#mr. janitor

[mar-i-guess]

Season Two approaching... Not rapidly, but it's gonna happen.

I love improvisation. This is the worst show ever on purpose, and I'm so happy to be a part of it and host it on my channel.

[tarphi]

Alan Wake… All At Once

Was originally going to do this for Night Springs specifically but didn’t have enough characters so BAM

Happy New Year and here’s to another strong Remedy year

[sirtotallynotatimetraveler]

Merry Easter Everyone!

A little late (as usual), but I hope you had a good egg day! 🥚🍕

[miguel-owhora]

Cult AU but König's always been devoted to you, even at a young age.

Whereas the rest of the children would be picking at the dirt looking for worms or playing with a ball, König would find himself in the library, reading over the Script—the holy book of the cult, like their cursed version of the Bible—and memorizing every word. He looked up to you, their Lord and Savior, the holiest of deities, picking their little community as your main followers.

He wants to become close to you, wants to become your most devoted follower. Instead of choosing to become a hunter or a nurse or a farmer or a cook or a seamstress or a librarian or whatever other role there is, instead of choosing to become a guard, which should've been the most obvious choice for someone like him—already such a big kid, with the potential to become an even bigger and stronger guard—he chooses to become a Disciple, the closest connection they have to you, the ones who work with the Priest to keep the community in line and their devotion strong.

This leads to König becoming an outcast in the community, getting teased and bullied, shunned by his own family who find it embarrassing for someone as big as him to be a disciple. Which is usually an honor, but not when everyone was expecting you to be a guard. But König doesn't care if he's shunned and an outcast, not when he loves devoting all his teenhood and adulthood worshipping you, spending every second that isn't spent on rereading the Script or eating or using the restroom, to worship you. On his hands and knees, kneeling at the Holy Statue within the temple, slipping between German and English in his prayers, hoping for your attention.

It's this hope that becomes a reality when you appear before him, replacing the Holy Statue with your Holy appearance. You're as gorgeous as the Script describes you, perhaps even more, and König nearly passes out from how stunned he is.

You tell him you've been watching over his community for a while, but that he stood out amongst the rest. That you've never experienced such devotion before, and can't help but wonder how far he'll go.

There's no hesitation when König tells you there's no limitation to his devotion. He'll do whatever you want, no matter how cruel or weird it is; he wants to please you, he wants to make you happy.

Which is how König ends up between your thighs, sucking on your dick, and shit, it's fucking huge. You're already bigger than he is, being a God and all, even in your human form. So your cock is bigger than his literal thigh, than his forearm. He struggles to take it into his mouth, but makes it up by literally worshipping it. Kissing your cockhead, along the length, licking it, sucking on your firm balls—it's dirty and nasty, and it goes against everything a disciple isn't supposed to do, but fuck, if his Holiness commands him to do it, König's not one to turn it down.

Eventually, you have König bent over on his arms and knees, ass in the air. His own cock dangles between his legs, dripping at the tip. You stretch him open with your fingers, and it has him squirming and crying out, the first time he's ever done something like this. Eventually, you push your cock in, and König probably passes out, just to come back to consciousness to feel you fucking him.

König's literally crazy so he'd be babbling for more and half-slurred words you can't comprehend. He'd cum so many times before you even give him your first load, and it's only through your powers that you keep him awake and going, up until you cum inside of him. He'd be thanking you through a flushed and teary eyed face, strands of his auburn hair falling in front of his face.

You pull out, uncaring of how your cum streams after his puffy and stretched him. You aren't kind, you aren't nice, not by nature, but you hold off from being cruel and will him back into his original appearance, without the hand bruises on his skin or the cuts making him bleed, less flushed than before. König's disappointed he won't have any gifts from your interaction, hoping to have the cuts scar over, but you soothe him by telling him you'll ask for him soon again.

Despite you cleaning him over, König leaves the temple on trembling legs, with a limp. He avoids everyone's concern and comments, and probably goes back to his little cottage, where he'll probably coo over the cum leaking from his hole, over his puffy hole, eagerly awaiting for your next call.

[vexedandperplexed]

*panting and covered in blood* hi more memes guys

[outer-andromeda]

I had a classmate ask me if I had a Deltarune OC/Sona... so I decided to make one :DDD

and made him interact with Tenna because I'm the artist and I have freedom shhhhhh

[ahti-the-janitor]

[jellazticious]

MARK THIS DAY IN THE HISTORY BOOKS FOR T O D A Y PIZZA TOWER HITS THE SHELVES

[eliasbouchard]

oh what's this? it's a remedyverse vine compilation with the steel chair

[lasaga-iviolar]

Full Pizza Tower Cast

[atomicpirateperson]

okay this is a very minor detail in "the inquisition" but i just realized it and it's kinda sweet??

when they take the mask off rob, it flies way off-screen and is nowhere near him for the rest of the scene.

but in the next scene, it's right beside him.

this means at some point after he got knocked out, someone gave him his mask back!! isn't that nice!!

[fozzieosbourne]

Alan Wake as Poorly Written Two Sentence Horror Stories (pt. 3)

((ft. a surprise at the end))

[darlingzelda]

I think Mr. Johnson is my spirit animal.

[checkthescript]

[* Having almost dozed off leaning on its mop, the janitor flinches at the sudden influx of noise and lights, flailing helplessly for a moment.] !?

… M- Mr. Tenna? You’re okay! (Nearly gave me a heart attack…) - Janitor

[* Janitor is Y O I N K E D into the air by Tenna's big ol' gloved hand and held out in front of his screen. He grins at the exhausted worker, his bubbly energy seeming to be pouring out from his very being.]

Gooood morning, little Janitor! The Pippinses told me about you, too.

And you're coming with me.

[* With a spin and a snap of his fingers, they were on the stage. Tenna placed the Janitor gently down on his other side, opposite the Engineer. The crowd jumped and roared with delight!!]

And here we have our SECOND guest

of the day, folks!! Give it up for our new EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR!!!

[* Tenna raised a hand high above his head in presentation, microphone gripped in the other. The audience went wild!! The fun-o-meter appeared to be in the red, vibrating as the ratings apparently went off the charts. The stage was being showered in flowers, of which there was obviously no shortage to the folks in the crowd.]

WHAT an EVENT!!! Just LOOK at those ratings, folks!! You hear those cheers, my shining stars? Those are for YOU!!!

[* The lights, the sounds, the sights, the smells—it was chaos, CHAOS!]

Before we present you with your INCREDIBLE PRIZES, do you have any words for the people at home today, Employee of the Year?

[* Tenna tilted his head at the Janitor as he held the microphone out to them. He looked positively ecstatic!!]

[subjxctseventeen]

y'all i'm supposed to be a responsible adult and work and do laundry and play baldur's gate 3 but I can't stop thinking about all these sad cops sad artists and omnipotent finnish people

part one || part two

the final draft part one || the final draft part two

[vexedandperplexed]

more alan wake memes let's go babes