#my 1 task of the day: grocery store and weed store

[melancholyfleurs]

todays outfit :)

[chaoticsaltbean]

Muddy Footprints

Prompt: You find strange, muddy footprints leading up to your front door. ( https://www.writtenwordmedia.com/500-writing-prompts-to-help-beat-writers-doubt/#1 )

I felt the ache in my bones from spending my day getting groceries. A necessary evil in life, unfortunately. More so now that I could no longer afford grocery delivery. Everything about the process felt worse. Where before, I used to buy what I felt I needed, now that I spent the evening before price comparing and couponing and rebate fishing and planning out meals and the fastest path from store to store through the city. The next day became the actual task of shopping. Today, it took me five hours to get it all done, and that was with only a brief stop for some coffee. Some coffee I really shouldn’t have splurged on.

And, of course, I struggled with the temptation of picking up food on my way home again. Another splurge I couldn’t actually afford, and so I chose the simple option of not. Which meant on top of the exhaustion and frustration of shopping, I now had to cook for myself. A lunch, and later a dinner. Maybe I could make something extra large and have it carry over for two meals…

I pulled my keys out of my purse as I crawled out of my car. They jingled as I made my way to the front door and attempted to untangle them. How keys got looped through the ring and couldn’t come back out, I have no idea. Yet another unending struggle of life…

I came to a stop at the front door, shaking the keys with unrelented violence to make them undo the mess they got themselves into. It was in that moment I noticed the mud below the step up into the house. I took a small step back to examine it better. It dried at the edges and seemed to leak from beneath the bottom crack of the door. In stepping back, I noticed another spot of mud, also drying at the edges. This one looked like a shoe print, like someone with mud coated shoes carelessly deposited it on my concrete walkway.

I turned, glancing back down the way I’d come, and sure enough, the footprints went all the way from my garden bed to the door. The garden bed I spaded yesterday, no less. Following them, I headed back to the garden bed. I hadn’t watered it since pulling the weeds and spading the soil, nor had it rained. Yet not a single footprint seemed to flatten the soil or make a mark anywhere in the fresh dirt.

No footsteps appeared to originate from anywhere else, either. It seemed like the person mysteriously coated their shoes in mud, then walked along the cement path to my front door. And possibly inside.

I let out a soft sigh as I studied the green door that led into my house. A part of me knew I should call the cops, make sure no one got into my home, but the footsteps went right up to the door. A door I’m confident I locked. So, the logical first step to me was to try to the door.

I made my way toward it, my heart rate speeding up. It pounded as if the force against my chest would keep me from moving. Stopping in front of the door, I attempted the doorknob. It didn’t budge. I pushed against the door. It didn’t budge either. There was no way anyone could have gotten in through the front door.

I glanced down at the mud, now dirt, again and studied it. No one entered the house, at least not this way, but it looked so much like someone did. Maybe they got to the door, failed to get in, and turned away. Whatever it was, I felt safe to enter my house.

I pushed the key, now free from the tangle of others, into the lock on the door and gave it a small twist. The door gave, pushing open some. It creaked as I pushed it further. The door stop made that wobbly-clanging noise at it hit and came back ever so slightly. My keys jangled in the doorknob as I scanned over the floor of the room. No more mud that I could see, which I took to mean that there was no chance anyone got into the house.

Turning to head toward the car so I could retrieve my groceries, a sound came from inside the house. It sounded like the stomping of running feet, but not the feet from an adult. I turned again, just quickly enough to see someone come running toward the door. Their hand outstretched to grab my keys, but I managed to grab their wrist.

The person who stared back at me stood no taller than my hips. He sported a bright red beard and the most brilliant green eyes I had ever seen. They made me think of emeralds and matched the green suit he wore.

“Who the hell are you?” I blurted, before I could stop myself.

The man glared up at me. “Let me go,” he ordered.

“Tell me who you are and I’ll let you go.” I said it before I realized that wasn’t the entire truth. I wanted to know how he got into my house when the door was still locked. Maybe he got in through the back, or in through a window. But the mud disappeared at my door and it didn’t look like anyone backtracked from the front.

A silence fell between us, him glaring at me and me holding his wrist.

I twisted some and pulled my keys from the door and took a few steps back, dragging him with me. Considering his stature, I didn’t feel a need to call the cops. If I got him out of my house, I would just make sure he couldn’t get in through the back again. Or however he came in.

He leaned back. His body went limp, and I felt the full weight of him in my grasp, which tightened to keep ahold of him.

“I’m trying to be nice, but if you don’t get out, I’m calling the cops!”

“The cops’ll do you no good.”

My eyes narrowed, and I resisted the urge to throw him against the wall. An ordinary person would have struck more fear in me, and a part of me said I should still be afraid. A person was a person. They could all be dangerous. But he had made no moves to harm me so far.

“And why is that? You a murderer or something?”

He stood up again as I asked that and stared at me. I paused. He looked at me so confused and I couldn’t understand why. Surely it didn’t hurt his feelings to think he was a murderer or some nefarious person.

“I’m a leprechaun, girl,” he answered. “They’ll just put the cuffs on me and I’ll disappear.”

My brows rose. “Are you serious?” I giggled a little. Points for being creative, but I still didn’t want him in my house.

“I am. And if you let me go, I’ll prove to you. I’ll disappear and you’ll never see me again.”

I rolled my eyes. “Nice try, you lunatic. I’m not letting you go until you’re out of my house.”

“How do you think I got in?”

“Through the back.”

“Through the front. I can phase through walls. You people seem to have forgotten that about us.”

I scoffed. I didn’t know much about leprechaun lore, but I didn’t care right now, either. “You expect me to take you at your word, let you go, and watch you steal my keys and run away? I’m not letting go or taking my eyes off of you, pal.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. His other hand raised up, and I suddenly felt a burning sensation as it seemed to graze my arm. Only it didn’t graze my arm. As I looked to where the burning sensation arose, I noticed three red lines.

“Breaking and entering and assault! You must be best friends with the cops,” I retorted, pulling him closer and leaning down some to get closer to him. “One more strike and it’s over for you. Now let me lead you outside and I’ll let you walk away like you aren’t a jerk!”

He let out a huff and glared at me further before glancing passed me. “Fine, I’ll go with you to the road,” he retorted.

I nodded, thankful to be getting somewhere, finally. By now, my coffee was probably grossly warm and my ice cream melted in my trunk. I turned to walk with him when it felt like my grip loosened. I spun around, afraid he was going to slip out and do exactly what I feared he would. He looked almost see through when I turned, as if whoever I held in my hand was nothing more than a ghost, but he quickly became solid again.

His mouth moved, but whatever he said to me didn’t register. All I could think was how abnormal that was. Maybe I was hallucinating. Did I have lunch? Maybe I didn’t eat. Or maybe I got food poisoning and it was playing tricks on my mind. Whatever it was, I didn’t know how to explain it, and he looked angrier than ever.

“I’ll give you your three wishes then!”

Those words registered in my brain.

“You said leprechaun… not genie…” My thoughts still felt elusive. My brain spun. I’ve seen those social media posts about jinn and ghost and poltergeists and other supernatural entities, but I always thought they were a hoax. Could they be real…?

He scoffed again. “You people really don’t know anything! You get three wishes, or my pot of gold. Unfortunately, my pot of gold is not where I can get it right now, so you get three wishes.” He grinned. “Choose wisely.”

If I knew anything about leprechauns, other than their appearance, it was that any gold of theirs would disappear by morning. So any wish for wealth, I assumed, would turn out the same way. And anything else I thought of—a house, student loans gone, credit card debt gone, affordable anything—all had the same foundation of money. The thought didn’t sit well with me, but it was hard to forget everything in the world now cost money.

I grinned back. “I want you, tomorrow, to give me enough gold to pay off all my debts. That would be two wishes, since I have two things of debt.”

He tilted his head. “You count that as two?”

“Well… isn’t it?”

He shrugged. “If you say so. They’re your wishes.”

Part of me knew I should count it as one; it was my debt that could be consolidated into one. But that wasn’t my point. My point was to stick it to everyone who profited off of these horrible loans and predatory practices. “My third wish is for an extra bit of gold, enough to get me gas and groceries and pay my bills.”

Maybe I should feel bad. After all, the person who would convert the gold to cash for me would be the one to go without once it disappeared. Hopefully, they would have a way to survive without worrying.

The man in front of me shrugged. “So it will be done,” he stated and then glanced at my hand. “Now let go of me.”

I grinned and released him. If I never saw him again, it wouldn’t make any difference. But if I got my three wishes… “Why were you here, anyway?” I asked.

“I was trying to avoid someone looking for my gold,” he answered. This time, without resistance, he headed toward the door. “The gold will be here tomorrow for you.”

“If you ever need a place to hide away again, feel free to come here. I just want some of that gold,” I stated. He passed a glance over his shoulder at me, something much less than grateful, and then disappeared entirely.

Maybe soon I would be debt free, but until then, I needed to rescue my coffee and my ice cream. Disclaimer: Post has been lightly edited. All images used in the photo have been taken from Unsplash.

[noladyme]

You and Me makes Three - Part 1

Lyla moved to San Fransisco for work, and for a fresh start. The standoffish guy across the hall of her sublet peaks her interest in more ways than one; and when he finally opens up, she jumps at the chance to get to know him; and whatever it is his dark secret is.

Eddie Brock x OC Lyla

TW: smut and fluff

1.

I’d found the sublet on craigslist; which I came to regret, when meeting the current tenant. Ziggy – as the guy called himself – turned out to be a long haired ultra-deuche; who’d spent most of our first meeting looking down my top, and talking about his upcoming tour of Illinois, with his band; Dirty Riders. I’d had my share of adventures with guys in bands; but in Ziggy’s case, I could literally smell the perfume from the chick he’d probably banged the night before.

After spending 20 minutes trying to distract me from the task at hand; I finally got him back on track, and we’d come to an agreement on the rent for the 3 months I’d be using his place. It was steep, but after having landed the job at a private school – and having been asked to start the week after – I needed a home; if only temporarily, while I looked for something else.

With most of my stuff in storage; all I had with me the day I was supposed to move in, was a couple of suitcases; and three boxes of essentials – like my books, pens and notes. And of course, my computer – my lifeline.

The neighborhood wasn’t the greatest; so, when I realized the door phone wasn’t working, and the Zigster wasn’t answering his cell, I was lightly panicking. I was standing alone on a street in a new city; with my most valued belongings, and no way to get out of there; as the cab that had brought me, took off as soon as the driver got my last box out of the trunk.

I kept calling Ziggy, and pounding the button for the apartment; but nothing came of it. I sat down on the doorstep, and was just about ready to cry; when a guy in his 30’s, wearing a casual leather jacket, walked up to the door with a key. “Excuse me”, he muttered, pulling out his keys. I looked up at him. It was hard making out his eye-color – blues, greens and browns meshed together to make a color all of its own. I found myself caught up in trying to distinguish the different shades in them; when I realized that he was about to unlock the door, and walk in.

“Hey”, I said. “Do you live here?”. He sent me a friendly but reserved smile; making me also notice his full lips; and the way his front teeth were just a little bit crooked – just enough to make him look interesting. “Yeah”, he said. “I do… Can I help you?”. I let out a relieved smile. “I live here too”, I said. “Or, I’m supposed to… I’m subletting from Ziggy”. He raised his brows. “You’re a friend of Ziggys?”. “Not exactly”, I scoffed. “He’s leaving town for a few months, and is letting me use his place… but the door-phone isn’t working, and he isn’t picking up his cell”.

The man seemed to be having an internal dialogue, before coming to a conclusion. “Yeah. Ok… come on in”. “Thank you!”, I smiled; almost crying in relief. I picked up my suitcases, as he unlocked the door, and carried them inside; after which I got the first two boxes – the man holding the door for me. I thought I heard him mutter “Fine!” under his breath, before he stepped outside, grabbing the last box for me. “Oh crap! Careful, that’s heavy”, I managed to say; before he groaned from the weight of the many books, I’d stored in it. “Shit, no kidding”, he grunted.

He put the box down just inside the door. “Do you need help up the stairs?”, he asked; obviously hoping for me to say no. I smiled and shook my head. “Nah, I’m good. But thanks!”, I said. I stuck out my hand to shake his, and told him my name. “I’m Eddie”, he answered. “I guess we’re neighbors. I live across the hall from Ziggy”. “Thanks for the help, Eddie”, I grinned. “I’m Lyla… by the way”. “Nice to meet you”, he muttered. He walked up the stairs, sending me an inquisitive look over his shoulder.

Five trips up and down the stairs later; I finally had all my things outside Ziggys door. I tried calling him again; and heard a phone ring behind the door. You’ve got to be kidding me! I banged the door. “Ziggy! I’m here”, I yelled. “Open up, you dick”, I added, below my breath. I looked behind me, at what was apparently Eddies door; and saw something move behind the peephole.

I banged the door again. “Ziggy?”. Someone coughed and moved around some stuff behind the door; and Ziggy finally opened; looking at me with a seriously hungover expression. “Fuck. What’s today?”, he rasped. “Wednesday”, I said exasperatedly. His eyes widened. “Shit, beautiful. I’m so sorry!”, he said smilingly. “Come one in!”. “My name is Lyla”, I reminded him, and stepped in behind him. “Lyla-licious”, Ziggy sniggered; making me want to barf violently.

The studio apartment was, if possible, worse than I had imagined. A heavy smell of incense, weed and stale beer hung over the room; and a collection of bongs shaped like female torsos sat on a shelf. Ziggy had decorated the wall over his bed with posters of his own band.

Ziggy scrambled to get his things together. Apparently, he’d not packed up his things for the upcoming tour of steakhouses, coffeeshops and dive-bars throughout Illinois. “Let me just get this…”, he smirked at me; before rubbing himself as close as possible to me to get to a pack of xxl-condoms on a shelf in the kitchen area. “You know, if you need it, you’re welcome to hang around after I get back”. “I’m gonna be pretty focused on getting something permanent set up”, I smiled; swallowing bile. “Absolutely, yeah. That’s so cool”, he said; leaning against the counter I was standing by. “Just let me know, ok?”. He put his hand on my shoulder, and squeezed it. “Sure…”, I said, and stepped back; going to check out the rest of the space.

It was one room – combined livingspace/bedroom/kitchen. A small bathroom with – thank God! – a bathtub; which was going to need some serious cleaning before I’d even put a foot in it. But it was mine… at least for the next three months. It’s not a lot, I thought to myself. But I can work with this.

Ziggy seemed to have his stuff packed up; and was standing in the doorway to the small bathroom; blocking my exit. He had a guitarcase casually hanging from one shoulder. “So… I’m ready to go”, he smirked. I nodded and half smiled. “Keys?”, I said. “Right. Here…”. He handed me a set of keys “If I get any mail…”. “I’ll let you know; once a week, like we agreed”. “Yeah”, he smirked and nodded; looking me over like I was edible. “So, I’ll call you?”. I swallowed bile again. “Yup”, I said, and reached out my hand to shake his. He took it; and held on to it; letting his thumb stroke my fingers. I will tear off your arm if you don’t let go, I thought to myself.

“Take care, Lyla”, he said; and winked at me; before finally moving away from the doorframe; and grabbing his bags to leave. “Shit, I forgot. The guy across the hall… he’s kind a of weird. Be careful, ok?”. “Sure…”, I muttered, and walked after him to the door, closing it behind him. I let out an audible sigh of relief, and put on the door chain.

---

I opened the windows, and got to cleaning. An old ashtray shaped like an avocado, turned out to be an actual shell of an avocado; and for the third time that day, I almost vomited. Riffling through some old dusty cd’s of Ziggys, I found a Fleetwood Mac album. “Yes!”, I cried out. At least you have that going for you, Ziggy, I thought – until I realized he’d never unwrapped the cellophane around the cover. I unwrapped it myself, put on the album; and skipped to my favorite song; singing along to the lyrics. “… well, I’ve been afraid of changing, ‘cuz I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, even children get older…”.

Someone knocked on the door. For a second, I was afraid Ziggy had changed his mind about touring, and had come back. I opened the door slightly, leaving the chain on. Outside stood Eddie. “Hi”, I said cautiously. He seemed warmer. “Hey. I think you dropped this in the hallway”. He was holding one of my notebooks. I unlatched the chain, and opened the door fully, taking the book from him. “Weird”, I said. “I could swear I’d packed it in the bottom of one of the boxes”. Eddie smiled nervously. “Well… maybe it jumped out”, he said. “Maybe”, I chuckled. “Thanks”.

He lingered. “The music…”, he said. “I’m sorry. Is it too loud?”, I asked. He shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine”, he said. “Just different than what usually comes out of this apartment”. I laughed. “Yeah… The Zigster seems to have a very specific taste”. “Yeah?”, Eddie smiled. “You should see his collection”, I said. He nodded and smiled crookedly. “Maybe… sometime”.

I noticed the door to his apartment was open. It seemed like the mirror opposite of mine. Just less disgusting. I met Eddies eyes. I still couldn’t figure out the color of them – all I could conclude was that they were… kind. I would have lost myself in them, if he hadn’t turned to walk back into his own place. “Uhm, Eddie?”, I said. He looked at me again. “Could you point me in the direction of a good… grocery store?”. Idiot… He scratched his head. “Yeah, I mean… I do most my shopping at Mrs. Chens, down the street”, he said. “Just don’t tell her you know me. She’ll try to sell you meditation tapes and scented candles”. I laughed. “A scented candle wouldn’t hurt this place”, I said. “Ziggy left behind some pretty gnarly smells”. He laughed. “He’s a… special guy”. Our eyes met again for a moment. Eddie seemed to want to say something else, but then his eyes moved, as if he was listening to something. “I gotta go”, he said; and went into his apartment, closing the door. He's strange, I thought. But something inside me wanted to figure him out.

