#more backlog stuff from a little while ago

[rosietealeaves]

Some DR Zanes and Pixals. Zane's eyes are a bit unsettling, but ah well. He can be unsettling. as a treat.

[pkmn-redirect]

Chapter 2 - Page 24

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Chapter 2 has finally concluded! A whole 8 pages longer than the first!! Woo!! I have a feeling they may just get longer as we get more into the story haha. Oh well! Like last time, I'll be taking a break between chapters to rest a little, get the plot points for the next chapter more polished, and try to get a solid backlog of pages ready. Going to take about of month off- POSSIBLY a month and a half? Depends on how well prepping the chapter goes (I have doomed myself by setting it in ancient Ecruteak City and am not as familiar with classic Japanese architecture as I would like hahaha- time to find some refs and do a bunch of studies!). Either way- it will be back in mid-late November! That DOESN'T mean that the comic feed will be quiet though! Like last time, there's a between chapter Interlude page that will be going up on October 11th! And after that, I plan to post some behind the scenes development stuff on days that the comic would normally update- so if folks want to they can get a look at how I put this together. If folks are interested, I could also open up the ask box for a little while? Do a bit of Q&A for comic related things (I won't be answering anything too spoilery, but you're welcome to ask!). And since it has been asked for (and rightfully so, this thing is getting long and difficult to navigate) I've compiled a pinned masterpost to make navigation easier for folks on mobile. There's been an Index Page set up for the web version since the beginning- unfortunately it's hard to get to normally on mobile, so a lot of folks didn't have an easy way to thumb through pages, and that's no good! So- fixed! I'm also in the process of going back and putting "Prev", "Next", "Read from the Beginning", and "Latest" links on each page update. Which honestly I SHOULD have been doing from the start, but hey- live and learn I suppose? Also ALSO am going to see about getting the Neocities page for the comic that I started months ago more finished so it has its own home away from Social Media- but that's a bit lower priority at the moment haha.

But yeah! Honestly, thank you all so much for reading! The response to this silly little passion project has honestly blown me out of the water, I can't believe how many people are keeping up with it now. :'D I love love LOVE reading reactions and speculation in the comments and tags! Thank you all for sticking around so far, and I hope you continue to enjoy this self-indulgent little project as it goes!

~Ann

[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - New Age AU - Horsing Around

Hey @spotaus !! :D My totally not scheme is done! (it has been for a while lmao. but i didn't want to ADD to the amount i already send you so it was in the backlog lmao. Waiting... like a little present... or a sniper >:D)

So here we go!! A day with Dust in his early days. Bck when he wasn't quite training to be a knight and still on parole lmao.

*-----------------------------*

His arm feels empty.

Dust rubs his arms and feels the obvious lack of another one of his bracelets.

Fucking idiot.

That is what King Nightmare is.

Who the fuck trusts a prisoner with dangerous magic?! Aparently the king of Ochard.

He can't help but touch the warm sweater covering him. It is handmade by one of the seamstresses, either in town or from the castle Dust doesn't know. It is just.. it was made for him...

Dust doesn't know how the king noticed but he noticed that Dust dislikes being uncovered... And with his normal stuff ruined after the original fight and the armour he borrows on missions not being comfortable.

It is... more than he deserves...

It is soft and warm and is slightly too large for his frame. Exactly as he likes it. That together with the beanie and the trousers? he is warm and comfortable in the cooling air. THe shoes are still his own as those are sturdy.

And Dust long ago layered rubber into them to help them survive his sudden lightning strikes.

He is outside now. In the open air as he stares at the castle. Large and Dust sometimes has the feeling it moves... but the storm in him always made him feel weird stuff about totally normal things...

His hand finds the two remaining bracelets on his arms. One on each. Secure and tight.

Dust's phalanges map out the, by now, familiar texture. It is rough and large. It is ancient technology, not at all what they looked like back home.

Back home... the designs had been slink. It had been streamlined to not bother anyone when working. To not get stuck on things and to make them harder to remove. Dust looks at these bracelets. They are nothing like that... They are large and heavy, almost as if it are weights put around his hands. They weight about the same as that as well, his arms used to ache badly with all four. that together with the obvious dark grey and purple magic shining in the runes? It is very obviously that Dust is a criminal and a dangerous one at that.

It would be nice if they were actually treating him as such!!

At least Horror isn't an idiot. He is weary and keeps a close eye on him. Which is much better than Nightmare's almost blind trust?! Dust always heard the guy was paranoid... yet here Dust was. Walking around. Not locked away in a cell. with only two magic blockers on him by now.

Worse is Killer who just... treats him as if they are hanging out? It is so confusing! what is he even suposed to do?! It wan't that long ago that Killer was trying to, unsuccessfully, interogate him!

It is a strange place.

He hears an ominious rumble in the, now, much darker clouds above him and he tightens his hold on his own hand. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. Concentrating on his soul, or whatever that mess counts as, and feels the storm. It is reacting to his anxiety, like the most overactive guard dog.

It is hard to force his own soul to calm down, especially with the storm also zapping his own soul. It makes his soul feel more agitated and almost frenzied. It is difficult, to calm down, to let any emotions that had been there leave him. To just feel numb. But that is the only way to control the storm. The only way for it to calm down and to not accidentally zap someone.

The rumbling up in the air calms again and Dust glances up. Less dark but there is still a small drizzle. Great. Hopefully he doesn't ruin any gardens by drowning plants... again.

He rubs his face and his eyes find the blocker again. He wishes he was still wearing four. Sure he couldn't even feel his magic at that point and the storm had a hard time powering him. It felt like he could barely be awake. But at least then he was actually harmless! At least then he didn't have to worry that he would kill someone!

there had already been too many close calls.

Yet... when Nightmare realised what the four bracers did? How low Dust had been and how he was barely not in a coma? Ngihtmare had immediantly removed one of the blockers. Which caused his magic to spark out and zap the other. He hadn't even been fully awake yet when he found Killer glaring at him wiht a knife aimed at his neck while Nightmare had been holding on of his braces.

Dust remembers frowning at them confused before glancing at the brace and then back to the now empty spot on his arm.

"why did you remove that?"

That had been his first question because that is what had nagged him. It is dangerous. Very dangerous. They know he is dangerous! They saw the damage he did on purpose! And with the magic keeping the storms out now gone it just means that his magic will grow stronger!

Which Nightmare may want as the king is now trying to train him on controling the lightning. Dust told him already he can't but Nightmare just keeps making time for them to feel out the lightning and for Dust to practise... It has to be that Nightmare wishes for him to control the lightning so Dust can use it on missions... otherwise it would mean that... it is for Dust...

And the only people who cared about Dust had been his parents and brother. Even the mage installing the spell and making the magic directly connected to Dust hadn't cared about Dust or his health. Just that the theory he had had been right. That it was possible t use magic to power living monsters...

More rumbles in the air and Dust shakes his skull. He needs to stop thinking about it. It makes him feel like a project. As a thing. As a studycase. All things that give him anxiety which causes the storm to grow angry and... He would call it protective but Dust is pretty sure the storm can't actually feel things... and if it did it would only care about keeping Dust alive to enable itself to live on.

He needs a distraction.

He looks around and looks away from the castle. He spots the forest around the castle grounds and partly on it. Maybe a walk in the forest? just not see the castle and find soemthing to not think about what is going on now? that could work...

He walks towards the forest.

The closer he gets the more he realises it just looks like a forest. It is actually a tree garden. Carefully and skillfully maintained to make it look like a garden.

Dust studies the tree line and looks down. He can see that there is lose ground, clearly maintained to make it easy for the roots to well, take root. There are bushes alone the treeline, forming a natural looking wall to keep the trees to their area. Dust walks alongside the treeline and spots a sand rock path leading into the forest. Winding and twisting between the trees. Looking like a paht made by people often walking over it.

He crouches down and nudges some of the very small ferns and beginning patches of flowers aside. A small gravel line alongside the rocky sand path. Again, carefully maintained but looking natural. It is again all created in an image, looking exactly as these magic made gods want it to look like.

Still it is an illusion made well enough that it can work.

Dust follows the path and listens to the forest. It is much too quiet. The creatures sensing the danger that he is. Hiding in their little home sas they feel the storm brewing.

At least this forest reminds him of home a little. They would go to the nearby forest, when their parents had the currency or it and Dsut himself was strong enough for the small trip. It was a pine tree forest. there was a small lake. They would go at any time a year. Small three day trips. They would camp right by that little lake, their dad would be teach them how to catch a fish, how to prepare it over an open fire. Their mom would than later take them a bit away from the camp, teach them how to find their way back and how to look for shelter.

