#muppet tarot

[andthegeekshallinherit]

The greatest thing ever.

Want these to be proper cards now.

[muppet-facts]

Muppet Fact #1141

Scooter does tarot card readings.

Source:

The Muppet Show. Episode 501, Gene Kelly. January 4, 1981.

[character-tarot]

The Queen of Pentacles represents social acumen, prosperity, domestic security, sensibility, and luxury. Reversed, it indicates social climbing, possessiveness, disloyalty, a frivolous lifestyle, and poor motherhood.

[mynakedlunch]

[numberfiveman]

Busting out all my sick ass magicks to protect against demons rn. If anyone wants a tarot reading that didn't get one before or just wants another then send me your name, two colors, and whatever it is you'd like insight on. I'll do the readings in a couple hours...

[not-available-for-comment]

Obviously Miss Piggy is The Empress

[cdloveprints]

https://cdloveprints.etsy.com/listing/1596747828

[hymen-restoration-project]

Okay. Fine. I'm making this blog because you fucking ASSCLOWNS keep posting shit that's so flagrantly unacceptable that, were it to be posted, would have angry righteous concerned citizens chasing you out of town with fucking pitchforks. I cannot for a god damn second believe any of you are posting in good faith. Take a fucking lesson in humility AND GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE. This is the INTERNET. The shit you post here HAS CONSEQUENCES. I didn't put up with losing my fucking cousin to your stupid bullying just to stand idly by and watch as you make the next kid cry and get off the internet forever. Which in this day and age is almost as fucking bad as physical assault or fucking murder.

FAQ:

Yes trans men go to the gulag. No I do not respect them or treat them any differently than I would cis men who I also do not love or respect. Yes even the "good ones". Yes I think cis men should be giving birth. Yes Dio was a better front man for Sabbath than Ozzy. Childbirth is too painful for women going through it not to be misogynist. Yes trans women have a place in the feminarchy. Non binary people can choose where they want to go. Yes I support women's wrongs. The Cumcopter is a real solution that I do support sincerely.

Okay, now that I've got that shit out of the way. My introduction.

Hi, I'm Bethany/Jacks (if you're cool 😎). I'm not saying my age!!! (you creepy incels need to leave girls alone. Nuff said.) My pronouns are She/Her. I'm a proud Wisconsin girl:) (I LOVE cheese it's so good y'all.)

You can find my brother Dee at @yorhusband

My DNI list is as follows!!!!!

DNI:

Adults over 25 / kids under 12 (preference! Sorry but you gotta be a teen to talk to yours truly :/) | Clowns | Clooners (ClownGooners) | George Clooney (The Arch-Clooner) | The Muppet Joker | MOBA players (except Dee, he's chill I guess.) | Vivziepop fans (UGHGHHHH) | Proshippers (GROSS!!!!!!!! GODDDDD!! Stop fucking kids...) | Homophobes / Transphobes / Alcoholics (Basically just anyone who is or says there my dad.) | Metal fans (Taylor is better. Later loser 👋) | Antishippers (Nuff said.) | Paw Patrol fans/stans | People who smoke. (Including weed 🙄) | Taylor Swift haters (You are the worst fucking people on the fucking planet I hate you as much as Hitler and my dad. And she is gay btw. There isn't anything you can do about it.) | BTS / Kpop fans (nothing against y'all, I just don't like boys) | People who love America (It's the "land" of the "free" for a fucking reason. Read a book.) | Racists | ISIS | Proshippers (Fuck you.) | Kink freaks (Maybe I'm biased but piss is weird) | Pro-life (Fuck you!!! Hands off my youterus) | and finally last but not least. Proshippers.

Anyway now that my DNI is out of the way let me tell you about my interests!!

I like Taylor Swift (obviously), Stardew Valley, puppies, kittens, baking, Animal Crossing, Netflix, tarot cards, witchy stuff, and other stuff too!