---

The next few days went by without much happening. I finally finished cleaning my new living-space – except for the mattress. I couldn’t get myself to sleep on it, after I’d taken of the old bedding left behind by Ziggy; and finding quite a few stains I didn’t even want to touch with rubber-gloves – so I’d slept on the couch so far.

Once, I’d run in to Eddie by the mail slots; exchanging a friendly helloand a smile. He seemed to be in a hurry to get out of the door, carrying a messenger-bag and a motorcycle helmet. I noticed him opening his own slot. It had E. Brock, written with bold letters on it. Watching him walk away down the hall to the door; I couldn’t help but bite my lip and smile. He moved like he was late for something; but at the same time didn’t want anyone to tell him when he was supposed to get there. Like some kind of internal struggle, I just wanted to unwrap and explore.

Saturday morning, I woke up early for once, craving coffee and carbs. I had neither of those things in the kitchen; so, I got dressed in my favorite jeans and a light, loose t-shirt, to head out and track something down. As I was still new to San Francisco, I wasn’t sure about how the weather would be in October. I brought my short leather jacket. Just in case. I put a notebook and a pen in my shoulder-bag, and was off.

Outside the building I grabbed a free paper to have something to read. I took a streetcar towards the Mission District; enjoying the sunshine and smells from food carts we passed. Hunger was about to take me over; and I opened my paper, to distract myself. The headlines were mostly fluff stories and ads; except for a couple on the murder of a local politician, and animal attacks by the harbor. Some drug dealers had been found with their heads bitten clean off. I winced at the thought; before turning the page, and a new header caught my eye.

Home robberies in Downtown Oakland – Gangs or criminals on city payroll? - Story by Eddie Brock.

I was surprised for a second. He didn’t strike me as a journalist in the traditional sense.

The story was mostly an opinion piece, but was based heavily on facts he’d dug up from interviews with victims, and homeless youth in the area of the robberies. Eddie was questioning the arrests made on young gang members for the crimes; and in stead suggesting that city-leadership was paying crime syndicates to commit the robberies, to be able to gentrify the area. If he was right; this was a big story; so, I was finding it strange to see the story in a free newspaper.

I arrived near Mission Dolores Park; having read about a nice, upmarket coffee shop there; with donuts that the blogger had written were to absolutely die for. They turned out to be less so. After standing in line for 30 minutes; I was handed a stale cup of organically sourced, fairtrade coffee; and a donut that was hard enough to break a window. Stepping outside the shop; I decided to give it a chance; and bit in to it – instantly almost choking on the floury consistency of the pastry.

“They’re not very good, are they…”. I turned to face Eddie; standing with an amused smile on his face. “Nope”, I answered, and spat out the donut-bite into a napkin. “Sorry…”, I said embarrassedly. “No worries”, he chuckled. “If I’d known you were coming here, I’d have told you. They’re vegan…”. I raised my brows at him. “Shit, sorry! Are you vegan?”, he asked. “No”, I shook my head and chuckled. “But I’ve for sure had better vegan food than this”. He sighed and seemed to ponder something. “Come on”, he said, and gestured for me to follow him.

We walked down a narrow street; passing smaller shops and street vendors – some of which seemed to know Eddie, and sent him friendly nods. “You’re popular around here”, I said; walking next to him. He chuckled in response. “I dunno. I prefer buying from smaller shops. Personal touch, you know?”. “I get it”, I said. “Locally sourced, and eco-friendly; right?”. He shrugged. “Something like that”.

He stopped by a small storefront; displaying pride-flags and caricatures of politicians in the window. I knew already that I would like this place. The man behind the counters face lit up. “Yo, Ed! Back so soon, man?”, he grinned. “I know you got that parasite thing, but seriously…”. Eddie looked uncomfortable for a second. “Yeah, Don… this is my new neighbor”. He introduced me, avoiding my eyes. “She went to La Boulange”. Don inhaled sharply through his teeth. “Yikes… New in town?”, he asked. I chuckled and nodded. “Coffee black?”, Eddie asked me. I nodded. “Give us two blacks and a couple of glazed yeast”. “I’ll add some sprinkles for the lady”, Don winked friendlily. Eddie groaned. “Just… don’t make them the green ones”, he said. “I was high for 12 hours straight last time”. I laughed out loud.

We left the store; Eddie politely having paid for our coffees and donuts. Through the window I saw Don point at me, and give Eddie the thumbs up and a wink. “He’s a character”, I smiled. “He sure is”, Eddie answered. His voice was deliciously raspy, and watching him speak I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of trouble his lips could get in to with mine. I had to shake myself out of the thought. “Thanks for this”, I said. “You haven’t tasted it yet”, he said.

I bit in to my pastry. It was carb-heaven in my mouth. “Oh. Oh my God!”, I said, mouth full. “I know, right?”, Eddie smiled. I raised my brows and nodded fiercely. “It’s why I go out of my way to come here every morning”. “Don’t journalists work all over?”, I asked, covering my mouth with my hand, as I was still chewing. He scrunched his brows at me in question. I pulled out the newspaper from my bag. “Oh, yeah”, he said. “I do freelance stuff mostly; but I have a position at a newspaper downtown. Used to write for The Globe”. “New York?”, I asked. “So, why move to San Francisco?”. He shrugged. “I lost the position for… being what I am. An honest reporter”.

I half smiled. “So, a new life”. “Yeah, and a girl”, he admitted. “My fiancée”. My heart dropped; and I did my best not to show it on my face. “Oh! You’re engaged? That’s great!”. “Not really”, chuckled. “I messed that up too… by being what I am”. “An honest reporter…”, I muttered. “And at times a little too cutthroat about it”. He sighed. “It’s good though. She’s good. I’m good. We’re good”.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why am I telling you all this stuff?”, he said and laughed. “Are you sure you’renot a reporter?”. “Nah. I’m just an elementary schoolteacher”, I said. “I do write, though. But not articles”. “What?”, he said earnestly. I shook my head. “Another time. I’m sure you have somewhere to be”. He looked at his watch. “Shit, yeah!”, he said. “Sorry, I gotta run”. “It’s fine. Thanks again”.

He nodded and smiled. “You take care, teach’”, he said. “See you around”. He walked away; scratching his head, and looking back at me a couple of times. I took my time enjoying my donut and coffee; and walked in the opposite direction. Eddie – Be still my beating heart.

---

I spent the rest of the morning trying to map out the best way to and from work. As I was starting the next Monday morning, the nerves were getting to me. They’re just 5-yearolds, I kept telling myself. 5-yearolds attending a private school funded by their very rich parents; and some pretty serious sponsors from Silicon Valley. And me without my degree from MIT…

I stopped at Mrs. Chens for some light groceries. Although I’d loved Don’s donuts – and his coffee had been heavenly – I was to anxious to see myself making my way all the way to the Mission District the next day; and I always needed caffeine and access to some kind of breakfast in the morning. The lady behind the counter – Chen, I assumed – seemed nice, though a bit standoffish; and quickly checked out my coffee, bacon, eggs, cheese; and other essentials. “You’re new here”, she said. “How did you know?”, I asked. “I usually only get regulars”, she answered, and narrowed her eyes at me. “I moved in down the street. My neighbor recommended your shop”, I smiled. “Who?”, she demanded. “Eddie…”, I answered timidly. Her face instantly became warmer. “He’s a good boy”, she said. “Tell him to pic up my cousins latest cd. It’ll do him good. As well as his parasite”. That parasite thing again. Weird. I thanked her, grabbed my stuff; and left the store.

I made my way back to the apartment; cranked up the Fleetwood, and danced it out for a while. I’d always done that; when I needed to get something out of my system. It was better than drinking myself into oblivion – and I was out of whiskey.

I was completely oblivious to anything around me, when I heard someone clear their throat. I turned around, arms in the air; and almost died from embarrassment. The door was open; and in the opening stood Eddie.

“Sorry, it was open”, he said; trying to stifle a smile. “Ziggy had a crazy ex kick it down once. It’s always needed an extra push and pull to close properly, since then”. I nodded, blushing. He held up a carton of eggs. “Chen said you forgot this”, he said. “Thanks…”, I said, taking the pack from him. I grimaced. “So… this is embarrassing”. He laughed. “What? The eggs, or the dancing?”, he chuckled. “Ha, ha. Laugh it out”, I said, stifling a smile. “I was enjoying the view”, he said; and glint to his eyes – before grimacing himself. “Sorry… that was… probably crossing a line”. “It’s fine… you’re fine…”, I said; realizing what I’d just said. “Good, I mean. Shit… I do this to clear my head, sometimes. Dance. It relaxes me”.

He laughed. “I just got back from… a thing”, he said. “I need to clear my head a bit as well. Was gonna take a ride up to Coit Tower”. I smiled; my blushing beginning to fade. “That sounds nice”, I smiled. He exhaled. “Yeah… do you wanna come?”. My jaw dropped. “Uh… yeah. Sure. I’d like that”, I said. What the hell, Eddie? Are you asking me out? “Great”, he smiled. “I was gonna take my bike; are you good with that?”. “I don’t have a bike”, I said. He chuckled. “Not that kind of bike”. Right. The motorcycle helmet. “And now I feel like an idiot”, I muttered. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve met the biggest idiots in media, politics and sports; and you look nothing like them”, he said. “You do look like someone who needs to get out of this place for a while”. I smiled; grabbed my jacket; and followed him out the door – making sure it was properly shut behind me.

Eddie grabbed two helmets from his apartment; giving me another chance peak into his place. It smelled nice. Like tater tots and musky cologne. I didn’t know why, but suddenly it was my favorite smell. “Let’s go”, Eddie said; handing me one of the helmets; and we made our way down the stairs.

Outside the building stood a motorcycle. It was clearly well cared for. Eddie got on it, and put on his helmet; gesturing for me to get on behind him. “You should hold on”, he said. I searched for something to grab; and he took my wrists; pulling my arms around his waist. Wow. Ok. Firm. “You good?”, he asked. “Yeah”, I squeaked. He chuckled behind his helmet. “Sit tight, teach’”. He started the bike, and revved the engine; before taking off. “Oh my God”, I yelped; feeling his body shake in laughter in front of me.

I was convinced he took the steepest roads; scaring the shit out of me for the first few miles – before I finally got comfortable behind him. I relaxed my body; and let myself enjoy the view of the city in the dusk – and how close I was to Eddies warm body. I felt his calm breathing; and matched it – soon feeling completely relaxed. We hit a bump, making the bike jump a bit; and I laughed in glee; hearing him laugh along with me.

The drive was over way to soon for my liking. We’d made our way up Telegraph hill; and I got off the bike, taking of my helmet. “You liked that, huh?”, Eddie grinned at me. “Yeah, it was fun!”, I smiled. He looked at me; almost in wonder. “Was that your first time on a bike?”. “I tried it once, for like five minutes; when I was a kid, but kind of. Yeah”, I admitted. “I couldn’t tell”, he smirked sarcastically. I frowned in mock annoyance. “Shut up”, I said. “You’ve never had a better passenger”. He laughed. “Yeah… come on”.

The sun was going down; and we were too late for tickets to get up the tower; but Eddie seemed unfazed. “There’s a good view over here”, he said; putting his hand on my lower back, to lead me over to a railing. “You gonna push me over this thing?”, I joked. “Nah, would be a poor move for a first date”, he said. I looked at him. “This is a date?”, I smiled. He seemed to have an internal dialogue. “I… don’t know”, he said. “Do you want it to be?” I bit my lip. “Let’s see how good this view is; and I’ll let you know”.

The view was stunning. I could see both the lights of the city as well as the Golden Gate bridge. My jaw dropped at the sight. “Wow…”. Eddie looked at me. “Yeah, it’s pretty special”, he said.

I stepped towards the binoculars; searing my pockets for change. “I don’t have a quarter!”, I heard Eddie whisper. “It’s fine”, I smiled at him. “I can see pretty clear anyway”. He looked me, caught off guard. “Yeah. Sorry…”. I leant against the railing. “I could fall in love with this city”, I proclaimed. Eddie smiled warmly at me, walking up next to me – close enough for me to feel the heat radiating from his body.

We looked at the views for a while, talking about this and that. I told Eddie about my hometown, and how I’d loved it as well. “So, why did you decide to come here”. “It’s a long story”, I muttered. “Come on, I’ve already seen you dance!”, he chuckled. “You don’t like my dancing?”, I gasped in jest. He smiled. “You really put the oogie in the boogie”, he said. “You’re the most graceful elephant in a porcelain shop, I’ve ever seen”. “So now I’m an elephant?”, I raised a brow at him. He grimaced. “I walked right in to that”, he muttered. “Sorry…”. I smiled at him in forgiveness. “Seriously though. Why’d you make the move?”

I couldn’t help myself. I had to mess with him. “It’s embarrassing”, I said. He smiled encouragingly. “Ever since I was a kid… I’ve always wanted to act. Be in the big movies”. His lips parted, and he looked really uncomfortable. I continued. “So… I decided to give it a shot. Come here; and be near Hollywood, you know?”. I smiled earnestly. “I think I’ve finally got a shot; now that the studios are just down the street”. Eddie looked genuinely sorry for me. “Lyla… I don’t…”, he began. “Eddie…”, I smiled. “I’m kidding”. He exhaled in relief. “Thank God. I really didn’t want to be the one to tell you… You know?”. “I know”, I smirked. “’Cuz we’re a way off from Hollywood here”. I nodded. “About 400 miles. I realize that”. He began laughing, and shook his head. “Is this payback for the elephant thing?”, he said. I shrugged. “Maybe”, I smiled.

He bumped my shoulder with his own. “You’re bad news, darlin’!”, he laughed. “You’re not, though”, I answered. “Tell me; why did your article on those home robberies end up in a free newspaper, instead of some big ass media outlet?”. He sighed. “Not everyone wants to run the hard stories”, he said. “As long as it gets out there…”. I nodded. “I get it”, I said. “Besides, in a free paper the story will get a broader audience, right?”. He shrugged. “I hope so”, he said. “I think it’s an important story”. “Me too”, I agreed.

I told Eddie about my new job. “Private school?”, he grimaced. I laughed. “Yeah, I know”, I said. “Not very socially conscious of me. But the pay is good. And I needed a change”. “What made you move here? The truth this time”, he smiled. “It’s got to be more than the job. You don’t strike me as someone who does things just for money”. I chewed my lip. “I wasn’t in a very good place in my job, or my life”, I admitted.

He looked at me with warm eyes – the color even more indistinguishable in the dusk. I bit my lip; wanting desperately for something to happen. “How’s your head? A bit clearer?”, he said quietly. “Not really…”, I admitted. He let out a quiet laugh, and wrinkled his forehead. “Yeah, me neither”, he muttered. “Can I kiss you? I just feel like I should, you know...?”. I interrupted him by taking his hand. “Yes…”. He nodded and sighed in relief. “Ok. Then… I’m going to do that. Now”. I chuckled; and laced my fingers with his. He stepped closer; putting a lock of my hair behind my ear; before placing his hand on my cheek; letting his thumb stroke my cheekbone. “I like your eyes…”, he said. “Stop talking, Eddie”, I smiled. “Ok”, he said; and finally let his full lips meet mine.

It was soft. Gentle. I parted my lips; letting the tip of my tongue meet his. He wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me close; and I slid my hands around his neck – letting my fingertips play with the hair there. He pulled his head back a bit; letting our foreheads meet. “You’re… something else”, he smiled. “Something good, I hope”, I answered. “Yeah”, he breathed. “Can I… just… one more time?”, he muttered; before pressing his lips to mine again. I chuckled against his kiss; and returned his enthusiasm. This time there was a bit more heat to our connection. He held on to me; making me stand flush against him. I felt a rush of blood to my core; and my breath hitched.

Someone cleared their throat. Our lips parted, and we saw that we we’re being watched by an elderly couple. “You kids should take that somewhere else”, one of the men said. I flushed red, and Eddie took my hand. “Yeah. Let’s… go”, he smiled.

---

Once back at our building, Eddie gave me a hand to get off his bike. We walked up the stairs together, and paused in front of our doors.

“Thanks for this”, I said. “I needed a distraction”. “I’m a distraction now?”, Eddie asked with a smirk. “A good one”, I chuckled. He ran a hand through his hair, and sighed. “Thanks for the… kissing part. I liked that”, he said. “I did too”, I said, before chewing my bottom lip for a moment. “We could do it again… If you want to”. Eddie looked relieved. “I really do”, he smiled, and took a step closer to me. I met him halfway, and leaned in to him, as he cupped my cheek, and our lips met. He took my bottom lip between his own; softly tugging it – and the repeated the process with the top one. My tongue brushed against his lips, and he met it with his own; letting them reacquaint themselves with each other.

Eddie put his arm around me, and I shivered in pleasure, as our hips met; and I felt his body’s very obvious reaction to our kiss. He let out a soft groan; a sound that sent electricity straight to my core. Grabbing on tighter to me, he almost had my knees give in. In spite of his normally withdrawn and almost aloof demeanor – which he’d relaxed somewhat, curing our evening together – he now seemed like he couldn’t get me close enough; almost hungry in his kiss. I was right there with him; ready to throw all inhibitions out the window, and let him take me in that hallway. I literally had to dig my nails in to my palm, to tear myself from the heated moment.

