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Mutter (Chapter Two)
Summary: He always did this. Got attached to the first person to show him the slightest bit of affection. Even the betas he hooked up with. He had to keep their trysts as impersonal as possible, because otherwise he would fall in love with them. It was why he never took them back to fuck in his quarters, why he never removed his mask. He hadn’t kissed a woman in years, not since the older beta prostitute who had taken his virginity. She’d pitied him when he cried against her breasts as he fucked into her clumsily and called her mummy. He’d fallen for her right then, promised he would take care of her and treat her well and take her away from that life. She’d given him a sad smile and said he was a sweet boy, but had rejected him nonetheless. He’d paid her twice the agreed upon amount and never saw her again, burning with shame as he ran out of the dirty motel room. Word Count: 4471 Warnings: mentioned smut, mentions of past domestic/sexual abuse, mentions of past prostitution, König has mommy issues and also self-esteem issues and also intimacy issues (he can still get it tho), *** means POV switch, and -*- means timeskip but no POV switch. Notes The next chapter of Dove isn't ready to be published yet, so I figured I'd update this fic with the last of the prewritten chapters I have for it while y'all wait. I still have no beta for this fic so all SPAG and consistency errors are my own, feel free to point them out. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! AO3, Masterlist
The following two weeks progressed painfully slowly for König.
The only time he ever got to take his mask off was when he was in the shower, now. He found himself lingering until the water ran cold just so he could enjoy the freedom of it.
That wasn't the only reason his showers had grown longer, though.
He’d tried to have Lelia shop for a few things online, but she’d seemed to think it was some sort of trade—if he bought her proper clothes, she would have to let him fuck her. He’d tried to explain again that that wasn't the case, but she’d only grown confused and agitated. It almost made him think she wanted him to fuck her—if it weren’t for the fear souring her scent when she’d dropped to her knees in front of him after he handed her his phone with an online clothes shop pulled up.
He'd had to retreat to the shower after that to fuck his fist, the other stuffed in his mouth to muffle his cries of pleasure. The sight of her kneeling in front of him, wearing those pretty pink pajamas, looking up at him with big, innocent eyes—it was too much. He’d been so ashamed afterwards, especially when he realized the scent of his arousal had leaked out of the toilet and into his quarters proper. Lelia had been hiding under the blankets in her nest when he’d come out, clearly trying to escape the overpowering pheromones. He’d stuttered an embarrassed apology and fled the room.
He hadn’t tried to get her to pick out new clothes again.
Instead, he’d requested some from the program. They had arrived that same day, three plain, white, long sleeved shirts, and three plain, white pairs of joggers. They were all made of the same rough, itchy cotton. Lelia had been unable to hide her disgust at the sight of them, though she’d quickly tried to wipe the amusing expression away.
She’d worn the clothes for one day. Her miserable scent had made him so sick he’d simply thrown them away that night without saying anything. She hadn’t protested, and the next day she’d been back to wearing her comfortable lingerie-pajamas. And König had gone back to suffering from a permanent hard on.
He’d debated going to see Isa or one of his usual betas again, but remembering Lelia’s small, stuttering voice admitting that it hurt her omega to smell someone else on him was enough to turn him off from the idea.
It was frustrating, how she had been forced into his life and yet was too sweet for him to properly resent her for it. Because as much as her continued fear of him hurt, she also kept making his bed and cleaning his boots every day, no matter how many times he told her she didn't have to. Though he’d never been particularly messy, she kept his room spick and span, all clothes folded or hung up, not a single speck of dust anywhere. She even lined up the few trinkets he had on his desk, and after seeing how he’d fiddled with them once while he did paperwork, she began to leave them in more… creative positions. He would come back to find them all in a circle, as if having an intense meeting, or staggered like they were on a battlefield. A new scene every time, and it never failed to make him smile beneath his hood.
She was adorable. And König was having a harder and harder time telling himself he didn’t want her.
