#mr. pooch

[thedepressedpelican]

"Mr Bod"

[motzartz]

"Monsieur Jacinthe Des Bois"

[tophthedaydreamer]

drawing of my interpretation of max's mom that i forgot to post! i used the character penny pooch as the basis for her design, as she's been theorized to be the mysterious mrs. goof.

this is probably what she looked like when goofy first met her during his 70s college days!

[astonmartinii]

the father who stepped up | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem gasly!reader

mr leclerc has been spotted with an all too familiar dog recently.

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | BROTHER'S BFF MASTERLIST

- part of the brother's best friend series -

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 1,094,523 others

yourusername: ceo of milf industries

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user1: i am NO better than a man

user2: i think enough time has passed... when do we get enzo's paddock debut

user3: i'm hearing monaco at least

pierregasly: this is false advertising

yourusername: enzo is my child, i am his mother

pierregasly: you're not cute enough to be a milf, sorry!

yourusername: just cause you've got the hairline of a grandpa is not mine or enzo's fault

pierregasly: MY HAIRLINE IS FINE

yourusername: PUSH BACK THE FRINGE

pierregasly: how dare you! this is a big insecurity of mine - you are NOT a girl's girl

yourusername: pierre why is mum calling me? PIERRE WHY IS MUM CALLING ME?

user4: i bet they have a get along shirt

yourusername: all i can say is that someone rocks it, and someone doesn't

pierregasly: are you still being mean while on the phone to mum????

yourusername: the hater grind never stops

estebanocon: enzo is getting so big 😭😭😭

yourusername: time flies, oh gosh i'm crying

estebanocon: motherhood does that to you

user5: i love how pierre and este are mortal enemies but y/n is besties with him regardless

yourusername: an opp of pierre is a friend of mine

charles_leclerc: cutest boy in the world

yourusername: i didn't know you had given up that title?

charles_leclerc: oh i-

pierregasly: STOP FLIRTING WITH HIM AND STOP BLUSHING IT'S JUST Y/N

user6: say it's just y/n as if it's NOT Y/N??

liked by charles_leclerc

pierregasly: I SAW THAT

pierregasly

liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 897,556 others

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pierregasly: what's the point of having a sister if you can't steal her dog

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user7: this pooch has to be one of the most spoilt and pampered dogs in the world

user8: i wish i died and was reincarnated as enzo

yourusername: oh sure, i'm sure i'm great for plucking your eyebrows and helping you text back girls (@francisca.cgomes you're welcome)

pierregasly: do you mind?

yourusername: did you really ever think you'd pull kika with your charm alone?

pierregasly: yes?

yourusername: the delusion of men should be studied

pierregasly: do i have to call mum again?

yourusername: you call yourself tripod, if anything i should be calling the POLICE

user9: i know kika must have the patience of a saint to deal with their bickering

user10: i fear for any man who wants to get with y/n cause lord knows at his big age pierre will be wheeling out the overprotective brother act

pierregasly: that's my god given right

yukitsunoda0511: not in the photo dump... i see how it is

yourusername: every girl for themselves sorry yuki san

yukitsunoda0511: i think pierre is just jealous of our looks

yourusername: i think that is exactly it yuki

charles_leclerc: yuki not in the post but i wasn't even invited 🤨

pierregasly: you're literally in italy?

charles_leclerc: and?

pierregasly: god forbid a man doesn't want to be bullied by you and y/n

yourusername: (pussy)

user11: not to be a freak but charles and y/n would be so cute together

pierregasly: say anything like that again and you're getting blocked

yourusername: they hate to see a girlboss winning

pierregasly: excuse me?

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc: no paternity test needed

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user15: okay.... like... they're slay

user16: i'm personally going to celebrate now before the pierre tantrum

yourusername: oh i've already blocked his number lol

pierregasly: knock knock

yourusername: HELP HE DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM PARIS

user17: is charles dead? can we have a sign of life?

charles_leclerc: they can't get rid of me bitch

pierregasly: you're hiding in the bathroom I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS GIGGLING

yourusername: you're BREAKING AND ENTERING

pierregasly: i have a key?

charles_leclerc: for emergencies?

pierregasly: THIS IS AN EMERGENCY I NEED TO BEAT YOUR ASS

yourusername: not his ass!!!! it's so cute :(

pierregasly: not the time

user18: i can't - why are they having a conversation in the comment section when they're separated by a single door

pierregasly: WHY IS ESTEBAN HERE????????????

estebanocon: 1. i love drama and i love annoying you 2. y/n called me as back up

yourusername: you're being insane and i needed the lanky man to escort you out!

pierregasly: i just want to talk

yourusername: I CAN HEAR THE SOCK

charles_leclerc: THE SOCK?

estebanocon: i can confirm he has the sock

yukitsunoda0511: why don't i know what the sock is :(

yourusername: it's a sock full of loose change that you swing as a weapon @ MEN OF ITALY PLEASE MOBILISE YOUR GOD IS IN DANGER

charles_leclerc: tell enzo i love him :((((((

pierregasly: WHY IS MAX HERE AS WELL?

maxverstappen1: i am nosey

maxverstappen1: and esteban left the door open

danielricciardo: i am also here

alexalbon: me too, @yourusername can i have some of the dessert in the fridge?

yourusername: is the entire population of monaco in our house?

charles_leclerc: with that many witnesses he can't do anything

pierregasly: WHY DID YOU GUYS GIVE THEM ENOUGH TIME TO GET OUT AND LET Y/N GET HER SOCK

pierregasly: HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

user19: what the fuck have i just read?

user20: are alpine down a driver?

yourusername

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yourusername: did you guys know i recently became an only child?

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user23: now this could either mean that she has disowned pierre or that we did actually witness murder by sock

user24: enzo down an uncle

maxverstappen1: i am more than ready to take his spot

danielricciardo: me too

alexalbon: me three

pierregasly: i'm still alive?

yourusername: GHOST 🫵🏻

charles_leclerc: someone get the sage STAT

pierregasly; do not try and cleanse me away

yourusername: then stop STINKING UP THE GAFF WITH YOUR ATTITUDE

pierregasly: THEN STOP FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND

charles_leclerc: 🤓👆 she's actually in love with me

yourusername: that's true i am actually in love with him

pierregasly: there's a difference?

yourusername: your fuckboy is showing... kika i'm so sorry

user25: we got a 'LOVE' guys it's real

yourusername: we have a child, this is so real

charles_leclerc: locked in for life 🫰🏻

estebanocon: he just passed out in the sim

yourusername: good 👍🏻

charles_leclerc: he'll come around at some point, but for right now i love you too much to care

yourusername: i love you too charlie x

charles_leclerc: i love you more

yourusername: NOT POSSIBLE

charles_leclerc

liked by danielricciardo, arthurleclerc and 2,309,877 others

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charles_leclerc: two years strong, no pierre tantrum can stop that :P

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user26: this is my official countdown to another pierre meltdown.

pierregasly: TWO YEARS? TWO YEARS? 730 DAYS? I CAN'T BE BOTHERED/CAN'T DO ANY MORE MATHS THAN THAT?