He didn't get to go on many trips.

The spell around his soul was meant to make him able to live. To be able to just exist. Instead he had to make sure he didn't accidentally lost control. That he didn't feel too scared or mad or hurt as the lightning would shoot from his fingers without his consent.

The one upside was that it also hurt him. It burned his joints and mana lines whenever it zapped outwards. At least he will never hurt anyone else wihtout noticing.

It is the only punishment he got for hurting his little brother...

He tries to focus on which plants he sees. Trying to remember old classes. What is edible? what is useful to make camp? Which ones signal for many insects nearby? Which ones are used to feed larger animals and you should stay away from.

It is... A good distraction.

The path through the forest isn't as long as he had hoped. It is maybe a good fifteen minute walk when the trees thin out again. He had been walking slightly downhill.

There is a small building next to the other side of this small clearing. it is made of an light wood with pink or red ish roof. There is a pen with two horses...

There are horses in this forest?

Dust stands by the tree line and frowns as he glances around. He doesn't see anyone... Why is there just a building wiht horses?

He walks a little closer. Slowly to make sure he isn't spotted. Why is this little ranch hidden away? It looks... old. Really old. The light wood is all faded, maybe it used to be darker but the constant sun also bleached it clearly. The white painted is peeled off and the roof seems to have been red before but experienced the same conditions to turn much pinker.

He hears movement and he rushes to hide behind some hay stacks.

A monster walks out of the probaly stables. They are a mannequin monster. They are wheeling a wheelbarrow out with old hay which they throw into a bigger cart with a pitchfork.

Dust just watches them work for a while. See which steps they take and what they do to try and figure out the whys. This he asumes is cleaning out the different horse... pens? After that they move towards his hiding space and Dust realises he messed up. He is right by the fresh hay!

Dust listens carefully and moves around the stack as the other grows near. At least all those classes and training is working in his favour in a bit.

There is a long silence but the other grabs the hay and leaves again. Dust makes sure the other is back inside before rushing towards the side of the stable and steal more glances.

That is where he stays for most of the afternoon. Watching the person move around the stable as they clean and order things. They fill the feeders and water troughs. After that is done they take some tools that he can't quite get a close look at as they walk towards the horses that are outside. Dust sees two at the moment.

There is nothing he can hide behind to get a closer look to see what the other is doing. He cna however...

He goes into the stable. He glances around and ignores the smell. There is a small area to the left right by the enterance. He spots another set of large boots and some large brushes and something that looks like a metal hook? There is a small brush to the side as well. A bucket on the ground with some left over grain in there. there is a small basket with carrots. There are more things but Dust has no idea what any of those things are for.

There are six pens inside. Dust slowly walks deeper into the area and glances into the first pen. It is empty and completely clean, no straw or hay or water in any of the obivous spots. Empty? Not in use? He moves to the next and sees that while there is no horse inside there is straw and hay and water. Even some grain. He moves towards the last pen on the left side and finds it much the same as the second he saw. Ready for use but empty.

He turns around and freezes. A large horse is staring at him from inside the pen across from the third on the left. Dust is frozen. Sure he has near a few horses before. The white mare hiding the enterance to a smuggle spot was always great! She even let him pet her once in trade for an apple. But this horse looks much larger than the other had been. It didn't even make any noise!

They stand for a moment. The horse huffs as they lean a little closer. Sniffing the air before huffing and shaking its mane.

Dust blinks and glances towards the enterance, there had been carrots... He silently moves over there as grabs one, then he glances back to quickly check the other pins. Nope, just one horse inside it seems. He walks back with the one carrot and holds it out to the horse "Is... this what you wanted?" his voice is just a mumble.

The horse walks over and sniffs the treat before eating it quickly.

Dust watches and studies the horse. It looks strong but he doesn't know stuff about horses... Just that they are usually used to pull carts, transport people around, or to help in the field to prepare for more farming. He wonders what these horses are for- oh wait he knows! They used these horses to get to the farms near the border where they met Horror.

That is all he ever saw of these horses... When Killer and him have missions they usually just walk or they hire faster transport if it is further.

He never really goes towards the gardens or the farm checks as Horror doens't like to have him along, which is fair he is dangerous. Maybe the horses help there more?

Something nearby moves and Dust quickly glances out of the small windows by the empty horse stall. The ranchhand is nearing the building.

Dust rushes towards one of the empty stalls on the other side and climbs through the window. He waits a moment until he hears the door move before jumping down and rushing to hide by the treeline nearby.

He glances back and pants. That was close.

Dust isn't sure if he is even allowed to be near them. Or even here for that fact. He is still a criminal and on house-arrest after all. He glances back before making his way back to the castle. Best get back befoe anyone goes looking for him.

Maybe he will go back tomorrow... He heard horses like sugar cubes... he can try to get some to give to the horse...

[thessalian]

Thess vs Taking Time Off

This? THIS IS WHY I HATE TAKING TIME OFF.

Don't get me wrong - I like the time off. Hell, I need the time off. This job wrecks me the fuck up sometimes. But ... well, at the moment at least, it's looking at wrecking me up again as of this week, because it's a clusterfuck again. It's at least partly a direct result of me going on annual leave, too, which is great.

So I came in and checked the typing queue, and we were in the mid 300s. Because of fucking course we were. We'd barely started on yesterday's, despite the girls having been going for two hours. So I did some checking. Part of it is that New Girl's away today, so maybe it'll get better when she's back tomorrow. But that doesn't explain all of it. What did help explain some of the rest was that Temp was working on stuff from the 14th. Which means that someone came in on a Saturday. And I know pretty well who's who and who does what in this office, and so she was working on placenta cut-up.

She hates working on placenta cut-up, because it's long and fiddly. Or it can be, unless you have the tidy template I came up with years ago. She should have this, because I gave it to her at the time. But it would appear not, because she was unbelievably slow. I think another part of it was sheer "I won't wannaaaaaaaaa" on her part. Because she never does want to do anything that's not a simple little thing.

Which does a lot to explain why she was dawdling through those while I had multiple Monstrosities of ten minutes and up, a whole lot of Monstrosities in the 5-10 minute range, and all the Annoyances. Yes, even with Goblin working. Because Goblin was also being ... selective.

Also the doctors dropped like 300 reports into the queue today, and that was before I left, and since they leave at around 6pm at minimum... We're into the backlog stage to insane degrees. We won't get yesterday's and today's done by close of play tomorrow, so the backlog left from that will be added to tomorrow's work when Thursday rolls around, and... Well, just and. It never fucking ends, and there's no way that lazy bunch of fuckheads is going to do the amount of pushing necessary to get ahead of it. Honestly, I'm not sure we could get ahead of it even if the other girls were pushing.

The doctors come in starting at 7am now. Don't leave until at least 6pm, often closer to 7pm. So for a total of twelve hours a day, sometimes six days a week, we have multiple doctors (more and more with all the new trainees we're getting). And there's only two dedicated typists - and I mean that in all senses of the word; Goblin and I have no other duties bar typing because we work from home, and we're the only ones that regularly take the Monstrosities without an outright fight. And we're only in for five days a week, on only slightly staggered shifts. We need another typist badly. Head Honcho and Scruffman both said something about hiring someone new, but I've seen zero evidence of that yet.

It's been one day and I'm already so tired. I'm probably going to have to do overtime, and it's starting to get quite hot in the afternoon and evenings on top of my flat's pizza oven walls (great in winter, shit in summer), and I already need another week off and I just had one.

And I also know that if I have another one (well, when I have another one because I do have to take that time for several reasons, but I don't want to think about that right now), it's all going to get worse.

I can see how obvious it is that this place would fall apart without me. I mean, I guess it was probably obvious to Scruffman at least because of how my performance reviews tend to go. I kind of want to shake him or whoever succeeds him in a couple of weeks while screaming, "I MAY HOLD THIS DEPARTMENT TOGETHER BUT IT IS KILLING ME BY INCHES AND I CANNOT KEEP THE DEPARTMENT FROM FALLING APART IF I'M DEAD OF OVERWORK!"

If anyone needs me, I'll be quietly whimpering over there someplace.

[vanilla-lip-stick]

Brainrot

So I am about ten years late to the fandom, started reading Elsanna fics about half a year ago. A few times before that, Elsanna stories appeared in my AO3 searches, but I shied away from those because of the incest aspect, I won't lie. However, I was running out of femslash stories to read, to I thought, well, I can read the unrelated stuff, it's fine.

