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threeletterslife · 3 years ago

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04 | Legends of Darlaria

⨰ summary: You wake up amidst a war with no recollection of your past. Faced with suspicion and distrust, you struggle to assimilate into a foreign nation—otherwise known as your home. But on your enlightening journey to search for your identity, you come face to face with the General of the Army.

⨰ pairing/rating: yoongi x reader & jungkook x reader | PG-15

⨰ genre: 70% angst, 30% fluff | war!au & magic!au

⨰ warnings: profanity, minor injuries, mentions of blood

⨰ wordcount: 7.0k

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⨰ a/n: thank you so much @the-berry-named-ari for beta-reading!! <3

⨰ previous | series m.list | next

⧖⧗Circa Citrine⧗⧖

There was a vote.

“How can she be a part of our inner circle when she hasn’t connected with her element yet??”

“We have never heard of her until three months ago and we’re willing to put our heart and souls into trusting her?”

“But she’s crucial to our battle plans, is she not?”

“The Lieutenant’s right. If it weren’t for her, we’d still be losing the war. It’s thanks to her that we’ve all been able to relax a little.”

“The Darlaeans attacked from the north in the third sector battle. She was right. We won again. I say we trust her.”

And now, you have officially given up your healer duties to become a full-time officer. The vote was close—eight nos and eight yeses. The General had been the last to decide. And his decision is what keeps you on the team.

“Congratulations,” he tells you. “You’ve made it.”

You remember being so happy that you’d nearly lost your balance. The General just watches you carefully, hands behind his back and shoulders slouched. “Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!”

“There’s no reason to thank me,” he says. As if he wasn’t the person who’d voted in your favor. “But I do expect you to work harder than ever. Now that you’ve been relieved from your healing duties, you’ll be expected to plan most of our battles—if not, all.”

“Yes, sir! I’ll do my best, sir!”

The corners of his lips twitch upward. “I’ve sent the Lieutenant off to Elu along with Captain Im to study monocode. We intend on cracking the code that you’ve brought to our attention.”

Oh. Your heart sinks. Should you tell him? Sever, sever, sever… The word begins to echo in your head again. Get out! you yell at it. There’s something that has been nagging at you ever since your first officer meeting. Something that is unexplainable; something that might not even be worth saying out loud. But the General looks at you expectantly, and you suddenly feel the pressure to say something. “Sir? I… I think the code might shift soon.”

His eyebrows raise. “Oh?”

“It’s a gut feeling, really,” you say sheepishly. “I’m sure I’m wrong. But the code seems like a message. And if it is a message, I’m sure there will be more words involved.”

“But a message to whom?”

“I’m asking myself the same question, sir.”

The General lets out a deep breath. “Well, then. We can never be too vigilant. Soon, we’ll know monocode and we’ll be able to confirm the cipher. We can worry about the possibility of a code shift later. Do you need more matches?”

The last part is so sudden that you have to pause for a moment to contemplate whether you’d heard him correctly. “More matches, sir?” You look down at your boots, feeling a little shameful. You go through an embarrassing number of them every day just to keep yourself warm. It’s another problem to have enough visible light to write at night. “I’d hate to diminish the match supply…”

“Don’t be dense. Most people here light their own fires.”

Right. Sometimes, you forget that Solarians are connected to the elements. Sometimes, you forget that you were once a fire medium.

“Well, in that case, I’ve run out of matches, sir.”

“That wasn’t so hard to admit, was it?” the General says. But the way he says it almost makes it sound like he’s teasing you. The stoic look on his face says otherwise, however.

“I suppose it wasn’t.”

There’s a moment of silence while the two of you stare into each other’s eyes. For some reason, you can’t quite look away. In that time, you notice that there are slight creases above his sharp-shaped eyes, the soft lines running along the top of his eyes and halting down at the corner. The blacks of his eyes twinkle with what you discern as curiosity. And you can only hope that he’s trying to figure you out just as you’re trying to figure him out.

Then, the General clears his throat, straightening his shitty posture for a millisecond before slouching again. It interrupts the quiet staring contest and you’re forced to focus on his words. “I’ll see you later in the meeting, Officer,” he says. “Good day.”

“Good day,” you repeat as you watch him walk away.