charles_leclerc: bro is proving why we didn't tell him in real time

pierregasly: i will choke you

charles_leclerc: you can't kill enzo's dad and be an absent uncle?

pierregasly: I AM NOT AN ABSENT UNCLE WHERE ARE YOU?

yourusername: newsflash bozo we thought ahead and are at a super secret second location

pierregasly: are you at max's?

yourusername: yes.

pierregasly: i knew you were too lazy to leave the building

yourusername: but you don't have a key to his place 😤

user27: y/n is real for that

maxverstappen1: EVERYONE BEHOLD I AM ABOUT TO COMPLIMENT CHARLES: enzo is very well trained and good with the cats

charles_leclerc: why thank you max

maxverstappen1: he must get it from his mother

charles_leclerc: rude! i thought this was a compliment to me?

yourusername: if it is my trait, it's singularly mine god lord it hasn't been passed down to all the gasly kids

pierregasly: i can read that you know

yourusername: you can read? next you're going to tell me you're potty trained as well

pierregasly: that's it i'm calling mum again

charles_leclerc: btw she already knows about us - i got permission from your parents

pierregasly: SO EVERYONE KNEW

yukitsunoda0511: i didn't :(

pierregasly: you're not in the family yuki that's not a big surprise

yukitsunoda0511: that's not what you said the other day... :((((((

pierregasly: i can't win these days

user28: first the alpine tractor and now this, pierre can't catch a break

pierregasly

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,784,560 others

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pierregasly: i guess we're bffs for life now

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user32: balance has been restored to the force

user33: the way it only took some puppy dog eyes from both charles and enzo and the past three week civil war was forgiven

yourusername: thank god, you really aren't made to be a drama queen, keep it for the radio

pierregasly: you're just lucky you chose a guy i like

yourusername: you forced me to hang out with him my whole life, so really this is all your fault.

pierregasly: ????

yourusername: it's always a man's fault

pierregasly: i give up. you win. sure it was my fault

user34: y/n ain't never losing an argument i feel sorry for pierre and charles

charles_leclerc: she's never wrong 🫡

yourusername: this is how it should be ladies

charles_leclerc: how does it feel to be the third favourite to your parents now?

pierregasly: really? i can get the sock back out?

charles_leclerc: i'm sorry!!!

pierregasly: but you are right, y/n is the favourite

yourusername: baby is always the favourite

arthurleclerc: true

charles_leclerc: 🙄

pierregasly: 🙄

yourusername: are we done being dramatic now? can i come to races and can we go to dinner?

pierregasly: don't you dare wear red

yourusername: too late :P

pierregasly: excuse me

yourusername: i've always been wearing red in some way every race

charles_leclerc: i can confirm

pierregasly: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

fin.

note: finally back with my fave ever trope and the pics of little leo just gave me that burst of inspiration. leo is so cute and so is the ice cream, charles really coming for babygirl of the year

[shotmrmiller]

I know I had already popped up earlier, but the last focus was about the PetAU, and it do be givin' me thoughts, though...

Just Mr Simon 'I'm never fuckin' jealous' 'Ghost' Riley finding a nice, pretty thing that he's been dating for a about, say.. a year and some months. He has Riley, sweet pup that he is, and he would have dropped you if Riley didn't like you. Thank the Gods that Riley found you acceptable, and you accepted the pooch back! Hurrah!

Yet.. a problem at the same time. Your attention was on the dog, telling the dog 'good boy', smooching the dogs face, giving the dog attention, attention, attention.. He wasn't fuckin' jealous.. So what is the reason why you come back home, having dropped Riley off at a few-day long doggy daycare at Simon's request, and find him on his knees, naked, wearing nothing but dog ears, a collar and- holy shit, was that a tail plug??

"Go on then, love. Tell me I'm a good boy."

this is so so tasty.

You've never mentioned it to Simon because you didn't want to scare him away with the fact that you liked to pet play, as both a pet and a handler.

But here he was, giving himself to you on a glistening silver platter, and there was no way you were going to pass this up.

He's your good boy, now— so you told him as such.

"You are just so precious." You crouched in front of his kneeled form and cupped his large face in your dainty hands. "Aren't you the most handsome pup ever? Hm?"

Simon's face flushes with the praise you shower him with— you can feel his skin warm under your touch— but you can't even control it now. The words spill from your mouth like water out of a faucet.

"Such a big, strong boy. You look like a wrestler, but I bet all the money in the world that you're a nuzzler. Just a soft, kind dog that wants love and attention, yeah?"

You're babbling at this point, but Simon is glowing under your admiration, and he looks so good on all fours. With a gentle, "Stay," you start to trail your fingers from his furry ears down— his spine arching under your touch and back muscles rippling under his skin— until you reach his thick tail.

"If this was real, I've no doubt it would be wagging, smacking me in the face. Isn't that right, handsome?"

Coiling the tip of his tail around two fingers, you give it a slight pull, and soothe him with a palm of your hand on his arsecheek when he hisses at the sensation.

"Oh, I know, sweetheart, I know. You look so good in this; I simply couldn't resist. Now sit for me, pup."

Simon sits back on his folded legs, hands resting in between his thick thighs, and you chuckle when you notice his erection at full mast, tip slick as it leaks precum.

"Want me to help you with that?"

He only stares at you, half-lidded eyes dark, swirling with lust.

"Speak."

Simon barks once.

"Good boy, handsome."

He can't stop the whine that slithers out from behind his clenched teeth when you wrap your hand around his fat, heavy cock and give him a squeeze.

Shushing him, you give him a few painfully slow pumps— skin bunching up on the upstroke— and press your thumb lightly on his slit.

"Your knees may be padded, but mine aren't," you hinted.

Getting up with a slight groan, a rub to your achy knees, and with one scrape of your nails on his head, you command him.

"Heel."

As you make your way towards the bedroom, the sound of his collar tinkling with each movement he makes sends a jolt to your throbbing core— arousal already dampening your knickers.

Simon barking is sending me into a tizzy i don't think you understand

[little-fox-adventures]

Goodbye my beautiful boy.

Mr. Fox was put to rest yesterday afternoon, he went peacefully at home. Rest easy beautiful soul, there are no words to describe how much I love you and how much I will miss you. Life without you will be painful but you have made a special place in my heart that will never be replaced.

Thank you all for your kind words, it’s made the build up and his loss much easier. Give your pooches a kiss on the head from me, they deserve all the love you give them ❤️

[gottawhump]

Inspection

Carlisle

CW/TW: BBU/WRU, pet whump, institutional slavery, offscreen noncon.

God, he hates random inspections. Scheduled ones he can prepare his people for. Knowing what’s coming doesn’t make it any easier, but it helps a little.

An Inspector showing up on his doorstep, going through his house, and harassing his people is absolute hell.

He has to smile and let it happen.

He keeps his smile pasted on while he leads the Inspector through his house.

“You allow the Designations to mix?”

“Yes. They socialize with each other.”

“Some people find it corrupts their training.”

“Hm.” People read what they want in neutral, noncommittal sounds.

He grits his teeth when Inspector Grey calls out “Respect” to see every Pet in earshot drop to their knees and genuflect. He keeps smiling, as Grey chooses random Pets to go through the different positions.

