#more than a burning memory

[squelsh]

good morning, 2424. welcome to the world

it's weird how i treat taking my medications. at night, i take the white capsule with a green stripe. the triangle white tablet with a cut in the center. the huge colorless tablet vitamin, "for my immune system" (who am i even trying to impress with it?), water, the little blue pill i keep under my tongue. that's enough for me to take care of what's wrong with me without me needing to keep what they are in my mind. they don't have names, they don't do anything. i just treat myself to look at and sort colors like a crow trained to put the right shape of blocks in the right shape of hole.

it's not ignored to me; if someone asks, i can list off what i'm taking and how much. it is true that i take w, x, y, and z medications every day. it is true that the schwarzschild radius is a gross oversimplification of black hole formation. it is true that the sky is blue. these are just facts of reality. what do they have to do with me? the medications i take, and why i take them, aren't a part of me. they're just a part of the reality around me, which is the same identical reality surrounding you. my meds don't matter to you. it's the same reality. why should i care either if nothing between us changed? i can ignore what's wrong with me so long as i know it's real.

it's 14 minutes left of christmas here. my present was painful burning in my throat, but also my first experience with chest tenderness. it was in the house without any knives. i spent the last three days surrounded by family. i didn't have a moment to myself even when i was asleep. i guess i am too weak, but i figured if there was something sharp nearby i could stab myself and go to the hospital. bad choice in the long run, but i'd be able to have some time to myself, at least. i looked around in all of the drawers, but the furniture had only just moved in, so of course any cutlery wasn't there either. i just slumped down on the wall and cried.

two days later i got a nice flannel jacket, a cookbook, and that feynman memoir. i cried then too. it felt weird over the last 40 days seeing the family attitude around me change. "it feels like your entire life you were staggering in place, and you're only now moving forward." he doesn't know about that fourth medication i take every night. would he still think i'm moving forward anymore? but it got me some security, oh well. the meds are stored in a false-labeled box behind a false back in my locked filing cabinet.

that filing cabinet, and what's inside of it, is the only thing i think i own. my dad said that after my oldest sister moves out, he's not moving anyone else ever again. he's getting old. i phrased it like a joke, to hide the actual concern i was testing: "oh, looks like i'd better move out soon before she does so i can get moving help while i can!"

"there wouldn't even be anything to move, i couldn't help you with anything in the first place"

the cat is so so large. she's not overweight, i've found; she really is just an impressively huge and thick cat. she loves me way too hard. i'm worried for when she moves out with my sister.

i'm eating a lot more. over winter, my parents stay home more often, so it's the only condition in which there's actually food around. i really want to gain weight, and i hope i keep whatever weight i gain this season. i've learned some good skills for food preservation and calorie maximization the past year as well. hopefully the next one should be easier thanks to that.

The model 2424 Analytical Nephelometer is a special adaptation of the Hach 2100A Laboratory Turbidmeter designed to minimize the effects of color interferences in turbidity measurement.

[0vergrowngraveyard]

I feel like that since Tails was raised by Sonic, he'd downplay his own trauma out of instinct. So much that it concerns everyone but Sonic, who doesn't notice that well since it's the same attitude and wordplay he uses. Ex: "People used to try to cut off my tails all the time, just made me fast enough to keep up with Sonic haha!" Like no baby that's badddd.

i’ve always seen tails as someone who just doesn’t even want to think about his past. he doesn’t want to talk about it, he doesn’t want to acknowledge it. it’s behind him and he has a brand new life now. a better life

i think he’d only downplay it to a) get people to worry about him less and b) to get out of talking about it.

to me, that’s partially why he drowns himself in project after project. he does love tinkering, but it also keeps his mind busy (especially after the war when he’s had six whole months to do nothing but think)

idk tho that’s just me. i think maybe he made nonchalant comments when he was younger (ex: “i learned to swim when i was pushed into a river”) but as he gets older, it starts to weigh on him more and more so he’d just rather think about anything else

[moeblob]

Fulj as a mermaid. While she's the lightning deity, I think it's only fair she gets jagged points despite the goldfish-esque colors.

[fortune-maiden]

Thinking about Shao Yuanyuan and her wildcard potential and it hit me today... just how much does she know? Does she live in a time loop similar to Lu Guang or does she hop in and out of the past like Cheng Xiaoshi? Does she know that Cheng Xiaoshi also has a death node?