And just like that, you find a steady rhythm to your new life. With your past obliterated, you work hard to make new memories in the present. Most of these memories are good—you working in the medical tent with Joon, meeting up with Hana when she’s free, talking with some officers who do approve of your involvement. Of course, there are still those who distrust you. Mainly, Captain Chu. But you’re sure he has his stubborn reasons. You hear from Hyojung that he’d tried to convince all the officers to vote against you. It obviously hadn’t worked. And you’re glad some of the officers regard you with warmth.

There are moments when an officer will walk up to you and strike up a pleasant conversation. You come to enjoy their company—especially Major Hyun’s. She’s a kind, older woman who, as an earth medium, is very knowledgeable about the different plants and crops growing in the Alder terrain. She shows you her garden—full of potatoes and yams—and never sends you back to your tent empty-handed. In the next few days, your stomach is full of warm, freshly baked vegetables.

You help Major Hyun plant more pumpkins for Hana’s favorite porridge. And with her special touch, the pumpkins are ready to harvest in just a few days.

“I’d love to be an earth medium someday,” you tell her, eyes twinkling as they glaze over the soft soil and verdant leaves coiling around the healthy crops.

The older woman smiles, her forehead wrinkling as she does so. “Maybe you’ll learn one day. I think you have the right temperament.”

“Really?”

“Of course, Ryu.” She pats your back before she hands you a ripe, roasted pumpkin. You realize she must have cooked it with her own fire wielding. “Share this with your friend, why don’t you?”

You take the still-warm pumpkin in your hands, already thinking of how happy Hana will be to see it. “I will. Thank you, Major.”

Hana is absolutely thrilled with the pumpkin, and she grasps your shoulders in gratitude. “Y/N! They rarely give out whole pumpkins! You are a lifesaver! You know the one food that’s almost as good as bread?”

“Pumpkin?” You take a wild guess.

“Yes! How did you know? Never mind that.” She pats your shoulder and leans back, grinning. “Look at you, in your new uniform! Red’s definitely your color, Y/N. And those two notches…” Her eyes sparkle as she gazes at the neck of your uniform. “You’re not going to make me bow in your presence now, are you?” She gasps. “Should I start calling you Officer?”

“Hana!” you laugh. “I swear, nothing’s changed. They’ve just given me new clothes, that’s all.”

“But you’re a part of the officer meetings now,” Hana sings. “How incredible is that?” She takes the pumpkin from you and twirls and twirls around with it in her hands. “Just imagine. Being in the same tent as some of the best fighters in all of Solaria! The General, the Lieutenant… Major Ki and Captain Chu! Ugh, the best duo. You should see them in battle, Y/N. Sometimes, I forget that I’m on the battlefield when I watch them fight.”

“Hana!” you gasp. “That could cost you your life!”

“Oh, no,” she says, shaking her head with a grin on her face. “But Major Ki would save me. She saves everyone. She swoops in like the spirits and obliterates anyone who tries to hurt her soldiers. Oh, to be saved by Major Ki!”

She seems so shy in the meetings, barely able to meet people’s gazes. But you refuse to burst Hana’s bubble. “They wouldn’t put her in charge of the third sector for no reason,” you say instead.

“Of course they wouldn’t! She’s an amazing leader, Y/N. And she’s soft-spoken,” Hana squeals. “But that makes her even more admirable! Kind of like the General. They can whisper, but the whole crowd will freeze just to listen to them. Anyways, have you seen her rings?”

More like have you heard her rings. They’re always clinking during the meetings; Major Ki has quite the habit of fidgeting her hands when she’s nervous or deep in thought.

“They’re pretty,” you say. “But I noticed that she changes them out every day.” On the days that the officer meetings go on for hours, you busy yourself by counting the Major’s rings. “She must have an extensive collection.”

Hana snorts. “Oh, Y/N. She changes her rings every day because she dispenses them every day.” When you cock your head in confusion, Hana continues on. “We call her the Flare Shot,” she says in a dramatic voice. “Major Ki’s lethal in battle. They say she can take out ten Darlaeans with one swipe of her hand. You know how she does this?”

You thought it was a rhetorical question, but when Hana looks at you expectantly, waiting for your answer, you realize you have to speak. So you make a weak guess. “Um… Magic?”

Hana grins. “It sure looks like magic. I’ve seen her do this, Y/N. It’s crazy. She’ll just throw out her hand and her rings will shoot out from her fingers. But they’re heated to severe temperatures, of course. They can pierce through the skin, several organs—”

“That’s terrifying!” you say. You can’t imagine being on that receiving end.