He genuinely smiles when he sees Gideon and 115 sitting together in a common room. He still isn’t sure about their relationship, but Gideon had brought 115 quite a bit out of his shell.

Perhaps the smile was the mistake.

Grey moves toward the pair, who react immediately to the black WRU uniform. Gideon stands up, tall and straight, making him appear bigger through his posture.

115 slides off the couch with boneless grace into a kneeling position.

“Good,” Grey says. “Now, come on. I want to see how much of your training you remember.”

He’s not smiling now, waiting outside 115’s room. Listening, despite himself.

He wants to wipe the smug, satisfied smile off the Inspector’s face when he comes out of the room. It’s a conscious effort to keep his hands from balling into fists, especially when he hears Gideon’s apologies and 115 crying.

Up until now, WRU Inspectors haven’t used his people that way. He pulls out his phone, instead of his fists.

“I’d like your WRU ID number, and your supervisor’s name and ID number.”

“Your Sanctuary passed my inspection, Mr. Black. There’s no need for that.”

“I want to file a complaint.”

The other man doesn’t laugh, though Carlisle can see he wants to. He does reel off the requested information, before finally leaving.

Gideon leans against a wall, looking sick and shaken. Despite the tears drying on his cheeks, and the bruises on his body, 115 seems eerily calm.

“I am sorry,” Carlisle says, hating the futility of it, hating that he can’t honestly say It won’t happen again.

Old Friends taglist: @painful-pooch @justplainwhump @redwingedwhump @maracujatangerine @honeycollectswhump @tragedyinblue @taterswhump @nicolepascaline @inpainandsuffering @simbahhishere @whimpers-and-whumpers @theoriginal-grasseater @writereleaserepeat

[reveluving]

a/n: while I received so many amazing thots (I'm not even joking. I'm still cooking <3), there wasn't any for Ale at all, and it didn't feel right ☝🏼🤨 so consider this a ‘reve's asks’ for our shy!wife collection! don't forget to leave some sugar!

Includes: pre-marriage (moved in together!), future mrs vargas is a little oblivious but that's okay, he loves her for it & tooth-rotting fluff!

COD x shy!wife thots closed! Thank you, everyone, for your time & amazing minds! I sincerely hope I can do this again with y'all soon! 💌

Come & check out my COD m.list!

“You're so cute!” 

You were at it again.

“You're a good boy,” Smooch smooch, “Yes, you are,” Smooch, “Our best boy,” Smooch, “The most distinguished gentleman in the world.” 

On most days, he would find it adorable. Seeing you bond with his fluffy pal despite the less-than-pleasant assumptions many have of the breed. But with the recent deployment lasting longer than usual, resulting in his return just yesterday, he was practically dying to have your attention.

But it seemed like Great Dane had the same plan, even though he got to spend time with you all the time. 

You had a knack of nuzzling Hernando’s fur, especially his stomach area, on days where you found him extremely irresistible (which was always, to be honest). The pooch barely minded the lipstick stains you would sometimes leave on his silky fur, only caring about your attention more than anything.

But sometimes, Alejandro thinks he was also acting cute for you just to spite him.

He revealed himself from behind the wall, smoothing out the front of his shirt as if he had just come down from upstairs. Hernando laid on his back, enjoying your unlimited belly rubs and head smooches.

Though he and Hernando pretty much were fighting for even an ounce of you, he'd be lying if he said seeing you, sweet little you, taming a giant beast with little to no problem.

Be it a Great Dane, who turns into a baby when you're around or a muscular colonel, who worships his beloved like his life depends on it.

“Oh, Ale,” You smiled, small and shy, slightly embarrassed at the thought of him overhearing you baby-talking yet again, “Ready to head out?” 

“Si,” He grinned, reaching for your hand for a sweet kiss before whispering against your temple, “You look beautiful as always, mi amor.” 

It should've been too early to feel the burn in your face. Hell, you should've expected it, especially when he has never missed a day to compliment you.

“Thank you,” You looked down for a moment, biting down the giddy smile before meeting his eyes, “You look very handsome.” 

“For you, amor, it would be a crime not to look my best.” He replied with zero hesitation, even puffing up his chest at your praise. He tried not to let his gaze linger, but oh, how impossible it was not to appreciate how your curves looked in your dress.

“Come,” He offered to hold the leash, partially to monopolize your attention as you walked, but just as you tried passing it to him, Hernando huffed. He sat on the floor as soon as it was in Alejandro's hand, seemingly persistent about not wanting to move when he was barking at the door just moments ago. He grumbled under his breath, knowing what the canine was trying to do, “Ay, dios mio.” 

He should've seen it coming.

The deadpan on his face softened as he heard you giggle, hiding your amusement behind your hand.

“It's okay, he's probably just grumpy that we're late.” You were supposed to take him to the park nearly half an hour ago if it weren't for Alejandro's sudden need to trap you against the wall for kisses when he saw you exited the bathroom in just a towel.

And just as he suspected, Hernando jumped to his paws the moment Alejandro returned the leash in your hands.

Typical.

Still, Alejandro was able to wrap his arm around you without his pal protesting, and he took advantage of it like no other.

If one thought getting mauled by a giant dog for making a lady uncomfortable was already scary, they'd have to think again.

Now, they'd have to worry about the same dog and his tall, dark and handsome… and intimidating owner.

But each time Alejandro managed to steal your attention for a few seconds longer, Hernando tugged at the leash. Not to the point of hurting you from the suddenness or worse, causing you to fall, but enough for the man to realize the little game he was playing at.

But for just a moment, Hernando seemed distracted by the birds near the pond.

You noticed, and Alejandro most certainly did, and to his gratefulness, you unhooked the leash from his collar. Patting his head, you said, “Go on, buddy.” 

Given the green light, he immediately zoomed towards the flock, his enormous size would scare the living shit out of a grown man, let alone some pigeons. 

You were about to ask Alejandro what the two of you should do while Hernando was going crazy on his own, he took you by surprise when he wrapped his arms around you before dipping you just a little. A stark resemblance to a cheesy scene in a romantic drama. 

The first thing you thought of doing as he embraced you was to cover your face with your hands. You were growing hot at the thought of the people, who were just trying to enjoy nature, seeing the passion your boyfriend was exhibiting in public. 

The softness in the way he spoke your name, despite his deep, gruff voice prompted you to pull your hands, away, albeit slowly. His eyes held adoration, and just a hint of jealousy, you realized. Whether or not he was concealing the rest of his enviousness was unknown, but his stare was… intense, to say the least.

With one arm around you and the other holding your hand, he leaned in and almost immediately, you closed your eyes, anticipating his lips on yours despite the possibility of being watched.

But the kiss never came. Not fully. You could feel his lips but it was nothing more than a feathery touch.

“Kiss me,” He whispered, “Kiss me, and I shall show you how much I yearn for you always.” 

Letting out a shaky sigh, you shyly closed the distance, only to gasp when he returned the kiss feverishly. Like a man starved, he held you against him like a lifeline as he shamelessly groaned in the kiss. 

But just as the passion clouded your mind, just as Alejandro was hoping to feel his lips against yours, you heard a bark.

And to your horror, Hernando was running towards the two of you at maximum speed.

