering to pay and even suggesting breakfast, Monica opens up a more personal connection, continuing to break down the purely professional barrier that has defined their dynamic previously. 

Her statement, “I want to,” suggests sincerity and intention, making it clear that this kindness isn’t obligatory—it’s genuine. This action reflects Monica’s comfort with Amelia and perhaps an unconscious willingness to show care, nudging their relationship into new, possibly romantic territory.

And if you’re into Chappell Roan, you’ll be familiar with the sentiment that even a small gesture like buying coffee can hold layers of meaning. It’s “never just coffee”, and in Monica and Amelia’s case, I see it as a quiet but powerful step toward something more. This seemingly mundane moment is loaded with possibility.

We then get to the next scene where Monica and Amelia are working together again on a patient. It’s another instance of moving the relationship forward from Amelia’s perspective, as Monica's praise in this scene openly establishes both her professional approval and personal affection. By telling the patient’s family that Amelia is "the best" and even that she’d choose Amelia as her own neurosurgeon, Monica sends a message of genuine respect and perhaps even admiration that goes beyond professional courtesy. We can see that she holds Amelia in high regard.

For Amelia, who is accustomed to emotionally charged relationships with unclear boundaries, Monica’s words are likely both reassuring and intriguing. This scene shows Amelia in a new light—she isn’t just a neurosurgeon to Monica, but someone Monica trusts and values. 

Monica complimenting Amelia through the patient adds an interesting layer to the scene. By highlighting Amelia’s skills to the family, Monica not only reassures them but also subtly communicates her respect for Amelia in a public, indirect way. This approach may feel even more meaningful to Amelia; hearing these compliments in front of others lends weight to Monica’s words and reinforces her sincerity.

The Gem Crush reference also plays an important role here as it blends admiration with affection. Not only does Monica see Amelia as an exceptional surgeon, she’s also someone she genuinely likes spending time with. What started as a small moment between them has now become an inside joke, signalling the comfort and familiarity growing between them. This combination of respect and lightheartedness captures the unique dynamic between them, and it’s easy to see why Amelia would read this as an invitation to explore their relationship further.

The episode continues with Monica opening up to Amelia about the challenges she encountered with treating trans patients back in Texas where she used to practise. The conversation highlights her dedication to compassionate care and her frustration with systemic barriers. By sharing this with Amelia, she reveals a powerful insight to her values, and this vulnerability serves to strengthen their bond as they relate over shared frustrations. They’re interrupted by Winston telling them that their patients (Caroline and Emmy) are missing, and it’s the second time he’s inserted himself in their scenes this episode. Coincidence? I think not. But more on that later.

Our girlies find more common ground in their compassion and shared values as the episode progresses. As Monica and Amelia are looking for Caroline and Emmy, we get to see Monica’s commitment to her patients, her empathy, and the depth of her connection with them. When she’s talking to Amelia about Emmy, we can see that she clearly see’s Emmy as more than a patient—she sees a child who needs support and stability. Monica's attention to Emmy’s loneliness and her willingness to spend evenings in her room after her shift is over reflects a deep-rooted compassion that goes above the role of a doctor.  

Amelia’s response, where she jokes that she and Monica might have been friends as kids, is a rare moment of openness. By comparing herself to Emmy and acknowledging her own challenging youth, Amelia reveals a sense of kinship with Monica, recognising shared qualities of resilience and rebelliousness. This is accompanied with playful affection from Monica as she states “probably not!”

The scene plays its part in allowing both the viewers and Amelia to understand more about Monica, as well as capturing the evolving relationship between Monica and Amelia, highlighting how they may see pieces of themselves in each other, drawn together by empathy and care for others. Remember when Richard drew comparison between them in 20x03? Here we’re starting to see evidence of that.

They strike a delicate balance between similarity and contrast. They’re alike in all the ways that matter—they share deep empathy, resilience, and dedication. These commonalities create a natural understanding and shared purpose. Yet, they differ in just the right ways: Monica’s grounded, steady presence provides a counterpoint to Amelia’s intensity and impulsivity, creating a dynamic where they gently challenge each other. Their personalities compliment rather than conflict, allowing them to bring out each other's best qualities without overpowering one another. 

When Monica and Amelia find Emmy and Caroline, and Monica is reassuring Emmy after her collapse, I can’t help but notice Amelia’s fond gaze. To me it captures another important shift in her feelings. It’s inevitable that witnessing Monica’s caring approach with Emmy and seeing how good she is with children would resonate with Amelia as a mother herself. It’s a moment that further highlights Monica’s empathy and patience—qualities Amelia would undoubtedly value in a partner. 

Though we don’t yet know Monica’s views on being a parent, it’s likely that Amelia watching Monica’s warm, natural interaction with Emmy and seeing her passion as a pediatric surgeon may give Amelia confidence that Monica likes children and could understand the central place Scout holds in her life. Amelia’s hopeful gaze suggests that she sees potential in Monica as someone who not only accepts her as a mother but might even welcome Scout into their lives too. This possibility would feel refreshing and reassuring for Amelia, especially given her past relationship with Kai, who struggled with this part of Amelia’s life.

I feel like this episode really builds their understanding of one another. There’s a strong sense of them having the same values and being able to support one another. For example when Monica is assuring Caroline that they see her, Amelia then further backs up Monica’s words, promising Caroline that everyone in the operating room will understand and respect her. This moment of teamwork reflects how Monica and Amelia compliment each other in their compassionate approach to patient care, with each bringing warmth, strength, and empathy that mirror their shared values.

For Amelia, who has struggled deeply with feeling unseen or misunderstood herself , watching Monica reassure Caroline that she is truly “seen” would be incredibly significant for her. It’s more than just a moment of comfort for the patient; it’s a gesture that reflects Monica’s ability to connect with others in a way Amelia has longed for herself. This gesture would make Amelia feel that Monica might also “see” her.

From Monica’s perspective, Amelia’s openness about her own fear of failing patients shows a kind of vulnerability that most surgeons might hesitate to reveal. Monica would likely see this as a sign of Amelia’s dedication, a trait she would respect and feels drawn to based on her own morals. Amelia’s honesty not only helps Caroline feel less alone but may also strengthen Monica’s trust in Amelia.  Together, they form a great support system for their patients, but also for each other.

Their next scene has Winston intruding for the THIRD time this episode. And I say intruding because I’m sorry, but he is (even though they approach him this time). So let’s talk about it, because I think it’s intentional. I think Winston is merely a plot device for Monica and Amelia getting together and I’ll do a whole separate blog on this but the fact is we still have to consider him as part of the storyline. I feel like his frequent presence in their scenes is foreshadowing the dynamic that’s going to play out between them. He’s literally going to third wheel them and delay them getting together, the way he third wheels some of their scenes. Him bursting into the room as the two of them are alone and interrupting their conversation (even if it is about a missing patient) is metaphorical of him interrupting and delaying their relationship. But in the third scene, Monica and Amelia are very much a united front, with Monica complimenting Amelia again and saying the success of the surgery is thanks to her (and can we just take a moment to notice how happy Amelia is when Monica says this!!!)

But not only is Monica complimenting Amelia, she’s complimenting her to Winston. So maybe all their scenes this episode are foreshadowing the general plot with them, which may be that Winston is going to interrupt and delay them getting together, but Monica’s going to choose Amelia in the end. They use Winston in this scene just to give us a Monmelia moment, just like they’re going to use him in the plot to give us something that moves them forward in getting together. Like I said, he’s a plot device. He’s never the focal point of their scenes, it’s always about them.

At the end of the scene when Monica and Amelia are talking to Caroline’s mom about the success of the surgery, we have a callback to 20x03 when another patient's mother makes the same observation. This time, however, it’s Monica who voices it, signalling a significant shift. In 20x03, the team dynamic was noticed externally; now, Monica is openly acknowledging their compatibility herself, marking the deepening of their professional partnership. Her willingness to name this connection suggests she recognizes and values it, signalling an evolving awareness of her dynamic with Amelia. And again can we take note of Amelia’s face when she says this!!!! And the way they look at each other!?!? I simply cannot.

Amelia’s smile when Monica acknowledges they’re a great team reflects the culmination of all the small moments leading up to this. Each little gesture—Monica buying her coffee, the compliments during surgery, and the mutual trust—have gradually opened Amelia’s eyes to the possibility of something more. The subtle flirtations and warmth between them have left Amelia feeling noticed, appreciated, and maybe even “seen” in ways she hasn’t been before. Her reaction when Monica praises her hands is telling (sorry but this is so gay of them also); it’s the final signal Amelia needs to express her feelings, a step she probably wouldn’t have taken without those cumulative moments.

When Amelia asks Monica out, her vulnerability is clear to see; she’s putting herself out there and she’s obviously nervous, but she’s met with an awkward silence and Monica looks shocked that Amelia asked. Amelia’s quick retreat shows her fear of misreading the signs, and it’s clear she perceives Monica’s lack of response as a rejection. But the important thing to note here is that Monica didn’t reject her.  Instead, she hesitates and explains her situation. This isn’t a straightforward “no”; it’s more of a “not yet” due to personal circumstances. This leaves room for hope and suggests that Monica could have feelings for Amelia but isn’t emotionally ready to pursue them. Her choice to explain rather than dismiss Amelia’s feelings hints at mutual interest and a foundation that could grow over time.

They never get a chance to finish the conversation because Winston annoyingly interrupts again. This further reinforces his role as a frequent obstacle in Monica and Amelia’s developing relationship. His untimely arrival right after Amelia’s vulnerable moment highlights how outside forces or “third parties” might continually interfere with their journey toward a deeper connection. In this scene, Winston unintentionally breaks the tension right as Monica is explaining her situation, disrupting what could have been a clarifying or even bonding moment between her and Amelia.

His presence here serves as a metaphor for the delays and challenges Monica and Amelia might face in getting together, hinting that Winston’s role could be one of complicating their dynamic further. It’s also telling that Monica uses Winston’s interruption as an excuse to leave, escaping the awkwardness of the situation instead of continuing the conversation about her divorce. His presence serves as a good distraction. This could foreshadow the fact Monica is going to use Winston as a distraction from more serious and vulnerable relationships (i.e. Amelia).

But all of this just highlights Monmelia’s resilience; because despite interruptions, they’ve proven able to sustain a meaningful connection so far. Winston’s intrusion might not just stall them but may even help them confront their feelings more openly as they continue to navigate the obstacles between them. 

So it’s clear from this episode that Amelia Shepherd has quite the crush on Monica Beltran. But is this just one way? I don’t think so. I’d actually go as far to say that Monica’s feelings are stronger than Amelia's. But I’ll analyse Monica’s perspective and the reasons why I think she feels deeper and why she didn’t take Amelia up on a date in my next blog post when I talk about the Winston of it all.

Until then, thanks for reading :)

[monmelia]

Monmelia Analysis Part 2: Elevators, Gem Crush & Growing Closer (20x04-20x06)

First of all thanks to anyone who engaged with the first blog! The fandom is pretty small at this point so I really wasn’t expecting anyone to see it, let alone interact with it, but it’s good to know people are enjoying it.