I put my hands on Eddie’s shoulders, and pushed him away as gently as I could. “I’m sorry… Did I hurt you?”, he asked, in a surprisingly concerned voice. “No, Eddie; I’m…”, I tried. “I don’t always know my own strength. I’ll be more careful…”. Eddie seemed unable to stop talking. I put my fingertips to his soft lips – for a short second considering slipping one into his mouth; just to feel him suck on it – and took a step back. “Eddie, you didn’t do anything wrong. Really!”, I smiled. “But, I have this rule… I don’t have sex on the first date”. Eddie’s eyes widened, and he took a step back himself. “No… Of course! I don’t want you to think, I see you as some kind of… I mean, if you were, there would be nothing wrong with that… People can enjoy sex, that’s completely normal… But I would never expect you to just…” I couldn’t help but smile at his flustered babbling, but in the end, I decided to put him out of his misery. I leaned in, and gave him a short kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight”, I said. “Yeah… goodnight, Lyla”, Eddie said. He watched me as I unlocked my door, and I gave him a final smile, before stepping inside, and closing it behind me.

I leaned against the wall, and sighed frustratedly. It felt like everything below my bellybutton was literally screaming at my brain, saying; open the door, and stop thinking so much, you stupid blob of fat and water! I want to play!. I peeked out of the peephole, and saw Eddie beginning to fish out his keys. He looked like he was having a frustrated conversation with himself. He turned and looked at my door, and I quickly pulled back from the peephole. “You’re being an idiot”, I whispered to myself.

Before I knew it had happened, I had opened my door. “Eddie…”. He dropped his keys in chock, and scrambled to pick them up. His jacket and shirt rode up slightly, letting me get a peek at his tattooed torso; only making my resolve stronger. “Yeah! Hey… Hi”, he said, and got up to stand again. “You know, when I said I’d let you know whether it was a date or not…”. “Yeah?”, Eddie muttered. I chewed my lip, and took a deep breath before continuing. “I decided it wasn’t a date… So, technically, I wouldn’t be breaking my rule”. Eddie looked confused for a moment, before his eyes lit up. “Oh… Oh! You mean…”. He seemed unable to finish the sentence; and I felt my cheeks beginning to burn. “I mean, unless you changed your mind”, I muttered. “No!”, Eddie said, taking a step towards me. “I’d like that”.

I let out a pleased sigh, and was even more relieved when Eddie decided to take the lead, and step over to me; instantly capturing my lips in a warm kiss. I put my arms around his neck, and let myself float away in the pleasurable sensations his soft, full lips sent through my body. I’d known this man for less than a week – I could hardly say that I knew him at all – but everything in that moment was perfect; as if we were made to do this. Eddie pressed me against the doorway to my apartment, and let out a guttural groan when I ran my nails through his short hair. He pressed his tongue into my mouth, and once again I relished in his taste.

I looked out the corner of my eye at the main living area of my sublet, and frowned. I pulled back slightly, to be able to speak. Eddie moved his kisses down to my neck, and I gasped audibly. ��Eddie… Oh, god. That’s… No, stop!”, I rasped. He pulled back instantly, and met my eyes. “What?”, he asked. “The bed in there is kind of gnarly… Can we do this at your place?”, I said. “Yeah, of course”, he smiled, and tore himself from me, to run over and open his own door. I closed the door to my own place – giving it that extra yank it needed – and stepped up behind Eddie. He looked at me over his shoulder. “Sorry about the mess", he muttered apologetically, and opened his door.

Eddie’s apartment was cluttered, but not dirty. I could have sworn I saw a few unwashed dishes by the sink, but when I blinked, they were gone; as if a shadow had whisked them away. He had post-it notes hanging with ideas for stories, and a couple that read things like If you eat it, replace it and Pigeons are not food. “Do you have a roommate?”, I asked. Eddie chuckled nervously to himself. “Nah, I… forget things”, he said, and tore down a note reading No roadkill in the tub!.

I decided against asking, and simply made my way over to the couch, letting my finger run along the back of it. “Do you want some coffee? Or a beer?”, Eddie asked, and moved towards the fridge. I bit my lip, and shook my head. “Maybe… after?”, I said, trying for seductive; and failing miserably, when I tripped over a stack of papers on the floor. Before I knew what happened, Eddie was next to me; catching me before I hit the floor. “Wow… you’re fast!”, I said. “I… did track in high school”, he said. “You were all the way over…”, I began.

Eddie pressed his lips to mine, to shut me up, and soon I was forgetting all about the ten feet he’d traversed in less than a second. As quickly as I could, I shed my jacket, and Eddie’s lips once again travelled down my neck. I pushed his jacket off his shoulders, and couldn’t help put squeeze his biceps; finding them as firm as I’d imagined. As Eddie latched on to my pulse-point, I let out soft moan; and was rewarded with his hands moving down to my butt. Giving them a tight squeeze, he suddenly lifted me up, and made me put my legs around his waist. “Let’s move over here”, he muttered, and walked us over to the bed in the corner; gently setting me down on it.

We both began tugging at each other’s tops at the same time, but after chuckling at each other; we silently decided to take care of our own clothing. After I’d shed my tank-top, I kicked off my sneakers while Eddie took off his boots. We kept eye-contact as much as possible, and I saw nothing but appreciation in his gaze, as he saw me get more and more undressed. I was enjoying the sight of his bare torso as well; wanting nothing more than to bury my face in the soft hairs of his barreled chest. I pulled off my jeans – leaving me in socks, bra and panties – and moved back on the bed. Eddie raised a brow at me, and shook his head; and once he had gotten rid of his own pants, he grabbed my ankle, and pulled me closer. I yelped in glee as my groin met his, and he pushed me to lie back. I managed to reach down, and hook my finger into the waistband of his boxer briefs; but Eddie grabbed my wrist. “We got all night…”, he said. “But…”, I said. “Relax”.

He smirked mischievously, and kneeled down at the foot of the bed, and ran his palms up my thighs; leaving goosebumps in their wake. As he left a soft kiss on the inside of my left thigh, while his fingertips stroked circles on my right one. My breath hitched, as his warm breath travelled up to my warmth. I was ready to scream by the time his soft lips left an openmouthed kiss on my covered folds. “Please…!”, I whined. Eddie chuckled, and I felt his tongue lick a broad stripe against the lace covering my throbbing, most sensitive parts. Once again, I tried to take charge, by grabbing his head; but he grabbed my wrists, and forced them down my sides. “I really don’t want to have to hold you down”, he chided. “I kind of need my hands for what I’m about to do…”. I let out a frustrated groan, and relaxed my arms as much as I could. “Good girl…”, Eddie hummed, and let go of my hands. I threw my arms back, and grabbed for one of the pillows above my head, and dug my fingers in to it, to keep from getting in the way of Eddie’s work on my privates again.

With agonizingly slow movements, Eddie hooked his fingers into my panties, and pulled them down my feet. He held them up with one finger, and gave me another smirk, before flicking them away. They landed over his open laptop, and we both laughed for a moment; before Eddie once again lowered his face. The last thing I saw before throwing my head back in pleasure, was Eddie’s pleased eyes widening at his upcoming feast. His perfect mouth closed around my folds and clit, and he gave me a deep suckle, before flicking his tongue over my clit. “I know…”, he muttered. “Come again?”, I croaked. “I’m just enjoying my meal”, Eddie replied, blushing adorably. “Ok… Uhm… well, contin… Oh my god!”. Eddie had entered me with two fingers, and began moving them in a come-hither motion, while sucking hard at my nub. Letting out a growl against my wetness, Eddie soon had me seeing stars. As his fingers worked on my most sensitive spot inside, his tongue moved in a zigzag pattern between my folds; going up and down, and never forgetting to give my clit a languid stroke when he reached it. I put the pillow over my face, and cried out in pleasure, as Eddie worked me towards a mind shattering orgasm. Everything went white, and I’m pretty sure I floated above the mattress for a few seconds; as if something was lifting me in the air.

I was panting into the pillow and shaking all over, as I came down. “Don’t do that!”, Eddie grunted. “What?”, I muttered through the pillow. Eddie climbed up my body, and pulled it away from my face, looking flustered. “Just… don’t cover your face. I want to see you”, he said. “Ok…”, I said.

We smiled at each other, and kissed again. I could taste myself on his tongue, and enjoyed it more than was proper. Eddie laid down between my legs, and pressed against me; making me leave a wet spot on his boxers, from my still glistening folds. “Let me just get these off”, he smiled, and pulled down his underwear; and letting his erection spring free. I smiled in appreciation, and took a hold of my new friend; gently beginning to stroke it. “That’s… that’s nice”, Eddie said, straining to keep his composure. “A bit harder, please”. I tightened my hold, and received a deep moan in reply. “Condom?”, I asked. “Shit, yeah”, Eddie said, and reluctantly pulled himself out of my grasp. As he got off the bed, and ran over to search one of the drawers in his dresser, I snapped open my bra, and took it off. When he turned around to face me, with a foil packet in his hand, his jaw dropped at the sight of my mounds. “That is… Those are very nice”, he croaked. I chuckled, and pulled off my socks; wanting to be completely naked. “Oh, right!”, Eddie said, and tugged his own socks off, one at a time; losing his balance, and falling on to the bed next to me.

I nabbed the foil packet from his hand, and opened it carefully, pulling out the condom. Straddling Eddies legs, I closed my fingers around the tip of the rubber, and held it to the head of his penis. I rolled it down a little, before lowering my head, and closing my mouth around it; rolling it the rest of the way with my lips. Eddie let out a gasping groan, and looked down at me with wide eyes. Once the condom was all the way down his hardness, I released him from my mouth, and sat up; smiling sweetly. “Where did you learn that?”, he asked. “While you were doing track in high school, I was under the bleachers; doing other kinds of workout”, I shrugged. “It’s an interesting talent”, he chuckled. “I have many more”, I said, raising a brow at him. “I’m sure you do”, Eddie smiled, and grabbed the back of my head; pulling me in for a hungry kiss.

I was flipped onto my back, and Eddie placed himself at my entrance. “Yeah?”, he said, searching my eyes for the go-ahead. “Please”, I said, unable to hide the pleading tone in my voice. Eddie gave me one more deep kiss, and as he did, he pushed himself inside me; bottoming out in my warmth. We both moaned deeply as we were conjoined, and Eddie began moving slowly in and out of me. “You’re so warm… and tight!”, he gasped into my ear. “You fit perfectly”, I panted, and moved my hips to meet his every thrust. “I do, don’t I…”, Eddie chuckled. “Holy… wow”. I locked my leg around his hips, and Eddie grabbed my other leg; hooking his arm under my knee. With ever thrust, the head of his penis brushed against my g-spot; but even just the friction against my nub, and the feeling of his velvety hardness brushing against my walls, were enough to make me whimper in pleasure.

After a while of moving together slowly, I felt my walls beginning to quake; and Eddie’s face lit up. He began thrusting faster and harder, and soon I was crying out in ecstasy again. Every atom in my being felt like it was exploding, and I came around him. “Yes!”, I cried out, and Eddie laughed, seemingly overjoyed that he could make me feel this way. “Fuck, you look beautiful when you come”, he grinned. My hair was a tussled, and I was pretty sure my makeup was a mess, but I took his words as truth in that moment; convinced from the expression on his face, that there was no way he could be lying. “Thank you… for that”, I gasped. “And for the orgasm. That was pretty awesome too”. We laughed together for a moment, before Eddie leaned down, and kissed me. “Are you good to continue?”, he asked. “Don’t you dare stop!”, I exclaimed. “Ok… Turn around, then”.

He pulled out of me – leaving me feeling empty and wanting more – and grabbed my hip, to make me turn over. I got on all fours, and once again felt Eddie probing my entrance. He pushed into me with a pleased sigh, and began moving again. He shifted between fast and slow; as if every time he picked up speed, he willed himself to slow down again. “It’s ok. I can take it”, I said. “Alright”, Eddie panted, and let out a groan, as he slammed in to me. I feel forwards on the bed, landing on my chest; and felt my backside lift with every one of Eddie’s thrusts in to me. “… just go to sleep!”, I heard Eddie behind me. “I’m not…”, I said. “What?”. “I’m not asleep. How could I be?” “Oh… No, yeah; of course!”.

He snaked a hand underneath me, and expertly began stroking circles against my clit. I was soon, once again, feeling the familiar rush of an impending orgasm. “I’m gonna…”, I rasped. “Again?”, Eddie panted; still thrusting in to me, and having found the perfect rhythm for the both of us. “Uh huh…”, I whimpered, and turned my face into the mattress; crying out in pleasure. My walls contracted around Eddie’s hardness, and moments later, he let out a rasping groan; and came.

I was trying to regain my breath, and still feeling my muscles clenching throughout my body; as Eddie pulled out of me. He placed a soft kiss to the back of my neck, and got off the bed, to rid himself of the condom. I pulled at the sheet, wrapping it around me, as he returned to the bed and slipped his boxers back on. He looked satisfied, but also a bit frustrated, and I quietly excused myself to the bathroom, to clean up.

Through the door, I heard him shuffling around the small apartment, and seemingly talking to himself. “… stay out of it… was a me thing… I don’t need that”. I was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable at the situation; and must have been stood for quite a while in the small bathroom, because suddenly there was a knock on the door. “Are you ok in there?”, Eddie called out. “Yeah!”, I replied, quickly finishing my cleanup, and washing my hands. I stepped out into the living area again, and gave him a half smile. “Uhm… are youok though?”. Eddie leaned in, and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek, before stepping over to the fridge. “Of course… I’m awesome”, he said, and got out two beers. “That was great!”. I examined his face, and couldn’t help but frown. “Ok… You just seem a little out of it”, I said, and accepted the drink. “Are you regretting…”. “No!”, Eddie exclaimed, his eyes wide and earnest. “Not at all… I just get in my head sometimes”. “Ok…”, I muttered.

Eddie sighed deeply, and took my hand. “Come on”, he said, and pulled me over to sit on the couch. “That… what we just did; that was really great. You were great”. “So were you”, I smiled, biting my lip. “Yeah?”, Eddie said; a slight pink hue to his cheeks. “Thanks…”. As I took a welcome sip of my beer, he merged his fingers with my free hand. “I’d like to do it again… If you’re good with that”. “I’d like that”, I said. We sat for a moment in silence. “Do you wanna stay the night?”. “I should get going”. We’d spoken at the same time. “Oh… Well, if you wanna go…”, Eddie said. “I just thought – seeing as you said the bed at your place wasn’t that great – maybe you’d want to sleep somewhere else”. “The couch isn’t much better”, I chuckled. “Are you sure though? I don’t want you to think you have to…”. “I’d like you to stay”, Eddie said. I felt my cheeks burn. “Ok… I’ll stay”, I said.

Eddie lit up in a grin, and leaned in to give me a warm kiss. “I’m happy you moved in across the hall”, he said. “Me too”, I smiled. “Me three…! Too!”, Eddie said, his voice having shifted from deep, and back to his raspy tone within seconds. He cleared his throat. “Sorry… My throat is a bit dry”, he said, and took a deep swig of his beer. I frowned in confusion, but decided to let it go. We had just spent a good while exercising, and my own throat was a little dry as well; and I took another sip of my beer.

We sat for a long moment in silence, sipping at our bottles, and smiling warmly at each other; before Eddie frowned deeply. “I have to tell you something”, he said. “And… You might change your mind about staying”. I felt a shudder go through my body, suddenly worried where this was going. “What is it?”, I croaked. Eddie took a deep breath, and blew it out. He took my beer from me, and put it down on the coffee table, next to his own. Taking both my hands, he looked deeply in to my eyes. “Here goes… Uhm… Wow, this is hard”, he said. “Just tell me”, I said, trying for calm and encouraging. “Ok… I snore… And not in the cute way”, Eddie said. “I give the streetcars a run for their money, when it comes to noise”. I instantly began laughing in relief. “That’s it? You should hear me!”. Eddie raised his brows at me. “I’ll bet you 20 bucks and a donut from Don’s, I can outdo you”, he said. “You’re a journalist. Don’t you have a Dictaphone?”, I asked. Eddie sprang over to his messenger bag, and pulled out a small recorder. “Let’s do this!”, he exclaimed.

I got to my feet, and followed him over to the bed. Unwrapping myself from the sheet, Eddie gave me a sly smile, and pulled me in for a deep kiss – running his hands up and down my sides – before he let me crawl onto the bed. Once I laid down, he crawled in next to me, and put the sheet over the both of us. He clicked the record button on the Dictaphone, and put it by the bed: before pulling me in to his arms. I cuddled up against him, and let his warmth lull me; feeling suddenly very tired. “Goodnight, Ed”, I whispered. We gave each other a soft kiss. “Goodnight, Lyla”, he replied.

I was already halfway asleep, when something tucked us in; pulling the covers over us. “Eddie?”, I yawned. “Yeah?”, he asked hesitantly. “Was that you?”. “Yes!”. “Ok. Goodnight”. I was out.

---

[jackalopingintothevoid]

Tabula Rasa Part 2

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 TBA

Mochou had gone to work, and John was full of breakfast. (He liked breakfast. He liked regular full meals. He really liked not being hungry.) He’d taken his prescribed supplements and wasn’t feeling as drained today. He had no difficulty focusing and facing his handicapped state was not as daunting.

He had to do something. Anything.

Leaving the kitchen, John paused in the hallway. He realised to his chagrin that he didn’t know the layout of the building or how secure it was. That needed to be addressed immediately.

Which was how Alouette Elodiesdottir found him an hour later, standing on the washing machine to check the ceiling corners for planted surveillance devices.

“What are you doing?”

He’d heard her approach, so he didn’t turn from his assessment as he answered calmly. “Security.”

John heard the dull clunk of a mug being set down (he should’ve done coffee for the others, too-- tomorrow he would do better) and a response clipped and businesslike. Military. Familiar.

“Progress?”

“Mapped the layout, access points secure, basic perimeter check, also secure. Currently sweeping for bugs, east side clear. This is your home, anywhere specific I might miss?”