He always did this. Got attached to the first person to show him the slightest bit of affection. Even the betas he hooked up with. He had to keep their trysts as impersonal as possible, because otherwise he would fall in love with them. It was why he never took them back to fuck in his quarters, why he never removed his mask. He hadn’t kissed a woman in years, not since the older beta prostitute who had taken his virginity. She’d pitied him when he cried against her breasts as he fucked into her clumsily and called her mummy. He’d fallen for her right then, promised he would take care of her and treat her well and take her away from that life. She’d given him a sad smile and said he was a sweet boy, but had rejected him nonetheless.
He’d paid her twice the agreed upon amount and never saw her again, burning with shame as he ran out of the dirty motel room.
Even the memory made his face heat up with humiliation and self disgust. König knew he was pathetic. Getting better at sex and having numerous women happily bounce on his cock—without being paid to—didn’t change that. Especially when none of them wanted anything more.
The situation with Lelia was different, though. There was little he could do to distance himself from her, with her living in his quarters. And that the kindness she showed him had nothing to do with sex only made it more difficult to ignore.
He sighed as he stood outside the door of his room, two trays of food in hand. It was lunch time, and König had quickly realized that if he didn’t bring Lelia food, she simply wouldn’t eat, as she seemed to have no desire to leave her nest, let alone his room. That was for the best, he knew, it wouldn't be safe for her to wander around base herself—but he hadn't thought about the fact that he would have to feed her until he heard her pass out in the toilet while brushing her teeth on her third day with him. When he’d rushed her to medical, he was told she was malnourished, and when she’d calmly informed him upon waking up that she hadn’t eaten since being assigned to him, he’d been horrified. The look the nurse gave him—not Isa, thankfully, though he expected she’d hear about his failures as an Alpha soon enough—made him feel far smaller than his 208 centimetres.
He’d plied Lelia with double portions and extra desserts for several days in apology, giving up his own favorite treats for her. She’d been suspicious at first, but after the third meal, she’d given him a tiny, hesitant smile and saved him the last few bites of vanilla pudding.
She was still afraid of him though. Not as much, and not always, but sometimes the sour scent of it would spike, and she'd hide under the blankets in her nest, shaking. He tended to leave her alone during those times, finding that was the most effective way to get her fear to abate. He could smell it now, leaking out from under the crack in his door, but he couldn't leave without dropping off her lunch, at least. So he quietly opened it, setting her tray down on his desk. He was already turning to go back to the mess hall when he heard it.
“Please… Andrew, s-stop… n-no, don’t… please… please… h-hurts!”
König froze, head swiveling to stare hard at the desk, listening to the terrified whimpers and sniffles that came from under it. He only hesitated for a second before his tray was set down next to Lelia’s and he was kneeling on the ground, peering into her nest. She was asleep, eyes squeezed tightly shut as tears streamed down her face, pretty mouth downturned, bottom lip wobbling. She twitched violently, as if she was trying to fight someone off, but was being restrained. Pinned.
Lelia cried out in pain, neck tilting to expose her scent gland. For the first time, it wasn’t covered by her hair, and König’s stomach dropped as he noticed the angry looking red scars across it. Mating bites that had been rejected. Dozens of them layered upon each other without a single ounce of care.
Omegas could reject an Alpha’s claim on them, even if they’d been bitten, but it was extremely painful, and left terrible scars, both physical and mental. It was also seen as quite taboo, with most omegas being deemed undesirable if they did.
That was why it was so rare, and omegas often ended up in abusive relationships. They were too scared of the consequences of rejecting even a forced mating. Of course, while it usually had to be a conscious choice on the omega’s part, sometimes the mating was so traumatizing that their body would automatically reject the bond. If that happened, then the Alpha who’d bitten them would never be able to claim that omega, no matter how many times they tried.
And clearly, someone had tried. Lelia had been violated over and over and over again.
Suddenly, König felt foolish for taking her fear personally. He remembered that distant look in her eyes the first day, the one he’d known spoke of trauma. But he just—he hadn’t thought it was that sort of trauma. Why would she have volunteered for a program like this if she had been abused so terribly? Surely, she knew the risks of it happening again…
Perhaps she didn't have any other options, a voice in his head said, cold and logical. An unmated omega with so many rejected claim scars… no one would want her.