So picking up from where we left off with 20x03 where we see Monica and Amelia meet for the first time, I’m going to analyse 20x04 and 20x06 in one post since they don’t have as many scenes in these episodes. Their first scene in 20x04 is an infamous elevator scene (or lift as we say in England, but for the purpose of this blog I'll say elevator). 

We know that elevator scenes in Grey’s are poignant, and they’re often used as settings for major emotional and narrative shifts between characters, such as declarations of love, confrontations, or moments of deep personal realisation. Over the years, elevator scenes have become a recognisable element of Grey’s storytelling, so we the viewers associate these scenes with some of the most iconic moments in the series, making each new elevator scene carry emotional weight and nostalgia, especially as new generations of characters carry on the tradition.

And to think about it on a deeper level (as I always do, which if you read these blogs regularly I’m sure you’ll come to realise), it makes sense why the writers choose elevators as the setting for such catalyst moments, beyond the obvious nostalgic reasons:

Intimacy and Privacy: The confined space of an elevator forces characters into close proximity, creating a sense of intimacy and vulnerability that amplifies emotional moments. The characters are in a hospital bustling with people, so the elevator becomes a rare place of solitude where characters are compelled to confront their emotions without interruption.

Symbolism of Transition: Elevators physically move between floors, symbolising transitions and changes, both personal and professional. They represent a space where characters are in between places—just as they might be between life-changing decisions or personal growth. For example, Meredith and Derek’s relationship featured several pivotal moments in elevators, reinforcing the idea that they were constantly moving, both emotionally and in their complicated relationship status.

Emotional Tension and Release: The elevator serves as a place where tensions that have been building elsewhere in the episode can come to a head. The enclosed setting heightens the stakes, and characters often reveal truths or make decisions they might not have made in an open setting. The vulnerability of an elevator scene lets characters’ emotions take centre stage, leading to honest interactions that resonate with audiences.

Through these elements, the writers turn elevators into spaces where some of the show’s most memorable, heartfelt, and transformative moments unfold. And what do we get right at the start of Monmelia’s arc? An elevator scene. Or, an almost elevator scene, because Amelia opts to take the stairs. In cultivating feelings of nostalgia, the writers do a good job of paralleling such scenes, and we can draw comparison between 01x02 with Meredith and Derek and 15x06 with Meredith, DeLuca and Link. 

Just as Amelia does in 20x04, Meredith opts to take the stairs to avoid tension and being trapped in an intimate setting with potential love interests. It’s interesting that Amelia is happy to take the elevator with Owen, a character who she already shares a romantic history with, but as soon as Monica arrives she opts to take the stairs despite having already spent time waiting for the elevator. This suggests that despite barely knowing Monica, something about her stirs something up in Amelia already.

Narratively it could just be that Amelia just feels annoyed by Monica at this point due to the tension between them we’ve seen so far, but metaphorically we know that these scenes foreshadow romantic connection due to the previous parallels, so Amelia taking the stairs definitely means something.

Another scene that could be compared is one with Derek in 04x13, in which he finds himself stuck in an elevator with Addison, Meredith and Rose. When Mark gets into the elevator, he quips, “I bet you wish you’d taken the stairs.” This moment is layered with humour and tension as Derek’s romantic entanglements are uncomfortably visible in one confined space. The elevator becomes a metaphor for Derek’s life at that point—he’s figuratively “stuck” in his emotional entanglements and unresolved feelings, especially in relation to Meredith. It’s a space where his past, present, and future love life collide, reminding him of the complications and choices he must confront. Mark’s comment metaphorically hints that Derek’s romantic choices, which have brought him to this point, might have been avoidable had he approached relationships with clearer intentions or self-awareness.

In 20x04, Amelia’s decision to take the stairs may point to Monica, but Owen’s presence as the other character in the scene could be intentional if we compare it to the scene with Derek. Given Amelia’s history with Owen and her developing interest in Monica (however subtle it may be at this point), this choice could be symbolic of Amelia’s evolution and her need to distance herself from complicated romantic and professional entanglements. 

The parallel highlights two siblings who have both had their struggles with love and growth, but unlike Derek, who was physically confined by the elevator with his past, Amelia proactively chooses to “take the stairs,” symbolising her desire to break free from patterns that have historically complicated her relationships and kept her “stuck”. By avoiding the elevator, she avoids the forced intimacy and tension that the space would bring, signifying a newfound self-awareness and control over her choices. 

Not only does this parallel emphasise the generational growth in the Shepherd family, it shows character development for Amelia, which is something I highlighted as being significant to her in finding long-lasting love in my last blog. So if there’s one thing I can say I love about Monmelia so far, it's that we’re seeing growth from Amelia already. Rather than seeing her dive in head first into a new relationship, we’re seeing her make decisions based purely on herself. Her will to take the stairs implies a conscious choice to separate herself from old dynamics and patterns, showcasing her readiness to approach new relationships with clarity.

Another thing that I highlighted in my last blog was the way that Monica challenged Amelia, despite barely knowing her. I think this is somewhat of a fundamental dynamic between them because of their contrasting personalities. Whilst Amelia is a character we know to be impulsive and emotionally intense, Monica seems to be the opposite of that, so her personality innately balances out Amelia’s.

Monica approaches things more realistically, and this is evidenced in the scene where they are discussing the foetal surgery being cancelled. Monica instantly gets the mother’s fears, acknowledging how daunting the procedure sounds. She’s understanding and non-judgemental, indicating her ability to balance clinical detachment with genuine empathy. We can see how she respects the patient’s through her pragmatism.  

In contrast, Amelia’s reaction is marked by her disappointment, as she believes the surgery offers the baby the best chance. Her frustration reveals her dedication to high-risk procedures and her drive to use her expertise to make a difference, despite the inherent challenges. Amelia’s emotional investment emphasises her need for meaningful impact, an important part of her identity as a surgeon.

Monica’s calm, rational acknowledgment of the surgery’s risks offers a complementary perspective to Amelia’s drive and determination. The scene shows how Monica’s grounded nature challenges Amelia’s intensity, potentially guiding Amelia toward more self-awareness and patience. This interaction serves as a stepping stone in developing both their professional and personal relationship, illustrating how they might balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses in emotionally charged situations. 

As the episode progresses we see additional layers to their competitive rivalry as they dispute over Lucas. This underlines the tension in their relationship, but it’s not purely antagonistic. They are both clearly dedicated to their patients, and while they may clash, there’s an apparent mutual respect that’s developing. Whilst Amelia appeared to back down and listen to Monica in the previous scene when the surgery was cancelled, it’s the opposite here, with Monica relenting to let Lucas work with Amelia. This foreshadows a supportive yet challenging relationship, with each willing to push the other’s boundaries but also knowing when to surrender. Amelia’s authority and confidence, paired with Monica’s unflinching pragmatism, creates a layered relationship that promises further complexity in both professional and personal spaces.

We later see Amelia complaining about Lucas which Monica overhears and confronts her about. I find it interesting how much Monica seems to insert herself in Amelia’s business. She’s merely passing and heading home after a long day at work, anyone would think she’d be in a rush to get out of there, but instead she slows and navigates her attention to Amelia. She’s engaged enough to hear what Amelia is saying, and inserts her opinion. This symbolises two things to me. 1. Monica is somewhat invested in Amelia and 2. She’s not afraid to call her out (which I’ve probably touched on enough already in terms of Monica constantly challenging her).

It’s a short scene between them, but it’s also a scene that I feel subtly moves them along, because whilst we’ve seen the challenging side of their dynamic play out before it’s the first time we see a shift into territory that showcases more support. Monica opens on this by finding out the reasons that Amelia is upset with Lucas. However small the gesture is, it seems meaningful that Monica wants to stick around and understand Amelia’s frustrations from a place of genuine curiousity. She surely has better things to do now she has finished work, but she stays and listens to Amelia as she opens up about the fact Lucas is her nephew and she’s finding it hard to live with him. 

The scene is a catalyst to a conversation that’s more personal and not focused solely on work, further expanded when Monica offers Amelia a ride home. It’s a friendly gesture that suggests Monica is open to supporting Amelia outside of work boundaries. Although Amelia declines, this moment subtly builds trust, as Monica demonstrates her willingness to be there for Amelia beyond professional interactions. 

From Amelia’s perspective, her obvious awkwardness and nervous refusal suggests an underlying hesitation to engage with Monica on a more personal level. This reluctance mirrors her earlier decision to avoid the elevator with Monica, indicating a pattern of keeping emotional distance. By declining the ride, Amelia maintains control over the boundaries between her and Monica, perhaps out of a mix of vulnerability and professional caution.

We do have to consider as part of this though, why the need for boundaries in the first place if Monica is just a friend? It’s clear that something about Monica makes Amelia set these internal rules with herself right from the offset.

This repeated avoidance could symbolise Amelia’s ongoing struggle with intimacy and her cautious approach to new relationships, especially as she processes her past relationship challenges. Choosing not to rely on Monica here subtly suggests that Amelia isn’t yet ready to open herself up, even in small, casual ways, indicating a slow-burn tension between her desire for connection and her instinct to remain guarded. Not only does this reinforce Amelia’s growth within herself before rushing into relationships, it’s a potential foreshadow of their dynamic at large. Knowing what we know with the more recent episodes when Monica doesn’t pursue Amelia’s offer of going on a date (a whole separate blog on this later) it’s possible the storyline is going to go down the route of Amelia being quite guarded after what she perceives as a rejection, thus having to learn to become more comfortable stepping into a space of trust and support with Monica. We can safely say that even in the beginning, their storyline has the foundations of a slow burn, will they/won’t they etc.

Monica’s response to Amelia’s conflict with Lucas is indicative of her steady, supportive nature, highlighting her ability to maintain perspective even in a demanding environment. She indirectly compliments Amelia by stating “his aunt just performed groundbreaking surgery and he can’t even enter labs correctly.” which is likely an attempt to soften Amelia’s frustration and remind her of her own achievements. Amelia is too concerned about Monica’s labs being messed up to recognise the praise, but Monica does make sure to directly congratulate Amelia before she leaves.

Overall the scene depicts the evolving friendship between Amelia and Monica, moving from competitive friction to a bond of support. Monica’s empathetic response and practical advice reflects a deepening understanding of Amelia’s personal challenges, while Amelia’s openness about her relationship with Lucas shows she’s becoming more comfortable around Monica. Not comfortable enough to be in an enclosed space like a car or an elevator, but we’re getting there! 

As we go to 20x06 we see the support and vulnerability between them expand even further with the Gem Crush scene (probably my fave s20 scene of theirs). It’s the first time we see Monica in a more unguarded light, as opposed to her usual manner of calm and composed. Even the way she is sitting showcases her vulnerability, with her legs crossed like a child. She zones out and immerses herself in her game, suggesting she needs a mental escape, hinting at the emotional toll her work takes on her. It’s as if Amelia immediately picks up on the fact Monica isn’t okay as she stops to talk to her. The same Amelia who ordinarily seems to avoid being alone with Monica, feels compelled to be there for her in a time of need. This is significant, as it’s the first time we see Amelia remove the boundaries she’s created for herself to place herself in what could be determined as an intimate setting with Monica.