I found those two utterly charming and adorable, and I couldn't get enough. So I eventually peeked into the pile of stories where they were sisters but not only sisters. And I still found them utterly charming and adorable, but also, at times, broken, repressed, yearning, hurting, fighting, loving. It quickly became my favourite ship (and it currently still is), and I particularly like the sister aspect because I always was a sucker for forbidden love, always liked it when writers ventured into difficult territory, asked difficult questions, gave ambiguous answers, because that's what life usually is, at least from my perspective.

After, at the time of posting this, five published stories on AO3 with about 70 k words, I'll tell you a little secret: I have never seen Frozen. Most I know about it and about Anna and Elsa I know from fics, and bits and pieces from other sources. If you read hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction about them, I guess something sticks.

Also, many of those fics have inspired ideas of my own. New entries keep popping up in my backlog, and I already have about 50 outlined in various degrees. Just to give you a taste of what's in there, have this screenshot:

Yes, those numbers on the right are page numbers. More numbers? Then have this:

Before I started to treat writing seriously some years ago, before I finally committed myself to try my best to become a professional author, I was one of those people you wondered: where do writers get all these ideas from? Now, I find myself on the other end of the spectrum. I have too many ideas. (That above is, mind you, just my Elsanna backlog. My backlog for originals is even longer. Not that size matters.) There's no way I could possibly turn every idea I have had until now into a story even if I turn 100. And sometimes, this thought is so hard to cope with because while I don't think each of these ideas is a gem, there are many of them I love in one way or another.

(Some ideas, I am really scared of, and one in particular makes me sick whenever I stumble across it because it covers a topic I, as a reader, usually give a wide berth. Not so long ago, I read a fic that had this, thought I could perhaps take it, and looking back I have so say: no, I can't, and I have to fight the images in my head when I remember certain parts of the story to stay somewhat sane.)

Anyway. I wish writing didn't take so long, and I wish I were immortal until one day I decided I have had enough. I'm sure many of you can relate. (If there even is someone out there reading these ramblings. If there is, come say hi. Or find my stories on AO3.)

[tellnotalespod]

TNT S1 E1 - Not For Long came out on 2nd May 2022, which means Tell No Tales turns two today!

(and if we're being honest, TNT being in the terrible twos explains a lot about how emotionally fraught it's been recently)

Going ahead with this show is the best decision I've ever made, and it changed my life for the better. I'm so incredibly grateful for this community for welcoming me in 💜

I got a little nostalgic and found an old voice note (from almost three years ago!) that's posted under the cut. I sent this to Michaela (one of our ghostie VAs) almost immediately after having the idea for the show. It's edited a lil to keep it down to a reasonable length, because much like Leo Quinn, I sure can Yap.

[Image ID: A whatsapp voice note sent by me, followed by another message by me that reads "oh I think I've decided the name of the main character is going to be Leo, bc hell if I'm going to do this completely self-serving project for no other reason than the enjoyment of creating it then I'm damn well gonna use the name I'd use if I ever decide to change to a more masc sounding name." The following messages sent by Michaela on 4 July 2021 are sent in quick succession, "omggggggggg yesssss" "I want to listen to thisss" "I am 100% happy to help" "I love this idea" "so much" "pls do it" /.End ID]

Note: audio quality changes around a lot because I was, I think, dyeing my hair at the time

Voice note transcript:

 I have a… an idea. And it might be really stupid and it will probably never come to anything. However, I'm really excited about it. So... hear me out (LAUGHS). My idea is, uh, I want to write a podcast about an ex-employee of a ghost hunting company, and the- the basis of the podcast is... I literally just had this like half baked thought like five minutes ago, so bear with me while I talk this through. This character works for a quite renowned institute, company, whatever, organization that hunts ghosts. Uh, they destroy the ghosts whenever they're called to it, but the main character is starting to get suspicious of the fact that some of the ghosts that they're called to don't necessarily seem violent, and some of them are completely harmless and they just want to exist and so they have been working on a recording system that can capture the voices of ghosts. And they start off as an assistant to like the head of this company, but they're already starting to feel complicit in what they're becoming kind of more and more aware is potentially a very evil operation. And it's gonna alternate between like their their notes and the recordings of interviews with ghosts that they are sent to hunt, but don't. They sit down and they get their life story instead and then either leave them be or try to help them move on peacefully or whatever. And there's gonna be a bit of a, like a, an overarching plot in that the organization that they work for is corrupt, but not in the way that they think. And I'm thinking the main character is trying to, like, capture enough evidence, basically, before they can quit this organization- t hat's, that's, that's their intention, is they want to make sure that this recording system is completely functional. They want to capture enough evidence of completely harmless ghosts. They want to have like a huge backlog of stuff to use against the head of this company, and to do that, to have access to ghosts and all of that kind of stuff, they have to continue working for it, which they hate, but that's the only way that they see themselves being able to achieve good in the long run. So, the first season is going to be them, like, trying to work on this project in secret while you get glimpses of the boss doing some, like, shady shit. And like... who's to say that I need to finish my novel this month anyway? You know?? But fuck it, this is... I'm really excited about this, so I'm gonna give it a shot.

[onlyxmcbride]

rant incoming. I need to get this off my chest so don't feel like you have to read!

last year, after a year of fighting, my GP finally agreed to refer me to be tested for ADHD. they reassured me that it'd be quick and wouldn't take long at all.

then, I received a letter about 4 months ago advising that it would take 151 weeks to be assessed because of the state of the NHS in the UK and the backlog.

I forgot about it (my memory is shocking) for a little while because it was close to some anniversaries and stuff so my mind was on those rather than that. so, now my head is a little clearer, I decided to look further into it and after a discussion with a friend on here, I decided to utilise the right to choose scheme in England where you can select a clinic/psychiatrist to perform your assessment if you're unhappy with the waiting lists etc.

I took my paperwork into my GP last week and thought nothing more of it until I got a text from the surgery on Friday asking me to book an appointment with the GP. so I did that this morning (after their website wasn't working so I called and had to wait 30 minutes for them to answer the phone and they then told me there was no appointments left. I had to get upset for them to take me seriously and offer me an appointment).

fast forward to my appointment which was over the phone. the GP told me that they'd be happy to process the referral, but if I was to be diagnosed through this private psychiatrist and would need medication, my GP wouldn't take that on.

why the fuck is this service offered then? what is the point? you'd think the NHS would be eager to offload some of their backlog onto private services and to accept all of the help they can get.

so now, I have the option of waiting 151 weeks (less now) to be assessed before I can gain access to the help that I need (if I get diagnosed) or be assessed privately and pay for private prescriptions. I'm a student with no job and the city i live in is so deprived and run down, there isn't even any opportunities for me to utilise my degree here. so what the fuck am I supposed to do?

if anyone's thinking of coming to the UK to live or whatever, just don't fucking bother. the whole country is a joke and I'm so sick of being met with issue after issue every time I try and get help or do things to help my mental health. i voted in the last election for change, and so far, NOTHING has changed. it's almost like because I'm female and it's not a physical illness, it's not taken seriously.

I'm so angry and upset and deflated about this that I could scream. I hate this country so much.

[child0feden]

i’ve seen quite a lot of pics of your room/shelves and i have to say i’m so jealous lol 😭 i’ve got some cool shit including my ferrari shrine and some classic nintendo consoles in my room but the only horror merch i have is two cds—one of scream and one of nightmare on elm street 😔 help a girl out and tell me where you got all your stuff lmaoo

୨୧ thank you so much lol! i’ve been collecting stuff for a little while now so i’m always happy to show it off ^w^

ohhh that sounds awesome though! the only major formula 1 related things i have are the old race review DVDs lol! i have one from 2007, 2005 and 2010… definitely need to build that collection up a little more…

classic nintendo consoles too? hell yeah! i’m really trying to hold off on buying anymore consoles because i’m flat out of room and i already have a huge backlog of games but i saw a coral pink 3ds being sold a couple weeks ago and almost lost the fight… i had one when i was much younger and absolutely loved it!

of courseee! i’m always happy to help, absolutely no gate keeping from me, i love helping other people spend way too much money on stuff lol! i’ll supply some websites under the cut, from what i know these ship almost everywhere or have country alternative sites <3

for game related pins, i often use insert coin because they have so many cute pins and they do super sweet game related clothing too! clothes that do not make you feel like a walking billboard for a game, their stuff is very subtle a lot of the time but easily recognisable if you know the game!

for CDs, i often just use hmv, amazon, eyesore and thrift stores! eyesore is great for metal CDs that sometimes you can’t really find anywhere else and band merchandise! thrift stores can be very hit or miss at times but they always sell CDs for super cheap and i’ve got some cool CDs from them before! i think it’s good to buy CDs from thrift stores just because the album art interests you too, i’ve purchased CDs just because of the art and ended up really loving the music itself!

for figurines and other knick knacks, i use amazon, just geek, truffle shuffle and fanattik! justgeek is amazing when it comes to the cute little ducky figures i have and honestly just a whole bunch of other stuff! truffle shuffle has so much horror related merchandise and a lot of things related to old cartoons that are adorableee

hopefully some of those can supply you with some really cool shit as they have me <3

[prophbuilds]

MGSD ZGMF-X10A Freedom Gundam - A Review

This is a kit review that’s been a long time coming. This was Technically started all the way back in the June of 2023. Not unlike the previous Master Grade – the MG Astray Blue Frame D – this was started and stopped and moved all over the place around my room. Its box taking up a fair amount of space where ever it landed. Smash cut to a few nights ago. I’m buried under art supplies and old empty boxes. And while I’m moving things around… I come across this old chestnut.