Alejandro didn't waste any time, holding you to his chest while his back faced the Great Dane. Hernando body side-slammed into him, eliciting a grunt from Alejandro, followed by your squeal as your bodies tipped. 

Alejandro was quick to turn amid the fall, being the first to hit the grass while he became your cushion. 

You face planted into his chest, but it beats facing the same fate on the ground instead.

“Amor? Amor, are you okay?” He may have bore the brunt of it, but that didn't mean his worries were dispelled just yet. 

You could've gotten seriously hurt! 

Hernando had left the crime scene at this point, opting to play with the other dogs in the area, but Alejandro liked to think his buddy knew he was in trouble.

“I'm okay…” You raised your head with a tiny ‘ow’, only to begin fretting about falling on him. Thankfully, he laughed, a hearty one, the kind that you couldn't resist smiling at.

“I'm fine, don't worry,” Alejandro turned his head to the right, prompting you to follow his line of gaze. Hernando was having fun with a Pug and even an orange cat. One wouldn't have guessed he was the culprit of you and Alejandro's current state, “I guess he really is mad about us being late.” 

You traced your fingers along his chest, “That's your fault.” 

“Oh? I don't think you were very innocent either.” He teased back, not bothering to move his hands that were resting on your back, “But can you blame me? I can't let ‘Nando take up all of your attention, now that I'm back.”

“He's just feeling playful, now that you're back.” 

“More like a pain in the ass,” He mumbled, only to let out a painless ‘oof’ when you smacked his chest with an ‘Ale!’. He grinned, showing off his pearly whites as a way to say he was not sorry before gripping you tighter for a bear hug, “Come here!” 

He paid your squeaks and whines no mind, just content to be the one kissing you and making you laugh at that moment.

And though he'd have a little word with Hernando about nearly getting you hurt, he'd also like to say one thing.

“Thanks, hermano.”

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

[cheriden]

「 txt saying white dad vernacular 」 。。。

𐙚 SOOBIN

• *Eye rolls* “Oh for crying out loud!” • He DGAF. “Welp.” • He thinks he ate. He thinks he’s cool. He thinks the phrase “Go take a long walk off a short pier” is an epic comeback. • “I’ll do you one better” • “Honest to Betsy” Who is Betsy? • Says “To be frank,” too much in arguments. He is losing. • “Christ Almighty!” • “Guilty as Charged” When someone compliments him • "I don't give a darn!" Clearly, he does

𐙚 YEONJUN

• Picks up the phone saying: “Yellow?” • Has ”Livin’ the dream” under as many instagram posts as possible • *Scoffs* “That’s rich coming from you.” • All bark, no bite when he says, “You’re barking up the wrong tree!” • He shakes a fist in the air, saying “Why I oughta!” • “Let’s rock and roll!” And he’s gearing up to do something dorky. • “Get a load of this guy”

𐙚 BEOMGYU

• He hopes you’re ready for a “knuckle sandwich” • “Whoopsie daisy.” • Taunts people by saying “Oh yeah? You and what army?” • Asks for you to “hold your horses” • Overreacts. “It’s got a little kick to it.” It is level 2 buldak. • Hears Yeonjun pick up the phone saying “Yellow?” and thinks it’s the funniest shit ever. He answers the phone with “Green?” Nobody gets the joke. • Says “I'll be there in a jiffy.” Is an hour late. • “You really screwed the pooch there bud.” So many words, so confusing. Even he doesn't understand.

𐙚 TAEHYUN

• Points at you and says: “You’re on thin ice, pal!” • Offers to make you a “cup of joe”. • “Great work team!” • “News flash buddy!” or “No shit sherlock.” He thinks he’s being devastating • *Salutes* “See you later alligator” • “Time to clock out!” He’s tired, let him have this. • *Shakes his head* “I don’t give a rat’s ass."

𐙚 HUENINGKAI

• Thinks everything is the “bee’s knees” • “(Foreign name)... I’m gonna butcher this” • Claps his hands and says: “Let’s skedaddle.” • You’ve really done it now, you’ve made Kai angry. “That’s it. No more Mr. Nice Guy!” • “What a hoot!” and it’s something mildly interesting. • “Take a hike!” • Will add “bud” or “buddy at the end of each sentence.

Shoutout to white people 🔥😭❓ thank u for these phrases i think abt them a lot

thank you for reading! feedback, reblogs and tags appreciated♡

[vintageshanny]

Get Your Belt Unloose

This is a smutty little one-shot because I’m obsessed with how sexy he looks in a jumpsuit with no belt. (And you know me - I had to add in a little fluff at the end). Thank you @lookingforrainbows for inspiring me with this picture. ❤️

Content: Elvis On Tour-era (or honestly whatever year you want to picture) backstage hanky panky, 18+

“What’s your name, honey?” The words dripped off Elvis’ tongue as he wiped a sweaty lock of hair off his forehead. He blinked a couple times, his eyes still trying to adjust after an hour of staring into blinding spotlights and flashbulbs.

“Hi Mr. Presley, my name is Sherry. I’m covering your concert for the local newspaper, and I just have a couple questions for you.” The curvy brunette standing before him in a houndstooth dress started rattling off her rehearsed monologue.

“Well, I might have a couple answers for ya honey, but only if ya call me Elvis. That okay, Sherry baby?” Elvis laughed at his own joke and broke into song. “Sherry, Sherry baby! Anyone ever sing that to ya?”

Sherry smiled and bit down on her lower lip. He was so adorably pleased with himself that she didn’t have the heart to tell him that this was the most popular response when she shared her name. Darn those Four Seasons.

“Well, no one as handsome and charming as you.” The flirtatious tone surprised even her. She had been dying to meet Elvis, but her initial plan was to keep things professional until the interview was over, then she would just thank him for, y’know, being himself. She hoped the right words would come in the moment.

Elvis’ smile grew wider as he put his hand on the small of her back and beckoned to a small private room off the busy backstage hallway. “Let’s go somewhere a little quieter so you can ask me those questions.”

“Do you ever get nervous?” Sherry asked as Elvis closed the door behind them. “Nervous to perform I mean?” She tried her best not to focus on a little bead of sweat that had formed in his gray-flecked sideburn and was currently rolling down his neck toward his fuzzy chest.

“Oh yeah, I get nervous all the time. Stage fright I guess they call it. I-I-I mean, I do this all the time, y’know? B-b-but my fans, this could be their only show, so I wanna make sure it’s as perfect as it can be. Y’know what I mean, honey?”

“Definitely.” As she scribbled in her notebook, Sherry’s eyes drifted down to where Elvis’ long fingers deftly unfastened his belt, and she knew all her hopes of professionalism were out the window.

“Ooh boy, that starts ta pinch a lil bit by the end of the night,” he announced, letting out a sigh of relief at the feeling of freedom. “I guess I mighta gained a couple pounds since the last tour.” He hoped his self-deprecating chuckle would cover the very real insecurity, but the way Sherry licked her lips as her eyes stayed glued to his lower half let him know he had nothing to worry about.