As their conversation unfolds and Monica reveals that she recently lost a patient, we see from the detail she goes into that she’s sharing a deeply personal and emotionally raw experience with Amelia. This openness is Monica���s first significant step in revealing her own humanity, breaking down the professional facade she usually maintains. Her vulnerability in discussing this patient loss allows Amelia to see a more intimate side of Monica, bridging the gap between them in a way that’s beyond their typical competitive or professional interactions.

It’s a step further than the growth shown in 20x04, because it’s a situation that involves more emotion, and it’s the first time we get to see Amelia step up into a supportive role, when it’s typically Monica calming or guiding her, often offering grounded perspectives that help Amelia navigate professional and personal challenges. Here, however, the roles are reversed. Amelia is the one who listens and provides comfort, showing her capacity to be there for others without centering her own experiences or emotions.

I’ve highlighted before my thoughts around Amelia’s past relationships, and how they often reveal her tendency to lean on others for stability. This moment signals a healthier balance in Amelia’s relationships. While she is accustomed to being the one in need of reassurance and comfort, this dynamic shift with Monica highlights her ability to provide it as well. It’s a sign of her ongoing healing, suggesting that she’s learning to be present for others, independent of her own emotional needs.  

By simply sitting with Monica as she processes the loss of her patient, Amelia demonstrates a new level of empathy and emotional strength. Instead of offering solutions or shifting the focus, she just listens, allowing Monica to share her pain. This act of companionship ultimately strengthens their bond, marking a transformative moment in Amelia’s journey toward more balanced, supportive relationships.

My favourite part of the scene is when Monica invites Amelia to play the game with her. It’s a small but deeply meaningful gesture that speaks to the growing intimacy and trust between them. Typically reserved and focused, Monica rarely lets down her guard, especially in a professional setting. By inviting Amelia into her personal space of relaxation—a rare moment where she’s vulnerable and off-duty—Monica signals a willingness to be seen as a complete person, not just as a surgeon or authority figure. It's significant that she feels Amelia's presence as a comfort to her, and wants her to stay and continue to provide that feeling.

This allows Amelia to see a side of Monica that few others likely see. It’s a signal that she’s comfortable enough to let Amelia witness her coping mechanisms, her quiet moments, and her ways of dealing with the heavy emotional toll of her work. In turn, this invitation represents an implicit trust in Amelia, positioning her as someone Monica feels safe with, even in her moments of vulnerability.

For Amelia, accepting the invitation marks a reciprocal moment of companionship, allowing her to connect with Monica in a low-pressure, non-professional way. Their shared activity becomes a space where both can unwind, momentarily shedding the weight of their stressful job roles. This seemingly simple invitation thus deepens their bond further, highlighting that their connection is evolving from professional respect to genuine companionship. 

And so honestly, this scene feels like a turning point for me, and sets a precedent for the events that unfold in 20x08, which I’ll discuss in my next blog. It’s significant seeing them share that space and time together, and if we think of elevators representing a confined space that amplifies tension, intimacy, and sometimes forced confrontation, the space they share to play the game represents a relaxed, open, and emotionally safe space where Monica and Amelia can connect.

It’s a stepping stone to the transition, the tension, the drama, the potential romance that comes with an elevator scene. They’re not ready for that heightened intensity yet. Instead, they’re beginning in a comfortable, open space where they can bond without pressure. This is particularly important for Amelia who we know is very guarded and who up until this point we have seen as quite avoidant towards Monica.

So I’ll end this by saying I love take the gem crush scene because it fits them right now, and it’s important to their story, and IMO it’s just the start.

Thanks for reading :)

[monmelia]

Monmelia Analysis Part 5: Stepping Back to Move Forward (21x02-21x06)

Okay this blog took way longer than planned, but it does bring us up to date with all of the current eps at least, because I thought it made sense to tie together all the Season 21 Monmelia scenes so far (since, admittedly, they’ve been pretty limited). Let’s start with 21x02, where our girlfriends girlies are reunited. Amelia has been reinstated and we can assume that it’s Monmelia’s first interaction since Amelia asked Monica to go out. The first thing I noticed when I watched this scene was how Monica instantly directs her attention from her patient’s scans to Amelia. She’s literally mid discussion with Levi and Mika, but as soon as she hears Amelia’s voice, she’s distracted. It’s as if everything else fades, giving serious “I’d know that voice anywhere” vibes. On Amelia’s side, her body language reads as awkward and perhaps a bit nervous, at least until her professional demeanour kicks in when Monica asks her to take a look at the scans.

The scene, however short, further highlights Monica's trust in Amelia's expertise and subtly reinforces their dynamic as equals who complement each other professionally. Monica clearly respects Amelia’s skills to figure out the right approach when she can’t herself. For a character as composed and confident as Monica, admitting uncertainty—and asking Amelia for help—is significant. It not only shows her professional humility but also hints at the personal comfort she feels in Amelia’s presence. This brief exchange is layered: Monica deferring to Amelia suggests an unspoken acknowledgment of her talent, while Amelia’s willingness to shuffle her plans to help hints at her continued interest in Monica, even if it's veiled in professionalism.

This is further explored in the next scene. Amelia’s suggestion of a coordinated dual approach is a bold, innovative solution, and her turning to Monica to gauge her opinion underlines their collaboration and trust. By asking Monica directly if she thinks the surgery is too risky, Amelia isn’t just seeking approval—she’s inviting Monica to weigh in as an equal partner in a complex and high-stakes decision. They have the balance of Amelia offering a solution and Monica making the call to proceed.

This scene not only moves the medical plot forward but also continues to build the subtle undercurrent of their personal dynamic—one based on mutual admiration and respect and their growing comfort in working closely together. 

The seamless teamwork between them continues during surgery where they successfully remove the tumour on Cal's spine. Their joint collaboration achieves a challenging goal, and we see once again how well they work together. How many times can this show reinforce that fact but not have them date or at least kiss, come on! When they later discover that Cal has a malignant tumour in his brain and doesn’t have long to live, the devastating reality of their work hits hard.

This revelation sets the premise for their final scene of the episode, where Monica and Amelia find solace in each other. And should I mention the fact that the song playing in the background of this scene has the lyrics "I see your face, and then I am okay. So pin me to the floor, give me something to long for." Sharing a quiet moment over Chinese food, their interaction becomes a way to process the day’s events together. It’s not just about the loss of Cal, but also about how they subconsciously lean on each other for strength. We see Amelia willingly opening up about her personal life, talking about Meredith and her family life alongside her professional challenges.

Amelia’s line about catching two interns kissing in the elevator is a light-hearted attempt to shift the mood, but her reflections on their days as interns reveal a deeper vulnerability. She’s yearning for a time when things felt simpler, when the future seemed full of possibility. Her honesty about feeling directionless after everything that’s happened—both professionally and personally—shows how much she’s struggling, especially with the upheaval in her department. But fear not Amelia, because for every case your department reassigns, there’ll be a case of Monica’s that she trusts you enough to collaborate on.

It could also indicate a deeper significance in that Mika and Jules, the interns in question, are unapologetically embracing their relationship, diving headfirst into the risks and rewards of being together (at this point anyway). This stands in stark contrast to Monica and Amelia, who are holding back, cautiously navigating their connection. While Mika and Jules symbolise spontaneity and seizing the moment, Monica and Amelia seem weighed down by their personal histories and fears of vulnerability. Amelia’s reflections on being an intern herself—when “everything was possible” and life felt brighter could also hint to a longing for a relationship as bold and carefree as Jules and Mika’s. She can remember being in relationships like that when she was younger, but now she is in a dynamic that is full of potential, yet held back by timing and the weight of past experiences. 

This isn’t a personal reflection on Amelia’s relationship with Monica, but rather a natural trajectory of being older, where decisions are often more cautious and considered. Unlike the carefree intensity of youth, Monica and Amelia’s connection has the benefit of maturity, allowing them to approach each other thoughtfully. In the long run, this measured pace could actually be a good thing, creating a strong foundation built on understanding, respect, and shared values rather than impulsivity. Taking the time to move slowly allows their relationship to grow organically, and it may ultimately deepen their bond, providing a more lasting connection.

Monica’s response, while brief, is meaningful. When she hands over her food and says, “I do,” it’s not just about knowing what to do next—it’s a quiet affirmation of her steadiness and willingness to be there for Amelia. It’s a simple gesture that speaks volumes about the comfort and understanding they’ve found in each other. Monica’s calm, grounding energy contrasts with Amelia’s uncertainty, reinforcing how they balance one another.

And can we talk about the food sharing in general? Because I don’t know about you guys but, I don’t share my food with just anyone. I love my food, so I have to really like someone to share it, so either Monica is just way nicer than me or she really likes Amelia (let’s go with the latter).  Sharing food is a universal gesture of care, and in this moment, it becomes a quiet but powerful way for Monica and Amelia to connect. After an episode filled with weighty decisions and emotional strain, this moment strips away the professional layers, leaving just two people finding comfort in each other’s presence.

Ultimately, this gesture encapsulates the quiet intimacy that defines Monica and Amelia’s relationship at this stage. It’s not flashy or overtly romantic, but it’s meaningful, showcasing their shared respect, understanding, and willingness to be present for each other in the moments that matter most.

My point here is that as much as the little screen time between them this season has been frustrating, and the slow burn is burning a little too slow, their dynamic still continues to build in meaningful ways through their brief moments together. Each interaction, no matter how small, adds another layer to their relationship, whether it’s through their impeccable teamwork, shared vulnerabilities, or quiet moments of connection. These subtle developments reinforce that their story is steadily unfolding, laying the groundwork for something deeper and more significant over time.

Or I’m just delusional.

But if you want to carry on being delulu with me then let’s talk about 21x05, an episode where they did actually get a good amount of screen time, and my favourite Monmelia episode so far. We begin with a Winston scene, but as far as those scenes go, I’m going to call it a win for us (no pun intended). It’s just yet another example of how Winston is purely a plot device for Monmelia. His role isn’t about building his own story but rather highlighting the unresolved feelings and growing complexities in Monica and Amelia’s relationship.

This scene also reinforces again, the fact that Winston and Monica’s relationship is casual and non-committal. The first thing that highlights this is Winston’s comment about not seeing Monica in a while, which suggests they haven’t hooked up recently. This shows that their dynamic lacks consistency or depth—it’s more of a situational relationship, convenient and light. The discovery of the lingerie, which doesn’t belong to Monica, adds another layer, implying that Winston is hooking up with multiple people. However, the way Winston and Monica laugh off the mix-up without any jealousy or tension further solidifies their casual connection. There’s no possessiveness or emotional investment, indicating that neither of them sees this relationship as serious.