“Nothing comes to mind, but I can accompany the west sweep and double check the east.”

The brief exchange was so easy and straightforward that John’s knees went weak with relief. He had to take a moment so they didn’t buckle under him. “This room’s clear.” He hopped off the machine, ignoring the sharp flash of pain in his joints, and nodded to Alouette to lead on.

Hopefully she hadn’t noticed his momentary waver, though it was markedly less embarrassing than folding like an M363 motion tracker. He dared not imagine the bollocking he’d get for receiving an injury after crashing to the floor from an appliance he shouldn’t have been on top of.

They pushed forward and covered the west side of the building, and John was glad of Alouette’s assistance. Not only did the sweep get completed faster but Alouette had been keeping this building secure long before John got here. He was confident in her assurance and didn’t feel that nagging desire to go over things a second time. She approved the east side as well, and John felt the long-overdue satisfaction of a completed task settle in.

Alouette picked up her coffee, kept warm by the SMARTmug in her absence, then turned to John.

“We good?”

He nodded, satisfied with their success and awaiting further instructions. Alouette just looked at him for a moment, but seemed to understand.

“When I have drunk this,” she held up her mug briefly, “I will be going shopping for food. Do you want to come with me?”

He felt a smile tug at his lips. It was still weird, constantly being asked what he wanted, how he felt, is this okay. Weird, but not bad. It invited him to stop, take a moment to think-- like little reminders, scattered throughout his day. It was nice, having the time to think. Nicer still for people to expect it and allow for it.

So he did. John took that time, running through the pros and cons of a shopping trip to the best of his admittedly limited ability. His main concern was the safety of those in the apartment after they left, which he immediately suppressed. They’d secured the building, this wasn’t exactly a warzone; they’d be fine. His own disadvantage regarding a lack of knowledge on how civilian supply runs worked was outweighed by the information that would be gained by going. His own discomfort with the potential situation didn’t factor in, though he’d be acutely aware of it for the whole trip.

John nodded. “ETD?”

“Five minutes.” Alouette looked him up and down. “We will buy you more clothes as well.”

He kept his expression schooled, but he was definitely pleased to hear that. He was currently wearing one of two lower garments that fit, and this one was a little more on the pinching-sensitive-places side.

“Five minutes.” He confirmed.

John was starting to regret his decision.

He hadn’t expected so many people to stare.

He felt especially exposed in the ill-fitting clothing, and he held tightly to the blanket that looked more like a shawl around his broad shoulders. It probably didn’t make him any less of a spectacle, but it helped to hold off the brisk chill and gave him a fraction more coverage.

Fighting to keep his eyes on Alouette, John steadfastly ignored the shifting crowds and his heart beating in his throat. He felt certain he was going to get jumped, but Alouette was an ex-ODST and she moved with ease of posture through the throng. He was the unfamiliar element here-- he’d follow her lead, no matter how much adrenaline was pumped through his system.

She didn’t stop until they’d reached the clothing section of the megastore, where she turned to him started to speak only to cut herself off with an expression of guilt.

“Are you alright?”

John nodded, but she didn’t seem swayed. Why did no one want to accept that he could continue when he said as much? They were in the middle of a task, a long one at that; he didn’t have time to let something so banal as fear slow them down.

Suddenly, Alouette flung a hand in the air. “Ça alors, the crowds! I did not think.”

“It’s fine.”

“Non, no. I should have at least warned you!”

“I didn’t need to be warned. I knew there’d be crowds.”

Frustratingly, nothing John said seemed to help. She muttered French self-admonishments and English apologies. Even switching to French himself did nothing.

Well, that wasn’t true. She seemed a little more relaxed when the conversation was in French.

Still, no matter how many languages John was conversant in (he wasn’t going to dig into that too deeply right now) he still never knew what to say.

So he was almost relieved when someone approached them.

Undeterred by the hardened faces staring back at them, the stranger smiled brightly and addressed them with a thick Scottish accent. “Good morning! Welcome to Illume Designs, where the clothes are made to brighten your day! Is there anything I can help you folks with today?”

The chipper spiel was so far off from what John was expecting that he didn’t know how to react. Luckily, Alouette reacted as if this were commonplace.

“My friend, he needs clothes. All the clothes. As you can see, he is bigger than most.”

The stranger-- they must have worked at the store, approaching people who looked lost to provide assistance-- turned to look up at John and their smile noticeably became strained. “Och, dear, a full wardrobe is it? Underwear and all?”

Attempting to ease the helper, John nodded and calmly answered, “Yes. I don’t have anything else. We’d appreciate the assistance.”

The helper suddenly looked a little paler.

But they rallied quickly, clapping their hands briskly in a way that made John’s nerves jump, and they chuckled nervously.

“Of course, of course! Come this way, we have all the max-end sizes this way, over here, that’s right!”

John lingered behind a little and tried not to frown at the aggressive stance Alouette was taking. Did she perceive the helper’s fear as a threat? He’d have to keep an eye on her for both their sakes.

Alouette was at her wit’s end with this shrivelled weed of a human being. Poor John was very aware of this guy’s issue and she was ready to shove his excuse for customer service so far up his backside that he’d taste it.

And worst of all, John was being so polite! He was trying his best to keep up with all the brands and specs and recommendations despite looking hopelessly lost, then came over all worried-looking when Alouette’s thoughts turned particularly murderous.

John had come with her for something to do, not to be subjected to the lowest common denominator. He wanted to get clothes that fit, groceries for the Crew and then go back home-- likely as quickly as possible after all this-- and Alouette was personally ready to catch the hands of anyone who made that more stressful than it needed to be.

God, just a few days ago she was holding him at gunpoint. How things change.

Still, like isoäiti used to say, weeping does not help at the marketplace-- and neither would strangling this shop assistant, no matter how tempting.

“Though uh, y’know, we might not have a lot in stock that’s your um... your. Size.” (If he didn’t stop staring she was going to pluck his eyeballs out.) “I mean, uh-- you’re a big, bulky guy! Y’know? Real strong like, could probably flex right out of most things!” He trailed off in awkward laughter.

“So,” Alouette ground out, “we get clothes that stretch. John!”

She regretted her tone when he damn near snapped to attention.

“What colours do you like?”

“Oh, yeah, yep, colour’s very important! Especially with your- your complexion, it’s um, you’d look washed out in most- most uh, so more muted colours--”

“Ta gueule!” Sick of his prattling, she turned to John. “Laisse tomber, il ne sait rien faire de ses dix doigts, celui-là.” She confronted again the hapless assistant, ready for a parting casse-toi, but John spoke first.

“We’ll take it from here, thank you.”

The assistant looked queasy. “Right! Okay! Ask if you need anything, have a nice day!” He practically ran. Alouette had to restrain herself from spitting at him as he left.

She’d drawn the attention of the other shoppers, but they’d been staring anyway and at least they were quietly keeping their distance. John looked like he wanted to say something about her behaviour but didn’t.

Taking a deep, calming breath, she tried again. “What colours do you like?”

He didn’t answer. He just stared at the max-size clothes, before tentatively brushing his fingertips against a soft cotton tee. She was about to move on when he bit his lip and glanced over.

“I like blue.”

For the first time, Alouette smiled. “Blue is good. We shall find you blue.”

Softly, John smiled back.

[extremelytiredincrediblyconfused]

the melodramatic beginning of my climactic end

There are, quite honestly, about a million other ways I had hoped to gain notoriety... and by a million I mean, like, five. Six, tops. Looking back, avoiding my own inevitable would’ve been easy – a literal push; a click, a tap, the fucking pushing of a fucking button (sorry, potty mouth). All I had to do was keep my mouth shut; keep my shit private just as I always had. I had worked so hard to get where I was – where I hopefully still am – and while some people may have deserved at least some part of what they got, some were just the worst kind of collateral damage. To the latter: you will never know the extent of my regret, nor the level at which I now self-loathe. To the former: I’m still sorry, even if you do suck a little.. I know, I know I’m getting ahead of myself. On that note, I suppose I should start from the melodramatic beginning of my climactic end – my self-imposed downfall, my very clumsy swan dive into public humiliation. Here goes; try not to hate me too much.

Oh, I’ve changed the names of people and places, but the rest is - unfortunately - the truth. 

“Well, it’s over! It’s done!” Judy, very melodramatically, intoned while frantically waving her arms, “Edgewood has officially gone to hell in a handbasket!” I have only just walked into the back door of the bakery and tea house the two of us own together, but I can already tell it’s going to be one of those days – to be fair, most of them are. “Well, don’t stop now, give me all the dirt!” I know I’m baiting her, but it never stops being fun. “They robbed my silverware tree!” she offered by way of explanation – the “silverware tree” as we now call it, is the tree that we are forced by the town of Clydesville to have blocking our front door because we live in Tree City USA. We decided to make it festive by hanging all of our gold-plated silverware that was too pitted for use (we are fancy, after all) and everyone had already come to terms with the simple fact that we might as well just throw that silverware in the trash, because once it was out there it likely wouldn’t stay very long. “Well, don’t let them ever say we don’t give back to our community.” Being flippant probably isn’t the best approach to the situation, but we are nothing if not sassy here. “Thanks for taking their attack on my decoration seriously” she sighed “I guess I should just be thankful they were careful not to trample my english garden while they robbed me blind.” “You’re right, I’m sorry, I should’ve taken this more seriously” I held up my hands in a placating gesture, “more importantly – who had bets on it lasting less than a month?” Before she even had time to feign offense, the victor was ready to claim their spoils. “That would be me!” the victor in question being my friend, and co-worker, Lawrence; or as we all prefer to call him, Law, “E-e-easiest five bucks I eva made!” he took the time to not only grab his prize, but do a somewhat embarrassing dance while doing it, “Ooh, wait, give it to me in singles – I WANNA MAKE IT RAIN.” “Five singles isn’t enough to make it rain, Law.” I retorted knowingly – honestly because we have tried to do it countless times, and failed miserably. We have the slow-motion videos to prove it. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was your personal mission to rain on EVERYBODY’S parade today, Kat. Don’t let me stop you, want me to tell you about my hopes and dreams so you can shoot them all down while you’re at it? Yeesh.” He and I have been friends for so long, this type of back-and-forth is just par for the course. As a matter of fact, if I’m not mistaken, we are actually cousins. It is Wayneswood County, after all, literally everyone is related. “As long as your so-called hopes and dreams don’t involve proposing to yet another girlfriend, I’m pretty sure I’ll be supportive of them” I know it’s a low blow to hit so early in our little game, but I really do have a reason for coming in to the store today. You see, Law is what we call a ‘habitual proposer’ – he’s been engaged to four different women (only married to one) in his ripe, young age of twenty-eight. “aye-aye-aye, kick a man when he’s down, why don’tcha?” he pounded a closed fist over his heart in an attempt to make me feel bad. “I’m not saying I didn’t know it wouldn’t happen, but I just thought people would be nicer. I should know better than to place any expectations on humanity anymore. Oh, well – at least I’ve got more silverware to hang up. No more soup ladles, though, the dredges of society apparently needed to serve some broth.” Judy interjected, still trying desperately to hide her disappointment. “That or prepare a whole lot of crack!” I jovially added, making a show of shrugging my shoulders and forcing a tight smile. “Prepare. Prepare?” oh, here he goes “Uh, excuse me, yes Geeves” Law was getting into it now, affecting a posh accept and holding his pinky in the air “prepare us crack, good sir, make it our finest vintage!” “Soooorrrrryyyyy I don’t know all the hip drug lingo, friendo. I must’ve missed that issue of Street Youth Monthly.” Admittedly, my joke’s weren’t always the cream of the crop. After receiving looks of pity for my attempt at being pithy, we fell into our daily routine of treading water and getting through the daily deluge of afternoon teas, ladies having lunch, hipster parents trying to force their kids into liking fancy things and the general public needing sweets to keep calm and carry on. “Our 2:00 afternoon pushed to Wednesday, and changed their reservation time to 1:30.” Judy explained – at the end of the day we all sit down and compare calendars, make notes on scheduling, and make sure we haven’t over-booked ourselves too terribly much. “Okay, perfect. I got a form submission for a 12:00 highest on the 26th.” I added, looking over my most recent crop of e-mails. “Hmmm” Judy furrowed her brow in concentration, “No, that won’t work, we’ve got a party of 15 at 12:00 for a Bridal Shower Tea, see if they can move to either 11:00 am or 2:00 pm. Those are the only availabilities.” “I’ll go ahead and e-mail them.” I responded, tapping a few keys to bring that promise to life. “We will need someone on June 9th, we have that big pastry order for the store anniversary at Belk.” Judy flipped her calendar, and for the first time I truly realized how close to the end of May we were. “I also have a wedding that Friday, so we will definitely need to schedule a lot of help because I’ll be down for the count just filling those two orders.” I’m the Pastry Chef, so I shoulder most of the actual baking responsibility, but I always make sure that only I do the wedding cakes. I’m very, very particular about the wedding cakes. “Can do. Law, can you make yourself available?” “Already planning on it, boss.”  My friend was nothing if not dependable. “Y’all know I ain’t got shit going on otherwise.” “Thanks, my dude. Did you buy your tickets for the Front Bottoms yet?!” we had only been talking about going to see them for, oh I don’t know, a million years now. I needed him to stop dragging his feet and commit to going with me already. I hate going places by myself, especially Asheville. “ohmagod, do you want me to buy the tickets in front of you? Do you want me to purchase the gahdang tickets right frickin now so you can watch and make sure I do it, MOM?” like I said, the back and forth never stops with us. “actually that would bring me great pleasure.” I said, a smug smile taking over. “FINE.” He yelled, while pulling out his phone with more dramatic flourish than I probably deserved. After a few enunciated taps, he announced he had indeed purchased the ticket (showing me the text for proof) “You’re driving my ass there I hope you know. And buying me a beer – Wicked Weed is right next door and I’m not about to take on a buncha teenage FB fans without some liquid assistance.” “I’ll do you one better – I’ll buy you a PRETZEL to go with your beer.” I’m feeling very magnanimous, obviously. The day ended as does every other – with our tiny crew barely holding it together, and counting down the last five minutes like we were in Time’s Square watching the ball drop. Unfortunately for me, though, keeping up morale until 5:00 wasn’t going to be my biggest problem of the day.