Without further ado, here’s my review of the MGSD Freedom Gundam.

If you follow me elsewhere or have seen my other posts or just look at the kits in the pic at the top of this very post, you might know that I've become a fan of the SD Cross Silhouette line of Gundam kits. When I heard about what’s effectively the Master Grade version of their SD kits, I was confused but happy. I figured the SDCS line was the "Master Grade" version of their SD kits. After seeing the gimmicks and seeing how it's more of a build up than the kits I dig, I knew I had to try for one.

I get it in May of 2023. I polish off my long standing MG Astray build. Instead of doing the Smart thing of doing a smaller and/or less involved kit from my backlog, I crack this one open and start it. I shortly pack it all back up and set it aside because my shoulder was on fire from working on it. The “Fun” of a lifetime of drawing and a good couple of decades of not properly taking care of myself is things like my arm hurting after a night’s worth of work - be it hobby stuff or Art stuff.

Months go by and so do other builds. This one just kept moving from place to place with a promise that I’d get to it "Someday".

That Someday finally came a few night’s ago. I needed the room and it needed to be finished ‘cause, apparently, the Finished Kit is Smaller than The Box it Come In.

Enough yappin! Here’s the Build!

This was a bit of an interesting build. The kit itself snaps up very well but everything was Tight. The lenses for the eyes? Awesome but Tight. The tiny opening cockpit? An incredible detail for such a small and different shaped kit… that’s Tight. The little separate feather-type bits on the backpack? You get the idea.

There were times where I had to bust out my pliers and wrap the jaws in a cloth to help force parts together in that last little millimeter to get them together without putting marks on it. Although this was a pain (and almost wished they’d have chosen to use polycaps on some of the movable parts), this isn’t a bad thing now that it’s built.

The Freedom is a plastic on plastic build. With how tight the joints are, I don’t think I'll have to worry about it coming loose any time soon. If anything, I’ll have to worry about the joints bonding over time and the thing locking up or some parts possibly flexing themselves into breakage. The backpack is nearly as heavy as the Freedom itself making it want to lean back on its wings when not supported by a stand.

That said, this little guy is every bit a Master Grade as its 1/100th scale counterparts. I Love that it had a metric ton of hidden details no one will ever see once it was built. There’s detailing on the inside of the armor pieces, there’s details on parts of the frame that you’d never seen if unless you just keep everything separate. I know folks like to talk up the reflector bits in the wings but the eyes? The detailing on the eyes is next level. You can make out the camera bits in them without the need for lighting (Which I Wish this could’ve had all the same).

The other fantastic thing that this little kit has that’s directly attributable to the Absolute Tightness of the bits is it can take and hold a pose like no one’s business. It takes a minute to find the sweet spot for balancing it but, when you do, it looks so cool doing it. That’s thanks mostly to the scale. With everything either squished or exaggerated in some way, all the details are accentuated. It uses the MG style ball jointed poseable hands. But of course, it does. It is still a Master Grade, after all.

Some of the selling points for MGs are the extra bits and details color separation that you don't see in the standard HGs with an added size. This MGSD is much the same way. There’s a ton of nice color separation and moving gimmicks. It’s also almost as tall as an HG. Kinda’ funny considering it’s Technically part of the Super Deformed lineup. A line famous for its small cute size.

Ultimately, I really enjoyed this kit. Sure it was a bit of a pain at times to build and actively hurt me (Seriously. Kids, take care of your arms and shoulders Before issues arise.) but I can’t complain about the outcome.

I Can complain about the absolute Mountain of [Forbidden Sprinkles] it leaves behind, though. I’m going to be cleaning those little plastic bit out of my gear for weeks.

[kelkilou]

Update

Hi all! So sorry for the major long silence. I haven't had anything to report, but my tumblr was actually (wrongfully) terminated months ago and it only recently got fixed! (This is a side-blog so while the blog didn't go down, I couldn't access it.) I'm still in a little bit of an art hiatus, but I think I'm finally on the start of my journey to recovering from the past few months, and this will involve me re-exploring how I feel about art again. I've been in a heavy legitimate depression, I was seeing doctors for a while. I'm currently moving from full-time artist to part-time, as I look for other work to support me while I figure all this out for myself and work on my mental health. The pressure to be full-time right now is too much for me and affecting how much I enjoy art. It has been for a long time, I think. My main focus right now is allowing myself to fall in love with my craft again, and drawing things just to make me happy and nothing else, until I get strong enough to handle more than that. I'm a bit creatively blocked too so...yeah. I will still be doing Cons though, and hope to reopen my store soon too! There's still some backlogged content (more TMNT OCxCanon no doubt) lying around my PC as well, so...idk maybe I'll post some of that in the mean time...?

Anyway, thanks for sticking around, and for the support! I hope to bring some stuff your way soon.~ <3

[kitkatisweird7]

My TV Watchlist

Over the years, I have had a ridiculously long backlog with regards to the shows I have yet to watch. As the ultra nerd who is into all kinds of random stuff, this can be hard to keep track of. So I thought I'd log a few of them here on Tumblr and perhaps I'll discuss them as I go. It's not even a fraction of the backlog but rather shows I have decided to prioritise.

1

Star Trek: The Next Generation.

I have had Star Trek on the watchlist for quite some time. I did attempt The Original Series but I wasn't overly into it as an introduction to the franchise. I suspect I'll get more into it if and when I go back. But my dad has always raved about Star Trek. While I grew up on Star Wars, dad was into Star Trek from childhood up till now. So I've always been curious about the franchise. So I figured I'd check out the series that everyone seems to adore. Watching the first episode as I type, I'm quite liking it and have enjoyed the random episodes of the show I've seen on SyFy over the last couple of years.

2

Charmed.

Strictly speaking I have already started Charmed, about a year ago. I quite liked what I saw, but didn't get chance to fully get into it. The general premise is lovely and it's just a cute little show. It did, however, get me hooked on the song Torn in the short time I spent with it. 90s fantasy stuff that teens were into is generally just a delight. Not overly optimistic about later seasons as I know drama led to a cast change, but such is the way of things.

3

Supernatural.

I should know better than to mention this show here. I'm well aware of the opinions of people on this show and the culture surrounding it, my second favourite show and another show in the early 2010s. Whatever that was all about, I'm really not interested. What I'm into is the recontextualization of old tales. Myths and legends brought into the modern day with a decent cast. Will I get that with Supernatural? Who knows. But a friend of mine was really into the show so I'm gonna trust her judgement as she is now piling through Buffy, my favourite show of all time, following a recommendation from me on the night we met. So I'm gonna guess that we've got similar enough taste that I'm going to at least find the show pleasurable enough to watch. Whether I'll like it more or less than Shadowhunters, be that the books, the film or the show, remains to be seen.

4

Stargate SG-1.

Stargate is one weird show. I didn't even KNOW it was a show when I first came across a Stargate. See, in a Star Wars Jedi Academy mod there is a map called Stargate and I had initially assumed it to be a random creation of someone added because the aesthetics kind of fit. But as it happens that is not quite the case. Turns out it was a movie turned show with multiple spin offs. It seems to be the kind of thing many sci fi nerds get into. Similarly to Star Trek, I have actually seen some of this show. I tend to leave SyFy on at night and fall asleep watching Stargate so I've seen some weird stuff. The general premise of the show is appealing, what more can I say? I'm excited to that.

5

Teen Wolf.