[torchickentacos]

Muppets-themed Tarot deck where everything is the same except The Hermit is The Kermit

[littlealienproducts]

Muppet Tarot - Miss Piggy Empress by Toasted Ghost Press

#linocut #muppets #miss piggy #hand stamped #tarot

[kinhaven]

welcome to jinx's kin haven!

hi! i'm mod jinx (any pronouns), and i'm super excited to be running this blog.

this blog is aimed to help fictionkins, irls, and systems by providing a cozy space for everyone's requests!

─────﹒★﹒─────

below is a list of the types of requests i'll accept, though i hope to expand this later down the line! (click links for examples)

⋆ moodboards ⋆ stimboards ⋆ pokemon teams ⋆ pendulum readings ⋆ tarot readings ⋆ recipe kits ⋆ kin calls

─────﹒★﹒─────

below is a list of the media i am most familiar with, but i am 100% open to accepting requests from media outside this list as well!

⋆ arcane ⋆ league of legends ⋆ homestuck ⋆ danganronpa ⋆ the muppets ⋆ sanrio ⋆ fnaf ⋆ love live ⋆ undertale ⋆ mlp ⋆ creepypasta ⋆ overwatch

─────﹒★﹒─────

i don't have any strict guidelines for anything blacklisted, other than the basics. so, nothing racist/homophobic/transphobic and no kink/nsfw. i will not accept requests from non-traumagenic systems. additionally, nothing proship/pedophilic!! gross!!

thank you for reading, and don't be shy about requesting. reblogs are appreciated, toodles!

[mariamakeslemons]

@ghouljams Please help Lilac. She's tired enough to not realize Mom and Dad are fucking

Lilac woke to the sound of slamming. Sitting up, she looks around the dark room worriedly. It sounds like it’s coming from inside the cottage, even though the moon is still high in the sky and the wards are up. Slowly, she slides out of the bed Miss Witch was nice enough to let her use during her stay here. Wringing her hands nervously, Lilac hesitantly opens the door of her bedroom to peer out into the hall.

Nothing is there.

Swallowing nervously, Lilac shuffles over to her desk and moves around her grimoire and the tarot deck that she and Miss Witch are slowly working on together. Eventually, she finds the letter opener that Shop Keeper gave her on one of their more recent shopping trips, one made of iron with little pearls decorating the handle. Grasping it tightly, Lilac goes back to her door. Another series of loud thuds sounds through the cottage, making her jump.

Slowly, Lilac pads down the hall, her hand shaking as she figures out where the sounds are coming from. She freezes upon realizing it’s coming from Miss Witch’s room, fear making her stomach plummet.

“Miss Witch!” Lilac cries, running to the room and slamming the door open. Inside, Price looms over Miss Witch in her bed and both adults give Lilac wide eyed looks.

“Lilac!” Miss Witch cries back, shoving Price off her, “What are you doing up, sweetheart?”

“I-I heard slamming,” she replies, “Are y-you okay? He d-didn’t hurt you, d-did he?”

“No,” Miss Witch assures her, giving that nice smile that soothes Lilac every time, “No, he didn’t hurt me. I’m okay. You can go back to bed, okay?” Lilac hesitates, peering nervously at the frowning fae, before slowly nodding.

“G-Good night, Miss Witch,” Lilac repeats from earlier, before pauseing and adding, “Good n-night, Mister P-Price.”

“…Good night, little witch,” the fae offers back with a sigh. Lilac nods again and steps back out into the hall, but not fast enough to miss Mister Price mumbling, “Now, where were we?” There’s an abrupt sound of a hand against skin that makes Lilac jump and almost turn back, before deciding to trust her mentor.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Soap and Gaz are howling, Roach is wheezing, and Ghost snickers, as they all sit in Price’s bar. Price scowls, holding his whiskey on the rocks against the still red skin on his cheek. Normally, he’d have taken that as his Witch being a brat, but after the little one’s rush to check on her, he can’t really blame her.

“Yuck it up, y’ muppets,” he grumbles, scowling as he lowers his drink enough for a sip before raising it back up to keep the cool glass against his heated skin, “I c’n kick all you out.”