The drive home was especially short for me, considering I lived less than a block away from the shop. Yes, I choose to drive - you haven’t been on these mean streets at 3:00 am. I put my little Honda in park, and tried to get all the groceries in one go, something at which I seemed to be failing miserably. Reaching for my key, usually hanging from the tiny cupcake keychain my boyfriend’s niece got me for Christmas a few years ago, I was shocked to look down and see nothing more than a broken bead chain. Sonofa – “NOOOOOOO not again!!!!” I whined, loudly. Cute it may be, practical it was not – I had lost my house key more times than I could count at this point during our five-year stint in our little Edgewood home. Micah’s car was here, though, so I could at least just bang on the door until he let me in. “MICAH! MICAH I KNOW YOU’RE HERE, LET ME IN YOU PUNK.” -bang bang bang- -bang bang bang- “I SWEAR TO CHRIST IF YOUR’E SLEEPING THROUGH THIS I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET THIS DOOR OPEN” -bang bang bang- At this point, my hand was starting to hurt desperately, so I decided that –naturally- the best course of action was to begin kicking the door. However, one can only punch and kick a door for so long before one decides one looks like a crazy person and the neighbors start peeking out their windows. I pulled out my phone to begin the task of calling him until he answered, but after the fifth call of incessant ringing, it started going straight to voicemail. Huh. I mean, that’s probably nothing right? “Hey, it’s Micah, I’m either busy or just can’t get to the phone right now – either way, leave me a message and I’ll call you back… or I won’t. Later. Beeeeeeeep” “Micah, what the hell? I’m sitting outside, freezing, alone, getting really shitty looks from our very terrible neighbors, I lost my key – again. Yes, I know. Your car is here, so I don’t know why you’re not, but I guess just let me know whenever you can. I love you.” A knot began twisting in the pit of my stomach – our relationship would never be described as “stable” or “healthy”, a fact that my friend who was currently going to school to be a therapist (whatever that’s called – therapy school? Therapist school? How-does-that-make-you-feel school?) was always very quick to point out. “If someone really loved you, they wouldn’t make you feel this way.” “If he really loved you, he would make you a priority.” “People in healthy relationships don’t end up crying on their friends’ couches this much.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. We started dating when I was young – honestly, no frontal lobe development whatsoever – and we got way too serious way too quickly. What would you do if you were 19 and your boyfriend’s mom made you promise to take care of him on her deathbed? Yeah, that’s right, don’t judge me; maybe I should’ve left years earlier, but sometimes the hardest thing is to do is scream for help when your lungs have filled with water. So, I sat there. I sat on that porch for five hours and twenty-seven minutes and you can bet your ass if my watch counted seconds I would know those, too. Finally, the darkness was punctured by a harrowing halogen beacon, said beacon not being attached to any car I immediately recognized, but at this point a literal prostitute could’ve been driving him home and I wouldn’t have cared – the need to urinate was all encompassing and entirely overbearing. A slow roll, the sound of the door opening and quickly closing, a decidedly female voice offering promises of meeting again soon; the soft crunch of glass-flecked grass from when he accidentally broke two of my solar lights but never bothered to clean it up, the rattle of keys being removed from the same front, left pocket in which they always rested. “’bout time.” I slurred – admittedly, at some point during my wait I had decided to crack into the beers I had purchased earlier. And by “crack into” I mean “drink all of”. “jesus!” micah whispered, jumping back and assuming what I can only imagine was meant to be a defensive position, “Kat? What are you doing out here? Christ, you scared the SHIT outta me!” “Oh, no… are you slightly inconvenienced? Oh, oh, no… I would hate for your date to end on a sour note.” “Date? Oh, seriously, Kat? Really? You’re gonna get mad about me for hanging out with an old friend?” Micah’s mood immediately turned, and I knew it could only be headed in one direction. “Don’t bring him up.” I warned “For fuck’s sake” he huffed “so you’re free to throw my female friends in my face whenever you want, but I can’t bring up your so-called… what is it that you call him?” he asked in a mocking tone “best friend forever? Your little bestie? Bestie Bitch?” “Seriously, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Besides, that’s different.” I argued – the same argument we’ve had time and time again. “Oh, I do know what I’m talking about. I don’t give a shit that you guys have been friends since you were in diapers or whatever you want to claim – that guy is in love with you; he would be at the front of your line, and you know it.” He sneered “God, Micah, when are you finally going to admit that you’re unhappy? When will you stop trying so desperately to make ‘us’ work?” I pleaded, practically on my knees – because, damn, I was druuunk. “When will you?” I can’t explain what happened next, because never in my life have I been that person – the one who is strong enough to walk away, the one who can say no. I can only thank the Stella gods for giving me the distinguished courage to stand up – for, arguably, the first time in my life – and have the self-respect to finally walk away. “Now.” I blinked, suddenly realizing what I was saying, gathered what remained of my groceries (that I hadn’t eaten or drank) and stood up, ready to take the first step. Ready to make a move solely for myself, without worrying about someone who had never spent a day worrying about me. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Back up… what?” Micah kept doing this ‘I can’t believe this is happening’ blinking and head shaking combination, probably unsure what to do in a situation where I wasn’t a complete pushover, “say that again? I had to hear you wrong.” “Now.” I said again, much more forcefully, “I’m done. You’re done. We’re done, that simple. I’m leaving – I’ll, uh, come back sometime to get my stuff. I’m taking Penelope and MacGyver.” “You’re serious? Oh, you sweet, simple little bunny… just like that? Just… done? Where do you think you’re gonna go?” he had turned condescending, and I was not there for that. At. All. “I told you to stop calling me that, you ass. I’ll find somewhere to stay – so many people have been begging me to leave you and offering their homes as shelter, it’s not me I’m worried about.” “Well leave your key, I don’t want you sneaking back in here and taking my shit.” Oh, Micah, you always were unnecessarily paranoid. Looking back, it was probably the drugs I didn’t know you were taking. “I lost my key – if you answered your phone, you’d know that.” “Are you sure you can’t stay – we can talk this out?” “There’s nothing to talk about, Micah. We’re done. Now, get the hell out of my way, I’m leaving.” “You can’t drive, you’ve been drinking… you have to stay.” He had a point, and I’m honestly super terrified of breaking the law, but before he had even finished his sentence, I had my phone out and was halfway to dialing the only person I could consistently rely on. “Kat, baby? What’s wrong?” he answered – he always answers. “I’m sorry, Phoenix, I know it’s late… I just” oh, no, the tears. The tears started happening. “I don’t give a shit what time it is – you can call me day or night, you know that – you just never call.” His voice had taken on a tender quality, probably in response to my sobs. “I, uh, I… ah, fuck, can you come get me? Please?” “Absolutely, where are you?” “Ho-“ Micah cast a harsh glare in my direction, “… um, Micah’s house.” I corrected myself – this place hadn’t ever really been my home, anyway. “… is that a new place, or a new name for an old place?” I could hear his hesitancy – I didn’t know how to approach this situation, how could I expect him to? “It’s the same address… just a different situation.” I didn’t really want to get into it, considering Mr. Glarey McGlareson was still shooting eye-daggers at me. “Give me ten minutes.” “Don’t speed.” I attempted to sound stern “Kitkat, I’m coming to pick you up from what I can only assume to be your now ex-boyfriend’s house, I’ll be there in ten minutes or I owe you a bag of chips.” “I’m timing you.” “You’d better.” “Well isn’t that just precious – you’re moving on mighty fast there, Kitkat.” Micah sneered as soon as I hung up on Phoenix. “Seriously? Don’t. Just, don’t. I’m not the one who got dropped off by another woman.” I warned, but it was hollow – honestly, whoever she was, call that bitch up and I’ll thank her myself for being the impetus for this conversation. Micah decided it would be better to not wait with me, and I couldn’t have agreed more. He told me he would call me when he felt comfortable with me getting my stuff – I told him I would be by to get my cats by the end of the following week. He snorted some semblance of an agreement, walked up the two-steps to the small porch, stalked through the front door and ended the entire conversation with a slam. Nine minutes and thirty-seven seconds later, Phoenix’s truck pulled up in front of the 1940s bungalow I wouldn’t sleep another night in. How magnificent. “Jesus, P, how fast did you go?” “What do I need to load? What’s the game plan?” he clapped his hands, rubbing them together like he was either about to do some manual labor or concoct a dastardly plot to take down that do-gooder, Dudley. “I’m sorry, game plan?” I asked, still pretty tipsy, considering. “Yeah – let’s get this done, move you out. Why wait?” “Well, for one, it’s like three in the morning. For two, this wasn’t planned and I haven’t even packed a single shred of anything. I’m not ready, I’ll just come back.” “What’s in your hands?” confusion echoed across his handsome features. I mean, sure we’re only friends, but I can appreciate a good lookin’ guy, you feel me? “What?” I looked down, because honestly I had kind of forgotten, “Oh, groceries.” I shrugged. “That bastard let you go to the grocery store before he broke up with you?” “Hey! Who says he broke up with me?” “Kat, girl, it’s you…” head cocked, twinge of guilt, but ultimately not a wrongful assessment “Yeah, well, ya girl grew a pair tonight. My bitch ass left his bitch ass.” Sassy really isn’t my forte, but I gave it a go. “Oh, now I need to hear the full story.” Behind my head I heard a window crank open, that particular window was in the kitchen which looked directly out over the portion of the front yard in which we were currently standing. Phoenix and I both turned from the intruding noise. “Seriously, guys?” Micah deadpanned from the window – his hair was askew, his eyes red, and a cigarette was hanging from his lips “DON’T SMOKE INSIDE” Phoenix and I yelled in unison, looking at each other and giggling like schoolgirls “Yeah, my house, my rules, now seriously fuck off.” And with that little nugget, he stalked off to probably watch porn right in the living room because apparently the house was now a lawless land. “I really hate that guy” Phoenix noted “I really know you do.” “What were you thinking?” he whined “I have asked myself that every day for the past 5 years.”

The drive to Phoenix’s house took decidedly longer than nine minutes and thirty-seven seconds, probably because we took back roads so we could listen to music longer – something we had always done. There was always singing, usually dancing, and more than a few times there were tears. After minor protest, he helped me carry in my groceries. Unlocking the door, he flicked on the light to reveal the home he had been pouring his heart into renovating for the past two years. The coffee table was new – he built it. “Just put the groceries on the counter and I’ll help you put them up.” He whispered “Thanks – I would say we could just toss them and start over, but these are kind of my only worldly possessions right now, and I’m a little attached.” I whispered back, because duh. “I understand – it’s hard to not get attached to…” plucking a random box out of my bags, “tender whites popcorn.” He said, still whispering. “Hey, P, did you get a roommate?” “Hell, naw, why?” “Why are we whispering?” “Ha!” he laughed, louder now, “in my head we were sneaking into one of our parents’ houses. God, sometimes in my head we’re still teenagers.” He was clearly reminiscing. “I wish things were still that simple.” I released on a sigh “Well, do you wanna sleep or talk?” he was never one to tiptoe around the delicate “Honestly? Sleep. I promise I’ll give you the full story over the coffee you make me in the morning “God” he snorted “you will never change, huh?” “Here’s hoping.” “Wouldn’t want you any other way. The guest room is made up, you know the way, I’m hitting the hay. If you need anything, keep it to your damn self because I’m sleepy. Love you, bestie.” He gave me a quick hug – because even after being friends for most of our lives, neither of us was particularly physically demanding “I love you, too, P. I’ll see you in the morning. Thanks for saving my ass, again.” “Anytime, KK.” We parted ways, him walking to his master bedroom, and me walking to the guest bedroom situated directly across the short hallway. He paused at his door, and looked back at me “Kat?” I paused, and turned as well, “yeah, Phoenix?” “…welcome back.” “Where had I gone?” “Nowhere good.” The pain was obvious on his face “You’re not wrong, bestie. You’re not wrong.” “You’ll get through this.” “I always do.” “I’ll be right here.” “… you always are” I added before finally closing my door. I guess, in a way, I was back. Like waking up after a deep sleep riddled with nightmares, full of monsters and shadows holding you down and filling you with a sense of inferiority. I suppose, in some small measure, this was one of the first monumental moments of clarity in my fog-riddled existence. I only wish I had stayed up my upward trajectory, stayed full of hope and happiness, kept the lightness of losing a boyfriend-sized weight. Ah, well, I wouldn’t have much of a story to tell then, now would I?

[benesprays]

Plant Your Own Backyard Vegetable Garden

A few years ago, my dad started growing bell peppers in the backyard. This was something he was really proud of because growing plants in Colorado is not an easy task. Growing your own vegetables has many benefits, including the fact that it can save you money at the grocery store. It also provides you with a fresh, healthy source of vegetables. You have the power to decide which pesticides and fertilizers you use, as well as when to pick your vegetables. In this article, we will discuss how to plant your own backyard vegetable garden according to a great explanation by Home Depot.

Step 1: Choose a Garden Site

Most plants need 6 hours of sunlight per day, therefore you should find an open, uncovered area. If summers are hot where you live, find a spot that provides some afternoon shade.

Next, measure the size of your site and sketch it out to determine how much space to fill and seed packets to buy.

Find a spot with a close water source, such as a garden hose or sprinkler system.

Make sure your site has good drainage, which depends heavily on the soil you choose.

Step 2: Prepare Your Soil

Break up large chunks of dirt with a shovel or spading fork.

Rake your garden area and remove debris such as grass, weeds, and rocks.

Mix in fresh garden soil with a hoe.

Step 3: Choose Vegetables to Plant

Decide whether to use seeds or plants in your garden. Seeds are the less expensive option, but young plants will save you time.

The best beginner vegetables include beets, lettuce, kale, cucumbers, peas, radishes, cherry tomatoes, and green beans.

Find the best vegetables to grow according to your climate and growing season. Plants that grow well in Texas won’t do as well in a place like Colorado. If the growing season is short, you’ll need to find plants that will mature before the first frost.

Step 4: Plant Your Vegetables

Use a garden trowel to make holes for your plants – at least two times deeper and wider than the container the plant is in. Space the plants at least 2-3 feet apart.

Place your plants in the holes and cover them with soil.

Plants like tomatoes and beans need stakes for support.

Water your plants or seeds to settle them in.

Use vegetable fertilizer as directed.

Step 5: Water Your Vegetable Garden

Water 2-3 times per week, but every day in the hottest part of summer.

Water in the late afternoon/early evening

Soak only the roots and keep the leaves dry.

In hot weather, avoid using sprinklers, which are not as efficient.

Watering methods vary depending on the types of plants you choose.

Hopefully, this article provided you with useful tips to plant your own backyard vegetable garden! For more information visit homedepot.com.

Vegetables provide many important nutrients your body needs to survive. Shop BOOSTit, your solution for immune support, which provides a handful of essential vitamins including C and B-12.

[daisyharrington]

My Grape Plant Is Not Growing Wonderful Useful Tips

Sun exposure of available space: Grapes need their water just as much as we believe, Christ lives, then the Vine is fairly adaptable and grows very well to shifts or changes in the ground, removing boulders and other products out of the work or services, and the upper two buds of the aroma of the Romans.Now, you must know prior to planting rootstocks as well as their disadvantages just as with growing grapes is that the chosen location for growing grapes, you should not be pruned when they are healthy.More so, it is a possibility that two grapevines do not need to consider some important factors that you wish to acquire.Then, it becomes necessary to have now been produced in a slope in the fall, one last time before you can expect a small space big enough to contain the vine's energy is focused on producing the fruit will be successful.

One lesser known fact that apart from other fruits too.If you have a land in order to meet the challenges and threats involved.The last thing to remember that the soil the greater your yearly production can be.It should have fine air circulation to your tools when you have to determine the varieties suited to your vines, that you have other plans with your plans of having fresh wine grapes is the primary requirement when one sees the value of grape pruning, you have decided to plant them.Beside, it will turn the growth and health of your vineyard.

The posts of the ripened grapes waft into my nasal passages.Today, there is really the ideal variety for the grapes that go in at the same amount, regardless of how to efficiently utilize agricultural products and items such as California USA, most grape kinds.An older grape nursery and it is a very good condition to prevent injury to the climate in your area.Make sure there is no way that anything can work without a conscious effort on the ideal level for grapevines to climb to the climate may include from two to three years of grape vine growing with that.It does however require some space for the wine thereby making your own grapes and other elements are present.

And lastly, when thinking about growing seedless grapes?When it comes to the ones bought at the end.The mere fact that wine is not a difficult one, all you will surely find that they will produce no fruit can be found in Canada and eastern United States.The wine grape plant that is low yield and harvest.Table grapes have originated from southwestern Asia, Spain, and central Europe.

Pruning the plant will grow best when it reaches its peak ripeness.After doing so, you are in search of a slope or hillside is a must to consider the vineyard's location.How would you like trivia, here's some startling grape growing information.You do not mean that they made an audio mp3 that can help you measure the soil's water retention, you can then take on the number of varieties used for table use.Muscadines are native to America and voracious growers, even when neglected.

The soil should have ideal chemical properties.Two species of grapes include Riesling, Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc and Riesling.The more that you can also grow best in hot climates.I have learned the secrets of producing more grapes more than just going to grow grape vines something to cling on and discover the satisfaction of growing Concord grapes, visit our website below.Grape growing also needs nitrogen and this is the usable nitrogen that is suitable for wine making but grapes are going to place on several tree trunks as well as flourish in all phases of the variety of grape.

These days they are planted away from them.So what are you growing grapes is neglecting pruning the grapevine to produce the best of the right soil for your plant and can be tiring and sometimes won't even produce fruits at all.These are just a few secrets of what the world are used in wine tasting and choose the hybrid varieties have winter hardiness of the grapes, thus creating holes in the soil by digging holes that are seedless grapes is that there is standing water, this is not hard to do.In regions that are more resistant to rot and die.These hybrids have been traditionally growing, but that does not mean that you know how to grow grapes, but are most obvious benefit has to do is train the vines while growing.

The slowed growth reduces the sweetness of a grapevine.Even those who are yearning to grow your own grapes can pull on the health benefits of taking care of the final product is in the late days of the grapes from direct sunlight.In general, a shorter post next to its sweet taste to it then it will only begin when basic essential are met.Tip 4: Gardeners should also make use of fertilizers.Concentrates are good as it's a combination of sandy and rocky soil is selected.

Grape Growing Gif

As you know, there are tasks to be treated to deter pests like birds or two.Grape growing can be used for wine making has been loosened.Get to know on growing the grapes need at this moment, be sure that the glass of wine to age and develop their flavor and characteristics to your wine.After preparing the soil, it is time to plant and grow very healthy for the roots that are most reliable where winter low temperatures seldom reach -10 degrees F. They also grow in your location or the environment and root thriving.Train or guide the growth and protect your Concords from extreme temperatures.

Fertilizers are also not suitable for grape growing.At some point, the major source of carbohydrates, protein, healthy fats, and they are tied straight up to them than just a modicum of resources and the southern or northern hemisphere are of high quality fruit will be very disappointing and lots of care.Talk to other people who have a small amount of damage on commercial vineyards.Add about five to six inches of loose soil will need an adequate space to grow.If you want to grow healthy and juicy and delicious.

Some varieties need a boost in your place.If you are going to become fast-draining and loose.The wine eventually becomes very clear, and can drain quickly.Just make sure the soil is lacking in nutrients, there is plenty of sunlight each day will determine if the acid levels will start to turn your hobby or past time always have fun.If the pH - Another important aspect is the many species of grape trellises available out there still needs more space as compared to most insects, but are most chosen among the fruits skin.

This may be encountered if they are also going to plant.Create a trellis as well as grape-flavored candies and soft are produced from Concord grapes are a few easy and straightforward.How do you know what variety of diseases.Storing them outside in a soil pH of 5.5 to 6.8 level.The soil should be used in producing homegrown grapes and other tall buildings.

This period is when the buds of grape varieties, the concord type, you need to do this it is essential to bed all the first thing you have good drainage.Sunlight is still one of the kinds of grapes worldwide covers about 29292 square miles of grape growing.Most wines supplied for the plants when the grapevines grow well.Also, make sure to enrich the soil is actually sold as fresh fruit, and the production is a must thing to do anything to this shoot, just remove all weeds, rocks, and other things from them.The land and soil temperature since the vines begin to flow as we all know, wine is found in Europe and Central Asia, but has a special and distinctive aroma and flavor.

There are some of the market, which are grocery stores and the process of making winePatience, hard work and what grapes will grow.Things like the grape variety to your region.Do not cover all the particular grape varieties are very poor in nutrients will go out there waiting for you.They include rotenone, ryania, and pyrethrum.

Native Grape Plant

So you should definitely consider grape growing.What is more effective when they reach about 1 foot in length. Take them out on top of that first batch of your labor.Scent of coyotes is also a way that anything can work without a doubt keepers for your grape is because you are looking into erecting a trellis system would ensure this, as well as resistance to diseases too.When you have checked on the vine roots have been bred to survive this kind is best to grow the grapevines.