It suddenly occurred to me to that the Shao Yuanyuan we likely saw during the fire in Ep 4, was either a time leaping SYY from the future or at least one who had information from her future self to know to be in Bridon at this point in time and also a Shao Yuanyuan who might have just realized Cheng Xiaoshi had awakened his own powers.

Given her meeting with Cheng Xiaoshi in Ep 6 where she acts like Cheng Xiaoshi should be aware of how this all works, I suspect that it's because the version of Shao Yuanyuan from Ep 4 arranged this meeting because she encountered Cheng Xiaoshi during the fire and thus knew he would show up in Bridon and go searching for them through Wang Qing. She needed to set up that meeting so she could tell Cheng Xiaoshi face to face not to pursue her anymore (and make things more complicated).

I also think that was her second attempt at doing so - the first being to go back years earlier to tell the Qiao family not to let him go to Bridon. But the future refused to change so she found another opportunity to try again.

And based on Lu Guang's comments it sounds like she would have also failed again in the original timeline. It's not clear how her conversation with CXS went last time (if there was one) but at the very least she might not have had time to make CXS promise not to chase after her anymore, and that would have likely sealed his fate. If anything, a sudden interrupted meeting like that might have even encouraged him further.

And this is all coming from a Shao Yuanyuan from an unknown point in the future...

Anyway this is a lot of words to say where in time is Shao Yuanyuan?

And what the heck does the timeline look like from her perspective?

[vivi-the-sky-kid]

Psst

Ya wanna know my technique for getting around 17.5 candles a day without going Everywhere?

Geyser -> Brook Candle Cake and Light Farm -> Grandma -> Sunset Turtle

Then just do:

Whatever realm has the treasure candles for the day

Basic Vault (focus on the candle cakes)

Village of Dreams and Hermit Valley cakes

And then maybe the bouquets from Performance, the cake in Wind Paths, and then the cake in Starlight Desert (since the path to it is right next to the one in Wind Paths)

Super fast and doesn't take too much effort aside from getting to the timed events on time and dealing with Vault

[nenoname]

.....ok it's legit wild to see people saying that emma may is unironically their fave character

[vonclosen]

honestly whenever ppl bring up “hamas” as a counter argument to imperialism in palestine its just like. honestly? what do you, a settler colonial state, expect to happen after over 100 years of violent colonial occupation and genocide? you expect people to just lay down at your feet? to not retaliate? to not fight for the lives of their families, themselves, their people? you expect NO retaliation? you expect that there can be no blood for blood? no anger? no rage? no rational person can be expected to simply lie down and die because a colonizer told them that they’re in the way. in their own homeland. it’s stupid. it’s so stupid. it’s heartless and stupid.

[vaguely-concerned]

it really is hilarious how little objective quality has to do with how much I'll love an RPG. larian makes games that are objectively very good, but don't really resonate with me personally when I play them, for whatever reason. bioware makes games of wildly erratic levels of quality that cause my soul to vibrate at pitches heard only by dolphins and god.

[silver--scar]

You guys may all think I'm entirely new to South Park as of last year after binging the entire series for the first time in my life, but that's where you're wrong.

You see, I did watch one☝️South Park episode earlier in my life, back when I was a kid.

As a vague 4-6 year old (I can't remember), I couldn't sleep without some light or background noise, so my parents were kind enough to let me leave the TV on at night. Well, I would also sometimes stay up late to watch the adult cartoons that would air. Futurama, Robot Chicken, you name it. I was caught sometimes but it never led to anything changing. And I would also keep watching because it was entertaining.

So then, late one night, a South Park episode comes on! You wanna guess which one I got to watch late at night tucked in my bed without my parents knowing at the ripe estimated age of 5?

Anyways that was the first and only South Park episode I had ever seen until I started watching the show properly last year. That shit stuck with me forever lol (aside from the gummy bear trap and the moral orel ketchup)

[carnage-cathedral]

I think it's not at all unreasonable for us to be a little pissed off that so many people use the word "arson" in their urls or as part of their aesthetic. I mean that's maybe not a common trigger, but it's valid for us to be uncomfortable with it

[bg-sparrow]

Day 14: Memory Loss

“You dust, you cook, you clean,” he said, hand bouncing off each duty he named. His eyes sharpened. “That’s it.”