“It is,” Hana says dreamily. “I wish I could do a cool move like that. Have a name called the Flare Shot. Have I mentioned her boyfriend?”

How could you forget Captain Chu? The man who still distrusts you. You’re beginning to think that he’ll never warm up to you.

“They’re the iconic duo! Did you know they met in Ara? That’s where Major Ki’s originally from, and even then, she never liked her connection with water. So one day she severed it and never looked back. But Captain Chu’s first element was fire. A rare fire medium in such a water-loving environment. Apparently, he had a huge crush on our major ever since they were little. Isn’t it so romantic? He followed her to war! And now he’s her second-in-command!”

You cannot imagine Captain Chu devoting his life to a singular person and in the name of love. “They seem happy together,” is what you manage to say. “Captain follows all of her orders.”

“He knows to trust her,” Hana says. “We all know to trust her. She’s… Well, if anything happens to, you know, her superiors, we all know she’ll be the one to step up. We don’t like to say it out loud, but we all know it.”

“Right…”

The mood is suddenly glum.

Sensing a shift in the atmosphere, Hana quickly changes the topic. “Anyways! You have to tell me about the other officers soon. I’m a huge fan of Captain Im. She’s a young prodigy from Elu—studied twenty different subjects and wrote four books herself! So if you can even get her autograph—” She places a dramatic hand on her forehead. “I would love you forever!” She twirls around, the pumpkin wrapped tightly in her arms. “I’m going to have to leave for training, but I’ll see you later!”

In one single swoop, Hana gives you a ninety-degree bow. “My warmest regards, Officer,” she says in the most serious voice she can muster up given her enthusiasm about the pumpkin. She’s teasing you, and it makes you smile.

“I’ll see you later,” you mumble, watching Hana prance off to her designated training area, ready to be coached by her idols—Major Ki and Captain Chu. You have no idea where she’ll keep that pumpkin though. Maybe you should’ve offered to hold onto it in the meantime.

Either way, something about Hana is painstakingly familiar to you. You can’t let go of the strong shock that had washed over your body the last time she’d grasped your hands. Every time she talks to you, every time she looks your way and throws you one of her fantastic grins, you can’t help but feel a pang in your heart. She feels so familiar. Yet, at the same time, so out of reach.

You try to shake the thoughts away. You’re being desperate again. Hana’s a good friend, and if she’s like someone you knew from your past, so be it. This shouldn’t keep you awake at night. It’d be silly.

But you still can’t sleep.

The days drone on, and with your title as Officer Ryu, you’re not obligated to spend your days in the medical tent anymore—which is fine by you, but sometimes, you like to help alleviate some of Joon’s workload.

“Welcome back, Officer!”

Namjoon always greets you with open arms. And then he pats your back and gives you a fresh load of work to do.

You spend most of your mornings taking care of soldiers, washing bloody rags, replacing bandages and often glancing at the entrance of the tent. Who you’re waiting for, you’re not quite sure. But every time a soldier stumbles in—someone you’re not quite expecting—you feel yourself deflate.

“You know, you don’t have to work here anymore.”

You nearly spill the bucket of water you’d been carrying. “General!” Why and how does this man always manage to creep up behind you when you least expect it?

The General raises his eyebrows. “Yes?”

“It’s just that I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“That’s funny,” he says, drawing out each word. “Because I didn’t think you’d be here, either.”

“Well, I figured I’d make use of my time,” you say, holding up the soiled water bucket to show him proof of your hard work. “But sir, why are you here?”

He gestures at his leg as if to show you salient evidence. “I’m injured.”

He’s right. There’s a shallow gash on his upper thigh where his uniform is cut, revealing an unkind mixture of ruptured skin and scarlet blood. You wince at the vivid image.

But it’s strange. Can’t the General heal himself? You’ve heard that he’s skilled enough to become a healer; in fact, you’ve seen him working in the medical tent—respected by others not only because he’s the General of the Army but also because he’s a masterful medic.

So why is he here?”

He stares at you, black eyes flitting down to the two notches on your uniform before staring back into your eyes again. “Well? Are you going to direct me to a healer or are you insisting that you can heal me by yourself?”

“I’m just a little confused, sir. You’re a talented healer, so I thought…” you trail off, wondering if you’re sounding insolent in the General’s presence. Just because he can heal doesn’t mean he has the energy to do so—especially straight out of a battle. You realize your mistake, cheeks heating up in embarrassment.