“Oh, Schatz,” he said softly, reaching into her nest to pet her hair soothingly. She turned into his hand, still asleep, and breathed in deeply. He projected his most calming scent, and she began to relax, the little furrow between her brows smoothing out. “I am not like him. I will not hurt you.”
I want you, he thought but didn’t say. There was no use denying it anymore. He was smitten with the sweet little omega that had been forced upon him. He sighed. He would be patient. He would go slow, and keep showing her that he wasn’t a threat. And perhaps, if he proved what a good Alpha he could be, she would want him too, someday.
***
Something was different about the Colonel.
First, that he no longer wanted her to call him that or Sir. He’d tensed when she’d said the latter that night as she thanked him for dropping off lunch while she was asleep, even if the thought that someone had been in the same room as her while she was sleeping made her skin crawl.
“You may call me König,” he told her after a moment. When she'd just blinked at him in surprise, he reached up under his ever present mask to scratch his chin, radiating awkwardness. “Please.”
König was the strangest Alpha she had ever met.
He was also the nicest, which was perhaps part of the oddness. Lelia had learned the hard way that nice Alphas only existed in story books and films, not real life.
But König fed her regularly—at least after the first few days—and brought her books that she stared longingly at but refused to touch. He’d even tried to get her new clothes, and not just the terrible, uncomfortable joggers and t-shirts that the program provided for free. But when Lelia had tried to repay him, as she knew was expected of her, he’d freaked out and gone off to the shower to touch himself instead. Lelia wasn’t sure how she’d messed that up, but she’d received no nice clothes, and so she’d gotten the message loud and clear that she had. She hadn’t been so forward since, just waited for the day to come when he yanked her out of her nest, threw her onto the bed and had his way with her.
Except a whole two weeks had gone by and that day hadn’t come. And now her constant fear was replaced by constant confusion. Even Rodolfo, who had been far nicer than Andrew— despite whoring her out to the club’s customers—hadn’t given her more than a day to adjust before taking her. He hadn't tried to claim her, though, as he already had a wife. She was just his favorite toy on the side.
Lelia hadn’t minded that. She’d played the part of wife once before. She had no interest in doing so again, for anyone.
That was why she had been pleased when König had asserted that he didn't want her—at least once he’d agreed to accept her anyway, that was. She would have been sent back to Andrew if he didn’t. But instincts aside, living with an Alpha that didn't want to try and claim her, even if he still used her, was ideal. Especially if she was good enough that he treated her decently.
But König had thrown a wrench in her plans by categorically refusing to fuck her, because she was afraid of him. That had never stopped an Alpha before, in her experience. In fact, it had only ever made Andrew more aroused.
Hence the constant confusion.
As she and König ate dinner in silence—her sitting at his desk, since she didn't want to risk spilling food in her nest and having to wash out her scent, and him sitting on his bed—she watched him. He still didn’t take his mask off all the way, only lifting it enough to reveal his mouth with each bite. He had a strong jaw dusted in light-colored stubble and several scars. And, to Lelia’s surprise, there were the little metal rings in his bottom lip.
“Did those hurt?” She asked, causing König to freeze, hood dropping back down as he looked up at her with shocked blue eyes. She supposed that was fair. She had initiated conversation with him approximately three times since they'd met. She wasn’t sure why she was doing so now. Perhaps his oddness was rubbing off on her.
“What?” He croaked, and she touched her fingers to her lip, rubbing it. König’s ocean blue eyes followed the movement intently for a moment before he snapped himself out of it. “The piercings? Nein, not really. The tattoos were far worse.”
Lelia tilted her head to the side curiously.
“You have tattoos?”
König chuckled, eyes crinkling, and it was Lelia’s turn to be shocked. She had never heard him laugh before. Not truly. Just the short huffs of amusement he let out whenever he saw the formations she left his figurines in. She always smiled to herself under her blankets when she heard it. She was a good omega, even if she wasn’t his omega.
“Ja, Schatz. I have tattoos. Very many,” he answered, setting his tray on the bed to roll up his sleeves. Lelia's eyes widened a bit. His forearms—which were about as thick as her thighs—were absolutely covered in ink.