“I think you look great!” The fabric of his jumpsuit seemed to mold to every contour of his body, highlighting the creases where his thighs joined to his groin. Without the belt, it was clear that the tiny pooch below his waistline led down to some sort of treasure, the soft bulge impossible to ignore. Something about the erotic nature of the visual summoned a supernatural courage in Sherry. “You don’t have to stop with the belt, y’know.” She relished in the pink hue that overtook Elvis’ complexion as a surprised little smirk spread across his lips.

“Ya always conduct your interviews like this, honey? It’s mighty unprofessional of ya.” He winked to let her know he really didn’t mind if she continued.

Sherry smiled back as she set down her notebook and took a step closer. “There’s a time and place to be professional.” She reached her hand up, letting his sweaty chest hairs tickle the backs of her fingers as she slowly pulled his zipper down as low as it would go, a few inches south of his belly button, most of his white briefs now exposed to her, the bulge inside them more prominent now.

“Wh-what’d ya have in mind for this time and place?” Elvis leaned down and pressed his lips softly against Sherry’s, his hands running down the sides of her breasts to her waist.

“Let me show you,” Sherry murmured into his mouth as she slipped her hand down inside the jumpsuit. Through his briefs, she felt the treasure she’d been searching for - something soft and thick and warm. He started to harden immediately as she rubbed her hand over him. Elvis’ lips parted in a soft moan, and Sherry took the opportunity to lean in and kiss him again, licking his tongue. “You taste sweet,” she whispered.

“Oh, Sherry baby, d-d-don’t tease me,” Elvis groaned. “T-t-touch me for real, honey.”

Sherry pulled open the waistband of his briefs and put her hand inside, wrapping her fingers around him and pumping up and down. She pressed her thumb gently against his tip, which was sticky with precum.

“Oh, goddammit,” Elvis groaned out, his head tilted back and his long graceful neck on display. Sherry leaned in, still pumping his dick, and kissed his neck, letting her teeth nip at him ever so lightly. Then she moved her lips down to where his jumpsuit was gaping open and gave his nipple a lick, sending a shiver through his body. Elvis tilted his head forward now, his eyes closed as he reached around and gripped her butt.

“Oh wow,” Sherry breathed out as she pulled his waistband out so she could get a better look at what she was handling. Between the vibrations of their heartbeats seeming to make the entire room spin and the sight of Elvis’ throbbing pink cock in her hand, Sherry thought she might orgasm right then and there, without even being touched. As if completely in tune with her desires, Elvis’ large warm hand slipped under her short dress and inside her panties, his fingers tracing over her dripping wet folds before penetrating her entrance. He pushed her legs open a little bit more so he could sink in deeper, hitting some magical spot inside of her.

“Oh, oh, Elvis,” Sherry moaned, clenching around his fingers, waves of pleasure making it difficult to even stand, much less keep up her rhythmic pumping inside his underwear.

“Damn, honey, ‘s like a faucet down there. Ya sure were ready for me, hmm?”

Sherry nodded and tried to focus her efforts back on him, her body still reeling from the intensity of the pleasure he gave her. She decided to just really go for it, her heart racing with nerves and desire. She pulled his underwear down in the front, completely exposing his hard dick and hanging balls.

“Aww honey ya ain’t g-g-gotta-” Elvis started to protest but could only watch with lust as she sank down on her knees in front of him, enveloping him in her mouth and gently massaging his balls. “Goddamn,” Elvis groaned and licked her arousal off his fingers as Sherry grabbed his butt and pulled him tighter against her, forcing him deeper into her mouth. She tried to keep her throat relaxed as he panted above her, his dick pulsing, shooting spurts of warm cum into her.

“That was some interview, honey. You’re a forward lil’ thing, ain’t ya?”

Sherry blushed at that and tried not to stare as Elvis tucked himself back in and zipped his jumpsuit halfway up, leaving part of his glistening chest exposed. “Not usually,” she admitted.

“Oh?” Elvis looked surprised. He was usually good at telling who the good girls were and who just wanted to say they’d had Elvis Presley. “This was special for today?”

“This was special for you. I mean, I don’t usually go around doing this, but I just really wanted to make you feel good.” Sherry felt silly trying to explain her feelings for a man she technically just met, but Elvis’ pleased grin calmed her.

“Believe it or not, honey, I don’t usually go around doin’ this either.”

“I do believe you,” Sherry responded with a smile of her own.

“Why’s that?” Elvis’ brow furrowed. Usually people acted shocked to hear he wasn’t with a different woman every night.

“The way you were trembling a little bit when I pulled your zipper down. You seemed almost as nervous as I was.”

“Well, what did I tell ya? Stage fright,” Elvis laughed. “I hope I made ya feel good too, baby.”

“You know you did,” Sherry laughed. “I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so good, to be honest,” she added with a blush. “What you might not know is that you make me feel good all the time.” Elvis looked at her quizzically, waiting for an explanation. “My life has been, well, very painful at times, and when I hear you sing, it makes me happy. I actually begged my editor for this assignment so I could tell you how much you mean to me. I didn’t necessarily intend to throw myself at you, but you’re kind of irresistible,” she finished with an embarrassed little smile.

“Wow, honey, that’s real sweet of ya ta say.” Elvis blinked before a tear could roll down his cheek. “You don’t know how much it means ta hear ya say all that. Maybe now we’re even with makin’ each other feel good.”

“Elvis, I could touch you and, um, uh, kiss you like that every day and it would never be enough to make us even. You deserve…everything,” Sherry whispered, a blush spreading over her face.

“Hmm,” Elvis pondered. “Every day? Ya think ya’d have the energy for that?”

Sherry giggled and gave him a playful shove. “I’d do anything for you.”

Elvis smiled a sweet crooked grin. “Well, let’s say I need ya ta make me feel good again. How do I go about findin’ ya?”

Sherry grabbed her long-forgotten notebook and scribbled down her name and phone number.

“What’re ya gonna write about me in your article?” Elvis asked as they headed back into the hallway.

“The truth. That watching you perform was the best night of my life. And you’d do anything to please your fans.” Sherry gave a little wink to make sure her innuendo wouldn’t be lost. Elvis laughed and pulled her in for a deep kiss.

As they parted ways, Sherry didn’t know if she’d ever see him like this again, but she did know that this memory would last a lifetime.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @whositmcwhatsit @missmaywemeetagain @lookingforrainbows @thatbanditqueen @be-my-ally @ellie-24 @from-memphis-with-love @arrolyn1114 @atleastpleasetelephone

[natashaslesbian]

Hi, if you’re doing quest, can you do one with Kate and Yelena and were their kid (4 or 5 years old)and we get into a bunch of mischief Kate gets mad a little

Little Devil

Word Count: 741

Parings: (Mommy!Kate x Kid!Reader) (Mama!Yelena x Kid!Reader)

————

“Ooooo” you whispered as you sneaked up to a new door “this oom sem fun!” You mumbled as you reached for the handle, pulling down gently to open the door. Your eyes lit up at the sight of a new place to explore and you were immediately drawn to the very fluffy looking couch in the corner.

“Y/n” Kate called out into the communal living area though no one called back. She checked the kitchen, your playroom and bedroom and then hers and Yelena’s bedroom “y/n” she called into the silence again “Yelena” she tried. “Yeah sweetheart” the blonde said as she rounded the corner with a very damp Fanny. “Where is y/n?” Kate asked “she’s in her playroom” Yelena said “no she’s not” Kate answered “she’s not?” Yelena asked “no!” Kate said, starting to feel a little frustrated at her wife.