But the General makes no indication that you’ve offended him with your audacity. Instead, he looks you straight in the eyes and says: “Well, then. I suppose this was all an excuse to speak to you.”

Speak to you? Your eyes widen. “Sir?”

“It’s nothing groundbreaking. Just a small message from Doyun.”

Oh. He went through quite an excuse to relay it. Contrary to your thoughts: “Really? Is she coming back soon?”

“She wants you to know that she thinks ill of me for sending her to Elu instead of Major Hyun or maybe even you,” the General says. “Says learning monocode is not fun, especially next to a prodigy like Captain Im. Of course, she knew that the message would have to go through me before you got it, but I suppose that didn’t really stop her from changing her words.”

You smile. Of course Doyun would do this. “Thank you for the message, sir.”

“She also wants you to water her pansies.”

“Of course.” A pause. “Is that all?”

A pause on his end. “Yes.”

You and the General stare at each other for a bit longer before he begins to step backward—with a slight limp. It looks a lot like the conversation is over. But… “Do you still want me to call for a healer?” you ask, gesturing towards his injured leg.

“I’m fine,” he calls, already halfway out of the tent. “I think I’ll live.”

He’s gone before you can protest. Another encounter with the General that deep down inside, you wish that could’ve lasted longer. Why does he always leave like that?

It’s a stupid question, you realize. Of course he’s going to leave. He’s a busy man. Why would he waste his time talking to you? And why would you waste your time thinking that he wouldn’t want to waste his time? Sometimes, you wish your mind could stop working—maybe even for a split second. Why do you overthink so much?

But it’s then when you realize you’re overthinking overthinking. And soon, you begin to overthink overthinking overthinking. Really, the treacherous cycle never ends.

As a week passes, you busy yourself with activities outside the medical tent. Like watering Doyun’s pansies, then decorating your own tent with wildflowers from around the campground (your tent now feels cozy and a lot like home) and even spending time getting to know your officers.

Captain Yoo of the third sector has water clock duty every so often—a duty that most officers and soldiers like to shy away from. But Captain Yoo is diligent and dutiful. You like to watch him use his water wielding to scrub the clock clean and check if the mechanisms are working smoothly. Most times, the two of you keep each other company in silence. Other times, he’ll initiate some small talk that begins to dwindle down after a few minutes. You like that he doesn’t have much to say.

Today, though, you feel comfortable enough to share what’s been on your mind for a while now. “Captain Yoo?” you say.

“Yes, Officer Ryu?” he asks, barely looking up from the towering water clock.

“Does Captain Chu take a long while to warm up to people?”

“No, I suppose not.”

Your heart sinks. “In that case, I think he hates me.”

At that, Captain Yoo finally looks up. He’s smiling, whisker dimples spreading across his cheeks. “Does that bother you, Officer?”

Why wouldn’t it? “Yes, it does. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him his ears are stuffed with bullshit. I definitely went too far… And if he does hate me, I want to change that.”

To your surprise, Captain Yoo begins to laugh. It’s the first time you’ve heard him laugh, and it’s a little disconcerting to know that he’s laughing at nothing particularly funny.

“Officer, you don’t always need everyone to like you,” he finally says. “You don’t need to be liked to be followed. You just have to be right,” he says. “We’re not friends. We’re officers in a war. It’d be in our benefit to work together, but we definitely don’t have to like each other—much less be friends.”

You’re stunned into silence.

What a peculiar perspective.

So all this time that you’ve been keeping him company didn’t really mean anything to him. You thought you were befriending him. He thought you were wasting your time.

Sensing a change in the atmosphere, Captain Yoo speaks again. This time, in a much light-hearted voice. Even he seems to have some decency to be considerate of feelings. “I don’t get along with Captain Chang, nor do I get along with Major Lee. I might even call them imbeciles, which I have done in the past—even to their faces! But do I think they’re a complete waste of space? No, I do not. You see, young officer, we have our preferences. All 17 officers—now 18—cannot possibly all get along. What matters is that we can look past these differences and work together in times of crisis.” The older man turns to you. “So don’t let Captain Chu’s dislike for you impede your judgments, Officer Ryu.”

What he’s saying makes sense. He might even think that he’s right. But how do you stomach the fact that someone doesn’t like you? Especially when you have to see them every so often in highly formal meetings?