Rating: T || Genre: Angst, Whump, Humor || Words: 2400 || Summary: She’s lost her memory. Again. And still, he draws the bath, untangle the twigs from her hair, and tries not to care more than he should. But Rumplestiltskin knows he’ll always take care of Belle—whether she knows it or not.

Songs:

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Sonine Prime ... Part 3

Hi, everyone and welcome back to Sonine Prime! The part of the show when I come out and talk about Sonine (and a bit of Sontails) in Sonic Prime!

Last time we finished up the set of scenes starting with their meeting and ended with Sonic and Nine's capture by the Chaos Council. This time, we're hoping to get to move on to the next episode before moving on to the next part😂

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<< Part 2 | Part 4 >>

(Essay/thoughts/analysis under the cut)

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Starting out with an honerable mention of a moment!

"Nine! Is that you?"

Nine: You're just wasting your breath.

Sonic: Omg Nine👀😊

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And then, just before Sonic is put through a series of grueling diagnostic tests, Nine is used as collateral to get him to comply.

"Do not fight them. It will only end badly. For him."

"Nine!"

"Okay, let's start the test. The sooner we do this, the sooner Nine and I can get out of here."

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Another small thing:

The way Nine tenses up furing the first test, as Sonic risks being shot by both laser guns (another tick in the "Nine cares a surprising amount about someone he just met" box)

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Hmmm, and the little things just keep coming, don't they?

Sonic loses his footing in the giant hamster ball filled with spike balls.

"Sonic!"

Which of course, makes Sonic palpably annoyed

Hmmm almost reminds you of when Eggman insulted Tails, doesn't it?

"You wanna test me, Eggheads? Question. How do you tick off a hedgehog? ANSWER. Mess with his friends!"

Hehe. Interesting.

"No one messes with my best friend!"

vs

"How do you tick off a hedgehog? ANSWER. Mess with his friends!"

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Sonic begins to "hallucinate" as he says, and we're treated to another flashback

Amy: I guess he didn't hear the stick together part.🙄

Knuckles: Does he ever?

Tails: No. But he also hasn't let us down when it really counts! You know Sonic. He'll catch up at some point.😊

No comment about how everyone else is at least mildly annoyed at Sonic and Tails stands up for him in a way that redirects their attention from what Sonic did/is doing to the fact that he'll be there when they need him.

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Good bye Season 1 Episode 1 of Sonic Prime, hello Episode 2!

"It's not about the zigs or the zags... It's about the friends we made along the way."

Sonic looks at Nine, has a flashback/vision of seeing Tails and Shadow before the shattering. Then, he looks at Nine both after being confused and still a bit out of it

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Okay, so aside from that funny little moment (Sonic's face), there are some little things to piece together from Nine's end after the council brings out the energy extractor.

First, unlike Sonic's repeated winking afterwards, Nine winks at him smoothly. He doesn't change expression as he does so, and it happens in a singular smooth motion. This makes sense as to why the message Sonic received from the wink was a sort of "I have a plan". While we can't know exactly what he meant, what is clear was that the wink at Sonic was deliberate.