You started with small bounces on the soft couch, just to test the waters. Soon you were jumping almost as high as the ceiling! You were laughing so loud, it was a miracle no one had heard you. When you began to grow tired you sat down with mr bunny and ran your hands across the the soft blanket, now crumpled beneath you “dis so fun!” You said, slightly out of breath.

“Kate calm down” Yelena said to her wife as she followed behind her down the long corridor “she can’t have gone far” the blonde was far to used the wrath of her archer lover, having lost you on more than one occasion (well technically you ran away from her) “oh give me a break Yelena!” Kate said “this is up there with the time you lost her at the zoo and found her with the pandas!” Yelena froze at the memory, slightly humoured by it but not wanting to piss off Kate anymore.

Meanwhile, you had found something more interesting than the bouncy couch. A large cabinet stood next to the door and you couldn’t stop your little inquisitive mind from wanting to take a look “what did?” You said as you pulled on the highest handle you could reach. Your little muscles fought so hard to find this hidden treasure, you simply had to know what was inside. You pulled and pulled until something started to shift “I’m so stong!” You beamed as you continued to pull on the handle.

Kate was getting frantic by now, searching all your common hiding places for a game of hide and seek “y/n come out!” Yelena called “mommy and mama are worried now” she was starting to panic too. The pair continued down the many halls when a loud crash stopped them abruptly in their tracks “did that come from my office?” Kate said through an almost whisper.

“Uh oh” you said as you stood back and looked upon the mass of paperwork spread out onto the floor. The door swung open and a ball of fur came running towards you “Fanny!” You exclaimed, giving the pooch a massive squeeze “I hop mommy n mama don fine out” you whispered to the dog, who gave you a low woof in response. “Too late little monkey” a voice said from behind you. Spinning around quickly you ended up facing a very angry Kate “mommy” you said “it was Fanny!” You used your puppy eyes in hopes that the story would be convincing “I don’t think so baby” Kate said “Fanny has been with me and mama” her scolding eyes looked down at you.

“I’m sowry” you mumbled “didn’t meen to” Kate’s anger began to settle and Yelena came straight to your side “it’s alright baby we forgive you, don’t we mommy?” She said to you and her partner. Kate came to settle down next to the both of you “of course we do, but y/n you know you’re not to go wondering off without a big person” she said “but I couldn’t find mama!” You cried “oh I know sweetheart” Kate said as she scooped you up in her arms “that’s why mamas gonna stay here and clean all this mess up” she continued as she tickled your tummy “what!” Said Yelena “maybe now you’ll learn not to let our little devil go wondering off and end up in places she’s not supposed to be, like with pandas” Kate said as she carried a giggling you out of the office “hey!” Yelena shouted back “at least they were friendly pandas!”

————

[thedepressedpelican]

Mr Hendricks - Sunday Relaxation Mode

[motzartz]

"Happy Head"

[sweetcheeksschemmenti]

Red Rover, Red Rover Part 1.

Melissa Schemmenti x Fem Reader

Summary: You convince your wife, Melissa, to take in a stray dog until you can find its owner. She reluctantly agrees, reminding you that the pup will end up in the pound if no one comes forward. Spoiler: The dog doesn’t go to the pound.

WC: 1.8K

No warnings apply :)

One Monday afternoon, Barbara burst into the teachers’ lounge with a hand clutching her pearls. “Sweet baby Jesus and the grown one too! There is a dog running amok through the school, it almost knocked my kindergarteners over on our way to lunch,” she yelled.

You shot up out of your chair in excitement, you loved dogs and considered yourself to be a friend to all of them. You were determined to befriend this one as well. Without a word, you ran into the hallway with Melissa hot on your heels. She knew very well that if you were left to your own devices, whatever mutt was wreaking havoc in the school would be going home with the two of you.

Following the sounds of teachers yelling at children to get back to class, you were able to locate the intruding pup pretty quickly. The flash of red fur bolted back and forth between classroom doors, just trying to find someone who was willing to love and play with them. Melissa kept an eye on it while you ducked into your classroom for a split second to grab the tennis ball from your desk drawer- you kept one to erase scuff marks on the floor and Mr. Johnson loved you for it. Once you returned to the hall you got down on your knees and bounced the ball a couple of times to get the pup’s attention.

“C’mere puppy! Look, I’ve got a ball, you wanna play fetch? Hi puppy,” you cooed and patted your lap. Melissa whistled and the cocker spaniel bounded over to the both of you, very interested in the ball and the promise of attention. Though the pooch stayed just an arm’s length away, you could tell it didn’t have a collar and was a little too skinny. “Baby, could you grab my sandwich from the lounge please? I think this cutie might be hungry. And maybe a rope from Mr. Johnson so I can make a make-shift leash,” you asked and the redhead obliged.

While you waited for her to return, you tossed the tennis ball down the length of the hall and watched the excited dog chase it and bring it back. You were surprised when the dog gently placed the ball at your side each time. After a few rounds, Melissa returned with your sandwich and a shot rope, and sat with you on the ground. The dog immediately started sniffing and getting closer, eager to steal the food.

You pulled apart the sandwich, removing the bits of lettuce and tomato. You held up a piece of turkey and said, “Sit!” The dog very politely sat on its haunches, looking at you expectantly. Impressed by how smart the pup was, you tossed the turkey in its direction and it gobbled it up. After a few more tricks, you decided to try and get the dog closer to you so you could get the rope around its neck.

“Hi sweetie, why don’t ya come over here so I can love on ya,” you kissed at the pup and placed the last piece of turkey on your lap. The pup felt safe enough to take the snack and immediately rolled onto its back, submitting to you as you gently pet the soft fur. “You’re twins, Mel! You’re both redheaded and melt at my touch,” you teased your wife with a smile and she lightly swatted your arm. “She’s awfully cute, isn’t she? She looks just like Lady from Lady and The Tramp!” You stuck your bottom lip out and flashed the biggest puppy dog eyes possible at her.

Melissa pursed her lips, “She’s adorable hon, but we are not taking her home.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes before reaching out to pet the Lady look-a-like herself. The dog wiggled onto her stomach and army crawled over to Melissa. Once she was practically in her lap, she sat up and licked the tip of Melissa’s chin as if to say ‘please love me’. You watched as your wife’s face squished, earning her more kisses from the sweet pup.

“Baby, please! Even if it’s just to give her a place to stay until we find her owners,” you begged. Jacob rounded the corner with a bag from the pet supplies store down the street.

“No, Y/N. You’re gonna get attached and then I’m the one who’s gonna have to hold you while you cry when the owners pick her up. She’s gonna break your heart. And who’s to say we’ll even find the owners? What if we have to drop her off at the shelter, hm?”

Jacob dumped the contents of the bag on the ground, startling the pup who leaned closer into Melissa for protection. You smirked when you noticed her hold the sweet dog closer to her chest to make her feel safe. “As soon as I heard we had a cutie on the loose, I ran down the street and got one collar of every size and a leash, a couple of cans of food, and a bag of treats so we could capture them safely,” he said, out of breath.