“I understand,” you say quietly. It isn’t a complete lie; you may understand Captain Yoo, but you don’t necessarily agree with him.

“Good. I knew you were a bright one.”

“I just have one more question, Captain.”

“Yes?” He looks amused, revealing the whiskered indents on his cheeks.

“Do you like the General?”

Captain Yoo pauses momentarily. Then, he speaks, his eyes staring off into the coniferous forest, refusing to meet yours. “I know you’re fond of him.”

“I respect him,” you correct him.

“You respect him as well,” Captain Yoo says. “He’s shown you kindness and mercy. Of course you like him.”

“But my question, Captain.”

Captain Yoo sighs. “Truth be told, Officer, no. I don’t like the General. Nor do I like the Lieutenant. They are passive people. Our meetings are not led by two leaders. They’re led by the opinions of 18 officers, and some of these opinions are awfully invalid. We need firm leaders in Solaria, Officer Ryu. Leaders who tell us what’s right and what’s wrong—leaders who lead. A man who crouches down to listen to the opinions of a tiny speck of dust can get us into a lot of trouble. Not to mention, waste our precious time. But what can I do? I’m just a captain and he’s the General of the Army. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”

It’s then when you realize that you’re the tiny speck of dust that he’s talking about. And it dawns on you: he doesn’t like you either.

Your skin suddenly feels cold. You begin to chew on your lip.

When Captain Yoo notices that you haven’t responded to his words, he assumes the conversation is over. “Thank you for keeping me company again,” he says. “We had a nice talk, Officer. If you don’t mind now, I’ll see you in the next meeting.”

You let him leave in silence.

Doyun had told you that Captain Yoo had voted in your favor. Now, you realize it wasn’t because he liked your character or because he wanted the two of you to become friends. It was because he found you convenient. Because it’d be better to work together than to fall apart with disagreements.

We’re not friends.

Maybe he’s a lost cause.

Or maybe, maybe you can sway him. Somehow.

⧖⧗Circa Zircon⧗⧖

“How can someone be so right but so wrong?” Captain Chu’s the first to speak after the Lieutenant and Captain Im deliver the news. He glances at you, a tight sneer on his lips.

“I apologize,” Major Hyun says. “I was the one who misread the letter. I’d like to take the blame.”

You don’t know what to feel. On one hand, you’re glad, but on the other hand… “It doesn’t make sense,” you say, pointing at the battle plans spread before you and Captain Im’s meticulous monocode notes. “How can the code be ‘jewel?’”

Sever had made so much sense. Sever had spoken to you. You were so sure…

“You were wrong.”

You look up to see Captain Yoo staring straight at you. “But your theory about the code shift is correct,” he says. “Our best course of action might be to piece together these new sequences and figure out what they say.”

“They’re sadistic!” Captain Chang shouts, crossing his arms over his chest. “They’re dangling it in front of our faces. Jewel,” he scoffs. “What if this is all just a game to them?”

“Then we’ll play the game,” Major Ki says.

“That’s fucking stupid,” Captain Chang says.

“Those are grand words coming out of your mouth,” Captain Chu retaliates. He turns to his major. “How are we going to play their game?” he asks with a new sense of awe.

Major Ki hums, her rings clacking as she fidgets with her hands. “We figure out their codes. In the meantime, we’ll win all of the battles.” She looks to the General as if to ask for his permission.

But the General is frowning, staring down at the monocode notes and the battle plans, lost in his own world. There is silence as others wait for him to speak. Finally, the man sighs and he stares Major Ki right into her eyes. She fidgets before looking away. “Yes, we must play their game…” the General says slowly, but decisively. “But we cannot win all of the battles.”

“Why not?” Major Lee says. “The Darlaeans have been winning a majority of the battles up until a couple of months ago.”

“Yes, it’s time to give them a taste of their own medicine!” Major Jang declares.

“They’ll know we’re onto them,” Captain Im answers for the General. “We have to proceed as if we haven’t figured out their little game. That’s how we’ll be playing it.”

“Exactly,” the General says, nodding. He has frown lines etched onto his forehead as his eyes bore into the scrolls displayed on the table. “The code shift, however… If we must play the game, we should understand it. But I can’t wrap my head around this.” His eyes meet yours as he says this, almost as if to wordlessly ask if you have any idea what’s going on. But you don’t. You’re just as puzzled as everyone else in the tent.