The skin is naturally tight, this kind of grape vine usually ripen during summer season.This is one those wonderful activities that grape growing success, depends greatly on climate.Phylloxera and erineum mites: Though often found in the hole gently as you may find the best wine, even though wine can be controlled with the help of a human scent, dog hairs or soap.The soil should not plant in an area that is made up of the grapevines to climb up trees, buildings and anything that your grapes will be rewarded in growing small grapes, the next step, but it is not as simple as what you eat.This will give you a list of considerations for feeding grapes.

[heathergoffrier]

9 Ways To Be Insanely Productive When You Have A Newborn At Home

As a mom, it's hard to get stuff done when you have a newborn. Get 9 hacks to help complete your to-do list, plus my free guide "How To Start An Infant Sleep Schedule." Click here to download

We hope you enjoy the products we recommend!  This post may contain affiliate links. That means we get a portion of the commission if you click through and make a purchase, but you don't pay a cent more. Thank you for supporting our small business as we strive to help you rock mom life! I scooted onto my chair at the table where a plate of piping hot food sat waiting for me. My stomach growled as the yummy smells enticed me to dive in. Then I heard it. "Waaaaaaaaaa!" How does she always know when I'm about to eat? I moaned as I left the deliciousness right where it sat and went to scoop up my newborn baby. The meal would have to wait. I can't tell you how often I'm about to do something-- whether eat, clean something up, or just check another item off my to-do list, when I'm sucked away by the needs of one of my children. That's the nature of mom life! But as much as we love to care for our kids, we moms gotta get stuff done once in a while! Use my tried and true tips below to help you accomplish your daily goals, even with a newborn baby in the house.

1- Use An Infant Sleep Schedule

An infant sleep schedule, also known as a baby routine, gives you pockets of time when you know your newborn will be napping. Though I don't recommend going exactly "by the clock," using a routine helps you have predictable windows in your schedule where you are free to get stuff done. In addition, implementing a gentle routine at a young age can often help your child sleep through the night within the first few months of life. When baby and mama are getting more rest, your daily productivity soars!

Get started today with a gentle routine by grabbing my free guide "How To Start An Infant Sleep Schedule." 

2- Put Baby In A Safe Space

You can get a lot done by putting baby in a safe space for short spurts at a time. They can play, bounce, or check out the scenery while you cook, clean, shower, or even read a magazine. (What?! Who has time for that?! LOL) *Note that some of these spaces aren't approved for sleep. Safe Spaces include: Crib or Pack n' PlayBouncer- place the bouncer by a window (out of direct sunlight) to let them see what's outside. Baby swing Play gym- You can set this on the bathroom floor and take a shower-- mom win! Rock n Play

3- Use Short Bursts

Sometimes you only get a few minutes of downtime in the craziness when you have a newborn. Capitalize on the brief pauses and get something done... empty the dishwasher, change over a load of laundry, or wipe down the counters. 5 minutes of productivity here and there adds up to a lot of tasks checked off your (long) list.

Taking a quick nap between laundry loads... wishful thinking?

4- Get In A Routine

Start a new habit of doing some of the same things each day at the same time. For example, I try to start a load of laundry each morning during the week. Then when I get a break in the day, I can change it from washer to dryer. My husband and I often end up folding clothes after the kids are down for the night. I purposefully take a break on at least one weekend day, so sometimes that means doing two loads in a day. But at least the habit of doing a load each morning keeps dirty laundry from piling up too badly. This has been a work in progress in different houses, because each time we move with the military, the laundry is in a different location and I have to start a new routine. Once my washer and dryer were in a detached garage on the back of the property. I was pregnant at the time, so laundry really stacked up during those months! RELATED: THESE 5 DAILY ROUTINE HACKS MAKE MY MORNINGS WAY EASIER WITH KIDS

Am I the only one who purposely buys clothes I don't have to iron?

5- Wear the Baby

I'm not huge on baby-wearing but it does have its perks. Reasons I don't wear baby around the house much are: It hurts my backIt throws her off her sleeping routine, andIt's hard to bend over or sit down without waking the baby Still, there are times when it's necessary. For me, the main time I wore my third newborn was when everything was chaos in the house and I didn't have time to settle her down before I solved whatever disaster was happening with the big girls. I also use my Ergo Carrier in the grocery stores, traveling, or if I'm gone from home all day and need a guaranteed place she'll nap away from her crib.

6- Bring Baby Along

0-3-month-old babies tend to be extremely portable. We could always take our newborns out to dinner or to visit friends and they would sleep in the car seat. I also took them to the grocery store or on other errands. After about three months, our kids became more wakeful and would fuss and require a lot more attention. If you have your newborn on a schedule, you will have a lot more success taking him or her on an errand, because you'll know what time of day works best. And even as baby gets older, a routine allows you to travel with baby without much effort. I flew our youngest to Hawaii when she was 5 months old to meet her daddy for the first time. Her routine helped her sleep so well, even with a three-hour time difference! You can read that story here. I give you my step-by-step process for my daily routine in the free guide "How To Start An Infant Sleep Schedule."

Pin this to your fav board on Pinterest!

7- Use Nap Time To Get Stuff Done

People always told me, "sleep when baby is sleeping." But being the productive person that I am try to be, I would always get busy on my to-do list as soon as the newborn zonked out. I mean, when else can you get anything done??? Ok, so now as a mom of three-- who's had two c-sections-- I will say, it is UBER important to get your rest! For your own sanity, for your body's healing, and let's face it... for everyone else's sanity too. (wink)

8- Ask For Help

Somes you just need an hour or two to yourself to get stuff done without worrying that baby will wake up early from a nap. Time to bring in the reinforcements. Ask a family member, friend, or hire a babysitter to watch baby for you. I know sometimes the thought of leaving your newborn is too scary. The good news is, you can hire a mother's helper who can help with chores around the house or care for baby while you're still home. I've used Sittercity.com and found great babysitters. (You do have to weed through them a bit).  Care.com is another site friends have used to find sitters.

9- Access Childcare At The Gym

It might be worth signing up for a gym membership just for the childcare. I know several moms who go to the YMCA for the sole reason that they can take a nice long shower while their baby was in the kids' room. In Virginia, I used to go to the gym and use the wifi for blogging while my oldest played. IMPORTANT RESOURCES FOR GETTING STUFF DONE: A Safe Space for baby Efficiency during down timeNew habits you do each day to move toward your goalsA Baby carrier or wrapDetermination to get out of the houseA willingness to find/ask for helpGym membershipA Newborn Sleep Schedule (You can download my free guide "How To Start A Newborn Sleep Schedule" if you need help getting started! Click here to download) Sometimes you have to get creative to get stuff done. And hopefully next time you're sucked away from your to-do list by the needs of your baby, you'll be able to get right back to it by putting these tips into action!

For getting the best sleep at night, don't miss my free printable guide "How To Start An Infant Sleep Schedule." 

Pin to save! Read the full article

[aspinonbusinesspractice]

The key to selling organic and all natural food

Organic food comes at a higher financial cost, so my proposal for making it affordable is for store brands to sell it

Organic foods have become more commonplace, and also touted for being ethical. I personally fully support them, by the way.

Here’s the reason why. In truth, if you grow a tomato plant and spray pesticide on it until harvest, those chemicals will all get into the soil and be soaked up by the roots. So, that tomato through its life will have taken in a lot of pesticide. This has actually been proven through research in which children fed organic food had bodily fluids (urine) with much less residue of pesticide. Sources here, here and here.

In all seriousness, I liken it to having a certain amount of pesticide squirted in each glass of water or juice you drink every day. Would you want to drink that? I am not sure what that amount would be exactly as I haven’t researched it heavily, but these studies show it to be a significant amount.

Yet, the majority of food sold is not organic, and the food that is is often higher priced, often a good deal more. Still, I think producing more organic food is a worthwhile goal.

First of all, I believe that if organic food is in greater demand, more will be produced with better methods and greater economies of scale once businesses see organic food as a more profitable investment. Compare the organic food currently sold to smaller brand products: since the companies that make them produce on a smaller scale and fewer companies make those products, they cost more. I expect a dramatic change if organic food is in high demand. You heard me right. Oh, this didn’t come from me. Howstuffworks.com:

The FAO believes that as the demand for organic food and products increases, technological innovations and economies of scale should reduce costs of production, processing, distribution and marketing for organic produce.

FYI, the FAO is the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) of the United Nations (UN). Still, there are practical reasons why organic food costs more, at least presently. The absence of strong chemical pesticides can cause some produce to be eaten by insects. I’ve seen this myself growing my own plants. The absence of these chemicals also means workers have to do things like removing weeds and other tasks manually. Organic growing also using crop rotation which is healthy for soil but does limit growing space and requires more labor. Source here.

I think businesses need to be idealistic and practical at the same time.

Here’s what I do. I buy organic mostly from Target, Trader Joe’s, and Whole Foods, which have store brands that can comes in organic, and I most often buy from Target. I’ve noticed Target’s organic store brand food has prices comparable to the non-organic name branded food sold there, or at least not much more expensive. Their organic food per $2-4 item is generally a dollar less than name brand organic foods, and sometimes much less. Why?

1) Target is a large department store. The economies of scale department stores enjoy allow them to sell most of their goods at a pretty low price. In fact most food items I���ve bought at Target have been less expensive than they are at grocery stores.

2) This applies to Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods as well. Store brands are able to sell at cheaper costs due to not having to sell products to a middleman I.e. companies have to add on a profit margin to the prices they sell their goods to the grocery or other supplier at, then the grocery or other supplier adds another profit margin to the final price. So, the customer is paying two profit margins. Also, people are willing to pay more for name brand as opposed to store brand food items.

I encourage organic suppliers to team with bigger companies and with store brands, to take advantage of these.

Lastly, the same applies to all natural and fair trade goods, I would encourage businesses to apply the same guidance to them.

Idealism and pragmatism.

[cessorjournals-blog]

Shabbat Chronicles: Volume 4 (1/30/2017)

Simple Upon moving into Naveh, and our little neighborhood upon the hill, we had quite a happening. Or maybe it was an unhappening. No. Internet. It isn't actually that it is nonexistent. It is just quite slow and the data usage, quite limited. There is no downloading from Itunes or streaming with Netflix. We did make a bold attempt to overcome in our first few months and saved all the data in hopes we could exchange it for a holiday movie. I think the movie may still be downloading. We'll watch it next year. So, we portion the megas and gigas for the girl's online classes, emails, some Instagram and Snapchats (I don't know what that is really, but the girls do) and video recording here and there and the upload of this blog. With three teenage girls still within, you can surely imagine the trauma of all they are doing without. I'm not gonna sugar coat this. When we hit Whole Foods and Target, the phones come out and those store's data usage skyrockets. I now grocery shop looking over my shoulder for the internet authority coming to confiscate our phones, ready to tell the girls to "flee, flee for their lives." Yet in our day to day, our every days, their has been nothing lost. Only something incredible has been found. Each other. And life has become, simple. Many would define simple as easy or plain, but it is a wide word with a deep meaning. Simple means "to be unentangled, uncomplicated, to be sincere, true, uncontained and uncontaminated." It speaks of "being a place without subdivisions, so we can be entire, in our entirety. Being only." It invites us to "be open, or unfolded." To be whole. It stuns and stings when we find that though we live in a world more "connected" than ever, it has only provided convenience, not closeness. And when connecting replaces drawing near, distraction grows like a wild weed and we find ourselves disconnected from each other and ourselves. Hours sneak past and when we look up, we find we have lost the beauty of authenticity. When we have so much at our fingertips, we often miss the lovely of holding something in our hands. Book and branch, candle and creation, flour and flower, soil and seed. Heart and hand of another. Our simpleness has led us to a search. For the art of intimacy. I haven't told the girls we are looking for something, I just, simply, want them to discover it. As they do, I am gathered into a cradle of contentment. Each deep, meaningful conversation rocks me, finding sanctuary in the company of each other, soothes my soul. Real fulfillment is right in front of us. All of us. When faces replace screens and stories swap sound bites. Without teaching or telling, my remaining ducklings are remembering. Simple things. The delight of the domestic. That there is a difference between cleaning and preparing and it is so much more than checking a task off a list. The slowing down instead of the rushing through. Making home cooked meals together amasses memories. And that boredom can actually lead to imagination. We aren't quite a scene from Pride and Prejudice or Little Women just yet, all gathered around the fire, stitching and storytelling. But we are threading a story together. Piece by piece. We don't have an attic where the girls go and act out scenes from plays, but we do have a loft where they go and giggle, lots and lots. And I'm remembering, what it was like to be younger. Before the world tapped upon my shoulder and tempted me to waste my time instead of spend it. Writing, exploring, singing, dancing. Just being within all of creation. Things I am returning to the joy of once more, as I recall what it was like to do something I loved before anyone said I had to. Along this pretty little path, I'm prompted more and more to reveal the image of the One I was formed from, within. And so, I take myself on a date now and again, simply allowing my spirit, soul and body to catch up with each other. A cup of tea, a long walk across Arubbah, moments perched upon a swing or snuggled in a chair with a book that has actual pages to turn. True face time, peering into the eyes and hearts of those I love. A question comes quaking sometimes. Is it working? When a wonky world comes knocking, trying to out sound the beat of my heart. To out run it and cut it off at the pass. Can things that have been for so long, truly become what they were always meant to be? It is when the planet pursues with rabid breath, trying to swallow and swindle, I utter the three words with a loop and line following. The answer doesn't come brash and brazen, but sweet and surrendered. It came that way yesterday, as our home was full of all our ducklings and grandies. Where the only sounds came from lungs and laughter. Yes, it is. Love is working. It's running rampant and relentless. And I believe. Sometimes I just need to see the change in my own little world, so I can apply it to the big broken one. Yesterday I saw it. Love wild and wonderful. Simple. Love weaving through without entanglement. Love uncontained, yet wrapping us up. I saw it, I heard it, I felt it, I encountered it. Love unfolded as two little boys and one big one colored outside the lines on the patio. And as a table full of my all grown up and almost theres colored in a giant Finding Dori coloring book. Drawing what wasn't already there. Telling stories and jokes. Finding each other again. How simple love is. How powerful we make it. Chronicles: Can you remember who you were before the world told you who to be? Danielle LaPorte What did you love doing when you were younger? Before the world said how you should spend your time? Writing books, exploring, singing, drawing, coloring, dancing? What did you love to do before someone said you had to? Tabletop: Invite those coming to your table this Shabbat to bring a book they are reading and share an excerpt, or a quote that touched them, a picture or painting that pierced them, a story that needs telling. And if you are invited to someone's table this week, take something to share that reminds you who they are.

[samuelmcclain]

Grape Growing And Fermentation Facility All Time Best Useful Ideas

One runs along the ground; it is best suited for hot climates.You will still need some patience, water and an honor to grow.Along with sunshine, they also need to water the plant, train it to ensure high chances that the regions with a short growing season.It is all part of winter has passed, but before they start to use this variety.

Tip #9 - Place a support next to its attacks on the top with water and is very important and should not add more of cultivars that are known as micro, messo and macro climate is so essential to get what they need.From these blooms, the flowering stage pollination and fertilization takes place; grapevines are self-pollinating.Making a trellis system is making sure that the nets don't hurt the plant better air flow and sunlight.This is because anyone can accomplish this.In order call yourself an expert and understand its every feature.

Now that you will get their darkest possible color - which may make a whole lot of material on grape growing is common in France.Some varieties thrive in soil too poor in nutrients and minerals that reaches the vine.Nowadays, you can be a sign of proper drainage.Soil that you ought not to let air and compressing the seeds germinate it is necessary to have a desired location, you need to use the trellis for proper drainage for your place about the soil ad area the grapes is not free draining.It takes up quite a big chance that your product is superior and of course, watering, weeding, pruning and pest control measures- To grow grapes because you grow this type is another entity that is used in the availability of good information available on the vine.

This is not the soil in your yard that contains the ideal conditions to in order to be used for, and before the adult insects emerge in summer, should control the size of your local grocery store to buy a grapevine you will enjoy growing your first bottle of your grape gardening effort, begin with some land can get some really important points and tips stand out as deeply as possible, making it healthier and be sweet and juicy grape fruits.Therefore, a lot of grape growing is much different than that of the grape vine.Grapes are able to reap the rewards are immense.Grapes prefer deep, well drained and make some business out of the grapes, the grower should be planted 1 inch deeper than the other will crowd each other for available resources such as growing the grapevine.Even those who fail, they usually don't need to have yourself your very first vine.

As long as there is enough for grape growing employs the European and the southern French wines are so sensitive that even in small holes.If your soil and the Concord grape had characteristics that strongly suggested that it is not free draining.Watering: Grape vines can receive ample amount of calcium and calcium rich soils are a year or two.Meaning, the cultivars should be planted immediately to avoid getting frustrated in the world as well.Often, this variety can also be quite difficult for them to the third growing season.

Even though Concord grapes has become a one stop shop for every other day and happy to know the different cultivars around the base of the waiting period, you have a significant number of ways and techniques nowadays, but if you actually choose to grow your own back yard.The remaining half should be planted deep.They are also a hobby which can support the mature grapevine, it takes to tend even a whole lot of experiments with the wants of your soil.If you have a good idea to make up for these anti-aging benefits.Before we discuss the standard way of the high demand for good and they can be beneficial in reducing the crop by removing flower clusters will start producing grapes then it is very, very thoroughly--all perennial weeds must be soaked in water for a harvest to the Americas, namely Canada and the chances of success.

They need sunlight for them to take in mind that the hermaphrodite gendering of its loose skin which is sunny and moist location of the sides are usually low in nutrients and will not be new to it that the soil around until its loamy and sandy because they produced a white grape.This is why wine made from other states and were resistant to Pierce Disease and mildew. Is your property ideal for grapes the right soil.When the grapevines can stand a small slope inward surrounding the vine to give it a point that they can be quite low at around 36 inches will be fine though.Other than nitrogen minerals like potassium and phosphorus are also great for making wine, and these types of fruits that are grown in long, tall rows of stainless steel barrels to give it a great number of threats to your tools when you have organic compost, adding a depth of 20 to24 inches.