If I'm being honest, I don't even know why I've bothered putting this show on the list. The person who spent years recommending it to me is no longer part of my life and I don't particularly trust their perspective on anything enough to sit down and watch several series of a show. But having said that, werewolves plus teenage life sounds rather appealing. Fantasy works best when put at odds with teenage life in my opinion. It's why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my favourite show of all time. But the balance is vital and if this show doesn't have it right, then I may have some issues with it. But when I DO go into this show, I shall do so with an open mind. Regardless of where the idea to watch it originally came from all those years ago

6

Red Dwarf.

Lastly, we've got another one from my dad. He once gave me a USB with 6 episodes of the show on it which regrettably I never watched. Thankfully, I am British and it is on iPlayer. I've heard from various sources over the years how good this one is, as a Sci-Fi comedy. Really looking forward to diving into it for that reason. I may wind up doing this one in between another show once I finish watching Sherlock, which really should not have taken 8 years given the show is 4 series long. In any case, one good day with that show should knock it out and open up the secondary show slot given I'm down to the last 3 episodes. Red Dwarf will be a nice change of pace as most of the "new" stuff I watch atm is a lot more high energy given I'm running out of comedies that actually interest me.

Anyways, that's the 6 shows that I've currently got resting towards the top of the backlog. That doesn't necessarily mean things won't get queue jumped. I mean, Hunger Games jumped the queue so I could try to bond with someone so I'm not above bumping shows up for other reasons than actual interest but that's how they sit at the moment. And given Firefly was supposed to be next, around a year ago, I've pretty much proven I have absolutely no rules as to what goes where. As I have no idea if I even WILL watch Firefly any time soon. Another show I only have any perception of because of that Jedi Academy mod, given the presence of the Serenity in it. Likewise, Dollhouse found itself dropping from top priority to "meh, when I get back around to it".

[nakanotamu]

The read more is just bc I'm thinking out loud about wrestling stuff that's been on my mind/bothering me and I figure this might end up being long edit nvm it ended being about the usual depression stuff too lol

I think part of my issue as far as burnout is that I can't figure out where the line is supposed to be for work that you want to be done that no one else will do vs when you do not want to do the work any more. Like I do a lot of stats tracking for wrestling shows that I've done for a while now purely bc I had a lot of fun doing it and found it interesting. But I've sort of reached a point with it where I don't really think I'm learning anything particularly new or interesting with it but I realized it is taking a fair bit of time, so while it's hard to break the habit of doing it for every show it makes sense to drop it at this point, or at least cut back.

Then there's the stuff I actually worked on, like translations primarily and stuff like that. I'm behind back to stuff that happened in May, and I'd been thinking of it as a backlog, but just deciding to not do any of it does have an appeal. If it sucks hit da bricks. I know I have no real obligation here, but I don't know, thinking about totally dropping this stuff does hurt. On the one hand, I was genuinely very desperate to try and find some way to turn some part of this into actual paid work, to the point where I did way too much of it on top of my actual job and life and the stuff I wish I did have the option of just dropping and ended up having a pretty bad breakdown. So just not working on it at all any more is depressing, an acceptance that I failed and I'm still stuck exactly where I was a little over two years ago and nothing has changed at all. Maybe even worse bc when I started I was still working from home.

On the other hand I also feel bad leaving people who genuinely enjoyed my work out in the cold. I met some really great people thanks to it and had some really good conversations and stuff. But I also kind of hated the twitter clout because it's a lot of nice words that doesn't actually count for anything or do anything, and on top of that for every person who really seemed to get where I was coming from it felt like there were 5 more who claimed to appreciate my work who didn't get it at all. And that wears me down probably more than it should.

I'm a big believer that in any sort of work like that you shouldn't do it for an audience you may or may not even have or keep, you should do it because you want to do it and if people show up for it then that's on them. But I don't really know how to put it aside when it is still something I want to do but I don't know if I can. Even just things like reading comments on my own or watching shows feel like such an unbelievable timesink and I don't know if I have the energy or the mental health to keep it up even for myself. But I don't want to give these things up either. So I'm just. Stuck suffering in both directions.

And then on top of that there's all the feelings of disconnect and isolation that I've been struggling with for quite a while now. I mean like beyond the general ones every day like the wrestling specific ones. Reading and translating comments and press conferences and everything began as a way to feel closer, I think, to the wrestling I love so much. I think part of what fucked me up so badly when Unagi left was that it made clear how much that had not happened. Sure you can see the signs of her farewell tour in hindsight, but at the time I hadn't seen it coming in the slightest. No matter how well I understood these characters, no matter how much, even correct, insight I had into every word choice they made and every emotional beat of every story they told, I still don't know them, I'm not a part of this.

And beyond that, would I even want a part of it if I could have one? If I had some sort of magic golden opportunity to be part of the joshi scene right now, would I even want to see behind the curtain? What if I really am just a delusional himejoshi and it ruins everything I love about it? Would there even be a space for me there, what if I were just rejected? None of which matters because I still have no connection to it in the slightest, I've never even been to Japan and my current savings are supposed to be for computer upgrades so who the fuck knows when even that much might be an option.

I just. I feel so lost, and stuck. I don't know what to drop and what to keep working on but I don't know how to keep working on any of it in the first place. I can barely even make it through a single match without getting endlessly distracted these days, even when I WANT to watch it, even when I'm actively enjoying it! I want to drop everything in my entire life except for this but this also takes energy I don't have and feels like the only thing I actually can drop. This thing I love so much and have no attachment to whatsoever, that might not even want me if that was an option to begin with. I need to change something about my habits or my workflow or my life or something, anything, and I can't. I can't do any of it

[spookfished]

nov 2023 media roundup

hello again :3 welcome to the world from 2024!! im doing backlogs of media reviews lol. well i was really busy. and then i was super busy playing umineko!! looking back at this month, it seems like i didnt read a whole lot this month, but then i forgot that ruzhui is literally 300 chapters long. so.. a couple of these i read uh quite a few months ago by now so the review might be a bit stale. however i had like 80% of this written for several weeks so theres only a couple! this will be posted on my neocities at some point

books:

ruzhui by please dont laugh: f/f. after a terrible breakup, college yun an is happy to leave her life behind for some TIME TRAVEL! but while disguising herself as a man to avoid discrimination, she gets looped into a matrilocal marriage with businesswoman lin buxian?! intended as a fluffy palate cleanser after pdl's previous work a clear and muddy loss of love, i think it still kinda ended up getting mired in politics two thirds of the way in, when a lot of us were here for the moments with miss malewife yun an and her powerhouse wife? on the other hand, its hard to stretch out fluff for an entire 300 chapters without contriviances. i also really enjoyed how it managed to balance like. idk. 'returning to the simple emotions of the past' with 'holy shit guys the past actually sucked ass lmfao'. its a pretty relaxing read, so id recommend checking it out if youre into f/f!

the devil comes courting by courtney milan: f/m romance. can romance bloom while trying to create the first telegraphic encoding for chinese...? sooo cute im a huge fan of courtney milan as always. surprisingly goes into some pretty heavy topics including like. forced assimilation via child stealing?????? i thought it was well handled though the ldr stuff and the way amelia grows as a person was soo nice

the marquis who mustnt by courtney milan: f/m romance. the son of a conman returns home for one final trick. meanwhile, naomi just wants to take her medic class. the two become engaged on false premises and of course, catch feelings. once again extremely cute im very charmed. also liked the pottery details :3 i think in every fake engagement the whole 'pretending to themselves they dont have feelings' is a little ridiculous so i liked that they just like. acknowledged it at the outset. i think its honestly more compelling to be like 'yes my feelings are sincere and true however X still outweighs '. loove a guy shackled by duty

wandering souls by cecile pin: follows anh and her two siblings, refugees of the vietnam war. ok honestly i dont remember a lot about this book :( sorry but i did like it! its a really fast read and made me really sad so id recommend. (DISCLAIMER: AMERICAN) i also feel like i dont read a lot of non-american diaspora books so thats pretty interesting as well. nice prose also :]

detransition baby by torrey peters: a trans woman who yearns for motherhood, her detransitioned ex-boyfriend, and his pregnant partner struggle to find a way to live--together, or apart? ok sorry this is another review written in january so its kinda weighted more negatively. i had a LOT of thoughts about this in november but i forgot most of them. this novel is a deep look into a very specific kind of queer subculture--a subculture which is both very white and very annoying. sorry. the characters feel like a vivid, true-to-life depiction of the poeple i try to avoid at my little liberal arts college. however, it ALSO feels like the kind of really good gossip that you love to hear secondhand. also, the author shoehorns in discussions of race in ways that are really jarring and also, kinda bad? i honestly really loved the inner voices of all the characters which is why it sucked when i got to suddenly read a copy-pasted twitter thread about intersectional oppression instead. (especially coming from the mouth of a cis wasian woman..?) it feels all the more tokenistic since we immediately go back to the inner struggles of ames and reese instead. ugh. however, it sparked some really interesting conversations with me and my friends. i also got to learn more about ah i guess transfem detransition? as opposed to transmasc detransition. they are very different! um but i guess id recommend?