“They can’t possibly go from ‘jewel’ to ‘usurp,’” Major Ahn says, thoughtfully rubbing his stubble. “‘Sever’ would have made more sense than that.”

“What could they possibly mean by ‘usurp?’” Major Hyun mutters.

“Obviously they want to take the Solarian throne,” Captain Chu says. “But I’m failing to understand what ‘jewel’ has to do with that.”

“They’ll be taking our throne using their jewels,” Captain Im says. “But that’s just a theory. I think we should wait for the other codes in order to make a more accurate assumption.”

“This still doesn’t explain why they’re doing this in the first place,” Major Ki says. “Why risk us figuring out the code? Why make a code at all?”

To send a message, you think. But to whom? And why? Why now? Why not ever before? You’re unsure of how to explain your answer so you stay silent. But you can feel someone staring at you. When you look up, the General quickly looks away.

Your palms begin to sweat. Why was he looking at you? Is he going to pull you aside and scold you for keeping silent? But so many other officers in the tent are quiet during these meetings—some, you’ve never heard them talk. It wouldn’t make sense for him to single you out. Especially when you don’t know what’s going on, either.

“Your questions will be answered with time,” the General finally speaks when no one else dares to answer. “For now, we’ll alternate winning and losing battles.” There it is again. You can feel his eyes on you.

“So you’re asking us to sacrifice our soldiers?” Major Ki says.

“You act as if you haven’t been doing that,” Major Lee says.

“I didn’t have a choice then,” Major Ki bites back. “I have a choice now. We can easily seize victory, so why would I willingly hurt my soldiers when there’s another way?”

“It’s for the better, Major,” Lieutenant Kang speaks up. She has a kind look on her face as if in an attempt to soothe her. “If the Darlaeans catch on that we’ve caught on, the result will be a thousand times worse. But if we’re smart about this, if we win the bigger battles while losing some of the minor ones, it won’t be as suspicious.”

“This is war, Suhyun.” Major Hyun places a calloused hand on Major Ki’s shoulder. “We must make the necessary sacrifices to win.”

Major Ki seems to deflate a little. At the same time, the tension that had seized her soldiers dissipates. Then, she puts her hand on top of Major Hyun’s. She nods solemnly. “I suppose it is war.” She stares at the table, eyes glued to the battle plans that you’d hand-drawn. For a split second, her gaze flits towards yours. But she looks away before you can even register that your eyes have met. “My only condition is that we don’t let devastating losses happen. No more massacres.”

“A rightful condition,” the General says. “I agree. This will be a new experience for all of us. We’re not used to tracking the Darlaean’s every move and planning our movements accordingly.” He glances at you. “But this strategy has proven to work. If we continue this for a little while longer, we’ll win.”

“We’ll claim victory!” Captain Chang shouts. “We’ll make sure of it.”

The officers all mumble in agreement. And there, that’s when you see what Captain Yoo had so blatantly missed. We’re not friends. But there, right in front of you, you see relieved soldiers, embracing each other, giving each other happy smiles and looks. You hear some of them inviting the others to a round of drinks. You see your lieutenant asking Hyojung and Jeonwoo if they’d like to play a round of cards. You see Major Ki and Captain Chu in each other’s arms. You meet the General’s eyes and though he’s not smiling, his eyes are sparkling with mirth.

Captain Yoo is wrong.

The officers must get along.

It took just a small physical gesture on Major Hyun’s part to convince a stubborn Major Ki. It took a simple gesture of compassion, of understanding.

Because when their soldiers are dying and the war is moving against their favor, then all that they have is each other.

Your eyes meet Captain Yoo’s for a split second, and in that short time frame, you make sure to give him a wide smile. You’re wrong. We wouldn’t have survived this long if we hated each other.

We’ve survived this long because we like each other. Because we’re willing to go down with each other. Because we’re willing to win with each other.

The cold weather seeps into the sector, tinging the grass with frost and tree leaves with blue ice. And though the wintry air makes your cheeks red and teeth chatter, you like standing outside to collect your thoughts. There’s something rather welcoming about the icy breeze and the minty air nipping at your nose.

Your trusty oil lamp sits in front of you, the orange blaze flickering wildly in the harsh winds. You watch the flame, feeling warm in its presence. Tugging your legs closer to your body, you rest your chin on your knees. You’re unable to look away.