“Wow,” Lelia said, leaning in a little bit, entranced by all the different designs. She reached out without thinking, a single finger lightly tracing the outline of a wolf on his right arm. König’s breath hitched, and Lelia quickly withdrew. “Do they go all the way up?”
König didn’t respond for a moment, and Lelia worried she had messed up again, ruining the fragile peace they’d created. But then he nodded.
“Ja,” he repeated, beginning to fiddle with the hem of his shirt, seeming nervous. Lelia thought his occasional bouts of shyness were cute—a word she never thought she’d attribute to an Alpha. She chalked it up to just another welcome symptom of his oddness. “Would you… would you like to see?”
Lelia hesitated, but then nodded. It wasn't like König needed a ruse to take her, if that was what he was going to do. Perhaps this was his way of asking if she wanted it? If so, the answer was… complicated. There had been a budding feeling of emptiness inside her ever since she’d been taken into KORTAC’s custody, and was no longer being fucked every night. She had never wanted what had happened to her, never wanted Andrew or Rodolfo or any of his customers. Had never enjoyed it, either. But her omega didn’t seem to understand that. It just knew it wasn’t being bred anymore, and it ached for a suitable Alpha to fill her cunt with his knot and her belly with his pups.
Perhaps König would even be gentle. He hadn’t forced himself on her, after all.
König seemed caught off guard by her answer, clearly having expected her to say no. But then with one graceful move, he tugged his shirt off, revealing his broad, thick chest. He was so wide, his strong muscles covered in a healthy layer of fat, and he was covered in tattoos all over his torso. He wasn’t particularly hairy, with most of it hidden by the black ink, but Lelia’s eyes caught on a trail of red hair on his belly that disappeared into his sleep pants, and her pupils dilated.
Suitable Alpha! Her omega practically screamed at her as a wave of unexpected, instinctual arousal nearly bowled her over. It almost felt like she was in preheat. Mate! Breed! Submit!
Lelia blushed. But when she saw König react to her scent, his eyes darkening and the already sizable bulge in his trousers—which she carefully avoided looking at at all times, and yet could always see because it was just that large—grew bigger, she whined and bared her throat to him, trembling with a mix of fear and anticipation.
“Schatz,” König said in his rough, accented voice. Not for the first time, she wondered what the German word meant. “You do not want this.”
She was unsure if he was trying to remind her or himself of that fact. Either way, it only made her tilt her head further. König took a massive step towards her, closing the distance between them—and then stopped. His eyes were trained on her neck, and though she couldn't see the expression on his face, it was obvious from his scent when his arousal abruptly faded.
She was confused as to why until he reached a hand out and brushed the calloused pad of his thumb against her scent gland. Lelia whimpered in pain as her numerous failed claiming marks suddenly stung sharply, and her face paled with shame. She couldn't believe she had forgotten, even just for a second.
König immediately pulled his hand back as if burned, and Lelia’s eyes grew hot with incoming tears.
“Go to your nest, omega,” he ordered, voice deeper than normal. Lelia didn’t have to be told twice. She dived under the desk, dragging the chair in front of it to block his view of her, and then pulled her blankets over her head, burying her face in the pillowcase she’d stolen from him to try and hide her tears. Her omega was howling inside her, despondent at being rejected once again. And the emptiness only grew worse.
There was the sound of fabric rustling, and then hurried footsteps. The slam of the door followed, and Lelia was alone. She was always alone.
An hour passed, and Lelia’s omega was inconsolable, only growing more distressed by her Alpha’s König's absence. Lelia tried to ignore it, but her instincts finally drove her out of her nest and into König’s bed. She instantly calmed as she was surrounded by his scent, but quickly grew restless at how exposed she was. She began to drag her pillows and blankets into the bed, remaking her nest inside it. She even retrieved one of König’s shirts from his closet, and one of the less fragile figurines from his desk. She clutched the toy soldier between her breasts, and curled up in her new nest. Only then did she stop crying.
***
When König returned to his quarters in the middle of the night, he was covered in sweat. He’d been punching a sandbag for the last five hours straight, trying to work out all his anger and lingering arousal.
He was only halfway successful.