comics/manga:

surviving romance: action/horror webtoon?? the woman living in the body of a romance novel character is determined to get her picture-perfect happy ever after-- at all costs. everything goes according to plan until the day zombies attack the school. chaerin is forced to bond with the faceless extras of her story, and find out what is rotting at the core of *love every day*. very solid writing!! i like how the author gradually introduces characters, and how the tension ratchets up as more people to care for becomes more people that can be lost. definitely goes into some orv-lite type themes, which i appreciated. i guess my only complaint is that despite the solid execution it didnt really ~wow~ me in any way... still worth checking out though :3

run away with me girl by battan: f/f romanceish? two high school lovers meet again after midori decided that their relationship was just a childish whim. but even though midori has decided shes straight (and is married with a kid on the way!), maki still has feelings for her. dude soooo cute the art style is not personally my thing but i felt like all of the characters were really grounded and the introspective parts were really interesting. some beautifully atmospheric parts! would recommend :3 witch hat atelier kitchen (reread) by shirahama kamome: a spinoff of witch hat atelier, where the two teachers qifrey and olrugio make food together after hours! gorgeous art as always, and some cute recipes too! i reread this since an official english translation came out lol. monotone blue: short furry m/m about apathetic, aloof cat hachi, who meets aoi--a shy transfer student who happens to be the only lizard in the whole school. pretty lighthearted for the most part, but also heavily implied a sexual assault scene?? or at least the vibes?? in a way that treated it far too lightly and left a bad taste in my mouth. possibly worth reading for the art, but idk :/ definitely falls into the romance trap of having a love interest go "ill save you from these bad guys!" for like a cheap plot device and then not really going into it

movies/tv:

parasite: class-focused comedic thriller? the kim family finds a way out of choking poverty by working for the extremely affluent park family. its almost too easy--until it isnt. man everyone says parasite is so good. AND IT IS!!! i cant believe i took so long to see this movie i got to see it with some friends over thanksgiving break and it was so good :] had me stressed for my fucking life sitting at the edge of my seat. has a lot of meat to bite into analysis-wise but is also just so crushing in many ways.. the ending stuck in my head for a long time. rewatching it this january was honestly more stressful in some ways haha

revolutionary girl utena: allegory-heavy commentary on shoujo and princess narratives and the nature of heroism and-- f/f. utena is a girl who aspires to be just like the prince of her dreams. she is somehow wrapped up into an engagement with anthy himemiya, who calls herself "the rose bride." ahhhh i still havent watched the last two episodes actually. people always say "utena is a fantastic show but PLEASE mind every single trigger warning" and its true! utena tackles some really heavy subjects in a way that is delicate, understated, and vicious. i watched a bunch of these episodes late at night in the computer lab and they honestly left me breathless. has so many layers of symbolism to dig through that it can honestly be overwhelming, but also very compelling just on the surface! watch utena. also watch this amv https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THN3gYKYojs

the wonderful story of henry sugar: a netflix adaptation of one of roald dahls stories (within a story). it was cute :3 not a lot of sticking power lol but i think this is the first wes anderson production ive ever watched. very visually distinctive!

video games:

lethal company: cooperative horror game about trying to collect garbage in a dystopically capitalist world ft. proximity chat! dude this game is blowing tf up i tried playing it with neil but 1. we are huge pussies 2. its really only feasible with 3+ people

music:

TILT by nanoray: anime breakcore is one of my truly guilty pleasures. i see the anime girl on the cover and cringe a little bit HOWEVER nanoray is a really good artist. the intro is so liquid... i think the album as a whole really just sweeps you up into a groove. some of my favorite tracks are into and DOGWALK2000 THE LONELIEST TIME by carly rae jepsen: i was so mean to carly rae jepsen in middle school. im so sorry miss jepsen i was just so tired of hearing call me maybe everywhere. im now a changed man. just a really well constructed pop album 👍admittedly not as iconic to me as emotion, but joshua tree and talking to yourself are my favorites atm SAYONARA WILD HEARTS OST: ive never played sayonara wildheart, but i think its a rhythm game about girls fighting each other on motorcycles? with bisexual lighting and tarot cards? but anyways this is a synth-y lush pop album thats super fun! it feels like it tells a story (probably bc it does) and it always makes me want to listen all the way through :3 my favorites are sayonara wild heart and their clair de lune remix

anyways if you read to the end, thanks as always! its really interesting to try and condense my thoughts about something into one paragraph.. sometimes its easier than others huh! im almost done with the december one so please look forward to that 👍

[steppingstonesuniverseguide]

One More Step Out of the Pit: Chapter 9/26

Summary: It had been Tommy and Tubbo for practically forever. They clawed their way out of hell together. They discovered their superpowers together. They started working for the Superhero Guild together before even coming of age. Tommy probably owed Tubbo his life ten times over. So, when the three supervillains he'd been assigned to bring in managed to take Tubbo hostage, well, there was really only one thing to do.

He knew, of course, he was signing himself up for torture and death by offering that trade, but that was okay.

It'd have to be okay.

AO3 Link (See AO3 for Warnings.)

(This story is finished and has been posted on AO3 for a while, but I'm posting it on Tumblr so it's somewhere else too (considering the day AO3 was down a bit ago). The author notes will all be kept as well. If you are following the blog and don't want to see these posts, block the tag #backlog.)

Author Note: There are needles, drugs, and medical things in this chapter fyi. This stuff starts at “He is biting me now," and goes to "A hand fell on Phil’s shoulder."

Adrenaline once again proved itself to be one hell of a drug, because the moment Phil brought attention to Tommy’s wound, the boy went from sleepy, cuddly kitten to injured, cornered wildcat. It was simultaneously less and more worrying. Less because it had been strange and confusing behavior coming from the usual rather boastful superhero. More because that was a lot of blood in the sheets and the little fucker wasn’t letting him get close enough to see why and was possibly injuring himself more in the process.

“Tommy,” Phil said in exasperation. The boy looked like a murder victim in the white blood covered outfit, didn’t have his powers, and was locked in a room with him, but he was also fucking fast even injured and smart enough to know if Phil managed to lay a hand on him, that was the end of it. Phil took the time to mash the ‘get the fuck here’ button on his watch while trying to back Tommy into a corner. Tommy was not having any of that, however, weaving around the couple of chairs and the bed while matching every one of his steps. “Calm down, I just want to see it.”

“Fuck you!” Tommy responded. Fantastic.

“Mate…”

“I’m your prisoner, not your slave. I don’t gotta do what you say!”

“You are literally bleeding all over my floor.”

“And you. Are. A. Bitch!”

Phil understood why Will wanted to throttle this kid.

As though his thoughts had summoned him, the door to the cell beeped and then started to open. Phil put his body between Tommy and the door when he saw him notice the noise. The last thing they needed was for him to get out of the room when Phil couldn’t even catch him in it.

“What the fuck?” Will said immediately on entry, seeing the red stained twisted bedsheets half on the floor, the trails of blood all over the tile from where Tommy had been weaving back and forth across the room and the bloody handprint on the wall next to Phil’s head.

“Close the door,” Phil ordered. Will did and it clicked, autolocking behind him.

“What the fuck?” Will repeated.

“If you even think about opening your bitch mouth, I’m going to start stabbing shit. I will stab you. I will stab you in the face.”

“Does he have a knife?!” Wilbur asked, alarmed and completely confused.

“No, he doesn’t have a knife.”

“I do have a knife,” Tommy claimed. “It’s a huge knife, and if you come anywhere near me or try to use your stupid screamy powers on me, I will bring it out and use it!”

“Tommy, I just want to help you,” said Phil with a frown. He was half hidden behind a chair, his eyes bopping between the two of them. His hand had come out to steady himself with the back of the chair since he was fucking woozy with blood loss. It left an imprint of red on the fabric.

Luckily, the door beeped again, and Technoblade entered the room. Wilbur was still standing in front of the door, so Tommy didn’t have a chance to bolt. Will reached over to close the door behind him. Techno’s eyes took in the scene for a moment and then met eyes with Phil. As always, Techno immediately knew exactly what Phil needed and was prepared to provide.