It’s so tiny but it lights up the whole vicinity, emitting an amber glow that resonates within you. It’s so beautiful. And it feels so familiar.

You hate this feeling.

Why does everything feel so familiar, and yet you can’t remember anything? Your hands tighten into fists as you stare blankly at the orange flame. There was a time in your life when you could wield fire. There was a time in your life when you could create it from your very own fingertips. If only the feeling weren’t so familiar. Then you wouldn’t miss it at all.

For a second, the flame seems to taunt you. It reaches up into the dark midnight sky, snaking around the cold breeze, hungry to burn, hungry for more. It’s such a little thing. Something that you should be able to understand. Something that you should be able to wield, even given your elusive past.

Your past.

It’s like a punch to the gut. You’re from Elu, right? So what were you before you were a soldier? Or did you come from a family of soldiers and you didn’t have much of a choice when choosing your career? What was it about you from before that only allowed you to be a fire medium? Even when you might have the temperament to wield other elements?

Why do you always have so many questions and no answers?

As if to sympathize with your inner turmoil, a hard gust of air brushes against you, making your hair bellow out with the wind. The flame goes out in a curling cloud of smoke. It’s suddenly dark. And cold.

You shiver, hands shaking as you reach to find a match in the darkness. But the oil lamp flickers on again, and that familiar flame dances against the winter winds. When you look up, you see the shadow of the General himself.

He stands, looking down at you, the flame from the oil lamp illuminating the tip of his soft nose and the pupils of his sharp eyes. “Thinking?” he asks in such a husky, whispered voice that if you hadn’t paid enough attention, you would’ve thought it was just a breeze.

“General!” You scramble up to face him, your vision a little blurry from the quick change of stance. “Yes. Yes, I was just thinking. It’s… I don’t know, sir. Everything’s so new but familiar at the same time. It’s frustrating, I guess. I wonder what my life was like before I was a soldier.”

Quickly, you duck your head. Maybe it’s the cold. Or maybe it’s the intimate lighting and the rather close proximity between you and the General. Something about today makes you want to say what’s exactly on your mind. But you wonder if that was a good choice. Suppose the General doesn’t care about your inquiries? Suppose he just happened to stop by and doesn’t want to start a conversation with you?

The General clears his throat. “I actually came here to apologize,” he says quickly. He looks down at your oil lamp, unable to meet your eyes. “I wanted to apologize that I didn’t do more to make you feel welcome here, in my army. And in Solaria.”

You’re not sure what you were expecting to come out of the General’s mouth, but it definitely wasn’t this. “Oh! Oh, no. You don’t have to apologize, sir. I’m just one soldier in your vast army. You don’t have to babysit me.”

“And you don’t have to stand in my presence,” he says. “You can go back to your thinking.”

You stand your ground. “It wasn’t that I wanted to stand in your presence, sir.” You flinch. That surely came out wrong. “Well, I mean, theoretically, I’d want to stand, but since I know you’re not too fond… I mean”—you take a large, gaping breath—“I stood so I could talk to you face to face. For conversation. Not to give you the salute that you don’t want.”

The corner of his lips twitch. Why must you be so amusing? “Very well.”

Silence.

The crickets chirp idly in the background, the cold breeze rustling the General’s black hair across his forehead and poking at his eyes. You watch as he uses his air wielding to sweep his bangs away. The single movement is so majestic, so intriguing that you can’t possibly look away. In turn, the General watches you. He sees that your shoulders have hunched up from the winter cold, that you’re unknowingly shivering, your cheeks tinged pink and your lips a pale shade of blue. He should keep this short. Before his officer catches a cold.

“I’ve been thinking,” he says, trailing off to gauge your reaction.

Sure enough, you’re smiling. “Yes, after all, you do have a brain to do just that.”

He scoffs. “How very original of you.”

“Why thank you, sir.”

“But as I was saying, I was thinking that we could go to the capital sector. It could help jog your memory, and it’ll be nice to see another sector besides Alder.”

A trip to Elu? Your homesector? Your heart skips a beat. This could open so many doors, so many memories that are locked up away in your mind. But wait a minute. We? Who is we? Is he implying that just the two of you go together? Or is he offering to send Doyun or maybe even Captain Im with you? That’s probably it. He’s too busy to escort you around for a field trip. Or is he?

“That’s very kind of you to offer, sir,” you say. “But…”

“...But?”