He found himself imagining that the bag he was breaking the skin of his knuckles on was the Andrew Lelia had mentioned in her dreams earlier. He didn't know what the man looked like, didn’t know who he was or what he did for a living. All he knew was his name and that he had hurt Lelia terribly. As far as König was concerned, that made him the scum of the earth, and he would delight in ending his miserable existence.
Rolling his sore shoulders, König entered his room quietly, not wanting to wake Lelia. But his steps faltered when he noticed the pile of pillows and sheets atop his bed, and the familiar, tiny blanket lump in the middle of them. König breathed in deeply, and he frowned beneath his hood at the lingering scent of an omega in distress, and salty tears. Lots of them.
Closing the door quietly behind him, he approached the bed, carefully peeling back the blanket to reveal Lelia’s tearstained face, slack with sleep. Her lips were parted slightly, soft, breathy snores escaping her. He’d never heard her snore before. Though in all fairness, she never fell asleep before he did at night, and she was always up before him, too. This was the second time in as many weeks had actually caught her sleeping, and both times just today. It made his Alpha want to growl in satisfaction that she was finally beginning to trust him enough not to wake up the second she smelled him. And with the sight of her in his bed, there was no holding the deep, rumbling noise back.
Still asleep, Lelia bared her neck in response, showing off her scarred scent gland again. König strangled the wave of renewed anger that tried to rear up. It would wake her, and she would no doubt be terrified to see his massive form looming over her. He didn't need her screaming and making everyone on base think he was abusing her.
It did make him want to scent her, though. Properly. To brush his nose right against her scarred flesh and inhale deeply. To savor that heady mix of florals and sugar...
He would let her scent him in return, of course. He was desperate to feel her so close to him. To feel her sit in his lap again and press her nose just below his ear, pretty face buried in his tattooed neck. He wanted to ask her what he smelt like, to her. If she liked it.
He shook the thoughts from his head and stepped away, heading towards the toilet to take a shower. The sound would wake her up, and by the time he was done, both she and her nest would be back under his desk, he was sure.
And he was right. When he came back out, he could hear from her heartbeat that Lelia was awake, and the pile of blankets had been moved back to their regular place. She was sitting up in the middle of her nest, big doe eyes peering at him over the edge of her blanket.
His gaze met hers for a long moment, but no words were exchanged, and he finally looked away, moving back to his bed. He paused when he noticed that his pillow was missing its case, and his most comfortable blanket—oversized, made specifically for a man as tall as him—was gone. He glanced back at Lelia, who was still watching him, and realized that his blanket was wrapped around her.
His Alpha let out a deep, pleased grumble at the sight, knowing she would be covered in his scent now. Lelia twitched, but her scent lightened a little bit, the bitter notes of her sadness fading slightly.
“I am sorry,” he sighed, sitting down on the floor, a metre away from her nest, ducking his head so he could see her. “For earlier. I did not mean to make you upset.”
“It was just instincts,” she answered after a long moment of silence. “That’s why I was sad when you... Not even a tainted omega like me handles rejection by their Al— by an Alpha well.”
“You are not tainted, Schatz,” König responded, swift and firm, heart skipping a beat at her slip up. Lelia looked away from him, and against his better judgment, he reached out, lightly grasping her chin and turning her back to him so she could see how serious he was. Her skin was soft and warm under his fingertips. “And I did not reject you. I stopped myself from taking advantage of you. You owe me nothing. I will not take any woman who does not truly want it.”
“But… you’re my— I mean, not mine, but I’m… your… omega, in a way,” Lelia answered haltingly. “I’ve been assigned to you to meet your needs, to keep you happy and content so you can be a more efficient soldier. That’s what the program director said, anyway…”
“This program is ridiculous,” König stated flatly. “I do not need an omega to be a good soldier.”
Seeing Lelia’s shoulders hunch as she curled in on herself, he rushed to continue.
“But that is not why I dislike it. It preys on vulnerable omegas like you. Omegas who have been hurt,” he said softly, his hand moving to cup her cheek gently. His palm practically covered half her face, but she leaned into his touch nonetheless, and the Alpha in him preened. “Omegas who do not think they can say no.”