He kneeled down next to Melissa while she held the pup and tried on a couple of the collars. Once he found the perfect fit, he attached the leash and handed it to you, sitting down to love on the cocker spaniel as well.

“Mel, I promise I’ll be okay either way. We can put up posters, put an ad in the paper, call vet offices to see if any pets have been reported missing, we can-“

“Oh, I can help! Let me snap a pic of her real quick and I can have a found poster ready in the next five minutes! Ten if you want it to look professional,” Jacob interrupted, eager to help. The redhead rolled her eyes and handed the pooch over to you as she stood up.

“Fine. But you have one week. After that, pipsqueak is going to the shelter. You better find somewhere to keep her until school’s out, lunch is almost over and the kids don’t need to be distracted more than they already are.” She smoothed her shirt and pants before helping you off the ground. You thanked her with a kiss and smiled wide at her before carrying the little lady to the lounge, Jacob trailing close behind.

Teachers took turns watching over the cocker spaniel while classes resumed until Ava walked in for a cup of coffee and said, “Aw hell naw”. Mr. Johnson confessed it was you and Melissa who decided to keep the dog in there. She stomped her way back to her office and pressed the intercom button. “Mrs. Schemmentis, please report to my office in regards to your furry friend.”

You asked Jacob to keep an eye on your students while you ran down to the office. Melissa was already there when you arrived, arms crossed. “I don’t care which one of you does it, but someone needs to take that dog home, it can’t stay here another minute,” Ava demanded. You sighed heavily before looking over to Melissa who raised a brow at you.

“I’ll take her home, my last period is planning anyway. Not like I’m gonna miss much,” the redhead said. You were shocked that she offered before you could, but your kids had a test that afternoon that they couldn’t miss and you really needed to stay.

“Thank you, Mel! I promise you won’t have to be alone with her for too long. I’m just gonna stop and grab a crate for her on my way home later,” you kissed her on the cheek and watched her roll her eyes. She knew you were already attached to the animal.

“Alright lovebirds, get outta here,” Ava dismissed you with a wave of her hand.

When you finally made it home with a crate and supplies for the week, you found Melissa curled up on the plastic wrapped couch fast asleep with the ball of fur tucked into her elbow. You snapped a quick photo and sent it to Jacob with the caption ‘Red’s gone soft, might end up with a dog by the end of this after all’. He responded with a simple red heart and a ‘sweet dreams, Big Red and Little Red’.

So as not to wake them, you quietly made your way upstairs to set up the crate in the spare room. You finished fairly quickly and walked back downstairs to see your wife sitting on the couch reading a book with the dog on the floor by her feet, almost as if she didn’t want to be caught enjoying the dog’s company. “Hi baby, have a good nap?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, slept pretty well. I told the pipsqueak she wasn’t allowed on the couch but she must’ve hopped up when I was asleep.” She placed the book on the table and invited you to sit next to her.

“Uh huh, sure,” you said, giving her a knowing look as you rounded the side of the couch to snuggle into her. The dog jumped up and curled up between the two of you, and before Melissa could tell her no you reminded her that the couch was protected by the ridiculous wrapping. She agreed the pup would be allowed on the couch but made sure you knew she wasn’t going to be sleeping in your bed.

Bedtime rolled around quickly and you led the ball of fur into the spare room to put her in the crate for the night. You made her a bed with blankets and gave her a treat for being a good girl, closing the door behind you as you headed to your own room. Just as you laid your head on Melissa’s chest- your favorite place to sleep- and closed your eyes, the pup started howling. Melissa sighed and you untucked yourself from her arms to quiet the dog. You sat beside her crate until she was asleep and you quietly made your way back into bed. Wrapped in Melissa’s arms once again you started to fall asleep, only to be startled awake by the cries coming from the other room. This time, Melissa got up and left the room, returning less than a minute later with the pup in tow. She sat the dog on the bed, resumed her position and pipsqueak found herself a soft spot at the foot of the bed.

She pulled you back into her arms and kissed your forehead. “Sucker,” you whispered.

“Neither of us woulda gotten any sleep if it had continued. We’re not keeping her. I love you. Good night.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Love you too.”

[broiderie]

Lost Princessa: Meet the Reaper 32

Alright. It's short- as I expect my updates will be for a while- but it's an update.

Don't steal my shit

Warning: talk of hitmen, gun usage, cocky as fuck Miguel Galindo, and cursing. Filler.

"We're all set. Meeting Galindo at the range in an hour," Creeper said as he snapped the burner phone closed.

"Good," Marcus said with a nod. He looked to Happy. "I'll have my conversation while you do your thing, Reaper."

Happy smirked.

Hank patted Megan's hip. "C 'mon, mi reina. Let's go get you armed." She stood obediently.

"Just a second, Tranq," Bishop said. "Lemme get her new Kevlar off my bike." He grinned at Marcus. “Your boy came through." He returned a few moments later with a different kind of Kevlar. "Here. Swap the riding armor out of her kutte for this. Then when she zips her kutte closed- instant Kevlar."

Taza laughed." Thanks, ‘Mano. That'll make Coco happy." He took it from his president to go place it.

Creep nodded as well. "I'll let the others know about the meet. I'll let Coco know about the addition to Little Princess’ gear. Maybe it'll keep him from getting too trigger happy."

Bishop snorted. "Alright. Angel and the Prospect are most likely already gone South. Have Gilly, Riz, and Coco meet us there."

Hank and Megan armed her with her knives and guns quickly and met everyone outside at the porch.

"Sorry, Chica. Probably best if we leave the pooch here and you ride the bike with Hank," Taza said. “The car won't favor the terrain out there."

Megan nodded and scratched Rex's ears. She pressed a kiss to the top of his furry head and gave him the command to stay. Then, she took Hank's helping hand and mounted the Road King behind her caballero.

They arrived at the meeting spot about fifteen minutes before the appointed time. Once off the bike, Hank carefully zipped Megan's kutte for her.

"Move her holster to the outside," Happy grunted. "She'll need it."

Hank froze, but Megan shrugged out of the kutte and handed it to him before swapping it for her holster. Once both were back on, Hank helped her adjust the buckles on her shoulder rig to accommodate the bulk of the leather. "Too tight, mi amore?" he asked quietly.

Megan rolled her shoulders carefully. "Nope. All good."

Happy nodded and tilted his head towards the targets. "C'mon, Little Girl. Let's see that aim."

Megan moved with Happy to the range area and began target practice as the rest of the club barreled up the dirt road. It wasn't long before Coco came to join her with more ammo from the armory. The rest of the bikers settled in to wait.

A dark Range Rover came into view 15 minutes after the designated meet time. It parked and the passengers waited for the dust to settle before Nestor climbed out of the driver's seat to open the back seat door. Out stepped Miguel Galindo in his perfectly pressed three piece suit. When the car first arrived, Megan made as if to stop the shooting she was doing, but Happy shook his head. He guided her to keep going. "Ignore the flash, Little Girl. Don't give him the satisfaction."

Coco caught on quickly. "Keep shootin 'Ma. He thinks he can intimidate la princessa de los Mayas. Show him you don't give a shit."