The scene shifts, however, when Amelia enters, and we see an entirely different dynamic. Amelia’s facial expression—a mix of what appears to be confusion and hurt—suggests she’s caught off guard. It’s possible she feels awkward and unsure of how to process the situation, especially given her growing feelings for Monica. Her hurt expression likely stems from interpreting the scene as something it’s not. To Amelia, this interaction may read as Monica being closer to Winston than she actually is, leading to feelings of rejection. When Amelia asked Monica out, Monica’s justification for not pursuing it was that she was going through a divorce. Knowing Amelia, she likely perceived this as a rejection regardless, but now, seeing Monica acting shifty with her former brother-in-law and lingerie hanging out of her pocket, the rejection feels even more pointed.

We, the audience, know that Monica is pursuing Winston because she knows it doesn’t have the risk of turning serious, a point I explored in my last blog. However, Amelia doesn’t have this context. From her perspective, the girl she likes appears to be entangled in something with Winston, adding to her sense of vulnerability and rejection.

Monica’s reaction is equally telling. Her awkwardness and immediate decision to hide the lingerie reflect discomfort with Amelia seeing this interaction. Monica’s sheepish demeanour suggests that she’s worried about how Amelia perceives her, and her quick switch to professional mode could be a way to diffuse the tension and regain control of the situation. This reaction shows that Monica is aware of Amelia’s feelings, even if she hasn’t acted on them. By hiding the lingerie, Monica likely doesn’t want Amelia to know she’s hooking up with Winston, as it’s something she views as insignificant and not worth causing Amelia hurt over. She probably feels even more mindful given the fact Amelia asked her out and she didn’t say yes. This suggests Monica recognises the potential for her actions to affect Amelia emotionally, even if she isn’t fully ready to confront what that means. Her attempt to shield Amelia from this moment reflects a desire to protect her feelings, further emphasising the growing awareness Monica has of their dynamic and the weight it carries.

This is further evidenced in the next scene, when Monica attempts to address the situation. This reflects her awareness that Amelia may have interpreted the earlier situation with Winston incorrectly. Monica likely feels the need to clarify because she values her connection with Amelia and doesn’t want this misunderstanding to create a rift between them. This further suggests that Monica recognises the weight of Amelia’s feelings—or at the very least, the importance of their relationship. The fact that she even attempts to explain, despite Amelia shutting it down, signals that Monica cares what Amelia thinks. It could just be that she doesn’t want to hurt her, or it could represent Monica’s own feelings for Amelia. More on that later!

One thing I noticed is that Amelia’s behaviour in this scene is very standoffish, a stark contrast with her more open, warm demeanour in previous interactions with Monica. This shift reinforces the idea that she feels hurt and rejected after seeing Monica with Winston. Amelia’s decision to keep things strictly professional—delivering a quick update and immediately trying to leave—shows she’s attempting to protect herself emotionally. Her defensive response, “None of my business,” is likely her way of shutting down further explanation to avoid hearing something that might hurt more. It’s a classic self-preservation tactic: feign indifference to maintain control over her emotions.

This scene captures their emotional misalignment perfectly. Amelia feels rejected and retreats into professionalism to shield herself, while Monica, perhaps sensing this retreat, feels the need to reach out and explain. However, Monica’s hesitation and Amelia’s defensiveness create a barrier neither is ready to breach. The tension highlights their mutual discomfort and growing awareness of each other’s feelings, setting them up for further development.

But in the next scene, we see another shift, as Amelia steps in to support Monica under pressure. Monica’s visible struggle as she tries to reassure Ofelia’s parents showcases her emotional investment and the immense responsibility she feels for her patients. However, the weight of the situation becomes overwhelming, and for a moment, Monica appears to lose her composure, as though dissociating under the pressure. I actually have a theory about this particular situation and why Monica may have reacted this way, but I talked in depth about it in my last blog so I’ll link here if you want to check that out.

Amelia’s response is instinctive, all of the earlier awkwardness with Winston is irrelevant now and Amelia favours supporting Monica and reassuring the patients over guarding her own vulnerabilities. It’s as though Amelia subconsciously senses when Monica needs help, stepping in with a calm, reassuring tone that reorients the conversation. Amelia’s words—acknowledging the parents’ fear while emphasising that Monica’s team is ready to act—bring the focus back to the expertise and readiness of the medical team, something Monica seemed momentarily unable to communicate.

What’s significant here is the way Monica looks to Amelia for support before admitting they’ve lost contact with the helicopter. This silent exchange, followed by Amelia’s intervention when Monica struggles, reflects the trust and understanding between them. Monica’s reliance on Amelia in this moment isn’t just professional—it’s deeply personal, as though she knows Amelia will step in when she falters.

This once again demonstrates how well they balance each other: Monica brings steadiness and leadership most of the time, but when she falters, Amelia’s ability to take control with empathy and confidence shines through. It’s a powerful reflection of how their relationship—both professional and personal—has evolved and how they can be pillars of support for one another.

The rare dynamic of Monica losing her composure and Amelia having to stay strong to support her continues into the next scene. Monica’s reaction here is raw and unguarded. Her spiralling thoughts—fixating on the worst-case scenario—reveal how deeply she internalises the responsibility of her role. Her behaviour here suggests a struggle to maintain composure, as the weight of the situation overwhelms her.  It also speaks to the tremendous pressure she places on herself to protect everyone under her care, even in situations beyond her control. This moment starkly contrasts with the calm, collected Monica we’ve seen previously, reinforcing her humanity and the emotional toll her profession takes.

Her admission that she “had to go to the worst case scenario” offers insight into her psyche. This pattern of thinking likely stems from past trauma, programming her to anticipate the worst to emotionally prepare herself. My own theories aside, I hope we get to see more of Monica’s backstory soon to unravel this. This tendency to anticipate the worst could explain her hesitance to explore something deeper with Amelia. If Monica has experienced significant losses or emotional disappointments in the past—such as the breakdown of her marriage—it’s likely that she’s programmed herself to keep relationships at arm’s length to avoid further pain.

This may also explain why she’s momentarily chosen Winston, a low-stakes, casual connection, over Amelia, whose potential as a serious partner would require Monica to confront her fears of vulnerability and risk. Subconsciously, Monica might be projecting this “worst-case scenario” mindset onto her dynamic with Amelia, fearing rejection, failure, or emotional hurt if things don’t work out. It’s a protective mechanism, keeping her from fully investing in something she knows has the potential to be meaningful but also more emotionally challenging.

Amelia’s steady and empathetic response in this scene is significant in this context. By meeting Monica where she is emotionally and offering advice about accepting situations “at face value,” Amelia is gently challenging this mindset. She’s suggesting, whether consciously or not, that Monica doesn’t always have to brace for the worst—that sometimes, taking things as they come can allow for forward movement and growth. This moment subtly reinforces how Amelia could help Monica break free from these patterns, opening the door for a healthier, more open connection between them.

Additionally, Amelia’s words offer insight into her own experiences, making her advice carry even greater weight. When Amelia says, “I’ve experienced enough that I always go to the worst case scenario,” she’s revealing that she understands Monica’s mindset on a deeply personal level. Amelia, too, has been shaped by trauma—losing loved ones, battling addiction, and navigating grief—and has likely developed similar coping mechanisms of bracing for the worst. This shared tendency connects them, as both of them have used this mindset as a way to maintain control in situations where life feels unpredictable.

However, Amelia’s advice to “accept the situation at face value so you can keep moving forward” reflects her growth. While she acknowledges that she still struggles with this instinct, her words suggest that she’s learning to balance the need for emotional anticipation with the importance of staying present. Her willingness to share this wisdom with Monica subtly positions Amelia as someone who could help Monica navigate her own struggles with control and vulnerability.

On another level, Amelia’s advice carries a poignant double meaning. It not only applies to Monica’s crisis but also seems to mirror Amelia’s own efforts to accept her feelings for Monica and move forward despite what she perceives as rejection. Amelia likely views Monica’s interactions with Winston and her reluctance to act on their connection as signs that she isn’t ready or interested. Yet, Amelia’s ability to stay present and offer emotional support in this moment—despite her own feelings—shows her maturity and capacity for empathy. It’s as though Amelia is applying her own advice in real time: accepting the situation at face value while continuing to show up for Monica when she needs it most.

This dual-layered moment reveals how both of their pasts inform their present behaviours and how their connection could become a source of healing for one another. Monica, who fears emotional risk, and Amelia, who understands the pain of vulnerability but still chooses to offer her support, create a relationship rich with potential for growth and understanding.

This scene provides a nice parallel to the Gem Crush scene, but with a deeper emotional intensity. In both cases, Amelia instinctively knows when Monica needs someone to steady her, but this scene highlights a growing emotional intimacy between them.

While the Gem Crush scene hinted at their chemistry and ease with one another, this moment takes it further, showcasing a level of trust and vulnerability that wasn’t as overt before. Monica isn’t just frustrated; she’s overwhelmed by the emotional weight of her responsibility. Amelia stepping in while Monica visibly struggles shows how their dynamic has evolved from casual camaraderie to something more personal and supportive.

What’s fitting in all this is the song choice in the background of this scene (Breakdown by Ships Have Sailed). Everything means something to me so I looked into the lyrics and the meaning of the song, and the way it just fits them??? The band’s frontman describes the song as “an exploration of our lowest moments, the times we’re broken, exhausted, completely tapped out and we just need a lifeline.” He goes on to say that it was born from conversations with his co-writer where they talked about how hard it can be to admit that they needed somebody to hold them upright during those difficult times. This is representative of the fact Monica showed her vulnerability enough to confide in Amelia, and though she might have found that really difficult and seeking comfort from someone might not come naturally to her, she relents and lets Amelia in. It could also foreshadow a dynamic in which Amelia helps Monica through even bigger things in life, i.e. her divorce, past traumas etc.

With lyrics like “We’re all looking for a lifeline, a way to make it through the storm,” the music reflects both the literal storm affecting the helicopter’s journey and the emotional storm Monica and Amelia are navigating. Monica’s visible breakdown and Amelia’s role as her “lifeline” highlight the song’s central theme of finding support amidst chaos.

Read that again. Amelia Shepherd is Monica Beltran’s lifeline. 

The repeated message of breaking down captures Monica’s current state, while the song’s hopeful tone suggests that breakdowns can lead to breakthroughs—a sentiment that applies both to Monica’s struggles and to the progression of her relationship with Amelia. Additionally, the lyric “I’ll hold on, I won’t let go,” mirrors Amelia’s actions. Despite her own internal conflicts—her perceived rejection by Monica and witnessing Monica’s dynamic with Winston—Amelia chooses to stay present, offering steady support instead of retreating. 

This scene not only deepens their individual character arcs but also solidifies the connection between Monica and Amelia. The parallels to earlier moments, combined with the song’s poignant lyrics, emphasise how their relationship is slowly but surely developing.