“It always hurts more when I say no,” Lelia admitted, whisper-quiet. Her voice was resigned, accepting. This was simply a fact of her reality. It made König’s heart squeeze tightly in his chest, and he fought the urge to pull her into his arms and never let go.
“I will not hurt you for saying no,” he told her, trying to impress the sincerity of his words into her brain. “I will not deprive you of comforts for not giving yourself to me. I will not mistreat you for any reason.”
A complicated look flashed through Lelia’s eyes in less than a second. He couldn’t name every emotion, but he did recognize a hint of skepticism—right alongside hope.
Little steps, he reminded himself.
König let his hand drop from her face, standing up, joints popping. He groaned quietly at the faint ache, a product of his size and his years of military service. He was young for a Colonel, but what he lacked in age he made up for in brutal efficiency in the field—a fact which had left him with plenty of lingering scars and pains.
“Try to sleep, Schatz,” he told her softly as she peered up at him with those big eyes of hers. He felt like she could see right through to someone’s soul with them. Like she could see his. “I am taking you out tomorrow. You have been stuck in this room for far too long.”
#konig fanfiction#sub konig#konig call of duty#konig cod#konig smut#könig fanfiction#könig smut#könig cod#könig modern warfare#könig call of duty#könig#könig angst#konig angst#call of duty#call of duty fic#call of duty fanfic#Mutter#Leliaverse
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Rammstein + mv/song meanings (or my interpretation of it, at least...)
part 1
#did i get it right??#wrote amerika instead of america and had keine lust to redo this gif sorry haha#rammstein#rammsteinedit#rammstein gifs#du hast#deutschland#mein teil#links 2 3 4#mutter#amerika#edit
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In Erinnerung an Garfield - Ihn hatte noch meine Mama auf Ihrem Schoß - beide sind schon lange über die Regenbogenbrücke gegangen ❤️❤️❤️🌈🌈🌈
#drosengarfield#cat#drosenkatzen#katze#feline#miau#meow#my cat#cute#cats#hauskatze#unvergessen#regenbogenbrücke#rainbowbridge#i love my cats more than people#cats on tumblr#catlover#mutter#mama
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Cat and Kittens by Walter Frederick Osborne (1889, pastel on paper)
#art#artwork#kunst#kunstwerk#walter frederick osborne#artist#künstler#animals#tiere#cats#katzen#cat#kaze#kittens#kätzchen#baby cat#babykatze#mutter#mother#babies#babys#milk#milch#drinking#trinken#basket#korb#famous paintings#pastel#pastel painting
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Cox Arena, San Diego, 30.09.2001 © Tim Mosenfelder x
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RAMMSTEIN ALBUM STAMPS!!
maybe I'll make blinkies later too ^.^
#rammstein#album#herzeleid#sehnsucht#mutter#liebe ist fur alle da#unnamed album#album 7#zeit#till lindemann#richard zk#paul landers#oliver riedel#cristoph schneider#flake lorenz#rentry#carrd#spotify#moodboard
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He clasped his hand to my wrist and my mind filled with light. All I saw was Mal’s face, all I felt was his body—above me, around me, an awkward rhythm at first, then slow and steady as the beat of the rain. It was all we needed. It was all we would ever have.
Ruin and Rising- Chapter 16 (Leigh Bardugo)
Rein, raus Rein, raus ...
Look, I love Rammstein, but Malyen's exactly the kind of dudebro, who'd listen to them to feel more manly and this song came to my mind upon re-reading this scene.
I'm the rider, you are the horse I get on, we start riding You moan, I tell you An elephant in the eye of a needle In, out In, out In, out In, out I'm the rider, you are the horse I have the key, you have the lock The door opens, I enter Life can be so magnificent In, out In, out In, out In, out Deeper, deeper Say it, say it loudly Deeper, deeper I feel good inside your skin And a thousand elephants break out The ride was short, I must apologize I get off, don't have time I have to go to, the other horses Want to get ridden as well In, out In
youtube
Even the ending corresponds with what I think Malina will eventually turn back to.