“But ye won’t!” Soap immediately argues with a shit-eating grin. Price grumbles, refusing to acknowledge that he’s even remotely soft on his boys (and his Witch, with the little one becoming important too, but he won’t admit shit). Instead, he sniffs and turns to Soap with a warning look as the younger fae peers over at Moon, again.

“Stop starin’ at m’ bartender,” he scolds, causing Soap to avert his eyes with a pout. Gaz chuckles as Roach claps the catch their attention.

‘You have no one to blame but yourself,’ the little shit signs, ‘Isn’t rule number one to not fuck while a kid’s in the house?’

“Naw,” Ghost pipes in, “That’s rule two for kids in the house. Rule one is no cursin’.”

“Why do I deal with you idiots?” Price groans as Soap and Gaz both start cackling again.

“Because you love us?” Gaz manages to get out between snickers. Price flips him the bird while trying to figure out how to get back into Witch’s bed while her little trainee is still around.

[hcgossips]

That there is someone in control making him a muppet, I'm almost 100% sure. The question is who and why. And, apparently, he might be trying to tell fans what this is, by creating this circus. But, why extend this with fake fan pages and tarot readers, exposing a hooker to public execration?

I know Viscuso has no self respect, that she's used to expose herself, that there is probably much more kinky stuff about her promiscuous life and Character somewhere, which he might be paying not to come out.

One thing that called my attention, at the time, was a video DG did, apparently defending herself against Racism accusations, because it apparently, puts her distant from this shenanigan as if she wanted to show she had nothing to do with this.

First, I don't remember her being massively accused of Racism, at the time, to have the need of a video. These accusations were addressed to Viscuso. And, it seemed she wanted to put fuel to fire.

But, let's say DG was pissed for having been fired, for being replaced by another manager. She could have decided for a vendetta. And, the video was a start. But, then, she wouldn't continue his advisor. Actually, it didn't change a thing and he doesn't seem a guy who likes changes. But, she could have tried to push the situation, so he wouldn't dismiss her completely.

And, the Godsent decided to help him, maybe expecting to go from an ugly duckling to a swan, before his eyes. A dude, as he is, it wouldn't surprise me if he had fallen for that. It is clear, to me, he fell in a trap and was made a fool the moment he signed this PR deal.

I remember a TV show making fun of their first pap walk, as soon as the images came out, as if the criticism was scheduled to happen. I'm sure he wasn't aware of it. But, she surely was. She was chosen by his team as the PR, but, maybe, meticulously arranged to be on his PR list, by someone else.

I don't believe in those tarot readers. They are only diversions for attention, to promote fanfics. His team might even be behind some of those. I really wouldn't lose my time with that. It's a diversion. There's something about this circus Henry and his team are making a lot of effort to keep hidden. And I wanna know what it is.

[muppetmystic]

Greetings! My name is Morgana, she/her, and I am a Muppet psychic proficient in astrology. However, I also have experience in herbalism, numerology, reiki, chakra healing, crystal healing, shamanism, palmistry, divination, aura reading, wicca, and more. I offer my services for free to any who need them, however I'm quite up there in age and easily tire out, so please be patient if it takes a while for me to get to your request. Services I offer: Tarot readings - open horoscope readings - closed Reiki healing - open Commune with spirits - closed Compatibility reading - open Soul Retrieval - closed Animal retrieval - closed Sigil Crafting - closed Chakra Healing - closed Celtic Ogham - closed Norse Rune Readings - closed

Not sure what you want? Ask for a tarot reading for the future or for a particular question you'd like answered. Feel free to send me an ask or message to enquire about any of my services, and you are welcome to reblog them to muppet superhell if you would like to! It helps me get more publicity for this little service of mine anyhow.

More detailed descriptions will be provided soon...