Megan nodded after glancing to be sure Hank and Taza were both between her and the approaching cartel leader. She continued to shoot- putting bullet after bullet in a tight pattern on the target in front of her. Coco kept himself distracted with her shooting as well, while Happy made sure that the Reaper on his kutte was very visible to the suited men.

Marcus met Miguel with Bishop and Taza in tow. "Appreciate the meeting, Mr. Galindo. I believe we have some important things to discuss," he said as he offered his hand to shake.

Miguel took the handshake with a too white smile. "Of course, Marcus.. I'm hoping you have news I want to hear." He glanced at the other two men. "I assume you've discussed things with them?"

"You didn't really give him a choice with that comment yesterday," Bish pointed out. "Not that it mattered. We'd already discussed things as a club." He lit a cigarette with his zippo.

Miguel buttoned his suit jacket. "Just a business tactic, gentlemen."

Marcus frowned. "So- harassing my goddaughter? Is that a business tactic as well? Because I don't appreciate you bringing her into our business."

Miguel paused. "I wasn't aware that expressing polite concern for the welfare of a vulnerable young lady was considered harassment." He cut his eyes to the range where Megan continued picking off farther and farther targets with her handgun as the others looked on.

Hank stood halfway between the two groups with his arms crossed so that he could see what was happening with his president as well as the love of his life.

Taza crossed his own arms and chuckled a bit evilly. “Vulnerable is not how I would describe la princessa." He pointedly looked between her and the cartel boss. "Especially with her training."

Miguel scoffed slightly, but paused as Nestor leaned over to murmur something only he could hear. Miguel nodded and straightened his shoulders before putting his hands in his suit pants pockets. "You let a well known hitman that close to your family and then question my motives. You do know who you have her associating with?"

Now it was Marcus' turn to chuckle a bit. "Of course. Megan has grown quite close with several Sons- including the Tacoma Killer. He gifted her a protection dog for her birthday. The Scot as well. She's... very well liked in our world." He shrugged casually. "In any case- she is none of your business. Ever. You came to me with an offer at the casino. Now, I'm ready to answer you."

"And that answer is?"

"I require certain... conditions... that will not be violated if you want me in your organization." Marcus reached for his own cigarillo and lighter. "I will never act against my club or my family. I also require guarantees that Megan, my wife, and my daughter are kept out of any cartel business. Any cartel business. They are innocent and are to remain outside your world."

Miguel turned to watch Megan shoot again. "How do you plan to do that with your precious princess as part of your club? Especially with the Feds involved."

Bishop tapped the ash from his cigarette. "Let us worry about that. You just worry about leaving Megan alone. No more early morning spa day offers. No more date interruptions. Nothing."

Taza nodded. "The buisness doesn't touch her and neither do you."

Miguel pursed his lips as if in thought. "I will agree not to instigate anything more than a casual greeting between acquaintances- but if she comes to me of her own accord, I will not turn her away. Fair enough?"

"And the assurance of no action against my club or its members?" Marcus asked.

"I've no reason to act against an ally- as long as they don't act against me. Your club is safe," Miguel said. "So- will you be joining me, Marcus?"

"Pending a table vote by the club- yes. We'll vote it tonight. You'll have my final answer by lunch tomorrow."

Miguel offered another handshake. "Excellent. Glad you made the right decision. I'll have the contract drawn up- with your conditions- and ready for you to sign."

Marcus shook Miguel's hand, and they both turned to look back at Megan only to find Happy watching them closely. The bald Son blatantly stared down the cartel leader and his security with a slightly manic smirk as he loaded a magazine for Megan.

"You really should be more careful about the friends your goddaughter makes, Marcus. You never know when a mercenary like that will turn on her," Miguel pointed out with a nod. "I happen to know, Devante worked with Mr. Lowman several times under my father."

Marcus smirked a bit. "Poquito makes her own choices about her friendships. And we think the training he offers is likely to be beneficial. I thought her caballero made that perfectly clear. Megan isn't fragile like glass, Mr. Galindo. She's fragile like a bomb."

Bishop chuckled. “And twice as deadly."

After a few more pleasantries, Miguel and Nestor loaded up in their slightly less shiny SUV and drove off back to civilization.

Once they were out of sight, Coco patted Megan's good shoulder. "You're good, Ma. Let's get some water, huh?"

Megan relaxed from her shooter's stance and safetied her weapon. "Thank goodness. My ears are ringing and the kickback was starting to bother my wrist."

Happy also patted her slightly awkwardly. "You did good, Little Girl. I think we made our point."

Creeper brought them some water bottles as Megan unzipped her kutte. He cracked Megan's open before handing it to her with a grin.

"And what point, exactly, did we make?" she asked as she sipped from the cool bottle.

Hank walked over with a smile. "That you are a very well connected woman, mi reina. That the Sons of Anarchy as well as the Mayans support and protect you."

Gilly snorted- "And that you're a fucking badass with a gun. Damn, Princessa. Did you miss?"

Coco chuckled. "Not on anything in range she didn't."

Megan shrugged nonchalantly. " Told you I could shoot."

All the men around her laughed as Hank pulled her close enough to kiss her forehead. "That you can, mi amore."

Taza, Marcus, and Bishop came over to join them as they started picking up Megan's brass. "Tio Marcus- how'd it go?" she asked handing Creeper the spent cartriges in her hand.

Marcus smiled reassuringly at her. "All good, Bebita. We'll vote tonight in Templo. Your Tia and Prima will be much closer soon." Megan hugged him tightly, but didn't say anything else.

Back at the clubhouse, they parted ways with Happy. The quiet Son ruffed Megan's hair affectionately before handing her a small piece of paper with a phone number on it and a simple smilely face. “Take care, Little Girl."

Megan smiled and tucked the paper in her kutte pocket. "Ride safe, Happy."

With a nod for the other Mayans, Happy buckled his helmet and was gone.

Taza slipped a gentle arm around her sholaders and smiled down at her. "What'd he give you, Chica?"

Megan pulled it out and showed him. "I assume his cell phone number." She shrugged. "I'll get it in my phone..."

Bishop overheard her and choked on air. Once he'd cleared his throat, he asked. "Really?"

Megan looked at her godfather in confusion. "I mean-it's a phone number with a happy face beside it... Why?"

Hank smiled as he stowed her helmet on his bike. "Because, Princessa, not even I have any number for Happy except his club burner."

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[dalekofchaos]

If Spyglass didn't fuck things up

My ideal Scream 7 if Spyglass didn't fuck the pooch, would've been this.

Tragedy strikes the Core Four and Sidney.

Martha Meeks was found murdered, as was Sidney's kids' babysitter and all the while Mr Carpenter was found dead.

And all of a sudden, Christina Carpenter turns up and invites everyone to the Carpenter family Cabin to celebrate Christmas.

The Core Four, Sidney, Mark, Gale, Danny and Kirby all under one roof in a snowed in cabin with only a landline as access.

With Ghostface planning some festive kills while also paying homage to Black Christmas

Ghostface's robes would be red and green with fur collared hands and boots with Christmas bells at the ends of the robes and a Santa hat replacing the cowl and a candy cane knife.