#Grishaverse#R&R Chapter 16#Alina Starkov#Malyen Oretsev#parallels&references#Rammstein#music#Mutter#Rein Raus#grishanalyticritical#Grisha trilogy#Ruin and Rising#V#books#quotes#Leigh Bardugo#anti Malina#Youtube
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#oliverriedel#paullanders#christophschneider#tilllindemann#rammstein#richardzkruspe#christianlorenz#flakelorenz#herzeleid#sehnsucht#mutter#reisereise#rosenrot#lifad#mig#festivals
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Hallo!
I don’t know, if you’ve had this question already many times before, so feel free to ignore this.
I admire your way of answering asks every time so thoroughly, it’s a delight to read. 😊 I thought I’d ask something myself, too.
I was wondering, what is your favourite song from each Rammstein album and why? Also what is your favourite remix and why?
I hope you have a nice week! 🌸
Hi 👋🏻
That's a really lovely ask, thank you so much! I'm glad you find joy in my answers, I try to put at least some sense into my ramblings 🙂↕️
And thanks a lot for these questions, you're always very welcome to ask things! Had to take some time to ponder about my decisions, but here we go:
1. Herzeleid
Here, my decision was made very quick. 'Du riechst so gut' has a very significant meaning for me, being my first proper Rammstein song 20 years ago. The lyrics have a wonderful gloomy 19th century poetry aesthetic to it, very haunting and yet so beautifully worded - the line 'Der Wahnsinn ist nur eine schmale Brücke, die Ufer sind Vernunft und Trieb' is still one of my favourite lyrics Till has ever written. Very close second place would be 'Heirate mich' 🤍
2. Sehnsucht
'Eifersucht'. All the way. My all-time favourite song by Rammstein, great, somehow very taunting (like the "come get me if you have the guts, destroy me if you can"-vibe) lyrics, incredibly powerful sound, and the bass. I feel it in my chest when I listen this song loud enough, which is exactly how I love to experience music.
3. Mutter
This took a while to choose. Mutter is not one of my favourite albums even though it holds some very classic Rammstein songs, but I just don't really feel this album. I'd say 'Adios', since the song has such a great drive to it and I enjoy the guitar solo immensely.
4. Reise Reise
If you'd ask me for my favourite a few months ago, I would have very much voted for 'Mein Teil'. Yet I have to admit that my attention shifted towards 'Stein um Stein'. It's a very dark and haunting song, and the inherent menace and sadness of the song moves me deeply. Richard once described it as a very tragic song about a man who knows no other way to keep the love of his life but to lock her up so she stays with him, and I think about that a lot.
5. Rosenrot
Oh, this album, I love it more and more each day. While I enjoy 'Benzin' and 'Zerstören' immensely, I gravitate definitely towards 'Ein Lied' when it comes to favourites. It's like a tender love song to the fans, a reassurance that the band is there for us when things aren't going well, and honestly: in my personal case, that's true. Rammstein gives me so much strength and comfort. 🤍
6. Liebe ist für alle da
Admittedly my least favourite album, I just can't get into it - there are only 2-3 songs that I find appealing at most. A significant exception, however, is 'Haifisch.' I especially love the lyrics about solidarity even in difficult times, and the song held great meaning for me last year, as I'm sure it did for others in the fandom. It's a song for perseverance and unity 🤲🏻
7. Untitled
This one was very difficult for me to decide! 'Deutschland' is incredibly important and lyric-wise as well as musically genius, 'Radio' is perfect for dancing and holds a significant meaning for me when it comes to the lyrics, but in the end, I choose 'Weit weg'. The synthesizer has a truly hypnotic sound, and the underlying sadness combined with the stalking theme gives the song a very captivating aura.
8. Zeit
Here, I truly can't decide, so for once, I'll list two songs: 'Schwarz' is a song I love a lot, such a melancholic and yet theatrical feel to it, as well as 'Armee der Tristen'. This is a song I feel in my heart, plain and simple.