Now to the final scene of the ep, one that will have people saying it’s the end of their chapter and it’s them giving us closure. Well, I don’t think so. And here’s why…

I’m starting with acknowledging Monica’s recognition of Amelia’s role in calming her down, because it’s an important moment for them. Up until now, we’ve often seen Amelia supporting Monica in subtle ways, but this is one of the first times Monica openly acknowledges it. By admitting, “I was freaking out and you calmed me down,” Monica demonstrates an emotional vulnerability that mirrors Amelia’s earlier willingness to step in and provide support. This moment shows how their relationship is not one-sided—they both bring value to each other, creating a dynamic where support flows both ways. Remember in my first blog when I said I wanted Amelia to find a lasting, healthy love who challenges her and embraces her flaws, and loves her for exactly who she is. But I want her to do that for them in return, and to show up for her partner in ways I know she’s so capable of? Well Monica Beltran was clearly the answer here.

But then we have Amelia’s response; “It’s the irony that you would see if you knew me better.” This line is deeply reflective of Amelia’s character and highlights a gap in their understanding of each other. Amelia’s history of impulsivity, struggles with addiction, and emotional volatility likely make her see herself as someone who is far from a calming presence. The irony she mentions stems from this self-perception—she finds it almost laughable that Monica, someone she clearly respects, would view her as a grounding force. It subtly suggests that Amelia doesn’t feel fully “seen” by Monica yet, and while their connection is growing, there’s still room for them to learn more about each other on a deeper, personal level.

This line also hints at Amelia’s emotional growth. While she may not see herself as someone inherently calming, the fact that she successfully supports Monica during her breakdown shows how far she has come in her own journey. It’s a reminder that Amelia is more than her past struggles—she is capable of being a supportive, reliable presence when it matters.

Monica’s decision to bring up Winston for the second time is very telling. As I said earlier, once could be interpreted as Monica trying not to hurt Amelia’s feelings, but twice feels deliberate. This repeated effort to clarify that her relationship with Winston is “just casual” could mean a couple of different things. On one level, this could be a sign of deeper feelings—Monica may subconsciously want to keep the door open with Amelia or ensure that Amelia doesn’t misinterpret her actions. Alternatively, it reflects Monica’s growing awareness of the emotional undercurrents between them. Her insistence on explaining herself shows that she deeply values Amelia and she's adamant this misunderstanding isn't going to affect their connection.

Amelia’s response, while calm and less defensive than earlier, feels like a subtle shift in her perspective. Telling Monica that she doesn’t owe her an explanation reflects her acceptance of the situation and her effort to take her own advice: to “accept things at face value” and move forward. While it’s clear she still cares about Monica, Amelia is choosing to respect her boundaries and keep their dynamic intact rather than risk alienating her. Her willingness to say, “You and I are good,” and move on shows her maturity and her ability to prioritise the connection they already have over her personal feelings.

However, this doesn’t mean Amelia doesn’t care—her earlier defensiveness and her body language in this scene suggest that her feelings for Monica are still present. She may be acting as though it doesn’t bother her, but the fact that Monica feels compelled to explain herself again hints that both of them recognise the unspoken tension between them. Amelia’s choice to step back rather than push reflects her respect for Monica’s situation and her desire to maintain their connection, even if it means setting her feelings aside for now.

One thing to pay attention to is Meredith’s voiceover that overlays the scene. The line “We tell ourselves we don’t care” directly overlays Amelia walking away from Monica, making it a clear reflection of her internal state. Throughout the episode, Amelia has been trying to convince herself that she’s unaffected by Monica’s connection with Winston. Her standoffishness earlier and her calm but emotionally distant response in this final scene are classic examples of someone faking indifference to protect themselves from further rejection. This line perfectly captures Amelia’s defensive strategy: she’s putting on a façade of not caring to maintain composure and to keep Monica in her life in some capacity.

“The old saying goes fake it till you make it, because sometimes pretending you have confidence helps you find the real thing. When it doesn’t work, when life doesn’t give us second chances or dress rehearsals, you can walk away or you can go all in. We tell ourselves we don’t care. We can try to hide our doubts and fears. Or we can accept the unknown and dive in. The real thing is better anyway.”

- Meredith Grey (21x05)

However, Amelia’s consistent effort to stay composed shows how much she does care. By choosing to be supportive rather than retreating entirely, Amelia demonstrates her ability to prioritise the connection she has with Monica, even if it’s not in the form she hoped for. This moment shows Amelia “faking it” emotionally to keep moving forward, just as the voiceover suggests.

If we look at the voiceover as a whole, it’s interesting how it encapsulates the overarching trajectory of Monica and Amelia’s relationship so far:

“Fake it till you make it”

Both Monica and Amelia are faking something to maintain stability in their lives. Monica is “faking” a connection with Winston, using their casual relationship as a distraction while avoiding the risk and emotional vulnerability of pursuing something serious with Amelia. For Amelia, her “fake” indifference toward Monica’s situation is a defence mechanism, helping her stay grounded while dealing with her feelings.

“When it doesn’t work, when life doesn’t give us second chances or dress rehearsals, you can walk away or you can go all in.”

This speaks directly to the choice that both women face. Monica is at a crossroads—she can keep walking away from her feelings for Amelia by hiding behind her casual dynamic with Winston (a blatant dress rehearsal), or she can confront her emotions and take the leap. Amelia, too, faces a choice: she can maintain her façade and protect herself emotionally, or she can let herself be vulnerable by staying open to the possibility of something deeper with Monica in the future.

“We tell ourselves we don’t care. We can try to hide our doubts and fears.”

This mirrors both Monica and Amelia’s actions. Monica hides her fears of commitment and rejection behind her relationship with Winston, and Amelia hides her hurt feelings by pretending to be unbothered. However, this pretence is a temporary fix—it’s clear from their interactions that these unspoken emotions are shaping their dynamic and will likely need to be addressed eventually.

“Or we can accept the unknown and dive in. The real thing is better anyway.”

This line hints at the potential of Monica and Amelia’s relationship. While both are currently navigating fears, doubts, and external baggage, the voiceover suggests that “the real thing”—a meaningful connection between them—would be worth the emotional risk. It foreshadows the possibility that they might eventually “dive in” once they’re ready to confront their feelings.

This final scene of Monica and Amelia appears to be part of a larger, intentional framing of relationships in the show. Like Monmelia, the other characters featured during the monologue—Levi and James, Jo and Link—are all grappling with external factors or internal fears that impact their relationships. James just told Levi about his husband that passed away and how Levi is the first person he’s properly dated since then. Jo and Link are overwhelmed and scared at the prospect of having twins. For Monica, it’s her divorce and her fear of vulnerability; for Amelia, it’s her fear of rejection. The contrast with Lucas and Simone, who are unburdened by the baggage of age and experience, emphasises how much emotional weight the other couples carry. It’s a stark reminder that emotional baggage and life’s complications often dictate how relationships evolve—or don’t. They come into shot just as Meredith talks about accepting the unknown and diving in, as if to represent what all three of the other couples could be if they too followed this mantra.

This scene and the voiceover capture where Monica and Amelia stand right now: caught between fear and possibility, faking stability while navigating their deeper emotions. It beautifully sets us up for what could happen if they both choose to dive in and accept the unknown, rather than walk away. 

That’s why I’m not too worried about the lack of scenes between them in 21x06. Of course I wish we had them, but I’m not concerned, I think it’s just part of the build up. I actually think it was good for both of their characters, in fact, it’s a crucial step in their individual growth. Relationships, especially ones with potential for depth and longevity, often require both people to build their own foundations before fully committing to one another. This episode provides the space for Monica and Amelia to focus on themselves, which is something I’ve always believed is key to their relationship working in the long run.

For Monica, we see her thriving in her career, succeeding in her surgeries and driving her professional arc forward. This is an important aspect of her character development—she’s finding her footing again after her divorce and proving her competence and value in the surgical world. By focusing on her own growth, Monica is laying the groundwork for being emotionally ready to invest in something meaningful when the time comes.

For Amelia, the episode allows us to see her in her role as a mother, spending time with Scout and highlighting the centrality of her son in her life. This not only reinforces Amelia’s identity outside of her professional life but also reminds us of the responsibilities she brings to any relationship. Seeing her embrace this part of her life demonstrates her own emotional growth and her commitment to balancing motherhood with the other areas of her life. Monica would have to accept this part of Amelia should she want to pursue a relationship with her.

Together, these arcs show that Monica and Amelia are taking the time to grow as individuals, which is essential for their relationship to flourish. Rather than rushing into a relationship before they’re ready, both of them are focusing on their personal needs and priorities. 

There are a couple of key parts we could focus on too. When Amelia is talking to Jo about her relationship with Link, we could draw some comparison to Monica’s current dynamic with Winston. Monica may not be "forcing" anything in the same way, but her casual relationship with Winston could stem from a similar fear of facing deeper emotions. Just as Link may have been using his relationship with Amelia as a way to avoid confronting his true feelings for Jo, Monica could be using her casual connection with Winston as a way to delay or avoid the vulnerability that pursuing something with Amelia would require.

This suggests that both Monica and Link might be acting out of a fear of change or emotional risk, staying in situations that feel "safe" even if they lack authenticity or longevity. Amelia’s insight here could reflect how she perceives Monica’s dynamic with Winston, whether she’s consciously drawn the connection or not. While the context is different, the emotional dynamics align, but this time Amelia has switched roles. She is the "Jo"—the authentic relationship with Monica, representing depth and genuine connection, rather than the one who is used as an escape or a distraction.

In the very next scene, Monica makes a comment during surgery about her patients: “I think it’s sweet. They know what they want and they’re not holding back.” This line could easily apply to her own dynamic with Amelia. Monica has been hesitant to fully confront or act on her feelings, instead retreating into the safety of a casual relationship with Winston. If Monica were to take her own observation to heart, she might realise that holding back isn’t serving her—and that acknowledging what she truly wants could lead to something much more fulfilling.

Similarly, Amelia has recognised that Link’s dynamic with her was rooted in fear and avoidance rather than genuine connection. If she reflects on this, she could see parallels in Monica’s relationship with Winston. Just as Link was using his connection with Amelia to avoid confronting his deeper feelings for Jo, Monica may be using Winston as a way to avoid addressing the emotional risks that come with pursuing something real with Amelia. Recognising this could give Amelia some clarity and help her see that Monica’s actions aren’t necessarily a rejection of her, but a reflection of Monica’s own emotional struggles.

It’s fitting, then, that both Monica and Amelia reflect on sentiments in this episode that could help them if they took their own advice. Monica’s admiration for her patients’ authenticity and Amelia’s emphasis on honesty and vulnerability are precisely what they need to embrace if they are to move forward together. These reflections highlight the emotional barriers they’re each grappling with and offer hope for what could happen if they both find the courage to not hold back.

This season so far has been all about the slow, careful build for Monica and Amelia, and while it’s easy to get frustrated at the pace or lack of screen time, the groundwork being laid feels intentional. Every scene, no matter how brief, adds a layer to their dynamic, revealing the emotional complexities both characters are navigating and setting us up for something long term.