[clandestone]

⸻  matilda  valdivia  ,  a  twenty-seven  year  old  ,  has  survived  another  day  in  red  creek  where  they  have  lived  for  most of her life, aside from her years at college  .  the  observer is  known  for  being  open-minded  and  indecisive  and  is  often  associated  with  mint  tea  on  a  winter  morning,  midnight  drives  to  clear  your  mind,  sitting  in  the  garden  and  watching the  honeybees  buzz  around  the  flowers  and herbs  .  in  a  small  town  where  they  work  as  an  archivist  word  travels  fast  .

the basics

Name: matilda valdivia Nicknames: tillie Faceclaim: ayo edebiri Gender: cis-female, she/her Sexual Orientation: bisexual, biromantic Age: 27 Birthday: July 7, 1997 Occupation: archivist at the red creek library Marital Status: single Pets: tbd   Residence: her father's home (tbd) Positive traits:open-minded, intelligent, good-natured, deeply loyal, eccentric Negative traits: indecisive, shy, contrary, discontented

aesthetics

Inspiration: lilia calderu (agatha all along), fox mulder (x-files), gonzo (of muppets fame), more tbd Animal: fox Tarot Card: the magician Zodiac: cancer  Mineral: labradorite Song: Because Dreaming Costs Money, My Dear - Mitski

Backstory

There was a time when Matilda did not know her father, or the sleepy town of Red Creek, but anything prior to her arrival has been lost to time. Every early memory in her head is wrapped in the warmth of her home, untouched by the horrors that terrorized Red Creek in the first years of her life. To have your first memories be coated with love- what else could you hope for?  Matilda was always destined to be a little eccentric, and as early as she can remember, she was drawn to witchcraft. Her passion was centered in tarot and protection magic, but she was fascinated by every aspect of the craft. She was a outcast in many ways, even if she didn't realize it until she was a bit older. It never bothered her much, and she always had an innate ability to melt into the scenery, to be neither seen nor heard. She was able to escape high school unscathed and generally well-liked, if not a bit lonely. College was the light at the end of the tunnel. A quiet social life meant she had a great deal of time to spend on her studies, and a small class size made it easy enough to be valedictorian. A full-ride to the University of Michigan was her ticket to the wider world, and she thrived in the academic environment. A solid group of friends kept her supported and busy- with one of them even joining her in New York City for grad school.  The decision to move home was not made lightly. It wasn’t that she disliked Red Creek- she just loved the city so much more. It was her fault, though, picking a profession that was less than lucrative. Maybe if she’d studied law, or finance, or anything other than history and archival studies, she’d be able to support herself in the big city- but she’d followed her passions instead. The choice was made for her when an archivist position opened at the library.  Two years have passed since her return, and being home hasn’t been as difficult as she anticipated. It was different to be in Red Creek as an adult, more tolerable. And more than that, she had missed her dad. For years, she’d worried about him being alone, lamented the hours she spent on FaceTime with him, rather than face-to-face. It’s been nice to be home, but she can’t deny she’s getting antsy.  Around town, you can find her at the library, stopping into Daisy’s Diner some nights after work, or at Redstone Bar on Friday nights. She spends a great deal of time at Sisters of the Moon, just hanging out or picking up supplies for her own witchy activities. Her happy place is in her little garden, and on sunny days it is not uncommon to see her laying amongst the explosion of greenery on a picnic blanket with a book and a glass of wine. 

Wanted Connections

Friends from high school, people she’s known since childhood. Probably a little eccentric themselves. People she can go on drives with, just for the sake of getting out of town.  A budding romance, someone that is making her question how important it really is to leave Red Creek. I think it could be fun if this was someone who she didn’t really interact with in high school, but they’ve gotten close now that they’re adults.  Matilda grew up doing casual witchcraft, and once got in trouble for bringing tarot cards to her elementary school. She pulled the death card for a kid, and they thought that meant they were going to die. No amount of reassurance changed their mind, and she was never allowed to bring her cards to school again. Bring me the kid she accidentally traumatized. Fellow witchcraft doers!! People she can be unfiltered around, especially when it comes to her more off-the-wall beliefs. her adoptive father, the person she ultimately returned to red creek for. truly a wholesome, supportive connection in a sea of horrors (a WC on the main) A college friend! Someone who came to visit her in Red Creek, and just never left. It doesn't seem like they're going to, either. (a WC on the main)

[cdloveprints]

https://cdloveprints.etsy.com/listing/1603646170