He turned to Tommy. “You are going to come over here, or I am going to come get you,” he informed Tommy.

To the credit of Tommy’s survival instincts, his eyes did widen, and he paused for a long moment. And yet… “Fucking try it asshole.”

He took a stumbling step away from the chair ready to play the same game of ring around the rosy with Techno as he’d done with Phil, but Technoblade simply hopped onto the seat and then over the back of it to land in front of him in two swift movements. Tommy went to scramble away, but Techno snagged his arm. The boy came around swinging, but Techno didn’t even have to dodge because it went wide.

Techno swept him off his feet eliciting a squeak of protest somewhere between indignant and in pain. Phil winced, but it got the job done.

Techno easily carried him over to the bed despite him still trying to fight. He set him down and pinned him with one arm over the chest. Techno then looked over at Phil expectantly.

Phil blinked and then was over at the bedside a second later. Tommy was still cursing them out and fighting, but his movements were getting more sluggish by the moment.

Now that he was finally relatively still, it was clear where the blood was coming from since the entire right side of his torso was soaked. Phil reached out and carefully peeled the once white shirt away from it. There was a piece of fabric tied around his waist, covering the wound, though if it had been red before or not could not be decerned.

He was trying to figure out the best way to get that off when a hand with a pair of scissors came into view. Phil looked over to see Wilbur digging through the first aid bag already. There was one stored in the observation room next door and he must have slipped in to grab it without them noticing.

Phil took the scissors and quickly snipped through the fabric to access the wound. He recognized what it was immediately: a stab wound. It wasn’t horribly long, and Phil knew it probably looked worse than it actually was because of the blood considering Tommy was still conscious and had been putting up a fight a moment ago, but it still made him freeze.

Wilbur nudged him out of the way to get a look for himself. “He’s not going to die,” Wilbur reassured Phil after a moment, but then pressed his lips together to peer up at the pinned boy’s face. “Despite his best efforts.”

The boy hissed and seemed to remember that while his upper half was restrained, his legs still worked.

“Little fucker!” Wilbur spat as he jumped away from the foot aiming at his face. “You know, I was going to ask if you wanted to be numbed or put under, but I don’t trust you to keep still.”

“He is biting me now,” Techno notified them blankly. He used his free arm to press his forehead back into the bed.

“I’ll get the needles,” Wilbur said. He pushed Phil again, leading him to take a step back from the bed.

He could hear Tommy saying something to Techno but it turned to a garbled mess in Phil’s ears. His eyes tracked Wilbur as he sifted through the medical bag to find the needles and drugs he needed. Wilbur knew what he was doing around medical stuff far more than Phil or Techno. Learning how to prevent death had been a bit of a special interest to him for decades. He knew plenty about wounds and how to fix them. Techno moved to hold one of Tommy’s arm down and the needle went in.

Wilbur had been scared of needles when he was 7. Things had changed.

It didn’t take long for Tommy’s body to still. Except for the breathing. Still breathing. Wilbur was already back digging in the med bag as Techno stood up straight, no longer needing to keep the boy from struggling.

“Uh… Phil?” Techno asked.

Will’s eyes flashed to Phil, and he paused in his gathering of medical equipment, seeing more than most people ever could. Most of his existence was spent just observing after all. “Techno, get him out of here.”

Techno hesitated. “Don’t you need…”

“I can handle a suture on my own,” Will said. “Bastard’ll be fine. Go.”

A hand fell on Phil’s shoulder and Phil looked up. Techno was taller than him. He’d been right, drinking coffee as a child hadn’t stunted his growth at all. He didn’t quite realize his feet were going anywhere until a door snapped shut behind him.

There was silence.

“Who’d you call?” Techno asked.

“Hmmm?”

“The phone call, Phil. You went to make a phone call earlier.”

“Oh,” Phil said. “Puffy.”

“Wanted to make sure Clinanthium got back alright?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“Yeah,” Phil said. “Yeah, she’d already picked him up.” He and The Captain had been friends back in the day. They were still friends in a way. He’d offered her a place with them again at the end of the phone call and she’d refused once more, but there’d been more hesitation this time. She’d asked about the Red Glider. He guessed he’d lied to her when he’d said he was fine.

“Phil?”

“Why the fuck was he bleeding, Technoblade?”

Techno leaned against the wall and frowned at him. “If you’re asking if it happened here,” he said, “Obviously not. You could see it’d already been sewn up once before. He ripped his stitches. I had eyes on him the whole time and there wasn’t anything that could’ve made them rip, so he must have pulled it before he got here.”

“He changed clothes,” Phil said.

“I didn’t watch him,” Techno explained. “He was wearing red before so none of us saw and then he probably couldn’t bleed enough before getting here to notice. Then he was under the bed covers.”

“But why would he hide it?” Phil asked.

“It’s a weakness,” Techno said without hesitation, as though he knew. As though it made perfect sense really. “He’s probably worried it’ll be used against him.”

And Phil forgot sometimes after having fought back-to-back with him for so many years, after watching how Will could cajole him with puppy dog eyes into letting him play with his hair until he inevitably fell asleep on the delighted man’s lap, after all the times he’d fallen asleep on the couch and didn’t stir when Phil carried him to his room, after all the experiments he patiently let Will do on him with his voice, he forgot that Techno did know. He knew what it was like not to trust people to have so much as basic human decency let alone anything more.

Phil’s mind flashed back to a fifteen-year-old Technoblade who’d broken a glass and sliced his hand to shit when Phil had been away from their hideout. He’d managed to hide it for a week before Phil had finally noticed he’d been using his right hand for things he normally used the left.

It had been a battle of wills that spanned hours to get the boy to show it to him. When he finally had, he’d sat as tense as a bowstring as though he expected Phil to treat the already damaged skin roughly, to hurt him more for fun. It had been infected despite Techno having done his best to keep it clean on his own and he’d had to lance it before sewing it back up and providing antibiotics. It had been a horribly emotionally taxing experience that he had not wanted to repeat ever.

Yet here he was again.

God. Tommy had been shaky and pale and he looked like a child. And he’d leaned against Phil woozy as he’d bled out from a stab wound.

Here he was again.

“Phil,” Techno said, and Phil’s eyes snapped back to him. “Will’s got him, yeah?”

“Right,” Phil said. “Wilbur is in there and patching him up.”

“So, he’ll be fine. What can we do in the meantime for when that’s done?”

Phil thought. “He’ll need clean sheets and clothes,” he said, “maybe more blankets since he might be cold while recovering, and we’ll need cleaning supplies for the floor and furniture. He’ll need a lot of fluids and he wasn’t able to eat most of the macaroni and cheese, so maybe broth or soup?”

“Blankets, bleach, and broth,” Techno said. “Sounds doable.”

“Alliteration?” Phil asked mildly.

“It makes it easier to remember,” he claimed.

“Or the Blade’s just a poetry nerd,” he teased lightly.

Techno bumped shoulders with him. “Shut it old man. What are you? 75?”

“Something like that,” Phil said, rolling his eyes.

Wilbur was humming when they returned, which in one way was not a surprise because the boy could rarely manage to shut up with or without using his powers. But also, this was the kid he supposedly wanted to drown in a lake he was humming an achingly soft tune to. He was already long done with the stiches judging by the fact that he’d started an IV drip and cleaned up the medical supplies he’d used. Now he was just seated on one of the chairs, one leg tucked under him and humming a song that reverberated through the room like windchimes in the breeze.

“What?” he asked, cutting off the song when he noticed Techno was staring at him.

“Going soft, Will?”

“Fuck off, it’s for medical purposes.” Techno continued to look at him and he bristled. “I don’t have to like him to not want him to die.”

“Is he at risk of dying?” Techno asked. “That doesn’t look like a blood transfusion.”

“He doesn’t need a blood transfusion. He hadn’t lost enough blood to be anything other than woozy.” He did not answer the actual question, Phil noted. “I see you brought a change of bed sheets. We should probably change them.”

Will had already taken the ruined white shirt off of him and used a rag to clean off the worst of the blood on his skin before moving him to the least blood-soaked part of the bed. They went ahead and changed him into a new set of clothing, and then Phil held him while the other two changed the bedsheets.

“He’s very light,” Phil said with a frown. He knew he had superstrength, but that just meant he was more used to carrying healthy, full-grown adults than most people.

“Oh, no, here we go,” said Technoblade under his breath.