What’s fascinating is how both Monica and Amelia are mirroring each other in their struggles with vulnerability and fear. Monica, hesitant to confront her deeper feelings for Amelia, hides behind the safe, casual dynamic with Winston, while Amelia, feeling rejected and uncertain, chooses to protect herself by pretending she’s unaffected. Yet despite their missteps, we’re seeing a connection that continues to grow organically through mutual support, professional respect, and those small moments of quiet intimacy that mean everything.

What stands out in all of this is the potential they have—not just as individuals but as a team. Their ability to balance each other, to step in when the other falters, and to provide emotional stability creates a dynamic that is both deeply compelling and rich with possibility. The show has been slow-burning their relationship for a reason: these are two people who need to grow individually before they’re ready to take the leap together. But when they do, it will be worth the wait.

For now, we’re watching Monica and Amelia navigate their own arcs, finding strength in themselves while still holding space for each other. Whether it’s through Monica’s acknowledgment of Amelia’s calming presence or Amelia’s ability to support Monica without letting her feelings get in the way, their connection feels like it’s steadily building.

As much as I want them to just dive in already, there’s something satisfying about watching them take their time. They have to step back to move forward. But until then, I’ll be here, overanalysing every look, every line, and every shared carton of Chinese food. 

Let’s carry on being delulu together! <3

[monmelia]

Monmelia Analysis Part 4: The Winston of it All (20x09-20x10)

To truly understand Monica and Amelia’s evolving relationship, we need to analyse what I like to call “the Winston of it all.” In my opinion Winston’s presence in their story doesn’t pose any lasting threat to their bond. I think he’s there to serve as a necessary counterbalance and often even as a catalyst for their relationship. Winston's role as a "third wheel" of sorts allows us to see Monica and Amelia's dynamic in sharper focus. There are reasons why Monica is seeking Winston out as opposed to Amelia, and the reasons aren’t necessarily bad. This blog will examine 20x09 and 20x10 and delve into how Winston’s involvement shapes their trajectory, focusing on why Monica opts for this path instead of moving forward with Amelia.

Starting with the scene in the bar leading to Monica and Winston’s hook up, I want to draw attention to Meredith's voiceover:

“Research suggests that up to 40% of our day is spent acting out existing habits rather than making new decisions. From sleep to personal hygiene to diet and exercise. Some of our habits serve us well. Others can be more complicated. If you want to change a habit, behavioural scientists suggest starting small. Make one minor adjustment over time, it creates a domino effect that helps us make bigger changes down the line. Make a radical change and you've set yourself up for failure.” - Meredith Grey (20x09)

The voiceover emphasises habits. Layered over Monica and Winston’s scene, it could suggest that their actions are not mere spontaneity but rather reflect an emerging habit—one born out of ease and familiarity rather than a decision to build something meaningful. Both newly divorced, they’re likely leaning on each other to cope. I’ll break down the voiceover and how I think it relates to Monica:

“Research suggests that up to 40% of our day is spent acting out existing habits rather than making new decisions.”

Winston is becoming a habit—a comfortable, casual relationship without depth or commitment. Engaging in this pattern is a way for Monica to manage any potential post-divorce loneliness. While casual relationships of course have their purpose, they rarely demand the personal growth that committed partnerships do. Choosing Amelia would mean making a new decision and stepping into a new chapter, one that offers potential for genuine intimacy, transformation, and connection—something Monica is not ready for yet.

“Some of our habits serve us well. Others can be more complicated. If you want to change a habit, behavioural scientists suggest starting small. Make one minor adjustment over time, it creates a domino effect that helps us make bigger changes down the line. Make a radical change and you've set yourself up for failure.”

Some habits provide security, while others are inherently complicated. Choosing Winston represents Monica’s choice to remain in her comfort zone, taking small steps in moving on rather than dating more seriously. A relationship with Amelia would be a radical change, forcing her to confront her past and heal rather than sidestep it. While Winston offers a safer, less emotionally demanding path, Amelia represents a leap towards deep commitment and vulnerability. Given Monica’s recent divorce, such a change could feel overwhelming. There's more to lose and potentially more chance of failure.

“The principle of the domino effect is a double-edged sword. It can help us build healthy habits but it can lead to destructive tendencies as well. One small misstep becomes one bad habit.”

Hooking up with Winston could set off a “domino effect,” where each interaction reinforces the tendency to seek quick fixes over addressing deeper needs. This cycle risks creating stagnancy and avoiding personal growth. By repeatedly choosing Winston, Monica might inadvertently enter a cycle that keeps her from the difficult but rewarding path of exploring a more meaningful relationship with Amelia. However, Winston’s role could also spark the opposite effect. I highlighted in my last blog how Winston’s casual relationship with Monica could become the very trigger that brings her closer to Amelia. Each interaction with Winston sets off a chain reaction, which could make Monica realise what she’s missing. Now this kind of domino effect I wouldn't be opposed to. Note that the line about destructive tendencies overlays the exact scene with Monica and Winston, so that’s all I’m seeing Winston as. A destructive tendency that’s delaying a healthy, long lasting relationship with Amelia. A small misstep that becomes a bad habit.

“Of course, none of us is perfect and so much is out of our control. All you can do is make the best choices available to you and hope they don't come back to bite you.”

A potential foreshadow to Monica’s choice to pursue Winston instead of Amelia coming back to bite her? As I've mentioned before, there's a possibility that Amelia might not be available (be it emotionally or physically) by the time Monica is ready to act on things with her.

In short, I’m saying I’m not concerned about Winston in the slightest. I don’t think the relationship is anything but a casual distraction for Monica. It’s actually a casual distraction for both of them since they’re both going through the same thing. It’s something light and fun and a break from the intensity that comes with divorce. It's a stark contrast to the seriousness and depth that would come from Monica exploring things with Amelia.

Which brings me to my next point. I ended my last blog by stating that I don’t think Amelia’s crush on Monica is just one way. I also said I’d go as far to say that Monica’s feelings are stronger than Amelia's. How do I know that? Because the very act of her pursuing Winston over Amelia tells us so. Amelia is right there. She asked Monica to go out with her, she didn’t ask her to move in, get married and have babies. If Monica wanted something casual she could have leveraged off Amelia’s offer, gone out with her for drinks and hooked up with her. Just like she did with Winston. Amelia asking her out was vague enough that it could have been perceived as hook up vibes, just as much as it could have meant something more. It could have been anything Monica wanted it to be, but the fact she was hesitant to go out with Amelia tells me that she’s already decided in her own head that it could be something serious. 

This is why I think Monica has feelings that are perhaps even deeper than Amelia’s at this point, and she’s not ready to enter that territory yet. And if she doesn’t have feelings yet, she sure knows she has potential to develop them. On the contrary the fact she’s willing to hook up with Winston shows she knows there’s no longevity in it. She doesn’t need to worry about it turning into anything serious. Oh and I know the other option could just be that Monica just isn’t into Amelia at all but come on, we’ve seen the flirting, we know she is.

This is further evidenced in 20x10 when Monica jokes with Winston about meeting her parents. The playful prank shows that Monica isn’t genuinely envisioning a future with Winston; instead, it highlights that their dynamic is casual and more about short-term fun than long-term commitment. When Winston later invites Monica for dinner or drinks, she declines, suggesting they head back to his place instead. This response reflects the purely physical nature of her relationship with Winston, prioritising convenience and fleeting intimacy over any substantial connection. While her interactions with Winston lack any real effort to invest in a deeper bond, her connection with Amelia offers the promise of something more enduring and transformative.

So I think I’ve made it clear that my opinion is that Winston is just a placeholder because Monica isn’t ready to explore anything serious yet, and I definitely don’t think he’s a U Turn like I’ve seen some others say. So I wanted to talk about why Monica might not be ready to move forward with Amelia. I hope that we get to learn more about Monica as a character as the show progresses. She seems like a pragmatic character, guarded in her approach with a need to stay calm and collected, and we know from later episodes that her head always goes to the worst case scenario. It would be interesting to see how her backstory unfolds, because it will give us more indication into her as a character and her actions, behaviours etc.

Obviously the fact she’s going through a divorce is reason enough to not want to date yet, but I hope we get to see what actually happened in the breakdown of Monica’s marriage, because it will inevitably shape how she moves forward in relationships. Did they just simply grow apart? Was Monica cheated on meaning she would find it hard to trust? At this point we don’t know and it could be anything, but I do have a theory and I’m going to throw it out there.

It’s a complete stab in the dark at this point, but my hunch is that Monica and her wife had a child who passed away, and this resulted in the breakdown in their marriage. Three key moments led me to this theory:

20x03 when Monica tells Blue to sit with the patient’s mom. She places such emphasis on supporting the family, which could just be part of her role, but I just get the sense she’s been in the family's shoes herself and that’s why it’s so important for her. In particular when she says “Whether they have a medical degree or not, mom’s know, you never bet against them.” it kind of sounds like she’s talking as a mom herself. But she’s never mentioned a kid before so this was the first time I considered maybe she has a kid who’s no longer here. 

21x05 is the main episode that reinforced my assumption on this. Before that it was just  a hunch but 21x05 really made me think wait…maybe it actually is that. In particular the scene where Monica and Amelia have lost track of the helicopter carrying one of their patients and giving the parents an update. I’ve talked at length about how Monica is usually composed, calm and collected. She doesn’t seem to let her emotions get the better of her so she can remain pragmatic for her patients and their parents. But there’s something about this interaction with her patient’s parents that makes her lose her composure. She looks visibly emotional as the parents get distressed and Amelia has to finish the conversation. Now of course she’s a human being with emotion, it’s natural she’d feel worried considering she was the one responsible for the helicopter, and it’s also natural that she would be upset to be giving bad news to the parents. But Monica is a peds surgeon who faces life and death situations with children every day, and she will have given news much worse than that 1000 times over. What is it about this case specifically that strikes a chord with her? What really solidified it for me was the look she gives the parents as they walk away. The camera really focuses on her, and it looks less like concern and more like relatability. To me, it looks like she’s having a flashback, like watching the two parents upset and comforting each other brings her back to a time where it was her and her wife doing just that, as they received their own bad news. 

Finally, in the cutest scene ever where Amelia comforts Monica (which I can’t WAIT to analyse when I get to the blog about that episode) and Monica completely loses it and talks about going to the worst case scenario in her head. It could just be the way she is, but usually it’s something traumatic happening that makes people think like this. And I can’t think of anything more traumatic than losing your child.

Like I said it’s just a stab in the dark, chances are I’m completely wrong, but I just wanted to put it out there. I can just really imagine a scene where Monica ends up blurting out something along the lines of “You don’t get it! You don’t know what it feels like to have lost a child!” only for Amelia to say “Actually, I do.” and then she’ll open up about her own loss. Obviously if this theory turned out to be true, it would inevitably be something that would bring them closer, and that they could relate to each other on. It’s a raw subject that not many people understand unless they’ve been through it themselves.