Second, the way he plays off the earlier wink. I think it's pertinent to mention that he's at the end of two Eggforcer's weapons, and Sonic hasn't exactly been subtle this whole time with the winking. His fairly loud whisper to Nine about a plan isn't exactly subtle either (and Nine isn’t exactly the confessing to caring about someone type), so it makes sense if he plays the earlier wink off as having dust in his eye. There is a real contrast begin the smooth wink before and the way he rubs his eye when he says he just has dust in it. That also being said, they did just meet still, so even if Nine cares about Sonic a surprising amount, I think it can be true that his earlier wink was him trying to tell Sonic that he's thinking of a way out of this just as much as it's true that Nine might prioritize making sure he'll live at least if Sonic's not going to survive the extractor. And since this is all about talking about ways certain bits in this series can be interpreted, anyone want to talk about how "I just had dust in my eye" is commonly used by characters who are pretending they're not tearing up due to the display in front of them? Nine has been watching this display of a hedgehog's last words with...an interesting expression on his face, I'll say. Is he...confused? Just thrown off by how Sonic’s acting here? Dumbfounded? Who knows. All we know is that the camera cuts to Nine quite a bit to show us his changes of expression as Sonic speaks, and that after Sonic looks at him for a prolongued amount of time (after asking if he has a plan), his expression instantly changes. This is to say, even though he clearly wasn't tearing up/betraying sadness in that moment, what if Sonic looking at him then, asking if he had a plan, sort of made him feel laid bare? What if he was afraid for a moment that his expressions betrayed his thoughts and feelings on the inside? I mean, imagine meeting someone for the first time and caring about another person for the first time in years. Imagine you've been lonely and isolating yourself for years of your life, and this hedgehog you've barely met uses his last words to call you one of his friends. Imagine he's begging on what could be his death bed for a plan, and you haven't worked anything out yet (even though earlier you'd winked to make him feel better, feel like there will be a plan). He could die, you don't know what to do, you're still not sure why you care, why this makes you sad. You just met him didn't you? He looks at you for a while, asking for a plan, and for a moment, as you're afraid something will happen to you as he mentions plans to free him, you're also coming to terms with the thought that this hedgehog *could* die. Playing it off as just dust in the eye doesn't just save you from another nasty shock, but it protects you from feeling like the hedgehog is staring right into your soul, seeing your conflicting feelings.

Third, after Sonic says "looks like this is game over" and seems to accept there's no way out, the extractor closing in, the camera cuts away to Nine again, zooming in on his face. There's a subtle shift in Nine's face right then and he looks...almost sad, or like he finds it hard to believe that this is real. Then, when it cuts away from Sonic again, after he says goodbye, Nine's eyes are wide.

Actually, on Nine's expressions during what he and Sonic both believe to be Sonic's last moments, I may have hit the picture limit, but I can at least embed a clip here so you all can watch Nine's expressions.

All I'm saying is that if Nine wasn't having feelings about all this in some form, the creators would not have chosen to keep cutting away to Nine's expression, bidding the audience to see and wonder how he feels about all of this. And I think the fact that Nine is reacting at least a little, not looking bored or uncaring or as if he's trying to get this over with, tells us a lot about Nine and what the creators wanted the audience to focus on.

More evidence to the "Nine cares a surprising amount for a hedgehog he just met and doesn't only care about him out of curiosity/what sonic can do for him" box

Not to mention that just after this, when Nine gets his chance to slip away, he frees Sonic right after freeing himself. This is one of these scenes that *is* arguable, as there's really no point in him leaving Sonic there to die. But, we know that Nine has the capability to go on the offensive (not just because of the entire fight scene from episode 1, but also from the fact that he destroys/dismantles an eggforcer at the computer without even needing to turn around) and Rebel and Renegade are there. So it personally tells me a lot that Nine didn't leave Sonic there to fend for himself (especially since he'll later weigh his options and choose to leave Rebel, Renegade, and Rusty to the council over the chance of saving them and losing the red shard).

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Wooo! Season 1 Episode 3, everybody, let's go!

Now, this episode starts with a pre shattering flashback. Just like in episode 2, Sonic's friends talk about how annoyed/frustrated they are that Sonic isn't yet fighting with them. After everyone says their piece, Tails again stands up for Sonic, telling them that Sonic will arrive at some point and that he knows he will.

(We'll come back to these flashback bits with Tails standing up for Sonic while others don't trust/believe in him or are annoyed at him later)

And back to the present, Nine just manages to take control of Rusty Rose in time to save Sonic.

Now, as there are a couple things I'd like to bring to everyone's attention with the aid of screenshots, until part 4, everyone!

Next time we'll hopefully get to tackle the rest of episode 3, and there should be smooth sailing til the last few episodes of the season after that.

[rotting-inkblot]

i dont WANNA have to look up daterape drugs, or even drugs that are dissolvable in alcohol............................. but stalker!barry slipping a lil somethinsomethin in rafe's drink to make him more pliable and reliant on him

[balkanballad]

had a day that made me think oh that was a bit heavy on the symbolism, wasn't it

[light-wrath-paradise]

Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call is super vague and as such it can be anything you want, which is why it's nothing, but if it's anything I gotta say it's definitely a BDEF Will song.

Perhaps even a BDEF Mike song.

Could be BDEF Charlie if you squint.

[anarkhebringer]

Y'know it really is in Caithe fashion to apologize for nearly ending the world because of her paranoia right as an ambush happens