If we doesn’t mean you and him, you’re going to make an absolute fool out of yourself in front of the General of the Solarian Army.

“But I don’t want to bother you, sir. You must be tired from battle all day. And to take time out of your busy schedule to tour me around Elu…”

“Oh, no, Officer. I insist,” the General says. There’s that mildly amused look on his face again. “You’ll need to see our land’s beauty. A soldier must know Solaria in order to fight for it.”

You smile. “That’s fair. I can’t quite argue with that, sir.”

But it’s still surprising. The General of the Army, insisting that you take a field trip with him. To teach you—a mere soldier—about Solaria. To tour you—a speck of dust—around your homesector.

“Well, isn’t that the first?”

Your head jerks up. There’s this glimmer in the General’s dark eyes as he stares at you. You’re not sure whether the glimmer is from the glow of the lamplight or his interest in your conversation. “What is that supposed to mean, sir?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“It has to mean something,” you grin. “I’m not that argumentative. I think.”

“Self-awareness is quite a pleasant virtue. Something that you can learn from me.”

If you didn’t know the General so well, you’d think he’s insulting you. But you know him well enough to know that he’s teasing.

“Humility is also a virtue, sir.”

At that, the General smiles—he really smiles. It’s the same relaxed, happy smile that you’d seen on his face when he was mildly intoxicated—gums and all. But as quickly as it had appeared on his face, as quickly as it disappears.

The General clears his throat. “Well then, I’ll wake you up at dawn tomorrow, Officer.”

You nod. “Yes, sir!”

His gaze lingers for a moment but then—all too soon—he’s turning away so that the only part you see of him is his backside. His figure casts a shadow on you, but instead of making you feel cold, it makes you feel supported. Cared for.

I wanted to apologize that I didn’t do more to make you feel welcome here.

How could anyone not like the General? Because if no one listens or even cares for the tiny specks of dust in the world, then how will anything progress? You feel supported. It’s because of the General that you’d woken up with nothing and now live with so much more than you’d had before. It’s because of the General that you’ve somehow risen up the ranks. It’s because of the General that you feel so much pride for your nation. It’s because of the General that you’re happy to be his soldier. You’ll fight for him—with him. Anything.

When the wind blows too hard and the flame from the oil lamp extinguishes with a cloud of smoke, you look up. Only to realize that the General had never left. He’s in his usual position, hands behind his back, shoulders hunched. But before you can ask if he needs anything more, he speaks, though facing away from you.

“Tomorrow, you’ll see his majesty, the Solarian King.”

Your eyes widen. “The king???” you gasp. The darkness makes you squint, and you try to make out the General’s figure. How can you, a mere officer, meet the Solarian King with the General of the Army by your side? You’re not even sure if you’re qualified to be in royalty’s presence. You didn’t even know Solaria had a king! No one ever talks about him—not even Hana, which is quite unusual. But you suppose someone has to govern the five sectors of Solaria. It was stupid of you not to realize that sooner.

“It’s nothing to worry about,” the General replies, breaking you from your frenzied thoughts. “But tomorrow, you’ll realize why Solaria is in such dire need to win the war.”

It sounds like a lot to worry about. But you don’t say it out loud. Instead, you answer in solemn silence, and the General seems fine with that. He nods to himself, his black hair rustling in the wind. Then, with a small movement of his fingers, your oil lamp flickers back on.

“Get some sleep,” he says. “The ride to Elu can be tiresome.”

“Yes, sir.” A small pause. “Thank you for making me feel welcome here.”

He lingers. Almost as if he wants to continue the conversation—like a reply is at the tip of his tongue. But then he’s walking away, steady footsteps on the iced grass. You watch him leave. But this time, you know you’ll see him again soon—tomorrow. And the thought is comforting. Holding your oil lamp, you retreat to your tent, snuggling up in your blankets.

You fall asleep with too many thoughts in your head. What does the king look like? Will he like you? Will Elu be exactly as you’d imagined it? Will it help you remember your past? What is the reason that Solaria is in such dire need to win the war?

And why… Out of thousands of soldiers in the army… Why does the General seek you?

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⨰ a/n: my math professor makes me do yoga ten minutes before every lecture and it's so embarrassing bc you can definitely hear my bones crack-a-lacking 😄 i was not made for this 😟 AND SIDE NOTE??? oc and yoongi gonna get some DRAMA in the next chapter!

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