But like I said, I’m just purely speculating. Whether my theory is correct or not, it’s clear Monica’s history will play a significant role in how she approaches future relationships. But if there’s one thing I can say for certain, it’s that I’m not even slightly worried about Winston. He’s just a bad habit, a comfortable and fun choice on the path of least resistance. But when it comes to the domino effect, choosing destructive tendencies creates a cycle that prevents meaningful change. Amelia represents a domino effect in the opposite direction; a partner who could push Monica towards the personal growth she needs.

Thank you so much for reading, and a special thank you to @cryifiwant-2 who is my sounding board for all of these blogs. Before I write, I can pretty much guarantee I’ve already voiced the theory and analysis out loud to her, and she helps me consider different angles I might otherwise miss so, it feels wrong not to shout her out here.

[monmelia]

Monmelia Analysis Masterpost

Monmelia Analysis Part 1: Challenge, Timing & Soulmates (20x03)

Monmelia Analysis Part 2: Elevators, Gem Crush & Growing Closer (20x04-20x06)

Monmelia Analysis Part 3: Coffee & Compliments (20x08)

Monmelia Analysis Part 4: The Winston of it All (20x09-20x10)

Monmelia Analysis Part 5: Stepping Back to Move Forward (21x02-21x06)

Monmelia Analysis Part 6: “I’d Bet on You Every Time” (21x12-21x16)

[monmelia]

I totally agree that Monica is clearly bothered by Amelia not being bothered! I just need them to talk things out already. I hate that in these later seasons the show has cut back so much the dialogue unless it’s in service of the medical case if the week. And I can’t remember the last time they had an organic gay romance with actual chemistry and swoon worthy writing like it feels like the writers bank on physical intimacy and don’t actually out in the work to show why the characters want each other emotionally. With monmelia I like that they’re laying the groundwork but yeah I need some forward action. One or both of them needs to stop playing it cool and since Amelia’s already made her move it’s going to have to be Monica. Although I have no idea how that’s going to play out

Ugh I know! They need to! And I agree with everything you're saying about dialogue cuts etc. so it is good to see them building a good foundation for Monmelia (it's giving end game) but I do hope they start to move things along in the next couple of episodes.

I agree it's going to have to come from Monica. I could maybe see them getting closer and closer as friends as they already have been doing and us seeing Monica drop her guard even more. The increased emotional intimacy could lead to them having a moment, Monica realising her feelings more/being in a better space to act on them etc.

I also wouldn't be surprised if we saw a complete switch up in dynamic, and them having Monica having to chase Amelia because by the time she's ready, Amelia's no longer available (either emotionally or physically- I hope it's the former though. I don't really want to see her moving on with someone else because it defeats the point in her growth). But yes I definitely think Monica is going to have to make the move and it's interesting to see how that's going to play out. Whether she's going to have an easy time of it, or if her initially saying no to the date and hooking up with Winston has made Amelia's guard go back up and she's going to have to break through that.

[monmelia]

i love ur optimism because it have me hope lol. Like i saw that trailer and thought oh great they’re gonna work on another case and keep it strictly professional and not mingle or get close at all but now i have my fingers crossed that something will happen even if it’s just friendly hanging out after 🤔

I just think there’s too many intentional parallels for it to be nothing. And Monica is apparently staying next season but the only development they’re giving her is with Amelia. They keep giving them scenes for a reason whereas if it was just going to be a professional thing I think they’d be developing Monica elsewhere. The fact they’re showing Winston get closer to Jules closes that door for Winston/Monica too so I’m just convinced there’s gotta be something in it for Monmelia

[monmelia]

I just read your monmelia thoughts and completely agree. But I’m also hesitant because I don’t see Natalie Morales sticking around long term and this show doesn’t seem to have any real end in sight lol. Like if they’re setting them up to be a slow burn then all the hints (except for Winston I hate that plot and find it unnecessary and a little snakey on his part ngl) are great building blocks. The fact that Monica has come around and is seeing Amelia as fully competent and comforting is wonderful as is the fact that Amelia isn’t letting herself get caught up in the drama of it all and is behaving so maturely about all of this. I feel like her oast relationship made me really take stock. But as of now I also can’t help but think that if they don’t make things clear on Monica’s side that she’s actually into Amelia and just being careful or something then there’s going to be all this buildup for nothing to really come out of it…

Ugh I hope they keep Natalie around long term , but I see what you mean. However I'm not sure Grey's will be around much longer, and I could hopefully see Natalie being around if it's just a couple more seasons. I guess we'll see, but it definitely could be a spanner in the works.

But then I also can't see them setting Amelia up for another mid-game relationship at this stage in the show. Like if they give her another failed relationship again I'm going to lose it because I just want her to be happy, and all the slow burn and build up makes no sense if they're just going to make nothing of it.

But I do agree they need to move forward a little more than they are doing already because as much I love a slow burn, it's burning a little too slow at this point. I will say though that I think it's pretty obvious that Monica likes Amelia. Maybe it's just me looking into it too deeply but the fact she's always been invested in Amelia, she flirted with her right from the start, and then the last episode with her making it clear to Amelia twice that Winston was just casual.

I agree in a way about the Winston thing being unnecessary (and snakey) but I also think he's purely a plot device for Monmelia. Everything about Winston comes back to Monmelia, even the lingerie scene is about Amelia finding out rather than anything between Monica and Winston. I think his purpose is solely to make the audience question why Monica is hooking up with Winston, when Amelia is right there.

IMO I think we the viewers are supposed to assume that Monica only has the bandwidth for casual connections right now (i.e. Winston), which points to the fact she doesn't see Amelia as casual. Or why wouldn't she pursue Amelia? It's not like Amelia asked her to be her girlfriend, she just asked her to go out, which means Monica must have come to the conclusion in her own head that it has potential to be serious, a conclusion that she must be basing off of her own feelings.

I actually think Monica likes Amelia a lot, maybe to the point that it scares her, and it's just too serious for her right now since she's going through a divorce. It's possible she only realised this when Amelia asked her out, but as many point out, she didn't actually reject her. I don't believe that it's just Monica not being interested because of their previous interactions that led to Amelia asking her on a date in the first place, and the fact she didn't actually say no to her. Plus again the fact she went out of her way twice to tell Amelia it was just casual with Winston has to count for something.

But I do hope we see more obvious signs of them liking each other soon. Because right now we're seeing on the surface that Monica is hooking up with Winston, and Amelia is "okay" with Monica doing and "not jealous at all", but I think reading between the lines they both like each other. For Monica the timing isn't right and she's scared, and for Amelia she's already put herself out there once and she perceives Monica's response as a rejection (it wasn't girl!), so she's going to pretend like she's not bothered because she doesn't really feel like she has the right to say otherwise. But I hope they start to make it more obvious soon how they both feel. I love the will they/won't they element, and I love analysing and reading between the lines, but not for too long or I'll start to worry that I truly am just delusional.

[monmelia]

I really hope monmelia gets somewhere in the finale. Them ending on yet another friendly note would be so boring and annoying lol. Also I feel like Amelia might relapse from the stress and everything which would be a rough time to start a relationship but I still want them to try!

If they don't I s2g, they're obviously just baiting if they don't at least have something. After 21x16 though I'm pretty certain we're going to get at least something that puts them on a romantic note. Please let us get at least a kiss!

That's a valid thought about Amelia relapsing! It would be so sad to see but like I could totally get it. It would be interesting seeing them build a relationship on that foundation.

[monmelia]

I hope to be proven wrong but right now I feel like Monica are going in the direction of Carina and Amelia where it was clear that something romantic was set up and then behind the scenes they changed direction and I just wanna know what happened! What I’m thinking is that because Monica isn’t a regular they didn’t wanna commit to a relationship only to have it ended in a couple of months like with Kai, but it’s been almost 2 years now and monmelia could’ve at least had a fling in that time so it just feels like a giant waste 😞

okay but what are we saying after the trailer for the next ep bc I was on this wavelength too but now I’m ✨losing it✨ & I feel like it’s just been intentional slow burn all along which was my initial thought process before I lost hope

[monmelia]

will you be writing a blog for the latest episode? I know there wasn’t any interactions between them but I feel like there was a lot to potentially unpack lol

Honestly I'm not sure what I would write because I'm not feeling too confident about Monmelia anymore after the last ep. For the longest time I've just been convinced it's the slowest burn ever but now I'm starting to feel it's a change of direction :(

I hope I'm wrong, but the fact it was Monica's first ep back and just NOTHING to do with Amelia, no scenes re: the ex wife even seems intentional. I guess we'll see on the other eps Monica's in but, ah I just don't know. It takes a lot for me to lose my optimism but I'm just not sure anymore.

But I would love to hear your thoughts?

[chooseyouovereveryone]

Don’t mind me just self promoting my own blog 😂😅

Monmelia Analysis Part 3: Coffee & Compliments (20x08)

Okay, it’s the big one. Today I’m going to analyse 20x08, a pivotal episode for our girls, and one that marks a transition into more than just friends. Though the episode doesn’t lead to Monica and Amelia actually going on a date, Monica’s response doesn’t diminish the significance of Amelia’s invitation. This moment marks a crossroad for them, with Amelia’s willingness to ask Monica out reflecting her openness to exploring these feelings. Regardless of the outcome, it signals a shift in how she views their relationship, and plants the seed for a future that could hold more than friendship. So what is the turning point in Amelia letting her guard down enough to reconsider the angle of her relationship with Monica? This blog is going to delve into the build up of Amelia asking her on a date, and the moments I think are significant to that. 

Let’s go right back to the start of the episode and look at the first scene. Monica’s simple gesture of buying Amelia coffee is more than just a friendly act—it’s a catalyst that nudges Amelia to consider their relationship differently. Coming shortly after the Gem Crush interaction, where they shared an unexpectedly close moment, this small kindness feels like a natural progression, further deepening the bond between them.

For Amelia, who has a long history of turbulent relationships marked by emotional highs and lows, Monica’s thoughtfulness is new and disarming. Unlike the intensity Amelia is used to, this moment feels gentle, even nurturing, and her hesitant smile as she takes the coffee reflects an internal thought process. She’s intrigued and slightly off-guard, as though realising Monica’s kindness may signify something more than professional camaraderie. 

But this feeling is also something that’s new to her. With her past marked by intense, sometimes destructive relationships, Monica’s presence offers Amelia a different kind of connection—one based on small gestures, stability, and subtle intimacy. With that in mind, it’s interesting that Amelia picks up on the cue that Monica might be interested, since it’s not a way that she’s used to receiving love and/or romantic interest.

Amelia’s reaction to Winston, expressing surprise that Monica bought her coffee, further highlights the impact of this gesture. She could have dismissed it, yet instead, she shares it with someone, indicating that it meant something to her. Winston’s response—“maybe she was just being nice”—doesn’t fully satisfy Amelia, hinting that she’s starting to sense an undercurrent that might go beyond friendship. The fact that it’s Winston in this scene with her also feels significant, but more on that later.