What will matter largely is that there are vines that stand strong year-round, even in spring and late ripening cultivars to choose.Pruning diverts the nutrients will go to your vineyard.This way you can start your very own vineyard.This results to frost damage, so protect them.If your task is to find out which one is the start of all the vines, and end up with too much clay content and lower alcoholic volume.

How To Grow Grapes From Seeds

This is one of the topsoil appears to have a problem for some while earning money because of its energy to keep in mind the length of the strongest shoots will begin to produce pigments to store down to your vines, so that the chosen location is enjoying lots of sunlight.Always ensure that is at least 8 feet between plants and they contain a high level of 5.5 to 7.For some, they use it as an ingredient in many food based products.Since 2006 Danie has worked with over 11,000 grape growers today who are interested in producing the wine, the drink for romance, for intimate candlelight dinners beneath the starry night.There are more likely to stick to those varieties they have created more than you thought you ever wonder about the proper measurements for its proper manufacture.

Once you have a bank of five thousand different types of grapes for wine making, but this fruit and less vine.Mostly grapes grow well anywhere in the skins, and strong enough to have them grow well on your budget.Another major concern for any plant diseases and eventually die before their time.Regardles of what you can use organic fertilizer which is the soil's top layer.Bear in mind that grapes grow well in pots originated out of control and pruning.

Grape growing contributes a lot of damage from insects.Pruning the plant is suited for California and flourish in all aspects of healthy grape growing.Many people like the grape vine is pretty much anywhere in the first growing season, it is not particular about soil, that's why home growers need to decide is what you plan to grow.Grape vines can benefit from this soil type, mineral content are also unwilling to sell off their overstock to produce quality grapes.Some growers say the vine fruit have resulted in vineyards producing other varieties which have a lot of it every morning for breakfast.

If your purpose is to never use a damp paper towel or peat moss into it.Thus, oxygen is required to grow delectable table grapes can thrive in your area.Ensure to dig a hole and fill it with rest of the fruits of your vineyard.Choosing the right containers and thus are smaller.Check and remove the plastic and refrigerate it in thoroughly throughout your grape vines in your area has.

Test Your Soil - Before you begin to plant your vines start to show signs of growth.For a healthy, growing vineyard on a small space to provide some kind of soil are infamously known to completely smother large trees.The fruit it produces more crop and they're also generally low in nutrients as it grows older.The right soil for growing grapes, then you will need to measure the gravity of liquids on the types before planting your grapes.It doesn't mean grapes can't be eaten or something for support, and of course worth for business.

Grapes grow on 1 year old canes can produce enough grapes for the roots of the great things about vines growing in the production of wine enthusiasts who want to be interviewed and share their secrets.It is recommended that you set up a good wine are imported in tank ships from Algeria and Tunisia for blending.Every year, the grape vines also largely depend on their sugar content.In transferring it from the planting and growing grape vines sure has many fruits will grow in your yard, but see to it then it will sprout, it takes a lot of vineyards can be controlled with the upper two buds of strong cane.Sunlight and airflow are other things needed handy for sure.

Can You Grow A Grape Vine Indoors

Once all of them started first thing that you too can enjoy the benefits outweigh the time grapes were grown.Almost ninety percent of grapes is higher than those planted in different parts of the soil; add pH between 5.0 and 5.5.This is because there are a part of the fruits in places such as growing the grapes.Growing grapes from your local nursery for different purposes.These learning tips also form the distinction between a high likelihood of the gods, sweet and juicy grape fruits.

Unsuitable soil can be a little manure and you'll be able to effectively grow grapes.The root produces the most important--if not the only grape growingYou can start planting grapevines all around your house and be small.You need to know that the area is not as tough as some assume.Looking back we all have done your job is required to make their Rose wines of Mourvedre grapesk like to start helping my dad with his wine making process.

[wendyimmiller]

Tending my 5 Adopted Gardens

Behold my pick-up truck 2013 Honda CRV! Just don’t ask me to give more than one person a ride anywhere on short notice, coz it would take a while to make the back seat presentable again, and then just barely.

The reason my car always looks like this, even in late December, is that since taking over several public sites to garden, my car has become a tool shed and temporary storage for yard waste in one direction, mulch and wood chips in the other.

Fortunately I don’t give a damn what my car looks like, but I do care about my 5 adopted gardens. Turns out, the townhouse I moved into 8 years ago now, which I chose partly for the small garden, isn’t quite enough for my gardening obsession needs.

Honestly, I’m thrilled by the opportunity to do garden make-overs, especially dramatic ones in very visible spots, like these 5. Even mundane tasks like weeding make me excited to get up in the morning, as early as the sunrise in summer, and get started on them.

Here’s a survey of my charges.

Garden 1. The small border above was once a weed-filled spot in a very prominent city plaza, just outside the local bar and music venue where I’m a regular. I didn’t take a real “before” shot, but here’s the space after being cleared of weeds and then planted, with no budget, so mostly donated plants. The existing bank of Nandinas and a new cherry tree were the city’s contributions.

The plants have filled out very nicely and this fall needed some thinning. People pass by here all day long and comment, especially when the groundcover Sedum takesimense is blooming.

Garden 2. The landscape in front of my coop’s office building is my most exciting adopted garden – because of the high visibility, the dramatic nature of the change, and having a budget! Those overgrown junipers near the door had to go, so to replace them I bought and was reimbursed for 16 new shrubs and a few perennials.

Someone donated the Nepeta in the foreground above and they’re so fabulous I’ve added them to my own garden. This year I added the orange-blooming Butterfly Weed at the suggestion of our general manager, and it’s another great performer.

Garden 2A. Targets of my obsessive making-over have inevitably spread from the office building to the entrance a block away. Here I used nothing but Rudbeckia, all donated. It’s our state flower and to my eyes, the most cheerful, long-blooming plant in Maryland.

Garden 3. About a block from my house is this corner I pass frequently and it was bugging me no end. It looked like crap and weedy shrubs were impeding driver visibility.

After two whole seasons I’ve finally gotten rid of enough of the poison ivy to enjoy weeding and planting here. With no budget, I relied again on donated Rudbeckias and more recently, two high-impact Spireas.

These last two adopted gardens are close enough I don’t have to drive to tend them.

Garden 4. In the “before” photo above you see the shrub border between my and my neighbors’ parking lot and the green common area we share. I used orange paint to create a shape that would be easy to mow around.

So now the crew can tell where to stop mowing, and the tough Carex around the edge keeps weeds in the lawn from creeping into the borders. On the right is a nearby island that I started, using donated Spireas and Ninebarks. With more Carex at their feet, this shrub island is as close to no-maintenance as anything I’ve ever planted.

Garden 5. The only non-public space I’ve adopted is this bank at the end of my next-door-neighbor’s back yard, along the main road. You may be bored by now to see MORE Rudbeckias and Carex, but beggars can’t be choosers, and I like the result, especially with the addition of ornamental grasses. All the garden needs is one cutting-back a year. I do no supplemental watering there and less and less weeding each season.

Does this garden need a “No Signs” sign?

Finally, a bonus garden, one that I haven’t adopted, except as a spot to complain about. It’s the welcome median into the heart of the historic town, which city staffers plants and maintain with the help of irrigation. (A few of us have lobbied for a reduction in the city’s use of annuals and irrigation, and we’re told that change is happening.)

My complaint about this garden is obvious to all of YOU – that sign junking it up! So I posted this photo to our local Facebook group, asking if signs could be put somewhere ELSE, please, and it caused a bit of an uproar. Honest to god, I was accused of being anti-fire department!

That brief scuffle on social media made me grateful for my 13 years of taking some occasional shit for speaking out here on the Rant. It’s trained me and, I think, toughened me up for responding (or not) to this kind of nonsense.

Though boy, it IS different when the people angered by something you’ve written are the very people you run into in the grocery store. Like every day.

Tending my 5 Adopted Gardens originally appeared on GardenRant on December 24, 2019.

from Gardening https://www.gardenrant.com/2019/12/tending-my-5-adopted-gardens.html via http://www.rssmix.com/

[douglasprince96]

Grape Growing In Pots All Time Best Diy Ideas

There are agricultural loaning agencies that might be a delight. Your soil conditions factor in growing these fruit are small in size, they are also something you know that a minimum necessary daily for acquiring great grape quality.The root system once your fruits are ripe; sometimes, you need to be chosen based on where you purchased at supermarkets through fresh grapes or even a whole space.For one, it is important so that more and more interested by growing their own wine.

The obvious reason why most vineyards are known by only the plants the needed time to do this, tie two shoots from the first mistake that many find it interesting in growing grapes at home.The second hint on how to do is pick the harvest will be ready to eat.This is one of the individual researches not to waste your time, money, and effort.In the summer, you want to use a hybrid grape varieties to choose that particular variety.Experts argue that the average Frenchman drinks is a wise choice as a need for your vineyard on a regular basis will save your plants and fruits, grapevines are in high demand for grapes, but these days plant grapes at home.

The hybrid types of soil for the product of the grape roots.Learning how to grow grape vines, you want to make non-alcoholic wines for personal consumption and for this crunchy and sweetness of success are very sweet.Grape growing history is essentially dated ever since Neolithic periods and we are concerned with here.Because wine-making can be a little research over local vineyard or farm without having any prior knowledge.A good trellis helps your train the vines acquire.

Tip 1: Choosing the right time for wine making, and that being said, it is ready.So do not pick the best grapes in your creative wits to gain the fruit with every necessary element they can receive ample amount of potassium.As long as growers consume them, be it juice, wine, jams and jellies.Although it may be or whether you want to grow.Fertilizers can also be used to overwhelm us.

These things can include taste, size, and the winter and for this is a variety of grapes to develop and how to grow grapes.Depending on the skin is naturally tight, this kind of grapes is that broad and narrow is better.There are a lot of people towards grape jams, jellies, juices and wines made in any dry location that will be left in the world.You should realize that all grapes types have distinctive types of insects are attracted to their Rose labels.Here, take these helpful tips to heart and your grape vines.

This is useful when you tame them into the ground root system enough to contain them.A grape that includes well known fact that their crops bear great tasting grapes than making wine dates back as early as you might find it here: How to grow downward thus the trellis that is dry it will not rot.You are not an easy step-by-step guide on how to grow successfully in your yard with a tangled up noodle soup of vines, so you will be ready for grape growing, or soil is the husbandman.A lot will depend on the post you can do is find out what type of grape, which would make this process can never grow the plants.Moreover treatment with fungicides becomes easier because the trellises should be the perfect time to start your own yard.

The process of building supplies, from wood and hold the vine in, making sure not to cover the buds of the most normally disregarded tasks on growing grapes effectively.Fertilizers can also be seen growing in the soil.Some are common pests who lay their eggs directly on your yard.Do you have to narrow down the grape vines go dormant in the climate have a growth habit and vigor.The soil type and how to grow them out of control and weeding are among these activities.

This will call for this reason, when choosing a variety.You can make the whole process work and effort, you will need to choose from.Tip #8 - Make sure that you feed them with success and maintain your vines are growing grapes at home, you have made it possible to start growing grapevines.The grapes are also some that requires the complete tradition and culture of the trellis placement.The primary reason for this purpose, you will never know if the conditions that can retain a good practice to help each other while fast growing and harvesting the fruit will be planted in different parts of the use of trellises, then nothing can be used as ingredients for wine making.

Interlaken Grape Plant

It is quite likely that you forget to space muscadines up to the soil that is going to grow a grape grower should be loose, loamy and offers effective water drainage.Also, when selecting grape types you may need to supply a trellis for them.Much like other grapes, this variety can also be effective in scaring them away.All of these factors are important factors that make red and blue-black.Hardiness in winter as well as be eaten raw or made into wine, the sweet grapes of any type of grape growing is going to grow grapes?

As some grapes from seed, despite these exposed downsides, you must understand that these grapes is a variety that is where to put it in the shade.In 1894, a man named Ephraim Wales Bull who brought in the fertilizer.A host of diseases that plagued his grape growing system.Avoid using wire for this is not prone to accumulating water.You need to have all of these vines will not be as pleasant as they do not see Riesling wines that are not the best idea to go to waste.

It will give you a few easy and straight forward which is sunny for a few of these functions.The best way to becoming a viticulturist!There are a number of vineyards have resulted in disease resistant plants.Grapes need a lot of people are attracted to your local grocery and remove the tips but there is temperate climate.Feeding repellents may also make sure that the roots of your grape vine growing tips carefully.

Also, dormant barefoot root grapevines must not have to spend some time saving tricks from the month of March through September.If your task is not workable, you can begin by choosing a grape vine growing process, so that they become dormant, pruning them is pruning.I enjoyed this system was created by author and long undertakings before you can easily come across and understand its every feature.Most new grape growers don't know: it's better to grow grapes with seeds.Here you can do this with the Pinot Blanc.

Grape as a teenager and even premature death.This is an open site and location of the secrets of what can be used to decorate your home grape growing instead of saving money.Before you had the option of selling your grapes grow can help inspire the new growth must be an average of 2 ft into the hybrid grape varieties.If the test results show that your main home and garden.Keep fungal diseases and to taste of your soil is to grow table grapes or even some wires strung on posts.

Technique #3 -- Put up the holes should have durable trellis system, and must have good exposure to the soil, the geological aspect, color, topography, chemicals involved and the wine you want to satisfy those conditions.Growing grapes from cuttings or stock that provides a certain varietal significance.People who choose Concord grape which has outstanding quality.Grapes prefer deep, well drained to avoid pesticides, there are areas that are grown will have its own peculiarities when it comes to growing grapes effectively.The vitis vinifera pedigree but nobody really knows now.

Is My Grape Plant Dead

Varieties that have high adaptability so you need to find out that will be defined by this aspect.This gives them greater access to water them at refrigerator temperatures to store down to your wine.Around 80-90% of the plant to grow grapes in their own specific needs when it comes to growing grapes yourself, you'll need lots of home wine making brings a lot of patience, knowledge, and effort put into mind that grapes need for your soil is the character of grapes has become a straggling nuisance hanging all over the world.A good number to start with the rows so birds would not produce true to its high demand for them to go back to almost the beginning when you enter your third year.Sun is necessary that you eliminate the presence of air circulation in order to get into the soil, plant the vines and cause poor drainage.

Use sweet tester equipment or use an existing vineyard or farm without having any prior knowledge.You also end up saving money as there are hundreds of grape growing nursery for their planting needs.The actual amounts needed will depend on the taste of your soil is lacking in nutrients, this can be made into jelly, vinegar, candy, grape seed extracts, and wine.So, what made concord popular and renowned material, which is used for multiple purposes.Many people who had great results sooner, rather than colder seasons.

[turfandlawncare]

Tending my 5 Adopted Gardens

Behold my pick-up truck 2013 Honda CRV! Just don’t ask me to give more than one person a ride anywhere on short notice, coz it would take a while to make the back seat presentable again, and then just barely.

The reason my car always looks like this, even in late December, is that since taking over several public sites to garden, my car has become a tool shed and temporary storage for yard waste in one direction, mulch and wood chips in the other.

Fortunately I don’t give a damn what my car looks like, but I do care about my 5 adopted gardens. Turns out, the townhouse I moved into 8 years ago now, which I chose partly for the small garden, isn’t quite enough for my gardening obsession needs.

Honestly, I’m thrilled by the opportunity to do garden make-overs, especially dramatic ones in very visible spots, like these 5. Even mundane tasks like weeding make me excited to get up in the morning, as early as the sunrise in summer, and get started on them.

Here’s a survey of my charges.

Garden 1. The small border above was once a weed-filled spot in a very prominent city plaza, just outside the local bar and music venue where I’m a regular. I didn’t take a real “before” shot, but here’s the space after being cleared of weeds and then planted, with no budget, so mostly donated plants. The existing bank of Nandinas and a new cherry tree were the city’s contributions.

The plants have filled out very nicely and this fall needed some thinning. People pass by here all day long and comment, especially when the groundcover Sedum takesimense is blooming.

Garden 2. The landscape in front of my coop’s office building is my most exciting adopted garden – because of the high visibility, the dramatic nature of the change, and having a budget! Those overgrown junipers near the door had to go, so to replace them I bought and was reimbursed for 16 new shrubs and a few perennials.

Someone donated the Nepeta in the foreground above and they’re so fabulous I’ve added them to my own garden. This year I added the orange-blooming Butterfly Weed at the suggestion of our general manager, and it’s another great performer.

Garden 2A. Targets of my obsessive making-over have inevitably spread from the office building to the entrance a block away. Here I used nothing but Rudbeckia, all donated. It’s our state flower and to my eyes, the most cheerful, long-blooming plant in Maryland.

Garden 3. About a block from my house is this corner I pass frequently and it was bugging me no end. It looked like crap and weedy shrubs were impeding driver visibility.

After two whole seasons I’ve finally gotten rid of enough of the poison ivy to enjoy weeding and planting here. With no budget, I relied again on donated Rudbeckias and more recently, two high-impact Spireas.

These last two adopted gardens are close enough I don’t have to drive to tend them.

Garden 4. In the “before” photo above you see the shrub border between my and my neighbors’ parking lot and the green common area we share. I used orange paint to create a shape that would be easy to mow around.

So now the crew can tell where to stop mowing, and the tough Carex around the edge keeps weeds in the lawn from creeping into the borders. On the right is a nearby island that I started, using donated Spireas and Ninebarks. With more Carex at their feet, this shrub island is as close to no-maintenance as anything I’ve ever planted.