Wilbur reached over and smacked him upside the head without even looking. “You were malnourished.”

“He would put butter in my coffee.”

“I like butter in coffee,” Will said.

“If I was going to let you put coffee in your six-year-old body, you were at least going to get some nutritional benefit from it,” Phil said.

“You are both horrible people for different reasons,” Techno replied. “You can put him down now.”

Phil looked down at the boy’s sleeping face and squeezed him lightly.

“…Phil?”

Phil settled him down onto the clean sheets and reached out to carefully move a strand of hair out of his face.

“He’s not as fucking annoying when he’s asleep,” Wilbur commented, sounding royally pissed about this fact.

“Wish I could say the same about you,” Techno mumbled and got a glare in return.

“I should have drowned you in the bathtub the day Father brought you home.”

“Because I’m sure that would have worked out for you,” Techno drawled.

“…Do you want to go Blade?”

“No,” Phil said.

“I could take him, Phil,” Wilbur claimed.

“Since when?”

“You fuckers destroyed my shed last time. No.”

Author Note: Inconsistencies in the timeline? Nah, we call that plot seasoning. ;)

[shadowofroserade]

Introducing... Pokémon: Winds of Change!

What is Pokémon: Winds of Change?

Many months ago, I was invited into a discord server where a handful of people were starting to plan work on a Pokémon fangame based on the Rust Belt. Seeing as I had a backlog of Fakémon, I joined and shared some of them with the project and began to take an active part in the planning process. I gave it its name, I came up with a few mons, I wrote a bunch of story for it and, most importantly I made designs for a lot of the planned mons. However, as often happens, people left the project and others stopped working on it until I was the only one doing anything at all. However, I did make a promise that I would get this project to see the light of day in some way, and while a fangame seems so very far at this moment, I can still show off my work. Who knows? Perhaps in the future, I can bring this project back to life.

Welcome to the Rusbel region!

This region is based on the Rust Belt as the name implies. I will avoid going into too much detail over specific locations in this post as to not overload anyone reading. This map is, of course, a little archaic and unpleasant as it was supposed to be purely utilitarian, but it gives a good idea of what the region is! You might have noticed it, but Rusbel also borders Unova! We had the idea to include Unova as a post-game area, sort of like Kanto to Johto, but with a smaller scope of course.

Pokémon

Of course, you can't have a Pokémon game without Pokémon, and we had quite a few! In our sheet where we kept every concept for the region, we had a little over a 100 Pokémon planned for the region, including brand new mons, regional forms and brand new evolutions. Of course, not all of these reached the point where they received designs, but many did! And those are the ones I will be showing off. Of course, any of their designs are still somewhat rought and sketchy, but I have attempted to clean up quite a few to present to you.

To placate you for now, meet the starters of Rusbel! The Grass type Herbeaver, the Fire type Bipestle and the Water type Shylter! Which would you choose on your journey through Rusbel, trainer?

Characters

There were of course fewer characters planned than Pokémon, and fewer designed, but that doesn't mean there weren't any! I will be showcasing the handful of characters I designed for this region, their role in the region and plot and maybe more!

In the meantime, why not meet the plucky young trainers that would embark on their journey!

Want to follow the Winds of Change progress?

Simply follow the #rosesrusbel where I will be posting any updates and stuff for this project, from pokémon lines to characters to maybe even plot details! If you enjoy, and want to contribute in any way, I am open to questions and messages if you want to contact me!

Until then...

May the Winds of Change blow in your favour trainer!

[acommonrose]

Knitting Update: May 2025

Another month has passed, and I'm still doing this! Big month for finishing stuff and general knitting for me.

The FOs

First off, these are done! They're done and they're beautiful and I love them so much! (Rav link is here if you want to check them out/have a link to the pattern--it's a free pattern!) For those of you who didn't read/don't remember my update from last month, these are double knit intarsia in the round socks. They were, in fact, pretty difficult and time consuming to make but I love how they turned out, and I'm excited to wear them once the weather gets cold enough that I want very warm socks (so... not for a bit).

And predictably, since I'm me, I then followed them up with more socks. I used about half of this self-striping skein on a pair of Sock Madness socks (which I will be giving to a friend), and since I really liked this yarn, and I always want more short socks, I figured I should make myself shorties with the rest of it! I also got a gifted copy of 52 Weeks of Socks a few months ago, and I wanted to use it (and also was specifically looking for something toe-up, since that tends to work better for shorties), so I picked the 3 Leaves pattern. Was this a good idea? Absolutely not! It's a really pretty and somewhat elaborate twisted stitch pattern, and you cannot see that at all on the self-striping yarn. In retrospect, should I have used a very plain pattern (or maybe one of those chevron patterns that's meant for self-striping yarns)? Yes, but I cannot stop myself from doing overly fiddly socks, and the final socks are still pretty cute even if you can't really see the pattern.

Final project is a cowl, and yes, you're getting a vacation selfie instead of the more close-up photos I have on Ravelry because the water's pretty, and also there's not a ton going on here. I imagine other knitters must have had the experience of watching Dungeon Meshi and instantly needing to make Chilchuck's neck wrap. I've been poking at this one for a few months, because I have almost exclusively made it while playing Blood on the Clocktower, which in particular means that probably about half of it was made with my eyes closed during the night phase of the game. So I've found the only advantages to plain patterns: I can knit them with my eyes closed and they're much more apt for my blorbo Chilchuck.

I should also mention that the yarn here is baby camel wool from one of Ula + Lia's Kickstarters, which import some very nice yak/camel/cashmere from Mongolia. A friend who's studied/worked in Mongolia in the past turned me on to their Kickstarters, and I have a bit of a backlog of their yarn, but I am also always very tempted to get more when one of their Kickstarters goes live. (Their 2025 Kickstarter is going live tomorrow, and I'm going to need someone to talk me out of getting a bunch of dark red cashmere. Or talk me into it. Either works.) Anyways, this is the only time I've worked with camel yarn, but it's pretty soft and really nice to work with! I still have a skein and a half of this color (which was perfect for Chilchuck but also just generally a favorite color of mine), so if anyone has thoughts on a good project for ~150g of DK weight yarn, I'm all ears!

The WIPS

It's also a good month for WIPs, because I've cast on a vest! Is it the vest that I bought yarn for in January and discussed last month? Nope, totally different vest!

So a few weeks ago, I visited a friend who lives a little ways outside of Boston, and we went to the local yarn store in their town. I got some sock yarn (as I am wont to do), but the store also had a tweed yarn on sale, and much like Twinz^2 before me, I cannot resist spending all my money on tweed.

So anyways this is the Emery Vest! As you can see, I'm a little past the armholes. Tbh, I should have started the armhole shaping a little earlier, but it's close enough to what I want (and larger armholes are fine if I'm wearing this over a shirt, which I plan on doing) that I'm not going to redo it. Otherwise, super happy with how the cables are knitting up! The shaping up top felt a little fussy because the pattern really had it written out in a row by row way. (I've made a Joji Locatelli pattern before, and I like a lot of her designs, but either her patterns have gotten longer, or I completely forgot her writing style.) Now that I'm past the armholes, it should be pretty smooth sailing--my only concern is that I might have to make it a little cropped, since I only have 6 50g skeins, which puts me a little below the suggested yardage for my size. But so far I'm only on my 3rd skein, and I've made pretty good progress, so I'm not super worried.

The other thing I got this month is a sock with some lovely locally dyed yarn I got in the same yarn store trip. I'm using the Sacre du Printemps pattern, but so far all I have is a toe, so I'll wait until I have more to take pics. Same with the hat I mentioned last month--I've heavily modified the pattern in a way that makes the tree trunks much longer, so I haven't gotten to any interesting design elements yet (but hoping to maybe do a lot of hat progress in June?).

And I think that's all for this month other than the stats! I could use my other stuff section to yap about other knitting stuff--I've been thinking about how different my knitting experience seems to be from a large contingent of the Internet knitters, who are primarily making garments and clearly trying to knit a nontrivial part of their wardrobes. Also thinking a little bit about pattern writing styles, purely because the 52 Weeks of Socks pattern was very sparse, and the Emery vest pattern is very long/in depth. But I've talked enough, so those will wait for another day!

The Stats

Yards knit this month: 878 Yards knit YTD: 3634 Yards bought this month: 1045 Yards bought YTD: 5164 Net stash yardage: +1530

So a big month for both finishing projects and buying yarn--if I can knock out this vest quickly, that will definitely move the net yardage back down! Unless I do give in and decide to spend too much money on cashmere tomorrow, we'll see.