From Monica’s perspective, buying Amelia coffee is likely a casual, thoughtful gesture, but it carries a subtle warmth. By offering to pay and even suggesting breakfast, Monica opens up a more personal connection, continuing to break down the purely professional barrier that has defined their dynamic previously. 

Her statement, “I want to,” suggests sincerity and intention, making it clear that this kindness isn’t obligatory—it’s genuine. This action reflects Monica’s comfort with Amelia and perhaps an unconscious willingness to show care, nudging their relationship into new, possibly romantic territory.

And if you’re into Chappell Roan, you’ll be familiar with the sentiment that even a small gesture like buying coffee can hold layers of meaning. It’s “never just coffee”, and in Monica and Amelia’s case, I see it as a quiet but powerful step toward something more. This seemingly mundane moment is loaded with possibility.

We then get to the next scene where Monica and Amelia are working together again on a patient. It’s another instance of moving the relationship forward from Amelia’s perspective, as Monica's praise in this scene openly establishes both her professional approval and personal affection. By telling the patient’s family that Amelia is "the best" and even that she’d choose Amelia as her own neurosurgeon, Monica sends a message of genuine respect and perhaps even admiration that goes beyond professional courtesy. We can see that she holds Amelia in high regard.

For Amelia, who is accustomed to emotionally charged relationships with unclear boundaries, Monica’s words are likely both reassuring and intriguing. This scene shows Amelia in a new light—she isn’t just a neurosurgeon to Monica, but someone Monica trusts and values. 

Monica complimenting Amelia through the patient adds an interesting layer to the scene. By highlighting Amelia’s skills to the family, Monica not only reassures them but also subtly communicates her respect for Amelia in a public, indirect way. This approach may feel even more meaningful to Amelia; hearing these compliments in front of others lends weight to Monica’s words and reinforces her sincerity.

The Gem Crush reference also plays an important role here as it blends admiration with affection. Not only does Monica see Amelia as an exceptional surgeon, she’s also someone she genuinely likes spending time with. What started as a small moment between them has now become an inside joke, signalling the comfort and familiarity growing between them. This combination of respect and lightheartedness captures the unique dynamic between them, and it’s easy to see why Amelia would read this as an invitation to explore their relationship further.

The episode continues with Monica opening up to Amelia about the challenges she encountered with treating trans patients back in Texas where she used to practise. The conversation highlights her dedication to compassionate care and her frustration with systemic barriers. By sharing this with Amelia, she reveals a powerful insight to her values, and this vulnerability serves to strengthen their bond as they relate over shared frustrations. They’re interrupted by Winston telling them that their patients (Caroline and Emmy) are missing, and it’s the second time he’s inserted himself in their scenes this episode. Coincidence? I think not. But more on that later.

Our girlies find more common ground in their compassion and shared values as the episode progresses. As Monica and Amelia are looking for Caroline and Emmy, we get to see Monica’s commitment to her patients, her empathy, and the depth of her connection with them. When she’s talking to Amelia about Emmy, we can see that she clearly see’s Emmy as more than a patient—she sees a child who needs support and stability. Monica's attention to Emmy’s loneliness and her willingness to spend evenings in her room after her shift is over reflects a deep-rooted compassion that goes above the role of a doctor.  

Amelia’s response, where she jokes that she and Monica might have been friends as kids, is a rare moment of openness. By comparing herself to Emmy and acknowledging her own challenging youth, Amelia reveals a sense of kinship with Monica, recognising shared qualities of resilience and rebelliousness. This is accompanied with playful affection from Monica as she states “probably not!”

The scene plays its part in allowing both the viewers and Amelia to understand more about Monica, as well as capturing the evolving relationship between Monica and Amelia, highlighting how they may see pieces of themselves in each other, drawn together by empathy and care for others. Remember when Richard drew comparison between them in 20x03? Here we’re starting to see evidence of that.

They strike a delicate balance between similarity and contrast. They’re alike in all the ways that matter—they share deep empathy, resilience, and dedication. These commonalities create a natural understanding and shared purpose. Yet, they differ in just the right ways: Monica’s grounded, steady presence provides a counterpoint to Amelia’s intensity and impulsivity, creating a dynamic where they gently challenge each other. Their personalities compliment rather than conflict, allowing them to bring out each other's best qualities without overpowering one another. 

When Monica and Amelia find Emmy and Caroline, and Monica is reassuring Emmy after her collapse, I can’t help but notice Amelia’s fond gaze. To me it captures another important shift in her feelings. It’s inevitable that witnessing Monica’s caring approach with Emmy and seeing how good she is with children would resonate with Amelia as a mother herself. It’s a moment that further highlights Monica’s empathy and patience—qualities Amelia would undoubtedly value in a partner. 

Though we don’t yet know Monica’s views on being a parent, it’s likely that Amelia watching Monica’s warm, natural interaction with Emmy and seeing her passion as a pediatric surgeon may give Amelia confidence that Monica likes children and could understand the central place Scout holds in her life. Amelia’s hopeful gaze suggests that she sees potential in Monica as someone who not only accepts her as a mother but might even welcome Scout into their lives too. This possibility would feel refreshing and reassuring for Amelia, especially given her past relationship with Kai, who struggled with this part of Amelia’s life.

I feel like this episode really builds their understanding of one another. There’s a strong sense of them having the same values and being able to support one another. For example when Monica is assuring Caroline that they see her, Amelia then further backs up Monica’s words, promising Caroline that everyone in the operating room will understand and respect her. This moment of teamwork reflects how Monica and Amelia compliment each other in their compassionate approach to patient care, with each bringing warmth, strength, and empathy that mirror their shared values.

For Amelia, who has struggled deeply with feeling unseen or misunderstood herself , watching Monica reassure Caroline that she is truly “seen” would be incredibly significant for her. It’s more than just a moment of comfort for the patient; it’s a gesture that reflects Monica’s ability to connect with others in a way Amelia has longed for herself. This gesture would make Amelia feel that Monica might also “see” her.

From Monica’s perspective, Amelia’s openness about her own fear of failing patients shows a kind of vulnerability that most surgeons might hesitate to reveal. Monica would likely see this as a sign of Amelia’s dedication, a trait she would respect and feels drawn to based on her own morals. Amelia’s honesty not only helps Caroline feel less alone but may also strengthen Monica’s trust in Amelia.  Together, they form a great support system for their patients, but also for each other.

Their next scene has Winston intruding for the THIRD time this episode. And I say intruding because I’m sorry, but he is (even though they approach him this time). So let’s talk about it, because I think it’s intentional. I think Winston is merely a plot device for Monica and Amelia getting together and I’ll do a whole separate blog on this but the fact is we still have to consider him as part of the storyline. I feel like his frequent presence in their scenes is foreshadowing the dynamic that’s going to play out between them. He’s literally going to third wheel them and delay them getting together, the way he third wheels some of their scenes. Him bursting into the room as the two of them are alone and interrupting their conversation (even if it is about a missing patient) is metaphorical of him interrupting and delaying their relationship. But in the third scene, Monica and Amelia are very much a united front, with Monica complimenting Amelia again and saying the success of the surgery is thanks to her (and can we just take a moment to notice how happy Amelia is when Monica says this!!!)

But not only is Monica complimenting Amelia, she’s complimenting her to Winston. So maybe all their scenes this episode are foreshadowing the general plot with them, which may be that Winston is going to interrupt and delay them getting together, but Monica’s going to choose Amelia in the end. They use Winston in this scene just to give us a Monmelia moment, just like they’re going to use him in the plot to give us something that moves them forward in getting together. Like I said, he’s a plot device. He’s never the focal point of their scenes, it’s always about them.

At the end of the scene when Monica and Amelia are talking to Caroline’s mom about the success of the surgery, we have a callback to 20x03 when another patient's mother makes the same observation. This time, however, it’s Monica who voices it, signalling a significant shift. In 20x03, the team dynamic was noticed externally; now, Monica is openly acknowledging their compatibility herself, marking the deepening of their professional partnership. Her willingness to name this connection suggests she recognizes and values it, signalling an evolving awareness of her dynamic with Amelia. And again can we take note of Amelia’s face when she says this!!!! And the way they look at each other!?!? I simply cannot.

Amelia’s smile when Monica acknowledges they’re a great team reflects the culmination of all the small moments leading up to this. Each little gesture—Monica buying her coffee, the compliments during surgery, and the mutual trust—have gradually opened Amelia’s eyes to the possibility of something more. The subtle flirtations and warmth between them have left Amelia feeling noticed, appreciated, and maybe even “seen” in ways she hasn’t been before. Her reaction when Monica praises her hands is telling (sorry but this is so gay of them also); it’s the final signal Amelia needs to express her feelings, a step she probably wouldn’t have taken without those cumulative moments.

When Amelia asks Monica out, her vulnerability is clear to see; she’s putting herself out there and she’s obviously nervous, but she’s met with an awkward silence and Monica looks shocked that Amelia asked. Amelia’s quick retreat shows her fear of misreading the signs, and it’s clear she perceives Monica’s lack of response as a rejection. But the important thing to note here is that Monica didn’t reject her.  Instead, she hesitates and explains her situation. This isn’t a straightforward “no”; it’s more of a “not yet” due to personal circumstances. This leaves room for hope and suggests that Monica could have feelings for Amelia but isn’t emotionally ready to pursue them. Her choice to explain rather than dismiss Amelia’s feelings hints at mutual interest and a foundation that could grow over time.

They never get a chance to finish the conversation because Winston annoyingly interrupts again. This further reinforces his role as a frequent obstacle in Monica and Amelia’s developing relationship. His untimely arrival right after Amelia’s vulnerable moment highlights how outside forces or “third parties” might continually interfere with their journey toward a deeper connection. In this scene, Winston unintentionally breaks the tension right as Monica is explaining her situation, disrupting what could have been a clarifying or even bonding moment between her and Amelia.

His presence here serves as a metaphor for the delays and challenges Monica and Amelia might face in getting together, hinting that Winston’s role could be one of complicating their dynamic further. It’s also telling that Monica uses Winston’s interruption as an excuse to leave, escaping the awkwardness of the situation instead of continuing the conversation about her divorce. His presence serves as a good distraction. This could foreshadow the fact Monica is going to use Winston as a distraction from more serious and vulnerable relationships (i.e. Amelia).

But all of this just highlights Monmelia’s resilience; because despite interruptions, they’ve proven able to sustain a meaningful connection so far. Winston’s intrusion might not just stall them but may even help them confront their feelings more openly as they continue to navigate the obstacles between them. 

So it’s clear from this episode that Amelia Shepherd has quite the crush on Monica Beltran. But is this just one way? I don’t think so. I’d actually go as far to say that Monica’s feelings are stronger than Amelia's. But I’ll analyse Monica’s perspective and the reasons why I think she feels deeper and why she didn’t take Amelia up on a date in my next blog post when I talk about the Winston of it all.

Until then, thanks for reading :)