#muahaha this sniplet is way beyond the plot

[claire-want-to-sleep-all-day]

disappearing into the snow, I leave my goodbye letter to you.

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written for April is the Cruelest Month. day 8: "why did you do it?"

fandom: blue exorcist. context for clueless souls

a part of "a promise made in the night" chapters: 1/2 song: ashita harukakitara - claris

(On December 28th, Okumura Rin left True Cross Order, leaving old letters and cassettes for his twin brother, Okumura Yukio.

This is the story about how the truth is unraveled by the dead, about handwritten letters contained one's hope and dream written for ten years, about love transcended the dead to reach the living.) ------------------------

creak

Yukio fluttered his eyes open after the sound of door creaking woke him up from sleep. He sluggishly sat up and reached for the glasses, but someone's warm hands held him back, and tucked his hand into theirs. A homely aroma reached his nose, lulled him back to dreaming. He heard nii-san's quiet laugh rang softly in the air, and then, his brother hummed a lullaby. It's the same tune nii-san always hummed when Yukio had nightmares, a reminder of the sweet childhood they shared with each other before that fateful day came.

He felt someone with the unique sakura flower scent kissed his forehead so gently, someone with calloused hand caressed his cheek with so much care. Was that Mom and Dad come to visit him? Yukio didn't know, he wanted to know, but the affection has melted his sleepy head into a mush.

(It would be nice if I can live in this dream for eternity.)

"Yukio, I, Dad and Mom love you. We love you with all our heart."

Nii-san whispered so suddenly, his voice trembled with an overwhelming sadness Yukio couldn't describe.

(Something is wrong, very wrong.)

"I have to leave to deal with some troubles, so we won't be able to meet each other for a long time."

(Why are you leaving me alone? And you planned to go for how long?)

"Probably will be gone for the rest of your life. Heh, I'm going to miss a good chunk of our birthdays, aren't I?."

(Where are you going? Please don't leave me here.)

"But I promise you Yukio, when spring comes, I will come and meet you at our secret bus stop."

Yukio tried to wake up, to grab the warmth sliding from his hand, to make him stay, to wipe off the tears on his face, yet the dreamland is cruel.

"So.. please wait for me. I will.. I definitely will come back and take you with me! I also left a bunch of letters and cassettes for you, so make sure to check it! And.. and.."

(Nii-san, why are you crying? Don't scare me like that. You promise to stay!)

"And remember, even if you can't see me, Mom and Dad, we are always right beside you. You'll know when we are there. So.."

They both know this is their final word, that when the line is said, Rin will leave and they will likely not meet each other again for who knows how long?

What can they do? What can he do to keep nii-san from leaving? Why is nii-san accepted to leave so easily?

"Live well, Yukio, and see you tomorrow."

Yukio fall deeper and deeper into the darkness against his wish. He fight, desperately trying to reach out, but this is a fight he isn't meant to win. The warmth holding his hand slipped away, and with it, his brother, his family, the person he sought to protect, his nii-san, has left him.

Okumura Yukio wake up on December 28th, his twin brother whom he love the most has vanished from the world without a trace.

When he wake up from dream, the quietness is the first thing he noticed. There's no smell of cooking, no sight of nii-san's bubbly voice echo in the hall, nothing to assure him his twin didn't just leave him.

"Nii-san is probably go out to buy fresh ingredients for breakfast," Yukio told to himself. For what? He doesn't know. But as long as he can keep the act up, Yukio can dream of a day nii-san will come back and take him to where his family is.

Two old boxes sit still on the table catched his eyes. His illusion shattered into pieces.

Reaching toward the old letters and cassettes, doubts and anxiety seared his mind with so much possibilities, his whole body is churned and wrenched with desperation.

"There must be a way to find nii-san back. There has to be."

Yukio doesn't think he is ready for what nii-san had written in here.

Yet, he still read the letter.

The realization dawned on him.

Yukio realized, this is all about him. His brother signed himself away to be the Messenger and Judge of Elysium for a chance he wouldn't have to see demon again, and to give him a normal life as long as he could.

"Why did you do it?" Yukio cried, tears falling freely on his face to the pristine white paper.

All these years, he has lived with the idea of being his brother's protector, but turn out, that was another pretty illusion he crafted for himself.

That isn't the worst part.

The worst part is, Yukio is not going to have his brother back, because they are now separated by the fate of the world and Styx River, and he can't do anything about it.

There is no way to save him, because it's nii-san himself made the decision.

There is no way to find him, because as long as four winds still blowing, nii-san is nowhere and everywhere in the world.