9. Raritäten
Technically, that's also an album 😌 I'm bringing this up to mention my incredibly beloved 'Wilder Wein'. This song feels like a blend of a dark fairytale world, with elements from the Nibelungenlied and 'The Mists of Avalon' - I'm probably exaggerating here, but as a fantasy/history enthusiast, the song feels as if Till wrote it personally for me :')
10. Remixes
I have to admit, I don’t listen much with the remixes, as most of them don’t really appeal to me. However, I do like the 'Haifisch' remix by Olsen Involtini that served as a sort of closer at concerts, so I have warm post-concert feelings when I listen to it, as well as the Twocolors remix of 'Angst.' This remix leans a bit into the direction of dark/acid techno, which I very much enjoy.
Thank you again for your ask, this was fun! 🤍
Tagging my lovely @wizzardclown and @m---e---l to also share their favourites, since they had to endure my rambling about it this weekend 🙂↕️
#rammstein#ask#favourite songs#Herzeleid#Sehnsucht#Mutter#Reise Reise#Rosenrot#lifad#untitled#zeit#maria rambles
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#kaputt#gebrochenes herz#liebe#vertrauen gebrochen#gebrochen#falsche menschen#gebrochene seele#ich bin so müde#ich kann nicht mehr#ich will nicht mehr#komisch#krank#ich fühle mich so leer#mutig#mein leben#Mutter#Vater#mauer#weinen#gefühle#gefuehle#weh getan#nicht genug#probleme#schützen
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Liebes Tagebuch…
Es wird wieder schwer. Nach den vielen guten Momenten, wird es wieder schwer. Bin ich alleine damit? Sicherlich nicht. Aber ich höre nichts von den anderen, möchte mich austauschen….mitteilen…hörst du mich? Ich spüre eine unfassbare Leere in mir. Wie ein schwarzes Loch. So schwer. Als würde es meine ganze Energie einsaugen. Wo will ich hin? Was ist los mit mir? So viele Fragen und doch kenne ich die Antwort. Du hast mich zu dem gemacht, was ich heute bin. Ein Mensch der verstanden, gesehen werden möchte. Ein Mensch der die Heilung sucht und immer wieder an seine Grenzen stößt. Gute und schlechte Tage hat. Wie soll das mein Leben lang werden? Werde ich meine inneren Dämonen besiegen? Werden sie mich verlassen? Verlassen werden sie mich sicherlich nicht. Mir wird immer gesagt, dass ich einfach besser mit ihnen auskommen werde. Und das ist irgendwie auch so. Trotzdem wünsche ich mir nichts sehnlicher, als dass sie verschwinden würden. Die Vorstellung wie es wäre Leichtigkeit zu verspüren. Mich nicht immer zu hinterfragen. Mein gegenüber nicht immer zu hinterfragen. Ja du hast mich zu diesem Menschen gemacht, indem du mich nicht geschützt hast. Du bist der Damon, der mich jeden Tag heimsucht. Und ich weiß nicht, ob ich dir jemals verzeihen kann….Mutter.
#cptbs#kptbs#psychischer schmerz#dämonen#missbrauch#angst#psychische gesundheit#innerer kampf#mutter#kindheit#komplexe ptbs#ptbs#alleine#traumatisiert#kaputt#verloren#verletzt
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Die Heilige Familie in der Werkstatt von Joseph von Pietro Pezzati (Öl auf Leinwand)
#kunst#kunstwerk#art#artwork#pietro pezzati#künstler#artist#religion#religiöse kunst#religious art#heilige familie#holy family#maria#mary#jesus#christ#christus#jesus christ#baby#jospeh#mother#father#mutter#vater#eltern#parents#werkstatt#bibel#bible#glaube
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Anne yemeğimi Nihayet yiyebilirmiyim , bekle biraz... görüyorsun Instagram çalışmıyor,önce birkaç resim çekip paylasmalıyım sonra yiyebilirsin....!! :))
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I really REALLY liked Mutter, may we have some more 🥺
Thank you so much!! It means a lot to know that people like my fics, especially my LC ones as those tend not to get much love. Chapter Three for Mutter is in the works, but I mainly write it when inspiration strikes, as my main project is Dove. That being said, I did just work a bit on Mutter recently, and things are heating up between König and Lelia 😏
#Leliaverse#Mutter#konig fanfiction#konig call of duty#konig cod#könig modern warfare#könig fanfiction#könig cod#könig call of duty#könig#könig x oc
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