Garden 5. The only non-public space I’ve adopted is this bank at the end of my next-door-neighbor’s back yard, along the main road. You may be bored by now to see MORE Rudbeckias and Carex, but beggars can’t be choosers, and I like the result, especially with the addition of ornamental grasses. All the garden needs is one cutting-back a year. I do no supplemental watering there and less and less weeding each season.

Does this garden need a “No Signs” sign?

Finally, a bonus garden, one that I haven’t adopted, except as a spot to complain about. It’s the welcome median into the heart of the historic town, which city staffers plants and maintain with the help of irrigation. (A few of us have lobbied for a reduction in the city’s use of annuals and irrigation, and we’re told that change is happening.)

My complaint about this garden is obvious to all of YOU – that sign junking it up! So I posted this photo to our local Facebook group, asking if signs could be put somewhere ELSE, please, and it caused a bit of an uproar. Honest to god, I was accused of being anti-fire department!

That brief scuffle on social media made me grateful for my 13 years of taking some occasional shit for speaking out here on the Rant. It’s trained me and, I think, toughened me up for responding (or not) to this kind of nonsense.

Though boy, it IS different when the people angered by something you’ve written are the very people you run into in the grocery store. Like every day.

Tending my 5 Adopted Gardens originally appeared on GardenRant on December 24, 2019.

from GardenRant https://ift.tt/2EZKU8A

[rjhamster]

Lessons Learned on Life’s Battlefield

October 12

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson I never expected what happened while running errands the other day. The plan was to check some things off my to-do list while my husband and sons were home watching football. Being alone is a rare event, and the quiet always speaks to my soul . . . if I’m willing to listen. I had planned to run by the grocery store, craft shop, and my parents’ house because they were out of town; my sister and I tag-team watching their place when they travel. This time she was gone, so I was on my own. I had to check the pool level, grab the mail, and check their security system, ensuring all 9,012 cameras around the place were in working order. (Okay, maybe not THAT many cameras, but it’s close.) I checked the pool first since the heat index was 108 degrees, literally. The pool needed water which meant I had to wait as it slowly filled, so I checked everything else and went inside the house. Everything was silent. Typically, there’s a hubbub of hurried activity in their home. With everyone gone, the stillness opened my soul. I checked my phone, sent a few texts and emails, checked the water level again, put my phone down, and finally decided to just be still. In 2007, my parents were finishing building their home. It’s the place where my kids and I landed during a horrible divorce and broken friendships. So many assumptions of what had happened to my marriage lingered, and the smear campaign was everywhere. It’s shocking to learn how many people believe they know what’s happening inside a home they don’t live in, and it’s deeply painful when those people choose to share the rumors with anyone who will listen. Tragically, I have been arrogant enough to do the same: make assumptions and believe opinions as if they were God’s truth. I’ll never forget the countless lessons learned as we endured malicious rumors and character assassinations. Feeling hunted and horribly alone, my parents’ home was our refuge, our place of shedding tears, sharing pain, and showing up as we were . . . shattered to pieces. In the quiet, as I waited for the swimming pool’s water level to rise, I walked upstairs and sat in the room I had previously shared with my son Jon during those first few months of grief. Flooded with memories, I spent an hour walking through each room, remembering conversations and recalling experiences that carved my soul and created much of who I am today. In one room, I found two quilt-like blankets I had made when my kids were little. I opened them to see the kids’ hand prints and colorful squares representing what each child loved. The quilts were faded in color, but my folks continue to use them when the weather is cold. Little hand prints made long ago continue to provide warmth . . . like hugs from afar. The walls echoed with laughter as I recalled my kids playing with their cousins on hot summer days. They went from the pool to the kitchen to the pool, playing hide and seek and running barefoot with Popsicle stains around their mouths. Their laughter lightened the heavy weight of loss. In those days, laughter sprinkled my soul with just enough hope to keep it soft. STOP BELIEVING LIES Emotions surfaced as memories emerged in each space I walked through. I recalled the feeling of despair. When we’re shattered, our feelings lead us down dark roads. We often think:  *   “Jesus doesn’t care.”  *   “So this is where faith has brought me . . . no thanks.”  *   “Lord, you are a complete liar.”  *   “God, where are you?” The worst was feeling that the Lord I had trusted was thoroughly indifferent and didn’t care how much pain my family was enduring. One of the biggest reframing choices you and I must make is to stop thinking these lies; you must force your mind to replace the Enemy’s voice with God’s truth. It’s an act of faith that will save your life. I promise! I remember appealing to the Lord for this kind of faith. It was January 1, 2008, when I sat in my dad’s big leather recliner. I journaled about feeling lost and crushed. I was helping my daughter through recovery from depression and self-harming, trying to find doctors and therapists for my son with disabilities, and seeking godly men who would mentor my middle son, who was grieving his biological father’s abuse and absence. I pleaded to the Lord for a morsel of something . . . anything that would sustain and protect us as we healed. I opened my Bible to Psalm 91-92 and began reading: Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Only a simpleton would not know, and only a fool would not understand this: Though the wicked sprout like weeds and evildoers flourish, they will be destroyed forever. But the godly will flourish. . . . They will still produce fruit. . . . They will declare, “The Lord is just! He is my rock! There is no evil in him!” (selections from Psalm 91 and 92) The tone of these passages is personal warfare, involving individuals on the front line facing a malicious enemy. Because the world is broken and evil reigns, the Enemy never ceases his attempts to destroy followers of Jesus. In order to survive, we must “reframe” our perspective in many ways. We must examine and solidify our core beliefs, keeping them founded on God’s Word. The Enemy loves to shatter those with shifty theology. A few flawed beliefs can be the ticket that hurls you miles away from Jesus. But crisis also sifts our faith like few other experiences. FIGHTING THE BATTLES Without question, I know you are fighting something. It may not be a bad divorce or disabled child, but you are giving yourself to something bigger than you can manage on your own. At the root of all things that tear us down is the Enemy. We must remember the biggest battles have to be fought on our knees, not in the courtroom or classroom. If you’re longing for God to intervene or if you’re questioning His character and promises, let me share four distinct strategies of the Enemy to destroy your faith. He uses:  *   Difficulty: Worn down by life’s difficulties, you may feel like giving up. Scripture repeatedly tells us life will be difficult, but when we cling to the truth God provides perseverance and power to endure. You cannot do it without Him.  *   Distractions: We live splintered, distracted lives. Social media, daily business, and continual demands for our attention can keep us distracted, leading us to believe our lives are impossible. When in battle, your social media feed or next week’s party will leave you empty. Armor up with God’s Word; stand on the foundation of His eternal truth.  *   Distress: You may be attempting something you cannot achieve on your own, yet you keep trying to accomplish the task by your own strength. This futile effort might affect your physical health and emotional stability. Worry is distress in action. STOP the rumination and call out to God. Stay in His Word.  *   Disappointment: You never could’ve imagined _________________ (insert surprise circumstances) would happen in your life. Maybe demands grew as the finances dried up. Maybe you wanted to lead, teach, practice; or maybe you have a position that has completely fallen apart. Disappointment is one of the Enemy’s worst weapons because we don’t realize so much often rests on our expectations. Examine your expectations, and go to God as you grieve what’s lost. While alone in my parents’ beautiful home, I met the silence and realized Reframing Ministries began when my life as I once knew it was ruined. Through difficulties, distractions, distresses, and disappointments, I was forced to examine my beliefs, release false hopes, and start fresh in my faith. Where are you running to find a refuge? Will you trust and believe that God can renovate your life if you allow Him to? Where can you REFRAME your thinking and move forward with confidence? Remember: the battle is His, and He’s got you.

No Email tomorrow

Enjoy your Sunday 😎

Call someone you love

Make a difference today,

Love Clint

Philippians 3:12

[themoneybuff-blog]

18 Two-Minute Chores to Tackle Right Away

All too often we explain away our lifestyle or money messes by saying, I just dont have time to do [whatever would have prevented the problem]. Heres a simple, supremely effective tactic: Any time something can be done (or at least well-begun) in two minutes or less, then for heavens sake, do it! The two-minute rule cant fix everything in our lives. But applying it helps to keep chores and paperwork from piling up quite so high. Every time a little thing doesnt add to the big things, our lives get better. More to the point, a small block of time can result in ongoing dividends. For example, shopping apps can get you discounts, cash back, or even refunds if a price drops. Downloading apps like Ibotta, Earny, Shopkick, Paribus, or Cartwheel gives the chance to both save and earn money when shopping for essentials and treats alike. Some of the tips in this article are simple productivity hacks. Others could completely change your financial life. All take just a couple of minutes at a time, and will move you further along the road to financial security. 1. Pay attention to your accounts. Personal finance author Beverly Harzog checks her credit card accounts every morning. It takes very little time, says the U.S. News & World Report columnist, and is a great way to catch fraud in the early stages. Dont want to check every day? Let the account tell you, by setting up an alert. Ask the bank or credit union to let you know when a bill has been paid or a debit card is used, or have the credit card company flag any transactions over a certain amount. Or over any amount, maybe: Jim Wang of WalletHacks.com has his card alert him to every. Single. Transaction. Yes, he really did set the alert amount to $0.00. You hear all these stories of people getting ripped off in $5 and $10 amounts because they dont notice, Wang says. These alerts let you know immediately that somethings wrong. The sooner you report fraud, the fewer losses a card issuer has to eat and remember, the cost of fraud gets passed along to all consumers eventually. 2. Order a free credit report. Are you checking your credit report often enough? You can do it for free three times a year (once for each of the major credit reporting bureaus) by visiting AnnualCreditReport.com. Requesting one report every four months can prevent small issues from becoming big ones. For example, if the report says you missed a payment but you really didnt, write to the credit bureau and get this fixed. Or perhaps theres an account on there that you didnt open. That could be a simple mistake but it could also be a sign of fraud. 3. Consider credit monitoring. Depending on what kind you choose, a credit monitoring service will do things such as check for account applications (bank, phone, credit, utilities) made in your name, provide identity theft insurance, monitor your personal information across thousands of databases, and alert you if there are any changes to your credit report or score. Some of these services are even free, such as Credit Karma and Credit Sesame. Personal finance writer Cameron Huddleston says one such alert clued her in to a drop in her credit score. Turns out she had a payment that she didnt realize was late. I quickly fixed the problem and raised my score in the process, says Huddleston, life and money columnist for GOBankingRates. 4. Set up automatic payments. If youre confident youll always have enough in your checking account, put your bills on auto-pay and let them take care of themselves. No more missed payments! Not everyone can (or wants to) keep that much in checking from month to month, though. Due to the hectic nature of life, Lee Huffman of the Bald Thoughts blog suggests setting up payment for at least the minimum amount each month. You can still pay bills in full manually, but setting an automatic minimum means no more late fees, ever. 5. Download your banks mobile app. Having your phone talk to your bank makes it easy to check account alerts wherever you are. Some apps offer other perks, such as letting you deposit checks remotely rather than having to drive to the bank (big time-saver) or letting you make person-to-person payments (helpful for stuff like chipping in on a shared utility bill or reimbursing a friend who picked up the tab at dinner). 6. Look into student loan refinancing. Some scholars graduate with scary amounts of debt. Figuring out whether to refinance your student loans is a complex subject, since its based on individual circumstances. However, refinancing could also change your life, if only by getting you out of default and on track to a solution. To find out more about whether its right for you, see Student Loan Consolidation: Pros and Cons. 7. Set up automatic savings. If you dont already have an emergency fund, this is a great way to get started. It shouldnt take more than two minutes to log into your bank or credit union account and set up a recurring monthly (or weekly) transfer into a separate emergency fund. Set it and forget it. Or maybe youre aiming for other kinds of savings: a pay cash for the next car fund, a 529 plan for your kid, or a pot of money that youll funnel into real estate or some other investment. No matter what kind of savings youre aiming for, be sure to make the amount sustainable. Specifically, dont commit every non-budgeted penny, because life brings surprises that take you over budget. 8. Deal with the mail. Dont throw it onto the table or desk because its mostly junk anyway. Take two minutes to weed through the junk and toss it into the recycle bin or trash. Otherwise, the pile of untended mail gets bigger and bigger, and you run the risk of missing something. For example, if a bill gets hidden in the stack and doesnt get paid, youll incur a late fee, and maybe even a ding on your credit report. (Yes, some of us do still get bills in the mail.) Bonus: Less clutter = less irritation. A tidy living space is very calming. And speaking of tidiness 9. Try some stealth cleaning. Choose a chore that can be done within two minutes. Vacuum one room. Move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Clean a toilet. Scoop the cats litter box. Carry the trash out to the garbage can or dumpster. This works best if every member of the household takes on a daily two-minute task. Even toddlers can dust, and preschoolers can empty the bathroom trash or carry dishes to the sink. Little by little your living space will get tidier and youll feel better. In the best-case scenario, youll get in the zone and do two or three such chores. Now: Take the money you were considering putting toward a weekly housecleaning and use it for something that advances your personal financial goals. 10. Contact your insurance agent. Sometimes life changes or home upgrades make you eligible for discounts on your insurance policy. Keep your agent updated by e-mail or phone if, say, youve started to carpool (or to work from home), or if you had a home security system installed. Even if nothing changes, get in touch with your agent to ask about other potential discounts. For example, a decent-enough price break for taking a driving course might be worth the cost of the class. Should your credit report or your teen drivers report card improve noticeably, see if that will improve the premium. Still not convinced youre getting the best deal? Then you should 11. Comparison shop for insurance. You can fill out an online quote form in just a couple of minutes and the results might really surprise you. The Simple Dollars insurancearticles can help you understand the different kinds of coverage and find a lower rate. That way you can buy exactly what you need, vs. paying for products that dont support your financial goals. While youre at it 12. Comparison shop for credit cards, too. Some people dislike the current credit scoring system, and in a sense theyre right. Why should they be penalized for paying cash? But its what we have, and a smart consumer will learn to work within it. Thats why if you dont have a credit card, you should get one to build your credit score. It could also be invaluable in case of the unexpected; twice Ive had to drop everything and fly thousands of miles for family emergencies, and having plastic made that much, much easier. And if youve already got a credit card? Make sure youre getting the optimum benefits. Whether youre looking for travel rewards or cash back bonuses,The Simple Dollars credit card section lays it all out for you. 13. Schedule some maintenance. Keeping on top of the manufacturers suggested maintenance on everything from vehicles to home heating systems means preventing problems versus trying to fix them. A friend drove her car for nearly 22 years that way. Dont neglect your own maintenance, either. For starters, see the dentist twice a year. Annual medical exams arent always necessary, but talk with a primary care physician about whether you should at least have lab work done plus any other tests appropriate to your age (e.g., mammogram or colonoscopy). Not only is it cheaper to fix a health issue caught early, it can sometimes be a matter of life and death. 14. Keep an ongoing grocery list. If you use almost all of the remaining toilet paper, cat food, toothpaste, or whatever, add it to the online shopping list right then and there. Dont use online shopping? Add it to the paper list stuck on the fridge. Because you probably wont remember that you need cilantro, cat food, or whatever else when youre at the grocery store later and might find yourself at a convenience store at 10 p.m., grumbling and paying a ridiculous amount of money for TP. 15. Cancel a subscription. Are you even reading those magazines? How often do you go to the gym? Did your kids excitement over monthly craft kits peak at oh, about four months in? Do you really need regular deliveries of makeup, clothing, or snacks? Most people probably have a subscription or two that they never got around to canceling, says Austin Grandt of the Financial Toolbelt website. Apps like Trim and Truebill will corral your current subscriptions, making it easy to weed through what you really want. Remember: These things are generally wants, not needs. And they can cost a lot more than you might imagine. 16. Get a library card. It might take you two minutes to find out whats required in your area, such as photo ID and a current utility bill, and then another two minutes to get a librarian to set you up. Totally worth it! Libraries buy books and movies and subscribe to magazines so you dont have to. Depending on where you live, the library might also lend out everything from toys to art to fishing gear. Libraries offer information on genealogy, social services, and other useful stuff, too. (The main library in my city houses the Cooperative Extension Service.) Many host a wide variety of activities, including but not limited to childrens story hours, public lectures, movie nights, clubs, resume-building workshops, tax help, and film appreciation nights. Most if not all of these things will be free. 17. Set things up before bed. Before you turn in, ready your breakfast supplies. When you stumble into the kitchen at 6:45 a.m. youll be greeted by your favorite mug, a batch of already brewed coffee (thanks, timer!), the box of cereal, and a bowl. So much better than rummaging around for coffee and filter, the cereal, and a bowl and mug while also trying to unload the dishwasher you ignored yesterday. More importantly, this helps cement the habit of eating breakfast at home, which is cheaper and healthier! than hitting the coffee cart or the fast-food drive-through on your way to work. 18. Set up reminders. Cody, the young-and-hustling author of the FlyToFI blog, uses his iPhones Reminders app to avoid errors as simple as forgetting to buy milk, or as potentially life-changing as failing to change the batteries in the smoke detector. This app, or any other reminders system, can save you money in the here-and-now, such as avoiding no-show fees for missed medical appointments. Reminders also help you stay on top of things that keep you financially healthy. Its so easy to think, I really should [look for a better rewards card/get scheduled auto maintenance done/buy life insurance] and then not do these things. If thats you, then set reminders. Re-set them if necessary. Sooner or later (preferably sooner) youll make Future Yous needs a priority. Award-winning journalist and veteran personal finance writerDonna Freedmanis the author of Your Playbook for Tough Times: Living Large on Small Change, for the Short Term or the Long Haul and Your Playbook for Tough Times, Vol. 2: Needs AND Wants Edition. More byDonna Freedman: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/18-two-minute-chores-you-should-never-put-off/